#and I'm like. okay king! go do something else I guess. idk

[abandonyourgawds]

.

[sskk-manifesto]

Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

[dreamingofaizawa]

Violent Tendencies - Two Step

Sheriff! John Price x AFAB! Fem! Reader

~Small Town AU~ (John's POV)

Warnings: General violence, murder, allusions and references to said murder, descriptions of blood and injuries, you and John being sick in love, hapy ending (for now), fluff, mild hurt/comfort

Word Count: 4.3k

Author's Note: I was feeling soft after the last one ;-; IDK man I'm a sucker I guess. Am I obsessed with this man? Maybe. Is that a crime? NO! Don't come at me I love him.

Series Masterlist

Part One Here - Part Ten Here

Enjoy~

***

It was easy putting that particular bullet in that particular scum of the earth’s head. You didn’t need him to do it. He knows for a fact that if he’d actually grabbed you from that ditch, you’d have caved his skull in beneath your boot then shot him yourself just to make sure he stayed dead. No, you didn’t need him to kill the creep, but he did it anyway. It was reflexive, really. He reached for you and John hadn’t realized he pulled the trigger until the man was long dead.

He’s killed before. It’s not something he does often, it’s far from habitual and it’s rare enough it wouldn’t be considered serial. But the fact still remains; he’s no stranger. The first body he buried had been collateral. It left him awake for weeks, ate away at his conscience and made him go mad with anxiety. It’s the only true panic attack he’d ever had.

This man? This man he was happy to dispose of. Nobody threatens your safety scot-free. You’d gotten your return on Graves. John got his return on this cretin.

It occurs to him you also got your return on the other cretin. The one that actually threatened the two of you in that voicemail he’d sent. When Celeste stared at you with unbridled fear, he could only imagine what she was thinking. But he knew what you were thinking, that’s for damn sure. The way your entire body coiled tight, like a king cobra waiting to strike, told him everything without him even having to glance at your face. But he did anyway, and oh the red. That beautiful, deep crimson he loves so much, curling in the air around you in a fog. Your eyes crystal clear, tinted vermillion with the fury that took over. Your jaw was clenched so tight he worried for your poor teeth. If you weren’t wound so tight you might have been trembling with the surge of adrenaline you seem to always get from the rage. 

You were thinking that these creeps are going to die for threatening the safety of not only your closest friend, but the man you love. He knows you love him. You’ve said as much, and he knows you’re no liar. There’s not a singular doubt in his mind you love him just as much as he loves you. It’s a give and take; he gives all of his love, and he takes yours. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for each other.

That’s been proven well enough. You’ve killed for each other. 

Celeste sleeps well for the first night in weeks, once everything is out in the open. She’s sworn to secrecy, just as the rest of you are. He can tell by the look in her eye that she’s going to feel like she owes her life to the two of you. She doesn’t, but he’s sure she’ll feel like it. Cleaning up is a quick, quiet process. A hot shower, scrubbing the dirt and grime and the events from your skin, then leaping into bed for some much needed rest. But he needs to pick your brain a bit, after a night like this.

“Are you really okay?” Your eyes sparkle like jewels when you look up at him, and he knows you aren’t lying when you tell him you’re happy. 

“Like I said to Celeste. I’m a killer, not a liar.” He doesn’t quite know why calling yourself a killer makes his skin burn. 

“You’re no killer, Tempest.” Your hands are warm when they come up to hold his face, his cheeks feeling the flame light beneath your touch. You smile like he’s said something funny. Maybe he has.

“Yes I am, John. I killed a man tonight. Makes me a killer, just like anyone else. I’m not mad about it. Not happy about it either. I’m just happy we can finally get some peace.” He can tell. Maybe you’re seeing things differently than he is. Maybe he’s trying to placate you the way he wished someone had for him, with his first kill. It was accidental, but it still fucked him up. It took him a long time to come to terms with it. 

“So how do you feel about it?” He wants to know. He’s not afraid of you, he never could be. It’s curiosity more than anything else. He wants to be in your head, thinking what you think.

“Somewhere between relieved and confused. They’re finally gone, and they can’t bother Celeste or me or any other woman ever again. They sure as shit can’t come after you either. But what did it take to finally get to that point? It’s insane how twisted people’s minds are, if death is the only thing that’s keeping them from inflicting that kind of sick delusion on the world.” His own big paws find your hands where they’d drifted to his chest, threading his fingers between yours to hold you tight.

“Some people are beyond help, Tempest.” You nod, solemn.

“I know. I don’t like it, but I know. I just hate that it had to get this far this fast.” He nods, mirroring you. He knows what you mean. Neither of you are saints. No, you’re killers, there’s no denying that. It’s a fucked up world that you of all people have been forced into the role of judge, jury, and executioner for a problem that ideally shouldn’t even exist in the first place. He thinks you don’t deserve that kind of pressure, that kind of weight on your shoulders. Maybe neither of you do, but he’d much rather heave it all by himself. 

Too late for that now. You’re in the thick of it.

But you take it well, it seems. Your resolve is strong, your will the same. You’re handling it a hell of a lot better than Celeste would. Better than he did. How heavily the deaths will weigh on your conscience he’ll probably never truly know, but from where he can see it, you’ve made your peace already. Strong woman you are. 

But he knew that already, didn’t he? He knew from the very moment you socked him in the nose and had him bleeding all over the courtyard you were the strongest woman he’d ever know. You, with your iron will and sense of justice. You, who made sure anybody that fucked with you or your roomie got the bad end of your fists. You, who left well alone if you were left well alone, keeping to yourself until someone decided to fuck up your day. You’re a protector. A defender. He knew it within the first 24 hours of meeting you, when you’d refused to hit him unless provoked. No matter what everyone else sees, he knows you. The violence, the rage, it’s out of a desperate need to protect. To protect yourself, to protect others, to protect the people you love. It’s become increasingly obvious now that you have people to protect, instead of just yourself. From what you told him, you spent most of your childhood alone. He can only imagine it was because of your temper, all the other parents telling their children to steer clear of the little pipe bomb with a short fuse. He’s sure they listened once they’d all known what you were capable of. And he’s sure they knew. In a town this small, news spreads like wildfire in dead grassland. 

Even being as strong as you are, he expects you to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and sweating, but you don’t. No nightmares, no detailed memories of gore and blood, no immense crippling guilt of your own actions. Nothing like his first. 

He does notice the way you cling more. 

In the weeks after Celeste returns to her own home, you’re glued to him in every moment you can find. More than you used to, you’re holding his hand, wrapping your arms around his middle, pressing kisses to anywhere you can reach. You’ve held his face in your hands to look him in the eyes every day before leaving for work, the same on weekends before you fall asleep together. You’ll hold one of his big paws in both of yours, lacing your fingers between his and wrapping your other hand tight around his wrist. When you find the time to eat meals together you’re stuck to his side more than usual, your shoulder tucked against his ribs with his big arm around your waist. Your head stays on his shoulder whenever you’re not actively putting food in your mouth, and your foot hooks around his ankle. 

Even when he finds his way to the diner every few nights, you’ll stick yourself to his side while you work, holding his hand over the counter while you’re doing something mundane like taking inventory or checking the next shipment. Your eyes don’t leave him, either. He can feel you looking when he slips away to use the bathroom, feels your eyes on his back while he brushes his teeth, catches your gaze when he looks at you in the diner. You’ll be scrubbing the deck and still have an eye on him, constantly looking to make sure he’s still there. It’s like you’re afraid he’s going to disappear if you’re not there to hold him, to see him, to feel him. There are moments at home when you’ll stop whatever you’re doing just to lay your ear over his chest, listening to his heart thump steady and strong. 

Something’s bothering you.

“Tell me what’s wrong, baby.” It’s another one of those nights where you can’t separate without a flash of panic and fear crossing your face. He’s worried about you. You can’t look him in the eyes when you tell him you’re fine. “You’re an awful liar, Tempest.” It’s ‘cause you’re not a liar, not normally.

“Damn you. Perceptive asshole.” It makes him laugh, his chest bouncing beneath your head where you’re listening to his heartbeat again. 

“Can’t lie to me, love. I know you too well.” You hum, and he waits. You’ll tell him, he knows you will. He was hoping he didn’t have to ask, but it’s been made clear over the last month that whatever’s going on in that pretty head of yours is going to stay there if he doesn’t pry a little. You probably think it’s stupid, but it’s clearly not if it’s affecting you like this. He doesn’t want you carrying whatever this is alone. He can feel the way your throat bobs as you swallow, and when you look up at him there are tears in your eyes, crystalline and sparkling as your jaw trembles. Damn it all, you still look so pretty when you cry.

“I’ve been running around in circles, John. I’ve been so scared.” Your tears are hot beneath his thumb when he drags them away, smears them over your cheeks only for more to take their place. 

“Scared of what? There’s nothing to be scared of, lovie.” 

“Scared that you’re gonna leave me.” It’s so quiet he almost misses it. There’s a vulnerability in your eyes he’s never seen before. It shocks him to his core.

“Now why would I do that?” You shake your head then, correcting something you’d said.

“No, I don’t mean like you’ll break up with me. For a second, maybe it crossed my mind, but that was ages ago.” You’re clawing at him like he’ll vanish beneath your fingertips.

“Then what is it?” He can see your chest shuddering as you try to breathe, panic and fear trying to make root in your head. 

“I’ve been having nightmares.” You have? You haven’t shown it, that’s for damn sure. When he wakes up with you, you seem just the same as always. “Where I’ll wake up and reach over to feel you, but you’re cold and stiff and…gone.” 

Oh.

Oh.

Suddenly, everything makes too much sense. The clinging, the closing of physical distance, the constant reassurance that his heart is still beating beneath his skin. The way you’ll wake up and immediately wrap around him, and now that he really thinks about it, your fingers have lingered on his pulse points lately. When you hold his face he realizes you’d let your pinky press beneath his jaw, and holding his hand you’ll press into the soft flesh of his wrist, massaging the tendons there. He didn’t think anything of it then, but now?

“C’mere baby.” You sob when he tugs you over him, your chest on his and your legs wrapping around his hips just to feel him. You’ve been dealing with this fear for weeks all on your own. He doesn’t think you even told Celeste, maybe she’d have urged you to tell him sooner and avoided the breakdown. “Where’s this all coming from, huh?”

“I’m not sure. After everything, it occurred to me that the only thing that can separate us is death and it scared me so bad. Your life has been threatened twice, John. Twice, by maniacs who’d do it in a heartbeat just because we’re in their way.” These bastards are still bothering you, after everything.

“They’re in your head, Tempest. Nothing’s gonna happen to me baby, not when I’ve got you. What happened the last time someone threatened me, huh?” Your sigh is heavy.

“Yeah, I know.” You should know. You’re the very one that put him six feet under. When he cups your chin he revels in the way you just let him, let him guide your head and look him in the eyes. 

“He’s dead. He can’t touch me, can’t touch you.” He can feel you melt into him when he kisses you, feels your body lax and mold to his. You’ve probably been reminding yourself of the same thing he’d just said, that the creep is dead and is no longer a threat. He hopes maybe telling you himself helps more than just hearing it in your head. He hopes that the trust between you is strong enough to help. After everything that’s happened, after everything the two of you have done, it’s all worth it when you can rip your heart from your chest and hand it to him on a platter of gold. And your eyes. He could drown in them forever, he’s sure. There’s so much he’s seen in them in the short time he’s been able to actually look. The rage and anger are the first he ever saw, but there are layers he’s peeling back. It’s different when you’re defending yourself; wild, vicious, explosive. When you’re defending a friend, it’s cold, calculated, sharp and callous. 

When you’re protecting someone you love?

It’s catastrophic. He’d seen it firsthand when he and Simon rushed to the diner to keep Graves from getting to you. He was prepared for the worst, ready to kill the bastard, because surely he wouldn’t underestimate you a second time. Graves isn’t small, either. If he wanted to– and he’s sure he did– he could overpower you in a wrestling match or a fistfight. He was ready to rush you to the hospital, his heart already sinking at the thought. But none of that happened. 

Instead, Simon had to use his brute strength to tear you from a bloodied, mangled body he couldn’t even recognize. If he didn’t already know who it was, he wouldn’t have been able to tell it was him. And you were ravenous. Blood splattered over your face and clothes and arms, eyes wild and focused only on the pulp on the ground. You were thrashing so hard Simon of all fucking people was being dragged around on his feet while you were hauled up in the air, screaming bloody murder. He only got you to focus when he blocked Graves from your line of sight, putting his body in the way like a shield. The look of relief on your face was so broken, and you fell so limp in his arms trying to gather the scattered pieces of your mind. Part of his heart broke for you, seeing the fear having taken over so thoroughly. Your fear likes to latch onto the rage, likes to grab it and twist it into something sharp and unforgiving. Your sadness is much the same, curls around the rage and fear and it’s hard to separate them all from each other when you react to all your negative emotions with the same volatile habits. 

He didn’t understand why you’d clung to him so tight until later, in the hospital parking lot, when you’d given them a play-by-play.

Through all that rage, he gets to see the love. The care. You care so deeply it’s a wonder you’re so violent. The way you’ve cared for Celeste is a dead giveaway for your deep-running empathy. You’d offered the spare room to her in a fraction of a second, didn’t even have to think about the decision because it meant you could guarantee she was somewhere her stalker wouldn’t know to look yet. And you care for his boys. You bring them food whenever you’re missing their company. Simon’s sandwiches always get extra crispy bacon, just the way he likes it because you know you’re the only one who can make it that way. Johnny’s sandwiches are always devoid of tomatoes because you know he hates them. Kyle’s are always made with sourdough or bagels, because he doesn’t like normal sandwich bread. John’s not picky, but you make his with a little extra mustard because you know he loves mustard. 

He wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves you, all of you, as you are. You know it too. He’s not shy about showing you how much he adores you in all your layers. 

He desperately wants to marry you. Put a little rock on your finger the color of his eyes and give you his last name. Because then you’d always have a piece of him with you, no matter what. 

“John?” He hums, dragging his palms over your skin just to feel you beneath the calluses. You’re so beautiful. “Marry me.” It catches him off guard, throws him completely off balance. He can feel his heart thundering behind his ribs, bruising his lungs with the rapid pace. He wonders if you’re some kind of mind reader, but quickly realizes you’re probably on the same track as he is, overflowing with love and the need to be bound together for everyone to see. When it fully processes, his cheeks ache with how wide he’s grinning.

“I’m supposed to be the one asking that question, Tempest.” Your eyes sharpen, a playful glee shining before desperation kicks in, hope and longing as you silently plead. He loves you to hell and back ten times over.

“It wasn’t a question, honey.” You squeak into his mouth when he kisses you silly, rough hands holding you tight to his chest while you squirm atop him. Your knees find a home around his hips, wrapping yourself around his body like separating is lethal. You only pull back to look at him when you can’t hold yourself still, trembling in his arms. Beautiful creature you are.

“Fuck I love you. I’ll marry you a hundred times. Whenever you want, wherever you want.” Your giggle is a sound he wants to hear every second of every day for the rest of his life.

The ceremony is small. 

It’s been about a month since the night you told him to marry you, and really he had a hard time waiting this long once it was laid out. He’s not always a patient man, but for you? He’d wait an eternity if he had to, suffering all the while. It’s done in the town hall. You’d said no churches, and he was inclined to agree. Binding two sinners like yourselves to each other would feel disingenuous in a place meant for saints.

Celeste is your maid of honor. Kate is his best woman. Kyle had gotten himself certified as a wedding officiant. You’ve got coworkers and a few others watching, Rita and her husband Marcus beside Brian and his wife Fiona sit in the front row. The mechanic twins are behind them, alongside a few other faces he’s seen around town. He doesn’t have anyone outside of his four, and Kate’s wife is in the crowd. None of that is what matters the most to him, though.

He cries like an infant when you start the walk down the aisle, Simon and Johnny on either side of you leading you up to him. You’re so incredibly beautiful in that white gown it makes his heart ache in his chest. You’re not far behind him, either, but you hold it together better because you’ve got mascara that would ruin your mother’s dress. He chokes his way through his vows, all the love he has boiling over as he spews the longing he’s been living with.

“I’ve been waiting over eleven years for this moment. If someone had told me I’d be marrying you, I’d have proposed the day we met and been happy when you punched me in the face again.” You laugh when he says as much, and so does most of the congregation. Everything is vibrant again, just like that fated day in juvie, colors so bright his eyes strain and his chest so full of air and adoration he’s having a hard time emptying it for another breath. “I love you, my Tempest. I’ve loved you since I was seventeen years old and angry at the world. Then you showed up, just as angry at life and everything going wrong, and suddenly nothing else mattered. You became the center of my universe that day, and will remain like that forever until the end of time.” 

The way you look at him makes him believe that maybe his soul can be redeemed. Then you speak, and he can’t keep himself together, his heart too big to fit in his body and overflowing through his eyes as he stares at the woman he’s finally going to be spending the rest of his life with. Though he’s sure he didn’t have to marry you to spend your lives together. Still, it’s a stepping stone he was desperate to walk.

“John Price, you are the love of my life. I knew it all those years ago when I broke your nose in juvie. It’s true, I probably would have hit you if you’d asked me to marry you.” Everyone giggles again, and you continue. “But I would have said yes after breaking your nose again. It was always going to be this way. In every timeline, in every lifetime, in every alternate reality, the man I fall in love with is always going to be you, John. No matter what happened or how we met, no matter when we crossed paths or how long I’d have to wait. I love you beyond words, beyond life itself. There’s nobody else in this world or the next I’d rather spend eternity with.” 

He’s going to love you forever, until the both of you wither and decay, until the sun dies and the earth is swallowed up by the end of the universe, and then he’ll still love you more.

The rest of Kyle’s spiel is a blur up until the rings are presented and he pronounces you Husband and Wife, and when he’s given the all-clear to kiss you for the first time as your husband, his veins light with electricity. Whoops and hollers ring through the hall, but everything outside of you vanishes the moment he feels your lips plush beneath his. 

He’s dreamt of this very moment for years. He can remember vividly every time he woke up from them, his heart shattering when reality slapped him in the face with the fact that he’d let you walk out of juvie without even a single piece of information to find you. He spent years coming to terms with the fact that he may never see you again, refusing to look you up in the system so as to not invade your privacy. Your business is yours, no matter how badly he needed you in his life. He spent nearly a decade resolved to live the rest of his life without his Tempest by his side. 

What a fool he was, to think he could ever make it without you. He’d have died slowly of heartbreak, eternal suffering swallowing him whole. He realizes, however, that fate has smiled down upon the two of you. Because you’re absolutely right. No matter what, this was always the ending and starting point of the rest of your lives together. It was always going to be the two of you, together, forever. 

It’s during the first dance that he has a stupid realization.

“I never even took you on a proper date, Tempest.” Your smile is warm, full and bright like the sun, his heart swelling with it directed at him.

“We’re not the kind of people that go on dates, John Price.” He grins back at you, swaying together to the melodic piano.

“I suppose you’re right.” 

“I’m always right, my love.” He laughs with you, boisterous and light and oh so happy. Of course you are. Always right, always one step ahead, always ready. And all his. His to love, his to hold, his to laugh and cry with. 

“That you are Mrs. Price.” He leans in close, pressing a kiss to your pretty lips just because he can. Just because he can’t get enough of your taste on his tongue, because he misses you even while you’re right here in his arms and he just wants to be closer.

“I like the sound of that.” 

“So do I, Tempest.”

[kingsmageandlionheart]

Thoughts on Legendborn (TLC, Bk 1)

Wow. Just wow. I had no idea what I was getting into (well a little bit thanks to the little peek I got at this book on my kindle), but it just swept me away in the most wonderful of ways. All of my rambling is under the cut because hello this is an essay whoops.

I'm a sucker for Arthuriana and really just any stories/lore related to that (Anyone ever read The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis? That's my jam.) So of course when I heard that this series has to do with that, of course I picked it up.

And I couldn't put it down. Okay, so I guess this will basically come down to (x) points: 1) The story, the world, the plot 2) The fascinating characters

The story, the world and the plot

I was interested from the start by the idea of descendants of King Arthur, Merlin and his knights here defending the world as we know it from all sorts of hell-creatures and eventually to stop the big bad event Camlann. I have to admit, I was a little bit confused with all the Scion, squire, page, liege, vassal stuff etc in the beginning. But that aside, it's a really cool idea.

It also just felt real to me reading the story through Bree's eyes, and seeing that, despite all this mythic chaos and shenanigans happening, she's still a girl in school with friends and a life to deal with.

I also thought it was really cool to see Bree coming into her power (this is only the beginning, I know, and she's still got a ways to go to figuring it out and stuff, but seeing her in that was cool), and hope to see more of that! By the way, the fact that she's Arthur's Scion?! What?! That throws a wrench into everything...

2. The characters

So I know that when I started this blog, I didn't have in mind yet who were my favorite characters because well, I'd just started reading. Now I can say so. As might be guessed, Selwyn Kane has just decided to start living rent-free in my head, and after "You are my king now, cariad", I can't stop thinking about Brelwyn. But I digress, let's get into my thoughts about the main three characters.

Bree

She's so strong! I love how she, despite the fact that she's still figuring out her role in all of this and what that means, she holds on to her beliefs and she will not let others walk all over her, you know? I personally am impartial to (as in I don't mind either way) if it's a hero or heroine leading the story...I've read lots of books with either or both , and I've enjoyed most everything I've read. But I adore a STRONG character, or one that comes into and discovers that strength in their journey, and I see that in Bree. She's fiery. I loved how she was not taking any shit from Sel in the first half of Legendborn and would snap a comeback or just let him know that she's not fazed by any of that. (We'll get to him in a bit though...though I love that Merlin now more than anything, he wasn't very nice to Bree in the beginning, to put it lightly).

Nick

Hm y'all might want to throw tomatoes at me but I feel a little meh about Nick. It was nice to see him guiding Bree and standing for her in the beginning, but Idk. I didn't feel very drawn to his character. (I tend to like the bad boys or the ones who need redemption arcs, but that's not to say I dislike Nick or I think he's not worth it. Nope, not what I'm saying). He's got a good heart, but I felt he came on a little strong sometimes. I mean, perhaps he was justified when he got angry at Sel over nearly hurting Bree. BUT I still don't think (and I agree with Sel here) it was fair for him to punch the Kingsmage when the latter, because of his oath, couldn't fight back. Okay, Nick is a young man and when I was young, I made impetuous decisions too, so maybe I should cut him some slack? Anyway, sorry this turned into something else.

Back to Nick. He's not bad. The bits with him and Bree were cute, and I can see a love thing happening maybe. I didn't quite follow why Nick wasn't so keen on sticking with Order. I get that there was a problem, but there was definitely bitterness/hostility from him towards that, and he wanted to separate himself from the Order or not be part of all that....I just, maybe I missed something. But yeah, he's not bad.

Sel

I saved my beloved for last. ;) He fascinates me. Also just the idea of 'Merlins' being half-human, half-demon descendants of the og Merlin. They have golden eyes...I thought it was interesting, that bit about his Oaths and keeping the demonia in check with all that. I have to say, my heart ached for him a bit in that scene when he tells Bree about how Lord Davis threatened him with stripping his title and how that means torture for a powerful Merlin like him. It was interesting to me the distinction (thank you, folks who helped clarify this for me) between Merlins and Shadowborn. I just want to know more about him.

Not gonna lie, he definitely seemed a bit of an asshole in the beginning and not so likeable (if his hostility and the way he acted towards Bree was anything to go by). But then again, thinking about it from his perspective...he genuinely thought Bree was a threat, some sort of Shadowborn, and as a real danger. So he was trying to protect Nick and the Order, I suppose.

But then there was the moment when he realized he'd made a mistake, and from that point on, things changed. I loved that scene when Bree's at the trials and Sel's just there watching her from the sidelines. When at the end, he stops her and offers to train her to help her fail less miserably, this was me pretty much.

I really, really liked to see the change between Sel and Bree (I'm a sucker for angst and h/c so moments like the 'You are a monster' 'You called me a monster once' when she hugged him after he found out about his mother, my poor boy) all the way until the 'You are my king now, cariad'. His voice was like a caress. Like. A. Caress. Excuse me, how dare you...and you ask me why I ship these two now. I will, once I finish Bloodmarked probably write something about Brelwyn js.

[dootznbootz]

"Odysseus giving baby Telemachus a lemon to see the funny face he makes" WIP fic update :'D I'm still doing it.

I got into a funk for a while and basically didn't touch it ( I currently have 12 pages of actual story I'm keeping and 32 PAGES of "scrapped ideas/paragraphs/story/etc." ) But now I'm just basically restarting and finally not going to give a flying fuck! >:D

Thank you all so fucking much for the love and sweet/fun chattering about my headcanons/ideas as really made me get outta my funk and gave me a boost! 😭

I basically got trapped in a cycle of

"Is this OoC? Can I be more casual in my wording? Can I have so much fluff and sweetness while still keeping OdyPen scrappy? Is it okay that I'm having this mythological hero getting drooled on by his son? Would it be disrespectful to have this king's baby pull on his hair and face? Is it okay if I have Odysseus constantly have to grab tiny things and jewelry away from his son because baby boy is teething and putting everything in his mouth? Mycenaean Greece from what I've researched didn't even have access to lemons yet! Can I even HAVE Odysseus holding and playing and caring for his son so much despite historically, baby boy would've probably spent most of the time with his nannies/wet nurses? CAN I HAVE THE WATER WIFE BE THE WATER WIFE?!"

And then I would just sit here like this

and kind of give up...

And also just...I guess you could say I have gender roles nonexistent in a way? More in a sense of "men and women do whatever they want and no one bats an eye". You just do whatever you're good at. With Water Wife? I'm definitely having her "playing the waiting game for the suitors" as I LOVE that but I definitely plan for her to be athletic af, built like a swimmer (Naiad. she's from Sparta, etc.)

OdyPen is "likeminded". Think, act, ARE the same in basically everyway. They are kind, clever, rude, reckless, wise, snarky, petty, mean, loving, etc. While she might not tell the cyclops her name like Odysseus would...she'd end up doing something else that wouldn't be good as well... THEY'RE THE SAME.

She'll tell you that the trade they had was unfair as 2 cows that were given have Mad Cow disease and spread it to a few others even when they didn't just to get more of them. A councilmen she doesn't like is afraid of Snakes so she purposely wears snake jewelry and just says it's in honor of Athena. (it is but it's a plus that she can be petty with it as well). She has her pet geese do whatever they want. They're both a menace as much as they're a blessing. Don't get on their bad side.

I have SO much fun with my ideas but got so embarrassed and worried but I'm just... I'm going to go fucking nuts.

Heads up, it's kind of a "sickfic" in which, yeah, Penelope basically gets magic food poisoning. One of my favorite things to write is very "human" moments. it's why I love the Epic Cycle so much. Messy moments, awkward moments, cheesy moments, embarrassing moments, HUMAN. And with love? the whole " I love you no matter what" is my FAVORITE. Telemachus spits up on his parents and OdyPen doesn't care too much as that's their icky wonderful baby boy. Penelope is sick and he cancels an event to take care of her. Stuff like that.

But yeah. Kind of gross shit like this.

Sneak Peak, (unedited), . idk, she's throwing up.

"He wouldn't be taking care of her! The other women would-" Hi! You're going to shut the fuck up! :D Let a man take care of his sick wife WITH the other women! Loving someone when they're at their worst is love! Yahoo!

[stuft]

school blah

it will be a miracle if I don't get sick while I'm here. Maybe I already picked something up, idk but I am trying to ward it off while I can. If Tazakstan doesn't stop coughing near me I may kick him in the shins.

I thought, ah this is a small town, not only are there not many people in this building but we are away from the main part of the city so it's not crowded at all, but it seems like everyone is hacking up a lung and can't bother to cover their mouths at all. Like Covid never happened. Like flu isn't a thing. I thought well I could get away with not masking but clearly I am rethinking that. I don't want to do it here at school but I will when I leave to do some shopping, like today.

There was an afterschool excursion I was going to go on that was leaving at 3, so I went outside with the ppl who were out there waiting, a bunch were smoking, and it was 10 past 3, I had no idea when we'd be leaving--it was just supposed to be going to the Uni to look at students' art and then I think getting a coffee and going into town to the harbor or something, all of which sounded good--but I got tired of waiting, not knowing what was happening, and then it hit me that I was actually tired tired and did not feel up to a couple hours of walking around and being in a group of college kids.

I don't want to have the attitude of "anti-participation w/college kids" because like what are my alternatives and I have nothing against anyone whether I feel like a sore thumb or what, but my tolerance to anything these days is limited. It's my first day and I have done okay. I have homework to do and I'm still settling in.

It's good though that I have a schedule to keep and am somewhat confined here so there are fewer distractions. I want to keep my internetting to a minimum but I may have to ease into it.

Anyway I did buy a few things at 2 supermarkets.

and the cook told me this morning that last night at dinner they had gluten free pasta for me. Welp. How was I to know that. Sorry. It had shrimp in it anyway ew. He's very nice though and pointed out all the GF stuff for me at breakfast and dinner. The signs are handwritten, barely legible and it's hard to see that they are gluten-free. At lunch today they had like meatballs & brown gravy, the ones on the left were GF the ones on the R were not, and I guess no one else knows that there are GF choices and almost everyone for some reason was getting the ones on the left instead of the regular ones. Which is fine as long as it doesn't run out before I get some. Today I happened to be among the first in line.

I also understood that we'd have drinks available to us, like I'd asked about a kettle in the room bc I may want tea and was told oh you can always get hot water from the canteen. Really? bc the doors are locked after each meal. So, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. I have about 30,000 teabags with me, I guess I will just get in the habit of bringing one with me at breakfast & lunch (when the coffee machine is on) and making tea on my way out or something, bc I usually have time left before class.

But classes were fine. I like the teacher, it's nice having a small class and me and VA are close to the same level. Tazakstan idk. He seems to think he knows a lot but my teacher can't understand half of what he's saying and when she does he's often wrong, he had to make a phone call at the beginning of a class, and she'd have to ask him to put the phone away, and he'd be going ahead on the worksheet filling it in and not paying attention to what we were discussing, because we often will go on tangents, sometimes just personal stuff because they we are learning and trying to communicate something that you want to contribute to the conversation is learning. So he's a little off kilter but he's nice enough.

I learn languages best though like in high school when I get pelted with repetition of vocabulary and pronunciation but I guess my ability is past that for here so it's just king of diving right in to dative and accusative and all this shit. And because it's all in German, I do suppose that is better. In high school my teacher taught in English, some of the other language teachers did more the immersive style with less English. But it still feels kind of less structured, idk. But she gave us a book so at least I can look that over and I will be googling lots of words, I should probably start my own vocab sheet.

And of course there's my Duolingo!

Okay brain dump over, my head was feeling a bit overloaded with German today at times but it wasn't so bad. And having another English speaker in class helps bc what if it was like Kazakstan and China? NOT that Virginia and I speak English much in class (verboten mostly) but a word here and there to clarify a meaning. And I already feel like an outsider as an elderly person.

[atopvisenyashill]

season 3 thots

good things

dany's outfits finally look like something a real person would wear thank god i was so tired of that too dark bronzer & those ugly qarth fits good god. still wish she wore less blue but the cut of the main one she’s wearing this season is very good.

SHAE AND SANSA. to me, best part of s3 and the best change they ever did & i love the way we see it shift a bit after sansa marries from shae’s end but i wish we had more introspection from sansa - not as bad as s2 where imo they cut down her part so severely that she’s only showing up to be brutalized, she’s actually doing more besides being miserable this season.

the tyrell stuff starts off really good and margaery en specific is very well done - the way she handles joffrey, the way she befriends sansa, the way she's constantly checking in with olenna. excellent.

lannister family dynamics

king's landing in general is quite good

tywin tells cersei that she’s not a good leader not bc she’s a woman but bc she’s stupid (more or less). cersei basically tells him - okay YOU try keeping joffrey in control. every other tywin-joffrey interaction after this is tywin struggling & even failing to get joffrey under control. then tyrion takes him to task about the red wedding & tywin gives that “why is it more honorable to kill 10,000 at war instead of a dozen at dinner?” mind you we JUST watched the freys & boltons slaughter everyone at the twins, including the entire army. i think this is a fun way of engaging with the point that tywin’s way of doing things is often hypocritical and doesn’t work & he just bullies his kids for no real reason except i’m not totally sure d&d is doing this on purpose altho i realize that is me being a bit harsh.

the jonygritte stuff. amazing chemistry and even when kit's acting isn't that great (cave scene is kinda corny from his end) his chemistry with rose leslie and her acting more than makes up for it. they play off each other so well. they do a really good job of breaking down all the ways jon feels trapped & the way ygritte sees it but purposefully misunderstands why.

meh things

the braime of it all is quite good but that's 100% the acting. they added brienne saying something like "you whine like a woman" to him, which ruined an otherwise well adapted scene, they cut jaime's dream AND they cut the "i dreamed of you" line.

arya & sandor road trip from hell. this is imo where arya’s characterization really starts to flanderize in the show but some of it is still good just on the strength of the acting.

stannis, meli, and davos are like. fine i guess. the shireen scenes are all quite good, they are standouts to me - her teaching davos to read, stannis arguing that he should be allowed to see her (THAT is really interesting to me too like - he feels he can't have a relationship with her because she's a girl so he doesn't but he yearns for it). but everything else is like. eh. it's there.

not opposed to swapping edric storm for gendry but the way tis handled is bad and also i miss shireen having a cousin she loves!! shireen should have been down in the dungeons trying to get to know gendry or something i feel cheated of baratheon cousins!

idk why these dudes are incapable of writing mainly political stories in any place outside king's landing but like. they cut a lot of the politics going on in stannis' camp in s3, they cut sansa's entire vale arc, they cut all the northern faction politics. are they aware political infighting can exist in places without sun or.

again. i'm not saying i'm opposed to them cutting a tyrell brother nor am i opposed to throwing olenna in the spotlight over mace. but the way it's done, where loras isn't in the kingsguard, is just kind of fucking around like an idiot unaware he's being spied on, and olenna is straight up taking mace's role rather than working around him? i'm sorry there's no way tywin would ever respect a woman like that and i know it bc he literally disrespects loreza in canon lol. diana rigg is really great tho so you win n some you lose some i guess.

they cut out like 45% of what gendry and arya are even up to but what's there is very cute tbh! when arya tells hot pie the wolf bread is good!! she's just a kid!!!!!!!!! she just wants friends!!!!!!!!

bad things

who asked for podrick payne to be a sex god. who in the world.

the same way i felt gemma was miscast as asha, i think the dude who plays daario is just miscast here. i’m just not feeling it. tbf it could be how much the nude scene annoyed me but idk. also once again let tyroshi be colorful ffs.

i'm sorry i don't understand why robb is allowed to bully edmure about wanting a sexier wife than walder frey might have to offer him when robb completely broke his oath so he could have a sexier wife. catelyn is innocent and so is book robb but u can take show robb's head off because what in the goddamn hell are we even doing here u nincompoop. lost the war and got your mom killed and walked directly into an obvious set up for what exactly?

SO. SO. we have s DIRECTLY call tyrion out for not fighting particularly hard against marrying sansa because even though some part of him does find the whole thing vile, a much larger part of him is attracted to her and does want to steal her claim out from under her and does want a "proper" wife over, as she is constantly reminding him, "shae the funny whore." and then NOT FOLLOW THROUGH and have tyrion NOT tell Sansa he DOES want to fuck her and instead of giving that "well that's what whores are for" line, he gives a "and now my watch has begun" which implies something WILDLY different. AND SANSA KNEELS FOR THIS MAN???? I FEEL RAGE!!!!!!!!

the brotherhood without banners was so bad. completely misses the point and also the sheer organization. this wasn't just like 6 dudes in a cave! it was a whole fucking operation with funding from both sides of the marches!!!!!! this is a thing they really like to do tho, default to like “the world sucks and is bleak” when the og storyline is much more nuanced.

ramsay is basically an oc. their version of ramsay is not even a little scary to me. he's the same sort of goofy quippy giggly sort of villain that littlefucker is. there's no psychological torture. the sexual torture is whack. they have no chemistry except in that scene where ramsay sniffs him. i can't believe i have to put up with him for three more seasons.

honestly what in the goddamn fuck are they doing with bran. started off semi decently with including his brothers & parents voices in his visions but it went downhill real fast. absolute waste of natalia tena and thomas brodie sangster.

red wedding sucked. too many really bad changes. i was too annoyed with robb by the ending.

talisa

deserves its own section for how bad this whole story is.

oh is her mom finding out her daughter is a queen from a letter. oh is she pregnant when she rolls up to the red wedding. oh is she the one that encourages robb to forgive his mom. oh does she never argue with robb or have any sort of negative interaction with him or grey wind, she’s just perfectly pleasant at all times. okay.

“be nice my mother is finally starting to like you.” “and i like her. but if she had her way i would be-“ sorry catelyn expected her son to not be a fucking idiot but that’s not a moral failing of hers.

is it just me being a hater or is the dialogue in the riverlands like really bad and cheesy.

updated chart/tally

[thebrokenbean]

Okay spoilers for Chapter 25 of Breaking Bread by @ss-shitstorm

I said in the Ao3 comments section that I have theories, and I was told to share. I typed all of this out in Ao3 but realized what an utter wall of text it was going to be, so here it is on Tumblr! Technically it'll be a wall of text anyway but... idk formatting probably works better here lol

In any case, I'm just gonna pick up from my first thought and go from there.

Theory time about Reader's Stranger:

Metal. He's metal. Definitely Megs, especially since we've already found out that he shares the same dream as Reader. Based on his dialogue I'm also guessing that he's experiencing this dream at the exact same time as Reader - they're talking to each other via the dream world and neither of them even knows it.

"I've seen these rooms, I've walked these floors" excuse the Hallelujah quote lol but Reader's recognition of their surroundings reminded me of that. Anyway, I'm getting reincarnation vibes here??? Not that they've both reincarnated though. Megs has been alive far too long for that. BUT maybe it was just Reader?? That would explain why he had such reverence when he asked if it was really them that he was seeing and speaking to.

Their nickname is 'Mouse'. Mouse = tiny, so this could mean in their past life that they were a human he knew very well (How well remains to be seen but I'm leaning towards them being romantic, or at least almost that way, despite how he says 'friend'). If they weren't a human in their past life, maybe they were a small Cybertronian (a minibot??) and 'mouse' is just the English translation of the Cybertronian word? And if they were indeed Cybertronian, 'mouse' could either apply to their physical size or maybe their speed/agility?

"You're light-years from your time, little one"

This ^ does throw me off though. He did show (hastily masked) grief when Reader's death was mentioned, so it's possible he was just trying to reassure them? I mean, it's possible (again, assuming that they're talking directly to his subconscious) he thinks they're just a memory. Like a snapshot of the person he once knew, but the snapshot is taken from before anything bad happened to them. If that's the case, he could just be reassuring them that they're fine so that he doesn't have to relive the pain & deal with his Stranger (re?)learning of their terrible fate. So to connect back to the 'light-years' part, that could just be a figure of speech.

"Were it up to me, I'd never leave"

See see this is one of the reasons why I think they're both dreaming each other in real-time! HOWEVER.

“But you have to leave.”/“We both do. We’ve our lives to return to, after all.”

We both do. This probably throws off the reincarnation theory, which should simply confuse me but instead I'm confused and also fascinated!

What does he mean? How much is he actually aware of?? He definitely doesn't recognize Reader outside of the dream world, since he'd be all over them and (I quote) treating them "as a knight would his king". So what kind of life does he think his Stranger is returning to when they wake up?? Maybe this actually does support the reincarnation theory, while also telling us that he knows about said reincarnation?? Does he think their reincarnated form is somewhere else on the planet (somewhere else in the universe even??) living their life without him, while they're actually right under his olfactory sensor in the form of Reader?? I'm so curious!

“Am I gonna see you again?”/“Of that, you’ve unfortunately no choice.”

The 'unfortunately' here is hanging me up. Granted, "his smile loses all traces of sorrow", so he's back to being a bit of a cheeky menace, which is good because that's normal for him. Butttt something feels off? I think is the right term here? Idk. Might be nothing, or it might be super significant. Either way, I think him being so sure of seeing them again has to do with the dreams. If he meant they'd see him in the real world, that would mean he'd know who Reader is and I've already established that I think their current dynamic would be wildly different if that were the case. So it's possible he simply knows that they'll both have these repeating dreams occur again.

“You’d think the eons that passed would have afforded me greater equanimity, but I’m every bit as emotional as I thought I’d be.”

Wait wait going backwards in the chapter to look at this for a second- "as I thought I'd be." Was he expecting to meet them in this dream?? Also, eons?? Just how much time has passed since he last saw his Stranger in person? Are we looking at multiple reincarnations, if Reader was indeed originally a human?

“There is much I cannot discuss, despite my overwhelming longing to do so.”

Okay actually it's possible he does know about reincarnation. Possibly. I really want to know what he wants to discuss, but for the sake of theorizing... maybe he's refraining from telling them because of what I mentioned about keeping them safe from the knowledge of their horribly tragic death. But it should be fine to talk about other not so horrible things, so that's hard to say. Maybe he does know about reincarnation, knows his Stranger forgets everything, and doesn't want to overwhelm them? Again, hard to say.

“But I don’t... I don’t know who you are.” / “And it must stay that way, for now.”

Hnnnnn yeah I think he knows. He's got to. Or at the very least, his subconscious does. Again, not so sure why he's keeping that a secret from them. Maybe like I mentioned earlier it really is just his subconscious that Reader is speaking to? If it were his main consciousness (like it sort of seems to be for Reader), he probably wouldn't care so much about being cautious (we all know TFP Megs can be a bit too focused on instant gratification lol), but perhaps his subconscious knows better? There's still a lot that remains to be seen though.

Hoo boy. That is utter word vomit. My gosh. Okay. I thinkkk I got everything. I sincerely hope that didn't get too incoherent. I was running out of ways to express my thoughts lol. Plus it was like 1am when I wrote this last night and I'd had a long day 😂

In any case, I'm off to read Chapter 26 because gahh I'm so excited to see where this goes!

[maryasmorevna]

Ship game you said? Eh eh. Let's go: ere//mika (or the ultimate meta on way you have so many problem with the pairing) and,to compensate the bitter with the sweeter:riva/mika. I'm particularly curious about this one because since there was the "levi ackermann" reveal almost nobody talk about their dynamic because "yikes,they could be cousin!11!1"

OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY i left this ask to rot in my box and then forgot all about it I'M SO SORRY fellow salernitana i hope you can forgive me 😭😭😭😭😭

so... starting with why i don't ship e.remika (a serious understatement): it's a horrid potpourri of the tropes i most loathe in the world and that unfortunately seem prevalent in the shonen genre for. some reason i guess. my dislike of ~Girl Obsesses Over Boy (who doesn't care and/or seem to notice her feelings i may add) Until Boy *gasps* Loves Her Back (with no build-up whatsoever. it's all telling and not showing)~ knows no bound. (see also i.chihime from bleach) it's especially annoying to me if the girl has. no fucking goals or aspirations (and sometimes even IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS) that don't revolve around the boy, which is mikasa's case. to sum it all up... this dependency is okay (in fiction, i mean!) only if it comes from both sides. think of cathy & heathcliff (e.remika is like. the fucking discount badly written version of WH): both can't function without the other in an exquisitely destructive portrayal of obsession and codependency that borders on narcissism. so that's not healthy at all, like mikasa's love for eren, which is something that i'm not saying as a hater but that gets explicitly acknowledged in-universe with the intentional parallels with ymir the progenitor's '''love''' for king fritz (tho they make a pairing like, idk, joker/harley look like cutesy vanilla relationship goals, and em as straight up austenian romance lmao).

but, back to WH... it's SO well-written. mikasa instead is sadly dependent on eren to the point her entire character arc is about getting over him and moving on with her grief. that's insane, considering he - as the (male!) protagonist - obviously loves her, but he's got so much else to do, has actual goals which are the basis for the whole plot, and interesting, complex relationships with so many other characters. [yes, i said that he loves mikasa, tho i don't buy that he wanted to live with her in la Casetta In Canadà and forget the world because that's SO not eren; that's mikasa's dream, and it's shown as illusory wishful thinking for a reason. but while i think his romantic feelings were portrayed so badly it's kinda laughable ngl, it's always been obvious that he deeply cares for her. she and armin are the most important persons in his life, and idw to imply differently.] mikasa comes VERY close to have her own arc, independently from eren, but her character development seems to round in circles again. and again. and again. letting eren go - which is something that stems from the trauma-imprinting she had on him; she never elaborated her parents' death, and losing him too would mean losing them, feeling that pain, all over again - is something she's shown to do in the early episodes of s1, before eren even turns into a titan. but then we see her choose him over all else again, and then realizes that there are other important things and persons too (that time levi injured himself to save her because she was too focused on getting to her boy, remember?). and then the cycle repeats all over again to peak in the (admittedly tragic but extremely predictable) finale, where he's destroying the fucking world, almost killing her and all their friends, and she still hesitates over taking a fucking stand. she fights against the founder titan, yes, but she never openly condemns eren's actions, she never stands up to him like armin does. mikasa is shown as a strong, sometimes even defiant person to everyone else but eren (see how she gets with levi; especially in the manga, she contradicts him A Lot and doesn't give a shit about his scary reputation - her own is nearly as fearsome after all); she's very passive with him in a way that doesn't suit her. of course she loves eren, but armin loves him too and he fights back and doesn't take any of eren's shit when he insults them both, while mikasa just... stands there crying prettily, i guess. which brings me to the elephant in the room: it's armin who's actually the biggest influence on eren (the latter himself says it was armin showing him the book about the outside world that made him realise he wasn't free, just to list one example); it's to save him who eren sacrifices himself for, which then prompts his first transformation into the attack titan. they're narrative foils (tho the same could be said about him and reiner and to a lesser extent gabi), complementary opposites. he's so physically affectionate towards armin, especially if contrasted with his colder behaviour towards poor mikasa - okay, he's a bit of a tsundere, but one thing is saying that he represses his feelings actually, and another is showing it!

i know all about characters repressing and outright denying they feel something for their LI, believe me; i love emotionally stunted idiots who can't emote for shit (maybe because i am so emotional and feel things too deeply, i'm drawn to my opposite). but @ yams....... please...... have mercy on me, because that's Now How You Do It, and whoever says otherwise is delusional. if a female character from anything but a shonen/bordering on seinen anime got this kind of characterization there would be so much discourse, so many polarizing opinions, so much hate for the author. i'm not saying western media don't have a sexism problem - quite the contrary!! - but mikasa is. an especially bad case? i haven't seen one so bad in a long ass while, maybe because i'm used to consume media with (generally speaking) well-written female characters. like, c'mon. imagine if mikasa had been the female protagonist of a fantasy book series, or a tv show... oh god. and no, sorry but having her kick ass right and left doesn't make her a Strong Female Character actually. Feminism 101 is founded on women having a life outside their relationship with men, and. mikasa doesn't? not really? at least compared to other female characters in the series. yams made a half-decent job with them (tho giving that backstory to ymir the progenitor was. certainly A Choice, as it was sidelining historia and annie for so many chapters), which makes mikasa's static, repetitive, stale character arc really, really sad, because my girl had so much potential. i mean, even em as a pairing had so much potential! childhood friends turned to enemies, like, hello?? imagine if mikasa had got armin's complexity and relevance and a fucking life outside of eren, for god's sake. imagine if she loved him, really, but she repressed her feelings and wasn't so heavily dependent on him (or they both were. from the beginning), and still stood up to him and called him out on his bullshit without erasing her hidden vulnerability and fragility. imagine if their relationship was between equals and-- ah, imagine her getting a character development a la casca (without all the horrifying shit she endures and the 200 chapters long catatonia and sexualisation, tho, tyvm!!!), since isayama himself said she was the blueprint for mikasa - in general he was heavily inspired by berserk - and it shows because they're basically twins separate at birth *insert spiderman meme*. i mean, yams even said that the scene where eren saves mikasa from the slave traders was based on griffith rescuing casca and her imprinting on him instantly, and god does it show.

........... but then em would just be het e.remin, so. whatever. there's also mikasa's need to grow the fuck up, and for that she needs to see that her wishful thinking, her beliefs about ~Eren Loves Me So Much, He Can't Live Without Me!! even when he gives her the cold shoulder so many times, are wrong. that's how you write a character growing into adulthood: you challenge them, you show that the world is founded on a very different basis than what they believed. (see lucy from fallout - she's an adult but she's in a metaphorical infancy before getting out of her vault and a coming-of-age arc throughout much of the series.) if you reinforce mikasa's beliefs... she just remains static. which brings me to...

r.ivamika: oh, i adore them. they had so much potential in many different ways... unfortunately it's very, very obvious how much yams doesn't give a shit about the ackermans. first thing first: it's not incest. they're not cousins. it's explicitly stated that they're only very distantly related, and well, it's glaring how much they don't consider each other "family" or whatever. they're descendants of the same ancient clan, that's all. (actually, mikasa is eren's foster sister and she says he's her family more than once. but that's something em shippers generally seem to gloss over. not that i think em is incest either, it's not. maybe a very lite version of pseudo-incest like the abovementioned WH, but nothing more.) tbh i always thought of them being "related" a la darkling and mal from the greggrisha trilogy. technically they are but (stealing my brother's words of wisdom about the whole rm insane discourse) "it isn't gross" because it's been too fucking long for a relationship between them to be incestous. i mean, guys... words have meaning. you can dislike it but after many generations (500 years for the darkling and mal) they're really not more than nominally related at best. after six gens the shared blood is 0.01%, let alone... whatever the fuck levi and mikasa are. i mean, this obsession the fandom has with them as ~cousins is ridiculous - okay for a headcanon, obviously, but they're very much not framed like that in-universe. like, they have a professional relationship between a soldier and her superior, between comrades in arms. she loathes him until she doesn't; she thinks he's (and i quote) a "sadistic freak" until she doesn't, and she starts to feel respect for him and even *gasp* CARE FOR HIS WELL-BEING lmao???? but nope, she doesn't think of him as a family member. yams could have easily gone that way with them, but he didn't. it's nice to think about mikasa finally finding a belonging, especially with all her grief and family-issues (see, again, her obsession with eren, as stated above)... but that's exactly the reason why i like levi as a romantic option for her.

i'll explain why: they have this Pride&Prejudice vibes+mentor/protégée+veteran/talented newcomer+recognition through the other (derogatory) thing going on that i find very interesting. someone once said levi is basically a more evolved and mature version of mikasa, and i agree. but they're also very different, in a way that would both complement the other and challenge them. levi has an almost opposite way of dealing with grief compared to mikasa: she fiercely clings to few close people and does everything in her power to stop them from fading away from her; he has a long history with losing people too, and that's what makes him keep everyone at a distance (and fail spectacularly at it but that's another matter). he's already resigned to letting them go (see how he deals with erwin and hange's deaths, for example) and making hard choices in a merciless, impossible situation. you can't suffer if you don't grow attached to people in a world and a profession where death is an everyday occurrence, right...? right?????? except that he cares and mourns too, of course. he just represses it all, and he's very efficient at it. now, since mikasa's main issue is that she can't let go (especially of eren)... you can see how they both can teach something to each other and grow together. they're very similar personality-wise: both stoic, strong, loyal, excellent fighters, with a cold façade and a (more or less hidden) heart of gold beyond all that ice. they're both the strongest in the world; she's the only one who can keep up with him on the battlefield, the only one who can challenge him (and vice versa). he respects her almost from the very start; she despises him so hard that it blinds her in some occasions, but grows from hating his guts for kicking the shit out of eren to asking his help to kill eren. obviously they're the only ones with their special powers, being the last ackermans and all that. they could really understand each other on a deep level... if only isayama had made them interact!!!!! which he didn't. I MEAN. searching for their clan's roots, bonding over how unique and, for this very same reason, lonely they are? ["there are no others like us, and there never will be" *cough cough*] nope. let's make them never address the elephant in the room!! tbh they could have been descendants of different clans with similar powers and biology, and nothing about their relationship would have changed lmao. like, this girl has serious family-related issues; that's one of the reasons she fixates on eren. why doesn't she go to levi and, idk, ask him about something, anything? that's such a glaring flaw - not a plot hole but a... characterization hole, if you will - i seriously can't even fathom it. all this Carramba Che Sorpresa shit, all this fucking insanity over the poor harmless rm shippers... for that? (with that being: nothing. the void. nietzsche's abyss, maybe.) 😭😭😭😭😭😭 also, there's this persistent headcanon in the fandom that levi would inquire about the ackerlore, but... this only shows how shallow some fans' reading of the characters is. levi WOULD NEVER. levi is afraid of committing himself to someone, to feel so deeply he can't recover from a loss, to have distractions from his long-time goal, and this includes family business. (isayama actually explicitly said it in an interview!) it's mikasa who's so hungry for belonging... and making her curious about their shared heritage, having some kind of bond with levi (even a strictly platonic one), would have helped her step out of eren's shadow. like, a lot. and of course that didn't happen... whatever. 

tl;dr: i love them and i've written about them more than any other pairing so far, which is ridiculous (2 long fics, one of which is sadly unfinished, and a shorter one). I'm not fixated on aot anymore these days - the toxicity in the fandom and my displeasure with some of the manga's storylines were curbing my enthusiasm - but they'll always have a special place in my heart. gotta love a semi-rareship with such a potentially juicy, complex dynamic. 

(e naturalmente se vuoi Passare Al Lato Oscuro e see what all the fuss is about posso linkarti un paio di fic scritte molto bene, oppure umilmente farti leggere le mie, che sono in italiano)

thank you so much for the ask and, again, SORRY for not replying for so. fucking. long ughhhhhhh ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[imhereformr]

Hi, the last ask which you answered was from me, thank you so much for answering 😊

Could you answer the same question but for the specialists ? Thanks 😊

Can you please rank each of the specialists in terms of your favourite to least favourite ?

Also please can say what you like and dislike about each of them?

Okay I'm starting this on September 15th 2023. Let's see how long it takes to fully answer and post it 😂 UPDATE: It's now December 11th. Whoops.

1. Riven

Once again, my beloved. My king. My precious kitten that must be protected.

I'm a sucker for the bad boy character, let's start with that.

I hate the regression in his development. Loathe it. The writers should be hanged/burned at the stake/drawn and quartered for it.

But his character development, when it's there is SO SO GOOD. I love my precious damaged baby learning to let himself be loved and open himself up. It's just so beautiful :')

And yeah, it doesn't hurt that he's nice to look at even with his stupid onion hair.

2. Brandon

TBH Brandon and Nabu switch places a lot depending on my mood.

Brandon is a king (just not actually) (that's a joke about the switch, just not a good one). He is loyal, patient, kind, hardworking, confident. Frankly, I'm not sure he has any faults?

And now that I'm trying to think of something I dislike, I can't. Maybe he should permanently be #2?

3. Nabu

I HATE the way Nabu is introduced, let's start there, yeah? Stalking is just not a good look, babe. Even if it was intended as "research into your future wife" and not outright stalking. Lying about your identity, maybe a smidge better cause it's not an actual crime? Idk, I'll let you guys judge for yourselves on that one.

I love his character. He's easy going, charming, confident, funny (and alive, at least in my mind).

4. Timmy

I'm 100% convinced the reason I love Timmy is because of the way he is in my head and not in the show because in the show he has no actual personality besides geek 🙃

I do love that Timmy is genuine and kind. And come on, how can you not love how romantic he is? This man refused to believe Tecna was dead when everyone else was mourning her. And he found her! And then was willing to go to Omega for her.

My issue with him, as with most other characters, is the writers fault. He has no backstory, no character development, nothing. He exists as the geek character and Tecna's boyfriend. Nothing else.

5. Helia

Helia's cool I guess he just had no personality, you know? That's literally all I can say. Much like Timmy, his personality is very 1d (that's one dimentional, not one direction). It's art.

Oh, and "mystery" for a bit there.

And once he and Flora are together, well, sometimes I think the writers forgot about him.

6. Sky

Sky, much like Bloom, had potential. He could have been the prince who is struggling under the pressure, who just wants to do good for his people. He could have been a multi-faceted character who makes mistakes and tries to fix them, who has a personality and a sense of humour. Instead, he's blank-slate, white bread, perfect prince charming. He's boring.

[kitty-mactabbysh]

I Know Those (Dead) Eyes

Okay, so... I was thinking about posting my prompts and fics on Twitter but the place is scary... so decided to go to Tumblr which is also a bit scary but less.

Anyway I'm Kitty or Tabby or whatever you want to call me idk

And this is my GhostSoap Count of Monte Cristo AU ♡

I posted the unfinished thing a couple hours back if you saw it you didn't ♡

And keeping in mind English is not my first language (but maybe you can guess which one it is, compadre ^^)

Let's get to it.

Heads up I'm basing it off this song. It's a Monte Cristo musical and said musical is my muse for everything I do. It's great.

"Smile a little, Johnny. They're all here for you." Phillip whispered, turning to face the guests with a kind, calculated smile as he took a sip of his champagne. John sighed, faking a smile as some people approached him to give him his birthday wishes.

But the brunette's mind was well elsewhere.

15 years.

It had been 15 years since Simon had been imprisoned. 10 since Phillip had confirmed his death at the Tower of London. He said it was an accident, but he was vague. It could really have been anything.

And not knowing hurt John like hell.

He always hoped they could have been reunited after the incident. That somehow they would prove him innocent. But trusting in the Magistrate had been a resounding mistake. Believing that Makarov would help them was insane.

And despite his grief, despite his lack of wanting to do... anything, and the hopes that his betrothed would return to him someday, Phillip had been so understanding, so kind... A childhood friend John had never thought of as anything else but a confident now had his hand in marriage. And the memories he held? Locked away in the depths of his mind. The mildest stir in his innermost thoughts enough to unleash an ocean of grief upon any who dared poke at his still bleeding wounds.

"I hope you are enjoying the party, Johnny." The blonde grinned. "I even managed to slip the Count of Monte Cristo an invitation, just for you.”

The words made the younger man raise an eyebrow.

"The Count of Monte Cristo is here?”

"Not yet, tootsie, no... but he will be.”

And, sure as daylight shone upon their bedroom every single morning, there he was, his presence taking all the attention in the room. In his formal attire, which resembled more a king rather than a count in any possible way, Monte Cristo looked like a mystery. A conundrum every single nobleman had tried to crack since he first showed up in the streets of Edinburgh. His skull mask, covering only half of his face, looked like it was made of delicate porcelain. The details pure gold.

The guests around the ballroom made way for him to pass, the sea of people opening up as if he was some sort of god.

He scanned the room, an air of superiority and mystique that was hard to match even for the richest Duke, enough to make him feel like he was lacking something.

The whole room seemed to be holding their breaths, and the whispers weren't always the most discreet.

“Told ya he'd be here.” John overheard his husband's cheeky voice from somewhere on his left. His eyes were focused on the figure ahead of him, swallowing hard in nervousness when the Count of Monte Cristo approached him with large, purposeful footsteps. His tall figure loomed above the younger man as the blonde held out his hand.

“My sincerest blessings for you on this special day, Mr. Graves.” He turned his eyes towards Phillip. “Count Graves.”

Phillip bowed his head in a formal response.

“My husband and I are delighted you could make it, Count. Isn't that right, Johnny?”

He turned his attention back to John witn the lack of a response, eyebrow raising slightly in confusion, as the Scotsman also appeared confused, but in a mesmerized way.

Those… eyes…

The Count of Monte Cristo was also curious about the birthday man's silence, eyes lazily returning to focus on him.

There was a spark of recognition in John's own eyes when he saw the Count's.

The eyes of a dead man.

“I'm afraid you are confused, Mr. Graves.” The Count replied, his voice surprisingly cold. “This is the first time we meet.”

“Excuse me,” He said, suddenly. “Have we met before?”

“Right… my apologies, then.”

But John 'MacTavish' wasn't convinced.

As the night went by uneventful, he kept watching the Count of Monte Cristo from afar, that mystery of a man… and there was only one person he could think of.

It was Simon Riley himself, the man he had once loved so viciously, who loved him with as much fire, as much tenderness, and he had returned from the dead, to haunt his past lover in his this new life.

---•♡

Sooooo if you're not familiar with Monte Cristo Graves is Mondego Mondego is a bad guy this and that... I might post more of this, I don't know... I'm really shy as hell there's not much I can do about it.

Thanks for reading ��

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AHHAHAAH this is SO FUCKING FUNNY I'M TOTALLY NOT FUCKING CRYING AT HALF PAST 2 IN THE MORNING BECAUSE I REWATCHED THE FINAL FIFTEEN. @bat-plus-moth-equals-both IS WITH ME AND HE TRIED TO SLAM THE LAPTOP CLOSE SO MANY TIMES WHILE I TYPE THIS BUT THEY GAVE UP EVENTUALLY LMAO IDK WHY THEY WOULD TRY TO STOP ME FROM POSTING THIS I'M JUST GIVING EVERYONE AN UPDATE!

ALCOHOLICS YES WE'RE ALL BLOODY ALCOHOLICS I'M GOING TO BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC TO DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHIT WHERE'S VODKA GIVE ME VODKA

YES SLAY KING WHATEVER YOU WANT NEIL WE SUPPORT YOU AS A COMMUNITY

FUCK YEAH I'M CRYING TOO BABY I'M CRYING TOO

HE DID HUH DIDN'T NOTICE THAT THROUGH ALL THE FUCKING TEARS BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S ALL GOOD IT'S GUCCI BABY I'M NOT GOING THROUGH ANY STAGE OF GRIEF RIGHT NOW

THEY WERE WEREN'T THEY? AND NOW THEY'RE MORE DIVORCED THAN DIVORCED? ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS AND FUN? MY LITTLE PONY!

CROWLEY FUCKIN LOVES THAT CAR BABE! IT'S A GREAT TIME HERE HE LOVES IT SO MUCH HE LIVES IN THE CAR NOT BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING HOMELESS OR ANYTHING NAH NAH NAH THIS IS A COMEDY REMEMBER IT'S GOOOOOOOOD

BOUNDARIES ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AMIRITE OR AMIRITE

AHAHAH OMG I DIDN'T REALISE THIS WAS LITERALLY A JANE AUSTEN DANCE LIKE GO BABY AZIRAPHALE FUCKING MANIPULATE THE ENTIRE NEIGHBOURHOOD HYPNOTISE AND SLIGHTLY POSSESS THEM YOU ELDRITCH BASTARD SLAY YOU'RE SO ANGELIC

CROWLEY BABY THIS DO BE SO ROMANTIC THO I LOVE CROWLEY DO YOU ALL KNOW THAT I LOVE CROWLEY SO FUCKIN MUCH WHAT WAS THIS LINE ABOUT AGAIN

INEFFABLE EVERY DAY IS SCHOOL DAY EXCEPT I LEARNED NOTHING IN SCHOOL BUT ON THE INTERNET YEARS AGO I LEARNED THE TONGUE HAS OLFACTORY RECEPTORS AND CAN SMELL SO YOU KNOW THOSE FICS WITH SNAKE CROWLEY SMELLING WITH TONGUE GUESS WHAT BABY BABOOS WE CAN DO IT TOO!

NO FUCK YOU SHE HIT CROWLEY OKAY

YEAH AND IN THE BOOK HE SLAMS THE DOOR ON CROWLEY WHO WAS JUST ASKING SOFTLY IF THEY WOULD TALK SOON BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF BEING TORTURED WITH THE SPANISH INQUISITION METHODS BY HELL BUT NO AZIRAPHALE WAS LIKE JOLLY GOOD BYE AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. AND IT SAYS THAT CROWLEY STOOD THERE, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE. @neil-gaiman WAS THIS YOU OR TERRY, PLEASE? EITHER WAY I HAVEN'T DARED OPEN THE BOOK AGAIN BECAUSE I'LL CRY.

WAIT NO I MEAN EVERYTHING IS FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PAST TWO POINTS IT'S ALL GOOD HERE GOOD OMENS FANDOM IT'S ALL GOOD CROWLEY YES OBSESS OVER AZIRAPHALE HONESTLY AZI IS A BITCHY BASTARD AND AN ABSOLUTELY STUNNING CHARACTER AND SWEETIE PEAK BABYGIRL ENERGY

EVERYDAY IT'S A GETTIN' CLOSER GOING FASTER THAN A ROLLERCOASTER A LOVE LIKE TH--

BECAUSE CROWLEY IS A POLITE LIL SMOL SHITBAG AND I ADORE HIM

WE'RE ALL DYING LITERALLY BABY THIS IS A ROLLERCOASTER TO HELL AND IT'S PICKING UP PACE EACH MOMENT AND YES AZI IS SO IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY IT'S SICKENINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND WE'RE ALL CHILDREN OF DIVORCE (I'M ADOPTED)

DISCO TONY DISCO TONY DISCO TONY

OH GOD I'M SO SORRY TERRY PRATCHETT WE ALL LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR CREATING THIS STORY WITH NEIL WE'RE ALL DOING SO WELL WE'RE COPING I MEAN NOT COPING THERE'S NOTHING TO COPE WITH WE'RE ALL EMOTIONALLY STABLE INNIT

YES HE IS IMPORTANT AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO REMEMBER HIM. FULL STOP.

I MEAN YES SURE BABE THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART CROWLEY LIKES SPEEDING WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINAL FIFTEEN ALL I SAW WAS CROWLEY DRIVING THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT THE BENTLEY NOW I SAW NOTHING ELSE AND THE CAR DEFINITELY DID NOT PLAY ANYTHING REGARDING NIGHTINGALES

SEE GUYS I KNOW A LOT OF YOU KEEP CHECKING IN ON ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M NOT COPING NO NO LISTEN SEE I'M COPING SO WELL OR I WOULD BE IF THERE WAS SOMETHING TO COPE WITH WHICH THERE ISN'T THIS WAS A LOVELY COMEDY A LOVELY LOVELY COMEDY

Pt II good omens but i've still never watched it

so you crazies blew up the other post, and many of you tried to explain the plot to me. many others said there is no plot. many said i was accurate. many said i wasn't. and then i watched a few youtube edits of the angel and the demon.

I'm convinced that I know at least a little bit more now, so like the great guy I am, I decided to share how well you've educated me.

the plot is an angel and demon become alcoholics together while doing the good ol' animal husbandry

neil gaiman doesn't have social media

everyone is crying because the angel wanted to go to heaven and the demon said no

and then the demon did the kissy smoochy to make the angel stay and the angel said no

they were not married for 6000 years but they were more married than married

there is a car. it is silver and crowley likes it.

the car is then yellow. crowley doesn't like it. aziraphale does.

there's some kind of Jane Austen ball and dance

oh but also crowley gives aziraphale a more private dance in their home and he bows while making intensely sexual eye contact with the angel who is turned on and says nice and everyone is gasping about it

no one knows about god, not the fandom, not the characters, not god herself. god is ineffable. hey mum i learned a new word!

they run over an american witch

the angel likes books in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

the demon likes the angel in a way bordering on obsessive and worshipful

there's a gramophone

crowley says sorry a bunch of times

aziraphale keeps getting flustered and dying coz of crowley, and the fandom dies every time. crowley is also dying. everyone is dying. hopefully not literally, im now scared of this fandom.

there's a psychedelic drug trip at some point that's in the edits where crowley goes whee down a chute. either that or the sleep deprivation is getting to me. fuck you, good omens fandom.

terry pratchett is a guy

whether he is real, or a character, or like neil gaiman he is neither real nor a character, i am unsure, but he is important and people want me to remember him

crowley likes speeding

[some-internet-stranger]

more isat ramblings under the cut because I wanna put my thoughts down

cut!!

oKAY. I have calmed down a little since finishing the game. I actually finished it one day after I posted my first ramble post, which was on the... 21st of march. So, I finished on the 22nd. cool. Completely burned my eyes out of my head and couldnt look at any screens for three days afterwards. Pretty sure I finished the game in five days or something. Very fun, very cool. But I also rushed through it (needed to know how it ended) so I missed a few things

Also, apparently there is a secret ending.... or a secret boss fight? Like any true uh media-finisher(?) I went straight to Ao3 after watching the credits to quench the thirst for more of the same thing! Ily ao3. So i may have gotten a little spoilered by the tags on a few works, but... Well, idk for sure whats gonna happen. I'm about to find out!

mhhh. okay first, lets think back to the ending!!! I was fooled by my google search saying that there were more than 5 acts. Act 6 was the epilogue. I assumed before that act 5 would have more of the 'finding things out' kinda vibe as act 3 and 4. I was wrong. Its siffrin losing it! Awesome! Holy shit that shit hurted, ow. Having to say all of these awful things to the others hoo boy!! Love the pain! Awesome sauce.

All of them showing up despite everything!!! AH. Okay, yes, the whole finale was AWESOME. Idk what to say. shrug.. I should have taken notes right after playing because know I've already thought about it so much in my head that i dont feel like i have to put it down as much... mh anyway.

I'll just theorize a little about some things, thats what I'm making this post for after all.

So. two-hats is what the ending is called. At least thats what I've seen people refer to. At the end of act 5 Siffrin loses his hat. So i'm guessing that in two hat ending there's a second hat. Maybe even a second siffrin... mhhhhhh

I'm pretty sure that I can piece together whats gonna happen, but then again, I'm not sure if it fits entirely.?? Well anyway, the sad diary talks about creating a second version of the author and succeeding at it. cool. Right, i still think that loop is probably Siffrin. I just dont know how it fits into the world.

I now know that there is actually a second, first game. Start again, a prologue. Which has the same characters. I haven't played it (yet) and dont know that much about it. I've been wondering if maybe loop was the siffrin from that game. But that wouldn't make that much sense, right? that would mean that there are other versions of the others too, right? Also I'm not sure if I believe that Siffrin is a copy of someone, it is implied that they do have parents, right? When eating malanga fritters for the idk-how-manyth-time they briefly remember their parents, anyway... So mh. Somethings strange. Also! when interacting with the sad diary in act 5 you get more info on it. Apparently it was somewhat of a cautionary tale where siffrin is from. Interesting. So the story is a well known kinda thing in the country no one remembers. (I'm so sad we dont know what happened to the country!!! AHhhhh I wanna know so badly!!!!!)

But, assuming that the author used wishcraft which they did, (we know that, idk why i phrased that sentence like that)... mh, well... Maybe the wish split off into a different time line or something??? Idk, no clue.

I guess I'll have to find out.

If the country no one remembers was the place where that other game took place (which I know also has a timeloop going on)(idk how it ends, but maybe in that game siffrin doesn't break free or something?)(no clue) maybe being stuck in that loop forever is what make everyone else forget it? The king had some dialogue, i think, where he wonders what vaugarde must look like from the outside (stopping and rewinding all the time). Maybe perhaps that's what happened to the country to the north too? Its stuck and thats why nobody can get in?? Nah, i dont think thats it. but interesting to think about.

anyway. tags on ao3 were talking about a secret boss fight, so I'm guessing that you gotta fight loop...? I always knew they were EVIL (i don't think they are)(no clue how thats gonna work)

Also no clue if I even did all things necessary to trigger anything different happening.

I know that on my first walk-thru i was still missing two quests. The ghost event and the suspicious event. The latter of which was hard af to get, I just kept forgetting to do stuff. Well, I got it now.

ookay enough thoughts. I really need to get that ending so i can read all of the spoilery fanfiction. Looking forward to that ehehhehe

okkookookoook

[clarisse-owo]

so, me thinking about this post a bit.

i think that none of the examples above are bad writing, but I can't say much about piccolo cuz i never watched his part, but let's see...

darth vader was corrupted to the dark side, committed a massacre in a preschool of kids that admired him and then caused genocides in the whole universe. even if given the "he was groomed" card, i think he should not be forgiven. he is kinda similar to catra, but he changed when he was an adult, and even saying that the jedi also brainwashed him wouldn't have changed it. catra was groomed from a baby, she didn't knew any better and thought she was doing what was right. also blowing a whole planet is not okay. do you know how many habitable planets there are in the universe? not enough.

vegeta was born and raised as a prince of a super powered race that is known to engage in wars and stuff. he felt entitled to whatever he wanted and in the end, although I don't have the whole dbz in my head, he did change and became a good characters. yeah, he may have caused genocides, but he was also kinda groomed from birth like catra. and i like his character so he gets a pass

magneto may be a villain, but he fights for a good cause in the only way he thinks is viable. yeah, he may have caused a lot of deaths, but he saved a lot of other ones for sure. even if you don't think he deserve to be forgiven, he is just a symptom to inequality and how violence will only lead to violence and the only way that the abused minorities can get something is by taking action. yeah, he should probably not commit mass murder, but he is making more mutants know that they have a place in the world and they have to fight for it. also he killed hitler so it's ok. his character is nuanced and i love it. btw i heard he was inspired by Malcolm X and Xavier be Martin Luther king Jr on their ideologies which makes me like him just because of the whole peace vs revolution aspect of them. also i am not from the USA and i haven't studied a lot about them so i may be wrong or misinformed, so if i am, I'm up to learning and changing. no one is a monolith, we can grow and be better.

zuko was similar to catra too. he was basically groomed into a war he was never going to win, he thought he was doing what was right, but his uncle helped him see and he ended up breaking his need to please his father, turned to the hero's side and did redeem himself. also genocide in his belt. i see a pattern

venom is an alien form that consumes living things for survival. idk where to put him, but yes, genocide. i legit don't know a lot about him besides that and that he turn peter into a bully, but that's ok i guess

catra was groomed as a kid into a war she was never going to win. was abused and forced into submission against her nature. she feared for her life, but she thought she was doing the right thing. she saw her best friend betray the authoritarian regimen they both worked for and felt like it was personal. she needed to fight, but now she had no one else to turn to, she was alone. after a while she did see her ways and redeemed herself, but she suffered by doing so. zuko had his uncle, vegeta had nothing else to lose, but catra lost all the support she had. the friends she grew up with. yeah, i think she is not even close to what darth vader did, bit she had no iroh by her side and was blinded by her abusers. and even when she helped to save the world, seeing it as a realistic universe, she would still be frowned upon for years. she-ra went through it, and now she will go through it. she will not just be a friend of the whole city just because she helped to save the world. plus we don't know if the whole world is ok with queer relations, so she could still be a target for that. catra is really well written and do deserve forgiveness. also wlw, so she's good on my book.

remember kids, suffering goes past canon. it's not because they redeemed themselves that they stop suffering. catra will still deal with her actions and trauma for her whole life while the others are mostly ok from what i know. vegeta changed, got a family and never talked about the genocides, he look like he got over it very quick, zuko will still deal with all of that as he was a part of the whole fire nation shtick, but i think he was not that badly treated and even got the fire nation redeemed and even was aang's helper, so i think he had it well and maybe had an ending that would be similar to catra's in the end. darth vader was redeemed but dead in the end (unless retconned by disney) so he did not suffer as much, and well... venom is venom, idk...

Face it, Darth Vader, Zuko, Piccolo, Vegeta, Magneto, Loki and Venom did far worse, unforgivable things yet when they were redeemed to varying degrees, fandom gave them free passes. Yet when Catra ,a child soldier who was physically and mentally abused by her mentor, realizes how much she has hurt the people around her; strives to be a better person; saves her childhood best friend and the entire world with the literal power of love (in spite of the series being cut short), fandom screams for her blood, yelling that she was "the real villain" and "should've died".

I have nothing against either Vader, Zuko, Piccolo, Vegeta, Magneto, Loki or Venom. However, when fandom declares a queer catgirl to be "the face of unforgivable evil", that's when we need to call out the blatant sexist, and kind of queerphobic, double standards.

And no, don't even give me that "BuT BaD WrItInG" thought-terminating rubbish. Funny how everything seems to be "BaD WrItInG" only when it involves some form of media made by and/or starring women, queer people and other minorities. Don't you think?

[knowlessman]

It is Thursday, my dudes. (bnha s6e11-15)

oh shit, jeanist ain't dead? they dint show his face/collar, but who else could that be in this jet

I thought yall needed to keep tomura off the ground cuz he can just dust everybody for miles around. ig tbf he is pretty beat up

"jin meant a lot to me" waaaaait… does toga have some of twice's blood. shit, she's yet another Ditto, she could just have the quirk of anybody else on her team at-will. she could have several bodies' worth of the quirk of anybody else on her team, at-will, if twice gave her any of his blood -- "I was hoping to talk to her about relationships" gonna level with you, the closest thing to a remotely qualified therapist in this entire show might, of all people, be todoroki, and if you wanna talk to him, well, you should prolly get back on bigfoot ig

… is too wrapped up in The Scene to make the hall and oates ref

lolwtf since when did jeanist have those bigass cable thingies??? 'XD he's got levitating mechanical pulley thingies now???

…okay ngl. if only I hadn't been spoiled on all that. I mean… idk, would I have guessed it anyway? I forget how much I knew; I knew he did a dance. maybe the clips I saw had subtitles? eh, he has a fire quirk and spiky hair and injuries n stuff, maybe I would've guessed it anyway. tbh I thought endeavor thought he'd killed him directly, but ig toya was just like trying to power up his quirk or something when the fire happened

"gigantomachia's strength has its limits, too. after he got here, he started gasping for air" ah, did those tranquilizers have an effect after all? -- (shigaraki says one thing to him and he's back struggling again) come onnnn, they worked so hard for that

ey, mirio's back too

(bakugo picked hisself a "new" hero name) AHAHAHAHA finally a bakugo bit that's at least funny

blackwhip. …froppy. style. sigh

deku. deku what did I say about talking about other people's backstories. you're talking to dabi about endeavor.

okay finally, so we know the sedative did work. dang, took long enough

compress: "I still haven't gotten to do my bit! I'll show you the best form of entertainment!" think maybe you should've joined up with gentle thief, my dude. you'd be a way better match for his vibe

(league of villains flashback) "you are the creature rejection clan" hey wait a minute… clan? …nah, nah, surely the writer wouldn't be as subtle as this if he was trying to reference that -- "sinners, sacred ground," etc. eh. prolly then ig. nobody seems to do a faction that tries to stand up for non-powered people, only ones that pick fights with the powered folks for what's narratively treated as no reason. maybe The Boys did that more intelligently, but hell if I'm up for trying that, thinking about how many people didn't get the satirical bits would prolly be too distracting -- "what is our goal, shigaraki? WHAT IS OUR GOAL?" some very good questions

"I can pokeball bits off my own body to free myself from the restraints!" well. damn. …when are you gonna start doing stuff, spinner?

compress's dad/ancestor (?) was robin hood, huh. well how do you like that, I don't think I even dislike this guy any more. pity he's stuck with the cosplayer without a cause, a few serial killers, and the successor to mojo jojo/satan/makuta/that red spirit from korra I'm never gonna remember the name of -- "the blood of the Burglar King flows in my veins" oh why did you have to go and say that? 'XDDD have it your way, ig

(midoriya's got another quirk coming in) Danger Sense? …not one I would've expected. would be kinda fun if it wasn't really any more powerful than Spider-Man's. something that's new, but that doesn't completely change deku's range of options like Blackwhip does

"Dabi and Long-Hair (?) are still in Spinner's scarf!" that is a cool extension to the trick, but does Spinner know that?

"we are retreating. I am paying the price of defeat." ig he's hoping that tomura ends up in the same prison as mojo jojo's body so the former can spring the latter? hell if I know. or maybe he's hoping that for the people he's leaving behind, anyway

(ig shigaraki got away?) they keep showing midnight's mask. still can't tell if she's dead tho

new OP time, huh

huh. mosquito fell for a trap. -- except he didn't really, aaand it backfired hugely

"the heroes' struggle was futile as shigaraki was awakened" it WOULDN'T have been, if dollar-store cyclops had been 0.01% less trigger-happy and been capable of following orders worth a damn

(recap gets to where jeanist shows up) dabi said "the body was real." …??? who did hawks kill. a stolen body from a morgue wouldn't have fooled them, would it?

"just under SEVENTEEN THOUSAND PEOPLE who were at the fight at the villa were arrested" jesus -- …sidetrack, I know, but: in 2022, Japan had about 41k inmates in prisons, and that number was down from previous years; in '13, they had about 60k. oh, don't worry, the US has over a million in any given year, obviously. just wondered. trying to conceive of huge numbers of people in any context is always, like… yeah

so midnight is dead, huh. and whoevertf majestic was

buh. recap episode dunt count. one more. for sake of mentioning tho, I did notice in the intro and outro that deku seems to have added… dammit, what's he called. the old guy. he added the old guy's yellow scarf. …this show has too goddamn many characters. twenty kids in class 1-A alone. TWENTY JUST TO START

new OP's kinda mumbly but wever, I don't hate it for that

prison guards bein prison guards, yup

oh dang, it's bakuswole

oh great, and moonfish 'XD that fuckin weirdo

ohai jeff, I keep thinking you're dead. guess not?

huh. chisaki. it's a daggone boss rush rushin' its way outta the slammer

(hopsidal) GRAN TORINO. okay fuck, he's named after a fucking car and a clint eastwood movie but there's no way in hell I was gonna remember his name, I was stuck on trying to remember the name of his quirk

…so wait. gran torino's yellow scarf is from shimura. deku's gonna start wearing the scarf bc of gran torino. and facing down shimura's grandson wearing it. …greaaat, well ig maybe that gives tomura something to latch onto and claw back control from all for one? but like. idk, still kinda fucked up

stopping here

[syyskirjat]

Sueños de piedra (ch2)

Still not sure if I'll read this whole book but I decided already that I want to at least read this one because I'm curious about what Lynne's deal is (especially having confirmed that she is indeed the "damsel in distress" who is haunted by her past)

(Her past being murder, apparently)

I'm hoping the magician/wizard character Hasan shows up too, I'd like to find out about him while I'm at it

I didn't mention this in the last post, but the chapters have these little ornaments at the beginning before the name of the POV character (the chapters are otherwise unnamed, it's like ASOIAF). Arthmael's was a crown, similar to the crown on the book cover but just tilted on its side and with an organic pattern behind it. This one seems to be coins. Is it specifically three coins? Maybe!

I remember seeing the full dust jacket design of the book having coins on the back cover, maybe these are the same coins

Three coins here too, so maybe the number is significant

The other thing of note here are the two figures on the coins, who are they? To me it looks like two princes facing each other, one maybe older than the other? This seems too early for them to have had time to mint new coins showing both Jacques and Arthmael so idk if it can be them? But maybe? This chapter could take place at a later date or something, I have no idea.

Or it could be the king and Arthmael, that would make sense.

(Sorry, this is how I blog about books, I pay too much attention to the details sometimes)

Anyways, onto the actual chapter!

...

.....

....... Welp

Okay this is going under the cut immediately

(Do we need a content warning already? I think we might, but I don't know how to word that exactly. In any case NSFW)

ETA: Yes we doooooooo, we do need content warnings: human trafficking, forced sex work, both involving a minor, including a scene with the victim and her victimiser having sex, physical abuse, also just straight up sexual assault towards the end

Lord Kenan collapses onto my naked body with one last grunt of pleasure. I feel his sweat sticking to the skin of my back and his hands still grip my hips tightly. I can only stare at the sheets, waiting for the moment when he pulls back once and for all and lets me move again. Let me leave your side. Let me be free, this time forever. Tonight was my last night. This will be my last time. Or so I want to convince myself.

Okay reading ahead, it sounds like Lynne is a sex worker, so I guess that's the context of the coins? Oh boy...

Lord Kenan is apparently not the worst client but clearly not her favourite either.

... Oh but he does hit her sometimes if she doesn't show enough enthusiasm, okay

Alright then.

Fourteen years. At fourteen years old he brought me to this damned place. On nights like this, I wonder how I've lasted so long.

Oh it's getting worse, great

I'm no longer excited about this chapter xD

Also I guess Lord Kenan is not a client then but a pimp?

Kenan likes them weak, submissive and sweet. Full of attention for him. I stopped being sweet a long time ago, although perhaps I have never stopped being weak. Maybe that's why I haven't run away yet. Because I'm afraid that what's outside is worse than what's here. But that's over.

Okay okay, realistically this chapter is gonna be her escaping right? Is Lord Kenan the guy she kills or did she already kill someone else? Are we about to witness a murder? I would not be opposed to it

His serious look makes me tense in my seat as he gets ready. His blue eyes have always been icy, although he often tries to melt them with the false warmth with which he treats all of us prostitutes, to make us feel that we are in a good place even if we live in hell.

He tells her that she's their most precious jewel and hopes that she's not boring their customers and then kisses her possessively. She finally snaps and says she's going to leave.

She also randomly starts wondering how old she is, I kinda feel like I might have missed something there, why she's bringing that up right now. But the point is that she thinks she's somewhere between fifteen and twenty.

He seems to think she just meant leave the room to see other customers but she clarifies that she means leaving the brothel entirely, for good.

His hand grabs my face again before I can do anything to stop it. Only this time it's not abrupt. It's sweet, tender. And that's almost worse than the violence he often uses. When he does this, when he smiles, when he caresses me as if he really cared for me, the more dangerous he is.

btw I'm skipping a lot of the details here, I'd just rather not djkghglkj

What is the alternative for a girl like you out there? Without property, without family, without money… You will do the same, charging less adn in any alley. Besides, that would be so ungrateful, Lynne… Who took you out of need when you were a bony, lost child, a thief who couldn't even put more than a couple of crumbs a day in her mouth?

They've had this talk before and Lynne has always caved in the end out of fear and shame but this time she decides to stay strong

But I'm not going to let it scare me this time. No. I can do great things. If I try hard, I can be the owner of my life. I can start my own business, just like my father once did, before he died. Maybe not in Silfos, where women don't have options, and much less will I have them, having been a prostitute. But Marabilia is a large continent: I will look for them in other countries and, if I don't find them, I will travel to other continents if necessary. I have heard that beyond our seas a woman can be anything she wants to be.

Okay so there might be other continents in this world where women have more opportunities, enough so that the people in Marabilia are aware of this, noted.

lmao, I fully thought this was an island not a continent. I swear the map looked so small! I think it's the style, with the towers and trees and mountains drawn individually, but of course they don't actually have to be to scale, I realise

Anyway, I'm now wondering if the title of the book is metaphorical and refers to the aspirations of the main characters? Not sure what the stone would symbolise, but it would make sense, especially with the dedication as well. Dreams definitely seem to be a theme

Lord Kenan mocks her and thinks she wants to find a wealthy husband to save her, asks her doesn't she already know what all men are like, having seen them visit her, etc.

In her mind she basically agrees that all men are like that but she doesn't want a man or a family

I don't aspire for anyone to love me. I don't aspire to love anyone either. Maybe I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, because I forgot a long time ago what it was like to feel affection.

Well rip

— Oh, little flower! Have you learned so little? Have I taught you that badly? Do you really have hope for something like that? I'm afraid you've read too many stories from exotic countries across the ocean. Here women are not queens, nor do you have rights beyond giving birth to our children. You are worthless without a man to protect you. And who is going to protect you if I don't?

Okay we're clearly not gonna be very subtle

She insists that she's going to leave and goes to put on her clothes but he assaults her and rapes her again, but she reaches under the pillow and stabs him with a dagger.

— I told you I was leaving here, I whisper to him. I open the window. I don't even look at Kenan again. I don't even worry about how long he will agonize until he finally gives up and dies. Arming myself with courage, I take the leap towards my freedom.

End of chapter two.

Ooookay. To be honest that went pretty much exactly how I expected it to go after finding out that Kenan was her pimp and not just a client.

I wonder if he's actually a lord or is that just his nickname? The consequences of the murder would definitely depend on whether he's an actual nobleman or just a random pimp.

Buuut yeah, idk, didn't enjoy this chapter so much ngl xD I much preferred making fun on Arthmael. But I guess it's over now so... idk, maybe I'll read at least one more

I do kinda have a hunch that this book is not gonna be my thing, but to be fair it hasn't really started yet