#and also the friend they brought is 23... so a little older than us haha 😐 and he apparently don't know what personal space is

[yeoldotcom]

hello. i haven't been here all day. ive had 4 bowls of pasta.

[aaltjelng]

so the lovely @languagessi sent me an ask with the numbers for the ask game but i managed to accidentally delete the ask:)) well, i decided to try to answer anyway, hopefully i remembered the numbers right haha... so here are the answers!

12. Vocab or grammar?

It’s a tough question! I guess it kind of depends on the language... I am utterly in love with Korean grammar! It might sound strange but I just find studying it so fascinating and rewarding. It also feels really nice to finally be learning a language that shares some traits with Finnish (no articles, a lot of suffixes...) I find studying Korean grammar a lot nicer than for example French grammar (although I do like that too!), mostly because I struggle a lot with remembering the genders of nouns and that makes me frustrated, and articles and genders feel kind of unnecessary to me as a Finnish speaker whereas the nuances that can be expressed through Korean grammar are really interesting.

I don’t have such strong opinions on vocab. In the beginning I did find it hard to remember Korean vocab and I still struggle with that a bit, but it’s getting better and better all the time. I think I like learning vocab the most when studying Swedish! I don’t know why, but I guess it just feels like it sticks more easily. I do love some Korean, especially native Korean words with all my heart... And learning vocab can feel super rewarding: that feeling when you spot a word you just learned in a random text and realize you can actually understand what it is saying is really the best feeling.

23. How did you get into languages?

Honestly I have loved languages for as long as I can remember. When my brother started learning English at school at the age of 9 (I was 7), I secretly listened to him and our mom studying. I also stole his English books and secretly read them by myself and tried to study.

After that I did have some time that I was just studying at school, I was always good at it but not as enthusiastic as I am now. It clicked in 2017 when I was 13 years old and I just started studying Swedish on my own. We had it in school too, but I was frustrated with how slow we were going. Somehow I just thought about the idea of studying and speaking this language and languages in general and it just made me really excited and happy. It is really difficult to explain but languages really bring out this certain feeling in me and that feeling has stayed with me since that year.

24. Why are you studying your target language?

So I actually have four target languages right now: French, Swedish, Italian and Korean. English is also a foreign language for me but I am not really interested in improving my English level as of now. 

Out of these four languages, I am now actively trying to improve my Korean, while the other three are more or less on “maintenance mode”. I study those three at school as well so I am still using and studying them, just not with the same intensity as Korean.

Anyway, here’s a little bit about each of these languages and why I am studying them!

French: I started it at school at the age of 9. It was quite a clear decision for me back then, I was really interested in the language, I had been to France many times and the Dutch side of my family actually originates from France (like hundreds of years ago my ancestors fled persecution from France to the Netherlands). I really loved studying French and my interest has only grown over the years. I love speaking French, I love reading French, I love listening to French and writing in French, and I really want to get my French to an advanced level. I will probably work on my French more actively next year and really try to bring it to C1 level before my matriculation exam. Now my French is somewhere between B1 and B2.

Swedish: I started it at school when I was 12 years old. In Finland Swedish is an obligatory subject so I didn’t actually choose starting it haha but I have always loved Swedish so I was motivated from the start. My aunt lives in Stockholm and I have been there for about 20 times. My mom also loves Swedish and I think she has also been a factor in my love for Swedish. As I said earlier, Swedish is actually the language that inspired me to start actively self studying languages. I just felt so frustrated with the pace we were moving at at school and I just thought to myself: “I learned English more or less fluently mostly with my own effort. Why couldn’t I do that with Swedish too?”. English I had learned because of other factors, not really my enthusiasm about the language or language learning but more because I needed to understand English in order to understand fandom things and books and bands I loved. So I thoguht that, well, books were really the thing that brought my English to a new level, so I should probably do that with Swedish. And so I did that and studied hard and got my Swedish to an intermediate level. I studied actively for about 5 months, after that I’ve just been mostly relying on school. This spring & summer I am planning on taking the next step and bringing my Swedish to an advanced level before my matriculation exam.

Italian: I started studying Italian at school last year with my best friend. She is part Italian and I thought that because I love learning languages and I love her and there is a possibility take Italian, why not take Italian? I also love Italian history and art and Italian is a very significant language in classical music (I am studying to become a classical violinist/violist). So I have been taking Italian for a bit more than a year now and I am around an A2 level. Next year, before the matriculation exam, I’d love to get my Italian to a B2 level or at least a B1 level.

Korean: In the summer 2019 I stumbled across some videos and heard my first songs by BTS. One of them: Paldogangsan or so-called “Satoori rap”. I heard it and just instantly fell in love. It’s a song about Korean dialects, and the way the rap showcased the different sounds of the Korean language... It really inspired me. Well, other things happened in my life, I got depressed, my other psychiatric and neurological issues got worse and so on. Through that time I discovered some truly amazing and touching songs that had lyrics that really moved me to my core, some by BTS but most by Agust D, and I knew I had to learn that language, at least a little bit. At first I just learned hangul to make sure that the lyrics I was scribbling to my diary weren’t complete nonsense. During the following six months I didn’t actively study Korean, I just played with Duolingo here and there, listened to a few beginner TTMIK lessons, acquired some vocabulary I was hearing in songs... 

But in May 2020 something just struck me and I just got this sudden burst of inspiration. I realized that if I really wanted to learn this language, what better time to start than now? I guess I had been feeling kind of intimidated, because I knew that learning a language, any language and especially one like Korean would take a long time. But I still remember this one post that I saw on tumblr. It said something about how usually when we think about how long learning a language will take, we feel weirded out about thinking ourselves being that much older. But the thing is, we will get older anyway. Might as well be older and know this language that you deeply love. That idea has stayed with me since. Let’s take one estimate: getting fluent in Korean will take about 4 years. In 4 years I’ll be 21. So? In 4 years I’ll be 21 anyway, why not be a 21 year old who knows Korean. And I also realized that I am still so young. I have so much time to learn so many languages. Might as well use it.

So I have been actively studying by myself for about 6 months and would place myself somewhere around the A2 level. This October I made this challenge for myself: for 100 days, study as hard as you can. Learn as much as you can and do not give up. I really want to see how far I can come if I give this my all! I’m wishing on getting to a B1 level at the end of this challenge but we’ll see. WIth Korean, and I guess with any language, it’s quite easy to get discouraged by thinking how much you still don’t know, so it’s important to also realize how much you already know. I have come so far already during these past 6 months, and I am really proud of myself. That motivates me to keep going: I learned all that, so I can learn these other things too!

Okay hahaha sorry for my very very long post and making you listen to my ramblings in my incoherent English.  I just love languages so much and I could talk about them for forever!

Thank you if you read this far, I hope you have a wonderful day. <3

Aleijd

[purplesurveys]

1017

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Are you one of those people who can watch TV shows and movies over and over again without getting bored? Yeah this is pretty much my approach to all of my favorites. if a show or movie is able to join that club, then I automatically have no problem watching it over and over. Case in point, Friends for TV shows and The Proposal for movies.

2 - If you drink coffee, do you like it plain or would you rather have something like a latte or something flavoured? I never take coffee black. I mean I’ve had a few sips of it from friends’ cups before, but it just made me miserable loooool.

3 - How did you used to dress ten years ago? Do you dress in a similar way now? Ten years ago I was 12 and had no fashion sense whatsoever. I just put on whatever hand-me-down I got or whatever my mom would get me when she’d go window shopping. Didn’t really start putting in effort in my outfits until the end of high school.

4 - When you’re grocery shopping, do you buy known brands or are you happy to go with the generic store version? Known brands, because most of the time they end up having a better quality as well. 

5 - Do you have a close relationship with any of your cousins? I’m super close with only one cousin, the eldest one on my mom’s side. He’s pretty much like an older brother to me and my siblings. Everyone else on my mom’s side is too young for me to get truly close with; my cousins on my dad’s side are too shy and also live too far away for me to be able to keep up a close relationship with them.

6 - Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Does this person stay over often or was it more of a one-off? Gabie, I think. She stayed over a lot before, but obviously not anymore.

7 - Does bad weather put you off going out if you’ve got plans to do so? Have you ever cancelled plans due to the weather? Only if a typhoon is really strong; like now, and how they actually had to cancel work today because of the power outages everywhere and because residents in other cities are already being brought to evacuation centers where they can be safe. I had no idea work suspensions were a thing lmao so I was glad to read the message today; I didn’t know how I was going to work with only data and limited battery for both my phone and laptop (power’s been out in our house since 1 AM). :(

8 - When you’re on vacation, do you prefer doing the typical tourist things, or would you rather explore somewhere off the beaten track? I will enjoy a tourist thing or two, but otherwise I’d focus on the less-explored or less-visited attractions. It’s usually the museums or historical landmarks, which is a shame.

9 - Did your family travel a lot when you were younger? From the time I turned 11, which I think was the time my dad got a good promotion and money got a lot better at home. We’d go for vacations locally and abroad every time he was home, which was every 5-6 months.

10 - When was the last time you went shopping for clothes? Did you get anything decent or find any bargains? Around March, I think. Yeah, I found two tops that were both bargains.

11 - Is it true that accessories can make or break an outfit? For sure. With me, it’s bags.

12 - What is your worst memory from high school? What about the best? The absolute worst that I can remember was when we had to role-play as our chosen character in the novel we were taking up in Filipino class; and for some wild reason I chose the most extravagant, bitchiest, flamboyant character...for whom I do not have even the slightest acting chops. When I got to the front of the classroom that’s when I realized my mistake, blanked out, realized I wasn’t going to be able to act as her, and fumbled for the next five minutes. 

My favorite bits from high school were the lunch periods I spent with my friend group. Even if we don’t talk anymore, I’m just grateful I was able to find a home in a group in high school.

13 - Is there any trait in a potential partner that would be a total dealbreaker for you? Right now my biggest dealbreaker is if they aren’t Gabie...lol. Other than that, I imagine being hugely turned off by poor hygiene.

14 - Do you insist people use coasters if they’re putting drinks down in your house? No. I wish we did have coasters as I find them aesthetically pleasing haha, but my mom doesn’t find them necessary

15 - Have you ever been arrested? Were you guilty of whatever it is you were arrested for? Never been.

16 - Name five items on the shelf nearest to you: I don’t have shelves in my room.

17 - After meals, do you wash dishes up right away, or do you leave them in the sink and do a whole days worth at once? I leave them in the sink and soak it with water and dishwashing soap for an hour or so, so that by the time I get back to it it’s easier and quicker to wash. So I do leave them, but I don’t wait until I have 4353894753246 dishes to wash by the end of the day.

18 - What websites do you find yourself spending the most time on? These days I’m primarily on Google Suite, honestly. Work eats up my week.

19 - Do you still download music and TV shows? No. Nearly all media I consume these days is thanks to an online subscription. The only exception is YouTube, I think.

20 - Does your phone have a good battery life? How long does it last before you need to charge it again? I don’t know how it fares compared to other brands, but I’m generally okay with my phone’s battery life. It lasts around 2-3 hours if used continuously, but if I’m out all day and on the go, it can last a whole day with me.

21 - When was the last time you hit snooze? Yesterday.

22 - Did you ever play The Sims? Which expansion pack was your favourite, if you had any? I did play The Sims a lot before – mostly Sims 2 on the PS2, Sims 2 Pets on the PSP, and Sims 4 on the PS4. I never explored the expansion packs too much, though.

23 - Are there any popular film series or TV shows that you just don’t get the appeal of? Game of Thrones and any Marvel movie.

24 - As a child, did you receive pocket money or an allowance? How much did you get? Was it dependent on you doing chores of some kind? Eh, not really. I didn’t receive an allowance of any kind until I was in high school when I started to be given P100 (roughly $2) a day, which was enough for snacks and lunch. No, I didn’t do chores to get the money.

25 - Do you think your parents did a good job of raising you? Would you do anything differently with your own kids? They taught me manners, showing respect, and different values like recognizing my privilege, giving to the poor, understanding my enemies in school, etc. But my childhood seriously lacked emotional maturity, physical affection, and, generally...just being treated like a kid; and I definitely feel the effects from these until today. I was already yelled at from age 5, and that has made me afraid of anyone who ever so slightly raises their voice. I’d do a lot of things differently with my own kid/s.

26 - If something is bothering you, do you have to fix it right away? Not always. Sometimes I run away from it first.

27 - Are there any household jobs you enjoy doing? If so, what’s the reason that you enjoy those things? This isn’t much of a chore as washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom, but I love making my bed. It gives me a sense of productivity and accomplishment, and it’s honestly a form of self-care. I always have the option of letting my bed stay messy and then feeling like shit about it the whole day, so when I do make my bed and fold up my blanket and everything, it gets a little easier to pat myself on the shoulder.

28 - Do you still live in the area you grew up in? Would you like to live somewhere else one day? Where would you go? Yeah, we literally just moved to the village right next to the one I grew up in. I’ve lived here nearly all my life, so I can’t wait to move someplace else. In the city, preferably; with skyscrapers and the constant sound of traffic, construction, and people walking. I feel I’d be happier there.

29 - Do you smoke, drink or do drugs? How old were you the first time you tried those things?  Do you want to quit? I drink, vape, and smoke, but I’m not reliant on any of these. I had my first drink at 18, and I smoked and vaped for the first time when I was 21. No, I don’t have plans to quit.

30 - What’s one thing that really grosses you out? Is it something you have to deal with anyway? How do you cope? Cockroaches. Sometimes we’ll see a cockroach roaming around the house, but it’s super rare so I wouldn’t say I regularly deal with them. I cope by yelling for my mom or dad to come kill it, ha.

[memorylang]

Easter Epilogue in America | #35 | April 2020

Friday, March 6, 2020, I disembarked in North Las Vegas, Nevada, to a home I hadn’t lived in since high school 2015. I’ve been here a couple months now, by time of writing. 

With today’s stories, I bring you from my first days and weeks back in the States through April’s end. I share reverse culture’s shock’s role in my readjustment to Vegas life, as COVID-19 grew across the States. But I’m a hopeful man, so you know my stories end well. 

As a good friend reminded me the night I learned all Peace Corps Volunteers had to go, "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in His way" (Psalm 37:23). Consider this the epilogue to my very fruitful, memorable, and—dare I write—life-changing adventures. I've no regrets. 

Overture

Week 1 (March 6-12) was a blessing, having just returned to an America vaguely like the one I knew. Gosh, I love fruit. Thankfully, a few friends saw me. 

Then Week 2 (March 13-19) brought big changes and new deadlines. But, meanwhile, Week 3 (March 20-26) began my home improvement operations. The following weekend saw a drive to Reno to see my 19-year-old sister at uni. 

Weeks 4 and 5 (March 27-April 9) saw my 21-year-old sister visit Vegas from LA, starting with the 24th birthday of my older brother and ending after Easter Sunday. 

Week 6 (April 10-16) began with Holy Week, then driving Sister back to LA, followed by the restart to fitness routines. My routines expanded, Week 7 (April 17-23). Week 8 (April 24-30), Dad visited that weekend, so I braved minor puncture wounds from yard work with him plus an excruciating medical procedure. Fitness routines continued, and I shifted my diet from a fruit obsession to increasing my protein intake. 

Week 9 (May 1-7) began by closing loose ends with my Peace Corps stories. I’ve begun next steps while home, as we lead into Mothers’ Day. 

Landing—Returned to Vegas

From tens of thousands of feet in the air, I felt the end of an era. Nine Mongolian months ended. 

The midday we landed, I wanted to get up and leave elsewhere, not to the house in Vegas. 

I’m an English teacher. It’s a school day. I should be teaching. 

My 18-year-old high school senior brother picked me up from the airport. Haha, he said he skipped English class to get me. Dad seemed upset that my bro missed class, but Bro had stable senioritis, with college plans secured. I loved the irony of skipping class to get a teacher. 

Neighborhood in Reverse Culture Shock

A few hours after we came home, I went forth to community walk around the neighborhood, trying to make sense of things. 

“Hello, how are you?” said someone in passing. “Oh, doing great,” I replied in usual fashion. 

Well, I wasn't [doing great]. 

As I walked I weighed how when I used to live in Vegas, in 2015, I was more concerned with, what's the newest game? What's the latest episode? Yet now I feel more detached, less purposeful. I continued on to the park. 

I love the fragrances and fresh air beneath the trees. I lied in the grass. 

In another way, I felt, I only tolerated Vegas. There's more for me out there. There are so many cities and places with people I'd rather see and be with. 

But God is with me here, too. It's the second Friday of Lent. 

School buses drove by as I walked home a couple hours later. Middle schoolers walked and biked my neighborhood. (Was it my neighborhood? I'd hardly reintegrated...) 

Middle schoolers jeered to each other about whatever. Some kids probably had crushes on each other but felt too shy to speak up, uncomfortable with the status quo. I felt like a watcher no longer a participant. Yet I was them, here, 10 years ago. 

I had some dinner then slept shortly after, from 6:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. in our home’s guest bed. There I realized, I might be sleeping here a while. 

Strange Days Ahead

By Saturday morning, my first one waking at home, I still felt I’d feel lonely without my senior cohort if I came back to Mongolia. Thankfully at least a half dozen said they plan to return. And senior cohort members who continued keeping in touch with me were great comforts. I still felt encouraged to apply to be a Resource Volunteer, sometime after conquering my 16-hour jet lag. 

“Frozen II” tracks from the day before looped in my head most mornings. Film themes of change, grief and controlling the few things we can felt uncommonly personal. From Saturday on, I looped English and Chinese tracks from “Frozen II” while coping with being home. One jetlagged 3 a.m. morning, I even transcribed and translated the tracks between languages. 

Later Saturday morning, I walked back to the park. I spotted a tree. So I climbed it. Surprisingly my park had a sturdy one. Who knew? The tree’s been here all the dozen years my family has... 

Atop its branches, I felt I might wake up from a dream and be back in Mongolia the next day. 

I felt still reeling from my bewildering first Peace Corps Week. From seven days ago, I left my Mongolian city, came among nearly 100 fellow Volunteers, joined half on a journey across Europe, then found myself back in Vegas with my four siblings still in school. So mystic. 

American Culture Redux

I’d jot general musings about culture during these first days back in the States. 

We say, “Pardon me,” as though the mere act of engaging a stranger in conversation might offend against a stranger’s time. 

In the West, we highly value possessions, and we treat time itself as something to possess. 

In the States, we travel separately to functions. We might chit chat some before or after. Then we part ways to do whatever we’ve already scheduled. 

I wondered if I should ask to visit people or accompany them. Would that be weird? I felt my integration habits of Peace Corps lingered. But I considered, I still had plenty I could do by myself, like taking time to process my sudden evacuation.

In the States, we decide against reaching out to people. Perhaps we fear simple greetings to friends, with nothing more, might impose on their time. On the flip side, I receive multiple messages per week from Mongolians simply writing to say good morning or hello—so pleasant. I should cherish others’ care, never reject. 

Resettling In

I cut my hand dropping down the tree, so I applied pressure, elevated the wound and headed home to clean and bandage it. I felt weirdly at ease, remembering Peace Corps health trainings. I recalled “Dear Evan Hansen,” too. 

My family was busy with life, so the house felt rather quiet and still most hours. Already, though, I brainstormed ways to keep busy as a Peace Corps Volunteer on admin hold. 

I began by finishing my Peace Corps blog stories. The day after, I’d already have my newest online, “Trilingual Adventures, My First Mongolian Winter | #22 | January 2020.” Coincidentally, that story was my last from before Coronavirus quarantines in Mongolia began. 

Mongolian friends still messaged me every so often. They're so kind. I hoped they wouldn’t lose hope I'll return. [Nine weeks later, they’re still hopeful.] Meanwhile, I still wanted to search for a Vegas Mongolians Facebook group when my jet lag was up and I felt ready to start speaking Mongolian again.

I considered planning a trip to my alma mater in Reno, Nev. for a week later that month, once I settled more into the States’ routines. On the topic of routines, I decided maybe I'd visit church most weekdays to establish some semblance. I'd help my folks as best I could, so I’d still feel like I'm serving somebody. I even thought of getting my 23-year-old brother's bike repaired, to borrow it every so often! 

To end that reflective weekend, later that Saturday, my little brother drove me to the bank to deposit the funds I withdrew earlier that week in Mongolia. Then he treated me to my first American fast-food in a while. I attended Mass for the first time in weeks that evening. On Sunday, I marveled at seeing free to-go boxes, when Dad’s fiancée’s family invited my brother and I to celebrate the oldest daughter’s birthday. I enjoyed my first Thai tea in a long while. 

That week, I frequented daily morning prayer, rosary and Masses at church. Then walked around the community and continued blog tales either from the public library or from a local Starbucks (coincidentally the same one in which Black Friday 2018 I committed to Peace Corps service). On separate days, a couple friends also reconnected with me. I attended Mass seven of eight days this period, returning to Reconciliation that final Saturday and dreaming dreams most every night two weeks thereafter. 

Peace Corps Global Evacuation

Week 2 (March 13-19), my cohort learned we were being reclassified as being Returned Peace Corps Volunteers—as in, we’d officially completed our service. This followed with sudden paperwork, thankfully not due for a few weeks. This led to global headlines of all Peace Corps Volunteers coming home, too.

Between home projects to tidy the house or weed the yard, I joined up with the National Peace Corps Association group writing to our legislators to support Returned Peace Corps Volunteers worldwide. I spent the days preceding the Holy Triduum completing my final paperwork. 

I felt comforted nonetheless Peace Corps Mongolia insisted we could reinstate, assuming Mongolia’s situation resolves within the next year. I felt willing to take that bet. 

COVID-19 Escalates Across the States

My second week, church closed. I still frequented the park but felt amazed to see more people than usual. A couple more friends reconnected. 

A few weeks later, businesses shut down, schools closed, and I felt more adjusted. America was looking like the rest of the world. I trusted Americans generally had a good sense of sanitation practices, so I felt less concerned about establishments open. Mongolia lacked drive-throughs, so businesses there often closed outright. 

But my weekend between Weeks 3 and 4, March 26-28, felt the first time I heard how rapidly COVID-19 escalated in the States. My little brother played podcasts as we drove to deliver supplies to our uni sister sheltering in Reno. From the news, I heard the U.S. now led the world in Coronavirus cases. That sounded bad. I felt especially baffled hearing that Nevada, with a population slightly less than Mongolia’s, topped over 100 times as many cases. I felt more at risk in the States! 

During the trip, I also encountered American jargon, like, “Out of/due to an abundance of caution…,” “social distancing” and “Flatten the curve.” I felt critical of whether many Nevadans really knew what the jargon meant, considering how many cars remained on the road, how close people gathered in parks and how shoppers hardly kept distance. Though, I also recognized that Mongolian media might have used similar stock phrases that I just didn’t know... Nonetheless, Mongolians officials seemed more willing to pause operations to let health workers build capacity, and citizens tended to comply. 

If any last brave friends wanted to see me, the closest we got to physical touch was to raise our feet toward each other and bump our shoes, as bros might fist bump or clasp hands. I commented touching each other’s feet together in Mongolia would’ve been a serious taboo, hehe. Still, I left those as my last in-person meet-ups to #StayHome and limit concerning others.  

Perks of Being American

At home, my time zone matched most friends’ again, which made phone and video calls so feasible. I chatted with whoever reached out or replied to my outreach, which led to lovely chats with relatives, mentors, past classmates, fellow Peace Corps evacuees and more. 

Introverted friends inspired me much when I checked in with them. They joyously shared how much time they’ve had for uninterrupted time to themselves and work from home. Introverts often touch my soul. 

Being an ambivert feels weird for me sometimes, in how I straddle both sides. Extroverts often seem the ones I want, but introverts seem the ones I need. Nowadays, when being extroverted takes the effort, I find inspiration flowing from introverted bliss. 

Community members I met in Mongolia continued keeping in touch with me, which helped me remember and stay close to my prayerful Lenten commitment to consult God on my projects. 

Easter 2020 #WithMe with Family

My fourth week, my 21-year-old sister, the USC junior, flew in to celebrate our older bro’s 24th birthday. She brought her Nintendo Switch, so I soaked up the fun of “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate,” Nintendo’s “ARMS” demo and Jackbox Games with the family. After unis went online, our older bro transitioned to quarantine with his girlfriend and her sisters, but he still visited to celebrate his birthday with us. 

I also felt joyful during Holy Week when the World Youth Day 2019 Mass soundtrack appeared on Spotify. It was an incredible choral and rhythmic masterpiece I never thought I’d hear again. I recently learned, too, a childhood best friend would receive confirmation this year—magnificent!

As on Sundays, I saw the Lent and Holy Week services on YouTube, between channels like Shalom World with Pope Francis, Ascension Presents with Fr. Mike Schmitz, Word on Fire with Bishop Barron, and Our Lady of Wisdom Newman Center with Fr. Nathan Mamo. A Kansan relative joked how COVID-19’s let us “attend” Mass in our jeans, haha. Dad’s fiancée and I talked about the newfound freedom to just choose any online pastor per week. 

My Easter 2020 apex came Good Friday. I felt moved by the Vatican’s Way of the Cross, which read Italian reflections written by incarcerated and those whose lives they affected or whose lives affect them. They reminded me, for many of us, COVID-19 is nothing compared to the ‘normal’ sufferings of those behind bars, starving for hope. 

Renewed Motivation

After Easter Sunday, my lil’ bro and I returned Sister to L.A., Dad returned to work in northern Nevada, and Older Bro returned to sheltering away. So since the beginning of Easter, April 12, 2020, I’ve spent my days seeking to accelerate into a newer, more stable motivated state. 

I decided first to honor Dad’s suggestion to work-out and, with my lil’ bro’s help, added focused fitness to my days. I borrowed my siblings’ game system and games to finish one I started years ago while on the treadmill. I personally doubled-down on blog stories to get two through a week. And, setting up my new horizon after, I started looking back into language studies. Week 7 (April 17-23) added my return to polyphasic sleep to boost productivity. 

I’m a hopeful man. So some days, especially between 4 and 6 a.m., I draw or write stories about the ideal life I wish I could be living. This helps me delve into where my yearnings really are, mentally. After seeing “The Rise of Skywalker,” I even doodled an Avatar like Rey meditating in the air. Then I try giving my wants back up to God, accepting I can’t have all those things right now. Usually this process illuminates desires I hadn’t acknowledged before. 

I also recognize the steps I can take now to draw me closer to my future desires.

I spend idle thoughts when possible praying for others. I realize with so many people already praying for me, I needn’t worry about myself, since I’m taken care of. Instead, I should think to the ones who do not know the hope I feel. I wish some encounter might intrigue them and offer new peace. Such exercises remind me too of my privileges and help root me in my giving self. 

Ecclesiastical Latin’s been a fun quest toward greater knowledge. It bridges both Mongolian and Spanish grammar, while drawing vocabulary I’ve encountered across English, Spanish, Mandarin Chinese and Mongolian, too. Plus I understand church music better now. It’s a fun journey. I found regarding Church language that Mandarin and Mongolian more frequently transliterated straight from the Latin, where English and Spanish adapted. Fun reading. 

Five Months of Freedom

I read the soonest I might return to Peace Corps service in Mongolia would be October 2020. So, I’ll be here in the Pacific time zone for long, if you want to call someday. I’ve cherished my adventures and look forward to those ahead.

I’m ostensibly home for the summer, so I plan to write at least once monthly a new piece sharing unpublished bits from Mongolia, maybe a few new tales from American life, too. 

Hard to believe after packing my Mongolian apartment, evacuating in our caravan to the capital, saying so-long to many, flying around the world and finally landing in Vegas, I’d finish revising and editing these blog stories #22 through 38. I’d been drafting them for months, weeks and days! At last, we’ve caught up. 

So, as the days come, I’ll rise, read Scriptures, reflect, journal, chat with Asia, take to the treadmill, play some games, see some films or shows, try to eat well, try to work most muscles, try not to strain something, then return to writing, other reading, napping, showering, sorting, teeth-brushing, thinking and marveling. This leaves plenty of time to socialize. And I do miss you, wherever you shelter.

Keep in touch, Friend! 

Up next is a 2020 Mother’s Day reflection. 

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

[ninatastic]

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah 

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

no

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c: 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food 

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

[4everinsane]

Harry Styles - “I Want One”

Thank @blueeyedsoulme for this.. Harry/babies... kill me. haha. Enjoy! Hope you like it. 

“You sure you don’t mind?” Ben questioned Harry one last time, his hand on the doorknob of Harry’s home, about to leave his baby girl with her godfather for the afternoon. Ben trusted Harry, obviously since he was her godfather and all, but leaving his child was always hard no matter who with. 

“Go on now, we can handle this.” Harry shoos him with his hands, a wide grin on his face. “See you in a few hours.” 

Once Ben was gone, Harry headed back for the living room where you were at, taking baby Ruby from the car seat Ben had carried her in. He grins when he sees you with the baby in your arms, you having not yet noticed he had walked in the room. Harry took a moment to stand in the doorway of the room, taking in the sight of you cooing at the baby in your arms and it hit him. He wanted to see this every single day, he wanted this to be his life. You, him, and a baby.

It was on his mind the rest of the day. He would hold Ruby close to him, cuddling her to his chest as he fed her, played with her, made funny faces at her to get her little baby giggle out, a wide grin on his face. This was what he wanted. He always loved babies and children, of course, something changed in him today, though. Taking care of his goddaughter with you, a baby, he started to think if having one of his own with you would be a good idea. 

He realized it was. The two of you were in a stable relationship, lived together, obviously were secure financially. Sure, he knew you probably wanted to be married and a little older first but the more the day passed, the more he wanted it. 

“Byeeeee!” Harry presses kiss after kiss against Ruby’s face, earning giggles from the baby as Harry’s stubble scratched at her face. Ben laughs, shaking his head at his friends behavior. 

“So it was all good?” He asks you, allowing Harry to get in one last cuddle with Ruby before he took her home. You smile at him, giving a nod as you look back at your boyfriend who was completely wrapped up in the baby. 

“Of course, you know Harry and I can handle her. Harry never let her out of his sight,” Harry was now blowing raspberries against her cheek, her baby giggles filling the air around you, causing you to grin. “or put her down for that matter.” 

Once Harry finally managed to detach himself from the baby, he walked Ben out and almost as soon as the door was shut, he leaned against it and gave you a wide grin. 

“I want one.” His words bring a gasp from your lips. Never did you expect him to say that in that moment. Sure, you knew you’d have that ‘children’ talk one day down the road but you weren’t ready yet and you didn’t think Harry was either. He was probably just still on a high from Ruby and didn’t mean it. 

“Okay, Harry,” You give a laugh and shake your head, moving to head towards the kitchen and start dinner but he grabs your arm and pulls you around, giving you a pout. 

“I mean it,” He says, his green eyes piercing down into you. “I wan’ us to have a baby.” You give him a furrowed brow frown, unsure of how to respond. 

“And we will, Harry, one day.” You pull your arm from his large ringed hand, shaking your head. “Not now though.” 

“Why no’ now, love?” You had started to head for the kitchen again and now he follows you. “I love you, so much, I wan’ ya to carry my baby.” You came to a stop, coming around to face him. He gives you another pout. “Come on, love, why no’? We are in a good place, we could do it!” 

“We’re only 23, Harry! You’re about to release an album next month, start your solo career, you have a movie coming out this summer, a tour in the fall. We will have babies of our own, Haz, just not any time soon, okay?” You see the look of pure defeat and sadness wash across that handsome face of his. You give a sigh, taking his scruffy face in your hands to reach up on your toes to press a gentle kiss to the crease that had formed between his brows. “Stop pouting, you know it makes me sad.” He gives a sigh, his long tattooed arms wrapping around your hips and pulling you against his warm body. 

“Can we practice how to make a baby, at leas’?” His question makes you break out in a laugh and you hope your lips on his was answer enough. 

Harry let the subject of having a baby drop for a few days, even though it was on his mind constantly. It was all that he could think about. He would wake up early, as always, roll over and just watch you curled up beside him and spend far longer than he would ever admit to you simply watching you, imagining what you would look like round and pregnant with his child. 

“Have you given any more thought to what I suggested last week?” Harry approached the subject with caution, unsure of how you would react to him bringing it up again. He watches your face as you search through your memories, trying to come upon what suggestion Harry could mean. 

“Harry,” You sigh, putting down the hairbrush you had been using and sit beside him on the bed. The day had just begun, him going to head off to meetings all day and you had plans to see some friends for some girl time. “I just want to focus on us right now, you with your career and me with mine. You’re going to be much too busy for a child, you may think it would be okay right now but please, think a big more logically.” 

“You think I would put my work before you and my child?” You watch the hurt slide across his face, his green eyes filled with a tinge of anger, a deep crease between his brows. You sigh, shaking your head, giving a slight roll of your eyes as well. 

“I’m saying your work should, and will, come first right now. I’m not saying when we do have children that’s how it will be but right now,” You stand, moving to stand in front of him. You sense his anger still but when you push his knees apart and stand between them, your hands resting on his shoulders, he gives a sigh and wraps his arms around you. “your solo career is about to take off and that is what we both need to focus on, okay? And then, after you’ve shown the world what a rockstar you are by yourself, we’ll discuss this again, okay?” He stares up at you, his green eyes wide as he thought this over before he finally smiles, a soft curl of his lips as he nods. 

“Fine,” He gives in, pulling you down to give you a soft kiss before releasing you. “Dinner tonight?” And just like that, the subject was dropped once more. Though it was on Harry, and even your, mind all day. You brought it up to your friends, all of whom thought it was a great idea and immediately got excited. They were convinced you and Harry could handle it but they dropped it when they noticed your irritation on the constant talking of the subject. 

The next time the idea came up, it didn’t end in as calm of a manner. There was no touch, no kiss, no look, and no words that could bring either of you down from your anger. He had made a comment about you not caring about what he wanted or needed and it turned into a full blown argument. 

“Don’t you dare make it seem like because I’m not ready to have children but you are means I don’t care about you!” You scream at him, your eyes wide as you look across the living room at him. He was glaring at you, a look you very rarely ever saw on that handsome face and even more rarely aimed at you. “You’re asking me to change my entire life, I need time to be ready for that, Harry!” 

It continued to escalate between the two of you before you ended up storming out of the living room in a flood of tears to lock yourself away in your bedroom. After calming down, Harry came in to find you curled up on his side of the bed, crying into his pillow. It instantly broke his heart and made him regret everything he had said to you.

“I’m sorry, love,” He comes over to the bed, laying down behind you. His arms wrap around you, pulling your back into his chest as he buries his nose in your hair. 

“I’m just not ready to be pregnant, Harry,” You whisper to him, reaching down to tangle your fingers within his own long fingers that rested on your stomach. He kisses at your neck, nuzzling your skin a bit. 

“I understand,” His voice was so soft and honest, you could tell he was being sincere and finally did get it that you just weren’t ready for a child. “I promise I’ll be okay waiting until you’re ready.” 

After that night, Harry didn’t bring it up again and neither did you even though it was on both of your minds. You would see Harry with Ruby, or some other baby or child he came upon and it would make your heart race and warmth spread through your entire body but when you thought about having one of your own, that warmth was quickly doused by icy cold fear and you knew that you weren’t ready. 

“Nervous?” You ask Harry as you watch him fix his hair a bit, his long fingers pushing through his tousled curls as he looks in the mirror. You run your fingers along the delicate fabric of the fancy dress you had custom made for this evening. 

“Walked a red carpet before,” Harry argues but when he turns to face you he has a small, nervous, smile on his face. You walk over to him, resting a hand on his cheek, smiling up at him.

“It’s okay to be nervous about going to the premier of the movie you make your acting debut in.” He gives in then, wrapping his arms around your hips and sighs, giving a small shrug. 

“Okay, ‘m a little nervous.” Tonight was Harry’s night. Tonight was the premier for ‘Dunkirk’. You were so proud of him, having traveled with him when he went to film, you saw the hard work he put in to it simply by the way he would come back to the hotel everyday simply exhausted. You didn’t go on set with him apart from the very first day, instead doing work and exploring the new place while he worked. You didn’t want to be a distraction, you also wanted to be surprised by what happened. Right now, after seeing previews and short clips, you were afraid Harry drowned in the film, and of course he would give you no answer when you questioned him. 

“I won’t leave your side, I promise.” He leans in then, pressing the most gentle of kisses against your lips, being careful of the lipstick you had applied a few moments before. “So proud of you, Harry.”

“When we get home you gonna show me jus’ how proud of me ya are?” He gives you that smirk that has always made you weak in the knees but you answer it with your own smirk, pressing a more fierce kiss against his lips.

“Who knows, might just have to show you on the car ride to the premier,” You step back, giving him a wink. You laugh at his surprised expression, reaching up to wipe at the lipstick that had transferred to his naturally pink lips. “Shall we go?”

“You drive me crazy,” He grumbles as he follows you from the bedroom, heading for the car that would take you to the premier. You could sense Harry’s nerves as the car headed towards the venue so you try to distract him with conversation but when that doesn’t work you unbuckle your seat belt and slide across the seat, pressing your chest against his arm. He looks over at you, his eyes narrowed. “What ya up to, love?” He questions, skeptical of your intentions but you just smirk and reach up to tangle your fingers in the fine hairs at the back of his neck and pull his lips to yours. 

He is hesitant to kiss back at first, not wanting to show up at his first red carpet with his girlfriends lipstick smeared across his lips but then he realized he truly didn’t care and kissed you back with just as much enthusiasm. You grip at his hair, tugging a bit as he opens his mouth, his tongue greeting yours in it’s familiar way. Kissing Harry would never lose it’s thrill, you’d realized and here, in the back of a car while it headed for his first red carpet for a movie he acted in, the thrill was intensified.

You had to resist the urge to slide your hands down to his waistband as you knew you would be pulling up any second but your fingers were itching for him. You pulled away with a gasp as the car began to slow, caught up in the traffic from the event. You smirk at Harry, both of you trying to catch your breath after such an intense kiss.

“Wish we could continue this, but it will have to wait a few hours, I’m afraid,” He playfully rolls his eyes, a smile on his face as he reaches up to attempt to wipe off the lipstick transferred to his lips. You reach for your bag and pull out a tissue, handing it to him. As he goes to work on his mouth, you pull out a mirror and your lipstick, going about making your lipstick look perfect again. “There, no one will ever know.” You commented after you both were done. Harry gives a small laugh and leans over to kiss your cheek just as the car comes to a stop.

Harry kept you tucked to his side the entire journey down the red carpet except for when he stopped to sign some things for fans but otherwise his arm was tight around your hips, holding you close. You could sense his nerves but as always, Harry kept it from his face and actions, acting as cool and confident as ever. Only you would be able to pick up on the nerves bubbling below the surface. You tried to calm them a bit with a kiss to his cheek every once in a while, being rewarded with a wide grin in return.

Just as you had expected, the movie was absolutely brilliant. Harry’s acting was better than you could even imagine and on the plus side, he didn’t die like you feared. 

“Are we going to stay long?” You question him when the two of you head for a party after the premier. Harry glances over at you, his eyes silently questioning you so you smirk. “Just thought we could go home and celebrate alone,” You run your fingers along the inseam of his designer pants and you feel him tense. 

“Change of plans,” He leans forward to talk with the driver, instructing them to head back to his house instead. 

It was that night, in the middle of an intense moment of pure love, sensation, and lust, you decided to not make Harry stop to put on a condom. You instead said nothing and let yourself be wrapped up in the moment and decided that whatever happened happened even if that meant a child. What better night, anyway. The night that was full of such happiness and pride in the love of your life, what better way to celebrate than to make it known to him that you are ready to have his child, and possibly to conceive one together. 

You didn’t tell Harry what you had decided right away, instead you let a few weeks go by before telling him that you needed to talk. He of course was worried, thinking that you had to say something bad to him but you grin at him when he sits on the couch beside you.

“You remember the night we came home after the Dunkirk premier?” His face instantly broke into a smirk as he remembered the passion shared between the two of you that evening. “Well... I decided something that night.” You see a crease form between his brow then and you give him a small smile.

“And that would be?” He wondered, his mind racing. The irrational and insecure part of his mind thought maybe that you had decided you didn’t want to be with him but why would you wait that long to tell him? 

“I want to have a baby.” You don’t let yourself overthink it or back out of telling him, you just let it out and watch the shock ripple across his handsome face. “We didn’t use a condom that night.” He was silent, his mouth dropping open and his eyes wide. 

“Did you purposely forget to make me put on a condom or did it just happen and you’ve had to change your mind because of it? Because if that’s the case I’m so sorry, I-” You cut him off by pressing your lips to his, your hand resting on his cheek.

“Harry,” You pull back to smile at him. “It’s what I want. I want to be pregnant with your baby.” You stand up, instead curling into his lap. His arms wrap around your hips as he still gives you a slightly shocked look. 

“So, are you...?” He glances down at your stomach and you give a small laugh. 

“I’m not sure. I haven’t had any symptoms yet apart from I’m late.” You confess. “But barely late, so let’s not get our hopes up, okay? I’ll take a test in a few days.” 

The two of you tried to contain the excitement, as you said, not wanting to get your hopes up about it but as soon as the morning sickness started, Harry got that gleam in his eye and then one day after a meeting he came home with a grocery bag in his hand. 

“What’s this?” You wondered, frowning down at the bag but he just smiles and holds it out towards you. 

“I know you said no’ to get our hopes up bu’ I think we’ve waited long enough to know and you’ve been gettin’ sick and you still haven’ had you’re period, I think it’s time to see.” He explains as you open it up and look in to see an at home pregnancy test. You sigh, biting your lip.

“But what if I’m not?” You ask him and he sighs, reaching forward to wrap his long tattooed arms around your hips and pressing a kiss to you forehead. 

“Then we keep tryin’.” You give a small nod then and a smile. You were nervous, you wanted it to say yes, but also were nervous that it wouldn’t and the two of you would be disappointed. Harry had been trying to contain the excitement since you told him but you saw that light in his eye every time you two went out and he saw a baby, he would give you a grin and you knew he was thinking about how soon that could be him with his baby. 

“I don’t want to look.” You turn away from the white stick on the bathroom counter, it being just seconds away from revealing the fate of your entire future. 

“S’okay, I do!” Harry reaches for it and you study his face as he reads it. 

“Well?” You wonder, the anticipation was killing you. He looks up at you and a second later he broke into a wide grin, drops the test on the counter and pulls you into his arms, his lips finding yours. “I guess it says yes?” You pull back, looking up into his green eyes that had actually started to tear up a a bit. 

“’m gonna be a dad.” He whispers, a slight gasp to his voice as he comes to terms with hit. “We made a baby.” He was taking deep breaths as you grin, tears of your own welling up. He drops to his knees then, coming level with your stomach. “My baby is in there.” He looks up at you as he rests his large ringed hands on your stomach and a tear rolls down his cheek. 

“We’re gonna be parents, Harry,” You whisper, your cheeks dampening from tears. You reach out, wiping at his tears as you share a wide grin. 

“Parents...” He tests out the word, seeing how it felt and he couldn’t help but notice just how perfect it was. “I can’t believe it.” He stands then, taking your face in his hands. “I love you so much.” He presses kiss after kiss against your lips then, both of you laughing and with tears still falling. “Let’s go shopping! We need so many things!” You laugh, shaking your head at his over zealousness. 

“How about we curl up on the couch and cuddle for a bit. I think we have plenty of time to go shopping some other day.” You offer up instead and are rewarded with a smile and a small kiss to your lips. 

[nerdytransgirl]

NSFW ask! those questions......... alllll of them.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not sure. I tend to follow my gut when i meet people, so maybe there's some subconscious thoughts? But Personally, I’d say not, since I actively seek out thoughts on looks in order to change them by thinking “what if that was you?”. 

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. Yes they are. I feel so good when I click with a group of people, but when I find that one I can spend 100% of my time/energy with, they are all i need.

3. Are you a virgin?

haha, whats that?

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not in any I like, thats for sure. (samy, shut up. you got your family/live under the same roof, i want mine.)

5. Are you in love?

yes.

6. Are you single this year?

yeah. ish. 

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can, and I have before. 

8. Describe your crush

Smart, funny, nerdy, loves to talk with me, but even the silence in eachothers company was amazing, seeing the stars/moon reminds me of her every night. 9. Describe your perfect mate

^up there.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mmm, yes? people are people, and sometimes they just... click!

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, but not for government benefits. For Love. 

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

No, not without a VERY good explanation with proof. 

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes. bitch, I know I ordered the salad, but I’d cheat on it with your burger anyday.

other than that, no.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yes.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes. Yes I do. ;p

16. Do you have any tattoos?

yes. 27 if you count individual letters separately.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

If it’s someone I love, then the world can fuck off as I make out with them in the middle of the mall.

20. Do you shower every day?

I try to, but water conservation/depression sometimes get in the way.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Yup. I’m cute as heck, so unless you’re Ace, I assume you have feelings for me. 

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably. Do parents ever not think about their kid?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Easily.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Well, I was engaged last year, so who knows! Maybe!

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yes, of course. I’m sick of my heart breaking tho.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes. I didn't think it would be that bad till I lost them.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

mmm, nope.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Kinda? I’ve been lied to in the middle of a break with an understanding we would use the break to improve our relationship.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yup. Besides the standard surgery, I want to modify my body with augmentable mechanical limbs!31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Every day.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yup. Hated it.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yup. Loved all of them. wait, no scratch that, still love them all even if our lives are going in two different directions now.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. Yes I have. 

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Liked? LIKED??!?! I love her. RIP, Alex. I miss you.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup. first gf. she was manipulative and my friends told me, but I wouldn't listen.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes. First time I met them I was scared shitless, but now I’m pretty sure that person would fight for me if someone was a big enough of a dick to me. 

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, everyday for two years now. 

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

haha, yes! but none of you’ll ever hear it!

41. Have you had sex so far this year?Yes, though not as much as my newfound horniness would like me to be having. 

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Umm, depends? Sometimes kissing doesn't start till after the wandering?

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Umm, I’ve dated a lot, but in terms of actual relationships? 5. 

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Nobody. That’s when I was coming out of the closet to myself. 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

I had a partner then, so...

47. How old are you?

Im currently a Quarter of a century old. How about that?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

“Awesome! go get that skan... Skilled tuba player, im assuming.” 

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Currently not applicable. But I do like the intelligence and depth of conversation I’ve had with partners. 

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No. That ship has sailed.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes. 

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A girl named Glenni. She told me she was Ace, but I will admit it took a little longer than that to stop pining for her. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

A few people don’t like my on-again/off-again/complex relationship with a gal in Monterey.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Alex.

55. Share a relationship story.

Watching the sunset on the beach slowly turn into a hamburger because of the clouds. We also had a picnic and I made vegan cheese for her sandwich! Idk what happened, but sadly we are no longer together.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Soft, Squishy, blonde leg/arm hair that makes me look shaved even after 8 months, a scar on my nose, a scar on my arm, crazy strength, shit stamina, gets wet at the beach.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you for messing me up so badly that when I met the next person to make me feel even happier, I chickened out out of fear I’d lose them. 

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Food, Conversational compatibility, cuddles, Adventures, ability to enjoy eachothers company in silence.59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Here

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

7 years. that's the extreme I’m willing to date.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes, usually. Not color or shape, but how they express themselves, if that makes sense.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I’d say something special that shows me how much they care for me. 

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Um, pretty much whatever you do with you and your partners genitals i guess?

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Seeing someone else in a relationship/sexual capacity without my knowledge. 

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Teasing, followed by light touching.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

BDSM, Brat vs Dom. I’ll let you guess what role I like to play. ;p

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Lots of cuddling, movies, and food all at home followed by sexytimes maybe?

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Gay. women are just so hot. 

69. What turns you off?

Lots of things. but being mean is pretty high up there. 

70. What turns you on?

Cheezy romantic crap directed at me.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Giving my partner complete (consensual and trusting with a safeword) control for them to do whatever they want with me. 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

... 

”Good girl.” 

>.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Take me out for fancy food.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Weight. I dont like too skinny or too heavy, but someone with a healthy looking amount of chub I can become immediately attracted to. 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Flew out to visit me. We shared one kiss. 

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Idk, I like to think im pretty sweet to most people in general, but I don't know what the sweetest thing I’ve done for someone is. 

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

if you’re not in your teens, don't date a teen. Otherwise, keep it within a decade to minimize incompatibility brought about by slight differences in culture growing up, especially in this technological age where it seems every six months there’s a new generation influencing the world. My limit is 7 years.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Ever sucked a girls dick on a beach under a new moon? I have. 

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

A few days ago. She’s just better than me in every way it seems. 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

yesterday?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Me, samy, rain, glenni, alex

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

um, my therapist. A new one that i can very easily open up too, and apparently the feelings I’ve shared with her made her want to hug me at the end of our session. 

83. Who was your first kiss with?

NOBODY. thats who. 

she ded 2 me.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

I have no clue. I thought things were going well, but then she told me she wanted to end things romanticly. I accepted, because why not? I don't want to force someone to be with me that doesn't want to. But I do worry it was something i said, something I did. 

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

haha, how do you think i find gf’s?

[nyhne]

Stuffs about the Rosh

Tagged by @lithugraph​ Thanks! I was just thinking about how I was itching to do one of these recently haha

Tagging @erengelion​ @ebooleant​ and @lordsardine​ if ya want c:

01: do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes which I’m very grateful and lucky for- in my own theory it’s due to the fact that they “had” me when they were older than most parents, and I’m an only child. I think it is in their nature that there’s a lot of mutual respect between us, but I do think that having a kid when older can help with that. 

02: who did you last say “i love you” to? Parents probably, or maybe my friend when we parted ways I can’t remember

03: do you regret anything? Kinda regretting not peeling the celery for this bolognese sauce. In my defense, this is literally my first time actually cooking with celery (don’t really like it on its own so didn’t grow up eating/cooking a lot of it)

04: are you insecure? *finger guns*

05: what is your relationship status? pretty dang single

07: what did you last eat? Just finished dinner- made some simplified bolognese sauce tonight which I thought came out pretty well c: It’s a sauce I’ve been wanting to try for a while and it wasn’t nearly as grueling as I thought it would be which was cool

08: played any sports? haha no I got into athletic activity a bit late in life and even now I’m not really athletic, I more just like to exercise

09: do you bite your nails? Just the skin around them. I recently learned that’s what they mean when they say “biting the cuticles”!

10: when was your last physical fight? oh boy I was raised in a pretty safe childhood

11: do you like someone? Do you mean like, like like someone?

12: have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yeah lol college

13: do you hate anyone at the moment? nah not really a “hating” person

14: do you miss someone? Absolutely

15: have any pets? My cat Humanity who’s back home with my parents. My friend/near-future roommate and I very nearly adopted a cat on Saturday though lol

16: how exactly are you feeling at the moment? Actually really happy. It was a good day overall, and then my internship supervisor unexpectedly talked to me after everybody else had left in the office and somewhat officially offered me an extension on my internship (since I’ll of course still be in DC for school this year) which, ahhhhhh so this was something I had been a little bummed about, because I knew that they knew I was going to be in the area even after my internship technically ended, but nobody really brought up whether I could do another internship/continue it with them in the fall and I didn’t want to ask because a) I still have my other job so no internship would just mean that I’m working more and b) I have a pretty good relationship with my supervisors/coworkers and so I didn’t want to put them or me into a position of saying “Well we know you’re in DC still but uh we don’t have an internship for you” so I just left it at not asking, and I knew applications for the fall were already in and they had been talking about it so I figured that was that. So this honestly caught me off guard, and then it was extra sweet because apparently the reason they hadn’t said anything thus far was because my two supervisors were apparently trying to figure out if there was a way for me to work and get paid for it which is just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh wow that was really just so sweet of them and meant so much to me especially that my supervisor kept stressing that she and her co-supervisor were really pleased and impressed with my work ;;o;; So that really REALLY made my day and I honestly went home smiling all the way on the bus C: And then I had a lot of fun preparing the bolognese sauce and I thought it turned out well which also felt good- especially because I’ve gotten a number of compliments on my food when I bring it in for lunch which really means a lot to me 

Sorry lots of self-touting stuff there, been wanting to get that out all day haha

17: ever made out in the bathroom? gonna be frank and say I’m not sure

18: are you scared of spiders? More the “”jump scare”” when you seen one unexpectedly

19: would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Probably not

20: where was the last place you snogged someone? Oh boy that was probably back in Sophomore year :X

21: what are your plans for this weekend? I’ll be moving apartments! I’m really excited about it c:

22: do you want to have kids? how many? If by kids you mean cats then like ten idk 

23: do you have piercings? how many? Just ears right now- three lobe in my right, and one lobe and two cartilage in my left. Honestly would kind of love to get an eyebrow piercing but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Or the septum piercing I’m still kinda dreaming about :C

24: what is/are/were your best subject(s)? Uh I guess the subjects I put the most effort into are usually foreign languages, writing classes, and history depending on the class

25: do you miss anyone from your past? Of course

26: what are you craving right now? Nothing actually, I’m pretty content with everything for the first time in a while

27: have you ever broken someone’s heart? Idk probably not?

28: have you ever been cheated on? Lol nah

29: have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Never dated

30: what’s irritating you right now? Nothing actively- the background annoyances right now are still my (current) roommate, one of my internship coworkers, and my last paycheck from the restaurant- although that’s not really an annoyance, more just like wow I really have no idea how this payroll works

31: does somebody love you? My parents probably!

32: what is your favourite colour? You know I keep saying red but to be honest it’s probably blue or yellow/orange more at this point

33: do you have trust issues? To be honest I probably do lol

34: who/what was your last dream about? Honestly no idea- I don’t really dream much

35: who was the last person you cried in front of? Oh boy it uh would have been back when I was in Berlin...  

36: do you give out second chances too easily? Yeah, but I’m not sure if I’d say “too easily.” Like I usually know what I’m getting myself into, but I’ll definitely give out second chances

37: is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive, ultimately, I think

38: is this year the best year of your life? Probably not, but I value what I’ve learned this year and how much I think I’ve grown

39: how old were you when you had your first kiss? Uh probably like 18/19? Idk

40: have you ever walked outside completely naked? No I think

51: favourite food? Pasta of any variation/combination

52: do you believe everything happens for a reason? Hmm

53: what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Let my roommate in because our other roommate lost her keys so this roommate has to message one of us to get into the building

54: is cheating ever okay? Whew

55: are you mean? To be honest I can be pretty petty and nasty, it’s just that I try and rein it in and be conscious of it

56: how many people have you fist fought? Lots (2) of questions about fighting

57: do you believe in true love? Eh maybe?

58: favourite weather? Sunny but not blazingly hot, light breeze, fresh air, can be either spring or fall

59: do you like the snow? Sure

60: do you wanna get married? Lolll no

61: is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I prefer “babe” to be honest- and I use it as kind of a general term of endearment for people whether or not I’m romantic/actually friends with them lol I’m very much a “babe/darling/sweetheart” person

62: what makes you happy? I like it when others are happy

63: would you change your name? If I could I would

64: would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Again, pretty sure the last person I kissed on the lips was in Sophomore year so probably would not want to kiss them again lol

65: your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Depends on who the friend is but to be honest I’m kinda bad at confrontations so I probably would handle it in a Not Ideal way

66: do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Definitely!

67: who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Chatted with one of the security guards at the museum on my way out. Honestly the security guards are one of the parts I’m happiest about with staying with this internship for longer because I love talking to them 

68: who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? The guard at the museum! Today’s conversations included Why you stay up at night/can’t fall asleep, What ‘serious’ problems matter to you, and Sending stuff back home to your family. I got into the galleries a lot for my project, so I get to interact with the security guards a lot C: 

69: do you believe in soulmates? Eh

70: is there anyone you would die for? I hope that if anyone was in danger in front of me that I would be willing to die for them, frankly 

[the-v-gan]

☆…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…☆

Tagged by @marksonislovely (thanksssss mommmm ♡)

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20ppl… THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phonecall: Home 3. Text message: my friendu @blurguppy 4. Song you listened to: GOT7 ‘Go higher’ (you can imagine me turning up on the bus as i travel to school) 5. Time you cried: the two nights before (I watched Fly in Seoul Final and the boys was just so emotional and my heart just) 6. Dated someone twice: nope (i am a virgin at dating, so don’t even ask) 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no (i am also a virgin at this) 8. Been cheated on: ehhhhhh if friends are considered, yes. (I SWEAR) 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ?? (what is this even) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (also virgin at this omg i need a life)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Red, white, blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yeahhhhhhh

16. Fallen out of love: Fell in love instead (with 7 boys) (where all my ahgases at)

17. Laughed until you cried: always

18. Found out someone was talking about you: nope (no shade pls)- WAIT THERE WAS

19. Met someone who changed you: yessie  ♡

20. Found out who your friends are: yes, in a good way

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope (i am a child ok someone teach me on how to live a life) (and my facebook is prolly ded)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: ehhhhh idk haaaaaaaaa once again what facebook

23. Do you have any pets: no (I want a golden retriever and all the types of dogs omg♡)

24. Do you want to change your name: nope nope nope (even though my friend has brought back that spongebob joke)

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: dinner with my fam; received gifts from friends omg they are the sweetest

26. What time did you wake up: what is wake up, more like wake me up inside (i cant wake up)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing mark’s ceci photos until my eyes felt like it was falling out

28. Name something you can’t wait for: graduation (??) (i want my diploma)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour agoooooooo 

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: hmmmmm maybe my sweat glands (am i answering this right) because my skin is raining 24/7 i swear its hot all the time out here.

31. What are you listening right now: listening to the sound of the air conditioner in the quiet lab (and i heard footsteps in here) (this place isnt haunted right)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no, but I have talked to someone called Jerry (tom holland talk to me pls)

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when someone gets butthurt so easily and is gets salty about it like what even 

34. Most visited Website: tumblr is bae

35. i don’t know what the question was haha + 36. same + 37. same -no idea what this is but anyway+38 same (i’ll just go in order by number ha) what?😂 (what is this what is this what is this ok i should move on)

38. Haircolor: brown black-ish (i have been on this earth for 18 years and i still dk what color is my hair)

39. Long or short hair: medium (ah ha not even in the options of this question)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes (always, on all the hot boys) (in kpop) (ok srsly, yes)

41. What do you like about yourself: i love that i love food and I can draw (does that count ok idk lalalalala) (draw all my baes wooohooooooooo)

42. Piercings: one on each ear

43. Bloodtype: A

44. Nickname: Squrriel (i freaking swear this bobsponge joke)

45. Relationship status: single ladies all the single ladies

46. Zodiac: LEO LEO LEO LEO 

47. Pronouns: he, she

48. Favorite TV Show: 13 reasons why and if anime counts, attack on titan (s3 next year yayyyyyy) and if kdrama counts, Weight-lifting fairy Kim Bokju (i ship)

49. Tattoos: nope nope

50. Right or left hand: rightie ♡

51. Surgery: nope nope (unless my birth was counted) (ok maybe not, natural birth babyyyyyyyyy)

52. Piercing: errrrrrr my ears (?) (i answered that?)  refer to 42

53. Sport: i am an unhealthy artist who sits on her ass all day

55. Vacation: been to hongkong, malaysia, thailand and taiwannnnnn (i wanna go to oppa-land aka S.Korea aka where my baes are at)

56. Pair of trainers: what does this question mean ok someone help 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I love home cooked food, preserved foods, outside food (i love food)

58. Drinking: water is bae

59. I’m about to: go buy food (after i answering everything) (when will this end)

61. Waiting for: this to end (my stomach is screaming at me)

62. Want: happiness to the world and health to my fam and friends

63. Get married: waiting for one of my 7 husbands to accept my proposal ok but srsly, yes i hope.

64. Career: unemployed; futurn intern who needs cash now (hire me pls) 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs (i havent done this kissing thing omg)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes 

67. Shorter or taller: taller for bae but anything fits

68. Older or younger: age is just a number (its actually a word haaaaaa)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms (btw have yall seen mark tuan’s arms omg i died and revive and died again)

71. Sensetive or loud: loudddddd (no sensitive omg i cant take that)

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship (duh)

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no no no (why)

75. Drank hard liquor: nope (i am alrdy going to be 19 and i havent done shit)

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i have been wearing them (my glasses) for more than a decade, i would slap myself if i lost them

77. Turned someone down: i got no one to turn down (cries into the abyss) 

78. Sex in the first date: nooooooooo what this even i havent even kissed anyone whatttttt

79. Broken someones heart: errrrrrr idk (maybe that boy in preschool) (he was shorter than me and was butthurt) (but it was just tru)

80. Had your heart broken: yes (irl and also by all the korean boys who are snatching my hearts ok stahp yall)

81. Been arrested: um not arrested but got arrested into the got7 fandom haaaaaaaaaa guilty

82. Cried when someone died: yup

83. Fallen for a friend: hmmmmmmm no yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: errrrrrrr most times

85. Miracles: YES

86. Love at first sight: yes (still waiting for this to happen irl)

87. Santa Claus: I believed in santa because i thought my dad was santa 

88. Kiss in the first date: no (once again i have never tried this)

89. Angels: yes

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: grace

91. Eyecolor: dark-brown

92. Favorite movie: i am a trash for good movies esp horror (even tho i get scared all the time and ask myself why all the time)

Tagging: @umma-jy @wang7gae @marksseunie @bxmbxmn @blurguppy @emiipopo @the-assgoblin (i need more tumblr friends omg help)

do it if you wanttttttt (so that i can readdddd)

[ams-parker]

The Cool Taggy Thing

Rules: You Must Answer These 85 Statements And Tag 10 People

I was tagged by @empressravenrose

I don’t know anyone to tag so i’m going to chose some random people i follow:

@drarryruinedme @levi-snk @haleykinz @jilliancares @nebularanarchy @marrieddorks @natepat @shitpost-no-kyojin @ruinedchildhood @crafting4phanm8

<u>The Last…<u>

1. Drink: Coffee

2. Phone Call: My mum telling me where she was

3. Text Message: Asking my friend why the fuck she would add me into a group chat of people i don't know

4. Song You Listened To: Deadpool Rap by Teamheadkick

5. Time You Cried: Um… a week ago having a panic attack, however i rarely ever cry otherwise.

6. Dated Someone Twice: Never been of a date.

7. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: This one girl when i was nine who i kissed more times than i can remember in a bathroom stall so some gay spicy underage action there.

8. Been Cheated On: Considering i’ve never been on a date or relationship i truly ponder how someone could have cheated on me… however some secrets of the universe simply don't give answers.

9. Lost Someone Special: I’m not close to any relatives of mine, so no.

10. Been Depressed: I’ve been depressed since the middle of 2015 what are you on about.

11. Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: I wish i had enough alcohol to forget all my regrets but such woe befalls a 13-year-old.

<u> 3 Favourite Colours <u>

12. Black

13. Purple

14. Light Pink

<u>In The Last Year Have You…<u>

15. Made New Friends: Hell yeah and i’m still shook i could physically function enough in a social situation to do it.

16. Fallen Out Of Love: Out of fandoms and fictional characters yeah

17.  Laughed Until You Cried: A few times

18.  Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: No

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: Are you talking about fandoms cause if so hell yeah

20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are: Turns out my closest friend is Batman. I’m still really shocked and i am having trouble dealing with it. I mean, my other friend turned out to be Spiderman, and that was difficult enough to handle.

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: Facebook what is this facebook you speak of.

<u>General<u>

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: Do you think i have friends let alone fucking facebook friends (alliteration is awesome)

23. Do You Have Any Pets: A kitten and a dog, plus a few fish they count too

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: Only my last name. I want to change it to my grandmother’s maiden last name, which is Emeralds and is fucking awesome with my first name compared to my current last name.

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: Woke up at 5am to go to band, brought cake i made the night before to school however none of my friends were there that day and i had a panic attack in the bathroom so i called my mum and i spent the rest of the day on my laptop and eating my cake. Yay.

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: Around 12:30am

27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Watching Deadpool

28. Name Something You Can’t Wait For: The second movie for Spiderman and Deadpool even though those aren’t coming for at least a year. Also the third season of Atttack on Titan.

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mum: Two hours ago

30. What Is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: My continued existence here

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton

32. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: No… but i wish i could talk to Tom Holland...

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: Life and existence in general.

34. Most Visited Website: Porn.hub. Haha, jk, it’s really Hentaihaven.com… but seriously probably Archive of our own.

35. Hair Colour: I literally just dyed it today so currently it’s dark red

36. Long Or Short Hair: Long-medium

37. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: So many actors… ugh.

38. What Do You Like About Yourself: My hair is pretty swaggy i must admit and I have an incredible ability to repress things.

39. Piercings: None

40. Blood Type: I forgot

41. Nicknames: Satan, Ams, daddy, babe

42. Relationship Status: I may be pansexual in my sexual preference however i am ace when it comes to romantic yeah it’s confusing as fuck

43. Zodiac: Cancer (to society)

44. Pronouns: She, her

45. Favourite TV Show: You can’t make me decide

46. Tattoos: None

47. Right Or Left Handed: Right

48. Surgery: None

49. Piercing: Already answered lol

50. Sports: Tennis, used to do swimming full time but now it’s only for holidays and shit and a tiny bit of netball

51. Vacation: Currently on the second week of my winter holidays. We were meant to go down to the coast in a few days however my mum ran into some medical problems so we won't be going

52. Pair Of Trainers: Navy and white i guess? Not sure what brand

<u>More General<u>

53. Eating: Just ate two entire punnets of raspberries

54. Drinking: Mmmm strawberry milk...

55. I’m About To: After i finish this i will probably go cry in a corner and browse netflix more

56. Waiting For: My reason to live and also a second fucking deadpool movie

57. Want: Death. Money. Everyone loving me and me being a badass queen. Lots of things.

58. Get Married: Fuck no unless you’re talking about marrying all my twenty cats

59. Career: An author, preferably, and if not then a psychiatrist.

60. Hugs Or Kisses: I don’t mind a hug as long as you’re warm and comfy.

61. Lips Or Eyes: Eyes.

62. Shorter Or Taller: Taller.

63. Older Or Younger: Uhhh don’t really understand this question but if you’re talking about my age then i’m younger

64. Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: Nice stomach

65. Hookup Or Relationship: Hookup

66. Troublemaker Or Hesitant: I don’t really understand this question either, however if you’re talking about the person i would prefer more than hesitant is my answer.

67. Kissed A Stranger: No

68. Drank Hard Liquor: Haha yeah but only a tiny bit like one tenth of a shot

69. Lost Glasses/Contacts: Bitch look at me with my 20/20 vision. Pun intended.

70. Turned Someone Down: Who would ask me in the first place

71. Sex On The First Date: What first date?

72. Broken Someone’s Heart: No but that would be fun

73. Had Your Heart Broken: Wait what heart?

74. Been Arrested: Not yet.

75. Cried When Someone Died: No.

76. Fallen For A Friend: I’m not really sure? Idk i’m confused about my feelings.

<u>Do You Believe In…<u>

77. Yourself: Now if i answered yes that would be the best joke on the planet.

78. Miracles: No.

79. Love At First Sight: Too cliche for me.

80. Santa Claus: Haha no.

81. Kiss On The First Date: Do you think i’ve ever been on a first date

82. Angels: Only in Castiel. Then again, being an aesthetic, not really.

<u>Other<u>

83. Current Best Friend’s Name: I’m not sure who classifies as a best friend or not so i’m going to say i don't have one

84. Eye Colour: Brown

85. Favourite Movie: Don't make me fucking decide you little shit

[suckitsurveys]

Are you currently wearing anything red? I have a tiny red bow on my underwear.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Nope.

What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted? Capers.

What was the last food you got a random craving for? I don’t remember.

Has anyone/anything made you angry recently? Yes, always.

Who did you last go to the cinema with? My niece earlier this year to see Moana.

What was the last song that got stuck in your head? How Far I’ll Go from Moana is now stuck in my head thanks to the previous question haha.

When was the last time you listened to it? It’s been a while.

Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking? I have no idea.

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? My friend Mary’s birthday was yesterday. Also America’s.

How old were they? 37.

What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I have no idea, I have to plan meals for the rest of the week at some point today.

Is your best friend in a relationship? Lydia and Sarah both are in relationships. Randal is not.

How old were you 5 years ago? 22/23.

What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Singing, I guess.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’? The temp Creighton.

What colour are that person’s eyes? I have no idea.

Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Veggies!

What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film? I guess Spirited Away.

Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like? Just good ol’ fashioned hair ties.

What’s your favourite type of insect? Lighting bugs.

What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect? Earwigs.

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Stephanie.

What’s his/her favourite food? I’m not sure. I’ll ask her next time I see her.

Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do? Yes! We had a 4th of July bbq and ate a bunch of burgers and drank yummy drinks and jello shots and had a bonfire going and lit some sparklers and Stephanie’s friend brought actual fireworks and I got to light a couple!

When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party? I don’t know if I have ever been to a party you would call “fancy.”

Who/what did you dress as? ^

What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it? Comedy, and yes.

Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it? I am actually going to make a sandwich for lunch. If sloppy joes count as sandwiches that is.

If your best friend was a fictional character, who would he/she be? Why? A mix of Gayle from Bob’s Burgers and Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Because she’s basically both of them already.

Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation? I can overhear my coworkers talking in the other room.

Did it make you feel awkward? Nope.

What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning? This, haha.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One, but it’s repeated twice.

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? No idea.

What flavour was the last cupcake you ate? Stephanie’s friend made brownies in a cupcake pan for the party yesterday. They were fudge with M&Ms in them.

When was the last time you complimented a stranger? I don’t remember.

What’s your favourite milkshake flavour? Vanilla.

Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently? Eh.

Do you know how old your favourite actor is? She just turned 33 I believe.

Is there anything worrying you right now? Getting back on a healthy eating plan.

If so, have you talked to anyone about it? Mark. Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have? To lose 30lbs in like 2 weeks.

When will you next see your best friend? When Lydia comes back from vacation; when Sarah comes to Chicago/Wisconsin for my wedding celebration; when Randal is free again.

Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? We have to go to dad’s to stay over with my grandmother for the next 10 days and I don’t want to fucking do that.

What’s the age difference between your parents? My father is older by 2 years.

You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? Butter pecan.

Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently? I’ve been eating so many burgers lately.

When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it? I want to tell off my brother in law so bad.

Why did you choose not to do it? I have to work with him and I don’t want it to effect the relationship I have with my sister.

When was the last time you ate an apple? A couple of weeks ago.

What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you? They say a lot of nice things.

Have you ever experienced a hangover? Yes, currently. Oops.

What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time? Some sort of Bosnian sausage yesterday, I forget the name of it.

Did you like it? I did! I was a little weary of it because it’s apparently made with veal, but I took one for the team and it was really good. I probably wouldn’t seek it out to eat on my own though.

What is your least favourite pizza topping? Pineapple. Fight me. Also I don’t like green peppers or onions on my pizza. But I do like all three of those things off pizza.

What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in? Everyone seems to love Mark and they all say he’s perfect for me. :)

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’. Salsa!

The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? My sister came to my housewarming party a couple weeks ago.

Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to? Good question.

Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now? I wish Mark was awake to discus food with me.

Why that person, specifically? ^

When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind? I woke up at 4:30 with a bad tummy ache, so that.

At this moment, what are you most looking forward to? Weddinggggg.

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)? I have a honeysuckle one in the kitchen and a vanilla one in the living room. We also have two wax burners that both have coconut in them

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? Yes, in September my friends and family and I are going to the Dells to an indoor waterpark to celebrate me and Mark’s wedding.

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? Eric, Creighton, and Tony. Coworkers.

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer? Nope.

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? This morning when she crawled on me.

Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song? My Heart Will Go On, naturally.

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’. Crab legs.

Does the person love/like have a car? What colour is it? Nope, he uses my car, which is silver.

Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? On something currently? I get compliments on my Pusheen sweatshirt constantly.

Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? Yes, my green tea latte.

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? A French Martini.

Did you like it? Yes I did.

Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I have not.

The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? 5 years older.

When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? I refuse to stop referring to my brother in law as a temp even though he asked me to because that’s what he fucking is.

What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? His face is nice. And his arms. And pretty much all of him.

How many people have you hugged today? 0.

Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? Nah.

Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? Tragic Kingdom from No Doubt.

Is there anyone on your mind atm? Nah.

The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone? Didn’t you ask this?

Is your birth year an odd or even number? Odd.

Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today? Nope.

What did you have for lunch yesterday? I didn’t have a legit lunch. I had some Chex mix and a bloody mary, haha.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? What’s their sign? I’m not sure actually. She told me her birthday but I’m blanking. Maybe it says it on her Facebook. March 6th, which would make her a Pisces.

How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Just the one.

What are your parents’ middle names? Irvin and Kay.

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s? Yes.

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more? One kitten. I would like 17 more kittens.

Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks? I don’t like sparking water, if that’s what you mean.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? Not really.

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night? Is it just me or is they survey repeating a lot of questions? I may still be stuck on the survey I took before this one though.

Which friend do you confide in most? Ellen and Kayla, usually.

Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes? This is definitely a few surveys smushed together, but oh well. <--Ahh, see I knew something was fishy with this survey.

Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them: Nope. I actually just took it out of a ponytail a minute ago.

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? This morning, my stomach is feeling weird.

If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today? ^

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? I guess some girl named Liz in grade school. I have her on facebook and we kinda still talk but not really.

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? I love my middle name. I think it’s super interesting.

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? My dad bought me this shirt in Arizona. And my engagement ring was technically a gift?

Have you received any compliments about your appearance today? Nope.

Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Nah.

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged? Nope.

What colour is your shampoo bottle? Clear.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Nah. She’s cute but other than that, nothing.

Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? Nope.

Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today? Yeah, Stephanie is my neighbor and the person I mentioned two questions above.

[senpai-hawaiian-roll]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? -Yer a make out drunk. lol

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? -idk about her but I caught feelings for drunk her…

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? -No as long as they had it under control and was sharing.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? -4, kesi lol

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? -she was drunk I was drunk and doing drugs

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? -every single fucking time

7. What does your last received text say? -why are you upset

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? -we were drunk we kissed a bunch

9. Where was your last kiss at? -my bed

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? -yesterday night (may 13th 2017)

11. What do you drink in the morning? -anything from almond milk to root beer or water

12. Where did you sleep last night? -my bed in my bedroom

13. Do you think relationships are hard? -they are harder to get into then they are harder to keep, if I could do either or :/

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? -I would like to go back further, I need to stop dwelling in the past …

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? -she was drunk and i was drunk to but cocaine brought me conscious and she said things that made me like her … She doesn’t remember any of it so she wouldn’t understand but I would just sit there quietly I hope she wouldn’t notice

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? -rainy, I miss the rain

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? - other then my grandfather and father no.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? -I’m in my Calvin Klein

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? -I honestly do not know I would like to be but honestly I do not know

20. Does anyone like you? -haha I like myself, there are and it’s annoying I want someone else but I just can’t be grateful for what I have huh …

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? -the last person I kissed

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? -no but it’s pretty gay that I caught some type of feelings for them

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? -myself.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? -i want a bunch of them rn

25. In the past week have you cried? -no i haven’t cried in a while. Which is a good thing cause I use to cry over her. And no she doesn’t deserve my tears.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? -pit bull. Love'em

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? -out the shower, in front of the mirror, jamming music.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? -no but the last person I kissed did

29. Do you think you’re old? -a little to young to be feeling this old

30. Do you like text messaging? -hate that’s how I ruin everything.

31. What type of day are you having? -it’s night. It the day was a solid wtf “I guess okay”

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? -no everyone around me has them a normal looking noise is now more lit lmao.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? -cold as hell bundled up with a few people that come to mind

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? - she means a little more then she should and I hate it. But then there’s her and I don’t know why she means so much.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? -solid has a tooth brush at my crib, relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? - I’m simply complicated

37. What song are you listening to? -The Weeknd I’m listening to everything The Weeknd made

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? -I always try to.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? - yeah and I believe she doesn’t deserve to.

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? -her attitude, intellect, her drunk clingyness, she’s wildly out going haha her laugh the way she just took over me and I didn’t care, shes oblivious to how hard I’m trying. She’s beautiful. It’s her energy. I’m probably outrageous rn but it’s her energy it’s like our energy produces a ora around us and her energy loves to grab mine by the neck and force it to bend to its will but mine is stronger then hers but allows it too till it has to step up.

41. When did you last receive a text message? -a few hours ago, it’s 3am idk why I woke up this early.

42. What is wrong with you right now? -fell in love off of a pretty much night of perfectness but she was drunk, also gave the wrong person the right parts of me. I care to much.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? -I know her all to well and she can’t remember a damn thing

44. Does anyone disgust you? -people who hate

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? -I would. I really would.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? - I’ve been in better moods this one isn’t bad honestly.

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? -Melanie

48. What color shirt are you wearing? - I’m not wearing a shirt lol

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? -“I don’t remember”

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? - like every person I come across. There are so many people that still believe in me. But shit happens ya know.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? -idk, because I say I hate her. But if she was to turn around and say nothing but “I want you” I’d crawl back to her. Every single time.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? -yeah

53. Do you like rain? - i need it rn.

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? -no as long as it never consumed them like it did me. Oh and they better share.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? -I think that’s what I’m doing rn. But I think I should get to know her more. You know when she remembers that I know her lol

56. Do you like to cuddle? -I love it better then sex,

57. Are you shy? -prolly be better if I was

58. Do you get along with girls? -a little to well?

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? -no, but I’d like to work on that.

60. What do you carry with you at all times? -doubt

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? -yes, I believe my will is stronger then negative spirits or energy

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? -yes I just hope I would be able to show that.

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? -it was complicated

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? -yeah but I prefer. To do it to her since I am the guy.

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? -other then the fact this beautiful girl came into my life, I don’t remember.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 17/18/19

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? - don’t do my nails considering I’m a dude but if def love to learn them myself but rather end up paying.

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? -leopard, lol

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? -no I want a transformer thing tho

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? - Lil Wayne he’s the goat

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? -iPhone duh.

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? -ages ago Pizza Hut is bad news.

73. Do you like diet soda? - I like the way they taste but do prefer original over diet.

74. What color are the walls in your room? -Off white.

75. Are you 16 or older? -What’s 9 + 10 lol

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? - I have seen some episodes. But I do not follow.

77. Do you have a job? -2 bartending jobs.

78. What are your initials? -AVKPPK But I just use AK

79. Did you ever have braces? -no lucky my teeth are purttttty straight

80. Are you from the south? -west coast MF!!!!

81. What does your last status on facebook say? -I can’t remember, I’m sorry

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? -no …

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? -mi madre. She’s. Number one.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? -Neither I’m built like a square lol

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? -beauty and the beast.

86. Do you smoke? - yeah when I’m drunk and on drugs

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? -slips

88. Is your phone touch screen? -everyone’s phone is lol

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? -bed head for life

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? -never mom was always understanding lol.

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? - a nice beautiful vast lake

92. Have you ever made out in a car? - 1 too many times lol

93. …Had sex in a car? - 1too many times lol

94. Are you single or in a relationship? -single :/

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? -making out naked in my bed

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? -4th of July

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? -whenever I’m able to take a decent photo

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? -I think so.

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? -blacked out the same?

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? -no I hate no one.

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? -kind of like 7 but I wasn’t scared. I take responsibility for my actions.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: -love is our drug/ your love is my drug? Idk it’s one of those.

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? -not really.

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? -haha my little brother when we both were young would would I now not really.

[purplesurveys]

885

What Rhymes With “AKE”?

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

1. Does any part of your body ache right now? Not at the moment, but I will say that I’m now sporting several gashes on my arms and fingers thanks to Cooper’s feisty teeth. His grip is a lot firmer now so there’ve been a few times where he was able to grab onto my skin harder than I expected while we played. 2. How do you like your steak? Barely cooked. Blood oozing once I cut into it and all that. 3. Which bone did you last break? I haven’t broken a bone before. 4. How long is your break at work? Back in my internship, we had an hour for lunch and then we were allowed 30 minutes to take a nap. That was awesome to find out, that my boss would give her employees nap time :) The office lights were all turned off and I would even be told off if they caught me working. 5. What did you do over Christmas break? How about spring break? We don’t have spring break. For Christmas I mostly stayed off of social media. Gabie allowed me to open my presents earlier than the 24th because she got me painting stuff and she wanted me to have something to do before Christmas, which is the period where I get most anxious and depressed. Then for Christmas my siblings and I got a Switch from our parents, so most of post-Christmas was spent getting acquainted with it.

6. Do you know anyone named Jake? My fact-checking instructor was a Jake and I absolutely hated his guts. I really don’t like it when a teacher says shit like “I could very much fail you all right now” and says it proudly, and I don’t like how he refused to help and correct us in our articles just because “what [we’re] supposed to do was already covered in a past lecture and [we] should know better.” That’s why we’re enrolled in your class dumbass. We want to learn, but we’re bound to make mistakes too. Anyway, that was four months of pure hell. 7. What’s your favorite thing to bake? I don’t bake a lot but baking cookies has always been nostalgic for me. I love when I get to do it with friends or when my dad allows me to help out in the kitchen. 8. Favorite kind of cake and favorite kind of frosting? Cheesecake. My favorite frosting is either cream cheese or chocolate, especially on my cupcakes.

9. Do you know someone who is fake? Most of the popular girls in my high school were fake but idk, they’ve since seemed genuine in the few times I talked to some of them throughout college. 10. Which lake is closest to you, geographically? Taal. 11. How would you like to make a difference in the world? Ending up the complete opposite of my mom. I just want to prove that some kids don’t always end up the same as the shitty environment they were brought up in. 12. When’s the last time you used a rake? Maybe in high school? We’d have special days where we were assigned to help our janitors and other auxiliary staff ~as a way of saying thanks~ and it’s likely I used a rake at least once. 13. What would you like to take a class in? If I could, I’d take all the history courses that exist. But other than that, I’d love to take a class that covered different countries’ cultures. It was too late when I found out my school has a department that offers classes that taught Japanese, Turkish, Russian, etc. cultures, so that’s a bummer. 14. Have you ever been to a wake before? Yes, a handful. I’ve been to the wake of the relative of my dad’s friend, Sophie, my grandfather...Nacho’s was the most recent. 15. Have you ever used the phrase “for Pete’s sake?!” Maybe once or twice. I’ve gone with its more inappropriate sibling, for fuck’s sake far more often. 16. When’s the last time you felt wide awake? Saturday evening. 17. Do you know how to change the brakes on your car? No. I always forget that you can do that, lol. 18. Do you enjoy listening to Drake? Sure, especially his songs that came out while I was in high school so from 2012-2016. Again, nostalgia just hits differently when it comes to his older songs. 19. When’s the last time you’ve seen snowflakes? Never. 20. Have you ever been called a flake before? I don’t think so, no. 21. When’s the last time you felt your body quake? Two days ago. I walked into the kitchen as my dad was kicking away a ball of dust and I thought it was a rat, so my whole body shuddered and shook lol 22. Favorite type of milkshake? Anything unhealthily sweet. 23. Do you ever try to shake something in order to get it to work again? That’s how I was when I still used TV remotes. I don’t shake things as much anymore. 24. Are you afraid of snakes? Only venomous ones, and ones that can swallow humans alive. I’m not scared of all snakes, in fact I’ve held a few and put them around me in the past. 25. Has your life ever been at stake before? Not that I can recall. 26. Have you ever had to do picture retake at school? I don’t know what this means since we don’t use this exact term, but I’ve needed my college ID re-done TWICE because I also ended up losing my replacement ID haha. In the end, my mom ended up finding my actual original ID just hiding in one of my bags. 27. Are remakes of things better, or the originals? Either have the potential to be better, it’s not black-or-white. Like I’ll always prefer the original 1976 Carrie movie, but I know that the most recent adaptation of Little Women got very good reviews too. 28. Do you call them hotcakes or pancakes? Pancakes. 29. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. 30. What’s the last mistake you made? I shared an article about an update on Naya Rivera but I didn’t notice until after sharing it that it came from TMZ, and we all know how shittily they handed Kobe Bryant’s death. Immediately deleted my post after seeing that no other news outlet had confirmed that it was her body that was found.

Still, the team in charge of finding her in the lake confirmed that it was her a few hours after the TMZ report came out. I’m absolutely gutted. 31. What activity would you like to partake in right now? Any activity that would involve going outside. 32. Have you ever had a teacake before? How about a clambake? I’ve had neither. Clambake looks super appetizing though. It reminds me of a seafood paella that’s served at a local Fil-Mex place I love going to :) 33. What is one of your keepsakes? A Ferrari keychain that JM gave me and our other orgmates as a souvenir from his trip to Singapore to watch the Grand Prix last year. 34. Do you like cornflakes? They’re okay. I’d rather eat them as it is though, and not as a cereal. 35. Have you ever made a fruitcake before? Nope. 36. Do you like strawberry shortcake? How about coffeecake? I’ve had a few slices of coffee cake before. 37. Who’s the last person you gave a handshake to? Probably one of the applicants in our org. 38. Favorite flavor of cheesecake? Oreo! And New York-style. 39. Have you ever felt an earthquake before? Yes. Nothing too extreme though, like no books falling off the shelves or anything like that. They were strong enough for it to be just noticeable.

[memorylang]

Reflections | #32 | March 2020

While in transit to, on and between flights on my journey from Mongolia through Europe to America, I reflected. I processed with ample free hours the Lenten days that met me. I considered how God led my steps. 

So this story runs parallel to the handful I’ve written lately. We’ll backtrack before we move forward, then reaching a huge moment for my leaving Mongolia. 

That pre-dawn, Thursday, March 5 morning, the 49 of my group rode the coach bus from near our Peace Corps office, out of town to the airport. In time, we’d be above the clouds again and again. From the stillness of transiting, came my reflections.

First Friday of Lent 

Hard to believe my journey began Ash Wednesday night, a mere week prior to takeoff. Now I take us back to my city of service last Friday, Feb. 28. 

Like I shared before, I felt pretty exhausted by the time I reached church, with my frantic 36 hours since our evacuation command. And so, with Lent’s first Friday of Lent, a Catholic day of fasting and prayer, I figured no better time to pray off stress. 

I’d come by earlier that day to drop off the Mongolian missal and hymnal books I borrowed the month before. I also gifted the church my copy of, “Rediscover the Saints,” having finished it my week before Tsagaan Sar. Parish staff thanked me and invited me to come back that day if I had free time.  

So I returned. Before I could settle in, staff invited me for lunch. I’d never turn down Mongolians’ hospitality. But the food definitely had meat. So, I thought a quick prayer on it—Should I eat meat on a Friday in Lent, if Catholics offer? 

My response feeling from God seemed to be to, “Just love.” So I smiled, figuring to enjoy their offer was probably the most loving thing to do. And it would be the last meal they’d have with me. 

They invited I say grace in English. Their English teacher was there with staff, so she understood, at least. I really enjoyed the food, too. It was among my Mongolian favorites, банштай цай /bansh-tahy tsahy/, dumplings in the salty Mongolian milk tea. We took a selfie to commemorate our pleasant hour. 

I tried declining seconds, with Friday being for fasting and all, but they still served more, haha. I mused with wonder how Mongolian Christians take hospitality to the next level, in the best ways. And yet, with staff talking about how the government banned seeing their families at Lunar New Year to prevent Coronavirus possibilities, I felt I was leaving a Mongolia very different from the one where I first arrived. I’d miss our days of fellowship after Mass in this little sunlit room. 

Afterward, I had my time alone in the sanctuary to decompress. I wandered before the statue to our Blessed Mother. Then I walked the room, photographing Stations of the Cross’ Mongolian descriptions in case I wanted to learn them in the States. 

My supervisor to drive me to our next location. I graciously thanked everyone and departed. 

Last Supper, Friday Night

Later that Friday night in my city of service, I enjoyed a Last Supper with the American couple who’d supported me so much. 

Here, too, we had amazing food, this time American-style. With sundown, I could indulge a bit! 

I felt especially joyful to meet yet another woman from Brian Hogan’s memoir, “There’s a Sheep in My Bathtub.” (Recall, I finished this book on the Second New Day of Tsagaan Sar, which was Tuesday earlier that week.) This woman recounted stories of her travels around the world for God, including standout details for me. 

She mentioned pretty harrowing experiences with the Hong Kong and Moscow airports. Particularly, she said Moscow’s security just spoke Russian, even in the international airport! So I braced myself. She also suggested I bring snacks so I wouldn’t have to fret on currency conversion. She didn’t like her Moscow airport experience there much. 

As for Hong Kong, she mentioned writing in her devotional journal. Then I realized, I had one of those, too. A parishioner in Reno, Nev. gifted one to me before I graduated uni and joined Peace Corps. In fact, the journal’s been where I’ve penned my usual entries daily since Jan. 1. Fittingly, “Pray continuously” appeared recently, matching my 2020 Lenten aspiration. How cool! 

With the American couple and their friend, I also considered my future. If I return to Mongolia, life would feel different. Mongolia will have entered spring, maybe summer. I'd redecorate my apartment. Maybe I'd bring things new from the States. I'd be wiser, a little older. 

But I'll be loving, all the same. 

By the night’s end, I resolved, if there's one thing God's been consistent with me when I've discerned the past couple years, it's to love. For, no matter what, we're beloved. Love, I will.

My American friends gifted me delicious chocolate cake to take home. They know I love their cooking. I’d keep in touch with this bunch long after returning to America. 

Last Suppers with spiritual people fill me with such peace. And Christ’s command rang true: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34). 

Saturday Morning Guests 

The next morning, Saturday, Feb. 29, the older friend with whom I spent my Lunar New Year’s Eve and First New Day came by to fetch me for his friend he introduced me to during the holiday. 

Like old times, my friend came up to my apartment. This time he brought that friend over. And I felt so pleased when my friend, upon entering, explained to his friend, who saw my cross on the wall, that although I’m Christian and a Peace Corps Volunteer, Peace Corps is non-religious. 

It’s so important locals understand this distinction… I am who I am, but Peace Corps is what it is. I loved that a local could explain it to another without confusion. 

My friend had just gotten off a long night shift. So I readied the instant coffees I saved for guests and switched on my Korean electric kettle that sat upon my short refrigerator. I also shared with the guys some Chinese snacks my 重庆 Chóngqìng friend mailed me when I visited relatives in 北京 Běijīng after Christmas. I liked the spiciness, but I cautioned my friends to be careful. Many Mongolians don’t do spicy, but this older friend does. 

Meeting My Older Friend’s Friend 

I first met my friend’s friend earlier that week, Sunday, Feb. 23, on the morning of Lunar New Year’s Eve. 

Before my older friend dropped me off in his own frigid home. He drove me to the then-crowded indoor market. There he took me inside to meet his friendly shop-owning friend. The friendly man sells a brand of хевийн боов (pronounced like /hyehVEEN b-awe-v/), firm biscuit bricks stacked to form Mongolians’ traditional food tower displays. My supervisor Wednesday night gifted me some of these, actually. 

Because all Mongolian families make these towers, the friend saw great business. Apparently the man’s son attends the Chinese school, also. So the friend invited me to visit his home sometime. I said sure, sounds fun. Then my older friend took me back to the car. I waited there alone while he shopped some more. Felt like just another day shopping with my actual dad... 

Anyway, when Peace Corps Mongolia’s evacuation crisis broke out, I totally forgot about meeting my friend’s friend. But Mongolians find ways. 

Final Full Saturday, Among Friends

Saturday morning, kicking off my last full day in my city of service, we drove to my friend’s friend’s house, in the city’s district closer to the mountain’s base. Coincidentally, I’d probably walked by this house Monday morning, while walking with the Mongolian Christian toward Mt. Bayan-Undur. That day, my same older friend drove to pick me up for the rest of my adventures, that First New Day of Tsagaan Sar. 

Entering my friend’s friend’s place this Saturday, I felt the interior could have passed for a small American home, just with fewer walls to divide rooms. 

My friend’s friend treated me to a wonderful brunch, I felt so glad to needn’t cook, that busy day. He also gifted me instant Mongolian milk tea, which I felt really excited to try in the States! 

Meanwhile, the man’s Chinese-studying son was in an unsurprisingly unsocial mood. The lad distracted himself instead by watching a colorfully animated film dubbed in Mongolian that played on the TV nearby. The film’s art style reminded me of some mix between Disney’s “Avatar” and Dr. Seuss. Weeks later, I chanced upon its name, “Mune.” 

I ate to fullness as usual. I hadn’t realized, even on Mongolian Lunar New Year’s Sixth New Day, people still stuff themselves with the same wonderful traditional things they eat the first few days. I loved it.

But during a lull, I felt surprised.  

My older friend, suddenly a tad emotional, said how his English improved so much with me. 

He spoke smiling, saying how he felt grateful I came to Mongolia. I hadn’t expected my rapid departure would move a grown man. I responded with gratitude to have met him and spoke again my hope to return.

Once More Upon Bayan-Undur 

After brunch, since I wouldn’t meet my other friends till later that afternoon, the men I ate with joined me instead. And so, after waiting in the cold nearly an hour wondering whether the others might show, we ascended. 

Our trio walked up past the place where I walked Monday, and we summited. I’d miss this snow, knowing I’d return to a desert in the States. 

We came down the front side, somewhat like the path I’d taken with the weekly hiking group I accompanied winter weekend mornings. On the walk down, I found my pace faster than the other men’s. I wondered if this resulted from my weeks of hikes. Ahead, I realized I followed the овоо /aw-vaw/ stone shrines to know the way down. 

I considered in self-reflection how during my final week in Mongolia, I felt like Aang or Korra meeting their past lives' friends. My ‘past lives’ were Peace Corps Volunteers before me. Our community’s common affection for our service remains. 

Our trio took a route down into the ger (home) district, where we parted with my older friend. He needed rest but would visit me that evening. I returned to his friend’s home. The kind man served me a stir-fry with rice that tasted of my summer host family's cooking. I miss them… Little did I know, the night after, I’d ride through my host family’s town during evacuation. 

My friend’s friend drove me around town to pick up my community friends to visit my apartment and say farewells. Later that night, I’d embark on the sunset trek to end my last city day. 

Thursday Leaving Mongolia: The Airport

Now fast-forward to Thursday, March 5, my departure from Mongolia. After half a week of resilience in the capital followed by an all-nighter to conclude it, I felt a profound experience at the airport. 

Our Peace Corps group of 49 reached Chinggis Khaan International Airport long before daybreak. My past blur here flying out two months before felt stressful, traveling alone. But now I felt calm. For now, I traveled among friends. 

I entered Mongolia’s international terminal early, recalling its location. I settled smoothly into the check-in line then turned behind. I scanned our face-masked crowd to see if I could find the senior TEFL friend I ran into throughout the week. I’d hoped I might see her the night before during Volunteer farewells, but we’d be on the same flight anyway. 

Some time later, I saw my friend and waved. She waved back, but not as expected—I thought she looked as though sobbing. I felt troubled. So, tugging my luggage, I left my spot in the line to join her in back. 

I stood beside her, wishing I could offer something. I waited in silence, trying to feel her pain. 

When speaking, my friend sounded as though with grief. This country has been everything to her. This is what she committed to, as a Peace Corps Volunteer. And she's leaving too soon. She hoped I will get the chance to come back, to finish my service and one day know the pain she feels to leave these people. 

I felt solemn. She was right. 

And while I might be able to return, her service ended. 

Around us, I wondered if anyone noticed, but plenty seemed preoccupied with making our flight. So I reckoned I needn’t worry, since I came to do good. 

My friend held my hand and thanked me for coming. From beneath her face mask, she commented about needing tissues and not having any. I remembered mine and quickly emptied my pocket tissue pouch. She laughed a little and looked glad. She continued to squeeze my hand as we pushed our luggage to move forward in line. 

Trials Leaving Mongolia: The Airport  

Crisis! When we reached the line's front, turns out we both had overweight luggage. 

We lugged our luggage aside. I was 2 kg over—must have been the extra gifts, we figured. So I shifted books and denser snacks to my personal item and carry-on then wore my blazer as an addition to my already five layers. I’d fly with six layers, whatever. Thus, I checked in my luggage. 

But my friend wasn't so lucky. She needed to pay extra to get her luggage through. So she left upset to another window outside the line. With my things in order and feeling quite familiar with the airport, I decided to accompany her.

We waited an awful long time. Another senior cohort friend we’d evacuated our provinces with needed to pay a similar fee. A couple more senior cohort friends joined the line, for they had pets traveling. So I waited among the four. They were such inspirations to me. 

Meanwhile I tried to help my friend, who sat on her luggage and looked a little disheveled. She said something of her amazement how we kept getting stuck together. I agreed. I remembered the fall conference, our evacuation caravan and the week’s surprise meet-ups at Peace Corps’ office. Lovely coincidences. 

During our wait, I felt moved by the love and loss my friend felt toward her community and service. I remembered my grief amid flights three years ago, when Mom was killed and stressfully I had to fly home. So I wished I could say something to help my friend. I prayed this affliction might leave her. I prayed to have the right words. But I knew, sometimes the better words are those unsaid.

Sometimes my friend forgot whether she grabbed something or didn't, whether I grabbed something or didn't. I replied patiently. I wanted to say it'd be OK soon, but such words mean little. I offered my water, offered to cover the expense, even. She accepted my water.

Eventually my friend noticed I didn’t have an expense to pay and that I just wanted to support her. Her anxiety seemed to lighten, and she smiled again. She insisted I'm so kind. She added I didn't have to stay for her. But I reaffirmed I'm comfortable with the airport and felt I’d nowhere to be more urgently. I wanted her to feel OK. She said although she doesn't believe in God, God would reward me very much for helping. I wasn't sure what to make of that. But it felt kind. 

As we neared less than an hour till takeoff, the couple senior cohort friends behind us, too, grew anxious whether we'd make our flight. They said since I didn't need to be in line, I should head to our gate. Still, I knew we'd plenty of time, considering my previous rush through airport security on a crowded day here with less time. But, going ahead would make our group happiest. So I wished everyone well and calmly went in. 

Leaving Mongolia: The Airport  

After a smooth clear through passport control, friends from our evacuation group asked me if I'd seen the others. I explained they were at the payment window. Behind me, I noticed my friend already entering security. I felt glad to give others peace. 

I ran into a couple evacuation friends shortly after. One commented I was better than him, for waiting behind to help. I appreciated his compliment. I didn’t blame anyone for going ahead, anyway. We’re all trying to be prudent. 

I had plenty time to get my bearings as boarding began, too. God always has a way. 

I pick up my next story right where this leaves off, bringing you with me aboard my flights from Mongolia through Europe and back to America. We’re off to Moscow, Berlin and Amsterdam, so get ready for a cultural odyssey like none of mine before! 

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me~         

[theultravioletcatastrophe]

Heya, new followers! You may have noticed that I like to post those ask meme thingies (and I like to ask people stuff when they post them too!). Occasionally I come across an interesting one, but it’s way too long to want to bother with posting (not only because it clogs up your dash, but because I don’t wanna make you pick from this giant list). So, I do what I always do and just go ahead and answer every question anyway, all in one post! It’s below the break.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? "...what the FUCK did we do?" (the last person I texted was my dad lol)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? We're married, mostly.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? As long as they weren't actively causing themselves harm, absolutely not.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Yep.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober. I don't really get drunk anymore.

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yes.

7. What does your last received text say? "Ok thanx" (again, my dad)

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Infinity billion times.

9. Where was your last kiss at? On our bed.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? I don't have a sister ;_; (although I do have a friend who is like a sister) (but I haven't seen her in a long time) ;_;

11. What do you drink in the morning? Water, mostly. Sometimes I'll make coffee when I get to work.

12. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed.

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Yes. Fulfilling, worth it, but hard.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Not really. #liveinthemoment #noragrets

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Yes, namely, why are we locked in a room, how do we get out, and who locked us in here, anyway?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Depends on my mood. I generally prefer sunny days but sometimes you just want the sky to cry for you, y'know?

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Nope.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Pajama pants, since I’m going to bed soon.

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Yes.

20. Does anyone like you? :)

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? I... think so?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Maybe a little bit. Definitely less gay than me, and I'm only like 15% gay, so

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Not anymore. Not anymore...

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yes! However I am so good at procrastinating that I've never gotten around to actually designing what I want. One of these days soon.

25. In the past week have you cried? Crying is, at *minimum*, a weekly occurrance for me.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I'unno, mutt? He's got some black lab, some German shepherd, some husky, and who knows what else in him.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? In the shower. I hate stepping out of the shower when I'm wet.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Nope.

29. Do you think you’re old? Sometimes.

30. Do you like text messaging? Yes! It's super useful and after having resisted getting a cell phone for so long, I can't believe I've ever lived without it.

31. What type of day are you having? Okay. Not awful but not great. Just okay.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Nah, not my style.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm, absolutely, 100%. Fuck winter lol

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Many.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? I mean, both are fun. It depends on the person, I guess.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Hmm, I'll take the diplomatic answer and say that I'm both at certain times.

37. What song are you listening to? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zbu9KkTHkc

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Yes. If I don't mean it, I don't say it.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? She's not really a "girl" but yeah.

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? "The person you like now" hahaha okay sure I'll pick one of those people (lol in all seriousness I'm guessing this would refer to my wife and it was our mutual love of anime that first brought us together)

41. When did you last receive a text message? Uh, about 3 hours ago, I guess.

42. What is wrong with you right now? The Anxiety™

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Like I've lived with her for the past 10 years :P

44. Does anyone disgust you? ...quite a few people actually.

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? I would love to, but I am in fact in a monogamous relationship with someone right now so I'd have to respectfully decline. The gesture would be deeply appreciated and warmly received, however.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? Yes! I had a nice chat with a new friend on here earlier and I'm happy. ^_^

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My wife, just before she went to bed.

48. What color shirt are you wearing? Black with purple screen-printing on it (it’s my “do it for Planeptune” shirt, toldja I’d never take it off).

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? I hear that kinda stuff a lot.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? No? I don't think I understand this question.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Of course not, I love her. Always will.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? No...?

53. Do you like rain? Yes! (finally a plain and simple question)

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Not unless it's to excess.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Oh god, so many.

56. Do you like to cuddle? Yes!

57. Are you shy? Yes!

58. Do you get along with girls? I try my best. I get along better with girls than I do with guys though.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? LOL no (see above for why)

60. What do you carry with you at all times? My phone. Except when I forget it at home haha.

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Going on 15 years now, so yeah :)

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Yep.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Of course.

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? What's with the quotes? I mean, I've been playing Neptunia games lately, and they are cute as hell, so if that counts then yeah. Also I've been watching Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid which is ridiculously cute too.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? The last THREE people I kissed, eh? Hmmm... my wife is 33, my daughter is 3, and... who the hell is the third-last person I kissed? Probably my mother-in-law who is I think 61.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   Depends on what's getting done, I guess. Basic upkeep I'd prefer to do myself, but something fancy I'd want someone else to do.  

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?     Ew, neither.

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?     Not yet, no.

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?   I have no idea who Luke Bryan is but I get the feeling that either of these choices are awful and I'd rather just have silence.  

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?     iPhone.

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?     YEARS ago.

73. Do you like diet soda?     Hell no.

74. What color are the walls in your room?     In this room, they're white; in my bedroom they're a sort of yellowish colour.

75. Are you 16 or older?     I'm twice that plus 1.

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?     Nope.

77. Do you have a job?     Yep.

78. What are your initials?     E_F (my middle name is a secret hehe)

79. Did you ever have braces?     No, and I wish I did, because maybe then my bottom incisors wouldn't be so fucked up.

80. Are you from the south?     Noooooo.

81. What does your last status on facebook say?     Hell if I know, haha, I don't use Facebook much.

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?     You expect me to remember who that is? Ah hell, it was probably my mom, and no, I don't talk to her anymore (she died last year).

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     I was definitely closer to my mom.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   Not unless you count taking my daughter to gymnastics :P

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?     Moana! IN THREE DEE!

86. Do you smoke?     Smoke what ;)

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?     Flip flops. NOBODY should wear heels.

88. Is your phone touch screen?     I would be astonished if someone said "no" to this one.

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?     My hair is the only straight thing about me *rim shot*

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?     Many times.

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?   I've never actually swam in a river before! Of the remaining two options, I prefer a lake.

92. Have you ever made out in a car?     Probably.

93. …Had sex in a car?     Nope.

94. Are you single or in a relationship?     Married.

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?     Playing Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2.

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?     ...you know, it was quite a while ago. Years ago. Hmm. :(

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?     It's decent, I wish it had native options for controlling exposure and aperture and stuff.

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope. I mean, my wife is my best friend, so does that count? Probably not.  

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?   No! I have never blacked out or passed out from drinking. I hate getting that drunk.  

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?     Nah, I don't really hate anyone.

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?     Nope.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   Any of the ones where her voice doesn't sound like garbage under layers of more garbage.  

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?     I doubt it, the sun hasn't been strong enough to get a tan in months.

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I would never wear cowboy boots.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

http://fashion-trendin.com/33-people-share-their-most-memorable-one-night-stands/

33 People Share Their Most Memorable One-Night Stands

You know those special summer evenings out with friends where you all stay out a little later than you originally intended, and maybe order one more round of Aperol Spritzes and hummus with pita bread for the table than you thought you would, and all of a sudden everyone is feeling warm and loose and in the mood to faux-whisper the tales of their most thrilling (or embarrassing or weird or funny) romantic encounters?

That’s what it feels like to read the below round-up of quotes from a whole bunch of people who generously recounted the stories of their most memorable one-night stands to Man Repeller. Scroll down to soak them up like that last bite of olive oil-drenched pita. Prepare to laugh, cringe and empathize — and add your own in the comment section if you have one.

“A couple of years ago I went on a family vacation to Cabo, had a three-day romance with a local volunteer firefighter and ended it by hooking up in a fire truck on the last night. I’ll never look at a fire truck the same.”

Peach, 25

“I was 21 and didn’t want to be a virgin anymore so I went on Tinder and had my first and only one night stand. It was great.”

Rosa, 24

“It was 2002. I heard some friends talking about how one of the New York Mets just left the bar, so in my slightly inebriated state, I decided to go see if he was cute. He had just hailed a cab and was about to get in. I said, ‘Leaving already?’ and he said, ‘Should I?’ We hung out at the bar together for an hour or so, then went back to my place. He had an amazing body and it was the perfect first one night stand.”

Nicole, 38

“When we got back to my place, he took off his jeans to reveal boxers that looked like tiny denim hotpants. I was slightly shocked but went with it anyway.”

Annie, 26

“Danish cornfields, a boy named Mathias, 12 beers apiece, up all night at a communal living compound. Unabashed sexy times within earshot of LOTS of disgruntled Scandinavians. Oh — and there was a sauna.”

Hannah, 25

“I was at a friend’s birthday party, and while happy to be there celebrating my friend, I was not having a great time. Everyone at the party was dancing to EDM music. I hate dancing. While outside trying to avoid the dance floor, I struck up conversation with a very handsome guy and we immediately hit it off. He laughed when I told him about my disdain for dancing and swore he’d get me to dance eventually. Later when the party died down, he walked me home. We stopped at a park near my apartment and he pulled out his phone. I thought he was going to take a photo, but nope, he put on “Dancing in the Moonlight” by Toploader. He grabbed my hand and taught me to dance (real rom-com stuff… think spinning me around and dipping me backwards) in the park, in the moonlight. We only made out a little bit, and I still hate dancing, but it definitely made for a good story and a memorable ‘one-night stand.’”

Emma, 19

“I was 17 and it was New Year’s Eve. We smoked weed in his bed until everything became funny. Someone had spilled gummy bears on his comforter, and we kept feeding each other and cracking up. Feeding quickly turned to making out. Driving home the next morning, I kept finding gummy bears that were stuck to my arms and neck.”

Hallie, 25

“It was 2013 and I was trekking the previously unexplored Shilheipung Hills in Manipur, India with a guy. We went up with nothing but a makeshift axe, a rope and water. We reached the top by sundown after a lot of sweat, dirt, him dragging me, carrying me on his back, etc. But the kiss we shared was beautiful and so was everything else that followed. He left to work for the Navy some days later. To this day, we meet up once or twice every year for really good one-night stands, no strings attached.”

Eve, 23

“I forgot my shoes at the guy’s place and walked in socks through the streets of London at 6 a.m.”

Phillipa, 20

“I French-kissed with a total stranger in Budapest at the Széchenyi Chain Bridge, a suspension bridge that spans the River Danube between Buda and Pest and watched the sunrise. I later ditched him after he proposed to have sex behind a motorcycle.”

Louise, 21

“I had just ended a 10-year relationship and I was ready to have my first one-night stand at my best friend’s wedding. I met a guy that night, brought him home and a year later we were married. Now we’re at six years and counting!”

Cristine, 34

“I lost my virginity in high school during a one-night stand (I wanted it that way). The next day in school we had to read the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet together in front of the whole class. I wanted to faint.”

Mel, 24

“I was in college and it was a pajama party, so naturally I was wearing a onesie with ducks all over it. This guy I thought was so hot started talking to me and we hit it off. He took me to the roof where we gazed at the stars together and drank Natty Lights. He was a great kisser and it was amazing sex, but we never talked again after that. Honestly I mostly am just proud that I successfully picked up a guy wearing duck onesie pajamas.”

Anne, 23

“I was 18 and had just moved to San Francisco. I was just beginning my medical transition. I was feeling lonely, so I met up with a guy who had been messaging me on a dating app. It was a bit awkward. We tried finding food both of us could eat. For me, vegan, and him, gluten-free. We ended up settling on a burger place. We started talking and I could feel an attraction. I was really into him. We went back to his place for some honestly mediocre sex haha. I asked after if there was a place nearby to grab a coffee and he offered to make me one. We sat and snuggled for a bit and decided go try to find fireworks (it was the Fourth of July). We ended up in Dolores park. We sat down and ended up kissing and cuddling, hardly able to wait to get back to his place again.

This experience meant a lot for me at a time of my life where I thought being trans meant I would have to sacrifice true romantic encounters and simply cope with being fetishized and reduced to my trans identity. It also showed me that there were men who would walk down the street with me, holding my hand, somewhat unaffected by the toxic masculinity that can be fatal for us trans folk. It shaped my expectations for how I wanted to be treated by men and gave me hope that I will actually be able to find someone who respects me and my identity eventually.”

Tommy, 19

“When I was 19, I had sex with this Australian rugby player on the bathroom sink/basement couch of an NYC hostel. His name was James. He would ask, ‘Do you like this/do you want to do this?” before trying anything, which was totally not the consent-norm of the time, and which my young feminist self found very sexy. We had to keep going up to the hostel front desk for condoms in what was likely the most conspicuous manner. I have thought of the night fondly ever since.”

Britt, 29

“He tried to give me a fish from his fish tank.”

Emma, 20

“I saw this guy at a bar who was cute, alone and seemed non-threatening, so I approached. I asked him why he looked so lonely, which prompted a laugh. We drank, danced, laughed, and made out with each other through the rest of the night. I went home with him and we had great sex. A week later I found out I had chlamydia (most likely from him). When I told him, he was surprisingly relaxed — we both went to the doctor and we were both prescribed meds. After our doctor business, he asked me to come over and watch some Netflix with him, and we genuinely bonded over our temporary STD. We hit it off. It’s been nearly three years now and we’re still seeing each other. He’s one of my best friends.”

Emily, 22

“I met a stranger in a bookstore in Rome and went back to his place where he bent me over a rooftop balcony overlooking the Coliseum and fucked my brains out.”

Muzunga, 41

“We met on Instagram. When I visited LA, we kept trying to meet up, but it wasn’t working out, so I wrote it off. But then she called me after her shift ended at 10 p.m. We met up at a bar lined with wooden planks à la a ship from 1900s; it was filled with rainbow Christmas lights and locals, the scent of the close-by Santa Monica Pier strong. When she walked in, I noticed that her eyes were yellow. Two Pacificos with lime later, we took a cab to another bar, our shoulders close to, but not touching — in the way they do when two people are interested, but unsure. We picked songs from the juke box while she touched my back. I leaned forward off of my stool and kissed her while John Martyn sang into an empty Venice bar. We made our way to her house, a classic bungalow like the ones in Eve Babitz’s books; spent 15 drunk minutes on the floor of her living room trying to calm her dog from this 2 a.m. intruder. I don’t remember how we got to her room. How I got undressed. If my bra stayed on. Hers did not. She called me ‘baby’ while we had passionate, overdue sex. Afterwards, her dog slept between our legs. Two hours later, I called a car from her bed, watching through hungover eyelids as her chest rose and fell. I took the car to the airport and flew home to Utah.”

Ruby, 26

“He was the lead singer in a college band. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time who was 1,500 miles away. I went to the see the band and he sang most of his songs directly to me. Afterwards, he invited me for drinks and we went back to his place. We had sex for seven hours and watched the sun come up. Before I left I licked him from his ankle to his neck as my goodbye. I gave him a fake number. It was the only time I have ever cheated. It was worth it.”

Maria, 38

“It was in Israel when I was visiting the country with friends over winter break from college. I was staying in a hotel and went to a bar with my girls, where I met someone who was a soldier in the special forces unit. He was four years older (I was 18 at the time), and we ended up having sex in my hotel’s supply closet. I never saw him again, and I like it that way.”

Jackie, 19

“I was 19 and in Paris. I met a Parisian in a bar, who whisked me to his apartment on his Vespa. I spent the night and woke up to an empty bed. He had gone to the bakery downstairs to get me warm pain au chocolat. It sounds fake but I swear this happened to me.”

Gabrielle, 22

“I was my friend’s maid of honor, and one of the groomsmen and I were the only two single people in the wedding party. We also had immediate chemistry. We flirted through the entire rehearsal dinner and then were inseparable at the wedding. We both got drunk. He helped me take one million bobby pins out of my hair. We hooked up in his hotel room. I dipped out early in the morning and we’ve literally never spoken again. I still have the bobby pins, though.”

Ellen, 27

“Philadelphia. Tiny Airbnb. Pizza first, then the hookup. Sex toys involved. Showered afterwards. What a night.”

Kelly, 22

“It was Halloween and I was dressed as Björk (the swan dress). I went home with a guy and it turns out it was his parents’ house. I didn’t have a change of clothes and we ended up eating breakfast together (me wearing the swan dress).”

Lily, 26

“I spent one night in Venice, visiting a cute Italian guy from my internship who spoke zero English. It got hot and heavy quickly, so I wanted to refresh myself with a glass of juice. I didn’t know how to ask for juice so I said ‘limone,’ thinking maybe I would get some lemonade. I did not. He brought me a full lemon, cut in half, and proceeded to squeeze lemon juice all over my body and lick it off. It felt AMAZING, but now I tell people my trip to Venice was ‘totally lemons.’”

June, 34

“I was working as a server and had spent the whole night flirting with a very handsome man 10 years my senior, who was visiting Toronto for the weekend. At the end of the night he asked me for a pack of matches. When I gave him the matches he told me he’d only take them if my number was written inside. He texted me that night to make plans. A few days later we met for a late afternoon drink and ended up hitting it off so well that he booked a 5-star hotel room for the night. We drank champagne in the bathtub, ate Chinese food naked on the patio and had some of the best sex of my life!”

Natalie, 26

“He smelled really nice and kept telling me how much he loved my body all night. When we were done we ordered late night take out and streamed Final Destination 2.”

Giselle, 20

“I had sex with a woman for the first time over Pride weekend after meeting her at a bar and I’m gay as fuck now!”

Julia, 24

“He was cute. But I woke up early and en route to the bathroom discovered that literally the only books on his bookshelf were the collected works of Dan Brown. I immediately left his apartment.”

Kara, 27

“We met at a California Tortilla where he helped me select a hot sauce from the hot sauce wall. After we slept together, we discovered his ex was hooking up with my ex.”

Neanor, 27

“I met her during the pregame, a friend of a friend. We talked about feminism. She had glitter spread over her freckles. As a fledgling queer, it was one of those, ‘do I want to date her or be her?’ conundrums. We danced together on and off throughout the night, but I couldn’t get a definitive read on it. At what point do you go from friendly to flirting?… ‘Want to get out of here?’ she giggled into my ear. We got our coats from the coat check, I checked in with the rest of my friends, and we made a hasty exit. She stumbled a bit on the stairs but didn’t fall. ‘Alright I’ll take you home,’ I joked. ‘No,’ she insisted, ‘I’m taking you home!’”

Fatima, 20

“He was great and super fun, until he whispered, ‘You taste like root vegetables, specifically carrots and turnips’ into my ear. I had to stop things right there because I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard.”

Paige, 22

Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.