#and anxious when it comes to tiktok and twitter

[vulcannic]

i’ve been working on these stede outfits for so long and being so close to finishing it is making me so anxious because literally what song am i going to use when i share it on tiktok it has to be perfect or else

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[pinknightsinmymind]

if you feel like it, could you write more headcanons about ellie? not full fic or one shot, but thoughts about her. like, the types of kisses she gives you or the kind of girlfriend she is

【 ellie williams as a gf hc's 】

a/n: yes yes yes yes 100% i think about ellie way too much for my own good and it rots my brain. since i wrote so much it'll be below the cut lol

she loves to see you in her clothes in fact she even encourages it its just something about it that drives her crazy

she's protective of you and always wants to take care of you and make sure you don't do any of the dangerous or stupid shit she does

i feel like ppl forget how much of a dork she is; she'd tell you all about space and the different facts she's learned, she'd explain the plots of her favorite comics, who the characters are, which ones are her favorites, why she thinks one arc was better than the other, and so on and so forth

i think she loves to chat your ear off about any and everything

she's probably afraid she's annoying, so sometimes you might need to reassure her a little bit

in a modern au she's the type to send you funny memes or videos she finds, probably browses tiktok and twitter a lot

definitely the type to send you a photo of two animals being cute or cuddling together and say "us" because she's just a sap like that

composes songs about you and acts all shy when she shows them to you

DRAWS YOU

you're one of her favorite subjects to draw, and she loves showing you every new piece of you she has

she'd send you song recs ALL the time

listens to lots of indie and shoegaze

pls pls pls for the love of god ask her to teach you how to play guitar bc she'd be so excited to show you and spend the time with you

i think her love languages are quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation

forgets NOTHING

you know how dads do that thing where you tell them you liked something once and they never forget it? yeah she got that from joel it rubbed off on her

remembers what you wore on your first date, remembers your food orders, memorizes your favorite colors, bands, tv shows, movies, everything

so so caring and sweet

since one of her love languages are physical touch you can expect lots of affection from her

loves cuddling, holding your hand, having her arms around you, she just has to be touching you somehow

flirts a lot (but its not a bad thing) even after you two have started dating

loves kissing you all the time, and will make excuses for it

she needs her good morning kiss, her good night kiss, good luck kisses, goodbye kisses (even if she's only gonna be gone a few hours💀), one bc she missed you, a hello kiss, she will use ANY excuse just to kiss you

but sometimes she won't even bother creating one she'll ask to kiss you just bc

loves having sleep overs and nights in together where you can just cuddle and watch movies or play video games bc she's a huge introvert

the type who will do anything to make sure your comfort isn't disturbed

if you don't like the other side of the bed she switches with you, will let you sit in the last chair at an event (but not before asking if you'd just rather sit in her lap), helps guide you through anything making you scared or anxious

calls you pet names every five minutes. all of them.

love, babe, baby, babygirl, princess, darling, honey, whatever is your favorite she calls you the most

lives to spoil you; pays the bill, buys you gifts, drowns you in affection, you name it

celebrates your birthday like its a holiday

speaking of can you imagine her during the holiday season???

the two of you plan out a couple costume for halloween

the two of you are so cute together it's gross

you're always welcome to spend thanksgiving with her and joel

and christmas?? she gets even more sentimental than usual, and buys you an extremely meaningful gift

the most supporitve, soft, kind, humorous, and sweet gf imaginable just a dream come true

she feels like you really balance her out, and isn't afraid to tell you how much you mean to her or how much she loves you

she makes sure you feel loved and remember that you are loved

can't wait to move in with you and once you two do she feels like she's in heaven everyday

just loves you and cherishes you deeply

overall just THE gf you dream and pray for ugh this girl gets me in my feelings every time she's just so cute and sweet😭😭😭😭

[mycupofteafanzine]

My Cup of Tea contributor announcement: part 2!

We are excited to share our list of writers and cosplayers in the zine! You can also find our artists here. See below the cut for links to their socials and their answers to the question: Why do you love Martin?

Writers

milkteamoon | tumblr Ao3

I really love how contradictorily human he is! He's a little guy. He's kind of a bitch. He wants so badly to be the sensitive artist type and yet will encourage murder against those whom he perceives to have wronged him at the drop of a hat. He's incredibly kissable and should be kissed by anyone and everyone, I think, for his health.

crescenttwins | tumblr carrd

Martin is this lovely exploration of a person who is deeply affected by trauma but still ends up able to be kind at the end of it.

Morning Softness | tumblr

He’s just such a great complex character. He does his absolute best in a job he’s not at all qualified for, determined to go above and beyond so no one will complain about his work ethic, even when the demands placed on him are ridiculous or dangerous. He’s anxious but he’s also brave and stubborn. He’s jealous and bitter and petty and sarcastic. He’s kind and optimistic and gentle. He’s a poet. He’s incredibly practical, and is better at showing care to others through his actions than his words. He holds onto guilt because he’s convinced it helps him do better. He tries so hard to be needed because he thinks it’s the only way anyone would want him, and he feels like it would be manipulative of him to expect or even want anything in return. He makes an effort to care about others and help in any way he can, even though it is an effort, even when it isn’t returned.

Pine | tumblr

In "Big Picture," Martin says to Simon Fairchild "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." I think it may be the most hopeful statement in TMA (not that it has a great deal of competition!), and I thought about it a lot while season five was airing. (And I love, too, how Martin may have been a hypocrite about it, unwilling to let the universe disappear.)

Saint | tumblr Ao3

Golly gee what a question. I guess the biggest thing is I love how full of seemingly diametrically-opposed contradictions he is: his genuine sweetness and kindness vs his very serious desire to see the violent death of people he's perceived to have wronged him, his dorky poetry vs the fact that he's the kind of person to use the word "ontological" in casual conversation, his capacity for love and compassion vs his proclivity for isolation. Also he has the best voice.

Cosplayers

Shashamisen | tiktok

He hit me as the most human-like character to me. Blame it on the beautiful voice acting or the discreet complexity of how his character was written, but I started loving him for how much I related, and stayed for the cutest awkward love I've ever seen.

Bow | insta tiktok

The obvious reason is that I see so much of my current, but especially younger, self in him, but I also love him because to me, he is the character in TMA who goes through the most growth and comes into himself. I love seeing his journey of self discovery and emotional strength.

Kaedan | tiktok

He became a comfort character immediately. His patience, his sweet nature, the way he stutters when he's flustered (just like me,) it all felt like a cool breeze in the fire that is the horror that is TMA. His life and traumas mirror my own, and the way he comes out of it with kindness and an unexpected fierceness is amazing to me. The way he underhanded Elias AND Peter impresses me constantly.

Alex | tumblr tiktok

He is my husband and I adore him.

Slush/Hailey | insta tiktok tumblr twitter

To me, he is the heart of The Magnus Archives! Martin is always showing his most human side to those around him and never lets the horrors around him stop him from being a good person. Like so many on this zine, I see a lot of myself in Martin Blackwood. There's so much of myself I see in him, yet there's so much more I want to be. He's kind and thoughtful. He's soft, but he finds his courage and shows that he can be quite tenacious and clever! He's constantly underestimated, especially by himself, but shows them up with confidence and sass. He doesn't let the horrible things that have happened to him make him hard and is never afraid of being his true self. I also find our relationships with the Lonely incredibly similar. Essentially, it's been quite a long time since I've found a character that is so much like myself, and gives me hope that I can also make the same changes in my life as him to grow and become a better person. Hopefully that doesn't include being stalked by a worm lady.

[writtingsomestuff]

hi love could you maybe write something with jamal musiala x girlfriend reader where she's 2 years older than him and has older male Friends and jamal sees a instagram Story of reader and them at a Club he's so jelous and calls her so many times and comes to take her home with him💃❤

Hello! I wrote the best I could. Hope you enjoy it xx

Cinderella and Prince Charming

Jamal Musiala x fem!reader Warnings: None, I think

He thought that with time he would understand it, accept it and move on, but he did not. You were two years older than him, it was not a lot, to be honest, but he knew that you were more mature and had your ideas ordered in life, not like him. You just finished a degree and planned to study a master on September; You even sent a CV to work in a company specialized on your career, currently waiting for an answer. However, he was a kid in front of the world, even in front of his teammates, but could he blame them? Not really. He played football, yes, and he was living his dream, but football, as F1, or basketball and any sport, the day of tomorrow was uncertain; one day you are at the top of the world, and the next, no one knew about you any more. That was his biggest insecurity, that you were around people similar to you, ordered, mature and responsible, and that if you ever left him for one of your old friends, it could be justified.

He was leaving the locker room, after a tough session with his club, when he heard the notification sound from his phone. The message he didn't want to read appeared before his eyes, “Sorryyy! Tonight I’m going to the club with my uni friends. What about tomorrow evening? Ily x” he asked you to meet after a long time apart from each other; he was travelling and playing the last matches of the Bundesliga, while you were finishing the last exams of the degree, however, you had another plans and he was jealous. Yes, jealous. Not so much about you going to club, that was the least of the matters, he also went to clubs, but jealous of all these college friends, who shared their life ideas with you, hobbies and could actually understand you when you speak about your subjects and exams, something that Jamal could not.

After some hours, he had dinner, played some video games and even started a novel that you left the last time you stayed. He was waiting for a last message from you that could assure him that you were at home, fine and safe. To “kill time”, he entered Instagram, a place where you could spend hours that felt like minutes, just like TikTok or Twitter. He made a mistake; the first user that appeared was yours, he opened the video and there was a video you “re-uploaded”: you were there with your, he would say: "amazing, black dress," and you were smiling next to Robert, one of those uni friends. Robert was tall and had black hair that highlighted his green eyes – he was the one who Jamal hated the most, to be honest. Both of you were laughing out loud about something Mary, at the other said, told you. "That Robert” as he called him sometimes, had his arm around your shoulders, while you drunk from your glass.

It was 2 AM, and he started to assume that he would have to drink three cups of coffee before going to the training session, a heart attack was better than an angry Tuchel. He started to worry as you were never this late from clubbing; you enjoyed it, but you would quickly get out as the environment, the strong smell of alcohol and specially your heels would stress you and send you home in three hours. Jamal started calling you, no answer received.

After 17? 18? or 20? – he lost the counting – calls, he went to his bedroom to get changed. He knew which club you frequented, since he picked you up more than once. On his way, he prayed to God that you would be there, and most importantly, that you would be fine.

He entered the club; the ambient was anxious to him, and he understood why he enjoyed these places only when he was wasted and laughing at any of Müller’s jokes. He quickly localized you and your friends, and he felt relieved when Robert was not here, or that Robert. He called your name and your friends to catch all the group’s attention.

“Jamal!” You shouted as you saw his familiar figure walking towards you, “I am so glad you are here” you hugged him, or rather threw yourself on him

“Oh Lord!” He quickly caught you, “Are you drunk?” A silly question, really, your face said more than enough

“Only a bit” You let out a small laugh

“Alright, now” He held you better, trying to put your arms on his waist and his on your shoulders, but you weren’t helping “y/n please help me, so we can go out, okay?” He pleaded, you nodded, but you didn’t help.

Both of you left that and ambient and you finally smiled when you felt the cool air outside

“You’re my príncipe” You smiled at him

“Príncipe?” He tried to repeat with a Spanish accent

“Maya said it means prince, so you are my prince because you came and saved me from that place”

“Why didn’t you answer? I called you a hundred times” He asked you as you he made your way towards the car

“You did?” You asked confused and took your phone from your purse, “Let me see… oh! It doesn’t work Jamal” You gave him your phone as you pouted

“I think it just doesn’t have battery” He gave you the phone back and smiled as he saw the car closer, but then he heard you sobbing “No y/n! Why are you crying, what happened?”

“My heels are killing me, I might bleed and lose a lot of blood” You let out as he opened the car’s door

“But don’t cry, look we’re here already” He helped you to sit down, “now we remove this heels, and we go home to rest, alright?” He cleaned your tears and left a small kiss in your check, before kneeling in front of you to take off those heels.

“I am Cinderella” You said as he gave you small smile

“I would be your Prince Charming any day”

Once at home, he gave an aspirin and a big glass of water, he changed your clothes to a comfortable big shirt of his that, and a Bayern sweatpants, he may appear murdered in the morning because you were a Borussia Dortmund fan, but he didn’t have anything else.

For Jamal, it was enough that you would spend the night between his arms.

Not Musiala scoring that last minute gol! (imagine the scenario in this context) Not a Bundesliga fan but my heart breaks for Reus.

About F1: Praying for Alonso's 33 and finally!! they are in my city, Sainz and Fernando are home, looking forward for a beautiful race

I hope you guys enjoyed it x. Any comments about my writing are welcome. Thanks for reading! and, btw I couldn't think about a better title.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited, but I’m getting a bit nervous about going to see The 1975. I’m a pretty new fan, as I only started to listen to them last January. I’m worried about being judged for not knowing the lyrics to all of the songs, cos I do struggle with learning lyrics, and I’ve seen so many TikTok’s slagging off “fake fans” who don’t know the words. I’m also worried about being judged for not being a fan of certain songs that others go crazy for. (I’m not a big fan of People, for example. It’s okay, but I tend to skip it as it’s not really my vibe).

I know it seems stupid that a woman in her 30’s is genuinely anxious about this, but I’m also Autistic, so I struggle with shit like this. It’s gonna be a big thing for me, as this is the first gig I’ll have gone to completely on my own.

Any advice?

oh my goodness I’m so excited for youuuu. 💗💗💗

babe, first off, let me apologize on behalf of the entire fandom. Old fans and new fans. For making your experience anything less than perfect. Fandom politics are fuckin insane and we need to just stop with that shit. I’m not sure if any of this counts as helpful advice but I think, while it is okay for some songs to gain iconic status, generally speaking, everyone related to and experiences music differently. Like, I think Robbers, Somebody Else, About You, etc will always be special songs no matter what because they’ve come to symbolize huge milestone moments in the boys career. But other than that it’s not fair for anyone to decide that if you don’t like a certain song then that makes you less of a fan because we all engage with the art that we like differently and for different reasons. Our subjective tastes are informed by our personalities and experiences and things we enjoy. How boring would it be if everyone liked the exact same stuff and expressed their enthusiasm of it in the exact same way all the fuckin time????

Plus, this is not Harry Styles or Taylor Swift or whatever. The boys make the kinds of music that they do because they know there’s not one right way to be a fan. They’re fans of a bunch of different stuff. What was it that the ad that mads received after her show described them as? 😂 @toomuchracket was it “genre-hopping”?? Lmao. They’re genre hopping!!! So if you don’t like People then you’ll POTB or LIIWMI or Playing On My Mind or Sex or Fallingforyou. Because the boys themselves love emo and punk but they also love country and pop and house music and 70s rock and soul etc etc etc. the idea that you must like certain things to be a fan is dumb and counterproductive. And if I could line these people up against a wall to smack them one by one I would. Cuz all that does is make the fandom toxic and makes newer fans uncomfortable.

actually I highly recommend songs you don’t necessarily like. Before my show, I was okay with Heart Out but it wasn’t like my favorite thing ever. It’s not like the first thing that pops into my head when I think of the 1975 and their artistry. But then they played it at my show and OH. MY. GOD. I am a changed woman now. The drums!!!! George made the floor underneath my feet vibrate. I felt it in the ground first then it went up to MY FUCKIN RIBCAGE. And the guitar??!! Jesus fuckin Christ. I mean I’m sure it’s just that they tune it differently for live shows but it sounded so much fuller and multi dimensional and stronger. Blew my mind. Now I LOVE heart out. Hahaha.

I also just think we need to be better at approaching newer fans because if nothing else they’re proof that the band is still connecting with more and more people and reaching places it hasn’t before and more people joining the fandom means they’re successful!! there’s only one wrong way to be a fan and that’s to disrespect their boundaries like fuckin morons on TikTok and Twitter stalking Matty’s hotel and his house. Or talking about house ATVB used to be fun when he used to be problematic even though that obviously hurt him mentally and emotionally and affected his career. Or like acting as if the 1975 is just matty. That’s the wrong way to be a fan. Other than that you’re literally doing what music was meant for and enjoying what you like nobody has any right to judge you for it and if they wanna be asshole they can get fucked. IM SO SO EXCITED FOR YOU. YOURE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!! The fans are generally kind and sweet for the most part I made so many new friends in the queue and in the pit I promise it’s gonna be amazing. please come back and tell me how it all went 💖💖

[thahxa]

so. tiktok.

what even is there to say here. tiktok is a bad app. it combines all the worst bits of facebook and twitter. it's intentionally designed to keep you on the app and rot your brain. i don't have a tiktok account for this reason. the chinese government uses its control over it to censor parts of their history they don't like

yet.

i remember reading on here about the so-called "open internet" that was with the analysis that while it was "open" in the abstract this internet was basically just an extension of the american empire. (every social media app is american. this comes with assumptions about what is allowed and what norms are possible there that are obvious if you think about all the policies and how they work in different countries. they have to be american by virtue of needing one global policy for the whole world and the whole team meaningfully being in the united states)

of course, countries wouldn't stand for it! after the tv and radio first being breeding grounds for exporting american culture through the world different states developed different ways of resisting it. some banned american social media completely to allow their own tech industry to flourish. some had a natural language barrier. in either case it's been imperfect: some of them end up on twitter and american social media anyways. europe, of course, lacking any consumer tech industry or desire to ever start one just came with us and conceded all of tech to the us.

we all liked brushing these methods of enacting types of social media that were extensions of your state instead of such silly illiberal ideas, ideas that were used because their states couldn't handle free speech and freedom (with american characteristics). after all, what state would get anxious of their people speaking up (on a platform owned and operated by an american company).

even then, we don't censor their silly censored social media. after all, you can still go on vk and weibo from america. we're different! we're the freest nation in the world. the greatest nation on earth. our social media and internet is truly free and open, they said, with every social media app in actual use owned and operated in the good ol us of a.

and when this actually gets tested? when a company in a country we're not friendly with thinks that they should expand into the us market?

turns out we're not so different after all.

[hypnoneghoul]

Do you think you could potentially maybe do "i’m here for you. don’t forget that." With Phantom and someone else, your choice? :0

slight warning for kinda panic attack

He messed up, again. He hit the wrong note once, one fret too low. Nothing significant, especially considering how his mistake was nearly completely covered by Dewdrop's guitar, but he noticed.

The fans noticed.

It was probably already all over tiktok and twitter, everyone was for sure saying how shitty guitarist Phantom was, how he didn't deserve to stand in Aether's place, how he was just fooling around on stage instead of paying attention to his playing. Even before Phantom even checked his phone after getting off the stage he knew what he was in for, it wasn't a first time. It happened nearly everyday since he first showed up.

Logically, Phantom knew that messing up was unavoidable with playing live. Everyone messed up. Dewdrop, Rain, Mountain, Swiss, the ghoulettes. Aether too did mess up.

But everyone focused on him, how he's just a poor replacement not worthy of Aether's Fantomen and Ghost's stage.

The quintessence ghoul stormed out, locking himself in his dressing room to try and not give in to the pit of panic that was widening withing him, trying to breathe through it.

He failed.

Phantom slid down the wall with his cheeks already wet with tears, body shaking with sobs as he clutched his knees to his chest and cried. He heard the ghouls coming to his door one by one, knocking, tugging at the knob, asking if he was alright, begging him to open the door.

Phantom considered giving in, but he was sure he wouldn't be able to bare the ghoulettes' sad looks full of pity, Swiss jokes that'd be supposed to help but would end up doing the opposite, Mountain's anxious gaze, Dewdrop's tries to be helpful, kind. But he could-

"Phantom?" he heard Rain's quiet voice through the door. The quintessence ghoul let out a shuddering breath, immediately crawling to open it. Rain was the only ghoul he needed right now, only one that wouldn't make it worse, for some reason.

Phantom unlocked the door retracting back to the corner as he waited for the older ghoul to come in. When Rain did, he locked the door again, and crouched down in a safe distance from the shaky ghoul, "Hi there. Can I get closer?"

Phantom nodded, barely noticeable, and Rain was next to him in an instant, hand hovering over his head, a silent question. The quintessence ghoul nodded again, and Rain's hand landed between his horns, scratching at his scalp comfortingly. Phantom let out the quietest hint of a purr at that.

"Yeah?" Rain said quietly, smile on his face, pulling a chirp from him, "Wanna sit on my lap?"

The other ghoul didn't exactly respond, he just unfolded from the ball he was curled into, and looked at Rain with his sad, wet puppy eyes. The water ghoul chuckled, opening histheir arms, Phantom immediately crawling into his lap, his face shoved into Rain's neck.

"There you go," Rain whispered into Phantom's hair, cradling the ghoul close to his chest, "I’m here for you. Don’t forget that."

[hypaalicious]

My internet was out for a week & this is my survival story.

No deadass I was kinda struggling 😭

But at the same time, I learned a lot about how social media is absolutely affecting my brain chemistry and it’s enlightening.

I’ve often had to take breaks from certain platforms whenever I find myself overwhelmed. But I always had an escape to like, other media.

When I ghosted FB for years, I took solace in Tumblr.

When I got burned out on fandom stuff on Tumblr, I ditched it for Twitter.

Whenever Twitter gets to be too annoying, I just scroll on Reddit.

But this was the first time in many moons that I had absolutely NO access to any of my vices. 🥲 Worst part was not having access to my besties on Discord, I felt so isolated and restless and bored. I depend on Twitter as like, my news station as well so there was a lot of FOMO on my shoulders. I was just sitting in the house like

I’m an asocial introvert but being absolutely cut off from the world at the safe distance I already kept it was brutal.

But, I went back to reading. I absolutely tore through Jacqueline Carey’s newest release in a day. I picked up an Astrology book I’ve had forever and read through that. I spent my time doing more chores or just… not having constant stimulus. I was still anxious because I couldn’t talk to my besties and also work on my VN stopped cause the team was waiting on ME to catch up 😩 But…

I’m calmer, overall. I feel less polarized and combative mentally. I have a lot to catch up on but it’s not as overwhelming in my head as it usually is. I feel like despite all my attempts at trying to get to a deeper understanding of astrology by following knowledgeable astrologers, I got more of a breakthrough NOT being pelted by a thousand astro opinions a day. Reading Carey’s book absolutely reignited my love for Terre d’Ange and adult writing in general; she has such a mastery over words I’ve only been able to grasp like ONCE in my life. I was all up in Joscelin’s story like

You really don’t notice how much you’re not being challenged in your reading until someone with her skill runs you over and you thank her for the privilege, LMAO!

I’m scrolling on Twitter now and feel detached from it in a way that’s good, I think. Being constantly informed is a double edged sword and I’m TRULY understanding how just… very reactionary social media is even when you follow people/topics that mean well. It literally cannot be healthy to absorb the knee-jerk takes and think pieces people make all the time, even if it shows me a perspective on issues I hadn’t considered.

It’s sad that my eternal fight with Cox internet forced me to take a sabbatical but I’m thankful for it. I need to be more disciplined and make my own planned absences from social media because I feel better not being constantly plugged in and doom scrolling. Idk how I’m gonna wrestle my ADHD to comply but ima figure it out, lol.

I guess this ramble is a reminder to take breaks from this hellsite and any other form of social media. It seems like nbd when you’re jumping from a YouTube video to IG to Tiktok all in the span of maybe 20 minutes and have been doing that for years. You don’t notice when you’re being overly influenced. You think cause you’ve curated your feed very well that you’re not stressed, especially when there’s extreme examples of unwell people on display to reassure you that you’re doing just fine by comparison.

Bestie, no you’re not. 😭 You’re drowning in stimulus and giving yourself no time to sit in stillness and find YOURSELF outside of all of the noise. Detox from all that and see how far you’ve REALLY come.

[wheelcr]

hiii how are you? can you talk more about finn in ur actress dr? like what does he do in his free time or what you usually do together? I'm sooo in love with him♡

-🧚

hii nonie! i'm doing good! a lil sleepy ngl but i'm fine. also!! i can totally understand why you're in love w bambi jdhdjd i am too </3

generally, i know finn listens to music a lot. everytime i go on discord his spotify status is always displaying some country or rock song from the 80's, even when we're together he always just has to have his earphones in or he goes like batshit and starts getting really anxious hshdn

he also likes to play basketball and skate! yes, he's tried to do both at the same time on several occasions. he once facetimed me to show off him and his roommate at a basketball court, tried to shoot a hoop from behind him and just completely embarrassed himself in front of me, i was screen recording and obv i posted it to twitter ( with his consent ofc )

i know that he's a huge music geek. he's always on his guitar, always mixing stuff on his little interface thingy which is too intimidating and complicated for me to even try and understand. most of the time when he leaves his laptop on when we hang out i just see like a music editor or like google docs w notes and lyrics open, sometimes it concerns me bc hello?? do you even sleep???

lesser known fact about finn, he loves window - shopping. whether it be online or like in malls in the city, i know from his mom that he's always looking at stuff but never buys anything

and when he's not doing any of those things he's either reading some vintage comic book or some teen romance / coming of age novel, writing movie plots and dumping his ideas in his little notebook, or playing whatever videogame is popular at the time

most of the time when we hang out it's with the rest of his friends, which, as you know, consists of a bunch of loud mf vloggers and content creators so we're just listening to them banter and do goofy stuff with their dry ass humor, often having the camera shoved in our face once or twice so they can get extra views

though during the times when it's me knocking at his apartment door at 12 in the morning, or like us hanging out on facetime or on discord, we actually just sit in silence, a super comfy silence

when we have the energy to go out and actually make plans with each other, it's mostly going to watch a movie in cinemas or just on his couch, or to the mall to try and beat every kid's ass at the arcade and bag ourselves a few new plushies, which he always ends up giving to me even though he won them fair n square

whenever we go to the mall we always always have to stop for frozen yogurt, it's literally a requirement for whenever we go out. we cannot go home unless we get frozen yogurt

i always end up with like a keepsake when i hang out with him. especially if i'm visiting him after months and months of being busy with our own projects, i always go home with like a new headband or a new plushie or a new keychain

finn's love languages are definitely touch and gift - giving. him randomly handing me something, even if it's like a cheap box of chocolate from the convenience store, it's like his own little way of going 'i missed you' and it makes me smile so fucking much it hurts

anyways— other than that we're normally just dancing like idiots in our room to taylor swift or some old music, or yelling each other's ear off trying to get mvp in call of duty, or filming stupid shorts that will either never get released to the public, or are posted on my personal tiktok account that only dedicated fans will find ksjsks

[otrtbs]

hi nat!! can I please have 🍭+ 🧿 + ☯️? <3

Loops!!! HELLOO!! <333

🍭 why did you start writing?

i wanted 2 geek abt art history and jegulus at the same time hahhahaha

🧿 what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

oooh this is good. i don’t ever take things personally if a fic “doesn’t do well” it never bothers me just because i never expect anyone to read it! i just post stories im interested in and i’m always so thrilled when even one other person is interested in it as well 😋

writing experiences that happen when i receive negative or mean comments do hurt sometimes! but at the end of the day, for me, i remind myself that i’m not a professional writer!!! i’m not in school for writing, never took a creative writing class b4 in my life,, and i certainly don’t have a publishing house backing me !! for me, fic writing is a hobby and if ppl have issues w it, well that’s on them bc i’m having fun 😌

☯️ how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i do think engaging with each other through social media can be very healthy in fandom instances because i find, for the most part, that engaging w others humanizes you a bit (if that makes sense?) like, when i had a tiktok and someone made a mean video on tiktok abt ahb! i just commented “:(“ on it and the person deleted the video. ahsjdks. i think ppl don’t think that the person will see the mean comments or videos that they’re making about them, and just being more present makes you more human (not that i think this is right or fair ,, it’s just smth i’ve noticed personally)

on a more positive note!! it’s allowed me to make so many friends, people i adore !! and it’s so fun to have a little community to talk to and share things with!!! i am pretty anxious when it comes to reaching out to other people in the fandom (i feel like more than a few people on here can attest bc i slide into dms w profuse apologies and extreme awkwardness most times ahdjkda) but i have found some wonderful friends and i just have to remind myself of that !! reaching out can lead to the most wonderful friendships :,))

q’s from this ask game!

[tayloralison]

your post about never meeting taylor I agree so much I could never post on tiktok because I don't want to show my face on sm and I hate my voice I just couldn't make videos and then risk irl people seeing them, I've always liked tumblr as a sm because there's nothing like influencers or its not about followers or anything it's just about fandoms but she's not here anymore and on twitter it's hard interacting with people and the only time she's liked stuff on there is people buying stuff or recreating the cover which again showing face I can't do that and I can't afford to buy physical merch most the time so yeah I don't think I'll ever get noticed and it's not a big thing with other celebs I like because most of them it's by chance you meet them and they don't really have sm but with taylor she's properly known for meeting and interacting with fans and the not being able to have physical things to show you're a fan is one thing that's isolating and then eventhough I feel happy for her interacting with others I do start to feel isolated when I think about it too much especially when she announces a tour in the future knowing I won't probably be able to afford it and on the off chance I could I wouldn't be able to go because no one irl would go with me and being in a crowd like that makes me very anxious do you think she still reads fan mail can you still send those idk how to...honestly she makes me feel a lot with her music and I just want to be able to tell her that in any way possible

yeah exactly. i like to make gifs and that's just not possible on other sites like tiktok and twitter. people do on twitter but not sets or multiple gifs so it's not the same. and personally, i don't want to actively try to meet her, if that makes sense? i just wanna do my thing, talk to friends here, and if by chance, an opportunity comes to meet her that'd be cool!! but i'm not going to different social medias just for a higher, but still small, chance to meet her when those sites aren't my thing.

i like the quiet bubble-type vibe here. you control what you see.

i think there is a chance she'll lurk on tumblr once tours starts to meet people during shows. but i also don't know where she'll tour/if i can go.

and honestly don't worry about the merch! you're not the only one. i haven't bought anything this era. the vinyls are great, the clock is a great idea, but imo to me, it's overpriced and not what i'd like to purchase (but i will the purple one once/if that's available in canada).

[sweetmonsooncos]

tw; mental health talk, mentions of unaliving attempts and depression

So I've been dealing with the fact I relapsed last year and it's been 112 days since it happened

As part of me recovering, I've been having therapy every week to try and work through what happened to me and get me in a place where I feel confident enough to come back online fully

Many of you won't know this, but I was very active on other platforms like Facebook, Instagram, tiktok and twitter but just before my attempt, I wiped myself off everything

I've kept Tumblr up because it's been a place for me to show off my cosplays without feeling judged and because I miss having a tumblr and engaging in fandom the way that I can on here

I haven't cosplayed properly since my nervous breakdown in July because I am so terrified of being rejected by people

(I did some costests which I've posted and after all the photos I've taken, I've gotten out of cosplay immediately and started crying bc I feel so ashamed and I had to fight off urges to kill myself for a long time afterwards)

I've lost all confidence in cosplaying because of my stupid anxious ass misreading situations and blowing things out of proportion and it is so fucking hard trying to get that spark back

I want to come back and share cosplays the way I used to, but I'm so scared that people are going to turn me away and that I'll get rejected in a space that I thought was safe for someone like me

I feel like everything I do isn't good enough and when I finally find a space that I feel I can be myself in, people don't want to know me and are completely indifferent to me

This isn't me saying anybody has done anything wrong, these are just the things my anxiety has made me believe but my god its so difficult to break from the cycle

I've spent weeks looking at fabric to buy to start making cosplays again but I get too scared and don't bother

I've even had nightmares about people rejecting me again in the space so I've decided when I actually come back fully online, I'm not going to bother interacting with people the way I used to because there's no fucking point when they'll turn me away sooner or later

I'm going to make cosplays, post them online and just leave it at that. No cons, no shares, no comments, just keep myself at a distance because I can't handle being rejected again and going back to square one

Which sucks because I got so much enjoyment interacting with people and making friends, but I don't want to relapse again and nobody will care enough to reach out to me because why the fuck would anybody bother interacting with me?

I'm nobody

I don't mean anything to anyone

Nobody considers me a friend in that community

I do often wonder if there is even any point in doing cosplay altogether and just taking my life offline completely because I can't let myself be hurt again

The only reasons I'm not is because I already have a platform for my author work and bc this is something I am working on fixing

But I'm learning to unpack it all in therapy and I hope that I'll be in a better place by the time I'm done and I'll be looking at this differently

If anybody read this, thank you, I am alright, I just needed to vent about things because it really eats away at me

Recovery is so fucking hard.

[lightlyt0astedtoast]

I'm back!

Tldr at the beginning so you don't have to read: I was on Tumblr before, I left, I'm back. I like Typology, MDZS, DSAF, PJSK, and Vocaloid. I'll make a real introduction later.

I've literally posted and deleted like 5 posts trying to reintroduce myself to tumblr. Once you spend years on TikTok, where if your post doesn't get at least a few likes within the first 30 minutes it's a failure and you delete it, it's kinda hard to kick the habit of instantly deleting posts out of embarrassment.

Anyway! I've come here to resurrect my corpse of an account. I made this account when I was a young teen and excessively delusional, posting about a disorder I thought I had but didn't, then when I gained a small sliver of a connection to reality and realized I didn't have the disorder I felt shameful and guilty, apologized for accidentally faking a disorder, then deleted all my content and moved far away from this website. I moved to posting strictly on TikTok, much more toxic from my experience, but I managed to fit myself into a small bit of a community. I didn't talk much due to being shit at talking online/over text, but I had a couple of mutuals and got a decent amount of traction for my Typology/enneagram content. I've been homeschooled since covid and have had zero chance to interact with anyone other than my immediate family for multiple years now, so it felt like I was sorta being social.

I'm back due to the fact my dad spontaneously blocked TikTok on our wifi, and with it, basically blocked the small semblance of a social life I had developed there. I use my YouTube to post only synth V covers (very rarely, I'm not the most confident in my covers so they mostly sit finished but never posted), I'm never touching insta again, and twitter (or ig X now?) is itself, so I decided to move here.

How tf did I even use this site back when I was younger?? I guess I had way less shame and social anxiety online, when I was on TikTok I was afraid to even comment, hell near 2020-2022 I was afraid to even like videos. Here reblogging is very important, I might just die. I will try my best to force myself to reblog posts I like and actually keeping my own posts up for more than 5 seconds until I get used to it.

I will make a proper introduction post later, but for now, what you can expect from me:

Post gushing about my faves

Random thoughts I thought was funny that I'll probably delete within the same 24 hours when I stop thinking it's funny

Typology stuff, mainly enneagram

Text posts about my interests (I can't draw for shit, so text posts are all you're getting)

Character.ai screenshots that I thought were funny (most likely in a big image dump)

Me bragging about my Project Diva/Project Sekai scores

And here's my interests:

Typology (big surprise)

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Dayshift at Freddy's (I know FNAF lore, but I don't consider myself a fan, so I'm a strange creature that is into a FNAF fan game but not FNAF)

Project Diva/Vocaloid/Vsynths in general

Project Sekai

My faves:

Nie Huaisang (forever a Nie Huaisang apologist)

Dave Miller (why he ourple?)

Jake Wilson (apparently I like purple)

Kagamine Rin (best vocaloid ever made)

Yuma (Synth V, idc if he's just a letter)

Ena Shinonome (sx4's are objectively cool)

Thanks if you read all that. I become a socially anxious mess online (for good reason, I'd think), so it'll take a while to adjust myself to a site that requires so much more active interaction. I'll make the real introduction post and then I'll try to post/reblog until I no longer have as much anxiety around it.

[t-lostinworlds]

This is very sincere because I’m new here but I’ve seen a few posts about it but what is so bad about spam liking? In my head it seems like if you like the work, then you should like it to show that. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m missing here. 

see, on tumblr, likes really don't do much. it's not twitter or instagram or tiktok. on here, a like can be interpreted as so many things at once and it can't always mean you "liked" the story. lots of ppl use likes as bookmarks. for me, it can either be, they liked it bc they enjoyed it or they liked bc they've seen the post but didn't read it at all. there's really no way of knowing bc it's such a passive interaction. it just so disheartening to see something you've put so much hours in just get consumed like it's nothing.

it's like putting all you're time and effort cooking a buffet for free, and then people come into your house, eat it and even take all the left overs, and then leave without as much as a feedback, a comment if they enjoyed their meal, or even just a simple thank you for sharing this food with us. if you think of it in that scenario, it's a bit rude and heartbreaking isn't it?

we share these stories bc want to talk about it. we want to know what you like about it, when want to know which part made you laugh, which part made you cry, which part made you all giddy or if the whole piece itself just made you smile as you read it.

a "like" really doesn't tell us anything apart from you read the whole thing i put so much effort in, you pressed this button, and moved on with your day.

reblogging shares the work to more people, it's like an appreciation where u enjoyed the thing so much you want to show it to other people too. commenting let's authors know that you've read the story and enjoyed it. something as simple as "I enjoyed this so much!" will keep us going for months.

and if you're not comfortable doing any of that (and I get it trust me. being anxious is a bitch) there's an ask box with an anonymous feature where nobody will no who you are.

i always reread comments on my fics, i enjoy seeing ppls unhinged tags on a gif set I made. it makes it feel like doing this is worthwhile bc I'm making someone's day, I'm making someone laugh, I'm making someone go feral over a scene of their fave character. a "like" is really just that. cut and dry and passive.

anyways, I'm not going to force anyone to do what they want on this site. but do keep in mind to support your creators by reblogging, or just make an author's week by leaving a nice comment on their work 💗