#mum took me op shopping after

[egglygreg]

hugging you hugging you hugging you

Thankyou, it's been a pretty rough day, after a difficult couple of weeks 🧡🧡🧡

[ylincorporations2]

essex vol 2

This time around we only had to wait 2 weeks for our next encounter - the SECOND, yes you heard me right, second trip to Essex in one summer. What a time to be alive, huh. In those two weeks between camping and you coming to mine, nothing even remotely interesting happened besides some Pippa growth and your work stories. So lets get into the juicy stuff.

After getting the train all the way to Braintree, I greeted you at the station and we headed back to mine in our pre-booked taxi. As I've explained earlier in this blog, the first day at mine follows a ritualistic programme which was unsurprisingly abided by this time around. My mum was at work which meant that only my dad and Fern joined us for Posh Mac N Cheese outside. At the time of writing this, I genuinely couldn't imagine anything better than having some dinner outside in such wondeful company.

After a long lay in, we got ourselves up and ready for breakfast lunch at the strawberry farm. Although we missed out on fruit picking, we still got to have a nice walk over and a lovely (but expensive) lunch. I am going to take a stab in the dark here that this day may have been the one when we started a Handmaid's Tale. As I have not much left to say about these first two days due to their chilled nature, I wanted to give spotlight to some of the shows we've enjoyed this year.

Pretty Little Liars

Bridgerton

Breaking bad

The Crown

The Watcher

Handmaid's Tale

On the Friday, we made the first of 2 very important return trips. In contrast to the windy March day we experienced on our first visit, the weather at Frinton was much improved. Some mild traffic on our way there did not take away from the experience in the slightest. It was so much fun! After out picnic, we played on the beach and had a quick dip, before taking a walk up the coast to Walton. Here, we would spend our hard earned summer funds on amusements and a whirl around the Waltzer. Once we'd had our fill, it was onto the Fish and Chip shops to get the final treat of the day. With another small inconvenience on the way home (flat tire), this rounded off a brilliant day at the sea side.

I would be lying if I said that Saturday was not my favourite day. After an early start we headed out to the surprise water-based activity - Paddle Boarding! Although the surprise was ruined, its safe to say that the activity itself was a hit. I can't believe how much fun it was and how good we were at it. You're such a little superstar, so talented! I would love to get our own boards one day so that we could do it regularly. We could even bring our little doggy on board with us, but unfortunately our cat would have to stay at home :(

Once we got home, we cleaned up and had some lunch. In the evening, master chefs Luke and Yas made our famous pizza dough. Little Miss Rose then took over once it was time to design and cook our pizzas, with which we enjoyed a rather substandard horror film. But oh well, it was a really nice time and such a great day.

Now on the next day there were some very important events. First on the agenda was a visit to my beloved Nanny Janet. You managed to get a couple of laughs out of her which is quite the accomplishment. After our little call in, we headed home for some lunch to recharge. From there, we made our fated return to your favourite place in Suffolk - the small town of Clare. Here, we finally completed the traintrack walk we had originally attempted to do over a year prior. Its crazy how long I've been seeing you for Yasmine, like I can't even imagine my life without you. I'd hate it. We then sat back on OUR bench; whoevers name its in should be changed. After an unnecessary snack refill at the co-op for the second year running, we returned home (yes home, as thats wherever you are) for a big nights sleep.

Such a pretty girl doing a lovely pose (pointing to dino socks!)

On the penultimate day of your stay was the biggest family event you had ever been exposed to. Not only did you meet the full Reynolds tribe (Elsie included), you had the privelidge of exchanging pleasantries with great auntia Val and great uncle Rob. Now, I can't imagine how stressful this day might have been for you but you absolutely smashed it. From start to finish, you were on your A game and you left such a brilliant impression. As the first partner ever invited to a family event, you set the mark pretty damn high. I'm so proud of you Yas, and I love showing you off to my family because I have the prettiest, most amazing girlfriend going.

Our final night together is always filled with horrible stomach pains and regret of not having you stay longer. Luckily this time around there was such a small time until I would see you next for the highlight of the summer.

[theclockworkmonk]

Out of the Mouths of Babes — Chapter 3

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

Chapter 1 on Tumblr

Chapter 2 on Tumblr

Written for Hinny Ficfest 2021 (I know it's unacceptable I'm still working on this, but I got distracted by other prompts)

Prompt: “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

******

Harry and Ginny landed on the path leading up through the Burrow's garden, and they were already feeling more at home than they even felt in their own flat. They approached the door to the kitchen smiling and holding hands, but before Ginny could reach the doorknob, the door flew open and the fast, blurry form of her mother tackled her into a crushing hug that knocked the wind out of Ginny.

"Oh my girl!" Molly Weasley sobbed into her daughter's shoulder. "My dear little girl!"

"Mum!" Ginny gasped weakly, swatting her mother's back as she started to feel light headed. "Mum! Air!"

Molly finally released her and Ginny took a gasping breath.

"Is something wrong, Mrs. Weasley?" Harry asked quickly, his expression quickly becoming focused and alert.

"Yeah, is there another Dark Lord already? Bloody hell," said Ginny, rubbing her crushed ribs.

"Oh no, no, it's nothing," Molly sniffed, waving dismissively with one hand and wiping tears away from her eyes with the other. "I'm just so happy to see you both, it's been weeks."

"It's been exactly three weeks for Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, and one week for me," Harry pointed out. He had never seen her react so fiercely, even when seeing her children for the first time after being away at school for a year."

"Oh you know me, just being silly," chuckled Molly. "Come on in, dinner is almost ready."

The three of them entered the kitchen, and Harry reflexively reached for his wand as his fledgling Auror senses kicked in. The atmosphere in the room was nearly identical to what he had felt in interrogation rooms. Every man in the room was looking either angry or nervous, with the exception of George, who was biting his knuckle and looking like he was trying not to laugh. He tried to meet Ron's eyes, but his best friend was too distracted by his mother's famous scones. Hermione greeted him with a grateful smile, and Harry got the impression that she had noticed it too. She was the only one who hadn't touched her firewhiskey, tapping the glass with her finger nervously.

After fidgeting for a few seconds, Percy shot up out of his seat, looking too antsy to keep still, and approached the newcomers with two glasses of firewhiskey in his hands. "Er...care for a drink?"

"...Sure," said Harry cautiously, "Thanks." He took the glass offered to him.

Ginny assumed the other glass was for her, and her hand moved an inch to take it, but before she could, Percy turned away and kept it for himself, taking the largest gulp that Ginny had ever seen him take.

Ginny huffed and pursed her lips. Apparently, after bloody everything, her brothers still saw her as just a kid, to the point where it didn't even occur to them that maybe she wanted a stiff drink too. She was just about to let them all know exactly what she thought of that, when the second frantic mother in as many minutes accosted her.

"Ginny!" cried Fleur loudly as she entered from the sitting room, holding Victoire in her arms, presumably after feeding the baby upstairs. Fleur made a beeline for Ginny and tackled her into a one-armed hug, then planted two hard kisses on either of her cheeks.

"Er….nice to see you too," said Ginny uncomfortably, her face turning red. Ginny and Fleur had gotten friendlier since the war ended, but this level of affection was certainly unheard of.

"You are beautiful, Ginevra," said Fleur with a beaming smile, "Radiant! Come, I 'ave somezing upstairs I need your 'elp with."

"Fleur…" said Bill, his voice laced with warning.

"I just need 'elp wiz ze packing," she said dismissively, handing her daughter to her husband. Before Ginny could express displeasure at being roped into work before she could say a word to her family, Fleur had taken her by the hand and begun leading her up the stairs. They stopped at Bill and Charlie's old bedroom, which by now was more of a storage space to shove things the family didn't have a space for. When Fleur opened the door, Ginny saw the old beds covered in several wardrobes worth of colorful, expensive-looking outfits. Ginny recognized them as Fleur's maternity clothes.

"I am finally getting to packing away all of zis," Fleur explained, pointing towards several open cardboard boxes. "Ze sorting should go faster with ze two of us."

"Okay," said Ginny uncertainly, "Why now? And do you want me specifically?"

"Oh, well," Fleur shrugged, "Eet just seemed the right time, zey 'ave been sitting up here for ages. And I am letting Bill spend time with his brozzers, and your maman….well, it is best if ze two of us avoid zis topic, or she will be lamenting zat I will not be putting all zis to use again soon enough."

"Ugh, I know," Ginny groaned. "She really has been smothering you, hasn't she?"

That was enough to make Ginny sympathize with her sister-in-law, and she set to work sorting, folding, and packing away the absurd mountain of clothes. Of course Fleur had to invest in a whole new wardrobe for just a few months, all from the same high-end French designers she got all her clothes from.

Ginny chuckled and shook her head.

"What is funny?" asked Fleur.

"It's just...maternity clothes are supposed to be frumpy, right? But even your maternity clothes are more glamorous and sexy than what I wear normally," Ginny laughed.

"Oh. Well…" Fleur said in a sing-song voice, "Eef you see anyzing zat you liiiike…."

"I don't think it would make much difference if they sat in my closet for several years instead of yours," laughed Ginny. "Hermione's the one who's already engaged, she's probably the one who will need these next."

There was a beat of silence, so Ginny looked up from the clothes she was folding towards Fleur, and was surprised to see the other woman looking at her with sadness and disappointment, chewing her painted lip with worry.

"Ginny…" Fleur said softly, gently squeezing Ginny's shoulder. "I like to zink zat we 'ave become closer zese last few years. I 'ope zat we can trust one anozzer. We can tell each ozzer zings and know zat eet will stay between us."

Ginny blinked at Fleur silently. "Er...thanks, Fleur, that...means a lot."

Fleur smiled again, but was still looking at Ginny expectantly, like she expected her to say something equally earnest, and the younger witch was growing more uncomfortable.

"Well, uh, anyway, I don't want to sound like my mum, but it is kind of surprising you're packing these away," Ginny said forcefully, trying to change the subject as she turned back to the clothes. "I never figured you and Bill would stop at one. I always pictured you having a whole proper Weasley litter. If nothing else, you need to have more just so that Vic isn't the only grandchild anymore, so she's not doted to death by my mum."

"Oh, zere is plenty of time for more children for us in years to come," said Fleur, waving her hand, "...and as for Victoire being ze only grandchild," she elbowed Ginny in the ribs playfully, "a leetle bird told me zat she will not 'ave zat title for long."

Ginny jerked so violently she nearly ripped the expensive blouse she was holding, spinning to face Fleur with her eyes wide and her mouth gaping. She saw that mischievous glint in Fleur's eye that she alway got when she had a piece of family gossip.

"WHAT!?" Ginny shrieked. "Who — how do you know—"

"Shhh," Fleur placed a finger against Ginny's lips. "Zere is no need to say anyzing." She gave the confused girl a cheeky wink and continued with the clothes as if she hadn't just dropped a world-shattering bomb on her poor sister-in-law. Ginny's heart was pounding and her mind was racing, which Fleur was no doubt aware of and was thoroughly enjoying having a piece of gossip that Ginny was desperate for.

But Ginny wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of begging for it. It couldn't be that hard to figure out who Fleur was talking about.

Percy hadn't had a single date since the war ended, as far as Ginny knew. He was still beating himself up for abandoning the family to think he deserved anything good in his life.

George had been spending a lot of time with Angelina lately, but they weren't even officially together yet. And if they had that kind of accident, Fleur wouldn't be the first in the family to know about it. George might have gone to Bill for advice, but Bill would take that seriously enough to not share it with anyone, even his wife.

Charlie couldn't have kids since the incident with the angry Ukrainian Ironbelly.

But that would only leave…

Ginny gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. It all made sense now. Ron suddenly talking about leaving the Aurors just to work in the joke shop. That completely clashed with the Ron she knew, who hated being put on the sidelines while others were in danger, and who hated being in the twins' shadow even more…

But it made perfect sense if he needed a less dangerous job with more stable hours. Something one would want if they were expecting a baby.

Fleur looked regretful about pushing Ginny's buttons, and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I did not mean to upset you, Ginny," she said softly, "forget I said anyzing."

Ginny idly nodded, but knew that she could never "forget" something like this.

Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, one of Ginny's best friends, was pregnant.

[script-nef]

#bokutoisblessed | Bokuto Koutarou

Category: crack, fluff

2.2k words; MSBY fans dying over Bokuto and his family

Bokuto uploaded another photo

It seems like just yesterday little Hana was swaddled in his arms and now look at her. Like. Holy [censored] look at the [censored] post. 

Dudes like. She can walk now. Her steps are so wobbly but also so cute and my heart like????? Just exploded when we were gifted with the sight of her??? AND THE WAY SHE GIGGLED WHEN SHE ARRIVED AT HER MUM’S LAP A SAFJAKFDL I CAN’T BREATHE

Comments [Anon]: Honestly we the fans of Black Jackals are so blessed because we get to experience this joy and bundle of life thanks to our lord and saviour Bokuto Koutarou and his amazing wife, who will hereby be named Kami-sama. Because God is a woman I called it.

[Anon]: I agree with 97% of this, except for the Kami-sama part. She said it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing so we have to call her something else. How about Wife-sama. That should be fine, right?

[Anon]: Oh I saw that post Bokuto put up! Saying how much he’s thankful for the support but not to call her that! The upload was a short video of her turning red after he called her Kami-sama and it’s a treasure I will keep for the rest of my life. And into the afterlife. Death can try to pull it out of my cold, dead hand but I won’t let it. YOU HEAR ME DEATH???? YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS FROM MEEEEEE

[Anon]: Bokuto said Wife-sama is fine! Apparently she was still red and it was the cutest thing ever. Bokuto is so biased (*cough cough* whipped *cough cough*) but hey I’m not complaining. I don’t think my imagination will ever come close to the actual reaction but I hope it does.

[Anon]: Do you guys remember, when he just started dating her, how he flooded us with posts of her and her only? Like, practically 95% of my feed was her since he was putting so much of them up. She could literally be doing nothing and he’ll be like “HOLY [censored] LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!” Without swearing because he doesn’t do that, but still.

[Anon]: OH AND THEN HE GOT INTO TROUBLE WITH HIS SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER ASKJDSKDJF THAT WAS GOLD

[Anon]: THEY LITERALLY PUT A VIDEO UP OF THEM TRYING TO TELL BOKUTO WHY HE SHOULDN’T DO THAT AND HE CONSTANTLY SAID “BUT I’M DATING HER AND THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING I LOVE HER!!” LIKE BOI WE GET IT EVEN ALIENS WILL GET IT

[Anon]: And it started up again when she was pregnant with Hana. Like I could make a time-lapse video or whatever of her pregnancy just from the photos he put up

[Anon]: I honestly wonder how many photos he has of her and Hana

[Anon]: Probably a couple thousand. I mean like, I have a couple thousand of MBSY members but my love for them pales in front of Bokuto for Wife-sama, so.

→ Continue thread

Holy [censored] I just met Bokuto

Okay so there was news about a new resident coming into our apartment, more specifically my neighbouring unit. It was previously occupied by this really old couple and we had this small farewell party. They dropped hints that the new residents might be kind of loud but that they were great.

A few days later, my doorbell rings and who do I see? It’s [censored] Bokuto. Like, straight up. In his casual clothes. Exactly the same as the photo on his Insta page where he said he was moving. Which I liked practically a few hours ago.

He was standing there with the biggest smile and saying that he’s the new resident and that they’re giving out homemade cookies because of the baby and Bokuto’s volume. And invited me to a small dinner. And I’m. Like my brain. Literally. Like my brain is even blank now. Bokuto. Invited me. To his house. So I could have dinner. And see his wife. And little Hana. 

So I am here now, raiding my wardrobe to see if I have anything wearable because HOLY [censored] [censored] [censored] I’M GOING TO HAVE DINNER WITH BOKUTO AND HIS FAMILY I’LL REPORT BACK LATER IF HE’S FINE WITH ME SHARING THIS EXPERIENCE OKAY I REALLY GOTTA GO BECAUSE MY HEART IS BEATING WAY TOO FAST AND I NEED TO HAVE SOME MEDICINE

[Edit]: This was riddled with spelling mistakes because my hands were shaking from the aftershock.

Comments [Anon]: ???? What did you do in your past life to be awarded the opportunity of being neighbours with Bokuto???? Did you like, save the country or something? Is that what it takes to be blessed with him?

[Anon]: No you gotta at least save the entire Earth for this damn dude thanks for your service I guess

[Anon]: But if you gotta save the world to be neighbours with Bokuto, then what the hell did Wife-sama do to be married to him?

[Anon]: She saved the universe

[Anon]: But I think Bokuto will be the one to say he saved the universe to be with her that cheesy dork ugh I love you

[Anon]: LMAO I CAN HEAR HIM SCREAMING THAT

[Anon]: Are you back yet? Are you alive? Are you blinded by the magnificence that is Bokuto Koutarou and his family? I know I would be. So in order to kill me as well, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED YOU CAN’T KEEP US OUT LIKE THIS I AM KNEELING ON THE FLOOR AND BEGGING FOR THE INTERACTION PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG OF THEE I WANT SOME MORE SIR

[OP]: That’s really weird so stop that. I’m just about to go out now! I’ll spend the dinner over there, experience heaven, hope I don’t die of heart failure and possibly come back with a war story. If they allow me. Wish me luck guys.

[Anon]: GO BRAVELY SOLDIER AND MAKE US PROUD I AM PRAYING THAT THEY’LL BE KIND ENOUGH TO LET YOU SHARE THIS WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE

I’M BACK

Okay so that could only be described as one of the best moments in my entire life. Don’t worry, they said it’s fine if I share this. #actualsaints

So I finally found an outfit and took the chocolate that I was saving for myself, but since I can give my arm and leg for Bokuto what the [censored] is a chocolate, right?

I’m greeted by Wife-sama herself. Like. Less than a metre from me, saying “good afternoon” and smiling like the saint of tranquillity. (A side note but how do you have that when you live with Bokuto? And a child? My brother wants to know your secrets.) And she’s wearing what I think is Bokuto’s shirt since it’s way too big for her, I mean the end comes to her thighs. Sharing shirts is the most romantic thing a couple can do I don’t make the rules I’m just the messenger.

Anyway she invites me into their house, their amazingly aesthetical and cozy house. There’s a display case for all of Bokuto’s trophies, awards, certificates and everything. There are photographs of them together all over the walls, hung from strings spanning the entire house. There was a wall section dedicated entirely to Hana-chan. I felt like an uncivilised cave gremlin there.

Wife-sama was still making dinner and I was going to help her but little Hana-chan came to me. Like, she tottered over to me in the blue frilly dresses and tugged on my pants, babbling and smiling. Y’all I nearly died. I literally saw the gates of heaven and had a foot in but Wife-sama saved me by pulling me back into reality. By asking me if I wanted to play with Hana-chan. Which killed me again. And she was apologetic about it too? Like she doesn’t think I would give my kidney to spend time with her?

So I was playing with Hana but sneakily looking at the two of them being cute as hell in the kitchen. Bokuto was attached to her at the hip for the whole time except for when she asked him to get some ingredients. He was a puppy incarnate. They were sneaking kisses, whispering to each other and it was honestly so cute like I was getting diabetes just from one night. 

The food was amazing, the dinner talk was so fun and delightful, Hana-chan was the cutest little angel ever, this was probably the best day of my life. AND WHEN I LEFT FOR THE NIGHT, THEY BOTH HUGGED ME AND IT WAS LIKE BEING HUGGED BY CLOUDS BUT THEY SMELLED SO NICE!!

I shall never forget this day. Mark my words y’all.

Comments [Anon]: How beautiful was their place? I feel like she would go with a pastel tone or black and white. And have cute things littered around everywhere.

[OP]: The house was really unique in the sense that it felt like two houses smashed together. Like they took turns decorating each section of the house. Looked like polar opposites. It was kind of weird at first but the aesthetics flowed well the longer I stayed there, if you can understand what I’m saying.

[Anon]: The fact that Bokuto and Wife-sama are practically opposites in many things but still formed a romantic relationship with each other and the fact that their taste or preferences complement each other perfectly is proof that they are soulmates. In this essay I will

[Anon]: Where’s the essay. Dude where’s the [censored] essay

[Anon]: HEY MAN COME BACK WHERE’S MY ESSAY

[Anon]: NOOOOOOOOOOO THE SACRED TEXTS

[Anon]: Bruh just a kidney? Take my [censored] liver. Take my heart. Oh no wait, she already has it in her squishy widdle hands.

[Anon]: I bid my left arm

[Anon]: Right arm

[Anon]: Lungs

[Anon]: I really love my brain but I barely use it so off it goes I guess

[OP]: ???? Guys? What are you doing? Stop this illegal organ trade in my post.

[Anon]: Shhhhh we’re showing our love

I saw Bokuto shopping and it was so cute

I do not do clickbait, it was genuinely adorable and my cheeks are about to fall off. As was everyone else’s in the entire mall.

I was just doing some shopping, getting some snacks and popcorn for the movie marathon I was going to have and who do I hear? Yeah, it’s Bokuto. And little Hana-chan whining to Wife-sama about how she’s not getting the snacks they want. It’s from memory since I didn’t take a video, I’m not a creep and I understand boundaries unlike some of you assholes, but it went something like this.

Bokuto: But think of all the caramel popcorn we could eat! Hana: Mama, sweeties. Sweeties. (What an angel, am I right?) Wife-sama: I already said no, it’s going to ruin your dinner. Hana: But it’s tasty! Bokuto: Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? I’ll do all of the dishes and cleaning today! Wife-sama: You already do that every day, Kou. It’s not much of a bribe. (Husband goals) And Hana, we have other snacks at home. Caramel is bad for your teeth. Bokuto: But babe! Wife-sama: I said no, and that’s it. Hana: Mama!

It was just this repeated for like 10 minutes with Bokuto and Hana-chan alternating their whines. I would have snapped after 5 times but wow, this lady has the mental fortitude of Fort Knox.

They both sulked and followed her around as she finished her shopping. I can tell Hana is Bokuto’s daughter because her hair droops down like his and a cloud forms over her head. It was practically magic.

In the end, they bought one (1) salted caramel popcorn because Wife-sama is too soft-hearted and they literally clung onto her for 5 minutes peppering her with kisses. And Bokuto actually lifted her in his embrace. In the middle of the sweets section. Where everyone was looking.

Needless to say, she was very very red.

Comments [Anon]: Conspiracy theory: factoring in Bokuto’s godlike physical ability, inhumane and endless sunny disposition, his hair’s ability to reflect his moods, it can be concluded that Bokuto is, in fact, a God.

[Anon]: Well someone has a big brain

[Anon]: Wait then Wife-sama would be a Goddess. Gasp SHE DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE CALLING HER KAMI-SAMA BECAUSE IT WOULD BLOW HER COVER

[Anon]: Oh yeah, it’s all coming together

[Anon]: I can kind of see Bokuto and Hana sneaking in sweets and snacks into the trolley while Wife-sama isn’t looking lmao

[OP]: THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT I nearly ran into them again and heard her berating Bokuto for sneaking in chocolate and shoving it beneath all the meat so she wouldn’t notice. My man, please. You can never outsmart your wife.

[Anon]: Next time I go to the MSBY fan meeting, I’m bringing all the sweets I can for Bokuto and Hana. It’s the least I can do.

[Anon]: They’re so cute and I can’t wait for the MSBY match in three days where Bokuto’s family is going to attend. I promise I’ll post about it afterwards.

[bush-viper-cutie]

sMuggled Art

Pairing: young muggle!snape x muggle!reader

Word Count: 5, 262

Rating: E for Everyone

Plot:  Severus is forced to take work in his father’s coworker’s wife’s store where he meets (Y/n). Severus’ view of the world seems dark, and you don’t really make things any better, but there is yet hope to change his mind! 

Warnings: None

A/N: Another request completed for anon! Since Severus doesn’t go to Hogwarts he has (my best attempt) at his North England accent. Hope you like it and the next on the list is the long awaited Crystal Ball part 4! :D

Posted: 8/31/20

Masterlist

---

(Y/n) = Your Name

 ~ * ~ * ~   = time skip

 ~ * ~ * ~

~ * ~ * ~ = POV switch

---

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

The front door slammed and shook the walls; Severus and his mother both jumped knowing what was soon to follow. His father was home and it didn’t sound like work had gone well again. His father walked into the kitchen where Severus was eating, his mother was wafting the cigarette smoke out the window before hastily dropping it into a water-filled pan in the sink and turned to her husband.

“They cut our pays. Again!” His father pulled on the fridge door so hard the entire thing moved forward several inches, scraping the tile.

That was Severus’ cue to escape to his room. He didn’t like being in the same room as either of his parents, though he could tolerate it when they were sober. All they ever did was order him around or ignore him on good days and yell at him on bad ones. Drunk, however, he knew what awaited him. He gathered his books and left his half-eaten cheese sandwich on his plate and turned to leave.

“You.”

His father’s gruff voice stopped him in his tracks. He turned, staring up at him as he took a long swig of beer and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“You need to start earnin’ for this ‘ousehold.” He stepped closer and stared down at him over his large, hooked nose. His black eyes looked hazy and dark circles made his face look much older than he was. Anyone could look at his face alone and guess an age ten years older than he was, except his large square shoulders and huge bulging muscles would make anyone second guess themselves. He slid his jacket off himself and let it drop to the floor, flexing his arms and leaned over the doorway, blocking Severus’ exit. “T’morrow. I’m takin’ you ‘round to Malv’s wife’s store. They’re lookin’ for an extra ‘and.”

“Doin’ what?” Severus squeezed his eyes, regretting having spoken.

His father smirked and bent down to Severus’ hunched height. “Doin’ wh’ever they ask s’long as it pays.” He shoved him out of the kitchen and slammed the door.

Severus straightened his shirt and cursed to himself, heading upstairs. He closed his bedroom door and sat on the edge of his bed. He had plans tomorrow to do the homework he’d been putting off for the week. He was already falling behind in school, which wasn’t a good enough excuse to get out of doing work. It wasn’t like his parents cared whether he stayed in his disgusting school. His father had, on more than one occasion, talked to him about quitting and starting work in the mill, but there was no bloody way he was throwing out his only chance of leaving this horrid town.

He kicked his nightstand in frustration and winced as the leg snapped with a crunch and the whole thing came toppling over. Pencils and loose paper fell out, along with his black leather-bound journal. It was the most expensive thing in the house, given to him for his eighth birthday by his grandfather before he died.

His father had wanted to sell it, but it wasn’t even worth the cost of gas it took to get to the pawn shop across town. His grandfather had paid good money for it, and in the end, it stayed in Severus’ possession, used to hold his rubbish drawings throughout the years.

He picked it up and started sketching out the broken furniture and shading it as best he could. He sighed and closed it, throwing it back on the pile of loose doodles.

~ * ~ * ~

The next morning he picked out anything that didn’t have obvious patches or holes to wear. He even combed through his hair, per his mother’s orders, and brushed his teeth, ready for work. He dumped out his school supplies from his bag and packed his journal and a few pencils. He hated having nothing to do and carried it with him everywhere. He liked drawing in public because normally no one talked to him when he did, and if they did, he could ignore them with ease and pretended to be too focused on his art.

“Severus! Get down! Now!” His father’s deep voice roared through the house.

He growled to himself and slammed his bedroom door shut, marching down the stairs to where his father stood waiting with his arms crossed.

“Don’t make me late for work,” his father growled.

He was always late for work.

Severus nodded and slipped on his shoes, tucking the laces inside and pulled the door open. His father pushed him aside and walked out first, heading to his old grey car with the paint coming off the sides. He looked around for his mother but she was in the kitchen, smoking again.

“There food I can take? …For breaks?” he called out.

She didn’t respond and he headed out. He walked around to the passenger side and did his best to unjam the car door, finally needing help from his father to get it open. He sat down, hugged his bag to his chest, and buckled in.

~ * ~ * ~

He stared at the rain droplets racing down the window as they drove a few minutes into town. The shops were just opening as the car pulled up to the curve of a street of small and old looking store fronts. The most immediate store had a metal sign with their store name stamped on and rusting on all the edges. It was still in better condition than the wooden sign from the store next to it with bloated letters from all the years of rain.

His father slammed the door closed and walked around the car, pulling the passenger door open with such ferocity the car wobbled in place.

“I’ll pick you up after work. ‘Round seven. ‘ere’s your papers.” His father handed him three folded pieces of paper and pulled him out of the car, slammed the door closed and walked back around. “Don’t mess this up, Severus. Or you’ll be dealin’ with me.”

Severus nodded, clutching his papers and watched his father’s car pull into the street and head back around towards the large looming factory in the distance. The smoke from the factory mixed with the grey clouds, hiding any hints of the sun outside.

He covered the papers from the rain and walked the few steps to the door and pulled but it wouldn’t budge. He pressed his forehead to the window and peered inside, watching as a silhouette of a short woman approached.

He backed away as the door unlocked and a pale, sunken-faced woman with big bushy brown brows stared up at him through golden glasses. She pulled on her string of waxy pearls around her neck and looked him up and down.

He stared back at her and extended his hand with his papers his father had given him. She unfolded and shuffled through them, humming affirmatively after each one.

“I can use you.” She stepped back and let him in out of the rain into the yellow glare of the ceiling lights. “Was ‘oping you’d be… more like your father.”

She squeezed his arms and he recoiled into a shelf, hitting his head against the sharp wood.

“But I s’ppose jus’ your height will do.” She led him through several tight spaces between shelves of porcelain figures and around the front counter into the back room.

The back room was brighter than the main store, using whiter light, and there were larger stacks of boxes piled in the corner behind a single round table where someone sat reading.

“This is (Y/N). Do what you’re told. I’ll be back ‘round noon to check up on things ‘ere. Or might be back sooner. Don’ know yet.” She eyed him up and down with squinted eyes and exited the back room.

After a few awkward seconds the front door creaked open and closed. Severus stood there doing his best to avoid looking at (Y/n), instead looking down hoping his hair would hide his burning face.

~ * ~ * ~

~ * ~ * ~

A tall boy with long inky hair stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking at his shoes, glancing up at you every few seconds, and clutching his beige tattered bag in his arms.

You set your book down and stood. “Sorry about my mum… She can be a bit…” you shrugged, not knowing exactly what word best described the creature that was your mother. “What’s your name?”

His eyes flashed to your face and back down to his shoes, a light blush spreading over his cheeks. “Severus.” He turned his head to look at the wall of advertisements for new porcelain figures and let his hair fall over his face.

“Welcome, Severus. It’s pretty easy what you’ll be doing. Just… restocking and opening boxes while I dust and sit at the counter.” You turn to face the boxes and brought one down on the table with a grunt. You pulled on the tape and opened it up, taking out the little porcelain figure wrapped in tissue and plastic. “You can just set them on that cart over there and wheel it out into the store.”

Severus looked over at the cart and nodded.

You stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to say anything or ask any questions but all he did was hang his bag on one of the hooks on the wall and avoid your eyes.

“The sheet there says what number box to open and how many figurines to take out every morning. Just… let me know if you have any questions or can’t find something… I’ll be in the front.” You closed the box and headed out, closing the door to the back room and went to flip the ‘closed’ sign to ‘open’.

~*~*~

You spent the hour dusting the figures all over the store before finally sitting down on the stool behind the counter – a little high for your liking – and opened up your book once more. Severus had begun restocking the figurines, preferring to wonder around the store like a lanky giant than ask for your help. You tried concentrating on the words beneath you but watching him struggle to find the shelf full of porcelain ducks while carrying a glossy yellow one with a blue umbrella was entertaining enough.

The first customer of the day came through and bought about six of the forest series figures. As they walked out you spotted Severus’ look of disgust and laughed, catching his attention.

“You should see them over the Holidays. The shelves need constant restocking.” You watched a tiny smile grow and felt the air around get significantly lighter.

“But what are they for?” He stepped closer but avoided your gaze.

You shrugged, “They collect them.”

“Waste of money,” he mumbled and continued finding where the last of the figurines went.

~ * ~ * ~

It was around noon now and like she had said, your mother was back. She pushed the door open with her pink faux-leather purse and sneered at Severus in the corner as he replaced some figures a customer had just bought moments ago.

“Got anythin’ nicer to wear? You’re drivin’ down the prices with those pants of yours. They’re too short.”

“Mum,” you cut in before she could embarrass him further. “No one’s even noticed him.”

She turned back to Severus. “Ever think to tuck in that shirt?”

“No,” Severus snapped. He crossed his arms over his chest, somehow looking smaller than before.

Your mother scoffed and headed to the counter, shooing you out. “Go eat your lunches.”

You jerked your head to the back room, inviting Severus to join you. He shuffled in ahead, going straight for his bag.

You unwrapped the brown bag in the corner and took out your sandwich, turning back to Severus. He was bent over the table scribbling in a journal. You pulled the other chair out and sat down, peering over and seeing it was the beginnings of a doodle.

You watched him for a few minutes until he looked up and closed it.

“What were you drawing?” You finished one of your sandwich halves and waited for his reply.

His eyes flickered to you and he licked his lips, getting ready to answer. “Its… Just nothin’.”

“Your tongue was sticking out… You looked pretty concentrated.”

“I wasn’t drawin’ nothin’,” he growled and put his stuff back in his bag. He laid his head down, letting his hair spread out on the table.

You stretched out your finger and snuck a feel, smiling to yourself. You wrapped your last sandwich half and pushed it up to him. “Want my sandwich? I haven’t bitten it.”

He dragged his face up and looked down at the sandwich half next to his elbow. He looked back up at you and raised his brow.

“Take it.” You nudged it closer.

He took the sandwich and began eating. “I don’t take bribes, just to inform you.”

You gave a giggle and enjoyed the slight blush that spread over his cheeks. “You think I’m giving you my sandwich so that u can show me your art?” You leaned forward and grinned. “I’m just being nice.”

“Nice?” He shook his head, “No one’s just nice.”

“What?” You laughed. “People are nice all the time!”

He turned to you, furrowing his thick brows and leaned in. “Everyone wants somethin’. Even if it’s just to feel good ‘bout themselves.”

Your grin shrunk and you looked deep into his eyes, seeing he was speaking his truth, even if you disagreed. You sat back and mulled over what he said, seeing a bit of where he was coming from. What you didn’t understand is how someone could actually think that.

He set down his sandwich and got up from the table, walking over to the bathroom and locked it. You looked at his bag and thought back to the doodle he had been working on. You looked back at the locked door and back at his bag. What sort of stuff did he draw with a mentality like that? He frowned when he restocked, snapped angrily at people, and believed the world to be selfish.

You reach in his bag and pulled out his black leather journal, opening it from the back forward and flipped through pages until you found the first doodle. It was a scribbled mess, but it had begun to take shape into one of the tiny lamb figurines, cowering from a large grey wolf with an open drooling mouth.

You flipped to the next page and saw a broken stand and a few shattered bottles. The next page was a broken mirror and the next a burning house. The page after caught your eye. It was a swing set in the foregrounds and a group of teens talking by the slides of the playground he’d drawn. All of the teens had smiling faces and ice cream cones or popsicles in their hands. Were these his friends? But why did they look so far away? Regardless, his skills were amazing. Everything looked so detailed and precise.

“Couldn’t resist?” A cold low voice spoke from above.

Severus’ hands came down above you and snatched up his book. You turned around and stood to face him, red in the face with embarrassment and shame.

“I-I’m sorry I… I just… It was only a few pages.”

He was fuming, lips turned down with bared teeth. His eyes glistened as he clutched onto the journal. “You can keep the rest of your ruddy sandwich.”

“No, please. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking… I was just curious and I let it get the better of me… I really am sorry. I swear I only looked at a few drawings. I’m sorry. Really.” You were a fool for not realizing how upset he’d be. You’d thought worst case scenario he’d be annoyed, and once the band aid of you looking at his art was torn off, he’d be more open to going through it with you. Best case you’d put the journal back before he came back and your curiosity would be settled.

He stepped forward, towering over you. “No. You’re not. You got what you wanted… So why would you be sorry?”

“Because I didn’t consider your feelings. I thought you wouldn’t care so much about your art. I didn’t think you’d really care.” You hugged your arms closer and watched his expression change.

His furious black eyes took in your figure and he looked down at his book. His frown turned softer. “I don’t care. It’s pointless to care.”

He turned away from you and walked into the bathroom. Within seconds he was back out with empty hands and left the back room to continue stocking the shelves in the store. You made your way to the bathroom and saw he had turned the faucet on the book, soaking it in the sink.

Tears coated your eyes as you blinked, turning the other pages of the journal and seeing nothing but smeared figures and smudged faces. You hadn’t expected such an extreme reaction… but it was still all your fault. You should have realized some people could be very sensitive about their art… even if you hadn’t seen anything that personal in it.

~ * ~ * ~

The next four hours was spent in silence as you helped in the front desk and occasionally restocked some figurines. Severus had refused to even look at you, keeping his eyelids half closed in boredom the rest of the time and responded to only your mother.

The last customer left, and the shop was ready to close. The next hour was spent dusting and counting money until finally your father’s car pulled up on the curb.

“Time to close,” your mother pushed you and Severus out as she locked the shop door and dropped the key in her pocket.

Severus’ bag was noticeably more empty than it had been when he walked into the shop. You clutched your bag closer and felt the journal you had slipped into your bag. You weren’t really sure what you were going to do with it… but you wanted to make things right with him.

You father honked and your mother and you got in his car, leaving Severus standing outside the shop in the rain. You watched him sit against the door and pull his legs in, resting his head on his knees. Your father pulled away from the curb and you sat back, wondering what to do.

~ * ~ * ~

The night air was cold but the rain had stopped shortly after dinner. You gripped onto the handlebars of your bike and squinted at the signs as you rode passed. The torch in your hand kept flickering and the rows and rows of identical houses made biking all the way to Severus’ house in the dead of night seem like the worst idea of the century.

You kept your feet still as the wheels turned on their own down the hill, taking you to the last neighborhood of Spinner’s End. You stopped a few houses away from the house you believed to be Severus’. You took out the note where you’d written his address and shined your torch at the letters written sloppily on his dented mailbox.

You ditched your bike in a bush across the street and headed to his house. You placed your hand on the gate and breathed out, pushing it open and walking down his cobblestone walkway and up the two steps to his front door.

You knocked a few times and heard a door close inside and then quick footsteps. The front door swung open and a tall woman looked down at you. Her eyes made her look cross, but her down turned mouth gave off a sullen air about her. She looked you up and down and crossed her arms.

“S-sorry,” you stammered. “Can I speak to Severus?”

The woman’s sad mouth turned up at the ends. “Severus? And what would you wan’ with him?”

Did she find it funny you wanted to speak to him? “I’d just like to.”

Her smile pulled up higher to show her yellow crooked teeth. “Run ‘long back to where you came from, brasser. Come back when we ‘ave the money to spend.” She slammed the door.

Your mouth fell open and you backed away, shaking with anger. If you could go back several second you’d’ve hit her long pale face square in the nose. She may not have realized who you were and the fact your mother was currently employing her son, but that still didn’t giver her the right to talk to you that way.

You headed out of their property and noticed a shadow on the pavement coming from the house. You turned just in time to see a dash of black hair as Severus pulled his head back inside his window. You looked at the windows at the front of the house and made sure no one was watching you from there before heading around the brick wall to the left side of the house. Severus was hiding under the windowsill, only the top of his head was visible from down where you stood.

You climbed the low wall and shined your torch on the dead dried grass, spotting a ladder. You jumped down and dragged the ladder, pulling it out as long as it’d go, and propped it up on the side of the house. His window wasn’t that high up and the ladder seemed sturdy enough so you climbed, clutching your bag under your arm as best you could.

You reached the top and looked down into Severus’ eyes as he sat under his windowsill still with a red face. You sighed and looked around his room. His door was closed and it looked safe enough, away from the eyes and ears of his horrible mother.

“Are you going to invite me in?”

Severus nodded and moved back awkwardly, still on the floor of his room.

You threw your bag in and ducked inside, doing your best to not fall on your face. You sat in front of him and pulled your bag close. “Severus, I wanted to talk to you and apologize.” You looked around his messy room. “Though I was hoping to do it at your front door but… I suppose this is still the least weird apology I’ve given in my life.” You smiled hoping to lighten the mood.

He shook his head and pulled down on his hair. “I heard… I-I mean…” He pressed his face down into his hands, hiding his red face. “I’m sorry my mam called you a… She… She ‘ates everyone. Please don’t…” He sighed.

You laughed, “Don’t worry. It’s not like you called me that.”

He looked up and watched you behind his hair as you pulled out his black journal.

“I… was a jerk earlier. I got curious and went behind your back… You don’t deserve that… So… Here.” You extended his notebook out to him.

He pushed his hair back and frowned. “It’s ruined. I soaked it.”

You nodded, “Well… The art is no longer in there. It was really smudged. But I cleaned it off as best I could and spent all evening drying it… The pages are dry and hold pencil led well enough again… See?” You flipped to the first page where you’d written:

‘I’m Sorry I’m Awful

Please Don’t Hate Me.’

He took it and flipped through it, feeling the paper with his long fingers and rubbing at the occasional left over smudge. He looked back up at you with still furrowed brows. “But why? We aren’t friends… What d’you expect to get from this?”

You raised your brow and pushed your hair aside. “Still so cynical. But you’re right. I do want something – Two things actually. One, for you to forgive me. And two, to be friends. You seem pretty alright and your art was really good, from what I could tell.”

His face softened and he looked back at his journal, closing it and placing it between you both. “Friends?”

You laughed. “Yeah. What? Have too many to squeeze me in?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just…” He gripped his knees and bit his lip. “D’you know we go to the same school?”

You blinked, taken completely aback. “We what? Really? I’ve never seen you around.” How had you not noticed him ever at school. It wasn’t that big of a school, and most students knew each other through their parents who most all worked at the mill.

He nodded, bringing his head lower and letting his hair cover his face again. “You’re too popular t’even know I exist.”

You laughed at that word. “Popular? I’m not popular.” You couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“You’re always around all those people…”

You giggled, “They’re just my friends…” It suddenly struck you that he’d been watching you before. As you were cleaning up his journal you had noticed several groups of students he’d drawn. Besides the one at whatever park, some of the settings were school settings. But it hadn’t clicked that it was your school he had drawn. “Severus?”

He looked up, his face was no longer red, but a light pink blush remained on his pale cheeks.

“Did you want to be friends with me before? At school I mean?”

He shook his head.

You frowned, confused about what he was trying to say. If he didn’t want to be friends why was he watching you? Why did it seem he had an interest in you if he wanted nothing to do with you? “Then what? I don’t get it.”

He shook his head again. “Nothin’… I forgive you. You should go before my parents catch you in ‘ere. My mam will lose it… and you wouldn’t want to see that. Things get weird when she does.”

You nodded and stood, zipping up your bag and turned to the window. You wanted to stay longer, figure out what the hell was Severus’ secret. Why was he so secretive!

You swung a leg over and felt for the step, ducking through the window and finding the step again with your other foot. You looked down to make sure everything was okay and took a step down. You turned back and froze. Severus was back to kneeling next to the window and his face just inches from yours.

“S-sorry! I thought I should be close enough to catch you if the ladder started tiltin’…” His cheeks reddened even more and spread to his neck.

You nodded and looked into the deep wells of his eyes, seeing yourself reflected in their dark depths. He got closer, letting you stare at him longer.

Another explanation popped into your head, for why he’d been the one to know you existed despite never having met him. Why he’d observed you with your friends. Why he cared about your social differences….

“Do you have a crush on me, Severus?” you smiled.

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly. The blush that had been spreading down his neck turned red again, and he looked away, giving you a curtain of inky hair. He turned back with more composed features. “Of course I don’t! Why would I? I-I just met you today and… and I was just sayin’ that stuff about school because I-I noticed you once. That’s all!” His voice was deep and harsh.

You rolled your eyes at his weak attempt at intimidation. “Just admit it! Why else would you be acting so weird about being friends and caring about how ‘popular’ I am even though I’m not?” You climbed back up the ladder and pushed him aside to climb back through the window.

He stood and squeezed his hands into fists, no longer cowering. “Just because I’ve seen you ‘round doesn’t mean I ‘ave a crush on you!”

You scoffed. “Do we have any classes together?”

“No.” He crossed his arms.

“Do we have the same lunch together?”

“No.” He started tugging on his sleeve.

You smiled again. “There are over a thousand students in our crummy school and hundreds during lunches and somehow you know I’m not part of those hundreds in your lunch?” You laughed again. “Explain that.”

His face got even redder. “Well.. I-I… I-it…” He shut his mouth and clenched his jaw. “Fine. I DID. ‘appy?”

Your smile dropped. “‘Did’? When… Why did you stop?” Why did you care?

He huffed. “I told you. It’s pointless to care… about you…”

You looked down at his greying socks. You weren’t sure why his words kind of stung.

“Why d’you look like that?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know…” You bit your lip. “I think I… Liked? That you had a crush on me?”

He scoffed, “Why? S’you could feel good about yourself?”

You shrugged again, feeling tears grow in the corner of your eyes and wishing you could escape such an awkward turn of the argument.

There was a long pause.

“D-d’you like me?”

Your head shot up and your faced burned hot. His eyebrows were raised and his crossed arms were loosening the longer you took to respond. “I… might have taken an interest in… you.”

“You’re interested in me?” His face pulled up into a grin suddenly. “Is that what you’re sayin’?”

You scoffed, “I didn’t say that exactly!”

He laughed and stepped forward, still towering over you. “I felt you feel my hair! I was right! I knew it!”

Your jaw dropped and if your face wasn’t red before it was now the color of a tomato. You did remember doing that. “I… I don’t know why I did that!”

“That’s why you want me to admit I ‘ave a crush on you,” he shrugged and stepped back, looking as if he’d won.

“Aha!” You quickly put your finger up. “You DO have a crush on me!”

He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head. “I’ve already won. You ‘ave a crush on me – and you didn’t even realize it.”

What had this day turned into. Being suddenly told this morning you’d have to train someone knew at the store and now it was passed midnight and somehow you’d accidently confessed a crush you’d also gotten today? The day was as messy as the clean up for his journal that now lay forgotten on the floor.

You held your hands up in defeat. “Fine… So maybe I do… But you do too!”

He curled his finger and pressed it to his lips. “Alright… I do…”

You smiled down at your shoes and stood there awkwardly for a minute before decided to just go for it. You stepped forward and kissed his cheek, accidently touching the corner of his mouth and pulled away.

Your face burned. “Ok… Bye – !” You turned and headed out the window, quickly climbing down and let the ladder down on the ground gently.

You climbed the brick wall and looked back up at Severus.

He was touching his cheek as he smiled and waved. “S-see you t’morrow!”

You put your hand to your mouth and giggled. “See you.”

He looked smug suddenly and you rolled your eyes playfully.

You quickly jumped down and ran to your bike, hopping on and peddling back up the hill, trying to pull your giant smile back to normal.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Masterlist

Request: “may I request a muggle young sev x muggle reader please idk a story or headcanon really anything you want I just love the way you write young severus okie dokie thank you for reading 🥺❤” – Anon

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Welcome to General Taglist!!:

@bionic-otp​

@severuslovebot​

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[adie-dee]

@yourocsbackstory​

Previous: Week 0: Introduction Week 1: Fear

Week 2: Joy

PROMPT - Think about your character’s past. When where they most happy? What was the first time they encountered that joy? Do they still enjoy the same things? Is there I moment they carry in their heart and will always go back to? Find an event, that is defining for their relationship with that emotion, and just write about it!

“Hey you!” someone shouted as I walked through the common area of the hostel. “In the grey check pinafore! Come here!”

I scanned the room to see who she was calling to, then looked down at what I was wearing. She wasn’t calling to me, was she?

“Yes, you!” She beamed as she said it, her words punctuated by the giggling of the girl sitting with her. “Come sit with us!”

This was new. In the week I’d been here no one had spoken to me, not even the girls in my room, but to be fair, I hadn’t really encouraged them to do so either, sneaking in when it was too late for them to be awake, or being in bed when it was too early for them to be back. Don’t get close to people, Mum had taught me. It would only lead to pain.

But what was the point of me running away from home if I was going to continue living by Mum’s rules? And anyway, she only told me not to get close or to trust anyone. That didn’t mean avoid people entirely.

Decision made, I joined the two girls.

“We’re not interrupting plans, are we?” the second girl asked, brushing back her short, bright green hair out of her face. “You looked like you were going somewhere and Jess here can be real pushy when she wants to be.”

“No,” I replied, fidgeting with the end of my braid. The green looked amazing, and I wondered what it would look like if I coloured my hair like that too. Assuming I even could colour my hair. “I was just going to go for a walk.”

“What, at night?”

I nodded.

Jess’s eyes widened. “Alone?” 

“Is that--wrong?” I asked.  I liked my walks, and the freedom that came from being alone in the city. And it was best at night, too; the city lights sparkling above made me far happier than the stars over my parents home ever had. But from the shock on everyone’s faces, and the disbelief in their tone, I got the feeling it wasn’t something most people did.

“It can be dangerous,” the green-haired girl warned. 

“According to my mother,” I replied, “everything is dangerous.”

“Yeah but--”

“Shh Rhi!” Jess admonished. “You don’t need to scare her! I mean, I wish I was brave enough to do that! It’s actually really inspiring. Really.”

It sort of felt like she was picking on me, though I wasn’t quite sure how.

“I like people watching,” I said, feeling the need to explain myself. “And it’s freeing. There’s no expectation or obligation from anyone. You get to live in the moment and just be…”

Rhi picked up the bottle at her feet and had a swig. “That’s deep. I like it.” She took a sip then offered it to me. “You want some… sorry, I just realised we didn’t ask your name!”

“Britany,” I stated, maybe a little too quickly, and I hoped they couldn’t tell I was lying. “What is that?”

“Tequila. Have you not had it before?”

I shook my head. At home it had been common for me to have a small glass of wine with dinner, but my parents had never let me near spirits. I held out my hand to take the bottle.

“Just have a sip,” she told me.  “It’ll probably--”

“It’ll be fine,” Jess interjected with a grin. ‘Go on, try!”

Whatever bad experience she was trying to hide was unlikely to happen to me, so with no hesitation I lifted the bottle to my lips. 

Warm and with a hint of a threat, It tasted like how fire felt, and I immediately drank some more.

“Slow down!” Rhi squealed. “Too much will give you a hangover!”

“What’s a hangover?”

Both girls giggled. “You really don’t know?” Rhi asked, continuing when I shook my head again. “Like a self-inflicted sickness that makes you wish you were dead.”

Jess took the bottle from me. “And tequila causes bad ones,” she stated, grimacing at her sip. 

I eyed the bottle, wondering if I could have some more. “Then why drink it?”

“Because drinks in clubs are expensive, and this shit is cheap.”

That was news to me. “So you’re going to a nightclub?” I asked. I’d tried to go to one recently, but after queueing for an hour, the doorman had refused to let me in.

Rhi nodded. “Yeah, did you want to come? There’s plenty of people in there to watch.”

“Or kiss,” Jess interjected.

“Or more, if you’re into it.” Rhi winked at me, and I felt my insides warm. “Do you have anything to wear that doesn’t scream conservative schoolgirl?”

Now my blush was because of embarrassment. “No, everything is like this. And I’ve tried going shopping but all the cute clothes cost so much!” It had taken all my self control to not buy anything. If I did, I would run out of the money I took from Mum way too quickly.

“No matter, I have something you can wear,” Rhi said, standing up. “And assuming you’re not hungover in the morning, I’ll take you to this great op-shop near here. I’ve gotten loads from there. Loads.”

I jumped to my feet, excited by the prospect, then immediately sat down. “I want to but I can’t,” I whined. “I… lost my identification last week and they won’t let me into a nightclub!”

Jess narrowed her eyes. “You are eighteen, aren’t you?”

“Yes of course!” I insisted, not lying for a change. “My birthday was last week.”

She frowned, eyes still narrow while they searched my face. “Ok, I believe you. And I have a spare ID you can use. The club we’re going to don’t really look at the cards, just just want to see that you’re holding one.”

Rhi clapped her hands together, grinning. “This is great! We’re going to have a great night. And if any skeezy guy tries to make you do anything you don’t want to do, you come to us, ok? We’ll deal with him.”

“No one can make me do anything I don’t want to do,” I told her.

“That’s the spirit!” She took my hands and pulled me to my feet. “Now lets get you glammed up. Come on!”

I followed her to her room, beaming the entire time. Disregarding Mum’s advice was the best thing I’d done yet.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 207 prt 1

207

Lotor was still a sack of shit. Keith managed to get him pinned, then the arsehole had pierced his side with his nails, fangs bared and irritation in his eyes as he stared down at Keith. The pain causing him to shift back, Lotor finding it amusing in causing him to yield, but he’d get him back. Dragging himself to the showers, the amount of blood running down the drain was alarming. Keith really wasn’t used to these kinds of wounds not being fatal. It was tiresome to have to spar in cheap shorts because the moment he shifted his clothes were ruined. Lance had taken him op-shopping. Proud that he was getting the hand of letting the shift happen. Keith didn’t think he was getting the hand of it. He only seemed to be able to shift when he was training... and then it’d taken days to be able to do it again after his first wilful shift... that he didn’t remember.

Leaving the shower, still bleeding, Keith nearly had a heart attack at Krolia sitting on the bench in front of his locker. His mother were a concerned look, that took a long moment for Keith to work out. A hot shower on top of blood loss was a silly idea. Instead of feeling clean, he felt faint

“Mum?”

Lifting the first aid kit beside her, his mother was creeping him out with her concern

“I thought you could use some help with your wounds”

“Oh... uh, they’ll heal”

Krolia sounded almost disappointed in him as she pointed to the spot next to her. He wasn’t getting out of this

“Humour me”

Be fussed over by his mother was different to being fussed over by Shiro or Lance. Lance kissed his wounds, before he cleaned them up and told him he was proud that Keith was making progress, even if he hated seeing him coming home bleeding. Shiro went to fretting and wondering if he needed stitches. Krolia went to the alcohol wipes that made him yip

“Sit still you big baby”

“Stop poking at them. They’ll heal”

“You’re very lucky you’re a wolf. You’d be dead if you were still human”

Rolling his eyes, he knew that. He knew that a hundred times over. The fact his body healed was so damn weird

“Tell me something I don’t know”

Dropping the wipe she’d been assaulting his right hand side with, his mother pulled him into a hug that left him still. He didn’t move to return the hug, nor did it feel like a nice loving hug... No. This was the kind of hug he’d gotten from Lance after his accident. The “I’m worried about you” hug that made his heart race

“Mum?”

“I want you to stop training with Lotor”

She what now? Blinking half a dozen times, Keith wrinkled his brow

“Mum, you know I’m okay...”

“I know, but I can’t stand it. I’ve been watching your training sessions with him... Keith, it scares me. I don’t want that kind of violence for you”

“We’re training...”

“You’re fine the way you are. I know you’re a skilled hunter, but every time I see you covered in blood, it hurts. I know it hurts Lance too. He called me in tears the first time it happened. He’s very proud of you, and he’d never tell you not to train. I’m very proud of you. But I think you need to take a break for a little while. You can go on patrol with Shiro, just... please... I know you heal, but I’m scared you’ll go too far”

Keith was shaking. He’d worked his arse off for this. He had yet to actually beat Lotor, but he was getting to know how his wolf. He was getting to be less scared about what he was now. Now Lance was having secret conversations with Krolia, while telling him to his face he was proud of him... and his mother was telling him not to fight? She’d fought every day of her life in more ways than one...

“I don’t get it”

He simply didn’t. He was strong. He was fast. The wounds healed. And his ego agreed with him. They could do this

“Keith... I overstepped. Just... I want you to be careful. You’re my son. I am so proud of you”

Why did it feel like there was a “but” to that?

“But?”

“I know I was never a good mother. I guess seeing your father again reminded me of a time when I didn’t have to fight... Let me finish cleaning you up”

“Mum, I’m okay. Training with Lotor is helping. It means I’ll actually know my limits in the field and be able to protect Shiro and Curtis”

“But who’s going to protect you?”

He didn’t have an answer for that. His ego said he didn’t need protecting. That they were better than those humans. The thought upsetting him as soon as it crossed his mind. Shiro was his brother. His pack. He has his back more times than Keith had hot dinners. Maybe... maybe he was getting too cocky? Maybe... he was being mean and didn’t know it? He and Lance hadn’t been very intimate since he’d started training with Lotor... Was Lance thinking he didn’t want to touch him?

“Keith?”

“I’ll think about it. You don’t have to worry about dressing the wounds. Lance will take care of it at home”

He wanted to go home to his fiancé and talk this out. He thought Lance had been proud of him. Not running to his mother because he couldn’t face him. Lance said he understood Keith’s fatigue... He’d said he was proud... Honestly, Lance not being honest upset him far more than Krolia telling him to stop

“About that. Yeah, Lance isn’t at home right now. I picked him up earlier and now he’s with Curtis and Shiro”

Had he fucked up? Why wasn’t Lance at home

“What do you mean he’s not at home?!”

“You don’t need to yell. Rieva was a little worried about him, and I wanted to borrow him anyway. He’s fine. Rieva couldn’t very well to his future mother-in-law needing to borrow him, not when I said I’d bring him to Platt”

“Mum!”

Rieva was Lance’s babysitter. He’d lapsed back into barely being able to keep his eyes open again. The female werewolf was sure labour would be coming on soon, Lance cut her down by saying he was exhausted from her and her birthing plan. Keith was exhausted from hearing about the birthing plan... and he wasn’t the one doing any of the hard work. Frankly she was slightly scary

“Again with yelling!”

“You can’t go stealing Lance”

“I didn’t steal him. Anyway, he’s safe. I needed to borrow him for the afternoon, actually, I needed to borrow both of you. Preferably for the night according to Matt”

Matt couldn’t go kicking them out their own home. Frankly Keith had enough to deal with. He wanted to hurry up and buy Lance the engagement ring already, but the engagement ring had to be the right ring. It had to match his plans for his replica of Mami’s ring. Lance never mentioned it, but he’d noticed that his fiancé had had a sad look on his face as he looked at Rieva’s new bling. They still hadn’t told anyone... and for Keith, the novelty had started wearing off. He wanted to scream and shout they were engaged... but until he got a ring for Lance, they’d only cop judgment from their friends.

“He can go fuck himself”

Three werewolves were not meant to live together when they were all worried over Lance. Matt had ever started trying to feed Lance, sacrificing his precious food to Lance who only felt worse and worse each time he did

“Don’t be like that. He’s planning Lance’s surprise baby shower. Pidge is in charge of the entertainment and drinks. Hunk and Shay are doing the catering. Rieva is decorating, and Matt is providing the muscles. Allura and Coran are going to drive down in the morning. Thankfully I had a valid reason for needing the both of you, so it all worked out rather nicely”

“Do I get to know what this reason is?”

“I think it’s better I show you rather than simply tell you”

His mother was enjoying this. Keith huffing at her in annoyance. Now his talk with Lance would have to wait, and his stupid ego would be all bent out of shape as it did. He really missed being a human.

*

Krolia sprung another surprise on him. He’d thought his mother had her own apartment in a seperate part of the city. Not her own apartment a floor below where Shiro’s apartment was. Confused at why they’d gotten off a floor early, the only thing that kept him huffing about it was subtle traces of Lance’s scent in the hallway. Lead down to one of the anonymous doors, Krolia took delight in opening it

“Welcome to my apartment!”

The place was decorated the same as theirs. The same primary colours, accented with black and white. Her sofa was black, instead of red, but for the most part it was disorientatingly similar. Sitting on the sofa, Lance was asleep against next to Curtis who had his arms around the vampire’s shoulder

“Hey, Keith. Come on in. Lance’s been out for about half an hour now, and Shiro’s upstairs”

Curtis’s familiarity with the apartment annoyed Keith. As Krolia’s son, he didn’t understand how he was the last to know she lived right below him. He didn’t want to deal with her shit

“Fuck this. I’m going to get my bike”

As he turned, Krolia sidestepped. Grabbing him by the wrist, he was propelled into her apartment and the door closed behind the pair of them. The look in his mother’s eyes told him he had to stay, no matter how he might feel about it

“Thanks, Curtis. I’ve got it from here”

“No worries. You know, you could have told us you actually lived her”

Kroli shrugged, smug as she did

“I would have, but none of you thought to ask”

Why did he keep letting Krolia do this to? He’d never understand her sense of humour

“Mum, you... why do you do this to me?”

“I’ve got 20 years of mum jokes to make up for. I can, and will, have this. Can I get something you something to drink?”

“Can it be alcoholic?”

Something strong. Something that burned on the way down. Something that’d make him forget his weirdo mother’s excess of weirdness and soothe his annoyance with the situation. Krolia laughed far too hard

“Keith, you my son, are a funny one. Go save Curtis from Lance and I’ll whip up something up to go with our drinks”

Taking Lance from Curtis, Lance barely stirred. Slurring his name, he smiled at Keith as if he hadn’t seen him in years, not a few hours. Snuggling into him, the vampire sighed in content. Lance wouldn’t lie to him, Krolia had to have misunderstood. Stretching, Curtis shot them both a smile. Keith not matching it as his lover smelt too much like everyone else

“He’s had some blood from a bag. He felt a bit warm earlier, so I don’t know if he’s coming down with a fever, or if he’s just super tired. One moment we were discussing our show, and the next he’d fallen asleep”

“He does that. Thanks for watching over him”

“It’s fine. He seems a bit stressed about what’s happening at home. When you’re done here, come on up. I’m going to grab some blood bags before I go home”

“Thanks. That’d be handy. How big is the party going to be?”

“Not that big. Pidge has been warned against loud noises. Hunk was having a nervous breakdown over the cake, but I think he’s got that sorted now”

“As long as he doesn’t go overboard”

“With three werewolves to feed, I don’t think even Hunk can over cater. I’ll give you our gift when you come up”

“Nah, save it until tomorrow. Lance will get suspicious if you’re suddenly giving us gifts”

“Provided he can stay awake long enough. Is he okay to be sleeping?”

“Yeah. From what we can tell it’s a pregnancy thing. I’ll keep an eye on him and call Coran if he does develop a fever”

“Okay, then I’m off. I’ll see you tomorrow, Krolia!”

“See ya, Curtis!”

Left alone with Lance in his mother’s den, Keith stroked his fiancé’s hair. Fresh blood would help perk Lance back up, but his mother seemed uncomfortable when he fed him, plus he’d kind of lost a fair bit thanks to Lotor. He could imagine Coran in there scraping his blood off the training room floor for testing, the werewolf’s nose wrinkling at the thought of it all. Lance could have told him if he’d acted out, or if his ego had been being mean to him. He could have told him if he was scared of who, or what, Keith was becoming. He’d nearly given up, then Lance had encouraged him to keep going... Maybe it was a hormone thing? Like when Lance had cried over the puppy in a TV commercial the other day...

Attempting to be civilised, his mother brought him out of his thoughts by placing down a serving tray with two coffees, a tea, and an unopened packet of biscuits. Squeezing herself onto the sofa, Krolia slung her arm over Keith’s shoulder

“This is nice, isn’t it?”

“That you’ve been hiding you’ve been living here? Or that I’ve got no idea what’s going on?”

He and Shiro might be hopeless decorators, but they’d managed to make the apartment feel like theirs. Krolia’s apartment lacked all the personal touches he’s become used to... plus there was a disturbing lack of fur over everything

“Both. Both is good. Now, I know I’ve ruined your plans, but I’ve got something to show you”

“It better be good. Lance should be sleeping in a proper bed”

“You can put him in mine, if you want”

“Lance is fine right here with his Keith”

Poking Lance in the side, Keith kissed Lance’s hair as he did. Mumbling Lance was a sleepy Lance

“You’re supposed to be sleeping”

“I am... can’t you tell?”

“Oh, yes, babe. 10 out of 10, best sleeper”

“I feel sick... you smell like blood”

Lance must have felt too sick to praise him for his monster dick. Thank god they weren’t having that conversation in his mother’s apartment

“Lotor got me again”

Lance huffed, nosing into Keith’s chest right near where Lotor had got him in the left side with his thumb nail

“He sucks... get it, because he’s a vampire and a wanker”

“I get it. Do you want to wake up for me? Or do you want to sleep some more?”

“Cuddles and awake”

“Okay. You going to sit up?”

“Nope. Sorry for interrupting you”

“You’re fine, babe. Mum was about to cut the crap and tell me what she wanted to show me”

“Oooh... I wanna see. Can I see?”

Krolia tried to crane past him to see Lance, Keith shifting slightly to angle his back more towards her as a barrier between the pair of them

“I thought it best that you were to see it with Keith. Are we ready?”

“Yes, please”

“Hiiiiiiii, Keith. Hey, mummy’s big boy... Hello my love. Joe, he looks just like you. Look at him. He’s got your frown. Aw, Keith. It’s okay. Daddy isn’t very scary. No, he’s not”

“Krolia, I think you’re scaring him with the camera”

“You shouldn’t have let me buy it if you didn’t want me using it”

As his father laughed, baby him let out an unhappy cry. His father rushing to hush him as Krolia’s laugh crackled.

Bundled in his father’s arms on screen, Keith had to keep blinking away the tears in his eyes. His dad. His dad was there... The camera footage was old and grainy. He looked thoroughly unamused at Krolia poking the camera so close, but... it was him. Him and his dad. His dad...

“H-how...?”

“After Lance had cleaned I managed to find these in Joe’s closet. They were down the bottom in a box without any labels. I didn’t know what was on there until I dropped the tapes in to be put on DVD... You always hated having a camera anywhere near you when you were a baby”

“Dad...”

“They could only recover footage from two of the tapes. I kept the lot, in case one day they find some way to pull the videos off... You were such cute baby. You never liked having your nappy changed. The moment the cloth touched your balls, you’d scream and scream as if I was trying to murder you”

“You would too if someone was putting a cold cloth on your balls. I didn’t know you and dad had a camera”

“It was a gift. Nothing fancy and certainly not new... I’d forgotten about it. I didn’t see it at the house, so I’ve got not idea what happened it to. Things weren’t like they are now. We didn’t have video cameras in our palms”

He and Lance agreed to keep photos of the twins off social media. Lance had seen a really messed up case during his last time through university. How the law failed parents who posted photos of their children online where they could be seen by less than desirable people. The thought revolted him

“How old was I?”

“I’d say you’re about a month or two. You got a lot more photogenic as you got older. The other video is when you’re 4”

The first video was only 5 minutes long. A really silly video of his dad trying to settle him while Krolia laughed at all his fussing.

“Keith. Hey, Keith, what are you doing?”

Younger him gave the camera a toothy grin, missing his front two. He was so small. His eyes as purple as ever

“You came off your bike and knocked them out. Joe rushed you to the doctor. You were more concerned with not being able to have homemade lemonade than about losing your teeth”

“Keith, I’m talking to you”

Young Keith was as done with Krolia’s crap as he was. Holding his purple hippo, he was twisting himself back and forth, showing off for the camera as he whined directly at the lens

“Mum, I’m waiting for dad!”

“You’re waiting for daddy? But he’s at work”

“I know he’s at work. I’m not dumb”

Huffing, young him pouted, stomped his foot and crossed his arms.

Lance snorted at him, his hand squeezing Keith’s gently

“You haven’t changed one bit. You’re so adorable”

“Wasn’t he? He loved that hippo so much...”

“Guys, I’m trying to watch the video”

He didn’t want to watch himself, but he did hope his dad would be in it. Having been warned, Lance and Krolia shut up.

“I didn’t say you were. You can do just about anything, and I think you should take me on a tour of our house so I can show daddy later”

Young him huffed again

“That’s dumb. Dad knows where everything is, mum. He’s not like you”

He was a vicious little shit

“You’re really mean to me. Don’t you love, mummy?”

“Not when she’s asking stupid questions...”

Oh god. Keith’s cheeks were flaming with embarrassment. Krolia laughing on the video

“Okay. Okay. Mummy obviously doesn’t know best. Why don’t you do a dance and I’ll film you?”

To his horror, young him shook himself out and danced on the spot. Lance laughing at his “dancing”. Finishing, he stared up at the camera, when Krolia didn’t say anything, he did it again. Parents shouldn’t be allowed cameras

“That’s my boy. Are you sure you don’t want to show me around?”

Pushing his finger to his cheek, he twisted it on the spot as if he was thinking “seriously”

“Are you going to get lost if I don’t?”

“I might”

Sigh dramatically, young him rolled his eyes heavily

“Fine, but you’ve got to remember this stuff, mum. I can’t remember everything for you all of the time. It’s too much”

Young him took them on a tour of their home. Bragging about his dad being a firefighter who rode in a huge truck. His favourite toy being his hippo, but he also loved his toy cars and had kicked a hole in the wall of his room when he’d been put in a time out. He sounded like the spawn of Satan. He definitely had far too much sass for a four year old. Krolia repeatedly scolded for her questions, laughing at him every time he got cranky with her. Seeing the house lived in, he could see the love. His things were everywhere. His “art” pinned to the fridge. Krolia slipping on his discarded skateboard, swearing loudly as she caught herself, young him happy to parrot the bad word then question why it was a bad word if mummy was saying it.

As young Keith concluded his tour, the door to the shack opened. Krolia forgotten

“Daddy!”

Rushing to his dad, the camera was placed down, the video slipping sideways as his father scooped him up.

Keith’s heart ached. His dad was everything he’d hoped he’d be. Everything he’d said he was as he passed from home to home. Yet he barely remembered him. The sound of his voice filled with so much longing to reach through the screen and hug his dad.

“Hey, kiddo! Did you have fun with mummy today?”

“Mum said “Fuck””

Young him giggled at the word as his father huffed

“I’m not surprised. Hey, hun. I see his fever went down, he’s still a bit a warm”

Krolia entered the video, his father wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the top of her head

“Yeah. You wouldn’t have known he sick last night”

His father hiked him up on his hip, kissing Keith’s forehead

“He takes after you. Don’t you, kiddo?”

“I wanna be like daddy. Mummy is weird”

His father laughed, Krolia moving away from them

“She might be, but if you keep saying that you’re going to make her cranky”

“She’s scary when she’s mad...”

“I can still hear both of you. I think this means no dessert for either of you tonight”

Krolia moved back to the camera, the last shot was of him throwing up on his dad and bursting into tears.

A long moment passed into two. Lance grunting as he wiggled himself forward on the sofa

“Babe?”

[ah-sh1t-here-we-go]

Welcome to Therapy

Hi, hello, welcome. Today I’m gonna talk about everything in my life that sucks. Feel free to come along for the journey. 

Let’s start with the obvious: Covid. Greetings lockdown #973, oh how I’ve missed you. Now here’s the thing, generally speaking, I rather enjoy lockdowns. It gives me an excuse to work from home and just not leave the house. My ferrets get to be out of their cage a lot more, I get to cuddle with them a lot more. It’s a great arrangement. I also don’t have any friends here (which is another therapy point that we’ll get to) so restrictions and shit don’t bother me. But this lockdown in particular couldn’t have come at a worse time. 

My birthday is June 2nd and I had some great plans. I was gonna go book shopping, op shopping, I had an appointment to get my septum pierced, I was gonna take myself for some nice lunch. Guess I’m not doing any of that now. Oh, and my mum was gonna fly over from Perth to visit too. So, I can kiss all of that goodbye. And this isn’t the first birthday I’ve had to spend alone because of Covid. I had to spend my 21st alone last year too. So this is great. 

So, that sucks. But you know what else sucks about this lockdown? I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT THE FUCKING OFFICE! Why?! My boss was like “*british man voice* oh, fantastic. We get to keep working from the office because that was one of the exceptions.” So I don’t even get to have extra ferret cuddles! What a load of bullshit! 

I mentioned having no friends earlier. That’s going to be therapy point number two, let’s go. I made the dumb decision to move to Melbourne in March last year just before Covid really hit. Now, yes, I will be using that excuse as to why I still have no friends here. It sure isn’t because I have the social skills of a turnip and the confidence of a squirrel. Ordinarily, it doesn’t bother me to be alone but I went to SupaNova on Saturday and that was really upsetting. 

As a little bit of backstory, I have been to every SupaNova/Comic Con since I was 14 with my family and my friends. I would go with my mum, step-dad, little brother, and like 3-6 friends. I’d never been to a convention by myself until Saturday. I didn’t cosplay either, which was also a bit weird. Seeing everyone else there so happy and loud with their friends really made me feel so alone. Being in a place I’d never been before also made me nervous. Unfortunately, to compensate, I spent way more money than I should have and fed the capitalist worms that eat my brain. 

Saturday was a particularly hard day because that was also the day my family dog was put down. I’ve already made a post about him but he was my fifth birthday present so we had him for 16 years. I knew he was on the way out when I saw him last Christmas but having Mum tell me that he was finally laid to rest has really affected me. I start crying randomly. It’s like I just spontaneously remember that I’m never going to be able to see my dog again. It hurts but I know it’ll pass. 

My home life hasn’t been great at the moment either. Which probably sounds ridiculous considering I live alone but it really has been a struggle. I have no motivation. I can barely get myself to do things that make me happy, let alone cooking for myself or cleaning up after myself. Don’t even get me started on the state of the things the ferrets have touched. Last night, I didn’t make dinner. Not necessarily a problem but considering I didn't have lunch or breakfast either I’d say it’s a bit of an issue. I took myself to bed at 7 after a shower because “there was nothing else to do”. Obviously not true. I couldn’t sleep either though, and my stomach starts to give me the worst pain by 9pm. I still didn’t want to cook so I just made one of my microwave meals. I couldn’t finish eating it though, it was too much. 

I just think that when you can’t even be motivated to watch tv someone thing has to be wrong and I can barely get through an episode. 

[official-archivist-keith]

Keith sat down with the paper and the statement before turning on the tape recorder. He took a breath, he was starving... hopefully this would help.

"Statement of Sunil Maraj regarding their work as a security guard and the disappearance of their co-worker, Samson Stiller. Original statement given 3rd April, 2011. Audio recording by Keith Kogane, the Archivist.

Statement begins."

"So I lost my job last week. I mean, I quit, they didn’t fire me or nothing. But you know how like sometimes you quit because you want to, and sometimes you quit because you’ve got to? Well, this was the second, although I’m not gonna pretend I’m not glad to see the back of the place.

It’s ‘cause I kept asking about Samson, you know? And what I saw. And they really, really don’t want me to make a stink about that. Because if he just disappeared one day, didn’t come into work, that’s fine - I mean, not fine for his family, obviously, or the police who have to find him, but fine for the company. If he disappeared at work, though - if what I think happened is even close to what actually happened - then that’s real bad news for them, and opens them up to all sorts of lawsuits and liability.

I mean, it’s fine, I can get other jobs, and it’s not like I really want to be working there after what happened, but I just wish someone would take it seriously. It’s messed up, and I’m having a real hard time getting out of my head.

So, I work security right? Used to be, a company or shop would have its own little security force they put together, did all the in-store and CCTV vigilance stuff. These days, it’s all centralized, though. You tend to have a building or a shopping central contract all the security work out to a single company, who’ll then cover all the businesses or shops. It’s easier, from a centralizing point of view, and cheaper, if that’s what the owners like.

But it does mean that there tends to be a lot less stability and how it’s all structured, personnel-wise, at least. If you’re lucky, you’ll be assigned to a post and stay there for years, getting to know the place, the systems, your co-workers. If you’re unlucky, or there’s contract difficulties, you could easily end up moving through two or three different places in as many months.

That was kind of the case for me and Samson. We were the odd men out in a lot of ways. We’d originally been brought in for a big corporate office block near Liverpool Street, but there’d been some problem and the whole place had to be closed up for months. Samson said they found asbestos, I heard it was a lease issue, but it doesn’t really matter. Point is, they hired us for a job that no longer existed.

I expected they’d just get rid of us, but I mean to their credit, they did try to do right. They did their best to fit us in with other security teams: I mean, over the last two years we did a couple of data centers, a digital marketing hub - whatever that is - three different office buildings near Kings Cross… trouble was, every time, almost as soon as we got there, there’d be some personnel changes, or expiring contracts, or some other trouble, and generally, as the last in the door, we were the first to get reassigned. Started to feel a bit like we were cursed, you know?

Samson took it harder than I did. I mean, I’m young, my mum’s got a flat in Hackney, and to be honest, most of my evenings are out with friends or in with black ops, so the moving around was pretty much fine with me. Sam had a three-year-old, though, and lived way down in Morden, so being thrown from one post to another all the time was really kind of getting to him. He tried to talk to me about it a few times, but honestly, we weren’t that close. Or rather, we were close because we’d always worked together, but we didn’t have a huge amount in common. I mean, I tried to talk to him about football for a while, but I think he could tell I was talking out of my ass. Anyway, point is, when we were reassigned to a shopping centre in Stratford, he wasn’t in a great place.

Now, I’m not sure I can legally name the shopping center I was working in to you guys, but let’s just say it wasn’t the Westfield. It was old, clearly been around decades, and the security systems really showed it. I mean, one of the shops still had the original alarms from the late 70s, and plenty of them still had cameras that recorded to VHS, for God’s sake.

The security office was a mess. The company I worked for - again, dunno if I can legally say them, but you can look it up, you know - they have a package where they replace all your equipment and systems with the stuff we use. It’s not cheap, but it’s worth it, if only because we all know exactly how to use that stuff.

Whoever was running this shopping center had very much not opted for that particular contract. I mean, the teams before us had made a valiant effort to centralize and integrate all the feeds and setups into just the one control room, but… damn, that place was a mess. Flat screens, next to banks of old CRT monitors that some of the cameras had to feed into, next to racks of channel banks, and a few actual, honest-to-god computers, that tried their best to wrestle everything into something that was almost usable.

I found it properly overwhelming, didn’t like the place at all. But Sam actually seemed to get on with it pretty well almost from the get-go. He’d apparently been an engineer back in the day, and something about all those old surveillance systems, all tied together, all wrapping into and around each other like some weird nest of cameras… it seemed to really appeal to him. The first week he was there he spent almost the entire time playing with the system and the wiring… left me to do most of the other work on my own. Well, I mean… there were the other guys working there, of course, but even the ones who’d been there awhile started to get the picture and gave Samson a bit of a wide berth after a few days.

He really did seem to get the place in a bit better order. I mean, some of it, only he really understood, but soon enough it actually made sense - what we were watching and when - and he managed to get rid of some of the delay, so that we even managed to catch a couple of shoplifters.

There was only one piece of equipment that seemed to give him any trouble. It was this old Tecton multicamera recorder from the late 80s, managed the feeds for one of the various budget shoe shops that lined the promenade.

It didn’t seem all that complicated when you just looked at it, but trying to use it was an absolute nightmare. None the buttons seemed to do exactly what you wanted them to do, and there were all sorts of sequences where pressing a button, holding a button, pressing it three times, all that - they’d all do really different things.

Sam spent almost a whole month wrestling with it, before he finally cracked and he asked Dave - the bearded old guy who we all sort of assumed had been there the longest? - whether they still had any of the old operating manuals.

I remember the smell of dust when Dave went and cracked open the filing cabinet in the back room, before waving his arms in the direction of the drawer and shrugging. I mean, I’d have just left it, obviously, but I think Samson was taking the whole knowing how the system works thing as like - a point of pride? Something he could salvage from the whole situation. Just a way of getting some control over his life, you know?

So he found the manual. More of a pamphlet, really. Can’t have been more than ten pages of A5 in the whole thing, yellowed and water-damaged. Well-used, though. Someone had even put their name in the front, like they were afraid people were gonna steal a manky instruction book.

Still, Sam just couldn’t put it down. I mean, it was like 10 in the morning when we finally found it, and when I went in at 2:00 to see if he’d taken his lunch break yet, he was still sat there, just staring at it. I mean, I’m not a fast reader, or anything but that’s a lot, right?

And like - okay, so this is the part that you’re definitely gonna think I’m having a joke with you, but I’m honestly not, I’m dead serious. Because I saw some of the pages over his shoulder, and on one of them there was, there was a picture of me.

Like, a black-and-white photo of my face. I didn’t get a good look, but it certainly wasn’t one that I remember having taken. Not that would make it any less weird for it to be printed in an old CCTV manual from back when I was doing nappies. And I’m not making it up, I swear.

Then Samson turned, and he looked at me, and I don’t know, I got real spooked. His eyes were all - messed up. Like, weird. And glassy. It was really, really freaky, and I just turned and I got out of there. That wasn’t the end of it, though. If it had been then sure, maybe I write it off as a weird dream, where I was tired or whatever, but no. Because from that point, on Samson just gets creepier.

For a start, he’s always at work. I mean, we’re not always on the same shift, so it takes me a while to notice, but when I ask him about it, he just says that our schedules must have synced up weird. But whenever I arrived, there he was, staring at the monitors, watching all the people come and go, his eyes wide like he was drinking it all in. And whenever I was there late, and it was my turn to close up, he’d always say that he was happy to do it, say I could head off a few minutes early.

So, I never actually saw him leave. I tried to stay once, said I needed to do it myself, but he just got real quiet, like… real quiet, and stared at me.

The bank of monitors was behind him, and I’m just trying to come up with something to say, get him to talk to me… and one by one, they began to just wink off, turning dark.

And I got this feeling, deep in my gut, that if that last monitor turned off, then something really bad was gonna happen to me. It was one of the old CRT sets, big, and bulky, and the picture on it was never that clear, but for a moment it looked like it was me on there. Staring right back at myself as the screens slowly went black, getting closer and closer. The face on the monitor looked absolutely terrified, and I was starting to feel it myself.

So I just tried to smile, told him not to worry about it, and I headed out as quick as I could. My legs were shaking so hard I almost fell on the way out.

Then there were the actual cameras. I mean, you work in a shopping center, obviously you do a bunch of shopping there. I used to get my lunch, for one, and usually pick up any of the essentials I needed. Sometimes, if I was feeling hard done by and it was payday, I might buy myself a new shirt, or a game, or something.

And obviously, because I work security, I know where all the cameras are. where they cover, even how they move. A lot of them are completely static, just pointing at one place. But gradually, I start to notice something when I’m shopping. It’s like a tickling, creeping sensation all over the back of my neck. Like I’m being watched.

So I start to keep an eye on the cameras when I’m in the shops, and you know what, I’m right. They’re following me. Whenever I look at them - doesn’t matter where it was they were meant to be aimed - they’re always focused right on me.

I keep staring at them, moving around, and they just shift to keep the lens pointed at me. But they’re not articulated, they don’t have any motor or swivel mount they just… move. Pointed right at me.

One time, when no one in the store was looking, I threw a can of deodorant at one of them. Hit it square on. Samson wore sunglasses for the next two days, and when I caught a glimpse of him without them, there was a crack right down the center of his eye.

I tried to talk to the others. I’m pretty sure that they were getting similar weirdness from them. they were all jumpy and nervous those last few months. But I was known as Sam’s friend. We’d come in together and everyone just assumed we were close. When I started to ask about it, about what was going on, they just clammed up like I was trying to get them in trouble. My nerves were all shot to hell.

I wasn’t in work the week he disappeared. I’d called in with a bullshit stomach thing. I just needed a break, some time to get my head right. It was almost working, you know? A little distance, a little space to relax. I was starting to feel good.

Then I got the call from Dave. He was frantic.

I couldn’t make out half of what he was saying over the bad line, but he kept saying Samson’s name. Asking me if I “knew,” if he’d “told me.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but he kept screaming at me. He kept saying, I must know, he must have told me what was going on. He kept saying, “what do we do with his eyes?”

I mean, I didn’t know what the hell to say, I just went quiet listening to Dave as he started sobbing down the phone

“He won’t stop,” he said. “We can’t get rid of his face.”

I hung up. And Dave was gone when I went back in. A bunch of them were, all quit suddenly. I wanted to check in with them, find out what happened, but we’d never really been friends, and I didn’t know any of their details.

I never saw Samson again, either. Though, I did find his old work shirt in the back. It was torn to shreds, wrapped around that old instruction manual. I put it back in the filing cabinet, and I threw the shirt away.

I tried to stick around, to do my job, but I was asking too many questions for the folks upstairs, I think. I wanted to know why Samson hadn’t signed out of the building before he disappeared. Why, no matter who tried to reset the system, it always logged back in as him.

Why, whenever I was watching the monitors alone, I’d see him on that old CRT screen. Staring right back at me. Quietly calling for me to join him."

"Statement ends." Keith let out an exhale, "Much better..."

@zombieapocalypsekeith

[maggie-m89]

2. 08/02/2021

I have two older siblings, my sister who is 12 years older than me then my brother who is 5 years older than me. My sister and I were super close when I was younger, maybe helped by the fact she moved out and had her own family when I was 7, but my relationship with my brother was always a crazy one. We would fight like cat and dog, typical brother and sister fights that only got worse when I hit my teenage years but he was still my brother so it was a definite love/hate deal for both of us.

However, on 1st December 2009, that all changed forever!

My brother had an appointment at the hospital for what we assumed was just a post-op check up after having his tonsils removed. As I sat on the sofa when he got home, the words he said echoed in my head. “They say I either have or have had cancer...” This was the disease that took our dad from us 15 years prior and now, my head was a mess thinking it was going to take my brother from me! My mind was racing as the tears fell from my eyes but my mouth had no words. That’s when my brother got me to look at him and simply said “I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to beat this!” Even in that moment when he should’ve been worried about his treatment, he was trying to comfort and protect me.

As he left with our Mum to let other family members know, I went to my room to process what I had just been told and remembered a song that would help me do just that. Save You by Simple Plan was written while the singer’s brother battled cancer and I somehow found comfort in those lyrics as I listened to it on repeat.

The months that followed were hard, I won’t deny that! But I found strength in that song and my brother’s warped sense of humour kept us all going throughout his chemo and radiotherapy. During one of his hospital stays, I went with our Mum to visit him and the opening lyrics repeated in my head on the long drive from Irvine to Glasgow. “Take a breath, I pull myself together. Just another step until I reach the door. You’ll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you.” I knew I had to pull myself together and not let him see how much I was hurting to see him so fragile. Funnily enough, that ended up being my only visit because he didn’t want me to be around all that since I saw enough at home. That also ended up being a visit that we laughed about because a mix up saw him missing dinner and we ended up finding a random chip shop in the middle of nowhere and eating it in the car with 5 inches of snow everywhere before he checked himself back into the hospital.

Thankfully he made it out the other side and kept his promise to beat it which I am so proud of! The treatment may have had some life changing effects which of course we joke about because we both still have a warped sense of humour but the experience made me appreciate all the things that used to annoy me and brought us closer as brother and sister. Even after 11 years, I’m thankful every single day that he’s still around to crack short jokes at my expense or just sit and have a chat with me about absolute nonsense.

[letyourimaginationgo]

Olivia Potter Chapter 3

If you have not read my previous part I would go read it

Olivia Potter Part One  

Olivia Potter Part Two4

_____________________________________________________________

Chapter 3  Diagon Ally

The boys snarled at each other in hatred. Wait did that blond boy just say, potter. Like as her birth name. "Boys is this how you act in front of a young girl. Cause if that so I'm out." She went to walk away when the blond boy Malfoy grabbed Olivia's wrist and spun her around which almost made her fall. "Now that the second time you make fall within the span of five minutes. So, get your prepubescent hands off me." She gave him a look that could kill. He released her immediately. "Better. now, what your name be?" she straightened her clothe and folded her arm waiting for her answer. "I'm Draco, Draco Malfoy and that's Potter, Harry Potter." He snarled. "Nice to meet you Draco, my name Oliva Carter and I don't appreciate people who speak for others that can clearly speak for themselves." She looked at him then looked at the brown-haired boy with round glasses "Nice to meet you, Harry. Now if you'd pleas move along; I'm waiting for someone." She looked at Potter knowing that he is the one that she is waiting on. "By my assumption, you two are Hogwarts students so Ill see you there. Now bye." She waved to them and turned around to look at her mum who looked stunned at what just went down. The two boys took the hint and walked away and like on cue Harry came back around the corner. "Sorry about him he thinks he's all-important because his family is pure blood." Harry said and moved towards the entrance to Gringotts "Come on then we got to get you some money to pay for all your things." He gestured for Olivia to follow "Harry." Someone yelled from behind Olivia Harry looked past her and to a young bushy-haired gill that seemed to be his age. The girl had caught up to them "Hermione, I'll be with you guys at the book shop in just a minute I just need to get some Gallons and make sure that Olivia's heir gets heir's as well." "When have you started to show around muggle-born children Diagon Alley?" She asked but before Olivia could answer Harry chimed in "She is not a muggle-born witch. Sheismysister." He said fast and under his breath. If you were not listening to the conversation you would have had no clue as to what he had said. Hermione turned to Olivia "Oh heavens, I'm so sorry. I'm Hermione Granger Harry's friend. My parents are non-magical. Your name is?" "I'm Olivia Carter for now I will tell you my full name later when there's not as many prying ears around. Over there is my adoptive mother. She is still in shock." "I've got an idea why don't you bring Miss Carter with you to the bookstore so she can meet everyone and will be right behind you." Suggested Harry "That's a great idea. It was lovely to meet you and see you later." Hermione set off with Miss Carter to the book shop. The siblings made their way into the bank it was big Olivia did not know where to look so many things. Harry must have noticed Olivia staring at the workers "I had that same look on my face last year, their Goblins. They don't have the best moods in the world, but they are great with money." He explained and they walked up to a goblin and ask to make a withdrawal the goblin brought them to their volt where Olivia out that her parents had a sizable amount of money stashed away they took what they needed and made their way to the bookstore where it was packed with witches and wizards shopping. When Hemione spotted them and ushered them to a family of redheads "These are the Weasley. There is Molly, Arthur, Percy, Fred & George the twins then there's Ron and the youngest who will be going to Hogwarts this year as well. They do have two more siblings that are older Charlie and Bill." Harry said and pointed to each Weasley. "Hello, nice to meet you all." Olivia waved to the family "Oh how lovely to meet you finally Harry has told us all about you." Miss Weasley embraces her in a loving hug "I want to make one thing clear my house is always open for you at any time. You understand?" she looked at Olivia with so much love. Olivia just nodded in agreement. Then the crowd of witches all started to squill and swoon as this man came out of an archway "Who is that?" Olivia asked Ginny "that is Gilderoy Lockhart he's the author of this book that mother is fond of." Ginny motions to the stack of books on the table "Mum fancies him" Ron chimes in which lands him a little slap from Miss Weasley. Then the man meets Harry's eyes and pulled him towards him and took the opportunity to take a photo op with him and gave him his whole collection free of charge. In the muggle world that is what they like to call publicity stunt. After that ordeal everyone made their way out of the crazy crowd to be met by Draco and what is clearly his father "Bet you liked that Potter. Can't even go to a bookshop without making the front page" he spewed the word toward Harry then his father stepped in and started to criticize the Weasley and her brother. Olivia was standing behind the twins but could hear everything, so she pushed her way through "Ah I see where you get your manners from now Draco. It explains a lot. If you would not mind, I've got quite a lot of things to get for school so if you could go bake to the hole you just crawled out of and get of your high horse that is lovely. Bye see you at school Draco." she waved goodbye with a sad sarcastic smile. They went on their merry way "Okay first off your amazing and second can we adopted you." one of the twins said and gave her a side hug. Olivia picked up all the books she needed and more then she was off to Madam Malkin's for her robes then to Ollivander's for her wand. While at Ollivander's Harry had stepped out and had gone to get his little sister a pet Owl as a gift like Hagrid did last year. All she needed now where a cauldron and other school supplies. Once all done Harry and the Weasleys went home to the Borrows they had invited Olivia, but she best felt that she should go spend the rest of her time with her adoptive family. Hermione also went back home with her parents who Olivia learned that they are dentists. She gave Olivia clear instructions on where to meet her on the day that they needed to be on the train and not to be late. Olivia and her mother made their way through London with the things that she had bought. Her dad and sibling had met them at kings' cross station where they hoped in the car and went home. The day whipped Olivia out it took her all of 3 minutes. She woke up on the sofa in her house "Oh honey today took a lot out of you and you were so peaceful in the car so your father carefully transferred you. Supper is on the table if you wish to join us. I think your siblings have some questions to ask you." Olivia got up and joined her family ate the diner table "So what do you want to learn?" she asked. They asked her about the money if there is any modern technology and plenty of other questions. After dinner, Olivia showed her things to her family and she also got a trunk that had appeared miraculously with her name on it and everything. She pulled out her quill and parchment and started to practice by sending a letter to Harry and one to Ginny because if she is to use it during school for her notes and course work it has to be legible. She placed the two sealed leather in an envelope and sent Annabeth on her way to the borrows. The rest of the summer Olivia spent her summer writing letters and reading some of the books that Hermione recommended to her. She also peruses through her school book so she would know a little bit of the wizarding world so she wouldn't be too lost.

[hibiscus-hijinks]

Meet Laureline Schmitt, my applicant for @eeriesims‘ Clary! I’m sorry I’m so bad at editing pfffttt. 

P.S, outfit shown is her “date outfit” hehe <3

All the details are under the cut :o)

The General Deetz:

Name: Laureline Schmitt.

Birthday: Currently 28 years old, born on the 23rd of June 1991. 

Astrological Info: Cancer sun, Scorpio moon, and Scorpio rising. 

Myer-Briggs Personality Type: INFP-A

Species: Human but has witch-blood on her mother’s side which she’s very proud of.

Height: 5’7, but does stretches she found on the internet every night before bed in the hopes of becoming taller.

Sexual Orientation: Lesbian; doesn’t matter if you are cisgender or transgender, she just loves all the ladies. 

Gender/Pronouns: Female, she/her pronouns. 

Nicknames: Bun by her parents and close relatives and usually Laurie and Laurel by everyone else, but she really doesn’t mind. 

Occupation in Glimmerbrook: She markets herself as somewhat of a “Ghost-Whisperer” - basically, she just helps the Glimmerbrook residences with any haunted house problems and is skilled at settling any issues between the living and dead to help maintain balance in the community. It combines her love of people, her good mediating skills, and her life-long fascination with ghosts. She isn’t paid super-highly considering the amount of work she puts in, but she just really enjoys her work. Her aunt always offers to send her some money here and there but Laurie is good at staying afloat. 

Hobbies: She enjoys collecting antiques and fun knick-knacks, not necessarily for the purpose of curating and selling, but it does give her comfort to know she does have a flow of income to fall back on if it ever came down to it. She also enjoys reading and baking and all the nice homebody things. 

Fun Facts:

1). She really loves anything peanut-butter flavoured (PB and J? Pssshh skip the J! On second thought, maybe even skip on the bread…..).

2). She religiously wears the green eyeliner her aunty gave her back when she was a teenager (yes she’s used the same eyeliner for 10+ years…sure, her aunty who’s a witch did put a never-ending spell on it but on the other hand GROSS!).

3). She HAS to go for a bike every night after dinner….if she doesn’t she can’t sleep. 

4). Broke her nose as a kid when she tried to walk through a brick wall like the ghost character in her favourite show….she did not succeed but she now has a funny ice-breaker up her sleeve!

5). Is a firm believer in ditching the bra. 

6). Her dad took her to get a tattoo when she was 18 and it doesn’t really have a particular meaning, she just thought it looked cool. 

7). Laurel is not all too fussed about fashion, like the outfits she pulls together aren’t show-stopping, but she always likes to match her headscarf to whatever she puts on that day.

8). Her wardrobe is made up of exclusively op-shop finds and hand-me-downs from her aunt and mum. Well, apart from shoes, because she has quite wide feet. 

9). She’s been a vegetarian for as long as she can remember; she never liked how eating meat made her feel, and she has a love for all animals, especially cats…..and frogs!

10). Speaking of cats, she does have a little black cat named “Bazzy” short for Basil whom she treats like a toddler (yes she did specifically adopt a black cat for the #witchaesthetic).

Questions, Questions, Questions!:

1). How did Laurel meet Clary? 

Laurel was out on her usual evening bike-ride. As she was coasting past the public library, her eyes were drawn to the entry of the building. Specifically, someone going down the steps. Someone she’s never seen before. Laurel watched as the dark-haired beauty looked up, locked eyes with Laurel, and flashed a bright-white smile. All the way home, Laurel’s mind was cloudy as she replayed the moment. She didn’t really know what she felt about the girl she later learned was named Clary, but boy was she intrigued. Over the next few weeks, Laurel began noticing the newcomer as she ran her errands; it's not that she was too shy to say hi or anything, but she just enjoyed admiring her from a distance. 

2). What was Laurel’s first impression of Clary?

In the moment, she was a little stunned by Clary; not necessarily in a “love at first sight” kind of way, but stunned nonetheless. It wasn’t one thing that caught Laurel’s attention, but a culmination of details; something about Clary’s whole aura just really drew Laurel in. 

3). Laurel’s ideal dates?

Laurel finds people, including herself especially, are less awkward when they have something to do, an activity, to help ground the date, therefore for Laurel the perfect first-date would be biking to a beautiful private spot of Glimmerbrook for a picnic and a deep chat. 

If this is say the third or fourth date she’d be more than eager to invite them over to her house for a movie night complete with caramel popcorn made on her wood-burning stove, or going to the beach to explore around the caves in Glimmerbrook and have a swim. 

4). What’s Laurel’s ideal relationship?

In a romantic relationship, Laurel seeks a balanced give and take dynamic; while she loves to give and do for others, she does appreciate being cared for too; in the past she has been taken advantage of because she is so giving. Another thing Laurel really needs in a relationship is the opportunity to explain herself; she knows she can be a bit unaware, and most of the time her intentions are 100% good. She also would like someone who matches her calm energy and optimistic view on the world. Laurel is very positive and forgiving to herself and others, so negativity will start to weigh down on Laurel and cause her a lot of pain. She also wants a loving relationship, as Laurel herself is a very loving person, which has turned a couple of people away as she can move a little quickly in a relationship in some ways, even though she takes life so carefully usually; she just wants to hurry up to the ‘married for 40 years and we still lie in bed in the morning telling each other why we’re thankful for their existence’ kind of stage. 

5). What’s Laurel’s Personality Like?:

Laurel is a very calm and loving gal. One of her big strengths is being able to objectively look at things and shrug negativity off; say if someone at the fruit shop yelled at her for using the scale because she didn’t see the sign asking customers to not use it, she’d just apologize, explain it was a simple mistake, and move on with her day; she’s usually not a dweller, she prefers to focus on the present. 

She isn’t very adventurous, and doesn’t like to travel very far from Glimmerbrook, its her home. She thrives on the happiness of the people surrounding her, and does her best to make everyone happy, and is the perfect shoulder to cry on. 

She doesn’t like complicatedness, she likes a breezy life, so she can have the tendency to distance herself from people who are hot and cold type of people, or people who don’t make their intentions clear, and can be impatient with people who take longer to open up, but she’s gotten a lot better over the years at being more open-minded and aware of others more nuanced feelings. 

On that topic, she can struggle to see things from other’s pov in the sense that she can’t fully understand that not everyone can be as optimistic and idealistic as her, which is probably her worst flaw in a lot of ways. 

[starryknightace]

I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

[[MORE]]

Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[benscursedkid]

Are you still doing the prompts thingy? May I request Felix x MC + 1...? You’re really good at writing!

of course you can!! i really appareciate it and thank you for requesting!!

trust me

felix x slytherin!mc!reader

words: 7.5k

genre: fluff, angst

warnings: (mention of??) major character death

a/n: as i stated before, when concerning a prefect, someone you only interact with if you are in their house, the mc in the piece will be in the same house as the prefect!! also!! these prompts are specifically designed to break your heart... so hopefully you’re prepared and hopefully i did them justice!!

also: i did take some creative liberties with the rosier family tree. i’m not quite sure where felix fits into it all, but being a rosier canonically makes him closely related to some of the op series characters and i wanted to play around with that. hope you all don’t mind!!

"I promise you, just trust me.”

It’s what he said to you when you’d met him again after graduation. It wasn’t planned, quite honestly, you weren’t even sure you’d ever see him again. He was a school crush, a lone part of your childhood that wasn’t tainted with pain and regret. He was a small flicker, the timid burning of light in the midst of all that’s gone wrong in your life until that point. If you were honest with yourself, you were glad that you ended things— not that there was much to end —like you did, able to keep that memory and acknowledgment of him in tact.

So, it was a slight understatement to say you were surprised to see him again, a little older, barely wiser, and freshly twenty years old.

It was December and the wind had begun to kiss your skin harshly, hitting and nipping at your cheeks in earnest. You huddled deeper into the warmth of your heavy winter coat, cursing yourself for opting out of wearing a hat. It whistled vioently in your ears as you searched for your solace in the form of the cozy bookstore peeking into your vision.

You make a beeline for the doors, your entire body immediately shuddering in relief upon entrance. A gloved hand flies up to your cheek and rubs furiously in the hopes to warm them, even if only a little.

The store clerk welcomed you charitably, a soft smile on his face and you returned it as best you could with a face still half frozen. Then with a pleasant nod, you disappeared into the throngs of bookshelves at the display, raking your finger down the spines as you passed.

Each title and set of initials blurred together as you disregarded them, a specific book in mind. Looking briefly above you at the surprising height of the shelves, you took a moment to admire the expansion charm cast on the shop, thanking Rowan for reccommending this place. Christmas shopping had never really been your forte, but thankfully, your mother had dropped the mention of her need for a new copy of her favorite book, her own having been worn and torn for a good while now.

It was as a certain title caught your eye when you heard your name, the voice confused, barely above a whisper.

On instinct your head shot up, your brows already drawn together. And when your eyes realized what they were seeing, they squinted, as if unsure the vision in front of them was really something produced in reality.

He was wrapped in the most formal overcoat you’ve seen so far this winter, the intricate black velvet traveling all the way down the length of it. Underneath was the softest looking grey jumper you’d ever seen and you had to refrain from reaching out to feel for yourself. His hair, as you always remembered it being, was perfectly slicked back, not a single strand out of place.

He was also older, you noticed, which of course you knew but it was more so something you felt than saw. You felt it in the silence that captured you swiftly after, in the weight of it hanging off both your shoulders. You felt it in the way he stared at you, definitely wiser and with many more experiences and first-hand accounts. His curious brown eyes sincere as they take you in for the first time in years.

“Felix?” You queried, even if there was no mistaking the man in front of you, the hint of a smile teasing your lips, something born of fondness and reminiscence.

His own lips twitched, almost as if the action were something unfamiliar. He nodded.

A small breath, akin to a chuckle escapes and you have the urge to hug him, greet him as old friends would, but you stop yourself. You don’t quite know what you were back in school, or now, but whatever it was, seven years without any contact can surely dull the the faint connection. Even as you look at him now, the memory of what you felt for him is simply that, a thing of the past.

“Wow,” You allow, little shame in the way your eyes take him in in recognition, with a tiny dose of interest. “It’s been a while.”

“Seven,” He mumbles in reply, the hint of rose on his cheeks. “It’s been seven years.”

“That’s right...”

Your words trial off and the two of you are left standing in moderate silence, the air around you heavy with recollection from your teenage years, both of yours. When you dreamed of freedom and a family in tact and he all but survived off coffee and two hours of sleep, worries of the future persistent and prominent.

Idly, you notice the book forgotten in his hands. Les Misérables. You smile.

The sound of him clearing his throat startles you back to reality and your gaze snaps back to his.

“Are you holiday shopping?”

He swallows the strange lump in his throat and his stare bounces, refusing to settle in a single spot. You wonder if you should be concerned by how endearing you find the idle action.

Nodding, you gesture to the books around you, not quite sure what to do with your hands. “Mum needs a new copy of her favorite. I’m just trying to find it.”

This time he smirks, no longer withholding the twist of his lips, the kind that you remember used to always succeed in picking up your heart rate. It still has some effect on you, something you’re not certain you’re comfortable with, but it’s far less drastic than it was when you were thirteen.

“Do you still like that muggle author?” Comes his response, dripping from his lips like honey; slow, sweet and a secret to share between you. “Austen?”

You’re about to laugh, hardly able to believe the fact that he remembered something so trivial, when you realize you never told him. You frown.

His pretty brown orbs ask a silent question and you decide to join them. “How did you know I liked Jane Austen? I don’t think I ever told you, as far as I can remember at least.”

“Oh, well, you feel asleep reading Mansfield Park in the common room at least five times a month,” He laughed, a light, airy sound that rings nicely in your ears like wind chimes. “It wasn’t difficult to figure out.”

A laugh of your own tumbled from your lips, stiff and haphazard, but genuine all the same. “I’m just surprised you know Austen.”

Felix shrugged, his shoulders lolling lazily. “I didn’t at the time, but I thought if you loved it so much then it must have been worth a read.”

An eyebrow quirks. “You like Jane Austen?”

“I like Mansfield Park,” He corrects and you roll your eyes, but your smile still sticks to your skin.

You consider teasing him further, but your common sense stops you. Instead, you opt for something else.

“I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Me, too...”

For a moment, all is still. Felix’s eyes seem transfixed, charmed in a sense. A light mirth dances behind his iris, a look you like to think he doesn’t give out to just everyone. The way they gleam, stars reflected inside from the candles lighting the shelves running a shiver down your spine.

You open your mouth to say something else, you don’t know what, but you’re sure you’ll figure it out, when he adverts his gaze down to his watch. A sound of shock leaves him and his lips tug downward. He curses.

“Is something wrong?”

He glances back to you, a regretful quirk of features protrude. “No, I just— uh, should get going. I’ll be late for work, but it was... nice seeing you again, MC.”

You can’t help the upturn of your lips, no longer attempting to hide it. “You, too...”

He fidgets, his fingers twitching, his eyes skittering over to the door, the thought of arriving late obviously weighing heavily on his mind. Still, he bites his lip— an action you’ve never seen from him before —and shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“Will I, uh— will I see you again?” He ponders, gaze much more hopeful than it was a few minutes ago.

Without even needing time for thought, your head bobs of its own accord. “I hope so.”

A brilliant grin engulfs his face, his entire expression lighting up at the thought.

Your knees go a little weak.

“Then I’ll see you around...”

And he did.

It had taken him almost an entire month to ask you out on a proper date, one that consisted of a bit more than just stolen glances and poorly disguised smiles, on Christmas Day. It tumbled clumsily from his mouth in a subtle panic, the apples of his cheeks red, and this time not from the bitter cold, but instead the way you broke into a dazzling smile.

It was certainly unexpected, the chain of events that suddenly began when you ran into him that fateful day, but you suppose the best things never are.

It’s what he said to you when the rumors started.

You’d been together for a year now, your anniversary having just passed. You remembered why you fancied him back in school, though truth be told, you never really forgot.

Felix was just so different from anyone else you’d ever met, even back then. He wasn’t a man of grand gestures or romantic schemes, but a collector of smiles and little moments. Things you mention mindlessly in passing, jokes you manage to get out through heaps of laughter, and tiny, little infinitesimal insecurities muttered in the middle of the night; those are the things he stores away, remembers for safe-keeping.

Oh, yeah you suppose the fact that his little half-smile is the most endearing thing you’ve ever seen helps, too.

For the first time in years, you find that you couldn’t care less what the future looks like. So long as Felix is there beside you, whatever it is can’t be that bad. It’s something you didn’t think you could feel, not after Jacob at least.

You thought that trust would forever be an issue with you, something you just wouldn’t be able to get past, which is why it came as a shock to you to realize that all the walls and barriers you’ve built around yourself for years seem to simply bow to him. Just being near him causes them all to shiver, tremble in his wake, their exteriors much more brittle than you recall them to be. It’s incredible, to feel this way; lighter and complete and dizzy with happiness.

And it scares the hell out of you.

Though, you muse, isn’t that what love’s supposed to do?

Looking back, you should have known it wouldn’t last, nothing good ever does. You knew that. You knew that but you dared to hope, dared to ignore the voice in the back of your head, the one that screams from past experience and heartache to just… stay on guard. But you refused. You’ve already played the cynic, wasn’t it your turn to be the dreamer?

“You see the ‘prophet today?” Talbott asked, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him, putting down his half eaten lunch- a measly six inch sandwich he’d thrown together this morning before bolting out the door for work.

Swallowing your own food, you shake your head, the only other employee aside from the two of you taking their leave from the ministry’s break room.

The animagus frowned and pulled out his own copy from his overcoat, the page folded together in nine perfect squares. After successfully unfolding it, he slides it across the small table to you, rightside up for you to read. Your eyes catch on the title, everything else blurring into a jumble of illegible signs and symbols.

“DIGGORY BOY DEAD, “VOLDEMORT RETURNS!” — CLAIMS THE BOY WHO LIVED”

You glare at the print in front of you, as if the ink itself had offended you. The words stare back at you, unyielding.

Talbott reaches out to take the paper back, observing you carefully. Snapping back to reality, you shake your head.

It’s then that you notice the slight, almost unnoticeable shadow cast under his eyes and the anxious sag of his shoulders. He’s jittery, you realize, recalling his unsettled actions from earlier this morning.

You lick your lips hesitantly. “Talbott—”

“Do you think it’s true?” Frowning, your head tilts in confusion. Your friend sighs. “Do you think he’s really back?”

Taking a deep breath, your eyes wander back to the article. Supposedly penned by Rita Skeeter, you’re sure it’s a huge exaggeration to say the least, but she also seems to be on the ministry’s side, which happens to be against Harry Potter’s.

You decide to tell him the only thing you can.

“I don’t know,” You explain, Talbott’s face crumbling with worry. You know it’s not what oh wanted to hear, it’s not what you wanted to say, but it’s the truth. You can’t lie to him. “The ministry hasn’t exactly been the most reliable source these days, we both know that, but Harry’s just a kid, Tal. I mean, how old is he? fourteen?”

“You were fourteen,” He insists, his tone unsteady and uncertain. You’ve rarely seen him this way, you think, afraid and riddled with worry so heavy his cares go out the window.

You don’t like it. This kind of feeling never looks good on anyone.

“You were fourteen,” He repeats, a tired hand taking through his hair, causing the strands to tangle and tumble every which way. “When you entered the third cursed vault, having battled several boggarts, an ice knight, an acromantula, a cloaked figure who tried to kill you... so why is this so hard to believe?”

He’s right. You know he is. And for the second time today you wish you could give him the answer he wants, the answer he needs, and again you can’t. This friendship of yours, as slow as it started, has become one of the most important things in your life and it was built on honesty. So if you couldn’t give him what he wanted to hear, the least you could give him is the truth.

He’s staring at you when you finally relent and his eyes hold the most unlikely mix of dread and foolish hope.

“Because I don’t want to.”

That conversation sticks with you for the rest of the day, your attention stolen by all the possible things that could be happening out there in the current moment.

Is Voldemort sitting with his allies, his most loyal followers, and planning his revenge? Is Harry Potter at school, attending his classes with a pretty mouthful of secrets? Or maybe he’s at a funeral, with a heart full of regrets for a passed friend? And the rest of your friends, have they heard the news yet? Are they as afraid as you are? As guilt-ridden as Talbott?

Then a last thought crosses your mind.

Is Voldemort out rallying his followers?

It makes your blood run cold, the image flowing through your conscious not one you particularly enjoy. Would he come after Felix, the son of a known Death Eater?

It’s these questions that plague you when you return home, tired and stressed and oh so worried. You want to smile when you see Felix’s shoes in the entry, able to deduce that he’d got off early, but you can’t. Not today.

You maneuver your way around the half empty moving boxes, your place an utter mess. It looks like a tornado flew through here but at the moment, you had other things in your mind.

Like your boyfriend, sitting silently by the window, cold, abandoned coffee at his side.

He must have heard you come in, you decide, probably having heard the door open and close. Though, if he’s aware of your presence, he doesn’t show it. He simply stares out the window, small and withdrawn.

Growing restless in the quiet, you speak up first.

“You’re home early,” You announce your observation, putting your things down on the sole couch in this cluttered space. “How was work?”

A beat passes and he says nothing. You don’t make him, knowing that he’ll speak when he’s ready. You’re proven correct moments later when his deep voice responds, hoarse and heavy.

“They gave me the day off,” He replies easily, his eyes refusing to part from the view before him. “Said I could use it to get my thoughts together.”

It’s then you realize he must have been sitting there all day. No boxes have been unpacked, his shoes practically untouched and his coffee left forgotten. You wonder where his thoughts have been.

You stop to ponder your next move, contemplate which approach would get you closer. To him, and how he feels, and what he thinks will come.

However, he doesn’t give you the chance, tossing you a copy of the paper Talbott showed you earlier that you didn’t know he had. Its crumpled and torn, as if he’d been clutching it all day, wishing he’d read every word wrong. You know you do.

“I expect you’ve seen it then,” He declares, his voice low and even, calm despite what you know is probably weighing on him. It would unnerve you if you didn’t share the same habit. “You’d have said something by now if you hadn’t.”

You don’t try to deny it, there’d be no use. Instead, you ask what you’ve been dying to since you walked in.

“Do you think they’ll look for you?”

You blink. Once, twice.

“Yeah,” He still doesn’t face you. “Probably.”

You let out a shaky breath, but stumble over to him nonetheless. You take a seat next to him, slowly so as not to startle him. You skip a glance at his profile, slightly shadowed with the dull grey of the dripping sky which seems to reflect the day’s spirit.

Without a word, you look to the view. “What are we going to do?”

It’s only now that he turns his head, his brown hair a scattered mess and his drooping sad eyes fading no better. Your heart breaks just a little in your chest.

“I don’t know.”

You gulp, but nod along without much choice. There’s nothing one can say to that, not really. So, in lieu of coming up with some hearted variation of “we’re gonna be okay”, your palm finds his cheek, your thumb rubbing soft loving circles into the skin. Felix leans into the touch, his head gentle rolling onto your shoulder.

Together, the two of you sit like that for the remainder of the day, listening to the rain pitter patter against the window like tears, trying not to think of what’s to come.

And the morning after, once the sky has finished crying and the two of you have taken another step closer to accepting the today’s truth, he finally says it. Slow and sweet like honey in your ear, "I promise you, just trust me, MC. We’ll be okay.” You know he’s lying, but you choose to believe he’s not.

It’s easier that way.

It’s what he says when they come for him.

Harry Potter is fifteen now and things have only gotten worse. The ministry has taken over your old school, fired half the staff, and even managed to chase Dumbledore out. You never thought you’d see the day that man steps down, but you suppose nothing is inevitable.

Things at the ministry are much the same. Everyone is on edge, no matter whether they believe Harry’s claims or not, the place is a mess. Those that disagree are fighting regularly and everybody is becoming increasingly more paranoid, even you. Felix has made it his life’s mission to ignore it all, pretend all is as it used to be. He tells you it’s because he refuses to let another war ruin his life just as things started looking up, and quite frankly you agree.

So the two of you don’t talk about it. His family is never mentioned and especially not his parents. You don’t blame him for wanting to get away, if they were your family, you’d do the same. Instead, you go to work and act as if everyone else is just drunk on fire whiskey. You find the time to go out on dates, visit your friends and pretend everything isn’t falling to shit. It’s the only thing you know how to do at this point.

Currently, you’re busy cleaning the last of the mess left by your friends. Angelica had her birthday yesterday but insisted that it be held at your place. Felix wanted to decline, plan it at Chester’s or Penny’s, but you were able to convince him. Your place was the biggest, so it only made sense that you hold it there.

Still, you can see now why he was worried.

There are half eaten cupcakes and gift wrapping everywhere, frosting stuck to your counter and confetti in every nook and corner.

You pout, not looking forward to a morning of cleaning everyone else’s mess. Felix chuckles, amused. “C’mon, I’ll help.”

And with that you get to work. It takes a while, but you enjoy yourselves, a muggle radio playing music for you to listen to as you work, taking short breaks to laugh and mess around.

It’s just past noon when everything is clean, your dishes and rags all put away. Sharing a high five, Felix tells you to change and you can go out for lunch. Excited, you head over to get dressed.

Surpringly, you finish before he does, him needing extra time to fix his beloved hair. This leaves you to wait, twiddling your thumbs and tapping your foot impatiently. You’re about to shout, ask him what’s taking so long when there’s a knock on your door.

Curious and without much else to do, you stride over to the door. Glancing though the peep hole, you see something you never thought you would. Or, maybe you did, you just didn’t want to accept it.

Standing there behind your door is a man and a woman. A man and a woman whom you notice are entirely too familiar. A man with long white hair and stoney grey eyes and a woman with elegant black curls and lips dark and pursed.

“We know you’re home,” The woman drawls, rolling her eyes impatiently. “Just open up, dear.”

Realizing you don’t have a choice, that these are people you just can’t refuse, you steady your breathing. A hand rests on your chest for a beat.

You open the door, gingerly, cautiously.

Swinging the door open, you’re greater with the same sight, not that you expected anything else. The man smiles upon seeing your face, a twisted, charming smile that leaves bile in your mouth. The woman cocks her head, studying you for only a moment before grinning similarly, but with much more mirth and malice.

“Lucius,” You acknowledge with a curt nod, formal and cold. You refuse to to give your thoughts away. “Bellatrix.”

“MC,” Lucius greets customarily, his eyes appraising his surroundings. “Good to see you again.”

Briefly your mind wanders back to when you were introduced, fleetingly exchanging pleasantries at a dinner party for the ministry before being swept away by your respective company. you try your best not to grimace.

“You as well,” The lie drips easily from your mouth as if it were something you’ve always known. You think perhaps you have. “Pardon my blantance,” you lick your lips, never one to beat around the bush, drawing Bellatrix’s attention back to you. “But is there a reason for this particular visit?”

Lucius’ lips quirk, a smirk begging to settle on his face, silently impressed with your boldness. Meanwhile, Bellatrix refrains from scowling, but the way her eyes settle on you in dark disapproval is enough for.

Without wasting any more time for small talk, Lucius clears his throat. “Is Felix home?” He questions, growing tired with formalities himself.

Your heart drops, your blood runs cold, and you swear something in the house breaks. The security, the hopefulness, the dream, the unanswered wishes. Something that you haven’t realized you’ve been clinging to until now.

Squaring your shoulders back, your eyes steeling over and your expression hardening, you take a step back, allowing them entry. Bellatrix strolls ungracefully in, not even bothering to hide the way her face twists with dissatisfaction. Lucius’ brow arches before he, too, makes his way inside.

The woman strides past the shoes placed so obviously by the entryway, walking around to observe the minimal decoration you have set up around your abode. Malfoy, on the other hand, spares it a glance, a brief consideration, then takes a cautionary seat on the couch. With that settled, you excuse yourself to yours and Felix shared room.

You knock sagely on the door, waiting until he opens it with a grin, his hair finalized and his spirits high, completely unaware of the pressing situation accommodating itself in your living room.

Upon noticing your expression, he frowns in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“We have company,” You settle with, sharing with him a distrusting look.

Without further prompt, he takes your hand and leads you into the next room.

Two heads turn in your direction when you return, and you can feel the way Felix stiffens, his hand squeezing yours just that much tighter. You squeeze back, a subtle reminder that you’re still here and luckily it seems to calm him some. At the very least he’s able to nod respectfully to your company in greeting, a charming yet painfully artificial smile tugging at his mouth.

“Hello, Rosier,” Malfoy welcomes him, standing to offer your boyfriend his now outstretched hand. Felix takes it delicately, shaking his hand with a firm grip. “It’s been a while.”

“That it has,” He agrees, nodding more so to himself than anyone else. You stare between them silently, your eyes fleeting over to Bellatrix still in the corner every so often. “And it’s not like I don’t adore your company, Lucius, but MC and I have prior arrangements.”

Malfoy hums in understanding, the baritone of his voice flowing smoothly between the empty space. It sends a shiver up your spine. “My apologies, regretfully we weren’t able to offer a notice of our arrival in advance but we were only given our orders this morning.”

Our orders.

Orders.

This was it, isn’t it? The moment you’ve been trying for so long to deny, what you’ve been ignoring since the start. They’ve come for him, haven’t they? That means the rumors aren’t just rumors anymore. Voldemort’s alive... a war is coming.

Coming.

You breathe in, your mask still held perfectly in place. You will not allow people like them to see through you, it simply isn’t an option. They won’t detect your fear or you be damned.

Felix seems to make the same assumption, an epiphany running haywire behind the dark hues of his chocolate irises. He chuckles.

“Oh really, is that so?” It’s a laugh this time, fuller than his minuscule chuckle, broader, coaxing. Challenging. He walks over to the counter in your kitchen, leaning coyly against the marble. He smirks. You wait. “I didn’t think Lucius Malfoy took orders from anyone.”

It’s a ploy, so arrogant and obvious, you’d have to be deaf to think otherwise. His tone is lilt and measured, calculated and dangerous. The deep rumble settles in his chest and briefly you wonder if he’d give the same tone to Voldemort.

Because that’s exactly what this is. The Malfoy’s haven’t visited Felix since the death of his cousin, Evan, upon Narcissa’s insistence. It’s a shame really, Felix rather liked her, far more than Bellatrix anyway. With Bella gone, Evan dead, Andromeda disowned and Narcissa tackling the challenge of motherhood, it’s been a while since he’d seen any of his cousins, really.

They all knew that. And they all knew why they were here now, it doesn’t take Occulmency to figure out. But he needs to hear him say it. He needs the words to leave his mouth, or he thinks he might go crazy. That way there’s no room doubt.

Lucius senses this, sparing a quick glance over to his companion who has just finished her tour– likely not without pickpocketing something of interest –he opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.

“Aw, really cousin?” She frowns, her tone scratchy and playful, punching. She smiles wickedly, barely any trace of sanity left in the crevices of her lips. A hand flies up to play with her hair. “You graduated top of your class, I thought you’d be smarter than that.”

You watch quietly as Felix shrugs, folding his arms over his chest. “Perhaps,” He concedes calmly as you struggle not to bite your lip. “But I suppose caution and paranoia is a family trait, isn’t it Bella?”

A genuine grin breaks out across her face now, clearly amused, enjoying their banter much more than she had yours. “I prefer to think of it as... insurance.”

“Then you don’t mind me asking, Bella? For insurance?”

She giggles, low but manic, and a little bit out of it. It suits her, you think. “Clever boy.”

Lucius clears his throat, having finally gathered his wits and turns back to your boyfriend. “Excuse my vagueness, Felix, but as I’m sure you’re aware... the Dark Lord isn’t one you can just disobey.”

A silence sinks onto the four of you, nestling itself into your limbs, itching at your skin. It was what you’d been waiting for, but suddenly you wish you could take it back.

“I take it you’ve heard of his return,” Malfoy inquires, walking back to sit on the couch, nodding placatingly in your direction.

“...I thought they were rumors, if I’m being honest.”

“They’re true,” Bellatrix beams, stepping closer to her cousin, her similarly dark eyes wild. “He’s back.”

“We know you may be hesitant,” Malfoy drawls, his fingers drumming lowly on his walking stick, beating against the head of a silver snake. “With what happened to your cousin and all.”

Felix says nothing and somehow it’s you who finds words pushing past your teeth.

“Oh, you mean how he died?” You snark, all three sets of eyes snapping over to yours. Bellatrix takes you in as if she’d forgotten you were present while Felix hides any emotion behind his facade.

Bellatrix looks as if she wants to snap, bite something back at you, but she doesn’t. No, they need Felix to go with them, so she won’t risk angering him. You take a sense of pride in that.

“Yes, a rather unfortunate fate, but I assure you, Miss L/N, that won’t happen again this time.”

“How can you be so certain, Lucius?” Felix quips without missing a beat.

The white haired man back tracks, folding his words into himself in of fear saying too much. He looks on between the two of you with cold, dead eyes.

“I’m afraid I’m not at much liberty to say, Rosier,” He laments, clearly trying to bribe you, intrigue you with the curiosity that comes with a question in need of answering. “But I am certain that, should you accept it, there is a very respectable place for you among us.”

Felix looks to you in an obvious display of concern, not for your well-being, no he’s aware of your strength. They hold a concern, a question of where you stand in this arrangement of theirs.

The tired man catches this and corrects himself. “Both of you.”

It’s now that Bellatrix closes in on him, her pale hand reaching up to latch onto his shoulder. Her head tilts to reach his ear and you watch as her lips move, but the sound does not reach you. She whispers something soft in his ear, intimate and persuasive, as if they’d been close for years.

When she’s finally finished, Lucius raises an expectant eyebrow in Felix’s direction. “So?” The man queries, curiosity lacing his voice like sugar. “What do you say?”

You can practically see the cogs in his head turn as he runs through his options and you’re ashamed to admit it, but for a moment you’re unsure of what his answer will be. His parents will surely disown him for refusing, even if they’re not exactly on the best of terms at present. It’s his family... that’s bound to influence him even a little, right?

Exhaling, Felix blinks and observes them one last time before walking to his door and opening it with vigor.

He gestures to it, holding it open. “I’m afraid we can’t spare much more time as we’re already late. MC and I really must get going.”

No. He told them no. It’s as clear as if he’d said the words themselves. As invariable as the sun coming up in the morning and obvious as the color of the sky, Felix turned them down.

And they know it.

Admittedly stunned, Lucius and Bellatrix slowly make their way towards the exit held wide open for them. Bellatrix snorts in passing, leaving her cousin behind without a second thought, marching out of your home in earnest. But Lucius stops at the doorframe, looking back to Felix in a final chance for reconsideration.

“Are you sure?” He presses, eyes sliding past you, focused on who they really came here for.

Felix nods. “Quite.”

With nothing left to say, Lucius Malfoy disappears from sight, taking Felix’s last connection to his family with him. The door clicks minutely shut and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

The silence that takes place in your house feels too big, like it stretches far beyond just these walls. You almost expect him to say something, the drown it out, but instead he takes big steps towards you and grabs your hand.

Before you know it, you’re outside. The sun is beating down on you feverishly, as if it were praising you, it’s favorite person in the world. Pale grass brushes up against your knees and the sky looks bluer than you last recall. But what really catches your attention is a house, towering above you unevenly, random windows doecorating the front that look strangely endearing and yet oh so out of place.

Your mind spins, nothing connecting, no thoughts formulating nor your surroundings making sense. You frown in utter confusion and look to Felix for help, but when your eyes meet his, what stares back at you a reflection, someone who is just as scared as you.

If anything it makes you more afraid.

Nonsensical sounds leave your mouth in broken fragments and sentences, words failing you completely. Felix shushes you softly, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

“Shh, it’s okay. Hey, don’t worry, everything is fine,” He coerces you into deep breaths, his fingers tracing random patterns on the apple of your cheeks. Your heartbeat calms but you still feel as if you’re at the bottom of a swimming pool.

“Where are we? What are we doing here?”

“It’s the Weasley estate,” Felix replies, brushing a stray hair behind your ear. “We need their help now, MC.”

“Felix, what just happened? Did they–”

“Yes, they did,” It’s not what you wanted, but it’s all he has and a cold sweat sticks to your skin. “So we can’t go back there. They won’t be happy about my decision, MC, so we need somewhere else to go.”

“What about Chester? Or Tonks or Orion or–”

“We can’t put them in danger,” He rebuffs, shaking his head sorrowfully. He looks just as broken as you do, just as lost, and that terrifies you. “We need to lie low, okay? You can do that for me, right?”

You stutter, still processing the events of your day. Had you known this would happen when you woke up this morning, you would have stayed in bed. It all escalated so quickly, you’re not even sure it’s donned on you yet what exactly it is you’ve just done. The world spins around you.

“I promise you, just trust me.”

You look up at the sound of his voice and your eyes meet his. He’s scared, and lost, and worried and suddenly you realize that he doesn’t have all the answers.

But it’s okay.

You’re in this together now, and if you had to go to war with anyone by your side, you thank your lucky star that it happens to be him.

“I do.”

You wiggled the keys in the door, cursing under your breath until it finally opened. Releasing a sigh, you hauled the thing open, tossing the keys onto the nearby end table and removing your shoes, allowing it to click shut behind you.

You cast a dreadful look around the place.

It’s the same, you’re aware. Physically nothing has changed since you were here last; nothing moved or altered in any way. The hand-picked drapes are still hanging from the window, your shoes still sit by the door, your pictures decorate the walls just as they always have. It’s almost eerie how similar it looks, yet for the life of you you can’t recognize it.

It’s not your home anymore.

Not able to stand the silence much longer, you let your feet drag against the wooden floor as you make your way to your room. You’re not ready, not yet. You know that, but you also know that you can’t avoid it forever.

He wouldn’t want you to.

Your hand wraps carefully around the handle and you press your forehead against it, only for a moment, before you pull away and bite the bullet. A shaky inhale and another minute later, you finally push it open.

The first thing you notice is the quietness surrounding the room, like an aura. You could feel in your bones how empty it was, as if the air around you was weeping, crying out in isolation. You find you can’t relate, not these days when socializing of any kind seems to be more of a chore than a normalcy. Still, you sympathize with whatever the feeling is, knowing the pain first hand.

It’s weird, you think, how completely untouched by the pain and destruction of war and the time it took to finally end it. You’re almost angry, at how this was able to stay the same when everything else in your life was bent out of shape, played out of tune.

Your legs move mindlessly, eager to explore, to what what else slipped past the war’s watchful eye. They take you to your closet, the huge thing left to collect dust in your absence.

You and Felix had to leave pretty much everything behind when you joined the Order. It was too risky to come return to the house when Voldemort’s followers were watching you. Luckily, the Order was able to help provide you with things like clothes until you’d gotten settled in— Tonks in particular was very generous, but you were unfortunately unable to come back to retrieve the ones you left behind.

Reaching out, your grip latches onto a certain sweater all the way far in the back, buried underneath old t-shirts, worn button-ups, and mismatched gloves. You pull it out.

The stitching is a little loose around the hem and splitting by the neckline. The grey has faded and the thin green streaks around the cuffs are almost indistinguishable. You don’t think you’d be able to identify it were it not for the small pin resting by the right of the chest.

Under any other circumstances you’d probably smile, reminiscing on your school days and perhaps even tease him. Ask why he still has it and why he hasn’t kept up with it, why it’s just sitting in the darkest corner of the closet. Today though, all you can do is pull it into your chest, hugging it just long enough to collect yourself before you gingerly tuck it back into its place. You shut the closet and collapse into the bed.

It feels bigger without him in it.

You’re about ready to waste away the rest of the day exactly like this, your heart heavy and soul tired, but you attempt one last glance around first. You don’t know what you’re looking for, maybe something to convince you that this isn’t your life now, that the last few weeks never happened, but you find it.

There’s a hand wrapped package sitting on his desk, pushed into the corner so far you nearly missed it. It’s tied together with plain string, but you notice the familiar scrawl painted across it.

Jumping up from your spot on the bed, you bound over to it, tearing it open without a second thought.

Your vision is immediately flooded with words upon words etched into prestine white parchment in thick black ink. It’s in Felix’s handwriting, of course like you expected, but for a minute you debate not reading it. You’re not sure you can bare whatever thoughts he decided to write into tangible reality, regardless of the contents, but you quickly shut that down. You’re too curious for your own good, something he always loved to remind you.

So, trying to steady your hands long enough for you to read the script, you sit down to do just that.

05/01/98’

MC,

I’ve gone through probably a hundred pieces of parchment and yet I still can’t find a decent way to start this. You’d think with the war I’d have my wits about me, but I suppose everyone has to play the fool at some point, right?

To tell you the truth, I don’t even think I know what I’m trying to say here. There’s so many things going on both in my head and around us as I’m writing this, I was barely able to get this moment to myself. But I had to get away. I had to write this. With this war finally coming to a head, I fear what lies in tomorrow’s horizon. Fate, as I’ve come to realize, is so arbitrary. Perhaps there is nothing to it but odds and dumb luck. Either way, we can’t know what happens next, and as morbid as the thought is, there are some things I have to say before the day breaks. I don’t have a lot of time, so I will try to make it brief.

I love you. I know it’s nothing new, but I just thought you should hear it one last time.

Also, I suppose I wanted to say sorry. If you’re reading this then that means that my luck has run out. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I can’t be there when you need me the most. I’m sorry that it had to be me who broke us and I’m sorry that you have to do this on your own. I’m sorry I left you.

Lastly, I wanted to marry you.

I know that’s it likely unfair of me to say this, seeing as it is now a dream that could never become reality, but it’s true. I think I’ve known this for a while now, but it’s just always been a thought, an idea, something to look forward to. And even if our time together was much shorter than I’d hoped, just know that it was worth it. I’ve left this earth a happy man, MC, for nothing on this earth, be it magical or otherwise, could ever compare to loving you. Not in a thousand lifetimes. Though a future together is something that we can’t have, I hope you’ll still persevere, like I know you can, to love the life you can still have. This world is on its knees, and it’s begging for someone like you to take advantage of it and all it has to offer.

So promise me you’ll try. For me.

Until Tomorrow,

Felix

You read it several times before it become illegible, the tears in your eyes splashing onto the paper and blurring your vision. You shake your head, unable to do anything else, and the parchment slips from between your fingers, floating softly to the ground.

You try to flick the tears away, but they just keep coming, unbidden. They continue to do so even after your eye catches on something hidden in the wrapping of the package and you pick it up with a trembling hand.

It’s a wedding ring, the kind you always imagined you’d have as a child; beautiful and sparkling and made just for you. This is made even more apparent when you see the inscription on the inside of the band, obviously something Felix had required.

“I promise you, just trust me.”

Without anything left to do, you slip it onto your finger and allow yourself to sob well into the night. You sob not only for the man you lost, but for the future that died with him.

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 57

Chapter Summary - Alexianna has to think about her predicament and what she will do regarding it, including if she will tell Tom but she is terrified of his reaction.

WARNING - CONTAINS REFERENCES TO PAST POST-NATAL DEPRESSION

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​​ @winterisakiller​​​ @theoneanna​​​

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NOTES - So, yeah, with unplanned pregnancies, I have yet to meet a woman that does not have a huge panic attack at the situation and many are not immediately sure of what is the right thing *for them* I have to put that here, because everyone is different and everyone's reasons for their choice are theirs alone and damn it, I won't apologise for having Alexianna and Tom react as they do in this entirely made up scenario.

Alexianna simply stared at the test. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were careful, they always used two forms of protection in case one failed. She made sure that she was safe. Jonathan had refused to wear condoms on the grounds they “didn’t feel good” but Tom was the first to agree that he had a role in preventative matters also. Her eyes widened. Tom would surely have a reaction close to her own, she had ruined everything. They were happy, he had his space and his freedom but they also had each other, and now she had ruined that. A baby, another….she shook her head slightly, she couldn’t, not again. Before she had Daniel, now he had his life and she knew that he wanted that life and she could not take it from him. Tom would not want to be tied down, not like this. How could he? He was famous, children, biological children were not the same as assisting with his girlfriend’s daughter when he was available. He had been as stern as her regarding contraception, she knew kids were not something he planned on any time soon. She put the little device in some toilet paper and into her pocket to dispose of in the wheelie bin outside so it would not be found by anyone before going back into the bedroom and taking out her phone, Googling the nearest clinics before pausing.

It was Christmas eve, no doubt most of them were closed until after New Years, also, how could she ask Tom to take her to a particular centre passed several other medical centres in the area, he was by no means stupid, so instead, she Googled ones in London, she could sort it when they returned after the holidays. All she had to do was at naturally for the few days and she would be able to fix everything when they returned to London without anyone knowing anything.

The issue became that she did not act naturally when she returned downstairs. Immediately, Tom, Diana and Lily all seemed to realise something was not alright with her. It was clear to see that she was thinking of something that was stealing her attention.

“Darling? Lexi?”

She jumped slightly as Tom spoke to her. “Hmm, what, sorry?”

“Are you alright, Sweetheart? You seem completely out of sorts?”

“Yeah, just...not feeling the best.” She dismissed, which, considering the shock she had just gotten, was no lie.

“Do you need to lie down for a while? Mum has lunch on but if you’re not feeling the best, you should have a small rest.”

“I’m fine. I’m just thinking over a few things.”

“Is it the interviews? Lexi, you will do amazingly. You have a perfect record with work as it is and your college scores, as you predicted, are on track for a 1:1 with this work...Lexi?”

Alexianna’s face blanched as she thought of her degree. In her worries about her relationship, she had forgotten the job interviews and more importantly, her degree. She could not possibly have had this happen at a worse time. “Oh, God.”

“What, what is it? Did you forget something? Something to do with college?” Tom asked, terrified by her terror.

Alexianna forced herself out of her head. She was dealing with it, she had her plan so she needed to cease her madness and get on with the day at hand. “I thought I forgot something, but it’s fine. I am just a little messed up.” It wasn’t a lie, she was feeling incredibly messed up but there was nothing she could do about it at that moment.

“Well, I am glad it’s not the terrifying thing you were worried about, but please, Darling, if you are so out of sorts, go lie down.”

“Lily…”

“Would rather her Mum be more able for Santa and associated madness in the morning, I would imagine.” Tom gently took her hand and guided her to the stairs. “Her grandmother and Daddy can look after her for a while. You have been so busy with work and college, you need a rest. You looked like if you slept twenty-four hours, you could still sleep twenty-four more.”

Alexianna gave a small smile. It had been the same with Lily, her biggest issue for the majority of her pregnancy was tiredness. Before she ever realised she was pregnant, she felt tired, she hadn’t realised that it was happening again. She had put it down to study, exams and work, as well as juggling her home life, she didn’t realise her body was warning her of the hormone production required to create another child. “I probably could.”

They walked into the bedroom and Tom let go of her hand as she removed her jumper. When she took it off and folded it over the back of the chair, then turned to face him again, her heart felt like it had stopped.

Tom was holding the instructions to the pregnancy test in his hand. For a moment, he was reading it before he looked at her. “Lexi?” She swallowed. “Why…?”

“I’m sorry.” She felt the tears fall.

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know how it happened, I swear.”

“You’re…” Tom realised at that moment why she was so out of sorts since the Co-Op. “You’re pregnant?”

“I’m sorry.” She apologised again. “I never meant for it to happen. I’ll deal with it when we get back.”

Tom looked at her in shock. “Deal with it? You mean…” He realised what she was referencing. “Were you going to tell me?”

“I…I didn’t want to ruin us.”

“And you thought that keeping this,” he shook the piece of paper. “A secret wouldn’t ruin us? Secrets? Secrets are what ruin people. Ruin relationships.”

“I’m sorry.” She cried more, feeling even more guilty at what he had said.

Tom stopped himself from getting angry. He wanted to be angry at her for not confiding her fear with him. He wanted to be angry she had not said anything about doing a test or indeed making a decision on it, but it was clear she was terrified. She was sobbing as though someone had struck her with the worst possible words. He inhaled deeply and reminded himself that she had been trained to think this was the end of the world. Jonathan did his most damage and controlling of her while she was pregnant with Lily, of course, to Alexianna, pregnancy was world ending, it was what she was taught, even as a youth by her mother, the warning was “Don’t ever darken my door if you get pregnant”. As much as Diana feared her daughters getting pregnant too young, or her son getting a girl pregnant, she also instilled in them a rational approach to the topic, that altered the manner in which they saw the issue. “Lexi…” She looked at him, only for a moment. “Darling, please, try to calm yourself.” He walked forward slowly. “This is clearly a shock, I take it you only did this after our trip to the shop?” She nodded. “So you had no inkling before?”

She shook her head. “We were so careful.”

Tom had to admit, it was true. He always made sure not to tear the condom, he always made sure to hold it when they had finished their intimacy and discard it carefully. He knew she took her pills religiously. “Sometimes, these things just happen. We were not careless, so I know it makes it more of a shock, but Lexi, it’s alright.”

“How do you not hate me?”

Tom felt terrible, he leant forward, brought her to him and kissed her head. “I could never hate you for this, Lexi. You didn’t mean for it to happen and you cannot be to blame for it. I was there too. I very much had an active role in this. I am as much at fault.” He kissed her head again. “How long?”

“Nearly three weeks, according to the test.”

Tom remained quiet for a moment as he tried to calculate when they had been intimate over the month of December. “So...when…?”

“The night at yours alone, I think. That’s the safest bet as to when.”

Tom recalled the night and gave a slight huff of a laugh, causing Alexianna to look at him with confused and tear-reddened eyes. “Well, then I am the majority person to blame. It was my idea, I very much was the one to initiate things and I very much am the one that did the majority of the actions that put us in this position.” He chuckled. “So blame me, not you.”

“But I…”

“No, Lexi. You are not to blame for your body having the criteria to make a baby being reached. We are both adults, we both partook in consensual sex and we both took responsibility for prevention, somewhere, something did not go as it was supposed to and that happens, you alone are not to blame.” He made sure to look at her as he spoke. “I think you and I need to have this discussion away from the house. We don’t need anyone hearing this.”

Nodding slightly, Alexianna got her jumper and put it back on before following him out the door of the bedroom and back downstairs.

“Mum?” Diana came into the hallway at Tom calling her. “Mum, Lexi and I need to step out for a while, could you look after Lily?”

“Can I come?” Lily looked hopefully at Tom.

Tom knelt down so he was looking her in the face. “Not this time, Princess, Mum and I have something very important to talk about that is boring and grown up so it is best if you stay here for now. I promise, we will bring you on a spin soon, not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we will go on a spin soon the three of us, alright?”

Alexianna said nothing as she watched Tom interact with Lily. She looked at Diana who was studying both her and Tom, worried by the peculiar atmosphere that was in the air. “What about lunch?” She asked her son.

“We won’t be too long, we just need to sort something. Keep it warm.” He explained before grabbing their coats and his car keys and gently ushering Alexianna towards the door.

“Mommy, are you alright?” Lily focused on her mother’s silence.

“Yeah, I am just not feeling well, Sweetheart. Daddy is just getting me out for a while to see if that can help me in any bit.” She smiled. “I don’t want to be sick for when Santa comes tonight.”

Hearing her mother reference what Lily believed to be the greatest human being in existence, albeit a magical one, she nodded and jumped up and down. “No one wants to be sick for Santa.”

“Absolutely not, so you help Nana, and we will see you soon, Princess.” Tom smiled, kissing her head and leading them out the door.

They said nothing as they got into the car and drove off. Neither of them spoke the entire of the journey. When Tom pulled in at an all but abandoned car park facing the water, he turned off the engine and for several more moments, they remained silent.

“We need to actually talk about this, Lexi.” He began. “I want us to discuss this, so we can do what is right and not have regrets. If you want to go ahead as you plan when you get back to London, I want to be beside you, supporting you, no matter what. I cannot make this decision for us but I want to be part of it, please.”

“I can’t do this, not right now.” she looked at her hands as she spoke.

“I respect that if that is how you feel, I will not rubbish that, you are the one with the final decision here, I would never force you to do anything but can we talk through it?”

“I can’t do it again.”

“Do what?”

“Have another baby. Try and juggle it all again, this time with no Daniel.”

“Daniel isn’t here, he’s in Scotland, yes, but he would still be part of everything, you know that. And this time, if you had it, you would have me here, I would be here.” She looked at him worriedly. “You think I’d leave?” She said nothing. “Do you really think I am like him?”

“He didn’t…” She stopped when she realised how much her comparing Tom to her ex-husband hurt him. “I barely got by last time...if...I couldn’t do it again, not with two, alone.”

Tom stopped himself from speaking for a moment, he chose his words carefully so as not to upset her more, seeing she was close to tears again. “We’ll talk through the two options. If you really think it is for the best, we will go to the clinic together, a good private one where you will have the privacy to do what you wish to do and I will be there with you, a hundred per cent, but let’s talk through this. We can’t change anything today, it’s too late, everywhere is closed, if anything, this gives us time to process everything and be happy with our decision.”

“You really want to be part of this?”

Tom nodded. “I am very much part of this. As I said, I am technically the one to cause this. It was my idea, my initiating, I literally am a considerable part of this and I will play my part in owning up to the responsibility of it.” He took her hand in his. “I want to see it as you do. So, please tell me, why do you think it is the best option?”

“Everything.”

“No, come on, you can expand on it. You are the most intelligent and eloquent woman, do better than that.”

“I have not finished college yet.”

“No, you have not,a valid point,” Tom acknowledged. “You are due to finish in May. Say for a minute you went through with it, when would it be born?”

“About September? I think. I didn’t do the calculations.”

“Okay, so taking into account that, you have a few months of a window. though the morning sickness and studying for exams sound shit.” He noted. “But you are finishing your degree in May, so you don’t have any more classes after that.”

“What if I want to do a Masters?”

“You didn’t mention one before now, has that been something you have been thinking about of late?

“Not immediately.”

“Well then, that would be a bridge to think about too. If you were to do a Masters, what could we do about it? I suppose you would have to consider that. What else?”

“Work.”

“Right?”

“I want this new job, Tom. It’s better, it’s more my area of interest, I can’t apply, maybe get it then drop on them that I am pregnant.”

“They cannot discriminate against you if you are.”

Alexianna scoffed. “Not openly, Tom, but be reasonable, they can find other reasons to not choose me as an excuse.”

“Don’t tell them until after the interviews?” He suggested.

“That’s not particularly honest, is it?” Alexianna argued. “I cannot do both, a baby and a new job is not an option.”

Tom sighed. He didn’t want to shove her down a particular path she did not want. “Is that the only reason?”

“The cost.”

Tom scoffed. “I can afford that side of it, no matter what, I will pay for whatever you decide.”

“We are in two different houses. We are only together not long over a year.”

“We would obviously have to move in together so I could be there and make sure to help you with the baby and Lily. We also may only be together that long but we know each other since you were eight, Lexi. Eight years old. We know each other for almost a quarter of a century.”

“That’s the other thing, Lily.” She pointed out. Tom gave her one glance. “It is one thing saying she wants a sibling, it is not a teddy she can put in a corner. You can’t get rid of it because you regret your decision to have it.”

“Lily would love it, and you know it.”

“But what about Lily?”

“We just mentioned her.”

“No, but if...if we had a baby together, would you…?”

“Would I what?”

“Still love her?”

Tom didn’t even hesitate to answer. “Of course, she is my daughter. Lexi, I chose to be her father, I knew that come anything between us, I was choosing a role for life. She is my little girl and if we have this baby or if we choose never to have one, or have twenty, I will always love her as ferociously as I do now. She’s my little girl.” She swallowed. “I am not going to pretend that the idea of us creating this little human being that has my DNA isn’t one of the most incredible ideas in the world but even with her not sharing my DNA, nothing in this world will change how I see Lily.”

Alexianna stared at him. “You want it.” Tom frowned, his brow furrowing as he wondered what she was referencing. “You want me to have it.”

“I am not going to influence your decision.” He looked away from her.

“Tom, please.” He looked back at her again. “I am being honest with you, please be honest with me.”

Tom bit the inside of his cheeks for a moment. He needed to choose his words carefully and he knew it. His first instinct when she referenced getting a termination was the anger that she would have the baby of the man that abused her, emotionally and otherwise and terminate his child, the one they made, albeit accidentally, with a good, loving relationship. But he said nothing of that. He knew himself that he could not, it was manipulation and cruel to spit that at her. But she had explained her valid reasons why a baby was not something they were entirely ready for at that time, so he would be honest back. “I want it.” He stated. “I want our baby. Our...Even saying it, a baby, this little human being that we made. I want it.”

Alexianna swallowed. “But if I can’t…?”

Tom forced the smile he had at the idea to remain hidden. “Then, we can’t. It is that simple. You have to do the hard part, you are the one that has to try and juggle it, work and college. I can promise to do my share, and you know I will provide for it, you, our family, but you are the one that has to do more, so if you say no, then no it is. I will never hold that against you, Lexi. I promise. You have to do what is right for you, no excuses.”

Alexianna nodded slightly at his words. “Tom?”

“Yes, Darling?”

“Can I go for a walk by myself for a few minutes?”

“Of course.” He pulled the key out of the ignition which automatically unlocked the car. “I’ll stay here.”

“Don’t, I’ll get a cab back.”

“Not at this hour, most of them will be off early today. Take the time you need, I will wait here.” He insisted, terrified of her being out after dark by herself, unable to get back to the house.

“I might be a while.”

“Then I will wait a while.” He smiled. “Right here...or possibly as far as the bathrooms.”

Alexianna gave a small laugh at that before smiling. “Thank you, Tom.”

“What for?”

“Being you. Being this amazing man that is calm and rational. I would be so lost without you.”

“You’re one of the most rational women I know.” She gave him a quizzical look. “You’ve just been served a curveball, this doesn’t count.”

“Thank you.” She smiled again taking her coat out of the backseat and getting out of the car.

Tom watched as she walked along the seafront for a few minutes before she became a blur to him. He took out his phone and immediately started researching different things, processing what he was reading and his thoughts.

*

Alexianna thought over what Tom said. She thought over how she would get her exams done and though morning sickness was a nuisance, she could do it. She thought of how she would have to deal with the work issue, she wanted that other job so badly, if she could figure that out...She paused. In those few minutes, she realised that she was not as terrified as before. Tom’s support, his want to be there for her meant that she felt she could see more positives to her situation.

She wanted a child with Tom, down the road, if they were both willing. She was unsure if this was a good time but Tom did. She wondered if he knew what this would mean, the sacrifices they would both have to be willing to make. His life would not be easy either but she knew, come what may, he would not do as Jonathan did, she just knew it. He would be there, for Lily too. His immediate declaration that Lily would remain as she was to him instilled some hope in her also, but she was still scared, all she could do was think it over.

Alexianna realised she had left the seafront and was walking through the town. A few of the shops were already closed, a few more seemed to be closing. One, in particular, caught her interest. She walked in and grabbed two items and walked to the till.

*

Tom sat reading in his car. Alexianna had been gone for twenty minutes. He hoped she was thinking over her options in her head now that she had more information to allow her to make a more informed decision. He meant what he said, no matter what, he would support her. When he looked out, he recognised her warm red winter coat making its way up the seafront towards him again. He turned on the car and waited. He watched as she got in and sat beside him, a pharmacy bag in her hand. Nervously, he looked at it. “Is that it?”

Alexianna shook her head. “No, you have to go to clinics for those, they’re not available over the counter.” She explained before opening the bag. “I am still processing all of this, but…” She took out two boxes and a bottle of water. “There was folic acid in my other multivitamin, this has the recommended pregnancy amount and these are more tailored to what I need at the moment too.” She held up the two boxes and showed him, one was a folic acid supplement for pregnant women and the other was a pregnancy brand multivitamin. “I am not taking any risks.”

“Does this mean….?” Tom was scared to ask.

Alexianna bit her lips together for a moment. “If it’s a girl?”

Tom smiled. “Then I will never get a good night’s sleep again.” He laughed. “Two daughters….I am warning you now, no one will ever be good enough for my Princesses.”

[tiredwritersworld]

Back to Kansas

Prompt #: 20

Fandom: Supernatural (kinda AU)

Rating: M 

Warnings/Tags: Mentions of suicide/hauntings and ghosts

This is my first submission for Fictober19 :D It’s not finished I’ll be honest but at 2,352 words this was becoming so long that I thought I’d post a snippet of it for Fictober and if any of you want me to continue posting the story separately from this then please send in some asks! To the OP who hosts Fictober every year you’re awesome and I love that you do this, thanks for such a great idea <3 Without further ado... Enjoy!

It had been a lifetime since they had last seen each other, or at least that’s how it felt. She watched him cross the road and froze in place unable to will herself to walk away and honestly? She didn’t want to walk away, seeing him again made her feel happier than she had in so many years, despite the way he had left. 

“Sam?” She asked, she knew it was him but she still questioned her own eyes. He was taller somehow but she could tell it was him.

“Emily, it’s really you... I wasn’t sure from over there.” He replied ending with a small laugh. He seemed so awkward and she could see the guilt on his face. Without thinking she stepped forward onto the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, he didn’t react straight away, he was surprised and shook that away as quickly as he could and brought his arms up around her waist. They stayed that way for a moment.

“I thought that you’d be..” He trailed off at the end and rubbed the back of his neck self consciously. 

“Mad?” She asked and he laughed nervously and gave a nod. “I was for a little while but then... Well I wasn’t mad anymore.” She replied with a soft smile that made his stomach lurch. He always got butterflies when she was around. “You wanna get coffee?” She asked suddenly. 

“Yeah I’d like that alot actually.” He replied and she smiled brightly at that. It was then that he really took notice of her again, sure she looked the same, a bit older of course, but she looked tired, weary and he noticed that while she looked happy to see him, her smile never quite reached her eyes. 

He frowned as he followed her across the road to the familiar cafe that they had frequented often in their youth. People he recognised offered small smiles, but again the smiles never quite reached their eyes and his frown deepened. Something was wrong and he needed to find out what it was. 

“So uh, how’s your mum?” He asked and she stilled, her coffee half raised, her gaze fixed on the table as she took in a shallow breath. It was the moment she had been dreading but also the reason she had invited him for coffee. He noticed this and his heart sank, a wave of nausea hit him as he realised just why the smile didn’t meet her eyes. She brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip, before setting it carefully back on the table and meeting his gaze once again. 

“She died Sam.” She said and swallowed thickly. 

“Oh no Emily I’m so sorry.” He said, his voice low and pained. He reached out to take her hand and although she initially flinched, she let him take it and squeezed his hand gently. “When?” He asked softly. 

“It was a long time ago. I think about a month after you left.” She said in a small voice. She found herself suddenly unable to meet his gaze, his grip on her hand loosened and she knew if she looked up she would see the guilt etched into his face and in that moment she couldn’t bear it. 

“Emily I’m..” He began but she laughed, a short, tired laugh and sniffed as she wiped tears from her face roughly. 

“I know what you’re thinking Sam, what you’re going to say.” She began and looked up at him. “Please don’t. I know you would have been here if you could.” She said and offered him a sad smile. 

“I would have. I just wish..” He started to speak again but she couldn’t let him continue. 

“I know.” She said and swallowed the lump in her throat before smiling up at him again. “We can’t change the past, I’m just glad I got to see you again.  

“You could talk about it, you know?” He offered gently and she sighed, it was soft and released a lot of tension she’d been unintentionally holding onto. 

“I know Sam, thank you. Being here with you like this, well it’s enough you know? I feel, well I guess I don’t feel as sad right now but I’m not ready to talk about it. I don’t think I’ll ever be.” She finished and smiled up at him and they stayed together for a while longer until Emily had to run off to her meeting and while Sam wanted to respect her wishes, he was too curious a person to just leave it and so he made his way over to the little shop on the corner that was ingrained in his memories. 

The door was still creaky, no matter how much oil he soaked it with it was just meant to be that way, at least that’s what Miss Laney always used to say. The shop wasn’t any different than when he left it and a sense of belonging and warmth washed over him, especially when he saw the elderly lady emerge from the back of the shop carrying a heavy looking box. 

“Here let me help you with that.” Sam said offering a small smile. 

“Sam Winchester!” She beamed. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

He chuckled awkwardly and took the box from her arms and moved it over to aisle 3 as she followed behind him.  

“How have you been?” He asked. 

“Oh well not too bad, you know my hip still gives me troubles but it could be worse. And where have you been?” She asked with an almost knowing smile.

 “Just about everywhere I think.” He replied and she recognised the hint of sadness in his voice. She always knew he hadn’t wanted to leave.

“Well it’s good to have you back, how long are you here for?” She asked watching as he stacked the tins neatly on the shelf. 

“Honestly? I’m not too sure.” He said and she patted his hand in understanding. 

“That’s good enough for me. Now!” She said and quickly scanned the store to be sure they were alone. “Your coming is rather fortuitous, almost like fate some would say.” She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper and her eyes gleamed like a child who’d just found out she was getting a bike for Christmas. 

“Why’s that?” He asked with a curious smile. 

“Well there’s a certain young lady who happens to be back in town.” She said grinning mischievously and he chuckled softly. 

“Yeah, I ran into Emily, we had coffee actually.” He replied and turned slightly so that he could face her. “Miss Laney, I need to ask you about Joanna.” He said, his expression now gentle but serious. 

“I’m not surprised she didn’t tell you about it.” Miss Laney said and sighed softly as she wondered back to the front of the store, turning the open sign over and locking the door. “Come on dear, I’ll make some tea.” 

The tea was made and Sam sat awkwardly at the small table in the back room watching as Miss Laney blew the steam away from her cup and sipped quietly. 

“You were going to tell me...” He began and she set her cup down and exhaled deeply.

“Well after you left Emily was in pieces, I’m sure you know that.” She commented and he gave a small nod, deciding to ignore the pang of guilt in his stomach. “Joanna did her best, she always did, but they just seemed to have the worst luck.” She continued looking off to the side deep in thought. 

“What do you mean by that?” He asked. 

“Well first there was the refrigerator, you’ll remember that.” She said and he nodded. 

“Yeah it used to make the weirdest sounds and never worked.” He replied.  

“Exactly, then all of the electricity in the house just went on the fritz, it was the strangest thing. They had electrician after electrician out there but they couldn’t find a single fault.” At this Sam’s blood ran cold and his worst fears were realised. 

“Is that it?” He asked hesitantly and Miss Laney shook her head. 

“They were both under a lot of pressure Sam, the restaurant wasn’t doing so well and Emily seemed to become such a nervous girl. She became very withdrawn and Joanna just didn’t know what to do.” She said and reached out squeezing his hand softly. “No one blamed you, I just want you to know that. Not even Emily, she missed you terribly but she was never angry.” She said and he smiled thankfully at her. 

“So what uh, what happened then?” He asked.  

“Well things just went from bad to worse, it was like Emily didn’t want to go home. Not because of her mother, but it was the house. There was something about it that frightened her.” She said with a frown.  

“Do you know what it was?” He asked and Miss Laney shook her head. 

“Well I know what Emily and Joanna thought it was. The police believed it was hysteria, you know, due to the stress in both their lives,  they had what they call a shared delusion. Joanna told father John that she saw things, in the house, things moving, whispers in the night, shadowy figures.” Miss Laney said and Sam’s jaw tensed as he sat a little straighter. 

“So the house was haunted.” He stated quietly and her eyes snapped up to meet his.

“Well of course it wasn’t really, but those poor girls believed it was. Father John didn’t find a thing in there and not more than a week later, well, Joanna...” She took a deep breath and wrapped her hands around her cup for comfort. “She killed herself.” 

“Killed herself?” He asked in shock and Miss Laney gave a nod.

“I’m sorry Sam, I know you were close with them both, this must be difficult.” She said in a gentle tone.

“This doesn’t make any sense. Joanna she would never have done that!” He exclaimed shaking his head.  

“Well I’m afraid that she did, I know that this is hard but it’s been a long time Sam. Emily is back to settle the affairs of the house and I think she will need your support.” Miss Laney said and fixed him with a stern gaze.  

Sam tried to hold his composure but he was wracked with guilt. His heart broke for Emily and what she must have suffered all those years.

Back at the motel room Dean was sprawled out on the bed, beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. He looked up when he heard the door open and grinned as he held the pizza up. 

“This is the best pizza I’ve ever had Sammy, why in the hell didn’t you tell me about this place!” He said excitedly but his excitement soon dissipated when he saw the look on his brothers face. He swallowed the mouthful of food and placed the pizza back in the box as he sat up. “What’s up?” He asked and Sam sniffed as he turned back to Dean unable to meet his gaze. His older brother noticed the tears in his eyes and frowned as he set down his beer. “It’s not Emily is it?” He asked. 

“I uh... When we left, when dad came and got me, her mum died Dean.” He said, his voice breaking off at the end. 

“Damn, I’m sorry Sammy.” He said.  

“Dean... It’s my fault that she’s dead.” He said.  

“What the hell do you mean it’s your fault?” He demanded and stood suddenly. 

“Their house it was haunted. She was killed by a ghost or a demon I don’t know but damn it Dean it’s my fault.” Sam replied, his voice rising with the anger he felt. 

“That’s not your fault Sam..” Dean began but Sam shook his head, his nostrils flaring and his fists clenched.  

“Of course it is!” He yelled. “I’m a hunter Dean! I should have known that their house was haunted!” 

“Well that’s a point sure but of course you would have known Sam, maybe it wasn’t a ghost. What happened to her mum?” He asked Sam rolled his eyes as he turned leaned over the table.  

“They said she killed herself, but she didn’t Dean, I knew Joanna, she lived for Emily and she never would have done something like that.” He said unable to look at his brother, unable to face the possibility that Dean wouldn’t trust his instinct on this. 

“Okay... So this was what, ten years ago?” He asked and Sam nodded in response. “So what happened to the house? Anyone else see anything?” He asked and Sam shook his head as he turned back to Dean.  

“Emily saw things but she moved out after her mum...” He trailed off and Dean nodded. 

“Anyone else live there now?” He asked.  

“No, the house belongs to Emily but I passed by there on my way here, it’s chained up Dean.” He replied. 

“So she didn’t want whatever was in there getting out.” Dean commented.  

“And she didn’t want anyone else getting hurt.” Sam confirmed. 

“Ok. Have you spoken to Emily about this?” He asked. 

“No, she didn’t want to speak about it so I went and saw my old boss, Miss Laney, she told me what happened.” He replied and Dean gave a nod as he scanned the room thinking on what their next move should be  

“Alright, well I think we gotta speak to Emily. Find out what she saw in that house.” Dean said after a long moment. 

“Yeah, I just... Dean she’s not like us, Emily, she’s strong and kind and funny but she might not take this too well, me being a hunter you know.” He said and Dean shrugged with a small smile. 

“Well when has anything ever been easy for us. Don’t worry Sammy, I won’t embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.” He teased and Sam glared at him before flipping open his laptop.