#and bash on oot to do it

[gerudospiriit]

[Wow, someone actually pointing out how crazy and irresponsible it is for the goddesses to create something like the Triforce and just leave it lying around? So far that's been the best thing about A Link to the Past.]

[howlingday]

Irish jaune au

Jaune is the same, except he's Irish, so he's barely eligible. And when a usra bites him, it dies of alcohol possession. Beacon discover his tolerance for alcohol when he chalinges the school to a drinking game for 10$ each. Back to back, he wins. Even beating qrow.

On the one hand, this could be seen as offensive. On the other hand, I know just the Irish character to use...

--------------------------------------------------

"I'm sure one day you'll learn to love it..."

Jaune: But he was wrong. I dinnae like it. Winchester, yer drunk. Piss-faced drunk. On power, authority, and influence. OZMA is supposed tae be an arm of violence, an ah'm just a man-killing meat cleaver. It's ma only power by which tae serve the people.

Jaune: Winchester, noo, ye've quit serving people. A' ye're serving is HER power. Eh? Isnae that right?

Jaune: ARCHKING CARDINAL?

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Now what can I do for ya, Father Qrow O'm'ly'O'C'nel'O'C'rol'O'Rily'O'Bri'n'O'Sul'van.. Ah-who is also Italian.

Qrow: Tell-a me, Arc, what is your favorite thing to do?

Jaune: Spreading the word and eternal love of The Brothers at the many people of the world. Teaching peace and love for all.

Qrow: And-a killing-a Grimm?

Jaune: Oh, just try tae fuckin' stop me~!

Qrow: And what about... Oumists?

Jaune: Second verse, same as the first! Now put me on ae plane so Ah can put 'em in ae hearse~!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (In Glynda's face) HAHAHAHAHAHA! DID YE HEAR, NORA?! DID YE HEAR, REN?! With ae bleeding nose and ae veritable freak force 'afore her?!

Jaune: "Come and get me"? "Ah will fight ye"?

Jaune: GYEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nae mistaking it. She, this woman and a' with her...

Jaune: ...ARE OOR SWORNEST ENEMIES! OOR ARCHENEMIES!

--------------------------------------------------

Goodwitch: (Via scroll) JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE!. (Hangs up)

Ruby: (Sighs, Slumps) Beacon... We have no~ problems!

Jaune: (Kicks in the door) RRGH!

Ruby: Okay, dude, I need, like, a minute or so before I'm-

Jaune: (Punches Ruby to the floor)

Ruby: NEVERMIND, WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS!

Weiss: I've got him-!

Jaune: (Shield bashes her over the counter)

Weiss: (Dazed, Shaking)

Ruby: Ugh! Great! You triggered her! Gonna be all day with this...

Jaune: The Brothers have handed down ae blessing to ye filthy heathens as ae sign of good will... A small private Ozian jet. Now, if ye would be so very divinely-like tae ship yer sawry pale ass oot! (Points) And take yer dainty, white hoor with ye! And the cat-boy!

Blake: Donc quai?

Ruby: Man, I don't know what I find funnier: The Church of the Brothers strong-arming you into helping us, or the fact that you obviously haven't seen what I did to the statue of Big Bois~!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: (Screams at the Brother statues now graffiti'd with "INCEST IS WINCEST" and "BROTHERLY LOVE IS REAL LOVE")

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: And so, you've broken through the siege and now stand face to face with me. Good... Good... Exactly what I'd expect from Ozma. From Jaune Arc.

Jaune: (Standing with a broken arm)

Ruby: Oh? It seems you didn't make it through unscathed.

Jaune: SO WHAT ABOOT IT, VAMPIRE?! (Biting sleeve, Pulls up) Ma arm's just torn up is a'. Quit yer blasted boastin' and come. COME AT ME. Hurry, HURRY!

[lightningbreath]

I know I have a post bashing Ganlink, but I can understand that there are people who ship for fun without relativizing Ganondorf's atrocious actions. But this is already ridiculous. It's because of this type of case that I developed a huge hatred for Ganondorf's ships and for Ganondorf himself.

Clearly people have a problem with Ganlink because of racism and not because Ganondorf is a genocidal conqueror who doesn't even care about his own people, of course they do. Let's just ignore how this guy is responsible for the hell that Link and Zelda go through and how his speech in WW becomes ridiculous when you remember everything he did in OoT and WW.

Because yes, he kidnapped children trying to find Zelda but look, he said he only wanted the wind of Hyrule. UwU

And look how physically attractive he is. Clearly he's just a victim of the situation. UwU

[captainofthedauntless]

Glow in the Dark

Bayverse Donatello x Reader imagine

Info + Warnings: Comments on Reader's appearance (all positive, no identifying features described). No gendered language, pronouns, or Y.N used for Reader. Friends-to-lovers type beat, still in the friends era. Set a few years after OOTS.

Commentary: I think Donnie deserves to get a little short-circuited, as a treat.

"You're starin'," Raphael muttered behind him.

Donatello tried to come up with an eloquent response.

"What the fuck?" He managed, voice an awe-filled whisper. He blinked rapidly, spinning his desk chair away from you and meeting his brother's eyes, motioning back over his shoulder in an are you seeing this. "What.... the fuck."

Raph chuckled, patting him on the shoulder, just shy of patronizing. Donnie couldn't bring himself to care. "Good luck, genius." Then, he walked past Donnie and away from the computers, calling your name. "What's got you all dressed up?"

Donnie spun back, gaze landing on you again. You were offering his brother a bashful grin, saying something about the event you had attended- Don had known what it was, you'd told him what it was on the phone just the night before, but he couldn't remember the details now- and looking like one of his dreams come to life.

You were, in fact, all dressed up; more formally than he had ever seen you. Your clothes seemed tailor-made for you, perfectly highlighting all of your best features, the colors you wore contrasting your skin tone beautifully.

The cherry on top of Donatello's "I'm-thoroughly-screwed" sundae was the purple bracelet you wore. It was thin and elegant and caught the lights of the lair like the universe was begging him to see it.

Like he ever could have missed it.

And then you were laughing, damn it all, and Donnie was so swept up in you that he nearly missed the pillow flying at his head.

He caught it at the last possible second (thank you, Splinter) and whipped his head to the side to glare at Mikey.

"Go over there!" Mikey said in a stage whisper before Donnie could ask what his problem was. "This is your moment, bro!"

"What moment?" He asked incredulously in an actual whisper.

"To make a move! Because if you don't, I might- umph!"

Donnie, pillowless once again, glanced back at you and froze immediately when you were already looking at him.

You smiled- half warmth and half curious amusement, probably about his whipping a pillow at Michelangelo- and gave him a small wave. He managed one in return, urging his mind to please regain its balance already.

As much as he enjoyed the chemical soup you caused in his brain, he suspected Mikey had a point. This was a moment, even if he had his doubts about it being his moment, and the last thing he wanted was to be blinded by dopamine.

Your attention turned as Leonardo walked in. Donnie couldn't hear what either of you said, but he could see that almost shy smile of yours return as Leo spoke- another compliment on your appearance, judging by how you looked down and smoothed out your already-smooth clothing before responding.

Donnie nudged the floor with the toe of his boot, smoothly turning back to his monitors and exhaling heavily through his nose.

"Donnie," you called a few minutes later, startling him back out of his newly-found groove. "You got a minute?"

Like he'd ever say no.

"Um..." he muttered, hitting save on his spreadsheet and bracing himself before spinning his chair around towards you and leaning back. "I do now."

You smiled at him again, shooting butterflies into his stomach. "I got you something," you said, pulling a small shopping bag out from behind you. "It's a little silly, but- well, it made me think of you."

He took the bag with a smile and quirked brow, glancing at it and back to you. He reached inside, freezing when he bumped into crumpled packing paper. Setting the bag in his lap, he carefully pulled the paper-wrapped item out and discarded the paper, finding a blown-glass sphere with swirls of orange and yellow. "The sun?"

"It glows in the dark," you offered, a tension in your voice that he didn't anticipate. "from the museum. The venue was right near it, so I swung in. Found this. I thought maybe you would have a spot to hang it."

He nodded, a grin on his face. "I do! There's an empty space over my work bench that would be perfect." He turned the ornament in his hands. "Thank you."

"Yeah. It's uh... a light in the shadows, so..."

Oh, he had to be hearing things.

"Like you."

Or dreaming.

"Anyway!" You clapped your hands once softly before rubbing them together awkwardly, turning towards the kitchen. "I should go get something to drink, so-"

Donnie's mind finally caught up with your words, and he found himself stepping out of his chair and towards you. "Like me?"

You hesitated, glancing up at him. "Yeah, with the whole ninja thing, y'know? The shadows, all that."

He couldn't help a little smile, tilting his head slightly. "So, uh, you're- you're suggesting I glow?"

"Maybe a little." He definitely wasn't imagining you matching his gentle teasing, or the way your shoulders relaxed. "Or maybe I'm saying you're full of hot air."

He chuckled, looking back down at the sun he held.

"It's... probably more about the glow, though."

"If anyone here is glowing," he started, hearing Mikey's encouragement in his mind, "I believe it's you. You look amazing."

You let out a small huff of laughter, looking away from him with a shy smile. "Nice deflection."

"It's not deflection. It's the truth."

"It can be both."

He hummed, and you looked back up at him.

"...Deflection or not, thank you."

Donnie nodded, motioning with the sun. "Thank you. This was really thoughtful."

"Of course."

"Let me make you some tea?" The offer came out softer than it usually would, a tentative note that your exchanges usually did not have.

You smiled warmly, nodding. "I'd like that."

It probably wasn't- definitely wasn't- the move Mikey had meant, but Donnie couldn't help but mentally pat himself on the back as he poured steaming water into your mug. It was something he had done dozens of times, but there was something different in your expression, your body language.

He was a turtle of science. He wasn't going to draw conclusions from one datapoint, couldn't be sure that the softness in your eyes wasn't a fluke.

But he could allow himself the most minute hint of optimism when he sat down next to you and you leaned against his shoulder.

[kaaaaaaarf]

1, 11, 30!!!

Hi Cate!! Long time no see 💞

1. do you carry around a bag when you're out and about? if so, what's usually in it?

Boy do I!!! I carry around one of those purses from uniqlo that are small but mighty. They carry around EVERYTHING. My purse contents are usually something like this: + pouch with make-up, period products, band-aids, advil, a comb, elastics, my puffer, my epi-pen and any other thing that might be useful when oot and aboot. (@kaleidoscopexsighs can attest to the fact that I have anything you could think to need) + flashlight in case I need to bash someone's head in on the TTC. (this is a joke but also not a joke) + chapstick + a lighter (and if I'm travelling, cigarettes) + hand sanitizer from bath & body works + small wallet with my important cards and loose change + headphones + keys + a reuseable bag + occasionally I might also have: an umbrella, my kindle, a poetry book, a bottle of water

11. favourite myth?

This was hard for some reason. My mind suddenly emptied of every myth I'd ever heard. I really enjoy celtic myths but I don't know that I have a favourite. Mr K loves to go on about the Salmon of Knowledge. I enjoy the stories of Cú Chulainn and anything about selkies.

30. what’s your type?

What a tough question. For guys, they tend to be tall, waify and have floofy hair. honestly, the more like a victorian orphan they look the better. eye bags? look like they haven't slept in twenty years? patchy facial hair? sign me the fuck up. (the funniest part about this is that Mr K is the polar opposite to this...I have the range) For everyone else, I dunno how to describe what I'm attracted to. I see a beautiful person and I'm fucking weak. You should see my thirst trap folder on tik-tok. It is NOT consistent haha I am more attracted to people's vibes generally. Everything is good. (but I wont say no to a goth girl drummer just saying)

ask me some questions

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Twilight Princess Review

It happened guys. I finally played Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. And it was amazing!!! I absolutely enjoyed every aspect from the bosses to the characters and the stylistic choices.

Skyward Sword aside, the graphics are so beautiful. I loved the darker approach to the game. Much like Majora's Mask, this game is not afraid to take risks and I very much appreciate that. The textures and lighting for each character were perfect.

Also, like Skyward Sword, the characters were also phenomenal. Midna is definitely my favorite companion. She's such a well-written character and fun too. I love her sass and spunk. She's also so cool. I'm also a big fan of this game's Link. He has a lot of personality and expression. His relationship with Midna is one of my favorites. Out of the side characters, Colin was my fave. He's a cute kid and I loved how he looked up to Link. The Hero's Shade was also a great addition. It adds some good lore and brings the story of what I presume to be OoT's Link to a tragic yet hopeful end.

The villains were also great. Zant is very unique and one of the best Zelda villains ever. While Ghirahim will always be my fave, Zant is without a doubt one of the most entertaining baddies. And then there's Ganondorf himself. Talk about a phenomenal finals boss. I had so much fun fighting him. It was epic and is definitely my favorite final boss fight. Skyward Sword and TotK definitely helped me prepare for this fight. Also, the best Dark Beast Ganon. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

The dungeons were also fun, especially Arbiter's Grounds and Snowpeak Ruins. Arbiter's Grounds is definitely up there as one of my favorite dungeons alongside the Ancient Cistern. And Stallord is the best dungeon boss in this game.

Also, the music slapped.

Honestly, my only major problem was the shield bash. I kept doing spin attacks instead and it got really frustrating. If y'all want a game with a better shield bash system, try SS or BotW/TotK. I also didn't like Ilia but that's just me.

Still, this is one of my favorite Zelda games! It's not my #1 fave, but it's in my top 3 and I can't wait to play it again. Take care guys!

[tirsynni]

BotW/TotK Hylian Royal Family meta ahead. 

These are my headcanons based on what I’ve seen from the games. Obviously, everyone has different thoughts on it. No bashing in it and possibly Rhoam-critical but not Zelda-critical. Just headcanons about how the role religion played in Royal Life pre-Calamity.

Also, I’ve barely touched AoC, so this meta is based more on BotW, TotK, OoT, MM, TP, and SS, with the full understanding that this is headcanon and no consistent canon on this matter exists and will never exist... not even between BotW and its direct sequel, TotK.

A major plot point in BotW is Zelda’s inability to connect with her powers. There is no indication that she can do the things Link takes for granted in BotW, like see the Koroks and dragons. I would be surprised if she could. She’s young, frustrated, and her father -- her only living parent -- is pressuring the hell out of her to connect with her powers. It’s clear in the flashback and in his journals that he isn’t acting like a parent and he’s aware of it. He’s acting like a king who knows that he needs a specific weapon and is given a rough rulebook on how to access the weapon. Per their history, Zelda has Goddess blood which gives her access to a weapon which can defeat this grand evil; her ancestor was able to activate it, so obviously Zelda should be able to do the same; Zelda is failing to activate the weapon which should be automatic to her per some ancient rulebooks. It’s unknown how detailed the guidelines for activating this power is or the King is just assuming that of course this is what Zelda needs to do to activate this power. I mean, it was 10k years ago (which seems insane to me, but whatever).

Here’s where more headcanons come into play. I think the power of the Goddess -- and honestly, pretty much everything spiritual -- is completely disconnected from the Royal Family in this era. Per their records, the last time the holy power was needed was a long time ago. I would be shocked if something else hadn’t happened in the meantime (seriously, it’s one hell of a time difference), but for them, the power of the Goddess Blood hasn’t been needed any time recently. Zelda has made it clear that she has no personal connection to it. Her drive is scientific. She has no internal motivation to be connected to the Goddesses. Her motivation to connect to her powers isn’t because she wants to connect to anything on a spiritual level. She wants the power to protect her people and, honestly, because she’s experiencing so much pressure and backlash. Again, per BotW (and TotK, really), we don’t see her do any of the spiritual/divine/extra stuff Link does. Link talks to multiple divine statues. He plays games with the Koroks. In the BotW flashbacks, she is happiest when she’s doing Science(!), and in TotK, she focuses on highly practical things with no stories (that I’ve seen so far) of her doing anything with a spiritual slant. Her focus is rebuilding a school, not rebuilding a church.

It makes sense, though! I think the Goddess Blood and its associated power is more academic than anything. They know Zelda has it. Hell, the Hylian Royal Family relies on that Bloodline to claim their divine right to rule. They know that the power of the Goddess was used by previous princesses to protect the family. With all that said, there is no indication in canon that it has any modern role in their lives. Hell, there is no indication that spirituality in general has any role in the lives of the Royal Family. It seems like the Goddess Blood has two primary roles pre-Calamity: to ensure Divine Right to Rule and to awaken to protect Hyrule from the Calamity. That’s it.

In at least one previous game, it was said that the Hylians’ ears were shaped that way in order to better hear the spirits and the like. We don’t know Link’s own abilities when it comes to this pre-Calamity. I personally enjoy the headcanon that he could hear and see far more than Zelda but didn’t want to say anything because it would hurt her. Would also match with the concept of��“keeping his mouth shut helps keeps his ears open.” But there’s no strong evidence that spirituality or anything play a strong role in Hylian daily life pre-Calamity. It might have been something which was also lost through time. That is a major theme in many Zelda games: that important things, including connection with the divine, have been lost. The Zelda games love showing ancient, forgotten things, things whose stories can never fully be told again. The original stories are long lost, and all that exists in the BotW/TotK are modern interpretations, fairy tales, prophecies, etc. For further examples, see the Zonai Survey Teams and how they are excited about their discoveries but can’t connect to them in the way Link casually does.

I read a story once about how a pastor once invited an enthusiastic member of his congregation to lead a prayer one day. He didn’t ask her beforehand. She was always highly motivated, highly social, and a strong believer. He didn’t think anything of his request. It should have been fine! Instead, she walked up to the front of the congregation, stood there for a moment, burst into tears, and fled. Later, he discovered that while she was very religious, she was never taught how to pray. Prayer was a major part of their religion, and as such, it was expected that everyone automatically knew how to do it! Not so! He realized an important lesson that day and didn’t take it for granted again.

Prophecy and Divinity play a significant role in the Royal Family, but do they actually know what to do with it? Zelda is told to pray and she’s told to do it for a specific reason: unlock her powers so she can help defeat the Calamity. We never see the King pray or do anything religious at all. He obviously believes in the prophecies and such but doesn’t actively do anything himself: Hylia favors their family, Zelda has Goddess Blood, etc. etc. etc. Very matter-of-fact things. Nothing he needs to do, actually! Because according to the Prophecies, he just needs to make sure the players are in place! Actual knowledge and practice doesn’t come into play here. No actual internal spiritual beliefs: just practical applications.

So that’s my headcanon as to one of the reasons why Zelda struggled. Would knowing how to pray have helped in the end? Unknown. When her power eventually arose, she was still pretty disconnected from it. It seemed like in BotW and TotK that she never fully connected with it: just used it to fulfill her goal, which was stopping the Calamity from destroying her people. Maybe her daughter or granddaughter or whoever would connect with their spiritual heritage. Overall, King Rhoam, who had probably never really prayed a day in his life and had no real connection to Hylia himself, looked at his daughter, told her that the only way to awaken her powers was to pray, and never thought for a moment that if he didn’t know how to pray, how the fuck should she?

[missylanieous]

okay, it has been WAY too long since I've posted a schedule, but I'm able to confirm the stuff that's happening this weekend!!

Fri: @dooper64, @blawnk, @its-voxid and I will be on Vox's channel for more Triforce Heroes (tech willing)

Sat: its_ace_of_hearts and I will be doing the subathon bash on my channel! I'll be posting the goals again within the next couple of days, but we'll be doing a co-op run of OoT, a hell seed

Sun/Mon: we'll be playing LunarLux, a recent release that I want to share with you all!

art by: Wilsonthe3st

[wc-confessions]

using a new blank blog to send this confession bc anon is off and I don't want to associate this with my main blog, but also I'm sick and tired of this and I just want to get it off my chest.

I am VERY ready to get sent threats for this, but I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE when Warriors rewrites/aus make Brambleclaw/star evil or just bash Brambleclaw/star endlessly. I KNOW he's an abusive dickwad and I DO NOT condone his actions in the SLIGHTEST. But he was still my one of my favorite characters of all time as a kid - I'd even go so far as to say he was my comfort character. (That's not the case any more obviously.) The Darkest Hour was my first ever WC book and I adored Bramblepaw standing up to Tigerstar, and his determination to become better than his father ever was. I loved how he was flawed in TNP but still knew where his morals lay in the end. I loved his relationship with the Three in POT. I was so excited to see him become leader in OOTS, but now I wish he never became leader, because I can barely even recognize Bramble now. This isn't the Bramblepaw/claw I grew up with and adored so much, and I despise the Erins for what they did to him.

But back to my main point - I also despise when Warriors rewrites/aus make it seem like Bramblestar was always evil, like he was always an abusive cocksack, because THAT LITERALLY WAS NOT THE POINT OF HIS CHARACTER. The point of his character, and the reason why I loved him, was that he was someone who rejected his evil family and always strove for good. I assume that a lot of these rewrites and AUs were made by people who joined the fandom when they were younger and have only known Dickmuncher Bramblestar, but it still hurts. I also have autism and RSD and am a hyper empath, which of course makes the hurt feel that much worse, as it just feels like they're ignoring the point of Bramble's character, just like the Erins.

And don't get me STARTED on the people who villanize Brambleclaw in TNP rewrites only to turn around and make Crowfeather, Ashfur, or Hawkfrost the heroes and the Squirrelflight love interest. THAT IS LITERALLY STRAIGHT UP CHARACTER/SHIP FAVORITISM AT THIS POINT! AND IT'S HYPOCRITICAL AS FUCK TOO! ALL THREE OF THOSE CHARACTERS ARE JUST AS BAD AS MODERN BRAMBLESTAR. ACTUALLY, NO, FUCK IT, I'M JUST GOING TO SAY IT: CROWFEATHER AND ASHFUR ARE WORSE THAN MODERN BRAMBLESTAR! Even as a kid I MUCH preferred the bantery friendship Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw had over their romance, and in my WC reimagining I see them as queerplatonic partners (with Bramblestar being gay and with either an equally reworked Ashfur or with Stormfur, and Squirrelflight as a trans MTF asexual lesbian with Jessy, or as just straight up a single girlboss), but like BREAKING NEWS: YOU CAN PREFER ONE ROMANTIC PARTNER FOR A CHARACTER WITHOUT DEMONIZING THE OTHER(S)!!!! HAVE THOSE PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF RON THE DEATH EATHER??????????? OR DRACO IN LEATHER PANTS???????????????????????

VERY sorry for how long this got, and if it got a bit personal at points, I just REALLY needed to get this off my chest. Now if you excuse me, I'll be in the corner reading rewrite/au fanfics of the himbo cinnamon roll nursery dad never-becomes-leader Brambleclaw who endlessly supports his QUEERPLATONIC PARTNER/BESTIE Squirrelflight/star that the Erins SHOULD have given us in canon :D

‎

[sapientiiae]

Eyes - do they like being watched?

eyes — do they like to be watched while they're having sex? do they like to watch others having sex? nsfw headcanon meme

In the sense of voyeurism? No, Zelda has never participated in such an act, and she is not quite sure she ever wishes to. While there may be a thrill in places whence she could get caught, she’s never thought to actually partake in such an act in front of others or watch other engage in such a fashion (this goes for all Zeldas).

In the sense of having her partner watch her in the moment, then that is a different topic. OoT Zelda is the most sheepish of the three, so she would be very bashful and uncertain at first and probably prefer to not be watched. HW Zelda, on the other hand, would relish in it, and then TP Zelda is somewhere in the middle, though I believe she would err more to the side of enjoying it.

The only way I could ever see the being watched/watching others thing change is in an OT3 situation. If she were to ever have two partners at once, she would be more likely to derive enjoyment from being watched by their third, likely seeing it as a form of teasing. I think she would also enjoy watching her two partners together, though OoT would still be more bashful about it while TP and HW are likely to get a bit impatient at not being able to participate. 

[zz-chikorita]

Let's say, in theory, Leon and Guzma as they are in your Jolly Rogers fic suddenly go through a magical body-swap situation, where Leon is in Guzma's body and vice versa, and they're somehow aware that it's not permanent and it'll go back to normal after a couple days, so there's no need to panic about fixing it.

What's the first thing they each do? Who's going to make the dumbest joke? Does one or the other or both panic about 'don't go looking at my naked body!'?

Aaah! You always come up with the best prompts!

Ok, so, the fun thing about the pokémon world is that this kind of idea is not as farfetched as you may think, what with all the psychic type pokémon and different moves and abilities and such...

Anyways, absolutely the first thing Guzma would do in Leon's body would be (50% as a joke, 50% because he really wants to) is grab his own (ie Leon's) tits and make some obscene comments to get a rise out of Leon.

That just makes logical sense.

Leon's first reaction would probably to start panicking and pacing around while mumbling about how this is going to affect his schedule and what is he going to do about his commitments for today and- STOP BLOODY GROPING MA CHEST YE JUNKIE

(More under cut- CW: child abuse, bullying, panic attacks, chronic pain, general nsfw tomfoolery)

They end up sitting quietly for a little while just kind of reflecting on the situation. Guzma looks down at his (Leon's) hands and has a millions emotions flash through his mind since he, many times -especially as a child- looked down at his own hands and wished- even prayed to Arceus, Tapu Koko, anyone who would listen- that he'd wake up one day and his skin would be dark and his peers wouldn't tease him anymore. And... maybe even his dad would finally be able to love him again... So yeah, lots of trauma rearing its ugly head for ol' Guzma.

Leon, on the other hand, is in awe of being in such a strong, weathered body. It's fascinating, just being able to feel Guzma's power. He looks at his (Guzma's) hands and maps out every little old scar and callus... he imagines all the hardship these hands have been through... and gains a new appreciation for how gentle and caring they have proven to be, even despite their rugged exterior. He feels all of Guzma's chronic aches and pains in his neck and back and wonders how he even manages to get out of bed in the morning. Then they run into a problem...

Leon has to use the restroom and he's super flustered and stuff but Guz is like dude, it's fine, we're both guys, just go but Leon's still bashful and hesitant. During this, Guzma is discovering that his own face apparently looks super cute when all red from being flustered and embarrassed. (No wonder Kukui was always teasing him when they were kids...)

Eventually, Leon concedes and then goes to the bathroom but while he's in there, he yelps because, at this point, this sweet little innocent dumbass hasn't looked up what a Jacob's ladder is yet. So, he has a mild panic attack when he first realizes it means Guzma has, not just one, but, multiple piercings in his dick. (I say "realize" and not "see" because Leon, bless his heart, was trying to be respectful as possible and not look down so he actually felt the piercings before actually seeing them and damn that triggered a whole lot of new emotions for his brain to try and handle/process all at once.)

Guzma didn't even think about this issue and, of course, goes to check on Leon when he hears him yelp only to find him standing there, dick in hand, just like staring at it. Leon starts babbling incoherently and guzma is like ohhhhhh, right... yeah... those... I uhh... probably should've warned you first...

Then, to Leon's horror, he actually starts getting hard. He can't quite tell if Guzma himself has realized it yet so he panics and shouts GIT THE FUCK OOT! then shoves Guzma out and slams the door in his embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Guzma's like, huh, so that's what I look like when I'm pissed... Not bad...not bad at all...

While Leon continues his crisis, Guzma goes and can't help himself from trying on Leon's cape. It's heavy on his shoulders and forces him to keep the muscles in his upper back, shoulders, and chest straight and taught. Then he looks at himself in a mirror and twirls and poses a little bit and- oh no he's actually starting to like it abort, ABORT!

But, damn, why does it look so good though??? He tries to do Leon's Charizard pose but almost trips and falls all over himself, so he ends up leaning against the mirror to steady himself and is laughing like a dumbass. Then, he sees Leon's smiling, giggling face in the mirror and is given pause, his heart skipping a beat. He studies his (Leon's) features very closely, kind of like how Leon did to him that one time he was still passed out from the fever (although, guzma still doesn't know that that happened). He reached up and gently touches his (Leon's) lips, wondering what it would feel like to kiss them... or nip at them...

And then, Guzma, the hopeless romantic (or unrelenting horn dog, you be the judge) that he is starts to feel himself getting hard. And... weird, it feels a little tight- ouch- ok, it feels really tight. Is Leon wearing a dancer's belt three sizes too small or something?

And I think I'll leave it at that for now 😝

But, thank you again, that was a very fun ask!

P.S. Guzma at some point in there has a mighty need to check if the carpet matches the drapes.......... for science...

[mira--mira]

Ok so, questions for OoT: Do Hashi + Madara cheer when Rock Lee kicks Sasuke's ass? If that still happens. Do they save Lee from getting his leg + arm crushed by Gaara's sand? Do Kabuto + Hashirama ever fight one another? If so, does Hashi kick Kabuto's ass? What does Hashi think of Kabuto's regeneration ability? Do Tsuande + Hashirama ever team up + kick ass? Please, I need this so bad. Also maybe Hashi hugging Tsunade when she has her freak out over seeing blood? Please? Does Madara face off with Itachi after Hiruzen dies (if Hiruzen still does die)? Do Hashi + Madara manage to save Sasuke from getting beaten by Itachi when Itachi + Sasuke see one another again in canon, when Naruto is doing his training with Jiraiya? (Also please tell me Madara at least stabs Jiraiya for stealing all of Naruto's saving when Jiraiya had plenty of money himself, AND was supposed to financially support Naruto as Naruto's godfather. If Madara doesn't just outright steal/demand Jiraiya give Naruto his money back or pay him back. That bothered me so much in canon.) I haven't been able to keep up with out of fic stuff in a while because of irl stuff, so I'm sorry if you've already answered these. Just link me, please, if you have?

Hey no worries! OoT is a monster that takes most of my energy to manage, lol, I don't expect everyone to be able to keep up with everything so please don't feel bad or like you're bothering me by asking! I haven't answered most of these questions, I'll answer a few below the cut but not quite all because 1. got to keep a few secrets :P and 2. I don't have specific answers to all of them yet either lol!

Do Hashi + Madara cheer when Rock Lee kicks Sasuke's ass?

Doesn't quite progress to that point! All of Team 7 and Gai's team go out for Sasuke and Lee's fight (here with a slightly different set up and explanation for why Gai's team was outside of the room bc that scene still irritates me in canon lol) but Team 13 gets lost (read: Hashirama and Madara not used to big buildings like the school and Sai laughing as they stumble around) and wanders in right before the fight happens and interrupts it. Even if they had been watching and not interfering they wouldn't be cheering outright I'd say. Hashirama has nothing against Sasuke and neither really does Madara. He doesn't has a grudge from the clan head duel, but Sasuke is a walking trigger for his own trauma that he subconsciously avoids.

Do they save Lee from getting his leg + arm crushed by Gaara's sand?

😶 The Tenten v Gaara fight happens and she's pissed at him so...

Do Kabuto + Hashirama ever fight one another? If so, does Hashi kick Kabuto's ass?

Not in the chunin arc (maybe in search for Tsunade, but probably not? Honestly idk at this point). Kabuto has a very good sense of self-preservation and he pegged them almost immediately as weird kids that he does not want to get involved with.

What does Hashi think of Kabuto's regeneration ability?

Honestly idk. I'm still trying to figure out how to classify it in a way. It's not from the mokuton, that really wouldn't make sense with my lore, but I'm not sure what else it stems from. I'm open to ideas and reactions to this, if anyone wants to suggest something! Otherwise I might make it where Kabuto doesn't have a regeneration ability, but he's such a competent medic, it's like he mimics the ability.

Do Tsuande + Hashirama ever team up + kick ass? Please, I need this so bad. Also maybe Hashi hugging Tsunade when she has her freak out over seeing blood? Please?

Yes, eventually. Their meetings are...rough at first. Hashirama and Madara know how Madara dies at this point and Hashirama has a grudge the size of the five elemental countries against his edo self (which will also be revealed if it's him or a parallel version by this point 😉) and he connects Tsunade to that at first and it puts an initial strain on their relationship. Add in Hashirama is very different from the "god of shinobi" Tsunade grew up with, 5 imo is too young to recognize the flaws and humanity in parents/grandparents so she doesn't have that perspective, and it leads to a clash. Not to mention the giant elephant in the room, Madara, and well...it's just a tough family reunion. I will say though the longer the fic goes on the bigger the "ripples" and canon divergences will be. There's a big moment at the end of the chunin arc that impacts...pretty much everything else in drastic ways. Just be prepared for a pretty sharp diverge!

Does Madara face off with Itachi after Hiruzen dies (if Hiruzen still does die)?

Hiruzen does die but I'm going to be mum about the rest of this 😉 Note I do have plans though 👀

Do Hashi + Madara manage to save Sasuke from getting beaten by Itachi when Itachi + Sasuke see one another again in canon, when Naruto is doing his training with Jiraiya?

Another one that's a mix of I have ideas but not solid enough to commit yet lol. Also the big spoiler at the end of chunin will affect this as you'll see!

Also please tell me Madara at least stabs Jiraiya for stealing all of Naruto's saving when Jiraiya had plenty of money himself, AND was supposed to financially support Naruto as Naruto's godfather. If Madara doesn't just outright steal/demand Jiraiya give Naruto his money back or pay him back. That bothered me so much in canon.

Oh fam, let me just say Madara and Jiraiya do not get along and the hate is mutual. Madara is 12 and he's going to fight that old man for custody of another 12 y/o and win. The money issue will definitely be brought up and dealt with. He, and all of Team 13 really, has zero tolerance for Jiraiya. I try to avoid the cliche "bashing" fic style, but I'm not going to shy away from Jiraiya's shitty canonical behavior and the "heart of gold pervert" is a character archetype that I loathe with the passion of a thousand suns. He's not getting excused for that either. Tsunade and Jiraiya have a complicated relationship with two people (three with Orochimaru) have experienced war and some of the absolute worst that humanity has had to offer and only each other to depend on...but then that trusted friend betrayed you and your boundaries and treating you like an object not a person and suddenly your entire relationship can never be the same (ie the peeping in the bath and almost killing him scene isn't going to be treated like a cute little jokey-joke~ Top 10 things I hated in canon, I can write an entire long post about this alone lol.)

[warriorsfireandwater]

Unpopular Opinion!

OOTS was a super disappointing series. They hyped up the DF for 2.5, everything had been culminating for 4 series and it was strongly implied that one or more Clans might fall (it was once suggested that ThunderClan might be the sole survivor!) but when we got to the fight itself it felt.... not great. It felt like the authors suddenly lost their energy and just bashed it out because they had to? And the Clans were so big by that time that even with the amount of deaths we got, it barely left a scratch. Plus the erins avoided a lot of fan-favorites (save for fern and sorrel) and all but one of the leaders, so there wasn't even much of an emotional charge or palpable change in the Clans from a political POV. It was like they spent a week mourning before everyone started getting annoyed by the memorials and stopped doing them in BSS. (I feel bad for Blackstar in that scene btw. Listing off the beloved dead from a hell-massacre and everyone yells "Shut up, old man!")

tbh i don’t think this one is unpopular LOL... most people I know feel the same (myself included, so this is a strongly agree). it really was such a let down as a series and the powers ended up being so irrelevant. sigh

[lazuliblade]

A bit of random rambling as I finish Skyword Sword HD. Don’t read if you want to avoid gameplay spoilers. Story spoilers have been out for 10 years, so I assume Zelda fans know who the big bad is by now, but just in case, here’s your warning. --------------- Before saying anything else, I do want to mention that I adored the staging of the final battle in the original version, and I adore it here too. I remember how impressed I originally was with the crisp graphics (the water! the fire hair!), and I’m glad I still enjoy it just as much. The lighting is so dramatic. As for the fight itself: I didn’t realize how good Breath of the Wild made me with shield bashing/parries. I’m actually really kind of proud of myself? I’m sure speedrunners can get through Demise in under 2 minutes or so (I should look up videos later), but I felt accomplished getting through the first stage in like 30 seconds with no damage. I want to try again and aim for a no-damage fight. If I’m not an idiot and actually properly run when he recharges his lightning sword in the second stage, then I should be able to do it. He didn’t even once touch me! It was the lightning rebound! Oh my god I should not have even gotten hurt! I did this battle twice: once to finish the game, and then a second time after copying the file* so that I could continue into Hero’s Mode. The first time through was super tough because I didn’t get the timing right on the second stage’s triple-parry, so when I realized I would need to battle him a second time on the copied file, I was like: “oh god, but at least I’ll be going in with experience, right?” So yeah, that second time was surprisingly nice. I just need to figure out the timing to run away from the lightning and I should be good for a damageless run. I thought there was a whole skyward strike thing too, but... Fi didn’t say anything, so maybe I’m misremembering? And did the bottle trick work in this game too, or was it just Oot and TP? Or maybe it was the bug net here... I don’t know. I’m looking forward to experimenting tomorrow. Also, I want to try doing this with buttons and not motion controls. I haven’t tried the button controls at all yet, so that’ll be exciting. Maybe I’ll try Hero’s mode with buttons only? That should make things easier, I hope. I remember the early stages of that mode being really difficult for me back then. ---------------- *for future reference, the HD remake let’s you choose which file to save a Hero’s Mode file. Unlike the original version, it doesn’t automatically rewrite the file you’re currently playing on. So you don’t need to copy the file beforehand. Meaning, you can click “yes” when it prompts you to “use this file’s save data to continue into Hero’s Mode” (or however they worded it) and then you can choose a different save file to save onto.

[elfindreams]

(sits down on the wrong side of the confessional booth again, making intense eye contact with the priest) I have this pathological drive to interpret all fiction in the most depressing possible light, I suspect it’s one part a result of this silly cultural attitude that darkness = depth plus my own weird childish need to justify liking certain things, REGARDLESS I think the story progression and subtext from Ocarina of Time -> Majora’s Mask -> Twilight Princess is pretty interesting and reads like a whacked-out fairy tale portrayal of, I don’t know how to put it, the bad stuff that can happen when people (especially kids) are put in harm’s way and then left to fend for themselves instead of being given support when they need it. Link’s adventure in OoT isn’t particularly freaky or violent or awful by fantasy adventure standards but everyone around Link deals with him in the exact wrong way and sets him up for failure further down the line, I’m reminded of this thing I read once about PTSD where a major deciding factor in how bad it gets isn’t so much the severity of the inciting experience, but rather, the degree to which the person is able to talk about what happened and be believed and accepted within their community instead of feeling ostracized or broken. The Link of this game is this socially-isolated orphan (who I guess is retroactively confirmed to be canonically nonverbal bc of anxiety/feeling pressured, if you assume that one bit from BotW applies to all versions of Link lol) who is literally forced to grow up too fast, told he’s Very Special And Important And The Only One Who Can Save The Day (which is still a form of isolation/othering, and seems like a metaphorical fantasy version of the “hey, look how mature for your age you are, you can and should be able to handle any kind of stress” mentality), sent on this extended dangerous quest with only Navi for company, and then once he’s accomplished everything asked of him, he’s rewarded for his efforts by Zelda being all “okay thanks bye” and sending him back in time without even asking if that’s what he wants, so now he’s a child with all these memories of doing and experiencing things that nobody else remembers or will acknowledge, because as far as they’re concerned, none of it happened. Then Navi ditches him with no explanation, so he has no one to talk to and no clear place to even go, because going home isn’t an option anymore, he has no place in that community and also possibly might die if he tries to return. So he wanders off to go find his friend, goes on a surreal second adventure that’s like a fever dream version of the first except even more intense with the “you went through some wild shit but nobody else would understand if you told them” aspect and also it’s quite a bit darker, like holy smokes Link gets bashed around a whole bunch and watches a guy die and potentially murders this other guy, and goes through a bunch of body horror on top of the monster-fighting and looming threat of a fiery apocalypse and so forth, and while the surprisingly large number of dickish things you can do in MM is hilarious, you could totally take as a some subtle characterization, Link has the potential to exhibit a mean streak that didn’t exist within him during OoT. And then he saves the day again and leaves again and disappears, grows up, and eventually dies unfulfilled and even bitter because he wanted to pass on his knowledge, and he wanted to be recognized for the things he did, but he never got either of those things. Which really is pretty tragic! Like he gets completely messed up for what seems like the rest of his life, he’s never able to form the connections with people that he seems to want, and then he sticks around as a lingering ghost for ages because of his regrets. And it didn’t have to get that bad! It was all so easily avoidable, but nobody bothered to like... check if he was okay or consider that he might have his own wants or preferences. It’s a—HEY WAIT GET BACK HERE I’M NOT DONE YET!

[malo-mart]

Man i knew he (unfairly) hated skyward sword, But Ocarina of time? Majoras mask? The thousand year door? why do people trust this mans video game opinions again?

UGH he has a 30 minute animated video essay (which is so gamer boy of him) on why alttp is better than oot which I agree with to a certain extent but there was like. So much oot bashing in there. I think he hates mm on the same terms he does oot but like he thinks it's so brave to hate it. Anyway I actually love game grumps lol but sometimes he tests me