I think Astrid Hofferson has a bad case of the 'my childhood was wasted, I grew up too fast for something ultimately proven pointless.' Syndrome and that she deserves to get to do silly things she missed out on and take up new hobbies, even if she's not particularly good at them–it's purely for the experience yknow, and learn to finally breathe no longer needing to be on constant high alert and get to be truly happy
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So I noticed something in Harrow the Ninth. In chapter two, when John is trying to console Harrow over having lost Gideon, he puts his hands on her shoulders, and he says "Gideon Nav did not die for nothing."
Harrow feels "a hot whistle of pain run down
[her] temporal bone," which is, we know now, Harrow having a stroke as her skull alters her brain so that she hears him say 'Ortus Nigenad' instead. And she replies to him in kind, using Ortus' name. So the interesting bit is John's reaction, look:
He had his hands on her shoulders the whole time. Physical touch negates lyctoral blindness, and she had a stroke while he was touching her. That look on his face. Is he working out an emotionally taxing anagram, or is he taking a good look at her and working out what the hell just happened? Then he says Gideon's name again, like he's running a test, and Harrow has another stroke. That's exactly the same test Mercy performed to figure out what Harrow did to her brain in chapter twenty-nine.
He knows. He's known about the lobotomy since chapter two. He thinks she did it to forget her grief and guilt, and he thinks he understands.
Which means when he 'notices' the lobotomy in this scene:
He's not really noticing it for the first time at all. He's calling attention to it. He's just told Harrow that she didn't open the Tomb, that she's wrong about the events of her own life, and then he deliberately 'discovers' and points out her brain damage to seal the deal.
John Gaius uses: Gaslight! It's super effective.
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can i have my knuckles kissed one by one by a big scary evil man that is only soft with me
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me when im violently dragged into 2 different Troll AUs by @bulliestrolls and @lemony-and-zesty </3
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@ Lilac:
Why the long face?
Rude!! Rude Question to this poor horse man!!
he could also have said "my whole family was killed by ice fangs but that would be depressing
Invasive like... 6/10? it's kinda just mildly annoying
(i imagine the same level of annoyance as i have with people asking about my birthmark bc it's on my knee and NO it's not an injury have you people Never seen a port wine stain before???)
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