#and I feel like I really came out of this exercise stronger

[amlovelies]

OC-TOBER 2022 Masterlist

a masterlist of the art I made for oc-tober 2022

Anielle Trevelyan

Kyra Arres

Jay Nordsen

Bernie Wiseman

Ostara Hawke

Denek Besha

Curtis Becker

Aiden Kalesko

Romi Brown

Minka Brosca

Kira Kingston

Gerlari Whitpik

ornella of harvest's bounty

corinna hawke

niyaz tayran

jessie davis

juno

sozan xanî

aemilia hawke

lauren lin

bethany blake

hinigo lanas

saca'ryl

ysandre cousland

vesper bui

ionna mahariel

pen hansley

yenena adaar

ikusmen juvic

pai bimmal

jytte shepard

[otaku553]

Straw hat women redesigns :) I was trying to doodle some of the crew and came to the realization that I just Could Not with Nami so I wanted to play around with it a little bit

Some more design notes below:

Nami’s design actually went a lot smoother for me than Robin’s! I think canon post timeskip Nami is a very low bar. While you can argue that to some extent Nami being vain and seductive is part of her character, I do feel that there are many more integral parts of her character that can be highlighted in her design, namely map making and her combat. Though not one of the stronger straw hats, Nami does seem to be well practiced with her staff outside of its use for weather manipulation, and I think her being a physical combatant, even slightly, can be better reflected with more loose clothing for better mobility.

For her mapmaking, I wanted her to have constant easy access to her tools and to information about the locale, so around her waist she has one large pouch at the back for books and scrolls and maps in progress and one small pouch to the side for writing utensils and measurement tools. As backup she also has 2 pens in her bun, which also act as pins for keeping her hair up if she ever needs to move a lot.

I’m not sure how clearly it shows up in the notes, but Nami’s shoe soles are also made from whatever artificial cloud material makes up the weather island she stayed on during the timeskip, so that it both pads her steps to make them soundless and bounces for better mobility. The shoes are naturally shaped like heels but without the actual heel, since she tends to move around on tiptoes anyways- a nod to her epithet as cat burglar and her past as a thief.

I made her shoulders a bit broader because I think they probably get a lot of exercise with her staff, and changed out the bikini top for a more supportive chest wrap, with a loose tank over it for breathability. The compression socks and sleeve are more stylistic than anything, since I like layers, but they might come in handy for her if she spends extended amounts of time sitting down making maps for the crew.

Robin’s was a bit more difficult for me to figure out, and I might go back and revisit it at some point. For Nami, it was a bit easier to imagine what would pair well with her combat methods and her needs as a mapmaker, but with Robin, she’s an academic who fights almost completely hands off, without a specific weapon to her name. Because her strength lies mostly in her devil fruit, she has a bit more room for style over functionality, but I also still wanted her to have something that made sense with what she was. I don’t really think I succeeded in that regard, but it’s also hard to convey what she does visually— she’s more of like a professor than a field archaeologist I think.

I really really enjoy her cowboy hat but I didn’t think it would match with the rest of the outfit so I switched it out for a wider brimmed hat and kept the orange sunglasses on it, as a nod to the revolutionaries with the combination of headwear and eyewear. She deserves a trench coat. I don’t make the rules. And the rest of the fit mostly came down to things I think I would enjoy wearing, haha

The trench coat is partially a nod to the scholars of ohara, who seem to wear white coats like lab coats in some screenshots of robin’s backstory. I think also the reading glasses help to make her seem a bit more academic, but aren’t prominent enough to leave a strong impression. All in all I do wish robin’s design had more functionality in it but I also think that robin is a character who probably enjoys dressing up nicely like this, especially in the comfort and stability of the straw hats.

[vikkirosko]

Hi! I really love your work. Like man you have me kicking my feet like I'm 12 again.

Anyway to the point, I was wondering if I could request a Cubby Reader with insecurities and how each chatcter would handle that. (Lucifer, Vox, Asmodeus + Fizzi, Emily and any other you might want to inculde) It's my first time ever requesting something, I hope I did it right.

Thanks you so much, and again I really love your fics.

Headcanons Self-doubt

🖥 Vox x Reader 📱

You have worked for Vox for a long time and often you have worked with him, as well as with Velvette and Valentino. Despite this, you were quite insecure in yourself and because of this you had problems. Vox knew you better than the others, because you were dating, and he knew what you could really be in a comfortable company, and therefore he helped you feel more confident

Vox often rebuked his friends when they said rude things about you, covering it up with a joke. He knew that you could take their words to heart and he wouldn't be surprised if that was their goal. That's why he acted as your protector, knowing that you needed help sometimes

He saw how confident you were when you were alone. You were open and confident when you spent time together. He tried to help you behave as confidently with the others as when you were alone, but so far you haven't had much success

Vox knew that he couldn't be with you all the time, so he tried to help you become more confident and be able to defend your views. You were in Hell, which meant that you needed fortitude and self-confidence if you didn't want everyone to take advantage of your insecurity

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍

Lucifer and you met at the hotel. He saw that you were uncomfortable talking to him and he thought that the reason for this was that you were afraid of him. However, everything turned out to be wrong. From his daughter, he learned that you were quite insecure and because of this it was difficult for you to communicate with strangers. That's why you were so nervous when you talked to him

Watching you, Lucifer realized that you were a really good person. He saw how you sincerely smiled at your friends and helped them. Charlie and Vaggie cheered you up, which made your self-confidence grow. He tried to get along with you at the request of his daughter, and the more you talked, the more open and confident you became. You were changing right before his eyes and he liked to see you confident in yourself

Lucifer has started to help you become more confident. He praised your work, supported you and reminded you how wonderful you were. He wanted you to see yourself the way he saw you and realize that even if someone says bad things about you, they weren't right

The King of Hell knew well what it was like to lose self-confidence. He remembered how he felt when his dreams crumbled to dust. Lucifer didn't want you to go through this, so he tried to help you become more confident. He was sure that through the joint efforts of you and your friends, your confidence could become stronger

👁 Emily x Reader ✨️

Emily did a lot for others. She sincerely wanted to make others happy, including you. You were one of the people closest to her and she truly cherished you. You were kind, attentive and caring, but you were insecure, which caused difficulties in your life

Emily knew you had a lot of potential. You could do a lot of things and you had wonderful talents, but you doubted it. At such moments, Emily would vividly remind you that you were really wonderful and that you were talented. She was ready to shout about it to convince you of it and protect you if someone said something bad about you

Emily helped you become more confident in yourself. She came up with different exercises that you did together so that you would believe in yourself and your strength. Most of the time, these were verbal exercises, but they were also important so that you would doubt yourself less. Seeing how every day you become more confident in yourself, she couldn't help but rejoice

Emily sincerely cherished you and wanted you to be happy. She was trying to help you. Emily wanted to see how you courageously communicated with others, how you defended your opinion and were not shy about sharing your ideas. She knew that it was still a long way off, but she intended to continue to help you

🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus 💕

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus knew that you were insecure. You were cozy and caring, but because of your self-doubt, you couldn't be as brave as Fizzarolli and even more so Asmodeus. That's why they tried to be there for you to remind you how wonderful you were

You and Fizz often spent time together. He was preparing for the performance and you were cheering him on. At such moments, he returned compliments to you. When Ozzie had free time, he would join you and help Fizz make you think better of yourself. Asmodeus saw that it made your life difficult, so he supported Fizz when he tried to help you become more confident in yourself

They both knew that you had many wonderful qualities, but you didn't seem to notice it. You tried to fight your self-doubt and were grateful to them for trying so hard to help you. You really appreciated it

You cherished Fizz and Ozzie and their support. They were the most important people to you and you really became more confident around them. You were ready to move mountains for them. To support and protect them, you were ready to become much more confident in yourself

[yourheart-inmyhands]

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH IF YOU DIDNT NOTICED I WAS ONE OF YOUR FOLLOWERS WHO LIKE YOUR POSTS THE EARLIEST ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT AND AMAZING DAY I HOPE YOU FEEL HAPPY AND JOYFULL! STAY SAFE :DDDD

Oh and btw i love love LOVED the last post you made :3 wasnt able to like it early since i was at school but can i please req a Zoro reader with a yan Yelan , Beidou , Alhaitham (all hail the ham XD) and Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name😒🙄) ANYWAYS PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME REMEMBER TO EAT REST AND DRINK WATER <<<333

Plus points if reader is in luffys pirate crew , has 3 swords and stronger than Beidou and Yelan 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

YOUR THE BEST POOKS EHEHHEHEHE<<<<333 :D :3

(stan chuu 🥰🥰🥰😱😱😱)

LOVE YOU POOKS 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍

i didn't wanna answer this one cause it's so cute and i wanted to keep it in my inbox foreverrrrr but i really appreciate the compliments ;v; <33 also i won't lie, Zoro is not one of my favorites from One Piece (i like greasy/deranged men) but i love his character, i was also binging some episodes while writing this and also this is pre-timeskip zoro cause that's where i'm at currently and brainrot be real but i hope you enjoy :D <3

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, mentions of violence, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Yelan would be stressed out, not only do you wield three swords and seem to always get yourself in trouble, but you’re always getting lost. She’s at least glad that you can take care of yourself if the need arises but your obsession with being Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman is a little out of control. She prefers that you don’t go out without her because she knows you’ll get lost, but if you should otherwise she’ll be sure to send out someone to follow you, keeping her informed of your location and every move.

Yelan smiled to herself as you trained in the backyard. While your bizarre workout routine often had her a bit worried, she admired your dedication to her work. There was a lot about you she loved, but your dedication to your goals was what drew her in, reminding her of herself sometimes. She had to keep you on a tight leash though, your lack of direction often leaving you in places you shouldn’t end up in. She never minded though, it was just another of your adorable quirks, something she found keeping her on her toes. Yelan loved you and all your strange, unique quirks. 

Yandere!Beidou would find you very admirable, chasing so strongly after your ambitions as she had. While killing a Leviathan and becoming Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman are two different life goals, she thinks you're an amazing individual for chasing your dreams so wholeheartedly.

Beidou smiled down at you from the top deck, watching as you polished your blades. While she didn’t understand the need for three swords, she knew you enjoyed it and so she never questioned it. She was grateful you didn’t put up a fight when it came to traveling on the Crux with her, not that you ever seemed to know where they were headed. It just made it easier for her to keep an eye on you, with your habit of wandering off and getting lost just to end up in a fight that she later patches you up from. She loved you and all your quirks but sometimes she wondered how you came to be this way, it wasn’t something you seemed keen to talk about.

Yandere!Alhaitham would find a beloved like this both a blessing and a curse. He loves your passion for swordfighting, often fighting with you for a bit of practice. While you certainly outmatch him with just one sword alone, he uses his intellect to spar with you, learning your moves and putting you into positions where you have to adapt and overcome. He finds the exercise to be an enjoyable break from his work, allowing him to keep his physical skills as sharp as his mental ones. He refuses to let you go anywhere by himself though, worried you’ll get lost and run into trouble, again.

Alhaitham smirked as he blocked another attack from you, having memorized every attack you’ve ever used against him. It was times like this that he enjoyed most with you, a proper challenge between brains and brawn. While your workout routine was intense, his mind was equally as polished, leaving the duels between the two of you relatively intense. On afternoons where you weren’t dueling, it was common to go into town, with Alhaitham usually picking up books or other things at stores while dragging you along with him. Even if he knew you were going to nap the whole time he was gone, he still didn’t trust you to not fight something or get lost while he was gone. So instead he took you to every store with him, keeping a tight watch over you and oftentimes tying a ribbon gently around your wrists that connected to his belt.

Yandere!Neuvillette has no choice but to keep you locked up inside while he’s gone simply because he knows otherwise you’ll get lost and he’ll be seeing you in the courtroom for yet another fight you got into. He doesn’t mind it though, knowing that at home you only do a few things, train, polish your swords, and nap. And while he admires your dream to be Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman, he thinks you should settle for the strength you currently possess and simply stay here in Fontaine with him.

Unlocking the door and stepping in after a long day in court, Neuvillette isn’t surprised to see you napping in the livingroom. He will admit that the first few times he saw you napping, simply sitting on the floor up against a wall with all three swords nearby, he thought it was strange, insisting that you sleep in the bedroom or at least on the couch. Now though, he understands that it’s simply the way you are, quietly approaching and smirking as your eyes flicker open, looking up at the man. “Your senses are as sharp as ever I see.” Neuvillette offers you a hand, gently pulling you to your feet as you stretch, asking about his day. He enjoys the quiet life he has and he prefers to try and force you to comply than let you roam free, after all he’s doing this for the betterment of society. You’re simply too dangerous.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Crown’s S Class Mission - Roger Barel (Part 2)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this.

Kate: Aaah. No…I can’t anymore, Instructor…Roger.

Roger: Keep going…your body can still handle it right?

Kate: Ah… No, not anymore…

Roger: When you think you can’t take it anymore, that’s when it actually starts. Same thing in bed. Come on, 10 more sit ups.

Kate: Why are you talking about doing things in bed? You’re absolutely the worst!

Instructor Oliver: Oh, is something the matter?

Roger: No, Miss Kate wants me to be stricter.

(......Excuse me?)

Roger: 10 more sit ups. Muscle, muscle!

Kate: Muscle…muscle…Ugh…

(It’s no use, if I do a bad job, I’ll look suspicious)

Roger put his lips to my ear as I desperately tried to do sit ups…

Roger: Maybe the ‘S’ in S class mission stands for ‘sadist’?

Kate: …Eh?

Roger: Hey, you stopped. Come on, muscle, muscle!

(D-damn it!)

--

Kate: Haaa…haaa… So…did you find anything?

Roger: Nah, haven’t “heard” anything suspicious yet. I’ll keep an ear out ‘til I get a lead.

Instructor Oliver: Roger, a moment!

Roger: Yeah, I’m coming over.

Roger: Keep digging. Stay on guard, Kate.

With a nod, Roger went to where Instructor Oliver called him.

(I’m thirsty. I’ll get  a glass of water)

Kate:Huh, where’s the drinking fountain…?

Blonde lady: Excuse me, I can show you where it is.

I turned toward the voice and saw a dignified lady smiling at me.

After being shown where the fountain was, the rigorous training continued— 

--

I snuck outside.

(No one will come out here, right? I’ll just take a short break and then head back in)

Maybe it was because I’m not used to doing hard exercises, but my knees were about to give out.

???: Who’s this student skipping class?

Kate: Eek! I’m sorry! I won’t slack off anymore!

Roger: Haha. Dummy, it’s me.

Kate: Roger… Geez, don’t scare me like that!

Roger: Sorry, sorry. I’ll give you something nice as an apology, so open your mouth. Say ‘aah’.

Kate: Huh, mmm. It’s sweet… Is it chocolate?

Roger: You look like a sad puppy.

(You were strict with me, and now you’re spoiling me…)

Perhaps Roger often tames using a carrot and stick.

That’s really, really annoying…

Kate: Oh yeah, I made a friend just then. Her name’s Emilia Winslow. She told me that her dream’s to go into politics.

Roger: That’s an insane dream when you know women don’t have the right to vote.

Kate: Yeah…She mentioned that. She wanted to get out of her current situation, but didn’t know how. So she came to the club in desperation. She thought that if she got stronger, she’d be able to change her absurd situation.

Roger: The women who gathered here all want to get stronger and fight.

As his amber eyes looked up to the sky, a question I wanted to ask suddenly popped in my mind.

Kate: Roger, have you ever wanted to get stronger?

Roger: I have. It’s not like I’ve been like this since I was born. When I was a kid, I had my first friend. He was cursed. But because I was weak, I betrayed him in the worst way. I couldn’t protect him.

(This is the first time I’ve heard something about Roger’s past…)

It felt like his eyes, still focused on the sky, wavered for a moment.

Roger: Maybe I’ve always been fighting something?

Seeing that smile on his face, as if he were trying to laugh away the pain, reminded me of what Roger told me that time I fired a gun at someone for the first time.

(At the time, I hated myself for being weak…What Roger said…)

“People who want to get stronger and are able to continue on are really the strong ones.”

When I first met Roger, I thought he was “just a strong guy”.

However, now I can clearly see that he’s someone that “tries to be strong”.

—Suddenly, Roger’s eyes became sharp.

Roger: …

Kate: …Roger?

Roger: Oy…who’s there? I can hear your heartbeat.

Instructor Oliver: …

(What do we do…? If he finds out that Roger and I know each other…)

Instructor Oliver: I’m sorry for eavesdropping… Will you please hear me out?

Somehow Oliver had a feeling that we were different from those that visited the Beauty Muscle Club. 

So he followed us—to ask for help.

Instructor Oliver: In the beginning, I was just an instructor working at the club. But then I uncovered something unthinkable about this place… The owner of the club and master of the estate belongs to the House of Lords. He has an extremely distorted view on women’s empowerment.

Roger: Does this have anything to do with the fact that women who visit here end up ill?

Instructor Oliver: How did you…Just who are you people?

Roger: That doesn’t matter now. Are the women here getting drugged?

Instructor Oliver: Illegal drugs disguised as muscle-enhancement drugs.

Kate: Why…that’s so ridiculous.

Roger: It’s to stop brilliant and strong women from entering the workforce, isn’t it? So stupid. Even though they were tricked into it, they took the enhancement drug. And now the women are afraid to speak out in fear of being accused of taking illegal substances. And so the truth doesn’t come out.

Kate: …Such a cowardly way of operating.

Instructor Oliver: I don’t want to do this. But they threatened to kill me if I ran away.

He looked like a little kid with how he weakly hung his head, face pale.

(We can’t overlook this evil)

Kate: …Roger, I have a request. I—

Roger: Don’t do anything reckless that’ll put yourself in danger, okay?

Kate: Okay!

—Then, Oliver and I went to where the illegal drugs were being sold.

--

The person who welcomed us was a man from the House of Lords, the wonder of the club and estate.

After Oliver introduced me, the man handed me a small bag of medicine with a friendly look on his face. 

(...I got the evidence. All I need to do now is leave)

(But…)

Master of the estate: This will make you stronger and more beautiful. Let us build a better society.

The way he so easily lied filled me with rage.

Kate: …These are illegal drugs.

Instructor Oliver: ?!

As if he caught on, the master of the estate’s eyes turned terribly cold.

And he smiled cooly.

Master of the estate: Britain thriving, but with that, comes women getting louder… Give them the right to vote, give them places to work. Women are inferior creatures to men who are just clever enough to serve.

Kate: So, why would you do such a despicable and foolish thing?

Master of the estate: If I don’t pluck the useless weeds, then who will?

Kate: There are a lot of women trying to get stronger, you know?

Master of the estate: And for what reason, when it’s all in vain? 

(Oh my god…)

I slapped the man before me as hard as I could.

Master of the estate: …You’re a woman! I can have you killed for this you know!

Kate: …

Before I could get the gun from my garter belt, a gunshot rang out and a bullet grazed the man’s cheek.

The window behind the man broke and Roger, with his hunting rifle, bursts into the room.

Roger: Hold up. Not gonna let you kill my cute student. Now then, it’s time for Instructor Roger’s fun and exciting punishment.

*House of Lords is the upper chamber of UK Parliament.

[ztarduzted]

So like the Illymation drama????

vile take I support illy like fully I don’t get the people who don’t rn

So like ok ok don’t get me wrong, illy isn’t like perfect 100% by any means but who is??? That one carrot and chocolate thing she said in her video could have been worded better but cmon, it’s really not that big of a deal, for the most part you out understand what she was saying. The video that TBYS posted wasn’t “criticism” the way that people are trying to say it was. People are trying to play it off as just a normal constructive criticism video, but if your “constructive criticism” includes like two whole minutes of making fun of someone’s appearance for no reason, I’m concerned. Illy’s response was a bit immature, but I understand where she’s coming from. She said not to send hate and to just take down that one video, not his whole platform, because it was damaging her reputation and mental health because TBYS never even tried to make a statement telling people not to harass illy and she got sent hate for it. People are blowing it way out of proportion saying she was trying to “deplatform him” when she just wanted one video taken down because it was causing her to be deplatformed, and she never even talked about it to her actual YouTube audience, just the small community on tumblr, then TBYS made two more hate filled videos and people just kept dog piling on her. If your gonna get mad at someone for “deplatforming” a known homophobe and transphobe, maybe practice what you preach. And alongside that, I know that some sources were shown in TBYS’s original videos, but there were no links in the descriptions, and absolutely nothing in any of the response videos I’ve seen. There was one video I saw just speculating that all of her doctors were dumb and lied to her, and TBYS also said that most doctors that specialize and make money from being good at nutrition were just wrong. Also, that one response video I mentioned tried to claim gym bros were better at health than licensed professionals???????? It just feels like this is all a massive, overblown hate campaign to a creator because of mistakes. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and just making fun of someone, and while some things that TBYS said were understandable, he made a point to straight up make fun of illy in the middle of his video, not even attempt to stop his fans from harassing illy, then when she replied (and barley received any backlash mind you), he blew up making more videos sending more and more hate and trying to ruin illy’s career. I know illy could have clarified that one point in her video and acted more maturely about the situation, but people are entirely overlooking the fact that TBYS was no where near “perfect” in this situation. (Also, final note, yes, you can absolutely be fat and healthy, saying otherwise is just wrong and makes no sense. Do your research before making half hour long videos making fun of someone)

I assume this drama will just die eventually and people will move on, but either way, I’m going to continue watching and supporting Illy no matter what. She’s a fantastic content creator, and when that video first came out (and there wasn’t some dude bro on the internet telling me it was bad) I absolutely loved at and had a great time watching it. It made me feel really good about myself (since I’ve been exercising daily and been working on myself a lot, but I’ve seen little to no weight loss despite eating healthy and going on a calorie deficit and working hard. It turns out I have something up with my thyroid, and along with that, part of it is just genetics.) I’d started feeling really bad and was trying to eat the bare minimum and it was making it harder to work out and I was feeling sick all the time. One day I was staying home because I felt sick, and I watched illy’s video. It’s not like one video is going to fix my relationship with food, but it has helped. I’m still not losing weight, but I’m getting stronger, feeling better, and eating healthier. Despite all this drama, illy’s videos have helped me feel more comfortable being myself and I will continue supporting her. And Illy, if you’re (somehow) seeing this, just know that there are some people that want to see you fail, but there are so so many more people that love you and your content.

[bruh-2004]

XDINARY HEROES REACTION TO: You accidentally "on all fours" towards them

- you are their best friend; - they secretly have a crush on you; - sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my native language.

WARNING: Suggestive, malicious thoughts, inappropriate words.

GUN-IL

SCENARIO: you and gun-il were having a movie and game night together, you decided to start with the games so you were playing twister, movement comes, movement comes, until you had to get into a position that accidentally made you face up to the boy .

- gun-il would be a little embarrassed about the situation, after all, liking you and having a premium view like that is not easy to disguise;

- he would soon decide to flirt with you to forget his shyness "I think this game is insinuating that we should do something y/n";

- you would both laugh about it as a joke, but deep down you would both really want to do this "something" together.

JOOYEON

SCENARIO: you were in Jooyeon's room choosing games to play on the video game, none of the games interested you and then Jooyeon asked you to get the last box of games from the bottom of the dresser, you, intending to fulfill his request, ended up "on all fours" " to catch.

- jooyeon wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you, he would try really hard, but he would be stronger than him;

- he's not stupid or anything, and he feels that you like him too, jooyeon realized that his arm couldn't reach so he was "kind" to stretch over you, reaching for the box;

- you two looked at each other, you were a little confused but feeling butterflies in your stomach, the boy smiled at you and said as if it had been an innocent act "I realized you needed help".

JUNHAN

SCENARIO: Junhan was trying to teach you how to play the guitar, you were on the sofa in the living room, your hands were sore so the boy asked you to pick up the pick that was on the coffee table, so you did, but instead of getting up and going you just put one foot on the floor and stretched out on the table, so you ended up leaning towards Junhan.

- poor Junhan, the little animal would freeze, his eyes would open wide and he would start to sweat cold (and no, that wouldn't be an exaggeration);

- he would try to ignore it and look in other directions but would fail miserably;

- you ended up realizing the situation and laughed, you sat back down on the sofa and said to tease the boy "what's wrong Junhan? did you like the view?", he would try to respond but he would start to stutter, again you would tease "did you imagine something? like ... me on all fours for you?", that's it, then the boy almost passed out.

JUNGSU

SCENARIO: it was a Saturday, you and Jungsu live together and were each doing something, you were in the living room doing some physical exercises while he was in his room playing the keyboard. After you finished the exercises, you prepared a snack to take to the boy, so you did. When you got there he smiled at you and thanked you for the snack, he took it with one hand and with the other he handed you some sheet music asking you to put it in his drawer, you went to do it but ended up standing up because you hadn't squatted down.

- he would be red at first, a little shy;

- but I see Jungsu as someone who can be shameless at the same time, seeing you prancing around for him in that gym outfit activated his perverted side;

- when you came back to him he would make you sit sideways on his lap leaving you confused, he would say "should I confess to you while I put you on all fours for me?".

O.DE

SCENARIO: you and seungmin were at the gym at his house (we have a rich boy here), you were taking a break from exercising while he was still doing it. At one point, the boy called you and asked you to get a bottle of water for him from the minibar. When you did that, instead of crouching down and picking it up, you just reached down, standing straight up towards him.

- o.de would analyze you from top to bottom, finally understanding 100% why he fell in love with you, in his head he would be saying "in addition to being beautiful and a great person, you're still hot like that";

- when you went to hand him the bottle you would notice that his look was different, he got up and picked up the bottle, placing it where he was sitting, he would approach you smiling and leaving you a little confused, but with your heart racing;

- he would say "you know y/n, looking at you now I understand why I fell in love with you", your heart would almost come out of your mouth, he would laugh at your reaction and pull you closer to him by the waist, he would continue saying "you're beautiful, nice and have a perfect body... seeing you standing up made me want to put you on all fours", you would blink your eyes a few times hearing him laugh again and walk away as if nothing had happened.

GAON

SCENARIO: you were dusting the living room, the boys all live with you but had gone somewhere except jiseok who had a bad throat. You were dusting the dresser, at the bottom and as a result you ended up in a rather dubious position, Gaon arrived in the room and ended up seeing you prancing around without you noticing his presence.

- the boy would bite his lip and immediately a thousand things would go through his mind (gaon totally gives me a polluted mind vibe);

- he would sit on the sofa and say "you look very seductive in that position", making you jump in fright;

- Jiseok would laugh and go to you, crouching down in front of you, you would look at each other deeply and he would put a hand on your face saying "if you continue in that position I will feel obligated to tell you that I want to put you on all fours for me" .

[andivmg]

another feelings post

sorry in advance for how long it is

had a therapy appointment yesterday and i bawled my eyes out the entire time just feeling angry and sad and confused with myself. because of this whole conversation around abuse and toxic relationships, i’ve been feeling all kinds of weird recently and talked about it with her and i wanted to share some of the things we said in case anybody needs to hear it

so i’ve been really beating myself up over the fact that i’m still upset at things that happened over two years ago and i was feeling really confused as to why. my life has improved infinitely since then, i no longer have any of these people in my life. i am so much happier. so why am i still so angry? why can’t i seem to let go? i was feeling like a little kid, one of the things i said was quote “it’s just not fair! we were together for only a year! how is it fair that it’s taken me two years and counting to get over shit he did in half the time? why does he get to be fine while i’m still in therapy fixing what he broke? like what is wrong with me? why can’t i just let go of shit that happened so long ago? why did i even have to go through that in the first place? it’s just not fair!”

clearly, i was unwell. but yeah i was feeling really angry at myself and as we kept talking we came to the conclusion that it’s okay to be angry. because it’s true. it’s not fair. that’s what happens with abuse, it ends up falling on the person who was on the receiving end of it to pick up the pieces while the perpetrator doesn’t think they did anything wrong in the first place. that is just an unfortunate fact of life. so how do you move on knowing that? you’re just supposed to be okay with it? no. again, it’s okay to be angry and to cry and be upset about it because you’re feeling your emotions and letting it all out. it’s perfectly normal to be upset about what you went through. it does not mean you are still hung up on the person or that you haven’t moved on. it just means that person was really shitty to you and you’re angry about it. it’s okay to be upset. we are human, we are not above feeling any emotion. as long as you are not taking those feelings out on people who love and care about you and want the best for you, be upset. scream into your pillow, cry, break shit (preferably in a rage room). if it’s what you have to do to release that anger, do that. it’s okay.

now then, why do we have to go through that pain in the first place? because it’s part of being human. ik that’s not what anybody wants to hear. it sucks. what do you mean that’s just a part of being human? that’s so unfair. true. it’s not. however, it being a part of life doesn’t make it okay for the other person to have treated you like they did. that does not justify what they said and did. but, what we choose to do afterwards is what defines us, and what will become of us.

the analogy we used was this:

it’s like going to the gym. when you work out, you create microtears in your muscles, that’s why you’re so sore the next day. but when those muscles heal, they become bigger, stronger. and when you do that exercise again, it doesn’t hurt as much and you can handle more. but, if you say “fuck this i’m not going to the gym again because i’m sore the next day and it hurts” then your muscles will become weak again and you’re right back to where you started.

like i said before, it sucks that the responsibility of moving on and becoming stronger or a better person falls onto us. but you still have to face that shit. you have to truly come to terms with the fact that you were emotionally or physically abused and decide what you will do about it now. will you accept this behavior going forward from them or anyone else? how will you react if someone tries to do the same thing this person did? will you fall back into the victim pattern or will you gather your strength to never let this happen to you again?

clearly, this process takes a really long time. it could take, years, months, even decades in some cases. and it’s hard. it’s so difficult to be strong. it is an active choice we have to make every day. and it’s okay if you’re not feeling strong some days. it’s okay to have moments of weakness. but those moments of weakness cannot overshadow all the strength it has taken to come as far as you have. sometimes it will feel like you’re going backwards, but you are not. healing is not linear and that is okay.

much love to anyone who read this whole thing. if even one person reads this and feels understood, then this post has served its purpose.

[hajihiko]

little survivor remnant talkies down below

I like how Sonia came out. She really leans into the Ruler aspect of herself, wearing a complicated (and painful) crown and wearing her hair elaborately, regal and uncomfortable clothes, etc. What is a monarchy but the belief that some people are born higher than others, and isn't that bordering on idolatry and religion? She presents herself as a benevolent, kind, almost holy figure who knows best and who should be obeyed, not just out of fear, but blind belief.

FLIPSIDE: she wears much more minimalist clothing and hair, refuses to think of herself as above anyone and demands to take part in manual work just like anyone else might. She's part strategist, part heavy artillery, and uses her naturally royal nature to elevate others.

Fuyuhiko might not feel too different, but anyone who knew him would be able to tell. All the fiery anger and emotion is gone, and he's just kind of mellowly apathetic, killing people not out of fury but just as a chore. Rarely remotes anything beyond vague amusement or annoyance, kills his own people on a whim, and orders Peko around like a dog. Rumour has it whatever spark he had left died alongside Junko and both eyes are equally (literally, metaphorically) dead.

FLIPSIDE: While less chaotic than most of his friends, hes undeniably passionate and intense in almost everything he does and has become one of the best caretakers of the group. He's mostly a strategist/support player and while he *IS* ruthless towards enemies, he's lso become adept at finding the path with least casualties for both sides.

Kazuichi is a messy, run-down mess of a man who hasnt showered in a week and creates deadly machines in like, a frenzied and obsessed manner. He can turn every harmless thing into something destructive, but often lacks the confidence to do anything but plan it. Completely dependent on other people ordering him around (seems to take comfort in it maybe). All his piercings were done and decided by someone else. Hes convinced hes a complete woe-is-me genius. Real hyena vibes.

FLIPSIDE: makes a point to improve the world with his machines and is 100% dedicated to that goal, no matter what anyone says. Yeah sometimes it goes a bit far and he needs to be reminded to take care of himself, but he's made a decision to be more brave and decisive and trusts people to let him know when he's off-base.

Akane is sorta complicated to me because her biggest lore point was probably pretty late in her despair era. Before Junko's death, she went around fighting whoever and whenever and would compete with Nekomaru to see who could down more people in a certain amount of time. Post-Junko death, she stops eating, stops exercising, and pretty much wastes away. Nekomaru's chains that were meant to make her stronger now weigh her down and remind her how she's never actually going to be strong enough.

FLIPSIDE: once she gets her body mass back, she has had enough time to figure herself out and realize that true strength isnt just sick abs. But that's okay, because she had a strength of mind and soul all along, too. She no longer feels the need to prove her strength (still loves fighting tho!) but leans into her own agility and speed, comfortably depending on heavier hitters do be the damage dealers for her. Still carefree, but this time it's not just ignoring the problems but having come to terms with them.

[thatwasntverycashmoneyofme]

𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗌𝖾

❥𝗌𝗇𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗍 : 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝗋𝗂 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 (𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍)

{ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖼𝗈𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗄𝗂𝗋𝗂, 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗃𝗈𝖻, 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍𝗅𝗒 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗄𝗂𝗋𝗂 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 (𝗉𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾), 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗎𝖻!𝗄𝗂𝗋𝗂, 𝖼𝗎𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀. }

   Kirishima is so rough but it's not on purpose at all, trust him. he can't help but be a little bit bigger than you, that's his design, he exercised for that muscular yet chubby body that he has

   And he was always taller than you (ᴍᴏꜱᴛʟʏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ) but that's just his design, and when he started working out he was already a little stronger than the average lifter and that strength grew as he did

   Now it was no surprise when you came face to face with the monster that rested between his legs, you shouldn't have been shocked really

   You assumed that big beefy guys like Kirishima bulked up as a form of overcompensation, but because you were thinking with five of your smartest brain cells it's obvious that you lacked sense

   Kirishima isn't like those other gym heads. he's kinder, funnier, and barely tells +18 rated jokes. so when you wanted to please him after he took you on a fifth date, you should have realized. it's your fault really

   Currently you were in a hotel sitting upright on your knees in between the botched redhead's legs, his robe now opened, a semi hard monster staring you in the face

   You prayed: to your homegirls, a bottle of throat spray, and your honey lemon tea because you wasn't going to hoe out. your mama didn't raise no bitch

   Wrapping your hand around his shaft it felt heavy and hot. how the man's able to slang this wood without showing his print? who knows but you'll find out as soon as you're done with him

   He groaned softly as you revealed his dick, it stood fully hard at 9 inches and a three finger width, your hand couldn't wrap around it fully ᴏʜ ʏᴇᴀ ꜱɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀꜱꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀ

   He watched you, meticulously studying how you measured his hard dick in your small hands. he could bust right then if it didn't get him laughed at, maybe you would like that, his dick pulsed at the thought

   You gasp as it jumped in your hand, meeting his eyes that shined a particular crimson when the light hit him the right way, as a heavy blush entrapped his face, he looked away.

   "I'm sorry (y/n) it probably isn't as big as you're use to." You pause looking at him calling for his attention. "Kiri are you joking??" He looked at you confused tilting his head slightly

   "Kiri baby your dick is the biggest I've ever been in contact with, you dick is beyond the average length of men in like, more than half the world!?" You praised making sure you emphasized 'beyond'

   He piped up and you were sure if he had a tail it would be wagging. "Really?!" You chuckle at his excitement. "Yea I'm kinda nervous you might break me, but I ain't a bitch."

   You let out a fat glob of spit working both hand on his shaft, stroking up and down. every time you approached the tip you squeezed a little tighter making him cry out

   One thing you loved about about giving blowjobs is the noises your partner made and that is what you're loving about Kirishima right now, the vocalism, you felt yourself getting wetter immediately

   Wanting to hear more you kissed his tip licking over it, double hand twisting never stopped, Kirishima bit his lip holding in what you wanted—no needed—to hear

   You placed his tip right under your bottom lip as you pouted in faux sympathy batting your full lashes. "Kiri~ I wanna hear you. How 'm 'posed to know if you're feeling good hmm~?"

   This is the second time not even five minutes in that Kirishima has almost accidentally wasted his seed. "Fuuck, sorry, didn't wanna mess you up, just look so pretty down there sucking on my cock."

   Now the word 'cock' for you was a weird and cringy word, only used by white pornstars that faked every orgasm, but when Kirishima used it??

   You almost frosted your panties. Rapidly you flexed your tongue on his slit causing him to buck and whine. "Fuck if you actually put your mouth on me, I might cum fucckk."

   Smiling at him, you rubbed his dick against your face while it leaked gobs of precum. "Go ahead it's fine you can cum, I'll drink it all up, just for you."

   He cried out as you gripped his balls with one hand, they were heavier than his dick. "They feel so full Kiri wouldn't you love to cum in my mouth? I'd be soo grateful." He whimpered out a hum making you tsk

   "No no no Kiri I told you I need to be able to hear you. So what do you want?" Your condescending tone spurring him on even more as you continue fondling his balls and stroking his dick

   "Ooh fuck sugar I w-wanna cum in your mouth watch you swallow it 'n see your tongue come out clean, s-shit wanna see you choke on how much milk comes f-from my cock ahhh~ 'm so fuckin close." You laugh at his confession

   "Of course I can do that baby gimme all your cum I want all of that." Lightly squeezing his testicles before you kissed the head of his dick putting your mouth on it swirling your tongue awaiting your prize

   He bucked as you took only three inches of him, tanned fists turning white from how harshly a grip he had on the bed. "Fuucck shit shit shit ugghhh take it." He pleaded tensing buckets of his cum flowed into your mouth

   You swallowed heap by heap as it seemed to never end, but you didn't mind, pulling away as the last bead dripped onto your knuckle, you licked it up with haste

   Your tongue trailed Kiri's length reaching the tip, swirling off with a pop of your lips, pressing one last kiss for the day. you watched Kirishima twitch as he analyzed your face

   Brown skin wearing a shiny glaze because of the spit you lathered his dick with, his eyes focused on the movement of your mouth as you stuck out your pink organ. "I swallowed all of it. Right Kiri?"

   He was embarrassed with how much his dick spasmed. he nodded, arm draped across his face as you boldly laughed. "We should shower." He agreed a confused expression etching his face once more as you questioned him.

   "Well what about you? You did something for me but what about you?" You laughed kissing his forehead. "I wanted to gift you with something, you're always taking me on these beautiful dates. I wanted to show my appreciation."

   He hummed unhappily as you giggled. "Well if it really matters to you—"It does!" He interrupted. "You can help me out next time okay?"

   "Alright!"

——

   You both stood in front of your apartment door, Kiri held your hand kissing the back of it. "I'll see you for another date? Next Thursday good for you?" You nod a grin paints your face as you let out a small 'of course'

   He cheeses hugging you, arms wrapped around your waist as your arms landed around his neck. His face laid on your shoulder where he whispered in your ear.

   "Can't wait sugar~ bet you'll taste as good as you look. Get ready your pretty pussy's gonna be begging for more." He pulls from the hug kissing your cheek, a smirk adorning his face as yours held a look of shock.

   He watched you back into your doorway, expression never diminishing, even as you give a small shy wave you close the door after hearing his response a sultry "Have a good night sugar~"

   Tomorrow you were going to Spencer's early in the morning to find the biggest dildo they had and hope it was big enough

   You had to prepare

𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾. ©𝖼𝗂𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅

[all-pacas]

@emptylakes - the "chase gets 13 pads" idea didn't quite work for what i needed, but was too silly to not write, so…………

-

Her uterus feels like it is tearing itself into burning hot shreds, and Hadley reminds herself she was not actually dying. Their patient, on the other hand, probably was: it was never a great sign when House ordered his team to the lab and told them to test for everything.

"It's gotta be auto-immune," she mutters, blinking rapidly as she turns from the computer screen, her eyes dry.

"If you even think the word lupus," Taub threatens, more wry than frustrated. He rubs his face. "I'm gonna make a coffee run. You want?"

"Please," says Hadley. She allows her eyes to close for a moment, pressing her forearm against her lower belly. She'd taken some aspirin, but they really don't seem to be helping, and she debates if another two would be worth it. What she wants is a hot water bottle and a nap: she has no problems working on a lack of sleep, but period fatigue is another beast entirely. The door slides open and she squints open her eyes. It's only Chase.

"He needs a new heart valve," Chase announces, glancing about the lab.

"I know I look just like House, but he's in the office." Hadley stops rubbing her stomach and rests her chin in her palm. Chase drops into an empty chair and wheels his way closer.

"I told him already. More importantly, I scheduled an OR for tomorrow morning. You alright?"

Hadley takes the question as a cue to stretch, trying not to frown at another stab of pain. "Yeah. Tired. Taub's getting coffee."

"Can I get you anything?" Chase asks. His tone's fairly casual — he doesn't sound worried — but it's a weird enough question from him that she narrows her eyes, wondering what his angle is. She and Chase are friendly. They're not exactly buddies. Concern is new.

"Test results?" she hazards, preferring to stick to a joke.

"Naproxen?" Chase does a half spin in his chair. "I can get you something stronger if you need it. I remembered my scrip pad today."

"Please tell me there's a non creepy reason you're offering me NSAIDs." Hadley asks suspiciously.

Chase grins at her. "Today's the eighteenth. Every month on the thirteenth or fourteenth, you get a zit right —" He laughs at her outraged expression. "I'm joking. Lucky guess. I saw you rubbing your stomach when I came in, so I figured stomach ache. But those aren't generally considered creepy, so I took a shot." Chase's grin falters slightly. "Cameron had really bad cramps, too." He pushes out of his chair, heading over to one of the machines.

Hadley considers this for a moment, then purses her lips. "No… still creepy. Explaining how you knew doesn't make it less weird."

"I'm just being nice," Chase says, a whining edge to his voice.

She rubs her eyes. Wants to press her hand back into her stomach and refrains. "Not a big fan of my coworkers tracking my periods."

"You think House doesn't know? And you dated Foreman, I'm think he's probably got some experience with it—"

"Like he pays attention to the bodily functions of humans" she scoffs, which is unfair to Foreman (who really had been quite patient, and handy with a hot water bottle, while they were together), but making fun of him is always a good bonding exercise when it comes to Chase. The joke works: Chase grins over from his table.

"Like I said," he says, "it was a lucky guess."

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Silver, Idia: Believe in the Me that Believes in You

I’m not a huge fan of Silver, but his Broomquet Groovy is one of my favorites ^^ I really love the color of the sky and how the birdies have come to fly with him!

Silver talks about training with Lilia in this interview; I kept thinking of Mulan's training montage during it. He also mentions that Lilia pat his head for the first time in a while and told him he's grown into a fine young man so of course I had to make jokes about how "it'll be the final time" and "Lilia's finally booting Silver out of the house now that he's 18 so papa can fuck off to retirement"—

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

"How do you spend your days off?"

Idia looked up from his clipboard. H-Huh?! Do I really have to ask this?! I-Isn't it obvious what Silver-shi's answer will be? Obviously, an air-headed macho man like him's going to say...

“When possible, I work on my equestrian skills and horse handling technique. Otherwise, I train.”

“O-Oh… right…” Idia failed to curb his lack of enthusiasm.

See?! I totally predicted that!! He’s got zero brain cells upstairs, all the brain cells were beaten out of existence by his muscles! Now all that's left is a space-case!

Silver took one look at Idia’s bug-eyed stare, and a realization (the wrong realization) set in. “Are you curious about my regimen? I’m sorry, I will elaborate.

"As one of the young master's knights, it is my responsibility to protect him. This requires maintaining peak physical performance. To begin with, my regular warm-up involves stretching, then 100 sit ups, 100 push-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 kilometer run."

"B-B-BWEH?!" Idia practically choked on his own saliva. "D-Did you really just say all of THAT for a warm-up?! And you do that willingly? For FUN?!“

"Yes, that's right. It's very light and helps to wake my body up. After that is when the 'real' training begins. I do cardio and focus on different parts of the body depending on the day of the week."

"Wh-When do you find the time to take breaks?! J-Just listening to you describe your daily exercise is making my muscles cry..."

"Ah, you're wondering how I'm able to keep up with my routine."

Huh?! It's like this guy just button mashed his way past NPC dialogue and only got the gist of what I just said!! I didn't think it was possible to meet someone that runs on autopilot IRL!!

"From a young age, my father instilled in me the importance of staying active and fit." Silver smiled fondly at the thought, ignorant to Idia's woes. “He set up obstacles courses and would give me chores that built up my strength. I’d also play tag with the animals when I wasn’t chopping wood or fetching pails of water for us.

“Sometimes Sebek would join me. We’d have a lot of fun together braving spiked pits, climbing cliffs, and surviving in the wild with only the clothes on our backs. We came out of it stronger in body, mind, and heart—they were very valuable experiences for us.”

Serenity never parted from Silver’s face the entire time he described his hellish childhood. Meanwhile, his interviewer had progressively grown paler and paler. Now he was the exact hue of a fresh corpse.

“Hmm? You don’t look too good, Idia-senpai,” Silver noted. Worry suddenly marred his gentle beauty.

He jumped. “N-Nope! I-I'm fine, my health is at max!!"

A lie—the entire interview had been mentally draining for the introvert.

"Are you sure?" Silver stepped closer, his expression turning deadly serious. “If you’re feeling unwell…”

Idia gulped. He wasn’t certain if he was overheating from the scorching May day or if it was his nerves getting the better of him.

“… You should work out with me and Sebek. I’m sure he won’t mind the extra company.”

A freight train slammed into Idia’s gut. He staggered back, mouth hanging open at the audacity of Silver’s suggestion, the one million and one things wrong with it.

"A-Are you crazy or what?! Th-There's no way I'd survive!! The only exercise I do is waving light sticks around for idol concerts, I can't handle anything more than that! P-Plus, a shut-in otaku like me can't deal with being shouted at just for existing, I’ll instantly fold!!"

“I understand, Idia-senpai.”

For a moment, his hopes welled. “A-Alright, GG. We’re done with the interview then. You can get going on the birthday road now…”

But much to Idia’s horror, the birthday boy continued.

“I also told myself, ‘I can’t do this’ and, ‘I want to give up’ when I first started my fitness journey—but throughout all my doubts, my father was there to support me, and Sebek was my friend and rival, motivating me to improve.

“At NRC too… I’ve met people who support me. I can ride a horse as well as I can because Riddle instructed me. I won an arm wrestling contest because my classmates cheered me on. There are many things I was able to do only because others were there for me in my time of need.”

“Where… are you going with this shounen anime protag speech?” Idia asked warily.

“It’s hard to do it alone, but you’re not alone at all, senpai. I will be there to cheer you on, and we can work together to help you accomplish wellness goals.” Silver stated matter-of-factly. “I believe in you, so please believe in yourself!”

“E-Eh…? Seriously, what’s with you… Is everything I’m saying going in one ear and out the other?”

H-How can one person be a literal beacon of light and goodness in the world?! Is Silver-shi really the kind of person who tries to empathize with even the characters fandoms unanimously hate? Would he walk up to a broom and try to shake its hand?

A firm pat on the shoulder snapped Idia out of his spiraling thoughts. He found Silver staring him down, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"I need to head off on the birthday road now, but I want you to know that you're always welcome to my workout sessions, and I'll always be in your corner."

"W-Wait," Idia stammered meekly, "I never agreed to take you up on your offer... P-Please tell me you won’t show up unannounced in my dorm to drag me outside…!!”

WHOOSH!

The Ignihyde dorm leader was silenced by a powerful kickback of magic to the face. The fire of his hair flew around him—and when the flames cleared out of his sight, he saw that Silver was already a dot in the distance.

Petals danced upon the breeze, as white as the clouds stretched across the brilliantly cerulean sky. Night Raven College was drenched in golden sunlight, and spring come out in full force. The day was as picturesque as an image straight out of a storybook.

Thrilled song filled the sky as a procession of birds joined him in flight. Pink, green, blue—a flurry of colored feathers as they hurried to Silver’s side.

One planted a light peck on his cheek, another nibbled on the ribbon trailing from his bouquet. The third paved his way, trumpeting the arrival of a prince, pure of heart, with his beloved animal companions.

It was as though Mother Nature's messengers had come out to wish Silver a happy birthday.

Idia was almost mesmerized by the sight.

Almost.

“Silver-shi really does belong in a whole new world… far, far away from me!!”

[salamanderinspace]

So tests came back and I do have "mild" sleep apnea, doc says, which apparently means I stop breathing 15 times per hour, and my pulseox goes down to 86. This all sounds pretty bad to me but I've been assured it's mild. At some point the cpap people are going to call me; I guess I get a free trial of the thing for 90 days. I'm pretty pleased about that.

I've been keeping busy this week, working a lot. I've gone to some museums and galleries, talked a lot, made connections. I have a show with my work opening Saturday night here, downtown. I'm making new work too, pretty furiously. It turns out I function very differently when there are not five dog walks and two dog feedings and constant dog "pay attention to me mommy" all day long. At first there was a sort of euphoria as the weight of all that came off my shoulders. Of course I do miss her. I cried so much when she passed that my electrolytes got all messed up and I had a seizure. I'm kind of expecting changes, health-wise, since my daily schedule is so different now. I can really get immersed in work. I can eat a big meal and then sit a few minutes without having to rush off and do the dog. I worry about losing any strength conditioning or fitness I might've gained from walking her, so I've added in more exercises. Overall though my attention span feels so much stronger than it was, now that I can actually make my own plans and do them without being responsible for a very social creature. And the cat is there when I want someone to fuss over.

And husband of course. He's a brick. There are many ways we make good partners. There is only one little piece of me that doesn't quite fit with him, that he doesn't particular want or need anyway. About a month ago I wrested that piece of me away from a place it has not been safe. I don't know if anything is changed, really. I don't like to write about her here because I know she reads this blog sometimes--seems tacky--but I write my feelings here for a reason. I like having a record. It makes things feel more solid. It makes me less alone with everything. And it being all in one place, organized, is helpful. Often I write things elsewhere and then find them, months later, completely having forgotten about them. Not this blog though.

One of the main diagnostic criteria of autism is adhering to rigid routines or repetitive thought patterns. This is not something I associate with me. I love adventure and change and challenge and pizzazz and variety and novelty. I need everyday to be different--I don't even like to eat the same foods. But with relationships, they sort of sink into me and stain deep. Maybe the impetus to write fanfiction comes from that same, "I'm not done with this yet" sort of feeling. Maybe it's a reluctance to trust something new. Most people don't let the deepest part of themselves adhere to just anything, just anyone… I feel like I pick people who are sometimes nice and sometimes mean. Complex. Disorganized. Skeptical. Intense. And overtime the niceness drains away as they come to understand and process who I really am. (just some guy.) (Just a lady.) (Pretty good at art and creative stuff.) (Incurably American.) (Paranoid millennial.) (Used to have a dog.) (Interested in science and politics.) (Chronically ill.) (Sleepy, but maybe that will change when they put the machine on my face.)

[stockingshypnopantyhoseleggings]

Office Meditation

The day was going slowly, emails were dreary, conference calls were boring. So I slipped in my earpods and decided to do a mindfulness meditation thingy on this health app.

I opened the app, found the meditation section, found a 30 minute file and hit play.

A soft female voice popped in to my ears, softly spoken almost mono-tonal and yet somehow captivating.

She started with the usual breathing exercises and getting comfortable, and getting me to relax and try and block out the outside world, I duly did as instructed.

After a few minutes, I guessed the meditation worked as I’d dropped in to a deep state of relaxation, I felt carefree and light as a feather, ‘wow, this file is awesome’ I thought, as I was coming to, I noticed my feet were on my desk and my legs spread wide.

As I came around some more, I also notice my hand was in my shorts and my cock was rock hard, I was also gripping my cock and masturbating hard, the woman’s voice in the meditation file was still playing, saying things like:

‘The harder your cock the better you feel’

‘The better you feel, the more you stroke’

‘The more you stroke, the more you become my sissy slave’

Repeat after me the voice said

‘I am a slave for mistress’

‘My cock is hers to rule’

Keep repeating the mantra’s the voice said

All I could do was as I was commanded

I kept stroking my cock, mindlessly and obediently, then the voice said

‘Sissy slave will wear panties, and pantyhose to the office tomorrow, what will sissy slave do?’

‘I will wear panties and pantyhose to the office tomorrow’, I replied

At that point the voice said, ‘ on the count of 1 you will cum in an intense amount of pleasure, you will then lick all of your cum from your hands like the good sissy slave you are, you will then wake up feeling fulfilled and refreshed and not be able to consciously remember anything of what happened apart from your command buried in your subconscious’.

Then the voice said:

‘5, slowly starting to wake’

‘4, feeling the intense orgasm build’

‘3, becoming more aware of your surroundings’

‘2, orgasm building stronger and strong, wanking your cock harder and harder’

‘And’

‘1, intense pleasure, feel that orgasm flow, cum, cum, cum’

I let out an intense moan as my load shot out all over my hand and belly, I had this compulsion to lick the cum off my hand and scoop it up from my belly and lick that too.

On the way home I stopped at the store to pick up the groceries, I also found myself in the women’s section buying some lace and satin panties, and some black sheer pantyhose, as I really felt like wearing them to work the next day.

[krikeymate]

I feel like when tara was a kid her mom always thought that she was so weak.. with her always getting sick, having asthma attacks, and her frail figure. She constantly compares her to sam(even when sam is not around) and takes everything as a way to remind tara that she is weak. So when tara meets sam for the first time she doesn’t know how to feel about her. She slightly despises sam since she thinks shes the reason that her mom never really liked her growing up. So when social services tell her shes going to live with sam she doesn’t know what to think. When tara starts living there she doesn’t complain about anything or talk to her about her problems. She does anything to seem not weak and shes sort of jealous of sam. She would never admit that of course. She would watch sam from around corners and sam would notice but she wouldn’t push taras boundaries and acknowledge it. Tara would copy things that sam did in order to try to be like her. Sam notices and she hesitates but she talks to tara about it and she reassures her that she is perfect and she doesn’t need to pretend to be someone else. Its pretty obvious that tara still thinks negative about herself and sam decides to buy Tara little 5-10 pound weights so she can become stronger like sam, its one of the first things they bond over

Tara's grown up in Sam's shadow, never knowing the girl she can't match up to. Her mother would talk about her daughter sometimes, only to remind Tara that she'll never be her. She knows her face, sleeps in her room, wears her clothes, but she never knows her name. Tara wonders if her mother ever loved her, or if the one who came before was just another in a line of disappointments she got rid of when she got bored.

When she finally meets the daughter, she sees her mother, and it scares her. They must be the same. She's her daughter after all. (Tara doesn't really understand that she was her mother's daughter too, she never called her that, how was she to know?) After she begins to realise Sam isn't her mother, she begins to get curious instead. She wonders if she could ever be like her, if she could ever be ok, be like everybody else.

She watches Sam, learns from her. She spent all those years upset at being compared to this girl, only to realise she wants to be like her after all. (She wonders if that means the things her mother said about her were right, if she was right about this.)

Sam's more than a little amused when she watches Tara make strange choices sometimes and realises it's because she's copying Sam's strange habits. (And a little terrified. This tiny child is looking up to her, she's responsible for her. She knew that, but the reminder is shocking.)

Sam used to go jogging, it was a free way to exercise and keep healthy. She can't do that once Tara comes along, and she can't take Tara jogging, so once they move she buys some exercise equipment to work out instead. Tara would sit and watch her sometimes, which was a little unnerving, but Sam didn't complain. Then Tara began to ask questions, and eventually, asked if she could do it too. So she could be big and strong like Sam. Sam has a feeling that Tara's never going to get to be big and strong, but she's actually asking for once, and how can Sam say no when Tara is finally showing that she wants something? After an extensive talk with Tara's therapist and doctors, she agrees to let Tara have twice-weekly monitored workouts. She also later gets her a kids punching bag for her room, so she can let out her aggression when she gets mad. It was a good investment.

[astercontrol]

So, someone asked me how I imagine the "standard substandard training" given to User-Believers in Tron 1982.

And I wrote so much that… I feel it might be of interest here:

---

Hmm! Well, since it's "substandard," and not really intended for improving their abilities much….

I would guess it's very much like the experience that most people I've met remember from gym class in elementary, middle and high school.

That is: Being forced to do a lot of exercises… like pushups, sit-ups, chin-ups, etc…. none of which you can do quite properly without lots of practice and gradual improvement.

But you aren't taught how to do that practice and gradual improvement. You just get repeatedly scolded that you're doing it wrong-- with no guidance on how to train your body to be able to do it right.

So like, maybe a FEW students will figure it out, or already have enough skills built that they can get something out of the training.

But the rest will just come out of each lesson exhausted and miserable… and most of them get derezzed in their first fight.

Since the ruling class under the MCP is "brutal and needlessly sadistic," this is probably ideal for them. it provides a lot of easily-destroyed games-fodder (demoralized and blaming themselves for their lack of skill) for when they just want to laugh at someone being humiliated and totally obliterated.

Maybe fight a few of these weak ones against each other if they want to see a fight that's not TOO one-sided. And of course, use them as opponents to train low-level Reds until they're higher-level, without much danger to the Reds.

And then there are those few who are stronger-- those ones they can pit against each other or equally-matched Reds, to see a fight with some actual skill.

(But we see that Sark and MCP are getting bored with this system by the time of the movie. It really doesn't produce very MANY effective fighters. Which is why they want to move on to military programs.)

(And now I am feeling renewed anger toward grade-school phy-ed class... AND wondering how many gym teachers dream of being military drill sergeants. Hah.)

As for what this translates to in programming terms…

I imagine that every visible/audible/tangible thing in the computer system is a sort of graphic interface, representing some function of the programming in there. That's kinda the only way it all makes any sense to me.

So, the discs represent one's memories / identity (either a backup copy or the only copy, I'm not sure)… so fighting with discs represents the fact that there's some function within a program's memory/identity that can be used as a weapon to cause damage to other programs.

The exact motions of the fight would represent the exact steps involved in doing that harm (and therefore I think that could influence the amount and type of harm, though that usually wouldn't matter much, because with enough damage done it would all add up to deresolution in nearly every case).

I think the "exercises" in training would be stuff related to fighting maneuvers… which, like I said, must be a sort of visual/kinetic representation of programming functions that are related to harming other programs.

So the "gradual improvement" I guess is analogous to system upgrades. Or at least, being provided with data and commands that enable that specific use of the functions you have.

If you are a program like Crom, specialized to do calculations involving interest (which are not easily applied to fighting!)… then you would probably need to get new features coded into your programming before you could be competent at the games.

Crom definitely doesn't get that. But maybe the training the Reds get can involve some actual upgrading.

Tron, of course, is one of the lucky students who came into gym class with enough skills to ace it (because fighting is already part of his directive).

Ram MIGHT have some fighting directives in his programming too (because in "The Next Day" we find out his programmer's a hacker, and I've seen headcanons that he has some hacker code in him).

He also might be especially good at applying his actuarial functions to the math of calculating fight moves.

AND he's very close to Tron, so he gets all the help he can from that too.

(When all else fails, friendship is magic.)