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catsauceeartofficial · 1 month

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Accepting isolation, craving belonging

#art #digital art #comic #long post #this is kind of vent?#I don't want to be all I had a rough childhood wahh #I just find it bizarre to have so many little aspects of my childhood shape me #I crave isolation #I thrive in isolation #But I want to belong #I want to intimately know someone #and I want someone to intimately know me #This is to all the people who have loved me #even if we dont talk anymore #i love you and have loved you and i want nothing but for you to be happy #original post

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eliounora · 1 year

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sunset in silence

#lord of the rings #legolas #gimli #gimleaf #gigolas #my art #this started all sweet and funny but then!!!#i remembered how in the Fanfics braiding is always portrayed as something really intimate #so then this got kind of a risky vibe...#like kissing someone when they're sleeping. kind of iffy but you want them so much #bordering on illicit... oOOooOOO #ANYWAY let me know what you think #legolas fell both first and harder #EDIT: fixed a weird colouring thing that did not show up on my tablet but did on my laptop screen?#EDIT2: fixed legolas's head... twas a bit Elongated

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crescentfool · 23 days

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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

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fangirlfortress · 2 months

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Every second remain alive I become more and more convinced that you only way someone could ever stand a chance of successfully romancing me would be to pretend they have zero romantic feelings for me (or even better, genuinely only think of me platonically) and be my close friend for a minimum of two years, and THEN broach the subject of them liking me. Because that's the only way my brain will ever even consider putting this person into the category of romantic partner/possibility.

#I feel like any time someone approaches me with romantic intentions - even respectful ones #It doesn't matter how much time or how many intimate conversations we have #I will never be fully comfortable with them #My brain rejects them #I'm repelled by the thought of going out with someone I don't know #And if they did approach me that way and I was like let's be friends for a while see how that goes #Even if nothing happened and it was never brought up my brain would just always be like “this person wants to be with you”#“They want to date you or maybe even fuck you”#And that would just sour the friendship for me #I would never be able to get comfortable and that does not a friendship make #Which rules out the possibility of any FUTURE romantic interest bc I'll never feel close enough to be interested #Does that make sense?#I've only ever been in one relationship and I hated it #Asexual? I think?#Maybe even aromantic shit #Demiromantic? Is that a thing? Gotta be #Asexual #asexuality #demiromantic #Demisexual #aroace #aromantic #aromantism

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darehearts · 6 months

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you know one thing i truly like about writing a canon character is just how cool it is to notice the little bits and pieces and headcanons i put in creates this butterfly effect, and then down the road in my various verses, everything is just so different ?! canon divergence is my favorite thing about writing a canon character in general. i live for that stuff !! ♡

#idk if anyone knows about the deleted scene in Beyond where Jim #and Scotty are parting ways in Yorktown and he's gonna go have #dinner with someone-- clearly a date. and then Jim politely says no #and that he'll go find something to do etc. and it highlights how lonely #he is. he doesnt have an intimate connection etc and im like... this #literally did not happen for my Jim bc by this point he's already with #Carol and how /lost/ he feels. trying to find his purpose etc has NO #loneliness factor? he doesnt put in an application to be an admiral with #that influence either. it is solely bc he just wants to do more for the #rest of the galaxy and have a bigger impact in Starfleet. it doesnt have #that /personal feeling of lost/ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND IDK #THAT IS JUST SO COOL. i am rambling dont mind me babes skksdf #tbd

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the-darklings · 2 years

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Hello, I love your fics and I've noticed that a lot of your stories despite being reader fics are very character driven. Not just for the og characters but for the OC themselves.

It's done so well that I wanted to ask if you have any steps for writing such enticing character driven stories or does it just come naturally?

It comes naturally, and stems from the fact that, at my core, I'm an absolute character-driven story writer and reader.

I can put up with okay writing and a mediocre plot, but you have to have good characters for me. It's a deal breaker. I always joke that my favourite thing to do when I write is simply have two characters sit and talk - that's it. If the characters are interesting and compelling, it doesn't matter if they're not doing anything "exciting" it will still be engaging to read about.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that plot, prose, and world-building are not just as important - they are! - but for me, characters are key. And that's because, for me, at least, stories are for people by people. Therefore, characters will always be the thing people remember. Think about your favourite stories for a moment - no matter what the medium is - what comes to mind first? I would bet 9/10 times it's the characters. If I say Star Wars, chances are that even if you've never seen a scrap of those films/shows etc, you still know Darth Vader. You know Luke Skywalker. You know Batman. You know the Joker. That's because we identify with people, aka the characters. They're the reason we love storytelling. The best stories in the world are so popular because they have characters that outlive or/and outshine their own canon.

I guess for that reason, it's always funny to me when I see people get snobby about people's OCs, especially canon/OC ships. And even more so, x reader fics. As if they're somehow "lesser". But take a second to remember something important: every single character you love is someone else's OC that's been given a wider audience. That's all.

#basically to anyone fearing they're being cringe or their original voice doesn't matter: don't listen.#it absolutely does.#i just love people!!! and i love characters!!! i especially love really grey and morally corrupt characters!!!#i love it when characters are messy and irrational #when they frustrate me and compel me #i like it when there's friction and overlap with people #i love it when characters make me question myself.#and i know a lot of people aren't like that #they care for plot/writing more etc.#but for me every character is a piece that can/should be utalised #think about why side characters are often so popular #it's because we want to know more. because we - as readers/viewers - project ourselves onto them #that's also why books tend to be better than movies usually. because it takes a rare talent to translate intimate thoughts onto screen #visual mediums are limiting!!! as someone who works with visual storytelling let me tell you:#prose is a gift because you can create such a bond and connection with readers. with prose you get to burrow into character's brain #with prose you are letting readers in on characters' most intimate feelings/hopes/fears/frustrations aka things WE feel and relate to #asks

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silenthillbunni · 3 months

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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

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pogasm · 6 months

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i wish i could be like. very autistically honest w people sometimes

#like i wish i cld jst. SAY what i rlly mean #but things like that will always b seen as like. too intimate for the situation???#like idk i have a lot of affection for ppl i like but when i try to express that it comes off as romantic interest #like when i say i like being close to you and touching u nd shit like that. it jst means that. it doesn’t mean i wanna fuck u #and that just like. makes me come off as a very flirty person in general when that’s honestly jst how i am #and so. to combat that i try to be very cold in rships so they don’t think i want them #and it’s like. i cant express my true feelings ab someone bc i know i’ll be misunderstood #idk most of the time i just feel like i’m speaking a diff language frm everyone #like everything i ever say will always be misunderstood. so i jst. don’t say things #if i cant express m’y feelings without them being seen for what they are then i just…. wont express them #anyone else do this or is it jst me😂😂😂😂😂

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thrassisfras · 4 months

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The fact that I went into that first conversation with Gortash completely blind and he somehow managed to be the one that almost convinced me to side with him is just wild to me. Gwydion had been incredibly resistant to anyone (even his partner) trying to get him to be just a little power-hungry, but then Gortash came along and started talk about unity and stability instead of "we're gonna be evil and rule the world" and it was working on Gwydion.

My only thought during the coronation scene was "damn, he really does know Gwydion"