#an even angstier continuation of the previous one

[snicker-doodles]

MLC AU Part 2

a continuation of the previous MLC AU Part 1

------------------

Imagine Li Xiangyi still feeling guilty about everything so he ran away after everything was over because he’s afraid Di Feisheng would hate him when he got his memory back

Imagine DFS finally getting his memory back and ended up being the one chasing LXY around so they can get married cause for him his beloved can do no wrong and he just doesn’t give a fuck

However, what if LXY truly belive that DFS is after him for revenge, so everytime DFS found LXY, somehow he always tried to avoid him, over and over again

“Di Mengzhu, I don’t mind talking to you but after we solve this case ok?” but he would always run away the moment the case is solved

What if everytime DFS managed to corner him, LXY would always find an excuse, because he’s afraid to face DFX, not because he’s afraid of death, but because he genuinely feels guilty about almost killing him and what happened to DFS for the last decade, and he truly believe DFS would never forgive him for that, cause after all, he knew that freedom is what matters most to DFS

What if LXY simply couldn’t bear to hear DFS say that he doesn’t love him anymore or that he hates him, so he chose to run, without knowing that DFS truly never blamed him and genuinely just want to spend the rest of his days with LXY

Imagine after all those time seeing LXY looking so sad and miserable in his presence, but could actually laugh happily when he’s with other people like Qiao Wanmian or even with Zhan Yunfei and Yun Biqiu who clearly had poisoned him at some point, DFS finally started to think that maybe, maybe LXY truly doesn’t love him anymore, that maybe he truly think that DFS no longer deserves to be with him after knowing everything about his past

Imagine DFS finally decided to give up, cause after all, isn’t Xiangyi’s happiness and wellbeing the most important thing? and if his presence wound ruin all that, then maybe he should just leave him alone after all

Imagine DFS spending his days drinking his sorrows away without realizing that Jiao Liqiao was still out there following his every move, waiting for her chance

What if JLQ managed to poison his wine, captured him, and then severed all his tendons to make sure that DFS would never run away from her ever again

Imagine DFS just stayed put without even trying to get away, after all, he has already been freed from the mind-controlling bug then destroyed the Di fortress and took his revenge, so what else is left for him in this world? without his Xiangyi, why should he care about life anymore

After sometime, imagine LXY started to feel that something is wrong, wehere is A Fei? Didn’t he keep on perstering him for the last couple of months? Where did he go? Did he feel like LXY is not worth the trouble and just decided to leave? No, its not like him, DFS would always finish what he started, if he want revenge, he would definitely get it, so why? Where is he?

Imagine LXY finally started to investigate and managed to find that JLQ took DFS away

Imagine LXY managed to find her hideout and saw what she did to DFS

Imagine LXY feeling an intense fury like never before, and in his rage, he slaugthered JLQ and every single one of her underlings, then proceeded to raze the whole fortress to the ground

After all of that, imagine DFS feeling confused, didn’t he hate me? Then why?

What if these two foolish men finally got around and actually talk to each other while LXY used his yangzhouman to help heal DFS

What if LXY finally decided to stop running and just face the music, but first let me heal you ok A Fei? After, I’ll listen to everything that you want to say to me, and if you want to kill me, that would be fine too, I won’t run away anymore

Imagine DFS feeling so incredulous thinking, Xiangyi what the hell? Why would I ever hate you let alone want to kill you? none of it is your fault! ok, maybe that day we could’ve talk first instead of just started to fight, but I was also at fault for not trying to explain myself and just feeling angry and jealous because you keep on talking about your damn shixiong! I know you no longer have feelings for me and refuses to be anywhere near me after you found out about my past, I know I’m not good enough for you, but I love you, and I will always do till the day I die

Imagine LXY feeling so regretful for not trying to properly investigate and just simply confronted DFS back then, and feeling so stupid to ever doubt his A Fei’s love for him, and really A Fei, what the hell? Why would I ever stop loving you? I was just feeling guilty, what do you mean you’re not good enough for me? I’m the one who’s not good enough for you! We were young then, but I should’ve known better now, I’m sorry, for everything that I put you through, and I do love you, always, since that first day when you came to challenge me, there’s been no one else but you

Imagine LXY finally brought DFS back with him to Sigu Sect and everyone was all, oh, you boys have finally figured it out? Thank heavens

[spatialwave]

high, high, up in the sky.

➸ pairing: thanos/choi subong x fem!reader ➸ word count: 1.6k words ➸ tags: nsfw, angst, drug use, vaginal sex, semi-public sex, mentions of addiction, thanos is a bit manipulative. ➸ notes: an angstier addition to this series. this will likely be the last part, but we'll see. if darker sexual themes are triggers, please be mindful of what's under the cut.

<- part 1.

You hadn’t left Thanos’ radar as each morning, afternoon, and night passed—nearly two days whizzed by until the third game was thrown at the remaining players. You weren’t a proud person, having made several questionable choices in the short span of less than forty-eight hours: continuously voting yes even as fear crept up your spine… and sucking off Subong in the bathroom so you could get another pill to ease the increasing anxiety.

It was a time of desperation. A high libido and an addictive personality weren’t a great combo, often putting you in interesting situations, but this one took the cake. 

That’s why he kept his gaze on you as you played the third game, both of you higher than the clouds in the sky as the carousel spun you around and around—the song that played making you want to rip your hair out. Each round became an exhausting blur, barely making it through and allowing Subong and Namgyu to take control of the situation. It was the final round when you had lost sight of your flashier friends, having disappeared into a room with Minsu and Semi with only a few seconds left to spare in the prior round.

You stood on the spinning stage, eyes hardly able to settle on anything as everything became a dizzying haze around you—taking a pill before Mingle wasn’t a smart decision. You realized the fault in your decision when the carousel abruptly stopped, and a number was announced loudly and clearly.

Two.

Your heart stuttered in your chest as you looked over your shoulder at the two players you’d found safety with the previous round, panic settled in as pairs of players began to break off. You were too fucking high for this.

You were moments away from telling them to grab a room and that you’d do your best to find someone—likely failing, but at least you’d be high as shit when you died. Maybe you wouldn’t feel anything.

But a hand hooked tight on your elbow as your lips parted to speak, eyes drifting up to land on a familiar purple-haired player. You looked at the team you’d found support in, seeing Namgyu grab Minsu with Semi left behind. However, you didn’t have time to panic or question why she was being left alone to fend for herself because your survival instincts kicked in.

“What the fuck—” you yelped as you picked up the pace, colours and movements bright in your eyes as Subong tugged you towards the nearest door. Your heart rate was high, the pulsing of blood loud in your ears as the two of you rushed.

You didn’t have time to question why he’d grabbed you, nor did you have time to thank him because your key to safety was taken when two men shoved themselves in front of you both and opened the door.

It was easy to blame it on drugs—the way your eyes saw red as the seconds ticked by and left you little time to get inside that room. Ten seconds, to be exact.

Your arm pulled away from Subong’s touch, two hands grabbing at the collar of the stockier man’s sweater, tugging him back with all the strength you could muster as adrenaline shocked your system. Your partner followed suit, hands on the second man’s shoulders and pushed him until he fell back against the bloodied floor—winded and gasping for air.

“Fuck yeah!” Subong cheered as he kicked the men aside without any remorse, his hand back on your wrist as he forced you into the room with him; two seconds left to spare.

The lock clicked, and you jolted back when one of the men jumped at the door, looking through the small peephole as he spat profanities at you both until his eyes rolled back lifelessly—several bullets piercing the back of his neck.

“Holy shit,” you breathed, grabbing at your sweater and tugging down the zipper so you could free yourself from the confines of the fabric and toss it to the floor. You were hot, the drugs in your system leaving you dehydrated and scorching, your head spinning as gunshots rang through your ears. “Fuck this game. Fuck this game.”

The words fell from your tongue like a mantra, and Thanos watched you with curious eyes, though mostly exploring the tattoos on your skin that he hadn’t had the luxury of seeing in normal lighting. He didn’t feel sorry for you, not when you begged him for another pill and wore the blue patch on your clothing.

He wasn’t heartless, but he had compassion for others within reason. It hadn’t helped that he was reaching his peak in his high, handling the sensations much better than you had.

“You’re fine,” he mumbled, two hands extending out and pressing against your hot cheeks, flushed in colour. “Better than dead.”

You were forced to look up at him, breathing heavily through your nostrils. Funnily enough, you felt your senses begin to calm as he stared into your eyes, his pupils blown wide.

“Why’d you grab me?” You asked, eyes growing heavy as you waited for an answer. You should’ve been dead, but there you were, barely scraping by and cheating death with each game.

Subong snorted a laugh, his left hand patting your cheek a few times, “Because I worked too hard to have you flop dead like a fish.”

You grunted, the sound reverberating in your throat as the distant sound of machinery came from the other side of the door. Clean-up always took a minimum of ten minutes for each pair of players to snap back to reality and find thanks in their survival before it was time to head back to the dorms and repeat.

“If you want anything more from me, then you’re fresh out of luck. What happened last night was a one-off,” you mumbled, pulling your face from his gentle touch. “I’m not like that.”

“What happened to the sweet girl who let me crawl into her bed, hm?” Subong pouted, the sound earning an annoyed roll of your eyes.

“Like I said, a one-off. I’m here to survive, not to be some drug addict's little plaything. I have morals.” You muttered, turning your face from him with a click of your tongue, moving to look outside the peephole as the guards slowly began to clean up—slowly, but surely, the bodies disappeared into caskets. 26 bodies.

Subong had stepped behind you, careful hands brushing aside the red hair that hung over your shoulders, layered and frayed out in all directions. Still messy from your sleep. 

“You don’t have morals,” he murmured under his breath, the cool touch of his fingers over the nape of your neck offering a reprieve from the heat that flooded your senses. “Why else would you go on your knees just for a measly little pill? Don’t act all high and mighty now. You might die tomorrow. Why be stingy now?”

You hated that he had a point. Your bruised pride was the only reason you were acting aloof, embarrassed from the lengths you’d go to for pleasure. When you were faced with death after the first game, you remember telling yourself that this was a time for change. If you survived, you would come out of the games a better person, kinder to yourself. No more drugged out nights where you would wake up still in a drunken stupor—barely making it to work where you would do a day of tattoos and spend the money on a night that repeated the last. Spending more than what you earned.

You’d start fresh and pay off your debts, then open up a new tattoo shop you could run by yourself and leave behind the ‘friends’ that weighed you down.

Maybe your family would invite you back home.

“You’re bad at convincing,” you said quietly, eyes dropping from the bloody mess.

“Then why haven’t you pulled away yet?” Subong’s voice dropped to a low murmur, his lips meeting with the exposed skin on the crook of your neck. 

“Stop talking—” you huffed, turning around to face the taller man. 

Fuck it. 

Your hands snaked up his neck, and you tugged him down until your lips met with his in a hasty, drug-fuelled kiss. You were almost certain you saw a camera in the corner of the room when you first stepped in, but you didn’t care. What would they do? Kill you for fucking?

A moan rumbled from his throat as his hands immediately pushed inside your sweats, pushing past the waistband that clung to your hips. You whined into his mouth, tongue pushing past his lips with need as you tasted him and allowed the sounds squeaking from your throat to muffle.

His fingers pushed past your underwear, his middle finger finding your clit that pulsed with desire. Subong rubbed in slow circles, breaking the kiss so he could fixate his mouth along your neck and kiss with too much teeth. 

It was easy to submit to his touch, to allow the pleasure to suffocate every inch of you. He bit and sucked at your neck, unafraid to push the limits as his fingers pushed inside your cunt, fleshy walls tightening around the intrusion that you welcomed wholly. Your fingernails dug into the back of his neck, fingers curling into the metal chain of his necklace as you held back moans that desperately craved to echo through the room.

You let him take control. Your pants soon pooled at your right ankle as your left leg curled around his hips, and his cock pushed into you—thick inside your tight walls. Thanos fucked you in a quick rhythm, needing release as soon as he could reach it because you didn’t have the luxury of time. As he fucked you hard and fast, you breathed heavily into his ear and stared up at the camera in the corner of the room.

Fuck these games.

[totem-but-shark]

What other songs do you think were written about Fooligetta? And Foolish on his own?

my dear anon you have no clue how long i've been waiting for someone to ask about my self proclaimed fooligetta coded songs /j

the songs i associate with qfoolish mostly pull from his vibes and lore rather than angst, especially from his federation arc as that's been my favourite version of him we've seen so far. So higher energy, emphasis on chaos, hidden agendas

some of these include:

The Court Jester by thquib

GO! (feat. Karen O) by Santigold

What do they know? by Mindless Self Indulgence

Get Jinxed by Djerv

The villain I Appear to Be by Connor Spiotto & Molly Pease

and escolha errada for obvious reasons

I used to have a full fooligetta fluff playlist but unfortunately i recently deleted it reorganising my spotify, most of the music I associate with them nowadays is far more bittersweet anyway though still very much so with an element of the love they shared and continue to share even though apart

this includes:

Graveljaw by Pow Pow Family Band (though really all of this album)

Thoroughfare by Ethel Cain

Mine Forever by Lord Huron

Wish That You Were Here by Florence + the Machine

Petals on the Moon by Waisia Project

AND YOU DIDNT ASK but it would pain me if i didn't include my qvegetta coded songs, the number one of which has to be Which Witch by Florence + the Machine as it fits perfectly with my personal interpretation of him representing his turbulent relationship to partnership and past scars from previous lovers. It actually inspired a whole fooligetta fic im currently working on! I also have to include Never Let Me Go also by Florence +the Machine and good ol' reliable Never Love an Anchor by the Crane Wives, angstier stuff.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Oooh, The Furnaced!Macaque AU be looking good. So many angst options!

(At least Buddha was nice enough to make the urn with the FFM top)

Spideys Brain: <Ey, let’s make this angstier.>

“What, Mac actually being dead?”

<Nope! Even better!SWK and Mac were reduced to ashes, yeah? What if they were really close in there, so the ash piles were actually one pile?>

“Go on…”

<SWK regenerating from the ashes…he also grabbed onto Mac’s ashes – I mean, it was probs reactionary, like, starting as soon as he dissolved into ash…right on top of Mac’s. Or Mac dissolved into ashes while on top of him, whichever floats the boat…>

“Wait, you mean, like Mac being like an ashy symbiote inside SWKs body that comes out. Would be, him breathing out smoke and, whoa, here’s Macky!”

<Cool idea, not quite. Think Steven Universe Gems.>

“So, they like fused. Can they unfuse?”

<Nope! Loss of self and identity crisis up the wazoo!>

So yeah…Lao Tzu cracking that bad boy open to see what’s up and this unholy combination of both SWK and LEM comes out screaming and hitting – confused, gotta be in a lot of pain, freaking the fuck out in general. Heaven shrieks in terror as this abomination continues the rampage that leaves nearly all of Heaven in shambles – can’t believe they are wishing for SWK to be the one to do it instead.

Dunno what else to say, but I guess there would be a lot of derealizations, disassociations and identity crises down the line. Maybe identity death? Definitely grieving over the loss of self. That Journey is gonna be FUN.

Hmm….Welded Monkey AU? It’s a synonym of fused and, get this, *married*. Guess when they work it out, they might go Garnet on all this, then? Just a Garnet that couldn’t defuse even if they wanted to…okay, bad example…

(Also, imagine the general Wukongverse reaction to this…this fused monkey that still struggles with feeling real and has no actual identity…like, they love their LEMs but that is just the purest of nightmare fuel even for them – who would’ve thought the furnace could bring forth even more fears?)

Ohohoho

"Welded Monkey!au" is delightfully devious.

Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque may have technically "died" to the Furnace...

But the four-armed, firey-eyed, six-eared, and two-tailed Welded Monkey King of the Crucible was born.

And of course this is considering that the being born from the furnace is a grown fusion, and was not compressed into a fresh Diamond Stone Egg from the ashes...

Both two previous minds clashing and marrying and a whole new mind forming all at once. Not even the Buddha is sure what to make of it.

The battle in heaven is legendary, and even the strongest warrior Erlang Shen is left permanently injured - the Welded Monkey being his equal match + 1. But like with the original story, the Monkey proves far too proud to turn down a bet from the Buddha (though the Macaque part of them yells that it's a trick).

Tripitaka finds his bodyguard 500 years later chained under the Mountain, and nearly faints from the sight.

A tall, bronze-furred monkey that looks at the monk with equal fascination and disgust. Molten copper and iron still dripping from their maw. Lets just say Guanyin needs to apply the crown immediately or else the combined anger of SWK and the spite of LEM means one less Journey member.

Many demons run at the sight of them.

The Welded Monkey (aka "Alloy/Héjīn) refers to themselves only in plural pronouns, as to respect their original forms.

They wield a staff and can jump into the shadows of their foes. To the unknowing, it's like seeing an Asura fight on earth.

Their personality is one of opposites; cheeky and demure, boisterous and calculating, honest and scheming, theatric and shy. So many aspects of Sun Wukong and Macaque combined.

It gets a little awkward for them to explain what's exactly going on. Enemies think it's an interesting power-up. Former friends are the most confused.

PIF: "So are you Sun Wukong or are you Macaque?" Hejin: "Yes and no." DBK: "So their child? Being a combination of both?" Hejin: "We have their memories though." DBK: "Hmm... what's it like?" Hejin, thinking for a while: "Noisy. On the inside." PIF: "I always did think Wukong and Macaque would marry. Just not in this way."

I imagine their Journey is more one of finding their own personality and identity after their creation, and them/the world as a whole accepting the loss of who they once were.

The Wukongverse def pities/is terrified of what Hejin respresents. Hejin is not a SWK/LEM child, nor are they just them combined - they are something Else.

The different Lao Tzu/Laozi's make sure to note; "Do Not put more than one monkey in the Furnace at once."

[shmaptainwrote]

ok it's going to be angst but I would like to know what it would be like if James and the reader were married, but James is cheating on her (does he tell her, how? their reactions...). thanks love!

okay this idea is very angsty and i needed a minute to think about it before responding cause i think it could go a few ways

i think knowing james’ past history he does end up telling you, when he talks to cameron about him having cheated on his previous wives he says it’s better not to tell, but i think the guilt would fester to much and he would cave even if he thinks he can keep it to himself regardless of if it was a one time thing or not

i think the first reaction most people have after being told that their partner cheated on them is usually hurt and for some it quickly changes to anger and others it stays as hurt or sadness and so i think whatever happens after he tells you could go a few ways

if you got angry i have a feeling that probably results in a breakup. you don’t want to hear anything he has to say, in your mind the fact that he could be unfaithful to you is too big of an issue and you wouldn’t be able to forgive him for it (i think in this case you’d also have to be very secure of yourself and not really willing to make any exceptions)

in the other case if you felt hurt and sad, i think that’s a situation where maybe james might have a little more wiggle room to redeem himself (maybe paired with if you were a little insecure, like if you feel very strongly for him and don’t think you’d be able to do better if you were to break up so you want to try and make it work before giving up) and james would be very apologetic, maybe wanting to come close to you and just hold you and say he’s so sorry over and over again, but he knows he shouldn’t, he should give you space and see where it goes. maybe he’s expecting you to make him leave, or for you to leave, so he’s a little caught off guard when you say you need some time to process and maybe he should sleep on the couch for a few days

a few days maybe turns into a week or two before you’re ready to talk and when you do you convince yourself that even though he’s done it once he won’t do it again and you can still be happy together, even if it takes work and time

so james continues to sleep on the couch while you further your conversation about what happened and how to move past it and maybe one night even though you know you shouldn’t go to him, you shouldn’t cave that easily, you find him on the couch and gently wake him up by rubbing his arm before telling him to come back into the bedroom with you (again this is honestly the more angstier option imo because i feel like there’s some self hate in it, like feeling that you deserved to be cheated on and not even seeing it as his fault but more or less yours for not doing enough in the first place? even tho that’s obviously not true)

send me your RSL character x reader thoughts

→ accepting asks for james wilson, cruise, and peter müller

→ i’ve seen up to 5x12 of house — NO SPOILERS PLEASE

[thecoolerliauditore]

I... cannot agree less, if I'm totally honest.

For the starters, the team-ups this season I'd argue aren't any more unexpected than any other season. In fact, most of the discussion following episode 1 was regarding the repeat team-ups of dynamics we'd seen dominate previous seasons -- tuff guys (ethubs, team BEST/TIES), GGGG (literally named after GGG), Renwood Mound (treebark) and, while grumbo wasn't exactly the force of nature the previously mentioned groups were, they did previously team together in LL through the Southlanders.

This is not a bad thing, and most of us were very excited to see some of our favourite dynamics team up when episode 1 dropped, but they are definitely "what usually happens". I think the fact that Pearl explicitly made a community post about people saying "not them again" about her team says enough on its own.

The creators themselves also make more than just a handful of callbacks this season, I'd even say much more than usual. Bdubs referencing what happened between him and Tango in LL, even including a clip, Scott directly saying Pearl villainizes him for DL, Gem and Pearl referencing the end of SL and murder camel, Cleo I don't think directly mentions LL but her calling Bigb untrustworthy and bringing up "grudges" certainly feels like it's carried over from the Fairy Fort, Scar literally ends his series IN SL, etc.

(^ just saw your additional reply to another set of tags re: this. I think it really comes down to a matter of opinion what constitutes as a callback vs a "continuation", I personally don't see a difference. Every "storyline" is interpreted anyway. Although I will say Pearl at least very much came off to me as purposefully trying to tell a story, judging by her continued dedication to her character as well as literal mention that she had "plans" early on in the series)

I don't think? Many of us expected the CCs to follow the same plotlines we saw, in fact most people I know are the types who would they much rather not over-reference fandom.

The dissonance between the series and the fandom's interpretation of it has always existed -- that post where fanon is depicted as liberty leading the people and the actual series is a scooby doo screenshot comes to mind.

If the series getting too goofy for the fandom's angstier tastes was an issue, I don't think it would've formed in the first place at all, 3L was distinctly unserious right from the get-go. I don't think anything in WL is any goofier or more """out of character""" compared to say. the Clocker family shenanigans during LimL (ethubs shippers certainly weren't leaving en masse when they decided they were father and son) or Martyn's property-value-decreasing heart house in DL or any of the many sillier final deaths -- one of the permadeaths I saw spawning the most angsty fanart/fics was Jimmy in LimL who did not have the most. dramatic exist lmao.

I'm not asking for everyone to have purposeful, narratively compelling storylines. I'm not asking for dramatic, heart-touching performances. I certainly am not "crushed" by the "realization" the CCs care less for the dramatics. I've always seen that as the fandom's job, to work with what we get, and to put it simply, I felt disappointed with what we got which felt to me forced and uncomfortable to watch at points.

And that's great that you liked WL! ALOT of people liked WL! It's not objectively incorrect to like WL!

But I do think it's a bit. troubling to me that we've been observing a shift in Grian's approach to the life series since SL and now we're turning it around and saying it's the fandoms fault for being too invested in the wrong way, or blaming the disappointment we feel on our own investment in the series rather than the fact that the series is very clearly making an active decision to move away from its roots and thus what made a lot of people like it in the first place (which is -- once again -- fine and good, just disappointing if you're one of said people it's moving away from).

And if I'm totally honest I do feel a bit? peeved that we are on my non-maintagged vent post where I talk about moving on from one of my favourite things. I understand you somehow happened upon it but I'm not here to convince people WL was objectively bad, I'm just a bit sad.

on one hand, very glad my suspicions of burnout and gimmicks as a result of fear of losing viewership were wrong at least as far as we know. im glad the CCs are having fun and their enjoyment is being prioritized, even if i am still not entirely convinced everyone's on the same page.

on the other hand, it's melancholic but this is pretty much the nail in the coffin in me having any interest left in future installments of the series. for those of you concerned: I am forever haunted by my brain diseases and will be continuing to post, write and draw 3L - SL for the rest of my forseeable life (plus completely disconnecting from any need I feel to interact with WL and beyond leaves me with more time to work on. certain larger scale projects I have had plans for)

i respect grians decision-making and he would know better than me how to run a youtube series, however I do question how much of an oxymoron it is to not care about viewer feedback for a youtube series run on viewership (and when so many of the recent behind the scenes decisions we've been privy to - such as Scar and Grian's hesitancy to team up based on comments calling them "boring" -- imply the opposite regarding the cast's mindset). it makes me concerned for the longevity of the series going forward, since those not happy with the direction that I've seen have all been very passionate and old fans, but I've also seen an equal if not louder support for this season, so I digress.

Part of me wonders how much of the "we want last life 2" sentiment (<-- something I've previously spoken about how I don't agree with) the cast has been exposed to, since it felt strange to me that it was even bought up. I have had a thought about this and the consequences of "don't maintag your negativity" e.g. the reasonable people know to hide their critical posts, and what that leaves a creator with are the unreasonable people, and if it's only that feedback that gets processed, then inevitably things tend to go in weird directions. Were any of us actually "tired" of Desert Duo interacting? Were any of us mad at Gem for killing Grian in SL?

It's frustrating to see crit posts get flagged down with accusations of disrespecting or attacking the CCs, or "we don't want you here anyway, just leave," when myself and all the people I've spoken to being not avid haters but rabid fans who feel frustrated and actively want to continue liking the series. Not to mention most of the people also being active members of the fandom ontop of that -- we claim that fanart is important and makes the series even more special than it already is, yet people seem more than happy to sacrifice that just for the sake of not seeing critical opinions.

t-shirt that says blah blah blah. but I reserve the right of feeling disappointed.

[loveofafangirl]

Remembering

[Baron Zemo Masterlist] [Marvel Masterlist]

Pairing: Baron Zemo x Reader/You  (no gender, race or body type described)

Synopsis: You awake to the sounds of Zemo suffering a nightmare. *Hurt/Comfort*

Word Count: < 900

TW: mentions of previous character death/death of a child

A/N: This was supposed to be a fluffy short drabble, but it ended up being angstier than I intended. Sorry! Zemo needs all the comfort/care!

A low murmur pulls you from your slumber. The room is dark, except for the faint moonlight attempting to peek in from the top of the curtains. 

You rub your eyes, still groggy with sleep, when you hear the sound once more.

You prop yourself up on your elbow and tap your phone. It illuminates the space around you, the time reading 1:34 a.m. You shift toward him. Your heart grows heavy; even in the dim glow of your phone, you can make out the tortured expression contorting his face. 

His moan turns soft, closer to a sob. You tenderly brush his hair away from his face.

"Shh—" You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It's just a dream."

His hand lashes out, grabbing your wrist and pulling it tightly, his features riddled with fear.

"It's just me," you offer tenderly. "It was only a nightmare."

His eyes scan the room, his face flashes with relief as the visions fade away. The comfort of your home comes into focus. "Apologies." He releases you immediately. "I didn't mean—"

"I know." You gingerly stroke his cheek. "It's okay."

"It's not." He covers his face, massaging the bridge of his nose and swollen eyes. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His lips press together tightly as he shifts his head to the side. 

You wonder what tonight's terror brought. He didn't always want to talk about it. Most of the time, he didn't. However, as your relationship grew, so did what he shared. 

His past was filled with more ghosts than any one man should have to endure. Many times, the nightmares were reminders of the day he lost everything. Others, memories of all he had done in their name under the belief that his ends justified the means to avenge their death and bring those responsible to what he deemed justice. Lately, some had even been of his time in the military and EKO Scorpion operations. You wondered if his missions with the Thunderbolts hadn't reawakened those memories. 

You rest your hand on his arm, your thumb caressing soft, soothing circles. "Can I do anything?" You attempt to nuzzle closer. 

"I'm fine." He rolled away from you, choosing to hold his pain alone.

You contemplate for a moment, wanting to help without overstepping. You shift alongside him, pressing your body flush against his back. You wrap your arms around him, holding him as you tangled your legs together. You worry he might protest to the care, but he doesn't. 

After a minute, he leans back, relaxing into you, allowing himself to be enveloped in your warmth.

You rest your head on his shoulder, letting him know he's not alone.

"It was about Carl." His voice breaks at his son's name, and his body tenses.

You stay silent, just holding him, giving him the space to offer more if he wanted.

He hugs your arms closer to his chest, leaning further into the safety of your embrace.

"We were playing in this little park in our town. Laughing—" he paused, his face tightening. "His laughter was the sweetest sound you could hear." 

He is quiet for a while, and you wonder if he is replaying that beautiful melody in his mind.

"He ran ahead across the green grass. 'Come, catch me, Papa!' he called with that innocent smile. His hand held out, waiting for me to catch up and take it. But, when I reach for him, every time—" he swallows hard. "It's too late. The ground consumes him and all that is around us until only I remain." 

You press a kiss on the back of his shoulder. "I know it's hard." Your lips brush tenderly over his flesh again, the heat of your words linger. "Close your eyes." Sensing his resistance, you hug him tighter. "Close your eyes and go back to the park. Remember that day. Tell me about the time you shared there. Focus on remembering the true memory. Carl is running and then—"

"I chase after him," he begins again solemnly. "I let him run ahead. He cheers in victory, his little arms pumping out excitedly. Then, I sprint forward at the last moment drawing him up into my arms."

You nod quietly against his shoulder, encouraging him to continue. You can almost hear the smile in his tone as the memory builds.

"We spin around and around until we're dizzy with laughter. I brush his hair back; his eyes still shine with joy and wonder. I hold him in my arms—my precious boy."

"He's safe now," you whisper, repressing your own tears. "Hold on to that. Hold on to the good. He'd want that for you. Keep remembering those moments, even when they hurt, because they keep him alive. He lives on in you." 

He holds your hand a little tighter as he lets the memory linger. 

You brush your lips over his shoulder and neck, leaving a faint trail of tender kisses. You bury your nose in the back of his neck, listening to the sounds of his breathing. You whisper softly in his ear every now and then until you both eventually fall back to sleep. Your arms remain around him throughout the night, protecting him from himself and the ghosts that wish to haunt him.

Marvel Perma(til the end of the line): @the-soot-sprite​​​​; @fandomxreaders ;  @moonstuffsteve​​​

Zemo tags: @montypythonsholysnail​​​​ ; @killsandthrills​​​​ ; @noavengers​​​​ ; ​@nalabarnes1031 ; @trelaney​​​ ; @willowtheewisp​​ ; @marchingicenotes7

[simping-hours-are-24-7]

A Deal to Save What You Have Lost

After the Fall of MC, Mammon is hoping that Lucifer will come help him. But someone else arrives and offers a deal to save what he is losing.

(Mammon x GN!MC, Diavolo x GN!MC)

TW: Heavy angst, forced relationship, elements of non-con, minor descriptions of gore

An alternative (angstier) ending for the fic, Promise That You'll Fall for Me? (tagging @sevendeadlymorons bc you were the one who kinda made it well known and @cherryjkj who asked for a part 2. Not exactly a continuation, but I hope this suffice! also thank you @beepboop0987 for helping me out with this) AO3 Link

Mammon catches their shaky hand in his own, clasping it tightly. “MC, don’t move. Lucifer… Help will come I promise. Please MC, please” he said brokenly, tears now dripping off his face and landing on theirs. “Please hold on just a bit longer.”

MC shook their head, or tried to before groaning, their face and body twisting into pain. Eventually, their body relaxed only somewhat as they met Mammon’s blue eyes through a squinted eye. A shaky grin stretches across their face, “Hey Mammon… looks like I kept my promise.” Another groan escapes them as their face scrunches up again, “Mammon, it hurts…it hurts so much.”

“I know MC, I know.” He whispers out. “Lucifer will come. I promise. He’ll...He’ll help us. So hang on just a bit longer.”

“Oh? This is a rather familiar scene, isn’t it Barbatos?” A deep voice mused above the two lovers. Mammon’s head snaps up and locks eyes with the golden gaze of the Prince.

“Quite familiar indeed. Although to be frank, I didn’t predict this would happen.” Barbatos responds, a placid smile on his face. It pisses Mammon off seeing the butler smile all while MC is suffering beneath him. He wants to tear the smug demon to shreds, but he can’t. Not with MC still struggling to catch their breath without choking. The Avatar glances down at MC and squeezes their hand.

“Help them,” he says weakly, his voice cracking slightly. Now Mammon knew he wasn’t always the sharpest crayon in the box, but he knew shit, important shit. After The Attic Incident, he confronted Lucifer about what he, MC, and Diavolo revealed about Lillith, or at least what little they told everyone else. It took a bit more effort than planned, but Lucifer caved. He spoke of his oath to Lord Diavolo, the promise he made. He clears his throat and stares into Diavolo’s strangely glowing eyes, “I’ll make a deal with you like you did with Lucifer, I’ll do anything. Just help them.”

At the word “anything” Diavolo’s relaxed face shifts into something akin to shock. “Ho? So you know about me and Lucifer’s agreement then. And yet you’ll swear an oath with me?”

Mammon’s eyes flicker down to MC’s barely open ones. He can feel something dark growing within them eating away the last bits of holy energy, the kind of darkness he's grown familiar with for the past millennium. Leaning down, he rests his forehead against theirs, “MC don’t worry, I’m going to help you, I promise you.”

He can feel MC frantically squeezing his hand as if to stop him and hear their weak protests, but he ignores them to look straight into the prince’s still glowing eyes. “I’ll do it, I’ll swear absolute loyalty to you, Prince Diavolo, on my name as Mammon, the Avatar of Greed. In exchange, help MC. They're already halfway to becoming a demon, isn't there something you could do to help them?"

Diavolo's head cocks to the side, "There is. Luckily for you two, not only am I rather fond of our dear MC, they are already halfway to becoming a demon and they still have their pacts with you brothers scarred into their soul." The Prince shakes his head. "I won't ask you the same I asked of Lucifer. As I have said, I am rather fond of them myself. How’s this for a deal Mammon, the second-born, Avatar of Greed? I do what you ask and turn our dear MC into a proper demon with just as much strength as you brothers. However, I take MC as my consort. After all, they’ve been the key to the success of my exchange problem. And where else will we ever meet someone who has been of all Three Realms? But-”

“But what?!” Mammon growls out and pulls the broken, but slowly corrupting form of MC closer to him, still ignoring their weak protests. “What more do you want?! You’re already taking away MC from me!” He can feel his true form boiling under his skin, aching to come out and take MC away, to keep his dearest treasure away from the thief who’s trying to steal away his heart. “You already have my brother, why do you need MC? They’re MINE!”

Diavolo just sighs like a parent watching an unruly child throw a tantrum. It pisses Mammon even more. “Enough Mammon, you didn’t let me finish.” He breaks into a smile, but there is nothing like the kind-hearted demon behind it. It’s sharp and calculating with a slight tinge of amusement, as if eagerly waiting to see what will happen next. “I am already well aware of your feelings for each other. I’m also near certain that their Fall has something to do with you as well. So this will be the deal, Mammon, I use the infernal magic fueling the pacts with you brothers as a way to help their transformation and take them in as my consort. However,” he emphasizes, “I’ll allow you two to be… close shall we say. How’s this? You can be their paramour as long as you swear to never steal away MC from me or the Throne, I’ll do all that I promised.” The prince lets out a hearty laugh, “Quite honestly Mammon you get quite a lot out of this, so what you say Mammon, do we have a deal?”

He stares at the prince’s outreached hand and down to MC. Their eyes have rolled back into their head, probably passed out to pain during his “conversation” with the Prince. He can even see the black horns begin to force its way out from their skull, no longer bleeding gold, but instead a pitch-black tar. And he thinks; either way he’s going to lose them, either to death or to Diavolo. Something within him says just to keep them with him for eternity. They wouldn’t be the first dead body kept within the House. But he can’t. He can’t let MC, the holder of his heart and the only one he truly loved die. Even if it means to let them go.

He leans down and softly kisses MC’s bloody forehead, ignoring the slight sting of both holy and unholy blood left on his lips. “Everything will be alright, I promise.” He whispers, before turning his face up to face Diavolo and plasters a cocky grin on his face. Fake, it feels fake as all hell, but he can’t crack. He’s selling his heart away and one day he’ll get it back, even if he has to steal it away. Clasping his blood-stained hand into the Prince’s, “You have a deal, Lord Diavolo. But don’t go whining about a broken deal if MC elopes with me in the end.”

Diavolo’s grin is just as fake and sharp as his and as he shakes the Avatar’s hand a cloud of Infernal magic swirls around them. “We shall see Mammon. We shall see.”

Previous | Next | M.List | AO3

[queen-ofsunflowers]

DadWorth AU: Part 3 (Justice For All)

Justice for All has to be one of the angstier parts of this AU, right up there with some ideas I have for Apollo Justice. Especially considering the whole Miles “chooses death” thing. So, let’s dive into it!

< Part 2 | Part 4 >

Reunion, and Turnabout

Things fast forward a couple of months after the end of Rise from the Ashes. Gumshoe’s been taking care of Kay since Miles kind of fucked off. He’s been doing his best, and so are Sebastian and Klavier -- who have been trying to cheer up their third musketeer ever since they found out what happened. But Kay is miserable.

So, now summer break is here for her, Gumshoe decides to take her out to the mountains for the day to get out in nature and hopefully get her mind off of things. Even if it is for a little while.

However, that plan is totally ruined when he gets a call about a murder nearby. He’s the only detective in the area, so they have to go down to Kurain Village to check it out. And that’s where they run into Phoenix for the first time since the end of Rise. Both he and Kay are not doing well in the aftermath of that case, and neither are really sure what to do around each other. Needless to say, the whole interaction is awkward.

Gumshoe does not pick up on this. He asks Phoenix if he could keep an eye on Kay while he takes care of the investigation. After some hesitation and deliberation, Phoenix agrees. So Kay becomes his partner button and Phoenix finally get to interact one-on-one with each other during the investigation for Reunion.

This is the first time they get to do this, since they were either with Maya or Ema on previous cases. It’s still a bit awkward, but when Phoenix finds out that she’s studying to be a defense attorney, things get a little bit easier as they find common ground.

Phoenix unknowingly starting to settle into a mentor role? Yes.

Kay is super turned off by Morgan Fey (getting chills up her spine and a faint memory of Dahlia Hawthorne -- she saw the Fawles trial. Phoenix also gets the same vibes from her.) And is surprisingly good with Pearl.

Her reaction to learning that Franziska is the prosecutor for this case catches Phoenix’s attention. Kay hasn’t heard from Franziska outside of a few text messages to check in on her over the past few months, so the fact that she’s in the country and Kay’s only finding out about it now makes her wonder what’s going on.

Kay goes to meet with Maya at the detention center with Phoenix, and kind of gets overly excited when she sees that Maya is channeling Mia because if you remember, she looked up Mia. Mia was an idol for her. So getting to meet her -- even if it is through spirit channeling -- is the highlight of her week.

And then we get to the trial. Phoenix asks Kay if she wants to stand co-counsel and Kay immediately jumps at the chance to say yes. So this is technically her first trial (she’s excited for it, but a little bit sad that Miles isn’t there to see her). Franziska, on the other hand, is surprised that Kay is standing at the defense’s bench with Phoenix Wright, leading to a lot of things including seeing Kay as a traitor (reason why will be explained later.)

So, Kay stands in for Pearl as co-counsel. As a result, her spirit channeling abilities are not revealed until much later. In the second trial day, she’s not present due to Gumshoe’s intervention and keeping her busy (something which Pearl agrees to so long as Kay and Phoenix get Maya a Not Guilty).

The investigation moments are full of small bonding moments between Phoenix and Kay as they get to know each other a bit better.

So, Team Wright-Faraday get a Not Guilty verdict as promised. Kay’s super proud of herself for managing to do this and it puts her on cloud nine. Franziska only believes that Phoenix won because he had a semi-competent co-counsel with him (Aunt Fran starting to show that she’s proud of Kay a little bit, but is still incredibly pissed that she lost.) Overall, she isn’t sure how to feel about Kay in that moment, and it all comes down to one simple reason:

This is the first time Kay has smiled in months. Everyone who knows her is relieved to see it back.

After the case is closed, Maya does thank Kay for helping and Kay in return does try to cheer her up after the whole “morgan stabbed maya in the back” thing starts to settle in. Am I saying Maya and Kay friendship? Maya and Kay friendship. It starts here.

So, things are starting to look a little bit better for Kay.

The Lost Turnabout

It’s not... Kay’s not involved in this one. Teenage shenanigans happen here as the new school year at Themis starts up.

The first day of school is always pretty easy, but it gets pretty depressing for Kay when one of her professors decides a good idea to break the ice by talking about some of the more ridiculous things that have happened in court cases. It gets the class laughing, and isn’t a bad idea...

Unfortunately for Kay, though, the professor also brings up a certain defense attorney cross-examining a parrot. The memory of that trial brings up a whole lot of feelings for Kay and she just kind of falls quiet for the rest of the day.

But luckily, Klavier and Sebastian have known Kay for a year now, and they realize something’s wrong. So they (primarily Klavier, since he instigates the whole thing) decide to do something about it and distract her. Here is where teenage shenanigans come about.

Just wholesome fun with what is slowly becoming a favorite chaotic trio that ends with everyone collapsed on a couch with an old movie playing in the background. ...and possibly a few appearances from other characters. Who knows?

Kay only finds out about Phoenix’s trial after the fact from Maya, and she’s not sure whether to be impressed that Phoenix managed to do all that with amnesia or laugh about it. She decides to do both.

Turnabout Big Top

It all starts with Phoenix going from ace attorney to ace babysitter as he’s in charge of four teenagers and one small child. Over the past few months, he’s gotten acquainted with Klavier and Sebastian as well, especially after the trio used the Wright & Co. Law Offices as their own personal hangout spot to get homework done and hide out when needed (thank you Kay).

The only reason Kay is brought on as co-counsel for this case is because a: its winter break so she doesn’t have school to worry about and b: the time frame is the same as when Miles was arrested the year prior. If Phoenix is having a rough time, then so is Kay. Especially since this will also be her first birthday since the whole incident. She’s also at Wright & Co. for the same reason when Maya calls up with the case.

This case is not the best distraction for Kay, but at least its something. Lesson learned: as a lawyer, you gotta take the good with the frustrating. Things get worse with Franziska prosecuting again. Kay still doesn’t get what’s up with her and why she’s still getting called a traitor.

The boys are also in on this case because why not, though they don’t stand as co-counsel but rather just help with the investigation. Because we all know that Kristoph and Blaise wouldn’t agree to them standing on the defense’s side, one more than the other.

Kay openly admitting to getting a headache while trying to figure out what the heck is actually going on during the first trial day. She grew up with the Master of Logic himself, so trying to make sense of this without all the information is making her head run in circles. But she’s not going to give up.

It’s revealed when Franziska confronts Phoenix & Co. outside of the lodging house later that day that the reason Franziska calls Kay a traitor is that she deliberately is siding with the man responsible for Miles’s “death”, something that she never thought Kay would do.

Kay never blames Phoenix for what happened to Miles. She mostly blames Gant (and von Karma somewhat) for it. They were the ones who pushed him, not Phoenix. So, when Franziska openly blames Phoenix for what happened, Kay gets pretty pissed. 

When Phoenix and Maya continue their investigation, Kay goes to confront Franziska on that matter and just goes off. Months of bottled up emotions just kind of explode outward, and Franziska is the unfortunate target of it all. This blow-up is also the first time that Kay refers to Miles as her dad. Which hits pretty hard. Franziska starts regretting a few choices she’s made today. Klavier and Sebastian pull her away as she starts to break down.

So they just... let her cry it out in the circus’s cafeteria. They end up being the ones who find out about the incident with the lion (once Kay’s calmed down) rather that Phoenix and Maya. The story has them racing over to them, catching the duo just as they’re about to enter Acro’s room and things go about pretty much the same way they do canonically from there.

The next day is a bit hard, and its easy to pick up on the tension between Kay and Franziska here. Taking a page out of the anime, Kay, Klavier, a reluctant Sebastian and Maya recreating the crime for the entire court. She does feel bad about having to indict Acro, though, due to the circumstances surrounding everything.

Kay does a pretty good job, something which Gumshoe relays as a message to her, at the end of the trial, much to her surprise. Who else would be proud of her is something that she wants to know.

Meanwhile, Miles Edgeworth wonders how he’s going to tell his daughter that he’s still alive upon his return to the country. (and yes, he was the one who told gumshoe to tell kay that he was proud of her)

Farewell, My Turnabout

So, Kay at this point still doesn’t know that Miles is alive. He wants to get everything settled before he makes any grand reveals to anyone. He’s also still trying to figure out how to do it since that wasn’t supposed to happen. Kay wasn’t supposed to think he was dead. He told her that he was leaving, sure, but Kay was also half-asleep when he did. So, misunderstandings~

Meanwhile, Phoenix takes the girls (Maya, Pearl and Kay) to the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix. Kay’s gotten decently close to the members of Wright & Co. over the past few months, that much is clear by now.

Kay gets upset about Corrida’s murder because ya know. Jammin’ Ninja fan. She hopes that Engrade gets locked away for doing it. Maya thinks she just doesn’t like the Nickel Samurai, which isn’t that far off. Kay just doesn’t like Engarde thanks to reading Klavier’s tabloid magazines. She never gets to explain the contents of those magazines, though. Phoenix finds out about them later.

Things take a sharp turn when Maya is called to the front desk to answer her “call”. Kay goes with Maya because ya know. Buddy system. (”girls don’t let each other go anywhere alone, nick!” “*sigh* i will never understand teenagers...”)  i think. you know. where this about to go--

So, yeah. Kay gets kidnapped alongside Maya. She puts up a pretty decent fight against de Killer (look at the people she was around growing up, Kay probably does know a little self-defense), but in the end, she still gets ‘napped. And so, Phoenix has to defend Engarde or the two girls will “disappear”.

Things are made worse, as Phoenix is accosted by two teenage boys who can’t get in touch with their third musketeer who didn’t show up for school that day. He’s just trying to do his job, but Klavier and Sebastian are really stubborn and will not leave him alone.

And everything gets worse when Miles makes his grand revival. And then is made the prosecutor for this case. So, Phoenix is not having a very good week at all.

Phoenix and Gumshoe are doing the best to keep the fact that the girls are being held hostage from Edgeworth and the boys. Emphasis on try. All three know that there’s something going on, but they can’t figure out what.

Meanwhile, Kay and Maya are in a wine cellar. Kay has tried several times to break down the door, but it hasn’t worked. de Killer took their phones, so they have no way of contacting the outside. They’re screwed unless they can escape.

Maya realizes that they do have a way to contact the outside and uses her spirit channeling powers to contact Mia, and with Kay’s help manages to explain what’s going on and giving a message to Mia to give to Phoenix.

So, Pearl finally reveals her spirit channeling powers. It freaks Phoenix out at first, but he gets over it quickly because at this point, he’s kind of used to Fey Family Weirdness.

The first part of the trial goes on as pretty much the same as it did before. Afterwards, Phoenix does his best to keep the fact that the girls are kidnapped from Miles because he’s gonna flip the fuck out. And he fails. And Miles kind of does flip out.

So, de Killer and Engarde (more so de Killer because he did his research, he knows the connection with Kay that Edgeworth has) have two pawns to work with and dangle over both the prosecution and defense. And now Edgeworth has two assistants on his side: Sebastian and Klavier, who don’t want to see Kay hurt. However, as future prosecutors, they can’t do much to help Phoenix. So, they help out with the investigation (and using the excuse as this being extra credit for anyone who asks why there are two teenagers here.)

On the other side, Maya and Kay break out of the room they were locked in thanks to a card Maya finds. Things go about as well as they do canonically, but with more struggle. Kay makes a fucking mess trying to defend herself and Maya from de Killer, which will later show the police that something definitely went down here (and concerning the heck out of a good handful of people in the process).

Kay may not know the truth about the Yatagarasu yet, but she sure is acting like the Yatagarasu.

The investigation goes about as well as you expect it to. Klavier and Sebastian are doing their best, but they can’t do much since they’re still only students. And Miles is worried as hell for Kay and ends up wanting to tear Engarde apart. Klavier is right to not like Engarde, as was Kay earlier.

When the trial starts up again, you have both the prosecution, the defense and a few members of the gallery nervous as hell. Gumshoe is doing his best to find the girls, but Miles and Phoenix still need to stall for time.

They do their best, but things are going about as well as they do canonically with Edgeworth being more on edge due to Kay being in danger. And the last time he saw her was when he left. So, he wants to be able to reconcile with her.

Things go on much like they do in canon. The note, Gumshoe’s accident, etc. Mia’s with Kay, doing her best to help, but she’s not sure what more she can do because the girls are weak and tired from being held captive for so long.

More worry on both parts.

When de Killer threatens to kill Maya and Kay when Edgeworth and Phoenix press him and try to get more time, Miles is also there to beg him to leave them alone. This is also the first time that Miles openly refers to Kay as his daughter.

Not much is different there out. They manage to expose Engarde as the asshole that he is, the girls are released and Engarde is declared guilty.

The scene with Franziska at the airport and Phoenix giving Miles the whip takes place a bit earlier, as that’s where Miles goes first before going to meet with Kay. Because he’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to talk to Kay again.

Phoenix and the others meet Maya and Kay at the hospital (Kay and Maya were held captive without much food or water for about three days, and Kay has a few minor injuries from de Killer, so they do need medical attention). Maya has a tearful reunion with Mia (as channeled by Pearl), and Kay gets tackled by her friends on both sides.

And then Miles Edgeworth walks into the room a short while later and Kay does not know what to say. She thought that he was dead for over a year, and a lot of things start bubbling to the surface. She starts tearing up because she thought she would never see Miles again, and he with her.

As soon as he gets close enough, Kay hugs him and calls him stupid in a couple different ways. Miles accepts it and apologizes for making her worry. He promises not to vanish like that again, and returns the promise that Kay made in part 2: to not keep secrets from her again.

So, what they didn’t get at the end of part 2, Miles and Kay finally get at the end of JfA: a chance to actually rebuild and reconcile their relationship without anything getting in the way.

So Justice for All ends on a pretty good note.

That may be the end of Justice for All, but it’s not the end of the story. There are still more ripples to come and fun shenanigans.

[nattikay]

ASFHADJHFGAHGGK WAIT A MINUTE YOU'RE THE SAME PERSON, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ASFSADGFYAKGL HI :DDD small world!!! if I'd known I totally would've tagged you lol

I have actually read all three of your fics!! and even have them all bookmarked on Ao3 lol. They're very good!! I'll admit that I much prefer fluff over angst so sometimes I do skim over the angstier bits but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's just me. I loooooooooved the conversation between Neytiri and Mo'at your previous fic, I wished the scene had continued i want the details that emotional resolution when Jake returned with Toruk lolol 👀

Definitely looking forward to the next chapter of this one!! And if I ever doodle another scene from one of your fics I'll be sure to tag you here :D

[...] He presses a quick peck to her lips before crouching down until he’s level with her stomach. He leans forward and peppers kisses around her belly button, rubbing soothing circles against the extended skin with his hands. “And I missed you too, littlest one,” he whispers. “I wanna give the baby a kiss too!” Neteyam says, crowding against Jake to leave his own kiss on the curve of Neytiri’s belly. Jake laughs and scoots over, making room for the baby's big brother to show his love. Kiri shifts and leans into Neytiri’s side, causing Neytiri to wrap an arm around their daughter. Kiri places a hand on her mother’s belly and pats it gently as if reassuring the baby that she’s there and ready to be the best big sister possible. Lo’ak pushes himself under Jake’s arm and curls into his side – his little arms tight around Jake’s neck. He doesn’t offer to kiss or touch Neytiri’s belly. Out of all the kids, he’s the one struggling with the idea of a new sibling the most. Jake thinks it’s just because Lo’ak has been the baby for as long as he can remember and is afraid of his place in the family being usurped. Jake hopes that once the baby is born, Lo’ak will realize that he isn’t being replaced and grow to love his new sibling. [...]

-Chaos Theory by WriterInWhite

this scene was just sooooooooo cute, I had to draw it!! 😭 this is the kind of fic we need more of plz fandom im begging

[sonicgetsrawed]

Varian is devastated to realize that he has stopped growing and is only an inch taller than Rapunzel.

Pretty sure this took an angstier turn than was intended but I hope you enjoy!! 

Short

He knew one day it would happen. No one could grow forever. He just hadn’t expected to stop growing so soon.

“Measure me again.” Varian insisted, standing up as straight as possible.

“Varian, I’ve measured you five times already.” Rapunzel huffed, adding another identical line on top of the previous five, where the top of Varian’s head rested.

“That means there’s still room for error.” He countered, gesturing for Rapunzel to stand against the wall. She sighed, relenting, knowing there was no arguing once Varian set his mind to something. He lifted the pencil, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes slightly. “Take off your crown.”

“What?” She asked, confused by the sudden demand.

“Take off your crown, it could be adding height.” Varian clarified, waiting as Rapunzel huffed, but removed the crown nonetheless.

“This doesn’t make any sense!” Varian exclaimed, tossing the pencil aside, staring in defeat at the two thick black lines that would take numerous coats of paint to erase, exactly one inch between them.

“Hey, Var, it’s okay. Height doesn’t define you.” Rapunzel comforted, placing her crown back on her head.

“You don’t get it, it-“ Varian was cut off abruptly by Eugene slamming the door open, cupcake in hand.

“Hey sunshine!” He placed a quick kiss on her cheek before handing over the cupcake. “What are you and short stack up to today?”

Varian stormed from the room, not bothering to wait around for Rapunzel’s annoyed ‘Eugene’. He didn’t stop until he made it to the gardens, sitting on the steps and watching the sunset. He should’ve known it was only a matter of time before Rapunzel found him, sitting down next to him. She gently nudged him. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“I have a feeling you’ll get it out of me one way or another.” Varian commented, playfully rolling his eyes.

“I do have my ways.” Rapunzel chuckled, sliding him a cupcake. Varian took it, a small smile on his lips. He didn’t eat it just picked at the wrapper.

“Do you ever feel like everything you do is wrong?” He asked, avoiding looking at her. She didn’t say anything and for that he was grateful, not sure he’d be able to continue if she interrupted. “I just thought that this height thing, I could get right. Everything has always been not enough. Not tall enough. Not man enough. Not smart enough. Not good enough.”

“Var, I’ll tell you this as many times as you need to hear it.” Rapunzel started, placing two firm hands on his shoulders. “You are perfect, just the way you are. You will always be enough.”

He smiled, more genuine this time and leaned his head on her shoulder. “Thanks, Rapunzel.”

He knew this wouldn’t be the last time they had this conversation, it wasn’t even the first, but he knew she’d always be there for him no matter how many times he needed to hear it. She leaned her head against his, smiling into the sunset. “Anytime.”

[imaginedcreaderinsert]

Dumb girl — Dick Grayson x Reader x Jason Todd

ANGST with uncertain ending (bad, probably)

ANGST PROMPTS:

* I asked you if I was ever going to be enough. You hesitated.

* I spilled my heart out, how I felt about you. But then you laughed. And I just laughed along, tears prickling.

SUMMARY: You’re the cool girl, of course you still are. They love how simple things are when it comes to you, how you do not get bothered and laugh it aside, because how simple is that, really? The thing is you justify them even when you know how wrong it sounds; specially with the looks your friends give you. That’s the worst: being the dumb girl.

WORD COUNT: 2688.

A/N: THIS IS NOT a continuation to Cool girl, but rather an alternative prototype opposed to the “hopeful” ending of Cool girl. Seeing how popular the first part, I’m still working on it, as well as being very aware of the two asks resting on my inbox. I will get on them soon, but I had to write this tonight. It is personal, and I hope it can be read as so.

In case someone’s new and wondering about cool girl, I leave it here: COOL GIRL (Reader x Jason Todd x Dick Grayson). This fic does contain some allusions to Cool Girl, but again, it’s not a continuation and its previous reading it’s not necessary (though I will suggest taking a look if this is your type of fic, as that is angstier I believe!)

           You’re the cool girl, of course you still are. They love how simple things are when it comes to you, how you do not get bothered and laugh it aside, because how simple is that, really? The thing is you justify them even when you know how wrong it sounds; specially with the looks your friends give you. That’s the worst: being the dumb girl. But you are not dumb: you are intelligent. It’s just apparently easier to talk to guys when you dumb yourself down, when it shouldn’t because come on, it’s 2020 – but you don’t want to be alone, do you? That’s why you sometimes let them appear as more intelligent, even when you know what they know. Does that make sense? You hope you do, because it really has no equal measure when Grayson is climbing you up from the bed and making his way into your thighs. Those are the moments when you feel everything is worthy, when he worships you. He doesn’t love you, not necessarily, but you think he might.

           You kiss, hug and cuddle like you love each other. You sometimes would like that to happen with Jason, but you don’t talk anymore. He has a girl, a fuckgirl, and you are with Grayson, who undoubtedly seems to adore you as of tonight. That’s everything. His gentle looks, nudges, kisses in the neck and nape when he’s taking you from behind. Jason destroys you and Dick reconstructs you. You think he might be the one, he might really make you a whole and love you entirely, as you are, but then you remember he only chose you trying to drown his own loneliness, losing Babs again to someone else, someone better. Are you really settling down for the second best? She didn’t want it, and thus, you get the broken toy. But the thing is, Dick has never broken to you, he has been too perfect: has he not shown enough character shades, has he not confided in you enough? You know everything about him since he was twelve and you were seven, since you basically were introduced. So what does Barbara see in him that she can’t stand, that he abandons from time to time? Is it so exciting to be on and off? (You would know, you never reject his calls) And what is it in him that she sees that you can’t? He’s perfect. He’s gentle, he’s romantic, attentive enough; he’s funny, he cares (tries to) and asks. He always asks, and you adore him for it.

           Which is a big and enormous problem when you try to pull closer and he notices. The thing is, he always does, he’s too intelligent. But Dick has also thought about it, and the thing is that when a guy likes you, he will do anything to be with you. That is a universal truth. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have said so, he would have made it abundantly clear, maybe asking you out on a formal date to a fancy place (you almost cried of envy when you saw the two-years anniversary dinner date Dick prepared on social media for Barba. Warren hugged you); instead he either calls in some typical lazy takeout if you are hungry, or worst case scenario, he dresses up, insists on you doing the same (as tired as you are), almost in a hurry, and takes you into a fast food place. You hate them, but comfort food is comfort food when your heart bleeds after being held so tenderly, so close to his heart.

           There is a fight, and thus you wonder, is this the time? Dick takes you out a whole day and you feel like you think she feels. He doesn’t take your hand, but does funny things such as kissing your knuckles after bowing in an overexaggerated manner that makes you laugh until you are rolling in the grass, accompanied by him after you imitate him, in a lady-like way, and fake French posh accent. You both can be stupid like that, and you can even be more stupid than that believing it must mean something as he looks at you in your eyes and laughter dies.

           It’s the first time he kisses you in public and you smile. He never does that (save from the casual kiss in the cheek), and you don’t even notice he does that because there’s no one else. The thing is, he does. He just looks at you and then you are in his arms, melting and as vulnerable as you can be. Dick is the only one that looks at you like that, the one that has always been amiable (except when he had a bad day), polite (except those times where he chose Her before you) and caring (except when he had too many things in mind). And yes, maybe it’s not the best time, but you are twenty and in love, so you don’t really think much of it when it’s escapes your lips, as the orange light illuminates your face and makes you terribly beautiful and vulnerable as you confess everything that you’ve been holding

           —Could I ever be enough for you?—. His eyes don’t immediately catch up on what you are saying, maybe too entranced on your shining marbles as they penetrate what he thinks it’s his own soul. You are beautiful inside and out and that he cannot deny. But it slowly dawns onto him what you are really asking, and you become scared. You add: —. Could you get to love me like you love her?

           Only then he realizes how naïve he has been with you; how stupid and hurtful he has been all these years when you were chasing him, and he has been always waiting on Barbara on another station. He feels guilty, but what’s worse, he hesitates. He confidently opens his mouth but then closes it again, and you have hope: you shouldn’t, because only someone who’s sure on things says them without fear, but he is terribly afraid. Your relationship hangs on that simple question, and you still hope he will choose you, he will have your battered heart, your imperfect soul and your insecurities; you don’t love yourself and you hope he will, as he has with Her.

           But he doesn’t. He won’t.

           He says sorry and you cry. You had it coming, but still hoped for something different, is that so delusional, too dumb on your behalf?

…

           Jason drops his fuckgirl as soon as she catches feelings and you are there for him (like it’s a tragedy, like he needs the emotional support). He complains and you laugh all night long with him. It’s just like old times: beer, pizza and black and white movie marathon. This time you get to cuddle with him, and not a week later you are on that same sofa fucking, devouring each other like it’s your last night.

           It’s a bit like pushing the button “play” after a long time paused; the passion is still there and it’s like that night that you left with a bitter “it’s okay” never happened (tears on your eyes in his lift, alone on your way back home when he came in for the very first time with that girl almost naked in his arms. You were nothing serious, and thus okay with it. But you were not). It’s always been like that, and you love (him) how he roughly presses his hand against your neck, how he leaves your head dizzy and makes you tremble like you are malleable putty in his hands. You say dirty things to each other while you do it, love never entering and that might be the red flag; but not this time when you want to forget Grayson’s betrayed and confused face (losing a long-time fuck buddy must hurt, you think). And well, Jason does the job, because two months in and you are his, absolutely his. It’s a bit different from before and that heals you. He asks you to stay and even if you don’t cuddle, he sometimes presses himself against you in the morning, searching for warmth (he’s always hot, just like you are, but still he needs you. And you need him). You press your forehead to his and he smiles, pushing you jokingly to a side and standing up quickly to make breakfast (he now sometimes cooks and that makes you glow).

           They are happy mornings. You eat pancakes with some cream, which you hate, you’ve hated all of your life – but you let him just because he sometimes covers adorably your nose with a bit of it just so that he can eat you off, kiss it better. You love that, love him being silly (love him, full stop). You tell yourself to not fall for it, but it becomes harder as Jason cycle starts: and it’s always been that way. When he picks you up after being apart for some time (aka not fucking), he’s always extra careful; he tries to hang onto you in a slightly clingy way – he asks who are you talking with when he perfectly knows it’s Dick (but this time it doesn’t happen, and he’s slightly happier; maybe he always knew). You try not to, really, but it becomes more and more difficult as the kisses get heavier, and you become closer. You’ve always confided in each other, but you start to actually tell him things about uni, your friends and – and he becomes bothered, yes, but he hears you out. You know it’s because he doesn’t follow, doesn’t understand really the purpose of that, but he tries to be nice at least.

           Until he doesn’t. Because that always happens again.

           You think it might be, as always, him fooling around with some girl and feeling uncomfortable about not knowing how to deal with you, how to tell you nicely how to fuck off (it never is that way, but he tries, you guess) – instead he tries to make you angry, hurt you, so that you can go by your own decision, leave him (even when you never do, probably never will). Or maybe he’s feeling trapped – as it always happens, when a man likes you, he will do anything in his power to be with you. But you haven’t learn that lesson yet, and so whenever Jason feels like you are purring back (in bed, kissing him slightly when you wake up, maybe even leaving small “I love you’s” in his lips) he scratches you back, slashing you deeply and making you bleed – just so that you can remember he’s not in love, without actually saying it. He always hurts you, and whatever hurtful thing he scratches back at your face stays in your head for days, remembering it; but this time it’s different.

           It’s subtle. And it hurts more. When he slashes your heart in you two you know that’s it, it’s direct, it’s clear in its intention, but when he doubts, when he is slowly moving away you notice him drifting apart. Calling him out does not help – he plays dumb and makes you feel stupid, but you are not stupid. Still, you give up and say “sorry” over text, heartbroken and fully aware that in a month from now you probably won’t be talking and he will have probably moved on.

           But the thing is, this random guy at a bar appears, and it hurts more than ever. You talk to him one night when Jason is too busy (you understand, you do not make him worry) and he keeps you company, pays a drink for you. You smile, gratefully, and you talk for a few hours: he’s nice enough, he subtly flirts, and you give in back, bashfully, as if being observed by Jason. You are not betraying him, you are not cheating, but it still feels like so. It’s nice to feel desire, and that’s why you give in for a while, laughing at his jokes and throwing back and forth some witty insults. You think, when you go back home that Jason might feel jealous, might show some affection (because that’ show toxically you think; “he might show me he cares”) – but you do not notice how similar they are until two nights after you cross paths with him in another bar and… They get on well.

           Jason and him really get on well. You feel left out, but don’t care much until they start to throw you sarcastic comments that borderline on hurtful. You feel hurt. And just for once, you decide to fight back, comfortable enough with the two of them: but you hurt him, the random stranger, and he defends himself.

           —Fuck no I didn’t say that. Jesus, you’re so hurt, you don’t have to try and put Jay against me.

           That gets you off guard because maybe the comment came off as too aggressive; you look for Jason for help, and as you are about to open your mouth he says:

           —Oh come on, (Y/N), I really like him, don’t fuck it up.

           And the way he says it it’s so… Tired of you. You are a bit taken back, specially when you notice he doesn’t have your back. Had he pleaded with his eyes you would have backed him whatever the argument might be – and he isn’t taking your side. Why isn’t he? It’s not a joke by the tone of their voices, and neither of them laugh, relieving you: instead it becomes tense and you are awkward, trying to keep the conversation going but never succeeding. They continue joking, like you are not there, with funny names and you feel like you don’t belong, which is probably the worst feeling of the world when Jason is all you can think about when you think on safe spaces or loyalty. He’s always been like that, and maybe it’s the beer, but-

           But that night you leave off early, and two hours later, in your pajamas, safe and sound in your room, you write him a long text.

           You tell him he hurt you. You tell him it hurt you how quickly he changed sides and how he shouldn’t have, how he should be by your side whatever the situation because you are by his all the time. You tell him you feel used by it: it’s not the first time. Whenevr Jason makes a new friend, as asocial as he is, he forgets you, and you feign ignorance, like you don’t get their jokes and you are dumb, laughing along but not really getting it (even when you do and it’s not funny). You tell him how much it hurt you because it probably means you love him – and yes, you do write that explicitly: “I love you, and that’s why I feel so bad right now. I wish you could have just sided with me, because had you asked, I would have done so in a heartbeat.” He’s not there, you know that, but still… “I know we are not on the same page, and we will probably never will, but I want you to take into account my feelings, how much I love you, how, if offered, I would take care of you”.

           You spill your heart out, transcribe even a poem you wrote on him one night, and he-he laughs when he sees the text. He says you’re too drunk, and that he loves you too and that he will see you at the movies on Saturday. You cry yourself to sleep, because after exposing yourself like that the only thing he does is laugh and change the subject, like it can’t be taken seriously, like it’s something so out of character that you can only fathom drunk. You think it over, in your bed, rolling incessantly on your bed and distraining your sheets until it’s a mess and you can’t sleep anymore:

           And then you laugh and nod.

           And you say you will be there.

           Like always.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Daring and the Duke. By Sarah MacLean. New York: Avon, 2020.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Bareknuckle Bastards #3

Summary: Grace Condry has spent a lifetime running from her past. Betrayed as a child by her only love and raised on the streets, she now hides in plain sight as queen of London’s darkest corners. Grace has a sharp mind and a powerful right hook and has never met an enemy she could not best, until the man she once loved returns. Single-minded and ruthless, Ewan, Duke of Marwick, has spent a decade searching for the woman he never stopped loving. A long-ago gamble may have lost her forever, but Ewan will go to any lengths to win Grace back… and make her his duchess. Reconciliation is the last thing Grace desires. Unable to forgive the past, she vows to take her revenge. But revenge requires keeping Ewan close, and soon her enemy seems to be something else altogether—something she can’t resist, even as he threatens the world she's built, the life she's claimed…and the heart she swore he'd never steal again.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: explicit sexual content, violence, blood, references to child abuse and maiming

Overview: There was only one book left in the Bareknuckle Bastards series so I thought “why not?” I was curious as to how MacLean would redeem the main antagonist of the first two books, and I rather liked Grace every time she showed up on the page. While there were some things I enjoyed, I would put this finale closer in quality to Brazen and the Beast than Wicked and the Wallflower. There wasn’t much to bind the two leads together aside from their past, in my opinion, and while MacLean attempts to tell a darker, angstier story, much of the plot felt empty and repetitive. Still, there were some nice nods to feminism and consent was always at the forefront, so I’m giving this book 3 stars.

Writing: MacLean’s prose isn’t radically different in Daring than it was in Brazen. It might be a little more serious, as the subject matter is definitely darker, but overall, it’s easy to get through and conveys MacLean’s ideas clearly. My only major complaint is that Daring felt more slow-paced than its prequels, perhaps because we got a lot of filler and repetition of the same scene but from different perspectives. Granted, some of this happens in the previous books, but because Daring isn’t largely focused on something external (like a business rivalry or a power play with an antagonist), everything just seemed to drag.

Also like Brazen, I don’t think MacLean used her themes to the fullest extent. There were some interesting attempts, such as the story about Apollo and the recurring mask motif, but there were also some duds, like the commentary about people being mad that Victoria was queen because she was a woman (Victoria was not a good symbol of “girl power,” in my opinion). While any one of these could have worked, they didn’t have as heavy of an impact as the themes in Wicked.

I also think MacLean held back on giving her characters unique quirks that served as metaphors; while Grace does have a tattoo that has some significance, it didn’t have sustained presence like Felicity’s lockpicking or Whit’s two watches. As a result, Daring felt the most thematically flat of the three books, and I wish as much care was put into both Brazen and Daring as was in Wicked.

Plot: Aside from the romance, most of the plot of this book revolves around Ewan’s redemption and a subtle concern over the increased frequency of raids on houses of ill repute. To be honest, I think this book started out rather well; Grace rescues Ewan from the explosion that happed at the end of Brazen, and their initial reunion and confrontation was fairly angsty. From there, though, I felt like the plot started to get repetitive and had no shape. Devil and Whit would threaten to beat up Ewan, Ewan would make some grand gesture (like hosting a ball or ask to help Covent Garden in a way), Grace would be attracted to that gesture, they’d have some intimate moment, Grace would then get nervous and run, only for the cycle to start over. While I did like the ways in which Ewan tried to earn forgiveness by helping Covent Garden, there wasn’t a whole lot of tension in these scenes aside from the threat of a brawl. I also didn’t feel like the subplot about Grace’s bordello was prominent enough or thematically related enough to have an impact; the bordello raids seemed to be a commentary about women and power, but it fell flat for me because Ewan didn’t really have to struggle with seeing Grace as an equal or as someone with power in her own right. He’s mostly already there, so the commentary felt rather hollow.

I think I would have much rather seen a plot with stronger parallels to the romance or one with more dramatic references to the characters’ pasts. Maybe Ewan’s secret could have been at risk throughout the book, and Grace has to decide what to do (which could have made for an interesting final showdown, if Ewan’s true identity had been discovered). Getting out of that pickle seems like a much more interesting plot than the empty gestures towards women in power that we got.

Characters: I liked Grace in Wicked, so I was happy that she got her own story in Daring. She’s a smart businesswoman with an intelligence network of almost all women, and I love the pleasure she takes in roaming the rooftops and dressing in bold colors. I also really love the friendships she has with her lieutenants at the bordello, and the sibling banter between her and Devil and Whit. However, my admiration from her cooled whenever she would engage in her back-ad-forth with Ewan. She never seemed to know what she wanted and was fairly flighty, which is understandable to an extent but irritating when there isn’t a strong plot or clear emotional progression to back it up. I always felt like Grace was stagnating and never really evolving, and her main character flaw was just to get over her past and hesitation about Ewan’s title. I wanted her to have something more, like an insecurity that Ewan could help her with.

Ewan, for his part, is somewhat interesting in that he was a villain in previous books. I liked the angst he brought to the story as well as the heartbreak when we finally learn why he made certain choices in his past, but other than that, he didn’t really have an exciting emotional arc. After the first scene, Ewan leaves London for a year to make himself a better man worthy of Grace, and when he returns, he seems to have finished growing and only needs the people around him to see it. I feel like we were cheated of seeing that growth happen on-page.

Side characters were fine and served their purpose. Devil and Whit were at their best when teasing Grace, but at their worst when talking about Ewan. I felt like they were always threatening to beat Ewan up but they never acted, which meant that their words felt hollow and their confrontations were useless. It would have been more interesting, in my opinion, if they had had more honest conversations with Ewan about their pasts so the angst was not just between Ewan and Grace but between the brothers as well. I wanted the brothers to struggle more with their emotions, rather than just think about punching one another.

Grace’s lieutenants, Veronique and Zeva, were fun when they were teasing Grace, but it also felt like they were there to relay information about the raids, which weren’t all that interesting. I liked that Grace was shown to have female friendships, and I liked that the lieutenants showed women in positions of power outside of a domestic setting, but ultimately, the raids just weren’t exciting enough to me to think of the lieutenants as much more than filler.

Romance: Based on the events from the previous two books, some readers may not find Ewan redeemable, so the quality of this romance will largely depend on what your personal threshold is. Personally, I was willing to give MacLean a shot, and while I do think she did everything she could to show that Ewan was trying to atone, I also don’t think she did enough to make the romance exciting. Grace and Ewan seemed to be mainly bound by their pasts, and though Ewan says he loves Grace for her boldness and power, it seemed all tell and no show. Part of the romance requires Ewan and Grace to learn who the other is now rather than try to recapture their childhoods, and I felt like not much of that happened outside of Grace just giving Ewan a tour of her bordello and telling stories about what happened to her after she fled with her brothers. I would have much rather had moments where the two bonded over some shared values - the laundry scene in Covent Garden kind of did that, but it was so dragged out and nothing was really built upon it, so I don’t think it had the intended effect.

I also don’t feel like Ewan and Grace grew within the romance very much, and by that I mean they didn’t help each other overcome some kind of character flaw. Ewan’s character development happened off-page, so most of his arc was about getting others to see that he had changed rather than changing before our eyes. Grace’s main barrier to the relationship was her past and her inability to trust, which would have been fine if all her reservations didn’t go out the window the moment she noticed Ewan’s muscles. It was somewhat exhausting to see her have an intimate moment with Ewan, insist that it was just this one time, then flee because they couldn’t be together (due to his title and her emotional hang-ups). The cycle would repeat, and it didn’t feel like each encounter built on the previous one. I think I would have liked to see a continuous evolution where the two learned who the other had become in the 20 years they were apart, uncovering truths along the way and building back trust rather than this back-and-forth of “we can’t be together” and “well, we can bang this one time but NO MORE after tonight.”

TL;DR: Despite including some delicious angst, Daring and the Duke ultimately relies on a cyclical romance and a lackluster plot, making this book a middling finale to the Bareknuckle Bastards series.

[ren-c-leyn]

Curse of the New Lands

 Fusion story time! This is one I’ve been wanting to write for a while now, and I’ve finally figured out how I want to tackle it!

 It’s made up of this prompt by @thewholekitandkabobble, this prompt by @humdrummoloch, these 1,2,3 prompts by @scandy-inspo, these 1,2 by @givethispromptatry, and these 1,2,3,4,5 by @thependragonwritersguild.

 Okay, some warnings, this is an angstier piece with deaths, a battle, and an ancient being that is done putting up with mortals’ crap. As usual, I didn’t go into a lot of detail on the gore, but there is blood and some wounds mentioned.

~

 I sat in the darkness of my cell. It had been days since I had been tossed in and no one was quite sure what to do with me. As far as any could tell, I had done no wrong, but none would believe my tale. And so I sat, waiting to retell my side of the story again. 

 The heavy metal door creaked open and was followed by the sounds of metal boots. I turned in my corner so I was facing the bars. To my shock, it was not another officer, nor some random small-town official type. No, the crowned prince of the empire himself had come to grace this grubby jail, flanked on either side by armed and armored royal guard.

 He stopped in front of the cell before looking back at the jailer.

 “This is the soldier?”

 “Yes, your highness,” she said stiffly.

 He gave a small nod before looking me in the eyes.

 “Leave us.”

 “Your highness, I...”

 He looked back at her.

 “That is an order.”

 She sighed before bowing. Then, she marched out, followed by the guard. The prince waited for them to leave before looking back to me.

 “I read through the reports of your previous interviews.... They said you lied.”

 “Worse. I told the truth.”

 He hummed.

 “We shall see about that.”

 His hands glowed as he cast a spell on me. Though I didn’t feel any different at the end of it, he seemed content.

 “Could you recite the tale once more for me? I would like to hear it spoken in your own words and not modified by anyone else.”

 I gave a nod.

 “Of course, Your highness. Where would you like me to begin?”

 “The day the legion left the outpost, for I have all of the details of the weeks prior to that confirmed and collaborated.”

 My head tipped into another nod. It took a moment to collect my thoughts and pull the memories I’d been trying to shove aside to mind. When I found myself on the verge of backing out, I cleared my throat and drug the words, one by one, out of my throat.

 “I had never believed those stories. You know, the ones they tell back in the homeland about this place. The new world holds ancient curses, they say. There’s monsters that would swallow dragons whole, I was told. Ancient beings that even gods would turn tail and run from, they whispered. But those were the kind of stories being bounced around as we began our march into the desert. The mood wasn’t calm, it was tense, fearful. None of us knew this land, none of us knew what we were getting into. All we had were the stories.”

 I shifted against the wall, trying to get something resembling comfort as I began to actually get into the tale.

 “Three days passed, and it was miserable. Freezing at night, burning during the day, all you ever wanted was water, but it was all rationed strictly. There was life everywhere, but not much you could eat outside of your rations, with everything else being spiny or poisonous. It was on that forth day, that forth day is when everything went to the hells.”

 The prince leaned forward slightly at this.

 “And what happened? What happened on that day?”

 My body felt like it was burning as the memories all flooded back. I tilted my head, trying to block out the ringing of clashing steel in my ears.

 “It was... quiet. There wasn’t animal sound in the morning that day. It was weird because, because I remember complaining about the insects. They love the morning and the night, you see. But it started to warm up, and nothing happened. No shadows, no howling monsters, the sun just rose and cast the sands in the most beautiful colors. I watched the sunrise, watched it all the way through til it started to get hot again. With the blazing sun overhead, temperature ever increasing; I said the words I thought I never would.And I lived to regret it. ‘This place is more beautiful than scary. I wouldn’t mind living here.’”

 I laughed, laughed as I repeated my own foolish, naive words.

 “The orcs put an end to that sentiment fairly quickly! We were ambushed at the foot of a lone mountain. Beautiful place, made up of a pale stone with actual greenery on it. But the battle below it was anything but. The orcs aren’t a stupid people, Your highness, they have brains to go with their brawn, but not much in the way of morals or fairness. We were being torn apart, figuratively and literally. By the time we were able to rally, a great deal of our number were already cut down.”

 “So it was the orcs that made the entire legion vanish?” he asked, though something in his tone told me that he didn’t believe it for a second.

 “No, Your highness, it was not the orcs, but what came after.”

 “Continue.”

 I gave him a nod, but stayed quiet for a moment. That sound, that sound made the entire prison feel cold. But I had to finish. I had gotten through this mad tale several times before, and I could handle one more go of it.

 “This is the part where people start calling me mad, or sun-touched. Perhaps I am, or perhaps those tales were more true than I had thought them. In either case, the battle was well underway when it happened, and we had just started driving the orcs back when soft bell chimed, overpowering the clash of metal against metal, and I turned to see a person float down to the battlefield. As they touched the ground a concussive ripple fanned out, knocking down every soldier, myself included. From the rocks I had landed in I watched the rest of the warriors struggle to stand. Another ripple forced them to the ground once more.”

 I cleared my throat again and tried to mimic the voice the best I could.

 “‘You dare squabble at the foot of my mountain?’ The figure’s voice rung out, clear as day, even from the edge of the battlefield, where I was laying. It wasn’t particularly loud, either, it just sounded like he was speaking to my face. It was even more unsettling when I realized... it was a small boy.”

 “A child?” the prince asked, eyes widening slightly.

 I guessed they hadn’t put that in the reports.

 “A boy,” I confirmed with a nod. “And the orcs were terrified of him. They all scrambled to their feet and started running, but the ground rippled again and knocked them all on their backsides. The orc leader shouted something in their native tongue to him, but I couldn’t tell you what it meant. A plea for mercy, maybe.... But whatever it was, it only seemed to anger the child. He growled something at all of us in orcish. As he did, the sands started stirring.”

 I paused for a moment, trying to sort out the mess of events in my head. It had all happened so quickly that there hadn’t been time to process it all. Even now, I couldn’t sort out the entire thing.

 “The general shouted for a retreat, and I think the orc leader did as well. Everyone from both sides of the battle started to crawl away.Some were getting to their feet without falling, but things were going dark. Now, you’d think we had enough. But even covered in blood, crawling on our knees, there was more to come. It started with the whine of wind, and the dust rose higher and higher. Blinding our vision. People, all around collapsed. And as the darkness dotted my vision, my feet giving in; I saw it. I saw a light more intense than the sun. The heat got more intense and people were screaming. Clouds of fire lingered above us and the voice of the child growled at us all again.”

 “What did he say?” the prince asked, now leaning against the bars of my cell.

 “Something about sacred grounds, a pact, and crimes. I don’t know, something about his voice was making my head fuzzy and making my vision blur. I didn’t know what to do, so I crawled. I crawled away from the battlefield in a random direction, leaving the screams and the darkness and the fire behind me. Mind you, I wasn’t the only one. Many were running and crawling, but the ground started pulsing again, knocking all of us for a couple of loops. Still, I kept going, trying not to listen to the screams and shouts.”

 I sighed heavily, sink down the wall a bit.

 “It was useless, though. When everything went quiet, I looked back, only seeing sandstorm, and looked forward only to see a white-robed figure in front of me. I looked up to meet the boy’s gaze and found myself frozen to the spot. The child had ancient eyes and a cold stare. In one hand was the most beautiful sheath I had ever seen, and a blade that went up to his chest was in the other.”

 “What happened then? How did you survive?”

 I looked the prince in the eyes, just staring for a moment.

 “I begged. I begged for my life.But it didn’t help me, it’s not what saved me. He just glared at me with so many years worth of anger and said ‘Do you believe you deserve mercy?” He tapped his sword’s sheath against the ground. “Do you honestly think I should spare you? That the world would be better if you still lived?’ “

 “And what did you say to him?” the prince asked, his voice quiet.

 “At first, I said nothing. What could I say? But then, the words just tore themselves out of my throat, almost against my will. I don’t know what I was thinking, maybe I am sun-touched, but I said ‘Do it. I know you’re going to, so just get it over with.’”

 He rose his eyebrows in surprise before eyeing me.

 “But he let you go?”

 I shook my head.

 “Not exactly. He did, in fact, bring the sword down to bear on me. Stabbed me in the back as I laid pitifully on the desert sands. Pretty sure the only thing that saved my life was that I inherited my grandfather’s Armor Rings and had enough brains to wear them at the time.”

 “That explains the wound and your survival, but what of the bodies?”

 I shrugged.

 “That... I cannot tell you. When I woke up, early morning, the sands all red from the light, I was half-buried in sand but still alive. I fought my way to my feet and looked all around, but everything was as smooth, quiet, and beautiful as it had been the morning before. I thought about calling out, seeing if anyone else had made it, but I was too afraid of the child’s wrath to make a noise. Instead, I started the journey back with what little supplies I still had on me.”

 The prince stared at me for a moment longer before nodding.

 “The spell has registered truthful the entire time, so I shall arrange your release.”

 “Thank you... Oh, and your highness.”

 “Yes?”

 “If you plan on staying in these lands long, start listening to the stories. They’re true, even the one that says you can hear the song of the wilderness when you’re wounded. Because the entire time I was limping and crawling back to here, the sand was laughing and singing in my ears.”

 He stared at me for a second before dipping his head into a nod.

 “I shall keep that in mind.”

 And with that, he left me to my memories.

~

Short story taglist:

@wemitodd, @greenwood-writes, @elkatheinkstained, @n1ghtcrwler, @writingiswilde, @say-no-to-negativity,  @dawnscribbles, @silvertalonwriteblr, @inspiring-prompts, @dawnoftheagez, @likelyfantasywriterspsychic, @orphicodysseywrites, @mischiefiswritten,  @wineandpensareallineed, @candy687, @kaylewiswrites, @nemowritesstuff

[taeguboi]

“Would You Rather...?” Drabble 06 - Reader x Yoongi [Suga] (Angst / Smut)

Would you rather fight with Yoongi a lot only to have the greatest makeup sex or have sweet sensual sex with Jungkook only once a week (or less) cuz he’s so busy?

This is a lot angstier than a situation I’d actually choose and is faster paced than what I usually write since I tried my hardest to make it a short piece [it’s still like 2.5k words though lmao] so I’m sorry if it loses the vibe because in one paragraph something’s just starting and in the next it’s already done hahhahaha

My new fic masterlist is here (I will no longer be updating the old one)

One last note: I remembered the ‘keep reading’ link this time to not take up your feeds - sorry for before

Send me BTS “Would You Rather…?” questions in my ask box for a drabble

*******

“Say You Love Me”

An aura of suspense filled the room as you were alone with your ex boyfriend for the first time since you two had broken up. It was so bitter towards the end when the two of you were slamming doors and raising voices. It was only a few weeks ago since the two of you mutually decided to break things off in the midst of both your frustrations and anger towards each other.

But now he is standing here in front of you, it feels just like yesterday. Any hint of progress you made in moving on, vanished. Any rational thoughts about what went wrong, faded. Any moments you were convinced you don’t need him, forgotten about.

You only came back to the old house this evening to collect a few things after realising you left a few important documents here. It was just your luck that at the exact same time you had decided to make a visit, so had he. Who is he? Yoongi Min.

“What are you doing here?” you huffed at the sight of him entering the poorly lit living room just moments ago. It seems the electric had been cut off already probably from not paying the bill. 

“Hello to you too” Yoongi had retorted.

“Look I’m just here to get a few papers and then I’m outta here so I’d appreciate it if you could just give me my space” you instructed, fumbling about in drawers for what you needed.

“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” he sighed and although you weren’t looking at him at that time, you could actually hear him folding his arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Never mind. What’s the point? We’ve been here already” he grunted.

“You’re right, I think I do know what you mean” 

“Yeah, but did you really y/n?” he questioned, voice raising. “Because from what I could tell, I was about to give you my fucking everything and you threw it all back in my face because, and I quote ‘too intense’!”

Things had escalated super fast as he was full on yelling at you once again, just like in the argument that broke you two up.

“Well excuse me for wanting some me time!” you protested, finally finding the sheets of paper you were looking for. 

“You call that ‘me time’? Constantly pushing me away whenever I showed you any affection? Dismissing the things I would say about how much I loved you?” he blared in frustration before toning it down again. “You broke me y/n. What else was I supposed to think when all you did was…”

“And you should have trusted me!” you interrupted. 

“And I trusted you! I trusted you so fucking much! You pushed me to breaking point though!”

“Just because I didn’t want to spend everyday with you didn’t mean I stopped loving you” you muttered.

“Sorry, what was that?” Yoongi asked in shock. It made your heart sink too.

Love. It was a feeling you were too scared to ever admit. Your heart felt irreparable after the hurt a previous relationship brought you a long time ago. You were frightened when you realised you’d fallen hopelessly in love with Yoongi, but you went for it when he expressed that he wanted to be more than your friend. Yet you couldn’t ever find it in you to tell him you loved him. That you still do.

“I said…” you stammered, unable to repeat yourself.

“You used the word ‘love’” he said, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open in disbelief. “You never said that to me before”

Tears involuntarily escaped your eyes and you let out a sniffle. You put down the stupid papers and you could hear Yoongi take a step closer to you as you tried to dry your eyes, bringing you to this point right now.

“I really did love you Yoongs” you admit, the delayed expression of emotion pouring out. “I was scared, I…”

“...should have told me you were scared, y/n. We were supposed to be able to tell each other everything and anything”

“It’s not always that easy” you remind him.

“It’s not too late either” he adds on, watching you take a seat on the sofa, head in your hands.

He walks over to sit next to you, hand on your shoulder to comfort you. You look up at him, face to face for the first time in what feels like years. Perfectly perfect. His face so handsome and his heart so kind. You hate yourself for hiding from your feelings to the extent that you lost him.

You’re looking into each other’s eyes, reading everything both of you are unable to say. Hurt. Regret. But also love that hasn’t gone, not yet.

It’s almost uncontrollable, your urge to feel his lips pressed against yours once again and before you know it, your head is tilting slightly to one side.

Despite the circumstances, this is the best kiss you’ve ever experienced because of how much you missed Yoongi. You want more and it seems so does he as he kisses you back, leading to a string of passionate, heartfelt kisses.

It only feels natural that your hands begin to explore him, that you get to touch his body again, You stroke a hand down his chest and to his leg. Your hand rests on his leg as you continue with just kissing. You might have gone too far however when you allow for your hand to trail up a little and towards his crotch because he pulls away.

“Y/n I-I-I don’t want to take advantage. You’re vulnerable” he tells you, his breathing heavy from the intensity of the situation.

“I promise I’ll talk, for real… I will, I just… I need this” you tell him desperate for his touch, a sudden rush of lust and desire overcoming you. “I need you Yoongi”

“I need you to tell me you love me” he asks of you, longingly, his hand on your still teary cheek.

You kiss his lips again “I love you” you tell him, followed by a kiss on his cheek. “I love you so fucking much” you continue followed by a kiss on his neck which causes him to groan a little and stroke your hair and in return, you hand starts to stroke along his leg once more.

“I love you too, y/n” he pants with a gulp, adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“I missed you” you tear up looking back at his face and he cups yours. 

“Show me how much you missed me” he demands though his wishes are unclear.

“Anything” you reply.

“Let’s go upstairs” he smiles lovingly, standing up and bringing you up with him. He leads you upstairs and into the old bedroom you once shared.

Before you even reach the bed itself, you’re passionately making out, exploring each other’s bodies, lightly undressing each other as his jacket comes off and his shirt unbuttoned and you kick your shoes off.

“Tell me what you missed about me” he instructs as the two of you sit on the edge of the bed, continuing to make out.

“The way you make me feel” you pant, followed by a couple of kisses. “Your eyes, your smile” you continue to list, allowing Yoongi to kiss your neck, wet sounds resounding deliciously into your ear. “Your kind heart… I was so dumb”

He grabs one of your slightly shaky hands and you get to feel his semi-erect cock through his trousers. “How much did you miss this?” he asks menacingly, purring into your ear.

“So fucking much” you admit.

“I bet you missed this the most, didn’t you?” he challenges.

“No” is all you can utter, chest starting to heave as he places a hand on your trousers, teasing at you increasingly throbbing womanhood.

Yoongi eases you backward so that you’re laying on the bed underneath him as he goes on all fours at your side to hover above you.

“Did you… did you see anyone else while we were apart?” he asks.

“No one” you truthfully tell him. 

“Good” he smirks. “Promise me you’re mine” he requests.

“I’m all yours Yoongi” you tell him, providing him with the reassurance he clearly seeks.

Your trousers are tugged at and pulled off in an instant as he swiftly whips them off you to your surprise.

“And this pussy is all mine too then, yeah?”

“Always baby”

Yoongi pushes your pants to one side, desperate to devour you. “I love it when you call me that” he coos, tongue then teasing at your clit.

“Oh, Yoongi!” you exhale in delight even though he’s barely started.

Contrastingly to the kitten licks he just gave you, he presses his tongue flat against you. Sighs of pleasure escape your breath to which he hums contentedly which buzzes pleasurably on your sensitive area.

“So fucking good” you praise as he brings you close to climax.

“Oh, baby” he exclaims, voice vibrating at your clit once more. Yoongi always did love it when you said out loud how good he is in the bedroom. He loves to hear you say his name. He loves to know he’s doing a good job.

“I-I’m close” you moan as his tongue picks up speed with the circles he’s drawing.

At the very last moment, he adds in a finger which slides in with such ease because of your wetness for him. He increases it to two fingers after just a few thrusts and you see stars as he helps you reach orgasm.

“Yoongi! Fuck!” you exclaim at your very peak of pleasure.

“That’s right; say my name” he commands, riding out your high with just his fingers.

“Yoongi… I have to taste you” you state, arousal still high.

“Where did you wanna taste baby?” he teases, fully well knowing the answer to that question.

“Your trousers” you reply, sitting up. “Take them off”

He does exactly as he is told and gets off the bed to unzip and lose the trousers as you climb off the bed.

“Sit in that chair baby” you tell him. “Let me treat you now” you smirk as you watch him sit and then you fall to your knees met by the sight of the bulge that is aching to be freed from his boxers.

You don’t take the boxers off fully; instead you pull them down only enough to reveal what’s underneath.

Yoongi always did have a beautiful cock. It angles a little to his right and his head is a gorgeous, delectable shade of pink. You hold it firmly, precum dripping out onto the back of your hand and you begin to pump up and down slowly, almost painfully slowly.

“Ahhh, don’t tease me babe” he commands, a hand running through your hair. “Let me fuck that pretty little face of yours”

With a few more teasing pumps and licks, you give in, taking him in almost whole the first time he’s in your mouth and Yoongi could swear this is the best your mouth has ever worked on him as he watches your head go up and down. He can’t help but guide your head down to take him in just a little further, hungry for more and it really hits the spot.

“Mmm….” he hums deliciously, pleasure continuing to stir inside of him. “Oh shit, baby, you’re gonna have to stop, I’m too close. We both know I have to be in you”

You lift your head up for a final time, a small pop sound happening as your mouth leaves his aching cock.

As if you read each other’s minds, the shirts finally come off and are slung onto the floor and all underwear is discarded.

You’re back on the bed on your back with Yoongi on top kissing you like there’s no tomorrow. You’re exploring each other’s bodies as if it’s your first time doing this together and you each just have to take in every little detail of one another.

You roll Yoongi over so that you’re on top and guide him backwards to sit up. You straddle him, your wetness pressing against his dick and even this humping brings immense pleasure to the both of you as you sigh into each other’s mouths.

You remember how much Yoongi enjoyed the faces you made for him when he made you feel good, so you’re sure to let him see you biting your lip, eyes closed.

“Fuck baby, I’m not gonna last much longer like this” he tells you, fingers gripping tightly into the skin of your hips as you continue to grind on him.

You transition from grinding on him to allowing him inside you as you guide his cock to go inside you. Moans of pleasure erupt from both of your throats as he enters you. Your arms are now around his neck. He’s looking up at you with loose lips and a relaxed gaze, occasionally staring down at your breasts which bounce up and down as the rest of you does.

Looking into each other’s eyes means everything right now. The eye contact only enhances the feelings of pleasure and raw emotion. You bounce and you bounce on that dick until you feel weak, almost too weak to keep the pace going but Yoongi assists by thrusting deep into you, his hips now going up and down.

“Gonna come” you utter, deeply in pleasure.

“Tell me you love me” he demands.

“I-I-I” you stammer, just seconds away from climax. “Oh my god! I love you Yoongi! I love you, I love you, I love you!”

Your string of proclamations of love seem to really hit the spot for both of you. Tears stream from your eyes both in pleasure and emotion for Yoongi and you appear to simultaneously come for each other.

“I love you too y/n!” he groans as you feel his hot see ejecting into you whilst you also reach orgasm.

You both ride it out just a little longer so that you both can finish until you pull out and collapse onto him. He strokes your hair lovingly and catches his breath before speaking again.

“All that stuff you said; was it for real?” he asks.

Your heart sinks a little at how insecure you’ve made him just because of your own past trauma.

“It was Yoongi. I can’t believe I lost you just because I couldn’t swallow my pride and open up” you sigh, appreciating the feeling of being able to rest your head on his chest.

“I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with though, just to let you know” he assures.

“I know, I know… in the morning, I want to do this properly. We’ll talk, like two civilised adults should… That is, if you’ll listen or even consider having me back” you sigh, drawing circles on his bare chest with a finger.

“One step at a time, yeah?” he sighs back.

“Yeah” you agree, yawning afterward.

“You sound tired and it is getting late. Let’s sleep on it and we’ll talk over coffee and breakfast” he suggests, humming in a lazy way.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. For all of this” you apologise.

“I’m just glad to be here with you.”

“Me too”

[yavemiel]

it’s the little things in life: chapter three

Chapter Title: ask not what the rebellion can do for you

Chapter Summary: Cassian may be smaller now, but the war against the Empire rages on.

Author’s Note: Uh...so this is a little angstier than previous installments, just as a heads up! It's ridiculous, I swear, this was meant to be crack, why is there angst? But, erm, anyway, enjoy!

Read on AO3 here or under the cut!

“What we need ideally, sir, is a drone, or a bug, something small enough to get inside the defenses and disable the system, because the security is just too tight to get anything bigger in.”

Jyn stifled a yawn as Cassian shifted restlessly on his perch on her shoulder. The intelligence briefing was interminably long and the analysts had been arguing back and forth about the best way to infiltrate an Imperial weapons facility without any progress for about an hour.

She just about held back a groan as the increasingly irritated tech expert explained for the umpteenth time that they just didn't have that kind of technology available to them.

“Anything we have that's that small just doesn't have the AI for a mission of that complexity, I'm telling you, it's a fruitless venture.”

Cassian shifted again and Jyn became more alert as she realised that unlike her, he was paying close attention to the ongoing discussion.

The first analyst opened his mouth again, presumably to produce a fourth iteration of the same argument, but Cassian cut him off.

“What if I went?”

There was dead, ringing silence as Jyn tried to coax her suddenly numb lips to speech. Cassian continued talking into the silence.

“I'm small enough to evade the security measures, I could get in through the vent system. You said anything larger than a rat gets vaporised? I'm a lot smaller than a rat. Once I get in, I can disable their computer system, make it look like there's a flaw in the -”

“NO!”

Every eye in the room was on them. Jyn wasn't aware of yelling, but the pain in her suddenly raw throat was evidence of her outburst. She swallowed, avoided looking at Cassian, instead focusing on Draven, who looked a lot more interested in the suggestion than she was comfortable with.

“You can't seriously be considering this,” she said. “It's a suicide mission! Getting in is one thing. Getting out, with no back-up and the whole facility on high alert? Much harder.”

Cassian shifted on her shoulder. There was complete silence as Draven considered the two of them.

“Captain Andor.”

“Sir?”

“In your opinion, can you complete the mission?”

“Yes sir.”

“And make it back to the rendezvous point safely?”

Cassian hesitated.

“Andor?”

Jyn felt him stiffen, closed her eyes as she imagined him straightening his spine, lifting his chin in determination.

“Yes sir.”

There was silence again. Jyn didn't dare open her eyes to see Cassian’s fate in Draven’s face.

“You heard the Captain, let's get planning. I want suggestions, logistics, tech...we have a limited window of opportunity here people, move!”

Jyn let out a hiccuping breath and opened her eyes as the room sprang to life around them. She could feel Cassian coiled like a spring on her shoulder. She still couldn't look at him. He flinched slightly as she put her hand up to him.

“Jyn…”

She picked him up gently, so gently, and placed him on the table. Then she got up and left the room as though in a dream, feeling like her limbs were dragged down by heavy weights. In all the bustle, no one except Cassian noticed her leaving.

***

Hours later, she sat on the bed in their quarters, hands disassembling and cleaning a blaster deftly as her mind wandered in an Imperial weapons silo star systems away.

She glanced up as the door to their quarters swished open, her hand tightening around the blaster before she recognised Kay, Cassian carefully held in one hand. He put Cassian down on the table and looked between them as the awkward silence stretched.

“Well,” he said, “I think I shall leave you to your argument.”

He stalked out the door. Jyn made an absent note to ask him how he managed to convince the door to slam shut behind him when it should have swished. She still couldn’t bring herself to look directly at Cassian, though she could see him shifting uncomfortably in her peripheral vision.

She focused very hard on her blaster, at a loss for words. Eventually Cassian blew out a sigh and said “Jyn, I -” and suddenly she had the words.

“You don’t have anything to prove, you know.”

She glared at him, finally, and he looked taken aback by the sudden eye contact as much as the words.

“I...what?”

“You don’t have to prove that you’re still useful. They all know what you can do, what you’ve already done for the Rebellion, and this, this -” she gestured vaguely at the size of him “- isn’t going to last forever. You don’t have to throw yourself into a mission.”

“What if it does though?” His face was mulish, chin up again.

“Does what?”

“What if this does last forever? What if Kay and Bodhi never figure it out? It’s been two months already. I have to figure out what my place is now.”

Jyn clenched her fists in frustration, saw Cassian clock the motion. She forced herself to relax again.

“You’re worth more than just...what you can do for the Rebellion.” She hesitated, then pressed onward. “You’re worth more to me.”

Cassian’s shoulders went down, and he scrubbed a hand across his face, looking exhausted suddenly. “I know. I know that, I do...I just...this is who I am, Jyn. That hasn’t changed just because I’m...smaller now.”

He was looking at her, earnest and beseeching, and she felt the fight drain out of her, resignation taking its place. “I know.”

He hesitated. “I understand if, um, if you want things to change. I won’t...I mean, it’s not fair to you.”

“What the fark are you talking about?”

He looked deeply uncomfortable and a little sad. “I understand if you want to take a break from us.”

Jyn was on her feet without even thinking about it. “What the fark?”

Cassian opened his mouth, but she barrelled on. “No, of course I don’t want to ‘take a break’, are you crazy? I love you!” She paused, gripped by a sudden fear. “Do you want to take a break?”

“No!” Cassian’s vehemence went some way to quenching the terror in the pit of her stomach. “No, I just thought, maybe…”

He trailed off as she sat next to him and held out her hand so that he could grip her finger tightly.

“Cassian?” She waited until he was looking at her. “All the way.”

He pressed a kiss to the tip of her finger, and they sat in silence again, a better silence.

After a few minutes she spoke up. “I still don’t like you going on this mission.”

Cassian dropped his head. “Jyn…”

“I’m going to go with you.”

His head snapped up and he stared at her in surprise.

“I’ve already pushed it through with Madine, he said he’ll push it through with Draven. Chirrut and Baze are going to come too. And if you’re so much as a minute late to the rendezvous point, we’re coming after you.”

He looked like he might object, and she glared at him. “All the way, remember?”

He swallowed and nodded. He climbed up onto her hand and she shifted to lie on the bed, allowing him to climb up into his favourite spot on her neck. She felt him relax gradually and she was almost dozing when she just barely heard his whisper.

“Thank you.”

She smiled and stroked a finger down his back in response.

They slept.