#and because King mean something to Caleb

[captainsparklefingers]

My shipper heart that refuses to let go of widomauk all these years later hears Ashton talking about wearing a tribute to FCG (which is a lovely thought and I'm gonna get teary eyed at the inevitable new art), the second thing my brain goes to is Caleb in Molly's coat, taking and wearing it not immediately after his death, but after Cree has brought Lucien back. When it's been abandoned and forgotten in the mud and rain. Caleb taking it and wearing it on the trek to Aeor to get their lost friend back.

[dent-de-leon]

Ludinus seeing scrappy little Lucien lingering wistfully in the halls of the Solstryce Academy, carrying another ancient relic he stole for Vess. Eyeing his latest find with a hunger and greed that Lucien knows all too well, the same way Vess and the Somnovum’s eyes bore into him.

Ludinus seeing that same purple tiefling that used to scour the ruins of Molaesmyr for DeRogna in another life, recognizing him from all those years ago—watching him stand beside Caleb and Beau and the rest of their motley crew.

This little thief he once looked down on, a fate touched soul branded by the Somnovum and nearly torn apart by the last remnants of Aeor. Someone whose very soul was nearly shattered by the same kind of ancient arcana and lost era that Ludinus so reveres. And now he’s finally free of those chains, from the centuries old wizards who tried to take away everything from him.

And he knows exactly how to make a power hungry demigod fall back down to earth, tumble from their pedestal and realize they’re painfully mortal—

[trashno0dle]

Actually I lied I need to ramble about one thought in particular before I die.

King's Dad was watching everything the whole time. He was keeping an eye on his son the entire time meaning he was watching the first years of King's life when he was alone, he watched when Eda found him in the rubble of the castle and he must've been so thankful that his son had found company at last, and he made sure he was being well treated and continued to watch him grow throughout the years.

When Luz came the Boiling Isles he watched her too, he watched her development and watched her grow into the person she ultimately became and in turn for holding a deep regard to the Owl Family for looking after his son, he revealed his magic to her (something he tried to keep from Belos for as long as he could, but gave to Luz freely) so she could learn and speak his own language as a thank you for all she had done.

And he finally stopped watching, he finally passed on when he knew King was safe and so were the Isles. He no longer had to live in the In-Between, stuck with the guilt and regret of falsely imprisoning the Collector, kick-starting a chain of events that led everything in motion, a lot like with how Luz held a lot of guilt for playing part in it too. Their guilt is linked, they both felt the same way for actions that weren't entirely their fault because they were tricked.

But another thing I'd like to add, onto the Belos point. Is that King's Dad also probably watched Caleb come into the Isles, he watched him fall in love with the hidden beauty of it all and a Witch along with it. He watched Philip/Belos arrive and watched as he committed so many atrocities, how he murdered his own brother, the one he'd watched and allowed in his world — he desperately tried to hide his magic from Belos for as long as he could. Which is further backed up when Philip says (when talking about the light glyph with Luz) that something was trying to hide it from him (I'm paraphrasing here I don't actually remember what he said, but it was along those lines).

ANYWAY. Yeah. I'm thinking about how not only were we the watchers, but King's Dad was watching with us the whole time too. I guess that's another reason they settled on “Watching and Dreaming” huh.

[findmeinthefallair]

The scenes towards the end of the finale were like an intersection of multiple characters experiencing the loss of father figures, in different shades:

Luz's relationship to her late father took on a different form, after King's own father passed on and his glyph magic was gone for good. Manny gifting her the Azura books before his death, and Papa Titan offering her glyph magic before he too passed on, helped Luz find her place in the world and defeat Belos.

Apparently this scene is what made Sarah Nicole-Robles bawl in the recording studio, right after she recorded the lines.

When these changes happen - when we experience the loss of a person, when our ties with them are wrangled into a new form, against our will - it can be devastatingly painful. Change and transformation make for fancy, dramatic scenes in fiction, and they always incur loss in some form, painful or not. It also made me so emotional when seeing how much 18-year-old Luz resembles Manny, and how her enrolment in the university is linked to both her biological father and Papa Titan.

King's experience of seeing the majesty of his father, however brief, left him in awe and exhilaration. He can rest in the beautiful knowledge that Papa Titan was watching over him the whole time too. The message that his dad left him, relayed by Luz, is something he'll hold dear forever.

Hunter will never be truly harmed by Belos ever again. But he can't discard the memories of Belos granting him attachment: even if the attachment ended up not being real in a sense. However, like what can be applied in real-life therapy, he can get guidance on how to rescript those memories.

Belos's lies about having good intentions don't change how it felt real to Hunter all those years ago. Hunter was a young child when receiving this 'love', and in a twisted way...the mission given to him by Belos kept him alive up till he could escape the Coven, because the mission gave his life meaning despite the circumstances being awfully terrible. A child cannot survive without attachment, and needs attachment even if the experience of attachment has been horrendous and scarring. And holy Titan don't get me started on how at age 16 (before the timeskip), he had yet to learn more grisly details about his predecessors - whom he might view as older brothers and fathers whom he never met - and the generational trauma in his Golden Guard family tree:

which would have definitely been explored before he could experience that amazing hard-won serenity and peace at age 20.

Even Philip's arc is inextricably tied to his manner of coping with how he murdered Caleb, who was the closest thing he had to a father, given how these two brothers were orphans. In the end, Philip meets his end while Luz gazes upon him the same way Caleb's ghost did. Philip won't be haunted by Caleb's ghost again, and he joins the person who was essentially his father figure in death. Till the very end, he was projecting onto another person because he didn't want to recognize the same traits in himself. He was the one responsible for his father figure's death.

But grief doesn't mean the relationships in question have ended altogether. It's kind of like what this post about the finale (link) says, and it even extends to the relationship between us fans and the show itself.

The cliché "5 Stages of Grief" is the most commonly mentioned grief model, but I follow the development and advocacy of a newer perspective on grief that challenges it. In fact, the 5 Stages was originally just intended for terminally ill patients, but it was taken out of proportion. I began a serious investigation into the newer models after I went through something that parallels Hunter losing Flapjack...eerily, it happened to me two weeks before TTT's release date. No wonder I feel so close to Hunter as a blorbo, I guess.

Unlike what the 5 Stages of Grief says, grief and linear time don't mix well. Without "stages" to follow, there isn't an expectation of some deadline or permanent end of a tunnel in the newer models. Such pressure wouldn't be honoring the sacredness of connections between us. Instead, less famous grief perspectives like the dual-process model and continuing bonds model, are a better fit to honor relationships that mattered, since they aren't given an expiry date.

I wonder how Luz would be feeling on the day she graduates from the Wild Magic University, and how King feels each time he unlocks his own new glyphs since he is the new Titan to supply the Isles with magic. And I wonder how Hunter felt when his coven sigil was replaced with the Flapjack tattoo, and how he feels when he sees the Gravesfield town seal and Wittebane statues.

There are ways in which they can get creative to integrate their grief (notice I didn't say "get rid of", "remove", "erase" or even "manage"...the pain is what is to be managed, not the grief itself) the best they can. In canon, we have examples such as the Hexsquad agreeing to get their Flapjack tattoos together. Luz letting go of the light glyph sheet here:

is also a fantastic representation of rituals like sending off a message in a bottle at a beach, tying a message to a balloon and letting it fly away (this happened in Reaching Out, didn't it?), or burning a message in a campfire to let it float up towards the sky in the form of embers.

It is a common recommendation to have exercises like letter-writing where the griever writes to the lost loved one. What many may not know is you can also do the reverse: you writing as your lost loved one, to yourself. Because the griever takes a piece of the lost loved one with them, that the griever has shaped within themselves. This is especially good if you need to extend forgiveness to yourself. An example from a book called Bearing the Unbearable:

The author felt responsible for the stillbirth of her child, but had a "happy accident" where she intuitively asked for forgiveness and then received it, by invoking the love that her child would have shown to her in a world where said child had remained alive.

I think Hunter in particular could benefit from something like this, writing to himself as the uncle whom he saw as genuine and nurturing, and gaining ownership of that part of him even though Belos was a liar and is now gone for good. It can help him move forward especially since he won't be spared from nightmares in which his loss is re-enacted. With this kind of rescripting, historical accuracy doesn't actually need to matter. After all, our own minds lie to us at times and mess with historical accuracy anyway, like Luz's thoughts telling her she was as bad as Belos, and how true that felt.

A physical loved one is lost to death, and it can feel just as painful - only in a different way - if people become estranged or separated without a literal death having occurred. But the connection to them isn't lost, it is only adapted. The bond continues. For better or worse.

I believe the pain in grieving is connected to each moment when we remember all over again that the one we loved isn't coming back.

It's like the needle of a gramophone getting stuck in the loop of an unpleasant-sounding record scratch noise. It's a bit like what C.S. Lewis says in his book A Grief Observed: "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out." I can't find the other part but he later said something like, therefore if a friendship is lost, the part of you that only that friend could bring out, is also lost. Something in you is locked away forever, though new things can also be unlocked after the loss.

It wasn't shown onscreen but I wouldn't be surprised if it's regular for Luz to come across a meme and be freshly reminded of her dad's absence, because she can't show him that meme. King would be wishing that a new funny cat video he discovers is something his dad could also laugh at along with him. Hunter would be hoping that Flapjack, the previous Golden Guards and Caleb are watching as he brings back palismen.

Bereavement, and any grief that is significant enough to alter our personhood forever, are the forms of love that can never really grasp how time flows in a linear way. They can't be reasoned with, only experienced.

"...the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wild form" - Megan Devine.

[jess-the-vampire]

Philip's death didn't really work for me.

I see quite lot of people saying it's meant to be poetic, and its meant to be lackluster by taking him from high and mighty to pathetic and a mess.

But that's not what bothers me, what bothers me, is set up with no payoff.

And also confusing consistency.

Caleb got a decent focus these last two episodes, his story with philip is alluded to and slightly dived into, and with philip seeing him and having such heavy focus on his conflicting feelings towards his brother you'd kinda expect his ending to involve him to an extent?

Whether that be him going insane or being trapped with his worst memories for the rest of his life about caleb. It feels more thematic, more painful, to watch him suffer with what he did, that he killed his brother for nothing.

But caleb isn't even mentioned in this finale, he had nothing to do with Philip's death, he's not even shown at all.

And then on top of this, Philip supposibly is killed via rain and being stomped to death......but he survived being mega blasted into a wall by a God child via goo.

So he can survive that? But not being stomped? It's not as if there's no goo remains of him left, king even mentions him being between his toes.

Like I just can't buy this actually killing him when this didn't work the last time they tried it. If a God slamming him into a wall didn't work, how is a few normal people doing it better?

And somehow he turned into young Philip? Which, I don't know how he can do that, could he do that this whole time? ( his powers are really weird to me)

I dunno man, its not like he didn't get what was coming to him, but this doesn't fit with what the show was building towards, nor does it make sense?

The main reason most people thought trapping him forever was a good idea was because he'd suffer longer and because he could never come back or reform.

But like, not only was this more merciful then he deserved (even tho him begging for his life and trying to trick luz was interesting), but this ending doesn't really sound like something he couldn't recover from.

He's such a good villian that felt like he deserved a bigger climatic death that was an climax to all the bad deeds he did, like everything came to bite him since he hurt his brother.

But we just didn't get that, its like when we had so much interesting conversations about him wanting to go home to earth and his anxiety regarding it.......but then it never comes up when he's actually ON earth from him.

I dont even wanna be mean, cause I know what the crew faced, but this isn't something that I think can be entirely put on the cut either. At the end of the day, the team chose this to be how they took belos out.

And its just underwhelming.

Hes the villian. But he's a GOOD villian, with an interesting backstory, and I can't say this ending fits what we had set up for him.

If it works for you, great.

But not for me.

I was fine with him going out being pathetic and everything like a bug, its just that it feels like we were setting up something much more personal then we got, and the fact I don't buy that this would genuinely kill him is the cherry on top.

I'll have time to mull it over so maybe my thoughts could change, but right now, I'm getting strong Toffee flashbacks.

There is still great stuff in this finale, but I don't think his ending was one of them.

[shivadh]

Have you described in any of the books or shorts what a Shivadh bow looks like, yet? As in, like, bowing out of courtesy, not a bow and arrows. I'm rereading Twelve Points again and I realised I don't know what to imagine for that. I would very much like to know, for reasons.

(Also I just realised, curtsy and courtesy are the same word. Performing your courtesy to the king. Performing a curtsy to the king. Wild, the leaps we make at midnight-thirty.)

Honestly it's one of those things where I kinda stumped my own brain. I mean there really are only so many ways to bow. And we know that the depth of the bow matters and also how it's executed because it's distinct from just Any Old Bow. (And curtsey as well of course.) So I've kind of been letting people imagine their own. :D

Realistically, I think what makes the most sense is for the curtsey to be a sort of Regency style, where you bend at the knee and bow your head, rather than bending from the waist. That's fairly distinct but still elegant. For the bow, what makes the most sense is to make it more melodramatic, like an actor's bow -- you put one leg back, bend at the waist, and sort of wave one hand outward. It's not necessarily the flamboyance of the movement, but the distance your leg goes back and the depth of your bend, that would count.

For both, the depth of it doesn't just show respect but also indicates rank, so you might bow deeply to someone you're very familiar with, but if you were the same two people who didn't know each other and you outranked them socially or culturally, you wouldn't bow nearly so deeply. That's why occasionally someone is surprised when one of the kings bows deeply, because most of the time the kings are barely nodding their heads, since it's acknowledged that they hold a particular rank. It seems like it would be a weird power trip but I think of it as the king acknowledging "Hey, you're a person, we're in this particular social configuration, I'm showing you respect by not treating you weirdly or trying to puff you up." And of course it's all contextual -- like most people you would meet in a day are basically your social peer because the Shivadh aren't highly stratified or rigid about class, but even Gregory would bow more deeply to an elder to show respect for their age. And you can imagine how much room there is to play with how you might snub or slight someone.

All of this said, most of the time it's considered a bit archaic. The royals do it more often because one, most of them are old nobility, and two, it's kind of a marker of someone whose job or duty it is to preserve culture. Gregory bows because he's king and it's expected of him, but also because his mother was the duchess presumptive of Askaz and it was just instinct on her part to teach him "proper" (old) manners. And someone like Caleb or Noah or Ephraim might bow more often because they weren't raised in Askazer-Shivadlakia, so it's both novel and aggressively Shivadh of them, like "Hey I definitely can do this and it's sorta fun." But most Shivadh usually just shake hands or say hello, bowing isn't something you'd do very often in a day if at all.

[smokestarrules]

Why Caleb & Evelyn’s Absence is Good Writing

So if you don’t know me, I’m a big fan of Caleb and Evelyn (Clawthorne. Because I’m sure). I’m fascinated with their story -- I wrote an entire fic about them in 2022 before we even knew Evelyn’s name -- and I find them both incredibly interesting considering what is both shown about them and not. Despite that, I had a feeling that neither of them would make an appearance in Watching and Dreaming, and I was right. 

Understandably so, some people were disappointed with that decision, that they were hoping for an entire flashback scene or something close to it. But while that also appeals to me -- oh my god does it appeal to me -- I also really enjoy the intangibility of it all. 

So, I have three reasons as to why I like that Caleb and Evelyn didn’t show up again, which I’ll go through in no particular order. The rest of this post will be under a cut because it’ll probably get pretty lengthy. 

1) Haunting The Narrative

Half of Caleb and Evelyn’s intrigue comes from the fact that in the end, we really  don’t know all that much about them. Everything that we do know is from second-hand accounts at best and the rest of their story is up to your own singular interpretation; we only know the bare bones of their tale, but at the same time, they’re both extremely monumental to the main plot of the show. 

They’re hardly ever shown centered on-screen (in Evelyn’s case, never), and again, despite their huge impact on the characters and world even 400 years later, it’s part of their charm that... they’re mysterious. You’re not meant to know much about them, not meant to perceive them as normal characters. Caleb never speaks in the show, Evelyn hardly even appears, and in the end, they’re not meant to be understood. 

Caleb seems to have undergone some semblance of a redemption, but that’s only alluded to considering how he ends up dead; the implied is everything, and getting a concrete answer would, in my opinion, ruin part of what makes this story so fascinating. 

Of course, the biggest argument I’ve seen against this idea is that casual viewers of the show, the ones who don’t care about combing the background of Hollow Mind for lore about Emperor Belos’ big brother, will be confused without the lack of context. And... I disagree. 

Sure, maybe some people haven’t seen the portraits from Hollow Mind, but they’ve certainly seen Caleb when Gus went through Philip’s mind in King’s Tide. Maybe they missed the book about Grimwalkers in Labyrinth Runners, but they definitely caught Caleb in Philip’s diary during Elsewhere and Elsewhen. Then, in Thanks to Them, there’s an entire scene in which Masha very kindly gives an entire summary on the topic, tipping off both the main characters and anyone else in the audience who may be confused. 

The story’s all there, both in the background and in the forefront of the show, and it’s weaved in so beautifully that it’s hard for me to believe that anyone would see Caleb in For the Future (of which is a scene I will be talking about soon) and have absolutely no idea who he is. 

So in the end, I think having a more clear understanding of the going-ons that set everything into motion would be almost doing a disservice to the fans who have spent their time piecing things together and it’s also not really necessary in the first place. It’d be nice, and I’m sure I would have gone even more insane with more to analyze, but with the way this show has always portrayed Caleb and Evelyn, them fading into obscurity in the final episode just seems... fitting. 

2) Philip Doesn’t Really Deserve Closure

It’s a simple fact: Philip Wittebane is kind of a fucked-up guy. 

Besides a flashback scene, another idea for a potential Caleb and Evelyn appearance that I saw tossed around most was this: it’s the end, Philip’s about to be defeated, and in the interim, he sees his brother one last time. 

Either he’s given forgiveness or not, Caleb being present at his lowest moment would undoubtedly mean something to Philip; over the centuries he’s spent a significant amount of time trying to remake his brother -- to make him better -- and no matter how you feel about him, Philip is a tortured soul. Perhaps Caleb could help him accept his inevitable death, perhaps he could have one last chance for Philip to have a moment of genuine vulnerability. 

He’d die with the ghost of his brother and the ghost of his brother’s wife looking over him, and he’d die content... maybe. 

Or you can go the other route: 

On the other hand, maybe Philip goes to his death kicking and screaming the whole way, with Caleb and Evelyn staring him down as he’s ultimately annihilated for good. The tale of two brothers is over, and while Caleb is the one who perished first, centuries ago now, it’s Philip who is undoubtedly the one who loses in the end. 

The last thing Philip sees is his brother’s hateful, tired face, and he dies with that image. 

Of course, that’s the one that sounds better to me; Philip is not a villain you could ever redeem (a cruel upbringing will not excuse everything) and to even make an attempt at it would feel cheap and be completely unaligned with ToH’s core values, which actively (and correctly) condemn people like him. 

The problem with both of these ideas, different as they are, is that both of them give Philip a sense of closure that he simply does not deserve to have been rewarded with. Either way, he knows for sure how his brother would feel about him -- or, at the very least, how he believes his brother should feel about him -- and it’s just that, the knowing, that rubs me the wrong way. 

In the end, the last time Philip sees his brother is in this scene in For the Future, and it’s safe to say that there’s no actual closure or anything close to it here. Whether or not you believe this is actually Caleb or just Philip hallucinating him (personally I subscribe to the latter), it doesn’t really matter because the idea stays the same. 

Philip spends this scene snarling curses at his unyielding brother -- who seems to be, notably, his younger self, given his hair length -- while also actively melting away in front of his eyes. Philip is the one who’s alive, Philip is the one who (he believes) is on the right side of history, and yet Philip is also the one on his knees, his entire body disintegrating slowly due to his own choices. 

As the episode continues, it’s shown that Philip is seeing Caleb and the other Grimwalkers that he’s likely killed as well, and they’re clearly more of a taunt to his already-collapsing mental state than anything else. Again I reassert my opinion that they’re not actually there, that they’re simply Philip hallucinating in one of his weakest moments yet, and because of that, there is no answer given. 

They stare; he tells them to “Shut up” and they don’t react in the slightest. They watch and they stare and they dare him to care about them in any way and the entire scene is just... a precipice. Eventually they disappear for good, and Philip moves on without even trying to process this phenomenon. 

Basically what I'm saying is that Caleb appearing in Philip’s last moments would give him too much credit. And that actually leads us right into the final point I want to make, which is this: 

3) Caleb Wasn’t Actually That Important To Philip 

In the long run, at the very least. 

Now hear me out. When I say ‘important’, I don’t mean that what happened with Caleb didn’t have long-lasting effects on Philip, because that’s simply not true; otherwise, my entire last point would be meaningless. Obviously, it’s Caleb (and to a lesser extent, Evelyn) who can be credited with initially setting Philip down this path; Caleb was probably the most stable thing in Philip’s early life, and losing him in a way that felt like abandonment -- and then killing him -- is undoubtedly something that would stick with you for a lifetime, 400 years or not. 

But Caleb’s death is also largely an excuse. 

Much in the same way that “saving humanity” is an excuse for Philip to commit the atrocities he does, Caleb’s betrayal pushing him towards that path and his subsequent attempts at bringing him back are also an excuse. 

Here’s the thing: if Philip was genuinely passionate about remaking his brother -- but better -- then he’d care about the Grimwalkers more than he does. If Philip actually considered every Grimwalker a potential Caleb that he could just fix, then he would not have been able to dispose of them so coldly. There’s dozens of their corpses piled under the Skull, yet he only even commits to memory a rare few. Even Hunter, the closest to Caleb a Grimwalker’s ever gotten, was given a Sigil! A Sigil, which tells me that no matter what, no matter how perfect Hunter may have turned out, Philip was never going to let him survive the Day of Unity. 

True, there’s definitely a part of Philip that hates the Grimwalkers because they can’t be Caleb, at least not in the way he thinks he needs (which is impossible, but I digress) there’s also a part that I think is just... carrying on because this is what he’s done for the past few centuries. It’d feel like giving up on himself to give up on the prospect of having Caleb beside him again, but there’s no passion anymore. 

In the end, I think Papa Titan said it best:

“...That man doesn’t care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion.” 

That’s exactly it. Philip believes himself as the hero of the story, as someone who’s been suffering for centuries but will one day finally get the ending that he deserves. He goes through all of this not because he wants to go home and not because he wishes he could return to the life he and his brother once had, but because he so desperately wants to believe in the delusion that he is a person doing all the things he does for good. 

You don’t live for over 400 years working towards a singular moment without at least having the thought that maybe what you’re doing is incorrect. But Philip has never let those supposed doubts stop him, and by the time the series is ending, nothing matters except his goal -- to see the destruction of every last witch and demon on the Boiling Isles.  

Which is why, in this final scene of his, there’s not a single mention of his brother. His brother, who he’s spent the last 400 years trying to save; his brother, who, by learning to be better, essentially kickstarted Philip’s entire goal, but it became so twisted so quickly as Philip subconsciously decided that he was the only one who could ever fix things. 

To put it simply: Philip’s only ever been concerned with himself. His idea of morality, his vision of the Boiling Isles, his opinions on the witches that live there. Nothing else matters; Caleb is a crutch to fall back on and so is the idea that Philip’s saving anyone, it’s all just more vindication to feed into his hero complex, because he’s the only one that really matters. He’s human and Luz is human and so they’re redeemable, but he stopped seeing Caleb as human the moment he saw him with Evelyn. 

In the end, I feel as if it’s almost safe to say that Caleb and Evelyn as constructs are more important to the all-encompassing plot than they are to Philip specifically; they set him on his path, sure, but his descent into madness almost feels inevitable, death of his brother or not. He blames his own misfortune on them, and the fact that they're never quite seen makes Philip’s villainous qualities that much more emphasized, I think. 

Overall, I loved Watching and Dreaming and I loved ToH and I think the characters of Caleb and Evelyn are some of the most haunting I’ve ever encountered, literally and metaphorically. 

Their story is largely up in the air, but it still gets told, you just have to look for it. That's their charm, that’s why they’re interesting to me, and that’s why I am content with getting the amount we got of them. 

[sepublic]

Anyhow there’s something indescribably sad to the Collector trying to reach out to Belos, of all people, and give him some compassion. Not just for what follows right afterwards, but also...

Part of their arc really is the age-old realization of how life isn’t perfect. Not just with existence and permanence of death, but also in that loss of innocence when you want to believe that you can save and befriend everyone. That nobody is too far gone, that everybody can be happy together!

The Collector has known Philip for centuries; He’s one of his longest relationships, and for Philip, the Collector IS his longest interaction, by a long shot. The Collector has been privy to so many of Philip’s secrets, by proxy of being a source for arcane knowledge, so they know all about the Grimwalkers and his human identity.

They’ve picked up on Philip’s loneliness, his insecurities; Even asking Philip about his anxieties over returning home. They weren’t wrong about any of these things! For centuries, the Collector reassured himself that the two of them were friends, and I wonder if a recognition in their similarities helped fuel this conception for the kid. Made them feel less lonely.

In the end, I kind of get the idea that the Collector cared for Philip, despite it all; Or at least was inspired enough by Luz to give her idea a shot, because if it worked on them, why not Philip? Who is just like them, because Belos thrives on making these comparisons between himself and others to manipulate them! And sure he was mean and a liar, but the Collector misunderstood King to be that, and was wrong! If they just needed help, then Philip...?

And that gets me back to the Collector’s scared and disappointed question, one he’s repeated all his life; What did he do wrong? What did he do wrong, for Belos to not reciprocate, to lash out? They don’t want to hold malice, they just want to get along... It ties back to this idea of kids and even adults kind of seeing themselves as the heroes of their story, there’s a responsibility for them to save others. And if they don’t accept help, then it’s the fault of the person who reached out for not trying hard enough.

It’s the devastating heartbreak that came to Hunter, to any kid who’s had an older, conservative relative who refused to change their mind. Refused to listen, despite all of the compassion in the world. And the grief that some people won’t get better, won’t get happier. And in the end, as Luz recognizes, you just have to admit that it’s up to those people to do so. It’s only your responsibility to a certain degree.

That’s part of Luz letting go of her Hero complex, whereas Belos never gives up on being a Savior, in trying to convert people like Caleb at any cost. Luz reiterates to the Collector that they didn’t do anything wrong, and King’s dad reminds her as well; Luz forgives herself for not being able to do enough, both for being a child who shouldn’t bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, and also for just being a single, flawed person. It isn’t her fault, there isn’t something secretly wrong about Luz for failing to save Belos. You can only give so much support. And after everything he’s done...

Well. There’s nothing wrong about Luz hating Belos, wanting him to die when he pleads for mercy, feebly tries to appeal to “peace” as if he’s ever considered that, spat and killed at every attempt for it by Caleb, his Grimwalkers, the Collector, his followers, Luz; Every kind person he’s met in the isles.

As King’s dad reminds her, fighting the bad guy doesn’t necessarily make you equally evil, because sometimes you HAVE to fight, in self-defense, because those people won’t quit. It’s not required for victims to forgive, nor should they try to appeal to ‘moral sensibilities’ by being palatable in how they retaliate against an oppressor. Anger IS okay and justified, and you shouldn’t feel guilty and be expected to always take the moral high ground.

For a kid like the Collector or even Luz, it’s a heartbreaking epiphany; Not everyone can be happy, no matter how hard you try. As King’s dad notes, you CAN’T control everyone and everything. But eventually, they learn to let go of those toxic people and that obsession; Accept and make the most of that, and find relief in this lesson. The show never admonishes compassion, even if it won’t always be enough; Look at Gus, whose arc involves realizing that while people may take his compassion for granted and even manipulate it, it’s not foolish and eventually there will be those who reciprocate. Kindness does pay off in the long run!

[direwolfrules]

Nothing bad happens AU where little 11-13 year old Ezra comes back from his Gathering with the Gunsaber and Jocasta Nu decides that this means he’s the true heir to the lightsaber rifle. There was a prophecy or something, idk. But obviously she can’t just give this child a high powered ancient weapon. Not without the proper training anyway. She takes it upon herself to kidnap little Ezra anytime he’s in the temple for Archivist training.

Meanwhile, Mand’alor Jaster Mereel finds out about the Jetii’ad with a gunsaber and decides he wants to adopt the boy. Now in addition to trying to break into the Archives (he wants those ancient Mandalorian texts dammit!) he keeps ambushing Caleb and Ezra for some light kidnapping forced adoption.

Caleb would just like these old people to stop trying to steal his padawan. Jango would like his dad to stop trying to adopt a preteen because “Buir you’re over 100 and you need to charge your hoverchair, get back here!”

There’s a perpetual tug of war between the wizard librarian and the elderly warrior king over this one child. It only gets worse when Ezra figures out the lightsaber rifle has a shotgun setting.

[rnelodyy]

I cannot get over how Obsessed Belos is with Caleb. It’s SO wild, and the deeper you dig the sadder and more disturbing it becomes.

Like,,, Caleb was literally all he had growing up. Their parents were gone, they were (presumably) homeless, they were two street rats trying their best to make it on their own. Caleb was the older sibling, so the weight of caring for Philip fell on his shoulders, even though he was just a kid himself.

And considering the motif of coping through stories (Luz finding comfort in Azura after her dad’s death, Hunter finding comfort in Cosmic Frontier while trying to cope with the fact that he’s a clone), I wouldn’t be surprised if Caleb tried to do something similar for Philip. From Belos’s memories, we can see they used to play pretend a LOT. It’s a lot less scary for a young child if they believe they’re going on wild and wacky adventures than to know the truth – that they’re homeless orphans, moving into a community that regularly hangs people for witchcraft, with Caleb having to do hard labor to afford food and housing and sending his brother to school, while having to sacrifice his own education and skip meals so Philip doesn’t need to go hungry.

Caleb used stories to shield Philip from the worst of their life, which blinded Philip to just how bad his brother was suffering. To Philip, life in Gravesfield was good, but it was only good because of how much Caleb was sacrificing for him.

So when Caleb met Evelyn, of course he took the chance to escape his shitty life. It may have even been a situation like Luz, where he only expected to be gone for a short time, and either returned to find Philip gone, or ended up being trapped on the Isles for longer than he’d anticipated.

Philip, meanwhile, is fucking Losing It. Caleb was his whole world, and now he's just gone, spirited away by an evil witch just like those stories they’d been playing out their whole lives. It may even be a situation like King, where Caleb knew he wasn’t being truthful with the witch hunter stories, but Philip genuinely believed them all.

So Philip goes into the Demon Realm, determined to rescue his brother. He’s practiced this, he’s trained for this, he just needs to find Caleb, save him from whatever tortures that witch has been inflicting on him, open up a portal back to Gravesfield, and everything will go back to normal. So he travels, he meets witches, he kills them, he either gets cursed or discovers that eating Palismen gives him funny powers, so he keeps doing that.

And then, after years of searching, he finds Caleb. Not chained up in a dungeon, or turned into a frog, or a shambling husk of his former self, but free. Happier and healthier than Philip has ever seen him. 

Philip tries to grab Caleb and leave with him, but Caleb refuses. The witch who lured him away is his wife now. He’s got a house and a job and a kid on the way. He’s got a Palisman, this stupid fucking red bird that follows him everywhere. Caleb’s good here. He’s not leaving.

And I think Philip just fucking loses it at that point. What do you MEAN you’re not leaving?! We were adventurers! We were gonna be witch hunters together! We were going to do everything together! Did she do something to you? Did you just hate me that much? 

Caleb tries to de-escalate, but eventually loses his temper himself. We weren’t adventurers, we were street rats! I was working so YOU could go to school, I was starving myself so YOU wouldn’t have to, I sacrificed EVERYTHING so you’d have a chance at life! You’re old enough to handle yourself now, it’s time to grow up and let me live my own life!

Phil’s not having it. There’s a fight, someone draws a knife, and… we all know how that one ends.

Fast-forward a bit. Philip, now alone and stranded on the Isles, has latched onto the stories he and Caleb used to play pretend with. He’s going to make them come true. He’s going to kill every witch in one fell swoop, become Witch Hunter General, and he’s going to do all of it with his brother by his side.

So he asks for the Collector’s help, and together, they make a Grimwalker.

Philip decides that this is his chance. He can raise this new Caleb properly, make sure that his brother isn’t swayed by the evils of witchcraft again. The new Caleb doesn’t look exactly the same but it’s fine. Having him back is good enough.

And then the new Caleb betrays him too.

Maybe he befriended some witches, maybe he tried to learn magic, maybe he had some reservations about the whole genocide plan. Either way, this Caleb has gone the same way as the first. 

So Philip kills him, and starts over with a new Grimwalker. This time he’s gonna get it right. This Caleb is gonna be the one.

But he’s not. He betrays Philip again. So Philip starts over again, tightening the leash this time. New-new-new Caleb can’t leave his sight, isn’t allowed to talk to people without Philip there, because it’s dangerous. But strict parents make sneaky children, and Philip catches new-new-new Caleb making out with a secret witch partner behind his back.

Philip realizes he needs to change his approach. Caleb isn’t listening to him? Well, he’ll make him listen. He makes the next one younger, establishes himself as an authority figure (dad feels too personal, so uncle it is), and makes himself the focal point of this new Caleb’s life. Continuing to call him Caleb feels weird, especially since there’s such a significant age difference between them now, so he gives this one a new name.

They’re going to be witch hunters, so he names the new one Hunter. It’s hilarious when you think about it.

And so the cycle continues. Hunter is born, grows up, rebels, and is killed. Over and over and over again. Philip grows numb to it at this point – he’s already killed dozens of them, and he doesn’t see them as individuals anyway. To him, it’s like a game, resetting and starting over from the last checkpoint to really, really get everything right this time.

He adopts his new identity as Belos, and lets Hunter believe it too. He preaches to towns, pulls more and more power towards himself, with Hunter by his side, his Golden Guard, the most perfect version of Caleb he can make.

They keep betraying him though, so with each iteration, the leash gets tighter. The Hunters become more and more isolated, Belos’s power over them greater and greater. Step out of line and be beaten, show disrespect and be verbally abused, betray him (which can be anything from actively trying to stop his plans to making a friend he didn’t approve of) and be killed, replaced with another Grimwalker.

Belos becomes Emperor of the Isles, and his Grimwalkers become his right hand men, answering only to him. Caleb by his side, just like he’d always wanted. Never mind that the Grimwalkers are nothing like Caleb now – they’re submissive, desperate for affection and attention. They’re afraid of Belos, but cling to him all the same, because he’s all they have. He’s made sure of that.

A few years before the Day of Unity, the culmination of his life's work, Hunter betrays him again. Belos got too lenient, allowed him to take on a student, and now he’s got all sorts of weird ideas in his head again. So he starts over, and this time, he makes sure that Hunter will stay pure and obedient until the Day of Unity.

No contact with the other scouts. No scroll, no crystal ball, no leaving the castle unless it’s for a mission. Keep the number of missions to a minimum, make him associate getting missions with good behavior. Monitor his training, monitor what he studies, keep him safe under lock and key. Make him desperate to please, never quite give him what he needs so he keeps clinging to you for more.

And it works. For a while. At least, until literally a week before the Day of Unity, Hunter shows up in Philip’s mind. And I mean, Philip doesn’t necessarily want to ruin this one, but he’s always liked testing loyalty. He can make another Grimwalker after the Day of Unity if this one fails.

And fail Hunter does, except… he doesn’t die. He escapes. Goes on the run.

Philip tries to get him back, sends out search parties and everything, but Hunter doesn’t turn up, and he’s got other priorities now. It’s fine, Hunter’s got a sigil. He’ll die during the Day of Unity anyway.

And then he fucking shows up to stop him! Him, a gaggle of witch kids, and Luz the Human, and they nearly fight Philip to a standstill! They nearly get the better of him! Philip tries to guilt trip Hunter back to his side – surely he doesn’t want to hurt his beloved uncle – but then what does he see? That Fucking Bird. Caleb’s bird. This one’s DEFINITELY gone too far now, murder mode it is.

But then oops, the Collector gets freed, Philip gets splattered against a wall, and the Draining Spell ends. 

However, Phil’s not dead, somehow. He manages to shift his consciousness to one glob of goop that lands on Hunter, and rides along to the human realm, determined to salvage the dumpster fire this whole thing has become.

He gains back strength, spies on the kids, watches as Hunter does boring child stuff that’s absolutely nothing like how Caleb acted, until… Hunter finds a bit of his goop, and like a dumbass, sticks his finger into it. And Philip, who by now has gotten the hang of this whole Venom-stuff, crawls inside a wound, and into Hunter’s bloodstream.

And as he grows in strength, he realizes. This is it. This is the culmination of everything. Hunter isn’t Caleb, but dammit, he’s close enough. Philip can save him now, save him from these witches who have been a terrible influence on him, he can finally, finally complete his great work, with his brother by his side.

So when he gets strong enough, he takes over. Consumes whatever energy Hunter had stored in fat cells and his magic heart and uses it to power himself, growing himself throughout the kid’s whole body. Taking him over. 

He’s finally united with Caleb again, he can finally finish what he started. Never mind that Hunter doesn’t want this. Never mind that Hunter fucking hates him for what he did. Never mind that Hunter isn’t Caleb, never mind that Caleb would never, ever have wanted this, never mind that Philip is now the corrupting force, it does. Not. Matter. 

And then “Caleb” betrays him again. Because of fucking course he does. Philip literally fucking invaded his body like a parasite and made him kill his own Palisman with his bare hands, and he expected Hunter to just fucking lie down and take it? To let him do whatever? He robbed Hunter of his childhood, of his autonomy, of his personhood, and he expected the kid to not just accept it, but be grateful for it?

Well... Yeah. That’s how far gone he is. That’s how far removed from reality Philip has become. “Caleb” isn’t even a person to him anymore, “Caleb” is some kind of personification of his childhood nostalgia that he keeps trying to bring back into the flesh. And it’s not gonna work, because nobody could ever fill that role. Even the original Caleb wouldn’t be able to fill that role – in fact, that’s why Philip stuck a knife in his chest in the first place!

He’s lost EVERYTHING. He’s killed his own brother, he’s reduced himself to a parasitic goop monster that’s no longer living yet unable to die, the plan he’s spent 400 years working on blew up in his face, the realm he spent so long fighting for has moved on without him, and his latest attempt to create a new Caleb to comfort him not only rejected him, but actively despises him now. No fucking wonder he’s gone even more batshit insane.

I don’t know where the story is gonna go from here. Philip is still obviously trying to carry out his genocide, and Hunter is on the fucking war path now, so I have zero doubt that there’s going to be some sort of clash between those two. Hunter now also presumably has access to Flapjack’s memories, so him gaining memories of Caleb is also not out of the question. 

Either way, Philip’s just gonna become Even More Not Normal about his brother, and I for one cannot wait.

[ophanim-vesper]

So... what did Titans actually look like?

Upon examining the murals, King, the Titan Trappers and Papa Titan himself, there seems to be inconsistencies with how Titans actually looked like when they were alive and grown.

So, I’ve gathered 3 theories to help explain this!

The Murals Are A Demonization Of Titans

This theory seems quite likely, of course a collection of murals, made by collectors, would depict their enemies as demonic and evil-looking creatures. 

I believe the spell the Collector used to make the Archive House is one created and taught by the Archivists, therefore the murals are according to the Archivists’ tastes and biases.

I mean, look at this mural. The Titans here are portrayed as skeletal beings (likely based on their now deceased appearance) and their wings are portrayed incorrectly (being on their arms instead of on their back). Plus the Titan Trapper in this mural is portrayed as heroic and valiant, further vilifying the Titans here.

One problem with this theory is that, in a world like the Demon Realm that has Snagglebacks and horrifying Teeth Fairies, it wouldn’t be too outlandish for the Titans to actually look like this, even if they were benevolent.

Plus, the mural in King’s birthplace still shows the same image for the ‘Titan’. Either the mural in that place is reversed (The actual Titan is the one throwing the spear, while the skeletal being is the enemy), or Titans did actually look like this.

(Interesting detail is that the giant monster here looks more like an otherworldly alien with a star on their chest, the patterns kinda look ‘space-like’ too. Makes you wonder what the Archivists actually looked like).

2. There Are Two Types Of Titans

This was a theory I believed in back when For The Future first came out. We didn’t know much of collectors and titans and the Collector-Titan war, so this made sense to me at the time.

The theory was that one of the Archivists fell in love with the Demon Realm and wanted to live there, so they became a Titan, specifically a ‘yellow-eyed Titan’. This created 2 Titan variants, the red-eyed Titans (the true Titans), and yellow-eyed Titans (Collector-Titans).

I mainly believed this theory because of the triple parallel it implied. Luz, Caleb and the Collector-Titan were all foreign beings who wanted to live in the Demon Realm, even if it was forbidden, or meant the disapproval of their peers/family members.

Also, I believed King was a descendant of the yellow-eyed titans, seeing how the Titans in the murals had red eyes instead of yellow eyes (though this could’ve been another instance of demonization). Though if this was true, it’d be cool if King turned out to be related to the Collector. One of the Archivists becoming a Titan could also explain why these murals only have 3 collectors instead of 4, one of their siblings was missing and they assumed the Titans did something to them, leading them to wipe them all out.

However, this theory can easily be debunked, as the mural where a Collector turns into a Titan could just be the origin of the Titan Trappers. Still, this is a nice thought and would make the entire story of the Owl House so beautifully poetic as these 3 separate narratives all carry the same theme.

3. Titans Can Change Their Form

This is the theory I currently believe in the most (though the second one is still my favorite overall). It makes the most sense, is the most realistic, and was somewhat shown in the finale ‘Watching And Dreaming’.

I believe Titans can change their size and shape, going from a more averagely-sized Titan (more closely resembling the Titan Trappers), to a colossal behemoth that resembles their depiction in the murals. I mean, when you live on a planet that you can take up nearly 15% of, it’d make sense that you’d want to change size so you could actually live on the planet. Also, Papa Titan kind of showed this in the finale, when he went from dad mode to bad mode.

So, much like Globgor from SVTFOE, Titans can simply change from a smaller form to their true colossal form. I imagine the colossal form is when they’re at their fullest potential, so they stayed in this form a lot while fighting the Collectors. The collectors saw this form of them the most, so they assumed this is what all Titans naturally looked like.

But those are my theories, what are yours? If any of you even paid attention to these ‘inconsistencies’. I’m probably just overthinking all of this and there were no inconsistencies, but still. Anyways have a nice day and keep watching and dreaming :)

[poledancingdinos]

Hostile Territory - Chapter 22

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 3.2K

Warnings: Past Sexual Harassment, Past Physical Violence, Masturbation (M)

Catch up: Series Masterlist

Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @athenepromachos @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions @kingliam2019

Masterlist

Day 204

Leah filled an entire shopping cart with vegetables, cheese, chips and all the fixings for a massive taco feast. That was, everything except the meat. For that, they stopped at a butcher shop on the way back. Sy hadn’t expected for things to still be so domestic after his conversation with Leah over breakfast but he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Sy was sure he’d misheard Leah when she told the man she needed six flank steaks but, as it turned out, it was no mistake. The small army Leah had referred to was not much of an exaggeration. Apparently, they were expecting up to thirty people which was about half the population of Warhorse.

It was a good thing they had taken Caleb’s car instead of his rental. They wouldn’t have been able to fit the multiple cases of beer, wine, juice and soda in addition to the groceries. It was also simpler to leave anything not perishable in the car rather than hull it in and out of the house.

By lunch time, they had finished their assigned task, the flank steaks had been put in the fridge to marinate and the two of them were back cuddling on the couch after eating a few sandwiches.

To Leah’s surprise, in addition to loving fantasy books, Sy was a bit of a history buff. He found a show about some famous British king and, though Leah had never heard of it, the leading men were pretty to look at so she was willing to give it a shot.

After the first episode, Leah began to feel restless. The show was interesting and, let’s be honest, the money shot twenty minutes in didn’t hurt at all, but she just felt like they should have been doing something… more.

“I guess this wasn’t exactly what you were expecting when you flew out here to see me.”

Sy looked down at Leah over her shoulder but with her back to his chest and her gaze stubbornly fixed forward, he couldn’t read her expression.

“What do you mean?” he asked, tightening the arm he had wrapped around her waist while sliding his other hand over her stomach.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, resting her head against his shoulder. “It feels like in the movies the people who get two weeks of romance before they have to go their separate ways spend them having all these big adventures or fucking like rabbits and we’re just sitting at home watching the X-rated version of British history.”

“To be fair, if we’d had X-rated history in school I might have actually learned something.”

Sy’s attempt to lighten the mood didn’t do much good. Leah still chewed the inside of her cheek like it was an olympic sport.

He pulled Leah up onto his lap, stroking his thumb over the outside of her abused cheek.

“Babygirl, when our two weeks are over, we don’t go our separate ways, we go back to Warhorse.” Sy pressed a kiss to her temple, threading his fingers through her hair. “We don’t need adventures while we’re home because we get enough life-threatening missions while we’re away.” The tip of his nose brushed the shell of her ear as he moved to kiss the side of her neck. “And you don’t need to compare us to a Nicholas Sparks movie as fitting as it might seem.”

Busted. She hadn’t expected for him to know what she was referring to but clearly he was well versed in cheesy military romances.

“It’s a book too,” she grumbled.

“Oh?” Sy smirked against her skin, lifting his head to meet her gaze. “Well if it’s a book then we should be following it step by step. Although that Dear John letter might not have the same effect if you hand it to me on base.”

Leah shook her head, slipping from his grasp and moving to stand away with her arms crossed over her chest. “We won’t physically be apart but we won’t be together either. We can’t be so what are we supposed to do then? Am I supposed to sneak into your room after lights out and sneak back before anybody wakes up? Do we go back to how things were before we left?”

Sy pulled her back to him, flipping Leah onto her back and slotting himself between her legs so she wouldn’t be tempted to run again. Okay, maybe she hadn’t run so much as pulled away but he wasn’t letting it happen again. “I wish I had an answer to that, darlin’.” He moved a stray piece of hair out of her face, gazing down at her in such a way that she already knew what he would say next. And for once, it didn’t scare her. “I just know that I love you and that I’m not ready to let ya go.”

“Yeah?” she asked, in barely a whisper.

“Yeah…” He’d never said those words to a woman before and he was suddenly worried he’d spoken too soon.

Thankfully, the cutest little shy smile pulled at Leah’s lips. “I love you too.”

“Yeah?” he repeated, leading Leah to playfully slap his shoulder.

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

Leah felt more than heard Sy’s appreciative rumble. “Yes ma’am,” he growled before sealing his lips over hers.

Her hands snuck up his shirt, exploring the vast expanse of his back. Pinned under his comforting weight, there was no space left between them but she still tried to pull him closer by wrapping her legs around his waist.

“Ignore that,” Sy mumbled when his erection pressed against her covered core. 

“You don’t have to.”

“I’m gonna anyway.”

By some twisted coincidence, breathless moans coming from the television pulled their attention away from each other and over to the screen where the King was being generously served by a woman on her knees.

Sy broke away from Leah’s hold, reaching for the remote and switching the show off. As he dropped back onto the couch, he took a deep breath, grateful for the moment of reprieve before he blew his load in his pants. Before they could get back to what they were doing, footsteps coming from the upper floor alerted them to the time.

“Shit, I need to get the car loaded. Caleb’s gonna be fussing with his hair until the last possible second so he won’t think to do it himself.”

“I should uh… I should go shower.”

Not wanting to draw attention to the little situation he would obviously be dealing with while he was in there, Leah simply nodded and moved towards the kitchen.

“Oh!” Sy looked up towards where Leah stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “Wear something warm and pull out some stuff for overnight. I’ll put it in a bag for later.”

Intrigued, the Captain made his way upstairs to get his clothes. As he walked by the half-open bathroom door, he saw Caleb bent over the counter as he styled his hair, wearing only a towel. With a smile on his face, Sy riffled through his duffle, tossing some clothes on the bed and taking his nicest jeans and henley to change into after his shower.

As he stepped under the spray in the small first floor shower, Sy was still at half-mast. As soon as he replayed the moment where Leah told him she loved him, he was back to granite. He put a hand on the wall and wrapped the other around the base of his cock, giving it a squeeze. There was no time to draw things out, he just needed a clear head for the rest of the night.

Leah might have thought he shut off the show to avoid making her uncomfortable but the truth was that he shut it off to stop picturing Leah on her knees for him. He would wrap that hair he loved so much around his fist and use it to move her head over his shaft.

The water rolled down his back as his muscle clenched with every stroke up and down his length. Sy released a shaky breath when his thumb slid over his tip just right. He slowly repeated the motion a few more times, causing his ass to clench as his hips bucked forward of their own accord.

“Shit,” he hissed, his head falling forward.

Closing his eyes, Sy envisioned Leah’s tongue darting out to taste the beads of precum dripping from his slit. Then her lips would wrap around the head and she would sink down the length of his dick, going further and further each time. Her small hand would work the bottom half of his shaft and when she would be done making him nice and wet, she would take her hand away and sink down until he hit the back of her throat.

Before he even realized he was close, Sy was shooting his load onto the shower wall. A shiver ran down his entire body as a choked moan escaped his lips.

“Holy shit.”

Though his chest was still heaving, Sy couldn’t afford to waste any more time. He quickly rinsed the shower wall and used the available bottle of body wash to clean himself and his beard.

Sy stepped out of the bathroom just as a voice sounded from the second floor.

“Leah, come on we gotta go!” Caleb ran down the stairs with his hair perfectly styled but his shirt not yet fully buttoned. “Where the hell did I put my wallet?”

“Your wallet is with your keys on the table. The car is loaded and the electric cooler is plugged in for the cold stuff. We’ll meet you there.”

That made Caleb freeze halfway through putting his shoes on. “The fuck you are.” He marched back towards the kitchen where Leah sat at the table. “Look, I know you weren’t legal yet but we made a deal when you got that death machine and we agreed you’d never drive it after drinking ever no matter how little and especially not at night.”

Sy didn’t appreciate the raised voice and was tempted to intervene but he knew better than to get in between fighting siblings or to fight Leah’s battle for her. Leah, however, didn’t at all seem phased by her brother’s outburst, crossing her arms and waiting for him to finish his rant.

“Do you have any idea how many motorcycle accidents we get in the ER and what kind of damage the riders get? Broken bones, concussions, road rash… that’s the injuries the lucky ones get. The unlucky ones go straight to the morgue.” 

“Are you done?” she asked, standing and walking around the table.

Caleb looked taken aback by his sister’s calm tone. 

“Sy has a rental car which he can use to drive us but I was thinking we could take the long way there with my bike and stay at the cabin tonight.”

“Oh.” Caleb let out a relieved sigh, wiping a hand down his face. He hadn’t automatically assumed she would be staying the night since the cabin only had one bedroom and they normally just made the half hour drive back so they could each sleep in their own beds. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell like that.” He pulled Leah into a hug, muttering an ‘I love you’ into her hair.

If Sy had to venture a guess, he would say that their open affection came from the unexpected loss of their dad. Caleb was obviously terrified something might happen to Leah as well. And who could blame him considering the things he witnessed every day working in a hospital emergency room?

“Do you ride?” Leah asked once she saw Caleb off.

Sy nodded. “I got my bike license before I got my car license.”

“So… What do you think about riding up together?”

With a sigh, he caught Leah by the hips, pulling her closer. She responded by clasping her hands around Sy’s neck.

“Darlin’, I’m willin’ to put my male pride aside for a lot of things ‘cause I know you’re tough as hell and independent to a fault but I draw the line at ridin’ bitch.”

He was expecting some kind of snappy retort at his choice of words but Leah just smirked.

“Who said you’d be the one ridin’ bitch?”

Now that sounded like an amazing idea. Leah’s bike didn’t have anything for a passenger to hold onto so she would be forced to wrap her arms around him if she wanted to stay in her seat.

“Well if you’re offerin’ so nicely.”

After Leah found her spare helmet and set up a GPS on the front of her bike, they packed their change of clothes in a backpack and set off for the evening. It didn’t take long to realize why Leah had suggested the ride. The fall colors were gorgeous along the open road. As a bonus, Leah’s body was pressed flush against his back, her legs framing his and her gloved hands fisted in his old leather jacket.

Sy was almost disappointed when Leah pointed out the dirt path that led off through the trees. 

“Finally,” Caleb said as they walked in. He was halfway through the back door, holding a stack of what looked like four by fours in his arms. “L I need you to cut up the vegetables while me and Lachlan finish setting up the yard. Camden will be here soon with the stereo equipment.”

Out in the yard, Caleb’s friend was raking the leaves, while Caleb began attaching what Sy now knew to be legs to a table top.

“There isn’t much room in here so we take the legs off the tables when we store them. It also makes them easier to bring in and out of the cabin.”

Leah had obviously realized what he was looking at while she began pulling the vegetables out of the grocery bags.

“Why not just use folding tables?” he asked, taking everything over to the sink to be washed.

“Folding tables are expensive for what they are. Plus they’re often really narrow so my dad custom built three different tables that were the same size and could be attached together with brackets. With a power drill, it doesn’t take much longer to set up.”

Leah was almost done chopping the peppers and onions when the next person arrived, letting himself in.

The man gave a general greeting to the guys who’d come back inside to wash their hands before dropping his bags and moving to stand behind Leah. He put both hands over Leah’s ears and turned to Caleb.

“Why is Leah in the kitchen?” he stage whispered.

Caleb laughed, waving off the man’s concern. “Relax, she’s getting the vegetables ready. No cooking involved, only her scary knife skills.”

“Oh, well that’s fine.” He removed his hands and set them on her shoulders instead. “Hey Killer, welcome home.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek before unpacking his supplies.

“Fuck you, I’m not that bad a cook,” she said, shooting a glare at the older man.

“Says the girl who managed to make a salad inedible.”

“You mix up the sugar and the salt one time…” she grumbled under her breath, looking back towards the cutting board.

Sy couldn’t help but smile at the adorable way she was pouting.

“Why does everyone call you Killer?” he asked, both genuinely curious and wanting to draw the attention away from Leah’s apparently lacking culinary skills.

A blush crept up Leah’s cheeks as she expertly sliced onions into long, even strips.

“It’s not everyone, just the guys who were around while I was in my freshman year of high school.”

“That doesn’t answer his question though,” Lachlan pointed out.

When Leah remained silent, Camden took over.

“One day, while me and our friend Niki were studying at his house, he got a call from Leah’s school asking him to come in because they couldn’t reach Caleb. When we get there, the principal calls Niki in and starts telling him how Leah was getting suspended because she attacked another student. The guy starts going on about how they will have to involve social workers if we can’t keep Leah in line and says that she needs a strong hand to keep her emotional outbursts in check. So Niki pulls me and Leah in and asks what caused the altercation. Turns out, the principal’s son had been calling Leah ‘doll’ despite her telling him numerous times to stop.”

“That’s when Niki asked if I was the only one being punished for what happened which was a stupid question seeing as they knew exactly who his son was and they knew for a fact that he could get away with murder.”

Camden hummed in agreement. “I was pre-law at the time so I gave him some speech about sexual harassment being a gateway to rape and that by not addressing the harassment he was condoning it and fostering a hostile study environment. It spooked him enough that he agreed to drop her suspension. Anyway once we left the school Niki made a comment about how Leah had every right to go Chucky on his punk ass. Killer kind of stuck after that.”

Never in a million years would Sy have guessed that Leah’s nickname would come from ‘killer doll’. In a way, it was kind of brilliant that they would use it as a way to praise her for sticking up for herself.

He remembered how Leah had said she’d isolated herself after their dad had died and realized it was probably a result of that asshole principal threatening to involve social services instead of admitting his own son had done something wrong.

“I’d never seen Niki so angry before,” Caleb chimed in. “When I got home from my midterm he looked about ready to hunt the kid down himself.”

“Still would have been better than Gage being the one to do it.”

“Fuck,” Caleb shook his head, clearly in agreement with Lachlan’s comment, “dad would have brought him back just to kill him all over again.”

When the three men stepped out to unload the stereo equipment, Sy slipped in behind Leah, putting his hands on her hips. “Is it all pet names that make you go serial killer or just ‘doll’?”

Leah looked outside, making sure Caleb was still out of earshot before she set the knife down and turned to face Sy.

“I lost my shit that day because he told me that if I wanted guys to notice me I should be a good little doll and only open my mouth when I wanted someone to stick something in it. I didn’t want any of them to worry more than necessary so I never told them.”

“Jesus,” he pulled Leah closer as if wanting to shield her from the memory, “I think that just ruined the word doll for me.”

He rested his forehead against Leah’s, taking a deep breath. 

“That’s okay, I like ‘darling’ better anyway. Or baby girl, that was nice too.”

Chapter 23

[flower-boi16]

The Duality of Luz and Hunter's Mental States in Thanks to Them

Hollow Mind is a pretty big turning point for both Luz and Hunter's characters, as they are both faced with traumatizing revelations that follow them for the rest of the series. But something that I find interesting is how both characters go in exact opposite directions in terms of their mental health after Hollow Mind.

It's no secret that, prior to Hollow Mind, Hunter was stuck in an abusive environment, never being able to make any friends or have much of a social life due to being isolated from kids his age by Belos as a way to keep Hunter close to him, so Belos could keep on manipulated and lying to Hunter, making him think he's doing the right thing.

In Hollow Mind, Hunter is faced with the truth that, Belos, the person he looked up to his whole life, was secretly a terrible person who was just using him all along, an never truly cared for him, that he's only just a clone intended to be a "better" version of his brother, Caleb, one that wouldn't betray Belos and stay loyal to him. Oh, and that he also cloned and killed his own brother over and over again. Hunter is obviously traumatized by this, having his whole worldview flip on his head and having to come to terms with the fact that his whole life and everything he knew was a lie.

But...after this, Hunter's well-being and mental health actually change for the better. Obviously, he's still traumatized by these revelations, but he's also now officially out of the abusive environment that he was stuck in for his whole life, now surrounded by people who support him fully. He has real friends now that he can rely on too now, no longer being isolated for his whole life.

And, while he hasn't fully healed from his trauma, and still has to keep his secret about being a grimwalker, Thanks to Them shows him healing from it due to being in a much more supportive environment. He's allowed to actually...be a kid for once, obsessing over sci-fi books with Gus and having fun with his friends during the summer. Thanks to Them shows that Hunter, while still traumatized and not fully healed, is on a road to recovery due to him escaping the abusive environment he was trapped in for years.

Luz, meanwhile, is the exact opposite. Luz's was doing well mentally up until Hollow Mind, where, she's faced with her traumatizing revelation that she helped Belos meet the collector, meaning she had some part in Belos' plan for the day of unity. After being hit with this, Luz's mental health slowly begins to go on a downward spiral, as she blames herself for the day of unity happening, believing it's her fault due to helping Belos. It begins her depression arc where she falls into a pit of self-loathing.

Her mental health only gets worse from this point onward, as in King's Tide, Luz fails to save the Boiling Isles and is separated from King and Eda, not knowing if they are even alive or not while there's god child running around causing chaos.

Thanks to Them shows Luz at her lowest point. She's now completely gone into a depressive state, no longer being the happy-go-lucky, bubbly Luz she was before. She still feels immense guilt over helping Belos and her self-loathing only seems to have gotten worse. She thinks that she'll lose all of her friends if she tells them what she did, believing that they'll never forgive her, showing how much guilt Luz feels over helping Belos and how much she believes it's her fault.

Luz even thinks that, throughout her whole time in the demon realm, she did nothing but make mistakes that ended up hurting others she cared about, and that her friends are all better off without her because she thinks she does nothing except make things worse for the people around her. The episode even goes as far as to give Luz flat out suicidal thoughts, as she says that it would be better if she never existed at all.

Thanks to Them shows Luz and Hunter's contrasting mental states after Hollow Mind, one closing off and becoming more depressed while the other gets in a more supportive environment and is healing from his trauma.

Just an interesting thing I noticed.

[the-paper-shredder]

Benny's Bible & What It Could Mean

It's that time again where I make a Wick theory. Or analysis? Whatever. Anyway, this is something I've been working on for actual years. Like, I first talked about my thoughts on Benny's bible back in September 2020. And oh boy. I got things wrong the first time because no one looked hard enough at the game's description of the bible: “King James Bible. Pages singed. Marked Passage in Matthew 12:43–12:45”. There's a marked passage, but I don't think anyone questioned or looked into what that marked passage is. So I looked into it. And you want to guess what that passage is about?

[43] When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. [44] Then he saith, I will return to my house from whence I came out, and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. [45] Then go with he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worst than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.

12:45 is what Pastor McAlroy retells in the bible's accompanying audio, but the previous parts are new, it recontextualizes what other people may have believed the “seven other spirits” meant.

It also gives a hint about Benny.

Now, before I checked out the entire marked passage, I theorized in 2020 that the man being spoken of was either Pastor McAlroy or even Duncan, while the seven other spirits were the entire Weaver family, or just the Weaver kids plus Sam and Travis. But all that was likely wrong in some way, and I have a new theory. However, part of this required me to find an analysis of the passage because I originally misunderstood certain parts of this so bear with me.

In the passage, an unclean spirit (another term for a demon) leaves the body of a man and passes through dry places and seeking rest but finding none and thus going back to his home (the man). He finds it empty yet swept and garnished (as in ready to be reoccupied). Then, this spirit takes seven other spirits supposedly eviler than him, and now eight spirits possess the man.

However, for this analysis we're going to take the passage itself literally, because yeah, I believe there is a demon/demon-adjacent entity haunting the Weaver family, but I don't think there's eight of them. 😭

Anyway, notice that the main spirit the passage talks about was seeking rest, like how Benny's mechanic is to not wake him up from his nap? Notice that in the item's accompanying audio, Pastor McAlroy's seemingly saying this during a church event. Benny was likely listening to it, and I believe it was foreshadowing his own death.

Look at the clues here, Benny in No Way Out has injuries reminiscent of burns and boils, suggesting he was alive and present for the fire that killed Mary. Her lantern is in his possession now, its accompanying audio speaks of the fire and the full nursery rhyme says there was one child still left, in the house.

Here's what I believe, based on the information we've been given: Benny woke up to the housefire and got out in a panic, likely resulting in burns present in his NWO appearance, then tried to find rest out in the forest. He presumably found none, went back home to the house empty and... different, to say the least. I'd say that while trying to find rest, he passed, either in his sleep or something else. Still not entirely sure on what the cause of death was for Benny, but I do think this was the events leading up to, during, and after his death.

(Also, the reason why I'm so hellbent on Benny being the one child left is because based on Benny's preaching, Tim and Tom went missing at some point before Benny, plus Caleb was 100% murdered by Mary and Lillian died after Caleb's passing likely via the well.)

What do you guys think?

[stillness-in-green]

I always disliked Shigaraki's initial answer to Spinner's rant in ch.220 because it gave me the distinct impression that he didn't actually have anything to say in response to his warranted concern about where they were going from here (besides restating that Kurogiri's gone, so deal with it). So I was pleasantly surprised to read your MVA in Memoriam post clarify that the Jap. ver. of his response was different. Though it's a little unclear how so besides referencing a line he'd use later.

Hey there, @bringbestintentionwhen! I got both this and your direct message asking for a fuller explanation about the rest of how Shigaraki starts his response to Spinner, which I'm happy to detail and then theorize about. Let me provide both a scan of the scene in question and just a bit of preambulatory repetition of stuff from my other post to establish context for other readers and get the part you already know out of the way.

This is the entirety of what Shigaraki gets out before Machia arrives; romanized, the Japanese would read, Dakara…  Ji… Ji is the first syllable of jigoku, “Hell”, and what I assume Spinner is remembering when he flashes back to this moment after Shigaraki’s grandiose promise to Ujiko, which leads with the same syllable.  (There, Shigaraki says, Jigoku kara tengoku made, lit. “From Hell all the way to Heaven.”)

As to the Dakara, my trusty reference Jisho gives several possible translations depending on whether it’s leading the sentence or being used as a conjunction; Caleb’s translation, above, is perfectly acceptable and naturalistic for the situation.  A literalistic translation, something that could kind of get across the gist (even if it’s hella clunky) no matter where you put it in a sentence, might be, “That’s why,” but for a sentence-opener like Shigaraki’s using above, “Like I already said,” or, “Like I told you before,” are the sentiment dakara is putting across—it’s an emphasis word for restatement, more or less.

Of course, as you may be thinking, Shigaraki hasn’t said anything like that before.  His “Hell to Heaven” line to Ujiko is for sure the first time he’s said anything like that!  So what is he getting at there?

I checked with my usual go-to for minutiae about Shigaraki’s early scenes in the manga (the ever-reliable @codenamesazanka) and neither of us could remember anything in particular that Shigaraki said prior to this moment that his Dakara here could really be a callback to.  He certainly hadn’t articulated that level of scorched earth approach before in front of Spinner!  He did tell Stain, way back when, that he wanted to destroy All Might and the society that worshiped him, but the boldest statement of purpose he’d given the League up through Chapter 220 came circa Overhaul: The next kings will be us.

So is it something in the scene itself, then?  I only see two things that he could really be intending to reiterate with that, “Like I said”: his earlier answer that they’re going to keep going like they’re going until they “finish”—that being his answer when Spinner first started questioning him, before Dabi got back—or a repetition that they’re looking for the Doctor.  Neither is real substantial, of course—either one would be better than just stressing that Kurogiri’s gone, which I don’t think was his intention, but neither would they present a concrete answer to Spinner’s concern.  So based just on the, “Like I said,” a dislike of the non-answer would be a pretty fair read!

With that said, though, there is one last thing in Shigaraki’s talk bubbles that we could look at other than just the words, and that’s the modulation implied by the punctuation.  Notice in the picture above that the Japanese gives Shigaraki ellipses in both talk bubbles, while the English translation copies the first ellipsis but changes the second into an em-dash.  That’s a pretty important distinction!  In English usage, an ellipsis would mean Shigaraki trailed off before the earth-shaking rumbling started, whereas the em-dash indicates the rumbling interrupted whatever he was going to say and he broke off.  C.Cook has not been the most slavishly accurate retainer of crucial punctuation in the world, but I also wasn’t sure if the ellipses/em-dash distinction was as clear-cut in Japanese.  To get some insight on that, I turned to my Translator Sis.

What she said was that the em-dash is not something you see much of in most manga—typically, the ellipses serves the purposes of both, leaving some potential ambiguity which readers (and translators!) have to just make their best guesses about based on the surrounding context/characterization.  What we have with that in mind is a talk bubble that nothing interrupted but that still contained a noticeable pause (otherwise there’d be no punctuation at all), followed by a talk bubble that gets overrun by the SFX—I’d say Cook’s punctuation gets that across!

I want to point chiefly, then, to that first pause.  Shigaraki was taking Spinner’s complaints seriously in that scene, I think.  He didn’t raise his hand or his voice to threaten, and his gaze during Spinner’s rant were very level and controlled.  Whatever he started to say, he broke off saying it and then started over before the walking calamity showed up.  The first ellipsis indicates this hesitation; combined with the fact that he’d never brought up Hell before such that he could smoothly reiterate it with that Dakara, I think that Shigaraki was actually about to spring the Hell line (or one similar to it, anyway) on Spinner.

As to how he was going to frame it to answer Spinner’s challenge, that, I can’t say.  I doubt it would have been the same, “I’ll show it to you,” he gave Ujiko, but maybe it would have been, “I’ll expose it,” or, “We’ll tear it all down,” something to echo Spinner’s talk of emptiness with a promise of an empty world—which, of course, he would take the first step to delivering in the vast crater that waits on the other end of the arc.

So, a lot of it’s open to interpretation!  Readers, Japanese or English, wouldn’t have had any way to know what Shigaraki was about to say in 220 when it came out; indeed, I imagine Cook had to just take a wild guess at a Japanese word that started with ji[1] and lucked out that he picked something he could smoothly fold into Shigaraki’s later line.  (The official English is “Heaven and hell both.”  That’s the case both online and in print, so if Cook didn’t get lucky, then the online version’s been retroactively changed to fit.  Uncommon, I gather, but it's been known to happen.)

Spinner’s the narrator in MVA, so it’s totally fair, and possibly even intentional, for you (the specific you, bringbest, as well as the general readership you) to be in his shoes of being frustrated by Shigaraki’s vagary.  To put it mildly, Shigaraki is not the best communicator in the world!  But just because he often fails to articulate his intentions well to his followers[2] doesn’t mean he doesn’t have things straight in his head.

Thanks for the ask!

1: I did not go all the way to the point of checking to see what else Shigaraki said in 220 that started with ji that Cook might have been leaning on or that Japanese readers could have made assumptions about.  Mea culpa.  Jiji, “old man,” does, and it’s the only word I know of that would fit if you assume Cook intended “He” as a stand-alone, complete word rather than a first syllable of an incomplete one.                 I don’t know how Shigaraki refers to Ujiko in the scene—if he ever uses jiji or oji when describing him—but an attentive Japanese reader would recall that they’ve seen the likely personage Shigaraki’s referring to as AFO’s doctor way back in Chapter 59.  So, if there was any assumption in the Japanese readership that Shigaraki was referring to a particular “he” there with his cut-off Ji, it would likely have been the Doctor rather than Kurogiri, who I’m pretty sure Shigaraki does not ever refer to as an ojisan at any level of formality.

2: See also his exchanges with Stain about conviction, with Kurogiri about his plans at the training camp, and with Toga when she and Jin found out they were being loaned to the yakuza.

[ll-but-its-random]

GUESS WHO JUST READ LORIEN LEGACIES REBORN?

1 thing on my mind: Fugitive Six.

Not the book, the group, if that's what they're called. I love them so fcking much, like what the he-

Their dynamics are so cool, and yes there is some room for improvement like Duanphen getting more scenes/lines or Caleb getting actual character development but otherwise it's perfect.

Found family! What's not to love?

One thing is that Five finally got some of his redeeming qualities highlighted and I'm thankful he had people who mean something to him- his relationship with the Loric cannot be salvaged, not even after he tried. He called them his only friends, he got genuinely worried about Einar and Isabella in the mission and he said he "actually likes" Ran, which is really the best compliment anyone got to him.

I totally ship him with Einar: 2 psychotic murderers trying to do good and see the best in each other despite what everyone else says. I feel if asked about it, Five would go all defensive, like "Me? Einar? NO. See it's this thing called mutual exchange. I make sure he's not assassinated and he deals with my emotions for me. So what if I rushed to save him a couple dozen times, IT'S MY JOB." Einar also could've manipulated him from the start, and everyone thinks so, but he fully trust Five and wants Five to trust him and see him normally- not as a monster or villain or anything such.

Then there is Ran- I feel that she was better with Fugitive Six than at the Academy, she finally got to use her powers in a good way. Caleb is sort of her confidant, someone from her last life she still counts on. Her, Isabella and Dawn are besties, you cannot change my mind. She had an actual purpose and no one forcing her into anything.

Einar is very layered and interesting, honestly. He's a drama king, and a dress up guy- I probably should take liking to killers but oh well. I think he does have good intentions and a sort of moral code, he just wants Garde to be free and safe, and even though there were probably better ways to achieve it, his monologue on having no choice but to fight really got to me. I relate to it. Screw everything else. Also, for the love of God, please stop shocking him every ten seconds and just let him be.

Caleb and Isabella are not really my favorite, but they are good characters and decently deep ones at that. I think they can be a good pair, but I read it platonically sometimes and both work very well.

Duanphen is badass, and her legacy could've been much more useful. I like the fact she just goes around fighting with a broken leg like it ain't bothering her and when she got those stitches from Lucas, she was like "Oh well, I'm alive". Her and Five have a bicker-siblings sort of dynamic and I'm never letting go of this thought.

Also, Nine and Five fighting is as good as I remember.

"How 'bout we get started now, tubby?"

"I'm gonna jam that toy arm up your-"

---

"What do you want, Five?"

"Just wanted to say, I'm looking forward to saving your stupid academy because you're too much of a loser to do it yourself. Later, bitch."

Also, do not talk to me about the ending, I will cry.