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tuancore · 4 years

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Lost You (Part 14) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

You could feel your entire world collapsing before you, oxygen leaving your lungs, suffocating you to death. It was a horrible feeling, your body was crying for oxygen to let you live, but you had absolute no reason to. As much as it killed you inside you were going to meet ends by killing yourself from outside as well.

As soon as your eyes shut close, you felt yourself falling into some sort of black hole, getting sucked from within. Thats it, you are going to leave everything behind and rest in piece, you thought.

________

The doctors operated on you restlessly for hours, Jinyoung stood outside the operation theatre his face already pale and puffy from crying. All he prayed was for you to be safe and to come back to life, To him, To your love, To where you belonged.

The doctors were finally done operating on you after two and a half hours.

"Doctor, how's she? She's fine right? Nothing happened to her right—" Jinyoung clouded the doctors with multiple questions his fingers intertwined together. Exhaling a short breath, they replied "Mr. Park, we managed to save her..but if she—".

"If she what doctor?" He shouted impatiently, "You See.....Mr. Park we have to wait till she gains consciousness until then we can't say anything clearly, let's just hope for the best, now if you excuse me" The doctor excused himself leaving Jinyoung behind, crying to himself.

BamBam approached him, embracing Jinyoung in his arms, rubbing his back, "Hyung, Noona will wake up soon. Don't worry, she's the strongest".

"But BamBam what if she never wakes up, what if I lose her?" Jinyoung panicked, grabbing his hairs harshly "I can't lose her Bam, I can't, how will I even breathe seeing her in this condition?".

"Hyung, Hyung....please calm down, nothing bad will happen, have some faith in her, she won't leave you", BamBam tried to assure him, "If anything she loves you, she'll not go anywhere leaving me, leaving you, any of us".

And just like that it's been two months and you still haven't opened your eyes. Seeing your lifeless form before his eyes were burning and eating Jinyoung alive, he felt so helpless for the first time in his life, even if he gave up all his money and his soul he won't be able to wake you up. All he was required to do was pray and wait for a new day to bring the possibility of you waking up.

"Oppa..." The voice made Jinyoung turn his head around, while he sat beside your ward bed on a barstool holding onto your cold hands securingly, "Minyoung, You here? Not having work today?".

"I do have work but I wanted to visit Unnie first, that's all" She smiled, staring at you, "Oppa, I just hope she wakes up soon, it's been so long. It's kind of hard to not have her around and I want you to be healthy Oppa, you're neither eating nor sleeping properly. Do you think unnie will be happy seeing you like this?".

"Yeah, you're right...." He turned to face you, his heart hurting everytime to see your hands getting pierced with syringes and that oxygen mask which was keeping you stable, " But Minyoung, I'm healthy don't worry, as long as she's by my side, I'll be okay ".

"Where's BamBam?" Minyoung asked, "I thought he would be here".

"BamBam? He hasn't visited for two to three days, anyways why are you asking about him?" Jinyoung asked back, raising his brows in curiosity.

"Stop with that suspicious upfront" Minyoung laughed hitting Jinyoung's shoulders playfully, "Lisa unnie was worried about him, he hasn't been answering her phone calls".

"Lisa hmm, there's nothing to be worried about he's busy with things at the studio, tell her not to care about that dork that much. Yugyeom is there with him" Jinyoung laughed, "Oppa if he's with Yugyeom it's 110% confirm that they'll cause some trouble, for you all to wrap up later, it's so casual for Lisa unnie to get worried".

"I know, I know. Salute to Lisa for bearing with BamBam's annoying ass" Jinyoung grinned, at the thought of Lisa always running after BamBam with the amount of headache he gives her.

"Aigoo it's already, 11:47. I guess I'll be on my way to the clinic, see you Oppa" She hugged Jinyoung gently, then after facing you again, "Unnie wake up soon, we're all missing you a lot".

"Please baby, please come back to me, with every passing second, I'm losing a part of myself" He sniffed, reminiscing the times you both have spent together, "Remember baby you always scolded me for not helping in household chores, and that one day you'll leave me if I didn't start being a good boyfriend, helping you with those. I'm sorry...." He sobbed kissing your knuckles, "I'll do whatever you'll ask me to, I promise. I'll do the dishes, I'll do the laundry, I'll clean the washroom. Anything, I'll keep you like the princess you are....all you have to do is come back to me. Please....I love you. Please".

"Bam the hell are you doing?" Lisa growled through her phone, making her boyfriend shudder in fear, "I'm sorry Lili baby I was busy".

"Busy? What kind of busy? That you haven't answered my calls for three days, not even a single message", she continued ranting while BamBam bit his bottom lips nervously, glancing at Yugyeom every now and then who was busy drinking his chocolate milk, "Baby...I'm just busy at the studio with some mixtapes, it's been exhausting lately. I promise I'll call you from now onwards, don't worry too much, hmmm?".

Sighing loudly, Lisa mumbled "Okay, take care, by the way Bam".

"Yes Lili?".

"Just go and visit the hospital, Minyoung told me that Jinyoung's condition is also worsening, it's not good for his health", She explained, tone laced with concern, "Lisa, hyung hasn't been himself since the day Noona— I'll spare myself some time and go there".

"Sounds good, and one more thing. I'm coming back in five days" Lisa contained herself from squealing. BamBam's face lit up at the news, clutching his phone tight he grinned widely, "OMG! Finally! You've been stuck at Rosé's place for three weeks now, that's enough for her".

"Yeah, but it's definitely not enough. I'm cutting my visit short because my childish boyfriend is being a nut".

"Hey! What do you mean by a nut? I'm the coolest you know so it's definitely you who's a nut" He bragged, dabbing again. Yugyeom let out a scoff walking out of the room.

"And I'm the hottest okay" She chuckled lightly, "Yeah yeah a very hot nut though, Lisa come back soon I miss you", he muttered lovingly.

"I miss you more Bamie".

________

The work and everything started getting the best out of Jinyoung, he was ditching meals and sleep continuously. He ran from office to hospital and then from hospital to office without any fixed schedule. Everyone requested him to get some rest at home, Yugyeom and BamBam even suggested that they will keep an eye on you. But Jinyoung was not satisfied with any of that, if he wants to be with you, Then he will be with you. His words were solidified in concrete.

Except for today, everyone planned on not letting Jinyoung step inside your ward until and unless he attends today's meeting. The investor was giving up a huge amount for the project and Jinyoung's company can't miss on this.

"You guys sure that this will convince Sir to attend the meeting?" A blonde lean boy one of Jinyoung's employees asked, chewing his fingertips, "Of course! Hyunjin don't worry. Noona means the world to Jinyoung hyung, he'll even walk to the moon just for her sake, so chill", Yugyeom encouraged Hyunjin who was still not so sure.

"Please hyungs do anything, but please please convince Sir to lead on this meeting. He has been rescheduling this meeting for weeks and I don't think that the investor himself have that much patience" Hyunjin explained desperately, "I do understand that he's here for ma'am he cares for her, he loves her but job is also important. Please convince hi—".

"Shut up! He will go with you, just stop with your blabbering" BamBam shouted, irritated hearing Hyunjin's pleadings since then.

BamBam and Yugyeom proceeded with their plan by locking your room's door from inside not letting Jinyoung in, "Hyung! You'll get to see her after the meeting only!" BamBam shouted from inside holding onto the knob tightly.

"BamBam that's not fair! You can't do this I swear I'll break the door if you don't open it!" Jinyoung snarled from outside banging on the wood. "Stop banging loudly, Do you want Noona to get disturbed?" BamBam's words made Jinyoung stop and sigh in defeat, "Fine I'll go....".

"Good choice, so we'll be waiting for you right here after few hours...." BamBam smiled waving a bye from the little glass hole in the door, "Few hours" Jinyoung repeated sadly not wanting to leave you even for a second.

"After you Sir" Hyunjin spoke for the first time after Jinyoung's arrival. He nodded after capturing your form, grabbing the file from Hyunjin's grasp walking towards the exit flipping through the pages, with Hyunjin following behind.

Yugyeom and BamBam passed a thumbs up towards Hyunjin, mouthing "Told you".

Unlocking the door, BamBam and Yugyeom plopped themselves on the couch. Both of them already tired from sweating day and night at the studio, but they knew that someone has to look after Jinyoung because he has completely lost himself.

Suddenly your heart rate monitor started to beep sending a panic wave through BamBam and Yugyeom. They jumped to their feet running to examine you, your breathing was highly unstable even though you had the oxygen mask.

BamBam stayed with you while Yugyeom rushed outside to call a doctor to check on your not so good seeming state. Your chest heaved up and down due to your erratic breathing, your lungs suffocating you.

"Noona... Noona...." He called out desperately, "Nothing will happen to you Noona...", BamBam pulled out his phone ready to dial Jinyoung's number but stopped at the thought of Jinyoung being in the meeting.

"Doctor please...do something it looks like she's getting short of breath" Yugyeom barged in along with the doctor, she immediately stood beside you, checking your pulse rate and heart rate.

She injected you with some medicine, then again leveling the monitors after awhile your breathing was back to normal. BamBam and Yugyeom almost had a cardiac arrest, if it wasn't for the doctor to have you stable again.

"What was happening to her?" BamBam asked the doctor, "She's fine right?".

"Don't worry she's good, and I think she'll wake up soon" She smiled at both of them, before walking away.

"Gyeomie...." BamBam whispered facing him. Yugyeom nodded with a smile, "Yes yes I heard, Noona we're waiting".

Your head started throbbing with pain, almost unbearable, you tried opening your eyes but squinted them with the ache, tears filling your eyes. You heard someone calling your name voice laced with shear panic.

"Noona!" With the last call out, you opened your eyes, panting and sweating heavily as if you've ran a marathon, "Calm down, calm down..... Everything is okay, you're okay. Slow down, breathe in, breathe out".

"BamBam...." You whispered, through the mask. Later catching the proper rhythm of breath, still with your head throbbing you managed to rotate your eyes across the room. Hospital.

"I didn't die?" You mumbled which was audible enough for BamBam and Yugyeom to hear. "Noona, stop saying things like that. You're safe and sound. Nothing happened to you by god's grace", Yugyeom snapped, shaking his head.

You didn't dare to ask about Jinyoung, not that he has left your mind or heart, but the slightest thought of him pained your heart, neither did Yugyeom or BamBam were bothered enough to bring Jinyoung up.

Later the doctors performed few tests on you to make sure everything was normal. Fortunately the reports were declared normal and that if you wish you can get back home as soon as possible.

"Shouldn't we call Jinyoung hyung and let him know about her?" Yugyeom asked BamBam, "We should but not now, he's still in the meeting and if we informed him right now, he'll leave that meeting in between and hurry here, which we don't want..." BamBam explained, waiting for doctors to shift you back to your ward.

Thanks to the medicines, due to which your headache completely vanished, you still felt light headed almost floating in the sky, legs wobbly, breathing heavily. The doctor handed you a pair of clothes for you to change from that hospital gown.

"This...." You asked the doctor confused about the clothes which you were certain belonged to you, hesitantly taking the dress from her hand. "The young man who's with you kept these clothes just in case and see it was fruitful", You nodded your head mind thinking about BamBam since he was the one with you meanwhile the doctor clearly referred to Jinyoung.

"You can walk..." Yugyeom uttered examining you from head to toe as you walked with the doctor. "Of course I can, I didn't break my legs".

"So wanna go home?" The doctor asked you with a humble smile, "If you want you can, I'll just arrange the discharge papers".

"Will it be okay to take her so soon, like she just woke up?" BamBam asked worriedly. "Everything is fine, you can take her home. She'll get proper rest at home".

Sitting at the backseat of BamBam's car you stared outside of the window, it was already evening with the sun almost setting while BamBam sat on the driver's nseat with Yugyeom beside him.

"Noona Jinyoung hyung isn't at home, he's busy in some meeting, so no one would be at home, if you want I can take you—" Cutting BamBam in the midway, you sighed in frustration, "I don't want to hear anything about Jinyoung Bam! Just take me somewhere else but not to him".

Yugyeom and BamBam locked eyes in eternal confusion and shock, "What do you mean by not to him?".

"I just don't want to see his face, I don't wanna go back to him".

"But Noona he—".

BamBam held Yugyeom's arms shushing him, "So I'll take you to Youngjae's place then...".

Eyes widening you shrieked loudly, "Youngjae's place? BamBam have you both completely lost it. Why would I want to go to that bastard's place, he's the reason why me and Jinyoung are having problems".

"What do you mean?" Yugyeom cut in curtly.

"I know Youngjae is the one responsible for mine and Jinyoung's relationship to end so brutally!" You snarled clenching your fists, your nails almost digging into your palm's flesh.

"I know you both knew this, then why would you want to take me to his place?", You asserted your pitch rising with every word.

"Because he's your bestfriend" Yugyeom and BamBam announced in unison. Your face falling at their words, pondering over it, a sharp pain shot through your head making you groan in pain.

Part 13 // Part 14 // Part 15

______________________________________

#got7 imagines #got7 jinyoung #got7 x reader #jinyoung imagines #got7 angst #got7 bambam #got7 jackson #got7 jaebeom #got7 mark #got7 youngjae #got7 yugyeom #jinyoung angst

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oh-theatre · 4 years

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Call It

a/n: I just really love logicality and doctor patton and so i wrote this really bad quick fic i guess

ITS SO BAD IM SO SORRY

TW: Death, hospital, surgery, blood, crying, panic, child death and illness

“Thats you” Logan mumbles removing his arm from Patton. Patton groans rolling over, his frantic yet tired hands searching for the incessant pager. Finally setting his hand on it he blinks through blurred vision.

“Crap” He sits up quickly, grabbing his glasses. ogan looks to him, still warm in his dazed state. He murmurs what seems to form a question. “My patient needs to be rushed into immediate surgery” Jumping out of bed his words faster than poor Logan can process. Soon disappearing behind the bathroom door reemerging moments later all dressed up.

“yerkes dodson is our subject today class” Logan mumbles turning into his pillow, a soft chuckle from Patton and a gentle kiss.

“Ill see you later dearest” He promises, tucking the teacher up cozily. The ride to the hospital seemed faster this morning, alas at the break of dawn cars decided against holding the pediatric surgeon up.

Arriving on the scene he was instantly whisked away, nurses and doctors flooding him with information.

“Jamie Kerns, she slept steady through the night but woke up with trouble breathing” Mila informed, Patton nods reading over her chart, the group making their way to the OR. “We tried for a breathing tube but the resident punctured her lung”

“What?” He stops, the fear in her eyes was deep. “Crap” he repeats, only moving faster. “Ok, we've got the chest tube in place and ready?” He asks, preparing himself. He sees the young girl lying on the table, rapid breathing while nurses try to calm her. Once hes ready, he takes his place, everyone quiets. “Hiya Jamie” He smiles, a soft one.

She tries to speak but fears her own words and capability, Patton shakes his head soothingly stroking her hair as the team works quietly around her.

“Its ok, youll be okay I promise” He keeps his smile, the anesthesiologist nods to him. “It'll be a quick sleep, and then back to your bed” She nods, tears stain her face. “Count down from ten for me ok?”

And so she does just that, before her words slur and her eyes grown heavy. Patton nods at his crew, a deep breath and a quick whisper to himself.

“With the sun and moon and stars by your side, there's no one you cant save, no ones dies, not tonight” He can almost hear Logan assure those words to him.

“We work as one, and we work for her”

~~~

“Time of death, eight-thirty four am” Patton recites, frustration boils as he removes his gloves and has the nurses help him. He walks away, ignoring the calls and confusion, the questions.

He knows the hospital inside and out, he knows the roundabouts to avoid seeing the family just yet. And he knows his floor by heart, listening to the happy children, and relieved parents helped.

But there was one place he needed to go, one patient.

“Mister Patton!” An excited cry as he appeared in the doorway.

“Good morning Jamie, how are you feeling?” He could feel his chest relax with the steady breathing the girl displayed.

“She's great, I mean she's been happy and her vitals stable and the nurses says she's ahead of schedule” Martha, her mother, rambled. Patton adored this moment, when he knew for certain. “Thank you so much” She squeezed him, maybe too tight but just enough for Patton to ground himself.

With his visit complete he was ready, not that he had a choice, to face the cruel fate he must deliver. Two hopeful parents waiting outside, their legs shaking as they await the news.

How dare he be the one to decree who lives and who dies, who gets to take their first steps, experience love and life. Why him?

~~~

“No! Please! There must be something!”

“Patton?” The doctor blinks turning to his husband, a gentle gaze as he examines him. “Everything alright love?” Logan sets down the cooking tools that Patton has frozen in his trembled hands. He leads him to the couch, embracing him gently. “Another one?” He inquires, his arm caressing Patton carefully.

“He just wasnt strong enough” Patton leans into Logan, allowing him to kiss and smother him sweetly. “He fought for days but the chances were low, he was just...” He staggers his breath, Logan tightens his hold.

“I know, I know” He whispers, Patton gives, crying himself into a dreadful sleep. The screams and pleads of heartbroken and confused parents riddled his mind. But Logan didnt move, he sat and remained, keeping his arms and body wrapped around his partner. Patton stood tall but sometimes, he shrunk, sometimes he shattered and Logan was there.

Just like Patton had always been there for him.

A team

Their team

they work for eachother and for themselves

“I love you” Logan whispers, his own eyes surrendering into a sleep.

#idk man its bad #SORRY #patton sanders #logan sanders #logicality #sanders sides #writing #write #thomas sanders #youtube #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfic #fanfiction #ITS SO BAD IM SO SORRY

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officialthiamlibrary · 4 years

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2019 THIAM REVERSE BIG BANG MASTERLIST

Below is the masterlist of all of the creations by the amazing artists and writers for the Thiam Reverse Big Bang… four months of fantastic work, preparation, organization and collaboration between the creators are in this list, and we’ll never stop shouting about how thankful we are to everyone who participated this year for the work that you’ve put in to these!!

Some of those participating were even creating for other events (including our Halloween event) in between this one… and they still have these fantastic works ready to show everyone... so PLEASE show them some love for their hard work by commenting, reblogging, and giving likes/kudos/comments where you can! <3

All fics are arranged by the date each collaboration was scheduled for posting, titles for both each artwork and fic will take you to each individual creators post.

Special Thanks to @manonisamelon for creating this event’s roundup banner!

16 December 2019

The Price of Freedom + Artwork 1, 2

Author: @volsungar-the-mighty Artist: @moondrunkmonster56

[41k Words | Rated: M | No Warnings]

When the McCall pack find out that Mason is the Beast of Gevaudan, the Dread Doctors plans go awry, and Theo is left in the firing line. He goes on the run, only to be captured and paralyzed by them before he gets too far.

Liam, a Fallen Angel turned demon, is convinced to leave hell for the first time since his Fall. When he comes across Theo, paralysed, wounded, and about to be tortured and punished by the Dread Doctors, he offer's the Chimera a deal.

Theo's freedom, in exchange for his soul. But something goes wrong when Liam makes the deal a reality, and he becomes stuck on Earth with Theo.

And thats when the fun begins.

~~~

Making The Pieces Fit + Fic Aesthetic , Thiam’s Story Aesthetic , Aesthetic for Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4,

Author: @bookwyrm07 Artist: @manonisamelon

[7.5k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

When Theo was hired to rob a bank he knew he could do it, but now that two of his crew have taken themselves out his only option left is to get help from his ex.

~~~~~

17 December 2019

Eyes Unclouded + Artwork 1, 2

Author: @wolfenboyb Artist: @marauders-mess

[6.5k Words | Rated: General Audiences | No Warnings]

Inspired by Princess Mononoke... Theo leaves his remove village after it is attacked by a mysterious dark god. Cursed, he ventures out into the world to discover the source of unbalance in the land. He discovers a wolf prince at war with an encroaching town of humans making iron out of sand and destroying the sacred forest. As tensions rise, Theo must find a way to end the conflict and protect the one he loves

Archive Tags: AU | Inspired by Princess Mononoke

Those Who Wait + Artwork 1, Aesthetic 1, 2 , 3

Author: @lovelylittlegrim Artist: @tabbytabbytabby

[6.5k Words | Rated: Explicit | No Warnings]

Theo finally gets what he's always wanted.

Like The Trembling Heart Of A Captive Bird + Artwork 1, 2 , 3

Author: @impalachick Artist: @osirismind

[9.5k Words | Rated: Explicit | Warnings: Underage]

Liam is head boy for the Juniors at Beacon Hills Preparatory Academy, and Senior Theo Raeken gets in trouble a lot. They don't exactly get along.

Everything changes when Gerard Argent shows up. Liam finds out that the supernatural seniors are to be drafted and sent to Vietnam on Gerard’s orders. Liam is determined to keep the pack safe and is surprised when Theo agrees to help. When they work together, Liam realizes there is much more to Theo Raeken then the bad boy stereotype implies.

*The underage tag is checked because in this story, Liam is 17 (and Theo is 18). There is discussion about the Vietnam War Draft Lottery and the drafting process, and the pack seniors face the stress of possibly getting drafted.

~~~~~

18 December 2019

All The Broken Pieces (you chose to love) + Artwork 1, 2

Author: @flyde Artist: @marauders-mess

[22k Words | Rated: Mature | No Warnings]

Life fell to pieces, not suddenly, not violently, but slowly. Softly, the broken parts were caught. Safely, they were held. Lovingly, they were protected, although they could never be put back together.

Or: a childhood friends to tragic lovers AU

The Strangeness In You Is The Strangeness In Me + Artwork 1, Artwork 2, Artwork 3

Author: @eneiryu Artist: @18-sweet-poisoned-heart

[28k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

Theo’s life is never boring, considering where he works, but he’d have to say that his job doesn’t truly get exciting until the day that their entire station gets taken hostage by the Fae King of Northern California, pissed off that Theo arrested his murderous little protégé prince.

(Not) Dying For Brew + Artwork

Author: @nabawrites Artist: @snaeken

[7k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

Liam graduated from college, and now he’s back in Beacon Hills. He didn’t expect to run into Theo again, especially not in a coffee shop. It stirs up some old feelings he hadn’t ever really forgotten about…

~~~~~

19 December 2019

When the Day Met Night + Artwork

Author: @imjustafangirl-nobodylovesme Artist: @lightfiretomypaperwings

[8.2k Words | Rated: Teen | No Warnings]

The day finally arrives where Theo is told he's officially joining the family business. He's not happy to hear the news. Life under his father's thumb is a nightmare come true.

On his last day of freedom, he meets Liam Dunbar, a human ray of sunshine that changes everything.

Archive Tags: Original Genderfluid Character | Organized Crime | Mob Boss's son Theo | Photographer Liam | Theo and Tara hate their lives

Saw the shadow of the valley but the shadow was mine + Artwork

Author: @eneiryu Artist: @colder-bones

[17.3k Words | Rating: Mature | No Warnings]

No one ever trusts Theo, but then again: they’re not supposed to. It’s Liam they never see coming.

Archive Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Dread Doctor Spy!Liam

Caput Mortuum + Artwork

Author: @imjustafangirl-nobodylovesme Artist: @moondrunkmonster56

[16.3k Words | Rating: Teen | No Warnings]

Liam had pretty much resigned himself to never leaving his home, but then HE moved in. Or

The one where Liam is a ghost (but not really) and Theo buys the house he haunts (but not really).

~~~~~

20 December 2019

Melting The Ice + Artwork

Author: @extrasteps Artist: @snaeken

[30k Words | Rated: Mature | No Warnings]

Liam's entire world is shaken up when Scott McCall, the captain of the Los Angeles Rams and Liam's mentor at the club, unexpectedly asks to be traded to the Dallas Stars. As Liam struggles to deal with this in both his personal and professional life, his teammate and friend, Theo Raeken, is there to help him in any way he can.

Archive Tags: Ice Hockey AU | Liam doesn't handle his ied very well | Scott is a prick (sorry) | First Kiss

The Memory + Artwork 1, 2

Author: @tabbytabbytabby Artist: @lovelylittlegrim

[5k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

When Theo's away and can't reach Liam he gets worried. Especially when neither Liam's parents nor Mason will give him answers. When he gets back to Beacon Hills he's able to quickly find Liam. The only problem is, Liam has no idea who he is.

Be Free With Me + Video

Author: @ethereal--jeonghan Artist: @underthegallowws

[20k Words | Rated: Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

After being recaptured and dragged back to Eichen House, the place he's been running from for years, Theo vows to do whatever he can to escape instead he finds himself being drawn towards Liam, someone who was deemed as a 'high-level threat' within Eichen.

~~~~~

21 December 2019

You Just Need To See The Signs (Quite Literally) + Artwork

Author: @marauders-mess Artist: @wolfenboyb

[9.5k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

Liam is used to not notice most things.

Like when Mason gets a new shirt or his mom gets a new haircut.

The usual, y'know.

But not noticing he got a boyfriend is kind of a new level, even for him.

Blue + Artwork

Author: @flyde Artist: @li0nh34rt

[10k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

Every werewolf has a soulmate.

Every werewolf has a soulmate, and this is how it happens: On every day you spend on earth, the stars move a little closer together above your head until they form a line - the curve of a closed eye that will one day open to look upon you. From that day on, you will have someone to watch over you in life and death, and you will never feel complete without the soul that the eye belongs to.

But what if your soulmate's eye opens to reveal something you didn't expect?

You've Got Nothing Left To Lose (I Have Even Less Than You) + Artwork

Author: @snaeken Artist: @theraeken

[3.5k Words | Rated: Mature | Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death]

After everything that’s happened in Beacon Hills, Theo really shouldn’t be surprised soulmates exist. He just never thought he would have one of his own.

(Still to be completed, word count below is as of 1st chapter)

Archive Tags: Soulmates | Time Loop | Temporary Character Death

~~~~~

22 December 2019

Darkened Skies + Poster, Aesthetic for the fic, Theo aesthetic, Liam aesthetic, Liam with his dragon tattoo, Theo with his dragon tattoo, Theo and his dragon

Author: @lightfiretomypaperwings Artist: @manonisamelon

[3k Words | Rated: Teen and Up | No Warnings]

In a world where black dragons are a sign of evil, Theo Raeken was automatically an outcast. Coupled with a tragedy from his childhood that he was responsible for, it was easy to understand why everyone was afraid of him. But not Liam Dunbar, the friend from childhood that Theo hasn’t seen since the fire that claimed his family.

Archive Tags: Dragons | alternative universe

I don’t suffer from my sanity, I enjoy every minute of it + Artwork

Author: @lightfiretomypaperwings Artist: @moondrunkmonster56

[8.4k | Rated: Teen | No Warnings]

When Theo Raeken became the new therapist at Eichen House, he didn’t expect a collection of secrets. His high priority patient, Liam Dunbar, won’t speak a word to him during their sessions. But when Theo uncovers a stash of notes from a previous doctor, he finds more questions than answers.

Archive Tags: Eichen | Echo House | insane asylum | Secrets | Alternate Universe

Your heart or mine (we’re running out of time) + Artwork

Author: @lightfiretomypaperwings Artist: @snaeken

[3.8k | Rated Teen | No Warnings]

Theo Raeken knows it’s a long shot. Finding the heart of immortality feels like an impossible task, but it’s an adventure he has to pursue if he wants to survive. He doesn’t expect to meet Liam Dunbar along the way, a man with a record of violence that wants the heart just as badly. When circumstances force them to work together, Theo discovers there’s a whole lot more to Liam than his mercenary past. Can these two manage to get along on their quest or will they tear each other apart?

Archive Tags: Treasure Hunt | some steampunk vibes | Enemies to Friends to Lovers | Angst | Alternate Universe

And that’s it! Thanks again for a great event and we will see you all at the next one ;P

OTL Team

#thiam #thiamrbb19 #teen wolf #theo raeken #liam dunbar #officialthiamlibrary

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jellyfishdooter · 5 years

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LISTEN

I HAVE VERY LOW IMPULSE CONTROL

In spite of the current community fire I give you this Rise of the Guardians AU

Character explanations/ mini story under the cut

So after watching Rise of the Guardians (one of my fav animated movies) I got the idea for an AU where the egos are like the Guardians of the JSE community.

Their designs are based off/ inspired by the characters in the movie but instead of just drawing the egos as those characters, I more so let them inspire re-creations of their outfits/ powers

Chase: Jack Frost- Guardian of Family

In the beginning he doesn’t see himself as a guardian. He’s a screw up, a washout. But even through his depression he tries to make others happy before himself. He does this by having fun and trying to get those in the community to join in with him! It’s later on that he realizes he has a part to play and that his is making sure everyone is still together as one big community. He’s here to remind us that in troubling times that we all have each other- that we’re all family.

JBM: Santa- Guardian of Hope

Being the super hero of the group, it’s JBM’s job to protect the innocent and give off the appearance of being something people can depend upon- someone who can protect everyone from danger. He helps the community become strong and makes them laugh along the way (even if he has to make a fool of himself to do it, he loves our smiles)- he gives them hope.

Marvin: Tooth Fairy- Guardian of Creativity (Sams: small Tooth Fairies)

Much like tooth fairy in the movie, it’s Marvin’s job to collect fanart/ fanworks and store them so when the community forgets all that they have built together, he shows them. Not only that, he inspires the content creators and represents their passion for their art. And it’s what he protects. (Along with the help of the little Sams who are the ones who actually collects and re-distributes it so everyone can see what they’ve made.)

Jameson: Sandman- Guardian of Positivity

Arguably one of the most important guardians of the community, JJ is there to remind people the importance of PMA. In his own quiet ways, he encourages the members to think on the bright side- or is just there to give hugs and be there for them. Whenever someone is in such a dark place, he uses his powers to show them that they still have so much potential and that they’re not alone. He give them a light in a dark place to hold onto. (Yes, he uses sign language AND the sand symbols for those who don’t understand sign)

Schneep: Bunny- Guardian of Health

Being the good doctor of the group, he’s there to remind the community to take care of themselves. Yes he may be a lil aggressive in the way he gives out advice, but for a lot of people they need their butts a little kicks to get them moving to help themselves. But not only physical health, he’s also willing to sit down and talk about mental health and analyze what the problem is/ works to help you understand how to improve yourself.

Anti: The Boogieman- “Guardian” of Fear and Chaos

And last but not least, our dear little firestarter. For so LONG he’s waited, waited to be in the spotlight. Before the other egos show up it was just him and it was delicious. He had so much power as he fed off of our fears, insecurities, and of course the headcanons and theories we made about him. But then Jack HAD to make more egos and fill the community with positivity and light. So he sunk back and waited for his opportunity- he waited for his powers to grow strong in the background. And with all of the hints being dropped and community fueling the fire in a continuous positive feedback loop, he gains more and more strength every day. He reminds the community not everything is peachy and rosy. That there are awful things in the world and how you’re just a tiny ripple in a storming ocean. Insignificant. He doesn’t want to stamp out the community- that would be counterproductive. No he just wants them to feel fear for the channel- that nothing is safe anymore- at any turn he could be there. And with that everything always comes back to him.

And sooner or later, the others will fade away...

Extra Headcanons/ Tidbits:

Before they were all guardians they were other people. (TW: death and suicide mentions) -Anti was a reckless criminal and one night his “friends” betrayed him, leaving him behind which wound up being the end of him. They were running from the police and were trying to jump a tall fence when his comrades left the struggling man behind to take the fall. He did in more ways than one. -JBM was just a regular dude, but he sacrificed himself to save a kid getting hit by a bus in the city. Even though he was about to die he kept asking if the kid was okay. The medics told him he saved them and that’s all he needed to hear. -Marvin was a street magician in his time. He did tricks to cheer up people sitting on the sidewalk/ sitting alone and talked to them about their passions. Later the same people would come back and tell him about the new job they got or the current project they were working on. He pulled a teen off the side of a bridge and a local cop mistook it for him attacking her and.. well.. things escalated quickly -Henrik was an upstanding surgeon. He saved lives every day in his career. Even though his wife and child left him, he worked every day to become a better doctor and continued to save people. And after the surgeries he would personally counsel the patients to make sure they were okay physically and mentally. But one day.. they didn’t have a matching organ for the patient on standby.. and he knew he matched the credentials. -Jameson was a small movie star in his time. And when he wasn’t filming he went down in quiet to lift the spirits of homeless children and teens. He would put on small performances and then go around to each of them and comfort them if they said it was okay. He made sure by the end of his visit they were all in high spirit. But one day the filming studio caught fire. The smoke damaged his lungs so he couldn’t call out before the building collapsed. -And Chase... He had a loving wife and two kids who he cared for with his life. He vowed to himself to protect them, even though his wife turned into a bitch as the years went on. One night they were walking home from a day at the amusement park and Chase got jumped with his kids nearby. The criminal threatened to kill the kids if Chase didn’t comply. So to protect them, he did as the criminal said, handing over his wallet and watch and phone. And when the criminal was about to kill one of them anyway, instinct took over and Chase knocked the man down and knocked him out- but when he fell the gun went off

The lights on the globe are the septiclights, each one representing a person in the community

Instead of holidays, the guardians help in the background of charity livestreams and videos to give them that little extra spark.

Sean is the equivalent of the Man in the Moon

The extra fan-made egos (like Robbie, Shawn, Angus, and Bing) are still around, they just aren’t the big guardians.

If they were tho... Robbie- Guardian of Innocence, Shawn- Guardian of Voice, Angus- Guardian of... idk, Protection? Or maybe head cannons lol, Bing- Guardian of Online Connections

When too much of the community becomes afraid/ depressed, the guardian’s form changes (like in the movie) before they disappear -JBM: Becomes weaker, probably needs his glasses to see again, basically turned into a comicbook nerd -Marvin: Loses a lot of his color, magic goes away, turns into a cat? -Henrik: Hands continuously shake, gains a stutter so people can hardly understand him, becomes super paranoid/ closed off -JJ: His colors fade to black and white, it’s really hard to summon his powers, always about to cry/ wants to scream -Chase: Goes into a low state of depression, isolates himself a lot -Anti: His bravado diminishes- basically turns into an edgy teen with spasms instead of actual glitches, wound on his neck closes.

Like in the movie there’s a point where Anti takes over (like right now) and everyone’s powers start to fade

To make this angsty(er) he manages to kill JJ and he disappears, along with the light of positivity in the community.

Chase blames himself for not being fast enough to save him

To turn thing around Henrik suggests a charity livestream to promote a mental health organization. So they all work together to prep

A young community member somehow gets into Henrik’s realm

Memes and shenanigans ensue

“We spend all our time trying to protect the community, we don’t HAVE TIME-... for the community..?”

Chase runs off after young familiar voices calling out for their daddy

Chase ends up in Anti’s realm of fear(the opening is in the woods under an abandoned computer desk). It’s a series of twisted hallways bathed in red light and entire walls of glitching computer screens that cast weird shadows

When Chase gets out he realizes all the equipment is destroyed and he wasn’t there to help

Henrik blames Chase and sad dad runs off.

The community is plunged into a state of fire and fear and there’s no positivity anywhere to be found.

Except one last light...

A fan is talking to a Sam plushie, saying that yeah they understand why the stream COULD have been cancelled.. but everything in their life is just so dark they were really looking forward to it.

Chase finds them and uses his powers to make images of septic lights and funny moments in Jack’s videos

They realize it’s Chase who’s doing it and can see him

All the egos fight Anti with the help of a few community members beside them- giving them power to fight back.

The members bring back JJ

JJ kicks the ever living shit out of Anti with the help of the others beside him Okay I think I’ll stop here XD If you read all this... wowie!

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milagrosen · 6 years

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You've probably be asked this a thousand times, but why do you like Knock Out and Bumble Bee together so much. What makes them an OTP for you?

Alright let your captain tell ya! Now i’ve probably forgotten some points here,for some reason i’ve never written this down maybe i should. Also i’m not a good writer, my wording might be bit clanky but i’ve written these down straight from my mind, uncut thoughtsFirst of all, they’re adorable like no question. They’re both adorable individually and together they just double the trouble. But here’s deeper reasons

- Because they're so similar yet they’re so different at the same time.They’re both fun-loving, sassy, smart, charismatic, very multitalented, down-to-earth and collected and lovable dorks, bit awkward but in a cute way.But they’re so different, KO is more flamboyant and can be little eccentric at times. Where’s Bee is more calm and keeps his cool and emotions well in almost any situation. Not that KO is a exploding mess, not at all, but he does express his thoughts, positive or negative more than Bee does.Bee is the sweetest, kindest and chivalrous guy but he has low self esteem when it comes to his person. Knock Out on the other hand has great self esteem but is bit closed off and selfish. They could learn a lot form each other as in to grow. Their differences are perfectly imperfect and their similarities are so complimentary.- They've many same interests. They both love racing and spending their free time at night, they both love Earth and its things like movies. They like keeping themselves looking presentable, like dancing, music and they kinda have the same sense of humour. They just have good time together, never run out fun things to do. But they’d also be perfectly content just being in the same room doing their own things.- Bee'd be such a good friend form the start for KO. He loves all of his friends and he’s not "after anything". He just wants to support and cheer up his friends. And i think thats’ really gonna hit KO hard, someone so genuinely kind and caring. I don't think it’s something Knock Out really has seen or experienced and it’d be something that he’d perhaps admire and then ultimately fall for. And since Bee is always so nice and helpful, KO’d feel comfortable around him and seek Bee’s company when he can before anyone else’s- They’d be positive influence to each other and help each other to grow as a person. With Bee, KO’d learn to be part of a close team, make friends who are kind and happy to hang with him. Also Bee’s braveness and sense to stand up what’s right are something KO’d start to pick up on and eventually he’d grow to not be afraid to stand his ground. And for Bee, KO would bring this sense of freedom just to be. It’s different to hang with KO, like BB's status and reputation drop and he’s just a young, energic bot who likes to have fun. KO doesn’t expect BB to be or do something magnificent every single moment, even tho he knows what a hero BB really is. Bee'd get that feeling of ”normality”, when with KO that the war didn’t really let him have. And KO is such fun company and interesting, different in a good way. I think Bee likes the him that he is when KO is around because he gets to be nothing but himself at the same time.- The fact that Bee knew who Knock Out was when no other Autobot did, like it already gives off the idea that there’s already some history. Especially on Bee’s part, like what if he has seen or even met Knock Out before. Maybe when he still had his voice, did KO meet Bumble with a voice? Maybe he shadowed KO for a job! It could literally be anything and story just waiting to be told

Now i know this is long already and people don’t like too long posts soi’m gonna put everything else under this read more. KOBB continues

- When you kinda think about it, Bee and KO’s relationship was one of the few that developed a lot for the better. Yeah they never hated each other but they were rivals. But then went to associates to team mates to friends to true friends. Such good friends that they stuck together and KO stood by Bee and rest of bots against the corrupted council. I’m sure KO is happy that he did made the right choice and got to know Bee- Both of them think the other is out of their league. Knock Out knows Bee is Cybertron’s biggest hero, he’s brave, righteous, so kind and everyone loves him, why would he pay special attention to him? And Bee knows this amazing and brilliant doctor who is also a good fighter and great racer, he’s gorgeous and funny like why would he be interested in him? So they think the other is incredible, so incredible in fact that they can’t be in the same league when actually they’re both very much equal.- The med-bay would become a place for them. Yes cause BB tends to get dented often but also because it’s such a quiet calm place, which i bet Bee’dstart to appreciate. KO would get to do is thing, BB wouldn’t bother him but he’d give KO his undivided attention when a conversation starts. KO would love that and i think they’re those who can just talk for hours non stop.- Bumblebee and Knock Out are both tragic characters. Yes Bee on a scale is a lot more tragic but they’ve both been through a lot. Their loses, their physical pains they’ve been through, it’s a lot for bots so young. I don’t think either of them sleep well at night. Which though does create them moments to bond together when finding each other in the night. And Bee is one of the best people you’d ever tell and share your doubts and insecurities. He’s a bot who keeps his promises and doesn’t backstab you. Knock Out’d notice.- Maybe there’s something in that they were more or less "made for each other” Like i think in the Art of Prime the main idea was to make Knock Out fast, an equal to Bumblebee, to be his like counterpart so i suppose that already gave base and made me interested. Also they both stand out in the franchise overall so they have that star, power couple material- They look really good together. Like aesthetically they go so well together. And in RiD15, look at Bee and you’ll see there’s Knock Out in him. And KO even got that Bee cyan blue on him. I don’t know, it feels like they’re that pair that spend so much time together that they started to look like each other- Think about Bumblebee, the metaphorical son of Prime, Cybertron’s greatest hero and the bravest warrior out there. And Knock Out his formal rival who chose to save him and take the side of good and kinda became a role model to those who want to do the same. It’s not hard to think them as this poster couple of new era, everyone living in peace again, working together and spreading the idea that after the war, they're able to move on all together.Suppose there’s always going to be a leader and his medic

Yeah i might be forgetting some points here but overallWho doesn’t love a story of two young souls who realise they’re two of a kind, love all the same things and get along so well but the war kept their worlds from colliding. But they're able to leave it all to the past and start a brand new beginning together. Growing and becoming each other’s best friends and anchor person, being great as individual but amazing as a team. Eventually becoming os close that no matter what comes between them they’re able to overcome it and find each other again. There’s a lot of potential

#Here's reasons why i love them #ok its almost 2 am please forgive me typos and such #THAT'S ALOT OF TEXT 10 POINTS TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS ALL #racer boyfriends #tunedintraveler

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jenroseyokel · 5 years

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Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read.

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;)

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

#art #books #reading #awesome of the year #readers of tumblr #reading list #favorite books #best of 2018 #readers are leaders yo

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pastelacrylics · 6 years

Conversation

Depression tips that are actually helpful

Put your chargers on the other side of the room: This will make it so that you won't be on your computer so long, which is good and helpful for if you want to get better sleep. it also forces you to get up and move around for more than just food.

Tell your doctor you have trouble sleeping: this can get you access to sleep medication, which you should take. I love taking mine at my "bedtime" and then putting my computer away (necessary step) and then tidying up or doing homework. It sets up a healthier sleep cycle.

Drink water: keep a water bottle on your nightstand, and in your backpack. Easy access means you'll drink it more, and that you can teach yourself to do it when you're bored/ sad/ lonely.

Put your medicines nearest to you: Okay so we all know that the depression makes you never leave your bed so put your medicines in your dresser. It's an excuse to stay in bed, and it means you'll take them more.

Be a little more minimalist: ok so I know this one is weird but hear me out. If you don't get happiness out of an item? don't keep it. If you aren't using it? don't keep it. Don't clutter up your life with things you don't want, because you won't have the energy to clean them up.

Sort papers into would enjoy looking back at/ necessary to keep/ fucking trash throw it away.

Only keep the books near you that you loved/ would reread.

Part 2: Minimalism believes if something is necessary you should either enjoy it or find a better one that you do enjoy.

(B U Y P R E T T Y S H I T.) It also believes the amount of physical clutter represents the amount of psychological clutter and honestly? true. After getting rid of my shit i feel so much better and am able to focus on whats on my mind more. Im solving my own problems. I feel happier and healthier.

Eat food: okay so like? that nightstand i told you about? put snacks in it. But not like a ton of unhealthy snacks. Yummy healthy snacks bc you forget to eat.

Create a physical mood board and hang it up: So all of the things that make you happy? slap them together. Inspirational quotes? shove them on there. friends telling you that you can survive this? fuck yeah, make sure those go on there. Filling your life with positivity works, my dude.

Stop making depression jokes: okay so hear me out. I know you love them and they're a coping mechanism, but they create a cycle of depressed thinking. They reward you for thinking negatively. They teach your brain that it is a good thing to think bad thoughts. If you gotta make depression jokes, I've started making ones about "gotta beat that serotonin back into my brain" or "wtf dude you're telling me not even my recovery is straight? damn, I'm super gay, huh?" and they're stupid but they help me and reinforce positive thinking and focus on recovery.

Clean up your friends: seriously only hang out with people who you enjoy and build you up. I know this might make you feel more isolated, but I promise you if you do this you'll feel better in the long run and look forward to seeing them = looking forward to going out

Unfollow people: seriously, if you have a blog that you cant look at the name and tell me what it is or why you like it, why are you following it? or hell, if you flat out don't remember the name itself, like... leave? Your dash gets decluttered and only the things you enjoy are left. Plus you feel good in general bc cleaning stuff up actually makes you feel powerful and you deserve to feel powerful.

Buy a candle: light that shit up and watch as your mood improves bc there's something nice in your room fuck yeah

Get your work done: at a reasonable time. do your shit. don't stress yourself, please.

Find out your favorite season/weather: Make your room feel this way. The breeze? cool get a fan. 68 degrees? you can do that. sunny? turn those lights on hell yeah. night time? get out the fairy lights make stars HAPPEN. Spring? E M U L A T E S P R I N G. You will appreciate this. And if a day is your fave? Go outside, take a walk, and maybe idk, go to the store and treat yourself. Just go out into your fave and love your fave. Pretty easy.

Befriend yourself: by far the hardest of all of these but treat yourself as if its a separate friend. Your friend isn't eating? WHAT THE FUCK DUDE EA T. your friend says something bad about themselves? I LL PHYSICALLY FIG HT YOUR THOUGHTS. treat yourself right. you deserve it.

Thats all i can think of for now but please try it I know you'll appreciate it.

#in the life of me

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Alaska's Christmas Extravaganza ~ Hobnob

AN: You know, i love this time of year but people seem to really miss the true meaning of Christmas. I felt obliged to put it into context for the lovely folks at home. Lets have a look at some reviews shall we?

“The spelling was ok.”- Daily Mail

“There was a good attempt there.” -The Sunday Times

“I think i need to watch the show before getting any of this sweetie.” -My Mum

I hope Shangela reads this and finds the strength to win AS3~ Hobnob

–The scene sets in a small living room, adorned with various Christmas ornaments strung up around the mantlepiece. A crackling log fire fills the air with a certain smell akin to the time of year, and occasionally spits the odd ember onto the beige carpeted floor. An artificial tree in the far corner emits a low hum as it partially lights the dim room. Three individuals inhabit the area, sitting on a rather worn looking sofa whilst watching BBC news in ugly Christmas sweaters.–

Jinkx: Alaska you little shit.

Alaska: Hiee.

Jinkx: The nextdoor neighbours said you smothered their Christmas tree in faeces and ate their dog.

Alaska: (Gnawing at a bone) I can’t help it. Christmas is shit.

Jinkx: (Getting up and turning the telly off) You’re gonna have to go get it together before we go to my nans Christmas party on Saturday.

Alaska: If you make me go i’ll set her milky eyes on fire!

Jinkx: Jesus christ Alaska thats messed up.

Alaska: Yeah well you’re jewish. You don’t even celebrate Christmas.

Alaska: Christmas can suck my wang!!

Roxxxy: (Speaking up with a mouth full of mince pies #thickandjuicy) Sounds like you need…the spirit of Christmas.

Alaska: The spirit of Christmas?

Roxxxy: Didn’t you know? Legend says Shangela has the ability to grant unlimited holiday cheer with a single holy halleloo.

Alaska: Gay.

Roxxxy: (Sobbing, but continuing to eat) Its not gay Alaska!

Roxxxy: And you’d better find your Christmas cheer before Jinkxseses nans party.

Alaska: I don’t see it for me but ok.

Jinkx: I won’t have you ruining it like last year.

Alaska: Wasn’t that bad.

Roxxxy: You killed 5 salvation army workers with a decorative star.

Alaska: And I’d do it again!!!

Alaska: I couldn’t care less about that party. I don’t care for Christmas. Tiny Tim can contract ebola!!

Roxxxy: (Checking her casio sports watch) I’m late for the bus guys gtg. Bingo is in half an hour.

Alaska: Hmmmm…the spirit of Christmassssss🤔🤔🐍sssounds gay…

–Alaska gets up and walks to the window. The snowfall isn’t all that heavy as small flakes are illuminated by a street lamp with lewd drawings carved into the side. She could drive around to find the Shangela, except she owned a BMW, and rear wheel drive is shit in winter so she’d probably crash into some schoolboys on their way home.–

Alaska: Jinkx i need a lift.

Jinkx: I can’t, my cars in the shop.

Jinkx: you keyed the entirety of Aja’s Valentina speech on it last week.

–A shadowy figure in a Santa hat approaches the window and taps the glass with a skeletal finger.–

Ru: It’s me, God!

Ru: Wait.

Ru: It’s me, Rupaul!

Alaska: Rupaul? I thought Miss Fame set you on fire for eating meat?

Ru: (Neck rolling) My body is an illusion chiilde. My existence is merely a string of conscious decisions ive made prior to this mortal realm.

Alaska: Party.

Alaska: Please mawma. Help me find Shangela so I won’t be a cunt to my loved ones all the time.

Ru: Well…i suppose I’m all out of queens to block on twitter…

Ru: Aight lets make this quick, i have a bingo game in half an hour.

–They both get in Rupauls Toyota Camry and speed off whilst remaining under the speed limit. Road safety is important at this time of year as 70% of road collisions occur at Christmas.–

Alaska: (Shedding her skin) Where the bloody hell would Shangela be?

Ru: In todays maxi challenge, we’ll be traveling to the happiest place on earth!

Alaska: Lapland?

Ru: Close.

Ru: Scotland!

Alaska: Oh.

Alaska: (Hissing at the radio) Change the station rupaul this is making my ears bleed.

Ru: Oh? But this is the latest hit off my smashing Christmas album, ‘The beggining of the realness glamazonian peanut walk-the rumix.’

Alaska: Well turn it off. Its upsetting Jinkxes nan.

–The pair of them turn around to see Jinkxes nan having a Christmas seizure.–

Ru: If you don’t like it Alaska, get out. I don’t have to put up with tomfuckery. I’m God!

Ru: Wait.

Ru: No yes thats right.

–Alaska ejects the CD and throws it outside at a schoolboy. She takes a CD from her bra and pops it in as one of her many compelling songs begins to play.–

Alaska: Anus now available at your closest pound world.

Ru: Get out.

–Alaska is thrown out the car into a pile of snow.–

Alaska: Fuck you Rupaul you saggy bastard!!

Ru: See you at all stars 17 lad.

Ru: (Neck rolling) Oh you…forgot this.

–Rupaul throws Jinkxes nan into the pile of snow and speeds off.– Alaska: Shit.

–Alaska spots a warm glow in the distance. On further inspection it’s a humble pub. She approaches it, stepping over Jinkxes nan along the way. Once inside she spots a booth of old geezers.–

Alaska: Mrs. Kasha Davis? Tempest Dujour? Why you here?

Mrs. Kasha Davis: Us old folk have a hard time finding a place to stay during winter, and you know what they say!

Alaska: There’s always time for a cocktail?

Mrs. Kasha Davis: No. Mrs. Kasha Davis: (Tearing up) I have no grasp of my drinking problem and I’m sadder than I’ve ever been help me please.

Alaska: Lol hiee.

Tempest: Your aura is jacked. What’s troubling you?

Alaska: I need to find Shangela. Legend says a single halleloo can light a soul on fire with Christma-

Tempest: Dont talk to me about legend you lanky shit. I invented that story.

Tempest: Besides, that’s just a myth i created.

Alaska: But why Tempest?

Tempest: To get those kids off my danm lawn!

Charlie: (Raising her pint) Here here!

Alaska: Then that means…I’m doomed to hate Christmas forever…

Mrs. Kasha Davis: Yeah looks like it.

Alaska: I think I’ll go watch the Sherlock Christmas special.

Alaska: Thanks for literally nothing.

–Alaska hangs her head and pushes a pint glass off the table sadly :( She begins to exit the pub.–

Charlie: Wait!!! You have passed the test.

Alaska: (Turning back around) Pardon?

Charlie: Most people prefer the Doctor Who Christmas special, but the Sherlock Christmas special is far superior. You have passed the test.

–The seniors huddle together and whisper amongst themselves before turning back to Alaska.–

Tempest: Shangela is in fact real.

Tempest: We were only goofing you before because you’re sort of a dick.

Alaska: So Shangela is in the happiest place on earth Scotland?

Mrs. Kasha Davis: (Guffawing) Dont be silly.

Mrs. Kasha Davis: Scotland doesn’t exist. Shangela lives in Sheffield, up in the block of flats behind Lidl.

Tempest: I hear the Lidl fruit cake is very good this year.

Mrs. Kasha Davis: Yes Ive heard that too.

Tempest: Mmm very good.

Charlie: Bit too dense for me. Gives me diarrhoea.

–They all look around to Alaska who’s disappeared.–

Tempest: Shit.

–Around an hour later and Alaska finds herself outside a large council estate. She travels up the flight of stairs to a door with a Christmas wreath. She rips it off the door and knocks. A Christmas present rolls out the door and Shangela pops out.–

Shangela: Haleoo?

Alaska: Hiee are you…

Alaska: (Looking down at her hand) Shanjello?

Shangela: Maybe i am. maybe i arent.

Shangela: I just huffed an entire tube of paint i genuinely don’t know anymore.

Alaska: This entire holiday is aids.

Alaska: I got frostbite on the way up and i left Jinkxes nan to die in a pile of snow.

Alaska: I need some Christmas spirit.

Shangela: (Taking out a fat blunt and taking a massive chong) Listen here you lanky shit.

Shangela: Many before you have tried, and most have failed.

Shangela: Just like on drag race, consequence for failure…is death.

Alaska: I’m not sure that’s correct.

Shangela: Yeah sorry its the drugs.

Shangela: Alright go get me some Lidl fruit cake and i’ll give you my sweet Christmas goo.

Alaska: Ok but i never want to hear the phrase ‘sweet Christmas goo’ ever again.

Alaska: Biee

Shangela: (Waving and grinning) No problem giant purple rat.

Shangela: Is the sky melting?

–Alaska makes her way inside Lidl and grabs a big ol fruit cake. At the counter she couldn’t help but feeling she knew the cashier dressed up in a reindeer costume. She pushes a schoolboy over and places her baked Christmas goods on the counter along with a litre bottle of tizer which was only a quid insane bargain.–

Raja: 3 quid mate.

Alaska: Raja??? You work in Lidl???

Raja: Aye.

Raja: You know how it is. Crippling debt and all that.

Raja: Turns out 75,000 pounds goes quickly if you spend it all on grey hair dye.

Alaska: I didn’t ask but ok, werk.

Raja: What are you doing here? You hate Christmas and seasonal foods.

Alaska: it’s not for me, Shangela is exchanging Cake for Christmas spirit.

Raja: (Gasping) That idea is a boot from me. Shangela is a very vengeful and evil spirit!

Raja: OI RAVEN.

Raven: (From across the room working another counter) WHAT.

Raja: THE CUNTS ONLY GONE AND MADE A DEAL WITH SHANGELA.

Raven: WELL GET HER OUT THE STORE I WONT BE CLEANING UP BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR.

Raja: (Turning back to Alaska) Would you like a bag for an extra 5p?

Alaska: Vengeful spirit? What are you on about?

Raja: Well, back on our season there happened to be a Christmas challenge…

Raja: All was going well. The room was full of seasonal cheer! That was all until a large box was rolled out and we were all proper gagged.

Raja: Shangela popped out of the box after being eliminated from last season. She was ready to snatch the crown by any means necessary.

Raja: As it turns out she did so badly in the challenge, she landed herself in the bottom 2 once again.

Raja: Fuelled by her hatred for tulle fabric and Mimi Imfurst, she managed to stay in the competition. But at a cost…

Raja: Ever since, she’s hated Christmas! And steals the souls of those who cannot bring her Christmas cake!!

Raven: RAJA DID YOU TELL HER THE STORY?

Raja: I’M TELLING IT NOW FUCK OFF.

Alaska: (Hands over the money) Sounds fake.

Alaska: See you at Jinkxes nans party!

Raja: Bye.

Raja: Daft cunt…

–Back outside Shangela’s door, Alaska knocks three times. Did she have anything to worry about? Was Raja’s warning true?–

Shangela: Haleoo?

Alaska: I brought you fruit cake.

Shangela: Who are you?

Alaska: We met 10 minutes ago.

Shangela: Ah! Giant purple rat!

–Alaska hands over the cake and Shangela observes it for a moment.–

Shangela: This…this i-is not Christmas fruit cake…

Alaska: Oh man really? Haa i must’ve picked up partytime gyozas by accident my bad.

Shangela: (Fists trembling as she goes red) YOU HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE..

Alaska: Omf the look on your face right now…priceless.

Alaska: Hey what’s your wifi password?

Shangela: IM-IM.

–Shangela begins to transform as she morphs into a disgusting snowman creature. Finally she lets out a blood curdling screech and lunges at Alaska.–

Shangela: HAAALEEELOOOOOOOOOOO

Alaska: (Dodging Shangela’s punch) Hmm i think Raja may of been on to something…

Alaska: I’d better get out of here huh.

–Alaska begins to boot it down the stairs, Shangela hot on her heels, throwing glasses of Absolut cocktails at her. Alaska’s lanky knees give way as she clatters to the floor. She was at the mercy of Shangela, who towered over her menacingly.–

Shangela: I DONT HAVE A CHRISTMAS CAKE IVE NEVER HAD A CHRISTMAS CAKE IF I WANTED CHRISTMAS CAKE YES I PROBABLY COULD GO OUT AND GET ONE BECAUSE I AM WHAT? HUNGRY. YOU COULD NEVER HAVE A CHRISTMAS CAKE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL BABY EVERYTHING I HAVE EATEN IVE WORKED FOR AND GOTTEN MYSELF I HAVE BUILT MYSELF FROM THE GROUND UP YOU FUCKING BITCH.

Alaska: (Cowering and shaking in fear) IM SO CONFUSED IS THIS A REFERENCE TO SOMETHING?

–Suddenly a Toyota Camry screeches to a halt. The door opens and it’s Rupaul!–

Ru: Alaska! Get in!

–Alaska picks herself off the floor and hops in the car. They speed away as Shangela runs after them, her snowman body gaining power in the heavy snow.–

Alaska: Rupaul? Why did you come back?

Ru: Ive been listening to Anus!

Ru: I relate a lot to the message of nails.

–Shangela lets out another roaring halleloo as she continues to throw acid cocktails. Alaska cooks up an idea stew.–

Alaska: Ru! Drive back to Jinkxes house!

Ru: What? Why? She’ll destroy the place!

Alaska: Trust mawma.

–When they arrive at Jinkxes house Ru does a sick tailspin and stops in the driveway. They leg it inside as a confused Jinkx is setting out party foods and drinks.–

Alaska: JINKX! DID YOU BUY CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE FOR THE PARTY?

Jinkx: What? Yeah it’s my nans favourite.

Alaska: Your nan is dead Jinkx!

Alaska: Go get the fucking cake!!

Jinkx: Wait what?

Alaska: No time to explain go grab the cake!!

Jinkx: Did you say my nan-

Alaska: Jinkx really gurl priorities. Get the fucking cake.

–Jinkx goes into the kitchen and comes back with the baked goods in hand. Alaska hurries to the front door and swings it open to find a now 50 ft tall Shangela running towards the house. She readies her throwing arm into Shangela’s agape mouth and takes aim.–

Alaska: Merry Christmas.

Alaska: motherfucker.

–She throws it with her massively lanky arms as it lands in Shangela’s throat. Shangela munches for a bit before nodding her head and returning to her original size.–

Shangela: Bloody good cake that. Aight you’ve earned your Christmas spirit Alaska.

Alaska: Thanks.

Alaska: But you know, i don’t think i need it.

Alaska: I’ve learnt that Christmas isn’t about Holiday spirit, or even our loved ones.

Alaska: It’s about food. I get it now.

Ru: Good job chiiilde. You figured it out.

Ru: Looks like my work here, (Winks) is done.

Alaska: But where will you go?

Ru: Wherever I’m needed.

Ru: Plus i hear Michelle got in trouble with the feds for smuggling coke in her boobs, so i’d better go help her out.

Alaska: Bieeeee.

–People start arriving for the Christmas party. Tempest Dujour, Mrs. Kasha Davis, Charlie Hides, Raja, Raven and even Roxxxy take their places at the table and begin to chow down on the delicious munchies. Just before Alaska goes inside Shangela lets out a small cough.–

Shangela: Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. You’ve taught me the true meaning of Christmas, and I’m forever grateful for that henny.

Alaska: You know…there is an extra place at the table since we killed Jinkxes nan…

Alaska: Want to join us?

Shangela: Well, i am out of paint to huff…

Shangela: You know what? Halleloo i do!!

–And so everyone gathered around for this most festive of holidays, rejoicing and eating those mini sausage rolls that taste better cold. Roxxxy’s bingo game went well, the old folks had a place to stay, Jinkx was sobbing into the tablecloth, and most importantly, Alaska had found out the true meaning of Christmas. Merry Christmas to one and all reading this, and i hope you go to Lidl for your shopping this festive season. Halleloo.–

#hobnob #christmas fic #alaska thunderfuck #jinkx monsoon #roxxxy andrews #mrs kasha davis #charlie hides #tempest dujour #raja gemini #raven #rpdr fanfiction #submission #shangela laquifa wadley #crack fic #rupaul

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spotlightsaga · 7 years

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Fear the Walking Dead (S03E02) The New Frontier Airdate: June 4, 2017 @amc Ratings: 2.698 Million :: 1.04 Demo Share Score: 8.5/10 @amc-fearthewalkingdead FB/IG/Tumblr/Twitter: @spotlightsaga **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Only after watching the 1st episode 4 times, was I able to become comfortable enough to write an extensive review. I've always felt like FearTWD came barreling out of the gate the exact way I would want any of my 'Dawning of the Zombie Apocalypse' series or films to do so. It was about psychology and sociology, unlike its violent, campy sister show. Not that I don't have a deep appreciation for TWD, because I do... Just like FTWD, TWD's characters go through a sort of transformation over time, becoming unrecognizable as the people we first met them as. Their environment and its rapidly decaying social constructs change them. Due to personal time constraints and working on other series... Oh, not to mention a member of my household that threatens death if I watch FearTWD without them, I was forced to split the 2-Part premiere up in what was supposed to be just two days... It ended up being almost an entire month. As frustrating as that is, it does give me a certain advantage of perspective because I didn't watch these episodes back to back in a bottleneck type fashion where I miss small details. I searched through my old review because at the beginning of this episode I notice after Travis (Cliff Curtis) is shot and opens the helicopter door to push himself out, the camera briefly pans down as Alicia unbuckled herself in attempt to stop Travis from jumping out of the copter. Only, when that camera pans down we see that it appears that Travis had been bitten before he had even boarded in the first place. I searched through my notes because I found that I mentioned nothing about the bite, or the possibility of the bite in my review of S03E01, but in my notes I have a bullet point where I listed that Travis acts odd as he boards the helicopter. Interesting, because Travis doesn't seem the type to even remotely put anyone in danger if it wasn't absolutely necessary. So then why would Travis jump on that helicopter with healthy human beings, including his much adored step-daughter? This is where the fun of psychology comes in with the show, and I'm so elated that FearTWD didn't attempt to walk us through these small points, because it gives us a chance to think about it and analyze the character's actions afterwards. I'm guessing that Travis was bitten in his 'bad-ass scuffle' with the undead. He knew he was going to turn, but thought the bite wasn't so severe that he didn't have time to make it to wherever they were all going so he could be with his family one last time before saying his final goodbye... Because ultimately, that's the kind of man that I've come to know Travis as... Bit with the added bullet wound in the side of his neck, Travis knew that his time had just been cut short, making his fateful goodbye a short and unsatisfying one as Alicia is left to put the puzzle pieces together, just like us, but in a much shorter timespan. For me, the look on Alicia's face as she watched Travis fall out, after seeing the bite and gazing back up to his neck, said it all. Alycia Debnam-Carey is so good at telling stories with her facial expressions. This isn't a woman who anyone would ever accuse of only having 'one look' or resorting to a 'furrowed brow' when the emotions became complex, I feel like we were told a novel in just a few seconds because of the powerful emoting that Debnam-Carey displayed in just a brief moment. RIP, Travis... You almost had your proper goodbye that you truly deserved. Unfortunately, this just isn't that type of world. Back at the new ranch that Madison (Kim Dickens) and Nick (Frank Clark) would be trying to call home, after just living in a tortuous hell with the owner's biological son, Nick contemplates rushing into the unknown to find the lost helicopter and the people who he loved that were inside of it. This has become a trait we all associate with Nick, I see that some viewers have become frustrated with this aspect of Nick's character... But, essentially, a young man his age, a recovering addict, he's going to indulge in self-destructive behavior, react on the first emotion that overwhelms his senses. This is a young man who has recently become clean, who's been placed in one emotional stressful situation after another. He needs people like Madison around to snap him into reality and good thing she was there to do so. This isn't the frightened, frail S1 Madison who could barely muster up the gumption to react when someone was in trouble. This isn't the empathetic, caring, very human S2 Madison who would sacrifice her needs and the needs of her family to save others. No, no... This is a 'lioness defending her everything' S3 Madison who will stop at nothing to protect her own and herself... And I absolutely love it! The fact that The Otto family, who runs this ranch and apparently others, is just allowing a murderous psychopath to run free, in fact almost allowing him to take part in the first 'mercy kill' back at that base tells me that something is very wrong here. The Patriarch, Jeremiah Otto (Dayton Callie) tells Madison that he was 'star gazing' and he saw 'Venus flare across the sky', insinuating that the copter had gone down and foul play was amuck. He even goes as far as to ask if Travis would have hijacked the copter, which makes no sense whatsoever and essentially brings even more suspicion into the strength and integrity of his character. Things always feel off when a new group of characters that have their own societal structure are introduced in a 'Walking Dead' series, but these guys smell like bullshit to me.... And again, I can't stress it enough, the fact they've allowed Troy (Daniel Sharman) to exist and literally run an insane Frankenstein/Dr Jeckyl type experiments on a remote base and now just rejoin them like no 'war crimes', so to speak, is straight bananas. Sure, he's still Otto family, but he's clearly unhinged and dangerous at least a small punishment would be a sort of gesture of faith to the new arrivals that his behavior wouldn't be tolerated where they all now rest their heads. As far as episodes go, 'The New Frontier' was much more cohesive than its first parter entry, 'Eye of the Beholder'. We are diving into both the psychology and sociological natures of FearTWD, and for me that's the show getting back to what makes it great. With Travis now dead, the show even takes time to revisit Victor Strand (Colman Domingo) back at the hotel, a character that it appears that many people had almost forgotten or at least thought had died somewhere along the way. He's been put in an interesting position, as well as cemented himself in that very position as a doctor... A job he's not exactly qualified for, but a job that will keep him safe at least for the episode... And actually further, as one of his patients who he had a recent tangle with, the very woman who had cause his injuries, gave him keys to a car right before she jumped off of a balcony. As the episode winds down Jeremiah returns to Madison while she's grieving over the loss of her husband... And this asshole has the balls to tell her that part of his job is to make sure that people are not a danger to themselves or anyone else. Hi, pot... Meet, kettle. This new 'No Fucks Given' Madison tells him straight up that 'its a bit too early to tell'. Gotta give my girl props on that line... Never did I ever think I'd be referring to Madison as 'my girl', but she's earned a lot of respect in the growth we've seen over the past two episodes, or from the beginning of the series to where we are at now. He knows she has the Beretta and tells her that she can keep it... Thats if she signs for it, a sign of trust in what's already a grim, sketchy situation. Keep in mind, this is more of a dig of trust from Madison who by signing for the gun is admitting that she took it. Sure The Ottos and Jeremiah are opening up their 'compound' to them, but at this point the question is... At what cost? In the closing moments we get the highlight of the episode, of the 2-Part FTWD S3 premiere, one of the highlights of the entire series. Alicia visits Madison and asks what the plan is. Madison has made up her mind, further cementing this new and improved S3 Madison... "We're gonna make it our home, even if we have to take it over." Alicia calls that insane... Madison responds and I can feel my pulse elevating, they are truly pulling as much tension from this final scene as they possibly can, complete with an ominous, perfectly placed original score. "No, it's our fate. We suffered to get here. Travis died getting here. You have to accept it. You have to be stronger." She then tells Alicia to tell her how it all happened in the helicopter as the episode fades to black. A truly chilling moment. Thoughts? Theories? They were obviously attacked, shot at it... But by who. My guess is one of The Otto's, directly under the orders of the Patriarch Jeremiah... Though, I wouldn't be surprised if it was somehow Jeremiah himself, just to up his 'sinister factor'. Now it finally feels like FTWD is truly back!

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rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip · 4 years

Text

Origins

Mom of the group #2

OK, this didn't blowup like the last post I did about Tornado of Creation but the original to this was rebloged so heres Melodys Origin's and an explanation of her EM power.

(Context/pt 1)

First things first elemental power

The elemental master of music can do several things depending on the song and tempo. And can share the affect with a given party as long as they have the right training.

Classical music acts a lot like every song that is going to be listed but it isn’t as strong. note, the music of instrumental picks up in the wind, so let’s say The Weekend Wip was being used, you’ed here the instrumental. This is the most common tactic thats used by EM’s of Music.

Pop music, gives energy to allies and its user. It basically gives them a boost. Weekend Wip is most commonly used by Melody when she and the others fight.

Rock/Metal/Rap music, these go together cuz they pretty much do the same thing, Rap being more potent tho. Strength is increased but it can only apply to one person at a time, so Melody sings a Rock or Rap song she has to make a choice to use it on herself or one of the ninja

Edge songs, see point above on Rock/Metal/Rap songs. But it exclusively only applys to its elemental master.

Using a high pitch creates a sonic scream to knock people back. Using a low pitch acts as a shield.

Calm songs, like lullaby's, calm a human or an animal/creature down. It also helps people relax. This effect can apply to everyone that can hear it. Melody usually uses this in there down time to help with relaxing or trying to calm a member of the team down, mostly Kai.

Sad songs, they hit everyone within ear shot with heavy emotions, even bring back some sad memories for people. But this also effects the user as they can loose themselves in it leading to an activation of there 'true potential'

True Potential, when an elemental master of song uses this it gets destructive... You know through beat wheel/bar things that measure just how loud something gets? Well that's what happens and a good 300 km radius is covered messed up. But if the master has some control over it they can shrink the size of the radius. They also have the option to not have a radius at all and just store all that energy inside them and use it for physical attacks. Although you should only do this if you have full control over the element or else you could end up hurt or worse.

True Potential ties down to one or two songs, but normally one.

Side note, Melody doesn't like using her True Potential because she can't normally control it. So to clarify, she knows how to use it before the guys unlock theres, but refrains from using, and when asked she says it could take out a city block, questions stop after that said.

Melody is the youngest of 4 children, she has two older twin sisters, Royal being the oldest, and Destiny being the second oldest. Then there's Angel.

Angle is like 2 years older than Melody.

Both she and Angel are EMs of Music much to the dismay of there older sister Royal. She believes as the oldest its her birth right to have the powers not them. This leads to major resentment and abusive like tendancys from the oldest sibling. Destiny is more calm though, yes shes a little upset she didn't get them to, but I kinda relieved as both Melody and Angel got there powers around puberty and with constant voice cracks at a high pitch its difficult to control a short sonic scream from happening.(fun fact Melody and Angel both unlocked there powers as they where singing along with one of Cole's dads records, so when she meets him on there quest for the fang blades she fan girls a bit)But she tries her best to support her siblings through this. Their dad is the one they inharated there powers from. He's a pro boxer. His name? Devilin Loren Green and he’s an ass. Why? Well when he found out his two youngest where EM's he forcibly trained them in the way of boxing. Bastered didn't even hold back. He said we wanted his kids to be boxers like him even though they had different interest. He pushed Melody more than Angel tho, he wanted her to compete in the men's league dispit her protest. And like I mentioned before, Royal has a strong hated of her younger siblings so she supports her dad through this abuse. There mom(and Destiny) on the other hand doesn't. There moms name is Harmony. Harmony is the classic TV mom that's as sweet as cake but when pissed off she will rip you a new one. For the most part aside from the abuse the two youngest face, normal everyday family. By the time the two youngest start high school things take a turn. Royal has moved out and so has Destiny.

Now we enter Griffin (YEES FAST BOI). Griffin is your classic high school play boy. He's the track star as well as soccer as well. All the girls swoon over him as she and his friends walk the halls, Jax Wildthorn among them since he’s his best friend and all. Now since at that Melody is tired from all the training she doesn't pay attention to him and his possy. Griffin on the other hand is captured by Melody, sure for her looks but she doesn't pester him like the other girls, plus she was just like him, and elemental masters, so naturally he tries to pursue her.

Know that both Griffen and Melody are the same age, Mel being older by like two months, Griffen gets to know Jax through a mutual friend.

At this point Jax has become good friends with Angel(all reality there on a flirting basis whenever they see each other). Through this connection they learn that every month Melody visit this barbershop other have her hair cut and cleaned, and that one barbershop.(for anyone that curious the Barbershop is called Tony's Magic Hands its run by this supper enthusiastic Italian guy named Tony) so like a reasonable teenager he picks up a part time jod there, and as lucky would have it he was able to cut her hair that month.

"Hey Tony! I'm here for my usual"

"Melody! Good see your in good health, I currently have my hand's full so our new guy will be assisting you! Don't stress he's a natural!

"I'll take your word for it!" She its in the usual chair and to her surprise Griffin steps out with a smile.

"Griffin Turnner?"

"One and only!"

"Your not going to mess up my hair as some joke, are you?"

"Phfff what no never!"

"Uh, huh,"

"Well just sit back and relax I got this sweet cheeks!"

To Melody's surprise, Griffin was a natural, sure Tony or one of the other guys would usually do this and damn they where good, but Griffin? D A M N he was better. This leads to a fast friend ship sparking between the two,(there ship name is SonicNote). Every month the day of her hair cut she reminds him of it, which he wouldn't forget for the world. They even go as far as trying new hairstyles. But as time goes on Melody falls in love with him and they start to date, around this time Jax and Angel are dating too.

So lots of double dates

Sleepovers

Sharing of food

Movie marathons

Skipping training

They just hang and have fun!

But things go a little far after they decide to go to a party. As natural they get drunk. Griffin and Melody, well let's just say they both lost there v-card that night. At first they just blew it off as "whatever we where drunk, and in the moment" but goes to full on panic when not only is Melody feeling sick but misses the monthly womanly call of mother nature. In the end there was a panic but they ultimately decided to keep the baby(s).

This leads to the birth of North and West Turnner. There was a complication at both though. As some may or may not know, giving birth to twins is dangerous for both mother and baby's, most of the time one child dies in the process.

It’s an RIL thing if you think I’m bullshitting you. There even is a thing called Purple Butterfly where a sticker will be placed on the door of patients who were part of a multiples birth but sadly, one or more of the siblings did not survive. And even then most of the time the mother needs a C-section to birth them so theres that as well.

For Melody and Griffin there was a complication at birth. Mel had a C-section but was losing blood and the doctors feared she, and West wouldn’t make it. In the end they did but Mel needed to be carful of her midsection. If not it would end badly for her and could end up in a wheelchair, not paralyzed mind you but shed have trouble with moving a lot. As a C-section baby i can tell you my mom can't ware tight pants still and its been 16 years since I was born. The stitches can still brake. So real issues for this Music mister if you ask me. And I'm not blowing it out of perportion just for dramas sake.

The twins where the Prince and Princess of there high school. The teachers where fairly supportive of the couple. North and West where even models for the Fashion class that Angel just so happened to be apart of.

Prom was the night Griffin officially proposed to Melody. It was a big deal and everyone that attended other then Melody knew what was going to happen. It was an eventful night to say the least.

It was till years later there was a hiccup in there marriage. Neither really remember what the fight was about but it lead to Griffin packing some things and heading over the Nuros house for a bit.

(Ya Nuro & Shade are also friends of Griffin. They all went to the same high school.)

From there Melody went of town for a bit leaving the kids with her brothers. And form there met Wu.

Now before y'all say Mel is just as bad as Misako for not being there for the twins. She keeps in touch with them, alot. Like detailed in the last post on Mel, she calls video chats and sends gifts for important milestones in there life like birthdays, holidays and academic/ athletic success and so on. She even helps with homework if at all possible.

-phone calls with North, West and Melody-

"Okay West, when doing English read your questions first before reading the pasage, and mark down where you believe the answer for one might be." "Oh i get it! That way I know what I'm looking for later on right?" "Exactly kiddo!"

"North, if your going to participate in track please don't over work yourself" "Uncal Jax already told me about what happened to dad last time he over worked himself for a sport, but I appreciate the concern mom really, and I promise I'll take you're guy's advice into account when practicing with the team" "haha, good I don't want you fainting on me dear"

"Hi mom, thank you so much for the running sneakers! There amazing" "sure thing North, So how did your first Track race go?" "That's what I was going to talk about, WE WON! the shoes really did bring good luck like your latter said they would!"

"Mom, mom, MMOOOOM thankyousomuchforthecustomdrumsticksfrom(insert famous music instrumental company here) ohmygoshthereamazingilovethemthankyouthankyouthannnkkkyoooouuuuuuu!firstitwasthedrumsfromdadandnowthis?iloveyoubothsofeakingmuchhhhh" *incoherent laughing from Melody*

"Wish you where here with us mom" "wish I was too"

They love each other lots.

They also get stuff from there dad too. And to ensure that they don't get them the exact same thing, they communicate. Ya after about a year or two apart they both kinda realized the fight they had was idiotic and immature. But at this point Melody has caught on what Wu is trying to prevent and find and decides to stick around to help out where she can.

I mention in the last post that the guys make a pact to scare Griffin. Well Melody didn't tell them that the two worked out the issue sooooo.

But yes this was part 2 to Mom of the Group. Stick around for a part 3 if I ever get to it.

Also keep an eye out for later cuz I might drop a picture of her

#ninjago #ninja #ninjago oc #lego ninjago #oc #text post #ninjago fandom #this took too fucking long lol

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vitalmindandbody · 7 years

Text

White man pathology: within the fandom of Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump

Stephen Marche goes on a superhighway expedition and enters the fray at back-to-back Iowa conventions and gets a view of US politics from the perspective of his whiteness

The perimeter

You find your whiteness properly at the American perimeter. Most of the time being white is an absence of troubles. The police dont disturb you so you dont notice the police not riling you. You get the job so you dont notice not getting it. Your children are not confused with crooks. I live in downtown Toronto, in one of the most liberal neighborhoods in one of the most open metropolis in “the worlds”, where multiculturalism is the dominant civic importance and the inert virtue of endurance is the most prominent endowment of the British territory, so if you squint you are able to profess the ancient categories are scattering into a cloud of enlightenment and intermarriage.

Not at the border.

My sons Guyanese-Canadian teacher and the Muslim Milton scholar I went to high school with and the Sikh writer I squabble about Harold Innis with and my Ishmaeli accountant, we can all be good little Torontonians of the middle class, avoiding the differences we have been trained to respect. But in a auto in the carbon monoxide-infused queue waiting to enter Detroit, their beings diverge drastically from mine.

I am lily-white. They are not. They are susceptible. I am not.

Heres the thing: I like the guards at the American margin. Theyre always friendly with me, decent, even pleasant firm. At the booth in between the never-was of Windsor and the has-been of Detroit, the man I happened to draw had a gruff belly and the mysterious air of intentional inscrutability, like a troll under a connection in a fairy tale.

Where are you pate? he asked.

Burlington, Iowa.

Why would anyone ever choose to go to Burlington, Iowa? he requested philosophically.

Im going to see Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. Then, because it did seem to require an explanation: Theyre handing rallies within got a couple of dates of each other.

Why would anyone ever choose to go hear Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders?

I didnt argue, because it was the border, but I could have said that the police chief of Birmingham estimated that 30,000 beings evidenced up in Alabama to see Donald Trump in August and that in Dallas, he had replenished the American Airlines Center, and that his equivalent, Bernie Sanders, has generated equally unprecedented quantities enormously more than Barack Obama outlined at comparable instants in the 2008 campaign.

Im strange, I said instead.

At this detail he asked me to roll down my opening. But it was all fine. Like I replied, Im white.

As I drove through the suburbs of the spoils of Detroit, across the I-9 4, one of the ugliest freeways in the United States, the old-fashioned familiar lightness fluttered to my mettle. I enjoy America. America is not my mother. Canada is my mother. But America is an unbelievably splendid, amazingly sugared rich maid who lives next door and believe that there is falling apart. I cannot help myself from loving it.

For people who love to dwell in contradictions, the US is the greatest country in “the worlds”: the country of the free is built around bondage, the member states of law and order where everyone is entitled to a gun, a region of unimpeded advance where they cling to backwardness out of sheer stubbornness. And into this glorious morass, a new inconsistency has recently announced itself: The white people, the privileged Americans, the ones who had the least to fear from the powers that be, the ones with the most wonderful directions to brighter futures, the ones who are by every metric one of “the worlds largest” lucky groups in the history of “the worlds”, has begun to croaking off in stunning numbers.

The Case and Deaton report, Rising Morbidity and Mortality in Midlife among White Non-Hispanic Americans in the 21 st Century, describes an ever increasing death rate for middle-aged American lily-whites comparable to lives lost in the US Aids epidemic. This spike in mortality is unique to white Americans not find work amongst other ethnic groups in the United States or any other white population in the developed world, a mysterious blight of despair.

In one style, it was easy to account for all this white American fatality medication and alcohol poisoning, suicide, and chronic liver illness and cirrhosis according to the report. It was not so easy be held accountable for the accounting. Why were middle-aged white-hot Americans boozing and medication and shooting themselves to death? The explanations on offer were pre-prepared, fully plugged into confirmation bias: “its been” their own economies or it was demography or “its been” godlessness or it was belief or it was the outage of their own families or it was the persistence of antique qualities or it was the lack of social programs or it was the dependence on social programs.

Case and Deaton call it an epidemic of hurting. Fine. What does that signify?

On the I-9 4, you do find yourself questioning: what the fuck is wrong with these beings? I symbolize, aside from the speedy slump of the middle class certainly. And the rise of precarious run and the fact that the basic way of life requires so much sedation that nearly a quarter of all Americans are on psychiatric drugs, and somewhere between 26.4 and 36 million Americans mistreat opioids every day. Oh yes, and the mass shootings. There was more than one mass hitting a period. And the grey terrorists targeting black churches again. And the regularly exhausted videos evidencing the police assassinating black people. And the police in question never being indicted, let alone being sent to jail.

And you know what Americans were worried about while all this shit was raining down on them? While all this insanity was wounding their beloved country? You know what their number one perturb was, according to referendum after poll after referendum?

Muslims. Muslims, if you can believe it.

The American fantasy is dead but Im going to make it stronger!

My body is white and it is male. It is six hoof towering and weighs 190 lbs. It is 39 years old and it has had to start flowing. It has had to start weighing calories. There is a tingle in the joint of my right thigh, so I try not to think about my torso. The tingling emanates and moves. I know my person is going to kill me.

A man who horror suffering already sustain what he fears, as Montaigne mentioned. Thats one on why males expire very young than dames six years younger on average in America. Ninety-two percent of men say they wait at least a few dates to see if they feel better before they go to a medical doctor, but I know what they mean by a few days. They represent a few more dates that forms sense. It is hard to have a male and lily-white torso and to conceive of its weakness. In the same sigh, my mas cannot accompanying itself to believe it is the personification of power, although it was undoubtedly is in any rational accountancy of social status. It feels like a mere body. It experiences mortal.

Ive never been to a residence as white-hot as Iowa. Thats the honest truth. Picture: Darren McCollester/ Getty Images

Ive never been to a place as white-hot as Iowa. Thats the honest truth. Whenever I go to America its New York or Chicago or Los Angeles or Florida. In Burlington, at Jerrys Main Lunch, the signature dish is the red-hot mess, eggs and bacon cooked right into the hash chocolate-browns. The carbohydrate shakers all have white crackers in them, to prevent clumping a classic bit of common-sense American know-how. The hot mess is yummy. Why dont they construct these everywhere? Why isnt there a series of Jerrys Main Lunches providing hot mess all across the midwest?

The answer is in the rest of the town: everything thats going to leave have so far been left Burlington. The beautiful brick houses downtown are mainly vacant. The most interesting street is the road out of town.

The Memorial Arena, on the banks of the Mississippi, filled up early. Trump wasnt communicating until 6pm but by 4.45 the parking situation was gruesome. Outside the building, the hawkers who follow Trump on the road, occurrence to contest, sold T-shirts and buttons, three for $10. We shall overcomb. Cats for Trump, the time is Meow. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

Inside, every fanny had been taken and the storey filled soon with a standing room only bunch. Burlington is 10% pitch-black. The rallying was 99.99% white.

The people who attend political rallies in America are a specific genre of humanity, like the ones who stand outside in lines for nightclubs. They know where theyre supposed to go and how theyre supposed to behave when they got to get. They have gear.

An elderly dame sat beside me wearing a sequined stars-and-stripes-hat she clearly takes out for precisely these parties. Yall from Illinois? she questioned. Im not but I can extend. She goes to all the rallyings, she justified. Shes been a Republican her whole life, an active Republican, an Iowa Republican. For 30 years, shes been in crowds like this one. She plans to go, one time in their own lives, to the national gathering. Like going to see the Stones. When the organizers delivered around mitt signeds speaking The Silent Majority, she grabbed a dozen so she could overtake them around to others.

Cheerful helpful maidens were half the crowd. Furious and absurd followers were the other. They wore T-shirts with whole paragraph written on them: I am a United States Armed Veteran. I formerly took a SOLEMN OATH to represent the CONSTITUTION against ALL enemies, foreign and Domestic. Be advised No one has ever allayed me of my functions under this Expletive!

There were cars in the parking lot slathered with bumper stickers. We the peoples of the territories are 100% FED UP! So if firearms kills people, I guess pencils miss incantation statements[ sic ], automobiles drive drink and spoonfuls see beings fat. Im straight, republican, Christian, and I own a handgun. Is there anything else I can do to piss you off? A picture of Obama with Does this ass stir my gondola look big? The Republican mode for 2016 is furious aphoristic feeling. Behind slapstick, nonsensical storm: America is the greatest country in the world but America is falling apart, government is the problem which is why authority must solve it.

This was a Trump production so naturally there was a VIP section. A door guarded by bald, unsmiling mortals, the bouncers who stand forever as the bored sentinels of indifferent fame. A swinging door at the side of the stage received and gave the best-looking parties, the ones with the buffed neutrality of political professionals, the women whose faces have been tautened to a perma mope, the men who get their whisker slash before every event.

The woman beside me Stars n Stripes Hat was wearing a pewter elephant pendant. A young girl in a shining orange dress passed out of the VIP entrance wearing an elephant pendant encrusted with diamonds. Elephant chandeliers were a theme, I noticed, and elephant pins and elephant sounds and elephant T-shirts. They came in all different rate objects and in all different styles: round elephants suggestive of French cartoons from the 1960 s, and strange pseudo-sexual shimmies, and with 1920 s straw boater hats conducting processions. There was one kind of elephant you couldnt meet. An elephant that actually looked like an elephant. A realistic elephant might serve as a memento to the hundred elephants killed for their bone every day. A naturalistic elephant would be inherently environmentalist. The elephants must all be fabulous.

Like any good show, there was a warm-up behave. In reality, there are two three if you count the recitation of the assurance of devotion. The first was Tana Goertz, an Iowa woman who had been runner-up on the third season of The Apprentice. What a good-looking army, she pandered. She attested for Trump as a woman( He enjoys girls !) and as someone who had returned to Iowa( How could you live in New York City if you didnt desire parties ?). She promoted the idea which is at the core of every last event that Trump does, that simple contact with the man draws boom. When youre in the Trump train youre going places! She marched off to polite Iowan applause. The mob are more likely to, all things considered, instead have listened to the Elton John music playing on the speakers instead, but at the least she made international efforts.

A more standard promotion follower followed. Sam Clovis hosts a conservative radio substantiate and is a tea-party activist who has operated and lost a bunch of Iowa Republican postures. He precisely started right in with it. Trump was one of the greatest servicemen to ever tread the look of this earth, a good front the crowd could have tittered but instead they saluted, thus proving that “theyre not” paying attention or would immerse anything. Clovis compared Trumps recent speeches to Reagans A Time for Choosing at the Goldwater convention in 1964, which must have been, to his way of thinking regardless, roughly like equating it to the Sermon on the Mount.

Clovis knew what the crowd had come to hear and he gave it to them. America and Americans will be first again! A collective shriek shook the Burlington Memorial Arena. They so badly wanted to be first again. First in what was unclear but emphatically first.

After the thunder croaked, the crowd was ready for Trump. But, showmanship. Trump let the tension build; the indignant absurd men as well as the joyou, helpful ladies called. Trump! Trump! Trump! I could just suspect the amusement the softened din of his chanted appoint, from backstage, must have been bringing “the mens”.

When he ultimately took the stage, the crowd surged; their phones surged. It was an debauchery of phones. The humanities behind Trump examined the crowd with their phones. The cameras in the back were recording everyone preserving each other. Trump was the only party not hampering a screen, the absence that raised hunger. He started roaring, as everybody in the crowd stopped to check the footage they had assembled.

Trump started out with the time he knew would appear on the report the next morning Joe Biden had put out of the hasten and Trump approved of his decision because Biden never had a chance and Trump wanted to face Hillary. The mainstream media adroitly handled, Trump embarked his disquisition on the subject dearest to his mettle: his own success.

The Burlington rally labelled the 100 th period he had contribute the canvas. He spoke the polls, canvas after canvas. He paused only to ask the crowd how enormous the polls were. Beating Hillary nationwide do you desire that? The audience approved of his approval numbers. And so he moved on to the more qualitative aspects of his greatness. His adversaries precisely werent wins. I pronounce from the intelligence but I likewise pronounce from the heart, he spoke, rambling like a rich know-it-all uncle Im producing back the jobs from China! with brief digressions into self-pity: Macys was very disloyal to me. They dont sell my ties anymore.

He described, in twists periodically frank and self-deluded, the greatnes of his own capability for political manipulation. He talked to the people “hes been” spinning about how cleverly he was rotating them. So he affirmed Im a good Christian and that if he became chairperson were going to be remarking merry Christmas, but then he couldnt stop himself from recognise the cleverness of his Christian electioneering: I stepped onto a stagecoach with a bible, everybody likes me better. Trump introduced meta to Burlington, Iowa. And he did not disavow the crowd that preference of personality they wanted. What would he say to Caroline Kennedy, the ambassador to Japan? Youre fired! Youre fired!

A few spectators started to move out to beat trafficking in human beings and Trump shouted about the silent majority and about how he says what nobody else dares to suppose and about how he will end free trade and how Mexicans are car thieves( big shriek) and how he craves a piece of the action from the Keystone pipeline and how hes going to help womens health and how America used to be emulated. The American Dream is dead but Im going to make it bigger and stronger! he hollered. At this moment he appeared to me the route every fame I have met in the flesh does, like a living idolatrou idol awaiting sacrifice, a puff-faced Baal. Were going to acquire so much better, he predicted before leaving the stage to Twisted Sisters Were Not Disappearing to Take It.

Trump followers at the Veterans Memorial Building in Cedar Rapids. Photograph: Scott Morgan/ Reuters

I remained to watch Trump work the line. Up open, in person, the fuzz is still much intricate than it appears on screen. Its building is tripartite, great significance polyvalent. First and foremost, there is the comb-over, although it can be called a comb-over simply in the sense that the mall in Dubai with a ski mound inside it can be called a structure. It is hair as state-of-the-art engineering stunt, with the diaphanous quality of a cloak out of Norse legend or some supernatural near-weightless metal are set out in an advanced German laboratory. It swims over the skull, an deed of disregard not only against aging and loss but against duration and seat, against reality.

Behind the technological presentation of the comb-over, as counterpoint, the back is as conventional and old-fashioned as a haircut is also possible. Its a classic ducktail. Its such a classic that I have just been construed it in movies set in the 1950 s. Not movies from the 1950 s I should be clear, but movies from the 1970 s about the 1950 s. In between the comb-over and the ducktail, between the two follicular cavities representing the modernistic and the atavistic, the fantastical and the wistful, there is a third tranche. Even in person you have to look closely to catch sight of it. It projection, somewhat but only slightly. It is the real the members of the fuzz, the human role, the actual mane. It is the hinge of Donald Trump.

As Trumps campaign for the Republican nomination has unfolded, in all its unlikeliness, he has shaken handwritings with hundreds of thousands of Americans, and posed with numerous thousands for hundreds of thousands of selfies. And among those many thousands , not one has reached up to mess up his whisker. Though he regularly raises up the physical figures of his antagonist , nothing of the other campaigners even mention the fact that he seems foolish. Trumps hair is an act of defiant social pre-emption: announce me a phony. I dare you. I fucking dare you.

A few hardcore followers lingered on the fringes, just like at a concerted effort. Everybody else had floated into the parking lot and the cities middle of Burlington was soon returned to its emptiness. A Trump show is good value for the money, specially since its free. They dont even ask for donations.

The thought from Fun City

The morning after the rally, it has become clear that Iowa may be the bramble in Trumps path. A gossip over an wayward tweet has cloudburst.

He accuses the offense on a young intern. But the eight-point rise of Carson must be galling. Trump possesses the weakness of anyone who lives by the strength of their results. Ensues go. When the results are down , where are you? Who are you? Trump is in the business of acquiring. Does Trump losing even subsist?

I had a daytime between Trump and Sanders, and all I had to read was a pdf of Ta-Nehisi Coatess Between the World and Me, which I had agreed to look at for a book of the month team. After another hot mess at Jerrys Main Lunch, and a run to blaze it off, I invested a era at the Motel 8 in Burlington reading, while across the street, the Winegard factory, manufacturing satellite dishes 24 hours a day, thudded like a center without syncopation. Did you know you can buy a six carry of brew and a bottle of bourbon for precisely a little over 20 bucks in Iowa? What a big country.

The title of Between the World and Me comes from a Richard Wright poem called White Man, Listen ! and it was never going to get much whiter or more male than me in the Motel 8 sipping bourbon and brew, on my iPhone, with the Jays and Royals spotlights flickering in the background and the thud of the satellite dish factory in the background.

The urgency of the book, the vitality of the historic resource at play, rose like brandishes into crests of temper tumbling over their own force. It was all of a piece. And it all made extremely relentless sense. Between the World and Me is one of those notebooks that possess the strong certainty of a natural phenomenon as if it accrued out of the ether that surrounds us, a crystalline organisation of the scandalize that defines the moment. To criticize is beside the point. Its only there.

To me, the key section in Between the World and Me, originates after Coates has been on television justifying to the multitude the frantic consequences of yet another police assassination of a pitch-black son.

I came out of the studio and strolled for a while. It was a calm December day. Class, feeling themselves lily-white, were out on the street. Infants, invoked to be lily-white, were wrap in strollers. And I was happy for these parties, much as I was heartbreaking for the emcee and sad for all the people out there watching and reveling in a specious hope. I realized so why I was sad. When the journalist asked me about my mas, it was like she was asking me to awaken her from the most sumptuous reverie. I have seen that dreaming all my life. It is perfect homes with nice lawns. It is Memorial Day cookouts, blocking associations, and driveways. The Dream is treehouses and the Cub Scouts. The Dream smells like peppermint but preferences like strawberry shortcake.

Right then, speaking that aisle, I knew that white people were going to cherish this volume. What white people implore more, they require it, they require it to live is an alibi from their whiteness, an flee from the unfairnes of their existence. There are numerous alibis available depending on how much idiocy you can tolerate. You can say to yourself or to others that black people are stupid and lazy; you can say that you dont experience pigment; you can call your uncle a prejudiced so everybody knows youre not; you can share the latest critique of brutality on Twitter with the word THIS; and now you can tell a pal that she certainly has to read Between the World and Me.

Because that Dream of Whiteness, the dream of treehouses and rookie scouts that smells like peppermint and can still smell the strawberry shortcake, is a perfect alibi. Who lives that dreaming? Somebody else are now living it but not me , not anyone I know , no one I could see in Burlington. Thats a dream that belongs to somebody else. Always to somebody else.

It certainly didnt belong to the Winegard factory workers who were drifting to their autoes at the end of their change. The whiteness of my macrocosm was my iPhone and the vapours of bourbon and beer, and video games from last-place night and the tingling in my thigh. The tickling in my thigh was my mas the reality I cant look at because Im too afraid of my fatality.

To me, best available doubt ever asked about race in America has always been the one that James Baldwin questioned, when an interviewer wanted to know if he was optimistic or pessimistic about the future of America. What white people have to do is is an attempt catch out in their own centers why it was necessary to have a nigger in the first place, he enunciated. If you invented him, you, the white people devised him, then youve got to find out why. And the future of the country depends on that. The obsession of eggheads over issues of Malcolm X or Martin Luther King, Jr active or passive resistance was moot; the pressing question was why white people were blowing up churches filled with children.

Whiteness is a spiritual aberration, obviously by the return ye shall know the tree. And on the question of lily-white pathology, what good reactions has America induced since Baldwin would like to request that topic in 1963? And now that white-hot pathology has returned to waste away its legion, unexamined and strange, a golem.

In the evening, I finished the book and didnt want to think about my white-hot and male mas anymore, or the tickling in my thigh.

Across from my hotel, the Fun City complex contained an resemblance midway, a bowling alley, got a couple of bars, a replication diner and, tucked in between a inn and a spa, the Catfish Bend Casino. The poker chamber is dingy but serviceable. A game started at six. I wanted to play. I wanted to find out how much enjoyable can you have in a home called Fun City.

The youngest person at the table, Curved Baseball Hat, changed beans and corn. A male with an furious mustache led the conversation, a three-day whisker beside him contributing an occasional digression. The rest of us sat cooking softly in the juices of our addictions, like in any casino. Everybody at the table knew everybody else, except for me and a black welder in municipality for a specialist job. It was happy hour in Fun City, and brew was a dollar. Everybody told a mess of them. And I seemed just how luck it is to be in America, despite politics, despite everything. Cheap beer and frank beings and an honestly flowed activity in a clean chamber. Even compared to Canada, the unthinking prosperity of the place is dazzling.

Three Day Beard had appreciated Trump the night before, and Angry Mustache asked his opinion.

I think he could acquire, Three Day Beard suggested carefully, “as if its” a review, as if it were all you could allege of him, that he might have a chance to take the conference of presidents, for what it was worth.

Dont matter, told Angry Mustache. No content “whos got” in, Washington simply devastates them.

He might be different because he doesnt necessity the money.

Angry Mustache paraphrased a statistic, which I subsequently check and will prove to be bullshit, that all congressmen become millionaires by the time theyve been in power for a year. Everybody agrees with Trumps central advantage is that he comes pre-corrupted.

Its not even the money, Three Day Beard said. They get there. They all have these schemes and intentions. They cant do anything. Three Day Beard nearly pitied the legislators.

Its all interrupted, included Angry Mustache as a kind of dedicated, the style youd position any historic detail, like Germany lost the second world war or Frances Farmer was once a star.

The view of American politics in Fun City is snug despair. It is despair not just at who happens to be in influence but at whoever could ever be in power. It is despair not simply that the system is busted but that any organisation, imaginable in the present iteration of the United States, would turn out to be just as ruined. The choice is a alternative between frailty and dures. The reply was not change but a shrug.

Curved Baseball Hat, the person who originates corn and beans and who had fragile discovers of clay in the lanulae of his fingernails, requested information about an old gamble hall that used to be in municipality, and the recollections of the style Burlington used to be flowed constructs that had been knocked down, dames that were once beautiful and were now dead, riches made and vanished.

Eventually the pitch-black participate, who has said almost nothing except his calls and folds and develops, busted out.

Did you see that guys fingers? Angry Mustache expects when he had left. He gestured an inch past his centre paw. We were all, it was made very clear, in a chamber of grey humanities. You know what they say. My friend worked in the prison and he mentions its all true-blue. I guess thats why they say formerly you go black.

The residual of us nodded or smiled or said nothing, searching down at the cards. Now that we had all shown how white we were, it was a friendlier room. We knew that none of us would object to the misery of the others. What if the responses to Baldwins question is as banal as it appeared to be in Fun City? What if it white people draw the nigger to prepare themselves a little less lonely?

And I said nothing. I offered no fighting, though the line between “the mens” in Fun City and the cop killing a black brat in the appearance was not difficult to tracing. Here was my alibi that evening: I am Canadian. Which means I am a snoop from nowhere. Or perhaps I am a coward or something in between a coward and agent from nowhere. Its a reasonably threadbare alibi regardless. Whose isnt?

Conversation strayed back to Trump. It was more respectful.

I can see Trump, articulated Angry Mustache. Hes not the worst that Ive heard anyway.

Im starting to like that physician, Three Day Beard lends as an afterthought.

That doctor, Ben Carson, proposes a flat levy of 10% that would placed the US government, reckoning conservatively, in a$ 3tn-deficit. He believes that Joseph built the pyramids to store cereal, and he believes that Hitler never would have risen to influence if the German people were armed, and that Obamacare is worse than bondage, and that Americans are living in a Gestapo age.

I said that he hoped that Coates had some crazy programme, some utopian fiction for communards in Georgia, or the return to one motherland or another, but he only wants the end of white supremacy. He precisely requires white people in America to grow up, to yield their inhumane sense of illogical supremacy. I cannot imagine why they are able to. Its merriment to suck and to play placards and to dream what Donald Trump would say to the Mexican president the day after he was elected, or whether Ben Carson would prepare the flat tariff at 10 or 12%. The eventual alibi is stupidity it lies closest to innocence but if you cant cope stupidity, craziness does nearly as well.

I aim , nothing of its happens now anyway, right? Whoever gets elected, its just going to be stalemate and outrage anyway, right? Did I mention that beer payment one dollar? A single, lonely buck.

Ellen Degeneres, eat your heart out!

The Bernie Sanders rally in Davenport was the exact antonym of the Donald Trump rally in Burlington and yet precisely the same in every detail. Make America Great Again was replaced by Feel the Bern. Hawkers sold bolts, three for $10. They read Bernie Sanders is my feeling animal and Cats for Bernie and I subscribed Bernie Sanders before it was cool. Davenport, at least near the Adler Theater, “re the same” Brooklyn-outside-Brooklyn that has quelled every corner of the world that is not a strip mall. The tattoo creators of Davenport do not go hungry. The cornfed hipsters at the Sanders rally look like they have probably attended “states parties ” at which person played a bongo. They may even have attended a literary learning.

Bernie Sanders at a town hall session in Ottumwa, Iowa. Photograph: Charlie Neibergall/ AP

There were hype servicemen as with Trump, more, although in this case the latter are twentyish women in glasses bellowing Feel the Bern! and Were Going to Improve a Change! Individual with a camera from NBC expected the working group who has brought their precocious juveniles because they want them to be engaged in the political process Can I get you guys to look like youre excited about Bernie? They carefully targeted their glass on the floor, out of see, to oblige.

The same specter of angry white people recurs Saunderss rally, the same appreciation of longing for a country that was, the two countries that has been taken away. The Bernie crowd made homemade signs instead of fabricated ones, because I guess theyre organic. They brandished them only the same. They were going to a display. They wanted to be a good audience.

The fundamental difference between the Trump and Sanders army was that the Sanderss crowd has more coin, the natural significance of the American incongruity system: rich white people can afford to think about socialism, the poorest of the poor can only rendered their rage.

Sanderss opening act was a congressional wannabe, Gary Kroeger. He hadnt been on The Apprentice but on Saturday Night Live, a forgettable lesser performer from the largest date between 1982 and 1985. He started off, naturally, with a half-assed gag: the fresh patchouli in the air is great. The sign language translator offered a mild smile to expres it was a laugh. Then, after a brief foray into left-wingery, calling America a social democracy also known as a republic, Kroeger took a big selfie with the crowd behind him: Ellen Degeneres, eat your heart out! he wailed. Everyones phones rose up to take pictures of themselves in a illustration mimicking a photo from the Oscars: such was American socialism in the year 2015.

A few desultory ensembles followed, performing an mixture of leftwing anthems from various historical leftwing pushes. They harmonized on The Auld Triangle, a prison ballad that was covered on Inside Llewelyn Davis. The vocalist from Alice in Chains( recollect them ?) did an electrical version of I Wont Back Down. An old The Clash song, Jail Clang Doors, was sung by the subject of the first verse, Wayne Kramer. And it was all, so obviously, a nostalgia number, the self-indulgence for a longing of a season when music inspired politics, when activism owned an artistic look, and vice versa.

Eventually Bernie strayed out. The phones disappeared up. The phones went down. Enough is enough, he wailed, leaving blank what theres “ve had enough” of. And then he talked about how he wanted to end the war on drugs and campaign investment improve and government that isnt for plutocrats, and how they were going to build a revolution( such an embarrassing term to listen expressed out loud ), and America was going to be a social democracy, by the people of the people.

Sanderss exasperation was the principal fact to be communicated, more than any political material. Trump was about winning again. Sanders was about having lost. The vagueness of American politics is what amazed the outsider. Its all about sensations and God and bullshit. Sanders actually emitted the following sentence out loud: What were saying is when millions of people are working together to rehabilitate both governments we can do astonishing situations. Nothing asks what he made. None asked for numbers. They applauded. Better to take it in the intent in which its thrown, like a Catskills resort comedian.

Sanders prompted me of a line from Seinfeld, perhaps because Larry Davids SNL parody was only a few days old. The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli. When Ben and Jerry make a Bernie Sanders ice cream, I hope its chili and ginger: the delicious hot smell of nasal-passage clearing outrage.

Sanderss speech was much shorter than Trumps. There had already been the music, I guess. I had the impression, as with Trump, that I had traveled many hundreds of miles to look at a mortals mane. Bernie Sanderss hair is as much a statement as Trumps. It consider this to be the “hairs-breadth” of a tenured professor whose wife has stopped nagging him to get a haircut because the nagging doesnt handiwork. You couldnt muss Sanders hair. The ill is just as much an aesthetic as the comb-over. I symbolize it ever searches the same. Somebody is cutting it to sink that course over the ears.

The view from Tampico

As despair has suddenly spread like a fantastic mist over the white people of America, as the white people die off in their extraordinary quantities, the commenters are astonished, a little bit, but they have no plan of action. No policy proposals aim at reforming the lives of white people.

How could they? If you believe the Case and Deaton report, white people are victims of their own advantage literally. Their cherished claim to own guns, and the enormous increased number of the ownership of weaponry, means that their suicide strives are more effective. They have more access to opioids because doctors are more likely to trust white people with them. They have the money to draw themselves lonely and booze.

I recollect reading a piece from buzzer robs formerly, the kind that circulates on Facebook because it chimes somewhat unique in its predictable virtue. The first act of violence that patriarchy requests of males, she wrote, is not savagery toward dames. Instead patriarchy requisitions of all males that they involve is psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional specific areas of themselves.

Her compassion is admirable, glorious even, but also inaccurate. No one is more psychological than a piece-of-shit white man. They are sentimentality personified. How else can so many be moved to violence over the absence of a Christmas tree on a Starbucks cup?

That dream, that white reverie that smells like peppermint and penchants like strawberry shortcake, comes with a cost of shit. If you take shit, if you eat shit, if you live through the shit, if you live the stupid wars and the meaningless errands, you should be sure of who you are and what you deserve. And “if youre not” sure and you have not received what you deserved, why did you take and eat and subsist all that shit?

Un-harvested corn stands south of Council Bluffs, Iowa. Image: Nati Harnik/ AP

In the aftermath of that spate, the choice, I belief, is either to be proud to be grey, which is a word of lunacy, or to fantasize a post-racial cosmopolis, which is a kind of make-believe, or to be ashamed. So much easier to forget those choices, or to shelve endlessly the choosing, or to debate the difficulties of preferring infinitely, because grey male flesh is not under mortal threat, as the chassis of pitch-black men or the flesh of the status of women. Our organizations are safe. Our torsoes are the threat.

In medieval empires, the territory involved the existence of a doubled figure, one for the real world and one for the symbolic. There was the flawed and mortal person of the king, which sobbed and shat and screwed and died, and then there was the Body of the King, sacred, pure, indestructible.

Race generates us all double mass, double consciousness in WEB Du Boiss phrase, whatever you want to call having to live mortally through the judgement of others. The brand-new grey distortion, the sickness at heart, the pathology, may simply be the arrival of the awareness of two bodies: the dizziness and nausea that arrive with the onset of doubled eyesight.

Because they have to be like everybody else, their mettles are breaking in half.

The morning after the Sanders rally, I noted enough forte to look in the reflect at my grey and male organization, to probe its mortal and symbolic quality. At the angle of my groin, where it had been tingling, a dark-brown patch spilled like spoiled milk down my scalp. A wide-cut chocolate-brown spot determined like post-climate change Florida in the angle of my thigh. Instant, I knew I would die. And the next minute I started driving back to Toronto, to my bride and children, body of my flesh.

Bernie Sanders wants a revolution to overthrow casino capitalism but the problem, or maybe only the first trouble, is that the American beings enjoy casinoes. They cant construct them fast enough. On the road from Iowa, I transferred at least a dozen, a dozen Fun Cities of various types of shapes and sizings, enduring various gossips about Trump and Sanders. The highways of Illinois are a unique vision of the workings of human rights hope a roughly boundless mart for addiction and its dry. Strip clubs or fried chicken or gambling or faith or rehab or cancer treatment. The I-9 4 communicated right to the unwounded mas the promise of handled carbohydrate and pussy, or saving from them.

There was one other entertainment on the route dwelling: Ronald Reagans birthplace in Tampico. The glamour of the landscape around those towns, for some reason, has never been properly glamorize. There are no tourist buss to these fields, as there are to the ocean or the mountains, but the landscape is every bit as sublime. Reagans childhood extended in the loin of the Continent, the splendid hinge between the industrial core of the Great Lakes and the agricultural heartland. The historical recognition of his presidential tombstones has been consumed by fantasies of small town life but it is a landscape of whitewashed houses against the undulating emptiness, a country roiling with nightmares. You can depict Reagan as a boy in these fields, fantasy of movies and America vast screens on which he had been able to activity himself. The superhighway moves like a flow of praying through an ancient dream.

The ancient nightmares are still so vivid here. In the United States, 240 -year-old writings can be recited by soul by people who cannot be described as trained. Documents written by men who owned slaves are spoken of as if we are able to solve the problems of today and tomorrow and any imaginable future no matter how remote.

Thomas Jefferson was held that the Constitution should expire after 19 times, so that the dead would not have ascendancy over the living. That fate seems to have arrived. The Americans are in constant disputes with haunts and their the talks with dead beings are most powerful, most relentless, at precisely the points where they are most ludicrous. They nation defiantly that all men are created equal when any casual observer of life knows they arent. They claim that men and women should be judged by the content of their reference, when nobody can know the content of anothers character. These dreamings, these inabilities, are the absolute and real organization of their nation. And the reveries are so entrancing that its ambiguous whether the problem is that the Americans think you are, or that they dont. Its supremely childish, either way.

Back in Toronto, my bride took a look at the chocolate-brown spot on my groin and mailed me to a doctor, and medical doctors told me it was a rash from leading too much, and I had been given the greatest gift anyone can hope for, in this time and this lieu. I had been forgiven, for a while, for my body.