#and el deserves so much better how do people not see that

[findafight]

Wait. Wait. Kinda part 2 to this post. For the angst of it all. Cw: implied and assumed homophobia

Because sure, after that dinner Joyce relents in not being, y'know, openly confused or frustrated with Steve being around. El obviously adores him and Jim is always glad when he comes around. Joyce can put up with Steve for them. But she's a stubborn woman, and somewhere in her mind, Steve is a Bad Egg. So she's still not 100% on board.

All this rears its head one night after a lot of their world saving group has had a movie night and ended up in a puddle on the floor. Steve is squished between Robin and Eddie, snuggled up all cozy. Joyce sees this when she quietly pads out of her bedroom to just. Check on the kids.

Eddie and Steve are sat up, Robin's face pressed against his hip. They're whispering something, heads leaned close. And they lean in further, silhouetted by the moonlight filtering in, and kiss. It's pretty chaste, though not a peck.

Joyce's blood boils. Steve has a girlfriend, he should not be going around kissing his friends like that, stringing them all along. She feels strangely vindicated, that her assumptions about Steve were right, that he wasn't actually a good guy or had changed at all. She almost yells at him then and there, but holds off. No need to wake everyone up. She can lecture him in the morning.

Once everyone is fed and lounging in the late morning, she pulls Steve out onto the porch.

"I saw you kiss Eddie last night" she says, without preamble. "And I cannot believe you would think behaviour like that is acceptable in my house."

Steve blinks, clenches his jaw. "Jo--Mrs Byers. I--"

"I don't want any of your excuses! It's despicable what you're doing, and I won't have it. For whatever reason, those kids look up to you. What kind of example are you setting for them? For El?" Steve's eyes widen, and if Joyce hadn't been so caught up with her anger she probably would have seen that instead of being ashamed or embarrassed, Steve is scared. "She looks up to you so much, though I can't imagine why. You need to clean yourself up, Steve. For real this time. You can't go around doing whatever you want. It's disgusting and disrespectful. Did you even consider the people you'd hurt? How doing shit like that would affect the lives of people who care about you? They deserve better than that." She shakes her head. Arms crossed. Steve is tense in front of her, but he doesn't say anything. To her, that's as good as confession. "Everyone talks about how you've worked hard to improve yourself, become a better person. But after last night? I just don't believe it. No one who's really changed, really a good person, would do what you did." She sighs. "You should probably leave now."

Steve nods stiffly. "Right. I'll. Uh, I leave. Can you...please, don't tell anyone, ma'am. I'll Grab my bag and I'll get outta your hair, but don't tell. I'm so sorry. Please." She purses her lips. His girlfriend deserves to know, but Joyce has no clue who that is (it might be the Robin girl attached to his hip, but she has no way of knowing). She nods once. Steve's shoulders slump.

Stepping back into the house, Steve quickly and jerkily snags his backpack from the corner it was shoved into before leaning over to whisper something in Robin's ear. The girl nods, looking worried.

He doesn't look at Eddie.

For a while, her house is Steve-free. Joyce breathes easy, hoping their talk was a wake-up call for steve. He is painfully polite when they bump into each other, Robin usually by his side with a strained customer service smile. Small talk is non-existent.

But then Will starts getting quieter. Maybe avoiding her. Certainly does his best to be small and doesn't look in her eyes. She has no idea what's going on, and she's worried.

What if the Upside Down came back? What if there's something wrong with her boy? What if everything they've fought for and sacrificed didn't mean anything and it's never actually over?

She tries to talk to him, but he shrugs her off, says he's fine and not to worry about it. Assures her it is definitely not the Upside Down.

Finally, after two weeks of Will looking absolutely miserable when he talks to her, she gets Jonathan to try. Tension around the house is high, Steve is barely around and always skitters away when he sees her, and in combination with will, it's out everyone on edge.

She doesn't mean to eavesdrop. But she doesn't not mean to either. It's just that they're on the porch, and she was in the kitchen and heard something, and when she went to see, she heard them talking.

"it's not--i want to tell you but it's not my secret to tell."

Jonathan sighs. "Will. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong. Please. Talk to me. I'll love you no matter what, you know that."

Will heaves a breath. "I had a talk with Steve --" and oh, the rage in Joyce's chest when she hears that. What did he say to her boy?? "And...uhg. fuck. Okay, you have to swear, swear! You're not going to tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. If you figure it out, because I don't. It's not mine to tell."

"okay. I swear. I won't go spilling Steve's secrets."

"you have to mean it, Jonathan. It's dangerous!"

There's ruffling fabric. Jonathan's voice is softer. "I promise."

"Steve said he was telling me because he thought we might be...similar. In some ways. And he talked about who he's dating. And that Hopper and El and Robin and Eddie know. And that they're all safe. Y'know? Like you are."

"okay..."

"and I said you were, and he said that was really good, and then emphasized that if I ever wanted like, and actual grown up to talk to, not just another teenager, Hopper was safe. But. The way he said it made it seem like...I don't know, but something was off? And I asked him." There's a pause. "I asked him if Mom knew. And he said yes. But he hadn't... Before that, he hadn't said she was safe. Jonathan..."

Something...wasn't adding up. Joyce was trying to puzzle what she wouldn't be safe to talk to about. She'd been in the tunnels and Upside Down and through it all. Her children, and by extension the children that had helped save them, were always safe in her house. To come to her if they felt unsafe. Why Steve would tell her own son she wasn't --

Will continued. "Steve said that it'd probably be different because I'm her kid, y'know? She--she did all this stuff to get me back and to keep me safe and loves me. So she could. So she'd maybe change her mind. For me."

"Will..." Jonathan's voice sounds pained.

"but what if she's not? What if that's where it ends? Shell save me from a demogorgon but not love me for this. Steve's saved my friends half a dozen times, Jonathan! He got--he got tortured" that is not something Joyce knew. When the hell did that happen? "with Robin to protect Dustin and Erica, Billy beat him half to death when he stepped in to protect Lucas and Max! He's good! I'm not as close to him as the others but he still told me. He trusted me enough with a secret that I can't even say outloud about myself yet! And Mom still-" will hiccups, and Joyce wishes she knew what he was talking about. Wishes he was saying these things to her, so she could comfort him.

Heaving a breath, Will is quieter. "Steve's the reason no one's died. He's El's first brother. And she still called him disgusting for-- for kissing someone he loves."

Ice fills Joyce's veins, a heavy pit balls in her stomach. Because that's not--she didn't--it wasn't like that.

But Steve had begged her not to tell anyone. Had stood still and not tried to justify anything and called her ma'am when he asked her not to tell. Held himself still when she was around and bolted at the first possible opportunity, leaving disappointed people in his wake. Oh, shit. Oh, she's fucked up so badly. Hurt some kid because she was suspicious of him from over three years ago and assumed the worst. Instead of realizing that maybe the reason he and his girlfriend were keeping it quiet was because he didn't have a girlfriend at all, and that the boy he kissed that night was his boyfriend, she had just assumed he was cheating. And then she'd told him he was disappointing and disgusting and a bad influence on the kids. Even after, he still made sure Will knew there were safe people around, that he'd have someone to talk to. And all she'd done was make him scared of her.

"oh, buddy."

Will's voice is muffled, and Jonathan has probably pulled him into a hug. It cracks when he speaks. "how can she say that about Steve but still love me? When so much of this shit's been my fault?"

"none of this is your fault. Don't believe that, will. No one blames you or El for any of it. You know that, right?"

"okay..."

"it's true. And as for mom...I don't know." Jonathan huffs "I'm not sure. I'm sorry, buddy."

Joyce turns then, feeling sick. She shouldn't have eavesdropped on her children, but now she had she was going to make things right. Hopefully.

Ensure everyone, including Steve, knew she was safe.

Part 3

[latin5mamii]

Could you write something about Carlos being super cute and affectionate with you after a match, because after he saw you in the stands he started playing better and ended up winning the game (maybe even saying how much he loves you in the post match interview)?

Family - Carlos Alcaraz

Warnings:only cuteness like always

Summary: You're your boyfriend's lucky charm.

Genre: fluff, Carlos Alcaraz x reader

Author's note: girl i loved writing this!🎀

You should be on court watching your boyfriend play,but somehow you’re still doing your photoshoot for Vogue and you can’t turn them down of course. While you wait for them,you pick up your phone and watch the results of the live match on google. “Fuck,he’s losing” you whisper,wishing you were there to comfort him.

“Alcaraz lost the first set and it looks like he’s losing even the second.It looks bad for him and since it’s only a 3 sets ATP he can’t catch up on the game so easily.Wondering how he’ll do in wimbledon if he plays like this” Says the commenter, in fact he’s not playing well,he knows it and he can’t stand it. How could he let this man win over him?

“Carlos, tienes que concentrarte, intentar jugar mejor y pensar antes de actuar, ¿de acuerdo?” (Carlos you have to focus, try to play better and think before doing something, ok?)

Carlos nods at the words of his coach and comes back on court,hoping to not disappoint the people that he loves,especially his girlfriend.He’ used to win and accepting the fact that he could lose against someone who isn't even in the 10 top rank makes him so furious with himself.

Finally you get to the court and you start going towards the seat reserved for you in the front seats, next to Juanki and his team.Finally Juanki sees you and welcomes you next to him.

"No está jugando bien, ¿verdad?" (He's not playing good, isn't he?)You ask him, hoping for a good response. He shakes his head negatively, and you can't help but think about how bad he must be feeling, especially since you know how he can be so hard on himself. You can't help but support him through thick and thin.

He has now to serve,but all of a sudden he sees you in the crowd. You mime with your lips an "Te Amo" encouraging him with a smile, a comforting smile,hoping that this will help him.

“El esta loco por ti créeme.” (He's crazy for you, believe me)

Juanki says,you can’t help but smile at his words. You start to think how life would seem incomplete without him and on how you’ve been so lucky by founding him, someone who supports you and would always by your side.Sometimes you think you don’t even deserve his love, that he’s too much for you.Of course you support him in everything you can, but he just does it better; on how he holds you in his arms and tells you that everything’s okay.He is a cure for every ailment for you.

You don’t even realize that he has won the second set and he feels more energetic than ever.It feels like he’s playing for his life,and this is one of the things what made you fall in love:He never gives up,no matter what.

He finally wins the match and you’re waiting for him in the room next to the press room conference,with a big screen showing his interview.

“Carlos, we noticed that in the first set of the match you were distracted and really made some unforced mistakes. What do you think changed from the first set to the second and the third where you played so much better?” “Uhm, I would say that that’s because my girlfriend arrived during the second set and let’s say that she’s kinda my lucky charm.”

Everyone laughs at his words and you can’t help but smile and chuckle a bit.

“No seriously,I really do think that’s true;she’s the love of my life,and i could imagine starting a family with her.I just want to say that you’ll always need someone that stays with you no matter what,even if you’re a bit idiot like me”

The press conference ends and you’re on the verge of crying hearing the words that he spent on you.You knew that he loves you,but he’s just so sweet and pure,and you’re a bit emotional. You’re waiting for him in the same room as before,and as soon as he opens the door you can't help but to literally jump on him,with joy tears falling from your eyes.

“¿Por qué lloras amor?” (Why are you crying, love?)he asks, almost worried about you.

"Estoy tan feliz.Gracias por tus palabras sobre mí. Te amo mucho."

(I'm just so happy.Thank you for the words you spent about me.I love you so much)

“Esas palabras son simplemente verdad. Te amo más.”

(That words are just the truth.I love you more)

He says, whispering in your hear.

“De todos modos, hablando de formar una familia, ¿qué tal si empiezas una esta noche?”

(Anyways, talking about creating a family together, how about we start tonight?) "¿Por qué siempre tienes que arruinarlo todo?"

(Why do you always have to ruin everything?)

[ladykailitha]

The Harrington Pattern Part 6

Yay! Another History Nerd Steve!! And I got a shit ton of awesome writing done yesterday so I was able to catch up to omegaverse. But it's looking like this one will finish first. As I think I have one or two more chapters to go on this one (as in past my backlog not past this chapter specifically).

In this chapter we get Eddie being a good dad, Mike getting introspective and Will getting some perspective of his own. And a little bit of Eddie keeping Mike humble for funsies.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Eddie gathered Mike and El up and took them outside of Will’s hearing.

“Hey,” he said gently, “I’m not mad at you, okay? But I have to explain something to you both.”

Mike and El looked at each other in confusion. “About what?” El asked.

“About offering to help Will buy the staff,” Eddie said. “It showed that you are kind and generous people who only want to help their friend, but Will does not see it that way.”

“He doesn’t?” El asked.

“When you grow up poor,” Eddie said fiercely, “it is drilled into you that any help at all is charity and should be avoided at all cost.”

Mike and El looked at each other again, their confusion even greater than before.

“But why?” El asked.

“Because supposed ‘well meaning’ people,” Eddie put air quotes around well meaning, “think that when you are poor you don’t deserve good things and gifts like that always come with strings attached.”

“So Will thinks that if we help buy the staff we’re going to ask him to do something that he might not want to do but will feel he has to because we bought him the staff?” El asked in one great big rush.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Eddie said. “Do I think you’d hold it against him? No. But...”

“But when it’s all you know it’s hard to see there is a problem,” Mike muttered looking at his shoes, remembering what had happened only hours before.

Eddie’s expression softened. “The very like.” He gave them a group hug. “Besides Steve’s got it covered.”

Mike and El stepped back, confusion back on their faces.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “If the staff is still there on Saturday, Steve going to suddenly have ten extra dollars from Joyce that she gave him for Will’s meals that he didn’t end up spending because Will eats like a bird.”

El frowned. “But that would be a lie and friends don’t lie.”

Eddie shrugged. “Is it a lie or is it Steve stretching the truth a little to help a friend. After all your friends have lied for you. Lying to you to make you feel better is something that isn’t going to hurt anything in the long run.”

“I don’t understand,” El said, tilting her head.

“It’s like you could tell Mike he looks hideous in yellow,” Eddie pointed out. “But he wears it because it’s your favorite color. Him wearing yellow isn’t hurting anyone and it’s sweet he’s wearing it for you. So if he asked how the yellow hat looks on him you would say what? That it looks awful or that you love it because you understand the intentions behind it?”

El blinked. “You’re right. Thank you!”

Eddie smiled and began walking back to the table.

Mike started hurrying after him. “But I don’t look hideous in yellow, right? Right, Eddie?”

Eddie just kept walking with his smile turning into a feral grin.

****

Steve smiled at Eddie when he sat back down next to him. He bumped him with his shoulder. “If I’m the mom, you’re their dad.”

Eddie turned bright red and shoved his hair in front of his face. “Shut it.”

Steve bumped their shoulders together. “I think between the two of us we form one half-way decent parental figure.”

Eddie smiled that closed lipped dimpled smile that Steve loved so damn much and he couldn’t help but smile back.

Holy shit was this crush getting wildly out of hand. He just wanted kiss those dimples so, so much.

Across from them Mike raised an eyebrow. He looked between the two older boys and after a moment he made the connection. He thought about it for a moment and decided it wasn’t any of his business as long Steve didn’t take over their DnD time.

And considering how well Steve respected that time as friends with Eddie, he really didn’t think dating would change all that much. Just the level of PDA they would show would change.

Mike continued to watch them to see if they were a couple and hiding it or if they hadn’t gotten there yet.

His consensus? Hell if he knew, to be honest.

But better Eddie than Nancy at this point was all he was going to say on the matter.

They finally were all done with their food and they all split off again. He watched Steve and Eddie go off together and shook his head.

Will tilted his head. “What’s up?”

Mike knew what Will was. Had done for ages now. He just smiled at his best friend. “I haven’t held much stock in there being one person for you in all the world, but you know sometimes you see two people together and just think ‘yeah, I couldn’t see them with anyone else,’ you know?”

Will looked in the direction Steve and Eddie were walking away and nodded. “Yeah, I think I do.”

****

While there wasn’t much to do the kids still came home that night filled with tales of wonder and amazement.

But later that night Will came and knocked on Jonathan’s door.

Jonathan pulled off his headphones and motioned him in.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked as Will hesitantly stepped into the room.

Will sat gingerly on the bed. “How well do you know Steve?”

Jonathan sighed. “Probably not as well as I should. He was around in the outside of my circle and then we’d only really see each other when the world was ending. Why? What’s up?”

Will twisted his fingers nervously. “What would you say the possibility was of him liking guys?

That brought up Jonathan short. Sure there was a chance that Will was just projecting his hopes for Mike onto the older boy, but this was Will and his little brother was far too perceptive for his own good.

So he gave it some real thought. All the times he saw Steve in high school and around town. All the times they interacted to help save the world. And he was starting get a picture.

Jonathan shrugged. “I suppose it’s possible. It’s hard to tell admiring glances from signs of attraction.”

Will cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Would you say Max or Robin were pretty?” Jonathan asked scooting over on the bed to sit next to Will.

Will shrugged back. “I mean, I guess. My friends are attracted to them so they must be.”

“Right,” Jonathan agreed. “Is Mike good looking?”

Will snorted. “Not really, maybe when he’s gotten past the awkward giraffe stage. Steve though...” He ducked his head and blushed.

Jonathan laughed. “Fair enough. I’m not attracted to guys and even I know that Steve is hot.”

“So attraction is more than looks?” Will asked. “Like you can find someone of the opposite that you’re attracted to good looking, but you wouldn’t want to date them or have sex with them?”

Jonathan nodded. “So while it’s possible Steve could be attracted to guys, I really couldn’t be the judge of that. Why do you ask?”

“I think even Mike picked up on Steve and Eddie’s flirting today,” Will muttered.

Jonathan’s eyebrows really did shoot up on that one. If Mike picked up that Steve was flirting with Eddie...

But then again... actually.

“That makes more sense then you realize,” he told Will slowly.

Will straightened up. “What do you mean?” He was really getting tired of asking that phrase at the moment.

“Who would know more about what Steve’s flirting looks like from the outside,” Jonathan said, “then someone who witnessed it with his own sister.”

“Oh. Nancy. Yeah, you’re right that does make sense.” Will blinked away his confusion.

Jonathan smiled. “So did you get the answer you were looking for?”

Will thought for a moment. “I think so. I mean Robin and Eddie have come out to us, but Steve hasn’t.” He paused for a moment. “Though, I think that Steve may have hinted it to me earlier. I told him that I thought Eddie might like him back, but I don’t know if that was enough, you know? For him to come out, I mean.”

“It could be that Steve hasn’t figured it out fully himself,” Jonathan said with a huff of laughter. “Like he might know he has feelings for Eddie, but not what those feelings mean.”

Will nodded. “Thanks, Jonathan. I’ll let you get back to your music.”

“Oh shit!” Jonathan scrambled to stop the tape. He sighed when he realized it was near the end of it. He hit rewind and looked back at Will shaking his head fondly.

“I think you need to lay off the weed, dude,” Will said, getting to his feet.

“Never!” Jonathan shouted after him, but Will had already slammed the door behind him.

****

Mike was lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Unlike what he knew was happening in friends houses’, the near constant talking about how awesome their day was, Mike had made an excuse that he was just tired, that he did have fun and couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

In the dark comfort of his own room, he knew they weren’t lies. Not really. He was all three of those things, but he also had a lot on his mind.

Racism and homophobia. He remembered all the awful things he had thrown at Will. All the things he said to Lucas.

He knew his parents were conservative. Whatever the hell that really meant. But they weren’t bad people. His mom had never tried to tell him not to be friends with Lucas or that gay people were evil.

But all the little things were starting to add up. Gay men deserved to die because the disease didn’t affect anyone else and they just weren’t the effort.

But he thought about Will and Eddie. And yeah, maybe Steve, too. Did they really deserve to die just because of how they had sex? That didn’t sit well with Mike. It made his stomach turn uneasily.

Dustin had been right about the Vulcans, they were of different colors, too. So why couldn’t elves? Why were the Drow evil? Was that racism, too? Plus did it even matter?

Almost all the campaigns Mike had been in were what the game makers called home-brew.

Yes, they used the game as the framework, but then colored outside of the lines all the time.

After all, Vecna was just a lore character where only the dude’s hand and eye were left out in the world. But Eddie had taken that lore and turned it into an amazing story.

He got ready for bed and laid back down. He stared up at his ceiling again. He had been a bad friend for years. Ever since El came into their lives, she was his only focus. It was a god damn miracle that they hadn’t thrown him off before now.

There must be something that they still liked. He would just have to figure out what it was and lean into that.

And with that, Mike drifted off to sleep as tried to figure out ways to keep his friends.

****

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @customization @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @thespaceantwhowrites @paintgonewrong @mogami13 @beelze-the-bubkiss @croatoan-like-its-hot @retro-vagabond @sani-86 @pansexuality-activated @y4r3luv @dauntlessdiva @vampire-eddie-brain-rot

[tyttamarzh]

Missasinfonia, songs and QSMP…

Hello!! Well, since we all continue to miss Missa, I want to share a little thought.

I don't know if it has already been talked about here, but in the Hispanic fandom of Missa we have his songs very present and some people have not been able to avoid talking about how some of them adapt perfectly to the QSMP.

I want to talk about two in particular whose lyrics I think are perfect for describing Missa's relationship with his family.

The first one is called "Privilegios" (privileges) and I think it describe what Missa is currently going through with Philza. Well, it talks about the anxiety of feeling insufficient for the other and trying to improve but feeling afraid of moving forward (the young Missa from 2014 wrote very deep lyrics). I remember that in a stream he told us about how several of his songs came about and said that he wrote "Privilegios" thinking about us, the people who follow him, because he didn't feel enough for us and is why he always try to do things better. Either way, I think he's perfect for describe his situation with Phil.

The song:

Lyrics

Sometimes I forget my sorrows and things I should do Because ideas slip away, they do not allow us to see Well creating something new means forgetting I would like to be like before and go back to the past

I know how to write the word mature very well But my thoughts don't let me act I don't want to forget, I don't ask for your mercy Because honestly I can fix it.

Chorus I don't know what to do if you're not okay (you're okay!) I don't know whether to lie to me or throw myself at your feet I wonder if I can deserve you Because I didn't earn the privilege.

How can I destroy damn anxiety? If outside my mind is my reality It is not so easy to wish others ill. just so I can free myself

The second song I want to talk about is called "Tarde para el plan B" (Late for Plan B) and I think it could be a message from Missa to Chayanne, some of the things he mentions remind me of what Missa told him in that day of fishing before travel to Japan. He talks about how it's okay to fail and that he shouldn't be overwhelmed by his mistakes, and encourages him to keep going and get better. There is also a phrase that I like to think is very much theirs, since it infers that even if they are not together, he will always see him. Now every time I hear that song I think of them and I can't help it u.u (It's a song created 10 years ago, but I think it's fits perfectly).

The song:

Lyrics

Have you ever wondered… what could happen if after the years, you could come back to the past? Would you have the chance to see what is wrong the bad memories you would be able to erase.

Enjoy moments you didn't see coming feel from the beginning what you should feel but remorse can cut you and repenting would be the final act

Look for alternatives, see how to improve May you know how to handle your situations You don't always get a second chance. you must take advantage of what time gives you

If they give you their hand, don't take our foot don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning You don't run when you want to calm down do something your soul can bear

[PRE CHORUS] And it's not that it's bad, it could be worse. What doesn't kill you makes you better.

And listen to me, here I will be, watching your actions wherever you are.

sometimes the reasons chase me but they don't want to catch me Sometimes actions are what will count, but you won't count. I prove that what I say is true It's your problem if you don't want to change but honestly sometimes everyone can fail

In the hope that everything is fine There are ideas within your being that grow and create the bad decision than wanting to correct what has already happened

Do what you need to make you feel better. Defeat your demons, destroy that pain Errors exist to know what someone else could fall into

and it's not that it's bad, it could be worse What doesn't kill you makes you better

listen to me, I will be here watching your actions wherever you are

My favorite phrase from this song is: "don't ask for the moon when it's barely dawning" (I just like how deep it sounds xD)

And that's all for now, I've never created a post here, I hope it's okay. Thanks for reading my crazy thoughts. Greetings!!

[strangersteddierthings]

Bad News First, Eddie

Part One 🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇FInal Part

Whew! I don’t think I’ve written this much in such a short amount of time ever in my life. The boys deserve a soft ending, I think. Enjoy!

-

It goes like this. While Eddie's been lost in his own mind, his body was living. Sort of.

Top secret government assisted living, kinda living. For a secret government hospital one would think the place would be fancier or something but it's just a regular looking hospital.

Eddie's in therapy, both for his body and mind.

He learns that the voice he heard when Eleven helped pull him from the depths of his mind was Mike Wheeler of all people, and he sounds different because he's nineteen and in college. Mike mocks him on graduating before Eddie. He regrets it when Eddie gets him into a headlock.

-

He gets to meet Eleven, outside of his mind. And he starts calling her El. Part of him can't stop thinking about Eleven as the entity he thought was going to lead him to the great beyond.

She is just a person. Sorta.

Dustin had told him there was a girl with superpowers and Eddie is glad she's real. Not that he thought Dustin would lie about this (actually, he might have thought Dustin was lying just to give him some weird version of a pep talk. Everything said before going through Watergate was suspect if he's honest).

-

When he's finally well enough to be able to leave, Doctor Owens tells him their plan.

They're gonna convince Wayne to fly to Tennessee. Eddie, El, and Mike Wheeler are gonna be flown there, too. There's a place for them to stay, to meet up with his uncle in private.

They'll stay there a month. Doctor Owens knows a doctor who can do Eddie's final evaluations before he can really go home.

That's the real kicker.

Hawkins fucking sucks. Small town, narrow views, non-conformity gets you called a Freak in the same way his Dad used to call him a fag. Like he said, fucking sucks.

But it's also the sanctuary he escaped to when he was eleven years old. It's the place where his uncle built a home for him.

So, back to Hawkins first. He can always go somewhere else later. Maybe a coastal city. See the ocean.

-

Eddie hasn't been afraid of a reaction from his uncle since that day in the hospital parking lot after he caught Eddie making out with another guy. He's got that same fear inside now, though, knowing that when El opens that door, he'll see the family he feels like he abandoned. It's not fair to himself to think that, his therapist would say, but he's allowed to have crazy thoughts right now. He's come back from being (not)dead and gets to see Wayne again for the first time. Knowing his feelings are justified doesn't make them fade, though, so he's not surprised his voice shakes when the door finally opens. “Hey Uncle Wayne.”

Wayne takes less than two seconds to reach Eddie, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. “I love you so much, you little bastard. Don’t you ever, ever do this to me again.”

It's all Eddie can do to remain upright and hug him back, clinging to his shirt like he's eleven years old again.

-

Wayne gives him an overview of what he's missed after the Upside Down came into their world (he heard that part from El and Mike, against the better wishes of Doctor Owens). Learns that Wayne and Steve live in Steve's childhood home because his parents just gifted it to him, apparently. That Wayne is only part time at the plant now due to an accident he had, and how that sparked his current living conditions.

Learns that Steve and Wayne became close because, unbelievably, Steve Harrington goes to his grave in the cemetery and cleans off graffiti on the regular.

Eddie feels a little hot under the collar because his brain reminds him of a fact he’d heard once; that the author of Frankenstein lost her virginity on her mother’s grave and a little voice in the back of his head whispers that it'd be hot for him to do the same thing with Steve on his own grave.

He has to scamper to the bathroom to scold himself in the mirror because he cannot be having these kinds of thoughts about Steve while talking to his uncle!

-

Wayne asks him, the night before their flight, “what’s something you want to do, once everything is settled and life starts to feel normal again?”

“I wanna go on a vacation. Like, a real, bona fide, family vacation.”

“Where you wanna go?”

“Think I’d like to see the ocean.”

Wayne smiles softly. “Alright. When you feel ready for it, we’ll go.”

-

“Just give him a chance, Eddie,” Wayne says randomly, as they wait to board their flight to Indianapolis.

“Give him a chance? As if I’d waste it,” Eddie feels breathless at just the thought. It's certainly not helping that stupid crush he's been harboring for years, knowing how Steve’s been treating his uncle. It was one thing to watch Steve defend Jeff that one time in high school; it's an entirely different ball game knowing he's watched over his uncle with care and devotion for years. “He took care of you when I couldn’t. He cares. I don’t think there’s a chance I wouldn’t give him.”

“How long have you had a thing for Steve?”

Eddie's brain screeches to a halt because he was didn't think anything he'd just said would give him away. He can't even think of a reply good enough to throw his uncle off his trail. “That’s not- why would you think- when have I ever!?”

“You think I wouldn’t know this about you?” Wayne chuckles.

No. No, Eddie thinks, of course you could take one look at me and know. His uncle had been able to know everything about him so effortlessly. But Eddie doesn't have to answer, so he won't. “So, we’ll be living with Steve Harrington? Will he… be okay with me being there?”

“Yeah. Steve and I had each other when we needed it. Now I need you, so Steve won’t mind at all," Wayne sounds so sure, so convinced, that Eddie is too.

Eddie smiles, pulling a strand of his hair to hide his face behind as he imagines getting to eat at the same dinner table as Steve fucking Harrington. He doesn't even mind that Wayne gives him a look at says 'you are being so obvious right now' because he is. He knows he is. He's allowed to be. Wayne's not going to mock him for his crush.

-

On the drive from Indianapolis to Hawkins, Wayne tells him the lie he told Steve. Apparently, Steve thinks Eddie's dad is coming to stay for a while. The mere thought of that sets Eddie on edge, even though he knows Wyatt Munson's still in prison. Will be for a long time, with the list of shit they got him for.

They roll into Hawkins shortly after, and while Eddie may have not been in Hawkins the last five years, and he's willing to admit that things might have changed things up since they did have to rebuild a lot of the town, he's certain that Steve's house is on the other side of it. “This isn’t the way to the Harrington house."

“Steve won’t be there. He comes here when he’s overwhelmed," Wayne says. It's still pretty jarring to hear Wayne talk about Steve like this. Like he knows him. Which, he does, obviously, because they've gotten to know each other.

Still mind blowing to think about.

“The cemetery?” is what comes out of his mouth, though.

Wayne knows what's he's really meaning to ask, though, because he shrugs and says, “we both come talk to you. Steve always starts with the bad news, you know. I think you should start with good news. Just this once." The car is slowing down, and Wayne is pointing out the front windshield, to a figure crouched down near a lone headstone. "Ah. See, there he is.”

Steve. He's too far away for Eddie to be sure sure but if anyone is still wearing bright polo shirts tucked into light wash jeans this far after leaving high school, it'd be Steve Harrington. Eddie's not even sure the car is fully stopped when he all but falls out of it.

He doesn't run to greet Steve, because that's a bit dramatic, but he's not too proud to admit he might be power walking. He slows down when he gets closer, coming to a full stop just close enough to hear Steve talking to his grave. Talking to him.

"Bad news, Eds. I'm too much of a coward to meet your old man. Afraid of what he'll sound like. Because I want him to sound like you so fucking bad it hurts. So instead of being home, I'm hiding here."

"Well, I've some bad news for you, too, Stevie. I got my voice from my mom," Eddie says, and almost instantly cringes because Wayne literally just told him to start with good news and he didn't. Eddie doesn't have much time to soak in his embarrassment, though, because Steve whips around so fast that Eddie's dizzy from the movement.

Steve looks older but it's in the way people who have seen more than their fair share of Hell look older, and less about actual aging. His eyes are wide and stunned. Eddie watches as his jaw moves but no words come out. He looks like he's seen a ghost which... ok, that's fair.

"Umm," Eddie says, a little worried he's broken him when Steve doesn't even seem to be blinking as he stares at Eddie. "Good news, Steve. I, uh, I lived. Kinda. El kinda pulled me back to the surface of my mind, or whatever, and Owens did a good job at patchin' up the goods here," he gestures to his whole body with a sweeping motion of his hand and wishes that a gate to the Upside Down would open beneath his feet and suck him back to Hell because could he be any more embarrassing?

"A-are you," he watches as Steve swallows and takes a deep breath. He's still not sure Steve has blinked yet. "real?"

"Yeah," Eddie nods, taking a few steps closer, "yeah, I'm real. I'm here and alive and real."

Steve launches himself forward then, meeting him halfway. It's so goddamn surreal be witness to how tenderly Steve actually reaches out to him, though, such a contrast to the flurry of movement he'd been just a second ago. Eddie stays still as Steve lifts shaking hands to cup his face with, pushing against his cheeks as if to test whether or not Eddie is solid. Those hands slide down, along his neck, across his shoulders, down his arms where Steve seems to need to pause and collect himself again, hands wrapped loosely around his arms just below his elbows while Steve shuts his eyes and a low, broken sound pulls itself from his throat before his eyes open again, wet with tears, and he releases Eddie just long enough to throw his arms around his neck and pull him into a hug almost as crushing as the one he shared with his uncle.

It's overwhelming in this moment. To see how much he means to Steve and not fully understand how he came to mean anything to him at all.

Doesn't stop him from wrapping his own arms around Steve's waist, though.

-

It goes like this.

He gets his own room at Harrington's house. Wayne has his own room, too. How strange it is, to not have his uncle sleeping the day away on the couch because the trailer had one room and he'd given it to Eddie.

They adjust to living together so seamlessly. Like they were always meant to be family.

They have dinner together. Real homecooked meals. Which isn't a novelty for Wayne and Steve anymore, but Eddie's memory ends five years ago, when his dinners consisted of microwavable meals or left over snacks from lunch. Wayne cooks on the days when Steve works, and Eddie helps. Gets to be taught how to cook.

For a while, Eddie is afraid to leave the house. Even knowing that Jason Carver bit the dust the same day he was supposed to also doesn’t help. He only goes places with Wayne and Steve, and even then, the double takes people send his way are enough to make him want to shrink into himself.

However, no one says anything to him. He's vaguely aware that everyone here lived through some sort of miniature apocalypse and maybe that's the kind of thing that has to happen to make a small town in Indiana change.

-

He and Steve dance around each other. He can feel it. There is something here, between them, that neither fully acknowledges.

He tries to talk to Wayne about it, but he won't give him much to go on.

"I won't be the one to say anything about what Steve thinks of you. That's gotta come from Steve. I will say this. He's waiting for you to bring it up first."

"Why does it have to be me?"

"He's had five years to gather his thoughts and emotions," Wayne levels him with a Look, "you gotta have the time to figure yourself out, too."

Well, fuck.

-

Steve waits until it's almost summer break for the kids (they’re not really kids anymore, though, but Eddie’s adjusting to that still) to ask if he's ready to face them. "It'll be a lot to handle," Steve says as he sits next to Eddie on their couch (their couch. He can't believe that's a truth in his life right now). "Eleven and Mike haven't told anyone yet, but they want to. It wasn't just Wayne and I that grieved for you."

"I know," Eddie says, "I know. I'm good. I'm alive and here and I want them to know about it."

Steve nods slowly, not fully focused on Eddie. Eddie's come to know that means he's thinking, so Eddie waits for him to speak. "Would you prefer to meet with everyone... one at a time?"

"What's the other option?"

"Well, I always host a barbeque when they all come back. Could tell everyone all at once. Like ripping off a Band-Aid."

Eddie crooks a smile because he's a bit mischievous and his mind instantly plays a scene where he walks into a backyard full of all the people he's come to care for, and who care for him, and he's trying to best to be casual about it in this fantasy. "Yeah. Let's do the barbeque thing."

-

"Bad news, Stevie," Eddie whispers as he leans against the wall next his closed door, trying not to hyperventilate. "I don't know if I can do this."

Steve reaches out and takes one of Eddie's hands in his own, linking their fingers like it's a casual thing they do all the time when it's most certainly not. "Good news, Eds. You don't have to. We didn't tell anyone you're here. You can stay in your room until they're gone, and we'll figure out another way to tell them."

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and thinks he might be crushing all the bones in Steve's hand with how hard he's clenching it. "What if they're mad at me?"

Steve understands the real question Eddie is asking, the one he doesn't know how to phrase. "You were dead, Eds, and no one out in that yard is going to be 'mad' about any time they'd spent grieving over you. There's gonna be a lot of tears, man, like a lot. Maybe even some shouting. None of it done in anger."

"How're you sure?"

Steve lifts his unoccupied hand and cups Eddie's check. Steve’s eyes are watery and his voice is a bit choked, but he says, "because I was there. I saw them through their grief. Everyone in the backyard either loves you already, or they will."

It's so fucking intimate, how close they are, how tenderly Steve touches him. Wayne had said he'd need to take the first step, so he blames Wayne when he blurts out, "what about everyone in this room? They love me, too?"

Steve's eyes go wide in surprise before his whole face lights up in a way Eddie has never seen before. It makes Steve look younger, less haunted, and then Steve whispers, "of course I love you," like there is no other answer Steve could have given.

Eddie grabs a handful as Steve's polo shirt and pulls him close enough to kiss.

Butterflies and fireworks erupt within Eddie. Kissing Steve is so much better than he's ever let himself imagine. They're still holding hands and Steve's still got his other hand resting so softly on his cheek and Steve's lips are kinda chapped but fuck does the briefest touch of their lips together make Eddie lose all his breath.

It's not deep, or all consuming. There's not even an exchange of tongue. Steve kisses him softly, gently, pulls back to pepper little kisses all over Eddie's face that has him blushing more than he's ever done in his life, and Steve places one, two, three more kisses to his lips before pulling back to look at Eddie like he's the answer to every prayer Steve's ever had. It makes his knees weak.

"I think," Eddie pauses to lick his lips, "I think I'll be brave enough to do it if you're holding my hand."

"Just try and pry yourself away, Munson," Steve teases. "Whenever you're ready."

-

Steve was right about the tears and shouting. He was also right that no one is mad at him.

Dustin hugs him so hard they fall over in the yard and Eddie finds himself part of a dog pile that starts with crying that turns into laughter that leads back into crying, everyone grabbing at him and him grabbing back.

It's emotional. It's overwhelming. It's the best fucking day of Eddie Munson's life.

-

Doctor Owens reaches out towards the end of summer to let him know they're issuing him a new social security card. Eddie asks if he's allowed to change him name. Owens says yes.

-

"Bad news first, Eddie," Eddie says to himself as he kneels in front of his own headstone. "You've become so boring and normal, no one vandalizes your grave anymore. Good news, though. Means I can do it myself."

Before him is his headstone, a thick red line painted through his death date. Another more carefully applied line is struck through his middle name. Above it he's painted in block letters 'Wayne'.

"Eddie, come on! This road trip's gonna start without you," Steve calls from where he's leaning against the side of Wayne's pickup.

Eddie is satisfied with his work, so he abandons the paint and returns to the pickup. He slides across the bench seat, one leg pretzeled under himself to be out of the way of the gear shift. Steve follows in after, shutting the door and reaching for Eddie's hand automatically.

He's got Wayne to his left, Steve to his right, and the first family vacation he's ever taken in his life ahead of him.

Good news, Eddie Wayne Munson. Maybe everyday going forward can be the best fucking day of your life.

[aces-and-angels]

lunch break by the wonderfully talented @mimibayra (click for better quality)

hello friends✨

i am beyond honored to be sharing this amazing artwork i had done for @oh-so-youre-a-nerd and @saibug1022. elliott's done so many beautiful pieces for the windverse, it was about time i returned the favor🖤 mags is notorious for skipping meals, so to be sat down with wind over a basket of pastries is nothing short of a miracle 😂

this art was thanks to a donation i personally made to the following gfm campaign. i would like everyone to take the time to meet laila:

pictured above is laila and her four siblings; photo taken from laila's gfm page

(please read more below):

---

an excerpt from laila's campaign (organized by ahmed shaqqoura, laila's uncle; note this is only a portion of what is written and i strongly encourage you to read the whole passage)

---

from laila's tumblr @lailashaqoura:

a ss of one of laila's calligraphy pieces (full post here)

laila reached out to me three days ago (see here) asking to share her story with you all. her campaign has been vetted/verified by multiple sources that i've double checked:

source one // source two (laila's campaign is listed as #152 on the sheet made by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) to learn more on how to double check if campaigns have been vetted/verified: read here

since my initial post (6/7), laila's family has raised $1,839. those additional funds were made possible by people continuing to spread laila's message. to stand with palestinians is to see them for who they are. to read their stories and understand that they are more than the horrific conditions they have endured for years. they are mothers- fathers- brothers- sisters- and so much more. laila is one of many brilliant lights that deserves to continue to showcase her talents as an artist with the world. she deserves to live out her dreams- as well as the rest of her family

@/mimibayra is currently offering her time and talents to making art like this for anyone who donates to not only laila's campaign, but others she has mentioned on her donation commission sheet. feel free to reach out to her for any questions you may have!

another artist i want to highlight here is @palentonga who is also offering art for those able to donate. i know a few of my moots here are dnd fans- and she specializes in making portraits for dnd characters. it was actually through her account that i was able to find @/mimibayra in the first place. visit her 📌 for more info on her donation commissions

while it is heartbreaking to read the stories coming from palestine, it is also a privilege to know them. i may never get to meet laila and her family face to face- but i still feel connected to them in a way that i never thought to be possible. there is beauty in knowing that you can care so deeply- feel as strongly- about their cause. to quote @/fairuzfan (a palestinian blogger):

"there is still hope. say it out loud. palestine will be free. the palestinian people will celebrate their culture and heritage with each other. we will love and be loved. do not fall into the trap of despair." read full post here

for anyone who can, please consider matching my donation:

and if you can't donate, please share laila's story and continue to make space for her and her family in your heart. stay present and engaged for them and everyone else in palestine. listen to those who are sharing their lives and experiences so openly whilst facing tremendous suffering, not just here on tumblr, but on any platform you may have. it is never to late to stand with them. because we are not free until they are all free

if you made it this far, thanks for sticking around 🖤

[mixsethaddams]

Throwing my hat into the latest trend of Shovel Talk posts. tw reference to past child abuse (not detailed)

Eddie gets the shovel talk from no less than five people.

Dustin, Robin, Erica, Max and Lucas. (Those two came as a pair, as they so often did since the Vecnapocolypse) Actually, technically six, if you count the fact that Dustin kept saying And Will Said...

They all say in and around the same thing. Steve deserves the world, he's been the babysitter for longer than Eddie's been the DM, blah blah blah. Honestly, Eddie's getting a little tired of people assuming he'll hurt Steve and leave him heartbroken. By the time he closed the door after saying goodbye on the final He Means More To Us Than You Do conversation, he was left in no doubt that the kids expected him to fuck up royally and they would not hesitate to choose Steve when (not if, as far as they were concerned) it happened. They would never forgive him. It was good to know where he stood, he guessed.

What Eddie didn't know, was that Steve was getting a few shovel talks of his own.

Wayne was first, obviously. Steve wasn't surprised to be pulled aside at the Byers/Hopper barbecue to listen to some very unsubtle threats about what might happen to him if Eddie came home with so much as a pout Even One Time, Boy, You Hear Me?

More surprising, was Joyce.

Joyce came by one night under the pretence of bringing by some leftover lasagne. Steve offered her a tea and they sat in the kitchen together while she asked polite questions about how things with Eddie were going. When Steve was done telling her all about the constant butterflies in his stomach, she clasped his hand gently across the table.

"I'm happy for you sweetie, I am,"

"Thanks Joy–"

"But you need to understand that Eddie is a fragile boy, and he needs real love, Steve. He's not the type to be happy with a, what do you call it, a fling? He's not the type for that,"

Steve was taken aback.

"This isn't a fling, Joyce,"

"Can you promise me that? I remember him from when he was just a kid and, god, well, I'd hate to see him hurt,"

Steve's mouth was open and closing like a fish, totally at a loss for words.

"Steve, can you promise me that? I know you're grown now and things are different, but I need you to say it for me,"

"I promise, I... I'm not who I used to be,"

Joyce patted his hand.

"Good boy. I better get home,"

And then there was Hopper.

Hopper knocked on the front door of the Harrington house early one Saturday morning, three sharp thuds on the door that made you think, Yup, Cops Are Here.

Steve answered still half asleep, barely aware he'd even pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

Hopper didn't accept the invite to come inside. He noticed Eddie's boots by the door.

"He here?"

"Uh, yeah, has been since yesterday, why? Did someone say he done something?"

"No, he's not who I'm here for,"

"What? I haven't done anything?"

"Good, and I expect you to keep it that way,"

Steve didn't know how to react. His eyes were still adjusting to the daylight and his brain hasn't quite woken up yet.

"Hop, I don't know what you're talking about,"

"El told me that you all know about the night he went to live with his uncle, says he told everyone the basics when Jon was worrying about turning out like Lonnie,"

"Yeah, he told me some more about it after too,"

"Figured he might,"

Steve shuffled from one foot to the other.

"I still don't know why you're here..."

"I was the one who carried him out of that house that night, Steve,"

"Oh,"

Oh indeed. Hopper's voice was gruff and low. Steve was actually nervous.

"I listened to him cry for hours. He couldn't breathe it was so bad. I never wanted to hear another child even speak after having to sit in the room while he told Wayne what went down,"

"I–"

"And I don't think I'll ever be able to sit right with the idea of that kid being sad again, because of someone else messing with him. I never forgot what he sounded like when he cried. Don't make me have to see him cry again, Steve. Do you understand me?"

Steve was stunned. All he could do was nod dumbly. There was no point offering any sort of defence, Hopper obviously wasn't here to listen. He was here to tell. Of all the people Steve might have thought would be on Team Munson, the former chief of police wasn't exactly top of the list. Eddie's distinct lack of criminal record through his teens might have been some indicator though.

Hopper gave Steve a curt nod and turned back down the driveway without another word.

He closed the door and leaned against the wood, letting out a low breath. Eddie appeared at the top of the stairs, rubbing his eyes.

"Baby? Who was that?"

"Uh, Hopper..."

Eddie huffed a sleepy laugh.

"Hmm, shit, Law Man swing by to make sure I was behaving myself?"

Steve went to Eddie and pulled him into a tight hug, nuzzling into his hair. He really had no clue, did he?

"He was just checking in,"

Eddie hummed and went towards the kitchen to switch the coffee pot on. He had told Steve about the shovel talks he got from the kids earlier in the week. Trivial threats about leaving Hellfire and never helping him write a song again or going to one of his shows, taking back his Walkie privileges, things that seemed like the end of the world to a group of minors. Eddie had wistfully mentioned that Steve would never have to worry about being on the receiving end of something like that, he didn't think anyone really cared enough. Maybe You'll Get A Weird Look From Wayne, But I Think You're In The Clear, Golden Boy.

Eddie had no idea about the people that were looking out for him without him realising it. It made Steve's heart hurt. He'd half expected Robin and the others to have words with Eddie. It was almost a joke, he hadn't thought twice about it because he just kind of knew it would happen. He knew they cared, and he couldn't imagine how it would feel to be so sure that they didn't. That no one did.

Steve made a promise to himself then and there to never let Eddie feel like no one cared enough ever again, giving himself his very own version of the Don't Hurt Eddie Munson shovel talk.

It was the least Eddie deserved.

(Also posted to my ao3)

[half-oz-eddie]

Journaling Billy is so personal for me.

Billy with a gratitude journal that he writes in every time something good happens, or someone does something nice for him.

He got the journal from a nurse at the hospital post-starcourt, who thought it would be a nice way for him to pass the time, while also lifting his spirits and helping him realize how much love and kindness is around him, even if he doubts it.

It's just a blue, soft cover bound book, but he humors the nurse because she's got warm, pretty eyes and reminds him of his mom.

He uses it often, even after leaving the hospital.

Steve catches him writing in his journal one day, and Billy tells him it's fine if he reads the gratitude journal but not his diary.

Steve, of course, is dying to see what's in the journal, what Billy considers nice, and what good things have been happening to the love of his life.

Aug 1, 1985 Everyone came to see me. Even those kids Harrington always babysits. That's nice, right?

Aug 5 Harrington brought me some food from some burger joint. It was good. I guess he's nice even though I was kind of a dick to him.

Aug 21 Harrington showed up to drive me home. I don't know why he's being so nice to me. It pisses me off because I think he just feels sorry for me. I'm probably using this journal the wrong way but I don't care. I can't talk to anybody about this. I'm not feeling that grateful for shit today.

Aug 25 Max helped me with my pain medication. I thought she hated me. She acts like everything's fine. I have to admit I’m grateful what happened only stays in my nightmares and I wake up to a different reality.

Aug 29 Harrington called to check on me. Offered to come over and play cards. He doesn't have to keep pretending. I like the company, though.

Sept 10th Max tried to stay home from school to look after me. I'm doing a lot better so I didn't need the help. I still don't understand why everyone's being so nice after what I did. Sept 14th Felt strong enough to go out for some air on my own. Saw Sinclair and that other kid. Think his name's Dustin. They were on their bikes. They waved and asked how I was doing. Told them I was fine and they rode off. Do I deserve their concern? Sept 15th Sinclair came back while I was on the porch. Asked for Max. I told him he couldn't be here because of Neil. We waited for Max a few houses down and talked about basketball. He's trying out for the team so I gave him some advice. It was a nice conversation. Didn't feel forced at all.

Sept 20th I told Lucas I was sorry for what happened that night. He said he'd forgotten all about it. I know the little shit was lying, but I guess he forgives me. That was cool of him.

Sept 29th Lucas made the team and thanked me for the advice. I don't feel like I did anything.

Oct 4th I'm feeling better than ever. Driving around on my own again. Nobody seems to blame me for what I did, and everyone's nice everywhere I go.

Oct 11th Went to see El. She's always kind to me. She's like the little sister I never had. She made me some waffles.

Oct 15th Saw Harrington again. It was warm so we went swimming in his pool. I really missed the water.

Oct 29th Haven't been writing much down. It feels like I'm saying the same things over and over. Everyone's always nice to me. Dad's not bothering me anymore. I feel like I have a lot of support around me. For once I feel safe. Oct 31st Went to a halloween party with Harrington. First time having a beer in months. Got a little too drunk and we kissed. He didn't seem to hate it. I didn't either.

Nov 9th Finally talked to Steve again after the kiss. He asked if I wanted to go steady. I said no at first, then changed my mind. I'm glad I did.

Steve smiled as he read every entry. Every few days, Billy's entries were longer and longer. He talked about things that made him smile, people he met, and how much he appreciated the simplest things. It was an amazing transformation. He continued to read the entries, his eyes widening when he read the most recent one. January 12th 1986 I'm falling in love with Steve. I was hoping he’d say it first but he hasn’t said anything. Maybe I’m too hopeful. He treats me like he loves me too, I think. But I’m not sure. Steve quickly closed the book, feeling like he'd violated Billy's privacy by reading something he hadn't known before. "Why so quiet, Steve? You read yesterday's entry, huh?" "I—yeah. I thought maybe you wrote it in the wrong journal."

"I didn't. I was gonna tell you, I just...I dunno. I didn't want you to think I was trying to move too fast."

Steve laughed. "You have no idea how relieved I am."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Billy, I've been in love with you for weeks."

Billy snorted. "You're such a sap, pretty boy."

They shared a kiss and Billy wrote in his journal about how grateful he was, to love and be loved.

January 16th On August 21st last year, I was wrong. I have everything to be grateful for.

▪️▫️▪️

A little something to show my gratitude for reaching 400 followers. I appreciate all of you ❤️

Also tagging some friends I’ve met here that really belong in my gratitude journal for all the kindness they’ve shown lately and their posts just make me smile.

@shieldofiron @monsterpegger001 @dragonflylady77 @harringroveera @bigdumbbambieyes @brightside-of-the-upsidedown @thatgirlwithasquid

[andyling]

WAIT FUCK GUYS I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR A COMIC SERIES THAT WILL APPEAL TO ME AND MAYBE SOME OTHER PEOPLE BUT LIKE DEFINITELY TO ME IF DONE CORRECTLY

So like, y’know how Tim and Damien are kinda having a custody battle for the Robin title right now because DC never really managed to successfully give Tim his own identity? Well maybe we can have a series focused on exactly that, Tim finding a new hero identity. 

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL FOLKS, BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE NEEDS A NEW HERO IDENTITY?

KON EL FUCKING KENT

Do I ship Tim and Kon? Yes. Do I understand that Tim is in a relationship with Bernard right now? Yes. Do I know that DC would never let the poly relationship happen? Yes. 

But guess what, I don’t give a fuck. I’m desperate here. These two don’t need to smooch I just need them to talk to each other and be best friends and go on adventures and figure their shit out. I MISS THEM. THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC, EXCLUDING ANY ROMANCE, IS AMAZING AND I NEED MORE OF IT. 

Think about it, Kon and Tim know that Jon and Damien are going to take the mantles of “Superboy” and “Robin” and they have to learn to move on. They struggle to let go, they doubt whether they truly can make a name for themselves. So, they decide to leave Metropolis and Gotham. They separate themselves from the people that have defined their entire heroic lives. But both of them are afraid of being alone, so they go together. One last journey as Robin and Superboy. 

They travel the world together. They meet some familiar faces. 

Maybe they go visit Greta and Cissie and we get to see how their civilian lives are going. Perhaps the girls suggest that maybe the two need to let the hero life go. Maybe Tim and Kon even consider it, but they realize that being a hero is what they want to do. (AND THEY DON’T FIGURE IT OUT WHILE IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING, NO THEY JUST FUCKING TALK. THEY BEAT SOME SHITHEAD UP AND THEN THEY TALK. WHY DID THEY BECOME HEROS? WHY DO THEY WANT TO KEEP BEING HEROS? GIVE THEM SOME FUCKING DEPTH DC I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) 

Maybe they run into Anita. She’s found out that Slobo is alive and the three of them go to save him. (AND HE FINALLY GETS FUCKING RESCUED AFTER GETTING TRAPPED AS A CONCIOUS STATUE FOR SO FUCKING LONG FOR NO GODDAMN REASON I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WAS PUT IN THE FINALE FOR THE ORIGINAL YOUNG JUSTICE SERIES THAT LAST HALF OF THAT RUN SUCKED ASS AND EVEN IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME ABOUT THAT WE SHOULD ALL AGREE THAT SLOBO DESERVED BETTER). There is a reunion and it’s sweet and happy and just a nice moment. 

Shenanigans ensure, blah blah blah. They meet more familiar faces, some friendlier than others. They meet new people that help them along their journey. They now fully understand what makes them different from other heros and how they want to put those skills to use. They know what kind of heros they want to be and are ready to pave a new path for themselves.

And at the end of it the two choose new names for themselves that are hopefully not stupid and are very cool and suits them. The two have a touching moment where they say just how much the other means to them. Then they hug, maybe kiss (sorry i’m delusional), and then go their separate ways. 

Tim returns to Gotham, returns to his family, and we get a nice little reunion between the bat family. He officially resigns as Robin and the first time his new hero identity is put into action is in Gotham with the rest of his family because no matter what, he’s still a bat. Tim, as a hero, does his thing and stops crime and keeps the city safe. However he also focuses his attention on the political and corporate corruption happening in not just Gotham city, but all around the world. He even uses his influence as Tim Drake-Wayne if it can help. Most people won’t know he’s the one digging up evidence and ensuring justice is served, but that’s okay. So long as people’s lives can be changed for the better, he’ll be happy. 

Kon returns to Metropolis and talks to Clark. They have a heart to heart conversation and Kon official gives up the title of Superboy. He then goes to Jon and Kon officially gives his mantle to him. Kon was the first Superboy and Jon will be a more than worthy successor. Unlike Tim, Kon doesn’t stay in his home city. He bounces around from place to place aiding whoever is need of his assistance, whether that be working with another hero to stop a villain or helping a small community recover from a devastating natural disaster. He may not have a home city like other heros, but he still has a home. That home is simply spread out all over the world. After all for Kon, home is wherever his friends are. 

We fast forward a few months. Tim and Kon meet up at the old Young Justice base. They joke about how much they hated each other when they first met, which leads into a serious conversation about much has changed. Despite everything, they both agree that they’ve changed for the better and will continue to keep improving themselves and their lives. And yet, even after all of that . . .

“Kon, we may have given up our old names, but we’re still a part of those legacies. No matter what the future has in store, there are some things that will never change. You’re my Superboy. Always will be.”

“And you’ll always be my Robin.” 

And the comic ends. 

[professoruber]

Quick thoughts on MAWS depiction of Krypton

My Adventures with Superman Spoilers

Okay so I've really been enjoying My Adventures With Superman (I recently re-watched and caught up with the show) but honestly I am personally not the biggest fan of the depiction of Krypton and Kara.

Disclaimer I am not a big comic expert and am still something of an novice, especially with Superman stuff, but I am slowly broadening my horizons.

Some things I like about Superman is the parallels to the story of Moses as well as the general immigrant story. Superman Smashes the Klan is one of the comics I've read so far and I really liked how it explored those latter themes.

So I guess I kinda feel that having Krypton be depicted as this imperialistic empire, especially one who was destroyed due the fights they picked, kinda undermines those parallels/themes? Granted, the immigrant story stuff can still very much be present regardless of the nature of Kryptonian society.

Perhaps it has something to do with my initial expectations that Kara would provide another view of Krypton to contrast the very negative impression which Clark had received from the very limited information he had received in the first season but uh...

While Kara is certainly a rather sympathetic individual, she is also certainly not exactly providing a better view of Krypton. Of course, I'd imagine as well that Primus Brainiac's version of Krypton is much worse than the original one.

(The reason why I had the theory is because I like the contrast between Superman and Supergirl, of the latter generally being depicted as having spent at least her formative years in Krytponian society, either Argo City or Krypton itself. Both are stories of immigrants, but with an interesting difference which makes them distinct in their experiences)

But we did hear from Jor-El that Krypton was indeed an Empire before its destruction (although... Clark's only able to have a proper conversation with Jor-El after the Brainiac systems of the ship had been explicitly activated... hm.)

As I said before, I am really loving MAWS and think its a very fun show. And I also do not want to criticise a show merely because it did not follow my exact personal expectations, that'd just be silly.

But I suppose that watching it has gotten me thinking about my personal thoughts on Krypton in general, and I feel like I might as well write it down.

The season's also not over yet, so there is a high possibility of more nuance being shown in Krypyton. Plus regardless of if Krypton was an empire, the regular civilians didn't deserve total destruction.

Anyway, MAWS is very good .Would recommend. And like I said, this is mostly my personal rambling of thoughts on Krypton and Kara. Can't wait to see the next episode!

Edit: kinda tired today but to slightly expand on my thoughts. I suppose in general I like the idea of Krypton with its own flaws and virtues. While MAWS could still very well show the better side of Krypton outside of Brainiac’s propaganda, it’s status as an imperialistic power which caused its own destruction through its conquests arguably would overshadow that somewhat.

Clark Kent was raised on Earth by the Kent Family. That’s who he is, where he got his values and how he was shaped into the man he is. But I also like him still nonetheless being able to be proud of his Kryptonian heritage and connect to it; being both Earthling and Kryptonian.

But in MAWS; between Jor-El’s A.I getting destroyed, Old Krypton being imperialist, New Krypton being ruled by Brainiac and Kara being a brainwashed war criminal, it leaves Clark with very little connection to Krypton and very little insight to what it was actually like as a society and culture and people.

And unless there’s further reveals about Kara’s backstory (although I do have a theory about that…), there’s a fair chance she won’t have much connection to Krypton once she gets freed from Brainiac’s comtrol. And what connection she does have right now is mostly negative and tainted by Brainiac.

Perhaps I am a bit pre-emptive in some of this and I do think there’s still plenty of room for the writers to expand on Krypton and what it was like and what lead to its empire and subsequent destruction. Regardless of what direction the writers take though, I am looking forward to seeing the show’s story progress!

[stevie-petey]

a little emotional wholesome angsty blurb for will & bug?

will n bug <33

enjoy !

"youll miss me, right?"

youre in the byers kitchen, apron tied around your waist as you crack eggs into a bowl. the batter below you is littered with chocolate chips.

wills question startles you. "whats this about?"

"i dont know..." he shrugs, hands you another egg for you to crack. "just a question."

you look at him. hes hunched over at the counter, he wont meet your eye. you can tell that he regrets asking you the question, for revealing too much of his doubts to you. will knows better than anyone how well you read people.

especially him.

"it was just a question, y/n-" will tries to pretend it was nothing. he backs away from the counter, tries to run to his room and pretend none of this ever happened. he ruined your day together. all week will had been looking forward to baking with you, to spending the day with you and no one else.

no dustin.

no jonathan.

no steve.

just you and will.

and now hes ruined it. he always ruins it.

"will," he still wont look up at you, so you step away from the batter and walk over to him. wills body tenses at your touch, but slowly, ever so slowly, he exhales and allows your hand to hold his. "of course im going to miss you."

"you wont..." he looks away from you again, blinking rapidly as e desperately tries not to reveal to you the tears. will thinks about this summer, how everyone seemed to forget about him. the fight with mike in the rain. the way the party so suddenly disbanded, almost as quickly as his childhood had. "you wont forget about me?"

"i could never." you grab wills shoulders, shake him slightly with every word you say. you cant believe he would ever, ever consider this. you fought off monsters for him, you searched high and low for him, you nearly died to bring him home to you.

and it had all been worth it.

will byers is your brother. hes your blood.

but you think you might know why he still cant see this.

"listen, little bee." you catch his eye. hes scared, you can see the fear and tears within them. your hands come up to his face, cradling it like you used to do when he was a little boy. "i love you so, so much. you deserve so much in this world, more than what it has given you. do you understand?"

will nods, but it isnt enough for you.

kissing the top of his head, you pull him into a hug. "youre capable of so much love, its your hidden super power."

"kind of a lame power..."

you laugh, will does too. "its nothing like els, but its yours."

"i'll miss you, y/n." will breathes against you, and you hold him even tighter.

youll miss him, too.

[galesdevoteewife]

Right back at you! Could you tell us about their wedding ? 8, 18 and 19 🥰

Hello hello!! Thanks for dropping the ask!! Loved to do more Wedding prompts!! ✨✨

8. Traditions - The overall ceremony was a much simplified version of the traditional Dekarios ones. Many customs involves seeking good luck and my HC Gale snorted at and skipped lots of them. "All that's needed are the right words, gestures and substance components." type of Gale who would ignore the regulations and superstitions.

It still serves as both family gatherings and singles mixers as the traditional ceremonies do.

Dekarios family dances and ice-breaking games.

The rings followed Waterdeep traditions.

All the traditions are from Dekarios or Waterdeep. In my world Menzoberranzan don't have this type of weddings.

18. I Now Pronounce You... - Zilvera inherits Gale's family name, becoming Zilvera Dekarios and Mrs. Dekarios. Gale smiles every time he reads or hears someone call her that way. Zilvera likes how it links their name like a pair, although she rarely introduces herself with the surname. Just in case, because she wouldn't want to stain its reputation on her behalf.

19. Guests -

🎶People were chatting, playing, dancing, singing, drinking, eating, mingling 🪕

A group of children made a bouquet for the bride using the flower decoration on the table. "We think you are beautiful," the brave boy holding the flowers at the front said nervously with blushing cheeks.

Astarion was flirting with the most innocent-virgin-looking cousin.

Shadowheart set up a drinking contest with bets, and made a fortune out of it. She can hold her wine and she skillfully cheated.

Lae’zel was bored until Shadowheart persuaded her to start a martial arts arena: "Shouldn't a true warrior be able to win with any weapon?" Contestants chose food from the table as their weapon. The loser would have to eat the food afterward. Baguette was a popular choice. SH again made her coin purse even heavier. "My animals need to eat, and I am a responsible owner." She said with a glass of wine in her hand.

Elminster was there. Gale was playing cool but he was thrilled inside. He opened a precious wine for his idol and Elminster played along as if he was here because he wouldn't want to miss the wine. Only El knew the true reason of his visit, the old wizard has always been a mystery.

The ceremony moved Wyll to tears. The magically chilled beer moved Karlach to tears. They both missed the food and air so much.

There were piles of wedding gifts.

Barcus and some of his gnome friends, from Ironhand and from Gondians, attended. He brought her a very fancy firework show as wedding gift. The gnome's visit was also a business trip; they planned to expend their business in Waterdeep.

Zilvera looked at Barcus with an arched eyebrow. He stood there stiffly, posing like a scarecrow. "Are you trying to give me a hug?" "I just feel like it’s appropriate for the occasion. You want it or not?" "Maybe, but I am not bending down. How about you jump into my arms?" "You wish!" "Hm." She smirked, it’s good to see the familiar grumpy face. "Here, take this. I brought you a wedding gift so you won’t blackmail me later. Find a secluded place and toss it into the sky, as high as you can…damp coal! I said secluded place! Would you ever listen to my instruction...!"

"…Listen. I'll only say this once." Barcus said while they both looked up to the sky, knowing the drow's ears would pick up his every word no matter how loud the fireworks were. "Zilvera, you are a better person than you think. You deserve all of this. May you always find inspiration and strength in your union, my friend."

In my HC post-game Zilvera was in close contact with Barcus, who was now leading the Ironhands and collaborating with the Gondians, to help them recover from Gortash's doing. They needed money and wanted their skills to be known, while the drow wanted to build her own merchant guild, so they hit it off. Zilvera grew increasingly fond of these little fellows for their impressive skills and their character. She especially liked Barcus; they had become true friends.

♡ Wedding Prompts ♡01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

I appreciate Barcus's character and quest line so much, his was lots of fun! ("We love collaboration. Challenge. Solving problems with the power of reason, creativity and invention". Yup that's my cup of character ☕) He also have this firework dialog at tiefling party, it was very him 😂

[ooo---hazelgrimm---ooo]

Sun and Moon

Alright the beginning is completely Billy's redemption because he deserved redemption not death. And honestly Max hurting in S4 killed me. So, Max gets her brother back. Eventually BH x Reader.

Neil goes to far and someone very unlikely fights back, Billy realizes his sister and Stepmother actually do love him. Unfortunately sometimes love hurts and you have to hurt the people you love to save them.

Also this does kind of bounce around for a bit between the present, past, and Billy and Max's childhood.

Beeaaa-Beeeeep!

"I'm coming!" Max shouted running out of the door, Billy came out behind her carrying his bag over his shoulder.

"Code Gray Code Gray." A large group of kids and young adults sat in the hospital waiting area.

"That's probably our angry little asshole." Steve muttered. El turned on him sharply, glaring.

"My sister! Where the fuck is my sister!" He fought against the security as they secured him to the bed with padded restraints.

"Someone get me some Oxazepam." The nurses and doctors were in full PPE. A nurse injected a small dose of tranquilizer into his IV line as he fought.

"Mr. Hargrove! You need to remain still. You were involved in a major fire, there are wounds and burns covering fifteen percent of your body. Your sister is fine."

"No no. You don't understand it wasn't a fire." He shook his head violently, "There was this monster, my little sister, she's in danger."

"That is the trauma and morphine talking." A doctor whispered quietly to Neil, Susan, and Max. They had his bed turned so they couldn't see anything but the top of Billy's blonde curls through the glass. All they could hear from the room was Billy's shouts. "He might say some very strange things." Billy threw his head back violently onto the pillow as the doctor started walking away.

"He's not going to get rest and his condition is only going to worsen." One of the nurses muttered.

"Fuck! Why is nobody listening to me?! Max needs help!" He called out.

"Give me a gown." Max demanded.

"Sweetie no he's badly burned you don't want to see-" Susan started.

"She said he won't get better, if he's freaking out like this he won't get better. Give me a gown, give me gloves, mask, whatever I need to be able to go in there with him. I'll keep him calm and the doctors can fix him." Max assured them, "I won't be scared."

Billy still looked like Billy to her. What the doctors mistook for burns were the wounds from the mindslayer, they probably just didn't believe what was in front of them and chalked it up to the most logical thing. By the time they had finally let her into the room the medicine they gave Billy had kicked in so now Max sat on a rickety shitty chair waiting for him to wake up again as she held his hand. Eventually she too fell asleep.

A strange feeling woke Max, before she realized someone was messing with her hair. She sat up quickly, Billy's eyes looked bloodshot and tired.

"Hey." She whispered quietly. Billy's eyes turned down, "Please look at me."

" I can't. Your face-" Billy's hands clenched at his side as he forced his head up. Those were Billy's eyes, that's how Max knew he was there.

Neil had left. Max's mom has wandered off to the waiting room to find some sleep.

"Billy that was the Mindflayer." He was looking away in the distance.

"That thing, it showed me horrible horrible things. And then when it took over completely…" Billy shook his head, "I turned into my father."

"Billy, that thing was using your body, I know you'd never hit me if it was really you."

"Not just then. Before, before the mindflayer. How I yelled at you and jerked you around, I turned into him." He swallowed, "I was just-"

"You were in pain. El, she saw into your mind she told me everything-" Billy paled.

"How much is everything?" Max swallowed.

"Your dad yelling at you for not being good at baseball, your parents fighting, your mom leaving. You beating up some kid up and calling him a pussy, meeting me."

"I swear to God Max, I did some shitty things because I'm a fucking dick. But most of it I was protecting you, I was trying to prepare you, give you a thicker skin because I wasn't going to be around forever. And I'll be damned if I have to bury another sibling." It was out before he could stop it.

"Another?" Billy shook his head. His voice echoed in her mind, much younger back in California.

'Stay away from the stairs you little punk. That's why there's a baby gate up, to keep babies like you away.' The house had a long wooden staircase that led into the backyard that they never used.

That tattered broken baby gate that was cracked and leaned up against the top of the stairs. The downstairs neighbors that would always seem uneasy when Neil would be alone with her and Billy. When she was little she thought Billy was just jealous that he didn't want his dad spending any alone time with her. Billy just didn't want Max to replace him, as a punching bag.

And why Billy seemed to relax when she went straight from the fight to his mother leaving. Something happened in between, something way worse than anything else. Max understood, but why didn't he just tell her, they could have faced this together.

"It's ok Billy. We don't have to talk about it." Max told him between tears she didn't know she was crying.

"What the fuck is going on? With Hawkins, with your little friend with superpowers?"

"We will tell you everything, but first you have to get out of the ICU."

"I don't want to get better." Billy said quietly.

"Don't talk like that. We're together now you got that? You're stuck with me and I'm stuck with you but I'm not going to let anything hurt you again. I'm going to protect you, like you've been protecting me. Billy I knew immediately that you weren't you when I saw you after the mind flayer got you. Yeah I was in denial at first, but do you want to know how I knew?"

"Because it called you my sister." Billy croaked.

"No. I have always been your sister. I could see it in your eyes. They weren't my brother's eyes, not entirely." Billy wrapped his arms around her as best as he could.

"You tell anyone I went soft on you-"

"You won't do anything, you love me." Max curled into him some.

They crowded into Billy's small room on one of the main floors.

"Hawkins. Bumfuck Hawkins Indiana is a hotspot for interdemntional fucking monsters and people with superpowers from a lab. And a bunch of kids have been fighting them off." Billy shook his head in disbelief. "So what do we do now?"

"I'm sorry 'we'?" Harrington asked.

"Nothing. We do nothing, the mind flayer is dead. We go back to normal and hope it stays that way." Max answered.

"Shit." Billy muttered.

Billy was still a dick most of the time, but not the same kind of dick he was before. Now that Max saw him a little clearer it became evident that he was trying before.

He had taught Max to drive. To ride a skateboard. Those were all things he had done in California. Neil was an asshole and her mom was always busy.

And though he had done those things in a roundabout dickish way he had done them without being asked without being told.

And those days that sent Max into panic, when Neil would come flying at Billy with fist and voices raised. Maybe Billy's slow steps back weren't cowarding, maybe they were leading Neil away. Leading him away from Max and her mom.

Now, Billy was very obviously intentionally doing things for her. Bonding with her.

A loud whistle would ring through Cherry Lane and Max would come running. At first Billy would have some excuse. 'Your running in the store and grabbing food.' 'I need you to get me a pack of Reds.' 'The new girl at the arcade is hot.' Then it became clear. He just wanted his little sister by his side.

Trees, houses, everything whizzed by. Max grabbed a hold of Billy's arm and held him tightly.

"I'm scared." She whispered to him, burrowing her head into his arm.

"I'm scared." The ocean was roaring in his ears, he was sitting next to his mom staring at the crashing waves, "It looks hard."

"You can do hard things." She promised him, "Now, up and at 'em. You are so strong and I believe in you." Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear yelling.

"Your alright sweetie just sit back please and buckle up." Susan jittered nervously. Max shook her head holding on tighter to Billy's arm. He turned his arm over in her grip and laid a hand on her head, pressing her into his upper arm more in a strange hug.

"It's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Was muffled by his shoulder.

"We've still got Billy baby, he's not going anywhere." Susan promised Max.

"This one's got a pulse!" Max's heart stopped. Which one? A fire burned behind them, Starcourt Mall seconds from being reduced to ash, the pavement smelled like motor oil and mucky rain. The irony was suffocating, the last time she remembered this particular smell her and Billy were much younger in California. Racing to find Neil's truck in the parking lot of the carnival before Billy paid the price for Max insisting to play that stupid duck game over and over.

Billy sat on the ride home nursing a bruised wrist from how tightly Neil had yanked him into the truck. Max sat playing with her prize and Billy snatched it from her and tossed her new stuffed animal out the window.

He took his bike out the next morning and found it in a pile of mud, though he would never admit that he was the one who went and grabbed it off the side of the road.

"Mary mother of God." They were yanking on his bloody arm, pulling blonde curls out of the black bag.

"Someone grab me something with suction, anything, I need to clear his airway now!"

"Turn him over, turn him over!" Then that horrible retching that sounded like Billy was throwing his guts up but meant one thing, Billy was alive.

"He's breathing!!!"

Max sprinted across the parking lot as they pulled Billy from the body bag onto a stretcher.

"Pulse is dimming." The paramedic called out.

"Billy no!" Max had gasped, wrapping her arms around his, "Please don't go again." Max whimpered, "I need you."

"Pulse is stronger. Kid, keep talking." Max jumped in the ambulance with them and El followed.

"She's his sister too." Max lied.

It all started with dinner. Billy had heard raised voices, he turned off his radio.

"We'll pick it up then!" One of the cabinets slammed. Billy came out of his room, and headed into the kitchen. "You got a problem, son?" Neil asked when he saw him.

"No sir." Billy started grabbing silverware and cups for the table. Max was kneeled down cleaning up a plate. Billy sat everything on the counter and kneeled down to help her.

"Oh no." Neil scoffed, "Get your ass up. We're teaching the little princess responsibility."

Everything after that was a bit of a blur. Max said something Neil considered smart. Neil grabbed her. Billy shoved him off without thinking and Neil pinned him to the wall with an arm to his throat.

Billy couldn't breathe, this was finally it. His old man finally snapped to the point where he was going to kill him.

Everything was fuzzy around the edges, Billy tried to find somewhere to look. He didn't want the last thing on earth that he saw to be Neil's anger or the look of terrified horror on Max's face. There was a weird noise and Billy fell to the floor gasping. Max was beside him holding him and he slung an arm over her shoulder.

He had to get his feet under him, had to get up, had to get Max behind him, block her from Neil so he couldn't hurt her next.

"Oh my God is he dead?!" Max was asking. Billy's eyes finally focused on what was going on around him.

Susan was holding the frying pan, Neil was on the ground knocked out.

"Get your things, quickly." Susan was telling Max. And then his little sister and stepmother were gone from the kitchen. Billy forced himself to his feet leaning heavily on the counter. It could have been an hour or five minutes Billy wasn't sure. Susan came rushing back in, pulling a coffee can down from its hiding place in the cabinet. She took a wad of cash from it, stuffing it into her bag.

"Billy, sweetie." She was touching his arm and he pulled away from her a bit harshly. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." She mistook his anger, "Max is grabbing you some clothes and your stuff for your hair. I already put your moms seashells in the car. Is there anything else important to you that we can't replace?" Billy looked confused. "Oh. Oh! I'm so sorry! He's your father, I shouldn't have assumed you would want to leave with Max and I. It's just- well Billy I know I'm not your mother but I care about you and I just can't stand him putting his hands on you any longer. We just almost lost you and I-I-" Susan got teary eyed as she stumbled over her words.

"You're taking me with you?"

"Of course." Susan choked, "Your my son- stepson- but-" Billy hugged her tightly.

"Plus I have a car." Susan didn't. After Billy's mom's escape Neil ensured that Susan would never be able to get her own car.

Susan was already in the car, Billy was behind Max.

"What are you doing Shitbird?" He asked as she stalled at the door. She was breathing heavily and suddenly she turned rushing past him. Billy followed after her as she rushed back into the kitchen. "Woah woah woah!" He yelled as she yanked a large butcher knife out of the knife block. She gave him a disbelieving look as she held the damn thing next to her like Micheal Myers. She cut the phone cord, shoving the phone down into the garbage disposal for good measure.

"I'm not going to kill him!"

Billy internally sighed in relief, "You did try and take a bat to my balls, after your little boyfriend kicked them." He followed after her as she went to the living room, cutting the cord to that phone as well. Max snatched Neil's keys off the hook, dropping the knife. The horn on the Camaro blew.

"I'm coming!" Max shouted running out of the door, Billy came out behind her carrying his bag over his shoulder. Billy threw some more stuff in the trunk and opened the driver door for Max. She put Neil's keys in his hand.

"Put all that stupid baseball he made you play to use." Max told him before ducking into the backseat. Billy breathed deeply, tossing the keys up into the air once before chunking them as hard as he could to the treeline. Billy always had been a great pitcher.

Billy pulled into the next gas station. Max was slumped on his arm funny and it couldn't be comfortable. Susan stirred immediately when the car stopped.

"You're okay." Billy promised. He turned in his seat to lay Max down in the back.

"How far have we gone?"

"Three hours, we just crossed into Michigan." He told her quietly. Susan rubbed Billy's forearm, for the first time she actually looked very sad.

"I need to make a call." She swallowed looking teary, "Billy I need you to take care of Max for me." Billy's hands tightened on the wheel.

"You can't abandon her."

"I'm not! But- he's going to come looking for me." She took a deep breath, "You know that and I know that. It doesn't matter if it's tonight or next week he's going to come looking for me. I can not put my kids in danger." She was right, he knew that deep down.

"Fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night. I've got Max, I'll take care of her."

"I knew you would."

Billy had smoked through his pack and bought another before the old Wagoneer and Mercedes pulled in. Billy watched as the Mercedes did a lap through the parking lot before idealing in the pullout. An older dark haired woman hopped out of the Wagoneer, pulling Susan into her arms.

"It's so good to see you again, San Diego feels like yesterday."

"Joanna." Susan sighed, hugging her back tightly. Billy sighed, reaching back to shake Max awake.

"Hmm?"

"You need to go talk to your mom."

"Why what's happening?!" She jumped into the front seat, looking out to where Susan was hugging Joanna.

"Max, listen. Whatever she tells you, act like it's fine, tell her you love her. Once you're back in the car and we are away you can scream, cry, kick. Whatever you need, but for now go tell Susan that everything is going to be ok." Max nodded solemnly and got out of the car. He watched, unable to do anything while Susan held Max tightly. He watched as his sister shrunk into herself and just nodded, she hugged her mom again tightly and the three women walked back to the Camaro. Susan put Max into the passenger side still saying a very tearful goodbye while Max told her that it was okay and everything was going to be ok. Joanna came to Billy's side of the car.

"Just follow my girl, y'all will be staying with her for a bit." She pointed to the Mercedes. Billy nodded and after Joanna pulled Susan away, he pulled in behind the black car.

"You ok?" Billy asked Max quietly as they pulled into the street. Max nodded.

"I'm fine." She unbuckled her seat belt. "Totally fine." Climbed into the back seat lying down. "Everything is great actually." Pulled one of the pillows over her face, "Amazing!" (Muffled) and then, she screamed and screamed holding the pillow tightly to her face. A while after the screaming stopped, Billy pulled the pillow away so she would smother herself. "I hate Neil."

"Me too." Billy agreed, "Who was that lady?"

"Joanna?"

"Yeah."

"She used to babysit me when I was younger, before you."

"Alright."

"Her and YN." They pulled in at a small yellow two story house.

"Whose YN?" Billy asked, just as the driver door to the Mercedes swung open.

"Her." Max nodded toward you as you stepped out of the car.

"Holy shit." Billy scoffed.

[givehimthemedicine]

🛹🛼

lots of talk about why Mike reacted so negatively to this when he reacted so positively to this:

can we talk about how the Rinkomania reaction started in between those two things? right here:

at mid-season-2, all the times Mike has seen El use force against people have been super justified because there were lives at stake (or at very least, like in the case of tossing Lucas in the junkyard, she thought there were)

then Max wipes out, and goes "ooh it was like a magnet pulled on my board" and instead of taking that the way anyone would - that this annoying girl fell due to lack of skill and is trying to save face with a stupid excuse - INSTANTLY Mike suspects El. El, who's currently dead or lost in another dimension or whatever, must actually be lurking around here with nothing better to do than trip Max.

ok 100% accurate but I'm offended nonetheless

why did he jump to that conclusion?

the last time some inexplicable, physical but nonlethal hijinks befell someone he was talking to, he turned around and saw who was responsible:

so when Max fell, in that same gym btw, of course his brain goes turn around, look at what you seee

this was Mike learning that, oh, El isn't Superman and doesn't reserve her powers only for perfectly morally justified situations, but can in fact lash out about anything that bothers her, like the disturbed child she is.

BUT I don't think he actually processed that at that moment. he wasn't thinking about how Max did absolutely nothing that could be misinterpreted as a threat, and didn't deserve this. at that moment, any thought of justice for Max, or scrutiny of El's motives, was easily and completely drowned out by excitement that El might be there.

so later Mike sees Angela screaming on the ground with El standing over her, and remembers he has already seen El respond to a non-life-threatening situation with a level of force that didn't make sense to him.

plus he has that whole protection thing and I think seeing anyone get hurt is paladin catnip to him (see him rushing to Max's aid two seconds after telling her she's annoying). he has that instinct to support whoever's been knocked down undeservedly - yeah he knows Angela is an asshole, but El's response seems overboard to him, so while he doesn't go as far as rushing to Angela's side, he doesn't rush to El's side either.

he keeps distance between himself and El at the rink and leaves her sitting alone in the most literal demonstration of not wanting to take her side. he seems irritated in the car and downright pissed at the dinner table. I think it's true that he was overwhelmed in the moment and scared not of El but of the situation, but I don't think that's all of it, because then why would he be pissed.

maybe he's seeing patterns and thinking back on how Max didn't deserve that at all, and how neither of these things were very Superman of El and he's a bit disillusioned that she doesn't live up to the flawless superhero moral code he assigns her in his mind.

while the Angela thing seems WAY harsher than the Max thing, can I also say that a lot of that is due to circumstances?

Angela's pouring blood, wailing, an ambulance has to come, there's lots of witnesses. it looks baaaad. Max isn't injured, isn't too bothered, and there are no witnesses or real consequences. shrug. but it easily could've gone down much more like Angela. you can absolutely break a bone or get a concussion from a spill like Max's.

Max isn't hurt, so Mike just leaves the room, and nothing ever comes of it. compare to Mike watching an inevitably-to-be-arrested El sit stewing in the aftermath as dozens of Angela's sympathizers watch her get checked for brain damage by EMTs.

it's little wonder Mike has such a different reaction in the moment, even though El's actions in these two scenes actually isn't totally night and day.

El's force was more deliberately focused on Angela, and I think El did intend to hurt Angela in a way she didn't intend to hurt Max (El yoinked the skateboard rather than bodily targeting Max herself, but her intent was still to make Max fall, and she could have been comparably injured as a result).

like, up til the point of "El gets mad and lashes out" these are similar - the way the aftermath unfolds just happens to take the best and worst possible paths, respectively.

and before you want to point out that the Angela thing was a reaction of anger and the Max was just about puppy love jealousy, no, that was anger. Max is literally the first thing El thinks of when Kali says to think of something that angers her.

tldr; rinkomania is just a nightmare remix of the gym scene to Mike

[hyunin]

hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! �� (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help 🙏 i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- cremation but nothing too descriptive (im not sure if that counts as trigger)

A/N- This isn't the end of the fic I promise there's still more...so much more. Anyways let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @evelyndane @marauders-wife @el-de-phi

Ch-64 ~The change had come for her~

“I’m sorry, What?” Anaya spoke, utterly bewildered. She was entirely sure that she’d heard the statement wrong.

“You will lead Ravka’s council” She repeated with certainty.

Anaya’s eyes widened. 

The girl has clearly gone berserk.

“You have the capabilities of being one” She further amended. “You have skills, experience and just the right amount of confidence”

“That, I do” Anaya pursed her lips.

“And didn’t you live in Ketterdam for several years?” Alina asked 

“I did, yeah” Anaya nodded

“Also you have degrees in what, business and finance ?” She furrowed her brows, unable to remember the exact details.

“Business, finance and political science,” Anaya corrected, pointing a finger.

“You don’t need to doubt yourself, Anaya” Alina reassured her. “The country needs you to get back on its feet”. 

“I’m not entirely sure that those people would be willing to follow me” Anaya pursed her lips.

“Then you make them follow you” Alina put a hand on her shoulder. “You prove it to them”.

Anaya looked down at her feet. 

Is that what she truly wanted? She believed some part of her really did.

She had wanted to help people, so that they didn’t end up being used, manipulated and tossed away. 

She wanted to help people so they could live a life where they wouldn’t go to bed at night, fully aware that they might not wake up the next morning.

She wished for Ravka to be a better place, a place suitable for everyone. Not just the rich, the powerful, the soldiers.

She wished for Ravka to be a home.

And she knew she would do all in her power to make that true. 

“Alright” she sighed. “I’ll do it”

Alina smiled. 

“Ravka shall prepare itself for an extremely charming and talented Councillor” Anaya gave her a smug grin

Alina grinned brightly, “I’m afraid they might swoon at your feet”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they did,” Anaya shrugged.

Alina smiled and then wrapped her arms around Anaya. “Thank you, for being by my side when I least expected it,” she said.

Anaya stilled for a moment then wrapped her arms around the girl. “Of course”.

“Take care of yourself” Alina smiled, blinking away her tears

“You too” Anaya smiled, surprised by the strange prickle in her own eyes.

                   ……………………………………………......................

Into the sands of the Unsea, the pyre was a massive mound of birches and white limbs. Atop it lay Ruby, who had been tailored to be the Sun Summoner, a soldier who’d fought by Anaya’s side.

It was astonishing just how much she looked like Alina.

Beside her, lay the Darkling, with his hair neatly combed back, dressed in his black kefta with his hands folded on his chest.

The sun had almost set and dusk was falling, yet the crowd was massive and hadn’t deteriorated in the slightest. Some complained that the Darkling did not deserve to share a pyre with a saint but this was the way it was to be.

They needed to see the end of it.

From beside Nikolai Lantsov and the Apparat who’d just been pardoned, Anaya Nasrazeen stepped front.

The question had come up when they'd been discussing the details of the ceremony.

Nikolai and Genya were propped up near the fire. Zoya was sitting near the table, brandy in hand. David had been scribbling in his notebook. 

"Someone needs to do it," Zoya said, taking a sip from her class. "The people need to know the future of Ravka, that we'll be the ones to lift it back on its feet".

"I don't think I can do it" Nikolai's voice rose. He sighed.

Genya shook her head as well. 

"I can't either," said Zoya, her voice trembling.

"I can do it" Anaya's voice rose, reverberating in the silence. 

Their gazes shifted to her sitting at the far end of the table. 

"What?" She raised her shoulders.

"Anaya, you-" Nikolai began. "You don't have to feel pressured to do this".

But Anaya only remained composed, "It's fine".

She got up from her seat and walked towards the door. "If I need them to follow me" she looked back at him. "I'll need them to know who I am".

“People of Ravka!” Anaya bellowed, her voice booming through the crowd, making them all go silent.

“In front of us lies the very man, who once gave us hope” she glanced at the Darkling. “Hope to make our nation a better place.” 

She stepped forward. 

“However, he was the very man to be consumed by greed and power. He took something from each and every one of us”

“And here lies an innocent girl” she said, glancing at the Sun Summoner. “A girl who was more than the world had presumed her to be. The girl who became our savior, the harbinger of peace, a Saint, when she could’ve chosen not to.” Her voice passed through the massive crowd, reverberating through the dead sands. “She owed the world nothing, yet she gave it her most valuable possession, her life.”

Several chants of “Sankta Alina” went up from the crowd.

“Let us not allow her hard work, her sacrifice be in vain!” Anaya roared. “Today marks the end of a dark age of Ravka, one we’d all been living in."

"And it is the beginning of a new era, a free Ravka, a Ravka gleaming with the flame of hope, a Ravka that is ours” she stood with her back straight, her chin up. 

There was a shift in her demeanor, a new flame burning in her eyes. As if this was the part for her to play all along. 

“Let us not forget” Anaya’s voice was jagged, borne of her struggles, her experiences. “the sacrifice of all those who have laid down their lives for our nation”

Harshaw, Marie, Fedyor, Rabeah, the list stretched on.

“I, Anaya Nasrazeen, pledge to devote my life to make Ravka a better nation, along with each and every one of you” she took a step forward. 

“Let us all work in harmony, to bring about change, for the better, To not let their sacrifices be in vain” She raised her arm, her fist clenched.

“For Ravka!” her voice boomed through the crowd, like the beating of a drum, a grand symphony

“For Ravka!” The crowd bellowed in unison.

She turned back and gave a single nod to the Apparat. 

He raised his hands. 

The Inferni struck their flints. Flame leapt in bright arcs and spread onto the branches.

 The fire grew, flames shimmering, the shaking leaves of a great golden tree. 

The moans and weeping of the crowd grew louder. 

Sankta, they cried. 

Sankta Alina. 

Anaya glanced at the burning pyre, the Darkling’s body with an unprecedented relief. 

The man who had given her everything.

Her lips formed a small frown.

The very man who had taken it all.

She looked at the crowd. Amidst the crowd, she could make out a woman in her purple kefta. Her dark locks falling  on her bronze skin. 

Beside her, a man in his blue, red embroidered kefta. An unfamiliar gleam in his moonlit skin. 

They were gazing at her, smiling.

They were proud.

They were at peace, at last.