#and coming to terms with coming to terms with your family about being queer may never be an option

[stylishanachronism]

*grump grump*

It’s a novel about discovering you’re queer in your twenties what the fuck are y’all talking about.

[illnessfaker]

tw: black+trans death

from the_yvesdropper on instagram:

our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.

he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.

Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.

one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :

"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"

(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)

Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.

there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother

there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)

judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:

I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...

[fryingpan1234567]

aaaaaanyways. pride month at Camp Half Blood?

if you remember that one post from a while ago (general hc’s about chb), I did say I would do a fully pride post eventually

so without further ado, I present to all my lovely gay demigods:

PRIDE MONTH AT CHB🗣️🗣️

SO we’ve already discussed the decorations of some of the cabins, like Percy putting rainbow hippocampi scales all over the walls, the Demeter and Persephone cabins growing colorful flowers all over their roofs, the Hecate cabin and its Sentient Gay Door

I like to think the Iris cabin is just fully blasting rainbows all the time it looks like a Minecraft beacon

they play capture the flag every June with a pride flag that has the CHB logo on it

limited edition CHB pride merch😭

Mr. D defending trans campers by driving bigots slightly insane long enough to slap themselves and then go back to normal

Y’ALL KNOW ABOUT THE PRONOUN CORRECTION AIR HORNS? THAT’S THE ENTIRE APOLLO CABIN + LEO AND PERCY

Some ignorant prick about a transmasc camper: “Oh yeah she—“

Percy: *AIR HORN* “IT’S HE, BITCH”

Ignorant prick: “Okay Jesus I’m sorry”

A different ignorant prick: *makes some dumb joke about “always being able to tell” and receives at least seven different air horns from all the Apollo campers in the vicinity*

Leo’s been following this one really irritating chick around all day because she can’t figure out one of his sibling’s genders and blasting her in the face every time she fucks up their pronouns😭😭😭

anyways yeah I like to imagine there’s a demigod pride festival somewhere, maybe in New York

or no there’s demigods everywhere I bet they have parade floats all the time in lots of cities and the Mist conceals the “fireworks” which are actually just godly light shows

Apollo rocks up to camp in a rainbow crop top and a pink drink from Starbucks just to sing Born This Way in the middle of the day and then dip again

Aphrodite blessing random queer couples with finding perfect date setups “conveniently” in their paths

all the gods physically restraining Hera when she tries to go fuck with Jason while he’s on a date w Leo

Percy and Annabeth in matching shirts that say ✨BEST BI✨ with the Best Buy price tag logo in the middle

Nico got glitterbombed on June 1st the second he stepped out of his cabin by the entire Apollo cabin (and Jason) and is still finding sparkles in his hair a week later

Aphrodite kids are walking dictionaries of all the rainbow terms, somehow, and they also all know which days in June are for which awareness or pride or whatever flag

campers who transitioned over the school year and coming back to camp a different gender and their godly parent re-claims them as their true self

Percy “I can’t believe I used to think I was straight” Jackson educating some of the younger campers on bisexuality and how, no, you don’t always know right away

Annabeth “I had a crush on Thalia and Luke at the same time and it was horrible” Chase always reassuring the nervous kids that there’s nothing wrong with being queer (and that she’ll fight any homophobic family members they may have)

actually they kind of all do that

Some little kid: “Well……. I don’t wanna tell my stepdad, he might kick me out”

Percy, remembering that his dad kept Medusa’s head after it got sent to Olympus: “Give me your address, I have an idea”

Piper will verbally eviscerate anybody she catches being even remotely homophobic. I mean she will swipe phones out of her siblings’ hands to tell off some ignorant grandmother

Jason does NOT get into physical altercations outside of sparring and literal war, but the closest he ever got was after hearing someone call Nico a slur (Percy and Leo had to physically drag him away from the other guy)

William Solace has white cowboy boots. I Will Start Sobbing On The Spot

Percy and Jason wore matching skirts for the pride festival and it was great— these 6-foot-plus brick shithouses of heroes who have single-handedly won wars aggressively waving tiny pride flags at each other and dancing to IT GIRL on the quad

Cecil and Lou Ellen made these magic rainbow smoke bombs, crawled up on the roof of the Hermes cabin, and slingshotted them into the masses Just Because™️

(Will’s hair was blue and pink for weeks)

RAINBOW WAR PAINT FOR CAPTURE THE FLAG.

Clarisse fucking kicked someone into the lake because they made fun of one of her siblings’ dyed hair

Connor thought it would be funny to leave a mini pan flag on top of Mr. D’s Diet Coke stash, mostly as a harmless joke, but the next day he noticed Mr. D had tucked it into his horrible Hawaiian shirt pocket like a handkerchief😭

watching Love, Simon in the amphitheater for movie night and half the campers had to excuse themselves early for sobbing too hard

Malcolm and Annabeth reread Red White and Royal Blue every summer. They say they’re Henry and June, Connor is Alex, and Percy is Nora

(this is confirmed when the two of them start a foot fight in the dining pavilion with a Chipotle burrito)

Leo IMing Jo and Emmie to wish them a happy pride (and tell Georgina and Waystation I said hello)

Piper and Leo getting into a HEATED debate about whether Velma Dinkley is a lesbian or not

”YOU CANNOT LOOK AT HER OVERSIZED-SWEATER-OVER-MY-PROM-DRESS ASS AND TELL ME YOU THINK SHE’S TOTALLY STRAIGHT—“

”WHAT SHE AND SHAGGY HAD WAS REAL, BEAUTY QUEEN! HOT DOG WATER AIN’T GOT NOTHIN ON NORVILLE ROGERS—“

”LEO! HER NAME IS MARCIE! AND THEY ARE EACH OTHER’S W A L L P A P E R S .”

Jason, sitting in the middle of them, now deaf in both ears: Lupa give me strength

GUYS PLEASE SEND ME SPECIFIC SHIPS OR CHARACTERS TO WRITE PRIDE HC’S FOR I WOULD LOVE TO🙏🙏🙏🙏

[mariii1]

🧚🏾‍♀️Messages From Your Queer Ancestors✨

I'm backkkkk, check Patreon for my extended general version of this reading!

AHHHH I'm so excited to launch my Patreon, you guys don't even know about all the ideas I have lined up and I'm sure there's more to come as this month goes on! Anyway these photos are all from pinterest buttt see if you can guess who's a very important figure and whyy 😽

1. So a few of you in this pile are trying to force yourself to forgive qhen you don't actually want to (or need to) and for the rest you're almost bulldozing over your identity and how it's affected you. I have a feeling you hang around people who don't know about your identities and would outright make fun of you or disrespect you in some way because of it. Your ancestors are way more sad than angry; if anything they're sad that these people are around you and they're sad that you don't honor or place importance on those aspects of your identity enough to walk away from them. Some of you might believe you'll never find people who truly accept and understand all these aspects of you so you've completely given up on it. Your environment might now is definitely very homophobic/transphobic or just xenophobic in general. While you might've been born in these environment or have had to stay in it, your queer ancestors want you to believe in yourself and in your queer identities; those aspects matter just as much as other parts of yourself. They want you to focus on creating an exit/escape plan out of this situation and to find the strength and hope in you to believe you will be able to find the right people one day instead of just completely shutting this idea out.

2. Things are going to change for you very, very soon. Some of you may be doubting a partner or a close friend in terms of loyalty or how much they love/respect you, but you'll soon realize these are just fears with no real basis. You will hit the jackpot somehow or you'll realize you have already in some area of your life. If you're financially broke right now, there's an idea or action you take that'll be the jackpot literally in terms of money and its something you didn't expect to happen, or at least to such a large degree. Keep doing what you're doing and the truth will be revealed to you soon.

3. I feel like me and your queer ancestors would've been good buddies and they've been so nice to me since the beginning of this reading. You're blessed spirituality in terms of family even if your immediate family right now is dog shit. You all however are really tired. I'm getting for most of you this isn't necessarily physically but more tired of people trying to fuck you over or fuck with you in general. You might've had to cut a lot of people out and seek justice or revenge in some way; ways that might be very tedious or draining like filing paperwork, legal battles, etc. I'm sincerely sorry if you have experienced some form of assault especially sexual assault please rest assured you will get justice whether through the system or not. You feel really tired pile 3 and this might sound infantilizing but I mean it in the sweetest way, you need a hug. You need someone to be understanding of you and you might wish you had someone physical to rant to. This might not bring you much comfort but your ancestors are watching your struggles and they wish they could coddle and baby you. A few of them see you as a baby and it breaks their heart that their baby is so stressed out 🥹 they are still proud of you and are rooting for you ad wish to send you lots of money so you can focus on self-care. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it pile 3!

4. Some of you feel very stagnant or just stuck in a situation especially financially. You might've realized something was a scam or actually wasn't going to lead to anything more; this could be about staying at a toxic workplace in hopes of getting a promotion or being transferred to a better team. I'm also having a hard time focusing on your reading so you might just be feeling overwhelmed or scattered. You realized a situation would never get better but now you don't know what to do or you've convinced yourself you have no other options left that are any better. However, I'm getting this really isn't true and it might take a drastic change in your mindset in order to see the potential of other possibilities. This could be realizing going back to school or learning a trade might not be so bad or that maybe relying on online income (influencing, youtube, etc.) Could actually be a real plan. These are just examples but your queer ancestors are really begging you to try and think outside of the box and realize "standard" job opportunities might not be as reliable as they seem and that options that seem very flaky, can be very stable if you put in the work.

[frociaggine]

Good morning,

my sister and I as queerish catholicish people* have been fascinated with the the new pope drama.

Anyways we were wondering about context.

When the pope was asking the vatican to "tone down the faggotry" was he

Deliberatly condemning homosexuls in the vatican?

Asking vatican employees to stop gay sex while at work.

Asking vatican employees to stop behaving in a stereotypically gay way at work?

Asking vatican employees to stop being so extra? This is pope Francis after all. He's not really a big luxury guy.....and maybe he finds the drag race aesthetic to be at odds with votes of poverty. (The documentary "Paris is burning" might correct that misunderstanding...but I can see how a general apeal to tone down extragance combined with a new slang phrase in his second language could cause this.

I do understand that whatever the context for the quote was, pope Francis used the wrong term.

But Im really curious what he was trying to accomplish.

Also how do I pronounce your new Url as I relay this information to my family?

*I am a practicing queer raised catholic and she a practicing catholic at a queer independent catholic** church

**yes its existence shocked me to, but they have like 18 members and a local epicable let's them met in thier space in off hours. And they take nor give any money to the vactican and sing the old mass.

Ok your sister's queer independent catholic church sounds honestly cool af. Hope they're having fun in there.

Context: the Pope was telling (Italian) bishops that the Church should discourage gay men from joining, and "there's too much homosexuality (faggotry) in seminaries already." We don't know the context as this was leaked, but if I HAD to make a guess I would say_ 1) This is undoubtedly a homophobic statement 2) this is coming from a guy who feels strongly that clergy should respect their votes of chastity, which a lot of priests straight-up ignore.

So, like. Francis HAS gone on record saying that gay men are likely to falter in their vocations or whatever. But if I had to speculate, and I don't believe I'm being overly charitable here, I think the point of his speech was, "By the way, priests should not fuck, remember that? And maybe men who are into men are more likely to fuck their colleagues and keep quiet about it, we all know it happens way too much."

But yeah tldr: he WAS "deliberately condemning homosexuals" in a "gay people are more likely than straight people to give in to the temptations of the flesh" kinda way. Which IS homophobic but not outrageously so, and I think very much in line with his overall line re: queer people in the Church, kind of when he said "Blessings to same-sex couples are fine! It's not the same thing as a real marriage tho."

I think it was a remark that wouldn't have raised any eyebrows among its intended audience if he hadn't used that word, which gave people who don't like him a lot of ammo to discredit him and motivation to leak the story. That's also why I think there's no way he was aware of the full implications of the word — would this pope say slurs in private? idk. maybe. I don't know him. Would he say slurs in front of an audience of bishops when half the Vatican can't stand him because they think he's a dangerous third-world outsider and a hardass? No fucking way.

At least that's my take. I'm gonna @monstrousgourmandizingcats who may have better insight.

this is how you pronounce it!

[familyabolisher]

do u have any recommendations for where i can learn about this “disintegration of the couple form”? because it sounds fascinating.

i mean it's more a logical corollary to family abolition than anything else—the cluster of behaviours by which we identify the normative couple form (monogamy, then to varying degrees: intent towards marriage, intent towards cohabitation/split incomes/financial interdependence, cisheterosexuality, and so on) are highly contingent properties which are imbued with significance only by the social apparatus which organises and sustains the family. it’s impossible to meaningfully talk about “marriage,” for example, as a practice independent of the social + legal conditions by which it comes into being; it provides crucial legal apparatus for the nuclear family unit and serves as a cudgel for coercion in maintaining it via its various mechanisms of entrapment, and ideologically reifies this notion of a sole lifelong partner with whom you raise a child or children and thus stabilise the distribution of your property and assets/fortify the white race/etc. aspiration towards marriage, even between couples which may not wholly fit the “normative” bill, arises from the significance ascribed to it via its position in the ideology of the family. if the family is gone, it stops being useful. even monogamous couples who are at a distance from the conventional marriage-kids-whatever continuum only have a framework by which they can meaningfully think of themselves as 'monogamous' and behave as such because of the ideological logics thrown behind sex, romance, and relationships in the first place.

that, obviously, doesn’t mean that nobody will ever be in what we currently term a ‘monogamous relationship,’ but that the centrality of the monogamous relationship in the cultural zeitgeist around sex + romance will be done away with. like, it simply stops being a useful or coherent concept at the point of family abolition. this is true of whatever language we use to talk about sexual relations—gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual, butch, femme, to name a few, are all terms which have meaning in our discourse only due to the contingent conditions which give rise to them. when the material conditions change, the language we use to ascribe meaning changes with them.

[genderkoolaid]

A bit of an odd question, I know you've ranted in the past about people thinking nonbinary people aren't attractive w/o binary alignment, anyways the point is: what are your thoughts on terms like "ceterosexual" and "skoliosexual"?

Personally I like them.

The thing about exorsexism is that it's ingrained in our language and culture. We lack the language to describe being non/abinary/genderqueer because our culture enforces a binary. So I generally support any efforts to improve exorsexism in language, even if I personally wouldn't use it.

It's true that "nonbinary" does not refer to one single gender. But I would argue that "woman" and "man" are vaster categories than we give them credit for. There are people who are attracted to certain kinds of man/womanhood performance but not others, especially when it comes to queerness & ethnic cultures. Not every lesbian is necessarily attracted to the same womanhood performance, and the same goes for gay men & straight men & straight women.

And "woman" and "man" are also not synonymous with presentation. You cannot tell how someone identifies by how they present themselves. But we do use gender coding to call on cultural associations & send a message of what gender stuff we wanna be associated with. A gay trans man may dress much differently than a straight trans man, because he is trying to perform gay manhood. Similarly, an agender person may also perform things associated with gay manhood even if they don't identify at all as a man, because they want queer men to notice them. But the same things could also be done by a straight man who just enjoys things traditionally associated with gay manhood And, going off that, there are ways that nonbinary/genderqueer people signal ourselves as NB/GQ as well. Someone with brightly dyed hair, wearing lipstick with a mustache, in a skirt with a dress shirt, is performing a genderfuck-hood that can signal genderqueerness to others. Personally, I like presenting in a purposefully genderqueer way so that other queer people recognize me as "family" and will be attracted to me because of my genderqueer performance.

So, considering all that... I appreciate language that let's us express love and attraction and appreciation for genderqueerness and non/abinarity. Arguments against ceterosexuality/skoliosexuality tends to go back to "nonbinary isn't a third gender, and some nonbinary people are okay being aligned with a gender, so anything that ever centers nonbinary people and recognizes abinarity is transphobic!!!" which always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've seen some people say you can use them but only Ina t4t way, which I also dislike; I am t4t and gq4gq but I don't like the idea that people who are cis aren't "allowed" to express attraction towards abinarity/genderqueerness because they must be chasers.

Also, I have the theory that genderqueer language always faces more stigma and is held to a higher standard than binary language. Partially because it's newer, but also because being genderqueer/nonbinary is viewed by transphobic society as unserious and ridiculous, and has also been associated with people assigned female & "weird femininity," which brings in misogyny (even moreso than transphobia already does). This is not to say people who personally don't want to use genderqueer language are doing anything wrong– but I feel like everytime someone comes up with a term to improve the lack of nonbinary visibility in language, it is immediately lambasted for being "cringe" and "infantilizing" and "just call me a slur" which I feel, on some level, comes from the association of binary things with normality & neutrality & adulthood, and nonbinary things with childishness & queerness.

The end goal of exorsexism is to smother any sign of sex/gender transgression it finds. I feel like the criticisms of nonbinary/genderqueer-focused sexuality are just another expression of this, but done in a "progressive" way. The underlying message is that nonbinary/genderqueer gender isn't as real as binary gender; our validity as people only comes from our identification with binary systems on some level; NB/GQ people always confirm to binary gender performance and we have no ways of communicating our genderqueerness on purpose; attraction to NB/GQ people must be dirty and objectifying and it can only be expressed via the language of binary attraction, even if the object of your affection is hurt by that.

[novacorpsrecruit]

Better Without You

My other braincell @comicsbi-thebook and I came up with a steddie AU the other day that’s rotting my brain but I do not need another WIP

Steddie Rockstar/Country Star (breakup) AU based on Dixon Dallas’ song Better Without You

Steve and Eddie, who get together after the events of season 4. Eddie was hurt (he may been technically dead for a few minutes), but he’s alive and that’s what matters. He starts to heal over the next few months, Steve by his side, helping Wayne take care of Eddie and falling in love along the way. There were a lot of painful nights — memories, nightmares, wounds that reopened, stitches that ripped, lots of tears and fear that the Upside Down may come back. No matter what happened, Steve was by Eddie side, promising that he wasn’t going to leave him.

Maybe two years pass in their relationship and eddie’s got the record deal of a life time, but that means leaving everything behind. His family, his friends, his life. The agent saw Eddie with Steve and told him that he had to leave him if he wanted the deal. The label wouldn’t sign someone who was queer. This is his only chance on getting out of Hawkins, being known for something other than the town freak that’s accused of a string of murders. This is what he needs.

So he does.

He packs up everything and leaves, barely telling Steve goodbye. Steve is left with a broken heart, a shoebox of pictures and trinkets, and Eddie’s damn acoustic guitar.

He thought about breaking the guitar. Thought about smashing it in the parking lot outside their apartment. taking the broken pieces and lighting it on fire. He tried to return it to Wayne, but Wayne refused. “If he left it, it’s yours.”

Steve let the guitar stay haunting the bedroom, Eddie’s painted words taunting him. Reminding him of what he lost. So he grabs a rag and some alcohol and wipes it clean, removing the words. He learns how to play, stringing chords together and humming along. He learns how to play Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson. And eventually, the pain hurts less. He got a local gig — a paid one — at one of the dive bars, and they kept requesting him to come back.

Eventually, someone important hears him. They offer him a record deal. Steve nearly refused, because of Eddie. Eddie was told to get back in that damn closet if he wanted to break into the industry. Steve refuses to do anything except be himself. If the record wanted him, they’d take him as he is. And the record wanted him, so they agreed to his terms. Out and proud. He signs it and paints his own mark on that damn guitar, known as his signature machine. This machine heals broken hearts.

I hope you miss me when you think about me / and everything we could’ve been / and now you’re nothing but another memory / you know it hurt but in the end / I’m doing better without you, and I know you hate it / I used to think you were the one but you ain’t / no more dancing around it, and I hate to say it / but you damn sure ain’t the one I got away

Steve records a few songs, and instantly they were hits. His song, Better Without You, hit the charts and was played for weeks on the Top 40. Hell, he even broke the top 5.

His lyrics were raw, and any time he preformed the song live, the audience went wild.

I loved you at your worst / you left me at your best / I watched you fade away into the sunset / threw my heart into the dirt / you ripped it from my chest / tried to kill me but I ain’t dying yet

Eddie, known by his moniker MUNSON, is a huge breakout in the metal scene. He’s topped all the metal, rock and alt charts. He’s had a single or two hit the top 40 but most of his fans aren’t from the demographic. He’s done one North American tour with Pantera and he’s rumored to headline his own tour soon. But when he heard about the gay country artist making waves across the charts, he had to take a listen out of curiosity. As soon as the first verse hit, he recognized that voice instantly. He remembers the late nights years ago singing along to Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen years ago. He knows the song is about him and it breaks his heart. He hurts because he knows he hurt Steve. He loved Steve, he really did. He still does.

But Eddie’s so proud of what he’s done at an artist.

And he’s terrified to lose that. Terrified to going back to Eddie the Freak. Eddie the Loser. Eddie stuck in the hellhole of Hawkins, Indiana.

So he calls Steve. He finds a way to get in contact with him. Maybe he uses Dustin to help his number, or a way to talk with him.

And maybe Steve’s a little hopeful when they exchange pleasantries and Eddie tells him that he likes the song and he’s proud of Steve for making it and being out.

But then reality comes crashing down. “You wouldn’t …” Eddie starts, trailing off. He’s nervous, worried, afraid. “You wouldn’t out me, would you?”

This wasn’t an apology for breaking Steve’s heart. It’s a plea, begging for Steve not to out Eddie. And Steve can’t help but laugh as he feels his heart break again.

“Who the fuck do you think I am?” Steve laughs, hiding his pain. Hiding the tears that want to slide down his cheeks. “Do you really think I’d do that to anyone? Don’t fucking call me again.”

And maybe the next time he plays Better Without You, he sings some lyrics a little louder, while his heart aches.

I’m glad you came into my life, you really taught me well. / and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. / you showed me the devil ain’t exactly in a place called hell / you were tightly wrapped up in my loving arms.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Tw: vent, identity crisis, rare hrt side effect...

After nearly 4 years of being aroace (bellusromantic aceflex), I think I'm arohet now because of testosterone...

I feel a loss of identity as I become more comfortable in my body... I know more than anything that I'm a man, not even my intrusive thoughts can tell me otherwise. But, it came with something that I never thought would happen...

Being the gayest member of my family has been who I am since 2018, being Loveless since 2020. Now I feel like I'm invading someone else's space whenever I research orientations for fun... (I'm autistic and my special interest is queerness)

I don't know the point in saying all this, maybe just to get it out of me.

If you read this, thank you.

A change in orientation and identity is usually something people need time to process, and that's OK. It's OK to mourn your old identity, and it's OK to take a bit of time to come to terms with your new one.

One thing I would be careful about though is try and avoid that thinking that there's such a thing as more or less queer, you may be queer in a different way now, but you are still queer. And you are still you, and you still carry your old experiences with you, even if they've changed. Remember too that het attraction isn't a bad thing, attraction is neutral, and experiencing het attraction doesn't negate other queer experiences you have now or have had in the past. You're definitely not invading any spaces.

I know you can't just flip a switch and believe all of this, or even if you do believe it logically, it takes time to internalize it. But hopefully seeing it actually said can help.

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, Anon, but hopefully it gets better from here.

All the best!

[eisforeidolon]

In regards to that post [X]:

We could talk about the same old fallacies - OMG, Dean's siren is a guy! Yeah, a brother. OMG, Dean was supposed to say I love you in the Crypt scene! Yeah, it was removed and replaced with what the writer explicitly said was the less OOC version of what he meant anyway, "We're family". We could talk about the blatant absurdity of statements like "Dean liked men it happened on my screen" which bear no resemblance to the SPN that aired. But we've done that before and others have got this reiteration of it well covered.

So I wanna focus for the moment on this particular even more repulsive gem: "Like he literally doesn't need to verbally tell us he's bisexual we just know. He may not know but we do. This is an unmovable fact sorry."

It tells us a few things. One, this person is a fucking idiot. Two, this person, yet again, thinks that ~*interpreting*~ sexuality from the way someone looks/stands/makes eye contact/eats pastry/whatever numbnuts conspiracy bullshit you like? Is more valid than how a character identifies and is identified by those who created him. People can just look at you and know what your sexuality is better than you do, there's nothing repulsive about that idea at all! I've got a mountain of shiny pennies that says if Dean had literally never interacted with a man for the entire span of the series, they would have insisted it was because he was so afraid of how much he wanted to fuck them. There was no way the writers could have written Dean that someone like that would have accepted as actually heterosexual, because that's not what they personally wanted, so that's not what they were going to see.

I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how relatively questionable some of the gay jokes in SPN are, especially in the early years in terms of making queerness a punchline. But if we're going to talk about that? We need to do it not only in the cultural context of 2005 rather than 2023, but in the context of portrayals of real world men - and particularly those in fairly rural settings who aren't going to be particularly conscientious in the way they rib each other. Which becomes a whole other discussion about where to draw lines when you're writing fiction and dealing with things that might be realistic but also potentially offensive.

Furthermore, I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how SPN continually used romantic tropes for platonic relationships and how it's not entirely absurd for that to land different with the audience when the characters are not blood-related. Except that discussion needs to include not just how maybe the writers shouldn't have treated it as such a joke that a relationship between two male characters might have been possible, but also how fans should absolutely not have equated a relationship being theoretically possible with any specific relationship they wanted being owed to them. Especially in the context of those romantic tropes being used so so so much more between brothers all the fucking time setting the tone. As well as how it's not just problematic to treat the possibility of homosexual relationships as a joke, but problematic to insist literally any closeness between two male entities is gay, reinforcing all kinds of nasty toxic stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity which underlay a lot of modern adult men's issues with expressing their emotions and having genuinely close and open relationships outside of their romantic partners. I've seen fans wonder how heterosexual dudes can watch this show and love the brothers' relationship without seemingly noticing the weird undertones of how claustrophobically intertwined they are, and I think it's very much that when it comes to wanting a fantasy of platonic closeness, they're looking for realism as much as most women reading trashy romance novels are - but that's a whole other digression and this is already too long.

At the end of the day, not only was SPN not created in the cultural context of Very Online Tumbrites in 2023, convinced that nothing should ever be is heterosexual and every fictional story should be about them and what they want? The fact their ostensible original point misses is the real world and most other media of 2023 aren't like that either! Some of these shippers come across like they've literally never seen two adult male friends interact with each other or any actual love stories in media - and it's not just early 2000's television characters getting this treatment from entitled shippers who want to use representation as a weapon against creators as to why they're owed things they absolutely aren't.

[nerdygaymormon]

Queer Religious Songs

I was interested to see the news that a song by the drag queen Flamy Grant was top of the iTunes Christian chart. I listened to the song and really like it. 

There are many religious songs I like, but these queer ones speak to a part of me that the others don’t, they ask questions that are important. 

1983 - Church of the Poison Mind : Culture Club - A religious gay man has found love, but because of what he was taught at church, can’t resolve his own feelings about being gay. The message is if you’re living in a culture distorted by prejudice, take a chance on joy–embrace love, whatever form it takes.

1987 - It’s a Sin : Pet Shop Boys - This song is about a person’s lifelong feelings of shame and guilt, presumably for being taught that being gay is a sin. For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who, has one thing in common, too. It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin.

1988 - A Little Respect : Erasure - In this song the gay singer is calling to a lover not to leave and asks the question, what religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover? So often the religions we’re raised in are anti-queer and people have a tough time breaking from the prejudice when they have their first romantic relationship.

1991 - Losing My Religion : R.E.M. - Lead singer Michael Stipe had declined to address his sexuality, so when “Losing My Religion” came out, people assumed Stipe was coming out as gay. Consider this the hint of the century. Consider this the slip. It stands as a classic example of queer coding in the era of “don’t-ask-don’t-tell.” The song was interpreted as the struggle of a closeted gay man coming to terms with what his religion taught about gay people.

1992 - One : U2 - Bono explained that “It’s a father-and-son story. I tried to write about someone I knew who was coming out and was afraid to tell his father. It’s a religious father and son… I have a lot of gay friends, and I’ve seen them screwed up from unloving family situations, which just are completely anti-Christian. If we know anything about God, it’s that God is love.” Knowing it’s a gay son who is talking to his unaccepting dad, the lyrics really hit hard. Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth? And also these words from the chorus, We’re one but we’re not the same. Well we hurt each other then we do it again. It seems eventually the son decides to draw a boundary and remove his father from his life - I can’t keep holding on to what you got, 'cause all you got is hurt. I like that the lyrics say We get to carry each other, carry each other, we are different and may not agree on everything, but we choose to help each other, it’s asking us to find ways to have our relationship work even though we’re different.

1997 - You Have Been Loved : George Michael - George Michael wrote this song about Anselmo Feleppa, who died of an AIDS-related illness in 1993. While an intense song about grief and death, it also involves a spiritual struggle. Anselmo and his mother both say that God is not dead, George counters by challenging What’s the use in pressing palms, if you [God] won’t keep such love from harm? It’s a cruel world. You’ve so much to prove.

1997 - Together Again : Janet Jackson - The album notes say “I dedicate the song ‘Together Again’ to the friends I’ve lost to AIDS.” It’s a sweet song with hopeful words. Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there smilin’ back at me.

2011 - Born This Way : Lady Gaga - Many songs hint at queer identities and acceptance by using metaphors, but not this one, it is direct. No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgender life, I’m on the right track, baby, I was born to survive. The song is a real celebration of who we each are made to be. God makes no mistakes.

2011 - We All Try : Frank Ocean - Frank Ocean sings of losing faith in mankind as the LGBTQIA+ community struggles to find acceptance. I believe that marriage isn’t between a man and woman, but between love and love, and I believe you when you say you’ve lost all faith, but you must believe in something. He reassures the listeners and the LGBTQIA+ community that I just don’t believe we’re wicked, I know that we sin but I do believe we try.

2012 - Same Love : Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert - Macklemore sings against the homophobia taught at church. When I was in church, they taught me something else. If you preach hate at the service, those words aren't anointed and that Holy Water that you soak in is then poisoned. The song concludes with Mary singing I’m not crying on Sundays, which I think means not letting religious intolerance and churches harm us anymore, not subjecting ourselves to those words anymore.

2012 - Origin of Love : MIKA - Mika said this song “talks about my life, it talks about the church, it talks about falling in love and it talks about being happy and proud about falling in love with whoever you fall in love with, even if it’s a man. So in a way, this is my statement and my thank you to the man I love.“ To his partner he sings You are the sun and the light, you are the freedom I fight, God will do nothing to stop it.

Mika contrasts the goodness romance brings to his life with how the Bible introduces heterosexual relationships: Like stupid Adam and Eve, they found their love in a tree. God didn’t think they deserved it. He taught them hate, taught them pride, gave them a leaf, made them hide. Let’s push their stories aside. You know the origin is you.

2013 – Take Me to Church : Hozier - The lyrics are against church-fueled homophobia and persecution of queer people, and instead Hozier finds meaning by worshiping in the bedroom. Many queer people can identify with these lyrics: Every Sunday’s getting more bleak, a fresh poison each week. "We were born sick", you heard them say it. Hozier explained that churches undermine humanity as they teach shame about sexual orientation by saying that it is sinful or that it offends God. Hozier is an outspoken LGBTQ+ ally and the music video depicts two gay men being ripped apart by homophobic violence in Russia. It brought international attention to the anti-gay laws in Russia.

2015 - No Place in Heaven : MIKA - Mika is singing about how religion teaches there’s no place in heaven for gay people because the way we love is sinful. Father, won’t you forgive me for my sins? Father, if there’s a heaven let me in.

2016 - Son of a Preacher Man : Tom Goss - This 1968 song gets a gay update. The video tells the story of two gay teens struggling to understand their feelings for one another while operating within the confines of an evangelical church.

2016 - Trash : Tyler Glenn - In response to the Nov 2015 Policy of Exclusion by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Tyler created this video denouncing the Church’s restrictive view of same-sex relationships. The pain and anger are so raw in this video, it hurts to watch. These lyrics are an indictment, that he’d repent his days away if we wanted him to stay, but we throw him out like trash. If this is God’s church then there should be room for ALL God’s children.

2016 - Shameless : Tyler Glenn - The video has an old man in a black suit & white shirt tied up to a chair as Tyler sings You judge, but I don’t give a damn. I live a life so shameless. He lists things he does shamelessly now that once he would’ve been judged for: porn, one-night stands, alcohol. Tyler has now left the church and is not letting old men in suits make him feel shame.

2016 - G.D.M.M.L. Grls : Tyler Glenn - Despite the best efforts by this gay man to make church work, it didn’t because God Didn’t Make Me Like Girls.

2016 - Heaven : Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who - Troye sings candidly about what it’s like for a religious teenager to come out as gay. Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven? All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh, so if I’m losing a piece of me, maybe I don’t want heaven? Troye explains “When I first started to realise that I might be gay, I had to ask myself all these questions—these really really terrifying questions. Am I ever going to find someone? Am I ever going to be able to have a family? If there is a God, does that God hate? If there is a heaven, am I ever going to make it to heaven?” The video features footage from LGBTQ+ protests throughout history.

2016 - Sudden Death (OMG) : Tyler Glenn - In this song, Tyler expresses the initial shock of his faith crisis. I never asked to fall from grace. Catch me I’m starting to fall! Don’t know what all this is for! Keep comin’ at me with your disrespect. You went and started a war. Now I don’t care any more. I keep on living like it’s sudden death.

2016 - Devil : Tyler Glenn - A song that highlights the conflict between religious belief and queerness. I found myself when I lost my faith and not being able to pray the gay away. The constant in his world, what he’s anchoring himself to, is that his mom still loves him, and that’s important because studies show the acceptance & love of a parent makes a huge difference when someone comes out.  

2016 - Queer Gospel : Erin McKeown - This song was written in response to the ongoing trend of "religious freedom" legislation being passed by some US states. Love us as we are. See us and we're holy. In this shall we shall ever be, wholly ourselves.

2016 - Midnight : Tyler Glenn - The Neon Trees frontman gives an emotional song about his departure from the Mormon church but not from God. The ballad is accompanied by a video that shows Glenn removing his religious garments and replacing them with a glittery jacket, which is such a powerful metaphor.

2017 - The Village : Wrabel - There are lyrics in this song of what religious people have told him, and boy do they hurt. They say, 'Don't dare, don't you even go there, cutting off your long hair. You do as you're told' Tell you, ‘Wake up, go put on your makeup, this is just a phase you're gonna outgrow.’ There’s a line in the song that hits me hard: One line in the Bible isn’t worth a life. The video is beautiful, very poignant, it breaks my heart and gives me hope. 

2017 - Pray : Sam Smith - You won’t see Sam in church, but they say they’re a child of God at heart and they’re begging God to show them a way. I'm not a saint, I'm more of a sinner. I don't wanna lose, but I fear for the winners.

2017 - HIM : Sam Smith - This is a song about a boy in Mississippi coming out and the conflict between his sexuality and his religious upbringing. He is grappling with the feeling that there’s no place in church for him because he’s gay. The “Him” being sung is used both for God and for a boy he likes. Holy Father, we need to talk. I have a secret that I can't keep. I'm not the boy that you thought you wanted. Please don't get angry, have faith in me.

2018 - Explaining Jesus : Jordy Searcy - Jordy grew up playing music with his family and in his church. In 2014, Jordy landed a spot on NBC’s The Voice. In this song, Searcy is apologizing for how poorly we have been “Explaining Jesus” to others. He begins by singing If you're gay and over 85, you've felt for your whole life, that when God made you, he just messed up. The song ends with And I'm so sorry for all the wrongs. We're broken singers with broken songs. We paint our pride and call it truth. I'm sorry no one explained Jesus to you.

2019 - Hey Jesus : Trey Pearson - Trey made headlines in 2016 when, as the lead singer of the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, he came out as gay. Three years later and Trey has a question: Hey Jesus can you hear me now? It’s been awhile since I came out, I was wonderin’ do you love me the same? As a person who struggles to reconcile faith with sexual orientation, I find this song quite moving. 

2020 - God Loves Me Too : Brian Falduto - Brian played the gay kid in the movie School of Rock. Now as an adult, Brian is back and singing a song that no one has to earn God’s love. Brian wrote the song after visiting a church that was welcoming and accepting of queer people. I look around and see I’ve found a place where peace and love abound. I’ve waited my whole life for the truth. It is true, God loves you. It don’t matter if you’re LGBTQ.

2020 - Chasing Rainbows : Big Freedia feat. Kesha - Freedia is a gay Black man who carries a purse and uses “he” and “she” pronouns. Kesha is bi. Together they put out an uplifting song. Freedia lists the various ways she’s been put down throughout her life by schoolyard bullies, religious figures and record labels. Kesha makes clear we won’t be put down any longer when she sings You know me, bein’ free. Won’t be silent, I pray for my enemies. 

2020 - Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America : The 1975 - This song has Matty Healy pondering religious faith and love from his perspective as a queer person and describes hiding his sexual identity because of his religious beliefs. Phoebe Bridgers, who is bisexual, contributes a fragile and vulnerable verse. She sings of her love for the girl next door. Her love is unrequited as she is unable to reveal her true feelings to her neighbor.

2020 - Orphans of God : Ty Herndon & Kristin Chenoweth feat. Paul Cardall - The message of the song is that there are no orphans of God. We are all loved, we are all thought about, we are all created equally and God loves us all just the same. Ty Herndon is a country singer who came out as gay in 2014

2021 - I Know it Hurts : Paul Cardall & Tyler Glenn - This makes me think of a queer person coming to recognize their insecure place in church, how all those negative teachings were about you. I just wanted to believe, but how am I supposed to believe this about me? And then we find each other, queer believers who can understand what we’re going through, who know the hurt and the teachings and comments. For most queer people, they leave church and go on a different path. They’re not lost, a faint light at the end is guiding their way, they’re finding another way back home.

2021 - It’s a Sin : Elton John and Years & Years - This arrangement of the 1987 song by the Pet Shop Boys was recorded by the gay icons Elton John and Years & Years for the 2021 Brit Awards. The words are about a person’s lifelong feelings of shame and guilt for being taught that being gay is a sin. 

2021 - Born this Way (The Country Road Version) : Orville Peck - For the 10th anniversary of this iconic song, gay singer Orville gives it a country music makeover

2022 - Good Day (feat. Derek Webb) : Flamy Grant - Matthew Blake was a worship leader for 22 years who has become a “shame-slaying, hip-swaying, singing-songwriting drag queen” named Flamy Grant. The lyrics talks of coming back to church after having left for feeling oppressed. They’ve come back to church because despite what some say, God’s love is expansive enough for everyone. God made me good in every way, so I raise my voice to celebrate a good day. This song hit #1 on the iTunes Christian chart.

2022 - If I Was Gay : Andreas Wijv - 29 year old Swedish singer and model Andreas Wijk wrote this song and debuted it in a TikTok video where he plays it for his parents as his way of coming out. It’s a vulnerable song that many will relate to. If I was gay would I be what they say, just a stereotype? If I was gay how do I get to heaven when there’s “no church in the wild”?

2023 - Faith : Semler - Grace Semler Baldridge performs by the name Semler and is genderqueer and nonbinary. Semler grew up with a dad who was a pastor in the Episcopal Church, and sings of how the rejection of their identity by the church left them scarred. When my religion turned against me, they said my hopes and dreams were faulty. I showed these holes inside my hands, and they claimed they couldn’t see. Even as they struggled with the church, Semler kept a relationship with Jesus and found they flourished far more than they did in church, and now the thought of going back to a church is unappealing. But I don’t wanna get small to be in those rooms. After singing about their religion turning against them, we hear the lyrics Our God is good and able, and our God is flipping tables at the mess of love we made a religion that often didn’t accept their identity. This song was released in June and before Pride month was over it reached the top of the iTunes Christian music chart.

2024 - Hell Together : David Archuleta - This is a song of David’s experience at church as a gay person: Bow your head, don’t be bold. You’ll survive by doin’ what you’re told. It became too much and he worries what his mom would think if he leaves the church: All I want is to make you proud. If I would run, would I let you down? In response, she replies: “If I have to live without you. I don’t wanna live forever in someone else’s heaven. So let 'em close the gates. Oh, if they don’t like the way you’re made, then they’re not any better. If Paradise is pressurе, oh, we’ll go to hell togethеr.” A beautiful story of a mom supporting her queer child. In response to his mom, he answers that he’s worried about what’s ahead but is confident to take those steps together: You and me, that’s all we need. Blood is thicker than the pages that they read. I’m afraid (I’m afraid) of letting go, of the version that I used to know. I’m not crying, you are.

[saintsenara]

back with more for @hprecfest - although i'll be skipping day three because i have the concentration span of a kitten and therefore no chance of making it through a podfic...

day two: favourite comfort fics

two boys kissing by writcraft sirius black/severus snape mature | 6.8k words

why i recommend it:

because I'm a sucker for both sirius and snape getting a happy ending, and this fic delivers this within a beautiful, gentle examination of the horrors of sirius' young adult life and the way that hope and desire are things he clings to during the lonely misery of his confinement in azkaban. the repeated motif of the sky always gets to me:

when he showers, he whistles a song. he’s not sure he knows it’s name, but he can remember strobe lights and the way snape looked when he was as young as sirius can remember him being. that was back in the days when severus tried so hard not to be queer and sirius thought he had everything to live for.

sirius spits out toothpaste into the sink and contemplates himself in the mirror. it looks like there’ll be a thunderstorm tonight. he puts his toothbrush into the glass and moves into the room, poking his head out of the window. the wind has gathered momentum but the sky is clear.

he breathes in the air and watches the stars.

so bracing by @kellychambliss minerva mcgonagall/severus snape teen | 9.2k words

why i recommend it:

because i love to see older woman/younger man relationships in fandom - there's still far too few of them - and because i love to see fics from the perspective of minor characters, and this, which is as much a careful and generous character study of tom the barman (and the town of skegness) as it is of its central couple never fails to make me smile:

tom took the chance of sitting down again, and when he didn't get tossed out on his arse, he felt a little emboldened. "and you thought you wanted this? life in a muggle pub in skegness?"

snape loaded a glass into a dishpan, and then another. and another.

"my family," he said, just when tom had decided that he probably wasn't going to say anything at all. "my family wasn't one for holidays. it was all my father could do to keep food on the table, once the mills failed. and once the drinking started. but before all that, there was one summer -- spring, actually. may. we couldn't afford high summer season. da somehow saw his way clear to taking my mother and me to the seaside. i was about six. we came here. skegness. we froze our arses off."

"skegness is. . . so bracing," tom murmured, and snape snorted.

"in a word. three days in a grotty little caravan. cheap, greasy food. saw a sad muggle magic show." he loaded more glasses with a crash. "i loved it. fucking loved the lot of it. "

never gonna give you up by @laeveteinn harry potter/lord voldemort teen | 15k words

why i recommend it:

because it makes me shriek. i'm not usually a fan of either professor harry or professor voldemort fics, but it turns out that my exception is when they're forced to work together as a team because harry's newly-divorced and adrift in a world which no longer makes sense and voldemort's a ghost who's obsessed with memes:

“what are you thinking so intently about?” voldemort murmurs. “you mustn’t overtax your brain, it wasn’t meant for hard activity.”

harry snorts. “honestly, i’m just trying to figure out where albus got his bad taste in men. it’s not ginny; lars isn’t actually that terrible.”

and for some reason, voldemort lets out a lengthy sigh.

clay by @titconao3 harry potter & severus snape general | 46k words

why i recommend it:

because i have an unstoppable fondness for the concept of redemption, which is hugely and unfairly maligned in this fandom, and this story is an astonishingly beautiful meditation on the theme, not only in how it approaches both snape and harry as they come to terms with the war and what it has taken from them, but in how it portrays tobias snape and his own reckoning with his past and quest to make amends with his son:

tobias was on a roll. “you lot, always talking about your magic, waving your bloody sticks around like it makes you better than us normal people…” he slammed his hands on the table and severus shuddered, his fists opening and closing around nothing. he’d left his wand in the room; it wasn’t like he could use it, and he had to trust potter could deal with tobias snape. the man was nothing, to a boy who’d faced the dark lord and come out the victor. “you’re not. you’re not! your goddamn magic… we’d have been better off without it, i’m telling you.” severus looked again through the crack and saw tobias with his back turned on potter, his shoulders shaking. he was angry, but not yet taking it out on potter. maybe he was scared of potter’s wand; maybe now that he was sober he was better at keeping his violence in check. either way, severus didn’t trust it would last forever. it never had, before.

to forgive divine by jellybeany neville longbottom/draco malfoy teen | 7.4k words

why i recommend it:

because there are days when you need eighth-year fluff, and this sort of fluff is so rarely given to neville as a central character, but it should be:

he’d wondered if it was something like that, to be honest. 

because, because. malfoy was always so interested. he’d read in a fortune cookie once that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it's indifference.

which was a rubbish fortune at the time, but it’s relevant now.

[shebles123]

Why this hurts so much

Tonight's episode hurt, and I'm going to try to explain why this was so much more than a slap to the face.

This isn't just about a ship. It goes beyond that. It cuts to the core of our experiences as shippers, particularly those of us who have shipped non-canon queer couples. We have been put down and belittled, labeled as crazy, weird, and disgusting for daring to see two people who clearly love and adore each other explore the possibilities of a romantic bond. We've been told that our desires are taboo and that we should just "get over it." We've been told by 911 show runners in particular that Buddie fans are just misinterpreting the story being told. These constant messages only reinforce the notion that gay relationships are something to be hidden and ashamed of.

As a queer person myself, I understand the pain of growing up without seeing myself represented in the media. It left me feeling isolated and asking myself if I was defective. However, shows like 911 have given me so much hope and have helped me come to terms with who I am. They allowed me to imagine a world where my feelings were valid, where my love was celebrated, and where I could find myself in the stories being told.

With that in mind, I want to acknowledge the existing queer representation on the show. Hen and Karen, Josh and Michael--these characters and their stories have and continue to deeply resonate with so many of us and I think we all genuinely appreciate the gift of having these characters. However, Eddie and Buck's journey is something extraordinary, something that represents so many of our realities and something that could revolutionize queer representation in media going forward.

Imagine a story of two young men growing up in homes where certain expectations were placed upon them to be providers, to bury their emotions, to stifle their hopes and dreams, all in pursuit of conforming to societal norms. Imagine a story where these two men find their own paths towards a traditionally masculine profession and end up finding a loving and accepting family and a place where people from all walks of life are equally lifted up and respected (something that is often not the case in reality).

Imagine these two men find peace, support, and a love they have never experienced before with each other. Imagine the strength of their bond as they become partners in work and in life, the fights and hurts they endure. Imagine them screaming and crying over each other's broken bodies, understanding the fear and pain of living life without one another.

Imagine that these two men build a family together. Imagine one of them is a single father and finds that their partner is one of the only people in the world they could possibly trust with their heart and soul in the form of their child, and imagine the father enshrining that trust and love in law.

Now, imagine that these two men finally see the truth in their relationship--a truth that has been unspoken throughout their time together but remains apparent through their actions. A truth that transcends societal expectations and norms. A truth that declares their love for one another as real and meaningful.

Buddie may have originally been planned as platonic, but they were not written that way, which is why this episode was much more than a slap to the face. It was a punch that said "you're crazy for seeing love where it was written."

Season 6 wrote Buddie with more romantic and domestic undertones than ever before and it feels like a betrayal to disrespect the bond that has been developing between them since day 1.

So to the writers, I implore you to understand the impact of your decisions. Of course, not every ship can become canon, but for the love of god, don't undermine the emotional connection you've nurtured between Buck and Eddie for 5 seasons. Don't discard the authenticity and depth that their relationship holds and please understand the pain we feel as you strip away their journey without proper resolution and without letting their story evolve and flourish into what it was written to be.

With all due respect, go fuck yourself for this, and I hope to god this gets fixed in season 7.

[etoilesombre]

Never have I ever game-- you're known for playing with the source material in ways that don't change canon's outcome, but would you ever do a non-canon Black Sails take? An AU that is entirely different setting from pirates, mod au, fairytale au, space au, cowboy au, etc?

Oh that is a great question. I don't generally do AU, and especially not modern AU, because for me personally it is hard to put them into a high enough stakes environment to explore the elements of the show I'm interested in. HOWEVER. There is one that I started to consider a while ago and have pretty thoroughly fleshed out, and have a serious plan to start once other projects are finished, and that is: Russian Revolution AU! Ok. Stick with me here. [Or don't. I'm going to put this under a cut, it is a lot, and may not make very much sense if you don't already know something about the historical period.]

So, I love the idea of using the Russian revolution as a way to explore some of the same dynamics as the show because it is a period in which there was a lot of righteous idealism, and then it all went very wrong, which naturally brings up questions of ideological commitment vs survival, what are you willing to sacrifice, how do your ideals hold up in the real world, etc. It is also a time when how queerness was treated was very in flux, fitting well with 'we care if its politically convenient to care.'

Basically, we start in the early 1920s right after Lenin dies. Flint is a general, old guard party member, was a commander in the civil war. He is known for doing Really Heinous Flinty Shit during that period. He is sort of revered but also feared, and very ideologically motivated, and so of course he is about to get his ass purged when Stalin starts to consolidate and bring everybody into line.

Silver (10ish years younger) grew up during the upheaval of the 1905, WWI, 1917. He's his survivalist trauma bundle self, and ends up working as a low level NKVD (early Soviet intelligence) guy. He gets sent to keep tabs on/gather evidence against Flint - there is immediately a Frenemies attraction spark there. For Plot Reasons they have to do something together and become Reluctant Allies. I have some of the actual plot worked out but I'm not going to get much into it here, but there is absolutely a parallel conflict in values to the show, and choice that has to be made at the end.

IN THE MEAN TIME interspersed through all of this, in flashbacks: back sometime in the years right after the 1905 revolution, Flint is a promising young military guy who came up from nothing, and has a Hennessey parallel benefactor who sends him to school to be educated. He falls in with Thomas, who is the son of a minor prince, very queer and getting away with it, and is a radical in the Christian anarchist Tolstoy model. Flint gets radicalized through him and his friends, they spend happy years abroad in exile with Thomas writing and Flint being a tactician and doing direct action stuff. They come back in 1917, the civil war starts, Thomas is basically murdered by his family because he sided against them, and he is still set to inherit. SO, that is why Flint goes all Darkness and gets especially nasty during the civil war.

There is a Miranda proxy as well. I believe she disappears and her disappearance is what sets off Plot Events.

It's also set in St. Petersburg, if anybody is wondering. Moscow, with the level I have Flint at, would involve too much interaction with Actual Historical Figures, and while I know a fair amount about this era and am totally committed to research, but still, that gets to be Much.

So, there you have it, Russia AU! My delusional long-term goal is for this to be different enough from canon that it could be published. Thanks for the ask, it's helping me get excited about that project again!

[snowysobsessions]

Queer Resources!

This is by no means a complete list and it's something I will keep adding to and improving. If you have any helpful links not listed here, please send them my way!

Please reblog this post, as you never know who may desperately need one of these resources. Feel free to share individual links with friends/family as well. Knowledge is power, after all!

General:

Online safety guide for queer people This guide is extremely thorough, having sections for being online while queer in general, dating online, navigating the workplace, advice for queer people under 18, and more. If you grew up online and think you don't need to read any of this, I am begging you to read it. There's always something you don't know, something you won't think to do in a stressful situation. Please, please read through it all. Safety first!

Coming out handbook by The Trevor Project (PDF) A downloadable PDF walking you through the coming out process. It's a bit long, but well worth reading even if you have come out already to friends and/or family. It is very supportive of you, the reader, so it is wonderful if you feel unsure or nervous about your identity.

Quick guide for coming out (nonbinary focused) This is a briefer guide for if you or someone else just needs an overview of the process. It doesn't focus as much on the emotional support part and more on the logistics of coming out. So this one is good if you're very confident in your identity and just need to come out.

Pronouns and names:

Pronoun Dressing Room This site lets you try different pronouns AND names for yourself. You can fill the text fields with literally anything you want. It also has lots of neopronoun presets, organized alphabetically and by theme. To "try on" pronouns and names it uses a simple example paragraph where someone talks to their friend about meeting you. But there is also sections of public domain books where your name and pronouns replace the main characters'.

Pronouns Page This site allows you to make a "card" that lists all your names, flags/identities, pronouns, and terms you want used for you, as well as your preferences for/feelings about of them. It is highly customizable, you can add neopronouns, nounself pronouns, and emoji pronouns. You can even make separate cards for other languages. These cards can be easily shared with others and linked in profiles. It is also a huge resource for terminology, definitions and descriptions of identities, and how pronouns have been and are used in culture and fiction. There's also a full calendar of awareness days/week, appreciation days/weeks, and days of remembrance.

List of nonbinary names These are organized into separate pages by first letter. It includes non-English names, gives origin and meaning for each name, and, perhaps most helpfully, includes how often that name is used as a feminine or masculine name. Even if you are not nonbinary, this can still be helpful in choosing a new name. Personally I found this page infinitely more helpful than going to baby name lists, which are often split by gender and don't have as much for gender neutral names.

Gender:

The Nonbinary Wiki home page This wiki is an invaluable resource, I'm not exaggerating. It has almost everything you would want to know about gender, sexuality, and romantic attraction. It has who made the flags, their meanings, when terms were coined, archived posts, the history of identities, sub identities and micro labels... everything. I will note that understandably, the info for binary gender experiences on this wiki is limited.

List of (common) nonbinary identities This list gives descriptions, history, and more for every common gender identity that isn't strictly the binary female/woman or male/man. Almost every one of these identities has its own dedicated page which goes into further detail. And this list includes nonbinary identities that have existed in non-European and non-American cultures for centuries, or even thousands of years.

List of uncommon nonbinary identities This is a huge and detailed compilation of identities that have as little as one person known to use that label. It also has links to the original or archived posts where the term was coined, if available. This page can be used as something to help you figure out what you like and what you don't like in terms of gender identity. And you never know, the perfect label for you could be in here.

Legal recognition of transgender and nonbinary people by country This page details how inclusive, or exclusive, countries are to trans and nonbinary people. Such as if they allow "X" for gender/sex on ID and passports, what is required to have it changed, and how easy or difficult it is to change your legal name. Canada, the UK, and the USA have dedicated pages for this that go into further detail and provide more resources.

Romance and sexuality:

List of romantic and sexual orientations (nonbinary focused) This list does include common ones like lesbian, but also includes rare identities such as Aquian, being attracted only to people who's gender changes. As I said this is focused on orientations that do not assume you are a binary gender, the people you are attracted to are a binary gender, or that your gender is connected to your sexuality.

AUREA (The Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Advocacy, and Education) AUREA is not very large right now, but what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality. It has a large glossary of romantic, aromantic, queerplatonic, and other related terms. Which includes rare terms and identities under the aromantic umbrella. They have downloadable PDFs with basic info on aromanticism, as well as links to research that has been done on aromanticism.

Guide to Aromanticism This contains basic info about aromanticism, and "Am I Aro?" questioning section, and links to aro creators. Reading through the whole thing shouldn't take more than half an hour.

Allosexual Aromantic resources This site links to a wide variety of resources by, for, and information on allo-aros. There's terminology guides, how to write allo-aro characters, how to be a good ally towards allo-aros, essays, and fiction featuring allo-aro characters.

AVEN (The Asexual Visibility and Education Network) This is a wonderful resource for information on asexuality. It has a thorough FAQ section for both people questioning and friends/family who have questions and concerns about asexualism.

Asexual Perspectives This is a community blog where people can write about their experiences as asexuals. These posts are incredibly validating and eye-opening and I strongly recommend you read them.

The Gray Area This is a quick FAQ about greysexualism and demisexualism that is for questioning, allies, and people unfamiliar with greysexualism.

AVEN Forms AVEN hosts a form where asexuals, and people who once identified as asexual, can talk about their experiences.

An Asexual's Guide To... This is a brief sex ed taught from an asexual perspective. Which is to say it does not automatically assume you are interested in sexual activities and have some experience feeling sexual attraction. Even if you aren't asexual, it can be quite helpful in understanding the experience. It does not teach you much about the actual having sex part, though. It focuses more on being comfortable with yourself and your body. It is also inclusive to intersex people. (This guide has no pictures, if you were worried about that.)

Setting sexual boundaries with a partner list This is not queer specific but still helpful as it does not assume the sexual relationship is between the two binary sexes/genders and still works if you are intersex. To cut down the paragraphs at the beginning, this is a list of sexual and romantic actions and behaviours. You are supposed to assign a yes, maybe, no, or not applicable to everything on this list to indicate if you are willing, unsure, or will not do those things. It is suggested you go through it with your partner, but you can fill it out alone to figure out your preferences. This list/guide can be useful if you have sexual trauma and/or have had an abusive partner in the past and need to communicate what may trigger you.

[devine-fem]

Not an ask. Just wanted to say u always put the best stuff on my dashboard. ❤️❤️ and u have the best takes on my fav DC characters & ships 😅

AFAAFOUASHF (I'm fixated on Birdflash so I used this as a way to rant about them. I'm sorry this got a bit long ...) I appreciate this so much. I guess this is somewhat coming from my sudden fixation on Birdflash? No, I so get it. Thank you so much, @dinkgrayson. I so get it like I feel like I ship birdflash a little differently than the average person. Like I love Wallylinda like I do Clois and I also ship Dickkory really hard, so Birdflash are exes to me, it especially helps because fandom always depicts them as Robin and Kid Flash before they both met their soulmates, but I just ship them as exes, they are my favorite exes and I wish there were more fics where they were portrayed as exes and not endgame. Same thing with Supermanhunter. I ship Clark and J'onn as exes because if they were exes, it'd be so interesting. Same with Dickwally, I think the way they talk about each other just seems a little off... I don't know how to describe it but the way they grew from each other kind of felt like a breakup but one on good terms.

To me, Birdflash dated as Kid Flash and Robin [I also am so partial to them because I love Kid Flash!Wally and Robin!Dick... he's my favorite Robin... I just grew so attached to the fab five that I love Dick and Wally in those eras so much] because I feel like while they were Kid Flash and Robin they were much more unsure of themselves and would've jumped into a relationship a little bit more easily because they both desired some comfort from constant stress that no one else shared but each other because Robin and Wally at the time didn't have other robins or kid flashes to relate to. (I also use them as kind of the queer experience a little bit because in my head, I feel like they never really LABELED themselves as a couple, but they just kept seeking and finding in each other it stopped being platonic at a point. It's an envelope of the queer experience where your repressed and internalizing your emotions, especially in an era where Dick and Wally were created to be more relatable, I feel like it makes their characters a bit stronger...) Around the time Dick became Nightwing is when they broke up and on good terms, they stayed friends and purely platonic, but I also feel like they treat each other with a certain cadence of care/love that it feels very much like how you'd treat your ex. Just thinking about them being in a somewhat incognito relationship where Bats knows but doesn't say anything and they quietly break up which like helps with their development in my head is so chewy. I guess Birdflash a bit more looks down upon as of recently within the fandom because of how Birdflash shippers have treated Linda (I was surprised finding this out because it seemed so dead) but I also feel like it's not that serious because I understand that Wally is very family orientated but so is Clark. Clark NEEDS Lois and Superbat exists as to which SOME people treat Lois a bit harshly, but no one complains about that erasing Clark's character even though I really don't think Clark and Bruce are that much important to each other as everyone thinks they are (I don't like Superbat much either) Some people may treat Wally as an item to Dick but not me, I actually have read and know more about the Flashfam. I know more about Wally than Dick because I never really cared for the batfam that much... but that's just me. I'm a bit different and I wonder if like I'll post them more. Not sure. Sorry, ranting...