#and editing

[misshollowayss]

crawls out of the depths of hell,,,,,,,,,,,, i need lucy grizzwald content STAT i will make some MYSELF if i need to

[lizmindpalace]

40 days

The house had gone quiet after a book had been slammed shut with such a force the sound had leaked through the closed door and reached out their ears as a threat, the low groan that followed startled them as though a lightning had struck their chests. In silent agreement the inhabitants of the gloomy manor tiptoed upstairs towards the room where the muffled screams were coming from.

"I am aware of the fact I must do as you say, however on this occasion my final answer is a no". 

A deep sigh was audible, and the eavesdroppers could picture the eyes rolling that accompanied such sound. 

"Lucifer..." the always friendly yet commanding voice uttered with a slight hue of a plead. "I have no option here, refusing it could lead us to another war, you know. And that's not good for anyone, it won't change anything, it's just a protocol... he promised". 

"I know better than trusting father's promises", as usual, the words were expressed with resent, however, this time, pain could also be perceived in his voice. 

Silence followed to such statement, they were surprised father was mentioned, and they knew that name could only mean trouble, the curiosity they had been feeling was slowly replaced with the growing concern encroaching their hearts, they held their breaths for some minutes waiting for the conversation to continue.

"You have to do it, Lucifer, I wish I could do something in order to prevent that from happening because I know how much pain it brings to you, but as the next in line for the Devildom's throne I seek for peace between your father and us". 

Another sigh, one that made the ones listening on the other side of the door feel sorrow. 

"Tempting this new favourite human of his to prove if he'll remain loyal after he makes him go through more suffering than his body and heart can bare sounds souless"

"I have to agree, especially since he claims he's his son, the best one, but I don't have any right to interfere". 

"He hasn't changed one bit, and I still don't understand what he wants from us... I used to be his favourite too at some point,  he punished me and my brothers for my lack of obeying due to unfair matters, now he's repeating his actions, maybe he's afraid he'll turn his back at him as I did when he finds out he only cares about power, for his own good I hope he's able to thrive".

"Even if he does..." Diavolo muttered, and then stopped himself.

"Even if he does? What's that supposed to mean?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow, fearing about that man's fate. 

"I've heard he's been condemned ever since he was born, he's had plans about his death, which are not pleasant by the way". 

Everyone including Lucifer felt a shiver running down their spines. 

"There must be another option".

"You know your father better than I do. You have to leave tomorrow and take water with you because these thirty days in the desert will be tough, that guy will be put on a test, and he'll be fastening for the thirty days, at least you won't have to do through that, come to my office tomorrow, I'll hand you the instructions given by the Celestial Realm".

Everyone was in shock after hearing those sentences and five out of the six demons listening, trembled, as they remembered the pain and suffering, they had been forced to face and feared for the fate of the man Diavolo and Lucifer were talking about. They looked at each other, sharing their sorrow, except for Satan who seemed oblivious to it, as he knew the story but had not witnessed it completely. Heavy steps reached the door and it soon opened without notice, the sorrow was replaced by surprise, the now uncovered six demons ran towards their rooms and Diavolo chuckled at the sight, it had not annoyed him, he always found the demon brothers' shenanigans hilarious.

"So... Lucifer has to tempt this guy" Leviathan summarised while his body trembled... "Because father wants to prove if he'll stay by his side even if he tortures him?"

"And Lucifer will have to do the dirty work? How's that fair? Everyone will think he's all evil" Asmodeus stated with a concerned look on his face. 

"He's not though?" Satan frowned; he had been trying to retrieve his memories from the celestial war, he had been able to see a bit through Lucifer's eyes, but it was like a blurred picture, where everything he was able to distinguish was blood, "He's a sadist, that's what he does". 

"It'll be humiliating for him". Beelzebub sighed and left the rice he was having aside. "Having to fulfill father's orders after being treated the way he was treated and having to pretend everything that's happening it's because of him... that's sad". 

The six of them remained silent and thinking and left early to bed, Lucifer didn't leave his office for the rest of the day, and they knew probably they'd find a brief explanation letter about his absence the next morning. 

No demon in the House of Lamentation was able to sleep that night, all of them remained quiet within their bedrooms as they were too concerned and didn't want to create additional trouble for their eldest brother, except for Lucifer's archenemy who left the house without being noticed and way earlier than the eldest.

"It has to be him?" 

Diavolo nodded, but Satan could see the lack of confidence in his eyes, something that was not usual. 

"It's not stated in the instructions, but Michael said it had to be him". 

Satan took the sheets of expensive paper covered with golden letters that resumed everything  Lucifer had to do.

"Let me do it, as long as his name is not in the contract it doesn't matter", Diavolo knew Satan had acquired vast knowledge due to the time he spent in the library, and while it was a risky decision, yet Satan was willing to help and it would save Lucifer from the humiliation, so he nodded, "leave before your brother finds out". 

It took Satan two days in order to get to the dessert where the appointment was, he knew by then Lucifer was far behind, when he arrived he wrapped himself in a black sheet that covered him from head to toes just leaving his green eyes at sight. He noticed a young man on his knees praying by a huge rock. Satan intentions were not following the instructions as they had been told because while he still hold some kind of resent against Lucifer and he loved to annoy him, he didn't appreciate the Celestial Realm meddling in their affairs, they had been kicked out of it, now why they should obey them? It definitely had nothing to do with the fact he didn't want Lucifer to be humiliated by his father again. 

Satan took a second but finally walked towards him. 

"So, are you the son of God?" he asked casually, feeling the awkwardness of the situation raising, he could see the other man was nervous and scared, he didn't even dare to look at Satan directly in the eye as he continued praying in silence with his eyes closed, Satan sighed and cleared his throat, he didn't like to be ignored. 

"Go away creature of darkness, no matter what you say I won't not listen to your evil words". 

Satan sighed and sat by his side, surprisingly he didn't feel anger, even considering he was the avatar of wrath. Seeing that man in such condition made him feel bad. He was nervous, scared and he could see the uncertainty in his face, he was holding on the hope his father would come and rescue him at the very last moment, and he felt sadness knowing what the plans for him were.

"He'll forsake you, you know". He muttered as someone else's memory crossed his mind and his body... a memory of distress and abandonment, it overwhelmed him at a degree he didn't expect until he found a tear rolling down his cheek that he had to cover, he was supposed to be all evil and yet he was now crying because of a stolen memory from Lucifer. 

"He won't" the other stated with a trembling voice, he was determined and had hope. Hope was a good thing, he decided no one should be deprived from such sentiment, so Satan just sighed and took the book he had been carrying while the other man kept praying for a couple of hours, after all, even if it was a bit boring, he had asked Diavolo to allow him to go and now he had to at least remain there. 

"Do you want some?" It had been hours and Satan was getting rather peckish, he had been prepared for the trip and so, he offered the other man a bit of his beloved apple pie he had taken with him.

"I will not fall into temptation, you demon". Satan frowned and wondered what fastening had to do with anything, he looked tired and hungry. 

He shrugged and started eating, since he could not bear it anymore.

"You know, it's very good you're not a cat or you'd very soon be having issues with your liver".

The man looked at him, frowning. 

"What's... what's a liver?"

Satan frowned, then he remembered humans were still way behind when it came to science.

"It makes your body works" he explained. "Anyways, do you know cats can only survive a week without food? Still, it's very dangerous because their health condition could be severely damaged". 

"I had no idea" the man responded, it was a bit odd a demon was talking to him about cats. 

"How's that possible? Are there not cats in your hometown?"

"There are but I have never paid attention to them."

Satan took a hand to his chest and her mouth dropped wide. 

"How's that even possible! Cats are beautiful creatures and fascinating, you know they can fall and always land on their feet without suffering any kind of damage, that's quite fascinating"

The interest of the man grew as Satan talked about cats in such a way, he was surprised, and for a considerable amount of time, he forgot it was a demon, and by the time the night fell upon them, he had to accept he was making his staying in that desert more bearable. 

"And where's this book conference being held, Diavolo?" Lucifer frowned in suspicion as he crossed his arms over his chest, it had been a month or more since last time Satan had departed, Diavolo had said he had sent him to a book conference because he knew he'd enjoy it, it was only a coincidence the Celestial Realm didn't longer needed Lucifer to go to tempt that poor man, of course. 

"In the East" he shrugged, "don't worry the event will end soon". 

Lucifer didn't have too much of an option but to wait, he had a lot of work to get done so he committed himself to it, a letter buried in his previous paperwork then appeared in his desk. 

It's been forty days, the temptation was supposed to last only thirty, go and pick up your young brother.

- Michael. 

Lucifer rolled his eyes but forced Diavolo to disclose the location of Satan, and he picked him up, he saw how the human and his brother exchanged a hug while Satan wished him good luck and the man walked away while the demon looked at him with a saddened expression as he knew what future held for him, he thought he was a nice man and he was also smart even accounting to the fact humans had not discovered anything about their world yet... and by the end his new acquaintance was now also a cat lover due to the information he had shared with him, yet he could feel the pain of everything that was going to happen, he could perceive the same kind of pain Lucifer had once felt... The eldest frowned and Satan gasped as he saw Lucifer, no words were needed, they both began their way home.

"You didn't have to do this". Lucifer spoke in a low voice, always looking at the path that would lead them to the door to the Devildom.

"I did it because I wanted, not because of you". Satan lied.

Lucifer nodded and once they reached out the Devildom he smiled at him.

"Thank you". 

[seriously-nobody]

Forgot to show up close of the mug

The purple/blue glaze on it is beautiful

O wait what's that in my-

Alistair what r u doing in my coffee mug?! Back to the green pit with u! *flicks him*

[tiger-moran]

I wrote more Moriarty/Moran smut

[steddilly]

Shit is happening today. I’m feeling motivated and hydrated and focused and I will finish this fic I’ve been sitting on goddammit. I’ve had a 6k google doc sitting there for months and I’m fucking finishing the last chapter today, I’m sick of feeling anxious about it.

[theroyalspamspace]

me still waiting for someone to make a gift set of all the iconic British royal waves, I mean just think about the potential, from possibly Queen Alexandra to one of the present kiddos-

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

Fuck moon’s taking poison damage

[lennyjamin]

spoke deeply to me.

[coolerhope]

funniest fucking thing

[ninjasmudge]

worlds slowest fanfic author tries really really hard

[vimbry-moved]

[heartbreakincident]

nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.

[wacklemons]

lets scream with mama

TERFS STOP INTERACTING WITH THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DONT RESPECT TRANS WOMEN GET OFF MY BLOG!!!!!! PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!

[teaboot]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[fivendandelions]

We finish this together.