#and every day she goes on about How Much She Hates what theyre doing

[toxycodone]

Hey Toxy! Sorry for the sudden radio silence on asks from me, but I got nasty icky sick.

Any quick thoughts on the Touden Party (post Falin being revived) with a gn!reader or fem!reader who got sick (stomach bug or flu is okay with me)?

Thank you again! Love your blog!

-Deer Anon. 🦌❤️

NOOOO OMG...im so sorry to hear that i hate. the flu. I had it in the beginning of this year and when I tell you I was DYING. ugh.

Laios

Probably the most visually affected. Literally says out loud "that's awful!!" when he hears you're sick. Bro is not having it

He's not squeamish, so he volunteers to check on you (along with Falin, theyre a duo).

He holds your hair back when you throw up. King

I think he spends a lot of time unintentionally fretting about you. Will you be okay? Getting sick is the worst. He just ultimately feels bad.

I think he tries to distract you by reading or trying to play games. The others have to keep him from you because he's so eager to just hang out and doesn't really think about the reality that hey. you have something infectious!!

Falin

She's genuinely an unbothered queen in the best way possible. Because she doesn't freak out or anything. Falin is just like "okay" and comes up with her game plan

She's good at nursing you back to health but she doesn't overdo it. Falin is really lowkey and honestly an excellent caretaker. She's the one monitoring your temperature and making sure you get enough fluids and she doesn't cringe when you vomit everywhere. Just frowns and gets to cleaning up.

She'll use her magic to help alleviate your symptoms before she goes <3

Marcille

Instantly freaks. Because ew germs and being sick but also like are you gonna be okay?? Marcille wants to like consult every medic in town before Falin reassures her its cool

Marcille makes the best herbal tea for you...since Falin has you covered with the magic, Marcille focuses on her home remedies and such.

SHE WOULD DO YOUR HAIR. It's an act of love. Usually people don't think about that but having icky hair when you're sick is the worst and Marcille won't have it.

Chilchuck

Oh I know he's immediately thinking of a lecture. He wants to go to you and tell you about how he told you so and you shouldn't have pushed yourself

But when he sees you he just sighs. You look terrible (affectionately) and he just feels super bad. Chil presses his hand to your forehead and tsks and immediately starts doing the mental checklist of what he'd do for his daughters when they were sick

He kinda chides you, but ultimately he settles to change your bedding when it gets too sweaty and make sure you're getting some sort of bath/shower.

He also does that dad thing where he comes into the room and just looks at you when you're sleeping to make sure you're good

Senshi

SENSHI THE GOAT IS MAKING AN IMMACULATE CHICKEN SOUP FROM BONE BROTH HE MADE PREVIOUSLY AND STORED. He is so real.

He doesn't pressure you to eat and just like, makes sure you're at least drinking the broth to get your strength up.

I also like to think he'd attempt to make the Orc medicine he learned while living with them too, just in case. Even small doses of that could hopefully get you feeling better.

But he's helping Chil with the sheets and washing dishes and such. Senshi also stays in the room with you when he has down time during the day and will read you pa

Izutsumi

Eh...do not expect much from her. But she assists the others in the background. Mainly by helping Senshi or Chilchuck take care of you.

She could probably tell you were sick like the day before and avoided you or mentioned you having a strange smell.

But when she hears you're sick she's like :/ "called it"

When no one else is there she "begrudgingly" sleeps at the foot of your bed. It helps you with the chills but also when you have a fever you're really warm

(She probably also gets sick then you have to help her out since its "your fault" hehe)

[snarltoothed]

okay like two out of three of my cats are like… on death’s door basically despite them being all roughly the same age and sharing the same genetics (mother aged 16, son and daughter aged 15) and while i’ve accepted that i’ll be exceptionally lucky to get even another year or two with the momma cat (bonded to me) and that her son (bonded to my mom) is not too far behind… despite being the runt 15 years ago, the daughter (also bonded to me) is still quite spry and in good health so i literally tell her sometimes like you’d better live til you’re 20. i need at least five more years with you and also some time in between you and your mom dying. please.

[nephilimbrute]

ur agents in particular FASCINATE me so so much i love your interpretations of them. could u tell us more about them and their stories? particularly 8, theyre so interesting!!! why do they hate marina? what happened between them and 3? what’s their relationship like with 4? anything you wanna say abt them, i’d love the infodump

omgosh....😇

a few days ago i wrote a thing that like. detailed stuff about major events with 8. i'll paste them here

agent 8 during the entire course of Octo Expansion was extremely shaken up. they couldn't think straight at all, leaving them vulnerable. sanitized cap3 wasn't much different too, she still had some control over herself and she never wanted to fight 8, making the battle between them long and confusing. eventually 8 gave up and walked up to her, ripping the sanitized goop right off her head (which, to cap3, felt like shoving a screwdriver into her eye)

during the inner agent 3 fight, was unconscious, so this was more like a a made-up battle. this 3 (dubbed enigma3) was formed out of cap3's repressed traits of herself and how 8 sees her, rather than being the 3 that 8 saw fight octavio. she's quiet, cold, confusing, and only wants to play mind games with 8. she never really left 8's conscience, but only appears when agent 8 is deathly worried about cap3

after the events of Octo Expansion, 8 absolutely adored marina. they were still a little shy though, so when marina wanted to talk to them they would kind of freak out. marina didn't mind though, and they were able to get to know each other somewhat, with 8 adapting some of marina's traits and behaviors. 8 had nowhere else to go other than sleeping behind crusty sean's food truck and park benches, so pearl let them stay with him and marina for 2 months. after those two months, pearl got in touch with agent 4 via marie (making him fawn all over meeting off the hook) and asked 4 if he could let 8 stay over (since pearl felt like they were watching him in his sleep) and fortunately, 4 said yes

after 8's mind finally clears up they start to question what's wrong with them and feel the weight of overthinking, which sends them spiraling down for the years to come (presumably the effects of tartar messing with their brain). 8 relentlessly questions cap3, rarely leaving her alone, and in turn it affects their relationship with cap3 in a negative way. when asked why they're so curious, 8 goes silent and refuses to answer

(small bit about cap3) cap3 feels like she's at fault for how 8 turned out since they started breaking after OE. she tries to make it up for them but she thinks she's only ruining them. her expectations for herself are set higher and higher, yet nothing she does is good enough. she won't give herself a break, beating herself up over every little detail and being highly critical to the point where she's stuck in a loop of self-destruction and loathing

8 slowly loses their trust in things and those they love, becoming scared and paranoid. it wasn't until side order that this was more prevalent.

in side order (AU), 8 has lost most of their memories, and the moments with the other agents and idols still remain but just barely. 8 is afraid of marina and has a deep dislike for her, but this was due to them not thinking for themself, instead listening to their gut. their brain fog is back more than ever, and whenever they try to walk for prolonged amounts of time they end up stumbling to their knees.

they can no longer tell the difference between reality and fiction. it's all a blur to them. they can feel marina's eyes everywhere. they can barely remember if who or what meant something, anything, to them. though having a deep dislike for marina, they want to be held by her. to be loved like a child. they never ask her of anything, instead just letting it burn into their brain until it breaks them completely. they want attention but they fear they'll be seen as needy and annoying. they want to apologize for everything and be forgiven. 8 doesn't know who is who, they've been copied so much they're just deemed a blank slate to be imprinted on. they watch everything disappear from their hands, unable to do anything about it. from being excited about what's to come in the near future, to being scared about losing the present and wanting to go back to the past

and then here's another little bit about 8 in side order: represents a crumbling mental state, begging for reassurance, desperately trying to hold on to fleeting memories. their trust is lost in everything but they want it all to return to normal, struggling to accept the fact that it never will

then about marina: represents a mother figure somewhat, but even she still fails to live up to that role fully. she distances herself from 8 who is always going after her just to be comforted, yet she denies it for them. she has the same goals as 8, clinging on to the present and never embracing change, but doing so only harms her and others and this behavior continues on and on

+ marina doesn't want to interact with 8 because she sees her younger self in them, she refuses to go back to that era of her life and 8 keeps promising her they'll be what she wanted to be. anything for them to be accepted, to be held in loving arms again. the lack of communication between them makes their relationship even more strained. but clearly marina still cares about 8, they were the only one to be let out of her mind control. she wanted to check on them and make sure they're okay, but what she got in return was someone that hated her

^^ their relationship is basically like this. constantly wanting to communicate with the other but being pushed away, they never fill each other's voids

onto agent 4 and 8... they have a relatively healthy relationship. 4 is 8 (and cap3)'s shoulder to cry on, he always tries his best to help them with whatever. since him and 8 both like off the hook, they'd talk about them non stop. 8 likes to give 4 details about how oth are off-stage since 8 frequently hangs out with them and stuff

4 appears as parallel canon in side order, but instead of other copies of himself, the other robots resemble agent 8 and cap3. they all circle 8 and mock them for forgetting everything about themself and their significant others, much like inner agent 3

nd i don't think i got anything else to say about those 3......that's all^_^ i'm soooo normal i'm normal

[sheikahwarriork]

Do u have any dimileth headcanon??

LMAO TOO MANY. here's a brief(?) list

dimitri fell in love right away when they met but realized it only during the rain scene

byleth fell in love more slowly and realized it at the goddess tower (academy)

sylvain knew about dimitri's crush all along and kept teasing him about it but dimitri was dense and clueless and always like "i dont know what you are talking about, sylvain. my only feelings toward the professor are admiration, care, and the wish to spend all my life at her side. totally normal"

during the fishing tournament, byleth asked dimitri to keep her company. dimitri was confused, the professor always fishs alone!, but gladly accepted. she also tried to teach him how to fish but he kept broking the fishing rods

byleth always spends at least 3 hours at sunday having tea with dimitri (its me im byleth)

the first time byleth tried to make tea for dimitri, she made a chamomille too strong for a normal human to enjoy. luckily dimitri isnt normal and it was the first time in years he tasted something. byleth keeps over-pouring his chamomille just to see him enjoying some taste

dimitri cant cook for shit. byleth only knows how to stew at a campfire. dedue is their savior

(dedue knows about dimitri's crush too but doesnt tease him about it)

they love each other in every universe, in every timeline. even if they dont realize it, or one of them (dimitri) dies, they still love each other and always will.

dimileth CF: edelgard is the one who kills dimitri, byleth tries to stop her but fails, and after she spends an entire day hugging dimitri's corpse, unable to understand why her heart feels so broken (since when does she have a heart?)

dimileth VW: after the timeskip, byleth meets dimitri for the first time at the gronder. she rushes to him and hug him, whispering "i thought you were dead", and dimitri replies " i thought it about you too". then an archer hits dimitri on the back. he looses strenght on his legs. byleth starts screaming. dimitri doesnt look at her, he only says "i always wanted to dance with you" and dies. byleth turns back time till the monastery and now chooses the blue lions :)

dimileth SS: (wooo "ghost scene".) dimitri always loved the professor from afar. and hes not dead, but he knows he's about to, so he goes to the monastery to see the professor one more last time. he needs to tell her what hes doing, what hes about to do, but looses all his composture once he sees byleth smiling at him in relief (she thought he died- offscreen during gronder). ohhh but he needs to go now, he feels like that smile isnt meant for him, this isnt his- their story; maybe in another life. this is dangerous. why this urge to kiss her, why right now? he needs to go, now. "im sorry, professor. im a coward, i've always been a coward. i came here to tell you-" shes crying, shes smiling. "i love you too".

woooo too much angst. back to the romcom fluff

when byleths asks dimitri to go to the sauna with her, he heats up so fast not bc of the heat, but bc the professor is in her underwear sothis help me-

mercedes knows too. (actually every blue lions knows. theyre not very subtle) she tries to help byleth realize her feelings by talking through metaphors but byleth is too dense and she keeps wondering why mercedes always talk to her about "the goddess and her king"

during academy phase, dimileth dont kiss. but according to sylvain, they spend all the time "eyes-fucking each other". true!

their first kiss? lmao actually at the S support scene. theyre clumsy and a bit awkward- its the first kiss for both- but its also the best one of their lives. bc its the beginning of their life.

sothis hates both of them (lovingly). A LOT. she considered many times to get control over byleth's body just to make those two fuck. everytime byleth smiles under her breath when she thinks about dimitri and then wonders "what is this hot wave im feeling? must go ask manuela about it" sothis starts screaming

at the ball, dimitri spent all the night looking for the courage to ask the professor to dance. once he collected it, he sees claude dancing with the professor! (how dare he!) (why am i so jealous?!) the next time he spares with claude, claude ends up in the infirmary. "oops. my crest activated :("

they have many children and lives happily ever after forever.

("brief list" my ass.)

hope you enjoyed this! many of these hc comes from a very long fic i wrote some time ago that i still havent published, but im working on its translation (its currently only in italian) and maybe, one day, it will be on ao3. i hope so. :3

[calkale]

Younger icemav headcanons

older icemav headcanons here

Another timeline before i get into it ✌️ they met at top gun obvi and hooked up after the layton rescue, mav went back to top gun (for 3 months) but still kept in touch with ice, mav finally confessed years later it was like 1995-2000, they went through a bit of a rough patch after that but they did make up and started their relationship, mav became a test pilot in 2006 and ice stopped flying around then too

-Ice has a tramp stamp, this one is not up for debate this is real val kilmer told me, he got it in like 1984 but imagine that sexy old man with a tramp stamp hello

-mav thinks the tramp stamp is really hot but he does make fun of it

-the biting thing ice did in the locker room awakened something in mav, that was when he realized just how much he wanted ice

-one time when mav got deployed for like a year ice didnt bleach his hair and let his natural colour (medium to light brown) grow out and when mav came back he was so shocked, he dyed his hair again years later but they both agreed ices natural hair suited him more now

-mav drinks instant coffee and ice hates it

-Ice smells like coconut, this ones kinda canon cause of the shaving cream or whatever in his locker. He has coconut shampoo and conditioner too he takes such good care of his hair and forced mav to do the same, he figured out mass hair type and picked the perfect shampoo and conditioner for him

-mav was the one who confessed, he couldn’t take just hooking up and being that weird line between friendship and relationship anymore he needed to tell ice how he felt, ice was terrified but he did want to be with mav and he told him that, mav didn’t understand immediately, they got in an argument about it and after slider came and talked to mav, he overheard most of it and he knew how much ice liked (loved) mav so he had to do something. He had watched their whole relationship and listened to ice go on and on about mav for years and didn’t want it to end just because ice couldn’t talk about something. He knew it probably wasn’t his place to tell mav about ices past but if ice hadn’t told mav by now he probably never would, mav was stubborn and it did take about a month to really rebuild what they had but they agreed to give an actual relationship a try

-before carole died she told ice she hopped there would be a day they could get married, she was one of the few people who knew about their relationship and really wanted the best for them, ice never told mav she said that until their wedding day

-they look after bradley all the time, they pick him up from school, take him out for ice cream, take him to the beach and he loves it, one day when they were picking him up from school he told his friend that his dad and pops were here and ice and mav almost cried right there

-they share clothes, mav steals ices shirts and sweaters and theyre too big for him but he loves it cause it feels like a hug and smells like ice, ice also wears mavs shirts and theyre way too small on him theyre so tight but that doesnt stop him and it shows off his muscles so

-mav loves being called cute or pretty, hes so used to people just calling him hot or sexy (which he is) but the first time ice called him cute he blushed so hard

Nsfw under the cut

Nsfw

-they’ll fuck anywhere, usually its when they’re both drunk and horny and looking for a place to do it but it happens when theyre sober too

-mav is the one who gets fucked, he tried fucking ice once or twice but neither of them really liked it, mav takes control sometimes but its rare, ice likes being in charge especially in the bedroom

-ice loves to edge mav, he always wants to see how far he can go and loves to hear mav beg

-he also loves to overstimulate mav

-mav definitely has a think for ranks (so does ice but hes less likely to admit it), mav calls ice admiral in bed and they roleplay, every time ice goes up a rank mav makes such a big deal over it

-ice loves to make mav watch, he’ll fuck him in front of mirrors and hold his head so he cant look away or he’ll tie mavs hands behind his back on a chair then lay on the bed and get himself off, he knows mav loves it just as much as he does

-he also likes to make mav get off by himself, he’ll make him rub on his thigh or finger himself, this is usually a little reward after he’s been a brat all day because he doesn’t deserves ices dick but he does deserve to come

-ice loves when mav wears panties, he’ll wear them all day and sometimes he’ll show ice in the morning so every time they see each other throughout the day ice knows or he’ll keep it a secret until ice undresses him

-mav also loves dressing up for ice, he likes wearing girly stuff like short skirts, short shorts, little dresses, lingerie but also those jeans he always wears that make his ass look amazing he knows those drive ice wild (those r the only type of jeans he owns), he likes wearing suits too or his dress whites ice thinks he looks so cute when hes all fancy

-yes they keep the skirts and dresses on when they fuck

-mav loves ices mouth on him, his mouth, his tits, his dick, his ass, anywhere, he loves when he marks him up too he loves seeing the bite marks and hickeys ice leaves

-theyve had threesomes with slider before, not a lot they prefer when its just them but ice wanted to see slider fuck mav because of their size difference

-mav loves how much ice talks during sex, ice loves to praise mav or call him a brat and put him in his place, he loves telling mav what hes gonna do to him or what hes doing as hes doing it

[mothwithapencil]

your street fighter art has brought me much joy...thank you ^_^ i wasnt too familiar w vega b4hand but. he's got me in his claws now... i'm seeing the vision....i would like to hear more of what u've concocted for his siblinghood w cammy if you would like 2 share! what the dynamic could be like when cammy was still a doll under shadaloo, vs when she started fighting bison, etcetc. the silly the serious how things change over the years >:0 apologies if this is a tall order

(Also. mike tyson cartoon balrog knocked me back. What are the odds that he, too, has a van with "BI GUY" on the license plate)

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE A VEGAHEAD NOW.... He got me in his claws as soon as I saw him... The vega army grows stronger...

His siblinghood with Cammy (and also Decapre) is so very special to me. You can check out this post first for some stuff I said about them that I'll extrapolate on here. RAMBLE TIME.

Vega and Cammy are very similar and share several traits and I think a lot of it has to do with him having to train and take care of her and the other Dolls. It makes me so very insane that Vega is generally portrayed as this cold and uncaring murder guy who only loves himself, and yet...

Please look at these dialogues from Alpha 3. HE CARES ABOUT HER SO MUCH. IT HURTS. There's so much here. He wants her to be safe. He cares about the girl he took care of so much that he calls M. BISON A COWARD. Bison could kill Vega by looking at him and yet he stands up to him for the sake of someone else's safety. I rambled about their relationship and his feelings towards her more in a text to my gf I'm too lazy to rewrite:

Btw yes I am making a drawing about the braids. They hold so much symbolism TO ME. The braids he did for her... One of the few remaining things connecting them.... It means a lot to him, and you can see how much it means to him in A Shadow Falls:

While she's passed out he just stops to pick up one of her braids and his eyes immediately soften. And then he leaves without really doing anything because he sees that Cammy wants to protect Decapre, who she knows is her sister. He doesn't try to kill Cammy or anyone she loves. Every time he fights her he just sees her as a worthy foe (in the Alpha 3 dialogue up there he later changes his mind about Cammy not being a good opponent as he rescues her from the Shadaloo base). And later in A Shadow Falls when Cammy and Decapre are fighting the other Dolls, he goes against Shadaloo's ideals and frees the Dolls from the Psycho Power controlling them. At the end of the story he throws away his mask. Vega is not heartless... He has kindness and compassion... He has sweetie powers.... He just doesn't want you to know that because he hasn't been allowed to have emotions for so long... He's just stuck working for people he hates. Every time Bison isn't a direct threat to him he just goes back to Bullfighting. He doesn't care about those guys at all and the only thing truly keeping him is probably the fact Bison or another Shadaloo member would show up at his home and kill him if he quit. I think he wishes he could have the same freedom Cammy has... He's proud of her for breaking the cycle of being used as a tool by Bison and wishes he could be afforded the same luxury...

They all even pose the same way... There's a couple pieces of art where theyre posing this way and they share some similar moves too.... The parallels... They compel me....

I don't know if Cammy will ever piece together that Vega is her weird questionably evil possibly clone-related big brother. Decapre is much more similar to him visually and maybe that will tip her off. But for now all of her past growing up in House of Bison is known only to Vega and the fleeting memories kill him every day. He may feel particularly closer to Cammy but he stills shows care and compassion for Decapre too. He loves his sisters so very much and thus....

SOMETIMES A FAMILY IS WHATEVER THIS IS ↓↓↓ ‼️‼️

ITS SO HARD BEING A SINGLE MOM WHEN YOURE AN ASSASSIN FOR SHADALOO AND ALSO A GROWN MAN💯💯

(Also, for the last portion of that ask: I do think Balrog has a "BI GUY" vanity plate. Beef IS Gross, Unethical, and Yucky. That IS what he reads when he sees it. He DOES look at the bi men checking him out and say "we like to put the same thing in our mouth!" Its true. I saw it happen. Lmfao)

[crushedsweets]

hi! just wanted to say i love how in detail your lore is. it’s very well explained and i can understand it very easily so i appreciate that lot! i was wondering if you could talk abt jeff and clockys relationship? i’m curious about how you write them together and i’ve always liked their dynamic!

HIII YOURE SO KIND THANK YOU SO MUCH im glad u can understand it easily cuz ik i do a lot of run on sentences.... OK I WILL TALK NOW

ok. ok. jeff and clocky came around the story around the same time the rest of the creeps did. right after clocky was released from the operator, she was running on rage and exhaustion.

jeff is still teetering between the operator and slenderman because he doesnt want to commit to the full process(?), since it's really painful and can take months. and he doesnt care to. but occasionally he'll take a few of the proxy's pills so he can maintain some control over himself, mostly by force tho.

they kinda both got thrown into the same barn by slenderman. clocky cant afford an apartment, jeff . . cant work. when masky or hoody force jeff to take a slender sickness pill every now and again, he like half dies for a couple days in the barn. natalie understands the pain esp cuz it happened to her most recently. so she kinda(very loosely) takes care of him , aka brings him water and weed . he's kinda grateful but he's just... such an arrogant asshole theyre ALWAYS arguing. she won't hesitate to kick him while he's down

but, of course, they have to coexist somehow. so they'll hang out, get high together, talk shit. he gets morbidly interested in what she remembers of her own kills, and she finds it.. oddly relieving to finally get it off her chest. she uses jeff like a confessional. she's told toby, but its really awkward. jeff is interested. he'll ask questions, get excited, all the weird shit. part of her hates it but again, who else will be so accepting of something like that ?

being around him runs the risk of triggering operator-related episodes, though, so they've gotten into trouble together.

toby doesnt like jeff and gets super aggravated at him and natalie being friends. but natalie thinks its really fucking annoying when tobys like 'u shouldnt hang around him' and tells him to shut up.

ofc nina eventually comes into the picture and jeff starts staying with her more often, leaving nat to the barn.

sometimes nat feels lonely and wishes he stuck around, but she just goes to stay with toby (when slender allows it). most of the time she's grateful he's away and can stop pissing her off all the damn time LOL

jeff is seriously just. ok ill admit i make him very one dimensional, but he literally doesnt care. sure he likes hanging out with her but like... he doesn't really do much in return for her, doesn't clean up the barn, doesn't get her anything, etc. he'll float between the barn and nina's apartment without much thought or consideration. but he'd kill someone for nat, if that means anything

generally theyre not close, but yk. theyre sometimes sorta parttime roommates every now and again.

[popstart]

Am I the only one who feels like the way this fandom talks about female characters is always so like???? Omg girlboss but also a girlfailure I support women’s rights AND wrongs she was robbed!!!! Idk it’s always the same few phrases lol I don’t get it.

OHHHH I AGREE SO HARD💀 seeing the same 3 phrases used to describe the female characters bc they think its a diversity win. ok.

Female character is independent or strong etc -> omg shes suuuuch a girlboss teehee🙈 step on me. other weird and annoying sexual comments bc girlbossery is sexy (or something) and thats the only appeal female characters are allowed to have for a lot of people Female character is kinda cringe sometimes and doesnt succeed at everything -> omg my silly girlfaliure girlloser shes so sillystupid i love her Female character has dimension -> omg??? shes like a girlboss and a girlfaliure at the same time???

ignoring the fact i hate so many things about tacking on the prefix girl to random shit as something that feels like a negative connotation (or something degrading), there is 0 critical thinking people have for female characters and its like. ok man. people come up with 600 random headcanons and backstory elements for every single male character they like but designate the female characters they like to "oh ummm shes a girlboss so i like her😊" AWWEEESOMEEEEE. LOVE TO SEE IT🥴

and to people that dont see that or say that doesnt happen....... it does. i see it with my own eyeballs every damn day. eg; in fanon noah has 8 (or 9? i forget) girlboss sisters and is an expert hacker and speaks 300 languages and knows everything and makes 0 mistakes and is always calculated all the time and has 20 boyfriends while in canon he got kicked out of the opportunity of 100k dollars because he was reading and hates everyone and plays video games all day and is a massive schmuck for 1 single person that being emma. sorry noah fans thats just how it is. headcanons are fine but it gets to the point where its like hey guys what are we doing here.

and ok whatever. say we all stop talking about noah bc god knows he did nothing to deserve it. where do we go from there? the amount of people i see saying they wish there was more f/f in fandom they just dont wanna write it or people that say they wish they wrote f/f more its just too hard has me :I i think it really just proves how little fanon there is for female characters. since generally fanon is what fandom bases its fanfiction and general characterization on and f/f famously contains only women, it makes sense that if its "hard" to write for f/f pairings it means that people just dont care enough about the women to make wide spread fandom interpretations of them.

and it reaaaaaally sucks. total drama has what i consider a pretty good cast of diverse female characters. And sure, a lot of the time the show doesnt do them justice (they were robbed as many many MANY people say) but a lot of them have so much potential and all of them have at least SOME potential. but ofc, due to how theyre treated in the fandom, no one really cares about them outside of them being paired up with men. and even worse, people will just straight ignore them outright a lot of the time because they 'get in the way of their mlm ship' or some bs.

am i saying its inherently misogynistic to write mlm ships? HELLLLLL no. im just saying that the heavy apathy or visceral anger many many many female characters get unless theyre paired up with a man or because they 'get in the way of' a mans love for another man is quite frankly laughable when you consider what actually goes on in the show. this shit was made for kids, these people are kids. its just so weird just how obsessed people can be with a fictional character to the point of these overblown reactions to other characters of the same god damn show

[mangoposts]

girl i need to know ur thoughts on alahna. like for me i genuinely miss her sm bro and it makes me so upset that she still wishes they could be friends -but they’ve just like fully ignored the whole thing and have never said a WORD abt it whereas she’s constantly like reposting stuff about old friendships and such that’s def about them. also i always think about how like even IF they became friends again and like we all found out, there would always be like a sense of awkwardness knowing abt the friendship breakup. like obvi it’s happened before with youtubers and stuff where they’ve stopped hanging out but then a couple years later theyre friends again, but i really don’t know if i see that happening, and like she’s a childhood friend as well so it’s a bit different. ALSO it makes me so sad too how they make such an effort with nate and see him all the time, i just don’t get what happened with alahna like that’s my girlll. AND (sorry i keep thinking of more stuff), with the whole unfollowing thing that started it all, that really caught me off guard cos like they have other friends from boston who i bet they dont see that much, but they still have each other on insta, like there’s no need to fully remove them off all their socials ykwim?

also just another thing (IM SORRY😭) in regards to madi, i love her and think she’s so cute, and honestly by no means do i believe she’s replaced alahna cos their friendships were always so different, but for me no matter how close they get with her, it’s just not gonna compare to their childhood friendships, cos it’ll always be through her mom being their manager, so it lowks work related?? STAWP it sounds like i’m hating on her NO I LOVE HER PLS - and i do think their friendship with her is very genuine i’m just saying like the vibes i get are so diff to their boston friends

like in their videos with alahna/nate/chloe etc the friendships are just so real it just like makes me so upset bro idek( obvs it’s cos they grew up tg but yk😭😭)

sorry for this long ass rant ik its sooo not that serious and none of my business at all but like i genuinely mourn their friendship constantly ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

PLEASE.

PLEASE.

PLEASE.

DONT GET ME STARTED.

I don’t think anybody understand how much i love and adore alahna. No doubt i miss her ass soooooooooooooooooooo bad. I literally talk about it every single day it’s my disgusting roman empire i never stop thinking of her, I’ll die without ever knowing what happened between them. But im sure it was all for a reason, i know it doesn’t look like it makes sense but we weren’t there and we never know what goes down behind the scenes. I don’t think it was anything messy i don’t believe alahna has ever had bad intentions and she never will. But i mean it’s obvious something rough happened if they treat her that differently from the other friends in boston, ill never fucking knoooowwww and i have to get over it one day but i miss her so so so so so so sos is sos sosososowowowowowo BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Fuck. Im not saying anybody is trying to compare, but nobody will ever compare. That’s all and if u don’t like alahna i hate you and block me

[atlasdoe]

you should soooo tell my your remary thoughts

HI HERE ARE MY FAVE REMARY HEADCANNONS

They love holding hands and always do whenever they walk together. literally these two never stop touching each other even if it's just their pinky's they HAVE to be holding each other some way otherwise they'll explode

Remus doesn't like parties and Mary does so whenever Gryffindor have a party Remus will sit in the corner by the window with the smokers while Mary goes out to socialise with her friends and dance. Before she leaves him tho she'll put on a shit tone of lipstick and kiss his cheek so it stays on just to make sure that nobody thinks he's single and tries anything before she goes back. Remus pretends to hate it but really loves how wanted it makes him feel

Remus' favourite thing about Mary is her confidence. he admires her so much and how she can always hold her head high despite the prejudice she faces for being muggleborn. he can only wish that he will be even a tiny bit confident as she is despite him being a werewolf

Speaking on werewolves. In a cannon universe where they're together i imagine the prank happening on the same day or the day after Mary getting attacked by Mulciber. In this universe i'm saying that Remus did care about the prank for the plot. So Mary is shut out in her room because of Mulciber and doesn't want to speak to anyone but Lily is trying to get her talk to her about what happened and while she's doing so makes a comment about Remus also refusing to come out of his room. Mary immediately thinks that the Slytherins had also hurt Remus and goes to the boys dorm to see him (she is the most protective gf in the world) but when Remus opens the door and tries to get out of telling her what happened she mentions that the Slytherins hurt her too in a way to tell him that she understands and Remus sees RED

Hear me out. Remus Lupin is not intimidating in the slightest. So when he goes to Mulciber he's laughed at for even thinking that he could take him. But i hc that Remus knows every defensive spell on the book (because he wants to be able to protect those he loves like his dad protected him)

Remus does eventually tell Mary everything and that's how Mary finds out that Remus is a werewolf

SPEAKING OF PARENTS. Lyall and Hope ADORE Mary. Mary is literally every in laws dream. She's polite and helping and all smiles around them and they can clearly see how much she cares for Remus and how happy she makes him

AND MARYS PARENTS LOVE REMUS TOO. They were skeptical at first because of the scars and the scrawniness of him but once he started talking they fell in love. (and they're obsessed with his welsh accent. they love how he speaks)

AND MARYS YOUNGER SIBLINGS ARE OBSESSED WITH REMUS. Mary in my hcs has an older sister and two younger brothers and because her brothers are so small they think Remus is the coolest person ever. They very bluntly asked him where he got his scars from when they first met and Mary told them that Remus fought a dragon

Yknow the "she's like a shot of espresso" audio of Andrew Garfield talking about Emma Stone?? Yeah that's actually Remus Lupin talking about Mary MacDonald

Remus loves burying his face in Marys neck. It's his favourite place to be and he loves kissing her there

Mary loves kissing Remus' scar on his face and hands. She's always sitting on his lap and running her hands through his hair

Remus LOSES HIS MIND when Mary wears short skirts

THEYRE JUST SO PERFECT YOUR HONOR IM GOING TO THROW UP AT THE THOUGHT OF THEM

[space-woomy]

*throws pan at your head*

talk about it

please...

AUUUGH-

Okaysssssss Mooty

Basically the whole villain 4 stuff happens because Callie dies in Splat 2. Marie's low tide ink doesn't work, and agent 4 ends up using g the rainmaker, which really fucks up octavios robot...a bit too much... it explodes, and Callie ends up dieing in Fours arms.

Everyone's sad, and it hits Four the hardest. She believes that it's her fault entirely, and she quits the NSS. She eventually starts doing Grizzco jobs to distract herself. She realizes that "Ah fuck, this is like, genocide or whatever because this is a sentient species and all that." But continues anyways. She eventually makes her way up to the upperanks and meets Mr. Grizz (either through promotions or a some kinda coincidence or whatever). After a special interview, Grizz is like "wanna help me bring back Mammals? You seem like you hate the world." And Alex (4) is like "yeah. Yeah this world fucking sucks. We're obsessed with fashion, world ending threats happen every day, whole species is trapped underground, YOU'RE literally running a genocide company...fuck it, why not? I hate everyone." And they decide to help grizz with his mission.

O.E happens at the same time as this, and it plays out as it does in the games. Eight moves in with Alex, and she shows her around inkopolis and how to live in the city. Eight can practically taste all the nihilism and edge coming from her, but she sees the kindness and joy in her, and wants to pry it out of the shell of hopelessness.

Molly (3) also becomes friends with Alex, and gets a bit closer to her than 8 does. But the still has a shell up, and they still try to break through...

But before they can do that, the world tour happens! And she goes with Pearl and Marina. Alex also takes part in the memverse, with a piece of her soul getting trapped just like the game.

Now, return of the mammalians is going on, and it's all the same, except there is no Mr. Grizz...instead, there's a masked inkling that's at the top of the tower!!! Neo is able to hold them off until Cap (3) gets there, and they run away. In the end, they're able to stop the rocket from launching in the first place and they destroy it.

S.O starts more towards the end of ROTM, and ends well after it. And when 8 gets out, she can't find anyone belonging to the NSS. They've disappeared. She finds clues to go into the Grizzco headquarters. When she gets there, she finds Alex, having captured everyone in the NSS. Marie, Craig, Molly, and Neo are all tied up. Theyre all very bruised and beaten up too. There's also a big plush doll thing of Callie. Button eyes and everything.

Alex is fucking insane right now. They're all cocky and are acting like a typical Villain type. (Think Will Wood's "Main character" for this...thats...honestly what this entire thing spawned from...) and they fight eachother. There are MANY fuzzy octolings that they're fighting as well, and Alex is very dodgy and swift with fighting. It's revealed that their plan is to cover the world with fuzzy ooze with like, 12 rockets. The one in alterna was a test one.

Alex at this point has completely given up on everything, and thinks of herself as a "hero" in a twisted way. She's saving the world by destroying it, a big reset on everyone. Alex is all cocky and shit too, and is constantly talking and mocking them all. 8 eventually frees them all, but She's out if commission for a bit, and Molly steps up to take on Alex. Alex, frustrated with not being able to beat 8, has an idea. They basically Inject fuzzy ooze directly into herself, and gains claws, sharp teeth, heightend senses, she becomes digitigrade, and is stronger overall.

Now...there are 2 ways that this story goes........

""BAD"" ENDING

Molly and Alex fight, it's intense, and Molly is struggling. Alex is screaming and yelling shit like "YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BETTER AGENT WERENT YOU?!?! HUH!?!? LOOK AT YOU KNOW!!!! CANT EVEN STAND UP TO AN INFERIOUR AGENT" and "COME ON "LIVING TSUNAMI"! COME SPLAT ME!!!"

and Molly is like "...fuck dude...I really wish I talked to you more...man I Hate seeing you like this.. please...you were never the worst...why did this happen" in their head.

It ends up with Alex getting a chainsaw, and tackling Molly to the ground. She trys to push it into them, and manages to really fuck up their arm a bit, but Molly gets the strength to push it back...and gets Alex right in the neck...

She lives for a single second, with a smile on their face...and a single tear running down their face...

Molly and 8 now have double trauma. Yaaaaay!!!!!!!

Marie has even more trauma to!!!!!!

All of them do!!!!!

They stop grizzco, but they're not in that good of a mood for celebration...

(Also, I say "bad" ending because it's, like, a negative ending more like. A non-ideal ending really. I don't like "good" and "bad" endings or whatever...)

"GOOD" ENDING

Same shit happens, except Alex ends up breaking down more in the middle of the fight. She says more stuff that's more like her telling the truth about how she feels, instead of just taunting. At one point, Molly tackles her into a hug and says "Alex, it wasn't your fault! Inkopolis wouldve been attacked if you didn't stop them! Please! Callie wouldnt be mad at you!!!"

Alex breaks out, and they fight some more. Three's arm still gets fucked up, but Alex drops the chainsaw, and she dosent die!!! Yay :D!!!!!!

But she's got so much bottled up and fucked up trauma that they become physically ill afterwards. They beet grizz, and Fours recovery starts.

I've gotten all of this from Will Woods "Main character"

I keep imagining an animatic to the song where 8 and 4 fight with "main character"

And another one which is only the lyric portion of "Silly billy" from that hit single fnf mod. Those lyrics are F I R E

Thank you for hitting me with the pan AAAANDNSNFKFKKDNDNFBRBRNGLSLGJNRNSLALAKCNCNC. XBDJDJFJT9RIEIOEKSJELWLRJNFNFKVPXLABEBTKCKSNRNTJFHDHJFNFNFKGOGJVEAKFIJSHWMXNCNSHWI

If anyone has any questions, please ask!!!

[dramallamas]

The (unserious) notes of Beyond Evil. Episode Three Edition

Previous Episode || Next Episode

Cant wait to psychoanalyse this episode later with the scriptbook!

Jinmuk je te deteste dont even dare feel sad you monster

that shot of Juwon lazing on his sofa im down bad

He has nice handwriting tho

Honestly when is this man not thinking about Dongsik

The fly jumpscared me bc of my headphones

Dongsik you bastard (affectionately)

He is not ok rn

Juwon eavesdropping was me and my flatmate last night trying to find out the drama

The camerawork in this show is beautiful omg

Dongsik has no right to look this fine rn tho

Oop spotted!

Jihwa knew both of them were at the station lol

And bada bing bada boom we are in the recording room

And theyre off and Jihwa is so done

Juwon is so like WTF with this whole thing.

If looks could kill Dongsik would be dead 💀

why at 5am?! WHY WERE YOU UP AT 5AM?!

Bro Juwon doesnt hold back

Dongsik <3

Juwon could murder im sure of it. He has it ij him.

I like watching the gay men fight… because its fun :)

THE ONLY TIME I WILL AGREE WITH HAN KIHWAN IS RN “What a nut job. I like him [Dongsik].”

Juwon pissing off Kihwan is just so great at all times.

Theyre gonna find the wrong body and blow this case even bigger

Dongsik again <3 the onlt dilf of my life tbh

My heart breaks for him though. He masks a lot if pain

“What if I ran into older Yuyeon on the street, but failed to recognise her. That worries me a lot…” 💔

Fellas is it gay to stare at another mans smiling photo for a long time whilst in your room?

Juwon you have always been a crafty bitch and I respect that

YJG is a brilliant actor he is a master at subtle emotions which makes him one of the most expressive characters in the show

YAY you found a phone

Bad news for Juwon its Geumhwas phone that has his number.

Mate ur laughing like a maniac like dongsik does. You two arent as different as you think.

But my god you like to jump to the wrong conclusions

Watching the scene with nam sangbae and dongsik makes me cry but i cant because im in the living room with my flatmates. And the score in the background just 😭

Me 🤝 Dongsik : Laughing to hide pain

Man will stay in work just for Juwon

They back and forth in every scene like its all they do.

Mf going on about the culprit always returning to the scene and here comes JINMUK AHDKFMSP FORESHADOWING WE MISSED

Part of me think that Dongsik is suspicious of Jinmuk atp.

If you told them that they would be so close by the end of the series they would be fucking disgusted.

Oop juwon getting interrogated.

Juwon pausing before adding 요 at the end of his sentence like bro you are forgetting your respect conjugation

oh shit juwon not looking good for you is it.

"Given his nature, there is no way he [Juwon] would get involved in a crime" HYEOK YOU DONT EVEN KNOW-

Hyeok became his tutor in 2010... when JW was 17. does that mean that he helped JW in Korea rather than britain? or the tail end of britain onwards.

Hyeok you are such a kiss-ass

Do Haewon 🤢 she is so fake i hate it (which is the poing ig lmao)

LEE CHANGJIN. hes so funny for a bad guy

Jeongje is so frustrated with his mum (same)

Juwon is this close to slapping Hyeok at times.

aliens? rude much kihwan (what did we expect)

and there goes juwon loosing his cool.

annoyingly kihwan makes some points even if its for self centered gain. still hate kihwan dw

bro standing outside as ppl talk about him like 🧍

And then the eye contact between him and dongsik god having a whole silent conversation

Nice recovery juwon.

Them being nice to each other? NOT THIS EARLY BOIS

And boom personal space who? They dont know it.

Dongsik telling Juwon to go to therapy lmaooo

Juwon grabbing Dongsik probably became a… different thing later on yk? Hehe

This episode is basically Juwon and his terrible no good very bad couple days.

Bro you need to hike/walk more Juwon how are you already sweating.

You make think you have him, but nope he has you.

JUWON BREAKS INTO DS BASEMENT PART ONE HERE WE GO

The tiny bloodstain ofc. He def left it deliberately somewhat

And i am so hyped for episode four because of the incoming moments.

Juwon this isnt the victory you think it is trust me

see you all next episode! bye ^^

[lorillee]

btw can you tell me about how that cat is an incel

AAAHGH i typed out this whole thing and then tumblr screwed it up and deleted everything. wailing and gnashing of teeth. but thats okay. ill explain it again. anyways to any of my 5 remaining warriors mutuals if you see this post and i got something wrong i apologize to be honest its been like a decade since ive read the books that encompass this whole mess. anyways. ive provided a helpful relationship map to give you some visualization and keep these people straight

ok. so tldr. sort of. actually not really but whatever. so basically brambleclaw is a special prophecy boy who gets a dream from the dead ancestors being like "ok you need to go 🚶💼🚗 on this journey 😤💥😎 and do some stuff 😌✨🌠" and brambleclaw is like "ok got it boss 🫡" and goes on his journey to do some stuff. its not relevant to the love drama. squirrelflight invites herself along and they end up becoming friends and later start dating. at some point after this brambleclaw starts striking up a relationship with his half-brother and squirrelflight is Not A Fan partially because his half-brother is Kinda Shady and partially because shes suspicious because of his dad, who is also brambleclaw's dad, who really sucked as a person.

so squirrelflight tells brambleclaw that he needs to stop hanging out with his half-brother, and brambleclaw gets mad and accuses her of suspecting him purely based on their dad (and if she doesnt trust the half-brother because of his dad, what does that say about their relationship etc etc). so they get into a whole fight about it and its a drama and they break up. in the aftermath squirrelflight starts hanging out with ashfur who is Just Some Guy and they start dating. meanwhile leafpool gets a dream from the dead ancestors thats like "ok so get this 👀🤯💥 squirrelflight and brambleclaw 😳👫💖 are like . totally destined to be together forever 😌✨🌠" and leafpool is like "ok got it boss 🫡" and tells squirrelflight. squirrelflight is like omg for real???? and tells brambleclaw and they get back together. ashfur fades into irrelevancy.

shortly before this, however. leafpool breaks off her illegal relationship (illegal because 1) shes a priestess and cant get married or have kids and 2) because the guy shes dating is from a rival clan) but later finds out - oops ! - shes pregnant. unfortunately this is now. a problem. in the meanwhile squirrelflight gets a dream from the dead ancestors thats like "okkkkk so like 😳😭😔 sorry to break this to you but ummmm 🤯💀🧍‍♂️ youre infertile 😌✨🌠" leafpool asks squirrelflight to take her babies and pretend that they are hers and brambleclaws and squirrelflight is like "got it boss 🫡". so squirrelflight lies to 1) the clan 2) the babies and 3) brambleclaw that they are hers and brambleclaw's children. no way thisll go wrong right 😎👍

so things go normally for a few years and everything is fine. then one day theres a huge storm after a drought or something i think and the entire forest catches on fire. squirrelflight is trying to get the kids out (they are adults now) and its a problem but hey look! ashfurs here to help! oh- oh wait whats . whats he doing ummmm. so basically ashfur says something to the extent of "you ruined my life i hate you so much im going to kill your kids in front of you to make you understand how i felt every single day" completely unprompted and squirrelflight is like "um. uhhhh ok well have fun with that because theyre not even my kids 👍" <- clearly last ditch effort to get ashfur to leave and ashfur is like "wait what for real? um. well okay bye then" and leaves.

one of the kids who is a massive stickler for The Warrior Code has 57 moments in a row though because she has just been alerted to the fact that she is an Illegal Baby and Should Not Exist and murders ashfur to prevent him from revealing the truth about them but then ends up having a Mental Illness Moment and tells everybody about leafpools illegal relationship babies at the monthly gathering of all the clans and runs off into a cave and fakes her death kind of. its a whole thing

[elysianstarl1ght]

TF2 HALF-ANIMAL AU

HEAR ME OUT.

au where engie and medic are experimenting, the other mercs are in the room when something goes wrong. they get it contained and don't think anything went wrong, until they all go to sleep, wake up, and find that they all have new animal features.

medic - dove heavy - grizzly bear pyro - scorpion engie - bumblebee demo - 'unknown sea creature' (nessie) soldier - eagle spy - rattlesnake sniper - tarantula scout - rabbit

i wanted to avoid mythical creatures but i really had no idea what to do with demo. but i think imma stick with it because technically its not mythical in the tf2-verse and i have a rlly funny hc about it.. so..

ONTO SOME HEADCANONS!

(warning you. theres alot. a l o t .)

scout constantly complaining that he "got a rabbit of all things and not a cool animal" and refusing to admit he's actually having a lot of fun as a rabbit. he really likes his new ears he'll just never admit it

(also pauling trying to talk to scout through the headphones but his ears are on the top of his head and he cant hear through the headphones

one of the mercs calling pauling to let her know what happened and she shows up at reds base and is just like "what the fuck did you guys DO" and she goes on a huge rant and eventually asks if medic can make an antidote, to which he says yes.

demo having a huge ass tail and constantly knocking things over because he doesnt know how to control it.

medic officially banned him from the infirmary until he could get a cure to un-animalify them. demo went in there ONE TIME on the first day and knocked over an entire cabinet filled with medical supplies and he never went in there again (he darted out of the room instantly because he was worried medic was gonna kick his ass /lh)

engie absolutely loves his wings, he doesnt use them often but when he does he gets so excited and giddy bc theyre SO helpful!! hes probably also rlly protective of them too!

soldier knocks shit over with her wings all the damn time too. she randomly flaps her wings because she Loves Them and wants to show them off and whatever she's next to goes flying. she was also probably one of the only mercs that wasnt extremely concerned when she woke up; she probably shouted "AMERICA!!!!" at the top of her lungs and woke up half the base

spy wearing his mask significantly less because she has scales on the side of his face and under her eyes and the mask rubbing against the scales makes him cringe (sensory issues moment)

also i just find it slightly cruel how i made spy a SNAKE and scout a RABBIT. just- just think about that real quick.

sniper would have the time of his LIFE fucking with his team and the opposing team with his new spider powers!! some examples below

creating web traps to catch them. he especially does this to blu spy when he tries to backstab sniper (and scout just for fun. he falls for the traps every time)

web nets just around corners in the base that the mercs run into

crawling along the ceiling and walls to scare the shit out of his team, especially at night

swinging down infront of them when hes hanging on the ceiling also to scare the shit out of them

yeah sniper probably hated being a tarantula at first, but after he discovered what he could do oh BOY. he never realized how much fun messing with people was!! (he no longer blames scout and pyro for doing stupid shit)

pyro lowkey struggles with their mask and suit because of their new scorpion features. like they have those extra leg thingies and it was a huge struggle trying to get those to work with his suit

and dont get me started on his pincher hand things. pyro struggled. alot.

and his stinger thing. houh boy they probably accidentally killed the mercs a lot of times with that thing...

i dont really have anything for heavy yet (please feel free to drop any hcs) but i can tell you this much he has HUGE bear hands and he has bear ears and medic finds it absolutely adorable.

adding onto this medic wrapping his wings around the mercs while healing them when theyre standing still. like theyre hiding around a corner and medic brings them closer with his wings.

ALSO MEDIC HAS BIRD FEET (he hates it) and he had to cut holes in a pair of his gloves because he got bird talons (he REALLY hates that.)

oh my god thasts... thats a lot of writing... thats not even all of it... oh yikes...

[kitawolf12]

My mom had a lumpectomy Monday and like currently she is fine recovery wise but she almost certainly has cancer, has been told some of it is inoperable, and has told me that she doesn't think she has the capacity to stick to a drug chemo/is nearly unwilling to do radiation chemo so she's probably not going to be fine in the long run or maybe short run.

I am Far Less Okay about all of this than I have been trying to be outwardly but I don't know how long I can keep Functioning??? I'm in a program where some of my team is leaving come April 19th but I'm continuing through the summer and I really want to be helping to reach our goals before then and also to hang out with them before theyre gone since Friendship is really a proximity game... but I want so badly to just lay in bed and cry all day that I don't know How to get myself to do things

And then there's the fact that my mom and brother are going out of the country for 9 days starting on the 20th. I was not invited or told about this until it was already scheduled and I don't know how to share that I'm hurt by not being invited without coming off super entitled since I don't really care about Japan, don't want to spend 9 days with my brother, don't have time to take off work, and don't have the money to contribute to such a trip. But with all this fucking cancer shit I can't NOT think, "Oh cool, my brother gets to go on the kind of trip my mom always talked about wanting to take with us and then she'll die before we get to check out Scotland and Ireland!"

And i just feel so gross. I want to drink. I want to scream. I want to throw things and break them. I want to light the world on fire. I want my mom to be okay and everyone who's ever been mean to her to suffer. She retired the same month the doctors told her she might have cancer, literally back in December. I know retirement is fake nowadays but that's just cruelty! Here's your retirement package: early death at no extra charge.

I've been watching Anne with an E since it's one of the shows that makes me Feel strongly and I got to where Mary was introduced and remembered immediately that she died. My brain told me I had to watch it all the way through which I guess was it begging for some kind of catharsis. Mary is a mother that dies slowly of sepsis while her daughter is still an infant. She and everyone who loves her has to watch her waste away knowing there's such limited time. "Maybe it's a gift to know so we can talk like this," Mary says to her husband, and I can see how it is but how can you really truly speak about it? I love her so much. I don't want to think about what it's going to be like when I can't hug her, when we can't be silly anymore, when... when all that's left of the family I want to be around is gone.

If she dies soon, before my grandparents do, I'm going to be so bitter towards them. I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself. And then there would only be my brother who might argue for me being in the will and HE has no reason to. If she goes I'll probably be disowned for real this time. No one would be safe anymore.

Nothing is fair and I hate it and I'm scared and why does this have to happen while in BLEEDING goddamn it

oh and my mom really wanted grandchildren. Which I have no intention of giving her. so I'm a disappointment in at least one way, without even considering that I'm a queer, liberal, partnerless, underemployed, welfare-using, genderfucky disaster. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry ma, guess you'll be dying unhappy with the state of your child's life unless there are some radical changes.

I don't like the world right now. I don't even like *me* right now.

The sun will be up in a few hours and I need to pretend to be functional tomorrow so I can schedule appointments for Thursday to help old people like I'm contracted to do until August. Motions. I can go through them. I've done it all my life, I can do one more day. Just one more day every day.

[yuukei-yikes]

Omg omg omg. Hi. Ok so idk if Shintaro would tell Takane about how he killed her in Route XXX (I kinda feel like he wouldn’t) but I definitely imagine that Shintaro is extremely guilty about it and the memory of it straight up haunts him at night sometimes. Dude probably has nightmares about it every now and again

Like imagine Shintaro randomly tightly hugging Takane and immediately apologizing over and over again and Takane is just “??” becuz she doesn’t know what happened!! She’s clueless! She’s not reminded of the horrors like Shintaro is!

Anyways thanks for coming to my KageTed Talk have a good day/afternoon/night

I AGREEEEEEE I AGREE COMPLETELYYYYY his ass WOULD NOT TELL HER but he's so haunted by it!!!!

shintaro sees takane and sees the person who was by his side over a hundred times and he even once killed. augh his self hatred and shit.... i want to explode theyre so best friends they love each other so much. they go everywhere together and are always together 👍

also them hugging ;_; _; ;_; shintaro is so bad with words so resorting to a hug makes sense. there's so much art of ene always clinging to shintaro and while takane (in my delusions) has her whole thing with touch i think she's naturally really clingy and touchy so she's also like. jumping on his back and surprise hugging him all the time and he's like AUGGHHH. i love drawing shintaro&takane hugs where takane holds him bc she's the comforter and shintaro is the pathetic wet washcloth that needs hugging.

GRRR GRRRR POST STR SHINTAKA CONFLICTS COMPLETELY UNRELATED BUT imagine takane having a hard time with something and the dynamic shifts and shintaro Has no idea how tackle the situation with a vulnerable takane. sorry the bit in the seventh novel where takane gets upset for like 30 seconds and shintaro's like. I DONT WANNA EVER DEAL WITH SEEING TAKANE DEPRESSED AGAIN. means so much to me.

ok i always talk abt it, takane would just rely on haruka instead, she also wouldnt go to shintaro yknow. but man shintaro would want to help he just doesnt know how to handle seeing takane like a real person. not so much like the ayano thing where he puts her in a pedestal, with takane is more like... he's used to seeing her play a certain role and when takane moves from it bc of her own problems, he's all out of orbit and he's like Whoa what. also like in the seventh novel he wants to scream and run if he sees her upset like Haha what are you doing ur the sneering girlie in my puter STOP CRYING STOP IT STOP IT THAT'S WEIRD.

i think interesting conflict could come from shintaro insisting to takane he's there for her and she should count on him and have take him into account whenever she needs a shoulder, like he makes a big deal out of that but Then when she really needs him he doesn't actually manage to show up. OR!!!! ANOTHER FUN ONE: he goes and tells her problems to haruka or ayano or worse EVERYONE ELSE because he assumes theyre gonna do a better job than him but he puts her in the worst position of vulnerability ever that she HATES AND IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE IN. like imagine he goes and tells haruka for example. idk What. like she's having a hard time with something, probably about her sensory issues (primarily i think she'd talk to haruka, but imagining shintaro is asking her to count on him too and her actually considering it and doing it). and chose shintaro to talk but shintaro just passes it over to haruka. and takane's like. ur going behind my back telling SHIT I TRUSTED U WITH??? and shintaro's like erm erm. hehe. shes not mad about haruka or whoever else knowing, its shintaro running away that she gets angry at. sry i have a whole fic written in my head

anyways. shintaro is trying to be a good friend to takane but their dynamic is weird and strange and tends to fall back to You dont know anything about me and I know everything about you (takane) and With a side of youve known me in this life while I've known you for over a hundred other lifetimes (shintaro). they make me crazy!