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strawberryya · 8 months

Text

ghost in the machine

s.coups x reader

synopsis: Secrets can only be kept as secrets for so long, everyone knows this. Yet when 5.C0UP5 came in contact with someone he never should have even known existed this notion seemed as foreign as his own name. Perhaps there exists another way of life even for him, or maybe it was all a dream too big to dream of.

word count: 20k

genre/contains: sci-fi au, AI-idol au, automaton!seungcheol, angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, found family, afab and gn!reader, general smut warnings for oral and penetrative sex, nothing kinky except being eaten out while talking on the intercoms and some almost being caught moments, big fight

rating: 18+

a/n: this has taken a long time to finish, but it also turned out to be my longest fic to date and I'm a bit proud that i managed to actually complete what i had in mind :> thank you @idyllic-ghost for proof reading and for the banner !!

collab link to read the other amazing fics from @idyllic-ghosts genius collab!

Network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

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“100 years ago it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was, none of the planets in our former solar system were ever destroyed. The Earth, along with the other planets, were pushed away from each other and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight. However, the aliens were welcoming to our planet. Those of us who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens, were welcomed into the new solar system. Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister planets in exchange for human labor. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automaton, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t. Eventually, there was no need for human labor at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be. At the present time, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities. The Automaton music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN) is made up of 13 members, all very talented, and all representing two human states of mind.”

Pride. It was one side of 5.C0UP5 state of mind, and he felt it often. He felt it whenever he looked at his members, he felt it whenever he performed on stage in front of blinding lights and roaring crowds, and he felt it when he looked at you.

Yet, the other side of the coin of his pre-programmed personality was what crushed him every single day. Everything he took pride in having accomplished, was completely tarnished by a single thought about your lips on his skin. The shame was unbearable.

You had never been meant to get close to him, he was not supposed to be close to anyone. He knew this better than anyone. As the leader of 53V3NT33N he was the one to keep everyone in check. He was meant to set a good example and be the perfect level 1 automaton at all times. For years he kept his promise to everyone, he continued to avoid all things that could ruin his reputation and go against his lifelong contract which he had become bound to the moment he had been created. It hadn’t been easy, but he had taken pride in being the perfect and flawless leader for his members.

That guilty feeling in his gut came back once again as he left the dorm with his manager. “Lookin’ good,” he heard the voice of one of his members play in his ear. J30NGHΛN stood, next to some of his staff members across the lobby, curiously looking at 5.C0UP5. “Going somewhere fun today?” he said and pushed the communication device on his chest, letting 5.C0UP5 hear his every word.

“You’re too curious J30NGHΛN,” he said with a smile, “We’re just gonna get some pictures at a café for this week’s posts.” It was one of the few things he did a couple of times a year, even under the strict surveillance of his company and its staff. No matter what, he had to sell the fantasy of himself to millions of people all around the universe.

“Oh, I see… have fun,” J30NGHΛN said with a tone that made 5.C0UP5 feel his fingers, the chirping sound of his voice making him conscious of his own existence in a way he despised. the damn wink didn’t help. It was as if he knew something. Maybe everyone knew? 5.C0UP5 shook his head and began walking towards the exit along with his manager. He felt his members’ curious gaze following him as he left. Maybe the secrets were beginning to take their toll on his mind. He knew he was supposed to keep his emotions in check, the overpowering of one of his programmed human states of mind would be his demise. They had told him that much. Yet again, he told himself the same words he had spent so many days and nights telling himself. Nobody knows.

Luckily, the café that had been chosen for today was only a couple blocks away. The cold sweat that ran down his back went unnoticed by the staff accompanying him in the shuttle used by the members whenever they needed to go to filming locations and individual shoots.

“Let’s order some smaller stuff and get the shoot over with, we don’t have all day,” one of the managers announced, making 5.C0UP5 nod with a forced smile before he went back to looking out the window. His hand fell to his side, feeling the hard outline of his phone in his pocket.

Entrusted to him by the company, he had been allowed to have a small flip phone. It was ancient. They used to have them in the old world, but even by the start of “The Great Journey” the technology was seen as outdated. By the current standards, however, the phone he had been granted was not worth much more than the shoelace on his sneakers. To him though, it was priceless.

He was nervous now, his hands felt clammy, and his shoulders were tense as he walked into the café along with the staff members. One of them hurried off to the counter and placed your orders while 5.C0UP5 and two others made their way towards the corner table. The young couple currently sitting at the table were quickly removed by the staff members. It was routine, nothing more than a sentence informing the couple of why they needed to get up was given before they were chased off by the staff members threatening presence.

He would never get used to that, the way others were treated around him as he stood by, powerless to intervene. Every time he felt ashamed of being the reason the rest of the population had to accommodate whatever his company, his owners, deemed profitable. It didn’t matter if it was evacuating an entire city block to film a music video where the buildings crumbled around the members, or something as insignificant as taking over a table at a popular café. The guilt was always there.

The young couple hastily gathered their belongings and one of the waiters came over and cleaned up the table, apologies for the mess constantly pouring from their lips. Level 3 automatons could get fired for something like this, but at the same time, 5.C0UP5 couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy as he watched the worker get back to his place behind the counter. Maybe life would be better if he too was a lower-level automaton, he found himself thinking as he sat down and was served the beverage and piece of dessert that the staff had ordered for him. He would be freer in a way…

“5.C0UP5, let’s go.”

He picked up the drink in his hand, the cold from the iced drink bringing his mind away from his thoughts and back into reality where a staff member had just fixed the collar of his shirt and fixed his hair which had been ruffled by the wind. “Look over there,” the staff said as another one snapped hundreds of pictures as he moved around on his chair. The rehearsed smiles, the sip of the drink, and the way he leaned toward the camera all satisfied the staff it seemed. He was good at his job, and acting like a down-to-earth boyfriend at a café was just another part of his job.

What wasn’t part of his job, however, was when he felt a buzz in his pocket and without a second thought spilled half his drink across his thighs, the fabric covering his knees now the color of his drink. “Oh!” he shouted, “I’m sorry. I’ll go clean up real fast and we can continue like nothing happened, I’m so sorry, I’ll fix it!” he hurried to say before any of the staff members could even comprehend the situation he had just created. Hastily, 5.C0UP5 rose from the chair and left his staff confused and shocked at the table. “Fuck- someone go watch the door, no one else can be in there at the same time he is.” he heard them say behind his back as he hurried off towards the door to the bathroom.

There were multiple doors inside the bathroom, each leading to a small bathroom. He didn’t know where to go, he didn’t know where he was supposed to be. He didn’t need to look very far because as he approached the second door to the right it opened for only a moment and a hand pulled him forcefully through the opening. “Finally,” a person said with a smile before they kissed him passionately in the low light of the lightbulb attached to the dark mosaic tiles above the sink. 5.C0UP5 entire body heated up from within as his lips pressed against those familiar soft lips he knew belonged to you.

He had dreamed of those very lips every night since he first got to kiss them all those months ago. “Hi,” he whispered and let the corners of his mouth turn up in the most genuine smile he had had all day.

“Hi…” you answered and giggled softly, feeling his warm hands on your cheeks as he held you and kissed you once again, softly and as if to make you feel how much he had missed you as he held your lips locked against his.

“Are you meeting up with that secret fuck buddy of yours?” Lana joked as you scrambled to grab your phone and keys on your way out for lunch break.

The office supply store was empty at this hour, and you had thirty minutes until you had to be back again; the perfect amount of time for a quick meetup with Cheol. You had to be back in time to release Lana, your co-worker, and close friend, from her shift and let her take her own lunch break since your boss had deemed it necessary to have the store manned at all hours of the day.

Or, well, 5.C0UP5 if you were fussy about things like that. That was his real name, his legal name. To you, however, he was Seungcheol. It had been months since you had called the wrong number in your hurry to order a pizza after work, starving and sleep-deprived as you were at the time you hadn’t been looking too closely at the numbers you were putting into the keypad on your phone. Luckily for you, the craving for pizza that night had led you to discover something new that you soon began craving much more and much more often - him.

His enchanting voice had caught you off guard that first night, and his confused and cautious “Who is this?” had, incredibly enough, been the starting point of you two talking every chance you got since then. Late nights chatting away on, what you have to admit were very sketchy websites, and the occasional call which was made with hushed voices and both of your hearts pounding away, had been most of your relationship. It sometimes felt like an imaginary relationship, since no one could know who he was, and even more importantly - know who you were to him.

“He’s not my fuck buddy, he’s…” you retorted.

“See, do you even know what he thinks you two are? You won’t even show me any pictures of him, is he super ugly or something?” Lana shouted as you hurried towards the back door.

“Shut up! I’ll see you later!” you yelled and the door slammed shut behind you. The back alley was filled with trash and scrap metal. The teenage boy from the large family who lived atop the store was smoking as he kicked bolts around on the ground. He looked up as you passed, and an uncomfortable feeling in your gut appeared as you felt him watch you while you exited the back alley and went onto the bustling street. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you fished it up.

Unknown. 12.31.

“I’ll be there in 10, leaving now.”

It was from Cheol. You wouldn't be getting any more updates from him until tonight, at least he had confirmed that he would be coming. Quickly you deleted the text from your phone and put the phone back into your pocket as a strange sense of being watched made the skin on your neck prickle. You looked around, moving your shoulders as if to shake the feeling away.

You hurried away and towards the café, the uncomfortable feeling still haunting you as you entered the café and headed straight to the restroom.

Would he come this time?

You could never be certain. He always did his best to keep his promises, but if the circumstances wouldn’t allow him to leave the group of managers that always circled him whenever he stepped outside the shiny company doors, keeping you a secret was more important. It didn’t hurt any less whenever he stood you up though.

Knowing that his reasons for acting as he did were because of his status as a level 1 automaton had shaken you to the core at first, but it had also been a relief. He had told you who he was after a couple of weeks when you had become convinced you had accidentally begun an affair with a married man, he had been forced to confess his real identity. At least you weren’t a home wrecker, was the thought that helped you reconcile with the fact that he would never be free to live a normal life with you.

Now you were seated on the toilet seat cover, your ear pressed to the door, your hand on the handle ready to pull it open. Time moved slower than usual, but your heartbeat was racing along with your mind.

Then you heard him, it was undeniably his voice that made its way past the music, chatting, and the coffee machines. He was coming to you. You could barely hear when he opened the first door into the restrooms over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears. Without a second thought, you opened the door enough to register the man you had thought about all too often lately and pulled him by the arm inside the small bathroom you had occupied. His biceps tensed as you pulled him and your body lit on fire because of it. God, he was so wonderfully big. Everything from his biceps to his cock was just so perfectly huge, and you went mad any time you thought about it. You kissed him in a passionate kiss, pressing your entire body against his. You fit so well together, his hands on your face and yours wrapped around his body.

You wanted more, you wanted all of him, all the time. You wanted to cry because you knew you couldn't have him. With tears pricking your eyes you let Seungcheol pull back to look into your eyes.

“Hi,” he whispered and smiled. You said hi back softly before the excitement and the giggles overtook your lips. You kissed him again, this time he saw to it that it was a soft and gentle kiss. A small wince left your throat, making Seungcheol quickly turn on the faucet, hoping it would drown out any noises. “Sorry,” you mumbled against his plush lips.

“Don’t worry, it’s partially my fault,” he said pridefully.

You were about to laugh, but instead, you pushed up his shirt, exposing his perfectly sculpted upper body to your touch. “Fuck you,” you said under your breath.

“‘Fuck me please’ is what you meant, yeah?” he cockily corrected you without missing a beat, flipping you both so you stood with your back against the wall he had been facing away from. You gasped as he lifted you off the ground with the wall helping to pin you between his stiff cock and the cold and hard wall.

He was right, even though you hadn’t allowed yourself to get your hopes up, you had been feeling unusually needy lately. The thoughts of him filling you up in any way constantly on your mind, you were already turned on as you entered the café with the small promise of him setting foot in there to meet you later.

“Please, fuck me,” you gasped out, feeling your arousal soak your underwear at the thought of his girthy cock inside of you. “I need you to be quiet,” he mumbled against your lips.

At this, you nodded fervently. Finally, you would feel him stretching you open again, bruising your insides with the force of his strokes like you had dreamt of after every single time you had managed to get together like this before. The moments were rare, but you made the most of the short time you had, to say the least.

His tongue quickly found yours as he ground you on his erection, eliciting a low moan and making you open your mouth for him to enter. Warm hands wandered your body, his gentle touch making you swoon as he held you with so much love, while the promise of him fucking you like the slut you were hung in the air.

A knock on the door, and both of you froze up, his bulge pressing right on your clit making it unbearable not to move. You winced only slightly as Seungcheol’s lips left yours, deciding to put your now lonely lips to use, kissing down his jaw and neck with soft little pecks and nibbles. “What?” Seungcheol asked over the sound of the water running, his tone a bit more agitated than he had intended. Not that he was at fault, he had a soaking cunt begging to be fucked right above his cock, and lips that made him go insane on his neck; someone disturbing him right now was not what he needed.

“How much longer do you need? We don’t have all day to wait around for a pair of pants to dry up.” the staff member on the other side of the door said, earning a sigh from Seungcheol.

After a moment of silence, he groaned and shouted towards the locked door. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I’ll be right out.”

No, you thought, your limbs holding onto the man who you had just only gotten a taste of even harder than before. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I need you to be patient for me until next time, can you be good for me and wait?” he mumbled against your hair, your lips still attached to the skin right below Seungcheol’s collar. “Yes,” you said against his neck, letting go of his skin in favor of burying your face in the warmth of his chest. He put you down on the floor, his arms releasing the back of your thighs and instead wrapping around your body. For just a moment he held you close until the buzzing of the dryer died out and he loosened his hold on you.

You pressed your body against the wall as Seungcheol unlocked the door and disappeared through it just as quickly as he had been pulled in through it.

“Sorry, it didn’t come off.” you heard him say through the doors.

“We can’t get the shots if you’re all messed up like this, let’s tell the crew that we’re going back instead. Come on 5.C0UP5.” The staff member who had been just a few steps away from you two while they waited outside the restroom door responded as the voices got fainter and blended into the sounds of the café.

You sat in silence with your hand on the door handle as his voice disappeared completely. In the beginning, you had enjoyed the thrill and noncommitment of him not being able to be there to be an actual boyfriend because of his work and position in life, you recalled as you felt all the emotions in your body dissolve into nothing.

A small pain in your chest was the only thing left. The late-night thoughts you whispered in the dark, and the messages you had sent each other that contained your deepest yearnings and your worst fears. They had gotten to you, and it didn’t help that whenever you got a taste of having him physically there with you, you rarely- never- wanted to let go. But you always had to.

“Enough wallowing, this isn’t changing anything,” you mumbled as you wiped your face from the wetness that had seeped from your eyes without you noticing. You needed to hurry back to relieve Lana from her shift you realized as you checked your watch, seeing that you were already supposed to be back at the store.

You didn’t waste much more time after that, hastily making your way out of the bathroom, checking behind you as you left the café to make sure nobody had paid any attention to you. Like a punch in the gut, the feeling of being watched returned as your eyes landed on a dark-clad figure staring at you through the shop window. He had no reason to follow you with his gaze as you hurried across the street, away from the café, away from the gut-wrenching feeling that something was awry.

He wasn’t looking at you, right? You were just getting too paranoid, that’s all, right?

5.C0UP5 had been daydreaming the entire way back to the company, his mind taking him back to the moments he could hold you in his arms. His body couldn’t ache for you, but his mind almost had him believing that he did. Some days, he almost believed himself to have a heart. A heart that broke each time he had to leave you behind.

It wasn’t until he got back to the dorms where he got a glimpse of his members, and friends since he had been put into this world, that he finally felt himself come down back to reality. They were everywhere, some he saw in the lobby along with their hoards of staff members just like his own. Some were in the dorms, sleeping, or at least in a state of being that looked like sleeping as they charged.

Others were nowhere to be found, not that he went looking. They could mind themselves, he knew they would never do anything to make him less proud of them. To 5.C0UP5, he was the bigger worry.

He was just about to let himself rest and recharge, to try and forget the pain in the back of his mind, haunting him even as he saw his members wandering the dormitories and the company hallways. You were always in the back of his mind, no matter what he did to try and forget. Somehow, he had accidentally let you in, and now you were half his world. The hidden side of the moon, the side which should always remain in darkness, no matter how closely you look.

A staff member who had left him just minutes ago as they entered the guarded company building came back, not even bothering to knock before they entered the room in which 5.C0UP5 sat on his bed. “5.C0UP5, you need to follow me, the CEO has something to talk to you about.”

It had happened before, he met with the CEO every once in a while. After all, he was the spokesperson for the group, even if they didn’t have many (any) rights, they still needed to have someone to be their voice. This time, however, the meeting wasn’t scheduled. The CEO wanted to have an impromptu meeting with him… his hand unconsciously fell against his left side pocket, worry filling his mind even though he tried to make sense of why he had been called in to talk to the management.

Even as he entered the large office of the CEO he had been in more times than he could count, something felt off. People he had never met sat in chairs all around the walls. Guards stood at the door, looking more tense than he had ever seen them before, and the CEO himself had the strangest expression he had ever worn. 5.C0UP5 waited until he was spoken to, as he had been instructed so many times before. Honoring the one who made sure he had the comfortable life he currently had was something he had been taught from the very first day he had opened his eyes.

“Hello 5.C0UP5.” the suit-clad man in the dark chair said. He spoke calmly, but not kindly. 5.C0UP5 picked up on his tone immediately.

“Hello, Sir,” he answered and bowed his head ever so slightly, his eyes never leaving the man in front of him. The room was dark, but the photos splayed out on the desk in front of the CEO finally caught 5.C0UP5’s eye. He could recognize them even at this distance and brightness. His head worked ceaselessly to find the moment it had begun, the moment they had found out. Because in front of the CEO, he could spot hundreds of pictures of the one person he wished they would never even see: you.

All that went through 5.C0UP5’s mind when he realized what had finally happened was fuck.

“I understand that you have been seeing this human for a while… did you think we wouldn’t find out?” the CEO said, almost laughing at him as he sat in his chair looking over the pictures, each one containing your face, at work, at the café from earlier that day, at home. They had you right under their nail, ready to remove you from the planet at any second. He wanted to scream.

The CEO cleared his throat before he threw the photo he held in his hand on the glass desk in front of him. “Now, unless you want us to eliminate this problem of yours, you will be rebooted first thing tomorrow.”

5.C0UP5 knew he wasn’t supposed to protest, he wasn’t even supposed to think anything other than “Yes, Sir,” but before he could stop himself he spoke his mind.

“Please, no… Why would you do that? It doesn’t make any sense. If I’m found breaking the rules, I’m to be demoted, not- not this!”

“Seventeen is currently the galaxy’s top band 5.C0UP5, and you are their leader, you have an image to uphold. And since you failed at doing this, we want to reboot your system, that way you will be able to stay and your group members' reputations won’t be tarnished, and most importantly. This little issue will be resolved because you won’t even remember this little human.”

The CEO wasn’t smiling as he had thought before, the CEO had never once smiled. His eyes were dead, nothing more than a ghost of a human left inside of him. At least 5.C0UP5 felt something, at least he could smile, at least he could love…

He could love. He had felt it. So why was he about to get punished for something his management swore he couldn’t feel? Hoped he couldn’t, might be more accurate, 5.C0UP5 realized.

“How did you know?” he asked, the glare he received was enough that the management had begun running out of patience for him already.

“Does it matter? We know everything about you.” the CEO answered curtly.

Just like that the pieces fell into place, they had known all along. He felt the piece of metal that clung to his chest like a stone, stuck in his body and destroying him from within. They had known all along… The upcoming release of their new comeback was what they were worried about, he soon realized. They had hoped he would stop of his own free will, after all, he had the personality trait of shame. He should’ve already ended whatever he had with you.

However, he hadn’t. And now it would become an issue if they didn’t handle it quickly and quietly.

Despite that, the thought that overpowered all others at that moment wasn’t about how small he felt as he realized the true power the company had over him, or how much he loathed the people who thought they had a right to control him. He could love. That was the loudest, and he wanted to scream it, make everyone hear him just this once. It made him proud, he could do something this human was incapable of, and now they wanted to take that away from him. No. There was no way he was going to let them do that to him as well. He clenched his fist at his side, should he fight?

“You can return to your rooms, they will come to get you soon,” the CEO declared and pushed the photos on his desk off the table, straight into the trash can underneath. 5.C0UP5 fists relaxed a bit, a new plan forming as he turned to leave the room with the stern guards following along. “Oh,” he heard the CEO say, “and leave the phone, you are no longer trusted to keep it with you even in case of emergencies. I hope you understand… you won’t need to understand in a bit.”

His jaw was frozen in place as he took the phone from his pocket and threw it towards the CEO. The guards jumped forward to grab his arms as the phone crashed into the table and tipped over a cup of metal pens that scattered all across the floor. “Leave us,” said the CEO without even flinching.

5.C0UP5 didn’t feel any shame as he was dragged out from the dark office, suit-clad strangers watching him with cold eyes as the doors slammed shut behind him. He was dragged until they were in the hallway where the crossroad between freedom and forever forgetting you were. “I can walk by myself,” he said with a growl he had never heard in his voice before. The guards let him stand alone, watchful eyes on him as they began walking again, one in front of him and one behind him now. It’s now or never, he thought, taking the shot as he saw it arise in front of him.

His mind barely registered the hands that tried to grab onto him, all his focus lay on the doors in the lobby and on getting there. He ran with all his might until he crashed into the doors that were too slow to open. The crack widened and he pushed himself out of the glass doors that opened just in time for him to keep staying ahead of the guards. Bright lights in all the colors of the rainbow lit up before him as he began running down the crowded streets. His eyes watered because of the wind, and the lights blurred into a kaleidoscope of light.

His body was designed to be agile and strong, he was designed to keep moving. Right now that felt like the biggest blessing he had ever received in his cursed life.

From the back of his mind, two things arose. The first was your apartment, he had only heard about it, you had described exactly how to get there in one of the late-night calls you had whispered to each other weeks ago. The second was those twelve faces which were all he had known for so long; his members would be left to deal with it all when he was gone. He knew them so well, and yet, none of them had even had a chance to become someone to get to know. He wanted to give them a chance. As he ran he shouted out the word “Run!”, pressed that button he had used so many times before in the middle of the device connected to his chest, and began tearing the peace of metal from his body. It took him a few tries before he managed to rip the entire thing off of his skin. It hurt more than he had imagined, the pain was brain-numbing and overwhelming. He almost had to stop, the pain making it hard to focus on making his legs move forward.

Nevertheless, he was free, the tracker was gone from his body, and with it was his only connection to the only family he had ever known.

He ran, and he didn’t stop running until he arrived at your apartment. They would know he was here, they knew everything. He needed to be quick. He ran up the stairs to your apartment, knocking aggressively on your door, shouting as loudly as he dared for you to open the door. It wasn’t long until the door swung open and he was close to tears as he saw your very shocked face looking back at his panicked state. The thing you had imagined, but since you had found out his true identity, always known would never happen, had happened. 5.C0UP5 was tired, but he needed to get away, and he wanted you to come with him.

“We need to leave, they’re coming for me. Please come with me,” he pleaded, his eyes begging you as his hands held your arms desperately.

“What did you do?” you said breathlessly.

“They were going to make me forget, make you… erase the issue… I couldn’t let them take this away from me too.”

You were speechless. “You ran.” He nodded. You didn’t even bother to say a word as you ran into your apartment, leaving 5.C0UP5 at the door. He had no idea if you were trying to find somewhere to hide or looking for something as he heard crashes and your voice shouting curses from further inside your small place. He needed to get out of there, but maybe… holding out hope was worthwhile it turned out. Minutes later, which felt like hours for 5.C0UP5, you reappeared at the door, backpack in hand and sweat gracing your hairline. You were running with him.

It wasn’t a hard decision, you weren’t close to your parents, and Lana would understand eventually… at least you hoped your coworker, and only close friend at this moment of your life, would understand if you ever survived to tell her and apologize for leaving without a word.

A small pain stabbed at your heart, leaving everything for an automaton on the run. Everything you had ever known for this man… It felt insane at the moment, and it felt even more insane as you felt Cheol squeeze your hand which you had been holding since you took it, and began running towards the docks. You sat in the cold of the night on a hard bench next to Cheol. In a bit, a ship would arrive. Crowded places felt like a good idea at first, but now, the paranoia set in. Was that old man over there looking a bit too long at Cheol? Didn’t those surveillance cameras follow them as they walked onto the docks?

The hand in yours pressed gently against your skin, helping you stay at least a bit sane as the weight of what you were doing was already beginning to tug at your strength. You thought it best to focus on the plan instead.

“Let’s get on this ship, hop off at the airport, and get on another ship there. That way we can get off this planet because the sooner the better right?”

“Yeah, but don’t you think they will be looking for me at all the docks and airports?” Cheol said quietly.

He was right of course, they would be looking for the escaped automaton at all the exits of this world they could think of.

“Maybe if we…” You tried, but you didn’t know how you would get away if his company's staff members were to hunt them down anywhere on the planet. “Damn. Do you know that it’s incredibly difficult to go on a trip with you?” you deadpanned. The moment was horrible, but also perfect. It made Cheol smile, something you hadn’t seen the entire way from the moment you opened the door until now.

It helped keep your mind off of the horrible situation and the impending doom.

“It is,” he chuckled, “I never thought it would become an issue though.”

“But here we are,” you said and sighed. Cheol leaned against you, his large arm pushing against your side, making a smile split across your face.

“I don’t think we should get on one of the commercial airlines… we need something more private,” Cheol mumbled.

“How would we get a hold of a ship of our own? We don’t have the money for that…”

“We’ll figure it out…”

“We have a lot to figure out from now on, Cheol,” you said and let your head fall against his shoulder, resting your heavy mind on his strong frame. He hummed, the sound comforting you even while you thought about all the ways you could get killed while on the run.

The submarine came soon enough, and you both got on without a hitch. If you were being followed, they weren’t coming out of the shadows just yet. The cold light from inside the ship lit up the dark water around the underwater tracks that held the boat in place as it brought commuters across the sea each day and night. Under the high waves had turned out to be much easier than above them, especially nowadays. The storms had become worse in the last couple of centuries. Every other day there was another tropical storm on the seas. A side-effect of the universes coming closer together was what the scientists had concluded when it first began happening hundreds of years ago after the end of The Great Journey.

You looked out the blurry window into the empty waters. Cheol and you were sitting by the back of the ship, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. You had managed to throw a cap into your backpack, which now helped hide Cheol’s face from any surveillance cameras while you used the hood of your sweatshirt to somewhat hide your face. Being a petty thief seemed like the least of your current issues.

Neither of you spoke the entire ride, only communicating and comforting each other through a hand in the other or on their thigh. If you weren’t panicking you would probably be craving his touch in other places. That would have to wait though. A safe place was probably the priority, you decided in the back of your mind. You noticed his other hand, the one which wasn’t holding onto you like his life depended on it, continued reaching towards his neck. He seemed to be in pain. Did he get hurt? You hadn't had the time to even think about asking him how he was feeling or if he had gotten hurt by the guards or even the staff. You made a mental note to ask him later, placing your head against the rest behind you instead of his shoulder. You didn’t want to cause any more pain by resting against him.

It was getting rather late as you left the submarine station you had gotten off at. Your heart wasn’t calming down anytime soon, you weren’t equipped to handle this kind of stress. Day-to-day, normal life stress was enough, this was something else entirely.

“I want to live out the rest of my life in a very peaceful manner, far away from all of this crap,” you whispered as you walked the short walk from the submarine station to the spaceport welcoming hall. You wanted to be on a warm couch, not thinking about how to run away without being arrested. Right now, the idea of a living room seemed too far out of reach. All around you were tiny shops, suitcases, and the cold and unnatural light that lit up the entire spaceport’s welcoming hall. Ships that were boarding sounded out through the air, the comfy couch was as far from reality as you could get.

Cheol scoffed, “I agree, wholeheartedly. I am never running away again after this, it’s too much work.”

You tried to hold your laugh in, “Yeah, too much sneaking around for my taste. Let’s just run away this once, and then stay put and become that old couple on the hill that no one dares to visit.” Cheol nodded. “I would do anything for that…” Suddenly you noticed a small melancholy feeling in his words. You were just about to ask what was on his mind when he stopped your walk into the large welcoming hall, ushering you both into a small tourist shop. All you saw were miniature Earths, mugs with stupid prints, and keychains with different tourist attractions. You did not like it. For a second you were worried that he wanted to do some last-minute shopping, but your worries changed as you saw his terrified face. He had seen someone he knew.

“I’ve seen that woman over there by the kiosk before, she usually helps backstage at our concerts. Fuck, that means they really managed to send people out to the exits,” he grumbled. This was bad. You felt your blood rushing in your veins, panic filling your mind. Had you been alone, you would’ve been frozen right about now.

“Let’s just go,” he whispered hurriedly, panic visible on his face. “The faster we’re out of here the better, right? Are you with me?”

“Always. Let’s go,” you whispered, the reassurance being all Cheol needed to grab your hand in his even firmer than before and head right out of the welcoming hall and out the nearest exit leading to the departing spaceships. You were unbelievably lucky as you ended up in the middle of a large swarm of travelers who were just about to board the large ship. Most were workers it turned out, the ship being part commuting area and half cargo space. The both of you managed to sneak onto the ship along with the workers, keeping your heads down as you hoped to anything that would listen that you would be able to sneak onboard undetected.

It was unplanned, you barely even knew where the ship was headed. It wasn’t until you heard the voice that called out that the ship heading to Specus would depart that you both realized where you were heading. Specus was the mining planet, all the minerals needed for this universe to continue expanding its empire, and for life to continue as it has been until now, were found on this planet. All the people on this ship were workers there, probably coming back from their biannual leave which was granted to all humans and other living beings working there. Automatons was not included in the group of people who got any leave. The laws were clear about that, automatons were not human and didn’t need any form of vacation.

The laws were bullshit.

“Specus… I mean it could be worse, right?” you whispered. Cheol nodded, caught up in his thoughts. “Should we look for somewhere else to hide until we’re there?” you asked, trying to catch his attention again. Once again he only nodded, his senses all focused on his surroundings, making sure you two weren’t being followed or watched as he pulled you away from the area with rows of seating for the workers traveling with the ship. You went past the cots, knowing there was no way you could manage to stay hidden the entire way if you tried to stay in there. Instead, you made your way to the lower parts of the deck, the part of the ship where travelers didn’t wander. Here, you would only find crew members, cleaners, servers, and mechanics. The hallways were darker here, the LED lights being used more sparsely on the lower decks. You had a hard time seeing in the low light, but Cheol had your hand in his, a relaxed feeling managing to find its way into your body despite the circumstances.

You had only managed to get a little way past the third deck when you met another person for the first time since you had left the seating area. “Are you two lost?” the man asked, making you jump and making Cheol whirl around to where the sound was coming from. You hadn’t noticed him in the dark until he spoke.

“No, we’re just… looking for the bathroom,” you stuttered out.

It was the dumbest excuse in the book. You knew you didn’t have the man fooled when he began laughing. It was a wonderful laugh, high-pitched and genuine. The figure stepped out of the dark, revealing a handsome man, dressed in a simple gray overall. Over his breast pocket, it said maintenance. You felt yourself growing a bit anxious as to what the laughing man would do next. Would he turn you in?

“No, but seriously, why are you all the way down here? You two certainly don’t look like the new hires we were supposed to get this week,” the man, who you realized was holding a mop which he was now leaning on, said with a curious tone as he scanned the both of you from head to toe. “You look like a fucking idol, you know. If I didn’t know better I would think you were on the run,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m Cheol, this is Y/N,” Cheol said finally as he nodded his head in your direction. Even in this light, you could tell he was staring at the stranger with that intense gaze that could make anyone either break down or swoon.

The maintenance man sighed, “Alright, I’m Wooyoung. Come with me,” he said without explanation. You didn’t follow him right away. He looked back at you, the “Coming?” visible on his face.

“Do we trust him?” you whispered to Cheol, who was still watching the man waiting for you.

“I don’t know about trust, but honestly what choice do we have? It’s not like we can go anywhere now, and it’s a long journey to Specus…”

You nodded, nervousness made your hand clammy in Cheol’s firm grip.

This was a risk you needed to take. If he was going to turn you in, it was probably better to just get it over with. At least you wouldn’t have to starve or something if you were locked up until you got to Specus.

He led you to the lower decks, and surprisingly began introducing you both as the new temps that would help around on your way to Specus. The other crew members nodded, a few glancing rather suspiciously at you both but accepting the half-truth that Wooyoung told them. They hadn’t heard anything about any new temps, but it was none of their business it seemed. Who, and why you were there to help around didn’t matter to them.

Wooyoung led you around the lower decks, being strangely chatty with you two. You hadn’t expected someone so friendly to simply appear in your lives just as you needed it. Was he somehow your savior or was he something entirely else? You hoped he was good news because the alternative was so much worse.

“Okay, this guy is great, you’re gonna love him. He’s not… too talkative, but he’s very good!” Wooyoung said as he took you down a flight of very narrow stairs.

“Good at what?” You asked, minding your step so you wouldn’t fall as you descended. Wooyoung didn’t answer, instead flinging a thick metal door open and skipping inside.

“Sannie!” Wooyoung suddenly shouted as you and Cheol entered a room after him. The room was filled from floor to ceiling with electronics. Screws, bolts, and different tools were everywhere. It looked like a mix of a car workshop and a dentist. The second part was mainly because of the chair in the middle of the room. The only time you had seen one of those was when you had gone to the dentist. By a table, a man sat on a high stool, engrossed in whatever he was doing. A bright lamp shone down on, what looked to you like, a bunch of chords in different colors.

“What Woo? Did you get hurt again? Or are you just here because you’re bored…” San said as he was turned away from the door where you and Cheol stood, unsure of what to say and do just as you had been for the past couple of minutes. Would this man scrutinize you and Cheol as well, like the other staff members Wooyoung had introduced you to? It seemed you had managed to bump into the most friendly maintenance member on the entire crew, and you thanked the universe for that because it seemed as if he was the solution to a lot of your current issues. He seemed to know everyone on this ship, and you hoped the friendship between him and the others would somehow be your and Cheol’s way of being allowed into the crew.

“No… or well, yes, I am always a bit bored when you’re not around,” Wooyoung chirped, “But I’m here to see what you can do for these two.”

Wooyoung gestured towards the door, finally bringing the new strangers’ attention to where you and Cheol stood. “Well, I’ll be damned. You brought a level 1 down here along with a human?” San said and looked between you both and Wooyoung who smiled brightly at his friend. “Yup!”

San nodded, “Well, I can guess what happened with you two since you’re here after all… Can you work?” he asked after a moment. You nodded. “Yes,” you heard Cheol say.

“Great. I’m San, I’m the mechanic around here. Since I’m human, and apparently that means something even in space, these fuckers also put me in charge when we leave the dock. I’ll get you what you need, food for you,” he said and looked at you, he then turned to Cheol, “A charger for you, and enough work to make sure you sleep soundly when you get off your shifts,” San declared.

“Yay!” Wooyoung shouted gleefully, his cheerful claps making you crack a smile - despite the situation you found yourselves in.

Cheol wasn’t smiling, but he seemed more relaxed. “How did you know I was a level 1?” was all he asked. You hadn’t reflected on it, but it was strange that he had been able to realize the difference between Cheol and you so quickly.

San smirked, “It’s my job to know. If I couldn’t tell the difference between you and one of the workers here, I’d really be in trouble as a mechanic.” He was about to return to the mess of chords on his desk, but he looked back at Cheol, pointing towards his neck. “Also, come back here tomorrow and I’ll get that fixed for you.” Cheol’s hand reached for his neck again, the pain from touching the place his tracker had been made him flinch in agony. His shirt had fallen a bit lower while you had wandered after Wooyoung, he had opened his jacket, and now you finally spotted the area he had been protecting this entire time. The piece of metal you had avoided in your secret rendezvous was gone. He had ripped it out, you shuddered at the thought of the strength it must’ve taken to rip something like that from your own skin. You squeezed his hand to comfort and distract him, you didn’t know what else to do.

Wooyoung came towards you, happily walking away from San who was already immersed in his work, and made it clear that you were to follow him.

“Thank you,” you said before you left, San looking over his shoulder to give you a small smile and a ‘no worries’ expression in return. But worry was exactly what you had begun feeling, more than anything else.

You and Cheol got a gray overall each, both saying maintenance over the breast pocket and the back, just like the one Wooyoung was wearing. “Stay in here for tonight, and when I wake you I’ll let you know what you will be doing for the next couple of weeks,” Wooyoung explained, giving you a small room in a long hallway to stay in. Everything was in the same cool metallic shade, and you realized that all you had to sleep on tonight would be a lonely pillow and a blanket that looked like it had seen better days.

“It’s not ideal…” you stated, looking around in the small space you had been assigned as your room. “But we can make it work, right?”

“It could be a lot better,” Cheol nodded and looked at you. You had had an affair with a famous level 1 automaton, been found out by some really powerful people, threatened to be disposed of, illegally left Earth, and had just been offered safe passage to another planet by some unexpectedly friendly people. But the room was a bit small and dark. Cheol looked at you, a smile creeping onto his face. You began laughing at the absurdity, “We should probably be more grateful,” he gasped out between laughs. “But it’s so ugly!” You shouted, your laughs getting more and more manic.

“This is probably the stupidest thing we have ever done,” you gasped out.

Your eyes welled, which tears that were a result of your laughing, and which were your exhaustion finally setting in was impossible to tell. All your emotions just came out all at once. You were gasping for air, tears running down your cheeks, and all the weight of your decisions crashing right into you.

“It was, but I can’t make myself regret anything,” Cheol said, emotion welling underneath his words. But he didn’t cry. Instead, he just held you. He let you cry your eyes out, staining his dark hoodie with your tears as you sobbed.

“Did we make the right decision?” you whispered against his chest, strong arms holding you safe as you questioned what you had done.

“I hope so,” you heard Cheol say, the sound of his voice echoing in his body. You fell asleep in his arms for the first time that day. Having him to yourself in this way was a privilege, you realized. It was a privilege you had lived without for your entire life. You didn’t even know that you had been missing out on it until you woke up the next day, your head in his lap and his hands holding the blanket to your waist. You looked up at his handsome face, wondering if he had been able to rest where he sat against the hard wall.

It didn’t take long until you had both caught on to what you needed to do around the ship. It turned out that Wooyoung was a great instructor. During your shifts you both ran around, cleaning, and helping the regular crew members when needed. Wooyoung quickly made sure you felt at least a bit more comfortable on the ship by giving you tours around the decks and introducing you to even more of the crew members.

The best part, however, was when you, after an exhausting day working around the large ship, got to lay down in Cheol’s lap while he charged and slept for a few hours, just feeling the heat that his body generated as you let yourself be swept away from reality. The weeks passed, and you learned the routines of the ship rather quickly.

You barely had any time to think, let alone feel, how physically and emotionally exhausted you were. Leaving everything on Earth and trying to survive day by day on this ship in the middle of the vast universe was more work than you had hoped when you impulsively decided to leave. Some days you managed to take a moment to yourself, stopping in the middle of your step, and just staring out the small windows on the sides of the ship. The space outside was both so full of life and so empty of anything at all that you found yourself floating away in your thoughts into nothingness for just a moment.

After a few weeks of almost nothing but work and sleep, the crew began preparing for the landing. Soon you would be on Specus, with absolutely nothing planned for what was to come. This soon changed, however, as you sat down with San to eat dinner. Cheol sat next to you, not wanting to spend unnecessary time apart from you just because he didn’t need to consume any food.

“But, like, did you like the dancing and all that?” Wooyoung asked, the conversation had ended up being about your professions.

“I think I did, yeah,” Cheol answered honestly.

“I always thought I’d be a pretty good idol. If I wasn’t designated my level, I would've given it a shot for sure!” Wooyoung said, “Or well, maybe not under your company… they don’t seem that great from what I’ve heard, with the whole rebooting thing and all… that…” he trailed off. You were all staring at him. The silence was deafening, none of you truly knew what Cheol had been through. He had told you bits and pieces, but not nearly enough to know how he’d react to this.

San and Wooyoung had become your friends since you had been sharing your meals every day. Most of the time the conversations flowed naturally, and the topics ranged from everything from San’s latest way to fix up bolts that had begun unscrewing themselves to childhood memories. Wooyoung and Cheol had a hard time joining in on those conversations, but they shared their fair share of memories from when they first gained consciousness.

It was strange to think about it in that way, your boyfriend never had a childhood. Well, you still didn’t have a name for what you two were, and calling him your boyfriend in your mind might be jumping to conclusions, you were simply on the run with each other and had a romantic and sexual relationship with one another, but boyfriend might be going too far- Nevertheless, he had been created just as he was right now. Out of all the parts about AI that you had grown up to accept, the no-childhood part was the one you never quite could get past. He had missed something that was so fundamental to you and all other people who had been born instead of created in a factory. It made you really think about the fact that someone had created him intentionally - not just anyone, but him.

The silence was still pressing around you as you all waited to see how Cheol would react to Wooyoung’s lighthearted comment about the idol life. Your thoughts were wandering away from you, maybe in a way of escaping reality until Cheol saved the conversation.

“I think you would've been a great performer. You have the right energy about you,” Cheol said with a straight face making Wooyoung crack a smile.

You were happy that he seemed okay talking about his experiences. And you were equally happy that the mood hadn’t been completely ruined because of Wooyoung’s thoughtless comment.

After some time, the conversations died out and San picked up a new one, asking something neither you nor Cheol had any good answers to: “What will you do next?”

You looked at Cheol. He looked just as clueless as you felt. Neither of you had a plan. “They don’t have any clue,” Wooyoung pitched in with his laugh, that you would remember for the rest of your life. You looked down, nodding slightly. It was true.

“Where do you want to go? You don’t have any idea of where you would like to be in the future?” San asked, surprised that you didn’t have at least the semblance of a plan.

“I don’t know much about the universe… but I want to go somewhere safe. I want to spend my life where I won’t be found and won’t be constantly watched,” Cheol answered before looking at you, “…somewhere we can be alone.”

Your heart fluttered. You had forgotten that your life wasn’t just the endless days of work on the ship. It was beyond you how you could’ve forgotten it all so fast, but the intense look filled with love and pain that Cheol gave you made all the feelings stir up once again. You wanted that too, you wanted a place where you two could just be together.

You nodded, concurring with what Cheol had just said, “Is there somewhere like that? Where we can stay forever?”

Wooyoung stayed quiet but San looked at the both of you, something in his eyes telling you both that he did have an answer to what you were asking him. “Lumen. That’s where you want to go.”

“Lumen?” you asked, never having heard of the planet before.

San hummed, “It’s right beside galaxy 428B. They say it’s the ‘utopia of the universe’, but very few have ever managed to get there and even fewer have managed to get there and back to tell the story of it.”

“Why is that?” you continued asking, your curiosity piqued.

Lumen had been a planet much like Earth before the entire shift in the universe had happened. It was a sunny place, filled with forests and unexplored nature. There lived some type of people, San wasn’t sure what they were called. It was far away, and the solar systems that were close together had not deemed it worth the cost of travel to create a way to commute there. If you could get there, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything but creating a way of life, San told you. He had heard about the place from travelers he met in his childhood, people who had been on a journey of their own in search of a safe haven - much like you and Cheol.

“All I know is that you need to travel as far north from our solarsystem as possible,” he said and went quiet. “I’ve never seen those people after they left in search of Lumen, I don’t know if they ever made it.”

Cheol was deep in thought next to you. Neither of you responded to what San had told you except for a short: “Thanks, I think we should head to bed.” But even as you rested your head against his shoulder that night waiting for the exhaustion to overtake you, not a word came from the man you had spent weeks chatting within just this position.

If you were going to find out what he thought about your destination, you would need to take the initiative you thought that night.

“I wanna go, do you?” Your words lingered in the dark room. Silence. Soon you almost began falling asleep, your brain coming to accept that you were probably not going to get an answer out of him tonight. Your body jerked as you heard his deep voice say: “I want to come with you.” Grabbing his hand you nodded sleepily against his shoulder.

“I love you…” you mumbled before you dozed off, leaving Cheol alone and awake in the dark with your words ringing in his ears.

The next day Cheol still couldn’t get those three words out of his mind. Only for a moment did he think about trying to make up a plan for what you needed to do now that you had decided where you wanted to go. ‘I love you’… the thought of your sleepy voice whispering to him had him cleaning the same spot for at least twenty minutes.

You had said it first, but he didn’t even know if you meant it in the way he felt it. Did you just say it without thinking while half asleep? Were you thinking of someone else? What if you were mad that he hadn’t said it?

He was freaking out, rubbing harder with the mop on the laminated floors. He was sure that he had messed it all up. Maybe you didn’t want to go anymore. What if you had just followed him thinking it would be a quick trip and ended up with more than you had bargained for? God, why hadn’t he said it back last night? He felt it, so why did he freeze when he heard those three damn words?

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, “Hey,” Wooyoung stood beside him, looking at the only wet spot on the ground around them. “How’s it going with the floor?”

Cheol looked down, only now realizing how caught up in his head he had been. “Shit, I’m sorry man.”

“No worries. Something wrong?” Wooyoung said, his hand still on Cheol’s shoulder in a reassuring manner.

He shook his head, “Just a lot on my mind…”

Wooyoung hummed, nodding understandingly. “Go talk to each other about whatever it is, don’t just stand here doing… I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing, to be honest.”

Cheol looked at him. He was weirdly intuitive, Cheol thought as he looked at the crooked smile Wooyoung was flashing him. He nodded, “It’s ok for me to go?”

“Dude, just go! I told you to do so, I decide who cleans the floors and you are definitely not helping me do it, so you’re off floor duty.”

Cheol let go of the mop, his legs quickly moving away from the upper decks and down to the lower ones, towards you. He quickly found you in the kitchen, removing plates from the large dishwasher as the servers stacked the hot plates in tall piles - it looked rather dangerous as he glanced at the piles that towered over him. “Cheol?” You blurted out, surprised to see him here when he wasn’t on duty in the kitchen that day.

“Hi, I… I wanted to see you, and Wooyong he- he said I could go and I needed to…” he paused, he didn’t actually know what he wanted or what he needed. Or well, he did know, he just didn’t know how to make it happen.

“Come on, let’s go talk then,” you simply responded, making Cheol look at you in awe. He wondered how it had been so easy for you to say what he had wanted to say all along. You on the other hand were wondering why Cheol stood entranced in the kitchen doorway looking at you as if the words ‘let’s talk’ had been revolutionary.

“Coming?”

Cheol nodded and followed you back to the small back room that had been yours for the past few weeks. It was dark, but there was enough light coming in from the hallway and the tiny lamp in the corner of the room to light up the piles of clothes in the other corner, the blanket he put over you every night, and the charger that was plugged into the wall next to where he slept with you in his lap.

The door closed heavily behind him as you leaned against a wall, wondering what it was that he felt the need to talk about, was it Lumen? “Did you change your mind?” You asked hesitantly.

“About what?” Cheol looked scared for some reason, you didn’t know why but it made your eyebrows knit together.

“It’s not about Lumen?”

“No, no I still wanna go to Lumen! It’s not about that… wait, do you… not want to anymore?”

You shook your head, “That’s not it!” You hurried to assure him. “I just thought, since that was our last conversation… you know.”

Cheol swallowed, he just needed to say what he felt.

That was easier said than done though. The words all got jumbled up in his brain, his thoughts making his throat go dry, he just wanted you to know without having to tell you. You couldn’t read his mind, but he wanted you to feel it. He wanted you to feel how much, how deeply he loved you. He took a step towards you, your arms wrapping around him without a second thought. You pulled him close, chuckling at the thought that he had just wanted some kisses.

His lips pressed against yours and his tongue quickly made its way into your mouth, the movements from his touch making you dizzy and tingly all over. Want was already pooling in your lower stomach. Arousal seeped through your folds, you hadn’t felt Cheol’s touch or mouth on you in so long. It kickstarted your system and had you wet after just a couple of minutes of making out.

“More please,” you mumbled against his lips.

Cheol’s hand moved down from your waist, below the gray pants you were wearing today. His large fingers quickly found their way through your folds, your pussy now soaked and leaking as he slipped his hand against your clit. His breath was hot against your face as he let go of your lips so he could hear your whimpers as he circled your clit.

It felt so good, his rough hands knew exactly what to do as they dipped into your cunt, only teasing you before he went back to press on your sensitive spot.

You were spreading your legs further apart the longer he teased your clit, you wanted to be filled, you wanted him to push his digits further into your body, you wanted to feel him inside of you as you gushed around his fingers. When he did you moaned out his name, the tension from the past few weeks all dissolving as he fucked you on his fingers.

A loud knock drew you both out of the moment, and an unsure voice came from behind the door. “Uhm, Cheol? I just wanted to tell you that you’re off for the rest of the day… I got both yours and y/ns shifts covered… so you could talk.”

Cheol cleared his throat, “Yeah, thanks Wooyoung!” he shouted back before pushing his fingers back deep inside your cunt. A moan escaped your lips as he hit the right spot within.

Wooyoung went silent, “Okay fine! Later then!”

Cheol didn’t bother to answer, and as Wooyoung left you could hear him talk to himself, “You do something nice for someone and all they do is wave you off so they can get their dick wet, assholes!”

He would’ve done the same, but none of you would ever argue about it with him. You both laughed for just a second before Cheol kissed you gently yet again, making you forget everything about what had just happened.

You soon came as he thrust his fingers deeper into you while the palm of his hand pressed on your entire pussy. It was heavenly, a white blur was all you could see, and relief swept through your body. Cheol kept you from falling onto the floor when he put down the leg he had helped hold up. You were holding onto his clothing with a firm grip as you came down from the first high you had felt in too long. Cheol was riding on a high of his own, not because he had been allowed to cum but because you had. He felt just as proud now as he did the first time he had managed to make you have an orgasm, and he let the words come as they wished, “I love you, more than anything in the universe.”

Your eyes fluttered open upon hearing those softly spoken words. The words that turned your world upside down, the words that terrified you, the words you had longed to hear.

“I love you too,” you said, pressing your forehead against Cheols.

“I know,” he chuckled.

“Wait what?” You said and pulled away your head to try and see his face, “How… oh!”

Your hand flew to slap over your mouth as you remembered what you had been thinking last night, remembering how the words had sat right at the tip of your tongue before you let yourself fall asleep last night. “I said it out loud, didn’t I?”

Cheol nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. “I hope you meant it because you’re gonna have to spend the rest of eternity with me once we get to our paradise.”

“Our paradise? You already think Lumen is ours?” You teased.

“Of course, with my handsome face and your gorgeous everything, how could we not find ourselves in charge?”

“You’re insane, and I meant it.”

His smile shone even in the darkness and it lit up your heart like the sky on New Year’s Eve. He held you that night just like all other nights, but your mind was calmer than most other ones. You were dragging your fingertips along Cheol’s chest, resting your chin on his pillowy arm.

“You know what’s funny?” he suddenly asked.

You looked at him curiously. “What?”

“My entire life, the people around me tried to convince me that I didn’t have a will of my own - that I didn’t have my own needs that they couldn’t fulfill.”

“...that’s funny?” you asked, shocked at his apparent sense of humor.

Cheol laughed, “No, no, I mean, it’s not really funny… but it’s funny how, as I had begun believing this myself after years of having been told this, it all just collapsed in front of me the moment I picked up the phone and heard this stranger with the most endearing voice ever try to order a pizza from me.”

You stayed quiet, “...again, that’s what you find funny?? I think we need to work on your humor mister.” He laughed more, your giggles joining his after a moment. Living wasn’t easy, but at least he had joined yours, and it was beginning to transform. Nothing was as it had been, and even an unsure future on the run seemed better than the life you had been living so far. At least you had one another now.

Time moved too fast after that day, the goal of somehow going to Lumen with Cheol made the days on the ship with San and Wooyoung fly past you. Soon you were preparing to land on Specus. San had told you that you could stick with him for a few days before he got back on the ship to make the journey back to Earth. You both accepted, grateful that you didn’t have to figure out where to go by yourselves on this new planet.

The day you stepped off the ship onto the giant spaceport on Specus you held onto Cheol’s hand, just as you had when you boarded it. Specus was an industrial planet, its main purpose was to mine minerals and metals from deep within the planet. It was visible the second you stepped off the ship that this planet wasn’t like Earth at all. Everything felt like it was a back alley, with pipes, and rust covering every building and vehicle you could see as you followed San through the rundown welcoming hall. There were no shops filled with books or souvenirs, only a ticket shop booth where a robotic arm was visible in the yellowish window. San led you through the hall, not looking at much and saying even less. It was colder here than on Earth.

“Stop.” San said suddenly, “Look up.”

Both you and Cheol let your eyes flash up, towards the ceiling, or at least towards what would’ve been the ceiling had there been one. Instead what you both saw was a dark violet sky, not the kind that you had both seen on Earth, but one that looked like it was exploding with tiny stars. “What is that?” You asked as you stood with your neck bent back completely so you could watch the stars moving around above you, faster than any stars you had ever seen before.

“Specus spins faster.” San explained, “Somehow that ended up meaning it’s always this one color of blue in the sky and the light from the stars in our galaxies all blend to create this kaleidoscope of color and stars.”

“It’s pretty,” you said, tears almost forming in your eyes at your first sight of something other than metal and the darkness of space you had seen in months. You had missed looking up at the sky, you realized, even if it wasn’t the same sky that you had at home.

Home, where was that? Earth wasn’t your home anymore. Did you not have one anymore?

Cheol’s hand squeezed around yours and you abandoned the thoughts. They would only hurt you in the end, it was better to focus on the now.

San got you all two rooms at a hostel, the only one on the entire planet it turned out. They didn’t get many visitors except for the few who worked on commuting ships like San, and now you two. It had been so long since you had slept in a real bed that you slept as long as you physically could bear before your stomach was growling at you to get breakfast. San had already retrieved some while Cheol stayed with you, refusing to leave you alone just yet. He didn’t trust the others in the hostel, it seemed, as he continued to be on guard as you both got ready to leave your hostel room.

That day San took you both on a tour around the town, it was small but busy. Automatons, aliens, and a few humans were wandering around; on their way to work, on their way to their temporary homes, or on their errands for the day. In that sense, it didn’t feel like you were very far away from Earth. But as you glanced up at the violet kaleidoscope sky you were reminded of just how different it all was.

As the days passed on Specus, you didn’t have a clue of what to do next or how to get to Lumen. San had done everything he could for the both of you, even teaching you some of the most basic routines for checking on Cheol’s health. It hadn’t been an issue you had spent a single thought on, his health being something you took for granted even now. San helped you realize that what you had gotten yourselves into was dangerous not just because of who was after you, but because of who you two were. You needed to know things in case Cheol couldn’t help with telling you what he needed, in case something bad happened. Nobody would be able to help once you were alone. You weren’t handling the realization well.

Cheol was the one to let you forget about it after you had gotten yourself stressed about what could end up hurting him. He felt guilty about having you worrying about him, and honestly, a little pissed at San for frightening you so much. He knew you needed to learn though, and opted for being your comfort instead.

He kissed you, gently and lovingly, and he held you close when you couldn’t let the thought of having to use the new skill San had taught you on the man you loved. Seeing the inside of someone in that way had become your new nightmare. Cheol held you each night, shushing you back to sleep if you ever woke up from it.

Two weeks ended up passing by just like that, nightmares and lessons on Automaton autonomy. You wanted to get off of Specus by the beginning of the third week. It didn’t matter that San and Wooyoung had become your friends, you wanted to leave. The sky was still beautiful but everything around you reminded you of what San had taught you, and you couldn’t think anymore, you didn’t want to think anymore.

“Let’s find a ship then,” Cheol simply said when you voiced how badly you wished to go somewhere else, to find your paradise sooner rather than later.

You laughed a bit at that, “Do you really think it’ll be that easy?”

“Of course, it’ll be easy!” He said with a casual shrug. You flashed him a smile in return for his suddenly carefree attitude.

“I don’t believe you, but I say we give it a shot!”

Before you left you said your goodbyes to San, just in case you ended up actually lucking out and finding a ship that was willing to take you both to Lumen. You hugged the mechanic who had helped you both so much during these months. Cheol did the same, with one small difference, he whispered something to San before he pulled away. Something that made San’s face go serious but he nodded in confirmation. What had he agreed on? What had Cheol told him? You tried asking him as you left towards the spaceport but he wouldn’t budge, telling you “You’ll notice if it worked later, I promise.”

The hours passed, and any ship that looked decent had declined you. Every captain had a destination already and none of them had Lumen on the maps.

You were tired and hungry. Cheol’s chipper attitude was long gone by now and you were both seemingly thinking about giving up for the day.

“You know what, what if we just steal that ship? If we’re gonna be on one for months or even years we should have a proper one,” you joked and pointed at a large ship by the end of the docks. Cheol looked at the ship, it was larger than the ones you had been asking all day, but not even close to as large as a cargo ship. It was the perfect size for going on a long trip with a few people.

“Alright,” Cheol said without a hint of sarcasm, which made you look at him surprised.

“Wait what? You want to steal that ship for real?” You wheezed out. He nodded, a playful smile showing you that he meant to try.

Fuck it, your mind decided - hunger and the need to leave Specus and all its minerals overtaking your rational mind. You boarded the ship, walking past any guards as if you owned the place. Nobody minded you two, the few people that far out the docks minding their own business. The ship was even more gorgeous inside, modern and so clean you were shocked at how long you had gone since you last saw a floor without mud or rust.

You walked into the cockpit of the ship. If someone were to arrest you right now you were happy to at least have seen this ship before rotting away in Phylaca forever. The prison planet was the one place you never wanted to see even if you weren’t going there for imprisonment. But going to Lumen was all that mattered, so you would need to steal this ship.

“I think this will do,” you said and smirked at Cheol.

“What are you two doing here?” The voice made you both jump, and you both looked towards the exit. A man, rather large in his stature, stood confused and agitated in the doorway. He had just stepped inside the ship, the door behind him still wide open with the ramp that led to the dock right below him. You were in shock one minute and the next you began running. But you weren’t running away from the large man, you ran right towards him. A look of panic flashed across the man’s face and then your body slammed into his. You were sure you were going to fall with him, but you never did. A strong grip holding onto your waist. When you opened your eyes to see if you were dead you saw the man on the ground. He wasn’t moving. People around him looked up from their own business to look at what had happened. Cheol pulled you inside, closing the door as you stared out into the void in front of you.

Had you killed that man? You ripped yourself from Cheol’s grip and looked out of the tiny window that faced the docks where more and more people were grouping around the man. Was he moving? You wanted to think he was moving. The people around him tried to lift his head, he was bleeding a little, but he was sitting, right? Your mind was a mess. You didn’t know if what you were seeing was real, or if it was your mind playing a terrible trick on you.

You gasped as you saw the docks moving. They were moving away from you just as the man seemed to turn and point at you. “He’s not dead! Cheol I’m not a murderer!!” You shouted.

But Cheol wasn’t there, he wasn’t where you had torn away from his grip anymore. He was by the cockpit, hands frantically trying everything he could to get the ship to do as he wished. The docks hadn’t moved, you realized, the ship had.

Cheol picked up how to steer the ship rather quickly, even understanding how to use the auto control so he could charge at the same time you slept instead of constantly doing shifts. You were happy about that since it meant you got to spend time together on the ship, your days becoming rather pleasant as you settled into a routine. There was plenty of fuel on the ship, both for the ship itself and for you and Cheol. Electricity was easy to come by and there was a rather large supply of food there as well. You had managed to snatch a ship that had just been restocked - it was hard to accept the amount of luck the two of you had been struck by.

But the best part of the ship was the fact that nobody else was on it. For the first time in forever, you two were alone. Alone with a bed and each other. There was nothing else to do but to let Cheol fuck you in every way he, or you, wanted. And my god you wanted to - all the time. The day had only just begun on your second week on board the ship and you hadn't had the chance to get dressed yet, breakfast in bed having become the norm as you let the ship steer away from everything, hoping it would lead you to Lumen if you just kept the course San had told you about. You simply steered away from — and hoped for the best. After all, you had better things to do that occupied your mind at the moment.

Cheol could taste the fruit you had just eaten for breakfast, you tasted like what he imagined summer would if he could consume it. In a way he was. He was drinking in the way you looked underneath him with his eyes, he was licking and kissing every inch of you that he saw, nibbling on your skin, making you moan and beg more and more for each day that he learned his way around your body.

Never before had you been undisturbed like this for days on end. It was pure bliss. He found out each spot you liked to feel his lips on your skin, each spot where he could make you arch your back off the bed, and each spot on the ship where he could drill into your cunt until your legs gave out and your juices leaked out of you. You made a mess of the large bed that had been meant for someone a lot more powerful than the two of you, but none other than you two would’ve been able to use it to its fullest like you had been while alone on the ship.

Cheol’s fingers smoothed over your thighs as his hot breath caused shivers to spread from your core, goosebumps prickling your skin in the air of the spaceship. You were grabbing fistfuls of his long hair, his gaze sultry and dripping with lust as his tongue flicked over your clit. He was burying his face in your puffy and glistening folds, reveling in your moans and how your entire body was writhing from his tongue exploring your wet pussy.

You had been at it for a while, but neither of you were finished, orgasms were still left to be had before you would be able to sleep.

The way he was making out with your cunt would soon send you over the edge if only the muffled sound of a voice hadn’t found its way through the corridors of the ship to pull you out of your pleasure.

“What the fuck is that?” You groaned, pushing on Cheol’s head a little as if you would be able to hear the voice clearer the further Cheol was from your cunt. This was true, but not enough of a reason to give up on chasing your orgasm, according to Cheol since he simply attached his lips to you again.

He hummed, meaning to get you to ignore whatever it was. The voice of a person, clearly in a rush, continued to echo in the large rooms from the cockpit. “Cheol I need to check on that. They sound worried, maybe they’re in danger.”

“Fucking hell!” He groaned out as you pushed on him again. “How is it possible for us to get interrupted right now?! We’re in the middle of the freaking space for goodness sake!” Cheol shouted, his lips leaving your body and his hands stilled.

“I’ll fix it. Gimme two seconds,” you said with a giggle. He had taken the words right out of your mouth, it was incredible how you could never have sex without someone interrupting you.

You rushed to the cockpit, only managing to throw on a simple T-shirt. “Hello?” The voice came screeching out of the sound system in the cockpit. You had never used it before, but with a simple push of a button that blinked in a bright shade of red, you were able to answer the person on the other end. “Hello! Can we help you?” You asked in your friendliest tone.

“Yes, hello, this is the spacecraft Marquise, 4210-CH378,” the voice stated, “We are on course for —- and have discovered your ship on our monitor. We are on a direct collision course with your ship if nothing is adjusted, and based on our estimation of your ship size we are afraid that any living beings on your ship will be crushed as a result of the impending collision.”

You were speechless, “I’m sorry? We’re about to crash into you?! And die?!” You shouted the friendly tone you had tried to access now long gone in favor of your pure panicked state.

“I’ll move our ship! Please don’t crush us!” You shouted as you pressed down on the button, hoping to the stars that your actions were the right ones to do at that moment as you simply smashed buttons at random on the control desk. Anything to make the ship away from the larger ship that was already visible in the far-off distance, a star that seemed to move twice as fast as any regular star could.

You hadn’t noticed Cheol when he entered the cockpit, only noticing him when you felt a kiss on your shoulder, which then became a row of small warm kisses down your back. A small chuckle came from behind you as your body reacted to him, forgetting what you were doing.

“If you intend to change the course of your ship, we would prefer it happen before you end up in front of us…” the person on the other side of the intercom reminded you.

You had forgotten, pushing the red button once again, bending forward as you did, giving Cheol the perfect opportunity to push his face back against your still dripping pussy.

“I’m so sOrry-” you winced, “I’m having some technical difficulti- ah!”

“Do you need some assistance?” a voice crackled over the intercom. You needed to get the ship on another course or you would soon be nothing but a bug on the windshield of the much larger ship coming right towards you. Cheol’s tongue on your soaking cunt had you trembling where you stood, bent over the control panel, the ship in sight and your mind working against the impulse to give in to Cheol’s magic touch and ignore all your issues.

You tried to momentarily pull away from his face, but he had you in his grip and you were too entranced by his grip to properly make the effort to get your heat away from his warm tongue. Instead, you pushed on the lever that you had seen Cheol use only once or twice, unsure of what it did but it was the best option. You pushed it as far as it went, and the ship began turning away from your intended course, and by extension, away from the collision course.

“Thank you. We wish you good luck on your further travels,” the voice from the larger ship sounded through the intercom once again. “No problem, you too!” you managed to say before turning away from the control panel, Cheol’s grip on you only losing for a second as he took his mouth off of you, only to sit you down in the pilot’s seat. This time you weren’t focused on staying on the course however, instead the chair was turned away from the panels and the vast universes outside the ship, instead, you had a very cocky Seungcheol on his knees in front of you. Your cunt was on display and dripping as you awaited his touch yet again.

“You seemed to be a little distracted just now,” he chuckled. You scowled, but not for long, your neediness taking control of you once again as you pushed Cheol’s face back to your arousal, which he lapped up with fervor, the stress of the moment gone just as it had come, the incident being largely forgotten by the both of you afterward.

This was one of the biggest mistakes you could have made on your journey. Forgetting where you were going, forgetting that your newly found safe haven on the ship would only last as long as nothing burst your fragile bubble.

Days passed, and your waking hours flew past you almost as fast as the space around you did.

A single blip showed up at the edge of one of the monitors in the cockpit. Blinking bright blue, your spacecraft flew closer with each day. Neither of you paid any attention to it. The both of you relied on the autopilot mode to guide you to Lumen, even if your initial direction was based on nothing more than what San had told you months ago.

The change of course hadn’t made a difference to your daily routine until you saw the desolate planet in front of you. When you had spotted it one morning in the distance, you had presumed it to be an optical illusion. There wasn’t supposed to be much of anything out here, but you could very clearly see a small planet, darker than the surrounding space, with only the lights of ships to reveal that it was anything other than space junk or a meteor.

Dark and wet, it lay lonely in the universe. Your fuel had begun emptying after weeks of nonstop flying, you would need to stop at one place or another sometime soon. Changing courses away from the prison planet now would only make suspicion arise from the watchtowers on the planet. There was no denying it: Phylaca would be your next stop.

“We need to put on our best act, we fucked up y/n, let’s make it quick…” Cheol tumbled as you both watched the planet becoming bigger and bigger from the cockpit’s large window. “As long as they don’t find out anything about who we are or why we’re here, everything will be fine,” you agreed, the doubt evident in your voice and the way you were biting your cheek to distract you from the sense of doom you were experiencing.

Docking at Phylaca’s spaceport was unexpectedly easy, the man who had answered the intercom had welcomed you to land on one of the less crowded docks before they could come to meet you. You had worried they would take you as pirates or something worse since you weren’t authorized to be there, but the man on the speaker had jokingly called you out on “not exactly looking like a pirate ship.” You weren’t sure how you should take that, but you were thankful that it had let you both safely land on the planet.

A guard was coming closer, he didn’t look like most guards you had seen before, he was rather short and his stature was on the smaller side. His presence, however, was enormous. The way he carried himself made you a bit nervous as he approached. You went out to meet him, hoping it wasn’t all a ploy to get you and Cheol arrested, he stayed behind inside the ship, having been convinced that it would be safer if nobody had seen him on Phylaca at all. San had recognized him as a level 1 automaton, even though most people can’t tell the difference at all, who was to say that nobody else would?

“Hey,” the man said and reached out a hand, “Welcome to Phylaca, the intergalactic prison.”

You had to swallow hard to not reveal how nervous that made you. “Hey, me and my crew were hoping that we could stay here for just a little while, just until we can restock on some supplies and fuel. We’ll be out of your hair before you can even count to 10!” You rambled, not much thought going into what you were saying even though your brain was running in circles trying not to say anything stupid.

His features were sharp, delicate in some way, he stared at you expressionless as he listened.

“That soon? On the run or something?” He said, the same expressionless eyes staring at you suspiciously.

Fuck, you had already fucked it all up. You would die in prison and they would probably send Cheol back to earth and he would forget everything and you would be left here all alone for all of eternity! You wanted to cry. The guard must’ve noticed, because as he saw the tears trying their hardest not to fall from your bottom lashes his expression let up, eyebrows knitting worriedly together and he reached out a hand, “No, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

The tears fell, and you wiped them off, pulling back from the hand the guard had reached out for you. “I was only kidding, okay? I’m gonna tell you a secret, yeah?”

Your tears were gone, you mind a huge question mark as the guard you had been speaking to for about two minutes had 1. Made you cry, 2. Guess your life’s story in two seconds, and 3. Wants to tell you a secret so you won’t cry??

Who was this man?

“You’re not the first person who has ended up here while on the run, and I’ll help if you are! That’s my secret…” he whispered, looking at you with a curious eye. Was he waiting for you to respond to him disclosing what was most likely highly restricted information to you just because you were tired and scared?

“Uhm…” you were speechless, “I’m y/n, I’d love help…”

“Oh wow, okay that was much easier than it usually is. Hi y/n, I’m Hongjoong,” he gave you a gentle smile now, somehow reassuring you that you would be okay, even if you had just been offered illegal help from what you figured was basically a corrupt guard.

“What? He just agreed to help us? A Phylaca guard agreed to restock our storage and fuel tank. Just like that?” Cheol was in disbelief, you nodded with big eyes, barely believing it yourself.

“I mean, it’s possible that he only said he would because I was crying and he wanted some time to get more guards to come and arrest us… but he seemed very nice!”

He was in shock, and he was scared, you could see it in his face before he hid it in his hands, rubbing away the worries as much as possible.

“He… did he not want anything in return?” He finally asked. You were silent for a moment. “Y/n. What did he ask you to do in return for this huge favor?”

His voice was stern, and you would need to tell him eventually anyhow.

“…he wants us to help one of his acquaintances get off of Phylaca…” you mumbled, a bit scared of how he would react to you agreeing to host strangers on your ship.

“You invited refugees from a prison to our ship?”

“…I did.”

He stared at you, his expression hard to read.

“Can we run before they get here?”

“I don’t think we should…”

“…Fine, let’s wait for them, whoever they are. But if it turns out they’re literal murderers or something, we should kick them off sooner rather than later,” he said before standing up. You were standing by the door, not having gotten much further into the room created for the kitchen staff on the ship, the room that you had deemed safe enough for Cheol to stay in while you went outside to meet Hongjoong.

He walked to you, taking your face in his hands, “Thank you for coming back safely, even if this deal might get us killed in the end.”

You chuckled but was interrupted when Cheol leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

The ship was ready to lift, but the docks were even emptier than you had seen them during the entire time you had been on Phylaca. Hongjoong hadn’t talked to you much since that first day. He had sent notes along with the supplies he had sent over. It was terrifying each time a delivery was made, you never knew if this was the day you would be found out and arrested. But Hongjoong had turned out to be trustworthy, and you had kept your own promise of staying to help out his acquaintances in need too, at least so far.

“They haven’t shown yet?” Cheol asked when he came back to the cockpit where you sat, prepared to lift the moment your new passengers were on the ship.

“Nope, Hongjoong said that they would show up about now… should we leave if they don’t come?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they will come after us if we leave…we don’t know how much we should trust that guard if we break our deal.”

He was right, you needed to wait; you needed to keep your promise to make it off Phylaca safely. If you had done all this just to get arrested while leaving the planet, it would’ve all been in vain.

You waited, the silence of the empty-looking planet feeling increasingly eerie.

Then you spotted them, you gasped, they were running. Two people were running towards you. You couldn’t see them clearly, they were too far away at first. You recognized the jacket on one of them, it belonged to the guard on Phylaca. The other person was seemingly wearing matching clothes. Were they criminals? What had you gotten yourselves into?

You didn’t call for Cheol to come look, but he noticed the way you tensed up as you saw them coming closer and the way your breath hitched in your throat when you finally saw them. You recognized one of them from the big plasma screens. His face had been everywhere. Even though you hadn’t been looking much at any of the members standing beside the man you had found out was the idol you were talking to in secret, you could recall his face lit up with the cold blue lights in the evening. He was one of the 53V3NT33N members. D1N0. One of the members Cheol had been forced to leave behind when he ran. He was here, on Phylaca.

Cheol stood frozen beside you. They stopped just a couple hundred feet away, the other person blocking the view of D1N0’s face. Something was happening, you didn’t know what, but when you saw the guards you didn’t even care anymore. You weren’t going to get caught here, not like this. D1N0 had stayed behind. He pushed the other person forward, and simply watched as they ran toward the ship. They ran away from him, away from the guards, and towards you and Cheol.

They were the acquaintances Hongjoong had spoken of, they were supposed to leave with you. Both of them. But only one of them got on board. Cheol was still frozen, you weren’t sure if he was even there anymore. You couldn’t wait. The stranger that had run on board was safe.

You left the docks, hearing a faint, “No!” You knew it was Cheol, but the instinct to get you all to safety was greater than his shouts for you to turn back. He could’ve overpowered you and made you go back, but he didn’t even think that far. He ran to the doors that would’ve led him outside. A large bang echoed through the metal hallways of the spacecraft along with a pained sob. You didn’t know if it came from Cheol or your new passenger.

But there was nothing to step onto, only space. The view of D1N0 was soon lost, you didn’t want any of you to see what would happen to him as he stayed on Phylaca.

You didn’t want to know what you had done as you left without him.

Cheol was quiet. So quiet.

He said nothing, he barely looked at you. It felt like a stab in the back each time he looked away from you when you even looked his way or opened your mouth.

The bang had come from Cheol making a dent in the interior of the ship, wrecking his hand in the meantime. You had looked at his broken hand in horror, the sight of his skin cracked but without a single drop of blood or bone showing made you queasy.

The stillness of the ship continued for days. Your new passenger having shut themselves away from the both of you, it was different than Cheol, but the silence was crushing anyhow. There was nowhere to go, you were stuck right there, in the middle of the universe.

You used everything San had taught you back at Specus to help heal Cheol’s hand. With bandages and thread, you sewed and patched his cracked skin over the mechanical workings of his broken self. It didn’t help him deal with his real pain though, you knew that.

You couldn’t understand either of their pain completely, but you tried. He didn’t want you to try. He was hurt and he wanted you to feel as alone as he did, you knew he just didn’t want to be completely alone in his pain. So you let him stay as he was: quiet and angry.

He didn’t touch you anymore. He didn’t talk to you. He didn’t even care to respond to a single question you asked for over a week. You cried yourself to sleep each night, and did your best to create a new daily routine now that everything had changed into this still place of pain and dark glances thrown your way.

You had begun blaming yourself, you had made the choice, maybe you did deserve to be shut out by everyone.

You waited for days for him to take the first step, to tell you that he was ready to talk about it all, to tell you that he wasn’t mad about the choice you had made. He never did. He didn’t say a word. The solitude continues for all three of you on your lonely spacecraft on your way to a planet that didn’t exist…

It continued until you felt yourself going mad, the days had melted together in a bad way, the only emotion you had felt was gray and sticky and you hated it. You had begun hating yourself because of it.

“Cheol.” Was all you said to him, startling him where he sat staring into space from the cockpit. You stood a couple steps away from him, closer to the door than to the man who seemed like a shell of who he had been before Phylaca.

At first, he only responded with silence, but after a moment words formed. “Do you know why I had the phone you called in the first place?”

His voice sounded raspy and repressed as if he was choking on the syllables. You shook your head in response. He didn’t see you, but he continued.

“I convinced the management that I needed a phone that wasn’t connected to the network so that in case anything bad happened to me or the members, I would be able to contact help even when our communication devices didn’t work.”

His voice wasn’t more than a choked whisper. The words still felt like a slap to the face.

“Everything I have ever said, done, and felt has always been meant to help my members, they’re my family. Instead, I used what I had gained in the name of helping them, to ruin everything. I did it all for my own selfish desires. Can you understand how much shame and guilt is crushing me every day? Every minute I spend away from them. Not even knowing if they’re okay.”

You had nothing to say. What could you say? Could any of your words comfort him at all? Could you make him the slightest bit happier right now? Could you ever manage to keep him happy? Distracting him from all the disasters of the universe wasn’t possible, so what could you do?

Instead, you continued to say nothing. Your body fell back against the cold metal wall behind you. You couldn’t say a single word to help him, but you could let him say all the words he needed to say to help himself.

He stayed quiet for a while. Your shuffling as you slid down to the floor against the wall told him you were still there. His figure slumped back against the chair he sat in.

“I just, I can’t believe I actually left them all to fucking deal with all of this by themselves. I don’t even know if they made it out alive.” He began, voice still strained as he tried to hide everything that wished to rip him apart from within. “I was supposed to be there for them, to be their leader who stood by them no matter what. And you know what, I took pride in that, I was so proud to be the one to support those guys even in the situation we were in.”

You stayed quiet. Quiet tears streamed down your face as you listened.

“How could I just leave? What? Because I was scared of forgetting this? I could’ve stayed, I could’ve figured something out.” He was beginning to sound angry now.

“Cheol, no. You know you couldn’t have. This was the only way… wasn’t it?” You whispered, the tears clouding your eyes as you watched the back of his head.

“I- I don’t know anymore y/n. Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly at all, maybe I was actually sick like they said…” he sighed.

Your heart was in your throat, swallowing hard you decided to say your peace as well. “So… because you loved someone- no, because you loved me, you’re gonna blame yourself for everything that has happened? That feels like you’re actually blaming me, you know?”

This made him turn around. His features were tired and his skin was dull. He hadn’t been taking care of himself at all.

“Y/n, stop it. You know this isn’t your fault.” He mumbled. Tired eyes looking at your tear-stained face.

“No, maybe it is. You would’ve never broken the rules, they would’ve never found out and you would’ve never been almost rebooted. And most importantly - if you had never loved me you wouldn’t have had to abandon your family.”

“Please, just stop that y/n.” He groaned and let his head fall back, eyes closed, he was in pain. You didn’t know if it was physical or mental. Nevertheless, you wanted him to listen as well. You were in pain too.

“What? Am I making you feel bad for thinking it’s me that’s the problem and not the goddamn company that put you through it all from the start? Am I making you feel like you’re making me feel with all of your talk of how ashamed you feel that you left that life behind? Because I know, I remember how out of everything horrible in your life back then, those boys were the only thing that made you happy while you were there… So please, stop beating yourself up, Cheol. The past has already happened, we managed to get out right? What makes you think the others weren’t as lucky as we were?”

He stayed quiet for a while. His silence made your heart drop. You needed to ask him straight up.

“Do you blame me? Do you hate me?” Your voice wasn’t more than a whisper, but he heard you. It was impossible for him not to.

“I-” he tried, but his voice broke. The tears welled in your eyes. You wanted to fight for what you two had, but if he blamed you… whatever you had might be too far from saving.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

You forced yourself to say it, you couldn’t walk away from him. Even if he hated you, you refused to be the one to leave.

“It’s not that I hate you, I just hate how it hurts. Because it really fucking hurts. I’m in pain every single second and I don’t know how to make it stop.” His voice was breaking as tears streamed down his face. “But, I… I can’t lose you too.”

You placed the back of your hand over your mouth, trying to somehow hold back the pain that wanted to consume you from the inside.

“We should’ve tried saving Dino…”

You got up from your corner, your arms finally letting your legs go, replacing your own arms around your body with Cheol’s. He hugged you. Tightly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. It was relieving to say it. He had been in a shame spiral for the past few weeks. He just hadn’t noticed. Still, you stayed with him, waited for him, listened to him. He wanted to repay you for all of it.

Weeks passed yet again. Things got better, slowly but surely. You talked to each other. You were beginning to forgive each other for those weeks after Phylaca. It wasn’t easy.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, sleep, and repeat. Small conversations, still trying not to start up another fight. It was exhausting.

The stranger still wasn’t speaking much, too wrapped up in their own mind to be able to share the pain they kept inside. Not that either of you were sharing your struggles with them anyhow. It was a mutual understanding that all three of you needed some space, even as you were trapped together in space. Galaxies passed you by, and you found yourself passing time by watching the tiny lights fly past the large windows from the cockpit.

Sometimes, Cheol sat with you. Holding your hand, comforting you without words just like he had been that day when this had all begun. That helped. It helped both of you; knowing that neither of you actually wanted to abandon what you had, even after everything.

When something finally showed up in front of your ship, only a small planet, not much bigger than the moon of the earth, you didn’t allow yourself to get your hopes up.

After so many months, this was probably only another uninhabited planet with a poisonous atmosphere.

“I don’t wanna get your hopes up, Cheol, but this planet looks so much like earth…” you shouted to Cheol who was trying to get your guest to eat some of the lunch from earlier, with very little success.

If this was Lumen, maybe everything would be okay.

Maybe the void of space you had been traveling through had an end after all, despite the overwhelming feeling of being trapped and that you would all end up wasting away inside the ship on your long journey.

But if this was it…

You let the ship continue straight ahead. Cheol and your guest joined you in the cockpit after hearing your shouts across the deck.

All three of you watched as the planet became bigger. You could see water, and green patches everywhere. Clouds! There were clouds and an atmosphere surrounding the small planet.

You had gone off autopilot, Cheol helping you steer the ship toward the planet. You circled it, trying to draw attention to yourselves through the intercom system. No sign of life was heard until a small voice came through, a child. “Hello! Are you aliens??” The child asked over the crackling of the coms.

You wanted to shout, there was life here!

“Hello? We’re outside of your airspace, our registration is BO883628K, and we are requesting permission to land!” You shouted back.

“What are you doing?!” Another voice could be heard, the small child squealed and the crackling disappeared. You were scared the last shot at landing somewhere had been lost forever, but the other voice came back after just a moment.

“Hey? Who is this?”

Your body was tense, nerves firing uncontrollably as you explained your errand yet again.

“Of course, welcome to Lumen, wanderers.”

You yelped, “Lumen?! We found it?” You were jumping up and down, laughing and shouting as you felt all your worries leaving your body. Your new home was right below you, welcoming you with a warm embrace and new hope.

“Yes, you found it,” the voice crackled, you could hear them chuckling a bit at your excited yelling. “There are bigger docks located northeast of your current location, go there to land safely.”

You found a house, outside one of the small towns near the docks. You had nothing to give in return for the hospitality the diverse population of Lumen offered you, Cheol, and your newest passenger.

They didn’t care, they told you that most of the people there had already been through the same suffering that you all had. Anyone who made it to Lumen was treated like family, nobody was to be left empty-handed just because they were strangers to the people.

“Is this really here? Am I dead or asleep or something?” You said in wonder, grasping at Seungcheol’s arm. You stood in your new kitchen, it was simple, but airy. The view from the kitchen showed the sunny forest lying just behind the garden and the porch.

“If you’re dreaming I’m dreaming with you.” He laughed hysterically. “But I think it might be real…”

You jumped into Cheol’s embrace, hugging and kissing him like the past few weeks had all been a bad dream, like this was your true reality and everything bad could be forgotten completely.

He seemed happy as well, looking around the large house with you, coming up with ways you could improve the place, and how you could make the vegetable garden prosper once again. It was overgrown and run down, everything had been left to its own devices. But it was vacant, and the townspeople had agreed that you two would be wonderful as the new owners of the house. It was a short forest walk back to the town, where you had parted from your quiet passenger, telling them that they were welcome any day and that you would always have a spare room and a shoulder to cry on. It made Cheol happy, somehow trying to make up for the fact that you had lost D1N0 on Phylaca through this person that he must’ve cared about more than his own life.

“Do you think they will be able to find their way here too? The members, I mean. Like we did?” You whispered, resting your head on Cheol’s shoulder, your hand in his. You watched the dark green leaves swaying in the summer breeze, the flowers following the sun that shone more than it was gone, and the grass on the ground scenting the air you breathed in.

“I hope so, I think they will know eventually.”

“Know what?” You said and looked at him.

“That we’re here.”

You tilted your head. “How would they know to find us here of all places?”

“Remember the secret I had with San on the first ship?” He said and smiled, embarrassed about something.

You nodded. Not quite understanding what he meant yet.

“I told him to tell anyone he met that might be related to us. Actually, I told him to let anyone like us know that if we got here, we would offer a home for them to rest at.”

Tears welled in your eyes, he had been thinking of everyone else this entire time. Not once had he let himself be entirely selfish, you squeezed his hand, bringing it up to your lips and pressing a thankful kiss to his soft skin.

“I think they will come, eventually.”

The years passed on Lumen. You and Cheol had made a home for yourselves. A home that would be open for any runaways, robot, alien, and human alike. It was safe, happy, and hopeful because one day everything might be absolutely perfect in your new home.

The spare rooms of your new house would exist for them if they could ever get to their leader. The thought helped him continue, to live life to the fullest until they could join him. It comforted you as well, knowing that he had some hope left and that maybe he could let go of some of the guilt you knew he carried with him each day, and instead let himself be proud of something once again.

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

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#svt sci-if collab #kwritersworldnet #sci-fi Seungcheol #Seungcheol smut #s.coups smut #Seungcheol angst #seventeen #kpop sci-fi #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen sci-fi #svt #choi seungcheol #svt smut #seventeen smut #seventeen angst

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lavendermunson · 1 year

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enchanted | knight!eddie munson x princess!reader

summary Eddie never saw you again after that night, you both were ten years old and sitting in a piano, just a couple of kids enjoying each others company but since you were a princess with an arranged marriage, you got trapped in a castle. You never saw Eddie again but he did, getting close to your windows to watch you, you grew to be the most beautiful he has ever seen. A re-encounter might change the world, even put upside down two different kingdoms.

tags +18, afab!reader, perv!eddie, mentions of jason craver sorry, best friends to lovers kind of relationship, masturbation reader and eddie, mentions of food in a nsfw way, set in some fairytale, mention of low self-steem. one use of y/n just one i swear it’s you won’t even remember it. i tried to be as inclusive as possible so i didn’t mention anything about the reader’s, no skin color, no hair color, no body type, if i missed something tell me! i want everyone to read this and picture themselves as a princess, although i did used she/her pronouns and the reader was born in autumn. mentions of death eddie’s mom

a/n i pictured a lot of princess from disney and also toon inspiration from bridgerton, it’s the first time i write something so long so forgive me for any mistakes. if you want me to keep writing this story don’t forget to mention it :)

wc 2.4k… i surprised myself

moodboard | next chapter

A few years ago two kingdoms decided to unite, building a wall to protect them both and agreeing on sharing everything. With this agreement also came the rule of “arrange the marriage of their second born children at the age of 20” The two of them being born in the same year made it easier for it to be more under control, thanks to their older siblings being already married or out of town.

Prince Jason, from the Craver family, was born in the light of the summer, and with it came his whole personality. He isn’t much of a charming young man, his soft hair shines under every light, even the fire, what’s supposed to be aggressive and dangerous. The boy used it in his favor, lighting his room every time he got a new girl on his bed from one of his famous parties.

From the second kingdom, Princess Y/N from the Willow family was born in autumn, just in time when the trees start to let go of their orange-colored leaves. She was a quiet girl, always surrounded by books, avoiding parties, and helping her mom grow all kinds of flowers. She’s never had a boyfriend, and always tried to keep herself busy until the day of her wedding, which she named “the end of her life”.

She didn’t like Jason, at family dinners, he always had a girl in his arms, he wasn’t polite and he was irresponsible. Didn’t have what it took to be a good prince, let aside the new king. The princess was about to turn 20, in three weeks exactly, she was scared of her future because she had too much more to learn, to see, to experience.

—

At the start of the cold winter, Eddie was born, the same year as the prince and the princess, his friends always joked about that “If you were born into the Craver family, you would’ve married the princess” he always laughed about that, knowing that only happened in his dreams, one time, after a private Christmas dinner with the Royalty, when his uncle Wayne became the Willow king’s right hand. Eddie was being trained by his uncle, in sword fights, first aid, horse riding, everything to serve as a knight to the Willow kingdom and to keep him close, but the long-haired boy hated it, he wanted to play guitar, play piano, conquer every instrument in existence, he loved music thanks to his mom who unfortunately died when he was a little boy.

Eddie had an innocent crush since that dinner, he was 10 the same as you, and you showed him the piano and started playing with it.

“You should come here and take classes with me, I'm pretty sure you’re going to be better than me. You have talent, Eds” You said.

“She said I can take classes with her, Wayne.” little Eddie begged his uncle to let him go “Pleaaase”

“No way son, you have to start training,” the older man said, with a frown on his face.

Since that day, you never saw Eddie again, but he did, when he gets a little too close to the kingdom and stares at your living room window where you read, every day, at 5 pm. He watches you bite your bottom lip when you flip the pages gently, your fingers rub the words as you furrow your eyebrows, he realizes he is head over heels for you.

—

It was a Sunday, the air was cold and the clouds were getting in the way of the sun making its light a little bit dim. Eddie grabbed a horse and some grapes, to keep him company while he watched you read, it wasn’t weird, right? He wasn't doing anything wrong, just an innocent act of… spying. His uncle stopped him after hearing the loud steps of the horse.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going for a ride, just to clear my head”

“No, you get back here young man” The voice of his uncle was louder, firmer, Eddie whined at the old man with a frustrated look on his face “Did you forget tomorrow you start working for real? We have to get you ready”

“Ready? I’m ready Wayne I just need a little time to myself”

“Nonsense, get back here you have to clean your armor”

They both get back in the little house, Eddie sighed as his uncle showed him the new armor.

“But it’s clean!” Eddie whined again, Wayne eyed his nephew annoyed, and tossed a cloth into the young boy’s chest.

“It’s not, it has to shine,” he said, Eddie sighed again, defeated. “C’mon”

Eddie stayed home that day, the first day he skipped his little spying routine, and thank god he did because what happened that day at 5 pm would’ve broken his heart.

“Just one kiss, please?” Jason said to you, getting the book out of your hands and throwing it aside.

“You are drunk at 5 pm? What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing! Just kiss me” he leaned in closer to your face, fingers touching your jaw “We are getting married, don’t you remember?”

“I do, I think about it every day and it makes me so sick, now I have a migraine because of your little tantrum” You push him away, and with all the strength in your body, gravity played a little turn and betrayed you, making you fall on top of him on the floor.

“Are we going to practice?” Jason had a grin on his face, his hands tightening on your waist. You get up quickly at the feeling of his touch, fixing up your dress you leave the room, not after scoffing at him and his absurd behavior.

—

On Monday, the kingdoms were throwing a celebration in honor of King Craven’s 60th birthday. Everyone in town was celebrating, having a big party for themselves with the excuse of their least-favorite King. The servants were getting the party started, Queen Craven decided to go with a ball instead of a casual dinner, where people from other towns would come to see the castle and have fun with beautiful gowns and expensive jewelry.

After Eddie met with the Willow king and queen, his new job was taking care of their little princess. He was excited about it but also nervous. He’s getting a chance to spend time with you, to watch you for a few more minutes than usual. It was a new sensation for him, some kind of anxiety mixed with enthusiasm, walking around with a heavy metal armor over his body relaxed him a bit, it was making pressure on his chest so his heart wouldn’t burst out, the only ‘bad’ thing was he didn’t have to wear a helmet, he was afraid his grin was too big on his face and decided to look for an empty room to make a little dance of celebration.

Finally one of the doors opens, and thanks to his bad luck he finds your room. You are currently in a large undergarment, looking at yourself in the mirror and making a disgusted face. You didn’t have a corset on because you hated them, but something was off with your self-esteem that day.

“Sorry, sorry i-” he said, stunned to speak at the sight of the beautiful princess. He also dreamed of seeing your body, it was better than his imagination would have pictured. The parts of your naked skin were glowing, he closed his fist trying to keep himself on edge, the desire of touching you, feeling your soft skin with his fingertips, and placing kisses all over you made Eddie turn around quickly, closing his eyes in an attempt to memorize what he just saw.

“Wait! Don’t go!” you said, getting in your dress as quickly as possible as he touched the door handle “Can you tie up my dress? It’s pretty difficult for me since i can’t reach”

Eddie opened his eyes wider, trying to ease his breathing and slowly coming up to you ‘Your wish is my command’ he said to himself.

He nods in your direction and gets closer, you move your hair to one side so Eddie can tie up the dress easier, and with his big fingers, he takes the laces of the dress tightening up a little, and makes a secure knot on your back.

“Please make sure you add a bow, i-it looks better that way” You peek your head over your shoulder for a second, he nods again and tries to make a proper bow, but it turned out nicely than he thought.

He rests his hands on your waist, looking at your reflection in the mirror, you keep checking if the dress looks good and trying to fix some parts of it that look loose. You didn’t mind Eddie’s touch, you knew who he was and what he was doing here (kind of). You were happy inside, you always wanted Eddie as a friend since that night when you were kids, and now you can keep him close, even better, speak to him and get to know him.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you say, getting out of your pool of thoughts.

“You remember me?” he asks, eyebrows crinkled on his face, and you giggle looking at his surprised face.

“How could I forget such a pretty face?” Eddie flushes instantaneously.

“Me? You are the one who looks speechless” you blush, the little flirt game making your heart flutter.

“You think so? I believe this dress has something wrong, do you?”

Eddie takes his time to reply, looking at your reflection again he keeps looking for the mistake you were searching for earlier, but he seems to miss it. He gets brave enough to trace your waist and torso with his fingers, going up from your back and resting his hands on your exposed shoulders, rubbing them delicately. You shiver at his touch, something that you have never felt before, your tummy starts to feel funny and your breath hitches, the boy behind you is quick to notice your little squirm, he laughs at it and gently takes his hands off you, you miss his touch already.

“I don’t think so, it looks… you look really good” he says, giving you a look of reassurance. He misses your skin too, it’s been just a couple of seconds since his fingers ignited with your warm skin and now his hands are too cold for his liking. You turn around in a quick twist, locking eyes with him.

“So… you work here now,” you ask him, getting lost in his chocolate eyes.

“Yes, from now on”

“What do you have to do?” His cheeks feel warm being close to you, now he hates the armor that protects his chest from the warmth of your body.

“I have to take care of you, actually” You are quick to notice he is trying to hide a big smile “Your mom kept talking about your little trips to the outside and she wants someone to protect you”

“You think I need protection?” you cross your arms in front of your chest, Eddie brings his attention to your little act trying to look tough and he gets lost in your cleavage for a minute.

“N-no, I’m sure you are fine” he shakes his head and finds your eyes again “Since you’ve been back without a scratch i know you got everything under control, i mean… she only wants to keep me close to you so she can relax” he curses at himself for feeling so nervous all of a sudden, the fact that he didn’t know about your trips to the woods outside the kingdoms makes his blood boil, he kept tabs on you every day, all day, how did he miss this?

“I’m pretty sure she thinks there are monsters out there” you laugh, covering your mouth with your hand “i only go out to read, sometimes i need to clear my head and be somewhere new, you know?” He nods, he understands perfectly, that’s what he said to his uncle just yesterday.

“Yes, but now I'll be doing my job and watching you” ‘like i used to’ he thinks to himself.

“Alright, i don’t mind you doing your job” You roll your eyes and turn around “I have to keep getting ready, can you wait outside?”

“Yes, of course” he leans his head to the front and you giggle at his movements “I’ll leave you to it”you giggle at his movements “I’ll leave you to it”

“I’ll take a lot of time, you can just go get some food and I’ll find you in the kitchen”

“If you need something i’ll be there, i have to take you to the Craven kingdom in an hour”

“Perfect, i’ll find you there” he leaves your room after listening to your words, you look at him with a soft smile before he closes the door and you run to the bathroom to clear your head.

You quickly realize you miss his touch on your body, the pool on your panties confirms it. You lift your dress and sit on the edge of the bathroom, reaching for your pussy and rubbing your clit over your clothes with your fingers, closing your eyes, and trying to focus on him. His masculine scent comes back to you, remembering his fingers touching you and the way he looked so good in that armor, you made sure to remember he had been working out to get the job. Your imagination takes you far beyond, it was almost as you were listening to his moans, but no, it can be, he is in the kitchen at this moment. Maybe he is eating a tiny cookie with his big hands, crust getting all over his mouth, maybe he is eating a cupcake while he gets frosting over his fingers and he sucks them clean, eating the bottom part while licking at his sugary lips.

But you were wrong, he wasn’t in the kitchen, he came back a couple of seconds after you went into the bathroom. He wanted to ask you something before you had to be in a public space, surrounded by people he didn’t like. But you weren’t there, he got worried for a second until his ears started ringing, recognizing your voice through the bathroom door and your shaky moans. His cock got hard just hearing you breathe in and out with a fast rhythm, he quickly got his hand under his pants and started to rub his dick, moaning at your pretty noises not noticing you could hear him, he managed to run to a bathroom close to your room to release his cum and wash his hands after. You did the same in your bathroom, quickly cleaning your cum so it doesn’t drip onto your clothes.

If that’s how both of you get after seeing each other for less than an hour, it would be worse when you have to be together day and night.

sorry i ended up like this :) if you want more i’ll be happy to write it, leave some ideas of what should happen next i’ll be reading you ♡ feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR!

tags: @stephanie-nicks76 ty for commenting luv. join my taglist in the form or comment here

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teyamsatan · 1 year

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Illicit Affairs | Chapter VII: Hoax

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Tensions erupt when Neteyam confronts you about something he saw. His secret comes out at the worst time, leaving you both in pieces.

Warnings: (a little) smut (18+, Minors DNI), angst, mentions of blood mentions of death, injury, pills, pill addiction, opioid addiction, disease, cursing, some fluff + all the feels.

Word Count: 9,5k words (holy mother)

A/N: This is it, guys! Where tensions explode and secrets come come out, hearts are bound to be broken. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I put everything into it. I cried whilst writing it, I laughed whilst writing it, pretty sure I experienced the full spectrum of human emotions whilst doing this. Also, I have ignored my actual work to finish it, so if I fail my annual progression review, at least it would have been worth it. Let me know what you think, and as always, thank you for everyone who is reading is and asked to be tagged <;3

"My only one, my kingdom come undone My broken drum, you have beaten my heart Don't want no other shade of blue, but you No other sadness in the world would do"

“There are perks with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.”

Fuck.

“Lo’ak… be serious.”

“I am serious, Angel. You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember. You have always been the only one to see me for more than just a freak, or a fuck-up, or a disappointment. You see me.”

The younger Sully boy gently cupped you face in his hand; he was caressing your cheek with his thumb. Using a little force, he willed your face upwards so you could look up at his face; you were surprised to see the intensity in his eyes.

You placed your hand on his arm, and you hoped by slowly massaging it, it would relax him enough to soften your following words.

“Lo’ak… I do see you. You are an incredible person. You have been there for me my whole life, and I will be forever grateful to you. You have been the only one who constantly chose the dark stuffy lab to the beauty of this world because the labs had me in it, you were closest to my mum and she loved you like you were her own. I think you are the most amazing guy there is and I think your mate will be the luckiest girl there is. But that’s not me, Lo’ak. You know that can’t be me.”

His hand dropped from your face and both of his hands took yours in them, squeezing them ardently.

“But it is you. It has to be you.”

“Kehe (no). Lo’ak, you are my best friend. I am your best friend. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, but the love we have for each other is not the kind of love one needs to be mated for life.”

You spoke softly, looking at him pleadingly, hoping that he would understand your words in the way that you intend them. You can see his gaze drop and form deflate, being replaced by a meek one, a shadow of his former self.

“Oh… I see.” He was now turning his back to you, trying to leave without looking you in the eye. You were not going to let that happen.

“I’m not letting you leave.” You say, keeping his hands tightened in yours. “We will talk about this, and you will recognise I am right.”

Neteyam was having trouble seeing as he was manoeuvring his way through the forest. He felt sick to his stomach and every heartbeat sent waves of hurt through his entire body, like shards of glass gutting him from inside out. How could his own brother do this? How could you do this? He has spent more than two months with you, every day, sending touches and glances your way that were begging to be seen, begging to be acknowledged. He secretly prayed that you would call him out on it, give him a reason to finally tell you that he’s loved you since he was 10 and yearned for your touch since the second his eyes fell on you again after a whole year apart. He wanted you to finally give him a reason to tell everyone to fuck off and let him finally live his life by his own rules, with you by his side.

Neteyam was shaking with tempestuous fury at the unfairness of it all. Lo’ak will always get everything just handed to him on a silver platter, won’t he? Freedom, to make his own choices, to live his life as he wished, carelessly and devoid of any forethought or responsibility. And now he got you, the woman of his dreams - and nightmares - and the future he used to fantasise would one day be his.

His legs were moving without any conscious input from his mind, and before long, he found himself on the way to the clearing you and him used to go to all the time. Your place, just for his and your eyes to see, just for his and your hearts to experience. As he was nearing, he heard soft sounds emerging from the spot, and he slowly, carefully approached with a bow at the ready and all his senses heightened.

“We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…

I rent a place on Cornelia Street, I say casually in the car…”

Soft strumming and the most beautiful voice he has ever heard, a voice that he would recognise anywhere, for the rest of time, made him drop the bow he was gripping tightly. That song, Neteyam thought with a wince, and let himself remember.

“This piece of heaven is our Cornelia Street.”

“What’s Cornelia Street?”

“Well, it’s a place back on Earth where one of her houses used to be, but in this case, it’s a metaphor. Cornelia Street is to them what this clearing is to us.”

A month before your 17th birthday is the last day Neteyam saw you. He was coming to say goodbye. You didn’t know that, and, in your enthusiasm at seeing him after such a long time because of his training, or so he told you, you suggested coming here. Neteyam remembers everything about that day. He didn’t sleep that night, cried himself to sleep quietly in his family’s tent thinking of the possibility of not seeing you again, for a long time, perhaps forever. He had decided that his mum was right. Being around you was hurting you both, and maybe by leaving, both of you could heal and move on. He wouldn’t have to live with causing you more pain than you already had to deal with, and you wouldn’t have to go outside, something that you were only doing for him, it seemed. It was a win-win, he thought, and yet his heart was torn apart, coming apart at the seams of wounds that barely healed.

You were sitting on the ground, resting your back on a rock by the river bank, with the same guitar in your hands you have had since you were young. Neteyam thought he probably heard thousands of songs being played on that guitar, countless hours laying just like he was now, hearing you sing. He did not like humans, could not understand them, their world, their traditions, their beliefs, but watching you strum that guitar and singing about your love, a love neither of you could ever say out loud except in this way, he realised humans did some things right. Humanity did you right.

“We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home”

Neteyam watched you intently, and was trying to assimilate the lyrics as best he could, knowing this was always your preferred method of communication, knowing that through these songs you are confessing your true, buried desires. You looked at him as you sang, giving him a big smile.

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

A year and a half later, inhabiting a new body, you were not smiling anymore as you were playing this, the strumming on the guitar slower and more sorrowful, and your voice sounded hoarse, like you had been crying. Neteyam couldn’t believe that you would come here, in his and your secret place and sing the song you silently confessed your feelings to, after what he saw. He felt his anger poison his body, as his heart picked up pace and made his heartbeat ring painfully in his ears, muffling the sound of your voice.

“I never did walk Cornelia Street again after that day, you know? I kept my promise.”

Neteyam freezes in place, a shocked expression marring his features. You heard him, even with your back to him, even while playing and with the soft hum of the river to dull your senses, you knew. Felt him, his presence that charged this clearing like the air before lighting strike. He, however, does not seem to hear the hint of sadness in your voice, nor the sniffling that accompanies it.

“It took me a while to figure out you weren’t going to come back. It did not dawn on me right away. I thought you were just training hard, as you had been for years at that point, I didn’t think anything of it. I only figured it out a month after I played you this song, when my birthday came and you didn’t show. I waited all day. Way past eclipse, way past the point everyone else was gone and sleeping peacefully, I waited. I didn’t sleep that night. I was afraid I was going to miss you and no one would be able to let you through the door. It never occurred to me you wouldn’t show - not until the dawn of the next day. That’s when it hit.”

“I remember singing you this song, I was terrified. I mean, we talked around it all of our lives, I sang you songs, and I read you poems, and you’d sleep in my bed and let me attach myself to you in a way no friend ever would. But this song, I thought, would be the one. The one that would make us finally have to talk through it. The night before, I had watched an episode of Gilmore Girls, right? And it’s that episode when Dean pitches up at Rory’s school after she drops him hints that she’s in love with him, and he gets mad for one reason or another and then she screams at him “I love you, you idiot!”. And he drops all the stuff he was holding and rushes to her and kisses her, like really kisses her. And I remember thinking, I’m going to sing you this song, and this will be my “I love you, you idiot” moment.”

Neteyam walked slowly towards your form that was still turned around from him, and felt two forces tugging at him, ripping him apart. On one hand, there was the rage, and jealousy, the monster that wanted to scream at you, to hurt you for breaking his heart without even acknowledging it. On the other, there was deep sadness and grief, for the new information that he is receiving, for knowing what this meant to you, what he did to you, how he left you the day that you confessed, how that only strengthened his resolve. He didn’t know which was going to win.

“I never had any expectations. I was never delusional enough to think that you would ever choose me. But I did have dreams. And in the dreams, you told me you loved me too, and that whatever it was, we would always be able to work through it together. That day after my birthday, I felt like something ripped apart in me that I’ve never recovered from. I’ve lost so much of myself throughout the years, every time something new came up. I’ve been in pieces, broken and shattered, my whole life, and yet somehow you managed to walk away with the biggest piece. Because I could never put you in a drawer at the bottom of my desk, like all my other pieces. You were never truly gone, you were just far enough that I could never reach you, but near enough that I could never heal. I mourned you, mourned the me that you took with you, every day for months. Losing you broke me, Neteyam. You broke me. I will never forgive you for that night.”

“Well I guess we’re both fucking disappointed with each other then.”

Neteyam saw you shoulders hunch even more than they were and your head bow towards the ground. You hand raised to your cheeks and wiped something off your face, before you finally stood up and and turned around, facing him. Neteyam’s breath caught in his throat at the new sight. Your eyes were puffy and red, and tears marked your cheeks, so pronounced it was as if they would stain your face forever.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He felt his own tears threatening to spill then, pricking at his eyes painfully, begging to be released. There was so much pain inside of him, pain you caused him, pain for the hurt he knew he caused you, pain that felt like it will never diminish.

“You’re sitting here, talking about that night and this song, in this place that once meant so much to us, after giving yourself to another man, to my fucking brother, and you want me to feel bad?”

He saw your face slowly register his words, as if you were mulling over every word carefully, turning it in your mind, and saw how your face went from sad to cold and unflinching and a shiver ran down his spine. You rose an eyebrow at him, an expression only he seemed to have the power to coax out of you.

“What did you just say?”

“You heard me. I saw you. I saw you in the forest, his hands all over you, I saw you running your hand up and down his arm. I’ve known he has been sneaking in your tent for weeks. What are you doing with my baby brother in your tent late at night, Y/N?”

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE II: ANGER

“You honestly have some fucking nerve, Neteyam.”

“You do not get to come here, come to this place, or any place for that matter and demand an explanation from me. I don’t owe you anything. You fucking left, Neteyam! We’re nothing to each other. Whatever claim or right you might have had once to ask anything of me or from me is long gone.”

Neteyam stalked towards where you were standing, your words echoing in his mind. He was mad, mad at you for what you did, but also mad at himself. Because he knew you were right. He had no right to come here after abandoning you and the relationship you two had and be angry that you moved on. And yet he was.

He was so close to you now he could feel your breath fanning over his face as you looked up at him, panting with anger, lips slightly opened. He couldn’t help look at them, those lips he has dreamed about for years, the way they’d feel on him, their taste… your taste. It was driving him insane, being so close to you, knowing what he knew.

“Why? Why Lo’ak? You could have picked anyone else.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Really? So if I picked Akoa or Tärze, you wouldn’t be here right now, wouldn’t be mad and looking at me like somehow I betrayed you?”

“Or is it possible it doesn’t actually matter who it is, it’s not the fact that it’s Lo’ak… it’s the fact it’s not you.”

“You see, I think deep down you know it should have been you. I think deep down it kills you that you are not in my tent late at night. You’re not the one that gets to touch me.” he felt your hand place over his bare chest and run it down his abdomen until it reached his red loin cloth, which you slightly tugged at. He felt his cock twitch in response.

You don’t know what came over you. You came here to mourn, still reeling after your conversation with Lo’ak. You never expected to see him here, hear his presence while you sang the song that once signified hope and love, and now is just a bitter reminder of all you’ve lost. You definitely never expected him to question you over Lo’ak, or be so angry over something that would never happen anyway.

You were furious with him, furious that he never told you how he felt for you, and now he was clearly showing it to you by his displays of anger and jealousy. This was not how this was supposed to go.

You felt a sick satisfaction at his demeanour. You made him like this, this angry, nose flared and panted breaths, you had this power over him. Just the thought of you with another man drove him to this point, and you loved it. He deserved it, deserves much worse.

“You should leave, Neteyam.”

You started turning your back to him, but he took hold of your arm and kept you in place forcefully. His other hand went to your neck, and you felt him wrapping his hand around it and squeezing.

“No.”

You were shocked at his actions, and even more shocked at the immediate reaction your body had to him. You felt throbbing deep within you, and squeezed your thighs tightly together to accommodate for the feeling.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. Did you fuck my brother, Atan (light)?”

He was still squeezing your throat, and you felt your pulse quickening when he moved and took a hold of you jaw, forcing you to look in his eyes. He looked mad, sad, desperate for an answer that would either mend or break him. You felt his intense stare in every cell in your body and felt yourself clench around nothing.

You wanted to lie, wanted to see him suffer at least some of the hurt he’s caused you. But you couldn’t, not with how he was looking at you, not with how he was holding you.

“Fuck you, Neteyam. I would never do that. Fuck you for thinking for a second that something like would ever even cross my mi-“

It wasn’t possible for you to finish the sentence, as his lips roughly slammed against yours, and you immediately, as if your body needed no input from your mind, raised your hands to the circle around his neck, pushing him closer to you.

You moaned into the kiss, and the sound removed any ounce of sanity or self-discipline from his being, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and slide his tongue over your bottom lip, begging for permission.

He felt his hand drop back around your throat, squeezing, loving the feel of your quickened pulse, knowing he was responsible for it, for your swollen lips and dilated pupils, for the way you were squeezing your thighs together. You were his, to love, to touch, to do whatever he wanted to.

He was so hard now, his loincloth was constricting around him painfully, and he knew if he kept going, he was not going to able to stop himself until you were writhing underneath him, until he made you beg and scream his name over and over, all night long.

“Pathfinder, this is Devil Dog, come in, over.”

Fuck.

Your body ached at the loss of contact, as Neteyam removed his hand from around your throat and his lips from your own. He was panting, and tried to steady himself before he touched the little button on the radio on his neck, sighing deeply.

“I’m here, Devil Dog. What’s your post? Over.”

You turned your back to him, and took a few steps towards the river, trying to compose yourself. What the fuck did I just do? This was bad, for so many reasons, it was making you dizzy just counting them all. You couldn’t hear what Jake was saying to Neteyam, but it couldn’t have been good, it was very rare Jake would use the radio to communicate with his kids, you’ve only seen it once when there was a hunting accident that needed everyone’s attention.

“You need to get back to the village, now. We have a situation. If Y/N is with you, bring her back, too. Over and out.”

Shit, this can’t be good, Neteyam thought to himself. He looked over at you and saw you turned your back to him, hiding. You were good at that, pretending, denying, avoiding. Pushing your feelings aside was your favourite defence mechanism, had been ever since your mum died.

His eyes softened and he felt stupid for having doubted you, for spending so many weeks losing sleep over something that never even happened. Guilt also immediately pooled in his gut from the kiss, the confession, the implications of it, all of which things he would have to deal with sooner or later. The horror at the thought of the consequences of his actions made his skin crawl, but he didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, knowing his dad expected them to hurry.

“Hey… we have to get back, dad said to meet him in the village.”

You nodded weakly in his direction, and started making your way towards the village. Once again, he found himself having to clasp your arm by your wrist and turn you around so you could face him. You refused to look at him, so he cupped your face in his hand and raised you head gently so you could look at him. His thumb was ghosting over your lips, that were still swollen and when his eyes met yours, he saw a sadness so deep it made Pandora’s oceans feel like shallow pools.

“We need to talk, properly talk.”

You just nodded silently and removed his hand from your face, and the last thing he saw was your back, walking away.

You were deep in thought as you arrived in the village, and were pulled out of your musings when you saw a big commotion happening all around you. You have never seen the village like this.

There was a crowd of people by the big bonfire, so that’s where you and Neteyam figured to look first.

“…and no matter what comes next, we will stand and fight, together!” You heard big screams and ululating as Jake’s voice boomed throughout the village, above all the noise.

You saw Norm and Max, all the humans and avatars on the right of the Olo’yektan. On his left stood Mo’at, Neytiri and all their children, plus Spider. Lo’ak was screaming and beating his chest, whilst Kiri looked concerned, and Tuk was almost crying, with a tight grip on her mum’s hand. You made your way through the mass of people, reaching the foot of the large tree stump acting like a platform. Jake spotted you and helped you up, and you saw Neteyam following you from the corner of your eye.

Since the speech was done, people started dissipating, and Jake turned his attention to the pair of you.

“Last night, Neytiri and I spotted a star in the night sky that shone brighter than it ever had before.”

Panic rose in your chest at his words, words that you knew could only mean one thing. “The humans are returning.” you said, meekly.

Jake nodded in your direction with anger flashing across his face, before he composed himself.

“We knew this day was coming, but it is definitely different when it is finally happening than the image you had in your head.” you heard Norm pitch in from somewhere behind Jake.

“How long?” Neteyam asked.

“About a week?” Max said, and the man with such a kind and gentle face was scared, you realised sadly. Everyone was scared.

“Fuck.” Neteyam’s face was unreadable. The war he trained all his life for was finally on his doorstep.

“I need you to complete your Iknimaya before then. Tomorrow, you will go perform your first kill. You are more than ready. It’s time. When the humans come, I need you with me. With us.”

You couldn’t swallow the lump that has formed in your throat enough to speak, so you just nodded. You were not ready. The last time you were on an Ikran, you almost died. You felt the phantom pain on your left leg flare up, and you were terrified at the prospect of another flashback triggering as you were fighting for your life on top of the Hallelujah mountains, trying to make the bond.

The crowd eventually dispersed and everybody went back to their homes. There was a heaviness in the air, no smiles or singing tonight, no communal dinner where people animatedly exchange stories and anecdotes; you saw Na’vi hugging their loved ones, keeping them close at all times, as if letting go would mean letting go forever. The war was upon you, and with it, the possibility of loss and grief settled in the bones of every one of the villagers.

You felt sick to your stomach. A shiver ran through your entire body, and, at the weakness that enveloped your being suddenly, you knew the effects of all the pills you took to mitigate your symptoms have worn off. The dizziness you felt was more than just a weak headache you could ride out, but a sign your human body was fighting to maintain the neurolink inside the pod. You didn’t have much time.

“I’m gonna go to bed. See you all tomorrow.” You needed to be in your tent when you passed out, otherwise it would raise suspicion immediately and you couldn’t afford that.

“Hey, you can’t leave. We still need to talk.” Neteyam said, lightly tugging at your arm.

“Not today, Neteyam.” You removed your limb from his grasp and left without giving him a second look.

You were pulled out of the linkpod quite violently by your own body recoiling in agony. You felt a stupid ping of gratefulness at the fact that, although due to horrible news, at least no one was in the lab or adjacent hubs at the current moment. You struggled to get up, and found the walk back to your room excruciating, like no matter how much you walked, it was not anywhere in sight. When you arrived, you went straight to the bathroom and barely managed to make it to the toilet before throwing up, your body violently convulsing in on itself, trying to expel everything from your body. You haven’t had a proper meal in this body in months, so all your body was managing to get rid of was bile, bitter and acidic on your tongue.

When you were done, you pushed your body weakly towards the sink, and gargled the bad taste away with some water and mouth wash. You peered up at the mirror, and were alarmed by the face that met your gaze. You barely recognised yourself. Your face looked ghastly, the palest you have ever been, the hollows of your cheeks looking like pits of shadows and darkness.

Your under-eye bags gave away how little sleep you were actually functioning under, how little rest you actually got in the last few months. You looked truly sick, although you didn’t know how much of that was the virus and how much it was just you… ignoring your body like you ignored everything that you had to work through, everything that required healing and spiritual effort, and trading it for a easy-to-digest fantasy.

You made your way towards your bed limply and was comforted by the bottles of pills you saw on your bedside table, that will provide fleeting relief. You passed out on the bed soon after, happy that the suffering could be over for at least some hours.

You woke up a couple of hours before dawn, with a raging fever and chills running up and down your spine, and instead of struggling back to sleep, you got up slowly and put some clothes on, making your way towards the labs. Today was an important day, and you needed to be focused for it, you couldn’t afford the same thing as yesterday take place. In the medical ward, you scrambled in the drawers until you found what you were searching for. The holy grail, injectable morphine. You hastily grabbed a syringe and a needle, measured out the amount needed, shook the syringe to remove any air bubbles, and directed it to your arm, where you injected it in your vein. Placebo effect or not, you felt immediate relief, and you knew this would put you through the day.

Norm came to the linkpod to help with the neurolink, and he gave you a worried look as he watched you settle in.

“I think you should be taking a break from this.”

“Are you serious right now? The humans are literally circling the atmosphere as we speak, I can’t afford to take breaks now, you know this.”

“What I know is that you look about a week away from collapsing in my arms, and your Avatar won’t work without you, Ace. You’re always in the village, and you don’t sleep. You’re always running experiments when you are here. Look, I love your enthusiasm, and I love that you’ve finally getting outside and enjoying your life, but there’s also too much of a good thing.”

You were started to feel anger pick at your brain, much like the virus you were carrying with you everywhere you went.

“You made this for me. You made me this Avatar. You guilt tripped me into taking it. Now you’re unhappy I’m using the Avatar. Why don’t you make up your mind and let me know, Norm? In the meantime, I have to go.”

You lay in the on the pod and placed the metal frame on top of your body, and you couldn’t miss the tear that fell on Norm’s face as he closed the lid of the pod.

It was still before dawn when your consciousness woke up in the blue body you’ve come to love so much, and you couldn’t help feel immense guilt at the words you spat at Norm. He doesn’t deserve any of this; he has been a surrogate uncle for you ever since you were born. He made you an Avatar, he built you a guitar. He helped you go outside and live your life, he was always there for you if you needed to talk, or vent. He has always believed in you, in your capacity to help, to do good, to overcome your grief. You would have to apologise to him come nighttime.

You saw Jake make his way to you as you opened the flap to your tent. “Hi, kid.” Tensions were running high, you could tell, as Jake did not smile or make light conversation, as he always tended to do. He would always take the time to check in, to make sure you are doing well, which you appreciated massively. You loved having him and the rest of the family around. It felt like you belonged, for the first time in your life.

“So you, Neteyam, Akoa and Heesu will go and they will watch you perform your first kill. Early tomorrow, we will go take the Iknimaya, and then you will be able to join Neteyam on raids and scouting. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good, boss.” You saw him crack a tiny smile at that, and felt better you could still make him smile, even in these circumstances.

Neteyam came out of the tent looking… so good it made your mouth fill with saliva. He was holding his bow tightly in his hands, and he was adorning new jewellery, you noted. A beautiful black necklace, filled with beads and impressive craftsmanship, his red and green cummerbund tightly wrapped around his ribcage, and his knife tucked on his hip, all came together to bring about Neteyam Te Sulli Tsyeyk’itan, the future leader of the Omaticaya. But what really drew your eye, was a bracelet. A green bracelet that he kept around his arm, whose every bead and stone was imprinted in your mind, for the rest of time. Why was he wearing that bracelet, why now? What was he trying to tell you?

Neteyam found his gaze drawn to the girl next to his dad, the only girl that existed, as far as he was concerned. He barely slept last night thinking of you, of that kiss, of your confession, of the song, and he knew he had to make it right sooner rather than later. The humans were coming, not one of them knew what their lives were going to look like in a few weeks, and there was so much to set straight, the thought made him nauseated again. He had to tell you. Your eyes found his and he saw many emotions passing through them, and was happy to see at least one of them was passion, and yearning. You looked at him like you wanted to do things Eywa would disapprove of, and he felt himself twitch in pain for what felt like the millionth time recently.

Neteyam led the pack away from the village and towards the forest where you would have to make your first kill. He had no doubt in his mind you would do well, he honestly doesn’t know why it has taken so long to do it to begin with. You’ve been ready for weeks. After stalking quietly through the forest for a couple of hours, you found a herd of Yerik. Neteyam closed his gap on you and placed a hand on your back, smiling to himself at the way you shuddered when he did.

“You’ve got this. We’ve been through this and you are ready. Remember, keep a knee on the ground for support. Good luck.”

You nodded without looking at him, eyes plastered on one of the animals peacefully grazing on a bush. He saw you, focused and determined, aiming the arrow with precision and power, and he knew then you were made for this. You were made to be here, as one of the people, you were meant to be Na’vi.

You made quick work of the kill, and immediately got up from your crouched stance and made your way to the now fatally injured Yerik. You removed your knife from where it was placed on your chest, and repeated the words he taught you weeks ago. “Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo (I See you, Brother, and thank you). Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì (Your spirit goes with Eywa, your body stays behind to become part of the People).”

Perfect, just like he knew you would do. You were nervous, he noted, but you also seemed happy to have finally done it, after all this time training. All four of you made your way back to the village, the two men accompanying you carrying the animal by its legs. Neteyam wanted to talk to you, wanted to get you alone so he can finally tell you all the things he had to say, that he needed to say, the secret that has plagued him for weeks and that drove a wedge between him and his baby brother. Unfortunately, it seems like the universe fated you to never be alone with him again. Right after you arrived at the village, Jake took all of you to gun practice and through strategy meetings about how to plan an attack once the Sky People decelerated. Those lasted the whole day, and before he knew it, you left to your tent again, leaving him to deal with his dad on his own.

“Neteyam. Stay, I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, Senpul (dad)?”

“Did you tell her yet?”

“Not yet. I’m trying to find some time, but it seems like we are never together alone anymore.”

Neteyam saw his dad sighing heavily and was scared for the hell he knew would rain down on him sooner or later.

“Neteyam, you have to tell her. You have asked us to keep your secret, and we have. We have all participated in this, and I am getting tired of lying for you. The kids don’t want to lie to her anymore, your mother doesn’t want for this to be a secret anymore. She deserves to know.”

“You will tell her by the end of the week, or I will.”

Your body convulsed as your mind woke up in your human form, and you tried to hide it as best as you could so whoever was helping you get disconnected wouldn’t notice. To your disappointment, it was Max.

“Hey, sweetheart. How was it today?”

“Good, made the first kill. Going up the Iknimaya tomorrow, which can’t say I am particularly excited about.”

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s going to be completely different than that dreadful day. You are going to be able to control it, you will be connected to it. Plus Toruk has never been spotted this close to the banshee rookery, so there will be nothing making your Ikran nervous.”

“Yeah, guess you are right.” You said, not wanting to tell Max that rationalising it doesn’t achieve anything except making you feel stupid for being scared. “Where’s Norm?”

Max looked agitated for a second, but tried to compose himself enough to appear nonchalant about the subject. “Um, I think he’s in his room, he told me he wants to read this book he still hasn’t gotten around to, if you can believe that. He's been here for almost 19 years, you’d think there’s be nothing new to do here anymore.”

You hoped you weren’t as bad a liar as seemingly everyone you have come across recently, otherwise your illness is not as much of a secret as you’d hoped.

“He told you.”

“Yeah…”

“I was such a dick. I have to apologise. I’ll go find him.”

“Maybe give him some time? He looked really upset, and I think he just needs to lick his wounds by himself for a while.”

“I didn’t mean it, Max. I am just tired and stressed because of the Iknimaya and the humans returning, not that that’s any excuse.”

“I know, honey. He will be alright, just give it time. Time heals everything.”

You could only pray that was the case, for Norm….and for yourself.

You woke up the next morning groggy, feeling sick from your illness and sick from all the pills you ingested last night. If this was starting to be a problem, it was a problem you were gonna have to deal with later. Pandora’s box can hold a couple more issues for the time being. You made your way quietly to the medical ward and found the morphine vial you used yesterday. Withdrawing a few more millilitres, you injected yourself in the arm with it, instant relief flooding your system. You sighed happily and thought this was probably the closest you’ve ever gotten to feeling euphoric.

Your Avatar body looked ready to tackle the Iknimaya, in all new garbs and a new necklace that Kiri made for you recently, as well as Lo’ak’s visors. Tuk and Neytiri were braiding your hair fresh, so you were all ready to go by the end of the eclipse. Feeling how nervous you were, Neytiri put her hand on your heart, and looked into your eyes and she placed the last feather in your hair.

“It will be alright, ma 'ite. You have done better than any other Dream Walker ever has. Even better than the Toruk Makto. I know you are scared because of what happened in the past, but you have grown so much since then. You are such a special child, a gift from Eywa. There’s light in you no darkness can snuff out, and you were made to be one of us. Do not worry.”

You let out a small cry and hugged the woman that could have been your mother in these 9 years after you lost your own, who has loved you and protected you every chance she got, that wanted to take you in the village and raise you as one of the people, but who you pushed away out of fear, out of terror at the possibility of more loss, more pain. She never held a grudge, she never turned her back on you, even after shunning them from your life, she understood you and welcomed you back with open arms as soon as you felt ready to join them. She saw you. You will never be able to repay her kindness.

“We’ll be with you. Kiri and I will fly and bring Tuk on one of our Ikrans. Spider, Lo’ak, Neteyam and Jake will come on their Pa’li with you and make the climb. It will be good practice for them. We all want to celebrate with you. We can all join you on your first flight, so this way it will be less scary.”

You were fully crying in the crook of her neck now, unable to believe the luck you had to having been born somewhere where the Sullys existed at the same time. There was a lot of pain in your life, but this family would always be your good karma, it seemed.

The climb was the most excruciating thing you have ever had to do. Every muscle in your body was pushed to its limits, and you were beginning to wonder how you were supposed to fight a huge animal after all of this. You understand now this is why this was the ultimate test of becoming a hunter, and why there were not many hunters in the Omatikaya. The thought brought a gust of confidence to your mind - you were doing this. You. You’ve gotten so far, further than any scientist on Pandora ever has. You grew up in a lab with severe agoraphobia and unsolved trauma and you still made it here. You will do this, because you have to. Because you’ve come so far.

It was taking every ounce of discipline to not continuously stop and stare at the beauty of the Hallelujah mountains, that you have heard so much about, but never experienced for yourself, and you realised you needed to swallow often to compensate for the dryness you felt from your mouth being stuck agape in awe at the beauteous miracle.

You found yourself peering up at Neteyam frequently throughout the climb, and thoughts about yesterday made your already drugged-out mind even airier. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about, but you couldn’t handle it right now. You couldn’t handle the consequences of that kiss and the hurt that would inevitably emerge from your star-crossed fate. You were dying. Although you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to acknowledge the reality that your body was falling apart in front of you, it was happening. You probably had another couple of weeks before your heart gave out from all the strain the virus was putting on your whole body, just like it happened with all the other victims.

As if he could feel you, Neteyam turned around and gave you a nervous look. You wondered what he thought of everything, how he felt. Was he happy about the kiss? Did he regret it? In his defence, he has been wanting to talk to you for days and you avoided him, unable to deal with him at the moment. He will just have to be another trinket in the Pandora’s box until you finished the Iknimaya. Making it to a large suspended boulder before you, he stretched out a strong arm for you, and you took it, happy to have at least some physical contact between you. His touch has always calmed your nerves, from when you were children, and now, as adults, that still hasn’t changed.

He didn’t let go once you climbed next to him. Taking advantage of the fact you two were the last to climb, he took hold of your arm with one hand, and placed the other on your face, cupping it gently. His thumb found its way to your lips again, caressing them softly and you felt intoxicated from his touch. He brought his face close to yours and brought your foreheads together, breathing you in. You stood like this, staring at each other for a while, and it was like all the words you wanted to say to each other were spoken wordlessly. I love you. I see you. I’m sorry.

“Are you guys coming or what?” You heard Spider screaming from a higher up boulder, and you reluctantly let go. He squeezed your arm one more time, and then motioned for you to climb in front of him. You weren’t far off now, you realised, and felt your heart picking up pace in your ribcage.

Soon enough, you were there. You could hear thousands of banshees screaming and cooing, and you thought it was mirroring your internal dialogue quite well, loud and incoherent. Neteyam held a hand in front of your body as you made your way across a narrow ledge behind a waterfall, that connected the cave to the banshee nest.

“Ok, kid. This is it. Are you ready?” Jake began speaking and you were trying to focus on him instead of the panicked feeling rising in your chest.

As you were preparing to respond, you heard loud ululating from the sky, and immediately saw two beautiful banshees making their way to the mountain and settling in the cave you just left behind. You smiled at the view, excited that Neytiri, Kiri and Tuk could make it in time. They followed you to the nest and you brought your curled fingers to your forehead, greeting them warmly. I see you.

“Good luck, sister! I cannot wait to fly with you!” Tuk’s enthusiasm never failed to bring a wide smile to your face.

You looked around at all the people who have travelled so far to come and be with you on this day. Your family, for all intents and purposes. You felt tears coming, but pushed them away with a sigh, trying to toughen your resolve. You gave one last look to Lo’ak, who was watching you sadly, the pain from yesterday still fresh in both your minds. You loved him so much, and hoped he would be able to forgive you in time. You touched his gift, now resting on your forehead, and gave him a grateful smile and a wink. He cracked a small grin and you knew then that your relationship wasn’t totally in ruins.

“This is it, Atan. Now you must choose your Ikran. If it also chooses you, move quick, like I’ve showed you. You will have one chance. I will be behind you in case you need any help. Please don’t fall off a cliff, I don’t think my heart could take it again.”

You laughed a little at his attempt of diffusing a situation. It wasn’t his best attribute.

“Ok then, let’s dance.”

Neteyam watched as you made your way through the Ikrans, and how they all flew away in fear at your sight - beautiful banshees that made him miss his own and reminisce about his own Iknimaya. You looked ready - powerful and confident, like you have always belonged here, with them. You were swinging your yìmkxa (mouth binder) and approaching each Ikran forcefully, hissing at them to hopefully provoke the right one. Eventually, a big banshee, bigger than his and most others he’s seen around, turns around to face you and does not remove itself from your path in the same way all the others had. It is a beautiful animal, white and gold with purple and pink wings and green stripes on its head, it looked different than any other in the village. Fitting, he thought. This was it.

He heard a loud hiss coming from where you were stood. The Ikran hissed back wildly and charged towards you. His heart was getting ready to exit his body at its speed and power, and he was panting in fear and anticipation, ready to jump in at any moment’s notice, in case you needed it. He saw you remove yourself quickly, skilfully, out of the animal’s way and wrap the yìmkxa around its mouth. Good, first step done.

You then took a hold of your queue and jumped on the Ikran’s back, placing your thighs around its neck and squeezing with all of your might. The Ikran wrung its neck in an attempt to escape you, but you worked on this for months preparing for this day - you were not letting go. Neteyam saw the banshee make its way towards the edge of a cliff, and you wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the queue around its neck for more support.

Neteyam felt like he was going to pass out from the stress, and saw the next moments happen in slow motion, just like almost 7 years ago when you fell mid flight: the ikran managing to drop off the cliff, his wailing scream and immediate desire to join you, the hands of his mother and father wrapping around him keeping him in place, his own ikran dropping from a cliff at the sound of his call, him removing his parents’ hands forcefully and running towards his banshee, scrapping his arm painfully on the rock and the stabbing throb that followed, the feeling of a fresh injury and blood spilling down his arm, and yet still, no other thoughts in his mind than the need to save you, to right his past wrongs.

He makes the bond quickly and before anyone could stop him, he’s in the air, flying around the rock and beneath it, trying to see where you could be. He was shocked to find you still on your ikran, holding for dear life while the animal was flying upside down, shaking itself furiously to get rid of you. He saw you drop the arm you were using to hold on to it, only managing to hold on by the strength in your thighs, and connected the queues with a loud yell.

“STOP!” He heard you scream. “TURN AROUND, NOW!”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. You made your Tsaheylu, upside down, mid-flight. He watched as the banshee turned around and made its way back to where his family was, and he still had no words he could say to explain or describe what he was feeling in that moment. It was beyond words. He felt his arm twitching painfully and he quickly looked at it and saw the deep scratch that was leaking blood and staining his loincloth where his arm was laying.

You did it. You actually did it. This little prick came at you with all her might and you still held on to her. You learnt a lesson or two from riding a banshee as a 13 year old defenceless human, and the most important lesson was: hold on for dear life. Good to see it came in handy. You also made it a point to thank Neteyam for making you hang upside down in trees to shoot down targets, you can see now it helped. You landed at the base of the rookery and watched as every one of your family members was smiling and yelling, cheering loudly for your accomplishment. They looked so happy, and you couldn’t help shed a small tear and the sight.

These were your people, for the remainder of this short life, and you were happy you got to do this before you went. Happy you got to see them together, for you. You looked around at Neteyam and couldn’t see him, but then heard a loud, excited yelp from behind you. He looked so happy and proud, your heart swelled at the sight. This man would be the death of you, you knew. You loved him so much, and you knew it was time, time to talk through it.

“First flight seals the bond.” he screams over the noise of the banshees and the waterfall. “Let’s go.”

The entire family called for their ikrans, and in less than a minute, you were airborne. You told your banshee to fly gently and straight, and held on tightly to her neck while you tried to adjust to all these new overwhelming emotions. The feeling of flying was incredible, so much more so than you remembered. Maybe because this time you were in control. The feeling of the Tsaheylu... Lo’ak was right, it was so much stronger than the Pa’li, the connection you had with this animal. You knew you were bonded for life, shared a kinship and bond no one could break until one of you died, maybe even after. The feeling of belonging, as you watched 5 other ikran fly alongside yours and help you through your first of many adventures in the sky. You felt grateful and happy to have made it so far before the inevitable end.

You made it at the village soon after eclipse, laughing and dancing while you walked back, hand in hand with Kiri who was rolling her eyes at you but joining in anyway. Tuk was holding your other hand, and you lifted her up and carried her all the way back while she played with your braids.

As you arrived to your tent, you saw the rest of the family go into their own, with the promise you’d join after dropping all of your stuff. Neteyam stayed behind, closing his distance to you and only stopping when he was so close to you his chin was touching your forehead. It was only then you saw his arm, dried blood spilt everywhere and marring his beautiful blue stripes. His loincloth was also red, you noted, and saw the gash that was the culprit, high on his arm, still red and bleeding, although not enough to justify this much blood. It must have been bleeding for a while.

“What the hell happened to you?!” You said with a panicked voice.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

You raised and eyebrow at him and rolled you eyes, and pulled him to your tent by his uninjured arm.

“Sit. I will clean and stitch it and then we can go for dinner.”

He did as he was told, quietly sitting on the ground while you gathered supplies: some gauze, disinfectant, numbing cream, stitches and a needle driver, as well as some forceps and scissors. He squirmed at the sight, and you rolled your eyes again.

“You drive me crazy when you roll your eyes at me, you know? I would kill to be the reason your eyes roll in the back of your head at night.”

You blushed at his words, and sat next to him on the ground.

“You have to stop, Neteyam. We can’t do this again.”

You turned your focus on his wound, and began cleaning it slowly so as to not injure him further.

“I can’t stop, Atan. I can’t think of anything else. I have so much I want to say to you, so much I need to get off my chest.”

He sounded sad, desperate for you to hear him out, his eyes pleading and pained.

“How about we talk, after dinner? This time, you can be the one sneaking in my tent late at night.” you said sarcastically, not having forgotten his outburst from earlier and realising you were still angry at him for it.

“Yes, please.”

You sat in silence the rest of the time, as you worked with skilled, focused hands. You stitched his wound carefully, so as to not leave him with a scar. When you finished, you smiled up at him, and reached your hand to touch his face, moving a strand of beaded hair from it and pushing it behind his ear. He was so, so beautiful. He brought a hand to your chin and was pulling you closer, when someone entered the tent without making their presence known, making you both jolt back in shock. It was a girl. You’ve seen her before in the village, she was a healer in training. Beautiful and skilled, she was a good singer and a good craftswoman, making a lot of the clothes the Na’vi hunters wore.

“Oh, Great Mother, here you are! Your mother told me about your injury, and I had to come find you so I could help!” She kneeled down on the other side of Neteyam from where you were sitting and touched Neteyam’s chest, moving him around looking for the bleed, that was no longer there.

“Oh, it seems much better now than what was described. I guess it’s true what they say, you really are that skilled.” She turned her attention to you and smiled.

“Thank you. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”

“You’re right, my bad! I’m Tiongli. Neteyam’s mate.”

It was so quiet in the room now, you were sure they could both hear your heart break into a million pieces.

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @k----a27s

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam sully #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar fanfic #neteyam avatar #avatar twow #neteyam angst #neteyam smut

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kingdomof-omens · 8 months

Text

Bad Omens HCs

With everyone posting their headcanons, I'm going to join in and tell you all my hcs of Bad Omens. Buckle up buttercup, we're talking boyfriend material and NSFW.

Tags: @signs-of-ill-portent @the-way-of-words @soakme-inbleach @ladyveronikawrites @cncohshit (if you want to be added to the tags, leave a comment or send a DM)

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Folio

My hc is that this man is the teddy bear boyfriend. He's the boyfriend that doesn't have to do anything in particular with you, just as long as you're there spending quality time together. He's a man that likes fishing. Fishing is a lot of waiting, a lot of sitting, and just chillin with a cold one popped open in his hand. So even if you two are sitting next to each other in silence, that's enough for him. He'll reach out to grab your feet to place them in his lap and rub them while you're reading so you have the ultimate relaxation. When he's working on his bike, he'll come to you with puppy dog eyes and ask for help, but all he really wants is for you to sit outside with him while he's changing the spark plugs or replacing a sensor. He's also a jokester, so fully expect to be called "dumbass" at least once a day, but he knows you'll call him a "fuckin bitch" right back. (lovingly, of course) And when you two fall asleep at night, he's going to smother you with cuddles and squeeze you to death so you don't have the chance to leave.

Sexually? This man is open to trying anything, as long as you want to. He's got a steady rhythm as he's disappearing inside of you and he's not going to stop until you come undone around him. His hands stay busy due to hitting drums nightly, so he prefers his girl on top so he can take those calloused palms and run them all over her body, touching, massaging, and maybe a slap or two. He's vocal. He's going to tell you that he loves how tight your pussy is as you roll your hips chasing your own high. He's going to ask you who owns that pussy, and you love telling him that he does. He loves blowjobs, watching you on your knees as your lips are wrapped around his cock working him over. Better relax that throat, cause he's going to end up thrusting himself into your mouth as much as he can. When you two are spent, he's going to take every last bit of energy he has to make sure you're all cleaned up and comfortable before bringing you your favorite pajamas and a glass of water.

Jolly

Jolly's the protector, you're his girl and everyone knows not to fuck with Jolly's Lady™. He's more of a chill boyfriend, wanting to stay home with you and watch movies while everyone else is hitting up the bar. He wants to take you out on dates at the fancy restaurants because that's what you deserve. He'll be out on tour and you'll come home from a long day of work to a bouquet of roses on your counter with a note that says "Miss you sweet girl". And when you FaceTime him to thank him, he's going to be grinning ear to ear because it made your day. He gives all of his trust in a relationship, so he doesn't care who you hang out with or where you go, as long as he knows you're safe and having fun. If anyone were to ever cross you, they'd immediately be placed on his shit list for life. And they better be lucky you talked him down from confronting them for having the audacity to upset his Lady because he would 100% "take care" of someone who hurt you.

In the bedroom, he's a dominant. He's the oldest man in the group and this man has experience. He knows how to bring you to your climax quickly and easily because he knows your body so well, but I think he likes to take him time with you. He likes to roughen things up a bit and loves to make you beg for him to enter you after teasing you all night at said fancy restaurant. If this man puts his hair up in a bun at the beginning of sexy time, you know you're in it for the whole night. He loves rope play, making you sit on your knees waiting patiently as he tightens the knots around your limbs. He'll never do something you're not 100% sure about, and as a matter of fact, he won't do it at all until you're begging for it. Sex, to him, is all for his Lady. He can beat his meat in the bathroom, he doesn't care, but you? You deserve to see stars as much as you and your body can handle. Afterwards, he's going to run you a warm bath with your favorite bath bomb and sit next to you as he takes the washcloth and cleans you up, because a Lady deserves to be taken care of properly.

Noah

He's the learning boyfriend. He wants to do his best giving you his undivided attention, he promises, but he just had a revelation about a song he's working on and he has to jot it down before it disappears. He's a perfectionist, not only in his music, but in making sure when you two schedule plans, it goes accordingly. Even if that means rushing you through your makeup before going out to your anniversary dinner because the reservation is for 6:00, not 6:02. He needs a girl that's patient and understanding, because he's going to hole himself in his studio for days at a time making sure a song is just the way he imagined it. He's going to be exhausted, but when he walks into the bedroom with heavy bags under his eyes, you're going to open your arms and welcome him into your bosom so he can get some much needed rest.

But he's not an dom like a lot of fics portray him as. He has to be in control in a lot of aspects of his life, being a perfectionist and all. So the bedroom is the one place he likes to lose control and give it to you. He wants you to tell him what to do, not in a dominating way, but the sex is all for you and your pleasure- so whatever you want, he'll make sure it's what you get. Speaking of your pleasure, this man is a pussy eater to his core. We've seen/heard about how much this man loves eating pussy and he'll bury himself in your folds like it's his last meal. Sometimes after a stressful day, he'll come to you and rub your knee asking if you could just spread your legs open a little bit so he can have a small taste. He'll lose himself in your slick to the point this man is panting when he pauses for air because he wants to dive right back in. He's not going to stop until he's satiated, and that takes a while. So if this man goes down on you, you better clear your schedule for the next few hours. We've also seen that he had a mirror on his closet door, and boy does he love watching you in the mirror bouncing on him.

Nicholas

He's the tender hearted boyfriend. When he loves you, it's unconditional, it's everlasting, and he puts his all into it. He got home from tour early one day and decided to decorate the house as a surprise for when you get off of work. He loves helping you in the kitchen, baking alongside you so he can find out what makes your choco chip cookies so amazing. He's a tattoo artist, so he catches every little detail of everything. He'll be sitting on the couch sketching something and noticed how your nose scrunches just right as you're trying to solve a 1000 piece puzzle, and next thing he knows he has your portrait on the page. Your home is filled with his artwork. You are so proud of his creations, him just slightly shy that all of your guests will see, but he sees your face light up with every piece and he would draw across the world just to see you smile.

Everyone knows him as the shy, tender hearted boyfriend, but in the bedroom it's the total opposite. This is a side only you will see. I believe this man is the true alpha out of all of the men. There will be some times where you two make love, slow and steady and gazing into each other's eyes as you both come undone. But, he loves temperature play, making you gasp between hot wax and melting ice cubes. He's going to edge you and string you along all night until tears are filling your eyes as you beg for release. He's the one that'll work you up all day, but make you watch him as he pumps his cock to climax and you get nothing because you couldn't stop teasing him at dinner with the guys. He loves calling you his good girl, and good girls wait to do anything until their man says so. But when he's finished making you regret your choices, he's going to cave in and make sure you cum at least once, because he hates seeing his girl so needy, wanting, and neglected. He'll give you proper aftercare, making sure you're clean and comfortable after a session, and he's going to ask you a million times if he went too far, if it was too much, and if there's anything he can do better for your pleasure.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #bad omens headcanons #headcanons #noah sebastian head canon #nick folio headcanon #jolly karlsson headcanon #nicholas ruffilo headcanon #nick ruffilo headcanon #head canons #author: kingdomof-omens

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morallyinept · 11 days

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hi can you recommend the best way to break into the fanfic world on here? i'm new, yay, and don't know how the tagging system or anything works

thank you in advance!!

Hello Lovely Non! 🖤

Oooh! Exciting!! YAY! 🎉🎉 Firstly, welcome, welcome. How wonderful it is that you wanna write and share something with us all, that's so cool! ✨️

Look, Dieter's excited too!

I suppose the best way to break in, is to take the leap. I know, groundbreaking advice Jett, right? Hehe! 😆

From experience, these are all things I've learnt and had guidance on myself during my time on wacky Tumblr, so here are my pearls of wisdom for ya...

So you've written the fic. WOO! 🎉 Now what? Well, firstly, have a treat. Some cake or vodka, or both. You've earned it. 🍰

Then, when you're no longer hungover and throwing up cake, do these things:

And make yourself a banging banner of some kind, or use a picture/GIF. I'm personally more likely to be drawn to a fic to read if there's a cool banner, or you've made a mood board or have a GIF. Kinda sets the tone, you know? We love a bit of the ol' aesthetic. Like a bookcover, we're immediately drawn in with our eyes. Be creative, go nuts. Use the free trial of Canva to go design crazy.

Check it through for grammar and spelling as much as you can.

You can always have someone beta read it for you. And look at your formatting to ensure you don't have massive spaces between your paragraphs etc... When I copy and paste into Tumblr, it screws up the formatting from Google docs, just to test my already thin thread of patience further, no doubt... 😑 It's not a massive deal, but I guess presentation is a hook in itself, right?

Beware of glitches when saving your drafts on Tumblr too. The app especially loves to auto-post it when you hit save, 🤬 so double check you're saving it in draft, not in post, before you're ready to post it to the world.

Everyone has their owns tastes and comforts when reading fic, and quite rightly so. Variety is the spice of life. 🌶 And look, you'll NEVER please everyone. So don't even try. But what is important is that you give the reader a choice to read it or not.

⚠️🚫🔞👉🏻👌🏻 Ensure you list any trigger warnings.

Look, there's this age old debate that continually surfaces on whether we should list every single trigger or warning in our fic, or should we just... not? 🤔

The simple answer is, it's up to you, ultimately. Not everyone does this or feels the need to do this. I mean, published books don't, right?

HOWEVERRRRR. And it's a capital letter however. There are so many people who won't want to read stories about certain topics. Age Gap, Anal, Noncon etc...

Kinda looks like a sandwich to me... I'm hungry 🥪

I personally won't release a fic without listing all the triggers as I don't want any of my readers to encounter something that could be triggering for them later on. Yes, to some degree it can give away "spoilers" but it's up to you as the writer ultimately about how much you want to give away. If you fic contains Age Gap, you can simply write "Age Gap."

Use the Read More/Keep Reading divider.

It looks like this on the app:

Some people write a paragraph or two before they place it on, others hide the whole fic and just leave the intro/warnings etc... on show. How you do it is up to you, but please, please use it!

Nobody likes to scroll through a whole chapter of 10k+ words trying to get to the next post... nobody. Cue ranty Anons in your mailbox if you don't. We've all been there and made that mistake. 😬

Plus, using this will also hide any explicit or triggering content from immediate view. People more than likely won't read your fic if you don't have one of these on it.

# Tagging

Tagging - to tag or not to tag?

Tagging is a massive topic, but essentially it boils down to two types of tagging.

Tagging using a # which is at the bottom of each of your posts, and tagging people in your posts by using the @ and then their username.

So say, for example, you've written a Joel Miller fic.

Oh, hey Joel... we're talking about you handsome, not to you.

You can tag it "joel miller" or "joel miller tlou" or "joel miller x reader" etc... People can follow the tag, so they'll see your work in it if they're following it.

If you search the tag on Tumblr it'll tell you how many people are following that tag too, so you'll know which ones are more popular and will be seen by the most eyes.

Currently (as of writing this response) the 'Joel Miller' tag has 225k followers! 👀 So if you write a Joel Miller fic, you deffo want one of your first 5 tags to be that one!

Someone's popular, eh Joel?

@ Tagging

He loves it really.

☝🏻Note that the first 5 tags you use are the ones that Tumblr actually uses to make your fic show up in those tags too. You can put up to 30 tags on a fic and yet Tumblr only counts the first 5. Dumb, I know. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The rest is just for your own use to find it again on your blog.

If you search your own blog using "Joel Miller" everything you've ever posted with Joel Miller will come up. So you can use your own tags or words for yourself too. I use "Jett's fic recs" for example, when I re-blog someone's fic so I can find it again.

⚠️ And you can use tags to highlight triggers too, for example you can write "tw blood" for a blood warning. (tw = trigger warning) People can block tags so certain things don't show up in their feed as a way of shielding themselves from content they don't want to see/read. So if I've blocked "tw blood" I won't ever see your fic, even with all the other tags you use.

So be mindful of how you tag, not only for yourself, but for others too.

And essentially tags are how some people choose to comment and interact with you. Some people write mini fics in the tags! It's really quite fun. Just remember, there's a limit of 30 tags per post and put your best 5 first.

You can also tag users! You can offer up a tag list to users who you think might be interested in reading your fic (feel free to tag me, I'd love to read it!) A lot of writers have a bunch of regular readers who they'll tag @ username on their works. They're called tag lists. Readers may reach out to you to ask to be tagged too.

There's no shame in hyping your own work - you wrote it, be proud of it! 🙌🏻

Others choose not to do this and instead create a side blog for notifications of their works. It's up to you how you choose to do this, but if you tag specific people, chances are they're going to read your work because they want to.

You can tag up to 50 users on a single post, I believe. (Or at least it's 50 users and 50 links when I do my fic rec lists) I think it varies if you're on app or desktop. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong... but there is deffo a limit.

Reblog your own work for time zones.

So, I'm in the UK and the majority of my followers are in the USA, so when I'm in bed snoozing away, they're awake and reading smut at work.... 😏 So I'll schedule my fic to release at various points in the day and night so everyone can see it on their feed.

Keep it circling too, I'll go back and re-blog older works when more people follow me so they don't miss out. And as a writer, you'll want people to love your older works as much as the new.

And finally, some basic etiquette...

Please don't be disheartened if your fic doesn't get the traction you want right away.

It does not mean that your writing isn't good. We all started in the fandom with 0 followers and 0 reblogs. Its important to remember to write, first and foremost, for your own enjoyment. The right people will find you and love your work, it just takes a bit of time.

You can jazz your fic up with dividers and GIFs. Just ensure you give credit by @ tagging the person who made the divider you're using, if you choose to use one, and use the GIF search function on Tumblr for your GIFs, as they auto tag and credit the creator of the GIF for you. And that way, everyone stays happy. ✌🏻

And finally...

Interact with your comments and reblogs. People took the time to read your work, even just a simple thank you back is always appreciated and well received.

Re-blog, re-blog, re-blog what you love!

The like button is for bookmarking only. It does absolutely nothing to make posts get seen like it does on other socials. Re-blogging is what gets yours and others work seen and put on people's feeds on Tumblr. If you want people to re-blog your own work, you'll need to give back and re-blog theirs too. Tumblr is all about sharing in the form of re-blogs.

Love you! 🖤

✨️HAVE FUN!✨️

I'm so excited you're here and can't wait to read your fics! 🤗

Apologies if any of this you may already know, I just wanted to share what I've learnt in abundance.

And if you have further questions, feel free to reach out. I'm no expert, but I'll try and help if I can.

And if anyone else has any tips/hints/advice etc... feel free to share in the comments.

#jett's asks #pedro pascal #joel miller #dieter bravo #new writers yay!#welcome!

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intoanotherworld23 · 10 months

Text

Pick Your Battles XII

Pairing: Reader x Bradley Bradshaw

Warnings: None

Summary: Bradley broke your heart when he accused you of betraying him, and you haven’t seen or spoken to him since. Until you are both called back to Top Gun to help with a dangerous mission that nobody’s ever attempted before

I do not own any rights to the characters or movie this is just purely for reading entertainment. Hearts, reblogs, and comments are encouraged and appreciated! If you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know! Thank you so much guys and enjoy! XOXO

Part 11

Check out my other works on my Hall Of Hunks

The next day literally dragged on for what felt like days. Both Jake and Bradley constantly looking over at you, but neither one of them saying a word. Of course you didn’t give neither of them so much as a smile.

It wasn’t a good day of training either. Nobody was communicating with each other, and they weren’t acting like a team. Maverick and Admiral Simpson were both disappointed and frustrated. The mission was only a couple weeks away, and everyone still wasn’t learning.

Admiral Simpson was also getting on you about choosing a team leader for this mission. He suggested Jake, but you argued that he would get his entire team killed if he led the mission. It was like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Today though you were completely distracted, and your head was in the clouds. Right now you couldn’t think or make any type of decision. You felt like you needed to escape from here.

Ever since that night going on your somewhat date with Jake, and running into Bradley. Only to hear the truth, and both men wanting you to choose them. It was hard and that’s why you decided to go home alone. Bradley being kind enough to drive you home.

You didn’t kiss you didn’t hug. You just said your goodbyes, and laid in bed until it was time to get up. Mind going crazy over everything that’s been happening, and wondering what you should do.

Standing next to Maverick as you watched the pilots strolling in to take their seats. Pete asking you if you were okay, and of course you lied not wanting to burn his ears off with everything that’s been going on.

Admiral Simpson and Solomon walked in with Simpson taking a seat in the back, and Solomon walking up to the podium with a stoic look on his face.

“Good morning pilots.” Warlock greeted everyone. “The mission will be operational earlier than expected. The new shipment will be delivered within about ten days time. As a result your mission has been moved up one week.”

Everyone including Maverick looked nervous hearing this news. It was unexpected and quite honestly terrified the pilots.

“But sir nobody has successfully flown a low level course.” Coyote spoke.

“You’ve been ordered to move on.” He responded complete silence filling the room.

Looking across the room you saw that Bradley was already staring at you. You could tell by the look on his face that he was worried. Instinctively you cracked a smile for him in reassurance. He mimicked you as you turned away to look back at Warlock.

“Captain.” He signaled to Maverick who now stood in his place placing his hands on the podium.

“We have one week left to focus on the most dangerous part of the mission. It’s a pop up strike with a steep dive requiring nothing less than two miracles.” A heavy sigh leaving your lips. “We need to focus on this mission, and you need to listen to every instruction that is given to you.”

Maverick looked to you to speak now making you step forward clearing your throat. Your mouth so dry it was like the Sahara desert.

“Two pairs of F-18s will fly in a welded wing formation.” All eyes now focused on you. “Team work. Precise coordination of these aircraft are essential to this missions success and your survival.”

“As you have read this plant rests between two mountains.” Pointing to the screen behind you showing a simulation of what it’s going to look like. “On the final approach you’ll invert directly into a steep dive. This allows you to maintain the lowest possible altitude, and the only possible attack angle.”

Looking at the pilots expression you could see them all twitching and fidgeting in their seats. They tried to put on brave faces, but you saw the fear behind their eyes.

“Your target is an impact point less than three meters wide. The two seat aircraft will paint the target with a laser bulls eyes. The first pair will breach the reactor by dropping a laser guided bomb on an exposed ventilation hatch. This will create an opening for the second pair.”

“That’s miracle number one.” Maverick interrupted before you could say anything more.

Some shook their heads in disbelief, and others looked around at the other pilots making sure they heard all this correctly. It sounded easier than it was going to be.

“The second team will deliver a kill shot and destroy the target.” You finished as Bradley gave you a encouraging smile.

“That’s miracle number two.” Maverick raised two fingers this time. “If either team misses the target.”

Looking over at Maverick who had a very serious expression.

“The mission is a failure.” Bowing your head down to the thought of them failing or losing their lives because of this mission.

“The mountain is a very steep high- G climb out to avoid hitting this mountain.”

“A steep climb at that speed your pulling at least 8 G’s.” Jake spoke up saying what everyone else was thinking.

“9 minimum.” Maverick responded.

“Has anyone actually ever achieved that?” Jake sounded skeptical.

“I did.” Maverick sounded proud of his achievement.

You remember that day very clearly too. Maverick pushed 10 G’s, and pissed off almost every Admiral that was watching. Laughing to yourself as the cursed mutters in the room, while some of them were chuckling at Mavericks bold action.

“To survive this mission you will pull beyond that. Even if it means bending your air frame.”

Looking over to see Admiral Simpson closing his eyes, and shaking his head at Mavericks words. You knew Simpson wanted this mission to be as clean as possible, but with Mavericks reputation you knew he’d tell them to push their limits.

“You’ll be pulling so hard you’ll weigh close to two thousand pounds. Your skull crushing your spine. Your lungs imploding like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Fighting with everything you have just to keep from blacking out.”

You could feel a lump forming in your throat at the thought of Bradley struggling in the jet. Imaging the worst case scenario. The last thing you would want is for that to happen to him, and Bradley loses control and crashes.

“And this is where you’ll be at your most vulnerable. This is what we’re calling coffin corner.” Bob looked like he was either going to throw up or pass out.

“Assuming you avoid crashing into this mountain you’ll climb straight up into enemy radar while losing all of your air speed.” Everyone now focused on the screen as they showed another video demonstration.

“Within seconds you will be fired upon by enemy SAM’s.” Those were powerful missiles and everyone else knew that too.

This was a mission that couldn’t go wrong. They don’t want to fail, but they also didn’t want to lose any pilots. That’s why they wanted the best of the best. Pilots that they felt could achieve this and survive.

“This is gonna take you and your aircraft to its breaking point.” Mavericks tone was almost like a warning.

“Sir is this even possible?” Natasha spoke up this time.

“The answer to that will be up to the pilot in the box.”

Maverick was speaking to everyone, but his words were meant more for Bradley. The pair stared at each other for a few seconds like they were having some sort of silent conversation. Maverick didn’t want to lose Bradley either, and wanted him to know how serious this was.

“We have created a flight path just like the one for the mission. You will learn this path, you will think about this path even in your sleep.” You said as confidently as you could. “First pair will be Coyote as lead pilot, and Phoenix and Bob second.”

The three pilots nodded as they were dismissed by Maverick. Watching as they were escorted to where they needed to go.

Everyone else left the room to listen in on what was going on. Jake tried to remain in the room as long as he could, but when he saw that Bradley wasn’t moving he gave up, and headed towards the door. Bradley remained in his seat as you stood there, and waited until the room was empty.

Nothing was said between the two of you. Picking at the skin around your nails out of habit. While Bradley just watched you curiously like he wanted you to speak first. Both of you had so much to say, but didn’t know where to start.

“How are you?” Bradley asked as he stood up.

“As good as one can be.” Giving him a pathetic smile. “You?”

Not realizing that the two of you were each stepping towards the other closer and closer. Like some type of magnetic force was pulling you to him.

“As good as one can be.” Repeating your words making you smile.

“How you feeling after that little speech?” Crossing your arms across your chest as you two now stood practically in front of the other.

“Nervous as hell.” Answering honestly as he wiped the palms of his hands against his pants. “Do you think we can honestly pull this off?”

“Yeah I think with the right pilots we can.” Bradley actually valued your opinion on certain things.

“Who do you think should be leading this mission?” It was a question you were hoping to avoid with him.

“Bradley come on.” Scoffing as you turned away from him.

“No seriously I want to hear who you think should be leading this mission.” Softly grabbing your hand so you looked back at him.

“Honestly.” Taking a deep breath before you answered. “None of you.”

That answer seemed to shock Bradley as he didn’t say anything and just looked at your face. It was the honest truth, and quite frankly you didn’t want him leading the mission anyway. He meant too much for you to lose.

“None of you are really ready for this mission, and they need someone who can lead it successfully.” Shrugging your shoulders at him as you further explained.

“You’re right.” Finally speaking. “You’re totally right.”

“It’s not that I don’t think you can’t do it.”

“I know what you mean. It’s what you and Maverick have been telling me from the start.” Hearing him mention Mavericks name surprised given how he felt about him. “I can’t play it safe.”

“You’re a good pilot Bradley.” Placing a hand on his shoulder as he weakly smiled.

“So are you.” Taking your hand from his shoulder and holding it in his hand his thumb tenderly rubbing the skin back and forth.

Bradley’s gaze lingering on your face as you both smiled at each other with adoration. Neither one of you doing or saying anything, but just enjoying each others presence. It was like a roller coaster with you two. Constant ups and downs, and you didn’t know when it was going to end.

“We should probably be there with everyone else.” You spoke up as you dropped your hand from his.

“Yeah right.” He stuttered as you walked in front of him Bradley placing a soft touch on your back as he followed right behind you.

Once you got into the room everyone looked stressed and terrified. Some of them had their head in their hands, and others mouths open wide. You and Bradley looked at each other confused to what was going on. Whatever happened it wasn’t good.

“Where the hell have you guys been?” Payback exclaimed everyone turning towards you both. “You guys just missed it.”

“What happened?” Asking as you walked away from Bradley.

“Coyote went into G lock and Phoenix and Bob crashed.” It was like the air left your lungs and all you heard was crash.

“What?” Bradley shouted in disbelief.

You could hear muffled voices but you had no idea what they were saying. There was a ringing in your ear as you stood there like a deer caught in the headlights.

Staring at him wide eyed saying nothing your legs moved before your mouth could say anything. Running out of the room as quickly as you could before you burst into tears. Those same feelings and fear were coming back, and you couldn’t handle something like this happening to you again.

Running into an empty room as you sat down trying to catch your breath. Your breathing was shallow and erratic, and you felt that same anxiety before you had a panic attack. The room was getting smaller, and it was getting much harder to breathe. Like at any moment you could burst into tears.

Bradley quickly followed behind you hearing you as he ran down the hall, and quickly came into the room. The sight before him nearly broke his heart.

He took one look at you, and sat right next to you. An arm wrapped around you while he held your hands. Leaning your head against his shoulder as he tried to help control you. Whispering comforting things in your ear.

“It’s okay just breathe in through your nose, and out of your mouth.” His chin resting on top of your head. “Breathe with me baby.”

Trying to get you to follow his breathing patterns in a slow and easy pace. Hoping that his calm presence would help, and would make you feel better. He hated to see you like this, and wishes he could take all this pain you felt away from you.

“That’s it. Just breathe like that for me.” He whispered once he felt your breathing slowing down. “That’s a good girl.”

Closing your eyes as you suddenly felt exhausted. Pressing yourself deeper into Bradley’s body loving how warm and safe he felt. Bradley wasn’t going to let you go either. He wanted to hold you in his arms for as long as he could.

“Better?” He asked looking at your face.

“Yeah. Thank you.” Weakly smiling at him as you pressed your face into his shoulder. “It’s been so long since that’s happened.”

“I understand.”

The doors came bursting open as a worried Maverick came into the room. Looking at the way Bradley was holding you and seeing the expression you had on your face he knew what happened.

“Are they okay?” Bradley asked.

“There gonna keep them both in the hospital over night for observation. But there gonna be okay.” A sigh of relief left your lips hearing that news.

“That’s good.” He responded not moving an inch.

“It was a close one.” Mavericks voice cracking at the thought of how much worse it could’ve been.

“I’ve never lost a wingman.”

“You’re lucky. Fly long enough and it’ll happen. There will be others.”

“Easy for you to say.” Bradley letting go of you to stand up now. “No wife. No kids. Nobody to mourn you when you burn in.”

“Bradley.” Whispering for him to stop knowing this wasn’t the time or place.

“Go home.” Maverick responded not really in the mood to have this discussion. “Just get some sleep.”

“Why did you pull my papers at the academy?” Bradley asked Maverick before he could walk out the door. “Why did you stand in my way?”

“You weren’t ready.” Maverick kept his voice low and soft.

“Ready for what? To fly like you.” Bradley was raising his voice as he stood face to face with Maverick now.

“No ready to forget the books and trust your instincts. Don’t think just do. You think up there your dead. Believe me.”

“Well my dad believed in you.” Bradley said with such malice it even shocked you. “I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”

As the two of them stared at each other you could tell Maverick was affected by his words. Standing up this time as you wanted to say something, but it was between the two of them. They needed to be work this out themselves.

Before anything else could be spoke the door opened, and Admiral Solomon and Simpson were standing there with weird looks on their faces. Thinking they were there to lecture Maverick, but there focus was on you.

“Y/N.” Warlock waving you over both Maverick and Bradley watching you.

“What is it?” Asking when they shut the door behind you.

“Your fathers gone.”

#miles teller #miles teller smut #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #miles teller x reader #bradley bradshaw smut #miles teller fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagines #top gun #top gun fanfiction

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taurusdaylight · 1 year

Text

seven days to say i love you

summary. you and jeno can't get enough of spending time together even when you are practically glued to each other's side at any given opportunity. but spending seven days a week for eternity with your favourite person doesn't sound like a bad idea, right?

pairing. college boyfriend! jeno x fem! reader

genre. hockey player! au, college! au, established relationship! au, friends to lovers! au, fluff

word count. 5,108

warnings/tags. none, this is 423% fluff <3 (but please let me know if i did miss out anything!)

a/n. (repost because there was an error... 😔) but hi!! i'm so sorry for the inactivity, i was so busy and couldn't put out my fics like i wanted to. but i'm back with a small something (my first non-jaehyun fic,,) i wrote this a while back and changed like 3/4 of it, and i hope it'll be a fun read!! i also came back to 2.8k notes on jaehyun bolton fic (is that what we're calling it now? yes.) i don’t reply to every comment/reblog/tag because by the time i see them it’s already so late, but i promise i read through and appreciate every single one of them,, thank you a million times!!!!!! i am working on more stuff now that i'm a little more free... so, as jaehyun likes to say, to be continued... :) hope everyone is well!

–

01 MONDAY.

The beginning of the week never failed to come to you in a dreadful manner, as if to make sure that you felt the full force of what most people like to call the Monday blues. Whoever was in charge of making sure that you would experience it, they certainly did not miss you out today as well.

Not that you enjoyed seeing other people suffer, but if there’s one thing that you’re grateful for, it’s the knowledge that you’re probably not the only one who feels this way. Though, the blaring sound of your alarm ringing at seven in the morning is too eerily similar to having someone have a personal vendetta against you, serving as a very unfriendly reminder that it is also the start of the school week. Perhaps, your disdain for Mondays could be attributed to this… but there’s always an exception, right?

Despite your reluctance to attend your morning lecture, you were somehow seated in the lecture theatre by nine, giving you more than enough time to lay out your laptop and the reading materials that you needed for the lesson before it started.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. Often only going to sleep when the sun is about to rise, Lee Jeno has an unhealthy habit of pulling all-nighters, which causes him to miss his alarm because he’d be so deep in his sleep that he would only be able to hear it after the seventh alarm has gone off, which by then, was most likely the time that he needed to leave his house if he wanted to reach on time. The worst part of this is that he was up all night for the sole reason of wanting to break his record in his mobile games; and he plays so many that even you find it difficult to keep up too. Even when you nagged at him and said that you would complain to his mum, Jeno often dismissed your words as empty threats, still not breaking his bad habit. Reading his text message to you about how he was going to be late again, you could only let out a helpless sigh as you left his message on read.

Jeno announces his appearance by quietly opening the backdoor of the lecture theatre thirty minutes later. He makes his way over to his seat next to you, genuinely appreciating how even though sitting in front is better for your eyesight, you still opted to sit around the last few rows so that it’s easier for him to join the lecture when he comes in late without causing a loud disruption to your peers.

“Good morning, pretty,” Jeno bends down to whisper in your ear. Removing his crossbody bag, he leaves it in the empty space between you two. Once he settles down, Jeno slides a Venti-sized Hazelnut Latte from Starbucks over to your side of the desk. The rest of the lecture goes by quickly with you and Jeno making silly commentaries about anything and everything.

“Why did you still get me coffee?” you ask Jeno after the lecture had ended, a deep frown etched on your face. “You were already running late, Jeno. You really didn’t have to.” Being late was one thing, and making an additional stop at the café is another, especially because you knew that it was definitely not on the way.

“Just because,” Jeno replies with a loving smile. The kind of smile where his eyes would curve into beautiful crescents, his pupils almost disappearing because of how wide he is smiling at you. The kind of smile that you’d never get tired of seeing, so much so that you wordlessly lean in to give him a quick peck on the lips to say thank you.

Perhaps you like Mondays. Mondays with Jeno where you learnt that words left unspoken speak much more volume in expressing one’s heart.

02 TUESDAY.

It’s Tuesday, which means that you and Jeno have some spare time to meet up and study at the café near campus before his hockey practice starts. Study dates with Jeno are admittedly not as productive as you expect them to be, mainly because you often distract each other from getting any actual work done. Because of this, the both of you become public nuisances of some sort, so you had no choice but to study at a café instead of the quiet library. Imagine getting kicked out of the library… that would be an embarrassing sight.

“Jeno, how do you work out the answer to question five? I wasn’t paying attention when Prof taught this...” You look over at Jeno with a sheepish smile, earning a chuckle from him. He isn’t even surprised by your question, guessing that you probably spaced out or dozed off during the lesson.

Without saying a word, Jeno tucks a pencil behind his ear and grabs a piece of rough paper before getting up and shifting to the empty seat next to you, leaving you confused. As if he could read your mind, Jeno speaks again before you could question him. “So that it’ll be easier to explain it to you," he mumbles.

Ironically, the close proximity between the two of you only makes it harder for you to focus, but easier for you to admire his handsome features. Puckered lips, furrowed eyebrows and his gold rimmed glasses slipping down slightly to rest on his nose bridge–Jeno couldn’t look any cuter in this moment as you watch him diligently scribble on the piece of paper. He is seemingly deep in thought about how he should explain this concept to you. Watching how focused Jeno was, you took the chance to lean in, giving him a peck on the cheek before retreating back quickly, chin resting on your palm as your gaze lingers on him, slyly pretending that nothing happened.

“You broke my train of thought!” he grunted. Jeno puts his pencil down and turns to you with an annoyed expression on his face, but swiftly looks back down on the scribbled paper upon making eye contact with you.

It only dawns on him now that you were staring at him the entire time.

“Don’t do that, you’re distracting me.” His voice is quiet, eyes basically glued to that piece of paper.

“Sorry, I can’t help it. You’re so handsome and cute.” You pause, seeing a bashful smile appear on his face. “Did you know that a guy is the most attractive when he’s focused?”

“Do you still want my help or not?” Jeno asks with a grimace in his voice.

“Yes, yes, I do. I’m sorry,” you apologise with a small smile. It was difficult to resist the urge of calling him cute again, but you decide not to tease him any further for the sake of his sanity.

“Good. Now pay attention, I need to leave for training soon and if you still don’t get it by then... that’s on you.”

Jeno lied. Even after long hours of training, he still went on FaceTime that night to thoroughly explain the concepts that you were unfamiliar with, not minding that he was practically fighting for his life trying not to fall asleep on you.

That Tuesday night, you went to sleep with the widest grin on your face. Heart carrying so much love for your boyfriend who coincidentally asked you out for the first time ever on a Tuesday too.

03 WEDNESDAY.

Wednesday's child is full of woe. If there was a sentence that could explain how you feel about this particular day, this would be it. Mid-week crisis should be an actual thing if it wasn’t already one. Not only did Wednesday feel like the longest day of the week, you’d also feel extremely restless, wishing nothing more than for the weekends to come quickly.

Back-to-back seminars for six hours with only a short forty-five minute break in between had to be the most unappealing thing known to mankind, and you’d most certainly file a complaint if it was possible. Then again, this is perhaps part of the university experience.

However, this still isn’t the most devastating part. What truly makes this a tragedy for you is that Jeno isn't there to accompany you through it all due to conflicting timetables. He also had training again, this time outside of school, which meant that he’d only be free after that.

You’re so used to being around Jeno all the time that you can’t seem to spend even the littlest amount of time away from him even though you pretty much see him almost every day of the week. Talk about being clingy.

The feeling’s mutual for Jeno though. Just like you, he seems to hate the idea of not being by your side too, evident from the numerous messages he sends throughout the day despite knowing that your replies would take longer than usual to come in.

You’re not complaining. Because in one way or another, you feel like that’s his way of being by your side, albeit not physically. It is his text messages of checking up on you and ensuring that you didn’t skip your meals that make this unbearable day a little more bearable. Most of all, you look forward to being on FaceTime with him at night, having him all to yourself after such a long day.

Jeno usually ends training at seven-thirty in the evening, but sometimes it could overrun till eight. Thereafter, he still has to travel home for an hour or so, get dinner and wash up. He hides this from you, but very often he attempts to rush home because he doesn’t want you to stay up too late waiting for him, and because he wants to talk after an entire day of not seeing you.

Jeno makes sure to call before eleven, always starting the conversation by telling you how much he misses you, as if he didn’t already tell you that through text. He goes on to ramble about his day, how he saw the time match the digits of your birthdate and it made him think of you, not forgetting to also ask you how did your day go. Not long after, you’d notice his breaths becoming louder, his speech slightly slurred, and that’s when you know that he’s going to fall asleep soon. Even so, you don’t say anything, simply watching him slowly fall into a deep slumber.

“Good night Jeno,” you whisper softly, careful not to wake him up and taking one last look at how peaceful he looks before ending the call.

04 THURSDAY.

Due to how busy the both of you were, you are grateful for the small gap that Jeno has between classes and practices, just so that you’d still be able to see his face. Once it's about time for him to leave, you get ready to say goodbye to Jeno with a warm hug , when he suddenly stops you by placing his hand over yours.

“Do you want to watch me train?” he asks. “You can say no. But I just thought we could get dinner after so we can spend a little more time together,” Jeno adds, his thumb rubbing small circles against your knuckle. An air of expectancy fills the small booth that the both of you occupy in the reading room as he awaits your answer.

“I’d love to, Jen.” Flipping his hand over so that you could intertwine your fingers together, you jokingly rush Jeno to pack up his things, telling him how excited you are to finally sit in and watch him train for the first time ever. You’ve only ever heard funny anecdotes of his teammates from him every once in a while, and you’re beyond elated to finally meet the people who bring so much joy into his life.

On the way to the hockey rink, you ask Jeno more about the sport and various positions. You weren’t a sports person but thought that it’d be a good time to know more about it, especially because of Jeno’s immense passion towards hockey.

“So what position do you play?” you glance over at him with curious eyes.

“Centre,” he says, a sense of pride in his voice. Before you could ask him what that position entails, Jeno beats you to it with a rather cheeky explanation. “You just need to know that it’s called centre because I’m supposed to be the centre of your attention.”

True to his words, Jeno remains as the centre of your attention for the entire duration. You’d never admit this to him, but he becomes even more charming than he already is when he’s on the rink. Especially during the friendly match that his team had with a neighbouring school towards the end of practice, his entire demeanour changed so much that you’d think that you were watching an entirely different person.

The way Jeno plays is extremely captivating to watch. You’re not sure how he does it, but you can see him mentally strategizing his next move as the clock ticks. Even down to the last minute of the match, Jeno had not let his guard down, the fire in his eyes so prominent that anyone could see that he was determined to end this with a bang.

Skating across the rink, Jeno moves at the speed of light, making it hard for his opponents to catch him. He is the ace of the team after all, so it wouldn’t be that easy to mess with him. His eyes follow the puck, set on scoring yet another goal despite their favourable lead. The opponents are in full defence mode too, though it wouldn’t make much of a difference since there's too short of a duration left for them to catch up. Speedily, Jeno intercepts the puck from the opposing team, skating away at high speed, still vigilantly guarding the puck with his stick. With the help of his teammates who effectively block the opponent from getting to Jeno, he manages to catch both your eyes and heart in that moment, making you hold your breath in anticipation as he skilfully shoots the puck into the goal at the very last second.

In the matter of a few minutes, Jeno returns to his usual self, smiling widely and cheering loudly with his teammates to celebrate their victory. And of course, he turns to look at you, giving you a smile that holds some semblance of shyness. It’s fascinating to watch how different he is on and off the rink, but it also reminds you how in love you are with the many sides of him; those you have seen and those that you have yet to uncover.

As promised, Jeno takes you to the burger joint down the alley near your university afterwards. During dinner, he still reenacts the funny incidents that happened during training even though you were present when they occurred. Though, this sweet gesture admittedly warms your heart because it makes you feel even more included in his life, as though he is gradually inviting you to be a part of his world, just as you do the same when talking about your interests and hobbies with him.

Time seems to slow down whenever you’re with him but that’s okay because time is merely a social construct. What matters is that you get to spend time with Jeno, who is now walking you home. With his hand in yours, Jeno slows down his footsteps to match your pace. The atmosphere is filled with shared laughter, along with Sweet Nothing softly playing through Jeno’s airpods, both of you taking one side each. It would have been wired earphones, but a certain someone claims that it gets in the way… of what, he refuses to elaborate.

It is also a homely moment like this that makes the both of you wish that time could slow down even more as you basked in each other’s comforting presence, sharing the same sentiment of hoping that the walk to your house will last a little longer. Anything to prolong the time that you spend with each other, right?

05 FRIDAY.

Friday may be your favourite day of the week because it is when Jeno is finally free after three consecutive days of training. It is also movie night, where you and Jeno would take turns to go over to each other’s place every Friday evening.

It was a few weeks into freshman year, when the two of you made this pact after discovering that you were neighbours. How is it possible that you’ve never noticed Jeno before anyway?

Funny enough, it all began with you telling your mum that you made a new friend in college who goes by the name of Jeno. That name clearly rang a bell, prompting her to start narrating her grocery adventures with Jeno’s mother, excitedly telling you how close they were. In her words, “Jeno is a really sweet boy, I’ve been dying to introduce you to him but it slipped my mind so many times!” Gushing about the said boy, she hurried you to invite his family over for dinner, rushing into the kitchen herself to whip a meal up in no time.

The awkwardness of the dinner was enough to kill you from the inside, to say the least. Mothers being mothers, you had to admit that you were amazed at their ability to jump from topic to topic in the span of a few minutes. Together with Jeno’s and your father laughing, they also joined in the conversation from time to time. Meanwhile, you and Jeno sat in silence side by side, and spoke only when necessary.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but can we excuse ourselves? It’s my first time at your house and I was wondering if ____ could show me around.” Jeno asked, giving your mum a polite smile as he glanced sideways at you momentarily.

“Of course! The two of you should get to know each other better. Ah, young lo–”

You cleared your throat, preventing your mum from completing her sentence. “Friendship,” she corrected herself.

Believe it or not, you had no idea how dramatic of a person she was up until this moment, or maybe it’s because there was something about Jeno that reeled in her overflowing sense of, you’re guessing, motherly love? That would also explain why the old ladies at the school cafeteria were so nice to Jeno, constantly giving him extra servings. You didn’t know what to think of Jeno’s suggestion since you’ve only known him for a few weeks, and being alone with him couldn’t be any better after having such an awkward dinner. At that time, however, it seemed like it was the next best alternative that you had.

“Let’s go.” You stood up abruptly to disrupt the conversation so that the adults (specifically, your mum) would not have an opportunity to say anything else to make the atmosphere any weirder than it already was. Jeno trailed behind you like a lost puppy, quickly following you upstairs to your room.

“I’m so sorry, my mum doesn’t think before she speaks sometimes. I hope you don’t mind what she said.” You broke the silence, not knowing where this conversation was going exactly, suddenly regretting speaking at all. You took a quick look at Jeno, who was now leaning against the doorframe, standing quite a distance away from the edge of your bed where you were sitting.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a soft smile while shaking his head lightly.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” you asked, the smile on his face now replaced with a frown as he gave you a quizzical look.

“You’re still leaning against the door?” you asked again, even though it was meant to be more of a statement rather than a question.

Jeno bursted out laughing, “I thought I was making you uncomfortable!” He raised his hand to rub the nape of his neck. He moved away from the door to sit next to you, still leaving a small space between you two.

“Want to watch The Lion King?” you suggested, mindlessly browsing through Disney Plus.

“Are you kidding me?”

You creased your eyebrows in confusion. “No... why?”

“I love Lion King!” Jeno said a little too enthusiastically, his eyes widening at how there were so many movies in the world, yet you somehow suggested watching his favourite Disney movie.

With the awkward tension in the atmosphere finally gone, you and Jeno made yourselves comfortable on your bed. Unknowingly, the both of you scooted closer to each other’s side as the movie played. By the time the credits scene started to roll, the both of you were already fast asleep, your legs tangled with each other’s under the sheets.

And as most people would like to say, the rest is history.

However, Fridays weren’t just reserved for movie nights. Soon enough, Friday nights also turned into sleepover nights, which meant that other than your usual movie marathons, you and Jeno end up doing other things too.

Like now, the two of you just ended a karaoke singing session that you would most probably never have again. It was far too loud in the night for your neighbour’s liking, causing them to lodge a complaint, making you and Jeno permanently cross that out of your sleepover activities.

Jeno comes up with a better idea of setting up a cosy outdoor blanket fort in your backyard to lay on. The sense of tranquillity is like no other, you and Jeno having a heart-to-heart talk in hushed whispers with crickets chirping in the background.

In the end, you fall asleep first, feeling burnt out from the entire school week. Although Jeno knows that you’re already asleep, he still makes sure to pat your head lightly, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Good night angel,” he breathes, wrapping his arms around your waist before drifting to sleep.

06 SATURDAY.

Saturdays are without a doubt, the most exciting for you. As a matter of fact, dating Jeno is a thrill in itself; but what makes Saturdays exceptional is Jeno taking you out on proper dates.

You and Jeno have been together for slightly over three years now, yet every date always feels like the first. The butterflies in your stomach? They never go away.

Initially, going on a date with Jeno seemed to be nerve-wracking to you because he’d always bring you somewhere new. Naturally, you thought it was the suspense of not knowing what he planned that made you feel this way.

Deep down, however, you knew that you simply felt this way because it was… Jeno.

“Why don’t I have anything to wear?” you shout in exasperation to no one in particular as you rummage through the closet to find a perfect outfit for your date. It feels like Jeno has already seen you in everything that you own, and you’re this close to going on Pinterest for outfit ideas.

That is, until you hear a text notification sound from your phone. It was a text message from Jeno informing you that he's coming over in five minutes. You give up searching, hastily picking out a white turtleneck, layering an autumn brown velvet overall over it.

“You look pretty today.” This is the first thing that Jeno says to you when you open the door, once again leaning against the door frame with a mellow smile on his face. You can feel the heat rushing to your cheeks because of his compliment.

And there it is again, the butterflies. Lee Jeno looking as flawless as he could be, a cosmic latte dress shirt tucked with a pair of black pants along with a brown leather jacket draped over his shoulders, coincidentally matching your outfit. To top it off, he’s wearing a beret today too, suddenly making him look cuter. It’s as if he travelled back in time, turning into your Victorian boyfriend.

“But... why are you dressed like this?” Jeno asks, rudely interrupting your staring session.

“Why? Is there something wrong with my outfit?” you were perplexed by his sudden question. Did he not like it? Should you change out of it? He said you looked pretty though. Besides, what else were you going to wear? You stare intently at Jeno, anxious about what he's going to say next. You hope it isn’t something bad.

“I thought I told you we were going cycling...” He stops mid-sentence, brows raised as he purposefully gives you a once-over again.

The tension in your shoulders disappears upon hearing his words. You roll your eyes at him, pushing his right shoulder lightly. “You’re going to ride a bicycle in a leather jacket?”

“Nevermind, please pretend I never said that.” Jeno makes a sulky expression upon realising that he did not plan out his joke well. But he is also quick to shoot you an endearing smile. “I love your outfit, baby.”

“You’re so lucky you’re cute, Lee Jeno.” And that I love you.

Thank goodness though, you were definitely not prepared to make another mess out of your wardrobe to search for another outfit when you’ve painstakingly organised it ten minutes ago.

In many ways, dates with Jeno always feel like the first. A simple thing, like the slight brush of your shoulders against each other as you’re walking down a random shopping street was sufficient to send your heart racing. Jeno’s hesitation to hold your hand in a crowded amusement park even though he really wants to, but he doesn’t know when is the right time to grab it–you can feel it, he fumbles with his fingers, reaches out every now and then, but pulls back immediately when his fingers accidentally meet yours.

And the memory of today that you can’t seem to forget. It’s spring, so Jeno thought that it’s a perfect time to bring you to a flower field located at the outskirts of the city. He’d once seen you looking at pictures of it on Instagram, making a mental note about it before he went home to do more research that night.

It wasn’t an uncommon thing for Jeno to take pictures of you, but when the both of you arrived, he didn’t stop at all, you swear he probably has a thousand pictures of you just from today.

However, what surprised you more was that when you asked Jeno to pose in front of the daisy fields, he happily did, even though there was still a hint of shyness within him since he wasn’t exactly comfortable with being photographed at times. He even went as far as to ask the other visitors to help take pictures of the both of you together, which was something you usually did. It wasn’t something extravagant, but it sure was endearing, and you’re positive that discovering a new side of Jeno made you giddy. So giddy that you never knew how it was possible for your heart to be swelling with so much love for another person.

Just like how daisies symbolise new beginnings, you hope that it's the same for you and Jeno’s story too. To not have endings, but only new beginnings.

07 SUNDAY.

Being certified homebodies, you and Jeno wholeheartedly enjoy staying in. It is also perhaps an excuse for the both of you to cuddle and nap together. You’d think that by the end of the week, you’ll be tired of seeing Jeno’s face for the seventh time. You joke that you are, but in reality, you could never bring yourself to grow tired of being together with your favourite person.

You usually go over to Jeno’s house in the afternoon, which is the ideal time to take a nap. Sometimes, you prayed that it would rain, so that you’ll have an excuse to steal one of his hoodies. Even so, he lets you take them as and when you want to. What is he supposed to do, say no? Of course not.

Napping wasn’t supposed to be your favourite hobby, but if it meant that you could enjoy the warmth and comfort of being in Jeno’s embrace, then clearly, any other hobby in the world couldn’t possibly compare to it. Like a baby, you snuggle close to rest your head on Jeno’s chest, putting your arms around his neck, taking in his soft cotton scent. The faint sound of his heartbeat and gentle breathing lulls you to sleep, it is very much like a lullaby on its own.

The best feeling in the world is to wake up the same way you fell asleep–still in Jeno’s arms. Not wanting to awake him, you slowly loosen your arms from his neck. Carefully, you brush his hair to the side, getting a clearer view of his face as you tenderly caress the mole below his eye, and then his cheek. He has pretty eyelashes, you’ve come to notice.

“Jeno,” you call out softly, in hopes of waking him up, but not wanting to be too loud at the same time. You wanted to let him continue sleeping, but the sky is already dark.

“Jeno, it’s time to wake up,” you try again. The clock on his side table reads half past six in the evening, indicating that it is almost dinnertime. His eyes were still shut, but he let out a groggy sound to let you know that he was awake, mumbling something shortly after. You didn’t quite catch it, but you think that he asked you to let him sleep for another five minutes. Typical Jeno.

“But it’s time for dinner,” you try to sit up, only causing Jeno to hug your waist tighter. You could barely move an inch with the way he was holding you.

“Just five minutes.” You let out a sigh, giving in to him.

“Jeno?”

He hums in response, which you take as a cue to ask your question. “Would you still love me if I were a worm?”

His eyelids finally flutter open, sleep still evident in his eyes. He appears to be in deep thought about your question before he answers. “Yeah. I’d still love you.”

“Hmm…” You narrow your eyes at him. “That took you a while to answer.”

“I just woke up,” he retorts.

“Fine.” You close your eyes and move closer to Jeno’s body, enjoying how he feels like your personal human pillow.

“Okay but what if there were other cuter worms? Like if I weren’t your ideal worm girlfriend, would you still date me?”

“Baby…”

#jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #jeno fluff #jeno x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct #nct dream #lee jeno #jeno

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alluringjae · 2 years

Text

sinfully vowed to you - jjh

open your legs, not your bible | sinfully vowed to you

SUMMARY. how far will you go for love? perhaps to the point you’re bound for marriage, but the groom you seek isn’t the one your heart beats for. and desperately, you must gamble everything without regrets.

PAIRING. jaehyun x fem!reader

WORD COUNT. 13.2k

GENRE. loads of angst, fluff, and slice of life at the end | rich bad boy!jaehyun, rich good girl!reader, implied enemies to lovers!au, forbidden romance!au

PLAYLIST. don’t blame me (sped up and reverb) by taylor swift [the main reason of how this story came to be]

WARNINGS. arranged married to a surprise neo, mentions and appearances of more neos, references to and slight bad-mouthing Christianity, one heated argument where 2 of the 10 commandments are recited, mentions and portrayal of manipulative parents, explicit language, petnames, “stop the wedding” shenanigans, mentions of Satan, mentions and potrayals of physical and verbal assault, eloping, allusions to virginity loss and sex, mention of praise kink, tension between rival families, pregnancy ((let me know I missed anything else))

⤑ vero’s words: reposting bc tvmblr being a bit rood for not showing up on the tags 💀 also did some minor edits and added extra parts i forgot from my final draft huhuhu but omg yeah thank you for all the love for the first part!!! i didn’t expect it to blow up my phone notifs soooo i hope this second part (unsure if it’s the last one who knows right) makes up the sudden cliffhanger HAHAHAHA happy reading!!! 💗

⤑ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. i don’t own the people/characters written, but the plot is mine. translations or copying my work is not allowed.

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback or hellos!

SIX HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

They say a wedding is every little girl’s dream. Whether it was the white gown or having a gorgeous partner at the end of the aisle whom they truly love, it’s like magic unfolding by the eyes of their esteemed guests.

The power of love ever so beautiful, and how everyone anticipates for it to grown each passing. And for the couple, to be eternally bound and in love until their final breath.

You were one of those little girls caught up in the fantasy, until it was tainted by the bitter reality of your pre-constructed future.

Hushed chatter are exchanged between your assigned makeup artist and hair stylist. They express pride in being booked by such an influential family for such a lavish wedding, doing their best to live up to the high expectations. But they’ll never understand how the smiles you give when they loop you into their small talk, it’s an act. Deep down, you dread their fruits of their labor working out.

Yet you wish to stop yourself from changing into this magnificent white gown cascading every curve of your figure. The upper half is of a tube design, folded twice and sewn. As for the bottom, the fabric are crafted into ruffles that flair until the bottom. A veil is clasp on top of your bun, awaiting until the big event to place over your head. Oh, there are gloves to match.

“Keep yourself entirely covered and pure after your wedding vows.” Your mother once insights as you nod along during your first dress fitting back then. Quite ironic to hear that now, huh?

Eventually (and much to your convenience), the overall styling is done. You bid genuine gratitude to the staff before they exit your hotel room while you remain alone to rest up. It was going to be a long day of superficial joy before facing lifelong period of unhappiness and duty.

As much as you want to enjoy your beautiful reflection right by the full-length mirror, your heart cannot simply move past the tragedy and pain strongly throbbing inside you.

What was the point to be dolled up like this if the groom you seek is not the chosen one?

And what more for a wedding being the happiest day of every little girl’s life if your arranged groom already has a special someone vacating their heart?

The outside world can only rejoice for such a joyous occasion, but the two of you can only mourn for the freedoms that have been permanently washed away.

Quite frankly enough, you still remember that very day you met your fiancé. You can only grieve for what has already been done without your willing knowledge and consent…

And for what else is to come after it.

TEN MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

It’s merely two days after your father’s sudden announcement of marriage, and your groom-to-be reached out to you through your mother. He didn’t have your number, so he contacted her first then you.

Meanwhile, your poor heart remains to sob and cry out every ounce of pain. Yet it never decreased, especially when you still had to tell Jaehyun. But you still didn’t have the bravery, dodging his calls and texts on your burner phone.

For the meantime, you needed to face your groom-to-be in hopes for at least a civil relationship.

The cafe near your office was a good 5 minute walk for him, and out there he already laid out his honest intentions and thoughts.

“I understand what we must do for our families’ empires.” He starts off in a downcast manner. “But do know that affection-wise, I can never reciprocate it with you.”

You curved a mini grin. “What’s she like then?”

“Wait, are you not offended?” He’s taken aback. Nothing has occurred but rejecting any future romantic endeavors to the kindest and most angelic woman in the city. He’s aware of the asshole move, but your reaction is very unlike you.

You laugh, breaking a bit of the tension. “Should I be?”

“We’re set to be married, to fall in love over time. So it’s unfair for you if I can’t give you just that. And my, you deserved to be loved in full.”

You heart wrenches. “But you deserve that just as much as I do because--“

“Because?”

“My heart belongs to another as well.”

Silence floods the both of you. Eye contact is evident, not ignored. Your irises drain of energy, of hope. And yet, there’s a nudge of comfort in sharing burdens together.

The burden of your liberty fading day by dad and impenetrable heartbreak.

And even if Jaehyun doesn’t know it yet, you’re already grieving.

“If not a loving relationship,” He cuts the tension. “May we at least remain amicable? I understand that our fates are shitty, but I cannot find any reasons to hate you.”

“I-I’d like that.” You stutter, glad that one good thing came out of a rather pleasant conversation. “I look forward to putting on a façade for the world with you.”

And as if by magic, your future dons a gummy smile. “Likewise, (Y/N). It’ll be a lot less hellish with you by my side.”

The two of you shake hands to it.

“I truly apologize for my family’s greed, (Y/N).” He says with guilt.

“I apologize for the same thing as well, Doyoung.”

THREE HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

Speaking of the man, your phone pings with a notification. The two of you communicate constantly like close friends, a surprising pro to everything.

DY KIM: My mother is looking for you

DY KIM: She wants a photo of her future mother-in-law

(Y/N) Lee: Ew gross

(Y/N) Lee: How fake can she get this time in liking me

DY KIM: As fake as her beloved nose job

(Y/N) Lee: Jesus Doyoung

DY KIM: HAHAHAHA I’d say hurry once you’re done having some last minute alone time

DY KIM: I really don’t want to be around your parents, especially your over-the-top, conservative mother

(Y/N) Lee: Is she telling you not to meet me rn bc it’s gonna bring us misfortune

(Y/N) Lee: If she is, don’t even bother

(Y/N) Lee: Althoughhhh I do stand by that if you don’t mind

DY KIM: Oh, I see. I’m sorry about that, I didn’t know

(Y/N) Lee: No worries, we have our whole lives to figure more things about each other

DY KIM: such a scary idea

(Y/N) Lee: not as scary as both your parents asking me about our future children

DY KIM: I AM STILL SO SORRY ABOUT THAT

(Y/N) Lee: It’s alright, Doyoung

(Y/N) Lee: That is one of my main duties as your future wife

DY KIM: But I don’t wanna think of that yet

DY KIM: Let’s focus on getting through this show

DY KIM: So I’ll see you in the altar?

(Y/N) Lee: Definitely, see you then.

It’s strange how you and Doyoung managed to create a friendship in the midst of your emotional distresses. Maybe in this lifetime, you’re only destined a marriage out of duty. But out of love? There’s no room for that.

Though perhaps now, you may have given yourself an exception. You share a loving look in the mirror because regardless of the occasion, you’re dressed to the nines. You shall not waste it.

You’re only going to get married once after all, right?

“Miss Lee.” Someone knocks on the bedroom door of your suite. It was one of the wedding planners, whose arms carry a captivating bouquet of white roses.

Your favorite.

“These are lovely!” Your legs carefully rush towards her, hoping not to break your heels. “Are these the flowers I’ll be walking the down aisle with?”

“Yes!” She replies. “In fact, this was a last-minute decision because the original red roses sent by the Kims are a bit too striking to the eye. You should be the main star after all.”

You nod. “If that’s the case, may I know who I sent them?”

“Funny you ask, Ms. Lee.” The planner takes a few steps back, only to return with an enclosed white envelope. “This gift came from an anonymous person, and one of my team members was informed that only you can read the letter it comes.”

Your brows scrunch in suspicion and confusion as you accept the envelope. But before you can question it, the planner interrupts your thoughts. “The car you’ll be riding in to go to the church is arriving soon, so we must head out in a bit.”

“Yes, I got that.” You affirm, trying not to get too caught up on this extra frenzy. Curiosity is a great trait of yours, but it can be problematically uncontrollable at time. “May I just spend a few more minutes to read this letter and touch up on my perfume? This can be from all my brothers.”

“Of course.” With that, the planner bows with respect as she leaves the room and closes the door behind her. Without anymore time to waste, your fingers rip out the envelope whilst enjoying the fresh aroma of the flowers. Straight out of the shop for sure, could all your brothers possibly have the time to buy it?

Taeyong is too occupied with his wife and only son to consider such a request.

Ten, your half-brother, just flew in this morning from Thailand. Staying any longer than today can cause major havoc, especially with your mother.

Mark sucks at being romantic. No wonder he can’t keep any of his ex-girlfriends.

Jeno, well. It’s not his thing. Not with his playboy personality lately.

Haechan is still hungover from partying with his friends just last night according to your sibling group chat.

Yet even with this, you’d still like to give all of them the benefit of the doubt. As the only girl in the Lee family, they respect and love you in their own ways. And it’s your wedding day, for God’s sake. They’re aware of how unhappy you are despite denying such, so sending flowers are their way of cheering you up.

Oh, how wrong you are.

Innocently, you unfolded the letter and bit by bit, your mouth lets out a gasp. The handwriting is all too familiar from the first few words on top, alongside the fresh perfume that was sprayed on it.

It came from the last person you can ever expect. The last person you could think or dream about.

Yet the only person your heart desperately longs for.

You’re gutted, yet you needed to contain yourself.

But fuck, flashbacks of the last time you saw each other replay in your head. And none of them were good memories.

FIVE MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

Time is crucial in everything you do.

And you knew you fucked up when you kept delaying on telling Jaehyun your wedding when he saw it on today’s major headline in the news.

Here you two were, in your apartment where he manages to sneak in perfectly as always.

But confusion and anger were his driving emotions, and you couldn’t blame him the slightest.

What a coward you are.

“When will you ever stand up for yourself, (Y/N)? When will you call out those people who keep trampling over you?” Those were the first words he expressed, pacing your living room back and forth.

“But these are my parents, Jaehyun!” You tried to stay strong and neutral. You had no choice. “God, I hate them but I can’t lose them. If I do, I lose everyone else.”

“Are you really afraid of losing them or losing the privileges you’ve gained over the years from them?”

“Excuse me?”

“Admit that you are.” He marched forward where you stood. By the window, you’re looking down at the impending traffic. At the cars desperately eager to get home, was this how God saw everyone? Does He watch the suffering of His children in hopes they learn a lesson, or to put them through absolute misery?”

Because nothing else can destroy your heart but Jaehyun’s pain directly speaking at you.

“They’ll remove you from their wills and inheritance, try to blacklist you everywhere, badmouth you to other, rip the whole city apart even to find wherever you are if you run away.” He listed on and on. “How do I know? Because I’m afraid too.”

“Fearing of starting anew, fearing that no one will support you, fearing of what’s to come when you disobey mommy and daddy because you’ve broken Commandment #4.”

“Honor your mother and father.” You responded naturally. How can you not when it’s a major rule you followed all your life?

“But you and I both know that they’re neither deserving of such because they are a lot worthy in the deeper realms of hell.” He spat without care.

“Don’t say that!” You protest.

“But you know I’m right!” And you knew was, but your pride was too high for that. Call it your only sin, one of the seven deadly ones. Truly ironic on your end.

“But it’s not that easy to stray away from my family! Unlike you whose parents give you so much freedom to explore, I am always on a leash.” You try to defend yourself, close to being on the verge of tears. Everything you’ve built with Jaehyun is starting to fall apart. The only person who’s made you feel sane and at ease. But you’re cornered with no choice. “So if I choose to be impulsive, I’ll be trapped. Locked in my bedroom like Rapunzel.”

You distance your glare towards another view, not wanting Jaehyun to see your now falling tears. “And if I run away and fail, my fate can be similar to Taeyong and Ten.”

Memories of Taeyong and Ten being beaten up to a pulp by your father and his henchmen when they tried to expose the corruption of your family to a media news outlet replays your mind. You were still in university, and didn’t mean to see that happening if not for your dying thirst. There was a water dispenser outside your bedroom, and wretched sounds from downstairs piqued your curiosity. Alas, whines from your older brothers as he was punched ruthlessly and bloodily in the living room. Your mother can only cry on the side, merely being a bystander to the abuse because she can’t stop your father.

“But has it crossed your mind that maybe, your brothers not want you to go through what they went through?” Jaehyun tries to compromise. Anything to keep you in his life. “That they too want you to make the big change in the family?”

“Even if they did, I just can’t risk it. Especially as the only woman among my siblings, marriage out of duty is my right.”

“What about us? Our freedom?”

“Freedom for a love like ours…” You trail. “… can only leave us 6 feet under.”

“But aren’t we worth a fight?” He begs. “I know what we signed up for our love likes ours, but shouldn’t we give it a shot? Give us a shot.”

“Jaehyun--“

“Do you not love me enough? Or is it me that loves you more than you?”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Everything that’s happening right now is bullshit because rather than doing what’s right, isn’t pushing through with the wrong?” His temper nearly tramples your room down. Getting a noise complaint right now is the last thing you needed. “Isn’t that contradictory as the good religious girl you are?”

“So you think that I am the bad one here?” You almost scream in stress. “God, I should’ve never given you a chance.”

“Say that again, angel.” Jaehyun’s voice lowered.

Oh shit, you fucked up with your mindless words.

Your lover straightens his back, showcasing his full height. How he hovers you, making you walk back again while he follows. That’s until you hit the wall loud and clear. “I don’t think I can’t hear you clearly.”

“You Jeongs are trouble and always will be. How dumb of me to have been so merciful to sinners like you.”

“That’s not what you said when you kissed me back a lifetime ago.” He plays around your charade. He knows you don’t mean it.

“What makes you think God will take you back?” You challenge.

“If I had to attend mass every day and bathe myself in holy water to clear myself of every remnant of you, so be it.” His hands rake over your body, one landing on your waist and the other planted on the wall near your face. Lowering his stance, your body get goosebumps from the words that he whispers in your ear. “Commandment #9: Thou shall not bear false witness against me.”

You bit your lips, which he makes him smirk. To add, “We all know you’re uttering a lie, baby.”

As his ego inflates, that’s only when your senses return to their normal state. “Get off me.”

“But you’re my religion, baby.”

“Commandment #1: Thou shall have no other Gods before Me.” You retaliated. “Convert back to your old self, Jaehyun. The one before you rejoined Bible study.”

“Baby.”

“It’s blasphemous to describe me as a religion when I am no god. So If you really love me, you’d understand my sense of duty and let me go.” Don’t. Please. You’re at a point of confusion, but you cannot let whatever feelings you have for Jaehyun jeopardize your life. Perhaps these feelings shall pass too.

Right?

“(Y/N).”

“Please don’t make it any harder for us, Jaehyun.” You weakly pushed him away. “So please go.”

Jaehyun’s been the type to rile you up, to take risks. But he knows when enough is enough. As your orbs have been drained of its light, and your back slouched in fatigue, it’s a pain to see you this way.

But the pain that piles in his chest was more superior, and he starts to lash out. Like he’s back in square one with you.

“I loathe your family. You robbed my family all those years ago, so I thought I’d never like you no matter how kind-hearted you are in and outside the church. But I was so fucking wrong.” He starts to cry, which he rarely does. And it’s from the last person he ever expected it to be from. His only lover, the only person who understood him, was leaving him.

“You’re the only one who understood me when everyone turned their backs at me for my sharp tongue. Sure, we argued a lot but you put me in my place. In my cold world, you embraced me with warmth. You taught me how to soften up and make amends with Sungchan, and showed me what real love is unlike the harshness of my parents.” Your back was turned when he kept talking this point on, refusing to confront him more. It’s too much you can mentally and emotionally handle.

“But that doesn’t really matter anymore.” He sighs, giving up. “I fell for your tricks, and now, you robbed my whole heart. How it beats for you, and only you. Truly, robbing runs in your blood and it shall stay that way forever.”

“Jaehyun, wait--” From your cold stance, only now were you awakened by the consequences of your actions. But it was too late. Jaehyun was by your front door, opening it to exit your home.

And your life forever.

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

TWO HOURS BEFORE THE WEDDING.

Will you ever be ready to read this note when your parting all those months ago was bitter?

Yet it does cross your mind how he’s been, how can you not be?

If this was your last connection to him, you must savor it. All the sweetness and bitterness blazed in it.

Dearest my angel,

Weddings allow you to witness the passion and love between a couple right before your eyes. There’s truly nothing more breathtaking than that.

I am so sorry for the way I acted that night and each word I spat at you. I pressured you into something that you weren’t comfortable with out of my greed, inconsiderate of how much stress you already were under beforehand. Rather than putting you on the spot and lashing out my growing heartbreak, I should’ve been by your side. To be your shoulder to cry on, especially when we know what kind of love if we’re in.

But forgive me and my poor heart: it still cannot accept that you’re betrothed to another. I cannot invalidate my emotions that day either, but regardless. I am sorry for my actions that night.

They say our kind of love is forbidden, disrespectful to our ancestors who loathed each other. But can we really blame our souls to find connection in the mutual pains of our manipulative families? Should we choose to hate our neighbors because they told us to do so, to continue the generational tradition? Damn, we should never be religious if our sense of humanity is fucked.

By this time, you’re already dressed in a fascinating white gown. You’ve always been beautiful, but you’re bound to make every angel above cry in praise as you walk down the aisle. They’ll see what I see in you, even if I’m not the man who gets to take your hand. Until death do us part, but we’ve already parted before we can ever truly begin.

Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Thank you for making me realize how much I’m worth versus the bad things my parents say about me. Thank you for always encouraging me to go after my dreams even when a lot of people has turned their backs on. Most of all, thank you for loving me as I have loved you.

I don’t deserve a space in Heaven, but I am glad I found Heaven in you. And now, I’m ready to step down. Not necessarily to let you go yet, but in time, I’ll be able to let you go and look back at our memories fondly.

So please don’t shed any more tears if I am the cause of them; it aches my heart thinking of it because you deserve all the happiness in the world. Freely live a new life with your groom and create amazing memories with him.

I believe that my purpose in God’s plan for you, which is to love you fully and authentically in this world of lies, has been fulfilled.

- J

“We must leave in 5, (Y/N).” The muffled voice of the planner echoes through your trance, one that has you silently sobbing underneath your lips. Tears that threaten to brim down, but your head shakes before they do so.

What have you done? You became a slave to your cowardice for the longest time, only for your courage to finally knock some sense into you. You simply cannot go through this ceremony, you had to get outta there.

But it was already too late. Life doesn’t wait on cowards like you.

With the white bouquet in hand, your last connection with him, you pull yourself together.

“Alright, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

ONE HOUR BEFORE THE WEDDING.

Pictures here, pictures there.

The ceremony hasn’t started, and yet your parents and Doyoung’s demand numerous shots with you by the hotel and in the church. Your toes start to ache in your heels, and to your side, your eyes beg Taeyong and Ten to save you from your misery.

The latter boy laughs from afar, giving you a thumbs up. Or rather his expression read, “You’re on your own to do your duty!”

Meanwhile, Taeyong cuts in between you having dreaded small talk with Doyoung’s self-righteous mother. Already proud to claim herself as your mother-in-law, your ears can bleed for every screech in her tone when she opens her mouth. Under the excuse of “having some 1-on-1 time with my only sister”, Taeyong escorts you to a quiet, closed room within the church.

“Thank God for you, Yongie.” You hug him with utmost gratitude. “I’m about to lose my mind if Mrs. Kim wouldn’t shut up.”

Taeyong laughs, gladly returning your gesture. “Anything for you, little sis.”

You scoff, correcting him. “Your only sis.”

“You know what I mean.”

The two of you smile at each other, enjoying the comfort of silence. Since you were children studying in your living room back then to the first time Taeyong taught you how to drink when you turn 18, he was like your best friend. Through thick and thin, and against your parents the two of you were. Slowly, you’re breaking the cycle of bad deeds.

Or trying to. Because neither of you got away with your arranged marriages.

Speaking of which…

“So this is really happening, huh?” Taeyong starts as he hands over a bottle of water from the refrigerator behind him. It’s by luck the two of you ended up in the private lounge of the church for esteemed wedding guests. “Are you ready for this lifelong commitment, (Y/N)?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” You say flatly. “You had to go through this as well, but eventually, you began to love your wife so maybe it’ll work for me too.”

“I was very lucky with Minyoung. She’s my soulmate.” He smiles upon the thought of his lover, but it only enables the green monster of envy into your being. “But I don’t think our situations are ever going to be alike.”

You squint a brow from your stance by the window. “What do you mean?”

“I was single when I was arranged to be wed, no person vacating my heart nor had intentions to look for one.” He lingers, locking eyes with you. His bright, wide pupils that can easily read a person, it was like he was analyzing your entire mind and body language. But alas, he already knows a lot more than you can ever imagine.

It only explains how your fingers drastically slip from your bottle, spilling incandescently on the floor. Thankfully, it didn’t break because of the curtain above the wood. You alertly scurry away from the wet zone and lean against the glass bookcase of religious books. Dare not can you look at your brother in the eye, too busy being washed out with shame, guilt, and misery.

“Taeyong, I can explain.”

“What else is there to explain, little sis?” He keeps his composure, unfazed. No anger, no outlash, no negative emotions bubbling his figure. “Other than you’re in love with another man, one you know will cause mayhem when mother and father know of it.”

You want to deny everything he’s blurting out to you. But your sudden reaction is too much of a giveaway, and lying to Taeyong is impossible. Not when he’s best at sneaking around and digging secrets about everyone. Why do you think he figured out that Ten’s your half-brother, not just some exchange student from Thailand during your high school years?

“Of all the men out there, did it really have to be Jeong Jaehyun?” He asks with concern in his tone rather than judgement. It was the first time he utter the man’s name without hatred. Not when he’s someone very dear to you.

“Hush your voice! Someone might hear.” You order, peering at the door. Anyone can walk in, or eavesdrop. Your world has eyes and ears everywhere.

“Just answer the question, (Y/N).” His tone deafens, but his composure hasn’t wavered.

You sigh, gazing downwards while your fingers tightly clutch on your gown. “The heart wants what it wants. And I’m sure that until the end of time, it’ll always long for him.”

Taeyong remains speechless momentarily to calibrate with his thoughts. He’s been hesitant with Jaehyun the second he saw return to church a lifetime ago. Always up to no good, yet never to start a fight because he’s not the type. And luckily, they never crossed paths outside. He recalls how nervous he was upon hearing from the latest gossip (aka your mom) that Jaehyun joined the Bible study as probation for his consistent outside bar fights. You’re a consistent goer, so he can only pray that nothing bad happens to you.

Over the course of time, he witnessed Jaehyun tame down and become more active in church. Rather than be bitchy, he was impressed. Only God can judge people, not him. Yet at the same time, he observed how more laidback you became. You’re firm to your beliefs and faith, but not really the toxic, conservative type to force others that your beliefs were better than yours. It was more like you’ve loosened up strings and allowed to let your hair down, socializing more and trying new things. Perhaps riled your mother up for being “unladylike” at times, yet it didn’t bother you anymore. If you had fun and hurt nobody, how should a conservative mother’s unnecessary opinion affect you?

So now, onto you and Jaehyun.

It took him back when you’d both get in trouble by the nuns for your arguments, earning a scolding from him on the phone because “you’re better than this!” or a similar kind of pep talk. It’s merely enemies to somewhat friends when he thinks of the both of you, especially when you opened up how you came into a compromising understanding with Jaehyun out of maturity.

But the idea of love came rushing as he unintentionally saw the two of you kiss on the second floor of the open church. Jaehyun’s palms were situated on your waist while your arms loop behind the nape of his neck, both of you smiling at every movement your lips made.

The second floor is where the choir stays, and you and Jaehyun were packing up their songbooks post-mass. He showed you the different colors of light being reflected from the stained glass artworks. Specifically the image of the Virgin Mary, it lit up the best before the sunset. The both of you were distracted from such beauty, and eventually towards each other when specks of colored light hit your faces. Caught up in a meaningful moment, a passionate kiss where your bodies are right in front of the big crucifix was followed.

A symbol of showing Him that love had no boundaries or limitations.

A symbol that further enlightened Taeyong on how you’ve both changed.

You and Jaehyun balanced each other out over time, so it should be a no-brainer that this was going to happen. Yet he chose not to say anything about it then because he wanted to hear it from you. It was clearly a private moment too. He could’ve been mad, but he wasn’t.

You’re in love, and it’s real.

However, it’s only leading into a loophole of misery. Arranged marriages are a given in your clan, hence refraining from creating close relationships with the opposite sex. Oh, how you broke that rule ruthlessly.

“Who else knows?” You quiver, self-conscious and vulnerable. Were you not secretive enough? Did the burner phones you and Jaehyun used were actually trackable? Did someone follow you? All sorts of questions cloud your already cluttered brain.

“Ten.” Taeyong bluntly responds, and you stiffened.

As much as you love Ten, any so-called steamy information he gets within his circle he uses it as blackmail just like Taeyong. You would know; you were there when he confronted your father about his affair with his mother. That if he has no place in his empire, he’d expose such a scandal. It’s no question your mother (his step-mother when he got adopted a month after the threat) despises him to the core, a lot more than her disloyal husband.

But before the paranoia can worsen, Taeyong chimes in. “Don’t even think he’ll use it against you. In fact, he’s in favor of such like I am.”

“Wait what?!” Now, you’re confused.

“I know I confronted you at the most wrong time, and my tone this whole time is very vague.” He clarifies, and with every word, he walks toward you. As his clammy hands now holding yours, he fully lets out his main truth. “You have to make a choice, and we know this wedding isn’t the right one.”

“Taeyong, it’s too late.” You beg, utterly weak in his eyes. And how it aches him to see you like this. “He’ll never take me back. Not after he found out about the news.”

“You can never be too sure, so I wholeheartedly think that you need to make a move.” Taeyong’s quick vision spots a growing tear in your lid, wiping it carefully with his index finger. “It’s always been you being a pawn in our parents’ game. But this time, change the direction and claim your power as queen.”

“But our younger brothers…”

“I failed to set a proper example before so please learn from my experiences, (Y/N). Show them that we cannot let ourselves be controlled by our parents.”

Right as you wanted to reply, an impatient set of knocks intrude your now-or-never conversation.

“I’m already annoyed that I wasn’t invited to your heartfelt chat.” Ten’s sarcasm pipes in, which eases the tension surprisingly. “But the wedding starts in 5, and I want to spend some time with the bride as well.”

Taeyong hastily unlocks the door, while you followed behind him. Lo and behold, Ten graces a mischievous smirk as he leans against the door frame. Taeyong pecks your temple a final with a fervent look screaming “time is running” before he runs to assist Jeno refix his necktie.

That leaves you with Ten. With his arms crossed, he first marvels at your beauty.

“My sister, ever so beautiful.” The sweet scent of his parfum whiffs your nostrils, making you hum in comfort and familiarity. Regardless of being half-siblings, you always treated him the same as the rest.

“Thank you for coming. I feared that you wouldn’t after your recent brawl with dad.”

“I’d never let any shitty fight with that monster stop me from see you walk down the aisle. Plus, when are we not fighting?” He jokes, his hands finding the cloth of your veil to help you put it over your head. As per tradition as the beauty of the bride must only be saved by her groom. “But are you really happy to be here?”

Always straight to the point, that was Ten for you. With one brow lifting upwards in question, he continues on. “I’ve always known that you wanted real love, and when you did, you chose not to go through with it.”

“It’s complicated, and you know that.”

“Do I?” He challenges. “You’re in love with a boy who’s part of the rival family. That’s not hard to piece together.”

“How do you even know it’s him we’re talking about?”

“What other guy, excluding us siblings, have you been constantly around with?”

“Doyoung is there.”

“But he came in the picture late. Jaehyun, however--” He lengthens the tension. “He may have gotten on your last nerve numerous times in Bible study, but not when I saw you both have a secret late-night date by the Han River.”

Your eyes widened. Taeyong was right earlier. “Excuse me what?!”

Ten laughs at your shock. “I was trying to easen my hangover from my bar-hopping adventures with our younger brothers that night, but definitely sobered up when I saw you and him giggling over the smallest things by the river.”

“Ten, I—” It was your only public date with him, when no one could ever question or follow your moves. Even managed to convince your parents that you needed fresh air that day after all the stress at the company headquarters.

“Life is too fucking short, (Y/N).” He lays out his advice flatly. No detours, no sweet words. Just the real, harsh truth. “If you don’t make a stand, the regret of it all will kill you.”

PRESENT TIME.

Time can’t spare you a moment to breathe to answer him or deny his intentions. Because the second the wedding planner stressfully calls you over to stand behind the main church doors, all you can focus was this event. This wedding, one that numerous people anticipated. Loads of influential families that are acquainted with your parents filled up every pew, bridesmaids and groomsmen are lining up to enter the church first.

On the other hand, your parents stood each side of you. They beam in excitement, while you try to match them. Everything is for their selfish sake, anyways.

As the doors officially open, harmonious music from the band on the second floor play for everyone’s glee. Couple by couple, flower girl after flower girl, then Doyoung’s youngest cousin as the ring bearer, every single person has their eye on you. How much you’ve grown over the years, the elegance you embody is simply natural and no gown or makeup can compete with that.

Especially your groom, who shares an enchanted gaze at you from afar. And as flawless as he looks in his black suit and tie, the truth-binding words of your older brother resurface your mind. From trying to appreciate the efforts put in making the church a more enamoring location for a wedding, uncontrollable tears grace your visage. You’re glued to the program of this show, and any refusals will be disrespectful.

“Don’t get too emotional now.” Your mother comforts, only thinking that you’re overwhelmed in joy. “It’s only getting better from here.”

Lies.

Only you and Doyoung can truly share the same feeling at this moment. Even if he finds you ever so dashing, he proceeds to mask his own pain with a tight-lipped smile as he watches you walk down the long, flowery aisle. It was a representation of your life together ahead, especially seeing the petals blacken from the dirt. The reality of it all is only hitting you now as your parents hand you over to Doyoung, who directs you to the center. His hands still hold on to your covered ones, keeping up your façade.

“I’m sorry.” He mouths.

“Me too.” You reply.

The first of many. Such a disgrace to the crucifix above, yes. But what else can the two of you do now?

The priest politely greets the two of you before the ceremony officially begins.

The first and second readings ran smoothly, being read by your father and Doyoung’s mother. It’s almost like a typical mass, where the Homily often bores you to the point you wanted to pass out. Even had Doyoung, who sat beside you, worried.

“You look pale.” He comments. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’m fine.” You reassure with a genuine smile. “It’s just hot in this church.”

“When has it not been?” He tries to joke, which you actually enjoyed.

Once the short-lived humor died down, you try to refocus your mind on the ongoing Homily. Surprisingly, you finally pick up and find yourself attentive for a change.

“Love is blind, they say. Perhaps, that’s true, as one cannot control how their heart can beat for another one. But there is also this saying: souls don’t meet by accident. Nothing in life is a coincidence: there’s always a reason why they meet. And when they do, it creates magic. They balance each other out in aspects they fall short, but not necessarily complete them. They bring the best sides of them out, yet fully let their vulnerabilities come under the light without fright. Because they know they’ll be protected than reprimanded.”

You’re unsure how restless your pupils became, eager for new perspectives. Maybe you need a fresher view other than the bright altar? If only you had your eye drops with you to alleviate the dryness, you certainly wouldn’t have felt this way.

As you blink once, twice, a couple more times, your eyes begin to feel better from the natural tears they make to lubricating itself. However, little did you realize where you were looking at.

From the altar, your vision went peripheral. By the second floor, right beside the choir, a silhouette stands up from their pew. Arms crossed and wrapping their arms around their blazer, he was rather suspicious. At this point, you’re quite acquainted with every guest present today. To the point that no one is meant to be seat up there unless you’re in the band.

You’re suddenly become aware that the longer you view that shadow, the weirder it’ll look for the guests. Your curiosity can really take you the far places, but often times, you need to be anchored before flying too far to the sun.

Speaking of which, the bright, shining light directly hits on the aforementioned shadow. Almost like a prayer, it heard you so it gave what you pleaded.

And man, you’re stunned by what unraveled before you.

His brown hair is styled upwards with a few strands in front of his forehead. The sleeves of his black dress shirt were folded to his elbows, while his black trousers have minor creases on the bottom hems. His eyebags darkened, showing lack of sleep on his end. However, his orbs greet yours with warmth. A reconnection, as you find it difficult to stray away. Dimples pop out as he smiles your way, fluttering your heart like a young teenager.

Why was it so familiar to you?

But there’s no way this was real, right? Have you started building delusions in your head as a coping mechanism to your upcoming lifelong misery?

You blink and shake your head for reassurance, but as you reopen your eyes, he was gone like magic. Yet his silhouette lingers through your mind. Alongside that, the ending words of the homily seeped through with a vengeance.

Or rather, redemption.

Because for some reason, the silhouette urged your mind to remember Jaehyun.

“The utmost beauty of these souls is how neither of them were looking when they found each other.” Insert the moment when Jaehyun emerges to the Bible study room for the first time 3 years ago. With a sinister grin and stance, he managed to lock strong eye contact on you as you were passing out Bibles to the other kids. How unshaken you were, yet so entranced by him.

“From meeting, in comes the unconditional love they’ll build.” The innocent memories of your relationship with Jaehyun when you started seeing each other romantically dance around your brain.

“In that love, they put effort everyday through the small things.” You’ve always liked white roses, while Jaehyun fancied sweet potato chips. Every getaway you both had, you’ve gifted each other with those items.

“In that love, it’s impenetrable to conquer every battle and fight that stampedes there.” If not your last encounter, there was one time you may have succeeded here. You recall defending Jaehyun from your parents at home when he put you trouble and “trouble” after Bible study. How even if he’s the so-called enemy, he’s a good person relearning what’s right from wrong. How he is not his family.

“And in that same love, it makes them feel at home.” Cue all the imaginative, future plans you and Jaehyun drunkenly made if your love story wasn’t an impossible tale. How you’d leave it up to the multiverse, you both giggled.

“So my brothers and sisters, in every story, these two souls here,” The priest naively refers to you and Doyoung. “It’s not a coincidence. The Lord knew what he was doing. He didn’t create a perfect love, but a love only the bride and groom would ever know and feel. Yet it’s a love He created in His likeness and image because He loves His children, and only bless them with eternal happiness with each other.”

In your parents’ eyes, they saw your future with Doyoung.

In your eyes, the future was set with Jaehyun. Wherever you are, all you can think of in every word the priest spoke.

And that future with him is ever so clear and beautiful…

Holy shit.

This wedding must not push through.

“Kim Doyoung and Lee (Y/N) have invited us to share in this celebration as they affirm their love before us, pledge their faith to one another and enter into the joys and privileges of marriage.” So caught up in your reverie, you’re back to standing up and facing Doyoung. The recitation of vows approaches. “If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two persons may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Stillness, much to your parents and Doyoung’s delight.

But now, you could care less about what others think. This needs to stop.

This is your life, and you’re reclaiming it as yours.

You need to run far, far away and find him.

Your real love, Jeong Jaehyun.

And to that, you pray within yourself:

“Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby. I'll be usin' for the rest of my life.”

“I can’t do this.” You object boldly, stepping back. “I can’t marry you, Doyoung.”

The audience behind you gasps, the priest and Doyoung especially. “What do you mean, (Y/N)?”

You felt so apologetic for his confusion. “You deserve someone who truly loves you without judgment.”

Your eyes peek over his shoulder to find a woman beside his younger brother Jungwoo quivers at the entire scene. The same woman whom you’ve found out was his first and only love, if not for you asking about her during your first encounter. Yet never did he act on his affections due to the standards of his family, and being the best friend of his brother. He feared of the consequences, but this is no time for fear.

It's time for action. If you’re going to make your move, so should he.

“Fight for your true love. Don’t make them take it away from you.” Your eyes linger momentarily on Doyoung’s real love. “Don’t let them take her away from you, and choose the life where you can be unapologetically and incandescently happy, Doyoung.”

No more words can Doyoung utter towards your plea, but instead lets his daring actions communicate back to you. It was the way his arms looped around her waist, hugging her for dear life. And how she gasped loudly the entire church can hear as she returned his empowering gesture, lacing her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, Sejeong.” Doyoung whispers a little too loudly. “It’s you. It’s always been you, and will forever be you I love.”

Not a breath wasted, these two lovers rapidly make their exit through an emergency door of the church. Doyoung utters nothing more to his parents, but expresses disgust and anger at how he glares at them. I’m done with your shit, his eyes read. Oh, how his dear mother cries out for him to come back while his father holds her back. Jungwoo, on the other hand, claps at his brother’s impressive move. He didn’t even bother listening to his father who ordered him to chase after him.

“They’ve always been in love with each other. Who are you to tell me to stop them?”

Meanwhile, time is ticking for you. You’ve had your run at playing matchmaker, now you need to return to your lover. One you can hope will take you back after your cowardice pushed him back to the pits of hell, while you crawled back to your seat in heaven. Although tainted you are, nothing but a few prayers and consistent good deeds will gain favor from Him again.

And so you ran. Heels of your heels click clack the marble aisle as you remove your gloves. Your freed fingers grasp on the fabric on your gown to move arther and farther away from the altar. Guests are even more bewildered by your actions, never expecting you to turn out this way.

“Lee (Y/N)!” Only the frantic voice of your mother halts you. Call it a natural reaction when you’ve grown up under her care, her ever so manipulative and overprotective care.

You huff, turning around. “What is it, mother?”

Only a few meters away from you, her hand hurtfully grips your arm. “Ow!”

“You disgust me.” She spits. “How dare you embarrass our family like this?! Have you no conscience?! Why are you acting like a child?!”

You scoff, annoyed. “I think I should be asking you the questions.”

“Excuse me?!”

You yank your arm away from her sharp fingers. Your posture stands a little taller, which is your way to signify confidence. Bravery from her threats.

“All my life, you dictated my every move. You constructed me into this good, religious good girl image so others can stray away from the corruption of our family businesses. You banned me to make my own choices and live my own life because you solely believe that your and father’s choices are the best ones. You taught me misleading ideals and beliefs, urging me to hate others who don’t resonate with me and abandon those who are lower than me. And now, you attempted to sell my freedom for the price of overflowing greed.”

You blurt out every ounce of pain you’ve gained all your life, finally relieving yourself of the burden. If only you could see the proud expressions your older brothers sport from afar, while your younger brothers can admire your courage. You’re finally taking a stand so neither of them would face a situation like this.

“You are lying!” Your mother tries to fight back, even if her lips quiver. Never would she think her only daughter could turn out like this. “That’s a sin, young lady.”

“But nothing as worse as greed, mom. One of the seven deadly sins, like you once taught me.” You smirk.

“Do not dare talk back to your mother!” Your father joins the heated scene. “What happened to you, (Y/N)? How did you turn out like this?”

You laugh, placing a hand on your chest to hold yourself back. “Your sheltered, devious way of parenting me and my brothers led me here. So much for saying we’re a self-proclaimed “God-centered” family when we are far from th--”

Your outburst is dramatically cut off with a stinging slap from your mother. Your legs give out from the impact as your butt lands flat on the marble. The crowd is in a disarray from the sudden commotion, full from all this information. Information that’ll give every journalist and gossip meals for months.

Meanwhile, all your brothers race to your aid. This has gone too far.

“You’re no longer my daughter, but the daughter of Satan himself.” Your mother rages while your palm covers your reddening cheek. You can only yourself back because physical violence shouldn’t be responded with the same thing. And being Satan’s daughter? So be it. It’s better than being the offspring of your parents.

“If not Doyoung, us, or your brothers, who would ever love and accept your lost, pitiful soul?”

“I would.”

A deep voice sends shivers to your figure. Almost like he’s enraged, you swivel your head to the source like everyone else.

It was none other than the silhouette from earlier, emerging from the darkness of the aisle. Except now, he was no regular silhouette. It embodies more sharpness and tidiness, like prestige and power exalts his bones. Almost like a complete redo.

Speaking of which, what your eyes laid upon prior wasn’t a hallucination. The more light from the church and the sun combined shines through, you managed to piece their appearance.

And how stupid you feel not to have pointed it out. The voice alone should’ve knocked some sense of you, because it was none other than--

“Jaehyun.”

The mentioned man continues to strut out, gradually exposing and making himself known to everyone present today. And it’s without a doubt that the gossip from this event alone can feed a whole country, especially with your father seething from his stance.

“Why is there a Jeong in this immaculate event?” He blames. “Have you not learned from your probation and dare barge in my daughter’s wedding?”

“What wedding, sir?” Jaehyun smirks sinisterly, slowly approaching your feeble figure. “It’s more like I witnessed physical and verbal assault against your daughter. In fact, everyone did. Including the Lord himself.”

“I oughtta-” Your father prepares his fist to meet Jaehyun’s face, if not Taeyong’s swift hand catching it.

“Not today, father. And never.” He throws a death glare at his predecessor.

Simultaneously, Jaehyun’s hands reach out for yours. You wobble for a bit when you get up, but you find your balance. His rage and frustration soften into concern at your overwhelmed state, lifting the veil over your head to cradle your weary face.

“Are you okay, my love?” His palm soothes your aching cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t save you on time.”

“You--” You start to choke on your words. “You’re here. You came back for me.”

“Of course, I did.” He grins genuinely. “I should’ve never left you like that back then. Not when we needed each other the most.”

Before proper words can leave your scattered mind, your father screams like he witnessed a bloody murder.

“What is the meaning of this?! There’s no way this is the man you love, (Y/N)!” He screams, while your mother faints at the sight.

“Surprise, father.” You smile with mischief. “I fell in love with the so-called enemy, and I shall spend the rest of life eternally with him.”

“I object this union!”

“I don’t fucking care.” You curse without remorse. Sparing a loving glance at your man after, “Fuck you, mother, and everything else in this feud. I am done.”

Angrily, your father nearly charges in front of you and Jaehyun. But you’re spared in a flash if not for Taeyong and Mark pulling him back. Jeno and Haechan, on the other hand, hold on to her before she loses her consciousness again. And also avoid her from hurting you.

Ten calls out both your names from the side. Suddenly, a pair of car keys are thrown at your direction. Jaehyun catches them instantly.

“Save your sweet yet vengeful reunion someplace else and run! Now!”

You’ve completely forgotten how public this wedding was as every person spectate how you take hold of Jaehyun’s hand, leading you to a more private exit of the church. Taking the main doors will spark a frenzy by the paparazzi, and that’s the last thing you need on your agenda.

Now in the parking lot in the back, Jaehyun’s fingers from his free hand click the buttons of Ten’s car keys, One of the cars activates in perfect condition, lights flicking and beeping sonorously. And thank God, it’s right in front of you.

“Motherfucker, it’s a Ferrari.” Jaehyun marvels.

“Jaehyun, we gotta go!” You rush inside the shotgun, conscious of who may find the both of you.

It’s not a surprise that the journalists got ahold of your speeding departure since you have to drive out in front of the church to get away from it. Even if Ten’s windows were tinted so no one can detect who was inside, the guests finally vacated from the building and told their own versions of what unfolded in the supposed Kim-Lee union.

And while the news are brewing and buzzing, you and Jaehyun have absolutely no idea where to drive off to.

“That was insane!” You burst out. The adrenaline rush of it all still raced your veins, while Jaehyun’s attention is firm at the road ahead of him. “I never felt or done anything like this!”

He chuckles as his fingers retract to your hand again, lifting it to kiss the top. “You’ve turned into a bad girl, baby. What are we gonna do about that?”

“Would living a new, happier life for ourselves be the best way to avenge everything they’ve done to us?” You suggest. “I know we’ve been through a lot, but I was no better for letting you walk out like that without a proper fight for our love.”

Jaehyun sighs from the painful memory. “And I understood why you did. I had no right to pressure you into something so drastic when your family has already stressed you out enough.”

“But still!” You acclaim. “You’ve always fought for us, so I should’ve done the same before all of this happened.”

“So, you must truly love me.” Jaehyun attempts to lighten up the mood. Reaching a red light, he tilts his body to face you. Even after being chased down, he remains ever ethereal as beads of sweat rest on his brows and his once-perfectly done hair is crazily tousled.

“If I didn’t, I would’ve never caused a scene especially with God watching us.” You lean a little closer to him, resting both of your hands on his shoulders. If not for the car handle blocking you, you’d be sitting on his lap. “Because He sent you to me as a blessing. Not a curse from the devil, but a blessing who taught me to be brave and never take anyone’s shit.”

“Cursing like this still feels so new to me, baby.” The glimmer in his eyes darken with desire, moving closer to your lips.

“Better get used to it, sweetheart.” Merely inches left, your lips teasingly brush his. “It’s you and me until the end of the time.”

The confidence of your tone was met with the element of surprise when Jaehyun’s lips finally planted on yours. Your sultry yet romantic-filled words put all his senses of haywire, as if you bewitched him with your everlasting charms. Your lips curve into a smile as they part so his tongue can slide in. The taste of his favorite mint candy mellow your nerves down, easing you back to a calmer state of mind.

How you missed his touch.

How you missed his presence.

How you missed him, and everything that goes along with it.

As passionate as your affections are at the moment, it’s only to be interrupted by the loud, irritated honks from the vehicles behind you.

The red light has now turned green.

The two of you can only laugh in embarrassment, like two horny teenagers caught by their headmasters. Yet the youthful energy you both radiate remains. Jaehyun holds your hand again before stepping on the engine, rubbing the sides of your thumb.

“Oh, baby. I’d be more than glad to be sinfully vowed to you.”

5 YEARS LATER.

Jeong Estates and Co. secured the highest rank of top real estate companies within Seoul.

This wouldn’t be made possible if not for Krystal Jeong, second in line at the Jeong family business. One of the Jeong cousins rather. No bitter feelings she felt on getting the job. In fact, she’s more than ecstatic to acclaim the highest position in their clan. As for Sungchan, he just entered law school in high hopes of taking over his mother’s law firm. But only years after taking the bar exam then starting for the bottom up. Often times, he secretly gives his older brother a call on his burner phone or vice versa. No matter what, they are still brothers. Heck, highly urged him to chase after you when he found out the truth behind his older brother’s love for you.

Lee Properties, the real estate company of Lee Corporation, are more focused on expanding their branches across the world. Ranking no longer mattered, as long as the quality of their work constantly. Mark, under the guidance of Taeyong and Ten in the beginning, took over the company. Thanks to the three, they branched out to the US, UK, and Japan. Family-wise, the 5 brothers isolated themselves from their parents since that day. Everything has become business for them. Because they refuse to be associated with people responsible for the almost-downfall of their only sister.

The general feud between families remain unsolved, even after the mayhem of the failed wedding. Although there have been are rumors circulating that the brothers of each family made amends, but nothing has been confirmed. The tension intensified, and no dares to get in their loop.

People who work in media make sure to never put them in the same room for interviews or events. People working in their companies dare not to speak of the enemy company. Anyone who’s within the presence of any family member can only bow their head and pray they don’t get called out.

Most of all, everyone goes silent of the forbidden romance built between their each of their children.

That’s the thing with the Lees and Jeongs: they’re old-money royalty with filthy history. If you get in their way, might as well say goodbye to everything you worked hard for.

That’s how powerful they are.

Yet only two people defied all the odds.

Speaking of them, where do you and Jaehyun stand?

“I’m home!” Jaehyun greets loudly as he opens the door. He drops off his satchel of tools by the doorstep, removing his dirty loafers and switching to house slippers.

“In the kitchen!” You respond. Just in time for dinner, you love how prompt he is.

From behind, warm yet sweaty arms wrap around your waist. He must’ve had a long day, especially when he was gone the moment you woke up. But it’s not much of a worry since you also had a early start that day.

“Smells good here.” Jaehyun’s chin tucks on your shoulder. “What are we having tonight?”

“Homemade ravioli as a gift from Francesca next door,” You continue stirring the aromatic pan. “With tomato sauce made by me.”

“Delicious.” He sniffs. “I missed you.”

You giggle from his short kiss on your cheek. “I missed you too, but you reek off sweat.”

“When am I not?” He teases. “Gotta earn to maintain this roof on top of our heads.”

“Keep that habit up, or someone else here might make me vomit like last time.” Your free hand lowers his hands to the bump of your swelling stomach. Perhaps only now did you believe that there is one when it used to be slightly flatter.

“Speaking of which,” He rubs it gently. “How’s she today? No trouble?”

“Thankfully, no.” You turn the stove off, satisfied with the finished dish. Turning around, your hands situate themselves on your lower back. A new habit since your body has been adjusting to all these new changes. “I’m confident the nausea is subsiding, but now my feet hurt like crazy.”

“My love,” Jaehyun coos, caging you in his arms. “How about I take a quick shower, enjoy this meal you made, then give you a foot massage?”

“Oh yes, that sounds divine.” You hum, pecking his lips. “Now get off me. You seriously stink as fuck.”

So much for your mood swings, Jaehyun chuckles as he makes his way to the bathroom of your master bedroom. You roll your eyes st the playful man while you prepare the dining table. Yet you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Life ever since that crazy day became more peaceful and joyful. Freeing to retake the control you have over your life, whilst sharing it with the man you truly love.

For a couple of months, you and Jaehyun resided in a private cottage somewhere deep in Jeju Island. Only he knew of its existence because he himself built it from the ground up. Formerly in the real estate, he’s always had an interest for architecture. But instead of picking that major in college (because his parents were against it), he studied elsewhere with his own money. It clearly paid off as it gave the two of you the perfect hideaway from all the drama.

And led the most memorable of nights in your shared bedroom, especially you finally confessed your deepest desire of him fully taking your purity away. Sure, virginity is a social construct but you trusted Jaehyun with your life. After everything you’ve been through together, how can you not?

One kiss is all it took before he had you squirming and moaning on his cock, thrusting and hitting your sweet spots. His words of praise in every movement led you one step closer to heave. You see, heaven wasn’t just a place you go to when you die in good spirits. But it can be through a person.

And his name was Jeong Jaehyun.

Physically, your body turned sore the following day. But emotionally, you’re thrilled. He took good care of you like the passionate lover he is, but that’s bare minimum. We shouldn’t celebrate those things, though there’s something unique about it when Jaehyun carrying you to a warm tub and feeding you your favorite homemade meals that very day. To make up for hitting it too hard, he egotistically claims.

But can you blame him?

Exactly.

Later on, the two of you permanently migrated to the countryside area of Italy. Having loved the quiet side of Jeju Island whilst craving a new adventure, Europe took an interest to the both of you. Italy became your top choice if not for having individual traveling experiences there. And how you equally enjoyed its culture and aura.

Thus, you wanted to create more memories together and start anew. And by that, you and him rented an apartment within Tuscany and worked different jobs from your university majors.

From being a business management major, you became an English teacher at the local elementary school. You enjoyed taking care of children, teaching them all new things and encouraging them to be their best selves. There are also times you walk some of them home if their parents cannot fetch them. Holding your hand so they avoid any cars passing by, your heart is full when they obey and tell you all sorts of imaginative tales. You adore their curiosity, and you always make sure to be the best role model you can be.

From majoring in finance, Jaehyun ventured into construction and architecture. He was always hands on, conceptualizing and building all sorts of things for other people’s needs. It’s a plus that he’s always followed an active lifestyle, his muscles making it easier to bring those things to different destinations. The big boss of the business he works for can rely him on him big time, saving money on gas for the moving truck. So it’s no surprises girls attempt to throw themselves at him for his looks and strength. But it’s nothing you worry about.

Because at the end of the day, it’s still you he comes home to you. And makes you come until all the stars of the universe are within your periphery.

With all the money you both earn (and pawning your unnecessary designer items), it eventually becomes enough for two things: building a new house and your wedding.

There’s a piece of land Jaehyun’s boss gifted him as gratitude for expanding his business, which is near one of his beloved vineyards. Since that day, Jaehyun devoted time and effort to build your dream home. With some help with friends he made from work.

It meant sacrificing alone time with him, which did strike an argument or two. But it’s nothing too big you couldn’t resolve. Because you’re both sure that his efforts are going to be worth it.

And how beautiful the final output was. Modern with a rustic feel, there were 3 floors to your entire home. With a patio, there’s also a garden of various flowers and crops you and Jaehyun planted during the construction process. And now, they’re finally coming in full bloom this time around. After that, you can see the various vineyards which trails to the best view of the sunset.

Quite the villa, you two have. It has everyone in town wanting to take a visit whenever they can and how inviting you’d be to all of them for special occasions.

Upon tradition, the whole home was blessed by the priest before you fully moved in. And boy, nothing could hold you back from running through every furnished floor, only to hold and kiss your man for a job well done. But the mood became heated as his hands cup your butt and lifted you up as he lead you to your master bedroom.

Your wedding came shortly after. It was held at a small chapel within Tuscany, with locals you’ve befriended over time, your brothers, and Sungchan.

Yes, they accepted your private invitations and made sure not to disclose this event to anyone back home. Most especially, both of your parents.

You and Jaehyun feared your brothers wouldn’t get along the slightest. Initially, there was tension when you invited them to dinner at your new home. Mark, Haechan, and Ten inspected with Sungchan with suspicion, while the younger boy returns the judgmental loo. Jeno and Taeyong, on the other hand, fell silent as they didn’t want to utter a word at him.

Accepting Jaehyun took a while, so what more with Sungchan? He was outnumbered by your 5 prideful brothers, and based on the tales of your then fiancé, he was a good boy.

“Yah.” It was your sharp voice that cuts the tense air, which was a new experience for everyone. In fact, they’re all getting used to your newfound voice that’ll slice and dice anyone that disrespects you. “If you are all going to act like children, we’ll turn out m like our parents and those before. We’ll never end our feud, and hurt more people we love.”

“Whatever problems you have with each other, sort that shit out right now. Or we can kick you out, where the nearest motel is 4 hours away.”

So yes, you may have threatened them. But it does spark change within both families, especially when Jeno opened up about his interest for the law firm under Lee Corporation. He was in 2nd year of law school that time.

Instead of thinking as competition, Sungchan started up about his life as a freshman because it turns out that they’re studying in same school. Eventually, Mark and Taeyong came around to talk about their hobbies. And as for Haechan and Ten, they were responsible for filling up everyone’s wine glasses until everyone passed out in the living room.

You’re merely lucky how the wedding was still a week and a half away. But mostly, new friendships were made and you’re certain this will cause a major shift in the feud.

And finally, as you and Jaehyun said “I do” and sealed a kiss in front of your loved ones, off to your honeymoon you go. Funded by Taeyong and Ten (which you failed to reject out of embarrassment), you and Jaehyun went to your favorite Italian city: Milan. The both of you spent all the cash they gave to your heart’s content after putting them into your home and wedding, exploring the designer stores and shops of the locals.

With the former, it made you reminisce your younger self. The one who was so naïve to everything while she threw the money from mommy and daddy’s credit cards on bags and clothes. But now, designer items are just items with an esteemed name. Their worth is nothing compared to the culture of the locals back in Tuscany, and the love you continue to grow with Jaehyun.

It’s no wonder that over time, that same love eventually created something magical.

And it came in the form of your unborn child that you fiercely carry. It’s only like yesterday when you and Jaehyun anticipated in your bedroom for the tests you took. This came to be after your period not arriving, the weird food combinations you consume, and your mood swings being out of this world. Or that’s at least what Jaehyun shared, but he can be quite overdramatic at times.

As we return to the present time, you caress your hard tummy that holds so much life. How you feel the smallest flutter of your daughter as she continues to grow or the first time you heard her heart beat in the monitor. It still makes your heart soar when the doctor confirmed the gender of your baby. In a world of boys, another girl just like you made you feel complete. With Jaehyun, he’d have a little girl he can take to all sorts of adventures and dance around with.

Heck, he already made the crib from scratch from his excitement and cleared out one of your guest rooms for the baby. If that doesn’t soften your heart, you didn’t know what will. He’s always had a fondness for kids, especially with your profession. And now, the both of you shall have your own to take care and love.

5 months down, 4 more to go.

You lay on your back on the couch, resting your head by the edge. Your fingers skim through an open book as Jaehyun’s hands work their magic to relieve the constant ache of your feet.

“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them...” You read aloud the text of your precious novel. The baby enjoyed being read to, whether it be from your or Jaehyun. Meanwhile, the mentioned man listens along as it is one of his childhood favorites. “Happiness doesn’t lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our ey-”

A strong set of kicks to your gut interrupts your reading, a loud groan leaving your lips. Jaehyun’s alert to help you out, clutching on your stomach as you try to sit upright.

“What happened?” Jaehyun chides. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“She…” Your eyes begin to well up. “She’s kicking for the first time.”

The baby wildly makes her presence known as she remains persistent in her actions. Stunned, your hands find Jaehyun’s and place them on your stomach. This has never happened to either you, and both of you wanted to treasure the moment.

Your husband keeps quiet upon his amazement in feeling his small feet of his baby girl. He smiles, changing his hand positions to find her in your womb. It’s almost like you’re raising 2 kids.

“That tickles, Jae!” You squeal, readjusting your stance. Back pain is becoming a bitch lately.

“Does it hurt?” His hands stay put in one spot near your belly button, where your daughter enjoyed to play around the most.

You give a tight-lipped smile. “Not really, but now it’s a bit bothersome.”

“Oh no…” He says with worry, head leaning near your tummy to speak to your daughter. “Baby, don’t hurt your mommy. She makes sure you’re strong and well, so be nice, okay?”

You gush from his words. Your mind is elated to create future scenarios of their father-daughter bonding, something you wish you had more of when you were younger. But you know your husband, the family guy he’s become. Because you both made an oath to never become your parents, to be better and wiser.

Finally, the kicks weakened and felt your daughter rest on one corner of your tummy. By this time, she’s fallen asleep. And by her actions, it exhausted you as well as her unofficial punching bag. Jaehyun, who was bound to resume his massaging, catches you yawn and stretch your arms out.

“Tired?” He asks, and you nod.

“I think I’ll continue reading the book tomorrow.” You close your beloved copy of the Little Prince, and pull your feet off from your husband’s lap.

“Wait.” He stops you, standing up before you do.

You quirk a brow. “Yes, babe?”

“There’s no way you’re walking up the stairs with sore feet.” Suddenly, he lifts you off the couch as he carries you bridal style. You shriek with shock, but not loud enough to disturb your baby.

“Jaehyun! Put me down!” He shakes his head. “Am I not heavy? I’m carrying your child after all.”

“Nothing will be heavy enough when it comes to you and our baby.” He reassures. “Now, let’s get both of you to bed, hmm?”

Refusing his advances would be an endless fight, so you concede the moment you nuzzle your head on his chest. Fresh laundry, his scent fills your nostrils. You loved the warmth when he’s close to you like this, nearly dozing off when he walks up the stairs. He was your home, and you don’t ever want to leave him.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, is enamored by you each passing day. He witnessed all your good and bad times, the latter especially as they eventually led to the better days of your shared life. He didn’t want to admit how afraid he was when you two eloped from everyone, but you’ve always known. He didn’t have to tell you because you put in your own efforts to make him feel at bay. That it’s okay to feel vulnerable, that it’s okay to take risks. Because you were both in this together, that’s in the vows you unofficially said back in Jeju Island and reiterated in your actual wedding.

Another thing Jaehyun loved about you was this endless glow when you’re passionate about your job at the school, stand up for yourself, and express true joy from the small, finer things in life. But there came a unique kind glow you embodied since you told him the news of your pregnancy.

It was a major step in any loving relationship, and if there’s anyone he’d experience it with, he’s blessed that it’s with you. Like he once said when you were younger, you are God’s favorite angel.

When he gently lays you down on your side of the bed, catching how your eyelids effortlessly fell down, he kisses your forehead. “Good night, angel.”

As he rests on the opposite side, your hand finds his chest.

“Jae.”

Surprised, he moves to face your side. Your lids may be droopy, but you had extra strength to carress his cheek with the same hand. Under the moonlight from your balcony doors, he looked effortlessly beautiful. Even with some greying hairs on his nape, wrinkles forming in his forehead, and eyebags darkening from his restless nights, your heart is full of love for him. Whether it’s from your hormones acting up or not, that’s never going to change.

He's a representation of your bravery, and how glad you are to take on the challenge to push for your love.

Because in the end, it all worked out like you both wanted.

“Hmm, baby?” His hand cup yours.

“Thank you for not giving up on me.” You place his other hand on your tummy again. “On us.”

“Thank you for fighting for our love, for showing those who doubted us that it has a place in our world.” Jaehyun shares an endearing smile, paving a way for his remarkable dimples. Some things don’t age, like your youthful souls. Ever so daring and adventurous, parenthood doesn’t sound like such a bad idea if it’s two of you embarking on it together.

“Even if it almost earned a punch from my dad?” The once-frightening memory earns a chuckle from both your lips. Little did your younger selves know what they’d face after.

“What can I say? I meant every word I say then, to be put in his place.” He defends. “And you know what else I meant that day?”

“Enlighten me.”

Oh, you can only feel real happiness and gratitude for the man in front of you. He is a man of his word, and proved endlessly with his actions. And he shall continue to do so for the rest of your lives.

“I’d be more than glad to be sinfully vowed to you, (Y/N). Forever and always.”

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 1 year

Text

Have You No Idea That You’re In Deep? [Chapter 4: Under The Heart Tree]

Aemond is a fearless, enigmatic prince and the most renowned dragonrider of the Greens. You are a daughter of House Mormont and a lady-in-waiting to Princess Helaena. You can’t ignore each other, even though you probably should. In fact, you might have found a love worth killing for.

A/N: I wanted to take a moment to give a heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who has fallen in love with this series!!! I read (and go back to reread) every single comment, reblog, tag, and message I receive, and they mean the absolute world to me. I truly don’t have words to express how appreciative I am of you all. With the end of Chapter 4, this series is officially halfway over; there will be 8 chapters total. I hope you continue to enjoy it. 💜

Song inspiration: “Do I Wanna Know?” by Arctic Monkeys.

Chapter warnings: Language, witchcraft, a wild Aegon appears, drama, pregnancy, a tiny bit of sexual content, mentions of death and violence (per usual), cryptic Helaena prophesies, Sir Criston being a supportive stepdad, found family feels, one (1) still jealous boi, more drama, lots of shouting, this fic is for readers 18+!!!

Word count: 6.5k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

Taglist: @crispmarshmallow @tclegane @daddysfavoritesexkitten @poohxlove @imagine-all-the-imagines @nsainmoonchild @skythighs @bratfleck @thesadvampire @yor72 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @mochimommy2002 @loverandqueenofdragons @omgsuperstarg @endless-ineffabilities @devynsshitposts @vencuyot @ladylannisterxo @ariesbabycitlaly @itzwhatever123 @cranberryjulce @abcdefghi-lmnopqrstuvwxyz @liathelioness @mirandastuckinthe80s @haezen @fairaardirascenarios @penteknati @darkened-writer @weepingfashionwritingplaid @signyvenetia @abrielleholland @crossingallmine @burningcoffeetimetravel @itzwhatever123 @yummycastiel @lol-im-done @lovemissyhoneybee @nomugglesallowed @witchmoon @yoshiplushie @404slayer404 @sunafterthethunder @torchbearerkyle @sweetashoneyhoney @quartzs-posts @lauraneedstochill @nctma15 @queenofshinigamis @rapoficeandfire @hinata7346 @curiouser-an-curiouser @eleganttravelercloud

💜 Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! (Also I’m sincerely sorry if Tumblr refuses to tag you!!!) 💜

“What do you need?” Aemond asks—his voice tender, the back of his hand testing the heat of your cheeks—and you tell him. He gathers everything: foxglove, sorrel, mint leaves, sticks of cinnamon, snakeskin, bloodstone, clear quartz, a blue candle, black tar rum, blood from a living bull. He does this swiftly and without any hesitation. He knows that only you have the power necessary for a cure.

In the dead of night, the prince half-carries you to the heart tree in the godswood of the Red Keep. You try to grind the dry ingredients into dust with the mortar and pestle, but your hands are weak and trembling. Aemond takes the tools from you and finishes himself. He sets the candle on a gnarled, ancient root and sparks it to life with the dagger and flint your mother gave you before you left Bear Island. Then he pours the dust into a pitcher and slowly mixes in the rum and the bull’s blood. The candlelight dances on his face: shadow, light, shadow again. All the while, here where the Old Gods can hear you, you chant this over and over: “Mend the bones, fill the veins, stitch the flesh until it’s whole again.”

Aemond grimaces as he stirs the contents of the pitcher with the dagger blade. “You don’t have to drink this or paint it on your bedroom walls or something, do you?”

You smirk wanly. “Not quite.” And that’s fortunate, because you haven’t been able to drink anything in days.

Back in the Red Keep, the servants to fill your bathtub with water so hot it clouds the room with steam. Once they’re gone, Aemond helps you into the tub and then adds the pitcher’s crimson brew. You steep in a shimmering, blood-red sea and feel the sickness sweat out of you: the nausea, the tremors, the pain, the repulsive bone-deep weakness. Aemond perches on the rim of the tub and braids your hair to keep it tucked neatly away, singing softly in High Valyrian, words you haven’t learned yet.

“I don’t deserve you,” you murmur in the dreamlike haze of blood and heat and relief, nearly asleep. Your cramped muscles have unraveled like loose threads. The anxious, scratching demons that live in your skull are blessedly chained at the moment.

“You do,” he replies. When he leans down to kiss the crown of your head, you can hear the smile in his voice. “You always will.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Sleep recedes from you like a waning crescent moon. Sounds of the morning breathe in through the open windows: birdsong, faraway voices, clops of horse hooves, wind in the leaves. You stretch, tentatively measuring the strength of your body; there is no aching, no fragility, no absence of strength like smothered embers. Your spell worked. You are cured. The triumph swells through you, a dazzling sort of fever. And then when you open your eyes, you see him.

You yelp like a startled animal. “What—?!”

“Good morning,” Aegon says brightly. He’s cross-legged on top of your writing desk and brandishing a cup of wine in his right hand.

You sit upright with a groan. “You need to stop doing this.”

“I have things to say that you should hear.”

“What?” you reply crossly.

Aegon sips his wine. “My mother has formally invited Borros Baratheon and his daughters to court. She did it a while ago, actually, but she’s been keeping it quiet. She didn’t want to give Aemond too much time to brood, I think. They are arriving in one week. There is going to be a feast. Lots of dancing, lots of diplomacy, and—my personal favorite—lots of drinking.” He raises his cup in a mock toast.

“Fantastic,” you say flatly.

“The thing is, Jason Lannister heard about this little development all the way out in Casterly Rock, so now he’s sending his daughters to court too. And so are the Arryns, and the Starks, and the Tullys and Tyrells, and Greyjoys too, if they can find anyone who counts as a lady. Maybe even the Westerlings and Swyfts and Swanns, you know…just in case they can pull an upset.” He takes another swig of wine. “It’ll be just like a horse market, except that all the horses walk on two legs and wear dresses.”

“One week…” Everything in you sinks. I knew this was coming, of course I did…but does it have to happen so fucking soon? Then again, maybe any time would feel too soon, months or years or decades. Maybe eternity with Aemond wouldn’t be long enough.

“No matter which horse wins, the result will be the same,” Aegon continues. “An engagement will be announced and my brother will soon wed in the Great Hall and set about the glorious task of producing heirs.”

“Okay. What do you want me to do about it?”

“I thought you might benefit from having the opportunity to prepare yourself. To devise an exit strategy. To…” He considers this next word carefully. “Cope.”

“Oh,” you realize, staring at him. You’ve never been able to get a handle on Aegon Targaryen. He’s not attentive to Helaena—she gets companionship from Aemond, from Alicent, from Otto, from you, but not from her husband—yet to your knowledge he’s never been cruel to her either. He does not ridicule her many peculiarities. He does not criticize her. On the rare occasion that he shares her bed, you overhear no sounds of mistreatment, no weeping or shouting or coercion. Aegon never leaves marks of violence on his wife, which is more than you can say for your own father. He neglects his duties, but he does not rebel against them. He’s done horrible things, surely, blatantly; and yet somehow he does not strike you as a particularly horrible person. “You’re not here to torment me. You’re trying to be helpful.”

Aegon smiles, but there’s very little humor in it. “You can keep that to yourself. No one would believe you anyway.”

He hops down to the floor, guzzles the last of his wine, and leaves the empty cup on your dresser before vanishing through the doorway like a ghost.

~~~~~~~~~~

The gardens are buzzing with bees and gossip. You sit in the midst of a stiflingly mundane tea party and try to remain present enough to smile and nod at the correct moments. You wring your pendent—moonstone gem, silver chain—as Helaena eats lemon cakes beside you, humming contently. She is technically the host of this gathering. It’s meant as a welcome to the noblewomen who have already begun to arrive at court, an opportunity for them to mingle and sample the luxuries of King’s Landing and prove themselves as future wives and mothers. So far, all they’ve proven themselves as is vapid and shallow and frustrating; although perhaps you only feel that way because one of them might be destined to marry the man you love. Aemond hasn’t mentioned the feast to you yet. He never mentions anything related to his impending marriage to some other woman. You’re afraid to bring it up. You’re afraid to break the euphoria you’ve been living in with him like a spell.

As your attention wanders, you notice a spot of blood on the sleeve of your dress. Before the tea party, you and Helaena had been watching Aemond and Sir Criston spar in the courtyard. That particular exchange had been bloodless, but then Ivar Kellington had broken the nose of some hulking Arryn man deluded enough to challenge him. The droplets had sprayed into the crowd like burgundy rain. The match lasted about twelve seconds.

Look at me, having some illustrious gilded blood after all. Ha ha ha.

Across the table, several noblewomen have veered into a covert discussion of one of King’s Landing’s greatest scandals: the indiscretions of Prince Aegon. You can’t catch every word, but you can catch enough of them. Which means Helaena can too.

“A handmaiden…that’s what I heard…yes, I know…what an embarrassment…well you can’t give them all moon tea, now can you?”

You glare at them—a Tyrell girl, you observe now, and a Lannister and a Tully—but they continue their prattling. Helaena rises from her chair and hurries off into the foliage with tears sparkling in her eyes.

“Hey,” you begin, but still the ladies take no notice.

“Little blond children all over the city…more brothels than you could…and the fighting pits…”

“Hey,” you say again, leaning over the table. Now they look at you. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Excuse me?!” cries the Tyrell.

“How dare you!” says the Lannister.

The Tully blubbers: “It’s not like she understands anyway—”

“She does understand.” Your voice is fierce and black and low. “She understands everything. She is your future queen and you’ve upset her with your stupidity. She’s too kind to tell you that to your faces, to make you pay for it. Her kindness is chronic and all-consuming. But I suffer from no such affliction.”

“You seem to suddenly think very highly of your station,” the Tyrell notes. “I wonder what has instilled such confidence in you, Lady Mormont.”

“Yes,” says the Lannister. “Has your family recently acquired some new lands…or titles…or armies…or anything?’

“No.” The Tyrell grins viciously. “They still just have poor little Bear Island. I wouldn’t even be able to find it on a map.”

“Perhaps that isn’t something to brag about,” you say, and storm away from the tea party before she can puzzle out what you mean. You can feel their narrowed eyes following you, cold and conspiratorial.

You find Helaena by a towering butterfly bush. Winged insects in a hundred different colors swoop around her like snowflakes. Silent tears stream down her ruddy face.

“Helaena…” You move to comfort her, then think better of it. She can be very particular about being touched. “I’m so sorry,” you offer, not knowing what else to say. It’s not like the girls were lying. Their words were terrible, and they should not have been said in earshot of Helaena; but they were true.

“Dragons do not speak our language,” Helaena says haltingly, deliberately. A sapphire-blue butterfly lands on her outstretched hand. “But still, they understand. To think they don’t is a mistake.”

“Yes,” you agree.

“They are not stone. They feel as deeply as we do.”

“Yes,” you say again. She means herself, of course; woven in the womb to speak differently, to think differently, to be so irretrievably different. And yet you find every thread of her wonderous.

She opens her arms wide. For a moment, you don’t understand what she wants; and then you embrace her. She clutches you tightly, digging her fingernails into your shoulder blades, burying her face in your neck. You can feel her tears there, hot and flowing freely.

“It’s alright,” you soothe. “Everything’s okay. You are so loved. You are so blameless.”

“I want to help you,” she says softly between sobs.

“Help me…? Help me with what, Helaena…?”

“I want to help you,” she repeats; and then she plods off, swiping tears from her eyes with both hands, still surrounded by a blizzard of butterflies.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I have to talk to you about something,” Aemond says.

You are sitting together under a juniper tree on Bearstone with a picnic you’ve assembled: breads, cheeses, cherry and apricot jams, glossy red apples, honey cakes, wine for him, pomegranate juice for you. The kitchen staff had shot you sideways glances as you plucked each item from their cupboards. They know you’re Helaena’s lady-in-waiting, but they also know that you’ve been spotted socializing with the royal family with increasing frequency. There are whispers, and there are rumors, but if Alicent and Otto Hightower are aware of them they haven’t mentioned anything to you. Perhaps they feel it’s not even worth mentioning. Perhaps they expect the problem to be imminently remedied by one of those gorgeous, wealthy, well-connected women sauntering around the Red Keep.

“Okay.” You steel yourself for what comes next. You’ve known this was coming since the very beginning, since your arrival in King’s Landing, since before he ever touched you; Aemond Targaryen must marry, and he must marry well. Your hand settles protectively, instinctively over your belly, where your child lives unbeknownst to the rest of the world. You will be showing within a few months. What happens next will not only affect you. The prince’s affection for you is such that you now trust him not to leave you abandoned, adrift…but which path will he choose for you? He could give some lord a generous reward in exchange for marrying and providing for you…although given his territorial nature, this seems unlikely. He could send you back to Bear Island. He could send you to Dorne, where he counts the maesters among his few true friends. He could send you anywhere. He could set up a small household in the Crownlands somewhere, visit you a few times a year, know his child only as a passing thought. Regardless, you will lose him, whether in part or in whole; regardless, he will drain away from you like spilled blood.

Aemond says: “I think we should marry as soon as possible.”

Your mouth falls open. The apple you’ve been holding rolls out of your grasp. “You can’t marry me.”

“Why? You don’t consent?”

“No, I…” You shake your head, staring at him, stunned. You can’t find your words. “I…I’m a Mormont.”

He smiles. “I am aware of this, Moonstone.”

“Then surely you are also aware that there are currently about fifty highly-esteemed noblewomen in King’s Landing prepared to fight to the death for a chance to marry you. And that Otto Hightower and your mother are expecting a prompt betrothal to one of them.”

“I won’t do it,” he says calmly.

“You have to.” It pains you to say it, it flays you alive to say it, but it’s true. “I know that. I’ve always known it.”

“I have met my match in you. I will have no other. And my child must be legitimate.”

“They won’t allow it, they’ve planned this for years, they need this marriage—”

“Then Daeron can do it,” Aemond says. “There is one more son of King Viserys, is there not?” Daeron is younger than Aemond. He’s been serving Lord Ormund Hightower as a squire in Oldtown since he was twelve. You’ve heard that he’s a sweet boy, a compliant boy, more humble than either of his brothers. But he won’t be ready to marry for another few years. Aemond peers out over the ocean, meditative, melancholy. “I have already given enough to this family.” His eye, he means; his eye and his dragon and his swordsmanship and his fierce, efficient loyalty. “They will not take you from me too.”

You watch him, the wheels in your mind whirling. Is it possible? Is it really? When he turns back to you, he is at once himself again, or at least the way he is with you: kind, gentle, alight.

“What do you think, Moonstone?” Perhaps he’s nervous, but he’s hiding it well.

“I think that there is nothing I want more than to be bound to you in every way possible.”

“You must truly consider it,” he warns. “If you are my wife, you are inextricably linked to our side in what comes after. You must fully understand what you are entering into. Nothing can stop me from having you except your own will. If you have rethought your allegiances, or if you cannot bear to face the bloodshed…I can send you somewhere safe. I can make you disappear.”

What comes after. War, he means; the war of succession that will almost certainly follow the ailing King Viserys’ death, whether in a week or a month or a year. On one side will be Rhaenyra and Daemon. On the other will be Alicent’s children. You know exactly where you’ll be standing. “I understand, and I consent. I will shy away from no battles.”

Aemond closes the space between you. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you roughly, deeply, sending dragonfire heat spiraling down to every piece of you: nerves, arteries, bones, heart.

“So you aren’t bored of me yet,” you tease, climbing into his lap, your fingers tangling in his silver hair. Your freshly renewed body fits with his perfectly, effortlessly, like the black of night around the stars.

“Regrettably, I am not even the least bit bored of you.”

“I hope I don’t get you killed.”

“I’m sure you’d have a spell to fix that.”

You laugh, and he kisses you again, grinning, greedy. You respond eagerly, melding into his rhythm. Blood rushes to your cheeks. Your heartbeat races. The ocean wind is strong and tearing, the grass beneath your knees soft.

“Hm. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” your betrothed murmurs, his palms pressed into the small of your back, pulling you in closer.

“Me too.”

“And you’re hungry again.”

“Starving,” you amend, grinding your hips against his, turning his face away with your hand so you can bite the soft white skin of his throat.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps. His right eye is dazed, rapt, lost in you like a labyrinth; his sapphire glistens like sunbeams reflected off the crests of waves. You guide his hands beneath your dress so he can feel how wet you are. And he whispers slyly as he helps free you from all those cumbersome layers of fabric: “I told you you’d always be mine.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Aemond has studied the marriage rituals of the North. He knows them almost as well as you do. And so what must happen next is clear.

He comes to collect you from your room when the moon is high and the rest of the Red Keep dreaming. He looks the same as he always does—dressed in black, hair long and flowing, stoic and unsmiling until he sees you—and there are no special ornaments for you either. Weddings witnessed by the Old Gods are not strewn with guests or festivities or music or gold. They are vestiges of long, dark, cold winters when survival itself was a triumph. They are bare; they require only the meeting of two honest souls. And a heart tree.

Aemond grazes a thumb across your cheekbone, marveling at you. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” And you are: completely, absolutely, with every drop of blood in your veins.

He takes your hand in his. He leads you from the room. And then, on the other side of the door, you discover Helaena. Both you and Aemond halt mid-step.

“Can I come too?” Helaena asks timidly. Moonlight glows on her angelic face. “I would like to be there. I would like to see you happy. Someone should be happy…if not me and Aegon, if not Mother and Sir Criston, if not the king…then at the very least you two should be.”

“Helaena…” Your words cut off, choked by emotion. You reach for her. She burrows into your arms with no reluctance at all. “Of course, my love,” you say, holding her. Aemond gazes at you, smiling faintly, immeasurably proud. “Of course. You are always, always welcome.”

In the godswood, under the cold fire of infinite constellations, the three of you arrive at the heart tree. You carry no torches to attract the attention of others. In the darkness, there is no discerning the color of the grass or the bark or the leaves. All the world is a murky, placid indigo; all the world is blind to arbitrary mortal designations of good and evil.

“There’s one thing I should mention,” Aemond says. “I have arranged for us to have a witness. I know they aren’t necessary in the North—the Old Gods themselves are the witnesses, seeing through the heart tree like a window—but I thought it would be wise for us to have someone of widely-regarded integrity to confirm that this marriage occurred. There can be no disputing it later.”

This is sensible. Your palm skates over your belly before you remember to stop yourself; you must get into the habit of giving away no clues of your pregnancy…until your marriage is public, at least. “But who…?”

Sir Criston Cole trudges into the godswood in full armor. “Alright Aemond, you better not be forcing me to help you catch and cut open a bull again, I’ve still got the bruises from last time, good gods…” He stops dead when he sees you. “Oh. So this has been the cause of your distraction.”

“Sir Criston, Lady Mormont and I are to marry.”

Sir Criston’s eyes are wide and blinking. “…Marry…?”

“Yes,” Aemond says. “Immediately.”

“What? Where…?”

“Here.” He turns to the heart tree in explanation.

Sir Criston stares blankly at the three of you, then shakes off his paralysis. “Oh no. No no no. Your mother would murder me.”

“I think we both know that’s not true.”

“Aemond…” Sir Criston begins, petrified.

“I am asking you to serve as a witness because of the love you bear for me and my family,” the prince says. “And I am asking you to keep this from my mother and grandfather. Not for long, mind you. Just until the feast has passed and the nobles have returned home to their own castles. Then I will inform my family in private, and they can soften the blow by offering Daeron’s hand in marriage to whichever house they decide they like best. This is not treason, Sir Criston. It is a mark of the profound trust I have in you.”

“Oh gods. Gods help me.” Sir Criston covers his face with his hands and stays that way for what feels like a very long time. Fireflies illuminate the cool night air like stars. Several land on the sleeves of Helaena’s gown and shine there like jewels. “Okay,” Sir Criston agrees at last. “I’ll do it, Aemond. I’ll do it for you.”

The prince embraces the lowborn knight, perhaps the best swordsman in the realm. “You’re the closest thing I have to a father.”

“I know.” Sir Criston’s mouth quivers. His dark eyes are slick. “Now let’s do this before I lose my nerve.”

You and Aemond join hands under the rustling leaves of the heart tree. Sir Criston stands beside the prince; Helaena stays near you. There is a distant rumbling of thunder. Sparce raindrops begin to fall. Aemond doesn’t know the vows used in a Northern wedding, you realize, and you can’t remember them well from the marriage ceremonies you attended as a child; from what you can recall, they are generic, plain, ‘who comes to take this woman?’ and that sort of thing.

“What should we say, wife?” the prince asks you, smiling, starlight in his eye. Suddenly, you are alone with him here in the godswood. You are the last people in Westeros, in the entire world. Winter has come and gone and left nothing but two ghosts doomed to dwell together here for eternity.

You speak without first thinking of what to say. The words flow through you like a river. “In the sight of gods and men, I bind myself to you. I will run from no battles, I will crave no flesh but yours, I will put no cause before your own. I pledge to you any strengths that I possess and I vow to slay my weaknesses. I am yours, body and soul. Use me as you will, but only out of love.”

Aemond repeats these words, and then he kisses you. Helaena claps; Sir Criston bows his head to hide a small, sincere smile. Rain falls as you all hurry back inside the Red Keep.

For the very first time, Aemond takes you to his own bed, to the room where you cast the spell of protection that saved him in the joust. There are still remnants of dust on the floor; he could not bring himself to erase you. As your clothes fall away, flashes of lightning reveal every line and birthmark and scar. There is no shyness. You know every stitch of each other already. You make love with gentle, exquisite slowness as the storm builds outside: his fingers woven through yours, his thrusts deep, his whispered promises heavy with truth.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I have something for you,” your husband says as you stand together by the fireplace in the privacy of Helaena’s chambers. In the flames, dry wood pops and crackles. “For the feast.”

“We are so well matched you will not believe it,” you reply. “I have something for you too.”

Helaena brings it over: a tunic that you have been embroidering together for days. It is black—Aemond’s preferred color—but decorated with a dragon of silver thread. The beast winds around the wearer’s back and waist and arms, breathing cool glistening fire.

“It’s supposed to look like Vhagar,” you explain. “But…well…I’m not quite as good at embroidery as Helaena is, so the face is a little…and the wings…”

“It’s perfect,” Aemond says, beaming. And then again: “It’s perfect!” He yanks off his plain black tunic and replaces it with the one you’ve gifted him. “Now I will appear especially dashing for all my prospective wives.”

Helaena giggles, blushing a cheerful pink. She is elated to be in on a joke, to have been trusted with information of such consequence. She points at the silver dragon. “Be cautious with her. She will not always listen.”

“Who, Vhagar?” Aemond asks. “She listens well enough. I’ve tamed her. I’m good at taming all manner of beasts…dragons…bulls…bears…” He grabs you by the waist and draws you to him, kissing the side of your face over and over until you squeal and push him away, laughing. “As for my gift…” He calls for the servants and they enter with a gown. They hand it to the prince, casting you a wary glance, and then disappear again. The gown is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. The color is subtle, shimmering, opalescent, almost…

“It’s…it’s…”

“Moonstone,” Aemond says. He gives it to you. The fabric flows like water. “I commissioned it the day after the joust. No one else will have anything like it. I’ll be able to spot you anywhere in the room.”

“I doubt you’ll have time to notice me. There will be a plethora of views to enjoy.”

“Yes,” he agrees. “But you’ll be the best.”

He leaves to accompany Alicent as she enters the feast while you and Helaena finish getting ready. Helaena’s gown is a vivid greenish-blue, and the stones in her jewelry are turquoise. There are teardrop-shaped sapphires dangling from your ears and a string of them around your left wrist, gifts from the princess. As always, your moonstone pendant hangs from your neck. You are dressed ostentatiously for a mere lady-in-waiting, particularly one from as modest a house as your own. People may wonder about that. You smile to yourself. They won’t have to wonder long.

The Great Hall is radiant with music and conversation and candlelight. The most celebrated houses of Westeros mingle: the men boasting about their lands and their swords (which hang at their belts in scabbards of leather or metal), the women boasting about their wombs, the children boasting about their enviable betrothals. Those who don’t yet have betrothals to boast about are hoping to procure one tonight. No one pays much attention to you—the daughter of an important house, the widow of an unimportant man—unless it is to compliment your gown. You and Helaena dance together with flushed faces, giggling and twirling until you trip and fall into each other’s waiting arms. Meanwhile, Aemond—who, contrary to you, is having a great deal of attention paid to him—dutifully navigates the hall to pay his respects to the Baratheons, the Lannisters, the Tyrells, the Arryns, the Starks, on and on down the ladder. He speaks to each of the families, nodding politely to the clamoring, bejeweled daughters, before moving on to the next. He does this as quickly as he can so he can get it over with. He has never been at ease with strangers. He has never found it simple to trust them. A part of him will always be that overlooked, scorned second son, reserved by nature, suspicious by necessity; it’s just that he sometimes forgets this when he’s with you. No matter where he goes in the room, he keeps you on his good side. He watches you, he covets you.

There is one guest, and only one, who notices you and asks for a dance. Cregan Stark is young and handsome next to the other lords, nearly your same age, and you had met years before as children. He has a natural, kind charisma. He asks you about your family back on Bear Island as he carries you around the floor like a strong wind, tells you about Winterfell, offers his condolences for the loss of your mother. He doesn’t even think to mention your late husband. It is a commiseration between two Northerners in a distant land; it is a comfort to you both. As soon as Cregan Stark drops your hand and departs to awe some other lady, Aemond appears.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks good-naturedly as he circles you, gliding his palm nonchalantly over your waist, your wrists, the small of your back. Your skin responds to him, goosebumps rising, lust kicking up like embers in a stirred fire.

“Diplomacy,” you reply primly.

“Hm. Perhaps we should send you to negotiate treaties.”

“I am very persuasive.”

“Yes, I know.” And he takes your hand to spin you around just once before leaving to pretend to consider marrying some other woman.

When Helaena is whisked away to dance with Otto Hightower, you pour yourself a cup of pomegranate juice and nurse it as you stand by the wall, alone. The noblewomen from the tea party toss you venomous sneers. You ignore them. You have everything they could ever want and more. Your hand settles briefly, forgetfully on your belly, and then you snatch it away.

Aegon, very intoxicated, wobbles over to you and props his back against the wall so he can keep his balance. “Hello,” he slurs.

“Hello.”

“I thought you might like to disparage the candidates with me,” he says, then gestures with his wine cup. “Look at that Floris Baratheon. Ears like a fucking donkey.”

You chuckle, hiding your face guiltily behind your own cup. “Shh. She’s not so bad.”

“You seem to be handling this remarkably well. Perhaps my brother has bored you, perhaps you have had your fill of him. Or perhaps you aren’t so heartbroken because he’s planning to keep you around as his mistress. I wouldn’t have guessed that to be his style, but upon second thought, you have thoroughly corrupted him. In that case, he should choose the donkey for sure. Someone stupid and docile. You can have rooms on opposite ends of the Red Keep and there will be no need for you to claw each other’s eyes out.”

“I’m not an animal, Prince Aegon.”

“You’re a Mormont. That’s hardly better.”

You smile. He smiles back.

Aegon leans into you, unsteady but not purposefully intrusive. “You’re worth more than all of them put together. I’m sorry that’s not what matters.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“We are natural allies,” he says, and clinks his cup against yours in a toast. Fortunately, he is too drunk to notice that you’re avoiding wine this evening. That would certainly raise some suspicions. “I know your secret, and you know mine.”

“What…?” And then you understand. Your secret is your relationship with Aemond, that part is easy. Aegon’s secret is a bit more obscure. What perhaps no one else knows is that there is more to him than brash words and wicked deeds and flippant, lazy recklessness. That he loves his family. That—somewhere way down deep, unspoken but alive—he cares.

Aegon shoves himself away from the wall and gives you a parting bow, clumsy and lurching. “Enjoy your evening as best you can. I’m going to go piss on the floor.”

“Cheers,” you reply. He staggers away, leaving you alone again.

As the Great Hall whirls around you like a galaxy, you bask in the warm glow of this moment, this liminal space like a doorway. There will be grumbles, surely, but what you and Aemond have forged cannot be undone. No one can take away your marriage. No one can take away your child. You knew unconditional love once, long ago on Bear Island, safe in your mother’s arms; now you have it again. You belong somewhere again. You took one hell of a detour, but now you are home.

You don’t feel him enter the hall, because he’s not Aemond Targaryen. He doesn’t change the room at all. You only turn because you hear rising chatter, and then elated shouts, and then the thunder of men’s handshakes and pounds on the back. You wonder who is being congratulated, who is being cheered like a soldier returning from war. When you see him, your cup drops out of your hand. Pomegranate juice floods across the floor like blood. He sees you, rushes to you; and it's the strangest thing, because it all seems to be happening very slowly, but not slowly enough for you to flee. It’s like one of those dreams where you’re trying to run but you can’t. You can’t even speak. You can’t even scream.

He is battered and bruised and thinner—harsher—than you remember, but it’s him. His name rings through the hall in a hundred different voices.

“Axel Hightower, back from the dead!”

“He survived the shipwreck! Praise the gods!”

“And now he’s come to surprise his wife!”

You are powerless to stop his approach. You are chained in place by horror. All around you, the life you thought you’d have is crumbling into dust. It’s running out of your fingers like sand in an hourglass.

“Aww, look, the poor thing is in shock! She can’t believe it!” some idiot sighs romantically. There are applause and whistles. On the periphery of your vision, you see Aegon backing away as far as he can from the dance floor. His head whips around, searching for someone.

Axel grips your arm, pulls you into him, and kisses you. It feels like being invaded. It feels like that very first night with him when he—not cruelly, no, but with a dreadful, willing ignorance—forced his way inside you until it felt like you were being sawed in half. You flinch violently; every muscle, every nerve screams to be away from him. You try to push Axel off of you, but he doesn’t budge. Why would he? He owns you, like a castle or a horse. He can do whatever he likes to you. The notion of you having desires to the contrary would never even cross his mind. There are tears bleeding down your cheeks: for you, for your child, for the future whose throat has just been slit in this room. It feels like you’re dying. You wish you were.

There is the shrill whisper of a blade being torn from its scabbard. All the guests fall silent. Axel takes a step back from you, his fingers still clamped around your forearm. Aemond holds the point of his sword to Axel’s throat. Several crimson beads drip from where the steel has pierced the paper-thin surface layer of skin. Aemond’s voice is dark, like nightfall, like onyx. His eye is blazing blue, cold fire. “Remove your hands from her, or you will lose them.”

Axel is too mystified to be outraged. He releases you. You can breathe again. “She is my wife by law.”

“She carries my child!” Aemond’s words ricochet off the walls like shattered glass. The Great Hall boils over with gasps and scandalized jabbering. “And we married under the heart tree. She is mine.”

“You what?!” Aegon blurts out.

“You what?!” Otto Hightower roars.

“Sir Criston?” Aemond calls, summoning him.

Sir Criston Cole steps out of the rabble. “It’s true,” he says. He hides his reddening face from Queen Alicent. “I witnessed it. They are wed.”

“This is an outrage!” Axel bellows, then looks to the crowd for their verdict.

“Bigamy!” someone cries out. A chorus joins them, a sea of jilted noble families who can only benefit from Axel carting you back to Oldtown.

“Whore! Whore!”

“Poor Axel Hightower escapes from the jaws of death to find this?!”

“A mortal sin!”

“Go back to your true husband!”

“Take her to the dungeons!”

Aemond steps in front of you, twirling his sword once, twice, again. “And who would like to be the first to try?”

No one moves to detain you, but the crowd’s sentiment is unmistakable, rabid. The jeers continue to rain down on you: bigamist, sinner, whore. And you can’t even decry them as slander, because they’re true. Otto Hightower is clutching the back of a chair like he might fall over without it. Alicent’s eyes are pooling with stunned, furious tears. Helaena sinks to the floor, covering her ears with both hands. After taking a moment to consider it, Sir Criston moves to stand beside Aemond and draws his own sword.

Ideas flit through Aemond’s mind like arrows. He catches one of them. As Sir Criston watches the crowd, Aemond turns back to you and touches your face with his free hand. “Say you want a trial by combat.”

“Are you sure—?”

“I can beat any man here besides Sir Criston and he wouldn’t fight me, just say it.”

“I demand a trial by combat!” you announce for all the court to witness.

“No she doesn’t!” Otto shouts, trying to drown you out.

“She does,” Aemond insists, grinning madly. “And I will be her champion.”

“Then I shall name my own!” Axel says. Already the court is chattering that there is no great cowardice in this; he is still recovering from his ordeal, far from his physical peak, and Prince Aemond is one of the best swordsmen in King’s Landing. Axel scans the Great Hall for someone, anyone, who could challenge him. Sir Criston could probably best Aemond, but he would never agree to try. His allegiances to both Alicent and Aemond are too great. Who else could there be? Who else could there possibly be?

And then Axel’s gaze lands on him. When Aemond said he could beat any man here, he wasn’t wrong. The giant the court calls Killington hardly counts as a man at all. He’s not a man; he’s a monster. And he’s been thirsty for Aemond’s blood for years. He towers over anyone else in the room; he outweighs them by double. He steps forward, answering a question that has not yet been asked.

Axel’s face splits into a grin. His eyes glint like mirrors, like blades. “I choose Ivar Kellington.”

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond targaryen #aemond imagine #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen imagine

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malarkgirlypop · 5 months

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MEDIC! Part 21 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

I know I wrote this but I'm so mad at Don, but I did it so! Some fighting, some fluff, some ass hitting as per request of @next-autopsy, ahahah jk! Let me know what you think!

I also just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who reads my fic! I have now posted 21 chapters which is so much! Thank you for sticking with me, I know it's been long! I am so excited to keep going with this story. Probably the only thing I have stuck too and not given up half way, which my brain likes to do! I love you all, thank you for all your support and amazing comments, truly makes me so happy and I just want to keep sharing my work with you all! I really can't thank you all enough, how do I buy you all presents? ahahahah.

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.Keep reading

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2 (let me know if you want to be tagged.)

The men wandered back into the room, I stopped Don as he walked in, grabbing him by his arm.

“Can we talk?” I asked, he nodded, moving out of the room again. I walked down stairs finding somewhere more private to speak to him. I walked into one of the empty rooms, Don followed behind closing the door.

“So are you going to explain what happened?” He asked, sitting on the edge of one of the bunks I sat opposite him on the other bed.

“Why were you in a towel?” He asked before I could tell him anything.

“Cobb stole my clothes while I was showering. So I marched through town in my towel to confront him.” I told him, his eyes widened as I told the story.

“Emily! You can’t do that!” He scolded me. I rolled my eyes. I felt angry, he wasn’t there. That was selfish of me, but I was still mad. I handled the situation myself, and he wants to tell me what I can and can’t do. He hasn’t spoken to me in days, he walks away when I approach him, he dismisses me at every turn. Now he wants to pretend like he cares.

“It’s already happened, so…” I say my tone clipped. There was a pause, I couldn’t help myself. “Have I done something to make you angry with me?” I asked. He furrowed his brows.

“No.” He stated. I huffed. Not satisfied with the answer he had given. So he was avoiding me just because.

“Well is something wrong, are you upset?” I tried to make sense of the distance he had placed between us.

“No.” I bit my lip, I was an angry crier, hell I was an everything crier, but still I didn’t want him to see me upset like that. I didn’t want to break down and cry. I needed to hash this out, without him trying to comfort me, or leaving cause I was sad.

“No, is that all you have to say? Don you haven’t spoken to me in days.” My voice wobbles, I take a breath trying to calm myself.

“I’ve been busy.” I scoffed. “I have! I’m a leader now, these men depend on me.” His voice was harsh.

“Yeah and you seem to make time for them. I’m in your team too.” I felt so selfish, but I was hurting, he was my person and he was just leaving me like I wasn’t his. Maybe I’m not his.

“Why are you stepping back from me? I thought we were friends! I thought you said we were in this together! You promised me you would always be by my side! Has that changed?” I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. I thought back to after the incident in Noville, after I had washed up. Don said, no he promised me that we would look after each other.

“I have a lot on my plate at the moment, I can’t be your babysitter! I can’t…” He trailed off looking at my face. Tears fell down my cheeks. That hurt, fuck that hurt.

“That’s all it was? You felt obliged to look after me?” I couldn’t hide the pain, like a stab in the heart. So he didn’t care, really. He felt obligated to make sure I was ok, there were no feelings involved. It was an order, a duty he felt he needed to take. He opened his mouth, but the door to the room opened, a soldier asking for him. I wiped the tears from my face, turning away from the door. He stood and left. He left, he didn’t say anything, just left. I took a breath, sniffing, wiping away my tears. I felt sick. I scrubbed a hand over my face.

I made my way back upstairs, the men lounging about.

“Here she is the streaker.” Grant clapped me on the back. I gave a weak smile, but they didn’t seem to notice, too busy laughing at their joke. I grabbed my bag.

“I have to go check on Lip!” I said, rushing out of the room. It was true, I should check on the very sick man, but it was a way to escape. I didn’t need them asking questions. I just needed to think by myself for a bit. I made my way to CP, it was quiet. I walked into the back room, sighing, pleased to see Lipton finally sleeping in his bed. I shut the door after ensuring he was breathing. I moved back into the main room, plopping down on the couch. I tried to get my emotions in check, but it was a lot, all I wanted was my mum. I just wanted a hug from someone. I sniffed, wiping the tears from my chin. Just a babysitter, I laughed in pain. I hastily dried my tears when footsteps approached the room. I glanced over to see Ron walk in.

“Emily? What are you doing here?” He asked, walking further into the room.

“I just came to check on Lip, he’s sleeping.” My voice betrayed me, wobbling slightly as I spoke.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Ron moved quickly over to me, kneeling in front of where I sat.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. More tears falling down my face. His brows pinched as he looked at me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, moving to sit next to me. I shook my head. “Do you want anything?”

“Can I have a hug?” I whispered. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around me. Pulling me into his chest, I clung onto his arm that held my front, he gently stroked my hair. My mum used to hug me the same way. The thought made me cry harder.

“Shh.” He cooed, rocking us slightly, his chin resting on the top of my head. I felt like a child again, after falling over, being comforted by your parent. I felt so small in his arms, I felt so vulnerable, I didn’t have to say anything but he could see it all. He didn’t comment but he knew.

We stayed like that for a moment, but I knew he was busy. I pulled away, his arms falling from around me. I wiped my tears, giving him a small smile.

“Thanks.” I said weakly. He nodded, smoothing down my hair with his hand.

“I have to go. Emily, remember you can come to me.” He said standing, I nodded, watching him leave the room again.

—------------

I made my way back to the house, dragging my feet. I didn’t want to see Don. Before I left I looked in one of the broken mirrors, my face was pink and blotchy, my eyes all red and bloodshot. If anyone looked at me longer than a second they would be able to tell I had been crying. I mean when am I not crying, it’s been my permanent state since I arrived here.

Lieb passed me on the street, “Hey we were going to see George, see if we could steal some goods, you wanna come?” He asked, but before I could answer he was already dragging me down the road.

Lieb and I walked into the ration room where George was working hard. Before we had entered we’d heard Martin and Cobb pestering poor Luz for candy.

Lieb waltzed right in, “Woah, Hershey bars!” Reaching over the counter to grab at the candy. George looked pissed, swatting his hand away.

“Jesus Chirst.” He muttered, Cobb swung around telling Lieb to wait his turn.

“Who are they for?” Lieb asked, pointing at all of the boxes filled with goodies. I stood behind the men just watching. I smiled at George, he gave me a wink back.

“Not you Lieb!” George growled at the men.

“Oh, come on George, one bar!” Lieb whined like a child, holding out his hand.

“George!” I said sweetly, making my way towards him. I stood beside him wrapping my arm around his shoulders, his arm snaked around my waist. “You look so handsome today.” I smiled, putting on my charm. “So strong.” I said, patting his chest. He grinned at me rolling his eyes. “I love what you have done with your hair.” I fluttered my lashes, running my fingers through his hair.

“Here, have a chocolate bar, you flirt.” He said leaning forward to grab me one from the box.

“Ah, for me?” I gasped, placing my hand on my chest acting coy. He handed it to me. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“HEY! Hey, why does she get one!” Lieb protested.

“Yeah what the hell George!” Cobb agreed.

“Cause she’s pretty, unlike you ugly son’s of bitches.” He insulted them. I laughed, poking my tongue out at the men, I held up the bar rubbing it in their faces. George shooed me away, slapping me on the ass as I retreated, I let out a squeal in surprise, turning to laugh with the man.

“George one bar!” Lieb pleaded.

“No, there’s not enough to go around!” George yelled at them.

I left quickly, seeing that Lieb seemed to be eyeing up my prize.

—-------------

“Let’s go!” Chuck shook me awake, I had almost completely dozed off on my bunk, but was rudely awoken by the man.

“Where?” I asked, sitting up stretching.

“Briefing at CP, come on.” He hauled me out of bed by my arms. I followed along, still spaced from being asleep moments ago.

“Why am I coming?” I asked trailing along behind the group, yawning into my hand.

“You're on call, if anything goes wrong.” Lieb tells me, I nod. I don’t actually think I need to be there, but I’m dragged to it anyway.

Babe slings me under his arm as we walk. I let him lead me, only having my eyes open a crack.

The boys slump down into their seats in CP waiting for the others to arrive for the briefing. I lean against the back wall by the window behind Web. I don’t need to be right up at the front with the rest of the men, as I’m not going on the patrol. Lt. Jones leans against the wall by the entrance looking nervous, quiet chatter filling the room.

“Come on, he can’t be leading.” I hear Grant whisper to Babe. There had been a rumour spread quickly, no surprises there, these boys gossiped like no one’s business, that Jones was leading the patrol. Which made them all very apprehensive of going, more so than before. We all saw what happens when we don't have a good leader running the show. Cough, cough Dike.

“I’m not sure what they decided.” Babe said to him. They lounge with their legs propped up on the table same as the other men gathered around the table.

“No way. Not on his first day.” Grant continued in his disbelief.

“Well, do you see any other officers here?” Lieb asked.

More men gathered in the room, standing around the table. I could make out a few of them Cobb, Skinny, two other guys I couldn’t remember their names.

They chatted briefly, with the new men wondering who was going to be in charge of the patrol. Sending worried glances to the young officer in the corner, hoping and praying it wasn’t him.

“10-hut!” Jones announced. I had no idea what that meant, but I straightened standing tall. Since when did we do this?

“Jesus.” I heard Lieb mutter to himself as he stood.

“At ease.” Winters told the men who relaxed back into their seats, Martin followed in behind him.

I kind of listened, kind of didn’t. I got the basics, the patrol was happening at 0100, how fun! That 15 men were going over on the patrol, which was a prisoner snatch. They had four rubber boats to go across the river, so that they didn’t have to swim in the icy cold water. Most importantly Winters informed the men that Lt. Jones would in fact be the ranking officer, but he was going to be shadowed by Martin. Sergeant Martin was going to lead the patrol in place of Malarkey. My brain clicked on, he isn’t going. I sighed with relief, I was glad he didn’t have to go.

I also didn’t miss the look shared between Jones and Web, neither did Martin glaring at the pair of them. What had they been up to together for that kind of interaction? Had they been planning this. I know Jones wanted in on the patrol. What had Webster done to hook him up with the position he was in now? Webster didn’t have any pull around here, he literally just arrived back!

“10-hut!” Jones’ voice pulled me from my thoughts, no one stood at attention which is what I assumed the call was.

“As you were, carry on.” Winters said disappearing with Martin.

“A little German, he speaks as much German as me.” Lieb said loudly enough for Webster who was standing right beside him to hear. Webster left the room quickly.

“Come on you, let’s go.” I was again dragged from the building by Grant and Lieb. We gathered outside, the pair bitching loudly about Webster.

“Hey.” I said smacking the pair of them. “You two are shit stirrers.”

“What are you siding with him?” Grant asked.

“No, I’m not. But I feel bad.” I wasn’t here to bully the poor guy.

“Why do you feel bad Em? That guy has been on holiday for four months, during our hardest time and then just rocks back up when everything is almost over to take all the glory.” Lieb told me, clearly pissed off.

“Em is just too sweet.” Grant said, pinning me under his arm and trying to tickle my neck. I hunched my shoulders up trying to hide the ticklish skin from his fingers.

“Let’s get moving. I want to try and get some shut eye before we do this.” Lieb said, Grant let me go from his hold. I hid behind Lieb using his body as a shield as Grant continued to taunt me with his wiggling fingers.

We walked back to base passing Webster who was talking to the officers.

“Hey, Liebgott, you want to sit this one out?” Ron asked Lieb as we passed. Grant grinning beside him.

“Yes, sir.” Lieb agreed, smiling brightly. “Thanks buddy!” Lieb sent Webster a wink.

I caught Ron’s glance, his eyes scanning my features. I could tell he was trying to see if I was alright. I sent him a smile, mouthing ‘I’m ok.’ He nodded, turning back to the men he was talking to.

—----------

We gathered in the basement having supper before we tried to get some sleep. I sat at the table sipping my water. My bad mood was back. Don was pretending like everything was fine. He smiled and laughed with the men, sitting and chatting with them. The more I watched him the more pissed off it made me. I was over here stewing, and he seemed like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“You’re going to crush the cup if you squeeze it any harder, Em.” Lieb said, sitting next to me. I loosened the hold on my cup not realising how much power I had behind the grip.

”I thought you would be in a better mood, now that your husband isn’t going on the patrol?” Lieb with a full mouth of food.

“Emily, you want some?” I looked up, Don stood in front of me holding out a pot of food, a lazy smile on his face. I took a breath, trying not to hurl my cup at his head.

“I’m fine, thanks. Not hungry.” My tone clipped. He nodded, moving onto the next person.

“Oh no, trouble in paradise?” Lieb nudged me.

“Fuck off, Joe!” I sent him daggers, he held up his arms in surrender.

“It must be bad, you never swear at me!” I chuckled, he smirked, “Aw there she is. Gosh that other one was scary! She looked like she was going to bite my head off.” I raised my eyebrows, cautioning him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked more seriously now, coming closer to keep his voice down.

“Nope. Not particularly.” He gave me an empathetic smile, rubbing my back.

“Come on, you know you’re hungry.” Lieb offered me his food out on the spoon. I rolled my eyes, but opened my mouth. He placed the spoon in my mouth. We shared his meal, he secretly snuck up to get more for the two of us.

We sat at the table talking when Webster approached us. “Hi.” He smiled, giving an awkward wave. Lieb nudged me under the table, I knew he was asking if I had seen the same thing that he did. I glanced over to Lieb, a small smile pulling to my lips as he hid his smirk behind his hand.

“Hey Web!” I said politely, focussing back on the man standing before us. “You gonna go get ready for tonight?” I asked, the other men had slowly left the room preparing themselves for the patrol, Martin had told them nothing rattles, nothing shines so they don’t give themselves away.

“Oh yeah, I was just going to head up and join them.” Webster smiled at me. Another kick under the table from Lieb but I ignored him. I waited for Webster to say something else, surely he had something else to say right, he didn’t just approach us to stand there awkwardly. I silently begged him to speak again. Come on Web don’t make this weird.

“You look nice.” He blurted, I heard Lieb snort in laughter. He made it weird. “I mean, you look clean.” I made a strange looking face at him, “No, not clean! Um, you look, dressed.” I chuckled, baffled by his comments as he fumbled over his words. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna, go.” He nodded leaving up the stairs. Joe waited for him to leave the room before howling with laughter, he clutched his belly as he did so. I sat there so confused at what just happened.

“That was a train wreck, that man cannot flirt.” Joe said after he had finished laughing.

“Flirt?” I asked, that’s not what I got from the conversation.

“Emily! Come on, he was clearly trying to flirt with you.” Lieb looked at me surprised.

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head, surely he wasn’t.

“God you’re hopeless.” He patted my back, getting up chuckling to himself. “Come on, we will do dishes.” Lieb instructed me.

“We will do dishes? Or you will stand there and tell me what to do while you watch?” I raised my eyebrows at him. He grinned, knowing I had caught onto his little tactic he pulled last time.

I washed the dishes while he dried. I dried my hands on the tea towel as Joe waited patiently for me to give it back. A devious grin formed on my lips. I twirled the tea towel round in my hand wrapping it around itself so it looked like a long snake. Joe wasn’t paying attention as I walked closer to him. I snapped the tea towel out, whipping him in the butt.

“Hey!” He cried moving away, it wasn’t the best flick, it didn’t snap like I wanted it too. I tried again, wringing the tea towel around. I flicked it out but Joe snatched it off me before the hit landed. He grinned as he did the same thing, wrapping the towel up.

“Joe! Joe! Think about it, you don’t want to hurt me.” I said backing up, he stalked me like prey with a grin plastered on his face.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish then!” He moved faster, I screamed moving away from him as he chased me around the table.

“Joe!” I cried as he backed me into a corner, I held out my arms trying to keep him at bay. He whipped out the towel it snapped just inches away from me. I yelped in surprise, making my move to run past him while he reloaded. I pushed past him but he was quick, the towel snapping onto my leg. I let out a cry, it had caught the back of my thigh. The snap echoed around the room.

“Oh Em, that was so much harder than I intended!” He laughed as I grasped at my leg hopping around the room.

“Ow!” I said, but still laughing, “Joe you asshole, that hurt!” I rubbed the spot where he had got me, it stung so much. “You little shit!”

“I’m sorry, aww Em!” He laughed watching me in pain. “That would’ve left a mark for sure.” He grinned.

“Owww, I think it did. Wait, I want to see!” I said undoing my pants, it was fine I had my shorts underneath which I normally slept in. I pulled them down exposing the back of my thigh. On my white skin was a harsh red welt with flicks of purple in the middle.

“Joe!” I said covering my mouth, it looked so bad.

“Oh god.” He hissed looking at it. “Whoops.” He said, still grinning. I smacked him on the arm, pulling up my pants. We finished the dishes together. Heading upstairs to get some sleep before the patrol.

#Don made me angry cry #wth Don #but like I wrote it #but still it pissed me off #and then he pretended like nothing happened #ugh so annoying #like why am I the only one mad you should be too #ahahahah #band of brothers #emarkey #emily lane #band of brothers fanfic #donald malarkey #hbo war #band of brothers imagine #fanfic #bill guarnere #joe toye #dick winters

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sunshinesdaydream · 6 months

Note

For the first kiss prompts~

"their hearts stop as they hear someone's cmaera click (friend catching them in the act?)"

Wiiiith Rex 👀

What do you think?

Thanks for the ask! I started out with the idea of a "forbidden" love thing but that was more angst than I have in me today. So have this bit of (nearly 500 words) fluff and 501st shenanigans.

You had let the Torrent boys talk you into going out. So the first night of shore leave you are in a booth with Rex, who they also had talked into going to the club. It had been fun earlier in the evening. When everyone had been sticking to the table in shifts. Occasionally one of them dragging you to the dance floor.

But now with just you and Rex, it felt awkward. Especially since the guys had made sure you were sitting next to each other as much as possible. You were tired anyways and had some things you wanted to take care of the next day while you had access to them.

Leaning towards him you say over the music, “I’m going to go and get some sleep,”

“Would you like me to walk you back?” He asked.

A quiet walk with Rex? Not where your every move is being watched and it’s too loud to even talk?

“I’d like that,” you answer. He nods, stands, and leads you to the door that he holds open for you. He offers you his arm, which feels awkward only until your hand is tucked at his elbow and you are walking.

“Thank you,” you say, once you are away from the thundering music of the club.

“You’re welcome,” Rex answers you. “I was thinking of asking you if you wanted to leave anyways. I think we were being watched.”

You nod, “I know we were being watched,”

You turned onto a quieter walk way. Once you were about halfway down the walkway he stops and asks, “did you really want to go sleep, or would you go somewhere quieter with me?”

“Where did you have in mind?” You ask, even though you knew you would say yes regardless.

“There is a late night cafe a few blocks from here,” Rex suggests.

“I’d love that,” you answer quickly. And get the half smile you like so much in return.

“First, may I kiss you,” he asks quietly.

“Please,” you answer with a slight nod.

As soon as his lips touch yours, just when you expected to be focused on nothing more than him you hear the distinct snap and see the flash from someone taking a holo on their com.

Your heart stops and Rex freezes as well and pulls back slowly. But you can already hear a commotion coming from the direction the flash was from. A scrambling, someone saying incredulously “you didn’t turn the flash off? Run!”

You don’t have to look to know who it is. Neither does Rex. He’s looking at you half apologetic, half already detailing his revenge.

You move closer to Rex, looking up at him. “They already got their holo. Do you want to try that again?”

The smile returned and everything else disappeared the moment his arms were around you.

Thanks for reading!

Tag List: @the-bad-batch-baronesss @lightwise @captainbutterflynonsense @sleepycreativewriter @523rdrebel @inneedoffanfics @cloneloverrrrr @trappedinlimbo15 @chubbyhedgehog @blueink-bluesoul @anoushe01 @cdblake1565 @littlemissmanga @skywlker-sluvtt @padawancat97 @clonemedickix @dystopicjumpsuit @moonlightwarriorqueen @idontgetanysleep @littlemissmanga @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @ailyr92 @anxiouspineapple99 @wizardofrozz @multi-fan-dom-madness @wolffegirlsunite

#sunshine writes #first kiss prompt #ask game #captain rex #clone captain rex #rex x reader #rex x you #star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #clone wars

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xxsycamore · 1 year

Text

𝐈𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢⁉️

↬ 💢 The residents get back at Dazai for the prank he pulled on them last April Fools' Day... or at least they try?

Dazai Osamu x MC ; featuring also Theo, Vincent, Isaac, Comte, Leonardo, Sebastian, Napoleon, Jean, Shakespeare, Mozart, Arthur • rating: G • tags: Pranks; Humor; Crack; Cursed ending • wordcount: 1, 498 • masterlist

a/n: It's Dazai's and Clavis' favorite day of the year! Special thanks to @aquagirl1978 and to everyone else who shared their prank ideas! Enjoy!

read last year's fic here! - DOOR BROKEN - USE OTHER DOOR

"Can't we just go have dinner like normal people already?!"

A cacophony of ten people shushing Isaac fills the mansion's foyer. As if gathered to watch a play at the theater, all residents concentrate their gazes on the…big doors of the entrance. Which is not the most interesting thing to watch, next to maybe watching paint dry, but Isaac keeps those thoughts to himself, not wanting to be scolded again.

Theo is seated down at the second step of the stairs, hammer in hand. He was the most enthusiastic one about putting their plan into action, having worked the hardest to made it true. Meaning, he nailed up half of the mansion's windows, leaving the other half to the others. Which included having to prevent some from moving Mozart's piano to block the piano room's floor-length windows, just because it's easier that way.

The plan? It's simple. After last year's broken door fiasco, it's time to get back at Dazai.

Last April 1st, a certain mischievous purple haired writer (and his partner in crime, MC, that noone is mad at, because, well, she is MC. They suspect she was bribed somehow) decided it would be fun if he put a sign DOOR BROKEN - USE OTHER DOOR on each and every entrance of the mansion, thus making ten men resort to climbing up through the window in order to get inside - and in the process, having them commit the most infamous Dazai crime there is, becoming no different than him.

This time, the tables have turned.

"The tables… oh, messieurs, how about I bring the dining table here, in the foyer? I'd hate to make you wait for your meals."

Unlike Isaac, Sebastian is not aggressively shushed by the rest of the people in the room. But much like them, his desire to watch the historical event of master Dazai entering through the door (diary at the ready - what diary? Noone sees a diary. There's no diary) wins the battle against his reasonable thinking process. They have to put a hand on his shoulder and comfort him that it's ok, and the table can remain where it, is in the dining room.

Theo fidgets with the hammer, as if preparing to swing it with full strength at the door, the moment it opens.

At some point, MC rushes in from the kitchen along with Vincent, holding out large bowls of popcorn to the others.

"What if he got kidnapped?" MC munches worriedly on her popcorn, staring at the door.

"Nah, what is he, an otome game protagonist? He's fine."

Theo nods, agreeing with Arthur. It's truly heartwarming to see them bonding in their shared hate for Dazai. In moments like those, it seems like Theo hates Dazai even more than he hates Shakespeare - who is by the way also invited to witness the spectacle, and Theo is not at his throat, which is quite something.

MC shakes her head, their questionable dynamics are not what's important right now.

"You're all too cruel… what if he never returns home again?"

…

"What if he never returns home again?" she repeats.

…

"You hate him THAT much?!"

MC sighs, shoving more popcorn in her mouth. She thinks of the good times spend with Dazai… well, they're not many, but…

***

Another hour passes by, seeing the residents playing card games sprawled at the top of the stairs. Leonardo is napping nearby in Comte's lap, the latter reading a book. He even bought his coquettish little binoculars he uses when at the opera, just to witness better the moment when his naughty child enters the mansion. Sebastian is wiping the stairs' railing, the squeaking sound of the rag being the only background noise in the foyer.

Isaac hugs his legs, leaning against the nearby wall, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Do you remember when Dazai brought a living chicken into the mansion?"

"Man, that was some good soup."

"Monsieur Napoleon, I'm sorry to inform you but that chicken never got cooked."

"What, you lied?"

"I had to teach him a lesson. Who knows what animal he would've returned with, next time."

"You have a point. But hey, what about that one time when he swapped everyone's pets from their rooms? I think he was just trying to cheer us up."

"Theo ended up traumatized by finding a cat on his bed." Arthur reminds sharply.

Theo grips the hammer in one hand, continuing to hold his cards in the other.

"Well, yes… but it's the thought that matters, no?"

"Once he sneaked up in the university and gave all my students apples, so I ended up having my whole desk buried in apples…"

Isaac scratches the back of his neck, hiding the hint of nostalgia that came with the memory. The gesture was a little sweet despite everything, but still, he won't forgive the writer for doing that!

"He stole my eyepatch once."

Everyone goes quiet. The unspeakable.

"Seems like he's done something bad to all of us, huh…"

"That's why he deserves to be publicly embarrassed by entering through the door. Get your minds right."

"But Theo! We're too cruel to him! He might truly never return home, and then all those memories…"

A couple of heavy sighs resonate through the spacious room. If there is something holding the ability to soothe Theo's temper, it has to be Vincent - and those words are a little too hard to gulp down.

Theo turns the hammer in his grip, its claws facing forward. He gets up on his feet.

"Okay, okay, fine. Let's get those windows open and go have dinner or something. I have better things to do anyway."

Then, suddenly, the entrance door opens.

Everyone turns their attention to the place, Comte grabs his fancy little binoculars, Theo turns the hammer the other way around (with no real intentions of throwing it, hopefully).

A man clad in a tuxedo suit walks in, his polished shoes producing few thuds against the glossy flooring as he casually enters and then turns to close the door behind him, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Wait, it IS the most natural thing in the world.

"D-Dazai? Is that you?"

Dazai turns in the direction of the voice, hand moving to slip inside his hakama out of habit, and when not finding it there, he opts for crossing his arms in front of his chest instead.

"MC? Oh, everyone else is here too? Is something the matter?"

"Why the hell are you dressed like that, you clown?! And why are you walking through the door as if it's nothing? Where's the look of defeat on your face?!"

"My, my, Theodorus! Why, where should I enter the mansion from, if not the door? Where do you enter from, Theodorus?"

"Did he just say his full name?!"

"Do you find something strange about me calling him by his full name, Isaac?"

"ISAAC? WASN'T I APPLE-KUN TO YOU? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?"

"Apple-kun? Do you prefer I call you that, instead? Because you love apples that much?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"He clearly hit his head somewhere. Maybe if we hit him again he'll go back to normal."

"No, no, gentlemen! I haven't hit my head anywhere! I'm simply a changed man since today. I wanted to surprise you all by entering through the door tonight, thinking that sadly noone would be around to witness… but look at you all lined up to see me! What an honor!"

"He even combed back his bangs… is this really our Dazai?"

Arthur blinks, then points a finger at Dazai. "Chap, you're telling us that we didn't have to spend all day nailing up the windows?!"

"You've done…that? What other mischief have you been up to, since I was gone? Tsk, tsk."

Arthur is about to have an aneurysm. And he's not alone.

"Let's just go eat."

"Yeah."

The foyer that was full of people just a second ago is now all empty save for Dazai and MC, the former still not quite getting what is happening - or rather, pretending to be confused, while secretly feeling so satisfied with himself he could rip his suit apart and start running around. He hasn't had that much fun in awhile. But he won't break character so soon.

And the latter, standing there out of genuine confusion with whatever just happened; but also…

"I'm glad you're okay, Dazai-kun."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

MC hugs Dazai, not really feeling it necessary to answer his question.

"This suit looks good on you too…"

Alternative cursed ending:

"My! I should wear it more often, then."

***

"You've done…that? What other mischief have you been up to since I was gone? Tsk, tsk."

Dazai shakes his head in pretended disappointment, but then suddenly gasps.

"So, all windows are unable to be opened right now?"

"That's right."

…

"It would be VERY bad if someone were to fart right now."

"NO"

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apalkenndream1 · 7 months

Text

I'll Follow You Into The Dark || !Tav/!Reader x Astarion

(The brain worms demand this be posted)

Tags: fluff, soft, full squad, end-game spoilers

Word Count: 3,664

With the Netherbrain defeated and everyone cured of the tadpoles, Astarion has to flee from the sun once again. You follow him, of course, so he doesn't have to face the darkness alone. You head to the Underdark to help the vampire spawns find their way in this new world. Watching Astarion help his brothers and sisters warms your heart, reminding you of their freedom and how far he has come. He was once a man who only knew to live one way: deceive others and fight his way through everything. Now, he accepts the role of being a hero and helps out his siblings when he could've left them behind. Of course, his personality stays the same, including his sass and silly jokes in every interaction with them.

The two of you have found a home to call your own, making it comfortable for the time you can spend alone. While there may not be any sun to bask in, you make it comfortable with lanterns and a fireplace to keep you both warm. However, it never seems like quite enough.

_____________________________________________________________

Lately, it seems Astarion has been less of himself, diving into readings and drawings instead of keeping up in conversation. Similar to humans having seasonal depression, it seems this vampire has a similar affliction. He has become a recluse, only coming alive when he's helping out the vampire spawns. You decide to bring it up to him, hoping to find a way to help him out.

"Hey," you say softly, hoping not to disturb him.

"Hello, beautiful." He smiles softly, finally looking away from his book.

"Whatcha drawin'?" You say casually, ensuring he doesn't know what's happening.

"My muse, darling. You." He uses his wicked grin, the one that always knocks the wind out of you. You softly giggle, eyeing his drawings of you.

His attention to detail, including your wrinkles around your mouth and by your eyes. He shades every detail exactly, capturing your essence in picture-perfect form. It's like you're looking into a grayscale mirror.

"Wow, you're incredibly talented. That looks incredible." You're taken aback by his abilities, speechless.

He blushes slightly, as much as a vampire can, "Oh, you're too kind. Now, what did you actually want to talk about?" He says, a little more sternly, as he can see you're holding back.

You sigh, let out a large breath, and look into his striking red eyes, "You seem a little...off. I'm worried about you, is everything okay?"

His eyes drop, and he sets down his book, looking at his hands, "I miss our adventures, our team, and the sun. A part of me wishes we had never gotten rid of those tadpoles. A part of me wishes it had never ended so that we could still be out exploring the world, exploring my home. I guess I didn't realize how much it affected me."

Your eyes well slightly; he has never been able to be this open to anyone before. You know how important it is to take this lightly, and you must comfort him. You wrap your arm around his shoulders and smile softly at him, "I miss it too, but we also got to save a lot of good people. I'd rather be down here, safe, with you than, ya know...growing tentacles and eating brains."

He laughs softly at you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it. "I know you're right; it's just a hard thing to move past...Thank you for talking to me; I love you." He stands up, giving you a peck on the forehead, "I'm going to go gather some things for dinner; I'll be back shortly."

You both smile softly at each other and say, "I love you too." before he heads out. While it helped slightly, you can tell that he is still not 100% back to himself. Then, a lightbulb goes off, and you know exactly what you must do.

______________________________________________________________

You leave him a note so he knows you haven't disappeared forever:

Dearest Astarion,

I will be gone for a short while, but I will be back shortly. I've gone into the city, as someone needed some help retrieving an important item for them. Continue with dinner; this shouldn't take me long. I love you, see you soon.

Yours always,

(Y/N)

You gather some supplies for your trek back to Baldur's Gate, made simple by the Ancient Sigels, and get ready to assemble some people as well.

___________________________________________________________

Your first stop is the Sorcerous Sundries, assuming that's where he might be staking out. Since the end of Lorrokan, the tower has been home to Rolan, but he also wanted to learn more about the weave. What better person to do that with than Gale? He also took over the entire running of the Sundries, ensuring knowledge was accessible to all wizards. As you walk in, a familiar face lights up and runs to you with arms wide open.

As you embrace him, he laughs, "I wasn't sure you'd ever come out of the Underdark without your trusty lover!"

You chuckle, "It's good to see you too, Gale." You back up from him, looking him over in his newest and finest robes.

"You're on a mission, I see. What can I do for you?" Gale says, his voice more matter-of-fact.

You sigh, hoping he will understand what you're getting at, "Astarion hasn't been himself lately. He seems down like he needs a pick-me-up. I hoped to gather everyone to get together and see if that helps. Would you be willing to come to our home for a small party?"

Gale looks inquisitively at you like he's trying to read your mind. Then, he lets out a laugh as he grabs your shoulders, "Of course I'll come! Anything to help an old chum out of a rut. I'll also let Rolan and the tieflings know; it would be great for them to take a break!"

You smile, giving him a firm hug with a bit of a squeeze, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You don't know what else to do, as thanks would never be enough.

You head off to your next destination with a large smile on your face.

____________________________________________________________

One of the few places with a lot of greenery is where two of your Druid friends spend their time: Halsin and Jaheira. When you find them in Bloomridge Park, you see them and Arabella assisting other Druids to become one with nature. They are so focused on the task at hand that they almost don't see you walking up.

"Y/N!!" Arabella shrieks, running to give you a hug around your legs. You bend down to return the favor.

Halsin smiles in your direction, crossing his arm across his chest and smiling towards you. "It is great to see you, friend. It's been a while; glad to see you getting some sun."

"Welcome back," Jaheira says softly, giving you a nod.

"Hello to you all. It's great to see you helping out the younglings," You grin, wondering if you'll be asking too much of them. Taking them away from the younglings seems like a large ask, considering the kids are new to this side of nature. You start to second-guess yourself, wondering what aspects this might have against them.

"You are concerned; let us know what you are thinking," says Jaheira, a fellow look of concern on her face.

"I don't want to take you away from these children; it seems like a bad time to ask something of you." You kick the ground lightly, feeling nervous.

Halsin smiles, looking at you caringly, "Whatever you have to ask, I'm sure it is necessary."

You look up at them all; they have warming smiles on their faces, making you feel better. "Okay, well, Astarion has been feeling a little down lately. I was thinking of ways to make him feel better, so I thought about getting everyone together in the Underdark. It's a lot safer, and Astarion has been working with the vampire spawn to teach them how to take care of themselves properly. Only if you're able to; not a big deal if not." You realize you have rambled on to them and get nervous awaiting their answer.

"YES! Let's go, please, please, please!" Arabella shouts, vibrating with excitement.

Halsin and Jaheira laugh, holding onto her shoulders to try to calm her down. "Of course, we'll be there, Y/N. That is never too much to ask of us." Halsin exclaims, smiling to try to comfort you. Jaheira nods in agreement, a similar smile across her face.

You grab them in a group hug, feeling fulfillment all throughout your body. "Thank you. I appreciate this more than you will ever know." With a final squeeze, you allow them to get back to their hard work.

___________________________________________________________

Your idea is finally coming into fulfillment, adding a skip to your step as you head to Wyrm's Rock Fortress. There are quite a few people you can talk to here, but the chances of them being able to step away is very slim. The first stop is the barracks to chat with the two behind getting the military ready to protect the people. You walk in to see them hard at work, helping the beef up the crew.

"A'right, soldiers, take a moment to recoup before we get back into the training," Karlach states in a stern tone, one you've never heard.

"T'saik, I never rested in my training; you are too soft, Karlach," Lae'zal exclaimed, rolling her eyes at this obviously tense partnership. Karlach gives her a soft punch on the shoulder when she sees you out of the corner.

"No fucking way," she states, running towards you and tackle hugging you. Lae'zal sanders over with the slightest smile on her lips.

"Why are you here?" she asks, some confusion in her voice. It's only suitable; it's been a month since you've seen the surface.

You let out a sigh, feeling their confusion, happiness, and slight sadness. You've been so concerned with helping Astarion that you never thought about how it could affect the others.

"I'm sorry I've been gone so long and that I've come to ask a favor. I should've come and visited earlier; I apologize." You say sheepishly.

"Oh, soldier, don't worry about it. I'm sure you've been just as busy as us." Karlach states, flinging their arm around your shoulders. Lae'zal crosses her arms, looking into your eyes with dismay.

"I still came to visit." She seems a little more cranky than usual, probably since she's here helping people who aren't even Githyanki. Perhaps it's disappointment in her high expectations, or maybe she's worn out from defeating Vlaaketh and rebuilding her home.

"Lae'zal, ease up, will ya?" Karlach says, her eyes a little more piercing than usual. "What do ya need?" She smiles towards you, her arm still on your shoulders.

"I wanted to see if you could come and do a bit of a house party for Astarion. He's been feeling quite depressed since we went to the Underdark, and I think it would cheer him up." You try to sound enthusiastic, but it comes out a bit more pleading than you want.

"Always aiding him when you should be here with us," Lae'zal says through gritted teeth. This statement grants her another intense stare from Karlach, to which she just bears her teeth at her.

Karlach looks back towards you and grins, "We will be there after we finish training. I'm sure they won't mind a night's rest from this one." She points over at Lae'zal, who just rolls her eyes at the gesture. You smile and give Karlach a big hug, which no longer burns since fixing her engine. You glance at Lae'zal, who finally uncrosses her arms and relaxes as much as she can.

"I will be there by no choice of my own." Lae'zal scoffs, a sign that she isn't as upset as she gives off.

"Alright, where's Wyll? He's next on my list." You say, looking around and expecting him to be there. Usually, he is around to help the Blades of Avernus grow and learn how to protect the city.

"Oh, he's downstairs. That's where the Blades practice after he rebuilt the old prison as a training ground." Karlach says before turning back to the trainees. "Break over! Let's get back to it."

As they line up, you head down to what used to be Wyrm's Rock prison. Once you get down the stairs, you take in the new training area. It's fitted with all the best weapons, shields, and armor that Baldur's Gate has to offer. As you look around in awe, you hear Wyll helping the Blades of Avernus gain in ranks.

"Blades, we have a special guest; please give them your respect," Wyll states before you can even process it. All the Blades stand up and give you a sign of respect. You nod towards the soldiers, and Wyll says, "At ease, back to your training."

He turns to you and smiles, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You smile back at him with the same twinge in your stomach that you had when talking to Karlach and Lae'zal. "I'm getting everyone together for a get-together at my home. I was hoping you might be able to come. Astarion is having a hard time, and I think it could cheer him up." You look up at him softly with the same break in your voice.

"You can count on me." He says, saluting you with a grin. "I should be done shortly; I'll head there as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Wyll. I'll see you tonight!" You bounce off, successfully recruiting all your friends for a fun night.

____________________________________________________________

Before heading home, you head to Behive General Goods to gather some goods for tonight. You realize that it's going to be hard to surprise Astarion with all of these people and groceries. It's time for you to add a step to your plan.

You head back to the Underdark, hiding your groceries somewhere Astarion couldn't see them. You then head to Dalyria's home, heading to ask her for help with distracting her 'brother.' You knock on the door, waiting for a response before walking in.

Dalyria opens the door and smiles once she sees your face. "Y/N! Come on in." You walk through the door, returning her smile.

"Hi, Dalyria, I have a favor to ask. Could you possibly distract Astarion for an hour or two? I have a surprise for him." You smile brightly towards her.

"Easily. I'll go over there now! Do you need him to leave the house?" She says kindly, happy to assist obliviously.

"Yes, please! There will be quite a few people. Can you also ask your other siblings to come over a little earlier? You and Petra can come with him when the time comes."

"Yes, I absolutely can do that. Oh, I am so excited. It's been a while since I've had to keep a secret." You instantly know what she means, but try not to let the thought hold you too long.

_____________________________________________________________

Once you see Astarion leave with Dalyria, you grab your hidden groceries and get the party set up. While you don't have to make food for him, you start cooking for your food-eating friends. Along with that, you set up some carafes of wine out on the table. Once you have things finished, you hear familiar voices outside your home. You run up to the door and open it to a crowd of faces that light up your heart. They start pouring in, each with something in their hand. This went from a small party to a much larger gathering than you expected. Thankfully, they brought enough to cover everyone.

You look around as your longest friends mingle with each other, laughing and filling your home with warmth and joy. You can't wait to see how Astarion reacts when he shows up with Dalyria. The vampires come in shortly after everyone arrives and begin mingling with the crowd. Your plan has finally come together and ended up even better than you imagined.

______________________________________________________________

When you see Astarion approaching the house, you shush everyone for his entrance. As he opens the front door, everyone simultaneously shouts, "SURPRISE!" Astarion looks around in absolute shock, taken back by all the kind and familiar faces. He lets out a loud laugh as everyone joins in, surrounding him to say hello. You allow him to mingle around with his long-missed friends to allow him to glow up.

You watch him at a distance, smiling as you see him joking and laughing with everyone. Seeing him return to himself brings you a joy unmatched by anything you've felt since you first met. He looks around, locks eyes with you, mouthing 'I love you' and grinning. You mouth 'I love you more' back to him, winking as you move to mingle with the others. You walk over to the group to listen to the conversations being had.

You listen to adventures retold, new experiences from the point you all split ways, and everything in between. From Gale's tales with Tressym and Rolan to Wyll's expertise with the Blades of Avernus, everything seems to feel back to normal with everyone except Lae'zal. She is recluse, not talking with everyone and keeping to herself. You decide to speak to her privately to see what you can get out of her.

_____________________________________________________________

"Lae'zal, can we speak, please?" You say softly so the others don't hear.

"Tsk'va, why would I want to talk to you? I am only here because of Karlach." She scoffs, crossing her arms like she did at Wyrm's Rock. You sigh softly at her, grabbing her arm to drag her outside. She yelps, but you get her outside before she can throw a fit.

"Let me go, istik." She hisses, yanking her arm away from you. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm here to ask you what is going on. Why are you so angry at me?" You say, crossing your arms to meet her energy.

She rolls her eyes, annoyed at you. "Is it not obvious? You left us for SO long, not even a word or a letter. You could've been dead for all we knew. Then, you come back and ask us to do you this favor when we know you'll just leave again. This will be the last time you see me." She glares at you, keeping the energy she's had the whole time.

You sigh, understanding her frustration and taking it in. She's completely valid in her concerns, but you aren't sure what to say to make her feel better. "You are completely valid in your feelings. I got so encompassed down here that I didn't think about the effects it would have on everyone else. I'm sorry; I truly am. I promise going forward that, I will come up with more. We can plan night events as well to bring Astarion around. I should've done this from the beginning, but I will correct my actions going forth."

Lae'zal takes a deep breath and relaxes her stance more. "If you break this promise, I will never forgive you. I will leave you behind like I have done to many before you. I will accept it...for now." She glances at you and then back inside. You take the hint and follow her back into the party.

______________________________________________________________

When you return, it seems that no one noticed your little skiff outside, and they're still mingling together. You go and grab yourself a drink from the table when a hand all too familiar to yourself rests on your shoulder.

"Thank you, darling," Astarion whispers, kissing you on the cheek gently. You smile at the kiss and turn to him to see his soft smile. "This means so much to me; how did you know I needed it?"

"I know you better than you know yourself. I needed it as well, ya know?" You smile as you rest your hand on his cheek. He rests his face against your hand, closing his eyes to your soft touch. This moment makes you both forget you're in a room full of people. You softly rub his cheek, but your moment is quickly dispelled by hooting and hollering by your friends in the room. Astarion whips back at them, and they immediately silence themselves, sipping their drinks. He bursts into laughter and heads back to the group, winking back at you. You join them, telling stories and gaggling about everything. The night flows into the morning, wrapped in love and friendship for the whole time.

______________________________________________________________

Everyone has left, most helping to clean up and leaving you and Astarion to relax after the long party. He sits on the couch, and you lay next to him, resting your head on his lap. He plays with your hair as you sit in silence, closing your eyes to his touch. You sit in silence for a while, the first in the last few hours. After a while, he breaks the silence in a hushed voice.

"This night is one I won't forget for a while. I didn't realize how long it had been since we had seen everyone. I missed the laughter, the stories, and their presence. Thank you, dear. I will never be able to stop thanking you." He smiles at your calm face, looking at every crevice that he adores.

You open your eyes and smile back at him, looking lovingly in his eyes. "I would do it again, a thousand times over, just to see that lovely smile of yours." You sit up, bringing him into a soft kiss, feeling him smile throughout. Your kiss deepens, filled with passion, love, and thrill. You pull back, resting your forehead against his, both grinning from ear to ear.

"It's nice to have you back."

"It's good to be back, my sweet."

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #baldur's gate 3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 astarion #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanon #hc #x reader #reader insert #astarion x tav

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snowblossomreads · 1 year

Text

Verse Six: So I Gave Myself Over Willingly

Previous Chapter: I Never Knew My Killer Would Be Coming From Within

Summary: In where Severus opens a closed door, and [Y/n] closes it. (Or in where [Y/n] has the chance to escape but doesn't)

Pairing: Severus Snape x FemReader

Tag(s)/Warning(s): Angst (of course), Despair, Manipulation, Breaking Down, Smut [Dub-con/coercion, penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pet names, begging]

Word Count: 12K (it's what you guys deserve)

A/N: Hits post and runs. Jk So that took waaaay longer than expected and I'm sorry 😭😭 Life has been doing some things so it's been tough to write but here we are!! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter though bc it was a tough binch to write because I had to wrap basically everything up in it so sorry if it feels a little discombobulated.. Buckle up though and make sure ur necks are sturdy so you don't get whiplash from this chapter (granted the previous one was more whiplashy i think, sorry?). But still, enjoy and I'll see you at the end!

A/N+: AND I know I said I would throw the last two chapters up at once but I lied 😅😅🤣 you guys have waited too long and deserve something so here you go!

MINORS DNI

Something had changed after that night.

After spending all her time existing within the four walls of the room she had been stored in since she was taken, [Y/n] was now being allowed to take her meals in the kitchen. Still being supervised of course but nonetheless, she was out of that room even if only for a little while.

Snape had also given her permission to stay in the living room while he was there and at first, she had refused and made a hasty retreat back into the room unnerved by his presence.

Yet he was persistent, repeatedly asking her until she relented and found herself just sitting quietly on the sofa near him as he read or worked in that tall wingback chair of his.

Additionally, he had bought her some new clothes to wear only a few days after that incident saying a change of clothing may make her feel better. Considering that she only had the clothes that were on her back when she came it would have made sense.

Maybe it would make her feel better in the dizzying situation she was in. But it didn’t. Especially when each article of clothing fit her just right. It only made her more anxious, more nauseated.

The change of his demeanor towards her was absolutely bizarre, frightening in a way that she couldn’t put a finger on. Not only did he take her hostage and then force her into deprave acts, but now he was being pleasant, even kind to her like he didn’t do those fucked up things to her.

And it hadn’t sat well with her, this inexplicable shift, and it caused her stomach to tighten in discomfort, a pang of nausea washing over her each time she awoke. Yet as the uncountable days started to pass and the strange sort of pleasantry became familiar, expected almost, she found that her already exhausted psyche was becoming more confused.

It became worse as he began to allow her to leave that room of her own accord. Granted she knew he was watching, and if not him then Wormtail was. She was at least thankful that she had hardly seen that particular man around since the earlier encounter with him.

But even with that she still felt frightened at her situation. Who wouldn’t be knowing that they had nowhere else to go? Trapped with a person who seemed to have two sides to them and was seemingly manipulating everyone around them.

Herself included.

These thoughts of fear and wariness swirled in the depths of her mind every single day that she had been there and it was absolutely exhausting.

So it was when he brought up going outside with him at the kitchen table where they sat, him reading the Daily Prophet while she picked at her breakfast, that she couldn’t help but be stunned into silence. Though it wasn’t as if she was talkative in the first place with him.

“I’m going into a muggle village today for some items.”

“Oh.”

Head tilted downwards, she barely acknowledged what he had said as her eyes gazed blankly at the food in her bowl while she swirled it absentmindedly with her spoon. Why would she care that he would be gone? All it meant was that she would be locked up again within the four walls of that room.

“Would you like to accompany me?”

The circular motion of the spoon stopped immediately at his words and for a split second so did her breathing. Accompany him outside? What kind of sick game was he playing at? To dangle such an offer out to her knowing to be outside and free was the only thing she had wanted since she had been there.

To offer such a thing only for it to probably be snatched away the moment she answered in the affirmative. It was cruel. But what more could she expect from him? Her silence had Snape peering over the paper in his hand one eyebrow raised as he studied her frozen form.

“Or would you prefer to be kept here?”

Yet, even those thoughts of him toying with her couldn’t stop the outburst that left her in a panic when he interrupted her spiraling.

“No!”

Head shooting up from its bowed position, [Y/n] watched as his eyebrows quirked up at her and the uncharacteristically lively way she had answered. And if she could see behind the paper that was partially obscuring his face, she would have seen thin lips drawn up into a minuscule smirk.

Warmth prickled at her skin as she dropped her head back down, trying to avoid his examining gaze that she could still feel on her. It almost made her wish that she was still in that room because the crawling sensation he made her feel was unbearable at times. This being one of those times

“No, I meant I would like to come,” she began while gingerly dragging her fingers up and down her thighs trying to soothe herself before more quietly adding, “it’s been a while.”

Falling silent after giving him an answer, the only sound between them was him turning the page of the newspaper causing it to rustle, and the white noise that she had become all too used to in this place.

Moments passed in that silence and each one had her stomach tightening, her heart dropping and fingers digging into her legs as the chance of going outside seemed to grow further and further away each second he didn’t acquiesce. Who was she playing though? Did she really think he would let her accompany him outside? Truly-

“If that’s so,” he muttered looking at her barely touched bowl of food, “I advise you to hurry along with your meal. We leave in ten minutes and I expect you’ll need all of your strength.��

Looking up and going to meet his gaze, [Y/n] was only met with the moving pictures on the front page of the newspaper before going to stare down at her food. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been actually hungry as her diet consisted mostly of fear that left her unwilling to eat.

But with the promise of going outside, and maybe, just maybe having a chance of freeing herself, she forced herself to eat the meal that was empty of taste and warmth.

It had taken her almost the full ten minutes to finish her food, and Snape had no problem inserting a remark here or there as time ticked closer.

‘Hm, to think the promise of a walk outside was all you needed to be more responsive. How quaint.’

‘I’m almost done with this page and I would hurry if I were you.’

And as much as it would rattle her when he vaguely threatened to take away that chance of freedom, it had worked because the moment he closed the newspaper, she was staring at him, bowl empty and eyes pleading.

“Well then,” he said, placing the paper down, getting up, and walking beside her seated form before looking down at her. “Shall we?

The moment she felt the warm breeze fluttering across her face, [Y/n] felt a tight ball of emotion begin to work its way up from her stomach before it sat heavily in her chest.

Tears that she had thought were long shed attempted to prick at her eyes again as even in the gloominess of wherever this house was, she could still see that there were trees that had bright greenery adorning them.

Greenery that had not been on any plant the last time she had been outside. How long had passed since she had been gone? After the first few weeks, she could barely keep up with time as it had been the least worrying thing on her mind.

“Now,” Snape’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she flinched when she felt his fingers tightly enveloping her wrist. Looking up at him she was met with a raised brow. “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you but for your sake know that any funny business will get you nowhere. Understand?”

Funny business? And if she attempted any of that, what would he do? Kill her in front of all the muggles? Surely even he couldn’t obliviate all those people if he wanted to and even so he wasn’t at all stupid to cause a scene.

No, that would be too simple, and with the glint in his dark eyes, [Y/n] could tell that it indeed would not be the case. So she couldn’t help but nod in agreement, a timid,

“Yes,” leaving her as even in the warm air a chill seemed to run down her spine at the look he gave her. Something told her a quick death would not be in store for her if she did try to do anything.

Seemingly pleased by that answer, he pulled her with him into the alleyway that divided the two buildings, not paying attention to the way she stumbled behind him before stopping in place. It almost caused her to bump into him yet he didn’t seem at all phased as he glanced around the area for any other sight of life.

“Hold on tight.”

His words were the last thing she heard before a squeak fell from her lips as he dropped her hand from his hold only to wrap his arms tightly around her.

Head snapping up to look at him she felt a wave of nausea replace the feeling in her stomach as the sound of wind shrilled in her ear and her body felt as if it was being squeezed tightly.

The vision of trees, the sky, and muggle machines passed by her in a whirlwind before a barely audible pop rang in her ear and they were standing upright again on solid ground.

Feeling his arms release her, [Y/n] made a step forward before a wave of nausea had her stumbling a bit.

‘Perks of not apparating for a long time.’

She thought to herself as her hand flew blindly to the side to grab onto the wall to keep herself from falling flat onto the ground. But instead of meeting the hard stone of the ground, she felt an arm wrap around her waist pulling her back gently.

“Tsk, steady you silly thing,” Snape murmured as his hand drifted to her lower back causing a shiver to climb up her spine at his firm touch.

“I’m fine.” She lied, gulping down the uneasy feeling bubbling in her stomach and turning back to look at him. For a moment when her eyes laid on him, she swore she saw an amused smile tug at his lip before it fell.

Letting her go, he watched her take another step forward, less unsteady this time and more grounded.

“Thank you.” Her words of gratitude held hesitation and he merely shrugged before walking past her not even looking to see if she would follow.

“Mhm, come along then.”

Watching his back face her she began to follow in his footsteps not once even thinking to turn the other direction or apparate herself away from the place mind still hung on his words from earlier.

Venturing out of the alleyway they apparated into and blending in with the muggles, she followed him silently toward the many stands that lined the area.

It was lively. Crowded with muggles of all ages as they spoke to the sellers behind tables or stands while looking at the different wares that were being sold and trading banter amongst each other.

The noise of the conversations in the area had her wincing a bit, her senses no longer used to so much racket as it had been forever since there had been so many people around her.

She wondered, just briefly as they stopped in front of a stand selling a variety of produce and herbs, what they would do if they knew that a witch and wizard were only feet from them.

Buying items just as they would acting as if this was an everyday occurrence for them even though it was not. Because it wasn’t every day someone's captor willingly brought them out.

Eyeing him for a second, [Y/n] began to look around the area. Taking in the sights and people silently as Snape droned on to the merchant standing at the stall.

Everyone there seemed to be so happy, exuberant in the sunlight that was pounding down on them as they went about their business. Children playing around as parents tried to corral them together. Teenagers hanging out with others speaking loudly and laughing.

There was a joyful mood all around her. Yet she felt none of that joy while scanning the horizon. Even when her eyes landed on a figure standing on the far opposite of the stall they were at.

Hands placed in their pocket as they watched over the people going and coming. The person looked most out of place with how stiff and uncomfortable they were.

It was written all over their body how they didn’t seem to know how to act around all the people. Additionally, the clothes they wore didn’t match any of the muggle styles that the other people had on. No, it was more something a witch or wizard would wear thinking muggles would wear the same.

And it was the same mistake that a lot of the trainees made during her time in Auror training. Failing to disguise oneself probably. All that to say the person she was staring at and who was currently failing their training was an Auror.

Not a full fledged Auror no. But one in training at least and probably currently working on their concealment and disguise ability considering how easy it was to spot how out of place they were.

That also meant that a real Auror, one that she may have worked with before or known, was here. Watching the student and also paying attention to their surroundings.

Knowing that, it was as if her brain had suddenly snapped back on, words written almost in big red letters scrawled across her mind telling her to:

Run.

She could do it if she truly wanted to. Escape. Make a scene and attract the Auror's attention. She didn’t have to stay with the man who at the moment was paying no mind to her.

Yes, if she could just get the attention of the trainee somehow without Snape noticing her she would be free! Her heart raced at the thought. Eyes almost welling up with tears yet doing her best to tamp down any emotion that would bring his attention to her.

Scanning the area she tried to determine who was who if there was at least a friend in the area that she had not seen and vice versa. Of course, she didn’t think it would be easy looking for a trained Auror who would be perfectly disguised yet as she looked and searched she saw nothing.

Saw no one looking at her or paying her any mind. No, everyone continued to go on their way enjoying their time out as they passed by happy and unaware that danger lurked around the corner.

And then a thought hit her square in the face. If she ran, if she made a scene. What would happen to the muggles around her? Surely Snape was not going to just let her go. She wasn’t naive to believe that considering if she was found he would be receiving a one way ticket to Azkaban.

No, he would make sure she didn’t leave here alive regardless of any of the muggles around. What were a few muggle lives to avoid being sent to probably one of the worst places a witch or wizard could go? As that thought came another reared its head. What would happen to her if she got away?

There was no doubt in her mind she would be brought back to the Ministry and questioned about all she had seen and all that happened. But what then?

Let her go and go on about her life?

Go home?

To an empty house that had death soaked into its walls and floor?

What about the large target on her back she was sure she would have the moment she ran for it? Even if she was lucky and escaped, she would have to hide from Death Eaters until a day when they were no longer a threat.

Sure she could have other Aurors around her protection, or maybe stay at the Ministry for an indefinite time until it was safe but when would that happen? What made her so sure that any of the Aurors could protect her even if they tried? She had seen how the Death Eaters wiped out her team with ease so how would just a few Aurors work against them?

And if she stayed at the Ministry what would happen if You-Know-Who got the reign of terror he wanted? It would have all been for nothing.

These thoughts bounced in her brain over and over spinning tangled webs of scenarios of how her running would turn out. And the frightening part was that they all seemed to lead down a road of living in despair, fear, and every so often death.

“[Y/n]?”

Having been drowning in those thoughts, she hadn’t recognized her name being called, eyes glazed over as she stared at the spot where the Auror to be once stood.

But they were no longer occupying that spot, no longer close enough to see and she had realized at that moment she had missed her chance. Missed her way to freedom that had been so close yet held away from it by a fear that had seemed to come from nowhere.

“[Y/n].”

The firmness in his voice along with feeling his hand landing on her lower back jolted her out of her trance, her eyes landing on him as tears pricked at her eyes.

“Yes?” She whispered, the fire and adrenaline of seemingly almost free leaving her and being replaced with a hollowed out feeling that made her feel almost ill.

“You seemed tired,” he started, eyebrow raised as he examined her features, no doubt seeing how glassy her eyes were, “I think that is enough, no?”

For a moment there was a silence between them that seemed to suck all the noise around them away before she answered him.

“Yes…I think so too.”

The hand that he had placed on her back slipped down and away from her before she felt his digits brush her limp ones. A sense of unease usually filled her whenever he touched her like this, yet now she felt nothing.

Instead, she made no effort to pull away like usual when he went to envelop her trembling hand with his own steady and firm grip allowing him to guide them back to the alleyway they had arrived from and apparating back to his home.

When they returned, the rest of the day had been spent in a silence that was normal for them now. But they both knew another change had occurred. One that she didn’t want to acknowledge as it would make it real, and one he didn’t want to force out of her because well, there was no gain in that.

So when she was summoned from her room after skittering back into it almost voluntarily when they returned, Snape couldn’t help but truly examine her slumped form as she entered the kitchen. The longer she had been holed up in this place, the more her body language showed how physically tired she was.

Dark circles had long painted themselves under her eyes from the tormenting nightmares that stayed with her from morning to night. Not even in her dreaming, where one should be able to at least forget what the day brought, had she been safe from his entrapment as she had found out quickly enough.

Yet he still could tell that even through all of it, that there had been a fighting spirit in her. A defiance that burned and a naive hope that she would get out of the situation that she had landed herself in.

But this weariness she showed to him at the moment seemed different. There was no light in her eyes. No amount of defiance radiated from her as she quietly sat across from him, not even acknowledging the food in front of her.

There was nothing. Just her and him in a world that probably no longer acknowledged that she had been a part of it. Not when she had been missing for so long without as much of a trace of where she had gone to.

Not that the Ministry would ever find one that is.

It was Snape that broke the silence between them just as he had done that morning, eyes squarely on her as she finally began to pick at her food.

“I hope that I can bring you out again.”

A simple statement that needed no responding to. Not that he was expecting one from her as she mindlessly brought a spoonful of food to her mouth.

“I don’t care for it but it seems to do you well.”

He continued, bringing his cup up towards his lips to drink from while just taking in the sight of her sagging shoulders and how her eyes stared pointedly at the bowl in front of her.

“Why didn’t you try to run?”

That finally seemed to have captured her attention as her hand froze midway through scooping up the food in her bowl. For a moment she stayed that way not looking up at him, eyes still glued on the meal in front of her.

Not one to enjoy repeating himself, he waited, giving her time to fill the silence with her answer.

“What do you mean?”

Her voice was barely above a whisper as she kept her face low while the grip on her spoon tightened.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” he sneered, tone laced with annoyance yet devoid of any real malice towards her as he continued. “Do you not think I know an Auror when I see one? You all are hardly as inconspicuous as you try to make yourself be.”

Silence blanketed them again but this time there was a tension in it like a tightly wound knot that was about to unravel or an invisible crackle in the air that only needed a spark to ignite. And the spark came with his next words.

“You had your chance yet here you are still,” Snape pointed out eyes still on her, “surely a mind as brilliant as yours knows why.”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t…know?”

There was an incredulous quality in his tone as he repeated the weak response that she had given.

“Is that all…you don’t know?” He asked, watching as her sagging shoulders tensed up as she placed the spoon that she had held so tightly down.

“Maybe,” she murmured almost inaudibly, lifting her head revealing a pointed glare at him while trying to hold in the tears that had been burning in her eyes since they had returned. “Maybe it was because I was worried about the muggles that were there who might get hurt if something happened,” she answered, voice shaking yet gaining in volume.

“Or maybe it’s because if I ran, and managed to escape somehow I wouldn’t even be able to sleep, wouldn’t be able to live because I’m scared some Death Eater is going to come barreling through my door trying to kill me like they did my parents and brother!”

A shrill tone had seeped its way into her voice as [Y/n] suddenly shot up from her chair, knocking it backward with a loud clatter that she ignored as she stomped over to him. Unflinchingly, he watched her approach him, his expression neutral as he watched a range of emotions twist her features before it stopped at one.

Despair.

Slamming her hands on the edge of the table causing the dinnerware to shake she stood over him, tears beginning to stream down her face. “Or is it,” her breath hitched, “i-is it because I know when I go home, there will be no one? Absolutely no one there. Because of me.”

“Does that make you happy?” She shouted her voice cracking from the intensity as her body trembled with the grief that she had been carrying for months at that point.

Refusing to wipe the tears out of her eyes she stared at him with her blurred vision. His expression was fixed the entire time she had been screaming at him, unaffected by her cries and tears and it wasn’t unexpected. There was no twitch of his lips, no raise of a brow like he would usually have done.

Nothing.

He just sat there cold and distant as she broke into a million pieces in front of him. It shouldn’t have hurt her so much yet she couldn’t help the sudden weakness that seized hold of her limbs. Weighing her down as any strength from her was sapped.

“Is that what you wanted to hear me say?” She whispered before her shaking legs gave out causing her to collapse on the floor in a weeping pile. Hands coming up to bury her face in them as sob after choked sob was pulled out from her while she trembled and cried.

“My family,” she rasped, her voice loud and raw filled with the agony that maybe if she had been more careful all of this would have never happened and her family and friends would have been still alive. Gasping for air, she tried to speak yet it was too much, all of it was just too much.

Instead of words, a cry left her lips that was immensely piercing as she lunged forward, arms wrapping around herself as she wept. It had been so ear-splitting that it covered the sound of Snape’s chair scraping against the ground before he was next to her on the floor.

Arms finding their place around [Y/n] he dragged her close to him in an embrace as his hand began to stroke circles on her lower back. Yet as comforting as embraces were supposed to be, this one only had her sobbing louder as she stayed in his arms too tired and distraught to try and fight him away.

“Why, why did this have to happen,” she gasped out trying to claw back as much air into her lungs as she could, “if I- if I would have just died that day they-they-.”

Unable to finish her thought as her mind swirled over and over with guilt about everything that had happened, another noisy cry left her body as she sunk completely into his embrace no longer caring that he was holding her.

It was all just too much.

“Shh enough of that now.” Snape hummed as she shuddered with each shaky breath she took trying to regain some control over her emotions.

Cooing at her, he continued to rub small circles on her lower back as if trying to comfort her, his voice low and silky as he whispered in her ear. “There was nothing you could have done to save your family [Y/n] you did your best. ”

Had she been thinking clearly and not being strangled with the unrelenting thoughts of her failures, she would have cursed at him, hit him, and pushed him away yet all she did was continue to cry as she listened to him speak.

“But even though they are no more,” he murmured softly, his lips ghosting against her ear causing her breath to become more uneven and her skin to prickle, “I would think they would prefer their daughter to be in capable hands, no? Someone who could take care of you and keep you from the same harm that came upon them,” he continued, lips caressing over the juncture of her neck as he spoke. “It would make them happy, wouldn’t it? And you’ve always done what you could to make them happy right?”

Pausing his speech, he pulled away to look at her yet her eyes stayed lowered as her mind reeled with the implications of his words. Without him, she would be alone having been her only contact with the world for a while not including today.

Though even when she was out there she had felt utterly alone even when surrounded by those people. Even when she could have escaped, her thoughts always seemed to have ended back to Snape. Whether it be what he would do to others or what he would do to her to make her stay.

So if she escaped, she would be in danger for an undetermined amount of time. But if she stayed at least she would be safe from the wrath of any Death Eater. He had also been kinder to her recently as if trying to wipe the memories of earlier on away. It was strange but it had been welcomed even if she had been on edge about it.

But fighting him all this time didn’t work, it was never going to work and she knew that from the moment she was given to him and he refused to let her go. And she was utterly exhausted, waking up every day with little to no autonomy along with the fear of him just getting tired of her resistance and outright killing her once his patient facade ran out.

So it was okay, right? Okay, for her to accept it, to ease the suffering that was crushing her heart, suffocating her, and clouding her mind every day. Okay to do something to avoid the pain the future would no doubt bring if she didn’t accept it. Right?

You don’t have to fight anymore. Just stay.

Dimmed eyes finally turned to look at him, tears still clinging to her eyelids as she gazed up at the concerned expression that he wore. That was a first. To see any other look from him other than contempt, or just pure uninterest.

“Y-you, won’t let them hurt me?” She stuttered out, looking into his dark eyes that seemed to dig into her mind as she bargained with herself.

With a shake of his head, he leaned down slightly closing some distance between them before bringing a hand up to caress her tear-stained cheek softly.

It was almost lovingly the way the back of his palm slid against her skin. Slowly, with no haste in his movement which caused a shiver to crawl up her spine and a knot to begin to grow in her stomach as he captured her attention with his words and actions.

“Never,” his voice was no louder than a murmur, it was deep, and dark as it vibrated inside her while his lips neared her ear. “No witch or wizard will ever be able to hurt you [Y/n],” he whispered, causing her breath to hitch at his closeness, at the way his voice seemed to seep deeper into her causing something in her body to awaken. “Let me keep you safe, isn’t that what you wanted all this time? To be safe?”

Safe.

She had hardly known what that felt like for so long. To be safe. To not wake up and fall asleep worried about what would happen to her. To not have to consider what would happen to her if she did run away.

No, if she stayed put at least she would have some idea of what was to come for her. At least in this hell, she knew the devil who ruled it, and what he wanted from her.

If he had wanted to kill her, he would have done that months, weeks, or days ago. He had every chance to. However, here she was with his arms wrapped around her, body pressed against hers, and what seemed to be a sincere look on his face.

One that lulled her into a stillness, had her shoulders slumping and had the last drops of tears being blinked away. As inaudible as the way her resolve shattered in front of them, it was the same as the word that fell quietly from her lips.

“Okay.”

It was so hushed that had he not been close to her, had there been any other noise right before she spoke neither of them would have heard it.

Her voice was unrecognizable to herself as she gazed up at him, the realization of her signing away her freedom to him long buried in the depth of her mind. Because what was signing something away that you didn’t have in the first place?

“I’ll stay, I won’t try to run or leave again,” [Y/n] whimpered, as she searched his face for any sign of understanding, “ so please just, just…”

Her words trailed off as her mind replayed his vile words to her in the beginning. The assaults, the sleeplessness, and invading of her own mind to twist it and doubt the feelings she had. Yet somehow all of that began to be clouded over with a strange relief.

Relief born out of knowing that by accepting to stay she would never have to face that again. Never have to face danger again. Just stay and exist.

The thought itself was pleasant. Something she had wanted even if this was not the way she thought she would get it.

As if he could understand her without words, Snape simply nodded.

He went to stroke her cheek once more while the arm already wrapped around her drew her closer to him in a firm and protective grip. Warmth radiated from their bodies as they sat near each other, [Y/n] almost on his lap as she clinged to him like a sort of lifeline.

A sight to behold for both of them if they saw it from another view, as Snape leaned his head down towards her, his lips skimming against her forehead ghosting over the skin before hovering just inches away from hers.

There was a tremble in her, yet she didn’t pull away, didn’t try to rip herself from him in disgust and realization. Instead, her fingers tightened their grip on his shirt as she swallowed before tilting her head up just enough that their lips brushed against each other.

Her movement was all it took before Snape was pressing his lips lightly against hers. Sealing their pact as he dropped the hand from her cheek and took hold of her with both arms.

Their bodies were crushed together as a soft mewl caught in [Y/n] throat at the sensation of being held so tightly and protectively.

Being kissed so lightly yet feeling a furious undercurrent right beneath it that took her breath away as her eyes fell close and she allowed herself to be pulled into his desires.

“Let me keep you safe.”

Words husked out as she looked at Snape with lidded eyes and swollen lips as he pulled away from her. Mind in a haze, she nodded at him and watched as he stood.

And for a moment he hovered over her, eyes raking over her disheveled form that was practically laid out in front of him before going to help her up. Wobbly on her feet, she let him guide her out of the kitchen, past the living room, and up the stairs.

Her eyes never left his form, as she trailed behind him. Their fingers entwined as they passed the room that she had reluctantly called hers for all this time.

Its door stood open, light filtering in yet she paid no heed to it as they went past it. No, there was no light where she was going as they went deeper down the hallway before Snape was opening the door to another room.

His own.

Had she had time she would have observed all that was around her. From the items placed on shelves to the stack of chests that sat in the corner of the room.

But there was none as when they passed the threshold of the door, she was immediately being spun around to face him. His hands reached down, tugging at the hem of her skirt yanking it and her underwear off with little resistance from [Y/n] who made no move to stop him.

Next was the blouse that he had brought to her a number of days ago. That and her bra were unceremoniously torn off her and discarded somewhere to the side causing her to shiver at the sudden cold air that kissed her skin.

The discomfort was suddenly forgotten as she felt herself being engulfed in his arms, his lips finding the spot on her neck and a hand cupping her ass squeezing harshly and causing a low whimper to leave her.

Slowly he walked them back, his mouth sucking and kissing at her bare skin as heat corded in her stomach from the way he squeezed and caressed her behind.

With each step he took forward, she moved backward and before long, a surprised sound left her throat when the back of her legs hit the bed and she found herself tumbling onto the soft sheets and plush mattress that was his bed.

For a second she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by his scent that lingered on his bedspread. It was dark, intoxicating, and oddly sensual as she lay upon the silky sheets that felt so good against her skin.

If she could stay there forever, she probably would as she never felt so immensely drawn to something so suddenly. Slowly she dragged herself further up the bed so that she was basically laying right in the middle of it.

Peeking up at him with lidded eyes, dark eyes glittered when they met her own unsure ones, holding her attention as he began to shed his clothing. First, the frock coat was tossed to the ground, then the cravat that was nestled comfortably around his neck fell on top of it.

The white button up dress shirt underneath came next, leaving his upper body bare as his digits began to slowly move down to his trousers.

It was as if she was hypnotized as she watched him, his fingers brushing against the impression of his arousal. Stroking it languidly as he watched her stare at him.

Her breath picked up slightly and her core throbbed when he began to unbutton himself and [Y/n] couldn’t stop her thighs from clenching together.

Her body, already excited from his touches and kisses, was becoming even more aroused at the sight in front of her and what was to come. But she couldn't stop the way her eyes snapped close and how she turned her head away from him as he began to remove his trousers.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen his cock before. He had used her mouth more than once for his pleasure and her torture. Even fucked her in her dreams.

However, all she could do now was listen to the sound of him shuffling his clothes off, a quiet groan filling the room before she felt the bed dip beneath her, and sensed his body hovering over hers.

“Open your eyes,” he hummed, taking her chin gingerly into his hands and turning her so she was facing him.

She couldn’t, even if she wanted to open them she couldn’t as it felt like there were weights holding them close. And had it been any other time before this, he would have probably forced them open to look at what he was doing to her body.

Make her watch as he unraveled her knowing where exactly to touch and kiss to have her mind and body dueling each other for control. But he didn’t.

Instead, he leaned down and pressed feathery kisses against her closed eyelids. Trailing down to take her lips in a brief kiss before he began to suck at her neck. A sigh escaped [Y/n] as he began to kiss and suck love marks into her skin that would no doubt be bruised the next day.

The vision of her body being littered with marks from him made him groan into her skin as he felt his arousal become harder at the thought.

Lips pressed against her neck one last time, he began to pepper hot kisses down her throat, sucking and licking all the way down until he reached the swell of her breast. Watching as her chest moved up and down with each shaky breath, Snape kissed her warm skin once more before looking up at her.

“[Y/n] open your eyes.” He commanded in that soft, yet domineering tone of his that had her eyes squeezing tighter and her fingers gripping the sheets underneath her.

A whimper fell from her as she shook her head from side to side. No matter how much she tried, it just felt like her eyelids were glued shut not wanting to open and experience what was happening. She just couldn’t open them and maybe it was because somewhere in the back of her mind she was still holding out. Holding to some resistance that did not want to let go.

“I-I can’t.”

Expecting him to lose his patience with her, and preparing for the cruel man she had first met to come alive again she tensed as she felt him blow warm air against her nipples. In an instant, they tightened from the sensation and the temperature change causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

His digits trailed up her body leaving a tingling sensation in its trail before he was cupping the round velvety flesh in his hands. Squeezing it between his digits before massaging the skin and leaving kisses all around it.

“Very well.”

For a moment there was just stillness. Only the sound of their breaths mingled in the air as his fingers flicked at the hardened buds, rolling them in between each digit and pulling the sensitive flesh.

A moan caught in her throat as the sensation had her heart feeling as if it would burst out of her chest while the feeling of want intensified in her stomach and had her throbbing. Over and over he rolled them causing her to sigh and arch until,

“Ah!”

Eyes snapping open at the sharp pain that suddenly shocked her body replacing the pleasure that was coursing through her, a cry of surprise clawed itself out from her throat as she felt his teeth sink into her soft flesh.

Craning her head to look at him, she was met with glittering eyes staring back at her shocked expression before the groan of pain died down to a whine as he began to suck at the tender flesh.

His gaze was trained on her as his tongue swirled around the aching skin in an attempt to soothe the pain as his fingers rolled and pulled at her other nipple.

With every suck, and pinch he watched her reactions, the way her eyes became lidded again, how she bit her bottom lip to keep a moan at bay. How she stared at him like she was caught in her own trance unable to break away from the pleasure that was churning in her body from his actions.

“Good girl.”

His praise came out as a growl, low, and guttural, causing the vibrations from it to sink into her skin, bury themselves into her bones and run up her spine as he continued to worship her soft chest.

Broken whimpers and sighs formed and spilled from her lips as he moved to play with her other breast, giving it the same treatment as the other but this time only scraping the nipple with his teeth before taking it between his lips and sucking at it harshly.

Feeling the hand that had found hold on her waist earlier begin to travel down her body, [Y/n] sucked in a harsh breath, stilling as his fingers stroked her lower stomach before slowly making their way in between her spread thighs that quivered.

Massaging the fleshy skin of her inner thigh, he squeezed the area lightly, while continuing to nibble at her hardened buds. Moving from one to the other making sure they were both tended to as his hand continued its journey upward before it was finally cupping her soaked opening.

“Mmph!”

Feeling the palm of his hand come into contact with her entrance had her moaning out, her hips bucking down in his hold involuntarily as he began to grind his hand against her.

Moan after strangled moan left her throat as she rolled her hips, mind forgetting about any sort of resistance she tried to hold on to as the pulsing in her cunt grew stronger with each press of her hips towards his palm.

Everything felt so dizzying and intoxicating and it only worsened as he released her sore and swollen nipple from his lips. A smirk grew on his expression as he leaned up to capture her bottom lip sucking at it before pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.

Tongue swiping at her lips, Snape wasted no time and removed the palm of his hand from her cunt, causing a whine to leave her and her hips to jerk, already missing his touch.

But it was only for a second as a high pitch sound left her lips, parting them open and giving him entrance to her as his fingers began to rub her already sensitive clit which had begun to throb as soon as she started to grind against his hand.

Pressing his fingers against her pearl, he began to rub harsh tight circles against it as he continued kissing her and drinking in her moans. His tongue encircling hers, stroked and teased it before he felt her shyly begin to move her own tongue against his.

Her actions had him groaning into her mouth pressing down further into her and, stealing almost all the will he had not to ravage her body right then as she began to finally accept him.

Tongue swirling around his, licking it, tasting him, and exploring just as he was doing to her, [Y/n] couldn’t help but sigh from his touch and his kiss.

For a moment he let her have her fun, let her do some teasing before he began to bully her curious little appendage into submission and exploring the rest of her waiting mouth as she melted underneath him.

Her body loosened completely to him as her eyes fluttered closed and her mind only thought of the pleasure his mouth and hands were bringing her.

Each press into her clit had her moaning into him, legs tensing and stomach clenching while her cunt ached and fluttered around nothing. Waiting and wanting for something to fill it up to soothe the throbbing that had become incessant.

He held her there for what felt like an eternity, kissing and stroking her, cording her pleasure tighter and tighter. Making her moan louder into his mouth and grind her wetness against him as she gave him what he had been looking for.

And as the throbbing in her lower body became stronger, singling that she was reaching her end, she couldn’t help the sob that was ripped from her as he suddenly pulled his fingers away.

“Becoming needy now aren’t we?” He teased, pulling away from her lips and taking in her quivering form beneath him as a whimper broke free from her.

Wide eyes and dilated pupils stared back up at him with desire and need burning in them as her lips, swollen and wet from the heated kisses he had placed on them, trembled.

Leaning down and pressing his lips against her cheek in a gentle kiss, he began to move down on her body. Leaving kisses down her chest and stomach until he settled between her legs, eyes landing on her swollen opening that glistened with her juices that almost seemed to be dripping out of her.

It made his stomach burn, and his cock throb as he took in the sight of what his teasing had done to her. His eyes stayed fixated on her opening, how it seemed to clench and unclench looking for something to fill the void that was there.

The sight was utterly vulgar and utterly delicious as he licked his thin lips, fingers going to spread her open filling the air with a wet sticky noise and her moans as he exposed her.

Just staring at her wet entrance had him thinking about all the ways he could fill her up. With his tongue, fingers, cock. Oh yes, he would show her. Show her how good it felt, how good it could have always felt if she had just let it. A groan broke free from him just thinking about all the ways he would have her.

“P-please.” Her voice, tiny and unsure, jolted him out of his thoughts as he felt her fingers brush against his hand causing him to look at the bashful expression on her face. “Please don’t stare like that.”

It was a request that was so innocent sounding, so shy and nothing like what he ever thought he would hear from her. Well, that wasn’t all true, it was something he never thought he would hear so soon. But it was asked so sweetly that he couldn’t help but to agree.

"Of course,” he murmured as she saw a glint cross his eyes, “why stare when I can just have a taste?”

Not having a second to react to his words, a broken shriek of,

“Oh my god!”

Tore through the air as he pressed his face against her opening, tongue darting into her as he collected beads of her wetness while his fingers held her open for him.

Each swirl of his tongue inside her has her gripping the sheets, moaning and grinding her hips against his face in an attempt to feel him deeper inside.

Harsh puffs of air push out of her lungs as the slick sounds of him licking and sucking her mingle around with groans that she no longer could pinpoint to either one of them.

It was debauched. The way she was letting him consume her body and mind when she had tried to fend that exact thing off from the beginning. But she couldn’t stop, not when he was making her feel so good that she could hardly breathe. Not with the way he was making her body throb and want more from him.

A louder moan broke through her barging, hips arching up as the sudden intrusion of his digits sliding into her alongside his tongue had her crying out. Each thrust was met with a lap from his tongue as he drank the juices that she was spilling out.

“Mmm so wet [Y/n],” he groaned out, voice muffled as he pressed his lips against her folds sucking at them and licking up the juices that his fingers were pulling from her, “delicious little thing you are with those pretty sounds.”

Any sentence or word that she tried to form in her mind would undoubtedly have made no sense as all she could think about was what his tongue and fingers were doing to her.

How he was stretching and milking her cunt with talented fingers and causing the burning in her belly to become so strong that it was almost painful from the pleasure that was rapidly building in her.

She was so close and she needed this. Needed the release that he had been building up inside her. Needed the coil inside her to snap as she felt his fingers begin to travel up. She needed it, needed him.

As if he could hear her thoughts, he gave her a taste of what she wanted. His tongue and fingers began plugging deeper inside her causing an elongated moan to leave her lips. His fingers moved at a rapid pace as he stroked the spongy spot deep inside her while lapping at her causing loud squelching sounds of her wetness to fill the air.

Not only that, he had pressed his entire face against her core causing the ridge of his nose to nuzzle her clit. Massaging and pressing against it in tandem with the thrust of his fingers inside of her.

“Ah!”

Her entire body trembled as she clenched her hand into a fist, nails digging into her palms that would no doubt have crescent-shaped imprints in them when all was done.

Telltale signs of her approaching orgasm began to wash over her as her cunt sucked his fingers in squeezing them and her clit throbbed with each nuzzle against it.

Each thrust of his tongue and finger had her moans becoming higher and higher in pitch until all she could think about was the searing pleasure burning in her belly.

Her chest began to heave rapidly just as rapidly as the way he was plundering her body and soaking them both with her wetness. Feeling the cord in her belly tighten and tighten and her body trembling her lips fell open a loud moan about to escape before it morphed in a sudden and choked out,

“No!”

It was a desperate almost animalistic sound that left her throat as Snape suddenly pulled away from her. His fingers and tongue slipped out and away from her soaked cunt that was twitching uncontrollably and her clit that was swollen and throbbing.

Tears that seemed to have come from nowhere threatened to spill as she squirmed underneath him, hips wantonly chasing back after his digits and tongue as a dark chuckle filled her ears.

“Eager, are we?” He husked lowly, “you’ll have me in you again soon enough [Y/n] just be patient.” He continued as he began to move his way back up against her body, fingers trailing up her skin and stroking her warm skin before settling such an intense gaze upon her that it caused her to avert her own from him.

“Mm, none of that now,” he murmured, gingerly taking her chin in between damp fingers and turning her head to face him even though her eyes were still averted. “Look at me.”

Biting her lips, [Y/n] hesitated for a moment but only for a moment because as her mind tried to give her reasons not to do as he asked, his voice was back in all its soft dark velvet that had her wanting to obey.

“Sweet girl,” he whispered in a sultry voice, pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheek, “look at me, be my good girl, and look at me. ”

Something about the way he called her ‘good girl’ had her stomach churning in pleasure, a tiny mewl leaving her as she let the hesitation she held melt allowing herself to obey his words.

When their eyes met, she felt her breath hitch for a moment as she looked into black gleaming eyes. She had never once looked this deep into his eyes and as she did it felt like she was being sucked into an unending dark sea that had no end.

As dark as it was, and as unending as it felt, there was a strange sensation of never wanting to be let go of it. For not only was the darkness not cold as she thought it would be, but it was actually warm, inviting almost.

“There she is,” his voice invaded her senses pulling her up from that abyss as she felt his lips brush against hers, “such a good girl for me.” He added before pressing his lips against hers once more for another kiss.

To his surprise and delight, it was her who deepened the kiss this time around. Her arms wrapped around his shoulder while she leaned up a bit to press against him even more.

A growl emitted from his throat as she parted her lips for him inviting him to taste her again with no resistance. And he did. Tongue swirling around in her mouth as her fingers carded through his hair as she let herself be dominated.

It was absolutely alluring to him, the way she was giving herself to the pleasure now, no longer fighting. And who was he to not enjoy the obedience that she was giving him?

Pulling away from the kiss and watching as lust shined in her eyes while she stared at him as if waiting for him to tell her what to do. He leaned down, kissing her once more before placing his lips near her ear and whispering, “Would you like me to take care of you [Y/n]?”

Whimpering a little at the question and the underlying meaning, she could only nod her answer fearing her voice would fail if she tried to speak. Instead of acquiescing, Snape shook his own head at her nonverbal answer, a little smirk playing at his lips.

“No, let me hear you. I want to hear you say the words.”

Unlike the way she hesitated to look at him before, there was no hesitation in the words she spoke even if they had not been hurried either.

“Please,” she begged in a tiny voice unrecognizable to herself, her arms tightening around his shoulder bringing him closer to her. “Please take care of me.”

A pleasant almost kind smile grew on his lips at her word before he leaned down and pressed them against her cheek before murmuring a quiet, “of course.”

Letting out an almost relieved sigh, [Y/n] felt herself sinking further into the bed as Snape nestled his body right between her spread thighs that seemed to fall open more.

Welcoming him as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, guiding it to her entrance and slowly beginning to roll his hips against her. Each rocking motion caused her to gasp as his cock began to nudge her entrance open with each movement.

He did this a couple of more times, pushing past the entrance of her folds teasingly before pulling out, groaning at sticky wet sounds and little whimpers that fell from her.

Each press against her had his control slipping as he toyed with her by slowly inching more of him inside of her with each rock of his hips. He stretched her slowly as her cunt began throbbing around him each time he entered and pulled away. Teasing her folds, running his cock through her wetness before pressing back in and groaning as her whines became more vocal.

“Mmm please~.”

She whimpered breathlessly looking up at him, her hips rocking into his, only being stopped when he held her still causing her to almost want to cry.

It was becoming too much. She needed something in her. Something to stop the incessant throbbing that was almost painful from the amount of teasing and waiting. Stop the wildfire that was burning in the pit of her stomach that was becoming uncontrollable at his point.

Staring up at him with pleading wet eyes, she was met with him giving her a heated look that had her breath hitching as if she could see all the things in his mind right now that he wanted to do to her.

His gaze trapped her for a moment. Held her attention just enough so that when he finally gave her folds one last swipe before sheathing himself fully inside her with one thrust, he got to witness the way she fell apart.

How her lips suddenly parted as a choked sob became silent as she felt him sink into her. How her eyes widened for a moment, her body tensing at the intrusion that had made its way into her.

The startled gasp became one elongated moan as her body accepted the intrusion of him. Throbbing and fluttering around him as he sank further into her making him groan as the spasms of her body massaged his cock.

Both of their breathing became uneven as he relished at how hot and wet she was. Enjoying how tightly her body wrapped around him, squeezing him and coaxing him inside.

Pants filled the air as they both stilled, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the lustful sight of her beneath him. Lips parted, eyelids fluttering up at him with dilated pupils, and breath uneven while being full of cock.

What was even better was how she lay there. Not resisting. Instead only moaning out and wiggling her hips downwards a little as she tried to press him deeper into her. Wanting to feel how good it could be if she could take all of him.

As much as he wanted to be gentle with her this time around, the thought of pounding her into the mattress was much more alluring as she twisted her body stimulating both of them. He could be gentle another day but right now, he wanted her writhing on his cock and begging him as she gave herself over willingly.

Rocking his hips against hers at a steady pace, he pulled out of her completely before sinking himself completely back into her multiple times. Grinding his hips in small circles each time he entered her and pressing their hips closer.

Soft moans flew from her lips as she rocked her hips with his, chasing his cock each time he pulled out of her only to whimper out a soft ‘yes’ each time he sunk back inside stretching her completely.

The amount of pleasure he was bringing her just by fucking her on his cock was insane. And when he began to speed up, burying himself deeper into her, it had her body tensing and clenching down wanting him to stay inside her longer with each thrust.

Wet sounds of flesh slapping against each other filled the air alongside little whines that mingled with them whenever she felt him lean down to kiss her neck or cheek.

Each time he would do this she could feel him sinking deeper into her and it had her gasping out, tightening her hold on him trying to draw him closer as waves of heat burned inside her.

Faster and faster his hips snapped, bullying the soft spot inside her that had her toes curling and stomach clenching with each stroke. The pleasure she felt from it was too much. Suffocating almost especially when she felt his hand begin to snake between them.

She hadn’t paid any mind to his wandering hands too caught up in his cock filling her until the digits found what they had been looking for. With one harsh press against her clit, Snape began to rub tight circles around her causing her to choke and her hips to arch suddenly closing the distance. And before she knew it a broken sob of,

“F-Faster!”

Fell from her lips wanting more of what he was giving to her as she shook and writhe. Her cry had his cock swelling, hardening even more inside of her and his hips stuttering for a second at how lusty she sounded.

It surprised him only for a moment before he regained his rhythm thrusting, fingers leaving her pearl for a moment to gather the wetness that connected them before returning to the bead and rubbing it.

“Please faster it f-feels,” she gasped, feeling his fingers against her clit as it alternated between rubbing tight circles and pressing down on it causing her to almost choke on her words, “f-feels so, feels so!”

The words refused to come out instead a long moan took their place as he pressed deeper into her causing her breath to hitch.

“Feels what [Y/n]?” Snape hissed leaning down, pushing his cock further and further into her as his fingers continued to torture her clit. Her entire body convulsed at his touch as the throbbing of her insides became erratic and her mouth fell open even though no sound left her.

“Tell me,” he crooned, snapping his hips against her again making her shout before it morphed into a half sob half moan as her legs wrapped around his waist dragging him closer to her. “Tell me tell me how it feels.”

“Feels good feels so good,” she squealed out as his hips began to increase in their rhythm. The sound of wet flesh meeting each other became louder and more intense as her cunt began to gush with her juices with each plunge of his cock inside her while his fingers played with her clit that felt incredibly tight and sensitive.

Eyes rolling to the back of her head, her lips parted letting out streams of sobs and moans along with irregular puffs of air as her body began to wind itself up tight. Feeling the edge of her release come into view as he fucked her.

Amazed at just how ethereal she looked while drowning in pleasure, a tinge of excitement took hold of him at the thought of how she would look while coming on his cock. Coming undone on the man that had held her against her will until he wasn’t.

A loud groan tore from him at that thought, before he was snatching his hand away from her clit. Leaving her shaking and almost protesting before she was silenced with his lips smashing against hers and his pelvis tilting up just enough that it had her screaming into his mouth when he entered again.

Caging her in with his arms, and laying his body fully on top of hers he relished at how she shook underneath him as he pounded into her. Drinking in her cries and stealing her breath with each thrust as her insides churned and churned with the stimulation.

“You like that don’t you,” he rasped lowly, pulling away from her swollen lips and looking at her blissed out features as he continued to drag his cock in and out relentlessly.

Kissing up her neck he began to nibble a trail up to her ear before whispering into it, voice low filled with lust and breathy from the exertion being put forth, “like how deep my cock is?” He moaned, puncturing the sentence with a slam of his hips into her causing her to squeal, digging her fingers into him. “Like how it’s taking care of you?”

“Yes! I-it’s so good!” She shrieked as waves of pleasure began to drown and overwhelm her as his cock dragged against her spongy spot with each plunge inside of her.

“So good please,” her voice broke and her fingers clawed his shoulder trying to find something to moor her down as she babbled out desperately.

“Please, gonna come please!”

[Y/n] wailed loudly, her body twitching around him, desperately sucking him in and holding him close each time he tried to pull away signaling her body was about to fall over that euphoric ledge he was leading her to.

“You’re going to come?” He gritted out hips pounding into her fast and hard no doubt going to leave bruises on her skin as he ripped sob after sob out of her. “I’ll let you come,” he hissed, eyes glinting as he watched her eyes fluttering and tears begin to drip down her face from the pleasure that was churning in her. “But I want to hear you scream my name when you do understand?”

The thought of disobeying never passed her mind, the only thing on it was the impending release that was bubbling up quickly and about to reach the point of no return. So she nodded furiously, eyes wide and body already trembling as he didn’t let up his pace.

“Yes! Yes! I’ll do whatever you want, I'll do it!” Her sobs were almost incomprehensible as she thrashed her head against the bed as if she were out of her mind. “Please, please, please!”

Moaning at her words, Snape latched his lips onto her neck and sucked at the skin pressing into her as he shoved a hand between where they were connected holding himself over her with one arm.

His mouth moved next to her ear panting, “then come,” he growled fingers pressing her bead that had her choking out and hips canting upward meeting his thrust, “come on my cock, my good girl.”

It felt as if fireworks had been lit in her belly. Her cunt spasmed once twice, and then over and over unrelenting as his fingers rubbed tight harsh circles against her in the same rhythm of his thrusts.

“Severus!”

He didn’t stop as his name left her lips in a scream that had him groaning out loud at the sound of it. No, he kept thrusting into her ignoring the way she sobbed and shook underneath as he abused her oversensitive cunt.

Ignoring how she choked his name out saying it like a prayer as she looked at him with eyes glistening with tears and parted lips that were swollen and wet.

“Severus! S-Severus!”

[Y/n] sobbed, not able to form any other coherent words or thoughts. All that was in her mind was him. How his fingers stayed on her clit, playing with the oversensitive bead as he continued to rail into her forcing her body to begin its climb to another orgasm just after the one she had.

It didn’t take long either for her to get there as his cock began to throb inside of her and his thrusts became sloppy yet still digging deep into her until the shout of her name rang around the room.

“[Y/n]!”

The sound of her name vibrated in the air as he slammed his lips harshly against hers in a desperate kiss. When he emptied himself inside her she could only moan into his mouth as he released inside her. Feeling his hot seed coating her and flooding her insides had her spasming again, causing a choked noise to leave her and her mind to blank as another orgasm hit her.

The lack of oxygen from him kissing her had her feeling dizzy almost as if she was having an out of body experience. Her entire body quaked and she couldn’t control the moans and whimpers that escaped her as he stilled himself inside her.

Cunt spasming and throbbing around him all she could feel was how warm she was. How wet and slick her insides felt as it pulsed from the unrelenting fucking that she had endured.

Arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him, it felt like an eternity passed before her body started to come down from the euphoric bliss that he had caused her to spiral down.

Her eyes were wide open as she stared up at the ceiling, heavy pants becoming quiet whimpers as she tugged herself closer to him ignoring the stickiness and weight of him still in her.

The high of having such an intense orgasm left her body high strung and needing the weight and comfort of another to calm her as wave after wave of emotions began to hit her.

Cooing at her actions, Severus kissed her cheek, wrapping his arms around her and just letting her be underneath him with her shivering form and her eyes closing before any tears could fall out of them.

She didn’t know how much time had passed, or when she had fallen asleep. But when she reopened her eyes, darkness was the only thing that greeted her vision. A blanket was pulled over her preventing the chill from reaching her and the feeling of being cleaned was evident.

Her body, still weighed down from Severus' grip on her, was unmoving as her mind began to replay the moments that had led her up to this moment. How she laid underneath him, let him use her, even begged for it, begged for him to use her.

And it felt good. It felt so good. He had taken care of her like he said he would, hadn’t hurt her and it was blissful for a split second as when she was rocked with her orgasm all she felt was relaxed bliss.

The tears that rolled down her cheek went unnoticed as she clenched her eyes shut as her mind continued to replay it over and over. In her spiral, she doesn’t capture the way her fingers grasp onto his nightshirt and how she pressed herself close to him with each passing thought. Nor did she register the sensation of his hand lightly pressing into her back.

No, her mind was too caught up in something else. Caught up in the answer she had been too afraid of to admit out loud. It had been there much earlier than she wanted to believe. But it had been there floating around flashing every time something happened.

Because if it was to save her, to keep her from becoming more damaged, from being lonely, or even dying. Then selfish, or not there had only been one answer from the start:

To give in.

A/N: Well well well if that wasn't a rollercoaster idk what is lol. I hope this chapter turned out okay and I do admit I had a hard time with it because the plot was not trying to plot but it is done and I'm not mad at it and I hope you guys aren't either :)!!!

Also, shout out to @renee561 for listening to me scream and complain about this chapter while also making me sprint for my life to get it done asap. Thank you, friend!!!

And thank you guys for reading this even though it took me a hot minute to write it! As usual, leave your thoughts (and if you see any errors) ^o^ and I hope to see you in the next chapter! (Which will not be nearly as plot focused as this so if you're just wanting a lot of smut that next one is for u 😘 whenever she writes it....)

#severus snape x reader #severus x reader #snape x reader #severus snape x you #severus x you #severus snape fic #smut #blossoms writing

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