#and as per me always this was actually not a parallel on my list from first listen this is brand new to me making other parallels and ??

[ilostyou]

taylor x gracie parallels - part 3/?

[absolutebl]

54 BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

Here if you list of BLs announced for 2023 that didn't happen and for which I have no word on whether they'll release in 2024 instead.

I've put the ones I really regret didn't get made in bold.

If they actually happened and I just missed it please let me know in a comment with the place you watched it. Thanks!

Organized by country!

Cambodia

My Croissant

trailer - announced 4/2023

China

Couple or Not

From Durian Culture Production this was suposed to be an A/B/O. Gui Ming who swaps consciousness with himself in a parallel universe. In that universe he is married to his rival Shi Youtian.

Desire the series

Another one that was supposed to be A/B/O The story of Bai Lan, a young man who wants Mr. Shen, a proud alpha, to be his omega. According to the casting announcement ‘Desire’ will consist of 24 episodes with 45 minutes runtime per episode.

Japan

Boys Love Omegaverse (Boys Love Sequel)

Announced for 6/9/2023 but never aired. This seems to just be borrowing the branding and have nothing to do with either BL originals since it's about 4 men in an idol group.

Given the series (remake)

Fuji TV announced and episodic series focuses on Ritsuka as he rediscovers his love for music thanks to Mafuyu. Given the Movie focused on their bandmates, Akihiko-Haruki, and their tumultuous relationship. The storyline for this second film involves Ritsuka temporarily joining Hiiragi and Shizusumi’s band, and the tension that brings to his new relationship with Mafuyu. It will also delve into the relationship between Hiiragi and Shizusumi.

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa

remake of the first movie

Korea

Blueming 2 AKA Blueming Season 2

This was one of my favorites from 2022 year (9/10). I’m not thrilled about this. It’s the same director as TMS2, and I didn’t like that one all that much either. Still, I’m always intersted in where Korea goes when it’s given enough rope to hang itself.

Choco Milk Shake 2

Strongberry

First Love's User Manual (TutorYim) Silkwood (Peach Of Time)

Heesu In Class 2

was to air 2023 03.02

Korea's gay version of Sex Education. Heesu’s world revolves around Chanyoung, his best friend and secret crush. He doesn’t mind cheering Chanyoung from the sidelines or listening to all his girl problems. He doesn’t care if people only know him as “Chanyoung’s friend.” Then one day, Heesu starts hearing his name everywhere. On the bus, in the halls, during lunch… Turns out, there’s a rumor going around school (Got a love problem? Find Heesu in Class 2 and he’ll tell you what to do!) and with that, Heesu suddenly finds himself the center of attention. But how could he give anyone advice? He doesn’t even know what to do about his own crush!

Jump the series

From SOL Entertainment (producers of Cherry Blossoms and others) for Gaga. Coming-of-age drama that 'jumps' to the next chapters of life: love, friendship, competition, mistakes, dreams and hopes.

Love Supremacy Zone

Best on a novel and 29 year old man wakes up in a 19 year old's body and has to make his friend happy or die

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (JeffBarcode)

Silkwood and Be On Cloud partnered for this. ‘Wuju Bakery’ was originally scheduled to be released in 2024, but changes in the production house’ schedule showed that it would air sooner in November 2023, and then it didn't. The drama stars Thai actors Jeff Satur and Barcode Tinnasit and Korean actors Dion and Jun In-Kyu (Q) About a spaceship that crash-lands into and destroys a bakery shop. Of course this means the alien and the baker end up living together. At the same time, other aliens-in-hiding all around the city start hunting for them. One of my most anticipated BLs. It sounds SO WEIRD.

Taiwan

First Note Of Love

Was casting 5/2023. About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan

Pray in Love

From SoulChill (the producers of Innocent) the illegitimate son of a mafia family and his policeman boyfriend who's lives get upended when one has an arranged marriage and the other a promotion.

The Only One

Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, high school set stepbrothers trope!

Wishing Upon The Shooting Stars

Reunion country set romances from director Ryan Jiang: My Tooth Your Love, and WBL.

Thailand

2 Worlds (MaxNat)

Domundi announced parallel worlds love triangle story with MaxNat as the leads (finally!) PuPa & Kram are in love but PuPa is murdered and Kram is pulled into a parallel world. In that place, 12 years ago, Kram & Tai were in love but Kram was killed by Tai's dad. Now Tai encounters the Kram from another world, what will happen next? Is this a second chance or is Kram sill morning his dead lover, and does Tai need to help him get home or convince him to stay?

4 Minutes (BibleBuild)

Be On Cloud announced original story written by Sammon (Manner of Death/Triage) especially for them… described as a ‘bitter’ drama. When asked if there are many love scenes, Bible said yes! It was planned for the 4th quarter of 2023. Didn't happen.

7 Times 4 Days

Arton A Bangkoks The story of ‘Won’ a 27-year-old Korean teacher who travels to Thailand on an exchange program. Stays with his mother’s friend who has an 18 year old high schoolson.They get closer.

Acadex

Star Hunter announced this may bot be bl? The Eclipse + Destiny Seeker + Harry Potter 4 + The CW.

After Sundown (ZeeNew)

Mandee announced for 7/15/2023 Phra Plerng and Rawee enter into an arranged marriage. The two have to solve mysteries according to the scholars’ prophecy, but the twist is, if 6 months passes and their relationship hasn’t progressed, Rawee will have to break the engagement immediately.

Big Dragon 2 the movie (concludes the series)

Star Hunter announced.

Boy Never Smiles (KimCop)

Follows the story of a young man who travels to the future. To return, he must make that boy smile.

Boyy of God

announced for 11/2023 about the lives and loves of a group of Christian boys that play together on a water polo team.

Chiang Mai Adventures From Wayufilm for subscribers only, a travel romance. Aired as a film on YT here.

Cinderella Boys

From Cloth Lab who brought us Restated (which I never watched and never got EngSub).

Close Friend 3 Soju Bomb

sampler pack VIU ? new cast from seasons 1 & 2 group of friends who traveled to Korea with dreams of becoming idols. Unfortunately, they don’t debut, so they invite each other to get drunk before they return to Thailand. during this night, several events transpire that change the course of their friendships

Deep Night

MCOTHD30 was casting this 4/2023

Flirt Milk

Star Hunter announced this Y-novel adaptation standard pop fodder, but they are cute. One boy accuses another of breaking up his relationship to pursue his gf, but it's not the gf the boy was into.

Friend. Boyfriend

The series depicts Aum and Nack who are best friends and co-workers at a bar. Their personalities are very different, one is quiet and caring, the other is a laid back playboy. Mew is a newly recruited staff member at the bar, he is good looking, talkative and it doesn’t take long for him to grab the attention of Nack. This creates tensions at the workplace as Aum realizes he has more than platonic feelings for Nack, forcing Nack to choose between the two.

Future From Me

Was casting 5/2023 One boy secretly in love with another since middle school.

Heart by Heart

Half Toast Production adaptation of the y-novel of the same name, the trailers are GOOD. I’m more excited for this one then I thought I'd be. Has a bit of Tasty Florida, bad boy/good boy, high drama going on.

Hot Bamee and Yummy Gyogung

9Cats Studio was to brign us this starring Nutt Witsarut (Daisy from SCOY) as Gyogung & Boat Yongyut (Tim from My Secret Love) as Bamee.

Lost in the Woods

Fifa, a high school student preparing to enter university, is given the duty of taking care of his grandma in the province before the school year starts. There he meets Chief Hem, a forest ranger.

Love Puzzle AKA Plengrak AKA Pleng Prai Love Puzzle

From KOB Entertainment set in the same universe as Chains of Heart (SIGH). BUT Noh Phouluang is in this so you know I will watch it but it looks like it'll be a hot MESS. A new exchange student has a one night stand on the night of his arrival, turns out the boy is a senior in his new uni department.

Love Syndrome – The Beginning prequel

Tells how the couples from Love Syndrome met originally.

Mystique in the Mirror

Side couple is PitchBank from Golden Blood, authored by Dr. Dr.Patrick Rangsimat (My Ride) interview here.

Nilundon

Announced for 12.29.2023 didn't air. Postponed from 2021 to recast one of the leads, never a good sign.

Punk Spy

Domundi trying out Tommy (formerly JimmyTommy) to star opposite Thomas Teetut (new talent). OMG are we gona call them TomTom? Please people. Please? Small town romance of two people who keep secrets. And they are searching for the truth. Poppy (everyone’s favorite comedic character actor) is in this one too.

Rule No.1: Don't Be too Emotional

Oxin brings us a Korean novel (by Hwang Seol!) adaptation, freshman realized his senior is hiding dark secrets. Was casting 4/2023

Sunset Vibes

Star Hunter reusing the Big Dragon pair as a one night stand but uh-oh he’s my boss, adapted from a web series! I’m game. Trailer here.

The Chinese Family (working title)

GDH to star Billkin of ITSAY

The D Project (working title)

GDH to star PP Krit of ITSAY

The Internship

This Wayufilm short film was set to premiere in June 2023 on their YouTube Channel. The storyline follows an intern who encounters a ghost at his workplace.

The Outing Series (Max Nattapol & TopTap)

BL sub plot within a story of 3 families that manage a top advertising agency. Anan, Phupha & Taurus take their families & close employees for an annual outing at a resort. There, the dark secrets of 22 people with different views on love and relationships are revealed.

True Moon

Star Hunter to do yet another loosely disguised attempt at the 2 Moon franchise? Trailer here.

Two Worlds (MaxNat)

Lakorn style, Phupha and Khram love each other but later Phupha is murdered. However, something happens and Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Thai were in love. However, Khram was killed by Thai’s dad.

Waterboyy 3 AKA Waterboys (KaownahTurbo)

not a remake. Why do they not cast Est Supha in one of these? That's the real quetion. Ram, a young fisherman from the country after he gets accepted into the most prestigious swimming academy in the country. Ram has a hard time fitting in with the high society students that populate the school because he didn’t grow up in a life of privilege. Luckily he has Q to protect him during these trying times.

Wish Me Luck

Be Brave Entertainment Hub to produce this BL about a boss and his temporary employee in an advertising company, based on Bittersweet's y-novel of the same name สุดที่รักษ์. Starring my boy Fiat (Grean Fictions, SOTUS S, My Gear and Your Gown, Triage) who I’ve been waiting to lead a BL for a decade (it feels like) and Na Naphat (KinnPorsche, UWMA). Trailer here.

Wish You Luck

StudioCommuan Sci Fi dystopian BL about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent. Trailer here.

Y-Moment

Mflow consortium piece of some kind.

(source)

Okay that's it. I won't be updating this I don't think, so make sure to comment with any corrections.

[intertexts]

goodevening I am no longer in the car and while I was in the car I was thinking about new haven wards so I'm invading your inbox. I mean. mostly just about interpersonal dynamics and not power things so technically this is just thinking about pd. but in the context of worm world.

uhmmmmm sitting in the wards base. I think they spend. all of their time out of costume there. none of them really have. family to go home to (with the exception of . william and ashe but I don't imagine they exactly WANT to spend time at home. considering.) so they spenddd all day every day out of costume with each other. i think william and dakota were paired together first and they just naturally clicked with each other right away because they balanced out each other's energy pretty well. hence the extreme codependency qpr. then vycnent joined and he was a little prickly at first bc he didn't rlly know the city or what he was doing there or what his powers were and maybe he already had a habit of distancing himself from people due to the nature of his powers. but obv he comes around eventually and william has his gay little crush and here they are sitting smushed together in the same arm chair watching a movie on the big tv together. dakota is snoring honk shoo style. then WAYYY later ashe joins and william is the prickly petty one. dakota takes to him rlly fast just bc dakota loves everyone very loudly and easily. vyncent took a little longer but appreciated ashes chill personality so clicked with that pretty quickly. william had a one sided rivalry with ashe for a little bit and didn't trust him. however now they are ride or die emos and will parallel play by sitting leaning on each other back to back on the couch doing completely separate activities and not speaking to each other. the new haven wards literally always have to be touching each other in some capacity when out of costume amazon listing do not separate they have SUCH BAD separation anxiety please

also side note about wibby I have some Thoughts about why his last name is bell and not wisp and I'm going to keep this simple and spoiler free but just know there is MORE to this. eventually. i think it's because. grew up in the worm equivalent of deadwood which is a rlly small town in the middle of nowhere which means it doesn't rlly have a strong Cape Presence. so after his trigger event and his family finding out abt his powers (bc i think they Would) his parents push him to join the wards in new haven, because his older brother david already lives there, so he can just go live with david !! easier to separate his hero identity from his parents who he loves if he changes his last name to the same as the brother he's living with in the city. smile. not going to get too into that rn

side note SIDE NOTE bc I just read about them again. do u think wibby retains some subconscious knowledge about the . extra dimensional trigger event being. I dont think he would Remember it per se but. maybe he gets really weird recurring nightmares about it sometimes. and doesn't think anything of it bc it's just SO weird and incomprehensible. this stance may change once I read abt what those things actually ARE but for now. I like to make my favorite characters suffer <3 NO WAIT MAYBE ITS DAKOTA WITH HIS CANON NIGHTMARES. IDK. YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN ME. WHY CAN MISS MILITIA REMEMBER THEM >:|

NEW HAVEN WARDS... SAVE ME NEW HAVEN WARDS.... ok. under the cut so this doesnt get a mile longer 3

ILL OVER THEM!!!!! DO NOT SEPARATE!!! which means of course i have been thinking so hard about all of the reasons 2 separate them & make them miserable. it's gotta suck also being in school right?? since that's iirc a prerequisite of the wards. and the prt would Not be happy with "three distinctive looking clingy ass teenagers in the school everyone knows the wards go to who look exactly like the wards on tv." lmaoo. high school hell Has to stay its so necessary <33 also. i have many many many thoughts on vyncent & how he grew up & his relationship to both his power & parahumans in general but we will get into that once we also get into wibby!!!!

but. yeah. usually when i think of other media in worm lens i immediately go "alright how can i make this dynamic as unpleasant as possible..." it's honestly really fun 2 Not be doing that & instead just putting them all through the blender in various ways. i mean. they still have a fucking insane dynamic at least one of them has to have brutalized some minor thug for hurting someone i think. it's so fun thinking abt how that desperate extreme codependency translates to on shift where their job is throwing themselves into the meat grinder & getting hurt & shit.

IM. SO EXCITED FOR BELL SHIT. im so hyped. love this i'm sure william living with his brother!! ^_^ is incredibly unpleasant and a miserable experience for some fucking reason i will find out. yayyy <3

i thiiiiink. out of all of them. yeah. wibby would be most likely to be fixated on his trigger event. for sure <33 and also he has an insane memory! even if he didn't specifically remember it i think he would maybe know something. dakota still has nightmares but theyre just normal nightmares :-) several orders of magnitude worse though. of course. also HEYHEYHEY now u know my guys my best friends my rotten cheeses the slaughterhouse nine!!! u unlock [NH WARDS NOTE 1] !! which is. i think dakota's parents would have been killed via being victims of the s9 coming to town ^_^ this will be immediately worse for you after u read some more worm tomorrow!! anyway. anyway. 130 am for mee good NIGHT i loove them i love this dynamic so much thabk u. mac ghostiezone wards in my inbox u know its gonna b a good day!!!

[48787]

I am literally always correct about media

Three episodes into Bravern.

I saw the first episode, not even, the first fucking MOMENT it said "This is a training exercise" I knew, I fucking KNEW, I was in for the Evangelion Rebuild 0.00 You Do (Not) Want To Watch Evangelion experience. And my Brothers in Shinji Ikari's goop, I'm ignoring that parenthetical because thesis never exist in the first place, and parents never exist in the first place, it's all just the complete and constant Holy Trinity of living in the present for the present. And oh boy that Angel sure is Cruel.

If you don't think I'm speaking "Truth" you need to realize two things about me:

1. I've seen footage. They've shown us so much, and broke show-don't-tell DELIBERATELY multiple times to address the immediate concern that the audience should be asking IMMEDIATELY if they've seen the same footage as well (Like how it obviously has a 1 to 1 Evangelion LCL bit but it's green and referenced as "From The Abyss" doing that absolutely devilish charm of manipulating by never telling lies, only different truths, further proven by "Wait how do you know about that?" Or how the outro is clearly on a stage but then it almost tears or blurs into stars. You fuckers remember MyHouse.wad right?? You know this shit means something, right??) Or the invocation of very very very specific tropes followed by another very very very specific trope, or the deliberate subversion of trope followed by a character deliberately trying to force the trope out of subversion into genuinity. Many such cases, too many to list. I've just seen footage and I don't know how people don't see the fucking massive amount of narrative foils-per-minute, both within the show and connecting outside the show. The Evangelion shit is easy, it goes far deeper than that. (A good example is how they were clearly invoking starship troopers-y Earth patriotism and then subverted SST by the mixing of genders in a changing room seeming awkward and like it's not supposed to happen but happening anyway to form an extremely subtle juxtaposition.)

2. I stay noided. Every fucking subtle change of the framing device, of a characters features (Like in the outro alongside choice moments in the show, similar to the effect Cyberpunk Edgerunners that I can first remember coming from Evangelion), the minor moments of nonfalsifiability, the constant IN CHARACTER "Don't think about it just do it my way and it'll be okay" explanations that only rhetoric-obsessed mentally ill person like me would understand (Followed by things that only make sense if you knew what to look for), the fact that the intros and outros are literal propaganda that the audience WANTS to buy into (I believe representing the passion the fucking love hypercube evokes and each member experiences uniquely), the consistency of certain stylistic choices (Like conflating the stars and crosses to focus on Evangelion just a little more), the deliberate choice to use an entirely new stylistic transition or in between just to pretend like it wasn't anything important at all, it all MUST have meaning. The whole POINT is the power of inspiration and the neutrality of power being two coexisting ideas. The clothing metaphors, the masking metaphors, the gay metaphors that form subtle trans metaphors that form certain asexual-aromantic-agender metaphors, the literal fucking AT fields that are broken by vulnerability. Lewis (The current parallel to Bravern) loses but chooses what's cool so he can try it better next. Ishami (The current parallel to Lulu.. not Vi Brittania I swear, absolutely zero connection at all, tooooootally) is more "serious" but far more vulnerable and has his masks broken down.

They're fucking in a love triangle but tricked you it's actually a fucking square that's been folded so the corners are touching. Which corners are touching which? Good question asshole, it's all of them.

Someone thought "the MegOp ship is pretty cool. If they weren't around would it be Hotrod/Rodimus and Soundwave instead? They are kind of thematic opposites to both their normal foils anyway." and then made a whole show about that after everyone who ever heard that either didn't see enough footage or couldn't stay noided long enough to realize what a genius they were. And since no one understood just how much context builds up to even being able to think that in the first place, they just made the perfect show about manufacturing consent. For what? Literally anything and everything, including nothing.

I know exactly how fucked up the polycule formed when a mortal dares to ask "What if the three parts of the Holy Trinity, like, kissed and fucked and made out?" would be because I dare to ask it constantly, I am living it, we all are. It's the Divine Comedy, it is hell, it is chicken it is eggs it is in between your legs (10 points if you've seen enough footage to get this), and above all else it's hot as fuck and makes me want to never give up and live forever, no matter who you are no matter what you love doing.

I love this fucking show, I can't wait to finish it so I can be proven right on all accounts.

Y'all dumb motherfuckers keep refusing to understand Evangelion, your hubris makes you think you're somehow above Shinji, that you'd be different if you were put in his shoes. And that will always mean people like Lulu and Bravern will always exploit you for the love of doing it.

I have so many thoughts about this show and they're all right and if you think a single one of them is wrong you will literally be proven wrong because I will always be right, in time and out of time.

Maybe the next post or two will be more coherent since I'm taking a break, but I should actually finish the show first so I can gloat even harder about being objectively correct about everything in the universe ever.

[phantom-kitten]

tagged by @bloody-fate to play! tagging @ahdor, @daenerys-targaryen, and @vitri0l if they’d like to join.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ <3 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Do you make your bed?

I do not make it per se, but I do tidy it up a bit.

Fave number?

since learning about lucky/unlucky things in childhood, my favorite number has been 13. I did adopt two other favorite numbers, my childhood friend Alex’s number is 19 and my brother-in-law’s is 22 and somehow those became equally as important to me.

What’s your job?

each day I take approximately 40 phone calls from grieving families seeking to claim the funds belonging to their deceased loved one. I work with executors, beneficiaries, widows, lawyers, trustees, and talk about death and forms and money all day. truly though, I love it.

Go back to school?

one day I will finally bite the bullet and go to mortuary school. there are so few around the country anymore which makes it difficult to just do it; it’ll involve a lot of logistical work and possibly a move to make it happen. I think about it all the time and it’s the only thing I want other than being a working musician.

Can you parallel park?

I’m so excellent at parallel parking that it’s a fault. on more than one occasion, I have gotten myself into a spot so snugly that I cannot get out.

Job you had that would surprise people?

I was the assistant manager of a gym and it was so blatantly out of character for me that even my coworkers were in on the joke. I didn’t know how to work any of the equipment and I’ve never worked out before, so I’d just mind my business and do my own thing and it was actually really fun until management changed.

Aliens real?

yes, of course, it’s not even a question for me. I’ve always believed in the unknown: aliens, ghosts, cryptids. there is so much more out there than we are readily aware of or have “proof” of.

Can you drive stick?

no, and I don’t particularly have an interest in learning.

Guilty pleasure?

no guilty, just pleasure.

Tattoos?

twenty! with appointments for more! started the day after my 18th birthday and I love all of them so much, even the damn infinity sign/anchor combo on my wrist.

Fave color?

my favorite color comes in eras. I loved the purple years, green was fun for a bit, but my favorite color right now is yellow. I looooooove yellow.

Fave type of music?

that is possibly one of the most difficult questions and I do not have an answer, whoops

Do you like puzzles?

I heart puzzles very much. my mother would put together 1,000 piece charles wysocki puzzles - always only charles wysocki - when I was a child and I started helping. as the puzzle of the moment sat completed on the coffee table for the next couple weeks, I’d disassemble and reassemble portions until I was putting full puzzles together myself. now I have my own collection of charles wysocki puzzles and my mom got me a wooden puzzle table for my apartment last christmas.

I also really love word puzzles of all kinds, as well as logic puzzles.

Phobias?

eep, I am scared of the dark and the deep ocean.

Favorite childhood sport?

childhood sport? you’ve got the wrong girl. aside from t-ball from ages 5-7 or so, I have never played a sport. No basketball, no baseball, no soccer, got Cs in gym class.

Talk to yourself?

I am my favorite friend, I stay talking to myself at all times.

Movies you adore?

I have! too many! to list! first to come to mind: like crazy, eternal sunshine, I used to go here, thoroughbreds, promising young woman, shiva baby, it follows, oculus, elizabethtown, garden state

Coffee or Tea?

I like green tea but I love a macchiato or latte more.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up?

musician or actress, duh.

[note-boom]

I'm curious, who are your favourite bsd characters ?

Oh, thank you for the ask, Anon! And my fave bsd characters, huh?

Man...I have absolutely no idea because it changes based on my mood and which arc I'm currently screaming my head off over AND what characters suddenly decide to be deeper than they actually are in my head. But to be concise, why don't I just give a run down for favourite character(s) per group? And uh...buckle up cause I'm gonna ramble as I usually do.

Lengthily

ADA - Fukuzawa, Kyouka, Atsushi, Kunikida, Yosano....I'm gonna stop now before I start listing them all.

To be honest, if I had to pick one out of all of them, it would currently be Kyouka. I just....*hugs her tight* I love how her arc is basically like a mini light novel within canon. I love how her arc isn't completed when she joins the light side and manages to pass the entrance exam but when she finds out the truth about her ability and her parents because it's such a GOOD narrative callback to where her story started. You think her story began with the PM and Akutagawa and ended in saving the ADA and Atsushi, right? But no...those were just very important parts of her journey. Her story begun when she lost her parents and became burdened with something out of control that seemed only good to kill...and ended when Kouyou (who had taken her in after that loss) let her go and took steps to reveal that this cursed "only good for killing ability" that Kyouka had was her mother's last expression of love. Kyouka thought her ability killed her parents but instead it was a result of a love for their daughter that didn't die with them and I just go INSANE thinking about the cyclical nature of it all. Blah blah blah tragedies may be repeated but you know what's also repeated and what also lasts? A parent's love for their child.

Probably also why I love Fukuzawa. Something about middle aged characters who find themselves becoming the parent of one child and suddenly finding they can't stop adopting kids.

But lest I get carried away, I'll let the other three speak for themselves

PM - Chuuya, Akutagawa, Gin, Hirotsu, Odasaku...stopping myself again

I actually don't have a current favourite but man, I tell you, Anon. I was hoodwinked and bribed and dragged into loving Chuuya. My reaction from the anime and its adaptation of fifteen was, "oh, cool, that's EPIC....but can we get back to the present?" Then I read a quick summary of his backstory somewhere and just....yeah.

Akutagawa and Gin I just have soft spots for, even though we barely know anything about the latter (part of me believes there HAS to be a light novel about the Black Lizards set somewhere between the beginning of canon and the doa arc because look at how close Tachi and Gin and Hirotsu somehow became??? Like when did that happen???). Also, Akutagawa is my pathetic, sad, feral, unhinged bloodthirsty boy who cares so much but has always been told he doesn't. It's the tragedy that he cares about Gin, that he did care to some degree about Atsushi and Kyouka, but that for some reason...he believes that the only thing he does care about is Dazai's approval (which is more of an obsession), which is EXCELLENT but also heartbreaking

I think Hirotsu's sort of the same with Fukuzawa. Older characters who find they have teenagers under their custody (first, Chuuya and Dazai...now the Black Lizards...the man just does not get a break)

And Oda.....is self explanatory, too. Haunts the narrative, haunts the characters, haunts the plot (you can't tell me the space time sword isn't a little bit of a call back to Flawless), haunts the meta-narrative....and also just was another tragic character that I think Dazai is trying to not make tragedy of, I don't know

Guild - Lucy (beloved, adored, precious), Poe (just as beloved, precious, adored, and raccoon owner), and Lovecraft

Come on you guys...how can I hate Lucy? How can I not love her? She's a narrative parallel or foil (however that's used...or both) to Atsushi but she's had to learn prematurely how to survive and struggle and think for herself and save her own skin. She's got one of the scariest spacial abilities in BSD because it combines both a pocket dimension and her own imagination (and I really want to see her and Akutagawa interact). I love LOVE for her so much that after the whole Guild business, she was just like "screw ability organisations" and went to work for a cafe BUT that she still can converse head on with people like Atsushi, Fukuzawa, Kyouka, and has zero fear of the government. She's Canadian (I think), she's got a cool ability, and I love her somehow simultaneously subtle but pretty obvious importance to the narrative (the queen in the chessboard)

Poe is basically similar. I just love his ability (I would misuse it SO much...that and Louisa's) and I love what a dramatic, violent theatre kid he is and envy his ability to focus on one project until it's completed and then move on like it didn't just consume months (or, in ranpo's case, years) of his time. And again his subtle but pretty obvious significance to the narrative (eyes covered, author in a manga of authors, like Lucy...he can help in all places)! It's kind of interesting to me how a lot of the western authors' abilities are a bit....off when it comes to their names. Poe's combines two of his stories, Lucy's makes her title slightly more dramatic, Fitzgerald just adds his name XDD. But that might be for copyright reasons, I have no idea how significant it could be.

As for Lovecraft? I find him relatable, that's all...all he wants to do is jump into the sea and sleep for a thousand years but accidentally got tied down by capitalism and I can hardcore relate.

Hunting Dogs - I like all of them, and yes even Fukuchi...but favourite is Tachihara no question. Pre-planned defector of the PM and managed to fool everyone more than Ango? I could ramble more about him but this is already getting really long....

DOA - I'll be honest with you guys....I still don't know much about them beyond the anime. But I am absurdly fond of Bram. Immortal vampire lord who also just wants to sleep and maybe listen to good tunes....yeah, mood.

And non-organisation/other characters? Aya, Mushitarou (technically, he was part of the Rats but that's a moot point), and Ango. I won't rant about them but just know they sometimes live rent free in my head...or, more like they cycle around in there like my brain's their vacation home

But I guess, currently, if I HAD to choose my top three out of all of them, it would be Kyouka, Mushitarou, and Poe

Now I'm done...

[rv2xlga]

another rant: not persona related for the first time i think lol

ok so im back to rant on here as per usual, this time on my sister's computer which is where i do most if not all my websiting and not on my phone which is when you know it is very serious!

ok so as the title suggests, this rant ISNT! about persona 5 as ive been playing kingdom hearts and its been on my list for many, many years but my other sister finally got us a ps4 in nov of 2022 after so very long of us wanting one with her fafsa money and i managed to finish final mix.. now! very productive and not adhd-pilled of me whatsoever (i say incredibly sarcastically) but anywho, i finally finished final mix, as i've stated before and am now playing re:chain and i absolutely hate kingdom hearts' combat because it is so god damn unnecessary and pointless and horrible! but the long time hyperfixation and yaoi grind is so serious which i did not know soriku was so heavy in the game lmfao, my poor girl kairi she deserves so much better omg ToT but that's a whole different, much bigger conversation rant for another day..

but enough with long ass stupid intros, as a long time riku fan seeing his character and just how the overall story has played out so far aside from the ridiculous ass writinggg, i've been really impressed ngl! it has a lot of potential that it actually reaches, again, aside from the horriddd writing, the plot and ending in particular was very similar to revolutionary girl utena which is like. absolute peak everything for me lmfao honestly i wouldn't be shocked if it was inspired by it cuz they are soo many similarities, i kept even pointing it out to my sis (who HASN'T watched it yet very unfortunately!) cuz im such a nerd lmao. and especially with riku, im very happy he's even IN the game first of all cuz compared to most of my other sillies... like rip to my girl akechi you deserved so much better.. but anywho anywho, i really love riku's character and everything his character represents ESP from what i've seen in the com gba ver which i don't know if that passes to re:com, which is the ver im playing but i really hope so cuz i've seen some clips and he is, ugh such an amazing character so yes. im going to deep dive here with revolutionary girl utena, specifically anthy and akio as my basis for most of this lmaosdbhh (rgu spoilers and kh too of course)

i know im very crazy with how i jump to conclusions and try to "analyze" characters and all that, even from as young as i can remember myself i've always thought like. wayy too much its honestly very embarrassing but there's personally a lot of similarities between akio and anthy's whole dynamic that reminds me of riku and diz and ansem, whatever that whole mess is. i know diz isn't essentially a villain from what i've heard and seen and searching more about it now to double check what i'd be saying on here isn't complete nonsense, i forget kingdom hearts is legit nonsense and i clearly do not know much to anything at all about diz and ansem and whatever tf is happening there omglj ToT but but i will try my very best and to differentiate, ill be calling the actual ansem diz and the ansem in final mix just ansem so its easier for everyone involved lol and again ill mostly be focusing on parallels of rgu to final mix but overall, talking mostly about riku (my baby :3) yayy!

its so crazy how the final mix plot went to me, again im actually just very shocked with kingdom hearts' storylines and stuff in general. i imagine not much thought was put behind it as the writing. speaks for itself but it is actual very nuanced and again, has a lot of potential it actually reaches or could reach which is like. gold mine for me! we know that in rgu, akio is very blatantly harassing and abusing anthy in all forms, even the people around her, succumbing to the abuse he had endured throughout all his life really giving him no purpose or real reason as we see and are made to imply in episode 39 and the last scene with anthy as she leaves the school, he has nothing to really back up why anthy should stay, as of course they never will be any real reason to it aside from the abusive cycle that they're in specifically he is stuck in, having to make it everyone else's problem from lack of growth and realization (which still doesn't excuse any of his horrid actions, but was practically impossible for him to do but that is a pretty bigger conversation for what we have here to discuss today). it reminds me a lot of ansem and his connection with riku, how he used riku's body and how ansem's "motive" is never really mentioned in final mix, not that much can really be deciphered with all that darkness-hearts talk anyway but you know. and mind you, i know there's a lot more lore that goes into ansem and the reason for his existence, him being a heartless and all, same with diz and the actual ansem so again, i won't be really going into how ansem and akio are similar as individuals but just as their roles in the respective main storyline of final mix (ive stated that way too much times by now, curse you adhd) riku's body being used as just another vessel to ansem and the "darkness" that was inside of him was only really possible because riku was an easily susceptible child, as children are obviously going to be, and ansem used this position of innocence and hashtag childlike wonder lol to be able to use him and manipulate him to do his bidding, essentially. even after everything, when sora is inside that egg (for reasons i havent yet to know!) which can parallel what happens to utena at the end of rgu, riku/anthy are still in the shadows of their abusers to even save their loved one, as unfortunate as it is. it is just like the door scene with riku and sora which is extremely similar to the rgu door scene (which is when all these similarities really hit me lol), both riku and anthy are inside the door or coffin or whatever the case and they are the ones that have to be saved but it ends up being the other way around as again, the abusive cycle is continuous and unfortunately, ever affecting but it is a very big part to break free from this cycle that you try to grow, into a better person as riku and anthy did. again, they were still connected to their abusers, each to their respective cases but they were actively seeking freedom by putting love first and not just romantic love, but love at all, in all of its forms (such a nuanced thing, lol no pun intended but yes i do love that topic very much) which is something abusers do not have, as someone who is currently in a situation like this, a lot can be said from personal experience.

i think it's interesting to view how riku viewed the "ansem in his heart" as just an amalgamation of fear and abuse of all those unfortunate things. the ansem that he was scared of, not diz/the real deal, was a lot more of a disgusting type of person, someone who was "darker, more foul" as the ansem he knew was a literal heartless being, literally. and diz was able to use this fear to his advantage by being insanely creeping and threatening to him (which is where we can see abusers are still human at the end of the day) when riku could've "choose between darkness and light" or he could've realized his specialness, in a much nicer more peaceful way lol and i don't just say that cuz the combat is awful or as jokes, i genuinely mean it. and in all that, that is the literal definition of abuse! same as what akio did and even with akio's character as his prince self and his present self, we are made to believe they are two different ppl bc of how much he gave into that abuse and let it consume him, he became a monster, someone completely different in his entirety (which i fucking love that btw). and again, i know that is not the case with ansem and diz because they are literally two different people but you can't argue the general ideas are similar and the nuisances/themes are and could be there, i think it works really well for an abuse allegory. using sora, what he held very dear as anthy did utena or just the general idea of a genuine love and connection for them both which is obviously what the care and love stems from, to get riku to do his bidding, changing riku by almost entirely just to discard him later and only focus on what really threatened his power, or abusive cycle in reality (cuz ik the ansem drama goes a lot more serious and family oriented and all that lol), which was sora and in akio's case, utena (by keeping them in "eternal slumbers" in the places that they are situated in or around/familiar with). even to the way that riku treats sora in final mix, which i know isn't really him but his sort of detachment to him is very similar to anthy and how she would treat utena. which really isn't just comphet but it is something much, much bigger than that that doesn't really involve utena much when you really look at it. it is a very general sort of detachment and indifference that comes with abuse i really wished more people talked about because abuse is not just some funny little joke or something to be easily looked over! for the love of god, i am ating at so many things rn good lord. but his detachment towards sora was just his brain numbing to the abuse, losing that sense of love and almost sanity and even humanity to look at it that way, just as what happened to anthy and her barely-any-sense-of personality. like unfortunately it's still riku and it was still him, even if very little but he was still there and what we were seeing there was just the abuse and manipulation taking him over or the abuser and abusive cycle taking them over just as what akio became due to his abusers and cycle, once again as it is continuous, and what ansem's literal existence was and meant. they were or had just become amalgamations of the "darkness" in ones' hearts, the bad things and i think the game like com itself showing that you are a mix of them both and you have to balance them both is very beautiful because yes, unfortunately you can never be truly cured even more so when it has affected you even from childhood, you have to just live with it but you can grow and be a better person because you are human and you have broken free from this cycle and have control over your own life. hopefully this makes sense, i really don't wanna come off any sort of way. writing this all makes me realize it is a very messy and nuanced topic even to describe it which.. makes me love it even more lol.

ima attach some lines here i got from this website online of a let's play lmfao cuz im lowkey losing my train here ugh, fuck adhd omg. but update while writing. i am currently rereading after like an hour and it kinda came back to me. sorry if the next paragraph is kinda random and already has some topics i have already introduced previously I REALLY DO HATE ADHD but i wouldn't be here without it would i now....

seeing more of the lines now, the words and nuisances of the things he says are genuinely soo abusive oml. there's just a lot of potential like i've stated so many times at this point, within the game. as someone with a few personality disorders, black and white morality is such a big issue with me and i feel like the whole darkness and light thing especially with how they handle it with riku can fit really well into that too. i headcanon riku with ocpd, something i have because i was really shocked with how much i resonated with his character and how much i see him struggling with that. him not being able to understand how him and sora and kairi could've came to one (agreement terms i mean, lord) and taking such drastic measures with everything and being so avoidant with the things around him, even with how he had such a want for a bigger worldwide and viewed himself as if he had so much more hopes and dreams compared to kairi and sora due to the simplicity of his innate thinking and again, took such drastic measures to achieve that and even prove it, even if it was mostly unwillingly, he was able to be easily manipulated because aside from being a child, his "larger worldview" was easy to crumble because it is just built on excessive thinking and the constant need for answers (which very much reflects perfection and obsessiveness that is the biggest issues with ocpd) which is very unstable because life isn't really like that and when you can't snap yourself into this realization or have no one else to really do it for you, trust me if you don't suffer through ocd or similar things like that yourself, it is difficult asf lemme tell you that. obsession doesn't really get you anywhere and that even goes into abuse and abusers' obsessions with whatever their "motives" are. it's strange because it doesn't really make any sense as their "motives" are never really real motives and can never really be described but that is just its nature because it is nonsensical and is just a result of overdrive and it kills, as simple as that.

ok so i have a lot more kingdom hearts related-thoughts and analyses aside from all my various other cringe, nerdy thoughts (we don't discuss the intrusive or sexual ones my friends) but i think i've ranted enough for today, another mid-way update but lost my train again, but this is the longest i've ever ranted for, definitely had to get it off my chest that's for sure lol. but aside from the ranting, i hope to use tumblr more, just to be on my own but i hope to post more doodles and art related shit on here as i hopefully figure out how to work my tumblr around and all that so it's easier to post from my phone and stuff without getting the computer and eventually losing all my energy :P yes, i will be cooking up rgu au for kingdom hearts like just doodles is what is to take from all this. sorry if it doesn't make much sense i tried my best fhfdshk

[college-girl199328]

For someone who complains a lot about snowflakes, Donald Trump seems pretty delicate. Per a Rolling Stone report, the former president was once so insecure about Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes that his administration tried to pressure Disney into censoring Jimmy Kimmel Live! On Monday night’s episode of his late-night talk show, Kimmel ripped into Trump, calling him “President Karen” and pointing out the ex-president’s hypocrisy.

According to Rolling Stone, Trump was so upset about Kimmel’s jokes in 2018 that Trump allegedly instructed his staffers at the White House to call Disney, ABC’s parent company, and told them to “rein in the…ABC host.” Per the report, at least two separate phone calls meant to “convey the severity of [Trump’s] fury with Kimmel to Disney” were made, and news of these phone calls apparently became the talk of Washington.

Naturally, Kimmel had an absolute field day with the news. “President Karen demanded to speak to my manager,” Kimmel quipped at the top of his Monday night monologue. “You’d think the guy who fathered Eric and Don Jr. would know how to handle jokes, but I guess not.”

Kimmel homed in on Trump’s narcissism, noting that the former president often relishes being the center of attention. “The first time Donald Trump ever tried to stop someone from talking about him on television, it was me,” said Kimmel. He then made an allusion to Trump paying off adult film star Stormy Daniels in 2016 as part of a settlement about their alleged 2006 sexual encounter. (Trump has denied having an affair with Daniels.) “Usually when he wants somebody to stop talking about him, he pays them $130,000,” Kimmel said, “but he wanted me to do it for nothing!”

Kimmel continued making fun of Trump for his “Trumper tantrum,” wondering aloud which joke of his pushed the former president’s buttons the most. “Maybe it was the time I had Stormy Daniels look at a plate of carrots and size them up, and she picked the little one,” he said. He then launched into a list of practically every nickname he has used for Trump on the show, including but not limited to “Tan’y Soprano,” “Mar a Lardo,” and “Pumpkin McPornhumper.”

“I only have 100 more,” Kimmel quipped to a round of applause, before launching into more nicknames for the former president.

Kimmel continued on to draw a parallel between Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene, two of the only people who have attempted to censor him. “When you think of all the people who I’ve regularly made fun of, it’s a lot of people. The only two who’ve tried to stop me are Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene who actually called the cops on me,” he said. “I made fun of OJ [Simpson] a thousand times; he hasn’t tried to kill me once.”

Toward the end of his roast of Trump, Kimmel called out the former president’s well-documented history of insults. “He makes fun of disabled journalists. He calls our veterans prisoners of war, even losers,” said Kimmel. “He insults his opponents, his friends, his family. But if I point out that he’s so fat they renamed the plane Air Force Wonder Bread, I’m the bad guy?”

Kimmel even found a way to poke at Trump’s reportedly crumbling relationship with his wife, Melania Trump. “Maybe this is why Donald and Melania sleep in separate bedrooms: She laughed too hard at my monologue at night.”

Kimmel ended the segment by pointing out the hypocrisy of Trump and news channels like Fox News that claim to champion free speech. Joking aside, this is a blatant abuse of power. I wonder if Fox News—you know, they’re always screaming about censoring comedians—will defend me on this? I doubt it.” He then played a clip package featuring the ex-president regaling the virtues of free speech. “It’s almost like he’s a hypocrite.”

[booksandwords]

Ride the Lightning (Sinister in Savannah, #1)

by Aimee Nicole Walker

Series: Sinister in Savannah, #1 Read Time: 4 Days Rating: 3/5

Quote: Life is like a thunderstorm—unpredictable, beautiful, and sometimes dangerous. — Maeve St. John

Warnings: PTSD, discussion of death and terrorism and survivor's guilt.

I really enjoyed Ride the Lightning much more than I think I expected to. Particularly given I only chose to read it now despite having bought it quite a while ago to fill a prompt for a reading challenge, always a risky prospect. The ending is lovely. Everyone gets what they need and there is no true sadness. I really enjoyed the ride the whodunit aspect and the parallel romance. Avery and Jonah are so good for each other and their bedroom aspects suit them their mix of playful and serious mixing Avery's flirtatious and sunny self with Jonah's brooding and stormy side.

The plot didn't feel predictable to me in hindsight maybe it should be but isn't that a sign of good writing? Being able to look back and see the things the signposts you missed. I do worry about the fate of one of the characters but I think maybe he's fine. Given there are two more books in this series he may yet reappear. On the subsequent books I appreciate that we are given tidbits of them. Book two Mr. Perfect follows Felix and Jude Arrow because there is no way that rivalry isn't hiding all kinds of electric chemistry. Felix is going after a case that for in order to avoid civil suits Jude is shying away from. I'm would guess on professional egos the size of small planets, a history and a battle of wills. Book three Pretty Poison follows Rocky and a yet unmet man. The case in question is Tess Hamilton and it honestly looks really interesting. Tess is a black widow type. Look I have a great aunt who appears like a black widow and it endlessly amuses the whole family. I just really like any book that plays with the trope. The plot is basically is Tess a black widow or not and if she is how did she get away with it for so long.

The characters are likeable on the whole you will find yourself screaming at them to get on with it but that is part of the charm. Their unresolved sexual tension that everyone can see but they are unwilling to act on. they both have very humanising elements too. Jonah's past is more than a bit dark. Just be aware he has PTSD though not as bad as I've read in other books. There is some discussion of death and terrorism and survivor's guilt.

Marla is Jonah's next-door neighbour, recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, Marla is a freaking Queen in two senses of the word. I love her so much. "There are certain things I am unwilling to compromise and staying true to myself tops the list. Love me as I am or get the fuck gone." She is all power and sass and let me go my way. She actually feels quite similar in some ways to Maeve St. John, Jonah's grandmother and the most influential figure in his life. Both are somewhat guiding figures to him. Marla is core to the reason the plot exists, she is the friend that asks Jonah to investigate Earl Ison's case.

Have a note dump because this is already long...

“Why are you assuming her affair is with a man?” Jonah asked out of curiosity. “Oh, hell,” Rocky said slowly. “Why the hell didn’t I consider her lover could be a woman?” “We’re brainwashed with heteronormative bullshit from birth,” — There is a subplot involving PI Rocky and a cheating spouse case that still isn't resolved at the end of the book. I find it amusing and this line, in particular, is so good because we really, really have. (Jonah and Rocky)

God bless any author who writes explicitly safe and consensual sex. In this case, there is also Jonah knowing that as much as Avery wanting something he isn't ready it will hurt him.

Rocky is a serial flirt but Felix is "the slut puppy in this trio,”. That makes things interesting, Rocky may not be all talk per se but he likes to play and banter.

Rocky and Felix have an almost perfect sibling-like relationship. Given they haven't been working together long that was a choice to write but it works well with their personality types.

“Today’s episode is called Ride the Lightning,” [... ] “The term is slang for execution by electric chair, which wasn’t abolished in Georgia until October 2001.” — I didn't know the origins of the title. It's a great choice. I won't add spoilers but the whole thing just works. (Felix)

"Resolve whatever demons are haunting you, cut those fucking chains, and allow yourself to love and be loved in return. You deserve it, baby." — I could write a hundred of Marla's lines here and it wouldn't be enough. In some ways she makes the book.

Just omg the Scooby-Doo references

Karlee who we never met but I kinda wish we did is the sort of best friend I think everyone needs. She's giving her bestie the kick in the pants Avery so desperately needs.

“Goodnight, Avery.” “Sweet dreams, thundercloud.” — Avery's nickname for Jonah is adorable. Thundercloud suits Jonah.

“No one wants to think that innocent people land in prison, especially not on death row. History has taught us otherwise, and I’m afraid some people weren’t paying attention to the lessons.” — This is totally a fair point but also a gut punch. (Jonah)

Props for Ellie. I do love seeing queer women in powerful positions. She's also the best aunt Jonah could ask for.

“Glitter,” Marla scoffed. “I said snazzy, not tacky. This blush pink is my signature color in case you haven’t noticed.” — Look I laughed at this. This is another moment of Marla in a nutshell.

Total respect to any author who can write friendships like this. A hookup that has turned into an almost sibling-like relationship. Neighbours are willing to risk anything for each other. Ride or die best friends and the varying romantic dynamics. All mixed up and working so well in harmony. For those who like Aimee Nicole Walker's writing style after reading this. Royce and Sawyer with their hilarious chemistry, the like of which I haven't read since Rowe and Noah in Unbreakable Bonds, have their own series Zero Hour (book one Ground Zero). Events involving some of the characters in Ride the Lightning take place in the second book, Devil's Hour. I would guess Jonah's cutie housemate Kendall will turn up somewhere else too. Preferably without his problematic baggage. Believe it or not, it's only Travis's douchery that makes me call him problematic not their complicated relationship.

[blushing-titan]

My reasons to ship Erehisu

About two weeks ago, I got an anonymous ask that reads:

what made you ship erehisu? I don't ship anyone in the series (and defo not eremika lol) and I want to understand the reasons

...but when I tried to answer it on my app, it turned out that I can only post 10 pictures per post, so I decided to make a longer, regular one with my thoughts on this topic 😄 Erehisu remains one of my favorite ships in the series (...with the other ones being Yumi/hisu and Levi/han), so I really enjoy talking about it (...well, at least I did, before I started moving away from the series after that mess of a finale). Without further ado, my reasons to ship Erehisu are under the cut (just a quick warning: the pictures are obviously not mine, and there are some anti-eremika themes in this post).

They had an actual developement

As we know: in the beginning, Historia was pretending to be this good, selfless girl Krista. Later on, we learn that Eren was not particularly fond of her façade (...keep in mind he was the only person who noticed that she was acting off, too - obviously excluding Ymir, who was Historia's closest person and knew about her secret). As Historia chooses to embrace her identity and stop pretending, his opinion on her changes - he reassures her and appreciates the real Historia.

You’re just normal. Just a normal girl who’s absurdly honest. (Eren, ch. 54)

Eren...that day...the time you called me...normal. That made me really...happy. (Historia, ch. 65)

Later on, after Historia saves Eren in the Reiss cave, his thoughts on her change even further. There isn't just something that he likes about her anymore - instead, he starts to actually admire her strength and actions.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 70)

Even further on, he prioritizes her safety and hides an important piece of information that could help Paradis' cause - only because it could potentially put Historia in harm's way.

(ch. 89)

(ch. 90)

(ch. 106)

Keep in mind that there was a time skip in between these chapters, which means Eren kept this secret for years. He hid it even from Armin and Mikasa. After it's finally revealed, he strongly disagrees with, and fights against Historia becoming a titan for the sake of the island. Eren’s sentiment towards Historia is even noticed by Hanji on a few different occasions - it’s something that Hanji brings up while questioning him, later on.

(ch. 107)

Eren also meets Historia in secret, warns her of danger, and downright doesn't let her sacrifice herself - even when she assures him that she's ready to do it. 

(ch. 130)

She's also one of the only people with whom he shares the information about the rumbling. He also brings up her own words that she said to him back in the Reiss cave.

(ch. 130)

I believe he doesn't fight for her just because she's one of his friends. It's a natural progression that comes from the shared experience they had in the Reiss cave. Eren got to know and appreciate the real Historia, so whenever she reverts back to the Krista persona, he's there to remind her that she should live for herself and don't let others use her - just like Ymir told her, and just like Historia told him in the Reiss cave. When Eren stands up for Historia in ch. 107 and blatantly refuses to let her get sacrificed, she's actually touched to the point of tearing up.

Their relationship changes and deepens with time, and it's actually shown in the manga - not just as symbols or small hints, but actual, full-fledged conversations/actions. In my opinion, this should be the base of any well-estabilished ship. We have quite a few one-on-one moments with these two that illustrate this progression. There are also panels in which we can peak into Eren's thoughts on Historia, which makes for an unfiltered source of his opinions on her.

They can relate to each other

Something I find really important as well is that Eren and Historia can find each other very relatable, and therefore - understand each other's struggles better.

Both were used by their fathers, and both caused their demise. Both were fiercely protected by someone. Both felt like the world would be better without them, at some point. Both had a big role to play, despite having doubts if they can do it right (Eren, being humanity's titan; Historia, being the queen). Both wanted to sacrifice themselves for their people's sake - and both intervened, saving each other from actually going through with this decision.

Their relationship is well-balanced

Eren and Historia don't clash when it comes to their personalities. As their relationship grows, they mutually admire, protect and motivate each other, while still remaining two separate characters - with their own goals and traits. They freely talk to each other about their struggles; they also care about each other’s actual feelings on them.

(ch. 54)

(ch. 70)

I can easily see them as partners, which is something I've always had troubles with when it comes to EM. It's just hard not to make this comparison, since Mikasa's character has always been pretty much fully centered around Eren, which - in my eyes - made their relationship look unbalanced and toxic. I've already spoke about my issues with EM in depth in this post, so I won't elongate this one with repeating the same arguments - still, one of the reasons I started shipping Erehisu in the first place is the fact that I immediately saw it as a much more normal, healthy, and well-balanced alternative to EM.

Parallels and relevance to the story’s themes

Parallels are something that, for some reason, make a lot of people mad. I have no idea why - these things appear in the manga, so why not talk about them?

Aside from parallels between Eren and Historia (...please, keep in mind that I didn’t list all of them in this post), there are also a lot of obvious parallels between Historia and the founder Ymir - to the point, when the entire Requiem der Morgenröte ending revolves around this theme:

I've also already spoke about how Ymir/Historia parallels could possibly be tied to Eren in this answer.

(Historia on the cover of vol. 16/Ymir in ch. 122)

Aside from that, there are a few subtle Grisha/Dina and Eren/Historia parallels, as well. Historia is a royal, hiding as a regular person - just like Dina did, before joining the revivalists. Dina also tears up when Grisha stands up for Eldians, just like Historia does when Eren stands up for her.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 67)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 56)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 107)

(ch. 86)

Quite interestingly, in a lot of these parallels Historia and Eren act in an opposite way as to previous generations. While Frida teaches Historia to be a good, selfless girl, Historia ends up abandoning this persona to save herself and Eren in the Reiss cave. She doesn’t want to devote herself to fate - instead, she’s prepared for a showdown with it. While the founder Ymir’s children are ordered to eat their own mother to ensure her power’s succession (...and a few hundred years later, Grisha fights to return the founder’s power back to his wife - Dina), Eren does everything he can to ensure Historia and her children are safe and never even titanised in the first place. 

As the story unfolds, we learn about it’s leading themes - some of which are: oppression and fighting for freedom, desire to change history, the mechanism of circle of hate, and how it affects children who are a part of it. In my eyes, Erehisu just perfectly fit with these themes, especially considering how later on Historia’s pregnancy was handled in the manga.

There were countless ways to answer the who’s the father question? immediately, without even starting up conversation about it - for example, I don’t understand why it was needed to bring up the fact that Historia didn’t marry the farmer in the first place. What was it’s purpose, aside from stirring up theories - especially considering how in the last chapter it’s revealed that they are married, after all? Why end up the Eren/Historia flashback on the What do you think about me having a child? question, when the whole conversation they had beforehand was literally about Eren disagreeing with Historia wanting to get pregnant just to save herself? It doesn’t make sense, and led me (and many other readers - judging from opinions I read online and chapter reactions on youtube) to belive that there were other reasons, and that there was more to this conversation then was initially shown.

If the conclusion to this plotline was always supposed to be that she got pregnant just to save herself...then what was this mysterious built-up for? Why show this conversation in the first place, and in such a weird manner, too? Why not have Historia just say it out loud in ch. 130: yes, I got pregnant to save myself in the beginning, and spare us this whole I will not allow it talk...you know, instead of ending the conversation on the What do you think about me having a child? when the whole previous talk was about Eren fighting against it? Where’s the logic?

The truth is - from my perspective, Erehisu had a lot of logical build up that would benefit the story, and stay true to it’s already established themes and both characters’ previous developement. On top of that, I also think they simply had great chemistry.

That’s all from me today 😄 I apologize you had to wait so long for this, anon...life got in the way, and as I said - I think I’m just getting over this series. Hope you’re doing well anyway 😊

[helenazbmrskai]

Bangtan Studios

Guess who’s writing fanfiction instead of studying? Yeah, it’s me. I really should study but this idea just couldn’t let me live until I wrote this down. I can’t believe I wrote a 10k long fic again when finals are so close. All the same please enjoy this baby that I wrote for two days straight!

Title ‹Bangtan Studios›

Pairing ‹Producer! Yoongi x Receptionist! OC›

Genre ‹non-idol but famous au, slice of life, like 7k of straight angst, smut, there’s some fluff, (kinda) enemies to lovers au›

Summary ‹As a temporary replacement at Bangtan Studios, you fulfil the position of the new receptionist and there’s always this one grumpy producer that you can’t seem to expel from taking over your thoughts.›

Warning(s) ‹breast play, making out against a wall, teasing, oral (f), fingering, quickie, they fuck at the studio at 2 am (but no one's around), unprotected sex, me trying to be funny, also Yoongi is kind of an asshole but you’re a masochist so it’s fine›

Word Count ‹10k›

Masterlist

”Don’t worry about me L, it might seem like a little step backwards but it’s not like I have the money to rent a room and the owner said that I can use one of the empty ones after my work hours to record.”

I switch the phone to my other ear, freeing my right hand with the motion as I flip through the guest book dotting down the date on the top left side of a new page. I hear L sighing from the other end of the call but relents knowing that it’s the best offer that I got in a while and I’m adamant to grab any chance that I could get. Bills won’t pay themselves unfortunately and the rat hole I’m renting is the lowest I’m willing to go.

It’s not a stressful job per se as I’ll manage the studio’s guest list and keep track of the whereabouts of the keys that I hand out to musicians mostly, my job description might occasionally entail filling out forms if something breaks or an electrical gadget goes haywire, pretty tame to let me be able to focus on my things. Who knows maybe if I do a good job Namjoon will give me a raise and with some savings, I could finally find a place in a nice neighbourhood.

The previous assistant left on short notice and I – happened to be looking for a temporary job. I’m lucky that Namjoon is a friend of a friend who’s close with a friend of mine so I could get the job without much of a hassle.

The owner Namjoon seemed to be a decent guy in my eyes when he gave me the keys to the doors this morning, perhaps a little bit clumsy as he collided with some cleaning supplies on his way to the front door. The image itself is enough to put a permanent smile on my face that is until someone taps my shoulder forcing me to end my conversation with a curt goodbye. Namjoon won’t be happy to know I ignored the person who came in on my first day of work so I prepare my best customer smile that I used a lot while I was working as a part-timer in an ice cream parlour.

”Good –” I start when he suddenly held up a hand. The man looks significantly taller than me as I look over his appearance with a slightly raised chin, a black hoodie is covering his head that seems to be much bigger than his actual size and if the high counter that you’re behind wouldn’t obscure your line of sight of his lower half you might have seen his hands buried inside two parallel pockets.

As you reach his eyes with your gaze your confusion falters, he looks quite pissed without any real reason, well, other than the dark circles that could be seen from the outer circle of the milky way. This guy is in serious need of some sleep.

”Where’s that lady who usually sits here?” This guy must not like small talk as he cuts to the chase right after he laid his eyes on me his gaze feels like a thousand knives just penetrated my skull, it almost looks like he’s here to murder me rather than rent a studio room. It takes a few minutes before I recover to give him an answer, I force my smile to stay on as I explain the situation to him.

”Her grandmother is sick so I’ll be the one to fill her place temporarily until she comes back, My name is Y/N. Can I ask for yours, Sir?”

Grabbing a pen from the holder I patiently wait for his name so I could do my duty and add him to today’s list just like Namjoon instructed. I remember he vaguely explained this morning that famous people in the music industry pay monthly to have a room here so they could work on their music in peace.

Namjoon also said that there’s one room, the one with the number 15 that’s regularly rented by his friend, he’s the only one who has a specific studio every time while others mix between rooms all the time depends on which one is occupied at the moment.

”Yoongi. Don’t ever call me Sir.” The man in front of me wears a sour expression as I try to keep my face nice and relaxed from frowning at him myself. This guy, even though all I do is be polite and make this as pleasant as possible, nothing seems to reach that cold heart of his. Working with people all my life trained me to ignore dimwits like him but it doesn’t mean I’m not itching to show him what real attitude is.

”Here.” I stretch out my hand with my palm facing him, the key to studio 5 in the middle of it. For now, I’ll just bite my tongue to stop any remarks and give him a key so I could cut this very awkward conversation short.

”That’s not my key.” He sighs after inhaling sharply, clearly irritated at my lack of knowledge and my eyebrows shoot up the minute I realise he’s supposed to be Namjoon’s friend who rents room 15. How could that friendly guy with cute little dimples be friends with a literal demon from hell?

”I’m sorry, here’s your key then.” That I would have given to you in the first place if you just, I don’t know, stopped being a dick for a moment and told me. I swallow down the last part though.

I need this job and I’m definitely not going to lose it just because Namjoon is friends with a guy who clearly has some anger management issues. Right, I need to focus on the good money this place can give me. I already messed up so I should try extra hard to be on his good side as he could potentially get me fired.

The others are fine. I even get to have a chat about music with a guy around my age, he introduced himself as Jungkook and even though at first glance he looked like a total creep with his overwhelming womanizer aura and poor attempts at flirting it turned out we share a lot in common regarding our music tastes.

After that encounter with Yoongi, the people I met throughout the day were pleasant to converse with and had actual manners. Everyone (or at least civilised people) know how to say ’thank you’ and ’please’ but apparently, this is not in this guy’s dictionary.

I wonder why he looks like someone just murdered his dog while he was sleeping (hoping that’s not the case though because that would be just sad and I want to curse him without feeling guilty about it).

Back to the topic, I don’t know what that man’s problem is but I hope he spills that coffee I saw in his hands during my lunch break all over himself by the end of this day. I don’t even know why I got so riled up by this random stranger being rude to me. Not that his opinion should matter, he’s a stranger just like I said.

I leave around 8 pm that day with a sour mood and a growling stomach to match it. There’s only one key missing but Namjoon called me this afternoon to fill me in that Yoongi stays over time, like, all the time so I can just go home as soon as my shift ends and Yoongi will put back his key on the rack by the wall when he heads home.

It was fine by me. I’m not that fond of him to want to see him more than it’s absolutely necessary. I know Namjoon could hear the edge in my voice when his name came up and he wasn’t too surprised, at least now I know he’s like this with everyone.

The shifts are long and even if my sole purpose is to hand out keys and make sure that no one sneaks in to bother the artists it’s pretty boring but none the less tiring. Maybe I should pack a book or something for tomorrow to entertain me.

Jungkook did show up to bother me when he declared it’s time for his well-deserved break from recording and that’s when he shared this interesting piece of information that he’s working together with Yoongi on a song. It piqued my interest as the chance presented itself to learn a little more about the grumpy man so I asked if Yoongi is a singer like Jungkook but all I got was an almost passed out musician as he couldn’t stop laughing. He enlightened me between snorts and suppressed giggling that Yoongi is a producer and can’t sing for shit – not my words, his.

Seeing Yoongi’s grim expression first thing in the morning as soon as I arrive at work is not how I would normally like to start my day – or any day for that matter but I keep reminding myself that the money worths more than this tiny inconvenience that is called Min Yoongi. Knowing this time what to expect I choose to go with a half-smile not too enthusiastic but not too rude either as the goal was a somewhat natural expression.

He wears a different hoodie today but the dark circles under his eyes are the same, it’s still black (like his soul probably) the only way I can tell it’s different that this piece of clothing has a print on the front that awfully looks like an anime character with a basketball in one hand. I’m not a huge fan of sports in general so I have no idea who’s smiling at the front. I’m itching to ask about it because I love animes but I refrain, he’ll just dismiss my interest as if I intentionally want to crawl under his skin.

To strategically avoid making the same mistake as yesterday. I hastily jot down his name next to the date now that I’m more familiar with what I’m supposed to do. I successfully hand him his key to studio 15 before he could fully open his mouth and ruin my mood with a single word – I have no doubts that he’s capable of doing such a thing. I’m all in for small wins as today he didn’t even have time to halt my ’good morning’ before I finished. Yoongi took the key silently and walked away, just how I like it.

”Y/N we’re going for an early lunch would you like to come with us?” I look up from the page I’m currently at placing the bookmark in the middle to meet Jungkook’s sparkly eyes and then look over his shoulder to witness a more reserved Yoongi who is clearly not happy about the idea of me joining. He couldn’t say no when Jungkook didn’t ask for his opinion in the first place before he stormed up to the front desk to grab my attention.

I take a look at my phone screen to scan the time and win some more time to create a believable excuse why I can’t join, it’s too early for me to have my lunch break anyway not that I would like to lengthen this slow day by sitting next Yoongi while I try to shove food down my throat and make awkward small talk. Yoongi hates small talk so it would be a futile attempt to dissolve the awkward tension that settled over us.

Our interactions are bare and I would like to keep it this way. I give Jungkook an apologetic smile hinting at what I’m about to say when my phone rings, saving my ass as I’m sure Jungkook would have tried to persuade me if it weren’t for the sudden call. ”Go without me I have to take this call.”

This time my apology is genuine as I see Jungkook’s lips form a pout (I know he wants us to get along that’s why he tries to make us talk) but doesn’t push the matters further as he nods. Jungkook now turns to Yoongi who is already a few steps ahead of him one foot already on the other side of the door, ready to leave the building.

”Hi it’s Namjoon, sorry to interrupt you while you’re at work but I would like to ask for a favour if it’s alright with you.”

I can’t say I’m not surprised to hear that but if there’s anyone who I’d want to help it’s him. He has been treating me very kindly ever since I started working here so I obviously didn’t want to say no.

I learned that he’s a very thoughtful person. He always makes sure to ask about work even if it’s just about small things like how I’m feeling or if I need something I shouldn’t hesitate to contact him. He’s a sweetheart and I started to consider him as one of my friends as well. I would like to be his friend even if I’m no longer his employee.  

”Of course. Is everything alright Namjoon?” I stand up from my chair ready to do anything to help him.

”Oh don’t worry Y/N, it’s just a small favour. My brother is on his way can you give him the keys to studio 11? I broke the mouse the other day so I sent him to replace it with a new one.” I nod curtly as the woman who used studio 5 placed the key down onto the counter before focusing back on the conversation. She smiled in return as if she doesn’t want to interrupt my call and waved goodbye.

”You didn’t have to say it with such a dramatic pause. I thought something bad happened to you.” Plopping down against the chair I chuckle lightly, relaxing now that I know it’s not serious.

Namjoon’s brother shows up at the same time when Jungkook and Yoongi decide to come back from their lunch around two. Both boys greet him, seemingly well acquainted with him and then I remember that Namjoon told me previously that he lets a few of his friends use his rooms with discounts.

I knew that Yoongi is considered to be Namjoon’s friend but I didn’t know that Jungkook is close with him too – in a way it makes sense. I’m not here long enough to tell who is whose’s friend yet.

”You must be Y/N. Namjoonie said he’ll call you about the broken mouse.” I accept his outstretched hand and he shakes it gently. I nod with a gentle smile on my face, searching between keys to find the right one that opens studio 11.

”What did he break this time?” Jungkook joins the conversation with ease, resting gently his head on his hands.

They share a laugh as they try to list everything that Namjoon broke with his destructive powers going as far as mentioning why the male bathroom misses a glass window (before this I had no idea why he buys coffee from the vending machine that’s down the hall but it turned out he needs to use almost half of the money he earns to replace things). I let an amused smile find its way up my face as I give him the keys.

I’ve only been here for a few weeks but this place is better than any of the previous workplaces I had. The patrons are nice, the only thing that could serve as a complaint is that the work hours are long for a receptionist desk job but it pays really well so there’s really nothing wrong. I have to admit that if Nana’s grandmother eventually gets better and she comes back to work I would really miss coming here. Not that I don’t want her grandma to get better of course. It’s just that this place grew on me.

Even Yoongi’s irritated grunts in the morning when he tries to mimic my ’Good morning’ became a routine of my life. We’re by no means close like I’m with Jungkook or Namjoon but let’s just say he’s a constant. Even though we don’t talk about ourselves – I unintentionally picked up some things about him.

I know he hates changes that’s why he demanded to know where the lady who’s always behind the desk is when it was just my first day here. Now he expects me to be behind the desk just like I always know when he’ll show up as he always comes at the same time each day. He likes his routines and hates when things don’t go the way he wants them. He mostly keeps to himself but I know he has a few good friends.

He especially looks grumpy one morning when he gets caught up in the rain on his way to the studio. I always keep a hand towel in my bag to have something to burrito my umbrella in but I luckily got here before it started raining so I offered him to dry himself.

”Stupid weather forecast, it said there’s only a 15% chance that it’ll rain today.” The boy murmurs under his breath, he snatched it from between my fingers (even if a thank you would have been nice to hear I don’t say anything since he’s in a bad mood I decided to keep my mouth shut) and started angrily dabbing his hair with the fluffy towel.

I passed him the key to his studio and he soon disappeared behind one of the doors taking my towel with him. I sigh once he’s out of my sight, accepting the fact that I’ll never see that towel again, it was one of my favourites too.

I had a lot of time in my hands so I mopped the floor when things were slow, wanting to make sure no one will slip because of the puddle of water that Yoongi smeared everywhere after his grand entrance. Now that I think about it, he looked really drenched, he didn’t even go home to change into something dry and stormed off to lock himself inside his studio like he always does.

He’ll catch a cold. I hope at least he turned on the portable heater inside. I shake my head to dismiss the thought. I try to remind myself it’s none of my concern if he’ll get sick or not. Because of the rain, he probably didn’t stop by the coffee shop he frequents, I don’t remember seeing a cup in his hands when he arrived. Taking my umbrella out of my bag I use my lunch break to get some take out and get two large coffee from the corner shop on my way back to the studio.

I anxiously gnaw on my lips, this is so stupid.

Yoongi will never accept these (especially if it’s coming from me). I pace around, moving in circles in front of Yoongi’s studio for the past ten minutes or so thinking hard about how to get a better outcome that doesn’t end up with Yoongi taking off my head because I interrupted him during work. I’m undecided if I want to take the risk of getting yelled at. Just on cue like someone heard my prayers I catch sight of Jungkook as he exits his room and I get a good idea.

Yoongi and Jungkook are friends, he’ll not question him if he decides to surprise him with food and coffee.

Knowing Yoongi and his tendencies to drink so much coffee that could power him for a week I doubt he’ll tell him to get lost. I also got him his usual as I remembered Jungkook mentioned it once that he likes his coffee black – just like his soul.

I can 100% believe that. Jungkook looked baffled when I approached him to give him Yoongi’s coffee and Chinese take out but only let him go and execute our plan when he finally promised me that he’ll never tell him it’s from me. I’ll never live it down if someone sniffs out I’m worried about him.

My plan didn’t seem to work. Yoongi didn’t come to the studio the next day. Jungkook told me later that he’s sick and bedridden with a nasty flu, not that you’re surprised. You’re only surprised when Jungkook slips a little paper to you over lunch break. The tiny note tells you an address – Min Yoongi’s address precisely.

”Why are you giving me this?” I ask cluelessly which makes Jungkook coo at my cuteness but I still don’t understand.

”I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.” My chin drops down to the floor at the ridiculous declaration – this is officially the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Happy my ass. He’d be happy to kick me out as soon as he sees me. I don’t know what Jungkook is scheming but I’m not buying it.

”I know what you might think but Yoongi doesn’t hate your guts as much as you think he does and you clearly don’t hate him because you wouldn’t have gone out of your way to get him food and coffee when there was a fucking storm outside. Wait let me finish.”

He could sense my disbelief that’s why he adds the last part quickly. I nod my head silently, even though there’s a sarcastic remark on the tip of my tongue I’ll try to keep it to myself for now.

”I think you already know this but Yoongi is not a huge fan of changes in his life. He’s an ass sometimes I won’t argue with that but with you Y/N, he keeps showing you his worst self, I don’t think that he’s even aware that he tries to scare you away. He likes you a lot that’s why he keeps acting like an asshole. It had been always him and his passion for music but now he wants to have something else. Someone else. You.”

”I appreciate the poetic approach but I don’t think Yoongi likes me. If you ever decide to write a book I’ll definitely buy it though because this sounds like straight out of romance novel. Maybe you should explore this side of you more.” I pat his cheek with a tight-lipped smile. Phew, I almost thought for a moment that he’s serious.

I might have a tiny beany crush on him – strictly when he’s not talking – he’s a very handsome man so it’s logical that a single girl feels a little attraction. However, it always vanishes when he opens his mouth to spit out his usual nonsense so I’m sure it’s nothing more than that. I also admit that I might pay a little more attention to him than to others but it could be because he could potentially fire me through Namjoon (which is a lie because Jungkook is Namjoon’s friend too but I hardly pay any attention to him, sorry Kook).

Well, maybe it’s a little more than just a tiny crush but my point still stands that – there’s no way in hell that Yoongi likes me (too) he’s painfully indifferent towards me if he’s not irritated then he’s grumpy. He always has something to complain about even if it’s not my fault and there’s nothing I could do about it.

I think the only reason he talks to me is to prolong my torment like we’re in the eighth circle of hell – he’s literally a demon without the wings and stuff.  Living just to leech onto my lifeforce and use me as his personal stress ball.

I don’t know why I let him convince me to still go and check up on Yoongi despite my better judgement that tells me he doesn’t feel the same way.

I wouldn’t dare say that I’m in love with him because we don’t know each other to that extent but I feel more than sheer irritation when I see him – how Yoongi feels about me is the question here. Jungkook said though that if he’s wrong about the older boy he’ll buy me lunch for a whole month and I’m not financially stable enough to reject such an offer so here I am, literally in front of his door – that probably leads me to hell.

Even if it sounded like one of his previous flirting tactics and I would gladly ditch those lunches if it only meant that Yoongi likes me (too). I don’t want to get my hopes up but Jungkook’s words did give me some confidence to actually show up at his doorstep.

On the other hand, Yoongi’s definitely the more financially stable one out of the two of us considering how he lives in a nice neighbourhood and his house is pretty decent from the outside.

His apartment is at one of the complexes that are quite new around here too I remember seeing an advertisement when I was house hunting a few months ago but it was too expensive for me so I didn’t even contact the owner to see the interior and moved on to a less pricey side of Seoul. But damn, he must be a hell of a good producer that he can afford living here all by himself. I’m so lost in admiring my surroundings that I didn’t realise someone is standing next to me until a middle-aged woman places a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. She has her hands full of grocery bags but a smile immediately adorns her face as soon as I make eye contact.

”Are you one of Yoongi’s friends dear?” Gaping like a fish out of water I contemplate if I should just agree or tell some lie that I’m lost or something, she must see the panic in my eyes that she softens up even more that makes me discard the idea of lying to her immediately. She looks like a saint only a halo is missing from above her head, I don’t want to make a fool out of myself by lying to this nice lady.

”I, uh, my name is Y/N. I sometimes see him at work.” I offer this at least. Her face lits up with recognition after hearing my name that momentarily catches me off guard. Why would this nice lady know my name?

”Oh so you’re Y/N. I heard a lot about you from my son, please come in.” Her smile stretches as wide as the door in front of us, the lovely gesture makes the skin around her eyes crinkle with age but she’s nonetheless beautiful.

Lord send me help, I don’t even want to know what he had told about me to his mother to get a reaction like this, he probably went on a rant about how bad of a receptionist I am and now she tries to be polite.

I might have messed up some keys in the beginning sometimes but I’m still better than Namjoon, at least I don’t do permanent damage and go around breaking the equipment all the time.

What the actual fuck is happening. Yoongi’s mother is a literal angel descended from the heavens, how is it possible that he looks like the devil himself when he has such a beautiful and nice guardian? No offence to her mother but his son is a demon in disguise. Beckoning me inside once she sees I’m still rooted to my spot by the door, I take a look around the house to get out of my daze. It’s spotless, it almost looks unused.

The only indication that someone lives in here is the shoes neatly placed on the rack and coats hanging by the entrance, considering the amount of time he spends at the studio I wouldn’t be too surprised to learn he only crashes here at night. Eat, sleep and work – that’s all he does if you can trust Jungkook’s words and by the worried look in his mother’s eyes it’s probably true.

”I have to leave in a bit so I’m glad I found you here. I’ll make some vegetable soup can you make sure he eats it?”

She looks up when I hesitate to say yes. I could feel my palm getting sweaty with each passing minute Yoongi’s mother prepares the food and hums a soft tune, her smile is gentle as he slices some carrots with a kitchen knife. I’m not sure he would like to see me at his house, maybe I should call one of his friends to take care of him? I want to help, I really do, but what if he doesn’t want me to be here? Seeing as doubt fills my eyes she leaves the food to take my hand in hers.

”Knowing my son’s personality he probably didn’t make things easy for you dear. It might not seem like it but he’s very fond of you. I don’t think he ever talked about a woman with such adoration in his voice before. Yoongi likes to stick to the things that he has control over but he can’t control his emotions and that scares him. I know he’s not the easiest person to deal with but I would be happy if you’d give him another chance.”

I give her hand a reassuring squeeze back. ”I like him too. He’s temperamental and grumpy but I guess he’s not so bad after all. I. H-He just always argues with me so I’m not sure what to do.”

It feels good to tell someone what has been on my mind lately. He’s not always unbearable but he keeps sending me mixed signals that I’m not sure what to think of. Sometimes we chat about our favourite artists, he asks for my opinion on things and it makes me think we’re getting somewhere (I love how he can talk about music so passionately) but then the next minute he has something to complain about and makes me feel like his lack of inspiration is somehow my fault.

”Things will always work out in the end.” She leaves with these last words and an encouraging bear hug. The soup is still hot when I spoon some into a bowl taking deep breaths I feel nervous all of a sudden now that his mother left it’s eerily quiet it almost seems like no one’s home. She showed me before she left where I can find his room and even though I’m really nervous to face Yoongi I scoop up all my (non-existent) confidence and knock.

I wait a bit before I open the door thinking that he’s probably passed out from the fever I tiptoe into the room. It’s messier than I thought but the interior is very Yoongi like in the sense that musical instruments are all over the place. He really is just a big workaholic who lives for his job.

I carefully put the food down to check his temperature I find it concerning when my hands meet his skin and it feels like he’s burning up. I explore the house to locate all the things I need to bring his fever down and fortunately, I find a basin under the sink to fill it with cold water and borrowed a washcloth from the bathroom as well.

He remains unconscious until his fever is fully gone as I kneel beside his bed my previous nervous fidgeting is long forgotten as worry takes over, his condition is worse than I initially thought.

I don’t know where he stores his painkillers so I look into every cabinet before I find what I’m looking for (at this rate I’m becoming more familiar with all the things that he has in his apartment). Now that some light from the afternoon sun peeks through his curtains Yoongi looks even paler than he normally is.

”Get better soon so you can yell at me when I misplace your key. Even if we argue all day it’s better than seeing you this sick.” I ran my hands through his sweaty hair as I replace the towel on his forehead.

He’s really sick, I can’t picture him letting me touch his hair like this if he wouldn’t be unconscious. He looks so peaceful while sleeping, now that he’s not scowling it’s easy to see how handsome he is. If only he would take better care of himself. It’s getting late outside but I don’t want to leave him until I know his fever went down permanently so I close my eyes for a second, I’ll just rest for a few minutes.

I didn’t realise I was this tired until I couldn’t open them again as they felt heavy and the warmth from Yoongi’s body lulled me to sleep.

Well fuck me, the few minutes turned out to be hours later, the sun is already up but fortunately, Yoongi isn’t.

I’m glad that he didn’t witness my ungraceful awakening. Everything hurts when I stand, I fell asleep on the floor next to Yoongi’s bed totally forgot about the basin next to it as I stepped straight into the cold water – it’s a miracle that Yoongi didn’t wake up when I yelped in surprise.

While waiting for Yoongi to finally wake up I finished cleaning the dishes, cleaned his living room and filled his washing machine with a bunch of clothes since there’s not even a single clean shirt inside his closet.

At first, I felt a bit guilty as I keep doing chores in someone else’s apartment when the owner is unaware that I’m there but his mother did tell me to look after him so he can’t be that angry later that I didn’t ask for his permission to touch things. If anything he should be thankful. I don’t think this house looked this clean ever since he bought it.

The next time I check if he’s still asleep he has his back facing the door so I can’t tell his eyes are closed or open. I stroll closer trying to make my steps light, without thinking I card my fingers through his messy hair away from his forehead to make sure he’s not having another fever.

Yoongi suddenly turns to lay on his back eyes glazing over my features. His eyelids are laying heavily barely open but I know he recognises me when it widens just a tiny bit, the blush that takes over his entire face could easily come from the aftermath of his fever or the embarrassment that I got to see him in such a vulnerable state. I bet he has no idea that I’m here since yesterday.

I think it’s cute that he tries to hide his reddening face behind his large palms, this is not the reaction I was expecting. I thought he’ll demand an answer of why I’m here or how did I get in. This is way better than that. I can’t help but think that I want to see more of this side, shy Yoongi is just so cute. I can’t believe I have the urge to call him cute after declaring he’s the devil in my head all this time.

”How are you feeling?” I ask gently.

I want to make him more flustered while I still have this opportunity in front of me. I start to run my hands through his hair like before, he averts his eyes immediately but otherwise doesn’t tell me to stop so I continue to comb his hair trying to get the knots out that formed from all the tossing and turning around.

”Water.” He croaks out. I let go of his hair to get a glass from the kitchen, he’s sitting up by the time I come back with a glass of water, he takes a long sip but before he could drain all of the remaining liquid I place a painkiller into his palm for him to take.

It’s more awkward now that he’s awake but the silence is not as bad as it was before. Maybe it’s because I heard those encouraging words from his mother and Jungkook that I feel lighter, knowing that he doesn’t hate me is nice. Makes it easier to let the silence envelop us and remain lost in our thoughts instead. I excuse myself to reheat the soup his mother made and I’m relieved that he feels good enough to eat it.

”I hope you don’t mind, your mother let me in. You were really sick last night so I stayed over to make sure your fever went down.” I carefully watch as he eats. Searching for a comfortable spot I sit down near the end of his bed while I tell him the reason I’m here. The boy nods acknowledging my words but he seems a bit out of it.

”You can go now, I’m feeling better.” Yoongi avoids making eye contact, he looks at his empty bowl like it would magically refill itself, I can’t hide my disappointment after hearing his slightly cold words. I know that things won’t change in a split second but I was hoping that he’ll be nicer after I took care of him. His mother and his close friend both think Yoongi likes me but it doesn’t seem like that to me.

”Alright.” That’s all I say before I grab my jacket that I previously discarded onto the sofa’s armrest and made my way over to the entrance, thinking that maybe it was a mistake to come here. He doesn’t say anything else before I hear the click indicating that the door closed behind me. Yoongi didn’t even try to stop me or say goodbye and the hope that filled my heart before simply started to fade away.

The encounter leaves me in bad mood all day even though Jungkook tries to brighten me up at work his words just keep repeating inside my head making it impossible to focus on my tasks. He wasn’t necessarily rude or anything it’s just looked like he doesn’t really care that I was worried which makes me look stupid for even doing that.

What worse is that he shows up the next day acting like none of it happened. It felt like we’re more of strangers to each other than before when we were bickering. We barely look each other in the eye as of late.

I thought that I’ll be sadder knowing that I have to leave this place as soon as Nana comes back but now, it’s a relief. I can’t move on if I see Yoongi daily and work will serve as a great distraction as I’ll start at my new workplace next week. Namjoon helped me find another receptionist job at his friend Seokjin’s place.

There’s this feeling rooted in my heart that I regret not talking to him more, we never get close enough but I guess some things are just aren’t meant to be. Yoongi’s married to his work, he wouldn’t have time to go on dates in the first place.

On my last day, I told Jungkook that I’ll no longer be here since Nana’s grandmother now is in better shape (I wanted to tell the news to Yoongi too but he disappeared as soon as I placed his key down on the counter). Jungkook looked almost devastated, it felt nice to know someone will miss me and I promised we’ll keep in contact just like I promised Joon that I’ll make sure to give him a call if I need anything.

It felt nice but it made things more apparent how insignificant my presence is meant to Yoongi. I’ll always remain just ’the girl behind the desk’ – nothing more, nothing less. Maybe he’ll ask Nana where’s the girl who’s always behind the desk just like he asked me on my first day or he could just get his key and disappear behind his studio’s door. It’s not like he didn’t know I’m just a temporary replacement.

”What’s gotten into you. You look like you’re somewhere far away in your head. Did something happen?” I shake my head dismissingly. This time I manage to refocus on the reality around me, Lori sits on the chair across from mine and sips her diet coke loudly, making everyone around us glare in our direction inside the crowded fast-food restaurant. I still have the weekends to rest so I easily agreed to meet up on my last day at work, I left earlier than usual as my shift normally tends to end around eight or nine but Namjoon said it’s ok for me to leave and have the rest of my day off.

I have my things in my friend’s car she helped me carry the boxes out when we decided to eat something before we head back to her place to watch a movie and unwind with facemasks and paint our nails.

At first, I thought it would be a good idea to do something other than drowning myself in the depressing thoughts that I’m having lately. It’s stupid that I’m this bothered over the fact that Yoongi isn’t interested in me romantically (not that I have the right to be angry, he’s not responsible for the things I feel) he’s just a boy who is merely an acquaintance than anything he never indicated before that I have a chance. I don’t even know how these feelings evolved without me catching on until it was too late.

Maybe I’m a masochist. I saw every ugly part of Yoongi and I still found ways to like him. Even though I constantly called him a demon and said how unbearable he can be – I did this only to cover the attraction that I felt towards him. It wasn’t the best first expression that I’ve ever seen from a stranger so it somehow felt justified to think that way. However, his sharp exterior is not the only thing that makes Min Yoongi unapologetically himself.

It makes me smile when I think about the coffee he placed rather harshly down onto my counter and said something along the lines that ’they messed up my order at the coffee shop, drink it or throw it out.” Or when he said ’it looks like nowadays even scrumbags like you could be musicians, I suggest you leave the girl alone before I decide I want to break your nose instead of records” when that guy couldn’t accept the fact that I didn’t want to give him my number or go out with him, he looked like a human equivalent that screamed ’scam’ as he talked about how much money he earns.

”Ok. Spit it out already. Does it have to do with a certain Min Yoongi who you used to cuss out daily? If anything you should be happy that you don’t need to hear him complain about mundane things.”

”He wasn’t that bad.” I murmur the words under my nose in hopes that she won’t catch it due to the other costumer’s conversations around us but she does and her eyebrows raise in question.

”You said he’s the bane of your existence. The splinter in your toenail, the devil from the depth of hell, the Voldemort to your Harry Potter. I can recall more, there are at least ten more synonyms that you used to tell me how much you despise him.” I internally cringe after hearing those words.

”You know that I have the tendency to exaggerate things.” I try to shrug, making it seem like that it’s not what bothers me at all even though she truly hit the nail on its head, just like always she knows when I’m lying. This is why I don’t like discussing my feelings with her, she calls me out even if she knows I would rather not hear things sometimes.

”Holy shit, don’t tell me that you actually like him?!” I groan this time out loud, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid.

”Can we not talk about him? I just want to spend some time with my best friend who I haven’t seen in a while and have some fun.”

I’m glad she relents – changing the topic to something else but knowing her this conversation is far from over.

It has been already two weeks that I last saw Yoongi. A part of me hoped that somehow we’ll run into each other. I went out to have drinks with Jungkook and had lunches with Namjoon but he was never nearby. Every time that I caught myself wanting to ask how he’s doing I had to stop the words from coming out by biting down hard on my tongue. I’ll never get over this phase if I don’t try to stop myself from thinking about him and the best way is to achieve that if I don’t know how he’s doing.

I don’t know what I’d want to hear, to be honest. Probably that he feels as shitty as I am. The possibility that my absence didn’t have any effect on him is more likely. Maybe it’s best that I don’t know the answer to that.

There’s a melody that recently got stuck in my head. It feels like it was forever ago that I wrote something on a music sheet.

Lately, I’ve been so lost in my own thoughts that I totally forgot about Namjoon’s offer that I could use one of his rooms to record my things if I want. I feel the urge to go and get this out of my head but the likelihood that I’ll find Yoongi there is what makes me hesitate. There’s a low chance that he could choose the exact time to call it a day when I step foot into the building.

I collect my things and decide it’s worth the risk, Seokjin lets me leave earlier so I can make my way over to Namjoon’s studio. I feel my heartbeat in my throat as I walk past the entrance looking around the empty hallway before snitching the key for studio 1, it’s the farthest away from studio 15, the perfect choice. I only let out a troubled sigh when I know I’m safe behind the studio’s white walls.

It feels like I’ll go mad if I don’t get this song out of my system. My first step is to turn on the computer and get ready by tossing my bag onto the couch and make myself comfortable on the leather seat. I’m not familiar with the program they use here but after some time I have some sense of where to find things.

I get my music sheets out and start recording. The song is incomplete no matter how much time I spend on it, it’s around 2 am that I hear noises coming from the corridor’s direction and then a confident knock shakes me awake.

Rubbing my eyes to get rid of the lingering sleepiness I realise that the song was left on repeat while I was dozing off. Normally there’s no one besides Yoongi who’s crazy enough to stay so late.

I remain still, hoping that he’ll go away if no one answers the door but I don’t have such luck when the doorknob turns only one heartbeat later and I find myself face to face with a surprised-looking Yoongi.

”Y/N.”

It’s been too long that I heard him call my name. I don’t know what to do or say so I stay in my seat.

”Uh, Yoongi. I. I thought that you went home.” Fuck, this is not what I wanted to say at all. What should I do now? Should I make a run for it? I grab the strap of my bag and start to force a bunch of music sheets inside not caring how crumpled they will become. It’s hard to find the strength in my legs as I was sitting on that chair for so long – but I have a feeling that there’s an entirely different reason behind that.

”Y/N, wait.” Yoongi stops me from leaving the room by standing in the way, making my escape impossible. There’s something different about the way he looks at me this time. ”Hear me out first.” Tilting my head to the side I wait for him to elaborate on that. What is left there for us to discuss? Just because sometimes we talked about music and knew each other’s names doesn’t mean that we were friends.

The minutes continue to tick by the silence stretches on as he still doesn’t say a word. I start to run out of patience.

”Look if you don’t have something to say just let me ... hmp” The sudden kiss redeems me speechless. My eyes stay wide open in shock as he presses his lips to mine, his hands are cold on my heated cheeks and I can’t help but shudder from the feeling. He pulls away too soon I couldn’t even get myself to close my eyes before it ended just as absurdly as it started. My mouth opens and closes as I try to find my words but I can’t seem to think of something to say.

My tired mind can’t comprehend what just happened. These last few weeks that I spent in my room laying on my bed restlessly each night with my head filled with thoughts of Yoongi. I’ve never in my wildest dreams thought there’ll be a day that Min Yoongi kisses me on the lips even if it was more like a peck.

After the daze wears off I pull him back to connect our mouths in a real kiss, my hands are fisted in his hoodie as I close the distance between our bodies and his back collides with the wall.

He lets out a painful groan but keeps going, I use this opportunity to slide my tongue into his mouth to deepen the kiss and I relish in the way he explores my mouth with perfect skills. The air around us grows hot quickly as our bodies are firmly pressed against each other inside the dimly lit studio.

There’s no one else here except us so I don’t shy away from pushing my hands under his hoodie and t-shirt to find his flat stomach. Yoongi shudders when I start caressing his sides, feeling brave after realising my willingness to continue he starts his own exploration under my shirt and cups my breasts over my bra.

My sigh is lost inside his mouth as he kisses me with more passion behind each stroke of his tongue getting high on the taste of each other, there’s a couple of seconds we have to separate so he can get rid of my shirt before he continues to kiss down my throat. His hands go to the clasp of my bra to remove the last barrier that covers my upper body. Yoongi soaks in the sight of my bare chest, letting out a deep growl as he leaves kisses on my sternum and shoulders, his cold hands find my erect nipples to gently tug on the sensitive nubs. A moan escapes from the sensation as I blush deeply after hearing the sound in the otherwise silent room. Yoongi keeps teasing as he uses licks and his teeth to get my reaction.

”Please Yoongi.” It’s embarrassing how affected my voice is, my chest heaves as he keeps licking over the sensitive skin on the underside of my breasts. I want him to lick somewhere else but he continues to tease me with his focus remaining on my chest, desperate for some friction I rub my thighs together. It helps me relieve some of the tension but Yoongi catches the motion quickly and spreads my legs with his knee between my thighs. I try to rub against the material of his jeans but he pins my hips to the wall.

”Don’t tease me Yoongi. I won’t let you fuck me if you don’t do s-something this instant.” My voice cracks in the middle as he flexes his thigh against my core, the tiny motion enough to make me moan, all I can think about is that I need more. I want his fingers to fill me up first before I get to sit down on his cock for the main course, all of this is just the appetizer. I want to see the face he makes while I suck him off and make him cum. I want it so badly. Yoongi undoes my jeans and slips them down my legs leaving me to stand only in my underwear while he’s still fully clothed.

”Spread your legs for me baby.” The pet name makes my pussy throb with desire as he lowers himself to the ground, on his knees before my aching centre he separates my folds with two of his fingers. It doesn’t go unnoticed how his gaze is fixed on my glistening core the final blow is when he licks his lips and looks up to catch me staring at him. One hand snakes up my inner thigh and places it on his shoulder getting into a good position to start.

”You’re so beautiful Y/N.” The sweet words that are whispered into my skin make my heart skip an excited beat I never thought getting a compliment from Min Yoongi will be while he’s on his knees ready to eat me out. Not that I’m complaining when he finally licks a long line up from my entrance and ends up with his lips wrapped around my clit to suck gently. My fingers curl into his hair as he buries his face into the juncture between my thighs, his tongue is skilled as he spreads my lubricant all over my pink clit.

I almost bang my head into the wall behind me when he slips two of his fingers past my entrance and sucks harshly, making the blissful feeling dot my vision with white hot pleasure. I can’t help but squirm under his tongue’s strong licks and slender fingers, he learns fast what makes my moan sound higher in pitch. My grip tightens on his dark locks but he pays no mind to the slightest pain that comes from his scalp and doubles his efforts.

His two fingers turn to three as they easily slip in, the wet noises and wanton moans that fill the stuffy air fuels his desire to make me cum around his long fingers before he gets to repeat the same thrusting motions with his cock, can’t wait to finally fill me up. I can’t say I never imagined his fingers in this exact position or around his cock on lonely nights while he pleasures himself with his legs prettily spread on his bed. His thicker fingers can easily make me taste the beginning of my fast approaching orgasm.

I let the feeling wash over me as his digits slow down enough to prolong the high but not overwhelm my senses. Yoongi licks each finger that was inside of me clean and smirks when his eyes find mine looking at him with my pupils dilated and heavy with the remains of the orgasm.

I drag his hoodie and shirt over his head and make quick work on his belt desperate to finally feel him I want to get these clothes off as soon as possible. Yoongi only laughs when I let out a frustrated groan as his pants don’t seem to want to cooperate with me, I give him a warning glare and pull him over to the leather seat. It makes him shut up once I get on my knees in front of him, he lets out a barely audible ’fuck’ and his adam’s apple bobs with the gulp before he grabs my arm and pulls me to sit on his lap instead.

”Later. I don’t think I can go another second while I’m not buried inside this heavenly cunt of yours.” I place my hands on his shoulders to find leverage and nod, I watch him as he positions his cock to rest the wide head right in front of my entrance and I slowly lower my hips to feel his tip stretch my walls open. I take his length slowly but once he’s firmly nestled I give his member a squeeze, making sure that I take all of him I roll my hips and moan when I feel him so firm and thick, it feels so good that I can’t help but squeeze my inner walls again around him that earns a low moan right next to my ears.

”Fuck. I won’t last long. It’s been too long since I was with someone.” Yoongi’s head rests against my shoulder his warm pants are reaching my exposed skin with each syllable. I almost didn’t catch his words as I slowly raised my hip and slammed it down to feel him part my walls and give me the pleasure with a delicious single fast thrust, it gets more euphoric as I continue to bounce on his lap take him in all the way to the hilt.

It’s dirty and fast as our hips meet in the middle of each thrust. Both of our moans are getting louder as it starts to overpower the sounds of skin slapping and the wet noises while the remains of my previous orgasm coat his thick cock every time it slips out, pushing out more of my cum with his powerful thrusts. Yoongi has one goal in mind as he takes control over the motions and grabs my hips to see me cum one more time before he gives in to his own needs and paints my walls with his sticky cum.

I stay firmly seated on his dick even after the high fades away from both of our eyes, suddenly everything goes back to the previous silence but I don’t let things continue in the same fashion as before. This time when I close the distance between us and take his lower lip between my teeth the kiss remains slow and sensual. There’s no more urgency behind each caress as Yoongi tangles his fingers into my hair and guides the angle to perfectly slot our lips together. It’s sweet. Full of emotion as I taste the longing and happiness on his tongue.

Here in Bangtan studios, I found my passion for music again and something even better than that. My true love who’s grumpy even after his morning coffee and can go days without showering when he’s really engrossed in his work. He might not be the best boyfriend material out there but there’s no need to make everything in our lives perfect.

What I realised at the end of this special story of mine is this: turns out it was not a figment of everyone's imagination that Min Yoongi in fact, likes me (too). While we can consider the last dots as the ending, our story will continue to grow and bloom under careful fingers and beautiful songs.

[pynkhues]

Hey queen Can you share 5 of your least favorite or favorite brio scenes from S4?

Hey hey! How about both?

Least Favourite s4 Brio Scenes

5. The group scene at the bar in 4.10.

Look, I don't actually dislike this scene, it's more that Beth had the girls out and Rio didn't even look, which is insulting to both Beth and to us as an audience.

4. The scene in 4.16 where Beth confronts Rio at the bar after he's failed to show up to their meeting

Another one that isn't bad per se, but it's just one I'm a bit indifferent to, which is a shame given it's one of only a couple of scenes with them in the show's final episode. I think s4 struggled sometimes to balance all the facets of who Beth and Rio were and their history together, particularly when it came to having them bicker, and I'll talk about that a bit more later, but I think here is one of the ways it fell flat. It just didn't quite work for me.

3. Their first scene together in Paper Porcupine in 4.01

It was interesting to take a look at all of these scenes together, because my top three I think all face the same issue, which is that the intention behind them is that they're there to drive tension, but that tension feels unearned because the build-up or characterisation isn't there. Their first scene in 4.01 I think is the least inauthentic of them, but it still reeks of exposition and unfortunately it makes the final scene where Beth gets one over him not as satisfying as I think it could've been.

2. The car scene in 4.11 after the failed Canada job

Like #3 on this list, this scene felt like an arbitrary way to build tension and it was compounded by what felt like a flawed plot device (would someone in Rio's shoes really not tell Beth that there'd be people there to keep an eye on things?) which left the whole episode feeling a little unearned. On top of that, the blocking with Rio in the backseat just felt silly, and I feel setting it - say - in her backyard again as a 2.06 parallel would've been a lot more effective overall.

1. Their first scene together in 4.08 where he threatens her family.

I actually really like 4.08 as an episode overall, despite it's (many, haha) flaws, and while the scene of Rio's arrest tends to cop the most (deservedly so) criticism, I actually think it's the scene at the top of the episode that frustrates me the most. Rio threatening Beth's family isn't out of character exactly – he's done it plenty of times before – but the thing is, after Lucy, the threat doesn't wash. Not only do we know Annie and Ruby have plot armor, but Rio choosing to kill Lucy instead of Annie or Ruby ultimately compounded with Rio not killing Dean to prove one, undeniable fact:

Rio is not going to hurt Beth's family, because he knows if he did, it would be over, and he'd lose her.

As a result, using this as a threat doesn't work and the fact that the show kept going back there when there were plenty of other ways Rio could've forced her hand (especially in the sense of her reputation which is something that's so important to her), feels like lazy writing and disingenuous to where they are at this point in their arc.

It's a testament to the show broadly that threats that worked in s1 don't work in s4 – it really demonstrates the growth of both the characters and the relationship – so the fact that they'd fall back on it narratively is something I ultimately find very frustrating.

Favourite s4 Brio Scenes

5. Dean's interruption in 4.10

As I mentioned above, I think s4 struggled a bit to balance the danger, trauma, snark and intimacy that really was at the heart of Beth and Rio's relationship in season 4, so when they finally really nailed it in 4.10, it just utterly delighted me. There's such a bounce to this entire exchange, and it feels lived in and exasperated and snarky in all the best ways.

The way Beth just seizes up on Dean's arrival too as Rio deliberately switches gears to play up the intimacy that's always there, but wasn't the focus of this particular meeting - - I just love it, and it feels possessive and territorial on both their parts as Beth tries to protect her space with Rio and Rio sprawls - - just yes. I love it, haha. Almost as much as I love:

4. Beth and Rio in her car in 4.02.

Funnily enough, I think I love this scene for a similar reason to why I love the scene in 4.10. Where 4.10 is lived in though - Beth and Rio settled into a new level of security with one another - this scene is still charged with uncertainty. It balances the naturalness of their banter and bickering with the unstable ground of not just their work, but their relationship. Things don't feel settled between them, but getting in the car still feels like the easiest thing for Beth to do, and after a stilted 4.01, it was pretty magic to see their chemistry crackle again in such a quiet scene.

3. "All You gotta do is ask." 4.15.

It's absolutely a testament to how much I love the next two scenes that this is this low, because oh, man, I love this scene. The warmth of it! The intimacy! The tentative communication. The k n o c k i n g. *sobs*. This is pretty much everything I've wanted for them over the course of the series, and the fact that we got it right before the cancellation is so personal to me.

2. All of 4.06

Okay, this is a cheat, haha, but I honestly adore the entire episode, not even just the back rub and the fingering! The introductions! The stress! And most importantly, the fantasies. Beth hearing Rio ask her not to let him down in her head rips something open in me every time, because it so perfectly encapsulates her complicated, messy, sometimes ugly feelings for him. She gets accused of being selfish by this fandom a lot, and she is, but I don't think it's as simple as that either. Beth's a survivor and she's seen a reflection of herself in Rio, and he in her, and it means that failing each other is failing themselves, and both become unimaginable for Beth.

It's something deeper than lust and attraction, than that chemical draw. She wants to do right by him, still, simply because she wants to.

It just speaks to this thing at the heart of them, and the way it built across the episode as they were both revealing and concealing is just one of the reasons why I love the ship this much.

1. Beth gives Rio Dave / Fitzpatrick in 4.04

There's nothing I don't love about this scene. From the very-almost-real conversation to the jokes, to the exhaustion that radiates off both of them, to the fact that Beth uses Rio to kill his own hitman - a move both ruthless and so wonderfully encapsulating of Beth's growth and moral slide - - it just feels to me like what this show, and this ship, is at it's best. They're not easy, or pure, or anything close to uncomplicated, and when the show leans into that, I really do think its at its best.

I know not everyone liked it, but I always loved the way this show never told you how to feel about anyone or anything. People are messy, and Beth and Rio more than most, and the show just let them be that way. That messiness is what let them claw their way to something close to equal ground – not an easy feat when you consider the vast power divide between them in s1 – and it was a rocky, frustrating, exhausting path for the characters (and sometimes us as viewers too, haha), but scenes like this where the show just embraced all of that? Including the rocky, frustrating, exhausting parts? Honestly, it's TV magic for me.

Send me things to rank!

[anzcty]

Analysing Episode 6 Sylvie - her actions, her choice and a whole bunch of theories (Spoilers!)

After watching the Loki finale, I have been scrolling through Tumblr for quite a long time. I already knew that people's opinions were gonna be incredibly different but I definitely did not expect this much negative backlash. Especially when it comes to two specific topics - the Sylvie and Loki kiss and Sylvie's betrayal (/choice/actions). I'm gonna be talking about the latter, for it is another time I'll talk a lot about Sylki's relationship. (Beware that this post is also really long though)

First of all, everyone has different opinions and I respect that. I absolutely adore movies, books, TV-shows and videogames because despite what's happening within the story, each viewer has the opportunity to see something else in what they are shown (besides the obvious canon). What I mean is that everyone interprets certain scenes differently and gains the opportunity to make up theories. Therefore I want to clarify that I do, by no means, want to force my views upon others. It's nice to see people talk about the Loki Series (as long as it doesn't get too negative and hateful, iykwim) because every viewer can share their specific experiences with it :)

I'm gonna analyse Sylvie's character a bit ( because, well, I'm bored and I kinda wanna protect my beloved character that I've only had for a few weeks >:^0 AND the only thing I could think about the past day was this episode) and try to explain her actions in the finale (keep in mind: not justifying them, but explaining them).

I'm terribly bad at concentrating on one single topic point so I kinda made a 'list' with questions and whatnot that I wanted to dive deeper into. Your thoughts are also more than welcome!

I already want to apologise for grammatical mistakes, for I am not a native english speaker.

Sylvie's reason for being taken away by the TVA is still kinda unknown

You know, I've heard quite a few theories about Sylvie's nexus event by now. Some people say that she got taken away because she was playing with her toys in a way that indicates her having a good heart (playing as a Valkyrie and wanting to save someone, another hint may also be the reaction she showed towards someone else who got kidnapped by the TVA, yelling at the soldiers to "help them out"). Another theory is that she already knew she was adopted, unlike Loki who found out way later than her. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but we never got to hear the actual reason why Sylvie got kidnapped. Even Renslayer didn't say a word about it.

Now I'm gonna come up with yet another theory. What if Sylvie didn't really have a nexus event in the first place how we know it? In the final episode, Kang has said that he has planned out everything beforehand so both Loki and Sylvie would end up right in front of him. Did Kang's plan also possibly involve him getting killed by Sylvie? Hear me out: We don't actually know if the Kang we saw in episode 6 is the actual 'nice' Kang and not one of his evil variants. He has already talked about 'reincarnation', so who says that after ending the first universial war, Kang didn't reincarnate into someone with an unpure heart (aka, one of his evil variants)? That'd mean that the real Kang would have been killed and the Kang we've seen in the finale is actually an evil version that simply lied to both Loki and Sylvie. Besides that, we also don't know if Kang actually had that 'point' where he didn't know what would happen next. The show revolves a whole lot around trust, not only regarding the characters, but also the viewers. Who's to say that Kang said the truth? Maybe he planned it all out: He created the TVA, let Sylvie get kidnapped and therefore give her a reason to hunt after Kang, who in return could reincarnate if he got killed OR get killed and therefore give his other variants a possibility to conquer the universes yet again. Don't you think that it was kinda suspicious that Sylvie escaped so easily out of Renslayer's hands? The one person who's probably closest to Kang? (Even though, yes, she doesn't know who he is but Renslayer seems to play a very important role in his plan). What if the Kang we saw was the nice Kang though? Would he plan everything up to a point where another universial war would break out because he might know that there is indeed something/someone out there who could end it and therefore, possibly end Kang as a whole or create a new kind of system revolving around the universe? And therefore, get rid of the possibility of another universial war happening? Who knows. I am definitely overthinking and reaching at this point. One more thing that stood out to me while thinking about the episode again today (which kinda weighs more into my theory of Sylvie being a keypoint (or rather a puppet) in this plan): Kang has talked about his Tempad and that he knew that he would need it to have enough energy. But for what? Yes, his initial idea was to give it to Loki and Sylvie to rule over the TVA, but what if it was supposed to be used for another reason? Sylvie used it to transport Loki back to the TVA (though I kinda think he was accidentally transported to another timeline, hence the reactions of both Mobius and Hunter B-15) and therefore get rid of the only thing that could prevent Sylvie from killing Kang. The Tempad was used to secure Sylvie's path and therefore eradicated Kang's only option of safety. You can see the Tempad loosing it's glow after Kang was killed, possibly due to Kang himself being the origin of it's energy. But maybe, it only had enough energy for one specific action: getting rid of Kang's protection. I do think that Sylvie is now stuck at this place and somehow has to find a way back to Loki's reality. The Tempad clearly doesn't work anymore (at least in my opinion) and there was quite a long shot showing the Tempad up close, which is kinda suspicious tbh. Also, something regarding Sylvie's unanswered nexus event feels kinda odd to me, too.

My theory in conclusion: Sylvie (and Loki) are unconciously helping Kang with his plan (a big, big, BIG plan). They're his puppets, especially Sylvie, because she's the one who created the Multiverse to begin with. Think about Loki, who was said to be manipulated by Thanos in Avengers? It's basically the same train of thoughts.

Sylvie does not take Kang's offer into consideration

To be honest, this was something to be absolutely expected of her. Sylvie was kidnapped as a child, taken away from her home and family, and had to grow up in countless apocalypses where she could never form a real bond with anybody because she knew that those people were all going to die anyway. (Please don't judge me if I got that wrong, maybe I understood the next thing wrong? Idk, if so, I'm very sorry) She revealed that she was kidnapped way before Loki was even born (something I have to think about, too, because, if Loki is the actual Loki the other variants are based off, why did he exist after Sylvie? Wouldn't that make him a variant of Sylvie instead? Idk timelines and parallel universes are hard to understand for me :') I'm kinda stoopid ), therefore she must've had spent several decades of her life running away. She had no life at all. Her only goal was to bring down the TVA and whoever is behind it, driven by pure rage, seeking out revenge for stealing her life and basically forbidding her existence. And now that she has found said person, the only thing that'd be right for her character would be to go for the kill. As immoral as it may sound, it is the only thing that makes sense. And I am actually very happy that Sylvie's goals didn't change besides the fact that she did indeed soften up a little and has gotten someone really close to her. In contrary, it makes sense for Loki to do the exact opposite. His goals have changed. He does not act the way he did in Thor or Avengers anymore. He has found another goal for himself: to make Sylvie feel alright. He has had immense character growth and didn't take a chance to change his goals back in the Thor movies or in Avengers, (....maybe later in Thor: Ragnarok, kinda). This is exactly what I think might happen to Sylvie, too. She is at the beginning of her character arc. She doesn't take the chance to change her goal, but goes for her original goal instead. Said goal does not really have positive consequences (though, maybe it might have some? We're about to find out), which results in a so called 'negative character development', which Loki has already gone through. I think that Sylvie is gonna grow as a character in season 2 and get a positive character development in addition, just like Loki did. I highly doubt that she's gonna become the antagonist, it does not make sense at this point.

Why does she not take Kang's offer (besides her very obvious intention ofc)? That leads straight (or not so straight, pun intended) to the next thing I wanna talk about. Sylvie's distrust in everything and everyone. Besides not wanting to let other people go through what she has been gone through and wanting to let people have a free will, she also does not trust Kang with his offer of 'ruling' the timeline. And it might be because she also does not trust the one she'd be ruling with: Loki.

Why does Sylvie not trust Loki?

I don't even have a specific answer to that, except that Sylvie has an incredibly thick wall built up around her. Loki has always been portrayed as the one you should not trust because he's known for backstabbing people. Loki could have thought the same about Sylvie, but he didn't. Due to his character arc, he himself has learned to trust other people and tries to redeem himself with making himself a person others can trust (He may project that onto Sylvie, meaning that he puts his trust into a Loki variant and therefore in himself, too). You can connect that fact with both Sylvie and Mobius. They're both people who are incredibly important to Loki. He wants them to trust him. He openly told Sylvie about his mistakes and tells her that he's not that person anymore. Sylvie on the other hand does not trust that easily and is - in my opinion - a very important key regarding Loki's character development. It is incredibly hard for Sylvie to trust others (probably due to her trauma) and it therefore creates a very difficult situation for Loki, where he has to 'prove' himself as trustworthy. It's basically about 'trusting yourself' if you put it that way. It's something Loki has to learn about himself: not betraying the trust of others. Sylvie might have to learn something like this, too: learning to trust someone else. It's kinda like a two sided coin - one side is about putting trust in others, whereas the other is about gaining trust from others (and what you do with it). (Good) Relationships in general are always based off trust and honesty. So in order for them to be able to have healthy relationships with others and themselves, they have to learn about trust within themselves (I hope you understand my point, I got carried away, sorry). Loki started to trust Sylvie very easily (maybe because of love? Maybe because of something else? There are still a lot of unanswered questions) whereas Sylvie doesn't trust Loki very easily. Sylvie's character arc might (hopefully) carry on with this topic in the next season.

Was that kiss initiated due to emotional or practical reasons?

Kinda both, somehow. I do think that Sylvie used the kiss to her advantage but you can also clearly see how moved she is while hearing Loki's words. Facial expressions are insanely important when it comes to acting and both Tom and Sophia delivered perfectly. You might've already heard of the quote "The eyes tell more than words could ever say". Look at Sylvie's face when Loki tells her that he wants her to be okay. She is teary eyed, sighs even. She is indeed touched by his words and I strongly think that Sylvie also has non-platonic feelings for Loki, despite barely showing anything.

Here's a snippet out of an interview with Sophia:

(Source)

Both Sylvie and Loki are said to be people who can not trust others. They both have a vulnerable side though. Loki clearly showed that several times when with Sylvie (singing to her, the blanket scene, the comfort scene in the room of the timekeepers, the confession of wanting her to be okay) and is also shown incredibly vulnerable at the end of episode 6: there are several shots showing him, crying. Sure, we have already seen Loki cry a few times beforehand but this time, it's different. He cries because the one person he is the most vulnerable with doesn't trust him, and that does hurt like hell. By the way, if you look at the close-up shot of Sylvie after she yeeted Loki back into the TVA, you can see pain in her eyes, too. But that pain quickly shifts into rage and determination. Something that I have to admit was incredibly well executed by Sophia and the people who directed this shot. Sylvie does show her vulnerable side for a brief moment before putting up her walls again and reaching for her goal.

In conclusion: I think Sylvie initiated the kiss as an emotional response to Loki's words but also used it to distract him to be able to kick him back into the TVA at the same time. Keep in mind that it was because he was in her way of fullfilling her goal. She didn't want to kill or hurt him, so she sent him away instead. So, yes, I think the kiss had both emotional and practical intentions.

Did Sylvie betray Loki?

Even though it really felt like she betrayed him, she didn't. Let me tell you why:

Loki knew exactly what Sylvie was gonna do after reaching the person behind the TVA. Loki supported her all the way up until Kang suggested a deal to them, that's where Loki's and Sylvie's paths divided. Loki is a very smart character, he outsmarts a lot of Marvel characters and therefore I think it's very in character for him to consider one part of the deal and outweigh the pros and cons. Not because he wants the throne, no, but because he wants Sylvie to be okay. A universial war could lead to countless casualties - possibly those people close around him, so of course he would want to keep her safe through that decision. Making them both rulers over the TVA and the sacred timeline would probably guarantee a strong protection from several threats. Also, maybe he thought about the possibility of Sylvie regretting her decision (which she clearly did in the end) and wanted to protect her from even more emotional pain. But as we know, Sylvie's intention has always been laid out in front of her and it didn't change. Loki knew what choice she was going to make and merely tried to change her way - without being successfull.

I don't really know what to think about this scene though. To me, it doesn't meet the requirements of a 'betrayal' but at the same time it does feel like one. It's very difficult to explain :'D

Also, I've seen some people asking themselves how or if Loki will ever be able to forgive Sylvie for making her decision. Let me assure you one thing: he will forgive her. He has said it himself: "I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through". He has been at Sylvie's point, too. Not only once, but several times already. He seems to have learned from his mistakes, Sylvie has yet to do so. ("I betrayed everyone I've ever loved" is a line to keep in mind now, too. Maybe it could even be projected onto Sylvie this time, because Loki is indeed very dear to her) If there's someone out there who can empathise with Sylvie the most, it is Loki.

Why would Sylvie straight up cause another Universial War?

As I already said. Sylvie's arc is a negative character arc. It does not end well and causes a lot of chaos. Think about Peter Quill in Infinity War and his rage moment on Titan. They could have had the infinity gauntlet way before but Peter got emotional (understandable) and therefore destroyed the chance of an early good ending. The same happened with Sylvie. Her decision was mostly emotional, but also practical on the other hand (giving people free will and freedom). She will face the consequences and I'm pretty sure she's gonna redeem herself and tries to help fix the big mess she has caused.

Sylvie's breakdown

Another scene that was absolutely brilliant was the scene after Sylvie has killed Kang. She backs off slowly and then slumps to the ground, breathing heavily (now that I think about it, I think she even started to cry). She has waited for this moment her whole life, but now that it's done, it kinda feels like she didn't exactly get what she needed. Hunter B-15 has already mentioned it before that Sylvie needs to hunt the person behind the TVA down, unlike Renslayer, who only wants to find out who it really is. Although Sylvie might have recognized that this wasn't everything she needed at this point. We already got to know that she didn't have a clue what to do after she's done with the TVA. She didn't have a goal beyond that. And now that she has reached the point where she is clueless, she might have recognized what she really needed beyond finishing her goal: friends, a life, literally anything that doesn't make her feel alone. And she literally just kicked that one thing away from her. Loki, the one person who has been closest to her and gave her the feeling of not being alone anymore, the feeling of having a friend (or someone more than a friend), has been pushed away by herself. I think that in this exact moment where she sinks to the ground she recognizes that not trusting Loki was a mistake this time and that revenge isn't enough to satisfy her forever.

But maybe that one thing that will satisfy her for a long time is something she's returning back to in season 2. I am so excited to see her again and find out more about Sylvie's character!

Thank you so much for reading this! If you want to add something to this list or correct something or anything, feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sylvie's character in the finale and what you think might happen with her in season 2 :) see y'all, stay safe and have a nice day/night!

[wolfpants]

Hello lovely! I just wondered if you could talk through your fic outlines in more detail? Newbie writer over here. Thank you for all your advice! You're amazing x

Hi there!

YOU are amazing! And I firmly believe that anyone can write, if they want to. All you have to do is want to do it, and trust me, the words will come. You just need to start!

I wrote a little about outlining in this anon ask.

But if you want something a little more detailed I will try my best, and I'll use my process for writing Pages of You because it's fresh in my mind and I still have all of the plans written out.

And I'll also preface this by saying again: I'm not an expert. I've only been publishing fic since August. Some more seasoned writers might have better insights than I do, but here's what I did for this particular fic:

The first thing I do when planning a story is create a folder for it on my Google Drive: this way, all of my "bits" stay together, from my chapters (I use one doc per chapter) to my outline doc itself, to anything else I include there (picture collages, links to websites I might use for research, that sort of thing; I also rewatched You've Got Mail for inspiration and wrote a bunch of notes to refer to).

Speaking of You've Got Mail - that was my step two. Because I knew I wanted to pull out some influences and scenes from this film, I picked out a few things I knew I wanted to include, including the infamous scene where Tom Hanks's character eats all of the caviar at the dinner party (Draco eats all of the macarons at the business mixer). So I laced these ideas together, made a note of them, and this is where I started my fuzzy outline.

While I left that to simmer, the next thing I did was write 2 short biographies for Harry and Draco, so I knew where they would be at during the start of the story:

... god, I actually used the word yuppie!? Anyway, moving on...

Once I got a feel for who these boys were in this world (including putting some work into how they look: see my Harry mood board), I started drafting out my chapter plans. I always think it's a good idea to think of chapters as mini stories within themselves: they have a beginning, a middle, an end. They don't always have to have a resolution, but I find it helpful to make sure they tie up in a way that a) leaves something answered that was questioned earlier in the chapter, and b) opens up a hook for the beginning of the next chapter, or a continuation.

For example, here is my original outline for Chapters 1 and 2, and this is how I usually sketch them out - by listing what I want to happen:

In writing them, I don't always stick to everything as planned, but I make sure I at least hit all of the major events I wanted to cover: like, Dean and Harry hooking up; Harry getting his summer job; sequence of the letters; Malfoy's opening sign and the family's reaction to it.

And I tend to write all of these out until I come to the end of my story. I will rarely start something without knowing how it ends, but that doesn't mean I don't add little bits and pieces here and there, such as:

speech and dialogue that pops into my head (often while out for a run)

bits and pieces of desktop research (for example, I listened to a podcast series about queer life in the late 70s/80s to get an idea of what club life would be like for Harry, when on his trip to York)

character development

Dean was never supposed to have as prominent a role as he ended up having; I extended out and included some additional chapters to involve him more, and more interaction with Harry via the telephone calls. And Regulus was never meant to have his own chapter either, or much of a part to play really other than the role of the snarky Uncle figure. But he had such a strong voice as I was writing him, and he became really parallel to what Draco was, who he was growing up to be, so it made sense to flesh him out and also take charge of Draco's living situation when Draco was disowned by Lucius and Narcissa. I actually really love this part of the story, and it was never in my original plan.

So that's how I outlined Pages of You. It's not a cut and dry formula; my plans never are. They take lives of their own as I write and I end up forming more chapters as the story flows, but as long as I know where my protagonist(s) starts and then ends up within the story, I feel confident to begin writing.

I hope this helps. I have tons of other meta on Pages of You if you're interested in scrolling through the tag.

[lnterjection]

Sleepy Bois Inc and DSMP Fanfic Recs

Uhhh I realized I have a ton of stuff in my bookmarks list and might as well compile a list of favorites because I’m always looking for good fanfics, and this might help some people. Most of these are SBI, though a few focus on things other than their dynamic with each other. Nothing explicit here. Feel free to suggest more recs. 

Fics set in DSMP universe/about DSMP (One-shots first, then longer fics):

One-shots and series of one-shots-

therein lies the madness by sapphicist - 2095 words. Currently says it’s one chapter out of three complete, but can be read as a standalone one-shot. Nice introspective fic on Tommy’s exile and his parallels with Theseus. In 2nd person, but it’s actually done nicely. Mostly angsty, can have hopeful interpretation depending on how you look at it. 

crazy how life goes on without me (2090 words, one-shot) by itisjosh - What if Ghostbur did remember everything, and just pretended to be clueless and vapid? Made me cry. It’s so good. Tortured my heart. 

the inner mechanism of a black box (13521 words, one-shot) by Bee_4 - only work of a series called “system theory”. “Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault. There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.” Yeah so Techno’s mental health goes out the window in this one and its written brilliantly. There’s comfort at the end, if it helps? 

A State For One Man Is No State At All (5247 words, two-shot) by angstfortheangstgod - “A different version of the festival, in which Dream shows up unarmed, the Community House is left intact, a traitor is executed, and Tommy doesn't betray Technoblade.” Ranboo centric. Angst and comfort. 

All the Kings Men series by MollyPollyKinz - “After Ghostbur's suggestion to do Lads on Tour, Tommy finds himself reunited with his family. However, escaping from Dream is going to be harder than anyone previously thought.” A connected series of one-shots and short fics about Tommy, his exile, his family, and escaping Dream. Well written, good characterization, great studies into the characters themselves.

ad astra per aspera series by cacowhistle - Collection of one-shots that start with Tommy’s exile and expand to be about SBI and their dynamic with each other, including a resurrected Wilbur. Really, really well written and probably my favorite of the “Tommy exile fic groups”. 

the fall of a hero series by cracklesnaple - “After being threatened with being exiled yet again, Tommy takes the decision into his own hands. If those around him can't see that he's given up everything to make this nation what it is, then he's not sure he can stay in L'Manburg any longer.” Series about SBI and mainly Tommy, eventually crossing over into Mianite territory in a way some might enjoy and some might now. Writing’s good, though, which is what I care about.

Longer fics-

Rewind (101002 words, 25 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - Best time travel fix-it fic I’ve ever read period. Tubbo and Tommy travel 10 years back from a very messed up future to the first L’Manberg election. Concept may seen a bit weird at first but trust me, holy fuck this is amazing. 

second chances (hurt the most) (8841 words, 4 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - “Wilbur wakes up alone in a bloody room, and has to come to terms with living again. (How can he go on, knowing who's blood is on his hands?)”. Amazing fic where resurrection requires someone else’s life as sacrifice. Phil is dead. Wilbur struggles to come to terms with his father’s decision, and his second chance. 

all scotch, no soda (47466 words, 43 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by fishstixx - “Vulnerability meant trust, though, and trust was a thing not so easily given. Post-exile and canon divergent, follows the consequences of Tommy’s isolation. Expect chases, heists, bloodshed, and the mending of a family.” Features raccon hybrid Tommy being badass, and I live for it. I really, really love this one. 

DON’T FORGET THAT ICARUS FLEW. (16426 words, 6/10 chapters, last updated Jan 1. 2021) by orpheusaki - “The day before and the days that follow Tommy's exile; told through the eyes of The Blood God.” Techno (and Dream) is a god, and gods often forget how the intricacies of the minds of mortals. He’s trying to get better, however. 

what do you fall for? (16374 words, complete) by tablrcloth - Ranboo centric fic with Techno, Phil and Tommy. Ranboo realizes that playing L’Manberg’s politics is less than ideal for him. What can I say, it’s just really good. 

Breathing’s Just a Rhythm (12631 words, 6 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by MollyPollyKinz - “Tommy, Tubbo, Jschlatt, and Dream all end up in the past. (Oh, and the Chat comes too).” Great time travel fic. 

What World Have We Inherited? (73635 words, 12 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Dec 22 2020) by Anonymous (this one has a series with all their works, and they’re all AMAZING). Holy fuck this one is probably one of my favorite fics in the fandom so far. “Wilbur blows everything to hell on the day of the Manburg festival, just like he wanted. When the ashes settle, it's just Tommy and Technoblade. It's not good, but it's better than nothing. It's just them, healing up in a world that never wanted them.” Amazing characterization, worldbuilding, everyone’s internal thoughts are portrayed and written so well. Even if it never updates again I would keep coming back to it. I rec this Anon’s works so much. 

In June, I Changed My Tune (29489 words, 6 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Jan 6 2021) by KryOnBlock - Eret runs away and eventually becomes friends with Techno. Nice cottagecore aesthetic. I have mixed feelings about this one - the writing’s good, descriptions and characterizations are really good. Just that there’s consistent punctuation mistakes and it takes me out of the world a bit. Everything else is good enough for me to continue reading, however. 

stay with him (24353 words, 12 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 9 2021) by junipersand - I especially rec the first chapter, which can be read (and originally was) a standalone fic with the summary “Every ghost had a purpose to fulfill. So what was Tommy’s?” Utterly heartwrenching, probably the most emotionally gut-punching bit of writing I’ve ever read in this fandom. It continues with other lore stuff afterwards that eventually branch off from just SBI and Tommy, but man. I don’t think I can ever forget that first chapter. 

I’m not angry at you, well, sometimes I am (52801 words, 16 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by sircantus - After Tommy is exiled, he runs away to Techno’s house instead of going off with Dream. SBI decide some revenge and “world domination” is in order. 

Fics set in AUs outside DSMP happenings:

One-shots and series of one-shots-

Empty Crowns AU by UnderUrsa - the SBI + Tubbo are gods, and a family. Series of one-shots. Nicely written, what can I say? Some angst, some fluff.

Secure, Contain, Protect AU by blue000jay - Amazingly written SCP AU. Knowledge of the SCP universe would help with understanding some more meta things, but is not needed to understand most of it. Some angst, disturbing themes around memories but nothing terribly gory.

CLASSIFIEDS. (13804 words, finished). SCP pages on SBI, short stories and audio transcriptions as well as files, lots of good lorebuilding here. Features an escape, + Tubbo!

CONFIDENTIALS. (13232 words, finished). Centers on Dream Team.

ARCHIVES. (1270 words, one-shot). What happened after SBI and Tubbo’s escape from the SCP foundation.

old gods (new gods) AU by WriterWinged - the relatively well known SBI gods AU. Amazingly written, great character interpretations. 

the gods are cruel (none crueler then you) (1394 words, one-shot) - As much the grammatical mistake in the title hurts me it’s no doubt one of the best pieces of work in the fandom. 

and yet they find kindness (and so do you) (2/4 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”. 

there’s a risk to the world (but the kindest are strongest) (2/3 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”. 

SBI Antarctic Princes AU by ScripWriter -  One of several Antarctic Empire AUs, this one just has these two preliminary one-shots but they’re nice bits of fun and neatly written. All fluff and mild hurt with lots of comfort so far. 

Younger Holding On Another (1781 words, one-shot). Techno is a good brother and reassures and newly adopted Tommy. 

But Oh, Don’t You Know How It Goes (2511 words. one-shot). Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur have some “fun” at a boring gala. Phil is very exasperated. 

Antarctic Princes ‘verse AU by BirchWrites - AU where Techno, Tommy, and Wilbur are princes of the Antarctic Empire (well, Techno’s technically the emperor now), but this time the events of DSMP still happen (at least up to the 1st season).

Homeward bound for the arctic ground (10562 words, one-shot). Wilbur and Tommy travel to the Antarctic Empire in person to ask Techno for help in fighting Schlatt. Good worldbuilding and acknowledges Wilbur’s beginnings of insanity while still being rather light.

Surprise Hugs (2542 words, one-shot). Dream doesn’t realize Tommy is Techno’s brother and thinks he’s going to get killed for tackling the infamous Blood God.

Family Reunions (1396 words, one-shot). Fundy never realized he’s loyalty and Techno informs him unexpectedly.

Longer fics-

leave me your starlight (14620 words, 4 chapters, unfinished and last updated Jan 11 2021) by findingkairos - “Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war. This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.“ Amazing backstory fic on Phil and Techno’s relationships, one of my absolute personal favorites. Very well written and really digs into the intricacies of Techno’s character (or an interpretation of it, but hey, that’s what all fanfiction is).

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight (21736 words, 5 chapters, last updated Jan 13 2021) by sircantus - another Antarctic princes AU, this time centering on 16 year old Tommy catching the attention of Phil, Techno, and Wilbur after thwarting an assassination attempt. Really well written. Actually, I rec all of sircantus’ SBI stuff because they do amazing work.

antarctic adage (26591 words, 4/7 chapters posted, last updated Jan 13 2021) by blue000jay - Another very well written Antarctic princes AU with Emperor/ruler Phil. Are we seeing a pattern yet? blue000jay is another writer I’d rec, with really great SBI stuff.

a renewal of faith, and of family (56684 words, 31 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 13 2021) by SolivangantStories - One of the only fics here that doesn’t feature SBI, this one is Tubbo and Dream centered. Basically, the DSMP!Tubbo is executed by Schlatt and wakes up in a world where Manhunt!Dream is trying not to die and is also actually a nice person, to Tubbo’s surprise and confusion. Not SBI and technically not even DSMP, but it’s really good so I’ve decided to rec it anyway.

[loreweaver-universe]

And that’s...the show.

Man.  What a show.  That kept me guessing all the way through.  The core mystery of is-it-magic-is-it-not really kept me going for a while there.  A compelling cast of characters, too--even the one I utterly fucking despised.

Tsukiko and Ikari’s parallel stories converging as each of them hits the breaking point and finds it within themselves to accept the way things truly are was masterfully done.  And that’s all it took, in the end--looking within oneself and no longer denying the truth defeated both of their inner demons and in the process saved countless lives.  We could all do with a bit more introspection from time to time.

“My place disappeared from this world a long time ago. The reality is that there is no place for me anymore. But that’s the reality I have to face!”

The world changes, the world moves on.  It’s up to us to decide if we want to join the new world or whether we want to wallow in our self-pity over being left behind.  That is definitely a lesson a lot of people in the modern day need to learn, and the source of no small amount of societal ills befalling us.  Words of wisdom.

As for the individual victims of Li’l Slugger...I wish we got resolutions for some of them.  Taeko in particular being amnesiac and back in the grip of her pedophile father seems a rather horrific end.  Harumi also makes me wish we’d gotten a resolution to her issues; I’ll forever wonder if she got treatment, if she resolved her DID or if it consumed her and destroyed her marriage.

Hopefully Maniwa’s getting the help he needs.  He’s in the care of a mental hospital, at least, though I don’t know how well he’s being treated.  What would you call his deal, anyways?  A psychotic break?  Paranoid schizophrenia where the paranoia part happens to be about something that actually happened?  Or is it just “Mental IllnessTM” and leaving it at that?

And...Tsukiko.  Tsukiko, who appears to have moved on with her life to some degree.  (How she managed that swim back home is beyond me.)  It’s not like anyone would...actually, hrm.  The destruction happened after all the Maromi merch in the country spontaneously vanished.  I’ll bet at the very minimum Tsukiko is the subject of some very dedicated conspiracy theory communities, even if the larger society doesn’t have enough information to put together her involvement.  Still, she’s moved on, past the disaster she was responsible for; I’m not sure what sort of consequences she should have actually seen, in a Watsonian sense, but approaching it with Doylist intent, the message of finding peace and moving on after accepting the truth trumps that.

This is the first of Satoshi Kon’s works I’ve seen, though I’d seen a copy of Tokyo Godfathers on my local library’s shelves years ago--I meant to borrow it, but never did.  Maybe I should change that; this was certainly an excellent work, one I’d happily seek out more of.

Rest in peace, Satoshi Kon.  You’ve touched the world, by all accounts, and you especially touched the patron who chose this show.

Thank you, by the way.  This was an excellent show, and your support over the past two years has helped me immensely.  I’m glad we’re friends.

Well!  That’s Paranoia Agent.  That’s the end of this particular Patron Pick; the patron opened up their spot and another took their place immediately, so in the next cycle of liveblogs you’ll be seeing something new!  It’ll be a surprise, though, since I’m sure a bunch of you are excited to see me do it.  That’ll be it for tonight; up next is going to be Baccano, which we’ll continue Wednesday.  Also, tomorrow, I’ll be completing my playthrough of Resident Evil Village on the hardest difficulty, so tune in at my Twitch channel or catch old streams on my Youtube if you’d like!

As always, thank you for tuning in, and thank you to my 62 patrons who make it so I can do this for a living!  And especially thank you to the people who have been so kind as to donate over the past few months of mental health issues I’ve been having, you’ve been lifesavers.  I’ll see you guys next time!

IN OTHER NEWS:

I recently completed my blind playthrough of Resident Evil Village!  You can see the full playlist of those streams by clicking here!

If you’d like to help me pay my rent, buy me some food, or help with my bills and medicine, please use my direct donation link!  If you’d like to support me per liveblog completed every month, please pledge to my Patreon! Becoming a patron not only allows you to vote on what shows I do whenever I choose a new one, but also grants access to the community Minecraft server to $5 patrons or higher!

You should also go pledge to Gio’s Patreon, or his Sponsus–our Discord server maintenance tech, creator of Rubybot, and community Minecraft server overlord deserves far more than I can afford to pledge to him by myself.

If you’d like more of me and my content:

My Episode Lists master page, where you can find every show and liveblog I’ve done!

My Discord server, where you can come hang out with me and other fans, check out member liveblogs, and join community gaming guilds!

My Twitch channel, where I stream variety games every so often!

My Youtube channel, where you can check out past streams!

My ask blog, where you can send me questions and comments!

My Twitter, where I make announcements about liveblogs and streams!

It’s your kindness and support that lets me do this stuff, and I wouldn’t be where I am without all of you to do it for.  Thank you all so much for your support, and for tuning in every episode!

OTHER PEOPLE YOU MAY ENJOY:

I may have been one of the earlier Steven Universe liveblogs, but a whole community of livebloggers has sprung up over the last five years!   I linked to a bunch individually for a few wrap-ups, but honestly, this end-slate is already eight billion miles long, so I’m just gonna link to my links page.  Click here if you want recommendations of other livebloggers, or other neat people, or webcomics and podcasts that I recommend.