#and dont talk to me abt that show being a big part of your life or it helping you or whatever the fuck

[greencarnation]

So yk how Taika, Rhys and Con are Zionists? I think we all know by now. (People supporting them anyway I fucking see you)

It gets worse. Remember how they killed Ivan off screen and kinda just erased him? Turns out it's because they fired the actor, Guz Khan, over his support of Palestine last year. Last year. None of this is new, but I'm glad we're finally waking up to it

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐁𝐋𝐋𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒' 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒:

with… nagi seishirou, kunigami rensuke, reo mikage, chigiri hyoma

idk abt part two yet ^^

NAGI SEISHIROU: quality time

- nagi isnt much of a talker, so no words of affection. hes lazy, so not acts of service. quality time just fits so well because ?? its effortless, anything else is just a hassle for him (/hj)

- he enjoys lazy days where he can just sit around with you, watch tv or just stay in bed all day long. its simple and he enjoys your company

- a comfortable silence is often created during these lazy days. he’s on his phone laying in your lap while youre on yours or youre watching the television or something. theres no need for interactions or talking in general

- (i wanna mention the nagi episode manga chapter where nagi’s eyes literally start glowing when reo tells him he likes being around him) nagi honestly thinks he’s boring, like he will literally admit it. he thinks hes a boring person and he doesnt think anyone really wants to be around him

- so when you ask him to just lay around all day with you hes like, “…really? is it okay?”

- and so many days end up as lazy days. quiet, relaxed days where neither of you have to talk much, its just being around each other, enjoying and accepting each others company

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (pre-wildcard): acts of service

- regardless of how strong or tall you are, kunigami willing to do anything for you just because he can

- “oh you cant reach this? i got it for you, here!” or “you need to move this? let me help, y/n!”

- not only is it because hes more than capable of helping out, but because he thinks its considerate and attentive.

- he’s all sweet smiles whenever you ask for help, especially when you can’t reach something. 6 foot and two fucking inches and he practically towers over you (at least he does for me), and so whenever you have to stand on your tip toes to reach for something, he always notices. He walks up behind you with a small smile as he watches you struggle.

- and you dont even notice until his deep voice booms from behind you, it almost surprises you. and he’s reaching up, arm extending over your fucking head, to grab what you need. when he hands it to you, there’s a sweet, almost amused look on his face. of course he can’t help but tease a little bit. but before he walks away, he leans down, eye to eye with you, and pats your head as a you’re welcome

REO MIKAGE: gift giving, words of affection

- ive spoken briefly about my headcanon of giving gifts to words of affection reo

- i feel like his entire life growing up, he was bought things as a form of “love”, so really thats all he knew

- you have to sit down with him and tell him that although you appreciate it, he doesnt have to buy you the world.

- you simply teach him that theres so much more to showing love than buying things

- reo ends up learning from what you taught him. BUT not only does he continue to give you gifts, he includes small love letters along with them.

- a bouquet of fresh, colorful roses with a small white envelope tucked into the flowers with a little message.

- messages like: for my precious! <3 if you were a flower i’d pick you!

CHIGIRI HYOMA: acts of service, physical touch

- pushing the male wife chigiri agenda AGAIN !! (dedicated to puriiii <3)

- now normally, chigiri could give less of a fuck about what other people need/want. hes the type of guy who walks past someone who dropped something bc literally hes like “uh. whatever…” like they can pick it back up themself, he quite literally just does not give a shit

- but the moment you need something, he is ON IT. it doesnt matter how big or small, whether you need a tissue or you’d like some water, hes literally rushing to get it

- immediately stopping whatever he was doing to jump up and get what you need

- speedy little man has it for you in 0.5 seconds

- its nothing too complicated, just “oh my lover needs something, so i’ll get it right away”

- now physical touch. i dont mean like, absolutely smothering you all the time like nagi’s headcanons. i mean like, touches that leave you with shivers

- he���s trying to get around you for something or he’s passing by and his slender fingers end up ghosting lightly at your waist or hips (bonus points if you have some kind of cropped shirt on…he knows exactly what he’s doing when he intentionally slips his cold fingers against your warm skin)

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

YGESSSSS. NEW BSB ENJOYER FOUND. who is your favorite character if i may ask... i have like atleast 5 but kai is at the top i think. sometimes i think about this image and i'm like "my god what the fuck even is that". one of the guys of all time

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” LMFAOOO no because thats exactly what my friend said when they saw yuriy KEDBJSBSGWJW. What is. Wrong with his eyebrows....looking like a creature…a bug with antannae perhaps….

BUT MY FAVORITE IS MAX‼️‼️‼️hes been my fav ever since i started watching it love him… my second favorite is kai probably though LOL. I can tell hes one of those fan favorite characters right🤔usually characters like him are… not a bad thing just an observation lol. Metal fight beyblade was the beyblade show i had known my entire life and was a big fan of so i wanted to see the other beyblade shows with it and for some reason i watched beyblade burst before bakuten shoot ????? Yeah that 7 season show i only liked the very first season of… the rest was so boring and for some reason i forced myself to watch it by using it as background noise😭

idk why i didnt give up and watch bakuten instead, took me too long lmfao. Th reason why i mentioned metal fight is that since i knew that show my entire life i had certain expectations on certain type of characters (ik bakuten came first but metal couldve been influenced by it and it was bcs there are similarities lol) (i mean king [from bakuten] looks almost identical to dynamis [from mfb] <- thats just one example) so i thought, while i was watching season 1, Kai Hiwatari was gonna be like Kyouya Tategami where hes with the team yes but doesnt see himself as a part of it and is there for himself only bcs hes a loner or whatever but then that thing at the end of the season happened he became a part of the team and the didnt have random unnecessary off screen character regression like kyouya did in the next 2 seasons (and also isnt an asshole abt it like when he left temporarily to battle takao in g revulotion he wasnt like “fuck you dumbass” like kyouya did basically 😭😭)….

That was so refreshing to see bcs thats not what i was expecting and thank god it exceeded my expectations 😭 thats why i keep saying kai is kyouya done right bcs he kinda is…. Though i find it funny when hes just standing in the background w his arms crossed or laying on the grass like damn bro wants to be cool so bad (not as cool as the frame of rei kon absolutely BALLING)

Said max is my favorite and talked about kai the entire time LOL no but he’s my fav i love that guy EXCEPT. the fact that. He likes mayonnaise… idgaf if its ur style mayonnaise is disgusting im disappointed in you max…..

I also like Yuriy who also seems to be a fan favorite from what ive seen which i expected but i like him in a way like, hes so funny to me. Bro walkin around with bug antannae and the worst posture youve ever seen. Why is he built like that. Fucking thing. Also big fan of the weird ass sht he does in g revulotion when doing special moves hes got CLAWS hell yeah. No bcs no one elses looks like dat when they do it⬇️ as a certified creature fan i can proudly confirm this, indeed, is one of the creature moments of all time.

⬆️i remember seeing this frame before watching the show and thinking what could possibly be the context behind this LMFAO . Shoutout to Rei kon for also being a creature big fan of the pointy ears and slit orange eyes (v force when i catch you v force)

I dont know peoples opinions of daichi but he seems like the type of character ppl might hate for being annoying but i like him bcs he reminds me of me and my brother when we were little (im the younger sibling) bcs every interaction between takao and daichi reminded me of us LMFAO 10/10 sibling dynamic (better than takaos actual brotha😬)

N lemme see if i have any kai screenies i took cauze i took a sht tonna screenshots

I was gonna capriin thwm but idk how to write inbetween them so im typing them here

First pic - already has a caption

Second pic - ths shit makes me laugh everytime im so glad people are not hesitant to resort to violence in this saga

Third pic - V force jumpscare

Fourth pic - what is he listening to . Do you guys think Kai Hiwatari would like Yuno Miles

Fifth pic - one…..one piece…..

Sixth pic - they forgot to colour teh pack of his hair lol

Seventh pic - no need for a caption. What is that

Last pic - he. Smirks like an animal. Idk how to explain it but, he smiles like how an animal or an ailen trying to do it for the first time would do it

I will read the manga soon i have physical copies of the first 4 volumes and ill find the rest on the net bcs bakuten media is so much easier to find that mfb is THANK GOD. I will also be looking up shitty 13 yr old amv s and yall better have sum real 2011 sht

[bil-daddy]

Mr bildad the shuhite, I need some advice. What do I do when that familiar overwhelming sadness washes over me? Ive been feeling horribly depressed lately, even though I have no real reason to be. I do talk to my friends abt this, but I dont want to talk abt my mental state ONLY and drive them away, so I refrain from talking abt it too much even tho it feels like it will drown me, because I am too afraid of seeming clingy.

Its been getting worse lately, and all I can do is distract myself from it. Ive been excessively sleeping just to not.. feel. I dont know what to do, nor do I know how to not feel this way

I made myself a nice breakfast, and it felt good. And then the feeling came back, like a drip drip drip from the leaking faucet of my mental health I cant control. I am scared. I am so scared

Sorry if this ask wasnt what u were expecting, or if u cant help me either, thats completely fine. I just needed to share somehow how scared I am. Of myself, what I feel I dont know

I dont know. I just dont know

Best wishes,

Anon❤️

*shows up one month late carrying six shots of espresso in a big cup to answer this ask*

It's taken me a while to respond to this because 1) I've been going through a bit of the same thing myself and 2) I haven't figured out a solution yet.

I do have some ideas, though.

You were on the right track, making yourself a nice breakfast. Little things like that make a bigger difference than you think. In fact, I think we should all try to live in the little moments as much as we can. Sometimes, when you're feeling depressed but can't point at a reason in your own life, it's because you're reacting to large scale problems that, while very real, are out of your control--and you know this, and so you feel depressed and scared because there's nothing you can do.

But there is something you can do.

Do at least one thing nice for yourself everyday as part, even if it's something really small. Especially something really small. Listen to your favourite song. Eat a piece of chocolate, just because. Play with a pet, if you have one.

And, if you're up to it, do at least one nice thing for someone else, too. Help your parents with the chores. Call a grandparent and brighten their day. Send a kind message to a friend.

Because you should keep on talking to your friends. The right friends will be honoured you've opened up to them. Listen to your friends, too. They might be going through things to, and being a comfort to them might in turn make you feel better, as well. Being part of a community, even if it's just a small group of friends--or even a group of two--can really help. Having you a sense of purpose, belonging, and importance is part of what makes people people.

Sleeping a lot isn't necessarily bad. Ive done that myself (for totally normal amounts of time, definitly not entire century or anything) Sometimes, your body and your mind just needs the rest. But if you feel like you're sleeping too much, then you probably need something exciting to be awake for.

It might be time to try out a new hobby, start a new TV show or book, take a class, or set a new goal that you can work towards a little bit every day. The mind craves new experiences and challenges. If everything's been the same for a while, depression can set in simply due to boredom.

However, there could just as easily be other causes, which are worth looking into with a therapist and a psychiatrist, if you want to try the medical route--and it is worth a try with persistent depression.

It sounds to me like you also have some anxiety about having depression, since it scares you (and rightfully so, it is scary) that you can feel it coming on and that you can't control it. For that, in addition to what I've already mentioned above, I'd suggest thinking about it differently. Instead of leaking faucet you're desperately trying to shut off, let yourself feel whatever emotions you're feeling*

(*safely and within reason--don't harm yourself or others)

Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let it out.

Sometimes, the sadness we fear feeling ends up not being as bad as the fear of it. You might feel relieved, once you're no longer bottling everything up and sleeping/distracting yourself to avoid feeling sad. As cliche as a it is, the only way out is through.

Have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey. You can do it.

[taeraerizz]

soldier lee seunghwan

「seunghwan x gn!reader」

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst & suggestiveness

warnings: dirty jokes, war mentions, food, basically it. oh yeah not proofread at all honestly

summary: quality time w the love of ur life seunghwan! (kinda)

a/n: im back w… something (definitely not the best) . its not the seunghwan fic i made u guys do a poll abt i ditched that one bc it just didn’t turn out how i wanted. anyways enjoy and pls reblog or like so i dont procrastinate on writing😁

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Hwanie

Im free nowwww

You

Got ur fav ramen w me hehehe

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You quickly turned off your phone and headed out of your apartment door. You make your way towards the familiar dance studio down the road that had become a part of your daily routine. Visiting there almost every single day all because of one reason: lee seunghwan.

When seunghwan came back home just after getting eliminated… it was hard, to say the least. If it had been any other time for any other reason, you would’ve been happy about seunghwan being back home. More movies, more dates, more cuddles, more kisses. But this time? Oh it physically pained your heart to see him walk through your front door with drooped shoulders and a torn expression. He trudged in as if he was a traumatised soldier coming back from war. Except you guess it kind of was like that for him. War. Fighting his hardest just to prove himself worthy. But also like war, things don’t always go your way. Sometimes the borders that you had built and the weapons you had prepared go shattering apart and you’re forced to shrink back down to where you started.

And you saw that happening to seunghwan many times. It hurt to see the love of your life in such a state, but you knew how bad it was for him as well. you remember the times he worked multiple jobs just to afford a small dance studio to continue practicing for another survival show. Or every single time a company turned him down for who knows what reasons they had up their little asses. And even all the rants and breakdowns he has almost once every week. You were always there, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Things have changed a little now. He got more popular, and his growth was amazing. Companies had actually started to give him offers and he even held fan meetings! Because of this though, he was feeling a little mixed up. With the amount of support he was getting now, was it really worth it to go enlist so soon? That was a big topic in your conversations lately, the number of times you’d talked about it must be countless. Regardless of the decision he makes though you knew, your arms would be open and ready to welcome him anytime.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Knock knock knock

You heard quick shuffling of feet getting closer and the door sprang open almost immediately after your third knock. Not even a second later large sweaty arms indulge you into the broad chest of its owner. “oh oh be careful the ramen might spill,” you reminded the boy in front of you.

“who cares? I don’t. if that spills I could just eat you instead?” he replies with a disgustingly beautiful smirk. You stared blankly at him, “you’re so gross hwan, I would never let you do that to me especially not in the state you’re in right now. I don’t taste that good anyways.”  At this point your hug had been broken apart and you walked past him to put away your food against the mirror across the room. Not giving any attention to the boy behind you and what he was doing. “hey- “ you were cut off by bright eyes staring deep into you, his hunched body making your proximity to him almost as close as it could possibly get. Nose tips pressed against one another, lips slightly brushing together, and breaths mirroring each other. Gosh were you in love with this man. “hwan... what are you doing…” you somehow managed to utter out. He chuckles a little, “I can always double check how you taste anytime you want you know,” he teases.

There were a few seconds of silence and once you processed those words into your brain, you instantly pulled away from the slightly intimate position you were in.

“oh hell no hwan. Get your horny ass out of here, the only thing you’re gonna be doing right now is eating and showering. Now come here before the ramen gets cold.”

An annoyed groan fills the room.

[desire-mona]

yooo hello fellow allison cameron is a lesbian enthusiast!

i was wondering if you would like to be mutuals?

i need more house obsessed mutuals that i can yap to! and you seem v cool too:)

ALSO YOURE INTO SHIFTING LETS GOO‼️‼️

(hope that this doesn’t come across as weird)

YES HIIIIIIII!!!!!!! im using this opportunity to talk abt comphet!cam bc shes soooooo on the mind, i thiiiiink i stole this point from @blue-boulder in case u want another lesbian cam mutual

camerons comphet was so on display basically the entire time she was on the show to the point where its comical. first of all her "relationship" with chase (or lackthereof) being PURELY sexual and based off the fact that she was just bored and saw him as suitable enough. r u kidding me. also the only other time where she had sex with a man (still chase, womp womp #chasehater) being when shes high. exploding at that. and also side eyeing chase soooooo fucking hard, that man has zero understanding of how consent works.

i think cameron and wilson have a lot in common in terms of their reasoning for why they get with/ are drawn to the people they are. and thats also a big part of wilson comphet too, bc they both rly like feeling needed. now ofc cam goes abt it in a much better way bc she doesnt cheat on anyone, but you can tell with her marriage, while not lacking love, was most certainly based off of her desire to be someones lifeline per se. her brief sorta fling with that charity guy in that one episode is another example of this as well, but i do think another factor was her admiration for his morals and character. and again with house, which i will always laugh at because if that isnt the biggest case of "i can fix him" in the entire world then idk what is. wilson however just kinda gets with women who need him (or who he perceives as needing him) and then gets bored when they. dont. speaking very surface level bc this post isnt abt him. either way, wilson could learn a thing or two from cam in the comphet department i suppose. i really really wish we got more of cameron, if she stayed thru the whole series i think a whole lot of my life problems would be alleviated at the very least. i wanna see her get a girl crush!!

also, she absolutely 100% dresses like a queer woman, even for the early 2000s, like look at this

because wdym waistcoat and white button down with puffy sleeves.

n e way not a super in depth analysis cuz im kinda spitballing and not in a place of house md analysing but its good enough. hello new mutual!!!

[its-koili]

hey guys. sorry for being gone for so long. heres an update

(tw for: mention of violence / gore, general distress, mental health issues)

(tw below)

.

basically i had a huge mental health crisis. i was having 24/7 constant rolling panic attacks from may of 2023 to january of this year. my last big meltdown was in early february. been processing a lot of CSA trauma and some recent trauma that ive gone through. i think i talked about my panic attacks before leaving social media but idk i dont remember. isolated myself from absolutely everybody.

the main thing that made me leave was that while i was keeping up to date on the g3n0c1d3 (censoring bc idk how tumblr is about it), and when i was looking in the replies / related of the awareness videos, i came across 4 accounts dedicated to using gore for clicks / shock. not videos of the g3n0c1d3 (thank god bc of how they were using the vids) but of unfortunate every day situations and cam footage. like, the kind of stuff you could see on liveleak back in 2010. just out in the open on twitter. they all had usernames like "(insert number here) ways to die)". they were all content farms for click/ad revenue. it was too much it was a huge trigger and i had a full on meltdown. the bluecheck ppl on twitter were using the replies of the videos people uploaded for raising awareness to upload mindless g0re for money. the fact that peoople have 0 compassion for human life sent me into a spiral that i couldnt get out of. (i reported 3 out of the 4 accounts i was able to and 3 got taken down but 1 is still up and it odesnt seem to be uploading the hardcore g0r3 anymore. so thats good. but that was one of the reasons i left social media. ive been keeping up to date w the news but thats it. i left my socials entirely and ive only been on my phone to look up recipes or to use my computer for media research groceries and gaming and shows

that was the main thing that pushed me to leave. i just couldnt take it anymore. during the start of my crisis last year, i was planning on taking a small break, but all of that pushed me over the edge and i dropped everything. after that, my issues got worse and i dont remember most of it. thankfully. but i couldnt bring myself to talk to anybody. i isolated myself and just. laid in bed. but im doing better so i guess thats good

on another topic ive beeen nervous to post this on main but during all of this (ive talked abt tihs a little bit on my priv before i left) i found out that im a system a long while back. my dad (one of my abusers) had/has DID and it terrified me to think that i could be anything like him. i also knew cereal abuser who pretended to be a system to get away with stuff/abusing their friends (and then years later admitted that they werent a system and siad that systems are fake.) LOTS of tears. lots of crying over this. was in denial for a few weeks. cried some more. then eventually came to terms with it.

i dont want to post abt my system online too much bc i dont want to act like this is some fun trendy thing bc its not. it makes day to day living very hard (some lighter/funnier issues that make it hard are: arguing with an alter bc YOU dont know where THEY put YOUR MEDS, not being able to cook because one alter can and the other cant, your art style not being consistent because their styles are different). i dont want to really make it a massive part of my identity online bc its not a big deal! theres just Multiple Little Guys in my brain. so. im a system! im the same but....this explains why i dont remember talking to certain people SUIDHUFHX. i always felt bad. makes conversing with online friends hard especially if icons/usernames are changed. ill make a separate post about this someday thatll go into detail a bit more.

i went years thinking it was just "kinning" but it wasnt lol. it turns out that your personality completely shifting, tastes in food / music / art / media changing, the way you walk / talk dress changing, and having complete memory blackouts when you """"kin shift"""" isn't normal. /lh (dw ive had a lot of time to come to terms with this)

but basically right now ive been spending time getting to,,know myself?? iive been using simplyplural for myself for several months and im uncovering a lot of my memories / trauma ect bc alters can write down what they need to in the chat. so i can go back later and read it. its been v helpful!

i will not be coming back just yet. i have no interest in using social media rn or drawing or writing unfortunately. ive been working on my original stuff here and there but i havent been drawaing fandom stuff bc im not hyperfixating on a fandom.

also. some things have come up. im not going to say anything until the party in question is stable/safe/comfortable before i even suggest anything for context (i dont plan on talking abt anything at all unless they start talking publicly). right now i am helping someone through abuse. their wellbeing is my #1 concern. i'll think about other things after im sure theyre okay.

i dont really have any resolutions as to how things are going but i do feel better and im not having as many panic attacks. i dont really know where im going with this now sorry. just trying to brush over the basic topics before i go. idk if anybody remembers me bc ive been gone for so long so idk if im just talking into the wind but if i am thats fine honestly this is helping me reorganize my thoughts (i type these vents out a lot on docs so i probably wont remember posting this hiudhvu)

other than that. i dont draw or write anymore. i think in the past 6 months ive drawn like....5 things. its. weird. im completely disconnected from fandoms now. coming up to a full year of not having a hyperfixation at all.

my bday was on the 6th. im 27 now im very old (everybody forgot it asides from my husband (and the people he reminded) n my abuser). ive been trying to cook and bake more and ive been playing video games again. planning on getting back into drawing soon and working on my original stuff. when i come back im planning on redesigning my profiles and updating my social media bios and stuff bc theyre so old. also ill make a section on my carrd for my system. there you go theres some positivity to the update nxfjdfjh. sorry if i dont seem very enthused im very tired so typing has been a chore hfuidshuifv.

sorry that this was a lot or if it seems disjointed i was trying to put down as much into this as possible without making it too long

bye!!! see u all soon!

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[raethethey]

saw a video today of someone doing a skit of them and some bigot talking abt this persons gender identity. the bigot was making the usual snide remarks and being all "well actually" and "im mad youre not getting mad abt how i feel abt your gender identity" "it?" blah blah bullshit type stuff we all hear right? but the other person identified as apagender (apathetic about gender: they dont care). and it brought up some thoughts ive had abt myself for a long time

all my life ive played the obedient child. the quiet, no-talking back child. the dont show feelings bc its embarrassing or annoying child. its really just hurt me for so long. and now that i recognise myself as masc-nonbinary and poly-omniromantic, demi-greysexual who leans ace (for now), i still find myself shrinking down into others boxes. and most of it has to do with my religious guilt and not having the energy to explain what all those terms mean over and over bc as a wise person once said "if youre gay, all your life you will be coming out over and over again, forever". but i just dont catch myself correcting ppl if they get the wrong pronoun, even friends. i let them use what they want even tho it makes me so uncomfortable. (id rather be uncomfortable than have someone look at me with contempt) which goes to show how small i make myself. i omit parts of myself to have them understand me better when all im really doing is telling them a lie. i say im nonbinary, they/them. but im masc-nonbinary, they/he (anything but she basically: my bestie whom i love uses neo pronouns for me sometimes as a lil joke but i love them. anything but she/her) Im poly-omniromantic. omni isnt pan. it isnt bi. its a lil in the middle and i just dont know how to explain that without saying "i have preferences sometimes" and then again omitting that i would literally fall in love with anyone as long as they were good for me and i was good for them who cares what their pronouns are what sex they are or where they are in their life journey on the identity train. the "sometimes" part comes from me knowing my gender id can fluctuate and so can my sexual/romantic preferences. omni seems like it fits me really well. but almost no one knows wtf that means. and dont get me started on poly. hollywood has just absolutely ruined our community imo. demi-greysexual is a little easier to explain. demi: obviously i need romantic feelings first. grey: its like a light switch i dont have control over. leaning ace: thats pretty self-explanatory. but i dont tell ppl this. i let them think what they want to think about me. i brush off misgenderings when ik theyre new to it or trying their hardest bc they mightve grown up in a conservative community where there was only male and female around.

my big personality has never known the light of day unless im alone or with the most trusted of trusted and there are so few of those in my life. i have struggled with this my whole life and im so sick of it. i cant find the courage to just speak up for myself. and i even had a friend say they loved that i had the confidence to do so. imposter syndrome where? right here bitch! and even after saying this all here in my little semi-public diary, i wont bring it up with my friends. i wont be fully transparent with future lovers, my siblings will never fully know me, my parents wont understand. i feel like im on a fucking island

[slut4thebroken]

Hey so I love all your content and I swear I'm not a hater but im ngl your venting abt ur adhd kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Not you having adhd but I guess how you talk about people and how you dont think you're rude. I know you were saying you hate adhd but it sounds like you resent people as well for something they will never understand. You say you hate constantly being called out for sounding rude but reading your whole speech kinda shows that you are a rude person. I understand its frustrating to have something that not a lot of people can relate to or understand but you shouldn't expect people who know you to just upright tolerate you being rude. If a lot of people are telling you you're being rude it most likely factual and you should take steps to not be rude but just bc you have adhd doesnt mean people have to put up with the rude behavior.

Again, im not a hater and I still really enjoy your content and you as a person (from whatever I see here of course) but I think you should have more patience on yourself and try to be a better person. I think all of this is still within your control so ill be cheering you on. (I know in your tags you said you can't control it and I know you can't control the fact that you have adhd but you can control your actions and responses) But also please be kinder to those around you and maybe communicate these struggles that you do have so that they can try to understand you better. I am sorry you're having a tough time tho i hope things look up for you.

Not sure how that whole “speech” showed that I’m a rude person when all I was doing was talking about how much I hate myself lmao. I don’t blame or resent other people especially neurotypicals for not understanding it. My issue is when I’ll say something that is not an actual rude sentence and the only reason people think it sounds rude is because of my tone. I also most of the time will add on immediately after: “sorry, that was not supposed to sound like that. I was being genuine.” but some people in my class will still make it a whole big thing and start mocking the way I said it rather than just being like “thanks for clarifying.” (And trust me bestie, if I could control it, I wouldn’t have grown up my whole life getting in trouble for having an attitude when I was just trying to talk normally with my parents because I would’ve stopped talking like that.) But you’re right. Masking 24/7 and constantly focusing on making sure I’m speaking in the right tone and thinking about it every single time I talk is definitely great advice that I haven’t tried before😍 (that last part was supposed to sound rude💀 /hj..)

[champagnepodiums]

i guess this is where i confess that i like esteban more than i like pierre and one of the reasons is because of the differences in how esteban has handled the whole situation vs pierre. // GIRL - thats the whole point. You dont know what the "situation" is. You dont know what happened between them. Noone knows but them. It very well might be that pierre's reaction is fully justified. For me esteban's silence always showed that hes done sthing shady he doesnt wanna talk about.

Also there must be a reason why big part of the grid dislikes the guy. I dont think pierre goes from motorhome to motorhome whispering to the drivers and trying to convince them to dislike este lmao.

Look at how their relationship went with every teammate they had so far. How they handled stressful situations. Pierre had 0 issues, even after they had a collision (silverstone e.g with yuki). Esteban...well! Cant say the same.

To me this is what shows what kind of a person they are. Not what they told the press in 2017 or 2018 (pierre didnt say anything "mean" abt him since then, i'm not even sure he talked about este at all until the alpine contract).

See here’s the thing — everybody has different life experiences color their perspectives on everything so where you see Esteban’s silence as shadiness, my experiences would make me think the opposite.

Also, yeah, nobody knows the situation but when people still come to my anon box asking for my opinion then yes, that’s what I’m going to give. It’s an opinion and I have never said I’m to be believed or that I’m the authority.

Back to the personal experiences coloring perspective and opinions, I also know that Lance and Mick are good friends with Esteban so idk, I personally trust them to be decent judges of character but that’s just me. but also? i’m not a very popular person but that’s because i’m extremely introverted, anxious and autistic. i do not place much value on likability.

Likability ≠ Good character

Also c’mon, Esteban’s last teammate was Fernando Alonso. I don’t think that’s a fair comparison lmao.

So yeah, I mean. Here’s the thing, what you think of Pierre and Esteban (or really any driver) is colored by YOUR thoughts and shapes by your lived experiences. Every person has different things they place value on and that’s okay! But definitely something to consider when you bust into somebody’s anon box.

Also, I’m not sure if I’ve ever said this but I am non-binary and I really don’t like being called girl or anything similar so if we could not, i’d appreciate it

[itsaship-literally]

Yk I actually feel stupid rn like I realize I have two friends who are into beetlejuice but I keep the ship to myself cuz I dont even have to ask to know they consider it pedophilic or simply platonic but idkk it feels bad fangirling about the same things but keeping one of the best parts of it away from them I’m not sure if I’m making any sense but I realize how much of this whole beetlebabes obsession I’ve been doing alone, when I’m used to talking abt it with my friends it feels bad but jsjdjdj sorry I just wanted to know if it’s just me but. Yeah. Not saying I wanna stop liking it by any means but if I liked it less maybe it would be easier being the only person I know in real life who likes this ship as well? But it’s difficult

It's so sad that fandom can split friends these days. Honestly, it says a lot about what people find important. Fandom shipping really shouldn't be a factor. Let me tell you a quick story about how fandom affects my friendship. My best friend and I are into another cartoon fandom. He ships canon and I have a preference for the BFF's who both spend the entirety of canon simping after characters who are obliviously annoying. I love that comradery between the two friends who are constantly trying to support each other in heartbreak. My friend has a total right to ship the canon. I have the right to break the canon ship up and let the sappy romantics fall into each other's pathetically hopeless arms. Both of us also have a right to lovingly give each other shit about it. And we do. We have whole ship wars on Twitter and in real life. We also have a bond that means that we can razz the fuck out of each other. Call names and at the end of the day, he is still my best friend.

Some may even find us shippable.... and I would say heeeeeellllll nah. I love him.. but he is my bro and we argue over ships and canon all the time. That right there is real friendship. If I dumped his ass over a cartoon what would that say about me? Or him?

Petty and trivial. Lack of trust? He wouldn't know me and I wouldn't know him. If your friends see you as a problem for a cartoon/movie/musical, then there is something deeper going on. Disclaimer here; I am not a therapist. I am not a relationship coach. But I am a mother, a wife, a friend, and a big sister to 7 younger buttheads who I adore with the loyalty of a rabid monster. I have many relationships in my life and if any of those relationships end, it's not due to fandom. However, I have lost fandoms over heartaches. That could be the real danger here. The fandom you love may only be here a short time but linking a friendship to a fandom is dangerous. If the friendship fails, it may be difficult to enjoy the shows you once associated with them. My best advice is to continue what you love. The people who care about YOU are the most important and if a stupid thing like a shipping war destroys that, then the friendship was not strong to begin with. Now, this goes for my Babes here too, who I know are brilliant and wouldn't do this anyway... I hope. Don't drop people because they like BeetleTina, Deetzlands, Goldenrat/Beetlands or even Lydia/Oc & Bj/oc. These trivial ship wars are not important in the real world. It's not worth breaking your heart or your friends' hearts over something like fandom. Keep your heart safe. Talk to your family and your friends. And finally, remember that fandom is just an extra fun time and not something to be ashamed of or feared. Ok, Lecture mode is over. Have a good weekend Anon. Keep happy and keep thriving on your joys.

[furibond]

ok imunna air out the rest of my marineford frustrations cause externalizing stuff helps me let go of it, under readmore for convenience

ok so part of my frustration comes from being spoiled - if you know from the start that the pirates will fail, watching all these cool new pirates struggle against smarmy marine assholes knowing the assholes will come out on top doesnt feel fun, while i imagine the intended experience is for the viewer to be rooting for the pirates expecting them to win, and then be shocked and grief-struck when ace dies.

some of my other grievances are legitimate, though!

1st problem is this arc is too focused on new characters. we already lost the strawhats at sabaody, but in impel down the focus was consistently on luffy, with a rotating cast of familiar faces joining him and only 3 new allies introduced. marineford is a constant parade of new faces, some of the main emotional beats of the arc hang on those new faces, and sometimes it does not work at all. like, oars jr, sure, the flashback with the hat was cute enough and the animation and voice acting compelling enough that yeah, you feel for the guy when he nearly reaches ace then drops not-dead. squard, though? i dont feel shocked by his betrayal, cause i dont know him and he shows up outta nowhere with a spider on his face and a shirohige-sized sword. i dont feel moved by shirohige's forgiveness and his repentance, cause i barely know shirohige at this point and squard's little flashback after his betrayal wasnt enough to make him endearing. theres a stretch of episodes after the tsunamis freeze where luffy doesnt show up at all and it is Such a breath of fresh air when the impel down ship drops down in the middle of the battle cause why should i care abt this war otherwise?

also maybe it's just cause i'm bad at strategy but the battle makes so little sense to me? like it seems pretty clear that shirohige could destroy like all the marine small fry and the 3 admirals could destroy all the pirate small fry, but after their big opening moves of the twin tsunamis getting frozen by aokiji, they p much just sit back and watch for a huge chunk of the arc? like yeah having all the small fry wiped out early on would be lame, but u could have the admirals engage shirohige and the division commanders and then shift the narrative focus to the smaller battles, so i dont have to wonder why all the big names arent doing shit. the shichibukai get a pass cause it's been long established that they barely listen to the marines and it was an ordeal just to get them to show up, but everyone else confuses me

finally, ace's stupid death, copied from a chat:

alright so i knew from tumblr and fanfic that ace was gonna die saving luffy from akainu. alright, sounds angsty, i can get behind this. somehow nobody ever mentions that the reason akainu had such an easy shot at luffy was BECAUSE ACE STOPPED TO ARGUE WITH HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR ESCAPE CAUSE HE WAS TALKING SHIT

like your father is literally sacrificing his life back there so that you and your fam can escape with your lives and you gotta "defend his honour" by throwing your life away fighting some shitty marine instead of honoring his sacrifice by getting the hell outta dodge??

and additionally the mechanics of his death r so dumb??? he dies because magma burns hotter than fire? no it fucking doesn't?? in what world???? so the guy made of literal fucking fire dies cause the hot rocks were too hot and burned the fire? i.

aight thats it thats all i had to rant about, now i feel better

[kazumasougi]

ranting abt some problems i had with gowr in a needlessly long format below. warning for major gow2018 end-of spoilers below as well

i think like the biggest problem with gowr is like. they spent so much time trying to add new shit that they fell flat on delivering their most prominent plot point. which is deeply deeply upsetting to me honestly. like the entire plot of god of war is that atreus wants to start a war (bring on ragnarok) and he starts recruiting people to help him fight it. while kratos is like you dont know what it means to start a war (coming from the . god of war. lol). all the while atreus is unaware that the jotunheim prophecy states kratos is going to die while atreus takes odin’s side. and like this is an excellent setup because it gives you a conflict and potential consequences. and constantly the buildup is kratos and mimir talking about how he is going to die and how kratos doesnt want to have any regrets so he sets atreus on a good path forward while atreus finds out in another way that kratos will die. the entirety of that culminates in kratos and atreus agreeing that they will forge their own path forward. which is a lovely sentiment

however throughout the game it kind of feels like an empty promise. to be completely honest. like there is not a single point in the game where it feels like kratos’ life is genuinely being threatened. there is no singular event that says “This is the part where he’s supposed to die”, nor is there any follow-through on HOW exactly atreus and kratos avoid their own fate. like. the buildup is completely for nothing. granted there is a point where atreus works under odin and is so convinced that hes maybe doing the right thing and that odin isnt so bad. which is where you would expect the story to go narratively. but the other half of the prophecy is so fully ignored that it feels like all of it was honestly for nothing

not to mention like the game generally just feels… rushed??? like the parts of the story where youre attempting to recruit people to help you doesnt feel very complete. ESPECIALLY when you have to go to surtr to ask him to become ragnarok. like the myth is he and sinmara combine to become ragnarok. reasonably surtr does not want this because that is his wife and they forced themselves to be in separate realms for the sake of not creating Big Scary Monster. and it would inevitably end in both of their deaths. and if i recall correctly in the files of the game there is an unfinished sinmara model so they mustve originally intended for her to be in the game as part of atreus’ quest. but what actually happens is surtr is like “oh your blades are made of primordial fire just stab me with them and ragnarok is good to go without needing my wife” (?????????? YOU ARE IN THE. PLANE OF PRIMORDIAL FIRE. THAT IS WHAT MUSPELHEIM IS. IF THAT MADE SENSE THIS WOULDVE ALREADY TRIGGERED RAGNAROK ANYWAYwhatever who cares) and then he becomes ragnarok without his wife. alright sure. what the fuck. you do not ever visit sinmara until you go to niflheim and you hear crying from some arbitrary direction because she does not have a character model. you just hear her sobbing. its sad but like ok.

but the worst part of this is like Ragnarok shows up at the war on asgard and he is the fucking opposite of helpful. like he is destroying everything of atreus’ forces, which already are so few, and ends up killing one of the more well-developed characters in a twist that does like zero justice to him and anyone. now this isnt me saying freyr shouldnt have died bc this is what happens in the myth. its right for him to. but it was executed SO poorly it hardly left any impact at all. like why bother with the ragnarok plotline if theres no followthrough whatsoever… you dont even see freya mourn the loss of her brother, who we saw was like. incredibly important to her throughout the game

and i think ragnarok’s biggest problem is that while it was clearly made with so much love and care for both mythology and alternative storytelling, it seems like they wanted to focus on. More more more. more mechanics more menus more shitty uis that are genuinely HARDER to navigate than 2018. what the fuck is with the 20 complicated skill trees. it did not need that many moves like whatsoever. i dont even use like 70% of them because they arent practical to use in combat anyway. they changed the way armor works with the fucking. yggdrasil amulet??? what is that. it took several days to figure out what the menuing even was because they made it so much more confusing for no reason. why are there different skill trees for different companions that you have for five minutes total in the game. there was no reason for that. and like it was awesome seeing atreus have a specific skillset for when you play as him as well as his own rage meter but he doesnt use any of these skills when hes kratos’ companion so like…????? what was the point of upgrading him for like 3 short sections of the game

i also fucking hate the use of sigil arrows theyre stupidly finicky and near useless in combat. sorry. force arrows feel like a cheap rebrand of light arrows from 2018 and thats FINE, but i think they shouldve just kept light and shock arrows. the mechanics for the new ones are absolutely awful i did not like them at all. sometimes you know exactly how to solve a puzzle with atreus’ (or freya’s) arrows but you cant get the placement of them right because the way sigil arrows work is ridiculously unclear with its current visuals. i hated using them and i hated trying to play out the puzzles for the nornir chests because the mechanics are straight up bad.

additionally they introduced the spear weapon because you need it to defeat one enemy. now listen i liked the storyline behind this one a lot. some good cutscenes with that one. I HATE USING IT THOUGH… I guess they were like “we need a weapon thats specifically for the ranged combat playstyle!!” which i can understand but isnt that the entire fucking point of having the axe. like. with the recall. the draupnir spear feels unbelievably lacking as one of the main weapons you can have and if im honest IT MAKES SWITCHING WEAPONS UNBEARABLE DUDE. the response time to trying to change weapons has a delay so if you try changing to another one mid combat sometimes it straight up ignores you. which makes fights with enemies that require being hit by different certain weapons all the more annoying. additionally it takes up the same button as bare-handed/shield attacks so its fucking impossible to go barehanded mid combat when you actually need it (which, admittedly, is not as necessary if you dont care about stun or knockback. but i *do* so like…) also it doesnt really do much damage it just does stun. again a fun weapon for people who want to do stun damage long ranged but that kind of defeats the purpose of being able to go barehanded.

also i think the addition of 20 differwnt shields is deeply unnecessary and while i liked the stone wall shield (what a name 💀) the reason kratos uses the one he has at default is like. “it was a gift from my wife!!” which is sweet. and then theyre like “um no actually kratos you can use some of ours because yours broke” (it makes no fucking sense that his shield broke. what do you mean it Broke. you used it for all of 2018) like i definitely enjoyed them more than i enjoyed using the spear but. they didnt need to add so many. they just didnt.

and then they added more types of rage too. and im like jesus christ ENOUGH with the options ??? please???? i dont want this many. they also made the selections of armor deeply underwhelming and i didnt feel satisfied with using any of them other than like. sols spaulders. which didnt even matter because they nerfed the fuck out of every enemy and boss in this game that was actually supposed to be hard. the spiritual successor to sigrun, gna, was like. nothing. it was nothing im sorry that shit was leagues easier than battling sigrun on the same difficulty. and then they introduced the berserkers which is like. ok. the same shit 20 times in a row. whereas you could tell each of the valkyries had their own distinct fighting style, the berserkers are just like. fight this guy! now fight him again. now fight two of them at the same time. i never even killed king hrolf because i didnt give enough of a fuck to continue and i LOVE 100%ing a good challenge. its bad game design its like they just took one of the base berserkers and gave him a substantially longer health bar. maybe this is supposed to be a callback to the travelers from 2018 but those werent made as full bossfights. nor were they interesting enough to be such. comparatively the draugr holes (…) were ok i guess. like they were fine. theyre short challenges that you can very easily encounter way way WAY too soon in your playthrough though

whats more is for gowr it introduces realms that you knew of in 2018 but never got to visit. and they were mostly executed beautifully like i adored seeing all of svartalfheim and i really liked seeing the fimbulwintr versions of realms they let you visit originally, like how niflheim is no longer some fucked up foggy area from ivaldis workshop and how midgard is all snow and ice. but again whenever i visited these areas for optional quests it just felt like More More More…

idk i did very much enjoy playing ragnarok but some aspects of it were just. i didnt like them. and it took up time and effort that probably would have been better spent developing the story further. meeting sinmara was definitely needed to compliment the story arc about atreus acting reckless about the war and its really disappointing that you dont get to. i kind of wish they let this one cook for an extra year or two

[iero]

okay i dont want this to come across as pretentious or anything but what abt the ending of saltburn is disturbing ?? i mainly watch horror and thriller movies so my view on media being ''disturbing'' or not is pretty skewed and whilst yes i understand that certain scenes like the bathtub and grave scenes might make ppl uncomfortable or disturb them, the ending was really tame imo. like so tame i wouldn't have even considered it to be disturbing if it wasn't for so many ppl online saying it is. i'm really trying to rack my brain. is it the murders ?? the naked dancing ?? the reveal that oliver planned (most of) it from the very start ?? the reveal that the main protagonist isn't a good person ?? to me these all seem like very normal plot points even outside of horror/thriller movies - i've def seen these plots being used in non-horror/thriller drama tv shows before - so i'm confused as to why anyone would find the ending disturbing (thanks in advance if u answer this <3)

Hey! Great question! I don't think you come off as pretentious! As someone who also watches a lot of, like, horror and psychological thrillers sometimes, I get it! I think one of the reasons I did actually watch it was because I saw everyone talk about it and I was like, "Okay, I need to see what all the commotion is about. I need to see if this is as disturbing as people say it is." and for me? It wasn't nearly as. I do say it's not for the faint of heart though.

I think what makes the ending so disturbing is really dependent on who you ask! I think it could be a lot of things. Like, literally all the things you said about the ending could cumulate to what makes the movie so out there for some. For me, it's like... It's really crazy that I personally think Oliver wanted that love and (mostly) attention to the point he went to those lengths to get it. It's like a main character syndrome. Like, it's really crazy to me to see people who have watched this movie sympathize with his character, but I think putting him as the main character was brilliant in that regard, you know? You usually root for the overall main character and to root for someone who is a pathological liar and reveals himself to be pretty evil in the end was kinda out there. That's how I personally could answer your overall question.

Sidenote as well, but I don't consider this movie to be a 10/10 though. Like, I thought it was good, but some points of it I found lacking or just plain dumb. Firstly, the montage at the end where it was spelled out that yes, he was the one who blew out Felix's tire, yes he poisoned his drink and essentially killed him, yes he stuck the razor blades right besides Venetia's bathtub, etc. Did that needed to be spelled out for everybody? It was predictable at a certain point to me way before the end that "Oh yeah, he's the one who did all this." and I don't care for predictability in a movie/TV show/etc. I like the element of surprise.

Another big thing that kinda sucked to me before I let you go is that after the first one or two scenes that were meant to make the viewers uncomfortable, I felt it was a film that was relying on shock value a little too much. After the "vampire scene," in the back of my mind, I was like, "Okay, we get it." Especially if you're me or you and you're not someone who is grossed out very easily for whatever reason, it just almost seemed dull at points. I almost went this whole movie with a straight face, even though the part at the very end where he takes out Elspeth's breathing tube/life support and just yanks it out from her throat made my jaw drop and got an eyebrow raise from me. I knew it was gonna happen in the back of my mind, but him just straight up pulling it out of her throat himself had me like, "Well, shit..." It was a bit unexpected to me.

But, that's it. Sorry for the novel length answer. You didn't ask for a movie review from me, but I thought I would share my thoughts on it! Thank you for the thought provoking question anon!