#and also im tired and sick and want to get this over with

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

Hi can I request first time with chan with shy reader? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

i’ll help you through it, yeah?

pairing: chan x virgin reader

genre: smut, fluff, friends to lovers

word count: ~2.6k

warnings: mutual pining, pet names, protected sex, praise.

authors note: i have this request in my inbox for other members as well, so look out for those in the future. i have so many requests (tysm btw) so it’s taking me a little while to get through them. i’m trying to do the oldest ones first because y’all been waiting so long. - not me blushing while writing this. i wish my first time was this sweet. lol

masterlist

"i’m just sick of it, ya know?" you complained. "i’m sick of feeling like this. like im unwanted and missing out on something."

your best friend looked at you, intently listening, but worry starting to mar his features. "are people being mean to you because you’re a virgin?" you could sense the anger threatening to rise up out of him at the thought of someone being mean to you.

"no. this is just pressure i’m putting on myself at this point. im too old to still be a virgin."

"i don’t think that’s true." chris said. "i thought you were saving yourself for someone you really loved? wasn’t that the point?"

he was right, you had always said that since you and chris were kids. you didn’t want your first time to be some fleeting, gross experience. you wanted it to be sweet and full of love. but, it didn’t seem like that was working out and you were tired of waiting.

"yeah well i don’t think that’s going to happen." you said, your voice soft, almost sad. "the person i love doesn’t love me, so im just going to have to give up on that." you chuckled sadly, the sound almost a scoff.

"i understand that. im in the same situation." he confided. "but i haven’t given up. i don’t think you should either."

you looked over at him, the space between you both on the couch was small. you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. that’s just how chris is. he’s warm. he’s warm and he’s safe and.. how could you not be in love with him? your heart longed for him to be the one to take your virginity. your heart ached with the thought of it.

he looked back at you with his big brown eyes, his curly hair tickling his eyelashes. and he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. why couldn’t you just see how in love with you he is? he hated himself for not being able to confess to you. for not being able to just come clean and tell you how you are the center of his universe. but he was scared. to have you as his best friend and to long for you but never have you was better than telling you and losing you all together. but maybe.. he could try to help you with your current problem? see how things went and then he could decide from there what he would do.

"i could maybe.. help you." chris said shyly, rubbing his sweaty palms together in his lap.

you were shocked. "help me? with this?" why would he offer to help you unless he also wanted to? you felt a small bit of hope bloom in your chest.

"only if you want to." he said quickly. "i’m not trying to push myself on you. i’m just trying to help. we don’t have to."

you thought about it for a moment, your body screaming at you to say yes. but your mind was telling you everything that could go wrong. what if he hated it? found you gross and laughed at your inexperience? you brushed those thoughts off. you and chris has been friends for over fifteen years. he would never do something like that to you. he was kind.

"i would be okay with that.." you said. "but it might not be very good."

"i’ll help you through it, yeah?"

you loved him. god you loved him. this was the right decision,you knew that.

he scooted closer to you on the couch, your thighs pressed against each other. he touched your face, turning you to look at him. he looked in your eyes before saying "if you want to stop, just tell me,okay? i won’t be mad." you nodded as he looked down at your lips. and ever so slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you or scare you, he leaned it. his pillow soft lips made contact with yours and you were done for. he moved his lips against yours, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head. your hands found their way around his neck, tangling in his curls.

this felt so right, but your stomach churned with worry. your body was still tense.

"sweetheart, relax." he whispered against your lips. "you know me." he kissed you again, his tongue grazing your bottom lip. you felt embarrassed. kissing chris felt like the first time you had ever kissed anyone,even though that wasn’t the case.he had you so flustered, your lips weren’t listening to your brain’s commands. you opened your mouth and let his tongue in. he tasted sweet.

he pulled away, admiring your flushed cheeks. "do you want to move to your bedroom?" he asked. you nodded, and he stood, offering you his hand. he led you though your apartment and to your bedroom, knowing the way by heart. standing at the edge of your bed, he pulled you close. he kissed you again, his hands finding their way under your shirt, tickling the skin of your tummy.

"can we take this off?"

your hesitation made him pull away, studying your face for any signs of wanting to stop. "would it help if i took mine off first?" you nodded again, thankful for his suggestion. "you want to help me?"

you grabbed the hem of his black shirt and pulled it up and over his head, discarding it on the floor. you looked at him, at his body. you had seen him shirtless multiple times over the years. summers spent together swimming and early mornings at his apartment after late night study sessions, but this was different. his chest was bare because he wanted you to see it. and that made your skin hot.

"now you.." he said, reaching for your shirt slowly, giving you time to protest. but you didn’t. you let him pull your shirt off, leaving you standing in front of him in your jeans and lacy black bra. his eyes grew wide, his breath catching in his throat. could he do this? you were so beautiful and he hadn’t even seen all of you yet. you were starting to squirm under his stare. his hands were warm and soft as they grazed over your skin, his arms wrapping around your waist as he moved to kiss you again. his fingertips danced up your back, until they unclasped your bra and it fell to the floor. he continued kissing you, not looking at your bare chest right away, giving you time to get used to being bare in his presence. you nipples brushed against his chest, growing harder. arousal pooling between your legs as his kisses moved to your jaw and then your neck.

he took his time with you, slowly placing wet kisses on your skin as he guided you to the bed. he laid you down gently, his body hovering above you. he kissed down to your collarbones, across your chest and down to between your breasts. he looked up at you, his lips still pressed to your skin. your cheeks were red, your mouth slightly open as you tried to draw in breath. he saw no signs of stopping in your eyes. no , they begged him to continue. his lips closed around one of your nipples, his tongue gently caressing the nub. his hand gripped your waist as he sucked on your nipple, your hands balled into fists at your sides.

"you can touch me if you want to, baby." he said, his breath blowing cold against the wet skin of your breast. "don’t hold back."

he kissed his way across to your other nipple as you brought your hands to his hair. he started to move lower, until his lips were against your belly button, and even lower still until his tongue was running along the top of your jeans. "can i take these off?" he asked, fingers grazing over the button and zipper. with your approval, he carefully unbuttoned them and slid them down your legs, revealing your panties that matched your bra. he looked up at you, his face only inches from your center. "you’re so wet, baby." he said. "i can see a little wet patch on your panties."

your face flushed and you turned your head, hiding your embarrassment in your pillow.

"hey.. hey.." he said, his hand finding yours, tangling your fingers together. "don’t hide, baby. let me see your pretty face." you did your best to look at him, trying not to focus on your insecurities, but trying to focus on him instead. you squeezed his hand, his kind brown eyes showing nothing but love. he kissed your hip, and across your skin until he was placing a gentle kiss on your clothed clit. you jerked slightly. "is that the spot baby?" you nodded, biting your lip.

he pulled away, standing up. he chuckled at your pout, your little whines of protest. "just let me take these off." he unbuttoned his jeans, and kicked them to the side. he was only wearing his underwear now, his erection causing the material to stretch uncomfortably. he admired your body from this angle. your arms wrapped around your middle, your legs bending, trying to cover yourself. "don’t." he said, grabbing one of your wrists in each hand and holding your arms out. "let me look at you, baby. god, you are so beautiful."

his hands found their way back to your breasts,squeezing slightly before his fingertips grazed down your skin to the elastic of your panties. he hooked his fingers around them. "can i take these off? can i see your little pussy?" you lifted your hips in answer, helping him slide them off. you were completely naked in front of him now but you didn’t have time to be self conscious about it. his lips were already back on your skin,kissing everywhere he could reach. "fuck you’re so pretty." he mumbled against your tummy. "been dreaming about this."

what did he mean by that? you wondered.

"can i see you too?" you asked, your voice sounding so loud to your own ears, having been silent for so long. but you were starting to feel more comfortable. he made you feel so safe.

"of course you can." he said, straightening again to take his briefs off. and now you got to admire him for a moment. the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen leading down to his hard and leaking erection. the first thing you thought was that he was big. but honestly, you didn’t really have much to compare it to.. so what did you know? "don’t worry baby. we’ll go slow." he said, sensing your hesitation.

he leaned down to kiss your lips once again, his fingers making contact with your wetness. he rubbed soft circles on your clit. you grabbed onto his shoulders, your small whimpers falling into his mouth.

"does that feel good?" he asked.

"yes.." you breathed. "so good."

his fingers traveled down through your folds and teased your entrance. "i’ve got to prepare you a little bit, okay? like this.." and he slid one finger inside of you slowly, pumping in and out. you had done this to yourself before but this was completely different. you had never felt like this before. "there you go, baby." once he felt you had gotten used to the first finger, he added a second. he moved them in and out slowly, his thumb rubbing softly on your clit. you could feel your orgasm building. you were embarrassed by how quickly it had come. but you had been waiting so long for him to touch you like this, you couldn’t help it. he could feel you fluttering around his fingers. "are you going to cum?" he whispered against your neck, his lips pressing soft kisses, his teeth nibbling.

"yes.. yes fuck." you panted.

"go ahead, baby. let go."

and you did, you clamped down on his fingers, his name falling from your lips as your body shook.

he had been fantasizing about you moaning his name like that for so long now that it took everything in him not to bust right then. he took a deep breath, pulling his fingers out of you. you watched as he brought them to his mouth and licked them clean, your pussy dripping and pulsing, begging for more. he leaned over the side of the bed and fished a condom out of his pants pocket.

"are you ready?" he asked, holding the condom up.

"yes please." you said, breathless.

"ooh so polite." he teased, giggling as he tore the foil pack open. you watched as he pumped himself a few times, precum leaking from his swollen tip, before sliding the condom down his length. he leaned down and cupped your face, kissing you softly. "remember, we can stop at any time. just tell me. okay?"

"i don’t want to stop." you said, desperate. "please don’t stop."

he smiled. "i won’t unless you tell me to." he knelt in front of you, his hands on your knees, spreading your legs. he lined himself up with your entrance before slowly pushing the tip in. you gasped and his head fell back, his mouth open. he slowly inched his way inside, giving you time to adjust. you whined under him, your eyes squeezing shut at the stretch. "i know, baby. i know." he said. "you’re doing so good." once you felt his thighs on the back of yours, he stilled. letting you properly adjust to his size. he could feel you pulsing around him, his cock begging to cum. "i’m gonna move now, okay?"

you nodded frantically. "yes. yes please, please."

he slowly pulled out and pushed back in, his pace increasing with each thrust. he wasn’t going to last much longer. he knew that. "fuck— baby you feel so g—good." he stuttered. his hands were digging into your hips as he pumped into you. his mouth open, his eyebrows scrunched together, his hair sticking to his forehead. "are you doing okay?"

"fuck yes.." you gasped. "gonna— gonna cum."

he could feel you squeezing around him. he fell down on to his elbows, his arms caging your head, his panting breath in your ear. he continued pumping in and out of you, the wet sounds filling the room. "cum with m-me baby." he said. "fuck- fuck-"

you squeezed him tighter as your orgasm washed over you, you vision going dark. his thrusts got sloppy and then stopped all together as he spilled into the condom. he collapsed next to you, his panting matching your own. he lazily kissed your jaw and your shoulder. "i love you.." he said.

you froze.

"shit- sorry." he said. "i- i didn’t mean to ruin the moment.. it slipped out."

you turned to face him, his brown eyes looking worried. "i love you too.."

his hand caressed your cheek, his thumb rubbing softly back and forth. "really? you’re not just saying that because your overcome with emotion right now?"

you shook your head no. "i’ve been in love with you for a while now.." you confessed.

he chuckled. "i’ve been in love with you for a while. guess we were both too scared to say anything."

you nodded, feeling blissfully happy. you nuzzled into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"are you okay?" he asked. "was that.. okay?"

"i feel amazing." you said, your voice muffled by his chest. "i’m glad i waited for someone i truly love."

"gahh my heart." he said, squeezing you tighter,

[darling-flora]

Everybody Here Wants You

fc: bella hadid

joe burrow x yn model (bella hadid) x ex!paul mescal

Note: I feel like this is really long 😭 I had a little fun with it. Let me know what ya think !!! ❣❤❣

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TMZ

Liked by username1, username2 and 969,944 others

TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and actor Paul Mescal have SPLIT after 2 years of dating.

Though the pair were recently seen in Ohio around L/n's family farm, Y/n was reportedly trying to work through the problems but articles came out about Mescal having an affair, to which Y/n immediately broke off the relationship. Then only days after they called it quits Mescal was seen around London with director J.J. Abrams' daughter Gracie Abrams.

There have been rumors of Mescal and Abrams growing closer around the same time as the relationship of Y/n and Paul started to grow rocky, Mescal hasn't commented on the split but sources close to Y/n L/n have expressed that "Y/n was heartbroken but she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane but then she saw proof of an affair and it all started to click".

Although the actor hasn't commented on the break up, people close to the actor have and said "As soon as Y/n found out about him and Abrams, she didn't think twice about dumping him, and he immediately regretted ever meeting Gracie. He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for".

While Mescal has been seen around London with another girl, Y/n has been spending more time in Ohio on her family farm.

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username1 wait they were at her farm was like a month ago.... so they've been broken up for like a month ??

↳username2 yeah they haven't been seen together since then, and paul has been seen with gracie and they've gotten more and more public..... ↳username1 omg it took him like half a year to even say he was in a relationship with y/n when she was so openly in love, then for him to be this public with gracie like weeks into their "situationship" is crazy...

username3 omg tmz with all the details holy....

username4 not really the point but her family has a farm ??

↳username5 yeah they have a family farm and her stepdad owns an educational animal sanctuary that help's people learn about animals !! ↳username4 oh i had no clue, that's sick !!

username6 i feel so bad for y/n "she was also getting tired of all the lies, she felt a bit insane" like poor girl... 😕

username7 tmz were you in the room when they were breaking up ??? how do you know so much..?

↳username8 wouldn't be surpised if people close to her are "leaking" stuff, if he was having an affair i would tell reporters too 🤭

username9 "He was and still is head over heels for Y/n which i think scared him so he did something stupid that Y/n will never forgive him for" omfg he's such a man 😒

↳username10 he's always talked so highly of y/n only for him to CHEAT on her ?? ↳username11 at the end of the day he's just another man im afraid.....

username12 he regretted ever meeting gracie IS CRAZY like your holding her hand around london wishing you NEVER MET HER ??

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cincyanimalsanctuary

Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others

cincyanimalsanctuary We had the pleasure of welcoming some of the member's of the Cincinnati Bengals to the sanctuary for a little team bonding before the start of the 2022 NFL preseason starts.

Huge thank you to all the staff and animal ambassadors for being so welcoming to our guests, as well as a thank you to yourinstagram for showing the team around !!

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username1 y/n looks so happy, im glad !!

bengals Thanks for opening the doors for us. Everyone had a blast !!

↳bengals Extra thanks to yourinstagram for showing us around 🧡 ↳yourinstagram It was an honor to get to know the team everyone was a delight, a day well spent !!! ↳joeyb_9 Thanks for the lesson on horseback riding !! ↳yourinstagram You were a natural 😉 ↳sam_hubbard_ Well.... let's not lie ↳yourinstagram He was a QUICK learner, maybe not a natural.... ↳joeyb_9 ??????? ↳yourinstagram sorry.... 🤭 ↳username2 this feels like flirting...🤨

username3 wait did they meet the cows and goats ? did everybody ride horses ?

↳cincyanimalsanctuary Yes ! Everybody got a chance to pet and feed all the animals and Y/n joined a few of the guys to teach them about riding horseback !!

username4 bro y/n does so many side quest

joeyb_9 it was a pleasure !! will definitely come back 👍

↳cincyanimalsanctuary The doors are always open !!

username5 y/n with an nfl player next 👀💭...

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yourinstagram

Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 4,959,944 others

yourinstagram ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

Comments on this post have been limited.

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TMZ

Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others

TMZ Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow seem to be serious ! The owner of Cincy Gym posted the two working out on the same day, only 2 months ago the two were spotted on a date and it appears the pair are still going strong.

view all comments

username1 YES !!! i was wondering if they were together

username2 i truly thought he has been in a relationship since college

↳username3 he was in a relationship from high school to college but she didn't wanna move back to ohio so they broke up

username4 qb in the gym 💪 LFG !!!

username5 this is so serious for me

username6 do we think she's going to games ???

↳username7 oh absolutely !!!! I CANT wait to see what she'll wear

username8 i have no one to talk to about this 😭

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yourinstagram

Liked by joeyb_9, paulmescal and 4,959,944 others

yourinstagram me and blu woke up to a house full of flowers !!

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username1 girl why is p*ul in the likes ?????

joeyb_9 Mhm wonder how that happened 🤔

↳yourinstagram no clue.... 🤭 ↳username2 honestly love how unbothered they are ↳username3 they do NOT care that paul is liking her post 😭 ↳username4 we love a secure relationship 💅

username5 he wants her back so bad but she's moved on.... im laughing 🤭

devonleecarlson my girlfriend is so gorgeous! ❤️

↳joeyb_9 ???? ↳yourinstagram what....? ☺ ↳yourinstagram love ya devon !!!! ❣ ↳username6 the ???? IS KILLING ME 😭

username7 getting the love she deserves IKTR ! ! !

username8 hey paulmescal you miss her now that she's with someone else ? 😂

liked by paulmescal ↳username8 BRO YOU ARE NOT SLICK ↳username9 not him liking then un-liking 😭 ↳username10 he's with gr*cie why is he here ??? ↳username11 gr*cie def thinks it's more serious then he does, with the way she's been talking about being in a relationship recently😭

username12 you are so beautiful y/n 💕

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joeyb_9

Liked by yourinstagram, sam_hubbard_ and 2,959,944 others

joeyb_9 Summer photo dump ! How did I do ?

view all comments

username1 soft launching y/n....

yourinstagram Solid 8/10 ☺

↳joeyb_9 I'll do better next time 🫡 ↳username2 wait why is this kinda.... 🫦

username3 Honestly a pretty good photo dump 🤷‍♀️

username4 little less joe and a little more y/n next time !! 😉👍

↳joeyb_9 I'll take this into consideration ✍ ↳username4 PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳username1 nevermind..... i guess it's a hard launch 😭

username5 y/n rating it a 8/10 when i feel like she helped him chose the pictures 😭

↳yourinstagram he had the final say i fear... ↳yourinstagram i insisted on the 3rd picture tho !! 😁

lahjay10_ We'll put some more work into the next photo dump 🤫

liked by joeyb_9

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TMZ

Liked by username1, username2 and 369,944 others

TMZ Actor Paul Mescal breaks his silence on split with Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n, after Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow and L/n confirmed their romance.

When Mescal was asked about how he was doing, he hesitated before saying "I've been better" "It's been the most successful year of my life professionally but I've felt like sh*t the whole time" "I have no-one to blame but myself, for making dumb mistakes which I'll regret for the rest of my life" "It sounds really dramatic but it's true, I knew how good I had it, I was the happiest I've ever been and I was afraid of that, and I ruined the best part of my life, but now i have to learn from that mistake and grow".

Since the split Y/n L/n has talked a bit about the relationship and when asked about Mescal's statement L/n stated "I know my worth and I'm truly happier then I've ever been, being surrounded by my family and one's that I love and one's that show me love everyday; I almost forgot what that felt like".

What do you think ?

view all comments

username1 BRO we do not feel bad for you paul 😭😭 YOU cheated ???

username2 where is the y/n and joe pic from ????

↳username3 a friend of theirs posted it, i think it was from a birthday party !!

username4 paul you almost got me then i remembered y/n said "I was also getting tired of all the lies, I felt a bit insane" y/n may forget and forgive but I don't 🤬

username5 i mean just by the pics she looks happier with joe 🤷‍♀️

username6 she almost FORGOT WHAT LOVE FELT LIKE ???? paul when i catch you 👊👊

username7 omfg he is NOT being quite about how much he regrets losing y/n 😭

↳username8 he want's her back BAD

username9 he should've kept his silence

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joeyb_9

Liked by yourinstagram, sam_hubbard_ and 2,959,944 others

joeyb_9 Play Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley & go buy Orebella !!

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username1 wait im gagged

username2 joe said f^ck paul and his statement

yourinstagram Love that song !! & i love you 😉❤

↳joeyb_9 Love you bby ❤😍 ↳username3 i bet she makes him giggle... ↳username4 ????? ↳username3 idk i just feel like she makes him kick his feet while giggling and blushing 😭 ↳lahjay10_ she does.... TRUST me ↳yourinstagram PLEASE ??? 😭☠ ↳lahjay10_ it's true ↳yourinstagram oh i know 🤭 ↳username5 STOP I LOVE THEM !!!

username6 joe won at life 😍

username7 PLAY EVRYBODY HERE WANTS YOU AFTER PAUL HAS BEEN LIKING HER POSTS ???? joe burrow you have moved me

username8 he really said that's MY girl

sam_hubbard_ 💪🤠

liked by joeyb_9

username9 "I know everybody here thinks he needs you, I'll be waiting right here just to show you, How our love will blow it all away" who knew joe was a lover boy ??

username10 finally a man that show's y/n off

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yourinstagram

Liked by joeyb_9, paulmescal and 5,859,844 others

yourinstagram Im still in shock over the turn out of our first day of orebella thank you everyone for your love and kind words; it means the world to me. I can’t thank my team at orebella , my family , friends and loved ones enough for the support, time, passion and love they put into me and the Orebella launch. Orebella is a dream come true, it feels unreal to think this is reality. Thank you to everyone involved. I couldn’t have done this without you🤍

view all comments

username1 take y/n's happiness double it and give it back to her 🫂

joeyb_9 Congratulations to you my girl, i love you !! I'm endlessly proud of you ❤

↳yourinstagram love you handsome ❤ ↳username2 oh i need a man so bad ↳username3 "my girl" 😭❤

arianagrande So well deserved !! Love you !!!!! 🤍

↳yourinstagram thank you sm ari !!! 💞

username4 need HIM out of the likes....

↳yourinstagram no need to stress about it, im happy !! ↳username5 mother taking the high road iktr !!

username6 the people's princess !! ❤👑

devonleecarlson so proud of u 😙❤

↳yourinstagram ❤ ty ty ty ❤

username7 happy y/n is the best y/n !!!

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yourinstagram

Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 5,859,844 others

yourinstagram Summer is over, time for 🏈 szn !!

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username1 summer has been over for a minute im afraid...

↳yourinstagram i forgot to post these pictures 😩

username2 what's it like to always serve 💅 ??

joeyb_9 Ugh that food was so good

↳yourinstagram we'll have to go back 😉🤞 ↳joeyb_9 also your cute 😍 ↳yourinstagram says you...😘 ↳username3 CON😭😭 GRA😭😭TULA😭😭 TIONS ↳username3 that should be me with y/n 😔

username4 the last pic !! they look so cute 🥺

devonleecarlson PRETTY GIRL LOVE YOU !!!!!!

username5 YAYYY i hope i get to meet you at a game !!!

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yourinstagram story

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nfl

Liked by username1, username2 and 1,969,944 others

nfl Supermodel and CEO Y/n L/n has arrived at MetLife Stadium for week 3, the Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets game.

view all comments

username1 who is she rooting for ?

↳username2 bengals, she's dating joe burrow

username3 who asked ?????

username4 they are 0-2 if the bengals win this game i need her at every game 🙏

bengals Our favorite cowgirl !! 🤠

username5 so joe has extra motivation to win ? im sold

username6 we don't gaf

username7 i'll admit she's a pretty girl

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yourinstagram

Liked by joeyb_9, devonleecarlson and 6,959,944 others

yourinstagram 🐅 27-12 !!

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joeyb_9 Prettiest lucky charm ⭐

↳yourinstagram 😚🫶 ↳username1 bros whipped ↳username2 ??? it's y/n if i were him i'd be more whipped then he seems

username1 her influence is crazyyyyy b/c why did i, who knows nothing about football watch this game??? anyways go Bengals !!

username2 MOTHER TO ALL !!!!

username5 IT WAS NICE TO MET YOU !!!!! AHHHHHH

↳yourinstagram Nice to meet you too !! I hope your studies go well ❣ ↳username4 you are so lucky !!!!! what was she like ?? ↳username5 she was so sweet !!! i gave her a few bracelets i made, her favorite was one with the number 9 😭❤

devonleecarlson You looked so pretty on my tv 🤭❤

↳yourinstagram You are too sweet 😘!!!!!

username6 Y/n at a game is a cause for celebration !!

username3 first win of the season and y/n is there ? we need you at every game PLEASE 🙏 !!!

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[cdbabymp3]

hi! i love ur editor!reader, i was wondering what some like domesticated things her and hamzah do? like do they shop together for necessities? do they cook for each other? or do they kind of like mind their own business while being roomates? love you sm queen

𐙚domestic stuff ― hamzahthefantastic

notes/warnings: just a collection of domesticated activities w these two shy freaks <3 nothing super nsfw, just mentions of pads and using condoms lol

farmer's market 🍊

hamzah found this street downtown that holds a bunch of food and trinket vendors every sunday morning, so that's what sundays usually look like for them. the market opens at 8am and you guys are always the first ones there LMFAO. hamzah will be like, "oh, wow, this is so cool! how much is it?" and the poor lady working the tent is still setting up her stuff 😭 it's also a fun opportunity to try new foods that the vendors make homemade, which he's all over. lowkey he's a bit of snob when it comes to organic food, so he loves the homegrown/homemade shit. you'll both separate for a bit and come back with samples for each other to try, it's very wholesome. "ah-hamzah! too spicy!" you giggle, waving your hand over your mouth, not even sure what hamzah just gave you to try "no, they're good! i bought a whole bag!" he holds up a large bag of spiced cashews with a price sticker that says $30.00 "30 dollars???!!" you spit out what's in your mouth and grab the bag "yeah, but they're homemade!"

cooking 🥄

believe it or not, hamzah is a pretty decent cook ! he teaches you some simple recipes since you've never lived on your own before. you guys like to try recipes that are wayyyy too advanced for you just as a challenge. it usually ends in ordering take out, but you two laugh and bond so it's #worth it. plus, it's the perfect excuse to watch him open sauce jars and help you stir when your arms get tired. with your flexible schedule and him filming, you're the one who cooks for the two of you―unless he really wants to. he has a burner facebook account just for recipes im so serious. he does not play....if it's a way to impress you, he's doing it. you mentioned wanting cupcakes randomly? he's never baked in his life, but for you he's reading 'susan's yummy vanilla cupcakes in a pinch' like it's the bible. he even goes to mandy for baking tips, but makes her swear not to say anything to you or martin. 'accidental' food fights. if you're both working on dinner together, he'll 'accidentally' get some marinara sauce on your hand, so you flick some parmesan cheese back at him. this usually results in you two chasing each other around your small kitchen, trying to dodge small bits of flying ingredients. one time, martin facetimed you guys in the middle of a food fight and he was so confused. "wait, what are you guys doing?" he gets close to the camera, noticing bits of food and stains on both your shirts "it's pizza night. mind your fucking business, bro." hamzah will try not to laugh and hang up 😭

shopping 🛒

let's just say the walmart and ikea employees hate to see you two coming.... you guys take so long at both stores, but especially walmart. hamzah is always grabbing shit you don't need and then forgets where he found it. you're there on average 2 hours per trip, it's embarrassing. just to get basic necessities, it takes forever. you offer to split up so you can get your stuff and he can get his, but he refuses like a child. he also gets distracted easily, so you figure it's better if he sticks with you. that way he can't get lost. however, with how reliant he is on you for the grocery list and location of the items, when you're sick and can't join him.... it's a fucking nightmare. he'll call you or facetime to make sure he's getting the right stuff, but he's speaking full volume and you keep telling him to be quiet. "wait, which ones? the green or purple?" he asks, flipping the phone camera so you can see "um, the purple, yeah..." you say quietly, face flushed "purple??? these big hammock-lookin' ones?" "i'm hanging up." you'd never tell him, but when he brought home the groceries you swear you saw a box of condoms amongst his bag of toiletries. a pang of nervousness and jealously hits you. your brain rapid fires a million questions like: when is he using those? does he think he's going to need them soon? who is he using them with? it's none of your business, you know that, but still.....sometimes you forget he can just go out and hook up with someone he if wants. it's makes you a little sick to your stomach. albeit slightly possessive, it's hard to picture him with someone else when you two spend so much time together on the daily. sure, he could meet some nice girl at a coffee shop. they could hit it off and she could take him back to her place. but she doesn't go lamp shopping at ikea with him or know which deodorant he likes and which one he's allergic to.

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @nativegirltapes @etherealval @thatmartinkitten + lmk if u wanna be added !!!!

[stonerskinny]

i’m so upset with myself. i don’t know what i weigh because im too scared to check. i don’t believe that i deserve recovery but i am at my fucking limit with this shit i am so tired and i feel so disgusting all the time and i’ve missed more work than i should have from being sick because i’ve actually been so depressed that i can barely get out of bed. i don’t think this shit will be sustainable through the end of the year but i don’t see any other option. all i can think about is quitting my job and spending all of my money on drugs and just getting high for a while and then offing myself. it’s literally almost all i think about. all day long. i dream about it. i am absolutely fixated on the idea that i cannot continue.

let me walk you through my days. i wake up and get upset immediately because i am still alive. then i think about the fact that my birthday is in t-minus 10 fucking days, and i’m still in the mid 250s when i should be hitting 240 by my birthday at LEAST but ive plateaued for the last month. then i decide i do not deserve to eat, and then i get high and say fuck it and order food to b/p. and then i get higher and doom scroll for hours and debate cleaning but find some excuse (today, it’s that i can’t take out the trash rn because it’s pouring rain, which at least is more valid than usual). and then i debate unaliving until i remember that i promised bestie i would not do that while she was in res, so then i cry about the fact that i can’t do it. and then i get high again and b/p again and then facetime my other bestie until we fall asleep. and then i wake up and get upset because im alive and the whole cycle repeats.

my mental health has declined so intensely over the last week and a half or so and i just don’t know what to do about it. therapist is no longer dangling the idea of res over my head because she’s realizing i am noooooot open to it and thus it will not work. which i am grateful for. but also, can i confess something? i am kind of starting to open up to the idea of it. a little bit. a teeny tiny bit. and i don’t think it will work and i don’t think it will be worth my time but i am starting to wonder if that could be wrong, maybe, and that it could actually be different this time because i just don’t want to do this anymore.

[soup-soup-soup-soup-soup]

SOUP-ER BOWL ROUND 15

LIVIN' THE DREAM IN CREAM, THIS SOUP IS A SWAMP OF FLAVOR YOU AND YOUR ONIONS WILL WANT TO SINK INTO, LIKE AN OGRE INTO MUD, THIS SOUP'LL SOON BECOME YOUR LIFEBLOOD--IT'S CREAM OF ONION SOUP!

(image credit: tasteofhome.com)

AND, AS THE NAME IMPLIES, FROM FRANCE THIS SOUP IS MULTI-LAYERED JUST LIKE ITS MAIN INGREDIENT--IT'S GOT CROUTONS, IT'S GOT CHEESE, AND OF COURSE, IT'S GOT ONIONS--SAY BIEN VENUE FOR FRENCH ONION SOUP!!

(recipe: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/13309/rich-and-simple-french-onion-soup/

image credit: poshjournal.com)

[puppyeared]

man

[safety-pin-punk]

yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.

[bunnihearted]

🍽️😔🎻

[ace-apple]

me when theres more corruptions and deaths and villain arcs and possessions and whered the joy go wheres the joy. will they heal can they heal please can we get something good for once i thought we learned from the dsmp ending

[voidcat]

once again at my wits end bc of men

[wizardnuke]

bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.

[devilzfruit]

depression cancelled i cleaned up a small part of my room and also my bag

[denako]

Hey guys! Life update since i haven't posted anything in some time

College started three days ago and

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[goofnuggetkarlaa]

well it seems youtube on firefox is no longer letting me play videos in anything higher than 720p, and some its only allowing me to view in 360p. and while duckduckgo's duck player works fine, if i stream it over discord, no audio can be heard on the stream (╬▔皿▔)╯

guess im stuck having other people be forced to stream the videos for me i guess until some tech genius starts having this problem as well and creates a workaround.

fuck youtube, fuck google, fuck every big tech company (and every non-tech company while we're at it), fuck every greedy capitalistic pig who is purposefully making my life more irritating and inconvenient for me just because they can. now where's that damn guillotine

[snazum]

being a creative sucks never do this. (vent below sorry)

it's constant swinging of i love what i make and want to make it i need to make it now now now and FUCK FUCK FUCK MY LIFE I wna to die a little bit, everything is pain and tiring and the world sucks and why can't i just do things and im selfish and terrible and not even that good at art