#and are gross for not liking the cool things (tm)

[stangeranfanficion]

Truely, I saw the term "Disney Adult" just gonna be another term to use to mean like autistic people who are too much into one thing, and my theory is basically correct now on YouTube. So good job, everyone 👍<- a lie

[allovesthings]

In my opinion, the butt jokes are incredibly incredibly tired.

So here are several fun facts about Dick that you can use for comedic effects/running jokes instead:

His hatred of Capes. Listen we are talking about Dick wore a yellow cape for 9 to 10 years in universe Grayson. The moment he changed his costume, he straight refused to ever wear a cape again, the only time he had to wear one, it was as Batman and it was very very frustrating for him.

You know that when he watched the Incredibles with Lian and Roy or Damian and Edna Mode came on screen with her hatred of capes, this was his reaction:

Someone else finally understand him. She instantly became his favorite character.

His tendency to put unknown substances/evidence in his mouth and being able to identify it by taste and his knowledge of what Heroin taste like (yep still not over it).

It's both impressive (the fact that he can actually identify something by taste alone is impressive) and gross and even his closest friends don't understand why he is the way that he is, Do we think it's the Bat training or do we think it's just Dick (tm)... I feel like it has to be just Dick, right ? considering everything in Gotham is a toxin of some kind ? How many heart attack do we think he gave both Bruce and the Titans with that ?

Dick Grayson namer of superhero things: Listen, I just learned that Dick named the Arrowcave and now I just kinda love the idea of a running joke that every time a classic superhero in contact with Robin has a goofy name for something superhero related, it probably comes from the 9 year old superhero who thought it sounded cool.

The Titans are never letting that go and Dick doesn't want to talk about it (but he secretly still really like the names, they were cool when he was 9 and pretty practical when you think about it, thank you very much).

Everyone has a crush on him (tm): Honestly it is pretty funny that everyone and theirs entire family have a crush on Nightwing (and also pretty consistent canon since Raven in ntt). The reaction of the batfam is annoyed because that's gross, it's Dick, theirs brother/son, and the Titans are amused (Donna, Vic, Garth and maybe Wally) or maybe sorta part of the people who have had a crush on him (Kory obviously , Roy, Raven).

You do need to be careful with that, but I think if you do the opposite of what DC is usually doing, you'll be fine.

Also you can also includes the disastrous first date with supergirl in that. She also had a crush on him and they date was so horrible that he considered changing superhero identity because it was so embarrassing (truly one of the greatest plot-point on Superman/batman world finest honestly and this series is genuinely my favorite modern/current series)..

His petty side when he doesn't like someone: Listen, Dick has a petty side, ask Helena circa Outsiders (2003), Talia (always), Jason circa the late 2000s (Morrison era) and Azrael (also always). When he doesn't like people but has to work with them, he is going to be a little shit because they have to know he doesn't like them. it's important. and the comedic potential of Nightwing, one of the most competent, known and admired hero of the community being so petty is excellent. 10 out of 10, I need him to work with someone he hates again just for the fun of it.

The last one is just an headcanon and do not have basis in canon as far as I know:

Sometimes, as an adult, Nightwing says Holy shit in front of a classic superhero and that superhero does a double take because they are so used to him saying Holy goly batman (and that include Batman).

[dadsbongos]

do u think u could write some of ur own personal headcanons for laios? i love the way u write him, it seems almost canon!

anon you dont know what fire youre messing with

also thank yew hehe :>

general headcanons:

Laios likes babysitting but does NOT want to be a real papa, he adores the idea of being the Cool And Strange Uncle but just imagining having to raise a whole person from scratch terrifies him

Usually conks out as soon as his head hits the pillow and he’s a damn heavy sleeper, he strikes me as someone that gets the dad snore when he’s a bit older

Likes doing physical activity in the moment, maintaining his stamina/strength n whatnot. But HAAATES the aftermath, he will not stop bitching about how gross he feels when sweaty

People scare him but I think men specifically scare him more than women because he mainly associates “men” with his old boarding school and military peers and his dad. Meanwhile the most callous woman he’s personally dealt with is like. his mom… who wasn’t particularly menacing and he doesn’t seem to resent her as much as he does his father

Most definitely called Chilchuck “chil” in their early days together and got his nuts sacked for the unintentional disrespect

Doesn’t drink often because the taste bugs him but when he does decide to, he drinks to get drunk. So it has to be a special occasion

The type of older brother to tell Falin food fills up your body from your feet to your head and when you’re full to your head you die

modern headcanons:

Definitely the type to unironically use little emoticons like :) or :] but his favorites are the cute ones like :3 , ^.^ , and :0

Would’ve played barbies with Falin as a kid and enjoyed it more than Falin did lol

If he were out with the group (marcille would have to threaten his life though, he would HATE “going out”) and Marcille or Falin deferred to him to deal with creepy men he’d feel like a superhero about it

Borderline mandated to have a high impact phone case by Falin because he’s GOT to be dropping that shit all the time. I just know it (projecting)

Would probably dislike resident evil as a series but thinks the premises are cool

Bouncing off that: he’s a big Undertale and Deltarune fan (definitely had a thing for Toriel at some point and probably thought sans was kind of overrated). Has ambivalent feelings towards fear & hunger, likes the atmosphere and item preservation and monsters but the assault scenes and overt brutalism ick him out from recommending it

Would go his whole life without an autism diagnosis until eventually held at metaphorical gunpoint by his friends, just for his parents to go “oh yeah we had you tested as a kid but didn’t want you using it as a crutch”

If monsters weren’t real he’d be cryptid autistic just so everyone’s on the same page

Cryptids major and ocean creatures minor type autism

I don’t think he’s straight by any measure but before he has the Realization, he’s the epitome of the girls gays and coleman meme

Segue omg: he has no desire to think more about his sexuality or gender than “i feel x” or “i choose y”. I think he identifies as Man(TM) but in a “its harder to explain i want to be a bog” way. If you referred to him with feminine pronouns or called him “girl” he seriously wouldn’t give a shit 

nsfw(?) headcanons:

Could never do casual, you would have to be committed or only know each other VERY distantly and only do it once. His ass wouldn’t know how to read your relationship if you were trying to do friends with benefits (he’s also very concerned with hurting people’s feelings so just the notion of accidentally doing that to someone he’s intimate with would kill him)

May seem strange coming from a bitch always talkin about fucking him, but I think Laios would actually have kind of a lower sex drive. Like he maybe doesn’t get needy very often but also isn’t NOT in the mood, so if you proposition him and he’s into you he’ll be like “okie :3”

That being said, when he does feel needy he’s NEEDY. It’s debilitating, he genuinely can’t do or think of anything else until his poor wee is taken care of :( poor guy aww

I can see him being a virgin until his early-mid 20s and having no shame about it (good for him go king, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of it literally doesn’t matter)

Also by virgin i mean rice purity test score of like 97

Swears he doesn’t like having his cock worshipped (says its weird and embarrassing) but he’s so flustered n drooly and babbles the whole time

Biter 

[multiversal-pudding]

Just. Thinking about Uzi as like. To me, Uzi always struck me as “the person who cares a ton in a world that just doesn’t, and has become bitter and angry at seeing other people not share that same level of care”

Like- on several levels Uzi’s shown herself to be a really caring person despite her angsty and angry demeanor-

her desire to build the railgun, especially in context of her ultimately turning around on N and helping/befriending him, feels like her motive (as well as finally getting respect and being something other than the weirdo loner/Khan’s disappointment daughter) is ultimately “I want to go actually help people instead of just letting the world out there burn”

Her and N stepping in to save the others, stepping in to save Thad, hell, the first thing she yells on entering prom is “UNHAND THEM YOU FIEND”, which. Very overdramatic nerd of her, but it also suggests on some level at least saving the others *was* actively on the forefront of her mind (even if it might be at least partly in a “wanting to look cool” way)

The fact that she got so attached to the Murder Drones, sympathizing with their needing to drink oil (even before that became direct empathy) and deciding it’s best if they work together

Hell- she might’ve had the comical underreaction statement of “I’m gross and eating people” when N was talking to her, but like that’s more than Braiden reacted when he killed someone, plus part of it was the fact she was talking to N- like. He’s done a lot of murder. Like. So much. (More headcanony but like. Maybe part of why she focused on her fears of him leaving her was that on some level she recognized that focusing on her horror over the murder might’ve unintentionally hurt him again? (I know I’ve had times where the main thing I thought about while actively having a meltdown was “but what if this is getting in the way?!”-))

Even in terms of personal relationships, it really does feel like once anyone gets over that initial wall, she gets attached to people very fast- she’s already getting open and vulnerable with N, and like someone else pointed out, her insult at V felt half-assed- Heck, after getting a brief window of clarity from her feral rage in ep 4, her first response to V moving in for the kill/the worst pain she’s probably ever felt is just to beg to see her friend…

Like- this isn’t to say she’s necessarily Nice- I think she should be allowed to be rough around the edges, she’s bitey and bitter, and honestly with how people treat her it might be warranted? Emily was the cross gesture REALLY necessary-

But also- I think that a major part of her is just. She’s defined by passion, be it for her projects or for her interactions with others. She’s a person who hasn’t gotten enough attention and has started to lash out and instinctively push people away first, but like. She’s got a lot of love in her I think, a lot of love that’s had nowhere to go in a way it’d be reciprocated for a long time… (also Ep 1 might’ve given her/reenforced some abandonment issues tm which. Fun)

[decepti-thots]

For cursed concept: rodimags?

i'm going to continue my terrible habit of doing these vaguely based on vampire media i have not watched and steal from my limited understanding of WWDiTS. and you can't stop me!!!

au where minimus is the vampire rodimus' longsuffering mortal familiar. rodimus is a vampire who is Fucking Obsessed with seeming cool and relevant and not like an old dried-up has been who has never been any good at being a vampire. (in this AU, the vampire thing occupies the same role as his temporary possession of the Matrix in IDW; it was an accident and nobody really meant for him to become a vampire. wait is megatron the guy who turned him. THAT'S FUNNY ACTUALLY.) minimus is the extremely underappreciated 'spare' member of an aristocratic house who decided to take this on because he wanted to find a Meaningful Path outside being 'the spare one nobody really wants who is no good at parties'. on paper, this seemed like a really good way to do that. in practice, rodimus is a weird asshole who spends a lot of time plotting against his supposed Vampire Nemesis TM thunderclash (who thinks they are old friends, and often says he is so grateful to know someone who understands the burden of their curse, what a good sport that rodimus is) and hitting on everyone both inappropriately and ineffectually. minimus wants to be turned so badly but rodimus loves having a Lackey and pretends not to notice. (this is less because minimus wants to be 'a vampire', and more because he wants literally anything that is not being an annoying younger sibling.) they wind up extremely codependent and everyone absolutely thinks they have been conjunxed for ages already by a few years in; rodimus relies on minimus to keep him feeling in touch with an (after)life that has been passing him by more and more, a task for which minimus is uniquely ill suited, and minimus relies on rodimus for a sense of purpose.

anyway, plot twist, it turns out minimus was a werewolf this whole time and never told rodimus and he's SO MAD when he finds out. (minimus insists that werewolves are mostly not what they're cracked up to be, and rodimus is overreacting. most of the stories are gross exaggerations. you don't even get to be actually immortal.)

[broodsys]

venting abt creative woes feel free to ignore <3

it has been really hard for me to post art, both drawing and writing. it's not just about engagement/lack thereof or abt concrit or about anything in particular. i just get so caught up in comparisons and breaking things down and wanting to be objectively "better" at it and idk if i'm even enjoying it anymore.

sometimes i think seriously about stopping? i'd still create but. just for me. idk.

and im having mixed feelings about fandom in general. idk. it's late at night and it's been dark for too many hours and ik that's putting me in A Mood(tm) but it's still been! hard! and i get sad and frustrated and self-conscious all the time

it just feels like im out here putting my ugly shit next to everyone's polished pretty pieces. and ik, ik, two cakes, i've been trying to internalize that, but it's hard right now. i cannot stop thinking about the pretty fics ive read and i cannot stop being so fucking envious of them and it feels gross! like i should just appreciate them? they're lovely, mine doesn't have to and shouldn't be a replica, etc etc, all these things i know intellectually, but... ugh.

and it's extra frustrating bc i know ppl like my stuff, esp my writing. they do! they've said it! ppl who have no cause to lie to me, strangers, etc. but i just can't feel it and im so... envy demon has a fucking hold of me lmao.

might be circling back to the going too fast/pushing myself too hard thing again. but i've just been dealing with the constant undercurrent of severe frustration with everything i attempt. i try to shake it off but idk, if it's this consistent...?

ugh. idk. i've been going back and forth on this for a while. do i push through? do i try to drop my standards? do i just keep all my stuff to myself? unknown.

like, no matter what im finishing my bigfic. for me. but idk. should i even bother posting it? it's not... it's not about engagement. it's about the fact that i feel like the whole thing is just kinda... an embarrassment? like i cannot stop looking at it thru the most critical, least compassionate version of a potential audience and it's fucking with me so bad. when im writing i enjoy it, i think it's cool, i think it's good. but then i post it and after a while im just so embarrassed. i still think it's good! but it's still also embarrassing! i've worked hard for years to learn to trust my audience, to not spoon-feed them every bit of information and then follow it up with a quick confirmation just to make sure they're getting it, but now i feel like i'm being drawn back into that.

i read it. i've reread it a few times, in fact, for pleasure and not for editing. i love it? but im also so embarrassed by it whenever im not like... actively reading it. it's just disheartening.

idk. it's my personal baggage more than anything ig.

anyway im genuinely not asking for my ego to be stroked here or w/e, just- this has been weighing kinda heavily on me for quite a while. it's very frustrating.

[eolewyn1010]

Daily commenting on Dracula's shenanigans, I'll make this another two-parter because this story is getting dense, yo. 1/2:

Sometime during the evening, Jack is called to talk to Renfield who's very agitated. He takes the entire dude squad including van Hellstoker with him to the cell, and Renfield makes some surprisingly smooth conversation (including bootlicking Lord Godalming and the author's avatar, plus Stoker's eyebrow-raising speculations on the future of the United States) and asks to be released from the asylum immediately. Can only assume that his Master-Slave thingy with Dracula didn't go so well. Hey, not every dom is compatible with very sub. Jack, knowing Renfield's mood swings, doesn't want to rush, and when Renfield won't say why he needs to get the heck outta dodge right now, Jack is all: "Okay, bye!" Causing Renfield to beg frantically, and to warn Ominously(TM) that there's a lot of trouble coming their way. Jack nopes out of there with the dude squad.

Oh, great, Jonathan opens his journal entry by mentioning how strong and healthy Mina looks! *sigh* We all know what that means; Mina is a snack. And just to top it off, he literally says he's glad that she "hold[s] back and let[s] us men do the work". Twat. Pretty sure this particular sexism aspect will hold on for a while. When the dude squad notes some doubts if keeping Renfield in the asylum is the right thing to do, Jack points out that Renfield's connection to Dracula is a risky thing, especially when it comes to mind control. He calls Renfield "a respectable lunatic". I love Jack. Then the dude squad marches over to Dracula's estate where van Hellstoker gives another brief pep talk and hands out guns, knives, lamps (electric lamps, too; how fancy!), Communion wafers, crucifixes and garlic for everyone. As they enter, the fucking doors creak dramatically. Eh, I forget that this probably wasn't a cliché yet when the book was written. Van Hellstoker spits an incomplete Latin phrase into the dark, but their sneaking produces nothing but a lot of dust for now, although Jonathan feels like they are being watched.

Off to the chapel they go, which has some gross stench on it of earth and blood (Jonathan talks of "miasma"; when has everyone gotten thesausrus syndrome?). And only twenty-nine of fifty earth boxes. Also, the Count is watching them from the shadows, but these morons wave it all off as hallucinations because whoops, can't find anyone once we go there with lamplight! But so things won't get boring, Dracula sics the rats of the place on them. Arthur, bless his heretofore unknown brains, opens the next door and blows a dog whistle he brought along, calling a bunch of terriers to them. Pretty neat. Where did he get the doggos? And what does he mean by "lugubrious"? Can I hit Bram Stoker over the head with a dictionary? Arthur sends those good boys after the rats while the dude squad smokes a cigarrette or something similarly productive, and just ere break of day they calmly swagger home because this old spooky house is fascinatingly unfascinating after all. Van Hellstoker for some reason says this was perhaps their most dangerous step...? Counting boxes? Oh, it's Subtle Foreshadowing(TM); he's glad no harm or trouble has come to Mina in the meantime. Right.

Back at the asylum, they are greeted by a madhouse's sweet morning music - Renfield moaning, some other poor soul screaming; who cares. Jonathan finds Mina pale and with faint breath, and concludes it's good to keep her uninformed, since "it is too great a strain for a woman to hear". Brainless sexist asshole. Mina awakes not fully aware, with terror in her eyes, and complaining of still being tired; our Victorian himbo fails to catch on. Two things: Can Dracula use his boxes as teleportation localizations once they are placed elsewhere? Because that would be hella cool. And: Mina and Jonathan are newlyweds. Shouldn't he notice the bite marks sometime when he, you know, wants to take a more harmless nibble himself? Let's see how this goes.

[loartacc]

Just a random? Thing? But i think its interesting how life changes your perspective on the media you consume.

As a kid i loved the hunger games. Because I was a kid with a wild imagination and it was one of my favorite worlds to daydream about. I obviously empathized with the characters in that at time, but I was like maybe 9 at the time? So I never really was able to get their emotions. I just thought Katniss was cool tm. I adored Haymitch and Effie and honestly at the time Haymitch was my favorite.

And then as a preteen (11-14 was this phase tbh) I was obsessed with the books. Going through my own abuse they kept me afloat. I hated the mockingjay book. It felt like such a slap in the face to see Katniss break down and just give up in some ways. I hated Haymitch at the time for not protecting Peeta and Katniss enough. He reminded me of the person who made the choices that put me in my situation and good god i hated him for it.

Now? As an adult who has some pretty bad ptsd, i wholeheartedly get why the characters act like that. I understand why Katniss falls apart at roses dropped on thirteen. I feel for her when she goes through her depression. I hid with the books the way she hides in the 13. I understand that Haymitch tried. He did his best in a lot of ways. I think, in a lot of ways the roses and the way katniss reacts to them is my most obvious connection to her now. I reacted similarly to how she did, shutting down and collapsing into my own mind for safety. (Extra context thats probably only funny for me: the reason the roses is extra similar is because my breakdown happened bc my abuser sent me a succulent in the mail. It was ugly and smelled gross too.)

The hunger games have been integral to my life and my growing up, and i just think its interesting on how my viewpoint on the books have changed and grown throughout. The books have been around most my life and its kind of an easy way to look back and see how i've changed.

Definitely not my normal post since all my original content is usually art but whatever tm! Ignore my typos please! I just had thoughts and they needed to be put somewhere!

[mcytconfession]

Woo… Light vent here with lots of words, but a soft tone I hope. Had to get thoughts out so I can sleep so bear with me.

Just came across a well-reblogged post full of people dogpiling on a server's canon story event that played a large role in the series plot, with users talking about how they hate any fandom content that interprets this event as something the character "did on purpose," or with any sign of them not being morally pure.

Their stated view was that character only engaged in X behavior to protect another character, with users shouting thanks to OP for saying they hate other views and that they agree this is the only clear way to interpret the event. Zhuh?! The comments were full of agreement that art and fics that treat X story event legitimately (as in, presenting that character showing no remorse, which they canonically didn't according to my personal watch) are annoying, gross, shouldn't be in the fandom, etc.

I genuinely wish I could ask someone who dislikes the story event (and is safe to talk to) for more info on their view that this character was only cruel during this event to protect someone... I do think it would be really cool to hear a polite perspective about their interpretation, which so greatly differs from my interpretation of X that I struggle to wrap my head around it, but… after seeing many reblogs and hate, I think I'll keep my head down. The event happened in canon, but even if it had been a fanmade concept that got popular, it'd be pretty hurtful to see so much bashing circulating.

They have the right to that opinion, but I wish it was kept in a community or a discord server of like-minded people rather than circulating, just because there were some pretty harsh things said.

I'd love to reach out more and make friends in this community, but I'm still new here and already feel very once bitten and twice shy. I've had a few harsh messages in my inbox from people saying they hate my interpretations and dread the fandom content I create (even when it's properly tagged and kept out of main tags in some cases), and... it just comes full circle I guess.

Even though my art may not be palpable to some folks, I'm okay with that. Sometimes fandom's just like that when you go against the grain. Still, it's certainly Something tm to see so much hate for a canon event (and bashing towards artists, analysists, and writers who take that event at face value) when it's one of my favorite plot points due to how much character depth and complexity it adds.

Every fandom has its fights and ship wars and hated tropes, sadly. There are story events that are not to some people's tastes and that's okay. I just wish the idea of squicks would resurface rather than so many things being seen as morally reprehensible, as I think it really stifles the ability to connect with people and experience the beauty and variety you get through having many points of view.

I guess at its core, it hurts because my dream is to listen to someone gush to me about something they're passionate about even if I don't personally know much or really like that thing, and it makes me sad that I saw such a surge of people thanking OP for their post and how they also agree that X interpretations are unwanted in the fandom in general. It's one of those things that make you wonder how many of the friends you do have would dump you if they find out you like X (which was not dead dove in my mind, but a plot point that depicted a character making cruel choices). I suppose that's how you weed out fake friends, but it's a doozy.

I'll do my part to make my corner of the fandom fun for me, even if I make unpopular content, as it holds value to me even if many others dislike it. To close, I'd just like to say I hope others will think about the words they're using, what group of people they hurt by their word choice, the fact that content is generally shared for free and you can turn away and filter if it's not for you, and I hope we'll have a warmer community someday <3

Apologies for the long post, and thanks. Seeing so much venom towards the imperfect characters I'm passionate about really caught me off guard and I needed to put it into words so I can sleep.

Wishing you and anyone who creates content that goes against the grain well, and I hope art lovers and fic lovers and analysis lovers who would love your content will someday find you!

.

[satohqbanana]

Satoh's Personal Comment-a-thon Part 3

About this new series/project: Since not a lot of people comment on my works, I’ll do it myself. :3 I aim to help myself get better by getting more conscious of how I write. One of the ways that I feel like I can accomplish this is to reread my works and post comments here. This not only helps me improve my craft but also promote my works.

Title: The Stink

Summary: Divorced from a Veldtonian?! How???

Warnings: Talks about body odor and an implied gross-out situation

Comments: It's time for ANOTHER review so here we go.

Off the bat, the author's note makes me smile. This is essentially a story about side characters. And I managed to still make it very interesting.

I find it amusing that Derez remembers Rhen and Lars coming by themselves into his shop some time ago to get some cool gear, and they are also polite enough to introduce their companions to him.

Right away, Derez finds a way to mention his little story. I have a stinking (ha) suspicion that he noticed Elini first, realized that it is a prime time to tell his stinky story and further "befriend" his patrons, and found a way to segue into that conversation. He's such a sly one!

I see a lot of online spaces where people who identify as women mention how much they hate men and all these aspects about them, but somehow I never see anybody mention body odor, which in real life I know is a huge turn-off. I guess not a lot of people discuss this in fiction, and even if they do, they have to also mix in stuff about bullying, gross-out, sexuality, and so on. I appreciate myself being able to talk about it in a way that would be more tasteful and light-hearted without leaning too hard on comedy.

Even the way I had Derez discuss the whole ordeal, including what seems to be Ilya's harmful behaviors, is I think quite tasteful. I love his voice, and I love the choices he made when telling his story. He doesn't go into unnecessary detail. He's not upset enough at her or their former relationship to trash her name, but he's clearly delighted by all of what had happened so far and he wants to share that, well, it is possible to annoy someone to the point of getting what you want.

And, of course, I adore having the guys of the party become very self-conscious of how they smell like after Derez' little speech. Smell is not something that is easy to hide, after all.

Finally, the reveal occurs through Lars, who had the opportunity to talk to Ilya. Like the last line says, that explains some things.

Overall, while I don't think a lot of people would've liked this, I like it. It's got that touch of realistic life situations TM in a light-hearted scenario. Solid 10/10 for me!

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S5 EP2

I'm so sad cuz I don't have britbox and couldn't watch the baftas today. And I missed out on David Tennant. But now it's time for Doctoe Who so now I'm happy yay!

Floating Britain?

Very spooky floating Britain

Aw kiddos

Bad Boy Timmy I'm sorry that's creepy as fuck

Wtf is this

This is creepy and weird

Riddle? Beast below?

Ew icky noises

Okay demon robot head

I'm still getting used to the new intro

Aw Amy gets to float!

Floating UK huh that's fun

It doesn't look very laughy

Lots of flags

No crying ugh that's not nice

An escaped fish lol

Okay these dark cloak people are very suspicious

So other people have also checked the water? Who? Why? Wot?

Are you a parent? Oof trying to get the backstory so quickly

Stay out of trouble? Ah yes the badly makes it more accurate

I mean I'd be scared of those creepy puppet things too so...

Very flashy lights

That's a living thing that is!

Right of passage, getting kidnapped

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi you're my only hope

There's an icky background noise

Ooh this is like a immoral social experiment cool

IT MADE HER FORGET WHY

HWHAT MESSAGE FOR FROM HER

More backstop digging

Bad day with bad stuff happening, great description

That doesn't sound like a wheeeee

Ew that's gross

That's so disgusting

Ommmm inner peace

Giant alien vomit gross I hate vomit

Okay they can walk

Oh she's royal

He really runs into a lot of royals

They're all robots ugh

The Tower tm

Okay so they're being horrible to the creature

I hate that sound so much

Oh wow 300 did they steal her memories too jeez

Oh a star whale that sounds gorgeous

It sounds mythical jeez

That'd so sad omg

Doctor, dude

I feel like he should step back a mo, he seems way too close to the issue

OH SHES SMART IT WONT ITLL HELP STILL CUZ THE CHILDREN WILL CRY

Wow Amazing Omg

ALL THAT PAIN AND MISERY AND LONELINESS AND IT JUST MADE IT KIND

I love that quote

HUG

Oh Doctor

Which prime minister, which British one

Oh hello Churchill! And Dalek!

A CRACK

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

What can I get flagged on here for ??? Like. Lets be honest one or two of you are actually reading these. And if you opened that last one that was hella long, even less. So like. This is going to be as long or longer than that one.

Lets all be cool here. Lets not make rash decisions and make assumptions about what I'm going to talk about here tonight. Because...I'm fucking falling apart and I'm tired and I don't have anyone to talk to.

I don't know what to do and I don't know how to cope with how I feel most of the time. Like??? How do people do emotions? I can't. I don't have time. And like, fer shure - 'you have to schedule it or it's going to come out whenever you don't want it to...' but????????

I'm always catering to people. People at work literally LITERALLY call me mom. Because if they need something they know that I'm going to have it and I'm going to help them and that I'm going to be there for them whenever they need me, even if it's not convenient. Then there's my literal mother. She's twice my age and can't do anything for herself. I did her taxes, I do her laundry, I wash her dishes, I cook her meals. She's able bodied. She's just lazy and won't do it and then she makes me feel guilty whenever I don't want to or just don't do it or forget to do it. So then whenever I do have time to myself, I'm trying to do things that I like to do that I never have time for otherwise. I want to watch movies that I never had the chance to watch growing up because I was busy mothering a parent that didn't want to be a parent. I want to play cutesy video games that make me feel like I'm part of something. I want to play Fortnite and Stardew Valley with my friends because that's the only time I talk to people who aren't my mother and aren't the people that I work with. Not saying that I don't want to talk to the people at work - but they don't talk to me outside of work so?

Which leads us to the Guy At Work (TM). It's always going to end up being about him. But I think I skipped everything about him in the last super long post and mentioned in the tags that I wanted to touch on this a little more. This entire next section about GAW might make me sound entitled and like a brat. But...I'll wear the shoes.

Here's this human. We hit it off right away. I've worked with him for about a year now, okay. And within the first week, we were talking and acting like we had known each other forever. He literally LITERALLY tells me I'm basically his only friend and that I'm such a good friend and this and that. But. He only talks to me when we're at work. And half of the time we're either getting in trouble with our supervisor or we're arguing. There's no way we're actually best friends. I don't know. We both know more about the other than we should. But. That's not really all a friend is because if it were everyone would be my BFF because I can't shut my fucking mouth. But it's the level of comfort. For sure.

I'm never going to be this honest again. So. Buckle up babies.

I'm not saying that I deserve to have him in my life. Because honestly I'm not sure that I do. i think that he's a great person. he absolutely has his faults and I'm not sure, but in a super gross and I can't believe I'm saying this in a place that's not my head - but I love him. LMAO. Like, probably not in a romantic way because I don't know him like that. But I do love him. He means so much to me that it's disgusting. I don't have friends and it's really hard for me to make and keep friends. But I feel about him the way I've felt about...I'm sitting here and I wanted to say the same as i felt about E, or Meggy, or??? But no. I never felt like I could be this open with either of them. Then it leads back to Dusty. Everything fucking leads back to him. I feel like I did when we were first friends. Before everything happened. The freeness and the openness and being able to just...be? Like are there some things I don't tell him - absolutely. For example, he doesn't know that I have a crippling crush on him, because he's too dumb to see it. And he doesn't know that I would quit my job if it meant he'd grow a set and ask me out.

I'm so scared of losing him. I hate my job and it's been stressing me out so much lately. In the past week, I left work early one day and took Friday off completely because I couldn't stop crying. I told him I was thinking about looking for a new job and I swear to God he looked like he was about to cry. But? Is it manipulation? That's what I don't understand. Jake was a manipulator. And I get the same vibes off of GAW sometimes.

Fuck. Like. Okay. This could be the autism, the adhd, the trauma response. I don't know. And because I never know where the feelings are coming from I never know if they are legitimate or what. BUT. I think i'd literally do anything he asked me to do. I would do whatever it took to keep him in my life, even if that meant staying at a job that I don't agree with their policies and politics. Even if it meant I would be miserable, because as long as I get to see him and interact with him - I don't feel as bad. When I first started working in his department, it was supposed to be temporary. I was working for a horrible woman and with horrible women. And during the last week that I was in their department, i was literally googling the least painful ways to die, how to write a will, how to get my shit together for last rites. Because I didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want to do anything anymore. Then, like I mentioned, within the first week of knowing him, I didn't feel like anymore. Within the first month, I stopped feeling like the only way out was to kill myself. Now, I've had my ups and downs and right now I'm really not doing all that well - but in the bigger picture, he's made me realize that there's more out there and that it's not that bad. Would I tell him that? I don't know. Probably. I think I have. I don't know how seriously he takes me. I know that I'm not his type romantically, which is okay. I wish that wasn't the case and I wish that he liked me that way. But again, it's okay. I wish I was. People at work tell me that he looks at me 'that way' - but, I don't see it. I'm fat? My hair is always bad. I have a double chin that doesn't stop. My side profile is weak. But we're not here to discuss why I'm not good enough physically. Are we? Maybe. Fuck it's my blog I can say whatever I want about myself.

Let me get readjusted because I'm losing myself a little here. A small recap. I'm tired and I don't know what to do with myself. I have unhealthy obsessions with people that probably aren't good for me in the long run and I know it and I don't know what to do about that either. I'm so afraid of losing GAW that I'm willing to just stay stuck. Even though we both know that is probably the worst thing for me. But I'm so tired of losing people.

Okay. Let me continue.

yeah. pretty much. after ten years E doesn't talk to me anymore. i could try to message her, but i'm tired of trying to keep it going because i did try. i truly did. meggy only talks to me sometimes and its usually because she's fucked up her relationship and doesn't know what to do and thinks that i do. i don't have anybody. everyone who was friends with me at one point...where are they now? yes. it's a two way street. but i tried. i always try. and i get tired of trying. i know that he wouldn't have anything to do with me if i didn't work with him. i know that when i quit, he'll message me once or twice a month until our birthdays - then he'd stop. and i'd have to start over. i'd have to try to decide if it was worth it to be open and vulnerable again. i'd have to detach from this unattainable relationship i've made up in my head. and that all seems hard and like it's going to hurt. but it already hurts. he used to message me outside of work. i don't know what happened. he doesn't anymore. he hasn't in a while. not in about 2 months. which...is fine? but it hurts. everything hurts and i don't know what i've done or if i've done something. i don't know if i come on too strong or what. am i desperate for a friend to stay. does he know that.

maybe he isn't a good person? he talks about women like their meat. he made a comment about dusty that didn't sit right. he's a one track mind. he doesn't take advice from people unless it's what he wants to hear.

he's tall and has nice hair.

have i made him more than he is. yes. likely. very likely. but do i still like him. even after i sit down and think about all of this. yes. gross.

it's me, i'm the problem.

shit.

shit.

you know this isn't even what this post was supposed to be about. I was going to come in here and tell you guys that i don't know what to do with my emotions and i want to cry but i'm too busy and i don't know what to do and i've been cutting my thigh, but i'm not even good at that because i don't have anything sharp except for a pair of tweezers and that i feel like i deserve to hurt worse than i do and i'm glad that it burns as much as it does whenever i put pants on and i feel it. and i want it to hurt more because i don't think that i deserve anything nice and there's not much of a point to living right now because everything is too expensive and everything is too scary and everything is too much and i'm going to die in the house that i grew up in because i can't afford a car and i can't afford a house and my mother is probably happy about all of this because she never wanted me to amount to anything she just needed a backup kid in case the first one wouldn't take care of her when she got old and once she moved out she knew that was going to be the case so she started ruining everything i had and everything i worked for. she didn't push for me to go to school, she didn't push for me to get a better job, she didn't push for me to get my license or a car, she still doesn't. in fact she opposes all of it. she has never pushed for me to get into a relationship. when i was dating she was mad about it and she hated everyone i went on dates with. she's trying to make it to where i can never leave and that i don't know how to be a functioning adult and that scares me and that bothers me and that makes me feel even worse about my life. we only have one bathroom in our house and i was taking a shower today and i was upset and i was like okay cool - i have some down time and i can take a lil cry break while i'm just standing in here. and all i could hear was her laughing in the next room and that's such a poetic parallel. you know? like i'm fucking falling apart and i'm too worried about everyone else to tell them all the while they're just chuffed having a good time and not worrying about anything at all. fuck i'm tired. i'm just so tired.

So. TLDR: I don't know how to deal with my emotions and instead of trying to figure out a healthy method of dealing with it - I'm doing stupid shit instead and i need to have a good healthy cry, but i can't.

any who i'm going to go play this stupid coral valley game to see if it makes me feel better. my entire farm is full of trash and i'm tired of cleaning it up.

[angelphylaxis]

Last ten character building questions for miles

You sicko but damn if I must then so be it 😩✌

Putting it under a readmore because damn i be milesposting

48. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

I would say luna (his wife) but honestly that has been proven wrong thus far - if only because the things he abhors/doesn't wanna do are horrific things like "don't be mean to your squire" and "eat your vegetables". all the women in his life with his best interests at heart would be hard pressed to convince him but it wouldn't be impossible. like he MIGHT do it if they annoy him enough about it but he's gonna be a bitch the entire time.

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

Never in a million years, unless the world depended on it. even then?? Man barely touched anything other than white bread for 10 years.

50. What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

I personally condone everything Miles has ever done and will ever do. He is a perfect moral pillar and always acts rationally forever.

(Miles may be Just Like Me FR but man he does forget about the rammies bro. Fantasy is a fun vehicle for you to fuck around and find out without consquences - greatest hits include stealing a dragon egg, telling a celestial creature to eat a guy, walking up to an angry dragon without armour on, selling a guy to a dragon, flirting with cerulean, playing uno with a horse. list goes on)

51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?

"Darling" in every conceivable way. I don't think he has any other catchphrases, aside from, "have you considered joining a union"

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

When i made him miles was always supposed to be the cool calm collected emotionless aloof guy but man did that not happen at all. I will say he does put on a brave face for stressful situations but ANY slight on him absolutely destroys any mind for reputation or coolness. Just ask him about blueberries.

53. Who would / do they believe without question?

Weirdly I would think he would believe Palar (or other villains) without any hesitation, especially in cases where he's particularly heinous and asshole-ish. Any confirmation that he is as sick and twisted as Miles thinks he is and he's bought in 3000%. Ironically I'm a very trusting person but Miles is a Doubter(tm)

54. What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

I had to look up what fawn meant in this context and whoo boy is miles a fawner. The more he ingratiates himself the more he's rubbing his hands together like meheheh they are right where i want them. And then he can go back to his WIFE and complain about them. He's done this at least four times in game so far.

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

If i dare split this up into the stages of his life I think the answer would probably be the same.

As a squire/knight in training he hated anything to do with glory or praise. Mostly because it would just get him bullied but he considered that shit pompous and cringe.

As a playboy/sex worker he disliked the sex part itself. Catering to people and seducing them was most of what he enjoyed, either as a ego-stoking measure or simply to pick up customers.

Now i think he rather hates being the hero. Man helps people as a means to an end (getting through the day) but boy it's a hassle. Can't people save themselves every once in a while. Why does he have to do it all the time?

56. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

It's happened several times in game now where Miles has some sort of horrible world-shattering fear that he's been confronted with and every time he has an overwhelming need to be comforted by the woman who raised him. Not to say his beloved wife can't, but mummy issues are something else.

57. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

Boring answer? Digestion. Can't feed himself, can't cook, can barely eat, don't even get me started on his movements. Dry as a desert down there. I don't have much of a fun answer I guess he sucks at being nice to people.

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

I don't remember if Miles has any hobbies at all that aren't just. Reading cool stories about heroes. He's a sucker for an unlikely hero. Other hobbies include childcare and being a feminist.

[dancerin-thedarkness]

Hauntology Response Week 6

I liked Everything Everywhere All At Once more than any other assigned text (is it a text?) we've covered thus far, yet I also find it more difficult to write a response to than anything else we've covered. I don't know why that is. Partially, it's likely because it's fictional. It's easy to connect abstract ideas that we find in essays to my life and my practice; it's harder to look at a fictional narrative and make those same connections. (This is, of course, hypocritical, since a chunk of my work takes its influence from fiction, especially cinema)

Anyway, something I do want to respond to is the idea that the movie has about the value of silliness and fun. This is a movie with lot of Big Themes (tm) and ideas, and it could easily be a dense, heavy movie. It wouldn't even be a bad film if that was the case (though it would be less enjoyable). Despite that, this movie chooses to be fucking hilarious. It chooses to have hot dog fingers and a lesbian dressed like lady gaga fighting people with dildos and googly eyes and existential despair represented by a giant cosmic bagel. None of those things are necessary, or conversely, they are entirely necessary, not just to the plot of the film but to what the film fundamentally is.

This, and the subsequent conversations we've had in class about this, have really prompted me to do some thinking about the role of fun and humor in my work. As I've said, a lot of my work is coming from this deep place full of trauma and heavy emotions, and it depicts things that might alternately be sad or scary or gross, and sometimes that's something that I feel insecure about. I don't want to be the angry sad lesbian making trauma art and body horror, yet...I am. I am all of those things, and yet I want my work to feel beautiful and to explore fun and joy. The main way that I strive for this is in my color choices and the aesthetic choices I make as an artist, when I make big saturated and textured pieces with neon colors and lots of brushstrokes and visual information. In a conversation with a professor during a studio visit (hi, neil!), they said that my work felt like it was trying to seduce them with color, which I think sounds fucking cool, and is also a good descriptor for my approach to color.

Moving forward, I want that push and pull to remain a presence in my art, and to become even more present. The obvious way to do this is to keep doing what I'm doing because, at least to an extent, it works, and I have fun doing it. In the same studio visit (hi, neil!) we talked about pushing the exploration of joy as a topic in my art. This is something I brush in my art-- or brush past, along my way to the Heavy Stuff (tm). This conversation did affect me and I have been bringing it to my practice lately, which is more experimental and confusing for me than its ever been, and which is putting more of a focus on positive emotions, like joy and desire.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with people who are marginalized making art about that. I don't think that there is anything wrong with people who are traumatized making art about that trauma. This is something that has been fundamental to my development as an artist and, more importantly, to my development and understanding of myself as a person. I just also don't want to be afraid to explore my joys and desires, or downplay either the positive mental impacts of that, or the potential beauty it could bring to my art. It is time for me to stop being afraid of the happy, and to stop feeling that the things that are funny or fun are somehow less than.

[katebihshop]

honestly? 5 year old me was right

[forever-rogue]

Hiiii could I possibly get an Eddie fic where you're friends with him and the guys (hellfire) and you're like totally into Eddie and vise versa. You're part of the hellfire club and Dustin keeps trying to get you two together but you're soo dense because "Why would someone as gorgeous and sweet as Eddie like ME" but he does. Wholesome TM with a heaping helping of fluff and confessions please and thank you 😁

AN | This absolutely got away from me, but I love it. This could be called in which Eddie drives you crazy. Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 4.3k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You’re staring again,” you turned to find Dustin, Lucas, and Mike watching you with amused expressions. You blinked a few times, cursing yourself for being so obvious but trying to put on an innocent smile  

“Staring at what?” you almost squeaked with each word, your voice going higher and higher in a very pathetic attempt at playing it cool. The boys exchanged looks with each other and you grew worried. They knew. Fuck, how could they know? They weren’t supposed to know. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so obvious.

“Eddie,” Dustin stated as your entire face flushed with warmth. You stammered nervously a few times, opening and closing your mouth a few times, “you’re not very subtle you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re…talking about…”

“Come on,” Dustin gently patted your shoulder, “we all know you like him. It’s kind of gross actually the way you look at him. It’s like…all heart eyes.”

“I do not look at him that way!” you hissed, hoping that he didn’t suddenly come over, “I do not like him that way, Henderson. All three of you need to get that through your thick, stubborn little skulls!”

“Just what do they need to get through their thick, stubborn little skulls?” of course. Impeccable timing was apparently one of the many wonderful qualities Eddie Munson possessed. You squeezed your eyes shut before mouthing a silent threat at the boys before turning around to face Eddie. Even though you had seen him a hundred million times by now, he still managed to take your breath away. His smile was lovely, dimpled, toothy, and magical. He reached up and flicked a piece of leaf out of your hair, “everything alright, sweet cheeks?”

“Yes! I mean y-yeah. No..no yeah, it’s all good. Everything’s fine…” your brain was screaming at your mouth to stop, the two of them completely out of sync. You sighed lightly before shrugging your shoulders, ”fine?”

“Okay…so everything is not fine,” he tried to keep a straight face, but you could see his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. You cast a glare back at the younger boys before trying to make the situation less awkward and suspicious. If that was even possible, “what’s up with you today?”

“Nothing,” you swallowed nervously as he leaned in slightly and you were immediately overwhelmed with the smell of his skin and cologne. You spotted Robin in the parking lot, getting ready to climb into Steve’s car. Your brain was not functioning properly so you did the only thing you could think of, “there’s Harrington! Umm, he was picking me up with Robin, so I better go! Bye boys, bye Eds!”

You swiped your backpack off the table and almost ran across the yard to the parking lot without giving any of them a chance to say get a word in. Eddie watched until you’d made it to Steve’s car before turning back to the boys. He laughed lightly before pointing over his shoulder, “well that’s a sudden turn of events. I was supposed to give her a ride home today. What did you guys do to her?”

“I don’t think it’s anything we did,” Mike snickered under his breath as Dustin elbowed him to keep quiet. Eddie, now thoroughly confused, looked between them. Something was definitely going on. Something that apparently everyone else knew but him.

“Alright, what’s going on with all of you?”

“When’s the last time you were on a date?” Dustin had a plan to get you to confess your feelings for Eddie or vice versa but that plan hadn’t fully come to fruition. Instead it was more of a half baked brownie of an idea. Eddie’s eyebrows raised in amusement as a tinge of pink rose up in Dustin’s cheeks.

“Why? Are you interested, Henderson?” Eddie winked as Lucas and Mike snorted in amusement and Dustin groaned, “I think I’m a little old for you. Plus you know, you’re like the little brother I never had.”

“Not me!” he threw up his hands in exasperation, “with a woman!”

“Or a man,” he reminded him pointedly, “but to answer your question - and thank you for your sudden interest in my love life - it has been a while.”

“You should go on one.”

“I…you realize that would require me to be interested in someone and them to be into me, right? Like as much as people think I would hold someone hostage, I wouldn’t actually do that,” he insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. He was dying to see where this was going, “so…I can’t really do that at the moment.”

“Oh come on,” Dustin reached up and pushed his shoulder, “there’s gotta be someone you like…someone you can think of…someone close to us maybe…?”

And just like that it all clicked. Eddie brushed a hand through his mess of waves before sitting on the table and looking at his young proteges in amusement. He said your name, watching the excitement and nervousness flicker across their faces, “is that what you’re trying to get at? You want me to ask her out?”

“Her?” Dustin was never going to be an actor, that was for sure. He was about as subtle as a big red flag, “oh, I don’t know. Do you think she’s even into you? Or…are you into her? Just you know…curious.”

“Okay, so one - you’re never going to make it in Hollywood,” he grinned at them nonetheless, “and two - what do you think?”

“Yes?” they all chorused and Eddie held up his hands in a small of a ta-da motion. Dustin’s face practically lit up with excitement as he exchanged a look with his friends. It was on, it was so on.

“You’re just as smart as they always say,” he reached over and ruffled his curls affectionately, “and just to be clear, I have thought about that before.”

“But you haven’t asked her…”

“Nope.”

“Are you going to?”

“Oh yeah,” he promised confidentially, “you know, once she realizes her feelings are not one sided. I can’t wait for that moment.”

“Oh. Oh,” Mike piped up, “so you know she likes you? But you haven’t said anything?”

“Sometimes, it’s all about the timing and the…build up, boys,” he had a smug little grin on his face, “I want to hear it from her. I don’t want to make her feel obligated or uncomfortable. But, I like teasing her too.”

“Eddie-”

“Take notes,” he winked as he slid off the table, grabbing his little metal lunchbox, “I’d love to say and chat, but duty calls. Hellfire - tomorrow night. Be there or be square.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You gonna tell us what’s going on?” you groaned as you buried your face into the magazine you were reading, trying to ignore both Steve and Robin’s burning questions. They’d had to go to work, but since you’d imposed yourself on them, you had to sit through their shift. It could have been worse. Steve’s fingers appeared at the top of your magazine before he pushed it down so he could see your face, “you’ve been silent since you practically jumped into the car. ‘Drive, Stevie, Drive!’ I know you’re dramatic, but even you aren’t normally so-”

“Weird,” Robin finished for him as he nodded fervently. She threw a handful of candy into her mouth, leaning against the counter nonchalantly, “it’s because she was trying to get away from Munson.”

“Robin!”

“Wait,” Steve grew confused as he looked between the two of you, “I thought we were friends with Eddie? Why were you running away from him?”

“Fine! You’re both nosey nellies,” you huffed as you threw the magazine down, “I was trying to get away from Eddie because Dustin was about to rat me out to me! He was just about to tell Eddie-”

“Just about to tell Eddie what?” you were not going to get a moment of peace today. You knew that much. Eddie Munson strolled into Family Video, a little smile on his face as he walked over to the three of you, “hey, sweet cheeks, did you forget I was giving you a ride home today?”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. In your haste to get away you totally had. Now you seemed like a jerk and an idiot. 

“I…I’m so sorry, Eds,” you sighed as you hid your face in your hands, “I did.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged it off as he leaned on the counter and watched you intently. Robin and Steve exchanged a look before she cocked her head for the two of them to go to the back, “just glad you’re okay. Are you okay? You seem a little…jumpy today.”

“Of course,” you breathed nervously, attempting to laugh off his suggestion in vain. He leaned in closer so there was almost no space between the two of you before he gently reached over and touched the dainty necklace you were wearing.

“This is pretty,” you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from making a sound, “is it new?”

“It’s the one you got me for my birthday last year, Eddie,” you stated matter-of-factly. You knew he hadn’t forgotten, you knew he was well aware of what he was doing. You swallowed nervously as his rough fingertips ghosted over your skin.

“Oh yeah,” and oh. The way he was looking at you made you almost want to lean in and kiss him, “pretty.”

“The necklace?”

“You,” okay. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. He was absolutely doing this on purpose. Had Henderson squealed and given away your secret? You were going to kill the younger boys next time you saw them. But…why was Eddie doing this? Was he just playing along for the fun of it? No…you knew that he would never do something to hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable. Instead you gently grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away, looking anywhere but his face. He made a small sound of amusement, “what’s wrong, pretty girl? Am I making you nervous?”

“Nope,” you took a step back and waved his concern off, “I, ugh…I just realized I have that…thing. I gotta go so I’m not late.”

“What thing?”

“That thing for…calculus,” you were almost as bad of an actor as Henderson. It made him smile even wider, “it’s important so yeah.”

“I can give you a ride.”

“No, no, no, it’s alright,” you insisted, “I don’t want to inconvenience you!”

“You would never,” he promised, “how are you going to get there without a car? Harrington’s on duty still.”

“I’ll…run,” you were almost at the door and practically squirming under his intense gaze, “you know, good for the…legs.”

“Running,” he repeated, “oh totally. When’s the last time you went for a run?”

“Umm, l-last weekend,” you lied, hastily opening the door, “gotta…run! Bye!”

As soon as you were out the door, Eddie burst into a fit of giggles as Robin and Steve came back out. As though they hadn’t just witnessed the entire atrocity from their little hideout.

“That was…something,” Steve sighed as he leaned the counter, “you know she’s totally into you, right?”

“Really Stevie?” Eddie snorted in amusement before helping himself to a bag of m&ms Robin had stashed behind the counter, “I’m shocked.”

“You’re being sarcastic. He’s being sarcastic, right?” he turned to Robin who just rolled her eyes at him, “wait…if she’s into you, and you’re into her, why aren’t you…together?”

“Working on that, Harrington,” he winked, “Henderson was trying to play matchmaker today and I figured it was as good a time as any. I’m just going to see how long I can make her sweat it out. It’s all in good fun.”

“You mean painfully cringey?”

“But fun,” Robin and Steve both nodded, “don’t worry lads, I’ll ask her out soon enough.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You’d somehow managed to avoid one Eddie Munson for three days. How you’d managed to pull that off you had no clue. He was your best friend, but you couldn’t face him. Not until…ugh. Sometime in the future. When you weren’t going to make a total fool out of yourself. So maybe you’d never see him again. That sounded like the worst option of all. 

“Hey,” the sound of his sweet voice startled you out of your deep thoughts as you almost fell off the pool lounger you were laying on. The book that had been in your hand went flying as you made a small sound of surprise. He sighed wistfully before grabbing your book and holding it out to you, “thought you heard me coming. I wasn’t exactly being quiet.”

“N-no,” you took the book and set it on the ground next to you. This was the first time you wanted to curse yourself for giving him a spare key to your house, “w-what’s up?”

“Nothing,” he sat on the lounge chair next to you, all smiles and curious eyes, “missed you. Haven’t seen you in a few days. That’s the first time in like…five years? Almost like you’re trying to…avoid me.”

“Don’t be silly, Eds,” did he really have to be so perceptive? Not that you were subtle in the slightest, “just been busy.”

“But we’ve always been busy together,” he cocked his head to the side, looking more like a puppy than he had any right too, “anyway, it’s a nice day out. Catching some sun? I’ll join you.”

Before you could say anything else, he leaned back in the lounge chair, but not before pulling his shirt off. He’d shot you a wink before slowly reaching for the hem and lifting the apparently offending article of clothing off and tossed it to the side. You were trying desperately, and failing, to keep your eyes to yourself. Instead you looked at the newly exposed skin. Why were you being so…like this? You’d seen him shirtless plenty of times, but right now it was making your mouth practically water. From the tattoos near his left collarbone, to the trail of hair disappearing into the waistband of his jeans, to the softly toned but muscular arms, you were a wreck. 

“E-Eddie,” your mouth ran dry as you tried to look at his face, “I should…”

“What’s the matter?” he asked oh so innocently, “are you okay? You’re looking a little…stressed.”

“Everything’s fine,” you lied through gritted teeth, ignoring the ache that was growing between your legs, “just peachy.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After both the incidents at Family Video, and when Eddie showed up at your house, you knew he was doing it on purpose. It was his motive that still eluded you. You’d allowed yourself to wonder, even if just for a few moments, if he liked you. Like…liked you liked you. Like you liked him. The idea was a mere passing thought that you’d quickly crushed. 

You’d planned to ask Nancy and Robin for their input when you were hanging out with them at the Wheelers’. The three of you were throwing together snacks for a girls only movie night, all of you deciding you needed a well deserved break from the boys. 

That was, of course, until Steve had shown up. Not only had Steve invited himself to movie night, so had Dustin. And Lucas. And Max. Tagging along, naturally, was Eddie. This had to be some sort of colossal joke. The universe was conspiring against you, pure and simple. 

“Hi pretty girl,” he really did have a nice smile. It was easy to look at, or his eyes. They were nice eyes. They - fuck. You shouldn’t have been thinking like that. Not about your best friend. You offered him a tightlipped smile of acknowledgement, “everything alright?”

“Yup,” you turned to grab a bag of chips from the cabinet but found yourself unable to reach. Within a heartbeat, Eddie was behind, his hands, so warm and large, held your hips as he gently shuffled you out of the way. But not before he brushed his nose tenderly along the exposed skin of your shoulder and neck. You could swear you felt his lips ghost over your skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He only moved you to the side when he heard you inhale sharply. He was able to reach without any effort, and held the bag out to you, “t-thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he was standing between you and the counter, his arms braced on either side of your body. He was so close that you could see the different flecks of chocolate in his eyes, and the faint dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. His lips were so full and plush, looking more kissable than they should have. He was studying you as you studied him, the corner of his mouth ticking up in a small smile, “are you okay? You look…worried.”

“I-I’m okay,” you lied, making it a point to keep your eyes just over his shoulder, “good as ever.”

“You look flushed,” he mused as he brought a hand to your face, pressing the back of it to your forehead and cheeks, “very hot.”

“Eds-”

He dragged his hand down to the side of your neck, resting two fingers against your pulse point as you let out a shaky breath, “your heart is racing. I think you need some-”

“I’m fine,” you pulled his hand away and ducked under his arm to take a few steps away, “just tired. It can make your heart beat faster. And it’s hot in here! I’ll have to ask Nance to get the ac going.”

“Feels fine to me.”

“Well, you…you’re…”

“I’m what?” he smile was practically wolfish as he watched you, “I’m fine.”

“You’re-”

You heard the call of your name from the living room. You’d never been so thankful for Steve Harrington before. You shrugged at Eddie before almost running over to Steve. Anything to get a breath of air away from the current bane of your existence. Eddie Munson was going to be the death of you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After almost three weeks of the back and forth of Eddie driving you crazy, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You needed him to stop, especially if he knew about your feelings for him. Which, if he did know and was just doing this for a laugh, would have broken your heart. But he wouldn’t do that…right?

It was late in the evening when you found yourself at his trailer, knocking loudly on the door. There were a few long moments of pause as you waited for the door to open. When it was, you found yourself staring at Eddie, in a white t-shirt and pair of gray sweatpants. His dark hair was even more wild than usual and if you’d been weaker you’d have jumped on him then and there.

“Hi pretty girl,” he opened the door and you stepped inside, suddenly feeling nervous. You’d been here countless times before, hell had even slept with Eddie in his bed many times, but right now it all made you want to throw up with nerves, “to what do I owe the pleasure? You could have called and I could have ordered a pizza or something.”

“I…no,” you took a deep breath before steadying your resolve to actually confront him. You weren’t just going to run and hide away, “Eddie. You…I…the past few weeks have been different. You’re driving me absolutely crazy because no matter what I do, I can’t get you off my mind. It’s like everything I do or think about ends up back at you. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus, it’s just all about you in my head 24/7. And you’re my best friend, so it’s not that weird that you occupy such a huge chunk of my life, but lately it’s like you’ve been trying to make it hell. I know you’re not stupid and I know you know I’m not. So I’m sure somehow, maybe it was Henderson or one of the kids, you found that I…I have feelings for you. Feelings that definitely don’t include you as just my best friends.”

“Shh, listen-”

“No you listen, Edward Munson. I…think about you and everything is better, like everything just makes sense, you know? I worry about if you’ve eaten enough, gotten enough sleep, whether or not you remember your homework, if you make home safe after band practice, if you’ve remembered to do your stupid laundry, everything. I think about kissing you and-and being with you. Just you and me, and everything that entails. I just…you are the biggest piece of my heart, and I feel like you’ve been messing with me for the past couple of weeks since you found out or whatever. But I…I can’t do this, Eddie. I can’t have you treating me like this, like you could possibly have feelings for me, when I know you don’t.”

“Baby-”

“I-I know I’ve probably ruined everything, our friendship, all of it by telling you this. But I just couldn’t stand it any longer,” you were waving your hands around as you felt tears pricking at the back of your eyes. Eddie was just standing there, watching you intently, making this even harder, “and I’m sorry for fucking things up but I couldn’t not tell you. You’re my best friend, my other half, sometimes the better half and sometimes the worse one, but I…I’m in love with you. You, you dumb, goofy, man. It’s always been you. It’s always been you that I see in my future. And now I’ve ruined that and I’ll learn to live with that - maybe - but I just…you drive me absolutely crazy in every sense of the word. You, Eddie Munson, are…everything to me. And I’d rather have you fully and completely than just as my friend.”

It was silent for a few long, tense moments as your chest rose and fell rapidly. When Eddie didn’t say anything, your heart broke further and you realized you’d just made a huge mistake. A few tears rolled down your cheeks as you moved towards the door, ready to run and hide, “I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done this…I’ll go.”

Before you could take a step further away from him, his fingers wrapped around your wrist as he gently pulled you back to him. He was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, but he didn’t seem…mad. His hands found your face, the metal of his rings cool against your skin as he tenderly wiped away your tears.

“You’re telling me,” he whispered softly, “that you haven’t noticed that I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you?”

“No, I - wait, what?”

“You are so many things,” his expression was soft as he held your gaze, “but I didn’t think blind was one of them.”

“Eddie, I-I don’t…”

“I have been in love with you since the day I met you,” he was smiling now, and his words finally hit you, “from the first day when I bumped into you in the hallway at school and we both dropped everything and you told me to watch it idiot. I was a sucker for you then.”

“But I was mean to you.”

“Your words had no bite,” he insisted, “and then when you showed up for Hellfire and saw that it was my club…I still remember your face. I wish you could have seen it. You apologized and asked if you could still join in despite the fact that you’d called me an idiot.”

“Eddie.”

“And how could I have said no to the pretty girl that just wanted to play dungeons and dragons?” he asked as you laughed nervously, “I would have easily said no to every other girl. But not you. I knew you were different.”

“If I’d realized you’d be the dungeon master I probably wouldn’t have come,” you admitted nervously.

“Well, we would have met some other way, I’m sure of it,” he promised, “but you know, I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to top your speech. That was…wow. If I’d known you felt that strongly I would have made a move a long time ago.”

“Oh?” you laughed through your tears, these ones happy rather than nervous or upset, “that’s what you call the hell you’ve been putting me through, Munson? Making a move?”

“Mmmm…more or less,” he teased as you put your hand on his chest, “I was wondering when you would finally say something. I love you, my pretty blind girl, but I love teasing you too. You’re cute when you’re nervous.”

“I wasn’t…nervous…” you lied meekly as he leaned so his lips were inches from yours. You could smell him, a mixture of smoke and mint and warmth that was all him. You swallowed nervously and he felt the puff of air against his lips, “I was never…”

“Nervous,” he finished for you. You could feel his lips brushing against yours now, electric shivers running up and down your spine, “of course not. I think you know what I’m about to do, right? Or would you prefer if I-”

You didn’t let him get another word in, teasing or otherwise, before you crashed your lips onto his. Your sudden reaction caught him off guard for just a moment before he responded in kind, his lips chasing yours, both of you desperate for the other after so many years of wanting and waiting. 

He brought his hands to your waist, brushing them under the hem of your shirt and splaying them against your soft skin. You looped your arms around his neck and held him as close as possible; you wished you’d never have to let him go. Kissing Eddie was better than anything you could have imagined, and now that you knew what he tasted like, how he touched you, how his lips felt against yours, you never wanted to forget. 

You only broke apart when you needed air, and he pressed his forehead against yours. He was smiling now, that same easy smile you loved before exchanged a small giggle, “beat me to it. Always imagined I’d be the one that kissed you first.”

“I’m just finishing what you started,” you pressed your lips against again, stealing a few slow, sweet pecks from him.

“It’s been you too,” he whispered as he nudged his nose against yours, “that I see my future with.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he promised softly, “always you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Munson,” you beamed at him, “even though you drive me crazy.”

“Let me,” he pressed kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and nose before going back to your lips, “show you how crazy I can drive you.”

“Yes please.”