#and I'm writing a one shot where you know what's the bet they do lmao they fucked with my head

[luciehercndale]

Kell and Lila + Instagram (enlarge for better reading)

[visforvengeance]

un jour c'est toi que je partirai

Notes: Howdy! ok so this is a filler chapter. this was originally gonna be chapter 3 buuuut the way I started it wasn't matching how I wanted the chapter to end. so pls forgive me lmao. I wanted to get something out to you guys bc I know it's been a while since the last chapter. I still don't know if i want this series to end before the next season comes out or not but I'm def gonna keep writing itttt

Warnings: cursing? she/her pronouns. mentions of suicide, idk if this should be a tw but description of a panic attack, carmy is a perv in this lowkey. masturbation. when I said philip, i was totes talking about lip gallagher. not too much happens in this. please let me know if I missed anything and thanks for reading <3.

masterpost

“Mikey killed himself.”

He couldn’t do it. Where are you, Carmen? His brother’s funeral was today. You’re supposed to be here. He’s sorry, but he can’t. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? He still couldn’t believe it. Fuck, his chest was starting to hurt. He was getting sweaty, his hearing began to fade in and out, and he couldn’t breathe. He can’t fucking breathe. He can’t stop the tears or the sob that tore through him. It echoed throughout his apartment. Fuck this shit. 

He stood in disbelief as he looked upon the one restaurant that could have him shitting bricks. It looked old. And, familiar. And, not his, but absolutely fucking his now. Shit, he couldn’t fucking believe it. This fucking restaurant that haunted his dreams, that he spent his whole life chasing was officially his. He hurried to unlock the door and get inside. He hadn’t told anyone that he was back in Chicago. He wanted to embrace it on his own for a second. It still smelled the same, like Mikey and cigarettes, grease, bleach, and Mikey. 

He looked at the picture frames, news clippings, and awards scattered across the wall. He was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. He hadn’t set foot inside this place in two years, and now his brother is dead and he’s standing in his restaurant. 

He heard the bell ring and turned to see his big sister, “Carmy?” God, did he miss her. He missed them all, he really did. Even insufferable Richie and fucking Fak. And, Y/N. He hadn’t let go of the last conversation they shared. His one shot at true love and he’d gone and fucked it all. Whatever.

He walked over to Natalie, embracing her dearly. “Hi, sis.” He smirked at her as she gasped and swatted his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here? I would’ve gotten you from the airport,” she said with a frown. He shook his head as he waved her off. He smiled up at her, genuinely smiling. “I wanted to surprise you.” “Consider me surprised. So, had a chance to take a look around yet?” He sighed and shook his head. “James told me the store’s not really in good standing?” Natalie let out an exasperated sigh. “Fuck no. I don’t know what the hell Mikey has gotten himself into, Bear.” 

“You, uh, you know where he keeps the records and shit like that?” Natalie shook her head as she took a seat in one of the booths, “you’d have better luck asking Richie.” Ugh. Carmen loathed Richie. But, he tolerated him because he was family and Mikey’s best friend. “Have you seen him around lately?” “Yeah, I told him to meet me here so we could get a headstart on figuring out all of this shit.” Carmen sat in the seat across from Nat, “good. I bet he’ll have some idea.” Natalie nodded slowly as she thinned out her lips. “So,” she says as she clasps her hands together in front of her, “does Y/N know you’re here?” Fuck. She doesn’t know.

Honestly, he didn’t know if he should even tell her. Would she come to see him? Did he have a chance? He hadn’t seen or heard anything about her since Christmas dinner. “No, I haven’t spoken to her since Christmas.” He paused before speaking. “You know she told me she loved me that night?” Natalie had some idea of what was going on between them. Carmen, being the moody little brother he is, kept her out of his business as much as possible. And, Y/N tried to spare her the details for fear of grossing her out. 

“And, what did you say?” “That I loved her too.” For the first time, he was honest. So honest that it scared him. When he thinks back on that night, it almost makes him want to vomit. She felt bad for her brother, this need for Y/N but being unable to do anything about it was eating him up inside and anyone could tell that he wasn’t alright. Pair that with grief and an existential crisis, she didn’t know how he was managing. “How is she?” He knows Mikey’s death couldn’t have been easy for her either. “She’s..coping as best as she can.” He’d love nothing more than to be with her in moments like these, ones that you know you shouldn’t be going through alone. 

“She seeing anyone?” Carmen couldn’t help himself as he asked. Natalie hesitated before answering and that filled Carmen with such dread. “Um, some guy that she went to college with. I think his name is Philip?” He flinched like he was about to be hit. Now, he knows more than he’d like. “Are they like dating? Boyfriend and girlfriend?” Carmen wasn’t trying to pry information out of Natalie for his own personal gain, no way. He was simply inquiring about a friend. 

“Why are you asking?” Natalie was suspicious of the younger boy. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was planning to shoot his shot with Y/N (eventually). It’s about damn time. He shrugged, “Just curious.” She nodded, not believing a word he said. “As far as I know, they’re not too serious but definitely more than friends.” He could only imagine what that meant. Were they already having sex? That was not his business. He needs to get a grip on reality. He nodded and began to stand, just as he was doing so, Richie rushed inside. They hugged and began their bickering immediately after. Natalie just chuckled and walked away. 

Carmen was tired. So fucking tired. It hadn’t even been a full day and he’d endured so much bullshit. The ripping and running and trying to find a decent crew wore him out. He didn’t make it to his bed when he got to his apartment. Instead, he plopped down his couch. After a while, his mind drifted to her. He missed her. Fuck, when didn’t he? He found himself thinking about her constantly. What was she doing today? What did she eat? He was sure it wasn’t nearly as good as what he could make for her. She loved when he cooked for her, so he always did. Never did he allow her to even touch a cooking utensil. He never complained about it either. He loved it just as much. Maybe even more. 

Then, he began thinking about her warmth. He missed it so much that he craved it. It had been too long since he last felt her. Or smelled her scent. He wondered if her lips still felt or tasted the same. Was her skin still as soft as he remembered? Why the fuck is he doing this to himself? It was too late as he felt himself straining against his pants. 

He tried to ignore the lust that was creeping into his head. But, he couldn’t stop himself and he was getting harder the more he thought about her. She made him behave like a fucking pervert. He couldn’t take it anymore. He unbuttoned his pants and slid his hand inside his boxers. Pulling his cock out of his pants, he squeezed the base of it. This was fucking humiliating but it felt too good. He felt bad for thinking about her while doing this. But, he was doing it anyway.  He thought about her face as she was being pleasured, the sounds she’d make. He imagined it was him who made her cum. Just as she was beginning to reach climax, he was cumming all over his hand. He always came the hardest when he thought about her. The deep embarrassment was almost enough to make him never think about her like that, though. Almost. He cursed himself as he wiped his hand on his khakis. It was getting late and he figured he should get ready for bed. She never left his thoughts as he (finally) drifted to dreamland.

[rorywritesjunk]

(lmao I was given an idea and decided to go for it. I had fun writing Shanks as a teen boy.)

pt 1 + pt 2 + pt 3 + pt 4 + pt 5 + pt 6 + pt 7 + pt 8 + pt 9 + pt 10 + pt 11 + pt 12 + pt 13 + pt 13.5 + pt 14 + pt 15

pt 8

It wasn't Buggy and his captain that came through the door this time but someone else. A boy around Sunny's age with red hair and a strawhat on his head. He was with someone needing work done by Miss Pins, of course, why else would anyone come to the shop?

Sunny greeted them as she was told to do, asking what they needed help with as her boss came from the backroom. Just pants needing to be mended, length hemmed, and pockets needing to be fixed. Pants that have seen better days.

She looked at the boy who seemed to be watching her curiously. At this point Sunny was used to it.

"Do you need work done as well?" She asked politely. He shook his head, grinning widely as he leaned on the counter.

"How about you give me a tour of the town?" He asked. Sunny looked at him funny before looking back at her boss who was reaching for her shotgun.

"I have work to do."

"Aw, well, what about after?" He asked. Sunny didn't want to do that either.

"I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

"Work." She told him as she flipped through a few pages of the ledger, looking for the Captain's name as Miss Pins took down details of what he wanted. Sunny glanced at the boy again. He was leaning on the counter, grinning at her. What was with boys her age? Why were so many of them dumb? She found the Captain's name. "I have a boyfriend."

"Oh really?" He grinned. "Where is he? I bet he's some wimpy Marine."

Sunny shot him a look. "He's a pirate. Now if you're done bothering me I have things to do."

She walked away after that, not bothering to look behind her as she went to the backroom. Why did she say she had a boyfriend? Nothing was official with her and Buggy, they... They were just friends. Friends who liked each other. He was a friend who she held hands with and kissed his cheek and she was wondering if she was falling in love with him.

Ohhh she wished Buggy would show up and scare the boy off. She didn't want to deal with this for a week.

~

He showed up the next day nearing the end of her shift and Sunny ignored him. He even introduced himself, saying his name was Shanks. She intentionally didn't tell him her name but when one of Miss Pins' assistants called for her, it was all over. The dumb boy knew her name now.

"Wanna get some food when you're done for the day?" Shanks asked with a grin. "I bet you know all the best places to eat."

"No." She told him firmly. "I'm not interested."

"Aw, c'mon, we can just be friends! It doesn't have to be a date!" He insisted. Sunny rolled her eyes.

"I'm not interested in being friends either!" She told him. "Besides, my boyfriend could show up any minute. I would rather spend time with him, got it?"

"Where's your boyfriend then?"

"I told you, he's a pirate."

"And? What's his name?" Shanks grinned. "Maybe I've met him."

Sunny looked over at him with a frown. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell him Buggy's name, but at the same time she didn't want him to know more than he had to. She sighed.

"His name is Buggy."

The look on Shanks' face was of shock, confusion, and sadness, one after the other. Sunny had never seen someone change expressions that fast. The boy leaned on the table, smiling half heartedly at her.

"Blue hair? Red nose?"

Sunny blinked and nodded. "Yea."

"How's he doing? We used to be on the same crew."

Sunny looked surprised. "Really?" She paused, thinking back to when she first met Buggy, how hurt he had been. He only told her so much, about losing his captain, his friend, and his sister so quickly. He never mentioned names but she wondered if Shanks was the friend he referred to.

"He's doing well. I see him every few months." Sunny told him. "I last saw him a few months ago. He's smiling more."

"Yea? I'm glad." He grinned. "So, he got himself a girlfriend. That's something I didn't expect."

Sunny felt her face grow warm. "Okay, I may have lied a little bit. We... Aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. I just said that to have you back off."

"Ohhh, so what you're saying is you're single?" He grinned.

"N-No! We-We still spend time together when he visits and- and you know, if I tell you to leave me alone you should just do it, you pest!"

"I'm just being friendly!" He laughed. Sunny huffed in annoyance. "So, you two kiss yet?"

"Excuse me?!" Sunny turned red. "What is wrong with you? Why would you ask that?!"

"I'm just curious what he's been up to! I don't know if I believe a pretty girl like you would be friends with Buggy."

"Well we are, okay?! For a year!" She shot back, turning redder. This boy was getting under her skin. Normally something like this didn't bother her but he certainly was. "And I care a lot about him even if we aren't dating."

"So are you going to kiss him?" Shanks grinned. Sunny covered her face with her hands and shook her head.

"Why are you asking me that?! I don't even know how he feels about me!"

"Aw, I bet he likes you." Shanks reached out for her and she started to take a step back. "That necklace you got on. Did he give it to you?"

"Y-Yes." Sunny told him as she touched it. It was a little too clunky to wear sometimes but Sunny liked the weight of it. The pedant was a locket, the design on the front of some kind of sea king. Buggy said he found it and wanted her to have it. He didn't have a picture of himself to put inside it so he just wrote his name on a piece of paper and stuck it inside.

"See, the Buggy I know wouldn't normally let go of fancy things like that, but I'm betting after a year he's changed." Shanks grinned. "He must like you if he gives you things like that."

"You think so?" Sunny lifted the pendant up to look at it. "Really?"

"Yea! So you should definitely kiss him next time you see him." Shanna insisted. "Let him know you're serious! He's probably too scared to say anything. He's never had a girl as pretty as you around him."

Sunny wasn't sure if he was trying to flirt with her while also encouraging her to date his old friend. Maybe she should tell Buggy how she felt. If he didn't feel the same way then fine, she just would be sure not to be in the shop any time after that. But if he did...

"What do I even say to him?" She asked Shanks. "I've never done this before."

"As far as I know he hasn't either." Shanks told her. "And you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen and I bet you he thinks the same, so next time you see him just give him a kiss and see what happens."

That seemed... Like an okay plan. Sunny just wasn't sure when she'd see Buggy again.

[cringemesstickles]

Cat? What cat?

Summary: Jonah and Adam left the house, but Adam is frustrated about not knowing what’s in the basement.

Pairing: none

Word Count: 1,241

A/N: Finally finished one of my tmc fics!!! There are two or three little jokes in this one because I’m hilarious. Anyway, Adam totally didn’t go into the basement and I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I did write the ridiculous line I was talking about… so have fun looking for it lmao

———————————————————

Adam and Jonah stepped into their shared apartment after a long drive from the supposedly haunted house.

It took a lot of convincing to get Adam to come back to the car, but when he did come back, Jonah was more than relieved, even if Adam did pout for nearly the whole car ride.

The blonde flopped down on the couch with a huff, pout still glued to his expression.

Jonah, with hair more silver than silver, sat down next to him.

"I'm really happy you decided to come back with me, man." He said sincerely, patting Adam on the back. “I don't know what I would've done with myself if I had left you there."

The blonde nodded, avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah, I know… but I still wanna know what was in that damn basement… you should’ve heard it, dude, it’s like it was calling out to me!…" He groaned and buried his face in his hands, his frustration more prominent the longer he dwelled.

"I get it, man... but you can't mope about it forever."

Adam turned to glare at him.

"I can and I will, thank you very much.” He declared stubbornly with crossed arms. "Nothing can stop my pity party."

This gave Jonah an idea…

"Oh really? Are you sure? You know… I bet I can make you smile.” He said with a cheeky grin, one that typically spelled trouble.

The blue eyed boy furrowed his brows with confusion before scoffing, trying to appear unfazed.

“No fucking shot, Jonah. I’m gonna be pissed for as long as I want.”

This only made Jonah’s grin widen, a mischievous sparkle dancing in his eyes “That's a pretty bold claim for someone as ticklish as you." He smirked and watched Adam's eyes widen.

"D-Don't you fucking dare...” Adam warned, narrowing his icy blue eyes.

Jonah chuckled and swiftly leaped at the blonde, pinning him to the couch.

"Okay Adam… give me one good reason not to tickle you right now." He grinned and wiggled his fingers in the air, knowing that always got to Adam.

Adam's eyes widened and he crawled to the other end of the couch to get away from his mischievous friend.

“B-Because if you do, I’ll k-kill you!”

Jonah knew that was an empty threat, and he gave an amused snicker.

“Yeah, right! If you killed me, who would pull your dumbass out of stupid situations?!”

The blonde growled, though it wasn’t very threatening.

“S-Shut up! Get away!”

But it was no use.

Jonah knew what he wanted and he wasn’t gonna stop until he got it… and what he wanted was for Adam to forget all about that stupid basement!

And smile, of course.

With no further hesitation, Jonah struck, going straight for his friend’s ribs, wiggling his fingers sporadically across the tender spot.

This resulted in a girlish squeal that Adam would frankly like to forget ever happened.

“EEK- J-JONAH, YOU AHAHASS! STOP IHIHIHIT!” Yelled Adam, squirming helplessly under his friend’s playful assault.

The pleasant sounds only encouraged the sly attacker and he let out a snicker of his own.

“Nope! I’m gonna tickle you until you’re laughing so hard, you won’t even remember what a cat is!”

Adam tried to produce a threatening growl, but his vocal chords wouldn’t allow it, too busy producing the mirthful, boisterous laughter.

He moved like a worm on a hook, wiggling every which way; but no matter where he went, Jonah’s skilled fingers followed, merciless in their pursuit.

Said skilled fingers skittered up and down Adam’s sides, making him shriek and guffaw.

“NOHOHO, N-NOT THERE- GAHAHAH!”

The silver haired boy ignored his friend’s pleas, giggling and adding a couple playful pinches.

“Why not? Does it tickleeee?~”

Adam’s cheeks carried a rosy red hue, Jonah’s teasing tone flustering him to his core.

“S-SHUT UP! YOU FUCKING SUHUHUHUCK!”

Jonah gasped, pulling his hands away to place them dramatically on his chest.

“I suck?! I saved your ass, thank you very much!” He poked his friend in the stomach, causing him to squeak.

Both boys took this squeak very differently.

Adam, eyes as wide as dinner plates, slapped his hands over his mouth, his already flushed face taking on a whole new shade of red.

As for Jonah… his eyes were just as wide, his hand freezing in its place as he processed the girly noise his best friend had just made.

This bewildered expression was quickly replaced with a devilish smirk and he gave Adam’s stomach another poke, eliciting another childish squeak, much to Adam’s embarrassment…

“Adam… what was that?” Jonah asked, already knowing the answer.

Adam’s response was a hardly one at all.

“Uh- well- um…”

Jonah was heavily amused… he’d never seen Adam look so flustered.

“Adaaaam~” he sang, letting his hands hover just above the blonde’s stomach, watching for his reaction.

Adam’s squirming ramped up, flailing to try and avoid the attack.

“Jonah, d-don’t you fucking dare!”

“Oh, I think I will!”

With that, he snuck his hands under the fabric of Adam’s hoodie, digging into the soft flesh underneath.

Adam burst into shrill, boyish laughter, squealing and kicking his legs.

“NAHAHAH- JONAHAHAH!” He squawked, weakly shoving at the offending hands.

Jonah giggled with delight, finding the frantic reactions quite adorable.

“What’s wrong? Too ticklish? Hehe~”

Adam was, indeed, too ticklish.

He bucked his hips and shook his head, his messy blonde hair becoming even messier.

“J-JONAH, PLEHEHEASE! I CAHAHAN’T!”

Jonah slowed his fingers, giving his friend some momentary reprieve.

“Hmm… I don’t know, Adam… answer this question and I might let you go.” He smirked. “what’s a cat?”

Adam, still catching his breath, blinked with bewilderment.

“What?”

“You heard me! What’s a cat?”

Jonah slowly lifted Adam’s hoodie to reveal the pale skin, causing Adam to squirm more frantically.

“I-It’s an annoying animal with pointy ears that says meow!!!”

The silver haired boy gave a teasing smile.

“You still remember what a cat is?! I guess I have to tickle you even more!”

Before Adam could respond, Jonah bent over and blew a messy raspberry on his friend’s tummy, making him shriek and buck his hips.

After a few playful raspberries, Adam’s laughter was reduced to gasps and wheezes, his cheeks flushed and stained with mirthful tears.

Seeing his best friend couldn’t take anymore, Jonah relented, getting off of Adam and chuckling.

Adam wrapped his arms around his midriff, panting and giggling still, a big, goofy smile on his face.

For a few moments, the room was mostly silent, the only sounds being Adam’s breathy leftover giggles as he tried to catch his breath.

Finally, Jonah spoke up.

“So? How are you feeling?” He asked, an amused smile on his face.

The blonde initially wanted to glare and say something snarky, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Actually… much better.” He admitted, sheepishly looking away.

Jonah’s heart filled with pride, glad he was able to cure his friend of his grumpiness.

“I’m glad… now, why don’t we go do something that doesn’t have anything to do with stupid cat alternates?” He laughs, nudging Adam in the shoulder.

Adam laughed back, sitting up and swatting Jonah’s hand away.

“Sounds good to me.”

And so, the rest of their night was full of laughter, ridiculous conversations, and snacks.

And although Adam never figured out what was in that basement, he decided to get over it and move on, because Jonah was right…

He wasn’t invincible.

[crispy-bonnie]

Hi! May I please request a scenario when members of the Payday Gang met their s/o?

Here's how it goes: Business as usual one day, robbing and etc. They point a gun at s/o, but s/o is not phased one bit. Then, they tell s/o to open their bank account and give up all their money.

S/o does what they say, but then they see that s/o's balance is in literal negative numbers. Like -10,000+ s/o is broke as f***

Then s/o starts crying because they're so broke. How does the gang react?

okay i'm gonna add a few changes to the prompt but like hELLO I LOVE THE IDEA JAJDJSB

and also , these hc's will be written for the main four + bain rather than individual heisters , so apologies if it's not what you're looking for

oh and another thing , these are VERY poorly written bc i'm just now getting back into writing again lmao

You're broke as hell - The PAYDAY gang

I'm gonna tell you right now

The gang has absolutely no fucking clue what's comin'

All they know is that you have ties to someone/something important and they need to get the point across to whoever or whatever they're targeting

Bain figures that robbing you while you're at the bank would be the best bet. Plus, it could get them some extra moolah if they go after the vault too

What they don't know is that your ties to the fuckers their after only have to do with financial things

More particularly, money loaning

You couldn't seem to keep up with their demands for payment with your minimum wage job as well as your need for basic necessities, your bank account never having money because of it

As the place is being shot up, you're escorted to another room by Dallas where you're held at gunpoint to open up your bank account

And I tell you what, everyone, including the heisters, when they saw your bank account's numbers in the negative

And you're not even phased either

You just go 'Damn, sucks to be you'

You can hear faint sounds of Bain and the others speaking through Dallas's earpiece despite the gunshots and screams echoing through the rest of the bank

"The FUCK do you mean their account has no money!?"

"I don't know gang! I didn't see this coming at all! But we're not leaving empty handed! That vault still has a mountain of cash for you to take, so get to it gang!"

With one final look from Dallas through his American flag mask, he runs off and leaves you there, where law enforcement swoops in to get you outta there

Days later, you're scrolling through your email (which mostly consisted of threats from your loan sharks) and find an encrypted message from someone

Having nothing to lose, you click on it

It contains a cryptic ass message, saying that if you provide info about the loan sharks, they'll get rid of your debts and get you some sweet cash in your bank account

You knew damn well that this was that gang that robbed you days earlier, as your lack of money was only known between you and the loan sharks

Again, having nothing to lose, you accept the offer and give as much information has possible

Another couple days go by, and you find yourself finally freed from your debts, those threats coming to a sudden halt and your bank account suddenly having enough money to sustain yourself for a while

Even after the whole thing, when you're pretty much set for life, more surprises keep coming your way

You get raises in your paycheck, packages containing stuff on your wishlist end up at your apartment door, stuff that you typically considered a miracle

And you knew just who to thank for it all

[cha-melodius]

Hiii, congratulations on your milestones! I am not very good at prompts buuuut how about Napollya + some creepy abandoned house? Or a cemetery. Idk, it's not Halloween but I'm feeling spooky loool Feel free to go paranormal with it <3

(Outsmarted tumblr to answer this lmao. You said go paranormal and my brain said 'what about rival paranormal investigators??' Mark this down as another AU concept I never thought I'd write. Hope you enjoy it!)

chamel’s fandom fest info | read all the fics

The Harrowed and the Haunted

(napollya, 2.7k, T; read it below or on AO3)

The tiny blue car is already there when they arrive, tucked off to one side of the gigantic, decrepit mansion, and Napoleon swears under his breath.

“How did he even know we were coming here?” he complains. “No one knows this place.”

“Everyone knows about this place, Solo,” Gaby sighs from the passenger seat. “It’s a local legend. And you weren’t exactly subtle when you teased it as our next location in the podcast.”

Napoleon twists in his seat to look at her. “You think he listens to the podcast?”

She levels a look at him that he doesn’t know how to interpret. “You two are hopeless,” she says instead of answering him, then unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car.

She’s already elbows deep into the equipment by the time he walks to the back end of the car, so he elects not to push her on what she means. Besides, the one time he’d tried, she ended up on some long tirade about how they’re obsessed with each other and it would be funny if it wasn’t so frustrating and also if she didn’t have to listen to him all the time. To which he had responded that she’s his best friend and morally obligated to listen to him complain about his nemesis.

Also, he’s not obsessed with Illya Kuryakin.

Yes, Napoleon watches all the videos Illya posts and reads all the stories he publishes on his blog. Of course he does, Illya is the competition. Napoleon has to keep up with the locations he’s visiting and the kinds of footage he’s getting so that he knows how best to make his own superior content. Because Napoleon has a secret weapon that means his videos are always in better resolution, with wider shots so you can see that he’s not just using tricks, and his data are more robust. That secret weapon is Gaby and the completely bonkers ghost detecting equipment that she builds.

Napoleon had been a skeptic when he started doing paranormal investigation; his whole schtick was proving that there weren’t ghosts in the places where the other guys had recorded their sightings. Then he’d met Gaby at a convention and she’d bet him fifty bucks that she could show him a site that not only had ghosts, but also that she could prove it with hard science. He’d been intrigued despite himself, and their partnership was born. The friendship came about fifteen minutes into that first trip, when it became obvious that they shared a similarly sarcastic, dark sense of humor and brutally pragmatic outlook on life.

Together, they still spend the majority of their time proving that locations aren’t haunted, but occasionally things happen neither of them can explain. Not that he’s convinced that the explanation is actually ghosts, but it’s certainly something outside the realm of known science. With Gaby’s help, his business really took off: there’s the YouTube channel that he started with, but now they have a wildly successful podcast as well. The Discovery Channel has made overtures about a show. Things are good.

At least they are when Illya Kuryakin isn’t around.

Illya came out of nowhere with his blog Prizraki and a fledgling YouTube channel of his own. He shouldn’t have ever drawn an audience because he has zero camera presence, for all his good looks. He’s not even in his own videos all that much since he’s a one-man operation. But. The man can write. The way he crafts a story, the sheer atmosphere of it—he more than makes up for the shoddy camerawork and rudimentary editing. Napoleon had thought his work would be easy to discredit, but Illya is thorough. Meticulous. Irritating, especially when he anticipates Napoleon’s next move and makes it his job that much harder. Napoleon would swear Illya has it out for him specifically.

So yeah, they don’t get along. Their rivalry is well-known among the paranormal investigation community at this point. And if he spends an inordinate amount of time following Illya’s content, it’s only because he has to, professionally. He certainly doesn’t enjoy it.

They find the man himself on the second floor, apparently scanning one of the rear bedrooms. He’s hunched over his device, which is emitting a random-sounding beeping as he moves slowly across the room. Napoleon and Gaby had been led there by the readouts on their own equipment, although things start going all funny once they get into the room. Napoleon is pretty sure it’s just the interference from Illya’s shitty gear.

“Got tired of coming up with your own ideas, Peril?” Napoleon says as they walk in, the ancient floorboards creaking under their feet.

Illya doesn’t bother to look away from his scan. “Don’t know what you are talking about,” he mutters. He finishes a sweep of the far wall and pauses. “I have plans to investigate this property for months. Check my website if you don’t believe me.”

Napoleon doesn’t, because he’s read every word of that blog and he never mentioned this property. Not that he’s going to tell Illya this.

His nemesis finally straightens and turns toward them, his usual sour expression somehow failing to keep him from being ridiculously, irritatingly gorgeous. Napoleon would wager that at least half of his subscribers are only there for the occasional eye candy. And look, Napoleon knows his own looks bring him hits—leverages it, specifically—but Illya pretends to be above all that, which is annoying. After all, his numbers had shot up rapidly after that one video where he’d somehow ended up shirtless while investigating some kind of haunted bog (and if Napoleon had watched that one any more than the others, it was only because he couldn’t get over the idea of a haunted bog, that’s all).

“I take it you haven’t found anything yet,” Napoleon counters, looking around the room. It’s largely empty at this point, save for a massive wardrobe that’s probably too heavy to move, the florid wallpaper faded and yellowed by time and marked by no small amount of water damage. “Not that I fault you for that, given your equipment.”

“I have found plenty—”

“Solo,” Gaby interrupts. She’s across the room, and when he turns to look she’s tucking her own scanner away and sliding a hand over the seemingly featureless wall. “I think there’s something here.”

Jackpot. Napoleon quickly crosses over to where she stands and starts carefully inspecting the wallpaper, his competitor all but forgotten behind them. Well, almost. The seam is well hidden, but it’s there, and Napoleon feels out the secret panel within minutes. When a door pops open, he turns back toward Illya and smirks with immense satisfaction.

“What was that about finding things?”

Illya just about growls at him.

“Look, while you two have this little pissing contest, I’m gonna go get my auxiliary power block,” Gaby announces before they can get going again. “There are some really wacky readings going on here and I think I’m going to need the boost.”

With that, she disappears out the door, and a moment later they can hear the clunk of her boots on the wooden steps.

“So, you are planning on leaving, right?” Napoleon asks.

“I was here first,” Illya grits out, and then the asshole just storms right past Napoleon and into the secret passageway, like he has any right to it.

Napoleon follows him, because he can’t not. The passage is narrow, barely wider than the span of either of their shoulders, and nearly pitch black save for the illumination provided by their flashlights and the meager light that filters in from the main room. The house is enough of a labyrinth that it could go almost anywhere; it’s promising, for sure.

“Only because you knew we were coming here,” Napoleon calls after him.

Illya stops a short ways down the passage and turns to glare at him. “You cannot prove that.”

“And we found the secret passage,” Napoleon continues. “If we weren’t here you’d still be going around in circles, chasing your own tail.”

“The discovery was inevitable. Maybe you sped it along, but now you are just in the way.”

Jesus Christ, this is going nowhere. Fine, Napoleon can be the magnanimous one, especially if he can use it later to argue that Illya was unreasonable. “Look, you wanna investigate right now, be my guest, but you can’t be here when Gaby gets back. Your equipment causes too much interference.”

Illya hesitates a beat. “She said you were getting strange readings. What kind?”

“Like I’m going to tell you,” Napoleon scoffs.

“Did you have to learn to be this much of an asshole, or were you born this way?”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from the guy who—”

He doesn’t get to finish that thought, because suddenly it sounds like every door in the house slams at once, including the one to the bedroom that they’d left open. They both jump a mile, startled out of their skins, and Napoleon whirls to look behind him, though of course there’s nothing there.

“Wind gust?” he tries weakly.

He doesn’t even blame Illya for the exasperated look he gets in response. They both know there hadn’t been even a light breeze, plus, he can feel it. Illya probably can too. There’s something about the atmosphere that makes his skin crawl and his hair stand up on end, and as a professional ghost hunter, that’s not easy to do. He’s learned to trust his gut, and it’s telling him something is definitely hinky here. He walks back over to the door, but there’s no handle on the inside, which seems like poor design for a secret passageway.

“Not getting out this way,” he tells Illya. “Maybe the other side?”

“We don’t know where it goes,” Illya counters. “Should we not just wait for Gaby to return?”

He’s got a point, but Napoleon really doesn’t like being cooped up in here. He’s not claustrophobic, but there’s a closeness to the air that goes beyond what can be explained by the narrow space. Not that he’s going to let on what’s driving his decision.

“Wait if you like,” he says with a shrug. “I’m going to do what I came here to do.”

Except Illya is standing between him and the rest of the passage, which is really not large enough for the two of them to easily pass by each other. Still, there’s nothing for it; Napoleon starts walking toward him, assuming Illya will get out of the way, only when he’s less than a stride from the other man, he trips.

He’d like to pretend the floorboards were uneven, but it feels like something fucking winds around his ankle, effectively binding his legs and sending him sprawling into Illya. At nearly the same time, there’s a loud pop and the bulbs in both of their flashlights just about explode in a shower of sparks. The end result is that Illya is too surprised or too distracted to stay upright himself, and they tumble to the ground in a heap with none-too-few curses in both English and Russian.

“Get off of me,” Illya protests, trying to shove Napoleon away, and Napoleon would like to, truly, but one of Illya’s elbows caught him in the diaphragm and he can’t exactly breathe at the moment.

“Gimme a fucking minute,” he manages, trying to catch his breath while simultaneously ignoring how he’s managed to land pretty much astride one of Illya’s very muscular thighs. There’s not exactly a lot of room here for him to maneuver, anyway, and in the pitch dark the very last thing he wants to do is put a hand somewhere it shouldn’t go. He manages to fish his phone out of his pocket, hoping for an alternative light source, only to find it won’t turn on. “Damn. Phone’s dead.”

“Think it was an EMP,” Illya groans. “Will knock out—”

“I know what an EMP is,” Napoleon snaps, then he sighs heavily. “I don’t suppose you have a lighter?”

Illya doesn’t answer, but a moment later there’s a faint snick and a small flame flickers to life, washing the two of them and the passageway in a faint orange glow. It also reveals the deep scowl on Illya’s face. “Now will you get off?”

“Aw, but I was just starting to enjoy myself,” Napoleon teases. And then, because he can’t resist an opportunity to fluster the other man in any way possible, he gives his hips a little wiggle. 

Something flashes in Illya’s gaze, though he can’t quite read it in the flickering light. “Do not start something you do not intend to finish, Cowboy,” he growls.

Which is— Napoleon cannot have heard that right. He hit his head on the way down, maybe, except for the fact that he knows he didn’t; he landed on Illya’s ample chest, which he still hasn’t really moved from. Their faces are no more than a handful of inches apart. Illya takes a deep breath in and out under him, and the thigh between Napoleon’s shifts slightly. Napoleon licks his lips, and Illya’s eyes follow the movement.

“Who says I don’t?” Napoleon manages, his voice tighter than he’d like. “And what about you? I thought you hated me.”

“Too pretty,” Illya murmurs. “Annoyingly so. Anyway, you hated me first.”

Napoleon can’t help the soft puff of laughter that escapes him. “Gaby says I’m obsessed with you.”

“Is that so?” Illya asks with a smirk that Napoleon would kind of like to bite.

“I’m not,” Napoleon protests, but he doesn’t get a chance to get any more out because Illya tugs him down into a kiss.

Napoleon shocks himself by kissing him back, tilting his head until their mouths fit perfectly together, letting his arms go out from under him until his body is fully pressed up against Illya’s again. It’s hard and it’s fast and it’s filthy, and Napoleon can’t get enough of it. Illya’s hands go to his waist then slide down to his ass, which he grabs enthusiastically, pulling Napoleon’s hips closer as his rock up against Napoleon’s thigh.

He never thought— never let himself think— Fuck. He wants Illya Kuryakin so badly he can hardly breathe, which is a pretty fucking novel revelation right about now. He doesn’t even notice that Illya has dropped the lighter, plunging them into darkness, until there’s a loud creak outside the passageway and the door rattles in its frame.

They startle apart, or at least try to; Napoleon attempts a roll sideways, but there’s not really any place to go, so he just kind of ends up jammed next to Illya, his heart climbing into his throat because he’d maybe gotten so caught up in the moment that he’d forgotten that they’re in a fucking abandoned house that supposedly haunted, with actual weird phenomena happening around them, and he’d really rather not die—

The door rattles again, then swings open to reveal Gaby holding a lantern in one hand and her bag of equipment in the other. She takes one look at them and her eyebrows climb all the way up to her hair.

“Oh, thank god,” Napoleon exhales heavily. “You didn’t get hit by the EMP?”

Gaby frowns at him. “What EMP?”

“The one that exploded our flashlights and turned our phones into bricks.”

“That’s not how EMPs work,” she says flatly. “Care to explain how that relates to… literally any of this?”

Napoleon winces. “Not really?”

The look she gives him quite clearly says that he’s not getting out of any part of said explanation, even if she’s willing to let it go for the moment. “So. Ghosts?”

“Apparently so,” Napoleon groans as he attempts to extract himself now that he can actually see where he’s going.

“And we’re… collaborating?” she asks, looking pointedly at Illya.

Napoleon glances over to find Illya staring at him uncertainly, which is probably fair considering they’ve discussed precisely nothing about this. Still. He looks back at Gaby.

“Apparently so.”

~~~~~

(The Haunting of McAllister Mansion is their first joint video, published simultaneously on both channels; it breaks all their previous records for views, likes, and comments.

The latter are split between people confused because they were sure Napoleon and Illya hated each other, and those who just comment: called it.)

[halleyuhm]

Trick or treat!!!!!!! - @maddstermind

You've got a treat!

Here's a chat scene from Route LXVI. I had to ultimately put it aside because it was not progressing the plot in an already slow chapter, but it was fun to write, and it worked as a great character study. Plus, it marks the beginning of Liv's worst lie~~

The layout is a bit weird because I normally write my chats adjusted to the left or right according to who is talking. Here in Tumblr it's a bit different. Bear with me. There it goes:

You:

Hey remember this convo from the neolitic era

Image

Image

Image

Highzs🎱:

LMAOOO where did you find this?

You:

Image

Image

Got them by digging in ancient discord convos

Highzs🎱:

Damn I didn't know grammar

That youre is killing me

You:

Aw I think you were trying to spell cool

like pot8os

Highzs🎱:

pot8os I'm deceased

You:

When you used to write everything wrong on purpose

Highzs🎱:

to mess up with you

so you wouldn't know when I actually spelt something incorrectly due to me being an idiot

You:

being dyslexic is not cinamons with being and idiot

Highzs🎱:

Synonyms*

You:

I did it on purpose!

Highzs 🎱

You are missing an n too

You:

I don't rely on the autoccorrect

Highzs 🎱

Such a helpful tool, though

Could have saved me some misunderstandings

You:

HAHAHAH

LOWZS I JUST REMEMBERD

That one time you told us that you were sick

Highzs 🎱

HAHAHAH NOOOO

You:

YOU TOLD US YOU HAD ANIME

And I spent the whole afternoon searching "anime illness" on Google

and getting top tens instead of answers

Highzs 🎱

HAHSHHSHS SORRY

But that's the reason you finally watched Your lie in April, so worth it

👉👉

You:

👉👉

Probably my fave dyslexia moment

Highzs 🎱

And meanwhile Soda like

Sucks dude, wanna play some Smash until you get better or

You:

HAHAHAHAH

I distinctly remember the moment you said you just needed iron and he went like what

Highz 🎱

He still teases me about it

Did you know that

In those screenshots you sent

In that conversation

I was kinda

Hinting

Towards him

You:

WHAT

I JUST CHIKES WHAT

Highzs🎱:

WHAT??

You:

CHOKED

I'm rearesding everything

Highzs🎱:

Hahaha really???

Ok you are

Hey runt come back down

You:

I'm back

Dammit Lou

I'm going to be so honest

During that whole conversation

I thought you were talking about me

Highzs🎱:

HAHAHAHA I KNEW IT RUNT

The moment you said

"You know you could tell me anything right?"

You:

I was so abviously trying to ease you idiot

I wanted to be a good friend regardless of the feeling situation

I was so off though, damn

Highzs🎱:

Awwww that's so sweet

I actually did like you for a while though

I was pretty confused

You:

Haha no bet

I'm glad you told me <3

Even though I already knew it lmao

Highzs🎱:

Me too

Now

*uno reverse card*

Tell me who you were referring to

You:

NO SHOT

Highzs🎱:

As that written statement proves

We made a promise for a 50/50

Anytime one of us confesses, the other has to do so

You:

Yeah ._. but I wanted to talk about the present, not the past

Highzs🎱:

The present? Weren't you with Percy?

You:

Uhm I could be poly

Highzs🎱:

Alright, intriguing

But first things first

Years later I'll know who you were referring to in that convo

You:

Man, you already know

Highzs🎱:

Say it

Saaaayyyy it

I'm waiting

You:

Man we were rivals and didn't even know it

Highzs🎱:

Nameeeee

You:

Good grief

It was Soda

Highzs🎱:

WHAT

You:

Don't act surprised you knew it

Highzs🎱:

Okay runt

Why did you never tell me

You:

You've activated my trap card!

Same question back to you

Highzs🎱:

Sexuality struggles plus one of the pivotal points was you

You:

I didn't expect a sound answer

Highzs🎱:

You?

You:

Struggles

Highzs🎱:

Fair enough

You:

I'm returning now to compensate though

I didn't send the screenshots for nothing

If you will also tell me your name, of course

Highzs🎱:

That's the promise we made so

You:

100%?

Highzs🎱:

Cross my heart and hope to die

On three?

You:

Uhh nice

On three

1

Highzs🎱:

1

You:

2!

Highzs🎱:

3!

I like Maeve

You:

I think I like Gray

HWAT

Highzs🎱:

What?????

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

hi reading log #4

Cell of Empireo [up to the end of chapter 6 (arrival point s)]

GOOD LORD. this game has made me make so many noises outloud

gameplay wise its kinda interesting that they opt to have no music in a lot of parts n i feel like i'd get super lost if i was playing myself but i'm watching a translation so watevar the other stuff is more important

it's a 2018 game (i'm pretty sure?) but it reminds me sooooooooo much of 2012 rpg horror games n i say this positively n there's not that many eng fans either so it's like a game w an old soul to me lmao

also i NEEEED that official physical book to get restocked so bad i'm subscribed to sharktale factory's pixiv fanbox n everything now

here's some of my livetweeting

------------------ spoilers for coe up to chapter 7 start here ///

this game really got me thinking at points. i like how i was able to figure out shinano was origin b without/before karen's hint, the twist w reiji n haruki made me go Whoa (it also made me scared of the fandom bc :/ )

i bet my ass kanou has some kinda fucked up cell powers like there's no way he's dead but there's also no way he just faked his death istg i saw him get shot in the head. + BLOOD LOSS.

i think shinano might be my fav rn my normal dog boy

/// spoilers for coe up to chapter 7 end here ------------------------

Boogiepop [book 2, ch2]

once again slowly chipping away at boogiepop

i drew comparisons to the phantom anime again; the situation with the flowers in the novel sounds very similar to the situation with the spiders in the anime at least on the surface. maybe it won't have the same outcome for atsukai but tbh i feel like he's gonna die?

also there's a guy named spooky electric. huh

Umineko

i haven't actually played since my last session but seeing certain vague spoilers makes me wonder wtf is gonna go down in this game like what do you mean the "your mom" thing is real. n battler tells beatrice to kys in some translations??? i need to get to the point where this lady finally shows her face already

Other things

during steam sales months ago i got this one vn on an impulse n i can't remember if i ever mentioned it here n i kinda gave up at some point

i didn't wanna use the full cover image bc!@#@$%

i wish i could find a game like this except w better art + writing n a protag who is just as old (n not a girl?)

n i know gay romance vns w Oldmen exist but the kind i'm looking for is so SPECIFIC n i haven't found it yet put a guy who looks like fgo james moriarty or schwartz alchstars in there. gimme dateable kaburagi kotetsu or like. that oden guy from the pillow boys. u feel me

[lilalbatross]

5, 10, 15, 16, 19, 27, 29, 30 for the ao3 ask meme <33

oh boy okay here we go

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

definitely Anything for you, my Shoresy fic. teeny tiny fandom for a weird niche canadian hockey comedy, but the response i got was really lovely and it's somehow in my top 5 for kudos, comments, and bookmarks. that was the first thing i posted after a couple brutal months for mental health and writers block, so those comments and stuff are really special to me

and then a special mention to chapters 6 and 7 of Austin Alone because people came fucking flying out of the woodwork to scream at us within the first couple hours of posting lmao i don't think i'll ever see anything like that ever again

10. What work was the quickest to write?

oh hands down it's What the fuck is with the spatula?, which i wrote in a single 4ish-hour sitting and a lot of that time was spent rewatching the Are You The One? ep they're watching so i could get the sequence of events right lmao. look, i just have a lot of feelings about drunk idiots brute forcing their way through complex probability with a spatula, and i needed to project that onto my otp

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

dragging the carcasses of so many half-written fics, but trying to actively work on Acesodyne, which is a billy x owen post-1x07 multichap canon divergence about injury and music and grief and healing and i’m trying not to let it spiral out of control and it may not ever get posted even if i do finish it but hey we’ll give it a shot.

also determined to actually finish Downpour, which literally started as just “i bet if they stood in the rain Billy’s hair would get in his face and it would be cute and Owen would kiss him about it” and somehow turned into a bit of a trauma and body worship thing??? idk don’t ask me i don’t have any answers but i do have a 2.5k partial draft that i should put some hours into

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

lol it's "Established Relationship" from all my billy x owen oneshots where they're together at the start and i'm not giving you all the fucking backstory for how that happened, just jump in and we're off.

(...but also you and i know that the "how that happened" is usually Austin Alone if people know what details to look for lmao)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

i don’t see myself drifting away from billy x owen any time soon, so definitely gonna keep thinking about those bastards more than literally anybody else in this fandom (except you lol). i also want to do more Shoresy/Goody. i wrote the one oneshot, but i have a multichap outline that needs some massaging and i think could be interesting. and i get to slam more canadiana into fic, which i really can’t do when all my other shit takes place in texas lmao

and then i’m sure i’ll get surprised by a pairing and end up spitting out something isn’t even on my radar yet. who knows, maybe i’ll finally find a Ted Lasso pairing that i want to write about. Colin and...[insert name here idk we’ll see but if i write about anyone it’ll probably be Colin]

27. What do you listen to while writing?

*gestures vaguely at my entire spotify wrapped* no but seriously. depends on the fic but i’ll generally have a playlist, album, or even song that i loop for each fic. sitting there long after midnight had a very angsty playlist. touch the sky and bite the asphalt was Maneskin’s album Teatro d’ira hence the fic title. i’m pretty sure with a gift for burning was Let Me Drown by Orville Peck. Acesodyne’s playlist is heavier on acoustic guitar/pop-punk because it’s a lot of songs that i know how to play on guitar so i can connect a physicality to what i’m trying to write

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

gonna resist every bone in my body that wants to be self-deprecating and couch this with all the weaknesses i see etc etc. big fan of this paragraph from with a gift for burning:

So many voices he wants to hear tonight. Numbers he knows by heart, burned into his muscle memory and connected to nothing. Harkes’ line had stayed in service the longest. Nobody canceled his contract, and it rang to voicemail for months before the unpaid bills piled up and his line was cut off. Billy called, again and again on bad nights, until his mouth shaped the words in time with Harkes’ rhythm. “Yo, it’s Jake. Leave a message if you want, but you should have just texted.” The last time he called, a confused teenage girl picked up and Billy threw his phone against the wall.

I was a little drunk when i wrote it, and then when i reread it i immediately had a moment of “oh :(” and then i knew i was onto some shit and it helped me break the direction the rest of the fic was gonna go lol

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I did not expect my stuff to steer so hard into angst quite as much as it does???

but also in some ways biggest surprise was just that i...can... (don’t look at me)

send me ao3 wrapped questions if you want

[elliebartlets]

7.22 Tomorrow

***This is long but I don’t care cause it’s my last one :(

Episode:

• ha what election? (I saved this episode for tonight. Although watching the predictions and numbers is kind of addicting, I need a break from it.)

• lol those opening shots of DC were like the kinder version of house of cards

• “You did a lot of good, Jed.”

I always thought that was sweet but didn’t the administration accomplish a whole lotta nothing?

• oh just pardon the lady who did weed!

• “Mrs. Bartlet and I gotta hitch?”

“Hike up that skirt, you’ll do fine.”

• “You’re gonna do great Josh. You don’t need me.” 😫

• “Nancy how’s your mother doing? Tell her I’m looking forward to seeing her again soon.” Lmao

• Debbie watching Bartlet take his sweet time writing the letter is killing me she’s so exasperated

• absolutely screaming at the fact that I was in that hallway and room that Abbey and Bartlet are in

• I wonder where they shot the inauguration scene

• the Oval Office getting cleaned out always made me sad

• Abbey looks kinda annoyed. and she started clapping after the rest of them lol I bet she’s zoning out

• aw Debbie

• that ain’t Evelyn Baker Lang

• the OG staff that stayed on are Sam Josh and Donna. Everyone else is moving on

• nothing against Ronna, I like her fine, but I just can’t believe she’s taking over Mrs Landingham and Debbie’s job

• “Where’s Mrs. Bartlet?”

“Already inside the car.”

aksjs I just love how quickly Abbey wants to leave. She said “yeet” and went for the car and didn’t even say goodbye to the Santoses

• “What in the world was he trying to prove by not wearing an overcoat?”

Hm maybe that’s why she didn’t wanna say goodbye

• CJ going into the press room for the last time

• Is that Barney from parks and rec?! Omg it is!!

“TED!!! GET IN HERE!!!”

• ok but why does the first lady’s cheif of staff have a much larger office than the presidents cheif of staff? Donnas office is huge compared to Leo’s/CJ’s. Is the East wing bigger?

• wait I wanted to see what Bartlet wrote to Santos!

• “Do you work in the White House?”

“No. No I’m sorry I don’t.”

Ugh my heart

• ok I didn’t cry again!! I’ve only cried at this episode the first time I watched it

Podcast:

• guest stars: basically the entire west wing cast

• This podcast was 2 hours long so please just bear with me. also this episode was filmed January 2020. This year. That feels like forever ago.

• The finale was watched by 10 million people

• “Martin, could you tell us a little bit about what it was like working with Stockard Channing? The dynamic that the two of you have on screen is...”

“My only disappointment working with Stockard is that she did not like one of my favorite movies, Grease. It was a forbidden topic. I don't know why, but she didn't like the movie, she didn't like herself in it.”

“She was terrific.”

“I thought so too. Maybe she'll get this message.”

• He also suggested Mia Farrow for the role of the First Lady.

“Yeah, she was my first choice.”

“This is going to be great for Stockard. It’s just going to be...I mean, you got bigger problems than Grease now.”

“I'm done.”

Lmao first of all that conversation was hilarious and second of all Grease isn’t my favorite movie but Stockard Channing is the reason I watch it everytime sooo 🤷🏽‍♀️

• The scene with Santos and Helen exiting the building and walking across the street was shot in front of Blair House, one of the guest houses of the President used to host visiting dignitaries and other guests. They were only allowed to step in the doorframe and then step out and walk down the steps.

• Josh: *asks the audience a question about Downtown Abbey*

Audience: no response

Josh: You guys watch any other TV?

Lmao

• oh my god Allison Smith (Mallory) is a singer!? she played Annie on Broadway (“I only do finale’s named Tomorrow, apparently.”) and just sang the chorus from tomorrow and I wasn’t expecting that at all

• “I could not imagine not pardoning Toby, because I don't think Richard would have ever spoken to me again.”

• Bartlet’s final stroll around the West Wing was the final shot

• “I thought the most ambitious scene was where Bartlet's walking and mentioning everyone by name. I was like, anybody who writes that scene for Martin Sheen is a brave writer indeed.”

“I will just mention that earlier tonight – sorry– sorry, Mr. Sheen – he did forget Aaron Sorkin's name. He referred him as the guy who created it.”

“I'm kind of glad that I only did one other of these.”

• “I wanted to ask about acting beside your daughter in The West Wing.”

“Renée–”

“Renée, I know.”

Lmao

• he enjoyed working with his daughter and hopes she did too (she never talks about it lol)

• There was a deleted scene where Will had to leave a note for Lou who was coming on to be the new Press Secretary and had a hard time figuring out what to leave her.

• JOSH: “I remember one of the strongest memories I have of this final episode, is what I think was the final scene, and everybody clapping and surrounding Martin after finishing the final take. And I remember kind of backing up and feeling, even though it was very special and I was moved, but I felt like it was other people's moment. The people who had been there from the beginning.”

MARY: “Yeah, I just felt lucky to–”

JOSH: “It was their very special thing, and I was happy to be even peripherally involved.”

BRAD: “And it was–”

JOSH: “Shut up, Brad.”

Lmao

• There was a scene right after Bartlet gives Charlie the constitution where Bartlet leaves the building and everyone applauds, but it was cut.

• The inauguration scene was a platform built in the parking lot of Warner Bros. studios.

• Aaron Sorkin had an office on the Warner Bros lot and they asked him that day if he wanted to be in the inauguration shot.

• The way Aaron planned on ending the series was having Bartlet leave the White House gates and dissapear into a crowd of people walking on the street. (Would that have actually worked? Wouldn’t people recognize him and he’d be flanked by secret service?) He told Eli Attie this a few days before he wrote the episode Red Mass, which has Senator Stackhouse walking into a crowd.

• Eli Attie suggested the final scene of the show, after showing Bartlet’s final scene, should be a sort of a hard cut to the Oval Office with no music, and military advisors leaving, and Santos behind his desk and him turning to Josh and saying, “What's next?” And then hard cut to black.

• Despite being known as Aaron’s idea, the walk and talk was created by Tommy Schlamme.

• Al Gore called Sorkin to recommend Eli Attie as a writer. Oh just kidding Eli emailed Al Gore telling f him he really wanted the job and gave him talking points of what to say

• NBC originally wanted the show to have more drama and action.

AARON: “You might remember from the pilot that Cuban refugees, on rafts, are trying to make their way the ninety miles to the coast to get here. Warren Littlefield and the NBC executives wanted Josh to basically swim out after them and rescue them, like really rescue them.

BRAD: “Like Rahm Emanuel in a Speedo.”

RICHARD: “Which explains why they didn't want Toby.”

• “The pilot originally ended with the line, “Thank you, Mr. President.” Ok. Bartlet said, “Josh, don't ever do it again.” Josh said, “Thank you, Mr. President,” and left, and we fade it to black and we rolled credits. And it was Tommy who said, “You know, I just, I feel like we should get the sense that life goes on.” And perhaps it was because I had no idea what episode two would be and I didn't want life to go on, I was resisting that. And anyway, that's where the line ��What’s next?” comes from.”

• Sorkin didn’t notice Richard’s wedding ring until they were shooting the pilot. He told Richard he didn’t think Toby was married and Richard said he wasn’t. Sorkin then asked him why he was wearing a wedding ring. Richard said “it’s for you to figure out.”

Richard himself had decided that he had been married but lost his wife, which gave him a dark drive to be focused on work. He didn’t tell Sorkin his idea (“I – that actually would have been pretty good”) so Sorkin came up with the idea for him to have an ex-wife.

First of all wow I wonder what the show would’ve been like if off the bat, Toby had a wife who died. And secondly I love the lack of communication between them lol

• Allison Janney isn’t there but called Melissa’s phone to say hi! (And then proceeded to ask her where she left the key lol)

• People come up to ask Marlee Matlin and ask her why Joey didn’t get to hook up with Josh

• Sorkin was planning on killing off Andy. Kathleen York had no idea until Richard told her “I’m really glad after you had the baby that you made it.”

“Perhaps there was a discussion. Look, once I killed Mrs. Landingham, nobody was safe on the show anymore.”

“So, thank you for letting me live.”

• The scene in the episode Five Votes Down where the staff is walking down a stairwell into the hotel kitchen involved 11 takes, a grease fire, and a cameraman falling down the stairs.

• At the time, The West Wing set was the largest set ever built for TV.

• Janel Maloney didn’t quit her waitressing job until season 2. She was being hired episode to episode as a guest actor and didn’t know when her last episode would be.

• BRAD: I have a very clear memory of, I remember they said “Cut,” and I walked over, I think you were at the monitor. And I was like, “I love her.”

• oh my god they almost had a Halloween episode?!?

Kevin Falls pitched the idea five times to Aaron whenever an episode was going to air the week of Halloween. Dee Dee Myers told him the White House Press Corps brings their kids in to trick or treat.

“And I thought, “All right, well, there's something in that. Like, what if Bartlet is just Scrooge about Halloween? Like he doesn't get it. He thinks these kids are little thieves coming in for candy, and he's going to lecture them about like the true meaning of All Hallows Eve, and Ichabod Crane or something like, that'll be a funny cold opening, and that’s all I’d need to start if I can just – if I could just hand these guys eight pages tomorrow, I'll be happy. I don't have to know what's going to happen in the rest of the episode.”

That was on September 10, 2001. God that’s depressing.

I like the idea of Bartlet lecturing the kids because that’s what he does best, but I’m not sure I see him being a Scrooge, especially to kids since there’s that one scene where he greets a bunch of schoolchildren and he’s so good and funny with them.

• They filmed in DC two or three times a year for exterior shots.

Some stories they shared about DC:

~ The former NSA director of Bill Clinton’s called Sorkin to his office and wanted to know why there was no NSA on the show, which is how Nancy McNally became a character.

~ On his day off, Richard got a phone call from the White House Chief of Staff asking if he would host the National Breast Cancer Coalition at the OEOB.

~ Another time he was at a brunch with famous Washington people when General Alexander Haig, the former Secretary of State, walked up to him, his eyes boring into Richards, and said “I find your show eerie” and walked away before Richard could say thank you.

~ While filming Noël, Brad was allowed to go in and out of the White House gate for the last scene. One time he was walking in with Josh Bolten, the Deputy Chief of Staff and the secret service let Brad in, but stopped Bolten and searched his bag.

~Aaron Sorkin didn’t go to DC during the filming of Noël because his daughter was born. Tommy Schlamme got the choir, who sings outside the White House at the end of the episode to sing a Hebrew lullaby which translated to “welcome little princess”

This story by Brad which was too funny to put into words

Well that’s it. Dang I’m kinda sad the podcast is over. Also no more long posts about the west wing from me (which is why I don’t feel bad that this is so long.) the last time I rewatched the show and made posts about it, I told my self the next time I rewatched the show, the posts wouldn’t be as long...yeah that didn’t work out. Anyway hope y’all enjoyed this I will still post about west wing just not obnoxiously like this :)

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Ngl whenever I see OC asks I'm tempted to just ask all of them lmao

Buuut, let's see... from the OC creation asks, maybe 12, 15, 19? And for the other one, 1, 8, 52, 69? For any OC you'd like ~

I’m not shitting you when I say, DO IT. 

It’s my favorite time of the day~! Do you think I’ll ever shut up? Not likely, so let’s gooo! >:D 

***

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

You know, I always think about this to be fair because it’s something that can be a bit of a block for me when writing any of my OCs since they’re all really different personality wise. Fane, in particular, is a bit of a challenge. Especially when it’s not his POV. He’s hard to explain at times, and it’s why I take so long to create one shots or chapters because I want to make sure I’ve been as clear as possible with him or how other’s perceive him. I have to think in my head, ‘How would such and such really feel about Fane’s personality? How would they respond to his outbursts or his views on the world?’ It takes a lot of reviewing banter from Inquisition and seeing how characters interact with one another for me to confidently piece together dialogue in regards to Fane, and at times, my mind wanders into non canon territory to where I then have to yank it back. Fane lets my mind explore, but the wanderlust gets to be a bit..much. I think so, at any rate. Lol. 

On a more personal level, Fane is also me, in a way. He’s a persona that allows me to express what I tend to go through mentally at times. While it’s a sort of comfort for me to get things off my chest through him, I also have to take a step back and breathe, especially if my mind that day isn’t in the best of places. I mean, I want to write during those times, but it can be incredibly difficult to formulate words with enough sensitivity so it doesn’t hit too hard for anyone else and come off wrong.

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 

I’m gonna use Estoria for this because one thing I’ve created with her always makes me smile and giggle like a madman. That thing is, is the fact that she’s a flirter, but if it’s directed at her then she’s a bumbling fool. She’s all miss big bad mercenary elf until someone says, “You’re eyes are truly a delight.’ and then she just laughs nervously and nearly crumbles into a ball at their feet. 

And you bet your ass that Solas’s smooth talk kills her to where she actively has Cullen syndrome and runs away--tripping and stumbling over her own feet because she can’t. Then, when she does manage to get away she just sits on the floor and goes with all the enthusiasm of a teenager, “He..he thinks I’m graceful? He thinks I’m graceful!” Then she just rolls around on the floor, kicking her legs like a happy little flower. :3

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

That Fane has a sweet tooth. Hands down. Man becomes a literal puppy around cake, cookies, anything sweet. I have it in my fluffy little head that he swipes those things from Skyhold’s kitchen without anyone seeing because he’s embarrassed. He’ll try to be all sneaky and slick, but someone always stumbles upon him stuffing his face and then..well, you know. Fane becomes Aterian and Solas has to be called to tame a dragon before the walls come down. *smiles pleasantly*

1.  What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

We’ll go down the line for this one!

Fane is ‘Tempest’ due to his ‘calm before the storm’ demeanor when in battle. Varric gave it to him when he saw how fast Fane could move despite his size, and how hard he could hit once closing in. He’s literally a lightning bolt as he’s never in the same place twice and he does it all without batting an eye like how a real storm can destroy everything in its path, but when the clouds part, it’s calm, controlled without a shred of guilt towards the wreckage.

Estoria is ‘Snapdragon’. He adoptive father gave it to her as a sign of affection and to let her know that she is strong, even if the world believes she’s just a delicate little flower to be set on a window and forgotten. It also came about whenever he saw just how fierce a fighter she could be and how passionate she would get towards specific topics--’snapping’ like a dragon does with their treasure hoard or young. 

Mhairi is ‘Snow bird’ or ‘Fawn’. Courtesy of Varric and Dorian! Snow bird is Dorian’s nickname for her and it’s mainly due to her proclivity towards ice magic. Fawn is Varric’s choice due to how wide eyed and curious Mhairi is, like a newborn fawn discovering the world for the first time.

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

This is Fane’s. Fane’s, Fane’s. Only because I have so many thoughts about his voice that I have to try to explain it! All right, so his voice is deep, obviously. However, it’s gruff, it’s tired, and it rumbles like the softest of thunder. You can take the man out of the dragon, but you can’t take the dragon out of the man. He always has a slight growl to his voice, even if he’s not irritated. He does have an accent, more or less along the lines of what the game gives us, but it’s deeper, has more timbre and husk to it. It drops dangerously low when he’s furious--almost warbling with the natural growl. It jumps a slight octave when he’s flustered--sometimes cracking on specific syllables. When he speaks Elvhen though..well, let’s just say Solas has an existential crisis to where he blanks for a good twenty seconds because how the words just roll near perfectly from a deep, deep, near criminally seductive grave. It’s a good time. *waggles eyebrows*

52. What are some of your OC’s motivations?

Oh god. Well, it is time to try and explain why Fane does the shit that he does! Namely, why the hell he supports the destruction of the Veil, even if he knows it could kill people he loves.

One: Fane is heavily devoted to Solas. Centuries of bonding and losing each other does that, after all. He strives in every fashion to lessen the burden on Solas’s shoulders because he’s seen it happen before. He’s seen and felt Solas practically scream for an end. So, he refuses to abandon him again to that torture, even if he has to bloody his hands from those he had come to consider friends. It’s a difficult road for both of them, but Fane tries to keep a tiny shred of hope in his heart that everything will be okay in the end--that they’ll be okay. He just wants to protect Solas with everything he has, even if it brands him a monster. So, in a way, Solas’s continued presence motivates Fane to keep pushing, even if it’s indirectly.

Two: Fane is passionate towards his kin. He wants to free them from the world they are forced to endure. Another reason for why he supports Solas beyond their close bond. He knows that dragons are needed for the world to survive. So, the thought of his kin being able to show what they are truly made to do is what guides him to endure a lot of the heart break and a lot of the words that are eventually hurled at him. It doesn’t make fighting them any easier though.

Three: Fane is heavily mired with family or those he considers family. He took Mhairi’s place in his father’s experiments because he wanted to protect her, not himself. He throws himself in front of blades, magic that’ll make him ill, and kin bearing claws just to keep those close to him alive because he can’t stand the thought of their eyes going dead and grey. He doesn’t want to kill; he wants to preserve, even if eventually, he’ll have to turn his back because of necessity.

69. What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather?

Fane likes snowy, cold, frigid weather. He was a snowy dragon. Who lived on mountain. Had ice in his lungs. Boy melts in the desert, trust me. Besides that, he just likes the way the world looks when its blanketed with snow and ice. It’s still and quiet. Those aren’t things he’s used to, so he greedily indulges in them when they’re present.

Estoria is the opposite. She loves the heat, but primarily she loves rain. She’ll stand out and just look up at the sky with a huge smile on her face--completely unconcerned that she could get sick. All because it reminds her that the world is still moving along, even if the people in it believe it’s not. It’s still growing, flourishing, thriving, and that gives her comfort and joy.

***

Wowee! That was a lot, but damn was it fun! Thank you for the ask, as always! I can ramble, ramble, ramble like my life depends on it! XD 

[dent-de-leon]

I heard Season 7 wasn't so great. I'm sure you think otherwise, but what were some highlights that you think made it worthwhile, if you did?

Alright,, get ready for this, cause I think Season 7 was pretty good, so let’s get to it:

I think lots of people who were disappointed with season 7 conflated the importance of certain things and events--especially Adam--and their hatred for the season is more so a result of it not adhering to expectations they arbitrarily decided on. 

For instance, before season 7 even dropped, we still had people claiming Shiro and Adam were fiances previously, somehow still fiances, or were meant to be. People honestly thought they’d get back together after a messy breakup and years of distance. So many fans thought a wedding was inevitable. All of this in spite of the show runners repeatedly confirming that they were never engaged, the relationship was permanently over, and Adam was really just part of Shiro’s backstory. And you can bet lots of them treated Shiro like he wasn’t “real rep” after Adam was gone, which wasn’t fair honestly. 

So anyway, some of the things season 7 did for us:

fINALLY REVEALED THE LONG AWAITED PREKERBEROS BACKSTORY BETWEEN SHIRO AND KEITH,, we’ve waited years for this guys!! It was so heartwarming and beautiful to see how their pasts intertwined to shape the present, how Keith is still by Shiro’s side all these years later,, even paralleling his devotion to Shiro with Shiro’s literal ex-boyfriend,, 

REVEALED SHIRO WAS CANONICALLY MLM,, LIKE,, THIS WAS THE REPRESENTATION THE SHOW RUNNERS HAD BEEN FIGHTING FOR ALL THIS TIME. AND IT WAS EXPLICIT, ONSCREEN REP FROM A LEAD CHARACTER. THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME,, and I’ll literally never be okay with people still crying “queerbaiting” after everything the staff went through to do this for us,, 

Keith literally willing Shiro back to life with the power of love made me like cry I can’t get over how soft and sweet they are,, 

Exploring the inner-workings and politics of the Galaxy Garrison 

WE FINALLY GOT SOME MORE QUINTESSENCE SENSITIVE KEITH AND DRUID CONTENT!!! Again, this is the payoff we’ve been waiting for since season 1!! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a Druid with more of an established character and background beyond just Faceless Enemy?? We got so much interesting info here. And the episode played out with all these neat little horror tropes--Keith hiding and tensing up when the Druid walks over his spot and that one step creaks, that maniacal laugh and mask splitting open, some of Macidus’ creepy mannerisms, ect. Parts of that episode gave me chills, I loved it!! And again, these are some of the answers and world building tidbits we’ve been waiting ages for,, 

Shiro’s new hand is cool and I love the design. I don’t care that lots of people think otherwise lmao. It’s so fun to me,, I love how big and floaty it is,, and I love that scene where Allura uses the tiara crystal to salvage Shiro’s connection with it. She was so ready for that, no hesitation, and I wish that maybe there was more of a followup to that--Allura thinking of how she got the tiara from her mother in a flashback, Shiro thanking her afterwards, something. 

SHIRO CONNECTING WITH ATLAS WAS BEAUTIFUL,, that moment where everything just sort of clicks into place. And everyone looks to him for guidance. It’s really magical. And I honestly think Shiro being able to create his own mech through his bond with Atlas is kind of a callback to that scene where Allura tells him he was meant to create, not destroy. 

In the same vein, I also think it was actually really great that Keith was the one to cut down Sendak. You can read my whole thought process on it here, but long story short, Shiro was tortured both mentally and physically by Sendak for so long. And all the time, he kept trying to push Shiro, trying to force him to be the monster the Galra always intended to make him. Killing Sendak just isn’t Shiro to me, but it’s the kind of thing Sendak would love. At least then, he’d get in a last word about how they’re supposedly the same or some other bullshit that would just torture Shiro more. And honestly, I think Shiro has been forced to do enough violence at the hands of the Galra. Keith killing Sendak is him shouldering the weight of taking a life so Shiro doesn’t have to. It’s a reprieve. It’s Keith cutting down Shiro’s demons and then being there to hold Shiro in his arms afterwards. Psychologically, I think this is so much more healing for Shiro than the alternative. That shot where Keith takes Sendak down? That’s not a Big Hero moment, it’s dark and viscerally personal. It’s not Keith stealing the spotlight from Shiro or anything, it’s Keith doing something gutting and ugly so Shiro doesn’t have to, it’s freeing Shiro from Sendak’s influence for good--and ensuring Shiro won’t have to make the killing blow frees him in a way, ends the cycle of Shiro potentially being haunted by the continued cycle of violence Sendak tried to trap him into. 

And again, I’m saying all that with the context that Shiro always pushed himself to do everything on his own, to shoulder the weight of the world--hello Atlas--because he spent so long with others looking at him with the misconception that he needed to be shielded and protected, that he couldn’t do things alone or couldn’t push past a certain point, reducing him to the symptoms of his illness--hi Adam. This season doesn’t coddle Shiro or remove him from the action. He’s not “retired,” he’s Captain, Commander. He lets himself lean on Keith for support, be held safe in his arms. But then shoves a medic away and runs to his battle station in the very next episode. Part of his character arc is learning that there can be a balance between others thinking they know what’s best for him and doing everything on his own. He learns, through his bond with Keith, that he can lean on someone and look to them for support--without being coddled or looked down on. “We saved each other”--Keith has always believed in him, has never once doubted his abilities, so trusts him enough to let be vulnerable with Keith, to let him help out when he needs it. 

WE FINALLY GOT A BIGGER HUNK STORY ARC--ALSO THE AMAZING SCENE BETWEEN HUNK AND KEITH THAT BUILDS ON THEIR EARLIER DEVELOPMENT TOGETHER,,

We see the wonderful payoff for Lance and Allura’s feelings for one another--the cute little exchanges,, Lance’s sister noticing What’s up,, the blushing and soft looks...it was so good...a lot of people hated that cause they hate the ship, but like, it was a buildup of natural progression for these characters. 

Everything in regards to Hunk, Lance, and Pidge’s families building on their respective backstories and character development

KEITH TAKING KROLIA TO VISIT HIS FATHER’S GRAVE WAS SUCH A NICE TOUCH IT HURT BUT IT FELT LIKE GOOD CLOSURE,, 

ALTEAN REI,, THE WHOLE NOTION OF HAGGAR ABANDONING THE DRUIDS AND CREATING AN ALTEAN ARMY,, THAT’S SUPER INTERESTING IM READY TO GET MORE INTO THAT,,

ATLAS IS A REALLY AWESOME MECH AND IM GLAD SHIRO HAS IT,,

So,, in conclusion--I don’t think the season’s perfect, there are some things I think could’ve been improved, but I also think it honestly did a lot of good things and built on established canon. Season 6 is what I see as the writing’s highest point for reference, btw. 

[assassins-and-hidden-blades]

I have an idea that will tick all your boxes - action featuring Edward Kenway 😊 well actually I couldn't decide on one so you could choose whichever you think will work best? I'm not expecting you to write all of them! 1) Edward's first fight 2) Edward's first kill 3) Edward's first spar with a woman (ie. Reader)

You sure know how to spoil me :P I’m gonna do them all with Edward’s first _____ with/in the presence of the Reader, because let’s face it, Edward’s first fight would be hard to determine, seeing how reckless the boy is on his own xx I hope you enjoy it!! :D

Warnings for harassment (I think) and violence, cause, you know, this isn’t just gonna be fluff lmao (though there is a lot of that in the last one) btw, the sparring one’s my favourite

Edward’s First Fight

You needed a drink—badly. Nassau, luckily, was the best place to find good liquor, and so the nearest pub would suit you greatly.

Sitting down on an empty barstool, you ordered a few shots away from the rest of the crew. You were still quite new, and being the only woman on board called for quite the interaction. You needed the alone time anyway.

You downed your fourth or fifth shot—you couldn’t quite remember—when someone took a seat beside you.

“You sure can hold your liquor,” a man said. “For a woman.”

You shot him a pointed look. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean…” he put his hands up in surrender. “I can think of plenty other ideas that a woman like yourself can do…”

You shot him a disgusted look, and continued to drink before someone knocked it out of your hand. Standing up, alarmed, you readied your stance, but a hand touched your shoulder before you could get a punch in. “Is this man botherin’ you, lass?” It was Edward.

“This isn’t any of your business; fuck off!”

You tapped out. “Yeah, he really is.”

Edward smirked at your snark and cracked his knuckles, swinging before the man could blink. He quickly ran off with his tail between his legs—and maybe a black eye or two.

“Uh, thanks.” Stunned, you tried to find the right words.

“It’s not a problem, lass. I’ll walk you back?” He held his arm out.

“I’d like that.” The crew shared smug looks as the two of you left the pub, arm in arm.

Edward’s First Kill

He was sharing a contract with you for the first time, so it was safe to say that the both of you became quite wary of each other’s capabilities.

“You sure you’re up for this, lass?” He was crouching behind cover, watching the target; a man triple your size, and maybe half of Edward’s.

“I was about to ask you the same thing. Funny, that.”you grinned cheekily before hopping a bit closer to your target, leaving Edward no choice but to follow suit.

You were first to get in position; a beam above the path he was walking along. He came under you, and you jumped, the beam breaking with your sudden force. The target looked up at the source of the crack and managed to evade all but a gash on the side of his throat. It was a good chunk, but a man of his size would still be able to live.

You, on the other hand, tumbled to the floor and began sparring where you were lying, one hand trying to sheath your hidden blade where it should have landed, and the other blocking his knife from securing you with the same fate. He was squeezing your wrist so hard, you were sure you heard your blade crack.

Edward was quick to help. With one bullet, it ripped straight through the target’s head, and you almost felt the wind of it pass you by. You pushed the corpse off of you, entirely exhausted.

“You can’t rest now, lass!” As he ran past you, he grabbed your arm, tugging you from the ground.

“Thank you!” You told him as you flees.

Edward’s First Sparring Match (with you)

“Remember what I taught you,” he prompted as you circled each other on the Jackdaw. He even made the crew place bets, the bastard. They encircled the two of you in a wide circle, cheering and laughing while Adé watched from the helm with a wide smile; he couldn’t wait to see you kick the smug Captain’s arse. The Captain’s… shirtless arse.

“Yeah, yeah. Can I punch you now?” The crew members that listened to the side conversation began ‘ooh-ing’ at the banter. You probably ended up staring for too long, because Edward responded by pulling a feign and striking your sternum, winding you.

“I believed we talked about arrogance somewhere too.” The crew laughed, and you probably would have too if you weren’t busy catching your breath. Edward went to strike again, but this time you were ready and grabbed his arm, twisting it behind him and kicking out a knee.

His free arm quickly retaliated, flying out behind him to grab your jaw, and the momentum turned him around and threw you to the ground. Your head began to spin a bit and it took you a second too long to realise that your hands were pinned above your head and Edward’s hidden blade was at your throat. “Maybe a bit more practice is in order?” In all his smug glory, he failed to predict your knee flying into his crotch. You bucked him off of you, turning the tables. Now he was the one with his hands pinned and you had your blade out.

“I think I’ve learned all the important stuff, including the fact that the fight isn’t over until the victor says it’s over, usually with the death of a loser…” you were cut off when Edward’s bent leg behind you pushed you forward until you were an inch away from Edward’s face. You had to sheath your hidden blade in order to steady yourself with your other hand.

“Or the kiss of a lover?” One of the crew wolf whistled, and overcome by shy embarrassment, you froze. Edward made the move by lifting his head to meet your lips.

You loosened the grip on his wrists with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other. It took a second for Edward to flip you over again, drawing a surprised noise from you.

“Shall we call that a draw, lass?”

And all the while, Adéwale was chuckling to himself.

[yehet-me-up]

*emerges through one of those pretty curtains with the colorful beads* Guess who's back? It is I! The Theatrical Gay Anon! Back to once again ramble endlessly about various things (expect multiple asks in a row, you know the drill lmao)

WELCOME BACK!!!! omg i am so blessed by the abundance of messages from you 🥰😭 I hope you’ve been well sweet bean! 

I LOVE your ideas for fics omg. Right now I’m just doing ones for exo mall so we can wrap this baby up with a bow 😂 but I’ve got them saved for later!

And I just kept worrying "what if every member is like that? what if they all suck? It's all parasocial interactions anyway, it's not like you actually KNOW anything for sure!" (I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to 12 member songs again though). I think what helped was realizing that while yes, I don't know for sure if any of the idols I like are good people I ALSO don't know for sure if they're bad people either. It's a 50-50 shot.

This is such a huge mood, after the K**s situation happened, I totally feel you. It was such a mindf*ck and reminder that while we KnowTM them we don’t know them in that way (and can we ever REALLY know anyone, anyways?!) but that’s an existential crisis for another time haha. I’m glad you’ve made your way back, and I hope exo and the bois can provide you the entertainment, comfort, and joy that you are hoping for once again <3

*going under a read more since I have so many great things to respond to 🥰*

To clarify, I have a personal nickname I use for every OTP in the EXO Mall universe. Baekhyun and Hitchcock are The Idiots for obvious reasons, Zitao and Double Shot are The Philosophers, Chanyeol and Bijoux are Necklace and Bracelet (because they can be on their own but having both together completes an outfit, yes I AM always this sappy), Sunshine and Soo are Pineapple on Pizza, Jongdae and Chip (ya know, like a computer chip? They didn't get a nickname so I came up with one) are Wine and Cheese (cuz Jongdae is known for whining lol), Minseok and Bookworm are The Yearners, Lavender and Yixing are Chocolate Covered Strawberry, Sehun and Bicker (another made up nickname by yours truly!) are The Angry Fucks, Jongin and Liz are Kelly and Cyd and Jane and Junmyeon are Morland and Tilney (I know Darcy and Bennet is the more obvious choice but think Northanger Abbey is a super underrated Austen novel, which is weird considering it's the first one she wrote so you'd think it'd be more well known)

;oiasjdflkdjsaf these are so great omg i love it!!! 😂

ALSO I've come up with more songs that fit The Idiots. Lmk if you agree with my picks! I just think the lyrics and the general sound of these ones fit them well. "115万キロのフィルム" by Official髭男dism, "The First Time" by Miki Fiki and "Good Morning Beauty Queen" by Jacob Sigman - Theatrical Gay Anon

the first one is SO fun i am loving the soft romantic pop vibes PLS. the second one is legit like high school friends who are honestly in love with each other but neither of them have the nerve to say so hahaha. and the third feels like baekhyun trying to get hitch’s attention in THAT way and when she’s finally like ???? he’s like ‘oh nothing’ and we all collectively yell how they need to wake up and date already.

"One of the hundreds of subtle nods to that fact that while your entire group of friends are close, you and Baekhyun are just a little bit closer" *yells in megaphone* JUST FUCK ALREADY!!! - Theatrical Gay Anon

😂😂😂😂

"Or his mouth, remembering the one and only time it was pressed to yours." WHEN, HOW, WHERE!? I really, really, REALLY, hope you provide the backstory for this because I'm dying to know - Theatrical Gay Anon

oh we ABSOLUTELY will 😉😉😉😉 I briefly mentioned it when I posted the teaser for hitchbaek AGES ago and i’m stoked to write the full thing soon for their longer fic. 

They share clothes and it's NBD to them goodness gracious they're so cuuute, I bet they both subconsciously enjoy this cuz it makes them feel like they'll always have a place in the other's life 

pls, I am WEEPING, this is it exactly. #relationshipgoals fr

I know this sounds odd but Mall AU Baek feels like an old friend? And this is how I'd assume he'd be. Introspective like a holiday. Not often but inveterate and memorable

ME TOO. writing this series feels like a hug each time. and YES you’re picking up what i’m putting down re: this baekhyun. a holiday is the perfect metaphor 👌🏻

“Even Johnny the new fry cook thinks you belong together and he’s been here less than a month.” OMG is this NCT's Johnny!? If so that's cool, I love that dude. Can he have his pretty long hair in this universe?

YES I was thinking of that Johnny. Kind of like the other SM universes are all colliding in seattle and the pacific northwest 😂

He might as well be carrying a big neon sign that says "I will love you forever"! I also think it's sweet that he admires their idiosyncrasies most of all. I feel like he's known them for so long that the most obscure things about them will bring him joy. Like, the "honeymoon" period of his crush is long gone. He doesn't get flustered at the thought of them naked anymore but he'll giggle like a schoolboy when Hitchcock gets annoyed at the same line of dialogue from a bad movie HE got annoyed at when he saw it before them. Or when Hitchcock, without a second thought, will give him the biggest slice of pizza when they go to Barada.

Final thoughts: incredible as always. No joke, no hyperbole, I hope that my writing makes people as happy as your writing makes me. That's my goal. There's just so much life to your work! I can always picture each story in my head perfectly. I can see it all, I can hear it all, it's just *there*. It makes me feel like I just watched a movie and that's a compliment because I'm a huge film dweeb. As you can imagine this is one of the reasons why I'm very pumped to read more of The Idiots hehe. Seriously, this was amazing and I'm looking forward to seeing those lovable fools finally get together (prediction: Baek is going to somehow trip and fall like a dumbass when they first have sex and it's gonna leave a nasty bruise and when he's asked about it afterwards he'll be like "it's a hickie ;P" even though it's enormous and on his elbow)

;lakjsdfoisadj i am so touched. i can’t wait for you to read the rest of them! I hope you like them too <3 your messages honestly made my MONTH, i hope you know how much i appreciate them and how much your kind words mean to me 💕 i hope you’re doing well and having a great year and that ALL of your wishes come true on this magical 2/22/2022 day 🌟

Also, just a tip for the future, I've noticed you'll do this in your stories sometimes and I'm sure it's not intended but when you make note of the reader's "pink" skin it makes it tougher for dark skinned readers to see themselves in the story since not everyone blushes bright pink, ya know? 

ahhh a fantastic point, thank you!!!! making things vivid enough for folks to imagine but non-descript and universal enough so that anyone can picture themselves in the story is so important to me, thank you so much for letting me know!

*gets so hyped that I'm launched into space, killing Jeff Bezos in the process thus making me Earth's hero*

;ajoisdjfaklsdjasf YOU’RE MY HERO 😂 i hate Jeff Bezos with a FIERY passion ugh.