#and I’m sorry you had those fandom experiences

[rebelliousstories]

Vaultie

Relationship: Cooper “The Ghoul” Howard x Reader

Fandom: Fallout

Request: Yes by @silverose365

Warnings: Angst, Strong Language, Fluff, Allusions to Cannibalism

Word Count: 2,119

Main Masterlist: Here

Fallout Masterlist: Here

Summary: If Cooper Howard had a nickel for every time he came across an escaped vault dweller looking to find her father and to change the world…

The sight of the blue Vault-Tec wandering through the Wasteland made The Ghoul let out a low growl. How many of these people were going to be popping up? He watched her wander around, trying to talk to some people, but they had just turned her away at the first sight of blue. She was not much different than the other Vaultie he had come across. Same kind of naive look in her eyes, along with hope. Hope was a commodity up here. Just as he was finishing up his last drink at the one bar within a hundred miles that would actually take his caps, this vault dweller strolled right on up to him.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you were interested in a trade.” She pitched, shoulders back and a determined look on her face.

“Sorry darlin’, not interested in a whore tonight.” Howard spoke with a low drawl. He got great joy of seeing the appalled look on the vault girl’s face.

“Oh, I’m not a- that’s, that’s not what I was offering. I was wondering if you could tell me how to get to this location. I have caps.” Pulling a piece of paper from her suit, she procured a pencil as well from a separate pouch. She put those items in one hand, and she wrestled with a bag on her hip that Cooper could hear the clanking of bottle caps coming from. The paper and pencil were set down in front of the ghoul, and she got her caps ready to give away. He grabbed the paper from the table and eyed her wearily as he read the address.

“Now what’s a vault dweller like you,” he gestured to her, “doing in a place like this,” motioning to their surroundings, “and looking for a place like this?” He finished by holding up the paper.

“I’m looking into Vault-Tec. The experiment they were running in my vault, it was barbaric to say the least. And when I found out things that I should not have, I escaped to here. The people down there, they don’t know any different than their life that has been played with and manipulated.” She explained, sitting down in the chair across from The Ghoul.

“Well, that is some might fine ideas. Afraid it won’t get you nowhere up here. Every few years, someone has a great idea to save the world. But it’s just a load of horseshit.” Cooper went on, fiddling with the paper in his hands.

“Look, I don’t particularly care about that. I’m on my own mission, and I need help to navigate this place. Now, what do you say? Fifty caps for directions on how to get there?” This Vaultie was testing his patience, but fifty caps is fifty caps. Without a word, Cooper wrote down on the piece of paper all the directions she would need. After that it was up to her to interpret and follow them.

“The caps?” He held out his hand while holding back the paper. Once the bottle caps were placed n his grasp, he counted them quickly, before handing over the paper and pencil to the Vaultie. But when she leaned in close, that is when he saw it. Words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them.

“I didn’t catch your name, darlin’.” Cooper prompted, tugging back the paper at the last second before she could grasp it.

“I didn’t throw it. May I please have my paper and pencil back?” She tried one more time to swipe them, but Cooper was faster than she was.

“Be warned now. You go lookin’ into Vault-Tec, you probably not gonna like what you find. It’s a whole mess of an operation.” He stated, low and slow. There was something about this girl in front of him that he just could not put his finger on.

“I appreciate the concern, but I’m going to find out what they’re doing, and expose them.” Finally, she was able to get her hands on the paper and pencil in his other hand. She stood from the table, and turned to to leave when something that Cooper said caught her attention.

“You never know who is gonna be the one behind the shitstorm. Could be someone close to you. I don’t think your mind can handle the truth once you find it out, Vaultie.” Her face was thick with confusion, and then it was full of fury.

“I don’t give a fuck what you think I can and can’t handle. And I don’t know what kind of grudge you hold against us, but I couldn’t really care less. Besides, you took my caps so surely you can’t hate me that much.” And with that, she made her way out of the bar, and into the sweltering day ahead.

Cooper sat in that bar for a good long while nursing his final drink. This vault dweller was certainly different than the previous one. She could hold her own but to what end? Surely, she was not going to last long in the Wasteland. Downing the rest of the liquor, he threw some caps on to the table, pocketed the rest and set out. It was not hard for him to find her; the tracks in the sand making it easy. But he kept a distance from her, and made sure she never knew he was there.

As they traveled, Cooper saw less and less of a vault dweller, and more of a surface dweller in her. The way she negotiated, carried herself, and overall acted; you would never be able to tell she came from a vault had it not been for that blue jumpsuit. He never intervened, always waiting on the sidelines. But he did keep an eye on this determined vault dweller. The scariest part of her journey was when they came across fiends.

“Hello, little lady. What are you doin’ out here?” A man leered at her, crowding her against the side of the building that Cooper had hid behind. He watched intently, waiting to see if he would need to intervene.

“I’m just passing through. Excuse me.” She tried to move past the man, but he shoved her back. Another fiend came around to crowd her in, and another, and another, and another. She was outnumbered five to one, and was looking around in a desperate attempt to find an opening. Cooper moved his duster back and had his hand on his pistol, ready to dispatch of these men. However, that thought made him pause. What was he doing following this girl on her journey? Maybe that other vault dweller was making him soft. No, it could not be.

“Oh, she’s got manners. That’s a real sweet thing to come out of your mouth. Hopefully the rest of you is that sweet.” The leader made a move to grab her, and Cooper was ready to draw his pistol when a shot rang out.

The lead fiend dropped to the ground dead. Her gun was still smoking, and she wasted no time in shooting the four other men who tried to touch her again. By the end, she was splattered with blood and breathing heavily. She began to loot through their bodies while Cooper moved further back in the shadows. He tried to make no noise, but a rock slipped from under his feet and made the Vaultie’s head whip around to where he was standing. There was a beat of silence, but she turned back to her task at hand when she did not hear anything else.

From then on, Cooper had no reason not to trust that she could handle herself. It had been so long that he had cared for anyone other than himself. The feeling was so foreign now, but it crept in without his say so. The unknowing duo walked for days and days, until finally their destination came into view. The broken, and abandoned building stood tall even with all thee destruction around it. She made her way in, but Cooper remained outside. The Ghoul found the shadiest spot alongside the building, and stopped for a rest and water.

The vault dweller began to look around the decrepit building, finding the floor where Vault-Tec records were held, and began to climb the stairs. There was nothing stopping her now; she could see the finish line. Once she was inside the Vault-Tec office, she Egan rifling through the files on the desks. What she found, astounded her.

Hundreds of vaults, and their subsequent experiments. The depth of human depravity never ceased to amaze her. While the description of her vault made her angry, the others made her blood boil. Human lives treated like lab rats in a sick and twisted experiment for society’s so called betterment. Stowing the files in her bag, she began to look around for information from before the vaults. Files detailing how they would get people down into those vaults that they created were littered about. But the more she read, the more the was enraged. However, there was one file that caught her attention.

Pages that described the bombings in great detail, dated hundreds of years ago. And she read through everyone. She was losing daylight, but she needed to read through everything. Her eyes scanned hundreds of words, and was trying to process everything when she finally go to the page that was used as the sign off sheets for the bombings. When she read the names of those who signed off, her heart dropped. The file slipped out of her hand, and there was no feeling left in her body.

Her father signed off on these bombs.

It took a while for the feeling to return to her limbs. When it finally all hit her, a scream tore through her vocal chords before she could stop it. All the pent up emotions and memories that now felt scarred; it was all coming out now. She calmed herself down, and snatched the file from the ground. As much as she hated it, she knew it was going to be important. There was no way around it if she wanted to help the people in the vaults.

Making her way back outside the building, the sunset ahead was painting the sky in a brilliant red with streaks of purple and orange. She went to turn the side of the building and was met with The Ghoul that had first helped her with the directions that led her here. He was leaning against the building, but was quick to stand up straight when he heard her round the corner. His undead heart broke just a little bit when he saw the broke look on her face. It was so different to the determined face that she held, even in the times that she should have been scared out of her wits.

“You alright there, Vaultie?” His tone was laced with concern that was not normal anymore. Cooper stepped closer, opened his arms, and brought her in close. She tried to fight, but her arms felt weak even to her as she tried to hit the ghoul before her. Her punches did not even make a dent in the man, but he let her get all of her frustration out before he knew the inevitable drop. And drop she did. Once her energy and anger were exhausted, her legs gave way and she collapsed in Cooper.

“Calm down there, darlin’. You’re alright now. The pain’ll go away soon.” He comforted the girl in his arms.

“Did you know?” She whispered, her voice hoarse.

“Yes.” He replied.

“I know it stings, darlin’. I warned you not to go lookin’. Knew you wouldn’t like what you found.” Howard continued, now stroking his gloved hand over her hair.

“But I needed to. I need to know what is going on. It’s so sheltered down there, and people are so naive. They deserve to know,” came her soft cry. It broke his heart even further apart.

“You’re doin’ a very selfless thing here. You’re gonna be alright though. Already survived bein’ up here for this long. You’ll make it up here Vaultie.” It was comforting to hear such kind words after being on the surface and away from home for so long.

All the girl did was nod into The Ghoul’s chest. She was going to be fine, and she was going to help the people in the vaults. Her mind was alright made up; she was no longer going to be a vault dweller and apart of their twisted system. She was now a surface dweller, and really needed to get rid of her jumpsuit.

[roostertuftart]

I hate how divided the Tumblr fandom is now lmao like it’s still tighter knit than Instagram or whatever but h. God some people are so weird about taking sides.

[waitingonher]

NIGHTS LIKE THESE — [hoo boys drabbles]

summary: how they react to your bad dreams.

author's note: i wrote leo's + jason's part imagining that the cabins/barracks have individual rooms sooo...also ik this trope is so ran through in the pjo fandom but it's just toooo good i couldn't help myself

percy jackson

percy has always been the type of person to pick up the phone no matter the time. even as he’s on a lone movie marathon and the scene reaches its long-anticipated climax, he’s reaching for his buzzing phone that’s lost beneath the sheets. having found it after the third ring, percy checks the time and the caller id. why are you calling him so late? he answers, “hi babe. i thought you had to wake up early this morning, why are you awake?” 

“hi percy,” your voice was shaky and congested, as if you’d been crying. percy immediately sits up, alarmed at the state of your voice, “did i wake you up?” 

“no, no, i was up watching movies. what’s wrong? is everything okay?” he’s seated at the edge of his bed now, anxiously awaiting your response. 

you force him to sit in silence as you think of an excuse, “yeah, um…i’m okay. i just wanted to hear your voice. but i’ll see you on thursday, okay? goodni-” 

“(y/n), what’s going on?” percy runs a hand through his hair as he heads out of his room to his kitchen. he rips off a napkin from the roll and snatches a pen from the drawer. on the napkin, he writes a brief message to sally, saying that he’d be over at your place and not to worry. 

“nothing. i’m fine, percy,” you mutter. but your boyfriend knows you too well. the way your voice quivers makes it sound as though you were trying to convince yourself that everything was okay, and you were failing miserably. 

percy places his phone between his ear and shoulder as he ties his shoes, “don’t leave me in the dark, (y/n).” 

“don’t worry about me. i’m fine it was just-” 

“babe, i’m coming over, okay?” and with that, percy hangs up. 

he’s walked this path over a hundred times, usually for dropping you off after dates or simply for hanging out with you. but this time, all percy can think about is how you sounded over the phone and that he needs to seriously pick up the pace. 

upon arrival, percy climbs up the fire escape ladder as quickly and quietly as possible. it’s only now that he’s grateful for his experience from all of those laborious quests. reaching your floor, he knocks delicately on the glass. 

“percy, what are you doing here?” you ask after he closes your window, “i’m sorry, you really didn’t need to come all this way. it’s like three in the morning and you-” 

your boyfriend silences you with a gentle kiss, “i’m okay. it’s you i’m worried about. what’s wrong?” 

“it was just a dream.” 

“just a dream?”

“yes, it was just a stupid dream.” 

percy grabs your shoulders, forcing you to look at him, “(y/n), you’re one of the strongest people i know. so if you were crying over it, then it really must be something.” 

you slump on your bed, and percy joins beside you. it's no use hiding it from percy, so with a sigh, you confess, “well, you’re here now. but it just felt so real,” your eyes begin to prick with tears again, “you were laying on the floor…and there was just so much blood, and i tried to stop it—i really did try—but it just kept coming and there was nothing else i could do.” 

honestly, percy didn’t know what to say. but he did know that if your dream was anything like the ones he had about you, they were emotionally and physically crushing. so, he decides that if he can’t say anything, he’d rather show you. percy gently guides your body, until the both of you are laying down. with a strong arm wrapped around your figure and the other rubbing slow circles on your back, he can only hope you understand the message he’s trying to convey. 

“i’m here, (y/n). everything’s going to be okay,” percy continues to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. slowly but surely, your crying mellows into only soft sniffles. 

as you lay on his chest, you can feel the rise and fall of his breathing body. it wasn’t at all like that dream of yours; his cold body eerily still on the floor. not at all like that. you allow yourself to slowly drift off with the rise and fall of his chest, strangely as if it were its own lullaby, “thank you, percy,” you manage to whisper. 

“i love you, (y/n). i’m not leaving you, ever. i promise,” percy whispers back. 

leo valdez

leo’s used to waking up several times in the middle of the night. considering the demigod dreams, he hasn’t remembered the last time he’s gotten a full night's rest, which is why he’s not surprised to be awake at the crisp hour of two a.m. he can’t even remember the dream this time, but leo bets it was another dream foreseeing his imminent death or the end of the world. 

as he stares at the pipes and wires running along the ceiling of bunker 9, a familiar ringtone sounds from his phone. leo quickly wipes the sleep from his eyes and picks up the phone from his nightstand, “(y/n)? are you okay? it’s so late.” 

there’s a silence, followed up by quiet sniffles. were you crying? “hi leo, i’m sorry i probably woke you up didn’t i? go back to sleep, i was-” 

“no i was already awake, what’s wrong?” the moment your boyfriend noticed your shaky voice, his attitude completely changed. suddenly awake and full of energy, he tears off his blanket and reaches for his hoodie and shoes.

considering the fact that you never really call so late alarms him. you calling either meant that you had a nightmare or you were hurt…and leo prayed it was the dream. 

“i’m sorry…” you take a deep breath, “i just had a bad dream, like one of those dreams, you know?” leo knows all too well what you’re talking about, and if it’s anything close to the dreams he has, he can only imagine what you’re feeling, “but i swear i’m okay now. i’ll see you later?” 

but leo’s already out the door as you finish your explanation, “i’m coming over, stay there.” 

“wait leo-” 

he hung up. 

the trek through the forest was usually something one would avoid, especially at this hour, but leo couldn't give less of a shit as he thinks about you crying in your room. a few minutes later after practically sprinting to your cabin, he arrives. locating the window to your room was easy, he’d done this several times before for your sleepovers. leo knocks as quietly as he can on the glass, hoping he doesn’t disturb any of your other siblings. 

surprised, you pull your curtain aside and are face to face with none other than your boyfriend. he looks sweaty and out of breath. leo ran all this way? pushing your question to the side, you rush to open the window and let him in. 

for the first time, leo really gets a good look at you. your eyes are red and puffy; you look at him with such desperation and he can’t help but pull you into a rib-cracking hug. 

“you actually came.” 

“what? of course i did, (y/n),” he takes your face into his hands, rubbing soft circles on each cheek. suddenly, tears begin to flow freely down your face. was it something he said? was he not supposed to come? 

you pick up on his confusion, “i’m sorry, i’m just…glad you’re alive,” leo sits you on your bed, and continues to wipe away the tears, his concern growing with each passing second. your boyfriend urges you to go on, “it’s just the same thing every night. i’m at your grave on the hill, and i’m all alone and it’s raining and i just-” 

“(y/n), breathe,” leo pulls you into his chest once more. he holds you so impossibly tight, ensuring that you know he’s there and he doesn’t plan to ever leave. his sacrifice during the final battle against gaia will forever be amongst one of leo’s biggest regrets. not because he had saved the world, but because of how hard it impacted you. without a doubt, you could easily say that those months where leo was gone were the hardest times of your life. and not a day goes by where leo thinks he can ever forgive himself for it, “i’m here. i’m alive.” 

you nod, your sobs turning into quiet hiccups. leo moves the two of you guys to be laying down, and as final reassurance, he gently guides your hand under his hoodie, allowing you to feel his steady heartbeat. your boyfriend’s skin is warm to the touch and you count his heartbeat…one…two…three. and that was proof enough, “you’re alive.” 

“i am,” leo soothes. he places a gentle kiss atop your head and pulls the covers over your bodies. his arms wrap tightly around your figure, holding you close, “sleep, (y/n). i’ll be here in the morning.”

jason grace

it’s late nights like these that jason has slowly come to appreciate. these scarce nights where he’s completed his praetor duties for the night and he allows himself to indulge in some self-care, which usually consists of a cup of hot herbal tea and a good book. 

usually, jason prefers historical books, oftentimes concerning roman myths or the occasional diary of some war general. what can he say? he likes to be all-knowing when it comes to these things. but this time, as he’s curled up in his bed, he reaches for the book that you had recommended to him: a classic romance novel. jason laughs to himself as he recalls you teasing him about his taste in literature. if he remembers correctly, you called him a “history-loving freak?” 

just as jason’s about to open the book, an unexpected ringing sounds from his phone. he huffs, momentarily disapointed. that is, until he sees who’s calling, “(y/n)? hi, are you okay?” 

“oh, hi,” jason noticed the way your voice sounded off, like you’d been crying, “i didn’t think you’d actually answer.” 

confused, he puts the book back on his nightstand, “of course i would, my love. what’s going on? you sound like you’ve been crying.” 

“no, everything��s okay i just…” you pause, “had a bad dream, so i wanted to listen to your voicemail.”

jason’s heart squeezes at the thought of you going so far as to listen to his own ten second voicemail as a method of comfort. but the feeling goes away just as quickly as it came upon hearing you had a nightmare, “oh i’m sorry, my love. do you want me to come over?” 

“no,” you reply, “it’s okay. i’m better now that i’ve heard your voice. you can go back to bed, jason.” 

despite you declining his offer, jason’s already up and putting his shoes on, “i’ll be there in a few, okay? i love you,” and he hangs up. 

within a handful of minutes, jason reaches your cohort’s barracks. the square windows look impossibly similar, but it’s all thanks to practice that he recognizes yours. even as praetor, he still has to enforce the rules and sneak around. with a quiet knock on your window, he waits in the dark for you. 

“you’re here. you’re alive, jason,” is all you can muster up as your boyfriend stands tall inside your room. his expression is clearly written with worry as he closes the gap between you with a hug. as hard as you tried to fight it, the tears came again in a fresh wave. 

“yeah, i’m here, (y/n). i’m not leaving,” he replies, concern laced in his words. jason notices your tears and gently wipes them away, “c’mere, tell me about your dream,” he beckons, guiding you towards the bed. with a gentle plop, he settles down and opens his arms, inviting you to join him.

settling against jason’s chest, you take a shaky breath as he places kisses on your temple, “i was at your funeral, and you looked so peaceful, like you were sleeping. i just can’t stop thinking about how you looked asleep. and then they expected me to, you know, give a speech in front of the entire camp about you, and i just…i can’t imagine a world without you, so please, you can’t leave me like that.” 

“woah, woah, (y/n) i’m okay, breathe,” jason hushes you, rubbing soft circles on your arm. to be frank, he’s pretty shocked about what you had just said. he can’t get over how shaken up you are by this. but jason can’t even blame you, because if it were him who had the dream, he bets he would also be like this, “i’m here and i have no plan of ever leaving, okay? i’m afraid you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life,” he jokes, hoping to get at least a smile from you. 

jason’s joke succeeds as he feels your body shake with a quiet giggle, “good. i wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

your boyfriend checks your face once more, ensuring that you’ve stopped crying. seeing that you have, he places delicate kisses on each cheek, “hey, how about we go to sleep now? i’ll read you that book,” jason motions to the book on your nightstand, which happens to be the same one you recommended him. 

you nod tiredly, “only if you do different voices for each character.” 

“of course, only for you,” jason quips. 

after adjusting your bodies, jason reaches for the book and opens it to chapter one. but before he begins, he pulls the covers completely over your body and places a chaste kiss on your forehead, “i love you so much, (y/n). and i hope you know that i’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Absolutely - Spencer Reid

A/N: I have absolutely NO idea where this came from and I know nobody asked for it but here it is xD number two of the story winners :) depending on how this story goes I might reopen the Criminal Minds fandom :D and I also want to thank @mycobrakai1972​ so much for your help, love :) 

Warnings: Spencer being an asshole (so he may be a bit OOC and it’s just in the beginning, but he apologizes :D) the reader stutters when she’s nervous and I think that’s it but always please let me know if I missed anything!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds :D gif isn’t mine :)  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Absolutely 

This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her... when she smiles

It had all started as a shitty day.

"Good morning, Spencer" you smiled when he walked inside the break room.

"Morning" he replied, grumpily, making his way over to the coffee maker.

"Are you okay?" you asked, worried. It wasn't like Spencer to come in late. And you knew that if he was late, most likely he hadn't had breakfast. And you knew that if he hadn't had breakfast, it meant he had a headache.

"Yeah, I just have a headache" he confirmed your suspicion, pouring his coffee with sugar.

"Um... maybe you should eat something instead?" you suggested, knowing by experience that coffee would only make the headache worse and wondering if this was something that he should know, being a genius and all, or he simply didn't care. "I brought some banana muffins if you'd like one" you offered, grabbing the plate of muffins.

"I'm not hungry, thanks" he muttered, ignoring the grumble on his stomach. He loved your banana muffins.

"Oh, okay" you said, making Spencer feel slightly bad when your smile dropped. He had never declined one from you. "I also have some aspirin on my desk if you need-"

"I'm fine" he smiled firmly at you.

"Um, wait" you said before he could leave. You felt a little bad when you heard him sigh frustrated, but you still tried to smile at him. "Sorry, um... would you mind getting my mug down for me? Please?" you asked, pointing at the top shelf where he saw your mug. Spencer didn't say anything, but he placed his mug on the counter before he reached for yours and handed it to you.

"Why do you always put it on the top shelf?" he asked annoyed, not really waiting for a response as he left the room before you could even tell him it wasn't you who put it there or before you could even thank him.

You sighed, making yourself some coffee before you walked over to your desk, next to Spencer. He silently watched you offer the banana muffins to Derek, in front of you, and the rest of the team quickly came to get one. He heard his stomach grumble again. He didn't know why he had turned you down. He just wasn't in a good mood and really didn't want you to see him that way. He brushed it off, thinking maybe he could get one from you later, once his headache was over. Which was obviously getting worse with his coffee. But he knew it would pass.

Except it didn't. It had to be one of those long, horrible days filled with nothing else than boring paperwork. Morgan came over every ten minutes to go over something on his paperwork when Spencer fully knew it was because he wanted him to do it for him. He was too tired and fatigued to argue with him, so he would just correct what was needed and hand it back to him.

"Thanks, kid" Derek smiled, walking away from him. He had noticed you looking at him from time to time, but you quickly looked away when you were caught. "Hey, pretty girl" Spencer saw Derek walk over to you. "Is it okay if I take the last muffin?" he asked, pointing at the plate that only had one muffin left.

Spencer felt his leg shaking. He wanted to walk over there and said he didn't get a muffin earlier (skipping the part of you offering them to him before anyone else) and grab that last muffin. But he didn't. He saw you looking at him and he quickly went back to his work.

"Um... sure" he heard you say shyly as you looked back at Derek. "I don't think anyone else wants it" you replied.

"Thanks, doll. You're the best!" Morgan said, grabbing it, and walking away to the break room.

By lunchtime, everyone had picked up on Spencer's foul mood and had been avoiding him like the plague. It was unusual for the young genius to be so grumpy. But you imagined that him being late and disrupting his entire routine, not having had anything to eat, having a headache, and having to fix Morgan's mistakes, he was bound to explode at some point. Which is why everyone seemed to be tip-toeing around him.

When Penelope asked if you wanted to come to lunch with her and Morgan, you declined, saying that you were behind on your paperwork, which was a lie. You were almost done, and you wanted to help Reid with his since, you noticed he was actually behind, which was another odd thing to happen. But you could tell he wasn't being able to concentrate since he would press his hand to his forehead every few minutes, which meant his headache was getting worse. Once the bullpen was empty, you carefully approached Spencer and placed your hand on his shoulder, making him jump on his chair.

"Sorry, sorry, I... didn't mean to scare you" you apologized. "I just... wanted to know if you... um-"

"Yes?" he asked annoyed.

It was like you were delaying him on purpose. But in your head, this was your chance to get him to go to lunch with you. And maybe he could eat something, relax and you can give him the surprise you had brought for him.

"Would you want to go to have lunch with me? I n-noticed you haven't eaten anything a-and-"

"I can't. I need to finish this" he simply said, feeling even worse because of how deflated you became.

"Oh, well, I'm a-almost done with mine. I can help you i-if you'd like and just grab some sandwiches from-"

"That's okay. I can handle it" he told you.

"Oh, I d-didn't mean that-"

"Seriously, you should just go to lunch" he said, looking at you in a way he hadn't before. You felt a small pain in your heart and you decided to drop it.

"Um... o-okay" you said nervously. You walked over to your desk and opened your first drawer to take out a package of cookies. You at least had to try to get some food in him. "Hey, Spence, did you know that Fig Newtons are named after a town in Massachusetts and not after the scientist?" you asked with a small smile, walking back to him. Your smile instantly fell when he glared at you. He actually glared at you.

"Yes, I knew that" he lied. That was probably one of the very few things he didn't know. And he actually found it really interesting.

"Oh" you chuckled sadly. Of course, he knew. He's a fucking genius. "I just... thought it was an interesting fact" you muttered, placing the cookies on his desk. "Take a break and eat something, okay?"

You were gone before he could say anything else. Leaving him alone with the package of cookies in his hand.

The day was almost over. This was going to be your best opportunity. You opened your bottom drawer and saw the neatly wrapped book you had gotten for Spencer. He had barely acknowledged you for the rest of your shift. And now, that everyone else was gone, it was your last chance.

You saw Spencer coming back from the breakroom with his probably fifth cup of coffee and you noticed he didn't even wave goodbye to Emily and JJ who were just leaving. You took a deep breath and tried to convince yourself that this was still a good idea. You grabbed the gift, stood up, and slowly made your way towards his desk.

"Hey, uh, Spence-?" You startled him, making him jump a little and his coffee got on his shirt and some of the papers that he was working on. "Oh, my God! I'm so sorry, I-"

"What? What could you possibly need now?" he snapped, not even looking at you as he grabbed some napkins to clean himself and his desk up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Oh no, of course you didn't. This is just classic of you. I mean, things just sort of happen around you and it's never your fault" he said, upset.

"S-Spencer, I get that you're upset, b-but I was just t-trying to-"

"Do you? Do you really get it because it doesn't seem that way! You have tried to annoy me all day!" he said, making your heart break into a million pieces. Spencer had never talked to you like this, or anyone else for that matter. His voice was full of anger. "Everyone else seemed to notice that I just wasn't in the mood to talk, but not you. Of course, you would still be here, trying to get my attention on something! You were really too much today! I just wanted to be left alone but you refused to just give me some peace! You can't just take a hint when you're being a lot, can you?"

The second the words left Spencer's mouth he felt like complete shit. He had no right to talk to you like that. Especially when you had tried all day to be nothing but nice to him. And when he turned around to face you and was ready to apologize, his heart shattered into a million pieces when he saw the wrapped present in your hands. You remembered. He was certain that everyone had forgotten. But not you. And he had just yelled at you. The look in your eyes was so broken, if anyone else had spoken to you that way, he would instantly want them dead. But it had been him. He had caused you that pain. Spencer could swear he saw the second the light in your eyes stopped. The light that was always there when you looked at him and now it was shut down. And it was all his fault.

"I j-just... uh-" you stuttered, something that Spencer hadn't seen you do in a very long time. "I w-was g-going to ask if you uh- n-nevermind" you said, quickly looking away from him and begging that the tears wouldn't fall from your eyes. "I'm s-sorry" you said, making him feel sick to his stomach. You were sorry. He snapped at you, and you were saying sorry. "Happy birthday, R-Reid" Reid. Not Spencer. Reid. You quickly placed the gift on his desk and left as fast as you could not noticing Spencer sighing and hitting his desk out of frustration. He was an idiot.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next day, Spencer was the first one to come in. His leg kept bouncing up and down as he eyed your empty desk, waiting for you to arrive. However, he was interrupted when Penelope burst into the bullpen, heading out straight for Spencer's desk and making a fuzz about forgetting his birthday. She apologized endlessly and insisted that the whole team had to go out that night to make it up to him even if Spencer kept on insisting it wasn't a big deal.

He missed your entrance because everyone was surrounding his desk but he noticed when Penelope turned around to walk over to you.

"Hey, my favorite sugar plum" she smiled at you. "We're taking Spencer out to dinner because of his birthday" she explained. "Are you in?"

Spencer felt his heart racing, waiting for your answer. He desperately wanted you to come. Some part of him still hoped that you could forgive him for his previous behavior even though he knew he didn't deserve it.

"Oh" you smiled wearily and quickly looked in Spencer's direction. "I'm uh- I'm s-sorry, I can't t-today" you lied.

"Why not?" Penelope demanded. "This might be your chance to finally ask him out" she whispered so only you would hear.

"Yeah... I decided n-not to do that, Pen" you said, sadly. "I really d-don't think he's interested."

"Wait, did something happen?"

"No" you quickly said. "N-nothing happened I just... think it's best if I m-move on, you know? I'm gonna go get some coffee" you said, walking away before she could press into the matter any further.

Penelope turned to look at Spencer, who quickly pretended he wasn't just looking at that entire interaction and stood up to follow you.

"H-hey."

Spencer's voice startled you as you stood on the counter trying to reach for your mug. Because you jumped a little, you miscalculated where you placed your foot, making you stumble, miss the counter, fall to the ground, and hit your head.

"Shit!" you muttered under your breath.

"Oh my- shit!" he said, walking closer to you and kneeling down to help you. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"I'm f-fine" you said, bringing your hand up to your forehead.

"Why were you on the counter?" Spencer asked confused.

"D-Derek keeps putting my m-mug on the top shelf" you explained, making Spencer feel bad for thinking that it was you who placed it there so he would have to help reach for it.

"How do you know it's him?"

"I just heard him laugh about it with uh- Emily" you said as he helped you up.

"Well, that's mean, why don't you ask him to-?"

"It's fine, S-uh-Reid" you corrected yourself, missing the pain in Spencer's eyes when you didn't call him by his first name. "He only does it so-" you stopped midsentence. You know Derek did that so you would have to ask Spencer for help. They were all in on it. Even Hotch. You were sure. "N-nevermind" you finished.

"Um-" he said awkwardly before he easily reached out for your mug and offered it to you. "Here."

"Thank you" you said, quietly. You then moved over to make your coffee, hoping that Spencer would leave, but of course, he didn't.

"Um- listen, I wanted to apologize to you" he said, making you look back at him.

"You don't have to apologize, R-Reid" you told him.

"Yes, I do" he insisted. "I'm sorry I snapped at you" he said.

"Look, you were stressed, I g-get it. It happens. Honestly, don't worry about it. It's fine-" you said, trying to walk out of the break room, but he blocked your way.

"No, it's not fine" he told you. "While I appreciate you understanding that I was stressed, I still had no right to talk to you that way" he said, quietly. "Or said what I did-"

"It's o-okay" you insisted. And then, you said something that broke Spencer's heart even worse than it already was. "It's not like you're the f-first person to say it. I get it. I can be a lot" you told him.

Spencer was an excellent profiler. Everyone knew that. So, of course, he saw the way you were trying to brush it off as a casual comment. But your eyes were your biggest tell. And he knew that he had struck your weak spot.

"Hey, kids" you were grateful to hear Rossi coming in. "We got a new case. Conference room. Now" he instructed. Spencer sighed and looked at you before he walked out of the break room. "You okay, kid?" David asked, looking at you.

"Yeah" you nodded with a small smile. "Thank y-you."

"Don't mention it" he winked at you as you both made your way out and to the conference room.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The first thing Spencer noticed about the change in your behavior was your stutter. When you started in the BAU, this was the first thing he noticed about you. When you were so nervous to even speak out loud. He also noticed how it lessened once you started feeling more comfortable with the team.

And now, it was back. Not only that but because it was back, you became remarkably more silent. Because he knew this was something you didn't particularly like about yourself. He realized he hadn't paid as much attention to you as he should have. Because he had never really asked you about it, assuming you didn't like talking about the subject.

Also, now that you were not sitting next to him, as you usually did, it was the first time he noticed the way you took notes in your notebook. He saw that you took notes with different colors depending on which one on the team had made the observation. He wasn't sure if each color meant something to each person but he did see that his notes were purple and he wondered if it was a coincidence or if you knew that this was his favorite color.

On the flight, he noticed how quiet you were and that you did not talk unless you were spoken to. Mostly when Hotch would ask about your opinion on something, but other than that, you would only scribble away in your notebook. It killed him. He realized how much your input and your thoughts meant to him. You often participated a lot more even if it was just adding to someone else's comment. But now, it was as if you were almost afraid to speak again. And he knew it was his fault. And he also knew that he wasn't the only one who noticed.

The thing that surprised him the most was when you arrived to interrogate the family of the unsub's latest victim. While Emily and David went to the crime scene, Hotch assigned JJ and Derek to talk to the husband, Spencer and you were assigned to her son. When the kid's father informed you that he was deaf, you smiled kindly at him to let him know that you knew ASL. Spencer looked at you, surprised. He had no idea that you knew sign language. He turned to look at Hotch, who only nodded, meaning he probably knew and that's why he had assigned you to talk to the kid, and he followed you.

He watched you interact with the small scared boy who was about eight years old. Spencer saw his anxious face as the two of you entered the room and walked closer to him.

You knelt down to his level and placed your hand on the table, making him look up at you and you smiled kindly at him.

"Hello" you signed to him before spelling your name while also saying the words so Spencer would understand you. Spencer could tell you somehow felt more relaxed for some reason. "This is Dr. Reid" she introduced him. Spencer saw the boy look quickly at him and then back at you signaling quickly. You chuckled lightly. "No, he's a different kind of doctor" you informed him. "What's your name?" Spencer saw the young boy nervously sign his name and you smiled sweetly at him. "Luke?" you signed back. "Like Luke Skywalker?" you said, making a bright smile appear on the small boy who nodded happily. "You know, he was my favorite character in Star Wars. Dr. Reid made me watch them all" you signed to him.

"I did not" Spencer complained.

"Luke, do you mind if Dr. Reid and I ask you a few questions?" you signaled, ignoring Spencer's comment. Luke then signaled something to you that made you laugh, and it made Spencer realize how much he had missed your laugh. And he couldn't remember the last time you laughed with him.

"What?" he asked, curiously.

"He likes that your socks are different" you informed him, making Spencer smile at Luke.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Realistically this had been one of the shortest cases the team had in a very long time. Thankfully, you were able to catch the unsub on time, and in a couple of days, you were on the jet back home.

But for Spencer, this had felt like the longest case in his career. For some reason, it hadn't dawned on him, until now, how big was your part in his life. He had easily grown accustomed to you being there. Sitting next to him, talking to him about the latest movie you watched or the book he had recommended for you to read. Asking him to teach you to play chess. You were always there for him. He was only now acknowledging how much you actually meant to him. And he had screwed everything up.

"You haven't talked to her yet?" Spencer was snapped out of his thoughts by David, who sat next to him and he looked at him briefly before his eyes traveled back to you.

You were sitting by yourself in the back of the jet, with your headphones on. Aside from him and David, you were the only one that was awake. Even Hotch was at least resting his eyes, which rarely happened.

"She uh-" he cleared his throat. "She doesn't want to talk to me" he said sadly. "And I don't blame her" he told David.

"Well, that's where you apologize, genius" David informed him.

"You don't think I've tried?"

"That day in the break room? That was it?"

"Well, I just..." he sighed. "I don't even know what to tell her anymore. It's like she's a completely different person now" he said.

"So... this whole genius thing, does it not work when it comes to women?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're just realizing this. Now?"

"Realizing what?"

"That you're in love with her" David pointed out.

"What? I'm not- huh-" he chuckled. "I'm not in love with her... am I?"

"You tell me, kid. You're the one that has not been able to stop thinking about her and is desperately trying to get her to forgive you for... whatever it is you said to her" he explained.

"Yes, because it's the right thing to do. I upset her" Spencer said, trying to be logical.

"Yes, but you already apologized once. If it were me, or Hotch, or, Emily, would you still feel the need to apologize to us?"

"I've never said anything that hurtful to either of you. Or to anyone really" he insisted. "And the worst part is that she was just trying to be nice to me. She was the only one that remembered my birthday and all day she had tried to make me feel better" he explained.

"Well, that's what people do for the people they love" David told him.

"W-what?"

"You didn't know that either? You know, I'm starting to doubt if this whole genius is actually true" he laughed, making Spencer glare at him a little.

"She doesn't love me" he insisted. "We're just friends!"

"Uh-huh, so that's the only reason why she's always reading the books you recommend or watching the movies or the shows you like, so she has something to talk to you about" he started. "Or learning new fun facts to tell you about. And did you know that she's actually a really good baker? But for some reason, she only brings banana muffins into the bullpen. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe the first time she brought them in, you casually mentioned that they were your favorite" he explained.

And suddenly, everything made sense to Spencer.

"Why didn't I realize this before?"

"My guess? You took it for granted" Rossi shrugged.

"Well, what do I do now? I just started noticing things that I didn't before. I didn't even know she knew sign language and she..." he looked at you with his eyes filled with sorrow.

"She started stuttering again" David pointed out, making Spencer look down at his lap, sadly. "Do you know why she stutters? Or why she knows ASL?"

"No" Spencer admitted.

"Well, you can maybe start by... asking her" David suggested.

"But isn't that intruding on her personal life?"

"Or... maybe... she would feel like you're finally taking an interest in her" he told him. "You know, as she has been with you all this time" he instructed, grabbing his book and going back to the page he had marked.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hold the elevator!"

After landing, the team still went to the office to finish the case's paperwork. This time, Spencer was the first one to finish, while you were the last one. But he waited until you grabbed your things and made your way out. You held the door of the elevator, cursing a little at yourself for not letting it just close as Spencer walked inside.

"Hi" he said, with a small, awkward wave and you smiled at him. But it wasn't the same smile you always had whenever you saw him and it broke his heart.

"Hi" you said, quietly.

"Did you get to finish all your paperwork?" he asked and you simply nodded. "At least we have to morrow off" he smiled. "Do you have any plans?"

"Um... I don't know" you replied silently, looking down at your hands. Spencer felt a small pain in his heart. You were shutting him out.

"Could you please... look at me?" he said softly, waiting for you to do so but you kept your eyes on your legs. "Look, I am extremely sorry for what I said to you" he stated.

"It's f-fine-"

"No, it's not fine" he insisted before he pressed down the 'Stop' button and the elevator jumped a little before it completely came to a halt.

"S-Spencer, what are you doing?" you asked. He had no idea, but he was back to Spencer so he was not backing up now. "Don't you hate confined spaces?"

"Yes, I'm not particularly fond of them since I got stuck in one with Derek and-"

"Spencer!"

"Sorry, not the point! I need to talk to you, okay? I know you said it was fine but, what I said to you is it's not fine! Firstly, because I was an enormous jerk to you when you were only trying to make me feel better" he continued. "But mostly, because what I said wasn't true. It wasn't true at all! I know what being called something like that feels like. I know you've noticed how everyone reacts when I start rambling about my facts and you always listen to them and even ask me some questions about it even if you are not interested in them. And not just that day but, you've actually been doing this since I met you. And it is so stupid of me to not realize this until now, and I am so sorry and I am an idiot. I know I don't deserve it, but I really hope that you can forgive me. You can take as much time as you need. And I would love to get to know you better because you are honestly one of the most interesting people that I know. I didn't even know you knew ASL and if it wasn't for that and you being able to talk to that little kid, we might have not even been able to solve this case as quickly as we did. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping at you and being an asshole to you. I'm sorry for not paying the attention that you deserve, I'm sorry for taking you for granted, and if you let me, and forgive me, which again, I know I don't deserve, I would really like to make it up to you" he rambled incredibly fast before he pressed the button again and the elevator started moving once more, arriving at your destination. "W-well, I guess that's it" he said, awkwardly as he exited the elevator. "I could walk you to your car if you'd like- or-" he sighed. "N-nevermind" he said, before he turned around and was about to walk away.

"Do you need a ride?" you asked, walking out of the elevator after Spencer and he stopped, looking back at you. "Um- I know that y-you didn't drive today a-and it's on m-my way-"

"I'd love one" Spencer blurted out. You nodded firmly, smiling and walking over to your car with him. The ride was silent. It was too silent for Spencer's liking, but you were slowly talking to him again and he was not going to ruin it by pushing you to talk more than you wanted to. He would take what he could get.

"M-my brother is deaf" you said, suddenly, making Spencer stop and look back at you. "My l-little brother" you continued. "That's why I know sign language" you explained, noticing the hopeful gaze in Spencer's eyes as he looked intently at you. "I learned since I was a kid. M-my dad and my two older brothers were... n-not very nice people" you told him. "After my m-mom passed away, I only talked to m-my little brother" you smiled sadly. "Eventually I s-stopped talking altogether. For years. When I started t-talking again, it came back with a stutter" you told Spencer. "It still comes out when I'm n-nervous" you said.

"I still think it is really impressive that you know ASL" Spencer told you, making a small smile appear on your face. "I'm sure your brother appreciated it too" he said.

"He does" you nodded. "He's actually coming in a f-few weeks to visit" you continued.

"That's great" Spencer said, feeling optimistic that you were opening up to him. "Maybe you can teach me ASL. I have always wanted to learn" he told you.

"Wow" you gasped, dramatically. "Something Dr. Spencer Reid doesn't know that I get to teach him?" you mocked, laughing a little, which was music to Spencer's ears as you parked in front of his home.

"Hey, um... I really don't want to push my luck here but... since we're off tomorrow if... you don't have any plans m-maybe you'd like to go to eat or something?" he asked, nervously. "I mean, if you're not busy. And if you want to, I understand if you prefer to-"

"Um... well" you said, feeling yourself smile at how sweet he looked nervous. "I'm... not doing anything right now. And I'm actually really hungry" you said, looking at him.

"Oh... OH!" Spencer smiled back at you, making you chuckle a little. "Um... would you like to go somewhere? Or we can order something and w-watch a movie" he suggested.

"Takeout and a movie sound nice" you said, turning the car off, and the two of you walked over to Spencer's apartment.

"So, um-" Spencer started, as you noticed he got closer to you and your hands suddenly linked and neither of you bothered to remove it. "Are Fig Newtons really named after a town in Massachusetts and not after the scientist?"

"I think so" you smiled. "I saw it on an episode of the Big Bang Theory."

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: ahhh xD I hope you liked it! :D again, depending on how this goes I might reopen tje Criminal Minds fandom to write more for it :) so, let me know what you think!

[albertdabuttler]

Masked Adversary | D.L.

MASTERLIST

this fics masterlist

Pt. III

fandom: Kick-Ass

pairings: Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass x F!Reader

WARNINGS: cussing, subtle mention of a wound, idk not much else i can think of 🤣

summary: You and Dave have lost a childhood friendship. The circumstances have made you grow to despise one another, until Kick-Ass has no one else to turn to but you, causing him to develop a small crush. The only problem being that you don't know it's him.

WC: 3K

gif not mine LOL!!

A/N: sorry for the delay lovelies, this part is a liiiiittle lame but i promise to give you what you want in the next. Xx

———————

You realized the next day there were a limited number of guys with those beautiful blue eyes and brown hair. Only three of them felt worth considering, for the others had voices that sounded too different or hobbies that contrasted with Kick-Ass’ obvious interests.

On your way to second hour, you noticed one of them walking down the hall as you switched books from your locker. You looked at him, hoping he would notice. He made eye contact with you for a second and smiled, but since you didn’t really know him, he kept on walking.

You thought maybe if that was him then he would have tried to avoid talking to you, for the obvious reason that he couldn’t have you knowing his identity.

You hoped it was that guy rather than any of the others. He was pretty good looking and a few girls you knew had a crush on him. Of course he was oblivious though.

“Hey Cleo.” You smiled as Cleo leaned against the locker next to yours.

“I think I’m getting a Kick-Ass fever.” She spoke. Thinking of the events of the night before, you replied. “How so?”

“I can’t stop thinking about him… And what you told me about him yesterday.”

“Right, yeah…” You chewed the tissue on the inside of your cheek, biting back a grin that dared to creep up on your face knowing you were the girl getting the action with Kick-Ass out of all his fans.

“Anything new happen with him? Did he send you anything on MySpace?” She winked, making you scoff in disgust.

“Um well…”

Cleo lit up in excitement, “What happened!?”

“He got hurt. Like real bad, and I patched him up and…”

“Please tell me what I think you’re gonna say,” She smiled, biting her bottom lip as she gripped your bicep from elation.

“I kissed him…” You smiled, she stared in utter shock but you knew she was happy for you.

“Cleo, promise me you won’t say anything because I really don’t want his fangirls to bombard me with questions only to TP my house.” You looked at her seriously.

“Of course.” She nodded sincerely.

“Was he a good kisser?” She whispered feverishly.

“Well, I could tell he didn’t have that much experience at first, and he even admitted to it, but he got the hang of it really quick.” You giggled. “And… He’s got really nice muscles.” You grinned, Cleo’s eyes widening, “Wait so—“

“He had to take his suit off for me to fix him up.”

The conversation continued as you told her in detail about what happened. You made your way to your next class, spotting Marty, Dave, and Todd walking through the crowd.

“Hey guys,” Spoke Cleo, stopping on the side of the corridor and getting their attention quickly but there was nothing you could do.

“Hi,” You greeted them as well. Dave looked gone. He had incredibly dark circles like he didn’t get any sleep. He also had a bruise forming on his left eye, and a cut on his lip.

“‘Sup.” Todd replied. Marty saluting you as well.

Dave smiled at Cleo, soon turning to you and feeling his knees weaken. He knew he couldn’t act differently, or else you would know. He knew you weren’t stupid.

“Hi.” His voice almost trembling as he swallowed, trying to avoid your gaze.

“Hey asshole.” You said chuckling.

He rolled his eyes and suddenly, he forgot that he made out with you twelve hours ago.

“What happened to your eye…?” You pointed at your own, mirroring the area in which he had the bruise.

“I got jumped again.” He said simply, looking into your eyes in an attempt to make it believable.

He wanted to look away from you, so that you wouldn’t catch on, but he just couldn’t. He noticed how your hair was getting in your face and he just wanted to push it out of the way to look at your pretty face.

Maybe he was spacing out? Probably tired from how much homework he had or something. You assumed lack of sleep from all that was why he looked so drained.

“You guys wanna get coffee at Atomic Comics later?” Cleo asked.

You shot her a look. She looked back, slightly nodding at Todd, whom she had a big crush on, but you knew he wouldn’t pick up on it. And you knew Cleo was too much of a pussy to ask him out alone.

Dave looked at you both, “We have to study for that project thing from sixth period,” pointing between you and himself.

“Right, yeah.” You sighed in annoyance.

He lowered his eyes, noticing your reaction. Okay so clearly you haven’t found out it’s him yet. Maybe if you knew it was him then you’d like him more? That being the answer he preferred, or you’d get really fucking pissed and call him things he wasn’t.

“We gotta get to class, Cleo.” You reminded her, holding onto the strap of your backpack and slowly moving towards the middle of the hall to begin your walk to second period.

"Bye," Dave spoke up, mostly to you, but his voice cracked as he realized he let it slip out.

You turned to him along with the others, the four of you looking at him strangely. His face began heating up from embarrassment so he cleared his throat, biting his lip as he pushed past you to make his way to his next class.

———————

Most of your morning was uneventful as usual, walking past Dave in the halls but it seemed like he lost his breath each time he spotted you. For the first few minutes of lunch, you and Cleo sat with Marty and Todd again, but somehow Dave hadn't joined you yet.

"Yeah, but that's because it's Superman." You heard Cleo state as you were brought back to reality.

"Are there any super heroes who's love interest doesn't like them until they reveal themselves as a super-hero?" Cleo turned to you.

"Uh, yeah I'm pretty sure there are." you answered.

Just then you spotted Dave making his way to your table, an irritated expression on his face.

"What happened to you?" Said Todd.

“The teacher made me go to the counselor's office." He motioned to his face with his index finger.

“Right. What'd she ask you about?" You spoke up as he sat down.

His eyes shot in your direction, almost like he forgot you were there. He swallowed as he answered your question. "She told me I should reach out to an adult if I'm getting mistreated at home or…being…bullied." He spoke like it was the most ridiculous story he'd ever told.

You giggled, "Well, what'd you tell her?"

"That I got jumped? Duh."

“Did you?” You questioned seriously.

He looked at you for a second, “Yeah.” He said simply, hoping you wouldn’t ask any further. Technically, he wasn’t lying. He did get jumped. But not for the sake of being robbed. They were trying to kill him.

“I’m glad you’re okay…I guess.” You admitted, earning looks from everyone else at the table.

Dave had to bite back the widest grin. “Um... Thanks.” He meant it. He obviously couldn’t tell you but you were pretty much the whole reason he was okay with how you stitched him up.

“…What?” You looked back at the other three. “If he wasn’t okay I’d have to do the project all by myself.” You said, trying to crack a joke out of it even if you were serious about him being okay.

“Anyway…” Cleo suddenly perked up, remembering what had happened with Kick-Ass.

“Oh yeah, someone over here has been getting real close with Kick-Ass these past few days.” She nudged your arm, smirking.

“Wait, really?” Marty spoke, “What’s he like, is he like avenging his parents,” he joked, earning a chuckle from Todd. Dave was oddly quiet.

“I dunno. He said he just wanted to see what it was like, I guess? And that he wanted to help people because no one else does.”

“Cute.” Said Cleo.

“Laaaame.” Spoke Marty, Todd soon agreeing with him.

“Didn’t you also kiss him?” Cleo spoke up.

You hit her arm, rolling your eyes as you were faced with having to admit.

“Dude, he's a superhero. He kisses like a ton of girls.”

He didn't know why you had lied about that but was grateful.

“Was he a good kisser?”

You didn’t understand for having to ask all this in front of the small group of boys. What you did know, was that the room got pretty hot with the position you were in.

Dave looked up at you expecting an answer as Todd and Marty watched you disinterested and kept on eating.

“Yeah.” You said.

He felt his stomach twist at your words, locking eyes with you for long enough to feel a blood rush in his face.

“Dave, what exactly did they do to your face? I mean all they had to do was put you on the ground right, not rip your face off.” You asked curiously, suddenly changing the topic.

He was at a loss for words for a minute, mouth vaguely ajar and still trying to recover from the fact you thought he was a good kisser.

“I got punched in the face like five times and I was also st—” He paused, forgetting he got stabbed and that you stitched it up. “stabbed—in the back…” He tried making it sound convincing.

“Right, got it.” You paused. “Do you wanna get a cab home together? Now I’m scared shitless to get one by myself, and you live like right next to me so… We can both avoid getting our asses robbed.” You chuckled.

“Okay…?” He he squinted, glancing at Marty and Todd which looked at him like he was out of his mind.

———————

You’d been sitting on the curb in front of the school, waiting for what had been about half an hour for Dave.

“Hey, sorry. Mr. Duaine wanted to talk with me.” Dave’s familiar voice rang out as he approached you.

“It’s okay. I called a cab a few minutes ago, should be getting here in a bit.” You answered.

Dave sat down next to you, the sun hitting both your heads with a sickening heat. But the silence was peaceful somehow, it didn’t get awkward.

“Hey, Dave?”

He turned his head to look at you, his eyes squinting from the brightness of the sun. But remembering what happened last night, he couldn't keep his gaze on you for too long.

“Hm?”

Chewing on your lip, you held out your hand to him. “Friends?”

He took a moment to look at your hand, lifting his eyes back up at you. He hesitated, and you didn’t blame him. “What?” He looked at you accusingly.

You looked back down at the concrete in front of you, trying to find whatever words you had in the back of your mind to try and explain yourself.

“I…”

You faced him, “I think I don’t hate you that much anymore.”

He let out a soft laugh, “You think?”

You threw a small pebble you found onto the street before you two. “…Sorry I cut you off like that…”

You sighed. “I miss being friends with you. You were my best friend and I shoved it up my ass because you liked a girl and hadn’t even gotten to that point of my life yet...” You paused, “I mean, starting to crush on boys…” you added. “I didn’t understand why you liked her so much when I thought we were supposed to be focused on stupid shit like comics. You grew up before me and it made me feel horrible.”

Dave only stared at you with his lips parted, like he was going to say something, but nothing slipped out. Hearing all this from you made him want to make out with you again.

“Obviously at this point I understand you, but… You didn’t have to push me away, y’know? After a while you kinda just ignored me or turned me down when I wanted to hang out.”

Dave’s heart grew heavier with your words. He never knew how much it affected you, he thought you didn’t care about the friendship you had either and that you just dropped him for no reason. Gosh he was so fucking blind.

“I’m sorry.” He said simply, gazing at the ground in front of him.

“I miss being friends with you too.” Dave finally brought his eyes to yours, giving you a soft, but guilty smile.

“I’m sorry I treated you like that. I mean, you’re the only friend I had for that long. You were also the only girl I could talk to without embarrassing myself.” He paused, turning to you and seeing your eyebrows furrowed.

“Wait—“ His eyes widened, “that—that sounds wrong—I mean, you… I—I don’t like you like that, um… I was just wanting to say that—since I could talk to you, I…” He still wasn’t getting his point across and only embarrassed himself further.

“Fuck, I… You know what I meant.“ He chuckled awkwardly.

“Yes, I get your point, Dave.” You chuckled.

“Okay, good.” he breathed, scoffing at himself but his face flushed red.

"Are you blushing?" You felt your heart skip before biting back a laugh, considering that everything he said was ridiculous. “Two years without me and you already miss me so much you get a crush on me?” You finally giggled.

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes at your laughter, “Gross.”

“You asshole!” you smacked his arm.

He let himself laugh along with you, until suddenly his mind began flooding with thoughts of how you kissed him the night before. How soft and warm your lips were, how your hands felt touching his chest, playing with his hair. How he was resisting so hard not to tell you who he was and that he knew you, not to beg you to touch him in ways he’s never been touched before.

He did think of you that way although he’d never admit it out loud.

“Whatever.” You scoffed, completely oblivious to the fact that, in reality, this boy was head over heels for you.

“Fine.” He held his hand out like you had just done for him, “Friends. I guess.” He playfully rolled his eyes and you took it with no hesitation, giving him a firm shake.

“So uh,” he began as he let go of your hand, “You and Kick-Ass.” He hid a smile.

You scoffed, “What, are you jealous?” you smirked.

“Ew.” He scorned. “The way you talked about him at lunch, thanks for giving me something to relentlessly make fun of you for. Imagine liking a guy you don’t even know.” he teased. But you could have him all you wanted. You did have him, all to yourself, unbeknownst to you.

“Shut up, Dave! It’s not like I’m in love with him. I don’t think I’d even date him...” You laughed

He took a nervous breath, like somehow you could read his mind, that he was practically lying to you and you knew.

In the current moment he wanted to kiss you like he did yesterday. So perilously. But not just kiss you, he wanted to love you. He kept watching you as your laugh died down and you smiled, looking elsewhere. A smile threatened to break upon his lips because of how pretty you looked and that beautifully contagious smile.

Dave was snapped from his thoughts as he heard a car approaching, looking in the direction of the cab as it pulled up in front of the two of you. The boy stood up first, quickly grabbing your hand to pull you up, and surprisingly, he opened the door for you. You decided to scoot all the way to the other side so that he wouldn’t have to walk around.

“Where to?”

————

Not long passed before you were dropped off at the entrance to your neighborhood.

“Thank you!” You called, Dave paying the driver what was due as she drove away.

“Thanks for getting that.” You told Dave, grateful that he had payed for you.

“Yeah…” He replied, adjusting his backpack as he turned to walk next to you. You heard a quiet wince and noticed a little grimace on his face.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m good.” He replied quickly, squirming in his place.

"You sure?" You watched him with a look of concern.

"Yeah, just a bruise from yesterday."

You only nodded, beginning to walk down the sidewalk to get home.

"So..." Dave began speaking after a moment, although the silence was comfortable, he still wanted to talk to you.

"Were you able to get any part of the project done last night?" You asked.

"I stayed up super late writing my part. What about you?"

You didn't realize that 'late' meant he was up until 2 AM because of everything that had happened.

"I started kind of early but..." You paused, remembering how Kick-Ass had gotten hurt. "Some...stuff happened and I got distracted... I only got to write like two paragraphs."

He smiled, he got you so distracted that you couldn't even finish your homework. He felt proud to be so memorable as Kick-Ass.

"What happened?" He asked this out of 'curiosity.'

"Uh my friend called and we were talking all night..." You lied.

"Oh, alright." He bit back a smile.

"What about you? Why were you up so late?"

"I was just... I had some stuff to take care of with my dad a—and we got home kind of late, so…”

“Mm.” You nodded.

As you stepped foot on your porch, you turned to salute Dave until you saw him later.

“Just come over at like seven.” You suggested, smiling and sending a small wave soon after.

“Okay, see you.” He subtly sized you up, flashing his dimpled smile before walking back to his own home.

Since when was his smile so attractive?

———————

Thank you for reading!

tagging everyone who asks for it 🤣

@lizzxoxo @kenmaisbae

[cutielando]

Hi ! hope you're having a great day/evening/night,

I had an idea for a smau with someone on the f1 grid (it can be anyone but I have a preference for either Oscar or Logan), so I'm a fan of the bands Ghost and Sleep Token, which is something so very different from f1 and I kept wondering what would happen if those fandom where to merge together, so the request basically is that the reader is in a band like ghost or sleep token and they're dating one of the guys on the grid, and so those 2 very different fandom meet,

so like how would they interact and all, or maybe there would be some people that are in both fandoms, idk

there's no pressure for you to make it if you have no idea of how to do it or if you simply don't want to <3

a/n: thank you so much for requesting!!❤️ i’m a little out of my element on this one so i apologize if it doesn’t end up exactly as you imagined it, but i hope you like it !!

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sleep_token Another night to remember

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yourusername such a unique experience 🤍

sleepingdreaming sleep token never disappoints

sleep_token We live to please.

sleepingdreaming 😭😭i can die happy now

user1 they are really something

logansargeant very special night indeed 😮‍💨

user2 excuse me? LOGAN SARGEANT AT A SLEEP TOKEN CONCERT?

user3 their concerts seem so much fun :(((

user4 they are the best, the energy they being to every performance is like nothing i have ever seen before

user5 does anyone know who the members are?

user4 no, they’re completely anonymous. the only thing we could really say is that they have a girl and the rest of them are men but that’s kinda it 😅

user6 super amazing night ❤️❤️

liked by f1wags, sleepingdreaming and 10,184 others

formula1gossippofficial New couple alert? 🚨 Logan Sargeant and Oscar Piastri were spotted attending a Sleep Token concert last night in Australia. The McLaren driver was seen getting cozy with an unknown woman the entire night and reports said they disappeared from the concert together in the late hours of the night. What do we think? 🤔

view all 1,925 comments

user1 maybe we should let him live his life?

user2 i never thought i would hear Oscar Piastri and Sleep Token used in the same sentence 😅

sleepingdreaming i can confirm they were there, seemed to have had a lot of fun as well

user3 is it true that he was with a girl there?

sleepingdreaming yes, they seemed very close too. logan seemed to be more of a third wheel than anything else to be honest 😂

op81fan she must be very special to make Oscar go out and stay that late on a race weekend🤔🤔

user4 the fact that he never goes out before a race and now he did and was seen with a girl in public makes me think she is hella special 👀

iMessage

yourname❤️

did you see the pictures?

oscar🐨❤️

i did

i’m sorry, i should have known there were gonna be paparazzi all over town last night

yourname❤️

babe, i don’t mind

i wanna be seen with you

i just don’t want people to figure out i’m in the band or anything, it would ruin the whole anonymity thingy lol

oscar🐨❤️

i’ll protect you❤️

i’ll make sure nobody figures it out

yourname❤️

in the meantime, wanna have some fun with the fans?😈

oscar🐨❤️

what did you have in mind?

yourname❤️

😈😈👀👀👀

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yourusername melbourne, you're a gem

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yourbff damn girl

yourusername

logansargeant i see what you did there

yourusername impressive, right?

oscarpiastri must be a special city

yourusername some pretty special fellas roaming around the streets as well

oscarpiastri that's really interesting. tell me more

yourusername that would be inappropriate

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oscarpiastri music is cool‼️

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user1 OSCAR???????

user2 WHO IS THAT?????

logansargeant you're getting better at this

oscarpiastri i've been taking lessons to make sure i don't screw it up😃

yourusername damn ;)

oscarpiastri 😈

sleepingdreaming this fandom merge is wiiiiiild

user3 DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T???

sleepingdreaming maybeeeee...👀👀

user4 i never thought i would see Oscar being into rock

landonorris i don't believe that's you

oscarpiastri you can believe whatever you want

landonorris hmmm

yourusername you better believe it😮‍💨

landonorris you could spare me the details, thank you

mclaren We didn't know how to feel about this, but we're starting to love it!🧡 liked by oscarpiastri and yourusername

iMessage

yourname❤️

do you think we should tell them?

oscar🐨❤️

do you want to tell everyone?

i completely understand if you’re not ready yet

it’s a lot of pressure being seen with me

the fans are crazy

yourname❤️

have you seen my fans, babe?😂

they are just like yours, if not worse sometimes

they just want to protect both of us

oscar🐨❤️

so you want to make things official?

come to the paddock as my girlfriend?

yourname❤️

i think it's time we tell the world

it just sucks nobody in your world is really going to know who i am

oscar🐨❤️

i thought your friends didn't know who you are?

yourname❤️

they have suspicions

i think that deep down, they know who we all are

but nobody says anything because we've built our image on being anonymous

it's like knowing but without saying it out loud, you know

oscar🐨❤️

so your fans will know you're dating an F1 driver but mine won't know i'm dating the lead singer of Sleep Token?

yourname❤️

pretty much, yeah

oscar🐨❤️

so cool❤️

okay, i'll post a picture of us then

yourname❤️

be careful which pictures you post

i wanna look good :(

oscar🐨❤️

babe

you look good in every photo i have of you

yourname❤️

awwwwwww

i love you my koala bear🐨🐨❤️

oscar🐨❤️

i love you too my rockstar girl❤️

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oscarpiastri got bored of soft-launching tagged: yourusername

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yourusername staaaaawp

yourusername i love you so much ❤️❤️

oscarpiastri i love you more 🧡

logansargeant i’m surprised you managed to keep it a secret for this long to be honest

oscarpiastri you need to stop underestimating me, you know

yourusername i didn’t think we would be able to pull it off either…

oscarpiastri ⁉️⁉️

yourusername sorryyyyyyyyy

landonorris i am very hurt that i wasn’t aware you are in a relationship

yourusername we were literally introduced…

oscarpiastri i literally told you about her

landonorris …oh

yourbff my favorite couple ❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️

nicolepiastri i can’t wait to see you guys tonight!!❤️

yourusername we can’t wait either!!!❤️

user1 I KNEW IT

user2 ITTY BITTY OSCAR HAS A GF????😭😭

sleepingdreaming ❤️ i love seeing it

user3 WHAT DO YOU KNOW???????

sleepingdreaming i can’t say 🥲🫶🏻

user4 THEY ARE SO CUТЕ😭❤️❤️❤️

user5 he looks so happy 🥹🥹

georgerussell63 she’s really a gem

oscarpiastri she’s amazing, isn’t she? so talented as well

yourusername you’re making me blush 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

user6 never thought i would see Oscar dating a rocker girl

user7 why not? he loves her regardless of that

user6 i know !!! i didn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just really cute how they seem to be opposites but getting along great

user8 she really seems to be helping Oscar get out of his comfort zone

sleep_token ❤️ liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri

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[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Let Me Take Care of You

Pairing: JoeQuinnxReader

Summary: I couldn't stop thinking about how that man needed someone to take care of him after such a long day. And I know how much he cares about his fans. He was so kind but toward the end, everybody was rushed, and I have no doubt he wished he could have taken more time. So, fic idea popped into my head because...yeah, he looked so damn good on Sunday. You're dating Joe and after the chaos of the day, you just want to help your man.

18+ only

The hotel room door opened and in came Joe, looking absolutely drained and exhausted. It had been a whirlwind of a weekend. The U.S. Embassy had misplaced his passport and he almost missed the con in Philly, disappointing thousands of fans. At the last minute, everything worked out, but he’d had to cram three days worth of autographs and photo ops into one day, showing up early and staying late. You’d offered to tag along but he’d insisted on you relaxing as you’d had a late flight the night before and he had his friend, Ollo, there to be by his side throughout the day. Joe was also nervous how his fans might treat you if they found out he was seeing someone. The two of you had kept it under wraps the last few months when you’d seen how some of the fandom had treated Grace. It was awful that someone so sweet had to deal with that kind of toxicity. 

You knew Ollo would take care of Joe, making sure he hydrated, got something to eat, and at least got a couple of smoke breaks to keep his nerves steady. But that didn’t stop you from worrying all day. You’d been checking your phone, seeing all the photos people were posting. It hadn’t gone without notice that as the day wore on, Joe’s smile wasn’t quite as wide, those eyes weren’t quite as soft as usual. 

You set your phone down, sitting up as he let out a large sigh, dropping onto the edge of the bed in front of you. You gripped the leather jacket in your hands, sliding it down his arms and tossing it onto the chair in the corner. Using your fingers, you kneaded the tense muscles of his shoulders, relishing the pleased groan he released. Your fingers continued, moving along his back and you rested your chin gently on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. Joe’s hand came to cradle your cheek, his thumb running over your jaw. 

“Long day, baby?” you asked.

“The longest,” he answered. “We managed to get everyone done but as the day wore on, they were making me rush. I felt so bad because I couldn’t chat with people or do the poses they wanted. They were telling people no hugs. I feel like they left disappointed.”

“Oh Joe, no,” you assured him, your thumb pressing into a tight knot you felt in his low back. “Your fans understand. I saw so many of the posts today and they were so grateful they had the chance to see you, that you managed to make it even if it was for one day. They understood. None of this was your fault. It sucks that you had to rush people but if you didn’t, everyone might not have gotten their chance to see you.”

“I know, darling. I just hate feeling like I didn’t give them a great experience. And it was such a long day…”

“Did you get a lunch break?”

“Yes, I did,” Joe chuckled, tilting his head, resting it against yours. “I ate, love, no worries. Ollo kept checking in on how much water I was drinking. I got three smoke breaks. It was just a lot. The panel actually felt like a break. I got to sit on a couch and have a good chat. They asked about the Kas theory again.”

You laughed, “Of course they did. Your fans want you back for season five badly. I’m sorry it was such a long day. I know this isn’t how you wanted it, but I am glad Ollo took care of you. Him and I would be having words if not.”

“I have no doubt, my sweet girl. Everyone took very good care of me today.”

“Mmm…well, maybe, but I haven’t had my turn.”

“You’re taking care of me right now,” Joe insisted. “Thank you for the back rub. Standing on that concrete was killer by the end of the day.”

“Oh, I think I can do more than that. My poor boy needs to relax,” you crooned, winding your arms around him, pulling him until he was lying back on the bed. You straddled him, your knees cradling his thighs. “Let me help you relax.”

Joe’s eyebrows raised, a smirk appearing on those sweet, full lips, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, bringing your lips to his. 

His arms locked around you, crushing your body against his. Your tongue slid along his bottom lip and he caught it with his lips, gently sucking before slipping his tongue along yours, eliciting a gentle moan. You rocked your hips, rubbing your core along his length, your tongue exploring his mouth, loving the sounds of pleasure that rumbled up from his chest. 

“Let’s lose this shirt,” you whispered, sitting up and pulling the plain black tee over his head, tossing it across the room. 

“And what about your shirt?”

“This isn’t about me right now,” you grinned, your lips tracing the line of his jaw, down the side of his neck. Jesus, he smelled like heaven. “I'm taking care of you, remember?” Your lips continued their path, over his collarbone, nipping gently, his hips thrusting up into yours, creating delicious friction against your already pulsing center. 

“Seeing your tits would take care of me. Nothing makes me happier than your jubblies smothering my face.”

“Uh-uh…not yet, my beautiful boy. You just lay back and relax. Let me do all the work tonight.”

You placed open mouthed kisses over his chest, teeth grazing over his nipples. His hand cradled the back of your neck, a low growl falling from his lips. As your tongue flicked over one nipple and then the other, your fingers worked his belt and then the button on his jeans. You continued to slide down his body, placing your feet on the floor. Your tongue followed a path over his abdomen, following the trail of coarse hairs that led right where you intended to go as you gripped his jeans and boxers at the same time, dragging them down his legs and over his feet until he was completely bare to you, his cock standing at attention, pre-cum glistening along the tip. 

Kneeling down in between his legs, you gently raked your nails over his thighs and his hips rolled towards you in response, his body letting you know exactly what he needed. Your tongue darted out, capturing the salty release that had already collected. 

“Fuck, darling…” he hissed. “Don’t tease. Please.”

“No worries, baby. I am going to help ease all your stress.”

You wrapped your lips around him, working his length, taking as much of him as your throat would allow. He grunted deeply, one hand tangling in your hair as he thrust up into your mouth, the tip of his cock scratching the back of your throat. Wrapping your hand around the base, you moved along him, using your mouth and hand, pleasure shooting to your core as you listened to this beautiful man coming undone because of what you were doing to him. 

Sometimes you pinched yourself because you could not believe he was all yours. But here he was, completely at your mercy, groaning, gasping, writhing, and you were the cause of it. You were the one who could help him, who could ease his stress, who could make him feel good. It was a goddamn high. 

“Bloody hell…so sodding good…don’t stop, love…just like that…” he panted. 

Your other came up to cradle his balls, rolling them along your palm like a pair of dice. Joe growled low, the hand in your hair tightening, pulling, his other hand slamming down against the mattress. Your tongue ran along each side of his cock before taking him fully in your mouth again as you tugged down gently on his balls, squeezing them gently, applying just the right amount of pressure. 

“Fuck!” Joe shrieked, bucking up into your mouth as he held your face tightly against him, his release flooding your mouth. His entire body shook beneath you as he went rigid, helpless grunts and moans rolling out of him. 

As he relaxed, you carefully released him from your mouth, swallowing and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Standing, you smiled down at him, holding his eyes with yours as you slowly removed your shirt, followed by your shorts and panties until you were naked in front of him. Joe’s eyes traveled the length of you, devouring you with his gaze, sending a shock of desire straight to your center, pulsing with need. 

You crawled over the top of his body and his hands immediately fell upon you, roaming over your sides, your hips, the curves of your breasts. He grabbed your hips, sliding you up his body until your breasts were directly over his face and then he buried himself between them, deeply moaning, his hands pressing them together against his face. 

“Fuck, I love these tits,” he sighed, his mouth exploring every inch, tongue and teeth teasing your nipples into hard little buds. 

“Joe,” you breathed, sliding your wetness over his cock until it was hard, ready to go once again. The feel of his erection pressing against your clit had you whimpering, eager for him to fill you. 

His hand slid between your bodies, his thumb moving over your clit and you gasped, back arching as you pressed your hands against his chest, sitting up. Joe started with slow circles, moving faster and faster until you were gasping for breath. 

“So wet already, darling and I barely did anything for you.”

“Taking care of you works me up,” you breathed, struggling to speak against the intense pleasure coursing through your body as his circles grew smaller, focusing right on your pleasure button. “The way you sound…knowing I can do that…it’s so damn hot. Fuck, I need your cock.”

Reaching between you, you grabbed his cock, lowering yourself onto him slowly until your pelvises were flush together. The two of you moaned simultaneously as you began to slowly rotate your hips in a circle, his cock hitting all the right places that had your stomach tensing, already so close as his thumb continued working magic on you.

“Shit, darling…that’s so good,” Joe praised. “I love watching you ride me.” His free hand caressed your face, thumb running over your lower lip and you caught it between your lips, sucking it into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

You sighed, releasing his thumb as you rocked back and forth, hands gripping his shoulders for purchase as you picked up the pace. Joe’s chest rose and fell heavily as he quickly raced toward another climax, his cock twitching within you as you rolled over him. His thumb began moving back and forth, faster over your clit, and you knew he was determined to get you to cum before he did. 

“Come on, my beautiful girl,” he urged, one hand now gripping your hip as he moved with you. “Cum for me, darling. Let me see how fucking beautiful you are when you let go.”

“Joe…I…fuck!” you cried, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders as you shuddered on him, your climax crashing over you. 

“That’s it…yes, love,” he grunted, gripping both of your hips, thrusting up into you hard, taking over as you lost all control, moaning his name over and over. Joe’s fingertips dug into your flesh as he held you against him, filling you with his release. “Jesus Christ, darling…” He sighed, falling back on the bed. 

You fell forward onto his chest, nuzzling his neck, “Do you feel more relaxed, beautiful boy?”

“So relaxed,” he murmured sleepily. “Fuck, you took everything out of me, love.” His arms wrapped around you and his lips pressed against your forehead. “I am going to sleep like a goddamn baby.”

“Good,” you replied, kissing his shoulder. “I’ll clean us up and tuck you all in.”

You went into the bathroom, getting a warm washcloth that you used to clean the two of you. Joe laid still, eyes closed, breathing deep as you gently wiped him. You tossed the washcloth back in the bathroom and then had to work to get him turned in the bed the right way as he was not much help. Your poor boy was so damn tired. 

Laying down next to him, you pulled the blanket over both of you and he whimpered softly in his sleepy state, hands reaching out for you. Joe was a cuddler, always the big spoon. Smiling, you slid toward him with your back to him, those strong arms encasing you, pressing you against his chest, wrapping himself around your body. You sighed happily, burrowing into his arms, inhaling the soothing scent of your favorite person on this planet. 

“I love you,” you whispered. “Good night.”

“Mmm…love you…” he mumbled. “Night love.”

[cosmicjoke]

The Psychological and Emotional Impact of Levi’s Early Childhood:

I don’t think Levi’s early childhood really gets discussed enough in the fandom, or the ways in which those experiences in his formative years had to have impacted him.  This could be because we don’t really get many panels depicting his childhood.  Just a few.  But those few panels show us enough for us to extrapolate plenty and form a pretty clear picture of what he went through.

First of all, it’s almost a certainty that Levi was born as the result of rape. 

That’s something that I think everyone should let sink in.

He was born in the brothel that his mother, Kuchel, worked in.  And “worked” is a relative term here.  Kuchel was driven into the Underground as a result of persecution by the royal family.  She was undoubtedly very young, she was alone, with no real resources or support or guarantee of safety or protection from anyone, in an environment of criminality and violence.  There were likely very few, if any options available to her in terms of her own survival.  Her becoming a prostitute wouldn’t have been any kind of a choice then, but rather a move made in desperation.  And so I think we can also safely assume that Kuchel’s experiences working as a prostitute were tantamount to forced labor.  In other words, a kind of slavery.  She was almost certainly paid a paltry sum by the brothels owner, evidenced by the sorry, squalid and destitute state we see her and Levi living in when Kenny comes.  She was likely afforded very few, if any rights or defenses against whatever her clients chose to do to her, as also evidenced by the fact that no one seemed to really know or care enough about her or Levi to even realize when she had died. 

It’s impossible for me to define any of what Kuchel went through working in such a place as anything less than rape, then.

So, Levi’s very existence is one that is a literal product of violence.  I’m absolutely sure that Levi himself is painfully aware of this, knowing that he was born out of his own mother’s pain and suffering.  Going into the implications of this on Levi’s psychological health, I think you can safely assume this realization had a very negative impact on his own sense of self-worth.  His mother was the only person in his childhood who we ever saw treat him with any kind of actual love or kindness.  The only person who ever, actually wanted him.  And yet, Levi would have seen demonstrated to him, every day, how his existence in his mothers life placed an increased burden on her, forcing her into increasingly more desperate circumstances, now having to feed two mouths instead of only one, and as a result, likely having to engage in increased, unwanted sexual activity with her clients.  So Levi would be aware that not only was his mother, (again, the only person who loved and treated him with tenderness) being hurt on his behalf, but he also would have been aware, after witnessing the particular ways in which she was being hurt, that he himself was the result of that violence.  Levi would have been shown that his very existence, then, was something which caused immense suffering and pain to the only person in his life who loved him.  I honestly can’t even imagine the negative implications of something like this on a young mind.  Only to say, it must have been horrific and resulted in lifelong trauma.  Trauma which, due to the desperation of Levi’s life afterward, he likely never had any opportunity or chance to even address. 

Now, moving on to something else.  There’s a tendency by many to paint Kuchel as this sort of perfect mother figure.  Someone who, through the power of her love for Levi alone, was able to overcome the trauma of their general circumstances, to negate the negative experiences he would have been exposed to, resulting in Levi becoming the kind and compassionate person he would be as an adult.  But I think this assumption about Kuchel and their situation is not only unrealistic and idealized in the extreme, but also in its way, undermines the actual bleakness of their circumstances.

Again, we have to remember that Kuchel was driven into the Underground, and essentially forced, through lack of any other options, to become a prostitute.  Calling her a prostitute is a nice way of saying she had to sell herself into sexual slavery.  Kuchel’s own psychological and emotional trauma doesn’t often get touched upon or acknowledged when people talk about her and her relationship with her son, nor does the desperate poverty of their living situation.  Kuchel died right in front of Levi, and we can assume with pretty good accuracy that she either died from a sexually transmitted disease, or that she died from malnutrition and starvation.  These weren’t two people, then, who were living a comfortable or secure life.  In fact, the very opposite.  Levi was starving to death when Kenny found him.  It’s easy enough to assume from his state of general neglect and starvation that Kuchel, at the very least, was struggling to provide for him.  Not just food, but any kind of comfort or care.  Clothing, warmth, protection, cleanliness, and very likely even, affection.  This isn’t a knock on Kuchel’s worth as a mother, or her parenting.  She was, undoubtedly, doing the best she could given the circumstances.  But, again, this particular aspect of their lives isn’t touched on nearly enough.  Kuchel died out of neglect, impoverishment, desperation and abuse.  Given what we can assume her day to day life was like, having to let men come and sexually assault her just to keep herself and her son alive, one has to also consider the emotional and mental toll this sort of existence would eventually have on her.  She had to have been exhausted, both mentally and physically.  You add to this the always uncertain and present reality of whether either her or Levi would even be able to eat on any, given day, whether she would be able to keep her son from starving to death, and you can start to form a clear idea of how things like “playtime” or “fun”, or freely given and enthusiastic love and affection, would be, tragically, low on the list of priorities.  Their situation was absolutely a situation of survival, first and foremost.  Luxuries weren’t a part of their lives.  Anyone who’s ever experienced extreme deprivation, poverty and desperation on the level in which Kuchel and Levi were living would know that those material realities absolutely have a negative impact on one’s ability to simply live.  To be happy.  To indulge in fantasy.  To indulge in luxury.  To indulge in any kind of relaxation or ease of living.  It’s nice to imagine that Kuchel was always able to show Levi love and affection.  To always be a kind, caring and generous mother to him.  But that perception of their lives together ignores the bleak and harsh reality of what was really going on.  More likely than not, Kuchel was often too exhausted and in bad, physical shape herself to play with Levi, to pay attention to Levi, to indulge in Levi.  It was everything she could do, after all, to simply keep Levi alive, let alone healthy and happy.  Kenny described Levi, when he first took him in, as the most unfriendly kid he’d ever met.  We rarely see Levi speak at all in those early days with Kenny.  That doesn’t speak to someone who is well adjusted socially.  That doesn’t speak to someone who received a lot of open love and affection in the formative years of his childhood.  Again, this isn’t to criticize or undermine Kuchel’s abilities as a mother.  It’s simply acknowledging the tragic reality, that someone in Kuchel’s position, living the kind of life she was living, wouldn’t have had the luxury of being for Levi everything he needed her to be. 

This also leads me into another point I don’t think I’ve ever seen discussed, and that has to do with Kuchel’s decision to have Levi at all, and how that choice is, simultaneously, both entirely selfless, and entirely selfish. 

Kenny tells his grandfather that he tried to talk Kuchel out of having her baby, trying to explain to her how bringing a baby into the kind of situation she was living in wasn’t viable.  It was only going to make, not only her own life worse, but in turn, the baby’s life was going to be awful too.  We later see, in Kenny’s memories, a scene in which Kuchel is holding Levi as a newborn against her chest and crying tears of happiness.  Kenny recalls this as part of his monologue about dreams, and the desperation of dreams, and the ability of dreams to corrupt us.  This is important to acknowledge.  Because again, while Kuchel’s intentions in giving birth to Levi were pure, and her love for him was absolutely pure and genuine, still, she DID bring him into a situation of extreme poverty, desperation and violence.  In a way, Kuchel prioritized her dream of motherhood not only over her own well being (this being the selfless aspect of her decision), but also over Levi’s well being (this being the selfish aspect).  She knew her own living situation was terrible, filled with suffering, cruelty and pain.  She knew this, and she was aware, from Kenny’s own words, that bringing a child into that situation was only going to make things worse, for both of them.  But she chose to do it anyway.  She chose to give birth to Levi, and to keep him, knowing the sort of deprivation and desperation he would be exposed to.  Knowing the kind of violence and cruelty and ugliness he would be exposed to, being born and raised in a brothel, in which she was working as a prostitute, relegated to a single room with him in it. 

Chances are high, extremely high, that Levi saw his mother raped.  Maybe she sent him out of the room when she was with clients.  But maybe she wasn’t able to.  We never see any evidence of Levi having ever left their single room as a child, and even if he had, the building they were in was a brothel, catering to men seeking and paying for the sexual services of women.  It isn’t an environment that is, in any way, suited to a child, friendly to a child, or even tolerant of a child.  It’s almost 100% certain that Levi was, at one time or another, exposed to sexual violence against women, whether it was his own mother, or someone else.  He would have been exposed to violence in general too, because men who sexually assault women are also very likely to physically assault them.  I don’t think it’s any kind of a stretch, even, to assume that Levi himself might have been on the receiving end of physical violence, at the least, in a place like that.  Men who wouldn’t want some little kid around while they force themselves on the women there probably would have little qualm with hitting Levi to make him go away. 

Again, going back to Levi’s “unfriendliness” when Kenny first takes him in, I think we can extrapolate that a lot of what Kenny was perceiving as unfriendly behavior was in fact just Levi being withdrawn.  He seemed sullen and mute to Kenny.  We see this in children who have been abused.  They tend to go within themselves and make themselves as unobtrusive as possible, not wanting to draw attention to themselves, because whenever they have, it’s always resulted in them somehow being hurt.  Levi’s body language when Kenny first meets him speaks to this as well.  He’s curled against the wall opposite his mother’s bed, literally making himself as small as possible, his knees hugged to his chest, his head bowed close to them, etc...  Like he’s trying to hide.  Again, it doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to assume that Levi fell victim to the violence of the men who frequented that place.  The Underground in general was filled with violent and cruel men who made a living out of criminality, who in fact wouldn’t think twice about committing murder, etc... 

This is the world Kuchel brought Levi into.  A world of physical and sexual violence, a world of depravity and illness, a world of poverty and starvation.  Kuchel loved Levi with all her heart.  That isn’t for a moment in doubt.  But by choosing to have him and keep him, she also trapped him into a life of pain and suffering of his own.

Kuchel had to know, if anything were to happen to her, that Levi’s chances of survival were next to none.  He was helpless without her, and that too is evidenced by the fact that, when Kenny finds them, Levi is literally starving to death.  He’s just sitting there, resigned to his fate.  There’s no indication whatsoever that Levi ever even left their room to seek food, or help of any kind.  He just sat there, trapped with his mother’s rotting corpse, waiting to die.  And nobody there cared enough to even check on him or his mother in the span of time between when she fell ill and when she died.  Nobody there cared enough about either of their lives to see if they were okay, and we can assume, because Levi didn’t seek anyone’s help, that he didn’t think anyone would help him, which tells us all we need to know about how he and his mother were generally treated in that place.  Kuchel must have known, as she was dying, that without her, Levi was going to die too.  She had no way and no cause to know or think that Kenny would come by to rescue him.  And, indeed, if Kenny hadn’t shown up right when he did, Levi almost certainly would have died in that room with her.  I can’t even imagine the pain this must have caused her, knowing she was dying, and knowing as a result, that her son was going to die too.  It would have been unbearable.  But again, this is also the risk Kuchel took when she chose to give birth to and keep Levi.  She knew this was a possibility.  That her child would die a slow and painful death without her there to protect and take care of him.

So this sort of sunny, idealistic picture that tends to get painted of Levi’s life with his mother seems both unrealistic and unfair to them in terms of understanding their actual situation.  This wasn’t a happy or good life they were living together.  It was a life full of misery and pain.  Levi’s monologue later on to the 104th recruits, about not knowing if you’ll wake up and get to eat that day, or if your friends will still be alive, wasn’t just a reflection on their lives living with the threat of titans.  It was a reflection of his own life living in the Underground, living a life surrounded by poverty and violence and uncertainty.  That was Levi’s existence for the first 25 years of his life.  That was Levi’s childhood.  Violence and starvation, cruelty and deprivation.  Kuchel’s love, as pure and as genuine as it was, wasn’t enough on it’s own to overcome the scars of all that. 

One last note to end this on. 

There’s also a tendency to paint Kenny’s rescue of Levi as this very heroic and selfless act on Kenny’s part.  A moment in which Levi was pulled from the jaws of certain death and given a chance to live by his uncle.  And while, yes, Kenny certainly did save Levi’s life and give him that chance, I think it’s also important to acknowledge that Kenny’s treatment of Levi was abusive, and ultimately caused him more harm than good.  Kenny, we have to remember, went down to the Underground to rescue Kuchel.  He went to that brothel with the intention of pulling her out and bringing her to live back up on the surface, able to do so now that he had ended the persecution of their family through his connection with Uri Reiss.  But by the time he got there, Kuchel was dead, and she’d left behind her only child in Levi.  Kenny could have so easily brought Levi up to the surface with him, the way he’d been planning on doing with Kuchel, and given him a good and happy life.  He could have saved him from the hell of living in the Underground City.  A world of perpetual darkness, a world of constant danger and desperation and illness.  People talk about how Kenny gave Levi the tools to survive in such a harsh environment, and treat this as if it’s something to somehow be applauded and praised.  But Kenny shouldn’t have had to teach Levi to survive in a cut-throat environment at all.  He’d made it possible for those with the Ackerman name to live free of persecution up above.  He could have easily taken Levi with him and given him a good, traditional education, fed and clothed him, given him shelter, given him the chance to grow up in fresh air and sunlight, given him a chance to make friends with other children, to learn social skills and just live a normal existence with the opportunity to actually be happy.  But instead Kenny chose to keep Levi in the Underground, to teach him how to kill, to teach him to be violent, and not much else, before simply abandoning him there and never going back, forcing Levi to survive on his own in the most dangerous place inside the walls.  What Kenny did to Levi wasn’t a kindness.  A kindness would have been rescuing Levi from the Underground entirely and giving him a real life above.  A kindness would have been Kenny giving to Levi what he’d planned on giving to his sister.  But Kenny was too selfish to do that, and that’s the bottom line.  He didn’t want to have to take care of and raise a child.  He didn’t want the responsibility.  Whether that’s tied to Kenny’s own, negative perception of himself or not doesn’t matter.  He still chose not to take Levi with him and give him a real life because actually caring for and raising a child would have been too hard, too much work, too much responsibility.  By leaving Levi there in the Underground, he sent Levi the message, clear as day, that he wasn’t wanted.  And so Levi spent the entirety of his childhood, and a good portion of his adulthood, believing that, and living in the Underground, living a life of violence and desperation and suffering.

I don’t think the suffering Levi went through as a child gets discussed or acknowledged enough, or examined enough.  I don’t think people often look at it with enough objective realism to realize the extreme harm and trauma Levi experienced and was left with.  It’s genuinely a miracle that Levi turned out the way he did.  That Levi is as good a man as he is.  Nothing in his life growing up can really account for that.  Everything in his life growing up would evince that he should have become the sort of man Kenny was, selfish and cruel.  It’s truly against all odds that Levi became the exact opposite.  Selfless in the extreme, kind, caring and compassionate above and beyond anyone else in the series.  Someone who fights for and gives his life in dedication to the dreams and lives of others.

In many ways, Levi is, himself, the greatest miracle of all.

[aroaceking01]

Truly heartbreaking to see so many young fans - majority of them being girls - not sending support to Caiti, Shelby, Andi and to everyone else coming forward with their stories. You should always support the victims, even if the abuser is someone you like/stan a lot.

Your favorite uwu white boy streamer could literally have done this to you.

YOU DONT KNOW THESE MEN! The one you see on camera is only a persona, THATS IT. They are grown ass adults, they should know better. Why are you playing a drinking game with someone you assumed was 21? You should check that shit. It LITERALLY takes two seconds to check that info. You said that one of her friends had a 21+ bracelets and assumed she was 21 too. Im fucking sorry but that’s dumbass logic , you are a literal 27 years old man friend with a 24 yo and a 23 yo. Ur own group of friends has a 3-4 years age gap difference. Just bc one of Caiti’s friend is 21 that doesn’t mean anything. And even if Caiti was actually 21 when it happened, the behaviour was still creepy asf. Why are u cuddling and putting ur hand under her shirt to this girl you just met?

For people sending shit to Caiti bc she didn’t say anything at the moment, while she already explained her point of view a bit on Twitter - even if she shouldn’t have to- I want to add to that a bit. We heard thousands of stories where women said no to men and they still physically abused them. Put yourself in her shoes for a goddamn second, she’s 18 and drunk in a room with two grown ass men that she doesn’t know well, she only know their online persona. She doesn’t know how they’ll react if she says no.

It might be a stretched idea for some of y’all, but I’m basing this on women experience with those types of situations. In a lot of cases, when you say no, worse things can happen. More violence can happen.

Im sending support and love to all the victims and wish them to heal well. You are all strong coming out with your stories against those men with gigantic fandoms.

P.s : before anyone tells me that I also don’t know these women streamers, I prefer defending and supporting a « potential » victim than a potential abuser, but that might just be me.

[kiddbegins]

Comfortable - Connor Rhodes

Requested: yes

Word count: 515

Warnings: mention of sex, that’s really it

A/n: sorry I’ve sucked at requests lately, I’ve been heavy into my fics and very into Matt who I don’t get many asks for so,,,

Masterlist

You knew that your boyfriend had an… iffy childhood to say the least. His father had been the bane of his existence for as long as the surgeon could remember. Connor hated him and the feeling was mutual. So there wasn’t much affection from the older Rhodes, and considering she was gone there was none from his other either.

That would mess with anyone, going years without that sort of attention. And Connor looked for it everywhere. His college years were filled with sex, one night stands that got him through the nights.

Even before he moved back to Chicago there was never someone that he felt that connection to. Nobody that knew how to go about what he wanted.

Until you. Coming into the ED with a sprained wrist was probably the best thing that ever happened to you. Getting knocked over by a toddler and using your hand to catch your fall? Bad idea, but it led you right to a bed in the emergency room with none other than Dr. Rhodes checking it out and wrapping it up.

And soon enough that lunch you asked him to, turned into dinner, which went from a one off thing to getting drinks every few days, and eventually led to where you were now all those months later. Laying in his bed, wrapped up in his arms.

Yeah the sex was good, he had experience and therefore knew what he was doing. But he was used to the girl beside him being someone he met that day that was itching to leave either right away or at least in the morning.

But you were different. Since day one you’d shown him that you cared. That he was more than just a warm body. Instead of his arms around you, he had his head to your chest, lazily wrapped around you. “You’re comfortable.” Connor mumbled, lips squished as his check was pressed to your skin.

Lightly you laughed, lifting a hand up to rake it through his hair. “I’m glad to hear that.” You breathed out, feeling him nuzzle up to you. That was his way of showing his contentment, his face rubbing into your skin wherever he was, was the equivalent of a cat slipping through your legs, desperate to show you affection.

“I like when you do that.” He sighed out through his nose as you scratched gently at his scalp. One of the things you actually adored was the way that he felt comfortable enough with you to vocalize what he felt and what he wanted.

You looked down at him, fondness encircling your chest. “I love you.” There hadn’t felt like a better time to finally say it, being with him in his bed just holding him. Feeling his skin on yours. You just had to.

Connor lifted his head, looking back at you, eyes filled with adoration. “I love you too.” He responded softly, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your lips before leaning back down, once again snuggling into your side.

Your touch the only thing he needed.

Join Connor’s tag list!

Tags: @winchesterszvonecek , @everything-fandom , @thebejeweledwatercat , @mrspeacem1nusone , @wnbweasley , @alexxavicry , @halsteadbrasil , @natashamea18 , @katieemazz, @firetruckstuckley

[accio-victuuri]

Bunny laoshi’s 1005 birthday CPNs Part I 🎂

I am giving it this title cause i’m pretty sure we will have more in the next releases or whatever. So yeah. First, I wanna thank you xiao laoshi for all the shiny presents he gave us for his birthday! we have been so blessed! I mean those photos from XZS? and the biggest CPN of the day which is him featuring the Leica camera we have been screaming about for the past days. Personally, we can skip all of these and that sugar alone is enough. But apparently, there’s more….

I will start with my favorite which is related to the birthday cake he was holding in one of the photos.

The person who designed the cake shared info on their creation. No problem. Anyone would be proud for making a cake for a celebrity like XZ. Yes, it’s camping themed. Which is a recurrent CPN in this fandom since both of them suddenly became camping enthusiasts around the same time.

This time the customer wanted to make a camping model, so I started looking for some pictures from my colleagues. But because Master Fang doesn’t make other store models, He finally decided to use the scene of Xinjiang grassland then add with other camping accessory of ours~

AND THIS CAKE SHOP IS LOCATED IN HANGZHOU. Who is in HZ? Who frequents HZ? Definitely not ZZ. So who had this commissioned??? I’m sorry but as soon as I heard Hangzhou, what came to mind is WYB. I swear. He is that city’s adopted son or something.

Out of all ZZ’s “hobbies” who would decided let’s do camping. I can only think of Bobo. And the delivery fee is 3k. There is really nothing top expensive when it comes to each other.

Next is how photos were with him holding the Leica. Kind of like how the camera was posted in WYB’s photosets in Paris. They are both showing off. Clearly.

When you put the bday messages from their studios side by side — it appears that the theme and pattern is the same. 😂😂😂😂

lament about how time flies >> one year role review >> talk about life >> good wishes

I mean it’s not the most unique format but it’s so cute seeing how similar. even how it’s split in paragraphs.

Tho I have to say wyb’s was very very special. That message made me tear up.

WYB is about to go home, Paris to China and he is wearing Ralph Lauren. Yes, ZZ is endorsing the fragrance but it’s still an interesting choice.

I am cackling tho cause you can see that WYB was online at midnight! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It got some people nervous. Will he greet XZ? Will he comments on XZ’s bday post? I mean what’s going on???

Turns out, WYB posted about his experience with the Chanel PFW. This is the perfect time cause he is literally leaving Paris. What’s funny tho are the people commenting. It’s BXGs. Because come on, who’s awake? It’s us. We are awake cause it’s GG’s bday. I took a screenshot, just look at the pfps. I think by the time I publish this post, it will be overtaken by so/os cause one fan club asked other so/os to comment. Lol.

Some are saying the first words he used to describe the show are actually for ZZ’s photos but i really don’t buy that. and well, he is gonna see the love of his life soon ^^ I really hope they get to spend sometime 1005 or over the weekend 😌😌😌

and well the repost on ZZ’s birthday post on his own weibo is another story too 😂😂😂

==================

AND SOME LAST WORDS ABOUT ZZ PULLING OFF THIS CAMERA CANDY TODAY. It’s actually a joint effort. Intentional or not, I’m all for it. It goes to show that the way we speculate on things actually make sense and are not too out there. They could easily hide the camera if they want to block all the cpf talk but they didn’t. It was displayed proudly.

It’s one of those things where I think they/their team really listen in on what’s going on in the turtle fandom and they get to decide which ones will be given more fuel or not. Again, their relationship is between them, but imagine them willingly sharing this personal part of their life to us is making me 😭😭😭.

Whether it’s the exact same camera or not. XZS’ posting closed the loop of doubt. It’s not all on WYB’s side, ZZ claimed it too. and that to me is an iron clad cpn. No one can say that “WYB is just trying to feed the cpfs…”. It’s mutual.

It’s a lesson on believing in them. A couple of times this year, I’ve seen people question them. Always throwing tantrums for “lack of candy” and being annoying. Be patient. You will be rewarded if you just wait — appreciate them as people and enjoy the content they put out. It will come to us in time. Trust them. 🤍

-END.

[sheetsonfire]

Figures

Fandom: Chicago Med

Characters: Halstead!Sister, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead

Genre: hurt/comfort, illness, fluff

Warnings: seizures, hospitals, injections

Word Count: 1897

Summary: The reader has a rough day of seizures, they are reluctant to go to Med until they have no choice. - but things are always easier with two big brothers by your side.

Requested By chrisevansdaughter: [...] could it be possible for you to do a halstead! Sibling reader where she has seizures, because of previous problems with low blood sugar and she had one whilst they are at home after not feeling the best, but she has to take a trip to lex because they don’t let up but she hates the hospital so it’s just fluff and comfort from a personal experience.

A/N: Thank you so much to @elius-learns-to-write for convincing me this wasn't total garbage. Sorry, it's shorter than usual, I am having a confidence crisis, but I'm working on it! I hope my research on this subject made this more readable.

-

The first thing that registers is the sharp throb of a headache that radiates throughout your forehead, intense biting stabs that make you wince even in the haze of your semi-consciousness.

The second thing you notice is the heaviness in your limbs, your eyes feel sensitive to the light and your absolute reluctance to move is the giveaway that you hadn’t fallen asleep on the couch in a natural or peaceful way.

Soon the memory of your intense nausea and shaking came back to you. There are vague memories of you trying to make it to the couch but not quite managing it - slumping into the arms of your brother, Jay, who luckily happened to be heading to the kitchen.

Your blood sugar must have been in the tank, causing you to pass out. You started seizing soon after, leaving Jay to holler out to Will who was in his bedroom to bring the emergency kit that he kept for when you stayed over.

The third thing that comes to you is that the ‘pillow’ beneath your head was not a pillow at all, but rather the muscular cushion of someone’s leg.

There's a hushed murmur of conversation that you can't quite concentrate on when a clearer voice reaches you, “Come back to us, kiddo, open those eyes.”

A gentle hand cards through your hair, brushing stray strands away from the clamminess on your forehead - it sparks a flurry of warm memories of being cared for, of being protected, from childhood right to the very present.

The owner of the voice was simultaneously irritating for asking that you wake up, but also soothing upon registering it to be the voice of your brother Will.

“Mngh, no. Hurts.” You mumble, turning yourself to face the back of the sofa, trying to somehow make Will’s leg comfier to rest your head on.

Your brother chuckles, squeezing your shoulder, “I know, I know it does, but I need to make sure the glucagon is doing its job.” Ah, yes, the magic of glucagon, the thing in charge of keeping your blood sugar in check, especially after a seizure.

“You finished napping yet?” Another voice comes from the direction of the kitchen, and you huff, playfully punching Will in the knee.

Will sulks as he pays for Jay’s teasing remark, “Hey! What was that for? I’m not the one accusing you of napping.”

You groan as you try and sit up, squeezing your eyes shut as the headache zings behind your eyes. “Mh, you’re closer, otherwise he’d get it.”

“He deserves it more anyway, he’s the one that stabbed you.” The voice is closer to you, on the couch, by your other side. Jay makes yet another joke as he tries to keep the mood light, wrapping an arm around you to steady you in your newly upright position.

“How are we doing, sweetheart?” He asks softly, being more sincere now that he was taking a look at you. You were groggy and in discomfort - seizures often took it out of you.

“Peachy.” You grunt, opening a weary eye to see Jay offering you a sandwich and a bottle of water. Something with carbs was always advised after a seizure, and Jay was usually the one to take care of that department, he always made the best sandwiches. ‘Thanks, Jay.” You murmur, sitting still as you slowly snack on your recovery food taking sips in between.

Jay's warm palm moving in small circles on your back is a safety blanket for you, feeling the tension between your shoulders and at the base of your neck begin to melt away.

You answer Will’s questions as you let him take the new readings with a finger-prick test, the method he swore by due to the delay in a glucose monitor reading.

Jay had taken that time to focus on looking out the window, moving his view away from the needle.

Will does what he needs to do with the lancet, pricking you for a sample of blood.

Like a well-practised dance, Will takes the test strip with your blood and inserts it into the meter, waiting for it to provide a reading, whilst you hold a small piece of gauze to the prick on your finger.

Will sighs, humming in concern.

“These levels aren’t what I’d like, Y/N, if it gets worse or you start to feel like you’re gonna seize again, we’re going to Med.”

Jay turns back to you at those words, a grimace on his face, knowing that your reaction to Will’s decision would be emphatically in opposition.

“Will, seriously? No way, I hate that place, I’ll be fine!” You try and stand up to prove your point, only to feel the world swim and your legs fail to cooperate.

“Woah, hey.” Jay is quick off the mark, hooking his arm around you to bring you back down to the couch.

You glance at Will who’s got his hands out to steady you too, you involuntarily scowl at his “Told you so.” expression.

“A little backup would be nice.” Will addresses Jay, scratching at his head as he wonders whether he should just take you to Med now, not missing the way you try to act like you’re not moments away from passing out again.

“Don’t look at me, you’re the doctor and the bad cop in this situation, I get to be the good cop when it comes to medical emergencies.” Jay seems rather smug and it makes you laugh half-heartedly despite your exhaustion and shakiness, both you and he shared a deep disdain for Will’s place of work.

You’re trying to get up again, not really sure where you want to go or what you want to do. A fog of confusion shimmers in your mind, and before you know it Will is grasping your shoulders, looking at Jay.

“Lay her down on the floor.” Will commands, and Jay wastes not a second in obeying. He shifts to support your head and gently encourages you to lie down on the floor, giving you one of those stern yet loving looks as you try and resist. He’s watching worriedly as your eyes wander erratically, knowing you’re trying to fight what’s coming.

“It’s alright, Y/N, just-” Jay’s about to encourage you to let it happen, to let them take care of you when your whole body goes limp. Jay holds you steady, turning you on your side as you begin to convulse again.

Will moves back to his kit, preparing a secondary dose of glucagon, there’s little Jay can do but stop you from hurting yourself as you ride it out.

Your brothers share a look as Will injects you in your upper arm, there’s an unspoken agreement that there is no choice but to take you to Med now, they needed to get this under control in a secure environment with additional solutions available - even if that meant you’d be in a sour mood later, they would take it.

-

The second you consciously smell the air after waking up you let out a disgruntled groan, you knew exactly where you were - and it wasn’t Will's apartment anymore.

You were indeed at Chicago Med, and more specifically in the diabetic clinic on the third floor - a space you were unfortunately all too familiar with.

“Hey kiddo, you with us?” A gentle voice pulls you to open your eyes properly, scanning the room briefly your gaze settles on Jay sitting on the chair beside your bed, smiling at the sight of you finally awake.

He had his detective badge around his neck.

Observant as he was trained to be, he clocks the question on your lips, and speaks before you can ask, “Visting hours were over a few hours ago, so was shift change - so I may or may not have implied it was a police matter of importance that I was here with you.”

You laugh groggily, but then it falters into a frown, softly chastising your brother. “Jay, I shouldn’t get special treatment.”

Jay chuckles too, you were always conscious of not using his job nor Will’s to get any kind of tenuous form of preferential care. Your self-awareness was something he admired about you.

“I know, I’m sorry, sweetheart…” Jay pauses, scratching at the back of his head. “But uh, Will got called in downstairs, and I couldn’t sit at home alone knowing you were up here alone too… You worried me today, Y/N.” There’s a somberness in Jay’s eyes, he didn’t do well with not being able to have control over a situation, and not being able to help fully was one of his biggest struggles.

Your eyes soften, carefully reaching out a hand to hold Jay’s. “Big brother, I’m alright, they’re really great at what they do here, I’m sure they’re gonna figure out how to keep me on a safer track with all this. I’m feeling better, I promise.”

Jay shakes his head with a smile, despite your disdain for the hospital you had always done better than him. “When did you get so wise?” He teases, squeezing your hand gently.

“I’ve always been wise, thank you very much.” You snipe jokingly, taking mock offence to the idea that you hadn’t always been of sound logic and optimism.

“Yes you have, you definitely get that from me though, not this guy.” Will’s voice catches your attention, he was now in scrubs and had you giggling a little more as he poked fun at Jay.

Your other brother studies you with his medical eyes and then his worried sibling ones, approaching the free side of your bed. He smoothes out the flyaway hairs atop your head, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “How are we doing, kiddo?”

A yawn escapes you, still holding Jay’s hand as you shrug, reaching for Will’s hand too, “Much better. I’m sorry I caused such a fuss. Do they know what’s going on?”

“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N.” Will reassures, “They think you might have overdone it this week with the extra shifts you took on after school, your body couldn’t keep up.”

You sigh with an understanding nod, it didn’t surprise you that was the cause of your problems, “I thought I was doing a good job of keeping up, guess not.”

Will gives you a reassuring smile, “Hey, it’s alright, sometimes we can’t always get it right. You know you can always ask me or Jay to help you keep track or reassess, it’s not a bother.”

“Never a bother. It’s not even a question.” Jay chimes in, squeezing your hand gently.

Listening to their reassurance made you feel more relaxed for the first time in a few days, knowing that it was okay to take it easy and rely on your brothers a little more than you had been lately. “Thanks, guys. I guess you are pretty good brothers after all, even if you did stab me with needles and drag me here.”

The two of them laugh at your slight pout, Will looks at you with that smug face, “Sweetheart, sorry to say but we’d do it again and again if it meant getting you better.”

“And I carried you, actually, there was no dragging.” Jay corrects, feeling smug.

You huff, but you’re smiling too, slapping at both of their arms playfully, “Figures.”

-

Fin.

tags: @chrisevansdaughter - @elius-learns-to-write - @resanoona - @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[alexandra-emerson]

Some Thoughts

(For readers horrified by what’s been going on in fandom who want to help)

Twats

I’m sad that some authors have been pulling their works from AO3, though I totally get it. But I’m not going to add to the “don’t sell fanfics” commentary much. I’m working with a lawyer to get mine taken down from Etsy, and it sucks, but I think this is an opportunity to talk about the fandom community as a whole. Specifically, what you can do to keep it alive and healthy.

I think it’s easy to sit at home, read about this illegal fanbinding drama with interest, run to AO3 to mass download your favorite fics, pat yourself on the back for not buying or selling fics illegally or not adding them to Goodreads, then move on with your life. But I would argue this passive attitude is just as harmful to the community, in some ways.

The Criticism Ratio

You all have probably heard that you’re supposed to deliver compliments and criticism with a ratio of 5:1. This is because negative comments stick in our heads more, so even if you were balancing the good and bad, or giving twice as many good comments as bad ones, the bad ones carry so much weight, they still seem to be winning.

With writing, I would argue this ratio is probably more like 10:1. Because it’s so personal. And most of us are so new to it. And it’s so much freaking work. I timed it once, and one chapter typically takes me 12 hours to write. That doesn’t include editing, or the hours my beta puts into editing. Then, to float all that work out into the world and get negativity back … oof, it makes embarking on the next 12 hours, and the next and the next VERY difficult.

My Experience

I’ve been an author of some popular fics in both the Harmony and Dramione spaces. On the Harmony side, I’ve dealt with personalized attacks, not just against my stories but against me as a person. And when that was going down, there weren’t a ton of fans speaking up on my behalf. I got a lot of DMs telling me those bullies were just the “loud minority” but from my point of view, with my supporters sounding like crickets, they felt like a majority. 

(Quick note to my Harmony readers: No I’m never writing Harmony again, get over it, and stop following me to every work I write next to ask me when I’m writing Harmony again. You had your chance to support me, and you fucking missed the boat.)

On the Dramione side, the public spaces are more moderated (thank God) so I’m less likely to stumble upon downright bullying. But this space is overwhelming in how BIG it is and how much conversation goes on about my fics. I always feel like the last to know when there’s some big Tik-Tok boom happening with one of my stories, when a story gets added to Goodreads, when there’s a reddit thread discussing the flaws in ‘Timeless’, when it gets posted for sale on Etsy, when someone popular binds it. It’s very hard to keep up with this giant fandom and it’s too much to handle at times. Which means if people don't send us things directly, we don't see it.

I also get this thing in Dramione that I didn’t get as much in Harmony where people act afraid or embarrassed to reach out to me. They’ll say things like, “I’m so sorry to bother you…” or “I’m sure you hear this all the time, and I know you don’t need to hear it from me too, but your works are great…” I think in Dramione people assume because it’s so big, other people are taking care of things, but that’s not the case. There is a lot of activity, for sure, but not much of that is making it back to the author.

My Ask

So anyway, think about the role you play in fandom. Are you contributing to the compliment bank, or the criticism one? (Remember, abstentions go with the majority. And in this case, every negative experience holds x10 weight).

Good things can be as simple as sending a quick note like, “Just letting you know I thought about your story today” or “Here’s another kudos because I just reread this gem!” It can be correcting a negative comment or review you see out in the wild, so that if the author ever stumbles across it, they see that their people are out there, sticking up for them. Ten people can instantly negate a bad comment with ten positive ones. Then if the author ever finds it, no harm done.

We all know the bad things that harm fandom, so there’s no need for me to rehash them here. But don’t forget that the passive things can be just as harmful. Things like: Rating a fanfic on Goodreads, because it’s already there, and you really want it to count towards your goal. Downloading a story, loving it, and never letting the author know. Reading rude comments online, complimenting yourself for not being that mean, then scrolling to the next thing.

My challenge to fandom is this: Let’s fill that compliment and support bucket so full that when an author does encounter a negative experience with one of their fanfics, they have a giant, fluffy pillow of endless love to fall back on. Let’s make those rare moments of nastiness truly feel like a minority to our creators. It’s not a ton of work. Our fandom is so flipping large, it just takes a tiny comment from each person to keep our community feeling like a fun, positive place to play.

[thisvegetabledoesntfallinlove]

having aromantic feelings in this denny’s tonight bc i had to go on a blocking spree yet again.

I just think like... people don’t know shit about what it’s like to be aromantic. aphobes complain about the Fandomization Of Pride and say shit like “asexuality is basically a fandom thing; if your community is entirely online and based around tumblr tags and headcanons, you cant possibly compare it to actual real life gay experiences”

and like. i have some bad fucking news for you about gay people who live in super homophobic backwater small towns. I’ve known plenty of gay people who were completely closeted irl and whos entire interaction with queerness was online communities, especially gay shipping. that doesn’t mean there aren’t other gay people in those homophobic little towns, its just often too dangerous to look for them. there are definitely other aro people in my backwater little town! I just can’t find them. I’m not saying this is the best way to interact with the queer community! or even a good way! for instance, nobody gives a shit about gay vs aro or bi vs pan irl! this drama is all internet shit! but being terminally online is certainly not a problem unique to aspec people.

honestly, as someone who’s trans, bisexual and aromantic, the thing that’s actually made my life the most difficult for cishets to swallow is the aromantic part. my backwater town is fairly liberal, so they can be chill about the gay thing, they can even tolerate the trans thing, but not getting married???? what do you mean you can’t be like the sweater-wearing chaste gay dads in the commercials? what do you mean you don’t want to date but you still want to have sex???????

nothing about my identity is palatable. nothing about me is relatable or marketable. my life, my future, my happiness, looks completely alien to your average cishet. the first time I told someone irl that I was aromantic, the immediate reaction was “oh my god I’m so sorry” as if I just said I had cancer.

like. actually. yknow what. yeah I think the aromantic experience is very easy to compare to my experience as a disabled person. its because I’m fundamentally missing something that Typical People consider completely intrinsically tied to their worth and their happiness. what’s the point of life if you can’t get married? whats the point of life if you can’t have a job? “i’m so sorry to hear you’ll never experience the be all end all of human existence; retiring to live comfortably with your aging partner as your grown children take up the mantle of your legacy.”

people don’t know what its like to be aromantic. they think of it as a tumblr tag, or headcanons, because the only time they bother to interact with aromanticism is when they’re complaining about our headcanons. no one can deny that aspec identity in this decade is intrinsically connected to the internet, in the same way that no one can say that gay identity in 1970s and 80s america wasn’t intrinsically connected to gay bars. its because That’s How You Meet People. queer people have always taken whatever was the current way for humans to connect to each other and carved out their own space.

aromanticism is in the stage where its hard to find other people, and no one knows what you are, and if you explain it to them they think you’re sick. we’re in the stage where we don’t get a lot of explicit canon representation, we have to scrape by on aro readings and subtext and coding.

and it IS coding! its coding! I don’t care if aromanticism wasn’t named yet back then! there are plenty of instances of queer coding from before we had words like “trans” or “gay” or “lesbian” or even “queer.” what matters is that someone somewhere was like “this character has the experience of not feeling the socially mandated attraction to the opposite binary gender,” which is a queer experience whether the person feeling it is gay or aromantic. just like bisexuality and lesbianism weren’t separated for a long time because straight society didn’t care if the wlw could also technically like men, lesbianism and aromanticism and asexuality weren’t separated because straight society didn’t care if the woman who wouldn’t get married to a man wanted to kiss girls or not.

this is way longer than I intended it to be and it got kinda rambly and train-of-thought, and I don’t think I really have any particular conclusion here. just aro feelings. idk if this makes sense but I’m tired of trying to edit it to make more sense so I’m just hitting post

[nhasablogg]

Jealous

Fandom: Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Characters: Ari/Dante

Summary: Ari tells Dante of a time he felt jealous.

A/N: Something short because I finally watched the movie and I missed them.

Words: 847

“I’ve never felt jealous before,” Ari said one day, the rain splattering against the windshield, different from the summer rain. He wasn’t used to spending autumn with Dante. Had only really seen his face during the summer. His face was paler when the sun wasn’t as strong, although autumns in El Paso were much different from autumns in Chicago, Dante had told him. The rain was merciful in the way it didn’t chill you to your core.

Dante took a sip of his beer, urging him to continue with his silence. Ari hadn’t meant to bring it up, but the booze was making him impulsive. “I think the word you’re looking for is relaxed,” Dante had once said with a laugh. And he was probably right. He wasn’t supposed to overthink every thought he had. Sometimes he just had to speak.

“I’ve never felt jealous before,” he repeated, turning his head toward the desert. “Until I saw you with Daniel.”

Dante didn’t say anything and Ari didn’t dare look at him. “I know it was my fault you were with him to begin with,” he continued, finding now that he’d started speaking he couldn’t stop. “I know I had no right to those feelings at the time. And I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter now.” He exhaled slowly, tightening his grip of his beer so that the can crackled. “And I know your, uh, interactions with him led to you being beat up. I’m sorry, it’s probably really stupid to think about it all and feel jealous.”

“Ari.” A finger on his jaw, forcing him to turn. Dante was smiling, always smiling, although there was something sad in his eyes too. “It’s okay. Feelings are supposed to be complicated.”

Ari had spent too many nights imagining Dante kissing Daniel, grinding up to him in an alleyway, back pressed to a wall. He’d imagined a different version of that too, before he’d found out what had happened. How replaceable he’d felt. How fucking stupid for causing that to happen.

“Ari.” Dante dragged out the word now, almost sang it. “Come back to me. Stop thinking about it.”

Ari shook his head. “Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“I knew I was lying in the car, when I told you kissing you didn’t work for me.” He grabbed Dante’s hand, brought it to his lips. “Maybe I didn’t fully understand it then, but seeing Daniel’s car in your driveway made me certain. And I got so angry because I didn’t know what to do. How to fix it.”

Dante hummed, extending one finger to caress Ari’s lips. “For what it’s worth, being with Daniel felt- wrong. I mean, it was fun to a certain extent. To experiment properly. But he wasn’t you, and I knew my heart wasn’t fully in it.” He pressed his other hand to Ari’s forehead. “You’re frowning.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you jealous still?”

“The idea of it isn’t very fun to imagine, that’s all.” He shook his head. “I know it’s stupid. I’m literally holding your hand.”

Dante laughed. “You’re cute when you’re jealous. I’m glad you told me.”

“Mm, you’re enjoying this a little too much.”

“Can you blame me?” Dante moved closer, all laughter lines. “You were jealous.”

Ari shoved his face away. “Oh, you better watch it, Dante Quintana.”

“Before what?” Dante’s smile had turned smug.

“I have my ways of taking you down a notch.”

“Is that so?” Dante leaned closer again, their faces mere inches apart. “Prove it then.”

“You sure you want that?”

“I want to see what you do, mostly.”

Ari could understand why he didn’t expect him to do it. Dante was still the more physical one, the more playful one. He’d probably forgotten that Ari knew about it, but it didn’t take long for him to catch on. A grab of his side. A squeeze, and another one. Not stopping even when Dante tried to move away. Laughter. Beautiful laughter reserved just for him.

“No, wait!” he cried, the car suddenly smaller. Ari was grateful they’d not brought Legs this time, as it gave Dante free reign to squirm and Ari just as much to follow. “This isn’t fahahair!” “I told you I have my ways,” Ari said with a laugh.

“Yeah, but tickling’s cheating!”

“How is it cheating?” Dante twisted and Ari went for his ribs, relishing in the way he tried to curl up and couldn’t fully. “I don’t remember us making rules.”

Dante changed tactics and leaned forward again, as if Ari couldn’t just go for the back of his ribs as he pressed his face into Ari’s chest, giggling still.

“You’re so cute,” he said. It had slipped out, but he didn’t regret it. Especially not when Dante groaned into his shirt, a telltale sign of him being embarrassed. Maybe Ari should speak more. It certainly had only done him good thus far.

As he pulled Dante closer, still poking at his skin, he had the thought that Daniel never had this. It was all Ari and Dante’s.

[chicgeekgirl89]

Fandom: 911 Lone Star Summary: When Carlos receives a late night call from one of his sisters who is worried about the health of his nephew, T.K. doesn't hesitate to jump in and show the entire family why he's worthy of Carlos' love. Thanks to @carlos-tk, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @whatsintheboxmh, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @strandnreyes, @carlos-in-glasses, and @bonheur-cafe for the WIP Wednesday tags. I hope you will accept this instead, belated as it is! A/N: This is my 100th fic on AO3!! 🍾🍾🍾 (Not my 100th fic ever, many of them never made the transfer from ff.net, but still!) I've been sitting on this one for a while and seeing T.K. shine feels like it's worthy of being #100. Also Adriana and Francesca weren't supposed to be in this one, but they literally barged through those hospital doors and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I couldn't love them more!

Read on AO3

“Sooo…never again, right?” Carlos asks.

“Oh my god never again,” T.K. agrees fervently. “Why were the plates so weird? Some of them weren’t even plates at all. And the food was…bad.”

“So bad,” Carlos says. “Tiny and bad.”

“Three hours. We were there three hours,” T.K. says in disbelief as he slows down at a stoplight. “Why did we have to wait like thirty minutes between courses?”

“The menu said it was to give us time to renew our digestive energies and be more present in the dining experience,” Carlos says.

“I didn’t know my digestive energies needed to be renewed.”

“Me neither.”

It had taken them months to get a reservation at the trendiest new restaurant in town and they’d both been excited for the occasion. The menu promised a foodie paradise with unique dishes, creative presentation, and an emphasis on sustainability. They’d gotten dressed up and ready for a fun date night out only to be disappointed the moment they’d walked in the door. 

The place had been crowded, they were practically elbow to elbow with the tables next to them. Carlos had learned the intimate details of one couple’s fertility issues and another couple’s trouble with their neighbors.

Then the food had started coming and been a complete disaster. Carlos considered himself something of a foodie, and T.K.’s New Yorker palate had sampled a number of cuisines over the years, but this had been the worst food Carlos had ever eaten. He hadn’t been able to identify a single item on any of his plates and his tongue longed for something with even a hint of flavor. The plate that held a single, lukewarm radish had nearly been his undoing.

Overall it had been three hours of bland food, awkward company, and not at all what either of them had imagined.

“I’m starving. Can we please pick up something on the way home?” T.K. asks, his stomach letting out a gurgle as if to affirm his statement.

“God yes. I think Chu’s is still open, right?” 

Carlos pulls out his phone, but it lights up with a call before he can check to see Chu’s hours. “Why’s my sister calling?”

T.K. glances over at him. “Which one?”

“Lucía,” Carlos says. It’s not typical of his sister to call at this hour out of the blue and he feels his internal warning bells activate as he picks up the call. “Luci? Que pasó?”

“Hey Carlos,” she says, sounding tired and stressed. “Sorry for calling, I know it’s late.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “We’re just on our way home from dinner. What’s going on?”

“I don’t—I’m probably overreacting,” she says. “It’s just that Justin is out of town for work and I’m—“

Now he’s really worried. “Lucí, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Sebastian woke up sick a couple days. I didn’t think it was a big deal, both boys are sick all the time from daycare and school, but he wasn’t any better today, so I took him to the doctor. They said he’s fine, likely just a virus or something, but…his fever won’t break and he keeps saying his belly hurts.” 

Carlos can hear the deep seated worry in his sister’s voice and it rocks him to his core. His sister is an amazing mom, fearless and sure. To hear her so uncertain is throwing him off.

“I didn’t know if maybe T.K. could just give me some advice or something?” she says, ending it like a question.

He looks over at his fiancé. “What’s going on?” T.K. asks,.

“Sebastian’s sick,” Carlos says. “Do you mind?”

“No, no, put her on speaker,” T.K. says immediately, turning his eyes back to the road as the light changes.“Hey Lucía,” he says loudly so she can hear him.

“Hey T.K.,” she says. “I’m so sorry, I know people probably ask you for medical help all the time.”

“It’s not a problem. Tell me what’s going on,” T.K. says.

“He won’t eat, he’s barely drinking. His fever had been holding steady at around a hundred, but it just spiked up to one oh two. I’ve given him medicine, done cold washcloths, I don’t know what else to try.”

“And the doctor said what exactly?”

“That it’s probably a stomach virus,” Lucía says.

T.K. mulls that over for a minute. “Aren’t we like fifteen minutes from their place?” he asks Carlos.

Carlos nods. 

“Okay, Lucía we’re going to swing by, all right?” T.K. says, flipping his blinker on to get them turned around back the way they’d just come.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that—“

“We’re coming Luci,” Carlos says. “We’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, thank you,” she says, relief flooding her voice and loosening the knot of fear in Carlos’ chest.

He hangs up and looks at T.K. “It’s probably just a stomach bug.”

“Probably,” T.K. agrees. “But if it makes her feel better to have someone give her advice it’s worth going over.”

Carlos’ heart goes soft at those words. He’d never imagined he’d be with someone like T.K. Someone so kind and good, someone who would drive to his sister’s house at nine o’clock at night just to assuage her fears. It’s beyond his wildest dreams.

They pull into the driveway of the ranch style home about ten minutes later, T.K.’s ambulance driving having shaved a few minutes off their time and a few years off of Carlos’ life. At least they’re not driving the Camaro tonight so Carlos didn’t have to fear for the safety of his baby as they sped through yellow lights and weaved in and out of traffic.

Lucía opens the door before they even knock and the relief Carlos felt a few minutes ago evaporates at the sight of her worried face. She was holding back on the phone; in person she looks even more terrified and exhausted than she sounded. “Hey guys,” she says. “I’m so sorry to drag you all the way over here.”

“Stop apologizing,” Carlos admonishes her immediately as they step inside. “That’s what family is for.”

Sebastian lays on the couch in the living, looking younger and tinier than his six years, his face pale and drawn. There’s an episode of Paw Patrol playing on the television mounted above the fireplace and he has a blanket pulled all the way up to his chin. Carlos can see Fuzzy, his comfort bear, peeking out over the top. 

“Hey buddy,” he says, crouching down and giving his nephew a smile. “Tummy bothering you?”

Sebastian nods but doesn’t say anything, another sign that something is wrong. Usually he’s a chatterbox, happy to talk about school or his friends or soccer. Carlos smiles wider, despite the worry swirling in his gut, trying for calm and reassuring uncle. “Do you remember my boyfriend T.K.? From the party at Abuela and Abuelo’s house?” Carlos asks and Sebastian’s eyes move over his shoulder to where T.K. is standing behind him. He gets another nod.

“He’s going to take a look at you, okay?” Carlos says, standing up and moving back to where Lucía is anxiously hovering behind the couch so that T.K. has space to work.

“Hey Sebastian,” T.K. says as he takes Carlos’ spot. “You know I’m a paramedic, right?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says, his voice small.

“Do you know what a paramedic does?”

“Help people feel better?”

T.K. smiles and nods. “That’s right. So let’s see if I can help you feel better, sound good?”

“Mhmm.”

“Awesome. Okay, I’m going to pull down the blanket and take a look. You tell me if anything hurts, all right?”

He gently pulls down the blanket and places his fingers on Sebastian’s wrist, looking at his watch while he does it. He pulls out a stethoscope he had in the car and listens to the little boy’s lungs, then takes his temperature with the thermometer Lucía has on the coffee table. He narrates quietly the entire time, letting Sebastian know what he’s doing as he does it.

“Okay, let’s see that belly,” he finally says with a smile.

He pulls up the top of Sebastian’s Power Rangers pajamas, talking to him softly while his hands palpate his abdomen. “You like Power Rangers huh? Which one is your favorite?”

“Red,” Sebastian says immediately. “He’s the head guy.”

“He is,” T.K. says. “I always liked the Green one though.”

Sebastian winces and makes a noise that breaks Carlos’ heart in half. T.K.’s hands immediately immediately stop. “Sorry buddy,” he says. “That hurt?”

Sebastian nods and T.K. gently puts his pajama shirt back into place. “I’m going to go talk to your mom and tío. You stay right here and make sure this couch doesn’t go anywhere, okay?”

He gets to his feet and nods toward the hallway where Carlos and Lucía follow him out of Sebastian’s earshot. “His pulse is a little fast and there is some tenderness in his abdomen,” T.K. says quietly. “That coupled with the fever and the lethargy is definitely concerning.”

Lucía puts her hand on Carlos’ arm and he covers it with his own in an attempt at reassurance. “So what should I do? Wait until the morning and see how he is? Give him more meds?” she asks.

“Considering his symptoms, I would recommend you take him to the ER,” T.K. says gently.

She blows out a breath as Carlos’ stomach drops. “Okay,” she says. “Okay um, okay. I’ll just wake up Nicholas and…”

“No, no, no,” Carlos says quickly. “No I’ll call Mom and ask her to come be with Nicky. I’ll stay until she gets here.”

“And I’ll go with you to the ER,” T.K. offers. “I can walk you through all the paperwork, field questions from the doctors, whatever you need.”

“Seriously?” Lucía looks teary eyed. “You’ll come?”

“Of course,” T.K. says. “Why don’t you go grab whatever might help keep him calm while we’re there? iPad or a book maybe. It could be a long wait.”

“Okay, right. Yes. Give me like five minutes and I’ll be ready,” she says, rushing off to go gather supplies.

“What are you thinking?” Carlos asks immediately.

T.K. has his neutral paramedic face on, but Carlos has learned to read between the lines. “I’m thinking it could be a number of things,” T.K. says. “Just a stomach bug maybe, but even if it is I think he’s dehydrated. And given his symptoms and the decline, I’m also worried about an impacted or perfed bowel or maybe even appendicitis.”

“How worried?” 

T.K. blows out a breath. “Worried enough that I wouldn’t wait until the morning to try and get him some treatment.”

His words unlock a whole new level of fear that Carlos has never experienced before, and it takes a lot for him to stay calm as he calls his mom and explains the situation. Lucía returns with a tote bag full of supplies and T.K. scoops up Sebastian, carrying him out to the car with Lucía on his heels. 

“Mom says she’ll be here in fifteen minutes. I’ll be right behind you,” Carlos promises as T.K. sets Sebastian gently in the backseat, pillowing his head on Lucía’s lap.

“Can you call Justin?” Lucía asks, looking like she’s barely holding it together. “He knows Sebby’s sick but I want him to know we’re heading to the ER.”

“Yes,” Carlos says. “I’ll call him as soon as I’m back inside.”

“Hey,” T.K. catches his eye as he climbs into the driver’s seat. “I’ve got them, okay?”

“I know you do,” Carlos says and then the door is shut and they’re gone, leaving him standing in the driveway, his heart in his stomach.

He trudges back into the house and sinks onto the couch, eyes glued to Nicholas’ sleeping form on the baby monitor. He’s not a parent, so why does this feel so awful?

It takes him a minute to emotionally prepare for this phone call and he has to take a deep breath before tapping Justin’s name on his screen. 

It rings and rings and then sends him to voicemail, so he tries again. And again. The third time, Justin finally picks up.

“Dude, if this is a butt dial I’m going to kill you,” his brother-in-law says groggily.

Carlos forgot that it’s nearly midnight on the east coast right now. “Justin,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady.

“What’s wrong? Are Lucía and the boys okay?” Justin immediately sounds more awake now that he’s heard Carlos’ voice.

“Everyone’s safe,” Carlos tells him quickly. “I’m at your place with Nicholas because Sebastian’s feeling worse. She and T.K. are on the way to the ER with him.”

There’s a pause, Carlos can practically feel Justin’s panic through the phone. “Okay, um, okay,” he finally says. “Shit, I’m in Atlanta. There won’t be any flights for hours…”

“My mom’s on her way here to stay with Nicholas,” Carlos says. “I’ll head to the hospital and keep you updated, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, um, thanks Carlos,” Justin says, sounding a little hoarse. “Please um, please tell them I love them, okay? And that I’ll be on the first flight out I can get.”

“I will.”

He hangs up just as the front door opens and his mom comes in. “Carlitos,” she says softly and he immediately gets up to hug her. “How is Sebby?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not sure. They probably just got to the ER, it could be hours before we know anything.”

“And Lucía?”

“She’s worried,” he says. 

“As are we all,” she says, empathy all over her face. “T.K. went with her?”

“Yeah, he said he’d help with things there.”

She smiles softly and touches his face. “You picked a good one mijo. Not every man would drop everything to help his boyfriend’s family.”

There’s a lump in Carlos throat and he struggles to speak past it. “I know.”

“You should get going.”

“Okay. Nicholas is asleep in his crib. I called Justin, he’s working on getting a flight back.”

She nods. “Keep me posted.”

“I will.”

The drive to the hospital is so lonely and silent that it makes each minute feel even longer beneath the glow of the streetlights. How on earth did he go from having dinner with his boyfriend to taking his nephew to the ER? It’s ridiculous. They should be home right now, cuddling on the couch or the bed, watching some stupid show that neither of them really cares about because what they’re actually interested in is making out with each other.

Instead he’s about to spend hours in a hard plastic chair praying that a six year old he loves dearly is going to be all right.

He’s so anxious to get there that he doesn’t realize until he’s through the doors that he has no idea where he’s going. Or even if they’re gong to let him stay. Surely they’re not going to let three adults hang out in the ER in the middle of the night when one would suffice. 

He forgot he has T.K. Strand in his corner.

“How can I help you?” the nurse asks when he steps up to the counter.

“I’m here for my nephew? Sebastian Bryant? He came in with my sister,” Carlos says, feeling awkward.

“Oh you’re Carlos,” she says immediately. “T.K.’s boyfriend.”

“I—yeah,” Carlos says, surprised by her familiarity.

“I’m Stella. It’s so nice to finally meet you, although I wish it wasn’t because your nephew’s in here. T.K. talks about you all the time.”

“He does?”

“Oh my god, try getting him to stop. Carlos this, my boyfriend that, and now I see why. You two are gorgeous together,” she says, flashing him a smile. “Here come with me. I’ll take you to them. Darlene? Can you cover the desk?”

Stella takes him down a hall, past the general area of the ER to a more closed off section. It’s not a room, but it’s quieter here, and Carlos can hear T.K.’s voice even before Stella pulls back the curtain to reveal him.

“Found someone who belongs to you,” Stella says.

T.K.’s eyes find him, soft and relieved. “Hey, I was just about to text you an update. Thanks so much Stella.”

“No problem. I’m going to check and see where we’re at with the tests and then I’ll be back.”

“How’s it going?” Carlos asks quietly.

Sebastian is asleep in the bed, an IV in his arm and Fuzzy tucked in beside him. Lucía is sitting in a chair next to him, his little fingers curled around hers.

“They’re going to take him for a CT as soon as one opens up,” she says quietly. “He was crying when we got here, but they gave him some pain medication and he fell asleep like ten minutes ago.”

“Good,” Carlos says in relief. It feels so much better to know that there are people actively working to help Sebastian. “Nicholas is with Mom, he was still asleep when I left. And Justin’s getting on the first flight he can in the morning.”

“Okay.”

Lucía’s face crumples and she immediately puts her hands over her mouth to stifle a sob. T.K. looks at Carlos. “I’m going to go grab us some coffee,” he says, slipping discreetly out of the room.

Carlos squats down by his sister’s chair and puts a hand on her knee. She immediately covers it with her own and squeezes. “I’m sorry,” she says. “He just—he’s so little. He was so scared when we got here, it’s so bright and they put in the IV and he cried and I just, I need Justin to be here, because I am not strong enough for this.”

“He’s coming,” Carlos says. “He’s coming as fast as he can. And until he does I’m here, all right? I’m here with you and Mom is with Nicholas. Sebastian is going to be fine. He’s scared, but you’re taking such great care of him. You are an amazing mom. You’re doing everything right.”

She nods a couple times, clearly trying to internalize his words before taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes. “You know um, T.K. is pretty amazing too,” she tells him, wiping at her eyes. “I thought we’d be here for hours before we got answers, but he called ahead in the car and that nurse, Stella, was waiting for us. As soon as we were in the door they were drawing blood and starting tests. It’s like they rolled out the red carpet.” She nods toward the doorway. “Not everyone would do that kind of thing for someone they barely know.”

“That’s T.K.,” Carlos says, warmth blooming through his chest at her words. “He’s…incredible.”

“You know, I already liked him a lot, but now…” She quirks a smile. “You’d better hold onto him.”

Carlos nods, heart fluttering away in his chest. “That’s the plan.”

T.K. comes back with coffee right about the same time someone shows up to take Sebastian for his CT scan. He’s unhappy to be woken up, but mollified when Carlos promises to take him for ice cream once a week for the next month. 

The nurse is incredible, telling Sebastian he’s going to go on a ride in a spaceship, although that does nothing to help Carlos’ heart when they start the sedation and he watches Sebastian’s eyelids flutter shut, his body going limp in a weirdly unnatural way. He’s gone for over an hour, all of them sipping tepid hospital coffee in a desperate attempt not to fall asleep as the clock ticks later and later. 

When the orderly returns with him he’s completely zonked out and Carlos hopes he’ll stay that way. It’s not long after that an ER doctor shows up and informs them that the CT scan is indicating appendicitis, despite Sebastian’s slightly atypical presentation of symptoms. Lucía takes the news better than Carlos thought she might, she’s clearly relieved to have an answer and a defined course of action, even if it does mean a surgery they’re told is being scheduled for the early hours of the morning. Someone will be by soon to get them admitted and transferred to a room for the night.

“You guys should go home” she says. “You’ve done more than enough, really. He’s just going to sleep until it’s time for surgery and they’re not going to let you come into the room with us anyway.”

“Don’t worry about them kicking us out,” T.K. says immediately. “If you want us to stay that won’t be a problem.”

She smiles at him. “You’ve done more than enough tonight. I’ll be fine. I promise. Go home and get some sleep.”

Carlos is reluctant to leave her, but she’s right. There’s no point in staying when it’s so late and nothing is going to happen until morning anyway. The moment of crisis is past and now there’s nothing to do but wait.

“I’ll come back in the morning for his surgery,” Carlos says.

“You don’t have to—“ She must catch the look of determination in his eyes because she cuts herself off and nods. “Okay. Thank you.”

He stands and she meets him with a brief hug before she turns to T.K. “I really can’t thank you enough. I don’t think I would have made it tonight without you T.K.,” she says.

“Yes you would have,” he says graciously. “But I’m glad I could help. If anything changes in the night you have my number, don’t be afraid to call.”

“I will.” 

Carlos can’t help but notice that T.K. gets a slightly longer hug than he did and the warm feeling in his chest only intensifies. He reaches for T.K.’s hand as they head out into the hall and T.K. gives him a tired smile in return. “Oh, hang on one second,” he says as they pass the nurses station, letting go of Carlos’ hand. “I’ll be right back.”

He jogs over and flashes that winning smile again at the nurse who’s there, not Stella this time, and chats with her for a minute before returning to Carlos’ side. “What was that about?” Carlos asks, interlacing their fingers together again.

“I just wanted to make sure they put Sebastian in a private room,” T.K. says. “They have the space, Natalie says it won’t be a problem.”

“Natalie huh?” Carlos says as they exit the automatic doors and head for the darkened parking structure. “She also falls victim to your beautiful eyes and charming smile?”

“Victim?” T.K. scoffs. “No one is a victim. I have paid for these hospital perks with dozens of coffees and donuts and muffins and even the occasional Target run. This is just good natured southern kindness being returned.”

Carlos laughs out loud. “Right. Not a single bit of it has to do with your innate charm and that smile that brings people to their knees and makes them feel like they’re only person you’ve ever cared about.”

“I mean, it had to start somewhere,” T.K. says, flashing him that exact smile. “But we’ve come a long way since then.”

“Well thank you,” Carlos says, meaning it from the bottom of his heart. “I honestly I don’t how to say thank you enough. My family is…they’re so important to me and I…”

“Hey.” T.K. tugs him to a stop and meets his gaze under the half light of the parking garage. “They’re important to me too.”

The drive home is blessedly short and they fall into bed exhausted at around midnight only to wake up again at five to head back over to the hospital. Carlos tells T.K. he doesn’t have to come, but the look he gets shuts him up immediately. T.K. is clearly invested. 

They stop for coffee on the way, real, decent coffee, and some bagels, plus a cake pop for Sebastian after surgery. 

He gets a text update as they’re pulling up to the hospital again; Justin is on a flight and should get there by the time the surgery is over. It’s a relief to know his sister will have her support to lean on again in the near future. 

Once they arrive Carlos sits back and watches in wonder as T.K. works his magic. Someone shows up to give Sebastian not one, not two, but three different stuffed toys along with a coloring pack and some Hot Wheels cars. T.K. sits down on his bed and explains the whole surgery in terms a six year old an understand, and when the time comes, Sebastian is whisked off without a single tear.

He’s seen T.K. at work before, but this is an entirely different level of incredible. He knows almost every nurse, every doctor, every orderly that they see, and if he doesn’t, by the time they leave he’s made them feel like an old friend. People can’t seem to do enough for him. 

Justin gets there about twenty minutes after the surgery starts, exhausted and haggard looking, his collared shirt buttoned the wrong way and his hair looking like he didn’t even comb it. T.K. somehow procures fresh, non-cafeteria coffee for him, whispering something about the doctor’s lounge, as well as a banana and a granola bar. 

Everything goes exactly as expected and soon enough the doctor is back to let them know that Sebastian was a champ during surgery and they expect a quick recovery. Lucía and Justin head back to wait with him until the sedation wears off, while Carlos and T.K. continue hanging out in the waiting room until Sebastian can have more visitors.

When Carlos hears a loud commotion behind him, he knows without even looking that reinforcements have arrived. Adriana and Francesca have shown up with more balloons than a circus, a gigantic stuffed bear, and several bags of god only knows what else. “Oh my god, Cesca don’t let them float away,” Adriana is saying as they try and get through the automatic doors that keep closing before all the balloons can make it through.

“I’m not!” Francesca snaps back. “It’s the stupid doors! You could like try to help!”

“With what hands?” Adriana cries, her arms full of stuffed bear.

“Ah, perfect,” Carlos says weakly, looking at T.K. who is already smiling at his sister and cousin’s antics.

“Carlos! Get over here!” Francesca barks and he stands with a sigh, going to help her get in the doorway. 

“Hello, good morning, how are you guys doing?” Carlos prompts as he grabs the brightly colored strings and yanks them inside, the balloons bopping along behind and nearly smacking an elderly woman in the face.

“I mean you’re both awake and have coffee, so I assume you’re fine,” she tells him as she plonks into a seat across from T.K.

“Yeah, geez, way to make our nephew’s surgery about you,” Adriana says with a roll of her eyes. 

Carlos doesn’t bother to remind her that technically Sebastian is a cousin to her, not a nephew; labels other than “familia” ceased to have any meaning to them long ago. “So what’s the deal? Is he okay?” Francesca asks.

“The surgery went well,” T.K. says. “Sebastian’s appendix didn’t rupture, so the chances of infection are low. He should be able to head home in a day or so.”

“Phew. Poor little dude. This sucks,” Francesca says.

“But he’s okay,” Adriana says. “That’s what’s important. Everyone is okay. And all his friends are going to be very jealous when he gets back to school.”

She opens one of the bags and pulls out a tray of something that immediately fills the air with the scent of tomatoes and cheese. “Why do you have tamales?” Carlos asks. “It’s ten am.”

“Because Mom told us to go by the house and bring them over,” Francesca says. “She doesn’t, and I quote, ‘want anyone eating that hospital garbage, it will rot their stomachs.’”

“Sounds like your mom,” T.K. says with a cheeky smile as he reaches for one of the tamales. 

“We also have…taquitos, mac and cheese for Sebastian, and…arroz con pollo,” Francesca says, checking the other bags. 

“Your mom just had this all on hand?” T.K. asks, his mouth full.

“Tía Andrea always has everything on hand,” Adriana says.

Despite his initial scoffing, by the time Justin comes back an hour later to tell them Sebastian is up for visitors, Carlos has eaten three tamales, half a dozen taquitos, and a plateful of arroz con pollo. Apparently hospitals make him hungry. They’ve also fed four nurses and an orderly that T.K. knows, and they haven’t even put a dent in what’s there. 

Justin looks a little less of a mess now, he’s clearly spent some time in front of a mirror and his shirt is buttoned the right way now. He’s smiling in spite of the tiredness in his eyes, which widen in delight at the sight of the food. “Oh thank god for Andrea,” he says, immediately reaching for a taquito. 

“Hey, how do you know it wasn’t us?” Adriana asks, clearly offended.

Justin fixes her with a look and she shrugs. “I mean, yeah it was Tía Andrea, but we’re the ones that brought it over here,” she says.

“Thank you for your service,” Justin says around a mouthful.

“How’s Sebastian?” Francesca asks.

“Better than Lucía or me,” he says. “He says it barely hurts and he’s very excited to have a cool scar.” He looks at T.K. “Apparently you’ve really made this hospital experience feel like a vacation T.K.”

“I’m just glad he’s doing all right,” T.K. says. 

“Can we see him?” Carlos asks. 

“Yeah,” Justin says. “Lucí sent me to get you all.”

“Well then let’s get this party moved!” Francesca says, closing up the tupperware with incredible speed built from years of cleaning up house parties and hiding the evidence before their parents got home.

They make quite a parade marching through the pediatric wing of the hospital with balloons and bears and food galore. But then, the Reyes clan usually does. They’re not exactly known for being a calm and quiet bunch.

Sebastian is sitting up in bed eating a popsicle, looking like the happiest human alive even with an IV in his arm and stitches in his side. “Sebby!” Francesca says happily. “You’re looking good there buddy!”

“You brought me balloons?” he asks as Lucía quickly rescues his popsicle, which is in danger of falling to the floor.

“We brought you balloons and a bear and macaroni and cheese from Abuela,” Adriana tells him.

“Can I have mac and cheese right now?” he asks Lucía.

“Let’s maybe wait until after the doctor comes by again,” she says.

“But then I can have it? And the ice cream Tío Carlos promised me?”

It gets a chuckle from everyone in the room. 

The women start to fuss, setting up the balloons and bear in the best possible place, but Carlos’ eyes are on T.K. who is not-so-subtly checking out all the monitors and lines, ensuring that things are exactly as they should be. God, he loves this man. He loves him more than he thought he could ever love a human being.

“Well this looks like a party!” A man whose name tag identifies him as Dr. Nguyen, comes into the room, iPad in hand. Carlos assumes this must be the surgeon. “Sebastian who are all these fine people who came to visit you?”

“This is my Tía Cesca and my Tía Adriana. They brought me balloons,” Sebastian says, pointing to them in turn. 

“Well that’s very nice.”

“And that’s my Tío Carlos,” Sebastian says.

“Oh, is this the Tío you were telling me about? The one who’s a paramedic and helped you feel better?”

“No, my Tío Carlos is just a police officer,” Sebastian says. “My Tío T.K. is the one who’s a paramedic.” He turns his head to look at where T.K. is standing next to his IV pole. “Paramedics help people feel better. Right Tío?”

T.K. freezes for a second, his eyes locking with Carlos’. “Um, yeah,” he says finally. “Yes, that’s right. Paramedics help people. And then doctors help them even more.”

“Yeah, Dr. Nguyen took my appendix out,” Sebastian says. He looks the doctor square in the face. “My mom says you have to tell me if I can have mac and cheese or not.”

Dr. Nguyen laughs. “I can do that. Let’s give you a little check up and see.”

“We’ll give you some privacy,” Francesca says, which is hilarious given that she hasn’t let anyone have a single minute of privacy since the day she was born.

They step out into the hall, Adriana and Francesca immediately abandoning T.K. and Carlos to go look for hot doctors. Carlos runs a hand through his curls and looks at where his boyfriend is leaning up against the wall. “Well I guess we know who his new favorite tío is,” he says.

T.K. looks up, uncharacteristically nervous. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. You’re not just a police officer.”

Carlos chuckles. “Oh I’m sure he meant it exactly like that. Tío Carlos is just a tío who wrestles and gives him ice cream. Tío T.K. saves lives. You made an impression.”

T.K. blushes. “I’m glad I could help.” His gaze softens. “I can’t believe he called me tío.”

And despite the fact that no one in the family has ever referred to T.K. that way before, Carlos isn’t surprised in the least. “Is that okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” T.K. says quickly. “Yeah I—as long as you and your family are okay with it. I don’t…I wouldn’t want him to be confused.”

“He’s not confused.” Carlos’ words are soft and he reaches down, intertwining their fingers. “I don’t think anybody is confused anymore about why you’re so important to me.”

T.K. meets his gaze and Carlos feels like he can see all the way into the vulnerability at the core of this man who came here so broken and lost, and is just starting to figure out how vital he is to everyone around him. Carlos leans in and their lips meet, soft and sweet. It’s not enough to really say thank you, he’s not sure he can ever truly find a way, but in this moment he knows he’ll try. Everyday for the rest of his life if he needs to.

The door to Sebastian’s room opens and Carlos reluctantly pulls back, keeping their hands firmly clasped even when T.K. starts to pull away a little. “Bad news,” Lucía says. “Mac and cheese is off the table until tomorrow. T.K., he would like to know if you have any connections that can get him jello instead. But only the red kind. Not the green.”

“Absolutely,” T.K. says, already pulling out his phone to send a text. “Red jello coming right up.”

Carlos shakes his head and smiles as they reenter the room, Sebastian’s face lighting up when he sees T.K. again. Carlos has always thought T.K. seemed like magic. And now everyone else can see it too.