#and all id have to do is like. kill somebody every so often so the time god or whateber doesnt think ive learned my lesson. and itd suck to

[nomaishuttle]

sry i also started thinking abt how great my life would be if i was trapped in a timeloop again. i meant again as in i thought abt it again not as in I was trapped in a timeloop and id love 4 it 2 happen again. never been in one unfortunately.

[sidesteppostinghours]

4 + 5 + 8 + 40 + 34 and I) G) F) for Cyrus Becker my beloved 🧡

afternoon idle!! oh my god questions galore *cracks knuckles* cyrus get your ass over here youre up

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Very difficult, and at the same time easier than youd think. he definitely doesnt entertain everybody, but hes not unreasonable. hell hear you out if you give him enough reason to (or if he thinks its beneficial to get to know you. do you see why he gets attached to people hes supposed to be manipulating so often). ortega and mortum required him to establish a relationship, which is how they got so close to eachother so quickly. herald got by because cyrus thought hed be a useful contact in the rangers. chen couldve earned his trust a long time ago, they had to work with eachother a lot back when he still ran with the rangers, but chen squandered it on his suspicions and its been too long for cyrus to have any interest in patching up their relationship. argent has largely flown under his radar, she hasnt piqued his interest more than the passing curiosity of why she wanted the regenerator.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

the default is mistrust. sorry yall, hes not taking any more chances than necessary. hes a telepath, he knows all too well what secrets other people hide, and hes not interested in giving people a chance to prove his suspicions wrong. but after hes grown to trust somebody? its... embarrassing how difficult it is to lose it. even though his trust is much shakier nowadays, you still need to have fucked up Majorly to get him back to mistrusting you. if you somehow manage to do that,,, uhhhh. what do you want on your tombstone? (ig its technically its possible to not die and even earn that trust back??? ortega managed, but thats ortega and hes statistically more likely to kill you or ruin your life. depends on how badly you fucked up. id say theres a good 5% chance youll survive the experience without the need for intense psychotherapy)

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

listen. follow orders. be exactly who we need you to be. cyrus was a deeply rebellious regene, but he wasnt stupid about it. hed go against the mission in secret, and just enough that nobody wouldve been able to trace any problems back to him. that doesnt mean he was never caught, but he was too competent of a regene to be scrapped, which saved him multiple times before. those few times did cause handlers to keep a closer eye on him though, just in case. handlers would usually keep a harder grip on cyrus, hold him to stricter standards. it contributed a lot to his own self talk. SPEAKING OF WHICH:

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

you must imagine me holding him and looking lovingly into his eyes while i dump a gallon of insecurity and perfectionism on him. hes a proud man, he thinks hes better than what other people are capable of, but that arguably makes things worse when he does make a mistake. he of all people shouldnt be like this. add the puppetmaster scar on him and its a hefty load of 'i need to make sure every single step of my plan goes exactly right Or Else." the worst thing about him is that a lot of the petty flaws he thinks apply to him arent correct. AND HE CANT EVEN NAME HIS ACTUAL FLAWS. cyrus you are so smart and walking around with zero self awareness, its the best. please consider stepping into acid.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 

hohohohoho. well. the first step is to get him to feel guilty in the first place. traditionally immoral actions arent going to get to him, obviously. the thing that springs up guilt for him most often is themmys death. he has. a Lot of survivors guilt about that. especially because hes convinced himself he couldve done something and *gestures to the ask above*. guilt will haunt him for life if it doesnt get resolved in a healthy way, but hes gotten good at burying his emotions a long time ago. even when he feels like that, he reserves a specific time to think about it, otherwise itll impede on his plans in the long run. that designated time is. usually when hes supposed to be sleeping. his sleep schedule is just a little bit messed.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

oh dude i Love putting cyrus in aus. its so fun to poke him with a stick and see what happens. the first one i put him in was a band au, it helped me figure out how he would interact with herald. basically cyrus was a masked guitarist (for backstory reasons) for a band daniel happened to be a fan of, except the two of them managed to meet at just regular old work, with cyrus not realizing daniel was a fan and daniel not realizing cyrus was from one of his favourite bands. it led to fun, mlb-esque shenanigans between the two lmfao. the second one i put him in was the becker siblings au, which i still have thoughts and emotionsTM about. that au let me indulge in the 'cyrus is an older sibling' headcanon and i will forever be in debt to it for the amount of protective cyrus i got. third and current au im obsessing over is a 'cyrus survives hb' scenario, where ortega managed to stop him before he jumped out the window. i am getting! so much ortega x cyrus content out of that au! and so much survivors guilt cyrus. cyrus 'using' ortega to forget about heartbreak my beloveddddd. he also says 'i love you' to ortega in this au and canon ortega is SO jealous. also x2, hes an alcohol vice step in this au. heartbreak hit hard and the tequila hits different.

aaaand i still like his canon version better. its just so very much him. out of every step ive got, hes the one i get to stay closest to how i envision based on the choices the game offers. plus he caught me completely by surprise suckerpunching me with an obsession over him and i cant Not respect that.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

not sure whether this means on a character creation level or as a person, but ill answer for 'as a person' because im overall pretty satisfied with how he turned out! but like. god what is there to not be bothered about. my manipulative little shit of a son. ig the trait that frustrates me the most is his self destructive tendencies. like. Sir. are you at all aware of the fact that people care for you and want you safe? and that you can respond to that concern with something other than "i can use this", "sucks to be them", or, "no theyre not"? sir. sir answer the question. hes so empathetic and also literally a telepath but somehow cant compute genuine concern at him. as frustrating as it is though, i cannot deny that it is deeply funny to watch him fumble so badly.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

normal. the ones where people look at me and think "wow, that is a person who is having (a) regular thought(s) about their character! very cool!" you will never see a person who is more normal about their guy than i am (i am grabbing him by the teeth and shaking him like a dog with a very strong kill instinct).

truly though, thinking of him gets me buzzing. hes like a puzzle, i keep breaking him apart and putting him back together again to see how everything works. i have this thing where ill often think about showing character analysis to the characters themeselves, just to see how they would react, and i undeniably do this the most with cyrus. i want to explain step by step (hah) why he is the way that he is now, like the whole timeline is plotted inside my head and its so!!!!! i am!!!!! chewing on him!!!!!

questions from here!

[charcubed]

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc." 

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar. 

 Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately. 

 Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT. 

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?" 

Nope. 

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light. 

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants. 

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark. 

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you." 

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later. 

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode. 

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him. 

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend... 

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced. 

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!! 

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons. 

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry. 

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!! 

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices. 

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

[naalbinder]

phoebe bridgers // elliott smith parallels

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BEfu6YZ7XbdHFZBXthIpN?si=6bf8fc460eba4d33

E - Riot Coming - “Sat down in jail with this friend of mine/Who'd never close both his eyes/But one was shut all the time/To cover the thing he was scared of”

E - Stupidity Tries “To sail across the sea of trash”

E - Going nowhere - “The old records are sitting on the floor/The ones I can’t put on anymore”

E - Clementine - “Anything to pass the time/And keep that song out of your mind”

P - Smoke Signals - “One of your eyes is always half-shut/Something happened when you were a kid” - “burning trash out on the beach” - “You said that song'll creep you out until you're dead”

E - Miss Misery - (music videos on the same street)

E - Easy way out - “While I watch you making mistakes/I wish you luck I really do” “I heard you found another audience to bore”

E - Looking Over My Shoulder - “Another sick rock ‘n’ roller acting like a dick”

E - Placeholder - “I'm the person you'll never need/The biggest loser on sixteenth street” - “Just like my favourite song/Some pretty words that didn't last that long”

P - Motion Sickness - “I'll be glad that I made it out/And sorry that it all went down like it did” “You said when you met me, you were bored” - “Hey, why do you sing with an English accent?/I guess it's too late to change it now”

E - Some Song - “Help me kill my time cause I'll never be fine”

P - Funeral - “Jesus Christ i'm so blue all the time/And that's just how i feel/Always have and i always will ”

E - Bled White - “Happy and sad come in quick succession/I’m never going to become what you became”

P - Demi Moore - “I got a good feeling/It doesn't happen very often”

E - St Ides Heaven - “With an open container from 7/11”

E - A Fond Farewell - “A fond farewell to a friend”

P - Scott Street - “With an open heart, open container” - “Anyway, don’t be a stranger / don’t be a stranger”

E - Last Call - “And I think I’m all done, you can switch me off safely/While i’m lying here for sleep to overtake me”

E - Roman Candle - “I’m a roman candle/My head is full of flames ”

P - Killer - “But when I’m sick and tired/And when my mind is barely there/When a machine keeps me alive/And I’m losing all my hair/I hope you kiss my rotten head/And pull the plug” - “Tame the fire in you”

E - Georgia Georgia

P - Georgia - “Georgia, Georgia, I love your son”

E - Twilight - “That you are already somebody’s baby”

E - See you later - “Made out of a night train”

E - King’s Crossing - “Instruments shine on a silver tray”

P - Chelsea - “You are somebody’s baby” - “For a chemical imbalance/You sure know how to ride a train” - “With a needle on a tray”

E - Christian Brothers - “No bad dream fucker's gonna boss me around/Christian brothers gonna take him down”

P - Would you rather - “Quarantined in a bad dream/He's half the man and you're twice as tall”

E - Son of Sam - “Son of Sam, son of a doctors love a nurses touch/Acting under orders from above”

P - You Missed My Heart - “A feeling of relief came over my soul/I couldn't take it any longer, and I lost control”

E - Bye - (instrumental)

E - New Monkey (Instrumental)

P - DVD Menu - (instrumental)

E - Coming up roses - “And you're coming up roses everywhere you go/Red roses follow”

E - Rose Parade - “Said, Won't you follow me down to the Rose Parade?”

P - Garden Song “They're gluing roses on a flatbed/You should see it, I mean thousands”

E - Condor Ave - “I don’t know what to do with your clothes or your letters”

E - Baby Britain - “Fights problems with bigger problems/Sees the ocean fall and rise/Counts the waves that somehow didn’t hit her/Water pouring from her eyes/Alcoholic and very bitter”

E - Say Yes - “I'm in love with the world/Through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after”

E - Seen How Things Are Hard - “You just didn't care/You were off getting drunk instead”

E - The Biggest Lie - "Oh, I just told the biggest lie/ I just told the biggest lie/The biggest lie"

P - Kyoto - “And you wrote me a letter/But I don't have to read it” - “I wanted to see the world/Then I flew over the ocean/And I changed my mind” - “I wanted to see the world/Through your eyes until it happened/Then I changed my mind” - “I'm gonna kill you/If you don't beat me to it” - "Guess I lied/I'm a liar/Who lies/'Cause I'm a liar"

E - Memory Lane - “Your little house on memory lane ”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Angel in the snow/all crushed out on the way you are”

E - Last Call - “And I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me”

E - New Monkey - “For the millions of fans ignoring the bands”

E - Waltz #2 - “I'm never gonna know you now/But I'm gonna love you anyhow”

E - Amity - “I'm a neon sign and I stay open all the time”

P - Punisher - “The house where you lived with Snow White” - “But never not sweet to the trust funds and punishers” - “What if I told you/I feel like I know you?/But we never met” - “The drugstores are open all night/The only real reason I moved to the east side”

E - Some Song - “Yeah it's halloween tonight and every night”

E - Pitseleh - “I got a joke I've been dying to tell you/A silent kid is looking down the barrel/To make the noise that I kept so quiet”

P - Halloween - “Baby, it's Halloween” - “I hate living by the hospital/The sirens go all night/I used to joke that if they woke you up/Somebody better be dying”

E - Shooting Star - “So bad, so far/You made me sad/Shooting star/You're distant and cold/And a sight to behold/Everybody just sighs”

E - Satellite - “When they call it a lover's moon, the satellite/'Cause it acts just like lovers do, the satellite/A burned-out world you know/Staying up all night/The satellite”

E - Everything Reminds Me of Her - “Why are you staring into outer space, crying?/Just because you came across it and lost it”

P - Chinese Satellite - “Took a tour to see the stars/But they weren't out tonight/So I wished hard on a Chinese satellite” - “Sometimes, when I can't sleep/It's just a matter of time before I'm hearing things” b- “Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing/You know I hate to be alone/I want to be wrong”

E - Coast to Coast - “Still you're keeping me around/'Til I finally drag us both down (Gonna drag us both down)”

E - Little one - “The moonlight tonight/Seems to belong to me” - “One more/Little one, I love you”

E - Coming up Roses - “The moon is a sickle cell/It'll kill you in time” “While the moon does its division/You're buried below”

E - Everything Means Nothing to Me - “At attention, looking backward in a pool of water/Wishes with a blue songbird on his shoulder/Who keeps singing over everything”

E - Pretty Mary K (Other Version) - “oh Mary K, I can see your face/down there in the waves, painted and erased/but I know it's just a reflection of the moon”

P - Moon song - (52) “You asked to walk me home/But I had to carry you” - (53) “And if I could give you the moon/I would give you the moon” - (54) “You are sick and you're married/And you might be dying” - (55/56) “And you pushed me in/And now my feet can't touch the bottom of you” “But you're holding me like water in your hands/When you saw the dead little bird”

E - New Disaster - “Everybody is the same in this long no-win game/Where every new blood/Gets time to become resigned” - “Until everyone knows that your smile is just a ghost/The ghost of your smile was seen on a body in the park”

P - Savior Complex - “Baby, you're a vampire/You want blood and I promised” - “All the bad dreams that you hide/Show me yours, I'll show you mine”

E - Oh well, Ok - “If you get a feeling next time you see me/Do me a favor and let me know/Cause it's hard to tell, it's hard to say 'oh well, Ok'”

E - Last Call - “You're a tongueless talker/You don't care what you say”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Only a cold still life/ that fell down here to lay beside you”

P - ICU - (58) “But I feel something when I see you now/I feel something when I see you” - (59) “I hate your mom/I hate it when she opens her mouth/It's amazing to me/How much you can say/When you don't know what you're talking about” - “laying down on the lawn” “if you’re a work of art/I’m standing too close/I can see the brush strokes”

E - Happiness / The Gondola Man - “What I used to be/Will pass away and then you'll see/That all I want now/Is happiness for you and me”

E - Whatever (Folk Song in C) - “Whatever you're doing now would probably suit me fine/If you're all done, like you said you'd be/What are you doing hanging out with me?”

E - Big Ballad of Nothing - “You can do what you want to whenever you want to/You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you”

P - Graceland too - “Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment” - “Whatever she wants (Whatever you want)”

E - Bottle up and Explode “Bottle up and go/I can make it outside”

E - A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free - “God knows why my country don't give a fuck” - “Shine on me baby, because it's raining in my heart”

E - Alphabet Town - “Alphabet City is haunted”

P - I Know The End - “There's no place like my room” - “To some America First rap country song” “Driving out into the sun/Let the ultraviolet cover me up”- “I'll find a new place to be from/A haunted house with a picket fence”

[starshipsofstarlord]

First things First | Jack Kline & Peter Parker

Summary; Peter sees his ex back in town. Last time she was with her brothers, but this time, she has another companion. His name is Jack Kline, and he is her current boyfriend.

Warnings; some angst, jealousy, a bit of trash talk, smidge of violence, one swear word

“You’re back then.” Peter noticed, following you as you walked through the school halls, your head down as you attempted to ignore him. But however, you knew that you couldn’t pretend he wasn’t there forever, and so you softly sighed.

Last time, you hadn’t been in town too long, only a few weeks, cases were sprouting up left right and centre in Queens, and that was enough time for a relationship to briefly brew between the pair of you.

However, when the entourage of hunts came to an end, it had only been fair to cut sweet Peter loose, you hadn’t planned to return in any soon time. And here you were, a year in a half later, back in his hometown.

“You’re eyes are quite inquisitive, Parker, or do you need to ask me to put rock salt on my skin to prove that I’m not a ghost?” You barked back, which earnt yourself a confused frown.

“What?” He asked in reply, confused by your wording.

“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.” You dismissed, having already had the intel and advice from your brothers that two different worlds didn’t mix.

Peter was but a boy, a smart one, but for all that you were aware, he lived a mundane life. He was bullied at school, but he had a couple of friends, Ned and MJ.

MJ. She had liked Peter before you had disappeared in the impala, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the pair were together now. He had wanted to forget you, for causing him so much pain, he deserved to move on, as you had.

“What I got was that you told me you loved me, and then you went with the wind, and didn’t look back, not once.” He bit back, his statement making your body feel heavy.

It was guilt, a familiar feeling for a hunter. It often came when a life was lost by the life of a monster, and this time, it had been the same. You had taken away the happiness from your own life, you were the beast that ripped out someone’s heart.

“I did, but that doesn’t matter anymore Pete, I’m in love with somebody else. There’s nothing that I am entailed from hiding from him, no secrets, I can be myself with him.” You pursed your lips, relieved that you had got that off your chest.

“You never had to have secrets! Your family business is what dragged us down in the first place, you feel the need to follow your brothers around the world, and for what? To end up alone and unloved?”

“I love her.” Jack entered the hallway, he had been at the front office, asking about the plumbing, he said he heard a noise. It was what the victim had said before he died, and so the spawn of Lucifer was now questioning it.

Sam and Dean were downtown, at some bar, it had been where the victim had been, with a fake id, before his body had been found in the school bathroom. This left the group of you spread out, and operating around the city, wanting to find the creature that had ended the boy’s life.

Jack’s voice had been friendly, as though he were informing Peter of your relationship status. Neither of them knew each other, so he found no harm in letting the public know of your intimate bond.

The nephilim was most often than not a free speaker, he found no foul in letting his mouth run. He was so innocent, so pure, and perfect, you were pleased that you hadn’t tainted him nor gained his spite like you had with Peter.

“Jack, this is Peter. I met him last time I was around here. Peter, this is Jack, my boyfriend.” It was an awkward introduction, you held your hands together, watching as Jack held out his hand for your ex to shake.

Peter hesitantly shook Jack’s hand, lightly glaring at the boy. “It’s nice to meet a friend of y/n’s, not many that she has are her age.”

“Thanks for that Jack.” You laughed lightly, holding sweetly onto his arm, as to ensure him that he had done nothing wrong.

“We’re not friends.” Peter corrected him, squinting at you. “She doesn’t like the idea of any relationship with me, so she can pass on friendship.” He gave you one last look, before he walked away.

“Hi.” Jack saw your ‘friend’ in the hall, whilst you were questioning some other students. Peter reluctantly turned, going face to face with your boyfriend and partner in justifying crime.

“Hey.” His head briefly leant back, curious as to why the new boy was speaking to him. “Jack, right?”

“Yes, that is my name.” Jack nodded with a smile, the adorable gap in his teeth presenting itself clearly. “Have you felt any cold spots here recently, or smelt sulphur by any change?”

His question made Peter frown, he gulped and thought before he decided to answer. “I don’t know why your going around asking questions, but I also do not know why you’re dating y/n. She’ll break your heart, it’s what she does.”

“The two of you don’t sound like very good friends.” He speculated, tilting his head like a puppy dog, his bright eyes filled with curiosity.

“We weren’t just friends Jack, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you about me. Maybe there was a reason for that, you should ask her.” Peter crossed his arms, taking note of how he seemed to have angered the other boy.

The son of Lucifer was inhaling and exhaling through his nostrils, he was attempting to remain calm. But he couldn’t, his eyes seared with their golden pigment, and upon witnessing, Peter’s eyes widened and he was fast to sling webbing towards the mutant.

But it had no affect, not as Jack’s mouth opened, and a scream on another wavelength , which happened to throw the spider man backwards into the row of lockers. This was not normal, and Peter worried for the reason that you had the company of such a creature.

“What the hell are you?” Peter asked, wanting an answer so he could figure out a way to defeat him.

“I’m someone that loves y/n very much. Don’t worry, we won’t be in town much longer.” And with that, the strange and peculiar being walked away, leaving Peter stunned. For once, he wasn’t sure how he would improvise.

“You know the boy’s toilets are for guys, right?” Peter asked later in the day, as he watched you, whom was drenched in water, leave said restroom.

“I am more than aware, thankyou for that reminder Peter.” Each footstep dripped water upon the floor. That ghost had been a bitch to send off, but to your relief, you had done so.

“What are you doing here, really?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m going to be leaving tonight, I’ll be all out of your hair.” You spoke, trying to remain calm with your previous partner. “Have you seen Jack?”

“About that...” he noticed how you furrowed your brow with his words, and realised it would be better to get straight to the point. “He’s not normal, there’s something different about him. He’s dangerous.”

“I guess you witnessed something... supernatural?” He slowly nodded his head, thinking about how it could be considered as such. “Jack, he’s a nephilim, half angel, half human. That’s why I can’t stick around, my life is messy, and I have a duty to save people, you understand that, right?”

“Why would I understand that?” He hesitated, his voice stepping over his words in a worried stutter. “Angels?!” He repeated.

“Yeah, not every takes lightly to the news, and a bit of information; the majority are dicks.” You laughed, shoving your hands in your soggy pockets. “You really think I didn’t have a clue that I was dating a spiderman? I investigate abnormal occurrences for a living, it was quite easy to notice something was different about you.”

“So you look into things like cold spots and sulphur smells?” He remembered that was what Jack had mentioned earlier. Perhaps the possibility of angels wasn’t half crazy, the universe was expanding. It was certainly out there, but so was a talking, moving tree that enjoyed digital games and was experiencing puberty.

“Exactly.” You smiled, looking into his deep brown eyes, and finding some kind of peace between the pair of you.

“I think I saw Jack in the library.” He scratched the back of his neck, deciding to be a bigger person and give into the planet’s order.

“Thanks, see ya around Parker.” That expression you gave him shouldn’t have made him feel so giddy, he knew that this was another goodbye you were sending him. But the relief on your faces was beautiful.

You walked momentarily backwards, and he raised his hand in a signalled send off. He hoped that one day, he would see you again, maybe even with Blade as he killed vampires. Who knew?

One thing he was aware of was that you were happy with Jack, and that the two of you shared a life. You had an even amount of knowledge between you, and as much as Peter hated to admit it, you weren’t bound to leave the nephilim any time soon.

[the-modernmary]

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 5)

Chapter summary: Aaron and the rest of the BAU finally make an arrest on their case, and you spend the weekend at Aaron’s.

Warnings: SMUT, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms

prev. chapter || masterlist || read on ao3

I had a few, got drunk on you, and now I’m wasted

And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you tasted

- Harry Styles, “Medicine”

 ~~~~~~~

The investigation was slow going, and every day when you got off the metro to get to your internship, you would see the undercover van that you knew had BAU members cramped inside, sitting and waiting for somebody, anybody , to slip up and say something incriminating. 

  It was weird being at work knowing that it was bugged, but it did wonders for your productivity. Whenever Chris or another one of your friends at the office started to ask you about your personal life, you were able to deflect it with a quick “Sorry, I’m in the zone right now, and I’ve really got to focus!” Usually, you had no problem sharing, but you really didn’t want the FBI to have audio evidence of your retelling of you double fisting vodka Sprites the night before until you passed out in your bathtub. 

  You also hadn’t seen Aaron since that first night together, which was almost a week ago now. The two of you had been texting back and forth pretty consistently, but you quickly found that there was a variable that wasn’t there two years ago - Jack.

You should have realized that, of course , Jack would be living with Aaron now, but it never crossed your mind. Jack used to live with Haley, and Aaron rarely brought him up to you. Now that Jack lived with Aaron, it made things a little more complicated. It also meant that you couldn’t just show up at Aaron’s doorstep whenever you were feeling lonely, or vice versa. After a long and awkward phone call, Aaron and you had both agreed that it was best that Jack just didn’t meet you, just in case he got attached.

  “For now, at least,” Aaron had added at the end, and holy shit, you did not have the time to unpack whatever the fuck that meant.

  Especially not with Chris throwing a crumpled piece of paper at you like the two of you were in middle school and passing notes.

  You held up the ball of paper with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? You have the desk across from me, you could have just said my name.”

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked you, pointedly ignoring your question. “Nina just got the Catan expansion pack and she wants us all to come over.”

  You pursed your lips as you thought about the offer. You did love game nights with your friends, but it was Friday night and you were still holding out on the possibility of Aaron maybe being free and inviting you over. It was almost pitiful how touch starved you were after just a few days of not being with Aaron.

  “I’m not sure whether or not I’m busy tonight,” you admitted, maybe speaking a little too loudly in the direction of the listening devices, just in case Aaron was listening in. 

  Chris gave you a knowing smirk. “Oh, are you waiting to hear from your secret lover?”

  “Okay, don’t use the word ‘lover’ again,” you groaned. “And what makes you think that it was anything more than a one night stand?”

  “Because when you’re not actively texting, you’ve been checking your phone every 20 minutes.”

  Your face turned red as you sunk into your seat, trying and failing to hide yourself. Maybe if you willed it hard enough, the ground would open up and swallow you whole, just to save you from the embarrassment. You hadn’t realized you were checking your phone so often, but you also didn’t doubt it. 

  “Fine,” you grumbled, deciding that coming clean to your friends was going to be much easier than having to deal with them bringing it up at every moment possible. Besides, you didn’t have to give them all the details. “I will tell everybody all about him, but later . Not now.”

  Chris smirked as he leaned back in his chair, obviously proud of himself. You turned back to your work, mindlessly doing edits as you came up with a cover story in your head.

  Ran into an old friend, you could say. We got drinks, and then one thing led to another. That could work, except you came to the realization that you didn’t have any photos of Aaron, which would be suspicious if he was an old friend. You would have to look him up, which you were sure would just lead to a slew of FBI ID photos and news articles, which would mean that they’d just do some major googling of their own. You had avoided looking up Aaron, maybe in fear of what fucked up cases he had been involved in, but your friends would not hesitate.

  You could come up with something so ridiculous that they would just laugh about it. Yeah, I got a sugar daddy and he made me sign a nondisclosure agreement, sorry! You giggled to yourself just thinking about it. Aaron would probably be mortified at the thought. Although, he did wear a Rolex, so you guessed that anything was possible.

  “Holy shit, Y/N,” Chris mumbled, and you just gave a lazy hum as a reply, not really paying attention. “The FBI is here.”

  Your head snapped up at that . You whipped your head around so that you could face the entrance, and sure enough, the entire BAU team was walking in like they owned the place, with Aaron in the lead. They all had their FBI vests on, a sight which was way more attractive than it should have been. JJ and Reid stayed at the entrance to make sure nobody got out.

  “Everybody, please stay calm,” JJ called out, putting her hands up non threateningly. “Everything is okay, but we need you all to stay sitting exactly where you are.”

  A commotion came from the conference room and against your better judgment, you turned your head to watch what was going on. It wasn’t just one person getting arrested, it was every partner. You watched as Aaron spun Julian DuPont around by the wrist and pushed his face down on the conference table and oh, the FBI vest was nothing compared to watching Aaron arrest somebody.

  If anybody asked you if you got turned on during an FBI raid, you would vehemently deny it, but watching Aaron take out his handcuffs made your mind flash back to all those times you were in that same position, cuffed and bent over, completely at Aaron’s mercy. 

  Just as quickly as they came in, the BAU made their arrests and made their way back out. As Aaron passed your desk, his eyes met yours for a brief second and the corner of his mouth quirked up smugly. It was so subtle and quick that even you barely caught it, but you knew that look.

  At least you weren’t the only one in this situation with your mind in the gutter.

  Once the rest of the BAU was out of the building, JJ and Reid started the process of getting everybody else out of the office so that CSI could come in and finish looking around. When you passed by them, both agents greeted you with a warm smile, like the three of you were old friends.

  “Y/N, we’re going to need to get your statement before you go home,” Reid told you as you walked by, and you just nodded in confirmation.

  Once you got outside, you were immediately greeted by some agent named Anderson. He needed to get your statement on the work you did with the team, and you quickly gave him the PG version of the story. Your mind, however, was more focused on finding Aaron, who you knew had to be somewhere in the crowd. God, how long did it take to write down a simple statement?

  “I’ll take it from here, Anderson. Thank you.” 

  Aaron’s voice sent shivers down your spine and you spun around to look at him. You brought your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Nice arrest, although I’m surprised. Mr. DuPont doesn’t even drive himself to work, I can’t imagine him waiting out to kill somebody.”

  “That’s because he hired hitmen,” Aaron explained. “The victims were all bribing judges to get their cases dismissed, and all of those dismissed cases looked really bad for his prosecuting record.”

  You shrugged, placing your hands on his hips. “Probably not as bad as prison, though.”

  That actually got a laugh out of Aaron, but he quickly composed himself as another agent walked past the two of you. “Yeah, he’s not going to be practicing law ever again.” 

  You opened your mouth to say something - maybe to invite him over? You weren’t totally sure - when one of the CSI’s came over to ask Aaron something.

  Aaron waved him off, telling him that he would be there in a moment, before turning back to you. “My house will be empty all weekend,” he whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was watching. “Pack a bag, come over.”

  Before you could even answer him, Aaron had already taken off. You made your way towards the metro so that you could run home before heading to Aaron’s. You had to fight the smile that was growing on your face when Aaron mentioned packing a bag. Not only was it an unspoken promise of a weekend full of sex, it also meant that he was planning on making room for you to keep some of your stuff at his house. The two of you were quickly falling back into your old routines, and it was weirdly comforting.

  When you got to your house, you made a split second decision to change out of your work clothes into a more casual outfit, although it didn’t matter much what you were wearing. It’s not like it was going to stay on for very long. As you packed your bag, you ordered an Uber, knowing it would get you to Aaron’s place faster than the metro. 

  Sure, you were a little impatient, but it had been so long since you had spent the night at Aaron’s place. It always intrigued you how different it was at his house than it was at yours. You were just staying in a shoebox apartment while you were in college - something liveable and temporary until after you graduated and got a job where you could put actual roots down. Your decor was fairly minimum, an assortment of knick-knacks and photos of your friends.

  Aaron’s place was different. It was a certifiable, adult house with framed art and random decorative bowls scattered around. All of his kitchenware was a part of a matching set and his living room looked like all the pieces were picked out by an interior designer. In a weird way, being at Aaron’s house gave you a glimpse of the life you could have in just a few years. Sometimes, it was easy to imagine that you were a part of his world.

  You couldn’t think like that, though. Especially not when he greeted you at his door with an eager kiss, pulling you in so that you were pressed against him.

  “I’m going to use this entire weekend,” Aaron mumbled against your lips in between kisses. His hands slid up your sides, pulling your shirt off almost immediately. “To thoroughly and completely ruin you, until you can only say my name.” 

  Your fingers tangled in his hair as you smiled into the kiss, your fingers already working on the buttons of his shirt. A soft moan escaped your lips, which only encouraged him to deepen the kiss.

  The two of you stumbled towards Aaron’s bedroom, only detaching your lips when absolutely necessary and leaving a trail of clothes behind you. You needed to be naked, to feel your bare skin pressed against his. His hands were impossibly everywhere all at once - running up your thighs, cupping your breasts, and gripping your hips so hard that it was bound to leave bruises. Your body burned everywhere he touched and soon all you could think about was him and how badly you wanted him to touch you where it mattered.

  Once you got to his bedroom, Aaron pressed you against the wall. You tried to grind against him, but he moved one of his hands onto your hips so that he could hold you in place. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, sucking just enough to make your back arch. “You have no idea how often I thought of you this week. How hard it was to listen to you and not think about how you sound when you’re begging for me. How badly I needed you.”

  Your nail scratched down his back lightly, just enough to elicit a soft hiss from him. “Desperation is unbecoming on you, Aaron,” you teased, knowing that would get a reaction out of him.

  It worked. One of his hands stayed on your hip, pressing you firmly against the wall, while his other hand tangled itself in your hair, pulling your head back so that your face was lifted up towards him. He kept you at an arm's distance as his eyes raked your body up and down hungrily.

  “I’m desperate?” he said scornfully. “Coming from the girl who is so needy that she couldn’t stay away from her phone for more than a few minutes, just waiting for me to want you. I could have called you at any time, and you would have dropped everything just to let me use you, isn’t that right? You’d let me do anything to you, just like the filthy slut you are.”

  You visibility gulped at his statement but you nodded obediently, which earned you a sharp tug of your hair.

  “Yes, Aaron, fuck ,” you gasped out. “I would have let you do anything at any time, just please…”

  Aaron gave you a predatory grin as the hand on your hip slowly made its way up your stomach until it cupped your right breast, thumbing lightly over your nipple. It wasn’t enough to get any real pleasure, but it made you moan all the same.

   “You did such a good job this week,” he murmured, looking at you almost worshipfully like he wanted to commit you to memory.  “I was going to give you whatever you wanted tonight. But maybe that would make me too desperate .”

  You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was no use. “I- I-” you stuttered out. You couldn’t think straight.

  “I- I-,” Aaron mocked. “I thought you were a lot more intelligent than that. Come on, Y/N, whatever you want. Use your words. Unless pleasure’s turned you into a stupid whore.” He punctuated the last word with a light spank to your clit, which made you cry out and your legs instinctively try to close.

  “I want you to use your mouth,” you begged, arching your back in a pitiful attempt to create some form of contact. Your shoulders pressed against the wall was the only thing keeping you upright.

  “Where?” he asked all too casually.

  Your breathing was still shaky at best, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with Aaron. He looked back at you expectantly, waiting patiently for your answer.

  You slowly raised your hand to point to your left breast, which so far had been woefully ignored. “Here,” you said hesitantly, not sure whether or not he was going to tease you. While Aaron always gave you what you asked for eventually, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make you beg for it first.

  To his credit, however, Aaron immediately bent down and attached his mouth to your nipple, his teeth gently scraping over the sensitive flesh. His eyes never left yours, he wanted to watch your reaction. 

  Feeling more confident, you cupped the sides of his face and pulled him off you, and the sound it made was obscene. “I want you to eat me out,” you whispered, blushing as you said it. “I want to feel myself cum on your face, please .”

  Aaron smirked as he slid down to his knees, kissing all the way down your stomach. “Good girl, you asked so nicely,” he mumbled against your skin and it sent shivers up your spine. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, giving him a perfect few of your pussy, slick with your arousal. “Look at you, dripping down your thighs before I’ve even started. Desperation is unbecoming on you, Y/N,” he mocked. He was using your words against you, and you didn’t even care. You just wanted him to do something, anything.

  Aaron ran a finger through your folds, ghosting over your clit. You hips bucked, desperate for more contact, but his finger was already gone. “Look at me,” he ordered, and as soon as you did, you were greeted with the image of Aaron admiring the wetness that was covering his finger. Then he stuck the finger in his mouth, smirking as he did, and you moaned out at the sight. “You taste so good, Y/N.”

  “Please, Aaron, I need you to- oh! ” you begged, but you were cut off by Aaron licking a strip up your center, still avoiding your clit.

  His hands came around and grabbed onto your ass as he got to work, lapping through your folds. You tangled your hands in his hair, rocking your hips against his mouth, craving more . His tongue teased at your clit, humming every once in a while in a way that sent vibrations throughout you. Without warning, he pushed two fingers into you curling them in just the right spot.

  As Aaron’s fingers pumped in and out of you, his lips focused solely on your clit. He flicked it once with his tongue before sucking, relishing in the way you moaned out his name. You tightened your grip in Aaron’s hair as your first orgasm hit you, your whole body shaking and a string of expletives leaving your mouth. But that didn’t stop Aaron.

  He added a third finger and replaced his mouth with his thumb on your clit. “You’re going to give me another one,” he practically growled. “And then I’m going to fuck you until you’re a whining mess. This is what you asked for isn’t it?”

  When you didn’t answer right away, he turned his head to the side and bit down on the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh, causing you to cry out. He sucked on that same spot for a little before dragging his tongue over the newly formed bruise.

  “Yes, I want that, Aaron,” you cried out. “I want you .”

  He reattached his lips to your folds with newfound vigor, making tight circles around your clit. His free hand snaked up your sides to your breast, pinching and twisting at your nipple. You continued to beg, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. All you knew was that you were so full of want , want for your second orgasm, and want for Aaron.

  Aaron fucked you with his fingers with ease, as if he had all the time in the world. You ground down on him again, chasing your orgasm the best you could. Your eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure, but you needed more. You opened your eyes, only to be met with Aaron’s blown pupils, eyes full of desire. You could almost feel his smirk as he wrapped his lips around your clit and pulled .

  The heel of your foot dug into his back as you cried out, your second orgasm twice as intense as your first one. Aaron’s fingers kept pumping into you lazily, and even your panting couldn’t cover the filthy sounds it was making. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs.

  Aaron slowly removed his fingers from you and lightly swiped them over your clit once more as he stood up, which almost made you completely lose your balance, a sob tearing from your mouth.

  He held his glistening fingers in front of your mouth and you opened obediently, moaning as you tasted yourself on him. Your tongue swirled around his fingers, making sure to clean every trace of you off him.

  Aaron removed his fingers from your mouth. “Do you have one more in you?” he asked, and it was softer than you were used to. “It’s okay if you don’t. We have all weekend.”

  “I need your dick in me,” you said in lieu of an answer. “Please, please fuck me.”

  Aaron pulled you to his bed and you all but collapsed onto your back, your legs still shaking from your back to back orgasms. Aaron crawled on top of you, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake, all the way from your stomach to your mouth.

  “You’re so beautiful when you come for me,” he whispered, teasing your entrance with the head of his cock. All of his movements were gentle, bordering on caring. “Yelling out my name so that everybody can hear that you’re mine .”

  He pressed into you slowly, his first few thrusts shallow, and you could see that it was taking all of his willpower to keep teasing you like this. You dragged your nails down his back, not caring if it left marks on him.

  “Aaron,” you whimpered, bucking your hips to try and get more movement. “Please fuck me. I need more.”

  Aaron was always good at giving you what you wanted.

  His hips snapped into you harshly, and you had to attach your lips to his shoulder to keep from screaming out. Aaron thrusted into you hard and fast, wanting to feel every inch of you. He stretched you in all the best ways and your back arched off the bed. You were holding on to Aaron like a lifeline, and all he could do was grunt out your name over and over, repeating it like a prayer. 

  Your third orgasm came fast, spreading through your body like a wildfire, and you could feel the tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the overstimulation. Aaron’s thrusts became more desperate and harsher as he felt you squeeze around him. He dropped his head to your shoulder, his breathing ragged and you could tell that he was so close-

  “Cum for me… Fill me up,” you purred into Aaron’s ear, and that’s all it took for him to finish, holding himself deep inside you as his warmth filled you. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, both trying to catch your breath. You brought your head up to kiss Aaron, slowly and deliberately and filled with… something . You couldn’t figure out what it was yet.

  Aaron pulled out of you slowly and flopped onto the bed next to you, but he reached over and held your hand. The two of you laid like that for several moments, giving yourselves time to come back down to reality. Finally, Aaron rolled on his side to check on you. You admired the flush on his body, especially as it rose to his cheeks and made him look like he was practically glowing.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, his thumb rubbing lazy circles on your hand. “Can I do anything?” 

  You turned your head to smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze, before sitting up. Aaron was always so careful about aftercare, which you were immensely appreciative of. “Oh, I’m fine, I’m just going to go to the bathroom. A UTI might ruin the mood,” you joked.

  When you returned, Aaron was already in a pair of pajama pants and sitting in bed. He had also laid out one of his shirts for you, which caused your stomach to do flips. Despite the fact that you actually did pack pajamas, you chose to wear his shirt. You could feel his eyes watching your every movement as you made your way back into bed, leaning back against the headboard.

  Aaron placed an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him, catching his lips in another kiss, this one soft and sensual. You placed your hand on his bare chest as the kiss deepened, and Aaron’s fingers ghosting over your skin sent shivers down your spine.

  “So,” you murmured against his lips. “What are your plans for me this weekend?” It was partially a joke, but you wanted to be as prepared as possible for just how sore you were going to be on Monday after an entire three days of being thoroughly wrecked by Aaron.

  Aaron’s lips curved up into a smile as he dropped a kiss on the top of your head, letting his lips linger for just a second too long. “Hm, we can play it by ear. Although, I was thinking Indian for dinner tomorrow night?”

  You were too old to get butterflies, but there was something so soft and so sincere in his reply that it made your stomach do flips. Aaron yawned, probably not even giving a second thought to his reply, and pulled you in closer to him. 

  “Yeah,” you conceded, closing your eyes. “Indian sounds good.” You could deal with the butterflies later.

[lovestruckay]

Request: "Okay so imagine Viktor with a male SO who's like 6'8+, super buff and looks like he'll kill you but he's actually a total sweetheart... Any SFW and/or NSFW headcanons for that?"

Pairing: Viktor x Masc!S/O

A/N: Viktor deserves somebody who could scoop him up into their arms. NSFW under the cut!

SFW

Viktor had always had mixed feelings about his height. He liked the convenience that came from being tall - like being able to reach high places and having long enough arms to reach things that fell behind furniture - but it came with it’s fair share of irritations. Things like difficulty finding showers or baths that fit him, feeling cramped while driving cars, or having to double check the height of every doorway before stepping through.

More than anything, his height was frustrating when it came to romance. For one, so many people - based on nothing but how tall he was - assumed he was a top. More frequently than not, the people who would show interest in him would be other bottoms mistaking him for a dominant partner by virtue of nothing but their size kinks.

Secondly, and more importantly, no top he met was big enough or strong enough to even pick him up, let alone anything else. At nearly six feet two inches tall and almost one hundred sixty pounds, no partner was able to make him feel delicate.

He just wanted his lover to be able to pick him up and hold him, was that so much to ask?

It was a struggle he could do nothing but put up with his entire life. At least, until he met him.

Being so tall, Viktor was used to looking out across crowds of people and seeing the tops of their heads. Occasionally, he’d make eye contact with others who were above six feet tall across the sea of people but, more often than not, he was looking down on everyone he met.

The only people he had even met who were taller than him were Captain Obi and Lieutenant Konro and even that wasn’t by much. (If Viktor considered his hair part of his height, he was still taller than them both.)

But when he met him, it was the first time he had looked up at someone.

Not only was this giant of a man a whole head taller than him but he was astonishingly built as well, nearing Obi’s muscular body type. He looked rough around the edges with an intimidating scowl that growled he would gladly break anyone into pieces just for the fun of it.

Viktor spent an embarrassing amount of time just gawking at him from across the room until the man had confidently met his gaze. His expression made it seem like he wanted to eat him alive and the feeling had Viktor’s heart picking up its pace in his chest for more than one reason.

Was he gay? Was he a top? Was he single? Viktor was a man of science so of course he had to go run some experiments and find out.

The mysterious stranger looked like he could kill him with his bare hands but Viktor was used to having Joker as a friend so nothing scared him. He just walks right over and breaks the ice with a dorky science joke and, when the man grins and laughs, Viktor blushes so hard his face burns.

He may look sinister from a distance but, once he smiled, his entire face lit up like the sun. When he spoke, Viktor could easily tell how warm and kind he truly was, a gentle giant hidden behind a threatening exterior.

He flirted with him for the rest of the night and, even though Viktor was embarrassed by how often he blushed and stuttered during their conversation, the tall stranger asked for his number. Not even an hour after they parted, Viktor got a text on his phone, his name appearing on the ID. He smiled down at the device, immediately texting back and starting their flirting all over again.

Their first date was that weekend and, ever surprised by how his potential partner’s true personality was so far removed from his intimidating exterior, they went on a date to the aerospace museum.

When Viktor asked him point blank about his sexual alignment to determine their compatibility, the man just chuckled and effortlessly pinned him against the wall.

“What do you think, sweetheart?” he rumbled in his ear before pulling back with a wink, leaving him reeling.

The first time he picked him up, Viktor immediately fell in love. It was the first time someone had made him feel small in the way he had always craved. He especially adored being carried, his heart soaring in his chest when his lover scooped him up into his arms like he was nothing.

Viktor will climb this man like a tree, he loves that he can just hang off of his shoulders or perch himself on his broad chest and kiss him over and over. His lover never once struggled with his size, instead swinging him around to make him laugh or wrapping his arms around him to pull him closer.

He absolutely cherishes being the little spoon and the feeling of his lover wrapped around him. It makes him feel so protected, something he had never gotten to feel before.

NSFW

His partner dominates him in such subtle ways that always has heat pooling in his belly. When he’s sitting at his desk and he leans over him to look at his computer, pressing against his back. When they’re sleeping in bed together and he loops his arm around his waist, tugging him flush against his chest. When they’re walking together and his broad hand firmly grips his hip, guiding him around some obstacle he hadn’t noticed while they were talking.

Viktor is very much into the size and strength difference. He gets off on being thrown around and the fact his lover can do it so easily is a huge turn on for him. When he sweeps him off of his feet to carry him to bed and have his way with him, he’s already hard by the time they get through the door.

Speaking of size difference, Viktor had drooled the first time he felt the size and weight of his partner’s member in his hands. It had taken a lot of preparation the first few times they slept together - something he had been happy to provide - before he gradually adapted to his partner’s massive size.

Viktor loves the feeling of both of his wrists being pinned by just one of his large hands. His thick, calloused fingers were as strong as handcuffs when he held him down. Instead of having to give in to a partner who Viktor knew he was stronger than, he had the strength to actually make him submit in bed. With him, he knows he’s truly being dominated.

He had never been with someone who balanced softness and strength like his partner did. He had such tightly leashed power behind those hands of his but the gentleness in which he used them gave him shivers. Viktor knew that he could absolutely break him in half if he wanted - something he sometimes found himself begging for in bed.

Just the thought of his heavy chest pressed down against his back and pinning him down as he got fucked into the bed is enough to get him hard.

Viktor had never been able to ride someone before since he was always so much bigger than any potential partner. He doesn’t have to worry about accidentally sitting on him too hard or pressing down on him too roughly, he could just let himself come undone as he bounced in his lap.

When his lover is taking him from behind and filling him too gently, Viktor doesn’t even have to worry about hurting him or him not being able to provide the rough sex he needs when he bucks back into his thrusts.

He even has the strength to lift Viktor into his arms and pound into him standing up, something that drives him absolutely wild. (He never knew he could be so loud in bed until he got a hold of him.)

The aftercare is incredible. He showers him with love, helping Viktor come down from his high with praise and affection. He’s always sure to check in, making sure he didn’t go too hard or that he went hard enough, and even helps him clean up with surprising gentleness.

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Mentions of fights and blood.

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: It’s finally here! I’m going to do a taglist so send me a message if you want to be added!

@guess--monster​

Masterlist                   Next Chapter->

You have waited years for this moment, five to be exact yet now that you were parked in front of the prison your best friend was locked in, the place that he had been living in all these days since that fateful night your body was completely glued to your car seat.

Your hands had only left the steering wheel to turn off the car's ignition and your eyes were frozen on the boring looking building placed in front of you. Sighing, you reached up with one of your shaky hands to brush some of your hair out of your face, calming down had been impossible since this morning, in fact, you were sure it was a miracle that you hadn't suffered a heart attack yet. You could feel your heart pounding against your ribcage and you knew it would beat even faster as soon as you stepped out of the car. 

Your mind was not better, there were a million questions running through it, echoing in your concerned thoughts. Would he remember you? How would he react when he saw you? Did he change or was he still your Jongho? And the most important question out of the thousands you kept coming up with. 

Was he mad at you? 

He was locked in that cell and wouldn't get out of it for a lot of years thanks to you. What happened that night had only been your fault yet Jongho took advantage of your shock to save you from the horrible fate that would have awaited you in court. No matter how much you and the best lawyers you had found for him fought for his freedom, his reputation as a gang member and the sins he committed for that night were stronger than the truth nobody believed and put your best friend behind bars for an eternity. 

Jongho had every right to hate you even when you were here to get him out of this prison. 

The plan didn't have any details yet, you only had the objective and even though you believed your life would totally change once your best friend was out of that cell he now called home you couldn't stop thinking it would be worth it. 

Jongho deserved to be free, he deserved to live his life. 

"Come on…You can do this" You whispered to yourself, finally opening the door to get out of it as you grabbed your purse "You owe him your life, you can't back out of this now"

Your voice shook as much as your hands did, you knew you couldn't walk inside in this state but fear was taking control of your body. The fact that you were planning to set Jongho free when the law said he should be locked up for more years than he could survive made you a bit paranoid. It was completely impossible that somebody would guess your plan on your first day at work but who were you trying to lie to? You've always been a good girl, rules were never broken by you and now, all of a sudden, you were planning an escape plan for your imprisoned best friend Jongho. 

You were way out of your comfort zone. 

"Identification please" The guard's voice who was standing on the other side of the fence snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes travelled up to him although you couldn't see much of his face thanks to the blue cap he was wearing. 

"Uh yeah, sorry" Your voice shook a little as your hands instantly fished into your purse, getting your wallet and your ID out so he could check it. 

He looked down at it before looking at you once again, now that he was entirely sure you were the same person in the picture, he signaled for his mates to open the fence and let you walk inside and deeper into the lion's dent. 

"Have a nice day" He said with a small smile, nodding his head once in a greeting way as you walked inside. Too nervous to speak again, you only glanced his way and nodded back, fearing that he would somehow guess your intentions based on the tone of your voice. 

With the sound of your high heels clicking against the pavement, you tried to take deep breaths as you walked into the prison, ready to face your best friend after so many years and ready to get him out of there as soon as you could. 

In one of the hundreds of cells that were inside the building, Jongho laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

Everyone had warned him of all the dangers that hid in prison. Psychos waiting to kill you, corrupted cops that wouldn't miss the chance to ruin your life, the lost of friends that were either murdered by somebody else or by themselves, the homesickness….But nobody had warned him about boredom and how dangerous it was for the mind to repeat the same exact routine one day after another.  After his first four years locked up he needed some changes or his sanity would start to get damaged.

"I heard someone new is coming to work here" Min Yoongi, Jongho's cell partner commented out of nowhere. He was not much of a talkative person, Yoongi only started a conversation when his own thoughts got too scary for him to handle and he needed a distraction. 

He didn't tell you this of course but Jung Hoseok, one of his closest friends, liked to gossip too much and sometimes useful information about other inmates slipped from his lips. Jongho had always been smart enough to keep his private information for himself. 

"Oh really?" Jongho didn't care too much, the people working in this prison were as nice as….Let's just say they weren't nice at all "New guard?"

"New nurse" Now, Yoongi was one of the few people that always managed to hear about everything people talked about. No matter how quietly you talked, how secretive you were, he was always there listening, it was obvious why Hoseok was his closest friend, Yoongi was a fountain of gossip "Jaehyun, the guy from cell 67, hurt the last one so bad during a check-up that the poor guy ended up being too scared to come back to work"

"He was an asshole so whatever Jaehyun did, the guy probably deserved it" He muttered shrugging, keeping his eyes on the ceiling as they talked "Let's hope this one is better"

"I heard she is a girl, so she might be a bit more sensitive" Yoongi added, sitting up straight on his bed. 

"A girl?" Jongho frowned, turning his head to move his eyes away from the ceiling and back to Yoongi just to make sure he wasn't just fucking around with him. 

"Crazy right?" Yoongi scoffed "With all the pervs that are locked up in here I bet she won't last too long"

"Or maybe she is a badass and kicks all our asses" Jongho said with a small smirk, making Yoongi smile too in amusement "Who knows?"

Little did Jongho know that the nurse they were talking about would be you and that you were only a coward with a mission disguised as a badass. 

“So this is where you will be working” The guard, whose name you hadn’t had the pleasure to discover yet, that had been guiding you through the facilities mostly showing you the areas that were empty of inmates, stopped once you reached the nurse office “Though, I would recommend you to bring a book or something to entertain yourself”

Your eyebrows arched up, curious at his advice “Not to many patients to deal with?” You asked with a polite smile. Not that you were disappointed by that, you had only wanted to work in this place to get Jongho out somehow, not to treat some people that could snap your neck before you blinked.

“If it’s a good day you won’t get any visits” He answered, hands in his pockets, relaxed as the two of you chatted. He didn’t seem to be looking forward to going back to his work and showing the newbie around seemed to be the perfect excuse to avoid that “Unfortunately, there are bad days too” He sighed tiredly, hinting that he had been present in more bad days than he would like. 

“What would you define as a bad day?” You asked hesitantly, you weren’t sure if you really wanted to know what he considered a bad day. You were at a prison after all.

“Someone getting stabbed, beated to almost death, strang-”

“I think I get it now” You interrupted before he could keep listing horrible events that you didn’t even want to think about “I hope you all don’t go through bad days too often”

The guard smiled sympathetically “That depends on how well these guys want to behave” The two of you stayed silent for a second, it was obvious that the conversation topics between the two of you were slowly coming to an end despite his insistence of keeping the chatting alive “Don’t worry about your safety though, most of the guys here wouldn’t hurt you and the ones that possibly would are never left alone, a guard will stay with you if they think you could be at risk” You nodded at this information, partly glad at that. 

Prisons were no joke and truly dangerous people were locked up in here, murderers and rapists were something you would have to deal with if you wanted your plan to go well. Although this kind of worried you, Jongho had been sentenced because he murdered somebody and even though newspapers made sure to let the world know that the life he ended that night was not an innocent one, he was still considered a murderer and a gang-member. Would they leave him alone with you if he ever needed medical assistance? Because if they didn’t, you were royally fucked.

“That’s a relief” You said with a small smile, hand going up to your chest as you let out a small sigh “I was a bit worried about that, I’ve never worked in this kind of…” Your voiced died down a little, not really sure about how to refer to this place without sounding scared as fuck or insulting “Kind of place”

“Don’t worry, the inmates behave most of the time” Not going to lie, the fact that they didn’t behave all the time wasn’t surprising but that didn’t make it less scary. The guard opened his mouth to say something else but a static voice coming from his walkie-talkie interrupted your conversation, signaling him that it was about time for him to come back to his real work. Throwing a small smile your way, he picked up the device and muttered a quiet ‘On my way’ before turning his attention back to you “Well, I’ll see you around miss” He said with a friendly smile, nodding his head as his feet started walking backwards “Good luck on your first day!” 

You nodded, standing outside of the infirmary until he disappeared around the corner. Left alone in that hall you truly didn’t know what to do with yourself, despite his reassurance of the guards protecting you from any danger you couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by the idea of having to treat inmates. Jongho better not be mad at you or you would beat his ass.

Sighing you finally opened the door to what would be your work space for as long as you needed to perfect your plan and the situation didn’t improve. Nobody had told you what had happened to the last person that abandoned this position but by the blood on the wall poorly cleaned you could slightly guess what had happened.

“The things you get yourself into” You whispered to yourself, dropping your purse on the desk as you walked deeper into the dusty room, eyes scanning your surroundings and purposefully avoiding the blood stains on the white wall.

“That’s exactly what my mom tells me whenever she visits” 

You were startled by the new voice coming from behind you, hands instantly going to your chest where your heart was pounding incredibly hard against your ribcage and breath getting caught in your throat, good thing you hadn’t been holding something like your phone or you would have dropped it for sure.

When you turned around to find the source of your almost heart attack, what you found standing there didn’t make it less scary. Your first inmate patient was standing by the doorway and by the lack of guards around him, you guessed he wasn’t considered a threat. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you” 

He was tall, like ridiculously tall. This guy was probably three head taller than you and even though it probably wasn’t his intention, his height only made him more intimidating for you. Although, the way his smile seemed shy and his eyes darted away from you gave away that he was being honest. His hair was blond and looked fluffy, how his hair managed to look better than yours in a place like this was a mystery but if you two would have been in a totally different situation you would have asked about the products he used.

This wasn’t the time to think of that. Dumbass.

“It’s alright, you just interrupted my daydreaming session” You said with a small smile in return, forcing yourself to relax and not be so on edge. Just because he was in this place didn’t mean he would try to kill you whenever he got the chance. “Can I help you?” He nodded to your question, less tense now that you had visibly relaxed and decided it would be a good moment to walk into the room too, always keeping his distance with you. He was probably conscious of your nerves and didn’t want to freak you out.

“I’m Mingi or inmate 2356 but you know, since numbers are difficult to remember you can call me by my name” His little presentation mixed with the friendly smile that stretched the corners of his lips upwards brought a smile of your own to your face.

“Well, nice to meet you inmate 2356” You joked with a smirk, leaning back against your desk as you crossed your arms on your chest, keeping down the bubbly chuckle that threatened to spill from your lips.

“Damn, she’s good with numbers, what do I do know?” He joked back, laughing quietly as he fidgeted with the hem of his orange clothes. “Let’s start all over again, my name is Mingi, nice to meet you” His smile widened when you finally chuckled, if his objective had been relaxing you in his presence then he had done a pretty good job.

“Nice to meet you Mingi” You said amused, not scared of him and his height anymore as your eyes travelled down his figure, searching any wounds that you could treat or anything that told you he was sick but to your surprise, nothing was found “You look fine to me, what can I help you with?” 

“Well, you can say no if you don’t want to but I used to help the last guy that worked here, you know, we all have to study or work in here and since books were never for me I worked my way to the Infirmary!” He said with a proud smile, one that kind of make you think he was cute “So I was wondering if I could keep learning and helping you out, I promise I won’t mess things up and that I’ll take this seriously”

The way he kept saying that he wouldn’t mind if you rejected him but also kept lowkey trying to convince you made your smile even bigger. He seemed to be a nice guy and you honestly wouldn’t mind having some company around, it would surely make things a bit more difficult for you and Jongho but maybe if he even showed he could be trusted, you could tell him your true intentions and plans. Mingi could be helpful for sure.

“Okay, having some company sounds nice” You accepted, uncrossing your arms and getting ready to clean the room a little and organize everything on the shelves. There was so much work to do and so little time to keep friendly chatting with Mingi.

“Thanks God, I really didn’t want to go back to painting classes” He mumbled while watching you, pulling the sleeves of his uniform up so he could start helping you out in whatever you were planning to do at the moment. 

“I’m assuming you weren’t born to be the next Van Gogh?” You asked chuckling, hearing how Mingi snorted.

“These hands were made to make many things but paintings are not one of them for sure” He answered and even though your eyes weren’t on him right now, you could hear the smile on his lips.

“I hope they were made to heal people” You teased.

“Were they? We’ll see” He said in a light tone obviously joking “So what’s your name? Since you don’t have a number I can easily remember” Mingi muttered teasing you about your greeting earlier, making you smile again.

“My name is (Y/N)” You simply said.

Mingi froze in his place, his smile only getting wider as he turned around to look at you. He had been having the feeling that he knew you as soon as he walked in the infirmary but he hadn’t been able to guess the reason why you were so familiar to him. Now that you had said your name, Mingi remembered how many times his friend had spoken about you, how easily was to make him smile whenever he remembered your shenanigans and oh god, let’s not talk about the picture he had in his cell of the two of you. Sure you looked way younger but Mingi was sure you were her, you were Jongho’s girl.

“Wait, your (Y/N)?” He asked genuinely surprised, making you stop your rearranging of the medicines that were on the shelves to turn around and look at him.

“I just told you” You snorted, not really getting why he was asking that.

“I can’t wait to tell Jongho you’re here” He said smiling warmly.

“You know Jongho?” You asked surprised, eyes glued to his face.

“Of course I do” He said as if it was the same obvious thing, pointing to the tattoo on his wrist “We were in the same gang”

[365days365movies]

February 19, 2021: The Phantom of the Opera (2004) (Part 1)

I love musicals.

Hands down, when talking cinematic adaptations of musicals, my favorite is Little Shop of Horrors. I’ve seen it MANY times, and will see it many, MANY more. And I’m not the only one. I mean, obviously, but in this case, I’m referring to my girlfriend. She’s chosen to represent herself with a GIF from her favorite musical, Hairspray. So, here she is:

Ravishing. Now, because it’s currently our anniversary, I let her pick today’s movie from my list. And so, she chose a musical that neither she nor I have seen: 2004′s The Phantom of the Opera. And some of you may now be saying, “What, this guy said he liked movie musicals, and he hasn’t seen TPotS? That’s like saying you haven’t seen Grease, or Singin’’ in the Rain, or, PFFT, West Side Story!”

...About that...

Yeah, yeah, I know! It’s insane, and I’m a hypocrite. I’ll be getting to the rest of those eventually, and one of them’ll be coming in the next couple of days, I promise. You can probably guess which one. Anyway, fact of the matter is that we’re gonna watch it tonight, and I’m looking forward to it. 

However, there’s another factor to this, and that’s the fact that this film...doesn’t have the best reputation amongst fans of the original musical. And, yeah, this should ideally be the Michael Crawford version, but the Butler version is the one I have access to, so we’re going for it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Paris, 1919, back when the whole city was in black-and-white for a year. They lost the budget for color after World War I. Anyway, at an old opera house, an auction is taking place, and items found within the theater are for sale. One of these is a music box with a monkey on it, an item which sponsors a bidding war between an older woman, and an older man in a wheelchair. I’m sure we’ll find out who they are eventually.

Anyway, a broken chandelier is also up for option, and was involved in the mysterious disaster of the “Phantom of the Opera” fiasco. They turn it on with electric light, and as they raise it to the ceiling, the organist goes fuckin’ NUTS. The song’s so loud that it REVERSES TIME, and we’re now in color, in the year 1870 at the same opera house.

The theatre, managed by the soon-to-retire Monsieur Lefèvre (James Fleet), has just been purchased by Richard Firmin (Ciaran Hinds) and Gilles André (Simon Callow), who are there to observe. On stage, a rehearsal for the opera Hannibal is taking place, and the costume’s are already...like, a LOT, not gonna lie. The headliner for the show is soprano (and drama queen supreme) Carlotta Giudicelli (Minnie Driver), and is being funded by patron Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (Patrick Wilson). 

The background dancers are instructed by Madame Giry (Miranda Richardson), and include her daughter, Meg (Jennifer Ellison), and her adopted daughter, Christine Daaé (Emmy Rossum). As the rehearsal takes place, an accident happens on stage, almost injuring Carlotta. Enraged, she leaves, and refuses to perform.

Meanwhile, Madame Giry finds a letter from the Phantom, who demands his normal monthly salary of 20,000 francs, as for Box 5 to be left open. While the new owners think that this is ridiculous, they also note that it’s pointless without a lead singer for their show. 

However, Christine is volunteered, and shows that she is indeed a talented singer. The show goes on, and Christine is a smash, much to Carlotta’s dismay. At this point, Raoul also discovers that this is his long lost childhood friend (and possibly long lost love) Christine, which she also noticed earlier.

But this is because of a mysterious teacher, who sings to her from the walls of the theatre. Meg comes in to congratulate her (through song), and asks who her tutor is. Meg responds...in song (”Angel of Music”).

Afterwards, Madame Giry also congratulates her, and tells her that the Phantom is pleased with her. Right after, Raoul also pays her a visit, and the two reconnect on shared memories of times in an attic in the summer. She tells Raoul that she is visited by an Angel of Music, and cannot go to the dinner that night with him. And the Phantom agrees, as he locks Christine in her room. YIKES. 

And as literally every person in the theatre except Christine leaves, the Phantom serenades her, angered by Raoul’s presence, and Christine’s potential dalliance with him (”Mirror”). And through the mirror, he takes her to a mysterious crypt beneath the theatre. And as they sing their strange duet in the form of the title song (”The Phantom of the Opera”)...I try to resist talking about Gerard Butler until later. And it’s hard. It’s SO hard, guys.

But, OK, he takes her away on a...sewer horse...how the FUCK did he get that horse down there? And wait, WAIT, does he put her on that horse to walk her, like, 20 feet to the gondola? Like...WHY DO YOU HAVE THE HORSE? That is...monumentally wasteful. Where do you keep the horse? Does he feed the horse? How much? How often? With what? Does the horse eat the sewer rats? Is there naturally growing sewer hay? Does the Phantom’s salary go towards buying food for the horse, or buying new horses when the original ones DIE OF STARVATION - WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS HORSE?!?!? WHOMSTVE THE FUCK

And yes, I love this fuckin’ song (not the singers, but we’ll get there), but this is distracting me alongside the statues of naked men in the sewer, because...well, Joel Schumacher. What can I say, it’s kind of his aesthetic. Anyway, we get officially introduced to the Phantom of the Opera (Gerard Butler), a very handsome-looking man who likes wearing a half-mask.

I say handsome, because the Phantom in this movie, looks...fine. HE LOOKS OK. HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE WEARING A MASK. What, did somebody throw a hot candle at his face once, and he freaked out over it and ran into the sewers forever...WITH A HORSE? NOT OVER THE HORSE SHIT.

Look, the Phantom is supposed to be HIDEOUSLY scarred. Famously, in one of the film adaptations of Phantom, actor Lon Chaney Jr. purposely distorted his own face using adhesive face in order to play the role of the hideously disfigured character. Now, other versions have just given him severe, and I mean SEVERE burn scars. But behind the mask, Butler looks...fine. HE LOOKS FINE GODDAMMIT. He looks like he’s wearing the mask because it looks edgy and shit.

But OK, what’s happening in the movie? Oh, right, more serenading (”Music of the Night”), with another song that I like quite a bit. This and the previous song were songs Id heard before, and that I’d already had on my playlist. They’re great, what can I say? Now is Butler doing it justice? Ehhhhhhh, we’ll talk about that in the Review.

During this song he kinda seduces her, or attempts to, and also shows her a wedding dress. She sees herself in it and IMMEDIATELY faints, Jesus!  Curtain falls on Christine while she’s in a bed, and we go back to her room, where Meg is looking for her. She finds the mirror, and is about to go back there, but her mother finds and stops her.

Meanwhile, stagehand Joseph Buquet (Kevin McNally) tells the chorus girls of the legend of the Phantom, and describes a physical description that doesn’t match him...even a little. We cut back to Christine, who wakes up in what my girlfriend refers to as a “bomb-ass HQ.” Which is fair, let’s be honest. Anyway, she heads over and tries to unmask her new masked lover (?).

He’s not the biggest fan of this, and he emos all over the screen (”Stranger Than You Dreamt It”). And then, as he puts his mask on, we suddenly (and I mean suddenly) jump to 1919, where the old woman, Madame Giry, bids farewell to...wait, that’s Raoul? HOW DOES HE LOOK SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER, WHAT???

Back in the past, inexplicably, the theatre owners and manager sing about the theatre and the Phantom’s demands ("Notes..."), and are soon joined by Raoul, who brings them a separate note, saying not to look for Christina any further. THEN, Carlotta joins them, delivering a letter of her own from the Phantom, warning her not to return to the theatre.

In his letters, he details how his theatre is to be run, threatening a disaster if Christine is not cast in the lead role, and if Carlotta is not cast in a silent role. However, the theatre owners and Carlotta refuse to obey, and Carlotta is cast in the role, as the owners try to appease her (”Prima Donna”).

That night, during a performance of Il Muto, Carlotta’s singing the lead role. Additionally, Box Five is full, and the Phantom is PISSED. So, like a Phantom do, it’s time for some good old fashioned petty revenge! He switches her throat spray, causing her to lose her voice on stage, and causing the audience to laugh when the show ends abruptly. They quickly and publicly recast the role, giving it to Christine instead. Well, mission accomplished by the Phantom! Guess we’re good without retribution. And then he hangs the stagehand.

Well...fuck, man. Realizing that the Phantom is EXTREMELY dangerous, Christine goes to save Raoul, who she...is in a relationship with now? Wait...wait, hold up, the fuck did I miss? I mean, yeah, he probably is gonna kill Raoul, but there is, like, NO lead-up to their connection before this point.

Anyway, as Christine explains that there is a Phantom when Raoul says he doesn’t exist...wait, WHAT? MOTHER FUCKER BUQUET JUST NOT MURDERED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN????? YOU LITERALLY HEARD THE...you know what? Break. BREAK. This is...this one’s tough.

See you in Part 2!

[critical-wizard]

(this is just gonna be a more- informational/walking part so it may be a bit boring…)

Anne and Ace sat there in silence for a while more before Ace turned to ask her a question. When he saw the woman peacefully sleeping, he just smiled and shook his head. As carefully as possible he woke her up, just a bit, and helped her take off her coat. He watched as she tiredly slumped back into her original position.

He just chuckled softly and reached over, turning off the lamp and laying back down too. He covered the two of them up and soon, he too was sleeping. This happened often, she’d slip into his apartment in the dead of night and crawl into bed next to him. It was cheaper than her paying for therapy and he got to talk to his friend every three or four days. Besides, it gave her somewhere to sleep besides the red army base.

The two slept peacefully until almost dawn. She was up before he was, she put her coat and boots back on and opened the window. She heard him tiredly tell her goodbye, and she smiled and whispered a small ‘bye’ in return. She climbed down the fire escape, humming to herself as she stepped from the cold metal ladder to the concrete. She began to walk back to base, knowing full well she’d have to make up some bullshitty excuses as to why Matt wasn’t dead yet.

She’d never been too good with killing people, especially not innocent people, like Matt. Of course, she’d killed before, but most of the people she’d killed were…bad. Hurtful. At least, that’s what she told herself. As she walked, she couldn’t help but think. Her and Tord had grown up so close to eachother. They were almost inseparable…what happened? They had a normal upbringing, their parents weren’t cruel or abusive in any way. Maybe he was just an asshole, that was probably why.

As she broke off from the main pathway, into the large forest near town, she began to have more and more doubts about going back to base. She didn‘t want Tord to find out about Matt…but she couldn’t lie to him either. She had very easy to spot sighs of lying, she would tug on her sleeves, avoid eye contact, and she’d been told her speech pattern seemed to change as well. She smiled to herself as the woods seemed to get thicker, she followed the small arrow markings in the large trees she wove between as she walked. She loved how properly hidden the base was, if there was one thing she liked her brother for, it was how well he could hide things.

Finally she made it to the small circle clearing where the large metal hatch was. She took her ID card from her pocket and held it up to the slightly rusty scanner. There was a small dinging sound and the slightly loud click of the hatch unlocking. She leaned down and pulled it open, though it took almost all her strength to do so. She quickly climbed into the hatch and pulled the opening down with her. As she climbed down the ladder she could see the small metal opening. It was thinner than the opening itself, but still kept unwanted people out if they did mange to get ahold of somebodies card.

She was only a few steps to the second opening but decided to jump onto it anyways. A metal clang echoed throughout the small space and made her laugh a bit. She could hear loud cussing from below and the latch opened quickly. She jumped down from there, directly onto the ground below her. She looked up and saw Paul, standing there crossing his arms. She smiled and hugged onto him, making him scoff a bit.

”Ohhhh~ you can’t be that mad at me!”

”Yes, I can. I almost spilled my coffee. Don’t do that again.”

”Okay, Okay, fine! Anyways, what’s up?”

”Red Leader has been waiting for you since yesterday night. Where have you been?”

”At a friends house!”

”…alright then, follow me.”

He looked at her suspiciously and lead her through the metal hallways that branched off the main entrance. Finally the two stopped at a door, through the small window they could see Tord, sitting quite irritated at his desk.

(4/???)

[ckret2]

first of all - i really love your characterization of alastor! i saw ur post on 'how alastor would react to a buzzfeed unsolved-type video on his crimes' a while ago and id like to ask - do you think he was ever considered as a suspect? would there even be any real suspects? thank you for all ur writing and ideas :D

tl;dr, my personal headcanon is that he was never considered as a suspect, but have an extremely detailed explanation!

So, until we learn more from canon, here's my overall headcanon of Alastor as a serial killer. Read more (if tumblr cooperates) for a long headcanon post and for brief mentions of the gory things serial killers do.

- His preferred target was hunters and his weapon of choice was a standard hunting rifle. This means that, for a while, individual killings could be brushed off as "some irresponsible hunter accidentally shot another hunter, and either it was a wild shot and the shooter never saw where the bullet went, or he realized he'd accidentally shot somebody and fled like a coward." Unlike more obvious serial killer strategies—example, the Axeman of New Orleans' "people found axed to death inside their own homes" deal—it would take a while for Alastor's killings to be recognized as deliberate murder probably committed by one person.

- Most serial killers have a pretty small hunting ground, somewhere near where they live that's familiar/comfortable to them, and they don't stray far outside it. Compared to the Axeman again—the Axeman primarily attacked people in Italian-American immigrant communities in New Orleans, which made it easy to identify a pattern after only a few attacks. Since the Axeman was never identified, there's no way for us to know whether he lived in the neighborhoods where he killed—but like, he probably wasn't driving in from Houston.

Alastor, on the other hand, broke that pattern by killing at various hunting grounds around Louisiana—and maybe even neighboring states, I haven't decided yet—so it was harder to pinpoint where the killer lived and start searching that area for suspects.

- Many serial killers are identified by the rituals they tend to perform with their victims. Example: Jack the Ripper, who liked to disembowel his victims in a way that made police think he had experience as a surgeon. Desecrating/mutilating bodies in consistent ways is common, as are particular/identifiable body disposal methods. These rituals are typically things that have nothing to do with committing the murder itself, which means the killer just did them for fun. Alastor didn't have these. Shooting was where it started and ended for him. No undressing the body, no mutilating it, no moving it, no stealing trophies—he left them as they fell, sometimes leaving the scene before his victim was dead.

Oftentimes serial killers kill to try to enact some fantasy, and often their kills get more elaborate over time as they find that whatever high they're trying to get from their kill doesn't last. Alastor's fantasies revolved around hunting/killing his equals like game animals—hence his choice of victim, weapon, and crime scene. So I think Alastor's kills would have gotten more elaborate (and thus easier to identify) over time—starting with field dressing the corpse as if it was a deer, and eventually progressing to taking home cuts of "meat" from the victims to eat. (In a recent stream, it was revealed that Alastor wasn't a cannibal while he was alive, only after death; so I've been headcanoning him as having fantasized about cannibalism while he was a serial killer but never having worked up the nerve to perform it.) But Alastor died before he got that far, so his crime scenes were fairly nondescript until his death.

- Because he was killing on hunting grounds, the areas were sparsely populated, which means fewer potential witnesses would ever see him. And if they did, because of how far he was from home, they probably wouldn't recognize him and could only include a vague physical description of him in their list of all the strangers they saw in the area that day.

- Because he'd just kill someone and leave the body there in the woods, it would often be several days before the corpse was found—depending on how long, it might be difficult to identify how long it'd been dead. (Especially if the victim had been camping out there several days so family members couldn't just say "yeah he went hunting on Tuesday and didn't come back," a camping trip means a window of several days the murder could occur.) Oftentimes he'd be back home several days before the murder was discovered and reported, making it even harder to track down who'd been in the area at the time.

- Alastor was killing complete strangers—people he'd never met before, didn't know the names of, didn't even know what towns they were from—which would make it impossible for anyone to find the killer by cross-referencing the victims' acquaintances.

- From early on he started prioritizing coming up with alibis that would put him away from the scene of the crime; because people would rightly become suspicious if they realized that every time he talked about going on a hunting trip and gee wiz he didn't get any game how sad, there was a mention in the papers of another hunter being shot. (Although originally, he started making up cover stories not to hide his crimes but to comfort his mother. "Yes Ma, I know you're worried about all the hunters getting shot lately. No Ma, I'm not going on a hunting trip this weekend, I'm uhhh going to visit Pa's family.")

Initially his cover stories were as simple as just "don't tell people I'm going hunting this weekend." Sometimes he'd make up a story about what he did yesterday in town so that when another kill hit the papers nobody would even think to wonder whether Alastor had been there at the time.

As he got deeper into his murder hobby, sometimes he'd prerecord a radio show and wheedle someone at the studio into playing it for him at his usual hour—which, in the early days of broadcasting, was actually illegal. Radio stations were under an obligation to primarily broadcast live content—otherwise, the radio station wasn't providing a service you couldn't get from a phonograph —with only a few exceptions like playing a rerun of a special broadcast a few days later for people who missed it the first time. As a daily radio host, Alastor's programming would be the sort least likely to be permitted one of those exceptions. Which meant he was gonna get the station in a bit of trouble if anyone outside the couple of sympathetic producers who let him do this found out that he was occasionally broadcasting prerecorded segments; but it also meant that nobody would ever imagine that the guy on the air at 9 am was halfway across the state at 10 am when another hunter was shot.

All these cover stories woulda fallen apart pretty quickly if somebody ever looked into them—but since he never made it onto anybody's list of suspects, nobody ever came around the station to ask where was Alastor on the morning of Monday the 14th, was he really here broadcasting?

- I also headcanon that Alastor started making deals with demons long before he died—I mean, it's not like he arrived in Hell instantly knowing how to make predatory soul bargains without prior practice, right?—so he was probably using them to help cover his trail. Things like "help me not get caught for this murder, and in exchange the murder victim's soul is yours."

So! That's how he killed, and how he avoided being identified as a suspect.

It probably woulda happened eventually. He'd gradually started killing more often, partially because he increasingly craved that violent fix (particularly because he never quite perfected it to his satisfaction, it never quite fully scratched his itch), and partially because he had more demons to pay off with blood; and authorities and hunters in Louisiana were getting wise to the threat in their midst, trying to increase monitoring of people moving in and out of hunting sites, and watching each other more warily if they crossed paths in the woods, thus increasing his chances of witnesses or even of being caught in the act.

But he got shot.

While Alastor was stalking one of his soon-to-be victims, the almost-victim spotted Alastor, mistook him for a deer, and set his dog on him. (Or maybe he shot first and then the dog went charging in, haven't decided yet.) When he realized that this wasn't a deer but An Actual Human Person And Fellow Hunter who was now mangled and bleeding to death, he panicked, his brain went "DESTROY THE WITNESS," and he shot Alastor point blank, and then he panicked again. He was caught trying to hide the body.

There were a few farfetched suspects investigated as potentially being the serial killer based on circumstantial evidence, but to this day the one person repeatedly identified as the most probable suspect is, ironically, the man who killed the real serial killer—because after he was arrested, the killings stopped. He was found not guilty for bullshit reasons (it was a fraught case) but even when the killings didn't resume, the believers think it's because he got spooked after nearly being convicted and decided to stop murdering.

Which also means, in a lot of cold case documentaries/books about the serial killer, Alastor himself is identified as the serial killer's probable last victim—which he finds hysterical.

[troop-scoop]

Mistakes & Regrets XX

Summary: When a trip to your Dad’s hometown of Hawkins goes wrong, you end up in the year 1983, and have to learn how to cope with being stuck in the past.

Pairing: Steve Harrington / Future!Reader (like, a really slow burn)

Warnings: Swearing probably,

• • •

The sounds of crickets and the distant sound of an owl somewhere in the woods was pretty much the only things you could hear from your position by the control box. Other than the occasional very soft sound of someone’s clothing moving as they moved or shifted their weight. 

Lucas was next to you, leaning against the box. Everyone had remained silent after Jonathan and Nancy got into the car and drove up to the lab. 

“Is Will your dad?” He asked in a hushed voice.

Looking down at Lucas, his arms were crossed, and he was looking up at you with a mixed look of frustration and sadness. 

“What makes you think that?” Your voice was equally as quiet.

“You fell through a hole, ended up in the Upside Down and then crawled out in a different time period, that is, if you’re telling the truth. And you just said that you and Jonathan are family. “

Looking down at the pavement you sighed a bit, lifting up your backpack that was mostly empty. But, Steve forgot to empty out the smallest pocket in the bag, where you usually kept your school ID, and some extra cash in a wallet. It was the same one you’d had from home. 

Taking the pale faux yellow wallet out, you zipped it open, hesitating for a second, looking at the middle compartment you always refused to open. 

But, by all rights except blood, Lucas was your uncle. He’d sneak you cash at theme parks whenever all of you got together for the summer. You still remembered your fathers telling him he didn’t need to, and yet, he persisted. 

Opening the center compartment of the wallet you pulled out a small photo taken from an instax camera, of you and your dad. Often you forgot you had it. 

You didn’t look at it, but you just handed it to him. You’d been in sixth grade at some place for a field trip that he volunteered to chaperone. 

Lucas took it from you and looked at the photo. Your hair had been cut short, and you were clearly younger in the photo. And your dad had a smile on his face, an arm around your shoulders in a protective manner, his hair loosely styled, so a strand was in his face. 

And ever since this young version of your uncle Lucas met you, he thought you actually looked truly happy. Unbothered, like a normal kid with normal dreams and oblivious to the future or past she’d have to endure.

“This is Will?” It was obvious, but he still asked anyway, feeling the need to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

“Yeah. That’s my dad.” 

“Who’s your mom?”

Shaking your head a bit you closed your wallet, not taking the photo back. “Her name’s Anne.” 

“Don’t you want this?” He asked, holding the photo out to you. Looking at it for a split second you could almost hear the clanging of a baking sheet while your dad placed it on the stove to make those halloween cookies every year. And you could see the burnt edges creeping towards the pumpkin in the center. It was no secret that Will was a good cook, but terrible at baking and trying to put premade things in the oven. 

“Not really.” 

“But he’s your dad-”

“And I don’t know him anymore.” It was dramatic, but it was true. It had been over a year since you last saw him as you wanted to remember him. If you’d known that being in that restaurant would be the last time you’d see him, you wouldn’t have yelled at Pa, you would’ve taken it all in, you would have said your goodbyes, and tried to remember how your fathers and little brother looked in the moment. 

You went over to Steve who was leaning against the yellow post at the other side of the box, hitting the butt of the flashlight on his palm. “Hey,” You breathed out.

Looking up at you, he smiled a bit. “Hi,” 

“Guys?”

Max was staring at the drive that lead up to the lab, and you could hear the sound of tires against the pavement. Looking over you saw Jonathan’s car and Hopper’s truck speeding towards them. 

Reaching over you grabbed Max as Steve grabbed Lucas and Dustin, pulling them out of the way. Jonathan sped past you, but Hopper stopped, looking at you five through the open passenger window. 

“Let’s go!”

Steve opened the door, rushing you and the middle schoolers into the back, with the three of them behind you, and you, leaning between the two front seats, as Steve got into the passenger side.

“What the fuck’s going on?”

“The gate, it’s wide open, and letting things through.” 

“Jesus.”

• • •

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub you had your head in your hands, only seeing your knees, the tile, and a few strands of hair that fell around your face in a type of curtain. 

You were convinced that from the day you were born, you’d admired and looked up to your dad. He was one of many male figures in your life. He gave you good morals, and taught you to be strong, how to be you, and not to let anyone control you. 

His biggest fear when you were growing up was that a man would try and control you, or that anyone who had a power dynamic with you, would try and manipulate you. But he was always paranoid. 

You had another thing to admire him for- bringing two kids into a world that he knew was fucked. Being confident enough in himself and Pa that they could protect you and Daniel. That you wouldn’t get hurt. 

Closing your eyes you concentrated, lowering yourself onto the floor, hugging yourself and grasping onto Steve’s jacket. You wanted to know how he’d done it. Gotten through such a fucked up time in his life at such a young age. How any of them did. Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Max. You were older, and all you wanted to do was close your eyes and disappear. 

Opening your eyes, everything around you was black, with about an inch of water around your feet. But ahead of you, you could see a familiar looking table, with familiar looking cookies, and a few pieces of cloth on the table. 

You saw your uncle Dustin sitting at the table, while your uncle Lucas sat across from him. 

“Should we tell them?” Lucas asked, looking down at something beside him. Slowly walking over, you could see a stroller next to him, an older baby in the seat, dressed in yellow and pink, with a blue sippy cup gripped tightly in their hands. They were maybe a year old. 

“You’re insane.” Dustin responded.  

Finally you placed it. It was one of the tables at the coffee shop you’d always gone to on Fridays with your dad. And the cloth on the table was a set of dirty baby clothes that had been neatly folded. 

“What?”

“We can’t. You know that. Will’s already terrified enough as it is, you don’t want him turning their condo into a baby friendly prison, do you?” 

Lucas’ face changed a bit as he looked down at the baby again. You could hear a muffled voice call out an order, and watched as Dustin got up, leaving Lucas sitting with an infant who was half asleep. 

He leaned over to the baby, unbuckling them from the seat and pulling them into his arms. “Hey, princess.” He greeted her with a sad smile. He stayed quiet, letting the baby lean against his shoulder, the sippy cup still in a death grip, almost empty, and you assumed that the infant was just a little too happy about having been given what looked like apple juice

But when you looked at her arm, you saw the birthmark you once had, the one that, after you burnt your arm, disappeared. 

It was you. 

You were a chubby baby.

Who wouldn’t let go of her juice even though Lucas tried to put it on the table. 

“Okay, I won’t take it.” He relented, pushing her messy hair back, watching as she began to drink from the bottle. “You’re gonna be strong one day, you know that?” He was quiet about it. “One of the strongest women I ever met. And brave.”

The baby looked up at him, done drinking.

“You remain kind, somehow. You’re going to be so loving and compassionate that sometimes, it’s annoying. You’re gonna save a lot of people, so don’t hold onto the guilt, don’t let it hurt you, or hold you back. You’re gonna go-”

“Y/n?” Opening your eyes, Steve was kneeling down in front of you. “Do you know what the hell a Mind Flayer is?” 

Furrowing your eyebrows, you nodded. You played DnD so often before that you knew plenty of the creatures, and the bosses you could fight, not to mention your dad talked about them all the time when helping you plan DnD games with the four friends you would hang out with. “Yeah, it takes over people’s brains. Wants to conquer shit like It's a British empire, why does that matter?” 

Looking over to the doorway you saw almost everyone peaking into the bathroom, staring at the two of you. 

“Steve? What’s going on?” 

Looking back at Steve, you saw that he was looking at them too, a hand holding your arm before he focused on you. “Did you have episodes? Like Will’s?” 

You nodded, slowly. Sitting up a bit more, your hand grabbing the one on your arm. How did he know about those? Did somebody tell him?

“When did they stop?” 

“A day or two, after Halloween.”

“Did you have one on Halloween?” Mike asked, suddenly pushing past Dustin and into the room, next to Steve. 

The memory of sitting in your shower, sobbing before it ended and you found Steve in your living room.

“Yeah. . . Why?”

“This Mind Flayer. . . you said it felt like it wanted to kill you?” Hopper asked.

“Wait, are we calling that weird cloud thingy Will and I saw a Mind Flayer?” You inquired. 

Everyone looked at each other, exchanging looks. But then you realized what Hopper said about Will. And the day he started acting weird. The same day you had your last episode. 

“It’s in Will, isn’t it? So. . . if it spies on us, through Will. . . is he gonna try and kill me?” 

“That’s the leading theory.” 

Within a few minutes, you were tucked away in a corner of the kitchen, looking out the window as the shed was basically torn apart, with everything pulled out, so they could take Will in there. 

You didn’t know why the Mind Flayer wanted to hurt you, if it even did. But you were scared, and as usual, you wanted your dad. 

Watching as Steve and Nancy helped Hopper take everything out, you climbed onto the kitchen counter, basically sitting in the empty sink and taking in the backyard that would be a pain to clean up. 

What was El up to? Last you saw her, you told her to ‘call’ you if Hopper agreed to trick or treating. And by call, you meant manipulating your radio in the Volkswagen. But that never happened and so you didn’t get to take her trick or treating like she wanted to. 

“Steve compared the Mind Flayer to Germans.” Jonathan spoke up, walking over to you , handing you a glass of water. 

“You mean. . . Arian Nazies?” You furrowed your brows, looking up at your uncle who shook his head. 

“No, I mean Germans. He said Germans. Dustin called him on it.” Smiling a bit you nodded, looking down at the ice water. Steve could have stupid moments. Especially when he hadn’t gotten sleep since the night before, when you’d gone to Dustin’s cellar. 

A comfortable silence took over, except for the rustling outside where they were setting the shed up to hold Will in. But you knew something was on Jonathan’s mind. You were family after all. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, looking over to him. 

He shrugged, shaking his head a bit. He fought with himself for a split second before finally talking. “You’ve been here for over a year, and it’s kinda obvious to everyone.” 

“What’s obvious?” You asked, an amused smile on your face while you tilted your head. 

He gave a look, reaching out to your arm and tugging a bit at the sleeve of the jacket. “It’s like 50 degrees outside, and he still let you keep the jacket, even though the radiator’s on.”

You shrugged, “Steve’s forgetful, and when he’s tired he doesn’t seem to remember what kind of weather it is outside.” excusing it you looked at the window, not quite knowing what Jonathan was trying to get at. 

“You know that about him. According to Nancy he knows you usually get from the gas station, and that your favorite movie is Red Dawn after he took you to see it-”

“Nancy wouldn’t have gone, it’s a war movie-”

“Y/n,” he started in a firm, yet affectionate tone as he took the glass from you, setting it on the counter. “You’ve been friends since last year, and he cares about you. A lot.” You were going to say that it was because you were friends, but you knew he would have stopped you. 

“You’re both oblivious.” he scoffed in an amused tone, handing you the water again, before walking out into the backyard. 

Hopping out of the sink, you followed after him, leaving the glass. 

Zipping up the jacket you caught up with Jonathan, grabbing onto his arm and following him to the clothes line where Joyce was taking clothes down so they could use the rope. 

“Jonathan, what are you talking about?” 

You were confused, and frankly? A bit worried. Everything that was going on, and Jonathan was being cryptic and ominous about your friendship with Steve. Talking about the way you guys treated each other and knew things and trusted each other in ways that plenty of other people didn’t. 

Like how you knew that when he cried, it sounded like his entire heart was shattering, and that he wouldn’t be able to put it back together. And how you trusted him to get you home when you were drunk off your ass on New Years eve. How he trusted you enough to share things he usually didn’t, so much to the point where he’d cry in front of you and go to you for comfort, just like you would with him, if everything ever made you cry didn’t revolve around your biggest mistake. 

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Stopping dead in your tracks, you were sure you looked like a deer caught in headlights, clinging onto the hem of the jacket, and staring at the wet grass. 

Was it obvious to everyone else? That you’d trust Steve with your life more than your grandma? More than Hopper? Was it obvious because you didn’t hesitate to punch him when he was being homophobic with Jonathan after committing a hate crime? A hate crime that you tried to make him go fix, that he eventually did after running from the cops. 

Was it obvious because you forgave him so quickly right afterwards? 

You didn’t know where it started or where it ended. 

Was Jonathan implying that you had feelings for your best friend who, time wise, was almost forty years older than you, but biologically only two? 

Or were you making that up in your head? Drawing assumptions of what other people thought without reason? 

But if that was what Jonathan thought, then did you have feelings for Steve? 

No, no of course not, he was just a friend. Right?

• • • 

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers​ @nxncywheeler​ @yllwtaxi​ @songofcosplay​ @potatopooper05​ @cheesecakeisapie @robinsdolan​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​  @bisexualpears​ @ilovebucketbarnes​ @random-thoughts-003​ @mochminnie  @abbyg217​​ @stevexscoops​​ @cashmereandtears​​ @iris-suoh​​  @supred12​

[sapphirewolf1122]

True Nature (part 1)

Part 1 | Part 2

Warning: Reader has thoughts of and attempts suicide. 

Summary: Your quirk causes you to hurt the people you love and you have lived in loneliness for years because of it. You finally decide to end it one day but an explosive hero gets in your way.

Word count: 4,607

You weren’t really sure where you were going. You had just suddenly really needed to get out of the house, away from the loneliness that had been your life for years now. You weren’t even paying attention to what direction you walked in; you just let your feet move on their own, taking random turns. It wasn’t long until you had gotten completely lost.

Finally looking up after walking for a while, you found yourself standing in front of an alley. Frowning, you looked around to try and determine exactly where you were. The street was pretty much deserted but you did manage to spot a sign that told you about where you were. You raised your eyebrows in surprise; had you really walked this far?

This was a district that had been experiencing a rise in crime. It had started off as small, petty crimes but those soon escalated. There have even been some deaths. The hero agencies here had even started asking for help outside of the district so as to stop the villains before it got even worse. Something about the way the victims had died was really concerning them.

Looking down the alleyway, you remembered hearing that some of the deaths had occurred in the alleys. It was starting to get dark…without really thinking, you took a step into the alley.

As you slowly walked through, a small part of your mind screamed at you to turn around. Only someone with a death wish would do something this stupid.

Exactly, you told that voice. 

You had been alone for so long now. It was the only way to ensure the safety of everyone else. Growing up, your parents had kept you pretty isolated. You had spent the majority of your childhood in your house in the country, where there were few kids your age. They even homeschooled you. But finally, you had had enough and left them and that house that had been more like a prison than home, behind. 

At first, you thought you could be like everyone else, so long as you were careful. But then you’d fallen in love. They could handle the small drawbacks. A small papercut, a cold. They told you that they’d bear it for you. But one day they came home after you had burned yourself cooking, their hand wrapped in a bandage. 

Furious, they screamed at you for being so careless. They told you were selfish for thinking it was okay to put this burden onto somebody else. What right did you have to love somebody when all you did was hurt them?

They had left and you, knowing they were right, vowed you would never do that to someone again. You became cold and aloof, keeping everyone at bay, not even allowing a friend. 

And you were done. But you didn’t have the courage to do anything about it yourself. What if there was still a shred of love somewhere for somebody? What would that do to them?

But maybe...maybe there was a way to not have to do it yourself. If you were caught somewhere you shouldn’t be and it was made to look like an accident…

You emerged at the other end of the alley. Blinking at the sudden brightness of the street lights, you looked around. This street was a lot busier than the one you had left behind. Looking back, you saw the dim light of the other side. Just your luck.

With a sigh, you started crossing the street. It wasn’t until you heard the screech of tires that you looked up to see a massive truck careening towards you. It was clear that if you didn’t move, it wouldn’t be able to stop in time. Perfect.

Closing your eyes, you waited for your fate.

~

Bakugo watched the busy street before him, looking out for anything suspicious. The agency he worked for had been one of the ones that were called to assist with the villain situation here. And of course, they had sent the best. 

But it had been days of undercover work now and he was getting fucking bored. The police in this shitty district had said too many heroes walking around in their costumes might only scare the villains into staying hidden. And while that was technically a good thing, they couldn’t keep this level of security forever and eventually, they would come back in earnest. So the goal was to catch them, unsuspecting. 

At the time, it had sounded like a good plan. But now he just wanted to find the fucking bastards and blast them. 

Looking over at the cop that he had been assigned to patrol with, he said, “Don’t you guys have any better ideas than this? It’s fucking been days and there have been no signs of the assholes.”

Not bothering to look up from the paper he was reading, the cop said, “We have no idea where the perpetrators’ hideout is. We can’t just go knocking down every door, hoping that we happen upon the right place. Our investigative team is working to figure that out but until then, this is what we can do. Be glad it’s been quiet, kid. That means nobody else has gotten hurt.” 

He did glance up as he finished that last part and Bakugo looked away angrily.

“Tch.” He hated when he was spoken to like he was some naive newbie. Was it so bad he wanted to catch the fuckers?

At that moment, he heard the squeal of tires and snapped his head around to a truck trying to stop. Frowning, he looked ahead of it until he saw why. There someone stood, not moving as they faced the truck heading towards them.

“What the hell are you doing?” he muttered, shooting up from the chair he had been sitting in. His partner looked up in confusion but before he could say anything, Bakugo was already running. Would he make it in time? He could use an explosion to get him there faster but that would risk hurting somebody else in such close quarters. God dammit, he wished he had Iida’s engines right now. 

Fuck, did he seriously just wish for Four-Eye’s quirk? That really made him angry and caused him to growl with a new determination.

“Get out of my fucking way, extras,” he yelled at the crowd. Bewildered faces turned towards him but they did as he said. This gave him the room he needed. 

Propelling himself forward and up with his explosions, he passed over the idiot’s head, grabbing their collar and pulling them out of the way of the truck. 

However, in his attempt to get to them faster, his explosions ended up being a little stronger than he meant them to be. Because of this, the landing was rougher and while he was able to do it fine, the person he had just saved landed hard on the pavement. He thought he even heard the crack of their head hitting the ground. 

Spinning around, he looked down at your face. You seemed dazed, your eyes searching but not seeing. Hovering over you, he placed his hands gently on either side of your face and said, “Hey, are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

While you seemed to register his voice, you didn’t respond. He searched your head with his hands and sure enough felt the warmth of blood. Looking up, he saw his partner standing there, his eyes wide. 

“What’re you staring for? Call a fucking ambulance!”

That seemed to snap him out of it and he hurriedly took out his phone.

Bakugo looked back down at you. Seeing that you had lost consciousness completely now, he stayed with you and waited for the ambulance to arrive. 

                                                            ~

You woke to the sound of something beeping, your head throbbing a bit. As you regained full consciousness, you noticed it sounded very similar to a medical monitor. With a frown, you opened your eyes; it took them a moment to adjust to the sudden bright light so everything was blurry for a bit. 

Looking to the side, you thought you saw a person next to you. As your eyes finally focused, you were able to see their face. It looked very familiar; was he famous? But why would somebody famous be by your bedside?

Seeing that your eyes were open, he smirked. “About time you woke up.”

It was his voice that made you realize who he was. The hero agency he worked for was in your district and you often saw him on the news. Though usually he was yelling at the top of his lungs or looked like he wanted to kill somebody. 

“Ground Zero?”

His eyebrows raised at the sound of his hero name, his smirk widening a bit.

“Outside of work, I go by Bakugo Katsuki.”

Huh...he seems nicer than he appeared on TV. Not as rough. The sound of his voice again took you out of your reverie.

“Are you okay? How’s your head?” He was peering at you with a small frown on his face now; you were starting to notice that he was quite expressive. 

At the mention of your head, your hand went up to touch it, finding the tender spot and the stitches. “It’s fine, I think. What exactly happened?”

“You don’t remember? You nearly got fucking creamed by a truck. I was nearby but barely managed to pull you out of the way. Why didn’t you move, idiot?”

You felt yourself get a little indignant at the last part. “Excuse me, not all of us have incredibly fast reflexes and flashy quirks like you. We can’t all be heroes, you know.”

Your tone seemed to take him by surprise; even you noticed how bitter you had sounded. Trying to move past it, you continued, “Also, I have a name. It’s—”

“____ ____.”

You blinked. “How do you know that?”

“We had to check your ID for information.”

“Oh...right.”

There was a long silence. Your hand kept creeping up to the tender spot on your head; you felt like there was something you were forgetting. As your fingers dug, a sharp pain went through your head and it occurred to you.

“Shit, is there a phone around?! I have to call, make sure no one else got hurt. Stupid, so stupid, fucking selfish…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Bakugo held up his hands, making calming motions. “Nobody else got hurt. I may have had to push a few people but nothing more than scrapes, I’m sure. Who would you need to call? Was someone with you?”

“No, I—I was alone.” You were always alone.

“Okay….what did you mean ‘selfish’?” Bakugo was studying you now, as though he was trying to put something together. 

You shook your head, hoping to veer him away from the subject. “It’s nothing. Probably just still confused from hitting my head.”

He looked unconvinced. “Right…” He seemed to contemplate something for a second before asking, “___, were you—”

At that moment, a nurse drew back the curtain around your bed.

“Ah, Miss ____, you’re awake. Good, good. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Can I go home?” You were starting to get uncomfortable with the way Ground Zero was looking at you, as though he were searching for something. 

The nurse chuckled. “Soon. We just have to do a couple of tests to make sure you don’t need to be observed overnight.”

“Oh, please no.”

“Don’t worry. You seem to being doing well; I’m sure we’ll get you discharged in no time. Of course, this wouldn’t be necessary if a certain young, exuberant hero hadn’t gotten carried away.” She gave a pointed look to said hero, who sputtered.

“I-I needed to get to her quickly! Would you rather I let her get fucking ran over?!” he replied indignantly. There was more of the Ground Zero you were used to seeing on TV.

The nurse just made tsking sounds. “It’s done now. But I think it’s time you left, Ground Zero. Do heroes usually show such interest in those they save?”

“Are you fucking serious?! But—” Bakugo was stopped by the nurse’s stern look. He glanced at you, perhaps trying to find some help but you looked away. Finally, with a glare he got up and left, muttering as he went, “Fine, but I’m going to the fucking waiting room.”

Once he was gone, the nurse got to work. “I swear, young heroes these days are so hot-headed. They get a few praises and they think they’re on top of it all.”

You didn’t respond, which caused the nurse to look up at you. “Are you sure you’re okay, dear? Is there anyone we can call for you?”

You shook your head. “No. No one.”

                                                            ~

True to her word, the nurse had you checked over and ready to be discharged shortly after. You were prescribed some painkillers to help with the tenderness but other than that, you were cleared. Once you had signed the papers, you made your way out of the emergency room.

You were considering whether to call a taxi or walk home, when Ground Zero ran out from behind you, calling your name.

With a sigh, you turned towards him, only semi-trying to hide the discomfort on your face. Hoping to maybe get him to leave, you said, “What are you still doing here, Ground Zero? Hoping for me to thank you and sing your praises?” You put as much annoyance in your voice as you can muster. 

That stopped him in his tracks. “No, I was going to walk you home, to make sure you get there safe. And I told you to call me Bakugo.”

You rolled your eyes, hoping you weren’t overdoing it. “I don’t need you to walk me home.”

“Well I think you do, dammit. It was my fucking fault you got a concussion, I want to make sure you don’t fall or pass out or…” He trailed off, looking to the side. You narrowed your eyes; what was he going to say? 

The two of you stood there, standing in silence. You noticed he had a small pout on his face. Getting the sense that if you didn’t give in, it would just make things more difficult, you sighed and said, “Fine. But only to my house and that’s it.” Guess you were walking...

At that, he looked at you, as though he hadn’t really expected you to say yes. With a grin, he said, “Great.”

“Whatever. Just don’t expect me to do a lot of talking.”

“Believe me, that’s fine.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

                                                             ~

After what felt like one of the longest walks of your life, the two of you finally made it to the front of your building. 

“Well, this is me…what’s wrong?”

You had turned to Bakugo to find him frowning at the building before him. “This isn’t an apartment building...this is fucking a bookstore. You trying to pull my leg?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, it’s my bookstore; though technically it’s a book cafe. Anyway, I live above it.” You pointed to the second story, where your apartment resided.

“How did you come to own a bookstore?”

“Book cafe. And I bought it off an old couple who were looking to retire for pretty cheap.”

“But why a bookstore?” His tone wasn’t judgmental, just curious, but you were still getting annoyed. 

“Book cafe...and why do you ask so many questions? Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a rather long night and I would like to go to bed.” With, that, you started heading up the steps, sure you had finally managed to get him to leave. 

However, you hadn’t made it halfway to the door when you heard, “____...wait.”

Ugh, can’t this guy take a hint? Without turning to the hero, you said, “What?”

“Fucking promise me you that aren’t going to try anything fucking crazy.”

That got you to turn around. “What the hell do you…” You trailed off when you looked into the blonde’s eyes. They had a fierce light to them, as well as a slightly knowing look. Looking at him full on like this, you saw just how young he was. Though you were pretty sure you were about the same age, he seemed younger, at least in that moment.

You thought you felt the shadow of a smile pulling at your lips; you couldn’t remember the last time you had smiled. “I think I’ve had enough crazy for tonight. Trust me, I’m just going to take a shower and go to sleep.”

He looked into your face for a while longer before seeming satisfied that you were telling the truth. “Right, I'll be holding you to that...guess I’ll get out of your fucking hair then. Gotta get up early for patrol duty anyway…” With that, he finally started walking away. But this time it was you who called out.

“Thank you, Ground Zero.”

He didn’t turn around as he responded but you could hear the smirk in his voice. “I fucking told you already, when are you going to get it through that stubborn head...my name is Bakugo.”

“Bakugo…” You found yourself thinking of the blonde hero for a long time that night.

                                                                ~

In the days after he had rescued you, Bakugo found himself thinking of you quite regularly. So much so that he started thinking of about checking up on you at your bookstore. He told himself that it was only to make sure you had kept your promise.

However, the case continued to keep him busy; the higher-ups were saying that the investigation team were close to finding out where the bastards’ hideout was. His skin crawled and he grinned at the thought of finally being able to fucking destroy them. 

Because of this, he didn’t get a chance to pop in on you until about a week later, after one of his night shifts. He had looked the place up and had been surprised to find that it was actually open pretty late. It was almost 10 p.m. when he walked in. 

Inside, it was warm and he instantly caught the smell of hot chocolate, tea, and coffee, along with something that was baking. All of the walls were lined with books, from floor to ceiling. The only section that didn’t have books was the bit with the cafe part. There, he saw you, your back turned to him. It looked like you were in the middle of making something for one of the few customers here. 

With a smirk, he wandered over to the counter and sat himself down. Hearing the scrape of the chair, you called, “I’ll be right with you.” He noticed that your voice sounded strangely emotionless; there wasn’t a hint of excitement or warmth or even annoyance.

Finishing with the order, you turned back and saw him for the first time since he’d walked in. Upon seeing him, you stopped abruptly, almost dropping the cup of tea in your hands. He had to resist the urge to laugh out loud at the look on your face as you struggled to compose yourself. 

Avoiding eye contact with him, you brought the cup to your the customer, who paid and went back to one of the reading nooks that were dispersed throughout the shop. You then stood at the register for several moments, as though you were trying to convince yourself that he wasn’t there. Bakugo was almost crying from holding back his laughter. 

Finally, you turned around, and glared at him. Walking over, you hissed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Adopting an incredulous look, he replied, “Heroes need fucking coffee too, y’know. I just got off a goddamn double shift and I’m supposed to go back soon.”

You blinked a little at that. It was a moment before you responded. “Okay, fine. But why here? There are several coffee shops between here and the district you’re working in.”

He shrugged. “You were on my way home.” The shop was actually in the opposite direction and you didn’t look like you believed him. 

After another few moments, you asked, “Fine, what do you want?” He gave you his order and you walked away, muttering something about how this was borderline harassment and why did he have to come here. 

“Well I also wanted to make sure you’d kept your promise.”

That stopped you. Without turning around, you said, “What, are you watching me now?”

“You could say that.”

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

“Well I don’t need my fucking rescue to be in vain. I saved you and I’m gonna make sure you fucking stay saved.”

You did turn now, anger in your eyes. “My life is none of your business.”

“Maybe not. But I know when to follow my instincts. And someone once told me that a meddling where I don’t technically have to is what makes a hero.” Fuck, he did he just repeat something Deku had told him? What the fuck? 

You shook your head as you went back to making his order. “I just want to be left alone. That’s what’s best for everybody.”

“Why?”

Turning back to hand him his cup, you said, “If you’re gonna insist on hanging around, fine. But don’t expect me to answer questions about myself. My business is my business.”

The blonde held up his hands in mock surrender. “Fine; deal.”

                                                           ~

Weeks passed and Bakugo became a regular customer. Due to his irregular work schedule, he came at all times during the day and night. Despite yourself, you found that you had started looking forward to his visits. 

The banter between the two of you started to become a regular part of your routine. You found that you were starting to feel lighter. However, you continued to rebel against this, because you knew what it could lead to. 

You couldn’t help yourself with following his hero work though, which mostly consisted of the investigation going on in that district. One night, while you were cleaning the station behind the counter, you saw him on the news, in full hero costume. After watching a bit longer, you realized that they had finally found the villains’ hideout and he was part of the infiltration team. You could see the almost murderous excitement in the explosion hero’s eyes. 

Guess he won’t be coming in tonight, you thought to yourself. Though you tried to deny it, you could feel the inkling of disappointment in your chest. You told yourself it was the sneeze you were currently trying suppress. However, when it finally did come out, the feeling was still there.

Trying to distract yourself, you busied yourself with tidying the store, rearranging books, picking up trash, and dusting. You realized you had been rearranging the same set off books for almost 20 minutes when you suddenly heard an explosion from the TV and a small gasp from the customers in the cafe.

Running to the dining area, you stared at the TV, which showed a building in flames with several heroes and police officers surrounding it. The reporter behind the camera was describing the scene. “....an unexpected turn of events. It seems that the villains had a weapon up their sleeve that the heroes had not prepared for. Reports are coming in saying that several heroes, including Ground Zero, are still fighting inside.”

At that moment, another explosion ripped through the building. It was so large that it sent a large gust of wind all around the perimeter, causing the camera to be knocked over and the scene to go black. The anchor at the news station came back on screen, exclaiming about the escalated crime scene and that they would get eyes back on the scene as soon as possible. 

“That looked intense,” you heard one of your customers say. “You reckon anybody inside survived that explosion?” The rest just murmured.

The thought stayed with you though and you worried for the rest of the night. There were some reports about the crime scene, how the criminals had been suppressed and caught but the fight had sent some of the heroes to the hospital. Names were withheld. 

For the next couple of days, Bakugo didn’t show. With each day that passed, the seed of worry continued to grow. It also seemed that you had caught a cold so you were doubly miserable. 

You had gone up to your apartment to take some of your cold medicine and drink some herbal tea. When you came back down, you were walking into the cafe while fixing your the medical mask on your face, only to stop in your tracks. There he was, sitting at the counter like he always did. You noticed that there were bandages around his arms still and he had a mask of his own on. 

A sudden anger overtook you and you flew at the blonde. He didn’t see you coming until you were almost upon him and at that point, it was too late. You were smacking him, muttering about how could he let you worry like that. He could have at least called.

“___, what the fuck?! Stop it...my fucking arms…oooowwww…fucking stop, God dammit!” He grabbed your wrists, his grip still strong despite his injuries. 

“What the hell did you just attack me for?!” Your faces were mere inches apart. You realized that you were on the verge of tears. You found yourself scanning every inch of his face, making sure no other part of him was hurt. However, the mask was in the way, so all you could see was some slight redness and puffiness around his eyes…

Wait. Redness and puffiness? And he was wearing a mask? On closer inspection, you saw that it was in the same areas as you. No, no, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening! Not again. 

Breaking his grip, you backed away from him. He watched you with an incredulous look that you normally would have found funny. Shakily, you asked, “How long have you been sick?”

Now he looked really confused. “Huh? I don’t fucking know...a few days? Since after the raid? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

This time, the tears really did come. “I think you need to leave.” You could barely speak above a whisper.

“What?!”

This time, you screamed. “LEAVE! GET OUT! AND DON’T COME BACK! YOU HEAR ME? GO!”

Completely bewildered at this point, he shouted back, “WHAT? NO, TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!”

“I SAID GET OUT! GO! BEFORE I MAKE YOU!”

You didn’t even care that you were making scene. However, Bakugo was still aware enough to take note of the situation and came to a decision. Getting up, he said in a calmer tone, “Okay, fine. But I am coming back and I expect an explanation.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away.” The tears were rolling freely at this point.

Shaking his head, he turned around and walked out the door. It was several moments before you moved again. Looking around at the dumbstruck bystanders, you apologized and told your workers that you would be taking the rest of the day off. 

You barely managed to make it back upstairs before the sobs overtook you. All you could do was climb into your bed and wrap yourself in a blanket, curling into the fetal position as you cried. You don’t know how long you lay like that; all you wanted was to go numb. It felt like hours before you became so exhausted that you finally fell asleep.

[writinginthedarkwood]

"If I Killed Someone For You" by Alec Benjamin reminds me of Yanderes! Kaminari, Kirishima, or Deku. Would you do a writing piece of them based on this song?

I love this, hopefully it’s what you were looking for. :) I chose Denki because I don’t see a lot of yandere stuff for him.

Warnings: blood, typical yandere shenanigans. 

Denki pried his fingers off of the edge of the sink and reached for the faucet with shaky hands. The water trickled out cold, he filled his palms and let the water run over them, the blood hadn’t started to dry yet. It ran down the drain dark and dirty against the white porcelain. “It never gets any easier...” He turned his head and looked at the mess on the floor. That pathetic mess hadn’t moved in a few minutes, but he never liked to have his back turned on a body too long. He laughed and kicked his stomach. The body slumped forward with more blood oozing out of his mouth, but it didn’t make a sound. “Yup, still dead.” 

Yeah it never got any easier, Denki thought. 

The cleanup, that is.

 The young man filled up the bucket of water with soap and scrubbed at the walls. The blood came off easy, the difficult part is getting the blood out of the rags. He’ll probably burn them, that seemed to work pretty good last time. “Your honor, I had a moment of weakness, but it will never happen again. My service as a hero should prove that I love this city...” Denki muttered to himself as he ripped the rubber gloves off and tossed them into the trash bag with all of the bloody cloths. The body was wrapped in a plastic tarp, out of the way for now, but he had to hurry and get it on the street before too much of the leaked out. 

 Kaminari caught a moment of himself in the reflection of the metal bucket, he bent down and studied his face. He hooked his lip and pulled on it to look at his teeth. He touched his hair, fixing it back in place and smiled at his reflection. “You need some sleep Kaminari, you barely look like yourself.” He smirked again and winked. 

His phone beeped in his pocket.

Her

Would she be devastated when the police call to tell her the news, or will she be relieved he’s finally gone? Denki wondered and checked the text. “Hey can I call you after work? I’m having a rough day... :(” Denki thought he could cry, reaching out to him after a long day? She really must love him, maybe she knew somehow that he’s been her protector, the one she can always rely on. 

Would you love me even more if you knew it was me who got rid of that scum bag?

“Another body on this side of town, a serial killer?” Denki’s old friend touched her cheek and chin as she asked the chief of police. Denki shook his head in disbelief. “Absolutely disgusting, but I don’t think so Headphone Jack. It doesn’t look like it was well thought out, maybe a robbery?” 

Jiro nodded her head in agreement. “He’s dressed like he was carrying a lot of cash, I’m not sure what he would be doing all the way over here. I mean, he just looks out of place.” The police had the entire street blocked off with flashing lights. The ambulance is moving the body in a bag, the sirens on and blaring. The detectives approached the hero pair. “Thank you for calling us you two, if you hadn’t called I doubt anyone would have reported this for awhile. Things have a tendency to just disappear out this way.” The detective fixed his hat on his head to tip at the heroes. “I think you’re right Chargebolt, a mugging gone wrong. This case will probably turn up cold, his wallet is empty but all his belongings are with him. Nothing to really trace to a pawn shop around here, so unless we find prints on the murder weapon, we don’t have a lot to go off of.”

Good luck finding a print on that crow bar, you won’t.

“Just a mess sir, I’m so sorry. Do we have an ID on him?” Denki asked the detective with another shake of the head. “His ID was still on him, so was his office card. He works on the other side of town.” 

“Where at?” Jiro asked with a stern face. “Maybe we can dig around and find out what he was doing out here.” 

“He worked at the Law Firm by that one sushi bar...” The detective thought for a moment. “Don’t get too involved in this, you know those big office types. Always hiding something. He probably was over here for something shady, and got caught up in a mess. Let us handle it, you two head home.” 

Denki turned the keys in his car over and felt the air conditioning hit his hot cheeks and took a deep breath. Such a rush every time, nobody would ever suspect sweet, kinda ‘dumb’ Kaminari for anything so heinous. He drove out of the bad side of town wearing his favorite disguise.

His hero costume.

He hummed to the radio as he headed for your neighborhood, you should be getting home from work any time now. 

His phone rang, right on time. He waited a second so you wouldn’t think he was staring at his phone waiting for you to call. “Kaminari.” He said casually into the phone. 

“H-hey Chargebolt, it’s me... Y/N.” 

Your voice was so sweet, so gentle. You sounded tired. 

“Hey you! You know you can call me Denki, I told you that!” 

You laughed a small giggle and trailed off for a second. “Oh yeah, sorry. How was your day?” 

Denki talked for a little bit, saying there was a few weird things at work but nothing he wasn’t used too. “But enough about me, why was your day so rough?”  

“One of my bosses never showed up to work today, and they threw all of his work load onto me. I had to give a presentation I knew nothing about, and meet with a client who wouldn’t talk to me because I’m not a lawyer yet... I don’t even work with him often, I don’t know why I had to pick up his work.” You sighed into the phone. “I guess I’m just tired, I don’t even feel like cooking but I haven’t eaten all day.”

Denki grit his teeth and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. That bastard is messing with her from the other side, he smashed that bug to make things easier for her, not worse.

“You know what you need?” Denki asked, forcing his tone to be pleasant. “What’s that?” You asked sweetly into the phone. “Some takeout. Want me to swing by with some food?” 

“Oh no, you’re so busy I could never ask you to do that.” He couldn’t see you, but your face blushed profusely. THE Chargebolt wanted to come to your apartment? 

“I’m never too busy for such a good friend, I’m not far, I’ll come by.”

You looked through your peephole, surprised. You barely recognized your friend. You swung the door open quickly and gasped. “What happened to you!?” 

You touched his face, he looked pale and exhausted. He held up a brown paper bag and a bottle of wine. “Aw come on, I can’t look that bad!” You grabbed his jacket and quickly pulled him inside. “Come sit down, you look like you just saw a ghost.” You took the food from him and set it on your coffee table. He plopped down on your couch like he had been there a million times. 

Because well, he had. He loved spending time here with you. You had never invited him inside, but he didn’t think you would mind if he slipped in for a bit while you slept. You’re such a sweet person, you’d want him to be comfortable. 

You sat down beside him and opened the bag, the two of you talked and ate together. He had you laughing so hard a noodle almost came out of your nose. Things got quiet for a second after the both of you yawned, I guess it was getting a little late. You turned the T.V. on and a breaking news segment caught your eye.

“We’ll increase our patrols of the area to try and increase the safety of all the cities residents, for now, don’t walk alone at night and keep your smarts about you.” “Hey... that’s you!” You looked at him in shock. Your bosses face popped up on the screen next to the news reported who was interviewing the electric hero. “Wh-why is my boss on there?” 

Denk sat up and put a hand on your back. “That’s... that’s the victim I found on the south side of town today.” Your eyes teared up and you gripped onto Denki. He pulled you into a hug and you shook in his arms. “Why would somebody kill him? I mean he could be a jerk to work with, but nothing to murder someone over.” 

Denki tensed up a bit. The fact that you were in his arms, this should be the best day of his life but you seem... upset?

You pulled away from him and looked up with puffy red cheeks. “Denki I’m scared. A woman on the third floor is missing, and- and the mechanic from IT was found with his throat cut a month ago.” You stood up and paced the floor. “Not to mention my-my...” You stopped talking and crumbled back into Denki’s arms. “I can’t do this, I know this sounds ridiculous but I feel like I’m in danger.”

“You can’t be alone right now...” Denki rubbed your back and cradled you. “I think you should come stay with me for a little while...” 

“Wh-what?” You asked confused. Denki touched your face softly and gave your side a playful shock. You giggled and he hugged you again. After a moment he touched your shoulders firmly and looked you in the eye. “If you think you’re in danger, you should come stay at my place. It’s in a nicer part of the city, and I can keep an eye on you.” 

You thought for a minute. Your boyfriend has only been dead for six months, but in that time you and Denki had gotten really close. Like he was sent by an angel to help you. “I really appreciate it, but I should probably stay here. I think it would silly for me to pack everything up and run, I mean nothing is going to happen to me, right?” 

Denki smirked, but he wasn’t happy. “Are you serious right now Y/N?” 

His tone change surprised you and you stepped away from him in reflex. “What’s wrong?” You picked up your glass of wine that you had been neglecting and took a big sip. You’ve never really been a huge drinker, but the bitter taste gave you something to focus on.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!?” Denki gripped his hair and smiled at you. “You don’t understand what I’ve been doing for you. I really stick my neck out for you, and you never seem to care about how it makes ME feel.” He crossed his arms and shook his head. “I- I’m sorry I know you’re busy but I thought we...” You didn’t know what the two of you are. He mostly kept your relationship a secret, he didn’t want you to be in the press at all. But you felt like the two of you are really close, you’d never take advantage of him.

“You still don’t get it do you? Everything I do is to make you happy. Make your life easier, and you don’t even seem to notice.” 

He took his jacket off and threw it on the couch. You took another step away from him and gripped your wine glass harder. You’d never seen him act this way before. You took another gulp.

“D-denki there’s something on your shirt.” He looked down, he hadn’t noticed but a few specks of blood had gotten on his ribs. You stepped closer and grabbed it, gently touching the blood stain. “I-is this from work?” You asked in a voice barely above a whisper. Denki said nothing, he reached out and touched your shoulder. 

His hands smelled like bleach.

“I think you... you should go.” You said trying to sound firm, swallowing the rest of your wine. 

“I think I should stay the night, you look tired.” He said in a soft voice. 

Your head was swimming, your eyes feeling very heavy all of a sudden. 

You looked down at the table and saw that he hadn’t taken one sip of his drink, which wasn’t really like him.

“Denki what did you do?” You stumbled backwards and dropped the glass onto the floor.  You reached for your cell phone but dropped it before losing control of your legs. He smiled and caught you in his arms. He planted a kiss on your forehead. “Denki did you kill my boss?” You tried to cry out but you couldn’t move, he lifted you into his arms. “Oh honey, shhhhh.” He laid you on the couch. He didn’t have long to pack some of your things up and scrub any trace of him ever being here. “I was hoping you’d be more understanding, happy even that I removed all of these messes from your life.”

You choked on your words and fought to keep your eyes open. “All of these-?” 

No he didn’t mean... 

Denki crouched down beside you spoke softly. “That boyfriend of yours? He didn’t even yell out for you when he was dying on the sidewalk. He said that other girls name... my blood boiled, how could he not see that he had the most perfect woman in the world waiting for him at home?” He scoffed. “That’s when I stomped out his teeth. He didn’t deserve to ever say your name anyway.” Denki stuck his tongue out at you, showing off his teeth. You wanted to scream, but your eyes shut. 

You felt his lips touch yours, before everything was black.

I didn’t put the lyrics in here but I definitely alluded to just about all of them. What did you think?? I had fun writing this one. 

[qtakesams]

When Life Goes On, Go with It

Two years ago this month, I moved to Edgewater, Maryland, to complete a summer internship with the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center. SERC, as we call it, is a branch of the Smithsonian Institution that specializes in climate, coastal, terrestrial, and various other types of sciences. Their campus is an hour east of Washington, D.C. They own hundreds of acres of land, on which they house their laboratories and fields.

It was just after my sophomore year of college ended. As with many underclassmen years, mine was turbulent. I endured a drastic shift in my social circle which had, even if temporarily, left me feeling stranded on a campus I was still learning about. I’d had a rough spring semester, finding a lack of motivation to complete any assignment.

Most undergrads face that year: the one where nothing feels right, and each path feels like a dead-end. I had applied for a SERC internship on a bit of a whim. Entering college, I’d seen myself as a fiction writer and editor, planning to end up in a corporate publishing house. Sophomore had shown me I desired other things, and I applied for SERC’s science writing internship completely unsure if I’d actually like the work. What if I didn’t? What if it felt worse than the previous semester? What would I do if I couldn’t bounce back?

All of this, I decided, would be worth the risk. When I got an email from the internship’s advisor in March, offering me the position, I accepted it. The rest, as some might say, is history.

SERC is a hard place to find until you’ve visited a few times. The brown sign is easily skipped by the eyes. Coming from the west, you approach SERC on the left side of the road. Immediately, you forget that you’re technically in the suburbs, less than thirty miles from the epicenter of political heat in America. After a few turns, you arrive at the gate. When SERC is publicly open, you drive on through. When you’re an intern coming back from the bar at night, you have to swipe your ID card. You drive a few more turns, watching closely for deer, before that final right turn that drops you into the parking lot of the intern dorms and the labs.

I fell in love with SERC within days of my arrival. There were the intimidating factors of the place: fellow interns at Ivy Leagues and respected colleges, scientific labs into which the government itself funded millions, no meal plan, and the stick shift vehicle I would drive all summer. I was terrified when my mom drove away. I explored the floor of my building, admiring the kitchen, perusing the book selection. By eleven, I was in bed. I was tried from traveling, but more so, I didn’t know what to do. I’d briefly interacted with the other intern already on my floor, but I didn’t know him well enough to go say hi. There were four interns moved in below my floor, but I hadn’t seen any of them yet. I suddenly seemed wildly out of my element, though I had felt comfortable at SERC the moment I drove through the gate.

Of course, I grew happier at SERC. The happiest I’d been in years. Within weeks, I made strong friends, adjusted to my job, and began to close my GPS when driving to the store.

My work felt good. The articles I wrote and the media I created reached thousands of people, many of which gave positive comments. My words were reaching people, and the people were responding.

I was raised by a scientist, but more importantly, by well-educated, empathetic people. Loving my planet was part of the gig when I was growing up. In high school, I began to see where my privilege in this education existed. My friends at school didn’t seem to care about the things I’d be taught to care about. Water consumption, electricity, knowing the landscape on which your house is built. I knew important moments in history, and how they affected me. I had early knowledge of politics, to the point where I knew who George Bush was before his presidency ended (when I was 10). Ignorance and empathy tend to go hand-in-hand, mostly because ignorance leads to apathy. We’ve seen this cause-and-effect equation hold catastrophic, deadly consequences in 2020.

When I arrived at SERC, it didn’t slip by me that I suddenly had access to information that most people only dream about. Many of us are ignorant (I remain ignorant to 99.9% of what happens on this Earth) by circumstance, not by choice. Accessibility is one of our biggest problems of a global society attempting to function in a digital, climate change-riddled world. Sixty percent of the globe now has Internet access, but that leaves 3.08 billion people without the knowledge they need to protect themselves from the setbacks of climate change. Most of those people, as it would turn out, are terribly affected most by war, poverty, hunger, climate, social injustice, etc. These things intertwine and cause one another. Not always, but often.

My position at SERC gifted me access to science occurring in real-time. When the Pandemic would hit a year later, it would be surprising but not shocking. On a planet where politics and science are brothers, and the population is soaring too high to properly maintain, containing a spreadable virus is like trying to hold a cup of water in your bare hands. Sooner or later, it’s going to slip between the cracks and go everywhere. If it slips far enough, you’ll never find a towel strong enough to collect it all.

In March of 2020, when I moved home to isolate, I knew the rest of college was trashed. Not my degree, necessarily, but the experience of college. I would lose that experience in its normalcy, and therefore the skills which develop from that normalcy.

I did soon realize, however, that we are not always fortunate enough to do something about mass-casualties or problems. There’s not always an answer, straightforward or not. When there is one, you should grab it with both hands.

That summer of 2020, I decided I wanted to pursue a master’s degree after college. Higher education is not unknown in my family; we boast high degrees from prestigious universities. I am the opposite of a First-Generation student (one of my great-grandparents also had a master’s degree). Graduate school had already been on my mind when I started college, but I didn’t know what for. An MFA in fiction had felt the most logical to my teenage self in 2017, but by 2018, that felt out the window. What I had realized by the summer of 2020 was that, in the midst of the chaos and absurdity, was that I could in fact do something about what was going on. I can’t solve climate change, or house the homeless, or save every polar bear, or even eradicate a virus, but I can help in my own way. On some level, I can do something about the many crises. This, in itself, is “doing something”.

Science writing is a polarizing subject, of this I have been aware my entire life. Unfortunately, we’ve made science political, though politics are generally opinion (with strong empathy) and science is fact. It’s a tough, competitive field, but so is everything else. If you want to “make it” in this world, you have to willingly shed blood, tears, and probably sweat profusely. As I watched the COVID cases skyrocket simultaneously to the people I knew who cared not to stay home, I could tell something was off. People weren’t listening. If they were, it was usually to the ignorant voices on television.

I could feel my cheeks burning as I watched the Johns Hopkins map. It seemed cruel that we, as a society, could do that to ourselves. That we could allow this virus to spread and kill, but also that we had put ourselves in this position. I had already been envisioning myself as a science writer every day since my time at SERC had begun. Finally reckoning with the knowledge that not everybody is a scientist, nor cares to be one, was the icing on the cake. I couldn’t fix it all, but I could offer my help. So, I would.

When I began this blog two years ago, it was solely for abroad purposes. It was a fabulous way to let anybody who cared know what I was experiencing and how I was handling those experiences. Studying abroad, no matter how or where or how long, is difficult. Studying in general, for any length of time on any subject, is mindboggling tedious. I give kudos to my friends and family who have any advanced, foreign, or nontraditional education.

What I discovered after I began writing blog posts and sharing my thoughts is that there’s always more to the story than the words on the page. That’s why I’ve added to this blog in the year and a half since my abroad semester ended; there is always more to tell.

In a few weeks, I begin my master’s degree at Northwestern University in Chicago. My degree is in journalism, with a specialization in Science and Health reporting. I’m nervous to my core, as I am with any new adventure. I just graduated college last weekend, so my emotions are running wild. Yet, I have a feeling I’m about to finally be where I’ve wanted to be for years. I love words. I love messing with them, shaping them, using them to fit whatever project I want. I also love science. I love knowing what is happening around me, and why and how it is. Combining them already feels like a dream come true, so I’m sure the next year will feel magical.

The classes of 2020 and 2021 are probably the most resilient in history. A Pandemic, racial and social injustice, wildfires, remote learning, wifi issues. We’ve seen it all, and it’s made us stronger every day.

I think I’ve worn this blog out for this phase of life. My thoughts on what I’ve talked about here are valid and important, but they don’t exist alone. For somebody who’s pretty much been writing since she could hold a pencil, I hate journaling. I’ve tried so many times, and never succeeded, with the exception of this blog. That said, it gave me an incredibly strong, consistent manner of getting my thoughts on the page, for which I am endlessly grateful. If you’ve kept reading my thoughts and words, you should know I’m endlessly grateful for you, too.

All of this is saying that, whether you’re ready or not, life keeps going. Life can be cruel, it can be challenging, it can be beautiful. No matter what, it keeps going. As my friend Ferris once said, if you don’t stop and look around from time to time, you could miss it. So much changed so drastically in the last year. I’m still processing it. I might always be processing it. Most importantly, I think, is that I’ve learned to flow with it wherever it goes. It’s harder sometimes than other, but the result is usually worth the grind.

You might read my stuff in the Times once day, or (my personal favorite dream) National Geographic. I don’t know honestly know where I’m going, but I’m okay with that because I do know that I’m on my way. I’m still going. When life continues, you should go, too. You never quite know where the climb will lead, but you do know that the view will be great.

[trying-write-fanfics]

Shinso Hitoshi X Reader part 29

Could Shinso fall for the same irrational behavior that Y/n was in. Those held dear to him threatened against him, unsure who to trust? The act of reaching out could only worsen the situation. Eyes watching, where you don’t even know from what angles. 

A lot of class A actually visited the trio. Benny and Sonny were in decent spirits. They asked about Bakugo and Shinso since they were part of the second act of Y/n’s parents being kidnapped. They were released from the hospital first, but were told to take it easy when it came to training without mentors. Y/n was another story. 

Y/n had to have a series of police interviews. Not just for her motives, but every mission she ever went in with her turncoat hero. We’re they actually helping or hurting society? Y/n beloved all their missions were good since they saved people, only to find out some of it was staged to boost her mentor’s popularity. But she wasn’t part of anything that really hurt society. They did ask her to describe everyone she had ever seen in the agency building which was taxing on the mind. The department allowed half days at school and early mornings to “softly” train. Benny looked up ways how to train without bothering her wounded areas. 

Shinso got a lot of his information from the girls in his life, mostly Mina and Sonny. Sonny told him she enjoys studying with him because he’s so dumb it makes her review all sections, not just her “problem areas”. Mina was checking on Y/n, fearing for her mental health. Her parents were able to leave the hospital, but want Y/n to re-evaluate her career choices.There was back and forth that there is corruption in hospitals and probably every other path. It didn’t make her parents feel any better, they just wanted to hide Y/n in their house and protect her from every possible threat that could ever come in contact.

To everyone else, Shinso was still the edgy purple hair kid he always was. He wasn’t sleeping right, he had a sour attitude, but he didn’t feel the same. He felt a new type of crushing exhaustion mixed with confusion. And then two weeks after the incident, Shinso was just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, his eyes were tired, but his body refused to sleep no matter how still he was, his phone rang. Like instinct, he answered, not even looking at the caller ID.

“Hitoshi?” It was Y/n, sounding more like herself compared to their last meeting.

“What’s up?” He asked casually.

 He didn’t know when he was going to face Y/n. All his guilt was coming back from accidentally using his quirk on her, that led to the whole parents kidnapping incident. Even their last meeting, she didn’t get to talk much. They haven’t been real with one another in awhile.

“I just thought to call. See how you are doing…” She said on the other line.

“You didn’t think I’d be asleep?”

“Not a chance.” she told him.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” he asked.

“I was just waiting for my parents to go to sleep. They’ve been fighting a lot, and i’m not really allowed to leave the house, so this is my privacy time.” she said.

He figured the topic they were fighting about.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Why do you always assume I’m mad at you? I’ll let you know if I’m mad at you.” She told him. “I’m starting to feel bad about how often you think I’m mad at you.”

“I wasn’t the nicest to you at the hospital.” He reminded her

“I got you involved in some drama that could have killed somebody.”

“That somebody was you.” he reminded her.

“I knew their goal wasn’t to kill me, but it was an accidental blow towards Bakugo. I just thought they would have stopped. I miscalculated…”

“Is that why you haven’t been back?”

“Partly to let my stitches work, but mostly my parents are afraid to let me out of their sight right now. Imagine if they found out about that creep you saved me from.” she said.

“Well I miss you…” Shinso realized what he had just said and grew red. They were words from the heart, but shouldn’t be said so lightly. “Your presence.”

“Yeah, Hitoshi? I light up your day?” she teased “I miss you too, you’re nice to hang around.”

 Things felt a little normal again through the phone call. It wasn’t all bad she was stuck at the hospital. She got a pretty expensive fruit basket she loved. Made her feel like royalty. Shinso gave her some highlights over the Bakugo vs Deku fights, and informed her Iida is still a hardcore rule reminder. Y/n talked about different foods Sonny and Benny brought her, and how it annoyed Y/n’s mom because Y/n’s mom is a good cook, she just hates cooking. And considering her parents were kidnapped, Y/n does not feel like asking her mom to cook for her. There were lower notes of how she get sore if she stands too long, and can’t sit normally for long periods of time. Y/n yawned a couple times, telling a story, and ended up falling asleep on the other line. Shinso listened closely as he could hear her breathing.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” he whispered while hanging up the phone.

 Y/n became meme central for class 1-A, unable to be the busy wannabe hero she was, she sent everyone memes all day long. Pepe the frog, Da Vinky, Kardashian reaction gifs, spongebob, pikachu, the office, a whole variety of memes. For a bit there were lobsters drinking wine on esty shirts. She really did bright the days up of many while in solitude. Sonny and Bakugo would fight, but would still inform how Y/n was in her classes.

 “My Y/n ever so elegantly presented the best idea for a business she could run for our small business class. Gym equipment rentals. She had her hair all styled, she was a little nervous at first, but my Y/n always weathers a storm…” Sonny rambled after beating Bakugo in a fight, who was fuming.

“I didn’t ask!” he yelled.

“Well, if she were to set up that business in real life, surely you’d take part, skip the gym membership, just get the equipment. I bet as a future hero who is as socially awkward as yourself would want a more private way to work out.”

“Shut up-”

“Oh cool it, just sign here that its a good idea. She can’t leave the house, or stay after school to get signatures.” Sonny told him.

“I’ll sign it.” Shinso offered.

“Of course you would.” Sonny glared.

“Shinso use to be a string bean.” Denki added his signature.

“I’m aware. Broccoli boy threw him out of the ring.” Sonny said.

“What was your big bright idea, huh?” Bakugo asked.

“I already got my signatures, but it would be a Bona Fide field of people with flame quirks providing thermal energy for homes, since a lot of flame quirks have been dehumanized over the years. Thanks Endeavor…” She sarcastically said the last part.

“When’s that crybaby coming back?” Bakugo asked.

“Why do you care?” Sonny asked.

“I was there when…” Bakugo started, but stopped.

“It’s unclear. Her parents don’t really support the hero field right now. I heard recovery girl even tried talking to her parents to encourage them to let her go back. Maybe when she’s fully healed.” Sonny shrugged.