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#and I had a very physical day today so that probably isn’t helping
bigolgay · 5 months
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Holding a cloth to my mouth when I cough because:
1. Ew germs.
2. Ew loud.
People trying to sleep and I’m coughing like I’ve got tuberculosis. Or like a toddler. You know that cough that toddlers do? Like the most aggressive coughing ever. That’s me.
Except I cover my mouth when I cough because ew germs remember?
#I do wish for death though#every time i cough my very hurty ribs like to make me think that my chest is being crushed#I’m gonna have to make an appointment with the doctor when mum gets home#because last night I kept waking up unable to breath from pain in my ribs#I’m lowkey kinda worried I’ve permanently fucked up my ribs#if I inhale too hard then I want to cry from pain😃#and like… I’m a pussy and don’t handle pain well so there’s every chance that I’m over exaggerating but…#it’s terrifying?#like it genuinely feels like I’m dying sometimes#I’ve been trying to check my ribs but I can’t press on them too hard to feel them because it’s very hurty (like tears to eyes kinda hurty)#I can lift my arms above my head to make them more visible but it hurts and I can’t twist my body in a way that allows me to touch them#not without it knocking the wind out of me with pain#I’m gonna need to go to the doctor I think#tbf tho I’ve had multiple days now where they’ve had near constant strain and whatever#like if I wasn’t heaving and throwing up I was and still am coughing endlessly#and I had a very physical day today so that probably isn’t helping#it’ll probably go back to just being sore tomorrow#but still#it’s sort of scary#if I die because my ribs killed me im gonna be so pissed#that’s not a cool way to die😑#guys if my ribs kill me can we pretend it was actually a bear that crushed my chest?#that’s much cooler#I think “murdered by bear” sounds much cooler than “weird fucked up ribs ig🙄“#anyway#I’m gonna try and sleep now and hope my ribs don’t constrict and kill me in my sleep!!!#nighty night!!! 😘😘😘😘#who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾
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Helluva Boss Characters Reacting to You Asking for a Hug
Tbh this series is just for my own enjoyment at this point lmao
I’m so normal about them, I swear.
BLITZØ
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Honestly, it depends on what type of relationship you have with him
Familial relationship? Best BELIEVE he’s coddling the shit outta you rn
^ def a cheek pincher
“Hey sweetie? Do you need me ta fuck someone up for ya?”
But if y’all are platonic, or SATAN FORBID
R O M A N T I C ?
Ur not getting Shit
Well, until you start crying
“You’re a fuckin’ baby, you know that?”
Very casual hugs
Always sits his chin on you
Will complain the entire time
But you both know he loves you
LOONA
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“Oh shit, you good?”
She’s blunt, not heartless
Honestly pretty touched that you asked for a hug instead of just going for one
Like her adoptive dad, very casual hugs
Usually just slings an arm over your shoulders
Won’t talk to you about it
Y’all just sit in comforting silence
Don’t let anyone point out that she’s letting you touch her
Will get v flustered
Depending on how you both feel - may let you play with her hair to self regulate
MILLIE
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“Sure thing, hun!”
Doesn’t matter who you are, or why you need a hug, she’ll take it
Physical affection is her top love language idc
Squeezes super super tight
Like, you can barely breathe
Gushes over how sweet you are
Will probs pepper your face in kisses too (doesn’t matter what ur relationship with her is)
((Millie is a strong believer in non-romantic kisses, she told me herself))
Will probs ask Moxxie to bring y’all a drink
MOXXIE
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“Uhh, you sure you want a hug from me?”
Yes babe I’m sure
Doesn’t think he’s the best one to be comforting you - will palm you off to Millie if he can
But will be offended if anyone else says he can’t look after you
^^ Gets all huffy about it
Distraction is his new best friend
Will tell you a mixture of stories and fun facts to try and make you feel better
Will also make you a hot drink
If you want to, will talk out your feelings with you
STOLAS
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Babes just blinks for a hot minute as your words register with him
Has the softest smile
“Of course, dearest. Come here.”
A hug isn’t enough for him, you’re in for a full blown cuddle sesh now
Likes the feeling of having you fully wrapped up in his arms
Forehead kisses. Forehead Kisses.
Will sometimes swaddle you in blankets like a literal baby
Hums softly for you
Tries to ask what’s wrong, will def push the subject
He just wants to fix it, okay?
Will just,,, smother you in affection until you’re okay
And then some
OCTAVIA
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Judgemental eyebrow raise.
Judgy, judgy girl
Y’all gotta be CLOSE for her to hug
((But not really, she’s so touch starved its not funny, but we don’t talk about that-))
Long, comforting hugs
If u end up crying, will fix your makeup for you
Don’t mention it though
Like, literally don’t mention it or it won’t happen again
She probs just breathes a sigh of relief when y’all hugs
Holds on a little too tight, for a little too long
If you ask first, she’ll start coming to you for hugs now too
FIZZAROLLI
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Baby. Baby, baby man.
Will wrap his arms around you several times over
Another really tight hugger
You had shit to do?
Sike, not anymore
Now you’re spending all day with Fizz
Your fault, you started it by asking for a hug
Is super worried about you, but tries to play it down
Will do stupid shit just to see you laugh
Will ALSO flirt with you until you can’t stand it anymore
ASMODEUS
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Immediately concerned, does not try to hide it
Much like his bf, cancels all plans for today
Y’all are gonna be chilling in bed and cuddling now
Just kinda,,, scoops you up?
Definitely plays with your hair
Gives a SOLID head massage
So so gentle and sweet
Just lays you on his chest
Draws pictures on your back and makes you guess what he’s drawing
^^ he does this to help ground you
Tbh he’ll probably drag Fizz to bed too, so know they’re both looking after you
Mans isn’t gonna let anyone get left out
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cinnajun · 1 year
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 as your boyfriend
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a/n: these get progressively longer the more you go on and that’s my bad, i’m just insane over this group idk …
notes: long hair is implied in jiwoong’s, yujin is not included due to his age!, i did not proofread this so sorry for typos
wc | 3.5k
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jiwoong
i think this would be so much fun in the like adult way … like doing taxes together and watching tv shows
dating jiwoong means SETTLING DOWN!!! this is for the long run for real
in all seriousness i think being jiwoong’s s/o means you will feel very secure at all times
he isn’t interested in anyone but you … like seriously
looks at you like you’re the only person on the planet when you’re out and about
if anyone hits on him, he shuts it down SO fast that you’ll barely have time to process what happened
in terms of love languages, i’d say his is probably acts of service in both giving and receiving
there’s no better way to show him that you love him than taking care of little chores around the house (especially the ones he usually does) or picking up some toothpaste when he’s running low
in the same way, he loves to do those things for you—he really appreciates the way you smile when you find out he did the dishes for you <;<3
overall, a very sweet relationship, and a very very long-term one
IT’S ALMOST LAUGHABLE how gentle Jiwoong is as he braids your hair, pulling each strand off your head with such precision and cautiousness that you’d think he was braiding strands of pure gold. Weddings were long events, and you’d noticed that, every time you went to one, you ended up with a million knots in your hair that you had to spend extra time brushing out after.
So, Jiwoong had the bright idea to braid your hair—and insisted he do it for you, so that you wouldn’t have to keep your arms raised for so long, or something. You just didn’t think he’d try this hard at it.
“You can go a little faster, you know,” you said, painting your eyelashes with mascara. “If you go any slower, we’ll be late to the ceremony.”
“We can just sit in the back,” he mumbled, continuing to put one strand over the other. “I need to make sure it’s well-done so it doesn’t just knot your hair even worse than leaving it down does.”
You sighed, a little smile appearing on your face. “Whatever makes you happy,” you sighed, continuing to put on your mascara. “Who am I to say no?”
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zhang hao
i feel like the most prominent part of dating zhang hao is trying to figure out how you scored him LOL
i mean look at him … he's so perfect it’s almost painful
and he’s such a good boyfriend that literally all of your friends are so jealous … and he’s the only guy they haven’t called ugly so that’s a plus LOL
i will say though dating him has to mean you’re really comfortable with yourself because just about everyone shoots their shot with him
obviously he turns them down but he’s too nice to do it in a way where they’ll actually be scared off (cough jiwoong cough)
he’s very loving and very appreciative, and loves hearing about everything you do
tbh he just loves you
his love language is definitely physical touch, but in the like sweetest way possible
he holds your hand and swings it around when you’re out and about, he leans his head on your shoulder when you watch movies, he puts his head in your lap when you’re sitting on the couch…
and he always stares at you, which is super nerve-wracking, but he just loves you so much that he can’t help it
seriously has heart eyes for you
IT’S NOT ALWAYS that your mom calls, but you supposed today just had to be the day. As much as you love her, she tends to talk your ear off, which is something you’d rather not deal with at a random time in the middle of your day. Nevertheless, it was better to get it over with now rather than later.
Hao had been napping with his head on your lap when she called, and you’d hoped that would be a good excuse to hang up. Except, when you pleaded with your mom, telling her that Hao was sleeping and you didn’t want to wake him, she insisted that she needed to talk to you right then. So, for the past twenty minutes, you’d been listening to her talk about her knitting club while you ran your hand through his hair.
You’d also failed to notice that Hao had been awake since before she’d even called. Initially, he just wanted a few more seconds laying on you before you kicked him off (because your thighs were cramping and you needed to stretch), but he’d been pleasantly surprised when your attention was stolen by the phone call.
So, when you looked down and saw him staring at you oh-so-lovingly, you choked on air, causing your mom to frantically ask you what was wrong. All the while, he stared at you, wondering how he managed to find you (but shouldn’t you be asking that)?
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hanbin
if you’re feeling unloved, just date hanbin and he will fix it right up for you
he is an endless pit of love and is just waiting to give it to someone (that someone happens to be you)
you’re like 90% sure he popped out of a cheesy romance novel and wandered straight to your door but i digress
everything about this guy is so pleasant that it’s almost nauseating
his mom, how clean his bedroom is, how much he happens to enjoy cooking, how much he loves all the things you suggest as date ideas, it’s so much that your friends are suspicious that he’s hiding something incredibly unforgivable
he’s not, though, he’s just like that
and he just happened to be truly, madly, deeply in love with you so congrats on that one!!!
hanbin’s love language is also physical touch (shocker)
he’s super clingy, especially when you go out together, and has to have a hand on you at all times (if you get separated it will literally ruin his day)
really loves to cuddle with you…for example, if you decide to take a nap without him, you will wake up wrapped in his impossible to escape koala hug
he also loves kisses. forehead kisses, cheek kisses, all kisses … he especially loves it when you kiss his tattoos
he gets super enamored with you when you give him the same energy back, so try that out, too
EVERY DAY, YOU GET HOME from work around the time Hanbin’s decided to start dinner, and, every day, you attempt the same little prank. Slowly, you enter your home, trying to stay as quiet as possible.
The sound of the nightly news fills your ears, and the smell of whatever Hanbin decided to make attacks your nose. As subtly as possible, you put your bag and keys down on a dresser you have in the entryway, removing your shoes and tiptoeing through the house as quietly as possible.
As usual, Hanbin’s back is facing the doorway, and he’s hunched over the stove, fiddling with whatever he’s making. You tip-toe run up to him, bumping into him and wrapping your arms around his waist. He giggles, as usual, and puts his hands on your arms.
“Hi,” you say into his back, which prompts him to turn around in your embrace, staring down at you with the most loving expression he could muster up.
And, placing a kiss on the crown of your head, he says, “I missed you.”
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matthew
CUTE BOYFRIEND!!!
matthew is like so clueless in a relationship and he’s just kind of winging everything, which makes him about 70% funnier
you’ll be out shopping and he’ll pick something up, usually a trinket of sorts, look you dead in the eyes, and say, “is this something people get for their partners?”
if you say yes, it will magically appear in your bedroom like 4 days later and he’ll be oh-so proud of himself
your parents LOVE matthew, to the point where you begin to wonder if they like him more than they like you
it’s nice, though, because they’re more willing to help pay for your utility bill if they know matthew’s benefitting from it too LOL
he’s such a sweet boyfriend that sometimes you like need to stop and put your phone down
his love languages are words of affirmation on the receiving end and gift giving on the giving end
when you’re away from one another, he texts you selfies along with cute little summaries of what he’s doing and absolutely expects you to do the same
also sends good morning/good night texts if he can’t say it in person for whatever reason
also has some like tiktok-worthy beige flags (the comments say they’re all green flags)
like he asks you what your ring size is like once a month and then comes home with ring pops and goes “i had them custom made to fit your finger”
and you’re like “omg matthew i can’t believe you would do that for me!!!”
MATTHEW’S HANDS ARE poorly covering your eyes as he leads you to this mystery-location that he’d spent the entire day hyping up. He swore it was going to absolutely blow you away, and had even said that you’d be at a loss for words.
“We’re almost there,” he said, excitement dripping from his words. “Be careful, there’s a couple of steps here.”
You did your best to ascend without face planting, although it was a bit difficult given that Matthew was unknowingly rushing you due to his excitement. “Okay, are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
In a flash, he removed his hands from your eyes, and it takes you a second to realize what you’re staring at. It’s a table cutely decorated for some sort of picnic, with string lights overhead and a candle burning on the table. You realize you’re in your parents backyard pretty quickly, but the thing that really has you confused is the teddy bear sitting on the edge. It looks exactly like the one you carried around as a kid, albeit much cleaner—but you’d lost it when you were 10.
“I tore apart your house looking for it,” Matthew said, putting his head on your shoulder. “Mr. Tumnus, right? Like the Narnia character? He was behind the couch. I got him cleaned, too. Do you like it?”
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taerae
swoon
UGHHHH taerae is so perfect
like he’s totally the boy next door, locker neighbor, church boy type of boyfriend
he asked you out on valentine’s day with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of like really pretty chocolate-covered strawberries and you’ve been whipped since
you’re both wrapped around each other’s fingers in the most severe way possible
you’re also definitely like a married couple, specifically a couple of grandparents who’ve been retired for like 30 years
you probably share a friend group, and everyone in the group considers you two the parents of the group (you’re the dad)
almost always, you have a third wheel, but that’s fine because you and taerae are good at making sure it’s not awkward (which is why people always want to come on your dates)
taerae’s love language is definitely quality time
more often than not you’re both doing something completely separate from one another and he doesn’t care, he just likes knowing that you’re around
i don’t see him being the touchiest person, even in a relationship, so spending time together is the only thing taerae needs to feel loved. if you never blow him off and spend all of your free time just sitting next to him, he’ll be entirely pleased forever and ever
SOMETIMES, YOU FORGET that Taerae is in the room with you, which tends to be more embarrassing than you’d have wanted it to be.
Once, early in your relationship, he’d come over and you’d been spending time in your room. Except, hours had passed without you saying a word to each other, and you’d forgotten he was even there in the first place. You were so engrossed in your latest craft project, attempting to crochet, that he’d blended into the scenery of your bedroom.
So, when you kept messing up on a particular stitch, you found it fit to stand up and absolutely scream at the top of your lungs. When you got done, you planned to sit down and keep doing, but you heard Taerae laugh nervously behind you, causing you to freeze up.
“Uh, what was that?”
You turned around, staring at him with what could only be described as horror written on your face. You stared at one another in complete silence for what felt like hours, although in reality it must’ve been no more than five or six seconds.
“I forgot you were here,” you finally choked out, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Taerae just laughed, and it only made you feel more miserable.
“You’re adorable, you know?”
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ricky
ricky is such a sweet boyfriend
even if he’s a bit awkward at times he’s so nice to be around
i think he just cares about you so much that he fluctuates in the same way that you do…if you’re happy, he’s happy, if you’re sad, he’s sad, etc…
at the same, he’s always completely panicked that he is not doing enough for you
he constantly checks in to make sure that you are getting what you need from him, and, while he wouldn’t say it aloud, he appreciates it when you do the same
he doesn’t like conflict so he pretty much does anything he can to get rid of the problem before it happens
as such, if he finds out anything upsetting, he will approach you about it instantaneously
i think ricky’s love language is gift giving, though, both on the receiving end and on the giving end
whether it’s an origami flower made out of a receipt you got or a pretty necklace you found while out and about with friends, ricky treasures it like it’s his child
almost every gift you’ve gotten him is displayed in his room somewhere, like he’s got a whole shelf dedicated to things that you gave him …
all of his gifts are incredibly well thought out too even if they’re last minute
he also tends to just give you anything that you express literally any interest in
you like the hat he’s wearing? okay it’s yours now
“no i mean that i like it on you!!”
he doesn’t care it’s yours now
THANKS TO A FAMILY VACATION, you hadn’t been able to see Ricky for a week, which had been the end of the world for both of you. So, the moment you got back home, you ditched the comfort of your room to head straight to his house.
The moment he opened his front door, you collapsed into his arms, taking in the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of laundry detergent coming from his sweater. Then, you realized that the sweater he was wearing was new.
You leaned back to get a better look at it, taking it in. “I like it!” you exclaimed, smiling up at him. He tilted his head in confusion, staring back down at you.
“Like what?”
“The new sweater.”
Without even skipping a beat, Ricky tugged it over his head, causing your mouth to drop open a bit. “Wait, no—”
Before you could finish your sentence, he’d pulled it over your head, and was waiting for you to put your arms through the sleeves. He smiled, happy with his sudden attack. “I knew you would, so I got two.”
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gyuvin
dating gyuvin is so much fun
you were probably friends before you started dating, so when you start dating, it’s like your friendship amped up 200% along with like some kissing and stuff LOL
he knows you inside and out, to the point where you wonder if he knows you better than you know you
he also definitely had a crush on you for a loooong time before he acted on it so he remembers little details you shared in passing from years in the past
as such he’s constantly taking you out on the most lovely dates you could possibly imagine
you mentioned you like hot chocolate two years ago on a friend group outing? well good news! gyuvin remembered and he’s taking you to a world-renowned cafe that’s specifically noted for its hot chocolate
you like barbie movies???? every single one is downloaded onto his computer. every one. and he knows which one is your favorite
i think gyuvin’s love languages are acts of service + quality time
he just likes doing things for you and he likes doing things with you too … he just likes you tbh
he’d be heartbroken if you ever said no to one of his meticulously planned out dates so make sure to never do that (his friends would also hate you instantly and being hated by sung hanbin AND park gunwook is terrifying so don’t do that)
strangely enough, when you reciprocate the energy and plan out intense dates based on little tiny information, he gets super flustered, so try it out if you can
THE FIRST THING that comes out of Gyuvin’s mouth when he comes into your living room is, “You remembered?”
You’re almost taken aback by the question, eyes widening the moment the words leave his mouth. He was asking you that? After he remembered every little detail about you, from your favorite episode of your favorite show to your favorite breed of dog?
“Of course I remembered that you like soccer. How could I forget that you like soccer?”
You’d set up a little mini-party for the both of you to watch the World Cup, equipped with snacks and a jersey for his favorite team. And, somehow, he was a blushing mess, as if he didn’t expect you to remember something so basic about him.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, turning away from you as he turned beet red. “I just…I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it.”
“Well, expect it more often,” you said, linking your arm with his, a bright smile on your face. “Cause I love you. And I love doing things for you.”
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gunwook
yea gunwook is definitely your first love and you’re really hoping he’ll be the last
you probably had some sort of super dramatic lead-up to you actually getting into a relationship, so you’re also probably super attached to each other by the first day you’re calling him “boyfriend”
even though he’s young, gunwook feels a lot of responsibility for everything in his life, so being with you is essentially his wind-down time
as a result you have a lot of sleepovers, which include doing facemasks and going to bed at like 9pm because he’s so tired
and you just generally spend a lot of time together because you’re an oasis in the middle of the desert for him
gunwook feels really proud that he gets to have the title of “your boyfriend,” so be prepared for him to call himself that a lot
it makes him all giggly and happy, which makes you all giggly and happy, so you’re pretty much giggly and happy 24/7
gunwook’s love language is absolutely words of affirmation
he’s under a lot of pressure (student council vice president, class president, like good lord he is leading the people) so he just wants to hear that he’s doing well, especially from someone he cares so much about
even just telling him that he’s doing his best will make him melt in a pile of i-love-you putty
and he makes sure to do the same for you :)
IT’S NOT OFTEN THAT Gunwook breaks under the pressure, but when he does, it breaks your heart, too. It’s inevitable that he loses his balance sometimes, given the fact that he often takes on way more than he can handle, but you’re always there to pick up the pieces.
“You need to go to bed,” you say as warmly as possible, placing a hand on his shoulder. He continues to write a flurry of numbers onto his paper, trying to fulfill his plans of finishing all his weekend homework so he could spend the majority of it hanging out with you. “You can finish tomorrow morning, okay?”
Gunwook stops, finally, leaning back in his chair. He looks up at you, a frown on his face, and you can tell that he’s starting to unravel. You cup his face in your hands, looking down at him with the calmest smile you can muster.
“You did a good job, tonight. And calculus will be there for you in the morning, okay?”
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”
You smile, a feeling of triumph overtaking you. “Thank you very much!”
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thank you for reading!
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papercorgiworld · 1 year
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The headmaster’s special assignment: you
f!slytherin!reader x Sebastian Sallow
A little bit of fluff with a smutty ending! So beware!
You can safely read until the smut warning.
A/N: Feedback is always welcome
First week back at Hogwarts and Sebastian had already earned himself detention twice. It was probably a record and the reason he was currently walking the stairs to the headmaster’s office. He swallowed as professor Black looked up at him. “Ah. Mister Sallow.” Sebastian nodded. “You have been a troublemaker from day one, but it gets worse every year.” Sebastian forced an apologizing smile.
“I’m starting to think Hogwarts isn’t the right place for you.” Sebastian's eyes widened. No, this could not be happening. “But! Headmaster-'' Professor Black shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. You get one last chance to do it right. And a special assignment from me.” Sebastian was both surprised and curious. “What do you mean with a special assignment?” “It concerns my niece: y/n /l/n.” The headmaster explained. Sebastian was shocked. You, the quietest and sweetest Slytherin were related to this man. “She’s my sister’s daughter and I hold her very dear.” Black informed Sebastian with a stern voice. “Of course. How can I help?” Sebastian offered, trying to sound as responsible and trustworthy as possible.
“I need you to take her to the Hogsmeade dance. Watch over her. Make sure she has a good time. And, most importantly, drop her off safely.” Sebastian had several questions, but the impatient look on the headmaster’s face kept Sebastian from asking any.
***
The next few weeks Sebastian turned your world upside down. Suddenly he noticed you, everywhere and all the time. He would offer to be your partner all the time, you would study together and when in the common room he would always sit near you. You didn’t ask any questions about his sudden interest in you. You had had a crush on Sebastian since fourth year, so you were all butterflies and no brains.
Though Sebastian was clearly on a mission he had started to enjoy your company. He had always known you to be sweet and smart, but there was more to you. You, like him, shared an interest in the dark arts and you turned out to be quite the dueling talent. However, Sebastian was a simple man and couldn’t look past the fact that during the last summer you had changed… physically. You were always good looking, but now he had to loosen his tie every time you came a bit too close.
Sebastian and you had teamed up for a Crossed Wands duel and just won. In excitement Sebastian threw his arm around your shoulder. He quickly realized he was way too close to you for his own comfort. Your warmth, your soft smell and your smile. It made him drift off to a place where it was just the two of you. Instead reality hit, it was Lucan that pulled Sebastian out of his stream of thoughts about you. “Well done to both of you. You two make quite the team.” You smiled and a little blush creped up your cheeks.
Sebastian noticed, he had noticed more then once, that you always blushed when people referred to the both of you as a team or pair. He had a suspicion that you liked him. So, why was it so hard to gather the courage to ask you to the dance. He had to do it, Black expected it from him. Part of him did also want to spend more time with you and yet asking you out for the Hogsmeade dance felt out of character for him. He led his arm drop from your shoulders as you went to pick up your bags.
“Did you already write that paper on Wiggenweld?” You asked to make conversation, as you noticed Sebastian was a bit out of it.
Sebastian simply nodded. He was acting rather odd today. He was quiet and constantly in deep thought.
“Penny for your thoughts?” You said as you took a step towards him, screening his face for any clue as to what was on his mind.
He laughed nervously and tousled his hair a few times. ‘Be smug. Be cool.’ Sebastian gave himself a pep talk.
Ominis who had only just joined you two immediately picked up on what’s going on. A wide smile appeared on his face. “Do you know what’s going on with Seb?” You asked Ominis as he obviously knew more than you.
“I'm pretty sure that he’s trying to ask you to the Hogmeade dance… but failing.” Ominis said without mercy, putting Sebastian on the spot. Your mouth fell open, your mind exploding with excitement, was Sebastian really going to ask you?
“Wha-ah…” Sebastian stuttered, going from slightly pink to full red. He noticed people staring, they clearly heard Ominis. ‘Ominis will pay for this’ and with that thought Sebastian regained control over himself. "Yes. I wanted to ask you.. if you would like to go with me… to the dancing… thing?”
“Smooth.” Ominis said with a cheeky smile.
You laughed at Ominis’ comment, making the whole ordeal very embarrassing for Sebastian. When you noticed Sebastian was really dying on the inside you reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. “I would love to go with you.” You gave him a kiss on the cheek that felt as soft as a feather.
“We should probably go. Potions will soon start.” You said trying to play it cool and calming the butterflies in your tummy.
***
The evening of the Hogsmeade dance went terribly wrong. You were all dressed up and ready to go. You headed towards your meeting spot and you were about to turn the last corner when you overheard Ominis and Sebastian talk. Ominis left and Sebastian turned around to see you peeking around the corner. He smiled his most charming smile at you, but you would not have it.
“You are unbelievable! You only asked me to the Hogsmeade dance to get out of detention?!” You yelled furiously. Sebastian was shocked, but he did not panic.
“To not get expelled.” Sebastian pointed out calmly.
You wanted to yell and curse, but you couldn’t find the words. So, you simply turned and headed back to the common room.
“Y/n, don’t go!” Sebastian ran after you. “I’m still the same Sebastian. We could still have fun at the dance.”
“Sebastian, you don’t understand. I thought you wanted to go to the dance with me, because you liked me.” You confessed feeling, you were so embarrassed. “So, be honest with me. If it wasn’t for my uncle’s request would you have asked me?”
Sebastian looked down at his shoes. “No, I wouldn’t.” You sighed as you heart ached, this night was a nightmare. “I don’t want to go the stupid dance. I want to take you the Undercroft and show you a ‘really’ good time.” Sebastian confessed, while he continued to study his shoe.
“What’s the Undercroft?” You asked and Sebastian looked up. Only a moment later you realized what else he had said. “What do you mean with a ‘really’ good time?”
“I can show you.” Sebastian answered with a smile. You were not quite sure if that was an answer to the first or the last question, but it didn’t really matter.
(❗️warning: smut ahead)
“This is the Undercroft.” He said as you both entered the room. “Curious.” You said as you took in the mysterious room. You looked at Sebastian with hungry eyes. Suddenly he pushed you into one of the pillars and lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around him and he started kissing you with fierce lust. One hand feeling up your breast, while his other hand slides under your dress to squeeze your ass. You completely surrendered to your instincts, pushing yourself into him and tangling your fingers in his hair.
You pushed him a bit off of you. “Are you sure no one will come up here?” You asked, while you took in his hungry look. “Do you think I would undress the headmaster’s niece here if I wasn’t entirely sure.” He said with a smug face while loosening his tie. “Undressing?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at his arrogance. With that question he turned you around and started biting and kissing you neck. You had to steady yourself against the pillar. Carefully he undid your dress and it elegantly slipped over your skin, falling on the floor.
At the sight of you in only your panties Sebastian led out something between a moan and groan. His pants were getting too tight. He pushed his middle against your ass to make sure you knew exactly how desperately he wanted you. Like the look in his eyes hadn’t already given that away. He kneaded your breast gently and kissed your neck like he owned you. You whipped your head back and allowed yourself to enjoy how well he was treating you. “Having a good time?” He asked in a whisper. “Could be better.” You said as you suggestively brought his hand to your panties.
“Demanding.” Sebastian noted as he smiled against your neck. “Your Hogwarts carrière depends on my night, remember.” You pointed out. Sebastian simply huffed and turned you around. He took off his shirt, giving himself some much needed air and you a good view. Your hand shamelessly feeling his chest. His lips quickly found a nipple to play with and his fingers were tormenting you as he ever so slowly entered a finger between your folds. You softly bucked your hips making clear to Sebastian that you were in need of more.
You moaned as Sebastian did all the right things to your body. His fingers found the right spot, making you arch your back. He smiled in amusement as he saw you surrender to him. Pulling his hair you brought his lips to yours demanding a kiss and he answered with more passion than you expected. He deserved more than he was getting right now and you wanted more of him anyway. Your hand slipped from his neck, to his chest and eventually his pants. He rubbed himself against your hand and you smiled against his lips.
He pulled out his fingers, kissing you reassuringly and picking you up to bring you to a sofa. He had once conjured the thing for comfortable reading and lonely moments that required his hand to do the work, never thinking he would ever get to lay there with someone, leave alone some as perfect as you. He put you down gently and took his pants off. As he helped you remove the one piece of clothing you were still wearing he worried how long he would last. You were driving him mad just laying there.
You brought his face to yours and kissed him gently, while your hand moved to his member giving it a few strokes. You noticed how he closed his in an attempt to keep control. His fingers once again moved between your legs, this time to simply check if you were ready for him, because he sure was ready for you. Once he confirmed your wetness he aligned himself perfectly with you. Though he looked hungry as placed himself between your legs, he looked up at you for a moment with a gentleness in his face. “May I?” He whispered. “Please.” You begged, still moaning under the control of his fingers. He entered rather forceful, his lust for the beauty in front of him taking control. He gave you a moment to adjust as he kissed you softly. While he leaned on one arm by your side, his free hand played with your breast and nipple. He started trusting at an eager pace and observed every noise and move you made to make sure he was pleasing you right.
Every time Sebastian hit your sensitive spot you opened you spread your legs a little bit more as a way of begging him for more. As he felt himself get closer he was rougher on you, squeezing your ass as he grabbed a hold of you to mercilessly pound into you. As if everything he did to your body wasn’t pushing you enough, his panting and moaning were sure to push you over the edge. As you were losing all control over your body you tried to hide your face in an attempt to keep some of your dignity as you lay there under him as a moaning naked mess. However, Sebastian would not have it. He quickly cupped your cheek and pecked your lips. As he noticed your embarrassment and how much control he had, an amused smile formed. He kissed your neck and whispered in your ear. “Come for me.” As you grabbed a handful of his hair to keep him close to you he listened to the most beautiful sound escaping your lips. Best assignment ever. Sebastian thought as he released himself.
As you both lay there tangled on the sofa, catching your breath, your mind started to wonder. For a straight A student you really had done a stupid thing. Sebastian was your long time crush, but you were just an assignment. You had been way to eager following him to this Undercroft. A sweet kiss on your cheek pulled you out of your thoughts. A smile replaced your worries. You allowed yourself to enjoy his warmth for as long as it would last.
Sebastian still hadn’t slipped out and just lazily lay half on top of you still somewhat supporting himself so he wouldn’t crush you. While it was taking a lot of him he tried to keep his eyes open and enjoy the view. “We should probably move.” You softly spook with hesitation in your voice. Sebastian nodded and you untangled yourself from him. Hating the feeling of him not inside of you and his warmth not all over you. You sat on the sofa shamefully looking for pieces of clothing, when Sebastian gently stroked your back. “Yeah. I should probably still take you that dance.” A smile tugged at his lips as you turned around with surprise all over your face. “You know, we need an alibi for this evening.” He kissed your shoulder as you again turned away from him. Couldn’t he just admit he wanted to spent more time with you. Nope, Sebastian Sallow was already planning your wedding, but it would take weeks before he would admit to you that you were more than an assignment from Headmaster Black.
On your way to Hogsmeade Sebastian reached out for your hand and squeezed it. You smiled, wondering if Sebastian’s assignment was really your uncle’s idea. Maybe it was your mother’s idea? However, neither would be pleased with the way it played out. But you definitely were.
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canisalbus · 6 months
Note
I hope this isn’t unwelcome but here are a few of my personal Vascete modern AU headcanons:
As a child, Vasco was usually voted as a team captain when playing sports with other kids. Not necessarily because of his sporting ability, but rather because of his leadership qualities and general agreeableness and ease with others.
Machete always uses perfect grammar when he texts, but can take a while to respond. Vasco often responds instantly but with less attention to grammar. Machete texts in unbroken paragraphs (when he has a lot to say) but Vasco’s texts come through in small, sporadic flurries.
Machete is very familiar with hospitals, particularly so in his childhood due to his various medical issues. As a result he actually finds their cleanliness, and the politeness of the doctors, comforting. These experiences also made him more patient than he might otherwise have been.
Vasco donates blood and is on an organ donor registry.
Machete always carries hand sanitiser around and is constantly offering it to Vasco, who always carries hand cream around, and is constantly offering it to Machete.
Both are well-versed in music and have refined musical tastes.
Vasco hums wholeheartedly whilst doing the dishes - a chore Machete likes to avoid where possible. Vasco knows this, so he pretends he doesn’t mind doing them.
Machete often has a headache and Vasco’s usual first response to this is to ask Machete if he’s had enough water today. He’s often right.
Vasco scarcely thinks of the other paths his life could have taken. Though he knows pain, he feels very fortunate for all the good he’s been dealt in life, and attributes his good luck mostly to happy accidents. Machete on the other hand has unexpected moments of stark awareness of all the possible forks in his road. It’s a sudden deja vu that creeps up on him when he’s alone, almost as if he can remember all of his and Vasco’s past/ potential lives together. The feeling vanishes just as soon as it arrives.
Hot dang anon I LOVE these. Unwelcome UNWELCOME? You come to my house and present me with thoughtful interpretations of my characters, I feel nourished.
I can definitely see Vasco being a popular choice for a team captain. He's physically active but not ultra sporty, and even though he can get excited and carried away, he's never been that competitive (he's got that 'I just hope both teams have fun' sort of vibe that people tend to like).
The texting bit is terribly cute. Vasco rapid firing message after message vs Machete intermittently slapping half an essay in the chat.
Machete is hypochondriac and his threshold for seeking threatment is low, especially if he's experiencing anything he's not already familiar with. To my understanding Italy has a good quality universal public healthcare, but he typically chooses to go with private sector anyway and has been investing in pricey health insurance for years (probably way more extensive than what is necessary or reasonable).
I also thought of Vasco as a habitual blood donor. He wouldn't like it per se (medical surroundings unnerve him), but I think he might just get a kick out of being a good boy and potentially helping people. (I know gay, bi and msm men used to be banned from donating (or at least severely restricted) but it looks like many countries have revised their criteria significantly in recent years and there's a good chance he'd be eligible these days.)
The hand sanitizer/hand cream combo is so good. It made me chuckle. (Are you a hand sanitizer person or a hand cream person?)
Their respective tastes in music and cinema have more overlap than you might initially think, and they keep aligning closer and closer over time.
Machete wouldn't like doing dishes. Having to touch wet food (weird texture + unhygienic) is bad times all around. But he genuinely enjoys a little bit of vacuuming, dusting, laundry and general tidying and organizing. He doesn't leave that much for Vasco to do, just the occasional visibly messy jobs that squick him out more than he cares to admit.
That's very considerate of him. That's a very considerate thing to do to anyone in general. Dehydration and low blood sugar can really sour your mood and you wouldn't even notice they were the reason you're feeling so bad all of a sudden. (When I'm having a difficult day I try to remember to ask myself whether things are truly collapsing or am I potentially just a little too thirsty and hungry and unaware of it. Usually it's the latter).
Ah yes, Machete and the horrors. Vasco might be aware of the horrors as well, but perhaps he possesses the specific kind of galaxy brain that is near immune to this particular flavor of existential dread.
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taesankisser · 10 months
Text
HEY DARLIN’ (repost)
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bf!seungmin x gf!reader (wc: 1k-ish)
summary: after a day full of stress and exhaustion, y/n goes home to her loving sweet boyfriend, who is always ready to comfort her <3
song rec: hey darlin by fantastics from exile tribe
warnings: disgustingly sweet fluff, lots of physical touch, mention of food, reader lies on top of minnie (?), tickling, they’re so in love it’s kinda yucky (being in love?? in this economy??)
today had been a hard day for so many reasons, and it seemed like it was just one thing after the other. you felt so frustrated with your circumstances and exhausted from the trouble that the day had brought you. all you wanted was to go home and melt into the arms of your loving boyfriend. you made your way up to your shared apartment thinking about how good it’s going to feel to finally be in his presence.
when you opened the door, there he was. sitting on the couch, waiting for you like he always did. your worries and stress from the day completely dissolved into nothing the second you laid eyes on him. he wasn’t even doing anything, just on the couch lounging around, but he already helped you feel better just by being there looking so content.
“welcome home!” he said calmly as he started getting up, probably to hug you. that was something you really cherished about him. he was always so relaxed and laid back. he was excited to see you, of course, but he never felt the need to make a big huge deal over it. he would always greet you gently and make an effort to make sure you got a welcome home hug. he was like the personification of comfort in your eyes, and you loved him so very much.
“no, no, stay, let me just-“ you said as you quickly set your things down, took your shoes off, and made your way to him. he gave you a confused look while halfway off the couch to which you just gave him a tired smile.
“puppy pile?” he questioned.
“puppy pile.” you affirmed his suspicion. he immediately relaxed his body into a comfortable position on the couch with his arms open, waiting for you again. you then straddled his waist, wrapped your arms around his body, and leaned your upper body against his. you fully hugged him with your head completely smushed into his neck.
“i’m in love with you.” you admitted to the boy beneath you as you tried to hold him tighter as if he was going to disappear suddenly. you felt his chest rumble as he began to laugh sweetly at you. you felt your heart pound at the sound, at the feeling. it was one of your favorite things while cuddling to be able to feel him laugh. it was a moment that was so intimate, so precious to you.
“i won’t be able to breathe if you hold me any tighter, baby”
“close isn’t close enough.” you pouted into his neck, while he smiled at you.
“i agree, but i also need to breathe!” he continued to laugh at you.
“if you hate me just say it, kim seungmin.”
“i love you, y/n” he said as he looked down at you with such sincerity in his eyes and a lovestruck grin plastered on his face. you looked up at him and saw the look of pure adoration in his eyes. you felt so loved that it made you shy, so you started giggling, then squeaked out an “i know” back to him. you snuggled into him again, while he gently rubbed your back. you wish you could bottle this moment and keep forever. this is exactly what you needed after the kind of day you had. you were so grateful you could always count on seungmin to be there to bring you peace.
the two of you lied like that for a while, basking in each other’s touch without feeling the need to say much. you were home. physically, yes you were definitely at home, but mentally your home wasn’t just a place. your home was kim seungmin. he was your safe person, and the reason for your happiness. every stressor lost its meaning when you were with him. when you were with your home, you had nothing to worry about. he was someone that made you stay in the moment, he kept you so grounded. you felt like nothing could hurt you, no matter emotionally or physically, when you had him by your side. you were deep in thought, thinking about how much the man beneath you meant to you, when he tore you from it all.
“y/n, should we eat something? it’s dinner time!” he said as he checked his phone, you two had been lying there for much longer than you thought.
“oh yeah, we probably should!”
“what would you like, my love?”
“doesn’t matter to me!”
“how about your favorite?”
“ugh, kim seungmin, you’re the man of my dreams”
“i know right?” he responded with a smirk and you gasped in shock at him. he always had so much audacity it caught you off guard sometimes. you gently tapped him on the head as a way to reprimand him.
“watch it, i might fall out of love with you.”
“that’s literally impossible.”
“i mean-”
“i’m right, admit it!”
“no!”
“i am so right!”
“nuh-uh”
“yuh-huh” he made an exaggerated facial expression at your refusal. the whole thing just made you two break out in giggles.
“you love me. you’re sooo in love with me!” he said as he stuck his tongue out.
“yeah right!” you lied through your teeth. he was absolutely correct, and knew it too.
“i know what will get the truth out of you.” he said as he sat up, which made you sit up on his lap, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“what?”
“i have a way-”
“NO PLEASE!”
“WITH TORTURE!” he said as he switched your positions so you were underneath him. he straddled your own body, so you had no way of moving, then began ruthlessly tickling you. you couldn’t stop laughing, it was almost painful, but you enjoyed every second of this moment with the person you loved the most.
“SAY IT! admit you love me!”
“NO!”
“say it or else!” he said as he persisted his tickle attack. he got a specifically sensitive spot that made you cave.
“OKAY! ENOUGH! I’M DYING! i love you or whatever.”
“or whatever? you’re so lame.” he said as he made a displeased face and continued his torture. the whole time, though, you were laughing.
“i love you, kim seungmin.”
“as you should.” he nodded as he stopped his attack and leaned down to kiss you. you didn’t have time to react to his matter-of-fact statement as he kissed you. his lips felt heavenly on yours. you melted into the kiss, into him, and were reminded of the fact that everything will be okay. everything will be okay because you have him by your side, and that’s more than enough.
END!
author’s note: u guys liked this sm on my old acc that i just had to repost it so it wasn’t gone forever! hehe i hope you enjoy and have a great day/night!
-lots of love, solar
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androids-insides · 11 months
Text
Another thing I’d like to explain! What can I say, I like explaining things ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Todays explanation is on my theories (I guess?) on, you guessed it:
The Stanley Parable!
(I like other things, I swear! I’m just very irrationally afraid that everyone who follows me won’t like the other things, so I usually don’t post about it :,] )
A summary, so I don’t lose your attention, is that I like to think that most theories are correct! Now, allow me to explain! (Yes there will be pictures)
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Put in different terms, all endings are “cannon,” in what they imply. For example,
This is a helpful and much needed picture of Stanley and The Narrator.
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From here, the story could go anywhere! From following directions, to jumping out a window, anything and everything is on the metaphorical table.
This is the Confusion Ending. Here, The Narrator had a story and a point to it all, but has lost his control to a yellow line^tm and self-contradicting revelations.
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One of the few examples where The Narrator has no control. The story, the parable and the outcomes are all at someone, or something, else’s command. This is currently cannon.
This, however, is the Countdown Ending. Here, everything had gone exactly to plan, aside from Stanley’s last decision. The Narrator, seemingly on a whim, rewrites the ending in a moment, and has the omnipotence to detonate the entire facility.
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At this point, The Narrator is in control of everything. Nothing stands in his way from destroying both Stanley and the story’s outcome. There is no question of who or what has altered the story, as it is most certainly The Narrator himself. This is currently cannon.
If that understands it, then let it be. In some endings, The Narrator is the only one who controls the story, in others, control is left to someone/thing else. In some Stanley has a wife and a kid, and in others he’s just a boring no-body (or, no legs at least). In some The Narrator works the boring office job and created Stanley to entertain himself, in others Stanley miraculously became part of a dark and twisted game that both gave his life meaning and took it away.
On a cosmic scale of “what is the parable and where did it come from,” I honestly think there is no real answer. It’s lazy, I know, but hear me out:
Think of it as Past, Present, Future. We, as spectators or consumers, know very clearly where the story currently is. As well as that, we know several of the ways that it ends. We know it started at some point, is currently existing, and will stop existing after that loading screen, right?
Each ending answers the burning question of “what about before this?” However because of the inconsistent variation, there can’t really be a solid answer. We arrived at the middle of the story, where Stanley works in a big office building and decides to try and figure out where his coworkers went. We don’t know how long Stanley and The Narrator have been in this loop, as it is, you can play The Stanley Parable as many times over as you want. Therefore, the beginning can really only be where we know the story picks up, which is at a time where there is no definitive answer of What came first, The Narrator or The Stanley. A question that no one can truly answer.
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It’s sort of like the concept of Gender Fluidity, in a way. Where however the person feels that day is their decided gender, is as to however The Parable ends is how it begins. In conclusion, The Stanley Parable plot is a close second Gender Fluid icon, right behind Nimona.
Joking put briefly aside, I think The Parable is just a huge concept. Did/can/could Stanley talk at some point? Maybe. Isn’t The Narrator supposed to be the “physical” representation of divorce? Probably. Is The Narrator a figment of Stanley’s imagination, or the other way around? Who knows. All I can guarantee, is that the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never
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corroded-hellfire · 1 year
Note
Where the heart is.... maybe keeping in theme of first holidays and how Eddie wants to surprise the reader for their first valentines day.
Happy 2k!!!
+ valentines day in the where the heart is universe? i love them so much 🥹
I love that I got the same request in the same universe twice! I hope you enjoy this little Valentine’s Day story. Many thanks to @munson-blurbs for helping me so much with this 💚
In the same universe as Where the Heart Is
Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), oral m and f receiving
Words: 5.5k
[Where the Heart Is masterlist]
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When your alarm blares at eight o’clock in the morning, you groan and shove your head underneath the pillow. Unfortunately, that doesn’t shut it off, so you flail your arm around until you’ve managed to silence it. Shelby huffs from her bed across the room and you mentally give her the finger. Her eyes are still closed so you could’ve physically done it, but you don’t have the energy to lift your hand. You and Eddie had been on the phone until midnight last night, both of you insisting you had to be talking to one another the moment it went from February 13th to February 14th.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” he’d said.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Eddie.”
Usually, you’re very conscientious about getting off the phone so your roommate can go to sleep, but just this once Shelby could deal with it. 
But now, even though you don’t regret being on the phone for a moment with Eddie, you wish you could sleep in just a few more minutes. Begrudgingly taking your head out from underneath your pillow, you roll onto your back and take a look at your clock. Eight o’clock. Eddie should be awake now, his shift starting in an hour at the garage. He’d probably have a few minutes free to talk, but you know you’d probably both end up being late for your obligations today. 
With a sigh, you push yourself out of bed and shuffle over to your closet. The tile floor is freezing against your socked feet, and you take a peek out the window to see that it’s snowing pretty heavily outside. The heaviest sweater you own is pink, which works out perfectly for the holiday. You pair it with your thickest jeans and the warmest brown boots in your closet. 
As you’re running a brush through your hair, Shelby startles you by sitting up in her bed with a loud groan. 
“Thank God it’s Friday,” she says with a sigh. 
You hum in agreement, one last yawn sneaking its way out of your mouth. Opening your jewelry box, you take out the charm bracelet that Eddie gave you for Christmas and secure it on your wrist. 
“I’ll see you later,” you say, shrugging on your coat. Shelby gives you a two-finger wave as you sling your backpack on. 
Luckily, you only have the one class on Friday’s, and it was probably your favorite – abnormal psychology. Also luckily on this blisteringly cold day, the Psychology building isn’t too far of a walk from your dorm building. Once you’re comfortably seated in the blissfully warm lecture hall, you notice most students are wearing red or pink, all decked out for the holiday. A couple a few rows in front of you is holding hands. You rest your elbow on the table next to your notebook, propping up your chin as you let out a melancholy sigh. 
This is the first time you’ve had a Valentine, and you know without a doubt that you have the best one. But he’s a thousand miles away, curls probably tied in a bun at the base of his neck as he works under the hood of a car. Every second is going to tick by slower than ever until you get to talk to him tonight. 
The class is interesting as always though, so it manages to keep your mind engaged enough not to fixate on missing your boyfriend. It’s snowing even harder than before class when you step out of the psychology building, heading toward the dining hall. Nancy’s class ends ten minutes before yours so she’s probably already in there waiting for you, getting toasty after being out in the bitter cold. But as you approach the large glass doors, Nancy is hurrying out, mouth chewing on something.
“Nance? What’s up?” you ask. She covers her mouth as she finishes the food in her mouth before speaking.
“I’m so sorry, I can’t do lunch today. Emergency at the student paper. I only had time to grab a quick sandwich.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” you assure her. “I’ll see you for dinner?” 
“Definitely,” she says, giving you one last apologetic look before she heads off, tightening her cream colored coat around her small frame. 
It was moments like these that the book in your backpack came in handy. You didn’t mind eating alone, but you also needed something to focus on other than your food. The hall looks more crowded than usual today, probably because everyone wants to get out of the cold. You’re quick to pick up a bowl of steaming hot mac and cheese and nestle yourself into a corner table where you can look out onto the falling snow. 
After the first bite fills your frigid body with some much needed heat, you reach into your bag to pull out your copy of Pride and Prejudice when a voice sounds from behind you.
“Is this seat free?”
On instinct you’re about to say that it is, but your mind catches up to your ears and realizes you know that voice. Your head whips around so quickly that your own hair smacks you in the face. Shaking it from your eyes, you look up to see the grinning face of your boyfriend.
“Eddie!” You leap up and throw your arms around his neck. He laughs and wraps you up in his arms, lifting you so that the toes of your boots are barely brushing the ground. 
“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” he says in your ear. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he sets you back down. You take his face in your hands, mind having trouble putting the pieces together that he’s standing here in front of you. 
“Happy Valentine's Day,” you say, voice still sounding dazed. “You’re here.”
“Of course I’m here. Couldn’t let today go by without seeing my best girl.” Eddie cups your jaw in his large hands, leaning in to press his lips to yours. The questions swirl through your mind, one after the other, wondering when he got here and how long he’s been planning everything. But none of it seems to matter when his mouth is on yours. 
“You’re done with classes for the day, right?” Eddie asks once you’ve pulled away for air.
“I am. Wait.” You raise an eyebrow at him, and a mischievous smile comes to your lips. “Are you why Nancy suddenly couldn’t have lunch with me?”
“Maybe.” Eddie shrugs, a shit eating grin on his face. “Now, come on. Let’s finish your lunch so we can get over to the hotel.”
“Hotel?” you ask as you sit back down. “Wait.” You laugh as Eddie sits down next to you. “Did you say ‘let’s’ finish, as in you too?”
“Yes and yes,” Eddie says, grabbing your fork and shoveling a mouthful of mac and cheese into his maw.
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When you get back to your dorm to pack for your weekend hotel adventure with Eddie, there’s a vase of yellow roses next to Shelby’s bed.
“Wonder who sent those,” you say as you pull a bag out from under your bed. “She and Joey broke up weeks ago.”
“I brought them,” Eddie says. Hand on the closet door, you pause and frown in confusion.
“For Shelby?”
“Yeah.” He slides his hand into his pockets and nods his head towards the flowers. “The guy at the flower place said yellow is for friendship. I dropped those off here before coming to find you. Figured she could use some cheering up since the breakup.”
The fact that Eddie not only was thoughtful enough to bring your annoying roommate flowers, but that he remembered she’d just gone through a breakup makes your heart swell. Eddie Munson was truly the kindest person you had ever met and the fact that you got to be his girlfriend made you feel giddier than all the champagne in the world could. Pausing your packing, you grab the sides of Eddie’s face and pull his lips to yours.
“You’re the sweetest man alive,” you whisper against his lips. Eddie chuckles and gives you another quick peck.
“Don’t worry, baby. Got you flowers too.”
Truthfully, that hadn’t even crossed your mind. But of course he had. 
“Where are they?” you ask.
“Hotel,” he says with a wink as he slides his hands onto your hips. “Can I pick out your underwear for the weekend?”
The devious look on his face as you flushing.
“And my bras too? And what about pajamas?”
“Sure, I’ll pick out your bras, too.” Eddie leans in and presses a kiss to the side of your neck. “But I don’t think you’ll need pajamas.”
“What should I wear to sleep then?” you ask, giving Eddie the most innocent look you can manage. 
“I was thinking nothing,” Eddie says with a shrug.
“Hmm,” you hum as you take a few steps over to your dresser. “You may want to rethink that.” Out from the top drawer you pull a skimpy negligee you’d spotted at the mall a few weeks ago. The pinkish purple silk has lace lining the neckline and the hem, a pretty pale pink. Perfect for Valentine's Day. 
“Shit.” Eddie’s eyes grow wide and darker as he looks at the bit of material hanging from your fingers. “Okay, yeah. Start the night in that. End in nothing.”
“Good compromise,” you tease as you toss the nighty into your bag. “Now hurry and pick out your favorite pairs of my underwear.”
“Challenge accepted.” Eddie rubs his hands together as he walks over to your delicates drawer.
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In your car on the way to the hotel you pepper Eddie with the questions that have been buzzing through your mind since he appeared in the dining hall.
“When did you get here?”
“A few hours ago.”
“Did you get any sleep after we hung up last night?”
“A little. And I slept on the plane.” 
“How long are you here?”
“Fly home Sunday night.”
“Why’d you get a hotel?”
“Really, babe? Besides the fact that I didn’t feel like getting complaints from your RA when I make you moan too loud?” He pauses with a laugh as you reach over to swat at him. “I knew Shelby wouldn’t be staying with her boyfriend since she doesn’t have one anymore and I wasn’t about to give her a free sex show.”
The hotel room is small, but it’s clean, warm, and has a bed. That’s all that matters to you. And just as he promised, there’s a vase that’s stuffed to the gills with red roses sitting on the bedside table. The sight brings tears to your eyes as you drop your bag on the bed. No one has ever gotten you flowers before, let alone roses. 
“Eddie, they’re beautiful.”
He slips up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. You feel his hot breath brush against your ear as he rests his chin on your shoulder.
“Fitting for the most beautiful girl.”
There’s a large box of chocolates next to the flowers, a bright red ribbon tied around the cardboard heart. You rest your head back against your boyfriend’s shoulder and turn your head to kiss his cheek.
“How many of those candies are missing, hmm?” you ask. A squeal of laughter leaves your lips as Eddie digs his fingers into the softness of your tummy.
“Not one, thank you very much,” he says as he tickles you. “Maybe if you’re nice to me I’ll feed them to you. Like you see on the covers of those sappy romance books.”
“The ones where the men’s nipples are always showing?” you ask as you start to playfully fight with him, pulling out of his arms to escape his clutches. 
“I’ll be shirtless for it if you want me to,” Eddie says. He tugs on your coat sleeve but with one quick unbuttoning, you’re sliding out of the garment completely, leaving Eddie there standing with your coat in his hands. You kick off your boots, Eddie following your lead, and you kick them into the corner so no one can trip on them. Eddie rids himself of his leather jacket, tossing both it and your coat onto the single chair in the room. 
Making your way back over to your boyfriend, you start to push him onto the bed and shock paints your face when he shakes his head. 
“I know you’ve got that sexy lingerie in there,” he murmurs into your ear and motions to your duffel bag. “Go put it on f’me, yeah?”
“I was saving it for tonight,” you pout, jutting out your lower lip in protest. 
Eddie just laughs. “No time like the present, baby.”
“I expect you to be a lot closer to being naked than you are right now when I come out of that bathroom,” you tell him as you pick up your bag. He gives you a salute before you walk into the bathroom and close the door behind you. 
When you take off your soft warm sweater a chill enters your bones. Wearing less, and then no, clothing doesn’t faze you though, even in the middle of February. There’s not a doubt in your mind that Eddie is going to warm you up. But as you strip out of your jeans and socks, you let out a hiss through your teeth as you see you haven’t shaved your legs. 
“Uh, Eds?” you call as you creak open the bathroom door.
“What’s up?”
“I, uh, didn’t shave my legs,” you admit, heat gathering in your cheeks. “Didn’t know you’d be here. Haven’t been wearing shorts.”
Eddie just laughs, the booming sound making your tummy tumble. “Babe, I don’t care if you’ve got some stubble. Shit, I don’t care if you have longer leg hair than I do. Just come out here so I can kiss you and shit.”
“So romantic,” you say with a scoff, regarding his last sentence. But really, the fact that Eddie doesn’t care if your legs are perfectly smooth or not makes him even more amazing in your book. 
The silk of the negligee feels nice as it hits your skin, sending goosebumps over your chest and down your arms. You turn your head upside down to shake out your hair, hoping to give it some volume. It won’t matter how it looks because it’ll either be in Eddie’s hands or pressed into a pillow in a few minutes, but it’s the principle of the thing. 
When you step out of the bathroom, the floor is biting cold against your bare feet. Trying to ignore the chill, you try to walk slower and sexier. A “sexy” walk isn’t something that’s generally taught, so you’re doubting yourself the whole way towards the bed. But when Eddie’s eyes land on you, they light up. Suddenly, there’s a pressure behind your eyes. Tears could start streaming at any moment and your body starts to feel warm from the inside out. Because all of a sudden you know. You know that it doesn’t matter that you haven’t shaved your legs. It doesn’t matter that your hair might be a little messy after trying to fluff it up. It doesn’t matter if the walk you were just doing looked stupid. Because Eddie doesn’t see any of that. He sees you and it makes you feel safe in a way you never knew you needed. 
The tears don’t come but the feeling of safety and belonging doesn’t wane. Your eyes take in Eddie’s figure on the bed, shirt off – pink and white scars that you’ve come to love and memorize on full display – belt undone and fly unzipped, ready for you to strip him right down. 
“There’s my sexy Valentine,” Eddie says, eyes still drinking you in. 
Giving him a shy smile, you walk over and tug on the ends of his black jeans. He lifts his hips for you so can slide them all the way off. “Boxers too, mister.”
Eddie rids himself of his boxers and you feel a significant surge of wetness between your legs as you’re greeted by his long pretty cock. It’s been inside you dozens of times now, but you still get that bubbly feeling whenever you see it.
“Staring might not be polite, but I like when you do it.” 
Eddie’s words have your eyes meeting his, a smirk on his face while yours is growing warmer. He holds out his hand for you and you take it, letting him guide you onto the bed next to him. Fingers tracing down the bare skin of his arm, you cuddle up to his side and press soft sweet kisses along his neck. 
“You’re so pretty,” you mumble absentmindedly against his skin. A pretty pink hue creeps up his neck, even coloring his ears at your words. A strong calloused hand comes down to rest on your thigh, thumb stroking lovingly on the inner part of your leg. “What do you want first, baby?”
“First, I wanted you in this,” Eddie says, finger coming up to tangle in the piece of lace at the bottom of the nighty. “Now, I want to taste that pretty pussy of yours. Been thinking about it all day.”
“Oh yeah?” you ask, looking at him from underneath your lashes. Eddie takes your hand and places your palm right on top of his cock.
“Been half hard all day just thinking about it. But you wearing this while I eat you out? Shit baby, we’re going to have to go a few rounds because I’m telling you right now, I’m not going to be able to last long.”
“Better get to work then,” you say, shooting Eddie a smirk as you settle back against the pillows. He rolls over onto his stomach and slides down the blue floral duvet. When you spread your legs for him, he lets out a groan that sounds like it deflated all the air from his body. 
He takes your words to heart, wasting no time throwing your leg over his shoulder and moving your other one to the side, giving him the perfect view of how wet you already are for him. Slowly, Eddie moves his body up closer to yours. Large hands grab at the bottom of your lingerie and Eddie’s pushing it up, so it gathers around your waist. He didn’t want anything to get in between him and his prize. 
Eddie places a few kisses up your thighs, but he knows they’ll be plenty of time for teasing later. He may only be in town for two nights, but he was going to make every second count. A hand is braced on each inner thigh, hard enough for you to find finger shaped bruises in the morning. He dips his head in, taking his first taste of you in weeks. How was it possible that your slick on his tongue was even sweeter than he remembered? As he goes in for another swipe of his tongue, your hand grips the duvet below you. His flicks his tongue against your clit, causing you to let out the smallest of whimpers. Always encouraged by the pretty sounds you make, Eddie keeps the attention on your clit, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on the small bud. 
“Eddie,” you whine, and Eddie feels his cock twitch where it’s trapped between his body and the mattress. 
“What is it, princess?”
“Feels so good.”
That makes Eddie smile against your pussy, pressing a few soft kisses to the area before slipping his tongue inside of you. The feeling of the wet warm muscle entering you makes your back arch off the bed and Eddie uses one strong arm across your pelvis to keep your hips in place. 
“I missed this, baby,” Eddie says before delving back into your hole. 
“M-Me too.” You don’t have the mental fortitude to keep up a conversation when your boyfriend’s head is buried between your legs. 
“So wet,” Eddie muses, mostly to himself, as he pulls away and some of your slick keeps his chin connected to your throbbing cunt. 
Adjusting his position to make himself more comfortable, Eddie wraps an arm around each of your thighs, pulling you closer to him as his tongue starts to really work you. He alternates between licks and sucking on your clit, never letting your dripping hole go too without attention either. He slips two fingers into you with no resistance and begins to hunt for that place inside that he knows drives you wild. It doesn’t take him long to find it; Eddie was a quick study when it came to learning your body and how to make it feel good. 
Curling his fingers up has you keening, your boyfriend smiling in satisfaction at making you feel this good. It only takes a few rough strokes of his fingers before your hands are scrambling for purchase on the bed.
“Eds, I’m gonna - shit I’m,” you moan out.
“I’ve got you baby,” Eddie assures you, lips still against your clit. “Let go. Cum for me.”
That’s all you need to hear before your legs are closing around Eddie’s head and your walls are clenching around his thick fingers. He works you through your orgasm, wanting you to get every last bit of enjoyment out of it. 
“There we go,” Eddie says as he slips his fingers out of you. “How was that, princess?”
It’s with heavy lidded eyes that you watch Eddie bring his fingers up to his lips and suck your slick from them. The sight of it has another moan slipping free from you.
“Was s’good, baby,” you say as you try to catch your breath. “But I need your cock.” 
“Anything for you, sweetheart.” Eddie crawls up your body and presses his lips softly against yours, the intimacy of it making your tummy buzz. 
A pale arm reaches over to the bedside table, fumbling with a square box behind the heart shaped one. Eddie’s deft thick fingers pluck a condom from it and the foil crinkles as he works it open. 
“Hey.” There’s a smile on your face as you catch Eddie’s wrist in your hand. 
“What’s up?” he asks, brow pinching in concern.
“We, uh, we don’t really need that,” you say, eyes glancing down at the condom. “I figured it would be a surprise when I saw you over Spring Break, but I guess now works too.”
“Surprise me with what?” Eddie asks. His eyes dart down to your stomach, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.
“I’m not pregnant,” you say with a laugh. “I started taking the pill.”
“Oh. Well, fuck this thing then.” Eddie tosses the condom over his shoulder and cups your face in his hands as you laugh some more at his antics. He presses a few tender kisses to your lips, smiling against your mouth. “Shit, can’t believe I get to feel all of you, baby.”
“Mm, that’s what I wanted,” you say as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Good surprise?”
“Amazing surprise,” Eddie says, trailing the kisses down to your neck. You decide to throw another little surprise Eddie’s way as you hook your ankles where they rest just below his ass and roll the pair of you over until you’re on top of him. 
Eddie’s hair is splayed out on the pillow around him, a dark halo of curls, and looks up at you with lust blown eyes, pupils swallowing the brown. 
“Wanna ride you,” you say. Mouth hanging open but no sound coming out, Eddie just nods his head at you, causing you to giggle. “No words, baby?”
He takes a few breaths and licks over his lips before speaking. “You’re on top of me. Wearing that. Saying you want to ride me. I have no thoughts in my head right now.”
With a laugh, you lean down and rest your forehead against his. “You’re adorable.”
Rising up on your knees, you take Eddie’s cock in your hand and line him up with your entrance. Both of your mouths drop open as you sink down on him, a whimper coming from you as Eddie squeezes his eyes closed.
“Shit, I didn’t think it could get any better,” Eddie says. “But fuck, feeling you is perfect.”
“Uh huh,” you pant out as you nod your head in agreement. Finally sinking all the way down on him, you place your hands on Eddie’s chest to give yourself a moment to adjust. Fingertips dig into his scars and his hands come up to rest on your hips. 
The first roll of your hips has Eddie releasing a groan from the back of his throat, his thumbs digging into your hip bones. The way his head tilts back, revealing the pale expanse of his neck to you has you rolling your hips a little bit harder. The muscles are straining, and you can see a vein throbbing on the side of his neck. The temptation is too strong, and you find yourself leaning down and running your tongue from between Eddie’s collar bones, up his neck, and all the way to the light stubble coating his chin. The thin sheen of sweat on his skin leaves a salty taste in your mouth. 
He grins up at you, a hungry gleam in his eye. The look sends a flare through your body, landing straight between your legs, making your walls clench around him.
“Fuck,” Eddie spits out. Only encouraged by his reactions, your hips pick up the pace. Your boyfriend is a moaning, panting mess underneath you and it’s only driving you crazier. Lifting off of him before slamming back down had Eddie’s eyes rolling back in his head. Your self-satisfaction only grows when you see the tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. Swiping one up with your thumb, you pop the digit into your mouth, leaving Eddie even more of a whining mess.
“M’close,” Eddie says. He manages to take a deep breath before gripping your hips even tighter, making the drag of your clit over his pubic bone even more delicious. 
“Feels good, Eddie.”
“Yeah, baby?” he asks through his tightened jaw.
“Mhmm. Close,” you say.
Eddie rocks his hips up into yours, sliding your bundle of nerves against his skin over and over. 
“Shit, babe – fuck, I’m coming.”
Eddie finishing had always felt amazing before, even with the barrier of the condom between you. But with nothing separating the two of you, feeling the warmth of his cum as he came inside of you has you gripping onto his skin like a lifeline as you fall over the edge of the cliff into your own orgasm. Bodies moving together as you both ride out your highs, your muscles weaken, and Eddie holds you against his body. The only movement that occurs once you're both spent is the rapid rising and falling of your chests as you try and catch your breaths. 
“Wow.” Eddie is the first to break the silence. 
“Yeah,” you agree. With a cheeky smile on your face, you turn to rest your chin on Eddie’s chest, looking up at him. “Hey Eds?”
“Mm?” he hums.
“Were you crying?” you ask. 
He tilts his head down to meet your eyes, cheeks blooming pink. 
“S’your fucking fault,” he mumbles, making you laugh.
“Excuse me?” you ask.
“Pussy’s just that good,” he says with a shrug. 
You break into another round of giggles and bury your head in his chest. Eddie presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Best Valentine’s Day ever.”
“I agree.”
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The rest of the day is spent holed up in your room. Eddie opens the curtains – once you’re both properly clothed – so you can watch the snow, which has now gathered into a couple inches on the ground. The television has Star Wars playing but neither of you are paying attention to it as you lay with your head in Eddie’s lap, talking and giggling with him in between bites of the chocolate candies he’s feeding you. 
You get a pizza delivered for dinner and stay snuggled up in the bed as you eat it, napkins scattered all around so neither of you gets grease on anything. The bathtub isn’t big, but the two of you make it work when you decide to sit in the hot water together – and then maybe make a bit of a mess when you fool around in there. When you get back into the bed, the blankets are soft and inviting as you curl into one another. 
By the time Sunday comes around and it’s time to check out, you’re informed by the front desk that no planes will be taking off due to the amount of snow on the ground. They tell you there’s been a state of emergency declared. Since Eddie’s flight is canceled, the hotel comps your room for the night, giving you two the chance to spend even more time together. Eddie’s thrilled as the two of you bound back into the hotel room.
“Work can’t get mad at me because it’s a state of emergency,” Eddie says as he tosses his body onto the bed. He makes grabby hands at you. “And I get more time with my girl.”
As you step up to the bed, Eddie whips a pillow up from behind him and whacks you in the stomach with it. You bend over, laughter bubbling out of you as you take in the shit eating grin on his face.
“Asshole!” You snatch up another pillow and toss it at his head. He grabs you around the middle and pulls you down on top of him, both of you laughing as you wriggle around. 
“Good thing we don’t need condoms, or we would’ve run out by now,” Eddie says as he pins you down beneath him. “And who knows how long we’ll be snowed in?”
“Speaking of which,” you say, poking him in the chest. “You should call Wayne and tell him.”
Eddie groans and drops his head forward.
“Well, there goes my boner,” he says, making you giggle.
“I’m sure I can bring it back after you get off the phone,” you assure him. With a sigh, he rolls off of you and grabs the phone. He puts the receiver up to his ear and punches in the number as you stand up from the bed, a mischievous idea getting the better of you. 
Eddie sits facing the window, which you take a moment to glance out of before you spin towards him and get down on your knees. Raising his eyebrows at you, Eddie waits for Wayne to answer the phone. And so do you. The moment you hear the older man’s gruff voice coming through the phone, you pop the button on Eddie’s jeans and pull down his fly. 
“Uh, hi, Wayne,” Eddie says, eyes widening as he looks down at you. What are you doing? he mouths at you. You hope he isn’t expecting you to answer him, as you feel it’s pretty obvious, as you reach into his boxers and pull his cock free.
“Y-Yeah, I’m here. Um.” Eddie looks up at the ceiling, trying to ignore you. “So, there’s a state of emergency here cause of all the s-snow.”
It’s hard to contain a laugh as you give a few kitten licks to the head and Eddie fists the duvet in his hand. 
“Right, exactly. Ah! No, n-no, I’m fine.” Eddie clears his throat, glaring down at you and you start to take him into your mouth. 
“No, they’re comping the room.”
Giving a few harsh sucks to the head, you pull off and run your tongue along the vein on the underside of his dick.
“I guess I-I’ll call tomorrow and see-see what’s going on.”
Eddie squeezes his eyes closed and drops his head back, trying to ignore the sinful way your tongue is working over him. 
“How is she? Oh, she’s fucking amazing. I mean, I-I mean she’s good.”
You have to pull yourself away and stifle a laugh into your hand before you can get back to teasing him. When you wrap your fingers around him, Eddie doesn’t know if he wants you to stop or not. 
“Yeah, I’ll let you know when I-I do. Okay, Wayne. Shit – bye!”
Eddie slams the phone down and you fall back onto the floor, consumed with giggles. 
“Oh, you’re in trouble now,” Eddie says as he slides onto the floor next to you. You’re laughing too hard to answer him, so he swings one leg over you and sits on your hips. He pins your hands above your head and raises an eyebrow at you. “Think you’re funny, huh?”
“Yes,” you say between bouts of laughter. 
“I don’t know if you’re lucky or not that you’re stuck with me for at least another day,” Eddie says, tilting his head to the side. “Because I think I’m about to tease the hell out of you for hours.” 
375 notes · View notes
vodika-vibes · 8 months
Text
How to Get Away With Murder
Summary: When Commander Fox burst into your office before lunch one day, you think that he's coming to steal you away for a midday rendezvous, as per the norm for your relationship. But he has something else up his sleeve.
Pairing: Commander Fox x Reader
Word Count: 1124
Warnings: Uh, some generally decent people planning murder
Tagging: @trixie2023
A/N: I was feeling the urge to write Fox, so I did. Also, today I learned the difference between a hit and an assassination. An assassination is always politically or religiously motivate. A hit is just a murder.
Divider by Saradika
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Commander Fox, the love of your life, leans across your desk, a shit eating grin on his handsome face, and you can’t help but think that his time working under Palpatine finally caused him to crack. Of course, that’s also assuming that he wasn’t a little bit cracked when he first came to Coruscant. Which, knowing him, he probably was.
You lean back in your chair and eye your Commander warily, “Why are you in such a good mood?” 
“I have a brilliant idea.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t want to be involved,” You reply immediately, seeing as his brilliant plans tend to involve a degree of risk that you’re not sure you like or not.
Of course, you seem to be physically unable to say no to Fox.
He leans back in the other chair, his wide grin turning into a smug smirk, “Yeah, you do.”
You mentally curse him, and rest your chin on the palm of your hand, “Fine. What’s the plan?”
“We’re going to kill the Supreme Chancellor.” Fox replies blithely. 
“Is…isn’t that treason?” You ask. Tellingly, that’s your only concern.
“They can elect another one. One that isn’t corrupt. Like you.” Fox replies, and then he hops to his feet and walks around your desk and pulls you to your feet, intentionally tugging you so that you’re flush against him, “It’ll be fun~” He coos right in your ear.
You shiver, and then tilt your head back so you’re able to look right in his eyes, “Murder isn’t fun.”
“It is if you do it right.” He grins and presses a quick kiss to your lips, “Come on, babe. We have work to do.” Fox takes your unprotesting hand and pulls you out of your office, “Besides, if we do this right, then me and my brothers get rights, and I can finally stop listening to Thorn bitch over the fact that he can’t kiss his girlfriend.”
“Wait,” You hurry to keep up with his much longer legs, “Thorn has a girlfriend?”
“Yup. But he can never see her because the Chancellor is an abusive asshole.” Fox replies.
“Then how do you have time to come and see me?” You ask as you half jog to keep up with him.
“You, cyare, are a senator. Which means I can just walk my happy ass into your office and take what I need.” Fox replies with a small smirk.
“I wish you wouldn’t say it like that,” You grumble.
“Am I wrong?”
“No. I just wish you wouldn’t say it in such a disgusting way.” You reply.
He laughs, a warm sound that never fails to make you smile at him like a lovesick schoolgirl. Fox favors you with a smile that he reserves for you and you alone, and then he opens a door and tugs you into a well lit, buzzing, room. “Okay, I’m back.”
You look around the room and fight the urge to hide behind Fox. There are a lot of big names in the room.
Aside from you, a relatively small-time senator from a backwater planet no one in the Republic actually cares about, there’s also Senators Organa, Mothma, Amidala, and Chuchi. All three of them are rather big names, and you feel very out of place. 
Aside from the four senators, there are also Generals Kenobi, Koon, and Windu in the room…plus their respective Commanders.
“Senator,” Senator Organa greets you with a kind smile, the same way your father greets you whenever you go home to help out on the family farm, “Forgive me! Had I known that you were a believer in our cause, I would have invited you myself.”
Fox guides you over to an empty chair, a smug grin on his lips, and you shoot him a look, which only makes his grin more smug. “This cause being the assassination of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic?” You ask, very dryly.
“Assassination is such an ugly word,” Senator Amidala says lightly.
“Oh. Is there another term used for the politically based murder of a specific person?” You ask.
“We’re doing it for a good cause.” General Kenobi says patiently.
“It’s still called an assassination.” You point out.
“You’re not incorrect,” General Windu interjects, “Does it bother you?”
“No. I’m the one who has to patch up Fox after a bad day. But I was just going to poison him, so-”
Fox chokes down a laugh, “You’re amazing and I don’t deserve you.”
“So long as you know, darling.” You lean back in your seat, and Fox’s gloved fingers brush against the back of your neck, “I assume there’s a plan?”
“There is, but we need the Guard outside of the senate building.” General Koon says quietly, “And we’re not sure how to do that.”
“Oh, I can take care of that.” You say with a tilt of your head, “Easy.”
“How are you going to do that?” Senator Chuchi asks, “Without alerting Palpatine-?”
You smile serenely at her and pull your comm out of your purse. You pause, and tilt your head back to look up at Fox, “How big of a riot do you need?”
Fox frowns thoughtfully, “To empty the Corrie barracks and the Senate building? A couple thousand.”
You send a series of messages, and you get responses almost immediately, “Uhh…how does seven thousand sound?”
“You can really get that many people?” Fox asks as he leans over your shoulder.
“Yeah. There are a lot of anti-war, anti-government protestors who are happy to riot at the drop of the hat.” 
“I’m sorry, how do you know these people?” General Kenobi asks.
“Uh…the best way to enact change is from the inside?” You admit with a grin.
“How many protests have you personally set up?” Senator Mon Mothma asks with a sharp glare.
“I’m not answering that question on the grounds that I don’t want to, and also you’re in here planning the assassination of the Supreme Chancellor, so maybe you shouldn’t cast stones while in a glass house.” You send another series of messages, “And…done. You have three hours to come up with a good plan, because that’s when the riots start.”
Senator Organa grins at you, “When we’re done with all of this, kid, you and I need to have a conversation.”
“Uh…I suddenly feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office.” You mutter under your breath.
Fox laughs softly and presses a light kiss to the top of your head, “Don’t worry so much, cyare. Everything is going to be fine.”
And you relax as the much older people in the room start debating. If Fox says everything is going to be fine, then it has to be true. Fox isn’t a liar after all.
106 notes · View notes
iamnotthere-idonotdie · 5 months
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adored
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synopsis: reader works a menial job where they meet bruce wayne. the two meet up later at a bar and spend the night together.
warnings: bruce wayne (battinson) x reader, one use of “fuck”, mention of sex, cheating, drinking
a/n: no use of y/n, physical attributes of protagonist is up to reader’s interpretation, some moments are probably ooc for pattinson’s bruce wayne but i had a visison, probably some typos, also sorry i have my auto-capitalization off, this is my first ever fanfic btw so be nice pls but also very much would love feedback, i got inspired by the song adored by sea girls so listen to that too if you want an idea of the vibe here, edit: here’s the whole playlist if you want
part 1 of 3
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“jumping jack enterprises, how may i help you?”
you’re customer-service voice wasn’t in full-swing today. it was a long night with your boyfriend, john, and you just wanted friday to end. it was another night of screaming and fighting and you didn’t know how you’d make it through this. you loved him, but you’re starting to wonder if that’s enough. you’ve been trying to convince yourself that it’s only recently starting being rocky between the two of you, but the truth is you’re not sure anymore why you’re even still together.
you’ve been together 4 years now, it’s become your new normal to come home to john. to see him at his armchair by the fireplace, drinking a cocktail and reading one of his pretentious novels. but you’re only realizing now that what you thought was affection is just infatuation. the spark is gone. the honeymoon phase is over, if it ever was there to begin with.
“let me direct you to our marketing department and they’ll get you the help you’re looking for.”
you hang up the phone and glance again at the clock. 4:51. nine minutes to go until you’re able to go back home to what will probably be another night of senseless arguing.
you start to pack up your things and then the door swings open. you sigh, annoyed that someone’s come in this late to closing. but you look up to see bruce wayne. bruce wayne? what is he doing here?
“can you show me to jack bill’s office please?” he asks in a low voice.
“mr. bill is out today, actually. he’ll be back monday afternoon.”
“can you leave this for him then?” he hands you a yellow envelope, with nothing but mr. bill’s name on it.
“um sure thing, mr. wayne. is there anything else i can help you with?” you ask, hoping you’re voice doesn’t sound as shaky as you think it does.
“no, thank you.” he turns and leaves the way he came.
“have a nice day…” and the door shuts.
that was strange. what did bruce wayne need to see mr. bill for? and why leave such a mysterious envelope like that? you try not to think too deeply into it as you finish gathering your things and shutting down the computers to leave.
your phone buzzes. it’s john. he’s leaving for the weekend, to see his brother. to clear his head. to think things through. even though you should feel upset, you can’t help but feel a sense of relief at not having to fight again, at least for a few days.
you decide instead of going home to mope, you head to a local bar. you can’t remember the last time you went drinking alone. in fact, you can’t remember the last time you went drinking at all. maybe it’ll be good, a change of scenery.
you hail a taxi and ask to be taken to the jade jewel. the car zips through traffic and fights off the rain as you make your way to the bar.
you’re there, and you feel a sudden wave of anxiety. maybe this isn’t a good idea. alcohol is probably not what you need right now. but the taxi’s already left to find another fare, and now you’re stuck, in your work clothes, at the only bar in town your mind could conjure up. you reluctantly walk in and get a table.
the bar is not how you remember it. it’s now more of a chill jazz club. okay, maybe this will actually be good.
you order an old fashioned and listen to the live music, the piano and the bass intertwining to make beautiful melodies. time seems to stand still as you’re lightly swaying along in your seat to the music. turns out, this is exactly what you needed.
you don’t pay attention to how long you’ve been sitting there, but it seems to be a while as people are starting to leave. the door opens and closes as couples file out to go home, but then you see out of the corner of your eye a familiar face. before you can fully register who it is, he’s waking over to your table.
“you work at jumping jack right? i saw you there today, gave you that message for mr. bill.”
“yeah, that was me. i didn’t know you came around here.”
“it’s one of the few places i can go without worrying about the press. if no one expects you to be here, then they won’t look for you here.”
“that makes sense i suppose.”
“i apologize for leaving in that way. i didn’t want to keep you there too late.”
“it’s okay, i was just confused about the envelope.”
“it’s just a letter letting him know about a potential merger. he’s done some great research that i think we could both benefit from if we work together.”
“yeah that sounds like a great opportunity for him.”
he just nods slightly as he sits there, and the two of you turn to watch the band play.
the now mostly empty bar becomes quiet for a moment as the band switches songs. you and bruce lock eyes, and for a brief second, you get butterflies in your stomach. he lightly smiles at you and you smile back. then the music picks up again, a slow tempo, romantic song. bruce holds his hand out across the table.
“would you like to dance?”
you pause for a moment, confused by his question. bruce wayne does not seem like the dancing type. but you have one and a half drinks in you and without thinking anymore, you smile softly and nod. he takes your hand and you both get up from the table, moving over closer to the stage. he has one hand around you, pressing against your back and the other hand is holding yours. you sway slowly together, to the beat of the jazz band’s tune. after a minute of this, he slowly guides his hand lower down the small of your back and brings you in closer. you’re pressed against each other, tightly, as you two dance in the lowlight of the bar. you haven’t felt like this in a long time. john never danced with you, even when the relationship was at its best. after what seems like forever, the song ends. but you stay holding onto each other. you turn to look up at him and he’s looking at you too.
“the music’s stopped” you say quietly.
“i know.” he says even softer.
the sunlight pries your eyelids open as you blink to wake up. morning. saturday. you breathe in deep and let out a sigh.
bruce lays beside you, still snoring softly. you want to feel guilty. for fucks sake you’re waking up with bruce wayne next to you, in the bed you share with your boyfriend of 4 years.
but you don’t. because you just had the best night in a long time. you slowly get up out of bed and throw bruce’s shirt on. as you make your way to the kitchen, you can’t help but smile a bit.
you scoop the coffee grounds into the filter and pour some water in the machine, letting the bubbling of the coffee maker lull you into a daze. you just keep replaying the night you just had over and over. the music, the dancing, the sex. you can’t even remember the last time you and john had sex. you think of john, at his brother’s house, looking out the window at the same morning sky you’re seeing now. you start to feel a bit of guilt creep in when the coffee finishes brewing, and you pour a cup. you sit in the armchair, the same one john sits in, and sip. you force yourself to not think of john, to think of anything, just enjoy the coffee as it warms you up.
your daze is suddenly broken when you hear the sound of liquid pouring. you turn and bruce is making himself a cup. he’s wearing nothing but his underwear as he makes his way toward you. he leans down and you kiss him.
this is what you want to feel, right? an aching, longing feeling, like you miss him even though he’s right beside you. bruce sits in the chair next to you, and the two of you just drink the coffee, no words exchanged.
this is how you want your mornings to be. this is how you want to be.
adored.
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netherworldpost · 7 months
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@cha0tician when I was Evil Supply Co., we had a newspaper for nearly two years.
Physically printed on large paper. It was part of a subscription box — Mister Ghost’s Highly Enviable Monthly Parcel of Simple Yet Amazing Wonderments
(Fun fact I came up with that name at a bar in one go and did not edit it — it was the pure first draft)
This was a 4 page (1 sheet of paper front/back) and folded into 11x14.
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Subscription billing services add costs to the already base $0.30 + 2.9% processing of cards (fairly industry standard pricing), making inexpensive products affordable.
Two sheets of letter sized paper and a thin envelope is roughly one ounce, so a newspaper is probably 2 or even 4, driving up postage considerably.
Even printed black and white (instead of color) the pricing was difficult.
Newspaper ages quick (it’s very acidic) so back stock decays fairly rapidly…
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…and this one trick (storing bundles of newspaper) is key to driving your studio-mates wild with passion for you!
The problem with having submissions is two fold — ensuring originality (vs stealth plagiarism) and having a clear focus on the stories.
My stories are very focused and narrow… it’s one of the reasons I change/am changing the name of the company.
A lot of people saw ESC and walked in the digital door looking for true crime and/or horror and got queer monster utopia and were disappointed. Which is fair with the name, and so in this second act I want to give a more straightforward “this is who we are and what we do.”
It’s all a really careful balance.
Going back to the pricing a moment — if the retail price is even as high as $5, after processing fees and postage, it’s maybe $0.50/issue profit into the coffers to keep the company going.
Miss one deadline (as a subscription your deadlines are right, and printing takes 1.5 - 3 weeks) and your customer numbers take huge hits.
Complicates the whole thing.
The last few Mister Ghost boxes ran late because of all the above, and timed with an industry decline of subscription boxes, hurt the whole company bad.
Advertising is… tricky. I would have to hire someone to exclusively work on ads.
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The alternative I am working on is just having it as an occasional promotion.
That cuts out processing fees and taxes (it actually helps taxes as it’s a marketing deduction).
Just every once in awhile, on a non-specified time scale (alleviating all production deadline issues), printing a small run. “Okay the papers come in today, we have 200, so include them in the next 200 orders.”
It’s tricky (what isn’t!) because it’s not going to be “the next 200 orders get…!” because frantic ordering Creates Problems (I don’t want to tell #201 they should have been faster)
I keep coming back to the ideas of surprise and delight.
You won’t see a gnome every time you go to the forest — you won’t see them hardly ever — but once in awhile you will and then it becomes a truly magical day.
So once in awhile maybe you get a newspaper or a small painting or a foil sticker in your order, or you are a customer who hasn’t ordered for us and I say “hey rather than give Google more cash let’s take a month of ad budget and print glow in the dark stickers and send to people.”
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(This is from my business ramble side blog)
I don’t know if “surprise and delight” will be effective marketing.
Maybe it is but it’s too expensive to keep up and it ends up folding the company entirely.
Maybe it’s wildly successful and we continue to survive to make the world weirder.
I want to be honest and open on any public domain research and development rambles that they easily could fail — have a significant chance of it. There are no guarantees, at all, that any of this will work.
It has to be said “the reason these things are not common is because the risk is, to put it mildly, extremely high.”
Without this honesty I am nothing more than a snake oil salesman peddling false hope about making the world a weirder and more fun place.
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But what if it does work?
My risk tolerance in business is…
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… significant.
This makes me fun to shop with but, hm, complicated, to invest in — which is why i don’t take investors, and when folks kindly offer to toss a few bucks to help us get going, I decline and ask them to shop at an artist store who they have always meant to buy something at but always forget.
I am uncomfortable enough with “we are going to launch.. someday!” — I cannot stand the thought of taking possession of someone’s money without clear lines of “you will get X by Y day.”
All of this is a massive, significant, frequently overwhelming risk.
But.
But!
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If it does end up working?
It’s going to be magnificent.
I work on this company because doing this work makes me more “me” than if I didn’t. It’s part of my fabric.
These public domain research and development posts (and future blog versions which can go into more detail) are my way of (hopefully) giving back.
I can’t make a subscription newspaper work but maybe someone else can and then I get to subscribe to it and my world gets weirder because I can read it ;)
But
Whenever I go down these paths
I always want to be very careful and explicit:
Very few things are impossible
Most things are more difficult than they seem
I don’t have all the answers but I might be able to help start the conversations that get someone closer to them
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modelbus · 2 years
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CC!Tommy x Reader
Reader has a bad day and he's trying to cheer them up?
Romantic preferred
Gender neutral pronouns *fae/faer preferred but they/them is also fine-
-🌙anon
Fluff <3 I used they/them because I’m more familiar with those, but the part where they're used is brief, sorry!
Pairing: CC!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader (romantic)
Sad Saturday
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You know it'll be a bad day from the moment you wake up. The normally peaceful rain had somehow turned overwhelming overnight, a loud battering that occupied too much of your mind. After rolling out of bed, all you could do was drift on autopilot.
There wasn’t any good reason for the daze other than you were simply having a bad day. Hell, you hadn’t even checked Twitter yet!
You were probably meant to do something today, but the effort it took to check your phone calendar seemed ridiculous. In the end you’re glad you did, because you and Tommy had planned a stream together. After sending a message to him that’s probably more mistakes that actual words, you decide to at least try and be a little productive.
The best part about being a streamer meant that just going on Tik Tok was being productive, so that’s exactly what you do. You bundle yourself up in some blankets and start scrolling through Tik Tok.
Everything seems tasteless though, boring and bland. When it’s not it just seems pointed at you. As if your phone was trying to call you out, guilt you for not doing stuff. It isn’t long before you darken your screen with a fresh wave of unhappiness.
Between the unease stirring in your stomach, the unending exhaustion, and the general down feelings, you knew it was a lost cause trying to do anything. Knowing that didn’t help though, because you should be doing your job. It was a dream come true type of job, but it just felt like far too much today.
“Hello?”
Not having heard the door open, you jolt. You knew your boyfriend’s voice well enough not to think it was a stranger at least, even if he was being uncharacteristically quiet. Actually, wait. What was he doing here? Where you lived?
“Tommy?” You ask, mildly confused.
“Hey! Your text was more mess than words so I thought you were fucking kidnapped or something. Snatched!” He walks into your living room, barely pausing when he spots you on the couch in a blanket burrito. If it was a normal day you’d joke back, bounce off his energy. But you just couldn’t find it in you.
Tommy grins, all but collapsing onto the couch next to you. “Gimmie blankets.”
With a heavily exaggerated sigh, you include him in the burrito. He’s all physical affection and doesn’t hesitate to pull you even closer to him, to the point where you drop your head on his shoulder.
“What are we watching? Up? Princess and the Popstar? A movie with a dog in it?” Tommy doesn’t even give you the chance to respond, grabbing the remote and finding Lego Batman.
"Aren't you still streaming today?" You ask.
"Why would I want to stream when I can watch Lego Batman with you?" He asks like it's the most obvious thing in the world, even shaking his head as the opening scene plays.
Although it's obviously meant to be played off as casual, the words mean a lot to you. Especially on a rough day when you know you aren't yourself and not nearly as fun.
Within mere seconds you find yourself dozing off, comfortable and safe with him.
When you wake up, it's to voices. Multiple, although one is Tommy and the other is a bit grainier around the edges. Like a phone call.
"-wanted to make sure everything was fine." Wilbur is saying.
"I'm at their house right now. You're interrupting our together time, Wilbur. That's actually not very cool of you." Tommy answers.
"I was worried about you two! Clearly you're okay though. Are they?"
"Bad day, innit? We all get 'em."
Wilbur sighs. "Yeah. I'll go then."
"Yeah, as you fucking should."
"Jesus, you don't have to be so-"
Tommy taps the phone loudly, laughing to himself.
"Why'd you hang up in the middle of him talking?" You ask, yawning.
After a second you realize he's not next to you anymore. Instead, he's across the room.
"Deserved it. He bet me that I couldn't do a cartwheel! How dare he doubt my abilities?!"
That definitely wasn't what they were talking about, and Tommy definitely can't do a cartwheel, but you're too lost in the abrupt topic change to put either of those thoughts into words.
"What?"
"Watch." He says proudly, backing up. Hands raised in the air, he leans over and flops onto his face. "...ow. That didn't happen."
Unable to help yourself, you laugh. The frown he was wearing immediately turns into a smile.
"I ordered your favorite food on UberEats but it won't be here for another ten minutes."
"You didn't have to." You say quietly.
"What if Twitter found out I was being a bad boyfriend? What then? My reputation, gone."
"So this is all for Twitter?"
"Exactly!"
Was Tommy being a little weirder than normal? It almost seemed like he was, but there wasn't any good reason to it. Unless he was just trying to make you smile, which he was succeeding at.
Oh.
He was making your bad day a little better in the Tommyinnit way: love hidden in humor. His tactic was working, too, which was the most surprising part of it all.
"We should play a game while we wait or some shit. Wait! Let's play Uno! I've been studying the art of the Uno, Charlie's been teaching me!" He suddenly blurts out.
"You've been studying Uno?"
"I'm bilingual in card games."
"That's not how it works."
"Of course it is. Charlie Slimecicle would never lie to me."
"I feel like he might."
"I win. We're playing Uno." Tommy declares.
You aren't even sure you own Uno, but he disappears for a second and when he comes back it's with the game held in his hand. It takes a full five minutes just to shuffle the deck because he tried to make it rain money using the cards, but you get there eventually.
By the time the UberEats guy arrives (a full minute late, which Tommy makes a jokingly big deal of), you've won twice. The simplicity of the game, the joking attacks, the comebacks, and the revenge all work together to ease the tension left in you until you realize that the day's took a turn for the better.
Tommy always had that power in him. That ability to turn your day around, make it so much better. Despite how you didn't tell him why you opted out of the stream, he still showed up and stuck around and made you laugh.
"Finally, some fucking food." He groans, collapsing on the ground where you've been playing Uno. There's a table right there, but the ground is just so much better.
"Only took eleven minutes." You joke, reaching over to steal some of his food.
Instead of complaining, he gives you a huge grin. His next words are just a beat too late, hindered by the proud grin he's wearing, but neither of you mention it. "Exactly! Where's some good service when you need it?"
And, in a matter of hours, you realize it's no longer a bad day. Not anymore, at least. And it's all because of him.
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vampkittyxoxo · 5 days
Note
Hi!!! Could you do romantic X headcanons for Lawrie and 8-BIT? If you don't accept two characters at time for headcanons you can pick which one you want! Also could the reader be a robot? For the pronouns everything is fine even if I would prefer gender neutral or fem pronouns!
So sorry if this is bad worded it's my first time requesting something and English is not my first language 😭🙏
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Hello!! Thank you for your request! I can do two characters don’t worry!
╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗
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8-Bit with a robot partner —
~ For starters, it took a LONG time to get 8-Bit to want anything to do with you. Much less than if you were a human, but still, you really had to bide your time with him.
~ He was very reluctant to talk past any simple small talk, and his usual speaking patterns kept his replies vague and sort of mysterious, in a way.
~ If you ever get him to open up, you’re probably the first person (robot?) to ever do so. And that’s exactly why he catches feelings for you.
~ He definitely doesn’t understand his feelings at first— he thinks that since he’s an arcade cabinet, he shouldn’t feel anything romantic. But after some soul searching and self help (google) he comes to the conclusion that he does, in fact, have a crush on you.
~ Would he ever confess to you? No. Not in a million years would he ever take the risk of losing the one person that he could talk to and rely on. Thankfully, you’re willing to take that risk!
~ When you confess to him, he is bewildered. He cannot fathom that someone would like him back. It’s a miracle he didn’t blow a fuse when you told him, whether it be in person or through any other means.
~ 8-Bit is very nervous at the start of the relationship, but he tries his best. Chances are good you would be his first for everything. But with nurturing and reassurance, he quickly gets over his anxiety after the first initial month or so.
~ He tries his hardest to keep his temper cool around you, and tells you time and time again that if he gets mad, it isn’t your fault. If he ever yelled at you, he would delete all his code immediately.
~ Despite all his rage, he loves playing co-op games with you, or just watching you play a game. As small tokens of love, he’ll buy you games you like/want, dlc, even merchandise of your favorite franchises. I wouldn’t say gift giving is his love language, he just likes spoiling you from time to time.
~ Regarding physical touch, it takes him quite a while to get used to it. You would have to start small, with just hand holding, then slowly ease your way into cuddling or anything of the sort.
~ He appreciates that your also a robot, meaning you can relate more to… whatever issues robots have. This also means 8-Bit is a lot more knowledgeable on robot first aid, and should something go wrong, he can easily patch you up.
~ Overall, it’s a lengthy process, but in the end 8-Bit does love you and cares for you a lot. It might be hard for him to properly express it, but he isn’t opposed to leaving you love notes around the place for you to find.
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Lawrie with a robot partner —
~ Another stubborn, angry robot.
~ It’s real hard to talk to him. Harder than it is for 8-Bit, because Lawrie already has a best friend— Larry. He doesn’t see a need to be buddy buddy with anyone else.
~ You still try, and try… and try. Making any excuse to see him, to bring him anything he likes, help him with small errands… Yet he just sees you as an acquaintance.
~ That’s not to say he doesn’t find you attractive, or a potential partner. Oh no, he’s crushing *hard*, but he is just amazing at covering it up.
~ He gets all his gushing out to Larry, who has to bear to hear it all (he loves seeing his brother so happy).
“God, and you know what they did today?!”
“Ooo what! What!!”
“They handed me a pen when I needed it!!”
“OH MY GOD LAWRIE marry them already please”
~ The longer you stick around, the more open Lawrie gets. Slowly, over the course of a month, his little crush turns into a like. A *like like*.
~ Unlike 8-Bit, Lawrie actually *will* ask you out. But very discreetly. He asks if you would stay with him for longer, just to keep him company while sorting through files and other mundane tasks. After a week of this, he’ll finally ask you out on a date, but “just as friends”…
~ Dinner dates aren’t really… applicable to robots such as yourselves. So, you opt to roam Starr Park past his shift. He offers to pay for just about everything, since he was the one to ask you out anyway (and definitely not because he likes you haha…)
~ If you touch him at all, he’ll react with annoyance, but that is most definitely not how he feels… at all.
~ After the first date, he tells Larry all about it, who then encourages Lawrie to ask you to be his partner. Lawrie is very skeptical at first, and really doubts Larry’s advice, but goes for it anyway.
~ He asks you casually whenever your around his work, hardly batting an eye on the outside. But trust me, he’s freaking out internally. When you say yes, he genuinely gets flustered and turns red (can robots blush…?). He accidentally says “thank you”.
~ In a relationship, Lawrie isn’t all that bad. He sets in place some basic boundaries for the both of you, in an almost formal meeting delivery. This is mostly just to avoid future issues.
~ Unlike his brother, Lawrie is not very touchy, especially at first. It takes him almost two weeks to ask to hold your hand, and another week to… sort of kiss you? Whatever the robot equivalent is.
~ He isn’t one to spontaneously purchase gifts for you— he keeps that for when you two go out together. Instead, he prefers doing small acts of service for you, like taking on chores (even if you don’t live together) and bringing you drinks or food while watching movies together. He gives you prince(ss) treatment.
~ The only problems I can foresee is him being too harsh or rough at times. If you two are play fighting, he might accidentally shoot a rubber band at you too hard or hurt you in some way. He honestly doesn’t mean to, and always makes sure your okay and holds you after.
~ In all, he’s a good man. Larry is so happy his brother finally found someone, because honestly… he never thought Lawrie would.
╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝
I hope this was good! Im not too familiar with 8-Bit but thankfully someone on reddit analyzed his personality.
Requests are open <3
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ggidolsmuts · 2 years
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Coming Home - KARA Jiyoung
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You're in Incheon, holding up a sign at the arrival hall, the media contingent is out in force today, and you're surrounded on all sides by camera-toting fans and reporters. Out through the glass doors comes your passenger, and you're moving with the media crowd to intercept her. She's wearing large sunglasses and a mask, but everyone knew who she was. Of course, a million bulbs go off when she appears, and you're squinting as she walks towards you.
"You're my driver?"
"Yes, let me take your luggage." Her bodyguards clear the way for two of you, and shortly after she is ducking into the passenger seat of your car as you hurry to stow her luggage in the trunk. You get in the drivers seat, and the noise slowly dies away as you zoom away from the media.
"Welcome back, Miss Kang."
"Miss Kang? Since when did you become so professional, Mr. Driver-nim?" Jiyoung cracks up and laughs.
"Fair enough." You hold out a hand behind you, and she grasps it joyfully. "Welcome back Jiyoung."
"Good to see you, it's been too long!" It had been too long. Your relationship with Jiyoung can only be described as close-friends-with-benefits. The emotional side of your relationship with her has always been platonic, and the physical side very much the opposite. You were each other's booty call, emotional support, and emergency contact. You would give her advice on her boyfriends and Jiyoung would give you advice on your relationship, often over a bottle of wine.
The two of you are horrible at relationships though, and when the two of you inevitably end up single again, a dry Friday night or a lonely Saturday night would often be spent together instead, taking care of each other's pent-up frustrations.
She rushed to you when you fell down some stairs and ended up in the hospital, helping you get discharged and even dropping by to check on you at home. You were speed dial "1" on her phone when her apartment got broken into while she was in Japan—you took care of everything for her and she didn't even have to fly back. The two of you stuck by and stuck up for each other in every way save one.
"Are we going to the usual place?" Jiyoung asks as she browses her phone.
"Yup, are you tired? Your apartment is still like half an hour away, you can take a nap." On cue she lets out a large yawn.
"Uwaaaargh yeah, I'll probably doze off, wake me up when we're there." Jiyoung stretches before resting her head against the window, and you make sure to drive smoothly to not jolt her awake. Thirty minutes later you reach her apartment, and your fingers drum a whole song on the steering wheel before she comes back sans luggage.
"Thanks, let's go, I'm starving!" Off you go to your usual spot, a restaurant that the two of you have frequented many times over the years.
"After you."
"Why thank you, wow this place hasn't changed, I'm glad it survived the pandemic."
"You're welcome, I was keeping it alive, I came here every day and ordered for both of us."
"Are you sure it isn't because you eat enough for the two of us?" Jiyoung jokes, laughing merrily in the quiet restaurant. She blanches at the increased prices, but otherwise orders the usual stuff she always gets.
"So, how does it feel to be back in Korea?"
"Good! It's good to be back, I miss Korean food."
"You can't get it in Japan?"
"You know it's not the same. Here, cheers!" The two of you pause to drink the ice cold beer just placed on your table.
"Don't go missing Japanese food now."
"It's fine, I won't be here for long."
"Oh, how long will you be here for?"
"Just two weeks, recording, learning the choreo, then back to Japan."
"Damn, that's going to be a busy two weeks," you say, spooning some stew over her rice.
"Thanks. Yeah it'll be tiring but fun, I'm looking forward to seeing the unnies and meeting Youngji again!"
You nod, and the two of you go through the food in between catching up on each other's lives, exchanging stories about pandemic life in Korean and Japan. Jiyoung could definitely eat enough for the two of you as she completely cleans the dishes up.
"Damn, you really miss Korean food huh?"
"When you haven't been home for two years, yeah."
With the plates cleared, you lean back on your chair and wave for another beer. Jiyoung waves another one for herself too. She leans back too, drinking a good half of her glass in one gulp and letting out a satisfied whistle.
"Whew, that was good food. Beer's just okay, we should have had somaek, I'm only lightly buzzed." Despite that Jiyoung yawns, and that's your cue to take her back.
"And yet you're yawning, you must be tired from travel, let's go, I called a driver for us, they can drive us back." The driver arrives, and you get in the backseat of your car with Jiyoung. She's quiet on the ride back, leaning against the window, seemingly half asleep. You arrive at her place with little fanfare, and surprisingly Jiyoung sends the driver away.
"Wait, I still have to drive back."
"No you can go, thank you!" Jiyoung pays and send the driver away. "You don't have to go right away, come in, sober up before you go." You shrug and follow her up to her apartment, stumbling out of your shoes.
"Still clumsy as ever. Another drink?"
"I'm trying to sober up here."
"Fine, I'll get you something else, but I'm getting another drink." Jiyoung comes back with a glass of red wine and a glass of sparkling water. She flops onto the couch next to you and sips her red wine.
"So, how are things with... what was her name? Jisoo? Jisu? Jisook?"
"Jisoo, and we uhh, broke up, not being able to meet during the pandemic kinda just killed things off." You wince and gulp your beer. "What about you? You still with Jaehyuk? Jehyuk? Jaehyeok?"
"Jaehyuk, yeah, it didn't work out, we couldn't stand living together during the pandemic, so yeah."
"Ouch, and here I thought moving in with Jisoo would've saved things."
"And I thought if Jaehyuk and I had some time apart we'd save our relationship. Guess it doesn't work either way. Oh well, cheers to single life." Jiyoung downs the rest of her wine in a single gulp.
"Hmm, cheers indeed." You finish your sparkling water. "Thanks for the drink, I think I'm gonna go—" Before you can finish your sentence Jiyoung swings her legs around you, and in a flash she's straddling you on the sofa. She tilts your chin up with a hand, looking into your eyes. The brief thought had floated through your mind when you realized both of you were single again, but you didn't want to press the issue right after seeing her again.
Jiyoung had other ideas though.
"Stay." Her look and huskily whispered word is all you need to close the distance and capture her lips, her arms around your neck, your hands around her waist. The living room is quiet, save for her soft gasps and your low moans as the two of you familiarize yourselves with each other physically again. Right along her left jaw line, and down to her neck, but switch to kiss her right shoulder.
Each and every touch on those spots draws a shiver from Jiyoung, making her melt on your lap as she runs her hands underneath your t-shirt. Your vision is annoyingly obscured when she pulls it off, but you get to do the same to her, unzipping the back of her tube top before tugging it away, revealing her generous chest.
Your hands pull her in for another kiss before moving down her body, going up and over her collarbone before stopping.
"Left or right?" Jiyoung reads your pause—you were trying to remember which of her breasts was more sensitive.
"Right?" you wonder out loud, drifting a finger down.
"Are you sure? Maybe it's my right and your left? Or maybe it has changed?" Jiyoung teases you jokingly.
"It can change?"
"Sure, I had to drive on the left side instead of the right side in Japan, maybe these babies switched too."
"Now you're just fucking with me." You put a full hand over her right breast, and the gasp and delicate whine she releases tells you that yes, she is fucking with you. You punish her by grazing your fingers over it, letting her feel your skin trace her tit, but never grabbing, never squeezing it. On the opposite side, Jiyoung grabs the left one fully, squeezing and kneading herself.
The two of you keep going—Jiyoung's nails make you shiver as she draws lines down your right arm, and your left arm trails down her ticklish left side. She exposes her neck delightfully when she tosses her head back in sensitivity, and you plant a few light kisses on her. It doesn't get any better as you go down to her thigh, grabbing a handful of her juicy ass over her jeans before tracing inwards between her legs.
The sound of fingers over jeans has never been more erotic as you rub Jiyoung, and you can already feel the heat radiating through the rough fabric. A little more insistent in your rubbing, Jiyoung is forced to claw at your shoulders, and you watch her midriff tremble and twitch as she let’s a soft moan leak out, a small orgasm rolling over her.
"Already?"
"It's been a while since we broke up," she says matter-of-factly. "Your turn." Jiyoung teases you with a deep grind on your crotch, making you grit your teeth as she gets off you and settling herself between your legs. Your shorts and boxers come off easily, and your shiver as her hands move up your thighs does not miss her notice. Her hand wraps around your shaft, and as she pulls it up and away from her, you know what question to ask.
"Hmm do you remember, left ball or right ball?"
Jiyoung winks and answers correctly.
"Trick question, both." She let's your shaft rest against her face as she takes one nut and then the other in her mouth, coating it with a generous serving of drool when she licks and sucks them gently. You moan and scoot forward on the sofa, pushing them towards her as you start leaking precum over her face. Jiyoung stops when she feels the sticky substance on her skin, touching it with a finger before shooting you a smirk.
"Already?"
"Not yet, just close, it's been a while," you mutter, hissing as she strokes your throbbing shaft. Jiyoung kisses your tip, a string of precum clinging to her lips as she gets off her knees and walks to her bedroom. You take a deep breath to calm yourself before following her in, but the sight you see before you does not help at all.
Jiyoung's on the bed, the button on her jeans already undone, revealing the simple white panties underneath. Smoothly you tug the jeans off her creamy legs, and as you throw them to the side Jiyoung rests on her arms, biting her bottom lip expectantly, her voluminous hair somehow perfectly styled for bed. Your hand on her panties moves slowly, running along the hem of the underwear, but Jiyoung grabs it and stops you.
"Enough is enough." They are off quickly, and with her legs splayed around your hips, you line yourself up with her and take a deep breath, making sure you don't blow as soon as you enter her.
"Haah..." Jiyoung exhales softly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. Lying down, she throws her head back and arches her back, relishing in the sensation of being slowly stuffed, her walls stretching to accommodate you—it really had been a while.
"You good?" Your question brings her back down to bed, and she's met with the feeling of your lips on her neck.
"Wait, don't leave a mark! Just give me a minute, you're big." You throb a little at her admission.
"I need a minute too, you're so tight." She clenches down on you for emphasis. The two of you calm down a little, coming down from the high tension the foreplay had brought you to. You go back to exploring her, running your fingertips over where her clothes were covering earlier. When she is ready Jiyoung wordlessly nips at your earlobe, and with your hands on her waist you start moving. You've underestimated just how much you missed hearing her moan, and the more she sounds her pleasure directly into your ear, the faster and harder you go.
It is perfect for Jiyoung, and she wraps her arms around your neck, burying her face in the side of your head, making sure you hear every note of bliss you pound into her. She's missed this feeling more than she cares to admit, and her entire body takes revenge on depriving herself of you, lighting up her brain with sensitive ecstasy. It doesn't take long for her to tense up again, and this time you drive her right over the edge, her legs wrapping around you and pulling you deep into her as she climaxes.
"Fuck!" The curse is shouted right into your ear, and you hold her still as her slick walls around you go wild with motion, clamping down on you repeatedly. Repeated low moans escape her with every rhythmic grip of your shaft, and it is only when she goes quiet does her pulsing warmth relax her hold over you. She runs her fingers through her hair before beaming up at you, absolutely satisfied with you.
"Your turn again." Jiyoung gets on her front, and she scoots herself right under your slick-covered shaft. Unhesitatingly she takes you into her mouth, and this time it is her hands that are massaging your sack. Her tongue cleans you off quickly, and in the process, she is licking you into a mess, your hands digging into her hair.
"Jiyoung!" She backs off you, a hand wrapping around your spit-coated shaft. Her eyes trained on you, broad strokes of her tongue on your glans and quick pumps along your shaft is enough to get you to blow. The first two spurts spew into her mouth, but then her tongue is on your balls, and you throw your head back as she drains you of your orgasm.
"Fuck..." You look down, and the sight almost gets you hard again—Jiyoung's face is covered in your thick load, staining her hair, covering her forehead. You can't tell if the cum by her lips is leaking out of her mouth, or flowing down from her cheeks.
"Really has been a while, huh?" Jiyoung jokes, a hand on her chin to catch any stray drops. "Tissue please?" A few sheets are ripped out of the holder as you help wipe her clean.
"Damn, sorry, some of it got in your hair."
"I was going to take a shower anyways. You should stay the night, won't you be tired driving back at this time?" Gratefully you accept the offer, and Jiyoung ducks into the bathroom as you gather your clothes. She takes a while, and you end up drifting off to sleep before you are shaken awake by Jiyoung.
"Yah, at least shower before you get in my bed." A bare-faced Jiyoung faces you, her hair wrapped up in a towel. Dressed in a simple t-shirt and shorts, it felt like just another Friday night in her room.
"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry." You stumble into the bathroom, and a few minutes later you stumble back out cleaner than before.
"Guys are lucky, I take longer to wash my hair than you do to wash yourself."
"Cut your hair short like mine and it'll be quick too."
"Pass, anyways I gotta get up early tomorrow, good night!" Jiyoung turns off the light and slips under the sheets, and you take it as a sign to go to bed too. The two of you face away from one another as sleep descends on the room, just like you’ve done many times before. You wake up the next morning to a lonely bed, and when you check a phone a message waits for you.
*You seemed like you were having a good sleep, so I didn't want to wake you, let yourself out whenever, I don't have much in the fridge, sorry!*
You tap on a quick reply before putting on your clothes.
*Thanks for letting me stay over, I'll see you sometime?*
Your phone buzzes as you drive away.
*Mmhmm, I'll let you know when I'm free!*
Sadly, two weeks fly by quickly, and Jiyoung still hasn't gotten in touch with you. Oh well, maybe she's just been too busy. You vaguely wonder about how she's doing, but your texts have gone unanswered until now.
*Hey, can you drive me to the airport tomorrow?*
*Sure, what time?*
*9 am*
*I'll be there around 7 then?*
*Yes, thank you!*
*Great, hope everything went well!*
Jiyoung hesitates before replying—it did go by smoothly, but the more she hung out with her former members, the more she felt isolated.
"Seungyeon unnie do you want to do something tonight?"
"Ah sorry, I made plans already."
"Gyuri unnie?"
"Sorry, I'm meeting my boyfriend later."
"Youngji?"
"Same, sorry unnie!"
“Nicole unnie?”
“I’m too tired, I’ll pass, maybe next time Jiyoung.”
She was homesick when she was in Japan, but now that she's back, the gloomy realization that there is nothing here for her in Korea sets in—she had no real connections beyond her business ties, and sure she had family, but she had no one to spend time with otherwise. Her fellow members had their own priorities now, they weren't stuck together 24/7 like before, and it left her feeling lonelier than ever.
*Yeah, everything went great*
Jiyoung hesitates for a brief moment before sending the next message, but she needed to see someone unrelated to work before she left.
*Can you come over tonight?*
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You show up at night, and Jiyoung invites you in. Immediately she offers you a drink, which you readily accept.
"So, ready to go back? Ready to eat good ramen and tonkatsu?"
"I guess..." Jiyoung mulls over her drink, and you misinterpret it.
"What? You like ramyun more? Just bring a box of it back with you, if you need more after I can always send you more later."
"That's not it."
"Then what, Korean snacks? Pepero instead of Pocky? You want Chocoheim?"
“No that’s not the point.”
"It's not food? Drink then? I'm sure you can find some place that sells makgeolli in Japan."
Jiyoung drains her beer and shakes her head.
"Never mind. Sorry, I'm tired, I shouldn't have called you over, can you just drop by tomorrow?" She makes to get up, but with a hand on her wrist you pull her back, and she stumbles into your lap.
"You're not going anywhere, and neither am I until we—Jiyoung?" You pause, lost at Jiyoung's odd expression. Your words resonate with her, that there is something, someone here for her in Korea, and a switch flips inside her.
"Mmph!"
Her hands are already around your neck, and without a further word she pulls you in for a fevered kiss. You're swept along by her sudden burst of passion, and with repeated flicks of her tongue, soon you are dueling in her mouth, trying to tangle yourself with her as you hold her close, losing yourself in her embrace. Your hand drifts to her hips, and Jiyoung pulls your hand further down, urging you to squeeze her ass. Her nails dig into your shirt when you do, and in another oxygen-sucking kiss you've lifted both her and yourself off the couch, carrying her to the bedroom.
As soon as you are at the bed though, Jiyoung pulls you down next to her, fingers already fumbling with your jeans. Off they go, as do your boxers and t-shirt, and immediately she is on top of you, as if scared you would squirm away from her somehow. Her blouse is pulled off, and then her bra, and then she lifts her skirt and simply pulls her underwear to the side.
You only have a moment to gasp at her intense wetness before she's hilting herself on you—you never got straight into it with Jiyoung, usually needing to prep her with teasing touches and tentative thrusts before she was wet enough to even let you in. She's never been this sopping wet before, but the whimper she lets out is evidence of her rashness.
"Ji—!" your concerned gasp is cut off by the sting on your neck, her lips leaving a fierce hickey. Your vision goes dark for a moment, your senses trying to catch up to the overwhelming pressure of her walls clenching around you, and all you can do is hold on to her as she grinds on you slowly. Soft whinnies and light groans are muffled against you as Jiyoung pushes herself to the limit, making her body adjust to your length while she rides you. But her eagerness turns pain to pleasure, and eventually those subdued cries of discomfort turn to husky moans, of a woman fully enjoying her man.
You help her enjoy you further, placing a hand near your connected bodies. Your fingertips brush against her clit, and mindlessly Jiyoung adjusts her riding to make sure you're rubbing her nub. The tempo of her riding quickly goes up another notch after this, and she’s smearing her slick all over you. Soon, with an almighty cry into your neck she climaxes around you, her thighs trembling and squeezing your body before going still, her breathing harsh against your neck. You hold her by her shoulders, and as she rises from nuzzling your neck she brushes her sweaty hair away to catch a breath.
But only one breath, as you needed to cum as well. Swiftly you roll her over on to her back, taking position on top of her. Jiyoung parts her lips, and your pupils dilate as you hear her speak.
"Take me."
It is the first time you've heard her use those words. Gone are the words of simple booty calls like "fuck me" or "do me", now replaced with two words charged with compulsive passion.
Jiyoung wanted you to take her. You were going to have her.
You snarl and nip immediately to her neck, bruising her, marking her like she did to you. Your wrap an arm easily across her lower back, and with a delighted moan you lift her off the mattress, pulling her hips flush against yours. Her head's lolls limply back, slightly bouncing on the bed, but Jiyoung couldn't give less of a damn from the pleasure and sheer joy of the act.
Your sweat pours over her, your bodies sticking together as you continue your feral lovemaking—you aren't so much pounding down on her as you are yanking her up to your cock over and over. Jiyoung is yours to manipulate, and manipulate her you do. Your hand grips her ass tightly, while the other squeezes her bouncing breasts, both sure to leave a mark—just two more to the collection of stamps you leave on her.
Both of you are speechless and thoughtless, fucking and being fucked with raucous and wild abandon. But it was not heartless, and your previously suppressed and buried emotions, unknown and unadmitted to even yourselves, are being excavated and revealed with every thrust into her, and all the two of you knew to do was to “dig”, deeper and deeper. 
"Guh..." A wordless grunt and groan escapes her as your tip brushes against the entrance to her womb, a bolt of pleasure straight up her spine. A single strike is almost too much for her, but you keep going, determined to leave your mark on every inch of Jiyoung, inside and out. Over and over you kiss both her lips and her cervix, each earning a guttural rasp from her until the feral turns primal.
With what strength she has left Jiyoung makes you crash on top of her, pulling you as deep as you can into her. The resulting cry of your name leaving her lips is utterly intoxicating, and you unravel as she wraps her legs around you.
"Mine!" you growl and empty every drop you have in her, fully intending to consummate whatever this night becomes. Jiyoung extends your peak, her warmth pulling in more of your seed into her, every addictive moan of your name driving one more tired pump of your hips, chasing that one more jolt of intimate bliss. Her touch is soft on your face, and when you look at her, makeup smeared with tears and drool, she never looked more beautiful. You kiss her, again and again.
Yet as the two of you finally disconnect, the haze lifts from the two of you, far too coldly, far too harshly. When your pupils return to their usual size, so does reality, in the form of the sizable puddle between Jiyoung's legs.
"Jiyoung I—shit, sorry, let me—" Sniffling and stumbling, Jiyoung waves you off, staggering to the bathroom to clean up, her thighs a shining mess. Dumbstruck, you simply clean her sheets best you can as you hear her run the shower. When she exits she is almost distant, as if the two of you just had another quickie instead of the most emotional sex of your lives.
"Your turn, I'll change the sheets out." Mutely you nod, running cold water over your face as you try to process the million thoughts in your head. When you exit, you are still just as wrong-footed, and your thoughts are closer to the fogged up mirrors in her bathroom than the transparent glass of water awaiting you.
"You should drink," Jiyoung gestures to the water.
"Yeah, thanks."
"Just stay the night, you can drive me from here tomorrow."
"Sure, are you... okay?"
"Yes, today's a safe day." That's not what you meant to ask, but she leaves no further room for conversation, turning the light off and facing away from you, putting up a barrier that seemed impenetrable. Why is she suddenly putting up a defense against you?
Befuddled, exhausted, and drained, you turn the other way, falling into a confused slumber. In your deep sleep you don't hear the rustle of the sheets as she scoots towards you. Nor do you feel her arms around you waist, or her warmth against your back as she spoons you through the night.
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You wake up the next day to a gentle shake.
"Hey, I have to go to the airport soon, should I call a taxi instead?"
"No no, I said I was going to drive you, just let me splash some water on my face."
The drive to the airport is deafeningly silent, there were so many questions you wanted to ask, but Jiyoung is in no mood to answer, putting in her earbuds and closing her eyes. Thankfully there is no media swarm this time, and with little fanfare you help her check in and walk her to immigration.
"Thanks for driving me over."
"Of course." You pause for a moment, then follow it up with a simple, non-threatening question. "When will you be back?"
"I don't know, I might comeback for some of the promotions, but that's up in the air."
"Okay, can you let me know if you're back? I think we should talk then." Or right now, you almost added.
"Since when did you get so clingy?" Jiyoung teases, but her attempt to lighten the mood falls on your serious expression, and she follows up softly. "I will, I'll let you know."
"Great! So umm, goodbye for now I guess, have a good flight." You make to pull her in for a hug, but Jiyoung resists you, more aware than you are of potential paparazzi. Stay, don't go! you shout in your mind, settling for a friendly pat on the arm instead.
"Thanks, I'll see you soon." Ask me to stay, and I will! Jiyoung’s hand covers yours, running a thumb against your palm, as if she wanted to remember your touch. She yearned for you to make a move—she would cancel her ticket on the spot if you wanted her to stay, if she wasn't afraid of her own feelings, afraid of the magic of last night, afraid of the near impossibility of it happening again if she leaves now. 
Sadly, you are just as afraid as she is, and all you do is wave impotently as she passes into immigration. Neither of you see the bittersweet smile of the other, divided by a pane of frosted glass, thickened by cowardice.
"Miss? Are you okay?" The immigration officer curiously asks as they look up from Jiyoung's passport.
"Oh, yes, sorry." Hastily she wipes the stray tear from her face and hardens her expression.
"Just had to say goodbye to a loved— someone I'll miss very much."
A/N: KARA comeback let’s go! Not really in the public eye in Korea anymore, and she’s more active in Japan nowadays, but I don’t care lol, she’s absolutely stunning. Tried something a little less fluffy this time, no happy ending, but I think I like happy endings more in general. Thanks for reading!
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bihansthot · 10 months
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I’m probably not going to be around much today lovelies, as I mentioned earlier in the week it’s the 25th anniversary of my heart transplant and ngl it’s weird. I’m in a weird place today, I’m trying really hard not to be sad or upset or think about how traumatic that night was. I don’t remember a lot about the night but I remember the phone ringing late at night maybe just after midnight and I remember going into my parents bedroom, they didn’t have to come get me, and I said “it’s time”, I just knew it as soon as I heard the phone and they confirmed it and we relatively calmly got our stuff and drove to the hospital. I had no idea what I was getting into and had I known, I would have not reacted as calmly as I did. I remember they had to draw blood before the procedure to use during the operation, I remember it taking over 25 attempts to get all the blood they needed and I was sobbing, I was in so much pain and I absolutely hated getting my blood drawn as a kid and while 14 isn’t exactly a little kid anymore it’s certainly not an adult either. I still remember the nurse who was there with us, she had a very distinct, raspy voice despite being quite young and to this day people with that type of voice bring back this very unpleasant memory. I don’t remember anything after the blood draw, they give you medication to help you forget traumatic operations and it doesn’t get much more traumatic than a heart transplant. I don’t really remember much of recovery either, I do remember how painful it was when they made me walk though. I wanted to go home and they said I had to walk to the end of the hall to go home and if I couldn’t do it they would keep me at the hospital another day. You better believe I dragged all my various IVs and monitors down that hallway in an instant. My incision was bleeding afterwards and I felt like I was going to collapse but I held that shit together like the stubborn ass I am and gave them a smile and told them it was nothing and I was ready to go. Shockingly they didn’t notice the bloody incision or my clear exhaustion and I was allowed to go home after only 7 days which at the time was a record. The weeks and months that followed were absolute agony, a heart transplant is a ridiculously painful procedure the only time I’ve ever been in more physical pain is when I threw up from my painkillers after having my tricuspid valve replaced 10 years ago. It was awful, I couldn’t even wash myself, I had to have my mother give me a bath like I was a five year old and that was humiliating but I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just too painful to move my arms to wash myself when my whole sternum had been ripped open and was now held together by twist ties and super glue. Then there was the near constant pain from the weekly biopsies to check for rejection, they basically jam a catheter into your neck and then rip little chunks of your heart out to check to make sure your body isn’t rejecting the organ. On top of all that I gained so much weight from the medications and steroids I was on and my mother was an absolute monster about it. We had a very bad very toxic relationship during this time, she ridiculed me constantly but I depended on her for so much that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to die. I don’t want to get to into it though but it was really hard so trying to think positively about today is really difficult but on the positive side of things I’m still here. I made it through all that hardship, all that struggle, all that physical and mental anguish. I survived. For 25 years I have survived and while everyday hasn’t been easy, I didn’t give up. I guess I deserve to celebrate that at least even if I don’t like dwelling on all the misery I’ve endured. So, happy anniversary me, you’ve done the best you could and deserve a nice celebration. I know a lot of you lovelies aren’t going to read this but if you do, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me outside of being a horny Bi-Han fangirl. 💙
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
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This is probably gonna get long and it’s personal and it’s just me having sad feelings so please don’t feel like you need to read ❤️
If it isn’t like really clear from just the way I post about Liam, it’s always just been me and him.
It was just me when I was pregnant (and that’s a hell of a story because I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was already almost four months along), it was me during labor (and my mom but if you’ve ever been in labor with your mom there you know that’s kinda hit or miss), and me 24/7 since he was born.
It’s just me on the birth certificate (even though I could have done things differently).
It’s just me.
And like most of the time, especially as he’s gotten older, I’m pretty okay. Kind of glad actually. I can raise him the way I want to and I know that we have a bond that’s really incredible and unique. I know that because he’s such a good little human, I’m doing alright.
But there are some days (like Father’s Day) where it hits me way harder than it probably will ever hit him that it’s JUST me.
I don’t have a partner in this. I’m 100% responsible 100% of the time for him. Physically, emotionally, financially (hence, the fundraising for hockey).
And it’s not necessarily sadness that we call Father’s Day Papa’s Day instead (he always gets my dad a small gift), but more just an overwhelming feeling of failure?
Even though I know really I’m not failing him, I’m working hard every day to make things better for both of us, days like today are just a reminder that I have to keep doing better.
It’s a lot of pressure.
Every parent feels it regardless of the support they have (and I do have a lot of other support!), but at the end of the day, I’m the only parent he’s got.
He’s never had questions. Honestly, I’ve been mentally prepared for them for years because he’s always been a very curious kid. But not once has he asked about who I refer to as his sperm donor (it’s okay you can laugh it’s a coping mechanism and it’s funny as fuck), and I’ve never felt the need to tell him unless he asks. I’m sure a lot of it is because he has SO many amazing people who love him. My platonic soulmate is his uncle just as much as my sister is his aunt, I’ve lived with my parents since I had him so they’ve been around constantly, we have a second family who always tells us to “come home” when we’re gonna be at hockey for two days in a row.
It sounds whiny because I DO have so much support.
But I think it’s just hard to know that the support I thought I would have wasn’t there and my entire life had to adjust because of it. Liam’s entire life is different because of it.
In the long run, it’s for the better. But some days, like today, it really hits me that we both missed out on something.
I’m also coming down from the adrenaline of last weekend and I always have a hell of a crash after concerts/time with my person/overwhelming things like my first pride. And my period just ended. That definitely doesn’t help.
So if you read this, you’re a real one. I’m not one to shy away from my personal life much, I find a lot of value in sharing things in case someone else feels the same way and is looking for validation. Plus I don’t have insurance/money for a therapist so this is the next best thing!
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