#and elli's guest room <3

[terenos]

HOUSING SHOWCASE -> THE ORBSERVATORY PRIOR

[waterhousse]

Underneath the Tree

Pairing: brother’s best friend!ellie williams x reader

Summary: you’re happy to be back in your hometown for christmas break, but that changes when an unexpected guest shows up at your house.

Author’s note: let’s pretend i posted this on time lmao anyways here’s some fluffy cliché and christmassy ellie content <3

• • • •

christmas had always been your favorite holiday. you loved everything about it; the food, buying presents, the decorations, the movies and every single tradition, but most importantly, the joy of it all and the coziness that time of year radiated.

you and your brother had just arrived home from college, so all you wanted to do was relax for a bit. you plopped down on one of the couches, letting out a big sigh.

“hey, i wanted to tell you that i invited a friend over to spend christmas with us,” your brother told you out of nowhere.

you frowned, confused, “oh, who?”

“her family went to visit one of her aunts, the one she hates, so i invited her here. mom and dad already know.”

“who is it?” you asked again.

“well—”

knock, knock.

you didn’t miss the weird glance he shot you before he went to open the door. you stayed on the couch, trying to heighten your hearing to figure out who it was.

the intrigued expression in your face morphed into a surprised one when you recognize the person’s voice. it belonged to none other than ellie williams, your brother’s best friend.

they met in orientation and immediately hit it off, yet you had never liked her. not when your brother first introduced you to her, not after the countless times she had been over at your apartment and certainly not now that she had crashed your favorite holiday.

she always found a way to mess with you, either by teasing you or doing stuff like using your favorite mug whenever she was over at your apartment or borrowing your hoodies without asking.

she really got on your nerves, and now she was at your house. you would’ve never imagined her standing in your living room and talking to your parents, but there she was.

you glanced up at her the moment her eyes fell on you, her characteristic cocky grin already making an appearance.

“hey.”

you just sent her a smile, one that only a blind person wouldn’t be able to tell was fake. after a short chit-chat, your parents left the room followed by your brother, who mouthed ‘be nice’ before leaving.

“happy to see me?” ellie asked once she checked you were alone.

“the happiest,” you replied, sarcasm violently dripping from your words.

ellie suppressed a laugh, clearly amused by how much her presence bothered you. “i promise you won’t even notice i’m here.”

you scoffed, “yeah, right,” you muttered before getting up from the couch and walking past her. “don’t go in my room,” you warned her before leaving her alone on the living room.

“you’re not gonna show me around?” she asked, raising her voice a little.

you heard her snicker and it was almost impossible for you not roll your eyes at the sound. fuming, you went to the kitchen in search of your brother.

“thanks for the warning, dumbass,” you scowled at him. he knew how you felt about ellie, but he didn’t care in the slightest.

he laughed, stuffing his mouth with multiple cookies. “you weren’t going to let me invite her if i told you.”

“exactly!”

“get over it. she’s cool, you’d like her if you actually gave her a chance.”

you huffed, “whatever.”

after that, you went to your room. you put on your favorite christmas playlist as you unpacked, but you were far too distracted to actually listen to the songs.

you wouldn’t go as far as calling ellie your enemy, but she was close to that. you just couldn’t stand her, that was why whenever she visited your brother at your apartment you stayed in your room or left, not wanting to be the victim of her constant teasing.

suddenly, the door swung open. your head shot up, alarmed. ellie was staring back at you just as surprised as you were.

“what are you doing?” you asked, annoyed.

“oh, i thought this was the guest room.”

“that’s the guest room,” you pointed to the door right across yours. “now, if you’ll excuse me—”

“you should come downstairs, i’m about to bake cookies.”

a laugh escaped your lips as you grabbed your phone to pause the music. “you are making cookies?”

ellie leaned on the doorframe, a small smile forming on her lips, “yeah, why?”

“you don’t seem like the type, that’s all.”

“yeah, well, i’m full of surprises. you’ll see.”

with that, she left. you stared at where she had been standing a second ago, completely unaware of the goofy smile on your lips. you went back to your task, too caught up in your mind to realize you hadn’t pressed play on the music.

a while later, you finished unpacking and straightening up your room in the process. the smell of freshly baked cookies made you practically float to the kitchen and you could almost hear them calling your name. trying your best to not make a sound, you stood on your tiptoes and went to grab one.

“those are for later,” ellie’s voice came out of nowhere, startling you for the second time of the day.

you immediately turned around, narrowing your eyes at her, “this is my house.”

“and those are my cookies,” she retorted, crossing her arms beneath her chest. “but fine, you can grab one.”

“just like that?”

“do you want to fight a duel over it or something?”

you rolled your eyes, reaching over to grab one of the cookies. you chose the one with the candy cane shape and took a bite just as you walked past her.

god, that’s good.

“how is it?” ellie asked, following you closely behind.

“there’s no way you made this,” you said before sitting down on the big couch.

“i did!”

“i’ll ask my mom.”

“fine, she made them. i only passed her the ingredients,” ellie admitted, rolling her eyes. she sat down next to you and watched as you turned on the tv. “what are we watching?”

“well, i was going to watch home alone.”

“cool, let’s.”

“only if you keep quiet.”

ellie layed back on the couch, nodding at your words, “i promise.”

surprisingly, she kept her word and didn’t utter a sound, but you were still fully aware of her company. ellie didn’t miss the quick glances you shot at her from time to time.

“what?” she asked, turning her head to you.

“huh?”

“you’re looking at me.”

“no, i’m not,” you furrowed your eyebrows and looked back at the tv, but you could still feel ellie’s stare on you. with a sigh, you gazed back at her. “are you going to watch the movie or not?”

“i could ask you the same thing,” ellie replied, eyes sparkling with amusement.

you looked away from her, “shut up.”

ellie just chuckled lightly at you, choosing not say anything else and pay attention to the movie. she didn’t tear her eyes away from the screen until forty minutes later, when a weight on her shoulder distracted her. confused, she looked to the side.

it surprised her to see you had fallen asleep on her. you were softly snoring away, looking as peaceful as she had ever seen you. it was the first time you were that close to her and she couldn’t help but think how horrified you’d be if you knew what you were doing.

ellie watched what was left of the movie sitting impossibly still, trying not to wake you up. once the credits rolled in, she catiously moved you off of her and left you in a comfortable position before standing up.

she watched what was left of the movie impossibly still on her spot, trying not to wake you up. once it ended, she catiously moved you off of her and left you in a comfortable position before standing up.

you woke up a while later, wrapped in a warm blanket that wasn’t there before. you were completely disoriented, not knowing where you were or what had happened when it suddenly hit you.

you sat up straight on the couch, looking around and seeing the tv turned off.

“god,” you whispered as you hid your face in your hands, embarrassed.

“go wake your sister up and tell her dinner’s ready,” you heard your mother say from the dining room.

“i’m up!” you shouted back, mentally preparing yourself to face ellie again.

everyone was already sitting at the table, looking at you with amused smiles.

“you should’ve woken me up sooner,” you groggily complained, taking a seat next to ellie.

“but you looked so adorable,” ellie said to you, leaning closer so only you could hear.

you weren’t a violent person, but all you wanted to do in that moment was to punch that stupid grin off her face.

“i’m not in the mood for jokes, ellie,” you glared at her before setting your gaze on your plate.

“who said i was joking?”

you looked back at her, but she had already engaged in another conversation with your brother.

you and ellie didn’t exchange any more words, but you got to know her a little bit better due to the million questions your parents asked her. you learned that she was actually not that bad and you certainly liked her better when she wasn’t constantly teasing you.

even though you had taken a nap, you were still incredibly tired so you went to your room after helping cleaning up. once you slipped into your favorite pajamas you were ready to sleep, but a knock on your door interrupted you.

you didn’t expect to see ellie standing on the other side.

“uh, something wrong?”

ellie shook her head, “no, we’re just about to watch a movie and i though i’d let you know in case you wanted to watch it with us.”

“oh, thanks, but i’m really tired so…”

“you’re going to sleep already? do you need me to lend you my shoulder again?”

the polite smile you had instantly disappeared and an annoyed expression taking took over your features at her taunting.

“goodnight,” you closed the door on her face, but that didn’t stop the sound of her laughter from reaching your ears.

you woke up the following morning with the sound of your family chattering downstairs, with the addition of ellie’s voice. you could’ve sworn she said your name but, having just woken up, you told yourself you had probably heard wrong.

ellie was enjoying her breakfast when she heard noises upstairs and, as a reflex, she looked up. your brother noticed, so he sent her an inquisitive look.

“what?” he asked her.

“i heard noises, i think she’s up.”

“yeah, i know. you just seem very aware of whatever my sister does,” he pointed out before taking a sip of his coffee.

“i’m just a very observant person, that’s all.”

“you, observant? you’re zoned out every time i try talk to you,” he said incredulously.

“that’s on purpose, i just don’t wanna talk to you.”

their little quarrel stopped once they saw you come in, staying suspiciously quiet. you narrowed your eyes at them as you sat down, their eyes following you.

“what?” you glanced at them.

“nothing,” ellie replied as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

“hey, can you pass me the—” you suddenly went quiet when you noticed something that snapped the sleepiness out of you. “that’s my mug!”

ellie froze on her spot just as she was about take another sip, “uh…”

“let her use it, she’s a guest!” your mother told you. “she probably didn’t know it was yours when she grabbed it.”

“but she always does this—”

“she’s a guest,” your mother repeated.

you scoffed as your eyes fell on the girl in front of you. as expected, she was completely amused by the situation.

“i’m a guest,” ellie pronounced the words with that mocking tone that drove you crazy.

“you’re really annoying, you know that?”

your brother silently watched the scene unfold in front him. he noticed the way you were trying to hide a smile and how ellie was unable to do so. there was a huge grin on his friend face, one that only seemed to appear whenever you were around.

that was actually the first thing that made him pay more attention to your relationship’s dynamic. ellie became another version of herself with you, one that was unusually smiley and much more of a tease than she normally was.

“next time i’ll go to your house to use your favorite mug.”

“i don’t have a favorite mug.”

your family listened closely to your bickering, laughing to themselves as you and ellie kept fighting. you were like that for the rest of the day, making fun of each other and engaging in harmless and playful arguments.

that afternoon you decided to make gingerbread houses, but it soon turned into a deadly competition in which only you and ellie were participants.

it all started when ellie mocked the christmas traditions you loved so much, calling them dumb. you challenged her by saying she only thought that way because she wouldn’t be good at them. your words brought up ellie’s competitive side, so she bet that her gingerbread house would kick yours’ ass.

“oh, you’re going down,” the evil chuckle the came out of you would’ve made her laugh in another situation, but ellie was too focused on winning.

much to your dismay, ellie was weirdly artistic and, apparently, good at everything. her house ended up being much better than yours, so you had to listen to her bragging about it for what was left of the day.

christmas was getting closer and closer and, to your surprise, having ellie there wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. in fact, you actually enjoyed having her around.

she was nicer than you would’ve imagined, really funny and had many different interests, which were fun to learn about when they were explained by her. you still found her slightly annoying since her habit of making fun of you never went away, but you were definitely getting used to it.

“you’re heading out?”

you looked up at the sound of ellie’s voice. “yeah, christmas shopping,” you replied as you wrapped a big scarf around your neck.

“oh, cool. i’m coming with you.”

you let out a small laugh, “no, you’re not.”

“i have to buy presents for the kind family who let me spend christmas with them, that includes you, the kindest of them all.”

you rolled your eyes at her evident sarcasm, “why don’t you go with my brother?”

“i need your help on what to get him,” ellie tried to convince you, but you were still hesitant. suddenly, an idea came to her mind. “c’mon, where’s the christmas spirit?”

christmas spirit.

using that card on you was low, it was obvious you wouldn’t resist.

you let out a sigh, but immediately gave in, “fine, let’s go.”

“you’re so easy to convince.”

“don’t make me regret it.”

the drive to the mall consisted in you singing whatever song came on the radio and ellie looking at you through the corner of her eye while staying strangely quiet. she hadn’t even tried to make fun of you, not even once.

“what should i get your parents?”

“you don’t have to get them anything, ellie, really.”

the mall was packed with people doing last minute christmas shopping, but you couldn’t exactly complain considering you were doing the exact same thing.

ellie followed you closely, “if you don’t help me i’ll buy them whatever crap i see first.”

“okay, do that.”

ellie groaned, “oh, c’mon.”

she kept struggling to find a way to convince you, completely oblivious to the smile you had on your lips. you had decided to help her from the beginning, but seeing her in distress was very entertaining for you.

you wandered around for a while, going into every possible store. you bought presents for everyone, except for the girl beside you.

“stay here, i have to do something,” you told her.

“really? what’s that?”

“it’s private.”

ellie hummed, “how private?”

“what?”

“why can’t i go with you?” she questioned.

“because you can’t.”

“wait, are you going to buy me a present?”

you huffed, “no.”

“you don’t have to lie.” ellie leaned in closer to you, “i know santa isn’t real,” she whispered.

you pushed her away from you as she laughed. you began walking away, ellie hurriedly catching up to you.

“what are you going to get me?”

“nothing if you keep being a pain in the ass,” you dryly replied.

“fine, go. i guess i’ll just wait here,” she pointed to an empty bench. “don’t be long.”

“don’t tell me what to do.”

ellie watched you leave with a smile plastered on her face. she sighed, laying back on the bench as she impatiently waited for you to be back. she had already picked up a present for you in one of the many stores you visited. she didn’t know how she managed to pull it off, but she was insanely proud of herself. it was difficult for you not to notice something, you had eyes everywhere.

after what seemed an eternity for ellie, you went back to find her. you almost laughed at how tired she looked, maybe christmas shopping wasn’t as fun for others as it was for you.

“bored?” you asked, amused.

“i think i actually fell asleep at one point.”

“i’m sorry,” you chuckled. “but we’re done! let’s go.”

ellie laughed softly at the amount of energy you still had in you. she felt completely exhausted. shopping was one of the things she disliked the most, especially during the holidays. still, she had fun.

maybe she didn’t hate shopping as much as she thought, or maybe your company would make her enjoy literally anything.

“wait,” ellie grabbed your arm and pulled you down, making you sit next to her. “aren’t you tired?”

“not really,” you shrugged your shoulders. “but we can rest for a bit if you want.”

“great,” she replied, crossing her arms and laying back on the bench again.

you copied her action, looking around the mall and paying extra attention to the lovely christmas decorations. you threw your head back, noticing something hanging above you.

mistletoe.

your eyes widened as you sat up straight, catching ellie’s attention. she turned her head to you, furrowing her eyebrows.

“you okay there?”

“uh, yeah. why?”

“you’re looking a little tense, that’s all.”

“i’m not tense, i’m just cold.” you made the mistake of shooting a quick glance at the mistletoe. ellie noticed, of course.

she tried her best to suppress a smile, but she failed miserably, “ah, i see.”

the way she looked at you caused a strange flutter in your stomach, which made you shift uncomfortably in your place.

“i’m not kissing you, ellie.”

“why not?”

her almost immediate question took you by surprise, “what do you mean why not?”

“i mean, why not?”

“i don’t know. you’re you.”

“yeah, and you’re you. you love christmas traditions.”

“you don’t. you said they were dumb.”

“yeah, but i’m not, like, totally opposed to them.”

you stayed quiet, staring into those green eyes of hers. your gaze wandered down to her lips and it lingered there for a moment before something else caught your attention.

“you have freckles,” you pointed out.

her eyes darted from your lips to your eyes, “you didn’t know?”

“this is the closest i’ve ever been to you.”

ellie’s mouth curved into a smile, wanting you to be even closer. she noticed the way your eyes were back on her lips, so she took it as a sign that you wanted it just as much as her.

it felt impossible for you to look away, you were completely enthralled by her. there was something pulling you closer to her, you couldn’t control it.

“for christmas’ sake, y’know?”

“you can’t keep using christmas as a way to manipulate me,” you whispered.

ellie took the initiative and leaned in first. you instantly closed your eyes at the contact, eyebrows slightly burrowed as you melted into the soft, slow kiss. it didn’t last long, but the sensation stayed with you after pulling away.

“um…” was all that you could say, eyes a bit widened.

ellie sent you a nervous smile, “you gotta respect christmas traditions, right?”

“right.”

on the drive back home the tension was palpable, but neither of you dared to mention the kiss again and acted as if nothing had happened. you certainly wouldn’t be the one to bring it up, so you tried your best to forget about it and trick your own mind into thinking it had been just an hallucination.

on the other hand, ellie couldn’t and wouldn’t stop replying the moment in her head. she wasn’t exactly sure if she had done the right thing, but she knew she didn’t regret it. not one thought crossed her mind in that moment, she didn’t think about what would happen next or what would your brother do if he found out. she went for it because that was what she had been wanting to do for a while.

on christmas morning, the house was dead quiet. everyone was still asleep, except for you and ellie. after making yourselves more presentable, you stepped out on the hallway at the same time. you almost gasped when you opened the door and ellie was right across from you, there was a similar expression on her face.

things had been awkward between you two. you didn’t ignore each other, but you didn’t talk as much as before. she had stopped making fun of you and you treated her more politely than you had ever done.

“good morning,” you softly said.

“hey,” she greeted with a half smile. “merry christmas.”

your eyebrows rose a little when you realized you had forgotten what day it was.

“right, merry christmas,” you grinned, fiddling with your fingers. “do you want to have breakfast?”

“sure, yeah.”

you both went downstairs and walked towards the kitchen, but ellie stopped by the living room. you turned around and watched her go to the christmas tree. she looked back at you, pointing at the wall where five christmas stockings were hung up. next to the one with your initial, there was one with an embroidered letter ‘E’.

“you bought me a stocking.”

“how’d you know it was me?”

ellie tilted her head to the side, “seriously? you’re like christmas personified.”

her compliment earned a soft giggle from you. you missed the adoring look she gave you when you looked down. it was hard to make you shy, which is why ellie felt over the moon when she accomplished it.

“thank you,” ellie gave a sincere smile, which faltered a little once she saw you trying to avoid eye contact. it had been that way ever since the kiss happened and it was driving her crazy.

“you’re welcome,” you grinned, looking into her eyes.

oh, ellie wasn’t ready for that. she felt her heart rate pathetically increase and she tried her best to look unaffected.

“we’re okay, right?” she awkwardly asked you.

“yes, why wouldn’t we be?”

“it’s just… it’s been kind of weird since, y’know, the kiss. i’m sorry if it bothered you, we can just forget it happened—”

iin that moment, the sound of your brother coming downstairs stopped you. you sent her an apologetic look before he barged in, loud as he always was.

“you didn’t open any presents yet, did you?” your brother asked you, narrowing his eyes at you.

“uh, no. we— we were waiting for you, guys,” you said just as your parents appeared.

you watched your family open their presents and tell you to open yours, but you were too busy thinking about your previous conversation with ellie. you glanced at her, hoping she would be already looking at you, but she wasn’t.

with a sigh, you grabbed a box from underneath the tree, one that had ellie’s name on it. you walked over to her and took her by her hand before discreetly dragging her out of the room.

“i’m sorry i’ve been acting weird, i guess i just— well, i—” you struggled to put together an actual sentence under ellie’s stare. she tilted her head to the side, waiting for you to continue. “god, don’t look at me like that.”

“why? do i make you nervous?” she taunted, a teasing grin spreading over her lips.

“ellie,” you complained, throwing your head back.

she laughed, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry.”

“dumbass,” you muttered, frowning. “what i’m trying to say is, i’m sorry. i should’ve been more upfront.”

“more upfront with what, exactly?”

“with how i feel.”

ellie’s breath hitched in her throat, “and how do you feel?”

“i like you.”

“you do?”

“yeah,” you gave her a smile. “unless you don’t like me back, then i don’t.”

ellie chuckled lightly and, without hesitation, she gently grabbed your face with one hand and brought you closer to her, giving you the kiss she had been dreaming about ever since your lips left hers at the mall.

your mind went blank, nothing else mattered. not the possibility of your family seeing you or the fact that kissing ellie would’ve been the worst thing imaginable a week back.

things had drastically changed.

you didn’t know when or why it happened exactly, but you seriously liked her. maybe when you saw how well she treated your parents, or how much she cared for your brother. maybe it was the way she looked at you whenever she made a joke to see if you’d laugh, or the fact that you shared practically the same taste in music.

there were many, many reasons for you to like her, yet you still couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

all of a sudden, you pulled away, leaving ellie with her lips puckered, “open your present.”

you placed the perfectly wrapped gift in between her hands, bragging about having wrapped it yourself since the guy from the store wasn’t very good at it.

you watched as ellie tried her best not to rip the wrapping paper and open it carefully.

“it’s okay if you rip it,” you clarified.

“no, you wrapped it.”

once she finally opened it, a smile began spreading across her lips. on her hands, there was a mug. it was similar to the one you had on your apartment, with different little and delicate drawings of cats. the only difference was that yours had details in dark red and hers in deep blue. there was also a handwritten card that read ‘i hope this becomes your favorite one (just so i can use it)’.

a laugh escaped her lips, rolling her eyes as she brought you in for a hug. “thank you, i love it.”

“yeah?”

“yup. i’ll keep using yours, though.”

“it’s fine, i’ll use yours.”

[totheblood]

I WISH I NEVER MET YOU. (2)

pairing: ex!ellie williams x reader

warnings: cursing, drinking, bitchy ellie, bitchy reader

a/n: . ellie sings in this one... ai audios in the fic <3 reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.3k

"texted and saw you read it, lately i'm so pathetic."

This was turning out to be the worst trip you have ever been on.

It was one thing to be stuck in a house with your ex-girlfriend who hates your guts, but it was another thing to be stuck with her and her new girlfriend. Her new perfectly pretty and normal girlfriend who was probably going to give her everything she ever wanted. Who probably made her happy. You don’t know why that thought upset you so much.  

You ignored the pit in your stomach as you hauled the bags out of the back of Cora’s car and into the house. The comfort this place used to give you now had a sour tinge to it. This would now be forever known as the place where you watched your ex-girlfriend move on. The worst part was that you deserved this. Whatever sick and twisted game Ellie was playing, you deserved, and you knew that. 

As you approached the French doors, Jesse burst through them, arms coming up to squeeze you tightly. You laughed as he took the air out of you, lifting you up from your spot, your bags dropping in your hand. 

“If it isn’t Miss Lemon Drop,” Jesse beamed, putting you down and examining your face, touching it with his bare hand “You look older.”

“Oh, shut up,” you swatted his hand away from your face, a smile plastered across it, “aren’t you pushing thirty?” 

“I’m 25,” he shook his head laughing, picking up your bags and helping you bring them inside, “and I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Jess,” you pulled him into a hug, needing the comfort that only he could provide. 

“What’s wrong?” Pulling away, his eyes searched your face frantically. He always knew when something was up with you. You were not convinced he couldn’t read your mind. 

“Nothi-” your voice was cut off by the sound of laughter coming through the door. June, with her long blonde hair, was giggling as she held onto Ellie’s arm, Ellie holding two pink bags on her other arm. They were clearly not her luggage. 

“Oh,” was all Jesse said as he gave you a pitiful look and pushed past you to greet Ellie and her new ‘friend’. 

They all began laughing and hugging, the introductions overflowing as they stood in the foyer. Deciding you didn’t want anything to do with it, you picked your bags up and made your way up the stairs to the room you usually stayed in. Plopping your shit down, you laid down on the bed, closing your eyes for just a moment. You needed to catch your breath for a moment away from everyone. The peace was just starting to set in as the door swung open and in walked Ellie.

You leaned up on your elbows, giving her a confused look as you watched June’s figure appear behind her. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, tone still laced with coldness, however, there was a much lighter air to it now. She was trying to save face in front of her new girlfriend.

“Resting on my bed,” you replied matter-of-factly, looking towards the bags in her hand. 

“This is our room,” Ellie stated, pursing her lips before giving a quick glance to June who opened her eyes slightly, giving Ellie a knowing look.

“This has always been my room,” you looked at her, sitting up straighter now.

“Yeah, but it’s the only other one with a double bed,” Ellie put the bags down on the large dresser, shaking her head and shrugging, “and you don’t really have anyone to share the bed with.”

June snorted from her place in the doorway, causing you to look at her with a scowl on her face. Ellie was smirking to herself as she pushed her hands into her pockets. 

“You could share the guest room with Faye,” she offered, the stupid smirk still on her face, “I mean that was usually my bed but you are free to have it.”

“You’re too kind, Ellie,” you gave her a sickly sweet smile. If this was the game she was playing, you would be playing just as hard. Smiling, you picked up your bags and turned to June who was still standing in the doorway, “I guess we both get sloppy seconds this trip.” 

With that, you pushed past her and down the hallway. That would have been satisfying if you hadn’t felt snubbed by Ellie. When you opened the guest bedroom Faye was already sitting on her bed, phone in hand as she texted. You didn’t know Faye that well, but you still got along. She smiled when she saw you, putting her phone away as she got up to hug you.

“Oh my god,” She laughed as she squeezed you, “You’re staying with me?”

“Yeah,” you smiled, hugging her back before dropping your things on the ground, “Ellie and her new girlfriend stole my room.”

She looked at you with wide eyes, “Ellie has a girlfriend?” She gasped as she moved back to sit on her bed. You picked your stuff up again, moving around to place them on your bed.

“Yup,” you said, popping your lips on the ‘p’, “she’s very pretty, glossy lips type. You know now that I mention it, she’s more like your type.” 

Faye squinted at you before rolling her eyes as her cheeks tinged a deeper color. Faye was probably the most outwardly open out of the group. She grew up in a fairly liberal family that allowed her to express herself from a very early age. Due to that, she never shied away from her sexuality. She liked women, and she let them know, but she never was the committed type. A fuckboy of sorts.

But beyond that, Faye was just nice. She knew how to listen and give advice without sounding condescending, always sitting close to you with a warm hand on your back. And she was pretty, insanely pretty with chocolate brown eyes and perfectly tanned skin. Faye was dreamy wrapped up in a 5’5 body.

“What do you know about my type?” She joked, eyes watching you as you began to unpack your things.

“I’ve been out with you,” you laughed, pulling clothes from your bag and moving to put them in the closet, “I’ve seen who you’ve gone home with.”

She giggled, getting up again to help you hang stuff up. She was so nice that it pissed you off sometimes. It mostly pissed you off when you thought that she and Ellie had a thing before she revealed to you that she was more into femmes. The jealousy subsided, but the wish that you were more like her remained. 

“Maybe I’ll steal her from Ellie,” she smirked as she collected the rest of your things, holding them to you as you put them in the closet.

“You?” you scoffed, a smile dancing on your lips, “yeah right.”

“Hey,” she pouted, nudging you with her shoulder, “I’m not that ugly.”

“No!” you yelled, stopping for a moment and looking at her, “Not like- I didn’t mean it like that. You’re pretty, really fucking pretty. It’s just that you’re too nice to steal anyone’s girlfriend.”

Her cheeks tinged pink again, “You think I’m nice?” 

“Shut up.”

When the clothes were put away and sorted, you and Faye went downstairs for lunch. The dining room was large and scattered with fruit, small premade and cut-up sandwiches, and little eateries. You never got used to how rich Cora actually was. But when you got there, June and Ellie were already at the table. Ellie was feeding June a grape,  June’s legs splattered over Ellie’s lap. Her free hand held firmly onto her thigh. You wanted to throw up. However, when you looked at Faye, she also looked like she wanted to throw up.

Quickly, she pulled you out of the room and back down the hallway, her breath heavy. 

“Faye, what the fuck?” you whisper yelled, looking into her eyes as they kept glancing to the opening down the hallway to the dining room. 

“That’s my ex-girlfriend,” She whispered back.

“Your what?”

“My ex-girlfriend,” she repeated.

“I thought you didn’t date,” your face had confusion etched into it.

“I don’t,” she whispered shaking her breath, “not since her.”

“Oh,” you replied, feeling a little relieved that this trip wouldn’t just suck for you.

“You need to pretend to be my girlfriend,” Faye demanded, her face serious. You burst out laughing, but when she didn’t even crack a smile, your laughter faded.

“I can’t-”

“It will make Ellie jealous,” She replied quickly, eyes frantic and wide, almost like she was begging, “Please, I cant make her think she has one up on me.”

“She doesn’t have one up on you,” you tried to remind her.

“Except she does,” she sighed, “she’s able to move on, and I’m not. Even after 3 years.”

You took a deep breath. The idea of making Ellie jealous made your heart flip in the best way possible. Even though you ended things, you still wanted her to want you. You were pretty sure you still wanted her. It also wouldn’t hurt to help Faye out. Maybe living in the delusion that you were in a happy relationship was the only thing you needed to get past this trip without multiple meltdowns. 

“Fine,” you spat out, “but it needs to look realistic. You need to be all touchy with me.”

“Easy,” she coughed for a moment, “done.”

Faye stuck her hand in your back pocket as you made your way down the hallway and back out into the dining room. You pretended to fake laugh at something she said, putting your hand on her waist as you entered the room. The laugh caused both Ellie and June to look up at the two of you. To really play it off you quickly separated yourself from Faye as if you had been caught. You looked towards Ellie who had a blank look on her face, her lips turned downwards as she looked between you and Faye. 

“Faye?” June asked voice sing songy as she stood up and ran to give her a hug. Faye didn’t hug back, just lightly stepped back as she placed her arm around your shoulders. 

“June,” she looked at you with a shocked face as if this was her first time noticing her. Get this girl a fucking Oscar, you thought, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m with,” she turned around, gesturing to Ellie who gave a small smile and waved to Faye before her eyes drifted back to her phone, ignoring the arm placed around your shoulder, “I’m here with my girlfriend, Ellie.”

“How do you two know each other, babe?” you asked, looking at Faye and then back to June. June paused, looking between the both of you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. 

“We, um,” Faye started, pretending to not know what to say. 

“We used to date,” June blurted out quickly, a cocky smile on her face. 

“It’s so cool how we have the same taste in women,” you smirked at June, pushing past her with your hand lodged in Faye’s to grab a pre-cut sandwich from the table, taking a bite of it and sitting down across from Ellie. You made a conscious choice to not say anything to her, but she looked mad. She was on her phone at this point, pretending (and failing) to act like she didn’t hear the conversation. But you could tell from the way her eyebrows twisted, and her nervous habit of biting her nails that she heard the entire thing and did not like it. 

Ellie knew she was a mess as she kept her head low. Get up and leave, her mind rang over and over. She was frozen in place, staring at her phone and trying not to drown in the scent of you. She moved on, she was better, so why did she feel like this? Why did it still gnaw at her stomach to see someone else touch you? Why did she care when you made it clear you didn’t care about her?

Ellie’s mind was flooded with images of you daily. Her fingernails digging into the sides of your hips, the weight of you next to her in bed, the way she had a permanent smile around you. All of it felt like an open wound, deep and fleshy, and no matter how much she stitched it up, it would open again. Her brain was all noise as she did her best to not look up at you, to not look at you intertwined with Faye. 

She couldn’t help but compare herself to her at this moment. Was she not as nice as Faye? Or as pretty? What about Faye made you pick her over Ellie? Was she softer with you? What about her did Ellie not have? Ellie didn’t even realize she was holding her breath till June placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m going upstairs, El,” she whispered lowly, “might take a nap.”

“Cool,” Ellie smiled, leaning up to give her a quick peck on the lips, “I’m going outside.” 

Finally, Ellie stood from her place, not taking a second glance at you before heading outside to where the hydrangeas littered the garden and the expansive still pool hummed lightly. Placed out there was her guitar, covered where she had left it a few weeks prior. Taking it out she started strumming, singing a song she only started when you had broken up with her. 

“I’ve been having a hard time adjusting. I’ve had the shinest wheels now they’re rusting.”

She began singing, the song getting caught up in the hair. With the strum of the guitar and her mind somewhere distant, she didn’t notice you tiptoeing out into the garden. She didn’t notice you intently listening to her lyrics, in a song that she wrote for you.

“I didn’t know if you cared if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that.”

This lyric came a month after the breakup, her fingers scrolling through the wall of texts you left her. She hadn’t replied to a single one, assuming that you didn’t really care what happened to her anymore. She thought that maybe if she didn’t have all this pain brewing in her chest, she wouldn’t feel this way anymore about you, but that was a lie. The more she left unsaid, and the more she assumed you never wanted her around, the more she hated you. 

“Pulled the car off the road to the lookout. Could’ve followed my fears all the way down.”

She drove out to your spot one day, eyes still red and puffy from weeks of crying. She was doing this to torture herself, in some sort of sadistic way she was punishing herself for you leaving her. This was the place she started realizing that she may never be enough for anyone, and that deep-rooted fear of ending up alone was still alive and well. 

Snap. 

You stepped on a branch and she stopped playing, turning around to face you but sighing deeply when she saw you. 

“Can we please not do this?” She sighed, watching as you made your way around the fire pit and sat next to her, “I really don’t have the energy.”

“It’s a beautiful song,” you commented. You never knew what you were doing when it came to her. Your feet moved long before your brain ever did. 

“Thanks,” She shuffled in her seat, staring down at her worn-out Converse. 

 “I just want to say that,” you took a deep breath, looking away from her and out into the backyard where the light was hitting the grass, “I am happy for you. You seem really happy with June.”

“Are you really?” She chuckled lightly, “Cause you were kind of an asshole back there.”

“I know,” You sighed, looking at her now, “I guess I don’t know how to handle seeing you with someone else. Just wasn’t prepared.”

She scoffed at that shaking her head. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. Ever,” you tried to reason with her.

“Well, you did,” her voice was small again.

“And I’m sorry,” you pleaded with her, “I have been apologizing forever for this.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” she sighed, “I want you to want me.”

“I have wanted you, Ellie. For so long. But things aren’t that simp-”

“Oh, cut it with the ‘things aren’t simple’ shit! I loved you and you didn't love me. That’s simple. It doesn’t get any simpler than that but save me the fucking theatrics. You owe me more than that,” it was going down that road again and you were nervous the trip would be over before it started. 

“I did love you,” you replied watching her eyes shift for a moment, the light reflecting in them beautifully, before she was scoffing again and shaking her head, “I did love you!”

“Bullshit!” she spoke over you, standing from her place now, her hand tightly wrapped around the guitar.

“Ellie, just because you are insecure you don’t get to act like I didn’t feel what I felt,” you stood, voice faltering as you spoke, the words getting caught up in your throat, “you don’t want to believe I loved you so you can feel sorry for yourself but you never once heard me out or cared about what I had to say. You just needed to feel like the victim so you could hate me.”

“I don’t hate you!” She yelled back, standing straighter now watching as anger was written all over your face, in your scrunched-up nose and doe eyes- What the fuck was happening to her?

“You sure treat me like you do,” you crossed your arms over your chest, watching as she placed her guitar on the chair and took a steadying breath.

“I hate the situation,” she breathed out, “I hate that I loved you so much and it still didn’t work out in the end. I hate that no matter what I do and wherever I go I will always have to compare whoever I’m with to you. And god forbid I meet anyone that holds a candle to you, I would just… I would lose my fucking mind thinking about all the ways they could leave me and I would have to be reminded of you again. You, who probably years into the future, I will still love. I hate that you did this to me. I hate that no matter what I do, no matter what you do to me, I will always love you.”

You were winded by her confession, by her wild eyes, and how defeated she looked as she stood in front of you. All of it overwhelmed your senses. You reached out for her hand, head bowed as you took a step towards her. Her breath hitched in her throat as you stepped closer. 

“I love you, Ellie,” you whispered, looking up at her. You were so close to her now you could hear her ragged breathing. She leaned in closer about to make a move or say something, honestly, you were unsure what was about to happen next because you were cut off by the sound of the back door slamming open and Jesse and Orion lugging a cooler outside. 

As if she was snapped back into reality, Ellie took a quick step away from you, her eyes completely glossed over as she made her way back inside without another word.

What the fuck just happened?

[savannahsdeath]

HEAR ME OUT I HAVE A REQ!!!!

Sooo basically Ellie being the mafia boss and reader being her precious girlfriend that she (and basically the whole mafia gang) protects.... Idk it could be a fic or just a oneshot but I NEED MAFIA ELLIE IN MY LIFE

HEARING YOU OUT !!

MAFIA!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! just some typical mafia shit idk

writers note: focused more on life life than romantic life in this one BUT maybe, just maybe, I'll do a part2 with more love scenes (basically a smut)

being a housewife for your mafia boss girlfriend wasn't something you were dreaming about as a kid, but you like it. ellie's buddies are loud, suspicious, they make lots of inappropriate jokes or act all posessive but they would never hurt you. in fact, they won't let anyone hurt you.

today, just like every friday, she brings them home to play cards and talk. you, of course, had to clean the whole house. ellie didn't ask you to do that - her people weren't.. the cleanest people anyway, but you couldn't stand the thought of your guests finding a layer of dust on a shelf or a ball of hair in the bathroom.

the doorbell rings and you run up to greet them, and, mainly, see ellie. as you open the door, you're presented with a bunch of burly men and only one, but your favourite, woman.

"good evening, mrs williams." smiles the first one, before entering.

the feeling of being called by ellie's last name was still new to you, but it sent a warm feeling from your heart down to your stomach.

you stand back and watch as the men enter, filling out your living room. they seem more at ease than usual, and you're sure ellie is to blame. they greet you with a smile, before stepping aside to reveal ellie last.

"hey, babe." ellie says, as she wraps her arms around you and pulls you in close. she smiles up at you, with those green eyes of hers. she leans in for a kiss, and you gladly give in to her, feeling her soft lips on yours. you get lost in the moment, forgetting to breathe and not pulling away for a quite long time, only making a break when it's really needed.

"c'mon, ellie, or we'll start playing without you!" one of the men calls out from the dining table.

the men's voices in the background quickly fade away as you are consumed in the moment.

ellie, though, pulls away, and laughs. "i'm coming, i'm coming!" she shouts before letting go of you and walking towards the dining table, with you trailing behind her.

you happily take a seat on ellie's lap, as you both set your eyes on the deck of cards. as she shuffles the cards, you watch in adoration of her every movement. you are quickly snapped out of your trance when you felt something touch your leg, and you see ellie looking at you with a sly grin on her face.

she leans in and whispers; "don't move too much, 'kay?"

she winks and starts to deal out the cards.

usually you tried to avoid looking at ellie's cards - your 'poker face' wasn't really working and your reaction could make her lose. this time, you didn't pay attention to the rules, so you didn't have to avoid it. you didn't know wether her cards are good or useless anyway.

you find yourself not paying much attention to the game, instead getting caught up in the conversations around you. you happily listen to the others, learning more about their business dealings. you don't know much about poker or card games, and you aren't the best at lying, so you keep yourself out of the game.

you start to feel the warmth of ellie's soft, loving touches, as she plays with your hair or strokes your thigh.

the evening continues on with you, ellie and the other men playing a few rounds. you watch her intently, noticing every little detail about her body language and facial expressions. even you couldn't read her poker face, though.

you slowly reach for her hand, and begin to play with it a little, twirling her fingers.

that's one of the good sides of being a mafia boss's wife, but there's also the.. well, worse ones.

they visited you again and you could tell something's wrong straight ahead - it was tuesday. you came back from a walk to see a man tied to a chair in your kitchen. he had pieces of cloth wrapped around his head - one around his eyes and the other in his mouth, making him lose ability to see or speak.

"what do we do with him?" another man asked, one you knew from the friday evenings.

ellie was about to say something before she noticed you, awkwardly standing in the doorstep, scared and too surprised to move. she quickly grabs your arm and steers you out of the kitchen.

"it's okay, love. don't worry, it has nothing to do with you. just stay in the other room, alright? i'll come grab you in a bit. it'll be okay." ellie says reassuringly, as she leads you into the living room.

you hear the sound of the man in the kitchen making muffled sounds, as he struggles and squirms in his chair.

ellie sits you down on the couch, and then walks out of the room. you feel uneasy as you hear the man in the kitchen continue making sounds, but you sit quietly as ellie tells you to.

you watch as the door to the kitchen slowly closes behind ellie, and you hear muffled shouting and noises coming from inside. the others come into the living room, to check on you and see if you're okay.

"hey, everything alright? did ellie tell you what's going on?" one of them asks. "don't worry, it'll all be over soon. we just gotta deal with him quickly."

you can hear the muffled shouting in the kitchen continue, and the other men around you try to ignore it. as they discuss business deals, and joke about various topics, you continue to feel a pit in your stomach, worrying about what is happening in the kitchen. they don't seem eager to tell you what is going on, but they try to keep you distracted. one of them tries to joke with you, but you barely respond, as your mind is focused on what is happening in the next room. you start to feel sick, and your face starts to feel hot.

"what is she doing?" you ask quietly, but as soon as you realize your voice doesn't reveal your fear and confusion you add in a louder tone; "who is he?"

the room goes quiet, as the others hear you speak up. you can see some of the men exchange worried glances, but they still try to keep their composure in front of you. it doesn't do much to help you feel better, as you look at them with fear in your eyes.

the others look among themselves, as if asking what to do, before one of them speaks up. "you know this isn't really something you need to worry about," he says, trying to put a calming tone on his voice. "but since you ask, he's just a guy working for a rival gang. he was trying to get some information on us, so we need to... erm... make sure he won't do it again."

you notice how vague their answer was, as they try to keep you in the dark. at the same time, the meaning was painfully obvious.

you take a moment to process what the man said, before speaking up again. "but.. why here, in our house?" you ask, with your voice still shaky. "surely you must have your places to do... business?"

another man steps in to answer, trying to calm you down with words that sound too well rehearsed.

"no need to worry about a thing." the other man says, in an overly reassuring voice. "like i said, it isn't really your problem. you know, these guys always try to stick their noses where it doesn't belong. your girl here is just showing him the consequences of messing with the wrong people, alright?"

you feel like they are trying to brush off your concerns, and you doubt that they're being completely truthful with you. you knew it's probably just to protect you but you wanted to know everything.

the muffled shouting in the kitchen slowly dies down, and there's only occasional sounds of movement from inside - probably someone cleaning up the mess you could only imagine was done.

you are left feeling confused and anxious, unsure of what happened in the kitchen, or how this will play out.

later, when you were laying in bed in your lace nightgown which ellie loved seeing you in oh so much, you managed to get the tied up man out of your head.

that's what i should expect anyways, right?

ellie just came to the bedroom after taking a shower, her wet hair glued to her face. she kisses you on the cheek, before walking over and climbing onto the bed next to you. you look at her, and notice that something seems off about her behaviour.

"how did it go?" you ask, referring to the events that happened earlier.

ellie is taking her time in answering you, and you notice a slight hesitation in her voice. "it went... well. it's nothing you should worry about, love. besides..." she leans towards you and whispers; "i handled it, alright? you don't need to concern yourself with it." she plays with your hair, making it look like she's trying to distract both you and herself from thinking about it.

you watch as ellie's wet hair drips onto the bed. she continues to stroke your head, trying to give you the impression that everything is fine.

was it really fine? oh, well...

[finnsbubblegum]

I Don’t Deserve You {Part 2} (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, protective joel, age gap (reader is in her 20s and Joel is in his 50s), stalking, sexual assault attempt (lmk if i missed any)

Summary: You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight.  But he felt insecure.

Words count: 2.9k 

A/N: This is part 2 for I Don’t Deserve You Part 1. Thank you to everyone who read my fanfic! 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

It was a usual Monday after the night Joel saved you from Josh. You woke up early and got ready to work and meet your students. 

“Good morning, kids! How was your weekend?” You asked the students with a soft tone.

“I watched a movie with my dad last night!” A girl shouted.

“It was my birthday yesterday!” Another girl shouted.

They were active and you were always happy to listen to their stories. Their stories were always interesting to you. You loved how children were so pure and innocent. 

“Oh really? Well, happy birthday to you! Why don’t we all sing happy birthday to Samantha?” 

You invited the other students to sing the Happy Birthday song for Samantha. Each of the students followed your clap and sang the Happy Birthday song together. The day went and it was already time for the class to be dismissed. 

“Okay everyone! Class is dismissed! Don’t forget to do your homework!”

Everyone was packing their bags hurriedly and you glanced at the door. The door had a rectangle transparent glass and you saw Joel. When he caught your eye, he quickly hid. You found him so cute and felt butterflies in your stomach. It felt like you were in your teenage years all over again. You shook your head and smiled. The kids were starting to leave one by one and you began to pack your stuff on the table. 

“I saw you there Joel.” You teased Joel who was still hiding.

“Uhm.. Sorry.” He slowly walked inside the class and cleared his throat.

“You caught me.” He smiled shyly and put his hand on the nape of his neck.

“Are you stalking me now?” You joked.

“Absolutely not. I was just around and thought I’d stop by to see how you’re teaching the kids. Hope you didn’t teach them curse words.” He joked remembering his last joke at the bar that was cut off by Josh’s appearance.

“Of course not.” You scoffed and slightly hit his chest. 

“Are you heading home now?” Joel put his hands on his waist.

“Yes, all the kids have gone home so I should go home now.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Joel gestured a movement from his hands as if he was asking you to follow him.

“Sure. Thank you.” You grabbed your purse and jacket.

Joel wasn’t actually around the area. He was not patrolling that day and couldn’t keep thinking about last night. He was worried that Josh might come to you and bother you again. After thinking about it for a few hours, he decided to visit you at school and walk you home. He thought that it was the least thing he could do to protect you. Without realizing it, he was starting to have feelings towards you. 

“Do you want to come in and have dinner with me tonight? I can cook something for us.” You hoped Joel would say yes before you got in your house.

“Sure. Ellie is making friends now so she often stays out late.” 

“Great. Come in.” You welcomed Joel.

You hung your jacket and Joel did the same. 

“Please make yourself at home while I cook dinner.” You smiled at Joel.

Joel nodded and sat on the sofa in your living room. You walked to your kitchen, opened your fridge and took out some ingredients. 

“Can I help you with somethin’?” Joel suddenly stood up and walked towards you.

“No, no. I’m good. Let me serve you dinner tonight.” Joel was your guest so you wanted to serve him.

“Okay.” Joel walked away and started to look around your house.

“You have a lot of books.” Joel stopped at your bookshelf.

“Oh, yes. I love to read. I’m a teacher.” You laughed.

“Right.” Joel chuckled.

After a few moments of banter while you were preparing dinner, you were finally done.

“Dinner’s ready.” You called for Joel.

He looked back from the sofa and hurried his way to the dining table.

“Smells good.” He sniffed.

You both started eating. You were nervous because you were scared Joel might not like your cooking. And your legs were shaking under the table.

“Hmm.. It’s delicious. Thank you.” Joel praised your food.

“Phew.. I was scared you didn’t like it.” You sighed.

“Are you kidding? This is the best meal I’ve ever had in the past 20 years.” He chuckled as he shoved another spoonful of your cooking.

“Thank you, Joel. You’re really sweet.” You were touched hearing his words.

The two of you had conversations as you finished your dinner. 

“Let me wash the dishes. You cooked so I will wash the dishes.” Joel offered.

“Sure.” You gave your dishes to Joel.

You watched him from behind and got lost in your fantasy. You were imagining a life where you and Joel lived under the same roof as family. And you were the wife making dinner for your husband when he got off from work. He looked dashing from behind and his shoulder was broad. You imagined how it would feel kissing him. But you didn’t want to rush so you had to hold yourself. You hit your head and got back to reality. 

“Done.” Joel wiped his hands with a towel.

“Thank you, Joel. For washing the dishes.” 

“It’s nothin’. You cooked for me so it’s fair if I wash the dishes.” He shook his head.

You wondered how a man like him treated you so nice. You kept wondering why he didn’t come into your life sooner. Then you remembered why. You were half his age. But you didn’t care. As long as he made you happy, you didn’t care about anything.

You and Joel spent a few hours hanging out at your house then it was time for him to go home.

“I should probably head home.” Joel looked at you.

“Yeah, sure. Thank you for walking me home today.”

“Anytime. Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.” Joel thanked you.

You chuckled as you walked him to your door and grabbed his jacket.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Sure. See you tomorrow.” You waved your hand goodbye to Joel.

The next day, Joel came and picked you up from work. He walked you home and had dinner with you for the second day, third day, fourth day, and it went on and on. Except when it was his turn to go on patrol, he couldn’t walk you home. But he would always tell you in advance if he couldn’t walk you home. 

Joel and you often hung out in the city as well. Since you got close with Joel, Josh had never shown up. He just stared at you from afar but he had never approached you. You even had less guys flirting with you. As time went by, people were starting to recognize your relationship with him. People were making rumors and talking about you and Joel. They were talking about how far your age gap was and how Joel didn’t deserve you. He was old and ruthless but you were young and kind. You didn’t care what anyone said. Joel had never hurt you, he was always respectful, he was definitely not like what other people said. As a matter of fact, Joel had never been kind to anyone but you. 

Your feelings towards Joel have grown deeper and deeper. On the other side, you had no idea how Joel felt towards you. Did he like you or did he just see you as a kid who needed protection? But you didn’t want this to end so you kept your feelings hidden until it was 2 months since you and Joel spent time together. You couldn’t hold your feelings hidden any longer.

It was another usual dinner with Joel. You watched him as he was walking outside your front porch. 

“Joel.” You stopped him before he walked his way home.

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows and looked back.

“Can I ask you something?” You wiped your sweaty hands to your jeans.

“Sure. What is it?” He walked his way back to your porch where you were standing, resting his hands on the handrail.

“What are we, Joel? I mean - I - I like you, Joel.” You confessed your feelings to Joel and stepped closer to him.

Instead of telling you the way he felt about you, he took a step back. 

“No.” His voice was really low, he shook his head and looked down.

Your eyes were getting blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” Joel quickly walked away from you.

“Joel.. Please..” You tried to stop him but you thought it was better to stay.

You were heartbroken. You went to your bedroom, covered your face with your pillow and cried all night.

On his way home, Joel was also heartbroken. He couldn’t see you cry like that, especially because of him. He regretted leaving you hanging like that. He wished he could hug you and comfort you. But he knew he shouldn’t. He had heard the rumors and he agreed to what people were saying. He regretted treating you nice if it would end up breaking your heart. He shouldn’t give you hope in the first place. Since then, Joel started avoiding you. He didn’t walk you home and didn’t have dinner with you. You and Joel ended just like that.

You hadn’t seen Joel since. Your days went so slow. Days felt weeks, weeks felt months, months felt years. It has been a month and you hated this feeling. You wanted closure so you decided to find Joel. You walked to his house and knocked on his door.

“Hi!” It was Ellie.

“Uhm.. Hi! Is Joel home?” You asked Ellie.

“Yeah! Joel! Someone’s here looking for you!” Ellie shouted and called Joel.

Joel made his way down stairs and his eyes widened when he saw you at his front door.

“We need to talk, please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel gestured to Ellie to go, he closed the door and invited you to sit on the patio chairs at his front porch.

You sat with him but he didn’t say anything. So you started the conversation.

“Did I do something wrong, Joel?” You tried to find what was wrong to fix your relationship with him.

“No.” He replied coldly.

“It’s okay. Just tell me, Joel. Let me fix us.” You begged him.

“It’s not you. It’s me.” Joel wanted the best for you.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. What do you mean?” You were confused.

“I know you heard about the rumors. They were right. I don’t deserve you. I’m old. I’ve done bad things. I’ve killed people. And you’re young, beautiful…inside out, kind, perfect and everythin’. You deserve someone way better than me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started anythin’ with you. I realized I was crossin’ the line, that's why it’s better that I stopped before I hurt you more.” Joel put his elbow on his knees as he explained to you.

“That’s not right. I don’t care what people say, Joel. You treated me so nice. You’ve never hurt me. You protect me, Joel.” You shook your head in denial.

“Don’t you get it? I don’t deserve you.” Joel started to raise his voice.

“No, Joel. Please. Give me a chance. I can’t live without you. Please. Give us a chance.” You cried as you begged him.

Joel wanted to cry but he held it. He didn’t want to look weak. Instead he stood up and asked you to leave. 

“I promise I won’t see you again.” Joel’s words made your heart even wretched.

“Joel, please..don’t..Can you at least give me a hug as a goodbye? Please?” You grabbed his wrist.

Joel wanted to hug you. He really did. But it would just make him change his mind. If he hugged you, he might not be able to let you go. So he let go of your hand and walked inside his house. You cried so loud and kneeled in front of his door. Hoping for Joel to come out and change his mind, but a few hours went by and he didn’t appear. You were getting hopeless so you decided to go home. You cried on your walk and you didn’t realize someone was following you. You grabbed your keys and went inside your house. Someone was holding your door before you closed it. 

“Joel?” You hoped Joel was following you home.

“Nuh-uh baby. It’s me. Josh.” Josh smirked.

You gasped and started to shake. 

“Wh-what are you do-doing?” Josh could hear you were scared.

“I told you that old man is no good, baby. You should have been with me in the first place. I wouldn’t make you cry. I’m way better than him. That old man knows it. He really doesn’t deserve you. But I deserve you.” It turned out that Josh had been stalking you and he was eavesdropping your conversation with Joel.

“No. Josh. Please get out of my house.” You tried to act like you were not scared but he could see you were shaking.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. You’re mine now.” Josh claimed you as his because he knew Joel wouldn’t be there to protect you from him anymore.

“No, please go.” You walked backwards as he slowly walked towards you.

On the other side, Joel kept thinking about what he had said to you. He knew it was for the best but somehow he felt something weird in his heart. He guessed maybe he should have hugged you goodbye. He didn’t hear your cries anymore so he decided to walk to your house. He saw your door was left open and he heard a loud thud and your scream. Joel’s heart was beating faster as he rushed inside your house.

“Stay still!” Josh was on top of you, holding your hands, trying to take off your pants.

“Josh, stop it!” You tried to push Josh away but he was too heavy.

Joel’s eyes widened as he was shocked to see what was happening. He ran towards you, grabbed Josh from behind and threw him aside. Josh was hurting laying on the floor. Joel’s eyes locked on Josh and punched him over and over again. Josh’s face was full of blood and he was begging for Joel to stop. 

“Don’t you ever touch her again! You lay a hand on her again, I’ll break your arm!” Joel lifted Josh by his collar and yelled at his face.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Josh begged Joel for his life.

“Now get the fuck out of this house and never show your face again!” Joel pointed his finger towards the door as he raised his voice again.

Joel closed the door after Josh crawled his way out of your house. You were in shock, crying, hyperventilating, shaking, and holding your ripped shirt to cover yourself. You had never seen Joel like this before. He was scary when he was angry just like what other people in the town talked about.  

“Hey, are you okay?” Joel’s voice was different from seconds ago.

He sounded very soft. He took off his jacket and put it on you. 

“I got you, babygirl. I got you.” He looked at you with worried eyes. (TLOU ep 8 reference 😘)

He wiped your tears with his thumb and hugged you. His hands rubbed your back in circles until your breathing was normal again. 

“Can you stand?” He asked you.

You nodded and guided him to your bedroom. He kept holding your arm, holding your weight as you walked. You opened your closet to get new clothes and changed into a new one. Joel faced the wall as you changed your clothes. He was always respectful to you. Not like the other guys you had met.

“Here.” You gave Joel his jacket back.

“Do you want me to stay?” He thought he would stay for the night to make sure you were safe.

“Will you?” You asked Joel with your puppy eyes as you sat on the bed.

“Of course, darlin’. I don’t want Josh to come here again and hurt you.” Joel walked to your bedroom door.

“Where are you going? I thought you’re staying.” You were confused.

“I am. I’m sleepin’ on the couch.” 

You chuckled. Everytime he did or said something, you fell in love with him more.

“Joel, stay here.” You pat the empty space beside you on your bed.

“No. I shouldn’t.” He still kept his chivalry.

“Joel, please. I don’t think I can sleep if you’re not next to me. I feel safe when I’m with you. Please.” You begged Joel.

“Okay.” Joel shyly moved his way to your bed and laid beside you.

You moved closer to him, put your head on his chest, and rested your hands on his stomach. You could hear his heart beating faster and his body was stiff because of your movements. Joel took a deep breath and put his arms around you. He rubbed your back in circles.

“I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you. But can I get that chance for our relationship? Give me a chance to be better for you?” He rested his chin on your head.

“You should stop being insecure, Joel. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. All the guys who flirted with me.. They weren't like you. I know for a fact they only want to get in my pants. But you’re different. Am I right?” You caressed his chest.

“No. You’re wrong.” You were shocked by his joke and raised your head to face him.

“I’m joking. Relax.” He laughed.

“Don’t ever do that again.” You put your head back to his chest and hit his chest.

“Oh! You’re bleeding! We need to get your fist cleaned up!” You took his hands worriedly.

“Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ve been worse.” Joel chuckled and kissed your forehead.

“Okay, then.” You kissed his bleeding fist that saved you from Josh. 

The two of you spent the night cuddling, talking and getting to know each other. Joel told you about his past, Sarah, and Ellie as you drift into your sleep. 

To be continued...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

[alrightieaphroditie]

harder | j.m  series masterlist!

pairing *:·ﾟjoel miller x female!reader wc *:·ﾟ5.7k warnings *:·ﾟ18+! minors please do not interact!! v angsty at first, mentions of death and overall sad topics... then we go into a lil bit of kissing, some dirty talk if you squint, teasing, pet names (baby, sugar), titty play, some praise, probably poorly written smut lmao an *:·ﾟit's been a hot second since i tried writing smut and damn am i insecure about it lmaoo this took longer than anticpated too because i sadly lost half of it almost immediately after writing it... so yeah. feedback is hella appreciated on this, and it isn't quite proofread so if you catch something please let me know!! i enjoyed writing this (like a lot) so i really hope you all enjoy reading this! <3 

synopsis *:·ﾟever since the dinner at your place, joel and ellie have fit themselves into your life seamlessly. when joel gets back from a hunting trip, he comes over and shows you some new tricks. (18+!)

over the course of a couple months, joel and ellie had fit themselves into your life like puzzle pieces. 

the pair would come over to your house once a week every week after that first dinner together, and sometimes you would cook, sometimes you'd grab some food to go from the tipsy bison. they would help you set the table, ellie nagging joel most nights about how slow he was moving to put the silverware around the table. you would all eat, then ellie would sneak into the living room while you and joel cleaned together. and then the three of you would sit around your coffee table, playing board games or cards. or you'd go to see the movie playing in town, or you'd go for a walk around the neighborhood. 

these nights with them quickly became your favorite moments of the week. you had formed a close bond with ellie, and the more time you spent with joel, the harder you fell for him. most nights ellie would fall asleep in the guest room you had set up for her, and you and joel would spend hours talking together out on the porch like you did that first night. 

sometimes you'd talk about nothing major. he'd comment on how the greenhouses were doing, which was where you helped the community out the most, and it would get you talking about all the vegetables and flowers you were trying to grow. or you'd ask how his patrol shift went, and he'd complain to you about his partner. it was small talk, but with someone like joel, it meant a lot to you that he was willing to simply sit on your wooden bench beside you and listen. 

sometimes, after a long week, you'd make joel a glass of whiskey (which you had started to keep around simply for the man. how he didn't know how much you crushed on him was beyond you. maybe it was his age.) and you'd talk about the harder things. your time spent in the bunker your family built. how your best friend was murdered by a group of hunters after they had kept you captive for weeks. how they used you. how you managed to kill them all while they slept because they got lazy and assumed you were too weak. 

joel had had a hard time listening to it, but he insisted that he wanted to hear about your past. the guilt he felt was indescribable. he wasn't the one to keep you captive, to use you, but with his past as a hunter he couldn't help but feel like he played a role in your pain. he had spent a lot of time repressing his emotions regarding that aspect of his life, but you encouraged him to talk about it. to feel his emotions. you told him over and over again that you didn't blame him, weren't scared of him. didn't judge him. 

it was hard for him to hear, to believe, but your consistency helped him more than he would ever admit. he was more welcome in jackson now than he was when he first arrived, mostly thanks to you, but he still felt like an outsider. like people were just waiting for a pin to drop and for him to reduce back into the monster of a man they claimed him to be. he was tired of trying to prove to everyone that he was simply just a man who survived the only way he knew how to. but with you? he didn't feel the need to apologize for who he was. he could settle with you, and that was something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

on the simpler nights, joel would talk about his life before the outbreak, how he and tommy worked in contracting and how he missed doing things with his hands. he'd talk about always being busy, always doing something, when the world turned. about how he was skeptical of the community when he and ellie first stumbled upon it because for once, for the first time since the outbreak, he wasn't constantly having to look over his shoulder for something bad. 

on the harder nights, the ones where joel felt like he needed more than one glass of liquor, he confided in you about sarah. about tess. about how his relationship with tommy had changed and he didn't know what he needed to do to fix it anymore. about his insecurities with ellie, how he didn't trust his mind anymore to make the right decisions when it came to her because he was too attached. 

he told you all of the things he swore he would never talk about again, and you simply sat there, listening, sharing his burden. the way your hand would rest gently on his arm while he talked, squeezing it every once in a while, to encourage him to go on, it provided him with a strength he didn't know he needed. 

joel didn't know this, but that night when he first told you about sarah and the events that happened on his birthday, after he and ellie had left, you spent the rest of your night crying in your bed. crying for joel, for the loss he had experienced. for how the world had turned and how he had to manage the loss of his own world on top of it. for how he was never properly able to grieve her death. 

you were beginning to see a side of joel you don't think anyone has seen in a long time. you were also starting to understand why joel miller was the man he is today. after learning about his past, his experiences, and his trauma, you recognized and could empathize why he felt the need to guard his heart the way he has been. it was a testament to his strength, how he could keep going while carrying all of that inside of him, and you admired the hell out him. 

and somehow, you had worked your way into his heart, through his guards. and joel may not have known it yet, but you were there to stay, and you would be for as long as he let you. 

you were constantly thinking about the man, your days spent replaying your conversations in your mind and getting giddy just remembering them. you honestly were a bit concerned, considering you've never felt this way about anyone before. you wanted to ask maria about it, but then she'd pester you into telling her who you were crushing over, and you didn't think it would go over too well considering joel was twice your age and, well, him. 

so, you kept it to yourself, letting your mind fantasize about what it would be like to actually be with joel, physically, romantically, all of it. 

you hadn't seen joel in a couple of days, as he was one of the men selected to go hunt. he wouldn't be back for a few more days, either, and you hated to admit it but you missed him. and you wondered if he missed you too. if he ever thought about you while he was away. he was so hard to read, even now, and sometimes you thought about just grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him while you unloaded all of your feelings onto him. 

but if there was one thing you knew about joel miller, it was that he would absolutely hate that. so... you kept it to yourself. 

you had just gotten home after spending all day in the greenhouse with ellie. maria had you showing her the vegetation that the community was working on, showing her the ins and outs of gardening and how to properly pick the fruit that was growing. she loved it, of course, and on her breaks, she spent most of the time sketching the different fruits and flowers in the little sketchbook joel had found for her. 

it was a good day, but a busy one, and you were exhausted. the sun was already starting to set, and you wanted to cuddle up on your couch with one of the romance novels your friend had brought you with a cup of tea. you were still dressed in your work outfit - a pair of olive-green linen pants and simple black cotton t-shirt - and you were already planning on stepping into your pajamas early when a knock on your door startled you. 

a glance through the little peephole on your door had your heart racing. joel was standing on your porch, one of his arms behind his back as he glanced around. you could see the muscles in his arm bulge against the faded red t-shirt he was wearing, and that sight alone could've fueled your fantasies for a month straight. 

a grin was plastered on your face as you unlocked the front door, and his dark eyes found yours easily through the screen door. "joel miller, as i live and breathe. what are you doin' here?" you adopted an exaggerated southern accent, something you and ellie started doing to poke fun of joel for his texan roots. he kept telling you guys it wasn't funny, but you could always see a small smile on his lips every time you did it.

even now as he rolled his eyes at you, you could see the edges of his mouth quirk up in a smirk, and fuck but you loved it. "you think you're so damn funny with that, don't you?" he asked, his gaze trailing down your body so quickly you almost missed it. but you didn't, and now your face was burning bright red. 

"ellie would agree with me and you know it, mister." you argued, pushing the screen door open for joel to come in. he didn't move, though, keeping his arm behind his back with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. you crossed your arms over your chest. "but for real, i thought you were gonna be out a few more days with everyone else?" it was rare that the hunting party would come back early, but not uncommon either. 

"didn't have much luck in the area we were in, so we figured we'd come back and regroup before leaving again. i found somethin' though," he trailed off, a full smile encompassing his mouth now. something you had learned about joel in your months of studying him was that gift giving was a huge thing for him. he mainly brought stuff back for ellie, but you've noticed lately that he had been finding little things here and there for you too. you wondered what that meant.

you could just barely make out the edges of something behind his legs, but you couldn't quit tell what it was. your arms slipped from your chest, your hands moving out and making a grabby motion. "you want me to close my eyes?" you teased, making a point of squinting your eyes so that you could see just a sliver of joel between them. he shook his head at you, grumbling something about how weird you were becoming, and he moved his arm from back behind his body. 

"joel!" you gasped; mouth dropped in awe as he presented a perfectly intact guitar. "this is amazing! you do know what this means now, right?" his eyebrow rose as he took in the sight of you gently holding the instrument. he had been pretty proud of the find, taking care to clean off the vines and dirt that had dusted itself around the guitar. considering you had been begging him for lessons for weeks since ellie mentioned he could play the guitar; he knew what was coming. 

he wanted to tease you about it, regardless. 

"if i hear the words 'guitar lessons' come out of your mouth, 'm leavin'." he threatened, crossing his arms across his chest. his worn t-shirt strained against his muscles and tightened around his chest, and it took everything in you not to stare. his tone was mean, as mean as he could get with you, but then he did something you weren't expecting - he winked at you. 

you squealed internally. 

“that’s not fair and you know it, miller. we literally have a guitar now! what else are we gonna do with it?” you complained playfully, your voice light. you started backing up into the house, joel’s arm reaching out to catch the screen door before it slammed shut in his face. he followed you in, making sure to close both doors and kicking his work boots off next to the small rug you had inside. 

you were still marveling over the instrument, turning it over in your hands while taking it in. from what you remembered, this was a pretty standard guitar. the wood was a warm brown, and it had all six silvery strings connected still. you sat down on the carpet in front of your couch, balancing the guitar on your thighs. you were aware of joel as he entered the living room behind you, settling into one of the chairs you had on the other side of the room.

he was quiet as he watched you get comfortable with the guitar, his brown eyes sweeping over your figure. your head was bent to the side, your hair falling in slight waves across your face as you studied where to put your fingers on the neck. he could see you biting your bottom lip as you concentrated, and he had to stealthy adjust himself in the chair as he watched. god, he thought. you looked so beautiful. 

his thoughts were interrupted by the loudest, most out of tune noise coming from you and the guitar. he had to fight off the urge to cover his ears, but then he wouldn’t have heard the sound of your laughter that followed quickly after, and that was something he never wanted to miss. his eyes were already on yours when you lifted your head to look at him, a sheepish smile on your face. “clearly i don’t know what i’m doing. your turn?” 

he hadn’t played the guitar in years, but he would be lying if he said his fingers weren’t itching to at least hold it again. he rubbed his palms against his jean clad thighs before standing up and taking the guitar from your outstretched hands. for some reason, he was nervous to play in front of you. he wanted it to be good, to be perfect, but with years of not practicing and with no idea how maintained this guitar was, he really couldn’t do much besides try. 

joel tested the guitar in his grip, absentmindedly strumming his fingers quietly while he fiddled with the pegs to tune it. and you sat there on your carpet, stars in your eyes as you watched his shoulders relax ever so slightly. you saw his foot tapping against the floor as he strummed, and it wasn’t a song you recognized but it immediately became your new favorite. 

he played for a lot longer than you anticipated, his eyes closing softly as his fingers worked the neck of the guitar. you wished in this moment that you had a camera, some way to capture the moment. you’ve never seen joel so relaxed, so in his element. his foot, tapping away against your floor. his hands, holding the guitar with a level of gentleness you weren’t expecting. his head, slowly bobbing along to the chords he played. the sunset was filtering through your window, casting him in an orangish glow. 

and your heart ached, thinking about the man before you who once dreamed of making a career out this. he was talented enough, that was for damn sure. you could easily imagine him somewhere up on a stage, holding the same guitar and preforming the same exact way. you wondered if he’d ever sing in front of you, but you didn’t want to push your luck. this alone was enough for you. 

the music eventually drifted away softly, joel’s fingers coming to rest as he strummed it one last time. he cleared out his throat when he finished, looking a little shy, but you weren’t having it. “joel, that was amazing.” you gushed, fighting the urge to clap for him. 

“s’nothin’ special,” he muttered, but you swore the tips of his cheeks turned a shade of light pink from the compliment. 

“that’s bullshit and you know it,” your tone was argumentative back, not wanting him to diminish his talents. you sat forward on your knees, clasping your hands together. “will you please teach me something, joel? anything? one singular basic chord?” you begged, giving him your biggest eyes and playful pout. 

“you’re almost worse than ellie is when she wants something.” he teased, rolling his head back on his neck before standing up to come sit behind you on the couch. his legs spread out, and from the corner of your eye you could see his thighs strain against his jeans. oh lord. 

“i’m taking that as a compliment. that girl is so headstrong and i love it,” you shuffled back so that your back was pressed against the couch, crossing your legs over the other again so that you could rest the guitar against your lap. you gave an experimental strum, and since joel worked on tuning it, the noise that came out was much more pleasant than your attempt earlier. 

“course you would,” the man behind you muttered, and you shot him a grin over your shoulder before adjusting your hands on the instrument. he leaned forward slightly, keeping an eye on your hands and not the way your shirt dipped down the front of your chest slightly. your skin was more exposed, and he could see a constellation of freckles littering your skin. fuck, but he wanted to kiss every single one of them. 

with a sigh, joel began telling you where to place your fingers along the neck for specific chords. he was patient, watching carefully as you figured them out with his help. every time you correctly struck the right chord, it made him grin. he liked seeing you so excited over this mundane activity. the way you were always so enthusiastic, so bright, it just drew him in like a moth to the light. he couldn’t help it. 

you had shifted away from the couch slightly, your back hunched over the instrument as you did you best to play it. you had picked up the simple chords pretty easily, but you were struggling with getting your finger placement correct on the last one joel gave you. joel kept telling you how easy this one was, too, which had started to frustrate you. the man’s hands were easily twice the size of your own, of course he would think it was easy. and you said as much to joel, too, who only chuckled in response. 

“know you can do it, sugar.” he encouraged quietly, scooting over on the couch so that his legs almost bracketed your body. he leaned forward, pulling your upper body back a bit from its slouch as he moved to help you. “keep your arm like this, and then stretch this finger as much as you can. you can move your wrist a little, too.” his rough hands were soon on top of your own, his applying a little more pressure so that he could guide your finger to the correct position. 

finally, you were able to hit the chord right, and you cheered for yourself as you strummed it a couple more times. joel’s hand had slide up your arm gently, resting on the top of your left shoulder while you played. he was still crouched over slightly, but when you turned your head to look at him, you were shocked with how close his face was to yours. 

now that you were facing him though, you could revel in the way his breath was hitting the spot on your neck just right, how it sent goosebumps down your arms and a shiver to your spine. if you tilted your head slightly, you’d bump his nose with your own. your eyes jumped to his, your hand gripping the neck of the guitar so tightly you worried that you were going to snap it. “joel,” you whispered, soft breaths parting from your lips as it opened slightly. 

his dark eyes met yours, and that was it.

you weren’t too sure who moved first. if it was you, dropping the guitar from your lap while you twisted up onto your knees in front of him. if it was him, the hand on your shoulder moving to rest at the base of your neck, squeezing it slightly as he guided you up to his mouth. joel’s thumb caressed your skin softly, and you felt yourself go weak in the knees.  

his mouth slanted across yours, and the feeling of his stubble scratching against your face made you whimper into his mouth softly. his hand tightened around your neck, using the leverage to pull you up from your knees, while his other hand guided you by your hip to straddle one of his legs on the couch. your hands went from his shoulders to his hair to cupping the sides of his face. you could feel him grinning against your lips.

you’ve been kissed before but kissing joel was an entirely new experience. you have never done something that felt so right, so good. you never wanted this to stop. 

your legs adjusted your weight on his thigh, and you felt joel’s grip on your waist tighten as he pressed you down harder. you could feel the rough denim through your thin linen pants, and when joel moved his hand forward, your hip followed in his grip as he rocked you against his thigh. this was a new experience, however. the feeling of his solid thigh pressed against your core, and you suddenly felt much, much hotter. 

“joel,” you whispered again, though it came out in more of a whimper against his lips. his hand rocked you against him again, and yours slid to hold his shoulders and you tested the movement yourself, dragging your hips up his thigh and then back down. another whimper emitted from your lips, and you had half a mind to be embarrassed about the noise, but you were too caught up in the feeling. 

“i know, baby.” his voice was rough against your mouth, and he lowered his lips against yours again, this time angling his head to the side to deepen the kiss. joel tugged on your bottom lip with his teeth, making you gasp softly at the hint of pain before his tongue covered the spot. he took the opportunity of your open mouth to move his tongue in against yours, and you basically crumpled in his lap at how demanding he was as he kissed you. 

your hips had started to steadily move against his thigh on your own, but his big, rough hand was still resting on your hip, his fingers digging little half-moon bruises into your skin as he helped you press a little harder. joel gave your throat one last little squeeze before he moved to the hem of your t-shirt, his fingers slipping underneath ever so slightly. you could feel the calluses on his hands as he trailed them across your stomach lightly, and your breath caught in your throat as he brushed his thumb over the material of your bra, right where your nipple would be. 

you were so overwhelmed by everything joel - his taste, his touch, his smell. you didn’t want to, but you felt yourself struggling to catch a breath, so you pulled away from his mouth slightly, brushing his nose with yours gently. he could feel the little pants coming from your mouth as you exhaled, could hear the smallest of whimpers riding along those exhales as well. everything about you in this moment was working for him, so well that he was trying to think of something ridiculous to stop himself from coming in his damn jeans like a teenager. 

“god, sugar,” he said lowly, trailing his nose across your jaw and down your neck before settling his lips on the base of your throat. the feeling made you giggle softly, but it quickly turned into a louder moan as he started to suck on your skin. “you’re ridin’ my thigh so well, huh?” the compliment had you blushing even more than before. 

you never would’ve imagined that joel, quiet, stoic, joel, would be talking to you like one of the heroes in your romance novels. it was better than anything you could have ever thought of. 

“it feels so good, joel,” you whined, sliding your hand from his shoulder to cup the back of his head. you let your fingers dig into his skin, pulling on the small strands of his hair lightly as you bucked your hips against him. he let out a low groan against your neck, his fingers underneath your shirt pinching the spot his thumb just brushed against. 

he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “fuck, i knew you’d be too good to resist. you look so pretty, takin’ what you want from me.” he nipped at your neck, grinning against your skin as you cried out. letting go of your hip, he moved his hand under your shirt with the other one, raising it just enough so that he could see the black bra you were wearing. “can i move this down?” he asked so politely, pressing a small kiss against the skin he just bit.

considering the position you were in, the pleasure this man was making you feel by simply kissing you, you were inclined to let him do whatever he so pleased with you. all you could do was nod your head, give him a small “mhm,” as your eyes started to flutter shut from the tingling sensation happening low in your stomach. 

you heard joel give you a quiet “thank you, baby,” before his hands tugged down the front of your bra. he didn’t bother pulling your shirt off, he didn’t bother taking the bra off entirely. instead, he managed to pull them low enough to have your tits spill over the top, and he bit back a groan before he lowered his mouth to take one of your nipples into his mouth. 

the feeling of his warm mouth against your sensitive skin had you arching your back, pressing your front closer against joel. he slid one of his hands to your lower back, his skin rough against yours, as he encouraged you to move your hips against him. your hand in his hair gripped tightly, practically holding joel against your chest as he nipped and sucked. 

your inner thighs were starting to shake from the movements, and his name was leaving your mouth like a prayer. it only encouraged him more, and he started to softly bounce his leg while you moved against it, giving you even more friction. you felt the heat from your stomach pool to your center, and you weren’t even able to form a coherent thought anymore. you couldn’t help your eyes from squeezing shut, couldn’t help your mouth from falling open, couldn’t help the borderline pornographic moans that emitted from your lips. 

“that’s it, sugar. gonna make yourself cum against my thigh, huh?” joel asked, pulling away from your chest as he watched you with hooded eyes. you were completely lost in the pleasure, could feel yourself soak through your panties with how wet you were becoming. you had never cum like this before, but god this would definitely not be the last time. that was a sentiment that you both had shared. 

“fuck, joel,” you squeaked out, increasing your hips movements against his thigh. his hand on your back gave you support, and he pinched your nipples roughly once more before he gripped your throat and brought your mouth back against his. this kiss was harder, messier, and more urgent than the kiss before. your teeth bumped against his, you felt your lips getting wet with spit, and fuck but you loved it. joel was usually so in control, so calm, and seeing him become so rushed, so frantic, it nearly pushed you to your orgasm alone. 

the thing that did it for you, though, was joel pulling away slightly, your noses brushing together as he offered you quiet words of encouragement. “you’re doing such a good job, just like that, baby. look at you, makin’ a mess on my thigh.” his breath invaded your space, making you gasp as you fought to get air as his hand tightened around your neck. he kissed you once more, just a gentle press of his lips against yours, and you lost it. 

your body curled in on itself as you came, white hot heat flooding your senses as you fell into joel’s chest with a loud cry. you were gripping him tightly, anchoring yourself to him as your body trembled. he held you tightly, brushing your hair back from your sweaty forehead and rubbing his hand up and down your back. he was grinning the entire time, his ego raising indefinitely at the fact that he had been able to make you feel this good. 

your face was pressed in the crook of his neck, and you were surprised to find genuine tears lingering in your eyes. that knowledge had you giggling, and you must have been delirious because you couldn’t stop it from happening. joel tilted his head back. “what the hell are you laughin’ at right now?” he asked, incredulously. he had never had a girl laugh after being with him. 

you could hear the slight panic in his voice, which made you laugh even more, but you sat back. “you made me cry,” you admitted to him, running your fingers underneath your eyes to wipe away the stray tears. joel let out a snort, which had you laughing once again. his thumbs moved to replace your fingers, gently moving across your skin until the wet was cleared up. he leaned up, placing a kiss gently on your forehead. “you okay?” he asked, softly caressing your skin with his hands. 

you bit down on your bottom lip, feeling more than okay, and you gave him a quick nod before taking his mouth with yours. the kiss was soft, but you were well intended to give joel the same amount of affection. your hand had just trailed down his chest, stopping at the waistband of his jeans, when you heard your front door open. 

“hello?” ellie’s voice rang out from the entryway, forcing you and joel apart. you had never moved so quickly, swinging your leg off of his thigh and fixing your top to cover your chest once again. you were still kneeling on the couch near joel when ellie stomped her way into the living room, giving the two of you a weird look. “why are you guys sitting so close to each other?” 

“she had somethin’ in her eye,” joel’s response was so quick, it almost made you snort. “what the hell are you doin’ here, kid? and didn’t i teach you how to knock first?” his irritation was palpable, which you found funny. poor guy was probably seconds away from coming in his pants. 

“geez, sorry. i saw that some of the other guys were back early, and you weren’t home so i figured you’d be here.” she explained, holding her hands up in surrender. joel pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, trying to get his breathing under control. he had no right to be mad at ellie, and it wasn’t that he was actually mad… he was just trying not to embarrass himself in front of you. 

“why’d you figure that, els?” you asked, loving the fact that ellie knew joel well enough that he would come over here if he wasn’t at home first. even if you guys had just made out on your couch, you still liked the validation that joel maybe, possibly liked you back. 

“where else would he be? he literally never leaves the house unless it’s to come over here, and he hasn’t shut up about you since you first met.” she threw herself down in one of the chairs across the room from you, completely oblivious to the glare joel was shooting her way. 

“oh really?” your voice was teasing as you turned your head to joel, who easily fixated his glare on you. you wiggled on your knees slightly next to him, which caused his eyes to darken. 

“don’t you ‘oh, really?’ me like that. is this how it’s gonna be? the two of you gangin’ up on me from now on? because i don’t think i like it very much.” he slouched back against the couch, folding his arms across his chest. 

“yes, you do.” you and ellie chirped back at the same time, giving each other a grin as joel shook his head. he muttered something under his breath before standing up, adjusting his jeans as he did. ellie hopped up from her chair, too, rubbing her hands on her stomach. “can we get something from the tipsy bison? i’m starving.” 

“sure, kid.” joel responded, ruffling her hair as she passed by him. she didn’t even bother to wave goodbye before she moved out the front door, leaving joel and you alone again. he glanced at the door until it was shut before turning back your way, placing his hand under your chin to lift your gaze up to him.

“we’ll talk about this later, yeah?” he asked, his brown eyes soft as they focused on your face. you simply nodded, finding yourself shifting up on your knees so that you could kiss him one more time. joel sighed as you did, nipping at your bottom lip before pulling away. he bid you a goodnight before he followed ellie out of your house. 

sinking back into the couch cushions, you couldn’t help but let yourself freak out for a moment. never in your wildest dreams did you anticipate your evening taking a turn like this, and you were looking forward to seeing joel again so that you could talk. hopefully, talking isn’t the only thing we do, you thought, the grin on your face wider than ever. 

after kissing joel miller, it was decided. you were falling harder and harder for that man, and you didn’t mind it a single bit. 

tag list *:·ﾟ@yyiikes @farintonorth @scarletsloveletter @miss-celestial-being @thatgingefromtheinternet @javicstories @marianita195 @feliciab1990

[beforeimdeceased]

💸 CLOUD 9 ☁️

synopsis: the start of a night with a well known patron at club euphoria.

content: sexual content!

author’s note: this is shit isn’t it? it’s okay you can tell me. okay so i tried to write this like three different times i kid you not and each time it just ended up being pwp so lemme know if you want the part two! sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger i just love making people beg for more <3

tonight was a very special night at euphoria. there was a distinguished guest among others in the crowd and you wanted to show them a very good time.

ellie williams, a well known entertainer, dealer, and jack of all trades had decided to make an appearance. she had a stash of what could only be described as heaven and, like an angel, wanted to bless the patrons with her gift.

and she was welcomed with open arms. everything she gave them got them (and their pockets) loose. you were even more ecstatic to hear she’d booked a private session with you and your best friend dina.

the moment you layed eyes on her you were mesmerized. nervously letting your gaze wonder down to her suit pockets, stuffed with money. god, cash was so fucking sexy.

she of-course gets the best vip room you have. she was a big tipper, after all. she pays your very buff and stoic guard abby, then you and dina escort her to the room. a very large bed with black satin sheets was in the middle. she took a seat, unbuckling her belt.

on instinct, you and dina lower yourselves before her. hands caressing the fabric of her soft suit pants. a smile finds itself on her lips as she watches you.

“why don’t you two help me with the rest, mm?”

dina pulls her pants down painfully slowly while you unbutton her dress shirt with one hand. your other hand is occupied with her tie, tugging at it until it loosens.

“you ladies are incredible, you know that?” her eyes travel between the two of you.

“thank you.” you respond in unison. she lets out a laugh, then gestures for the two of you to join her on the bed. you on her right and dina on her left.

she smells incredible, like an expensive fragrance you can’t name. her wrists are flashy with watches and bracelets that probably cost all your bills times twelve. you were happy she didn’t take them off, they were getting you drenched. ellie places a sweet kiss on your cheek and her voice is low as she whispers into the air. “you both are so pretty and so sweet. i could just eat you up.”

that was more of a promise. ellie watches as you and dina share a sweet kiss while she pulls her boxers down to reveal her strap. she spits on it, hand palming at it to spread the liquid. then, she looks at the two of you.

“so, which one of you pretty ladies wants to sit on my face? and which one wants to ride me?”

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 6 (e.w)

barks wildly!!!!

wc;cw: 8.2k, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!reader, age gap (three years), all ocs r black coded <3, fluff, ANGST!!!! back to my roots, smut MDNI!!!!, eating out no wendy’s, fingering, daddy kink, choking, nothing too crazy tbh!!, mentions of death, dassit love yall  

Ellie refused to sleep until she heard you snore lightly, and even then, she was afraid to leave you unattended after tonight’s events. 

She felt a whirlwind of emotions when she knocked on your door earlier that night: anticipation, stress, arousal… love. Pure, deep love that she was fearful to admit, that was immeasurable, nearly bursting through her the minute the door opened to reveal your ethereal aura. 

You were indescribably breathtaking in her eyes. Every mole, every scar: she was obsessed with every aspect that made you who you are, and she couldn’t hold the overwhelming rush in her heart every time she saw you any longer. 

Tonight was not what she expected. She felt an immense amount of guilt when she rushed both of you back to her car. She was angry, she was jealous, and she allowed that to overtake the grand gesture of her affection for you. She was so disappointed in herself and her near outburst, but you, being the godsend that you were, convinced her that everything was fine. You were always so soft, so prepared to comfort, so forgiving. She couldn’t help but feel in the wrong whenever you looked at her with compassion that she didn’t deserve. 

And the sex… the fucking sex, what the fuck!

She’s never had sex that good with anyone. No fling, no partner. Anyone. 

She couldn’t keep her hands off you the entire night: holding your hand, kissing you all over your face, playing footsie under the dinner table at the restaurant.

She loved touching you, loved knowing you were close to her again. 

When she finally got her hands on you, every doubt she had completely checked out. She had tunnel vision, the only thing she could see—wanted to see— was you. You, you, you; She didn’t want anyone else! She missed you so fucking bad. 

But the second you looked back at her from the couch, she knew something was off. 

You looked so… dream-like. Like you weren’t really there. There were shimmers in your eyes like you were made of glitter, a soft doting whenever you reached for her and begged her to fuck you. She should’ve stopped the minute she saw you entering that state. But she didn’t. She didn’t fucking stop. 

She pushed you until you were unmoving, completely limp in her grasp and detached from the world around you. She kissed you all over, sang into your ear with hopes it would help you come down smoothly, and all she could do was patiently hold you until you did. 

And now here she was, scared to separate from you. That look you gave her when she asked to leave for a few seconds broke her, nearly brought her to her knees. Your eyes were glossed over and terrified at the suggestion of her going anywhere, and she hates herself for even bringing it up.

Her arms were wrapped around your blanketed form, your head tucked away in her neck, your soft breaths tickling her. She was still planting barely-there kisses on your forehead, but she needed to make sure you had water and a snack before you really drifted off. And Duchess was still trapped downstairs, she was probably pissed at both of you!

She moved as stealthily as she could, slowly untangling her body from yours and shoving a pillow up against you to replicate her form. She swiftly padded across her room and down the stairs to the guest room, already hearing her baby’s light scratches on the door, poor thing. 

“So sorry, honeybun, c’mere,” she cooed quietly, her heart jolting at Duchess’s small where were you! meows. Ellie picked her up and pressed kisses all over her face, rubbing the space between her neck and head as the kitty purred into her chest. 

She set Duchess back down on the floor softly so she could roam before walking over to the kitchen and refilling her water and food bowls. She walked over to the kitchen in haste, grabbing water and a Kit Kat bar from the fridge. She should’ve bought your favorite gummies; she’ll get you twenty bags in the morning for being so sweet to her. 

Ellie swiftly made her way back upstairs, finding Duchess already laying by your still feet as she licked her paw. She didn’t want to wake you, but you needed to hydrate.

She set your small snack on the nightstand before sitting next to your sleeping form. She leaned over you and gently kissed your cheeks until you started shuffling. 

“Hiii, baby, jus’need you to eat something, okay? Then you can go to sleep,” you were mumbling out small protests, but she continued to kiss your face. You eventually rolled over and complied. 

“Feeling better? Need something else?” 

“M’okay, now, thank you,” Ellie kissed your forehead before sitting up, reaching towards the nightstand.

She opened the water and candy bar for you as you sat up—Duchess meowed in complaint, what a brat! —and rubbed your eyes. She passed the bottle to you when you sat next to her. Don’t stare at her tits, don’t! “Drink all of it.” 

You nodded at her, taking bites of your Kit Kat as you sipped in silence. 

“Dina would kill you if she saw you eating a Kit Kat like that,” she said with a soft laugh. 

You smiled softly, and her heart pounded, “I miss Dina.” 

She kissed your shoulder at your solemn tone, “She misses you more, and big sis. She always talks about you two.” 

“Really? Even now?” 

“Even now. Always talks about how you pissed yourself when we all went rock climbing at the mall,” she said in between laughs as you shook your head. 

“What the hell, why that memory?” Ellie laughed harder.

“I’m supposed to see her at the bar tomorrow night with Jesse.”

“Ooooo, party,” your brows were wiggling as you bit your candy bar. She shook her head at you with a grin. 

“Shut up! Anthony knows almost everyone’s on Spring Break so he's doing something, like always. He bought some DJ equipment and asked me and my partner to practice before Saturday,” she gazed at you, and you gazed back. You’re so fucking gorgeous. 

“Oh.” 

Her ears perked up at your tone, “What?” 

“Nothing,” you sheepishly laughed. She furrowed her brows at you. 

“… D’you wanna go?” You didn’t reply. You looked deep in thought, so she pressed. 

“You can, y’know. Everyone’s gonna be there.” 

“Yeah, I, um… sounds fun.” 

“…Okay? You going?”

“I… I’m ninety-nine percent sure sissy’s gonna be there,” you whispered as if your confession would scare her, but her heart grayed. 

“… Oh.” 

How could she forget that both you and your sister are regulars at the fucking bar! She’s a fucking idiot! 

“… Yeah. And if the guy she’s seeing is going then… she’s definitely going.”

“Fuck.” She needed to smoke so badly. 

She knew seeing your sister was going to happen at some point, but she can’t deny the anxiety that she felt at the thought of reconnecting with her. What if she still hated her? Oh, fuck, how the fuck would she react to you and her being… whatever you were. She’d probably kill her without delay. There’s no doubt that there were deep feelings between the two of you, but you and your sister's bond was unbreakable. She would be mortified if you were forced to choose between her and your own blood; She would never put you through that. 

“D’you… um, regret what you said earlier, when we were on the couch?” She asked insecurely, dropping her gaze down onto the floor.

Ellie was starting to get anxious. Did you not want to be with her due to your feelings of betrayal? Were you about to break her heart and tell her your feelings were in the heat of the moment? That her feelings for you weren’t reciprocated? She could feel her nails digging into her cuticles in attempts to combat her nerves.

“I-I don’t regret it, but I do think that makes it… worse, I guess,” you were barely whispering. She didn’t say anything back. 

“Ellie?” She watched your soft hands wrap around hers in her lap. 

“Mhm?” She didn’t look at you. 

“Look at me? Please?” She saw you turn to face her out of the corner of her eye. Your tone was shattering her heart. 

Jinglejinglejingle!—

Duchess climbed onto Ellie’s lap and plopped down on your interlocked hands. She planted a light kiss onto her head. 

“Please, El? Please?” 

She could feel tears forming in her eyes at your voice. So soothing and tender. Her heart was making grabby hands towards you. 

When she met your eyes, her tears fell, and you kissed away the droplets on her cheeks. Her guilt was starting to sink in; She missed your sister so much and she wanted her back in her life, but she can’t imagine how she would react if she found out that somebody she hated was sneaking around with her baby sister. She’d probably wring her by her neck; She almost killed her at Chik-Fil-A, for fucks sake!

Ellie sobbed into your shoulder, inhaling your flowery scent mixed with hers with every shaky breath. She heard the familiar hums against your ear; She remembered your mom always singing this whenever she came over years ago. 

She was so, so in love with you, but she couldn’t be happy about it. 

She took her reaction as a sign from the universe, another potential love story broken.

You were awoken by Duchess pawing at your face. And a pang in your bladder. 

You felt Ellie pressed against you, no space between your bodies, her leg swung over yours and face in your neck as she snored softly. You slowly shifted, causing Duchess to flee to the floor, careful not to wake the angel next to you. Her grip tightened around your body to pull you closer as she inhaled deeply, and you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. 

And then it hit you. You were no longer a virgin. Were first-time-fuckers always this sore? 

You slowly shifted again, and Ellie whined in complaint before you felt a gentle bite on your shoulder. You giggled.

“Stop moving, m’trying to sleep.” 

“I gotta pee, Ellie, lemme go right quick,” you heard her sigh before she let you go, unwrapping her arms and leg from around you. 

You quickly sat up and scurried to her bathroom as fast as your body would allow, even though your sore legs and cunt were begging you to sit your sorry ass down. Of course, small jingles and scratches could be heard from the opposite side of the bathroom door, to which you replied with a giggly occupied!

After freshening up with Ellie’s wet wipes, you washed your hands and looked into the wall mirror atop the sink. You looked… fucking crazy. 

The now coils on your head were completely matted and pressed from your sleep, —no fucking scarf! — there were light bruises on your chest and neck and cheeks! Both sets, holy fuck! 

Should you be embarrassed at how hot all the marks made you? 

You concluded that you weren’t, not in the slightest. 

A knock came from the opposite side of the door, “Good, baby?” 

Ellie sounded so fucking sexy as she called out to check on you, her morning voice making shivers run up and down your spine like a track star. You ripped the door open, ignoring her shocked face and pulling her close to kiss her. 

She reciprocated instantly, humming into your mouth as you pulled at her soft hair, her arms wrapping around you to pull you against her bare chest. 

“This early in the morning?” She murmured against your mouth before moving down to suck on your neck. You whined out your consent as you kissed hers back. 

She pushed you back into the bathroom, swiftly shutting the door and lifting you onto the bathroom counter. You winced slightly as pain shot from your still very tender ass, and she immediately pulled away from you. 

“Fuck, fuck, m’sorry— “

“I’m okay! Just achey, m’okay, baby. Promise.” You grabbed her face in your hands to calm her, pull her closer, but the more she looked at you, you saw something bloom in her eyes behind her concern. Something fearful, something doubtful. It made your heartbeat spike. 

“El? What’s the matter?” 

She quickly averted her eyes elsewhere— somewhere behind you as she bit the skin on her lip. She was nervous, and you knew something was bothering her. You didn’t get a chance to ask what was wrong before she spoke, eyes unmoving. 

“Think we… we needa talk.” 

After Ellie dressed to retrieve your overnight bag from her car, you showered, and nearly drowned in your anxiety. 

Your worries rampaged as you detangled your hair. What did she want to discuss? Your barely-there relationship? Did she not love you back? Your sister? All of the options made your ears ring with panic, but you breathed through it. Tried to breathe through it. 

She’s breaking up with you! Be prepared! 

The voice you wished would die was back to its regularly scheduled patronizing. 

You were always your biggest enemy. 

You brushed your teeth and washed your face, trying to ignore the shakiness of your hands. Just fucking breathe! You’re okay! Just breathe!

You took a large breath after dressing comfortably, opening the door, and descending the stairs, unsteadily making your way to where Ellie was sitting on the couch, Duchess laid out on her lap. 

Here goes nothing. 

“I, um…” 

You and Ellie were facing each other on the couch, legs crossed and knees almost touching. She was right in front of you, and yet she looked so distant. 

Even in her conflicted state, she still smelled so fucking good. 

“What is it, Ellie?” Your voice trembled and you hated it. She still had a large hold on you after all this time. 

Her eyes shut as she sighed before she finally looked at you, and devastation ran through you. She was about to break your heart; you could see it in her eyes. Tears were gathering in yours at the thought. You could feel it, you felt it so deep—

“We need to talk to your sister before we… y’know?” 

… Huh? Your heart was in your throat. 

She must’ve noticed the confused look on your face, “Like, before I ask you… to be my girlfriend?” 

She seemed so nervous and shy as she stared down at your leg, and you felt her fingers brushing against yours in your lap. 

“You… you wanna be with me? Like, actually?” 

“Wanna be with you so bad, like… I might die,” she lightly laughed, but you could hear the eagerness in her voice. Your heart was going to burst out of your chest and start making out with her itself. 

“I just can’t do it behind her back anymore. Sneaking around isn’t as sexy as I thought it would be,” you couldn’t ignore the wet snort that ran left you at her light huff. Ellie had expressed her desire to reconcile with your sister to you, and you wanted nothing more than for them to be on good terms again, but the fear of her disapproval was starting to set into the pit of your stomach. 

“When do we talk to her?” 

“As soon as we can, I guess. I know you leave soon, but… I don’t know, can we try before you go?” 

“But… what if she doesn’t…”

She released a sorrowful sigh at your suggestion as she shook her head, “I’m not ruining you’n your sister's relationship. I’m not.” 

“Ellie, d’you… d’you love me?” 

“So much,” she whispered like it pained her to say. “But I can’t do that to both of you— “

“No. M’not going through this again, I’m not losing you again. I refuse to go through that a second time.” 

Hot tears were seering in your eyes as you gritted out your objection, “Me’n my sister's relationship is between us, and what we have is between you and me, that’s it. Nothing that me and my sister go through after this is your fault.” 

“Yes, it will be, I’m going to be in the middle of it regardless. I’d be so… fucked up if that happened because it would be on me.”

Her tone was much sterner as she looked at you with furrowed brows, and it made you angrier. You never thought she would be this reluctant to be with you. Your feelings for her were finally reciprocated, and now she didn’t want to be with you because of your sister?! You couldn’t help but feel played. 

“Ellie, that’s not fucking fair! I wanna be with you— “

“You don’t think I want to be with you?! I do! But your family is more important than that, and it always will be!” 

You understood where her concerns were coming from: you knew how much loss she'd endured when she was little, but she didn’t get to make decisions for you, especially when it came to your own family. Your sister would eventually get over her grievances with the two of you being together, you knew that. 

“Ellie, c’mon! I… I just got you back,” you quieted as tears spilled down your cheeks. You saw her instantly soften, but she didn’t budge. “We didn’t even talk to her—we’ve only had one day together and you're ready to end it!” 

She shook her head at you with a downcast expression and it only made you sadder, “I… M’sorry, I just… I don’t want either of you to be resentful. Of each other, of me, of… whatever! I’m— “

She reached to grab your cheeks at your sad whimper, her thumbs wiping your tears. You looked into her sad, but affectionate eyes, “That's the worst feeling to have with family. It doesn’t matter how big or small the situation is. It… it fucking sucks, okay?” 

Even though you felt your heart slowly start its decay, you slowly nodded as you cried, “O-kay.” 

You took a shaky breath before continuing, "J-Just lemme handle it, okay? Please? She's still my sister, I know her better than anyone.”

She watched you closely before resigning, “Alright.”

You sniffled as you nodded, more tears falling from your face.

“Don’t cry, baby. Stop crying, c’mere.” 

She pulled you close to her, you clumsily straddling her waist as she held you. You silently wept into her shoulder as she shushed you softly. You smelt the scent that you fell in love with, and you could almost hear her taking in breaths of you, as well. 

You don’t know how much time passed with you in her arms as she rocked you, but you gently pulled away to look at her face. Her eyes met yours, your hands slowly reaching to grasp her cheeks before you gently kissed her lips. You heard her sigh before her hands slowly crept under your hoodie, gently caressing your skin. Goosebumps rose all over your arms as you shivered against her. You whimpered into her mouth as you grinded down onto her, and you felt her nails graze your back.

You pulled away and she chased your mouth. You gently pushed at her shoulders until she was propped up onto her elbows, her legs straightening underneath you. 

“Ellie?” 

“Mhm?” 

“Can I… wanna try something.” 

“Course, baby, what is it?” she looked up at you encouragingly. 

“Wanna… go down on you?” you barely squeaked out, and you saw a smirk grow on her face as your face grew hot.

“Wanna gimme head?” 

“Y-Yeah?” 

“Get me wet, then.” 

Your core squeezed as she laid flat on her back, pulling her sweatshirt over her head and onto the floor, her nipples hard and her chest flushed.

“Okay, uh… tell me what to do?” 

“Gonna, c’mere,” she pulled at your hoodie, and you bent down, reconnecting your lips to hers. The kiss was hotter, impassioned, as she slid her tongue onto yours. You moaned into the kiss as your hands slid up to her chest, barely grazing her tits. You felt her hips twitch under you slightly. 

You gently massaged her cups as she squirmed under you, her fingers digging into your hips. You moved to gently kiss her cheek and down to her jaw, sucking the skin lightly. She brought a hand up to the back of your neck to pull you closer. 

You moved down to the side of her neck and sucked, and she let out a satisfied sigh as she bucked up into you again. Hm, she likes it there! 

You sucked and nipped at the skin until a small, blotchy mark appeared before kissing down her chest. 

You were face-to… tit and it made your face warm. She was so fucking pretty, and her closeness made you grind down onto her, and she bucked up to meet you. 

You must’ve been gawking at her chest because you felt a hand grip your curls to lift your head up. You met her fiery gaze, “You’re staring hard as fuck. Wanna touch ‘em?” 

You nodded as you panted through parted lips. “Then touch me. Do what you want.” 

She released her grip in your hair, and your head plopped down and onto her soft tits. She snickered at you before you wordlessly sucked a nipple into your mouth. 

You heard her gasp out into the living room, her hips grinding up to meet yours. Your free hand blindly wandered to her other breast, playing with her other nipple in between your pointer finger and thumb. 

She released soft whimpers above you, and it made your clit jump with need. She smelt so good and felt so warm in your mouth, and you could slowly feel yourself slipping. You want to drown in her—

Jinglejinglejinglejinglejingle!—

You instantly detached from her as you looked up, Duchess sitting right above Ellie’s head staring at the two of you. Ellie tsked as she looked up at her, “You serious? Right now?” 

Meow! Meow meow! —

“Okay, okay, be quiet, hold on, baby,” Ellie moved to kiss your wet mouth before sitting up as you scooted off of her. 

“C’mon, vermin, you’re on time-out,” you watched as Ellie scooped up the kitty and waddled over to the guestroom, muttering scoldings to her baby. I’m trying to get some! Stop acting out! 

You smiled as you rose from the couch to bolt upstairs. 

You heard Ellie run up the stairs not even two minutes later, pouncing onto your lap as you laid on her bed. You both giggled before she reconnected your lips, grinding down on top of you. She kissed down your neck wetly, licking at your skin. You could feel a wet spot form on your panties as you softly pushed her back.

“G-Get off, wanna— “

“Yeah? Wanna eat my pussy? Make me cum in your mouth?” She mumbled against your neck, and you nodded eagerly. 

She gave one last smacking kiss to your mouth before she shuffled off you, crawling up until she leaned against her bed frame with you hot on her trail. You were laid on your stomach between her legs as you watched her remove and toss her boxers, and you couldn’t help but stare at her twitchy cunt. Her pussy was so fucking pretty, soft and wet with trails of hair, and it made your tongue water.

“You can touch, baby, wherever you like. Just feel around,” she sounded so wanton and breathy. You nodded and brought a hand up to pull her lips open, her clit shining and jumping slightly. You heard her sigh and a soft thud rung from the headboard. 

You shuffled closer to her pussy, your tongue lolling out to lick the nub sticking out between her folds. You took in the saltiness of her slick, and you released a pleased sigh on her cunt. She gasped and jerked away from you, and you looked up at her in concern. 

“Was… is that okay?” You whispered shyly. 

“Yeah, baby, jus’sensitive. Keep going, m’good.” 

You nodded softly, leaning down to repeat your actions on her clit. You moved your tongue slowly, trying to mimic what she does to you whenever you fuck. You licked her up and down, side to side, in slow circles—she squeals when you do that! She's so cute! You looked up at her to gauge her reactions: her head was thrown back onto the headboard, she was pulling at her nipples, she was blushing! She looked so worked up and ready to cum, and it made you shove your hand between your legs. 

You grinded down into your palm as you moaned softly into her pussy, and she let out choked gasps. 

“Feels s’good, baby!” 

You whined as your tongue swirled her clit, and she shuddered before looking down at you. You saw her lips curl into a grin, “W’na cum?” 

You nodded dazedly. She’s so pretty, fuck!

“Take your clothes off’n get up here.” 

You quickly moved into action, sitting up to pull your hoodie and shorts off before crawling up to lay beside her, only having your underwear and fluffy socks on. You looked up at her as you waited for her directions. 

She huffed at you. Your brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I meant up here, sit on my face,” she turned to say to you as she stuck her tongue out. You nearly died. You’re going to die!

“Oh.” 

“Mhm, c’mon,” she slid down to lay flat on her back. You shakily arched your hips to slip your panties off, but before you could fling them on the floor, she snatched them from your grasp and mischievously shoved them in her nightstand drawer. You stared blankly at her as she laughed hysterically. 

“I still have your other ones!” 

“BITCH! I fucking knew I wasn’t crazy, what the hell!” 

She laughed harder as she kicked her feet giddily, her goofy snorts filling the air. You watched her laugh blankly before impulsively straddling her waist, your cunt resting on top of hers. Her laughs got caught in her throat at your boldness, her lip pulling between her teeth as she stared up at you. You watched her gaze drop at your tits, down to your tummy and back up to your eyes. Your body was so hot as she shamelessly looked you up and down. You felt so exposed, yet so… so—

“I know you’re pretty’n gorgeous and all that, but have I ever told you how fuckin’ sexy you are?” 

You got hotter—and wetter— as you squirmed on top of her. You whimpered shyly, “I-I don’t know, I think so.” 

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy, you make me so wet,” she whispered to you. She sounded so… stupefied, like she was hypnotized as she took you in. She reached her hands up to play with your tits, “Look so good on top, g’na make you ride me one day.” 

“G’na r-ride it s’good, daddy,” you keened thoughtlessly, and you felt one of her hands come up to wrap around your throat, your eyes fluttering shut when she squeezed the sides.

“Yeah? Gonna take it nice’n deep? Fuck me how you wanna?” She moaned out raspily. Her free hand slid down to grab your hip, slowly moving you back and forth like you were actually grinding on her dick. Your hands pressed on her chest to steady yourself, your hips moving on autopilot on top of her. 

“Yeahyeah, m’gonna!”

“Uh huh, get up here.” 

You clumsily climbed up her body before she grabbed your hips to stop you, “Other way.” 

Oh. You shivered.

You scooted off her to turn so your ass was facing her before sitting atop her again, the bruised, plushy skin pushed into her face. You heard her moan out a fuckme at the sight of you. You turned your head, craning your neck as much as you could to look down at her with glossy eyes, “Like this?” 

Her eyes shot up to yours as she arched her brow, “You think you’re cute?” 

“A little bit.” 

A loud smack! rang through the room, and you fell forward with a moan, a stinging sensation burning on your asscheek. You caught yourself on her thighs, your back arching deeper, enticing her to hit you again. 

“You always talk shit when I try to be nice, bend all the way down.” 

Her drippy pussy was in your face. You felt her wrap her arms around your thighs to pull you closer to her face, her lips wrapping around your swollen clit. You moaned out her name as she sucked on your clit, your hips pushing back on her face. 

You moved your head up so you could lick her out, your tongue moving as eagerly as hers was. Wet, smacking sounds filled the room as you moaned into her pussy, her hips bucking into your face to get you closer. You pulled away from her cunt to spread her open, bringing your other hand around to prod your pointer finger at her entrance. Her thighs jerked under you. 

“C-Can I, daddy?” 

“Yeah, fuck, do what you like,” she whined out to you, and it made you drip.

You gently pushed your finger into her pussy, and she moaned out against yours. You messily attached your lips to her clit to suck on it again, her knee arching up so you could your finger deeper. You wiggled it around as much as you could in her squishy walls as they tightened on you, trying to find that spot in her. You want her to feel good, you want her cum on your face!

You felt her mouth leave your pussy as she let out moans of your name in between whimpery fucks. Her arms were no longer wrapped around your legs, both hands coming up to massage your ass. You arched your finger up until you brushed a patchier spot, and she let out a slew of rightthererighttheres! You sped up the pace of your finger as you hit it, your tongue going in circles on her clit. She was so loud behind you, and you felt like you were going to cum because of it!

“S’close, baby, shit, g’na make me cum!” 

You let out an mhm! against her clit, and you watched her toes dig into her sheets as her legs trembled.

She’s almost there! Makehercummakehercum!—

Your finger dug into her spot like she does yours, and you felt her entire body lock up under you. She barely released a choked gasp of cummin’! before she moaned out your name, her nails squeezing into your ass. You felt her walls squeeze your finger in a tight, wet grip as you fucked her, a creamy slick coating your finger. Your tongue slid down to slip in next to your finger, and she nearly shouted. 

You fucked into her until she whimpered out an okaybabyfuckokay! You gave her clit one last kiss before you pulled out, her slick drenched on your finger. You slurped it up, and you heard her mutter a shit before you were yanked back by your thighs, a surprised yelp leaving your mouth. You felt her tongue slip inside your pussy and your back immediately arched into her so she could get deeper. 

Her—incredibly talented, what the hell! — tongue went wild on your clit, swirling and sucking and slurping at it like she was desperate for you to cum, and you were almost there! You just need something, need her closer, need her to touch you more! —

You felt her thumb prod your ass before popping the tip in. She slowly fucked into your hole as you trembled on top of her, and you felt her tongue slip past the entrance of your cunt, fucking in and out of you as she massaged your clit with her other hand. You hadn't even realized you were pushing back onto her tongue. You felt her smile against your skin the louder you wailed. 

“M’g’na cum! Da-ddy!” 

She moaned into your cunt like she needed it, needed you, and you came on her face. Your nails dug into her soft thighs as she rubbed you through it, circling your clit as fast as she could, swallowing all your cum and her thumb still pushed into your ass as it clenched in your orgasm. You were mumbling out incoherent words through your nut as you practically rode her face and hand. 

Your moans quieted as she eased you to come down, pulling out of your ass and kissing your entrance as she rubbed you slowly. You started jerking at the sensitivity and she rubbed you harder, chuckling deviously as you groaned out and pussy squeezed. She left a light slap on your cunt, squeezing your ass with a drenched hand. 

“C’mere, I wanna kiss,” she whispered out. 

She eased you off her and you plopped on the bed. She snorted as you slowly spun and cuddled up next to her, still trying to catch your breath. She gently grabbed your chin and leaned down to connect your lips, giving you soft pecks before you licked her bottom lip with a smile. 

She grinned slowly, pulling your bottom lip down so she could lick into your mouth. You moaned softly as she sucked on your tongue 

“You’re so pretty,” she mumbled out when she pulled back, staring down at you. You watched her shimmery eyes move across your face; it looked like she was trying to memorize every detail of you. Her expression was so soft, and her cheeks were glowing. You could feel your cheeks heating up at the attention. 

“No, you.” You were cheesing so hard. 

“I’m serious! So fucking… fuck, I just wanna look at you all the time!” 

The sincerity in her tone made you squirm, “Shut up!” 

She laughed softly, leaning down to brush her nose with yours before she spoke quietly, “Come with me to rehearsals? Wanna see what you think of the mix I made.” 

Excitement filled your chest, “Course I’ll go!” 

“Y’know, my partner likes your little violin vlogs,” she leaned down to peck your lips. 

“They watch them?” 

“Well, we were in the studio when I watched them the first time’n he heard. He talked about sampling them’n stuff.” 

“They’re not mine. He could if he wanted to.” 

Even though you’ve been practicing composition more in your free time (encouraged by Arya!), you’ve never posted any of your original works on your channel. You’ve thought about the idea on multiple occasions, but you always turned away from it: sharing something so personal with such a large mass was very intimidating. 

She only hummed before pecking your lips again, “We’re not leaving till later. We can nap after I pamper the princess.” 

“Don’t wanna nap,” your tone lowered as your legs squeezed together, and her eyes darkened as they looked into yours. 

“…Oh?” 

You nodded up at her, your heart pounding in your ears. You want her to fuck you so badly! 

She leaned down like she was going to kiss you, “Gimme two minutes.” 

You didn’t get to react before she rolled off you and onto the floor before bolting down the stairs while screaming, I’m getting pussy!

You laughed at her squeals of excitement as you shook your head. 

After Ellie made you squirt on her tongue against the shower wall twice, she ordered Wingstop for both of you. You definitely napped after that, but now you were both prepping to head over to the bar. 

You were laying your edges in Ellie’s bathroom when she walked in, clad in a black hoodie and jeans with a white undershirt. She was leaning against the doorframe as she watched you in the mirror, catching your gaze before you shyly looked away. 

She slowly crept behind you as you were finishing up your hair, her strong arms wrapping around you to pull you closer and wrapping you in her aroma. You watched her plant soft kisses to your neck before she reconnected your gaze in the reflection, “Ready?” 

You leaned back against her, “Mhm! Lemme go kiss Duchess.” 

“She likes you more than me, you know that right? After everything I’ve done for her ungrateful ass.” 

“Don’t talk about her like that! She’s my baby.” 

“Uh huh,” she rolled her eyes at you before pulling back so she could lightly slap your ass, making you squeal. “Go on, then.” 

You spun quickly to kiss her before turning to run down the stairs, filling the air with kissy sounds as you summoned the kitty. Her head popped out from under one of the kitchen stools. 

Meow meow! Meowmeow!

“Baby! Hiiiii!” 

The outside of the bar looked refurbished since the last time you were here. It looked so much more lively, so much brighter.

Ellie’s hand was in yours as she guided you towards the entrance. She held her phone up to her ear as she spoke into it, “‘Sup, m’outside.” 

You watched how the lights of the bar shined on the wet sidewalk, the light drizzle of the rain splattering on the concrete.

“C’mon, babe,” she muttered to you with a gentle pull of your hand. 

She pulled you into the bar as the door opened, a joyous call of Ellie's name filling the quiet spot. The door shut and locked behind you as she released your hand, pulling the same middle-aged man from New Year’s into a big hug. 

A soft call of your name from behind you immediately made you stiffen. 

You turned and were met with the softest pair of brown eyes, pools of chocolate that you didn’t know how much you looked into them. 

Dina slowly walked towards you before pulling you into her tight embrace, your arms immediately wrapping around her waist. You felt tears burn your eyes as you held her. 

You felt her sob into your shoulder, and you squeezed her tighter. She garbled out to you in whisper, “I missed you so much.” 

“Missed you, too.” 

You felt another embrace, much taller and stronger, surrounding you and Dina. Your wet eyes peeled open, and you were immediately met with Jesse's clothed chest. You, Jesse, and Dina quietly cried as you all slurrily wailed about how much you missed each other. 

“Can I join? Like.” 

Ellie's voice interrupted your soft whispers, making you snort wetly into Dina's shoulder as you all laughed quietly. 

“No bitch, you can’t, stay away!” 

You laughed harder at Dina’s protest before nuzzling deeper into them. 

You missed them so much. 

After the blubbery reconnection with your friends, you tearfully introduced yourself to a very… confused Anthony and Elijah. Are we missin’ something? Why’s everyone sad? 

You gave a brief explanation, Oh, we’re not sad! It’s just been a while since we’ve seen each other! We’re fine! He nodded gently, bringing you into his warm embrace after his introduction before Elijah shook your hand politely. After you swiftly caught up with Dina and Jesse, they moved over to the DJ booth at the front of the bar. Anthony was going over the mechanics of the equipment as you listened behind them. 

“Wait, where’s Sai, Ellie?” Anthony cut off his instructions to ask. 

“He just hit me up, he’ll be here in… fifteen, twenty,” She replied simply as she checked her phone. 

“Cool, lemme know when he pulls up so I can give him the rundown.” 

“Gotchu!” 

You watched as Anthony scurried to the back of the bar with Elijah, leaving Ellie, Dina, and Jesse to experiment with the set-up. Ellie retrieved her laptop from her backpack, hooking it up to the system while Jesse adjusted the speakers. 

Eventually, the bar was filled with booming 8O8s and scrubbing effects. Ellie had a set of headphones on her head as the large speakers rattled with the bass. She was nodding her head as she listened, instructing Jesse to adjust the sound, talking to herself aloud in both approval and disfavor. 

She looked so hyper focused, so in her element… and it was getting you hot. She must’ve felt your eyes burning through her because she looked over to you and gave you a small wink before returning to her work. 

Is this what she looked like in the studio? 

Fuck… fuck!

“Hey, kid.” 

You jumped at the voice that came from beside you. You relaxed instantly when you saw it was Anthony, smiling up at him. 

“Hi, Anthony. What’s up?” 

“Nothin’ much. Can we chat for a sec?” 

Why were you suddenly nervous? He looked so warm as he smiled down at you! 

“…Sure.” 

“C’mon, gonna head back here for a second.” 

He led you to the EMPLOYEES ONLY room, gently shutting the door behind you. He ushered you to take a seat at the small round table in the middle of the room before taking a seat next to you. 

“I just wanted to get to know you! Ellie spoke very highly of you before you two came today!” He smiled brightly. You tried to ignore the pounding of your heart. 

“Oh! Um… what did she say?” 

“She said a lot, honestly! How you play violin, how you’re a music production student, how you’re a famous YouTuber! —“

Your laugh cut him off, “Faaar from famous. I kinda… just post on YouTube. I use it for practice and whatever.” 

“Well, she showed me’n my nephew some of the videos you posted. I’m sure Ellie told you about the event that we have for the talent in town,” you looked into his curious, soft eyes. “I guess I’m tryna ask why you haven’t performed here yet? You’re fuckin’ gifted.” 

Your face and ears immediately ran hot, “O-Oh! Uh… thanks, but I’m… I’m not really a performer. I’m not good with crowds… and stuff.” 

He softly nodded his head at you, “I understand. I just wanted to let you know that… we had a lot of scared kids in here the first night, but every performer was encouraged by everyone in the audience regardless of their level of ability. I just wanna let you know that you would be supported here no matter what. Everyone would love you!” 

You listened to him intently, “The decision is yours, at the end of the day. I just hate it when young people let their own doubts stop them from doing what they want. My youngest was like that and… she never got to do what she dreamed of.” 

His tone quieted, and you gave him a sympathetic look at his implication. You softly gave him your condolences as his eyes glossed over, your hand coming up to softly rub his back in comfort. 

“Don’t tell Ellie I told you that! She’d be pissed if she found out I laid that news on you like this.” 

You shook your head as you smiled softly, “It’s fine! I appreciate you sharing that with me.” 

He nodded at you, smiling just as gently. You spoke before you could stop yourself, “I’ll… I’ll think about it? Performing, I mean.” 

“That’s all I ask.” 

He was about to say something else, but his reply was cut off by loud yelling from the other side of the door. You both rose from your seats and rushed out to the main area, and your heart plummeted through the floor beneath you. 

You were instantly met with your sister’s raging gaze, a shocked Isaiah holding her back by her arms as Dina and Jesse barricaded a just as pissed Ellie against the wall. You couldn’t hear any of the muffled yelling as your ears rang and your fists clenched, your nails digging into your palms. You just stared at your sister. 

The longer she looked at you, the harder her eyes got before she spat at you. 

“The fuck are you doing here?” 

You don’t know how long you were staring at your sibling, but you couldn’t look away from the ferocious glower in her eyes. You shakily called out to your sister before she cut you off angrily. 

“What the FUCK are you doing here?! Why are you here, right now?!” 

Dina slowly walked towards her in attempts to calm her down gently, but you could tell it was pissing her off more.

“Who the fuck brought her?!” She thrashed in Isaiah’s arms the louder she got before she turned to snap at him. “Get off me! I’m not gonna fucking touch her!” 

“You almost did! You needa calm the fuck down!” 

“Don’t talk t’me like th—!”

You looked at Ellie and you could see that she was holding herself back from saying something out of pocket. Her jaw clenched tight, and her fists were balled up tight as Jesse held her arms behind her back. Were they seriously about to fight? This was not good. This was really, really bad—

A loud shout of your name made you snap your head towards your sister. You watched her eyes slowly pan to Ellie and back to yours before she scoffed with a shake of her head, “Are you fuckin’ serious?” 

“You came with her? Really?” You watched Dina slowly walk towards your sister until she was right in front of her. She placed her soft hands onto her shoulders, and your sister redirected her burning leer from you to Dina. 

You couldn’t hear what she was saying to your sibling, but the disgusted look in her eye slowly melted. She was still pissed, but the tension in her shoulders dropped significantly. She yanked her arms out of Isaiah’s grasp before turning to storm towards the exit. 

You called out to her, but she ignored you. Your feet moved before you could think, but you stopped when Ellie shakily called your name. You spun to look at her, her eyes watery and her fist slowly unclenching. 

“Lemme come with you— “

You cut her off with trembling breaths, “N-No, I got her.” 

She called out your name as she took a step closer. You shook your head at her as you spoke shakily, “I’ll be back, just… just gimme a second.” 

You exited the building before you could hear her protests, and you caught a glimpse of your sister’s body stomping down the parking lot. You followed her as quickly as you could without slipping, and the closer you got, you could hear her cries over the soft patters of the rain.

You called out to her, and she immediately shook her head as she dug for her keys in her purse. You slowly walked closer to her before she screamed at you, “Get the fuck away from me! Go back in there with them, that’s where you wanna be, right?!” 

“Don’t yell at me! What the fuck was that about?! Why the fuck are you still so mad at them?!” 

She glared at you through her teary eyes, “Because of you! YOU! I stopped talking to them for you! I almost fought my best fucking friend because of you!” Your sister has never looked at you with such disdain in your life, and you could feel your heart crushing in your chest with every shout she gave you. “And I find you sneaking around and having fun with the motherfuckers that hate my guts?! Who the fuck does that?!” 

Tears were falling down your cheeks, but you could feel anger swelling in your chest at her conclusions, “Nobody fucking hates you! You’re just too fuckin’ stubborn to realize that they actually miss having you around! —“

“Shut the fuck up, no the fuck they don’t! That’s why none of them fucking talk to me anymore! I finally find someone that cares enough to be around me and he turns out to be her fucking partner! I can't dodge that bitch no matter how hard I try!”

“Don’t call her a fucking bitch!” 

Her glare hardened, “Oh, really?! You’re fucking defending her now?! After all that shit she said about both of us?” 

“She already apologized to me, multiple times! You would’ve got the same treatment if you would just fucking listen to what she has to say!” 

Your sister sneered at you as she slowly shook her head in disappointment. Her calm tone shook through you, “Y’know what? If you’re gonna ride this hard for her, do that. But when she leaves you in the fucking dust like she did the first time, don’t call my fucking phone. I’m telling you right now, I’m not coming to your defense again. I don't give a fuck what she does to you after this.” 

She pulled her keys out of her purse, leaving with one last spit of fuck you before she got in her car, slamming her door. You backed away from her vehicle as she started it, sloppily backing out of her spot to zoom down the street. You sobbed heavily, your heart beating out of your chest and your brain snickering devilishly at you. 

You can’t recall the last time you and your sister fought: you’ve always been close, inseparable, wherever she went, you went, and vice versa. You would’ve never expected her discovery of you and Ellie’s rekindled relationship to result in this. You couldn’t fucking breathe; you haven’t felt like this in years, and you couldn’t fucking breathe! —

You felt hands on your shoulder, and you were instantly met with Ellie’s soft and concerned eyes through your globs of tears. She was speaking to you but you couldn’t hear. Her gentle, calloused hands were caressing your cheeks in attempts to calm you, but you shook your head at her in your panic-stricken state. You couldn’t breathe, you still can’t fucking breathe! —

You might’ve just ruined you and your sister’s relationship, and the guilt was overwhelming. 

a/n: OHHHHHH hi guyth🤓….. sotp is almost done OHHHHHHHHH i’m ab to cry… i’m estimating that there’s gonna be 2 more parts left and it’s breaking my wittle heart.. but we moveeeee!!!!

always giving kisses to my little taglist love y’all down :3 @fandomshitpostingqueen , @nymphetkoo , @sawaagyapong , @gold-dustwomxn , @amitycat , @nil-eena , @elsivy , @constellieationn , @letsreadsomesins-shallwe , @onallfoursforellie

pt. 7 :3

[atinylittlepain]

No Surrender

no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader

Hungry Hearts masterlist

wordcount | 2K

warnings | smut, angst, the usual

a/n | a short but sweet epilogue to this treat of a story. thank you to everyone who has followed along with joel and cherry <3

................................

“Strike!”

“That’s alright, Els! Shake it off, babe, you got this!”

“C’mon, kid, just like we practiced. All in the hips.” Before she steps back up to bat, Ellie shoots a rather pointed look their way, her shoulders rising and falling with a huff.

“Shut up, please.” Cherry laughs while Joel grumbles, not too surprised by the kid’s abrasive command, though still a little taken aback. 

“At least we got a please out of her.” Joel nods, only half paying attention to Cherry’s quip as he watches the next pitch, a ball that Ellie doesn’t bite at, smart. Their team needs a strong hit, Sarah on third and another runner on second, two outs and all tied up. 

“Strike two!” 

“Oh, c’mon now, that was way inside.” He mumbles it just loud enough that the parents sitting in front of them on the bleachers turn over their shoulder to stare at him, Cherry offering them an apologetic smile before turning her attention to him. 

“Joel, don’t start. Do you want a repeat of last week?” Last week, both Ellie and Sarah wouldn’t talk to them the whole car ride home from the fields after he and Cherry both got asked to wait in the parking lot when they got a little too heated with the ump about Ellie’s contested slide into third.

“I blame you for that one.” Cherry’s face screws up, her hand that had been resting on his thigh laying a mean squeeze that makes him laugh.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you’re the one that started it.”

“Well, you’re the one that finished it, Miller.” Somehow, even after a year, they’re still disgusting for each other. At least that’s what Sarah calls it, Ellie usually agreeing with a grimace and a fake gag. But they’re too busy on the field right now to comment on the smacking kiss Joel steals from Cherry, her frown going slack before crooking into half a grin. 

“How could I not, Cher? That ump was calling my woman’s judgment into question.”

“Your woman, huh?” A quick flush of heat in his cheeks when she says it like that, all simpering low. His cheeks smart with his grin.

“Yeah, that’s right.” 

“How very paleolithic of you.” Before he can jostle her a little for her snark, the crack of a bat hitting a ball pulls their attention back to the field. Both of them are instantly on their feet when they see the perfect zip of Ellie’s hit. Yeah, maybe a little obnoxious, the way they alternate between cheering Sarah on into home and yelling for Ellie to steal second. But it is their girls, after all. 

…

Not that he would go around admitting this to anyone, but Joel has gotten pretty good at cooking tofu. Two pans on the stove, one with chicken and one with the aforementioned protein, he stirs while Cherry chops up veggies for the tacos beside him. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that all the boxes we just brought over were only Sarah’s.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m all ready to go. The movers are coming on, what? Wednesday?” She stops chopping, shooting him an exasperated look.

“Monday, Joel, the movers are going to be at your house at nine sharp on Monday. Which, by the way, is two days from now.” 

“Right, I knew that.” She huffs, a murmured uh-huh as she goes back to chopping. Honestly, he’s not sure why she’s so worried about it. Over the course of the last year, it’s just been one big and slow move-in to the point that one evening last week when he and Sarah actually were at their house, he found himself without a toothbrush, having made a permanent home for it on Cherry’s bathroom sink. Really, the movers are just for the few big things they’ve still yet to haul over. Sarah’s bed, which is going to go in what was the guest room in Cherry’s house, walls now painted purple after a quick weekend project and ready for its new purpose. A couch and a flatscreen that’s going in the basement, and yes, he’s already looking forward to football season. And his bookshelf, an open wall in Cherry’s room for its new home, though she’s been adamant that anything with her name on it needs to go in a box somewhere that she can’t see it. Writers, he muses, never without their quirks. 

“Phone’s ringing, Cher.” And it never seems to stop. He swears he could hear it ringing from across town with how used to that sound he has gotten. But she’s been putting it on silent more often these days, and right now, she waves her hand in her phone’s vague direction, a despondent little sound in the back of her throat.

“I’m not answering that, it’s the fucking weekend and I just sent in the first draft to her. And anyways, she’s gonna be in town next weekend, did I tell you that?” She has, probably ten times, but he doesn’t tell her that, just nods, giving her hip a squeeze as he reaches around her for the spatula.

“What’s her name again?”

“Maria. And I was thinking, you know, maybe you could invite Tommy over for dinner the same night that she’s visiting.” Her words slant a little with her hardly-contained grin, and he finally pieces together why she’s been mentioning her editor’s visit so frequently to him.  

“Oh yeah, you were just thinking, huh?” He hooks his arm around her waist, the end of his words getting pressed into the shell of her ear as she squirms in his hold, trying to bite back her smile. 

“I’m just saying. She’s thinking about moving to Austin.”

“Is there a big publishing business in Austin?”

“No, she wants to give that whole remote thing a go. The wonders of modern technology and all that. I tried that new Skype thing out last week for an interview though and it gave me the biggest headache ever. I doubt that’ll last very long.” He hums, letting Cherry go to finish cooking the food on the stove. 

“I’ll invite him over, Cher, but I ain’t gonna promise you that he won’t make a fool of himself. She’s probably way out of his league.” 

“Hmm, we’ll see. I think someone a little more serious would be good for him.” 

He’s used to this now. He might even take it for granted. All the ways that they have configured their lives around each other. Lucky, he thinks, that Ellie and Sarah get along like they do. Lucky that Sarah likes her and Ellie tolerates him, though he thinks the kid’s not giving him enough credit when she says that with a dramatic sigh. Lucky too that two decades felt like nothing compared to all the good they get to have together now. 

A family, he thinks, because what else would he call it? Hers and his sitting down at the table on their back porch for dinner. And yes, it’s theirs now, or as good as, even though the movers are still two days away. 

Sarah and Ellie talk about their class schedules for the new school year. Lord help them all, sophomores in high school. Apparently he said that thought out loud because Ellie screws up her face at him around a bite of taco.

“Well, what were y’all like in high school?”

“Oh my god, Els, did you just say y’all?” Cherry can barely get the question out behind her laugh, and Ellie rolls her eyes so hard Joel thinks they might get stuck like that.

“Hey, she’s just practicing the local customs. But I’m also curious, for the record, about what you two were like in high school.” Ellie nods along to Sarah’s addition, already a team, he thinks. Again, lord help them all. 

“Well, your dad had a bit of a reputation on campus for getting into trouble.” 

“Hey, I was never as bad as Tommy.” He puts all of his energy into the look he gives Cherry, pleading for her to not take this where he thinks she’s taking it. She just grins over the rim of her glass. Sarah and Ellie meanwhile, seem rapt to hear more.

“Maybe so, but I’m guessing you haven’t told Sarah about what you did at homecoming in eighty-three?” 

“Oh Jesus no, and I’m not going to, and neither are you, thank you very much.” Sarah and Ellie take up a chorus of boos at that, Cherry shrugging her shoulders at him, though he doesn’t let her smugness off easy, squeezing her thigh beneath the table as he gets a story of his own ready for takeoff.

“You had a reputation of your own, didn’t you, Cher?” Her face falls just as his lifts with his grin, looking at the girls again, their attention recaptured. 

“This one right here was something of a heartbreaker. Wouldn’t give the time of day to any of the poor boys that trailed after her. Little did they know she was actually a grade A nerd.” A cheap shot maybe, Cherry shoving at his shoulder as Ellie snorts at her mom, enough for him to be pretty pleased with himself.

“I’ll have you know that I wasn’t giving any of them the time of day because I wasn’t interested in any of those poor boys you’re talking about.”

“No? Not even Mikey Donahue?” Cherry scoffs, a wave of her hand, forget it.

“Especially not Mikey Donahue.”

“That right?” “Mmhmm.”

“And how’d that work out for you, Cher?” 

“I’d say it worked out pretty well, at least in the end.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh god, they’re being disgusting again, that’s our cue to leave.” He doesn’t pay Sarah’s gripe any mind, nor Ellie’s groan of my eyes, it burns! By the time the sliding door of the porch closes behind their girls, he’s already leaning in for a second kiss that Cherry meets with a soft hum. 

“You better not tell them about homecoming in eighty-three.” Her brow crooks, nails scratching lightly at his scruff where her hand is settled along his jaw.

“Or else what?” He sighs, like he’s really considering his options, another squeeze to her thigh before he answers. 

“Or else I’ll tell them about the time you peed your pants in Sunday school.” Her smile simmers, her ankle hooking around his, a little tug for him to scooch his chair closer to hers. 

“Hmm, I think homecoming in eighty-three is still worse.” 

“I was trying to be generous, Cher. I could tell them about the time you got sent to the principal’s office for telling Maureen Henderson to shove her nail file up her—” Cherry gasps, quick to clamp her palm over his mouth, though she jerks her hand away when he starts to laugh.

“I never liked her.”

“No, you sure didn’t.” 

“She liked you though.” It’s silent for a moment, Cherry’s smile sliding into something a little more shy as Joel leans into her side, trying to catch her downturned gaze.

“That’s not jealousy I’m detecting is it?” The heel of her palm shoves into his chest with a huff, but he doesn’t budge, just crowds in closer, his arm curling around her shoulders. 

“Uh, considering I’m the one you’re breathing your pickled jalapeno breath on right now, no, I am not jealous of Maureen Henderson.” 

“I didn’t really care for her either.” That gets a smile out of her, the slightest curl of it enough for his to split even wider.

“No?” 

“Nah, I was waiting on someone else anyways.” She leans back to get a better look at him, doing that now familiar thing of pressing two of her fingers into the patch in his scruff, always right there. 

“Hmm, how’d that work out for you?”

“Pretty damn good, at least in the end.”  That gets him another kiss, Cherry just as quickly flitting out of his hold to start cleaning up the table after dinner, another routine he’s happy to settle into with her. 

Yes, maybe it’s strange, still awkward at times, figuring out how this family fits together. Yes, maybe there’s still hurt, two decades worth of it to answer to, to soothe in each other. But he knows that this is theirs, movers be damned. It’s always been theirs. And yes, maybe he also knows that there’s a small velvet box tucked into what is now his sock drawer up in their bedroom. He thinks he knows what her answer will be to that velvet box tucked into his sock drawer. 

...............................

taglist: @spookyxsam @libbylou223 @angel-in-beskar @starstruckunknown-princess @casa-boiardi @tieronecrush @swiftispunk @beskarandblasters @trulybetty @amanitacowboy @pr0ximamidnight @wannab-urs @jksprincess10 @suzmagine @everything-isfucked @lanabobana @kittenlittle24 @sarap-77 @officerrrfriendly @val-srz @bitchwitch1981 @redwoodsanddaffodils @themothersmercy @romanarose @lost-inhawkins @youcancallmeelle @hollywoodcaligirl @harryleatherfit @fifia-writes @brighttears @lokanda @hardlystrictlystarwars @sarahxxo3 @harriedandharassed @anoverwhelmingdin

[dnvrsmedia]

Tell Me I’m Dreamin’

Part 3

Farmer!Reader xWrangler!Ellie xCowboy!Abby

Part Two| Series Masterlist

18+ Series

Summary: You're the new farmer in town with a big heart and an even bigger love for two women. What happens when these two women apparently hate each other? Part 3 of the series follows the three of you after the big Spring Fling.

AN: hello im back writting! took a bit of time off for myself to relax. this chapter is a bit short but i promise you will be fed with some goodies in the future! thanks for reading <3

NOT PROOFREAD

The warm spring air blows softly on your face, slowly awakening you from previous slumber. To say last night was something out of your dreams would be a heavy understatement. Your memory gets mucky as the events try to unfold like a movie in your mind. Your eyes closed, you feel the limbs wrap around your body tighten. Confusion causes you to look down at your body. Two very strong and familiar bodies shift as the mid-morning glow brightens as the sun rises. A grunt is heard from above your head. Your eyes shift up to lock with two very beautiful blue ones. Abby’s hair tied up in a lazy bun at the apex of her head perfectly frames her strong jaw, enhancing her beautiful features even more. Your eyes trail down to her neck, noticing that she was only in her sports bra. You flush, realizing your eyes were staring more noticeable than you may have liked.

“Good mornin’, darlin.” Abby rasps with her morning voice. A bright smile adorns your face as you move to snuggled deeper into her bicep. You let out a groan as your apparent hangover makes way to your frontal lobe. Abby chuckles at your state and brings a kiss to your forehead.

“Hmm, mornin’ Abs…why did you let me drink so much!” You playfully whine knowing that you fully did this to yourself. Abby rolled her eyes and squeezed your hip.

“Ya know, Ellie n I tried telling you to stop.” With the mention of her name, Ellie came through your bedroom door with a bag and a carrying cup with three drinks securely placed onto the cardboard.

“Yeah, babe, you kinda did this to yourself, ya lucky that we were there for ya’.” Ellie flashes her signature smirk as she flicks off her boots at the entrance of your bedroom door. You prefer when guests leave their shoes at the entrance to your apartment, but Ellie of course never remembers…or just doesn’t listen. You’d scold her if your brain didn't feel like it was forcing its way through your skull. You just groan again and shove your head deeper (if possible) into Abby’s arm. Her free hand rubs you on your back soothingly as you practically purr in her presence.

“At least I didn’t black out, that is all that matters!” You playfully throw a fist into the air. The chuckles heard from the other girls made you smile into Abby.

“C’mon you two, got breakfast. Even got some meds for that nasty hangover.” Ellie sits at the side of the bed closest to you. Her hand grazes Abby’s firm one on your back as the two of them caress you. Unknown to you, Abby and Ellie are sharing what could be seen as loving eye contact. They snap out of their haze when the gurgling sound of your stomach is heard, practically reverberating off your bedroom walls.

Embarrassment radiates through your body. Chuckles from the two women fill the room as you push your face into the bed with a groan.

“Oh I know, babe.” Ellie laughs. Her calloused hands squeeze your hips in encouragement. You begrudgingly slid your body off of the warmth of the blonde. Her palms slide up and down the length of your body while your hips rest on top of hers.

“Let’s go darlin’.” Abby taps your bum lovingly to signal you to get up.

The pair of you follow Ellie back to your living room to eat the breakfast she picked up for you three. Seeing Ellie all domestic in your kitchen as she collects the proper utensils for your meal made your stomach flutter. Being able to see the slivers of Ellie she held close to her, locked up close to her heart, felt like a privilege. Sharing these moments with Abby felt like a fever dream. You never thought that they were capable of being in the same room together. This made you wonder deeply. Your thoughts went back to the previous night at the event. The longing stares and intensity between the two. Your thighs squeeze together at the memory of the two of the two of them grinding into you. Whispers in your ear filled with dirty words and strong palms wandering, squeezing, & prodding your damp skin. The overlapping hands of Abby and Ellie made your skin hot. Fuck, what happened to them before you lived here?

You made your way to the couch in between the two women, skin feeling warm at your thoughts. The women spread their thighs wide, your head spins at the smell of the two of them. Abby hands you your plate, filled with your favorite breakfast foods from your favorite diner in town. A bright smile lights up your face.

“My favorite, thank you Els!” You place a kiss to her cheek. Her face visibly reddens as she tries her hardest to not show.

“No problem, hon.” She winks and rests her hand on the apex of your thigh.

You subtly buck your hips up to her palm in shock. Abby and Ellie share a devious smile at your reaction. You clear your throat and dig into your food, refusing to look at either of them. You try to eat your food quickly so you can get out from between them. Abby, absolutely not liking that at all, leans into your ear with a disagreeing hum.

“Slow down, baby. S’ not goin’ nowhere, right Ellie?” The blonde’s eyebrow raised toward the auburn haired girl, her breath tickling the sensitive part of your neck. You squirm in your seat as the two silently exchange looks.

“Anderson’s right, what’s the rush, hmm? We’re not goin’ nowhere.” Ellie’s thumb starts inching closer to where you need them the most. You place your plate on the coffee table in front of you with a huff. A pouted look on your face makes Ellie chuckle. God, you feel so dizzy when you’re with them. You stare wide-eyed at them, unsure what they’re planning. Abby just smirks in response to your visible confusion.

“We know you remember last night, so why don’t we talk about it, hm?” Your mouth goes dry.

“Oh- um,” You have no clue what to say! How can you explain to these women that you want every last piece of them; the both of them. “I-uh-i’m sorry if that was uncomfortable.” You stare at your hands, feeling your heartbeat through your chest. A small tisk leaves Ellie’s mouth as she brings her free hand to your jaw, pulling your line of vision directly into her own.

“You got nothin’ ta be sorry about. Didn’t even let us talk.” She coos. You can feel the blonde beside you shift her body to lean closer to your vicinity. You gulp hard in hopes to calm your anxiety. Your hands clam up. Whatever happens next will change everything forever, no matter good or bad. Are you ready for that? Were they ready for that?

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you...both of you” Abby murmurs. Your eyes dart to the blonde next to you. That couldn’t be…right? Everyone knows Abigail Anderson and Ellie Williams were like water and oil. They don’t mix. Not since they were kids.

“Williams has a way of stickin’ around that drives me mad. N’ you, sweetheart, I don’t ever stop thinkin’ bout you.” Abby pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, teeth scraping the plush skin.

“But you don’t ever get the hint, do ya?” Ellie chuckles.

“Thinkin’ you can’t have the both of us…oh babe.” Ellie tsks.

Your head feels dizzy. The warmth of the pair surrounding you, trapping you between their bodies makes your skin dampen with perspiration. The air was thick and heavy. One move and the tension could explode. You didn’t know what to make of it. Were they saying…no, that couldn’t be right. You were just a simple farmer. Not a popular townsperson like the two of them. With a heavy breath you shoot up from between them.

“You’re playing with me. You’re both playing with me and it’s not nice. It’s not nice ta be makin fun of me!” You pout feeling hopeless. They’ve figured you out from a drunken slur of words and now you have to deal with the consequences.

Ellie and Abby look at each other, trying to figure out what to do. Abby had the more rational thought of talking it out with you. Before she could say a word, Ellie shot up in front of you and pulled you in for a kiss.

Your limbs practically went slack as you revealed in the feeling of the kiss. The auburn girl simultaneously sucking the life out of you, yet breathing air into your lungs. Your hands make way to the nape of her neck as you massage the short locks. After a short while, Ellie pulled back from your lips with a ‘pop’, a devilish smirk and a dusting of a blush adorned her face. Her lips ruby red. You, on the other hand, felt like jello. Your face filled with delight as your eyes laid dreamily on the auburn haired girl. Abby let out a chuckle at your face before reaching your lips with the same fate. She must’ve stood up during your make out with Ellie.

The contrast between the two women was awfully delightful. Ellie was more forceful with her love, she was an all or nothing kind of woman. Yet, Abby, was the definition of gentle giant. Her plush lips synchronized with yours in a playful game of push and pull. She effortlessly controlled the pace, her dominance glazing over without any hesitation. A delightful hun left your mouth before the blonde escaped your mouth.

“Do you believe us now?” Abby’s palm held your cheek as she glanced at your wet mouth. She bit her lip at the thought of tasting both Ellie and you on her tongue. You dumbly nod your head as a laugh from the auburn woman is heard beside you. Abby removed her palm from your cheek as she watched Ellie. Her heart lurches at the sound of her laugh. Ellie walks to the blonde with that little smirk you have grown to love since you’ve met her.

“So…you’ve been thinkin’ bout me, huh?” Ellie quirks as Abby rolls her eyes.

“Shut up and kiss me, Williams.”

[starrybl1ss]

Last Friday Night

Sub loser!ellie x popular dom fem!reader

💌: hi hi hi!!<3 omg!!! Im finally writing again xoxo, anyways sorry for not serving more fics!! been busy:(

WARNINGS: alchohol, smut, praising, fingering

• summary౨ৎ

(Reminder: r! and ellie are in senior high (18 y.o))

Reader hosts a massive party for all the seniors at her mansion while reader's parents arent home.

𔘓

Friday nights are the best, specially when your a rich business man's daughter. He goes on business trips almost every weekend.

Your mom always goes with your dad. As a kid you always went with them every weekend. You've grown up, things are different now.

You now either host slumber parties, parties generally, or just stay alone in a huge mansion until you feel lonely and go on your phone choosing one or two of your many friends to come over.

This friday night is just another party with all the seniors invited. Everybody loves you (or your money) either way, you get your way in everything.

The room smelt like sweat. Neon lights flashing everywhere, couples here and there making out in corners that made you feel a little left out since you broke up with your boyfriend just last month.

You then brought up some treats in the middle of the crowded room with everyone bumping into eachother.

"Treats? Anyone?" Nobody really answered you. They were all too busy. The music was also really loud.

You got a little anoyyed so you walked away and sat on a chair againts the wall next to another girl.

The girl was silent. You gazed to the crowded room watching your friend, Dina, grabbing attention.

"Anybody wanna do beer-pong?" She yelled out. The crowd all yelled out "yeah!" At the same time.

"How about the party host go first?" Dina said as she looks at you followed by everyone. All eyes on you.

"Yeah! Sure.." you stood up and looked at the girl next to you. "You.... coming?" You asked her. "Sure, behind you"

You got to the table and took a ping pong ball then threw it into the plastic cup. You did it! Everybody cheered.

You grabbed the cup with alchohol and drank it all. Everyone cheered once again. You let out a small smirk.

You passed the ball to the person next to you without looking at who it is as you left. Turns out it was the girl you sat next to earlier, ellie williams.

She took the ball and threw it, she scors! Everyone cheers again and some people pats her back as she drank it.

Ellie passes the ping pong ball to another and left the table heading to the guest bathroom

𔘓

You entered to guest bathroom, you don't usually go here often. This was just the closest bathroom located.

You didn't fully closed the door since you were just touching up your makeup.

You grabbed your red lipstick and smeared it on your lips topping it with lipgloss. Feeling a little daizy with your head hurting you walked towards the door.

You don't drink that much, thats why your not used to it cause you get drunk easily.

As you were about to leave the gap between the door opened wider. Someone was entering. It was ellie.

"O-oh sorry, i didn't know there was somebody in here. T-the door wasn't locked and i just entere-"

You got closer to her grabbing the neckline of her black t-shirt and squinted your eyes. "What's you name again?" You smiled.

"El- ellie" she muttered. "Ohh yeahh, i've seen you around" you got closer and closer. Practically pressing your body againts her making her back up.

And there you are, drunk as fuck from alchocol.

You were pinning her to the door as your hand roamed around the door finding the lock and immidiently locked the door.

"Sh-should i get back outside or-" she stutters. You grabbed her face and pressed your lips againts hers making her let out a small gasp.

The kiss was messy. Your lipstick and lipgloss smeared all over her lips, jaw and even her cheeks.

"I'm sure nobody would mind if we stay a little longer..." you whisper in her ear making her shiver. "I mean, do you mind...?" You whisper again.

"I wouldn't m-mind" she replied trying to avoid eye contact.

You were a little shorter than her. You grabbed her neckline again but this time, from under her shirt.

Maybe if you weren't so drunk, this wouldn't happen. Atlas, it did.

𔘓

Things escalated quickly, You got her out of her clothes. Ellie sitting againts the wall with you infront of her.

"Your pretty" You said to her as she blushes. You lift up her chin while tilting your head, smirking like a maniac.

Without her even realizing you pumped on of your fingers in her sloppy cunt making her gasp.

"Shit...." You pumped another finger in, curling them. "Good girl" you praise her. She breathes heavily under you.

"I c-cant do this a-anymore" she said. "You can, your such a good girl" you insured her.

Ellie whimpers, over and over. "Shh.. were going to get caught" you informed her.

You both hear a knock on the door, shit... someones at the door.

You both stood up as ellie puts back her clothes next to the door, hiding as you open the lock and poked your head out a little.

Its Dina. "God, your taking so long! I thought you never used the guest bathroom anyways?" She complained. "It's my place. I go wherever i want Dina. Theres another bathroom next to the kitchen"

Dina looked like she was about to ask you something but she turned away and left.

You took a deep breath and head back in. You smirked at ellie "let's just get out of here" ellie nods.

𔘓

💌: GODDDDD SUB LOSER ELLIE GOTTA BE SO SENSITIVE:(:(

[bingbongsupremacy]

Pen Pal Pt. 2

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Warnings: Nothing serious ( Ellie's a bit more excited ig than in the game. ) I don't feel like I'm getting her personality right in this one. I just feel like she'd be happy to meet her friend for the first time.

Summary: You finally get to meet Ellie. God has she changed.

AU

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

May 2, 2034 (18 yrs old)

Receiver: elwilliams@email.com

Subject: So

I'd love to come to Wyoming! Maybe you could finally show me that fair you're always talking about!

I can't wait to see you in person. Also your tattoo is amazing. Cat is so talented! I bet she's a great girl. I can't wait to meet her.

As long as your dad's on board with it, I'd love to go. Thank you for inviting me. Please thank Joel and your sister.

I'm gonna go look at tickets!

Love, Y/N

------

After a long argument, my parents finally let me go to Wyoming.

I stare out of the plane window at the city below as we finally land. The pilot announces we can leave and people start to shuffle out of the confined space.

I make my way down the long hallway, not really sure where to go. I've never been on a plane before.

I finally make it to the baggage area where people crowd around the rotating machine.

Finally I spot the blue ribbons on my dark suitcase.

I follow the lane of moving people out a pair of large doors and into a bigger area of the airport. What seems like thousands of more people crowd the large area.

Fuck this is crazy.

I pull out my phone, sending a quick text to Ellie, letting her know I'm here.

I don't know where the fuck I'm supposed to go.

I scan my eyes around the room. There's so many people I'm not sure what to do. I think I'm supposed to meet them in here but I don't remember. Fuck why can't I remember?

A loud shout catches my attention.

" Y/N?! "

I spot a girl holding a white sign with 'Welcome to Wyoming' written on it.

My breath catches in my throat. Ellie.

The last time we sent pictures of what we looked like to each other, we were Freshmen. She's changed a lot.

Her auburn hair is shorter and half up in a bun. Her dark green shirt compliments her sparkling green eyes.

Her tattoo immediately captures my eye, causing me to trace her arm. Her muscles are slightly defined, leading up to her hands.

Her eyes land on mine and a small smile breaks out on her face. " Y/N? "

" Ellie! " I grin while immediately making my way towards her. I lug my heavy suit case and carry on behind me.

Ellie immediately hands the sign over to an older looking man I quickly recognize as Ellie's adoptive father, Joel.

I let go of my bags as I reach the trio. " Oh my god. You look exactly like your pictures. I'm so glad I haven't been catfished by a fifty-seven year old named Chuck. My friends were worried you were going to ax murder me. "

Ellie rolls her eyes. " Shut the fuck up. If I wanted to murder you, I would've had you come over sooner. " Ellie wraps her strong arms around my shoulders.

I'm immediately met with a the smell of the forest mixed with weed.

We pull away and Ellie introduces me to her family.

" Joel, Sarah, this asshole is Y/N. "

I slightly wack her in the ribs. " You're one to talk. "

" Y/N, this is Joel and Sarah. "

" Nice to meet you. " I greet the two. " Thank you guys for letting me stay here for the summer. "

" Nice to meet you too, kid. I've heard so much about you. It's no big deal. " Joel taps my shoulder kindly.

" Yeah Ellie never shuts the fuck up about you. " Sarah rolls her eyes. The older girl is immediately met with protest from Ellie.

" Girls, girls. " Joel sighs and rubs his forehead. " We have a guest. "

I grin at the two who apologize.

" Let's go. If we want a spot at Will's, we need to get our asses' to the diner. "

I turn around to grab my bags when a hand beats me to them.

Ellie hands one of the bags to Joel before turning to me. " Beat you too it. "

" I can carry my own bags, Williams. " I roll my eyes.

" I'm a fucking gentlewoman, L/N. I don't make my friends carry their bags. " Ellie grins.

Fuck her smile. She's so...fuck.

But friend? God of course. There's no way in hell she'd ever like me back. She's dating Cat! Why the hell am I still crushing on her? She's got a fucking girlfriend.

Joel leads us out of the airport and into a giant parking garage. " It's going to be a bit of a ride to town. "

" Don't worry, I'll keep ya entertained. I am your best friend, after all. " Ellie squeezes my shoulder with her empty hand. Joel opens the back of his truck and he slides my suitcase into the back. Ellie lifts up the suitcase with no struggle, easily sliding it next to the other one.

" Egotistical much? " I shake my head and slide into the seat behind Sarah.

" You love it. " Ellie hops in next to me, reaching over Joel's seat to turn on the radio.

" Driver picks the music. " Joel argues, switching the station.

" Actually the passenger. " Sarah smiles while changing to a pop station.

The three argue over who gets to pick the radio station, bringing a smile to my face. It's not like the arguments my parents have. There's no hate filled words being hurled around. Just jokes and slight annoyance. They aren't getting in each others faces. I don't feel scared to be around them.

I lean my head against the warm glass of Joels' truck. With a small yawn, I shut my eyes for a minute.

Just a minute.

-------

" Y/N. Wake up Y/N. " A hand softly shakes my shoulder.

I slowly open my eyes, squinting at the bright setting sun. " What the fuck? " I ask, confused where I am.

A small chuckle fills my ears. " Y/N get the fuck up. "

" Ellie? "

" Yes. We're here. Joel and Sarah are already inside saving us a seat. "

Oh shit I'm in Wyoming.

I hop out of the truck and follow Ellie into a brightly colored diner. " This place looks awesome. "

" The foods fucking fantastic. " Ellie holds open the door, waiting for me to enter.

" Thanks. "

We spot Joel and Sarah in the corner booth and make our way towards them.

" Ellie? " A voice asks.

A short black haired girl grins at us from her spot at a nearby table.

" Cat! Hey, babe. " A bright smile breaks across Ellie's face.

Cat hugs Ellie tightly before placing a small kiss on her cheek. " I didn't know you were gonna be here tonight. "

Ellie nods. " Yeah. Um you remember my friend, Y/N, right? "

" You're Pen pal, right? "

Cat finally seems to notice me. Her smile slightly less happy.

" Yeah. This is Y/N. Y/N this is my girlfriend, Cat. " Ellie happily introduces us. "

" Nice to meet you, Cat. " She's pretty for sure. And her style is great too.

" You too! "

Cat quickly moves back to talking with Ellie. I awkwardly shuffle in my spot, unsure what to do. Eventually I make my way towards Joel and Sarah.

" Ugh, Cat's here. " Sarah rolls her eyes once she looks up from the menu.

" Be nice, Sarah. " Joel grumbles, obviously not a big fan of the girl either.

" She's so fucking clingy. Like let Ellie breath. Damn. " Sarah explains.

Joel ignores the comment and continues scanning the menu. " You've gotta try the lemonade, kid. It's made fresh everyday. "

I grin at the older gentleman. " I definitely will. "

______

We got home around 8. Ellie and Joel help me bring my bags into the house.

" We set up the guest room for you. It's right across the hall from Ellie's. " Joel pushes open the door.

" Thank you so much. You guys...you've done so much for me. " I turn to Ellie and Joel.

Ellie sets my suit case in the corner of the room. " Of course. "

" We love havin' ya here kid. " Joel ruffles the top of my head. " Have a good night. " He leaves the room, leaving Ellie and I behind.

" I was thinking maybe if you're not too tired tomorrow night we could have a movie night? " Ellie asks while leaning against the closet door.

I nod. " I'd love that. "

[mommieswithmuscles]

Free Palestine, don't support Neil

Title: Sugar Free (4)

Part 3

Abby's house is a comfortable home not far from Dina's. You take in the paintings left from the old world, admiring the simple and beautiful layout of the two bed one bath.

"This is the guest room," Abby introduces. It's a plain full size mattress with one pillow, and a navy cotton bed spread. "This is my room," she directs towards the other room. Two pillows on a queen size mattress, satin grey bedspread slightly untucked. The few belongings she brought are laid on the shelves tiered on the walls.

"These aren't common to come by," you run your fingers along a photo album. Inside are pictures from the old world. No families, just landscapes. Each signed by photographers maybe even Joel wouldn't know.

"They're not." Abby steps up behind you, gently sliding her hands over yours before she closes the album. Her fingers slide up to your wrists before she pulls away again. You turn around to face her. Abby's close enough you notice she smells like pine.

"Wow, tension so thick I can cut it with my knife!" Ellie awkwardly jokes. Abby takes a few steps back from you.

"Why are you here?" Abby addresses Ellie. Ellie raises the casserole dish in her hands.

"Basic house warming. I knocked and you didn't answer. It's cold and it was either I broke in or you risk losing out on this lovely dinner." The dish dances in Ellie's nervous hands. Abby takes it gratefully.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Why don't I put this up and we can find something to do?" You watch Abby as she leaves the room. Ellie nervously itches her ear.

"What's wrong?" You pull her closer by the belt. Her breath hitches.

"Are you replacing me because I'm spending more time with Dina?" It's scrambled when she spits it out, but you think you understand her question.

"No baby. You're still my girl," you leave a kiss to her neck. "Right?" You quirk your brow at her. Ellie nods.

"So then, what is Abby to you?"

"A new friend." You answer honestly.

"Do friends do this?" Ellie turns you around and presses herself against your back. Her nose nuzzles into your hair.

"We do," you push your hips back before stepping away from her. "Abby is our host. Play nice." You walk out of the bedroom, leaving Ellie behind heaving breaths and red faced. Abby is tucked into a closet, reading the names of some board games.

"Are any of these fun?" Abby asks, turning around to look at you.

"I'm sure at least one is." You look at the small bit of her abs exposed from her shirt. Abby's gaze follows yours.

"Like what you see?" She teasingly reveals her belly button before dropping her shirt again.

"I wouldn't mind seeing more." You step close to her. Abby's body feels like a radiator. "Let's see what we're working with." You check out the games in front of her. You stand on your toes to reach the one in the back, then feel a large hand on your back to support you. You bring the game down slowly. The hand finds its way under your shirt on your lower back.

"What's this game?" Abby leads you to the living room. Ellie is sat on the couch playing with her belt end.

"This is one Joel showed us way back when I first got here. It's called Monopoly." You explain, opening the box. Ellie sits up excitedly.

-

Ellie insists on being the banker and Abby lets her, wanting to understand the game before she has any roles.

The game starts as any Monopoly game does. Each player rolls to decide who goes first, then in order of turns they each choose pieces. Abby chose the dog, you chose the boat, and Ellie took the cat.

You chastise Ellie a few times for trying to cheat her role, but otherwise the game has been smooth. Except for the hands on your thighs. One hand missing two fingers, and the other high enough to feel the heat coming from your core.

-

"Aw man," Ellie complains, handing what's left of her cash to Abby. "Beginners luck."

"Sorry Els. That's the game," you cup her cheek, letting your hand slide down and over her shoulder before you reach for the dice again. You're on your third turn stuck in jail. Not enough money to get yourself out, so you're stuck trying to roll for doubles.

"Looks like you're still in cuffs," Abby bounces a brow at you.

"Hope the cop was hot, for your sake." Ellie quips.

"I'm getting raw dogged so hard, every night. Stuck in here to be a breeding bitch for the lovely officer." You pose like a damsel.

"There are dildos you can cum with?" Abby asks shocked.

"Nah, that greedy pussy probably enjoys a thorough beating."

"Oh shut up Ellie." You laugh, tossing her cards at her. She yelps, tossing them back.

"You bitch!"

"Hey hey hey, calm down." Abby mediates. Her voice is calm, demanding. Like when Maria calls a meeting. It makes your walls flutter. "I'll cuff you both if you keep bickering."

"Try me, officer," you taunt.

"No, no I'm shutting this down. If you don't get out next turn you're both going home. It's late."

"Fine then." You fail to roll a double.

"Goodnight officer," Ellie teases with a two finger solute.

"Goodnight sheriff," you wait until Ellie's turned around to pull on her Converse to leave a kiss on Abby's jaw. "Rest up. Work early to help the patrol get fed before they whisk you away to help clear a hoard."

"All hands on deck, this one." Ellie comments. You finish cleaning up the game before joining Ellie by the door. You're very aware of two sets of eyes glued to your ass as you lace your boots.

-

You're barely in Ellie's door when you shove her into the wood. "Jealous much?" Her knife finds its spot on the table just inside.

"My girl is being poached." Her lips meet yours feverishly. "Had to mark what's mine."

"I thought this was a casual arrangement? You get what you need, and I have fun." Ellie shoves you off of her and towards the couch. You step back until you fall into the cushions. Ellie straddles your lap.

"It is. But you were my toy first. In case you haven't realized, I don't enjoy sharing." Her lips latch to your neck. She won't leave marks, but you like to entertain the concept.

"It's been too long, hasn't it princess?" You buck your hips, tossing her to the side so she lands on the couch. You crawl between her legs, one falling to brace on the floor to make room for you, the other wraps around your waist.

"You strappin' me, mama? Or are you going to leave me hangin'?"

"Don't pretend like you don't love my fingers." You undo her belt before tugging her pants and underwear to her mid thighs. "If you behave, I'll also give you my mouth." Ellie's hands reveal and massage your tits as your fingers get to work. She's soaked.

"Fuck you're right, I love your stupid fucking fingers." Ellie moans, hips rolling as your fingers wave and flow.

You target her g spot, massaging the sensitive spongy area. Your thumb comes up to jerk right circles around her clit. Ellie lets a strangled noise out of the back of her throat, body tensing as it tries to adjust to the newfound pleasure.

"Ah- Ah! Fuck- Slow down!" Ellie writhes on your hand, hips trying to escape the onslaught of pleasure.

"What if I don't want to?" You double your efforts, the sound of her wetness echoing in your ears with each squelch.

"You're a bitch!" Ellie huffs out, groaning, hands scrambling to find purchase on your breasts as you drive her closer and closer to release.

"And you're a slut," you bite back. "You haven't touched yourself since last time, have you?"

"You told me not to!" Ellie exclaims incredulous.

"You think I expected you to listen?" You yank your hand back, diving down to latch your lips on her clit.

Your tongue rolls across her pussy easily. You write your name over and over, sucking her clit like it's a straw between each round. Ellie is loud beneath you, struggling, hands grasping your hair and shirt, anything to try and ground herself as you take every nerve ending in her body and set it on fire.

-

You feel like you're drowning, in a good way. Ellie squirting down your throat, arms and thighs keeping you stuck inside her spasming cunt. You push your still sticky fingers into her mouth.

"Good girl, Els." You kiss her slow, sloppy, her hums rumbling down your throat as she gets lost in the taste of herself on your lips.

"Thank you," she gasps out, struggling to pull her pants up. You bat her hands away and do it yourself.

"You're very welcome, love." You kiss her again. "Are you returning the favor tonight? Or will we just share the bed?"

[frogychu]

Antirrhinum Ch. 2

ellie x gn!reader

ch. 2 of 4

other parts: 1 / 3 / 4

words: 2.2k

Hanahaki (花吐き病) ; disease affecting the lungs, proven to be caused by keeping one's true feelings hidden for too long Or Where you and Ellie have been friends for years until she finally slips up, coughing up petals in front of you.

a/n: really putting the slow in slow burn for this one guys and ofc the work will always be cross posted on AO3 here!

Snowflakes swirl around you as you wait for the door to open. The awkwardness of waiting around is starting to make you regret coming to Ellie’s garage in the first place.

It's taking an abnormally long time; did she know it was you? Should you knock again?

Plus its fucking freezing. Maybe this was a mistake.

The lights aren't even on inside, maybe she should be left to sleep if she's that sick.

Ah. Should've brought something for her.

Just as you're overthinking about soup, the lights turn on inside, and the door opens just a crack.

“Joel I told you, i'll be fine, it's just-”

You decide to cut her off before you gain any more knowledge you’re not supposed to. “Uh it's not Joel.”

She stops talking and the door swings open, revealing her dishevelled figure.

You won't lie, she looks absolutely terrible. She has horrible eye bags, seemed to have slept in yesterday's patrol clothes, and is much paler than usual. You're not used to seeing her in such a poor state, and it is quite the sight.

It's making you almost feel bad for bothering her.

She looks at you sheepishly, “Oh, hi.”

Not wanting to make her feel any worse than she already does, you decide to cut to the chase. "Jesse told me you're sick?"

"Oh, uh, not really. I'm fine-"

You swear you're starting to turn blue as you're talking out here, you even start shivering. Ellie cuts herself off as she very obviously takes notice.

"Oh shit, did you want to come inside maybe?" She insists.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude, I just wanted to check on you."

She pauses for a long while. Her expression saddens as she closes her eyes and lets out a shaky breath.

"Please."

Oh.

You waste no time grabbing the door handle and letting yourself in, closing it behind you. She's being oddly vulnerable with you, you wouldn't dare give her a hard time now.

It's awkward for a while. She motions at you to sit on the couch, so you do, after taking off your coat. You're watching her pace around slowly like she doesn't know what to do with you.

You're looking around the room, unsure of what to say either. Her room is cute, messy but cozy, it's dimly lit by her fairy lights and lava lamp, just enough to illuminate all of the art she put up above her desk.

One of the drawings catches your attention; it's a portrait of you.

When did she-

She finally spoke up, breaking your train of thought, “Uh hey, do you smoke?”

“Well, yeah, but are you sure we should be doing this while you're sick?”

“I'll be fine.” She answers abruptly, as she walks over to her desk and puts in a random CD into her CD player. ‘Black Hole Sun’ by Soundgarden starts playing quietly in the background.

She quickly walks over to her bed and grabs a small tin from her nightstand, sitting beside you and handing you the tin. You open it and take out a pre-roll, holding it to your mouth and searching for a lighter.

Ellie reaches into her back pocket, “Here.” She reaches over and lights it for you and you can't help but feel your heart race a mile a minute at the closeness.

The smoke invades your lungs as you breathe in, holding it before exhaling and handing the blunt over to Ellie. “You sure we should be doing this indoors?”

She shrugs, “If you want to go outside, be my guest.”

You take the blunt out of her hands as she passes it back to you, “I value my limbs thank you.”

She chuckles in response and you decide to speak up again, “So why did you skip out on patrol then miss ‘not sick’?”

“Didn't feel like going?” She lies.

You're skeptical. “Right…”

“Look, I'll tell you later.”

“You mean you'll tell me when you're high?”

“Yup.” She nods her head.

You laugh at her honesty, “Fair enough.”

Selfishly, you're a little glad she's in a poor state. It's letting the two of you break the ice that accumulated over the years, and you're definitely enjoying this side of her better. Both of you smoke in silence for a while, but there's undoubtedly less tension now, it's comfortable.

That is until she decides to talk again. “We should watch something.”

“Like, a movie?”

“Yeah. I was thinking something like an action movie…” she trails off.

You squint your eyes at her, “You want to watch Curtis And Viper don't you.”

She frowns, “How did you know?”

“It's like, the one thing I know about you, I literally can't forget.” You chuckle.

“Well maybe if we didn't fight all the time, you would know me better.”

Woah?

“I'm sorry, are you blaming me for this? I never meant for things to be this way.”

She gets up in a huff, “If you didn't then why didn't you try to change?”

It's escalating all too quickly, now you're standing too, blunt put out and long forgotten. “This goes both ways you know!”

“Yeah, we're both to blame for this shit friendship!”

You can see the regret in her face as soon as the words come out of her mouth.

“I'm so sorry I- I didn't mean to-”

Your eyes get welled with tears, “You think our friendship is shit? Do you even like me? What am I to you?!”

“You're my best friend I-”

“Don't. Just stop.”, you grab your coat, “This was a mistake.”

And just like that, you're storming out the door, with hot and angry tears streaming down your face as you walk back to your house. As soon as you get in the house, you close it behind you and slump to the floor. It's pathetic, but you can't help it.

You knew the two of you would've had to have a talk sooner or later, you just didn't expect it all to blow up in your face. You've never fought with her this badly, you're devastated. You lay on the floor for a while, knees to your chest and only the sounds of the strong wind in the crack of the door keep you company.

Numb is the only word you can use for yourself as you finally get up and make your way up your stairs. Not even bothering to get undressed, you slump into bed early in the morning. Nothing could help process your emotions better than simply not thinking about them at all.

-

You wake up abruptly to the sound of banging at your door. By the time you were awoken by the knocking, it was dark out. You slept through the whole day.

Great.

Nevertheless, as much as you were - somehow - still exhausted, you ran down the stairs to tend to the sleep-disturbing culprit.

The knocking is still loud and persistent. “I'm coming!” you yelled, a little frustrated at this person's determination. You opened the door wide.

It’s Ellie. Ellie who has red eyes and a tear stained face. She's holding something.

Food?

It looks so fucking good, you dont even know what it is but you’re ready to forgive her just with this. You hadn't eaten all day.

She finally gains the courage to speak after letting you stare at her, “I'm sorry. Let's not fight anymore. I shouldn't have said any of that to you it was…stupid”

You want to kiss her, pull her into a tight embrace, hold her face and tell her everything is going to be ok. But you don't, for now.

Baby steps.

“I'm sorry too. I don't want us to be weird. Can we just be friends again? I just…I just want you to like me.” You answer honestly.

She gives you a soft smile of relief, “I do like you, even if I give you a hard time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You can't help but blush at the mention of her liking you, even if you know it's just as a friend. Still, you can't stop wondering what it would be like for her to confess to you like this.

Ellie speaks up again, before your daydreaming gets out of hand, “So, uh, did you want some or…” she motions to the dinner she had brought you.

“Please! Oh my god, I haven't eaten all day, you are a saint.” You thank her as you snatch the plate out of her hands and drag her inside.

She stumbles a little as you're dragging her by her arm. “Woah, hey, you don't even know if it's good or not!”

You stop and turn to look at her, “I literally could not care less right now.”

“Ok but i'm warning you, you've never had my cooking so-”

“Wait, you made this?” You cut her off.

She scratches her neck as she gets red in the face, “Oh, uh, yeah I did.”

Your heart feels warm and your stomach is full of butterflies. You can't help but smile softly at her as your face gets equally as crimson, “Thank you.”

“Nothing to it.” She answers nonchalantly.

You sit down at your dining table, not even bothering to heat up the food. It's a type of stirfry thing. Ellie sits beside you, looking at you nervously as you take a bite. Oddly enough, it's delicious. You didn't strike her as being much of a cook but you have to admit it's more than edible.

“Is it tolerable?” she asks.

You answer her between mouthfuls, “Are you shitting me? This is the best meal I've had probably ever.”

She laughs at your exaggerations. “Shut up, you're just saying that.”

“It's true, I swear!”

She shakes her head in response instead of saying anything back. You smile happily and keep eating your food. Looking out of your window as you ate, you noticed that the bad weather had finally stopped. You comment on it, trying to make conversation, “It's finally nice out.”

“Aw man,” she chuckles, “I can't believe we're talking about the weather, but you're right.” She pauses before talking again, “We should go do something.”

You answer her as you're shoveling the last of your food in your mouth, “Like what?”

“You'll see.” She answers you ominously.

“Okay, creepy.”

She questions you, “You trust me?”

You soften your expression, trying to be more sincere, “Of course I do.”

“Good, come outside with me.” She orders you, getting up from her seat and grabbing your coat. Taken aback by her sudden change in tone, you do as she says without answering her, or putting your dishes away.

She holds your jacket open for you and you slide your arms in. It's endearing, you get all warm and fuzzy on the inside. You open the door and let her go out before you, and close it.

You both walk out into the street, and she smacks your arm, pointing upwards to the sky. It’s completely clear; you can't help but feel so small looking up at all of the bright lights in the sky. Although, your view is slightly obstructed by the street lights.

“Wait Ellie, I have an idea.” You tell her as you try to grab her attention.

She looks down at you, “What's up?”

“Follow me.” You insist, as you already started making your way to your destination.

You bring her to the back of your house, where a ladder to your roof is propped up against the siding.

“It might be a little more unsafe because of the snow and stuff.” You warn her.

She shrugs, “It’ll probably be fine.”

Next thing you knew she was making her way up, and you soon followed after she made it. You both lay down on the snowy roof and look at the stars quietly, until she started naming and pointing out different stars and constellations.

“That big bright one over there, that's a whole galaxy, Andromeda.” She points to a different spot. “And there beside it, Cassiopea, and Orion's belt over there.”

You listen to her rave about space for a good while, she's cute when she rants like this. “Didn't strike you as that big of a space nerd.”

“Is knowing more about me that terrible?”

“No.” You answer immediately.. “I like being around you, remember?”

She shrugs, “Trying to.”

You sit up and turn to face her, “Ellie, I'm sorry for how things have been between us for however long we've known each other. Let's be friends like normal people are friends, who know each other's favourite colours, who let each other know when something is wrong. I'm sick of this.”

Ellie immediately gets up, “I'm sorry too. And I'd like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She smiles at you.

Having at least the smallest amount of progress puts a smile on your face, but you knew there was a lot more to be done if you wanted to get closer to her. “So, what is your favourite colour?”

She laughs, “Oh man, are we really doing this?”

“Absolutely we are.” You answer, as you lay back down in the snow to look up at the night sky.

This was about to be a long night.

a/n: SOO what r we thinking thoughts.. prayers? n e ways hope u all liked it !

tags: @champagnelovers101 @luvagirl222 @florenceisacoolname @cherriesnwatermelons @sufloerfs

[millersdjarin]

Some Invisible String

Chapter III: Your Smile, My Ghost

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (afab)

Rating: E (eventually)

Summary: Ten years after Reader left Joel for reasons he still doesn't know, they find themselves together again in a town called Jackson. Joel has questions he's too afraid to ask; and Reader dreads having to give the answers.

Chapter length: 3.4k

Warnings/Tags: injury recovery, light angst

notes: hello, hope u enjoy! love and appreciate you <3

I’m starting to think that opting to look after myself wasn’t the best idea. 

I have to pee. Like, really badly. But every time I try to get up my leg just hurts so damn much. The bathroom is across the hall, and it’s cold outside of my bed, and I’m hungry and thirsty with no way of asking for any help, because no one’s around. At least, not anyone that I feel comfortable enough to say Hey, I have to pee, can you help me to the bathroom? to.

A part of me thinks how horrific this would be if I didn’t have anyone to fall back on for help. But it’s kind of irrelevant, because if I didn’t, I’d already be dead. So.

Angela catches me in a moment of shame as I try and fail to hobble out of the room. One of my crutches clatters to the ground and I can’t fucking get it because that entire side of my body hurts, and if I lean down, I think I’m going to pass out from it. 

Angela rushes towards me and grabs it for me. “Here,” she says. “Why are you up?” 

“I…bathroom,” I answer. 

She nods and puts her arm around my shoulders to help me through the hall. “Still in a lot of pain, then?” 

“Yeah.” We save painkillers until night time, so it helps me get some sleep. In the day, the pain has full rein over me.

When I’m done peeing, she takes me back to my room and sits me down on the bed. “Have you eaten?” 

“No.” 

“I’ll get you some food,” she looks at the night stand and sees the three empty glasses of water. “Water, too.” 

“Thank you.” I’m out of breath. Everything hurts, and I’m so weak that I feel like a stranger in my own body. 

“The worst of it should pass soon,” Angela assures me. “It’s only been a few days. The bruising was pretty significant. Once that starts to heal, you’ll be on the up.” 

I nod, though it’s hard to imagine ever being out of pain again. 

Angela hesitates. Then, “Are you sure you’re okay to stay here? I can take you back to my office if it’s easier for you, or I know Joel or Tommy would still be happy to have you until you’re back on your feet…” 

Closing my eyes, I sigh, leaning on one of the crutches’ handles. I don’t want to admit defeat and accept help. I want to know that I can survive on my own. I need to know that. 

But I can’t. If I ever want to survive on my own again, I need to recover quickly. And to do that, I can’t be alone right now. 

“You think they’d still be up for it?” I ask, keeping my eyes shut because I’m just so embarrassed by the whole thing. 

“Honey, Joel asks me about it every damn day. Damn near got angry with me when I told him you seemed happy here,” she chuckles. “You want me to ask Joel, or Tommy?” 

“Joel,” I sigh, reluctant. “Joel. Please.” 

Angela nods, clearly pleased that I’ve finally decided to accept help. “I’ll bring you some food. Then I’m sure Joel and Ellie will be over.” 

By night time, they’ve got me all set up in their living room. 

I can’t manage the stairs to the guest bedroom, so I sit on the armchair while Joel and Ellie set up a bed for me on the couch. Ellie bolsters it with extra pillows from the sofa in the garage, and spreads a clean sheet out over the cushions. Joel hands her a duvet that is probably the cleanest duvet I’ve seen since the outbreak and she spreads it out on top of her work, then finishes it with several pillows.

“Ta-da,” Ellie says, presenting it with her hand and a smile. “I hope it’s comfortable. Joel’s fallen asleep on it a few times by now, but that could just be ’cause he’s old.” 

Joel ignores her teasing, coming in with hot mugs of tea. 

In all the experiences I had with Joel a decade ago, I’ve never experienced something quite so…normal. So pre-outbreak. In this moment, he’s just a guy welcoming a guest to his house for the night with some tea and a nice, comforting fire in the fireplace. His shirt is dark green and washed well, not a drop of blood and barely a speck of dirt on the fabric. His hair looks a little long still, but neat, like he’s brushed it or even trimmed it, and his beard is the best I’ve seen it look since I got here. 

“Hope you like chamomile,” Joel says wryly as he puts the mugs down on the coffee table. It’s just so fucking weird to see this. I love it. 

“I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to see the menu first,” I retort. 

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll be sure to mention your complaint to the manager.” 

Ellie plops down on the end of the sofa she’s made up for me and grabs one of the mugs. “Do you mind if I sit here for a bit?” 

“You can lie down if you need,” Joel offers me, handing me the second mug. Steam billows up into my face. I haven’t smelled herbal tea in a long time. 

“I’m alright,” I smile, finding that I mean it. It’s warmer here than it was at the inn. The fire casts such a warm glow throughout the room, combined with the few table lamps that they’ve got scattered about the place. The living room is attached to the kitchen with an arch, the back window looking out at other houses beyond, all lit up with dim orange lights. I’ve not seen anything like this before. 

“I’m glad you decided to stay with us,” Ellie says. “The inn’s nice, and all, but this is better.” 

“Are you hungry?” Joel asks. 

I shake my head. 

“You need anythin’?” 

His concern is comforting and jarring all at once. After what I did to him and Tommy, after just up and leaving in the middle of the night, I’d expected him to hate me. To be angry at me. To at least have questions for me before telling me he’d moved on, from it and from me. “I’m…actually good,” I answer. “Thank you. For letting me stay.” 

Joel nods. He sits on the armchair next to mine, his legs spread with his elbows resting on them. His hands wring together, all callouses and bruises. Still I want to run my fingers over each bruise, each scar. Just like before. Nothing has changed. 

I thought leaving would make it better.

He leans forward, wordless, and picks up his mug. 

For a while, we just drink in silence. It’s nice, but something is hanging in the air that I don’t know what to do with.

“Ellie,” Joel’s voice comes up into the quiet, surprising me. “You mind givin’ us a minute?” 

Ellie looks between us once, then gets up. “I’ll be in my room.” 

Once she’s up the stairs, I look to Joel, a little wide-eyed. His leg is bouncing up and down a little, and I know that means that he wants to say something but isn’t sure how. 

“Out with it,” I say softly. 

A sad smile twitches at the corner of his lips closest to me. The firelight flickers golden against his skin, makes his beard look all the one colour. “Always did know how to read me,” he says to the floor. 

I gulp. My mouth is dry, so I take a sip of tea. God, it’s so nice. He still doesn’t say anything, though. “Joel,” I say, “I understand if you’re…angry at me. I mean—whatever you feel about me, it’s okay. I understand. I screwed you over back then, and I…” I fade off when Joel starts to shake his head. 

“You don’t know what I feel,” he says. Stares down at his mug.

He’s right. 

“No,” I say, “I don’t.” And I don’t expect him to tell me. 

Silence lingers on for another few minutes. I think about taking another sip of tea, about shifting in my seat or even trying to say something into the quiet. But it’s all I can do to stare at him, to take in the side profile of his face, his presence, things I never thought I’d see or feel again. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asks then, unexpectedly. 

“Why’d I do what?” 

His eyes haven’t moved from his tea. “Why’d you leave?” 

Heavily, I swallow. Thinking of the letter, of my smudged handwriting, the way my hands shook. The way I hesitated before I tossed it into the fire. The way I looked at Joel’s sleeping form before taking off, second guessing my decision for just that split second. My heart had ached at the sight of him, and that’s how I knew I needed to go. 

Because, during the apocalypse, you can’t afford to fall in love. 

I thought it was safer, back then, to not tell him why. There was a tiny chance that he felt the same, and if he did, he might have tried to come after me. And the worst part was: I wanted him to. 

“Do you really want to know?” I ask. Because, if he does, I’ll tell him the truth. He deserves that. After all this time, he deserves that. 

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.” 

Okay. 

Okay. 

This is fine. 

Staring down at my own mug now, I exhale, trying not to shake. “You know that in times like these, caring for someone is what gets you killed,” I start. "Especially the way we lived back then."

“I…guess.” 

“You don’t agree?” 

“I…it’s complicated.”

Great. Because we all need it more complicated. “Ellie told me about Tess,” I say, not really sure why that’s the direction I’m going in. 

He freezes. “Why are you bringing that up?” 

“Because you know. You know that caring about someone is dangerous.” 

“How the hell is Tess relevant? I’m asking about why you left me. Years before Tess. Years before any of this.” He’s getting frustrated, and he turns his head towards me, just about meeting my eyes. The fire is reflected in his. “She ain’t the only one I’ve ever cared about since this shit started.” 

“I know. You’ve got Tommy. Ellie now.…” 

“That’s not who I meant.” 

I swallow again, forcing back the nervous tears. “Well. I…Joel…” 

“Just tell me,” he growls. “Please, just tell me. It ain’t bad enough that I’ve been wonderin’ for all these years, that when you didn’t come back I thought you were dead and all this time I assumed—”

“I had feelings for you,” I blurt out. He freezes again, this time with his eyes on me, staring with his head tilted slightly towards me. His body still faces the rest of the room, but it feels like he’s closer to me, like he’s all I can feel around me. 

“What?” 

My breaths are trembling. “I had feelings for you. There. See? You see now why I had to leave?” 

“I…no,” he frowns. “No, I don’t.” 

My eyebrows raise, incredulous. “It was dangerous, Joel! You always used to say that you had to keep your distance from people. We used to say that. I know you know what I’m talking about. I know you, Joel, or at least I used to. Having people close isn’t—isn’t something that feels safe. For either of us. And feelings like that? They’re impossible to get away from. I couldn’t take the risk that it’d put us—you—in danger.” 

He looks away, and I wish he wouldn’t. 

I just stare at him. Breathless. Wishing I had something more coherent to say. “Joel…” my voice comes out quieter than I’d thought it would. “I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to protect you. I didn’t want to put any of us in danger, and I…didn’t want you to be in the position where you felt you had to reject me. Things didn’t need to be any more complicated than they already were.” 

“Reject you,” he mutters, right under his breath, like he’s saying it to himself. 

“You can understand that,” I plead, “right?” I don’t know why I feel like begging for his forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I don’t even know if I want it from him. It’s easier to believe that he’s angry, bitter. That he just wants to see the back of me once this is all over. 

But I’m sitting in his living room under a blanket that he draped over my lap, holding a mug of tea that he made for me. It’s so clear in every moment I’m here that he doesn’t hate me, and that makes this harder. If he doesn’t hate me, then it means he could…that he could feel…

He stands up. I scramble for something to say to get him to stay. 

“Joel,” I say, “Joel, you wanted to know the truth. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t want to make things weird—”

He holds up a hand. I stop talking. “Just…” he says, “just…give me some time. I just…let me think.” 

I can’t tell him no. 

The stairs creak. We both look up at the same time and find Ellie standing at the top of them, a question on her face. 

“Sorry,” she says, “I just…I needed something from the kitchen. I’ll just…” she starts to turn around, but Joel stops her. 

“No, it’s alright. Come on down. We were just headed to bed.”

Oh. 

Ellie cautiously comes downstairs, standing in the room entrance like she knows she’s interrupted something. 

“It’s alright,” I offer her a smile. I know when Joel is done talking. “We were finished. I’m real tired, and I’ve put you guys out enough tonight.” 

“You haven’t,” Ellie says and relaxes, heading into the kitchen. 

Joel heads towards the stairs. I half expect him to turn back to me, to at least mutter a Goodnight. But he doesn’t.

Somehow, I feel like I’ve fucked things up even more than I already had. Reopening old wounds and making new ones. Maybe even embarrassing myself at the same time by telling Joel the real truth. 

Great. 

Fuck. 

-

The next morning, I wake as the sun rises. 

The curtains in the living room are thin, so the sun shines through them in long, orange beams, casting a spotlight on the dust in the air. I’m comfortable, warm. I'm not in too much pain for once. For a moment, I just bask in all of that. I’m lying in a house that doesn’t have boarded up windows, and I feel safe. 

Footsteps on the stairs gently pull me from my thoughts. I turn my head and see Joel at the bottom of them, wearing pyjamas. Fucking pyjamas. I have never seen that before in my life and, God, it’s a lot to take in. Checked, dark blue sweatpants and an old black T-shirt, showing the expanse of his arms. I don’t know how he isn’t cold, but I’m grateful. 

The look on my face must make him think he woke me. “Sorry,” he mutters, “these damn stairs are always creakin’. You can go back to sleep, I’ll tell Ellie to be quiet.” 

I shake my head. “I was already awake.” 

He offers a smile. It’s genuine, but awkward. Then he walks into the kitchen, and it’s all I can do to watch him. A part of me expects him to say something, to bring up our conversation last night, to bring up anything, actually. Even a conversation about the weather would be enough. 

But instead, he’s quiet. Brooding, more accurately. 

And I don’t feel that I can say anything. He said he needed time to think. 

So I give him it. 

For four agonising days, I give him it. 

He still talks to me, still looks after me with the help of Ellie; brings me food, blankets, sits and reads beside me in silence while I drift in and out of sleep. I wish I could reach out to him, take his hand, get him to hold me. It feels selfish to want those things, knowing that he’s still thinking about our conversation. 

Or, at least, I assume he is. I hope he is. As much as it’s a conversation I never thought I’d have with him, we did have it, and it felt like it wasn’t quite finished. 

But, I consider myself lucky beyond belief that he’s still talking to me at all. 

It’s at the beginning of day five, when I’m finally moving around more, able to go to the bathroom myself and get myself a glass of water, that I decide I’m going to bring it up. I’ll broach the topic gently, give him every chance to tell me he’s not ready. 

I thought that being still and stuck on the couch was bad for making me paranoid about what he could be thinking. Somehow, though, it’s worse now that I’m back on my feet. 

Joel comes to me that morning when I’m pulling on a fresh pair of socks. (A fucking luxury.) He stands in front of my couch, his hands on his hips, not quite meeting my eyes. 

“You alright?” I ask him. 

There’s a look on his face that could be concerned or thoughtful, I’m not entirely sure. “You feelin’ up to a ride?” 

God, yes. “Like, on patrol?” I feel the dull ache of my leg, and debate whether I’m able to do patrols yet. I’d try it. I just want to feel helpful. 

“No, nothing like that,” Joel answers, silencing my thoughts. “Just wondered if you wanted to go for a ride. You know, for fun.” 

“Oh,” I say. I don’t know why I’m dumbstruck. “Yeah. I—I’d like that.” 

He nods and rubs at his beard again. (I wish he’d stop doing that. It drives me fucking crazy, imagining my own hands slipping through those short hairs, running up the sides of his face and into his hair.…) “I thought we could talk. Once we’re out there.” 

“…Okay,” my heart does a little leap in my chest. I gulp down my nerves. “I’ll be ready in ten.” 

“You let me know if you need help,” he offers. “I’ll come by with Felix.” Felix is the horse he’s taken a liking to the most here in town. I’ve not met him yet, but Joel and Ellie talk about him a lot. 

“I can come to the stables,” I offer, even though walking any further than around the house is still a struggle. 

He shakes his head, knowing this. “I’ll come by. Take your time.” And he’s out the door. 

I know I said I was ready to talk—hell, I was going to initiate it—but it just got very real, very fast. I try not to let my mind race as I get ready; try not to imagine all the ways he could say Thanks, but I don’t feel the same about you, and so it was kinda pointless for you to leave in the first place. 

Ten minutes later, I’ve managed to wrap myself up in some good winter gear: boots, a thick coat, scarf, hat, and some cosy gloves. My leg is still bandaged up beneath my pants, but it feels secure now rather than just painful to have something pressing against it. The jeans Maria gave me are a few sizes too big, so that they don’t press against the wound; I’m wearing one of Joel’s belts to keep them up. 

He’s waiting at the stoop with Felix when I get out there, standing beside him with a hand on his neck. 

“Stay on the step, I’ll give you a hand up,” he says. Felix has his side facing me, the stirrup ready for my good leg to fit into. 

It takes a bit of struggling, a bit of grunting as pain shoots up and down me, but soon I’m up and sitting behind Joel. 

“Hold on to me,” Joel instructs, soft, as he gathers the reins in one hand. 

I do. It might be my only chance, so I do. 

{chapter 3/5}

Chapter Two (Previous)

Series Masterlist

notes: thank u for reading! all interactions are always appreciated but comments and reblogs especially make my lil heart go brrrr <3 take care of yourself, it is the most important thing!

ps: some WIP fics i've got in my docs at the moment are actually written in second person instead of first like this one, i'd love to know your opinion on first vs second in reader-insert fics? also pls come and scream about the tlou show with me i have many feelings

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[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Why Does Change Hurt So Much? Pt. 3

Joel Miller X Wife!Reader Ellie Williams X Dina

Surrogate or not, Ellie was absolutely Joel’s daughter and anyone who argued that she wasn’t could kick rocks. Maybe that was why you felt so protective over her, neither of you were blood related but there was a bond you’d never felt before. a/n:thank you to everyone who has read part 1 and 2! if you do read this feedback is much appreciated warnings:mentions of violence, mentions of wounds, Joel talking about his past, if i missed any please let me know! Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Joel was nearly comatose for a week, drifting in and out of consciousness every now and then as the nurses and doctor made their usual rounds. You didn’t bother to complain one bit, mainly thankful that he was even able to look at you for those brief seconds he was awake. Ellie had indeed brought food whenever she had managed to swing by the cafeteria. She offered to sit with him so you could go home and take a quick shower, which was much appreciated. While you knew there was a chance Joel could wake up while you weren’t there, he’d be more upset if you weren’t taking care of yourself. It was touch and go for the first couple of days, he sparked a very high fever that they couldn’t break. The incisions were healing nicely, no signs of infection which was your biggest worry. Now you just needed him to stay awake for longer than a minute and your mind would be put at ease.

“Hey, Ellie wasn’t able to make it but she wanted to make sure you had something to eat,” Jesse brought over a covered plate of food.

“Thank you, I honestly don’t think I would’ve eaten had it not been for you guys,” You smiled up at him, gently peeling off the foil to dig in.

“Yeah, it’s not easy watching someone you care about not knowing if they’ll survive,” It was upsetting to say the least, this was your world.

Jesse left after a couple more minutes, saying that he needed to attend to his daily duties and would have Ellie swing by later in the day. The food, while more lukewarm than hot, filled your stomach pleasantly. You’d have to make Joel some of his favorites while he was home for however long the doctor said. Maybe you could convince Maria to let you have some of the spare cocoa powder they had and make him a cake.

Joel’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before they opened, glancing around the room and taking everything in. He could feel you sitting beside him, the edge of the plate you were eating off of pressing against the back of his arm.

“Darling?” His throat felt dry, chest aching as he looked over at you.

“Joel! Oh thank god you’re awake!” You wanted to wrap your arms around him but there wasn’t much you could do without causing him pain.

“What happened?” He reached for your hand, grimacing at the way his chest protested.

“Seth and a couple of his asshole friends jumped you, Tommy found you outside and brought you to the infirmary,” You were angry, Tommy had admitted they’d found Seth and the two accomplices just as they were trying to escape the commune’s walls.

Tommy hadn’t said what they had done with the three men and as of right now you weren’t sure you wanted to know. Ellie would most likely speak her mind and make sure they suffered for what they’d done. There were times you wanted nothing more than to go down to the jail and torture them yourself. No, Joel needed you more than anything right now so getting your hands dirty wasn’t the right thing to do.

“Oh, makes sense,” Joel rested his head back against the pillows, having any kind of enemy was a death wish these days.

“Joel Allan Miller, you need to start being more careful!” Maybe yelling at him wasn’t the smartest idea, but goddamnit you were angry with the situation.

If you’d had any sense you would’ve slapped him for being so nonchalant about the entire situation. You couldn’t, and wouldn’t do that though.

“Ellie came by when you were in surgery, we have two new guests,” Maybe it was slightly petty, but Joel was still delirious and you were upset.

“Shit, she’s turning into me,” Joel pouted, reaching up to touch the gauze that covered his wounds.

“You knew exactly what was going to happen, she learned from the best,” You grabbed Joel’s hand before he could pick at the gauze.

He looked almost offended that you denied him of doing something so stupid. The last thing he needed was to irritate the stitches and cause an infection. You simply stared him down, waiting to see what retort he would come back with.

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t make it earlier had to go on early patrol,” Ellie was still brushing off the fresh snow from her jacket as she walked inside.

One of the newcomers was standing behind her almost nervously, her eyes locked onto where Joel was lying, a million and one emotions flashing over her face. It was a sickening realization that she must’ve known who Joel was, there wasn’t any doubt in your mind.

“Hey it’s Ellie bean,” Joel chuckled, hissing out a breath at the pain in his ribs.

“Joel I haven’t been called that since I was fifteen,” Even though she rolled her eyes, the smile on her face gave her away.

“Still always gonna be my Ellie bean,” It was a nickname he’d come up with during one of their many outings.

You rolled your eyes and patted the back of his hand gently, he had stopped trying to go after the gauze finally so you felt it was safe enough for him to not be held down.

“I didn’t get your name the last time we met, I’m Y/N and this is my husband Joel,” You gestured from yourself over to Joel who looked ready to fall back asleep.

“I’m Abby, my friend you met last time is Lev, he’s with Dina right now,” So that’s why he wasn’t glued to her side anymore.

“I hope you’ve been able to settle in, Jackson can be kind of overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” It was true, you’d been terrified to leave your home for the first few weeks.

Abby went to respond before Ellie caught her attention, mentioning that they were serving pot roast at the cafeteria. You’d talk with Ellie later on about what you noticed, right now you needed to get some food into Joel before he passed out again.

“Sweetheart, you need to get some food and water into you before you take another nap, okay?” You didn’t want to push him, but he needed some nutrition.

Joel just nodded, head lolling to the side as you ran out of the building to go and get him something to drink and eat. Ellie and Abby were close enough that you could make out the expression of joy on Ellie’s face. While you didn’t want to confront Abby, you knew the truth was going to come out eventually. For now you were going to make sure your husband was fed before worrying about everything else.

Tommy had already packed up two plates, along with a thermos full of ice cold water for you to take back to Joel. It was nice to know that his brother cared about him so much, considering how much shit you’d gone through lately. How could you even bring up that one of the people from Joel’s past was now inside of Jackson’s walls? No, don’t start thinking about things like that, Joel is fine.

“Hey!” Shit, you were almost back to Joel.

“Hey, what’s up?” You turned to face Maria who was now standing across from you, her raised brow caught you off guard for a brief moment.

“I was heading over to see what Tommy was doing, but I can already see what that might have been. How’s he doing?” Maria was kind and friendly, but right now your emotions were running wild.

“He’s starting to stay awake for longer than a few seconds which is nice, Ellie swung by earlier to check on him,” And nearly gave you a heart attack as well.

Maria nodded to herself, looking down at her snow boots before her gaze locked back onto you. She could see right through you, and damnit it was not a nice feeling whatsoever.

“I met the new girl too, she seems friendly,” Just a few more steps and you’re home free.

“Yeah, Tommy met her yesterday, she’s gonna start training so they can see how she does on patrols,” Of course, they needed all hands on deck.

“Makes sense, Joel’s gonna be out of commission for a while so if you guys need me for anything please don’t hesitate to ask,” Sure you wouldn’t willingly leave Joel on his own, nor did you expect them to ever truly ask for your help.

Maria assured you she would ask if there was something you could help with, patrols would be off the table entirely. Could you even handle leaving Joel for longer than a few minutes? No, it sounded too painful to think about. You sighed to yourself and finished the walk back to the infirmary hoping that Joel had managed to either stay awake, or wake back up. To your delight, or horror you weren’t entirely sure, there was already someone in the room.

“Oh, I didn’t think anyone else would be here,” The woman turned her head, jumping up from the chair as if it shocked her.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize there was anyone else here,” You narrowed your eyes at her, did she not know who he was? Who you were?

“I was just getting some food for my husband, for when he stays awake long enough to eat,” The air in the room filled with a tension that could’ve choked you, you held your ground and made it known you wouldn’t back down.

“He reminds me of my dad, maybe a little bit grayer but, yeah,” That wasn’t what you were expecting. Most women still tried to throw themselves at Joel, even when he made it known he wasn’t interested.

You set down the plates nearby, stepping over to the opposite side of the bed so that you could not only see this stranger, but also keep an eye on the door. The nurse would be making her rounds in a few minutes which helped ease your mind.

“How old was he?” You weren’t sure why you were trying to engage this girl in conversation, but it felt rude not to.

“Forty eight when he died, happened before my mom and I got to Jackson,” Too young, you hadn’t known Joel when he was that age.

“That’s so young, have you and your mom been here long?” Why did you feel protective of this girl now?

“A few years, we got here after Joel and Ellie came back,” You had already been living here for about a year when Joel Miller arrived with his daughter.

Surrogate or not, Ellie was absolutely Joel’s daughter and anyone who argued that she wasn’t could kick rocks. Maybe that was why you felt so protective over her, neither of you were blood related but there was a bond you’d never felt before.

“Sorry for barging in by the way, I had come in with my mom and got sidetracked,” The girl laughed nervously, stepping further away from the bed to make her escape.

“It’s okay,” You didn’t want to make things any more awkward for her.

The room fell silent as she all but ran out the door leaving you, and a once dead asleep Joel to occupy it. It was all the stress, you were overthinking everything after nearly losing Joel for the second time, nothing to worry about. 

“Smell food,” Joel mumbled slowly, hand reaching towards you blindly.

“Yes I brought food, figured you’d be hungry by now,” You stepped over to where the plates were, grabbing one to help Joel eat since he’d most likely need assistance now.

He managed to stay awake for nearly half the plate, humming after every few bites as you helped him eat. It was nice to know that he was still able to eat without any struggle, lord knows you had been worried he’d start to lose too much weight being in bed. 

“I heard Ellie came by with someone, is she nice?” His eyes were slightly unfocused, though you weren’t entirely surprised.

“Yeah she’s friendly, they’re training her to see if she’d be good for patrols,” It was easier to tell Joel the good things about what’s been going on lately.

Would you ever tell any of them the truth about who she was? Or would you keep it all hidden away so they never knew? Shit, this wasn’t going as planned and you were getting more stressed by the second. Joel could practically feel the unease pouring off of you in waves, what had gotten you so worried that you wouldn’t talk to him about it?

“They found Seth!” Ellie burst into the room, sneakers skidding to a squeaky halt when she realized that Joel was awake.

“Why were they looking for ‘im?” Joel was still groggy, eyes drooping as he fought off the tight grip sleep had on him.

“Joel, Seth is the reason you’re in the hospital,” Ellie raised a brow at him, had he completely forgotten what happened?

Joel grumbled under his breath, pulling the blanket higher to fight off the chill that lingered in the room. Shit, if he’d forgotten something like that, then what else was he bound to forget?

“Isn’t the first time I got put into the infirmary for protecting someone I cared about,” That caused your brow to furrow in confusion, what had that meant?

“Joel?” You turned towards him, abandoning the plate you were about to eat off of.

“Tess was being stalked by this guy, so I decided to pay him a visit, ended up killing him but the fucker got a good enough jab that I had internal bleeding,” You’d always known that Joel was protective of those he cared about, but to hear this shocked you.

“I swear to god Joel, if I find out that you’re here because of Tom,” Joel snickered to himself, grimacing as the pain in his side spread over his entire stomach.

“He fucking deserved what happened, wouldn’t leave you alone,” Maybe it was the protective side in him, maybe it was seeing one of his closest friends nearly get killed, who knows.

Tess threw her hands up, walking away before she could berate Joel any further and end up saying something that was mean. The plus side was Tom wouldn’t be around to stalk her around the QZ anymore. No, no rewarding Joel for making terrible decisions that were going to get him killed one day.

“No more picking fights, the last thing we need is you getting killed because some asshole decided that I would be his next victim,” Tess could defend herself, having done it for years before meeting Joel.

“You know that’s not going to happen, gonna protect you no matter what,” Joel would fight until his last breath, no matter who it was for.

“Joel,” You couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your cheeks, he’d been through so much that you were completely unaware of.everything that had happened to him.

Joel frowned, opening his arms as much as was feasible and held them out towards you. You all but threw yourself into his embrace, tears soaking into the thin t-shirt he had on. This man had defended so many people and what did he get in return? Ellie walked over quietly, wrapping her arms around the both of you in what she hoped was a comforting embrace.

“I love you so much, don’t you ever forget that,” You pressed your face further into his chest, sighing in relief when his arms wrapped tighter around you and Ellie.

“I love you too, both of you,” Joel ruffled Ellie’s hair, chuckling when she pushed his arm away with a huff.

Things were going to work out perfectly fine, you’d have Joel back in the house before you knew it and he’d be back working with the sheep. It was all going to be fine.

-

Everything was in fact, not fine, as Joel’s body healed and his ribs were no longer broken, he was adamant about getting daily exercise to make sure that he didn’t get sick. Tommy had mentioned they’d taken care of the men who attacked Joel, Ellie was oddly quiet that day. Joel had tried to engage her in conversation but she continuously shut him down. It had you worried that something had happened during the “trial” a few people had attended. You had wanted to go, to watch Seth suffer for what he’d done, but Joel needed you at home.

“They executed them, everyone” Ellie was quiet, legs pulled up so her chin rested on her knees.

“They attacked Joel after he defended you, I’m sure they would’ve done much worse,” You had a feeling something had happened but to hear that they were executed made you feel some type of way.

Joel hadn’t asked about Seth, or his ridiculous goons even after he was back home in the comfort of his own bed. You were somewhat thankful Joel hadn’t said a word, more curious about his past than anything. You knew about Tess, about how they’d met Bill and Frank through the radio, the lunches they would have out in the countryside. It made you wish you knew more about him, about the man he was before the world collapsed.

“Does this make us bad people?” Ellie had always been afraid of being lumped in with people like raiders, they were the scum of the earth.

“Getting rid of a few people to save hundreds is sometimes the best thing to do,” Maybe killing someone wasn’t the best thing to do, but if Seth was willing to try and kill Joel because he defended Ellie? It didn’t matter how upset you were, Seth had to go.

The one thing you would never let Ellie believe is that she’s a bad person for doing what it takes to stay alive. There were plenty of things in your past that would make Ellie think twice about ever trusting you again.

“Hey, could I talk to you?” Abby, the newcomer you’d slowly warmed up to, was standing beside the table you and Ellie were sitting at.

“Uhh, yeah, of course,” You pushed yourself up from the table, letting Ellie know to stay so you wouldn’t lose out on your seat.

Abby quickly talked outside, shoulders hunched forwards as if she was afraid to say what was on her mind. Would this be the big breakthrough that you were waiting for? Shit, how was this conversation even going to go? She turned down one of the alley’s, if it could even be considered that, and stopped when the two of you were about halfway down.

“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault that your husband came back hurt the first time. My friend and I were looking for supplies and that’s when I realized he was even in the room with us,” She sighed, playing with the end of her braid nervously.

“He didn’t even put up a fight when I stabbed him, just grabbed my wrist so I couldn’t run off too quickly. I was afraid he was there to kill us, wouldn’t be the first time I was stalked by someone looking to settle a score,” Her voice slowly trailed off, leaving you both confused and oddly comforted.

You had always known that Joel wouldn’t fight a kid, not after seeing what Ellie had gone through years prior. Then again Joel wasn’t above killing someone if it meant keeping himself safe during patrols either.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You weren’t mad, the world outside of Jackson was scary and you’d gladly stay inside if it meant being safe.

“You deserved to know the truth, that Joel wasn’t picking fights when everything happened,” The two of you locked eyes for a brief moment, the sudden realization that she was just a kid hit you like a ton of bricks.

Abby couldn’t have been any older than twenty, which in your eyes made her a kid just like Ellie was. She was a scared kid that was trying to find her way in the world just like everyone else was. You couldn’t even imagine how old her friend was, probably barely even a teenager if his height was anything to go by.

“I’m not mad, was I upset finding out Joel had gotten hurt? Of course, but I know how dangerous this world can be, you don’t have to apologize,” It wasn’t even an apology that you needed to hear, Joel needed it more than anyone.

You weren’t going to do that to Abby though, not with Joel just being out of the hospital recently and back in the house. There was no telling how he would react to being told that the person who’d stabbed him was living comfortably in Jackson as well. Things would be okay, after a conversation with your husband you’re sure.

“I just felt terrible, and then I ran into Ellie during their last supply run and I didn’t have the guts to say who I was,” Her hands were shaking now, a frown pulling down your face.

Before you could question yourself you pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing her shoulders to let her know that she was safe. If things were different you’d surely never forgive the teenager for harming him, but the world wasn’t normal anymore.

“You don’t have to apologize, just try and stay out of trouble from now on, okay?” You patted her back gently, releasing her from the hug as the two of you went your separate ways.

Things were slightly tense between you and Ellie once you got back inside, she was curious as to what Abby had to say and you weren’t comfortable spilling those details. After a few minutes of prodding she eventually gave up and continued eating the food she’d ordered. You would tell Joel eventually, when he wasn’t so tense and willing to risk his health because he was upset.

Everything would be just fine, you were sure of it, Joel would understand why you didn’t tell him and Ellie just wouldn’t need to know. This was the right thing to do.

“So how are you and Dina doing?” Maybe a topic change would do you guys some good.

“Really good, we’re gonna hang out later tonight unless you and Joel need us?” Ellie would drop everything if it meant getting back to a normalcy with Joel.

“No, I think we’re just going to relax on the couch and read tonight, not much he can do with his ribs still healing,” That was a partial lie, you would be reading while Joel napped on you.

It would be a peaceful night at least, nothing to do except read one of the new books Tommy had given you and make sure Joel took his medicine to make sure he didn’t fall again. That was nearly as scary as when he had arrived with an infected wound after three weeks. Joel would never admit that he had fallen though, his pride would take too much of a hit. The man was just too stubborn, though you found it endearing most of the time when he admitted his little faults. You never told anyone about the issues he had, whether it was his knee giving out or nearly burning dinner because he'd forgotten to turn off the stove.

"Are you sure this is going to be comfortable for you?" You didn't want to argue with him, but while you had plenty of pillows to lie on, Joel just had your body.

"Yes, now open the damn book and get to reading so I can take a nice nap," You rolled your eyes, opening the book up to page 1.

Joel smiled to himself, situating himself so that he was laying on top of you with his head against your chest. He was a typical man, and laying on his wife's chest was too comfortable for him to deny and say it wasn't. He was damn near positive Tommy did the same thing with his wife whenever he wanted somewhere comfy to rest his head.

The book was interesting enough, sucking you into the fictional world of knights and kings. The amount of bloodshed was downright shocking to you, it felt as if they were writing about your current world, and not one hundreds of years in the past. Joel had fallen asleep within a few minutes of you reading, lightly snoring as his arms wrapped around your waist. You propped the book up on his back, turning the pages with your fingers carefully.

You had started to run your fingers through his hair, smiling at how soft the strands were even after his latest hospital stay. Of course that got your mind wandering, who had ever gotten the chance to see Joel like this? Had he opened himself up to Tess like this? Or had he kept his heart closed off in fear he'd get hurt once again and be left in the dark? No, it was silly to think of something so miniscule, Joel had loved you and that was that. Just because he didn't tell you every single thing about his life didn't mean he didn't love you.

Shit, your mind was slowly spiraling with the negative thoughts and there was nothing you could do to stop them. It was better to let everything run its course instead of trying to fight it off and making it worse. Joel would be able to sense that you were upset when he woke up. Maybe you could bring up everything then, have an adult conversation and figure out all these emotions together. That wouldn't be such a bad idea, it was better than bottling it all up inside until you exploded on him.

That's it, you're going to wait until Joel wakes up and have an adult conversation about how you're currently feeling. That way you can both figure out the best course of action instead of acting like two idiots. Ellie had more adult conversations than you did, so clearly you could do whatever you set your mind to. 

"Hmmph," Joel rubbed his face into your chest, tightening his arms for a brief moment before he relaxed once more.

You were afraid you'd woken him up during your internal monologue, but looking down there were no signs he was awake at all. The conversation could wait, for now you would enjoy this new book and the weight of your husband's body. Easy enough.