#and also just giving vanessa the screen time she deserves

[paigelts05]

The Warden's Recovery [FNAF, Renegade AU]

https://www.deviantart.com/paigelts05/art/The-Warden-s-Recovery-FNAF-Renegade-AU-1004820238

Renegade File Server Location: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52491037/chapters/132789442

Published: Dec 24, 2023

Recovering isn't easy, and being a walking prison for the ghost of the world's most deadly serial killer isn't easy either, but Vanessa Diego, now known as Vanessa Cabrera since her marriage, pulls through better than anyone could have hoped for. So with William permanently contained within her, the specifics of how he became trapped is a report for another desk and another day, she can stop looking at the past and start looking towards the future again.

=°•.🌹 Story 🌹.•°=

°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•🌹•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°

Recovering isn't easy.

Whilst Ness had hoped that things would go back to normal, the headaches didn't go away, odd fears had already bubbled to the surface, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched every moment of the day. She used to be used to that feeling, but she shouldn't be. The idea that she was now free didn't sit right somehow; it felt as if there was still something there that shouldn't be. Every movement she made that she didn't consciously give the green light to scared her, as what if that was him.

It had been a while, but her apprehension over even so much as falling asleep didn't fade entirely.

Even though she had Luis and Gregory, she still felt alone sometimes, as if she didn't deserve to return to a normal life, as even though she wasn't responsible for what William had done when he had full control over her body, the fact that is was her body that was used should have at least counted for something, right?

Apparently, this wasn't the CPD's first rodeo with mind melds and murders, the first being the woman behind the chronophobia killings, who was now a 24/7 on-call paranormal responder who wears half a dozen trackers at all times by her own choice, and it was actually this woman whom Ness had received her own controlled shock wristband from as a just-in-case measure if William did happen to come back (and lucky she did, as the leech was dormant and incapable, but not gone). At least she wasn't alone. Mike had compared the mind meld situation to a hostage situation where one hostage is forced to kill another, and somehow that made sense to her. And if Chofi didn't deserve to rot in a cell, then she definitely didn't either. But her heart still ached on behalf of the families William had torn apart, whose only closure was watching William's robotic vessel burn for what, the third or fourth time now?

At least she had been labelled as a paranormal entity. But then again, Gregory also had that label. As well as half the CPD paranormal department, Mike included. So it didn't mean much. Just a fancy "handle medical issues with caution and an open mind; defibrillators may kill this person" label.

No real consequences.

But, even though it was her body, she was merely the unwitting inanimate arrow; not the guilty bowman, which clouded her mind with the same old question: would she deserve the consequences.

Taking a deep breath, she sat in front of a computer screen, and pulled up a word document that had become familiar to her in the recent months. A manuscript for a book that she had decided to write. Fiction, fantasy, horror. She had started with writing of her experience of Glitchtrap taking over her mind, but the words had soon become metaphors, writing the virtual environment as a castle and herself as a princess (she had to rewrite the other bits to fit, but it was worth it). Just like how Cassey had conveyed her own grave error that wound up with Ness becoming posessed by translating the events into metaphors within the game 'Princess Quest'. She had called Cass, and she was fine with Ness writing a book using the exact same metaphors, and even encouraged her. After all, Ness had helped on that game too.

Ness's manuscript delved further into the fantasy elements and world building. The two princesses, the monsters, and the old man were all there, but she had added a knight, a court mage, and many other characters too, each a reflection of someone she knew. She had wound up writing the three arcade machines that Sylvia had glitched as people - a trio of conspirators with a dark secret. In her draft, the knight would meet each of the conspirators, but she had bearly fleshed out the story up to the first one. Most of the story was in a 'zero draft' state, as she called it; a series of notes in brackets to get a vauge outline of what was going to happen where. She had been calling the story "Conspiracy of Archedor" for quite some time, and the title kind of stuck, even if it was one of the first things she had thought of.

She resumed writing, and she felt a headache in the back of her mind. She recalled a frame of a memory from the Pizzaplex: Sylvia was playing the monty golf arcade machine, and she was watching, stalking.

She would write of the swamp conspirator next.

She found the page where the note of {knight finds swamp conspirator} was written, and under it, begun to write a story of the elegant knight chasing a noble through a swamp and getting the man to explain his connection to the dark force within the castle before giving her a green gem in exchange for keeping his life, and that the gem, when used with the others, would grant her access to the castle's innermost chambers.

She then jumped forward to her notes on the final few chapters, where the knight would hand the gems to the squire, who would then use them to open a door within the castle, which let the knight, squire, and second princess advance to the heart of the castle to save the first princess. She fleshed out her notes a little bit more before returning to the earlier segments.

There was one segment, the second third of the story, that she had managed to flesh out quite a lot but had never managed to finish, and she returned there once again to tackle the remaining notes.

The segment was about a young noble who had attempted to save the first princess before the squire showed up. She didn't know how to end that segment, and she needed to know what to do with the character of the young noble in order to work on the later segments too.

"Ness, I cooked dinner. It's beef stew."

Ness practically jumped out of her seat before turning to Luis, who was standing just behind her.

"Sorry if I scared you. You seemed really invested in writing that story," Luis said, looking a bit red in the cheeks, "but dinners ready."

Ness nodded and saved her document, twice to be safe, before heading downstairs to the dining room.

As the smell of food entered her nostrils, she felt all her worries melt away. Luis's cooking always did that to her, and she was glad that he cooked this often, especially now that they had a son. Ness could bearly ever decide what to eat herself and usually had food that was not that good for her, never mind thinking of what food would be healthy for a child.

Feeling like the luckiest woman in the world once again, she sat down at the table. As the three ate, Luis was the first to say anything.

"So, how's that book coming along?" He asked with a smile. Luis knew that Ness felt burdened by what William had used her to do, and that this book was one of the few things that Ness did to take her mind off of the tragedy. She always seemed happy to talk about the book, and if her face at work was anything to go by, she needed a quick pick-me-up conversation right about now.

"It's going ok. The draft is all here there and everywhere, but I've drafted out the swamp conspirators bit. But I don't know what I want to do with the young noble from the second third of the book, before the knight learns of the conspiracy." Ness stared at her stew for a bit, "he's kinda based on you, so I don't want to hurt him, but he fails to get through into the centre of the castle, like how the arcade didn't work for you, so I'm kind of stuck."

"You could end his bit on a cliffhanger and have him be found half dead by the knight and everyone later." Gregory said between spoonfuls of stew, "I read a lot of books at the library back when I was homeless. It was some of the only shelter I had. I've read my fair share of dark fantasy, and they like to do that kind of thing."

Luis nodded and added, "yeah, that sounds about adjacent to what happened to me when I tried to save you."

Ness nodded and continued eating. She didn't want to hurt the character who was effectively a representation of Luis, but he did almost die back when he tried to save her, and perhaps this would help her come to terms with that.

"You're right. That sounds like it'll work." Ness replied before eating another mouthful of stew.

After dinner, Ness helped clean the kitchen and dining room before retreating back to her computer and the story she was writing.

She jumped back to the end of the second third, where she had written up to the young noble finding the door that led deeper into the castle. The words had ended abruptly before the page break into part three, but she now knew what to do and noted out what to write next, and what started out as notes quickly snowballed into her writing a painful description of the young noble trying to get through the door, but it never opening, and she ended the scene on a shadowy figure that appeared to take the form of the first princess slowly approaching the young noble.

She wrapped up the scene there, and jumped forward to the first time the knight comes across the door. She had a note that was just {???} And {somehow figures out they need stuff to get in}, but she knew what to write now.

It hurt to type the words, but she wrote of the young noble, collapsed and wounded at the sealed door, bearly clinging to life, but managing to tell the knight about the conspirators and how they held the keys to this door.

And she was stuck again. What would she write to end the scene? By all means, if she was writing just some dark fantasy, she would have had the young noble close his eyes and die, but this was more than a fairytale to Ness, and she didn't want what was effectively a representation of her beloved to die.

Instead, she opted to have the Knight order the court mage to see to the young nobles wounds, as perhaps he knew more than just of the existence of the conspirators.

She smiled. That actually filled quite a few plot holes, from how the knight knew where to look, to what she was going to do with the court mage in the second two thirds of the book, as since writing the first princess's adventure and the castle of ruin arc, she had only showed the court mage a few times in the post first-princess-captured storyline, despite the mage having been the first princess's companion and being there constantly in part 1. It also roughly mirrored reality pretty well. Cass was there for her during the VR incidents, Sylvia was there for her during the Pizzaplex incidents.

As her notes became less and less vauge, she felt more confident. Perhaps this little project of hers spiraling into the tens of thousands of words was less of a chore than she thought it'd be.

She saved and backed up her work before closing her computer for the night. That was enough coping for now. She actually had to keep living as a normal person and not a depressed wannabe author if she wanted to get better.

Besides, the ghosts would be pissed if they thought she was locking herself away from everyone again, and she didn't want another spectral clip round the ear.

When she went to grab herself a cup of tea (coffee still made her head hurt, but as of late, she had been able to consume slightly larger amounts of caffeine than just a cup of tea) she saw Luis helping Gregory set up a games console in the living room. She couldn't help but smile seeing the two get along, and as she finished brewing her drink, she sat down in the living room.

"So, what are you two doing?" She smiled, wanting to make smalltalk.

"Setting up one of dad's old consoles." Gregory said as he untangled a white cable from an identical white cable with military efficiency.

"He saw some of the games that I have for this old thing and wanted to play them. So, I'm getting it set up. The remotes will probably need new batteries though." Luis added as he pulled out a box of gaming remotes and extracted the cableless white stick shaped remotes from the other types of remotes before rummaging back through the box for the teardrop shaped attachment whose cable seemed to never end.

"That seems like fun." Ness replied, smiling as she sipped her tea, "which game are you playing?"

"This one." Gregory picked up a game disk box that had a pair of malformed white rabbits in a shopping trolley on the front.

Ness half expected herself to panic when she saw it, but somehow, she didn't. Her heartbeat was normal. Her breathing was normal. She didn't feel dizzy.

"It looks like it'll be fun." Ness replied. She noted that the word 'fun' no longer left a sour taste in her mouth. She'd said it twice already, but didn't notice a thing, "do you play as the rabbits?"

The word, 'fun' didn't seem to make Gregory flinch either, as if it was just another normal word again.

"Yeah. I've read the box and instruction booklet, and it seems like it'll be fun. Also, it's kind of two player. One person can control a second cursor to pick more 'xs' stuff up and shoot things with a third rabbit, but only the first player can control the ones with the trolley." Gregory looked at the box, then at his parents, "Do either of you two want to play?"

Ness looked at Luis, and Luis looked at Ness.

"You helped set up the console, I think you deserve to play. I'm fine with watching." Ness couldn't really stop herself from smiling. She also probably wouldn't be able to stop herself from back seat gaming weather she was player two or not.

"Oh! Ok." Luis seemed a bit surprised, usually she'd never decline an offer to play a videogame, but then again, Ness looked rather tired, the game only supported a maximum of two players, and she probably wanted to rest rather than do anything remotely mentally intensive. "But if you feel like playing, I'd be happy to hand over the controller."

Ness nodded and took another sip of her tea, "yeah, but I just feel like watching today."

Whilst his parents had been talking, Gregory had switched the console on and inserted the disk. He then begun to faff about with the cables connecting the console and TV and begun messing about with the television remote, trying to figure out if everything was working.

After adequate faffing to try and set up the remotes, he turned to Luis.

"Which one of these do I select?" He asked, looking between Luis and the TV, the consoles main menu showing what looked like multiple smaller screens.

"Top left." Luis replied without even looking.

"Alright…" Gregory said as he waved around the remote to try and find the cursor, "you said it's motion controlled. How do I motion control."

"Have you set up the controllers?" Luis asked?

"Yeah." Gregory replied as he passed Luis one of the controllers, "here's the player 2 remote."

"You need to point the remote at the screen like this," Luis replied, holding the remote horizontal to the screen, akin to how you'd hold a television remote, "and you should see a cursor."

Sure enough, there was a red cursor on screen, clearly belonging to Luis's player 2 remote.

Gregory nodded and mimicked the motions, pointing his remote at the screen. He couldn't help but smile when the blue cursor popped up. It had been years since he had played a game on a home console (his biological father had some consoles, but all the remotes were the generic looking plug-in ones). Shaking off the past, not wanting to dwell on it any longer, he pointed his remote at the screen and aimed the cursor at the top left mini-screen.

"This one, right?"

"Yep!" Luis replied in an encouraging tone, "now you need to click the 'A' Button."

"Which one's that?" Gregory asked, trying to read the faded lettering on the old remote. He had seen many remotes, and each had a different idea on where the 'A' button should be, so he assumed this was no different.

"It's the one in the centre below the D pad." Luis replied, only just noticing how faded the lettering on the remote that Gregory had picked up was, "We should probably switch remotes. This one is less faded. It'll only take a bit to switch which one's player 1 and 2."

"Nah, I can learn." Gregory replied as he actually selected the top left mini-screen, subjecting everyone in the house to ear shatteringly loud brass band Romanian folk music.

Ness quickly turned the volume down to a reasonable level, but not before noting that it had previously been at 40. This television was loud at 20, so she wasn't surprised that her ears were ringing a little.

Now that the volume wasn't agonising, she could actually listen to the soundtrack of the game, and it actually sounded very nice, as she presumed the sound designers intended. After all, you're not supposed to listen to anything at such a high volume: anything will sound like pain when at a high enough volume. Something she had learned in the worst way possible back at the megaplex.

"The console menu screen music is pretty quiet and I thought that the audio channel on the plug wasn't working." Gregory replied, "forgot to turn it back down."

"When did you even turn it up?" Luis half laughed as he tried to quell his ears brand new problems.

"When you two were talking." He said as he managed to navigate the games menus. Two of the profiles were in-use, and one was not.

"Would you look at that! A spare save slot. Let's use that one." Luis smiled as he helped Gregory start a new game.

As Ness watched, she was surprised that the bunny-centric gameplay didn't scare her. Probably because the rabbits looks so cartoonish and wild compared to the killer bunnies she had to put up with.

When the actual gameplay started, Gregory had a hard time figuring out the controls, and he did soon concede and accept Luis's offer to switch remotes. Switching which controller was which didn't take long at all, and being able to see which button was which certainly helped Gregory learn the controls.

The gameplay seemed to be slightly infuriating but fun, the movement feeling like you're actually trying to navigate a shopping cart around, and some of the timed segments were brutal, but the utter chaos was fun to watch, and the evening slipped by in a blaze of laughter and fun rage.

The next morning, Ness woke up to the usual sound of an alarm, and the usual 'good morning' from a still half asleep Luis. But something felt different. As she got washed and dressed, it hit her: she hadn't had a nightmare. This marked the first time since they left the megaplex behind for good that she didn't have a nightmare but still had a dream, so she smiled. No dream was better than a bad dream, but actually dreaming was something that was once again new to her, and she was glad to have her dreams back.

As she sat down to eat breakfast with everyone else, Luis gave her a little nudge. "You know you have the day off, right? You don't need to rush."

Ness realised just how fast she was eating and shrugged it off. She was feeling better, but knew that she wouldn't be going back to normal working hours any time soon: she was still ill. Her body was a cacophony of medical issues caused from her time as Vanny: shattered kneecaps from inhuman jumps, broken bones from fights she shouldn't have won and falls she shouldn't have survived, poorly healed abdominal scars from her own attempts at saving Vanny's victims and her patch-jobs in the aftermath. She had many wounds that needed tending to and many wounds that needed some level of inactivity and time in order to heal properly, just to list some of the physical wounds.

"Yeah, I just don't want to feel like a slob. Besides, I'm meeting up with a friend today." She smiled; just because she was resting didn't mean she had to slob about inside all day.

Luis lit up, "really? Who!" He was ecstatic that Ness was no longer shutting herself in, physically or emotionally.

"Vincent Taylor," Ness replied. She saw the man as being like an uncle to her, and they both had William destroying any chance they had if being normal since day one in common, "You know, the florist. The guy who got shipped to us in a crate and we thought Faz Ent' mailed us a corpse?"

"Of course I remember him, like I'd forget the guy who did the flower arrangements for our wedding." Luis replied, "I know you're always worrying about my memory since you know when, but I've not suffered any lasting effects from it, promise."

Luis knew how much Ness was terrified of being alone. Unsurprising given that soon after the raid on the megaplex that was supposed to end all the terror, Ness had been kidnapped by Fazbear Entertainment and had been subject to the horrors again. He didn't have much information on what had happened back then, seeing as he was in hospital the entire time for a wound he had received in trying to save her the day she was kidnapped, but if the 'we don't talk about it' policy everyone involved subconsciously followed regarding that and the linked 'Ruins' incident was anything to go by, he probably didn't want to know.

At least she won't be alone today.

As Gregory set off for school, Luis set off for work, and Ness set off for the local park.

Ness found a bench shaded by a tree, far from both the play park and car park, so it was just her, and whoever was passing by. She was surprised at how she didn't feel scared, but chalked it up to the fact that she wasn't surrounded by walls and circuitry, and she was in public to boot. The cold morning air made her feel awake and alive, and when she recognised someone in a white wide brimmed sun hat adorned with a green ribbon and purple flowers, she waved him over.

"A bench in the shade on the far side of the park isn't a very good descriptor, you know." Whilst Vincent couldn't be physically out of breath, he mentally was, "especially at this time of day, when nothing is in the shade."

"Well you found it eventually." Ness smiled in return.

"I suppose I did," Vincent smiled with a slight chuckle. Even after all this time, hearing a genuine laugh or seeing a genuine smile from the man was a rare occasion, but both had just occured, "well, this isn't the most conventional way to spend a Wednesday. For you at least."

"I've had days off on Wednesdays since I got back home." Ness gave a shrug and a smile, "At first I also had half days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was back to full-time Thursdays within a week, and Tuesdays I just spend the latter half of the day in the break room."

"Because of your fear of being alone or your inability to drive?" Vincent inquired. Since the entire megaplex incidents, Ness had been unable to drive. Vincent could empathise.

"Both I guess." Ness paused for a breath before continuing in a mellow tone. "I don't think I'll be back behind the steering wheel for a while yet. And, why do you think I can wait out here alone but can't stand to be home by myself?"

Vincent smiled and shook his head. "You link being alone to being controlled by William. I recall you mentioning in the early days of your possession that he would refrain from taking control when others were around. I take it your body recognised this as a pattern and instilled this fear in order to prevent you from leaving yourself vulnerable."

"And I don't feel this fear outside because it's a public place with government owned surveillance and where there's no surveillance, there are plenty of witnesses," Ness replied as she gazed at a butterfly that had landed on her knee, "everything I do is being observed by at least one person Fazbear Entertainment can't control, with another witness probably not far from them, and because William only ever took control when I was alone bar his intended victim, I guess being in public just feels safe."

Vincent nodded "then maybe you should try it more often. How about when both you and Luis both have the day off, you can both come here. It might help him too. Being in the fresh air, not the in public bit."

Ness recalled what Luis had gone through during the last stretch of the Raid: being used as Adelaide's test subject. She didn't want to think about the horrors he'd experienced; getting turned into a feral assassin and getting set loose on a crowd of Endos and Friends.

Perhaps that was why he was so uneasy at the shopping centre a two weekends ago.

"That might help, as long as it's not busy." Ness nodded.

"The park is never busy unless it's a warm August day nowadays," Vincent smiled, "but I prefer it that way. Less people to convince that I'm just a weird furry each time my hat falls off."

Vincent adjusted his hat as he spoke, and only then was Ness reminded that under the man's sun hat were a pair of animatronic's ears that were effectively welded into his skull. Which reminded Ness of a somewhat adjacent thing of her own.

Rolling up her sleeves, she showed Vincent a pair of metal bracers around her wrists. "That reminds me. The prototype was finished shortly after I got home from that ordeal."

Vincent observed the bracers and the panels of buttons under a layer of perspex that adorned them. "What is it anyway?"

"Containment bracers! Cassey T and that ghost girl in her head made them way back when but they haven't worked on me until now. William is weak. With everything that happened at the megaplex, he was left with few options. Unfortunately for me, he eventually gave up on Burntrap and tried to latch back on to me. But I was ready and I tricked him, so it's closer to normal possession this time. So that's why the bracers now work. He just, leeches instead of actually trying shit. And whilst dad does most of the fighting now to keep him as just a leech, these bracers issue periodic controlled shocks that I can't even feel to keep William contained." Ness explained all of this with a smile, "people at the station have taken to calling me 'The Warden' thanks to my new duty."

"'Warden Vanessa'." Vincent repeated, "Quite the title."

"Just 'The Warden'," Ness replied, "I'd rather keep my anonymity."

Vincent nodded. "I understand," he said, "you didn't exactly have much of a choice in your duty. But you performed it well, even before your title. Remind me, how many years did your spend shirking William's orders?"

"Umm…" Ness couldn't entirely remember how long she had been posessed for. When was the VR project…. Two, three, four years ago? More or less? "I don't remember. Between two and four?" She replied. It might have even been five years. She couldn't be bothered to check.

"Well, regardless. However long it was, it took William Afton torturing you for years before you began doing anything - sorry for bringing up that time he made you attack Luis during that first time that rabbit man tried to make you go to the megaplex. And it took even more for him to actually drag you to that damned place. It took him just assuming direct control over you and using you like a meat puppet for your body to be used to actually kill someone. You went years containing him within you before HE had to actually assume full control over your body in order to do damage himself. And this was before anyone was able to make professional apparatus to specifically contain him" Vincent recounted a shortened version of the last few years of Ness's life, hoping that maybe this was the time she understood that Ness, the freaking WARDEN of Glitchtrap, the one woman keeping Glitchtrap out of the hands of the cult within Fazbear Entertainment whom worshiped the dead CEO, and that  she, Vanessa Diego - no, it was Vanessa Cabrera now - was innocent, and that her innocence was legally declared at the very casual meeting where she was given the title of warden in the first place, "And even when he assumed control, you did everything you could to keep him from harming anyone. You may have failed a few times, but you, a normal girl who is SUSCEPTIBLE to possession, managed to STAVE OFF and THWART the possession of one of the most dangerous ghosts ever recorded. And now you continue to do that. You're doing great Ness. Better than I ever could have."

Vincent had admitted a million times that he was a mere tool who obeyed orders as he saw no other way to minimise casualties, and he had died to his own victim's hands in the end. But when he looked at Ness - he considered the girl his niece at this point - he saw someone who refused to be a tool, someone who was given two options of 'kill or they'll be killed by someone else more horrid than you', and said 'fuck no' to it all and carved her own path out of it where she didn't have to kill anyone, where it took William trapping her within the megaplex with little to no food and water for her to fall off of the path she had made for herself, and even then, with every action Ness could control, she tried to drag herself back to her no-kill, now minimum casualties, path. Never giving up.

Ness nodded. After the upteenth time of being told, it truly was beginning to sink in. Ness, the warden, was actually not only innocent, but also was holding the line keeping Fazbear Entertainment from getting thier hands back on thier CEO. She didn't have a reply, she just smiled. Whilst recalling her time as a mere puppet at the megaplex hurt, she knew that that's what she was there; a posessed puppet, and anyone else in her position would have probably been forgiven for just letting themselves fall asleep and wake up with blood on thier hands. But Ness fought tooth and nail for control, refusing to just become a tool so easily, and on many nights, made sure the only blood on her hands was her own. She remembered the ghost kids that carolled her out of the guest room she had locked herself in back when she felt she didn't deserve freedom, and remembered thier later conversation's: that for each of them, there were two other kids who made it out alive, knowing her as the strange woman posessed by a horrible thing that she thwarted by harming herself just to buy them more time.

"I guess that's why I'm excited for William Afton's trial." Ness grinned, "At some point, we're actually hoping to bring him to trial: that'll be when me and these bracers really get thier time to shine, as they'll need to actually talk to William, and they don't want to risk anyone getting hurt. I can't wait to watch the playback and see the look on William's face when the twenty surviving kids testify that I freaking filleted myself just to buy them more time. The only two I don't remember having to gut or stab myself to save were Rachel and Gregory, and Rachel saw me force William to give Luis a fair fight, and Gregory is well, Gregory. Maybe I did though and just can't remember."

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself, warden," Vincent smiled back, "there isn't even a date planned yet, and finding suitable lawyers for a case like this is not easy. I know we have Kit, but she can't one-fox-show an entire courtroom."

"Would Fazbear Entertainment's former own court demon Kayla be a good choice," Ness suggested, "or do you think it'd be a conflict of interest, seeing as, you know, Faz Ent killed her a few weeks back."

"Suggesting it won't hurt, but even if it is, Kit could use a good co-council," Vincent giggled; the prospect of Kit and Kayla teaming up was an interesting one that would definitely leave an impression on the courts.

"So I guess we'll just have help more with the prep work," Ness smiled and even giggled herself, but the sound didn't sound disturbing or strange.

Hearing her effective uncle (she has considered her mother's friend's former colleague her uncle for a while now) also giggle didn't sound odd either, and he'd told her himself how he used to have no emotions and how almost every smile and laugh had been forced. She couldn't help but giggle more at how pathetic he must have soudned in the 80's when he was forced to laugh or smile.

"Is the idea of finding a third lawyer really that funny?" Vincent asked.

"Nah. I'm just thinking about how you and your former colleagues described your laughing back in the 80's and early 90's." Ness felt tears in the corners of her eyes as she strained to not burst into a full fit of laughter.

Vincent's cheeks puffed as he replied with "well yours weren't much less ridiculous."

"I know! He made me sound ridiculous!" Ness couldn't hold it anymore. It took her letting out one chuckle, and she was gone.

She started laughing harder than she'd ever laughed before. At how William had made her laugh, at how the former emotionless hitman used to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing, and Vincent followed suit, also laughing at how ridiculous his forced laughs from the 80's were, and at how they finally could just laugh at themselves.

Being able to laugh and not feel like a manic? Ness figured that that was another good step in the right direction.

°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•🌹•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°

[g12xxx]

Love is blind live reunion review:

Netflix needs to take a BIG L and they deserve to get dragged all over social media.

• love Brett and Tiffany, they look so happy. They needed more screen time in this reunion and they only got asked one or two questions.

• Kwame and Chelsea are still together. Umm I did like that kwame apologised to Chelsea and her family. I’m glad that they bought up the pool scene but they should of bought up kwame and Micah’s conversation at Chelsea’s birthday. At least he took accountability

• The best part of this reunion were Zack and Bliss calling irina out. Zack to Irina “ if we’re real, you went on this show to get famous” ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ he told the truth. I love that Bliss and zack always defend each other and that they took the high road by forgiving irina.

• When Irina was starting to ‘cry’ and the audience was laughing 😭🤣☠️☠️. Her and Micah should have called Andrew.

• Irina’s apology was something. Like pick a struggle Irina. I’m not even surprised that she started using mental health as an excuse of treating people horribly. I will give credit where it’s due to Vanessa for calling her out as well. I will also give irina credit for showing up at the reunion. The fact that she even dm’d bliss to say she dodged a bullet, seriously she has no shame.

• loved Bliss’s response to irina. She just classy and her face when irina was saying how she loved bliss and Zack relationship lol

• The energy that Vanessa had for Paul and marshall should have gone Micah and Jackie. She had so much grace for them then the men

•The only person that called micah out was Zack and to be quiet honest the mvp of this reunion because Nick and Vanessa are horrible hosts.

• Vanessa was so annoying. She asked Paul what he meant about the nurturing comment. He explains himself and I understood on what he was saying but she kept going at him repeatedly just SHUT UP!! Vanessa’s bias was showing

• I’m glad that Zack came to Paul’s defence. Zack was about say what micah had said in the car regarding Paul and Vanessa cuts him off ,REALLY!!! 😒

• The fact that Micah’s friends especially Shelby wasn’t even called out is a joke.

• Jackie and Josh 🤡.Jackie was on social media talking about how she has all this receipts and that she will bring them at the reunion. Well she didn’t even show up. Vanessa was not asking the questions that need to be answered at all. Just playing bestie’s with Jackie. Marshall facial expression killed me 😂

• Jackie’s excuse regarding the ring girl please, it’s all bullshit. How sad must you be to still keep the ring a year later. When Josh was talking I didn’t care.

•When Vanessa said to Marshall if he had considered Jackie’ s feelings I’m like REALLY!! what about his feelings they weren’t considered as well. There was no follow up regarding text messages and Jackie being homophobic but Marshall apologised regarding him saying that Jackie had a strong jawline. Vanessa didn’t care she already chose a side.

• Vanessa asking the cast when they are going to have a baby was unnecessary, awkward and mind your business.They only been married for a year. Then she was talking about her ovaries, please just SHUT UP nobody cares.

• I don’t who the idiot was that thought that showing Bartiste in this reunion was good idea because it wasn’t. Lauren and Cameron would of been better option.

• I liked the clips of 3 married couples hanging around together. It was lovely to see. Zack singing to Bliss 😂😂😂 Bliss loves it, they are so in love.

Cut truth or drink from 3 married couples (YouTube) was more entertaining than the reunion and that says a lot.

Nick and Vanessa cannot host another reunion, they are terrible. Love is blind Brazil have a better hosts and reunions. Lots of questions not asked and they should of let the audience ask questions. Micah and Jackie should have been held accountable for their behaviour, not given them a free pass. It’s funny that Zack was the only one that called out Micah but not the hosts of this show 🤦🏽‍♀️.

[doombum]

I just got to see the Fnaf movie, and it was SOOO GOOD !!!! I had high expectations for it, and it was even better than I thought it would be. I am so excited about everything and I have so much to say !!!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

First of all, I've just become a huge fan of Balloon Boy, that thing was hilarious. I need someone to make an actual figurine out of it so I can buy it

I had not expected to see William's springlock failure at the end as it's rated PG-13, but it was so well made and I was hyped for it the moment I realized they were going there

I'm kinda sad that Mike is not an Afton, but I loved that his last name remained so ambiguous throughout the film. Like he purposefully kept it secret when meeting Vanessa, and with William, at the start of the film he stops himself and at the end he stresses it out. There's got to be something about it that we haven't been told because he's being weird about it

Speaking of Mike, Josh was the best person for the job !! His portrayal of Mike was so spot on, he was exactly like I imagined him to be

Abby was the sweetest kid. I love her, she deserves the world. I loved that the animatronic the MC had for her was basically Circus Baby since it gives her a connection to Liz. And the fact that she still wants to go visit the kids even after they tried to kill her because she doesn't want them to be lonely 🥺

I wanted to slap Aunt Jane any time I saw her on screen. I'm kinda glad Golden Freddy got her. Poor Mike was already struggling enough to make ends meet, he didn't need an asshole aunt trying to get money from having custody of Abby. He may be struggling, but at least he loves Abby.

That cupcake was gonna be the end of me. It was so savage every time. And when Chica lowered him in the vents... It was hilarious, he is great !

Also, any time we had shots inside the security rooms, and with the security cameras, it made me so nostalgic for Fnaf 1 (I'm gonna have to go play it again now). And even everything as a whole was so well done and so faithful to the games, especially the animatronics and the layout. And the opening credits made in pixels like the mini games was just the cherry on top.

[cattyanon]

OKAY. Finally the post with my thoughts on the FNaF movie.

First, non-spoiler thoughts: AUGH I LOVED IT!!! SO MANY THINGS THAT SURPRISED ME AND A FEW THAT MADE ME GO "IS THAT A REFERENCE???"

Anyways moving onto spoiler territory below the read more!

Hooooo boy how to start... I guess I'll just take it from the top.

That intro scene was really neat! Loved the thing with the mask as a reference to getting stuffed in a suit. Then of course there's the actual 8-bit intro which was *chef's kiss* and a quote-able moment.

Me, watching the kids get lured away: *dramatically* NO KIDS DON'T DO IT. DON'T TRUST HIM. NO YOU FOOL!! D:

It's not the exact stuff I said but that's the gist of it. :P

Anyways moving onto our boy Mike Schmitt... He totally went overboard with punching the guy. Like damn, just detain him.

Then there's his dau- I MEAN SISTER Abby because uh. Who was expecting that reveal? Very much caught me off guard and did me a confusion. Also autism solidarity~!

Okay, what next... The getting of a new job I suppose. One thing I wanna point out here that my mom actually noticed later on was that the guy giving the job looked like what would later be revealed as William Afton (maybe I should double check this fact but whatever). But her genius of connecting dots doesn't stop there!

So you know how the guy cuts himself off when saying Mike's full name upon getting to the last name? And how it was revealed William Afton kidnapped his little brother? Well my mom made the connection that the reason he cut himself off is cause he recognized the last name! Anyways I thought that was a really neat catch by my mom so I had to share! <3

Moving onto him actually getting the job, I first wanna say that the the restaurant looked soooooo cool! And the mini jumpscare with Balloon Boy was quite a surprise, and then followed by Mike turning it around? Hilarious. AND THEN THEY DO A SECOND TIME LATER. If it wasn't clear I found this very funny. And the first time it happened I was like "FAIR. I'd do that too."

Now the police woman being Vanessa was definitely a surprise! Tbh I haven't played or watched Security Breach cause one day I wanna play it myself so um. For future reference i'm not familiar with the lore of that game since I've actually done a really good job at avoiding any major spoilers.

As a quick side note, the quote of me saying "SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE~" happened when those idiots broke in to sabotage Mike. And since this slightly dipped into spoiler territory I didn't mention the fact a made a few variations of that. Things like "SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO DIE~" and "SOMEONE HAS DIED~".

Now for that actual sequence. First thing I wanna say is LOVED IT. Assholes kinda deserved it, although I did say stuff like "ya know, maybe you should get out of there...? That would probably be a good idea." knowing they were probably all gonna die anyways. And Bonnie in the closet? AWESOME REFERENCE TO FNAF 1. As for the final quotes for this section of the movie, it was during when the lady/final survivor was shown on screen. The moment I saw her I was like "YOU SHOULD REALLY GET OUT OF THERE." followed a few seconds later by me saying "oop- too late." once stuff happened since once the animatronics acknowledge you it seems like you're pretty much screwed unless you get lucky

Then Mike brought his d- sister Abby to the pizzaria I was like "DONT DO THAT" before shortly afterwards realizing that the animatronics weren't actually very likely to hurt her since she's a kid and not an adult. For a second I questioned this when she screamed but of course it's then revealed they were just tickling her. And speaking of that...

THE ANIMATRONICS INTERACTING WITH ABBY WAS AMAZING AND SWEET AND I AWW-ED MULTIPLE TIMES. It was also really cool to watch them move around. Like that and the scene where Bonnie fell over and then gave a thumbs up when asked if okay totally slayed me. And everyone in the fort just laying on the ground? That was adorable! Also that marionette/baby looking- hey wait a sec could that be a reference to Markiplier's FNaF 2 playthrough??- animatronic was so neat! At first I questioned if it was supposed to be the marionette but upon further inspection I was "yeah that probably is."

And then Mike ends up pissing the ghost kids off...

Poor guy gets torn apart in the dream world which we previously learned reflects onto his body in the real world. That was a big "oh shit" moment because I didn't consider that Vanessa would be there. And then, rightfully so, Mike grills her about how she knows everything she's told him so far and to my anger KEEPS DEFLECTING WITH THE SAME DAMN ANSWERS.

But eventually it's revealed thAT WILLIAM AFTON IS HER FATHER AND THAT'S HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH. I don't know if this is general knowledge from Security Breach that I avoided but DAMN did that catch both me and my mom by surprise! My mom even had a neat theory (albeit wrong) on why she knew so much which was that maybe Vanessa had been given to the ghost children/animatronics in an exchange in the past like how they wanted Abby, except that time it worked out. Which, again, was wrong, but I thought it was a really neat theory!

When Golden Freddy went to pick Abby up at first I was like "Freddy?? No, I'm pretty sure he doesn't look like that" but then the ghost kids represening Golden Freddy appears and it's like "YOOOOO GOLDEN FREDDY?! DANG HE LOOKS DIFFERENT."

I also wanna point out that I think it's neat how when he dropped off Abby and she looks behind her once at the entrance it reveals Golden Freddy is gone since he's always been one of the most ghostly animatronics.

And then shit goes down on a rescue mission for Abby...

Mike spilling the water to taser them was genius! For a moment I thought he was gonna get them to slip and fall first but hey. End result was the same. Then he saves Abby from Chica but UH OH they forgot about the cupcake! And to be fair, so did we. Although around that point I was like "I swear there's an animatronic I'm forgetting about..." which turned out to be Foxy which was a very "OH SHIT" moment since Foxy is by far the most lethal of the animatronics considering not only does he have a hook but he can run.

Then there's confrontation with William Afton!!! Man that was so cool!!!!!

Another "OH SHIT" moment was when he stabbed Vanessa/his own daughter. I was thinking to myself that "well she might survive!!! maybe!!!!!???" and then of course it's revealed later that she did survive but is in coma...

But anyways, back to the showdown, I loved how absolutely insane Afton was. It shocked me when he made the animatronics do what he wanted considering that he killed them but then it turns out he was manipulating them!!! D: Then it was Abby and her art skills to the rescue!

I thought it was dumb how instead of Afton being like "What, noooo, i didn't do that!" he was like "I CREATED YOU SO YOU OBEY ME." which of course didn't work out. And even if he had gone with playing dumb I think they still would've fucked Afton up anyways cuz it's clear they love and trust Abby. Then the animatronics attack and I'm sitting there going "SPRINGLOCK FAILURE, SPRINGLOCK FAILURE" and then right after that woopsie doopsie springlock failure screwed ye and I yelled "SPRINGLOCK FAILURE!!!!!!!!!" while still trying to somewhat use my inside voice. And then he started convulsing and bleeding and I'm like "FNAF 2 REFERENCE LETS GOOOO" and then when they dragged him away I was "into a backroom mayhaps??" a few times in which it is a revealed that yup. He got dragged into a back room. Then it cut to black and I say in a deep voice "I ALWAYS COME BACK."

And as anybody is obligated to when they hear the infamous song, I sang along to the credits! I didn't get tripped up by the cutoff/end credits scene with the song because I had seen a video on Youtube not long ago about the end credits (tho i did skip the cutscene) and I was like "I HAVE to know if it's that one FNaF 1 song" in which it brought me unbridled joy to know it was used! :D

As a final bit, there's 2 references I wanted to talk about. The first is a potential reference in the movie and the second is a reference i made.

When Mike was in the back room and saw all the assholes who tried to sabotage him I saw a very specific animatronic among them- a dog. And immediately my mind went "SPARKY THE DOG HOAX REFERENCE?!?!"

For the second thing, when Mike and Vanessa were talking about stuff and mentioned how they can't go back in time I said aloud something along the lines "Maybe find a ball pit?" Then there was the moment Abby hid in a ball pit and I was like "OH SHIT A BALL PIT. WASN'T ACTUALLY EXPECTING TO SEE ONE" and while it wasn't magical and I was pretty sure it wouldn't be since it was near the end of the movie it was still amusing.

[rapha3liii]

What are your plans for Vanessa in your fic? Is she actually going to do anything or is she just a side character?

Heya!

Basically, those later chapter things r still in the works but yes Vanessa will actually be Vanny/contribute to the story.

(Spoilers below!!)

I want to include ideas from the scrapped emails (FNAF AR: special delivery) and Luis Cabrera will be in the pizzaplex! I don't want to include Afton/spring trap because i think that asshole should have stayed dead BUT the Afton virus/ Aftons 'virtual consciousness' does exist!! Gregory will be there too but that's planned for way later on when the pizzaplex most likely burns down (it's the best option for getting sun/moon out of the pizzaplex).

I know a lot of people like comfort fics where the whole overarching plot isn't there but i don't think sun/moons characterisation can happen properly without the Afton virus being involved and I'm really excited to write about Vanessa and give her the much deserved role she was robbed in the game.

Haven't decided how much personality/screen time I want to give the main 4 glamrocks because when the pizzaplex likely burns I don't want to have to go through writing the grief of basically 4 of ur friends dying so they may or may not be ur friends. IDK yet, this is early game stuff lol

Basically think of Solstice of Tomorrow as an alternate game universe in which Vanny actually gets the cool role she deserved and is influenced by a lot of theories I enjoyed/scrapped lore that never made it into the release! oh... and also its a slow burn between you + 2 funny jester robots :]

As always these r my fic ideas for my fic so pls don't rip them off lol

[yourdeepestfathoms]

just saw the teaser art for Security Breach Ruin and i swear to god if Vanessa isn’t in it—

[pika-ace]

I FINALLY SAW THE IN THE HEIGHTS MOVIE

HOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST WITNESSED MANNA FROM THE FUCKING GODS

My skin is clear, my children are fed, and my crops are thriving and I have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! Seriously, do not read if you want to see the movie, I want you to experience this emotional ride yourselves

- I don't really need to talk about the music because, as expected, it was top-notch. Everyone was great, great voices, god-tier dancing, just good shit all around

- Songs are cut and things are changed, but honestly, NOTHING was lost so there's no need to worry. For every story element they take away, they add SO MUCH MORE with the changes they made to make up for it. It's like ITH for the first time all over again :D

- First up, Usnavi. MY GOD ANTHONY RAMOS, I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON YOU FOR SO LONG! I never paid him any mind back in the day because his face was just plastered all over Lams stuff (UGGGGH) so seeing him doing his own thing SEPARATE from that? I WAS ONCE BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

- The whole beach story-telling thing was throwing me off the whole time. I remember how PETRIFIED everyone was when the trailers showed that, but I had faith that there was a point to it and I WAS RIGHT!! The SECOND Sonny pointed out that green crab he painted, it was like a slap in the face, and when Usnavi started his whole 'There goes my flight' part, my cousin and I silently fist pumped in pure joy

- Also, USNAVI👏AND👏VANESSA👏AS👏MARRIED👏BUSINESS👏PARTNERS👏FUCKING👏ALL👏MY👏YES (Why did none of us think of this before????)

- USNAVI AND VANESSA GETTING A CANONICAL DAUGHTER, FUCKING YES PLEASE, PUT THAT HAT ON HER HEAD

- Next, Nina. Just...OH her voice...so soft...so gentle...I could fall asleep to that shit...

- The extra details of her being discriminated against at Stanford, just...DAMN, that shit HURTED. Best Girl doesn't deserve that shit!!!

- And her deciding to go back after learned that Sonny wants to be like her but can't due to discrimination just...BEST GIRL

- Benny just...OOZED charm, man. It almost makes me sad that he and Nina didn't play as big a role in the movie as they did in the play compared to Usnavi and Vanessa. ALMOST.

- Speaking of, Vanessa got an expanded role, HELL TO THE FUCKING YES. (She got a last name change from Otilla Garcia to Morales, but hey, her last name was just a workshop thing anyway so it's JUST not-canon enough to make changing it acceptable)

- Vanessa being the one who decided on the mural thing and getting Pete and Sonny to help just...BEAUTIFUL. That's TRUE LOVE right there

- Lin as Piragua Guy and Chris Jackson as Mr. Softee; that was the funniest meta shit I've EVER seen.

- I?? Did not expect?? To come out of this LOVING Kevin Rosario??? Like, he was SO MUCH BETTER and less antagonistic??? And I LOVED IT??

- Seriously though, getting rid of his prejudice against Benny was THE MOST WELCOME CHANGE in this whole movie (to me at least). When those two were together in the dispatch during the Blackout and helping people, that was just *chef's kiss* That was the pseudo-father-son shit I have been CRAVING for those two!

- Blackout was much less scary and chaotic than we were led to believe in the stage play; a part of me was disappointed, but the way they made it with everyone taking it in stride made up for it. It was like 'Aw dammit, blackout! Welp, bust out the fireworks and the Bingo boards, we're gonna be in the dark for a while, you all know the drill.'

- Also, lights turning back on RIGHT after Carnival del Barrio? Nice touch 👌

- Pete was SO GOOD. Favorite scene:

Usnavi, with Sonny: You're out here; who's watching the store? *points to Pete who's booking it out of the store having stolen something*

Sonny: *runs after him* PETE NO, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!!!

- Age gap still seems a bit ambiguous between Sonny and Pete, so until confirmation is given, this pairing is staying EXPLICITLY in the stage version tag on Ao3 XD

- PETE PROVIDING VANESSA WITH INSPIRATIONAL MATERIALS, THAT IS A FACET OF FRIENDSHIP I NEVER KNEW I WANTED

- Also, appreciate Usnavi being MUCH less antagonistic towards Pete, just treating him as an annoying kid that enjoys getting a rise out of him rather than a vandal that's a bad influence who Usnavi WILL call the cops on if pushed.

- Daniela and Carla were REALLY awesome together and I'm DOWN for them being a couple, even though Hollywood STILL decided to be cowards about it with no on-screen kiss or mention that they were girlfriends (come on guys, it's 2021, stop hiding the gays!!)

- Abuela. ABUELAAAAAAAA. NEED I SAY MORE????

Usnavi: I wanna take you and Sonny to DR

Abuela: I'm not leaving without Sonny

Me: MY QUEEN, YEEEEES

- When I saw her lying down during Blackout and staring at Usnavi and Sonny and then started transitioning into Paciencia y Fe, my writer brain IMMEDIATELY began putting those metaphor pieces together and was like 'No...no no no no NO, don't you do this to me, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THIS TO ME-'

- Alabanza had me sobbing; no comment.

- The lotto money twist was SO GOOD??? Like, my cousin and I were VERY concerned when it wasn't brought up AT ALL, but then when it turns out she saved the ticket to give to Usnavi as a final gift after her death just...TEARS EVERYWHERE

- And last but not least...Sonny. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny SONNYYYYYYYYYYY! My son, my child, the light of my life, the stars in my sky, was given justice on this day!!!

- HE HAS A DAD!! IT'S A SHITTY DAD BUT HE HAS A PLACE TO LIVE!!! IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAD BEFORE AND I THANK BASED LMM FOR GIVING MY BOY THE BACKSTORY HE DESERVED!! (Fanfic writers, I expect MOUNTAINS of angst and hurt/comfort from you all with this new material!)

- RIP Smol Sonny, but that baby face of his MORE than made up for it :3c

- Usnavi WANTING to take Sonny to DR right off the bat, just...THANK YOU. That was DESPERATELY NEEDED and was even wrapped up early and neatly with Sonny saying to Usnavi 'Nah, I grew up here in NY, I have no memories of DR but YOU do, so if you wanna go, then go, I like it here.' and since he HAS A FUCKING HOME here, the worry for his well-being is GONE and it feels GOOD.

- Learning Sonny was undocumented was a PUNCH IN THE FUCKING HEART! My mind IMMEDIATELY reminded me when his dad asked Usnavi why he only paid Sonny in cash and the FACE HE MADE when Nina said that undocumented kids can't get in college just BABY NOOOOOOOOOO

- Usnavi. Using. The goddamn lotto money. TO GET SONNY DOCUMENTED. MY DE LA VEGA COUSIN LOVING HEART HAS FUCKING ASCENDED AND IS NEVER COMING BACK DOWN. DADNAVI SUPREMACY.

Do I have ANY gripes with this movie? Yes, I do.

THEY FUCKING KILLED CAMILA. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEST MOM GETTING THE DISNEY TREATMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:/

Other than that though, this movie is a 10/10, go see it. Right now. I mean it.

[charminglatina]

I’m done with Riverdale.

I gave Riverdale and the writers of this show so many chances to fix their shit. I gave them so many chances to write better storylines, to stop with the repetitive shit, to stop writing the same boring couples every single season, to stop with the character assassination, to stop with the fan service, to try different relationships and refreshing dynamics, to stop destroying characters/couples for the sake of other characters/couples, etc. And the show just continues to let me down over and over and over again. Last night’s episode was the worst episode in Riverdale history. Relationships were destroyed left and right, characters were assassinated and written out of character. Archie was completely OOC in last night’s episode. He was a complete fucking asshole and prick. Archie in no way looked like the hero and protagonist of Riverdale. He didn’t live up to the values, ideals and standards that he claims to have. Instead, he came off as an unsympathetic, emotionless, disgusting, cheating, fickle piece of garbage douchebag. Archie Andrews is no fucking hero and the writers completely destroyed his character within 45 minutes and a single episode. He is irredeemable from my point of view and his character is beyond repair at this point. There is nothing that can fix that mess of a character. His treatment of women in general is disgusting and misogynistic. The way he treated Betty in 5x08 was absolutely abhorrent, degrading and despicable. He acted like he had zero emotions or feelings for her and that he just used her for sex. He then dumps her and runs back to the same toxic relationship with Veronica. Even after seven years, Archie hasn’t changed or grown at all.He’s still the same stupid and immature punk that he was in high school. FUCK ARCHIE ANDREWS. He’s THE WORST main character, lead, and protagonist I’ve ever seen on any show. Not even Elena Gilbert from TVD or Lucas Scott from OTH is as horrible or badly written as he is. Archie is much more of a villain than a hero. There’s nothing that the writers can do to make Archie a good character again. His character is beyond reproach and they should be ashamed to have a piece of shit like Archie leading their show. Veronica is acting like a thirsty, desperate, trampy whore throwing herself at another man while she’s still married and the ink hasn’t even dried on her divorce papers. She has revealed herself to be an extremely controlling, domineering, conniving, money hungry and manipulative bitch. She is so fucking detestable and unlikeable. I can’t root for her character. I actually HATE Veronica now and I never thought I would say that. The writers completely butchered her character just as badly as Archie’s. It’s evident that after five seasons, the writers don’t know what the fuck to do with her character but have her be Hiram’s chew toy or having her constantly chasing after Archie like some pathetic desperate hussy. She’s become the worst character on the show and she has had zero character development. All of her storylines are the same: they either revolve around her father or around men in general. Veronica is a shallow character that lacks complexity and depth. She is nothing more than Hiram Lodge with lipstick and a skirt/dress. As someone who is Latina, Veronica is a horrible representation of Latina and hispanic women in media. Veronica Lodge is an absolute embarrassment to the Hispanic and Latinx community and I’m ashamed of her character at this point. She doesn’t represent me and I don’t want her kind of character to represent my community. RAS and the writers clearly hate Camila Mendes. I can’t say that Camila’s acting is helping matters either. Betty is an emotionally unstable, whiny, pathetic doormat for Archie and a complete fucking emotional mess. She was nothing but a sex toy/booty call for Archie so that he could get his rocks off. As soon as the sex wore off, Archie and no problem with dumping her and throwing her away ;ike a dirty tissue. And Betty didn’t fight for herself. She didn’t fight for her feelings. She didn’t stand up to Archie for disrespecting her like that and using her. Archie used her for pleasure and than acted as if she were nothing to him. And Betty just fucking took it?? Why doesn't Betty just stand up for herself for once? Why doesn’t she stop being such a doormat for him and letting Archie stomp on her feelings all the time? Does she have no self respect? The one thing that makes Betty’s character somewhat salvageble is the fact that Lili Reinhart is an amazing fucking actress and for that, you can’t help but feel sympathy for her even if she’s being written as a pathetic doormat and Archie’s sex toy. Chad is a narcissistic, abusive POS who is Hiram 2.0. What was the purpose of his character on the show? Just to cause some tension between Varchie? What a waste of an actor and character. Jughead is a pathetic drunk and a lazy bum with no purpose. His sole reason for existing is to get drunk every episode, get abducted by aliens and be saved by girls. The writers are ruining my fave character on the show. Kevin is a cheating piece of shit. He has no clue what monogamy is or what a real relationship stands for and means. He’s nothing more than a walking and talking negative gay stereotype. Reggie was completely destroyed this season. They had him turn on his friends and side with Hiram, the town bully. Reggie is a complete douche and any character development he had in the earlier seasons has vanished. The writers butchered his character horribly and it’s a shame because Charles Melton is a decent dude and actor who deserves a better storyline and material. Cheryl is a sociopath with no remorse for her horrible behaviour and she treats Toni like garbage. I don’t know how Toni can stand being with her or around her. She doesn’t give a shit who she hurts in the process as long as she is creating chaos for her own amusement. Cheryl is a horrible person and the fact that she has had no development for hasn’t changed makes things worse. Also, it’s evident that Madeleine Petsch (along with the rest of the cast, LBR), is completely phoning it in all season. Her acting is terrible and cringeworthy. At this point, Cheryl is so awful and toxic that I don't think I want her to be with Toni or for Choni to reunite in the future. Toni deserves better than this red haired creature. Toni is, once again and as usual, being sidelined. I expected this to happen sooner than later. I figured that Toni would be relegated to a support character once more or to go back to being Cheryl’s punching bag. Though Toni being sidelined isn’t really her fault or the writers fault because Vanessa is on maternity leave. As if the characters haven't been destroyed, the relationships have been slaughtered and decimated left and right. Choni is toxic as fuck. Barchie was made out to be nothing of substance but sex (plus the way they got together is sickening including the cheating and the FWB plot line which amounted to nothing in the end). Bughead is an awkward repetitive and annoying bore with no chemistry. Varchie is the worst couple on the show, toxic as hell with no chemistry and takes up too much screen time. Kangs was destroyed for absolutely no reason. The only couple that has potential to be something great and substantial is Jabitha but considering the writers track record, I expect them to ruin them for Bughead. It’s only a matter of time. Tick tock. ⏰ To top it all off, the storylines are absolutely fucking ridiculous this season. Archie with his stupid overblown hero complex trying to save Riverdale? BORING. Hiram being the same boring villain AGAIN and trying to take down the same group of teenagers he was harassing seven years ago? REPETITIVE. The Mothman/Aliens storyline? We’re dealing with fucking ALIENS??? Aliens of all things? What the actual fuck are the writers smoking?! Then there’s the whole Polly storyline which is boring and repetitive.. Try something different for fucks sake. I’m not gonna get into the whole TBK nonsense which also reeks of repetitive storytelling. There's way too many plot lines and storylines being told and it’s a jumbled, incoherent mess. There’s only so much nonsense that you can take before you finally snap and say enough is enough. I’m at that point. For me to cut something or someone out of my life for good, it’s got to be something or someone really horrible. Riverdale is one of those things. Riverdale has made my viewing and fandom experience absolutely fucking miserable. It’s caused me significant upset and emotional distress because of how attached I was to these characters and relationships. Now it seems like it was all a waste. What was the point? Why did I stick around to watch the characters and the relationships on this show get butchered? The writers don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They continue to be stuck in the same rut and a time jump hasn’t fixed that. I’M DONE. There’s no more chances. The show is dead to me as are the Riverdale cast and the writers. The show should just end this season. Season 6 should either be cancelled or shortened to 10 episodes. Stop wasting the audience’s time with this garbage.

[letterboxd]

Love Thy Neighbor.

With her nineteenth-century American romance, The World to Come—starring Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby—screening now, director Mona Fastvold talks to Ella Kemp about the need to create images, striving for ASMR storytelling, and just how much we owe Terrence Malick.

“We’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing… but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?” —Mona Fastvold

In the American Northeast in the nineteenth century, life for farmers’ wives is physical, lonely, subject to both the extremes of weather and their husbands’ moods. When Abigail (Katherine Waterston) and Tallie (Vanessa Kirby) become neighbors in The World To Come, their lives become infinitely more bearable.

What unfolds is a careful study of the ways affection and understanding can bloom in the most unlikely places. Based on Jim Shepard’s short story of the same name, Mona Fastvold’s desperately romantic film starts where Abigail’s diary also begins: with a new year, and new neighbors. Through lyrical voice-over and closely drawn scenes, Abigail tells of how, in the wake of unimaginable loss, her life is cracked wide open by the arrival of effervescent, free-spirited Tallie. She speaks of grief and exhaustion, but also of astonishment and joy.

Katherine Waterston as Abigail and Vanessa Kirby as Tallie in ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

It’s a story felt through whispers as much as kisses, framed by the blustery winds of the East-Coast frontier—and by the spectre of their husbands (Casey Affleck as the downcast Dyer, Christopher Abbott as the jealous, disturbing Finney) finding out about their new love. Fastvold gives each character just enough attention to let the relationships that matter most rise up all on their own. She does so with words, poetry that somehow feels alive, and with music—specifically, a stunningly passionate clarinet soundtrack.

The World to Come won the Queer Lion at Venice last August (where it miraculously had an in-person premiere), and won many more hearts at Sundance in January. It’s Fastvold’s second film as director, after 2014’s The Sleepwalker, which also starred Christopher Abbott, and was co-written by Fastvold’s partner (and Vox Lux director) Brady Corbet.

What did you feel when reading Jim’s story for the first time? Mona Fastvold: It was a home I wanted to move into. It was this feeling of thinking, ‘This belongs in my universe, and I belong in this universe.’ And I all of a sudden had a few images that I felt a very strong need to create. The first thing that I felt really compelled to do was creating this physical expression of joy after the first kiss. I had this image of Katherine in this wide shot, completely open and just exposed. And I was really compelled to shoot her in the snow by the grave as well.

I also wanted to frame her being tied to the house with a rope, working her way through the snowstorm. There was a lot of amazing text and maybe fewer images in the script, because it’s written by these two really wonderful writers and authors of novels, not so much screenplays. So it’s not a very technical screenplay, and there were a lot of things left to me to work out, which I enjoyed. But the foundation was this really good text.

Mona Fastvold on the set of ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Toni Salabasev

The text is so striking, in the way it’s so verbose but never feels stiff. How did you keep the words intact while bringing these emotions to life? I cast some really good actors, so that helps! Then when you’re working with this kind of text, it’s not really a text that you can improvise or play around as much, you really just need to honor it. For me it’s really about finding the movement that will support the beats of the text. I like the edit to be motivated by a gesture, something that says, “I want you to look at this”. I’m trying to make the rhythm more exciting. Ping-ponging back and forth is less exciting to me.

When rehearsing, we’d create movement either physically, or find changes through long pauses already in the text, and then upon finding those organic beats I’d figure out with my DP how we can stay in one take for as long as possible, until we find that moment which motivates a change. I never like there to be a camera movement just for there to be something cool visually. And there’s all this subtext in the text, all these messages Abigail and Tallie are trying to send to each other. When are you being direct? When are you being understood? When are you not?

Particularly in recent years, we’ve been fortunate to have a number of films that reframe period pieces about forbidden lesbian romances. Why do you think we keep coming back to this kind of story? A lot of people feel compelled to say these stories have always been there, and to claim that part of history. It’s not modern, it’s not a new thing, but it’s just that these stories have not been told much. Especially a love story that takes place among farmers. We know a little bit about upper-class stories from some literature, but not that much from that time period. So part of the appeal for me was to say: this is a part of history. Even though it’s not a story about Napoleon, this story about these two quiet, introverted women is still worth exploring. And we’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing. I’ve grown up watching these movies, but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?

Finney (Christopher Abbott) reads Tallie’s mail. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

You mention the husbands—I felt watching this film that it was set in a very different world to the likes of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which a lot of people loved precisely because of how few men were in the film. But here the husbands play a really important part within the story about these two women, helping to convey their frustration and limitations, without taking over. All characters in a story deserve equal counts of love and attention from the writers, directors and actors. It was incredibly important to portray the men with as much nuance as Abigail and Tallie. It makes for a more interesting story for them, that their relationships with their partners are complex—they’re not just these male archetypes who are terrible and awful. Dyer was an interesting character, in that he’s striving to understand even though he doesn’t quite. And he had different ambitions as well, but this is the situation he’s in, and he’s chosen a practical partner who he respects, and I guess loves and cares for. But they’re running a farm together, they’re business partners as well and depend on each other for survival. When he says “I’ll die without you” it’s quite literal, in a way. I wanted to break these characters open and make them more difficult to deal with, for themselves and for the women as well.

Your picture includes a beautiful, and really unexpected score by Daniel Blumberg—particularly in the use of the clarinet, which feels like its own kind of narrative. Can you talk me through the process of weaving that into the story? I brought in Daniel even when I was developing the script and working on casting early on. I kept listening to ‘Three Pieces for Solo Clarinet’ by Igor Stravinsky, and somehow the instrument felt really connected to Katherine’s voice-over. It was important that the voice-over was not slammed on top at the end. It’s there, I hope, to have a bit of an ASMR effect where you feel it draws you really close to Abigail in a hypnotic way. That you feel like you get this intimate experience of that character by having access to her life even if it doesn’t explain things too much.

So we wanted to have the score speaking to the voice-over, which we recorded long before we started shooting as well. We would play it on set and Daniel would come in and play music there. So constantly being in dialogue between the text being read and the music being played was an important part of the process.

It’s time for some Life in Film questions. What is your favorite ‘forbidden love’ story? A film I really love, which inspired The World to Come, is Olivia. It’s from 1951 and it’s directed by Jacqueline Audry, and it was one of the first lesbian on-screen kisses ever captured. It’s a great movie directed by a female director when that wasn’t so much of a thing. It was an important trailblazer for this film.

Marie-Claire Olivia and Simone Simon in Jacqueline Audry’s ‘Olivia’ (1951).

What’s your favourite “Dear Diary” movie, the one that best uses a confessional voice-over? Terrence Malick pretty much cornered that market with some beautiful, beautiful attempts at that. We definitely have to pay our respects! Particularly Days of Heaven is pretty amazing. The voice-over work there is extraordinary.

What is your go-to comfort movie? It’s funny because I was asked that a while ago and normally I would just be like, “Anything Nancy Meyers makes is just so lovely”. She makes these films that are just like candy. But during the pandemic, it’s just too hard to watch these cozy movies, because it just makes you feel depressed. So right now, the film I’ve watched the most in my lifetime is Eyes Wide Shut. I also find it to be a Christmas movie… If it’s on anywhere, I’ll always leave it on, or just watch a little piece of it.

What should Letterboxd members watch after The World to Come? First of all they should watch Olivia if they haven’t seen it, and then the other day I watched Martin Eden—it’s an incredible movie. So beautifully made.

What is the one film that first made you want to be a filmmaker? I grew up watching a lot of movies. My family are cinephiles and I’ve always loved films. I grew up on a steady diet of Ingmar Bergman’s films during my teenage years, and Tarkovsky too. Seeing those films made a really big impression me. But what really inspired me in many ways was seeing Claire Denis’ films. The way she approaches storytelling is so intuitive. It’s so exciting. That resonated with me, and later on I recognized some of that in Lucrecia Martel as well. I just love how she handles time and logic and character.

Related content

120 Lesbian Films to Watch Before Saying All Lesbian Cinema is the Same

Pride: A Chronological History of Queer Interest and LGBTQ+ Cinema

Films Directed by Women

Follow Bleecker Street on Letterboxd

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘The World to Come’ is currently in select US theaters, and will be available on demand from March 2, via Bleecker Street.

[selinakidreams]

Ship your moots!!!

👁y’all done it now, I was WAITING for this one OO I’m gonna spoil my moots SO bad ! I love you guys 👁

this is gonna be long I’m so sorry

@keishinslove - carter,,,, I love you and I love you w me mister keishin ukai- NOT just because that’s your ✨mans✨ but because I fuckin see it with my eyes. mister man is out here smoking a cig while he waits for you to get off of work. everyone is out here looking at him like “who dat b he’s sexy” and then you walk out and he drops the smoke on the floor, steps on it, and smiles as you make eye contact. You smile too, finally allowing exhaustion take over as you slump in the welcoming hug he pulls you into. He’s like, “I know baby, let’s go home and I can make us some ramen and tea.” The rest of the night is full of terribly sung songs, heavy MAKEOUT sessions (maybe more) and feathered touches along your skin. He’ll take good care of you (in every means) and that’s all I want for you <3

@alto-march-of-death al I ship you with tsukki- now let me tell you why. I see you with someone who’s very reserved with who they show their emotions to,, now because you deal with youngsters,,,,,,,,, that’s a lot of energy put towards you all at once. Tall blond dino dude will be there for you but in ways that make you feel special and the lack of energy he shows is almost calming to you. like like I just see on a day where zoom has been a bit too much and parents were DUMb- you slink over to your couch- after class is over- to find tsukki there, watching animal planet, and bam you plop down and curl up in his side- no words needed. His eyes don’t leave the screen but a long fingered hand lands on your thigh, his thumb doing that thing that makes butterflies flutter in your rib cage. It’s peaceful. Nice.

@kmorgzz ENERGY. POSITIVITY. COMPASSION. All things you and hinata share <3 OOOOOO KAR YOURE ALWAYS THE SWEETEST AND LET ME TELL YOU !!!! YOU DESERVE THAT SAME SWEETNESS. sorry I’m yelling but hear me out !!! You guys are always doing SOMETHING. he’s restless and you take on the energy he gives off. You guys tend to do stuff that you wanna do because whatever you want, he wants !! Normally, it’s outside (cause he’s the sun and he makes you feel like you’re on cloud nine !!) ; could be walks that lead into picnics or something super sweet!! Always wants to make sure you’re smiling !!!!!! ALWAYS. oh also he’s such a big himbo that he just—— yk what I’m gonna shut my trap just,, oh MAN he just loves you SO much and will never run out of ways to show you

@introloves Jax... FR fr I ship you and bokuto SO hard. like this man is and deserves sunshine— that is exactly what you are. TWO SUNSHINE BEINGS. I just SEE it. wholly. he’s just so open to everything and anything !!! Sometimes a bit.. daft... but you definitely talk him through things and he heavily appreciates that & everything you do for him. you know what,, y’all would soak in lavender baths together. Your back against his front, your eyes closed and body relaxed in the warm water; the sent of lavender following the steam that rises from the bath. He likes to play with your soft hair and whisper about how much he loves you and how you are one of the best people in his life. How did he ever get so lucky?

@novvabeam jackieeee,,, miss ma’am.. I ship you with daichi. lemme explain. This man is like a horse- not many can ride him but for those who do, it’s a lifelong partnership. Dude is so !! Into you it’s CRAZY. He is obsessed with how soft and kind you are one minute, and the next his head is spinning by how powerful and strong you can be. Mad respect™️. First date (idea suggested by you) was at this really cute local ice cream shop where you two bonded over how absolutely different your flavors were. I see it.

@pinkoushi ellen + Suga; clear as day. soft cuddles and every day fikas. very chaotic neutral energy but constant attention and praise is given. (Me trying not to make something based off my memories in Sweden but is gonna do it anyways) like I could see him being so excited to move to Sweden for the education system lowkey- but before he started the school year, you just wanted to take him around the country and visit all the “popular places” before settling down. Lots and lots of train rides. you would be sitting across from each other- you’re semi asleep, head pressed against the window and he’s just watching as the fleeting golden light hits you, making you all glowy. he feels so warm, so content.

@chaotickatts katts ;) I hear sakusa is calling your name. loud and clear. man puts up with NO bullshit and neither do you. Your communication skills are off the charts; calm cool, collected- that’s you two. But I also think that you add a lot more fun in his life- like he loves every second with you- he shows that he appreciates it in your guys’ shared love language, more often than not. And he adds this grounding element to your relationship that makes you feel capable of anything- and you make sure to tell him every day. I hc that people call you the parents of the group. Your guys’ bathroom is very clean, well organized, and used quite often. he loves seeing you in his jersey when you’re brushing your teeth, on your way to heading to bed, makes him feel all fuzzy,, a feeling that was quite foreign to him until you came along.

@spikesbimbo valentine... is that even a question- Aran. duh. Pretty lady, both of you are CRAZY for each other except he shows you in little ways (in public) that make your heart spin. You know those pictures of Vanessa hudgens and Austin butler?? the one where she’s twirling around and he’s just smiling? that’s the vibe I get in the relationship; you’re fun, loud, and outwardly fun while he’s just happy to be in your presence!! you make him laugh... a lot. It’s really refreshing to most of his friends. You and you’re cute goofy ass are just so important to him. I see it now- you guys are shopping at an outdoor mall, drinks in your hand and he’s carrying most of your guys’ purchases in one hand while the other is being swung by you. You’ve got big doe eyes as you look at every store, until you turn around, and flash him the biggest smile. “Want some? I’m almost out!” You’d say as you thrust him the drink. He’ll smile, a flash of pearly whites greeted you as he nodded and said a small “yeah,” before wrapping his lips around the straw.

@hajimeshon-ee menace, baby. it’s obviously gonna be iwa for you. big beefy to help you fight people who are being assholes. those same beefy arms that pull you in from behind- your back against his front. LOTS OF FUCKING FOREHEAD KISSES. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOURE POUTING TO HIM. sorry I don’t make the rules. He honestly thinks you’re the cutest thing, your fire matches his and sometimes actually stumps him to where he has no retorts. He likes to help you with your work sometimes, like when he sees it’s a bit too overwhelming for you, he’ll wordlessly sit down and take some of the papers that have been scattered across the table. Later you take the time to show him how grateful you are, wether it’s through a night where he gets to choose what both of you will watch or.. other things... he’ll appreciate every single second.

@kuroosusagichan meeeellll <3 business man kuroo is summoning you on his lap, he can’t focus unless you’re with him!! Oh GOD the dynamic Between you two makes me lightheaded!! Okay so idk is this is obvious but like dude has a size kink- not just sexually though. It’s like a cute AND sexy thing for him. Dude just loves how tiny and soft you are. But don’t get it twisted, he’s not completely fooled by your innocent act- you’re a clever little minx sometimes, but most of the time youre just the sweetest person. You’re like the angel that holds him back from being an asshole. He likes himself better when you’re around. Oh but he’ll also call you chibi-chan. Period. OH YEA! loves it when you show up to his place of work- no matter how swamped he is, he’ll always make time for his little sweetheart. You like to visit when you saw he was visibly stressed in the mornings, you bring him little things taht make him smile like his favorite iced tea or your a sweet lil cookie. He’ll make you stay with him for the rest of the day, doing your own separate things but also being in each other’s company relaxes the both of you.

@scorpiomoonslutt hey bitch, you needy lil whore <3 it’s gotta be Ushijima for me. Your size kink is just.................... thrown in his face and my god he’s living. You make him realize things he didn’t even think were possible- but anything is possible with you, apparently. The way his eyes go WIDE when he hears you SNAP at people. He had no idea that someone so small.. could shut someone up that fast... especially when it’s someone almost twice her size. He actually doesn’t even know how to react when the other person leaves, there’s wayyyy too many things going on in his head. He’s proud, impressed, turned on, curious, but most of all- speechless. He kinda... wants to see you do that again.

@dymphnasprose dymphna !! kyoutani!!! It just makes sense!! big angri boy needs parts on the head from a saint, such as yourself. He knows you’re not looking to fix him- which is why he allowed himself to open up to you. You love him just the way he is and it almost drove him a lil nuts. I could see the breaking point now- just before you two would get together. He would be yelling at you, screaming things like “how could you possibly like me ?” At first he wouldn’t let you get close to him but after several steps that never budged when he neared you, he gradually let you touch his heated skin. He was breathing heavy, trying to put together how someone so wonderful could be interested in someone who was so angry. I just feel that you would cup his face and whisper, “I like you because you’re you- it doesn’t matter who I am in comparison to you. I like you, taro.” There would be no need for gushy details, that alone opened a small part of his heart to love- throughout the years, the opening continued to grow and grow. He would be someone who just!! Loves you!!! And hates the rest of the world <3 idk I just love it jdbsjnd

[justusandlove]

Now that this part of the story is done and Vanity are (seemingly) over, I just want to say a few things about this storyline and last night's episodes in particular. This is just my opinion, I want to be clear about that, feel free to disagree 😊 (LONG POST!)

- Vanessa's absence

I always thought they would never go with a cheating plot for Vanity right now because Vanessa's absence would have erased the purpose of cheating storylines: reveal and aftermath for the couple. Emmerdale still decided to go for it and proved me right. The lack of Vanessa's pov is the true failure of this story. Not only it doesn't work without her but the emotional component of this plot was lacking because we never saw the couple's feelings, we never got to explore the aftermath on both sides, we never had a proper confrontation or break up moment post reveal.

Cheating storylines need both characters on screen.

- Weak writing/plot holes/characters being ooc

From a creative pov, this story is extremely forced and far fetched. The whole set up for the kiss with Charity thinking Vanessa had someone else ( only to say Vanessa wouldn't cheat on her two days later) and then thinking they were over makes no sense. The whole thing about the kiss "becoming" an affair makes no sense. Tracy being the one taking the photo requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. Charity not showing an ounce of remorse after kissing Mackenzie is a bit much even considering her state of mind in that moment. The story is imo unnecessarily dramatic and convulted.

- Charity

I'm gonna be honest here. I think there's very little to salvage of Charity's behaviour in this storyline even taking into consideration her personality and her past. I genuinely think Charity wouldn't have cheated on Vanessa but if we have to accept canon then her actions really hurt. It's not the kiss itself for me, it's the fact that she did it when Vanessa was battling cancer, the day after the adoption and didn't show any remorse, didn't have any intention to come clean until she was cornered. And the lying. Ugh, I hate the lying especially after their last break up.

I think Charity needs to learn to be on her own, to find happiness inside herself, in her relationship with the kids, through her personal and professional achievements before being able to be in a solid relationship. She needs to learn that she can live without Vanessa, without depending on anyone. Missing Vanessa is understandable but losing her mind like that, no. Love yourself Charity please 🥺

Having said that, I genuinely think she loves Johnny (and Vanessa obvs) and I hope she will have the chance to co-parent him, she's his mum after all 🥰

- Tracy

Oh Tracy.

First of all, I understand Tracy, i understand what she's going through, she's pregnant, she's about to lose Nate, Frank's dead and Vanessa isn't coming back because of Charity. So I understand her position, she's always been very protective of Vanessa and her relationship with Charity has been a rollercoaster to be fair. Lots of highs but some very bad lows too.

That said, after last night it's more than clear that Tracy played a MASSIVE role in Vanity's split. Her actions, her words, and her opinions have influenced the direction of the story in a very significant way. It's all for plot of course, Vanessa wasn't coming back anyway but like I said before, canon exists and Tracy did her part.

Her words to Charity come from a place of anger for sure but I think there's some truth in what she said. I think Tracy doesn't trust Charity completely (and probably never will) and we've seen her negative reactions before more than once. So I think she's in character but her reaction is obviously exaggerated.

- Noah

He's the person I feel sorry for the most in this story. He was happy, he loved Vanessa, he loved the little family unit they had. It took him quite a while to trust Vanessa because he was scared Charity would mess up and he'd end up losing someone he cared about again. And now, he's back to square one 😭😭😭 I really hope Vanessa will keep in contact with him and Sarah.

- Vanity

I don't know what to say about Vanity. We're in some sort of limbo where they're broken up for good but we didn't get any proper closure which feels weird and anticlimactic. Anyway, Vanity need to explore their issues before getting back together, whenever that will be. It's clear now that they both need to take responsibility for their mistakes and make an effort to do better, otherwise what's the point?

Also enough misery. Emmerdale has basically run Vanity into the ground, they've put them through drama after drama without time to breathe. The audience needs to be reminded of happy Vanity, a couple that was fun, solid, loving, sexy, a couple to root for.

I can't wait for Vanessa's return and I hope the show will give them the slowburn they need and deserve before they get back to us in all their glory 🥰

[princess-of-the-corner]

I never watched Winx as a kid, so I really hope I don't sound like an idiot for asking this. What exactly does the Netflix Winx series do wrong besides giving it the "dark and gritty" makeover?

So like. There are a lot of problems here and I’ll try to tackle them. I haven’t finished the reboot because I have difficulty getting through things I like, much less things I hate watch. But anyway, this gets long and is separated into parts. 

Let’s start with it’s issues on it’s own and not as an adaptation: 

It’s still pretty garbage. Not ‘the worst thing ever’. Interesting enough. But it does have problems. Some racist and homophobic and fatphobic writing. The characters range from ‘kind of a jerk’ to ‘straight up assholes who will cause physical harm for petty reasons’. The nicest one so far is Terra, but even she kinda snaps and strangles a guy with her plant powers. 

Now on to things it fails on as an adaptation!

First, the whitewashing!

Of the six main characters, 3/6 were poc-coded in the original cartoon(I say ‘coded’ because they’re not Humans from Earth but still). Aisha is black, Flora is Latina, and Musa is Chinese. 

Aisha is the only one who remains black. I’ve heard varying testimonies on Musa’s actor, but the ‘best’ I’ve heard is that she’s 1/4 Singaporean and white passing. I don’t have the authority to say if that’s in the clear or not so I’m leaving that to other fans. 

Flora gets the worst though. They cast a white woman to play her. Then backtracked and said ‘oh, this isn’t Flora. We replaced her with her white cousin Terra’. Yeah you can see the problem there. 

Characters they got rid of entirely! I’ll only discuss characters that showed up in the first two seasons of the original show since Fate only has one season. (I’d say just the first, but they included Aisha who is from Season 2). 

Let’s see. They got rid of Tecna, one of the main six girls. It’s likely because they’re going for a more ‘bootleg Hogwarts’ vibe, and Tecna’s magic being heavily technology based ruins that. So she’s just tossed altogether. 

The boys! Oh my god my boys! Sky and Riven are the only ones who were kept in, while Brandon, Timmy and Helia got scrapped and replaced as well. The other boys like Dane and Sam? Totally could’ve just given them those names and been done with it. 

Then there’s Icy, Darcy and Stormy! I’m counting them together because that’s exactly what Fate did! The three Witches are villains in the series, and instead of keeping a trio, they combined her into a single character. Beatrix. 

I think Silva was also an amalgamation of the remaining Headmaster/Headmistresses and a few other staff members but considering they condensed it to just one school it kind of makes sense. 

Sometimes there’s just a name change like the Headmistress of Alfea was changed to Farah Dowling instead of Faragonda which is so pointless. 

Overall there’s other minor characters that don’t show up, like the rest of the school staff, Mirta and Lucy, so on and so forth. But I’m less upset about that. Still upset though because I love them. 

Personality changes! And romance drama!

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. 

I already mentioned how they made everyone an asshole in this reboot. In the original show, the only protagonist that was consistently a jerk was Riven, but he was more of the ‘grumpy but still a good guy’ type of asshole. 

Let’s compare just one character and her relationships to others!

Stella in the Original Cartoon: Preppy and sometimes a little vain, could be blunt to the point of insulting, but never malicious. Very sweet and loves her friends. She and Bloom are best friends, Stella having been the one to bring Bloom into the world of Magix and will do everything she can to make sure she’s safe. Stella’s love interest is Brandon, who is bffs with Bloom’s love interest Sky. Stella and Brandon are very cheesy and cute together. They aren’t usually jealous, and can even make a competition out of ‘how many phone numbers can I get?’. 

Stella in Fate: Total bitch to all her roommates. She’s getting the common ‘my mom’s a bitch who puts pressure on me so I’m going to be a bitch’ thing that’s become popular now. Since Brandon was deleted, they put her in a love triangle with Bloom and Sky, Sky being Stella’s ex bf. And despite breaking up with him, Stella sees him just talking to Bloom and decides ‘Hm. Let’s prey on her insecurities that she doesn’t belong here, and manipulate her into leaving!’ Which includes walking through a forest where there was recently a man attacked and viscously killed by some kind of monster, so I’m putting it up to attempted murder. 

Yeah. Everyone’s kind of like that. It’s awful. 

Bloom’s backstory and parents!

Okay, this can kind of fall under both ‘personality changes’ and ‘plot changes’ but it deserves it’s own section. 

In the Original Cartoon, Bloom’s home kingdom was attacked and destroyed by villains searching for something called the Dragon Flame. Bloom was a baby with said power, so her older sister sent her to Earth, a world without Magic, where she would be safe and hidden. Mike and Vanessa find her and adopt her, loving her and raising her very well. They are good parents. Bloom learns she has powers when she meets Stella, and instinctively uses Magic to protect her. 

In Fate, the only thing really the same is that Bloom was sent to Earth. I’m a little unclear on why, but instead of giving her loving adoptive parents, they made her a Changeling with emotionally abusive parents! Let me elaborate a little: Instead of adopting Bloom of their own free will, Mike and Vanessa’s real child died in the hospital and was secretly replaced with Bloom. Her parents are also, as mentioned, emotionally abusive. So much so that Fate!Bloom’s powers first manifested by setting them on fire in the middle of the night.

Fun. Ain’t it? 

Now onto plot points!

Again, pretty much the only thing the same is ‘Bloom discovers she has Magic, goes to another Dimension to learn at a school called Alfea. Gets into adventures with her Roomates while trying to figure out where she’s really from’. 

The whole ‘Burned ones’ were.... not a thing at all. There wasn’t any kind of ‘barrier’ to keep out ‘dangerous creatures’ or anything. 

I’m not going to go over every single subplot but that was just. No. They were easily allowed to go outside the school. 

The whole vibe

This is a big thing to talk about. While the reboot went for ‘dark and gritty’ over the bright colors and sparkles, it also went for ‘bootleg Hogwarts’ instead of anything interesting. 

In the reboot, the merging of Magic and Technloogy is mostly like. ‘Yeah we go to school in this old ass castle and we don’t use guns in weaponry class, but we have smartphones and social media and Harry Potter!”. 

In the Original??? The whole world was very Magitech. It was a combination of Magic and Scifi! Kinda Steven Universe style actually. 

The transformations!!!

Look. LOOK. Winx Club is a Magical Girl show! They have those beautiful transformation sequences that last a solid minute or so of screen time. And they also have like. At least one new Transformation a Season, which comes with an ungodly amount of different cool outfits. 

The reboot? One transformation sequence. And while the effects are nice, Bloom doesn’t even get a new outfit. Just a few flames coming off her that look vaguely like wings. 

SPEAKING OF! They are Faeries!!!! But they don’t have wings????? What????

Look idgaf about your effects budget you could’ve made the cheesiest shit like the live action Sailor Moon stuff and fans would’ve loved it!

Bonus: The fact that they didn’t have to change anything to make it ‘Dark’!

So like. Netflix decided to take all the color out of it, and make it ‘dark’ by having the characters smoke and drink and have sex and say swears. 

But they.... really didn’t have to! The original cartoon was plenty dark, despite it’s colorful aesthetic! If you wanted to do a more serious reboot, you could have easily done it by focusing more on those aspects. 

Hell, there are many fans who have done it. I’m one. I know a couple others as well. 

anyway it’s 2:30 am and this is long af so I’ll leave it at that. 

[irandomblogfulb]

FATE: What happens when you get a bunch of middle aged white guys to adapt a cartoon for girls

Well, I just went through 6 hours of fate and I have a lot of opinions on it. Yeah, this is going to be long (slightly under 3k words) so putting it under read more and obvious spoilers.

PSA before delving right in:

1) Yes, I will be comparing to the original. Any comparisons are not through rose-tinted nostalgia glasses. There are parts here and there that I genuinely think were done better in the cartoon on a writing standpoint.

2) This is purely my opinion and overall negative. Don't like it? Don't read. I'm all up for discussion but I don't want another person crying to me about how I “ruined” their experience of the show.

3) If you like Fate then good for you. This isn’t me bashing people who like it. 

I've spit it up into sub sections just for my own convince.

1. The problem with the 'I'm not like other girls' trope

This pertains to the entire Bloom-Sky-Stella love triangle. I wasn't as pressed about it compared to other winxers (and I loved Stella's and Brandon's relationship on my rewatch). In fact, I was okay with it. But then I sat down and watched the show and there's a lot of underlying problems with the love triangle. Particularly pitting Bloom and Stella against each other for Sky's affection.

Now this part of the love triangle I already didn't like. Correct me if I'm wrong, since I dropped the OG Winx after season 5 but the Winx while they did have their conflicts and arguments, never fought over a boy. I really appreciated that from the cartoon so seeing that live action would fall into that trap – I was mildly annoyed at that. Then it hit me. It's Bloom and Stella.

The seemingly ordinary girl vs the pristine princess of Solaria. If the title didn't give it away, you should get the point by now. Others have already called it by now but the "I'm not like other girl's" trope in itself, while seemingly feminist is actually misogynist. Saying the more masculine type of girl is better than the feminine is inherently misogynist. Stella, the prime princess, girly and feminine, is villainized by the love triangle. Sky's and Stella's relationship is toxic and Stella's overt co-dependence and jealousy are already big fat red signs - but Sky's and Bloom's relationship is built on how she's "different". Bloom isn't like Stella, she's "real".

2. Am I supposed to like Riven?

As the title puts it, wtf am I supposed to feel about Riven. Is he supposed to be a good guy? Do I root for him? Is he morally ambiguous? Because holy shit compared to OG!Riven, this guy is diabolical and much much worse! OG!Riven is an asshole and he teams up with the trix but his arc was very simple and easy to understand. He joins the bad guys, distances himself from the good guys, the trix betray his ass, he self-reflects in the dungeon - escapes and redeems himself. Net!Riven is so bad to the point where you can't redeem him and the writers don't even try. Freddie Thorp is good in his role. (however, he definitely doesn't pass for a 17-year-old. He's 26 and it shows) and he actually makes the cringe dialogue work. But he's way too diabolical and downright predatory. The scene where he forces Dane to gulp down his spiked drink - it’s worse seeing it than reading it. That grossed me out more than the gore.

What makes it worse, nobody properly calls him out. Beatrix kinda does on his homophobia – “Homophobic bashing by GIF” - and Sky does chastise him, but they still tolerate him. It is kinda funny in a way Sky has a whole ass arc about how he's enabling Stella's problematic behaviour by still dating her after she blinded her friend but doesn't realize he's doing the same for Riven.

The only person that really puts her foot down with Riven is Terra and nobody takes her seriously about anything she says.

Everyone is very laissez-faire around him and that's not how you respond to your friend being problematic. (Hey, kinda like the other girls sans Aisha are with Bloom!) Everyone surrounding Riven is so disgusting and the notion of him supposedly being a good guy is very hard to buy into. His whole relationship with Dane has a section of it’s own because there’s just a lot to unpack.

3. Stella I am so sorry

I'm also in the majority hating how they've tarnished Stella. Basically, they turned her into the stereotypical rich bully with mommy issues.

I get that Stella has an abusive mom but that’s no excuse to be a total bitch to her roommates. And no, her roommates shouldn't accept her back with open arms. And she doesn't even redeem herself - the girls just accept her back after her mom pulls her from Alfea.

And this is also another issue with the writing were the characters suddenly just change their opinions on a whim. Suddenly Stella likes the winx, suddenly Terra misses Stella even though having that girl literally gives her anxiety. Suddenly Aisha's on Bloom's side in the end.

This isn't me simping for the cartoon out of nostalgia. I was mostly okay with the idea of Stella and Sky hooking up. But Looking at it from a creative standpoint - looking at the source material, and the many paths you can take this character, the best thing Brian Young and co. can think of for her was turning her into the stereotypical rich bully that we've seen time and time again? No deconstruction no meta take, it's played out exactly how you’d expect it.

Again, this isn't me simping for the show. Purely from a creative standpoint Stella was such a major let down. There's so much to the character and Brian Young took the easiest, saturated path.

4. That one scene with Bloom's parents

You know the one. Mike unhinges Bloom's bedroom doors and Vanessa cusses out and insults her child like a petty teen bully. Forgetting how utterly cringey that scene was, you can't have her mom go batshit insane on her child, then act like she's this loving parent that cares so deeply about her daughter. Screw that! Vanessa deserved those 3rd degree burns! She invaded her daughter's privacy. Bloom didn't even do anything wrong!

I can't buy into this narrative of Vanessa and Mike being loving parents when they do something like that. Seriously who thought that was okay?

5. Pity Parties for everyone.

I already discussed this in Stella’s section but I don’t like the “it’s okay for me be a shitty person because my life sucks :)” narrative Fate tries to pull. They did it with Stella, Bloom, Riven.

What I liked about the first season of Winx Club is Bloom’s arc and her character as a whole. Because while she went through shit, from the Trix, to finding out she was adopted, her existential crisis, not feeling like she belonged, losing the dragon flame, she went through a lot. She didn’t throw a pity party. She didn’t whine, bitch and complain. She allowed herself to feel upset, took it as it is and tried to make lemonade out of lemons. And I respect that.

Net!Bloom is agrevating. She does some dumb, reckless stuff but it’s excused because she’s the protagonist? She let the war criminal out, the school gets taken over by the bad guys because of Bloom. Faragonda fucking dies because she let the war criminal out! The burned ones attacked the school because she let the war criminal out!!! But no, Aisha’s villainized for calling Bloom out because Bloom’s existential crisis is more important then anything else.

Getting to Sky, he isn’t as bad as the others. He doesn’t become a shitty person because of his problems. (Though lowkey flirting with Bloom while he hooks up with Stella is uh not good.) But he does come across incredibly whiny. Because of the cringey dialogue and the unnecessary swearing  I can’t take his speech on opening up to Bloom seriously. I laughed throughout the whole thing and Bloom leaving his unconscious body there was the icing on the cake.

One of the few characters that deserved a pity party is Terra. She’s very much like OG!Bloom in a way. She is bullied by Dane and Riven, has body insecurities, anxiety, nobody listens to her and at most only tolerates her. Despite all the crap that is thrown her way she still reminds humble, kind, and respectful. And she is one of the few characters that deserves more support than what she got out of the season.

5. Bloom, Aisha, Tokenism and their awful relationship

I’m going to be upfront, their relationship sucks. The core of their dynamic is what Aisha can do for Bloom. It’s very one-sided. Bloom only goes to Aisha to help solve her problems, which Aisha gladly does – but when Aisha disagrees with Bloom or says something Bloom doesn’t like, Bloom suddenly goes off and Aisha’s made to be the bad guy. Even though she’s right? And Aisha has her own problems as well, shown to also struggle with her powers. But nope, that’s pushed to the back burner because Bloom needs help.

I am all for creative freedom. I can stomach Stella x actual Sky. I can stomach turning Stella into a rich mean girl. I can stomach the dark academia aesthetic but what Brian Young and co. did to Aisha is just plain racist. Screw the “it’s an adaptation” excuse. Turning this character who had a rich storyline and was a princess into a white girl’s magical negro who fixes all her problems is racist and by definition tokenism. And by whitewashing the other two characters of color, making Aisha the only poc in the group – that’s the worst thing you can do to her.

And frankly we need more black princesses on screen.

6. Dane and the homophobia of the show

Towards the show’s climax it’s revealed Dane is helping Beatrix because she accepts he’s “different”. Not only does this go back to my pity party rant but like bruh,

1)      Beatrix never really did anything for Dane? She hung out and smoked with him a bit, but that’s all. You’re telling me Terra wouldn’t accept Dane? Beatrix never helped him and he never really opened up to her about his struggles.

2)      Nobody else, not even background characters bully or harass Dane for being “different”. It’s only Riven, the guy he’s crushing on. The whole falling in love with the bad boy/abuser trope is bad in a hetero relationship and that still stands for a gay one. And I know damn well if Dane was a woman half of the shit Riven did to Dane wouldn’t slide.

It makes no sense for Dane to side with the bad guys when Riven’s the one bullying him and Beatrix is complacent in the bullying. Oh, and having your second black* character who’s also lgbt+/potentially questioning be a villain? Not good.

I’m all for gay and poly rep, but not like this. If Stella and Sky’s toxic relationship is going to be called out for what it is, why not Dane’s?

*Idk if Theo Graham is light-skinned black or biracial so I’ll just refer to him as black.

7. The plot

It’s very predictable. Personally, wasn’t fond of the ‘twist of a twist of a twist’ style of writing. The story tries to be nuanced and deep but it’s not. Common sense is treated like a big revelation. Not trusting the war criminal you barely know isn’t as big of a take that the writers try to make it out to be.

8.  Everything else

·       Beatrix is fine. No Icy but did like the gothic bookworm aesthetic.

·       Sam is just there to be Musa’s love interest and provide some dumb drama between Musa and Terra. I thought they’d go the Edward/Bella root – Musa’s drawn to Sam because she can’t sense his emotions for some reason. Nope, they just get together for the obligatory make out sessions. Don’t care much for the relationship or the character.

·       Since the powers are all elemental shouldn’t there be classes purely for an elemental? Classes purely for fire fairies, etc?

·       Musa’s powers are confusing. If she has no control over them and they are “always on”, shouldn’t her eyes constantly be glowing purple?  Very wishy washy. Sometimes they overwhelm her and other times she has complete control. Her character is just there for plot stuff.

·       Terra is one of the better characters but can’t enjoy her knowing about the whitewashing. Why can’t we have a plus sized character just exist and not have body issues?

·       Sky doesn’t feel like a prince. Characters treat him like his dad is a war hero and not the King of Eraklyon. There was a point where I thought I misheard and thought his dad was just a war hero and not a king.

·       Why try to justify Rosalind’s war crime if she’s going to be the big bad anyways?

·       The way the characters treat death/act around death is very weird. Musa and Terra see a pile of dead bodies and they’re unreasonable calm. Especially Bloom an “ordinary teenage girl from earth”, reacts very nonchalant when death and war crimes are brought up. Doesn’t help the show tries to push this “they’re kids fighting a war” narrative.

·       Can’t buy into the girls’ friendship. The Aisha/Bloom dynamic is centred on what Aisha can do for Bloom. Bloom only cares about herself and only goes to her friends to help with her problems. Most of Musa’s and Terra’s interaction centre around Sam. Stella didn’t care for the girls until her mom showed up and pulled a 180. The girls were quick to turn on Aisha when she sided with the adults.

·       I have no problem with technology existing but why do they have Instagram, Tiktok and Tumblr? The otherworld is a completely separated from Earth, why do they have the same technology?  

9. Brian Young, what do you mean by mature?

I grew up on the 4kids dub before transitioning to the Nick dub for season 4 and 5 then dropping the cartoon for good. So naturally on my rewatch of the cartoon I decided to go watch the RAI dub since I heard it’s more accurate and 4Kids are infamous for their horrid localisations straying too much to the source material. Upon finishing season 1 and currently watching season 2, a few things took me by surprise. For one, the cartoon is surprisingly dark. The schools are at war with the Trix and their army of Darkness, Sky almost dies in Season 2, Riven almost dies and the Trix thinks he suicided, it’s heavily implied in Season 2 Darkar murdered some of the pixies, the paedophilic undertones of Bloom and Avalon’s relationship, the list goes on.

When the interview with Brian Young came out, he said Fate would be a mature take on the cartoon. And I wondered, what did he meant by mature? Was he going to delve deeper into the darker aspects of the show, or did he mean he was going to have the girls swear and have sex? Watching Fate, I found my answer.

If you take out the gore, swearing, drug and alcohol usage from the live action, the maturity is on par with the RAI dub. The difference is in the presentation. This is what sucks about the mentality surrounding live action remakes. Because the OG!Winx was colourful with glittery transformations , was super girly and overall had a positive upbeat tone (not forgetting 2D animated) - it can’t be taken seriously. You have to strip all that, the colour, the kindness, the femininity in order to be deemed mature.

10. Wrapping up

I went into Fate expecting the worst and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were things I liked about it. The show looks pretty, and I did like what they were trying to do with Sky’s arc. The actors did what they could with the material. Freddie Thorp made the cringe dialogue work and Abigail Cowen proves she can carry a show as the lead.

Fate is your generic, YA, dark academia show. It follows all the tropes of the YA genre to a T. If that’s your niche, then you’ll love Fate and I’m not bashing anyone who liked it.

For me, as a creative, it doesn’t capitalise on the strengths of the source material. I’m not asking for Winx Club again, as I’ve reiterated, I’m all for creative freedom. But Brian Young, Iginio Straffi, whoever worked on this – they could’ve created something new, innovative, something that stood out from the hordes of other YA shows. They had good material in their hands! But what I got -  I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen it done better. That’s a major disappointment.

As a winx club fan, don’t bother watching this. It’s a very diluted version of the Winx. In trying to capture the interest of the adult fans who grew up with the franchise – Iginio showed how out of touch he is if he thinks this is what they wanted.

[alwaysupatnight]

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS: The Mandalorian and FDTD 💖💖💖

From Dusk Till Dawn

Top 5 favorite characters: Kate, Seth, Scott, Eddie, Vanessa

Other characters you like: Rafa, Ximena, Burt

Least favorite characters: Kisa, Sonja, Carlos, Sex Machine

Otps: sethkate only

Notps: kate/richie, seth/kisa

Favorite friendships: Richie & Scott lmfao

Favorite family: Kate & Scott

Favorite episodes: 1.04, 2.01, 2.02, 3.04, 3.07, 3.09, & 3.10

Favorite season/book/movie: overall I think s1 is probably the best but I like s3 the most

Favorite quotes: “You… be cool” and Kate threatening to bible-thump Richie’s ass back to Kansas XD

Best musical moment: maybe the old west theme that plays after Seth’s flying reload? lmfao

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: WHEN SETH RUNS TO CHURCH 🙌

When it really disappointed you: when they brought carlos back in s3… 😤

Saddest moment: when they killed kate. also when they killed Eddie

Most well done character death: SONJA. IT WAS WHAT SHE DESERVED

Favorite guest star: Tom Savini as Burt!!

Favorite cast member: MADIE

Character you wish was still alive: Uncle Eddie

One thing you hope really happens: an onscreen sethkate kiss lmfao

Most shocking twist: it’s been so long I can’t remember actually shocked me… lol Maybe Dakota shooting Richie?

When did you start watching/reading?: I first watched s1 in 2015 just a few months before s2 aired.

Best animal/creature: I guess the Xibalbans??

Favorite location: the RV lol & the Dew Drop Inn

Trope you wish they would stop using: killing off all the best characters for man pain

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: giving the “innocent” female character so much depth instead of her just being a one-note goody two shoes character. Kate does bad things too!! And she gets angry sometimes and lashes out!! I love that about her!!

Funniest moments: Seth and Richie’s bet in s3 XD any time Seth says “shut up, Richard”. Kate yelling at Richie. lmfao when Richie was so excited to get a one-way ticket to Xibalba 🤣

Couple you would like to see: sethkate obviously. But also I’d love to see Richie and Scott hanging out too. Also Richie/Dakota!!

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Salma Hayek!! That’d be amazing!!!

Favorite outfit: SETH’S JEANS AND HENLEY AND GLOVES!! also Kate’s Amaru outfit. THE RED BOOTS. I WANT THEM.

Favorite item: Kate’s cross, Seth’s jacket

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: nope

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: I wanna rob banks with Kate and the geckos!! XD

Most boring plotline: anything involving Kisa and Carlos or Richie tbh. I DON’T CAAAARE

Most laughably bad moment: Natalie as Amaru 🤣 I’M SORRY I CAN’T

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: KATE ROBBING BANKS AT THE END OF S3!!

Most layered character: KATE FUCKING FULLER. Seth too lol

Most one dimensional character: CARLOS

Scariest moment: ngl I was actually afraid for Seth’s life in that fight against Brasa in 3.09. Also when Kate gets kidnapped by the chanan in the temple

Grossest moment: any scene involving Tanner 🤮

Best looking male: SETH 🥵

Best looking female: KATE. IDC SHE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS. Also Monica and Vanessa were really pretty too

Who you’re crushing on (if any): SETH AND KATE. I LOVE THEM BOTH TO DEATH

Favorite cast moment: All of Madie’s on-set photos of DJ lmfao Also any time DJ fangirled over Madie at the panels and interviews XD

Favorite transportation: the camaro seth and Kate ride off into the sunset in at the end of s1. IT’S SETH’S DREAM CAR XD

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I think the motel scenes in s2 were really visually appealing to me with all the bright colors

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. TOO MANY TO LIST HERE.

Best promo: All of the cast posts on instagram and twitter and the live tweets during the shows. I also really enjoyed seeing the clips they’d release on twitter and youtube… I liked the one of Seth’s s3 line “reptile, regular jackass, I don’t really give a shit” with the fancy text XD Also Madie’s song “Monsters”!!

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I think it was the Mexican Honeymoon episodes. I don’t think I really shipped sethkate before that but they really made the whole show for me

The Mandalorian

Top 5 favorite characters: BABY, MANDO, Peli, Kuiil, & Greef Karga

Other characters you like: IG-11, Fennec Shand, Cobb Vanth

Least favorite characters: Qin & Xi’an

Otps: None

Notps: Mando/Cara. Just. No.

Favorite friendships: Din & Cobb Vanth

Favorite family: Din-Grogu-Kuiil!! Alternatively Din-Grogu-Peli lmfao

Favorite episodes: 1.02, 1.03, 2.01, 2.07 and maybe a couple others idk

Favorite season/book/movie: hmm maybe s1?

Favorite quotes: “I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold” & “I have spoken”

Best musical moment: the theme song!!

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: when mando rescued his son in ep3!!

When it really disappointed you: WHEN THEY KILLED KUIIL. AND IT HAPPENED OFF SCREEN TOO WTF 😤

Saddest moment: when Din’s ship got blown up right after the baby was kidnapped

Most well done character death: IG-11’s sacrifice

Favorite guest star: umm maybe Matt Lanter in s1? I didn’t actually watch Clone Wars tho :P

Favorite cast member: PEDRO

Character you wish was still alive: KUIIL

One thing you hope really happens: I guess it already happened? baby got to see Din’s face finally

Most shocking twist: how many times Din removed his helmet in s2 lmfao was not expecting that

When did you start watching/reading?: I started watching I think either the same day or the day after ep 1.03 came out lol

Best animal/creature: the blurrgs XD

Favorite location: Tatooine

Trope you wish they would stop using: the baby eating random shit. WATCH YOUR CHILD, MANDO FFS

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: I feel like this series is the most accessible to casual and non star wars fans? I’ve never really been into star wars anything that much ngl but this one I really enjoy. maybe because the creators actually really care about the content and it shows

Funniest moments: the stuff involving the Jawas in ep2 XD

Couple you would like to see: uhh I don’t ship anyone

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: I heard Sophie Thatcher might be joining in s3? IF NOT THAT’S WHAT I WANT OKAY. A PEDRO AND SOPHIE REUNION.

Favorite outfit: Mando’s suit? I mean c’mon!!

Favorite item: the beskar spear in s2

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: a baby!! my tiny green son!! The bigger one with the plastic head lol not the ugly plush

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: haha idk I never thought about it. being a bounty hunter would be cool though

Most boring plotline: that bounty hunter noob betraying mando, as if no one saw that coming

Most laughably bad moment: Gina’s acting lmfao

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: so it’s not really a flashback, but Grogu’s memories before meeting Mando

Most layered character: Din!! Just his whole journey through fatherhood and his struggles in s2 with figuring out how he can reconcile practicing his religion with his obligations to the things he cares about

Most one dimensional character: those bounty hunters in 1.06

Scariest moment: so maybe it’s not scary exactly, but when the baby was getting beat up by that asshole storm trooper. I was afraid he’d get hurt

Grossest moment: the scene with the space spiders

Best looking male: Cobb Vanth!!

Best looking female: Fennec!!

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Din of course

Favorite cast moment: anything involving Pedro. Maybe that one clip of him doing voice overs while holding a pillow and pretending it’s the baby XD

Favorite transportation: rip razor crest 😥

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): haha idk I guess whichever planet it is that mando takes the baby to contact more jedi

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: nothing I can think of…

Best promo: all the baby merch!! Also any interview with Pedro XD

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: ep3!!

[ratingtheframe]

Everything That Happened at the 2021 Golden Globes

The first two months of the year are finally over and as the days grow longer, we can start to see the early signs of spring. With spring comes summer and with summer comes an influx of movie releases, with the majority of films that were put on hold last year scheduled to be released in the following months in cinemas across the world. You know, cinemas, as in those big rooms where you pay to sit and watch movies from start to finish without pausing it? Gosh have I missed the pre movie adverts, comfy chairs and super wide screens. It's not the same at home and despite Netflix, HBO and Amazon Prime thriving, we shouldn’t set anything in stone when it comes to the quality and accessibility of film. 

Cinema is tradition whereas On Demand is convenience and usually choosing convenience over tradition does impact the quality of work being distributed. There are a bunch of films on streaming platforms that would be too inappropriate for cinemas, seeing as they lack a cinematic or dramatic feel to them to be good enough for a big screen. This allows mediocre to downright awful films to find an audience via streaming platforms. All well and good, seeing as these platforms are great exposure for upcoming filmmakers but at the same time it's a capitalistic system that puts views above the quality of content. It doesn’t matter if what you’re watching on Netflix is bad, they just want you to keep coming back for more. This can be said for mainstream cinema too, but to a lesser degree seeing as cinemas typically release around 68 movies per month, whereas Netflix has the ability to add up to 200 releases on their platform per month. It makes perfect sense that Netflix has the viewers that it does, as we can see that it releases almost twice the content of cinemas per month. For the avid cinephiles, this leaves us wanting a lot more as we’re only able to enjoy maybe one or two films a month from online streaming services, because the quality is so inconsistent. I hope that cinemas open soon so that I can relax knowing that the film I’ve paid money for will be of a good quality. 

Speaking of good quality films, Chloé Zhao, director of Nomadland (2021) became the second woman in the 78 year history of the Golden Globes to win an award for directing. This is an exceptional triumph and from the moment I saw Nomadland, I knew that it would have an incredible impact on awards circuits this year. Nomadland also won Best Picture, which proves something that up and coming filmmakers may need to start getting their heads around. People may not necessarily be gravitating towards cinema for a chance of escapism any more. I thoroughly believe those days are behind us, buried in the 70s and 80s with films that defied the laws of filmmaking and went to extreme lengths to serve us an entire universe that we couldn’t even comprehend. However, as the world grows more fragile and people start to realise the fragility of life, we want to connect with one another authentically and realistically. 

The way that film can do this is by showing our real selves on screen, showing our pain, redemption, emotions, fear, honesty, laughter, race, gender, humanity, darkest secrets and biggest dreams using the backdrop of cinema to sell us a story. People want films that are honest and are a reflection of humanity as well as the current society we’re living in. Not necessarily “a slice of life”, but a slice of humanity that we never see because it’s never impacted us directly, yet we still want to be made to feel like it has through film. That’s the key to success in any film, making the viewer feel like they’ve experienced something on screen even when they haven’t. If the film is too far away from our own psyche or humanity, we switch off, as we can no longer relate or even want to relate to something so obtuse and boring. Nomadland was the complete opposite to this theory, bringing us humanity in all its glory; its sadness and pure emotion that affects millions everyday, especially in such a time when loneliness is rife.

This is why Mank (2020) lost out. In a time where the world is in a sensitive disposition, Mank came as ineffective to the world of film. Though triumphant in it’s making, the film proves the fundamental foundation of film that Mank failed to do; have a good story. Mank just wasn’t the story people wanted or needed to see and one can appreciate a filmmaker’s efforts to make films but at the end of the day, the story is truly the only thing that’ll carry a film and if it's uninteresting and impersonal, people switch off. And they clearly did, seeing as Mank lost out to all SIX of its nominations. Less is more, I suppose, seeing as Nomadland won two out of four awards, including the top prize of Best Picture. David Fincher even took a shot every time he lost a category. Better luck next time.Other snubs included Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman (2021) starring Carey Mulligan ,which was released on VOD last month. The film was nominated for four prizes and I suppose the lack of release in cinemas worldwide or at a Film Festival meant the lack of hype for the film. Regina King’s One Night In Miami...failed to pick up a prize, having been nominated for three awards. King shouldn’t be too disheartened, seeing as her debut definitely got her the recognition she deserved.

Aaron Sorkin most notably won Best Screenplay for his amazing picture, The Trial of the Chicago 7. I had the fortune of catching this in cinemas and the musicality of this screenplay was unreal. An incredibly authentic, riveting and honest piece of work, I believe we can safely say that Aaron Sorkin is the greatest writer for cinema and TV in our day and age. Sorkin is used to being showered with accolades, from Primetime Emmys with The West Wing, to an Oscar with David Fincher’s The Social Network.

The late Chadwick Boseman was honoured in full glory, having won the award for Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture for his role as Levee in Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. An exceptional performance that reeks with Oscar success, Boseman is the first actor to be awarded the prize posthumously.

What’s also to be noted is the amount of British nominees and winners at this year’s ceremony. It seems like the American Film & TV market is wide open for Brits, seeing as Emma Corrin, Josh O'Connor, Daniel Kaluuya, Sacha Baron Cohen, Rosamund Pike, John Boyega and Anya Taylor Joy all won awards for acting. Helen Bonham Carter, Olivia Coleman, Vanessa Kirby, Riz Ahmed, Gary Oldman, Antony Hopkins, Dev Patel, James Corden, Hugh Grant, Jodie Comer, Lilly Collins and Nicolas Hoult all received nominations and were all born in the UK. The Crown in particular just seems to be getting more successful with each year and despite its controversy, the show has won Netflix 7 Golden Globes and 10 Emmys. What does this tell us about our actors and their ability in comparison to our friends overseas? Is it just a stroke of luck that the majority of actors who won this year are British or are we doing something different? Only time will tell as more British actors begin to be recognised for their flare over in the US.

If anything, we’ve learnt that The Golden Globes is for everyone. Anyone can win an award despite their background as long as those who control the awards ceremony are willing to give a variety of films a chance, not just ones directed by David Fincher. Nomadland is certainly an underdog for cinema, one that may not have done as well had other films been released last year. COVID-19 created space for this film to be seen and has truly been taken in as a work of art, proving that films of the same kind deserve to be seen in the up and coming future. British actors can and have made it big in Hollywood and it seems like American audiences welcome them with open arms. Sacha Baron’s Cohen’s humour in Borat Subsequent MovieFilm wasn’t unrequited, seeing as it won Best Musical / Comedy at this year’s award season, meaning every moment of that film (incriminating or not) WAS WORTH IT. Even though Regina King and Emerald Fennell lost out on their respective films, their work has been courageous and profound in helping to give space to women in the film industry. The fact that they were even nominated along with Chloé Zhao, was an achievement in itself and has women like me looking up to the success of these three women and realising that I could have the same shot. Mank came at the wrong time, and though good visually, it lacked a beating heart that the Golden Globes could identify with enough to give it at least one award. Soul was named Best Animation Feature Film of the year, also winning an award for music with a beautiful score by Atticus Ross, Trent Reznor and Jon Batiste. The Queen’s Gambit also reigned supreme, as Anya Taylor Joy won Best Actress for a performance in a mini series / tv film and the overall series won Best Television Mini Series / Television Film.

This has to be the best Golden Globes I’ve ever witnessed. Not only did it champion diversity in the film categories, British Actors and female directors, it actually gave consumers as well as judges, something that actually wanted, which was to see underdogs thrive in an environment that’s usually laid bare for the same characters. Let’s keep this up for the next ceremony !

ig @ratingtheframe

[artificialqueens]

When We Went From Friends to This, Chapter 2: Week 2 (Branjie) - Writworm42

A/N: Part 2 of Ortega’s very very very belated Christmas gift. Last chapter, a game of truth or dare disrupted new roommates Brooke and Vanessa’s budding friendship. This chapter, things return to normal and then some.

Thank you thank you thank you Holtz for beta-ing <3 <3 <3

Day 7

It’s 12:30 AM and Vanessa’s eyes are starting to fall closed, their fifth episode of The Bachelor that night still playing on Brooke’s screen, when Brooke’s voice jerks her back awake.

“Hey, V?”

“Mm?” Vanessa sits up a little, rubbing the clouds of almost-sleep from her eyes and stifling a yawn.

For her part, Brooke looks nervous, doubtful, back to her shy self as if it’s the first time they’re meeting all over again.

“So about that offer to talk…”

It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s coming next. Brooke clears her throat, looking down at the sheets underneath her, takes a deep breath in. Vanessa can’t help but feel a little sorry for her; she herself has been in this position before, with people she’s known far longer, and frankly? Even then, it had sucked. So who can blame Vanessa for inching her hand forward, laying it gently on top of Brooke’s and smiling when the blonde looks up in surprise?

“It’s okay.” Vanessa keeps her voice as soft as her touch, and even though she knows Brooke probably doesn’t believe her, at least the girl’s breathing seems to even out just a little. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“I just…”

Brooke pauses, squeezing her eyes shut, and that previous near-calm is thrown out the window as fast as it came. But this isn’t Vanessa’s first rodeo; she’s been there, and she’s been with plenty of other friends who have been there, too. Besides, this is all her fault, so listening and understanding is the least she can do right now.

“Were you trying to get me to call my ex so you could figure out if I’m gay?” Brooke finally chokes out, and Vanessa has to admit, being called out directly is a bit of a sock to the chest. She was expecting a confession, not a question, and it almost makes her feel guilty that Brooke seems to be giving her a chance to deny it, a trial before the sentence. It’s more than she deserves, really, but nonetheless, she’s grateful.

“It was just a joke, honestly, like I wasn’t–I didn’t–” Vanessa stops and forces herself to take in a deep breath, closing her eyes in turn before opening them again, her heart sinking when she sees how attentive, yet afraid Brooke’s face is. “If I had known it was such a sore spot, I wouldn’t have done it. Promise.”

She doesn’t really know what to expect in the moment that comes next. Hell, she doesn’t even know how she��d react, much less someone as closed off as Brooke can be. But what she does know is she certainly doesn’t expect Brooke to roll over, crashing down on her mattress and putting her hands over her face.

“Look…” Vanessa starts, but then Brooke cracks her fingers apart, peering at Vanessa through the space between them.

“What’s it like to have it all figured out?” Brooke brings her hands away, and it breaks Vanessa’s heart to see tears pricking at the corners of the girl’s eyes, her cheeks flushed with a faint red.

“Like… the whole pan thing, you mean?” Vanessa frowns, but Brooke says nothing, just rolls flat on her back and brings her hands to her face again.

“I didn’t mean to freak out.” Brooke’s voice is muffled when it finally comes out, swallowed by the way she’s pressing into herself. “Really. It just… I haven’t dated girls ye—well, at all. I’m not sure about a ‘yet,’ honestly.”

Vanessa knows the feeling; trying to weigh dating history against possibilities, doing math on what you’ve had divided by what you want, wondering where the other variables fit, if they do at all. It’s a sticky place, and one that Vanessa certainly wouldn’t want anyone seeing if she were still there.

“It’s not that I minded the question, it’s just… the fact that you asked it at all meant you saw through me. And like, I don’t even know for sure that there is something to see through. Or at least, what it is. What it means for me. Y’know?”

Vanessa nods, grunting in agreement, because she does. She remembers that too–the paranoia, the caught feeling of having everything to expose yeah nothing to show for it. She remembers the confusion, all the questions as to what she was allowed to feel and what it all meant; if it meant anything at all.

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. ‘’ Vanessa shakes her head, sighing deeply. '’ I should’ve known better. It’s none of my business, right? You would think I know that by now. '’

Brooke just shrugs, but then she squeezes Vanessa’s hand back, and a small bubble of hope rises in Vanessa’s chest.

“‘S’okay.” Brooke whispers quietly, a small smile showing on her face.

They don’t say much else—To be honest, Vanessa doesn’t really remember what was said at all. What she does know is that around nine o’clock that morning, she wakes up tucked in snug in her own bed, Brooke just returning from their breakfast slot and tossing her a pre-packaged cheese Danish with a warm smile on her face.

Day 8

“Truth or dare?”

Vanessa’s head whips up at the question, her heart stopping in its tracks and all her breath leaving her lungs at once. “What?”

“Let’s try it again,” Brooke shrugs. “Truth or dare? And you gotta make last time up to me, so no cop-outs of the dares.” she winks.

“You—you want to play truth or dare again. With me. After all that.” Vanessa repeats slowly, the shock still not allowing the proposal to quite register in her brain.

Brooke rolls her eyes. “Yes, bitch, even after all that. I’m bored as shit, and the last time was a bust ‘cause I freaked out. So I want a chance to redo it, to make it right, y’know?”

Vanessa most certainly does not, a fact that must register in her face because Brooke huffs, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration.

“Look, we were getting along really well until this whole thing happened, right? So maybe if we do it again, we can get over it. Create a new memory. If we have a do-over, we get a chance to come full circle, and then we can just forget the whole thing.”

When she puts it that way, it actually does kind of make sense. Things had gone pretty much back to normal, so why not cement it for sure?

“Okay.” Vanessa nods, smiling a little. “I’ll pick dare.”

She just really hopes Brooke isn’t going to make her go anywhere naked or lick anything.

“I dare you to ask the dude at the front desk his name. And also for some weed.”

“That’s two things!”

“Well,  you can’t just walk up to someone and ask them for weed without asking their name first!” Brooke argues. “That’s so gauche.”

“Because asking someone we hardly know for illicit drugs isn’t gauche.” Vanessa snorts, but she’s already heaving herself up off her bed and grabbing her mask before beckoning Brooke towards the door.

When they get out to the front lobby, sure enough, stoned-guy is manning the front desk, this time wearing glasses that reflect a game of chess from the computer monitor in front of him.

“Oi!” Vanessa cruises easily up to the desk, stopping at the ‘ keep six feet!’ stickers on the floor as he looks up lazily and eyes her up and down.

“I don’t have cash on me, can I e-transfer?” He asks, and that’s how Vanessa knows she has an in for the dare.

“Actually, my roomie and I were thinking of another way of paying it off.” Vanessa grins, only to drop the expression and roll her eyes when the boy visibly recoils.

“My arsehole is worth more than a Marlboro.”

“Your arse—Oh my God.” She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs deeply, cursing Brooke inwardly as the blonde cracks up beside her. “ Weed , you idiot, we wanted you to spot us some weed, then we’d call it even!”

“Oh.” The guy says blankly. “Sure, yeah. Room 96, right? I’ll text my mate to bring some squares for you, just listen for the knock and he’ll leave it outside your door.”

“Sure.” Vanessa rolls her eyes, grabbing a still-cackling Brooke by the wrist and dragging her away.

“You happy now?” She grumbles as they get back into their room, collapsing on their respective beds, but Brooke just smirks smugly, shaking her head.

“You didn’t ask his name.” Brooke grins, only to squeal when Vanessa nails her with a pillow in response. “Sore loser.” She sticks out her tongue, and this time, Vanessa laughs.

“Whatever. Your turn—truth or dare?”

Day 9

Vanessa is awoken by the feeling of something poking her face, once, twice, three times, followed by Brooke’s voice.

“Vanessa? Vanjie? Vanj?”

“Stop—hey, stop that!” Vanessa’s eyes snap open, and she shields her face before another poke can land on her cheek.

“Sorry.” Brooke drops her hand, a guilty, sheepish look on her face as Vanessa yawns, sitting up and stretching before turning to look up at Brooke.

“What time is it?” Vanessa frowns, rubbing her eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. “And what’s so urgent, anyway?”

“Nine forty-five.” Brooke sighs, “And the syllabi are all up.”

“Like the ones for our classes?” Vanessa tries to clarify. “Where? Since when?”

She doesn’t really see what all the fuss is, but that doesn’t change how Brooke looks like she’s going to explode any minute.

“Our portal, and since nine this morning. They sent us a note about it in our school emails at nine forty-three.”

Vanessa stares at Brooke blankly for a moment, the full weight of that information failing to sink in because of one glaring detail. “You been checking your school emails?”

Brooke’s mouth drops open, the blonde looking at Vanessa like she’s just slapped her clean across the face. “You haven’t been checking your school emails?”

“School ain’t started yet!” Vanessa protests. So she has a sense of school-life balance; sue her. She still doesn’t get what all the fuss is about. They’re dance majors, after all. What can the syllabi possibly hold, choreography? Bun-tying instructions? She’s sure whatever’s in those things, they’re not as heavy or scary as Brooke is making them out to be.

“I’m afraid to look, Vanj. I’m afraid to look.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll look so you don’t have to.” Vanessa waves away the anxious edge in Brooke’s voice. “Hand over your laptop, let’s see, what’s our first course…”

She almost drops the computer when she sees Anatomy 100 on the screen. Oh, God. She’d completely forgotten that anatomy was one of the program requirements. And looking through the syllabus, the dread sinking into her chest only gets heavier, more urgent, as she looks up at the page count.

Fifty. The syllabus alone for one course is fifty pages.

“The lab manual’s another eighty-seven.” Brooke frets behind Vanessa, who suddenly feels like she can’t breathe.

“Are we supposed to read this before Monday?” Vanessa starts to scroll through the document quickly, watching words and diagrams speed by as if they’re little more than streaks on a screen.

“No, anatomy’s on Wednesday. We’re supposed to read intro to music theory’s syllabus and complete the first chapter of coursework by Monday.”

“ Fuck.” Vanessa whistles. They really are in uni now. Guess she should’ve taken those horror stories about workload more seriously.

But hey–they’re only on day nine of their quarantine, and there’s twenty-four hours in a day. That’s like…well, Vanessa’s not sure how many hours exactly that amounts to, but it’s probably in the hundreds. And when she thinks about it like that? Suddenly, all that paper doesn’t seem so scary.

Unfortunately, Brooke doesn’t seem to see it in quite the same way.

“We only have five days, Ness. Five days. That’s only a hundred and twenty hours, and that’s before you subtract time for eating and sleeping and pooping and peeing and showering—“

“Brooke—”

“—and also personal time, God, who am I kidding, we won’t have time for personal time, might as well get used to it—”

“ Brooke—”

“—we’re gonna be dead by October, Ness. Dead. I just know it. If this is what it’s like before school begins, then we’ll be cooked within a month—”

“BROOKE!”

Brooke stops spiralling to look at Vanessa in shock, her mouth hanging open as if it’s still waiting to push more words out. Unfortunately, Vanessa doesn’t really allow that to happen; instead, she walks towards Brooke, grabs her hands and gives them a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s just reading.” Vanessa says slowly, watching Brooke’s face to make sure she’s getting the message. “I’ve seen you read—you’re pretty fast. And we haven’t even looked at the music book yet; for all we know, the first chapter is just some easy-peasy intro about how to read music. You know how to do that, right?”

“Yeah.” Brooke’s face smooths out as she sighs. “Yeah, I know how to do that.”

“We got plenty of time.” Vanessa states, and blessedly, Brooke nods.

“Plenty of time.” She smiles, and suddenly, somehow, things feel different.

Because Vanessa is holding Brooke’s hands and they’re soft and warm and their grip is firm, and Brooke’s smile is gentle and comfortable and God, was it always that pretty? And Brooke is thanking Vanessa, calling her that name again, the one she hasn’t  really been called before but can’t help but like.

Ness.  

It feels special, somehow. This feels special.

But just like that, it’s gone, and they’re both blushing, and their hands fall away.

“So, wanna read? We can do it in blocks of ten pages.” Vanessa suggests, suddenly desperate to fill the air again.

As for Brooke, she has an unreadable expression in her eyes, and Vanessa dreads what that might mean as much as she has hopes for it. She’s got to do better at putting that shit out of her mind.

“Yeah, let’s.” Brooke finally says, grabbing her computer again, “C’mon, I’ll put music on for us while we look.”

Day 10  

Vanessa wakes up gasping and disoriented, head spinning, thoughts flying, and hands down her pajama pants. She looks over at Brooke, still sleeping soundly, and lets out a shaky breath, trying to keep it silent as she can.

Just a second ago, Brooke was in Vanessa’s head, licking and touching and kissing her in a way that felt too real. Making Vanessa ache too much, want her in a way that Vanessa can feel even now that she’s awake. And that can’t happen. It just can’t.

She eases herself up, heart still pounding and head still spinning, trying her best to ignore the feeling in her belly, the one she’s refusing to acknowledge or name. It’s fine; it’s fine. It was just a one-off, a random coincidence. She hasn’t had privacy in ten days; it’s no wonder that she’s dreaming about the only person she’s been seeing. That’s all. Nothing more.

Casting a glance at the clock, she lets out another sigh, relief lifting a weight from her chest. Eight-fifteen. Her shower slot.

She gets ready quickly, trying to stay as quiet as she can as she changes into her robe, dashes into the washroom to grab her shower caddy. If she hurries, Brooke won’t wake, and she can take care of this, wash it all away.

She’s halfway through the door when she hears Brooke stir.

“Ness?” Brooke croaks, shifting up on her elbows. “What time is it?”

“Eight-fifteen. Go back to sleep, you look like you need it.” Vanessa smiles queasily, then rushes out the door. She shouldn’t be feeling like this; her heart shouldn’t be going this fast, and she shouldn’t be feeling so guilty. So excited, somehow.

Think about someone else. Think about someone else. She hangs up her robe, shuts the shower curtain. Makes the water as cold as she can.

It doesn’t work.

Shawn Mendes is pretty hot. I can think about him instead. Her hands wander between her legs, and she forces the singer’s face into the front of her mind. Her breath hitches, and her legs clench, and then suddenly, he’s blonde, and his eyes are green, and his ass is amazing, and she can’t stop, she can’t stop, she’s gonna—

She tears her hand away from herself, but it’s too late. She’s already shaking, and everything else is falling away as her orgasm washes through her. Her other hand finds its way to the wall, and she braces against it as images of Brooke continue to swirl in her head until finally she’s come fully down, and she can open her eyes and finally clear her mind.

She turns off the water, leaves the shower as fast as she can, not caring that as far as showering, she feels much dirtier than when she came in.

This can’t be happening. She can’t have just come thinking of Brooke. She can’t.

Only she just did, and Brooke is in their room at the end of the hall, unaware.

Fuck.  

Day 11

As far as Vanessa is concerned, this is just a crush, so she makes sure she doesn’t let it show whatsoever. She talks normally, acts normally, refuses to acknowledge the way her heart beats so hard and how tough it is to breathe whenever she thinks about her slip up in the shower yesterday. She balls her hands into fists to keep them from shaking when Brooke walks by, and forces herself to look up to the ceiling when Brooke changes into her workout clothes. They stretch and exercise together like normal, chat like normal, watch The Bachelorette like normal.

But it’s not normal—because Vanessa can’t completely ignore what’s going on. When Brooke speaks, Vanessa can’t help but watch her lips and how they move. And when Brooke laughs, Vanessa can’t help but feel warm inside. And when Brooke’s shoulder brushes up against her, she can’t help but feel a shiver run down her spine. Worst of all, there’s something in her that feels as though Brooke is off, and Vanessa can’t really tell what it is. Delusion, probably. Paranoia or wishful thinking, depending what she guesses is going on in Brooke’s mind. But Brooke seems to be looking over at Vanessa a lot, and seems to blush a lot when she’s speaking, and seems to hover just a little closer to her when they’re sitting or laying or stretching next to each other.

It can’t mean anything, though. Brooke doesn’t even know if she’s actually queer; what are the chances that she’d fall for Vanessa, given that? At best, it’s some kind of cabin fever, and Vanessa’s not sure how she feels about that. Because on the one hand, she doesn’t just want to be a whim to Brooke. On the other hand, though, if her own whims don’t get met soon?

Honestly, she just might explode.

“I’m going for a run, wanna come?” Brooke gets up from her desk, stretching widely and yawning a little. It’s supposed to be their study time right now, a habit they’re establishing before the term actually starts so that they don’t fail to start it later. Of course, without the incentive of grades or falling behind right now, most of that time is spent goofing off anyway, but neither of them would admit to that. Especially not now, when Brooke doesn’t seem to know just how much mental space Vanessa knows she should be taking right now. So she just shakes her head, keeps up the facade of pretending to be reading even though they both know damn well she’s thinking about something else. Brooke doesn’t ask what it is, though, so Vanessa doesn’t feel a need to share.

The door is barely closed when Vanessa’s phone buzzes, and surprise, surprise, it’s a text from Silky.

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: how’s miss thing doing

Vanjie: Idk what ur talkin bout

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: yes u do

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: u gon make me say it

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: cause I will

Vanjie: don’t u dare

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: brookiepoo

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: brookalicious

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: booty-booty brooke

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: Brooke Lynn “shower thoughts” Hytes

Vanjie: that was ONE TIME

Vanjie: and she’s fine

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: yeah we know u think she’s fine I asked how she is

Vanjie: I s2g u askin for the block button bitch

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: nah u would miss me too much

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: seriously tho how u doing w the big crush

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: I know you, once you go horndog u never go back

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: you must be dying keeping it in

Vanjie: yeah well imma have to cause I’m living w her for the rest of the year

She closes her phone and tosses it, ignoring the way it lights up and buzzes every few seconds the minute she does. She’ll read Silky’s lecture later; right now, she needs to clear her mind.

It’s not an impossibility, really. The idea that Brooke might like her back. But Vanessa doesn’t really know her like that; sexuality aside, there’s so much more to it that Vanessa just can’t fit the pieces into. Like personality, and physique, and considerations of lifestyle and preferences for age and such. Plus, Silky’s right–Vanessa falls fast and hard, picking a person and clinging to them for dear life until life forces them apart. But that doesn’t mean Brooke is like that; if the way Brooke makes friends is any indication, then she’s most likely the opposite–she probably takes a long time to come out of her shell, let people in.

Then again, Vanessa broke through those guards in less than two weeks, so maybe she’s misjudging even that–she doesn’t know that Brooke isn’t someone else entirely under what she has discovered so far. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to find out, of course, but that’s beside the point–you can’t discover everything about a person if they don’t want you to. And at this point, she can’t be sure Brooke wants her to. Besides, it’s only been eleven days; there’s no such thing as unshakeable trust yet, even Vanessa isn’t that delusional. So how can Vanessa unshakably trust the feeling she has, however small, that there just might be something there with Brooke after all?

She lets her hand wander between her legs and shuts her eyes, resigned to the way the blonde pops up immediately in her head.

If she can’t forget about Brooke, she might as well try and get her out of her system.

Day 12

Vanessa can’t keep still, and from the way Brooke is continuing to tease her, it seems like the blonde doesn’t particularly want her to. Brooke’s mouth is relentless against Vanessa’s neck, her hands hungrily roaming the smaller girl’s body, pulling her closer to close the distance between their bodies. Not that there’s much of that to overcome in the first place—Brooke is straddling Vanessa’s lap and grinding against her, turning her chair away from the homework on her desk to focus on the way the blonde’s hips rut against hers and how her fingers are feather-light as they splay over Vanessa’s waist.

“I’ve wanted to do this since the day we met, you know that?” Vanessa’s surprised by the way her own voice sounds, how breathless she’s already become. But if Brooke notices, then she takes it in stride, using the opportunity to bring her hand from Vanessa’s waist to her chin, guide it up gently to bring her in for a kiss.

“Is it everything you’ve dreamed of?” Brooke traces over Vanessa’s collarbone until she reaches the buttons of her shirt, slowly beginning to undo each button one by one with a confident smirk. “Or do you need to see more?”

Vanessa opens her mouth to reply, but only a whine comes out as Brooke finally pushes her shirt open, smiles widely as she brings delicate hands to Vanessa’s chest.

“There, there, don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you now, okay?”

Vanessa gives a meek nod, then cranes up to meet Brooke’s lips for another kiss before–

“Ness, Ness, wake up, wake up!”

Vanessa’s eyes snap open suddenly to see Brooke bent down over her, shaking her shoulder.

“What–what time is it?” Vanessa frowns, still trying to get her bearings as she shifts herself up onto her elbows.

“2 AM. You were moaning in your sleep.”

Oh no. Vanessa feels her heart stop, a blush rising on her cheeks that she just hopes Brooke can’t see in the dark. If she was moaning in her sleep, then who knows what else she was doing? Fuck, if she said anything, Heaven forbid Brooke’s name…

There’s only one option: she has to cover this up, and fast.

“I was just having a nightmare.” Vanessa shrugs, suddenly acutely aware of how Brooke is looking at her, scanning her face intently as if she’s trying to find something in Vanessa’s expression. How close they are together, and how Brooke’s hand is still lingering on her shoulder.

Fall for it, fall for it, please fall for it…  

“No you weren’t.” Brooke keeps looking, keeps staring , and is it just Vanessa, or is she leaning in closer, her voice getting lower? “Those weren’t those kinds of moans.”

It’s all over. She’s done for. Brooke has called her bluff, and now Vanessa’s cornered, nowhere to escape but–

She gasps when suddenly, one hand on her shoulders becomes two, and then she’s being pulled forward, straight into Brooke. Her eyes flutter closed as their lips meet, and the kiss gets deeper, slower, as if they’re both trying to savour it as long as they can.

Brooke’s lips are dry from sleep, her tongue still tasting like toothpaste, but it doesn’t matter–because every time Vanessa nips at Brooke’s lower lip, runs her tongue over the area to soothe the bruises, the blonde’s breath hitches in her throat and she lets out the smallest gasp, a barely-audible whimper that Vanessa wants to hear again. And when Vanessa moves her hands to Brooke’s waist to pull her close, Brooke melts into the movement, her own grip on Vanessa’s shoulders loosening and light fingers tracing down the shorter girl’s back.

“I haven’t done this before.” Brooke pulls apart suddenly, breathless and blushing and looking more beautiful than Vanessa’s ever seen her.

“What, kiss?” Vanessa pulls Brooke in again, unwilling to let what’s happening go just yet, but Brooke just shakes her head, though not pulling away this time, rather leaning in close as if she can’t help herself but stay in Vanessa’s arms.

“You know what I mean.” Her hands move down to Vanessa’s ass with a tentative, yet hungry touch, and it’s almost enough to draw a moan from Vanessa right then and there. Instead, though, it’s Vanessa’s turn to separate them, cupping Brooke’s face tenderly and offering her a reassuring smile as she shakes her head.

“Neither have I.”

Brooke’s face relaxes instantly, eyes tender as they are excited, and Vanessa feels an anxiety she didn’t even know was weighing on her lift, too. They don’t talk anymore; they don’t have to. Brooke lets Vanessa pull her up onto her bed, lets her kneel over her and bend down to keep kissing her. She wastes no time in kissing down Brooke’s body, listening to every sigh and feeling for every squirm as she trails her mouth over the blonde’s neck, her collarbone, her chest, pushing the fabric of her shirt aside to give herself more room. Brooke’s skin smells like lilac and shea butter, and it marks up easy when Vanessa nips at it, just once, because she can’t help it–she can’t stop wanting to hear Brooke moan, can’t stop staring at the blooming bruise she left there.

“Lift your arms?” Vanessa taps at Brooke’s side, and she’s a little disappointed, she has to admit, when Brooke goes a step further and takes her shirt off herself, rather than letting Vanessa pull it off her body. Still, it’s a disappointment that’s short-lived, melting into awe when she finally looks up to see Brooke waiting for her, chewing her lip as if she’s waiting for Vanessa to say something.

“Wow.”

It’s all Vanessa can muster, because… wow. They’ve seen each other naked before, or, well, almost. They’ve changed in front of each other plenty of times, and there’s been the occasional accidental eyeful, but none of that ever felt like this before. Those times were casual, split-seconds, times where there were other things to focus on and each other’s bodies were the least interesting things going on.

Now, though, it’s different–there’s nothing else to think about, nothing else to do, and Vanessa has all the time in the world to look at every detail of Brooke’s body, laid out half-bare and waiting for her. And God, is Brooke beautiful; even as she clutches at her sides insecurely, goosebumps rising on her arms in the night’s chill, Vanessa can’t help but want to trail her hands down the curve of Brooke’s waist, cup her tits, kiss against the heat of the blush staining Brooke’s cheeks.

So she does.

“How come you’re still dressed?” Brooke pants out the words over the sounds of Vanessa’s sucking and nipping at her neck, not bothering to be gentle because who’ll see the hickeys, anyway? It doesn’t seem like Brooke minds, either; rather, she bucks her hips into Vanessa a little harder with every bite, little whimpers and gasps escaping her lips.

“Sorry.” Vanessa pulls away sheepishly, immediately missing the feeling of Brooke’s nails digging into her hips, pulling her closer. She’s about to start pulling off her shirt when Brooke grabs her wrist, shakes her head.

“I wanna do it.”

Vanessa arches a brow, a smile creeping onto her face before she can stop it. “Well, look who’s getting bold.”

“Shut up and c’mere.” Brooke rolls her eyes, but there’s a smile on her face too, one that Vanessa’s seen a thousand times but nonetheless has never looked as radiant as it does now.

Brooke takes her time undressing Vanessa, using each garment she removes as an opportunity to touch Vanessa in different places, explore her body and rile her up a little more with each graze of her fingers. It’s so effective that it’s actually kind of hard to believe Brooke hasn’t done this before; the way she’s touching Vanessa right now has the smaller woman melting, becoming putty in Brooke’s hands without even meaning to, but certainly not regretting it. Brooke’s hands reach down to Vanessa’s waist, then her hips, trace along the waistband of her pajama pants, and then…

“You can take them off, it’s okay.” Vanessa murmurs kindly against Brooke’s lips, but the blonde pulls away, her hands falling away from Vanessa’s body and leaving her feeling cold.

“I’m just…”

Vanessa stops Brooke’s hand in the air before she can move it to her ear.

“It’s okay.” She brings Brooke’s hands to her lips, kisses it gently. “We can stop if you want.”

There’s a pause, and Vanessa hardly thinks she can stand it–it feels like forever, and by the time Brooke seems ready to respond, Vanessa’s ready to explode from all the worry, dread, openness, and care mixing together and practically bursting out of her heart.

“I’m sorry.” Brooke’s voice is so small that it wipes any disappointment that Vanessa might have otherwise felt out of her mind. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Vanessa shakes her head, waving the explanation away before Brooke can put the look into her eyes into words.

Truth is, even though Vanessa wants to hear what’s going through Brooke’s mind more than anything, there’s also something in her that’s afraid of what the blonde has to say. Terrified, in fact. But it’s two in the morning, and Brooke looks like she’s going to cry, and right now, all Vanessa wants is to scoop her roommate up into her arms, hold her, and kiss her again before cuddling her to sleep.

So that’s exactly what she does, and thankfully, Brooke lets her.

Day 13

Brooke doesn’t make eye contact with Vanessa for the next day and a half, and it’s enough to kill her. Truth be told, she doesn’t even really get it–what could Brooke possibly be gaining, or protecting herself from, by avoiding Vanessa? Not that she really is, either–it’s a half-baked kind of avoidance, one that only someone who’s spent every waking (and non-waking) moment for the last thirteen days with you could catch.

Brooke and Vanessa get on fine; they chat, they study, they stretch, they watch reality TV. But Brooke’s laugh dies a second too early now, and she chews her lip almost constantly. She seems tense every time Vanessa’s shoulder bumps into hers. Something about the way she blushes when she catches herself getting over-excited is different–almost like instead of being self-conscious, she’s internally reprimanding herself. And worst of all, she just won’t fucking look Vanessa in the eyes.

“I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, guys.” Vanessa frets between gasps for air, her earbuds barely staying in her ears as she tries to keep up a good pace on her morning jog.

Silky and A’keria, her other best friend, listen intently on the other line, both of them making mmm noises as they think of how to respond.

“I don’t think you did anything wrong, honestly.” A’keria’s the first to jump in, voice level and thoughtful as she advises, “Gut feeling to me is the bitch got scared, that’s all.”

“Scared of what ?” Vanessa huffs, coming to a stop to catch her breath. She doesn’t know whether it’s the conversation, the run, or the mask that’s making it hard to breathe, but she feels like she might keel over before she has the chance to figure it out. “Of me?”

“Of vaginas, sounds like.” Silky snorts.

“Hey, you’re being unfair.” Vanessa scolds. “Don’t make me remind you how long you spent googling average penis size and worrying about whether it was gonna hurt the first time what’s-his-dick asked you to fuck last year.”

“This ain’t about me or Brad, may his cheating ass rest in pieces!” Silky objects, sniffing indignantly. “This is about Brooke. Seriously, you said she was questioning, right? So either she spooked because of the sex, or maybe…”

Silky doesn’t have to finish the sentence; none of them have to talk for the meaning of Silky’s unsaid words to be understood.

It could be that Brooke wasn’t ready to lose her virginity, that her original burst of courage had faded before she could follow through. Or it could be that Brooke had realized halfway through that maybe she didn’t want to lose her virginity to a girl.

Both are valid, Vanessa knows that in her mind. In her heart, though…

Thinking about that latter option really hurts.

“So she really hasn’t said anything to you about it?” A’keria breaks the silence finally, and Vanessa can’t say she’s not grateful for that.

“Not a word. It’s like she’s trying to pretend it didn’t happen at all.”

“Okay, so what did she say when you brought it up?” Vanessa can practically hear A’keria raising her eyebrows on the other line.

Jesus fuck. Vanessa hadn’t thought of that.

“Vanessa Isabela Vanjie Mateo, do you mean to tell me you’ve gotten all up in your feelings about this poor girl and you left it all on her over-thinking, introverted, anxiety-prone ass to make sense of?” A’keria sounds like a mom scolding a wayward daughter, equal parts disappointment and exasperation, and honestly, Vanessa can’t blame her.

“Well, when you put it like that …”

“Go jog your ass back to your dorm and talk to her, then you can tell us about it later.” Even Silky takes on A’keria’s matter-of-fact tone, and even though normally, Vanessa would bite back at that from her, this time, she just sighs, because her friends are right.

“Fine, I will, but if I get my heart broke, it’s on you bitches.” Vanessa huffs, only to be greeted with a snort from A’keria and a whoop from Silky.

“Go hash it out, drama queen. We’ll be waiting to hear how it goes down.”

With A’keria’s words replaying in her head, Vanessa heads back, her chest so tight and feet so suddenly heavy that jogging just isn’t a possibility anymore. Not that it matters–it’s so cloudy today that no one is around to see her walking like she’s headed to her own funeral, and even once rain flecks of rain start to dot the sidewalk and wet her clothes, she can’t help but feel like getting soaked is a better alternative to the conversation she’s about to have.

Unfortunately, Brooke seems to see things a little differently when Vanessa does finally slide back into their room looking like a drowned rat. It’s what she gets for taking the long route around campus in the middle of a downpour, she supposes, but to Brooke, the sheer amount of rain they get here is still a bit of a big deal–so maybe she shouldn’t be surprised when the blonde immediately jumps to fussing over her.

“Oh my God, you’re soaked ! C’mere, shit, let me get you a towel. No, hey! Take your shoes off, they’re all muddy.” Brooke rushes around, directing Vanessa before darting out of the room to grab a towel from the bathroom.

“There you go, that’s better.” Brooke musses up Vanessa’s hair as she rubs it dry, and Vanessa has to admit, it feels nice to be doted on again. Come to think of it, this is the most attention Brooke has paid to Vanessa in a day and a half, the most she’s said, the first time she’s looked her in the eyes…

Their eyes snap away from each others’ as they apparently realize what’s going on at the same time, the easy tenderness between them replaced once again by a pointed awkwardness that makes it hard to breathe. Right. Things aren’t that simple, and this moment can’t be that sweet, because there’s too much left unsaid, too much they’re avoiding. For now, at least.

“We need to talk about it, don’t we?” Brooke’s voice is quiet but resolute, because they both know that the question isn’t really a question at all. For a split second, though, Vanessa can’t help but wonder what would happen if she shook her head, told Brooke that actually, talking wouldn’t be necessary. That they could just put the issue to bed and let time smooth it over, for better or worse. But that’s not what she wants, she knows it deep down, so it’s time to rip the bandaid off.

“Yeah,” Vanessa sighs, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, we do.”

Brooke nods, biting down on her lip for a moment before letting out a sigh of her own and gesturing for Vanessa to come further inside their room. It’s a welcome invitation; especially after her run, all Vanessa wants to do is flop down on her bed, and given what’s about to happen, curling up and having something soft to burrow into definitely sounds appealing. Brooke, though, seems to have other ideas—before Vanessa can get to her bed, Brooke beats her to her own, then taps the mattress beside her, signaling for Vanessa to climb on.

“It’s okay,” Brooke offers kindly, “I wanna be close to you. If you want to, too.”

Vanessa hates that she wants to, but pushes her nerves aside and comes to sit next to Brooke, drawing up her knees to pull them close to her body. Brooke mirrors her position, and there’s that silence again, a stalemate as to who should go first. It’s unbearable for someone as talkative and as sure of herself as Vanessa, of course it is, but how could Brooke expect her to know where to start?

Luckily, once again, Brooke seems to have ideas of her own.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.” To Vanessa’s surprise, Brooke’s voice is steady, calm, a little bit matter-of-fact. “I didn’t really mean to, I just… I wanted to give us both space, you know?”

Vanessa doesn’t, not really, but she nods her head anyway, because she knows Brooke well enough by now to know the blonde will wind up explaining what she means, anyway. “It wasn’t just you, I didn’t exactly jump at the opportunity to say anything, either.”  

“That’s why I held back, yeah.” Brooke admits, “I figured we both needed space to calm down and think a little. I was kind of afraid of what you’d have to say, honestly.”

“Same here.” Vanessa gives a little laugh. “I thought maybe you were gonna say you decided you didn’t like me after all.”

“Like you, or like girls?” Brooke raises an eyebrow, and Vanessa curses inwardly. She deserves the callout, and she should have known Brooke would follow through with it, but she was hoping to avoid it. Still, it’s out in the air now, and there’s no going back.

“Both, I guess.”

“See, that’s why I stopped, though.” Brooke’s voice becomes a little more urgent, her eyes widening as she explains, “Because it’s not like that. It’s not. I… I like you, Vanessa. I like you a lot. And I wanted you so fucking bad. That’s what made it hard. ‘Cause like, it just all got so real, you know? I couldn’t handle that it was real. I needed time to process it.”

“I get it.” Vanessa nods, and this time, it’s true–because when she thinks about it, she remembers, and the feelings she went through just a year ago come crashing back into her mind. How confused she was. How liking girls was something she knew about herself, deep down, but only sort of. How she listened to songs about it over and over again, but it all seemed so abstract at the same time, a fantasy she wasn’t sure would ever actually be reality. How suddenly, it did, courtesy of the shy blonde in her English class and the shelter of the school library’s reference section. How plainly overwhelming that was, and how she skipped English class for a week after that, only to wind up back behind the same shelf in the library with her hands on the same girl’s waist again.

“So you didn’t just automatically know, either?” Brooke shuffles a little closer, and Vanessa lets her, the closing space between them suddenly just a little less intimidating.

“Nah.” This time, when Vanessa shakes her head, she can’t help but smile a little despite herself. “I was in your shoes too, and not even that long ago, honestly. I guess I just… forgot what it felt like to be there.”

“Well, now that you remember, how do you feel?” Brooke scootches closer again, sending butterflies loose in Vanessa’s stomach. Brooke is close enough to touch now, if Vanessa were brave enough to reach out, and her eyes are gaining intensity, yet somehow softness at the same time, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Looking at that, Vanessa knows exactly how she feels, and what she wants to do about it.

“Like I wanna kiss you again.” She breathes, scooting a little closer again.

“Are you sure?” Brooke wavers suddenly, licking her lips.

“Yeah.” Vanessa reaches out, resting a hand on Brooke’s shoulder at last, the closing of distance feeling relieving and terrifying all at once. “Yeah, I am.”

Brooke doesn’t protest, doesn’t talk again. She just brings her lips to Vanessa’s, and everything finally feels like it’ll be okay.

Day 14

Vanessa wakes up in Brooke’s bed again, snuggled up against the taller girl and nestled in her arms. The blonde snores softly as she continues to sleep, her eyes flickering behind a curtain of eyelashes every so often. It’s funny; they’ve spent countless hours during their quarantine laying on Brooke’s bed together, sometimes dozing off next to each other, and yet for all the times Vanessa’s glanced over at her roommate, let herself stare too long, she hadn’t realized there was so much about Brooke that she hadn’t noticed before. Like how the slightly-pink blush that’s always on her cheeks doesn’t disappear when she’s sleeping. How her mouth is parted just a little, with warm, soft breaths that tickle at Vanessa’s cheek. How in the emerging sunlight behind their curtains, the stray hairs tangled and resting against Brooke’s face are so fine, so golden that they become almost translucent before Vanessa’s very eyes.

She gives into temptation at that last detail, so transfixed that she doesn’t stop herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from Brooke’s face, tucking it gently behind her ear.

“Morning, sleepy-head.” Vanessa smiles as Brooke stirs at the feeling of fingers against her skin, eyes blinking open and smile tender as she returns the gesture, tracing a warm hand over Vanessa’s cheek and making the shorter woman melt into her touch.

“How long’ve you been awake?” Brooke’s voice is still hoarse with sleep, but she keeps her hand against Vanessa’s face, clearly content to continue stroking her as long as Vanessa keeps enjoying her touch. Vanessa shuffles a little closer, planting a chaste kiss on Brooke’s lips before burrowing into her chest again.

“Not long,” Vanessa shrugs as she shuffles a little closer, planting a chaste kiss on Brooke’s lips before burrowing into her chest again. “I just couldn’t resist waking you up, honestly.”

“Rude.” Brooke giggles, giving Vanessa a playful shove on the shoulder.

“What, you’d rather I just stared at you for an hour?” Vanessa teases, sticking her tongue out at Brooke, who rolls her eyes, but nonetheless brings her face down to meet Vanessa’s, answering the question by kissing the mockery off her mouth. They giggle together for a few more moments before settling back into a peaceful silence, watching each other as they enjoy the calm.

“This is nice.” Brooke finally sighs, pulling Vanessa flush against her and holding onto her tight. And Vanessa doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t need to; she only needs to kiss against Brooke’s collarbone, squeeze her back, to feel completely content.

The next time she opens her eyes, she’s still in Brooke’s arms and the blonde’s eyes are shut again, and they’ve definitely missed breakfast, but it doesn’t matter. Not when they’re like this, so comfortable, so content.

Of course, then her phone buzzes five times in quick succession from the other side of the room, and their little bubble is popped, Brooke’s eyes snapping open as Vanessa realizes with a jolt that she hasn’t checked her phone since yesterday.

She hops off of Brooke’s bed and is greeted by the notification of no less than twenty missed calls and seventy-five text messages–no, make that seventy-six, no, seventy-seven, seventy-eight…

Kiki without the kaikai: BITCH ARE U ALIVE

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: it’s been over 12 hours if they still shagging im done

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: either that or one or both have gone missing

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: VANJIE IF U CAN HEAR US SEND A SIGN

Kiki without the kaikai: ok so she’s dead

Dr Silk w the Good Milk: bitch if u really are dead can i have ur coach bag i got a date Fri night

Jesus Christ. Vanessa chuckles to herself, shaking her head as she types out a quick message to let her friends know she’s okay.

Vanjie: that bag cost me $300 it’s going in the casket with me

Another flurry of messages, and this time, Vanessa can’t just keep the laughter to herself, especially not when Brooke comes up behind her and peeks over her shoulder.

“‘Did you get any bru–Oh my God .” Brooke reads out loud, but she laughs too. “Your friends are something else.”

“You can say that again.” Vanessa snorts, staring at the word ‘brussy’ and wishing she could be surprised that A’keria actually wrote that, but not actually being shocked in the slightest. “I’m sorry you had to see that, by the way.”

Much to Vanessa’s surprise, this time, Brooke doesn’t blush or stammer, or even swipe a strand of hair behind her ear–she just laughs again, then pulls Vanessa close from behind, wrapping her up in her arms.

“I’m sure my friends are saying equally weird things about you now.” Brooke teases, giving Vanessa a quick kiss on the curve of her neck.

“You’re not gonna text them?” Vanessa raises an eyebrow, but her eyes quickly close and face smooths over when Brooke kisses her again, a little higher this time.

“Nah.” Brooke keeps travelling up Vanessa’s neck, until she’s finally kissing at Vanessa’s earlobe. “They can wait.”

Unfortunately, Vanessa can’t–she’s never been good at that, never good with her patience past a certain point. So instead, she turns around in Brooke’s arms, cranes up to grab her face and pull her in for a deep kiss.

“Good,” Vanessa murmurs when they separate, Brooke letting off a barely-audible whine of protest as she pulls away. “‘Cause we’ve got some unfinished business, don’t we?”

Vanessa trails a hand down Brooke’s side, splays her hands over the blonde’s waist as she plants a teasing kiss on her neck.

“Yeah,” Brooke breathes, swallowing hard, and the way she shivers under Vanessa’s touch, under her mouth makes more than Vanessa’s heart flutter. “We do.”

“Wanna take care of it?”

There’s a pause, and Vanessa realizes with a jolt what she’s doing, where they’re at. How two days ago Brooke was spooked out of her mind, and now Vanessa’s trying to get her to do exactly what made her overwhelmed in the first place. Thick, thick Vanessa, what a mistake to make, she’s probably freaked Brooke out again–

“Yeah,” Brooke repeats, grabbing at Vanessa’s hips roughly and pulling her close to keep her from pulling away. “Yeah, I do.”