#and I had to find out through my dad... social media fails me ;-;

[cosmicquilt]

Art trade with @zomplush! Zomplush drew a Teruko, go check it out!

[taesanluv3r]

mini me.

girl dad! taesan au <3

based on this taesan scenario i posted. u and taesan's daughter is a menace (just like her dad), her name is vivienne bcs i've always wanted to name a daughter vivienne, vivi for short!! HEHEHEH reader is taesan's wife n mother of the kid btw <3 vivi calls her parents mommy n daddy TT no warnings tbh i think there's just one cuss word in the opening, fluffy cuteness, taesan is soooooo girl dad ugh. lowercase intended, pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors!! MWAHHH ENJOYYYY

wc: 3,739

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"oh for fuck's sake!"

han taesan laughs as his wife's loud voice echoes through the walls of their shared home, smiling softly when the little girl sat on his lap tilts her head in confusion at her mother's sudden exclamation coming from the other room. "what's up with mommy?" han vivienne wonders innocently, her tiny eyebrows furrowed as she looks up at her dad who was just as confused as she was. "i don't know but it looks like we are about to find out!" he whispers in response, the sound of footsteps emerging from the opening that lead into the living room where they sat.

a furious looking yn walks through the door. she's all dressed up in a matching all-black skirt and blazer set, her hair neatly tucked behind her ear, all ready to head to work. pretty, taesan thought, but he just couldn't ignore the fact that his wife looked like she was about to burn the building down. "what's wrong, darling?" the man's voice is soft and he begins to get up from his spot on the couch, telling his daughter to go play with her new toys while he talked to her mom. "everything! my meeting got pushed back further and now the new shipment for the store is delayed. and then my social media manager decided she can't come into work today because of some family issue and then on top of that, vivi's babysitter just quit! just like that! when she was supposed to come in and look after vivi today! it's just so...ugh!" the woman whines, slumping down on the couch as her hands made their way to cover her face in absolute stress. taesan's face softens at the sight, sitting himself down right beside her and rubbing little circles against the small of her back.

"hey, hey...don't stress too much okay? look at me..." he says sweetly, grabbing either side of her face to look at him. taesan shoots her an assuring smile, that same smile that never failed to send a swarm of butterflies to crowd inside of her tummy. "look, you just get to work and make the most out of it...i'll take vivi out today, okay? i don't have any work today so, i can take care of her, alright? don't worry, darling! you worry too much" he said, giggling when she leans into his chest and wrapping his long arms around her to pull her closer. "yeah mommy, you worry too much!" the squeaky voice of their one and only child interrupts their loving moment. the couple separated, watching as vivi climbs into her dad's lap once again before she turns to face her mother. "you know your hair will turn grey like a grandma if you worry so much!" her cheerful tone combined with her innocent grin makes her harsh words somewhat more bearable, a dramatic sigh escaping the woman's lips as she leans forward to attack the little girl in a ticklish set of kisses. "ah! mommy stop! daddy, save me!" vivi squeals in between giggles, crawling away from the woman's grasp to hide behind her father. the adult pair share a laugh and then a kiss before yn gets up to finally head out for the day.

"okay, mommy has to get to work and try to sort everything out in the office now. vivi..." yn drags out, her eyes narrowing as she looks down at her cheeky daughter who was the spitting image of the mischievous man she had married. "mhm...?" the girl replies, mimicking the way her mom prolonged her words. "you go bond with daddy for the day, okay? behave yourself, please?" instead of sounding like a command, the woman's words came out sort of like a plead. "hm..." vivienne begins, a tiny hand placed against her chin as she looks up in the air to think. "no promises! bye mommy! go now or you'll be late" she didn't even give her mom enough time to process the words before beginning to push at her legs to get her out the door. "bye darling! be safe, love you!" taesan calls out in between laughs, finding the mini version of himself's antics to be just...amusing.

"so...it's just me and you today, huh?" the man inquires, scooping the little girl up into his arms and pressing a happy peck onto her forehead. she squeals, playfully pushing his face away. she lets out a high-pitched giggle, the sound giving him slight cuteness aggression and it took every muscle in his body to not just stuff his daughter into his pockets at that very moment. "so what should we do today, hm? what do you want to do, love?" he asks, one of his large hands beginning to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her tiny little ears. "i know! i know!" vivi exclaims, her head that was leant against his chest shifting so that they were face to face.

"let's go to the mall!" she has this huge smile on her face, teeth showing and all, it was the kind of grin that you just could never say no to. not that han taesan would ever say no to his only child, his daughter, his little girl, the light of his life, his forever baby, his own clone, he would never! even if it meant spending all of his money on her every single time they stepped foot in the nearby mall...or any place that had things for sale for that matter...

a prayer for taesan's wallet, please.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"okay, so i watched a video on youtube...shouldn't be that hard, right?"

oh, but the ambitious dad was far too confident in his craft. as it turns out, doing a little girl's fishtail braid was far more complex than any kind of thing he's done before. he doubts himself for a second, she must've caught the way his eyes shook with worry from the mirror because in a second she had turned around to look up at the man, lifting her fists up in the air as she began to speak. "you can do this, daddy! i believe in you!" except the three year old could barely speak without stumbling over her words, her Ls turning into W sounds and the S in 'this' coming out with a lisp- but it's the thought that counts. taesan could almost feel the way his heart melted into a billion pieces, he began to wonder how on earth he got lucky enough to call this little menace his own child. then, with one deep breath and a newly found confidence, he separates a handful of his daughter's hair into four sections, saying a silent prayer before beginning to plait it just like the young woman in the tutorial did.

"is it done yet? i'm getting bored!" vivi whines, hands fiddling with the hem of her pink sweater. it's been nearly an hour since her father started working on her hair and it's safe to say that it was going nowhere! "um...hold on a minute...uh..." the man inhales all too loudly, staring at the entanglement of hair in front of him. "is it done? does it look cool?" the girl's eyes widen in excitement, staring into his own through their reflection. "well..." he trails off, biting his lip to stifle the laugh that was about to escape from it. "daddy, i wanna see!" her little arms were crossed over her chest in frustration and impatience. "i think...i think we should just leave your hair down today, love" her reaction to his suggestion was priceless, the excitement she previously displayed long gone and the most deadpan and uninterested look took it's place. taesan chuckles, "sorry, love. i'll try again next time, yeah?" he reasons, watching the way she nods in defeat and sighs as he began to unbraid (if you could even call that catastrophe a braid) his daughter's hair.

"can we go to the mall now? want ice cream!" vivienne says, tugging at her dad's vintage jeans. "mhm, go put on your shoes and we'll go" he watches as she runs over to the shoe rack towards the entrance of their home, an amused look plastered onto his face as his daughter struggles to put on her own shoes. if his wife were home right now, she would yell at him for standing still and not helping, but since she wasn't there at the moment the man took his time to laugh a little. "daddy...help me, please" vivi frowns, beginning to get annoyed by the footwear. taesan nods once, still giggling slightly as he bent down to sit on the floor with her. "watch closely i'll teach you to tie your laces now" he says, each end of the white laces in either one of his hands as he starts to demonstrate. "and then you loop this one over-" he was cut off by a baby-like scoff and a sassy eye roll from his kid. "daddy, can't you hurry up now?" he sighs, obliging and wondering where she had inherited the impatience from (ahem him ahem).

the car ride to the mall was peaceful for the most part. vivi insisted on sitting in the passenger seat, not wanting to be away from her dad for a second. taesan focused on driving, opening a bag of crackers for her to munch on so she wouldn't start whining about the rumbling in her tummy. "daddy what ice cream are you gonna get?" she asks, crumbs falling out of her mouth and her voice muffled by the half-chewed crackers. "me? hm..." he thought deeply about the answer, the car going dark as they entered the tunnel that lead to the basement parking area. "i don't know yet. what are you getting, love?" his hands graze the steering wheel, waiting for a response from the girl. "guess!" she exclaimed, hands in the air and a huge smile on her face. "maybe...mint chocolate?" taesan has a smirk on his face, knowing full well that was the wrong answer. "ew! no way daddy...that's gross! yuck!" he chuckled, parking the car as it came to a halt.

"c'mon" the man said, bending down to unlatch her seatbelt and lifting her out of the car before shutting the door and locking it. vivi grabbed onto his hand, tumbling slightly as she walked beside him in a zig-zag pattern. "ice cream time!" the girl squeals, the cool air-conditioning of the mall sending small goosebumps to appear on her tiny legs beneath her denim skort. taesan shook his head, "we gotta have some lunch before ice cream, love. or else your mommy would be very angry" he looked down for a moment just in time to catch her dramatic frown, chuckling at her sudden change in demeanor. "but i want ice cream" the man sighs, patting a hand against her head when she moves to hug his leg. "i know, love. and i will get you your ice cream after lunch, okay?" the tiny han girl nods in understanding, "now let go of daddy's leg so i can walk, please?" this time she shook her head, a playful and menacing smirk on her lips as she hugged him tighter. taesan clicks his tongue, beginning to waddle down the mall like an idiot.

"han vivienne...you will be the death of me"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"ice cream time!" vivienne repeats for the second time that day, shooting her dad a smile which he returned happily. "ice cream time!" he says as well, eyes widening slightly when she tugs him forward, walking so fast and pulling his arm with her. "okay, what flavour do you want, love?" taesan asks, his hands on his hips as he looked over all the options. "i can't see..." the girl mumbles, silently asking for her father to carry her up to his level. "oh, right, my bad" he panics, hastily bending down to lift her up. "um...i want...stawbelly!" her tiny voice breaks his heart into pieces, "you want strawberry? yeah? alright, one strawberry and one salted caramel, please" he's about to put her down but she refuses to let go of him (clingy baby TT). taesan laughs softly, "i gotta put you down so i can pay, love" he whispers, carefully bending down so that she could stand on her own.

"thank you, daddy" vivi says, smiling as she takes one large bite out of her strawberry ice cream. "you're welcome, love. is it yummy?" he asks, scooping up a spoonful of from his own cup. she nods joyfully, "mhm! it's delichuz!" the man furrows his eyebrows, "you mean, delicious?" he asks, trying to understand his daughter's baby talk. "yeah duh! that's what i said, silly" taesan laughs once again at his child's loud personality, grabbing a tissue to wipe away her dessert-stained cheeks as she messily slurped up the last of her sweet treat. "look here, i'm gonna send mommy a picture" he says, smiling when she strikes a silly pose. "mommy is gonna be so jelly!" she states and he nods, stacking up their empty cups to toss in the bin later.

"so...where to next, love?"

there's only one correct answer to that question. only one place in the whole mall, apart from the ice cream parlor, that feeds purpose to sweaty three year olds like han vivienne. a brightly lit store, rows and rows of all kinds of objects displayed clearly on shelves. every kid's dream, a place they would live in if they could, a place where all their parents end up spending the last of their monthly salaries in...

the toy store.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but han vivienne was no ordinary child. she was a menace, a spoiled brat, and had absolutely no shame. especially if it meant her loving father had to pay for it. and whatever happens at the toy store was no exception.

vivi squeals as she lets go of her father's hand to run into the store, the tall man following closely behind her. "hello there, what can i help you with?" one of the young ladies near the door asks, bending down to the kid's level to chat with her. "where are all the barbies?" she asks back sweetly, batting her eyelashes innocently as she spoke. "ah, right this way!" the lady energetically says, guiding the little menace over to where all the dolls were. "yay!" she cheers, her dad still walking behind her in a much slower pace. "ack!" she shouts, struggling to reach the beach-themed set that stood in a higher shelf, signaling for the employee to help her out a little. "oh, i got it, i'll help you hold it" the lady offers, earning a squeaky thank you in response. a few minutes go by and what was the one barbie doll in the worker's hand, had become a stack of five more similar toys.

"are you sure you want all of these?" the lady asks, her eyes widening when little vivienne hands her one final doll set. "mhm! don't worry, lady...daddy will pay for it! right, daddy?" the girl turns to grin widely at taesan. taesan who's cheeks were bright red from slight embarrassment, and eyebrows were tilted slightly so as to apologize to the poor employee his daughter had been dragging around. "okay, that's enough toys, vivi...now help the kind lady bring them to the register, please" his daughter nods, grabbing two out of the seven toys she had picked out and beginning to trot over to the counter to check out.

"yay!! thank you, daddy! i wuv you!" the little girl cheers, wrapping her tiny arms tightly around her father's leg. taesan chuckles, patting her head softly, "of course, love" the lady at the cash register smiles as she begins to pack away the toys into a paper bag. "her mom must be jealous..." she says, causing the man to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "what do you mean?" he asks, putting his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans. "i mean, your daughter looks exactly like you...makes me wonder what her mother looks like, sorry if it came off rude or anything...that's not my intention" taesan shakes his head, "no, you're alright..." he trails off, "you're right though. my wife tells me everyday how similar vivi is to me..." he continues, turning to look at the miniature version of himself who seemed to have found a mirror to stare into. "she's a daddy's girl, huh?" the lady asks, making him laugh. "i guess so..."

the conversation ends there. "here you go!" the cashier says, handing the man the big bag of toys he had just paid for. "thank you so much. hey vivi, you wanna come hold your things?" taesan watches as vivienne twirls around and waddles over to him. "hm...that's okay daddy, you can hold it!" the cashier bursts into laughter at the conversation exchanged between the father and daughter. "that sass...that's all from her mother" he tells the lady, shaking his head in defeat as the little menace grabbed a hold of his large hand, the bag of toys in the other one. "come again soon!" the employee says, waving goodbye at the little girl and her parent. vivienne grins one last time,

"don't worry, lady. we will!"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

the father and daughter duo are back home now. the rest of the evening was spent happily bonding within the comfort of their home. he had listened to her endless yapping about all the new toys she got today, smiling sheepishly at the little chatterbox he contributed in creating as they sat together on the floor by the television in their living room. then he put on her favourite show on the tv, letting her sit in silence with her stuffed animals as he waltzed over to the kitchen to prepare their meal for dinner. it began to rain outside so he had his doubts on ordering in, not wanting to burden the poor delivery man who would have to travel in this kind of weather. so instead, taesan opted for some instant noodles for the night- with no objections from his mini me either, of course.

"daddy lookie! i can slurp the noodles like uncle woonhak!" vivi says, tapping at her dad's shoulders to grab his attention. "oh yeah?" the older one asks, watching closely as the girl practically inhaled a forkful of noodles, causing her to choke up a bit from the broth. "ahem" she coughed and taesan panicked for a second, getting up to fill her disney princess cup with some water for her to drink. once they had finished up their dinner, the man carried his daughter back over to the couch, turning the show back on to occupy her while he put away the dishes and cleaned up in the kitchen. he quickly took out the trash as well, knowing his wife was coming home late tonight and deciding to do all the housework so she didn't have to worry about it the way she tended to.

"vivi, my love" he called out, walking over to where she was playing with her dolls on the couch. "come on, let's take a shower and get ready for bed" he said, beginning to put away some of the toys that remained scattered on the carpeted floor. "but we can still wait for mommy later, right?" the kid mumbles, her voice quieting down from the tiredness that finally began to seep through her little body. he smiled, nodding as he stretched his arms out to carry her into his arms. the dad's heart melted and his face softened as his baby nuzzles deep into his chest. he leans down to press a soft kiss against the very top of her head, holding her tight as they made their way over to the master bathroom to run a bath.

the warm bath paired with the combinations of lavender scented baby oils were enough to get the sleepy kid into a state ready for slumber. however, the purple pajama-wearing child remained stubborn, insisting that she could stay awake long enough to greet her mother when she got home. all taesan could do was laugh, knowing her words were far from the truth. but he nods along anyways, following her into the master bedroom and laying down under the comfortable covers. "i want Tayo!" vivienne requests, watching happily as the man puts on the show on his tv. she sings along to the intro song silently, encouraging for her dad to do the same too. soon, the kid who swore she wasn't tired yet began to drift off to sleep. her head resting against his chest, his fingers softly stroking through her freshly washed hair.

taesan didn't care to change the channel on the television. honestly, he was beginning to like the show about the little bus far more than he'd admit. the soft snoring coming from his daughter sent a feeling of warmth to engulf his own body. the man's gaze moved from the tv screen over to his precious child, he pressed a loving peck on her forehead, smiling to himself as she shifted in her sleep. "i love you, my mini me" he whispers, just a decibel louder than his heartbeat. a minute more went by and the creak of the front door causes his ears to perk up.

"taesan? vivi? i'm home!" yn's familiar voice echoes through the walls, a smile unconsciously sneaking onto his lips. "we're in the bedroom!" the man yelled out as quietly as he could so he wouldn't wake the one snuggled against his chest. "hey, darling" he says when his wife finally enters the room, she looked exhausted, must've been a long day at work. "she asleep already?" the mother asks, leaning down to pat her daughter's slumberous head. her husband nods, sitting up carefully to catch her lips in his own. yn smiled into the kiss, as did he when they began to separate again. "so..." the woman begins, taking off her work clothes as she prepares herself for a shower. "what did you two do all day?" her question lingers in the air as she disappears into the bathroom, leaving taesan alone with the images of today replaying in his head.

"well, for starters..." he began, moving so that vivienne was fully laying on the bed. "we went to the mall today.." taesan gets up, following his wife into their shared bathroom. yn looked at him through the mirror, giggling when he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed sweet kisses against her neck. "mhm...and then?" she asks, telling him to continue as she began to remove her makeup. "oh, and then that daughter of ours...she totally ran my wallet dry at the toy store..."

there was a pause for dramatic effect.

"again?!"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

HEHEH girl dad! taesan ☹️💘 i love him i love him i love him!!!!!! also han vivienne is such a cutesy name for a girl aw <3 anyways this fic made me kind of softy soft soft i might cryyyy 😭 hope u enjoyed, reblogs n feedbacks r so appreciated!! tysm for reading! love, kona.

[undercoveravenger]

The Flower Patch

Pairing: Alex Claremont-Diaz x Male!Reader

Requested: Yes

Request: “Okay so since you are doing red white and royal blue can you do an Alex x male reader. He doesn’t have the best family so he’s always working at the florist shop And photography business. Alex being the amazing boyfriend he is starting to notice and just sets up something cute or just wraps him in his arms asking what’s wrong. (Also I don’t know if you remember but I requested that Hamish duke and sad reader request and I don’t think I thank you enough because I still read it sometimes. Long way of saying love your work and what you do)

A/N: Okay, your ask was so sweet I almost died. This dynamic ended up being so fun though! I loved this ask (and your last one too!) so if you’ve got anymore, feel free to send them my way. Glad my writing can make a difference for you ♥️

—--

In the year and a half since Alex and you had started dating, he’d quickly learned that you tended to hide out at the flower shop you worked at when something was wrong. The bright colors and sweet smelling flowers had always helped lift your spirits in a way that nothing else seemed to, so when he hadn’t heard from you in the past two days, he had a strong suspicion of where he’d find you.

Sure enough, he’s able to spot the back of your head over one of the rows of potted tulips as he makes his way into The Flower Patch. You’re slightly crouched, the sleek black camera in your hands directed at a bundle of roses, lilies, and babies’ breath in a crystal vase, clearly preparing to take another of the photos that decorate the shop’s website and social media.

“Excuse me, sir,” Alex calls out, a smile tugging at his lips as he stops to watch you, “Can you point me toward the love of my life?” He tries (and fails) not to snicker as you jump, startled by your boyfriend’s appearance.

“Not funny,” you say, but Alex can still pick out the slight grin twisting at the corner of your mouth. 

Alex hums, moving to stand behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “A little funny,” he corrects, setting his chin on your shoulder and watching you work. He’d always been amazed at the way you were able to capture a moment with your camera, to frame your subject perfectly in order to freeze time. You were able to capture lighting and highlight textures in a way he’s never seen from other photographers, to make him feel like he could reach through the frame and touch the things you photograph. “Now, are you going to tell me what happened or are we just going to pretend you’re working on your day off just for fun?”

Alex can feel the way you tense against him, shoulders stiffening and knuckles paling as you clutch tighter to your camera. 

“Not sure what you mean,” you say and Alex knows you well enough to know what must’ve happened.

“Right, you were meant to be working today all along, huh?” He knows you weren’t. You always have Wednesdays off- that’s why they’d become date nights. So for you to be working today means that something must’ve happened that made you want to get out of the house and work was the easiest excuse. He knows you well enough to know that you don’t want to think about what must’ve happened if you’re dodging his questions the way you are. “Well, how would you feel about coming over after your shift? My mom and dad are going to be stuck working late, but you and I can take over the theater and have a movie night if you want? I’ve got all your favorite snacks?” Alex can’t help but smile as you relax back into him again, his heart warming at the pleased little sigh that escapes you. “Yeah,” you say, setting your camera aside and turning in his arms to tuck your head against the side of his neck. “Yeah, that sounds good.” As much as Alex hates what you go through with your family, he’s happy to know that you feel safe with him. That your escape had extended past your camera and the beautiful blooms of The Flower Patch to include him.

[fruitytrollroll]

Nine Sols' narrative themes inform every gameplay element btw. if u even care.

saw someone call Nine Sols' gift sysrem for Shuanshuan "too dialogue-heavy" and "pointless" and I went temporarily insane

if the quest moments with Shuanshuan feel "pointless", it's because they are meant to be their own reward and you did them out of obligation!!! why!!! nobody was holding you at gunpoint to MAKE you raise this beautiful precious forgiving baby boy who loves you and nursed you back to health—but like a deadbeat dad on a custody visit just to be compliant with a court order, you spent time with him anyway and you resented him for it. WHAT!!!

also can NOT overstate how the games' themes of revenge and redemption tie into these scenes. they are not by ANY MEANS pointless!!! the way Yi goes out of his way to preserve his culture, by sharing it with the APEMAN he's raising, speaks VOLUMES about Yi's character growth in the 2 years since he and Shuanshuan began living together.

I was personally endeared by Shuanshuan immediately, and was delighted I had gifts to give him—AND that they each had bespoke cutscenes that revealed lore information about Solarian culture, and background information about Yi and Shuanshuan'a lives together?? do you guys know how rare and special it feels to have a gift system that WORKS like this??? SO many games give you garbage trinkets to throw at your companions for a quantifiable affection boost, so I cannot overstate how deeply impressive and heartfelt and dedicated to their story Red Candle Games clearly was to have put in the time and effort to make their gift mechanic so deeply character-driven, with custom animations and environmental changes for every skill you teach Shuanshuan. 🥺🧸✨️

if you don't like social sim elements in games, or the characters didn't succeed in endearing themselves to you, that's fine. They're not for everyone—but I suspect my experience was the intended one! you're supposed to like and care about these characters enough to bring them the gifts you find on your travels of your own volition!!

if you DON'T care about the characters, you can skip their scenes, and the game respects your time by LETTING you do that, AND by giving you an ending that is less involved in the characters' lives. but if you resent these scenes because "ugh i HAVE to do this to get the TRUE ending 🙄" then idk!! I think you are playing the game wrong!!

I think RCG gave players an opportunity to not care, and a perfectly satisfying ending despite it all (THE BETTER ENDING AND LESS EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING ENDING, IN MY OPINION, BECAUSE RCG IS SO MEAN TO ME 😭), and if you passed that up for completionism's sake... IDK!!

I genuinely think achievments have poisoned too many games that don't benefit from them! Gone are the olden days of playing your big sister's SNES games blind—no online guides, no guardrails, just getting lost and wandering around the overworld, just playing by vibes alone and if you get stuck u just have to take a break and come back later instead of looking up a guide online because there wasn't even a GameFAQs page for it yet—but on GOD we need to get back there. Play games blind. Don't look up guides. JUST ENJOY IT, JUST ENGAGE WITH THE MEDIA, WE DON'T NEED INSTRUCTIONS I PROMISE, YOUR INNOCENT NASCENT FUMBLING IS ENOUGH, YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME AND HAVE FUN WITHOUT SOME CHODE ON "HARDCOREGAMER" DOT COM GIVING YOU A DISRESPECTFULLY SPOILERIFIC BREAKDOWN OF A PATH OR BOSS FIGHT OR ITEM LOCATION THAT ROBS YOU OF THAT JOY OF DISCOVERY!!

anyway. yes, if you forced yourself to sit through the dialogue of character-driven scenes for characters you didn't even like or feel compelled by, just to get the "True" end, then I imagine it would feel "pointless" and like "too much text". But failing to catch your interest is not a failure of the game's storytelling if you only disliked it because you were forcing yourself to do it for the achievment, just to get an ending that wasn't made with your play style in mind!!!

"it doesn't even affect the game's ending :/" *LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*!!! ALL the sidequests have the CUMULATIVE effect of changing the ending! this is because Yi is a ruthless, analytical scientist deposed from his seat of political power in New Kunlun on a quest for revenge—yet he spent precious time doing a bunch of "pointless" sidequests for his friends he's come to care about, which allowed the villain's brewing plot the precious time it needed to come further to fruition. Yi is on a REVENGE quest, and it is the very act of saving Shuanshuan (thus alerting the island's security systems to Yi's presence) that puts a timeline on that revenge. He exposed himself for someone he cared about, putting his revenge in jeopaedy—and he postponed that revenge still further to make amends to the apemen he once thought so little of as to be complicit in their heinous exploitation!!! YI IS GROWING HE'S CHANGING, SHUANSHUAN CHANGED HIS HEART, AND IT'S ONLY IN THE TRUE ENDING YI CAN COMPLETE HIS CHARACTER ARC BY REALIZING HE FUCKED UP AND ACTUALLY REPENT (EVEN IF I HATE IT BECAUSE IT'S THE SADDEST ENDING, FUCK YOU RED CANDLE GAMES 😭)

also combat is focused around the parry because this game's primary thematic underpinning is giving proof to the age-old adage "fuck around and find out" (it's revenge it's about reVENGE IT'S ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND CHANGE AND REVENGE)

[graciegoeskrazy]

If you’re living and you’re 17

Pairings: Matty Healy x Teen!Daughter!reader, George Daniel x Teen!Niece!reader

Warnings, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM, lots of cursing lmao, yelling, so much fucking angst, mentions of losing friends, shitty fathers for a second, lil cliffhanger (?),

A/N: Requested by a super sweet anon! I ended up adding to the original idea so sorry if it’s not how u invisioned it but the creative juices kept flowing and my fingers just kept on typing. Seeing the 1975 in ONE WEEK! Thx for all the love!

You walked inside the tour bus and was greeted with an overwhelming fume of drugs and laughter. Adam was the first to acknowledge you. “Y/n, you want some food? I’m ordering Chinese.”

“No, Thank you. I’m good.” You said, on your way to your bunk.

“What’s up with y/n? She seems off.” Adam said.

“I don’t know. Teenage hormones I guess.” You heard your father say, laughing.

Just then, Ross came bursting through the doors with a huge grin on his face. “It’s official mates! A 3rd leg is completely booked. 40 cites, almost every continent, and we’re ending it in Madison Square Garden!” Everyone cheered and smiled. All except you.

“God!? For how long?” You asked. A look of panic on your face.

“About a year?” Your mouth dropped in shock. You just turned to your dad and whispered a simple, yet strong, “Fuck you.”

You stormed off into to bunk room. Your dad rolled his eyes and said, “I hate teenagers.” causing the others to laugh. He followed you into the other room.

“Hey! What is going on with you lately?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry I said anything. I’m happy for you.”

“Really? Because that didn’t look like fucking happiness over there!” He was fuming. “Stop fucking lying to me, ok? Now, tell me what the fuck has gotten into you.”

You dropped everything and put your hands over your eyes. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Your father's anger continued. “What? Doing what?”

You suddenly stood up facing your father and letting it all go. “THIS! This! Living this crazy life with you and putting on a smile like everything is fucking fine, but nothing feels fucking fine! However many times I try to talk to you, Tell you how I’m feeling, tell you that I’m having thoughts of ending my life every single God damn day, tell you how much I hate my life with you, it never works because you never listen!”

Matty’s face contorted into confusion, his anger mostly dropping. “What do you mean?”

“God, it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall all the time. Are you even listening? Have you ever thought about listening to what I have to say? Or how I’m feeling? No. Because you never care for anything other than yourself.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“I’m tired, Dad. I’m tired of spending every waking hour of my life in a tour bus, or hotel room, a plane, or any bed that isn’t my own. I’m tired of your bullshit and you getting drunk every night partying with 40,000 people. I’m tired of getting blamed for the stupid shit that you say or do. I used to think that this whole tour thing would be fine. I would enjoy online school and maintain my relationships - and I did. Until you came along and did something that scared them away! Now all my friends are weird 30-year-olds and I’m failing in every class I take but I don’t even get the chance to tell you that I’m struggling! I’m tired of seeing you all over social media skipping from woman to woman who eventually gets tired of your bull shit or then find out you have a daughter and run scared. I wish I could be like them and run from Matty Healy the first chance I get, but I can’t because I’m stuck here. In this fucking smelly tour bus, letting you live your dream while I watch my entire life fade away.”

To say the least, Matty felt awful. How could he have been this blind? Had he really not noticed at all how much his own daughter was suffering? He was at a loss for words, and yet still tried to find the right ones. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“Thanks, Dad.” You said, Walking away and into the main space.

Everybody that was in there before had left except for Jamie, Ross, and George. When you walked in you immediately went up to George.

“Can I spend the night at your place?”

He gave you a weak smile and put his hand on your shoulder. “Yeah, of course.” He said.

_ _ _

Nearing showtime, you avoided your dad. Instead of hanging is his dressing room or the green room, watching him do his prep or play music together like you used to, you were in George’s. You told him that you would be fine if he went into the green room to hang out, but he wanted to leave you alone for as little as possible. You were thankful for George and all he did throughout your life. Sure, he was technically your official unofficial godfather, (official because your father deemed him that the day you were born and unofficial because your father also doesn’t believe in God so you never went through with the baptism) but ever since you were young he has always been a second parent to you.

After the show, George drove you back to his hotel room as promised and told you to get ready for bed. At one point he heard a loud thump of some sort come from the bathroom. You knocked over the soap dispenser on accident and picked it up with no problem. When George came around to check in on you and see what had happened, he noticed your arm.

Red and littered with marks all over.

His first reaction was to run to you, grab you, tell you to never do that again, slightly scream at you, and then make sure you were okay, but he knew this needed to be handled differently. He went back to the bed and waited.

You came back just a few minutes later and to no surprise, your sweatshirt was back on. “Ready for bed?” He asked. You nodded in response. He pulled back the covers to let you get in and stood up. He planted a kiss on your forehead before continuing. “I’ll be back, I gotta make a call.”

“Uhhhh, You’re not gonna tuck me in?”

“I just did!”

“That was a bad tuck. Plus you're not gonna stay with me?”

“It’s a work call. It’ll be fast.”

“Dude, it’s midnight,. Nobody you talk to at work is gonna answer. Especially my dad if you’re trying to call him. He’s probably black out drunk already.”

He let out a slight laugh. “Okay fine.” He agreed.

He got in on the other side and pulled you close - your head leaning on his chest. After a few minutes of going back and forth, he finally gave in and played the movie you wanted to play instead of what he wanted. It backfired on you though because within 20 minutes, you passed out. He chuckled at your quite, delicate snores and pulled out his phone, dialing your dad.

He answered right away. “How is she?”

“Well, given the circumstances i’d say she’s good. Calmed down a lot. She sound asleep right next to me.”

“Ok. Ok, that’s good.”

After a brief pause, George continued. “Listen, Matty, I gotta tell you something…about y/n.”

“OK?”

He cleared his throat before speaking. “She was getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth and stuff and I came in to check on her.”

“OK?”

“She had her sweatshirt off. She was in a tanktop, and there were red marks all up and down her arms.”

Matty couldn't believe what he was hearing. “Do you mean that she-”

“She selfharmed, mate.”

Matty wanted to burst into instant tears. “Jesus Christ.” He said.

“I didn't bring it up. She didn't even notice I was standing there. I just figured that even though you shouldn’t be having that conversation alone with her, it wasn’t right for just her and I to have it.”

“Yeah. You’re right. What happened after?”

“Nothing, She came out with the sweatshirt back on, I tucked her into bed, sat next to her and she fell asleep watching a movie.”

“Ok,” he said hesitantly.

“Listen, I’ll keep my eye on her tomorrow before the flight we’ve got to have a conversation with her.

“Alright.” Your father said.

All the while, you were fast asleep.

PART 2

[sinukiyo]

Author you did it again and never fail to leave us readers breathless👏🏼.

Hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts on your latest chapter as well as a deep dive on your characters as well.

Daichi my guy. You knocked up yo baby mama, abandoned her and left to raise yo kid BY HERSELF and you're upset that her mama and best friend are acting cold towards you. Boi miss me with that shit. You can but yeast in the oven and expect steak to come out. And it sure as hell doesn't seem like you understand the consequences of yo actions. On top of that you have a whole ass family (allegedly) and you wanna reconnect with Ami? Granted if the story does confirm that Daichi does in fact have a wife and a kid(s) that means he had the choice to step up and he could have stepped up. But he chose NOT TO. Like how can you say you want to be in yo kid's life SIX YEARS LATER while you already started something with someone else DURING THOSE SIX YEARS. And I'm curious to know why he waited six years to want to reconnect with Ami.

Kenji, my man, my man telling Daichi of like: "I'm hoping she'll grow out of having bad taste in sports teams just like she did her bad taste in... well, everything else." COLDEST LINE EVER. I WAS SCREAMING AND KICKING MY FEET. And I can't stop grinning. And that cute little moment with Chiho tells me he's still the best dad even after Emi.

My takeaway from this chapter is the importance of having people in your corner supporting you, and Ami has that. Mama Wakita, despite her disappointment in her daughter's choices, chose to be in her daughter's corner coz she, as a mother herself, understands what Ami is going through. And kudos to Juri for being a true best friend and a real one. And Kenji? Do we even have to explain? Like, really?

Many single mums/parents in Ami's position don't always have that luxury of having a support system. Half the times family and friends would just welcome back the absent parent with open arm with not consideration for the single parent's feelings because "they at least stepped up". It's kinda sad that social media is treating single parenthood, especially single motherhood, like it's some kind of achievement and a flex. It's admirable being able to raise your kid on your own without the other parent present you still NEED people in your corner. You NEED your own community coz believe it or not, single parenthood can be lonely at times, not just for you but for your kid also.

1. Y’all are going to find out why Daichi is just now showing up real soon! Brace yourself🗣️

2. Fun fact about Kenji’s line, I originally wrote, “I’m hoping she’ll grow out of her bad taste in sports teams just like she did her bad taste in men,” but even I gasped while re-reading it so I edited it because a more subtle jab is even more exciting than a direct one!

3. Kenji is the best dad! You’ll will be seeing more of him and Chiho in today’s chapter! I actually just took a break from writing to answer this ask.

4. Love your little takeaway because that supportive dynamic between Ami, her mom and Juri was a big part of this chapter fr😭 They may not have liked that Daichi was there but they understood and supported her still.

I for one have experienced the impact of a good community. Life can be so exhausting sometimes. We really do need people behind us.

Thank you for sharing!❤️

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Cece to Sia

Cece: So remember you told about your sister and ex-fiancée. I did some digging and hacking to find out your ex has been cheating on your sister and got several girls pregnant and your brother is in an affair with one of your dad’s colleagues wife. All the evidence is in these flash drives, yes I have four. Complete with pictures, texts, security footage and sex videos, yeah gross I know. Do what you want with this information 😇

Oooooooooooo Cece you scary-

I like to imagine they met for coffee between classes and before Sia's early shift at her work

Since they get along great, I have a feeling Cece wouldn't take any word she hears about Sia's family. Well, sucks for them that her sister is really trying to rub it in her face via social media and in person.

Aidon has been doing some meetings with Sia's family and of course through this her sister was just all up in her business to brag about her life.

"I'm gonna have my first baby in the spring. Isn't that amazing~!? Like I'm sooooo sad your love life failed but maybe you should try dressing more colorful and smiling more~ Oh! So Hubby got me these diamond earrings, aren't they the cutest~?"

So yeah, Sia's emotions are tense in this week

Cece listened to Sia have a mini vent drinking their coffees and came up with the idea

About two days later the two made up

To say Sia was shocked when she heard the news and how fast Cece works is a understatement.

But slowly....just slowly....the idea of that fiery rage of revenge slowly consuming her mind set

"Come by my place tonight so I can see these files first."

Later that night they had kind of a weird girls night with the USBs in a laptop and casted onto Sia's projector, Sia ordered a bunch of food for them, and had a laugh over all the proof Cece collected in both cackles of fun and in-awed shock

"EW! What does it look like that!?" "Thank God you didn't marry that"

They lowkey remind me of the ending seen of the Taste music video just without the sapphic details and the history of trying to kill each other

In the end Sia pushed the button of allowing Cece to first send one video to her ex-fiancé and brother in a form of blackmail and second send the whole copy of the folder created of all that to a gossip blogger while they kept the originals

[aerodaltonimperial]

the hookhausen story primer

Hey wrestling, I heard you like primers...

Are you a fan of delicious flavor, slow burn, and enemies to lovers, but you are overwhelmed by a list of links and kind of just want things explained to you in one spot so you can understand a story?? I gotchu, boo, let's talk about Hookhausen, since the fandom be WAKING UP AGAIN as we approach the eve of potential new content. I've put links to videos and such in here if you would like them but you don't have to click on them if you don't want and you will still get the whole story. Please consider this your one-stop shop! It's such a fun story and I hope more people can find it as compelling and wonderful as we do!! Additionally, for anyone new to wrestling, I've included explanations for lingo and such, so it is easier to read. (This is also for my mutuals who keep seeing me post shit and are like ‘please what is this why are these people half-naked and why are you so feral please explain this’ OKAY I AM TRYING.)

To start with, let’s meet our cast of characters! First, we have Danhausen.

Danhausen is originally an indie wrestler who went through a few gimmicks before settling on the one he’s got now, which is a slightly goofy, awkward demon who may or may not be from another world and curses people when they do something he doesn’t like and/or to win matches. He likes money. He doesn’t like people swearing. Sometimes he goes evil and pours teeth in people’s mouths. He may or may not also be one of the most powerful wrestlers on AEW’s roster in terms of cult following, merchandise sales, and using his social media almost entirely in kayfabe (in-character). This is important; a lot of his character development happens on SM.

Next, we have Hook.

Hook is a legacy, nepotism baby whose father, Taz, is a famous wrestler from the 90s/00s. Taz remains on AEW’s roster as a commentator who also, for awhile, had his own stable (team) called Team Taz. Hook started helping out with Team Taz during the pandemic, and after becoming sort of a staple behind the scenes, debuted in late 2021 on his own. He is a murder kitten who usually refuses to talk, be nice, or generally just do what people want him to. He can normally be found eating chips, wearing a hooded sweatshirt, and sulking. His signature move is his father’s old submission technique that he’s renamed Redrum. Currently, Hook has never lost a match. He is very, very, very pretty. It probably should be illegal.

You might think all of this Hookhausen stuff starts when the story begins in AEW canon (split between their shows: Dynamite and Rampage), but actually, it starts well before this point. I KNOW, it’s insanity. So in late 2021, Hook debuts in AEW after hanging around for a year or so with his dad. This is a big deal for him! And at the same time, Danhausen was benched with a massively broken leg from a match in October. Danhausen tweets several times about how cool Hook is. It’s enough to be noticeable, mostly because at this point, Danhausen is not signed with AEW. He continues to do this through January. In fact, he doesn’t officially appear in AEW until January 26, 2022, when he shows up on the show and they announce his signing on social media. The very next day, Danhausen uploads a photo of him and Hook together to his Instagram, captioned, “Send Hookhausen.”

But nothing much happens with this strange hint until February 24, when Danhausen finds Hook backstage and gives him chips, filming it for his vloghausen. But things go sour, for some reason, when, on March 25, 2022, Danhausen attempts to curse Hook on Rampage. Hook had just thrown a dude through the certificate of accomplishment that his former mentor, QT Marshall, attempted to give him. Nobody likes QT, so we don’t really care. However, Danhausen cared for some reason, and came out to curse Hook. It failed! Hook walked away without anything happening, and Danhausen expressed dismay and alarm that it hadn’t worked. Danhausen then began tweeting about how Hook had become “too powerful.”

Danhausen spends a few weeks trying to curse Hook on television. He tries during an interview, after popping out of a trash can, and then, after a tense altercation between Hook and another wrestler, Tony Nese (with Mark Sterling, his lawyer), in a gym. His last attempt is during one of Hook’s actual matches, when Danhausen emerges ringside and tries one last time to curse Hook. Naturally, it continues to fail. During this match, Tony Nese and Mark Sterling are also ringside, taking notes and talking together about Hook. Danhausen is so frustrated by his lack of success that he goes into the ring after Hook wins and challenges him directly. If Hook won’t be cursed, well then dagnabbit, he will fight Danhausen.

Hook sort of ignores this, because he’s Hook, and he doesn’t really care. This means Danhausen has to resort to the most EXTREME of measures: taking a bag of Hook’s potato chips and DESTROYING THEM ALL BACKSTAGE. Finally, a reaction! Hook slams Danhausen into the wall and says, “You wanted my attention? You got it now.” The feud officially begins.

Danhausen calls Hook out the next week to settle things. It’s not an official match, but it’s definitely going to be a fight when Hook comes out with his hands taped and his murder face on. The two are about to get into things when Mark Sterling comes out and asks the crowd if they really want to see the two of them fight. Of course, the crowd says yes. Danhausen and Hook are beloved crowd favorites. But then, Tony Nese attacks them both, because he’s angry that Hook keeps getting so much attention just for being a legacy brat. Hook drives them both off with some well-timed suplexes, and the crowd picks up the chant of “Hookhausen.” Danhausen decides this incident has united them, and offers his hand for a handshake. Hook just grabs him, yells in his face, and stalks out of the ring.

But after that, Tony Nese challenges Danhausen to a match, which is weird anyway, since Hook was the one who beat him when he launched his little ambush on them. Hook has another match, and at the end, Danhausen comes out to ask him to “be in Danhausen’s corner” during the match with Tony Nese. This match takes place on Hook’s birthday, May 4. Hook is still not budging an inch on this partnership thing, and shoves Danhausen after Danhausen touches him. But then Danhausen pulls out a little bag of potato chips with a bow on top and drops it into the ring before slinking out, leaving Hook to stare down at the birthday present. His face goes through some actual emotions. The crowd goes wild when he reaches down to pick up the bag…and then boos after he drops it again. Hook leaves it in the ring, offering nothing.

Danhausen’s match with Tony Nese happens on May 11, 2022. It’s his AEW debut! He loses in a shocking 32-seconds after Tony smacks him with his knee and knocks him loopy. Afterwards, Nese remains in the ring to celebrate and Mark Sterling taunts the crowd about how great Nese is. Nese attacks Danhausen again, after the bell has rung. He’s actually about to do it a third time when Hook’s music starts. He comes out with murder face on, gets in the ring, and drives Nese and Sterling back up to the tunnels. Danhausen, after struggling to his feet, offers his hand again. This time, Hook shakes it. Partnership time!

After this handshake happens, Hookhausen has a bit on the after-show (which is only for people watching in the audience). Hook comes out to fight CM Punk, who ends up skipping out of the ring and starting back up the ramp to avoid him. Danhausen emerges and drives Punk back into the ring, where he gets down on his knees to plead with Hook not to murder him. Hook shakes his hand…and then chokes him out. Danhausen is happy. Hookhausen leaves Punk in the ring and exit together. (After-shows aren’t “canon,” but it’s sure as hell fun to watch.)

Hookhausen challenges Nese and Sterling to a tag match, which gets scheduled as the buy-in for AEW’s big PPV show in Las Vegas. They even get a training montage video leading up to the show, and a ride with RJ City on “The Road to Double or Nothing.” The tag match sees them victorious, after Danhausen gets a little thrown around and Hook suplexes them into oblivion. Hook tags Danhausen back in for the pin, because love is real. Then they hold their hands up as winners. This is important, because Hook never lets the ref hold his hand up after matches, and it’s the first time anyone ever has.

Afterwards, Hookhausen give an interview where Danhausen says they will eat chips to celebrate after taking their winnings, and Hook looks at Danhausen like he hung the moon, offering one of his only canon smiles.

They also buy “PT Cruisers” for an interview spot and drive them around the parking lot. They appear to be the best of friends now! Doing silly shit together! But then…

Hook gets challenged in June. He’s offering another not-interview when Danhausen shows up and talks about how they will “eviscerate” enemies together. Hook puts his hand out on Danhausen’s chest and says, “I got this,” and walks off. This, unfortunately, is the last official canon on-screen appearance they will have together in 2022. It’s very strange. And quite heart-breaking. AEW continues to milk the Hookhausen train, though, by throwing a graphic of them together in a canoe on the “Quake in the Lake” promotional poster. The graphic designer had a great day with that one.

After they separate, Danhausen challenges Hook's fellow Team Taz member Ricky Starks for the FTW Champion Belt he holds. He loses, but right after he does, Ricky opens up a general challenge for anyone who wants it. Hook comes out, much to Ricky’s chagrin, and wins. He's the current FTW Belt holder now. (The belt, originally, was introduced by his dad Taz!) Following this, Team Taz officially disbands, which means he also doesn't have a stable. During all of this, Danhausen has been orbiting around a stable called the Best Friends. He's never officially become one of them, but he goes out with them during matches and is an assumed staple with them.

In the fall, Danhausen begins a series of in-canon and social media work in which he gets hit multiple times in the head; eventually, this triggers a different version of himself that fandom refers to usually as "Evilhausen." Evilhausen comes out in November during a 5-man tag match with the Best Friends and Rocky Romero versus the Factory.

We then never see Evilhausen again, but the strange tweets and lyric drops continue on social media. This likely will still be important. Danhausen does a ton of character work on social media. It is also worth noting that in late October, Danhausen abruptly stops talking about Hook and Hookhausen altogether, everywhere. There are months of silence.

In December, Hook begins a somewhat confusing partnership with another wrestler called "Jungle Boy" Jack Perry. The entire storyline they have closely parallels a lot of the original Hookhausen story, complete with a handshake. During this, Danhausen begins mentioning Hook and Hookhausen again in various non-canon sources. The tag team, coined as JungleHook, culminates supposedly in a "one night only" match against a stable known as the Firm. JungleHook wins. However, the Firm is still targeting Jungle Boy for some reason. They challenge Jungle Boy to a one-on-one after the tag match.

A few hours before the match, Danhausen finally tweets about the entire situation…like a jealous ex.

And during the match, Hook comes out when Jungle Boy is nearly done for, surprising the Firm enough that Jungle Boy is able to win. They are then challenged to another tag match, which they accept. Danhausen begins posting angry break up songs on social media.

And that's where we are at present!! For a full video masterlist, including all the fun bits that they’ve done in Danhausen’s vlogs, please see the video primer! We would love to have new people equally pumped about seeing their FAR TOO SHORT STORY finally continue, because they sure as hell ain’t done with each other. (We have a 9 page document to prove it.)

[creat0r-cat]

Markiplier x Teen!Daughter!Anxious!Reader - Take Your Time

Requested by: daygobyinheryeyes

------------------

(Mark’s POV)

I laughed with my friends as we finished up a collaboration video of Prop Hunt. “I can’t believe you didn’t see me!” Seán playfully yelled at Wade as he groaned in frustration. The Irishman had been disguised as a coaster and had hidden himself behind a door, making him virtually invisible even with the automated taunts the game provided. Bob was howling with laughter as he too had failed to spot him even when he was in the same room.

I cut my video off and logged off the game, staying in the discord video call as I did so. “Ahhh guys, that was so much fun.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair. The others began chatting amongst themselves about the different rounds and I looked back as there was a knock at the door and it began to open, revealing a teenage girl, carrying a plate of food. The moment she realized I was on a video call, she slightly closed the door and waited for a signal.

“It’s okay, I’m not recording.” I told her and in a small, shaky voice she replied. “I made s-some lunch and you didn’t come down a-and then it got late so I made some more for you. S-sorry for interrupting your conversation.” 

“Oh, thank you! I didn’t even realize the time.” I said, walking over and taking the delivery as she presented it. She never entered my room when I was on call as she was rather camera shy, but that didn’t really bother me. I gave her a partial hug and then, telling her I’d be downstairs soon, I walked back over to my desk and once again put on my headphones. “Who was that?” Asked Wade, who had apparently witnessed the interaction. 

“Oh, that was (Y/n).” I said, looking up at the screen from where I was about to take a bite of food. “Who?” asked Bob and Seán, and then it was my turn to be confused. “I swear I told you guys about her. Did I seriously forget?” 

“Yes! Who is she?” The three said and I placed a hand over my face, feeling stupid. “I really thought I told you guys. So.. um.. She’s kind of my adopted daughter.” 

“No way!” Exclaimed Seán in shock. “You’re seriously a dad now?” I laughed softly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah. I didn’t post about it on social media because I wasn’t even sure at first if I was going to find the right kid. I guess I just forgot about it after I adopted her.” 

“You could’ve at least texted us about it.” Commented Bob who crossed his arms as I took a bite of food. “This is a pretty big deal, Mark. Does Amy know?” 

“I was going to!” I said after swallowing. “I just forgot, and yes, Amy does know. I asked her how she felt about the idea before I went through with it.” Just then, someone new entered the chat. “Hey guys!” I recognized that higher pitched voice as I ate some more of my meal. “Hi Ethan!” Said Wade with a smile. “Did you know that Mark has a kid?” 

“WHAT??” The younger male exclaimed which nearly burst my eardrums. “Mark, you never told me this! I thought we were friends!” He cried and I rolled my eyes dramatically. “Oh my gosh, you guys! I made one mistake and now my butt is being handed to me on a silver platter. What’s next, Tyler is gonna hop on and give me crap too?” And just like that, as if he had heard me, Tyler joined the group chat.

“Wow, is there a party going on here?” he said with a chuckle and before I could say anything, Ethan blurted out a loud, “MARK IS A DAD!” I watched Tyler’s face, which had just appeared in video form, contort into one of absolute shock. “I’m sorry, WHAT?!” I took another bite of food, letting out an exhale of frustration at how much the situation climaxed. “Why wasn’t I informed of this?” He demanded and Seán yelled out, “That’s what we’ve been saying!” 

“You know, instead of giving me all this backlash about an honest mistake, I could just tell you what happened.” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin and putting my dishes to the side. “I’ve got time.” Said Bob, checking his watch. “I’ve got nothing planned for the rest of the day.” Joined Seán, leaning forward in his chair and staring at the camera expectantly, like a little child waiting impatiently for a cookie. Wade, Tyler, and Ethan also agreed and I sighed again, getting more comfortable in my chair. 

“Fine. You want to hear the story, then I’ll tell the story.” 

(Flashback: Mark’s POV)

I had been thinking about adopting a child for quite a while. For what reason, I don’t really know. All I knew is that I wanted to have a kid. I already ran the idea by Amy and she also thought it was a good idea. I decided to look for either a boy or a girl, but not one too young that I’d have to take care of them 24/7. I didn’t feel ready for that kind of job, and honestly, I still don’t feel that way now. 

I started looking around the area for orphanages that had open houses soon. I came across a few and did end up going to some of them. Unfortunately, I was rather disappointed by a lot of people I met. Don’t get me wrong, they were somewhat nice kids, but for one reason or another they weren’t what I was looking for.

I got to this one place, the “Los Angeles Sunnyside Orphanage”, and when I entered I could tell it might produce good results. Yes, there were some parts that could use some fixing up, but it seemed a lot friendlier than some of the other orphanages I had visited. So, naturally, I felt pretty good about my chances there.

When I walked around, there were a lot of kids running around and playing. I wasn’t sure who exactly to try and meet so I went to the orphanage director and started some interviews with the older kids. I think the age range I covered was twelve to sixteen, but I still wasn’t sure about any of them. At that point, my mind was starting to tell me I was being picky and that any of the kids would do just fine, but then I saw this girl on the other side of the room. 

She was drawing, seeming to be focused on the picture rather than the other children. I knew I hadn’t spoken with her yet, because I didn’t recognize her, so I turned to the orphanage director curiously and pointed at the girl in question. “Who is she? Why isn’t she playing with the others?” “Her?” The director responded, adjusting his glasses and peering at the girl. “Ah, that’s (Y/n). She doesn’t really get along with the other children.” I frowned, “Is she a bad kid?”

“No, she’s just incredibly shy and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has social anxiety. Not that I’m trying to give her a diagnosis, it’s just my uneducated opinion.”

“How old is she?” I asked and the director hummed softly, scratching his head as he thought. “I believe she’s 14 years old.” She was within my age range so I decided to at least give her a chance. “Would I be able to get an interview with her?”

The director nodded and signaled for me to stay where I was while he got her. I watched as he got (Y/n)’s attention and gently told her that I wanted to meet her. She looked over at me and her eyes seemed to widen. As the two of them walked over to me, I noticed that she was shaking, looking down at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with me. The two of us were escorted into a much quieter room to talk and I smiled kindly at her when she sat down across from me. 

“Hi there, (Y/n). How are you today?” She looked so nervous as she quietly murmured, “I’m alright. How are you?” This was progress. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking.” She nodded, looking up at me for a second before once again lowering her gaze. “I don’t bite, I promise.” I joked and a ghost of a smile formed on her lips. 

Looking down, there were some papers on the table between us that were filled with questions. (Y/n)’s hand twitched a bit, looking like she was going to reach for them but was also hesitating. “Do you need to ask me anything?” I queried and she nodded, finally taking the papers. “S-sorry. I promise that I’ve done this before, but.. I’m just nervous.” she said softly and I nodded in understanding. “Hey, take your time. It’s okay to be nervous. You don’t know me and we’re stuck in a room together. I’d be nervous too if I were in your position.” She let out a small chuckle which made me smile.

“What’s your name?” She read, and I answered. “Mark Fischbach.” She paused for a second, seemingly thinking about something before continuing. “W-what do you do for a living and do you enjoy your job?” 

“As silly as it sounds, I make videos on YouTube for people to watch. It’s my dream job and I love it a lot.” (Y/n) looked over at me, her eyes shining with an excitement I hadn’t seen before. “I don’t think that’s silly at all.” She said, “Honestly, it sounds like fun.” I smiled at her, “It is, for the most part.” She shifted in her seat before continuing the interview. The longer the two of us spent time together, even just lightly chatting, the more comfortable she seemed to be. We got along, and while she did pause sometimes to take a breath and calm down her nerves, I wasn’t bothered by her at all. When all the questions were finished, I waved goodbye and met with the director again. I told him that I was going to keep looking, but that I might come back. 

I knew that (Y/n) and I got along well, once she got to know me a bit more, but I wasn’t quite sure if she was what I was looking for. I never really stopped thinking about her though, and after a few more days I decided that I was going to adopt her. I came back, told the director my plan, and he set me up for a house inspection the next day. After I was cleared, I brought the paperwork in, made the payment, and waited for her to come down with her stuff.

I saw that she was nervous when she brought down her bag, but she calmed down a little bit when she saw me. “Ready to go home?” She nodded and when the two of us left, I honestly felt pretty good about my decision. The drive back to my house was kinda awkward, but I guess that was to be expected. 

When we arrived, I introduced her to Chica and got her settled into her new room. We spent that night learning a bit more about each other, and the next few days had similar themes. It was difficult, getting used to someone new in my house, but it was okay. 

I taught her how to play some different video games and was really surprised at how quickly she was able to pick some of them up. She was still a tad bit nervous when it came to getting really close to me, but by the end of the first month, she was smiling almost all the time and had little to no issues with physical contact.

After I introduced her to Amy, and found out that the two of them had actually begun to bond rather quickly, everything seemed like it was falling perfectly into place until something happened.

I was laughing with (Y/n) about my newest playthrough of a really hard game. I had lost my mind over it and when I said, “It’s the ragiest game I’ve ever played and I’m never going back to it!” She responded with “I thought ‘I Am Bread’ was the ragiest game you’ve ever played.” I froze and the room went silent. Looking over at (Y/n)’s face, she had turned pale white.

“How did you know that I’ve played that game? I never gave you the name of my channel so you shouldn’t know that.. unless you started watching or already knew.” She began to fidget and she looked down in what looked like shame. “I-I’m sorry. I should’ve told you by now, but I was scared about how you’d react.”

“Tell me what? I’m not upset that you’ve seen my videos, but why would you hide it?”

“Because I already knew who you were before we met. I.. I didn’t want to tell you during the interview because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or scare you off. You were so nice and I didn’t think you’d want a kid who was a fan.” 

I stayed silent as she continued. “I promise that I’m not one of those over-the-top and crazy fangirls. Yes, I was happy and shocked to see you, but that’s because I never expected this to happen. I mean, you’re Markiplier. I don’t think anyone would be expecting you to suddenly adopt a kid, least of all an anxious and socially awkward girl like me. Honestly, it sounds like something out of a fanfiction rather than something that would happen in real life, but that’s exactly what happened. I’m really, really sorry, Mark.”

I smiled softly and walked over to her, giving her a gentle hug. “I know that you aren’t like those fangirls. You’ve definitely shown that during your time here. And while I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me about this, I can understand why you hid it. I probably would’ve done the same if I was in your position. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. If anything, this means I can joke about a lot more stuff because you might understand them. Just promise me that you won’t hide stuff like this from me anymore, alright kiddo?” 

Her eyes welled with tears and she hugged me back. “I promise.” When we both let go, I laughed softly, wiping away some tears that had started falling down my cheeks. “Whoo! Alright, that’s enough sentimental stuff for one day. Do you want to order pizza and have a movie night?” 

“That sounds like fun!” She said, giggling as she also wiped away some tears on her own face. “Thanks for not hating me after I told you the truth. I love you, Dad.” My eyes widened in shock as the name she gave me finally registered. “Gosh dang it, (Y/n)! You’re gonna make me cry again!” She laughed and gave me another hug before running off to the living room.

That was the first time she ever called me Dad. 

(End of flashback)

“She kept her promise too. She and I have gotten so close that you’d swear she’s a mini female version of me.” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Wow..” said Wade after the others remained in silence. “She sounds like so much fun to be around!” added Seán with a smile and Ethan nodded. “Could we meet her?” 

I hummed softly and thought about it. “As much as I’d like that, she’s really shy around new people. I’m not sure how she’ll be with you guys. Then again, she knows who you all are and she got comfortable around Amy soon after they met, so maybe it won’t be too bad. I’ll run the idea by her.” 

I looked toward the clock and my eyes widened. “Oh shoot! It’s almost been half an hour since we finished the video!” The others looked at their own clocks in surprise. “Oh dang. Time flies during story time, huh?” Laughed Wade and we all agreed in amusement. “I’d better get going. I’ll text you guys about her answer, I promise.” 

“You’d better remember this time!” Joked Seán as he waved at the camera. I logged off of discord, stretched, and walked downstairs with my dishes. “Sorry I took so long. The guys wanted to talk.” (Y/n) was on her phone in the dining room and she looked up and smiled at me. “It’s okay! You sounded like you had fun.” I nodded, sitting down in a chair next to her. “So, uhm. I have a question for you.”

She watched me expectantly and I took a deep breath before continuing. “So, the others want to meet you.” As I said that, her eyes widened and she visibly tensed. “I know that meeting people isn’t your forte, but I really think you’ll like them.” After a few seconds of silence, she responded. “W-who all are you talking about?” 

“Bob, Wade, Tyler, Ethan, and Seán. They want to meet you. I mean, you are part of the family now, so I’m not really surprised.” (Y/n) looked away, seeming to be in thought. “I’m a little shocked that you’re only telling me this now.” It was my turn to look away as my cheeks heated up in embarrassment. “I.. may or may not have forgotten to tell them back when we finalized the adoption.” 

(Y/n) began to laugh. “Of course you did.” I feigned feeling hurt, gasping at her dramatically. “You say that like I forget stuff all the time! Are you insinuating that I, THE Markiplier, am getting too old and thus forgetting things often?”

“I mean, you said it, not me. So..” I rolled my eyes and joined in her laughter. After the amusement died down, there was a moment of silence before (Y/n) said softly, “I know how much you want to see them. If they’re somewhat as nice in person as they are online, then I don’t think it would be much of a problem to meet them. I’d just need to hype myself up a bit, I guess.” 

I smiled happily and walked over, giving her a hug. “I promise, they’re not bad people. You’ll love them. You don’t have to agree to this if you don’t want to. Please understand that.”

“I.. I know. I’m choosing to say yes, Dad. It’ll be fine.” With that final confirmation, I nodded. “Alright, I’ll tell them that they can visit. Maybe in a week or so?” (Y/n) nodded and I stood up, walking to the living room. “Don’t forget to text them, old man Mark!” She called after me and I spun around dramatically, almost falling over in the process.

(Time Skip: No one’s POV)

Mark and (Y/n) walked into a store together, (Y/n) staying relatively close to her dad and the shopping cart. They walked around, picking out items that they needed, and some that they decided to try for fun or put away for when the others came to visit. Some parents that came to the store couldn’t help but smile when they saw how close the two seemed to be and how they would laugh with each other at the weirdest things.

(Y/n) noticed something on the shelf that they needed and went ahead to grab it, but when she turned around, Mark was nowhere to be seen. She looked around in confusion and then felt her breathing quicken and her hands begin to shake. She went back the way that she came from but she still couldn’t see him. Looking into the next aisle produced the same results.

Thoughts began to swim through her mind, overwhelming her senses. “Where did he go? Did he leave me behind? Did he not want me anymore? Why did he suddenly disappear? Did something happen to him?” She put the item on the shelf behind her before she could drop it and tears began to fill her eyes. 

Feeling sick, (Y/n) sat down on the floor, her foot tapping against the ground as she curled in on herself, trying to control her breathing. She was scared, not knowing what to do. She tried to make herself stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’, but to no avail. She heard a soft voice, but didn’t look up at who it was until a familiar hand with a gentle touch was placed on her shoulder. With that, (Y/n) finally looked up.

“M-Mark?” 

“Are you okay? You’re shaking like a leaf.” 

She quickly embraced him, feeling herself calm down as his arms wrapped around her. He was here. He was real. His deep voice soothed her fears as he murmured words of comfort. “It’s okay. I’m here. Sorry I left you behind. I thought you were right behind me when I forgot to grab something from the other aisle and went back for it. Guess I should pay more attention huh?” (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to talk but just clung to him.

Mark didn’t question her as he continued to hug her. He knew she was crying, but she made no noise and he hoped she didn’t get hurt, feeling awful that she was upset in the first place. But in all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure why she was so distressed over him not being there all of a sudden. “It’s okay.” He murmured softly, rocking her back and forth. “I’m not leaving you behind. I love you too much to do that.” 

After a few minutes she calmed down enough to where they moved on to the checkout and left the store. Nobody had seen (Y/n)’s breakdown, and that was fine with the two of them. It had been a private moment. The car was filled with silence on the way home and Mark constantly looked in the rearview mirror to check if his daughter was okay. The poor girl looked exhausted. 

After coming home and quickly putting away the groceries, Mark sat down with (Y/n), making sure that she wasn’t still in any part of her panic attack. He wrapped her up in a blanket, once again and gave her a big hug. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better.. I’m sorry for what happened, Dad.” Mark shook his head. “There’s no reason to be sorry. You were frightened. I do have to ask though, why were you afraid? I was only gone for less than a minute and I was pretty sure you could’ve seen me in the previous aisle.” (Y/n) went silent before softly murmuring, “I.. don’t think I’m ready to talk about it. Also, I did look in both the last and next aisles. I couldn’t see you. I think you were hidden by something.”

“Okay then. Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me, and, come to think of it, there was a large pile of boxes over there so maybe that’s why you couldn’t see me. Sorry about that.” 

“Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. You were just grabbing groceries.” 

Mark hugged her again, the two of them laughing as she returned the gesture, sighing with contentment in his arms. 

(Time skip)

The day for the guests’ arrival finally came and (Y/n) had basically locked herself up in her room. Chica was in there with her, laying still beside the girl and receiving distracted pets. “I don’t know what to do.” The teenager said, looking at the loyal dog. “I know they’re nice people. Mark told me so, and they act relatively nice in their videos. I just.. I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable around them. I don’t want to let dad down, or make the others sad by not being around them. What do I do, Chica Beeka?” 

The golden retriever in question just looked up at her and wagged her tail. (Y/n) couldn’t help but smile, giving her a head scratch. “Not much help there, buddy, but thanks for listening.” Just then, there was a knock at the door. Chica jumped up and pawed at the bedroom door. (Y/n) took a deep breath and let her out, following the dog down the stairs.

They were here.

Mark was at the door, happily greeting his friends as Chica ran around, barking in excitement. (Y/n) stood back in the entrance to the living room, not daring to get close to the group, but instead just watched them interact with her father. She knew who these men were. Seán, Bob, Wade, Tyler, and Ethan were some of Mark’s closest friends who she had seen on videos before, as well as heard Mark talking to them over video call or the phone. This fact, however, didn’t excuse the fact that she was nervous. Seán was the first to notice her and smiled, coming closer to her as she took a few steps back. “Aww hello there!” He said with a wide grin. “You must be (Y/n). Mark’s told us a lot about you.” She could barely form words as the others also looked in her direction. “I.. umm.. Hi..?” She backed up once more as Ethan approached her. “Don’t be shy, we’re not gonna hurt you.” Mark noticed her distress and asked that they back off a bit. He watched her visibly relax when her personal space was restored. Bob and Wade looked at each other, deciding to speak to her gently while staying where they were. “It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/n).” spoke the larger of the two, waving at her kindly. The gesture was returned.

Mark got closer to her and the others watched as she stood her ground and he put an arm around her. “Sorry, I did tell you guys she might not be too comfortable at first.” Tyler nodded in understanding. “I get that. Better safe than sorry, am I right?” (Y/n) nodded and hid a little bit behind Mark.

Ethan smiled at her, seeming to have an understanding of the situation. “You don’t need to worry about us.” He said gently. “I know we’re all big and loud and scary, but I promise we aren’t bad people.” Chica made her way over to the girl who gave her some head pats. “I.. I know you guys aren’t bad. If you were, then dad probably wouldn’t be friends with you. I’m.. just not used to you yet.” Mark gave her a side hug with a smile. “It’ll take some time, but we’ll get there. It’s just like we always do. We’ll take things slowly.” 

Over the next few days, (Y/n) gained exposure to the others. They were respectful of her personal space and they were all pleasantly surprised at how similar she was to them. Sure, they had heard of some stuff from Mark, but actually witnessing it was something different. 

Tyler was the first one to really bond with her. His calm and gentle nature made her comfortable so it wasn’t entirely surprising that he would be the one to start them off. He and (Y/n) found a shared interest in some sports and they held some nice conversations about them. 

Next came Bob, followed closely by Wade. They started playing some video games together and while at first she didn’t say much, when she got a bit more comfortable and started talking, the two men were rather pleased to hear her use Mark’s sense of humor. It made the games much less tense and a lot more enjoyable. 

Ethan was second to last. He was very energetic and seemed to have the mind of an 8th grader, so he and (Y/n) bonded over memes. He showed her some of his favorites when the two of them were bored in the living room and she shared some of hers. Their somewhat immature humor made it a very fun event, especially when it came to meme videos and clips they could find on random discord servers.

Seán, much to his disappointment, was the last one. Maybe it was because he was so outgoing, or perhaps it was because she was busy with the others. Either way, he didn’t really know how to connect with her. Yes, they both liked video games and other such things, but he didn’t really know how to approach her. 

That changed when he was out on the porch, petting Chica. He heard the sliding glass door open and a pair of hesitant footsteps come near. “M-may I.. sit with you?” He looked over to discover that it was (Y/n). He nodded and she sat on the opposite side of Chica, giving her a head scratch.

There was a peaceful silence between the two of them for quite some time before Seán spoke up. “I’m sorry, but I have no idea how to talk to you.” The girl laughed softly, “You and me both.” Chica let out a yawn, stretching slightly before (Y/n) continued. “I.. I haven’t really given you a chance before now. I’ve been so.. Nervous.”

“Why?” The teen shrugged. “I guess I’m just getting used to having so many people here that I don’t really know and you’re, like, my second favorite YouTuber so.. yeah, anxiety overload.” Seán looked at her in surprise. “You watch my videos?” She nodded. “Yup. I’ve watched at least one video from all of you, but I mainly see or hear you during collabs with dad.” 

The Irishman smiled. “I’m pretty sure that’s how most people find our channels at this point.” (Y/n) laughed softly. “Pretty much, but give yourself some credit. You guys make great videos by yourself, no Markiplier included.” Seán blushed slightly from the praise. “Well, thank you. That’s high praise coming from his daughter.”

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Oh please. I was a fan of you guys before I was his daughter.” With the awkward barrier finally broken, they were finally able to talk to each other, all while petting a very happy Chica. 

Things would take time to get used to, and no, having those five at the house wasn’t permanent, but slowly, (Y/n) was finally able to get somewhat comfortable with them before they had to leave. Mark was very happy. This had turned out better than expected, and he knew it would be a lot more fun when it came to any future visits.

No, (Y/n) didn’t engage in much if any physical touch with them, but that was to be expected, and that was alright. It would take time to achieve that kind of bond with her, as it had for Mark and Amy. But there was no issue with taking it slow.

No issues at all..

[transhawks]

I've been wondering about this for some time now, but how did Dabi figure out who Hawks' mother was? I'll admit i don't remember the details of the manga very well, but when i watched the new season that came out, it seemed to me the plan Re-Destro came up with to plant spies into the Comission failed after the HPSC lured him out and he killed its president. Is that explained in the manga at all? Or perhaps i misunderstood it?🤔🤔🤔

Please take this with a grain of salt. I have a feeling we'll be actually told why eventually, because Hawks remarks on it manga-wise.

For now, here's my best guess:

Dabi was obsessed with his own father. I have no doubt that he was incredibly obsessed with watching his father's fights and likely did so after his death, though this would have been when he was still young, likely when Natsuo was a very young baby.

It seems that the Thief Takami fight was like...memorable somehow. And given he was a murderer, not just a thief, it's clear that Keigo's dad had notoriety.

I think Dabi might have recognized the red feathers as similar to the feathers on Takami's arms and just decided to go on a hunch because Hawks's lack of biographical info is weird, actually. The thing about investigation and any avenue of trying to gather info about a person's motives, it's important to leave no unturned stones.

Anyway, so, when you have a hunch, you look into it, right?

Let's be a bit clear on some stuff:

Thief Takami was a two-man team. Tomie was clearly helping him in certain ways. It's implied that he relies on her for finding jobs and this might be linked to her quirk. There's other strange wording around that whole chapter that make me suspect she had absolutely fascinating propensity for tracking people.

We're also not sure what he did prior to having to hide with her. Perhaps he had a team, etc. Dude wasn't like a one off criminal, clearly, and that means he had connections.

So, uh, what does this mean? Well, let's think about it this way: Dabi has a lot of reach now. Giran, the many PLF members, etc. Imagine he starts asking about Thief Takami, seeing if Giran has any contacts who knew the man prior to his arrest and maybe even after, in jail. Maybe Takami mentioned in trial documents or something that he had help though never elaborated, etc.

There's just a lot of possibilities and areas where someone might have found out he had a criminal partner and possibly a first name.

The thing is, and the HPSC were kind of dumb for this, it doesn't seem like they changed her first name. There are quirk databases. I doubt the tech skills of the PLF wouldn't able to get into one of these. Then you look for anyone who matches - eye quirk, surveilence, age range, etc. Of course if you have a name, you put it in even if it seems it's a long shot that she'd still be using it.

(she was)

My view is the HPSC simply didn't cover their tracks well-enough when it came to Keigo's background. Likely it was just a bit less important than the other shit they do cover up. Tomie's quirk was in a quirk database, her first name likely the same, if you knew what you were looking for, cross enough names in your list to check them out. It's possible she wasn't the only woman approached by Dabi and Dabi's people, by the way, but he eventually found her.

Until we get confirmation otherwise, that's been what I think might be the most understandable explanation. When you are able to have a wide reference point of info and willing to dig deeper, you can find out a lot. I'm fairly good at social media stalking stuff myself through this sort of method myself.

[imjustabeanie]

Matchup trade with @karusenka

Your Hazbin hotel match is....Lucifer!

Now even with your no no character I would’ve chosen Lucifer. You two are made for each other! You both need a fun partner with whom you can be yourself and won’t stress you out. Plus you’re both short (jk. He’s short compared to other demons but probably tall compared to humans lol. But you my friend are short).

You two met at the hotel, you were a friend of Charlie and somehow clicked with her dad. While the romantic tension appeared pretty early between you two, there was a lot of pinning. Lucifer never really got over Lilith and is pretty bad at social interactions to be honest. He probably lost hope in love and is just focused on helping his daughter. Said daughter is actually the one who encouraged him to go back to dating seeing how lonely he is. Lucifer may be prideful (he’s pride duh) but he sent a duck to ask you out. Yes a rubber duck somehow spelled will you be my lover and when you accepted you heard a loud ‘yes! (take that depression!’ in the hallway.

One of the reasons Lucifer liked you is actually your humor to be honest. Hey it may be childish to some but he’s a history old fallen angel making rubber ducks in his room. He literally can’t judge you. Especially when he himself chimes in with jokes of his own. They’re mostly bad puns and bad jokes which makes everyone groan and made Charlie question why she let the two of you meet. Don’t get me started on his corny pick up lines! You two are a funny couple who prank people and just live life as it is. He tries to appear serious but fails spectacularly when he’s with you. He just feels comfortable enough to be himself. Away from the judgmental stares and calculating glares. Only moment where he’ll get serious is when someone somehow attacks you. He won’t hold back at all. Scary dog privileges lol.

Just like you, Lucifer gets annoyed when his kindness and actions aren’t recognized. Which is normal, if you go out of your way to help out someone the least they can do is thank you. You two always notice each other actions and it’s nice because none feels ignored. He feels valued, like he can lift mountains without breaking a sweat (which he probably can honestly) when you acknowledge him. It’s because he shares his love in acts of service, words and some gift giving. He does his best to make your stay as comfortable as he can and literally treats you like a queen. He acknowledge your feelings and validates them. You don’t have to feel so guilty for being yourself. You’re in the right and some pride is good for you. Don’t let yourself be dragged to the mud. He probably shows off the things you do for him to be honest. Lucifer finds your sensitive soul to be endearing. He’s probably sensible too but had to harden himself to stay where he is. That’s why he cheriches it, you’ll notice by the hearts in his eye and the tight hug he gives you. He teaches you to put yourself first more often and turn a blind eye to what people say no matter how hard it is (if they say something mean….well good luck). Only thing that makes him worry is your clumsiness. He’s at this from babyproofing some rooms.

Lucifer also enjoys horror and probably introduces you to different horrors through time if you catch my drift. He’ll have some very good book recommendations and will help you meet the authors if they’re in hell. It always surprised people that you’re such a fan of horror despite your love for cute things. Your dates with Lucifer are often movie dates, shopping or just lazing around at home talking and rambling together. I see him being good at sketching and likes to do all those couple stuff you see on media like switching the canva every 5 minutes etc. He likes all those couple stuff. Also don’t worry for cooking, he has private chefs….I believe he shouldn’t be let a foot near a kitchen.

[b4n3n4]

Gone Girl

"When I think of my wife, I always think of her head. […] And what’s inside it. I think of that too: her mind. Her brain, all those coils, and her thoughts shuttling through those coils like fast, frantic centipedes. Like a child, I picture opening her skull, unspooling her brain and sifting through it, trying to catch and pin down her thoughts. What are you thinking, Amy? The question I’ve asked most often during our marriage, if not out loud, if not to the person who could answer. I suppose these questions stormcloud over every marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? Who are you? What have we done to each other? What will we do?"

1. Roleplaying ♡

Since meeting her future husband, Nick, Amy knew what she had to do, portray herself as, a "cool girl,” a fake persona used in social events, slightly changing and adapting depending on the situation. Breaking that illusion slowly, changing to a more authentic Amy as Nick started to become lazy on his own, the marriage collapses day by day until she snaps and executes the crucial part of her plan, running away.

After running away, Amy modifies her illusion again to that of a weak innocent white woman who was kidnapped while pregnant. On the other hand her husband, Nick, also portrays himself as someone different, the perfect husband, this was achieved and perfected by Amy since they meet, his illusion was slowly broken until the point of no return (Amy finding out about the cheating with Andie), after Amy is reported missing Nick is suspected as Amy's killer due to his lies being exposed, he finds himself shape-shifting back to the "perfect husband" for his own sake.

2. Following the steps ♡

Nick mirrors the image of his dad, growing up with the fear of showing emotion or any kind of "feminine" characteristics, showing himself as self-centered and uncaring, constantly reminding himself of his father's words "Men don't cry" his daddy issues also make him a chronic people pleaser. Here comes into play the Madone-Whore complex we see in Nick: women are either saints with every virtue and a pure soul or prostitutes; it is the complete lack of empathy for the female gender, regarding women as objects of admiration or utter disgust, stripping them away from their complexity and humanity.

During the search for Amy Nick realizes how much his upbringing impacted his life, stating "I needed a child. I had to know that I could love a person unconditionally […] That I could be a different kind of father than my dad was. That I could raise a boy who wasn't like me". He understands that he has been behaving subconsciously like his father and ends up giving up his freedom(staying with Amy) to protect and raise his baby(unlike his father). On the other hand, Amy's parents marriage mirrors her own, a mask marrying a mask, their marriage was all built around the image of perfection for outsiders, having the same standards applied to Amy since her birth, her whole childhood being compared to the ideal version of herself(Amazing Amy)and the fear of not meeting those expectations "I can't fail to notice that whenever I screw something up, Amy does it right.”

3. Estrangement ♡

The big move from NYC to North Carthage had a deep impact on Amy, growing in the fast-paced, crowded, and cosmopolitan Big Apple. Amy's whole life shifts mood when they move back to Nick's hometown, marked by economic devastation and recession. Amy feels left out, like she does not belong there, reminding herself of the cuckoo clock she was gifted, something bustling with life and noise that belonged back in NYC that now feels trapped in their new home's quiet and depressing ambiance. This change in the environment also marks a shift in the tone of their marriage, with Nick becoming lazy, depending on Amy, as he used to depend on his mom as a kid, and Amy getting so fed up that her illusion starts to crack.

4. Unreliable narration ♡

The whole novel explores this idea of media sensationalism: everyone is an unreliable narrator, in the story and out of the story, even what is told to us. While characters often lie to each other throughout the novel we also get lied to, Amy's diary is a perfect example that fiction is not only written in Amazing Amy's books but also what information is given to us about what is going on, both Amy and Nick present their story in an untruthful way, This narrative technique not only adds suspense but also highlights how easily perceptions can be manipulated in relationships.

The media in the novel also does this; while Nick is not the culprit of Amy's disappearance, the whole country is led to believe so, media warps and shifts the focus of some aspects to press their point. Like Punch and Judy, the story is played by everyone like a puppet show; everyone is a mask on stage, portraying a certain role. Our life is a show, and the book is very much aware of this, making a satire of itself and media awareness.

5. Masks ♡

As stated before, everyone focuses on illusions and what the outside thinks. As Nick is portraying himself as the perfect husband again so the media believes his innocence, Amy sees a glimpse of the old illusion in him and regains faith in the relationship, don't get this wrong, she doesn't believe he changed his ways, all that matters to her is the illusion she is trying to portray, the perfect married couple

6. Cool Girl ♡

Like Amy describes it:

"Cool girl. Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment. She’s a Cool girl. Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrin-loving manner and then presents her mouth for fucking."

Amy knows that she plays a role, changing herself for others, having no actual sense of self (which is ironic since she writes personality quizzes for a living), shape-shifting, and dumbing herself to fit the role until she can no longer do it. The breaking of the cool girl is the unleashing of female rage; the unfairness of having to maintain a fake persona in a new place where she feels lost, while her husband broke his fake persona long ago, cheating and disregarding all of her emotions; and the gender roles that pressure women into being hollow objects in fear of complete disregard for their humanity, unable to speak her mind, and forced to accept the sheep mentality as their gender is only viewed as worthy when it is seen as pure.

Amy has become a small icon in the subculture of femcels, focusing on a deep dislike of males and the gender roles pressured in society. She reversed the predator/prey dynamics to benefit herself, using her white female status to seem innocent after committing such crimes.

Although her actions have caused deep pain to some unfortunate innocent characters like Go, her unborn baby, and even Desi, we have to take a look at the overall story as a sort of manifesto and not so literal. Amy represents the perfect female power fantasy to many readers or viewers of Gone Girl, being able to snap and take revenge when we cannot.

i might be insane

[chussyracing]

give the opinions please I'm bored at work

getting myself cancelled? why not. i'm on mobile (and it's too late to make coherent sentences) but i'll try to put it all under the cut

in the order anon sent them:

Sebchal - one of the less bad ones but honestly? so much about it was idolised and cliche-ed out of proportions over the years. Seb was going through a lot at the time, as much everyone knew. As a 4 times champion coming to the most prestigious team, the pressure must have been enormous and he was failing the mission he set for himself. I think all of us dumb red horse team fans wanted him to win a championship with said team but it didn't look good and turned basically impossible the day Charles stepped a foot in the team. He probably had a bit of an boy crush on Seb who was still the mighty 4 times wdc and number 1 driver in his dream team. At least for some time it turned pretty sour especially on the track and ultimately every piece of content from that time (minus the infamous helmet message) falls a bit one sided and always has. Not to speak about how fan space is made up by fans first and content second and a lot of fans of sebchal just try to push the "he's like father to him" narrative that I can't help to find mildly disrespectful. I get and appreciate the fandom jokes about grid dads and grid kids and don't get me wrong, sometimes they are funny, but in this particular case it always felt like some people take it too far.

Chewie - one of the best ones honestly. I think they are friendly towards each other, Lewis hypes him like he always does with young drivers and Charles has a lot of admiration for him (and let's be real probably some jealousy too, because Lewis is the greatest driver there has ever been). So far so good but when people in the fandom get involved in shipping them I can easily imagine it as mildly problematic in the classical produced content (like fics fanart and stuff) - with age gap or stereotypes or whatever.

Piarles - I love that Charles has a bestie in the paddock that he grew up with and that he knows better than any other driver and hangs out with outside of racing too. But that's it. It was a lot sweeter back in the day and came out as more genuine. Maybe I just never paid that much attention or their different career moves changed them (and that's valid and definitely not something I should judge) but... if you follow the subtle patterns lately one side comes out as exploiting the opportunities that come out with hanging out of the other more. If you asked me years ago this might be my first go to though so to some extend I understand why people like it. What I don't understand are those who see besties hanging out together and start yelling about them being on a date or being in love or whatever. They got used to it no doubt, because one they're properly famous (which naturally comes with lots of people being weird about you) and two they're both fairly present on social media so I bet they saw things. That's on people who ship them and not on any of them personally tho. As someone who was on the receiving end of those "ur dating haha ur so in love" talks with multiple of my friends in the past, I can tell u that there's just a few things that made me so uncomfortable.

Chalex - this might honestly take the crown for the best current Charles ship? Alex knows him for a long time as well and also knows what it is like to be his team mate during the worst times (puberty lol). I can openly admit I wasn't always very fond of Alex because.... you guessed it, Red Bull. He just came out as quite arrongant (and I guess because for one you need to always be confident about yourself in this sport to continue doing it on such a high level and the moment you stop, you're out, and two of course your self esteem increases if you get a seat in a top team). I properly enjoyed him during the twitch sessions though, he always seemed (and seems currently) as the sweet happy-go-lucky person who knows how to live life fully. He's also a little tease and paired with Charles it just works somehow. Again, I just don't really enjoy when people take it too far and start speculating if it's real and what not. Alex is happily in a relationship and they're good friends who often joke with each other during driver parades.

Charge - this might be short, because there's not much to say. It's cute and I love the vibes. They give off the energy of George calling him snickerdoodle or gigglebunny or fuzzybear while Charles grows more confused and concerned each time and asks what if means to which George just thinks "goodness gracious...." and tries to patiently explain the british gibberish. Sweet, fun and niche but I don't think there's much to work with nowadays so twitch days were definitely more fruitful time for Charge shippers.

In short: I don't have any big problem with Chewie, Chalex or Charge (and if so, they're minor) but Sebchal and Piarles are not as ideal as people make them seem. But then again I don't consider myself a shipper at all, so as long as people use correct tags and don't flood charles' main tag with shipping posts I don't mind them.

[sweetswesf]

"I just need benjamins, I don't need NOOOOO friends!"...Check In

I don't really mean that. When I feel lonely, I think about that rap lyric by the masterful poet Roddy Ricch, but, I don't truly feel that way. I do need a community around me, but when I look at the friends I have lost, I toxicly just try to focus on what I have, the friends & family I have, and all God's blessed me with.

What I Did Today

Meal prepped

Exercised

Grocery shopped

FREAKIN' 2 HOURS of dishes! *face palm*

Panicked a little bit after receiving my severance payment, but reminded myself that I'm going to find something I want in a timely manner and not completely run my savings down to 0 like I worry sometime

Wished my grandmother a happy birthday

Told my father not to send me pictures of he, my grandparents, and my little brother at the casino today because it triggered me given the lack of relationship and a lot of hurt that is still there...I'm by myself for yet another year on Thanksgiving for crying out loud...

Was vulnerable about how I felt about the latest text exchanges with my pastor who gave me bad, unsolicited advice on what I SHOULD have done...immediately regretted it opening up and reminded myself to just shut up sometime and stop hoping for people to handle you and your feelings the way you want them to

Had a little cry after receiving a less than pleasant text from my Dad...it was followed by an absolutely encouraging text from a friend

Fantasized about moving out of the country...maybe back to Italy

Pushed myself to cook for myself

Pushed myself to finish an AlgoExpert video on Logarithm

What I Learned Today

I thought about what would happen if I needed to move back; my little brother has PROBABLY graduated, so I would not have a room anywhere if I moved back, and I don't know too many places right now wanting to rent to someone without a job so, I'll stay put...rent MAY go up for me soon...don't know how much...don't want to think about that right now :)

log base 2 is the assumed base in computer science, not 10 as in regular mathematics, and an algo w/O(log(n)) runtime is good because as the input increases, the amount of operations does not increase nearly at the same rate

Feeling

Spent

A little bit shameful/embarrassed

Takeaways

Going to only juice on Saturday or Sunday going forward and for as ½ as much as I usually do to save money & time

My mind wanders a lot, and when it does, and I get anxious, I go to social media for a dopamine boost

How I Got Myself Out of a Rut Today

Just reminding myself that I have so much, it could be worse, how it's going to get so much better for me, and about how strong I am going to become

Found a chili oil I can add to EVERYTHING

A super soft & cold persimmon

The following songs helped:

Fought tears listening to this one

Then let them fall for this song...this song NEVER fails to make me cry...rediscovered it on Mother's Day, and ever since, it's just been a hard song for me to get through, but it hits me where I need it to

Goals Completed

Found a therapist

Stopped listening to people worried about their own circumstances and remembering God works on his own time and that I am in no rush...

Got back on the ball

Being kinder to myself and stopping guilting myself if my energy isn't always on 100%

Goals After Today

Strengthen my relationship with God

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in 6 months, NOT less than 3

Drop my body fat percentage to Marion Jones, Michaela Cole, or Jade Cargill levels

Consistently fight urge to fill up my time with social media/YouTube

Fully forgive my family & build a great relationship with them

Be more confident & faithful

250 steps/hour & 10k steps/daily consistently

Drink more than 64oz a day consistently

Go on a date with a guy I actually like who actually likes me too

[cavewretch]

a meditation on my past three or so identity crises and vampire weekend's new album

i have been listening to vampire weekend for roughly 15 years (i am 25). i am third-generation croatian great famine irish co-opting italian americanness by way of childhood experience and ex roman catholicism. born and raised in jersey. elementary school bullies were generationally wealthy irish or italian kids. family trees of traitors, all of us. i was briefly obsessed with finding some sort of ancestral connection but i think whenever that impulse happens for white usamericans it’s misplaced. surely there’s goodness here! surely there’s shared struggle! surely one of you was a communist! but now i’m over it. whatever they’re dead i’m alive i’ll do it. my mother has dubbed me the family catalyst. the thing about being a catalyst is you have to set yourself on fire and burn away to fuel everyone else's fire.

my first encounter with vampire weekend was in 2007? 2008? (whenever they released their first self titled album). starbucks used to do this free song pick of week thing where they’d give you a card with your coffee order that let you download a song from itunes for free, and my dad got them sometimes on his way to work. we got cape cod kwassa kwassa that way, and i found it in the family library and put it on my little purple ipod shuffle. 

modern vampires of the city was released in 2013, and the first vampire weekend album i actually consciously sunk my teeth into the content of (lyrics, musicality, visuals). i think i got to it a year late, i wasn’t plugged into music release social media campaigns back then. i was 15 or 16. in 2014 i read the communist manifesto for the first time and told my teacher it sounded pretty good, and she told me it only worked on paper. i read it for a european history class which required i shove 700 years of history into my brain for an exam i then proceeded to fail. i'm “bad” at school but i built invaluable critical thinking and analysis skills from that class. and a disgust with enlightenment era philosophers. that part wasn't on my teachers list i don't think. that class had 9 people total in it, 2 of which were transfer students (and also my friends) from europe (one from belgium, one from albania). in that class i learned i was supposed to have feelings about serbia, bc of my very croatian last name, but i didn't. my family doesn't talk to each other like that, about real things. my reaction to finding out there were divisive wars in living memory involving part of my identity was to try and learn about yugoslavia on my own, not knowing that anything i got my hands on was filtered through lenses of anti communism and red scare sentiment. the yugoslav wars happened after my nono (grandfather) left, and ended when i was very very young. according to my mother though, he always had something to blame on the serbs. then it was jews. then the government. then hospitals. then my nona (grandmother). then my mother. now my dad. 

/you talk of serbians, whisper kosovar albanians/  /the boy’s romanian, third generation transylvanian/  /i see vampires walkin, don't be gripped by fear, you aren’t next/  /we’re all the sons and daughters of vampires who drained the old world’s necks/

in 2014 i went to croatia for the first (and probably last, given my finances) time and met my extended family there. on that trip i looped modern vampires of the city every day, both because i love that album and because i did not have internet access or cell service. two weeks on a farm on an island off the coast of croatia, with only my family. a teenager’s dream! i did really enjoy it though. i found it grounding to be living amongst memories of centuries before me. both architecturally, the buildings are older there than the united states (government) itself, but also in my ancestors' memories. i stayed in the house my nono grew up in, and the house that’s been in my family name for centuries. the house was built before the empire rose and still stands there today despite its inhabitants dead or emigrated. the us empire rose on the bones and blood of multiple civilizations, specifically and purposefully wiping them out and creating that cognitive dissonance i was facing for the first time as a teenager.

/in times of war the educated class knew what to do/ /the temple’s gone but still a single column stands today/ /that sinking feeling fades but never really goes away/ /a staircase up to nothingness inside your dna/ /well thats a bleak sunrise/

/i know what lies beneath manhattan/ /i know who's buried in grants tomb/

age 16, for anyone i think, is the peak of arguing with your parents. age 16 is the culmination of anger about not having agency over your own life . 16 is crying and screaming and fighting your patriarchal family, thinking if you can just explain things right you can undo generations of behavioral patterns and beliefs. 16 is for fighting your father and reading queer lit on the family shared kindle account. and diane young, evidently. 

in 2018 and 2019 i spent my summers in my professor’s studios (one in queens, the other in brooklyn) working for unpaid college credit as a studio assistant. i lost my wallet in brooklyn. i spent hours in the new york public library archives sifting through images of the city during the 70s and 80s for research. i took greyhound buses from south jersey/south philly to penn station.  i ate lunch in battery park in the rain, cried in bathroom stalls, and scrambled around mta carrying too much shit. 

/used to have a job at penn station/ (cue what sounds like the shrieking noise of a train coming in, what commuters blink at and tourists recoil from)

in 2019 father of the bride came out, about a month before i became chronically ill/disabled. i was supposed to see that tour. at the beginning of 2020, my final semester of college, i went on medical leave and moved back in with my parents (something i vowed to never do and something my therapist at the time strongly suggested i never do. life goes on.) 

2024. only god was above us. i will turn 26 in a couple months. this year my childhood dog died. i read state and revolution (lenin). i organized phone calls with my grandfather to learn about his life in croatia (and distract him from recovery from back surgery) (and give my grandmother a break). everyone’s forgotten about covid or actively doesn’t care. but everyone keeps getting sick isn’t that so strange. the weather is a trapeze artist but your average conversation regards it as strange this year, and nothing deeper. my grandfather disowned my father in a bout of rage last month. i keep collecting comorbidities like painful trinkets. my mother emailed me a list of things to write a book about, which reads more like questions she’s been meaning to ask me about my life. i have no interest in cracking open my ribcage so blatantly in something longer than an essay or blog post. i will pour myself into art and fiction and you can take what meanings and interpretations from it as you will. one of my favorite things about creating art is what people find in it afterward. this thing that was an expression, a release for me, has hidden meanings and images to other people that i will never predict and that’s absolutely thrilling to me. sometimes people ask me what things are in my drawings and i ask them what they think it is and it frustrates them to no avail. my mom found a jaguar in this drawing and i cheered but refused to confirm or deny. (after that i called the piece jungle, but it certainly never started that way. i’m not even sure if jaguar is the right cat. the spotted one? but not a cheetah.) 

i journey into only god was above us carrying the weight of cycles and behaviors, patriarchal abuse, research on the balkans, lenin on the brain, thinking about covid and palestine and sudan and every other nation the country i live in steps on the neck of and who’s blood has benefitted me in some way. my own madness, my sickness, my rage. ill mad and angry. genetic health conditions, family curses. writing a sci-fi something. thinking about the deep sea internet cables and growing up on the internet.

/the oceans churning, the cables stay in place/ 

coming from generations of mechanics and farmers and restaurant staff. stuck alone with my parents in the woods of south jersey. missing commute times and the clogged holland tunnel. dealing with multiple chronic conditions that render me at the mercy of corrupt broken state institutions, jumping through administrative hurdles to get care. facing eugenic and bioessentialist thought in every person i meet. wishing i could live elsewhere but knowing that’s precisely what my ancestors did that got me here in the first place. and wouldn’t that be shoving myself up the ladder in some way, stepping on whoever lives wherever i would want to go. continuing the line of betrayal. i’m tired of the us empire’s tendrils poisoning the globe and i want it to fall apart desperately but i also know that as it does my health will get worse without medications and i will be useless to any movement and no movement would have me . my brain creatures whisper i am a parasite and social norms reaffirm the whispers at every turn. the ascetic creature in my brain who sits in her wading pool and passes judgement on the rest of me (and herself) while seeking absolution for everything i cannot change refuses to allow the water to flow and instead needs it to fit in her palms. what was i talking about? vampire weekend. 

/your consciousness is not my problem/ /and i hope you know your brain’s not bulletproof/ (over what sounds to me like the din of squealing subway tunnels)

i have a notes app entry that’s just notes i took while listening to the album. i’ve interspersed some things in here, but here are some special mentions i can’t weave into my words, and then a whole frantic paragraph about the final song on the album because there’s a lot to talk about. time stamps included if you’re listening along at home. 

capricorn: i love the discordant WEE WAW WEE WAW that dominates and sweeps through the song’s entire sound after the second verse. also /sifting thru centuries for moments of your own/ really resonated with me. 

connect: lyrically this was really fun for me as someone who’s got a whole soap box notes app entry document on growing up online and the current online cultural landscape. /now is it strange i cant connect? it isn’t strange but i could check . walked around to where we kept the box of wires, and lately/ . also super thrilled about the deep sea internet cable mention in this song. and then something about the instrumental break at 3:22 reminds me of times square retail stores at christmas time. i can’t explain it. 

prep school gangsters: the emphasis and repeating of /its just something people say/ at the end makes me feel like this is not actually something people say, maybe people really do feel that way . 

the surfer: starts out like old school cool guy bopping down a city street, but then the second piano (a second piano has hit the-) kicks in (1:11) and suddenly it’s offputting and dreary. the extreme weather alert like siren after verse 1. /california king placed directly on the floor/ the selective luxury we all partake in as capitalism spins out around us. the line  /fake fortune teller scandalized by fate/ made me think of astrology and personality quizzes and pathologization taking over the social consciousness. the stunning horns at 3:32 that make me sweep my arms around every time i hear them, the climax of a movie, the height of the wave. 3:44 the wave breaks, and we coast with just a twang of surfer rock guitar. the radio static glitchiness because we are not surfing. we are not coasting. it is falling apart, we are wiping out. we’re headed back towards the beach at the end but the stunning horns return, muted a bit as a reminder of the adrenaline at the height of the wave. 

the chorus in gen x cops,  /each generation makes its own apology/ half of me reads it as healing and the other half reads it as the old person's refrain of not knowing any better. a half hearted apology from a parent, a “sorry you took it that way.” 

mary boone is funny because i /came in from jersey/ and did internships /the one from queens not from brooklyn/ . i also really love  /im on the dark side of your room/ because it makes me imagine the young struggling artist as the rich art critic/dealer/tax evader’s sleep paralysis demon. 

pravda: this one and the surfer are my favorite songs. verse 1 makes me think of when lenin was exiled for his revolutionary writings. sorry . and then something about /leaving at the rising of the moon/ and how revolutionary battles are named in history (bloody sunday for the russian revolution for example.) /your consciousness is not my problem/ thinking about your awareness of the world around you, your political consciousness, and also whether i knock you out or not. also after the lyrics mention hanging the family balalaika by the piano a little piano tinkles in and it’s fantastic. and with mentioning penn station the train squeals to arrive. to me. <3 

the final song is an 8 minute long track called hope and it's so haunting and sardonic and mildly threatening i’m obsessed with it. i was nervous hearing it out of the context of the album at first because i was like god please don't be a liberal nihilism song. but i think in the context of the rest of the album, and paying attention to the words and production, the “i hope you let it go” is like . i hope you let it die. i hope you let it end. i hope you let the insincere prophecy go and move on . the call keeps coming from inside , i hope you let it go (i hope you let it ring). your enemy’s invincible, i hope you let it go Could be (and Is, by genius song annotators who i have never agreed with on a single vampire weekend song) read as the enemy is too strong, give up. but i think of it as like. let it run itself in circles, it will destroy itself. the whole verse for emphasis:

/the prophet said we’d disappear /the prophets gone but we’re still here/ /his prophecy was insincere/ /i hope you let it go/ /the righteous rage was foolish pride/ /the conquerors did not divide /the calls keep coming from inside/ /i hope you let it go/

when it's all over, files declassified. your bag fell on the subway tracks, i hope you let it go and leave it there. embassy abandoned, flag on the ground, painting burned, statue drowned, killer freed, court adjourned. hope betrayed, lesson learned. the instrumental break feels galvanizing. angry. i turn my chin down into a kubrick stare as those horns build and drone on through the rest of the song. the last minute/outro of the song is angry, the pictures getting distorted, the piano/guitar still drone on but a subway passes by, horn blaring, massive distortive ruckus, and then it fades. and the album is over! and you sit .

thank you for reading :) there are things i couldn’t fit in this, can you believe it? even after i did the little list coda! but those will stay in my brain’s constant conversation with itself. the creatures chatter with me as we share a drink. this by no means was an album review. maybe it could be considered a love letter but i am not particularly interested in the band’s True Intention. what you take out of art is a credit to you as much as it is to the artist i think. i don’t want to have confirmation on what art is about. do not tell me the true meaning, let me discover my own. i give what i give receive what i receive . peace n love <3

highly recommend their music videos for this album btw, they use archival footage (and images) by steven siegel and it's cool stuff

[cottoncandyopinions]

Just rediscovered the fact that slime shops are still a huge thing and that people are still buying lots of slime.

Can't help but think about when I was in high school and spent like all my lunch money every week on ingredients trying to perfect slime. I ended up giving up because I kept failing (there weren't real recipes or even ingredient proportions I could find anywhere yet, just a handful of ASMR YouTube channels).

But man. If only I'd kept at it. These slime people are running whole ass businesses and selling out every week!

I mean I guess with my strict parents I wouldn't have been able to ship anything or even post to social media but like... I can dream.

Saw this one shop like "I started my business when I was 13" like fuck you man. I know mom and dad were willing to help you with your business and didn't call you a freak.

That's not an insult to the person BTW, I think it's awesome that someone that's still just a teenager has a bright future and business to look forward to, this is just my bitter vent lol.

Like sometimes all I can think of all of the trends and such I tried to get in on when I was younger, only to be shut down by my parents, and the thing inevitably becomes something that could have literally changed my life.

I found out about bitcoin and tried to get permission to mine it in like 2010, like within a year of it existing. I was told no. Can you fucking imagine??? That was when you didn't need a specialized setup to mine, if I'd even accumulated 1 BTC I could've been SET FOR LIFE

Or how when Kizuna AI was just starting out, I started getting stuff together to try and be a vtuber before that was even a term. Like imagine being in the first wave of that! But of course, wasn't allowed.

Man kids nowadays can plaster their whole ass face on tiktok on a daily basis nowadays, yet I was in deep trouble for the crime of posting fucking G rated fanfiction. Like I always thought that was dumb but holy shit looking back it's so absurd.

I remember getting grounded because I tried to record video game walk throughs that were purely informative with no personal info when I was 16. They smashed the capture card I'd ordered with a Christmas gift card lmao

For God's sake I wanted to learn to code and was banned from doing so because "You'll learn to hack my computer and get around the rules" like good fuck I was trying to learning fucking JavaScript with an in-browser program *via his outdated windows XP laptop* like what the fuck was I gonna manage?

Like if I get an extra half hour aside from my homework allotment, suddenly I'm gonna fucking commandeer your laptop? That doesn't do shit for me, he physically would just take it away, even mid school project, when he arbitrarily decided "too long" was shorter than yesterday.

I just. Idk. I wish I could have built something for myself when I still had the free time and the energy. I wish I'd developed a skill instead of jumping from interest to interest because when my parents realized I liked something, it was over.

I couldn't make anything mine. Not even myself, I was just his pawn, and a lousy one at that