#and I'm excited for the new birds to come by my feeders

[butcherlarry]

Exercise Fic Recs 11

Back to Superbat fanfic for this week!  Well, almost all Superbat.  There is one Twobats (Burharvey?) fic included, “Dad’s New Boyfriend” by TheClamBeforetheStorm.  It’s not completed, but it’s been fun to read!  The first fic is an update of one I’m currently following as well (I think I’ve recced it before, still so good!).  The other three are Supebat :D

dead man’s party by TheResurrectionist

Dad’s New Boyfriend by TheClamBeforetheStorm

the difference between stone and skin (is immaterial) by vectacular

hear the future whisper by Anonymous

Mind if I cut in? by Mawiish

The weather is getting warmer, and this weekend has been so nice.  I went out and touched grass twice this week!  There’s a nice little park close to where I live, so I walked around there yesterday.  I was able to get some pictures of robins!  Unfortunately, Batman was nowhere to be seen 😔

The coffee shop I go to updated there seasonal lattes for Spring!  I got a Hibiscus Morning latte to go with my pastry and breakfast sandwich.  Very tasty!

It’s getting more and more green at the arboretum!

Trees and bushes are starting to bud!!

I took the long, rocky path today!  I like how the rocks make the path look like it has steps.

I just thought this pool of water looked neat.

Lots of birds at the bird watch station!  A blue jay, female rose-breasted grosbeak (I think???), robin (again, no Batman around), female red-bellied woodpecker, and male dark-eyed junco.

There was also a white tailed deer hanging around too???  We both looked at each other in shock for a bit, because we surprised each other.  There are fences around this area of the arboretum to keep the deer out because they’ll eat all the pretty flowers.  I have no idea how this guy got in here, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen them in this area of the arboretum.  

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 1

A/N: This Valentine's Day fic got so fucking big I had to break it up into parts. So I decided to also post them leading up to Valentine's day! Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs! At this point I've just become their foster mother XD Word Count: 5.2K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC Pairings: Paternal Crewel & Yuu, Grandpa Trein & Yuu L (Here). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Crack)

L is for the way you look at me...

The thought had luckily hit them mid-way through January. After confirming with Crewel that Valentine’s Day was still very much a holiday in Twisted Wonderland, Yuu realized they had a large number of chocolates they wanted to give out. Not even counting their boyfriends’ families, they had made a number of friends and pseudo-family members in this new world that deserved to be shown love and appreciation. So, Yuu had to think up and create or buy over thirty gifts. And that’s only people on the school campus; they knew they wanted to send chocolates to their boyfriend's family members, as a thank you for being so nice to them. Sadly, they were very aware they were not going to get that much money out of Crowley, no matter how they worded their nonexistent blackmail. So they sat in their kitchen, fingernails tapping against the island counter as they thought about how to make their plan come to fruition. 

Then the idea struck. Alone the task was basically impossible with their schedule normally filled by their loved ones and their bullshit. But, with help, it was very possible.

They quickly jogged to the window leading to the backyard of Ramshackle. Opening it and sticking their head out they gleefully sang, “Oh fairies~!? I have a deal to make with you~!” Then they stepped back, crossing their arms and waiting as the sound of flapping wings grew louder and louder.

Soon a burst of fairies all flew into the kitchen, the small doll-sized beings finding places to sit as they looked at them in curiosity. Yuu never thought their old habit of leaving bowls of milk out for strays would result in having pull with the sizable fairy population that lived on the Night Raven campus. But they weren't complaining. The fairies were cute and more than willing to do minor repairs and upkeep of Ramshackle for cubes of sugar or meat. Once they were all seated and quiet, Yuu spoke.

“Hello, my dear Fairy Folk. I have an offer to give today that I hope you will take. The day of love is coming up in a few weeks and I would adore it if you'd all help me craft my treats for my larger loved ones.”

The fairies all turned to each other, whispering to themselves with tinkling tones and excited wing flutters. Soon, one lone familiar fairy flew up and landed on Yuu's waiting hand, “Yes, Timothy? Your demands?”

Timothy was a ‘Tinkering Fairy’. Yuu had met him first of all the fairies that came to Ramshackle for milk and treats. The tiny male trying to open and fix the bird feeder after Yuu had improperly filled it, leaving it to be jammed and useless. Timothy was also more than willing to try his hand at fixing anything that broke in Ramshackle. A service he would create himself if Yuu didn't give him something to do frequently enough.

The tinker fairy chimed out, hands moving in wide arcs before looking at Yuu with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. The fairies were well aware Yuu couldn't understand them, but since they wore their emotions so openly Yuu had no issue determining if they were upset with them or not.

Yuu hummed, their free hand reaching up to tap at their chin in mock thought, “I'm guessing you want to know what your payment would be?” She smiles at Timothy's excited chiming, “Well, I'm not gonna ask you guys to work for free. I'm going to be buying a lot of sugar, fruit, and chocolate to get a discount from Sam. Anything left over from the gift-making will be for you guys to take.”

Another wave of excited chiming comes from the crowd, many of them already nodding their heads in agreement. But Timothy tapped his foot, arms crossed with an annoyingly cute pout on his lips.

Yuu rolled their eyes but still smiled, using a hand to poke at Timothy's chest, “And~ everyone who helps is guaranteed a kiss.” Was it underhanded to use the tiny fairy's unrequited crush against him? Yes, very so. Was it a surefire way to get him to agree and subsequently gather up every other fairy in the woods to help? Also yes.

But, luckily, Timothy took the bait, beaming and having his wings flutter so hard he nearly took off from their palm.

“We got a deal then?” Yuu holds out their pinky, letting Timothy grip it with both his hands as they shook on it.

It took time to get the seemingly metric tons of chocolates delivered. Not to mention testing out fillings and last-minute ordering luster dust and various colored chocolate pearls. Plus convincing Crewel to teach them how to make the molds he uses in his alchemy lollipop lesson to make sure they had every shape needed. But by nearly 11pm on February 13th, Yuu and the fairy entourage had completed every last bag of chocolate. Yuu had bagged up their respective groups of treats in clear plastic bags and colorful ribbons. Ribbons that were being re-tied by a flora fairy wearing a scrap of Pomefiore printed fabric as a stylish wrap skirt. The fairy re-tying the ribbons into more fanciful knots and bows with a critical eye.

“Thank you, Tulip. Vil is gonna love these bows.” Yuu smiles as the fairy's wings flutter in happiness. Giving their chocolates one last look over and a glance at the clock, Yuu claps their hands to gain the gathering's attention, “Alright everybody! That's a wrap. Time to discuss payment.”

The fairies stood at attention, none more eager than Timothy.

“As promised, the remaining chocolates, cream, and fruit are yours to take back into the hollow with you.” Yuu watched as a number of fairies quickly gathered up the remaining blocks of chocolate, using their combined strength to lift the pounds up and out of the kitchen. Several other fairies grabbed the containers of cream and fruits to do the same.

Soon there were no fairies left in the kitchen, “Oh, fuck wait. Their kisses…” a chime brings Yuu's attention to the island. Timothy standing alone and smiling brightly up at them, “Oh, of course you'd want your kiss more than anyone.” With a fond smile and a shake of their head they say, “Close your eyes.”

Timothy closes his eyes, wings nearly vibrating from his excitement. A kiss! From the pixie of his dreams, nothing could-

A sudden weight against his chest makes him open his eyes. A drop wrapped in shiny aluminum with a paper tail sticking out of the top was placed in his arms. He blinks, looking at Yuu in confusion as they lean on the counter with a mischievous smile.

“There you are. A kiss.”

…

Yuu laughs as Timothy starts to rage, his tiny body almost turning completely red as he throws the chocolate drop on the counter. Stomping around until he just sat down, arms crossed and legs splayed out. A frustrated pout on his face.

“Come on! It's a kiss, just as I promised.” Yuu was sure they had gained favor with the fairies because they enjoyed playing tricks just as much as the smaller fae did. But as Timothy's wings slowly started to droop in actual sadness, Yuu coos. Leaning more on the island to try and catch a glimpse of the fairy's face, “Aw…don't be mad Timmy. A chocolate kiss isn't so bad right?”

The tinker actually shuffled himself to angle away from Yuu, feet kicking in mild anger before going still again.

Yuu rolls her eyes, smiling at Timothy before snapping her fingers to gain the fairy's attention. Once the pouting fae looked over his shoulder at her, she held up her pointer finger. Making sure Timothy saw Yuu kiss the point of her finger before bringing it to tap against his cheek, “Mwah.”

It took the fairy a few moments to realize what she had done. But when he did, his whole body flushed red, a wide smile stretching his face as his wings fluttered so hard Yuu was certain she heard them buzzing. She laughs, cupping her hand under Timothy just in case he fell, “I'm glad you're happy with your kiss,” using her other hand to pluck the forgotten chocolate from the counter, placing it into his arms again, “Now go party with your friends before they eat all the fruit.”

Timothy nods, blush fading to just his cheeks. He flies to the window, only to pause and quickly turn around. Yuu blinked, realizing the small fairy had zipped closer to place a tiny kiss on her cheek before flying away into the night.

Yuu chuckles, tapping her own cheek in amusement before closing the window and exiting the kitchen. It was late and Yuu had a very busy day in the morning.

Yuu huffed, walking down the path to Sam's shop with Grim pouting beside them. Both were dressed in more fanciful attire for the holiday. Grim in an elaborate layering of red, white, and black ribbons tied to give him a massive bow. Yuu was in a gray overall dress, bright red tights with black imprints of hearts patterning them. A loose, white long sleeve and platform white ankle boots. The outfit accessorized with their hair tied back in a half updo by a red ribbon and a red heart-shaped pendant around their neck. A large black tote bag with heart patterned argyle thumping against their side.

“Stop pouting, people are gonna think I hit you.” Yuu looked to their side, raising an eyebrow at Grim's atomic pout and tear-filled eyes.

The dire beast looks up at them, expression still on the verge of tears yet angry, “You didn't make me any chocolates! You didn't even let me have any of the gummies you left out for the fairies! They already got a bunch of stuff, this isn't fair at all!” Grim took a moment to stomp his foot, even trying to breathe fire at the tote bag slung over Yuu's shoulder.

They manage to step out of the way, glaring down at Grim, “Ay! Enough! You'll get something good from Sam's if you stop being a little bastard.”

“No! I will continue to be a little bastard because you don't love me!”

“Oh my seven, you are a toddler.” Yuu shakes their head, opening the door and pushing a stubborn Grim into the shop with their foot, “Sam! I'm here for my things!”

The shadow clerk seemed to rise from behind his front counter, as though he was just crouched and waiting for someone to come in, “Lil pup! Perfect timing, my friends and I just finished wrapping up your orders.” He reached behind the counter, pulling out five small but decorated bags, “And my friends have also placed your package in your room as paid for by discreet delivery fees. Anything else I can do ya for?”

Yuu peeked as much as they could into the bags without ruining Sam's carefully placed tissue paper and ribbon decorations. Smiling at each gift Yuu nods, “Just one thing, Sam” They point below them, calling the shopkeeper’s attention to the pouting lump on the floor, “Can you watch this pathetic creature for me? Just for a bit.”

Sam couldn't help but snicker, “Aw…what's wrong kitty cat? Tuna can go bad?”

Grim looks up at Sam, face pulled as though he smelled something sour, “Yuu doesn't love me…”

“Aw~.”

Yuu rolls her eyes, grabbing the black and blue striped bag from the counter before holding it out in front of Grim's pouting figure.

The dire beast looks at the bag in interest, snatching it away from Yuu and ignoring their remark of ‘rude’. Grim opened the bag with excitement only to pout at seeing a black square of fabric, “What am I supposed to do with this!?”

“Oh, Grim. You dumbass.” Yuu kneels down, reaching into the bag and pulling out a simple wallet. They take the time to show the back, smiling as Grim's eyes glitter at the laminated school logo and gold lettering of ‘Night Raven Student’. Yuu clips the wallet to one side of Grim's collar, showing him how the clip was on a retractable line.

“...Okay. This is kinda cool. But it still isn't as good as chocolate…”

Sam hums from above them, leaning over the counter to witness their exchange, “I don't know kitty cat. I think you got a pretty sweet gift.”

“Grim, with this wallet I give you the gift of your own debit card.” Yuu gestures around them, “With it, you may purchase whatever food you want without my permission. Idia agreed to sponsor your bank account so I know you've got money on that thing.”

Grim's expression went from confused to shocked then excited. He fumbled with the wallet, paws managing to see the front of the wallet was actually clear plastic, showing the simple black card with his name spelled out in blocky neon blue letters. Yuu bought him snacks, sure. But they were also always eating them just as much as he was, claiming it was the ‘purchase tax’ since they bought them. But…if he bought the snacks himself…

“Y-ya mean it!? I can buy any kinda snack I want!?”

“Yep.”

“And you can't steal any of it!?”

“Nooope.” They pop their lips on the ending ‘P’. Reaching forward to pet Grim's head lovingly, leaning to place a kiss on his forehead, “Happy Valentine’s Day, lil guy.”

Grim jumps for joy, spinning in a circle before speeding off into Sam's shop. His echoing call of ‘Thank you’ fading the deeper he went into the store.

“...Hey, Sam, how big is this place?”

“So what else are you doing today lil pup?” Sam asked, eyes clearly telling Yuu to stop questioning the physics of his store.

They roll their eyes, grabbing the other four gift bags and carefully placing them in their tote bag, “Well, I'm going to deliver festive Valentine's treats to my favorite people on campus.”

“Oh?” Sam perks up, a hand held out as though to receive a gift.

…

Yuu continues to smile at Sam's confused expression, tilting their head in question when he frowned, “Something wrong Sam?”

“That's cold, lil pup. After all those gummies I legally don't sell you.” The man curls his lip at them, waving them away as he walks from behind the counter, “Get out of my store. I got no place for solicitors in here.”

Yuu laughs, waving as Sam walked deeper into the store, possibly to keep Grim from making too big a mess, “Bye Sam! Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Once Sam's grumbling figure was out of view, Yuu looked along the ground before hissing out a whisper at a passing shadow, “Hey. Hey. Come here…”

The inky blob blinks up to them with glowing purple eyes, the image of curiosity. Yuu pulls a baggie from their tote. A clear plastic bag with a bright purple ribbon tying it shut, the bag was filled with a mixture of dark, milk, and white chocolate shapes of bones, skulls, and ghosts. Scattered throughout the bag were varying sizes of black and purple chocolate pearls.

Yuu hands the baggie to the shadow, “Throw this at the back of Sam's head as hard as you can.”

The shadow's expression turned wicked, a tendril of black reaching from the floor and engulfing the bag before the being zooms away. Yuu giggles, rushing out of the shop just as Sam yells in pain.

Sam glares at the snickering shadows at his feet, “What the hell…what'd ya even throw at me…?” He looks over the bag, a smile slowly breaking across his face as he realizes where the bag of chocolate came from, “Aw…” Sam throws the bag into the air, catching it with one hand before tucking it into his apron, “I'm gonna charge them double next time they come in…”

The teacher’s housing building acted as a dorm on campus, though most would find it felt more like a mini hotel. Complete with an elegant sitting area the faculty met in often, either to plan outings or simply complain about the many problem students of Night Raven.

Hui-Yan shrugs, swirling her mug of black coffee before speaking, “I just think it's coddling them. You're entitled to your own option, that's simply how I feel about it.”

Ingrid hummed, pulling her own cream and sugar-filled coffee away from her lips, “No, I understand. I'm asking why you think the children having access to an infirmary is coddling them?”

From his armchair, Trein sighs. Placing Lucious's brush to the side as he spoke aloud, “We should teach them basic first aid…”

Vargas nearly overfills his mug of coffee, only saving himself from burning his hand as Iomhar tilted the pot back, “Wait. Do we not teach them first aid?”

Crewel sighs, lazily typing on his phone with one hand and the other pouring a splash of rum from his flask into his mug, “No…we should though…”

Iomhar nods solemnly, taking the pot from Vargas, “They have been almost dying a lot this year…”

Ingrid leaned forward, eyes trained on Hui-Yan even though the other woman clearly looked done with their short conversation, “Oh~. This a fragmented hint at your tragic past?”

Edric doesn't look up from his holographic screen, tapping away as he sipped his smoothie, “The cases of near-death experiences are up by 72% from last year.”

Trein sputters, eyes widening at Edric's calculations, “72%!?”

Crewel placed his phone down, finally thinking back to all the explosions he'd had in his potions classes that year, “Oh Seven, please tell me it isn't that high because of me.”

Ingrid smiled at Hui-Yan's blank, mildly annoyed stare, “Let me guess. You were…injured during your super lethal swordswoman training-”

“Surprisingly, no, Crewel. Though your classes are a main contributor to the yearly burn injury percentage.”

Trein huffs, glaring down his nose at Crewel, “Honestly, all these years and still so irresponsible…”

“-but, when the doctor entered, you knew it was a trap-”

Crewel mimics Trein under his breath before speaking louder, “All these years and you're still on my ass, old man.”

Vargas hummed from his cup of coffee, nudging Edric lightly, “Well, what's causing it?”

“Unsurprisingly, the thing that Crowley's been black boxing on all our official reports since the beginning of the year.”

Vargas hums again, louder and with a more strained look on his face, “...That's been happening a lot this year now that I think about it.”

Trein scratches at Lucious' ear, eyebrows furrowed in thought, “At a seemingly increasing rate too…”

“-So as your lover lay dying in your arms you swore to never enter an infirmary again!”

“Ingrid, darling?” Crewel smiled sweetly, though he was slowly growing just as annoyed as Hui-Yan's schooled features hid, “Can you focus on the real conversation for forty seconds?”

Edric hums, raising an eyebrow at his screen, “Speaking of Yuu, she's entered the building.”

“They've what-”

The doors to the sitting area suddenly burst open, Yuu stood in the entryway with a wide smile, “Hi~!”

Hui-Yan groans under her breath, mumbling into her mug of coffee, “Oh no…”

Yuu pouts, walking farther into the room to place their bag on the dining table, “I've done nothing to you…”

“I don't trust you, child.”

“Well, I guess I can take my delightful gifts and just fuck off then, huh?”

Ingrid quickly stood up, smiling with her eyes glittering as she crowded against Yuu, “Gifts? For me? Your favorite teacher!?”

Crewel clicks his tongue, sneering at Ingrid, “Oh, like you'd be my puppy's favorite…”

Before the two could start bickering, Yuu started pulling out the gift bags and clear ribbon-tied packages and handing them to the respective teachers.

“For you Ms. Oster.” A plaid and golden-trimmed gift bag was placed in her waiting hands. Yuu smiled as the teacher pulled out a small store-bought heart-shaped box of fancy chocolates and a jeweled bracelet, “I thought you could vague text photos to your sisters and have them think you're dating someone-”

“-Then I could act nonchalant but clearly flustered! Oh, that's perfect!” Ingrid quickly clicked the bracelet onto her wrist, rushing off to the corner to take photos of the chocolate and her bejeweled wrist.

Yuu turns to Hui-Yan, rolling her eyes as the woman squints at her, “Literally, I have never done anything to you.”

“I’ve heard enough of what you’ve done. I also don’t like sweets nor accept jewelry. You have nothing civil to offer me.”

Yuu holds up a clear bag tied closed with an ornate black ribbon, four skewers of Tanghulu inside. Each skewer held three large green grapes, with various fruits adding more color and variety. Slices of pineapple and kiwi cut into star and heart shapes.

Hui-Yan stared at the bag in Yuu’s hand, eyes seemingly trying to burn a hole through the plastic and remelt the sugar. She sighs, holding her hand out and letting Yuu cheer and smack the treat into her grasp. She makes quick work of opening the bag to bite off one of the fruits, chewing lightly before she mumbles out, “The shell is too thick.”

Yuu was in the process of handing Edric his bag, only to turn and harshly whisper to Hui-Yan, “Experience happiness for just…40 seconds, okay?” Instead of placing the white and red pixel-patterned bag into Edric’s waiting hands, they swing the bag into a high arch to smack lightly against Edric’s blank face.

“...” The Ignihyde advisor doesn’t respond, undoing the black ribbon and looking into the bag. The only emotion shown on his face was his one visible eyebrow raising in surprise, a hand pulling out several USBs designed to look like mini candy bars, “Oh…I didn’t have a Chuckles* one of these…” He pockets that singular USB, placing the other’s back in the bag and muttering under his breath, “Satisfying.”

Iomhar sat up straighter when Yuu turned to him, “Ok…I wasn’t sure what the hell to get you. But, I know you like bears…So I made these.” Yuu holds out the bag tied with an orange ribbon, small graham crackers shaped like bears with chocolate piped faces and milk chocolate shaped like axes inside, “Do you like them?”

“...” Iomhar smiles, taking the bag and holding it close to his chest as he gave a simple nod in thanks.

“Fuck yes.” Yuu briefly pumps their fist, high-fiving themself as congratulations on a job well done. Turning to Vargas they open their mouth only to have the buff man hold up a hand to silence them.

“No need, Ramshackle. I don’t eat chocolate; too many empty calories.”

“Yeah, I assumed you would say that. So I got you this, you weird man.” They reach into their tote bag, pulling out a large container of chocolate-flavored protein powder with a combo of red and yellow bows wrapped around it.

“Ooooo, this is a good brand…” Vargas takes the container, smiling and nodding in approval as he read over the ingredients and serving sizes.

Yuu then turns to Crewel, the two of them giving each other small smiles, “Papa Dog.”

“Puppy.”

In sync, they hand each other black and white patterned bags; Yuu handing Crewel a bag with bright red ribbon straps, edged with red lace and filled with black and white tissue paper while Crewel hands over a black and white bag with gold trimming and filled with teal tissue paper. He opens his gift, pulling out two chunks of bone that seemed to be freshly removed from an animal.

The other teachers all look at the bones in concern, Vargas lightly leaning away from Yuu, “Ramshackle, who’d you rip those out of!?”

Crewel coos, smiling as he gave the bones a once over before putting them back, “Beef bones for Chenille and Muslin*! They’ll love them, puppy.”

Yuu opens their own bag, gasping as they pull out a black leather, spiked collar. The spikes twisted engraved bulbs and swirling designs stamped into the leather, “Yes! You got me the Mad Dog choker!” They quickly unclasp their heart pendant necklace, wrapping the chain around the collar to have the heart act as a tag. Reclasping the necklace and then clicking the collar closed with a giddy smile, “Thank you!”

Crewel accepts their hug, humming before letting Yuu pull away, “Well, you weren't subtle in the least about wanting it. I'd have to be blind and deaf to not see all the hints you were dropping.”

“I will apologize for gluing the ad for it to the rearview window of your car…” Yuu hands over a clear bag. Tied closed with black, red, and white ribbons and filled with bone-shaped chocolates. Crewel raises an eyebrow at the red luster dusted lumps throughout the bag, “Those are chocolate-dipped raisins. Since honestly, raisin butter is fucking gross and I wasn't gonna try to taste test chocolate with it.”

Crewel pulls Yuu into another hug, gently petting their head, “Thank you, puppy. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine's Day, Papa Dog.”

Trein looks up in surprise when Yuu steps in front of him. He pets Lucious, raising an eyebrow in question, “Yes, Yuu?”

They smile, holding out a clear baggie with what he assumed to be truffles delicately shaped to resemble cats with red and purple colored chocolate pearls inside, “For my favorite teacher.”

Trien could only smile as he accepted the chocolates, ignoring the others exploding at the fact he was Yuu's favorite.

“I am literally your father, you little-”

“Wait, what!? I was texting my sister, who's the favorite?”

“Come on, Ramshackle! I thought you loved my class!”

“I mean, I don't like you, so…”

“I taught you how to snap a bone with only a strike. How am I not your favorite…?”

Edric looked up from his screen, eyeing Iomhar with a level of intensity as though the taller man had personally slighted him, “Why would you teach them that…?”

“...”

Yuu held the last gift bag up, matte burgundy with a purple ribbon keeping it tied close, “And a gift for the lovely Lucious…” Reaching inside, Yuu pulled out a fancy silver bowl on rococo-styled legs to give it height.

Trien takes the cat bowl with a smile, bringing it closer to Lucious to smell the object, “How thoughtful of you. This is a wonderful present…” He reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a card and handing it to Yuu, “A gift as well. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.”

Reading the card, Yuu's eyes widened, rereading it a few times before they let out a scream and jumped up and down out of joy, “REALLY!? REALLY, REALLY!?”

“While it's not the physical copies, I was sure you'd still like a copy.” Trein had gifted Yuu their own digital copy of one, if not the, largest collection of historical facts of Twisted Wonderland. It was a multi-volume series that was basically a staple of every historical educator's must-read list. So while Trein would have loved to gift the budding historian the whole physical set, a digital copy would be much easier to handle at the moment.

Yuu squeals, spinning around before throwing their arms around Trein's neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you, grandpa!” They pulled away, hands clasped tightly against the card as they ran out of the room, no doubt to quickly redeem their book at the nearest computer.

Trein sat in his chair, smiling with just an air of smugness as he stroked a purring Lucious, “I'm the favorite.”

Crewel huffed, harshly chewing on a chocolate bone, “Oh, fuck you, old man…”

Crowley sat in his office, sighing as he looked over his pile of paperwork. He'd normally slip the forms into his coworkers' own workloads and simply collect them later. But they were all very firm on not doing any work during holidays, even if they were minor reports or the expense balancing he had put off to the last minute. He huffs, shuffling the papers around. Honestly, he was the Headmage, how could not only his subordinates but also his students bully him into making minor holidays free days?

He perks up hearing the door click open, “Hello?”

Yuu stood in the doorway, frowning in disdain before they closed the door behind them and walked closer. They stop at his desk, looking at him as though he was some great annoyance they weren't allowed to rid themselves of.

“...”

“...”

“Do you need something-”

“You are literally the worst type of educator I have ever met.”

“AH- Excuse you!?”

Yuu kept going, as though his outburst wasn't even registered, “You're lazy, irresponsible, a hypocrite, deeply suspicious, kinda ugly-”

Crowley clasped his hands, breathing in through his nose as he closed his eyes. They'd…run out of hurtful words at some point…he's sure of it. He tries to hide it but could only pout at seeing Yuu had started counting on their fingers all of his supposed ‘negative’ traits.

“-terrible at dealing with your students, the other teachers don't even respect you, you do so many shitty things openly it's almost hard not to blackmail you, you haven't replaced the damn computers in the library even though they are probably as old as you, and also, I don't think you know what the word ‘kind’ means…”

“...” Crowley huffs, snatching his papers off his desk to bring them closer to his face, “Well, if you're quite finished! I have work to do, since you seem to think I'm so lazy!”

Yuu stares at him, a hand on their hip as they rolled their eyes at Crowley's tantrum, “But…” they sigh as Crowley peaks untrusting eyes over his stack of papers, “I…care about you.” They reach into their tote and pull out a plastic bag tied closed with royal blue and black ribbons, holding it like a wet towel with two fingers. Gold luster dusted feather-shaped dark chocolates with pearls of dark blue scattered inside.

Crowley looks at the chocolates in shock before he exclaims in happiness. He snatches them from Yuu's loose grasp and coos, “Oh! My thoughtful beneficiary, what a lovely surprise! I knew you wouldn't forget to gift your caring, supportive, kind patron this holiday!” he stands, ignoring Yuu annoyingly shying away as he gathers them up into a hug.

“Ugh. Stop endearing yourself to me with your sad, wet rat display…” They still hug Crowley back with a small smile, “They're filled with coconut cream. Happy Valentine’s Day, Crowley. Now get off of me, I got places to be.” 

“Yes. I suppose you do. Have a wonderful day my dear, Happy Valentine's Day!” They exchange waves, Yuu slamming the door shut behind them much to his displeasure. But, he couldn't keep the smile off his face for long.

He opens his bag of chocolate, humming in anticipation as he pulled a chocolate feather from the bag. Chewing it, fully expecting the smooth sweet taste of coconut and chocolate, only to screech and spit the chocolate out. He fanned his mouth, panting as the burning spice stuck to every corner of his mouth. Why was it so spicy!?

Reaching into the bag he snapped another chocolate open, raising an eyebrow in confusion as the inside showed a fluffy white mixture. Snapping yet another chocolate, he sat back in his chair, glaring at the ceiling. Just how many of these chocolates had they filled with this red hot paste instead of the promised coconut?

Honestly…such a troublesome ward he had…

Twisted Snickers. I'm funny please laugh.

I gave and named two dogs for Crewel. They are named after types of fabric because he would honestly...

[justabirdy]

From the Feeder 5-17 to 5-23

I won't lie, I've had a rough week. Amidst multiple breaks of bad new in my life and getting sick, I've found myself in a funk. There's a chance I may not even have a job in the coming weeks or months, so the bird feeders and the livestream have been a comfort of mine and may even become more important as time progresses. 

But enough about hardship, lets look at some pretty birds and talk shop about the birdfeeder livestream. 

Our first new visitor of the week is in fact our turkey who finally decided it was worth coming all the way to the feeder.

Wild Turkey

I was also finally able to get photos of our House finches who made themselves right at home the past few days. 

House finch

Another exciting visitor that proved difficult to photograph was a Ruby-throated hummingbird that stopped by a few times just before dusk when my camera would have the most challenging time catching it.

Ruby-throated hummingbird

And finally, our surprise star visitor, at least in my book was in fact our Pileated woodpecker who decided to swoop in and make his presence known at both our suet blocks. I just happened to be lucky enough to be around and catch him both on a video clip and in photos below! I'm still stunned at how big they are. That also makes 4 species of woodpecker to visit now!

Pileated woodpecker

And of course we had some of our regulars! I'll add those to the bottom of this post. 

----------------------------

Stream Updates

Okay, we only made a few minor updates this week. Here's a rough breakdown of the improvements: 

Added a running timestamp to the stream to better help people look back through the stream to find things people may talk about in the chat. 

Moved the feeders slightly closer to the camera. This should help improve video quality while cameras are zoomed in. 

Investigated ways to lower the latency so there's not a 25 second lag between inputting a command in chat and seeing anything happen. (this frustrates me too since a bird may be gone by the time I zoom in or pull up the audio) 

The first two changes are simple quality of life, the last one is something where I want your feedback and input. The conclusion I've come to is that youtube will only allow ultra-low latency on videos that 1080p or less. If we dropped to 1080p we could have a lag of only 3-5 seconds at the expense of 4k. So which do you prefer? Less lag or 4k video. Please let me know and I'll take it into consideration.

Final Thing

One of these days when I'm not feeling sick, I'm thinking about doing a birdwatching livestream where we can all watch the bird feeders together and talk about the birds and behaviors they are showcasing. I'm by no means an expert, but I would enjoy sending a morning truly birdwatching with y'all. Let me know in a reply as well if this is of interest too

- Birdy

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Check out the Interactive Livestream Here

Support me on Ko-Fi

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White-breasted Nuthatch

Common Grackle

Indigo Bunting

Hairy Woodpecker

Red-bellied Woodpecker

Mourning Dove

Red-winged Blackbird

Baltimore Oriole

American Goldfinch

Rose-breasted grosbeak

Northern Cardinal

Blue Jay

Brown Thrasher

Black-capped Chickadee

[kierancampire]

I was putting off decorating The Forgotten Lands as I knew I wanted Jack there, but that's it, but when I got Belle and Beast, I just instantly hit with an idea and the stars aligned!

So my story behind it is this: Beast is worried he looks and is different from everyone else, and will be seen as a monster, however Jack also looks different so I felt he would connect with Jack over that. Out of all the villagers I thought Jack would be the only one entirely unfazed/not rude about Beasts appearance, he'd just think he was from Halloween Town or something, also I felt Jack also could bond with him over being different. So I knew I wanted them together!

Then here's where Belle comes in! So I thought, like with Beast, she also would see Jack for his childlike wonder and personality and not be deterred that he's a skeleton, and would want to make friends with him. But I also thought of the story of The Forgotten Lands itself, and how all the villagers, even your character previously, are scared of it and want to turn it into a nicer place but everyone just feels intimidated by it. And I thought Belle was perfect. Like she wasn't intimidated by the Beast, saw the beauty in him and wanted to make his home and appearance reflect the man inside, and I thought if anyone would see the beauty in The Forgotten Lands and would decorate it, it's Belle!

So I tried to do Belle inspired decor and how I thought Belle would decorate it, there's why there are a pile of books in the courtyard as I imagine once she realised Merlin enchanted them to not be damaged, she was a bit more careless! I placed the well by the castle cause I thought it looked nice, but also I thought if others travelled through there, Belle would want them to feel welcomed. That's also why I have the gazebo and dining set there as I like to imagine she holds tea parties with the other characters and Beast, also nearby is a bird feeder, to remind herself/Beast of the time they fed the birds in the courtyard, and to attract more birds

I tried to set out a mini Square with the clock tower to sorta call back to her French village roots, but to also have an area to be besides her castle. Then Jack I have the door and Zero's grave nearby, the car, a little pumpkin patch growing as he was very enthusiastic about pumpkin varieties with the Fairy Godmother, and a single snow covered dead tree to imply that when he arrived and opened the door to Halloween Town, a small blizzard came with him and covered the tree

I'm quite new to the game, so as and when I get the resources I want to add more lamps and benches, and more general decor, but yeah, I was so excited about my story and how it is looking so far! I just wanted to share all of that! Also, this did feel a lil cheaty, but to help make the area look less daunting and scary, I mostly stuck to red maple and the frozen twisted dead trees, with a few sinister furs dotted about. I did also, yeah, dot some lillipads in the ponds as I thought they looked cute there!

[dansnaturepictures]

10 key moments/themes of my wildlife watching and photos over the last week

Mistle Thrushes at Whitefield Moor in the New Forest

On a lovely walk there last Sunday it was nice to see a fair few of this charming bird.

A view over the type of area they were on the walk.

Jersey Tiger moth at Lakeside

Stunning moments Monday lunch time and evening at the entrance to Lakeside where I was entranced by a prominent and beautiful Jersey Tiger moth on a leaf. One of my best moth moments of the year.

The Jersey Tiger moth

Watching a patch of fleabane full of Gatekeepers and turning round to find a Wasp Spider in the grass at Lakeside

On Tuesday the wealth of Gatekeepers and other butterflies observed on my lunch time walk was a great way to start to sign off in the last week of the Big Butterfly Count in a week I saw pleasingly loads and a variety of butterflies following one of my big butterfly days of the year last Saturday, and the Wasp Spider was one of the most exciting wild moments of my year and one I had hoped for over the last couple of years.

The Wasp Spider

Seeing Pied and Spotted Flycatcher at Millyford Bridge in the New Forest

A pivotal moment in my birdwatching year yesterday, being stunned to see not only the charming Spotted Flycatchers but my first gorgeous Pied Flycatcher of the year, a stunning bird. Blissful time spent in the forest.

A record shot of the Pied Flycatcher

Hornet mimic hoverflies at Winnall Moors and Lakeside

Another insect I had hoped to see, I always seem to see something special when I'm drawn to Winnall Moors on an office working day lunch break and this was it on Thursday. Then I enjoyed seeing this prepossessing hoverfly again at Lakeside on Friday evening.

Hornet mimic hoverfly at Winnall Moors

Common Terns at Lakeside

On both Monday and Friday I was overjoyed to observe this infrequent Lakeside visitor, alongside the ever present Lesser Black-backed Gull chick and adults around here of late bringing a slice of the coast to the country park with their evocative shriek and it was a delight to watch these acrobats circle in the air and dive to fish. A real treat.

One of the pair of adult Common Terns at Lakeside on Friday.

Cormorant among the Great Crested Grebes at Lakeside

Also on Tuesday adding to what was really a crazy working week for unexpected sightings on Lakeside walks was another infrequent visitor to Lakeside especially in summer months, a pretty Cormorant. It was so nice to see it and quite surreal seeing it swim alongside the young Great Crested Grebes, I enjoyed intimate moments with them this week.

Cormorant at Lakeside

A taste of late summer into autumn

It was a nice week of contrast particularly in my plant and fungi year with one of the last flowers I'll see in bloom perhaps this year locally chicory which I liked seeing on Monday, contrasting fruit increasing with guelder rose berries, blackberries, my first hawthorn berries of the year and approaching rose hips locally. Albeit helped by the wet weather, at home and at Millyford Bridge in the New Forest yesterday a big presence of mushrooms threw me forward to autumnal times. And on the two New Forest walks it was great to observe different types of heather coming out as the landscape just puts an arm inside its late summer jacket of purple.

Whitefield Moor in the New Forest

Dragonflies at Lakeside: Seeing my first Migrant Hawker of the year and a beautiful female Common Darter

There is still much to see in my dragonfly year and also on Monday's packed lunch time walk I got my first glimpse of a Migrant Hawker this year. Another key Lakeside species gave me a strong and precious moment on Friday's evening walk with an enchanting Common Darter seen flying and landed on dock.

A variety of wildlife enjoyed at home

Finally from seeing and hearing Lesser Black-backed Gulls and Greylag Geese from home to seeing young Goldfinches a lot and a young House Sparrow being fed on the balcony feeders I've had a great week of birds at home. A Blue Tit seen a few times, lots of Starlings and an exciting moment seeing a male Sparrowhawk on next door's gate this morning were other lovely moments. As was seeing some Small White butterflies out the front, spiders, a snail out the front and Udea fulvalis and plume moths.

House Sparrow and young yesterday

[worldsfastestcrouton]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Hi Jason I'm love you.

1: I want to teach Roly how to roll over but Idk how to go about it. He's a smart little dude, but he's also Very Busy.

2: Moving kinda sucks? Like I don't mind the "being somewhere new" part of it, but all the packing and cleaning and whatever is for the birds.

3: The final dlc for my all-time favorite VN comes out on Friday and I am SO EXCITED. I've been waiting for months.

4: My biggest goldfish is at least 7 inches long now and it makes me very happy, since I got him as a feeder. I wasn't sure if he was gonna survive at all, but he's done really well! His tank mate has, too, though he's a little smaller.

5: I saw a guy playing the violin in a petsmart parking lot a little while ago. He was really really good, and I was sad that I didn't have any cash on me for him

[dzpenumbra]

15 questions 15 mutuals

Tagged by @normeda

were you named after anyone? 

Yes, my first name is my mother's brother's name, and my middle name is my mother's father's name.

when was the last time you cried? 

Yesterday, while listening to a song on stream.

do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Surely not... noo.... I mean, who does that?... PEPW

what's the first thing you notice about people?

Their body language, usually. Try to get a read of what mood they're in.

what’s your eye color?

Hazel.

scary movies or happy endings?

I used to be fanatically into scary movies, but not as much the past five years. Lately, I'm more into happy endings.

any special talents? 

I'm very adept and experienced with barefoot hiking. I'm a multi-instrument musician (guitar, bass, drums, composition) and an interdisciplinary artist. I can read tarot pretty well, I think.

where were you born? 

New Jersey, USA.

what are your hobbies? 

Video games, indoor gardening, dream analysis. I'm doing my damnedest to fuse all of my hobbies into one patchwork career.

have any pets?

Not anymore, unfortunately. I just lost both my female German Shepherd and orange tabby cat last year. I will have pets again someday, but the birds who come and visit my feeder are plenty enough animal friends for me for right now.

what sports do you play/have you played? 

I used to do a lot of sports. Basketball, soccer, ski racing, fencing. But after high school, it has been pretty much exclusively hiking, skateboarding and snowskating. Maybe a little snowboarding, if I can ever afford it.

how tall are you? 

5'8"

favorite subject in school? 

Most people would expect me to say "art"... since I fucking got a degree in it... and I love doing the work of art, don't get me wrong... But the classes I was most excited about going to were "TV Studies" in high school and Art History in college, but more so for the ancient history parts than the more modern stuff.

dream job?

I don't know, honestly it's a hard question. I try really hard to fuse any dreams I have into my whole... artist thing. I have new dream jobs every month, I swear. So, if I want to work in trail maintenance, I'm trying to design it so I can just... make that part of my job and incorporate the skills and knowledge I learn from that job into my art. Like Mike Rowe and his show Dirty Jobs, but with art. And less dirty. Still trying to figure out how to make it work, but I'll be damned if I'm giving up any time soon.

Tagging:  @0nlinejournal (If you haven’t done this:) You!

[cinnabun-faerie]

Thursday, June 2

Dearest Reader,

I haven't done these in quite a with, eh? Hello once again. I have much to say but I know not of what I should say first. I hope that you don't mind random or just me sharing some things from my life.

The weather is quite nice where I am. It's been rather sunny as of late. I suppose that's good after a week or so of rain and thunderstorms. It's good for our rather large garden. Should I tell you about it? We plant onions, tomatoes, yellow beans and many other things. I just can't remember all of the things right at this moment. But I do know that we have a strawberry & raspberry bush. I can't wait for when all of it is ready to harvest. Then we can make jams and pickles. I particularly love Lady Ashburn pickles.

To be honest, I am not one to just go outside. I'm very much like a vampire. I'd burn if I'm out in the sunlight for too long. Not too mention, I get sick due to allergies. Not the most fun. But, this year, I have definately been outside much more often. Which is rather odd. Normally I'd rather stay inside, but I guess not anymore. Oh! I want to tell you that we tend to have a few animals around. Deer tend to get into our garden more into the summers, and we feed hummingbirds who fly around excitedly when we put their feeder back up. And of course, we have squirrels that come right up onto our porch. They're quite friendly. We have a few other birds as well. They're rather cute if I may admit.

Perhaps I am thinking more of this now that I'm leaving for a new place on Monday. It'll be weird not hearing the sounds of birds chirping outside my window every morning. Or just to open up the door and lean on the porch's railing as I ask what my grandfather what project he is working on this afternoon. Perhaps I am getting a little homesick before going. But it's not like I won't be returning. I must say though, I am excited to go visit my parents and smell the salty ocean air. I haven't made a trip to stay with my parents for an extended period of time since before covid. I don't know if I'll miss my grandparents more or if they'll miss me more. I'll call them daily of course. It's just like my grandfather said, I haven't really left this house many times since the day I was born. I always feel this magnetic pull back, and honestly I don't mind. If I could have a favorite place, this would be it.

Oh! Something I remembered just now is that I was surprised to hear that my best friend is going with me on the trip. She won't be staying with me. But she's coming to see me off until I can return back home.

Anyways, I should get some work done so I can sleep. Whether it be day or night for you, I hope it is going well.

Until the morrow,

Grey

[ryuzakineedscake]

Oh my goodness! What happened with the raccoon? (I'm overly invested in your garden story! lol)

Sorry for my delay in responding. The tale of the trash panda is an exciting one.

I ended up buying a havahart trap to capture the cute lil thieves that have been munching on the garden and the compost about a month ago.

We are on the edge of the woods and often have visitors come through. Foxes, deer, coyotes and skunks have all been spotted to name a few.

The raccoons started showing up about a week ago. Lil jerks opened up ALL of the bird feeders and emptied them. They had no fear of the lights, my noise making or me. Looked me dead in the eyes and continued their destruction.

It got personal then. (A few years ago we had ducks. It was the last time I had seen a raccoon around. They killed one and took the leg off another.)

At this point, now grumpy and having flashbacks of past raccoon violence - I set my trap.

Birdseed, apples and stale cheese poofs. A trash panda feast. I stayed up past midnight, with no raccoon trapped and gave into sleep.

Woke up bright eyed, got a coffee and cig and headed outside to greet the day. I had one sip of coffee in me when I went around the corner and locked eyes with a most adorable foe.

I moved him into the shade and finished my smoke while I debated on what to do. On one hand I could have just shot him and put him out to feed the coyotes. But he looked into my soul with his guilty eyes.

So... I swallowed my pride and got my hubby to help me empty the trunk of the car. Hit my neighbor up for a huge tarp and lined the trunk with it.

I got the jerk some water and we had a one sided conversation about how I don't want to get bit or pooped on. Seemed like we were getting along well, until I went to move his cage. He was not so chill then.

I had a moment of genius strike me then. Went inside and rolled a joint. Came back out and sat on a milk crate by the prisoner.

We shared a fine smoke together and a granola bar. Nice brunch date.

Went back inside and geared up. Got my gloves, insulated pants and a junky sweatshirt. Boots instead of flip flops. Looking a hot mess - out I went.

The raccoon was taking a wee nap when I went back out. My plan worked perfectly!

Very proud of myself, I got him into the trunk and off we went. Vroom.

I wracked my mind to think of the perfect new home. The bird sanctuary sounded nice but not ideal for the birds. The abandoned farm was too close to a main road.

I hit up Dunkin Donuts, got a coffee and some munchkins. Took the long way out of town and cruised through a few towns. Out to the four wheeler trails we went!

I lugged him out of the car. Sweating and swearing we made it down into the woods. I stopped by some berry bushes and put some donuts down.

Now came the most nerve wracking part of all of this. The part I was dreading. I opened up the cage and booked away.

Very slowly he came out, no doubt pretty chill from his smoke still. I tossed a few more donuts around, got my trap back and wished him well.

[fisherfurbearer]

I would absolutely live to hear about Future Plans and heritage fruits! My partners and I are looking at buying a house by the end of the year and I'm so excited at the prospect of a back yard to fill with food plants and gardening and everything! So I'd love to know more about someone else's plans!!

mmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YOU OPENED THE CAN OF WORMS THE WORMS ARE OPEN THEY ARE EVERYWHERE NOW!!!! OHHHHHHH JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING CAN STOP THIS!!!!

MMMMMM. I LOVE. DOMESTIC CROPS AND ANIMALS. SO MUCH.

SPECIFICALLY “heritage” varieties. The pre-industrial/commercial varieties that people lived on for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years, or even the stuff younger than that, it’s just...so!! Good!!!

You didn’t QUITE ask for this but this is where I’m going with it. I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. The HISTORY of our domesticated crops (specifically fruits and vegetables, but mostly Tree Fruits!!!! But I’m also suuuuper partial to heirloom sweet potatoes/normal potatoes even though I don’t like the taste of sweet potatoes, they’re just SO FRICKING COOL and I want to learn more about other vegetables too) and animals is just....HOOOOO!!!!

Locally adapted,, perfect little....NUGGETS that just...perfectly fit their own SPECIFIC LITTLE NICHES...no matter WHERE you live, no matter HOW much space you have, no matter HOW good or bad your soil, NO MATTER WHAT, there is ALWAYS something to grow or raise, and we can thank so, so much of that to the incredible variety of heritage crops/animals (and methods of agriculture) out there. Mild, cold, hot! Lots of space, little space, no space!! Fertile, barren!! Every condition in every color and shape and flavor and size and ahhhhhhh!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Hold onto your butts because this is one Hell of a Mega Ramble okay, there is so much to talk about here, oh man.

Some background, which you can skip if you want...!!! It’s a LOT and it get’s VERY NEGATIVE but also VERY GOOD AND HOPEFUL, it’s a real big story and it’s My Story and gives a lot of insight into Why I’m Like This but it’s okay to skip for sure!! Anyway:

I’ve been researching (i.e. writing literally 1.5-2k+ words nearly every single day) for literally 7 years now about all of my various Passions and Plans in life. Obviously breaks were taken due to Sad Times but no matter what I did, no matter what happened, I’d always come back to my dumb awful stupid notes. I have notes on my current laptop, my old harddrive, my SO’s laptop, my stepdad’s laptop, my SO’s OLD gaming laptop, my old netbook, my OLD OLD netbook, every phone I’ve had in the past 7 years (which has been like uhh...five? I have bad luck with phones..) and COUNTLESS pieces of paper and cheap composition books.

To call it research, it seems to silly. Writing these words here, to you strangers on the internet, I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how VITAL these notes are to my VERY EXISTANCE.

I have been researching and writing and talking to folks and asking questions and LIVING AND BREATHING this stuff for LITERALLY, LITERALLY HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS if not ALMOST A THOUSAND OR MORE HOURS at this point!!!! If we were to actually SOMEHOW backtrack all the way to late 8th grade/freshman year when I first started dipping my toes into reptiles and fell in love with my first jumping spider that landed on my arm after I read Darren Shan’s Cirque Du Freak, after being so fascinated by the intelligent giant magic tarantula in the first book, and gathered ALL of my notes from then to NOW (I’m 21 now, if I was in college, I’d be graduating next May) it would EASILY surpass that. For YEARS in high school my family thought I was always playing games on my laptop, but really from the moment I got home to the moment I went to bed, I was watching lets plays with one side of the screen and reading, reading, reading, and writing, writing, writing with the other. For HOURS. Every. Single. Day.

Hell, this has been my most recent “Renaissance” of writing, after The Big Realization of earlier this year (I’ll get to that), and this is AFTER I went on a horrible depressed/manic rampage and deleted like 80% of my notes (that would have been from...hmm. This is what I didn’t delete, what Jessie recovered, and what I’ve added...so March to Early September, when Jessie switched my notes to a new program (I lost a lot of notes from lack of autosaving so now they’re on our nextcloud so I can’t lose them...but I’m too stubborn to use it still) and this is still like. A lot.

Keep in mind the average 10-11 kb file is 1500-1700 words for me. My biggest files (only of the ones I still have, on this laptop) are 40-60 kb. (Also these are Big Secrets that I don’t ever show anyone but Jessie, who I’ve been with now for almost 7 years, so this is pretty dang important to me and a big thing to be revealing.)

Current folder I’m usually saving to:

Nextcloud I don’t bother to use usually but probably should use:

Again, this is ONLY on my newest laptop, and this DOESN’T include the files I deleted a few months ago, nor the files I lost from February-early April after Jessie updated my computer and wiped my files, and I still have a BUTTLOAD left on my old harddrive from last year, but we never moved it up and I don’t feel a need to. (I’ve learned so much. So. Much. In the past year. I think I’ve matured a lot and really become more...Me. But I’ll get to that.)

Also doesn’t include the SEVERAL notebooks I’ve filled front to back this year (cheap $0.50 ones from work...I’ve blown through a couple biggish ones and I think 2-3 little quarter-size memo books) and all the receipt papers I have crammed into my work uniform...

But anyway why is this important? It really helps iron in just how HUGE this is to me. My future “Plans” aren’t just...it’s really important to me. Okay? I am but a humble stranger on the internet and my life and everyone elses’ respective lives are infinitely more complex than we can ever dare imagine one anothers’ existences to be, but just trust me when I say that I’m not pulling this from nowhere, this shit isn’t some sort of “fad” to me, this has been a long, long series of events and realizations and heartbreaks and so, so much pain that have finally led to everything kinda falling into place sometime this year where it hit me.

You see...all of my research topics followed a pattern. It went, in my rough memory, something like this.

It started with reptiles. Lots of reptiles. So many reptiles. I was so naive and young then and my sources sucked and I was very much a novice who dreamed of owning all sorts of cool reptiles when I got older, and of getting a gecko when I went to college. That was how it started and it went downhill from there. I branched off into gardening (I wanted and still want a blue tongue skink and had thoughts about how I’d grow a garden for vegetables and squashes and stuff for the skink and feeder insects) and THAT grew into this whole THING about raised bed gardening, square foot gardening, then into permaculture, which planted the seed for many things to come...and now I’ve ALWAYS LOVED BIRDS,, but when I learned that keeping CHICKENS was a thing (thank you Jennifer (Nambroth)!!!!!!!!!! Our emails back and forth are still saved forever, our talks about chickens changed my life and way of thinking Forever!!!) and I researched that, then I’d jump back to reptiles again, and back to chickens, then more reptiles, then chickens and QUAIL, or OTHER poultry,, and so on and so on. This beautiful fluid branching path that would always rebound on itself and I’d drop some topics, gain new ones, revisit old ones, learn what I liked, what I didn’t like, what were brief interests, and what were there to stay.

Some topics (chickens, new caledonian geckos, antaresia pythons, tarantulas, gardening...) would always come back. No matter what I did...they came back. As I grew as a person, I started to figure out what was important to me (CONSERVATION, animal welfare, reptile/invertebrate enrichment, vivarium design, combining art with animals, and did I mention CONSERVATION? and combating climate change/The World but that came later.) and while some of those points didn’t show up in my research until later...like my obsession with native wildlife/plants and domestic species...it never went away.

And as I grew older, outside of my research life went on, and I really went through A Lot in these seven years. Undiagnosed anxiety/depression all through high school, practically living in the guidance office junior/senior year, dealing with an emotionally abusive and animal abuser teacher for many years, living with my emotionally abusive/narcissistic mother, and eventually going to an amazing art college and having both the best and worst time of my life (Hahah!! Almost straight As and skipped a writing class with my amazing scores and was top of my class, Dean’s list first semester, in the Visionary Women’s Honors society, worked in the admissions office and did lots of cool things, but hahaha also really wanted to die and was Destroying Myself) and trying to get help while keeping it a secret from my mom...lo and behold of course she eventually found out about the Depression when I had to go inpatient near the end of my second semester, and she. HA, I can’t even cry about this anymore. She literally disowned me (took all my money, sold my car, cut me off of health insurance, made me pay my own hospital bills, refused to do my FAFSA for college anymore, dropped all support, and later when I had to come home because I relapsed again and the college made me go on a medical leave of absense, she threatened to kick me out and call the police [hilariously enough though the house was owned by my stepdad, not her, so she couldn’t do anything. Also I never did anything to her and she was just crazy and made up excuses. But yeah not fun trying to walk to work and being threatened over the phone that she was going to have me dragged out of work by the cops and not to come home, hahaha!!!!!! But then also when I did live with my neighbor for a few days she was apparently so distraught?? Haha what a weird person!!!! I haven’t seen her for three years now and it’s been the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t mourn for me, it’s SO Much better now. Speaking of, she was a PETA-hugging ARA nutjob and if she knew what I was planning on doing she would’ve disowned me either way!!!!!!), and of course fighting to be able to move out and rent an apartment with my SO (I hate the word boyfriend. It’s been 7 years come January 11th, and we’ve been through so fucking much. And she [my mom...] and other people always made fun of him being my BOYFRIEND that that word is tainted for me...so Significant Other it is) and then being forced to live alone there for a couple months,, and then even after that, the fights with his family, the car accident in November, my mom ruining all chances of me going to college (keep in mind I had after leaving college, spent the next TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE trying to make it so I COULD go back, spent all of my time, energy, hope, eVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING trying to do so,,, and she manipulated me and then lied to me and made it so I couldn’t), my rebounding depression, my Intensifying Aggression (terrifying. Developed when I was in college...I guess it’s some kind of rapid bipolar disorder, maybe triggered by me going on antidepressants in college, they said. But it was so long ago and they never knew the full story for a proper diagnosis anyway. But it’s gotten manageable and We’re Coping), the housefire on Christmas, moving Once Again to the new place and being told I can’t bring my 15 year old cat (he’s with my stepdad still now but it’s not okay.), the rats have to be in the basement, and oh yeah if you want to attend college again loans will be nearly 13% interest hahaha!!! and then finally just straight up breaking down in February and not leaving bed for DAYS and nearly committing suicide, just the real worst time ever, and my former therapist/psychiatrist place weren’t responding (turns out they discharged me!! haha kinda hard to make appointments WHEN YOU DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE and we DIDN’T GET THE NOTICE IN THE MAIL because our HOUSE WAS CONDEMNED and my mail was being sent to my STEPDADS an hour away!!!!!!!! Also really hard to talk to you when you BLOCK OUR FUCKING NUMBER and HANG UP ever time we fucking call haha!!!!!! Literally on the verge of suicide and not on my anxiety meds for MONTHS but hey sure that works too guys!!!!) which really didn’t help, and yeah it was really just the pits! Just the absolute pits, the Very Worst.

Now at this point I don’t remember exactly when/what changed, but SOMETHING did.

Leading up to February, I wanna say it was about October that I started getting kinda weirdly depressed, and I started REALLY tanking after the fire. After the fire, I had to move back to my stepdads within the night, and had to live without Jessie again and commute really far and keep the tarantulas a secret and in general be very alone and very sad. I started wearing down and it was getting so hard to just...enjoy. Anything. Even just taking care of the pets became difficult, and doing art or researching was impossible. I just...didn’t care anymore. I stopped caring.

On top of that, my climate grief and general feelings of Despair were at an all time high, and I just didn’t. Fucking. CARE. What happened next.

I spent YEARS of my life WEARING MYSELF TO THE BONE trying to get into college, the get back into college, to just try to do this thing that I was supposed to do, my ONE hope of having a career and a future that I probably wouldn’t even be happy with (I was an illustration major. I liked drawing. It’s what I was best at. But looking back, I wouldn’t have been happy doing it for a living. And Moore [no that’s not what my blog is named for, it just also happens to be my last name] was a great college but it just...wasn’t worth $30k a year with no cosigner for loans, even AFTER my scholarships) and my body and mind were wearing down and no matter what I did I didn’t care about myself, my animals, my partner, my life, nothing. I can’t explain how terrifying that is. Of all the time in my life, I think this was the worst. On top of my life problems, it must be said again that my climate grief and Misery regarding the state of our country and the world was also at an all-time-high, and I just felt...POWERLESS. Powerless and empty and uncaring and dead inside. I really wanted to just...drive off a bridge or eat a ton of pills (which I did do a couple times, don’t do that. Please. It’s NOT worth it.) and just stop Existing.

But then something just...changed.

I don’t know what it was, exactly. But I got SOMETHING back. SOMETHING “clicked”.

I’m crying a bit now. It’s so stupid to say, but I truly believe this is what saved my life. Realizing my purpose in life. That everything fell into place and finally made sense.

I’m going to be a bit more concise here but...basically...many of my passions and smaller aspects of myself all fell into place, so PERFECTLY.

It hit me that...ah jeez.

I will digress one more second. For those of you who don’t know, I have two Eurydactylodes geckos, named Vladimir (E. vieiliardi) and Estragon (E. agricolae). They are named for my favorite drama that we read in AP English, Waiting for Godot. It’s an aburdist theater play about two men who wait under a tree for someone (we don’t know who, just that his name is Godot) and that’s about it. Everyone had a lot of different things to say about that weird little book, but my take on it was that it’s supposed to be what happens to two men when they lack a “purpose” in life. Existentialism, and all that. They sit there and sit there and completely lose themselves just WAITING for this guy that they don’t even remember, they don’t even know why they’re there, and they do nothing to try and change that. The difference between existentialism and absurdism, however, is that absurdism specifically discusses this idea of a Chaotic Universe, this Lack of Meaning, this pointless quest of humanity to seek value and meaning in a universe without reason. It’s a fruitless effort, it’s Absurd! But the beauty of absurdism, this tiny idea that stayed with me in the goofy names of my geckos (I chose the names because I thought the play was amusing and I loved the characters’ relationship, which is Quite Gay and so Loving and Charming it warms my heart, and I loved that they called each other “Didi” and “Gogo”) and really held true to my own life. I DO NOT believe that THIS is why this change happened for me, but it’s ironic, no?

Back to Absurdism, Absurdism says... “here is this meaningless, Chaotic, RIDICULOUS universe. There is NO reason for ANYTHING, there NEVER will be, you DO NOT MATTER, you DO NOT HAVE A PLACE HERE. There is NO POINT to anything. So fuck it, and try to find one anyway.”

My original therapist did not understand why I found this so wonderful and inspiring. It’s so rebellious and selfish, I LOVE IT. To embrace the Absurd is to take the bull by the horns and flip it upside down! It’s to stare all of this dreadful pointlessness in the Void, and when it says “Why bother? Why care about these insignificant invertebrates? These ridiculous reptiles? These ABSURD apples???” and flip the bird both hands and say “BECAUSE I WANT TO, BECAUSE I SAID SO, BECAUSE I AM HUMAN, AND I CAN!!!” It’s...also more than that, it’s this long, defiant lifelong journey, this stupid, ridiculous journey of fumbling about trying to find one’s place in a cruel, vast world, and finding oneself in that journey.

I love people. I love the ABSURDITY of humanity, of people, of myself, of others. A Huge part of my Future Plans has to do with People, and Community, and Changing my little patch of the world. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but I know it can make a difference to someone and myself and that’s what matters.

Anyway back to the Clickening.

Around that time I had a moment like that. It was as if something in my mind was screaming at me, listen. You are here, and you have always been here to love animals, to love life, to make art, to tell stories with your art, to raise little sheeps.

And like that, it started Something.

I agreed to go to a local doctor, and was put on antidepressants. I’ve been on them since late February. I also got accommodations for work, so I have two excused absenses due to mental illness each month, which was good, because they tried to fire me 4 times now and they haven’t succeeded yet. (I’m DAMN GOOD at what I do, I’m just Sad and Unlucky and Dumb, but I’m doing a lot better now!!) I started taking all of the things I learned in the past many years and what I’ve learned about myself as a person (I won’t talk about it here but I’ve always struggled with my Identity [not gender wise, just...with my mental health and my mood disorder, it’s really hard to know What is ME and What’s The Illness) and it all started falling into place. My needle felting, my love for animals, conserving native wildlife AND heritage breeds with restoration grazing and positive impact forestry, utilizing my Overwhelming Charisma (in person I swear I’m quite a good talker! Way better than my typing here!) for education, outreach, and farmers market sales, my love for life and my fellow human beings and my plans to work hard to help feed my local communities and encourage sustainable agriculture and the dismantlemant of capitalism Love of our native wilds and backyards alike (I also have Big Thoughts about getting native peoples input as well, but I need to research that more and actually talk to people, but that would be in future years!!), and so, so many things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That started in late February/early March now, and since then I’ve still had Really bad times, but I’d say in the past mmmmm...probably since late July? I think yeah since about then things have really taken great turns. I’ve Matured a lot, really embraced who I am and what I want to do, and while I KNOW my plans are going to keep changing over time (tentative goal is to look for/buy our property in 2025!! That gives us 5 years post-graduation to settle down and see how things go, where Jessie will be working, where we’ll be living, how my mind changes, all of that!!) but I KNOW in my BONES in my SOUL that this is what I have always been meant to do. To raise things, grow things, and to Care.

ANYWAY WOW HAHAHA YOU SURE DIDN’T ASK FOR ALL THAT BUT THERE YA GO THERE’S THE BACKSTORY, THE FIRST HALF OF THE WORMS!!!!!!

TL;DR: I’m a sad sap who is now slightly less sad and has Big Plans that were 7 years+ in the making and I want to take all my Big Thoughts about exotic welfare (well, reptiles and spiders mostly, but sure) and also apply it to DOMESTIC welfare and Make a Dang Difference!!!!

Okay now I’ve become very burnt out, I’ve been writing for like two hours now? So this part will sadly be shorter, but I will definitely write more about it again if you or anyone else has questions or actually wants to hear about it.

Basically...the amount of These Plans that I am willing to let you folks know, is uhh...oh jeez where do I even begin, haha...

Well it started small plans (early years of research, when I used to think a small greenhouse was Super Wild and Crazy) but nah bruh we goin’ full hog, literally. My plans are to get a decent sized property, still in my state, and have a HUGE focus on Sustainability and Positive Grazing/Management! That means rotational grazing to IMPROVE soils!!! Thinning the woodlot and clearing brush for the HEALTH of the forest!!! Reintroducing blight-resistant american chestnuts to restore our forests and support a healthy wildlife population!!!! Using both honeybees AND cultivated native bees [did you know that’s a thing???? You can buy native bee cocoons, like raised humanely, and raise them for pollinating plants!! Like Orchards!!] and grazing pastured pigs and chickens under orchard trees, while also providing BUTTLOADS of native flowers and domestic tree blossoms for native pollinators!! All that great stuff.

My biggest focuses would be raising practical heritage livestock for sustainable agriculture and conserving heritage fruit trees, with a focus on apples and pears. I also want to grow a lot of mutually beneficial/low-impact perennial resources...think honey, maple syrup, nut trees, stuff like that! And I want to graze on pastures with native grasses and locality-specific wildflowers (check out Ernst Seeds, especially if you live in/near PA like I do!! Wow it’s so frickin’ cool) and focus on northern european short-tailed sheep (finnsheep, gotland, icelandic, leader, shetland, and soay) and small landrace American hogs (american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and the more recent but so full of potential idaho pasture pig. I also want to raise icelandic landrace chickens for utility (parasite/pest management, composting), conservation, and eggs. I also want to raise rabbits (silver fox crosses for meat, and french angora crosses for fiber! I have a dream of producing high quality tri color angora for spinners...three colors on one animal, and I want them to be especially great for fiber artists who want to raise their own fiber animals but don’t have a ton of space) and I have BIG orchard plans...SO MANY ORCHARD PLANS, HHHHHOOO YES....SO GOOD...also COPPICE WITH STANDARDS and FORESTRY and HOO YES!!!!! I LOVE SOME GOOD OL FORESTRY!!!

I think the best way to describe my current plans standings is that it seperates into a couple different “zones”, for my Current Ideas. This has taken months and so many countless hours of thinking, researching, and ironing out, and I’ve made so much headway in just this past week, but basically imagine this...

It’s mostly split into two pastures, the orchard, and the woodlot.

PASTURE 1

Pasture 1 would be the largest, where we would rotationally graze two primary groups of ruminants. Polled NES-T sheep (finnsheep/gotland) and horned sheep (icelandic/leader) with dairy cows (dutch belted) as well. Dutch belted for milk and specifically cheese production, and they would be grazed in front with the icelandics to help take care of the taller grasses that the sheep would avoid, and help keep the sheep a bit safer. All would be guarded by livestock guardian dogs. Group #1 of the icelandic chickens would be grazed behind them, to help break up manure and disrupt parasite cycles.

Pasture itself would be mostly a big bluestem/little bluestem/indian grass/switchgrass mix, with a good variety of livestock-safe wildflowers (small portion being nitrogen-fixers like tick trefoils and pasture pea) and seed-producing flowers for birds (wild birds and our birds!). Would be rotationally grazed 1-2 days at a time (avg. 3-4 days total) with a 21-35+ day rest period. Polled NES-T sheep would be moved to “silvopasture” (copse with standards, a portion of the woodlot, with coppiced trees for fuelwood/timber interspersed with standard-sized mast producting trees [would double as nut and persimmon orchard, and hog foraging in fall/winter!!!]) in the summer to help them deal with the heat. Summer would be the best time, as it’s after the spring predator pressure and before the acorns fall, which could be bad for them if they ingest too many. Rams and hogs would otherwise graze this land with much longer rest periods otherwise (more like 30-45 days or so).

PASTURE 2

Smaller pasture with similar planting, arranged ‘paddock paradise’ style for a small group of icelandic horses (SO GOOD, and useful!! Little horse hooves are much kinder to the forest than a UTV, and herding on horseback is less stressful for the livestock) and rotationally grazed shetland and soay sheep. Pretty simple, but important. Would also contain Icelandic chicken group #2.

ORCHARD

Worthy of a novel all on it’s own. I want to grow semi-dwarf heritage fruit trees with the fruit drop type synced to the rotation of pastured hogs (idaho pasture pig, american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and group #3 of icelandic chickens. Hogs would be in orchard spring-fall, and in the copse with standards fall-early winter. Hogs and chickens would be moved to a holding area during rainy times to help preserve the orchard floor and during winter, where we would also have a large waste management/composting set up for them to root and turn to their hearts content. Should be a lot warmer than the outside in the winter too, and I plan on it being in a high tunnel/hoop house so its covered.

I am ALL ABOUT pairing livestock with crops and encouraging multi-purpose acreage in general, so this is definitely one of my FAVORITE plans so far, and every time I revisit it, it gets better. I also want to raise BEES (honeybees, mason bees, leafcutter bees!!!) for honey and pollination. I also want to plant BUTT-TONS of native flowers and goodies for pollinators, as well as lots of seed producing plants and sunflowers for the chickens to forage for by themselves. These would be some happy livestock, for sure.

WOODLOT

Another huge part of the plan is that I want at LEAST 1/3-1/2 of the property to be Woods. Only a small fraction of the Woods would be managed for livestock foraging and more frequent harvesting (still looking at a good 7-10 year coppice cycle though for trees) and the rest would still be tended to, with the help of the local forestry folks, but it would be preserved for wildlife and low-impact timber and nut/fruit/sap collection.

The VAST MAJORITY of the farm would be multi-purpose acreage for both livestock AND wildlife benefit (and people too of course) and I truly, truly believe and KNOW it can be done. In fact it HAS been done, IS being done, in so many different ways by so many different people in different times, and I know that I want to be a part of it and I can make a difference and use my weird passions for Good and make a dang difference.

Ohhh jeez I’m real sorry I didn’t quite answer your question though but I hope this gives a little insight into what I mean?? And if anyone has Specific questions after reading this (if you make it to the bottom, bless your cotton socks, I’m so proud and also distressed) I can definitely answer them a bit better than this. And hopefully much less...whatever this is, haha!!

[sussex-nature-lover]

Monday 19th April 2021

New Homes, New Lives (We Hope)

On our walks this past week I've been collecting little bits of sheep wool and some feathers. I brought the treasures home and dotted them around the feeding area. Yesterday I was confused as to what Goldfinch were up to fluttering at the very top of the kitchen patio doors trying to 'hover' there. In the end it turned out they were collecting thick spider web, so we know what that means <squeal>

The Goldfinch have been coming hourly and are really gaining in confidence. I'm sure their nest is very close (I have an inkling but am waiting to see if I'm right and if it thrives) So far, in as much as it's possible to tell, I think we have the pair above and a further, younger looking female as well, all on a regular basis. This bird has more buff on her face. It's absolutely fantastic how they've taken to the garden at last.

They're using both of the Niger feeders and also drinking from the birdbath and the lower level brown bowl.

One of my feather and moss arrangements was just the ticket for a Blue Tit.

The feather was downy and soft but the little bird seemed to have a bit of a struggle in the breeze. Most of it was taken away, but there's still a bit left for next time.

Elsewhere I can confirm the side blue box has been occupied by Great Tit who lost out last year and I'm just watching a pair of Coal Tit, who usually visit alone.

There are plenty of both male and female Blackbird, Wood Pigeon and Stock Doves and it's been very sweet to see Dunnock and Nuthatch as pairs at the feeders in the hedges and trees by the bedroom window. They're both birds which usually seem quite solitary and serious, so it's made me smile to see them coupling up.

We've also still got two pairs of Robin at least and so far, so good, no big battles. We haven't seen the male Greenfinch around, although the female seems to have been here a lot, as have the pair of Chaffinch.

It's such an exciting time and I'll certainly keep an updated log of how they all get on.

QUIZ ANSWERS:

If you missed the update at the end of the last blog, here's the LINK again.

[justabirdy]

From the Feeder 5/10 - 5/16

It's been a busy week for both me and the birds. While I've been at work, the spring migration has been well underway. With that means some of our regular visitors have largely moved on while other new visitors are coming around. 

One of this week's newest visitors that I was able to photograph was a Brown Thrasher. This is a bird I've never seen before, so it was an exciting visit for me at least!

Brown Thrasher

Of course we had other new visitors to the feeder, finally had a House Finch, though I wasn't able to photograph it before it flew away. We also had a wild turkey stop by on its trot over to the woods past my house. That I actually caught on film! Maybe next time it will come all the way up to the feeder or birdbath itself. 

And of course we had some of our regulars! I'll add those to the bottom of this post. 

It's hard to imagine it has only been 3 weeks since starting this project. It's already come a long way and I've really enjoyed spending the time putting it all together and making things work. We've even managed to maker the stream interactive, allowing people to zoom in or even pull up audio ID features which is still amazing to me!

Where we started: 4/23/24

Where we are now: 5/16/24

I'm thrilled to keep working on this project and I'm hoping to keep developing improvements and creative ideas in the coming weeks and months. Even though I only have a small following, I'm still thrilled you are all here, and I hope you will stick around to watch, learn, and maybe even support this project financially or just by sharing your own ideas. Someone recently called this "Twitch Plays Birdwatching" and you know what, I'm here for it, lets watch birds together and lets make it fun to do!

- Birdy

White-breasted Nuthatch

Common Grackle

American Crow

White-crowned Sparrow

Downy Woodpecker

Red-bellied Woodpecker

Indigo Bunting

Red-winged Blackbird

Baltimore Oriole

American Goldfinch

Northern Cardinal