#and as a result this guide is responsible for 12 year old me

[violethowler]

I went through multiple copies of this book in middle school because the binding was terrible and the pages would keep falling out, so i eventually started using the internet to make DIY strategy guides. Seeing the official one again after so long is a blast from the past

Kingdom Hearts II Official Strategy Guide (Source) Sora's Forms

[elhoimleafar]

DREAM WITCHERY. Have a Month Out this Week!

Let me tell you a couple interesting facts about that.

A month ago, my latest book, Dream Witchery, was released by Llewellyn Worldwide and hit the shelves everywhere. I AM delighted with the amazingly positive response everywhere, from a total Sold-out in several US stores to an immediatly Out-of-Stock in Amazon UK.

Also, during the edition process, the book was adapted into a 12-hour audiobook, narrated by Gary Tiedemann and distributed by our absolute favorite: Tantor Audio

Also, the rights have been acquired to later translate and adapt the book into Portuguese... Published at any moment in the next few years.

Because it is a 400-page book, some stores still do not have it, which is easy to understand; even if they need it, this book takes up two or even three books in a shelter. We are talking about 400 pages of pure magic and South American folklore curated (as it should be) by someone from South America.

Dream Witchery began as a small collection of notes on dream magic from various journals I brought from Venezuela & Brazil, translating these and constantly comparing notes while curating each line as much as possible.

All of these notes had something in common with the manuscript. They came from different tribes, cultures, and parts of South America. I group these notes by country and later by tribe of origin. I was making it a tribal-dreams-magic grimoire.

From the Caribs and Yanomami to multiple other families/tribes that inhabit the central and northern region of the Amazon, especially those near our most significant rivers, learning sorcery, hunting, and medicine is just a part of Dream Witchery.

This manuscript had about 65k words written at the time of its presentation to the publishing houses, this was before including all the collaborators and guests from different regions and cultures who agreed to be part of this work.

This book had 65k words at the time of its presentation to the publishing houses before including all the guests from different regions and cultures who agreed to be part of this work. They gave the book a diverse, beautiful flavor and a - yet necessary - contrast.

Dream Witchery was rejected and questioned by multiple editors and publishers for (as they mentioned) "not being commercial enough" or "too black." They would prefer (as always) a book written by a British woman or a white American man about OUR culture. Or a simple other Spellbook.

One of the most important contributions in this book was having the help and support of my partner, David Dagnino who, in addition to being an Engineer who graduated with honors, is a dedicated freelance illustrator and has carried out multiple projects in the past, not only for me.

I needed more than an illustrator, someone from my country and land who knew my culture and who could represent it in detail, from the old skin-changer man with his cigar and horns from Nueva Esparta to the devilish tree of Trinidad and the masks of the dancing devils of Yare.

Working on each illustration separately one by one and constantly modifying them under the editor's notes to improve their quality took hours and hours of work every day, and the result was worth every second.

Because bringing positive and quality representation was always the goal.

The editor's notes made by Heather Greene during the editing process were our daily homework; she perfectly knew how to wisely press the points necessary to maintain the work, which was pure and balanced for readers.

She knew how to balance a 400-page book; she guided each step of the process gently but with due and notable experience. Dream Witchery passing through her hands was a compilation of journal-like notes that became a beautiful, orderly manuscript for Llewellyn Worldwide

The enormous team behind Llewellyn understood that Dream Witchery was not another book on dream magic but a magical compilation of tribal stories, initiatory rites, formulas, and Amazon folklore with dozens of necessary footnotes to shape the book's spirit.

Writing formulas and rituals that you have witnessed many times but have never read in another book was difficult. This required acting like a storyteller, telling the reader every detail of what you experienced and saw from your eyes and helping the reader to understand the world from your vision, from what you lived, over and over again.

Imagine being present during a 12-hour ritual with at least a hundred people in the mountains, comparing your notes with others, and trying to detail the essential points so the reader can glimpse what you experienced at a concise age.

To close the final process, the collaborators and endorsements came, and each of them was chosen from a long list of possibilities to offer a picturesque and colorful contrast, to offer and celebrate our magical diversity.

Most of the books of Witchcraft having contributors limit themselves to inviting just invite the AMZN-best-selling American authors of the moment (not very diverse). This community includes celebrated authors, yes, but also bloggers, event organizers, store owners, jewelers, and artists who use their platform to elevate others. And I want it to celebrate them too.

For this reason, those invited to collaborate on Dream Witchery were so diverse, and each one had something completely different to offer, from recipes from my mother and grandmother to recipes from authors and bloggers from Latin America and other parts of the world.

Featuring among many others contributors in Dream Witchery:

Ariana Carrasca - Oncle Ben - Maria Elena U. - Miss Aida - J. Allen Cross - Lorraine Monteagut - Hector Salva - Laura González - Phoenix Coffin Williams - Jennifer Sacasa-Wright - Dawn Aurora Hunt - Alysha Kravetz - Mira A. Gade - Laura Davila - Emma Kathryn - Temperance Alden - Mawiyah Kai EL-Jamah Bomani - Ella Harrison.

They bring (literally each one of them) something unique, magical, beautiful, and authentic to this book.

The last months before publishing a book are full of nerves, constant anxiety attacks, at least in my case, and few breaks. But having the blurbs of other authors who read the book was the most positive support it could require, and that came from those who read and endorsed it.

#dreamwitchery was beautifully gifted with magical words by the people I most respect in this community. Including Vincent HigginbothamJake Richards - AuthorJudy Ann NockClaudiney Prieto Rebecca Beyer. And Annwyn Avalon they give it like a powerful blessing.

And now that eight years of work (the same time I have been living in the USA) are available in your local bookstores and virtually everywhere, it is an ancestral celebration of life, the words of the ancestors of my land, and the ancestors of many others, healing the world, one reader at a time... I Am just Happy and really Grateful.

PS: For those who don't have it yet, Dream WItchery is available in your favorite local bookstores. Barnes & Noble and Amazon Kindle

And available here below too:

[laurencna]

Whatever You Need to Know About Getting Your NJ CNA License: A Step-by-Step Guide

Everything You Need to Know About⁣ Getting ​Your NJ CNA License: A Step-by-Step Guide

Are you considering a career ⁢as a⁤ Certified nurse ⁤Assistant (CNA) in New Jersey? Acquiring your NJ CNA license can be a rewarding step into the healthcare field. This guide will walk you through the entire process, providing clear, actionable steps and insightful tips. From understanding the requirements ⁢to ‍preparing for the state exam,we have you covered.

What is a‍ CNA?

A Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA) plays⁤ a⁤ vital role in the healthcare system. CNAs assist nurses and provide direct patient care, ensuring that patients receive the ‍support they need for ​daily‌ activities and medical tasks. They ⁤work in various⁢ settings, including hospitals, nursing homes, ⁤and private residences.

Benefits of ​Becoming a CNA in NJ

High Demand: The healthcare industry is continuously growing, and CNAs are always in demand.

Quick Entry: The ‌training ⁢program typically takes onyl a few ‌weeks to complete.

Flexible‌ schedules: Many CNAs work part-time or flexible hours,‌ making it ideal for ⁤students ‌or those seeking additional income.

Foundation for career​ Advancement: ‍ The CNA role is an excellent stepping stone for those ‍wishing to‍ pursue further nursing education.

Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Your‌ NJ CNA ​License

Step 1: Meet‌ the Eligibility Requirements

Before you begin‍ the process, ensure you meet the following eligibility criteria:

You must be ​at least 18⁣ years old.

Have a high school diploma⁣ or GED.

No criminal convictions that would ​disqualify you from working in ⁣healthcare.

Pass a medical examination, including a TB test.

Step‍ 2: Enroll in a State-Approved CNA⁤ Training Program

Your⁤ frist actionable⁢ step is enrolling in a state-approved ⁢CNA ⁣training program. These programs​ typically‌ last 4-12 weeks and include ⁣a mix ‌of classroom instruction and hands-on ‌clinical⁤ practice.

Here are some training options:

Community colleges

Vocational schools

Nursing homes

Online programs (with in-person clinical requirements)

Step 3: ‌Complete the Training Program

During your training, you will cover essential topics, such as:

Basic patient care

Infection control

Nutrition and‍ hydration

Basic anatomy and physiology

Step 4: Pass the NJ CNA Competency Exam

After completing your training program, you must pass the Competency Exam administered by⁤ the New Jersey⁣ Department ⁤of Health.The exam consists of two parts:

Written Test: This part assesses your knowledge of patient ⁤care and CNA responsibilities.

Practical Skills Test: ⁢You will demonstrate⁤ essential nursing skills in a simulated⁣ patient ​care setting.

Step 5: Apply for Your NJ CNA License

Once you pass both parts of the exam, you can apply for your NJ CNA⁢ license. You will need ​to provide:

Your exam results

Proof of completed training

A completed‍ application form

Payment ⁣of⁤ the application fee

Cost‌ Breakdown of Becoming a CNA in NJ

Item

Estimated Cost

training Program

$800 – $2,000

Exam Fees

$100 – $200

Background ⁢Check

$30 – $60

Application‌ Fee

$50 – ‌$100

Practical Tips for Aspiring CNAs

Practice Skills Regularly: Regular​ practice of practical skills is crucial for passing the exams.

Study Groups: Joining a study group​ can⁤ definitely help reinforce your knowledge ‍and boost confidence.

Stay Informed: Keep up with the⁣ latest ⁤healthcare protocols and⁣ standards.

First-Hand Experiences

Many CNAs describe their training ‌experiences as‍ challenging yet fulfilling. Jane, a recent graduate, ⁤said, “The clinical hours were tough but incredibly rewarding. ⁤Interacting with patients and providing care made me realize why I wanted ‍to become a CNA ⁢in the first place.”

Tom, who has been a CNA ⁤for ⁣five years, emphasizes the importance of ‌building ⁢strong relationships with patients. “It’s the little things—just talking ‍to someone and making them feel valued—that make all the ⁤difference in their day.”

Maintaining Your NJ ‌CNA License

Once you’ve⁢ obtained your ‍CNA license, you must renew it every two years. To maintain your certification, you ​need to:

Complete at least 48 hours⁣ of continuing ‌education​ during the renewal period.

Work a minimum of 8 hours in a nurse aide⁤ position.

Conclusion

Obtaining your NJ CNA license is a important step toward a rewarding career in‍ healthcare. By following this ​complete guide and adhering to the outlined steps, you will be well-prepared to⁣ embark on this fulfilling journey. Whether you’re just ‍starting or ⁣looking for a career change, becoming a CNA in‌ New Jersey opens doors to numerous ⁤opportunities in the healthcare field.

https://trainingcna.org/whatever-you-need-to-know-about-getting-your-nj-cna-license-a-step-by-step-guide/

[majestic-trilliums]

For the first time in 22 years…

I don’t know how many of us would quite understand this… But for the first time in 22 years, I can openly say I am not only proud but I am beyond grateful to be here in every moment I have.

At 15, 16, 17 I wouldn’t have even been able to envision who I’d be today, much less know the things I do. I have put so much work into myself and into my life the last four years, and pushed myself so much throughout my entire life, I didn’t know if I was gonna be here today. When I turned 15, I never thought of when I could be doing at 22 years old.

I can say, even my inner child is absolutely proud of everything I continue to work on everyday for her and me. The person I yearn to become, is watching as I learn from every experience put right in front of me, and picking me towards everything I desire. I know when I work hard, I will seek the results that follow soon after.

Did I have a different plan? Absolutely. But that obviously didn’t work out the way it was supposed to, because I wouldn’t be where I am today. And I wouldn’t be going towards the dreams I have..

Within the last 4 to 8 years, I have gained and lost friends. I’ve encountered people that brought joy and others who just took what they liked, and left when they didn’t. I not only learned so much about myself, but I learned a lot about people. Though they still do confuse me, and it doesn’t make a lot of sense of the “intentions” behind certain people.

For a long time, I have always had this spiritual connection with the universe, and the angels that guide my everyday life. The first time I encountered them I was like 12 years old. I was really depressed, I felt very alone. There was a lot of negligence, disrespect, and imbalances in my life at that time. But every time I was in the car, it got pretty foggy in the window. But an angel formed itself in the window. And every time I saw that angel, was truly the only reason that I kept going. For matter fact, I remember the feeling I had was excitement. It was that I felt seen for the first time. That I had a connection with something.

Since I was young, I always said “Everything happens for a reason.” or “believe.” And that singular word, or that sentence resonated with everything that I did. Without this connection that I gained, I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to see who I truly am, and who I am capable of being.

This whole “human experience” is so enlightening, and the more that I walk into places with a will to learn, the more my world opens up to amazing, breathtaking opportunities I never would’ve dreamed of.

The more I leave my mind open to obtaining a new skill or perspective, the more I will take away from the experience at hand. And on top of that be able to teach those around me, who are willing to learn or unlearn (cause we have to unlearn things that we were taught, to get out of that close minded perspective).

I am here to unlearn all the bad habits, close minded perspectives, and unwavering events that have gone on for generations. And I am beyond willing to take on this responsibility and create a more inclusive, supportive and sustainable lifestyle to this human life. By being my authentic self, and continuing to create space for those who are in need of it, even if it’s only temporary.

We’re getting to a point as a collective in this timeline, that there are certain things that should and should not be overlooked. Everybody in this nation, is working towards something. So why is it okay for somebody to come in and uproot somebody else else’s life? It’s not.. it’s time to stop being quiet about the things that are unacceptable. It’s time to stop being quiet about the generational curses that keep repeating themselves.. We are in a timeline shift, and if we do not take into account everything that is happening right now, we will not be able to get out of this curse once and for all. It’s going to take every single one of us. There are more of us, than there are of them.. when it comes down to it, hopefully the people will see it.

[hayleycna]

Your Essential Guide to Obtaining a CNA License in Illinois: Steps, Requirements, and Tips

Your Essential Guide⁣ to Obtaining a CNA License in Illinois

Are ⁤you interested in a career in healthcare? Becoming​ a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) in​ Illinois is ⁤an excellent step towards a rewarding profession. With the growing demand for healthcare professionals,this guide will break down the steps,requirements,and tips necessary ⁣to ⁤obtain your CNA license in Illinois.

What is a CNA?

A Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) plays a vital role in patient care under the supervision of registered nurses or licensed practical nurses. Responsibilities include basic patient care, performing daily⁣ living activities, and assisting with medical tasks. If you’re passionate about helping others, a⁤ career as a CNA might be just for you!

Steps to ​Obtain a CNA License in ​Illinois

1. Meet Basic Eligibility ⁢Requirements

Age: Must ⁤be at least 16 years old ⁣(15 with parental ⁢consent).

Education: High school diploma or GED.

Background Check: Must pass a criminal background check.

2. Complete a State-Approved CNA Training⁢ Program

Before you ⁣can take the CNA certification exam, you need to complete a training program that is approved by the Illinois Department of⁢ Public Health (IDPH). These programs⁤ usually include both classroom instruction and clinical training.

3. Pass the CNA Written and Skills Exams

Upon completion ‌of the‍ training ⁤program, you will need to⁢ pass both a written and a skills⁢ exam. Here’s what you should⁢ know:

Exam ⁤Type

Details

Written Exam

Multiple choice questions covering basic nursing concepts.

Skills Exam

Demonstration of essential nursing skills in a clinical setting.

4. apply for the ⁢CNA​ license

Once you pass both exams, it’s time to‌ submit ⁢your application for licensure through the IDPH. Be prepared to provide:

Proof⁤ of completion of CNA training

Exam results

Background check results

5. ‌Maintain Your CNA License

Your CNA license must be renewed‍ every two years, and you’ll⁢ need to complete at least ⁢48 hours⁣ of continuing education courses to keep your certification active.

Requirements for CNA License in Illinois

The requirements for ⁤obtaining a CNA license in Illinois are⁣ straightforward,but adhering to them⁢ is crucial. Here ⁣is a summarized list of the key requirements:

requirements

Description

Training ⁢Program

Completion of a state-approved program.

Examinations

Pass both written‍ and ⁤skills ⁣exams.

Application

Submit a ​completed application with fees.

Background Check

Must pass a criminal⁢ history check.

Benefits of⁣ becoming a CNA in Illinois

There are numerous advantages to pursuing a CNA license:

Job Opportunities: ⁤CNAs are in⁤ high demand in hospitals, nursing‌ homes,​ and ​home healthcare.

Career Advancement: It serves as a stepping stone to advanced nursing careers.

Short ⁣Training Duration: Typical programs last 4-12 ‍weeks,‌ allowing‍ for quick entry into the workforce.

Personal Fulfillment: ⁣The opportunity​ to make a difference ‍in patients’ lives.

Practical Tips ‍for ‍Success

To ensure a ‍smooth process in⁤ obtaining⁢ your CNA license, keep these tips in mind:

Choose the Right Training Program: Research various ⁤programs and read reviews to find one that fits your needs.

Study for Exams: use ⁢study guides and practice tests to prepare for the written exam.

Practice Skills: Regularly practice⁢ clinical skills with classmates to build ​confidence.

Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask⁢ instructors for clarification on topics⁢ you find challenging.

First-Hand Experience: A CNA’s Journey

meet Jessica, a ‍recent graduate of a​ CNA program in⁢ Chicago.Here’s a glimpse of her experience:

“I was nervous at first but found the ⁤training program to be‌ incredibly supportive. The hands-on⁤ practice was invaluable, ⁢and passing the exams felt‍ like a huge achievement! Being a CNA gives me the chance⁤ to ​help others, and I’ve met amazing patients along​ the ‌way.”

Conclusion

Obtaining a⁣ CNA license in Illinois is an ⁢achievable goal with​ the right planning and commitment. By‍ following⁣ the steps outlined in this guide and embracing the journey, you’ll be well on your way to starting a ⁢fulfilling career in healthcare. Whether it’s through hands-on patient ‍care or​ the chance to progress to licensed nursing programs,the opportunities for a CNA are vast and rewarding.

https://cnatrainingcertification.org/your-essential-guide-to-obtaining-a-cna-license-in-illinois-steps-requirements-and-tips/

[stephleb]

Open Your Career: The Ultimate Guide to Obtaining Your GA CNA License

Unlock Your Career: ​The Ultimate Guide‌ to Obtaining Your GA CNA ⁣License

Unlock Your⁤ Career: The Ultimate Guide to Obtaining ‍Your GA CNA License

If you’re looking‌ to launch‌ a fulfilling career in⁢ the healthcare field,obtaining your Georgia Certified Nursing Assistant ⁢(GA CNA) license​ can be your first step toward success.This comprehensive guide will walk you through the‍ essential ⁤steps, requirements, and practical tips⁢ to help you ‍unlock your career potential as‍ a CNA in Georgia.

What is a ⁤CNA?

A Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) is a vital member of the healthcare team, ‍responsible for‍ providing basic patient care under the supervision of a registered nurse (RN) ‍or licensed practical nurse (LPN). CNAs‌ play a crucial⁣ role in ​ensuring patient comfort,safety,and hygiene.

Benefits of‍ Being ‌a CNA

Job Stability: The demand for CNAs is⁢ consistently high, providing ​excellent job security.

Flexible Work hours: ​ CNAs often have the option to work part-time, full-time, or on a per ‌diem basis.

Career‍ advancement: Gaining experience as‍ a CNA opens doors to further ⁢healthcare education and⁣ specialized roles.

Personal Fulfillment: ⁣Many ⁣CNAs cite the joy of helping ⁣others as a critically important factor in their job satisfaction.

Steps ‌to Obtain Your GA CNA License

Step 1:⁢ Meet the Eligibility Requirements

To ‍qualify for the CNA training program in Georgia, you must meet ⁤the following requirements:

Be at least‌ 18 years old

Have a high school diploma‌ or⁤ GED

Pass⁣ a criminal background check

Step 2: Enroll in a⁢ State-approved CNA Training Program

You must complete a state-approved CNA training program that includes:

At least 85 hours of training, consisting of classroom​ instruction‍ and clinical practice

training on basic nursing skills, anatomy, nutrition, and patient rights

You can find ‍programs at local community colleges, vocational schools, and ‍healthcare facilities. Be sure to verify that the program is state-approved to ensure eligibility for licensure.

Step 3: Pass the CNA Competency Exam

After completing your training, you must pass the‍ Georgia CNA⁤ competency exam,‍ which‌ consists of two parts:

Written ⁣Test: 60 multiple-choice⁣ questions covering nursing skills, patient care, and fundamentals.

skills Presentation: You’ll need to perform a set of nursing skills in front ‍of a⁢ certified evaluator.

Step 4: Apply for Your CNA ‍License

Once you have passed the competency exam, the‍ next step is to apply for your CNA license ⁣through the Georgia Nurse⁣ Aide Registry. You will need to provide:

Your proof of training

Your exam results

A completed application form

Practical Tips for Success

Here are some practical⁣ tips to increase ​your chances of successfully obtaining your ⁣GA CNA license:

Study Thoroughly: Utilize study guides and online resources to prepare for the written exam.

Practice Skills: ⁤ Regularly practice ⁣the ⁤skills you’ll ​be demonstrating during ‌the exam.

Connect with Peers: Join online forums⁤ or local study⁤ groups to share insights and tips.

Real-Life Case Study: Success Story of‍ a GA ⁢CNA

jane, a 24-year-old from Atlanta, Georgia, shares her journey to⁢ becoming a CNA. originally working‌ in retail, she sought a career that was more fulfilling.

“I enrolled in ‍a​ local community college for a CNA program. The classes were intense, but the hands-on experience in ‍the clinical part of the training offered me ‌a ‌taste ⁢of what working in a healthcare habitat​ was ⁣like,” jane recalls. She emphasizes the importance of forming relationships with instructors who guided her through ​certification.After passing her exams, jane quickly landed a job ⁢at a nursing home, ⁢where she now thrives in her role.

Frequently ‍Asked Questions (FAQ)

Question

Answer

How‌ long does it take to‍ become a ‌CNA in ⁤georgia?

typically, completing a CNA training program takes 4-12 weeks.

What is the average salary for a CNA in ‌Georgia?

CNAs in ⁤Georgia earn an average salary ⁣of⁣ $26,000 – ⁣$32,000⁤ annually, depending on experience and⁤ location.

is previous ⁢healthcare experience required?

No, previous healthcare experience is not required ‌to enroll in a CNA ⁢program.

Conclusion

Obtaining ‍your GA‌ CNA license is an achievable and ​rewarding ⁣process that opens​ the door to a meaningful career in healthcare. ⁤By following ⁣the steps outlined in this guide—meeting eligibility requirements, enrolling in a ⁤state-approved⁣ program, passing the competency exam, and applying⁣ for your‌ license—you⁢ can position⁤ yourself for success in a field that needs compassionate and dedicated individuals.

As you embark on this journey, remember ​to utilize resources, seek support from peers, and remain dedicated to your goal. your CNA⁣ license is ⁣more than just a credential; it’s your ticket to making a positive difference in‌ the lives ‌of others.

https://cnatrainingcentral.com/open-your-career-the-ultimate-guide-to-obtaining-your-ga-cna-license/

[cnacertificationprogram]

Necessary Guide to CNA License Requirements: Step-by-Step Path to Becoming a Certified Nursing Assistant

Essential Guide⁣ to CNA ⁣License Requirements: Step-by-Step Path to Becoming‌ a‌ Certified⁢ Nursing Assistant

Becoming a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) offers a​ rewarding entry into​ the healthcare field. The role ‍is vital for patient care, providing support to nurses and assistance to patients in various⁣ settings. Navigating the requirements for a CNA license can be challenging, but this guide will simplify the process. Let’s explore everything you need to know⁤ to⁣ become a CNA—and boost your career in healthcare!

Understanding What a CNA Does

A CNA supports⁤ patients in daily activities and aids nurses in their duties. Key ‌responsibilities include:

Bathing and grooming patients

Assisting ⁣with mobility and transport

Taking vital signs

Feeding and ensuring comfort

Documenting patient information

Why Become a ‌CNA?

Choosing to become a Certified Nursing ⁤Assistant presents numerous benefits:

Job Security: The demand ⁣for nursing ‍assistants is continuously rising.

Career ⁣Advancement: Starting as a CNA can lead⁤ to various nursing or ⁣healthcare roles.

Personal Fulfillment: ‌Enjoy meaningful connections with patients and their families.

Flexible Hours: Opportunities for⁢ part-time and full-time positions.

CNA License‍ Requirements: A‍ Step-by-Step Guide

Step 1: ‌Understand the Prerequisites

Before you start your CNA journey, ensure you ⁣meet these⁤ basic ⁣prerequisites:

Must be at least 18 ⁤years old

High‍ school diploma or⁤ GED

Pass a background check

Meet health requirements (e.g., TB test)

Step 2: Complete a CNA Training Program

Enroll in a state-approved CNA training program, generally lasting between 4-12 weeks. Consider the following:

Programs can be found ‌at community colleges, technical schools, and healthcare facilities.

Ensure the program includes both classroom instruction and ‍clinical practice.

Costs typically range from‌ $800 to $2,000, depending on the ​program.

Step 3: Pass the CNA Certification Exam

To become a licensed CNA,⁣ you must pass both a written exam ‍and a skills evaluation. Here’s what to expect:

Exam Component

Description

Written Exam

Tests your ‌knowledge of nursing assistant procedures and patient care protocols.

Skills Evaluation

Hands-on assessment‍ demonstrating⁤ your ability to⁣ perform essential CNA tasks.

Step 4: Apply for ⁢State Certification

Once you pass ‌your exams, you can apply for your CNA ‍license ⁣through​ your state’s nursing board. Typically, you will need:

Proof of training completion

Exam results

Background ⁣check documentation

Step 5: Maintain Your Certification

CNA licenses typically require renewal every 2 years,⁢ which may include:

Completing ​continuing education hours

Submitting renewal⁢ fees

Proof of employment as a‌ CNA during the previous period

Practical Tips ‌for Success

Consider the following tips as you embark on your path to becoming a ‌CNA:

Stay⁢ Organized: Keep track of paperwork and deadlines required for certification.

Network: Connect with current CNAs and instructors for advice ​and mentorship.

Hands-On Practice: Utilize every opportunity to practice skills during ‌training.

Stay⁣ Updated: Follow ​healthcare news⁢ to keep informed of changes ⁢in regulations.

Case Studies: Real-Life CNA Experiences

Here‍ are two notable experiences from‌ CNAs⁢ reflecting on their careers:

Case Study 1: Emily, Hospital CNA

Emily shares, “I started my career as a‍ CNA in a busy hospital.⁣ The fast-paced environment ⁤taught me ⁣to think ⁣on my feet. Each⁣ day presents unique challenges, but the gratitude⁣ from patients makes it worth ⁤it. Through my experience, I decided to pursue my RN license!”

Case Study 2: Mark, Nursing Home CNA

Mark emphasizes, “Working in a nursing home allows me to build strong relationships with residents⁢ and ⁤their families.‌ It’s rewarding to see ​the difference I can make in their daily lives.” His experience inspired him to specialize in geriatric care.

Conclusion

Becoming a ‌Certified Nursing Assistant is a​ fulfilling ​path that opens doors to various opportunities in the healthcare field. By following the necessary steps, from meeting prerequisites to maintaining certification, you can‍ kickstart your career as a CNA. Remember, support from mentors and ongoing education are key components of success in this rewarding profession.

Whether you want to make a ⁤difference in someone’s life or⁤ pursue further nursing education, the journey to becoming a CNA is an enriching choice. Start your path today!

https://cnacertificationprogram.net/necessary-guide-to-cna-license-requirements-step-by-step-path-to-becoming-a-certified-nursing-assistant/

[teleiosresearch]

Tithing: What does the Bible say?

Welcome to my blog! Today, we discuss tithing which indeed can be a difficult issue. 

The term “tithe” originates from the Old English word “teogotha,” which means “tenth.” In biblical terms, tithing refers to the practice of giving 10% of one’s income or resources to support the work of the church or the religious community. This concept was introduced in the Old Testament law and refers to 10% of gains in crops and herds given to the use of God (Numbers 18:24-28, Leviticus 27:30-32 and restated in Deuteronomy 12:6-12, 14:22-28). One prior mention of tithing stretches back to Genesis 14 in Abraham’s tithe to King Melchizedek after his victory over the Mesopotamians. This action signified Abraham’s submission to Melchizedek (a type of Christ).

Tithing is not mentioned in the New Testament epistles for the church. Importantly, Christ said He is the end of the Old Testament law (Romans 10:4). Therefore, the law is discontinued and does not govern the church; Christians do not have to follow it (Hebrews 7:12-22).

The New Testament does state in 2 Corinthians 9:7, however, that each individual should choose to give to God’s work, without sorrow, because God loves those who give joyfully! The Apostle Paul in Philippians 3:8 provides us an example when he states that he counts all things loss for Christ. Further, our whole lives are a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is our reasonable service (Romans 12:1). Importantly, everything we do as Christians is done by faith, including the extent and manner of how we give (Romans 14:23).

In contrast, some who adhere to Reformed Theology believe the church was mysteriously present in the Old Testament and so we must obey the law, including tithing. However, no Christian attempts to obey all the law, so this application is selective and inconsistent. If the church was present in the Old Testament, it is not mentioned specifically. Therefore, the church if present in the Old Testament would be there in a spiritual sense, and not as an organized, functioning structure.

In summary, tithing is based in the Old Testament law which New Testament believers are not required to obey because they follow Christ. In contrast, we have the opportunity to serve Christ with all our mental and physical possessions, in faith, as guided by the New Testament and prayer (1 Timothy 4:4-5). While the New Testament doesn’t explicitly command tithing in the same way as the Old Testament, it emphasizes principles of generosity, stewardship, and cheerful giving. 

Teleios Research – Tithing attitudes among adolescents and millennials

To investigate young believers’ beliefs’ over tithing we recently surveyed visitors to the Instagram account, DailyBibleVerses. See full results here https://teleiosresearch.com/young-believers-tithing/. In total, 548 persons completed the survey of whom 80% were female, 82% evangelical, and 85% were <40 years of age and 40% <18. How the participants tithed is described in Table 1 (top 3 responses).

Further, 82% said that missions or parachurch organizations could receive part of their tithe while 60% indicated material possessions donated or time spent serving could be part of their tithe. Table 2 addresses the participant’s biblical basis of their tithing (top 3 responses).

Further answers are in Tables 3-4 (top 3 responses).

Table 4: What percent of your possessions belong to God?

In summary, as Christians born again by faith in Christ’s forgiveness and His resurrection from the dead, we live by the scriptural commands in the New Testament apostolic letters. These enable us to become a joyful giver, produce fruit, and be committed to God’s work. Faith and the Holy Spirit allow us to give 100% of our lives, and not just 10%.

Thank you for reading my blog and join me again next time as we continue discussing the Christian life.

William C. Stewart, MD

Email - info@teleiosresearch.com

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Disclaimer - This blog and its content are provided only as information and are intended for visitors 18 and older. No content on the website should be taken as advice or recommendation to any personal or institutional situation. The views expressed are those of the author alone and not necessarily either shared or endorsed by Teleios. Both the blog and the contents are subject to change at any time without notice. Although I endeavor to ensure that the blog and the content are current and accurate, it may contain errors. I do not represent that the blog or the content is current, accurate or complete, or appropriate for your specific requirements. I do not accept any liability from any person for the blog, the content or any other information (or the use of such information) I provide. I do not have a seminary degree, but I have trained myself in the scriptures to teach and provide this information. For any specific question, I suggest you contact experts in that field and or do your own research into the scriptures.

[xtruss]

How One Black Doctor Brought the Pap to the People! Helen Dickens Was a Crusader Whose Cancer Van Saved Hundreds of Lives

— March 7, 2024 | Kirstin Butler

A Collage Featuring Dr. Helen Octavia Dickens, Hospital Beds, a Microscope, Cancer Cells, and a Van with the Words "American Cancer Society" on the side. Art by Colin Mahoney. Source images from the National Library of Medicine, National Museum of Health and Medicine, Wikimedia.

In 1926, 17-year-old Helen Dickens would sit in the front row of her pre med courses at Crane Junior College in Chicago. Dickens was a dedicated student, but her seating choice in a majority-white academic environment was strategic. “If other students wanted a good seat they had to sit beside me,” she recalled in an interview years later. “This way I didn’t have to look at them or the gestures made that were directed against me.” Dickens went on to become the one Black woman in her graduating class at the University of Illinois College of Medicine, where she met further bigotry with quiet determination. “Her frame of mind was, ‘I'll work through it,’” her daughter Jayne Henderson Brown, also a doctor, told American Experience. “Which she did. It didn't stop her.”

As Dr. Dickens was wrapping up her two-year obstetrics residency, she encountered the next hurdle to her childhood dream of practicing medicine: As a Black woman, white hospitals that employed female doctors didn’t want her, and hospitals serving the Black community hired only men. She was unsure where to go next until, one day, she read a notice on a bulletin board that changed the course of her professional life. It was a letter from Dr. Virginia Alexander, another young Black female doctor, looking for women to join her practice. Alexander ran the Aspiranto Health Home as an alternative birthing center out of her three-story row house in Philadelphia, using her living room as the waiting room and her dining room for treatment. Expectant mothers—some of whom were Black and impoverished, and without other access to care—came to Alexander’s home and received unusually long postpartum care and access to birth control.

Aspiranto was “community service in private practice,” Alexander wrote to Dickens, a “socialized practice of medicine.” Dickens went to Philly, and one year after her arrival took over the home altogether at age 27. The principles behind Aspiranto would guide the way she practiced medicine for the rest of her career. “Alexander helped Dickens to formulate a consciousness around how healthcare could be used as a site of activism,” said Dr. Amina Shakir, who wrote her dissertation about Dickens.

In many ways, Dickens’s background had already primed her to be community-conscious. Her father, Charles, had been born into slavery before escaping and teaching himself to read; he passed when Helen was only eight. “I know when he died,” Dickens later told an interviewer, “he had mortgaged our house to help build a Black meeting hall.” Her father’s death resulted from an infection after a tooth extraction—antibiotics didn’t yet exist—and yet when Dickens was 12, she talked to the family dentist about the possibility of going into medicine. Her father had wanted her to be a nurse, “[b]ut somewhere along the way,” she said, “I decided that if I was going to be a nurse, I might as well become a doctor.”

Dr. Helen Octavia Dickens at her desk. Image courtesy Jayne Henderson Brown.

Over the next seven years of her directorship of Aspiranto, she got the community interaction that she’d always wanted. “It was very exciting,” Dickens remembered of her time leading the birthing center. “You were going into the homes. You were seeing all these people. You were taking responsibility for care of people.” And as one of the first Black female doctors in the city, Dickens saw firsthand the inequity of the healthcare system and the extent to which medicine often marginalized Black women. She dedicated the rest of her life to bringing the best and newest models of care to her own community.

That dedication, during the next chapter of her career, involved getting as many Black women as possible to take a brand new medical test: the pap smear. The test’s namesake was Dr. George Papanicolaou, a Greek immigrant physician who with his wife and lab technician Mary worked for decades to document its efficacy in detecting cervical cancer, then the highest-killing cancer for women. Before the pap smear, cervical cancer was detected by biopsy, which often meant it was too late to treat the disease. “By the time you have symptoms, there's already a mass,” Dr. Henderson Brown explains. “It's already metastasized—liver, lung—and it kills. So the earlier it is detected, the easier it is to prevent the spread.” Dickens, who by the early 1950s had become the first African American board-certified OB/GYN in Philadelphia, proselytized the pap smear’s potential to save her patients’ lives.

Dr. George Papanicolaou Pioneered the Lifesaving Cervical Cancer Screening that now Bears his Name.

First, though, she had to get beyond their historically well-earned distrust of gynecological treatment. The legacy of experimentation and forced sterilization of Black women made them wary of receiving care. “A lot of women are reluctant to get medical checkups that include pelvic exams,” she told the Philadelphia Evening Bulletin—which meant Dickens had to bring the test to them. She did so through clinics and workshops at Black churches; in later years, Dickens even provided free pap tests out of a mobile unit, parking an American Cancer Society van in church parking lots. Dickens also got the National Institutes of Health to fund a program to train other doctors to perform pap tests. “But she doesn't just stop there,” Shakir adds. “She also uses her work to provide statistics on Black women patients for the first time…She's really a forerunner. We take this for granted today because of the ways in which we use patient data.”

Dickens continued her crusade of improving Black women’s medical access in a variety of ways. After joining the faculty of the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Medicine in 1965, she pioneered a program for pregnant teens. And as the university’s dean for minority affairs, Dickens recruited other potential doctors from underserved communities, as she herself had once been.

All of this work she did matter-of-factly. It was, says Dr. Shakir, “her unrelenting way of making sure that the dignity and humanity of Black women was respected.” Or as her daughter notes, “I meet people all the time who say, ‘your mother delivered me’ or, ‘we really loved your mother.’ So I think her legacy is the gift she gave of healthcare to every woman who came within 10 feet of her.”

[purujit]

Sanjay Mishra | “My HbA1c came down from 12% to 7%, Conquering Diabetes: My Journey with BeatO Diabetes Care.

Hi, I'm Sanjay Mishra, a 63-year-old retiree from Faridabad. My life revolves around family, friends, and making the most of my post-retirement years. Little did I know that a urinary infection back in 2011 would set me on a path to a life-changing diagnosis: Type 2 diabetes. Looking back, I can vividly recall the moment I received the news - "Maine apne urine infection ka test karwaya toh meri fasting 300 aur meri post meal reading 500 aayi." It was a shock, and I had no idea what lay ahead.

Early Diagnosis and Treatment:

The initial days after my diagnosis were filled with confusion and anxiety. I found myself in a state of panic, grappling with questions about what to eat, how to manage this chronic condition, and what the future held. I experimented with various treatments, but my blood sugar levels remained alarmingly high. My fasting readings consistently hovered around 250 mg/dL, and my health deteriorated. I faced joint aches, vision problems, and even foot issues.

Desperate for a solution, I began searching for alternative ways to tackle my diabetes. That's when I stumbled upon BeatO through a Facebook Ad. It piqued my interest, and I decided to enroll in their 6-month BeatO Diabetes Care Program in June 2022.

My Journey With BeatO Diabetes Care Program:

From the very beginning, BeatO introduced substantial changes to my diet and meal timing. My health coach, Manscheel, suggested swapping whole wheat and rice for besan and jowar. She encouraged the inclusion of Karela Juice and Jamun Juice in my diet. Additionally, she emphasized the importance of achieving 10,000 daily steps to effectively manage my blood sugar levels.

Dr. Bheem, another key member of the BeatO team, provided invaluable medical advice. He carefully assessed my condition and recommended the appropriate medications. His patient responses to all my diabetes-related queries made me feel at ease and well-supported.

My Remarkable Improvements:

Gradually, I began to witness a positive shift in my health. The dizziness and joint pains that plagued me earlier started to subside. My sugar levels were getting back on track. The results spoke for themselves:

HbA1c: Dropped from a staggering 12% to a much-improved 7%.

Fasting Reading: Reduced from a concerning 300 mg/dL to a more manageable 120 mg/dL.

Post-Meal Reading: Went from a worrisome 550 mg/dL to a healthier 137 mg/dL.

What made the real difference in my diabetes management journey was the unwavering support I received from BeatO. If you're looking to take control of your diabetes, I highly recommend giving BeatO a try. They've been my partners in this journey, and I can't emphasize enough how much they've meant to me.

The key to my transformation has been dietary discipline, guided by my dedicated health coach. Her daily feedback and encouragement have helped me stay consistent in my diabetes care routine. Today, I can confidently say that I'm a healthier, fitter version of myself, all thanks to the BeatO Diabetes Care Program. For me, BeatO is not just an app; it's a real support system, a lifeline in my journey to conquer diabetes.

[moonianbbyg]

Your ultimate Jan astrology guide

2022 a new year for astrologers. In this post I’m guiding you guys through all of the astrological events that’ll be happening through the new year in January. You’ll find out which rising signs are blessed with money, which ones are lucky in love and etc. Enjoy reading lovelies 🤍

Astrological events that started in 2021 that will stay for a period of time in 2022:

Venus is in rx in the sign of Capricorn and Jupiter has entered Pisces on 12/28/21

→ Read about how Jupiter in Pisces will affect me based on my rising sign

Rising signs most affected by these transits are: Capricorn, Cancer, Pisces and Virgo rising

2022 is the best for:

Cardinal placements (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) + 2 fixed placements Leo and Scorpio

Glow up in January:

Taurus, Pisces and Capricorn placements

Could find love in January:

Cancer, Virgo and Scorpio placements

Mercury in Aquarius Jan 2

Mercury will be in the sign of Aquarius until Jan 25th and then it will go rx in the sign of Capricorn. While this Mercury in rx transit is happening we will have it be conjunct Venus in Capricorn rx sextile the Jupiter in Pisces transit.

When Mercury is conjunct Venus this can lead to overthinking a lot + especially because both planets will be in rx. It is important to build trust during this period and work on your maturity! Signs most affected by this will be Capricorn, Cancer, Virgo and Aquarius risings.

Capricorn rising - This is happening in your 1st house, the house of yourself and your life path. You will be rethinking many things that have happened to you in the past. Expect compliments to flow to you easily though! Work on self love.

Cancer rising - These transits are happening in your 7th house of partnership and business. You can expect to be blessed with abundance but make sure you don’t spend recklessly. Rethink your decisions that you’ve made in 2021 when it came to reconciling with old friends or partners. If you got a new partner work on yourself in the relationship and try being less impatient and more responsible

Virgo rising - Everything is happening in your 5th house. You may feel stressed out or upset even sometimes randomly but that’s because you might overthink about your past especially your child hood. Focus on healing your inner child and heal from traumas. Let people prove their love for you and make sure you improve your social skills. Try to let go of the past and give new chances out, 2022 will treat you well only if you let all of your new opportunities get to you!

Aquarius rising - Not trying to call this a bad period for you since in astrology there is no thing such as ‘bad’ but these transits will definitely be intimidating for you. As mentioned in the Jupiter in Pisces post in 2022 you’ll be blessed with many new things you’ve always wished for but be prepared for a huge life change, a whole new cycle. Work on letting go of the past since all of this is happening in your 12th house. Don’t let anyone hold you back from reaching your life purpose

When Mercury/Venus is sextile Jupiter that’s a wonderful aspect! You know your self worth and confidence rises up. Though two planets are in rx keep in mind to stay positive and do NOT let yourself get lost in your post, moving forward only!

Signs that are promised good results and some even a glow up: Pisces, Capricorn and Gemini rising

Moon in Capricorn Jan 2

This New Moon is a perfect time to manifest! It is sextile Jupiter (the planet of luck), so be careful what you wish for or think about often because it will manifest very easily!

Signs most affected by the New Moon in Capricorn: Capricorn and Aquarius

Capricorn rising - The New Moon is transiting your 1st house which could make you feel a bit emotional or upset about random things, but use positive affirmations because it is a great time for you to manifest your desires! Improve your skin care routine if you’d like, Jupiter is blessing you enough since it’s working great together with the Moon ✨

Aquarius rising - This transit is happening in your 12th house. I advice you to really rethink all of your past decisions and try to find ways on how to push your life situation closer to your desired one. The 12th house represents spirituality just like Jupiter. This is a great time for you to manifest, make sure you stay thinking positive because just as easily your thoughts will manifest so will the bad negative ones, so make sure you don’t let anything bad bother you and your energy

Signs that can manifest the best with this transit: Scorpio, Taurus and Aquarius rising

Jupiter square NN Jan 3

Jupiter in Pisces will be square the North Node in Gemini. When Jupiter is square North node you may feel very unlucky ur stuck in a place you try to escape with all of your power. This won’t be as bad as it sounds like though because certain rising signs will have a great opportunity to manifest whatever they wish for and others will be gifted with a new lesson that won’t hurt them but will teach them something.

Signs most affected by this aspect: Gemini, Sagittarius, Leo and Cancer risings

Gemini rising - This aspect is happening in your 1st house - the house of your life path and purpose. You may go through certain things and learn a new lesson even but everything happens for a reason. Try not to think that you are unlucky, just remember that these two planets squaring each other want to put you on the right track by “opening your eyes” and you should try to accept this. Whatever gets thrown your way believe in yourself because you know that you are strong, if you choose to positively handle any situation you’ll experience soon you will be gifted with great things after April 💫

Sagittarius rising - Many of you will encounter a person you’ll feel like is ‘the one’ but make sure you handle this relationship maturely. If you’re interested into men, you may even meet your husband this year but make sure you can discipline yourself good enough because that person you’ll get in a relationship with may be a karmic connection you’ll experience because they will give you a big personality change and self realization.

Leo rising - This is happening in your 11th house of wishes and hopes. Rethink about all the past decisions you’ve made in 2021 and realize what you actually want or who you want in your life (try choosing someone you know serves you for the better). Don’t overthink certain bad things though because you may manifest them to happen, and they will manifest very easily. Choose to stay optimistic during this period and work on yourself, not on self love but on your life. Spoil yourself with the good things in life!

Cancer rising - Aspect is happening in your 12th house of spirituality. As much as 2021 was rough for you do not use this period to overthink what you want because you may accidentally manifest karmic people and events coming into your life. Some of past partners/friends may even return during this period but work on your wishes and desires, do not let toxicity approach you in any way possible! You’re the main character in your mind during this period only.

Signs that have luck in manifesting during this transit: Cancer, Aries and Libra

New lessons for: Gemini, Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio, Libra and Cancer

First quarter Moon in Aries Jan 9

Moon enters the sign of Aries. It will be square Venus that is rx in the sign of Capricorn. Moon square Venus usually indicates relationship problems, feeling like you have a hard time committing, hard time focusing on things as well.

Signs most affected by this transit are: Aries and Libra

Aries rising - During this period you may feel emotional or stressed but you’ll be wondering why. Take this time to work on self love and don’t jump into new relationships or friendships because something malefic could possibly happen to you! Watch out who you choose to surround yourself with

Libra rising - This transit will be happening in your 7th house. You might randomly feel like you’re missing certain people or that people don’t appreciate you enough. You might even get emotional if you start to think about your past (especially the times where you got betrayed by those around you) but take this time to work on your recognition abilities and try having stronger and better morals. Don’t give up, you know you have good strength!

Luckiest signs for this transit: Pisces, Virgo, Gemini and Cancer risings

Ceres goes direct in Taurus Jan 14

We will have the asteroid Ceres (93) inn the sign of Taurus. It is trine Venus in Capricorn and sextile Pisces Jupiter. Ceres is the asteroid of self care and closer relationship, even motherly ones. When Ceres is trine Venus it is a good period for working on your glow up! Relationships/connections will get better but since it is in rx be aware of who you are letting to stay in your life. Ceres sextile Jupiter is also a very great aspect because manifesting your features to look differently on you is guaranteed. Certain people may even improve their knowledge and get blessed with lots of affection and appreciation!

Signs most affected by this: Taurus, Aries, Scorpio, Libra and Leo

Taurus rising - If you’ve been waiting for a glow up this is a perfect time for you! You will recognize that your self love has improved and you will just adore your face a lot. Be ready for a few compliments as well because you will SHINE

Aries rising - This transit is happening in your 2nd house - the house of self care. This will be a very nice period for you because you will just be blessed in so many ways! Abundantly blessed, nice words being said about you, positive attention and etc. Jupiter and Ceres are working great together especially on blessing you … ✨

Scorpio rising - Ceres will be transiting your 7th house. Be ready for how much pampered you will be! People will just naturally have the urge to love on you and show you how much they care. Take this time to enjoy yourself and your daily life, everything is getting way better for you

Libra rising - Literally don’t be surprised when this transit happens in your 8th house, see these blessings coming! People will have a huge urge to compliment you, show you love and support in whatever you’re doing and spoil you. Very luck period for you. Expect certain individuals to even develop an obsession for you or get extremely attached to you as well!

Leo rising - This transit will be happening in your 10th house of public image and reputation. During this transit you will realize that your maturity has changed and got even better and you will get gifted for improving yourself inside and out. Enjoy this period because you will receive a lot of good attention and lots of love from those around you 💫

Signs that will improve their self love and be extremely lucky: Taurus, Pisces, Virgo and Cancer risings

Full Moon in Cancer Jan 17

Full Moon in Cancer. When we have a Full Moon it is time to let go and release, since it is in the sign of Cancer many of us may find it hard to let go of certain people and things but it is for the best. I ADVICE YOU TO NOT MANIFEST ON THIS FULL MOON! On New Moons we don’t manifest, we let go and give the universe time to deliver what we’ve asked for, so use the other dates that were mentioned in this post to manifest based on your rising sign - before this Full Moon in Cancer happens. It is trine Jupiter in Pisces so good results are promised if you choose to follow the rules.

Signs most affected by this: Cancer, Pisces and Leo risings

Cancer rising - This Full Moon is happening in your first house of self. As much as you’re trying to get things to go your way please take this period of time as an opportunity to work on yourself and on improving your self love, since you may feel emotional during this transit. Let go of whatever is holding you back from reaching your destined potential, it is time to grow into a better version of yourself this year! ✨ Jupiter guarantees you good results if you choose to overcome this Full Moon in Cancer phase the right way.

Pisces rising - This transit will be happening in your 5th house, the house of fortune. Focus on what you wanted and on releasing it because the Moon is working very well together with Jupiter!! Don’t manifest because you will try to hold yourself back from stepping into the future (and the present). Be confident in your choices and yourself

Leo rising - The Full Moon in Cancer is happening in your 12th house, the house of spirituality - and the past. As hard as it may seem to let go of your comfort zone … it is time. For your best try to forget the past and work on yourself and your choices. Don’t overthink too much during this transit because holding yourself back is a huge mistake. Jupiter is the original ruler of the 12th house so if you do everything as you’re supposed to during this period that you’ll experience be prepared for big blessings after the Moon leaves the sign of Cancer

Signs that will be positively affected by this the most are: Taurus, Sagittarius, Scorpio and Virgo risings

Uranus goes direct in Taurus Jan 18

Uranus, the planet of change is now in the fixed element in the sign of Taurus. Another transit that is making an aspect (sextile) to the Jupiter in Pisces transit. When Uranus is sextile Jupiter it’s a wonderful aspect between these two planets since you will have no problems accepting certain truths and you’ll actually look forward to moving on from people and events that have took place in the past

Signs most affected by this: Taurus, Libra, Cancer and Gemini risings

Taurus rising - Very lucky period for you! With this transit that will be happening in your 1st house (which represents your life purpose & path) look forward to seeing good results in your daily life! You will get random outbursts of happiness and luck, you will feel the luck in your spirit.

Libra rising - Finally healing from everything that has hurt you in 2021 or even before. When this transit happens in your 8th house you will feel very free and nice. Everything will seem perfect to you about your life! Enjoy this transit because you deserve a huge break from last year. Jupiter’s gift to you ✨ (you should expect some random coming your way too!

Cancer rising - This transit is happening in your 11th house - the house of hopes and wishes! You’re reaching your life purpose even more during this period of time and you may even see some manifestations coming through. You’ll just feel the luck within your body and mind

Gemini rising - The big gift you’ll receive from Jupiter when this transit happens. After working on yourself for this long period of time you will finally receive what you’ve desired to get! Since the 12th house represents the past and spirituality you’ll finally feel like everything is changing for the better and life will feel like it has no worries *hint: you may have very vivid dreams and those may even be some of the events that you will experience in real life*

Signs that may have issues accepting their reality when this transit happens: Virgo, Aries and Leo risings

NN is in Taurus Jan 18

On January 18th 2022, North Node will be in the sign of Taurus + in rx. Since we already have Venus in rx in the sign of Capricorn the NN is trine it. When a planet is in rx it is taking a step back to see if it has something unfinished that needs to get done. The trine aspect is a harmonious aspect, so this aspect that will take place will teach you a lot about your past and how you should move forward and work on your current reality and the future!

Signs most affected by this: Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio and Virgo risings

Taurus rising - This transit is happening in your 1st house. Make sure you improve your self love and communication skills! Think about your whole life and the people from the past and present, tell yourself who serves your life purpose and who doesn’t. Socialize and find people who truly make you happy!

Capricorn rising - North Node in Taurus will be transiting your 5th house - the house of your inner child and fortune. Spend some time with yourself, mediate, do yoga or whatever calms down your mind. Once you feel like you’re at peace with yourself go out and socialize with as many people as you can, it is time for big changes and new chances 💫

Scorpio rising - This transit is going to affect you the most since it will be happening in your 7th house of companionships and ‘open’ secrets. You may have the urge to reconnect with some people from the past or visit the old places you used to visit before but that’s okay, it is your fortune to see what you have left behind. You will learn if it was the right choice or not. Don’t be afraid to make new moves in your life since this is perfect chance for you! ✨

Virgo rising - The transit is happening in your 9th house, the house of wisdom and fortune. Take some time analyzing your previous/past choices and think about some people who you know were good for you and even the ones who weren’t the best mates for your life purpose and path. Explore love and purity! This year you’re promised a lot of luck & love - even abundance, take this transit’s opportunity to gain more recognition by others as well

The luckiest signs for this transit are: Cancer, Pisces and Aries risings

Sun is in Aquarius Jan 19

The Sun will enter the sign of Aquarius! It will be at 0° degrees and when a planet is at the zero degree it means you are experiencing the full experience of this placement. This fixed energy provides luxury to all of the rising signs and lot of happiness, also is blessing certain ones with good manifestation opportunities!

Luckiest signs for this transit: Aquarius, Libra, Gemini and Aries risings

Best manifestation opportunities for: Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries and Pisces risings

Abundance for: Capricorn and Cancer risings

Mars is in Capricorn Jan 24

Amazing period for many of the rising signs! Mars will enter the sign of Capricorn as it will be sextile Jupiter in Pisces. When Mars is sextile Jupiter you are sexually blessed to the fullest and abundantly.

Signs that will be sexually blessed: Sagittarius, Cancer and Virgo risings ✨

Signs that will be abundantly blessed: Sagittarius and Gemini risings

Last quarter Moon in Scorpio Jan 25

Last quarter Moon in the sign of Scorpio. This Moon in Scorpio will be trine Jupiter in Pisces and sextile Venus in Capricorn rx. This means that it is a very good period to manifest but try not to focus on manifesting past partner to enter your life again or friends. The things you should try manifesting is money and your desires coming true (for example your desired life!)

Signs most affected by this: Scorpio and Virgo risings

Scorpio rising - This transit will be happening in your 1st house. It is a great time for you to focus on what you really want and desire, make sure to have faith in your power and abilities. During this transit you could feel a bit emotional about certain things but try not to overthink the past because you could manifest bad results.

Virgo rising - The last quarter Moon in Scorpio will be happening in your 3rd house. Be aware that it may come to overthinking about some situations or your past choices that you’ve made. But it is okay to let your mind rest too, because Jupiter is trying to work with the Moon in your favor 💫 don’t let your heavier emotions take over you.

Signs that will receive amazing results if they choose to manifest during this transit: Pisces, Cancer and Sagittarius risings

Mercury in Capricorn Jan 25

Time to take some responsibility. Mercury will be in rx in the sign of Capricorn. As cardinal placements are promised an amazing 2022 and Capricorn is a cardinal sign these signs may overcome the Mercury in rx period easier (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn risings) whereas the other ones should try working on their maturity and achieving their goals!

Signs that need to work on themselves during this transit the most: Capricorn, Scorpio, Taurus and Pisces risings

happy new year guys!

i just want to thanks all of you for all of the love and support you show me on the daily, i am beyond grateful for each one of you and i love you all so much! i’ve started my blog in november 2021 and i am currently at 2.5 thousand followers, i can’t even put into words how much i appreciate you all, you really make me the happiest. i’ve seen certain of you show me love every day and stay active, since the beginning of my blog or ever since you’ve followed me, you guys know who you are and i want to thank you the most! i wish you all a happy new year and i hope it goes well for all of you, i wish you all the best my loves and i hope that we stay together in 2022 and get to know each other better, more content definitely coming through this year 🤍🥺

[hysterialevi]

Hjarta | Chapter 12

Fanfic summary: In an AU where Eivor was adopted by Randvi’s family instead, he ends up falling in love with the man his sister has been promised to despite the arranged marriage between their clans.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male Eivor

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

BJORNHEIMR

THE WAR ROOM

“We must go now!” Arngeir insisted, planting a firm hand on the table in front of him. “Kjotve has Thora in his grasp. We cannot waste a single second while she remains bound by his chains.”

Ulfar and Styrbjorn exchanged sharp glances with each other upon hearing the jarl’s words, hesitant to go on with his plan. Both of them were standing at the war table’s sides, and pondering quietly to themselves about what to do next.

“I must admit, old friend,” Ulfar spoke up, his voice weighed down by stress, “uncertainty holds me back.”

Arngeir’s piercing gaze shifted to the raider. “We are talking about my daughter, Ulfar. I will not allow Kjotve to enslave her like a dog. If we arrive a moment too late, she will either be dead or missing. We must go now. While we still have the chance.”

“We can’t.” The other man reiterated. “...Look, Thora is like a daughter to me as well. I don’t wish to see any harm come to her, but I must also think about the rest of our clan.”

Ulfar gestured loosely to their surroundings. “Our warriors are wounded. Exhausted. A portion of them are even dead. If we go after Kjotve now, it will be a death sentence. We’ll only lose more lives, and most-likely, Thora will be killed anyways. We need to recover.”

Arngeir shook his head. “We don’t have time to recover. Once Kjotve’s ships touch the shore, he will be behind the stone walls of a fortress and surrounded by a horde of guards. Our only chance is to attack him at sea where he won’t be able to call for reinforcements.”

“Attack him with what army? The alliance has been formed, but half of Styrbjorn’s clan remains in Fornburg. And there’s no way we’ll be able to let them know of what has happened before Kjotve can return to his fortress. Our hands are tied.”

Styrbjorn offered his own suggestion. “...Our warriors could use some rest, that is true. But do not forget, Kjotve’s men are not without needs either. And after everything that happened today, I doubt they’d be expecting us to retaliate so soon. If we launch an assault now, whilst they are still worn out from the battle, perhaps we can catch them by surprise. It’s a risky tactic, but it might just give us the advantage we need to get Thora back safely.”

Ulfar considered the plan. “Perhaps... but what about--”

Cutting him off mid-sentence, a soft thud emitted from the war room’s door as a fourth man joined their conversation, bringing their discussions to a halt.

Strolling into the grim atmosphere of their meeting, Sigurd came pacing through the archway as his gaze loosely traveled from man-to-man, hastily taking in the view before him. His brow hung low with a heavy sense of sorrow, and the light in his eyes seemed to have faded -- as if his mind were wandering elsewhere.

“Ah,” Styrbjorn said upon the man’s arrival, “my son. You decided to come.”

It didn’t take long for Ulfar to notice that the prince was alone. “Eivor’s not with you?”

Sigurd walked up to the table, firmly closing the door behind him with a swift wave of the hand. “No, he’s still in the training yard. He wished to be alone for the moment.”

The raider’s face sank with concern. “I see. And how is he?”

Sigurd let out a sigh. “I won’t lie to you, Ulfar. He’s not taking it well. He was in a rather foul mood when I left him, and I imagine he’ll be that way for the rest of the day.”

“Of course. Kjotve and Eivor have a bloody history together. It’s to be expected. Give the boy time. He’ll be up on his feet soon enough.”

“I hope so,” the prince said, “but what about the plan? Do we have any idea how we’ll get Thora back?”

Arngeir summarized their discussion for him. “A few, but none that we agree on. I’d like to attack Kjotve as soon as possible. Corner him at sea before he can reach the security of his fortress. Ulfar, on the other hand, thinks we should rest for today. He wants to give our warriors time to recover.”

Sigurd turned to Styrbjorn. “And you, father?”

“As I was explaining before,” the king replied, “it’s possible we may be able to catch Kjotve off-guard if we go after him now. His warriors are just as weary as ours, and I doubt Kjotve will be expecting such an immediate response. It is a dangerous method, but there is little else I can think of when half our clan is still obliviously awaiting our return in Fornburg.”

Ulfar offered Sigurd a chance to speak. “Do you have any ideas on what we should do?”

The prince stroked his beard in thought. “...Hmm. Let me think. How fast can we send word to Fornburg?”

“If we send someone now, the soonest they can arrive will be at nightfall. And Kjotve will already be well out of our reach by then.”

Sigurd rested his palms on the war table, staring blankly at the map. “Well then, an immediate retaliation would only get us killed. If there’s any chance we can get Thora back, we must do it with the strength of both our clans.”

Ulfar nodded firmly at the sentiment. “Agreed.”

“Let’s just hope Kjotve doesn’t decide to sell Thora off to someone before we can reach her. Then, she’ll truly be lost.”

Arngeir tilted his head. “And what do you think we should do once our clans have gathered, Sigurd?”

The prince considered their options. “...We can’t launch an assault on Kjotve’s fortress. He has an entire settlement of people standing between him and the sea. If we start a raid, he’ll see us coming long before we can breach the walls. He’ll either hold Thora as a hostage, or kill her entirely.”

The jarl appeared to be at a loss. “So, what can we do then?”

Sigurd was admittedly hesitant to share his thoughts. “We could try attacking him during the night when we can hide under the darkness, or...”

Ulfar found himself intrigued. “Or what?”

“...Or we could use the settlement to our advantage.”

The raider didn’t quite follow him. “What? How do you mean?”

“The area outside of Kjotve’s fortress is teeming with people. I doubt anyone would notice if there were a few more villagers strolling about. We could send some scouts to walk among them while we bring our warriors to their shores boat by boat. That way, we avoid drawing attention with our longship.”

“And then what?”

“Our scouts pave the way. They infiltrate the fortress and open the gates. Meanwhile, the rest of us hide among Kjotve’s people, and attack once the scouts give us the signal. He’ll still see us coming, but he won’t have nearly as much time to prepare as if we were to start a raid. We’ll have the element of surprise on our side, and both our clans will be together.”

Ulfar listened intently to the prince, playing out the image in his head. “...You know what? That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. It still carries many risks, but it’s better than the other options we have.”

“Agreed.” Arngeir said. “Even though I wish to rescue Thora as soon as possible, it would be wrong of me endanger the rest of our clan when we are already so vulnerable.”

Sigurd brought a hand up to his chin. “The only question is who will be the scouts. I could go, perhaps.”

Ulfar shook his head. “No, Kjotve’s men know your face by now. They’ll recognize you from a mile away. Besides, we need you alive to keep this alliance intact. I’ll speak to the warriors in our clan; find someone who’s capable and willing.”

“As will I.” Styrbjorn said. “Our people are weakened, but they’re more eager to fight than ever after the destruction that transpired today.”

The jarl threw in a quick reminder. “Whatever you do, just make sure that Eivor and Randvi don’t get pulled into this. I know they’ll want to help, but I’m not risking the lives of anymore of my children.”

“Of course,” Ulfar complied. “We’ll keep them safe.”

“As for everyone else,” Arngeir continued, “see to it that they get plenty of rest. I don’t intend on wasting any time. We’ll put this plan into action as soon as we are able.”

“Understood.”

“Good. I’m aware that this ambush has shaken the spirits of many, but we cannot accept defeat. Not while Thora’s life is in his hands. Rest well -- all of you -- and know that whatever happens in the future, the gods are watching us. Fight hard, and fight with honor. May Odin guide you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

THAT NIGHT

EIVOR’S CHAMBERS

Eivor cradled Varin’s axe in his grip, tracing a single finger along its engravings as the moonlight kissed the surface. 

At the moment, the young man was sitting on the edge of his bed just beside the window, and gazing aimlessly into the memories that lived underneath the blade. The delicate warmth of a nearby candle sat gently on the axe’s rim, and just by touching it, Eivor felt as if he were reliving that horrible night.

Ever since he spoke with Sigurd in the training yard, he hadn’t been able to tear his mind away from the relentless fires that still razed his dreams. In spite of all his efforts to ignore it, Kjotve’s voice continued to bellow inside his skull like the tolling of a church bell, and the sight of Varin’s eyes lingered on the edges of his vision.

It was a nightmare that Eivor hoped to never revisit. For years, he thought that his second encounter with Kjotve would result in him burying an axe into the man’s chest, and yet, he had found himself on the side of defeat once again. Kjotve remained as strong as ever despite the alliance they just formed, and now, the very same woman who once saved Eivor from his wrath was trapped in his binds.

“...I’m sorry, father.” The man whispered. “I’ve failed. I had the chance to reclaim the honor that Kjotve robbed from you so long ago... and I wasted it. As far as I’m concerned, I should be in Helheim right next to you.” He plopped the axe down on the bed. “I don’t deserve to wield this.”

Eivor took a deep breath and glanced out the window, staring into the moon’s ethereal gaze. 

“I wish you and mother were still here.” He said, speaking as if Varin could hear him. “None of this feels real anymore. I’ve spent my entire life waiting for the opportunity to restore your honor, and now, I’m trapped in a battle I don’t know how to fight. Kjotve has my sister, so many in our clan are dead, and I can’t even express my love for Sigurd without straining this alliance.”

Eivor leaned against the wall, allowing his head to roll back. “...I don’t know how much longer I can do this. How long will it be until Kjotve finally falls? What will it cost? How many more years will I have to wait?” He closed his eyes in exhaustion. “...It’s all just a mess.”

He sighed deeply and drifted off into a hollow silence, only for it to be filled again when someone’s voice came seeping through the door.

“Eivor?” A man called out, knocking on the surface. “Are you in there? It’s me, Sigurd. I...” he paused for a second, “...I wanted to check on you again.”

Eivor’s head perked up at the sound of his name, and he swiftly began making his way to the door.

“Give me a moment.” He replied.

Pacing towards the other side, Eivor strode across the room and pulled the door open, feeling a sense of relief settle on his shoulders once Sigurd’s face came into view.

“There you are,” the prince said lovingly, “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I know it’s rather late.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I can’t sleep anyways. Come on in.”

Stepping off to the side, Eivor allowed Sigurd to walk in before shutting the door behind him, causing a gust of wind to flutter through the frame. The soft glow radiating from the candles flickered briefly upon its entrance, and soon after, Eivor found himself standing face-to-face with the same man he had tried so hard to avoid.

“Is everything alright, Sigurd?” The Wolf-Kissed asked, noticing his sullen expression.

The prince snapped out of his gloomy state and quirked a brow at the question, dismissing his concerns.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, Eivor. I’m fine. Things have just been... overwhelming today. But I don’t need to tell you that.” Sigurd turned to face him. “How are you? I know you said you wanted to be alone earlier, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.”

Eivor met him in the middle of the chamber. “I don’t know. I keep thinking about Kjotve. About my parents. About you. Part of me wishes I could forget about all this and make it go away, but the other part wants to see it through. I just don’t know how.”

“Indeed. I know what you mean. We’ve been caught in an avalanche of one tragedy after another, but we’ve already come so far that... I can’t bring myself to back down. I need to ride it out.”

The young man nodded. “Exactly.”

A sudden thought crossed Sigurd’s mind. “Oh, that reminds me. I thought you should know -- we’ve devised a plan to get your sister back.”

Eivor’s eyes beamed with a glimmer of hope. “You have? What is it?”

“We’re going to send some scouts to infiltrate Kjotve’s fortress,” Sigurd explained. “They’ll open the gates for us, and we’ll hide among his people until we’re ready to strike. Your father thought it’d be best to approach this covertly in order to ensure Thora’s safety.”

“I see. And who are the scouts going to be?”

The older man shrugged. “I’m not sure who it’s going to be from your clan, but for us, Dag has volunteered himself.”

Eivor couldn’t hide the surprise in his tone. “Dag? Really? He never struck me as the type to be discreet.”

“Me neither, but my father seems to trust him to get the job done. And despite the rift that has recently formed between us, I must admit that Dag is a skilled warrior. I only hope he doesn’t get caught while on the inside. I still care about him, even if he’s been distant lately.”

Eivor thought back to the prince’s troubled mood. “Is that why you were worried when you walked in? I know you came here for me, but still. You must have a lot on your mind.”

“No,” he denied, “I... I was preoccupied with something else.”

The young man suddenly felt himself growing concerned. The softness had vanished entirely from Sigurd’s voice, and a touch of suspicion had taken its place.

“What is it then?” Eivor asked, wary to hear the answer. “Has something else happened?”

Sigurd crossed his arms in nervousness, checking for the shadows of anyone who might’ve been lurking outside the door.

“...Earlier today, just after the battle ended, Ulfar and I had a short conversation. We were talking about the nature of the attack, and he found it odd that Kjotve’s men managed to overwhelm us so easily. Even though we spent weeks planning the village’s defenses.”

Eivor saw reason in his claims. “That did seem odd, I agree. Right before the ambush started, Ulfar told me that Eirik was keeping an eye on a longship in the distance. Then, just after a few minutes, he was dead.”

Sigurd furrowed his brows in a troubled manner. “Then that only lends more merit to my worries.”

“How do you mean?”

The prince dug up an older memory. “Do you remember when I told you about my vision? With the wolf?”

“Yes,” Eivor said. “You spoke with Ingrida about it, if I’m not mistaken.”

“I did. And she believed it was a warning for a betrayal. I wasn’t willing to accept it at first, but after today’s events... it’s the only explanation I can think of. How else would Kjotve’s men have been able to get around our defenses so easily? And how else would they have managed to silence Eirik before he could warn anyone?”

“Gods...” the younger man sighed. “Do you have any idea who it could be?”

Sigurd’s nose crinkled in skepticism. “I have my suspicions, but no evidence to support them just yet. I only pray I’m not right.”

Eivor couldn’t hold back his curiosity. “Care to share your thoughts?”

The redheaded viking chewed on his bottom lip, undeniably afraid to see his friend’s reaction. “...As of right now, the two people I suspect the most are Dag and Ulfar.”

The prince’s distrust towards Dag didn’t faze Eivor, but the accusation against the latter shocked him.

“Ulfar?” He repeated. “No, he wouldn’t-- why do you think it’s him?”

Sigurd frowned out of pity. “I’m sorry, Eivor. I know he’s like a father to you, but during our time together, I’ve noticed that he bears the same mark I have upon my own neck. And if Ingrida’s predictions are to be believed, then the mark signifies some sort of connection between me and Tyr. Which, if Ulfar really is the traitor, can only mean that he must be connected to Fenrir.”

Eivor quickly saw the correlation in Ulfar’s name. “...The wolf.”

“Exactly. He hasn’t done anything to earn my scrutiny just yet, but Ingrida’s words continue to linger in the back of my mind nonetheless. All I’m saying is -- keep an eye on him. If there truly is a traitor among us, I don’t like the idea of attacking Kjotve’s fortress with a snake slithering in the grass.”

The other man placed his hands on his hips, reluctant to agree with him. “...A-Alright, Sigurd. I’ll do what I can to help, but you understand if this is difficult for me to come to terms with.”

“Of course. I don’t think Ulfar is the traitor yet, but we’ll let the evidence speak for itself should it arise. In the meantime, stay vigilant, Eivor. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

“The same goes for you, love. I--” Eivor caught the rest of his words before they could escape his throat, mentally cursing himself for allowing his affections to run free again. 

“Damn it,” he muttered, “Sigurd, I didn’t--”

“--It’s okay.” The prince replied, contrary to what the younger man was expecting.

“What?”

Sigurd shrugged, glancing around the room. “No one can hear us anyways.”

That didn’t erase any of Eivor’s fears. “Well, yes, but still. We shouldn’t be addressing each other that way.”

His companion sighed deeply, clearly sick of battling against his true emotions. “I know we shouldn’t, but let’s be honest, Eivor -- this isn’t helping anything. We couldn’t stay apart before the wedding, and even now, we’re struggling to keep things platonic. I told Ulfar I wouldn’t get any closer to you, but... I was a fool to make such a promise.”

Eivor picked up on his tone. “What are you trying to say?”

Sigurd shook his head in frustration. “I... I don’t know. I’m just as torn as you are. But if we keep pretending like there’s nothing between us, things are only going to get worse.”

“So what do we do?”

The prince’s gaze fell to the floor in heartache. “...We can’t do anything. That’s the problem. I’m a married man now. It wouldn’t be right for me to go behind Randvi’s back. It would be committing adultery.” He brought his focus back to Eivor and lifted his tone a bit, peering at him as if he were trying to find solace in his presence. 

“But... at the very least, allow me to do this. We may not be able to be together like before, but perhaps it will help ease some of the pain.”

Sigurd closed the distance between them and placed a gentle kiss on Eivor’s forehead, combing the man’s hair in a comforting motion. He let the other man’s head nestle itself just underneath his chin, and wrapped his arms securely around the distraught viking’s waist.

“I’m sorry it has to be like this,” the prince whispered. “I wish I could embrace you openly -- away from the shadows -- but you know how complicated things are.”

Eivor welcomed his lover’s touch, resting calmly on his broad physique. “I understand.”

The older man displayed a faint smile. “You always do. That’s what makes you such a gift.”

Much to the Wolf-Kissed’s dismay, Sigurd separated the hug and took a few steps back, finally ready to take his leave.

“Don’t cast your hope away just yet, Eivor. We’re caught in the middle of a storm, but there will come a day when we see the clouds break.”

The blonde warrior clenched his jaw, attempting to hide the sorrow building up in his chest. His struggles vanished for a moment thanks to the warmth of Sigurd’s kiss, but had only grown twice as worse now that he was free from his grasp again.

“I hope you’re right.” He replied quietly.

The prince walked past Eivor and placed a hand on the door’s wooden surface, preparing to say goodbye for the night.

“Stay safe, my dear. It won’t be too long before we’re charging into battle against Kjotve’s clan. If anything happened to you, I...” Sigurd cleared his throat, hastily pushing the horrid thought to the side, “...well, let’s save those concerns for another day. Just focus on getting some rest now. You’ve earned it.”

He turned back towards the door with a downcast look in his eyes, bidding his lover farewell.

“Goodbye, Eivor.”

The younger man stayed behind and stood alone in the darkness, watching Sigurd as shadows began to envelop his chambers. He could feel a thin layer of tears starting to gloss over his vision, and without anyone there to embrace him anymore, the lifeless chill of the night’s breeze only seemed to dig deeper into his skin.

“...Goodbye, Sigurd. May the gods protect you from the chaos that sheathes us.”

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 12

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns how to be a person, and grapples with how to help the other Volstrucker survivors, and his students, in a way he had never been helped.

Content warnings: References to Caleb's backstory, depression, poverty

Chapter summary: Caleb and the Nein meet up in Nicodranas, and he can no longer delay telling them of his failure to protect someone who desperately needed him. But, as it turns out, he was not the only person keeping secrets about that day.

Chapter notes: This is a somewhat chaotic chapter. Enjoy and let chaos reign, I guess! Chapter title is from Three by Sleeping At Last

****

Chapter 12: A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell but I'm slowly learning how to break this spell

Essek teleported the four of them to the Blooming Grove the following morning to pick up Caduceus, who offered to message Wensforth to save the wizards the spell. They had breakfast in the Grove with the Clays, and got their hands dirty in the garden for a while, until Caleb rolled the aches from his shoulders and began to draw the teleportation circle to Tidepeak Tower.

“I might have to go back earlier than the rest of you,” said Beauregard. “Dairon’s guiding the monks on the Nico hunt for now, but they’re super busy.”

“We can send you back whenever you need,” said Essek.

Caleb’s next few chalk strokes were a bit more aggressive than they needed to be. It was hard not to feel guilty for leaving Rexxentrum while Nico was out on his own and people were searching for him. Essek sat on the floor by his side, knocking their knees together. He felt better, and no one made any mention of his silent outburst.

He completed the final stroke and the five of them rushed through, landing in a familiar tower, where Wensforth waited in the doorway.

“Welcome, welcome.” Wensforth guided them down the stairs. “The master is eager to speak with you.”

Yussa was already arranged on a couch in the sitting area on the ground floor, delicate fingers holding a teacup. Once borderline inscrutable, the man smiled at them as he often did these days. Especially to Caleb, on whom Jester thought Yussa had a crush. Caleb was more of the mind that Yussa saw him as little more than a precocious child, given their respective ages, but his particular fondness was evident all the same.

“Oremid tells me you are teaching at the Soltryce Academy now,” Yussa said. “Sit. We should talk.”

“Hi, Yussa,” Beauregard said, a little pointedly. “How’ve you been?”

“I am well, Beauregard. It is good to see you. All of you.”

They arranged themselves on the soft couches in the space, Caleb sitting across Yussa for ease of conversation, given the man clearly had things to say today. Essek was at Caleb’s side, slightly further than he would be just around the Nein, but close enough to be a comfort whenever Caleb’s anxiety spiked nonetheless.

Essek had been to Yussa’s tower a few times in Caleb’s company before. Given everything the Nein had put Yussa through already, the man had taken the presence of a fugitive of the Kryn Dynasty in his stride.

With a gesture from Yussa, his teapot lifted and poured itself into the other five cups on the little table in the centre of the room. Then, in turn, each cup floated into the hands of his visitors. Caleb accepted his with a soft thanks, slipping into Zemnian out of habit. He had spoken more Zemnian in the last few weeks than he had in years. It was always the little words, the pleases and thank yous, the hellos and goodbyes, that stuck the hardest.

“So…” Yussa honed in on him again. “Teaching. A step down from the original job they offered you, I hear.”

“Teaching is a better use of my time than spying.” There were more things Caleb could say about the Archmage of Civil Influence as a position, and most of them were far less polite. “Astrid always wanted that position more than I did anyway.”

“Good. You might survive to old age after all, for a human.”

Essek flinched a little at the reminder of Caleb’s shorter lifespan. Yussa’s eyes tracked the movement, but he let it pass without comment.

“Are we third-wheeling for you guys again?” Beau asked, but it wasn’t really a question. “Because we can, like, go.”

Caduceus placed a package on Yussa’s table. “Here, I brought that tea you liked last time.”

“Yes, thank you. You are all welcome to stay if you like.”

Beauregard was already standing up. “Nah, I think we’re good. Cool to see you again with your face where it belongs.” She awkwardly finger-gunned in Yussa’s direction, backing towards the door.

She, Yasha and Caduceus left the tower.

Yussa watched them go with amusement. “It seems my social graces are rather rusty.”

“They don’t mind,” said Caleb. “They have met too many wizards to be offended.” Essek snickered into his hand, finally relaxing a bit. “So, you were saying?”

“Teaching is good work, if you can tolerate the children,” said Yussa. “I did it myself for a time. For one to turn down an archmage position… you must have a goal.”

“Leave the Empire better than I found it,” Caleb said. That encompassed all his knotted up feelings about it.

Yussa raised a single well-kept eyebrow. “Interesting. What is your definition of ‘better’, if I may ask?”

Caleb did have a vision for this, and the situation with Felix and Nico had thrown into sharp, painful relief how far there was to go, and how much pain he would never be able to prevent. “No more children thrown on the pyre. No more stolen childhoods. No more abuse. A government and its mages who choose to consider simple human cost, before they consider their own selfish ambitions.” Caleb was typically more reserved with Yussa, but the more he spoke of this, the harder it became to restrain his emotions. “No more wizards with a god complex who think themselves above basic compassion and ethics. No more butchering the innocent to grease the wheels of war. Just… no more.”

“A lofty goal,” Yussa said, quiet. “One that would take the remainder of my lifetime, or even young Essek’s lifetime, let alone yours.”

“I know. Hence the importance of teaching these things to those who will come after me.”

Yussa hummed thoughtfully. “I wish you luck. More powerful men than yourself have tried, and been consumed.”

“Been there, done that. Have the trauma.” Caleb wasn’t sure where he found the capacity to joke, even flatly, about all of this. Sometimes it was easier to get the point across if he allowed for a bit of sarcasm. “In my experience, the children put at the mercy of these people may need the most help. And that is something I can do.”

“I will watch your progress.” Yussa finished his tea, setting the cup aside. “Now, enough of mundane matters. I have been tinkering with Willi some more. Would you like to see the results?”

“Always.” Caleb missed that golem terribly.

They lost a few hours discussing the golems of the Happy Fun Ball, and comparing notes about the pre-Calamity Aeormatons the Nein had encountered. Caleb and Essek had run across Devexian a few times in their travels since. It was a good use of time, and it settled Caleb’s nerves. He felt better.

***

Once they left Tidepeak Tower, Essek disguised as a blonde half-elf, they headed over to Veth’s place. Caleb was somewhat nervous about this, because he knew she would see through any of his bullshit and know he was going through something. And then he would have to explain everything to the rest of the Nein. And, of course, Jester already had an inkling thanks to Astrid.

There was no getting out of this. And it wasn’t that Caleb didn’t want them to know, exactly. He had just grown tired of explaining it. And he knew what little equilibrium he had managed to find would fall away as soon as Veth said or did anything in response, and he would break all over again.

Nevertheless, he messaged Veth as soon as they stepped out of the tower. “Hallo, Veth. Essek and I are on our way to your place. Be there soon.” Then, for old time’s sake: “You can reply to this message.”

The first sound that came through was Veth’s trademark screech. “Caleb! We made lunch. Get over here!” A split-second’s pause. “Good shot! Oh, sorry Lebby. Luc shot Beau in the ass. Like mother, like son.”

Luc was going to be a menace as a teenager. Caleb intended to be around to see it. And probably try to save a little bit of Yeza’s sanity if possible.

Caleb and Essek took their time wandering through Nicodranas. The streets were filled with people out for lunch, enticing scents curling through the air. Caleb and Essek stopped by a bakery to grab some pastries for the group (mostly Jester)--there had evidently been some Zemnian influence on Nicodranas, or the other way around, as treats such as bee stings could be found in both areas. Nicodranas made them a touch sweeter and stickier.

Caleb also grabbed a fresh loaf of bread, though he did not shove his hands into it this time. He hadn’t known that was a poverty thing until Beau and Jester had reacted so strongly to him doing it that one time. He still thought it was a useful trick, but it apparently unnerved people. Bread mittens had kept him warm many times in the freezing cold when he had no one to look out for him, and had to choose between food and something as simple as mittens.

Anyway, bread was wonderful.

They wound through the streets until they reached Veth’s place. There was an unpleasant feeling in the pit of Caleb’s stomach that he couldn’t quite describe. Unease or dread felt too uncharitable, but the feeling was somewhere in that neighbourhood. Essek slipped his hand into Caleb’s, gently leading him to the door. Essek knocked, and it was thrown open in seconds and Veth had already thrown herself at Caleb’s abdomen, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

Caleb almost broke then and there. He carefully rested a hand on the top of her head, sliding his fingers through her hair, looking ahead but not really seeing anything. Veth gave him a final squeeze and stepped back, grabbing his hand on the way. It took Caleb a second too long to lock eyes with her, by which time whatever joy had been on her face had been replaced with worry.

“Hi, Lebby,” she said, in a careful soft tone she used whenever he was teetering on the brink of crashing down. “What’s the matter?”

Caleb took a careful breath, and spoke in a measured tone. “I will tell you, but we should eat first. I may not be able to later.”

Veth tugged him inside, Essek taking care of the door and following them through the house. The rest of the Nein were already crammed into the kitchen, stuffing their faces with a simple stew that smelled delightful. It must have been one of the recipes Veth remembered from Felderwin.

Jester leapt upon him with a hug, dragging Essek in with her. “You’re here! It’s so good to see you! We got chased by a dragon turtle again and I turned it into a sea slug like last time, and we got away!”

“This happened at sea, I assume?” asked Caleb, who knew enough about Jester to take nothing at face value.

“Of course, Caleb. Don’t be silly!” Jester let him go, and booped his nose. He managed not to flinch.

Caleb wordlessly held out the pastries and bread. Jester squealed and grabbed them off him, shoving them into the centre of the table. Veth grabbed an enormous knife and began to cut the bread while the rest of the Nein shuffled around to make room for two more chairs. It was a tight fit, and Caleb was firmly sandwiched between Essek and Beauregard, but it felt somewhat akin to Essek’s nighttime pressure on his back and sometimes chest that crushed his soul back into his body. Their thighs were jammed together now, and it was easy to hook his ankle around Essek’s and keep himself grounded. For now.

A bowl was shoved in his direction and he ate mechanically, dimly aware of the chatter around him. Luc’s voice was among the loudest, and it was good to hear his voice. After everything the boy had been through, on Caleb’s account no less. No matter what anyone else said.

Caleb was going to spiral if he didn’t get a hold of himself. And he wanted to have a good time in Nicodranas; he didn’t know when he would be back here. Not to mention he would prefer not to retraumatise the already traumatised toddler by having a breakdown in the middle of lunch.

So he ate. Slowly. Methodically. He silently counted each mouthful, because he needed to count something. And when he had finished the stew, he felt more present in his surroundings. Veth distributed slices of bread with little pots of spiced olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and the Nein continued to chatter away as they tore off pieces of bread, dunked them into the oil, and finished off the loaf. Caleb was glad they liked it. And that Veth had been here long enough to have picked up a local bread tradition to share with them all.

“This is good bread, Caleb,” said Jester.

“I went to the bakery you recommended,” Caleb replied.

“That was months ago! You remembered!”

Caleb tapped his temple.

“Caleb has a very good memory,” Veth said warmly, as if everyone at the table wasn’t already keenly aware.

“I’m a bit curious about that,” said Kingsley, his tail smacking Beauregard in the arm, ignoring her as she slapped it off her. “Have you always been like that?”

“My memory was always good, ja,” said Caleb. It was rare for Kingsley to ask about someone’s past; very Molly-esque, not that Caleb would ever tell him that. “I could count things very well, especially time, and naturally had good recall. I did develop it further at school, but it was always there.”

Most people who found out about Caleb’s memory either saw it as an interesting party trick, or a useful tool if they were more like Trent. He did not speak of the downsides of having a near-infallible memory very often.

But Kingsley was looking at him with sharpness in his eyes behind the easy smile. “Maybe I’m biased since I barely remember anything that this body did before a few months ago, but that sounds feckin’ awful.” He said it lightly, but Caleb could hear the edge in his voice. Kingsley had been around when Caleb had told his story to Beauregard in the Grove; he had the context, and his own experiences, to put things together.

“A blessing and a curse, ja.”

The mood at the table threatened to darken, but Luc was thankfully oblivious to it, and instead started babbling about a huge bug the Brenattos had found in the garden yesterday. And that his father had screamed very loudly. Caleb sat back from the conversation, but was pleased when the tension broke.

“It really was adorable,” Veth was saying.

Yeza rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Yes, and you were my valiant saviour once again.”

But lunch was just about wrapping up at this point, and Veth would soon turn her focus back onto Caleb and his problems. Caleb’s lunch sat like a stone in his stomach, and maybe he shouldn’t have eaten quite that much. But it was hard to say no to a home-cooked meal surrounded by the people he loved most in this world. Those who were still alive, anyway.

Veth, charitably, let Caleb have a few extra minutes while she and Yeza cleared the table before she sat back down with a sigh, and turned her eyes to him. “All right. What’s the matter?”

Yeza picked Luc up. “I think we’ll go for a walk.” He didn’t know every little thing about Caleb’s shit, but he knew enough to understand whatever they were about to discuss was not something Luc needed to hear. “We’ll be back in an hour.”

As soon as they were gone, Jester spoke up. “Astrid said some stuff happened, but she wouldn’t tell me what.”

Caleb sighed deeply. “All right. I will tell you. Some of you already know what happened. I would appreciate your assistance.”

Beauregard knocked her knee against his. “We’ll help. But you should start.”

So he did. Caleb told the Nein that Astrid had been reaching out to the Volstrucker, and that two boys had been unaccounted for. He led most of the explanation of how they had come to understand what this probably meant, and to make plans for it. Beauregard began to speak up a bit when he spoke of finding Felix and convincing him to speak to them, of bringing in Caduceus to lift the modified memory. Caduceus began to add pieces where relevant, of the things he saw. Of scrying on Nico, and learning where he was.

Beauregard led the discussion of rushing after him and finding the house ablaze, and Caleb very briefly spoke of his experience on the upper floor, and finding the bodies of Nico’s parents. The memories were too vivid, and choked him up a bit, so Beauregard took over once again, and then Caduceus after they had traded places to help Caleb try to save the Baumanns.

“I do have a confession to make,” said Caduceus.

“Oh?” said Caleb, who couldn’t say much else at the moment.

“I was still scrying when Nico lit the fire,” Caduceus admitted. “I saw how he reacted to it. I chose not to inform you, because I feared leaving the scry before your arrival, in case something else happened. I… in the moment, I did not think telling you would have helped, but I wanted to apologise. I wanted to explain all this earlier, but...” Caduceus didn’t finish--maybe he had realised that would be jumping a bit ahead in the story. But Caleb understood.

There had been a small shred of curiosity in the back of Caleb’s mind, but he had been too preoccupied to give it much thought. But Caduceus’s explanation made sense; he had weighed up the benefits of both options and chosen the one he thought best in the moment. Leaving the scry to tell Caleb the house was already ablaze probably wouldn’t have made much difference. The Baumanns had already been long dead by the time he reached them. So Caleb harboured no ill will towards Caduceus for the difficult choice he had made, nor did he resent Caduceus for not telling him sooner, when Caleb had been far too unwell.

“There is no need to apologise,” Caleb told him. “You made a hard decision. Thank you for telling me now, when I am better able to handle it. Are you all right?”

Caduceus smiled sadly at him. “I understand you better now. Not in the way either of us wanted, but I’m all right now that I’ve told you.” He straightened, clearing his throat. “Anyway, where were we?”

They briefly talked about the night they had Nico, and that it had been a bad one for Caleb, and then Essek chipped in to describe the Greater Restoration spell the following morning. And the chaos that had ensued. Caleb spoke briefly about the chase on his side of things, with Beau and Yasha contributing theirs.

“We didn’t find him,” said Beauregard. “Monks and Volstrucker are still on the lookout. Caleb thinks the kid probably ran for the woods to get some cover. He taught Felix the Sending spell and took him back home to his parents.”

“Felix and I message Nico regularly,” said Caleb. “No responses yet.” And, because he was with the Nein, and because they loved him, he said, “I… feel a bit useless, at the moment.”

Jester reached across the table, tears in her eyes, and squeezed his hand. “You’re not useless, Caleb. You’re really smart, and really cool.”

“You’ve done a lot for those kids,” said Fjord. “I’m sure they both appreciate it, even if Nico isn’t talking to you. He’ll find you when he’s ready.”

“Maybe,” Caleb murmured. He was tired.

Veth was watching him, mouth downturned at the corners. “Caleb. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come over.”

Caleb didn’t know what to say to her. An apology wasn’t enough. And he didn’t know if he could explain it right now. He looked away from her, down at the table, and tried not to crack apart with guilt. He was not doing a very good job.

A flash of movement, and Veth had launched herself across the table and into his lap. “Oh, Cay Cay, honey. No. Shh.” She squished his cheeks, which he only now realised were wet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Caleb buried his face in her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m not angry, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about it. It’s okay.”

That only made him feel worse. Breathing was hard. Two hands, belonging to two different people, found their way to his back, rubbing slow circles. The more delicate hand--Essek’s--applied a little more pressure than the other. Probably Beauregard. She was next to him.

“You’re all right, Caleb,” said Caduceus. “We’ve got you.”

Caleb laughed wetly, remembering those exact words from Fjord as they had guided him home after a panic attack behind the coffee shop. Maybe this was a thing now. Or at least a thing from the Wildmother devotees of the Nein.

The rest of the day was quiet. Caleb composed himself after a while, and set up his lesson plans and speech notes on the floor of the Brenattos’ living room. A cup of dead people tea at his side. Surrounded by the chatter of his friends, and Essek’s head on his shoulder as he worked through a book written in Undercommon.

Yeza and Luc returned after a while, and Luc napped on the couch at Caleb’s back. Breathing loudly into his ear. It should have been annoying, but really wasn’t. The boy woke up some time later and wriggled his way onto the floor, peppering Caleb with questions about what he was doing. Caleb was more than happy to answer, hoping he had simplified it enough for the boy. Luc was very clever, but he was also very young.

Most of the Nein drifted away once Caleb seemed more stable. Jester, Fjord and Kingsley went off to check on their crew (including Vandran), and hang out with Marion. Caleb expected he would see her at the Chateau in the evening for dinner. Beau and Yasha had wandered off to the fish market.

Caduceus was still around, and Caleb suspected he actually felt much worse than he was letting on. But he seemed content to chat with Yeza and Veth over tea in the kitchen. Caleb caught snatches of the conversation; it seemed they were trying to explain some alchemical concepts to him. There was a good chance that Caduceus did have some knowledge in the area, but not in the same scientific way. Which made such a conversation all the more entertaining, as fragments of it drifted into the living room as the Brenattos and Caduceus tried to reconcile their wildly different experiences of very similar things.

Luc had just finished asking Caleb what a cantrip was, drawn from his lesson notes for Beginner’s Transmutation. The boy climbed into his lap, resting his head against Caleb’s collarbone. At first, Caleb thought he was still groggy from his nap. Then:

“Uncle Caleb?”

“Ja?”

“Are you having a bad day?”

That was a far cry from most of Caleb’s interactions with Luc, where he was mostly playing the part of the fun uncle with cool magic tricks. Essek hadn’t spent as much time with Luc, and was still phenomenally awkward around both him and Yeza, and even he seemed to notice the shift. Essek froze, his eyes glued to the one spot on the page.

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked Luc.

Luc shrugged. “Your eyes are puffy.”

Caleb chuckled at that; trust a small child to have no filter. “Ja, okay. I cried a bit earlier. Your mother and our friends took good care of me, though.” He thought back to Luc’s question. “We all have bad days, ja?”

Luc nodded, face pressed against Caleb’s shirt. “I had a bad day yesterday.”

“Oh?”

“I was remembering something that hurt a lot. And sometimes when I remember it, I get really sad and can’t think about anything else.”

Caleb, unfortunately, knew exactly what Luc was remembering. Veth didn’t bring it up often, but she had occasionally mentioned that Luc would have entire days after waking from nightmares of fire where he was just… out of sorts. Not wanting to play. Or even shoot his crossbow. Caleb could relate to the feeling.

So he set his pen aside and wrapped his arms around Luc. “Ja, that happens to me, too. Shall we stick together for today? We can cheer each other up.”

Luc just nodded, and Caleb rocked him side-to-side. The boy was probably still recovering, both from his disturbed sleep and the depressive episode.

“You’re good with him,” Essek said later, when Luc had fallen asleep against his chest.

Yeza ducked his head out of the kitchen, probably concerned that Luc was up to mischief in his silence, but his expression cleared when he saw the boy was sleeping. “Thank you, Caleb.”

Luc was not only a child, but also a halfling child, so it was a simple matter for even Caleb to hold him throughout the day. He felt better having someone else to care for, and Luc seemed to find comfort in Caleb’s attention.

***

That evening, they all visited the Lavish Chateau for dinner. Essek was in his blonde half-elf disguise again while the group ate on the ground floor. Luc was still clingy with Caleb, but he genuinely didn’t mind. He balanced the boy in his lap while they ate dinner. The chef had prepared a mildly spiced rice dish for the table that was easy for both of them to eat in this situation.

Marion joined them, graceful and lovely as ever. Like Yeza, she had not held ill will for what had befallen her during Trent’s pursuit. In fact, on more than one occasion, she had joked that she should thank “that horrible man” for forcing her to spend time with Babenon while in hiding. The situation was still complicated between the pair, and Caleb understood those kinds of complications better than most of the Nein. But she seemed happier than she had been in a long time.

Jester had apparently updated Marion with every shred of information she had gleaned from the Nein, so Marion was already aware of Caleb’s new job, and that he and the lesbians had a house together in Rexxentrum.

“It’s quite the change, I imagine,” she said.

“Oh, ja. I still wake up sometimes and have to pinch myself.”

“If you ever find yourself in Rexxentrum,” said Beauregard, “we’d love to have you.” She even managed not to look constipated or aggressive while saying it, which was a far cry from the prickly woman Caleb had met in Trostenwald all that time ago.

Marion smiled warmly. “Unlikely, but I will be sure to take you up on the offer if the need arises. How is your work, Beauregard?”

She glanced at Caleb, and sighed. “Complicated. But Caleb’s ex is the new archmage in the Assembly, and she’s actually not a shitty person most of the time. So that helps.”

Marion looked to Caleb, amused. “How does she feel about your new partner?”

Gods, Caleb had never gotten to have this kind of conversation with his own mother. So, even though the reminder hurt a bit, he indulged her. “Oh. Uh. Well, you see…”

“Caleb’s had a threesome,” Jester supplied helpfully.

“I see.” Now Marion looked very entertained. “We all have hidden depths. The two people who came to warn us about your teacher?”

“Ja.” Caleb’s face was hot, and probably as red as his hair. “They are… respectful of us. But they also told me they would, ah…” He remembered there was a small child on his lap who absolutely did not need to go around telling people he would cut off their balls. “They would cut off an important part of his anatomy if he ever hurt me. So, I think they approve.”

Essek made a choked sound. “You did not tell me this.”

“I was preoccupied.” Caleb didn’t need to elaborate; Essek would figure out what he meant.

Essek relaxed marginally, and knocked their knees together. “Right.” He wasn’t the type for public displays of affection, even if he didn’t have to worry about drawing attention to himself.

Marion looked to Essek. “Good luck.”

He laughed nervously. “Thank you. I will need it.”

“You’ll be fine,” Caleb said. Astrid and Wulf cared too much for Caleb to hurt him, now that they were no longer in a situation where it was required of them.

“Moral of the story,” Beauregard said, already three cups in. “Caleb’s got game.”

“I really do not,” Caleb said flatly.

“Real recognises real, Caleb, and you’re lookin’ real familiar.”

Caleb sighed, relieved that Luc was preoccupied with a puzzle cube he had brought the Brenattos last time he was in town. “We have talked about this before.”

“Yeah, but it’s different in front of Marion. She knows what I’m talking about.”

Marion chuckled softly behind her hand. “Indeed I do.”

“Caleb’s a loving guy, if you know what I mean,” said Jester, and her eyebrow waggle was too much for him to bear. Caleb did not stop loving people, and while it was easier to deal with his feelings for Jester now they were both in stable, happy relationships, there would always be an edge for Caleb. A point where he had to step back.

Kingsley, also quite drunk at this point, was biting his lip while he watched Caleb. “Oh, really?” The flirting from Kingsley was far easier to handle, even if the ghost of Molly made any joy bittersweet.

“That’s quite enough, I think,” said Essek. Gods, Caleb was both relieved and terrified by how well the man could read him these days.

Kingsley and Jester both pouted, and Caleb pounded back his glass of wine so he didn’t have to look at them.

Later, as Caleb carried Luc through the nighttime streets alongside Essek, Veth and Yeza, Essek tugged gently on his sleeve.

“Maybe this is a bad time,” Essek said quietly, tilting his head to check that Luc was asleep. He was. “And I do not expect answers you do not wish to give. But, may I ask you something?”

Caleb glanced ahead, where Veth had grabbed Yeza’s ass; they weren’t listening to this conversation. “All right.”

“I know the nature of our circumstances means we cannot be together all the time,” Essek said quietly. “I had a… proposal, I suppose. I don’t know how to word it, or if you will be insulted. But I notice you are very…” He cleared his throat. “What the fuck am I saying? You are a sexual person, and I enjoy that very much about you. And while we are together, I am happy for us both to fulfill our needs with each other.”

“But?” Caleb had not fully recovered from Jester and Kingsley at the Chateau.

“Well, I was wondering. You know I do not experience attraction as often as you do. That I need to be close to someone, and I am close to very few people. You are the first in many years to have caught my interest in this way. But I know it’s not the same for you.”

“Essek, I love you, but please get to the point.”

“Right.” Essek chuckled, and it was out of sheer discomfort. “I just wanted to say, that if you choose to scratch that, ah, itch while I am not around, I would be okay with that.”

Caleb didn’t know what he had expected from Essek, but certainly not that. “Oh. Um. Good to know.”

Essek glanced around in the dark, evidently found nothing of concern, and kissed Caleb’s cheek. “You are still my priority in that department. And I want to remain yours as well.”

“You are.”

“Good. There will be times when we are apart for a long time. You are still mine, through all of it, but I don’t mind if you, ah, take your pleasures as you need them.”

“That is… generous.” Caleb’s mind was not coping with this conversation at all. “I will… think about it.”

The Brenatto home came into view at that point, and Caleb was relieved that it effectively ended this discussion. Caleb had never really talked about it, but he had also never hidden from Essek the fact he had a lot of feelings for many people going at any one time. Essek came first. Always. And he wasn’t sure if he would ever take Essek up on the offer to invite someone else into his bed in Essek’s absence. But it was good of him to say.

He felt seen, in a strange way. Even though Essek was firmly monogamous, and extremely demisexual, he understood Caleb better than most.

So, as long as Essek wasn’t being self-sacrificing by offering this, Caleb was grateful for it. Even if he never acted on it. He couldn’t think about it right now. Probably wouldn’t for a long time. And if he did think about it, he certainly would not be doing that while Essek was very much within his reach, rendering the offer irrelevant.

They stepped inside the house after Veth and Yeza, and offered to watch Luc for a while. Though no one said anything explicitly for fear of Luc waking and hearing the conversation, it had evidently been some time since Veth and Yeza had been intimate together.

So Caleb and Essek sat in the sitting room for a while, quietly working on their respective studies, with Luc napping in Caleb’s arms.

[thegreenmeridian]

Ok, a lot of people have heard of the Dyatlov Pass Incident. But have you ever heard of “The English Calamity”?

In 1936 a group of 27 grammar schools boys aged 12-17 went hiking in the Black Forest in Germany, under the direction of 27 year old PE and German teacher Kenneth Keast. The oldest boy, 17 year old Douglas Mortifee was a prefect and assisted Keast in leading the group.

By most reports, they were poorly equipped for the challenging route chosen, especially given the wintery conditions in April. Some were even wearing sandals and shorts. The only map they had was a 1:100,000 scale map lacking terrain details, provided by the “School Travel Service”.

The plan was to cross Mount Schauinsland, starting at the village of Freiburg and finishing in Todtnauberg. When warned by the tourist office in Freibergof the weather forecast, Keast’s response was a blythe “the English are used to sudden changes in the weather!”.

After getting lost in the deteriorating conditions, they happened across an inn where again, a local woman warned them against continuing. The paths and signeage would be buried beneath snow and given that they’d already become disoriented once, surely continuing would be dangerous.

Again, Keast didn’t seem to grasp the seriousness. They would brush the snow off signs if need be, he said. And so they continued. Two woodcutters retreating from the worsening weather warned them off continuing, and a postman, Otto Steirt, even offered to guide them to return to the village or guide them to a mining hostel. This was at 3.15pm; they had left Freiburg in the morning. Keast turned the offer down.

Keast did question the state of his boys, most reporting at least some degree of misery from the cold and wet, but nonetheless, Keast decided it would be better to press on. Partly as a result of his map: at such a scale, the map showed only major routes and gave no indication that the next leg of the hike would be over particularly steep inclines, including he gruelling 600m 70% gradient stretch known as Kappler Wand.

The first boy to collapse from cold and exhaustion was Jack Alexander Eaton. The school’s boxing champion, healthy and fit, fell to the ground and was offered three things: a piece of cake, an orange, and the advice to “buck up.”

At last, they reached the ridge. Now they were facing the threat of full exposure to the winds, and it was here Keast made a terrible mistake. Had they turned eastward into the howling winds, they would have reached the summit station that lay less than a mile away. Instead, and understandably, they turned west. Disoriented, bedraggled, the boys continued on. Eaton and another boy were by now unable to walk and had to be carried, another three weren’t far off.

At last, they heard the 7pm church bells from the distant village of Hofsgrund. Knowing they would not make it off the mountain without help, Keast sent two of the healthiest ahead while the others remained behind to try and revive their fallen friends. The two sent ahead took more than an hour to reach a farmhouse on the very edge of the village. Farmer Eugen Schweizer, was in the process of bundling himself up to leave his house to catch the bread delivery when up to his door stumbled two half-frozen boys in shorts. Through chattering teeth and in broken German, they managed to give their message.

Zwei Mann, krank am Berg. Two men sick on the mountain.

Herr Schweizer ran at once to the village in to gather a rescue party. With skis strapped to their feet, the men set out and what they found was a disaster. The boys were spread out across a wide area by this point, some stumbling towards the village and some collapsed. Schweizer nearly fell over two unconscious boys nearly buried in the snow. One boy, Stanley Lyons, was discovered collapsed only 10 metres from the village inn, already dead. Keast was found with two unconscious boys. Rescuer Hubert Wissler climbed alone for 45 minutes to reach three boys suffering exposure. The rescue effort carried on until every boy had been found, lasting until almost midnight.

A doctor who was by chance holidaying in the area rushed to help the worst cases, while the boys in less severe condition were treated by the locals using the time-tested method of beating them with brooms to get their circulation going, lest exposure to the heat of the large wood stove in the inn send them into shock.

Despite the villager’s best efforts, four boys were dead. Eaton, who had fallen first, 12 year old Francis Bourdillon, 13 year old Peter Ellercamp, and 14 year old Stanley Lyons. Two more, 14 year olds Arthur Roberts and Roy Witham, remained in serious condition and were sent to hospital the following day. Witham was never to regain consciousness.

(Jack Eaton)

Dazed and barely able to comprehend what had happened, the boys were returned to Freiburg to await their journey home.

Where the story gets especially tragic is how it was used as Nazi propeganda. The leader of the Hitler Youth rushed to telegraph the British Ambassador to inform him that wreaths “from the German Youth” would be placed upon every coffin sent back to England, and that a Hitler Youth sentinel would watch over the coffins until their transportation. Newspapers in both nations carried pictures of this vigil, with coffins draped in Union Jacks against a backdrop of swastikas. As the local Youth leader gave a speech about the “will of understanding and peace” between British and German “comrades”, older Youth members took the surviving boys out to play football and on omnibus rides.

The hike has begun on a Friday; on Monday, the nation celebrated Hitler’s birthday. The coffins of the boys were not except from the celebrations. In a parade lead by local Nazi dignitaries, hundreds of Hitler Youth, Union of German Girls, and Freiburg schoolchildren, the coffins were escorted to Freiburg train station. The survivors boarded the train accompanied by 20 Youth.

The Nazi propeganda machine had already begun spreading the tale that the rescue had been a Hitler Youth effort, and the Reich’s Youth Press had issued a statement claiming the boys who had died had done so in the service of “further[ing] the open, honest friendship between nations”. The mayor of Freiburg even wrote to the father of one of the deceased boys, speaking of how his son had been “sacrificed” and become a “standard bearer for the important aspects of understanding between our two great nations”.

The excitement did not stop at Freiburg; thousands of Germans came out to watch the train on its 330 mile journey from Freiburg to the Belgian border, many throwing sweets for the survivors as they hung out of the train windows to watch the spectacle. Several parents of the boys personally wrote thank you letters to Hitler to thank him for the grand send off, and to the German state train company for waiving the £60 fee for conveying each coffin.

When the coffins at last returned home, they bore wreaths from the Hitler Youth, the British Ambassador to Germany, and Hitler himself. More floral tributes, bedecked in swastikas, arrived for the boys’ funerals.

Keast remained in Germany for another few days as a guest of the Hitler Youth, and a British tabloid newspaper ran a photo of him sitting in an open-top car with a Hitler Youth representive and a local Gestapo member.

Plans for a memorial were raised publicly for the first time by the official Nazi newspaper around a month after the disaster. The Hofsgrund villagers, perhaps annoyed at the Hitler Youth claiming the rescue efforts as their own, lobbied for an inscription that would have acknowledged the locals who had risked their lives to bring each boy, dead or alive, from the mountain. It was, however, the leader of the loca Hitler Youth who was eventually given control of the project.

While the original plan by the Hofsgrund villagers had been a rock with an inscription, the Youth leader wanted something far grander, going so far as to bring aboard renouned art professor Hermann Alker to create a design for a project he was keen to stress was of special interest to the Führer. The final design consisted of two huge slabs of Black Forest granite inscribed with the names of the boys, with a third stone bridged atop bearing a Nazi eagle and swastika.

(The monument today)

The inauguration was due to be attended by a member of the British royal family and Lord Baden-Powell, founder of the Scout movement. However, the monument’s completion date, the summer of 1938, was shortly before the Munich Agreement which gave Germany control of the Sudetenland, and the atmosphere between Germany and England was no longer one in which such an event would take place. There were even calls to tear the monument down, though nothing ever came of them.

Another, smaller monument exists. Commissioned by the father of Jack Eaton and created by a Freiburg sculpture, the lone granite cross sits just 500m from the grand Nazi sculpture. Another memorial sits at the entrance to the Hofsgrund church yard, erected by the parents and thanking the locals for their help.

(Eaton’s memorial)

Eaton’s father, also named Jack, lead his own investigation into the events, going so far as to travel the route himself just days after the disaster and interview rescuers and witnesses with the help of a solicitor and interpreter. He discovered the inadequate map used by Keast and handed it over to the local prosecutor’s office, vowing not to rest until a public inquiry was held to determine how such a tragedy could have happened. Eventually releasing his own 10-page report on the events, Eaton Sr. believed that had it not been for the church bells, every boy likely would have perished. He also claimed that Keast’s “open dislike” of Germans resulted in his refusal to take any warning seriously, concluding that it would have been “degrading for him to accept a German’s word of advice”. His understandable anger towards Keast was such that he originally intended his memorial to his son to contain the words “their teacher failed them in the hour of trial”, though the local authorities refused to allow it.

No investigation of the matter was ever seriously considered and Keast returned to work at the Strand school, along with his surviving pupils, not long after. He even went so far as to plan a ski trip to Austria just eight months after the tragedy, though this was stopped after threats to the school made by Eaton Sr.

This was not a singular incident; Eaton Sr. frequently harassed Keast at the school and at his home, and often railed against older boys on the trip whom he accused of cowardice in letting harm befall the younger students. Eaton Sr.’s anger was such that he hung a sign in his shop charging Keast with his son’s death, and shouted at a student in the street for wearing the uniform of the school that had caused his son’s death. The trauma of losing his son caused him to become the tragedy’s fifth victim, dying in a psychiatric hospital after several years spent desperately fighting for justice.

Keast continued his career as a teacher, eventually moving to a different school and living in comfortable obscurity until his passing in 1971. His actions immediately following the tragedy were seemingly those of a man unable to comprehend or accept what had happened - the report given to a German investigator completely omitted the severity of warnings offered by the locals and on his return home, he went quickly on holiday to Bournemouth where he had a brief but intense romance with a teacher met there. A letter sent to her, barely a week after four of his students died, thanks her for restoring him to “whatever sanity I can hope to approach” and also makes the claim that “in spite of everything,” his time with her was “the happiest day of his life”.

The English Calamity is practically unheard of outside of Hofsgrund and Freiburg, and the official, albeit false, story of Nazi heroism made it an uncomfortable one to remember. But it is worth remembering, not least as an example of the dangers of arrogance in the face of danger.

[love-bean]

Spectacular - Prologue

so hello! i decided i would upload this in parts since it is quite long lol this is gonna be a little prologue type thing to help you get to know my oc a little bit and get the ball rolling. so without further ado!

wk: 1760

-o-o-o-o-o-

Growing up, Anastasia never understood why she had to be prim and proper while all of her older brothers did not. It made her life particularly un-spectacular.

“Miss Mackenzie,” the governess sighed. “Please do not do this today.”

“I just want an answer!” the nine-year-old groaned. “Why can’t I learn to shoot and ride and fight the way they can?”

“Augustus does not shoot or fight,” the governess pointed out.

“Augustus is only one year my senior. Our other brothers did not learn to fight until they were nearing 12,” the girl grumbled.

Sighing, the elder woman sat down beside her pupil. “Anastasia, there are many things a boy must learn in order to become a man. But there are different things that a girl must learn in order to become a woman. Unfortunately, although your mother has passed and you have no older sisters, you still must learn these things, no matter how upsetting it is to you.”

The little girl frowned and crossed her arms. They were both silent for a few moments before the governess placed a gentle hand on her knee.

“How about after we finish our lessons today, I will summon Alexander and perhaps he will take you riding.”

It wasn’t until she met Eloise Bridgerton that she truly understood the pressure of a young woman in society.

“It’s unfair,” Anastasia, aged 13 years, complained as she kicked a stray rock from the path.

“I agree,” Eloise replied, walking arm-in-arm with her new friend.

“Respectfully, you do not understand,” Anastasia said. “You have your mother, and your older sister, Daphne. You are well-guided. And you do not have to be perfect! I am the only girl in my family, and the youngest, and-”

“Anastasia,” Eloise interrupted gently. “Do not work yourself up. While I am not in the exact same position, I will still have to be a perfect lady eventually. Daphne will be married someday, and the responsibility will fall onto me to help guide Francesca and Hyacinth.”

They walked silently for a few moments before Eloise snorted out a laugh.

“Besides, your first season won’t even be for seven more years. You have plenty of time to perfect the art of perfection.”

Seven years. Anastasia wasn’t supposed to debut in society until after she turned twenty. That all changed when her governess fell ill and passed away shortly before her seventeenth birthday.

It was a hard loss for the Mackenzies, but it was particularly difficult for the youngest member of the family. Mrs. Henrietta Hobbs was the only female figure Anastasia had ever known, having been less than one month old when her own mother passed.

But the loss of Mrs. Hobbs sped Anastasia’s life into motion.

Anastasia stood in the sitting room by the window, watching the rain drizzle over London. It looked as miserable outside as she felt, and while not usually content to sit still, she did not have the energy to do much else.

“Sister.”

A gentle voice broke her from her trance and she wiped a stray tear away before turning her head toward the door where her eldest brother stood.

“Yes, Alexander?” she replied.

“Father would like us all to meet in the study,” he said, offering his hand. “That means you too.”

She nodded and walked toward him, wrapping her arm around his and allowing him to lead her through their home. In the study, their father sat behind his large wooden desk while their other three brothers had gathered in front of him.

“Ah, my beginning and end,” Lord Mackenzie said as his remaining two children entered the study.

As they joined their siblings, he stood.

“As you all know, we have been mourning the recent loss of Mrs. Hobbs,” he said, glancing at his daughter. “As a result, Anastasia, you will make your debut in this upcoming season. I will chaperone you as well as your four brothers. Am I clear?”

And make her debut she did. Not only was she named the diamond of the first water that season, but she found a husband by her third ball.

Of course, she shared many dances with many different suitors, all wishing to claim the hand of the only Mackenzie daughter. Mostly, however, she socialized with the three eldest Bridgertons, who were the only ones in attendance apart from their mother and who had become her close friends over the years she had known Eloise.

Anastasia stood at the edge of the ballroom, attached to her eldest brother’s protective arm, when three familiar faces approached them.

“Hello, Mackenzies,” Anthony greeted.

“Hello, Bridgertons,” Alexander replied in a similar fashion.

“Miss Mackenzie,” Benedict said, bowing his head slightly. “You look beautiful this evening.”

“Just this evening?” Anastasia teased. 

“I have always favored pink on you,” he replied with a lopsided smirk.

“Well, I am glad to have pleased you tonight and I will have to continue my efforts in doing so for the future,” she said dryly.

“She hates pink,” Augustus interrupted, flashing his younger sister a mischievous grin.

“You try having to wear nothing but the wretched color for your entire life,” she snapped quietly before straightening her posture and recovering from her unladylike outburst. “It is the color of weakness, of softness. It is the same color of dress every young lady wears to every ball; the same young ladies who fawn over my brothers, of all of you, I am sure.”

“In my opinion, softness is not equal to weakness,” Benedict quipped. “Tulips bear the same color, and yet they manage to survive the harshest of winters and longest of summers.”

“Only to be picked by a careless person and die within days,” she argued.

“Ever the optimist, Ana,” he said, tone warm and fond.

She rolled her eyes. “You have not called me that since I was but a child.”

“You are still but a child,” he said. “But over the years I have had the pleasure of knowing you, I have watched you blossom into a beautiful young woman, much like a tulip.”

She shook her head, chuckling.

“Please, Benedict,” Andrew groaned. “If you’re going to court my sister, fine. But at least ask her to dance first.”

In the end, it was one Lord George Weston who had the honor of marrying the youngest Mackenzie.

Lord Weston was nineteen years Anastasia’s senior, making him thirty-six at the time of their marriage. He was a kind and gentle man, expecting nothing but companionship from the girl.

In the long line of Westons, it was common for a man to die at a relatively young age. They often grew very tired very quickly, and were usually in a great deal of pain. Once infection set in, there would not be much time left.

George was no exception, and he knew that.

So, all he wanted was a companion to live out the rest of his days. He did not wish for heirs, for to produce an heir was to force upon them the same fate he would suffer. Half of his fortune would be inherited by a cousin on his mother’s side, one with heirs who would live until he was old and grey. The other half would remain with his wife.

And for which, he desired was a kind, honorable young lady whom he could spoil and make happy in his final days.

A young lady like Anastasia.

At first, he approached Lord Mackenzie with the proposal. He laid every detail out, specifying that he would seek neither a dowry nor heirs from his daughter in exchange for a few years of bliss before his time was up. Once the men were in agreement, it was explained to all of the Mackenzie children, who were under direct instruction to never speak of it to anyone else.

It was a hard secret to keep, but especially hard to keep from her dearest friend in the world.

“I cannot fathom actually being engaged at our age,” Eloise snorted.

“Eloise,” Lady Bridgerton sighed at her daughter’s noise. “Please at least try to be ladylike for once.”

“Please, Mama,” Eloise replied. “It is only my siblings and Anastasia.”

Her mother waved her hand and moved on.

“That is why I came to visit you today, El,” Anastasia said, wringing her hands. “I am engaged.”

Upon hearing the statement, Benedict began listening in on the conversation between his sister and his friend.

“Pardon?” Eloise deadpanned.

“I am engaged,” Anastasia repeated.

“To whom? When? Why?” Eloise fired.

“To Lord Weston, last night. And we are engaged because he will provide for me. He will take care of me for the rest of my days.”

“Surely you are not in love with him,” Eloise gasped.

“I am not,” Anastasia confirmed. “But I do believe I will grow fond of him.”

“Doomed to a life of fondness,” Eloise muttered. “Well, congratulations, my friend. I am happy for you if you believe you will be happy.”

“Happy about what?” Lady Bridgerton asked, only catching the end of the sentence.

“Anastasia is to be married,” Eloise said.

“Congratulations my dear!”

As he watched his family congratulate their close friend, Benedict felt his world turn upside down at the fact that the girl he loved was betrothed to another.

However, the few years Lord Weston was hoping to have turned into a few months, for he fell ill not six months after his marriage to Anastasia. And she was with him to the bitter end.

Anastasia sat in the same chair she had taken residence in for two entire weeks prior. She was at her husband’s bedside, keeping him occupied with books and art.

“Anastasia,” George croaked, interrupting the sonnet she was reading.

“Yes, my lord?” she replied, glancing up.

“I am dying,” he said. “My final days are coming, and I do not wish you to witness that.”

She placed a gentle hand on his. “I made a vow to you, and I intend to see that through.”

“I do not deserve your kindness,” he whispered.

“You have been nothing short of the perfect husband, George,” she said. “The months we have spent together, however few, have been the best of my life. I do not deserve your kindness, sir.”

“You deserve the world,” he insisted. “I do believe I have become quite fond of you.”

“And I you.”

He took his last breath three days later, his teary wife at his side. Upon his death, his cousin took over his estate and Anastasia returned to London to live with her family.

-o-o-o-o-o-

so there it is. a bit of backstory, a bit of introduction. very VERY roughly edited. i have much more coming but this just gets it going. let me know what you think if you have a spare moment! next part will either be coming tonight or tomorrow. much love x

[padawanlost]

Hey! I was wondering, how much power did Palpatine have over the Jedi before episode 2? And how much power did he get over them after the emergency powers? I always hear arguments about how the Jedi tried to fix/do things (even before Ep 2), but weren't allowed to so couldn't. Like, for example letting Palpatine have access to Anakin. It's never really sat right with me, and seems like making excuses, but I'm unsure. Sorry if this is worded weird!

Hey! Short answer is no. The fandom in the last couple of years created this twisted narrative that no one had control over anything but Palpatine. and that’s simply not the case. I don’t know how it became so widespread, considering this particular trend started with people trying to justify slavery, child abuse and corruption. Regardless, it’s revisionist history. If you pay attention to the arguments you’ll notice they are not backed by sources, it’s mostly something akin to ‘it’s not a war crime because *I* don’t believe it’s a war crime’.

Anyway, I won’t get into right now because I’m short on time so I’ll give you some *facts* and let you make your conclusions:

How much power the Palpatine had over the Jedi before episode 2?

It depends on what you mean by ‘power over’. It’s like asking how much power does your country’s president have over a police officer? They are bound by rank and authority but it’s not like the present have control over an individual’s personal choices. They had to follow the law, anything  beyond that was their own responsibility. 

According to the Republic’s law, the Jedi order operated under the Judicial Department. In turn, the Judicial Department was subordinated to the Chancellor’s office. However, the Jedi order had far more independence than the rest of the department, being able to chose which missions they would accept and how they would proceed. 

Though not formally bound by the Ruusan Reformations, the Jedi Order made fundamental changes as well. The Jedi gave up the bulk of their forces, from ground vehicles to warships and starfighters, and became part of the Judicial Department, reinforcing the fact that they answered to the Senate and were ideally counselors and advisers, not warriors. To decrease the chance that far-flung academies might stumble into dangerous explorations of the Force, Jedi training was consolidated in the Temple on Coruscant. And Jedi trainees would now be taken into the Order as infants, before they could be exposed to the temptations of the material world. [The new essential guide to warfare by jason fry]

Again, because the Order wasn’t an army at the time no one could *force* them do to anything, in terms of armed or even political action. To keep it short, being part of the Judicial Department didn’t put the Jedi Order in a position where they *HAD* to allow the Chancellor to spend some alone time with a 12 years old boy. That kind of rhetoric is, imo, pretty disgusting because it puts the blame of the all the abuse Anakin suffered on Palpatine’s shoulder and on his main victim who also happened to be a little boy at the time.

The Jedi Order had a choice.

Each time civilization threatened to topple into ruin, the Jedi faced a momentous decision: Did the Republic’s survival require the Order to intervene directly in its affairs? At various points in galactic history, the Jedi reluctantly decided such intervention was necessary. They stepped in to prevent the young Republic from annihilating the Tionese, plotted in secret to overthrow the Pius Dea chancellory, and served as chancellors while directly ruling large swaths of Republic territory in the chaotic centuries before Ruusan. Each time, the Order surrendered the powers it had assumed, returning to its guardian role. But as the Republic decayed and the Separatists gained strength, the Jedi began to once again debate whether a more activist role was required. By 22 BBY matters had reached a crisis point. This time it was the Supreme Chancellor himself who ASKED the Jedi to assume a new role: A powerful army awaited Republic command, but the Judicial Forces were ill prepared to lead them. Mindful that the Separatists were led by the Jedi apostate Count Dooku, the Jedi AGREED to lead the Grand Army to Geonosis in an attempt to short-circuit the Separatist threat. [The new essential guide to warfare by jason fry]

They had such independence from the Chancellor they felt justified in lying to his office and withholding information:

The Jedi Master rubbed a hand over his forehead and looked to Yoda, who sat with his eyes closed. Probably contemplating the same riddles as he was, Mace knew. And equally troubled, if not more so. “Blind we are, if the development of this clone army we could not see,” Yoda remarked. “I think it is time to inform the Senate that our ability to use the Force has diminished.” “Only the Dark Lords of the Sith know of our weakness,” Yoda replied. “If informed the Senate is, multiply our adversaries will.” For the two Jedi Masters, this surprising development was troubling on several different levels. [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

To make that even clearer, we have the Naboo crisis where Qui-Gon and Obi-wan’s involvement was the result of the Chancellor personally *requesting* the Council to investigate the situation.

“Under normal circumstances, the Council wouldn’t have subverted the authority of the Senate by honoring Valorum’s request to send Jedi to Naboo. But for Yoda, Mace Windu, and the rest, Valorum is a known quantity, whereas Senators Antilles and Teem and you have yet to disclose your true agendas. Take you, for instance. Most are aware that you are a career politician, and that you’ve managed thus far to avoid imbroglios. But what does anyone know about you beyond your voting record, or the fact that you reside in Five Hundred Republica? We all think that there’s much more to you than meets the eye, as it were; something about you that has yet to be uncovered.” Instead of speaking directly to Dooku’s point, Palpatine said, “I was as surprised as anyone to learn that Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Kenobi were sent to Naboo.” [James Luceno. Darth Plagueis]

If the Chancellor’s office, ddin’t have the power to force the Jedi Order into accepting a slave army, preventing a planetary invison or turning themselves into soldiers I highly doubt they would have the power to force them to give up a child a few hours a week. It doesn’t make any sense.

Here what the lore has to say about how the Jedi viewed Anakin’s relationship with the Chancellor. 

Sate Pestage showed Obi-Wan Kenobi and his young Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, into Palpatine’s temporary office in the Senate Building. Both Jedi were wearing light-colored tunics, brown robes, and tall boots. Facsimiles of each other. “Thank you both for accepting my invitation,” Palpatine said, coming out from behind a broad, burnished desk to welcome them. “Sit please, both of you,” he added, gesturing to chairs that faced the desk and the large window behind it. [James Luceno. Darth Plagueis]

Yoda stared at the floor, both hands grasping his gimer stick. There was no easy answer to that. Yes, he was concerned by Palpatine’s attachment to the boy. No matter how well-meaning, no matter how genuine and heartfelt, the Supreme Chancellor’s care for Obi-Wan’s apprentice was problematic. The root cause of all young Skywalker’s difficulties was his need for emotional connections. His friendship with Palpatine only complicated matters. But the man was Supreme Chancellor. And he meant well. Sometimes politics had to take precedence.[Karen Miller. Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space]

I would think that Anakin’s friendship with Palpatine could be of use to us in this—he has the kind of access to Palpatine that other Jedi might only dream of. Their friendship is an asset, not a danger.” [Obi-wan Kenobi in Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

As for this comic, it’s not part of the original lore but I’ve talked about it in detail here if you’re interested. But the gist remains, the had a choice and saying the jedi shouldn’t have done anything more to protect Anakin is a pretty gross take. Anyway, I don’t know about you but this doesn’t read to me like ‘we tried everything we could to keep this child away from Palpatine’. 

Because I know people will twist this into ‘ShE haTeS thE jeDi’ allow me to clarify that this, all of this, is a good thing. It shows the Jedi had free will to make choices and the fact the made mistakes is what makes them such human, relatable characters. Also, it fits perfectly with the themes George set out to explore. 

The prequel trilogy is based on a back-story outline Lucas created in the mid-1970s for the original three “Star Wars” movies, so the themes percolated out of the Vietnam War and the Nixon-Watergate era, he said. Lucas began researching how democracies can turn into dictatorships with full consent of the electorate. In ancient Rome, “why did the senate after killing Caesar turn around and give the government to his nephew?” Lucas said. “Why did France after they got rid of the king and that whole system turn around and give it to Napoleon? It’s the same thing with Germany and Hitler. "You sort of see these recurring themes where a democracy turns itself into a dictatorship, and it always seems to happen kind of in the same way, with the same kinds of issues, and threats from the outside, needing more control. A democratic body, a senate, not being able to function properly because everybody’s squabbling, there’s corruption.”

The story being told in ‘Star Wars’ is a classic one. Every few hundred years, the story is retold because we have a tendency to do the same things over and over again. Power corrupts, and when you’re in charge, you start doing things that you think are right, but they’re actually not.” George Lucas

“All of these things that are wrapped up in Ahsoka’s story, which ultimately make her realize what the audience realizes. “I love the Jedi Order. They’re very important to me, I’ve always respected them. But there’s something wrong here, and I need to walk away from it to assess it.” It all feeds into Revenge of the Sith when the chancellor says, “The Jedi have just made an attempt on my life.” When you see these four episodes, I think you have a better understanding of how he gets away with all of that, because you see how compromised the Jedi Council is.” Dave Filoni

Because on a certain level, you have to accept that the Jedi lose the Clone War. So there is something that they’re doing that’s wrong.” Dave Filoni 

Holding the jedi accountable for their actions is not about hating them, is about recognizing the story George was trying to tell with these human characters and their very, very human flaws. Saying they should’ve done more to help Anakin, the slaves or the clones is not the same as saying they are as evil as Palpatine or simply bad people. Heroes makes mistakes, and the Jedi mistakes don’t make their actions less heroic or their deaths less tragic. The same way that Anakin’s crimes as Vader doesn’t erase the good he did as Anakin. if we can admit Anakin killed a lot of innocents *AND* that he was a great master to Ahsoka, I really can’t understand why some fans have such hard time accepting the same is true for all the characters. We all make shitty choices sometimes but that doesn’t necessarily makes shitty people. that truth, that very human truth is at the core of this issue.  Same people can accept this, others can’t.