#and I don’t want to bother him too much or anything

[kenntolog]

Can I request something with popular bf Gojo and shy gf reader where reader is getting belittled and bullied by a group of girls and has been for a while, but doesn’t tell Gojo cause he doesn’t want her to worry, and sort of taking what they say to heart a little. Gojo notice this and eventually reader breaks down and tells him what’s going on

as soon as it starts, gojo notices something shifting in you immediately.

it’s not a visible nor a clearly sensible shift in your behaviour or appearance, yet somehow gojo is able to tell something is wrong and he is kind of proud of himself for that. yet the feeling of pride dims compared to the worry growing inside of him.

because you never tell him when something bothers you and he’s sure whatever is happening, he’s just not there to see it. you’re too embarrassed to say it to him since you don’t want him to worry, which sucks completely. it gets so bad, that satoru has to physically stop you from running away whenever he starts asking about what’s the matter, but you get overwhelmed easily and he lets go.

yet, this time he catches you right when you want to slip away; red eyes and shaking shoulders as you try to contain your sobs and run away from him so he doesn’t see, but he is quick to catch up to you in the empty hallway, caging you between his arms.

“let go, ‘toru—”

he gently tugs your hands away from your face, frowning at the dried tracks of tears on your cheeks , “no, tell me what’s wrong.”

“please, can’t we talk later?”

“no! stop running away from me!”

the way his voice cracks makes you shudder as you look up at him warily, finally realising that he’s hurt too. you stop resisting and hide yourself in his chest, sobbing violently while satoru holds you close silently. he moves around so he can slide down the wall and have you sit in his lap, arms only tightening around you.

“they…” you gaze at him through your wet eyelashes, voice a little shaky as your eyes bore into the worry splashing deeply in his, “they say mean things to me.”

“what kind of mean things?”

“all kinds of,” you mumble, eventually relaxing into his hold and letting him stroke your hair. “about my looks, my face, my stuff — just everything, y’know?”

he hums, hoping you’d continue.

“i know i should just ignore that, but then they start saying stuff about you and our relationship, and i can’t help but let it get to me? i know you love me, yet i… maybe they are right? maybe i am not good enough and you deserve more. prettier. funnier. smarter.”

you voice gets more and more quiet as you ramble about what’s been happening. and as you fiddle with your fingers, head hung low with staggered breathing, you’re unable to see how every single word you say nearly breaks satoru’s heart into a million of pieces.

“oh sweetheart.”

you look up at him, wiping the last of your tears. it seems like you’ve already come to terms with whatever the hell they were spewing at you and it makes satoru very angry. it has been going on for far too long, so long that it changed your brain chemistry and how you feel about yourself, and he hates it so so much.

“you are more than enough for me.”

you stare at him all wide eyed for a second before your face scrunches and you start crying once again, hot tears staining his hand as he wipes every single one of them. gojo cups your face gently and brings it closer to his so he can speak directly into your ear.

and he doesn’t spare any of his thoughts for you, letting you know that you’re everything he wants and he wouldn’t ask for anyone else; that you’re his favourite person in the whole world and he loves you very very much; that it hurts him that you’re hurting and are scared to tell because he’d do anything it takes to make you feel better. placing gentle kisses on your cheek since it’s so closer and he absolutely can’t resist you.

satoru doesn’t expect you to change your mind about everything in one day, but he’s ready to tell you those same words and more every single day if that’s what you need.

[jaylaxies]

HARD THOUGHT !

pairing: sunghoon x fem!reader

cw: smut, unprotected sex, usage of nicknames.

warning: 18+ content, minors dni

Best friend!Sunghoon had easily convinced you to move in with him. His reasoning sat well with you—low cost and splitting of the rent. As a university student, you would do anything to save up some extra cash and this deal was spot on as it saved you half the amount of your usual living expenses.

However, the provided reason wasn’t even close to what Sunghoon had actually wanted. He knew you had a crush on him, yet you never acted upon it due to your experiences regarding sex and love were limited, which made him want to ruin you beyond words. He was more on the possessive side of the spectrum, which was also laced with jealousy as he hated the idea of anyone else touching his little angel, his kitten.

So he took the matter in his own hands, pulling you even closer to him now that you shared an apartment with each other. He stared at you a little longer, walked around shirtless, his touch on your bare skin lingered for a second too long and you loved it. Your body always reacted to him in such a manner which made him lose his patience each fucking day, until he finally decided to cage you between him and the wall when you had freshly came out of the shower, clad in just your tiny towel.

“You like showing your pretty little body, don’t you, kitten?” He’d whisper in a deep tone, eyes dark as he stared right in your eyes. He could see you biting your lip, your thighs pressing close to each other as you tried to formulate a reply. “What are you talking about Hoonie—” you were shushed with his slender finger, which was now pressed against your lips. “I know you want me, baby. You just have to say it, yeah?” He assured you slow but serious.

You couldn’t wait any longer, not when you dreamed the filthiest of your fantasies with him, not when you touched yourself desperately hoping that it was him instead, even more so when he simply sat in the room next door. You nodded fervently, “want you so much, Hoonie,” you almost whimpered, feeling smaller than ever under his intense gaze.

“Oh baby, I’ll ruin your cunt and fuck you in every corner of this goddamn apartment,” he growled.

He was gentle with you for your very first time, he knew exactly how you’d like it, he was your best friend after all. But you didn’t bother thinking that he’d actually fuck you everywhere. It started from your bedroom, where he took care of your all night, trying his best not to go overboard with you. The next time, he took you to his bedroom. The task was simple, you’ll have to suck his dick and he’d make a mess on your pretty face.

It then progressed to you crying out his name in pleasure as he fucks you from behind on your couch which barely fit two people. He didn’t even leave the kitchen out of the deal as he fucked you on the marble counter, his cock hitting just the right spots as you dug your nails into his shoulders for support. Then he proceeded to take you to the bathroom, the reason was simple again—to save the water.

It didn’t matter if it was your study table or the wall next to the front door, it never mattered if you were on the carpet or his gaming chair, he had to fuck you. As for you, you loved every second of it, he made sure to get your wildest fantasies out of you, only to make them come true.

When you finally crawled up to him, giving him your sweetest smile as you asked him to fuck you, he knew he had won in life.

He had ruined you.

© jaylaxies | tumblr

[lovebugism]

oh my god absolutely feral for the cynical prompt list PLEASE!!! maybe like bad at feelings/grumpy!r x steve with these vibes?:

• "you.. LIKE ME???" "i'm a little wary but so far, yes."

• "you're my favorite person. i didn't know you could have those."

• i love the idea that although they're cynical they would simultaneously not care to admit it ^ like "okay, yeah, i fell in love. so what???? people fall in puddles, and pools, and you know, other things!!! don't hold this against me!"

or literally anything from that list like i just know you’d eat

hope you like it angel xoxo — you tell steve you love him for the first time in front of all your friends who didn't even know you were dating (grumpy!r, fluff, 1.3k)

Eddie drops off a few Hellfire stragglers at Family Video after a lengthy campaign, you among them. Robin watches you file in with a freckled chin nestled in her palm. “Stevie! Your children are here!” she singsongs in the otherwise empty store, flipping unenthusiastically through an old magazine.

Dustin and Lucas grumble under their breaths about being called children, though you think they’re still very much deserving of the term. Eddie, meanwhile, crosses his leather-clad arms over his chest. “You know I’m older than him, right?” he monotones with squinted eyes. “So that’s, like, scientifically impossible.”

You deadpan from beside him, somehow more stoic than the raucously dressed metalhead. “And also, I’m dating him,” you frown. “So that’d be, like, extra weird.”

Everyone looks at you like you’ve grown two heads, then. Like you’ve just said something awful. 

Steve’s presence saves you, but only for a moment. He comes out from the back wearing a stupid grin on his scruffy face. “Hey, babe,” he greets you first, with a wide hand spread warmly over your back. 

When he ducks down for a fleeting kiss, you can taste the Cheetos he’d been snacking on and the wintergreen gum he’d just plucked into his mouth. The concoction is strange. Maddening, still.

All of your friends leer at you for several long moments. They gape at the two of you in horror, as though there was some kind of truth in what Robin had just announced moments ago — as though you and Steve shouldn’t be kissing at all.

“Wait,” Lucas mumbles, filling the heavy silence. His face twists in confusion a second later. “What?”

Eddie’s pale face contorts in something short offense, like you’ve betrayed him somehow. You sort of did, in a way. You’re Hellfire’s prettiest, grumpiest, weirdest member — you’re not supposed to be dating Steve The Hair Harrington. It goes against, like, every unwritten rule in the handbook. 

“Is this why you wanted me to drop you off here?” he questions, palpably heartbroken. “So you two could— suck face?”

You shrug, emotionless. “Sorta.”

“We have a date tonight,” Steve announces with a proud smile. He squeezes gently at your shoulder, then cowers at the glare you give him. He clears his throat and corrects himself. “Not date.”

You’ve noticed his very strange tendency to call any time you spend together a date. You don’t like that. It makes you feel it’s some kind of appointment you have to book with him — an engagement you have to put too much effort into. Sometimes, you don’t want to go on a date. You just want to sleep over at his place, steal one of his shirts, and raid his kitchen in your underwear. 

Eddie does everything but pout. “But I thought… I thought we came here to bother Steve until he let us take something home for free?” he confesses in a quiet voice.

“We can still do that if you want.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” he frowns.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Robin shouts, abandoning her magazine and waving her hands in front of her face. “How did I not know about this?”

Steve bounces his shoulder, jostling the nametag pinned to his chest. “You don’t know everything about me, Buckley,” he sasses.

“So… you like him?” she presses, pointing to you and then the boy beside you. “You like Steve? Steve Harrington?”

You swallow hard and hope you don’t look as anxious as you feel. You shrug to feign an air of nonchalance. “I’m still a little wary about it, but, yeah… So far, anyway.”

Dustin’s senses return to him, then. He shakes his curly head in disbelief. “That is just… confounding,” he mumbles to himself.

“And how long has this been going on, exactly?” Robin squints.

“Couple months, I guess,” you monotone.

Steve has a much different, much more enthusiastic answer. 

“Well, if we’re going by the first time I knew she liked me, it’s been five months. But if we’re going by the first time we kissed, it’s been four,” he rambles with his honey eyes flitted to the ceiling. “But if we’re going by the first time she actually admitted she liked me, it’s been… A wonderful six days.”

He flashes you a grin, which you meet with a hardened scowl. “Shut up…” you grumble, but don’t push him away when he cuddles you closer to his side.

“You? And Steve Harrington?” Eddie gapes. “You’re kissing?”

Steve scoffs. “Well, we’re dating Munson. So obviously we’re kissing. Among other things…”

You dig an elbow into his ribs to shove him away. “Do you have a death wish?” you spit, eyes narrowed and bitter, while the boy just chuckles to himself.

“It’s just… weird,” Dustin remarks.

“But, like, a good weird,” Lucas nods. “Like a solar eclipse, sort of weird.”

“Or, like, that one in a billion chance of atoms aligning and your hand going directly through a solid object, sort of weird,” the curly-haired boy adds, punctuating his sentence by slapping the front counter. His palm collides with the hard surface with a resounding thud.

“What did you think was gonna happen?” Steve monotones when Dustin winces.

“Well, impossible things happen all the time, Steve. Including now.”

You start to choke on the attention. The stares are borderline suffocating. A bunch of wide-eyed gazes holding yours until you feel like you can hardly breathe. 

“What’s the big deal?” you blurt before you mean to. “We fell in love. Who cares? Dustin fell into a puddle earlier today— how’s that any different? People fall all the time.”

Dustin’s eyes narrow. “I thought we agreed not to bring that up.”

“Wait…” Steve mumbles, pink lips quirked in a crooked smile. His chocolate gaze glimmers with hope and confusion, eyes darting back and forth between yours. “You’re… You’re in love with me?”

“Yeah?” you shrug, trying not to cower at the way he looks at you. “So what?”

His grin widens. It takes everything in him not to kiss the life out of you then. He settles for a warm squeeze at your shoulder for now. “Nothing. Nothing, I just— I love you back. That’s all.”

The honeyed moment is ended bitterly by the sound of Eddie’s fake gagging. Robin gripes beneath the horrid noise, “You guys are gross…”

Lucas smiles. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Only ‘cause you’re more lovesick than these two idiots,” Eddie scoffs. He saunters away from you and takes the two Hellfire boys by the shoulder, leading them inevitably to the Sci-Fi section. Robin has no choice but to fix her frowning face and smile when a customer walks in.

With the crowd freshly dispersed, and the attention no longer on the two of you, you look up at Steve with a softer look than you’re used to. “Why did you look so shocked?” you murmur, eyes all squishy around the edges. “When I told you that I— that I loved you or whatever.”

“I wasn’t shocked,” Steve laughs and turns to face you fully. “I just… wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

You squint. “So you were shocked?”

“…I guess so. Yeah.”

“Well— you’re like— my favorite person or whatever,” you stumble over your words, finding it suddenly very difficult to meet his gaze. You gesture wildly with anxious hands. “And I didn’t even know you could have one of those, so… By that logic, I figured I must be in love with you.”

Steve grins, maybe bigger than he realizes. It’s all plush and pink and petaled, dripping with an adoration you’re not sure you deserve. “Well, by that logic, I must be in love with you, too, then, huh?”

“Guess so…” you grumble under your breath.

Steve smiles at the distant look of disgust scrunching your pretty face. “You’re so cute…” he mumbles under his breath, pressing a kiss to your pout before you can blink.

[collapsedglasshouses]

HOTEL NEIGHBORS || Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader

PHOTO CREDIT: Bryan Kirks

SUMMARY: After you hear Noah talk about liking experienced women, you can't help but feel insecure about yourself. Noah wants nothing but to lift your spirits.

WARNINGS: SMUT, MDNI, friends to lovers, inexperienced reader, slight ? dom!noah i guess, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected p in v (dont do that), slight mutual pining?, not edited oopsie, ...

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6

A/N: This idea planted itself in my head last night and I don't even know what to say anymore. I’m more than stressed because of university, but I hope my creative spark is coming back rather sooner than later. Is anyone actually reading what I say here. If you're reading this say hi in the comments, ily. Please, enjoy and consider reblogging if you liked it.

You didn’t exactly know you had gotten into this situation but at this exact moment you were shifting in your place and wanted nothing more but to vanish into thin air.

You were currently sitting in a hotel lobby, exhausted and tired from the show the boys had played, and waited for Matt to hand you the keys to your hotel rooms. Somehow in the course of the last ten minutes, the conversation between the guys had turned. They were talking about previous relationships and the experience it came with since Folio had been freshly separated from his ex-girlfriend.

“I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I just want someone with more experience, you know? I’m not saying I wouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t have much experience but I just-… I don’t know. You know what I mean, Noah?” Folio rambled and looked at the man next to you in hopes to find confirmation.

“Yeah, I know. I prefer women with experience, too. I guess.” Noah just mindlessly mumbled while looking at his phone.

You knew for sure the boys didn’t say this in an ill intend but somehow this exchange began to bother you more than you wanted it to. In all honesty, it felt like a punch straight to your face. You felt stupid that this simple exclaim from Noah got to you, but you couldn’t really help it. It wasn’t like you never had sex. You had a boyfriend that you dated from high school to about two years ago, but when it came to your sex life it felt like you never really experienced anything. You knew almost everything that only concerned you, but when it came to another person being involved, your knowledge stopped. You knew what you liked and what you disliked. But that didn’t make the conversation you just witnessed any less hurtful.

You swallowed hard before standing up from your waiting seat in a rather fast manner.

“Imma head to the bathroom.” You mumbled so quietly you feared nobody would have heard you, before walking away. You didn’t see how Noah looked after you with a confused facial expression.

You slammed the door shut behind you and stared at your reflection in the fancy bathroom mirror. Your eyes were watery and you hated yourself for that. Especially Noah’s sentence echoed in your head and you hated that you had a weak spot for him. You hated that you got along with him too well for your liking. When the band hired you as an assistant for Matt about a year ago, you hadn’t planned that all of this would happen. You thought you were there for only one tour and now you were already on your third with the band. To your astonishment, you got along wonderfully with everyone, but you and Noah had a special bond. You didn’t know what it was exactly but somehow you repeatedly found yourself in deep conversations about literally everything with him. It took you well over six months to realize that you didn’t just simply like him as a friend, but you were starting to fall for him.

Right now, you hated yourself that you never got brave enough to admit it to him. You always acted like nothing had changed and you felt embarrassed about the fact that a small sentence like that could throw you off so bad when you didn’t have the right to act like that about it.

A couple of minutes passed before you had enough courage to head back to the boys. So, you took a deep breath and wiped away the single tear that had managed to escape, before stepping out of the bathroom again. Gladly, you didn’t have to justify your sudden move as Matt approached the group at the same time as you to hand you the keys.

“Finally, I thought we needed to sleep in the lobby.” You managed to say with a lopsided smile while Matt handed you your key.

While your group headed in the elevator, you took up a small conversation with Matt about things that had happened at tonight’s show, before he headed out together with the others. The only two left in the elevator being, of course, you and Noah.

“Looks like we’re neighbors tonight.” He answered you with a sweet smile after looking at your key for a second.

“Cool.” You tried to exclaim as friendly as possible and cringed for your second. Even the most unempathetic person on this planet would have realized that something was going on with you, but you were glad Noah decided to not talk about it as you walked to your rooms.

A couple of hours later, you were finished with your evening and ready to go to sleep but before you could slip under the blankets, you heard a slight knock on your door. For a second, you considered to just ignore it but when it knocked again, you sighed and opened the door just enough to look who was disturbing your peace at these ungodly times.

You were greeted by Noah with a worried expression on his face. For a second, you just looked at him confused, but he was fast to explain, while you opened the door a little more.

“Tell me what I did. You’ve been ignoring literally all my texts for more than three hours at this point.” He exclaimed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Of course, he was right about his statement. You had seen his texts. Normally, you’d test about the concert or some random stuff until you were both to sleepy to respond, but you had decided you couldn’t deal with him this evening. Not after you got so emotional because of a stupid sentence.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” You lied and mirrored his gesture.

He lifted his eyebrow, and you already know he wouldn’t let you out of that conversation until you gave him the answers he wanted. “Gaslight someone else, sweetheart.” He grumbled.

You sighed and looked at your hands. “It’s nothing, Noah.”

“Oh, come on. You know nothing you is unimportant.” He encouraged you.

It felt stupid. Stupid how easy it was to open up to him, but you knew you couldn’t just tell him what’s been on your mind, so you simply shook your head. You were about to close the door, when he reached into the doorframe and pressed himself in your room while you protested.

“Y/n. Seriously, what’s going on?” He muttered in a soft tone while sitting down on your bed. He patted the place next to him. When you sat down, he turned to fully face you and touched your shoulder. “Please talk to me.”

“I really can’t, Noah.” You whispered. “It’s so fucking stupid.”

You felt so dumb, you wanted to slap yourself. You didn’t want this to go bad. You hated your feelings for choosing him. For opening up to him. For becoming so close with him. You remembered how you had joked with Matt about how everyone would eventually fall for THE lead singer and how you said Noah is just a really good friend and now look at you. Unable to even look him straight in the face.

“Did I say something?” Noah wanted to know, and you briefly looked at him. You couldn’t hold his gaze any longer in fear you would crack. You looked at his shirt to calm your thoughts but that was when you noticed his neckline and your thoughts instantly began to wander.

“You never not tell me anything.” Noah urged.

“Why are you so desperate?” You asked him in slight annoyance and swept his hand of your shoulder.

He blinked surprised for a couple of seconds before answering you. “Because you can’t even look at me and I don’t like that.”

Your heart jumped with happiness when you heard that confession, even if it was innocent.

“That’s not true.” – “Then look at me.”

You sighed before forcing your eyes onto his for a second just to look away again.

“See?” He mumbled, defeated. “I’m sorry if I said something that upset you. I didn’t mean it.”

“So, you didn’t mean you liked girls with experience better than others?” You spat out before you could even think about it more and instantly regretted it.

Noah opened and closed his mouth in confusion. He knew about your previous experiences or lack of experience.

“See that’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. It is dumb.” You tried to brush off what had just happened, but Noah shook his head.

“No, no, no. It’s not dumb. I didn’t mean it like that, I-…” He began to explain but you just sighed and rolled your eyes.

“Just stop, Noah.” You mumbled and laid down on your bed. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is another stressful day.”

“N-no… I really didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t even paying attention to Folio. I-… I don’t care about experience, Y/N. I consider myself lucky if anyone gets close to me at the moment. I’m a stressed mess, you know.” Noah rambled out and you noticed that he was nervous. You couldn’t really think about why.

“Oh c’mon. Everyone would consider themselves lucky to sleep with you, Noah. And you fucking know that.” You joked halfheartedly, but then a smile crept onto his face.

“You too?” He asked with a broad smirk on his face.

“Huh?” You huffed as your eyes grew wide.

“I mean… I know you are worried about not having too much experience… I just-…” He swallowed hard. “I could… help with that.”

“You wanna have sex with me?” You bluntly asked your friend and felt your heart almost exploding in your chest.

“I-… You know, we-… I-…” He began to stutter for a second but then he saw how nervous you looked and stopped in his tracks. “So, you wanna have sex with me.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you swallowed hard. “Uh… I…”

“Forget it, you don’t have to answer th-…” – “Actually, I do.”

Your voice was not more than a whisper while your thoughts were racing. You just blankly confessed that to him, because you were tired. Tired of holding back.

“You are joking, right?” Noah mumbled; his mouth slightly open.

“Oh, come on. As if this comes as a surprise. There are literally people writing fanfiction about you.” You said and ran a hand through your hair in frustration.

“And you know that why?” He exclaimed and smiled lopsidedly.

Your eyebrows rose for a second when you realized what you had said.

When you didn’t answer, he spoke again. “So, you wanna have sex with me?”

“Trust me, with each word coming out of your mouth, the urge is getting less and less.” You answered him and rolled your eyes. His smile faded slightly, and he looked you deep in the eyes.

“Would you feel better if I told you I’ve thought about it, too?” He exclaimed and the tone of his voice shot straight to your core. This didn’t feel real.

“Yeah… Yeah that would help.” You mumbled and swallowed hard, not knowing how to proceed.

A second later, Noah was hovering over your, his face only a couple of inches away from you and you felt how the atmosphere in the room changed.

“You really wanna do this?” He asked you as your hands travelled to the hem of your shirt. You nodded.

“Tell me, you want this.” He almost pleaded with you.

“I want you to fuck me, Noah. For god sake, should I write it down for you?” You whisper-shouted against his lips and with that he giggled quietly before kissing your lips with such force that you realized he wasn’t joking. You grabbed his face and pulled him even closer to you. It felt like you two grasped onto everything. It felt like you were each other’s last meal. Like you were starved for so long, you couldn’t control it anymore.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him down towards your core that was only clothed in your underwear, and you could feel how hard he was. You couldn’t help but grind against him. He slightly moaned into your mouth as your tongues danced with each other and you moved your hips again.

“Stop that.” He suddenly groaned against your mouth, and you began to grin. “What if I don’t?”

“Then I’m not going to go easy on you, sweetheart.” He warned you. It didn’t take a second for you to grind against him one more time, while smiling proudly about what a hard time he had with you.

“You’re going to regret that.” He mumbled and grabbed your hips with his hand firmly. This alone almost made you cum. It felt like something in him snapped. His pupils were blown wide with lust and then he was underdressing you. It was like he was ripping you out of your clothes.

When he reached your underwear, he stopped for a second and looked at you for reassurance. It was the last chance for you to tell him, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want him to stop.

“I trust you.” You breathed out and bucked your hips for a second.

“You don’t even know how long I’ve been waiting for his, Y/n.” He answered you as he slowly slipped down your underwear. He didn’t waste any time after that and only a few kisses later to your stomach, you felt how his tongue moved through your folds. A soft moan escaped your mouth and you arched your hips to possibly get any closer to him.

Your hands found their way in your hair. It wasn’t the first time someone went down on you, but never before had it felt so intense to you.

He pinned your hips down to the bed with one arm and his tongue was devouring you like it was the last thing he would do. The sounds you were making only made him go harder. Then you felt how he added a finger inside of you, quickly followed by another.

“Oh my-… Fuck, Noah.” You gasped and you felt the vibrations of his laugh against your core. You felt a knot building inside of you and you tried to concentrate on anything that would help you not to come instantly.

“I can feel that you’re close.” He mumbled against you and flicked his tongue over your clit while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

You nodded, unable to form clear words without moaning them.

“I know, you can go longer than that, Y/n.” He hummed against you, and you felt like you were going insane.

“God, please.” You cried out, fearing you couldn’t hold it any longer.

His mouth and fingers felt so good, you were sure you couldn’t help yourself much longer. You felt your orgasm built up and then-… He stopped. He pulled away from you, his fingers out of your pussy and you whined at the loss of contact.

He grabbed your face with the hand that had been inside of you just seconds before and looked you in the eyes. “When you come tonight, it’s gonna be on my cock.”

“You know, it’s kind of unfair that I’m laying here completely naked while you’re fully clothed.” You breathed out with a small smile on your face.

“Oh, yeah?” He laughed against your lips before climbing of the bed to get out of his clothes. His eyes never left yours and yours never left his.

He was in nothing but his underwear, his cock hard underneath them and you bit your lip as his hands hooked under the waistband and he slowly slit them off. Your eyes slowly widened at the sight of his member, and you suddenly realized that all of this was real. He looked so perfect. All of him.

“You still okay?” He asked as he crawled back to you.

“Yes.” You breathed out when he was on top of you again. He leaned down to kiss you. You could feel him against your core, his cock moving between your folds as if he belonged there.

“Noah, please.” You moaned out and let your hands roam over his back.

“Yes?” He teased you and rocked his hips once more.

“Don’t be such a tease.” You whined and dragged your fingernails over his back. He let out a soft moan.

“Tell me what you want, Y/n.” Noah exclaimed, and you whined, before rolling your eyes.

“Do that again and I’ll make you regret it.” He breathed out.

“Oh, I’m so scared.” You answered him in a mocking tone and he instantly gave his words truth.

For the second time something snapped inside of him. You let out a small yelp as he flipped you over in a swift motion, your chest hitting the mattress. He grabbed your hips with such force, you were sure he would leave bruises.

“You still wanna continue to be a brat?” He asked you in an almost dangerous tone and you shook your head.

“Fuck, you’re dripping.” He almost moaned and you felt this cock against your ass. He positioned himself behind you, his tip teasing your entrance. His hands wandered over your hips softly and you felt a kiss against your neck. “We can stop anytime.”

“Please, don’t stop.” You breathed out. After that he slowly slid into you, your mouth open in a silent moan as he bottomed out.

“Is that alright?” He asked with a soft tone as you tried to get used to the feeling of him inside of you.

“Yes, everything is perfect.” You moaned out.

When he started to move, you thought you were going to die. In a good way. In a way that made you decide right there and then that when your time has come, this was how you wanted it to end.

“Oh, my f-… Noah.” You whispered out and gripped the sheets beneath you.

His right hand slowly reached to the front of your body and found your clit. He swiftly circled it while rocking into you.

His head was buried in your neck and the room was filled with moans and pants and curse words that were almost illegal to speak out.

“Shit, Y/N.” He whined into your neck. “You feel so good.” His thrust became faster and you were almost certain the bed was going to break if he kept that pace. But you were too far gone to care. You felt that knot in your stomach again and you knew this time you couldn’t contain yourself.

“Come on. Come for me, sweetheart.” He whispered against the back of your head, and you screamed. You screamed load enough that you were sure Jolly in the room underneath to you would hear.

He fucked you through it, his pace only slowing down moments later, right before he pulled out and you felt hot liquid painting your back.

You let yourself fall onto the pillow and he soon collapsed next to you. You turned to face him and could help but smile at him. He reached out to brush a strand of hair out of your face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m in desperate need of a shower and I don’t even wanna talk about the lack of sleep we’ll have tomorrow.” You answered him and giggle for a second that caused him to smile.

“It was worth it.” He mumbled before leaning in again.

“Yes… yes it was.” Your lips met in a soft kiss and for a second everything inside of you began to tingle. You knew this was a new chapter for the both of you and that this was only the beginning.

“Let’s shower.” He mumbled before getting up and reaching out to help you up. He slung his arms around you for a second. “Maybe you can tell me about those fanfictions while showering.”

Your eyes widened for a second, before you made your way to the bathroom, followed by a laughing Noah.

“I’ll keep that to myself.” You answered him, before closing the bathroom door behind the two of you.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[aaronsinferno]

After waking up one morning and catching Tommy getting dressed to head into work, Buck just watches him, savoring his looks, the smell of him on his sheets, and the Tommy-shaped hole in his bed. Even the long and deep kiss goodbye Tommy gives Buck before dashing out of his bedroom and out the front door.

He could get used to that—to Tommy being there. Not just overnight, but anytime. That’s how comfortable he was. That’s how much he trusted him. Seeing Tommy there in the comfort of his home felt right to Buck.

So, one night, after a date, when Tommy pulls up in front of Bucks place, Buck tells him that he wants to give him something. He reaches his hand in his pocket, pulls it out, places Tommy’s hand in his and when he lets go, there it is.

A Key.

"I like you," Buck began anxiously. "I really like you, and I like when you’re around. Maybe I’m being impulsive, and maybe it’s too soon. Who knows? I’m just going off what I’ve been feeling lately, and what I feel is that the thought of me coming home with the possibility of you already being there or me passing by you on my way to the bedroom while you’re headed to the kitchen... it doesn’t bother me. Especially after a long shift or just a hard day in general. Tommy, being with you—hell, being around you—makes things… I don’t know. You’re really comforting, is what I’m trying to say, I think. And now I feel like I’m rambling. Anyways, I trust you, so this is yours… if you want it."

Tommy watches Buck with a soft expression, taking in his words one moment at a time. Buck watches him as well, searching his face for a hint of something—anything—that would tell him how he felt. Tommy looks at the key for a few moments more before leaning over and pulling Buck into a deep kiss.

[3xiles]

Sweet lies part two

Pairing •Toji x gn!reader

Warnings• Angst!, Cheating, suggestive (they like lowkey make out), manipulation, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!, Cursing. Lmk if i forgot any!

Word count • 1079 words

A/n • I had this pre written ever since i put out the first part but was so hesitant on posting it LMAO! Enjoy! Masterlist is pinned!

You knew life after the honeymoon phase was rough but nothing could’ve prepared you for the drastic switch in you and Toji’s relationship. About two months the after you guys got married is when you realized the mistake you made. Your days went from him coming home from work and showering you with affection to him coming in with an inaudible hello. You were confused on what you could be doing wrong. He was coming home to a clean house with food on the table, a bath prepared and you all dolled up for him, just how he liked it. This went on for months and throughout those months he’s just been coming home later and later. The man who was once coming home every day at five now walking through the front door as late as ten at night. It didn’t bother you until your 26th birthday.

You woke up excited to celebrate your first birthday as a married woman. For your birthday last year Toji went all out so you couldn’t help but let your expectations be high! Toji wasn’t there when you woke up, which was normal because he usually leaves extremely early in the morning. You spent your day pampering yourself to the max, expecting to maybe go out later. Soon enough five o clock rolls around. You sit pretty and patient on the couch, telling yourself he’s just running a little late. You wait… and you wait.. sending text after text to your husband every hour.

Hubby💍❤️

5:30pm

Y/n: Hey babe coming home soon?

6:15

Y/n: Toj idk what you have planned but i’m super excited! see you soon❤️

7:23

Y/n: Hey is everything okay??

8:54

Y/n: Hello?

9:46

Y/n: Toji it’s almost 10 where are you?

10:27

Y/n: Toji?

You send your last text with tears falling from your eyes. You hate to think he forgot your birthday. It can’t be. He just got caught up in something. It has to be. You check the time one last time. 11:03. You then tell yourself you need to go to bed. As you stand up from the couch the door opens and the man you’ve been waiting for finally shows. You do nothing but stare at him, tears mixed with mascara running down your puffy cheeks. “The hell happened to you?” he says, taking off his shoes, tie, and blazer. He begins to unbutton his shirt, purple marks adorning his chest. That was in that moment when something in you just… snapped.

“Toji, what is today?” you slowly walk towards him. He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. “Look doll, i’m beat. Can we talk tomorrow?” he begins to walk towards the stairs that lead to your shared bedroom “No. Absolutely the fuck not.” oh crap. did you just say that? he stops in his tracks and turns to you. “Excuse me?” Shitshitshitshitshit what do you say? why did u say that? “Toji i asked you a question. What. Is. Today.” you keep up the tough girl act, too deep to back out now. “Y/n.” he walks closer to you but you back away “Toji today is my fucking birthday. Today is my birthday and i’ve been home all day thinking my ‘husband’ was going to at least come home on time but you were out fucking some bitch!” You begin to yell, crying harder than you were before. “The fuck are you talking about?” You weren’t stupid, you knew he was cheating but who were you to say anything. You were nothing without him. You didn’t want to ruin things. You can’t lose him. “Toji, i know you’re seeing someone else but i at least thought you would have some type of respect or decency to not do this to me on my fucking birthday.”You’re falling apart in front of him.

The silence is strong. He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. “Things just haven’t been right with me, i don’t know why i do the things i do. You know how much you mean to me baby, i never want to hurt you.” i never want to hurt you. Those words replay in your mind. He brings his hands to hold your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “You know I love you and only you, right?” you wanted to yell at him. You wanted to kick and scream but something in you made you believe every word he was saying. Instead of doing any of those things you just nodded. Shame rose in you but it all started to fade away when his lips connect with yours. You know this isn’t right, this isn’t healthy but that doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck and letting his hands wander. “I’m so sorry baby.” his lips travel to your neck. You try to hold back sounds but he knows just what to do to get it out if you. “Gonna let me show my girl how sorry i am?” you just started at him. not wanting to say yes but you didn’t want to disappoint him by saying no either.

You have to draw a line somewhere. “I think i just wanna go to sleep…” Removing your hands from him and stepping back. His looks confused but he doesn’t press further. Is it bad that part of you wishes he did? You wished he would’ve showed some kind of kind want, not just wanting to fuck out of pity. You know why he didn’t tho, he already got his fix of pussy for the night and it didn’t come from you. What a shame.

That night you couldn’t sleep, you were up all night silently crying. Is this really what your life was? You had lost yourself in this relationship. Your 26th birthday was a wake up call. The next few days were rough, he was just coming home later and later. Not to mention he wasn’t even trying to hide his affairs, He started to be careless. Not bothering to cover the scratches or hickeys that covered his body, leaving his phone open when you could see messages from the multiple girls and having panties and various other items in his car that didn’t belong to you. It’s like he was trying to hurt you, but isn’t that what he said he never wanted to do?

[muwapsturniolo]

✯𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠✯

SON OF HADES!CHRIS X BLACK DAUGHTER OF HECATE!READER

IN WHICH…The son of Hades finally talks to his crush after months of longing

WARNINGS: no smut!!! just cute fluff! awkward/loner chris, also mentions of stalking.

triplets as sons of gods x goddess

Chris had a problem.

Well, multiple problems actually but the main one was that he liked a girl.

He liked a girl, and he didn't know how to navigate those feelings.

Chris didn't show or talk about his feelings much. He tended to bottle them up, only spilling them on the pages of his trusted journal. However, that wasn't working this time around. Occasionally he would tell his best friend Matt, but the boy was either too drunk or high to listen fully or even comment on them, so he wasn't any help either.

He didn't know what to do. He's never had a crush before and he felt like he was going crazy. He so badly wanted to talk to her, but he was scared.

Scared of her and the possibilities that were yet to come.

What if she called him a freak? What if she laughs in his face? What if she didn't feel the same?

He couldn't fathom the idea of any of that happening.

So, with the pressure of having a crush and his two coping mechanisms not working, he took matters into his own hands.

He decided to stalk her.

You heard that right, stalking.

Although he would prefer to call it admiring from afar, Percy had slapped him against the head and told him it was stalking, so he's admitting to that.

Stalking the daughter of Hecate.

He knows it's weird and it's not helping better his reputation by any means, but he couldn't help it.

She was an enigma in his eyes, a force to be reckoned with. Which is why he resulted in literally hiding in the shadows and watching her.

It was easier this way, he wouldn't have to face confrontation, and he got to see her in her element. He got to see how she spent her time, her favorite activities, he got to know her.

His favorite thing to watch her do was cast spells in the woods. There was something about watching her hair fly into the air from the static, and her eyes glow that striking shade of violet that captivated him.

“I know you’re here.”

Y/n wasn’t stupid, if anything she was brilliant. She knew someone had been following her for about a month now, the air around her feeling and smelling different.

She just couldn’t figure out who it was, or why they were following her. She let them have their fun for a bit, but she couldn't concentrate hearing their heartbeat speed up every time she cast a spell.

“You can come out now, I don’t exactly like being stalked and bothered."

Chris stands in the shadows frozen, not knowing what to do. He had been caught and now she wants him to reveal himself. Before he could debate on running away, he was pushed forward, his body now becoming visible.

Y/n was shocked to see the son of Hades in front of her. She's noticed him around the camp, paying attention to him at the parties. Unknown to Chris, she started developing some type of feeling for him herself.

"Chris? Why are you watching me?"

He awkwardly looks around, rubbing the back of his neck and shoving one of his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

"I-I wasn't watching you... I just- Just stalking?" Chris blushes in embarrassment and looks down, "Yeah...stalking."

Y/n couldn't help but find his awkwardness cute, enjoying the way his pale cheeks flushed red. "Hmm, well you could have just talked to me instead of watching me for months."

Chris says nothing, keeping his eyes on the ground and his mouth shut, afraid he will say something stupid.

"Well, are you going to go back to the shadows, or are you going to sit and talk to me?" Chris's heart skips a beat as he snaps his head up.

To say he was confused would be an understatement.

He didn't understand why she was being nice and offering him company when he was just caught stalking her.

"You want to talk to me?" Chris points to himself, double-checking her words.

"Who else would I be talking to? Unless you roped in some friends to stalk me."

He laughs awkwardly and mumbles a soft "No".

"Then come on, let's sit and get to know each other."

The two demigods, sit on an abandoned bench in the woods of the camp and converse. They talk for hours about any and everything, getting to know each other better.

Chris is shocked at how easy it is to talk to the girl. She was easygoing, constantly cracking jokes and laughing. Some of her words were sassy, but he knew she didn't maliciously mean them.

"Can I be honest?" Chris asks, turning his head to her. Y/n nods and turns her body towards his.

"I was really scared to talk to you...."

Y/n smiles in confusion, "scared? Why were you scared to talk to me?"

Chris laughs nervously and messes with the sleeves of his sweater, "I don't know you're just... Nerve-wracking?" Y/n scoffs at his words and points to herself, "Nerve-wracking? How?!"

"I don't know! like I know I shouldn't judge you based on your clothes and who your mom is, because I know what that feels like and it's hurtful sometimes, but you just give off this powerful energy and you're pretty and- You think I'm pretty?" Chris freaks out internally once it registers in his head, but he calms down seeing the hopeful look on Y/n's face.

He decided to finally confront his feelings towards the girl...Sort of.

"Yeah...I do. I-is that ok?"

Little did Chris know, Y/n was screaming on the inside, giddy at the fact a boy she found attractive also found her attractive.

"More than ok....I find you cute too." Her words are soft, showing her nervousness.

The two teens look away from each other, smiling to themselves.

Feeling bold herself, Y/n inches her hand towards Chris's, slowly taking his in hers.

Chris looks down at their intertwined hands, a warm feeling spreading through his body.

His eyes meet Y/n's and the two just smile in contentment.

They were a flame in the making.

IT'S FINALLY DONE OMG!!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK!!! FEEL FREE TO REQUEST MORE OF THE TRIPLETS IN THE PERCY JACKSON UNIVERSE.

TAGLIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @j3tblackt3ars @ilovestarz @lustfulslxt @soimightlikeoldmen69 @tastesousweet @slut4sebastiansallow @whicked-hazlatwhore @stasiesturn @loljackwasfat @nicksmainbitch @ninacutebee16 @mayhem-72 @sturniolosmind @breeloveschris @mattslolita @mattsivy @guccifrog @hysteria-things @mrssturnioloo @koris_009 @patscorner @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @nickuniversity @luverboychris @thenickgirl @riasturns @imwetforyourmom @junnniiieee07 @realuvrrr @milasturniolo @fwskullz @hearts4tatemcrae @mattandchrismakemewett @chrissystur @canthelpit0 @strnilo @demistyles @junovrsmp4 @heartsforchrisandmatt @maryx2xx @vecnasnose0 @freshsturns @xxsturnxx @pettydollie @crimsoncorpse @sturnssmuts @sturniolovoid @m0r94n @freshsturns @adoreindie @sturnstvr

[literary-motif]

Hiiiii love your work I was wondering if you could write an Isaac sicfic where pickle is under the weather it’s okay if that bit up your alley still love your work ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Take Care

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

You sneezed again, holding on to the bookcase as you nearly fell down the ladder. Isaac was not joking when he said your first week would be the hardest. There was dust everywhere, being a while since he had bothered cleaning the less eye-catching places, such as the top shelves. 

“You’re not sick already, are you?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe to watch you work. He took another sip of his coffee — his third today at least — and narrowed his eyes at you. 

“It’s the dust,” you lied. 

Truthfully, you had been fine when you woke up this morning. You shot up in bed well before sunrise, drenched in sweat from your nightmare, and decided to make the most of the extra time as you felt it impossible to fall back asleep. 

The eerie peacefulness before dawn, when you knew the world was still asleep and time seemed to tick by very slowly, immediately put you at ease, allowing you to wake up properly as you sipped on your tea with honey and tried to get rid of the itch in your throat. Thinking up a list of tasks for today, you decided that you had put off dusting long enough. 

As noon passed and the sun took its course in the sky, the tell-tale signs of a cold had hit you like a bus. It started with a headache, which was more annoying than anything else as you worked. Then, the pain in your throat had worsened, causing you to cough and disrupt the dust you were trying to wipe away. The house had grown cold, and your energy had steadily depleted until you felt utterly terrible.

Asking Isaac for a day off was out of the question. 

You had just started working for him and the embarrassment of telling him you were sick and needed time off already, when he had told you before that you should look after yourself to ensure that would not happen, was simply too much for you. 

No, you were stubborn. You would tough this out, hiding your feverish shivers and hacking coughs from him to make sure he was not disappointed already — to make sure he didn’t reevaluate the idea of taking you in and giving you the most stable life you had ever had because he saw you as an inconvenience after all. Most of all, you did not want to be a burden to him, and if working through a fever and the spinning in your head as you dusted the bookshelf was what it took, then so be it. 

“Are you sick?” Isaac asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He set his cup down on the coffee table, plucking the cloth from your hands a moment later and resting his cold hand against your forehead. You suppressed a sigh at the feeling, the coldness soothing you immediately. “You’re burning up,” he sighed. 

“I’m fine,” you said, reaching for the cloth. He held it out of reach for you. “I can work. I’m fine. This is nothing, I’ve had worse.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There is no reason for you to clean when you are not well. I want you to be healthy when you work for me, so go to bed and rest. The dust won’t go anywhere.”

“But—” you tried to argue, only to be cut off by a coughing fit. Your eyes watered at the dryness of your throat. You turned away from him, wiping away the tears escaping your eyes without permission.

Isaac put a hand on your arm, fighting against his instinct to draw back as he felt you tense. “Here,” he said instead, handing you a glass of water. 

You could only nod in thanks, downing it in the hopes that it would soothe the scratching feeling in your throat. “Thanks,” you croaked after the coughing had subsided, silently cursing fate for having him here to witness it. “I’m—”

“I said I don’t care,” he interrupted you, taking the glass and looking at you sternly, leaving no room for disobedience. “I don’t care if you think you’re fine. I will not have you working if you’re sick, so go to bed and rest. I don’t want to see you running around again today.”

You hung your head. “Alright,” you said defeated, reaching for the cleaning supplies only for Isaac to take hold of your wrist.

“I will take care of it,” he said, “go.”

His tone sounded so harsh and dismissive. You tried to shake the feeling of being a complete failure as you walked up the stairs, convinced that this was it and you would be fired in the morning. Why he had taken a chance on you was beyond the reasonable anyway. It must have been a lapse of judgment, and Isaac would surely realize this now. 

You got into bed, throwing on one of the comfortable sweaters he had bought you and resting against the soft pillows. Nothing distracted you from your feverish thoughts now, so you stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to wash over you. 

This would be the last time you got to sleep in this bed, the last time you could curl up under the comforter as you nuzzled your face into the pillows. You sighed, closing your eyes. You could pretend the silent tears running down your face were from the fever. 

“Pickle?” You sat up with a start, shaking off the hand on your shoulder immediately as you looked at the figure leaning over you with wide eyes. “Sorry,” Isaac said, raising his hands placatingly, showing you he was not a threat. “How are you feeling?”

You laid back, exhaling deeply as your heartbeat calmed. “Fine,” you said, grimacing at his disapproving look. “Better, I mean. A little better.”

“Can you sit up?” he asked, tucking an extra pillow behind your back, assuring you were comfortable as you leaned against the headboard. “Here,” he said, placing a tray on your lap, “I made you Okayu.”

Your gaze flickered between him and the rice porridge. “You didn’t have to,” you said confused, taking the cup of green tea he pressed into your hand and sipping on it as he looked at you expectantly. “Did you add ginger?”

“I did,” Isaac said, giving you a small smile as he placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. “She— This is what my mother used to make when I got sick.”

You handed the cup back to him, and Isaac placed it on your bedside table, waiting for you to eat. “I’m sorry,” you said, looking down at the rice, “I didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”

Isaac scoffed. “It’s not your fault you’re sick,” he said, cocking his head to the side as he sighed. “It just happens sometimes. It’s natural.”

“Yeah, still,” you said, slowly digging into the rice, “I wanted to get the broad cleaning done this week and now I can’t. I mean, I could if you’d let me. It’s just a cold, after all.”

He rolled his eyes at your insistence. “You have a fever. You’re not doing anything, “he said, narrowing his eyes at the downturn of your lips. “We’ll see how you feel tomorrow.” You hummed in agreement. “Regardless, you’ll have plenty of time to clean. There’s no need to rush. I’ll be needing you for a long while still, I suppose.”

“Promise?” you said, only half teasing as you finished your rice. You could not tell how he figured out what bothered you, but you were grateful for his perceptiveness. Perhaps it was a coincidence, but his reassurance was sweet nonetheless.

Isaac chuckled, taking away the tray and placing a wet cloth over your forehead as you lay down again. “I promise. Rest now, Pickle.”

“Pickle, huh?”

[kinopio-writes]

Hello! I really like the way you write ;) can I see the OCD reader's girlfriend? (she is very paranoid, constantly checking everything, checking the house for hidden cameras, checking things and sometimes throwing tantrums because she thinks she is being watched) characters: Lucifer, Adam

A/N: Thank you. I did a bit of research about OCD, so hopefully I’m not appearing ignorant or anything. I know everyone’s experiences are different, but do tell me if I’m inaccurate.

Also, I know you only specified paranoia, but I added a couple of other things, too. I hope that’s okay. This somehow could all be read platonically.

Warnings: Adam being Adam (he’ll be quite insensitive here and possibly triggering)

———

Lucifer, and Adam w/ a Reader who has OCD

Lucifer

• I don’t think Lucifer would even know that the word mental health exists

• wait, no, scratch that—he explicitly said he has depression

• actually, y’know what, maybe he heard the term depression through Lilith or something

• because there is just no way he knows what mental health is

• he’s been a hermit ever since the beginning of humanity (after he got banished)—how would he know?

• but, uh, anyway, back to the headcanons—

• he doesn’t know you specifically have OCD

• he just thinks what you’re doing is pretty normal since he’s also neurodivergent himself, so he relates to some of the things you think or do

• he’s very supportive

• he healthily alleviates your worries

• he never pushes them away or make it seem like you’re overreacting

• but, uh, constantly reassuring you would very much drain him

• Lucifer is also a man who requires many reassurance

• one of many habits you picked up is constantly checking up on the guy since you know he also has issues himself

• it gets worse if Lucifer’s depression takes a massive decline

• you’re constantly knocking at his office door, calling out his name to make sure he didn’t…

• uh, Lucifer usually doesn’t have the energy to respond during those times, so your worry doubles further

• this is unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence

• moving on, you two often try to get the other to come back to bed (you both struggle with sleeping)

• be it because of your compulsive behaviors or him hyper-fixating on finishing his rubber duck projects that you both lose track of time

• so what happens if it happens to the both of you at the same time?

• uh, it’s just not good

• you two will regret it the next morning

• you two are basically barely functioning together, but are trying to be better for each other

• and for Charlie, too

———

Adam

• I don’t think Adam would notice anything at first

• but if you two see each other quite often (maybe living together), he would pick up on some of your quirks

• he would hate how particular you are about many things

• like, what do you mean it needs to be like this? What do you mean this needs to be exactly like that? And what do you mean that has to be like this? Why can’t it just be the way it already is?

• your anxiousness also irks him

• like, why are you like this? You live in Heaven, for fuck’s sake! Why are you so worried?

• he, uh, “reassures” your paranoia not very healthily

• “Oh, that? Pshh, you’re fineee.” “Don’t worry ’bout it.” “Stop being so paranoid.” “Jeez, you’re overreacting.”

• it’s even worse if you’re bothered with things such as messes since Adam definitely does not have cleanliness as a trait

• his home is usually cluttered unless he uses his powers or gets someone to do it for him

• if you have trouble with time management, don’t worry about accidentally waking Adam up late at night ’cause he has a shitty sleep schedule

• you also don’t have to worry about that since he’s probably a heavy sleeper

• actually, he probably either sleeps in until the afternoon or takes afternoon naps after a sleepless night

• those times when he’s awake at ungodly hours are when he notices your habits

• if you don’t want any of the behavior I’ve mentioned, please educate him because he will most definitely not do it himself

• don’t be afraid to speak your mind because he obviously can’t read it

• but he won’t exactly make things easier for you

• unless it’s convenient for him

• he’ll just tone himself down a bit (his words, I mean)

• but he’ll slip up from time to time because he’s just very used to not being mindful of the things he says

• overall, just know that he’ll get annoyed and frustrated with you at times

• ...uh, yeah

• maybe you just shouldn’t be around him

[jrow]

May Prompts (20)

Day 19 here. Start at the beginning here.

Do Over

“Perhaps you need a …. I believe the colloquial term is do over.”

He pulls the mobile away from his ear. “Please don’t try to talk like a normal person ever again,” he says forcefully into the receiver. He returns the mobile to his ear and says, more quietly. “It’s off-putting.”

His brother sighs. “Yes that was unpleasant for me too. But the advice stands, brother mine. This isn’t some grand mystery for you to solve.”

“Mycroft, I assure you I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Your guilt is getting tedious, Sherlock. And you are far more transparent than you think. You obviously omitted some information in your recounting about the night John fell. me. It’s surely trivial but it’s bothering you so just tell John.”

He says nothing, unsure of how to respond. He hates when Mycroft is right. He walks back down the hall to John’s room and looks in the window. John is sleeping. He looks so peaceful. “I don’t want John to be mad at me,” he says, unsure of why he feels the need to be honest with his brother of all people.

He can hear Mycroft’s eye roll. “That seems unlikely, under the circumstances. And even if it were a probable outcome, Sherlock, delay is hardly an effective tactic. John will remember whatever it is you aren’t telling him.” A pause. “Dr. Watson has always been much more … let’s say hurt … by subterfuge than anything else. A lie by omission is still a lie.”

“He might not remember.”

“We both know that is unlikely. And, in terms of his recovery, not what you want.”

Arg! Why does it brother have to be right?

… And why is the constable guarding John’s room intently watching Sherlock’s half of this conversation? The man’s recently acquired (and atrocious) bleach blonde hair certainly shows a clear lack of judgment.

“Don’t you have something better to do? Your job perhaps,” he snaps at the constable before turning his back on him. It’s not entirely fair because the man’s job is, basically, just to stand there as it seems the constant presence of police has been enough to deter any further intruders. That and the rather Orwellian number of highly visible CCTV cameras that Mycroft had installed.

He hears Mycroft sigh on the other end of the line. “Go talk to John, Sherlock, and put us all out of our misery.” A pause. “But first, put him on. I need to speak with him.”

“John’s sleeping,” he snaps, “and I won’t be waking him to speak to the likes of you. He’s already having enough trouble keeping food down.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Mycroft mutters. “Sod it. I have a message … give him my condolences. I heard his old friend Robert Larkin died. Fentanyl. Terrible thing. I know old Robbie had been planning on visiting but … well he got tied up, I suppose.”

“I’ll pass on the message,” he says, fingers itching to start looking up everything on this Robert Larkin. Mycroft is not all that great at subtlety.

There is silence for a moment before his brother speaks again. “Sherlock, John is safe. Rosie is safe. Let yourself enjoy it.”

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @quimerasyutopias @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty

[zutaralesbian]

what theories elaborate🙏

Was trying not to be too controversial but okay 😂

I think some people headcanon Mickey as being confident when it comes to his relationship with Ian and “never losing hope in their relationship” because it’s a way for them to give Ian a pass for the way he’s hurt Mickey, so to speak. I’ve seen sentiments like “Mickey doesn’t hold anything against Ian. So why does the fandom????” from people in response to criticisms of Ian (particularly when it comes to 5x12 and S6).

People use the 7x10 and 9x06 reunions as evidence of Mickey’s confidence in Ian’s want for him but like…there are several canon instances that point to Mickey actually being pretty insecure about how Ian feels about him and fearful of Ian dropping him again.

At the end of 7x10 he asks Ian “is this goodbye?” and is visibly happily surprised when Ian gets in the car. He was not expecting Ian to agree to go with him.

In 7x11 he asks him “did you ever think about me when I was in the joint?” and voices the fact that Ian never visited bothered him.

In S10, when Ian tells him he has a parole hearing, Mickey is very clearly upset by it at first and doesn’t have any confidence in them maintaining a relationship while Ian is out and he’s in prison (probably because of what happened in S6).

And Mickey literally says “you just don’t love me enough now” when Ian tries to talk to him after the courthouse drama. Point blank spelling out that he doesn’t think Ian loves him as much as he loves Ian. These are all canon scenes and lines.

And it makes complete sense why he would feel that way after Ian’s long history of running away from him. Again, yes, Ian had his reasons. But you can understand why Ian does the things he’s done while also acknowledging the hurtful effect they’ve had on Mickey. And the truth is, Mickey has abandonment issues when it comes to Ian. (At least in S10).

“Ian has commitment issues that stem from his lack of self-worth after his bipolar diagnosis” and “Mickey has been clearly hurt by the times Ian has let him down” are two arguments that can exist at the same time.

[bitethedevil]

Living with the Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 5

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Raphael is in a good mood. He teaches Tav how to play the organ and sings The Song™ to her under very special circumstances. At the same time, Gale is worried and tries to make a rescue plan with Astarion and Shadowheart.

(AN: I know absolutely nothing about music so bear with me if I use the wrong terminology. I can warmly recommend to also listen to the song while reading *that part*. Enjoy a look into Raphael's questionable flirting techniques and some very very spicy organ lessons.)

WARNING: NSFW

Tav had decided not to glamour her face and keep her burn scars visible. She had looked in the mirror in the morning and found that she agreed with Raphael: they did suit her, in an odd way. She felt that she looked more like herself with them, albeit a version of herself that she had not seen for years.

Tav spent the day with Cassius watching her, much to her dismay. He was the only one in the House of Hope who still treated her as a prisoner. He had hated her guts since she cast that sleep spell on him to contact her friends and then convinced him not to say anything.

Cassius did not even try to hide his reaction to her scars. There was a look of slight disgust on his face as he looked at them. Then again, Tav thought. That could also just be his face. Cassius tended to look at her with that annoying sneer as if she was below him, which she had largely begun to ignore.

She started wondering whether there might be more to his clear dislike for her. It did not go past her that Cassius had visited Raphael privately in his boudoir one or two times during the first couple of days of her imprisonment.

Although, she had not noticed any visits between them after her and Raphael had sex that one time. Was it possible that the tiefling was jealous of her in some odd way? Cassius had probably been Raphael’s new favorite pet until she was forcibly dragged to the House of Hope to sleep in his master’s bed each night and take up a considerable amount of his attention.

It was hard for her to garner any sort of sympathy for Cassius though. He treated her like dirt and often tried to provoke her whenever he was tasked to watch her for the day. Whatever was up the warlock’s ass, Tav did not feel responsible for whatever ill feelings he might have towards her. He could take it up with Raphael if he so pleased.

She was waking up from a nap when she heard music playing somewhere in the house. She rolled out of bed and started walking out of the boudoir with Cassius at her heels.

“Where are you going?” Cassius asked.

“Does it matter when you’re tasked with following me anyways?” Tav asked tiredly at his comment.

“You disturb him all the time,” Cassius said, knowing she was on her way to find Raphael. “You don’t think it would be possible that he’d want a moment of peace?”

“If he wanted peace, he shouldn’t have given me free roam of the house,” Tav said. “Or have denied me my own little moment of peace, for that matter…”

“Suit yourself, but one day you will get on his nerves and then he might be inclined to teach you your place,” Cassius said with a sneer.

“It’s really cute that you worry so much about me,” Tav teased him, just to piss him off.

The music got louder as they got to the archive. Tav stuck her head in to greet Raphael with a smile. He was in his human form. Raphael stopped playing the organ and gave her a smile back. He seemed to be in a good mood for some reason.

“It sounds good,” Tav said. “You don’t mind if I sit and read while you’re playing, do you?”

“Please,” Raphael said and gestured to a nearby chair.

Tav widened her smile and threw a glance at Cassius who was awkwardly standing at the entrance, glaring daggers at her. Raphael did not even acknowledge his presence. She sat down with a book, and he started playing again.

“Do you play, mouse?” Raphael asked and looked at her. He was still playing perfectly on the organ despite not even looking at the keys.

The melody he was playing reminded her of a predator slowly sneaking up on its prey. It sounded beautiful but it was also quite dark. Just what she would expect from someone like him.

“I did a little bit once,” she answered and then gestured to his fingers that were elegantly dancing over the keys with ease. “Nothing as complicated as that though.”

“It really is not that complicated,” he said and then stopped playing to hold a hand out to her. “Let me show you.”

The smirk on his face told her that he was up to something, but she took his hand regardless. In one swift movement, he pulled her closer and seated her in his lap. Her eyes widened a bit at the gesture.

“You certainly seem to be in high spirits tonight,” she noted.

“I am,” he said and rested his chin on her shoulder to look at the keys. “I closed a deal that has been quite the headache for me and successfully retrieved something of mine.”

“Do I want to know the specifics?” Tav asked.

She did not particularly want to know which poor bastard Raphael had roped into giving him their soul, but she was worried that he might be talking about her companions.

“It has nothing to do with your dear little friends, if that is what you are asking,” Raphael said as if he had read her mind and grabbed her hands to move them to the keys in front of her. “Now concentrate.”

He showed her what she knew was a simplified version of the melody he had just been playing. She could not play as fast or as elegantly as Raphael did, but she gave it a try.

“Good,” he purred in her ear and snaked an arm around her waist, making it even more difficult for her to play. “Keep practicing.”

Raphael shifted his head away from her shoulder to look at Cassius for a moment.

“You can go home for the day,” Raphael said to him absentmindedly and then turned his attention back to Tav.  

Tav could see Cassius at the corner of her eye. He looked pissed. He gave Raphael a forced smile and a bow before leaving.

“I see that your health has improved after our little accident last night,” Raphael said. “I also could not help but notice that you decided to keep your scars present like I told you to.”

Tav smiled at the word choice of ‘our little accident’ as if she was to blame as well for him almost killing her. She decided to ignore it.

“I did,” Tav said. “But not because you told me to.”

Raphael chuckled. She would not give him the satisfaction of telling him that he was right, and he knew it.

“Stubborn as ever,” he said. “What did you do today?”

“Napped,” she answered, while still trying to get the hang of the melody.

“How productive,” Raphael said sarcastically and corrected the position of her fingers on the organ. “Am I wrong in assuming that you might be growing a tad bored?”

“It’s hard to do anything with someone watching you all the time…” she said. “Besides…I do miss some of my old books,”

“Hm,” he hummed. “Did you have a favorite?”

“I do but it’s embarrassing…and terribly cliché…” she said and stopped playing for a moment.

Tav’s favorite book was an old romantic tragedy that was well-known to be the favorite novel of just about every woman in Faerûn.

“Don’t be shy,” Raphael purred.

“’A Star in the Darkness’ by Bibella Aldath…” she answered and started playing again.

“Yes, that is rather cliché, dear,” Raphael said and chuckled. “Not a horrible read by any means, but I did expect something slightly more exciting from a former librarian…”

Tav was slowly getting the hang of the melody and her fingers moved over the organ’s keys a little easier now that she had played it a couple of times.

“Better,” he purred in her ear. “You know, this is a very special composition of mine…”

“Oh?” Tav said and kept playing.

“It would have been the very last thing you and your dear friends would ever hear had you decided to steal your contract that day when you robbed my house,” Raphael said. She could practically hear the smile on his face.

“Oh, you wrote music just for us?” Tav asked with amusement in her voice. “How thoughtful of you. It’s such a shame we didn’t get to hear it then.”

“Isn’t it just?” Raphael asked. “But there is time for it yet…when your friends finally decide to pay us a visit.”

Good luck with that, Tav thought.

Tav stopped playing for a moment when she felt Raphael’s hands slowly caress her sides.

“Don’t let me distract you,” he said. “Keep playing.”

She did, but it was getting increasingly difficult not to mess up when he was touching her like that. She felt her body heat up at his touches.

He nuzzled his nose into the back of her hair, taking in her smell. His hand gently moved one of the straps of her top, so that it slipped off her shoulder. He left a soft kiss where the strap had been and slowly trailed his kisses up towards her neck. It was hard to hide how her breathing got shallower.

It made her fingers fall over a few of the keys, which made him smile against her neck.

“How clumsy of you, my dear,” he whispered into her ear. “Try again.”

She took a slow breath and kept playing. The hand that had been caressing her side was snaking up her stomach towards one of her breasts. She took another slow deep breath to not lose focus.

He started fondling her breast through the silk of the top she was wearing. He continued slowly kissing his way up her neck as he touched her. She felt her nipples hardening and once again she played the wrong keys.

“Tut-tut…I really would have expected a wizard of your caliber to have much better grasp on their concentration,” Raphael said and bit firmly but not hard on her neck.

“It is also really rare that someone is touching me while I cast spells,” she said with what was supposed to be frustration, but the breathiness of her voice revealed how much she was into it.

He smirked against her neck.

“Keep playing…” he ordered again.

She did. His hand moved from her breasts to between her legs. She was already soaked when his hand slid under the waistband of her pants, and he started teasing her with his fingers. She did manage to keep her focus on playing…for about a minute. He stopped the movements of his fingers the second she stopped playing.

“Keep going, mouse,” he whispered in her ear. “And I might give you what you want.”

She bit her lip and put her full focus into playing that damned melody that would most likely be stuck in her head for days. Tav had gotten the impression of Raphael as a selfish lover the last time they fucked. She quickly learned that the man absolutely knew what he was doing when he put the effort in to please someone.

The way he was touching her quickly turned her into a moaning mess and he somehow knew that she was getting close. He stopped his movements for a moment, making her whine in frustration.

“From the top,” he ordered and placed another kiss on her neck.

Tav did as she was told and played the melody from its beginning.

That is when he started singing.

His hand started moving between her legs again, making her moan. There were a lot of feelings going through her. Her eyes widened in amusement and surprise as he started singing. He sang in a lowered voice, taking her close proximity into consideration. She felt that lovely voice of his rumble through his chest, which only somehow made her even more wet.

“Hell, hell, hell has it’s laws / Hell, hell, effect and the cause / Curtain falls, but hold your applause / Squirm, squirm, for now down here come the claws…”

She was unable to keep her moans quiet as he was driving her towards orgasm. It took all of her brainpower to keep focusing on playing.

“Fools, fools, how hard you have fought / Brave, brave but its all been for naught / True souls, that couldn’t be bought / Doomed, detected and caught…”

The way his voice growled in her ear on the last word, made her shiver and moan louder. She was so close. Close to both her orgasm and the end of the song. She could not fuck it up now.

“No more deals, it’s over / The final act, your doom / No more grace, it’s over…”

Her orgasm started washing over her, making her squirm in his lap. Her moans got louder and Raphael rubbed her clit faster.

“This House of Hope,” He growled into her ear. “Your tomb…”

The loud sounds she made of her finally reaching her orgasm matched almost perfectly with his prolonged note of the last line. It seemed a bit too intentional and made her think: he has done stuff like this before.  

She slumped back against his chest, her legs shaking and her chest heaving from the intensity of it. He removed his fingers and lifted them to her lips to make her clean them off. He pressed them between her lips. She sucked on them, earning her a groan from him. She had been too busy multi-tasking to notice just how hard his cock was under her.

“Beautiful, dear,” he purred and kissed her cheek. “Perhaps, we should perform it just like this when your friends drop by. Give them a show before they meet their end…”

How did he manage to say that in a way that made her aroused rather than angry? Something was deeply, deeply, fucking wrong with her.

Gale, Shadowheart, and Astarion had met in a secluded corner of the Elfsong.

Gale had been lecturing them on devils, cambions, and the Hells for about an hour now. Shadowheart and Astarion exchanged tired glances.

“Gale—”

“I’m just telling you that we can beat him,” Gale said. “It will not be easy, but we can.”

“She asked us not to go,” Shadowheart said. “Tav believes it’s a trap, so let’s not do anything stupid.”

“Also,” Astarion piped in. “It really is a novel concept for me to be the voice of reason here, but your little plan doesn’t seem to make sense. Lae’zel, Karlach, and Wyll are off doing whatever it is they do. Our little band consists of a wizard, two wizards if Tav is able to join the battle, a cleric, and little old me. Three spellcasters and a vampire who, by the way, can’t even be in Avernus since there is no night…”

“He’s right,” Shadowheart said as she looked at Gale.

“So, we will bring someone else as well…Halsin, Jaheira, or Minsc,” Gale said. “We can’t just leave her there!”

“Gale…” Shadowheart sighed.

“There were also that woman, Hope,” Gale continued. “If we could manage to sneak into her prison, we could free her as well. I’m sure she would be eager to help us fight Raphael.”

“Gale,” Shadowheart said again. “Let it go. Let’s wait until we hear more from her. We have no idea what we could possibly be walking into here.”

“She could be rotting in a dungeon, getting tortured right now. Who knows if she’s even still alive? I won’t leave her there! She—” Gale voice cracked, and he cleared his throat in an attempt to hide the emotions that were welling up inside him. “…Excuse me…She forfeited her soul so that we could give the Crown to Mystra. I have a difficult time not feeling responsible for this.”

Shadowheart’s, and even Astarion’s, expression softened slightly as they saw the toll it was taking on Gale.

“That woman has done so much for us,” Gale said. “We have to get her back somehow.”

“Alright,” Shadowheart said with a sigh. “Let’s not do anything hasty before we’ve learned more about what we are dealing with. She told us ‘not to listen to him’ in her message, but we haven’t heard from Raphael at all…He might try to offer us some sort of deal.”

“It really is unlike him,” Astarion said. “That bastard usually isn’t shy when it comes to popping up at the most inconvenient times.”

“He might want us to be desperate,” Gale said and rubbed his face as he tried to think. “Raphael doesn’t know that we know where Tav is…so he might be waiting for us to panic before he strikes.”

“My point is,” Shadowheart said. “If we knew a bit more about whatever it is he wants to offer us or what he wants from us, it might be easier to figure out what we can do. So…should we try to contact her again?”

“A wise suggestion,” Gale said. “If nothing else, it could grant us peace of mind that she is still alive.”

“Good,” Astarion said and clapped his hands together. “I will leave you two to do your spell stuff then. You know where to find me. Can I go now?”

Gale nodded and conjured a piece of parchment and a quill.

Shadowheart watched as Astarion left and then turned her attention to Gale.

“You are aware that this isn’t your fault, right?” she asked him, but she got no response from him as he was writing. “Right, Gale?”

Gale sighed and stopped writing for a moment.

“That does not make me feel less responsible,” he said. “She is very dear to me, and I don’t think I could forgive myself if I let something happened to her.”

“We will get her back somehow,” Shadowheart said. “I’m sure she’s fine. This is Tav we’re talking about. She is great at adapting to weird situations, and she would tell you not to worry so much if she was here, I’m sure of it.”

Gale smiled slightly and nodded. He returned his focus to writing the message for her.

Raphael was being odd. They had sex that evening while he was still in his human form. Again, a weird feeling for her because it felt so normal. It did not help that he was being a lot gentler with her than he had last time. He still teased her and kept her on edge, but there was no pain involved this time.

The kisses were something completely new as well. It was never on the mouth, though he planted kisses everywhere else. It felt so much more intimate than what she would ever have considered him to be capable of and it drove her insane.

He’s a devil, he’s a devil, he’s a devil. Those words became Tav’s mantra inside her head each time those little kisses and his weird gentleness made her heart flutter ever so slightly.

She slept till late noon. When she opened her eyes, Raphael was off to work as usual and she was met with Cassius’s intense gaze. She groaned and rolled over to her other side. She felt that something had been stuck under her pillow. She rubbed her eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed. She lifted the pillow and saw a book.

She read the cover: ’A Star in the Darkness’ by Bibella Aldath. Her all-time favorite book about the tragic and forbidden love between a drow and a moon elf. From the looks of it, it was an early edition too which was exceedingly hard to find considering how old the story was.

She could not help the faint smile that washed over her face and the way her heart fluttered again. She quickly tried to push that feeling away and returned to her mantra: he’s a devil, he’s a devil, he’s a devil…

That is when she heard Gale’s voice transmitted to her mind through a sending spell:

“Hope you are still alive and well. What is it that Raphael wants from us and what should we expect if he contacts us?”

Tav’s brow furrowed at the message, and she was glad that her back was turned to Cassius so he could not see the expression on her face at the message. Raphael hadn’t even talked to them yet?

She needed to get a message back to them somehow. What they were asking were fair questions, but it also sounded an awful lot like her companions might be planning to do something stupid and she needed to stop them.

[girlfromflor]

atsumu and his infatuation with stoic!reader - part 2

wc: 2301 | tw: swear words, mentions of princess as a nickname for reader, but mostly is gn!reader | a/n: this is much longer than i expected

to say atsumu was whipped was an understatement. he was completely in love with you, absolutely unaware of everything else, no thoughts in his pretty head other than you, you, you. everyone could tell. he would always follow you around, even if it was just with his eyes. he would often offer to do whatever it was that you needed “do you need help?”, “don’t you want me to do that for you?”, “are you sure you don’t need anything?”. he would be the nicest guy ever with you, but totally rude with whoever tried to bug you – or hit on you for that matter. 

one day you were leaving class a bit late to practice and accidently bumped into an older boy on the way out. atsumu, who was waiting for you at the end of the hallway – as usual –, only watched, waiting to see if you would need any assistance. the guy was ready to throw a bitter remark, but before he even said anything you started “i’m sorry, you were standing in front of the door, there wasn’t much i could do”.

atsumu smiled, thinking he was so lucky you were so direct. he never really had any trouble reading your actions towards others – because when it came to you two he never really knew if he did understand right. but then he heard the dude’s reply, “couldn’t you at least ask for me to move? are you this disrespectful to your elders?” and his blood boiled. who was that guy to call you out like that? you didn’t react, though. with a blank expression, you talked very briefly and calmly, bothered that you had to prolong the dialogue when you should be heading to practice. “couldn’t you not stand in the way? and i am respectful to my elders, but only to the ones that deserve it, anyway.” and then you left, turned on your heels and went to astumu’s direction, knowing he would be there even if that meant he’d be late too.

“i should’ve told him that–” he started, face burning up at the way someone could feel so comfortable being a dick with an angel like you. but you stopped him, holding his wrist with your right hand only to hook your fingers in his bracelet – the one he never stopped using since the day he received it, the one you gave him. you both kept walking towards the gym, your fingers on his bracelet as you said “thank you, for waiting for me” with your face serene, something he doesn’t usually see. then he understood, that stupid guy was not worth stressing about. he replied with a small laugh, much more at ease now that you all but wiped his anger with just a simple gesture of gratitude. “sure. anytime, love.”

as for the days you guys were off school, he could not bear to have no news from you, so he often sent a message or two only to be sure nothing happened and that you were fine. but you were such a dry texter, frequently replying with hand emojis and abbreviated words. he often waited for you two to be together to tell you things he was excited about, that way he wouldn’t misunderstand your words. although, there was one day. one where he felt such an excruciating longing after spending what felt like weeks without seeing you – you had skipped friday classes and it was sunday already, which meant almost three days away from you and it was just too much. 

so he grabbed his phone, his lock screen wallpaper making him smile – a photo he took of you when you fell asleep at the bus on your way back home after winning a game – as he unlocked it and looked for your number in his contact list. as soon as he found it he clicked the call button, a much sincere “hi! i missed you, love” falling from his lips when he was greeted with your soft, low voice. you were caught off guard, not expecting him to be so blunt like this. you flustered and covered your face with your free hand, forgetting that he couldn’t see you, replying with a muttered “uh, i didn’t expect you to say it like that” as always a straightforward princess, he thought. but then you finished with “i missed you too, but we're gonna see each other tomorrow anyway, right?” 

he saw stars, your sentence hitting him so hard he had to take a deep breath to recompose himself. smiling ear to ear, eyes sparkling with this new found version of you, he tried to get more – always the eager one. “did you, huh? guess i can’t skip class now” he laughed at the teasing and you just braced yourself for what was to come, because you knew he wasn't finished “how could i ever deny that, especially now that i know you’ve been missing me, princess”.

you giggled, thinking he’s so endearing when he wants, always bringing you a much peaceful and warm feeling whenever he said things like that. you thought you could do what you always did – point out that he was too affectionate for no reason, maybe say “you would know everything about that, right?”. but you felt too good for that, the “anonymity” of the phone call giving you enough courage to say what you really wanted. your voice sounded much more like a whisper – but he was too focused to miss anything – when you said “you better. three days are enough, don’t really want to stay another day away from you”.

he could almost see the pout forming in your lips as you finished your sentence and he could not believe that you were acting lovingly towards him. why? does it mean you feel the same as he does? or were you just being polite? did you even know what that did to him? he wanted to stay in this moment forever, he wanted to hear you say it over and over again. god, it was so unfair. why’d you have to be so goddamn perfect? “why are you so perfect? i don't know how to deal with it”.

“welcome to the club, then” you whispered and atsumu was really starting to think the boys convinced you to prank him. you were even coping with his corniness. “could i be any other way? i have to get even with you somehow, right?” you blurted, mindlessly. and he lost it. he was way too down for you for this to be okay. he dropped dead in his bed, eyes glassy thinking about what that meant. what it all meant. “why do you do this to me?” he voiced out, sounding weak and in much need for a hug. but you’ve had enough, “why do you do the things you do to me? i don’t know if you know what it is, but it’s mutual, you know?” you said. sounding much more calmer than you actually were, you swore it was getting on your nerves. you knew it was time to be honest with him. you’ve been so infatuated with the boy but never managed to demonstrate just right.

after that, your call was just like any other conversation you guys had – except atsumu was extra happy this time. when you guys met the next day, he couldn’t hide his smile if his life depended on it. you guys talked like you always did, walked like you always did, but the feeling of fulfillment never left. and that made you think it was never not-romantic. you were never just friends, but how would it be now? it wasn’t until almost a whole month after your convo that you finally got your answer. 

afternoons at miya’s household were a very common, very nice thing between the inarizaki boys. they would often have sleepovers and game nights when there were no classes and everything was so light that time passed by almost too quickly. when you finally accepted to be part of the movie nights it was only because atsumu had tenderly caressed your face, asking very softly – very persuasively – for you to be there, he said he really needed you to go. so you went. knowing full well that he had taken advantage of a new found weakness of yours – his furrowed brows and pouting lips as he asks something to you and you could never deny his pretty pouting lips.

as you got there, atsumu greeted you with a tight hug before any of the boys could see you, thinking maybe you wouldn’t be too comfortable with pda – but mostly because he knew neither of you would hear the end of it. then he walked you in and as you took your shoes off you saw osamu standing by the couch offering his spot while waiting for you to join them. but you denied, a bit shy – which was atypical of you – as you walked past him and sat down the closest you could to atsumu. 

everyone eyed you two, atsumu could already feel his cheeks growing kind of hot as aran started “well, look at you getting comfy”. you gave him a tight lipped smile, surprisingly not feeling shy at all anymore as you replied bluntly “nothing wrong with that, right?” then you turned to atsumu, hand resting on his knee, voice just a bit softer than the first time you spoke, “right?”. he laughed, a truehearted sound and it melted you. for a moment you let go of any restraints, your eyes glued on his as he smiled at you. you felt your heart so warm, your body was floating at the sudden realization that he was just as translucent with his feeling as you were with your bluntness. his arms came to rest on your shoulders as his hand shoved your face on his chest, ruffling your hair lovingly “yeah. right, love”. you could only smile, feeling truthfully happy with the interaction and the boys decided to not comment on it, even as they saw the brush of atsumu’s lips on your forehead – a quick kiss being pressed there as he squeezed you lightly on his embrace – and your eyes sparkling, face just as calm and receptive, like they never saw before.

and that went pretty well for the night, you both on your own moment. sometimes making comments about the movie, sometimes complaining about the boys chit-chatting during it. but it came to an end and you had to go home. atsumu guided you to the front door, eyes dancing on your figure as he looked at you through his lashes and you knew something was about to come “thanks for coming, love. it was much nicer with you here, you know”. you nodded slowly, body swaying awkwardly as you asked “are you going to kiss me?”, your voice sincere and calm, your eyes low and your lips slightly pouting. 

atsumu thought he couldn’t be happier, finally having the opportunity to feel this close to you. finally able to see your true colors. “do you want that?” he asked, lips forming an inevitable smirk, eyes flicking to your lips quickly before returning to yours. you stopped mid-track, the butterflies in your stomach making you remember the very first time you felt this – when you first met atsumu. your mind was racing, your eyes failed to maintain eye contact and fell on his lips, coincidentally right when he decided to wet them a bit – which he often does when feeling nervous. you flustered even harder, nervously looking back at his eyes only to get lost again. you did your hardest to remember what it was that he asked, but nothing came to mind and “huh?” was all that left your mouth. he absolutely adored you, growing excited by the minute he repeated with a smile “do you want it? a kiss?” and that’s all that took for you to snap back to the moment, you brows furrowing as you said “are you for real?” he tilted his head to the side, smiling harder. “yes…” you muttered, “i want a kiss”.

he slowly grabbed your waist, eyes never leaving yours as he felt your hands on his shoulders and then on his neck. it took a lifetime for him to touch your lips with his own, but when he did, time felt like it stopped totally. the kiss was soft, calm and reassuring, both of you putting all your feelings in it. when his tongue dragged on yours slowly you felt like there was no floor touching your feet. you got closer to him, fingers running through his locks as your chests pressed together. atsumu was losing his mind, a soft sound leaving him as he felt you reward all his actions and advances with only one kiss. and he would never forget it. the urge to squeeze your waits overcame him. he did just that, hand caressing your hip as you guys broke apart, panting from the lack of air.

“i wanted to do that for so long, love…” he said, his arms hugged your waist and you kept yours around his neck. “since we met.” you replied, his brows shooting up in confusion but you didn’t let him ask as you continued “i wanted to do that since we met…”. and he embraced you even harder, with all he could. his mind blank only you, you, you replaying over and over. he drought in your scent, with his face in your neck he whispered “i think don’t think i will ever have the strength to let you go” and you knew he wasn’t only talking about the hug you shared but it was okay, because you felt the same “i don’t think i will either”.

[riizegasm]

Through The Fire || B. EJ

❀ pairing: &team byun euijoo x fem!reader (ft. nicholas)

❀ genre: bffs to lovers!au, angst, minor fluff

❀ word count: ~6.2k

❀ warnings: explicit language, reader has a house fire, slight possessive behavior, lots of introspection

❀ summary: Stability is a luxury that isn’t afforded to everyone. However, you’re lucky enough to have your best friend, who has remained as the one stable factor throughout your whole life, even through the fire.

❀ A/N: I'm so so excited to share my second work with you all! I think this is one of the fastest times I have ever written a piece, which I think just shows how much I really love it. I hope you all love it too! As always, likes, reblogs, and replies are always welcome :)

masterlist

Red. Blue. Red. Blue. Red. Blue. Red—

“Y/N!”

You blink, no longer blinded by the flash of cop cars. A quick glance across the parking lot reveals a familiar silhouette trying to cross the yellow caution tape, only being held back by a policeman. You release a shaky breath, trying to find your voice for the first time all night.

“It’s okay,” you call, praying your voice is loud enough. “He’s here for me.”

For once in your life, your voice is actually heard, the police officer nodding once before lifting the caution tape. Euijoo manages to duck under, his large frame only stumbling once before rising to his full height. His long legs allow him to move quickly, pulling you into a hug before you can even blink. From your sitting position, your face ends up pressed into the hard plane of Euijoo’s abdomen. You can feel his thundering heartbeat beneath the skin.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he breathes, leaning down to press his cheek into the messy mop of your hair.

When the two of you part, you wince at the few black streaks that have transferred to Euijoo’s t-shirt. You know that ash is likely still coloring your face, the scent of fire and burning fabric clinging to your skin. Although the flames have been put out, there is still residual smoke pluming from the building behind you. You cough twice, as if wisps of clouded air are still swirling around your lungs.

Euijoo squats down, finally eye level with your seated form as he searches your face. You let your eyes flutter shut, telling yourself that you’re still dazed from the fire. In reality, you know that making eye contact with the man before you would be too painful. He has always been too transparent, emotions freely swimming in his brown eyes.

“Were you able to grab anything else?” Euijoo’s voice has fallen to no more than a whisper.

You just shake your head in response, not bothering to acknowledge your purse and laptop that are placed next to you. Everything else, as far as you know, is gone. Euijoo sighs.

“They said that tomorrow, we can come back to look for things,” you whisper, swallowing back the sob that threatens to escape your throat. “But they told us not to get our hopes up.”

Euijoo is silent for a moment, staring at you with those deep dark eyes. You can feel the intensity of his stare with your eyes closed, having been on the receiving end of that same gaze many times. You know he pities you, but that’s the last thing you want right now.

“I’m taking you home, back to my place. You can stay there for as long as you need.”

Your eyes pop open, meeting Euijoo’s gaze for the first time that night. “You don’t have to. I can get a hotel or something for the night.”

“Absolutely not. When you moved out here, I promised your parents that I would take care of you, so that’s what I’m going to do.” Euijoo stands again to his full height, reaching out a hand that you eye warily. “Now let’s go home.”

. . .

Euijoo’s body wash smells of wood and cinnamon, the smell filling the bathroom and replacing the scent of fire and smoke that had previously seeped into your skin. Even his body lotion has a very specific scent, one that you are all too familiar with. The aroma clings to his clothes, along with a faint hint of laundry detergent, filling your nose as you slip into one of his shirts and a pair of shorts. They both hang incredibly long on you, shoulders in the shirt sagging while the shorts are snug around your hips.

Your wet hair has been pulled back into a bun, which you know will be a mess to tame in the morning. But Euijoo didn’t have any of the right hair products, and you would rather die than ask him to buy you something at the moment. Even when he offered, you shut him down, letting him know that anything he was missing would be a problem for the next day. After all, it was already well after midnight.

Euijoo’s eyes soften around the edges when you finally emerge from the bathroom, smiling timidly at you from the couch. You plop down unceremoniously next to him, hugging your knees to your chest as you back into the corner of the couch. Its leather creaks with the movement, a familiar sound after all these years.

“I ordered some food, just in case you haven’t eaten,” Euijoo says, inching further into your space. It’s impossible to fight a flinch when he places a hand on your bare knee, right where his shorts have ridden up your thigh. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

Without looking, you know that Euijoo is rolling his eyes, the tiny hint of sass that he’s harbored since childhood peeking through.

“Well, I called your dad, and he said you only texted your parents briefly. He wanted to talk to you but I told him that you were showering and probably didn’t feel like talking.” Euijoo gives your thigh a firm squeeze. “But I was hoping you’d at least talk to me.”

Your heart lurches at the thought of Euijoo speaking to your family, even though you know it has been a regular occurrence since you were teenagers. Your parents had always been fond of him, the picture-perfect image of the boy next door. And as you grew older, Euijoo had basically been absorbed into the family. Even though he’s been your best friend since you were children, you don’t know why the thought of talking to him right now is making your stomach swim.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you mumble, shrinking further into the couch cushions.

“Y/N…just…look at me, please?”

It takes all your strength, but you manage to tear your gaze away from your knees to meet Euijoo’s own. His rounded eyes are sparkling like they always are, a hint of sadness dampening their brightness. His lips pull up into a small smile at the eye contact, plush cheeks dimpling. His warm hand is still placed firmly on your thigh, large enough to span most of its circumference.

“There you are,” he coos, beginning to rub light circles on the exposed skin of your thigh. “Listen, I know you. I know you’re going to keep saying everything is fine because you don’t want anyone to worry about you. But your entire apartment building just burned down. You’re feeling something. You have to talk to someone about it. Even if it’s not me, you have to let someone in.”

You blink, and when you reopen your eyes, your vision is cloudy. Fat, hot tears spill over, leaving scalding trails down your cheeks. You can barely make out Euijoo’s smile dropping before you are pulled into a tight embrace. When you both were younger, you used to hate when Euijoo would use his overwhelming strength against you. But now, you are grateful for it, knowing you wouldn’t have hugged him otherwise.

“I was so scared, Juju,” you sob into the crook of his neck. “I was just in my room and when I opened the door, everything was in flames. There wasn’t anywhere I could go! I was trapped on the balcony until they came and got me. I thought I was gonna die.”

Euijoo just squeezes you tighter at the outburst, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “I’m so sorry. But you’re okay now. You’re safe here with me.”

The two of you are quiet for a few moments, the only thing interrupting the silence being the occasional hiccup or sniffle. It feels like ages until you have finally calmed down enough to pull away. But when you do, you notice the tear tracks drying on Euijoo’s ruddy cheeks.

“Why are you crying?” You ask softly.

Euijoo just shrugs, chuckling sadly. “I don’t like seeing you upset.”

You don’t have enough time to respond before the doorbell rings, signaling the arrival of your food. Euijoo excuses himself to go answer it, allowing you to admire the long lines of his legs as he retreats. You can’t help but feel embarrassed, as you always are around the man. But you hate the way he leaves your heart hammering in your chest as you stare.

It’s not like you are unaware of how attractive Euijoo is. After all, the first time you ever laid eyes on him at seven years old, you swore he was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. Despite the childish attraction, you had grown to love him in a much deeper way, the kind of love that only develops when you know someone inside and out. Euijoo grew taller, older, buffer, more handsome, and you had found a million ways to love him differently, love him deeper. The love you had for Euijoo surely changed, which leaves you hating the way your body heats up and your pulse picks up speed as Euijoo rounds the corner.

His wide smile is paired with crinkled eyes and you feel a piece of your heart turn heavy like lead.

“I’m like 90% sure they got some of our order wrong, but there’s still plenty of good stuff in case you’re hungry.”

You don’t bother looking at the takeout bag, too busy guiltily feasting your eyes on the sight before you.

. . .

Falling into a routine is unfairly easy. The two of you will wake up from your shared bed, at Euijoo’s insistence that you don’t sleep on the couch, and begin to get ready for the day. You cook breakfast as Euijoo gets ready for work, cherishing the fact that your job has permitted you plenty of personal leave. You watch him leave in a crisply pressed suit and daintily patterned tie, off to his accounting job for a few hours.

Then you sit in silence, ruminating over everything that has led you to this exact moment. You replay the moment that you were confronted with a wall of flames, feeling heat lick at your toes the same way it did that night. You let your shoulders shake in terror the same way they did when you were trapped on the balcony, fearing for your life. You cough like the billowing smoke is clouding your lungs, even though the air in Euijoo’s apartment is crisp and smells faintly of lemon-scented cleaner.

Then Euijoo comes through the door, and you slap a smile on your face. Sometimes he returns with takeout, bag overflowing with all of your shared favorites. Sometimes he comes with a bag full of groceries, which the two of you unpack together while Euijoo recounts his day. You’re quick to shoo him away as you begin to cook.

It’s the only thing that makes you feel like less of a parasite than you are.

You’re both following that exact routine until you reach your first Saturday, and Euijoo practically vibrates in excitement at the prospect of spending the day together. Despite living in the same city, the two of you have rarely spent full days together, work or other personal engagements always getting in the way.

“I was thinking of having a few friends over tonight,” Euijoo mentions over a bowl of cereal. “I feel like you haven’t met enough of my friends.”

“It’s your house,” you shrug, burying your nose into your own bowl so you don't have to face the disappointed look in his eye.

“Y/N, you gotta stop with that.”

“With what?” You snap.

You know you’re being difficult. You know that all Euijoo wants is some positive input from his best friend, but you can’t. It hurts deep in your core to give him what he’s wanting when you know you are already taking so much. You shouldn’t be here, and you definitely shouldn’t have a say in whether or not Euijoo has his friends over tonight. Yet, he wants to hear from you.

Like he thinks you’re important. Like he thinks you matter. Like he thinks you’re more than just a virus, invading a host for selfish gain.

You have nothing to gain, you remind yourself.

“I’m sorry, Juju,” you sigh, brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I mean it.”

Euijoo’s spoon falls into his porcelain bowl with a loud clink. “I know you’re not. You’re just going through a lot right now. But I just want to help you.”

“You’re doing way more than just helping me.”

“I feel like I’m not doing enough.”

You sigh. “What do you mean? You’re already doing so much by just having me here and I can’t help but just wonder why.”

“Because I love you.”

The way he says it jumpstarts your heart, hotwiring it so it’s moving at a million miles per hour in your chest. You know he doesn’t mean it the way you want him to. He loves in the way a best friend loves, in the way family loves, that much is clear.

But there’s something in his open expression that has your heart clinging onto a maybe. Maybe he has loved you the way you have loved him and hated yourself for. Maybe he knows that being loved is all that you have ever wanted but is simultaneously your greatest fear. Maybe he knows that all of your belongings disappearing right before your very eyes while he was the only thing that remained meant something to you.

“You’re my best friend.”

Or maybe it meant nothing at all.

Euijoo sighs, leaning back in his chair before addressing you across the table from him. “It’s impossible for me not to worry about you when you won’t talk to me, or to anyone! You don’t leave the house and it just scares me. I want to help you, but I can’t do anything until you let me.”

You swallow, your bite of cereal feeling too thick as it travels down your esophagus. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Euijoo mutters as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just let me in.”

“I’m trying.”

“Are you?”

You’re not, and you both know it. If anything, you’re doing the exact opposite, trying to close yourself off as much as possible. You shrink into spaces, making yourself so small that Euijoo will forget that you’re there. It never seems to work, though. The other man sees you no matter where you attempt to hide.

There’s a moment of silence as the two best friends regard each other. Silently, you mourn your cereal getting soggy in your bowl even though you have lost your appetite. Euijoo’s own is empty, his metal spoon resting against the pure white bowl. For a moment, you catch a whiff of cinnamon. You’re temporarily perplexed, only to have your own question answered when the neckline of Euijoo’s shirt shifts against your collarbones. Despite not wanting to feel parasitic, you can’t refuse the comfort of literally living in his clothes.

“I just want you to be happy and have some fun tonight, so I’m going to have some people stop by.” Euijoo doesn’t once break eye contact as he speaks. “It’s not going to be big, but it will be good for you to talk to someone who isn’t me.”

You suppress a scoff, knowing that you don't really talk to Euijoo either, not in the way he desires. “Fine. Like I said, it’s your house.”

You don't stay to hear the exasperated sigh that Euijoo lets out, choosing instead to dump the remains of your cereal in the trash. There isn’t much other space to retreat to, so you make yourself comfy on the sofa, just barely out of Euijoo’s sight. It’s only a moment before the man joins you, hoisting your legs onto his lap.

“Movie?” He questions, thumb rubbing small circles into the bare skin of your ankle as if all is forgiven.

You just make a small noise of affirmation before sinking further into the cushions, letting yourself get comfortable as Euijoo puts something on.

Euijoo’s touch used to fluster you, back when you were in that awkward stretch of preteen and early teen years. No guys touched girls the way that Euijoo touched you unless they were dating. The girls in your classes would always try and convince you that it had to mean something more, that he had to feel something more for you than just platonic love. He loved loved you.

It didn’t help that you loved him way more than you should have.

It was enough to make you flinch when he wrapped an arm around your waist and pull away when he trapped you in a hug. You avoided holding hands on the way home from school and refused to share earbuds when the two of you sat next to each other. It would all make your heart pound too hard and your palms so sweaty that your phone would slip through your grasp.

You were just friends; that you knew. It didn’t matter that Euijoo loved to play with the loose pieces of hair that framed your face or that his hand outgrew yours to the point where your fingers swam in the spaces between his. It didn’t matter that your chest constricted every time his right cheek dimpled or that your face burned every time he called you by your name.

Because every boiling pot eventually cools to a simmer when the heat dissipates.

As you two grew into late teens and early adulthood, you eventually relaxed into the affection that Euijoo would display. The constriction relaxed to a minor tightness and the burn became more of a minor glow. You became more confident that this is what friends feel for each other, a love so vast that it fills your core to the brim but never fully encompasses you.

You would gladly let him encompass you. But until he does, you’ll have to make do with his scent.

You find yourself using Euijoo’s body wash in the shower before the party, even though your own has made a home right next to his. You also use his lotion, rubbing the scent of him into your skin. As much as you contemplate wearing his clothes again, you know that it will only be right to put on your best for tonight. Your makeup and hair are done for the first time in a week, and you feel a bit more like yourself again.

You feel like a girl anyone can look at and not know she’s screaming inside. You consider it a win.

The few friends that Euijoo invites over arrive in waves. It gives you enough time to introduce yourself and make some small talk before having to do it time and time again. By the fifth or so introduction, though, you’re feeling a little worn out, even with the booze that helps ease your nerves. You grab another seltzer from the fridge and squeeze into the corner of the sofa. You only have a few moments of peace before the leather dips beside you.

“Mind if I join you?”

Deep, piercing eyes are only barely visible behind overgrown black fringe, the rest of his hair falling down the back of his neck. Nicholas’s smile is welcoming, extremely warm and familiar for someone you have just met a handful of minutes ago. Despite the assortment of clunky rings, silver jewelry, and thick eyeliner, he seems pretty soft and pleasant.

“Go ahead,” you mumble, taking a long swig from your can.

“You know, It’s nice to finally meet you, the infamous but ever-illusive best friend. Euijoo literally talks about you all the time.”

You wish you could say the same, but Euijoo has always been notoriously quiet about others when you two speak. It used to bug you, not knowing anything about who your best friend chose to spend his time with. But throughout the years, you were forced to let it go.

“Good things, I hope.”

Nicholas chuckles softly. “Great things, actually. But something tells me it still doesn’t compare to you in real life.”

“You don’t even know me,” you scoff. “How would you know what I’m like?”

“Well, if your personality is anything like your beauty, then I think Euijoo just barely scratched the surface.”

The snort that you let out genuinely takes you by surprise. You rush to apologize, free hand coming up to hide your grin despite the way Nicholas is smiling as well. He looks pretty like this, you note, with his cheeks twisted upwards and eyes shining with mirth.

“I’m so sorry,” you giggle. “But that was a crazy line.”

Nicholas shrugs. “Listen, making pretty girls laugh is an art form. I had to say what I had to say. You honestly looked like you were going to commit murder just sitting here.”

Now it’s your turn to shrug, the smooth beats of Euijoo’s playlist soothing the silence between the two. The brief moment of respite is enough for you to feel a pair of eyes on you from across the room. When you turn to face Euijoo, though, he just shoots you a calm smile.

“I don’t think he likes that I’m talking to you.”

“Who? Euijoo?”

Nicholas doesn’t respond, choosing instead to take a long swig of his drink. The silver rings on his fingers reflect the minimal light in the room as he tilts his cup back. You struggle not to trace the movement of his throat with your gaze as he drinks.

“Why would he not want you to talk to me?”

“I think it’s because you’re off limits, sweetheart.”

Before you can respond, a warm body plops down on the couch next to you, instantly pressing into your space. The woodsy scent of Euijoo’s cologne is confirmation enough, but the way his hand instantly finds a home on your thigh is a dead giveaway. When you look over to regard the man, his eyes are trained away, locked on Nicholas instead.

“And what are you two chatting about?” He inquires with an overly saccharine smile.

Nicholas just smiles. “See what I mean?”

He’s gone with little more than a wink and a subtle tip of his cup.

. . .

Sunday morning brings a welcome mundane energy. You and Euijoo stand side by side at the sink, sudsy hands working on washing sticky juice and lip gloss off glasses from the night before. There’s soft music playing from Euijoo’s phone, a pleasant melody filling the silence along with the sound of flowing water. Despite the serenity, you can’t help the question itching in the back of your brain.

“So what was that last night?”

“What was what?” Euijoo’s eyes are endearingly round when he turns to look at the woman on his left.

You sigh. “That whole thing with Nicholas? We were talking and then you came in seeming all threatened?”

“Threatened?” Euijoo chuckles. “Why would I be threatened?”

“I have no idea. That’s why I’m asking.”

The smile that rises on Euijoo’s face doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His ears begin to bloom a brilliant shade of red, tipping you off to the lie he’s about to tell.

“I wasn’t threatened. It made me happy to see two of my closest friends getting along.”

The sound of the faucet running prevents you from responding, Euijoo having turned it on with a sense of finality. You decide not to push it, knowing that when Euijoo gets cagey like this, time and space are the only thing that can make him open up. You guess it’s what makes the two of you similar, your limited ability to be transparent with each other over the things that really matter.

You spend the rest of the day circling around each other like animals in an enclosure. You share space, following each other from room to room while simultaneously keeping as much distance as physically possible. When Euijoo sits on one side of the couch, you sit on the other. When you rummage through the fridge, Euijoo stands by the breakfast table. It isn’t until you both find yourselves in the shared bathroom, brushing your teeth over a shared sink that you speak.

“I think threatened is the wrong word for it,” Euijoo says with a foamy mouth. “I just know how Nicholas is, so I wanted you to be careful.”

You spit. “What do you mean?”

“He’s the player type, likes to fuck around.” Euijoo spits and swishes some water around his mouth before continuing. “I know he thinks you’re cute or whatever. But you deserve better than that.”

“Since when do you care about my love life?”

“Since forever.”

There it goes again, the feeling of maybe. You are left to wonder if he means that in the sense that you want him to mean it. You wonder if his attention to you comes from his Virgo nature or from his genuine care for you. You wonder if it comes from his love for you, and if it’s the same type of love that you have for him.

“You know I don’t date like that,” you mumble, folding your arms over your chest. You’re once again clad in Euijoo’s tee shirt, a tiny pair of shorts disappearing underneath its hem.

Euijoo sighs. “I know. But I also know that Nico doesn’t care about dating. That’s not what he’d want from you.”

“And who’s to say that’s what I want from him either?”

“I didn’t know you were that type.”

I’m not, you want to say, but the words swirl back down your throat like water down a drain. You don't get a chance to respond before Euijoo is leaving the bathroom, running a hand through his hair. It feels pathetic to follow him out, but you do anyway, trying to find words as you plop down onto his bed. Euijoo switches the light off before settling in next to his best friend.

“Look,” Euijoo says after a moment of silence. “If you want to go after Nico, then I can’t stop you. I’m sure he’d be happy to have you.”

“Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Have me? In that way, I mean.”

The words leave your mouth before you can properly process what they mean. You want to rush to take them back, to let the words that hang in the darkness return to the safety of your brain. For some reason, you let them linger.

Euijoo releases a shaky breath, the sound seeming thunderous in the silent darkness. For a good moment, that’s all there is. You would be convinced that the man fell asleep if it weren’t for the odd rhythm of his breathing and the way his body shifts.

“Y/N, I could never.”

The blood in your veins ices over, leaving you frozen in place.

“Oh.”

Euijoo shifts on the bed, laying on his side so that he’s able to fully face you. “I mean there’s all of this. You’re in a vulnerable spot and we’ve been spending a lot of time together. I’m sure you’re just feeling a lot right now.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Euijoo sighs. “That’s why I also want you to think twice before going for Nico.”

You want to scream. How Euijoo could bring Nicholas up at a time like this is beyond you. You don't know how he can’t see that this isn’t about him. This isn’t about trauma or a fire or needing a warm bed to sleep in. This is about you, both of you. This has been about you way before the fire and will continue to be about you for years after.

But it’s no use, you know that much. In times of conflict, Euijoo has always been quick to skirt around the topic, always trying to obscure the truth through diversion. But there’s one simple fact that remains clear; Euijoo doesn’t want you. Or rather, he doesn’t want you to want him.

“I really hate when you do this, you know,” you spit.

You can almost hear Euijoo’s eye roll as he speaks. “When I do what?”

“When you try to tell me how I feel. You don’t know shit about how I’m feeling.”

“I could,” Euijoo retorts. “But you never let me in. So what the hell do you expect me to do?”

Even in the dark, you know the man’s face has turned red, hot with frustration. The knowledge is enough to keep you silent for a moment, carefully mulling over your words before you speak.

“If I tell you how I’m feeling, I’m going to end up telling you too much.”

“You could never tell me too much.”

You can’t help but sigh, letting your eyes flutter shut. “I just did.”

. . .

Cleaning the entire apartment is how you choose to put salve on the wounds of your friendship. You scrub away at the grime on the countertops, wipe the grease and stains from every mirror, and mop the floor until you can see your reflection in it. It’s not much, but it’s something to distract you from the red hot feeling that blooms in your chest when you think about the night before.

Bits of yourself seeped through the locked cage of your heart last night. And now that they’re out in the open, you’re not sure if they will ever return to you.

Euijoo returns home from work with a sigh, loosening his tie right when he comes through the doorway. The skin underneath his eyes has taken on a purplish hue, fine lines settling deep from exhaustion. He doesn’t even look like himself, despite looking everything like himself. You hate how you think he looks beautiful.

“Hey,” he greets softly when he strolls into the kitchen. “I didn’t have time to pick anything up, so I ordered delivery.”

You nod once, before tuning into the fact that the man has yet to look at you. “That’s fine.”

The silence that overcomes the kitchen hangs low like nimbostratus clouds, heavy with rainwater. It’s almost oppressive, the way Euijoo’s gaze remains down at his feet while you pick at your cuticles. Never in your decades of friendship have you ever had tension like this. You hate the way it makes your throat constrict, suddenly parched for a connection that won’t come.

“Are you okay?” You manage to croak out. “You look…stressed.”

Euijoo lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “Maybe because I am.”

“Why?”

Finally, Euijoo’s gaze snaps up to meet your own, eyes holding a sense of disbelief. “My best friend propositioned me last night and I turned her down. And when I turned her down, she lost it on me.”

“Juju, I—,”

“No,” he interrupts, voice scratchy from the thickness in his throat. “Don’t do that now. I’m just…what’s going on with you, Y/N? I don’t know what has changed, but it’s killing me. Why can’t you just tell me what’s been going on with you so I can help?”

Your eyes begin to sting as Euijoo speaks, the beginnings of tears welling up near your waterline. It takes a few seconds for you to swallow down the lump that sits high in your throat. Your hands are dry from various cleaning solutions as they flex and contract at your sides, looking for something to grasp onto. You just end up balling them into fists, letting your nails press grounding pains into your palms.

“I told you how much you’ve already helped me.”

Euijoo sighs, running a hand through his hair. “And I told you that wasn’t enough. So talk to me, tell me why I can’t help you anymore. Tell me why you asked me to sleep with you all of a sudden! Tell me why you’ve been so weird about this whole situation from the beginning!”

“Because I need you!”

You don't know when your voice gained enough power to come out as a yell, shrill and pained. But once it does, the dam breaks. You know you are helpless to stop it.

“I need you, and it scares me, Juju. You’re my best friend and I love you and need you in ways that you don’t need me. You provide me with everything and I’m just here as your best friend. I’m the friend you don’t even bring around much and the friend you don’t let anyone talk to! You make it so clear that you don’t need me and yet, here I am, living off you like some parasite.

“I love you, Euijoo. I’m in love with you. And knowing that you don’t love me back is one thing. But for you to take my love for you and throw it in my face as just another one of my vulnerabilities is cruel. You ask why I don’t let you in, and this is why. If I do, I’ll just tell you how I feel and you’ll pity me like you do now.”

Lightning strikes across Euijoo’s face as he listens, expression slowly twisting in pain. It’s a flash of a million emotions at once. Surprise, hurt, disbelief, and then it all mellows out into a calm nothingness.

“Have you only felt this way since the fire?”

You fight the urge to scream at the top of your lungs. “No. I’ve felt this way since forever, maybe.”

“Are you sure?” The man’s eyes reflect the light in the room, glossed over and twinkling with the first hints of unshed tears.

“You know what’s funny,” you bite out. “When I lost everything, there was only one thing that remained constant in my life, even through the fire.”

“Me?”

“My feelings for you.”

Euijoo sucks in an audible breath, shaky and laborious. It’s as if the confession finally sunk into his consciousness, as if he finally understood exactly what you meant when you said you loved him. His shoulders immediately sag in relief as the first few tears begin to trail down his cheeks. Despite the tears, he can’t help but smile.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since we were eleven.”

“What?”

Euijoo just chuckles, sniffling twice before continuing. “I thought that you knew and that’s why you were shutting me out! And then when you just asked if I would sleep with you, I thought you were just rubbing it in my face. Either that or you were just emotionally a mess and needed some support.”

“Well, I am,” you respond with a watery smile. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, too.”

Euijoo slowly approaches your tense figure, as if not to spook you. Even his hand movements are subtle as they reach for your dry hands. With just a small tug, you find yourself stumbling forward, far into Euijoo’s space. The height difference is enough to force you to crane your neck upwards to make eye contact, not surprised to see the man already smiling down at you.

Tears continue to stream down Euijoo’s face, the wetness dripping from the tip of his nose down to the floor. You know you probably look similar, despite having tried your hardest to fight back tears from the beginning. It’s no use now. Your walls have already come crashing down.

“I love you,” Euijoo whispers, as if sharing a secret not meant to escape your own personal bubble. “I always have, and I think I always will.”

You release a shaky breath, body trembling in Euijoo’s hold. “I love you, too.”

“Can I…?” Euijoo doesn’t finish his question, eyes simply darting down to your lips before meeting your gaze once again.

All it takes is a slow nod before a hand is wrapping around your waist, pulling you in closer and closer until—

When you were twelve, you had your first kiss. It was nothing more than a simple peck, shared on the back of the school bus on a school field trip. You remember the way your heart fluttered back then, palms clammy and body vibrating with nerves. You felt kind of gross afterwards, but giddy nonetheless.

When you told Euijoo later that day, he looked shocked. He floundered for a moment as he stood in place, frozen on their walk home from school. You remember lightly punching his shoulder, asking him what his deal was. It seemed to be enough to shock him out of his stupor, only snapping back to attention to say:

“That was your first kiss. They always say that’s the one you’re going to remember forever.”

Euijoo was wrong. If there’s one kiss that you will remember forever, it’s this one, with Euijoo’s large hands spanning the circumference of your waist. It’s this one, with Euijoo’s plush yet slightly chapped lips grazing yours. It’s this one, with the salt of tears mixing in with the taste of each others’ mouths. It’s this one, with Euijoo.

When the two of you part, Euijoo presses his forehead to yours, allowing your breaths to mingle as you pant. You can’t seem to quite open your eyes yet, simply basking in the sensation of Euijoo taking over all of your senses. You relish in the sound of his labored breathing. You love the warmth of his palms through the thin t-shirt you’re wearing.

You bask in the scent of him, the bold aroma of cinnamon, tinged with a hint of smoke.

[invis-o-william]

Day 7: Mind Control

With a start, Tucker woke up, the memory of sand and pyramids fresh in his mind. After looking around his darkened room for a moment, he sighed and settled back into his pillow.

Ever since his encounter with the staff of Duul Aman, he kept having odd dreams. Of Egypt, ancient temples, and strange foreign words he could almost decipher but kept escaping his grasp.

Turning, Tucker looked at his bedside clock. It was 3:35 A.M. and there was no way he would be able to fall asleep again after his dream. He knew from experience that if he did the dreams would only grow in intensity. So instead he flicked on the light and grabbed his PDA from its stand.

He opened its journal app, and after tapping for a new entry began typing out what he could remember from his dream. It wasn’t much this time; a river boat on the Nile, an image of the Great Pyramids, and a few odd hieroglyphs, but nevertheless he recorded all he could. The journal was full of these dream entries. Sometimes Tucker could manage to decipher the hieroglyphs he saw in his dreams, but most of the time there were too few to gain any real meaning from them.

From what he could learn though, most of them were from spells. Spells reserved for only the highest priests to perform, often in secret. Spells that Tucker couldn’t help but wonder if he could use. He had used ancient Egyptian magic before hadn’t he? While it had been when his mind was in the grips of Duul Aman, it was still his body, his abilities. But he was still nervous to try. To do so would mean using the staff, letting its power course through him again, and Tucker wasn’t sure he could handle it.

He had long accepted that he was somehow the reincarnation of Duul Aman, living once more in the modern age. While that was true though, he also wasn’t Duul Aman anymore. He wasn’t a tyrant bent on power and immortality through any means, and he valued his family and friends more than anything else. What bothered him though was that version of himself still existed, at least within the staff.

Whenever he held it, it was hard not to lose his mind to the power that it contained. The staff would so easily overtake him and make him into the man he didn’t ever want to be that he was nervous to go near it.

If these dreams kept up though, he might just have to try. They were growing in frequency and intensity and Tucker desperately wanted to understand what they meant. Mulling it over in his mind, he sent a text out in his group chat with Danny and Sam which was appropriately titled “Boo Buddies” before beginning his research on the hieroglyphs from this night's dream.

. . .

The next morning at school he ran into Sam first, which was typical. Danny usually either ran into a minor ghost on the way to school, or was otherwise held up by his parents’ insane inventions.

“What did you mean by past life dreams Tuck? And in the middle of the night?” she asked straight to the point. Tucker sighed, he had been hoping she would at least wait for Danny to get there.

“Well, it's Duul Aman. Ever since the whole staff thing I keep getting dreams about him, and I want to try something." He kept his wording intentionally vague, half worried about her response and half worried about getting to class on time. “I’ll tell both you guys more about it at lunch, we should get to class.”

Sam narrowed her eyes at him, but followed to homeroom regardless as she saw Danny rounding the corner.

. . .

“You want to try what?!” Danny’s yell was swallowed by the cacophony of sound produced by the cafeteria.

“Keep it down will ya?” Tucker hushed him, “It’s not that big of a deal!”

Danny ran a hand through his hair, “Not a big deal? Tucker we’re talking about messing with Duul Aman’s powers. You know, the guy who kinda turned you into a megalomaniac for a bit? I’d say that’s pretty big.”

Sam shrugged, “I don’t know, I think it might be worth a shot.”

Tucker huffed a laugh. Of course, leave it to the goth to be interested in spells.

“But what if he takes over Tucker’s mind again and goes all Pharaoh-ey!” Danny said, waving his hand in a mimicry of Tucker using the staff.

“That’s why you guys will be staying with me.” Tucker swallowed, “Just in case I can’t fight it off, I want you guys to knock me out before I start going nuts.”

Danny looked at Sam for help, but she shut him down.

“You know if we don’t help he’ll just end up trying it by himself.” she said, and Danny couldn’t help but agree that she had a point there.

“Fine,” he sighed, “but I still think this is a bad idea.”

. . .

They met that night in Jackson Park by the treeline, Sam and Tucker on foot and Danny in ghost form with the staff. Ever since the Duul Aman incident he had kept it stored in the Ghost Zone with Pandora since she seemed the type to know how to care for ancient cursed artifacts.

“Ok,” said Tucker, rubbing his hands together nervously. “Did you bring a book Sam?”

Sam replied by pulling out a black leather-bound journal from her coat.

“Good, good. Ok so now I just need…the staff.” he looked hesitantly at the scarab topped staff in Danny’s hand.

“Uh, what spells exactly are you going to try? Just in case something goes wrong.” Danny asked, well aware of how the staff thrummed with power when Tucker looked at it.

“Right, um well, first I’m going to try a book protection spell that I found. I figure that should be pretty safe. And then, uh, there’s this one spell that’s for ‘opening up the west’. I think that one is to make a temporary portal to the afterlife, so like, it'll lead to the Ghost Zone? At least that’s if I read everything right.” Tucker’s nerves were really starting to get to him, but he had to try to do this and see if he was right. See if he could actually do it.

“I figure if I can make a portal then I could use it to help you when you’re fighting ghosts?” he asked.

Danny considered this for a moment. “The first one, yeah I can understand. The Ghost Zone though? I don’t know, there’s a lot of things that could go wrong there.”

“Which is why you’re here just in case!” Tucker said with as confident a smile he could muster. “Just, let’s try the first one and go from there.” he reached his hand out for the staff which Danny reluctantly handed over.

As soon as it was in his hand Tucker felt a wave of energy wash over him. That was okay though, he was prepared for it this time. Pushing back mentally against the power he cleared his mind and reached for his PDA. “See, I’m alright. Now Sam, we should probably have the book on the ground. Just in case.”

Sam nodded, “Right. Be careful with it, that’s my favorite copy of Dracula.” and laid the book carefully on the grass.

Tucker breathed deeply, feeling the staff’s power flow through him, pulled up the ancient text from his phone, and began reciting the words.

As he read, Danny and Sam exchanged a look. Tucker’s eyes had begun to glow golden but neither wanted to break his concentration by noting it aloud. Soon though that disappeared as he finished the incantation.

“Ok then,” Tucker said shakily, “that was manageable. Also, I think it worked. Danny, you should try and open it.”

Danny nodded and bent down to pick up the book. It seemed normal to him, however when he went to open it the thing felt like it had been glued shut. Raising his eyebrows he handed it over to Sam who was able to easily open the cover.

Tucker smiled, “Cool right, now only Sam should be able to actually open it!”

Danny had to agree that it was pretty impressive, and something he might think about using for his journal of ghost attacks as well. While he had hidden it in his wall for safekeeping from his parents he still wanted some extra security, just in case.

“Do you think you’re okay to try the next one? It’s okay if you need a break.” Sam said, both awe and concern evident in her voice.

Tucker thought about it for a moment. While it was exhausting trying to hold the power back from overwhelming him, he also couldn’t resist seeing what else he could do with this power. “I’m going to give the portal a try.” he said, and before Danny could protest he began the incantation.

Danny was more apprehensive about this spell. The book one was cool and pretty useful, but conjuring a portal to the Ghost Zone? That seemed like a huge leap forward for Tucker. But he wanted to be a good friend and trust in his abilities, so he watched as his friend started the next spell.

Tucker felt confident. He could do this, the first spell was a success and he was sure this one would be as well. As he spoke the ancient words he felt the power emanating from the staff increase, and as it washed over him he felt his mind slip to the power of Duul Aman.

Well, at least he had his friends there to stop him from creating another sphinx.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~