#and I’m just very impressed with the quickness in his interpretations of what players want
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ttwt episode 7
“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: our thirteen remaining players were let loose in the Dandenong Ranges in southern Australia with no supplies, no maps- nothing but each other! Even though Team Mojo hit a rough patch while Team Yaoi pulled themselves together for Julia’s sake, it was Albert’s environmental expertise that pulled the Mojos to the finish line, and landed Team Yaoi back in economy. Will they continue to stick together to defend their fellow castmates against Patrick? Will Team Mojo ever stop getting lost in every location we drop them in? Find out now, on Total Takes World Tour!”
Early morning light sifts through the open windows of the first class cabin, awakening everyone bright and early. At this altitude, there are no clouds to filter out the sunshine, let alone trees and houses, so it’s up and at it for Team Mojo.
Michela yawns and helps herself to the breakfast buffet set up across from the mocktail bar. Chris’ off-limits hot tub bubbles in the background, and the faint sounds of the flat-screen television in his private quarters makes its way through the silence in first class.
Albert shifts up next to her, taking up a paper plate and sorting through the assorted vegan options (which, albeit, aren’t very impressive).
“I honestly don’t get how you can just not eat like that,” Michela smiles, helping herself to a large heaping of bacon. “I’d probably starve to death.”
Albert chuckles. “It’s an acquired taste, I suppose. But it’s for the greater good,”
“Does that stuff really make a difference? I mean… no offense, but you’re just one guy,”
“We were taught that no change is too small,” he shrugs, pouring himself some hot water for tea. “I try to live by that.”
Patrick peers over the back of his plush seat from the seating area, eyes narrowed. After a few moments, he plops back down and leans over to Sha-Mod. “Those two are awfully chummy, aren’t they?”
Sha-Mod adjusts the paper napkin tied over his face. “What? I mean, I guess, but they’re just friends, right?”
“‘Friend’ is just a longer way of saying ‘ally’,”
Sha-Mod takes a moment to count on his fingers. “Oh, yeah. Guess that’s right,”
Patrick puts an arm around Sha-Mod and roughly pulls him closer. “Listen, buddy, you get it. We’re two lone wolves, standing apart from the pack!”
“Um… I guess,”
“I always thought you were the best of the Takes Three,”
“Huh… really? Cause we always agreed McLovin carried. He’s the best at Guitar Hero,”
Patrick grits his teeth and then forces a smile. “Yes. You could go solo if you wanted, they’re holding you back if anything,”
“Really? Cause-”
“That’s not the point! I’m trying to say that you and I should krck them before they krck us,” he says, slashing across his throat with his finger. “The chick will definitely make merge, but the guy’s vulnerable.”
“But Albert is nice,”
“B-but Albert is nice,” Patrick mocks. “That’s what you sound like. You’re the most vulnerable player on the team, since you’re not in an alliance.”
“But you aren’t either!”
“Please,” he says, slicking his hair back. “I’m unexpendable.”
---
PATRICK: “Talking to him is like trying to teach a can of sardines to sing opera,”
---
Mal snaps a quick picture of Bonnie and Max as they sleep beside each other and quickly giggles to herself as she uploads it to her blog.
“Bonmax is so trending on Twitter right now,” she squeals maniacally. “People are having discourse over whether it’s moral or not to ship them, since they’re so mlm/wlw solidarity-coded.”
Ass massages their temples. “I don’t know what any of those words mean. Stop talking to me,”
“Isn’t it weird to ship them since they’re both in relationships?” Courtney asks, yawning. "I mean, rpf is-"
“As if. It’s called fanon interpretation,” Mal crosses her arms. “My mutual is a total Maxulia shipper and he’s got like 1.3k followers.”
“A WHAT?” Julia shouts from down the bench.
Across the cabin, Staci stretches and turns to the rest of the team, who are still fast asleep.
---
STACI: “Okay, so, a part of my undergrad program is about leadership- I was hoping to take the hit points by really overcompensating on my participation and my exams, but... maybe this show would be good practice,”
---
“Up, up, rise and shine!” she shouts, pacing up and down the bench and clapping their hands. “Let’s load up on breakfast and then hit the books for strategy!”
“Hm?” Kelly mumbles, half-awake.
“What books?” Max asks, rubbing his eyes. “The Art of War?”
“That’s an excellent suggestion,” Staci says, bouncing a pointing stick in their hand.
---
STACI: “So, in most groups, everyone will assume the role of a communication maintainer- but since our team is so divided, I’m just going to try to do all of them before everyone gets on board. First up: Social-Emotional,”
---
“Does anyone have any more ideas? I’m all ears!”
“Ooh, me! I do! I have lots of ideas!” Phillip says, picking up his notebook and rushing over. “Do you want to hear a poem?”
“I would love to!” Staci smiles, watching as Phillip leafs through several crude crayon gore drawings to get to the poems.
“Who died and made her queen?” Max grumbles. Bonnie elbows him and he rolls his eyes.
---
MAX: “Okay, admittedly, I haven’t exactly been picking up the slack here. But who could blame me? This team is hopeless! Besides, I have… other things to worry about,”
---
“Good morning, passengers! We’ll be landing in about twenty minutes, so buckle in and hold on tight!” Chris shouts.
Everyone who’s up scrambles back to their seats and straps in as the plane begins nose-diving, much to everyone’s horror. Bonnie and Max hold onto each other as they head straight down, and Mal makes sure to get and upload and picture before returning to screaming with the rest of the cast.
At the last second, Chef pulls up and the plane lands smoothly on the tarmac and the doors open with a hiss.
The morning is crisp, cloudy, and chilled as everyone steps down the rickety stairs and onto the pavement.
“No amount of first class perks will ever make up for these landings,” Sha-Mod says, rubbing his back.
Patrick follows him out, cracking his neck and grinding his teeth.
“Welcome one, welcome all, to Wales!” Chris says, gesturing to the rolling green hill behind him.
Mal looks from side-to-side. “Where?”
“Here, you idiot,” Ass snaps, putting their hands on their hips.
“No, where are the whales?”
Courtney sighs and pinches the bridge of their nose. Julia just rolls her eyes.
“Nice team you’ve got there, sweetheart!” Patrick yells from across the tarmac. She grits her teeth.
---
PATRICK: “Now that Julia and I are back to sworn enemies, we make quite the pair of rivals. I mean- she’s her team’s leader, I’m my team’s leader, she’s cunning, I’m brilliant, she’s decent, I’m gorgeous… like a match made in Hell,”
---
“Wales?! We’re only an hour from my grandma's house!” Sha-Mod says merrily, jumping with joy.
Michela raises an eyebrow. “You’re from Wales?”
“No, England is right over… there, somewhere,” he gestures vaguely off into the distance. Michela shrugs.
“Your first stop is Cardiff. To make things a little more fun- for me- we decided to make it a little scavenger hunt,” Chris says, pulling out three slips of paper. “These will have the clue to your next location.”
“Um,” Courtney says, reading Team Yaoi’s slip. “Are these-?”
“These are in WELSH!” Ass says. “None of us can read this!”
“Too bad,” Chris shrugs. “Shoulda thought of that before you came to Wales, huh?”
“YOU BROUGHT US HERE!”
“Beautiful language, isn’t it? I love the use of W's. Well, see you at your next stop!” the host says, waving goodbye and walking into the plane. Ass groans.
Julia sighs and ropes in the team. “Okay, so Mal can run Google Translate on her phone. That’ll give us a head start, but we gotta stick together, okay?”
Courtney looks up to Mal, who’s happily typing away. “Where did Mal get a phone? I thought I trashed hers back in Chicago?”
“I think she steals them, but that’s not important. Let’s just avoid fighting. That’s all I ask of you,”
Staci watches the scuffle from afar and shakes her head, grinning.
---
STACI: “Authoritarian much? Everyone knows you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,”
---
“Okay, team, let’s all go around in a circle and brainstorm. I wanna hear ideas from everyone,” Staci says sweetly. “Kelly, why don’t you start?”
“Maybe it’s a code. Ooh, does anyone here speak hieroglyphs?”
“That’s a great point, Kelly. Does anyone here speak hieroglyphs?”
Max grits his teeth.
“No one? Okay, Bonnie?”
“I can get back in the plane and grab my tablet. If I can connect to the internet, we can-”
A loud whoosh and a strong current of air blows past the group as the plane takes off. Bonnie sighs. “Okay. I’m out,”
“Max?”
“Murder-suicide,”
“Okay, well, I’m not sure that’s very helpful, but thank you for sharing,” Staci says. “Phillip?”
“I actually had a dream about this once, except I was in an airport that was also a petting zoo, and it was in China but everyone was speaking in Arabic, and I had to get to the pretzel stand but no one could hear me because I was invisible,” he pauses once he notices everyone’s blank expressions. “I have prophetic dreams, by the way.”
---
PHILLIP: “They all hate me,”
---
“And then I was suddenly in my grandma’s house, but the dishwasher was in the bedroom, and my buddy Eric's Uncle Dale was there, and then-”
“Okay, ENOUGH,” Max says. “Let’s just find someone and ask.”
“Now there’s an idea! I knew this would work eventually,” Staci claps. Max glares at her.
---
MAX: "Staci's always been a little high on her own fumes. Which is to say, completely and utterly detached from anything that resembles reality,"
---
Team Mojo trudges through Cardiff, Michela leading the rest of the group behind her like a mother duck and a line of ducklings. She holds up their slip of paper to street signs, restaurant names, and any Welsh she can find.
“Anything yet?” Patrick says. “I didn’t do my 4k gold face mask last night and I’m feeling puffy.”
“Calm down, your royal highness,” Michela snaps. “Unless you have a better idea?”
Sha-Mod scratches his chin, looking around the city. A strong breeze blows past them, pulling off Sha-Mod’s face napkin. He screams in terror and runs after it.
“We lost him again,” Albert says, turning as Sha-Mod runs off.
“He’ll find his way back. He’s like a pigeon,” Michela murmurs, walking ahead.
---
SHA-MOD: “Two seasons ago, I said that I would never show my face on TV- and I meant it! I have withstood lakes, small, vicious animals- Scary included- explosions, and hurricanes- I guess the stress of being alone this season was just too sha-much for Lightning,”
---
Sha-Mod walks back in frame with a bag of chips tied around his face. Patrick rolls his eyes.
“Hey, guys! We found a match!” Michela says, bringing the group back towards her. She holds up the paper under a sign off in the distance. “National Museum Cardiff, up ahead!”
---
“I think I’m doing pretty well,” Staci says, leading the group behind her as they walk through the city. Kelly nods. “You’re doing great!”
“We’ll have this team put back together in no time!” she says confidently. “Just a little Social-Emotional nurturing, and I’ll bring together a safe and welcoming environment. That’s the first step- I learned it in communications class.”
“Wow, impressive! College must be fun,”
“It is, I’m learning a lot. Honors is tough, but I’m tougher, right?” they grin. “That’s what my mom says.”
Kelly nods. Max rolls his eyes from behind them.
---
KELLY: “Watching our little friend group grow has been a real treat- I know not everyone gets to do that. Austin is in a relationship, Staci is in university, and I’m… well, I’m here!”
---
“Miserable,” Max mutters, kicking a rock along the road. He sighs loudly. Bonnie tries to ignore him. Then, he sighs again. Louder. Bonnie grits their teeth. He sighs again, groaning a little this time, and they finally give in.
“Okay, fine. What’s up?”
“It’s about… well, you-know-who,”
“Figures,” they mutter. “What now?”
Max fidgets with his tie and looks at the ground. “I was given an… anonymous tip… to watch out for them. For him, I mean,”
“An ‘anonymous’ tip, huh?”
He shrugs them off. “Unimportant. I just don’t get why she’s being so distant about it,”
“You trust her?”
“Yes, yes, of course, but… at the same time, do I?” Max thinks aloud. “I want to. It just feels like she’s keeping something from me. I can’t stand being lied to.”
Bonnie grumbles to themselves and then sighs. “I’m… sorry, I guess. What’s your damage? I mean, what’s your deal? I mean… you get what I mean,”
He shifts slightly. “Michela isn’t the first person I’ve been with,”
“Huh. You don’t say,” Bonnie scans him over, raising an eyebrow. “Well… I’m all ears and no lips. The only person I’d tell is stuck in a studio in Toronto.”
“I went to a pretty religious private school. My family isn’t Christian, but it was top in the province, so… well, you know,” he says, looking at his feet. “Before I… um, looked like this, there was a girl I used to see. She couldn’t tell anyone, obviously,” he rolls his eyes. “But it was like she couldn’t tell me anything, either. I guess it was embarrassment, or something, but it was always distance and secrets with her. I could never figure out if she was upset and lying, or being honest, or implying something, and no matter what I did it was always the wrong thing… I’m not an oblivious person,” he insists, pointing sharply. “But I’m not always good at this romance thing. I guess it just makes me paranoid now.”
“Well, damn,” Bonnie says. “So, you don’t think Michela is lying but your train of thought is-”
“Working overtime to convince me she is,” he sighs. “I know it’s irrational but it doesn’t make me sleep any easier.”
“Couldn’t you just talk to her about it?”
Max raises an eyebrow. “Don’t make me pull out the Caesar card again,”
“Okay, but in my defense- not talking about it just forced him and I to spill the beans on live international TV in front of all our friends and peers,” Bonnie says. “Would you rather it be that?”
“I get the point,” he sighs. “I just can’t get this feeling out of my stomach.”
Bonnie lightly punches his shoulder. “We’ll get you there somehow,”
---
“This is the place,” Courtney says, walking up the steps of the National Museum.
The rest of the team hovers behind them, watching cautiously as they approach the large double doors. They reach out a hand and grab the handle. The door doesn’t budge.
Courtney pulls at it again, then turns around. “It’s locked,”
“Try harder,” Ass cups their mouth and shouts.
“How will trying harder unlock a door!”
Julia sighs and steps between the two. “Shut up! Both of you! Chris might be somewhere around here, or this is some kind of… I don’t know, puzzle. But arguing about it just wastes time and destroys my brain cells!”
The team grumbles to themselves as Julia scans the exterior. Ass storms past Courtney and tries the door again.
“You’re not going to open it,” they say, watching with an unamused expression.
Ass struggles, pushing against the floor and leaning back as far as their body will allow them. “It’s just stuck,”
“That’s a funny way to say locked!”
“Not everyone has a weak grip like you, princess!”
Ass roughly yanks the door, shaking it slightly while they and Courtney bicker. After several minutes of scuffling, they release the handle and shout in frustration, kicking the base.
A slip of paper unlodges itself from the crack between the wall and the door and floats to the ground. Ass grins, swiping it off the stone. “There. See?”
“See what? You didn’t open the door!”
Mal types rapidly on her phone and smacks her gum loudly from the base of the stairs. “Ohhhh, yeah. Forgot to mention, Google says the museum is closed on Mondays,”
Courtney and Ass glare. “That information would’ve been helpful BEFORE WE GOT HERE!”
“Whatever,” Julia says, swiping the next clue from Ass’ hands. "Where to next?"
---
“Sheep?” Max asks as the slightly-annoyed local walks off. “We have to-”
“I know, it’s not my favorite either, but it’s what the clue says,” Staci says. “I’m positive you’re gonna do great, Max!”
He blinks.
---
STACI: “The next role is the supporter, which is basically just what it sounds like. Let’s get motivated!”
---
Team Friendship rushes to the ends of the city, meeting a large road leading out into the country. Off to the side, sure enough, are three herds of sheep.
“This is ridiculous,” Bonnie sighs.
“Sheep farming is an important economy, so I’d watch your tone,” Chris says, dropping in on a jetpack and startling the sheep away. “Glad to see you’ve made it this far- you’re just a few hours away from your final destination. While it’s currently in England, many scholars argue that it was first built right here in Wales- you’re going to Stonehenge!
“Thank you for explaining that, Chris,” Staci says sweetly. Her team unanimously gives her odd looks.
“You’re welcome,” the host grins. “Now, I’d get to rounding up your herd and setting off- I hear Team Yaoi is hot on your trail.”
---
“Okay, edge of the city- let’s go!” Michela says, pointing ahead. She and Albert run while Patrick walks casually behind them, picking at his cuticles.
Sha-Mod lingers behind, looking from side to side before hurrying to catch up with the group.
---
SHA-MOD: “Who am I without Lightning? Without Takes Three?! Am I anyone? AM I STILL SHA-FABULOUS?”
---
Team Yaoi arrives just as Team Friendship sets off, leading two other herds of sheep behind them. The four look between each other nervously.
“Okay, it’s just some sheep. We can do this,” Courtney says, picking up a stick off the ground and waving it around. “Get! Get! Come on!”
“That is so not how you do that,” Ass crosses their arms. Julia shakes her head and sighs. “We need a herding dog, or something,”
The two stop and turn to Mal behind them.
---
“Yeah, I don’t know if this is really for me,” Patrick says, chuckling to himself as he watches Michela try to get their sheep's attention. “I’m more of a wolf, not much of a dog, if you know what I mean.”
Michela snorts. “You’re more like an inbred cat with IBS, but sure! Now, move it!”
Albert tries using a stick to guide them, but the sheep graze on, unbothered. He shrugs to her, and she groans.
“I don’t get it. I’m trying everything I learned about,” he says, tossing the stick behind him. A few sheep bleat nervously and walk away. “What! What am I doing wrong?! Animals like me!”
“Maybe these sheep are just neurotic?” Michela mutters. Patrick smirks.
Seconds later, Sha-Mod comes tumbling out of the city behind them, landing chips-first on the ground. When he stands, the plastic bag is deflated and partially open, and crispy potato wedges are falling from the top.
Sha-Mod sits up, groaning, and sees the entire herd surrounding him. He shrieks.
“No! No, it’s okay! They want the food!” Albert says cautiously while he and Michela watch with wide eyes. “Get up very, very slowly, and walk towards us.”
Patrick chuckles. “You’ve got to be kidding. These dumb animals won’t hurt you! If anything, you need to assert your dominance as the more intelligent species through fear! Watch,” he storms over to an ewe, shaking his fist at them. “Listen here, lesser species. I have the upper hand, and I-”
The sheep bleats and walks over to him, nuzzling against his pant leg. A few join afterwards, going in circles around his legs and playfully nipping at him. He screams in terror. “GET THEM OFF ME!”
“No! They like you!” Michela palms her forehead and then whisper-shouts. “Don’t scare them! Walk over here, slowly!”
Patrick whimpers in fear and edges forward, shuffling his feet towards Michela. Albert watches in horror.
---
ALBERT: “All those hours studying, camping with wildlife, volunteering at free-range farms- and it’s Patrick who’s the better shepherd. This is… what’s happening to me?”
---
Patrick finally reaches Michela and throws himself in her arms, crying. She rolls her eyes and pats his back. “There, there. They’re not going to hurt you,”
“Do they bite?” he asks shakily.
“No,” Albert says from afar. He turns to Sha-Mod, who’s still surrounded by the rest of the herd. “Let’s go.”
---
Team Yaoi walks alongside each other, panting as the day wears on.
“Wish we could ride these useless things,” Ass mutters. “What are they even good for?”
A sheep angrily bleats at them and they back off. Courtney rolls their eyes and leans in to pet one. “I dunno, I think they’re kinda sweet,”
“Whatever,” they murmur in response, earning another eye roll from Courtney.
Julia hangs at the back of the group, watching the two up front. Mal darts into frame for a moment, running around her ankles and barking before circling the group once again.
The sound of laughter and sheep appears from behind the team and Julia turns a bit to catch a glimpse of Team Mojo following them up the crest, sheep in line and following Sha-Mod and Patrick in the front.
The latter grins and waves as they pass by. “See you at the finish line, sweetie!”
Julia grimaces, but waits til the team disappears up ahead to make comment.
“I hate that guy,”
“What’s your deal with him, anyway?” Courtney asks. Mal pops up out of nowhere, covered in grass and dirt, and states matter-of-factly: “Exes. Messy breakup, but even messier relationship,” and then she ducks back to the ground to run around the herd again.
Julia rolls her eyes. “Yes, thank you, Mal,”
“Ooh, fun. Any juicy gossip to share?” Ass asks, crossing their arms and grinning.
“Well, I-”
The familiar ringing of the song bell sounds and she grits her teeth. “No way am I going to-”
“It’s sing or lose!” Chris says, popping into frame on his jetpack. “And from the looks of it, your team can’t risk losing you. So get singing! Oh, and for the challenge, why don’t we throw some Welsh in there?”
Julia palms her forehead and sighs. “I love Wales in the springtime, rwy’n caru Wales in the fall,”
“Good job, Jules, keep it up!” Courtney cheers on.
“It’s the country of love in the summer, but now it’s just a bummer! Cause-”
Far up ahead, Patrick clears his throat. “Julia broke my heart and chewed it up and spit it out and then stepped on it and threw it down a sewer and called it names and then laughed!”
Michela rolls her eyes.
“Oes, my friends, you must never trust a girl!”
Julia goes on front behind. “Oes, my friends, he’ll make you wanna hurl!”
“Oes, my friends, she will,” Patrick pauses to take a deep breath. “Break your heart and chew it up and spit it out and step on it and throw it down a sewer and call it names, and then laugh!”
“Oh, brother,” Michela mutters. Albert nods in agreement.
Far ahead of them, Team Friendship picks up with Staci: “Oes, my friends! We are gonna make it through!”
Max grits his teeth as their sheep run off again. “Um, no, my “friend”, we just lost another ewe,”
Back to Julia: “Oes, my friends, I’m telling it to you,”
“Oes, my friends, now I’m telling you the truth,” Patrick says up ahead.
Julia takes a deep breath. “If you date a boy you met on TV and then break up with him, and then break up with him again, and then finally actually break up with him, even though you were nothing but nice, you will still-”
Patrick picks up as the tempo changes. “We end up on TV! She won’t even see me! And the girl won’t even admit I dumped her FIRRRRST!”
“Is it over?” Michela asks, holding her head. Albert nudges her. “We lost Sha-Mod again.”
She grabs his arm weakly. “Can you please. I feel sick,”
Albert looks around her to where Patrick is humming to himself and leading the herd. “I don’t know if I’d feel good about myself leaving you with him,”
“I’ll be fine. Just go deal with Sha-Mod,”
He sighs, but walks off anyway.
---
Team Friendship arrive first at Stonehenge, despite their sheep going AWOL around them. As soon as they reach the finish line, Max collapses in the fetal position on the floor.
“YAYYYY, we did it!” Staci pumps her fist. “Go, team!”
Kelly squeals and claps their hands. Phillip watches as Bonnie sits down next to Max’s lifeless body and pokes him with a stick until he moves.
“Do we win something,” the goth asks, balancing their head in the palms.
Chris, sitting in a plush chair and enjoying a cup of tea, shrugs. They grumble to themselves. Team Yaoi arrives next, looking around.
“I guess we lost them,” Julia says with barely-restrained joy.
---
JULIA: “Would Patrick being gone solve all my problems? No. But it’d be sooooo satisfying, wouldn’t it?”
---
“I guess you did, but we can’t do the next part of your challenge without all teams available, sooooo…” Chris says. “Time to wait!”
The teens groan.
---
“Sha-Mod!” Albert yells, wandering the rolling green plains. “Sha-Mod? God, how can anyone get lost out here? There’s nothing!”
He takes a step forward and hears a loud crunch. He winces. “Please don’t be a snail,”
“Nah, just me,”
Albert looks down and sighs in relief. He lifts his shoe off the bag of chips and steps off of Sha-Mod, who’s buried in the dirt below him. “Dude. You have to get up and come back to the team,”
“Why should I? I’m no one,”
“You- okay, you have to get up. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this,”
Sha-Mod rises from his shallow grave and sighs. The bag of chips slips off his face and is carried off in the breeze, and he shrieks. “My crisps!”
“Here,” Albert says, taking off his windbreaker and tossing it over Sha-Mod’s head. “Now let’s go.”
Sha-Mod crosses his arms and turns his head, the windbreaker swaying. “No,”
“Why not?”
“I’m no one. No one needs me,”
Albert takes a long, deep breath. “Okay. Fine. What’s wrong?”
“I lost my Lightning,” he sniffles. “I’m no one under that picture.”
“That’s not true. You have a face,” he pauses. “You… you do have a face, don’t you?”
“A dumb one,” he cries.
Albert shakes his head and sits down next to him. “I guess I know how you feel. I’ve been feeling like a failure lately, too. A nobody,”
“Did you also go on a reality TV show for three seasons without showing your face and then realize no one really knows you?”
“Um… no. I just meant more in a symbolic sense,” Albert says, raising an eyebrow. “I just lost my job, my whole life. I don’t really know who I am without it.”
“Oh, I see. I guess I get it. Lightning was my job,”
“Your job was… Lightning?”
Sha-Mod nods. “Now who am I? A sweaty windbreaker?”
“It’s not… never mind,” he mutters. “So, you don’t want to show your face, but you also don't-don’t want to show your face?”
He nods.
“Okay. Makes sense,” Albert murmurs. “What’re you afraid of?”
“Well, originally I did it because I didn’t want my likeness to be on international TV in front of millions of people, but eventually I just couldn’t take it off! It was like a part of me… now, who am I without it?”
“You’re Sha-Mod. I mean, whatever your real name is,” Albert says. “You’re not a piece of paper.”
---
ALBERT: “There are a lot of things I’ve said today that I’d never imagined myself saying before. And yet, they make perfect sense. What is wrong with this show,”
---
Sha-Mod sniffles. “Or a windbreaker?”
“Or a windbreaker,” Albert says reassuringly. “Maybe it’s time to face the world, Sha-Mod. Show us the real you.”
“Um… I don’t know. I think I’m just going to keep this on. I like it,” he says, standing. “Let’s get back to the team.”
Albert sighs, but stands and follows anyway.
---
Team Mojo arrives at Stonehenge last, trudging themselves and their sheep behind them.
“FINALLY!” Ass snaps. “We thought you got eaten by… whatever lives out here!”
“British people,” Kelly whispers. Staci nods.
“Welcome one, welcome all to the final round of your Great British Race-Off!” Chris says, then leans into Chef to whisper. “We’re allowed to use that, right?” Hatchet shrugs.
“Your final task is simple- a delicious, traditional British feast in front of the scenic Stonehenge,” the host goes on as Chef disappears and comes back pushing a table with a few covered dishes. “Each team will select the player with the strongest stomach- last man standing, wins.”
“It’s British food,” Ass puts their hands on their hips. “How bad could it be?”
“Your first dish: Jellied eels!” Chef shouts harshly. “Now eat up!”
Silence. Ass blinks. “I volunteer Mal,”
“I second that!” Courtney says. Julia shrugs.
“Um, so… who’s gonna…” Kelly asks slowly. “Cause I’m on a vegetarian diet this week!”
Max rolls his eyes. “Convenient. I say we make the prince of darkness over there do it,” he jabs his thumb backwards to where Phillip is cowering in fear from the rays of sunlight coming out from between the clouds.
“I wouldn’t mind that,” Bonnie crosses their arms. Phillip shouts Hey! Before scampering behind Chef for shade.
“C’mon, guys! We can reach a solution that makes everyone happy if we work together!” Staci says. The team glares between each other.
---
STACI: “Role number three: Harmonizer. Preventing and mediating conflict. I can do that, no problem… right?”
---
“Okay, if no one else wants to… I’ll do it,”
No one on Team Friendship argues, much to Staci’s horror. Across the lawn, Team Mojo isn’t faring much better.
“It can’t be me. I’m vegan!” Albert says, raising his hands defensively.
Patrick grumbles. “I have a fragile palette,”
“I’m British intolerant,” Michela says.
As the three bicker, a hero emerges from the fog. “I’ll do it,”
Everyone turns. Patrick holds back a laugh. “You’ll do it?”
“I’ll do it! It won’t phase me!” Sha-Mod insists. “I’m immune! And thanks to my new best friend, Albert-” Michela turns to Albert with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs and mouths talk later. “-I know I can do anything I set my mind to, with or WITHOUT my sha-swag!”
Team Mojo stares for a few moments before Patrick shrugs. “Better him than me. Go get ‘em, tiger!”
---
Sha-Mod, Staci, and Mal sit side-by-side at the long table, staring at their uncovered platter of gelatin and eels.
“Mmmm, eel-icious!” Chris chuckles. “You’ll get five whole courses of delicious, top-tier British dining. The last man standing- or alive- wins first class and immunity for his-or-her-or-their team. Ready?”
Sha-Mod nods confidently. Mal scrolls through her phone. Staci is pale.
“Dig in!”
Sha-Mod starts off courageously, shoveling in forkfuls of eel. Mal chews casually, typing something with her free hand.
Staci pokes at the meal with her fork.
“Come on, we don’t have all day!” Max shouts. Kelly elbows him.
“You’ve got this, girl!”
Staci smiles nervously, and then takes a very slow, very cautious bite. She immediately gags and coughs. Albert winces from nearby. “I don’t know if I can watch this,”
After a grueling ten minutes (most of which was waiting for Staci to finish) Chef rolls out the next course. “Black pudding, a staple of the classic English breakfast,”
Staci sighs with relief. “You know, pudding actually sounds good,”
“Oh… noooo…” Sha-Mod mutters. Their smile drops.
Chef pulls off the silver covers on their dishes, revealing black hockey-puck like pellets. “Pig’s blood and fat, a la mode,”
Albert goes pale and turns around.
---
ALBERT: “I don’t have a problem with other people eating meat. When it’s, you know, not condensed into a black disk and made of blood,”
---
Sha-Mod tears into his pudding like a wild animal. Staci squirms and looks back and forth between their plate and their team behind them. Kelly gives them a thumbs up. Max rolls his eyes.
By the time Sha-Mod and Mal finish, Staci takes her first bite.
“Course number three: dressed tripe! While its popularity has wavered since the Victorian era, some places still enjoy this yummy meal of boiled and bleached stomach lining,”
Sha-Mod is beginning to cough and wheeze as he barrels through each platter. Staci is gagging between each bite. Max rolls his eyes.
---
MAX: “Better her than me, but at the same time: I’m glad to see little miss perfect isn’t such a genius, after all. Her little dream of leading the team is cute, but come on- she’s the human equivalent of a marshmallow,”
---
Mal slurps up each bite with ease, popping in a pair of earbuds to watch YouTube while she eats. Team Yaoi watches, bewildered.
---
MAL: “I’m used to eating whatever I can find. For the last six days of my fifth annual One Piece binge, I survived on canned tuna from the Cold War era and rainwater,”
---
“Next up, pork pies!”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Staci says, looking to Sha-Mod. He shrugs. Chef rolls out a thick pie, full of pink meat and she whimpers. “I-I don’t know if I can…”
“Don’t you dare lose!” Max shouts. “You need to set a good example for the team!”
She frowns and takes a cautious bite. Albert, now a sickly shade of green, leans on Patrick’s shoulder for support. He quickly swats him off and Max grins as Albert lands in the grass. “How’s it taste, Staci!”
“Bad!” she shouts back. “It’s too much meat!”
Albert groans.
---
“Well, well, well. I’m impressed!” Chris says, pacing between the three. “Not a single chicken yet. Since you’re all still here, we’re making this a race to the end!”
Chef brings out the final platters, setting them before each player. “First player to finish wins! Welcome to your final round- stargazey pie!”
“Aww, that’s so cute! Are they shaped like little stars?” Kelly asks.
The host grins widely. “Not… exactly,”
Chef pulls off the silver covers and reveals three perfectly normal pies- but each is full of fish heads gazing towards the sky. Staci goes pale.
“Ready? Set? Eat!”
Mal twirls her fork around her fingers and takes a deep bite without looking away from her blog. Staci swallows deeply and begins cutting up the meal while Sha-Mod peers down at it from under the windbreaker.
“Sh-Sha-Mod!” Albert says from the ground. “My coat! Please don’t get anything on… my coat…” and then he faints again.
Sha-Mod pauses and thinks for a moment. Then, he stands.
“You’re right, I don’t need this anymore!” he says.
Patrick holds up a finger. “I don’t think that’s what he meant,”
Sha-Mod ignores him. “It’s time to stop hiding. I don’t need to be anyone but myself!”
He tears off the windbreaker, tossing it to the side. Everyone gasps as Sha-Mod reveals himself to be… a perfectly average white boy.
“Are you kidding me!” Ass shouts.
Sha-Mod takes a deep breath. “It feels good to breathe. And I can finally see you guys!”
Michela massages her temples. Patrick shakes his head sadly.
“All this time, I’ve been hiding- initially, I was afraid of being seen humiliating myself- but I think I was just afraid of being myself. Well, I’m not afraid anymore. I’m Sha-Mod, and I’m going to win this thing!”
A loud ding rings out and the camera pans over to Mal, who’s just finished her meal. She pushes the plate back and posts a Tweet.
“And Team Yaoi has won… again!” Chris says. “Since Sha-Mod’s plate is untouched, we’ll be seeing Team Mojo at the elimination ceremony.”
Team Yaoi cheers. Once the fanfare has died down, Julia grins and waves goodbye to Patrick.
---
JULIA: “Now, all I have to do is convince the team that Patrick has got to go. Not that it’d be hard. I mean… look at him,”
---
Julia peers around the corner of first class, looking both ways before creeping down the hall. She stops outside the bathroom confessional and waits for a moment before Albert walks out.
She grabs him by the windbreaker and quickly covers his mouth, looking around for witnesses again before pulling him away. “We’ve gotta talk,”
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” he whispers sharply.
“Shut up. Listen, I think we can all agree that Patrick is doing nothing but being a big baby drama queen, as per usual,” she says. “I want him gone. You want him gone. Your little girlfriend wants him gone. This is a no-brainer.”
Albert raises an eyebrow. “What do you get out of this?”
“Satisfaction,” she scoffs. “I know Patrick. If you don’t get him first, he’ll get you.”
Julia releases him and walks off quickly.
From around the corner, Patrick glares.
---
“Team Mojo- not looking too great, huh?”
The four remaining players look between each other. Chris continues. “Michela, you’re safe. Albert, you too,”
“Patrick- you’re not exactly a fan favorite here. And Sha-Mod, your revelation cost your team the win,” he goes on. Patrick smirks and crosses his arms tightly. Sha-Mod looks nervous, his expression visible for the first time. “Patrick….
You’re safe. Sorry, Sha-Mod.”
“What?” Michela asks, standing. “That’s impossible, we all voted for Patrick!”
Chris shrugs. “Hey, I just count the votes. Don't shoot the messenger,”
Albert guides Michela back down to her seat. Patrick looks back. “Some team, huh?”
“Why are you surprised! We hate you!” Albert hisses. Patrick glares.
“Well… I had fun,” Sha-Mod says, strapping on the chute. “Thank you, Albert. My boyfriend and I’ll write a song about you!”
Albert forces a smile and a double thumbs-up. Sha-Mod walks to the plane door, salutes, and jumps out backwards. “Don’t forget to pre-order our Christmas albuuuuuuum,”
“What an exit,” Chris says. “Well, off to the hot tub!” and with that, he leaves the contestants in the cabin. Patrick stands shortly after, making glaring eye contact with both Albert and Michela, and then disappears.
Albert glares back.
---
ALBERT: “I had a sort of... revelation today. Sha-Mod is right- everyone’s hiding behind some kind of mask. While his was… well, literal, mine was my job. And now that it’s gone, all I’m left with is me,” a long pause follows, and he smiles widely. “I guess what I’m saying is that no one is prepared for what’s coming.”
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So no one was gonna tell me about Brennan Lee Mulligan huh I was just supposed to find him myself? I looked up his name with controversy after it just to make sure and the only thing that came up was that he answered the 100,000 dollar question wrong in who wants to be a millionaire
#I have been watching fantasy high?#In order to learn#I was gonna watch critical role but I got distracted#and now I’m 6 hours into fantasy high#but this dude is fuckin ??? so good??#he really really like does so good with like all the voices#and bringing all the misc characters to life and making them seem real#and part of the story#and I’m just very impressed with the quickness in his interpretations of what players want#while still being accurate to everything going on in the environment#there’s just so so much to keep track of?#what a guy#very good voice acting#and facial expressions lmao#is this simping#dimension 20
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the breakup
pike jj x reader (ft. cody, tyler, and zach)
the long awaited moment :)
warnings: cursing, light editing
Seeing one of his best friends thriving with a guy, a guy who’d fully replaced him in her life, really fucking hurt JJ. He was sitting in his room one afternoon, door shut, listening to the whole group of them bickering over what movie to watch. Brooke was sitting at his desk, typing something on her laptop, JJ couldn’t remember what, and he couldn’t help but notice that when Brooke was over, he had to keep his door shut.
He wasn’t sure if it was something he did intentionally or just reflexively. He knew Brooke wasn’t welcome, hell, Brooke knew she wasn’t welcome. The damage had been done and there was no replacing the bitterness the others felt toward her.
JJ wasn’t an idiot, he saw how fucked up the way Brooke treated his friends was. He noticed her cruel remarks behind her friends’ backs, and it made him wonder exactly what she said when he wasn’t around.
It hadn’t always been like that, at first, Brooke was sweet, wanting to meet his friends and get along with them. They were standoffish first, and maybe that’s the reason JJ was hesitant to give it up. Technically, he had the moral high ground here.
Plus, Brooke was an excellent distraction. She was attractive, she liked him, and she was always willing to hang out, great for helping him avoid addressing his true feelings and why he felt so hurt about Zach.
He really thought it would get better after the talk he had with her. She crashed their anniversary, and that was admittedly not his best move, but they talked it out and she agreed to be less confrontational and more friendly. Which backfired the second the boys found out he was still dating her. They’d been pissed.
JJ often thought about Cody’s hissed, “You finally realize how she treats us but refuse to break up with her, I see where your priorities really lie.” It didn’t seem fair. Why should he be miserable and alone just because they didn’t like the girl he was dating.
What he was failing to realize, or maybe he had deep down but was avoiding it, was that he’d get his friends back, he wouldn’t be alone. Sure they’d make him grovel, and he’d probably have to pay for a lot of lunches and dinners before they fully forgave him, but he’d never be alone.
Until he realized that, though, he would. JJ would never really get his friends back as long as Brooke was involved, and if Brooke wasn’t out of the picture soon, he’d really damage the relationship beyond repair. Tyler words echoed frequently, “If you choose Brooke over your best friends, the ones here for you since day one, you’re not the guy I thought you were.”
-
Zach was getting ready to head to the fieldhouse, zipping up his team jacket in your room before he had to head out, and he gently suggested, “Maybe you should invite JJ to the game.”
Immediately you were shaking your head, “Absolutely not, this game is important to you, I know pro scouts are going to be there. I don’t want to ruin it.”
He smiled softly, “I just want you to be happy.”
“And I want you to be supported without distraction. Cody, Tyler, and I will be there, front row, cheering you on.”
Zach bent down to kiss your forehead, “Fine, but the scouts aren’t even there for me, I’m not a senior yet.”
“But they’ll notice you, I’m sure of that.”
With a shrug, he inhaled deeply, “Maybe, but it’s not my place yet.”
Shoving him gently toward the door, you waved, a proud smile on your face, “Knock ‘em dead, tiger.”
“Love you,” he answered, wiggling his fingers in a wave goodbye.
“Love you more,” you responded, not letting him get the last word as the door swung shut behind him.
When it was finally time for you to head to the field, you were pretty sure you were more nervous than Zach was. Rubbing your thighs in an anxious gesture, you sighed, ready for the game to be over.
Tyler grabbed both of your hands, stopping you and catching your attention. He squeezed them with a smile, “Zach will be fine.”
“I know, I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.”
“Because you want him to succeed. That’s love, bitch.”
You snorted, “Yeah, I suppose it is.”
“Now, stop stressing, How many times has he told you you’re his good luck charm?”
“Many.”
“Mhmm. And you’re here, so everything will be fine.”
And Tyler was right of course, Zach played an excellent game, one of his best of the season. You were bouncing up and down, waiting for him to finish showering and find you in the parking lot. Cody and Tyler had driven, but you wanted to ride back with Zach.
He grinned widely when he saw you waiting by his truck and sped up. You ran the last few steps when he got close, launching yourself into his arms. Zach’s happy laugh made you smile as he spun you around a few times before setting you down.
“Holy shit, Zach. You were on fire today.”
He blushed, “Well, what can I say, I was trying to impress my favorite girl in the stands.”
Rolling your eyes, you tugged him down by his jacket to kiss him. Zach immediately returned the kiss, and when you broke away, you whispered, “Cheesy,” to him with a soft smile.
“Only for you.”
-
Cody and Tyler got back to the dorm and were a little shocked to see JJ sitting at his desk, door wide open. Thankfully Brooke was nowhere in sight. He glanced up to see them standing there and took in their Duke baseball sweatshirts, a dark look crossing his face.
“So, baseball fans now, huh?”
“Gotta support our bro,” Tyler answered, unfazed.
“Thought you liked basketball.”
He shrugged, “I’m multifaceted. I know you wouldn’t understand.”
JJ huffed indignantly, “At least I’m not bending over backwards for a dude I barely know.”
“You barely know him, sure, but we’re friends with him.”
“He’ll drop you so fast if he goes pro. And that’s even if he’s good enough to go pro, which I doubt.”
Cody and Tyler weren’t fully aware of Zach’s situation and the lack of real support he received from his family, but they’d noticed you make a point to remind him how well he’s doing and how good he is. It didn’t sit well with them that a guy who’d never played baseball competitively in his life was criticizing their friend.
“Have you ever seen him play?” Tyler asked incredulously, “he’s so good so you can fuck off with that nonsense.”
JJ rolled his eyes, “Bias.”
And this time Zach wasn’t there. Tyler felt the rage running through him at JJ’s dismissal and before Cody realized what was happening, he was striding across the room. JJ’s eyes widened and he started to back away, but it was too late.
Tyler swung, landing a solid hit right on his mouth, busting his lip instantly. JJ’s hand flew to his shirt, pulling it over his bleeding lip. Tyler was breathing heavily, hand still clenched by his side in case he needed to hit again.
“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth, Maybank,” and then he was gone.
Cody stared wide eyed at JJ before turning and running to their room to shut the door. Tyler was pacing, running a hand repeatedly through his hair, and he looked up when Cody locked the door. He smiled, “How’d that feel.”
“Really good,” Tyler admitted, “very cathartic. You should try.”
Cody snorted, “I’ll let you handle the hitting, Rocky. I’d probably break my knuckles.”
Tyler laughed and the tension broke. He sniffed and sat on his bed, “Should we sent it in the groupchat or keep it to ourselves.”
“I’m willing to take this one to the grave if you are.”
Spitting in his hand, Cody offered it to Tyler. In turn, Tyler spit in his hand and they shook. No one would ever know.
-
Except you knew immediately when you saw JJ’s busted lip. Your eyebrows shot up and you glanced at the two boys who were smiling innocently and shook your head, “I won’t ask.”
“Thanks,” Tyler responded, “but trust me, you would’ve hit him too.”
Which you quickly interpreted that he’d said something insulting about either you or Zach. Exhaling once, you nodded, “Fine, I’m not here for him anyway, I’m here to remind the two of you about the baseball party we’re leaving for in ten minutes that you clearly forgot about.”
“Oh fuck,” Cody winced, “that’s tonight?”
“It is, you guys still coming?”
“Absolutely,” Tyler answered, “let me get dressed real quick.”
You sat on his bed while the two of them scrambled to find something acceptable to wear. It took Tyler changing his shirt for the fourth time for you to speak up, “Hey, y’all look fine. Let’s go.”
He rolled his eyes, “If we’re showing up with the prettiest girl at the party, we have to look the part.”
“Oh hush,” you pushed him away, “you looked really good in the first sweater.”
Tyler laughed, “You couldn’t have told me that before I changed four times?”
“Nope, now come on, we’re going to lose Cody if we don’t get moving soon.”
He sighed and pulled the first sweater back on before grabbing a pair of shoes and heading to the door where Cody had been standing for the past 10 minutes. Cody looked up from his phone, “Don’t you look hot, Ty.”
Tyler rolled his eyes, “Shut up.”
Cody reached over to ruffle his hair, Tyler squawking indignantly when he did so, slapping his hand away. You sighed, stepping between them, “Children, let’s go.”
“You’re driving?” Cody asked as the three of you got on the elevator.
“Yep, my turn to DD.”
“Shotgun,” Tyler called.
“Hey,” Cody protested, “you can’t call it if you can’t even see the car.”
“I can and I did. Fuck you.”
Sighing again, you told Tyler, “We both know that’s not how it works.”
With a shit eating grin, he answered, “I know. I’m messing with him since he fucked up my hair.”
“Hair looks great,” Cody reassured, “as always.”
-
JJ was completely unsure how Brooke managed to pull an invite to a baseball party. They were notoriously exclusive on campus, not letting many people without a direct connection to a player in. But she had.
“How the fuck did you manage this?” he finally muttered as they walked to the door.
She sighed and rolled her eyes, “Don’t you listen to me when I talk? My cousin plays.”
So apparently he didn’t listen to her much. She showed the guy at the door the text from her cousin and they walked right in, music playing loudly through the house. Brooke grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the kitchen, and JJ looked around, not recognizing a single person.
And then Zach came downstairs. JJ’s gut twisted and he looked away, trying to avoid the boy who likely hated him. Brooke noticed and huffed, “Literally he’s so harmless, babe. Remember he stopped Tyler from punching you.”
Which was true. Zach caught his eye and nodded at him in greeting. JJ nodded back and kept moving until they reached the drinks. He drove, so Brooke grabbed a drink and he grabbed a water bottle out of the cooler shoved in the corner.
Brooke gave him a weird look, “Not even one beer?”
“Not really feeling up to a party.”
She rolled her eyes, “Then why the fuck did you come?”
JJ furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “Because I’m your boyfriend.”
“So you think I need supervision? You don’t trust me?”
“I, no-” he tried to come up with an acceptable answer, “it’s just in case something goes wrong to keep you safe. And I’m always your plus one, figured I could just come to drive.”
With a scoff, she answered, “Could’ve just dropped me off. Now you’re going to keep me from having fun, stick in the mud.”
JJ was a little hurt, but he chose not to answer, not wanting to start yet another fight with her. He nodded and let it go. Brooke rolled her eyes again and JJ couldn’t help but take note that she’d been doing it a lot lately. He wasn’t sure what that meant.
That’s when he saw you, Cody, and Tyler walk through the door, not even needing to show the guy an invite. The player at the door yelled out, “Davis, your girl’s here!” JJ wasn’t sure how he heard over the music, but Zach’s head whipped around and a grin lit up his face.
You waved and made your way to the crowd to kiss him. JJ watched, a weird feeling in his chest, and rubbed over his heart when your group didn’t even look his way. He heard a rushing sound in his ears and went lightheaded. Fuck, he realized, the three of you wanted nothing to do with him.
The startling realization left him cold as Brooke waved at who he assumed was her cousin. He walked over and greeted JJ, “Sup, dude. Nice to meet you. Andy right?”
JJ froze, head whipping over to stare at Brooke. She had gone pale and his jaw dropped, “Nah, dude, I’m JJ.”
The boy’s eyes narrowed and he frowned, “I- my bad. Must’ve gotten you confused with someone else.” Before JJ could respond, he was gone, clearly not ready to face the fallout of his careless words.
Clearing his throat in an attempt to get rid of the knot, JJ turned to Brooke, “Who’s Andy?”
“He’s my partner in geology, you know that.”
“Oh, the boy who flirts with you all the time?”
Her smile looked forced, “That’s the one.”
“Mhmm, and why did your cousin seem to know his name but not mine?”
“I’ve complained about him and his flirting before to my cousin.”
“Right,” JJ wasn’t sure if he should believe her or not, “I think we need to have a talk.” Standing up, he pulled her behind him to the bathroom downstairs. Not wanting to make a scene in the living room.
Brooke’s eyes narrowed, “You’re going to do this right now, embarrass me at this party?”
“Are you cheating on me?” he asked once the door was finally shut.
“No! I’m not that kind of person,” she defended.
JJ scoffed, “Why don’t I believe you right now?”
Hands thrown up, she yelled, “I don’t know, but that’s a you problem.”
“Being cheated on is not a me problem. It’s a you being an asshole problem.”
“JJ,” she said lowly, “I didn’t cheat on you, honestly. I-” she paused, biting her lip, “I thought about it, but nothing happened.”
Blinking a few times to process, JJ managed to croak out a disbelieving, “What?”
Brooke, clearly fed up, scoffed, “Don’t act like that, do you even realize how painful it is to watch your boyfriend pine after a girl who clearly knows him better. God she won’t even give you the time of day that way and you still watch her.”
His eyebrows shot up, “That’s so untrue. I’ve almost ruined those relationships forever because I stood up for you.”
“Thanks for doing the bare minimum,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“No,” he pointed at her, “you don’t get to take the moral high ground when you literally considered cheating on me.”
“But I didn’t!”
“Brooke, you didn’t physically cheat on me, but by considering it, I’d say you did.”
“Come on,” she started, fully turning to face him, “we can work through this.”
“I think,” he paused, trying to stop the shake in his voice, “I think we should break up.”
Brooke shook her head fiercely, “No, no. We’re solid, we can get through this.”
JJ sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Come on, Brooke, the writing’s been on the wall for weeks.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Before she could respond someone was pulling at the doorknob trying to get in. JJ cleared his throat, “Occupied.”
“Hurry up!” a familiar voice yelled, and he heard your giggle.
Brooke’s eyes hardened and she threw the door open, startling you, “Fuck you and fuck your stupid friends.”
You blinked, stunned, and turned to JJ for an explanation. He looked sad and resigned, “Sorry. She’s a little upset.”
Zach caught his eye and looked sympathetic, “Sorry man, I know you liked her.”
Cody’s head swiveled back and forth between him and Zach, “Wait what, what’s going on?”
Your jaw dropped as you put the pieces together, “Holy fuck, you did it?”
“Did what?” Cody whined, tired of being left out.
“I, uh, I broke up with her,” JJ answered, voice a little shaky.
Cody beamed and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking a little, “Tonight we drink to celebrate!”
You laughed, leaning back into Zach, “Congrats, Maybank. Knew you could do it.”
Tyler reached out, offering his fist for JJ to bump for the first time in months. JJ did cautiously before stepping fully out of the bathroom, following Cody and Tyler to the kitchen.
He felt light and heavy at the same time, and Brooke was nowhere to be found. For the first time in a while, he felt like he could breathe.
You and Zach joined the three of them soon after and JJ relished the feeling. Turns out he’d really missed you guys.
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Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child
So a quick disclaimer: Yes, I am very aware that this is most likely not canon, or at least not what the writers intended on being canon, nor am I saying that this is 100% canon and should be considered as such. This is just a fan theory/analysis I came up with for my own enjoyment and wanted to share with others, as I like coming up with theories/analysis posts and reworking canons to make enhanced stories and character development in my perspective. I firmly believe that the idea of making theories isn’t supposed to be a shouting contest to see which opinion is the most loud and correct, but should be something to share with others and find acceptance and understanding in different interpretations, even if you don’t agree with them.
Well, this has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?
I’ve been talking about wanting to do this analysis for months now to various friends and acquaintances, but I’ve only had the motivation to do as such recently, after writing a short story that dived deeper into Gonta’s mindset over the Mercy Killing Plot he and Kokichi attempted to carry out. Regardless of that, however, Gonta has been one of my favorite characters for quite some time, and I really feel like his character arc and the unfortunate tragedy behind the unintentional mistreatment of Gonta via his classmates.
So without further adieu, let’s talk about that--about what happens when a genius is treated like a child.
Warning, this does discuss some rather unfortunate topics, such as ableism, depression/self loathing, and the concept of mercy killing. Viewer discretion is advised.
The first thing we need to elaborate on, is why I am calling Gonta a “genius.” Gonta has shown difficulty in understanding simple concepts, and struggles to follow along complicated plots, such as we see in his Salmon Mode Event where he mentions that he cannot follow the plot of high fantasy stories because they tend to be so complicated. He even refers to himself as not very smart, tragically enough.
However, not is all what it seems for Gonta, as his intellect is a matter of fact, and not just an analysis, and the game’s introduction of him opens up this fact to the player in a round about way that may or may not be so subtle.
Gonta admits here that he was a wild child, lost in the forest for ten years. While the logistics are... questionable, this is a work of fiction, thus I will suspend some disbelief. Gonta being lost in the forest for ten years means that he was probably about 5-8 years old when he was lost, depending on how old he is in the game.
Touching upon this briefly, studies of wild children, specifically referencing this case here, have an extremely hard time readjusting and learning to human language, customs, and interaction. The younger a child is upon becoming a wild child and the longer they are in the wild, the less likely they will be able to learn language and certain social behaviors and skills. While it is not impossible, the likelihood of Gonta being 15 or 16 in the game is very low, and even impossible once I elaborate, and we can safely assume that with the context of him being a wild child, he is probably at least 17 years old. So a safe assumption is that Gonta was lost in the forest when he was about 7.
(Note: I am very well aware of Gonta’s potential forest family not being wolves, and instead the reptites, but these creatures Gonta speaks of very well be his own imagination spiking from the isolation from humanity, or be something else entirely. Gonta makes several references to video game characters as well, claiming he met them in real life, so I consider it highly unlikely that “reptites” are an exception to this. Either way, it won’t matter if you believe otherwise, just that it may change certain aspects of what I’m about to say in regarding education and the sort.)
What’s the point of this elaboration? Well, quite a lot, once you remember that Gonta is the Ultimate Entomologist.
Firstly, there is the fact that Gonta is a high school student at all. Gonta was lost at a very young age--it would be impossible for him to be, since not only had he spent 10 years int he wild, but he also had to rejoin human society, relearn human language and customs, and then be put back into formal education. If Gonta is still a teenager and not over 21, then Gonta would have to cram in a decade’s worth of formal education into a few months, or a few years, at most.
This makes Gonta a literal prodigy.
Had Gonta not been isolated from humanity for a decade, Gonta would have been a child prodigy, a literal genius with an intellect that couldn’t be so easily matched. Having the capacity to learn advance mathematics, language (although in the English version, he is struggling with speak (speaking with the infamous “caveman” speech pattern) scientific methods, all of it within such a short amount of time proves that Gonta is, without a shred of doubt, a genius.
Even if you take the aforementioned reptites into account, it only makes Gonta’s accomplishments slightly less impressive, depending on your interpretation of what the reptites actually are. This is because Gonta still had to engage with formal education, and even in the best case scenario where the reptites were fully advanced beings with a civilization and education (which I quite doubt, if they were, then why not give Gonta back to the human race when he was still a child? Why not guide him back to his kind? Why keep him? Even if they were afraid of humanity, it would be far, far worse for the humans to find them while looking for their lost son... I digress.) Gonta still had to learn Japan’s education. Their history, their language, their social customs--and then, Gonta had to learn how to be an entomologist.
You need to go to college to be an entomologist.
According to this website here, the basic, bare bones higher education one needs in order to apply for certain positions related to entomology is a bachelor’s degree, with most positions and places requiring a doctoral decree. There are, of course, youth clubs for students under eighteen, but from my understanding, in order to be considered an entomologist, you need a college degree.
Gonta is a high school student.
For him to be considered an Ultimate Entomologist, Gonta would have to have taken college courses and gotten some kind of degree in order to be recognized as such. Thus, Gonta is still learning a higher education within a short period of time that is incredible for any human being his age, whether it be as drastic as him having no sort of education while living in the wild, or living with the reptites.
Either way, it is safe to say that Gonta is very intelligent, whether or not he is potentially a prodigy for it.
However, this has very unfortunate implications of the way Gonta is treated by his peers in the game.
Not only does Tsumugi here reenforce that idea in everyone else’s mind...
She blatantly tells Gonta that he was being manipulated and or “tricked” into abducting everyone...
When, in actuality, not only did Gonta know exactly what he was doing:
Kokichi even elaborated on his plans quite explicitly to Gonta:
And earlier on, the rest of the class had been treating him differently than they treat one another, sort of like he was a young child they needed to guide.
For example;
Kirumi assumes Gonta is not very aware that hitting someone with such an object is dangerous... despite him being a peer to his classmates and a young man.
And when Gonta has a pretty valid concern;
He is instructed against it and/or ignored on the subject:
Even Kaede slips up a little;
And during the investigation...
Himiko is 100% convinced here that Gonta is the culprit, to the point where she is trying to trick him with this kind of phrasing.
“Are you not, not the culprit?” equates to “Are you the culprit?”
“Are you not, not, not the culprit?” equates to... I believe it would be “Are you not the culprit?”
And that’s the thing:
Like how even I was confused and unsure about the triple ‘nots’ of Himiko’s statement, Gonta is too. Very reasonably so, actually--it’s extremely awkward phrasing purposefully meant to manipulate Gonta into saying he’s the culprit of Rantaro’s murder, and it takes Kaito and Himiko to realize that it was them causing the problem when Kaede called them out on such.
And again, after Gonta explains his actions during the murder, he gets very frustrated;
Already, we are seeing the effects piling up, leading to a frustrated, angry outburst.
And by far, one of the worst examples of this sort of unintentional ableism is this:
And Himiko even just... flat out does this:
By “dumbing down” the explanation of right and left, and not noticing that Gonta is left handed, she caused him to accidentally switch the wires on the headset, causing the memory error and making this entire trial all the more worse for him. By treating him like a child, like the theme of this trial, she only made things worse for him.
And that’s the problem.
Despite Gonta trying to tell everyone that he has no idea what they’re even talking about, everyone just assumes he “can’t understand the Virtual World” and brushes him off. Again and again, Gonta was treated like a child and brushed off, and this time, it came with a heavy consequence.
These instances of “guiding” Gonta are subtle, and on their own, aren’t much to address as anything more than suggestions or words of caution. However, there is a very clear theme of “we have to tell Gonta what he should do” that starts in Chapter 1 and continues on until the end of Chapter 4. They’re unintentionally telling him that Gonta needs to be guided and needs to be reminded of pretty obvious and basic knowledge, and worst of all, that he can’t be trusted to think for himself and thus needs someone to tell him how to think and feel.
If it was one or two times, that would be a whole other story. However, these instances pile up, higher and higher throughout the entire span of Gonta’s time in the Killing Game, and the majority of the class ends up dismissing or ignoring Gonta’s concerns.
This sparks a growing desire to prove himself, to prove that he can be useful during the trials. To prove to his peers that he can do something on his own, think for himself, decide for himself, except even until his final moments;
Even after Gonta’s Alter Ego telling himself and everyone explicitly that he was not tricked into killing Miu...
... No one listens.
Instead of listening to Gonta, over and over, they continue to brush him off and treat him like a child they had to care for, and yet no one stopped to consider that Gonta is a young man. An intelligent, young man who’s socially awkward, but never the less, a peer to them. Yet they didn’t treat him like a peer, and in the end...
Gonta died thinking he was an idiot. A child. A burden who made everything worse for everyone else. They all considered him as a child, and that’s how they saw him even in his final moments.
Gonta throughout the game constantly tries to prove himself, but no one is paying attention. When he learned of the Secret of the Outside World, Gonta didn’t even have anyone else to turn to for help or comfort. His feelings of uselessness compounded by the desperation to prove himself as an equal to everyone else drove him to agreeing to mercy kill the rest of the group... because how else was a stupid, burden of a child supposed to help anyone as he was? Even though he knew killing was wrong, with Kokichi’s plan, he was able to do something “for everyone,” and even that compounded into the ultimate failure.
It’s an unfortunate reality, because had the class treated him as a fellow classmate and peer, this might have been preventable.
Either way, what do you think? Was discussing the unintentional class ableism in depth towards Gonta a bit... too much? I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever done such a post, so you’ll have to forgive me. It’s also been quite a while since I made a proper analysis, hasn’t it? I must be a little rusty...
I will say--please, do not use this post for any discourse regarding the ableism and what have you if you choose to agree with this interpretation. I will not stand for it.
Either way, I hope you at least found this post to be food for thought. See you all next time.
#gonta gokuhara#danganronpa v3#danganronpa#analysis#theory#character analysis#ableism mention tw#self hatred mention tw
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Okay hold onto your safety goggles ’m ‘bout to go off on a topic here.
I’ve seen random posts about how there's a stigma with people in ao3 fandoms. And there is. 100% so don’t get me wrong with this post, I won’t pretend that there isn’t a stigma from people in ao3 fandoms. But I am about to argue the complete other side of things real quick. Yep, I’m going into sports.
Before I get into sports I think it should be fully addressed that there is so much hypocrisy on both sides of the two very different types of fandoms, one being the types of fandom you find on ao3 and the other being sport fanbases. People in ao3 fandoms are quite made fun of for their avid fandom activites despite said passion also applies to sports fans even if its shown in different ways. On the flip side, a gross amount of people will also say that they don’t get sports and find it brutish and/or stupid. People on both sides discredit the other. So as a person who is primarily into ao3 fandoms, I thought it’d be fun to explain the appeal of sports in a way that non-sport fans would understand.
LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!
Oh and for examples today, I’m using hockey. It’s just the one I actually know more context for.
So, let’s kick it off with a slight anecdote here. My friend and I had asked a guy about the appeal of sports to them and the answer we got was that it was for the stories. Which that didn’t quite click to us when there’s literally no story, its a game. They furthered this impression with talk of stats. In short, they explained it wrong because there are some fascinating stories in sports.
The problem with sports is that there's not an overly easy way to learn some of these stories. But they are there if you know the context. So for example, in a fandom there’s a shit ton of retribution moments. Some hag of a character finally, finally gets just the perfect way of being told off. Its goddamn wonderful and you love life just for a moment b/c that character got exactly what you’ve been dying to see the entire series. That happens in sports too bro. Because trust me, there are...
Plenty of hated players. And it is pretty damn exciting when a player who constantly plays dirty to get some karma.
But the problem is, if you don’t know the rules/watch the game enough, you’re not going to understand that your favorite trope just happened. For example, lets look at this guy:
This is Corey Perry. Now he’s not very well loved by everyone and he has also been known to make dirty plays. As in literally just hitting a person with his stick like in here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PorOu02IeUc
or here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC6C10LYWZs
You can interpret these however you like. Either way, his playing style is part of what makes the next video here a bit more pleasing for fans. I’m going to explain context first though.
In hockey, there’s a penalty called embellishment. It’s used when a player dives on the ice or, more entertainingly, embellishes an injury or trying to make themselves look more hurt than they are. Players will sometimes try to embellish an injury so that their opponents get a penalty.
In this video Perry does exactly that. Some will try and say that maybe he is that hurt, but first consider how brutal hockey can actually be and this ain’t it, and that he is known to make some dirty moves. With that in mind, he basically pulls a Draco Malfoy with Buckbeak in this. Last thing to keep in mind, is that from what I’ve heard (but don’t quote me on it) he’s pulled stuff like this before. Now please enjoy his surprised Pikachu face at the end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO2F85RkJOY
Without any context, this either seems like an honest reaction or just sports eh. But with context, it’s quite fun. I didn’t actually care about the video until I found the context for it within the comment section. I initially watched it within a compilation though. It’s important to know what the penalty is apparently.
Also I will say, there are moments that penalty is actually infuriating and undeserved.
Changing topics, I can’t find a video of this (sports have an absurd amount of compilation videos but very little individual moment making things hard to find) buuuuut! There’s a moment between teams that I actually really liked when I found out the context of it. There was a fight that had started between two teams, as in the entire team went off, at a seemingly minor offense. The thing was the minor thing that happened was against the goalie and the opposing team had already done a lot of other icky thing in that particular game. Why is that important?
You don’t mess with the goalie.
It’s an unwritten rule of hockey but it’s got kind of a sweet sentiment? Hockey teams are generally more protective of their goalies. While there are definitely some volatile goalies, goalies aren’t typically going to be starting fights and are typically in less fights than the rest of the team ends up in. Also the goalkeeper is really important. Not only are they important but there's only two of them. In games where both goalies are injured and can't play, the team basically ends up screwed. The home team has to provide an emergency goalie if that happens and most the time that is a death sentence for the team. There are exceptions to that like this guy:
Which oh my gosh, if David Ayres isn’t one of the best stories in sports. This guy never played national league and was a zambodi driver for the maple leafs. Then he was brought in a the emergency player and helped beat the Maple Leafs. He blocked about three shots from the Maple Leafs, his employers, and the Canes won the game.
Point is, context makes a huge as difference in actually being able to enjoy stories within a game. Knowing how something is a karma moment, like with Perry, makes things click into place. Or knowing that a player has done something knowingly wrong like purposefully rushing into a goalie, makes you understand why people are mad about it. And people are mad right along with the players when they see that.
Same kind of stuff happens in fandom stories.
So I was actually going to add another hockey story but it’s actually really gory so I’m leaving it out. I’d be happy to make a separate post with what I was going to mention but that needs more warning than I can give here. So I’ll cut this short.
Anyway, my big point here was there’s actually some very interesting things within sports. I won’t act like everything has a deep meaning to it, but it’s a tad off to write off sports as just some guys throwing around a ball or hitting around a puck. People will watch this:
Or this:
Or even movies like these:
Because it gives the story with context in a drama filled way that’s clear to understand. Watching sports, the commentators don’t actually fulfill what people would need to understand the drama behind things. Watching sports can be just as drama filled and entertaining but you have to learn a lot of outside stuff.
Overall, fandoms of any kind are going to be similar in a lot of ways. Most don’t consider sports fandoms and the types of ao3 fandoms to be in the same field at all. And while I agree, that they aren’t quite in the same group, both can be entertaining for similar reasons. I just think a lot of people don’t get why sports are entertaining at all. I don’t argue that one has to find it entertaining or fall in love with sports now. All I’m meaning is that people shouldn’t just write off interests. People do that to regular fandoms all the time and attach stigmas to it. And because sports doesn’t feel like the same thing as a fandom, people in fandoms don’t seem to mind writing off the interests in sports in a similar manor. And people don’t always do that meanly but saying “You can like it, I just don’t get it” is writing it off to an extent. Because really, we can all get it to a certain degree even if it’s not out cup of tea.
That’s all! Again, let me know if anyone wants the random but kind of gory hockey knowledge I cut.
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𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐧𝐞𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐚 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
disclaimer : i am still not japanese, i only study it in college so please correct me if i wrote any mistake :)
↳ link to my karasuno edition
⇀ kuroo tetsurō - 黒尾 鉄朗
黒尾 : the first kanji 黒 (kuro) means “black” and i don’t think more details are needed. the second is 尾 (o) and means “tail” which is obviously a reference to the team (kuroo’s such a great captain that his name screams nekoma how cool is that ?)
鉄朗 : the first kanji 鉄 (tetsu) means “iron”. now i know that nekoma is no iron wall like datekō but we can’t ignore that kuroo is an incredible blocker and this kanji might be a reference to his position in the team. however, even though kuroo might give off pretty impressive and strong vibes like iron, we can’t forget that he’s a major dork. this trait of his personality is more expressed in the second kanji 朗, meaning “cheerful, bright, melodious (maybe kuroo can sing?)”
⇀ kozume kenma - 孤爪研磨
brace yourselves, this one hurts a bit. ready ? let’s go
孤爪 : the first kanji, 孤, means “orphan, alone”. see ? told you i’d hurt. ok so the beginning of kenma’s name is a reminder of his introverted personality, but the second kanji has a very different meaning
爪 means “claw, nail”, obviously the meaning that holds our attention here is claw. i think it’s pretty interesting that kuroo represents the tail, because it’s what people see first when a cat walks (maybe even struts, depends on the cat but kuroo would definitely strut), it’s what’s usually standing up for people to see while the claw is the part that’s the closest to the ground, and something that people tend to avoid. it seems like a great metaphor for, on one hand, kuroo who’s hard to ignore, and on the other hand, kenma who’s hard to notice and much less approachable
研磨 : ok now for this one i think it’s not very relevant to analyze one kanji after the other because “kenma” actually is a noun on its own. it means “grinding, polishing” but also “striving to master something”. and i think it’s clever to have named kenma with these kanjis because, beyond his detached appearance, we know that he’s deeply involved in subjets that matter for him (even if it’s mainly video games)
⇀ haiba lev - 灰羽 リエーフ
灰羽 : lev’s family name kind of has the same function as kuroo, because the first kanji seems to be linked to his hair color since 灰 means “ash”. on the other hand, the second kanji’s meaning is a bit more difficult to understand
羽 means “feather”, which is a bit surprising considering that lev is a part of nekoma and that kuroo and kenma both have cat features in their names. but the fact that feathers relates to birds and that birds are the preys of cats kinda cracks me up because i can just imagine all nekoma hunting lev down and yeah i’m tired. but in my opinion lev’s family name is just a reference to his hair, like “ash-colored feathers” or something like that, but it’s just a big assumption
リエーフ : as you know it, lev is a russian name and its meaning is “lion” or “heart”, and i don’t have much to say about it except that i think it’s a really pretty name
⇀ yaku morisuke - 夜久 衛輔
ok so i’m just going to go over yaku’s family name real quick. the kanjis 夜久 respectively mean “night, evening” and “long time, old story”. i can’t find any symbol in that but if you do you’re more than welcomed to share your thoughts :)
衛輔 : the first kanji, 衛 means “defense, protection” which seems pretty relevant for the nekoma’s libero
the second kanji 輔 means “help”. if you’ve read my post about karasuno, you might remember that one of the kanji’s in tanaka’s first name also means “help”, which is not surprising because morisuke and ryūnosuke have the same ending. however, the kanji is different : for yaku, the kanji means help in the sense of “advise, assist someone” while for tanaka, the kanji’s more in the sense of “saving from danger”. it’s not very susprising because yaku seems to help his teammates in a way that it’s much more “mature” and level-headed than tanaka (kind of similar to suga’s attitude)
⇀ yamamoto taketora - 山本 猛虎
i won’t go over his family name because it’s a really common last name in japan and, like yaku, i don’t think it has a particular meaning that corresponds the character. his first name on the other hand....
猛虎 : we all know there’s a parallel between yamamoto and tanaka. and i was glad to find that this parallel also translates in their first names. the meanings of the first kanji, 猛, are “fierce, rave, rush, become furious, wilderness, strength”. that’s a lot of meanings but they all fit yamamoto pretty well
the second kanji, 虎, means tiger. and that’s our parallel with tanaka, since his first name means “dragon”. and what’s also pretty cool is that when you combine the two kanjis of yamamoto’s name, it actually forms the word “fierce tiger, ferocious tiger” (but it’s pronounced mōko)
⇀ inuoka sou - 犬岡 走
犬岡 : the first kanji 犬, meaning dog, seems to correspond inuoka’s vibes, which are very similar to hinata’s. the second kanji is also pretty appropriated to inuoka - especially regarding his position as a wing spiker after lev replaced him as a middle blocker - because 岡 means “height, knoll, rising ground”
走 : the meaning of this kanji is “run, race”. and overall, the kanjis of inuoka’s name give me the impression that he’s kind of a discount version of hinata, no shade honey. because hinata’s name means sun while inuoka’s “still” related to the ground, it’s like he’s right below hinata. and shōyō’s kanjis mean “soar, fly” while sō only mean “run, race”. don’t get me wrong, running is good, but who would want to run when you can fly ?
⇀ nekomata yasufumi - 猫又 育史
猫又 : obviously you guys have already noticed that coach nekomata carries the name of the team in his own (just like ukai with the crow). but these two kanjis actually have a meaning in the japanese culture ; indeed, nekomata is a mythical two-tailed cat. it’s most definitely not related to coach nekomata but i thought this was a pretty cool information
育史 : in my post about karasuno, i said that the second kanji of ukai’s name means “foster, bring up, develop, nurture”. well this idea can be found again in nekomata’s first name since the first kanji means “bring up, raise, grow up”. and the second kanji means “history, chronicle” because let’s be honest : coach nekomata is obviously linked to nekoma’s history
⇀ naoi manabu - 直井 学
i won’t go on about naoi’s name because it's pretty self-explanatory and does not have a very deep meaning. but i thought it’d be a pity not to include him in this post since his name is still linked to the character
直井 : the first kanji means “straightaway, honesty, frankness, fix, repair” and the second means “well, well crib, town, community”. i think the first kanji tells us a few things about naoi’s personality, because i don’t know about you guys but before writing this post i barely knew what kind of person he was. that’s what great with kanjis, they can give us informations about characters that aren’t much developed in the show
学 : the meaning of this kanji is “study, learning, science”, in other terms, it’s corresponds well his position as a coach. we might also interpret that as naoi still learning things from nekomata ? just a thought
i think what we can get out of my pretty basic analysis is that it seems like furudate really cared about forging links between the players of nekoma and karasuno, with inuoka/hinata, yamamoto/tanaka and yaku/suga. it was already noticeable in the manga/anime but i think the kanji allow us to understand these links a bit better !
#STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT TAGS TO PUT HERE#hq#haikyuu#kanji#nekoma#kuroo#kenma#lev#nekomata#inuoka#yaku#hq yamamoto#kuroo tetsurou#kenma kozume
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A/N: this is a story of Osamu expanding his artistic interpretation to the msby black jackals...
Word count: 1318 (+4 bento illustrations)
(click here to see more of Osamu’s bento)
(taglist in the notes, please go to the link in my bio or send me an ask to be added to the bento taglist uwu)
-
On the rare days when you didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to prepare for being stuck in a tiny cubicle, you tried to exploit the luxury of not having to set an alarm to the most you were allowed.
Feeling a slight cramp on your leg, you rolled to your side while squeezing your eyes tight to shake away the soreness. You felt the bones in your back crack as you stretched out lazily on the bed that you now had all to yourself, fumbling to pick up your phone that was flung to the side.
11:30, still very early. You let out a soft sigh as you flipped your phone so that the screen was facing down before pulling the blanket up to your face, turning around to get just a little bit more sleep.
But your plan was rudely interrupted by the sharp yelp from down the hallway followed by the medley of noises of things crashing down.
You kicked the blanket off of your body in frustration, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead as you stared at the ceiling blankly.
What was he up to again?
“Samu, what are you-” you paused when you poked your head into the kitchen to see your boyfriend crouching on the floor with a bowl next to him, “are you ok?”
“Yeah,” he winced, rubbing the back of his head as he stood up, “I was trying to get the bowls at the back of the shelves but everything that was piled up fell down and it hit me on the head.”
He leaned down so that his head would be at your eye level with a pout and you clicked your tongue, reaching out to massage where the swell was forming while muttering for him to be more careful.
“I thought you don’t use the bowls at the back,” you questioned as you continued to rub circles on his head, looking around to see what he was doing before, “you said the other ones are easier to use and you don’t need that many- oh.”
Every inch of the kitchen counter was covered by plates and plates of food. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that the dishes in the sink had already been piled up. There was a few abandoned pans being pushed to the side of the stove and the role of plastic film was sitting soundly on the floor.
Your eyes flickered between the mess and your boyfriend who now stood back up under your accusing gaze, looking at the ground sheepishly as you stared at him. “I was trying to do some recipe development and got ahead of myself...”
"I could tell,” you sighed, “so what is it that got you so worked up on a sunday morning?”
“I need to finalise on the bento designs for an event we are working on,” he perked up, “wait, maybe I can let you guess if you know what the bentos are supposed to be to see if the designs are working!"
You gulped, feeling like perhaps this was not the finest idea but he was quick to pull a box out from behind the many plates and handed it to you with both hands.
“Does this remind you of someone?”
“Someone?” you asked in confusion before turning your focus to the bento he was holding out, “um...”
You stared at the interestingly shaped rice and the seaweed strips that was on top, until the very familiar ring of “HEY HEY HEY-” started echoing in your head.
“Is it Bokuto?”
“Yes!” he beamed, turning the lunchbox to take a satisfied look at it, “the MSBY Black Jackal management team want to set up a pop-up food truck outside their next tournament venue to create more hype so naturally, I applied for Onigiri Miya to be in charge of catering.”
“This is actually pretty cute,” you tilted your head, feeling slightly not used to how averagely adorable the design was, “I would be pretty happy about it if I was a fan.”
“Right?” he chirped as he put it down, “I have the other member’s concept bento ready too. Look!”
He pointed to the red plum sitting on the stewed beef, “I even tried to incorporate each member’s favourite food into the menus.”
“Oh, so this is for Sakusa?” you said, feeling rather impressed by the amount of effort he had put in, “and the empty space on the rice next to the egg strands is the mask?”
“Mhm,” he nodded happily.
“Then the orange one over there is Hinata’s?” you pointed to the vibrant box at the corner that stood out from everything else.
“Yes!”
“I thought about putting raw egg on rice in there but seeing that we need to store everything in the truck that seem like it might get us into some trouble with the health department,” he said.
You stared at the bento in your hand and glanced at the other ones that were lined up at the side. Sure they all looked delicious but comparing to all the ones you had seen Osamu made, they seemed... normal? You felt a slight conflicted feeling. So was he giving your strangely looking bentos to you on purpose?
Then you remembered that there was one last bento you had yet to see.
“Did you have something for Atsumu too?"
"Oh yes!” he looked particularly excited that you brought it up, opening the fridge and pulled out a box from inside, “his was the first one I settled on, actually.”
“Hm...” you took the box he handed to you, and brought it to your face just a little closer to see if your eyes were fooling you.
...?
“Samu, what is this?”
“Those are hamburger patties.”
“Yes I know,” you took a deep breath so you wouldn’t sound too bewildered, “but why is there a pepe inside Atusmu’s bento?”
“What are you talking about? That’s Tsumu!”
...!?
“Does it not look like him?” Osamu furrowed his eyebrows as he fixed the omelet on top of the rice with his cooking chopsticks, “I thought I got his face down pretty well.”
“I-” you stuttered, your eyes flickering between the rice Atsumu(?) and your boyfriend, “um...”
Osamu, you did remember that you two are twins, right?
“Anyways,” he said as he put away the bentos, “I have a feeling that this collaboration would be a big success!”
“Hm...” you nodded skeptically.
It would probably do great in sales, but you wonder what the actual players of the team would think about it...
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A few days later, you woke up to see Osamu desperately battling with a tie in front of the closet mirror.
“Where are you going all dressed up?” you climbed up with a yawn, swatting his fumbling hands away and took it off his neck. He was handy in the kitchen but surprisingly clumsy with things like this. You yawned as you knotted the tie on your own neck before handing it to him.
“I’m going to have a meeting with the MSBY pr team today on the bento designs,” he said as he pulled the tie up, fixing the knot in the mirror before pacing out the room but not without leaving a quick kiss on your cheek, “your bento is on the table, remember to take it before you leave.”
Then he was gone, leaving you still standing there and connecting the dots with your still half-asleep brain.
So... did he make any changes to the designs after he showed it to you last time?
You got the answer you needed later when you got a message from Sakusa later, attached with a picture of the Miya twins wrestling each other.
Ah, just like the good ol days. You nodded, and pressed the download button on top of the message.
#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x reader#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu imagine#miya osamu imagines
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Thoughts on Street Dance of China 4 episode 2
(Aka Fishy is screencapping shows again. I’m screencapping straight from Youtube so sorry for the shoddy cut off screencaps but blame Youtube for having their player bar cover the video. I’ve never understood that because it’s always in the way.)
(Also Episode 2 part 1 is really just “How many times can Han Geng and Henry hug” and the answer is “as many times as they want”)
- Not really sure why Henry chose Anissa and Tuzi for the 2 vs. 2 battle, especially since Anissa was really not confident about it :( I felt really bad for Anissa because she seemed super nervous!!!!! I just hope that she doesn’t lose enthusiasm and that she can continue to enjoy the rest of the competition v.v
- Kelo and Uwa were extremely impressive though. Like, the way they move together is so awesome and cool.
- Among the dancers, Xiao Jie is actually really good at speaking. No wonder he gets interviewed a lot, because he’s able to describe the dancers to us layfolk, but he is also very smiley and entertaining.
- How dare Yixing be this cute 😤😤😤 He’s definitely far more relaxed when he’s just a spectator, that’s for sure. He was laughing at all the jokes and awkward moments and generally so much more animated when just part of the sidelines.
- Henry covering his mouth because he was enjoying Xiaohai’s performance was pretty cute too, not gonna lie.
- I liked San’er from episode 1, so I was cheering for him when he participated in the 3 vs. 3 battle lol. But it was really interesting to hear the conversation when Wang Yibo asked his team why San’er lost the battle. Ye Yin and Liangliang told him that to the judges who are old school, they care less for explosiveness, and more for actual skill, and while San’er’s performance might’ve looked really exciting to the average viewer, that’s not what the old school judges look for.
- So apparently Lil Kev plays a lot of mind games, and we saw that during his battle against Bozi. So he’s like...the Brad Marchand of breaking lol.
- Are...are we gonna comment on this hug between Poppin’C and Xiaohai? Lmao
- What are they being so cute for. (Also don’t @ me but Bunta is....really cute)
- Is it just me, or did we get fewer behind-the-scenes practice clips this time for Han Geng vs. Henry compared to Yixing vs. Yibo? Particularly for the 5 vs. 5 battle.
- Dimple alert. (Sorry I know this is a Han Geng vs. Henry battle but Yixing just looks so freaking cute today)
- Han Geng.....has a really soft and gentle voice (it is simping hours up in the fishy house okay). He speaks particularly quietly during his one-person interviews and his voice is so pleasant to listen to in those clips.
- Henry was talking about how he wanted to do that move with Poppin’C where they’d lean back on each other’s knees and do a wave with their arms. For some reason that move struck me as something that was very Henry like. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who uses a lot of waves and smooth-looking moves in his dances.
- Also lol @ Henry being “non fatigue!” That Ontario French curriculum at work.
- Han Geng and Henry trash talking each other except it just turns into a walk down memory lane about how Han Geng used to take care of Henry.
- Don’t even act surprised, y’all knew I was going to screenshot this.
- Kitty is amused.
- Of course Han Geng would end his routine with a big ol’ hug. What a huge softie.
- I did think that Han Geng and Xiaohai were kind of a rough duo because even if they were in sync, it was hard to tell because of the height difference. Actually, I spent a lot more time focusing on Han Geng, especially towards the end when the rest of the team crowded around them and he was visibly one of the taller ones.
- Henry’s move where he stood on Poppin’C’s thighs was super cool!! His performance was just super fun to watch. I felt like I was having a good time along with them haha.
- Please sir, may I have more hugs?
- I think Han Geng and Xiaohai’s second performance was better because it relied less on being in sync performing the same actions. However, at this point, Poppin’C and Henry have kind of created a specific brand (TM) for themselves, like they are so uniquely charming to watch, so they have firmly won me over Han Geng and Xiaohai’s team.
- Running into a hug? Are you kidding me, Lau Hin-wah???
- More
- Not only is this show cashing in on the Suju/Suju M fans, it is definitely going to pull in new fans with the Han Geng/Henry ship lol.
- Yixing spinning to get up.
- It is just so goddamn natural for them to be so close to each other. Also Han Geng said that his waist is feeling iffy from that popping ^^;; Old man joints
- Lifting Han Geng’s shirt to look at his patch...
- One of the dancers on Han Geng’s team was crying because he made a mistake in the 5 vs. 5 battle and Han Geng is like why are you crying? And gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.
- Why is that the ads done by the dancer contestants are so much more entertaining than the professional ads (the ads with mainstream celebrities or with professional actors).
- Henry’s written the pinyin on top of the Chinese names of his team members. Better safe than sorry, you know?
- Lmao how dare they bully Tengzai and Shitou by making them talk XD
- I think that when Henry assigns his team members to certain battles, he is thinking more about the combination of styles, rather than the skill level or synchronization. When he assigned Anissa and Tuzi to the 2 vs. 2 battle, he wanted to try out the East vs. West approach, but the opposing duo of Kelo and Uwa had a lot more history together and were obviously better as a collective unit. When it came to Chen Mo and Waiwai, he was interested in seeing a waacking duo. In theory I think I know what Henry was trying to imagine, but I think it is difficult to have a really intense waacking duo because it’d be hard to synchronize very high speed arm movements. In the end, they went with some moves that were simpler, and I think that’s why they lost out to Tengzai and Shitou. That being said, Henry did win his first battle against Han Geng. I think it’s just the 2 vs 2 battles that are his weakness. The 3 vs. 3 battles are really just individual battles, and the 5 vs. 5 battles are usually made up of dancers who are used to routine group dances as opposed to solo or duo dancers.
- A quick word about the judge Icee. His name in Chinese is 王冰冰. The 冰冰 part is self explanatory enough (冰 means ice), so where does the 王 come from? I read somewhere (I forgot where), but apparently his wife’s surname is 王, so he just took on her surname for his Chinese name. Don’t know how true that is, but I think that’s cute.
- So often I see Bunta and Ibuki having fun and cheering on other people, whether it’s their own team members or dancers on other teams.
- Less than a second flashback of Zitao from a previous season v.v Please producers...let us have a LayTao reunion....please....I beg....
- The 5 vs. 5 battle between Yixing and Henry’s teams was pretty fun to watch, probably because the song was so hype lol.
- The leader battles between Yixing and Henry were really entertaining too though.
- The first piece of music for Henry and Yixing’s leader battles was very very cool. Like, it was just a nice piece of music to listen to, and I think that the kind of music it was gave way to rather creative interpretations. Henry and Han Yu went for a more story-based approach, whereas Yixing and MT Pop focused more on an aesthetic. I preferred Yixing and MT Pop’s performance here.
- Henry and Han Yu also had a pretty solid performance for the second song. As for Mingming and Gumball, they didn’t really perform “together,” because they were both doing their own thing, but their individual performances were interesting. (Also let us acknowledge, nothing gets Yixing turnt like KRUMP XD He was so into the performance haha)
- I was so caught up in the euphoria of Henry/Han Geng that I forgot that Henry and Yixing also had a past history, but I think their friendship probably mostly existed off screen. They were from different groups after all, but we also know how low key Yixing has always been. Even if they were bffs we never would’ve known. I also remember on Back to Field, Yixing said that Henry helped him install and set up his music software, so they probably have some kind of rapport on the music side. But yeah, it just seemed like Yixing was rather formal about it all, calling Henry his 哥哥/前輩. And Henry seemed to look at Yixing like his son lol. He was like oh look at Yixing and how far he’s come, etc.
- Xiao Jie said that he’d battled Hilty & Bosch 14 years ago, which means that Xiao Jie isn’t that young, which may be why he’s so chill lmao. Anyway, Xiao Jie is a very entertaining dancer to watch, and he worked well with Shen Zihao. But of course, HB are formidable themselves as well and their chemistry is just too too good. And they’re just incredibly clean dancers.
- Yibo went over to Han Geng to scope out who he was going to send out for their battle. Xiao Jie tried to warn Han Geng about this but he was too late and Yibo already made his attack. But the entire interaction between Yibo and Han Geng was so lols because it was so strange lmao. Yibo was straight up like “who are you going to send out during the battle?” And Han Geng kept thinking that Yibo was trying to play mind games and use that to gleam other information from him. So Han Geng’s answer ended up being really confusing too, he was like “if that’s what you’ve decided I’ll follow your lead.” The thing about Han Geng is that he is too senior for Yibo to clown on, so he is actually being serious, and Han Geng is trying to keep things light haha. (I think Yibo would totally be his normal gremlin self to Yixing and Henry, but Han Geng is like the next tier up from them both.)
- LMAO Aki-san calling out Tony-san for being older than him XD And Tony Gogo was like what have I ever done to you??? I love Aki-san hahahaha.
- Okay Aki-san vs. Nelson was pretty awesome, but SO WAS BORIS vs. ZYKO???? Holy crap that was sooo much fun to watch because like....human bodies can bend that way? And Boris and Zyko aren’t small guys, so it was insanely awesome to watch.
- Side note, Boris’ Mandarin is pretty good. I looked him up and on his Instagram he says he lives in Shanghai, so it makes sense that his Chinese is good enough for everyday communication. In one part of the show he was instruction Yibo on dancing and like, he was not stuttering at all.
- Wait, Han Geng says that he’s known Yibo for 10 years :o So I just looked him up and it turns out Han Geng has been with Yuehua Entertainment since 2010, so I think the math makes sense. Wow, how time flies. He always such a dad though, he’s always like, the top priority is fun and happiness!!! And honestly, he’s right. Like, what is this show if not just a huge dance showcase more than an actual competition?
- Physically impossible for Han Geng not to hug his didis.
- I love that in a dance party full of dancers, some will still choose to slow dance like this.
- Of course Henry will come and praise his gege. (ft. Nelson in the right lol)
- Yo I love Rochka. He’s one of the chillest guys there.
- The kids’ performance was cute :3 Their little jumpsuits uwu
- Also one of the kids was Shitou’s daughter and it was absolutely hilarious how he still introduces her in the most monotonous and neutral voice and he was like “please give her some encouragement” in the most low energy voice ever XD The b-boying kids were super legit though. Oh and apparently Xiao Jie’s son was one of the dancers too :3 Somebody was like “yo Xiao Jie isn’t that your son?” and he was like “lol yeah.” XD Aren’t they cute?
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The Negative Arc of Ennio Salieri
After this past chapter of Eating Alone, I’ve thought a lot about Don Salieri and how I’m interpreting and writing him. Just a warning but this is going to be a loooong post. I actually rewrote it because I thought it was too long, and it still is lol.
I’ll start with a quick explanation of the negative arc for those not into lit analysis. Feel free to ignore this paragraph if you’re already familiar. The negative arc tells the story of a character that ends the story in a worse place than where they started. I would argue that many Mafia stories have these (Vito Scaletta being the foremost one that comes to mind). There are three kinds of basic negative character arcs: the Disillusionment arc (I’d argue this one for Vito), the Fall arc, and the Corruption arc. I feel the Salieri goes through the fall arc, which goes as follows: character believes lie, character clings to lie, rejects new truth, believes stronger or worse lie.
Let’s talk about the truth and the lie of this tale. The lie that Salieri believes is that he is better than Morello, which he has three reasons for. Those qualifiers that he sets up for being ‘better than Morello’ are being a competent business man, a father to his men, and a pillar of the community. We, of course, know he is exactly like Morello when the chips come down to it, but this is the lie Ennio convinces himself with (and does so for others as well). There is a slow decline over the chapters where his humanity hinges on two touchstones: Frank Coletti and Marcu Morello. These events are what challenge the lie.
Let’s look at how the lie is established and how he is presented in the first part (referring to the five groups of four chapters between the diner book ends). He wants to help out Tommy by giving him a loan and tell Morello that he can’t hurt the regular people in Little Italy, projecting a certain ideology to Tommy and the rest of the trio gathered. After Tommy and Paulie burn down the parking lot, Salieri talks about how Morello’s anger will burn out his brain (words implying that he’s like a child). Then, Salieri gives his rules for the neighborhood: no swearing (a very parent like guideline), no drugs (pillar of the community), and be careful with the police (trying to show caution instead of aggression; also gives the impression of ‘local, mom and pop’ compared to big shot Morello). Next chapter he has Paulie and Sam show Tommy the ropes and gives explicit instructions not to be rough with anybody, although he probably was well aware that would happen anyway. Plausible deniability and showing how he “cares” for his community. Because we, the player, have very little evidence to contradict this notion, we are not aware of the lie that Salieri believes, but we do get to see the conviction with which he believes it.
The lie gets fleshed out with fair play. He is still concerned with his lie considering his conundrum with how to treat the other driver (Morello didn’t have the same concern and faced no consequences so either he has friends at the track too or that was never actually a problem), and he mentions how a lot of people in the neighborhood come to him for financial advice. The fact that he does this is meant to illustrate both his competency as a business man and the fact that the community trusts him. We skip ahead at to Better Get Used To It, and he is full of apparently righteous fury at the treatment of Sarah. He talks about how she is a daughter to him (father) and how people won’t protected by them and they’ll lose business, but if you stick around a minute you hear his rant about the hotel and how he feels like certain things are falling apart. Here and when they find out about Ghilotti in the next chapter, Salieri is furious, but it comes from his business sense. He is still concerned about the health of his organization, but it does foreshadow Salieri’s temper and ruthlessness when things don’t go his way. His behavior, especially when it comes to the hotel, indicates that he can be vengeful when the chips are down. Ultimately, this is still reinforcing the lie, but it allows us to see the cracks in it.
Here is when things start to get juicy and where Salieri chooses to cling to the truth. At the very beginning of part three, we get a long conversation with Frank. This is a meaty conversation, especially for the insight it gives into Salieri. Up until now, this kind of behavior has only been hinted at, never confirmed. We start off the next chapter with Frank mentioning that Salieri has been going over the books with him AGAIN. It’s a throwaway but becomes important later as it hints that Frank isn’t the person that botched that chapter’s job. His calm demeanor during the conversation is him still staying calm and business like but reflective. It is the opposite of the way someone would be expected to behave when they find out they’ve been betrayed. His contemplative nature and reflection on the dog, then calling his child self stupid, is him clinging to the truth. He’s saying, “I’m not that person anymore. I’ve grown.” Considering how Salieri (and even Tommy during the conversation with Norman) portray Morello as childish during conversations, establishing his maturity is important to Salieri. Tommy’s conversation with Frank has him talking about he is tired of waiting for Salieri to kill him, telling the player that if Salieri’s most trusted feels this way. The rest of part 3 is largely him continuing businesslike behavior (introducing Tommy to the safe cracker and the whole thing with Paulie and the whiskey deal), which is him trying to return to normal, like the whole thing with Frank never happened.
Then, the third intermezzo happens. So, a huge aspect of negative arcs is the fact that the character will have the opportunity to see the truth on multiple occasions and cling to their lie until the turning point occurs (which is different depending on the type of arc). Intermezzo 3 actually shows hints of it when we hear a very important line from Tommy: “And Salieri, he finally start talkin’ about gettin’ outta Morello’s shadow. Maybe buyin’ our own cops, our own politicians.” Salieri at this point, is continuing to act on the idea that he is better than Morello, but he’s moving himself to the point where he’ll be forced to see the truth. I won’t go further with this too much, but part four is just riddled with Salieri clinging to this idea that he’s better than Morello as time and time again things go wrong or they go right. His opportunities to see the truth come in the form of the violence he or his men inflict (in particular the occasion with Carlo) and the sheer amount of destruction that he orders. Note that the sheer violence of the war is staggering, and it starts because Salieri makes arguably a reckless move by putting a judge on the take without checking (at least checking well) if this person is on Morello’s take. Whether or not this would have happened with Frank, we wouldn’t know, but Salieri’s ambition starts one thing. Salieri might still not see the truth, but, if they couldn’t before, the player can. The biggest piece of foreshadowing in this part is the last line. “See you on the other side Marcu.”
The seeing the truth and rejecting it happens off screen. I’ve talked about what I think the turning point for Salieri and Tommy’s relationship is, and I feel like the rejection of the truth comes when Salieri finds out about Frank. In great contrast to all conceived previous behavior, Salieri has Frank and his entire family killed. During the first conversation with Frank, Salieri only specifies something should happen to Frank (and this is in contrast to the original game where he wanted to provide for the Collettis after Frank’s death). He has a moment where he could show mercy, leave Frank alone or just leave his family alone, and this is a direct hit to his lie, that he is better than Morello. At this point... Who does he have to be better than with Morello gone? He doesn’t have a person to compare himself to that makes him question his anger and he directs his wrath from there. Frank is a traitor, Morello is dead, Tommy is a traitor, Paulie is useless, and Sam is a soldier. He has no equal and no protégé. His lie is no longer that he is better than Morello. His new, worse like is that he is better than everyone, and this time it is not morally. He is in charge. Tommy talks about how Salieri acted like they “owned the whole damn town”, but it was really that he owned it. He didn’t have to bother with putting on airs after this. This is why the three stipulations dissolve. After election campaign, he loses some of the father to his men by deliberately leaving out information about the job and not worrying about the health of “his boys”. He’s bringing dope into the community, not worrying about his position as a pillar of it. The business sense stays only because it is his business that makes him better than other people. Even then, that goes a little bit out of the window when vengeance (because Sam never got information that Tommy and Paulie weren’t planning on cutting them in after the fact, either Sam or Salieri assumed) became more important and he decided to get rid of some of his most successful soldiers. We still see the truth in the end, that Ennio Salieri is exactly like Morello, but he was ultimately blind to it.
#long post#mafia remake#Mafia: Definitive Edition#mafia definitive edition#mafia de#mafia de fandom stuff#ennio salieri#analysis#I’m doing one for Vito after this when I have time
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hi! i'm the anon from the earlier starker request (78). maybe seventeen and eighteen? or just eighteen and eighteen, if you're more comfortable with it. i think ill pop up more often, so ill use an emoji. does 🌻 work? - 🌻 (possibly)
Hope you're still around Anon! Here's your request (from like four months ago...😅)
78. "Don't fucking touch what is not yours."
*****************************************************
Peachy
***************
Peter can take care of himself just fine. He's been doing it his entire grade school career, doubly so since he presented as an omega; he definitely doesn't need some knothead alpha to fight his battles for him.
But, oh man, Tony Stark is hot when he's angry.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Beck?"
And the alpha over Peter by his locker is an idiot, because he seems to interpret Tony’s nearly prowling approach as non-threatening.
Peter shivers involuntarily when Tony gets close; the alpha smells like petrichor and ozone and the tang of saltwater, a literal force of nature.
Beck snorts and doesn't put any distance between himself and Peter. “I don’t see your name on him, Stark. Get your own.”
And Tony must be near a rut, because Peter’s hardly spoken to the other teen outside of class, and Tony’s kind of an ass, but he wouldn’t just slam one of his teammates into the lockers with teeth-rattling force over some random omega...but against the lockers is where Beck ends up, the collar of his shirt twisted in Tony’s fists.
“He’s mine,” Tony snarls. “You get your own.”
The (somewhat redundant) warning growl that follows rumbles deep in the alpha’s chest, a sound that calls to something in Peter…
...which just serves to piss off the omega.
‘Mine’? Who the hell does he think he is?
Peter scowls, pushes off from where he’d been pinned. “Yeah...I’m just gonna go.”
He’s at the end of the hall, almost to the front doors, when he realizes Tony’s following him. There’s no sign of Beck, but it’s not that surprising; there aren’t a lot of guys who would push a fight with Tony.
(It’s not attractive, it’s not--it’s macho alpha crap, and it is never appealing, not even when Peter’s alone in bed...at night...with his inflatable knot. *cough* Never.)
“Let me drive you home.”
Peter rolls his eyes. “No thank you.”
The alpha just looks at him with exasperation that is definitely not warranted, and it makes Peter’s hackles rise.
“I’m fine, Tony. I don’t need a bodyguard.”
“You do when you smell like you’re about to roll over.”
Oh. Oh WOW.
Peter’s not sure what his face is doing, but when he looks at Tony, the alpha blanches and takes a step back.
“Shit, I’m sorry, that was--”
“That was some designationist bullshit, and I’d appreciate it if you’d leave me alone.”
With a last glare, Peter turns and stalks off towards the doors, pushes his way outside--
--to be faced with a torrential downpour.
The doors open and shut behind him, and Tony comes to stand beside him, his still apologetic (and a tiny bit smug) thunderstorm scent blending almost perfectly with the rain.
“...You sure you don’t want a ride? Not like that--ow, Jesus--”
***
Getting into Tony’s car was a mistake.
It smells amazing inside, a blend of clean leather and Tony and alpha. Peter's still irritated, but he loosens up, melting into the seat with a sigh he doesn’t mean to let out.
Tony smirks over at him. “Cozy?”
“...No,” Peter says, facing resolutely forward.
Tony doesn’t say anything else, just starts the car, but Peter can feel the alpha’s amusement.
He huffs quietly and lowers himself slightly in the seat. None of this should feel nice, none of it should feel so comforting or safe or--
“You wanna tell me where I’m going?”
Peter opens his eyes (hadn’t even realized he’d closed them), and sits up a little straighter, clears his throat, face heating. “Right. Address. You need that.”
He rattles it off and goes back to trying to ignore...well,Tony, but also the obvious warmth in his own face. His own...everywhere, actually. He’s warm. Overly warm.
Oh no. Maybe Tony wasn’t so far off, as crudely as he’d put it.
They’re about halfway to his house when Peter finally gives up, turns to ask Tony to shut off the heat (maybe it’ll make the scent less intense, everything smells like Tony but stronger; is it getting stronger?) but the words catch in his throat.
Tony’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel, his jaw tight, eyes a little brighter, wild.
“Are you...are you okay?” It’s another thing Peter wants to deny, isn’t sure why he asks, why he...fuck, why he wants to hear Tony say it. To hear him say anything. Why he wants to hear the bass notes of arousal that match the increase in Tony’s scent.
“Peachy,” Tony answers tightly, not looking over.
The shortness doesn’t matter; by the time they pull into the (thankfully empty) driveway, Peter's struggling with conflicting impulses to get as far from the alpha as possible or to just straddle him right there in the driver’s seat.
“Thank you, for, you know. The ride.”
Tony’s scent flares, the leather of the wheel creaking under his hands. “No problem.”
Getting out of the car is the next logical step, but Peter is glued to his seat (not literally, thank god; he can’t feel any slick yet, but he can tell it’s a near thing). The only way he’s getting out is--
No, nope. He’s not going to invite Tony inside, he’s not going to do that.
Swallowing, Peter rubs his palms down his thighs, uses the texture of the denim to ground himself. “Well, um. Yeah. Thanks. I’m just...bye.” He un-clicks his seatbelt and climbs out, trying to ignore the tug low in his belly insisting he get back into the cocoon of good-smell.
It’s better this way, obviously; he doesn’t actually know Tony, doesn’t actually like him. Just because the alpha’s hot...and an impressive rubgy player...and on Peter's level in all the advanced classes...doesn't mean he wants to spend a heat with him (a heat Peter wasn't even supposed to be having right now, what the heck is going on with his suppressants).
He's at the front door, fumbling with his keys, when he hears the car shut off. A door opens and closes with a bang, followed closely by the slap of sneakers pavement.
The infuriatingly intoxicating scent of thunderstorms thickens when the porch steps creak with Tony’s approach, and Peter already knows what's going to happen. Feels it with a terrifyingly right sense of inevitability.
Tony stops behind him, not touching, but close enough Peter can feel his warmth.
Peter doesn’t turn around. “I don’t...Did you need something?” he asks inanely, a little breathless.
“I...need you to tell me to leave.”
It’s not what Peter expected. If he’s being entirely honest, he’d been half hoping Tony would just shove him up against the door (or try, anyway); that he’d give Peter a reason to fight back, to shove him away, to deny the instincts pinging like electricity under his skin.
Peter swallows. “You can go.”
“Do you want me to?”
Fuck.
The key slides into the lock, finally, the click of the latch somehow audible even through the sound of the rain pattering on the overhang above them.
“No.”
**
The blend of their scents, of Tony’s stormy, feral arousal and the sweetness of Peter’s slick, is delicious--filthy and thick and everywhere, and Peter knows he’s going to have the scent in his sheets, deep in his mattress, in his skin, for days, maybe weeks.
But, the memories...those are going to be seared in his brain for the rest of his life, probably.
He rocks his hips forward, groaning. “You feel so good--so tight, god--”
Tony just stares up at him, whines around the soaked boxer briefs crammed in his mouth. He looks gorgeous like this, flushed, eyes hooded and dark, gripping Peter’s headboard as tightly as he had the steering wheel, earlier.
When they’d first stepped inside, Peter had been surprised. Tony had kept his hands to himself, followed Peter up to his bedroom without comment, without pushing. The only thing that gave away Tony’s understanding of the situation was his weirdly polite request that Peter give him a quick tour of the kitchen, so he’d know where to go to get Peter food and water, later.
It didn’t jibe with the alpha posturing at school, and not with the smug boldness that is Tony. Did not compute.
Tony had obviously been aroused, his very much alpha-sized cock straining obscenely in his jeans, but he’d just stood there when the got to Peter’s room, shifting restlessly foot to foot, just...waiting, until Peter had finally asked if Tony really wanted this, why he wasn’t doing anything.
The characteristic smirk had made an appearance, weighed down just a little by nerves, and then Tony had asked Peter to tell him what to do.
Peter had definitely been amenable to that request. And to every one that led them to this moment, to Tony on his back on Peter’s bed, flushed olive skin against the navy blue of Peter’s sheets.
It’s beautiful. It’s breathtaking and amazing and so many other things. He can’t believe he gets to do this, that Tony’s letting him inside, in more ways than one. It’s satisfying and weirdly humbling, and Peter’s going to have to process everything later, but right now...right now, it feels good.
When one of Tony’s hands leaves the headboard, Peter feels a rush of anticipation. “Ah ah, no,” he says, smacks it away before it can touch the erection Peter’s been deliberately neglecting.
Tony makes a helpless apologetic sound through his mouthful, snapping up to grab the headboard again, and Peter shivers, fucks into the alpha’s tight heat a little harder, a little faster, a reward and a punishment.
He won’t be able to maintain this much longer; it’s early enough in his heat that he’s not yet reduced to a single-minded mess of near-delirious want, but Peter thinks he has just enough time to say what he’s been thinking about since he’d been given permission to handle Tony this way.
Curling forward, he leans in to nip and suck at Tony’s chest and collarbones, Tony’s small huffing breaths and pleading sounds in response sending showers of sparks low in Peter’s spine, through his own hot, needy insides.
“You know better than that,” Peter admonishes, voice a little unsteady. “Or, I thought you did.” He sits back, trails his hands down Tony’s chest, his stomach. “You seemed pretty clear on it with Beck.”
Peter shivers, smirking when Tony glares, growling; he can feel the vibrations where they’re connected, and he suddenly very much gets the appeal of angry sex. But he can’t get distracted.
“Shh, Alpha,” he soothes, a little mocking. Tony doesn’t seem to mind, going by the precum that drips anew. “I just thought you understood the rules.”
Peter pulls out carefully, heedless of Tony’s noise of complaint, shushes him as he crawls forward until he’s straddling Tony’s hips.
Tony’s hazy, questioning look vanishes with an almost pained groan when Peter wraps a hand around the base of his cock (tries; his fingers barely touch, fuck) and squeezes, right where the alpha’s knot is going to expand, and stands him up.
“Don’t touch...what doesn’t belong to you,” Peter manages breathlessly, “And this is mine.”
The last word ends on more of a moan than anything syllabic as Peter sinks down--full, full, so fucking full, fuck--and he has to take a second to adjust to the girth, to his...fuck, his first time with an alpha.
Everything’s starting to get hazy and euphoric, now, heralding the point of Peter’s heat where he’ll cease to notice almost anything besides whatever’s pumping inside him, filling him up. But he’s still clear enough to feel a burst of appreciative affection for the way Tony’s trembling with the effort to not move, to not just buck up into Peter’s heat.
Peter reaches out and pulls the underwear from Tony’s mouth, tosses them somewhere off the side of the bed. Leaning down, he claims Tony’s mouth in a deep, sloppy kiss, moaning at the sensation from just a minor change in angle.
When he pulls back, the taste of Tony and himself flooding his senses, he grins.
“Now let go of that headboard and show me who you belong to.”
************************
Everything Tag List: @silkystark, @hoeforthegays, @the-amazing-spidertwink, @starkeroverlord, @smidnite, @cagestark
Again, if anyone wants to be on the Everything Tag list, or wants to be taken off, please let me know!
#starker#tony stark x peter parker#ironspider#starkerflowers fic#omega!peter#alpha!tony#a/b/o dynamics#a/b/o#smut#nff#d/s
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Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)
Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with
Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)
I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute
Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing
so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it
Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.
Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap
I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize
I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!
If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets
OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds
Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character
I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them
OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work
Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.
Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.
The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol
(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)
Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me
sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)
But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.
I really love MTC guys
Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)
the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining
Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that
kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)
FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.
Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.
the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.
Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.
Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide
Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao
I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here
The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice
I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.
Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.
:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week
#hypnosis mic#hypmic#hypnosis mic rhyme anima#hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers#hypmic spoilers#my post
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Making Connections
The familiar, unpleasant sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The world around you contracting then expanding all in a single moment. Dahl’renn avoided travelling by portal whenever, but every now and then he would make an exception. In this case, there wasn’t much of a choice. The elven sailor stepped away from the exit portal, nodding at the acolyte of the Ebon Blade which was maintaining it, and gave himself a quick once-over. No fingers or toes missing. Everything in its place.
Good, he thought to himself. Despite the fact that portals have been proven to be incredibly safe, you do hear tales every now and then of some poor traveler leaving a left foot behind when stepping through one.
Having collected himself, Dahl adjusted his feathered cap and looked up at a true sight to behold: Oribos, the Eternal, Undying City. A shiver ran up the elf’s spine. He had seen many impressive, wondrous things in his travels, but this was something else. Dalaran was a city that floated above the ground. This city just existed in space; a realm that seemed to expand forever, interrupted only by trailing lines of anima leading into stone conduits. Under normal circumstances, Dahl would have taken the time to walk around the entire outer perimeter, but he had an appointment to keep.
As Dahl walked towards the entrance of the city, he couldn’t help but take in the sheer size of the ancient stone structure. To think that every soul that had lived and died had passed through this place to be sent to their deserved afterlives… Perhaps... No. Now was not a time for such thoughts. He was here for a specific purpose, and if the tales were true, he did not want to keep his contact waiting. Dahl approached a giant armoured humanoid, standing guard with glaive in hand, removing his hat and putting on his friendliest smile.
“Ah, excuse me? Do you think you could point me in the direction of the Hall of Curiosities?” Dahl asked. The Attendant looked down at the elf, a voice emanating from its helmet. “Yes, mortal. Here to see what the Brokers have brought to our city?”
“Something like that,” Dahl replied.
The Attendant let out a low rumble, which could only be interpreted as a tired sigh. “Pass through this archway to the Ring of Fates,” it boomed. “Make your way clockwise around the central ring until you come to another archway with a scale carved at the top. That is where the Hall of Curiosities is located.”
Dahl looked towards his destination, then back at the Attendant, nodding in appreciation. “Thank you very much!” The elf placed his cap back on his head and walked briskly towards the Ring of Fates, the blue light from the sconces on the hallway walls illuminating the way.
If the outside of Oribos was impressive, then the inside was beyond belief. The city was hustling and bustling with folks from all walks of life. Besides the easily-recognizable races from Azeroth, there were blue-skinned human-looking people, a wide variety of Undead (and not the usually Forsaken kind), grey-skinned ... San’layn? They almost seemed to glide along the ground as they made their way. Robed and hooded figures that actually -were- floating. Winged sprites. Tiny ... owls with legs? Dahl could barely process what he was seeing. Still, not to be deterred from his goal, he continued with purpose towards the archway with the glowing scales above it.
Making his way inside he was greeted with the sight of yet another race of ... people? They struck him more as constructs than living, yet they moved about quite naturally. Their heads were not heads at all, but flickering flames behind gilded masks. Still, voices could be heard emanating from these figures. Had he not known better, Dahl would have thought these must be some sort of Ethereals. No, these were definitely them. The Brokers. “Well, no use dawdling around,” he whispered to himself, walking forward.
The Hall itself certainly lived up to its name. Filling up every nook and cranny were all manner of containers and carts, most housing wares from who knows where. A couple of items looked familiar. Some rare creatures from Azeroth, a couple of gizmos that seemed to be of Gnomish design. Others, he could only guess their origin. In truth, the whole place reminded him of the bustling markets of Boralus only more otherworldly.
Dahl’renn made his way towards the closest Broker in a nearby bunch. The Brokers were gathered around a cart, and (from what Dahl could make out) gazing upon some newly-gotten wares, talking through proposed prices and supply. “Excuse me! Ah... Apologies. I’m meant to meet someone here in the Hall? I have an appointment with a...” He pulls out a scrap of paper with a name written upon it. “Ta’zela. Are they available?”
One of the Brokers spoke up. “I am Ta’zela. A pleasure to meet you, Dahl’renn? Did I pronounce that right? You mortals have such curious names.” The figure addressing him looked near identical to the rest, save for a few embellishments around the belt and sleeves of her outfit.
“Aye, you did,” Dahl replied. “Seems you’ve acquired a knack for such names in the short time that our realms have been connected.
“Oh, you misunderstand,” Ta’zela corrected. “We are not of the Shadowlands. Merely passing through to provide service to others, such as yourself. Come, let us find a place to sit down and discuss matters. In private.”
Dahl nodded as Ta’zela led him through the hall, where more and more goods were revealed to him. “It seems you and yours have been quite busy,” Dahl chirped. “Has Azeroth proven to be of significant interest to the Brokers?”
“Oh, indeed! We find your world to be most interesting. Cartel Ta has been ever so pleased at such an opportunity, and we look forward to continuing this relationship.”
A few moments later they arrived in a small, relatively empty area, dotted with tables, chairs; clearly some sort of meeting space. Ta’zela pulled out a chair for Dahl and then herself, taking a seat and leaning in.
“Now that we are away from curious ears, I hear that you have some business with Cartel Ta that you wish to pursue. Yes?” If Brokers had faces, Ta’zela would be smiling with glee. Her words had a venomous charm to them.
Dahl let out a measured breath. He had come this far, after all. “Aye, you heard right. I think I may have something for you that will prove to be mutually beneficial. A rising tide lifts all boats, after all.” Oh how he had missed this. The game had begun, and the players were at the ready.
“Oh, wonderful. Wonderful!” Ta’zela clapped her hands together. “Please, Dahl’renn, do continue...”
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THE AARONS 2019 - Best TV Episode
A lot of streaming services are switching over to a more traditional weekly release of episodes instead of dumping a whole season all at once. It may be because they, like me, want to highlight the unique achievements of singular episodes. It could also be that they don’t want people, like me, signing up for free trials to binge watch one show and then cancelling before they are billed anything... Here are the Aarons for Best TV Episode:
#10. “Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun” (Riverdale, Season 3, Episode 16)
Chapter Fifty-One of Riverdale is quite aptly named. With a talented young cast on hand, Riverdale often indulges in music numbers, but their full-blown musical episodes still manage to stand out. Incorporating songs from the Broadway adaptation of Heathers, Riverdale uses the famous high-school satire as a meta-criticism of its own ever-growing ridiculousness. The characters give a fervent lament of their inability to be just regular high school students, but, in the end, are forced to confront their status as mere players on a stage and puppets of a ravenous following. Riverdale is often quite fun; how much more can it do for our amusement?
#9. “Striking Vipers” (Black Mirror, Season 5, Episode 1)
Though it made its name in pessimistic twist of fortune, Black Mirror has been best when indulging in affectionate tales. In its fifth season premiere, what begins as two friends testing out a near-future fighting video game swiftly and surprisingly switches gears into a sweet story of longing and vulnerability. The episode chooses not to map its relationship onto any existing conceptions of sexuality and gender, suggesting ways in which they may continue to evolve alongside new technology. Though there are hints on darkness on its edges, the episode is one of the heart-warming tales that have always been the series’ most striking.
#8. “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” (Game of Thrones, Season 8, Episode 2)
The second episode of Game of Thrones’ final season was the calm before the storm in more ways than realized at the time. As its characters brace for their imminent battle against an undead horde with a night of quiet companionship, the show produced its last great moments before being swallowed by backlash to its rushed and illogical ending. Unlike the show after that point, the episode does right by its characters, building off their storied histories and delivering earned and endearing pay-offs to several relationships. “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” forges the last vestige of good in its world; it would have been wise to say ‘good night’ afterward.
#7. “The Trial” (What We Do in The Shadows, Season 1, Episode 7)
The What We Do in The Shadows franchise has conjured a lot of comedy from the long legacy of vampire tropes; in the seventh episode of the new TV iteration, it put the spotlight on the various actors who made up that legacy. As our regular characters arrive for their criminal trial, the show lines up an impressive amount of guest stars, including, but not limited to, Tilda Swinton, Evan Rachel Wood, Wesley Snipes, and the trio from the original What We Do in The Shadows movie. The show doesn’t just use these stars to hang upside down on its laurels though; it’s plump with jokes certain to stir the blood. It’s a very large gathering of vampires, and it doesn’t suck one bit.
#6. “Replay” (The Twilight Zone, Season 1, Episode 3)
Jordan Peele was a promising voice to head up the new incarnation of The Twilight Zone, but the insightful, livid spark of his film projects seemed to get lost along the way for most of the season. “Replay”, though, was one that managed to replicate it. Like the best of the franchise, the situations are supernormal, but the anxieties are very real: a mother discovers a video camera that can rewind time, but still finds herself unable to protect her son from a prejudiced cop hunting them down. The fear of powerlessness is all too palpable; though a fantastic episode that’s worth a watch, it would be hard to sit through again.
#5. “Danny Patrol” (Doom Patrol, Season 1, Episode 8)
The company’s new streaming service has likely doomed Legends of Tomorrow from ever being able to reclaim its title as weirdest DC television series ever. Taking inspiration from writer Grant Morrison’s run in the comics, Doom Patrol is pure absurdity. In episode 8, the team’s quest to find their kidnapped leader brings them into the path of Danny, a sentient genderqueer teleporting street (Yes, like the streets you drive on. This one has thoughts and feelings and can teleport). This odd premise paves the way for the show to reemphasize its core message of learning to love one’s self. The episode most affecting moment is its big karaoke celebration of this idea from Matt Bomer’s Negative Man; the streets are alive with the sound of music.
#4. “A Quick One, While He’s Away” (BoJack Horseman, Season 6, Episode 8)
The first half of BoJack Horseman’s final season spent a lot of time saddling up its characters to ride off into the sunset… and one episode indicating they won’t get off that easy. The show has frequently experimented with new storytelling tactics, but it has never felt as purposeful as this one, which focuses exclusively on three ancillary characters from the show’s run. The show effortless transplants its engrossing conflicts and noted animal puns to the new trio, but the tragedy at play is knowing, without it being explicitly stated, that we are witnessing BoJack’s worst actions still reverberating in the lives of others. As the show prepares its definitive statement on the series-long question of whether BoJack can find happiness, the toughest answer to acknowledge is that we’ve been backing the wrong horse.
#3. “407 Proxy Authentication Required” (Mr. Robot, Season 4, Episode 7)
While its long-gestating final confrontation against the manipulators of the world economy wouldn’t be for another handful of episodes, “407 Proxy Authentication Required” was the one that finally brought balance to the world of Mr. Robot. Pairing down its characters and sets and stabilizing the series’ deliberately off-kilter cinematography, the episode unfolds as an intimate five act play, slowly preparing Elliot and the audience for a heart-wrenching revelation. It’s a brutal, but ultimately cathartic bit of television, and the finest hour the show has produced. The series rips all its long-standing proxies away, leaving the viewer no choice but to engage with its raw pain and hope for healing.
#2. “I’m In Love” (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Season 4, Episode 17)
After an improbable four season run, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend gave its final bow in 2019, but the show had one last dramatic turn before exiting stage left for good. Having held herself responsible for her actions and addressed her underlying issues, the series finale, in which she is torn between three equally meaningful romantic interests, sees Rebecca Bunch thoroughly and healthily in love. In its final twist, the episode’s title proves as much of a misnomer as the series’ has been all along. Subversive, stirring, and sidesplitting to its very last breath, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s impeccable eleven o’clock number sent the series off on a high note.
AND THE BEST TV EPISODE OF 2019 IS...
#1. “This Extraordinary Being” (Watchmen, Season 1, Episode 6)
Masks as a method to hide trauma was a prominent theme of the Watchmen comic; the TV show sequel added a few interesting wrinkles to the idea. In its boldest reinvention of the source material, the episode presents an interpretive origin story of the mysterious comic character Hooded Justice through the eyes of his descendant, laying bare the show’s anxieties of inter-generational trauma. Just as the comic toyed with the composition of its medium, the episode also engages with its own make-up. It illustrates the visual arts’ power to either further the erasure or promote the healing of such lingering pain. As a singular piece of television, comprised as it is with standout guest actors and impressive technical qualities, it’s a great use of the artform; placed within the context of its historic inspirations on- and off- the page, it’s something truly extraordinary.
NEXT UP: THE 2019 AARON FOR BEST TV PERFORMANCE!
#tv#TheAarons2019#TheAarons#TheAaronsTV#best of#best of 2019#riverdale#black mirror#game of thrones#what we do in the shadows#the twilight zone#doom patrol#bojack horseman#mr robot#crazy ex girlfriend#watchmen
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Review: Lloyd the Monkey 2
Back before TSSZ News imploded, I would often do write-ups for many of the games at the Sonic Amateur Games Expo (SAGE). SAGE is an annual online expo that I started all the way back in September of 2000. I personally ran SAGE for over a year, and remained deeply hands on for at least another two years as it continued to grow. The main focus of SAGE was primarily to showcase fangames, in particular Sonic fangames, but the event never limited itself to any one type of game. It's never been uncommon to see original games appear in the lineup -- especially now, given the modern indie scene.
One such original game was Lloyd the Monkey, a bit of a strange game, written in Javascript of all things and run through a webpage. That by itself was notable enough to stand out from most of the games at SAGE, but Lloyd was also a completely original product created by someone who possibly seemed to be young and new to game development. Making games is no easy feat, especially when they’re written in Javascript and you’re doing tons of original artwork yourself. Taken as that whole, the game impressed me, even if it was more than a little rough around the edges.
Now we have Lloyd the Monkey 2, written in Unity. The developer, Noah Meyer, sent me a Steam key in order to review the game. Up top, I just want to say how I think it’s kind of brave to go all the way in putting the game on Steam and everything. It felt like just a few years ago, newer indie developers sort of had to work up to releasing their game on Steam, usually getting a few releases under their belt first. People view games differently when they’re asked to pay for them, and critics may not be so willing to let circumstances influence their review. It can be a harsh world out there for a beginner.
Lloyd 2 is a much bigger, more ambitious game than the first. Whereas the original Lloyd didn’t even have sound effects, Lloyd 2 introduces voiced cutscenes, some of which are full-on animated cinematics. Quality is about what you would expect -- I would assume the developer sought out friends and acquaintances to voice characters in Lloyd 2, leading to wildly varying audio quality due to differences in recording hardware. Lloyd himself sounds fine, but some of the other characters are a bit quiet, while others have clear background noise. Nothing I heard was unlistenable, however.
The story is also a little hard to follow. Not much is done to refresh our memories as to who anyone is or what’s going on, we’re just kind of thrown into the middle of things and turned loose. On one hand, it’s nice that the story doesn’t slow the pace of the gameplay down too much. On the other, you’re given a map screen with different objectives to clear but there’s very little context as to what you’re doing or why. At one point I made my way to the end of a Power Plant level only to confront what appeared to be an evil monkey. Despite a whole cutscene involving a conversation between four or five different people, this evil monkey never seemed to say a single word. He just stood there in total silence with a sinister smile. Then I killed him.
I suppose maybe I missed something, however. With greater ambitions comes a number of unfortunate bugs in Lloyd 2, one of which happened not long after our monkey and his crew landed on planet Grecia. I entered what appeared to be a castle to talk to the Queen, but I think the game expected me to take a lower route, where I was apparently meant to overhear the Queen making secret preparations before my arrival. Instead, I took the direct route straight to her chambers, and triggered the cutscene with Lloyd standing in front of her while ominous music played, even though the camera was still clearly focused on the next floor down. I apparently still had some amount of control, because midway through her dialog I touched a teleporter that sent me to the game’s map screen before she was done talking. If that cutscene was meant to give context to what I was doing, I didn’t get a chance to see it.
That was one of the more harmless bugs in my time spent playing Lloyd 2. Harder to ignore was the fact that, within the first 30 seconds of getting control, I soft locked the game. Lloyd 2 opens with a short prologue section where you play as a man with black hair. If you decide to ignore the obvious and go left instead of right, you quickly run out of solid level tiles and begin falling indefinitely. Later areas feature invisible walls presumably to prevent this exact scenario, but for whatever reason they weren’t implemented in the prologue.
For the most part, Lloyd 2 seems to be a co-op game. Many levels see Lloyd teamed up with an alien princess named Lura, with gameplay vaguely reminiscent of Mega Man X crossed with the tag mechanic from Sonic Mania’s Encore Mode. At the touch of a button, you can switch between the Swordsman Lloyd and the more projectile-based Lura… assuming your partner is still alive, I guess. While playing alone, your partner is controlled by artificial intelligence, but it’s incredibly basic and prone to accidentally committing suicide. That wouldn’t be such a big deal (considering Tails in Sonic 2 never acted in self-preservation either), but once your partner dies, they stay dead. Your only option to bring them back is to either restart the stage or hope another cutscene triggers, since they’ll magically spring back to life in order to say their dialog (though, again, usually only seconds before they fall back into the next death pit).
This might not be much of a problem, depending on your viewpoint. There’s not much incentive to switch between Lloyd and Lura, so once you pick whoever you think works the best, chances are, you’ll just stick with them. You do unlock special team-up attacks after beating each boss, but this just reinforces the idea that Lloyd the Monkey 2 is meant to be experienced with another person holding a second controller, as most of the team-up attacks require both characters to do something specific that the single player artificial intelligence usually can’t interpret. Regardless, the team-up attacks never seem strictly necessary to progress, so they can be safely ignored if you’re playing solo.
I understand this is a pretty negative review I’ve written here. Lloyd the Monkey 2 aims high and tries to the best of its ability to get there. I assume it was a struggle to get even this far. Making games is hard work, and like any skill, takes practice to get good at. Just because this is Lloyd the Monkey 2 doesn’t mean Noah Meyer, its developer, is automatically an expert. I'm sure he's doing his best, and, quality aside, this game has a lot of heart put into it. This isn’t something cheap, quick, or lazy. It’s really, genuinely trying, and that matters.
I’ve said a few times here and there that I see pieces of myself in the releases of Lloyd the Monkey, and I still see them here. I remember, for an early SAGE event, I was working on a fangame project of mine called The Fated Hour. I was probably already a year or two or maybe even three deep in the game by now, and after a lot of hyping up the community, this was their first chance to play the game. I spent months and months coding this iteration of my engine, and by my standards back then, it seemed like bleeding edge technology. I felt like I was going to blow everyone's minds.
It was a mess. Few were impressed. Even worse, the game straight up didn’t even run correctly for some people. What followed was multiple patches, and even rebuilding some entire areas from scratch. My ambitions got the better of me and I unintentionally cut corners -- not because I was trying to cheap out on doing proper development, but just because I simply didn’t know any better. I may have done the best I knew how to do, but I was running faster than my body could keep up with and I stumbled.
When I see things like the missing invisible walls in the prologue, or how easily partner characters commit suicide by accident, I think back to that demo for The Fated Hour, and how I've been in this exact place myself. There’s even a side quest in Lloyd 2 where you have to track a floating girl as she drifts through a level -- there was a nearly identical set piece in The Fated Hour, where you were chasing a robot. It’s a very strange feeling to see something like that and think, “I’ve been here before.” Like looking through a window at a younger version of yourself.
It’s true that I stumbled, but I didn’t let that stop me. I learned by doing. I kept going. Three years later, a game of mine was featured on TV, leading to more than a million downloads. The mistakes of past projects did not weigh me down and I soldiered onwards, newfound knowledge in hand.
So where does that leave us with Lloyd the Monkey 2, then. Well, it's not exactly a game to compete with Super Mario Odyssey, but given the circumstances in which it was created, I don't think that's necessarily the point. As a learning experience clearly made for the fun of its own creation, I think it's a success. And who knows what awaits in the years to come?
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Notes for The Vanishing Prince, Chapter 4
It’s Chapter Four, hurray! This one turned out a little differently than I expected… Mostly because the scene at Rakuzan ended up being so long. But I decided to keep it as is, because I just love Rakuzan’s team SO MUCH. <3
So as promised, this was Rakuzan’s turn to have a cameo (and by cameo I mean a super long scene, with loads of love for the Uncrowned Kings and especially Reo).
Also, I ended up including screenshots from the anime in this post! So if you’re interested in a basic breakdown of my theory about why scenes like this one prove that psychic phenomena were included in the show from the beginning:
Well read on, friend. BECAUSE OH DO I HAVE THEORIES ABOUT THAT.
(Cut for stuff about Rakuzan, a little about why I love the Uncrowned Kings so much, even more love for Reo, a brief explanation of some of the supernatural/psychic references, and a seriously epic yudofu restaurant because tofu is Akashi’s first love, obviously)
On Rakuzan’s Campus
It was fun to try to figure out what Rakuzan as a school would be like… I’ve had a headcanon for a while that each member of the Generation of Miracles chose a high school (and a team) that generally reflected their personality and priorities. So my version of Rakuzan has a lot of Akashi-esque qualities to it. XD
Canonically, Rakuzan is supposed to be a prestigious school that excels in multiple areas. That’s one reason why I included OCs in this chapter, to show that Akashi is far from being the only overachiever at his school. Which, as Furihata realizes, makes his status at the school that much more impressive! (Plus I like to fill out different areas of characters’ lives that we don’t get to see in canon, sometimes by coming up with new characters… I try not to overdo it too much, though, because I know it might only be interesting to me? //laughs)
As a side note, the Rakuzan students are shown preparing for their school’s cultural festival, which is a common event in Japanese schools, and pops up in anime a lot. It frequently involves each class and/or club designing a different booth or event for the festival (like selling food, putting on a play, etc). I’ve read a few series where the festival occurs in late summer to early fall. I don’t know if that’s the typical time of year or not, but that’s why I included the student council working over their vacation to prepare! From what I understand, it’s not uncommon for Japanese students who are really involved in extracurricular activities to continue participating in them over summer vacation (like sports practices, for example).
I Just Really Love The Uncrowned Kings, Okay?
Hopefully I wasn’t the only one looking forward to seeing how Furihata would get along with Rakuzan’s three Uncrowned Kings! I find their canon relationship with Akashi really fascinating, so I wanted to explore some of the implications of it in this chapter. (And then it went on WAYYY longer than I expected. But I was just having too much fun and too many feelings to stop? XD;)
For me, one of the most interesting questions about Rakuzan in KnB is why the other players elected Akashi as captain in his first year… I have a lot of headcanons about it (and a one-shot fic that I started ages ago, that I still really want to finish!). It’s especially interesting because the Uncrowned Kings had a history of competing against the Generation of Miracles in junior high.
So in this chapter, I ended up hinting at some of my theories about why the Kings in particular would decide to make Akashi (and specifically Bokushi!) their leader. I also implied that Akashi wasn’t the only member of Rakuzan who was forced to reevaluate his priorities because of the events of the Winter Cup. (To me this is portrayed really well in the last few episodes, through Reo’s reactions especially.)
Basically, one of the reasons I love Rakuzan so much is because I think of all of them as hyper-competitive people who originally decided to go after victory and focus on dominating the competition, at the cost of everything else… And then were forced to face the consequences of that decision, and realize it was ultimately unfulfilling, at least in part because they came to genuinely value the bonds they’d formed as a team. <3 So I tried to show this in how they explained the situation to Furihata.
… I’m also kind of surprised that I managed to fit in references to all five of the Kings in this chapter? I did not expect that. (And I definitely did not expect how Kiyoshi and Hanamiya would come up in the conversation. //laughs)
Also, I do headcanon Reo as wearing makeup sometimes! I just feel like he would be amazing at it, honestly. (Or maybe I’ve just spent too much time watching beauty gurus on YouTube or something, lol.) In any case, I’m SO HERE for Reo in general… Especially Reo the Love and Sexuality Guru, finally telling it like it really is? //laughs (Oh my god I worked SO MANY self-indulgent headcanons into that silly conversation… Though interestingly enough, Reo flirting with Takao is from some of the anime outtake/bonus scenes. XD So I didn’t make that part up, at least!)
I should probably also mention that some of Furihata’s assumptions/uncertainty about Reo’s identity are related to Japanese culture… In KnB, Reo is depicted as the type of person who would probably be thought of as an “okama,” which usually refers to a gay man who’s also very feminine in their gender expression. (It can also refer to a drag queen, for example.) I think the term was used in the KnB manga, but I wasn’t able to verify that? (And I should also mention that the term itself can be offensive or positive/reclaimed, depending on who uses it.) So gender and sexuality are distinct aspects of a person, but Reo’s choice of self-expression and honorifics, at least to someone who is Japanese, would tend to imply certain things about both. I tried to make that as apparent in the scene as I could, without going into the cultural concept behind it?
(Also a special shout-out to anyone who figured out why Reo asked Furi his date of birth, and why Furi’s answer intrigued him… Because OH HOW I COULD RAMBLE ON AND ON ABOUT THAT.)
On Empaths, Mediums, Clair Senses, and Auras
So for those of you who wanted to see more supernatural stuff in this fic, I really hope you enjoyed Reo’s little conversation with Furi! (I’ve been looking forward to these two finally interacting for SO LONG. I’ve had a million headcanons about them, ever since I wrote that one chapter of Giving Chocolate ages ago… I even hinted at it in several of my other fics, mostly the Christmas ones. XD)
I won’t go into a super-detailed explanation of supernatural abilities here, since the terms I used aren’t culturally specific to Japan, and are pretty easy to research. But since I see Reo as someone who likes to use knowledge from lots of different modalities of the supernatural (like tarot divination, for example), I figured that I would give a quick overview of some of the stuff he mentioned.
An empath is basically someone who is supposed to be able to sense supernatural “energy” in their environment. The idea is that things like a person’s mental health and emotions manifest as energy—in their aura, for example—and empaths can sense this energy and even absorb some of it. (Sometimes to the point that it’s difficult for them to tell the difference between their own feelings and someone else’s.) Empaths can get very overwhelmed and anxious around crowds of people—or a specific person who is emotionally intense or even toxic—for the same reason. Basically, an empath is naturally affected by outside energy, and tends to let that energy in, more than most people. Even though they themselves may not realize it.
A medium, on the other hand, is someone who can connect with spirits, like those of people who have passed on. (I didn’t mention the term in the chapter, but seeing ghosts could potentially fall under this category.) The ability to do this is believed to manifest in a lot of different ways. Some of the possible ways are sometimes called “clair senses.”
“Clair senses” refer to different types of psychic/supernatural perception. The most common term is clairvoyance, which is being able to “see” supernatural phenomena. (From what I understand, it can be literal seeing, or more of a “in your mind’s eye” type of thing.) There are other types of clair senses too, like clairaudience (hearing supernatural things, like a spirit’s voice), and claircognizance (knowing something supernatural, kind of like having a “hunch”).
And finally, an aura is a form of supernatural energy (or light!) that surrounds a person. Some people think it reveals everything from your overall health to your current emotions. (I’ve always been kind of fascinated with the concept, and I even had my aura read for fun once. //laughs) In Chapter Four, we find out that while Akashi’s aura is more or less a single color (red), Furihata’s aura has multiple colors. Believers in auras often claim that the appearance and colors of a person’s aura can tell you a lot about them, and what they’re going through.
So it might seem like a stretch, to be including this stuff in a fic about a basketball anime… But weirdly enough, the canon of Kuroko no Basuke has a lot of intriguing moments that could be interpreted as referring to stuff like auras and clair senses? I could probably ramble on about my theories on this for FOREVER, so instead I’ll just leave a couple of screenshots here:
(Subtitles/translation courtesy of Crunchyroll)
… Yeah. I definitely did not come up with the idea to include this stuff on my own. XD (You can interpret these moments as symbolic too… But I feel like the story actually makes more sense if it’s literal, at least on some level? //laughs)
(Especially since that’s not even counting all the aura-like visuals in the show. And the weird eye stuff. And characters who can apparently predict the future in various ways. AND THE TRIPPY DOOR VISIONS AT THE END. SERIOUSLY DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE DOOR VISIONS. Anyway.)
On Platform Dining in Kyoto
I might talk about this in more detail for an upcoming chapter, but yes, the part about dining on platforms in Kyoto in the summer is a real thing! You can find a general overview about it here.
Basically, since it gets so hot and humid in the valley where Kyoto is, some of the restaurants have a tradition of putting up special wooden platforms over the river and serving their customers on them. It’s called “kawayuka” dining when it’s done over the Kamogawa river, inside the city. (An area outside Kyoto called Kibune also participates in the tradition, where this style of dining is called “kawadoko.”)
On the Yudofu Restaurant
Finally, in the longstanding tradition of me doing way too much research about the places in my fics, I did indeed pick out a real place for Akashi’s favorite restaurant!
First off, I should probably mention that yudofu isn’t just Akashi’s favorite food. It’s also one of the most famous regional dishes in Kyoto. (Maybe THE most famous!) Kyoto has a ton of restaurants that specialize in making high-quality tofu, so a boiled tofu dish like yudofu is extremely popular, both with locals and tourists. Yudofu itself was also created in Kyoto, because the monks working in the temples needed vegetarian dishes for their Buddhist diet.
Yudofu is thought to have originated in the area around Nanzenji temple. That being the case, I wanted to choose one of the most traditional, famous restaurants there to be Akashi’s favorite. I had a couple of choices, like this restaurant, which is one of the oldest restaurants in Japan. But in the end, I chose a place called Nanzenji Junsei because the atmosphere of the garden, the ability to reserve a private dining room, and the elaborate set meals all struck me as something Akashi and his family would appreciate. (Plus it seems to be highly rated as well as famous.) You can learn about the history of the restaurant, and see tons of pictures of the buildings, garden, and the food on the absolutely gorgeous official website here.
(Yeah. I want to go there. SO BAD. You can also see more pictures of the restaurant in the TripAdvisor reviews, including more shots of the private dining rooms.)
And while I haven’t been lucky enough to try it in Kyoto, I have made yudofu before! It’s an ultra simple dish that relies on the highest possible quality ingredients. So it’s definitely an appropriate choice for Akashi. (That being said, it does amuse me that his favorite food is basically just, well, tofu cooked in water… Like what teenage guy would say that was his top favorite food EVER? Oh, Akashi. You are such a Kyoto boy. XD)
On a side note, if you want an idea of how old some of the restaurants in Kyoto really are, I thought this article of the top ten oldest restaurants in Japan was interesting! Kyoto still has restaurants in operation that date all the way back to the middle ages.
The city’s culinary fame also inspired a longtime headcanon of mine that the Rakuzan players initially bonded over restaurant hopping… So that’s why that keeps popping up in my fics? //laughs Well, that, and this screenshot from one of the third season endings that literally shows them eating together in a place that looks like a Kibune kawadoko restaurant, and wearing yukata no less:
(Oh Mayu, I miss you, why did you have to graduate before this fic takes place? XD)
(And seriously don’t get me started on the shots of each team from that ending, they’re all adorable with great little geographical/cultural references AND I CAN’T)
Well, that’s it for my notes! I have a draft of the next chapter completed, and while my goal is to work ahead in the story first, I hope to be posting it very soon. (I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say… IT’S A TRIP.) I’ll also be sharing my Pinterest board for the fic then, so if you enjoyed the ones for Storming the Castle, that’s coming up!
#long post#really long post#vanishing prince#the vanishing prince#kat writes fanfic#knb fic#kat writes about basketball dorks#kat writes about ADORABLE BOYS AND THEIR ADORABLE FRIENDS HELP ME#I want to go restaurant hopping with Rakuzan XD#actually I just really want to try yudofu in Kyoto#also can I just say I was a mess just from rewatching the few episodes to get those screenshots#I STILL LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH#THE EPISODES ARE SO GOOD#I FORGET HOW GOOD THEY ARE SOMETIMES#anyway bless any of you who actually read this#good lord will I ever shut up about these basketball kids#the answer is probably no
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Ranking The Page Classpects
I'm going to do my best to rank all the page classpects, from best to worst. Fair warning: most of these classpects are pretty bad. When making this list, I sorted out the bad from the awful and started putting the worst ones on and work my way up. If a classpect is high up, it doesn't mean it's good; it just means it sucks less than the ones below it.
Here's my take on page class. First: the page starts off weak, but if they manage to reach their true potential they are "second to none". This is stated in canon. Second: the journey of a page typically takes the entire session. Of the pages we've seen, they're journeys haven't been the best; Jake didn't reach his true potential until his fight with LE (or before [S] Game Over in the game over timeline), both events happened the last day or well after the last day of the session. Tavros, the page of breath, didn't realize his true potential until he was dead. Yeah. We see Tavros rally the troll army to fight LE with just his friendliness, charm and flexibility (part of the breath aspect); a feat that only Aranea, a troll with eons worth of mind control practice could achieve. Keep in mind a page reaching their full potential applies to the emotional side of them as well; not just the fancy powers they get. Horuss, the page of void, never realizes his full potential. For this list, I ranked under the presumption that it generally takes a page almost the entire session to realize their true potential, if they manage to at all. Third: Pages are challenged by, yet embody their aspect. Jake has a good-natured demeanor and is positive, yet he can't see possibilities to escape his relationship with Dirk, and isn't optimistic about the ones presented. Tavros leads without realizing it during the afterlife and is pretty flexible, yet has a tough time changing throughout Hivebent and literally could not move, all parts of the Breath aspect. Horuss is certainly a void player, but is challenged because he sees everything, and can't embody or focus on nothing. Part of the page's journey is to overcome their emotional challenges, meaning they start off challenged by their aspect in some way. Fourth: The Page serves their aspect or serves through their aspect for themselves (this is probably the most widely debated point here). Lastly, a page can weaponize their aspect. Okay! Now to the list...
1.) Page of Rage
2.) Page of Life
3.) Page of Hope
4.) Page of Void
5.) Page of Time
6.) Page of Doom
7.) Page of Mind
8.) Page of Light
9.) Page of Space
10.) Page of Heart
11.) Page of Blood
12.) Page of Breath
1.) Page of Rage
I put this for number one because it seems to be the least problematic of the bunch. Rage-bound can be dangerous, so a person challenged by rage likely wouldn't be a problem to the session. A Page of Rage might start out as a pacifist, and part of their journey is learning when to step up for themselves and fight. As for powers- we know Gamzee (a non-god tier) delivered the most powerful blow to the Black King, so Rage-bound are capable of dealing massive, if unpredictable damage. A PoR would no doubt deal insane damage once fully realized.
2.) Page of Life
I’m gonna say it, probably the worst life classpect besides maybe bard. They'll go through most of their session as an okay healer- maybe they can heal wounds or injuries at best. As a person, they would either be bad at helping and taking care of people, or they help in the wrong way. They would probably be annoying to deal with in a session- whenever they try to help, they just make things worse or make people upset. a PoL would need to learn how to take care of people and actually build them up. Fully realized, however, they would be the best healer in the game. They'd certainly be capable of revival, and could rapidly heal, especially themselves. A passive self-regeneration ability? A fully realized PoL would be a very useful ally in the fight against the Black King.
3.) Page of Hope
Jake showed us a PoH can still be hopeful, although maybe not the best source of hope and trust. Either way, the PoH doesn't seem to be a nonconstructive classpect. At their worst they might selfish or bad at having hope (especially for themselves, as Jake showed dealing with his Dirk problems). Jake also demonstrated a fully realized PoH can be deadly, apparently rivaling the power of the green sun when Jade attempts to overpower him. Not too shabby.
4.) Page of Void
As Horuss himself states, this is a confusing classpect. How does one realize the full potential of nothingness? A PoV would likely start out confused about who they are or what they want to be, and their biggest problem is that they see infinite possibilities and are overwhelmed, again, as Horuss himself states. A PoV would need to learn to be okay with not knowing every possibility, and would need to learn how to "void out" possibilities and find out what their strengths are. Think of a kid who has no clue what they want to do or be when they grow up. A fully realized PoV would have excellent voidy powers, easily become invisible and untraceable. They'd be able to create a sort of void cloud (if that makes sense) around people, although it would be stronger with them. Black holes are also a possibility.
5.) Page of Time
A PoT would likely start out either being way too violent and selfish and/or would struggle with accepting the end of things. If they got a grade on an assignment they felt they didn't deserve, they'd be the ones to argue a better grade, even if they've been told it's final. The journey of a PoT would force them to accept the inevitability of things, and would challenge them to be less violent in their reactions and use their time powers for good, and not petty or zealous reasons. Their time powers in question wouldn't be great. Perhaps they can only travel forward or back in time by only an hour? The biggest problem would be their mastery over their powers. Being violent, selfish, and inexperienced brings plenty of danger to other players (revenge?), and could create many doomed timelines if the PoT wasn't careful. A fully realized PoT would be an excellent fighter, maybe they could even go back in time and fix all their mistakes they made with their powers? Either way, their powers are more potent when they benefit the PoT rather than other players.
6.) Page of Doom
This is a tricky one. Being challenged by doom could mean the PoD is always doomed and must overcome said doom, or they simply aren't doomed and need to accept doom. Combined with fully realized powers, this makes the PoD a personified nuclear bomb, at least in my opinion. Using doom as a powerful weapon could be really good against an impressive foe, or could wipe out the players or even part of a session. It's very unclear which would be the case, so I stuck this classpect in the middle of the list. Another interpretation is that they serve themselves with doom. This could manifest as using doomed people/players to get what they want, which is basically slave labor. Not cool. Very unpredictable, the co-players must be very wary of a PoD.
7.) Page of Mind
Alright, here's where the mediocre gets sucky. A PoM would be challenged be decision-making and logic. Maybe they like thought and logic, but aren't good at it. Think an enthusiastic but bad chess player. Or perhaps they might be decent thinkers, but they're too indecisive to put that mind power to use or can't make decisions quick enough. Either way, they wouldn't be constructive to the session because they either can't think/strategist or they can't because they don't know which option they should pick. A fully realized PoM would be an excellent strategist (picture Ender from the Ender series), capable of finding weak points, using strategy to maximize damages, and being able to predict an attack. Powers would include said prediction, maybe they'd be able to visualize the field and how their strategies would play out before they make a move?
8.) Page of Light
Uy. I don't like this classpect. A light player is valuable because they can provide information, critical to a game like SBurb. Being a PoL, they'd be challenged by light and would either not be able to get information, or wouldn't understand and apply it well. Because this is an active class, they wouldn't be inclined to share this information or their insight with the team. They might also be unlucky. A PoL might also struggle with being in the spotlight; maybe they have stage-fright? Maybe they don't handle attention well and are insecure? A PoL will need to become comfortable with having attention and dealing with it accordingly. A fully realized PoL would have great powers and could get very lucky. The informational part wouldn't be as useful. What's the use of a walk through if you don't get it until the final boss? Eh, they might be able to adapt to what's going on in a battle and fight according to that info.
9.) Page of Space
A PoS would be challenged by space, let's start there. This applies to personal as well as physical space. A PoS might be very disorganized, and/or would have serious issues with *personal space*. Get it? The space aspect, as alternate Calliope tells us, is a lonely aspect. A PoS might have a tough time balancing "people time" and "alone time", and not being able to get help or be left alone (whichever is the problem) would pose a challenge to a PoS. The really bad thing about this classpect is that a space player is required in a null or fruitful session, and is responsible for breeding the Genesis Frog. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want a disorganized person literally challenged by space to be handling the creation of a new universe. The saving grace is that a PoS would be very powerful, rivaling or surpassing Jade's powers (remember she gained the power of the green sun!). Emotionally, a realized PoS would be able to manage their space and personal space well. They'd be able to benefit themselves by being organized and having more/less alone time.
10.) Page of Heart
Challenged by people skills and the self. Their classpect literally means "to serve the self". A PoH would be very obsessed with building up their image and reputation, but would be horrible at dealing with relationships. They wouldn't be kind, and changing would be hard. Because of the fact they will serve themselves, and aren't very good at it, they're nonconstructive to themselves as well as their co-players. A PoH would need to learn to be themselves in order to build their reputation, and that in order to be emotionally stable they'll need to be willing to change and also be open to others. In terms of powers, we don't have much to go off of. Maybe they can fake fake their identity to get behind enemy lines and gain an advantage? Their source of strength would be their own soul, so being emotionally healthy (hard in SBurb) is quite necessary in order to be a good PoH. Overall, an unhelpful class that doesn't have a big payoff when they reach their full potential.
11.) Page of Blood
Oh boy. I've been waiting to roast these last two classpects forever. The PoB is a VERY bad classpect. This is a leader aspect, meaning a PoB will likely be the leader in a session. Here's the problem- they're a page. They're inherently challenged by being able to lead and unify. "Serving themselves through unity" would manifest itself as a PoB wanting to delegate tasks or organize people to benefit their own desires or agenda, which could be very detrimental when playing SBurb. A PoB might even drive people away rather than bring them together. A PoB would need to learn how to lead, and how to lead and unify well. Fully realized, a PoB would basically be a powerful army general. Their fully realized blood powers would likely grant their teammates major power boosts, which could be very useful, especially if they're powerful to begin with. This would make the PoB a personified mega-steroid. In terms of combative powers, we actually have no clue what the powers of a blood player are, so I can't say.
12.) Page of Breath
AKA: The Roast of Tavros. This classpect. This. Classpect. It suffers from the same problem PoB does; you're not going to be a good leader throughout the session. And what's the point of an awesome leader if you're not going to actually get the awesome leader when you need to, you know, LEAD A SESSION?! At least you might have a good leader for the final battle and into the new universe, if you made it. The double whammy to this classpect is that being a PoB, they would struggle with change. Pages need to change to realize their true potential. A Page of Breath is bad at changing. DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM HERE!? This is easily one of the worst classpects, it's very design has such anti-synergy that will make a PoB fundamentally useless. A PoB would need to learn to be flexible and actually accept change. Being challenged by movement, they might be slow or bad at moving. As stated earlier, Tavros starts out without the use of his legs, literally embodying this fact. A fully realized PoB would be a great leader. They would be very fast and great at moving (Tavros dances when he dumbfounds Vriska), and would have powerful windy powers. Does it make up for the journey? ... The answer should be painfully obvious.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I put a lot of thought into this list and the classpects, I hope you enjoy! Leave your thoughts in the comments!
#homestuck#page#classpect#classpects#breath#blood#light#void#time#space#hope#rage#life#doom#heart#mind#aspect#tavros#jake english#horuss
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