#and 4) there were way too many light switches and some of them did not turn on lights.

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 8: Never Be Sorry

From: The Rainmaker Series

Pairing: Mob! Steve x Forensic Scientist! Reader

Summary: There’s a lot to apologize for, but some things happen for a reason

Word count: 6,323

Content/warnings: mob themes, gun mentions, swears, yelling, tough love, interrogation, punching, slapping, convincing-ish arguments?, fires, lots of time switching between the past and present, angst, sass

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this next chapter! It takes place at the same time as chapter 4 of Handiwork and Chapter 11 of YCMBWH.

Your feedback is appreciated in all forms! Comments, reblogs, and asks are golden💗

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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“Everything’s Fucked.” You spoke through gritted teeth, arms crossed, looking out the window. The open fields were whizzing by in the early morning light as Number Five drove you home in Bucky’s car, leaving him and Steve at the farm to clean up after the events of the previous night.

It was per your insistence that you stay until Curtis was found, despite having to get called in to the office for this Sunday afternoon. As much as you wished to stay back and ensure Curtis and Cherry were alright, you had a job to do. Sure, Steve and his goons could’ve called off for you like they did the last time, but you couldn’t risk the association with them, not anymore. Not when so much else in your life was at stake. And honestly, you weren’t sure how much more time you could stand to be around people. Your last straw was on the verge of snapping.

Late last night (aka early morning)

You sat in the hay loft of one of the small barns on the farm, feet swinging from the rafters as you watched the scene below. You observed the two men who crossed you, crossed Curtis as they sat in metal chairs, tied with fresh rope, one of them squirming, the other calmly watching the scene with a mischievous smirk on his face.

There was no way it was genuine, though. You knew they were going to lose. You had heard all about the the abilities of Bucky in the city from Five when you cornered him upon your return from the bar. You knew men were tearing down Lloyd’s organization as this entire scene was occurring, and you knew Bucky would get what he wanted. Apparently he had a reputation for that. How it flew under your nose for so many years, you weren’t sure, but it meant he was really good. Which might’ve also meant you weren’t as good as you thought, but that was a thought you tried to push from your mind, despite the way it kept creeping in.

Bucky was circling the two men, akin to a shark, crisp suit adorned, taking the place of the jeans and flannel shirt he borrowed for the bar. Steve was wearing the same, and your previous disdain for that formalwear was growing back and burning your throat. Sure, the farm clothes were comfortable, but you knew that would’ve made them too vulnerable, which wasn’t gonna fly in a mob interrogation like this. So suits it was. Gone was the simple pleasure associated with the old, worn clothing. This was all business.

The same went for you, except in your case, business meant comfort. The second you got back from the bar and entered the farmhouse, you shucked the dress off your body and weant straight for the laundry room, borrowing a pair of Bee’s jeans and an old flannel of Curtis’s that was sitting on top of the pile, the extra material tucked into your waistband as it bloused over your body. It was perfect for a crisp night like this, and you were sure he wouldn’t mind. Plus, who knew how dirty you were going to get at this point? You were literally in a barn.

This interrogation was going nowhere, though. Lloyd was fucking smug as ever and Cole was being a whiny bitch. And worse even, after rolling Lloyd’s name around in your head for an hour, it all made sense. Hansen. As in Lillian Hansen, criminal defense attorney that you abhorred, despite the fact you luckily never really had to deal with her. But you knew how much Scott couldn’t stand the lady, and you imagined Andy felt the same. Ugh, Andy, or should you go back to calling him DA Barber now, who was probably on Steve’s payroll. And probably Scott, too! Was there anyone left that you could trust to tell you the truth!? It looked like you were the only one who you could have faith in anymore. And maybe Cherry? But now, you were gonna use that rage and that self-reliance to get some results.

You swung down from the rafters and landed on strong legs in your boots on the dirt floor. Bucky had just gone over to greet Cherry who had walked into the barn. This was your open opportunity to get what you needed out of these pricks.

You stalked towards the men in the metal chairs, your face showing the vengeance these two were sure to face soon, if not by your hand, then by the mob’s. Your eyes narrowed and shoulders squared as you looked between the two men. You hated them more than you hated even Walker for what they had a part in. More than spoiled milk, more than being left out of the loop. More than Steve.

You were grateful for the way the corner of your eye caught Bucky’s arm barring Steve from approaching you. He had already messed up enough and taken choices from you. This wasn’t another thing you needed taken away. You would deal with it your own way as you stepped in front of Cole.

“I’ll give you one more shot. I’m sick of watching this dance. Where. Is. Curtis?”

A stuttering voice came out of Cole. “I-I don’t know.”

You rolled your eyes. Of course he didn’t. What a dipshit. The kind who doesn’t know basic science or who to trust. But you guessed, at this point, you didn’t either. You raised your arm.

Smack. In a flash, his head was tossed to the side.

“Wrong answer.”

If Cole wasn’t going to give what you needed, maybe Lloyd could, or maybe he and his tight lips could be the vessel to get the Turner heir to squeal.

You took a step to your left, putting yourself directly in front of Lloyd.

“Where?”

Your voice was even and low. Calm, yet rage-lined. You were so sick of all this shit. You had no room to feel sad or worried anymore. All that was left was anger. At the situation, at yourself. It filled you, but it fueled you. Lloyd shook his head, paired with his shoulders that jumped up and down with laughter. Your fists tightened at the way you could tell he wasn’t taking you seriously.

“Oh, come on, Pumpkin. You’re a smartie. Bet you’re a sweet peach just like your friend, too, but I’m not giving up whe-“

Punch. Right to the jaw. It was almost in slow motion as Lloyd fell to the hay floor in a heap with a dull thump and a rustle. You had pinpointed the right spot and knocked him out cold. Your eyes quickly fixed on Cole again, seeing a new wave of fear had swept across his face.

“Is that motivation enough for you to help us now?”

He furiously nodded, but then looked back over his shoulder at Cherry. “I’ll talk to her.”

You could see the surprise on her face, but he was in no place to make demands. Just as you were about to speak up, Steve’s voice filled the barn.

“No way. You lost your right to negotiate when you let Lloyd cross that line. You talk to me or you don’t have a tongue to talk anymore. Got it?”

You watched Cole gulp in fear. That was on him for refusing to deal directly with you, and now he got Steve, who you didn’t even know the capabilities of, never having witnessed him in this environment before. All of the unknowns hitting you at once were too much. You had to get out of there, so you turned on your heel and swiftly exited the barn, fast walking away. Anywhere else.

You grumbled and shook your head as your boots brushed through the tall grass. “Fucking dumbass mobsters.”

Present

The mid-morning sun was high and bright in your eyes as you continued on the highway back home. You were exhausted, but things would get better once you got back to work. Right? They had to.

You turned in your seat, cracking your back and doing your best to stretch in the confined space. You took the opportunity to reach around, too, opening the glove compartment, shifting items around.

Peter was attempting to keep his eyes on the road, but his gaze kept flashing to you. “Everything alright, Miss Decks?”

You groaned in frustration, rifling through the drinks in the center console. Of course it was a cooler.

“Where does Bucky keep the sunglasses? He’s gotta have an extra pair somewhere. Rich bastard is rarely unprepared, I know it.”

Peter reached up near the rear view mirror and popped open a sunglasses holder where you saw a pair of dark frames.

“Ah, thank you, Five.”

You grabbed them and closed the holder, before sliding them on your face, crossing your arms, and scooting back down in the passenger seat. There was still a ways to go, and this was a little better so you didn’t go blind.

Just as you started nodding off for a nap, you felt a buzzing in your pocket. You let out a big sigh and pulled out your phone, rolling your eyes when you saw who it was: Bee. You groaned as you hit the button to answer the call, putting it on speaker in case there was something she had to say to Peter.

“What?”

There was a deep breath taken on the other side of the line. “Well good morning to you, too, Sunshine. How’s the drive going? You kind of left abruptly.”

You continued to stare out at the road, more cars having joined alongside you as the day continued.

“Yeah. Couldn’t waste anymore time. Had to get back for the shift they need me for this afternoon.”

You heard her hum, knowing exactly what her face was from that noise. Most definitely tight-lipped and skeptical.

“Yeah, okay. And this isn’t you running away from your problems, right?”

You were silent for a second. She didn’t need to call you out like that. You were fine. It was all…fine. Maybe if you could convince her of that, you could convince yourself, too.

“What problems? We got Curtis back. Bucky is gonna help you figure out everything to keep your farm and then some I bet. No issues here except me having to go to work.”

It was Bee’s turn to stay silent now. It’s not like she was ever an excessive talker, but both of you knew that if she wasn’t gracing you with a response, she could see right through you and was waiting for you to state the conclusion on your own. Her silence drove you crazy.

“Okay, fine! I’m going back to my job to drown myself in test analysis reports and probably straining my eyes at the microscope again. Is that what you wanna hear?”

She let out a dry laugh from the other end of the line.

“While I admire the hustle, partner, you know it’s not. I wanna hear you talk about exactly what’s going on with a certain blonde puppy that’s pouting in my living room right now. But…since I love you I can give you good news first.”

Good news didn’t sound like something that could exist right now. But before you could catch more of those thoughts, you were interrupted by the clearing of a throat next to you. Oh right, Five was driving this car.

“Ugh. Before you speak more, hold on. Because this is between me and you, and I don’t need someone reporting this information to his boss.”

You looked over at Peter and the way his brow furrowed.

“Five, can I count on you to keep whatever you hear in this conversation a secret?”

He simply gave a curt nod.

“Discretion is my entire job description, Miss Decks.”

You sighed. It was exactly what you wanted to hear, but was it just that?

“Yeah, but do you have to report everything I say to your superiors?”

Peter shrugged. “I have to follow their orders…so if they tell me to…yes.”

“But isn’t your primary order right now to protect me? So protect me by not saying anything to Steve. What’s he gonna do? Hold a gun to your head?”

Peter was silent.

“Oh my god, he’s not gonna put a gun to your head, is he!?”

Peter spared a quick glance at you. “Um, I’d hope not. Probably not? No, no, he knows I’d never cross him. Mr. Rogers doesn’t like to get rid of people for no good reason. So definitely not if he knew the order of my silence came from you.”

From the phone in your hand, you heard Bee hum. “Ooooo, Decky, your reputation among the ranks precedes you.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’d tell you to shut up, but I’m actually trying to give you the opportunity to speak right now, and I have no desire to hear more about this hierarchy, so talk before I change my mind.”

Humor reached her voice at the way you were beginning to open up to her again. “Oh I love how you love me. You might regret giving that free rein, but I’ll get on with it. This weekend went to… excuse my language…shit, but I didn’t even get to show you your surprise.”

Your ears perked up. “Bee, you what? When on Earth did you have time for that?”

She made an unsure, drawn out sound. “Well…I didn’t. I’ve had my hands pretty full..it’s um, technically from Cole, but you’re gonna like it.”

You scoffed. “How am I going to like something regifted from that fucking weirdo.”

The annoyance she’d been holding back with your bitter mood was starting to show in her voice now. Something very rare. You couldn’t believe you were actually wearing her patience down. “Decks, can you just be nice for one second!? Don’t make me call you by your birth name, because I swear I will. I’ll use the middle one, too! God. It’s a cow. It’s that cow you always asked for. She’s yours and she needs a name. Please be nice to me. I’m trying so hard right now to help you. Try and shed some light on this terrible situation.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” You shrunk in on yourself in your seat and your voice was almost a squeak. As much as you wanted to be annoyed at everything and how it did truly go to shit, you couldn’t blame it on her. It really wasn’t her fault. And this subject change was kind of nice.

Your voice was still small. “So tell me more about this cow. Mini highland?”

Back was her bright tone. “Yep! That’s the one. Light brown and adorable. You wanna rif on it?”

You sighed. “Um…maybe not right now? But I really do appreciate it. Give that girl a nice spa day for me, will you?”

You couldn’t see it, but you were sure she was nodding on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, yeah. I will.”

Earlier last night (right after returning from the bar)

Steve and Bucky had converted one of the barns on the property into a makeshift interrogation room while Cole and Lloyd were still out cold, Bucky having knocked them out as a result of the fight in the bar. He knew you had driven Cherry home, but had no idea where you were now as he walked around the barn entrance, kicking stray rocks and looking up at the clear sky, littered with stars. All he could think about was sharing that view with you.

Over his shoulder, he could hear the grass rustling from footsteps and suddenly next to him stood Bucky. Steve looked at his best friend with a halfhearted smile, the pain evidently seeping through. It wasn’t going to be an easy night by any means, but Bucky knew it was much harder for Steve than him. Steve sighed, comfortable enough to speak his mind. He had to get this out, voicing something would keep him from combusting.

“It’s so beautiful. All the times I’ve been out here, I haven’t gotten the chance to look up at the sky at night without all the light pollution. Decks would love this. I bet she knows all the constellations.”

Bucky let out a small chuckle at the obsessive thoughts of his friend. He had a point, though, and he felt it a little more as he heard Bee walk up behind him, slotting her fingers between his own and setting her head on his shoulder. Steve continued to stare upward with a small, wistful sigh as Bee spoke over the light chirp of the crickets.

“She does. She took an astronomy elective in college. The stars are no use enjoying alone. You should be staring up at them together, but she needs to come to that conclusion on her own now that she knows everything.”

Steve nodded, huffed, then wiped his tired eyes with the heels of his palms, finally dropping his head.

“Yeah, you’re right. But I’m going to keep trying. I have to.”

Bee clicked her tongue and looked over at Bucky, responding to Steve. “As you should. Sometimes the best things are the ones someone teaches you to work a little extra for.”

Present

“Now it’s your turn, Decks. What’s really got you twisted?” Bee’s bright voice was louder than you’d like on the phone speaker.

You grumbled your response under your breath.

“What? I couldn’t quite catch that?”

You sighed and took a sip of water from the bottle you pulled out of the cooler, preparing yourself to finally voice the feelings you’d had cooped up inside.

“God, Bee this is so fucking embarrassing. I was stupid and blind. That’s what I’m so mad about, Curtis aside. It was all right in front of me the entire time. I should’ve seen it coming. I mean, Bucky, Steve, Lillian, Lloyd. They were all right there! And I missed them! I’m a terrible civic servant. I should just rescind that application I sent to the FBI.”

You huffed after having said your peace, but were glad the phone wasn’t up by your ear when her voices busted through the speaker again.

“WAIT, you applied to the FBI!? Decks, why didn’t you tell me?!”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, didn’t feel right at the time when I was at your house. And I didn’t want it over call or text in case the NSA or someone else was listening, but what does it matter now? I’m a terrible investigator.”

You thought for a second before speaking up again. “I shouldn’t have tried to make all this for myself. Maybe my mom was right and I should’ve looked for a husband a long time ago. Settled down or something and stopped pushing to have more. The world’s been trying to tell me that’s all I’m good for, but obviously even that’s something I mess up.”

“Ugh, Decks. You’ve gotta stop with that malarkey your mom fed you. Sure, she’s great and she stayed home once she found a husband, but that doesn’t have to be you. You’ve told me several times you don’t want that to be you. If that’s what you want now, great, but I know you and I know it’s not. I think you should keep going for your goals. You’d be great in the FBI.”

You wanted to smile at the compliment, but you felt like a fool. “Would I, though? For the several reasons I just told you? Plus, even if I were to get in, they do background checks. And interviews of family and friends. How’s it gonna look if my best friend is involved with the mob? And so is that guy that I kissed, like twice, but wanted to do way more than kiss with? And oh yeah, his best friend, which also happens to be the aforementioned best friend’s boyfriend? Also mob. And let’s add another friend getting kidnapped by a dirty lawyer, once again, mob, to the list. Can’t hide that.”

Bee sighed in contemplation. “Well, uh, actually, you can. Technically on paper I’m a produce contractor for Bucky’s restaurants. That’s why they’ve got all the businesses, bestie.”

“But even if that does work for the interview process, my luck won’t roll on forever. So maybe cut ties are for the best. But also, do they really even matter? Like, not really at this point. Nothing matters. I’ll just stay in the city, do my little science experiments like a monkey for those fuckwads like Walker, and maybe get a cat. It’ll be grand.”

Bee almost growled. You were sure it was terrifying in person. “Can you just stop feeling sorry for yourself!? I didn’t want to have to pull out the tough love but you leave me no choice. Yeah, this whole thing is fucked up. You got lied to, and I’m sorry for that. But honestly, nothing was fake. I’ll tell you that for a fact. And I know you know it, too. You can join the FBI if you want. You can keep your digital footprint and paper trail clean, and you can find happiness on your own terms. I’m this close to saying I’m sick of this sour behavior, Decks. If anyone can find their way out of a tangled mess like the one you think you’re caught up in, it’s you. So like you always do, put your head down and stop complainin’!”

You didn’t want to dignify this all with a response, so she kept going, but something on the other end of the line was trying to get her attention. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. But you know where I stand. On all of this. On you, on Steve, on your job. You can call me whenever, just think about it and stop selling yourself short. I know you’ve got this whole hard, tough exterior going for you, and it’s great. I love it, because I know the softness underneath. But don’t let that all harden, too. I can see you want it to because yeah, this all hurts, but that’s not gonna help your pain. It’s just gonna trap it there.”

What the fuck was this wise sage advice? She was turning into her uncle slowly. You were sure of it. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean she was wrong, though, but you didn’t want to hear it. So you simply put your hood up and pulled the strings tight. Her voice held a tone of disappointment, but also empathy at your continued silence; it was softer now.

“I love you, and I care for you, and I want you to know, I never would have let Steve get that close to you if I didn’t think it could bloom into something amazing. For both of you. It’s beyond just having someone else there. I know you’re mad, but maybe give him a chance. Okay? I’ve really gotta go now. Bye.”

The dial tone signaling the end of the call filled the car. You watched as Peter’s hands adjusted on the wheel and the city skyline came into view.

The thing was, after getting all of that out to Bee and listening to her, you realized you weren’t really mad, but it all just hurt. It was a pain that came from heartbreak. Someone you trusted let you down; multiple people. But you weren’t sorry about how you acted because of it. And to your surprise, you weren’t sorry about much that had happened at all, but for now, you needed to focus on you.

Late last night (after the interrogation)

Steve stayed light on his feet as he ducked and made his way through the tall grass of the farm field. After your…. convincing argument… as to why Cole should speak up, he spilled everything to Bucky and Steve. And it was everything. The extent of his deals with Lloyd, his original plans to overtake Bee’s farm, the true financial state of his own empire, and the fact that he and Lillian were seeing each other. Which was…frankly, more than Steve was willing to hear.

All of that information, though, led him to one of the newer locations of the Turner farms. One that specialized in cattle feed and storage, so no live animals on the property, just fallow and crop fields, and several barns and silos.

Steve rushed through the tall grass, flanked by Bucky and his men, giving silent hand signals as orders. They were to make as little of a scene as possible, which would’ve been successful if Lillian’s men hadn’t made a mess of everything. Shooting without silencers, screaming, making the entire scene evident to any onlookers. They were lucky they were in the middle of nowhere. Someone might just mistake it all as a farmer’s altercation with a coyote.

After having taken care of the two guards outside one of the barns while Bucky and his men handled the rest of the area, Steve was on alert as he slid the barn door open on the largest of the several buildings. The early morning light lit up the dim barn, illuminating Curtis’s face. Steve wanted to feel relief but he had to make sure Curtis was alright first. He surveyed the area as he approached.

Out in front of him, Curtis squinted and spoke with a raspy voice. “Steve?”

Steve gave him a small smile, surprised when Curtis’s face fell a little flat, not giving much emotion.

“Hey there, partner. I’m here for retrieval service.”

He walked around behind Curtis and crouched down, pulling the knife out of his breast pocket, flicking it open, and cutting the wrist restraints. Curtis immediately brought his hands to his front, rubbing the tender area.

“Did you get Lillian? She was outside. And all the guards? Is everyone else okay? How’s Cherry? Decks? Bee?”

Steve walked around to Curtis’s front, crouching once again to begin sawing at the ropes that held his ankles.

“The girls are good. Safe on the farm being guarded, but I think they can handle themselves. Your girl has taken this quite well all things considered.”

Steve broke through the ropes and looked up at Curtis’s face. There was a cut on his cheek that appeared to be bruising slowly.

“Lillian got you pretty good, huh? Don’t worry, we’ve got her now. And Lloyd and Cole. They’re getting delivered back to an old friend in the city as we speak. Probably won’t have to see their faces ever again. That’s a blessing.”

Steve thought back to Lillian meeting him and Bucky at the edge of the property when they first arrived, gun and singular henchman at the ready, easily overpowered by the two of them. Backup must have been lagging. They were easily set in the back of one of the SUVs in the brigade to be sent away. Good riddance, she was terrible and Curtis didn’t even know the half of it.

Curtis nodded in assent. “You could say that again.”

Steve looked Curtis once over, checking for any more injuries, satisfied to not see anything too bad. She must’ve been planning something terribly drawn out and he was lucky she never got there. “Can you walk?”

Curtis nodded and groaned as he threw his hands to his knees and pressed out of the uncomfortable metal chair.

“Yeah…you never really answered all of my questions, though, city boy, at least not fully….”

Steve internally winced, hoping that would squeak past, but it didn’t. He walked with Curtis up to the edge of the barn, peeking out to check if the coast was clear and speaking into an ear piece, indicating Curtis had been picked up and was ready for transport. He nodded with confirmation and his shoulders relaxed a little, although Steve grabbed the gun from the holster on his hip just in case, keeping it low as they shuffled out into the open field. One could never be too cautious of Lillian, but this didn’t seem like a plan that was thought out very well.

Steve and Curtis stepped out onto the land of one of the Turners farms. It was a newer one, a shame, yet somewhat satisfying by how much of it was on fire right now. The barn behind them was already up in flames, per the boss’s orders.

Steve led Curtis back to his black SUV parked on the gravel road, but looked at the farmer with confusion as Curtis took it upon himself to go towards the driver’s seat, despite the way Steve was very evidently guiding him towards the passenger side. Curtis held his hand out for the keys expectantly. Steve was nervous, he didn’t like the look on his face one bit. It was stern, demanding, and…protective? And it perfectly matched his vocal tone.

“Come on. While I drive home, you’re gonna walk me through your plan to get Decks back. If the next time I see her, she’s as mopey as she’s been this weekend, or worse yet, this hardens her, you’ll have hell to pay.”

Steve sighed as he settled into his seat. “Okay, okay. But I think I’m gonna need a lot of your input. Just be nice about it.”

Curtis raised a skeptical brow at Steve as he pulled out onto the country road. Steve wished he could crawl out of his skin. He might have just risked his life to save Curtis, but now he was on edge, faced with having to confront not only what he did wrong, but how he planned to fix it, and the fact that it may never be good with you again.

In Steve’s extended silence, Curtis decided to speak up, one hand on the wheel to slightly turn his body.

“You know, Steve, I’ve always been a little skeptical of you.”

Steve’s heart was beating fast. He wasn’t blind. Something about the two of them just never clicked.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I think you and I just don’t understand the way each other ticks. I don’t know why you do the things you do.”

Steve cleared his throat, turning towards Curtis to hear more.

“Way back when, Decks dated a friend of mine. It didn’t really go anywhere, but I knew I didn’t like it and I wasn’t sure why.”

Steve nodded in anticipation to where this was going.

“I came to realize it was because I was protective, because I know her. And I know she’s tough, but there’s a lot more vulnerability under that surface. And from that moment, I saw, too, that anyone who dated her without taking special consideration for that wasn’t my friend. Anyone who didn’t bare their own intentions and thoughts like I knew she was bound to do, wasn’t a friend.”

Steve shifted in discomfort. “So you don’t think I care? You don’t think I’m honest?”

Curtis blew out a breath. “I can tell you care, but I think you were a little too comfortable withholding the truth from someone who put their inner self on display for you.”

Steve nodded in understanding. He knew what he did was wrong, but he had no idea what the true gravity of it was.

“So, you got anything more to say about it, buddy? How are you going to apologize? How will you say you’re sorry and deserving of her?”

Steve wiped a hand down over his face.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe send her something? Some food, whatever she might want? Do you know what she might want? A car? A-“

Curtis stopped him right there. “I don’t think so. You can’t buy her forgiveness. How are you showing it to her? Plus, you can’t give her a car. The FBI will flag your connection to her real quick and I won’t let your feelings and lack of knowledge make a smudge on her background check when she just sent in that application.”

Steve sighed. He had no idea you applied to the FBI. Heck, he just learned only a week ago how you got your nickname. It seemed like he was so taken aback with your chemistry, and with hiding his identity, that the two of you skipped over each other as people.

“Okay, I-I didn’t know that. What do I do to show her, then, though?”

Curtis laughed dryly. “That’s for you to figure out. And sure, it could come in the form of gifts, but more so, it should come in the form of you. Do something that shows you’re willing to go by her pace, to learn the way she works and lives her life, not that you’re trying to fit her into yours, or worse yet, have her be an accessory to everything else you have going on. Decks is someone worth prioritizing.”

“Yeah, I know. Fuck. Well then it seems like I’ve got some work to do.”

“Big time. Now, my turn, because I wanna know the extent of hell you and I may have gone through together in another sense. Tell me what Lillian was like growing up.”

Steve smiled a little in the corner of his mouth. Maybe once he fixed it all with you, he and Curtis could get along after all. “Well, I’ll tell you what. I’m a saint compared to her.”

Curtis snickered. “I figured, golden boy.”

Earlier this morning, just before your departure

You shuffled around upstairs in the farmhouse, gathering the few items you came with in preparation to head back home. You knew the boys were out getting Curtis with cautious optimism they’d be back any minute. Bee and Cherry were downstairs, cleaning up the dishes from breakfast as you packed.

As you looked out the window, you saw an SUV turn off the dirt road and onto the driveway. You finished shoving everything else in your bag, slung it over your shoulder and went down the steps. When you got there, you saw Cherry walking out the front door as Bee was digging a broom and dustpan out of the closet.

You dropped your bag on the bench to scope the area, morning light glowing through the curtains. Your survey was cut short, though.

“Decks, be a dear and hold this dustpan for me, won’t you?”

You silently nodded, squatting down and looking at the shattered coffee mug. Bee didn’t seem on alert, though. She seemed relieved, and that’s when you heard Curtis’s voice on the other side of the door. You perked up before going to throw away the ceramic shards.

Just as you were dusting off your hands, the front door creaked open revealing Curtis a little battered and bruised, but walking just fine. As Bee put away the broom, you ran up to him and threw your arms around his neck. Your voice was muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“I never thought I’d have to say a statement like this twice in a couple months, but I’m so happy you’re alive.”

Curtis laughed and rubbed your back. “Sure am. And I agree. That’s enough mob business for now.”

You let out a watery laugh, pulling away and letting Bee in to see her cousin. The door remained open and your eyes went straight to your bag again. As you grabbed it and put it over your shoulder, you quickly shuffled out the door, past the two large and suited men, running towards the third one who had agreed to drive you home.

Steve had walked in the house, ready to talk to you, but was caught by surprise when you zipped past him. As Bucky joined the group in the living room, ready to debrief everyone, all Steve could focus on was you. He lurched forward on his feet, shoved by Curtis, and used the momentum to jog down to Bucky’s car where you had already gotten in the passenger seat.

Peter was still standing outside the driver’s side as you looked straight ahead, arms crossed and ready to leave now that Curtis was alright. You had no intention of speaking with Steve, even though he was knocking on your window with a concerned look on his face.

“Decks. Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

You shook your head just barely enough for him to see.

“Please? I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”

You reached a hand out to lower the window just a crack, still not granting him eye contact.

“Sorry for what, Steven?”

He took a deep breath, leaning forward so his one hand sat on the roof of the car, the other bracing the side mirror.

“Sorry for lying. Betraying your trust. Keeping the truth from you.”

You nodded, your lips pursed in slight anger and consideration. You finally whipped your head to face him.

“Did you ever think that maybe I wanted the choice, Steve? To know the truth. Decide whether or not what I felt for you was real by knowing all of you? You took that away from me.”

He nodded, staring down at the rocks in front of his feet. “I know, I know. That’s…..that was bad decision-making on my part-“

“See, but you got to make a decision. I didn’t. There’s a difference there. All that time spent together was a lie and a borderline waste.”

Steve shook his head, the watery blue of his eyes finally rising to meet yours again. “I don’t think it was. All those times with me, they were the real me, and I know they were the real you, too. That’s something I’ll never be sorry for: our time together. But I am sorry for taking the choice of you knowing what I might be getting you into.”

“You should be.” You faced forward in your seat again and rolled your window up, hearing Steve’s demands to Peter through the glass.

Next >

Bonus A/N: ooooooh! What does it all mean!? Hehehe🫣 was Curtis too nice to Steve? Be honest. Was bee too nice to Decks? Should she have pushed her back towards Steve a little harder?

Taglist: @evie-119 @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly @thedonswife13 @mercurial-chuckles @thezombieprostitute

[quintessencewrites]

Yes, Daddy pt. 4

stud! Riri x stud! Shuri x black! fem! reader

Who else did they take together in the backseat of Shuri’s SUV?

How many times did Riri use her tired-ass pick-up lines?

How many girls had gone to Wakanda and been fucked in Shuri’s childhood bedroom?

Warnings: ANGST!! SMUT!!! 18+, spanking, degradation, explicit language, praise kink, daddy kink, mami kink, dom! Shuri, switch! Riri, sub! reader, mentions of cheating, reader gets with a man..., rough sex, edging, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), choking, strap slinging Riri, alcohol use, squirting, fluff, probably some that I missed

Word Count: 13.1k + (you guys have no idea how excited I am about that)

Tags: @inmyheadimobsessed @shurislover @6-noir @ihearttish @vampzxi @verachii @phantomof-themcu @taiiunknown @pocketsizedpanther @shuris3leg @bellaallebbella1

Riri couldn’t remember a time when she’d slept so soundly. Nightmares and restless nights grew up with her, and slumber evaded her, creating a habitual insomniac out of the poor girl. Shooting up from bed in a cold sweat and slight shiver wasn’t out of the ordinary. The creak in Riri’s bed, when she tossed and turned through the night, is what finally caused her roommate to abandon ship and move out.

Riri was free to ignore sleep all she wanted in the comfort of her loneliness. She could turn and toss without complaint. Her bed could squeak and creak as much as she pleased. She could flip her pillow to the cool side over and over and over until the sun came up.

But at that point, why try to sleep at all? 

It didn’t make much sense, so she didn’t. Instead, she filled her night with bodies. A presence to ward off the loneliness. Something to do in the darkness. 

Her bed still creaked and squeaked, and she still tossed and turned, but this time, she wasn’t alone. 

It didn’t matter much to her who the person was; she wouldn’t remember their name in the morning anyway. 

And they’d be out of her bed long before that. Riri didn’t do sleepovers.

Then came along Shuri Udaku.

And Riri had her first sleepover since childhood. 

And her first friend.

And the sleepless nights got better. The nightmares didn’t go away completely, and some nights, sleep still dodged her, but with Shuri present, Riri could rest, really rest, for a few hours. 

They could be at each other’s throats all damn day, but when night came, they held each other in silence, bodies together, fingers laced. The only sound Riri focused on was that of Shuri’s heart against her ear.

On the nights that Shuri spent in her own room, keeping her own company, Riri went back to strangers in her bed to keep her sane until the sun came up.

But those nights were so long gone that she couldn’t even see them over the horizon. Years of doctors and sleep aides, essential oils, and so much melatonin when all she needed was you. 

The weight of your body atop hers, the slow, steady rhythm of your breaths, the way you sighed in your sleep and curled into her. Damned be to the prickles in her arm when your head rested upon it for too long and the way your legs tangled beneath the sheets. 

She didn’t sleep well unless you were in her bed, and she wasn’t afraid to admit that she needed you there. 

The first time you fell asleep there, you saw Riri’s brows relax, the permanent wrinkle that resided between them fading. You made it a habit to take up space in her bed whenever you could, to watch with a slight pride, knowing that wrinkle only disappeared for you.

Riri welcomed the feeling of waking up to you beneath her, your hair in her face, and the scent of you in her bedding. She could wake up with that for the rest of her life and die a happy woman.

So, waking up without you that morning was jarring. The wrinkle returned, and confusion clouded her sleepy eyes. 

You were there when she fell asleep; she was sure of that. The sound of your light snores caused her to doze off. Your bonnet lay abandoned on your pillow.

It only took a moment for her coppery gaze to focus, and when they did, you came into view.

You paced the other side of the room in silence, a trail of heat following the path you’d made in the carpet. Your knee-length braids swung behind you in the rhythm of your movements. The screen in your hand illuminated your darkened face with a faux blue light, but it was enough for Riri to notice the pinch in your brows and the way they drew together the more you scrolled. 

You were far too engrossed in whatever held your attention to notice Riri sit up and rub the sleep from her eyes. Worry was pooling in the depths of her stomach as she looked over at the clock on her desk. The LED numbers were too fucking bright, 1:15 am blaring across the screen.

A groan crept from the back of her throat. You two had only slept two hours, and that itself was a blessing; Riri could kiss her chances of falling back asleep goodbye. 

“Why are you up, ma?” Her voice was deep, groggy, and soft as it traveled across the room toward you. 

Your head snapped in her direction, but only for a moment. “Our phones been blowing up,” you replied lowly, talking more to the phone than to Ri. “Surprised that didn’t wake your ass up.”

Riri glanced at her phone on the desk next to the clock but made no move to grab it. “It couldn’t wait til the sun was up?”

Your silence wasn’t an adequate answer, and dread rose with Riri’s worry. “Is it Shuri?”

She was a part-time college student, part-time princess, and she still had duties back home that couldn’t be tended to across oceans. It was supposed to be a short trip, only a few days to handle her shit and return. But a few days was now two weeks with no end in sight. 

Both you and Riri were feeling the effects of Shuri’s absence, though Riri wouldn’t outwardly admit it. The distance was hard, and the time difference was harder. Days would go by before any of your schedules aligned for so much as a twenty-minute FaceTime. 

Even now, it was nearing the thirty-hour mark since either of you had spoken to the princess.

Riri didn’t think that anything was wrong; Shuri could sure as hell handle her own, and what she couldn’t handle, the Dora Milaje could.

Your scoff was an ugly sound, anger embedded within it, and Riri flinched. “What’s wrong, y/n?”

You crossed the room with quick steps, falling to the bed beside Riri and shoving the too-bright screen in her face. 

“You seen this?”

Riri peered at the phone behind squinted eyes, hoping the blurry image would adjust. 

When it finally did, Riri found herself staring at a video. It was hard to see, clearly taken from the phone camera of a fan’s shaky hands in a dark nightclub. 

Shuri was never hard to spot; Riri had grown accustomed to having to pick the princess out in crowds swimming with people. She looked good, and Riri’s heart beat a bit harder beneath her chest. Shuri sported a black suit like it was uniform; she never failed to impress in them. Dark shades were glued to her face despite her being indoors and it already being dark. 

Riri couldn’t help the brow that shot to the top of her head at the scene playing out for her. She knew Shuri could catch ass; she’d witnessed it more times than she could count, but goddamn.

“Goddamn,” her words parroted her thoughts, strained and breathy. She took the phone from your hand and brought it closer to her face. Ass was being thrown, and Shuri was catching it expertly. They moved in tandem, Shuri with one hand laced around the girl’s waist, the other in her hand. 

Riri couldn’t count how many times she watched the video; she just knew the two of you sat there in silence while it played. That was, until you broke her trance, scrolling further down until an image appeared. 

And once again, it was Shuri, head held high with a jawline sharp enough to slice and a slick smirk accentuating her cheeks. The girl sitting in front of her was resting her head against the panther, eyes shut, lips pursed. Riri’s eyes were bugging out of her head at this point. She was fully awake. 

“Kehlani?” Her gaze shifted between you and the photo, eyeing it as if it would come to life. “She catching ass from Kehlani?”

Your lips were pursed, and you were quick to snatch the phone back from Riri. “It’s all over the place. Twitter, Instagram, damn TMZ.”

“What the hell?” Riri whispered, mostly to herself. How Shuri always found herself in these lucky positions, she had no clue, but Ri made a mental note to start accompanying her on business trips.

“And we getting tagged in this shit across the board, Ri. They calling Shuri greedy, saying she got a harem and shit.”

“What the hell?”

“Some of ‘em saying she cheating on me with you, you with me, and both of us with fucking Kehlani.”

“She ain’ cheating on nobody-” the words trailed off into nothing, Riri stopping short at the venomous look you were currently throwing her way.

“You okay with her catching ass from Kehlani?”

Riri could’ve laughed out loud; what a fucking sentence. 

“Nigga, it’s Kehlani-”

“So?”

“So, I wish I was catching ass from Kehlani-”

Riri wasn’t getting a word in inch-wise in this conversation. You cut her off again, “Okay, let’s say it’s not Kehlani. You okay with her catching ass if it ain’ from me or you? You think she fucking her?”

Riri shrugged, finally reaching for her own phone. “You just described Shuri’s weekends, baby.”

You went silent for so long that Riri looked up from her device to make sure you were still there. She wasn’t expecting to meet your gaze. Your mahogany eyes, usually lit up with a smile, were dull and hot with the inferno that burned behind them. “What?”

Riri recoiled, thrown by the way your question burned her. She rose from the bed slowly, readying herself to backtrack, though, truth be told, she wasn’t sure what she’d said wrong. “What, baby?”

“So when she not here with us,” your index finger pointed from Riri back to yourself. “She catching ass from other bitches?”

“Catching ass, getting ass.” Riri had the audacity to shrug again. “Not like she used to, but-”

Poor Riri should’ve just put her foot in her mouth at that moment. You stepped forward, closing the space between the two of you, and Riri allowed her hands to rest on your hips. The breath she didn’t know she was holding released when you sunk into her touch.

“And you’re okay with that?” 

Riri tilted her head to the side, her tongue swiping her lips before she responded. “We ain’ never been exclusive, baby-”

“We who?”

Riri had to suck back the sigh she was about to release. “Me and Shuri-” 

“It ain’ just you and Shuri no more, Riri-” 

She was unaware of how rough her movements were, of how she lightly scratched you when she reached to cup your cheeks. “Quit interrupting me, baby.” 

You tore Riri’s hands from your face like they burned and shoved her back a step. She stumbled, and you almost reached out to catch her before she steadied herself. Her shocked eyes met the fight building in yours. She could see the deep red line, only about an inch long, that lingered on your cheek where her hands once were. “Shit, baby-” She took a step toward you and you took a step back. “I-I’m sorry.”

Her apology went in one ear and out the other while you tried to level your breathing. The two of you stood perfectly still, gazes locked on one another. 

“So Shuri ain’ just fucking me or you? There are others?”

Riri knew there wouldn’t be any good way to answer, but you gave her no chance to anyway.

“Are- are you-?” You glanced over to her bed, imagining how many other bodies had taken up space in it, wondering how many had lately. 

Riri’s voice was small, pleading, “We ain’ never-” She stumbled over her words.

Your anger was growing, your nostrils flared, and your eyes narrowed. Had you been a cartoon character, steam would have been blowing from your ears. “The two of you gave me the fucking silent treatment until I agreed to go public with you, but we not fucking exclusive?”

Riri had never been so silent, so unsure. 

“Shuri been fucking outside of us? You been fucking outside of us?”

Riri just stared at you. That’s okay, though. Her silence was enough of an answer. 

She felt her heart physically break when your voice did. “And y’all okay with that?”

Riri found her tongue, though it probably would have been better had she not. “You not?”

Her body visibly recoiled when a deep, insincere chuckle left your parted lips. Panic flooded her tiny body when you started moving about the room, collecting your belongings and throwing them into the black duffle you’d arrived with. 

She took barely two steps to reach you, reaching into your bag to throw the contents back to the floor. “Stop, baby, stop!”

You just silently collected your items, not wanting to stay any longer. 

Riri snatched the bag from your hands and turned it upside down, dumping all of your things onto the floor. “C’mon, baby. Listen-” She might as well have been talking to a brick wall, and her already damaged heart broke further at the sight of you on your knees, picking your possessions up one by one.  

She dropped to her knees with you, trying desperately to grab for your hands, which you kept snatching away from her. “Listen to me, baby. Stop, please-”

Her beg was so pathetic it froze you in place, and you allowed yourself to look at her through your lashes. 

“Me and Shuri been doing this for so long, baby, we didn’t know-” She stopped short, halting her words behind her bit bottom lip. 

Riri started again. “I didn’t think-”

“Clearly-”

She ignored your jab and continued. “Me and Shuri ain’ never been exclusive, baby-”

The rest of her sentence floated through the air, never reaching your ears. Her and Shuri. That’s all you were hearing; it sent ice through your veins. Her and Shuri were never exclusive. They weren’t exclusive before you, and they wouldn’t be exclusive during you. 

What a foolish girl you were, to have found this out so late. For a year and nine months, they’d been fucking you and each other, and Bast knows who else. 

Who else did they take together in the backseat of Shuri’s SUV?

How many times did Riri use her tired-ass pick-up lines?

How many girls had gone to Wakanda and been fucked in Shuri’s childhood bedroom?

You searched for the answers behind Riri’s eyes but found nothing. 

She bit back a sob when your hand slipped from hers, but the shock in her face when she saw yours bore a smile dried away all her tears. “Baby?” she whispered.

Your eyes were sad, and your cheeks strained, but the smile never fell. “It’s cool. We not exclusive; you and Shuri never was.”

Riri’s brows drew together. “Did you even hear me-”

One hand rose to silence the girl before you while the other went back to gathering your items from the floor. “I get it.”

Riri’s voice was full of sorrow. “Then why you still packing?”

“I think I wanna sleep in my room tonight-”

“Y/n-“

Something deep in your chest panged hard, hearing your real name roll off her tongue with such dejection. It took everything in you to swallow the feeling down. Your tongue felt like lead, weighing heavy with your next words: “It’s alright. You’ll find somebody else to fill your bed tonight.” 

Your hand waved the words away as though they meant nothing, but they knocked the air straight from Riri’s lungs in a gasp that pained you to hear. 

She watched with wide eyes and a face full of hurt as you stood, turning towards her with your bag thrown over your shoulder and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. 

“It’s cool, Ri.” You whispered with such false confidence you didn’t even believe what you said. “I’ll hit you up later.”

Panic rose like bile in Riri’s throat when you reached for the doorknob. “Baby-“ she tried again. Her plea was so soft it actually stopped you in your tracks. Fictitious hope washed over her when you took a step back, walking toward her. 

Her arms reached toward you out of instinct, waiting for you to fall into them. 

But you didn’t. 

Your lips pressed to her cheek softly, and Riri held her breath. In 21 months, she’d welcomed your kisses, the feeling of your lips on any part of her body. 

This time, she hated it. 

It felt so empty, so final. 

Riri hated it more when you pulled away, further and further, until you were out the door, and there she stood in her dark room, alone, with the video of Shuri at the club playing on her discarded phone on a continuous loop. 

The weight of the world rested heavily on the Princess of Wakanda’s shoulders. She’d only been home for three weeks, but every second there reminded her why she’d left. 

Sure, she missed her family, and she sure as hell missed her lab, but nothing soothed the ache in her chest that came with missing you. 

And yeah, she missed Riri too, but Ri would have to pry that confession from her. 

Shuri had been slacking, which was an unusual occurrence for the girl. She hadn’t come close to keeping her promise of constant contact while she was away, not even daring to count the days since she’d last spoken to either of you. 

That would all change soon, she thought. The Talon Fighter was growing closer to campus, and she could not wait to get back. 

The moment her feet touched American soil, they took her in the direction of Riri’s room. Every time she had spoken to the two of you, that’s where you were residing, so with any luck, she would be greeted with a welcome committee. 

It was the middle of the day, and campus was crowded, with frantic students rushing to class or somber ones leaving. Regardless, it took Shuri close to fifteen minutes to reach Riri’s door in what should have been a five-minute walk. 

Her knuckles rapped against the solid door with urgency. 

When it didn’t open right away, she raised her hand to knock a bit harder, but the door swinging ajar stopped her short. 

Riri had opened the door and walked back to her desk, more interested in whatever she was working on than on who was visiting her. 

“What kind of ‘welcome home’ was that?”

Shuri’s smooth words pulled Riri’s head from her computer, but only for a moment. She didn’t pay the Wakandan any mind as she slipped into the room, shutting the heavy door behind her. “Ri? Hello?”

Riri barely mustered out a “Hey. Welcome home.”

Shuri peered around the room with a raised brow. “Where’s y/n?”

Riri lifted her head long enough to glance at the clock on the wall. “I’m assuming class.” Her voice was whispered and muffled and just didn’t sound like Ri at all. 

She sounded more like the girl Shuri had found crying in the hall all those years ago. 

And that caused the pit in Shuri’s stomach to swirl with dread. 

When Riri stood to retrieve something from the other side of the room, Shuri followed. “You not happy to see me?” She teased, trying to edge Riri back into their usual banter. 

She didn’t take the bait, ignoring Shuri instead. It didn’t look purposeful; Riri just seemed too engrossed in her own thoughts. 

Shuri stepped closer to the smaller girl, closing the space between them until Ri’s back was pressed against the wall, and Shuri’s hand on her waist kept her there.

The other hand trapped Riri’s head in place, palming the wall beside it. Shuri bent from her full height, leaning until she and Riri were face to face, so close that Ri was forced to stare into the mocha chasm that was Shuri’s eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Gone from Shuri’s voice was the sarcasm from before. There was no teasing, no short quips. 

Riri sank into Shuri’s touch, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. 

It was a rare intimate moment between the two, and Riri would rather relish in it, even if for a moment, than ruin it with words. 

But Shuri wasn’t letting up. She removed her hand from the wall, moving it to grip Riri’s chin, forcing their faces closer until their foreheads kissed. 

“What happened, Ri?”

Riri welcomed the softness, even basking in it for just a second before she lightly pushed Shuri away. 

Shuri took the hint, taking a step back but not allowing the space between her and Ri to grow too large. Her eyes swam with concern, searching Riri’s face for an answer her lips weren’t providing. 

Riri’s tiny frame shook with emotion. Her fingers tensed, her hands running across her face with such a desolate sigh it almost sprang tears to her eyes.

“I ain’ seen y/n in bout a week.” Her confession only rang slightly true; she’d seen you around campus, between classes, and in the caf, and each time, you acted like you hadn’t seen her. 

Like you couldn’t feel the intensity of her stare on your back, burning a Riri-sized hole into you with a fiery glare. 

You hadn’t texted, hadn’t called. When she went to your room and knocked, you didn’t answer. 

It scorched Riri to see you going about life without her. Almost like you hadn’t needed her to begin with. 

But Bast, did she need you. Riri hadn’t slept all week, and she knew it was written all over her face. 

The dark circles that decorated her under eyes looked as though they weighed a ton, and the wrinkle in her brow had taken up a permanent residence. 

Shuri paused for a moment, letting Riri’s words settle in the air between them. 

“Fuck you mean you ain’ see Y/n in a week?”

“Exactly what I said.” Riri fell into the chair behind her desk with a thud. 

“How you ain’ see her in a week, Ri? Last time I talked to you-“

“Over a week ago-“

Shuri continued as though Riri hadn’t spoken. “You two were here. Together, I saw you.”

Riri took a beat to take a deep breath and released it slowly before replying. “Yes. And she saw you.”

Confusion riddled Shuri’s sharp features. “She saw me?”

“Yeah, nigga, she saw you. The whole damn internet saw you.”

Shuri was stunned into silence. She knew exactly what Riri was talking about, and wave after wave crashed over her. Embarrassment, disappointment, and confusion rippled, and Shuri’s eyes squeezed shut, hoping to escape the uncomfortable feeling.

“And it upset her?” The end of her sentence fluttered upwards with perplexity. 

The princess hadn’t seen a problem with her actions at the time. She partied often, and she partied hard. Shuri was known for catching ass on a good Friday night, and this had been just that. 

Sure, more girls had seen the inside of Shuri’s dorm room than she might have liked to admit, but she hadn’t been ashamed of it. 

Not until she learned it upset you. 

She really had slowed down, though, since becoming involved with you. Hell, she’d slowed down since she and Riri had started fucking. What used to be one or two girls a night quickly morphed into none over multiple months. 

But Riri didn’t know that. She still thought Shuri’s reputation preceded her, imagining that she was keeping the same company as before. 

In reality, the Wakandan native’s interest in anyone else was long gone. 

Images of your face that night flashed through Riri’s memories. 

You, pacing the room, looking absolutely heartbroken.

You, on your knees, picking up your things. 

You kissing Riri’s cheek before pulling away from her. 

Riri’s poor heart ached at the thought, and in came the now familiar feel of her throat growing tight and her eyes stinging with salty tears. 

She quickly blinked them away, turning to face Shuri with a sigh that sounded like it contained all the world’s sorrows. 

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly. “Yeah, man, it upset her.”

Add disgust to the abundance of emotions Shuri was currently feeling. She cursed herself aloud for making you feel that way. She could just imagine the way you held your head high, refusing to cry with a quiver in your lip that only she would have noticed. 

How you probably departed with a broken smile on your face.

It was eerie how right she was. 

She gulped, attempting (and failing) to wet her suddenly very dry throat. “Did she say anything?” Shuri asked through the scratchiness.

Riri looked over with blank eyes. “Said so much I couldn’t get a word in.” A hush fell between them before Riri spoke again. “We gave her the silent treatment until she agreed to go public, but we ain’ commit to her.”

Shuri winced. Yeah, they had done that…

“She ain’ asking for much, man. She just want us.”

Shuri’s long legs carried her to Riri’s bed with ease. She fell to the mattress with a soft thump before speaking. “Okay,” she said plainly. 

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, Ri. She want us,” Shuri’s shrug left Riri speechless. “She got us.”

Riri’s mouth fell open with the weight of Shuri’s words. “Simple as that?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Riri stood to her feet, letting them lead her to Shuri, still on the bed. Her hands hesitated for a moment before resting on Shuri’s clothed knees, her eyes shining with forgotten tears. “Nigga, don’t play with me right now.”

A small smirk threatened to curve the ends of Shuri’s lips upward. She used one hand to support her weight on the bed and the other to push Riri’s kinky curls away from her face. 

Riri was getting ready to ease into the gentleness of Shuri’s touch when the princess tangled her fingers at Riri’s scalp and pulled hard.

Ri’s head fell back with a sharp tug from Shuri, exposing the entire length of her neck. Her lips parted in shock, and the breath she inhaled had no way to escape with Shuri’s lips so dangerously close to Ri’s ear. 

“You got soft while I was away,” Shuri whispered. It was just the two of them in the small room; no one would have heard her. 

Riri fixed her mouth to say something smart, but Shuri cut her off. “I missed you.”

It was a sincere moment. Shuri’s voice still hadn’t reached octaves above a whisper, and the look she gave Ri was enough to send a tingle down to her toes. 

Shuri hopped from the bed, her hands steady on Riri’s hips before releasing them with a prompt nod. “C’mon. Let’s go get our girl.”

She’d barely made it two steps before Ri’s tiny hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back. “Wait,” she called. 

Shuri turned, her eyes landing on Riri with the same intensity as before. Her chest caved with each deep breath, and her expression looked pained, scared even.

“We doing this? We getting serious bout each other?”

Shuri truly moved with the grace of a panther, retreating swiftly, encapsulating Riri’s face cupped in her hand. 

They were so close they stole each other’s breath. Shuri’s gaze flickered between Riri’s lips and her eyes, not able to decide which was more worthy of her attention. 

Riri’s breathing paused altogether at the sound of Shuri’s chuckle ringing in her ears. “We been doing this how many years, Ri?” Riri’s bottom lip tucked into her mouth clenched between her rows of perfect teeth.

Shuri tutted quietly, using her thumb to roll Riri’s lip back out. 

She didn’t move her finger nor her gaze from Riri’s deep brown lip before she spoke again. “Who’s to say I wasn’t already serious about you?”

The knocking at your door hadn’t subsided, and it was driving you fucking insane. You burrowed further into your comforter, tugging at the heavy blanket until it swallowed you whole. 

You made no conscious movements to answer it. Getting up and going to class had exerted all of your remaining energy this past week, and you didn’t have any left to entertain company. You weren’t getting up until tonight when it was required of you. 

Maybe whoever it was would take the hint and leave. 

They didn’t.

Muffled voices on the other side of the door were your only warning before it opened so harshly that the handle indented into its adjacent wall. 

Your body shot straight up, speechless. The blanket fell, pooling at your hips, and your eyes widened three sizes. 

Riri’s footsteps were nearly silent as she strolled in, hands in her pocket, with a stoic expression. 

Shuri stepped in behind her, and your already large eyes grew to the size of saucers. Hers were glued on you, noticing the way they sparkled at the sight of her. 

The steps she took toward you were timid, and your breath collected in your chest the entire time it took her to cross the small room. 

“Sthandwa,” she spoke directly toward you, her native tongue sounding so much stronger after the time she spent home. 

The tiniest whimper escaped your lips, and the irritation on Shuri’s face was wiped away with a smirk. Her hand made its way to your face, cupping your cheek and smiling even wider when you fell into her touch.

“You missed me,” Her words were low, for your ears only. 

The moment that passed was a shared one, just between you and Shuri. 

You almost nodded, admitting how badly you had missed her.

And then your eyes closed.

And you remembered why you’d put yourself through a week of hell.

You remembered why you were avoiding Riri, ignoring Shuri. 

You remembered why you were going out tonight with someone who wasn’t them. 

And what was a soft smile on your face curled into the nastiest of snarls. 

Your body straightened, pulling your head from Shuri’s hand and retreating until your back touched the wall, and a mountain of pillows distanced you from the princess. 

Her demeanor just about crumbled when your eyes cut sharply from her and landed on Riri, who still stood a couple of feet away with an unreadable expression etched across her features. 

“Y’all broke into my room?”

It was more an accusation than a question, and it oozed with venom. Shuri fought back a flinch, and Riri dug her hand from her pocket, revealing a gold key swinging from her index finger. 

“Not breaking in if I have the spare.”

“It’s breaking in if you weren’t invited.”

Riri tossed her hand back in her pocket and joined Shuri beside your bed, leaning forward until her elbows dug into the mattress. “We ain’ come here to argue with you, y/n.”

Ri had spoken your name more times lately than she had all the months you’d been together, and you hated it. The hairs on your arm stood on end, and your vision turned blood red. 

“Shouldn’t have come at all-” 

Shuri’s hand around your neck evaporated whatever else was about to roll off your tongue. You begrudgingly focused your gaze on her, shocked to see amusement swimming in her eyes. “Who are you talking to like that?”

Your lips remained sealed in defiance, and Riri shook her head with a scoff directed towards you. 

Shuri’s fingertips were digging into the side of your throat, tugging you toward her. It was a gentler touch at first, but then you had to be hard-headed and try to fight it. Her hands gripped tighter, pulling you harder, and the dark spots that started to attack your vision told you to obey. 

You fell on all fours, staring up at Shuri behind lashes so long, they almost touched your brows. She removed her hand, allowing air to reach your lungs again, cursing under her breath. 

“Fuck,” she breathed out. Even Riri had to bury her bottom lip between her teeth to avoid speaking her thoughts aloud.

You looked fucking delicious, seated on hands and knees, glaring up at them. Heat burned deep in Shuri’s chest, heaving with deep inhales. “Come here,” she commanded.

Shuri’s tone left no room for attitude, but that didn’t stop you from having one. Your eyes rolled, and your knees planted in place with a wiggle of your hips.

Even Riri’s brow rose at the action, and she turned to Shuri with a question behind her eyes.

Shuri’s glance at Ri was quick and filled with an unfamiliar husk. She looked back at you, speaking to Riri while her eyes burned such heat into yours that you had to look away. “She wanna be a brat? That’s fine-” The smile that Shuri bore filled your stomach with fear. “We can tame a brat.”

She opened her mouth again, this time to speak to you. “Come. Here.” Her words sent a noticeable chill through your body, and you rose to just your knees, getting ready to swing your legs around and scoot to the edge of the bed, where Shuri and Riri stood.

“Uh, uh,” Shuri shook her head at you, smiling wider at the confusion on your face. She stood taller, shoulders back, spine straight, chin tilted, truly like royalty. “Crawl to me.”

This time, it was your brows that shot to your hairline. The heat that was burning in her belly moved south, and with a gulp, you found yourself crawling, slowly and seductively, until you were face-to-face with Shuri’s torso.

You stared at it for a moment too long, and she fell into a squat, aligning her face with yours. She was so close, the smell of her cologne almost bringing tears to your eyes. You inhaled deeply, wishing you could commit the scent to memory for the next time Shuri left. 

“What’s wrong with you, baby?” She asked sweetly. “Hm? Why you acting like this?”

You were still. 

A minute passed, then another, and you refused to part your lips and address her. 

“Silent treatment, baby? Forreal?”

The room was quiet.

“You being childish,” Shuri mumbled, standing to her full height again. 

She moved to sit beside you, and you watched with interest.

With swift movements, Shuri was next to you, reaching for your wrists.

It all happened so quickly, her tugging your arms sharply until you laid on your belly across her lap. You gasped, further pressing your torso into Shuri’s thighs.

One hand held your wrists out in front of you as though you were swimming while the other caressed your ass through your shorts. 

Her touch was too soft, a stark contrast to the rest of her movements. You made the mistake of relaxing in her grasp, allowing your guard and attitude to fall completely. 

Poor you. 

A sharp slap sounded throughout the room, followed by the sharp sting that radiated through your right ass cheek. And just as quickly as the strike came, it went, covered by Shuri’s soft massage. 

The way your mout h fell open to form a little “O” was so cute.  Shock, and anger, and desire all fueled the fire that was burning in your lower belly, igniting and growing it further.

“We gonna work on you and Riri’s ‘Welcome’ next time, baby” Another harsh slap, this time to the opposite cheek. 

Riri spoke up, her voice sounding like a squeak. “You could always take us with you next time.” She barely got the sentence out without a moan escaping. Her eyes bore into the scene before her, wanting so badly to rub away the pain Shuri was inflicting. 

Shuri smirked at Ri before turning back to land another hard clap on your ass. “What you think, baby? Wanna come with me?”

Her words and her actions weren’t lining up. The way she spoke to you was so tender, as though the three of you sat in a coffee shop having a pleasant conversation. 

The way she assaulted your ass said otherwise. You were writhing under her touch, with a wetness that pooled between your clenched thighs uncomfortably. 

Another slap, then she continued. “We spend weeks together, relaxing by the water. I could take you on the Royal Talon Fighter. Fuck you right on the floor while we’re in the air”.

Another slap. “Riri fingering you in the pool.”

Slap. “I’ll sit you on my throne, where you belong, and eat you until you cry.”

Slap. “Sound like a plan, Ri?”

Riri was in a fucking daze. She could smell your arousal, and it was so hard to resist planting her face between your legs, inhaling your scent deeper. She struggled to mutter so much as a “yeah” in response to Shuri’s question. She wasn’t even sure she’d been listening. 

Shuri’s attention fell back to you, and a deep groan escaped her chest. You were a mess. She could feel how hot your body had grown in the short time you’d been pressed against her. You were still quiet, but her ears picked up on the soft whimpers that you thought no one could hear. Your body was practically vibrating.

An insatiable need swam in your eyes, falling over your cheeks and down the side of Shuri’s leg. 

“That sound like a plan, baby?”

You remained quiet, the sound of her hand clapping your ass echoing in the room. 

“I don’t like being ignored, y/n.” Shuri must’ve lost her mind and left it in Wakanda, using your real name like that. It just made you dig your heels in further, refusing to give her a verbal response.

She shook her head, turning to Riri to speak again. “I been gone three weeks, and you let her get all defiant and shit.”

Riri snapped out of her trance at the accusation. “I ain’ let her do shit-”

“You did,” Shuri removed her hand from your ass to point toward your nightstand. “Grab her vibrator from the drawer and come fix your shit.”

Your head shot up at Shuri’s words. A part of you was relieved the attack on your now swollen ass cheeks had stopped. The other part was full of dread. You needed to fucking come, but there was no way Shuri was going to make it that easy on you. 

She lifted your limp body with ease, shuffling around until you were in her lap, back pressed to her heaving chest. You winced a bit at the stinging sensation that traveled down the back of your thighs, but Shuri’s padded fingertips drawing circles in your abdomen was enough of a distraction for you to relax a bit. 

Her lips peppered up and down the length of your neck, stopping every now and then to nip at your tight skin. “Imma hear that pretty voice one way or another, baby.”

She grinned at the shiver her words sent down your spine and lifted her head to see Riri starting back toward your bed with your massive pink wand in hand. Your knees lifted to your chest without thought, and Shuri planted her hands on them,  prying them apart until the wet spot in your shorts was visible to Ri. 

Her breasts bounced with the way her chest heaved at the sight. Your grey shorts were noticeably darker around the spot that bore your cunt, and your dark thighs glittered with your own slick. 

The sudden cool air that hit your pussy shocked you, and your thighs clenched, trying to close in response. They barely moved with Shuri’s hands in place.

She didn’t even acknowledge your failed attempt, instead nodding her head at Riri. The smaller girl looked as though it pained her to look away from you, and it did. 

“What?”

“Come here.” Riri glanced over you one more time, then started stepping closer to the bed. Shuri ducked her head, taking your ear lobe between her teeth before speaking lowly. “See how she listen the first time?”

Riri rolled her eyes but climbed onto the bed anyway, kneeling beside you and Shuri’s bodies flush against one another. “What?” she asked again.

Shuri let go of your thighs, snaking an arm around your torso to hold you in place while the other tugged on Riri’s curls, luring her closer and closer and closer until she and Shuri’s breaths became one.

Shuri leaned up, pressing her lips against Riri’s with a moan. The delicacy of the kiss didn’t last long, and the strain in your neck as you turned and watched them wasn’t enough to peel your eyes away. 

Riri’s tongue darted out first, sloppily tracing over Shuri’s before she reached to grasp the back of her head and deepen the kiss. 

Your moan at the sight was music to their ears, and Riri pulled away, gracing you with a smile before Shuri’s hand on her chin pulled her back. Shuri’s lips brushed Ri’s as she whispered, “I ain’ get to kiss you properly since I been back.” She let her gaze linger on you with a side-eye before she turned back to Riri. “We had other things to deal with.” 

Riri’s nose scrunched up, her curls swaying to and fro with the shake of her head. “And I’m the one who got soft?” she asked with a scoff. 

Shuri ignored Ri. “Lemme taste her off your lips when you finish.”

Riri’s stare at you was hungry. She hadn’t had a taste of you in so long. Her mouth watered, and her tongue swiped across her lips, leaving behind a sheen. “I’ll think about it,” she mumbled, hopping from the bed.

With the click of a button, your vibrator roared to life, and the whimper that left your mouth was pathetic. Riri stood patiently waiting while Shuri pulled your legs apart once more. Her hands on you felt like fire, and your head fell back onto your shoulder. Her chuckle rang loudly in your ear. “We ain’ even touch you yet.”

But then Riri’s hand grazed your thigh, only enough to pull your shorts to one side and expose your needy center. “Oh, baby, you’re fucking soaked.”

Your hips jutted forward, an impatient exhale sharp in your chest. You knew you were soaked; you needed them to do something about it. 

Riri’s delicate fingers brushed over your lower set of lips before stopping to gently slap it a few times. You splashed around her harsh hits, hissing and curving your hips, hoping to catch her fingers at your entrance. 

Mm, Riri hummed. “This ain’ enough.” She nodded to Shuri, “Lift her legs up.”

Shuri’s hands went from your inner thigh to hooking underneath, folding you in half. Your knees almost aligned with your shoulders, and Riri nodded, satisfied. “There she go. All on display for me.”

She brought the vibrator to your clit without warning, and you screamed. “There go that pretty voice, too,” Shuri stated, levity and lust dripping from her accented words. 

You didn’t have the strength to stay silent anymore. Riri had the violently vibrating toy pressed hard against your swollen bud, and she made no move to let up. Your cunt splashed around the rapid movements, and you knew your orgasm would come fast and hard. 

“So pretty,” Riri parroted lazily. The wetness between her own legs was growing uncomfortable, but her focus right now was wholeheartedly on you.

Your pussy clenched around nothing, and your head dug into Shuri’s shoulder with a dull pain that would become prominent later. “Oh, fuck,” you breathed out, repeating the phrase like a broken record.

This time, it was Shuri and Riri who were quiet, listening intently to your voice and the way its crescendo was built. 

Your chest heaved, and your abs contracted, and you could feel your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. “Shit, shit, shit-” 

And then it was gone. The vibrations stopped, and the glorious orgasm that was about to wreck you washed away. A desperate cry fell from your lips, your glossed eyes staring up at Riri with so many questions. 

“Nah, ma. That was the lowest setting.” She bent down to kiss your cheek. “You don’t gotta come yet.”

Your head shook so fast, it made you dizzy. “I do, I do.”

“Oh, you do?” She was mocking you. Your mouth opened with a smart-ass response that was quickly forgotten when stronger, harsher movements attacked your clit. 

Riri had turned the intensity up, and the vibrations were radiating through your abdomen and your thighs. Your head fell back once more; your jaw stuck slack. “Oh fuck,” you roared. There was no way the people minding their business in the halls weren’t hearing you, but Bast, did you not give a fuck. 

“Fuck, Ri, fuck,” you drawled out with a whimper. Her name had fallen from your lips with ease, and both the girls focused on you moved quickly to correct that. 

Shuri’s hand roughly grabbed a handful of your braids and pushed your head forward at the same time that Riri pulled it forward with her hand on your chin. She hit the button on the vibrator, and the intensity increased once more. 

Their hands on you wouldn’t allow your head to fall. The spew of screams and curses uttered from your mouth while Riri’s eyes dug into yours as if she could see past them. “Yeah, let’s try that again, baby girl.”

Up another setting the vibrator went, and the cry that came from you sounded like that of a wounded animal. “What’s my name?” Riri asked with all the sass in the world, watching you with stern eyes. 

You didn’t answer, too afraid you’d say the wrong thing. There wasn’t a sane thought in that pretty brain of yours right now, and though you searched and searched, your own name didn’t even come to mind at the moment. 

The intensity climbed higher and higher until Riri hitting the button was mundane. The vibrator was on the highest possible setting, and she was proud of you for handling it. 

Your orgasm didn’t creep back on you with ease; it was about to hit you like a train. Your splashing grew, throwing your slick on all three of you. Your stomach was so tight, you were sure you’d have a six-pack after this, and your body shook like you were possessed. 

Your head was still aligned with Ri’s, but your eyes were long gone, rolled back into your skull. A quick tap at your cheek pulled them back, and you stared at Riri, taking in her tiny frame, covered in sweat (or was that your cum?), with a look so sharp, it cut your gasp short. 

“My name, baby,” she growled out at you, but it was too late. You were coming, soaking the sheets beneath you and Shuri with a long, drawn-out cry. Your body was trembling, a shaky “Ooh, shit,” the only thing that you could think well enough to say. 

Riri held the vibrator flush with your cunt, letting the mix of you squirting and the vibrations splash your taste right to her awaiting tongue. 

The moment felt like it lasted forever, and when you finally did start to come down, Riri removed the vibrator from you, turning it off and discarding it on the floor. 

Shuri sat whispering something in Xhosa in your ear, tracing lines up and down your still shaky legs. 

Your body gave out, relaxing into the curve of Shuri’s before Riri’s tight grip around your throat reawoke reality around you. Her eyes darted around your face, her lips tight, and her brows drawn. She yanked you away from Shuri and closed the space between you and her. 

“What is my fucking name?” She questioned harshly. You’d never heard a sound so sinister come from her, and it turned your good mood foul. 

“Red,” you spat at her. 

In the next instant, her hand released your neck, and she took a step back, eyes still racing, breath still raging.

Shuri removed her hands from your thighs, backing herself into a corner of your bed until she was no longer touching you. “Sana-” she started gently, but you barely heard her. 

All of your rage from before was back, and now Riri was the unfortunate target. “That’s not fucking fair, Riri!” 

She remained silent tense brows raising as she watched you jump from the bed onto wobbly legs. You stumbled but stood your ground. “Yeah, you’re Riri now.”

She wasn’t deterred when you started toward her, hands drawn in fists at your side and chest poking out. “You been calling me by my government since that night in your dorm room, but it’s a problem when I do it?”

Riri's mouth opened, starting to speak, but the look on your face advised her not to. “It’s always a fucking problem when I do it, huh?” You were in her face at this point, and she could see the tears glistening behind the anger in your eyes. 

“You two ignore me for a fucking week until I say okay to the whole damn world know I got not one, but two ‘girlfriends.’” Your hands uncurl to throw air quotes around “girlfriends.”  A grizzly laugh escapes your lips, and the tears start to fall.

“But they not even my girlfriends. I-” Your voice broke, and so did the girls’ hearts. “I ain’ nothing but one of many to them.” You sniff before continuing. “And when I try to get a week to figure that shit out, to process it, you break into my fucking room!”

“You break in and fuck my fucking brains out.” Your hands are shaking as they reach up to wipe away the steady stream of tears. “But you gonna leave here and give the same thing to who the fuck ever.” 

Riri’s silence is starting to irritate you, so you direct the rest of your wrath to the princess. The pillow on your desk chair flies toward her, landing with a thud, and you wish you had the balls to throw something heavier. “And you-”

Shuri watches you cross the room toward her, stopping just short of the bed. “You got me out here looking fucking stupid!” Snot and spit mix with your tears in what you only know as the definition of ugly crying, but you do not fucking care. 

“You got a harem, Shuri? Hm?”

“No-” Her words were drowned under yours. 

“Kehlani, nigga? I can’t-” Your voice cracked further. “I can’t fucking compete with Kehlani. I can’t even compete with the other girls on campus, can I?” You whispered. 

Your hand flew to point at Riri, and she flinched, certain that you’d just flung something in her direction. “She the only one who don’t got any competition. It’s always been Ri and Shuri.” You chuckle again. “Y’know what she told me?” Your laughter grew until you were hiccuping behind giggles and sobs. “When I was in her room upset about the viral video of my ‘girlfriend’ dry humping somebody else in the club? She kept saying ‘Me and Shuri’ this and ‘Me and Shuri’ that.”

You looked back toward Riri. The venom in you had run dry, and all that was left behind was sadness. “‘Me and Shuri ain’ never been exclusive’” You took her words and threw them back at her; it was the worst thing you could’ve thrown. 

“‘Shuri catching ass, getting ass; those are just her weekends,’” you repeated what Riri had said to you with bile in your throat. “She laughed about it.”

Shuri’s eyes darted towards Riri, who looked as though she were about to crumble to the floor. 

You closed your eyes, refusing to look at either of them any longer. “Get out,” you whispered.

Shuri rose from your bed, taking tender steps toward you as if you would explode if she were to move any faster. “Baby, I- We-”

You sighed, rubbing your eyes until they were red. “There it go again; ‘we’. ‘We’ is not Shuri, Riri, and me. ‘We’ is Shuri and Riri. It’s always Shuri and Riri.” You shook your head, your braids swinging around you. “I’m not doing this no more. Get out.”

Your voice was eerily calm. As though you were making small talk about the weather and not breaking their hearts. 

“No-” Shuri spoke again. “Baby, listen-”

You glanced at the clock above Riri’s head, avoiding looking at her altogether. “Get. Out.” You emphasized, stalking past them both until you were entering your bathroom and starting the shower. “I need to start getting ready. Thanks for ruining my nap.”

“Getting ready for what?”

You looked at Shuri deliberately as the next words from your mouth rang through the air. “I have a date.”

“Like hell you do.” 

Both of your heads whipped to Riri standing on the other side of the room. Your confession had broken her trance, and she approached you quickly, grabbing for your hand. 

“I do,” You snatched away from her touch roughly. “And I need to wash you off me. Both of you.”

“Y/n, you play too fucking much-” 

Your neck snapped toward Riri. She didn’t back down when a scoff fell from your lips, and you walked to her until your chests were touching, and she had no choice but to look up at you. 

Sadness still decorated your pretty brown eyes, but Riri was more focused on the growl deep in your voice. “What’s the matter, Ri?” You darted your gaze back to the clock once more. “Your eight o’clock cancel on you?”

Your hair whips her in the face as you turn back to Shuri. “Kehlani couldn’t make it?”

Neither of them speaks, just watching you head back to your bathroom door. “I’m getting in the shower,” you announce. “Can’t have all this dried cum on me.” The door starts to close, but not before they hear the last of your sentence. “He might want a fresh slate.”

Riri sat in the VIP box of a club she did not want to fucking be in, nursing a glass of rum that she was barely sipping on. Anger on a sober Riri was enough to land her in jail; she didn’t need to be drunk tonight. 

Shuri sat across from her, eyes scanning the crowd below them as she threw back another shot, growling with the burn cascading down her throat.

She lifted a hand to fix the blazer on her shoulder before looking over to notice Riri had abandoned hers. A dark, lacey fabric clung to Riri’s bosom like a second skin, and Shuri gulped before turning away again. 

“Why are we even here, Ri? She said she was done.”

Riri’s eye-roll was almost audible. “You wasn’t saying shit when you snuck the Kimoyo bead in her purse.” She brought the cup to her lips again, allowing the sour liquor to run over her tongue before swallowing it harshly. “Ion give a fuck what she said. She’s not done; she’s ours.”

They watched you with fury burning behind their gazes as you gyrated in a crowd full of people. Shuri had to convince Riri to remain glued to her seat when your dress rode up a bit, and luckily, you’d pulled it down before Riri had a chance to expose that she and Shuri were spying on you.

They were just there to make sure your date was respectful. You could have this cute lil date, even if it boiled their blood. They’d make sure your clothes stayed on, and you got home safe, and then try talking to you again tomorrow. Or the day after that, or the day after that.

Except, Riri was finding it really hard to stay under the radar. Every time your date slipped his hands around your waist or brought his face a little too close to yours, her feet begged her to move, her fist itching to hit him. 

Him. Of all the ways you could have chosen to spite them, this was by far the fucking worse. 

You’d never shown interest in a dick, yet here you were, grinding up against one. 

Shuri wasn’t sure how much more she could take. She struggled to read your lips from up here when you brought them to his ear to whisper something or when they spread into a grin. The glass cup in her hand was in danger of breaking; Shuri’s grip just kept getting tighter and tighter. 

And even though you weren’t dancing for them, they were mesmerized by you. Your hair was gathered into a high pony, your eyeliner deep and dark, accentuating your big, round eyes. The dress you chose was sinful. It stopped just under the curve of your ass, exposing the length of your thick thighs for him to touch. Had it been any tighter, your breasts would have spilled right out of the deep plunge that reached your belly button; instead, they sat high and (mostly) covered, aside from your pierced nippled poking through the thin fabric. 

Riri had groaned when you first walked in, and that quickly turned into a growl when she noticed the nigga’s hand resting on your hip. 

That was nearly two hours ago, and her expression had yet to change. 

“You don’t wanna chop his hands off?” she asked Shuri over the rim of her glass.

“Of course, I do, sana-”

“Good, then go do it.”

Shuri sighed, putting her drink down and peering over the railing back down at you. Your ass was rolling into the curve of his front, and he was enjoying every bit of it, with one hand on your hip and the other gathered in your hair. “I’m considering it.”

Riri was about to comment when her body ran cold. A slow song rang through the speakers, something much more sensual than the ass-shaking anthem that was playing before. Her eyes ran back to you, and she watched, frozen.

You’d stood back up to your full height, turning to face him with your arms thrown around his neck. 

Your bodies ground together in sync with the rhythm of the music, and Riri’s mouth fell open when your head fell back with a moan, and he leaned down to kiss your throat. 

She was already on her feet by the time he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours as he practically fucked you through your clothes on the dance floor. The angle put your left breast in danger of being exposed and Ri could see the dark swirl of your areola bouncing free. 

“Fuck no.” Riri was gone, and Shuri wasn’t too far behind her. They pushed through the crowd, ignoring protests coming from every which way. Ri’s vision was blood-shot, her body shaking with rage. 

Her fist was already formed and she stalked toward you, on a mission. Shuri’s voice in her ear caused the smaller girl to stumble. “Do not hit him,” she commanded with a growl.

Riri reached you first, uncurling her fist and reaching up to snatch you by your hair, breaking the now deepened kiss between you and him. Shuri followed closely behind, nearly clipping your heels and already digging her keys from her pockets. 

He stood there stunned as you were pulled away and lead through the front doors without anyone so much as glancing your way. Ri took her hands from your hair and put them around your hips, lifting and flinging you into the backseat of Shuri’s SUV. She hopped in behind you, and Shuri jumped into the driver's seat, pulling off with a loud skid as her tires kissed the pavement.

Riri was livid, shaking in her nearly naked form, and it pissed her off even more to see the smugness that was embedded into your features. Her intentions weren’t to scare you but the fact that you didn’t even show an ounce of fright enraged her. 

“Breaking and entering and kidnapping on the same day? Must not be the first crime the two of you have-”

Riri’s hand was around your throat before you could finish your sentence, pressing your body harshly into the leather seats until your head bounced against the headrest, locking you in place.

“You must be out of your fucking mind,” she hurled at you. Your pompous attitude was gone, and fear danced in your gaze. You’d never seen Riri so angry; you didn’t know lividity was a feeling she was capable of. 

She didn’t give you a chance to speak, staring at your lips in disgust before she continued. “I hope you happy, baby, because you just cost that man his life.”

Your eyes widened further with horror, and Shuri called out Riri’s name in warning. 

Ri scoffed. “Oh, I don’t gotta do shit,” her grip tightened. “Wakanda got a whole ass army who would kill to protect you.”

Alarm bells were ringing in your head and your vision was starting to blur with the lack of oxygen your brain was receiving. You knew you shouldn’t push Riri any further, but the words were out without a second thought. 

“They kill for all your hoes?”

Shuri’s foot came down hard on the brakes, and you and Riri jerked forward, but her eyes never left your face. All around you, horns blarred angrily with the Princess’s driving and you could see the swing of headlights from behind as they swerved to avoid ramming into the back of it, but Shuri continued as if she didn’t almost cause the world’s biggest traffic accident. 

“You fucking-” Riri’s lips curled. “There are no hoes, y/n. It’s just you, only you.”

She turned to look out the window, seemingly analyzing your surroundings, then spoke to Shuri, “Go to my garage.”

The only response she got back was a silent nod, which she ignored anyway. Riri looked hard at your face, glancing back and forth between your lips and your eyes. “Lick your lips,” she commands.

You do as you’re told, surprisingly, and dart your tongue out to swipe over your lips once, twice, three times. Riri groans at the way they shine once you finish, wet with your spit. “They taste like him?”

Shuri watches through the rearview mirror as you hesitate, then nod. Riri crashes her lips into yours in a harsh kiss. She wants to wipe away any trace of him, any taste, any memory, any thought.  She swallows your tongue, moaning as you swap spit, and you bring your arms around her neck to pull her closer. 

Riri resists, though, drawing her body back and creating an unwanted distance between the two of you. “What about now?” She asks through pants. “They still taste like him?”

You lick your lips slowly, savoring the taste. Your head shakes from side to side. 

“Who they taste like?” She demands. 

“You,” you reply breathily. 

Before Riri has a chance to respond, the car comes to a stop, and Shuri cuts the engine off. You look around, recognizing the alley that leads to the back entrance of Riri’s garage. 

Shuri hops out of the car first, walking around to open your door and offer her hand to help you. 

Riri’s already out of the car, walking over to unlock the well-secured garage and stepping inside the darkness. 

She swipes a bunch of papers off the thrifted couch that sits next to her desk, and they flutter to the floor like snowflakes. 

She pushes you into the cushions, watching your body land with a bounce that exposes your right breast in all its pierced glory. 

Riri’s stare at you is lustful and rageful, shaking her with an unusual intensity. Shuri stands beside her, both of them glaring at you, but neither of them moving. 

It isn’t until Riri breaks the trance, shaking her head and walking away. “Handle her, man. I need to calm down some before I touch her.”

Now you and Shuri watch as Riri retreats, guilt building up in your little body. You turn back to see Shuri approaching you, unbuttoning her blazer until it swings open. She stops in front of you, fingers toying with the spaghetti straps of your dress. “He touched this,” she states simply.

You nod, “Shuri, I-”

The sound of ripping fabric echoes off the metal walls, and you look down to see Shuri’s torn your dress straight down the plunge. 

You can only muster out a pathetic squeak at the sight of what was your favorite dress. Shuri is so close when you look up that you almost headbutt her. 

“What is my name?” She growls, accentuating every word. 

“D-daddy-” you manage to stutter out.

Mm, she hums, and you shrink into yourself. No ‘good girl’ or praise. Just a hum.

You hadn’t really deserved the praise lately, though. 

Her head buried in your neck pulls you away from your thoughts. The feel of her lips and her tongue traveling along the softness of your skin causes your head to lazily tilt to the side, giving her more access. 

Her finger juts out to point in the direction Riri wandered in. “And you are hers,” she says with such a harsh bite that you cry out. 

She licks away the pain a moment later, “And you are mine.”

Shuri reaches down to pull the shredded dress away from your body and starts kissing down the length of your collarbone. “I’m sorry that video upset you.” She emphasizes each word with a kiss. “And I’m more sorry that my actions upset you.”

Her kisses trail to the valley between your breasts, and your fingers find her curls tangling in them and pressing her closer. “But I am all about you, baby.” 

Her kissing stops as she spots your underwear. It’s nothing but a black piece of string tied around your hips and thighs. The thinnest fabric in the world barely covers both your lips down there, and even now, it’s twisted to the point where your slit swallows it. 

“You wore these for him?”

You shake your head, missing the feel of her lips on your skin already. “Wore them for you; knew you were there.” 

“How-” Shuri starts.

“Your bead. Found it in my purse before I even left the dorm. Spotted the two of you a few minutes after we got to the club-”

Her face twists into an unreadable expression. “You knew we were there and gave us a good ole’ show, baby?”

Your cheeks grow hot, and Shuri shakes her head. “You really were trying to get that man killed.”

She lets her hand trail down your thigh, stopping at the crevice where they meet. You're already so wet, your little cunt drenching your sorry excuse of panties. 

One harsh tug, and those too, are nothing but shredded fabric. 

The only part of your outfit that isn’t torn and tattered are your heels and when you ask Shuri if she’s gonna go for those next, she ignores you. 

“You owe me new clothes,” you grumble under her attack of kisses on your thigh. You whine when she pulls away, sitting up enough that your gazes are aligned. 

“I don’t owe you shit but an apology.” Her slender fingers run down the length of your slit, coming back up dripping in your essence. You’re hypnotized, watching in fascination and lust as she brings them to her lips, licking them clean of you and groaning at the taste. “But I’d buy you a closet full of clothes if you asked me to.”

Your thighs part and her head descends between them, licking up the wetness that coats them. “And no,” she says with a breathy moan to your twitchy clit. “I don’t do that for all my hoes.”

And with that, her tongue attacks you. There's nothing but a sense of urgency in the air as Shuri laps at you as if the taste would disappear if she didn’t appreciate it enough. Your moans ring through the garage, loud and echoing. 

Shuri’s tongue on your clit is merciless, swiping and sucking. She dips lower, licking a fat, long strip up your slit and her moans tickle you from the inside out. Your thighs on her shoulder are clenched tight around her head, but she couldn’t care less.

You taste like heaven and Shuri never believed in such a place before you. Her tongue stiffens, and then, it’s in your cunt, fucking you feverishly. Your eyes roll and you’re trying so hard to keep them on Shuri. 

The sight of her fucking your pussy, drowning in it, is one the tabloids would have never been able to imagine. If they thought an ass-catching princess was scandalous, they’d drop dead at the sight of this.

Movement from the corner of your eyes catches your attention, and it takes all your strength to pull it away from Shuri long enough to notice Ri in the corner, back pressed against the wall, arms crossed in front of her. 

Your eyes lock, and you stare at Ri as you pant and groan, as if they were directed towards her. And maybe they were. She shifts uncomfortably at the sounds you make, reaching around to adjust something in her, now unbuttoned pants, but before you have time to question it, Shuri’s tongue in your pussy is replaced by two fingers.

They stretch you out deliciously, and she pulls her head away to admire the way you clench around her. “Demethi, nkosazana,” she mumbles under her breath. 

You’d heard her speak enough Xhosa over the years to be able to translate that one. “I’m the princess now?” you stumble and stutter through the question and a red-hot fury makes itself known in your belly with the way she curved her fingers and looks up at you. “My princess,” she responds.

Suddenly, her fingers pick up speed, and she’s added a third, scissoring into you and grinning at the way you stretch around her. “Good girl,” she praises. “Good girl, go ahead and open up for me, hm?”

Ugh, they way they talked to you during sex.. Their words were fucking filthy and the moment they opened their mouths, you knew you wouldn’t last much longer. 

This time was no different. You had been so focused on Shuri, that you didn’t notice Riri stalking toward you. 

Shuri noticed, but she was intent on making you come apart before she handed you over. The taste of you was still on her tongue and she signaled Riri to ‘come here’ with a curled finger, while the other mirrored the action deep within your walls. 

Riri headed over to Shuri, and upon reaching her, took her chin and tilted it upwards so she could capture her lips in a kiss. You watched as they shared your taste between the two of them,  moaning at the sight. 

Shuri pulled away first, feeling the way your walls began to swell around her hand. Your orgasm was coming (pun intended), and as much as you wanted to keep your eyes on them, you couldn’t. Your head fell back, and your eyes shut so tightly, they were just slits. 

Riri just stood and watched, hands tucked in her pockets, and Shuri sang you praises. 

“There you go, baby. Let it out.”

You began to splash around her fingers. 

“Good girl, nkosazana yam, keep going.”

Your wetness had picked up, as did your cries. Shuri’s forearm was soaked, along with the front of her blazer.

“I’m- fuck! I’m com-” Your sentence was nothing but fragments, but Shuri understood it perfectly well. 

“I know baby, come for me,” she cooed. “Umhle kakhulu (So pretty).”

You were already in the midst of coming apart, and Shuri’s fingers didn’t let up, fucking you through your climax. It was such an intense feeling. You felt so full, like the pressure was too much, but Bast, it was so delicious, you didn’t want her to stop. 

You wanted your orgasm to keep coming so Shuri’s fingers never left. Unfortunately for you, your well began to run dry and your screams died down to panting breaths. Shuri’s hand slipped out of you with a loud squelch and she lifted them so you could see how much of you was actively dripping from her digits. “Messy girl,” she stated cooly, rising to her feet and taking a step back.

Your thighs were still sky-high and your breathing hadn’t quite leveled out before Riri stepped to where Shuri once stood. She reached into her pants, pulling out a dildo you’d never seen before already strapped to her hilt. 

It was made of vibranium, that much was obvious with the deep purple glow. Most of the toys the three of you used were, but this one was different. First of all, it was thick. Fuck the fact that it was already a good 8 or 9 inches long, it wasn’t much smaller than the width of a fucking soda can and you could hear a slight buzzing come from it. 

The look on Riri’s face gave away the surprise. It was vibrating, harshly against her clit and when she pressed the tip to your slit, you could feel the vibrations on your end too. 

Fuck, she was about to tear you apart. 

“You seemed to have wanted dick so damn bad tonight, baby,” her words were still angry as she pushed into you at a snail’s pace. 

The stretch was too much, but it felt so fucking good. Your cunt swallowed every inch of her, pulling her in further.

She could feel just how wet you were, how tight you were, having just come. The way you clenched around her almost knocked the wind from her little body, and she had to will herself to take it slow. 

“Shit, baby,” she hissed, eyes closed, breathing staggered. 

“Riri-” Shuri’s voice sounded out from somewhere in the room, but you were too focused on Ri to search for it. 

“What?” She sounded like she was in pain, and still, she wasn’t even fully in you yet.

“Fuck her.”

Riri opened her eyes, burning a hole through yours. Her hips shifted, and she was in you even deeper. “No shit. I ain’ taking orders from you right now,” she growled lowly. 

The only warning you got before she buried her entire cock into you was a hand on your hip as she steadied herself. Your scream rang through the room in agony and Ri’s moans harmonized with yours. 

The two of you sat, stuck for a moment as she took a few deep breaths, allowing you to adjust.

And then she pulled out, leaving you feeling hollow. The feeling didn’t last long because she thrust back into you, this time much easier than the first. 

“Fuck,” you cried, and she did it again, and again, and again, until she’d picked up a steady pace. 

Sweat poured down her forehead as she fucked you with the restraint of a fucking God. You were so tight, so wet, so warm. A week was much too long to go without being buried in your cunt and the fact that you’d almost willingly given it to a nigga earlier that night angered her. 

Her movements were harsh and rough, and so good. This wasn’t love making, it was fucking. 

The kind that sent a tingle to your toes and arched your back to extremes that you didn’t know you were capable of. It was the type that warranted multiple orgasms and the first one ripped through you with a vengeance.

Riri felt it; she felt the way you clenched around her and how your screams pierced the air. She could feel your slick collecting on the pants that she hadn’t bothered to pull all the way down before taking you.

And she didn’t let up. No recovery time this time around. She fucked you through that first orgasm and continued fucking you toward the second. 

Your legs clamed around her waist and your arms trapped her face right in front of yours. You could inhale her pants as she dug into you, reciting elements on the periodic table so she didn’t come before she wanted to. 

“You been playing games with me, baby,” she whispered to you through her thrusts.

You were too dick-crazed to fully process her sentence at first, but once you did, you responded, “No different than the games you and Shuri been playing.” You sounded like a drunk, but Riri understood every bit of what you said. 

Your eyes wandered, rolling back as that second orgasm approached. 

“Look at me, baby,” Riri commanded, and she smiled when you obeyed, locking your lust-blown eyes on hers. “There ain’ nobody else, okay?” Her forehead pressed to yours. “I ain’ fucking nobody else like this.” At that, her hips curved and her cock hit the spongy part of your cunt that was the only thing responsible for holding your orgasm at bay. 

The second one rolled through you, yet Riri continued as if it hadn’t. She groaned, listening to you moan right in her ear. “That pretty sound right there, fuck. I wanna hear that shit for the rest of my life.” She couldn’t hold back any longer. She was about to come.

Her thrusts slowed and she shuddered, sinking into the suppleness of your touch as your legs kept her buried in your cunt and your nails dug into her back, scratching hard enough to draw little beads of blood. 

Shapes, letters, she didn’t know what you were etching into her skin, and it didn’t matter. She groaned, legs shaking as she struggled to stay on them. 

Your lip rolled into your mouth at the feel of Riri’s warmth on your inner thighs. “That’s it,” you muttered, low enough for just her to hear. “Come on me, ma.”

Neither of you knew who’s come was who’s on your thighs and neither of you cared. Riri fell apart in your arms, finally coming down long enough to press your lips together in a kiss that was much softer than her thrusts had been. 

“You’re mine,” she said against your mouth. “You’re barely hers-” she pointed back at Shuri and wrapped both arms around your middle to press you further against her, as if your bodies could fuse and become one. “Because you are all fucking mine,” she growled and you smiled at her words. 

Shuri walked over, slapping her palm against Riri’s ass with a warning. “Watch yourself.” Her head tilted, focusing on Riri’s back and your smile morphed into laughter. Shuri copied you with a chuckle. “Did you write your name in her back, baby?”

You nodded, still laughing, feeling gleeful for the first time in days. “I did,” you stated proudly. 

Shuri chuckled again, shaking her head before eying you. “It’s sideways.”

You shrugged, “It’s there.”

“Well,” Shuri declared, moving her fingers to shake off her blazer, letting it fall to the floor. Her eyes never left yours as she shrugged her shirt over her head. “Guess I need one to match.”

[genderfluid-insomniac]

"Why are you stealing my ducks?!"/// Lucifer Morningstar x reader

A/N: I had an idea and ran with it. I know someone out there isn't pleased with the lack of ducks in the market.

First off it was your day off and you were simply trying to find more rubber ducks to give to the kids at the daycare you ran for hellborns and sinners. Strangely enough, it was fairly financially stable with parents and minorly tolerable sinners dropping off kids (either their own adopted or otherwise) until the end of the day when you would lock up the place.

Because this was a daycare and you carried the cash back with you to your apartment there wasn’t any reason for anyone to break into or ruin the daycare. Even if they did their parents or guardians grew to be very protective of the place and you for honestly keeping their child safe. You were told by some others that one of the parents wouldn’t hesitate to protect their child by any means necessary and they refused to tell you which one strangely enough.

You had a feeling though of who it was since one of your favorite kids was an adorable blonde demon with bright red eyes who seemed to light up everyone around her. Unfortunately, she rarely was dropped off. But when she was her dad usually picked her up who you knew (via his daughter Charlie telling you he was the “best dad and inventor ever”) and you’d get to see the heartwarming scene of him catching her as she jumped to him and resting his forehead against hers.

He was quite handsome too and his devotion to his daughter never failed to put a smile on your face, often finding one of you staring at the other with a smile only to get caught. You never got his name but his theatrical apple-themed clothing stuck with you but you didn’t see him since his daughter had grown up.

Opening the door to the familiar sight of the toy store, you walked to the front to see the owner looking bored as they swiped through their phone until they saw you and lit up. “Hey! You here to see if I have any more rubber ducks in stock?” You looked hopeful for a second until they looked nervously at you and slid a clipboard over to you which had the clear stamp of “OUT OF STOCK” on the duck column. Groaning and letting your head fall tiredly onto the counter. Your day is now ruined as you’d planned to organize them in the daycare to let the kids go home with them as a gift after the disaster of this year’s extermination.

You heard the bell to the store ring signaling that someone else was now here and didn’t care since you were still upset about this being the 4 or 5 times in weeks that you’d tried to get at least 10 or 15 rubber ducks. The person walked up beside you and seemed to be very happy and a bit nervous by the way he rocked back and forth on his heels. They must have spotted you looking distraught because they tentatively poked your head. “You okay there? You seem kinda down.”

As you lifted your head you locked eyes with a very familiar man who you knew, the same white suit and pants with the decorative top hat and matching apple cane. Both of you had the same second of silence before saying “You!” and got interrupted by the owner coming back with 5 boxes labeled “RUBBER DUCKS” in Sharpie on a trolly. The man turned to the owner for a second after he gave you a timid smile and thanked them, signing his name at the bottom of the receipt and startling you at what his name was.

Lucifer Morningstar. Meaning the little girl Charlie was Charlie Morningstar….the princess of Hell. You were going to address your heartbeat picking up however seeing the boxes flipped a switch in your brain and looked between the king and the boxes of rubber ducks. “You- You motherfucker! You’re the one who’s been buying out their entire stock of ducks!” You said frustratedly and stalked up to him, poking a finger into his chest. Even if he was the King of Hell why would he need that many ducks?

Lucifer wore a tentative expression when you realized who he was until you angrily poked him in the chest and accused him of purposely screwing with you over. It wasn’t his fault that he ran out of ducks and duplicating them wasn’t good since the mechanics never fused with his magic well. He didn’t even know you came here and had seen you since Charlie had gone to daycare. Getting embarrassed when you asked about why he needed that many rubber ducks.

“I- I fail to see how that’s your business!” He spouted as he tried to put off an intimidating aura but it failed miserably seeing as how you just raised an eyebrow at him. The atmosphere quickly became calmer as he let out a sigh and mumbled something under his breath. You couldn’t hear him and leaned closer to hear him. “What did you say?” You asked very confused at the sudden change of attitude.

He blushed noticeably and ran a hand down his face, confessing something he hoped he’d never have to tell others. “I need them to invent more ducks.” Refusing to look at you, Lucifer wished he could just teleport back to his workshop but that would mean abandoning the person he never thought he’d have the opportunity to talk to again. The person who seemed to make his heart speed up and matched your reaction to seeing him. You smiled and let out a small chuckle, seeing how this wasn’t too surprising since you’d been told by his daughter that he was the “best dad and inventor ever”.

You put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft look. “I should’ve guessed. Your daughter always said her day was the “best dad and inventor ever”. It’s nice to see you again Lucifer.” You outstretched your hand and saw him smile in turn, taking your hand and shaking it firmly. He ran a hand through his blonde hair which had gotten disheveled during his “pitiful” confession and fixed his hat. “It’s nice to see you too! I missed- I mean I wished I had gotten in touch with you sooner!” He said before nearly slipping up and flushing at your unchanging beautiful appearance. It’d been so long since he’d seen you.

What you said registered to him and it seemed like you hadn’t forgotten about him either which was a good sign for him. Lucifer blushed remembering how Charlie always had a habit of bluntly saying things which sometimes backfired like it situations like these when he wanted to seem charming and alluring to someone he liked. Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and letting out a short laugh. “Yeah, she’s always been very kind and honest to people. Which isn’t a bad fault at all! Just uh- in hell it’s normally not the greatest quality to have but she’s done so well with her hotel.” He explained and unconsciously started smiling as he talked about his daughter which warmed your heart completely.

You were still a bit frustrated with being bought out of rubber ducks but this excursion went better than you’d possibly imagined. His smile mirrored yours as he realized he’d started to realize he was rambling. “Sorry I-” You interrupted him and stopped his hand waving by putting yours on his. “No! No. I think it’s really touching hearing how much you love Charlie and I’m glad we got to see each other even if it was by accident.” You said. He was teetering on asking you out or at least saying “Can we meet again?” because he wasn’t going to leave it to chance to see you again. He would force himself if he had to. He moved his cane between his hands and knowing he’d be here all day if he waited.

“Do you want to go out- I mean see each other again? Maybe meet up somewhere.” Lucifer spit out what he’d wanted to say and took a deep breath, sighing out most of his nerves. “It would be nice to catch up after all these years. I’ve missed you.” He smiled and ignored the obvious shock and excitement of the owner standing beside them. You were equally shocked for a second before flushing at the implication of everything and nodded. “I’d love to. Just name the time and place. Preferably not during my work and I’m sure you can roughly remember the daycare’s hours. Unfortunately, I still need to find rubber ducks for the kids.” You spoke with a grin and laughed.

The devil was so happy you agreed but panicked briefly when you said you still had to find rubber ducks. However, hearing they were for the kids gave him an idea. “I think I can kill both birds with a hammer. I have more ducks back at my place, probably too many, many of them would be great for the kids if you wanted to take a look. Probably the non-fire-breathing ones should stay with me though.” He brightly suggested and then turned to the boxes currently full of ducks, suddenly getting another idea which he could also show off how creative he was while spending time with you.

“If you want we could make the ducks for the kids together since you know them and I can tinker with mechanics to make them do cool things!” Starting to become noticeably excited about the entire thing and how well this entire conversation was going compared to others. To everyone in the room, his actions were adorable, and unspokenly wouldn’t leave this room ever. You stopped him mid-sentence and laughed to grab his quick-moving hands. “I’d love to, Lucifer. It’d be more than happy to. How about we meet up at your daughter's hotel? The Hazbin Hotel right?” You asked and got an enthusiastic nod, bittersweetly parting ways and agreeing to meet up your next free day.

~~~~

Bonus:

To say Charlie was excited to see you again when Lucifer, who was living in the hotel himself, reintroduced you to her was an understatement. The princess had stars in her eyes when she saw you and you didn’t have any time to speak because she tackle-hugged you to the ground much to everyone but Lucifer’s surprise. She started crying happily and refusing to let you go, luckily you ended up getting helped by her father who chuckled and rubbed her head. You were asked to explain why you had reduced Charlie to tears and incoherent babbles of “I’m so happy to see them”. Your “hangout” with Lucifer went better than expected and both of you agreed to go on an official date. Needless to say everyone grew fond of seeing you around more often for several reasons.

[italeean]

HI ELLE! CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE 💖💖💖

And this event sounds so fun so I had to send in something (no pressure ofc ^-^)

Description: I literally had to go around asking my friends to describe me bc I couldn’t think of much besides that I’m an introvert and pessimistic about myself lmao. So from the intel I’ve gathered: I’m shy, friendly, kind, care a lot about those closest to me, and worry too much about things. My interests are pretty boring, all I do is play videogames (mainly rhythm games nowadays) and watch anime occassionally, although I can get very passionate about them. I don’t have much of a preference to the people I surround myself with, as long as they can handle my more reserved nature and respect my boundaries.

I am a lee leaning switch :3

And I’d like to choose genshin impact as the fandom. I started playing not too long ago and it’s been my new hyperfixation.

With a romantic relationship with a male character!

Oh and my name is Sakura!🌸

I hope I did this correctly kahdjahdjahsh

Have a good day/night‼ And take your time!

Sakuraaa 🥹💕 After months of inactivity, I'm taking back the reins of this event and I'm more than ready to match you up with your special someone hehe ✨️ Thanks for your patience, e spero ti piaccia il mio lavoro 💚🤍❤️ (and I hope you'll enjoy my work) 🍡 *hands you the dango to eat while you read*

🔮 Without further ado, your match is... KAZUHA

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

1. You say you're pessimistic about yourself, and this little ray of sunshine is the perfect way to bring some light in 2. He's delicate and soft-spoken, which won't make you feel overwhelmed by endless talking 3. He's super perceptive, which means he'll understand how you're feeling without you having to tell him, which can be hard sometimes when you're an introvert 4. If you play rhythm games, he might play a tune with leaves to match the rhythm you're playing in the game! That would be so cute... 5. Even he's usually a ray of sunshine, he can have his bad days, especially when he thinks about Tomo, and you'd be able to support him quietly thanks to your personality and your emotional baggage 6. Kazuha is a generally quiet person, so expect many, MANY successful sneak attacks... and if your sides or ribs are sensitive, you'll be in for a bumpy ride 7. He's the personification of gentleness, so he'd be sure to inquire about your boundaries without you even needing to tell him anything 8. He likes the sound of your laughter even more of the song of the wind between the leaves, so tickling you is one of his favorite ways to "bring some light into your pessimism" 9. I feel like he'd LOVE to blow some air into your ears or pepper kisses on your neck if those spots are sensitive 10. He also does mind a few pokes if he needs to be cheered up... and if you do that to get his attention, he'll get the hint and proceed to tickle you as much as you'd like!

🔮 Tickle scenario

Kazuha couldn't ask for a better morning than this. Azure sky with some fluffy white clouds, the music of nature made by the wind that caresses the leaves, lying on the grass in silence with his eyes closed...

... and you.

You and him had started dating a few months ago. He was the best thing that had ever happened in your life, and he thought the same about you. You two didn't need loud love, your relationship could be compared to a warm, soft cocoon. You expressed your feelings through little gestures and by being there for each other.

Unless you were bored.

Don't get me wrong, Kazuha loved every aspect of you, but when you were bored, you were quite the handful. Little pranks, pokes, silly jokes... you would try everything to distract him, and that's what you wanted in that exact moment.

Calling him was an amazing option, since he was a samurai with an astounding control of all his senses, but where was the fun in that? You surely could do much better, so you got up, making as little noise as possible, and approached him with your hands shaped in claws ready to attack.

His eyes were still closed, perfect. You just needed to attack. 3... 2... 1... Now!

Or so you thought...

As soon as your fingertips came in contact with his ribcage, you felt something gripping your wrists and in a fraction of second, you were on the grass, facing the blue sky and a white-haired guy with an ominous smirk that you had learned to fear.

"Were you trying to wake me up, love?" He asked in a sweet tone mixed with a hint of playfulness, "Alas, your reflexes seem a little sluggish, like a lethargic bear cub." He tsked with no annoyance in his voice, just a little mocking.

"Maybe you're the one who needs a little awakening, aren't you, little cub?"

Before you could make up even the faintest argument to object, his hands started zapping your sides with ruthlessly, relentlessly and with the meticulous precision provided by the knowledge of every single spot that made you squeak, squeal or even snort.

"Ka- wahahahait nooo..!" You begged, but your pleas fell on deaf ears, as the tickle assault only increased in intensity. You attempted to swat his hands away, but that was futile as well. His reflexes were much faster than yours.

"Not good, your reflexes don't show any sign of awakening yet. Such a lazy little cub..." He joked, enjoying the blush that invaded your cheeks because of the nickname, "Do we really need to take extreme measures to make the lazy cub arise?"

Your eyes widened in shock and glee, and your laughter became much more nervous. "No no nohoho w-we dohohon't... we don't need to..! Please we do-" Not even Kazuha's refined lexicon had a term to define the high pitch of your scream, and the samurai knew this was his stop signal.

He raised his hands and helped you sit up while you were gasping for air, using his Anemo vision to create a gentle, refreshing breeze for you.

When you recovered, you looked at him with a gaze that meant war and pronounced the words: "I swear to the Seven Archons, I'll get you back."

Your warmongering glare was met with a smug, playful one. "Come at me then, cub, and show me your awakened reflexes" He chuckled, getting ready for a day full of combat.

[perpetualproductions]

If We Were Vampires (Pt. 1)

(name wip) (yes, pt.1 does imply more than one part. I wrote more than I thought I did.)

-Jordan Li is turned into a Vampire. What now?

-A Limoreau fic, with a focus on Jordan Li as a vampire.

-Did you read the part about Jordan Li being a vampire?

-NOT edited by any means. This was written at 4 am, so pls forgive any spelling/grammar errors

~ 2k words

CW: mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, descriptions of blood (can't think of any other, let me know if there are).

Masterlist | Next->

When Jordan came too, they had no idea where they were, but wherever it was, it was cold and dark, and they were laying down on a hard wet surface. Which they realized was the damp concrete ground. They went to move, but their eyes shut quickly as they winced in pain, hand quickly going to massage their neck. Who knew laying on the ground gave you a very sore neck. They slowly sat up, opening their eyes and taking in their surroundings. They were in some back alley way, laying against some trash bags and discarded cardboard boxes. The only thing providing Jordan with any light was the moon that hung above them. They rubbed their eyes, hoping they would better adjust to the dark, as they ran their small hands through their bob and let out a breath.

How did they get here? How long had they been out? They tried their best to recall their day, but it was all foggy. They remember waking up this morning in bed. It was cold so they decided to stay cuddled in the covers and… Marie was there, as she had been for a few mornings now. They had their first class together, but had to split off for the rest of the day. They planned on meeting up at a party Emma had mentioned to them taking place in some rich kid’s apartment in the city (well, their parents fancy ass apartment, but they were out of town or something). This is where things got foggy…

They vaguely remember driving to the party, excited to see Marie and the rest of their friends there after a long day of school work. Then, something happened… they don't remember what exactly, but it had grabbed their attention. And now, here they are, seemingly hours later, sitting in a dark alleyway with a sore neck.

Had they gone to the party and just partied too hard? No, that didn't sound right. Whatever caused Jordan to black out must have been serious, cause they do not black out easily. They were really worried now. They needed to get back to campus, figure out what the hell happened, and they needed to find Marie, make sure she was okay. They hope whatever happened to them didn't happen to Marie too.

They quickly pat their pockets down, trying to find their phone, but nothing. No phone, wallet, keys… maybe they were mugged and they were too drunk to do anything? Who fucking knows at this rate.

Tired of just sitting there and letting their thoughts spiral, Jordan pushed themselves up to their feet, needing to grab the wall as they swayed a bit. They did feel a bit woozy, but not in a drunk sort of way. It was more of a “they haven't eaten all day” kind of lightheadedness. Speaking of… they actually found themselves feeling very hungry. Their stomach felt empty like they hadn't eaten in days. It was almost painful. How long were they even out here? There were too many questions and not enough action. They needed to get back to campus.

—

Jordan had been wandering for a while. It must have been real late, cause not many people seemed to be out. They were definitely on the sketchier side of town, opting to switch into their male form after some looks thrown their way by the city night dwellers. Their iconic bomber jacket wasn't doing much to stave off the cold night. It usually did the job, but for some reason they just couldn't stop shivering. On top of their pained stomach, they developed a pounding headache. Every light was too bright and every sound too loud. It's like their senses were being overwhelmed, even in the relatively still night. They were really starting to think they got whammied by some supe and dumped out in an alley as some fucked up prank. Whatever or whoever was behind it was gonna be in for it once Jordan finds out.

They finally came across some streets they recognized and followed them to the main road that would take them back to Godolkin. At this rate, they were really hoping to hitch a ride, cause that walk was gonna be excruciatingly long.

As luck would have it, after walking along the road for about 20 minutes, they heard a car coming up from behind them. They looked back and caught what looked to be a red pickup truck. They quickly brought their thumb up, displaying the universal hitchhiking sign.

They breathed a sigh of relief as they watched the truck slow to a stop right next to them. In the driver's seat was a young woman with dark blonde hair, wearing a simple white shirt with a red coat over top. Jordan admits that they were a bit surprised, definitely expecting some creepy old dude that would offer to drive them up to his farm just to be murdered. But Jordan should know better than to stereotype.

“Hey there, what are you doing out here so early?” The woman asked kindly. Even though one could see the tiredness in her eyes, she spoke with a polite smile on her face.

Jordan slowly approached the car window, keeping a fair distance just to be safe. Sure they were currently indestructible, but God were they still in pain. They really tried to not let it show though, as they returned a similarly polite smile. “Hey, I uh, sort of got ditched by my friends at a party, and I don't have a ride. Do you think I could catch a ride to Godolkin University? It shouldn't be too far ahead… please.” Jordan added, making sure they were being polite. They were really getting tired of walking.

“Godolkin University? That's the Supe college, right?” She asked.

Jordan just nodded tightly in response, the pounding in their head still persistent.

Whether she noticed they were in pain or not, they didn't know, but she did give them a slightly sympathetic look. “Alright, hop in. It's only a ten minute drive or so from here.”

Jordan breathed in relief as they made their way to the backseat of the truck. They thought about sitting in the passenger seat, but sitting in the back felt a bit safer, like this was just an Uber ride and not a stranger picking up a hitchhiker. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

“Oh, please don't call me ma'am. I'm only 32. Rebecca is just fine, thank you.”

“Right. Sorry. Thanks, Rebecca.” Jordan reiterated.

“No problem. I was heading in that direction anyway, so it's really no trouble. You also don't look to be doing so well. Should probably take it easy on the partying.” She commented lightheartedly.

Jordan gave a tight smile. “Yeah, you're probably right.”

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Well, it was silent for one of them… For Jordan, it was almost torture. The pounding in their head was getting louder and louder, echoing in their ears. They could barely think straight. They thought about Marie in that moment, and her ability to hear heartbeats. Was this what it was like? The constant thrumming in your ears? Marie had mentioned once that she had to learn to tune out all the noise, learning to hone in and focus on one at a time. They weren't sure why, but Jordan tried to do just that, closing their eyes and focusing on their heartbeat. And that's when they noticed it… there were two sets of beating. It wasn't just coming from their head. Jordan opened their eyes and almost immediately they were drawn to Rebecca. More specifically, her neck.

It's like they could feel her pulse beating from there, their eyes focussing on the feeling. Suddenly, they felt their stomach growl, reminding them of their hunger. The world around them started to blur. All Jordan could focus on was this woman's neck. It was almost animalistic, the way their mouth slowly fell open, salivating when a slight breeze wafted her scent towards them.

It took a while for them to register that they were being spoken to, being pulled out of their trance when they realized the car had stopped moving.

“Hey, did you hear me? If you're gonna be sick, puke outside of my car, okay?” The woman spoke seriously.

Jordan's eyes flicked between her face and her neck, the pull still there. They swallowed as they tried to compose themselves. “I- sorry. I just… need a minute.” Jordan mumbled as they stumbled their way out of the car, cause they did feel sick, but not from any hangover. They felt sick to their core, like if they didn't satiate their hunger they would die. They got out of the car as fast as they could, the feelings were overwhelming, they felt as though they couldn't breathe.

They bent over, resting their hands on their knees as they tried to breath, trying to focus on anything else than the alluring scent coming from the woman in the car. Suddenly, they felt a hand on their shoulder. Jordan jerked away from the touch, turning around only to be face to face with Rebecca. She was about the same height as they were in their current male form, which meant their eyes didn't have to travel far to reach her neck.

She had a worried look on her face as she watched Jordan seemingly dazed as they stared at her neck. “Hey kid, are you sure you're alright?” She spoke slowly as she leaned in a bit closer to grab their attention. And that was her last mistake…

Before Jordan could even register anything, they found themselves leaning forward, grabbing Rebecca and bringing their mouth to her neck. They felt their teeth ache for a second before diving in and biting down on her neck. They felt her skin break as their teeth sank in, releasing what they didn't even know they were craving till now. Blood. It was sweet and tangy, the most delicious thing they've tasted. The second it hit their tongue, they knew they needed more. So they stood there, clinging onto this woman's body as they sucked more and more of her blood out of her body. Jordan felt them slowly go limp in their arms, having to hold them up as they continued feeding. It felt so good, so invigorating. The hunger and pain they felt moments before faded away and was replaced by pleasure.

Before they knew it, there was no more blood to drink, as they finally pulled away from her neck. That's when everything came crashing back. The hungry haze they were previously in lifted, yanking them back into reality. They looked down at the body in their arms… cold, limp, lifeless. The clear bite mark on her neck that looked like it came from an animal shook Jordan to their core. They froze in horror. They couldn't believe it, this couldn't be real. This had to be some fucked up dream they were having and they'll wake up any minute now, in their warm bed with Marie cuddled up with them. But no. No matter how much they tried, they weren't waking up from this.

After a minute or so, they snapped out of their frozen state. They couldn't stay there, they had to do something. In a panic, they dropped the woman's body, watching it fall and hit the ground with a graceless thud. Just then they saw just how much of a mess they made. The woman's previously white shirt, now stained red like her coat. Jordan looked down at their own clothing, their own white shirt also stained red with blood. They look up and catch their reflection in the car window. They stand there stunned, staring at themselves, their entire chin stained with blood, their lips now a deep red. In a panic Jordan tries to wipe the blood off, not being very successful. Their heart was racing, their mind going into overdrive, and without a second thought, they switched into their female form and began to run away.

--

Hope you enjoyed!!

Might also post on AO3, haven't decided yet.

🫢 (part 2 is already written. Could probably release it later today. Who knows.)

[aegyo-ahegao]

Kpop artists are real people! Please respect them! All of this is strictly fantasy and for horny fun! None of the things I say in this account are “speculation” or “what these artists are really like” type things. Again, purely fantasy through the lense of a hyperfixation

MINORS DNI!

word count: 5140

tags: gyuvin x matthew, light dom/sub stuff, caught masturbating, oppa kink, inspired by recent(ish) events, gyuvin's shy at first, matthew eats it up, as in all fics gyuvin is hung 😔✊, handjob that turns into blowjob, very light cumplay, theyre so whipped and they don't even know, teaching how to give a bj by example, whos top? whos dom? who's sub? they dont even know, switch 4 switch ig

Found the brain power to write this >:) i accidentally made this very sappy and cute but it's all good bc you get two bjs for the price of one! also it is so much longer than i expected enjoy

‘For today, I’m your oppa’

The moment replayed in Matthew's mind more often than he’d like to admit. His little oppa bit was fun, he got to flirt with the camera and show off something besides being cute, but this was probably too far. He might’ve not known the deepest interweavings of Korean but he was damn good at conversation, and conversation between him and hyungs was even easier. Being referred to as a dongsaeng was pretty natural for him. But Kim Gyuvin. Strange, weird, tall, handsome Kim Gyuvin. He made being a hyung harder than it already was. He was always goofing off, in an endearing, Saint Bernard who doesn’t know how big he is kind of way, but goofing off nonetheless.

It had been one of these many times that Gyuvin had said the something that kept ringing in Matthew's head.

“I’m too tired today. I’m not oppa today.” Matthew had whined as Gyuvin shook him excitedly. “Someone take oppa responsibility for me.”

“I can.” Gyuvin sat up straight with a dumb smile. “I’ll be your oppa.”

Matthew tried to convince himself he mistranslated as his ears got steadily pinker. “What?”

“No take-backs! You said you didn’t want to be oppa so now it’s my turn.” Gyuvin smirked mischievously.

“I didn’t mean my oppa.” He tried to sigh but it came out like more of a squeak.

“Too late! For today, I’m your oppa.”

-

That’s what got Matthew in this situation. Laying on his bed, half mast, all because of some stupid joke. He didn’t even know it was possible for honorifics to affect him like this, especially ones meant for women. He guessed it was a sign he was getting more comfortable with Korean but he almost wished he wasn’t. ‘Gyuvin-oppa’ It rang through his head again and he winced, trying to not imagine anything.

It was a rare free Saturday so most of the members were out, getting food or shopping. Really, it was only Matthew and Taerae home, and he knew for a fact the Taerae had passed out on the couch after lunch. It had been a while, with promotions and filming, he hadn’t got a decent, non-shower jerk off in since right after Boys Planet. It really couldn’t hurt.

He scooted up enough to throw his blanket over his lap, even if someone did walk in it’d be way easier to hide this way. He shimmied out of his sweatpants, sighing as the soft fabric laid over his dick. He could already tell he wasn’t going to last long, dick twitching at the slightest touch. “Fuck.” He breathed. He wrapped his hand around his half stiff cock, lightly tracing his thumb over his slit.

‘Let oppa take care of you.’

Matthew flinched as the image of Gyuvin leaning over him appeared in his mind. He groaned out of embarrassment. He started pumping his hand, nervously letting the fantasy continue on. Imaginary Gyuvin licked his lips, staring down Matthew like he was about to eat him alive. He brought a finger to Matthew’s chin, raising it to make eye contact. Matthew unconsciously sped up his strokes.

‘Say it.’

He knew exactly what imaginary Gyuvin wanted, of course, and he couldn't help himself. He placed a hand over his mouth, intent to muffle himself so only he and his little fantasy had to know.

“Gyuvin-oppa.” saying it out loud shot a shiver straight to his dick. God, why was that doing so much to him? He whined into his hand, eyebrows scrunched up in pleasure. "Oppa, please." he muttered.

"Good boy." Imaginary Gyuvin purred. He kissed him roughly, tongues dancing, before trailing kisses down his jaw, then his throat.

"Gyuvin-oppa, please." he breathed.

He heard a whimper, but this time it wasn't his own. His hand flew away from himself, eyes squeezing tightly closed. Oh, god. This was humiliating. "Jesus fucking Christ." he swore to himself in English. "Please leave." He didn't dare look at who it was, he didn't want to go through the next few weeks avoiding eye contact with someone.

"...But." The voice squeaked, already sounding way too familiar. "You called me."

"I don't want to talk about it Gyuvin." Matthew rolled over to face the wall, neck burning from embarrassment. Of course, of all eight people that could've caught him, it had to be the one he was moaning the name of. "Leave.'' He hoped he sounded intimidating and not like he was about to cry.

There was a long pause, one Matthew tried to convince himself meant Gyuvin left and he just didn't hear. Unfortunately, his ears were hyper aware of every tiny sound at the moment. He could still hear Gyuvin breathing. He tried desperately not to break into tears. "I don't wanna." Gyuvin finally said, more of a whisper than anything.

Matthew's confusion overtook his embarrassment for a moment and he turned his head to look at Gyuvin. Oh. He was standing, hands balled into tight fists at his sides, still holding his shopping bags. His thighs were clenched together. The worst part was he wasn't even looking up, his head hung low, hiding his face. "What?"

"I don't wanna leave, Hyung." Gyuvin's voice cracked. Somehow, his head sunk even lower in his chest. Matthew couldn't bring himself to do anything but stare. "Please..."

Matthew felt a fresh plume of warmth reach his face. This couldn't be real. He dug into his thigh with his nails, willing himself to snap out of it. This fantasy had really gone too far. But Gyuvin remained. Matthew's heart was racing, he could feel the blood rushing in his ears. He had to be sure, if this was going any farther. "Gyuvin, you know what I was doing, right?"

He nodded.

"What was I doing then?" Matthew said carefully, trying to not spook him off.

"Hyung, don't make me say it..." Gyuvin covered his face with his hands. Despite his earlier fantasies, Matthew couldn't help but find him adorable. The urge to get more reactions out of Gyuvin was eating at him.

"How am I supposed to know you're serious if you don't tell me?" Matthew's nerves were slowly morphing into excited butterflies.

"Hyung-"

"Just Matthew's fine." He felt himself start to smile. "And look at me, please."

Gyuvin took a deep breath. He lowered his hands away from his face slowly, revealing his wonderfully crimson complexion. "Matthew." He dug his nails into his palms, willing himself to look up. "Were you... touching... yourself..." He let out a little whine before taking another breath. "Thinking about... me?"

Matthew ate up every second Gyuvin left his face uncovered. He knew he probably had a stupid, half horny-brained grin plastered across his face but he couldn't stop.

"Hyu-... Matthew." Gyuvin complained, turning his body away but keeping his face in view.

"Yeah," He breathed, barely audible. "Yeah, I was." He was kind of dazed and awestruck. Kim Gyuvin being anything other than overly excited or passed out was always a pleasant change, but this was something else entirely.

"O-okay." Gyuvin cleared his throat, clearly trying to decide what to do next. "Did you... like it?"

Matthew couldn't help but to break into a little fit of giggles.

"Matthew!" He whined, stomping in place pathetically.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Matthew tried to catch his breath in between spurts of snickering. "I'm not making fun of you, I promise."

"You sure sounded like you were." Gyuvin pouted and crossed his arms. "Look, I can leave and pretend this didn't happen, but..." His eyes drifted to the floor.

"But?"

Gyuvin shuffled his feet around and cleared his throat. His mind seemed to be working overtime. He sighed after a moment and turned on his heel. Matthew could've sworn he was about to storm off. His chest twinged at bit at the thought. But Gyuvin didn't leave. Instead he set his bags down beside Matthew's dresser and closed the door, paused, then locked it.

"But I want to hear you say that again." His expression had turned stern.

Matthew felt his face heat again. Right, he was supposed to be the embarrassed one here. He'd been walked in on and he'd completely forgotten as soon as Gyuvin acted cute. He really was done for.

"Matthew."

He yelped then cringed at the noise. "Yeah?" He squeaked.

Gyuvin took a careful step forward. "Can I- please- can I touch you?" His face was no less red than before, but it seemed he'd found some confidence.

Matthew couldn't stop the nod that came out of him. "Please." it sounded desperate, but he kinda was.

Gyuvin approached slowly, taking off his jacket on his way. He kneeled in front of Matthew's bed, eyes trained on Matthew's. "Can I...?" He gestured to the blanket that was still draped over Matthew's lap.

Matthew bit his lip and nodded. God, what was he getting himself into?

Gyuvin was so gentle, sliding the blanket off slowly and deliberately. Unveiling Matthew like he was something precious. He exhaled deeply once he was in full view. "Wow." He breathed, his hands floating absently around. "Okay, hhhh, okay, wow."

Matthew chuckled under his breath. "Am I that impressive?"

"Yeah..." Gyuvin whispered, half there. "You're really pretty, Hyung."

Matthew felt his dick twitch at the compliment and groaned. "Sorry, I-"

"Don't be." Gyuvin interrupted. "It's cute." He swallowed and took his eyes off of Matthew's crotch, seemingly with great effort. "I'm gonna start now, okay?"

"O-okay." Matthew winced at himself.

Gyuvin gently wrapped his hand around the base of Matthew's cock, squeezing softly. "Warm..." he mumbled absent-mindedly. He inched his hand upward, more feeling him up than trying to get him off. He placed his hand on Matthew's inner thigh and scooched forward, eyes twinkling with interest. He thumbed at the bit of skin connecting Matthew's foreskin to the head of his cock, making him gasp. Ever so slowly, Gyuvin started moving his hand, working his way up and down Matthew's shaft, staring intently at every movement.

Matthew covered his mouth with his hand. Not only was Taerae asleep not even 30 feet away, but it just felt way too embarrassing to let Gyuvin hear anything. Even if Gyuvin was the one making him make the embarrassing noises. Jesus, this was really happening. Matthew stole a look downwards. Gyuvin, with his hand on Matthew's dick. He couldn't comprehend that, even just as a sentence. His brain flashed that same image of Gyuvin baring over top of him from before. "Gyu-...Gyuvin?" He tried not to pant.

"Yes, Matthew?" Gyuvin had no intention of stopping his movement now that he'd started, Matthew's voice seemingly only spurring him on.

"What you said before..." Matthew winced and covered his mouth again, whimpering into it. "Did- ah- did you mean it? Do you want- ah- me to call you-" He was cut off by Gyuvin's increasing pressure on his dick, strokes speeding up the more he talked. "Ngh!" A strangled moan fought its way out, somehow making Matthew blush even deeper.

"Call me what?" Gyuvin's voice came out darker than before. He might be even worse off than Matthew.

"Oh, come on! You know- ah- what I'm talking about." Matthew whined.

"Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it." Gyuvin finally took his eyes back off of Matthew's dick. "Please."

And who could deny a face like that? Red down to his collarbone, pupils blown, lips parted just enough that Matthew could see his tongue. "Gyuvin... Gyuvin-oppa." The embarrassment curled its way up through Matthew's stomach.

"Fuck..." Gyuvin's head dropped to his chest, strokes going lopsided. "Matthew, I really want you in my mouth right now, but I've- I haven't-not with a guy anyway-" he blathered.

God, he was so cute. "You can- if you want. I wouldn't mind. I can teach you." Matthew reached down and stroked the top of his head. "I mean as long as you don't bite it off, I think you're fine." He chuckled.

Gyuvin whined incoherently. "Matthew, no fair." He flopped forward, squishing his cheek into Matthew's bare thigh.

"Sorry, sorry." Matthew smiled fondly at the top of Gyuvin's head. He wasn't sure if they'd ever had this much contact before, but maybe that was for a reason. "Gyuvinnie-"

His head shot up and he gave Matthew what was probably supposed to be a glare, but his fucked out expression overrid it.

"Gyuvinnie...Oppa." Matthew swallowed. He hated that it'd already gotten easier to say. "Let me teach you, huh?" He braved a hand on Gyuvin's cheek, which he immediately nuzzled into. Cute. He scooched forwards on his knees, crotch absently bumping into Matthew's shin. "Jesus." Matthew wasn't sure if Gyuvin's dick hit him or straight bone. "You're really hard."

Gyuvinnie nodded lazily. "You're really hot."

"Do you... I mean, I could teach you... by example, if you want?" Matthew felt like he should probably be embarrassed, especially given how embarrassed he was at just calling Gyuvin a name, but he wasn't. He was kinda curious, if anything.

Gyuvin's eyes shot open- as open as he could make them, given his state. "Oh! Um, uh- o-okay. If you want."

"Don't worry, I have experience." Matthew smiled smugly. "Come up here." He patted the bed then slid off, pulling up his sweatpants as he went. Gyuvin crawled up onto the bed, knees clamped shut. "Relax, I got this. Tell me if you need a break." He paused. "Gyuvin-oppa." The expression on Gyuvin's face made Matthew smile like a cat. He leaned forward and started busying himself with Gyuvin's fly. It was no easy task given the massive tent blocking his view. Even through his pants, Matthew was already dreading how big Gyuvin was going to be. His fly came undone and Gyuvin lifted his hips to making tugging his pants down easier. He was chewing on his sleeve. Cute. Matthew braced himself then tugged down the waistband of his boxer-briefs. Gyuvin's cock sprang free with a bounce. "Jesus christ." He stared open mouthed at it.

"Is something wrong?" Gyuvin pouted down at him.

"No, it's just..." Matthew tried to measure it with his hand, but it was too small. "You're kinda massive." He swallowed.

Gyuvin giggled above him. "Oh, come on, it's not that big."

"No, I like, seriously feel bad for any women you've been with." He pulled Gyuvin's cock forward so it stood straight, making him whine. "Jesus."

"Hng- Hyung if you're gonna touch it, can you give me some warning first?" He panted.

"Oh, sorry Gyuvinnie." He met Gyuvin's eyes. The face he was making made Matthew go a little crazy. One eye closed, the other half lidded, mouth agape with a silver string of spit connecting his top and bottom lip. His brain backfired. "Here's your warning." He smiled wryly then took Gyuvin's head into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, occasionally flattened it to drag it along the slit.

"Fuck! Hyung-" Gyuvin twitched forward. "That wasn't- ngh- much of a warning!"

Matthew hummed around him in response, eliciting a wonderfully strained noise from Gyuvin. Something childish and competitive was burning in him, like he had to prove himself. He bobbed his head down a few centimeters, working the rest of Gyuvin's length with his hand. He took a deep breath before taking him in until he reached his fist, the head knocking into the back of his throat.

"Hyung- fuck- I'm really sensitive- it's been a while-" Gyuvin babbled. His hands came to rest on the back of Matthew's head, tangling into his hair gently. "Careful please."

Matthew pulled off with a pop. "Of course, Oppa." He smiled at the desperate noise that made its way out of Gyuvin, then plunged his way all the way back down. He bobbed ever so slowly, willing his throat to take just a little bit more. Fuck, Gyuvin was big. He tried to not imagine what it would be like inside him, how deep it would reach. He felt his throat start to spasm and backed off. If he couldn't take it all in his mouth he'd just have to treat the part he could fit extra special. He pressed his tongue firmly against the side of Gyuvin's shaft and moved it side to side as he bobbed. Spit was dribbling from the corners of his mouth at this point but he didn't really mind, it was just extra lubricant for his hand to pump the bottom half of Gyuvin's dick with. The soft gasps and moans above him were slowly turning into muffled, stuttering grunts. He pulled off just enough to give Gyuvin's slit kitten licks. "Close already, Oppa?" Matthew looked up to make eye contact. Shit, that was a mistake. Gyuvin's eyes had a fire he couldn't quite place, but he could certainly guess. It made his stomach drop straight to his feet.

Gyuvin's fingers curled into his hair firmly. "Don't stop. Wanna cum in your mouth. Please." The words were slurred but the look on his face was as if this was a matter of life and death.

"Greedy." Matthew huffed, but sunk back down onto him nonetheless. It'd been a while since he last let someone cum in his mouth, but this was his Gyuvinnie. Even if he was sucking his dick at the moment, he still did have a soft spot for him. He wondered how Gyuvin would taste. He sped up his strokes in time with his head movements, spurred on by the light pressure Gyuvin was applying to the back of his head. He tongued lightly at the underside of Gyuvin's glands, making him groan.

"M'close..." His hands pulled at Matthew's head gently.

Matthew took that as a sign to go deeper. He bobbed down to brush his nose against his knuckles again, filling his mouth to the brim. He hollowed his cheeks and worked his head up and down. He felt Gyuvin start to shudder. He plunged down so Gyuvin was at his throat, then pushed himself a little farther. He suppressed a cough as Gyuvin moaned.

"Matthew!" He gasped as he spilled into Matthew's mouth and down his throat. His hands tugged at Matthew's blond hair as he rode out his high. Matthew felt strings of cum shoot down his throat and over his tongue. It tasted sweeter than normal, maybe it was because of all the snacks Gyuvin was always eating, or maybe Matthew's brain just ignored the bitterness more easily because of who's it was.

Matthew tapped Gyuvin's thigh as soon as he was sure he was finished.

"Oh, sorry!" Gyuvin let him go and hung his head back.

Matthew slid off of Gyuvin's dick slowly, enjoying the way he jolted from overstimulation. "Gyuvinnie, look." He tapped his leg again.

"Hmm?" Gyuvin's head fell forward again then froze.

Matthew stuck his tongue out with an 'ahh", cum dribbling down the entire surface. A bead fell onto his lap but he swiped it up with his finger and put it back in his mouth. He made sure Gyuvin was watching as he swallowed.

"Oh... my god?" Gyuvin sat shell shocked.

Matthew giggled at him. "Figured you'd like that." He stood, legs wobbly. "Scooch." He shooed Gyuvin to the side then sat next to him, resting his head on his shoulder after a moment. "Was it a good lesson, Gyuvinnie-oppa?" he snickered, pushing into Gyuvin.

"Mhmmm.' He stretched it into a hum. "Gimme a minute to recover, then it's my turn."

"Your turn?" Matthew scoffed. "Isn't it my turn if, y'know, I'm the one getting it?"

"Nope." Gyuvin rested his head on the wall and smiled, arms behind his head. "My turn because I'll have more fun."

Somehow, Matthew's face got even warmer. "I don't think that's possible. I mean, didn't you have fun when it was 'my' turn?" He made air quotes with his fingers.

"Of course I did!" Gyuvin pouted down at him. "But I wanna see your face when I suck you off." He grinned.

"I- uh- okay." Matthew stuttered, head filling with images he'd rather not share. "You've sure gotten brave in the last ten minutes."

"I don't think it's possible- even for me- to take 'hey can I suck your dick' as a bad sign." Gyuvin hummed contently then slid down on his back to the floor. He flipped over then sat. "So..." He looked up at Matthew with that same unplaceable fire from before. "Hey, can I suck your dick?"

Matthew wasn't sure whether to laugh or blush. He settled on nodding. "Y-yeah, you can..."

"Don't worry, I had a very good teacher." Gyuvin beamed up at him, splitting his face straight in two.

"Someone's excited." Matthew mumbled behind his hand.

Gyuvin nodded, leaning forward. "Someone's hot." He tugged down Matthew's sweatpants and boxers in one motion. His cock bounced into his stomach. "Hello again, pretty."

"Shut up." Matthew pushed at Gyuvin's shoulder.

"You'd rather I lie?" Gyuvin huffed in faux anger. "It's pretty... you're pretty." His voice got airy all of the sudden, like he was under some dick-spell. "Matthew-hyung? Can I ask a favour?"

Matthew swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. "Yeah, Gyuvinnie?"

Gyuvin's eyes hazily made their way up Matthew's torso to meet his eyes. "Can you take off your shirt- please? I really wanna see you-... your muscles... they're so nice." Rather than being spoken, the words vaguely floated out of Gyuvin's mouth.

Matthew tried not to flush. If working out made Gyuvin act like this, he might have to never stop. Without a word, he tugged his t-shirt up over his head. Judging by the strangled gurgle that came from Gyuvin, it was a nice view. "There." Matthew turned his face away. "Anything else?"

"No..." Gyuvin's glassed over eyes traced him from head to... well, other head. "Perfect- you're perfect." He mumbled, leaning over to press a kiss to the inside of Matthew's thigh. "So pretty." Another on his hip.

Matthew's breath got caught up in his throat, coming out clicky. Gyuvin looked almost how he imagined, ready to eat him alive, but in his fantasies Gyuvin wasn't quite so... far gone. Honestly it was hotter this way, affecting him so deeply.

"Matthew..." Gyuvin breathed. Locking his eyes on Matthew's, he trailed his tongue down the crease where his hip met his thigh. It made Matthew shiver.

"I don't think I taught you that..." Matthew panted.

"No, but I wanted to do it." Gyuvin muttered, voice darkening. "Please, Seok Matthew, can I taste you?"

Matthew shuddered, eyes trying to escape from Gyuvin's gaze but suddenly unable to. He nodded slowly, out of focus. "Yes..."

Gyuvin inched his way closer. "Yes, who?" Matthew could feel his breath ghost across his cock.

"Oppa- Gyuvin-oppa, please." He blabbered, face hot with shame. He'd do anything to get Gyuvin's mouth on his dick at this point, calling him a name among the less detestable. Still, the small part of Matthew that was still lucid screamed at him to stop, or slow down at the very least. That part was stupid anyway.

"Good- perfect." Gyuvin mumbled, pressing his lips to the head of Matthew's cock, kissing it gently. Ever so softly, like he was a dog trying to sneak a treat while no one was looking, he placed his lips around Matthew, just below the head. His tongue felt around curiously, sliding around him and licking up the precum he'd leaked. "You taste nice..." Gyuvin muttered, mouth still full.

The vibrations made Matthew gasp before slapping a hand over his mouth.

Gyuvin let Matthew fall out of his mouth then leaned up close to his face. "None of that." he took his hands and pulled them away from his face. "Wanna hear you."

"But- Taerae's-"

"Sleeping and behind a door. Shush. Lemme hear." Gyuvin spoke as if he was saying the most logical thing in the world.

"O-okay." Matthew let his hands fall. He moved one to rest on Gyuvin's cheek. Gyuvin took him back into his mouth, maneuvering Matthew's cock into his cheek, poking him in the hand. He giggled at himself.

"Very funny, Gyuvinnie." He couldn't help the fond smile that made its way onto his face. Gyuvin only responded by taking Matthew in deeper, making him hiss. "Fuck, Oppa." Gyuvin flicked his tongue over the bit of skin connecting Matthew's foreskin to the head of his cock. Matthew tried to hold back his noises, but it was much harder without a hand to muffle himself. He could feel Gyuvin smile around him. Gyuvin bobbed lower, taking nearly all of Matthew into his mouth. Matthew stole a glance down only to be met with Gyuvin staring intently up at him. Fuck, is that how he looked a minute ago? Hair messy, cheeks full, lips pink, eyes hazy and glassed over, big and pleading. Gyuvin hollowed his cheeks and slid up and down Matthew's length, tongue pressed flat against it. Matthew chewed on his lower lip, worrying away at it in some hope to make the embarrassing whimpers he was making die down. He couldn't take much more, this was all so overwhelming. Plus he'd been played with off and on for well over 30 minutes, and he wasn't exactly the most desensitized person at the moment.

"Oppa, please- Oppa I'm close- please-" It came out a lot less coherent than he'd expected but his head was spinning too much for him to care. Gyuvin hummed around him on some kind of question, one Matthew hoped he was answering correctly. "Please- wanna cum on your face- please Oppa."

Gyuvin backed off, only holding the head in his mouth once again. He pumped his hand as fast as he could make it go, tongue working at Matthew's slit. "So pretty for me, baby." he mumbled into Matthew. "Cum for me."

"Fuck- fuck- ah-" Matthew whimpered. His hips jerked back as he crested his climax, pulling himself out of Gyuvin's mouth. The first spirt landed on his lips, the sight drove him crazy. Ears ringing, 'world flashes white' crazy. "Fuck, Gyuvin-" his voice got caught in his throat. He slowly came down from it, the whole room spinning. He flopped forward unconsciously into Gyuvin, head to shoulder. After a moment he felt hands weave into his hair, tracing gentle circles into his scalp.

As his ears stopped ringing a quiet stream of 'You did so good's and 'So pretty's became the only sound he could hear. Gyuvin was mumbling at him, forehead to forehead. He looked down to see Gyuvin's sleeve covered in him.

"You... called me baby." Was the first thing out of Matthew's mouth. His voice was creaky and strained.

Gyuvin pulled away so he could look at him. He held his shoulders, thumb gliding back and forth. "Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just really excited." He laughed lightly, with an undertone of hurt.

"No, I-" Matthew wasn't sure what to say, or where exactly he was even going. "I didn't mind- I don't."

"Here." Gyuvin gently pushed Matthew down to lie on the bed. "I'll be right back, promise." He said, peeling his sweater off then crumpling it into a ball.

Matthew didn't have to wait long before Gyuvin reappeared with a glass of water and a damp washcloth. "Do you need anything else?" He asked, a little panicked looking.

"No, that's more than enough." Matthew started to push himself up on his elbows but Gyuvin put a firm hand on his chest.

"Let me do this for you?" He sounded almost guilty. He took Matthew by the chin, wiping at the corners of his mouth and his bottom lip. The washcloth was warm, and smelled faintly of the hand soap Ricky had bought claiming 'No way I'm washing my hands with a bar'. "Sorry in advance." Gyuvin whispered before dabbing Matthew's softening dick clean, making him flinch at the overstimulation. "Sorry, sorry. All done."

Matthew stared at Gyuvin as he stood and placed the washcloth in the laundry basket by his dresser. He just stood there facing the wall, hands pulled to his chest. "Gyuvinnie-"

"It's okay we don't have to talk about it if you don't want." Gyuvin interrupted. "I'm glad I got to do that though."

"Would you listen for once? I swear, this brat." Matthew grumbled and swung his feet off the bed. He padded over to Gyuvin and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him into a back hug. Matthew felt a little short for this, seeing as his cheek came to rest in between Gyuvin's shoulder blades, but the gesture was the same. "I'm not mad. I had a good time." He took a deep breath, steeling himself for his next words. "This might sound silly considering what we just finished doing but... I really like you Gyuvinnie-ah." He buried his face into Gyuvin's back. He felt a little bit too much like a middle school girl at the moment to properly face him.

"Oh, thank god." Gyuvin's shoulders sank. "I really don't know how long I could've dealt with casual sex. You're too pretty." He tried to turn but Matthew was latched securely to his back. "Hey, no fair Hyung!"

"No way I'm letting you see my face right now." Matthew's voice was muffled by the fabric of Gyuvin's t-shirt.

"But you let me see your face when you had my dick in your mouth?"

"That's different!" Matthew whined.

"Are you really more embarrassed now, Hyung?" Gyuvin chuckled and reached behind him to pat Matthew on the head. "It's too late, I already like your face no matter what it looks like."

"Hmm?" Matthew mumbled, tightening his grip around Gyuvin's waist.

"I really like you too Matthew-hyung. I like seeing you when you just woke up and your eyes are all puffy, I like seeing how happy you are when you dance, I like seeing you drool when you fall asleep in the car. You always look good." Gyuvin sighed, rocking the two of them gently from foot to foot.

"...If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna start thinking you have a crush on me." Matthew chuckled at himself, light and airy. He let go of Gyuvin's shirt slowly, like he was letting go of the dock as he stepped into a boat. He was just as rocky, anyway.

"Shut up." Gyuvin's smile was huge and sincere, creasing his eyes. "I'm, like, really happy right now."

"I can tell." Matthew snickered into the back of his hand. "C'mon. Let's get you cleaned up too. I'll help you wash up." He smiled fondly up at Gyuvin, taking his hand and pulling him to the door.

"Why does that make me nervous?" Gyuvin giggled.

"Because," Matthew looked over his shoulder at the Saint-Bernard who doesn't know how big he is that is Kim Gyuvin. "I'm pretty."

[lolokouhm]

FUSHIGOVER pt. II [I HAD ONE JOB]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

First of all, I didn't want to go to any party that night. Hear me out. From what I understood, my bare existence was apparently a threat to the cursed energy regulations in the school, so getting overly excited wasn't the best idea. Second of all, I somehow managed to avoid Fushiguro all day, so he wouldn't make my heart palpitations even worse. Normally, I'd also crack a joke about the whole "leaking" think in the context of Megumi, but even for me, it seemed completely inappropriate.

But that was a party Yuuji's decided to throw especially for him. Was I about to miss it?

Hell fucking nah.

I've said that me and alcohol didn't get along really well, but there was something about Nobara's drink-making technique that was making me forget about that awful relationship. Sometimes it made me forget even the parties, but such situations were quite rare. So when Kugisaki passed me a glass full of something, the only thought on my mind was...

"Cheers." Maki suddenly appeared next to me and sat comfortably on the couch. "Is that..." She pointed her glass in my direction. "Is that Nobara's poison?"

"Yeah. I was just supposed to be thinking about not getting hammered, but I don't think I can take it sober."

Maki laughed and looked around the room.

"Why is that dumbass not here yet?" She took a sip of her drink and sighed. "Yuuji's done literally everything to gather us here today."

Well, he did a great job, looking at the amount of people gathered in the room. Panda, Inumaki, Yuuta, all the first-years and even Hakkari were there. I guessed it couldn't be that hard though. Everyone waited. We were friends, and the friendship was even more hardcore than anybody could imagine.

I've had these thoughts from time to time. Looking at my friends, their scarred bodies, faces, hearts and souls - thoughts that made me angry. We should be dying from drinking too much during a party in Yuuji’s room every week instead of actually dying.

"Yo, Fushiguro!"

My heart stopped.

The room suddenly became way more lively, with students cheering, moving around and clicking their glasses. Somebody even got his hands on the light switch and started turning the lights on and off.

And in this whole mess, I couldn't breathe.

He stood there, leaning against the doorframe, a little bit taller than the last time I'd seen him, but also a little thinner. He wore black jeans and same colour long-sleeve that fit those broad shoulders of his so freaking well. His dark hair was messy, and it became even messier when he nervously ran his hand through it, definitely not expecting the excited reactions. For some reason, the nervousness in him was always mixed with a little bit of irritation, but I've known him long enough to see that in reality, he was glad. For some reason, he's never had too many emotions written all over his face. If you wanted to look for those - you had to do it right.

His eyes.

What a phenomenal thing, to be sitting. My knees went weak without even noticing. I stared and stared for what seemed like an enternity, and then I did the only one thing I could do.

"FUSHIGURO!" I pushed all my awfully lovesick thoughts as far as I could and jumped out of the couch, giving surprised Maki a small heart-attack. "YOU'RE BACK!"

Don't get me wrong now. I've never been the introverted type. I was just apparently really good at overthinking my feelings and these three weeks without him were the worst possible thing that could happen to me. Because I had been thinking. And really, was there that much to think about? I've had feelings, that's right. Romantic feelings. But my feelings were my problem and I had no intention of making them his problem. Not now, at least. It was under my control.

Fushiguro apparently heard me and he looked around, finally landing his gaze on me, which made me panic a bit, but being the fraud and impostor that I've always been in my little life story, I just smiled. I don't really think I'd smiled that sincerely ever before.

I had one job.

Just don't cry, you idiot.

Yuuji and Nobara had already hugged him and said their greetings. It was my turn.

And then, the world stopped once again.

It felt as if I made a wrong step. You know, the moment when you go up the stairs and you're ready to get even higher, but there's nothing - and you put your foot down and feel like you sink. The moment I got closer, the moment I could see him clearly, his soft scent lingering in the air, it felt as if someone took my heart out and ripped apart once again.

His cursed energy. Darker then ever, but his, so his, that it made me go insane. My hands started to shake. But here I was. A brave person.

"We've missed you." My voice was a bit quieter now.

And I hugged him.

He really became taller. And still, he was a little bit stiff, but the moment he wrapped his arms around me, I became exactly the same.

"Hi, (Y/N)."

I had one job.

I felt his breathing, slow and surprisingly relaxed, his warmth, this weird mix of his showering gel and... well, him, just him, and that alone made me kinda forget where I was. I turned my head around, to get a little bit closer to him, his chest, and then I heard it. The heart.

Beating.

It was like a wave. Honestly, a tsunami - as if it hit me and was ready, ready to rip him from my embrace, to take him away from me yet again, somewhere where I wouldn't be able to see him anymore. To hold him. To feel him. I squeezed my fingers on his black shirt even harder. It was definitely cotton. He wouldn't wear anything other than that.

I love you.

At that moment, I really hoped you could say it out loud. But I couldn't.

I had one job.

---

im getting emotional about this

[happy-mokka]

Hi there.

I'd like to start with a warning first: Beware!

I'm rather new to tumblr, so if what will come next turns out to be total bs, I hope you all get out of this unscathed, forget we ever crossed paths and will be able to go on with your beautiful lives.

If you're still here, you'll about to hear the nice and accurate story of a guy that stumbled naively into a Good Omens binge watching weekend and came out forever changed.

Roughly 4 weeks ago I was asking friends what they were watching currently. I needed new material to turn to.

That's when it happened.

One of them casually brought up Good Omens on Prime.

I should give it a try.

Angels, demons. Terry Pratchett. Neil Gaiman.

Ok. I like fantasy. I like good story telling. I have an odd sense of bad humour.

I decided to give it a try.

To my eternal shame I have to confess, that until lately I hadn't read a single line written by both Pratchett and Gaiman.

I've read thousands of books. My love for them is so widely spread over all genres, that it simply did never happen. There was always some other book and author that came next.

Oh, how blind and ignorant I have been. I now clearly see the grave error of my ways.

If you can't forgive me, that's ok. I'm having a hard time myself doing so.

Be that as it may, I'm currently reading Good Omens and won't stop there. I promise.

Update notice 2024-06-03 I am now 6 books into Neil Gaimans works, last one was this...

Update notice 2024-08-02

It's been now a few weeks since the allegations on sexual abuse by Neil Gaiman came to light. As a fan of his work I am devastated. As a decent human being I absolutely stand with the victims. Will I continue reading or watching his work? Well, I still have some books on my to-do shelf stack that I already bought and would not want to waste them. So I will read them at some point. Won't buy new ones, however.

As for shows he's involved with, I will continue watching them, if with the given circumstances anything new comes out at all... Too many good people are involved and invested in the works, that don't deserve punishment for his doings.

Good Omens was nothing short than life changing for me. I will never stop cherishing it and the person who brought it into my life (and I certainly don't mean Gaiman by this).

So, where was I?

Right.

Binge watch session of Good Omens season 1.

Saturday evening. Around 9:30pm.

Episode 1 wasn't even running for 5 minutes and I was already sucked right into it.

Frances McDormand's God intro and the garden eden scenes.

I was instantly in love.

Michael Sheen had already been one of my favorites. His first minutes as Aziraphale directly hit home.

David Tennant was familiar but I also hadn't been into Doctor Who, so it took another 5 minutes to also fall for Crowley...

The path was set and I started to deep dive in.

6 hours, 6 episodes, 1 Antichrist and 1 almost Armageddon later I crawled into bed on early Sunday morning to get at least a few hours of sleep. I fell asleep with an almost idiotic grin on my face and a feeling of deep content.

Only 5 hours later, technically still Sunday morning, I woke up, prepared a coffee infusion and switched the TV back on.

There were important deeds to be done. Episodes to be watched.

I could sleep later.

Narrator: No, he would NOT sleep later...

I again immediately fell for the 2 celestials.

The slightly different arc, no dramatic catastrophe on the horizon, instead beautifully written side characters and wonderful new details on the two main protagonists...an evolving love story that had already been clearly visible in season 1...

And god, or Satan, HOW I LOVED JON HAMM as Jimbriel...

I again ended up binge watching the whole season, only interrupted by a few coffee and bathroom breaks.

6 hours later. The end credits were already over for like an eternity and I hadn't moved. Just sitting there, all goosebumps and teared-up.

I ate something. Had to. Don't really remember tasting anything or remembering what I actually had.

I was dumbstruck.

The friend that had suggested to start watching GOs, hadn't let out much more detail, so I hadn't been prepared in the least, for the emotional train wrecked state it had pushed me into.

Hours later I finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning before work I just sent Tori Amos' Nightingale in Berkeley Park to my GOs friend followed by a ❤️, as a signal that I had watched it all and let her know that there was no need anymore to hold back with talking out of fear to spoiler me.

We had lunch together and spent the whole time rambling on our GOs induced emergency emotional state and the whole beauty of especially Gaiman's season 2.

The next days we kept randomly talking about GO before she pinpointed me to tumblr, in case I wanted to dare a real deep dive into GO fandom.

So here I am now. A week's passed. I've spent hours of reading so many amazing posts around here. So many eye-opening moments.

I'm not only speaking of all those perfect interpretations of GO and it's characters.

What impressed me so much more is the fabulous energy especially radiating from the queer community.

Not being queer, only having a few queer friends, I hadn't really realized, just how big a thing GO in general and season 2 in particular was for you.

Update notice - 2024/04/10

Attention! This installation of base module "Sexuality" is currently being updated to a more flexible one...work in progress...

Update notice - 2024/07/03

At an age where my eyeglasses turned bifocal, I finally came to the realization, that not only my eyes celebrate the duality of life. In fact my whole being did it for as long as I can think back. It is astonishing, how efficiently one can get used to ignore feelings, that society considers unseemly. So, finally, this is me here, bi and queer🌈.

I was raised to walk earth open-minded, to respect everyone, no matter of religion, gender, nationality and sexual orientation. This is so deep a part of my DNA and personality, that GO for me was just a beautiful story about the blind following of religion, the meaning of life and, most of all, love.

Both protagonists are played by male actors and apparently being in an ages long repressed gay relationship? I didn't even consider this unusual or anything else than normal.

2 immortals fall deeply in love, first into humanity, life on earth and then finally into one another, while trying to overcome all the madness of belonging to two opposing sides of the same medal.

A great parable on the pursuit of happiness. Skillfully written for the screen and perfectly casted and played.

Well that was then.

Now I see you and I have to thank you, for opening my mind even further.

For giving so much joy so generously, although every day is still a fight for your rights.

For giving me a space here among you and the chance to delve some more in beautiful minds and fanfiction.

So, if you're still here and reading this, maybe it was not all bs. Maybe it gave you some minutes of entertainment and distraction from every day's stress and problems.

It sure was for me.

I'll end this with some favorite Shakespeare quotes, although now I'm not so sure any more, if not some red haired demon might have actually written this...

"If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends."

☘️

A Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare

🔻🔻🔻

More personal middle aged ramblings:

👉🏻 birthday meldown 2024 🔥

👉🏻 my year in books 📚

👉🏻 1 year anniversary of Good Omens 😇😈

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 4: Looking For Good

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Summary: Telling Steve she has a new ride to school doesn't go so well.

Warnings: Swearing (but what's new) Billy bullying Max briefly. Also, Billy pressuring reader (Jess) into letting him give her a ride. (I include this because the reader says no after second-guessing her decision, causing Billy to push back, which can have some underlying themes for some, and I wanted to be sensitive to that.) As always, please let me know if I miss anything.

Word Count: 2.4K

Author's note: I know I know, I haven't posted in forever. Moving back to the States was an EVENT, to say the least. I have also been working on this for a while, many chapters are already written and I'll post them as soon as I feel they have been reread enough for them to be slightly okay.

Jess awoke that Sunday morning as she did every Sunday morning: already thinking of an excuse to not attend church that her parents would buy into. Luckily, she didn’t really need to think of one for long as she already had plans to invite Steve over to finally “help” him with his physics project. She was surprised her parents haven’t taken the hint by now, considering that she has been avoiding that place like the 10 plagues of Egypt ever since she experienced the capabilities of the upside down, and of course, Eleven. But since skipping downstairs and laying out why she refused to go was a blatant impossibility, she merely explained that Steve needed her help.  Thankfully, she didn’t have parents like Steve. Instead of the guilt trip, she received a slightly disappointed “tisk” from her mother, who then told her they’d miss her. 

Jess watched as her parents exited through the garage door, which was located next to the pantry in the kitchen, then proceeded to dial the Harrington’s line. She knew Steve would be up, as his parents were always explaining how if he wouldn’t go to church, he at least needed to be productive on his Sunday mornings, which involved him getting up at the same time as Mr. and Mrs. Harrington, at least when they were home.

“Yup?” Steve’s voice was groggy and laced with what Jess sensed as resentment, most likely caused by his mother’s usual “seize the day” spiel followed by her opening the blinds that shielded Steve’s bedroom from the unwelcomed amount of light. 

“Good morning to you too, Harrington.” 

His voice seemed to pick up a bit when he heard who was on the other side of the phone. “Oh hey, Jess, how’s your morning been? Better than mine I hope…” Steve’s voice lowered to a whisper at the last part he added.

Jess ignored the question and went straight into asking him to come over so they could finally get his physics project out of the way. With the promise of Steve being allowed to hide out for the rest of the day at her house and an afternoon nap, he quickly agreed and was knocking on the Logan’s door in no more than 20 minutes. 

Steve set the box full of different shaped and sized lenses, stands, a light, and everything else Steve was instructed by Jess to bring. “So. How was Friday with Hargrove?” He visibly tensed as he said his name, shaking his head in disgust after thinking about it for too long. 

“It was fine.” Jess tried to avoid eye contact as she began setting up his quick focal point experiment, bringing out the ruler as she set up the first lens. 

“Fine? That’s all you have to say about a day with Hargrove? Fine?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at Steve’s response, “What did you expect?” 

“Really?” was all he could say. He flipped the switch of the battery-powered light to “on”, and then gave Jess a knowing, disapproving look. She didn’t even have to look back at him to know exactly what Steve was expecting: a disaster. 

“I mean, he, unfortunately, has a thing for my mom, I’m pretty sure. But it’s Hargrove. He’s gross. That’s about it.” 

Jess didn’t know how to tell him that it really wasn’t that bad, or worse, that she may have had an okay time studying with him this weekend. She was also now realizing she didn’t know how to tell him that Billy Hargrove was under the impression that he would be taking her to school tomorrow morning. 

She decided maybe the best approach was to do so while Steve was distracted, so as they continued replacing the lenses and repositioning the stand, she started out slowly. “So… you know how Max and Billy live, like, right down the street?”

“Uh-huh…” Steve didn’t look up from his notes, working out the equation for the last lens they set up.

“Well, Max and him were wanting to give me a ride Monday… To school I mean.” 

Unfortunately for Jess, he was well aware Max and him just meant him, so he looked up from his notes, amused at the thought of Jess turning him down. “Ha! Did Hargrove throw a fit when you told him ‘No’?”

“He didn’t really accept ‘no’ for an answer…” Not that I exactly tried hard enough to tell him “No”. 

Steve dropped his notebook on her coffee table with a plop and then turned back his attention to Jess, who was now holding a tight-lined smile on her face, ready for the anticipated ridicule she was about to receive. “Oh come on. You know, kid, you really need to grow a backbone.” 

“I honestly think you’re making it out to be worse than it is. I mean, Max will be there. Plus, it’d save you the time and the gas. I’m like the opposite direction of school for you anyways.” 

Steve considered this for about a millisecond before shaking his head rapidly, “I’m sorry, call me crazy, but it seems like you want him to pick you up.” When Jess didn’t answer right away, he continues, “Oh Jesus H, you’re not serious!” 

“No! I don’t want him to, but I mean… I think he just wants to study one last time before school, you know, for the quiz and stuff…”

“Look, I don’t like the idea of you around him. When I came to that night in the back of that car and you weren’t there, I freaked.” He then lets out a sigh before continuing, “You just need to be careful with him is all I’m saying.”

“I am.” But that was a lie. There was nothing careful about what was going on. There was nothing careful about him coming over to her room, being able to look through the intimacies of her life. There was nothing careful about spending time at his home, alone with him. There was nothing careful about allowing herself to laugh at his jokes, or allowing him to buy not only her but her parents dinner. And there was nothing careful about getting in the car with him, giving him permission to take her wherever he wanted.

As if reading her mind, he ducked down slightly to meet her gaze, “Jess. I promise. You’re looking for good where there isn’t any.”  He then gave her a sympathetic smile and picked up his notebook, continuing to jot down what he thought was the correct answer to the equation. 

After a few hours and many corrections made by Jess, they were finally done with the physics lab. She assured Steve they could pick up the materials later and allowed him the couch to take that nap he was promised, and after she made sure she heard him snoring, she grabbed three muffins from the container in the fridge and walked over to the Hargrove/Mayfield household.

As it was three in the afternoon, she wasn’t sure whether Billy would be home from work, but seeing his Camaro in the driveway answered her question of whether or not to knock on the door. It seemed as though Max and Billy were the only two home, something Jess was grateful for considering her first run-in with Mr. Hargrove was not as pleasant as most of her run-ins with other adults. When Max opened the door, she looked excited to see her, but immediately looked behind her and shut the door, holding in her excitement until she was sure Billy couldn’t hear. 

“Hey! Oh, you should have seen Dustin’s hair Friday! It was insane.” Max then realizes Jess is holding not one, but three muffins in her hand, and cocks her head to the left. “Are all of those for me?” 

“Well, one is, but I’m actually here to talk to Billy for a few seconds. Is he here?”

Max took one of the muffins, bit into it, and then proceeded to talk in between bites. “Ew. Why?” 

“It’s about him taking me to school on Monday…” 

At this, Max’s distaste turns back into excitement. “Wait, we’re taking you with us?” 

“Well, no, not anymore, I was thinking I’d stick to Steve taking me to school.” 

“MAX! WHO’S AT THE DOOR?!”

“NOBODY!” Max rolled her eyes before continuing, “Please, please, pleeeaaasee let us pick you up tomorrow. He might actually not be such an ass if you’re there.” As she finished her pleading, the door swung open, with none other than Billy Hargrove standing at the entrance. 

“Hey, princess, couldn’t wait to see me?” It was Jess’s turn to roll her eyes as she handed the remaining two muffins to Billy. 

“Hey! Why does he get two?” 

Jess ignored Max’s annoyed expression and proceeded to change the subject. “So I’m just going to ride with Steve tomorrow. Don’t worry about picking me up.” 

Before Billy could respond, Max continued from earlier, “Tell Steve we’ll bring you to school in one piece.” 

“You heard the little shit, we’ll make sure to take real good care of you. Plus, I need you in the morning.” 

“Why?” Max’s look of disgust made a return, which seemed to irritate Billy as he coldly looked back at her and ordered her back inside. 

“She can stay if she wants to stay.” Jess began to remember why she took a disliking to him in the first place. It was easy to forget how… awful... Billy could be if he wasn’t sitting there joking with you, actively trying to be nice to you. You’re looking for good where there isn’t any. The thought made Jess clench her jaw only slightly, but enough to make Billy notice. “Yeah, I’ll just ride with Steve. See you, Hargrove.” She then allowed herself to give him a short smile before heading back in the direction of her home. 

He had only watched her walk away for a second until he decided he needed to catch up to her, not liking how that conversation ended. Billy pushed the muffins at Max without thinking and started striding after Jess. “Hang on there, Logan,” he mocked the way she spat out his own last name, “You gotta help me study before the quiz.”

“I don’t gotta do anything.” There it was: the attitude that Billy was sure they have gotten passed. It made him pull his body back in recoil, being discomforted by the thought that she may not have been warming up to him this weekend after all. Sure, it really had only been two days, but he was enjoying her company, considering it was better compared to who usually kept him company, and he could have sworn she felt the same, at least a little bit? “Look, I already promised I wouldn’t say anything about our reading sessions or your dad, okay? You don’t need to keep an eye on me. I’ll see you for our next project.” 

“Keep an eye on you? Did I do something wro-“ 

“I don’t like the way you talk to Max.” She blurted out, which surprised both her and Billy, and when Billy couldn’t think of anything else to say, she continued, “I don’t like the way you talk to anyone actually. Or about anyone. Or with anyone. You- you’re just. You don’t…” Jess didn’t know any other way to say it, “You’re not a nice person, Billy. And I don’t have time for that. So thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested.” She stayed looking at Billy, who refused to look anywhere other than his feet. He began to run his tongue across his top row of teeth, mouth shut and downturned, and began to nod, as if he was thinking about what was said. He then looked up, still not at her, but to her house where he saw a familiar vehicle in her driveway: Pretty Boy’s BMW. 

Makes sense. He thought to himself. “So I’m guessing King Steve didn’t approve when you told him, huh?” 

The question irritated Jess even more. Not just for the mere fact that Billy didn’t believe she could make her own decisions, but just hours ago Steve accused her of the same. “I can decide for myself who takes me where. Thanks.” Silence. “Did you not listen to a thing I said? I said I don’t want to be around you because you’re an asshole, not because Steve said ‘no’!” 

“Oh no, I heard you, Jess. It just seems weird to me that last night you were completely fine with me taking you and now when Steve’s over, you tell me to fuck off.” 

“When did I ever say I wanted you to take me to school? When you asked me, or excuse me, told me you were taking me, did I once say, ‘yes’? Did I once ask you to take me to school?” Billy was now looking at Jess with an expression she didn’t recognize, which made her uncomfortable enough to look away. 

“Can I take you to school tomorrow, please?” But the softness in his voice jerked her gaze back to him, trying to analyze him, to see if there was any hint of insincerity. He quickly looked over his shoulder before continuing. “You’re right. I didn’t ask. And I’m sorry. You don’t have to say yes, but shi-Max wants you to come with, and, I… want you to too. So.” This made Jess furrow her brows. In some ways, he was right. She had every intention of going with him until this morning. She wanted to help him study, considering how much work he put into their reading sessions this weekend. But of course, Steve was also right. There was no way around it, Billy was a dick. To his sister, to his sister’s friends, to her friends, even to his own friends. 

When it was made obvious to Billy she didn’t seem ready to respond, he sighed and continued, “Look, I’ll be at your house at the same time I told you last night, if you don’t come out then I’ll leave, okay?” 

“I’ll help you study.” Is all Jess said in response to his offer, and began to walk back to her house. Billy took what he could get and nodded after she had already turned away, and did the same, returning back to his house. Billy didn’t realize that Max stayed out by their doorway, attempting to watch the whole thing. Before he could give her shit for being nosey, he replayed Jess’s words in his head. “Give me those,” is all he said as he took the muffins from her hands and went back to his weights.

[anamelessfool]

Ribbons & Ties (AO3 Link) Chapter 4

M/M, GEN (Ch 3 Here) 2000ish words

Terzo x Omega, Terzo & Family, Terzo & His Ghouls, Cardinal Marian is in there for like ten minutes

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Commitment, Rom Com Energy, There's a Wedding, Secondo is Papa Emeritus, Gift Giving, The ghoul names are all messed up sorry it is for plot purposes, I can't have Fluff without some Angst sorry

For reasons beyond Terzo's understanding, he wants to give Omega a present for the ghoul's "birthday". It proves to be a lot more complicated than Terzo realizes.

Art by @kabukiaku used with permission

Chapter 4 Below the Cut! (We like Reblogs, Comments and Kudos omnomnom)

Refusing the gift was an innocent decision. But tonight it felt personal.

4

The Satanic Church of the Void was populated mostly by humans, and therefore their wedding receptions followed the typical ebb and flow of drama and joy. There would be at least one person crying in the bathroom over someone else. Later on, maybe someone would trip over an errant step, or pull something from dancing too intensely. The bride’s bewildered family was already slipping table decorations into their handbags.

But the moon was perfectly at first quarter and the paper lanterns above gave a cozy glow over the entire courtyard. It was going to look fantastic in the pictures that nobody would go back to see.

Nihil had entrapped Copia in an excitable one-sided conversation about either plant emotions or the lost experimental recordings of Syd Barrett’s cousin’s next door neighbor that were perhaps too far out for modern society. Copia, well practiced in how to nod politely, discreetly read a book under the table.

Secondo and a few other magicians had created an impromptu Conclave meeting, a brooding theological discussion over cigars that was way too intense for the occasion.

Smiley baby Paul was in his glory, biting every unsuspecting family member he could before falling asleep in his mother’s arms.

Terzo watched most of this play out from the stage, occasionally striking up the band for a few numbers. He felt protected on his perch, although normally he would find a way to collect as many eager Siblings as possible for a raucous private “party” nearby. And some siblings all night had been attempting to get such a party started through a variety of tactics: staring at him through their wineglass, or lingering close to the stage suddenly deeply interested in the dance floor parquet or the lighting situation. He chose to ignore them, a rare action that surprised him.

There were a lot of things that surprised him about himself that evening. For one, the image of the couple standing united would not leave his mind. A crowd of people cheered them, celebrated them. Terzo felt a hungriness that he had no idea what could sate.

And the gift. His gift thoughtlessly chosen, and then politely declined. Refusing the gift was an innocent decision. But tonight it felt personal.

Marian appeared with a platter of hors d'oeuvres for the musicians. Alpha quickly grabbed it from her, pulling it up onto the stage and away. He paused, slightly offering some to Terzo. YOU FIRST, IF YOU WANT.

Terzo had his feet on the ground, leaning against the side of the stage, arms crossed. He had been feeling a combination of wistful and guilty this entire time, which ended up becoming a general sense of seasickness. He waved it all away. Alpha shrugged and dropped the platter on a stool, the rest of the ghouls drawing close. They snatched at the little appetizers, swallowing them under their masks toothpick and all.

Marian raised an amused eyebrow at them, then considered Terzo. “Wow, they can really tuck it away. Literally.”

Terzo shrugged. “They eat mostly for fun.”

“That so?” Marian frowned just thinking about it, then switched gears. “Did he like the gift?”

Terzo stared hard at the ground. “Didn't open it. Refused to open it.”

“Oh. Damn.” Marian blinked her eyes. She had been blinking them slowly this entire time and Terzo realized it was a desperate attempt to keep her makeup from running. She added, “Are you doing a speech later? At dinner?”

“Secondo didn't ask. He asked Copia, actually.”

“Damn,” Marian repeated. “That's…wow.”

A sudden tide of bitterness swept over him, and as usual he felt the compulsion to drag someone down in it with him. If he was going to feel this exposed, then there was going to be some collateral damage. “You and Copia have a lot in common, you know.”

Marian snorted. “Don't even…”

“You're both weirdly over-invested in Secondo,” said Terzo. “My brother’s had over half this room and nobody else is dabbing at their makeup about it.”

“Over-invested? Do I look—” Marian blinked furiously at him, her lips attempting to twist into a neutral expression. “Besides, I bet Copia’s mouth tastes like boot. Pass.”

Terzo cackled, a little too loud.

“Well I'm off to get drunk, if you want to join,” Marian announced as she straightened the cape of her vestments.

“With you? No thanks.”

Marian froze, her gaze sliding into his. She adjusted her biretta. “Get bent, your Eminence,” she said, then left.

***

STILL CAN'T WAIT FOR THE TWENTY-FIRST? Omega’s eyes crinkled into a smile behind the mask. IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT. TRUST ME.

Dinner had been over for nearly an hour and the party was winding down in preparation for the wind up of after dinner drinks and debauchery. Terzo and Omega had slowly made their way to a far corner of the stone arcade surrounding the courtyard. They sat on the low wall there with their backs to the festivities, shielded by the stage itself. They took the opportunity to hold hands despite Terzo's glum restlessness.

“It frustrates me you can read my mind but I can't read yours,” muttered Terzo. His eyes searched the floor. His blood was still boiling over about the gift for some indeterminate reason. He crossed his legs, uncrossed them, then resorted to resting his head on the ghoul’s chest. That action seemed to calm him down.

Omega wrapped his arm around him, softly petting. THIS WEDDING IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU.

“Perhaps that's it.”

EVERY PATH IS DIFFERENT. SO FAR YOUR PATH HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. They were in a secluded enough spot that Omega lifted his mask slightly and brought his face down to kiss the top of Terzo’s head. BECAUSE IT LED YOU TO ME.

“Stop,” Terzo muttered.

WHY STOP?

“You're just…” Terzo felt a stabbing guilty pain in his heart as he looked up at the ghoul. “You're too good for me.”

NOT THIS AGAIN. The thought almost sounded like a grumble, the frustration amplified through Terzo’s anxious mind.

“The gift I picked for you doesn't compare. Doesn't measure up in any way.”

YOU HAVE EXTRA TIME NOW TO THINK ON IT.

Terzo let out a bitter laugh. “I won't. I'll wait until the last fucking minute and then just find something useless to solve the problem. Like always.”

Omega cleared his throat and Terzo met his eyes. They were their usual clear blue-grey, but in that moment they had an uncustomary hardness to them. Terzo waited for the reprimand.

STAND UP. Omega watched as Terzo obeyed. The ghoul guided the smaller man in between his legs and pulled him forward, nearly against his chest. Their eyes met. YOU TRUST ME, YES?

“I do,” Terzo murmured. “But I'm always a little afraid when you ask me that.”

I NEED TO KNOW FOR CERTAIN, THAT'S ALL. Omega brought one of Terzo’s hands in his own. He began slowly, almost teasingly slipping the glove off, finger by finger. He finished one hand, then brought it to the front of his mask, pressing it to the metal as if planting a kiss. NOW THE OTHER. He repeated the process with the left hand.

Terzo felt the leather slide across his skin, and his mouth parted as his breath hitched. His vision blurred, his face collapsing in a near ecstatic grimace. Blood rushed across his neck, down his legs as he let out a small unconscious groan. The ghoul removed the other glove and it felt like Terzo was now more bare before him than if he truly was naked. “What are you--” Terzo could barely catch his voice, and the low purr of Omega's breath behind his mask smothered his senses.

The ghoul gripped Terzo’s hands now, and brought them to the back of his own blackened neck, encouraging Terzo to slide them up under his mask. Terzo’s fingertips studied the firm muscles that quickly faded into the incorporeal essence bound by the metal mask. A black hole. The rim of his physical vessel.

Terzo knew ghouls had no head or skull to speak of, and Omega himself had bared all to him on several occasions. Under the mask it felt as if Terzo had dropped his fingers into a warm bath, except there was no feeling of wetness, just a strange static across his hands. In his mind’s eye he saw the bones of his hands, stark white against an infinite blackness, as articulated and intricate as paper cutouts. He heard Omega exhale deeply, watched his chest fall, and he felt the weight of his lover’s breath envelop his entire body like a blanket of calm.

WORDS ARE STRONGER THAN THINGS. AND IF WORDS WON'T COME, SHARE WHAT YOU FEEL.

Terzo’s eyes flicked from side to side. They were in the far corner of the arcade, concealed by the stage. He had thrilled himself before with erotic games, near misses and fumbling just outside the public eye. This felt even more intimate to him with just his hands under Omega’s mask. The ghoul breathed out again, and again Terzo sank into his miasma of affection.

He thought about the hands clasped and bound. He thought about cutting the ties, rising to their feet as one. For an instant afterward he thought about a moment in his childhood blurred by the decades that had passed. Crawling through darkness, his shoes tied around his neck so his feet and hands could feel their way. He remembered the thrill, of what he did not know. It was perhaps lost to him. There was the feel of papered wood, cold stones across his back—cold stones all around him, holding him secure, safe. He opened the wooden box and opened his heart.

There was an overarching fear, a hesitation. Omega gave Terzo’s waist a supportive squeeze. Terzo felt a bolt of nerves, a shiver shoot up his arms, and he pulled his hands away, gripping Omega’s shoulders. “Too much,” Terzo whispered.

MORE THAN ENOUGH. Omega leaned his large head forward to rest across Terzo's chest.

“What was I even seeing?”

SOMETHING WITHIN YOU ALREADY. SOMETHING YOU NEEDED TO SEE.

“A prophecy?”

NO, A MEMORY. Omega stroked Terzo’s back with a huge hand.

NOW TERZO THERE IS SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO ASK OF YOU. ONE REQUEST.

“Anything,” Terzo said, wrapping his arm around the ghoul’s head and peppering the sculpted metal hair with kisses. “Anything and I'll get it for you, amore.”

Omega pulled away from him and wiggled his fingers excitedly. THE MINI BEEF WELLINGTONS. THERE HAVE GOT TO BE MORE ROAMING AROUND. I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE FOR SECONDS.

Terzo finally laughed out loud, planting another kiss between the ghoul’s eyes. “I'll move Hell and Earth for you, my ghoul!”

HAVE FUN. I WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN. Omega stood up to full height and gently replaced Terzo’s gloves on his hands.

“The cake will be out soon. They've been making it for days. Six tiers.” Terzo’s face cracked into a wicked grin. “I'm going to bring you the entire top, my love.”

I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.

“I was quite the little thief in my day,” said Terzo. “Perhaps he's still in there.” Again the shred of memory returned, the feeling of his bare feet and hands on cold, pitted stone, scurrying through the dark, his younger heart hammering with excitement in a much smaller chest. Somewhere.

The ghoul’s moment of bonding must have knocked something loose inside him, something that had been buried for decades.

I'M SURE HE IS, TERZO. Omega rested a heavy hand on Terzo’s head. AND I'D LOVE TO MEET HIM.

NEXT CHAPTER (5)

My AO3 | Tumblr Fic List | My Terzo/Omega Fics

Please reblog! Thanks and have a lovely Solstice season!<3

[soft-for-yoongi]

as someone who enjoys reading emeto and snz, could u write a fic with both? maybe for yoongi? i dont know what scenario, sorry.

Just a cold? (Sick YG)

--------------------------------

Sick: Yoongi

Caretaker: Jimin, Seokjin, Hoseok

Tw: emeto, vom**, mentions of nausea, stomach pain, fevers, snz

Word count: 1227

Thank you for requesting!!! Sorry it took longer than I expected!! (I'm still working on other requests, too, so anons, if you see this, your fics are coming!)

--------------------------------

Yoongi has never been this congested in his life. Blowing his nose has stopped working and he sneezed too many times during a meeting that all the members were sent home. The rapper was grateful for the break but he had songs to produce, not that a single thought could get past his head with how stuffy he feels.

"H-h-hESH'ew.." Hoseok looks at Yoongi sympathetically. Yoongi kicked everyone else out of his room but Hoseok somehow made his way in. He's holding a tray with some soup (made by Jin), tea, more tissues and medicine of course. "Hey, hyung. Jin-hyung says you gotta eat all of the soup or he's gonna take away your laptop." Hoseok explains, handing Yoongi the bowl of home made soup.

Yoongi can't even breathe through his nose and mumbles a groggy, "t'anks Hoba.." he eats the soup slowly, and Hoseok peers over at him lovingly. "Does it taste bad or something? What's with that frowny face?" Hoseok teases, delicately running fingers through Yoongi's hair in a soothing manner. "Head hurts." Yoongi replies, continuing to sip soup off his spoon.

Hoseok tuts, grabbing medicine off the tray. "Take two of these, since you've eaten something. They should work within about 30 minutes." Hoseok hands Yoongi some water. He pops the pills and blows his nose again, chucking it into the half full bin next to his bed. "Keep eating, hyung but I'm gonna let you be. Jungkookie wants me to work out with him." Hoseok smiles, recalling Jungkook's begging to get him to come to the company gym.

Yoongi's mouth curls upwards, "thanks Hoba, enjoy." Yoongi says, now almost three quarters finished the soup. Hoseok pats Yoongi's foot through the blanket and leaves the room, switching the light off to the elder's pleasure.

-----

With the soup finished and after blowing his nose at least 4 more times, the ache in Yoongi's head is still persisting and his stomach is starting to feel uneasy, and not because of the soup. The rapper has been trying to fall asleep, in the darkness of his room it shouldn't be that hard, yet there he is. Wrapped up in blankets and hugging his stomach.

It had been around an hour and a half since Hoseok left and now Jimin comes trailing into Yoongi's bedroom. Jimin is about to retreat because he thinks Yoongi is fast asleep, that is until he hears a horrible sneeze and moan come from the lump in bed. Jimin stands frozen as Yoongi blows his nose and picks up the bin half full with tissues to—gag into it..?

"Are you okay, Yoongi-hyung??" Jimin says, beginning to stroke up and down Yoongi's back. He hugs the bin, gagging again and spitting out excess saliva. Jimin flicks the bedside lamp on and Yoongi's paler than normal features are highlighted along with his pink Rudolf-looking nose.

"My stomach doesn't feel good, Jimin-ah.." Yoongi says, throat clenching around a heave. Jimin rakes Yoongi's long hair out the way just in time for him to bring up a wave of Seokjin's soup. It looks too much like it did when Yoongi first consumed it and it makes him feel sicker. "Oh, hyungie.. you'll feel better once you're empty." Jimin coos, praying that someone else comes and finds them because at this rate, Jimin is horriblely worried. Yoongi just has a cold, right? Why is he throwing up?

Jimin shoots Seokjin a quick text, 'can you please help? Yoongi-hyung is throwing up :(((' he pockets his phone just as Yoongi pukes again. Jimin pats the elder's back, trying to block out the distinct smell of puke but alternatively can't imagine leaving his hyung alone like this.

The patter of Seokjin's feet quick on their hardwood floors is music to Jimin's ears. "Oh, Yoongi-ah... you poor thing." Seokjin croons, walking over and beginning to massage Yoongi's nape. The rapper is thankful and fast to lean into the oldest' touch. A wave of calm washes over Jimin, but he tenses slightly when Yoongi reels forward with a productive heave.

Seokjin eyes the bowl on Yoongi's bedside table and hums approvingly when he finds it empty of his delicious soup. At least he knows that's not the reason Yoongi's sick. "He'll be okay, Jiminie." Seokjin eases the dancer just a little, continuing to rub Yoongi's back and hold his hair.

Yoongi spits and Jimin hands him some water. "Small sips, Yoon." Seokjin comments and Yoongi complies, water soothing his throat and diluting the taste in his mouth. Yoongi palms his stomach with a grimace, "think 'm done." The rapper says, sniffling. Jimin offers a tissue to which Yoongi blows his nose and adds it to the bin.

"Stomach hurting, Yoongi-hyung?" Jimin ponders, while Seokjin whisks away to clean the bin. Yoongi lays back down in bed, nodding weakly. "I'll go get you a heat back, hyung–" Jimin turns to leave but a cool hand grips his wrist.

"Jimin.. can you stay?" Yoongi mumbles, if he didn't say it then it might’ve never came out. "Oh, of course, hyung!" Jimin grins, taking advantage of Yoongi's request for affection and joining Yoongi in his bed. "Get some rest, Yoongi-hyung." Jimin whispers, flicking the lamp off.

Jimin shuffles closer to Yoongi, their bodies pressed together under the covers. Yoongi felt calmness wash over him just at the comforting presence of Jimin, something unique to the dancer. The pain and discomfort in his stomach was still there, and his nose is congested, but tiredness weighs over his whole body.

Jimin could feel the warmth coming off of Yoongi, no doubt a fever. Seokjin comes back in quietly to return the now clean bin, "sleep well, you two." The eldest smiles, exiting the bedroom. Yoongi can hear whispers of conversation and laughter from their living room, probably Jungkook and Hoseok returning from the gym. Yoongi's stomach gurgles, reminding him of his motive to fall asleep.

Jimin's small hand moves from Yoongi's waist to his stomach, starting some light circles. For the first 20 minutes, it's comforting for the older, however the gurgling and relentless nausea isn't letting up. Yoongi gives in to a few deep breaths, trying to see if he can cope. He rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Jimin is watching him like a hawk, lips downturned in worry. "You okay, hyung?"

Yoongi starts to sit up when mucus runs down his throat, prompting a closed mouth gag. Before he can make a mess, Jimin swipes the bin up, sticking it under Yoongi's mouth. He starts to empty what's left in his stomach, mostly bile and water. He coughs and Jimin has to pass another tissue so Yoongi can blow his nose again. He continues rubbing Yoongi's back just like Seokjin did and murmurs words of comfort.

"Sorry, you'll have to clean it again.." Yoongi sighs, voice hoarse from the ordeal. "Don't worry about it, hyung. I can leave this in the bathroom and get you something else, are you still feeling sick?" Jimin asks, concern clear in his voice. Yoongi shakes his head weakly, "I'm okay. Just sore, thank you Jiminie." Jimin takes the bin and eases the rapper to lay down again. Jimin leaves the bin in the bathroom to deal with later and returns quickly.

"Night, Yoongi-hyung." Jimin snuggles up to the elder. "I'll always look after you."

[adeapamela]

₊‧.°.⋆ Blog Entry: THREE ₊‧.°.⋆

THE ODYSSEY OF

MANGO CRÊPE ๑༄ ‧₊˚

"Third time is a charm," they said, but this wasn't the case in this project. I'm curious about what kind of dessert I should make today, but one thing's for sure is that mango should be present since it's its season. As an indecisive person, I was torn between mango sticky rice and mango crepe, but the crepe won, obviously. I didn't make any fuss about it cause I believed that it was easy. I've made tons of crepe before, and I have this confidence and familiarity inside me. But who am I kidding? The last time I made this was 2 years ago.

I gathered up all the equipment and ingredients and started pouring the first candidate of mother of crepes. I scattered the butter all over the pan and ran the mixture in, and boy, I knew I had already messed up. I put way too much on the pan, and the consistency of the batter itself was too thick. The moment I was about to flip the ⋆⁺₊ crepe ₊⁺⋆ it kept sticking on the pan and in the spatula. Take note that I am using a nonstick pan in this.

Nevertheless, I always believed that "the first crepe is always the ugliest" to cheer myself up. I then switched pans; I replaced them with a pan with four circles divider. I said, "Maybe I should make mini crepes instead; it would be easier to flip." There again, my intuition failed me because the crepe that I was making had turned into some kind of horrible-looking pale omelet. My hopes were slowly crashing because after how many times I tried, it always resulted in the same until the doors of heaven sent me mercy. I JUST DID MY FIRST SUCCESSFUL PIECE OF CREPE ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞBelow are the ingredients and the procedures:

It wasn't an easy journey; there were many trials, errors, and frustrations. I have realized these mistakes and learned lessons during the process.

1. On my first crepe, I put too much butter on the pan, considering that it is a nonstick pan, so the crepe suddenly learned to skate because the pan's surface was too slippery.

So, I got myself a paper towel to remove the excess butter from the pan. This is also helpful in applying the butter evenly without burning it.

2. The batter I made was too thick and dense to glide smoothly through the pan's surface.

So, I adjusted some measurements and ingredients to have a runny consistency. This resulted in a light mixture, leaving a smooth, thin crepe.

3. I am too excited to pour the mixture without realizing the pan needs to be hot enough.

So, I waited for the pan to be hot and left the crepe alone. Yes, the crepe has social anxiety and needs to have its own space for a while. Once I saw that the top surface had dried out, that was my queue to flip it.

4. I was so impatient that I wanted to flip the crepe too quickly, so it kept sticking in the spatula and turning into a hideous omelet.

So, I realized that the spatula was only the sidekick here because my fingers were the real heroes on this journey. It burns my pointer and thumb a little (A LOT), but it's the only way to flip it without ripping the crepe.

5. I poured too much of the mixture into the pan, which resulted a pancake, and I was already rethinking my life choices here.

So, I got a small ladle to scoop the batter, similar to half a cup. This made the perfect decent-looking and uniform crepe.

Crepe ｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ˎˊ˗

Mix together the instant pancake mix (flour, egg, salt, and oil/butter) and the water (milk). Make sure that your batter is runny before pouring it into the pan. The pan should be on low heat to avoid having a burnt lumpiang shanghai wrapper. Filling ｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ˎˊ˗ Whisk or whip together the cream and sweetener for the filling, and then you're done.

I almost quit making this and thought I should've created something less complex. But that's the point of being alive. Having to feel pain, sadness, and happiness. Sometimes we have to face hardships to get better. It will not be easy, the process might hurt, but you will eventually learn to endure and find ways to improve it because that's the pain of learning.

[crochetedblorbos]

"Look, she's well steep."

Character Name: Montgomery “Three-Card Monty” Barker

Fandom: Realms of Peril & Glory (@realmspod), Liminal London campaigns [Podcast]

Played By: Naomi Clarke (@naomithinksit)

Yarn Used: Hair: CraftSmart Value - Toasted Almond Skin: CraftSmart Value - Taupe Birthmark/Mouth: Caron Lava Cakes - Sour Cherry Tracksuit: Red Heart Super Saver - Spring Green Zipper: CraftSmart Value - Heather Grey Shoes: CraftSmart Value - Tomato Soles: CraftSmart Value - White

Basic pattern here.

Monty, our beloved chicken nugget wizard. I fell in love with this kid pretty much from the moment I heard him (him being Naomi’s creation helped with that) and he’s just…adorable. And after Episode 4 of Loose Change (the fourth mystery), Great Googly Mooglies, that boy needs all the hugs. I hauled ass to get him finished in time for Episode 5 (I am writing this paragraph prior to actually finishing him, so we’ll see if I manage since it’s, uh, Sunday night). [Crafter’s note: I did not. I finished him two weeks later, in time for Episode 7.] He differs from the base pattern as follows:

Shoes: I actually used a different color for his soles this time! Like with Joseph’s, I did the soles in white, then switched to red for the body of the shoes. However, I did use white for the decreases at the toes in the first round of decreasing the shoes to give that white toe cap that’s so distinctive on Converse and Converse knockoffs (per Naomi, everything Monty owns is a knockoff). I also added an extra round of decreases to make longer flat tops to the shoes and skinnier ankles. The shoes went up to R9 like that, and then: R10: Ch 1, sc in front loops of first 5 sc, sl st in next 2 sc, sc in next 5 sc, sl st in first sc (12 sc).

Tracksuit: I asked on the Light & Tragic Discord, and Naomi was kind enough to inform me that Monty wears high-tops and tucks the hem of his tracksuit into them. I also wanted the pants to have a kind of baggy effect. So once I joined the tracksuit yarn, I chained 2, then did 2dc in the back loop of the first sc in R9, then dc in the back loop of the next 10 sc in R9, then 2dc in the back loop of the final sc in R9, sl st in first dc (15dc). I then continued as normal. I used the same method for his shirt as I did for Joseph and Gerry, just a bit higher up when I started the hemline. I also formed his torso the same way as I did Gerry’s—square most of the way up and then starting the decreases at the very end. Neither of these decisions were intentional, I just wasn’t paying attention to how many rounds I’d done. For the zipper, I tied three knots on top of one another to make a zipper pull, then embroidered in straight lines up and down either side of the zipper track before doing a cross stitch up the middle.

Head: Naomi said in S4E5 that Monty “had one of those big birthmarks” and I knew I had to include it. I didn’t really plan the defined edges of the birthmark, just changed color back and forth as seemed appropriate. Came out a bit Ziggy Stardust, but you know, it’s Monty. I also used safety eyes for him again. Think I put them in too far up too soon, because stitching around them was a pain in the ass, but it worked out.

Hair: I, uh. Forgot to start adding his hair in as low as I usually do, so his hairline is a bit higher in the back than normal, which is one of the reasons there are no pictures from behind, the other being that for some reason the seam got really jagged up the back (I’m guessing I wasn’t counting carefully enough and my joins got off). I’d meant for him to have a textured stitch to his hair, but I got to that point while I was away from home and didn’t have my book with all the stitches in it with me, so I improvised. I gave him a fun little swoosh of hair at the front. Turns out I was overcomplicating things with Hux’s and Mini’s hair. There’s a legitimate stitch called the hair stitch or fur stitch that does exactly what I was trying for on them with significantly less stress, so I used that here for Monty. Gives him kind of a cheeky look and I love it.

Arms: I used the same method I used for Joseph. I only stuffed up to R20 so he would have a little more flexibility in the shoulders.

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

[destinyc1020]

TCR Reviews: Episodes 5 & 6

I missed posting my review for Ep 5 last week, so I'll just combine it with my review for Ep 6.

*****WARNING: SPOILERS!!!!

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Ep 5 Review:

Overall, I felt like this episode was really good! I was glad that we as the viewers were able to get a little more insight into Danny's childhood. This episode was very sad to me though. 😔 And some scenes could have possibly been very triggering for some watching because is deals with the topic of child sexual abuse. 😔

To me, it's just utterly DISGUSTING how a grown adult would take full advantage of a CHILD and abuse them in this vile way, and basically rob them of their innocence like this. 😡 Those actions have awful consequences for the child victim, and many times they struggle with the abuse even into adulthood, and it basically ruins their adult life forever...especially if they don't receive any assistance/therapy. 😔

I kept praying that they weren't going to show us too much of the abuse in this episode, because that would have just been super sad. 😭 Thankfully, the show stopped just short of showing too much (thank goodness). I feel like Ep 4 started making it more and more apparent that Danny is dealing with DID and doesn't even realize it himself (but others around him can tell something is wrong with him), whereas I feel like Ep 5 kind of showed us why Danny is the way he is, and some of the reasons behind his mind split. The interesting thing though is that his mind seems to have split even before the abuse of the stepfather, so it makes me wonder if maybe he had some other possible childhood trauma in his history? 🤔

Anyway, by the end of Ep 5 I just felt SO SAD for Danny, and I keep wondering..."When is his life going to change for the better??" 😭 His life is just so sad and depressing. 😩 My heart goes out to him. With that said, I like how this show isn't making Danny into some kind of "monster", but is more so showing how we should have sympathy for his character and his mental struggles. I know a LOT of fans were worried that the series would focus on the murders and rapes, and were afraid it was going to cast people with DID in a bad light, and some were worried about seeing Tom in a controversial role like that, but so far, it's clear to see that a LOT of fan worries and anxieties (and assumptions) were waaay off base.

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Ep 6 Review:

I really loved this episode! 😃 I LOVED getting to know more about Rya and seeing more into her life. Now things are starting to come together. The pieces are all starting to fit.

Idk why critics claimed that the series is difficult to follow in the timeline. The timeline isn't difficult to follow imo at all. In fact, I actually LOVE when shows/films go back and forth from the past to the present. I like trying to connect the dots lol. Maybe they didn't add the "5 weeks after the Rockefeller shooting" taglines on the episode scenes at the time the critics saw the show?? Anyway.... Tom's acting! He did awesome in Ep6. 👏🏾😃I can't wait for more! I feel like we will get even MORE of his great acting in the latter episodes. He did the transitions so well too. You could see him switch from Jack to Danny so effortlessly. Even the way he holds his eyes... It's very subtle, but it's noticeable. His scenes in this episode remind me so much of James McAvoy's performance in the film "Split" and his therapist scenes. The switch btwn characters is just amazing. I'm glad they added those elements in this series as well.

After what I've already seen so far, I definitely think Tom deserves at least an Emmy NOD. I can only imagine we get more of his fine acting in latter episodes.

This series reminds me so MUCH of "Primal Fear" with Edward Norton. GREAT movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it! I saw it years ago, so when Tom said this series was going to be a lot like "Primal Fear", I already knew what type of ride we would be in for lol. 😅🤣

I honestly don't know why critics slammed this series so much. It has been a "slow burn" (sure), but definitely not anything horrible at all! I'm almost wondering if they even saw all 10 episodes?? 👀 I also love how the series isn't making Danny out to be a monster. I know a lot of fans were worried about that, but I had faith that they weren't going to go that route when I kept hearing about how the series was being described. I like how it's moreso focusing on his mental health. I love it. It's been very good so far. It's VERY much like the film "Primal Fear" imo.

Can't wait for Ep7!!! 😁👏🏾

[tophattrio]

TOP HAT TRIO ARCHIVES: Part 1

Warden: Look at all this lovely art of us! We could fill a museum! Professor: There's so much it seems like we can't keep up... Once-ler: ..... Y'kno what guys? I'm gonna take a break...

((A small fraction of my old old old trio art, most of which has never seen the light of tumblr (under the cut)! None of this is colored. Some of this is pre-blog or just... REALLY early-era Trio art, so some of it is... dated. Also, as indicated by the top, this is part 1. Meaning there will probably be more, LOL...))

((I hope it's okay if I ramble some fun facts in the middle of this!))

We're gonna start off with this silly lil doodle of the lads! This was drawn during the era where I did my silly crossover drawings, before I mustered the courage to turn them into an askblog.

Based on the date, I must've drawn this next one while I was in the process of actually making the blog... potentially their original "profile" images? Or just a doodle I did to get me hyped...

As you can see, all the drawings so far are pencil and ink... that's because (if I remember correctly) this is when I was VERY new to computer tablets! I felt more confident in my traditional art so I would slap quick colors onto the back of a bunch of ink-drawn replies and make minor adjustments with the tablet. I remember being hesitant to switch to a fully digital style since I felt the sketchiness was almost part of the style of trio? But I've come to accept change is good! Everything post-Greed M!A is all (or mostly) digitally lined (with the occasional trad sketch), but if you look closely at the trio in this (and many other) early-day responses, you can definitely see the pencil marks!

Unposted Thneedville High Trio!!! I was SO obsessed with the Once-ler Askblog AU's back in the Once-ler Fandom's hayday... they were a lot of fun to observe on the side and I wanted to be part of that in my small way, but unfortunately, I was a coward so I never did LOL... I'm thinking this was drawn in February or March 2013...

And, something I drew on the same page, Truffula Flu Trio!!!! I think I briefly thought about making it (and thneedville high) a sideblog but I felt like I couldn't commit for multiple reasons: (1) AU hype was dying down a little, (2) It was a bit too serious a concept for Trio; I wanted to keep them lighthearted and silly (covers bad end with a hand). And (3) I was still doubting whether or not my blog counted as a Once-ler blog (being only 1/3 once-ler) and whether I was valid to participate in events. Eventually I got over that fear when I joined Camp Weehawken and participated in the fandom revival of 2015, but the fear was definitely there at the very beginning and I hesitated to jump in on some stuff because of it!!

These were some of my earliest (unanswered) asks! I think for a while I thought I accidentally deleted the Pinkie Pie one, but it mysteriously came back one day?? I don't plan to finish these but might as well get some closure since I already drew them. I had to look up which troll typing was the one being used here so I might be wrong, I know nothing about homestuck except chapter 1 and 2 and whatever I osmosis from my mutuals LOL...

Peacock was drawn before I knew anything about Skullgirls...... within the past few years I recently watched her gameplay/storyline! She's defs a fun character. Trio are probs neutral about her. I'm not confident enough to do anything major with her, but I would love to cameo her more!

I got a few asks / M!A's about genderbent versions of the trio back in early 2013 and these were my doodles for that. The designs were based off of different designs floating around tumblr at the time that I liked. I'm not interested in doing this M!A anymore, but the dresses are cute!

Some glasses shenanigans I never posted for some reason?? (For reference: (1) (2) (3) (4).) It's silly stuff like this that make me realize Trio!Professor is a little bit like "Cheerful Mystery" Professor but like... waaaaay more tame HAHA (I never read the manga back then because I was upset they made Layton OOC, but from what I've seen he's... a lot more chaotic there). Which, ykno, good chance explains why Trio!Professor stays sane around Once-ler and Warden and their wacky selves.

Some wardlers and layclaires!! Also a few super old things I doodled out for Lovestruck M!A part 2 (including warden being a perv and oncie being flustered and confused, LMAO) but... idk if I have the energy to commit to it at the moment... partially bc thinking about getting an influx of shippy-type asks gets me overwhelmed and idk if I can commit to another magic anon all my magic anons manage to kill the blog somehow 😭, but ykno... saving the anons in my inbox in case I change my mind... Love these guys dearly regardless,,, <3

Some doodles of Layton and his rivals!! I think someone sent a small "Descole takes over the blog" M!A (hence the itty bitty chibi head LMAOO) but (again) I don't have the energy to commit to anything but vanilla THT right now. I still thought the idea was fun enough to draw out and anticipate in advance! If I change my mind y'all will know about it...

My first drawing of Wilson from Don't Starve!! I didn't even play Don't Starve at the time, but I wanted to do research if I was going to properly execute the magic anon and I fell in love with him immediately. Unfortunately he (and his game) became my new brainrot and I still feel really bad about that LAUGHS, but hey! Was worth it! Maybe someday I'll redo trio mods for DST...

I may have him cameo again, but potentially after his character update in Don't Starve Together eventually drops, of course, :3 chants give us lore lore loRE LORE-

Aaaaaand that's all I'm gonna show for now... until next time everyone!

PART 1 (you are here!) || PART 2 (TBA) || PART 3 (TBA) || …