#and cjs is like: HOW YOU HAIR IS SO AMAZING USING THIS?!??

[unadulteratedbluebirdnightmare]

Krs uses these products 5/6/7/8/9 in 1 and he has an absolutely wonderful hair, skin, smell, teeth, kitchen(?) or whatever where these products can be used

[melodyanqel]

Far Away | cj

summary: times have been rough for jongho due to being long-distance from his precious family. so, he receives a surprise.

pairing: idol!husband!father!jongho x non-idol!wife!mother!reader

genre/tags: fluff, idol au, established relationship, married couple, family reunion, aniteez cameo

wc: 1k+ words

a/n: i enjoyed writing this fluff and i hope you luvs enjoy reading it (>⩊<)

Coachella ATEEZ.

The title is unreal to the members, the fans, and everyone else in the world. It’s another mega achievement in the group’s career, making it a golden moment in K-pop history. After months, days, hours, and seconds of their lives, the day has come, ready to bring a show. Most importantly, two secret guests are surprising someone. He doesn’t know that his wife and little girl are traveling out of the country to see him. 

The mother and daughter have made it to the airport. 

“Are you ready to go meet appa, darling?” You asked your beloved angel. She has her small hand holding yours. Choi Juhee, also known as ATEEZ’s princess and ATINY’s baby. A high-spirited two-year-old with the sweetest soul in the world. Juhee can make any stern, cold person melt on the spot because her cuteness is too precious. She has a strong resemblance to her father and it’s a bit uncanny. 

Jongho’s pretty boba eyes, round face, defined nose, and smile. 

Even her uncles believe Juhee is a ”mini Jongho.” 

“Appa? Where?” The baby asked her mother, looking around the area. You laughed softly, “Not here, but we are seeing him.” You tried to have Juhee comprehend that she’ll be with her father soon. Your daughter is still learning to speak and remembering people and places around her. She knows her uncles because she sees them every day. 

While waiting for the plane, you and Juhee sit by the entrance. Your little girl is playing with her JJONGbear plush, while you read the messages from the members, excluding Jongho, on a private group chat.

Joongie: Are you boarding yet? 

You: We haven’t yet 

Wooyo: Jongho has been looking at pictures of you and Juhee throughout the trip

You: Aww. Do you all miss us as well?

Yuyu: Of course!

Sannie: You two make our days better!

Minki: It gets boring without you two

Hwa: Y/N, does Juhee know she is seeing her appa?

You: She does and tried looking for him at the airport lol

Yeo: How cute! I’m excited to carry her and hug you

Reading the adorable and heartwarming messages makes you less anxious because you miss your husband. Jongho’s music career has been evolving as the years go by and the fame did impact his life. He had less time with his family and more about making hits to amaze people. However, you knew what to expect when marrying a celebrity. It’s not something you could control because you adore his hard work and compassion. Despite the idol image, he is still your Jongho. 

It was also Juhee’s first time on a plane. She stares through the window and watches the peach sky with wispy clouds glow on her face. “Omma, looks like ANITEEZ.” Juhee directs you with her tiny finger at the window. You immediately understood what she meant because she is obsessed with her ANITEEZ friends. “Oh, wow! It does look like the sky where they sailed their ship.” You looked at your beautiful child with fondness. 

Approximately eleven hours later, the mother and daughter landed in California. When existing at the terminal, you notice the group’s manager is waiting for you both. You greeted and thanked them because they knew you’d be coming and wanted to help out for Seonghwa’s surprise. 

The gorgeous city is lit up during the dark hours. It creates a magical ambiance that can’t be forgotten. 

As a new day begins, you and Seungah are getting ready to meet up with the guys. You also did your best not to let your husband know you were in the same hotel as him. 

“Omo! You’re so pretty! Are you an angel from heaven?!”

You are dressing up Juhee in a pretty pink dress with her hair in a ponytail with a glittery silver bow. It has become warmer, these days, so it is best to wear lightweight clothing. Juhee just smiles, revealing her growing teeth. Somewhere in the future, she’ll have a lot of people chasing for her. It once occurred to you that Juhee would be a musician like Jongho. But overall, you will support whatever decision she makes that brings her joy. 

“Alright. Let’s see appa and the uncles at the park. Don’t forget baby, we are surprising appa.” You and Juhee are finished getting ready. The outfits are stylish, the makeup is on point, and the hair is nicely done. You also put her JJONGbear in a small backpack. 

Upon sneaking up on Jongho, you and Juhee decide to surprise him from behind. 

The maknae and his hyungs are sitting under the tree having a picnic in a gorgeous park. Hongjoong is the first to see you and Juhee approaching so quietly. The members except for Jongho see them coming in their direction. They remained calm and quiet as possible. 

“While I was practicing, I tried to hold the flag properly during “The Real” performance but the wind–”

“Appa!”

Jongho felt his heart almost jump out of his chest when small arms wrapped around his neck. His eyes widened in shock, as soon as he saw his daughter’s gorgeous face. “Hi, darling.” You nonchalantly greeted your husband with a wave. 

At once, his hyungs burst out laughing and cheered ecstatically. Jongho comes back to earth and brings his baby into his arms. Juhee’s infectious laughter filled the air. Jongho presses a kiss onto her mochi cheek. You then join your little family hug. You placed a kiss on Jongho’s temple. 

“What is all this?!” Jongho is still confused. 

You couldn’t stop smiling at your adorable husband. “A surprise! We all set it up for you because we wanted to cheer you up.” You explained briefly. Jongho’s heart melted. You traveled hours long just to see him. 

He brings a kiss on the lips and the members squealed at the sudden bold maknae. Juhee didn’t notice her parents were sharing a sweet affection because she was too focused on the candy. Jongho slips away his lips from yours to say, “Thank you so much, my love.” 

You chuckled blithely. “You’re very welcome, my Haribo.” You called him by his nickname. You’ll never stop using it since you first fell for Jongho. 

Soon enough, the Choi Bear family and ATEEZ have a lovely picnic together. Not to mention, the members fought over Juhee to have her sit with one of them. 

[rinadragomir]

Ok, I want to start off by saying that I am a fan of all arts and am so appreciative of the time, passion, and work that goes into any kind of content creation.

I am also very particular about when it comes to art. There are mangas, comics, animated works that I have difficulty reading/watching or will not read/watch if I'm not a fan of the art style.

And as an artist I understand that art is subjective and not everyone likes it. Just as I recognize that not everyone likes my particular art style and that's ok. (Not trying to have people come for me like I’m trashing Charlie’s art cuz I am 10000% not.)

Charlie does amazing work and I like it, but it's clear that her style has changed (as most content creators do) since the TLH portraits she did and the pieces that are going in the journal for CC's new kickstarter. I'm a self- taught artist so terminology isn't my best, but her style now is giving semi cartoon realism, but airing on the side of the cartoon more now.

I feel that my unpopular opinion is that I'm not a huge fan of it. I really like the TLH portraits she did of Matthew, James, Christopher, Thomas, ect, but idk there is something about these new portraits in her style that I'm just not liking. Her lines are much sharper now, darker, more profound and it feels like all of the face shapes/ jaw lines are basically the same (and I know I have no room to talk since I draw in an anime style so one could argue all my lines look the same).

and I'm NOT saying that they are carbon copies. Jem clearly looks different from Will down to his eye shape which is amazing and looks great. But idk...maybe part of my disliking is also the inconsistencies? and I'm using that term lightly...but like

Clary's hair looking straight when it's very canonly curly. Alec and Magnus having basically the same haircut... (I’m not the best person to speak on Dru…but CJ’s flower card is different and feels more like how she’s described on the book). The lack of and absence of runes... and I know all of that can be personal preference/stylistic choice. After all, art is subjective and based off of the artist's interpretation (for the most part anyway) but I'm a stickler for details so it bugs me…

And I just liked the softness/ more realism style of the previous portraits Charlie has done for TSC than these newer ones. These new ones are nice and I do like them…just not as much…and there are some that I don’t like at all.

Thanks for reading my ramble 😂 I hope it made sense

Summary: I like Charlie’s work, but am not a huge fan of these new TSC portraits.

BESTIE I'M ABOUT TO CRY😭THE WAY I ASKED YOU MYSELF TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELING IN MY ASKBOX AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT IT

Okay okay, SO! You're so brave for saying this, LIKE YES WE'RE BEING FED, thank you for the content for our dying fandom, but damn...

Allow me to also start with: WE LOVE YOU CHARLIE, WE JUST LOVE TO COMPLAIN🥺

I can understand Clary's hair, she could have styled them, I understand few runes on James, maybe Cassie didn't clarify that BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE😫the first one looks like a dream and the second one... I'm not sure, it feels like sth is wrong about it but I'm not an artist and I can't say what exactly is off

BUT SOMETHING IS OFF RIGHT?

One time she nails the character completely and the next time BOOM JUMPSCARE

Is it Cristina? Is it... who's it😳 it can't be Dru

But also I can't blame Charlie, I mean I also prefer her old style, but I'm mostly confused by Cassie. Like...you paid for the work and had a chance to correct the artist or clarify some details about the characters but...you saw this and went YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, NO, NO NEED TO FIX ANYTHING IT'S ALREADY PERFECT

Girl—

[artyandink]

we could be more | interview | 1

A/N - Since I found no faceclaim name for Ivy, I’m making an OC called Raye McClaren. Enjoy!

FIRST DAY ON SET

“Today we’re here with the cast of Supernatural.” The reporter, Haley, announced with a smile. “We have Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean Winchester, Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester and the newest addition, Raye McClaren as Ivonne Rainer. How are you guys feeling having completed season two?”

“Do you want my honest answer?” Raye asked with a smirk.

“Absolutely.”

“Like I wanna leave- just kidding.” She giggled after getting a shoulder punch from Jared. “Exhilarating, cause I went into this not knowing whether the fans would like Ivy or not because, you know, late addition, so on and so forth, but she got an amazing reaction.”

“You really worked for that role.” Jensen grinned, nudging Raye.

“Like she actually worked out.” Jared teased, patting her on the shoulder. “Tell ‘em.”

“So,” Raye chuckled, “I got on set around halfway through the filming of season one, and I’m with Diane, the costume executive, and I meet Kripke, and he takes one look at me and goes ‘well…’ Cause Ivy’s a badass, we’re meant to have a-”

“- badass figure.” Hayley and Raye finished together.

“Exactly. So I’m wonderin’ what’s goin’ on and then Kripke just comes out with ‘ok, you’re gonna give us some muscles before your season two debut.” Raye then made a comical expression, which made Jensen laugh. “He gave me six months. I said ‘No, Eric, give me four’. I was that eager to get lean. Yeah, so I buy every exercise equipment thing and new-fangled object because I need to jack up.”

“We were like- are you sure?” Jared cackled, slapping his knee. “Cause she wasn’t an avid exerciser.”

“Now she’s terrifying; she’s a full blown adrenaline junkie, benching insane amounts and doing pull ups like she’s breathing.” Jensen chuckled, hand on her knee. “But we’re proud of her.”

“She’s our adrenaline junkie.”

“I can imagine.” Haley giggled. “And apparently you weren’t actually about to audition for Supernatural, Raye. What changed your mind?”

Raye giggled, running a hand through her hair. “Well, I was actually going to audition for The Devil Wears Prada, which I realise now that I had no chance for if Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep and Emily Blunt are in it, but Jensen called me up one day and told me about his TV show Supernatural, which he was on with Jared and they were lookin’ for someone with my description to play a character called Ivonne Rainer.

“I’d known Jensen since I’d been his colleague in Dawson’s Creek in ‘03 as CJ’s eventual girlfriend and best friend Autumn and again his love interest Alyssa in Dark Angel, so I was hyped to be on another set with him. I told my agent, Carly, to book me an audition and I turned up in the wardrobe which I thought Ivy would wear. I felt so nervous, but thank the stars that before every audition I start method acting - I terrified the hell out of Carly - and I was already in the zone.”

“Think about it.” Jared smirked, gesturing and Jensen. “If he wasn’t here, she wouldn’t be.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s true and you know it.”

“I’ve got a big head about it.” Jensen winked.

“You two won’t let me live it down.” Raye shook her head with a soft smile. Jensen patted her knee, then took her hand.

“Raye and I had worked together a lot and our on screen chemistry was insane, so I had to get her on Supernatural. And after Dark Angel, of course she’s fit for Ivy, and I can’t see anyone who’d do a better job.”

“Aw, Jen.”

“You’re great at what you do. Don’t sell yourself short, y’hear?”

“Loud and clear.”

“So, guys, what was your favourite scene to film so far?” Hayley asked, smiling a bit at Jensen and Raye.

“These two have done too much talking, so I’ll start.” Jared grinned. “Uh, I’d say the play fight scene in Tall Tales. That one was particularly memorable because Jensen and I are just rolling around, Raye pushes us both off the bed- it’s just an amazing scene.” Jensen and Raye shared a knowing smirk, which caught Jared’s eye. “Uh, the look on their faces probably means they have a shared answer.”

“I think we do.” Raye smirked, and Jensen nodded.

“Wanna say it together?” He snickered.

“On three. One, two-“

“The sex scene.” They chorused, then giggled.

“It’s cause while Jen and I had kissing scenes before, we’d never had a sex scene.” Raye shrugged, looking over at Jensen. “It tested our calibre as actors in the moment.”

“Eric Kripke’s only instruction was go intense.” Jensen grinned, his hand sliding up to Raye’s mid-thigh. “And we had to stay as in sync as possible cause a lot of things could go wrong, but we managed to get through it.”

“The fans loved it too.”

“Oh, they went mad.”

“See, these two have something brewing in the fan base.” Jared smirked, nudging Raye. “The fans call ‘em Raysen.”

“But, sadly, there’s nothin’.”

“Yet.”

“Shut up.”

[whereismyhat5678]

@oddpizza I hope you don’t mind me calling you over here but since you inbox ain’t open I NEED to express my feelings about your art because MY FUCKING GOD YOUR ART IS SO GOOD

Like HOLY SHIT the colors and lineart I LOVE YOUR SKETCHES is it pen you use for it that shit’s INSANE?? Not only that but the way you draw your characters are JUST SO STARRABLE LIKE CJ is a treat to look at their design is ADORABLE‼️‼️ 💕💕

Don’t even get me STARTED ON HOW YOU DRAW THE FOLLOWING: Peppino, Gustavo, and Fake Peppino BECAUSE OH MY GOD

I LOVE how you Peppino he’s so SHAPED and EXPRESSIVE I NEED YOUR FUCKING TALENT BRO- Not to mention anytime you draw him I can’t help but just hold respect for you YOUR ART IS FUCKING AMAZING‼️💥‼️💥‼️💥

Gustavo is SO FUCKING CUTE in your style when you draw him I’m like:

AND FAKE PEPPINO HOLY SHIT

I ADORE THE WAY YOU FUCKING DRAW HIM. He’s so CREEPY with the mix of COOL I JUST RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH I CLAW MY FUCKING EYES OUT TEAR AT MY HAIR IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY POSSIBLE JUST SO

I’M NOT EVEN A BIG FAN OF FAKE PEPPINO BUT OH MY GOD????? YOUR ART-

YOUR ART💥💥💥💥

*Inhale*

That’s all I wanted to say your art is amazing and I hope you see this. I’m sincerely sorry I didn’t follow you earlier because you are OOZING talent.

[cloudwolfieaskblog]

It's been six years since H4RP13 united the deadly enemies SCP-076-2 –better known as Abel– and Dr. Bright. Since then the three have been living in a polyamorous relationship, sharing tender moments of love, struggles and passionate nights with each other. It was a rocky road to walk, but it worked out.

It worked out so well, that the triad had been blessed with two children of their own: Abel sired a daughter named Hilda, her Raven black hair complete with white splotches from H4's side. Her ruby eyes piercing but also tender and so full of the childlike wonder.

Jack on the other hand contributed to giving life to a sweet baby boy called Caden James, or just CJ for short. His hair strawberry blonde and fading into a pastel purple like a sunset, his green eyes sporting H4's star shaped pupils.

But six years passed by like they were nothing, bringing forth the changes as well. The children are old enough for school now, their anomalies yet to manifest. The silence of the cozy home the family was allowed to inhabit was interrupted by excited knocks of four rubber soles against the tiled floor.

Abel and Jack were cuddling on the couch in the living room and sharing loving glances and whispers of pure affection when the steps grew loud, snapping the two men out of their moment.

H4 followed further behind as the kids immediately rushed to their dads for a tight hug, happy to be home at last.

"We're home!" –H4 called cheerfully, their high pitched voice almost singing the words. Their soft paws barely made a sound on the tiles, their claws retracted to preserve them for times of need.

They walked over to their lovers and gave each a soft kiss on the lips, then sat down in one of the arm chairs, basking in the warm afternoon glow like a lizard.

"How was your day, darlings?" –Abel asked both children, smiling at their natural excitement and curiosity.

"Papa Abel, look!" –CJ exclaimed and showed an ugly stickman drawing of the family hugging each other, all happy together. "This looks amazing, Caden." The warrior remarked and got up. "I'll put it on the fridge."

As he walked, he suddenly froze before the threshold of the kitchen, the boy's words sinking in and drawing tears from his eyes.

"Did you... Just call me... Papa?" The immortal barbarian inquired, more tears trickling from his eyes his voice cracking awkwardly. "Yes, papa Abel." Caden repeated the name. The next thing everyone knew, Abel swooped up the strawberry kid and held him close, the drawing falling from his hands and caught by his boyfriend, Jack.

"What do you think, daddy?" Hilda asked, looking at Dr. Bright with curiosity and anticipation. "I think it it looks great, Hilda." Then Jack had to pause as he was about to form the next words. "Wait.... What did you call me...?" He asked his step daughter to confirm what he heard.

"Umm.... Daddy...." The girl repeated and climbed on the site director's lap for a hug. Jack teared up as well and pulled the girl close affectionately, letting his tears fall.

The two men sobbed in joy as their step-children acknowledged them as their parents, holding them the whole time. H4 smiled as the scene unfolded, proud of how far the relationship evolved, proud of their children, but most of all, proud of their boyfriends for bridging the rift that used to be between them to the point that now they can love each other's children as their own.

The sobs quieted after a good thirty minutes and the little family of five got up and headed out to the backyard to play together, their chatter growing distant from the lit room.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

To Raise Children: Chapter 13

Chris Evans X Daughter!Reader, Grandpa!Chris Evans X Flynn and Felix Evans (OCs) Tom Holland X Single-Mom!Reader (Slow Burn)

Series Masterlist

OC List

Series Summary: It's been 4 years, your sons are starting kindergarten, you're starting junior year of college, a lot has changed.

Chapter Summary: You have a conversation with your mom.

Series Warnings: Age gap (Reader is 20, Tom is 29), absent father, mentions teen pregnancy, mentions abortion, if you see anymore please let me know politely.

Chapter Warnings:

Sequel to "It Takes A village"

You glare at your phone as another message comes through. He's been spamming you all day. You are tired of it. What could he want anyway, why would he want contact with them? He never tried to reach out when you were pregnant or the last 5 years. You've been doing it without him, and you didn't need him. But did the boys need a dad? You were raised by a single mom but you had a dad still, you talked every day. You have a good dad and the boys will never get that. Sure they have a lot of father figures but no real dad.

You didn't think they have noticed, they never asked about it. They're in school now so they'll eventually notice that they don't have a dad. You never thought you'd be here, raising twins on your own and living in your dad's house.

"Hey Sweetheart your nana invited us over for Thanksgiving next week." Chris says walking over. "Is he still texting you?"

"Yep." You look at the messages. You read through few, all of them insulting you, saying that you have to let him see his kids.

You wanted to know the reason why he decided that now, five years later he wants to be a dad. To your kids, CJ told you he got another girl pregnant and again wouldn't take account for his actions. According to CJ she put the baby girl up for adoption. That's all you know though.

"Sweetheart ignore him, he wants to take credit for your hard work raising those boys." Chris tells you looking outside at the boy. He watches as Flynn pushes Felix. "Well you could blame him for that, having no dad made them aggressive." He teases.

"They're just brothers, messing around." You say as the boys begin wrestling in the yard. "Dad I don't get it! It's been almost six years since I told him I was pregnant and now he wants to step up."

"Saw that they're doing amazing without him and wants to come and claim he's the reason for it okay."

"Yeah." You look down at the floor.

———

"Hello?" You answer the phone.

"Hello sweetie!" Your mother responses.

"Hey mom what's up?'

"Just calling to checkup on the boys."

"They're fine. Oh Jake got my number some how, he expected me to just welcome him into my kids lives. After he told me he wanted nothing to do with them."

"I gave him your number! He told me he wants to be in their life, now that he's done with college!"

"You did what?! Mom I told you I didn't want him to have my number."

"You have to forgive him, those boys need a father." She tells you, "besides if you forgive him you can move back to Texas! So they can have some time with their Meemaw."

"Mom. I'm never going to move back to Texas, especially since I can't take them away from dad since he's been the only constant male figure in their life." You argued, "and Jake decided now that he's out of school he wants to be a parent. But I had to go through highschool with two babies."

"Sweetheart whether you like it or not those kids need a dad."

"Maybe they do but a dad would want his kid from the very beginning not just when he's ready." You sigh, as you hang up on her.

"Boys! Time to come inside!" You hollered outside. Both boys groaned but starting running up, and you could vaguely hear Felix shout "Race you!"

"Mommy can we have pizza for dinner?"

"Sure ask your poppy if he wants any." You tell Flynn he grins before hurrying off to find his grandfather.

"Hey Felix wanna order the pizza with me?" You ask the young boy, he nods his head. His messy black hair falls into his eyes. You'll have to cut their hair soon, and you're qualified for it. Unlike your mom who accidentally have you uneven bangs and a weird-looking bob right before picture day when you were in the 4th grade. Your dad was very surprised when that was the photo that he got. Yet it sits on the mantel still.

"Yeah!" He says brushing his hair back.

"This weekend do you want me to give you a hair cut?" You ask as he follows you to the entry way where you left your purse.

"Sure! Is Flynn getting his hair cut?"

"If he wants it yeah." You put a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay!

Taglist: @fic-for-readers @denisemarieangelina @thevelvetseries @kaitieskidmore1 @ellerosie2332 @tahniemarie @runawayolives @marajillana @buckybarnez @positivelyholland @firehoseevan @coldmuffinpartycloud @beautifulrose0809 @believinghurts @laura-naruto-fan1998 @shadow-dixon @claaaaaaire-blog @mrs-brekker15 @h-j-s-03 @moniffazictress11 @buxkybarnes @ducks118 @kalopsia-flaneur @silverrmist @some-lovely-day @peterparkerbae @Olivia197810 @gengen64 @snigdha-14 @hollzo-03 @bubb1eana1ee @cmalas @bucketbarnes12 @cedricdiggorysimpp @jamie0515

[allthingsfangirl101]

Old Friends–Matt Brody

Warnings: slight language

Matt's POV

I walked around the beach, the sun beating down on me. I looked around to see families playing, friends laughing, and college kids partying.

"Damn," I mumbled under my breath. "I fucking hate spring break."

"It's not that bad," Mitch laughed.

"Yeah, it is. Nothing but drunk college kids, partying and finding new spots to fu. . ."

I turned around, freezing mid-word when I saw her.

"What is your problem?" He laughed as he tried to follow my gaze. "Who is that?"

"I can't believe. . ." I stuttered. "She's. . . I haven't seen her since senior year."

"Who is she?"

Instead of answering his question, I turned on my heel and jogged towards the lifeguard shack. I ignored the questioning looks from Holdon, CJ, and Ronnie as I walked into the locker room.

"Brody," Matt said as he walked in. "What the hell is going on? You saw that girl and started acting like a teenage boy being paired up with a girl for the first time."

He stopped laughing when he saw the look on my face.

"I never thought I would see her again," I mumbled as I sat down on the bench and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Who was that girl and why do you look like you're going to pass out?" Mitch asked as he sat down across from me.

I sighed as I slowly looked up at him. "Her name is Y/N. We grew up together. She was my best friend."

Mitch looked at me skeptically before asking, "If she used to be your best friend, why did you freak when you saw her?"

"I just. . ." I stuttered. "I never thought I'd see her again."

"Well," Mitch chuckled as he stood up. "She's right outside. Go talk to her."

The way he said it made it sound so simple. If only it was.

                          * * * * *

My heart jumped into my throat the next day when I saw Y/N and her friends were back. I found myself watching her all day. While her friends drank, danced, and went in the water, Y/N sat on her chair and read.

I smiled when I remembered how growing up, Y/N never left her house without a book. With her nose buried in a book, she was always at the gym with me while I trained.

"The longer you stare, the creepier it gets."

I looked over to see Mitch walking over, a knowing smirk on his face.

"I'm not watching her," I stuttered. "I'm doing my job."

"Come on, man," he sighed. "You have been staring at her every second since she's been here and you continue to stare at her the entire time you're outside. Just go talk to her."

"I can't," I sighed.

"Why not?" Mitch asked, slightly laughing.

"Because I left her," I sighed.

"What do you mean?"

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Senior year, before I got the offer to join the US Olympic team, we had planned to go to college together. Even with our plans, Y/N was nervous. She was extremely introverted growing up and didn't make friends easily. As we got closer to graduating, she started getting nervous about moving away from home and starting over. So, I made her a promise. I promised to always be there for her, to help her in every way I could but. . ."

"You left to train with the Olympic team instead of going to school with her," Mitch finished for me.

"The day I left," I sighed, the memories weighing me down, "she told me that she was proud of me, but I could tell how hurt she was. It was clear that I had let her down."

Mitch thought about it for a second before speaking up, "Have you tried to reach out to her?"

"I've written emails, texts, even wrote out what I would say on the phone, but I never had the guts to actually reach out." I looked back over to her, my heart sinking. "She probably hates me."

"You never know until you take the chance." Mitch patted me on the back and sighed, "Take the chance, Brody."

As he walked back into the office, I bit my lip and studied Y/N. Before I could talk myself out of it, I left my post and walked over to her still reading alone.

"Not many people bring a book to the beach."

I held my breath as Y/N looked up from her book. It took her a second to recognize me. But when she did, her eyes widened. I laughed as she dropped her book and quickly stood up.

When she was on her feet, she didn't hesitate to jump into my arms. I laughed as I instantly caught her, slightly spinning her around. I couldn't help but notice how it felt to hold her again.

I finally put her down and she leaned out of the hug. She giggled as she took me in.

"Matt," she chuckled. "I can't believe. . . All these years. . . You're blonde!"

"I am," I laughed. "I just thought it might umm. . ."

"It looks great," she reassured. I subconsciously ran my fingers through my hair, unable to look away from her.

Y/N gasped as I pulled her back into my chest and wrapped her in another hug. She giggled as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I can't believe how much I've missed you," I said under my breath.

I broke the hug and awkwardly cleared my throat. I looked around to see a few of her friends watching us.

"Do you umm. . . Maybe we can. . ." I cleared my throat again, forcing myself to stop acting like a nervous middle schooler. "Do you think your friends would mind if I stole you for a little bit? We could go to lunch and catch up."

Y/N smiled as she glanced over at her smirking, giggling friends. "I don't think they'd mind."

                          * * * * *

"So?" Mitch asked in a sing-songy tone as I walked into the lifeguard shack after my lunch with Y/N. "How was lunch with the one and only amazing Y/N?"

"It was great," I sighed as I sat at my desk.

"I'm guessing she didn't slap you in the face and tell you off," he tried to joke. I glared at him before rolling my eyes and looking away. "Matt, what's up?"

"I just. . ." I grunted angrily as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Being with her again brought back feelings I thought I got rid of."

"Feelings?" Mitch repeated. "Holy shit. Do you. . ."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'm in love with her."

"I'll be damned," he mumbled under his breath.

"I've been in love with Y/N since middle school," I confessed. "I was in love with her but I left. How could I. . . I put a stupid Olympic career before the girl I've been in love with since we were twelve."

Mitch walked over and sat on the edge of my desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Brody, from what I saw when she jumped into your arms, she doesn't care that you left." Before I could interrupt him, he continued, "It may have been hard for her after you left, but she definitely hasn't held it against you. The only thing stopping you from being with the girl you claim to be in love with since you were twelve is you."

Mitch sighed as he stood up, fixing his shirt. "Matt, Y/N is still here. I guarantee that if you let her go again, you won't get another chance."

As he walked back to his desk, I thought about what he just said. As soon as I realized he was right, I stood up and ran outside. Mitch laughed as the door slammed behind me.

When I got outside, the sun blinded me. I searched the beach as my eyes adjusted to the light. My heart jumped into my throat when I finally found Y/N walking across the beach.

I started running towards her, no idea what I was going to say. The closer I got to her, the less I knew what I was going to do. Y/N looked over and smiled when she saw me running towards her. When I finally got to her, I was out of breath.

"Hey, Matt," she laughed as she watched me struggle to catch my breath. "Nice lifeguard run. You okay?"

I caught her off guard by grabbing her face. "What are you. . ."

Before she could finish her question, I pressed my lips to hers. I felt her suck in a surprised breath. She hesitated before wrapping her arms around my waist and slowly starting to kiss me back. When neither one of us could breathe, I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against Y/N's.

"Matt," she stuttered, still trying to catch her breath.

I leaned back and looked into her eyes. I scanned her face, trying to get a hint at what she was thinking.

"There's something I need to tell you," I said, finally breaking the silence.

"What is it?" Y/N asked under her breath.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out.

"What?" She gasped. "You're in. . . You. . ."

"I'm in love with you," I repeated. "I've been in love with you since we were twelve. I don't know why I never told you. But then I got that offer to go to the Olympics and I took it. I took it because you convinced me it was a great opportunity. I know I should've told you before I left. I just. . . I was scared of what would happen after telling you how I felt. I was worried that you wouldn't feel the same way and I'd lose you. So instead of risking that, I left without telling you the truth. I never should have left you, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I know you have a life of your own and have completely moved on so I understand if you don't feel the same way. It's been years since we last saw each other. We have our own lives and I understand. . ."

This time, Y/N cut me off by grabbing my face and pressing her lips to mine. I didn't hesitate to immediately start kissing her back. I couldn't help but moan as I pulled her tighter into my chest.

She broke the kiss, slowly lowering off her toes. She bit her bottom lip as we caught our breaths.

"Matt," she whispered, my name sounding heavenly coming out of her mouth. "I've been in love with you since we were kids, too."

My heart jumped into my throat at her confession. Before she could say anything else, I pulled her into my chest and picked her up, slightly spinning us around. Y/N giggled as I put her back down, slowly pulling out of the hug.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered. "I just. . . I've imagined you saying that to me since I was, like, thirteen."

"I've imagined you coming back from the Olympics and confessing your love for me hundreds of times," Y/N said with a soft smile.

I made her gasp as I pulled her into my chest and pressed my lips to hers. This kiss was soft and short but it said just as much as the others. When I broke the kiss, I leaned my forehead against hers.

"Can I take you to dinner tonight?" I whispered. "I think it's time I finally take you on a date."

Y/N leaned back and looked up at me through her eyelashes. She bit her lip, nervously chewing on it before nodding.

"I think it's about time for that too," she smiled.

I looked over Y/N's shoulder to see Mitch watching us with a proud smirk. He sent me a wink before turning on his heel and heading inside the lifeguard shack.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Encore - POYW - Harry Hook x reader - Part 24 - Sisters

=

you and Harry woke up to loud knocks on Harry's room door, you had decided to stay the night at the ship since your room was just so damn warm and Harry's room was nice and cool. You glanced at the clock on Harry's wall and sighed, it seemed you had slept in a bit as the clock read 12:30 pm.

Harry sighed and sat up, standing from the bed and walking over to his door, creaking it open and yelping as he was pushed back by a blonde and red blur “Hi CJ” Harry grunted out, CJ laughing as she pushed off of him and skipped over to you, Harriet entering the room a moment later “Harriet, what do yeh want?”

“We’re stealing your fiancé, (y/n) get dressed, CJ keep Harry down” CJ leaped over your body and slammed down onto Harry, trapping him to the mattress.

“Oi!” Harry snapped, ripping his arm out of CJ’s grip and pushing her face, glaring at Harriet as she walked over to you and pulled you out of the bed “No! She's mine! Leave ‘er alone!”

CJ and Harriet shared a dangerous smile and CJ pinned Harry to the bed again “Quick get her dressed so we can escape!” Harry let out a snarl as you quietly laughed, grabbing a red shirt and black jeans. Stepping into your bathroom to quickly get dressed, popping your head back out to grab a bra and socks.

You sluggishly got dressed and stepped back out to the bedroom to put your shoes on, laughing again as Harriet and CJ held Harry down to the floor, CJ sitting on his back and arms as Harriet held down his legs.

“Okay okay, don’t kill him, he is a good pillow, and I’d rather not lose the warmth” Harry pouted at you as his sisters snickered and got off him.

“Oh, no ‘oh please don’t kill Harry, I love him’ or ‘please don’t kill Harry, I'd rather not lose him’ no all I get is ‘I’m a good pillow’? really?” you let out a quiet laugh and finished zipping up your boots, leaning down to kiss Harry's cheek and ruffling his hair.

“Yep, and I’ll be back later, bye!” CJ dragged you out of the room, Harriet closing the door behind her as Harry continued to pout.

-

A few hours later, you sat outside an ice cream parlor, spooning (fav ice cream) into your mouth as CJ sipped at her chocolate and mint shake with Oreos. Harriet walked out of the shop with her fresh waffle cone strawberry cheesecake and sat down next to you, licking her lips slightly.

“You’re welcome” you chuckled, smiling teasingly as Harriet glared at you before she stuck a spoon into the ice cream and shoved it in her mouth, CJ continuing to enjoy her shake. “So other than the reason you gave earlier” that being them just wanting to hang out because they hardly got to hang out with you “Why did you want to hang out with me today?”

“We have to pick up my suit and CJ’s dress from the tailor, thought you might want to see ‘em or something” Harriet muttered, keeping her eyes on her ice cream.

You hummed and nodded, you would like to see them, to make sure they worked with what you had planned. “Sounds fun, what time is pick up?”

Harriet pulled out her phone “at two, it's one now so we got about an hour but the place is pretty far away from here, so-“ Harriet turned to you and raised her brow “-you mind driving us there, after we finish?”

You nodded, spooning the last of your ice cream in your mouth and tossing the cup into the trash “Sure”

-

You couldn’t help the grin on your face as CJ stepped out of the dressing room, she admired herself in the tall mirror, spinning around and her scarlet skirt flaring with her. Her black top was detailed with lace and was separated from her high waisted skirt that stopped just above her knees. “Look’s amazing CJ, I think we picked the perfect one for you” you hummed, laughing as CJ bounded over to you and slammed into your side as she sat next to you.

“I think this is the first time she's worn a dress and actually liked it” Harriet huffed, smirking at you and CJ as CJ discovered the pockets on her skirt. The tailor came out from the back, handing Harriet a maroon and black suit and gesturing to the dressing room.

The tailor gave you and CJ a smile and went back to the front to tend to her other customers. You and CJ talked about the wedding plans as Harriet changed, and a few minutes later Harriet emerged from the dressing room. her suit jacket was maroon and her dress shirt and pants were black. CJ wolf-whistled, standing and bounding over to her sister, grinning up at her “Wow Hettie, you look amazing!”

Harriet gave a shy smile and nodded, looking down at her jacket and pulling down the sleeves “Thanks, I think it turned out good” you grinned and that and stood, walking over to the girls and tugging at the lapels of Harriet's jacket.

“It turned out great, it's perfect…thank you, both of you. I know we don’t really interact much but thank you for trusting me with your brother, I know how protective you both are over him” Harriet and CJ smiled, Harriet pulling you in for a side hug as CJ wrapped her arms around your waist.

“Thank you for taking care of him, I never thought he’d find someone like you, but I’m glad he did. I can't wait to call you our sister” CJ nodded in agreement, and squeezed your waist, pulling back and walking to the dressing room to change back into her clothes.

“Let's go get something to eat! Im starving!” You and Harriet shared a look and shook your heads.

“That’s CJ for ya, always hungry” Harriet laughed, sitting down on the couch and waiting for CJ to be done changing so she could do the same.

“yep…Taco Bell sound good?”

“Hell yeah”

-

Harry started as a cold sensation pressed against his cheek and he quickly sat up, looking behind him to see you, smiling down at him and holding a cup filled with Pepsi “I got Taco Bell for you” Harry grinned and took the soda, drawing his legs in from the couch to let you sit down next to him and taking the paper bag from you as you handed it to him.

“Thank yeh love” Harry purred, taking out the cheese rolls and humming, he hadn’t eaten yet that day so he was very happy to finally have something in his belly.

“You’re welcome~” you sang back, taking (food) out of the bag and unwrapping it, biting down on it and turning to pay attention to the tv, where Harry had turned on Captain America; The First Avenger. “Good choice”

Harry just hummed around his food, pulling you into his side and the two of you settled down to watch the movie.

-

“hard ta believe we’re getting married in twenty days” Harry chuckled, helping you put away the washed dishes from dinner. You stopped, looking up at the calendar on the wall and laughing.

May 2nd, wow it really was only twenty days from today. “Well how bout that” you murmured, closing the dishwasher and starting it, walking over to Harry and wrapping your arms around him, setting your chin on his shoulder “Only twenty days till you’re mine forever” Harry laughed and turned in your grip, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and nose.

“Only twenty days till I can finally call yeh Mrs. Hook” Harry purred back, lifting you off your feet and spinning you around, setting you back down and pressing one last kiss to your nose. “I love yeh” Harry whispered, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to yours.

“I love you too” you hummed back, kissing his jaw and slipping out of his arms, going over to the fridge grabbing two ice cream sandwiches, and tossing one to Harry, nodding towards the living room “one more movie?” Harry grinned and nodded, walking in and jumping over the couch, bouncing his leg as he waited for you.

“Oh, by the way,” Harry started, curling his arm around your shoulder as you sat next to him and curling into his side “All the invitations got sent out.” You perked up at that and swallowed down the bite of ice cream.

“Awesome! Did you keep one?“ Harry smirked and nodded, standing from the couch and walking into the kitchen, grabbing a card from the counter and walking back over to you, handing you the card and sitting down as you admired the invitation.

“I still love it, I think we picked a good design” Harry nodded in agreement, leaning over your shoulder slightly to look at the invitation.

The top was printed with watercolor waves at sunset, the bottom blocked with gold with white lettering detailing the date, time, and place of your wedding.

 “only twenty days” Harry hummed, picking up the remote and turning on another movie, curling his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, smiling as you cuddled into him and rested your head in the crook of his neck. “twenty days” you echoed, raising your brow slightly as the movie began to play. “Hook?”

“aye…what it’s a good movie!”

-end of part 24-

Note; I was writing this on the 2nd so that’s why the fic says “twenty days” instead of nineteen

24 parts! Woow!!! And the next part will be on the 22nd! The wedding! After the wedding, this series will officially be finished and the OG part of your world will be over! 😊 thank you all so much for coming with me on this journey and sticking with me through my horrible 2018-2019 writing. Again I will be rewriting Part of your world and Reprise because I want to (and rewriting some parts of Encore because the first 10-15 parts are fucking awful) and I’ll be starting on it after I finish encore, but I probably won't start posting until Rewrite(AU) D3 is finished so im not working on a thousand stories at once.

So Part of your world 2.0 will be coming after Finale - Rewrite is concluded so I can focus solely on POYW 2.0 :3 again thank you all so much for reading and soon, Mr. and Mrs. Hook will soon be introduced~!!!

 permtaglist

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​

@musicarose​ @verboetoperee​

@random-thoughts-003​ @remembered-license​

@rintheemolion​ @thecaptainsgingersnap​ 

@jatp-rules-my-life​  @imtryingthisout​

[wkemeup]

To Be Happy

inbox request: “is there ever a time where y/n sort of gets overwhelmed with how much her life has changed ?? but in a good way ??” by anonymous ❤️ pairing: bucky x reader chapter word count: 1.5k warnings: none ❤️ 🌹series masterlist 🌹

“Wait, wait! You promised to tell us more about Hydra if we all did the reading this week!” one of the criminal justice majors enrolled in your 20th Century Literature course raised his arm desperately, moments before the end of class.

“I suppose I did,” you nodded, laughing as several other students, even the ones appropriately in the correct course for their major, nodded along eagerly. You took off your glasses and set them on the table. The whole classroom sank back into their seats as if watching a movie.

You didn’t give them much, just enough to keep them interested for more and willing to do the assigned readings. If it encouraged participation, you didn’t mind sharing what you’d learned about Hydra over the years. The kids were fascinated and it earned you a reputation around campus enough to have your classes filled within seconds of registration.

Today, you told them about the secret back room in the Lernaean. It had been a long time since you’d even thought about the club Brock had used to launder money for Hydra, but the kids seemed enthralled at the idea of a hidden door behind the bar.

As you dismissed the class for the day, gathering your things and ready to head home after three lectures and five hours of open office hours, you found a student waiting for you by the door. She held her books tight to her chest, nervously smiling at you as you caught her attention.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Daisy,” you chuckled, throwing your bag over your shoulder. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh.” She seemed surprised by your question, as if she were expecting she wouldn’t get that far. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was wondering if I could schedule office hours with you? I was hoping you could help me with a paper I’m writing on—"

“It’s a little early to work on the final, Daisy,” you suggested with a smile, gesturing for her to follow you as you made your way out of the lecture hall, “but I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“Actually, it’s for my women’s studies class,” Daisy blurted out, causing you to pause. You narrowed your eyes on her, waiting for her to continue. She clearly her throat. “Professor Hill asked us to pick a woman in history we admire and write about how they persevered when the whole world was against them.”

“Oh, Daisy,” you started, a little stunned, “I don’t know if I would be an appropriate choice for—”

“My dad was killed by Hydra when I was little,” Daisy explained quietly. “What you did, teaming up with the feds and taking down Hydra from the inside after all they did to you… It’s amazing. I know the CJ guys in this class are all caught up on the Hydra of it all, but I’d really like to be able to learn more about you and what it was like on the inside, why you decided to fight, and how you did it. I already ran it by Professor Hill and she was on board as long as it was okay with you.”

You watched Daisy for a minute, surprised by the confidence growing in her stance as she spoke. This was important to her and there were few people you’d be willing to share those kinds of stories with, but as she glanced up hopefully, you couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s okay with me,” you said, and Daisy nearly jumped off the ground. “You can add your name to the list outside my office for the time you’d like, okay?”

“Yes! Yes, of course! Thank you!” Daisy was already halfway down the hall, waving enthusiastically as she sprinted towards your office. You laughed to yourself as you watched her disappear amongst the crowd of students.

***

“You’ll never guess what happened at work today,” you said as you closed the apartment door behind you, quickly overcome by a wave of cumin and chili powder. 

Taco night. 

Chopped tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, and tortillas lined the table with tiny bowls filled with toppings and spices. At the edge, a chemistry textbook. You paused, narrowing your eyes.

Peter emerged from the bathroom, grinning wide as he spotted you at the front door. “You’re home!”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” you laughed, rushing in to give him a hug.

“Aunt May’s working late tonight and Bucky said ‘tacos’ so I was on the first train over.”

“Obviously.”

“Give me ten minutes and we’re good to go!” Bucky called from the kitchen. He was dressed in an old pair of jeans ripped at the knees and a t-shirt that had gone through the wash a few too many times. It was faded and stretched at the neck, but he was comfortable and grinning wildly as he wafted the steam of the ground beef from the pan.

“I’ll move my stuff!” Peter cheered, lunging for the textbook and tossing it into his bag.

“Are you done studying?” you questioned to which Peter scrunched his nose at you.

“You sound like Aunt May.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“It’s taco night, Y/n!”

“Yeah, Y/n, it’s taco night,” Bucky chimed in, smirking as Peter nodded along.

“If Aunt May calls over here wondering why I let you off the hook on studying for this exam, I’m blaming the two of you,” you conceded, sinking down into the chair and Bucky placed a margarita on front of you.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

***

“Wait, that’s so cool,” Peter said, mouth half full of his four taco. “This girl’s writing an essay on you?”

“I guess so,” you shrugged, trying to play it off but the truth was you were far more excited than you let on. You hadn’t had a chance to tell your side of the story outside of the connections you made with the women down at Hope Haven and despite the fact that the only reader would likely be your good friend Maria Hill, it meant something to you.

“That’s amazing,” Bucky nodded, reaching for your hand under the table and giving it a light squeeze.

“Definitely better than that punk at my school who wouldn’t keep his mouth shut,” Peter grumbled, angrily biting into another taco as the hard shell cracked to pieces on his plate. “At least he learned his lesson.”

“Watch yourself, Peter,” you warned. “You don’t need to be defending my honor to a high school senior, okay?”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot more kids talking about how cool you are anyway,” Peter shrugged casually. “MJ is probably your biggest supporter and most kids at the school are afraid of her so… no more fist fights for me.”

“Well good,” you laughed. “I like MJ.”

“Me, too,” Peter replied dreamily, a little caught up in his head to notice the hearts consuming his eyes. You glanced over at Bucky, laughing quietly amongst yourselves.

It was strange, you realized, this foreign feeling in your stomach. It came up every once in a while in moments like these; where Bucky sat comfortably at the seat to your left, his hand holding yours under the table, Peter sitting across from you going on and on about what colleges he was thinking about applying to.

It was a comfortable feeling, a safe feeling, one you didn’t question whether it would be ripped out from under you or break apart at the seams. Something so simple, so domestic, that most people wouldn’t think twice about, but as you watched Peter and Bucky make their way into the kitchen to clean up, laughing amongst themselves as Bucky swatted Peter on the arm with a dishrag, it didn’t feel so simple. It felt extraordinary.

After all you’d been through, to survive the reign of Hydra, to escape the control of a man who was hellbent on keeping you under his thumb, to come out the other side to a man who loved you beyond what you thought capable, to a classroom full of eager students, to a family you never thought you’d have.

“You alright, honey?” Bucky called from the kitchen, his face softening as he noticed the way you were watching them.

You nodded, brushing away the tears under your eyes and offering him a smile that felt near contagious. “I’m perfect, Buck. Just really happy is all.”

Bucky smiled at that, extending up into his cheeks and wrinkling by his eyes. “Good. Stay that way forever, okay?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, nodding along as Peter came up behind Bucky’s shoulder and muffled out a ‘yeah!’ between bites of shredded cheese. Cheddar scampered along the floor to sniff at the few pieces of cheese that had slipped from between Peter’s fingers, before he turned his head away in favor of the food bowl sitting in the corner of the kitchen.

Surrounded by your boys. Perfectly content. Safe. and Loved. 

[anachronisticcrab]

Valdangelo

I’m in such a valdangelo mood... so I’m gonna rant about them a bit

It’d be so amazing if they were canon cause they parallel each other so well. They’re literally 2 sides of the same coin

Leo and Nico both witnessed their moms die in a way that was related to their godliness (Leo started the fire, Zeus was trying to kill Nico and Bianca)

Neither of them had a steady home or a family for years, and they both lived on the streets

They both lost the most important person to them (their mother and sister respectively), and were forever changed because of their deaths

They both blame themselves for those deaths (Leo started the fire; Nico annoyed Bianca and made her feel badly enough that she stole from a god)

They both put on masks to keep people at a distance; Leo pushes people away by always smiling and cracking jokes while Nico glares and scowls

They’re both terrified to let anyone care about them because they think they’re destructive

Their trauma manifests in seemingly opposite ways, and yet it’s very similar when you think about it

They both had a crush on a friend that saved their life who then went and dated their other friend, and despised themselves for it (Jason and Percy, respectively)

They both feel excluded and left out, like they’re the third wheel, like they’re a crowd

They both use books and shows as coping mechanisms (Leo to crack jokes and avoid, Nico to escape and ignore)

They both feel left out at CHB and CJ because they feel like they’re monsters, and they have different skills than their siblings (Nico over the dead vs Hazel over riches, Leo over fire without any of his siblings having power over that)

They both dislike each other when they first meet because of snap decisions and judgements, but they end up being able to tease each other

They both refuse to talk about their past out of shame and fear

They both love Hazel so much and are always worried about her. They both become really close with Reyna. They were Jason’s best friends. They both get along with Piper. They both have a complicated relationship with Percy and Annabeth

Nico hangs onto the message Leo sent in the Hidden Oracle

Leo describes Nico as having baby bat wings for hair, and he spends an entire paragraph describing Nico in a really unique way

They both forget to watch out for themselves and instead they try to protect their friends from all of their self-destructive behaviours

They both enjoy being alone but for completely different reasons

The ADHD and autistic solidarity the two of them share

They both know Morse code (90% of people in the 30’s, especially guys in Europe, knew Morse code and Esperanza taught Leo)

They’ve both been distrusted by the Romans and the Greeks for things they didn’t mean to do (Leo getting possessed and firing on Camp Jupiter, Nico bringing Percy to the Underworld and accidentally almost getting him killed)

They both have powers over heat (Nico’s been able to summon fire as seen in ttc, and he causes the air around him to become near freezing; Leo controls fire)

They’ve both demonized themselves for powers and they’ve both been shunned for their powers (Nico by the demigods, Leo by his family and Frank)

They’ve both been in the foster system (Nico had the ‘lawyer’, but I’m assuming he was somewhere before he was sent to Maine)

Nico is perpetually cold and how Leo is essentially a space heater

Their internalized homophobia prohibits both of them from being happy, and how they both feel that they need to be in a ‘traditional’ relationship to make them whole and happy

The fact that they’re both socially awkward and don’t know how to act around other people

The fact that they both have an affinity for pirates and dragons (there’s like no way that that’s not true, right?)

Leo being a natural cuddled in his sleep and Nico needing someone to reassure him when he wakes up

Both of them being incredibly smart (in different areas as Leo’s a math/science guy and Nico’s a literature/history/art guy), but neither of them are treated as if they are as smart as they are

They both hate their fathers for shit that they’ve been through because of them (Leo’s socially awkward and his mom died because of his relation to Hephaestus. Nico’s been shunned and abused because of his relationship to Hades)

Leo shows Nico its okay to laugh and be happy, while Nico shows Leo it’s okay to be sad

This is getting really long, but I love them. They compliment each other and help each other grow and they really are great for each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love Solangelo too. Will is a gem. But valdangelo really would’ve been amazing

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[aknosde]

I have a lot of thoughts about Percy’s junior year because Rick is stupid and literally forgot about an entire year of Percy’s life. I also made the executive decision that this is the year Percy backslides (but can you really call it backsliding if he never worked through the trauma?) Without further ado

with a little mist they patch up Percy’s extended absence but decide it’s better if he doesn’t go back to Goode. He doesn’t really care because he didn’t have any friends there besides Rachel, this is where he goes to AHS (literally the only thing I know about TOA, and the rest of it will be ignored)

He’s not going to school with Annabeth because she said senior year together, so she’s still in California, which he’s thankful for so he doesn’t have to feel like he’s disappointing her

Originally he had been reported as missing, but now that he’s back it raises too many questions (this is where they use the mist) so it’s resulted in a really weird transcript that makes it very unclear if he actually finished his sophomore year (he did it online over the summer, and he did pretty well too)

As always he is singled out as ‘the weird kid’. This is because he only wears the longer versions of the uniform (even when it’s really hot out), has a problem with staring, and the grey streak in his hair (ignoring cannon for this one)

He makes approximately two friends (kinda?) and all of the popular kids hate him

There’s this ‘professional administrative counselor and student consultant’ who isn’t an actual counselor and thinks Percy is hella sus. A lot of its because Percy’s transcript and record, but basically he tries to not let ‘bad kids’ into AHS and he wants Percy to leave so the school’s reputation doesn’t get tarnished

Some of the teachers are nice but a lot of them are ableist

Due to that and Percy’s severely under diagnosed PTSD, anxiety, and depression, his grades really fall, but he doesn’t tell anyone

Chemistry is his favorite class and chemistry and history are the only classes he does well in.

This one popular kid who is on the football team or something really likes to physically bully people and in Percy’s attempt not to reveal how strong he is he just subs in for the kids who used to receive a regular beating instead of fighting back

At one point he accidentally catches a punch on reflex (while tons of people are watching, mind you) and freaks out, blah blah blah, that fight ends up with his hand severely broken in multiple locations

BUT he doesn’t like going to the hospital/doctor’s/nurse’s because those are the people who ask a lot of questions about his scars and old injuries and such, so he just walks around for like four hours with a broken hand

(insert my Percy is ambidextrous head cannon here, which comes into play)

eventually his (kinda)friends make him go to the nurse and it’s just straight up not a good time for anyone. Paul has to pick him up. He has to go to the ER. This is when he really starts lying to his parents because he doesn’t want them to know about the fights

He’s kinda all over the place on who he’s talking to, which he feels guilty about, but he just doesn’t have the energy to talk to people who knew him before all this because it’s harder to fake being that happy again (even though he wasn’t that happy even then)

Which brings me to something a bit happier, every Friday he visits Camp Jupiter. No matter what. He started it about a month after the war, it keeps him connected with Hazel and Frank and some other people he was friendly with, but the new thing is Reyna

It takes a bit to get through all of the stuff between them, but they end up becoming really good friends, to the extent that she, Hazel, and Frank become the sole people that he confides in. (Reyna knows that they’re special, but the other two don’t)

There is definitely a big fight he has with Sally in his second semester, and he shows up at Reyna’s quarters, it’s 11 pm, she opens the door wordlessly and he spends the weekend at CJ.

Reyna’s also the person he talks to most about Gabe. He has a lot of built up stuff there and she works through some residual feelings towards her dad too.

He and Nico are in a lot of contact during this year, with varying degrees of tension. They start off really well, but as Percy falls further back it gets a really weird vibe because he still has a whole thing about protecting Nico. Basically Percy’s not good at being vulnerable right now. But they do get better and eventually develop a sibling like relationship.

Talking about sibling like relationships: Hazel! She’s amazing. Due to the Friday visits and her and Percy already being super close she starts calling him her brother really quickly and he picks up on it immediately. She’s probably the person he’s most honest too, and they spar a lot.

His and Annabeth’s relationship is kinda weird too. They both still really love each other, and they talk a lot, she starts working through some of her issues and he’s really good about being there and helping her, but he’s also really good at hiding his own problems around her. (This is a new development, she could read him until he went missing or Tartarus, I haven’t decided) 

He becomes really spotty at communication. Sometimes he won’t text back for a week, and he used to be really good at getting back to people. This is the only thing Annabeth has evidence of. The rest is just a feeling of off-ness so she can’t really see that something’s wrong with him.

Panic attacks and breakdowns become supper common for him. Usually at least one a day, but he’s good about hiding it. However his powers, tied to his emotions, start going haywire and that’s really difficult to hide, especially at school.

He has a really bad panic attack during chemistry one day and his friends find him in the bathroom and try to get the nurse and get him to go home. It wasn't very pretty. 

He looses so much sleep that it rivals Annabeth ‘I stay up ‘till 3 for fun’ Chase

Also becomes a low-key vigilante? Not really, but he does stop several robberies and muggings and its just the right number to look a little suspicious but also not. 

during this whole ordeal he’s spending a lot of time at the school’s pool. At first there isn’t much swimming because he’s still afraid of drowning/suffocation, but Reyna’s just like “Well if you became a better swimmer that wouldn’t be as big of a problem” and he rolls with it. 

Part of his whole healing thing is learning more about competitive swimming and talking with the swim coach. And of course he gets really good at it. Sometime during his second semester he does end up joining the team.

It’s past competition season but the coach thinks he needs it so he just,,, joins

He actually gets along with most of the team REALLY well, and around this time he works on strengthening his relationship with his (kinda)friends, not his actual friends.

Honestly I’ve been considering turning these into a fic, so maybe when I finish Peanut m&m’s there will be another multi chapter in my future.

[extraordinarilyextreme]

Crown Prince Li Kaiqing, Chen Ji, and Fushui

MAJOR spoilers for 《骊歌行》 Court Lady (2021)!!! This is just me blabbing about my feelings.

so we all knew that Crown Prince (CP) and Chen Ji (CJ) were gonna be BE cuz they have historical prototypes. after Chengxin was executed, Li Chengqian grieved for a long time, refusing to attend court and also building a shrine for him in the palaces.

well, even with that knowledge, i still cried like a little baby at the end of the drama. there’s not a single un-sad 感情线 in this entire show, but i really do think that the mess of these three is tragic.

before we dive into the mess that i’ve become, a huge round of applause to Li Zefeng for his amazing portrayal of the Crown Prince—the good-intentioned, sort of foolish boy that we first meet and then later the wide-eyed, paranoid, remorseless man. and of course similar props to Wang Yizhe’s two roles of sweet Chen Ji and scheming Fushui (and Sun Langlang for voicing them! Wang Zhi’s VA!).

so as i’ve already said, CP is really a whole different person after CJ dies. and the contrast between CJ and Fushui (FS) is very plainly evident: CJ dressed in pale white-blue, FS mostly in grey-black; CJ kept his hair loose, FS wears a bun (or hat, when he rises thru the ranks); CJ is a lowly palace entertainer, FS is well-trained in combat and medicine (and ends up as Senior Imperial Physician, somehow); CJ was terrible at weiqi, FS is good at weiqi but pretends to be bad at it. CJ was targeted and subjected to rumors, but no one dared question CP’s relationship with FS—because CP was in so much grief after CJ died, how could anyone bear to do that to CP again? even though FS was absolutely the one that everyone should have removed from CP’s side immediately…

when CP and CJ first meet in episode 7, CP is kind of a typical princely character: he’s kinda entitled, the world is his, his future is bright… and i firmly believe he 一见钟情 because while CJ still treated him with courtesy and respect, it’s obvious that CJ didn’t expect or want anything from him. and this continues in episode 9, when CP is trying to clear his thoughts by the riverside and runs into CJ who is fishing: CP brattishly orders CJ to stay and keep him company, and CJ is honestly more confused than anything as to why the freaking Crown Prince of the country wants to spend the whole goddamn day here. of course, it’s because CJ represents a freedom for CP: here, the Emperor won’t compare him to Prince Zhou or Prince Han; here, the Empress won’t admonish him over and over again; here, there’s no scheming advisors who try to curry favor with him. here, as CP tells CJ to use, it’s just “you and I” without care for rank or formalities.

(but also the death flag in episode 9 was atrociously obvious LOL with CP promising “I will make you a grave” to CJ’s absolute terror. on-the-nose. still made me sad later on, so that’s that i guess. in any case, the episode ends with a 定情信物 whereupon CP gives a jade from his belt to CJ.)

CP watches CJ perform (as he is an entertainer from Prince Han’s mansion) for the first time in episode 10, and we see it again in episode 12, episode 16, and episode 17. based off 《三国演义》Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the lyrics are as follows:

大丈夫只患功名不立 A great man should only worry about not gaining fame and honor/

何患无妻 Why worry over not having a wife/

舍生忘死报恩住 Leaving behind life and death to repay my Lord/

忠肝义胆待友朋 Treat my friends with righteous loyalty/

我要做有血性的英雄 I want to be a hot-blooded hero/

为义而生 To live for righteousness (loyalty)/

为义而死 To die for righteousness (loyalty)

CJ plays the main role of Zhao Zilong (Zhao Yun), and he helpfully compares the story to a game of weiqi in episode 16.

“A gambit [sacrificing insignificant pieces to protect the significant ones] is what Zhao Zilong did in the Battle of Changban. In order for Zhao Zilong to save A Dou, he couldn’t save Madam Gan. So, Madam Gan committed suicide. Isn’t Madam Gan a gambit?”

to which CP responds: “Thank goodness you are Zhao Zilong, and not Madam Gan.”

CJ: “The Crown Prince regards me as his soulmate [知己]. Even if in the future, the Crown Prince were to sacrifice me as a gambit, I would be willing.”

CP: “What are you saying? You and I are friends. No matter what happens in the future, I will never treat you as a sacrificial gambit.”

(so, like, death flags everywhere! 知己-mention! and, c’mon, i think for CP’s consort to be jealous/insecure is a little bit justified considering the amount of times CP has CJ perform this piece with a line like “Why worry over not having a wife”.)

backing up for just a moment before everything goes to shit, other notable events are CP finding out his wife is pregnant in episode 13 (but he spends the day fishing and then cooking the fish with CJ at the riverside, and they walk off with arms draped around each other’s shoulders), CJ hurting his leg after climbing a cliffside to pick red flowers after CP mentioned his wife loves the color red most in episode 14, and finally CP leading a blindfolded CJ to a new house just for him to tick off another romance-y trope in episode 15.

CP: “Didn’t you say you didn’t have a home? So I bought you this little estate. When you fall in love someday, have children, and have a great career, this will be your home.”

(the point is they’re both still kind of in a honeymoon phase right now, tho it ends quickly in episode 16 when our FL Fu Rou warns CJ against being so close to CP—but CP is a little bit too idealistic right now, a little bit too stuck in his blissful fantasy, a little bit foolish. foolish, and incompetent, and unable to protect the people he loves bc he unwittingly endangered them to begin with.)

of course, things come to a head in episode 17 when CP’s wife tells her sister about CJ, leading to the Emperor eventually finding out. but while that’s happening, CP goes to see CJ at the estate he bought for him.

CP: In the future, I won’t come here anymore. Therefore, let’s put aside differences for today and be friends like we used to. We will never have those kinds of days again.

CJ confesses he’s going to leave Chang’an: I want to learn swordsmanship well, and become a wandering hero, feeling at home wherever I am. When the Crown Prince becomes Emperor in the future, I can help you take care of bad guys along my journey out there. This will be my way of helping the Crown Prince to keep the empire stable.

CP gives his dagger to CJ: This is not a reward, but a gift for my friend who is about to leave. In the future, whenever you look at it, it will be like looking at me.

CJ: A gift from my soulmate. Chen Ji will definitely take good care of it.

(for ppl who’ve watched Qing Ya Ji, the parallel to Zhongxing and Fangyue here killed me. but there’s also a parallel within the show itself near the end when Fu Rou gives the Emperor a collection of scrolls and explains that the late Empress hoped that he would treat her writings like he were seeing her—one of Court Lady’s many confirmations that CP and CJ should be read as a romantically by paralleling it to visible, het relationships. ALSO, CP has CJ perform Zhao Zilong again right after this conversation, like a last nail in the coffin.)

so the Emperor finds out in episode 18 and angrily orders CP to kill CJ himself, lest he be stripped of rank. Fu Rou warns CJ, but he refuses to escape.

If I run away, the Crown Prince will not be able to fulfill the Emperor’s order—what would happen to the Crown Prince? […] Life and death are not the most important things; the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

and so CJ unsheathes the dagger CP gave him.

The Crown Prince regards Chen Ji as his soulmate, Chen Ji also regards the Crown Prince as his soulmate. ‘A man of service dies for the one who knows him.’ (An upright man can die for his soulmate.)

CJ quotes “士为知己者死” from Sima Qian’s 《史記·刺客列傳》Records of the Grand Historian, tho if you’ve watched Winter Begonia, it should probably also look familiar.

CP pushes aside the soldiers who’ve accompanied him on the journey to CJ’s home, but it’s too late: CJ took his own life, using the weapon CP gave him, in order to protect CP.

the chorus of Lu Hu’s 《万里》 Ten Thousand Li plays as CP staggers toward CJ’s lifeless body.

呼吸，想着你, When I breathe, I think of you

在梦里，在心里, In my dreams, in my heart

怪完相遇，怪自己, After I’ve finished blaming that we encountered each other, I blame myself

别离，痛彻心扉！Farewell, my heart is broken

(this is a song from the OST we hear multiple times with the other couples in the drama—and we also see many couples by the same river that CP and CJ would fish together by. i think, like, all the couples associated with this song except our main one have a BE…)

in CP’s immense grief, he has the weiqi pieces from his last game with CJ glued to the board, never to be moved again, and he has the flowerbed outside flattened. we get our callback to episode 9: “Chen Ji has no family. I promised him that if he died, I would make him a grave.”

CP doesn’t meet FS until episode 37, but what the Emperor says in episode 19 about Chen Ji is what really makes the whole thing a tragedy.

You must be cautious when choosing friends. He would only have misguided you.

and that’s the thing, the Emperor isn’t wrong!!! it ultimately truly is the Crown Prince’s love for Chen Ji that destroys him. his love for Chen Ji ruins him, ruins the imperial family and threatens the dynasty as a whole. because when Fushui shows up, a man who shares Chen Ji’s face, the Crown Prince trusts him unconditionally—it’s the Crown Prince’s desperation to see any small part of Chen Ji again that leaves him vulnerable to FS’s manipulation: CP forgets who he truly is. because how could a man who looks like Chen Ji ever betray him?

CP is thrown from his horse in episode 37, striking his head upon a rock.

he wonders: Chen Ji, have I also died? Did you come here just to pick me up?

(but of course it’s FS, who was actually going to kill him but the soldiers arrived too quickly.) they meet officially in episode 38.

CP: I thought I was going to die. Dimly, I felt someone approach me—he wanted to save me. I originally thought it was Chen Ji who couldn’t bear for me to die, so his spirit appeared. I didn’t expect that it was you.

FS remarks that CP has brought up “Chen Ji” several times already; immediately, he understands that this is a weakness to exploit.

CP basically throws a temper tantrum in episode 39 when he discovers he will have a permanent limp from now on. (idk if it was an intentional parallel, but CJ also had a limp after falling from the cliffside in episode 14.) FS is the only person that CP allows to approach him, and FS gets him to eat grilled fish (which is apparently CP’s favorite food—how much of the people we love do we carry with us?)

FS acts innocent: I really am bad at lying; as soon as I lie, you see right through me.

it’s everything CP wants to hear.

CP tells him: When I fell off my horse, and was on my last breath, you came to my side and encouraged me to continue living. I’m now crippled and in despair, but you talked sense into me to eat grilled fish. Everything that has happened—if it were Chen Ji, he would also have talked sense into me, encouraged me. Sometimes, I feel that you are Chen Ji, just with a different face.

(obviously it’s the same face for us tho cuz he’s played by the same guy. but anyway, when FS comes clean about everything in episode 51, he mimics the words CP says here.

I am not Chen Ji. I, Yang Fushui, came to your side to find an opportunity to take revenge.)

back to episode 39, FS says he doesn’t want to be “another Chen Ji” because he doesn’t want to die so young—he’s afraid of death.

CP: I guarantee you that I won’t let anyone harm you. What happened to Chen Ji will never happen to you.

(and it’s true! FS gets away with so much goddamn shit because CP’s wife doesn’t dare criticize FS, and even the Emperor doesn’t after knowing what it’s like to see his son in such heavy grief. CP’s wife thinks this is her chance at making amends; she felt real remorse after CJ died, and honestly that line from It’s Quiet Uptown sums it up best: “If I could trade his life for mine/He'd be standing here right now/And you would smile and that would be enough.” a shame, of course, that CP was FS’s freaking main target. nobody wants to repeat the tragedy of Chen Ji, so no one questions Fushui.)

but, like, FS isn’t truly even that subtle—it’s just that CP is so blinded by his love for CJ. from episode 46:

CP: I have taught you for so long, but you’re still terrible at playing.

FS: I am doing it on purpose. Only if I play poorly, will the Crown Prince be willing to continue teaching me.”

CP: Even you put on an act before me? […] You are the person I trust the most. Don’t lie to me.

(太子，你醒醒吧!)

so FS successfully sows discord between CP and his brother Prince Han; the Empress passes away (always sickly, but her illness was very much exacerbated upon seeing her beloved sons turn on each other); CP’s wife kills her own sister in what she believes is a beneficial political move for CP; Prince Han’s wife is wrongfully executed; Sheng Chujun is killed and silenced too after he discovers FS’s plans. CP stages a coup against Prince Han. (the man who looks like Chen Ji must only want the best for him, right?) FS gets away with everything and goes to visit CP in prison in episode 51.

AND HERE! HERE! FS is supposed to kill CP; that’s been his goal from the very beginning. CP hasn’t eaten for days in the prison, but FS shows up with a grilled fish and CP eats without a second thought that it could be poisoned.

but. FS has been at CP’s side for so long now. he’s orchestrated CP to lose everything. there is nothing left that CP could give to him but the mere fact that he’s still breathing.

in episode 49, FS poisons Lian Yan’er and Yan Zifang is obviously upset on behalf of blissfully ignorant, head-over-heels Ma Haihu.

FS: I will kill whoever gets in my way.

YZF: What about someone you love? If it was someone you loved, you would be just as ruthless, right?

FS: It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Where does love come into play? This question—you’ve asked the wrong person.

(but FS’s expression changes. someone he loves? he’s startled, he looks afraid.)

FS ruined CP’s life; and at the same time, gave CP reason to live again. CP started playing weiqi again, his relationship with his wife improved; he started smiling again. there was a passionate fire to him that he never had before (this was his second chance to do everything right, to protect the people he loves!)... the kindling, unfortunately, was his trust in Prince Han and his parents. from episode 39, FS comes in and sits down next to CP after CP trashes his room during his tantrum.

CP: Do you know why I treat you differently from other people?

FS: Because I remind Your Highness of your friend who already passed away—Chen Ji?

CP never stopped loving CJ; he loved Fushui, because he never stopped treating him as Chen Ji. after the failed coup against Prince Han, CP smiles in prison in episode 51 when FS visits him.

CP: It was fate who made us each other's soulmate [知己]. [...] If you can continue living well, I wish that you live your life to the fullest, with both smiles and tears.

how can Fushui bear to take the Crown Prince’s life when he’s received nothing but unwavering trust from him? when he explains who he truly is, when he calls CP foolish for trusting the wrong person, FS is on the brink of tears. his mouth trembles, his breaths shake. when the poison begins to take effect, and CP agonizingly reaches for him, FS takes his hand—just as CP gripped CJ’s lifeless hand so long ago, just as CP reached out to the person he thought was CJ when he fell from his horse. FS takes his hand, sobs, and gives him the antidote.

(Consort Yan’s eunuch is, of course, outraged.

Yu He: If you can’t bear to kill him, then I will!

Fushui: I forbid you. [...] He has nothing left to lose. I forbid you from killing him.)

so, we have the Crown Prince, ruined by his love for Chen Ji—and Fushui, who both took and freely gave the Crown Prince’s life back to him. it’s a love story; it has always been a love story.

and finally, FS gets Ma Haihu killed in episode 53. he picks up the comb MHH carved for Lian Yan’er (a 定情信物!), and when he speaks, ends up telling the story of CP and CJ as well.

There was a woman who sacrificed her life for your bright future. You only needed to enjoy it, yet you took the road of self-destruction.

and then he remembers what CP said to him in the prison in episode 51.

CP: If, in this world, fate truly exists, then so do the hearts of men.

FS remarks now: If you have a heart, you will be easily hurt, or even lose your life.

heartless Fushui, who kills without batting an eye, who nearly upturned the entire Tang dynasty, who doesn’t know of love. in the end, he couldn’t bear to end the Crown Prince’s life.

so, yeah. these three broke my heart. i really wonder what Chen Ji would say to the Crown Prince when they see each other again at last in the afterlife. what the Crown Prince would say to Chen Ji. how violent love can be. what it means to live in someone’s memory. or maybe they would return to the river and spend a long day fishing together again.

[madamewriterofwrongs]

Hi CJ you're lovely. Today's been kind of a shit day. So I'm gonna prompt you if that's okay? Would you write some Eddie or Buck has a bad day and Chris + the one who didn't have a bad day is all about giving the comfort and the hugs and just being there? (rydergrace)

I’m sorry this took so long, and I’m so sorry you had a shitty day. I’m honored you would come to me and I sincerely hope this helps <3

For @rydergrace

He wished there was a reasonable explanation for why he felt the way he did. The sun was shining, he had a wonderful family, he loved his job, but try as he might: Eddie couldn’t muster the energy required to smile for more than a few minutes at a time.

Perhaps it had been the phone call from his parents last week wondering how Christopher was since they never saw him anymore. Perhaps it was getting the second notice from the bank that his credit card payments were late. Perhaps it was getting a knot in the line as he prepared to repel to the fifteenth story to save a victim (easily repaired, but he should have caught it sooner). Perhaps it was none of those things or some unholy combination that had him leaning against the steering wheel of his truck – an impulsive purchase that became a constant reminder of yet another one of his failings – unable to walk inside his own house.

Inside, there was his husband and his son who were both home from school and eager to hear all about his day. They would have dinner on the table and Christopher would ramble on about all the things he’d learned, while Buck would hide his smile when he had a related story to tell so as to not interrupt the boy.

Inside, the lights would be on, filling the world with a warm, orange glow that might have the power to chase the darkness from his mind. But what if it couldn’t? What if he couldn’t leave these feelings at the door until he could better deal with them in the safety of his bedroom? He never hid his feelings from either of them, never lied when things got hard, but he hated being a burden. He hated that he had so many emotions to sort through at the end of the day. He hated feeling that he would ruin the light by simple existing with the people he loved.

So, he held out on going inside for as long as possible. Let the sadness drift away quietly until it was something more easily contained and then he could face his family.

He spent so much time with his forehead pressed against the steering wheel, trying to push away the darkness, that he didn’t hear the front door open. Nor did he hear it close. He missed when it opened again and two figures approached the back of the truck and gently placed a few items in the bed. He only looked up when he heard a gentle rapping at his window.

Shame and adoration made him nauseous at seeing Buck and Christopher waving from outside. With every fibre of his being, Eddie loved those two, and that trumped anything he was feeling. He opened the door without a second thought, his smile barely reaching his cheeks let alone his eyes.

“Hey guys. What are you doing out here?” His voice crackled as though he hadn’t spoke in hours (and, upon reflection, he hadn’t) and it served as a reminder that two of the happiest people he knew were saddled with him for life.

In lieu of a direct answer, Buck outstretched his hand in offering and tilted his head towards the back of the truck. “Come on.”

Eddie took Buck’s hand in his and rose from his seat. It was a promise they’d made years ago, in front of their friends and family, through smiling tears. I will go wherever you lead.

Christopher smiled up at him and a small sliver of darkness evaporated. He’d always known that his son was his own personal miracle, but the wonders he was able to perform never ceased to amaze him. The firefighter placed a hand on the back of his son’s neck and absorbed the warmth and love against his skin. With one hand on his husband and one on his son, Eddie allowed himself to be lead away from his hiding spot (more shame swirled in his chest at his own admission).

In his dreams, the sadness evaporated when he reached the truck bed. In reality, his smile was lopsided as he held the tears at bay with sheer force of will.

“We made a picnic.” Christopher declared, already tossing his crutches against the side so he could pull himself up. He was growing stronger every day. The boy was stubborn like his father and hopeful like his Buck. He was resourceful and kind and imaginative and his whole damn world.

And he’d made a picnic for his dad.

Beside him, Buck squeezed his hand, drawing his eye away from his son and into the eyes of the man who was his moon; a gravity he couldn’t explain, brightening his night, forever a part of his life no matter how hard he’d tried to deny it.

He loved the moon.

Part of him expected Buck to question him: why hadn’t he come inside? What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he be happy?

“I love you.” The man whispered, and Eddie held tighter to keep from releasing his emotions in one fell swoop. Instead, he tugged Buck’s hand and the two of them climbed into the truck beside their son.

They had laid a blanket from behind the couch against the floor (though it did nothing to protect them from the uneven surface and cold steal), and placed one pillow for each head at the edge of the blanket. In the corner was a pizza box and three bottles of water and on any other night, Eddie might have scolded his boys for ordering out when they would all be home at a descent hour but tonight, he was simply grateful not to do the dishes. Thankfull, Eddie spotted Buck’s laptop before he nearly sat on it – it would have meant another purchase he couldn’t afford, and the darkness crept in just a little more.

Then Christopher climbed into his lap as he sat against the truck, and his vision narrowed to the four corners surrounding him. Buck pulled open his laptop, scooting in beside his family, opening their shared Netflix account. While his husband searched, Eddie found himself mesmerized by his son’s hair. With every day – despite the Texas and then California sun – it grew darker, but he was forever the golden child. His curls were as soft as the day he’d first run his fingers through them, and they still smelled liked home. The scent itself had changed over the years; first, it was the ‘new baby’ smell that everyone talked about, then honey and baby powder, then some grassy concoction his parents had used for gentle skin, then he smelled like Eddie because it was easier to buy one giant bottle of shampoo. Now, he smelled like homemade crafts and burnt toast and skinned knees and the springtime laughter whenever Buck pushed him on the swings.

A little of the darkness subsided.

He was pulled from his contemplation by the sound of the company’s logo flashing red as he realized the movie was starting.

“What did you pick?” He reached the hand not combing his son’s hair and grabbed the pizza box to place between them.

Instantly, Buck picked up his first slice. “Something good, don’t worry. We’ve seen it a million times.”

Well, that could be any number of movies. Both he and Buck had what they liked to call ‘comfort movies’ that they could recite by heart but still watched on a recursive loop whenever the mood struck. They were perfect for a night like this.

Soon enough, his mind wandered away again, this time drifting no where in particular. Instead of a long list of his failings, there was the ominous understanding in his chest that something was wrong – that he was missing something. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was but it clawed at the walls of his ribcage until he struggled to breathe.

He could feel Buck kiss the underside of his ear, a secret place he only touched when they were quietly in love. Eddie turned and saw the concern hiding inside the affection but still, his husband didn’t ask any questions. In truth, he didn’t want him to. He knew Buck had every right to ask but he had no answers. But Buck never asked so he never had to wander into the darkness. It crept up behind him instead.

They ate pizza that grew cool in the California night air. They ate long after it grew cold. They watched a movie they loved well and when that movie ended, they watched another one. When Christopher began to shiver, Buck produced a spare blanket and wrapped the trio inside it. When the pizza was gone, the urge to remain upright grew less. By the end of the second movie, all three were laying on the bed of the truck, pillows under heads, laptop propped on Eddie’s belly since he was in the middle.

He knew the instant Christopher nodded off, feeling the weight on his shoulder suddenly double as the boy curled into his side. Even if his arm weren’t trapped beneath the sleeping body, he wouldn’t have moved for anything. Buck seemed to notice as well, because he decreased the volume just enough that they could still hear it in the silence between them.

As the third movie began, Eddie let his head fall to the side, eyes more focused on the man beside him than anything on the screen. He loved this man; it had never been something he expected to happen but it was as true today as it was the day he looked at his best friend and realized he wanted to spend his life with him. And for some inexplicable reason, Buck loved him just as fiercely (of that, he had no doubt).

Nothing his mind could conjure would ever erase the love he held for the two people in his arms.

Perhaps he should have been embarrassed to be caught staring at his husband but the only thing that passed his lips was a whispered “thank you” as he craned his neck to kiss him without disturbing the boy who’d captured his right arm completely.

They didn’t sleep in the truck – despite Buck’s quiet protests that it would be fine. Instead, Eddie carried his son inside while his husband packed up their meager picnic. As he placed one final kiss on Christopher’s forehead, tucking him under the covers, he sent a silent thank you to whoever had granted him such a precious gift.

By the time he reached the bedroom, Buck was in their bathroom, so he changed into his pajamas and went about shutting the house for the night. Buck met him in the doorway, arm reaching for him the way it had outside the truck.

I will go wherever you lead.

Falling into Buck’s embrace was the easiest thing he’d ever done. Being surrounded by him was a safe haven he never knew existed and he treasured with his entire being. Buck was solid and warm (some nights he had to physical remove his husband from his side because he thought he might boil to death in his arms). The steady beating of his heart could be heard when he tucked into his neck and just breathed. It was all he could bring himself to do but it didn’t matter. Being held by Buck was so easy because he trusted him to never let go.

For a decade, Eddie stayed within the safety of his husband’s arms and with each passing moment, he felt the world loosen its grip on his shoulders. The darkness still lingered. It would never truly abate but Eddie was never left to face it alone. Even when he was a stubborn ass about expressing his emotions (as Lena had told him with a punch to the shoulder), he had ways of fending off the darkness.

He had the smell of honey and baby powder, he had the steady beating of his husband’s heart, and he had pizza in the back of the truck with the two people who meant the most to him.

Everything would be okay.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a nice day. I'm all wrapped up in my hammock and I'm feeling pretty good. My cough has subsided a lot. But it still gets me sometimes and surprises me. But I'm alright. 

I didn't get enough sleep. I woke up a few times and that was annoying. But it was fine. I woke up at 7 and hit snooze. But I got up and got myself ready. I actually was wearing a different outfit st first but I did not feel comfortable. So I changed. But it was weirdly warm. And the smoke from the west made everything kind of uncomfortable and hazy. 

I had great groups today though. Everyone was sweet. I had the very little guys and they were so cute. One of them got really upset when we got storm warnings and was almost in tears. So I asked if he needed a hug and after the hug I went and got him the rainbow work plush mom got me and I told him the worm would protect him because rainbows always come after storms. It seemed to help. I'll get my worm back tomorrow. 

CJ came and hung out and she painted. Then Lindsay was here too. She carved some soap stone. I didn't know we had that on camp. I want to do soap stone. Maybe tomorrow me and Charlie can go look for some. 

It was just a lovely day. Even when the storm was dry to come. I went and took down everyone's hammocks so they wouldn't get wet. But it didn't rain on this side of camp. I told everyone it was because I took the hammocks down. It would have stormed so bad if I left them up. That's just how things work. 

My last group canceled. So I went and baked the clay i had. Stopped at the office and Chris gave me fabric and a hand held sewing machine! I've always wanted to try one. It has some corrosion but I think it's fixable. Like when the furbies had exploded batteries. Just need a little white vinegar. 

I came back to arts and Vivik was there and I taught him to fix a hole in his shirt and then how to use the machine. We discussed how patterns work. It was fun! I like teaching people to sew. And how to sue a machine. It was fun. Charlie came and he worked on a wax carving. And it was just a lot of fun. And a little silly. 

Dinner was good. And then James was here!! Hello my James!! 

I left them to do their tubes stuff. And eventually once that was done they would join me in the arts building. We talked and hugged a lot. And then we went back to the car to get the clay and stuff they brought me. 

And soon my James left. Had to get dinner. But that's all good. It was just so nice to have them here for a little while. 

I went to take a shower. But someone was in there so I went to homestead and pet the sheep and bunnies. And then went and talked to some friends while I waited for the shower to open up. 

I washed my hair and felt a lot better. I came back here and put stuff away. Realized my water bottle wasn't here and had to go all the way to the dining hall to find it. And was excited to also get an ice cream bar. Amazing. Thank you Katie. 

And now I'm in my hammock. I'm tired. I am going to try to wake up a little early tomorrow to  set up theme and my project and stuff. I also have my interview tomorrow. I'm nervous!! But it will be good. 

I hope you all have an excellent day tomorrow. I hope the weather is perfect and you feel awesome. Goodnight my friends. Sleep good!!