#and everything else that is also wtf is just in that zone which makes sense to me

[worlds-okayest-person]

It’s all uphill from here

[whosyourcreepyunclenow]

ETERNAL HANGOUT (the bug I suppose I should share)

if you're tired of goodbyes, try it

invite your friend(s) and go to the cable cars (the icons aren't visible during hangout, so it would be easier to tag the place in advance) wait one, get in, get out, then get in again. you'll see the option to use the cable car for $10, do it. and once more if you're not exited of hanging out on the Chilliad peak.

keep in mind that:

- you can't go to the bar or do any other activity (except shops & customs), the map will be empty as if you were on a mission

- you also can't drop your friend(s) off, only abandon them but you'll still be unable to do something else

- the only way to get out is die

- or load. not sure if you can save during that, but it makes sense to try (as you can save during a normal hangout but not with your phone, the bed only)

- you might accidentally abandon them so make sure they aren't stuck. if you do, you won't get a warning notification to come back, they'll just stop following you (still react on bumps and shoves though, if you're into that))

- they might die. from a tank shot or a plane crash (even if you're on a painkiller and made it out alive)

SO WHAT'S THE POINT? well, first, they'll not be scared when shit hits the fan (did you ever get a message "Trevor got scared" when your car went underwater or something exploded nearby? what a nonsense). second, they'll not be wounded so you can bump into them as much as you want and they'll become much more tenacious during shotouts. third, they'll not suddenly leave you with an unavoidable goodbye cutscene after you spend a few days together. kinda satisfying, for T especially)

♡♡♡

and now a little background. a few months ago I saw a cute trikey dream where they had a cable car ride together. it wasn't the game's one, more like a ski lift but without skis and without even winter, rather a blossoming spring. it felt sorta "secret after-ending scene which you can get only after fulfilling some conditions" so I was somehow aware of myself as a player and took A HELL LOT of screenshots. they weren't an actual couple there, just chilling buddies with a complicated backstory to talk out, so they talked (it's a shame I didn't remember any dialogues, visual only, but the vibes were like "so everything settled, we're both alive thanks to Frank, he did great and we did great too"), they argued, they laughed, and then Michael almost fell off (for wtf reason), Trevor grabbed him. and held in his arms for the rest of the way, Mikey didn't mind (what surprised me most) and they kept talking. then the cable car stopped (or they just jumped off while it was closest to the ground? more likely) and later they were standing on a cobblestone sidewalk, whispering quietly, without moving even an inch away of each other's faces. I turned on my paparazzi mode again wondering why this scene is so underrated and no one even said a word about that. and when I already was like "omfg, they're so damn close it nearly looks like a kiss!!1!1" they really STARTED KISSING without any "looks like". AND AFTER THAT, I thought sincerely, SOMEONE STILL CLAIMS THEY AREN'T LOVERS? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PPL? ehh it's rather what's wrong with me but ok... more importantly, the one who initiated was Trevor. the view was from his back, so I only could see Michael's face: he wasn't surprised, rather uncertain if he should've done it first. their kiss was long, not really passionate but very affectionate and gentle. like they finally reached their comfort zone and it all worked out the best way possible.

don't recall anything further, guess I just woke up or the dream channel changed to something boring. hmm... probably first.

(just to say, it was long before I learned how to use rockstar editor and started to take these kiss-alike shots, but yeah, I've become obsessed with the idea since that))

next day I tried a cable car with them and detected the bug (or whatever else it is). was playing as Michael and got confused at first, like what do you mean he can't get rid of T now? I suddenly felt trapped. tried a lot of shit to trigger back a normal hangout, with no results. didn't dare to simply abandon Trevor but I knew it can't go on like this. so I just killed Mikey to let him escape lol. such an irony.

so in summary, it's a trap. a gay trap, particularly. maybe you'll find it entertaining ;3

[youmightaswell]

Die!

The Mystery of the Apple Pie Spice

As you know I just hate everything about fall, right down to things that one thinks fall smells like – like apples, cinnamon, pumpkin. Tonight, though, I just made a large cup of decaf coffee and had the impulse to put some apple pie spice in it. I wanted to rub salt (or in this case cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg) into my autumnal wound. But it reminded me of something weird. Probably too weird to try to explain in writing. So when you read things I write you might get the impression that I am really psycho, and maybe internally I am – my internal monologue which I sometimes share with you might seem off-kilter. However, in person, I promise you I come off as being normal, funny, some say attractive…

Anyway, this tiny apple pie spice jar was given to me by a friend a while ago – maybe like three years ago. (Now, typing that also makes me wonder how long dried spices are supposed to last. I probably have some in there for over 10 years. How embarrassing!) My friend was moving from his apartment to a tiny studio and didn’t want to have to pack anything. So he threw out literally everything he owns save for important papers like passports, etc. He gave everything else away. He only re-bought very basic things like a pot, a set of silverware, 7 pairs of socks, underwear, etc. He said it would be cheaper this way than paying for a move and also he wanted to become a minimalist.

When he was moving he had me come over and take anything I wanted. I took all his spices. All were pretty much never opened and brand new and by the brand Penzeys. I love that brand of spice. I had never had apple pie spice which makes sense bc I don’t make pies. But over the years I seem to use it all the time- to add to oatmeal, muffins, chia seed pudding, tea, cider, pancakes… I use it weekly BUT here is the very Twilight Zone thing about it: It never gets any less in the tiny container. I just looked at it when I put it in my coffee and it is still almost full – like maybe 20% used but I have been using it consistently for more than THREE YEARS. I always think about this every time I take it out of the cupboard. At least once or twice a week I think: This has to be a magic spice because it is never going to run out. It’s gotten to the point where I purposely try to use it – and use A LOT of it – to get it to finish just to prove that I am not insane and it is not magic. But lo! Tonight I used it for coffee and it seems like there is EVEN MORE OF IT IN THE CONTAINER. The tiny container is nearly completely full. WTF? Is something supernatural going on here or am I losing my mind? What a great short film this would make. I feel it is something that Miranda July would make – a short film or a vignette in a film about a magic spice jar and a woman who notices it never gets empty.

Jane Campion, an Australian filmmaker did this series of film vignettes that I saw years ago. One was about people remembering the words to songs wrong but then remembering them while they are doing odd things that they thought were depicted in the song. In it a man has always gotten the words of the Monkees song, Daydream Believer wrong. He has always sung it day jean cleaner for some reason, truly believing those were the words. Then one night he is bending over his tub washing his jeans and starts to sing what he believes are the words to Daydream Believer and stops and wonders why anyone would write a song about something as esoteric as washing jeans. And he wonders how the song got so popular.

Peel: An Exercise in Discipline was unveiled in 1982 as Campion was embarking on another short with Gerard Lee and Veronika Jenet called Passionless Moments. The black-and-white short chronicled a series of vignettes in which many people do mundane things throughout the course of the day. Some of these moments include a fat man doing yoga, a boy trying to get some food before a bomb goes off, a woman alone in her room, two neighbors eyeing each other, a man cleaning his jeans in a tub as he sings the Monkees’ Daydream Believer, and other stories.

Passionless Moments’ sense of style came from Campion’s desire to find something engaging in the mundane. She and Lee shot all of the vignettes in the course of a day and created images that were quite compelling. An example of this comes in the first segment where the fat man looks at words while turning doing his yoga. It’s among the many moments in the short that Campion wanted to show that even something mundane can be extraordinary. A series of vignettes make up this wry take on the mundane scenes of everyday life. Campion and Lee imbue the film with radical humor and artfulness. You’ll never hear the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” the same way again.

I guess I like that art can be made about anything – the odder or more mundane the better.

[Related: Penzeys used to be like THE spice. The go-to good brand. And their stuff is still good. I love their paprikas – they have three: California, Smoked and regular. But now in the last year there is a new brand that is getting tons of attn. It’s called Burlap and Barrel. It’s quite expensive. Even more expensive than Penzeys. It’s like $10 for a tiny container. But I am dying to try it. I think you can only buy it online. Someone I watch on YouTube works for them writing their newsletters. She is a food writer and works in test kitchens. The more recently I saw them on Shark Tank. They didn’t get a deal but they are flourishing. It’s the hip spice co.]

[mimiri22-6]

I JUST FOUND OUT BEE AND PUPPYCAT HAD A SECOND SEASON! GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING!

Oh my fucking god holy shit, my guys! This show. This fucking show. Where do I even start! First off

SPOILERS!!!!!!

YOU DO NOT WANT TO WALK INTO THIS SEASON, THIS SHOW, WITH SPOILERS! DO NOT FUCKING LOOK, THIS IS 1000% SPOILER TERRITORY!!!

So I will be taking the extra step of taking my laptop out, and continuing this on there(and after I wake up because it's 4am and I regret absolutely NONE of this whatsoever because, guys, I love this show with everything I have left to my being, I swear, I will die for a third season)

Warning: This is a long one.

OKOKOKOK! I know I know! It’s been uh...A Month since I first posted this! BUT I am Here Now and Ready!!! I am less than 10 seconds into the first episode of season 2 and I am already So Ready to relive this!!(Dream SMP has Nothing on this show, God I Love This Show Far Too Much!!!!!!)

...First ten minutes...I have So Much I want to say...Just-just a lot of love...

okokokokokokokokokok!!!!!! I think I know how I’m going to do this now! One bullet for each episode! Let’s see if I stick with it.

Gentle Touch

In the first episode we already get a big game changer for Bee and her development. Bee becoming more responsible as a favor for Deckard. He asks her to take care of his family while he’s at cooking school and we already see her doing this. Going out to the ocean with Weasley, going out of her comfort zone for people she’s practically family to, which is why we got the beginning flashback, once again going out of her comfort zone to stop Puppycat from punching kittens, And Finally, coming out from her nap cupboard to face Howl and help pay for bills by eating ugly food.

Little Fingers

Ooh, this one has foreshadowing dream sequence. I would say more about it if it had more significance, but it’s really just what happens to Bee in the last ep. This episode brings more of Bee being responsible, trying to take her phone away from Puppycat so he stops making bad purchases. This episode made me realize what Puppycat’s role is this season, the child. Or something among those lines. He’s the same as he was last season, but it seems/is a bit more exaggerated because Bee isn’t doing the same things anymore. She’s started to care about consequences. And speaking about consequences, Toast announces she’s pregnant while confirming that she’s been staying...in Cass’s room(?)...weird, but ok, and by Tim pointing and Merlin’s reaction, it’s Merlin’s...but also everyone else seemed like they thought they were the culprit and I don’t want to think about the implications of that....MOVING ON-OH WAIT, And Cardamon’s mom is spouting magic tears that messes with the plants, so there’s that.

Snow and Violets

I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what to put here and I’m loosing steam. (I’ve been awake since 3 am...) But I think I can put something. The situation with Mr. Cup is the definition of being haunted by your past. The guilt and regret of cheating in the past has made him lose his motivation to give it his all in racing because, what’s the point? Motivation and not caring was his norm, so he just stuck with it. Until Bee, and now he can be a rainbow and sleep with less guilt and regret on his conscience. The thing with the island rapidly changing could be one of three things. Something to do with the ship that  Is the island, a metaphor for change, or something really cool the creators just wanted.

Day off Work

Not Too much to note for this ep overall. Puppycat totally did do the ‘wrecking the house in search for the owner’ thing dogs do. Finally, a dog trait! Every time I see Cardamon now I just get sad cause he’s 7, and should Not be doing landlord stuff. Bee showing worry about how Cardamon’s mom is still asleep and being worried about Cardamon himself, I’m just glad someone’s noticing. I keep forgetting that some people haven’t watched the pilot so they don’t know about Puppycat being a Space Outlaw, so when he found all his stuff under the apartment I was less surprised and more excited. The two last things I want to say is I think it’s interesting/cool/intriguing how the Wizard family just takes every weird thing either in stride, unquestioningly, or ignorance. Just trying to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to deal with it(other than Crispin, but he’s coming up). And the last thing I just want to bring to light is CARDAMON BEING SO CUTE IN THE LAST SCENE! JUST BEING A CHILD! AND LAUGHING WITH HIS DOG! ON A FUNNY CHAIR! I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR AND I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE WITH MY WHOLE BEING!!!

My Favorite

Note, Pretty Patrick is also The Mayor. Alright. It’s definitely been a few months and you can see the relationship between Howl and Bee has gotten better, not that it was too bad to begin with, just a bit less peeved on Howl’s end. The theme of Bee being responsible is brought into play again with the train station scene. Telling Puppycat to not hit and the way Puppycat was acting around Patrick. All little kid stuff. Which also kind of clashes with what I thought was Puppycat being older than Bee by a lot, I’m honestly slowly getting more and more confused exactly how I should perceive Puppycat. THE FIRST REAL LOOK AT THE HAND GUYS! I’m still not sure what their deals are, but they have a corpse on their hands and that is already the biggest red flag. I have a guess as to what/who they are in relation to Puppycat and, by acquaintance, Bee, but I could be wrong, but I also can’t think of any other people they may be. I’ll bring it back up either the next time we see them or at the end.

Did You Remember

Grampa Puppycat cares about his granddaughter a whole lot. Don’t @ me, their dynamic is more confusing than a moving maze...Now this episode, ooh boy, it feels like a lot, but in a minimal way? First off, Cardamon finally breaks down about the stress of being a 7 year old landlord and Bee takes care of him for the day. Big Sis Bee For The Win! DON’T @ ME I MAKE UP MY OWN FAMILY DYNAMICS!!! Kind of continuing from the first sentence, Puppycat and Bee love each other(I Stand By Platonically For Them) so much already, for them it’s been a little over a year considering Puppycat fell into Bee’s life before her last birthday and now they’re celebrating another one. And I must admit, I can not for the life of me figure out wtf the deal is with the tears. They have little shapes of recent events in them and they make plants weird/straight up just make life! Like, What Even Is That?! Also, Cardamon finally gets a good sleep.

Bird Friend

Ok, so we got more ship pieces, a most likely reason as to why Puppycat was Like That in the last few episodes of season 1 and has been goopy every now and again in this season. Apparently eating things he shouldn’t eat make him Extremely off model and goopy. More hands! But not the rest of them this time around. I wonder if Sticky’s hunt for all the birds has any significance other than showing us another piece. Puppycat breaking down and spilling a few secrets after stress eating off the floor and Bee immediately saying no to someone else telling her what’s wrong with Puppycat and letting him come to her first instead of forcing him is always such a good lesson to have. Also, Cass is into weirdly shaped shiny things.

Two Clown Noses

Ah, it’s this one. The one that Really throws a wrench into the Bee/Deckard ship. THEY’RE BOTH SO CUTE! I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! This entire episode is just Crispin and Bee hanging out with the added angst of the beginning ‘story’. This world is full of such amazingly crazy characters and Crispin’s backstory is one of those crazier ones. Bee and him Lived Together and Know Each Other, he knows she’s a robot! My only question is, what happened that they broke up? WAIT- DID THEY EVEN BREAK UP?! It would be weird if they weren’t because they were living together and then they decide to live separate again would make no sense. I think I just jumped to the weirdest conclusion...Anyway! How would Puppycat get sick? I feel like that was just another thing they added to create different dynamics. The beginning birthday thing and the conclusion felt so real even though the cause was something so out there that I feel like only animated shows like this could pass, but also I feel like someone out there has done something similar, so what do I know. Yeah, not much else about this episode, it was mostly just Bee/Crispin stuff and character stuff. Gosh they’re so cute...but so is Bee/Deckard. Being a multishipper is hard...

Funny Lying

RIGHT! THEY’RE CALLED THE WARLOCKS! THAT’S THE TITLE I WAS FORGETTING! Tim knows everyone’s secrets, comes with the perk of having a lot of time and not talking much, you observe everyone else while they think you’re doing something else. I know from experience. Eavesdropping is a specialty of mine. SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE CASS GETS THE MESSAGE DISSING HER FOR FALLING FOR TOAST FROM A COWORKER! I caught those vibes during the first season, but then the first half of this season came along and I was forced to drop those vibes in favor of cannon because TOAST WAS PREGOS WITH ONE OF CASS’S BROTHER’S KIDS! I’m good at catching gay vibes in fictional worlds, but I’m shit in the real world, just like everything else. And the thing is, we don’t get Any kind of explanation/closure for the entire rest of the season! We see Toast totally shocked reaction, probably moments before she was going to sneak attack Cass, but froze upon seeing that text. AND WE GET NOTHING ABOUT THAT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON! Anyway, that was only like 2 minutes into the ep, this is taking forever. We got more Bee being responsible for Cardamon and getting rid of the tears, but the biggest part of this episode is undoubtedly Puppycat’s scenes. We got him sinking to the bottom of the ocean and getting cradled by flowers created by the tears next to the ship. We find out he was bullied and ridiculed in school as a kid and his best friend(idk what else they would be counted as), Violet, convinced him to leave their planet after they accidently summon their ship, leaving Puppycat’s mother behind. seeing how he cried about leaving her she seems to have been a great caretaker and he loved her immensely. We get the scene of Bee’s dad as a baby/Very young child on a mission, giving a presentation, and finding the candy to be a source of energy by cracking it open. Making me think, ‘Is that Bee’s fuel source? If it is, how would not taking full doses for two years effect her?’ because in the first season she splits the candy in half to share with Puppycat and in this season she didn’t eat the candy at all. Makes me even more worried for the future knowing what state she’s in when this season ends. With the last flower fever dream/memory it seems that the princess that he fell in love with was the one to make the final move to turning him into a ‘monster.’ Don’t worry tho, Bee saved him from the bottom of the ocean 

Golden Eyes

(I’m getting more and more tired as this goes one. I started doing this at around 12 this morning and now it’s nearing 6 pm. I’m loosing it!) We got another birthday and it’s Howl’s this time, though it’s not really his episode. The fish are attracted to the wish crystals for some reason and one eats a bit of it to be ‘human’ for a day. I love how the fish hated being a human and Weasley didn’t even notice it was a date. I don’t know if it was or not, but ending on that was funny. We got the return of the major douche from the season 1 finally and a mention of Moully. 

Why Don’t You Help Me?

(I took a break between episodes, aka I went tf to sleep, because I was falling asleep at the table and not really processing everything enough for what I’m trying to do) Ok, so this is a day in the life of Cardamon episode with supposed parelles to the Warlocks. We start with the red one stuck and the others unwilling to help...and then they start drawing Puppycat’s face on the 5th one’s corpse and these guys just do not care that it’s a dead body that they supposedly killed themselves. In short, they have all my fear because they are uncaring about body counts. Cardamon still goes to school on top of being a self proclaimed landlord and gets made fun of for being responsible and tattling at every chance he gets. Something I just noticed too is, at first I just assumed he was finally getting tired after being an adult in a child’s body for who knows how long, but now I’m thinking if he’s supposed to be asleep with Violet, his mom, then the reason for him being so tired is being awake too long. It could most likely be both, too. Just like Cardamon, I have no idea what all the tears mean. In the most recent one was see Moully as the charm in the center. What’s the pattern with these? Again we see Bee being responsible and taking care of Cardamon, making sure he gets home safe, tucking him in, and pulling an all night favor so he can sleep and get to school in the morning. Speaking of that, I can’t say I like Cardamon’s teachers all that much. I could rant about them, but this is already long and they’re not worth it. My only real question is, why the hell are their clothes so ragged and dirty? Do they not know how to bathe? Just, WTF? (either that or they’re Really not trying to hide their *ahem* activities from the kids, which just makes me want to punch sense into them or something)

Now I’m Really Alone

MOULLY!!!! Sorry, I just love him a lot. From what I can put together, he’s some kind of gift giving being. Giving wishes, exchanging good deeds and quick favors for other good deeds and favors. Just being Really nice and wanting to help everyone he comes across. This episode makes me see so much in common between Bee and Moully. They both want to help even when they don’t know how. Making messes and finding ways clean up those messes out of guilt and the feeling of obligation. They both have lost things they need to pick up and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world because they’ve both been alive for so long. It keeps getting hinted, but now kind of confirmed, that the Wizard’s know Bee is Weird because they haven’t seen her age. Hell, seeing how she interacts with Cardamon she could have even baby sat them. So all the Wizard’s know she’s Weird and, supposedly, only Crispin knew she was a robot. That was until Deckard found out in the season 1 finally. Once again bringing up the point of people in the Wizard family finding something out and ignoring it and hiding it. In the season 1 finally, Tim asked Cass if Deckard wasn’t depressed anymore, practically saying that Deckard has some form of depression. Depression being a mental illness that runs in families, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that some other members of the family have similar problems. One of the things I remember depression doing is the person will see a problem and ignore it. Something that many people in this show do with the weirdness around them and the emotional states/situations of the other people in the show. This season is about finally seeing the thing you’ve been ignoring and doing something about it. And that’s what Bee’s been doing this season, taking charge and finally getting her junk out of the ocean and getting REALLY far out of her comfort zone. She HATES water and the ocean, but she’s diving in to take back what’s hers and cleaning up a mess. There’s A Lot to analyze with this episode, the similarities of Moully’s and Bee’s situations and personalities, Puppycat being the responsible one again for the long run of things, the tears and how the wish crystals work, and the state of multiple character’s minds. Ignorance is bliss until it isn’t.

I Won’t Leave You Alone

Ok, SO MANY NOTES! Which makes sense seeing how it’s the last episode. First off, THOSE WARLOCK BASTDARDS VIOLATED MOULLY AND IF THEY WERE REAL I WOULD THROTLE THEM TILL THEIR HEADS POPPED OFF!!! I am a very protective person when it comes to things I care about. And I’m going to say it here and now incase something comes up of it, Cooking Prince gives be Colorful Vibes, if you know what I mean. You don’t follow someone home and bother them when they don’t want to be bothered unless you’re Into into them. That’s all I’m saying and if nothing comes of it, I will drop it. I’m barely hanging onto it to begin with. So, last episode we watched one of three hands punching the other hands to let Moully go, and in this episode it’s confirmed that the day Moully was pulled through the void, the 5th warlock died. My theory with that is, the 5th one was against getting Puppycat in some way and retaliated by fighting them off of Moully and then the others retaliated by killing them in some way. And the tears in this episode didn’t give life to the corpse, but grew new life over top of it, the tears can’t bring the dead back. The ship gets put back together and we see Puppycat being pretty selfish again, bringing the ship online while Bee gets scooped trying to help Moully. He indirectly helped, but only after he got what he wanted. Cooking Prince, an outsider, brings up how everything going on on the island is Weird and Cass celebrates someone acknowledging it. Once again, bringing back the ‘ignorance is bliss until it’s not’ thing going on around here. Cardamon does more childish things this episode, making a wish and crying in his mother’s arms. He got to finally let go of his responsibilities and let it out until he passed out, and now he gets to sleep again. Moully and Bee are out of commission and the Wizard’s+Cooking Prince stay one the island/ship to be with Bee even though they are mostly confused about EVERYTHING going on rn. Bee has multiple Bees now while she’s out, and so, they go looking for Bee’s dad. I have a feeling he has at least some white hairs by now.

I remember watching this season for the first time. I remember I definitely cried at multiple points, but I can’t exactly remember what points now. I didn’t cry this time, I was too busy taking everything in and trying to put what little pieces I could find together. The first season was to get us used to this world and get comfortable for a chill ride, but then it smacks you in the face with something much bigger at the very end. This season was to make you pay more attention and to question your surroundings. It was also about the first steps to taking charge of your life. If Bee didn’t do all the responsible things she did this season, the warlocks would have probably gotten Puppycat while the island went to shambles. Actions have consequences and that’s what this was about. I believe next season is why ‘Lazy in Space’ was the title. The characters are going to be in space, looking for Bee’s dad, and will acknowledge all the weird things going on while developing, excuse the pun, in out of this world ways. 

I can’t wait for season 3.

[steve0discusses]

S4 Ep 39: Pharaoh Can Fly (Selectively)

Guys, they’re back

Best storyboarder is back, and the visual difference between last episode and this episode is like when your art teacher picks up your charcoal and just fixes everything wrong with your gesture drawings. It’s like...I mean look at this:

I just really love and appreciate how illustrative this storyboarder is. And I say just storyboarder because this had about the same budget as the last episode--there wasn’t that much actual animation as per usual. But, all of the scenes were drawn so well, like panels out of a good manga. They just...they always nail it when they’re at the helm and I don’t know why they’re on Yugioh, but bless this storyboarder.

Plot wise, everyone got pulled into the dragon by gooey tentacles that came out of it’s stomach, don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, all of the minibosses could communicate with them and beg for help, yes, even the same miniboss who may have dressed up like Pegasus and catfished Seto Kaiba.

(keep reading under the cut)

The whole process of getting absorbed into the Orichalcos demon was a whole lot of symbolism and it was...kinda gross. Also kinda sketch. Also, for Kaiba it is a neat little nod to S1 when he had a vision that his brother was absorbed into a dragon mass.

I don’t think that the makers of the show remember S1, but either they just really like goopy dragons, or it’s a coincidence or I dunno, on purpose? Probably a coincidence.

And like I made this joke and realized...what if they actually meant to make that parallel though? This is the America crossover season, and they have referenced America’s love of trickster rabbits before with Pegasus but do they know about Br’er rabbit in Japan? Do they know? It’s a pretty Americana Deep-cut, and I have no idea how common this folktale is outside of the states.

I see anime busting out absorbing goopy masses all the time so I’m gonna assume that there might be a Japanese folklore I don’t know about which uses a similar structure (although I’m also assuming it has an extremely different history and association ((which I won’t be going into because I don’t feel like putting a trigger warning on this recap)).)

And looking at Wikipedia, there’s people that think the original reference to moist, absorbing creatures could have even come from as far as India. Which is...fascinating to how it also developed in Africa, and then the Cherokee also made the same story independently and then it fused together here in the States to make it what was eventually made into a Disney movie that will never be released again--this is just a really old ass story, all in all, possibly like over a thousand years old.

And a FASCINATING google deep dive I won’t go into for obvious reasons but knock yourself out.

Also, lets get distracted for a sec and see how well this storyboarder drew a fitted jacket at that angle. Dear Lord, did they get reference for that or did their brain just already know that those folds would be there? You can even tell that Pharaoh has just a little bit of padding at his shoulders. Ugh. Guys this storyboarder is so freakin good at these little fitted jackets.

So, once Yugi and his friends are absorbed into the mass, where they should have died...and maybe some of them did, but I don’t know if I should add that to the Death Count because like...they could have held their breath in the amount of time they were stuck in there...maybe...Anyway, they are saved by being tossed into the figurative briar patch--by the souls all hanging out in the Leviathan’s stomach--which again makes me wonder...did they pull a folklore on us? Again, I have no idea.

Like a lot of the people in this dragon have been thorns in their side this entire season, they’ve all tried to kill them at one point--all the minibosses, Mai, Pegasus--but now they have decided to team up with Pharaoh (along with the rest of the human race) and offer whatever they can to free them from the grip of the gross dragon mass.

And like, the ending of the folk tale is that the thorny ass briar patch is also where the rabbit lives usually. It hurts everyone else, but the rabbit--the rabbit can deal with it. And likewise, Pharaoh is freakin dead. He’s at home here. He’s surrounded by spirit power, his friends and their friendship power, this is like his zone, and now he’s crazy powerful for it and will be for the rest of the episode.

And like Yami is a very trickster God (especially Season Zero Yami) so like...it does make sense that he would mirror a folk tale based on trickster Gods, even if it is by complete accident.

So Pharaoh imagines everyone’s tears as individual drops in a glass or something--it’s not a literal glass or anything--it’s just there because the only thing actually happening on screen was his hand hanging out of this dragon’s weird puss skin.

And he’s now a fully charged Sonic the Hedgehog and no longer needs Kaiba or Joey at all. Just gonna grab his God card demons and take charge of everything else from here on out.

By first exploding his buddies right the hell out of this lizard and across hundreds of feet of open ocean.

Joey decides to remind Kaiba that he lost the Battle City tournament.

Seto’s roast was actually in the show, PS. He is not super excited to be reminded that Yugi owns every card that he spent 2 seasons failing to get.

And then Pharaoh did something really, really...

...just really really wild.

OH OK.

YEAH JUST TAKE OFF.

GO AHEAD THERE’S NO REASON THIS WOULD BOTHER ME.

I mean he IS super powered right now but like...

Like...WTF?

4 SEASONS. 4 SEASONS I thought this guy was glued to Yugi like Peter Pan’s Shadow and apparently--he can bounce.

Can Pharaoh do this every time Yugi asks Tea out on a date and tries to instead make the ghost in his head do all the work now? Can Pharaoh just be like “NOPE” and then phase out of the house, leaving Yugi to actually do the hard stuff?

It really adds a level of complexity to their relationship if Yugi can get a room.

(If not a room for romance, but at the very least a room to poop in.)

OR has he been able to allow Yugi to wicked poop in peace this whole time, but the show just never felt like telling us because they felt like it wasn’t important (although it is crazy important)?

Either way I am just...floored at this character development.

Yami just let Yugi out of his sight for like...I want to say 8 full minutes. Just incredible amount of trust on Yami’s part. Incredible. Knowing Yugi’s track record, he should have died in those 8 minutes but...he was being babysat by both Kaiba and Joey.

So Yami summons the Gods and they shoot lasers--you kinda expect this sort of thing.

And this is...probably...the real reason why Dartz didn’t bother trying to attack Pharaoh 5,000 years ago.

I can still think it’s because of Bakura but like...this is probably the real reason. It felt pretty chump to just shoot a laser at the bastard. Pharaoh just had to be reminded that this is a thing he can just do. If he felt like it.

Which he never feels like doing, because he’s too busy watching Yugi’s every move, and getting distracted by High School shenanigans.

After this happens, the giant snake falls to the ocean, splitting into just sooooooo many ghosts.

Over 7.8 billion ghosts, if we’re to assume that this is most of the population on Earth.

(thinking the weird-o in the hat is probably a Duel Monsters card? The duel monsters were throwing themselves into the Leviathan at one point so this is probably like a dark magician boy or something...I just don’t get very attached to the monster cards so it was like...whatever. The cards die like constantly so who cares?)

It is a pretty set dressing. Like Christmas lights but...dead people.

We also find out that the lost family of our minibosses Alister and Raphael, have indeed spent the last many years inside the Leviathan stomach, which is pretty tragic. We get a bitter sweet conclusion to Alister and Raphael’s story--although it’s not a full on ending for either character. Their life still hella sucks, they are in therapy for basically forever.

Where is Gurimo?

I don’t know what sort of job or life these two are qualified to have now, but youknow...Marik’s boat probably has jobs available.

Hold up. Can we talk about the windows?

I know absolutely none of you care about this, but I do, not to be picky or condescending to an overworked art team, but because I just want to know what they were trying to aim for.

There’s an iron stained glass style windowpane thing going on and that’s what’s really getting me. Like...I know these guys were technologically advanced, but why did you use this WW2 background? What happened to Ancient Greece that you were doing before?

Like doing a super past with future tech is so cool to me--I love that sort of concept art. That’s going into like Black Panther stuff where you’re referencing the earliest stuff in Africa and then blending it with stuff beyond our science. But Atlantis is a real big shrug and a “listen we ran out of time and had to press print,” and it’s such a shame. It feels less cohesive than even when this show does Egypt.

And yo this show and how it draws ancient Egypt--I feel like I’ve already talked about that. I have a feeling I’m going to talk a lot more about it next season. I’ll get to it when we get to it. I’m hoping that they have more time and budget to actually DO Egypt for once. (I say knowing they won’t)

Like it’s one of those things where this isn’t a history show, like at all, and it’s very much a fantasy. I’m not going to be like those sewing people on youtube that get annoyed because their TV show doesn’t have handsewn stitching in their Victorian bodices they rented from the costume department from an LA discount warehouse. Because, yo, it’s TV, and I can stretch my own imagination because it’s acting. (although I confess, I watch every single one of those videos).

But...the potential, y’all...the potential.

Anyway, Dartz isn’t dead. He was just taking his toot sweet time getting down the steps of his Gazebo.

This is where things get very anime. I get this problem a lot with anime, I really do--and maybe it’s just me. But like...sometimes it feels like anime changes the rules during the boss fight.

That happens a lot, right? Where suddenly the final boss reveals something that like...should have been addressed way earlier? And he’s alive but you don’t get why?

Anyway, Pharaoh reacts by getting maybe way too attached to his newfound independence.

Which like...I can understand Tea forgetting that Yugi is one people that is two people all the time, but the writers as well?

And what’s kind of great about this scene is that Dartz does see Yugi as two people here. He doesn’t look at Yugi, he looks at both. When Pharaoh is like “Leave me, Yugi!” Dartz heard all of that.

Just kind of a neat thing that we finally have a dude that can just...see Pharaoh for what he is, but it probably won’t matter because there’s like only one more episode left of this season.

Anyway, Pharaoh and Dartz have a chat about where evil comes from...and like...it’s some Yugioh lore, all right.

So before the show decides to give us the Genesis on Yugioh and reveal where the evil of the Orichalcos comes from, or if all evil was created by Orichalcos itself (which is IMPLYING stuff about Orichalcos) the snake shuts him the hell up.

As it should. Leave that Pandora’s box freakin closed. That’s going into extended universe of Star Wars books territory (RIP.)

As an aside--pretty sure that Yugi is standing outside that tornado. Maybe it was just the editing of the episode but like...

Yo I’m pretty sure Yugi is just standing there. For the first time, it’s not his nuts getting roasted. Wow. Tables have turned so much since he was dead.

Anyway, here’s the link for new people so you can read these in order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

There’s only one left! We can do it! We can finish this season in 2020! And actually get back to recapping Full Metal Alchemist! ~~Woooo~~

Oh man that movie better still be on Netflix or I’ll have to buy it lolol.

[ugh-its-mevie]

ADHD things that i never see people talk about

ADHD is not being able to hear the music you’re listening to because everytime you touch the cord to your headphones or even breathe enough to move it a bit, the rubbing sound completely takes the center of your attention

ADHD is being so in love with the idea of being able to guiltlessly ramble about your favorite famous criminal justice case or the true meaning of your favorite video game that when you realize that someone doesn’t care, you want to cry

ADHD is doing that thing where you think about how well you’re focusing right now so intensely that it distracts you for ten minutes

ADHD is “whatcha lookin at” when you were actually just zoning out, but being so good at coming up with some bullshit answer that you’re not even phased anymore

ADHD is when your brain (for some reason) prioritizes it’s attention towards your senses before anything else, so you won’t be able to do math if you’re wearing strong deodorant or read road signs if the radio is on

ADHD is also the opposite of that, where if you’re somewhere so quiet and absent of visual stimulation that your brain makes up other things to trigger a sensory overload, like the air touching your face making you unable to breathe or the sound of your heartbeat in your ears

ADHD is when everyone calls you an Aries and you don’t know what the fuck that means or if it’s an insult, but you never look it up because your too hyper focused on watching How It's Made, or Backyardigans, or maybe Dirty Jobs (it’s never the same show for more than a week though)

ADHD is people straight up never believing you when you say that learning and actually getting the lessons in school isn’t usually the problem; its remembering what the fuck the teacher said for more than ten minutes (if one more goddamn guidance counselor tells me to use flashcards i’ll go full homicidal) 

ADHD is the literal absence of autonomy, which basically means that your brain NEVER does that thing that everyone else’s does (apparently) where it says “ok now is a responsible time to do a responsible thing”. like wtf that’s a thing?

ADHD is having every day be a repeat of the same format; mindless task, short term hobby that you’ll get way too invested in for about a week, food (?), think about everything i should be doing, do those things with three seconds to spare

lmk if you want more of these, it feels good to know i’m not the only one. 

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 4/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

Summary: Gigi and Crystal discuss things in person. Elites Only also gains a new member.

As soon as Crystal realized what was happening, she exited the Twitter app. The girl she had been talking to for months, the girl she had shared so many things with was Georgina Goode, who happened to be best friends with the girl who hated Crystal for no reason, because of course this would happen to Crystal.  

Crystal’s mind was racing, her brain instantly jumping to the worse case scenarios. Did Gigi know she was talking to Crystal this entire time? Was this entire thing just a ploy orchestrated by Dahlia to get dirt on her? Georgina was not gay, but Gigi was. Did Gigi even like her, or was Crystal just an experiment that no one would ever find out about because it was over the internet? She knew none of these theories made sense, she didn’t think Gigi had any idea who she was until now.

Gigi was freaking out. She had messaged Crystal, attempting to explain herself, but she had gotten no reply. Crystal hadn’t even read them. Panicking, she messaged Jan, hoping she would be online.

gigi: jan oh my fuckigng

jan!: WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YALL GFS??

gigi: …no

jan!: and why is that?

gigi: she literally goes to my school she sent me a selfie and i sent one back without saying that we’re irls and she just said what the fuck and now she wont message me back

gigi: i know u don’t like how rude dahlia is so im sorry i have to mention her but she’s literally the girl dahlia picks on for no reason i didn’t even know her name was crystal

jan!: W H A T 

gigi: what do i do

jan!: girl like i know?? this doesn’t usually happen to people.

jan!: when do you usually see crystal

gigi: i see her in the halls sometimes. she told me before that she stays mostly in the art wing tho

jan!: ok. tomorrow  go to the art wing and find her. talk to her. she’s probably not responding bc im sure it’s not a good feeling to find out the girl she’s been flirting with for months is best friends with the girl bullying her

gigi: god i feel so bad about that. i only stopped it once and i feel so bad

jan!: i love you but you’re a fucking idiot, gigi. you really are. go talk to her tomorrow and do better.

-

The next morning arrived faster than Crystal wanted it to. She was dreading going to school, knowing she couldn’t avoid Gigi forever. Thankfully, they did not have any classes together, but crossing paths was inevitable. The thought of seeing Gigi, even from across a crowded hallway, made her want to sob.

Her stomach started hurting because of her anxiety, but convincing her mother to let her stay home didn’t go over well. Crystal had convinced her mother at first, but as soon as she felt Crystal’s forehead to see if Crystal was running a temperature, which she wasn’t, she had insisted that Crystal stop pretending and get ready for school. She even drove Crystal to school instead of having her walk to make sure Crystal didn’t skip.

Crystal walked straight to the bathroom in the art wing. It was smaller, with only two stalls and the cell service was terrible; but it was vacant for the most part. She often stayed there when she wanted to skip class, and the only person she had ever encountered was Aiden, a shy girl from her art class. If Gigi was looking for her, this bathroom would be the last place she would look.

She had spent the morning sketching and listening to One Direction. She was in the zone, barely noticing when the door opened. Crystal didn’t bother looking up when she felt someone’s presence there, assuming that it was Aiden. “Hey, Aiden.”

“Uh,” Gigi started, “Crystal?”

Crystal’s head shot up, her eyes wide as she looked at a very relieved looking Gigi. “Oh, shit. Hey.” 

Gigi walks over to her, kneeling down to be at the same height as Crystal. “I know you’re probably upset with me, but can we talk? Please? I’ve been looking for you all period.”

Crystal nodded, moving her backpack to make a spot for Gigi to sit down. “Sorry I said what the fuck and dipped, I really didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m going to sound like such a bitch but I didn’t even know your name until last night.” Gigi had never been good with names, only being able to remember her online friends’ names in the beginning because their name was attached to everything they did. Crystal had been known to Gigi as ‘Art Girl’ until last night.

Crystal had to laugh at that. “It’s fine. I don’t think Dahlia knows what my name is either, and I’ve lived in her mind rent free for years!”

“Speaking of her, I’m so sorry I only stopped her once. I didn’t want to get into it but I realize now that ignoring it is just as bad as joining in. Especially seeing the effects it has on you first hand, and now that I know I could’ve helped.”

Last night, Crystal gave Gigi a run down on every single color she had ever dyed her hair, and she had mentioned that she stopped dying her hair once she got into high school because she didn’t want to stick out even more, in fear of getting treated worse. It had made Gigi sad then, and knowing she could’ve changed that made her feel even worse. 

“Yeah, I don’t know how this is going to impact your real life, but no matter what I just hope you will step in next time.” 

Gigi reached over to grab Crystal’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I will never let her hurt you ever again. I care about you so much.”

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“Can I tell you something?” Crystal asked quietly, avoiding Gigi’s glance. 

“Of course. You can tell me anything.”

“I really like you. I know it’s probably weird now, since you’re not out and I’m not positive you feel the same, but I feel like I should tell you.”

Gigi smiled, placing her fingers under Crystal’s chin, lifting them up to make Crystal make eye contact with her. “I’ve been hoping you would say that.”

Crystal blushed at the contact. “Really?”

“Of course! You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met. I would be such a fool not to like you back.”

The bell rang, interrupting their moment. Gigi pulled away, pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket to check the time. “Fuck. I have a test this period.”

“It’s okay. We can talk about this later,” Crystal reassured her, standing up even though she had no intention to go to her next class, “I can send you my address and we could meet after school?”

Gigi nodded, pulling Crystal into a tight hug. “This is the most emotion I’ve ever shown at once. I thought it was going to be scary but I feel so much better. Thank you for talking to me. If I was you I don’t think I would’ve.”

“I could never not talk to you.”

-

Crystal decided she would stay in the bathroom until lunch. It was mostly out of laziness, as her Gigi related anxiety was long gone. Doing academics was the last thing she felt like doing now. 

She had plenty of entertainment, she had missed a lot on Twitter, and had two thousand new messages from the group chat, even though she was gone for less than a day.

crystal: im skipping class what’s up ladies

jan!: hi crystal!!!

jaida: girl where have you been?? my world has been so empty

nicky: wtf jaida stop acting like i don’t exist

crystal: ehh personal things happened so i was ia. i dyed my hair green last night tho!! look!!

jan!: omg you’re so pretty

jaida: HOT HOT HOT

nicky: crystal. marriage now

heidi: omg girl you look so good!! i love your leprosy print shirt

heidi: leprosy

heidi: girl how do you spell lepord

heidi: leopard

heidi: there we go

nicky: you did it!

jaida: so proud of you

She was relieved they didn’t question her further, but she couldn’t help but be curious about what their reactions would be if they knew what was going on. Talking to the girls again made time go by extremely fast, before Crystal knew it the bell rang, declaring it lunch time.

She hadn’t eaten breakfast due to her anxiety from this morning, and just realized how hungry she was. Collecting her stuff, she exited the bathroom and headed down to the cafeteria. 

When she was in line to pay for a slice of pizza and a bag of pretzels, she had caught the attention of Dahlia, who didn’t hesitate to express how she felt about her new hair. 

“Ew, who in their right mind would dye their hair green?” Dahlia loudly asked Gigi, making sure Crystal was in ear shot. 

Before Crystal could defend herself, Gigi spoke up. “Dahlia, can you please shut the fuck up? No one cares what you think about Crystal’s hair, it looks fine. I can hardly tolerate you being rude anymore.”

“Georgina, what the fuck? I’m not rude!” Dahlia whined, making Crystal smile. She had been slightly surprised that it happened so soon, but she was happy Gigi stepped in.

Crystal paid and made sure to wave at the girls on her way out. Gigi waved back, and Dahlia looked the other way, her arms crossed.

-

crystal: it’s not that i didn’t believe you but i’m shocked that actually happened..

gigi: she’s lowkey mad at me but idc

gigi: i believe you owe me ur address? 

crystal: oh that’s right!

gigi: i have cheer after school but i can come over right after

crystal: yay!!! 

The rest of the day was painfully long. Every minute felt like an hour, Crystal was even bored during her art class. She couldn’t wait to go home and talk to Gigi.

She zoned out while she was walking home, wondering what could happen tonight. Crystal would like to think that Gigi was about to kiss her before they got interrupted, or maybe she was going to ask Crystal to be her girlfriend. Anything could happen, and Crystal couldn’t really tell how she felt about it.

When she got home, she tidied up her room. Her bed was unmade, her dirty clothes were on the floor, and a couple dirty cups littered the top of her night stand. It wasn’t too bad, Crystal would usually consider this clean for her, but it made her feel slightly embarrassed now. She had the urge to fix it, even though Gigi probably wouldn’t have cared too much if Crystal left it the way it was.

After her room was clean, she still had some time to spare before Gigi would be on her way. She headed to the group chat, curious to see what chaos they were up to currently. 

nicky: ADD HER

nicky: ADDD HEEERRRRR

jaida: jan please come back i hate it here

crystal: who are we adding?

nicky: JACKIE

jan!: NO WE WILL NOT BE ADDING HER

nicky: why :(

jan!: i can’t trust you guys to not embarrass me in front of her and she is not a stan!!! she will not understand any of you!

jaida: we don’t have to embarrass you, you’ll do it yourself. we can teach jackie stan language, she’s smart and she’ll catch on

nicky: JAIDAHJKFDGLK

crystal: omg add her

jan!: i hate you all so much

nicky: PLS

jan!: fine.

jan! added Jackie

jan!: jackie, these are my friends. don’t believe anything they say about me.

Jackie: Oh, hello everyone!

nicky: YAAAS JACKIE NATION

nicky: c’mon auto caps!

crystal: hi!  

jaida: hi jackie!

heidi: i leave to play animal crossing for 15 minutes and we get a new member… smh

nicky: not just any new member! it’s jackie!!!!

jaida: the way nicky likes jackie more than jan does

heidi: that’s impossible. jan is SUCH a simp for jackie

Jackie: What? 

crystal: OMFG

Jackie: Does that mean she likes me? I’m confused.

nicky: yes!

Jackie: That’s good. I would assume that Jan likes me, especially after what we did in my car earlier.

crystal: holy fucking shit

jan!: OMFGHFJSKDSFHJDFJK UH

jan!: JACKIE SHUT UP!!!!!!

Jackie: Why?

jaida: god i love it here

gigi: janet you better tell me everything later!!!

jan!: GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!!!!

Crystal was so invested in the train wreck going on, only focusing on the messages sent by Jan and Jackie that she didn’t notice Gigi had come online until she got a notification that Gigi sent her a private message. 

gigi: im on ur street :)

Crystal ran to the door, opening it the second she saw Gigi step onto the porch. Gigi jumped, not expecting it. “Someone’s eager to see me, huh?”

Crystal blushed, letting Gigi in. “Shut up.”

Gigi kicked off her shoes and sat her backpack down next to them before letting Crystal lead her to her room. It was colorful, lots of posters and canvases covering the hot pink walls. “This is very you. I like it!”

“Thank you!” Crystal exclaimed, taking a seat on her bed and patting the space next to her. Gigi gladly sat next to her. 

“This is just really weird. 24 hours ago, I didn’t know who you were and now you’re in my bed. It’s kind of overwhelming,” Crystal blurted out, making Gigi frown. “But not in a bad way!” She clarified, “It’s just a lot to process.”

“Oh, yeah. It is a big change. Last night, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend, but that obviously did not happen.” Gigi blushed, grabbing a throw pillow from Crystal’s bed to hide her face in. 

Crystal took the pillow away from her, sitting it next to them, “Do you still want me to be your girlfriend?”

Gigi nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t know if we should become official yet. We know each other so well, but I feel like we need to see if we vibe in person.”

“I don’t think we will have an issue with that, but I agree. Let’s take it slow. But can I try something first?”

Gigi grinned, “Yeah, what?”

“This.” Crystal whispered, leaning forward until her lips pressed against Gigi’s. Gigi kissed her back, wrapping her arms around Crystal’s neck and pulling Crystal even closer.

[ckret2]

I cannot believe I found a person who is a fan of both Godzilla and Hazbin Hotel. And is also a fanfic writer. I've been bouncing around the idea of a crossover fic between those two for quite some time, and there's a lot of fun stuff I can do with it... But something that worries me is the potential power gap between the Titans and overlords. Do you think Godzilla would potentially stand a chance against someone at Alastor's power level?

Ohhhhohoho, do it. Do it.

Also boy I hope you wanted a long reply cuz you got one. Tumblr is in a mood to delete my read mores tonight (I TRIED to put one in!) so apologies for the dash stretcher.

I think that, at this point, we know so little about the Hazbin characters' full power sets that you can say just about anything you want about how they'd fare against each other, and as long as you make up appropriate rules? You're golden.

Do you want Godzilla to be able to curb stomp Alastor? Then say that the reason Alastor is so powerful in hell is because in life he directly caused so many deaths—but then that means that Godzilla, flattener of Tokyo, is automatically a thousand times stronger than Alastor in hell. Or, say that 100% of Alastor's powers are dependent on having access to a specific free AM radio frequency that carries his ~magic~, and say that one of the forms of radiation Godzilla gives off just so happens to match that frequency, completely negating his power.

Or you want Alastor to be able to defeat Godzilla but only with extreme difficulty? Then say Alastor can still use that frequency but only from a safe zone of like 50 miles away, so he can only use less effective long range attacks. Or say that the frequency only happens when Godzilla uses his atomic breath, so usually Alastor can use his magic but every single time Godzilla counterattacks it kills all the magic he's got going and he has to restart it all once the breath is over. Or say that he slowly and difficultly learns to broadcast his magic across another frequency that saps his energy twice as fast but isn't blocked by Godzilla.

Or do you want them on roughly equal footing? Then say that Alastor has all the powers we see in canon—he can teleport, call up specters, giant thorny vines, tentacles pits—BUT say that even though his power is magical, all of the things he summons are non-magical, just normal objects and monsters, and let Godzilla duke it out with shadowy tentacles the same way he'd duke it out with any other kaiju. Then the fight is about which happens first: does Godzilla run out of energy or does Alastor's army run out of monsters to summon? Or maybe Alastor's army is infinite but he's the one at risk of running out of magical energy while Godzilla is looking for him to stomp on. Or maybe the monsters Alastor summons are strong enough kaiju they could take Godzilla down, but Godzilla slips into a portal into their dimension and is trying to survive long enough to destroy whatever magic-radio-tower-or-whatever lets Alastor summon them from there.

Or do you want Alastor to curb stomp Godzilla? Have him summon Cthulhu to break Godzilla's neck with his tentacles and also drive half of hell insane. Or have his magic just go pure off-the-walls overpowered and have him teleport Godzilla's guts to a parallel dimension. Whatever. We don't know that Alastor's powers can do that—but we don't know that they can't, so it's up to you to decide whether you wanna say gut teleportation is possible or impossible or possible-but-only-if-Alastor-does-a-long-draining-ritual-first-and-he-only-has-one-shot-to-get-it-right.

And there are a thousand other factors you can play with to manipulate power levels. Like:

- Is Godzilla in Hazbin's version of hell, and if so does he get new mutations/powers the way the dead humans all do—and do those powers help him? Or are they in the living world, and if so does that increase or decrease Alastor's powers? Do they bounce back and forth between the living and dead worlds? Are they in some third new setting with new rules?

- Does this Godzilla have one of the canon backstories (whether that be old school Gojira '54 backstory or newer monsterverse backstory or something else) or is it a new version of Godzilla made for a Hazbin AU, and if it's a new Godzilla, might he have a new method of creation that impacts his power levels? Did Sir Pentious accidentally make him while experimenting with nuclear weapons near a swamp in hell? Did Sir Pent INTENTIONALLY make him? Is Godzilla a demigod sent from heaven to assist with the latest extermination and therefore imbued with angel-level powers as well as Godzilla's usual skill sets? Can Godzilla only be killed by angel weapons too?

- Do either of them have allies? Does Alastor mind-control Ghidorah and Gigan via radio waves to help him out? Do Mothra's god rays disintegrate sinners just like an angel weapon does, and force Alastor to hide while she's swooping around? Does Vox with his electricity control decide to give Godzilla a power line power boost just to spite Alastor? Are any of Godzilla's mortal victims in hell, and do they jump in the fight—and are they as useless as soldiers in Godzilla movies usually are, or have their experiences and post-mortem mutations given them an advantage? Or does Godzilla command or get commanded by a legion of souls, with some GMK-ish vibes? Do higher-order hellborn demons like Stolas get involved? Or angels? Or Lucifer? On which side?

And all questions of their power levels aside—you can always change the advantage in battle in an instant by having Godzilla trip over a bridge, or by having someone hire I.M.P. to infiltrate Alastor's control room and attempt to shoot him in the head and distract him from running the fight.

The important question isn't "does Godzilla stand a chance against Alastor's power?" It's "how do you want the story to go?" Who do you want to win, and how difficult do you want the win to be? And is there anything specific you want to see happen before that victory? (Do you wanna destroy a city? Do you want people to freak out about Godzilla until Alastor steps up to fight him and then they go "oh the Radio Demon's worse actually" and start rooting for Godzilla? Or vice verse? Do you wanna end it with friendship instead of a one-sided victory? Do you want a specific symbolic/moral message? Do you want a romance subplot?)

First you figure out the basic plot you want. Then you fudge around the sci-fi & fantasy worldbuilding however you need to in order to ensure that their powers and abilities facilitate the kind of story you want to tell. Even staying firmly within the limits of canon, there's always room to make up a "previously undiscovered" detail of biology or rule of magic, or to develop a new headcanon about how their respective abilities and biologies uniquely interact with each other. The power levels of the characters never need to control the plotline—and never should control the plotline, because what's most important is telling an interesting story. Everything else is subservient to that. Tweak how their abilities work until they serve that interesting story.

Once you know how you need the story to go and how you're going to manipulate their powers to make that happen, you've just got to introduce that early on and stay consistent. The earlier you present it in the story, the more it looks like a part of the plot rather than a detail you made up specifically to make the plot go the way you want it to. If you want Godzilla to negate Alastor's powers via radio frequency, then have Alastor start hearing white noise and getting a migraine and losing control of his powers and wondering wtf is happening while Godzilla is still out at sea slowly swimming toward land. If you want Alastor to slaughter Godzilla with some eldritch Lovecraftian monstrosity, then have him say as soon as they hear about Godzilla approaching "well, I've got a friend who could kill him in a second!!" and have every single person in hell from Moxxie all the way up to Lucifer go "DO NOT DO THAT" and have the plot be them trying to beat Godzilla and trying to persuade Alastor NOT to unleash Cthulhu while he rolls his eyes and slowly loses patience.

Foreshadow early—make sure readers have a rough estimate early of what factors are going to affect the characters' odds against each other in battle before the battle even begins. The exception, of course, are any plot elements you want to be a surprise, but you at least have to have them make sense with canon and with the worldbuilding you've already done in the fic.

[leggomylino]

light switch | yandere!seungmin

Genre: yandere, romance/fluff, thriller, a little angst, some comedy (mainly in the first half) Pairing: yandere!Seungmin x reader Word count: ~11k (and this is only the first half…) Warnings: Author rambling, run-on sentences, mild language (censored), a few memes, moments of high tension and possible anxiety, ooc, and mild abuse/violence A/N: Requests are open~ | Masterlist in bio! | rip this turned out WAYYY longer than I meant it to and it’s my first time writing this format (and yandere for that matter) but, I hope y’all enjoy :’)) Thanks for reading!! <3

Okay so

You and Seungmin had been friends for a while

Y’all met in junior high and immediately hit it off

Here’s what happened fam

It was your turn to stay after class and clean up

The other kids who had been assigned to help you had already done their jobs and left

You let them off easy because it was raining and you didn’t want anyone to miss the bus

You always walked home since you lived in the neighborhood and you liked the rain so it was no big deal to you

*cringey middle schooler voice* “Hey is it okay if we head out? Are you okay by yourself?”

“Oh yeah sure go ahead! Have a great day!”

“Thanks! See you later (y/n)!”

Yeah a n y w a y 

So it’s raining out and it’s just you in the classroom after school, cleaning the whiteboard and sorta zoning out

The cloudy weather and sound of steady rainfall on the asphalt outside isn’t helping

But luckily you’re almost done, just gotta get a chair to reach the top of the board and--

Chunk!

What the

Um

Hello?

What was that sis

You look over your shoulder mid-swiping to see the silhouette of a person climbing in through the window

But you can’t see who it is at first cause right at that moment there’s a flash of lightning that lights up the whole room and casts everything in a veil of black and the hollow roar of thunder (just like in all the cliche horror movies), and a scream gets caught in your throat (like half of the cliche horror movies)

It successfully freaks you out a bit but

Once you’re able to see clearly again you realize it’s a boy

A boy you recognize

Barely tho

Like hardly

Because he’s honestly never around

Always skipping class

Typical delinquent kid

His name, you scarcely recall, is Kim Seungmin

He probably thinks he’s some sort of billy-badass or smth, you dunno

Well he’s just frozen like you are, halfway inside with his legs straddling the windowsill, soaking wet, just staring at you

Staring

Staring

Still staring...

You furrow your brow at him, slowly getting back into the groove of getting your business done and hightailing it outta there. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

He smirks and leans forward, resting his hand on his chin, just watching you while half of him is still getting soaked by rain; he looks like the freakin’ Cheshire Cat. “The same could be said about you.”

You’re about to ask him what kind of a comeback that is when it dawns on you that you’re still staring as well, and you visibly shun yourself and whirl away to face the board again. He chuckles and you hear him toss his incredibly late ass all the way inside, closing the window and leaving a trail of rainwater and mud and dead leaves and outside nastiness on the floor that you just finished sweeping and cleaning uGH WTF BILLY-LATEASS WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT

Great now you’re gonna miss the newest episode of Totally Spies and that rerun of Sailor Moon you were really looking forward to...all because this punk had to show up half past four.

He lifts one of the chairs off the desk and takes a seat, and when you curiously peek over your shoulder to see wtfudge he’s doing, he’s watching you. Again. Just sitting at what would be his usual seat in the middle of the room if he were ever in class on time at all. You roll over the teacher’s desk chair to finish cleaning the board and have just decided to leave the trail of dirt and wet grass for him to clean up

But uh

Unfortunately you have a brain made of spaghetti like the author

And well

You somehow managed to forget for a second that the chair has wheels, and the floors are still a little slick

So the moment you clamber your (enter height here) ass up on that chair guess what happens?

Just guess

Yeah you guessed it

London bridge comes falling down

Well in this case (y/n) bridge

It all happened so fast

And yet

You never touch the ground

No you didn’t spontaneously gain superpowers like in a Marvel or DC comic

This isn’t My Hero Academia either, you’re definitely quirkless

It’s this guy

He actually managed to throw himself over the desk and slide over just in time to save you

Wow maybe this is a bit of a superhero movie

Go Spiderminnie B))

Batminnie?

...Okay lame names and rambling aside, he saved you

You stare at him with a shocked look on your face, a bit winded from the experience

But also at the way he’s staring at you

It’s kinda sus sis

He’s looking at you like...almost like he’s seeing right through you

Into your soul

You know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul?

Well this bish is sunlight and he’s cutting right through...effortlessly

Gracefully radiating a strange unnatural light you aren’t really sure how to define

It’s weird, and foreign, and a bit uncomfortable

But a part of you kinda likes it

Which bothers you because sure this guy did just save you from getting a concussion and possibly breaking your neck but still

“Uh...thank you…” you mutter, not sure what else to say. It’s a miracle your spaghetti brain even managed to remember to say “thank you” at all smh

He’s smiling down at you kindly (even tho it’s a bit creepy, surely he means well) and uh

Does he plan on letting go of you anytime soon?

I mean 

He’s still wet and you like the rain and all but

Okay there we go he’s setting you down now

Phew see he’s not a weirdo or anything, it’s all good

“That was a smart move you just pulled. I’m guessing you aren’t very fluent in the common sense department.”

Uh eXCUSE ME?!

Okay wow rude much

Who says something like that after saving someone?

Who says something like that to anyone they barely know ever?

Way to ruin the moment … wait what moment

There wasn’t a moment

That wasn’t a moment that was just uh...he was just…

:)))) moving on

You squint at him and scramble up to your feet to get away from this rude boy who you’re just starting to notice is kinda cute even if the way he looks at you is a little creepy and his attitude needs work, dusting yourself off and inwardly cringing at the chill snaking up your side. That’s just from the rainwater, right...? “Like you’re one to talk.”

He laughs at that...his laugh sounds like a bell. A bit obnoxious, but it’s still pleasing to you. And that makes you pretty angry.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“Stop laughing at me!”

“Huh?!”

“Huh?!”

“I mean it! Cut it out!”

“I mean it! Cut it out!”

He’s mimicking everything you say in a horribly applicated high-pitched voice, which only fuels your anger and frustration. Not to mention your embarrassment.

You’re embarrassed, right? That’s why your face feels so hot right now? Or you’re running a fever. Maybe you caught the bug that’s going around. People catch colds all the time during a rain shower, it’s only in every cliche romance anime ever.

Wait a sec…

Romance anime?!

Uh hahaha no no sis that’s not what this was

Not in the slightest

But I mean

It’s all set up like one

The rain

After school atmosphere

Cute delinquent guy with a bad attitude rescuing and teasing airheaded good student

Crap crap crap

Abort mission abort abort

You gotta scram baby

So that’s just what you do

...Well you try to anyway

But next thing you know he’s lifting you up in his arms and like

Dude

Have you not heard about personal space before?!

You turn your heated face down to him and he’s smiling up at you, so sweetly, so purely, all rainbows and sunshine

“Sorry, I was just teasing you. I thought maybe you could use a lift?” ❀

Well crap

He wasn’t wrong tho

Hnnnnn you can feel your face heating up again; er, even more

HNNNNN THIS REALLY IS AN ANIME ROMANCE ASDFGHJKL;

Okay okay calm down (y/n)

Just go with the flow

No use fighting it

Nothing good ever comes of fighting it

So you smile and mumble your thanks and let it happen

And guess what?

You two end up becoming the best of friends \^-^/

It’s quite cute actually

And it happens very naturally too

A nice slow burn transition into acquaintances, then friends, then good friends, and finally by the time you reach high school, y’all are besties

He’s always there for you when you need him

...

Like, always

It’s kinda strange actually...

He always knows right where to find you and texts you the moment you unlock your phone to text him

You: 𝖶𝗈𝗐, 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎! 𝗈𝖠𝗈

Him: 𝖮𝗁 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒? 𝖧𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗁 / 𝖶𝗈𝗐, 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝖽𝖽𝗌? / 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎!! :) / 𝖦𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝖨'𝗆 𝗉𝗌𝗒𝖼𝗁𝗂𝖼 :𝗉

But more recently, it’d gone a little something more like:

“𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁, 𝖨 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 <𝟥”

… *shrugs* 

Guess he’s got some kind of a sixth sense or something

He just knows you so well

But you don’t think much of it because the two of you do spend an awful lot of time together

As in you’re practically joined at the hip when you’re not separated by classes or your mom calling you home for dinner if you happen to go out on the town somewhere

Usually it’s the ice cream parlor or the mall

His buddies Felix and Changbin work at one of the shops there so you like to stop by and say hi to them

But you don’t stay too long because Seungmin really values your alone time

Just the two of you strolling side by side, sometimes hand in hand, while he listens to you ramble on about your day and get excited over cute things in the storefront windows and grumble about being hungry every time you pass the food court

You always tug him in front of one of the stands with the full intent of buying, yet he always ends up paying; he simply insists on it

Because he loves it

Your whining 

Your excitement

The way you ramble over the speed limit and express your passion so effortlessly

It’s real to him

Attractive

Inspiring

Photogenic 

He’d bottle each memory up and relive them over and over again if he could

Of course they’ll always be in the picturebook of his heart, but that’s a little cringe

He doesn’t care though cause it’s true

Watching you twitch your nose and turn your head like a muskrat as the scent of fresh cinnabuns wafts through the air 

It makes him smile and beam with delight and the whole atmosphere becomes warm and inviting

Of course, you don’t know that

Because Kim Seungmin isn’t an open book

More like a locked diary (with chains all wrapped around it like something out of a medieval fairy tale)

Some people have questioned why the two of you aren’t dating yet

But Seungmin’s too shy to say anything; the very notion makes him feel faint and his heart race; and you always dodge the question or tell people you’re simply “just friends”

Because to be honest, any feelings you thought you had for him have sorta cooled down into a comfortable friendship 

And while you may have thought about the two of you being an item before

You’re not sure how he feels 

Before you rant at the author whAt do YoU mEAN hAve yOU nOt beEn pAYInG aTTENtiOn to WhaT’S gOinG On?! 

LET ME (well you) EXPLAIN

While the two of you HAVE been rather inseparable over time since that fateful encounter in junior high

Seungmin is still a bit of an odd duck

Ya know him

But sometimes it feels like you don’t

Lately he’s been getting harder and harder to read

At least when it comes to the feelings department

Aka pathos

You know he certainly cares for you, a lot

And you care for him...a lot

But surely it doesn’t mean anything...more

He’s like the brother you never had

Just looking out for you, wanting the best for you, like family

It’s not anything romantic~ or lustful~ or anything like that …

Is it?

I mean uh

So what if you cuddled while watching movies together, and when you started to drift off against his chest you distinctly felt him place a soft kiss atop your head? So what if you shared milkshakes and ice cream sundaes at the parlor while holding hands beneath the table and speaking of hands you both blushed and giggled cutely when they touched while reaching for the popcorn at the same time? So what if he made you flower crowns and took pictures of you looking like a beautiful mess down by the river, or at the beach, or in the garden behind his house? So what if he occasionally showered you with gifts and bought you food and always left you the biggest mess of flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s day and worked himself tirelessly trying to teach you material you didn’t understand, and was the first one calling to see how you were doing when you got sick, even going so far as to skip class to bring you soup and tease that “you probably caught that dummy virus you had the day we met” and stayed sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor while you laughed stuffily at Tuxedo Mask calling Usagi/Sabrina a Meatball Head and he smiled at your congested laughter while mimicking you in a memey fashion (to which you respond by throwing used tissues at him that never get very far), copying all of the days notes you missed into your journal with that surprisingly pretty cursive handwriting of his...and leaving cute little love poetry off to the side for you to find later...so what if...something is starting to click inside your head...it doesn’t mean anything. None of it does. None of that meant anything!! \(>-<)/ …

……

……...right?

You scream internally into the void

For you do not know 

(╥﹏╥)

One day after school of your senior year you’re doing rounds like you normally do

And you whine like you usually do

And he snickers like he regularly does

And y’all wander over to the food court like two happy little love birds (to him) and a couple of friends in a we-aren’t-dating-we’re-just-great-buds-it’s-complicated relationship (to you)

And that’s when you see him

Wow

I mean WOW

This new guy behind the counter

You recognize him from school

He just transferred to your school from out of town

His name is

Uh...

Shoot what’s his name? (._.”) ??

It’s almost your turn in line

Guess you’re about to find out ♥

Gosh he’s gorgeous wowowow

He’s looking more attractive the closer you get, and you’ve only seen him from a distance at school and he was ALREADY the bees knees then

You take a step forward up to the counter…

That is until Seungmin stops you

This bish just completely cut you off 

His tall 5’9 ass is completely blocking your view of Hunkilicious >:((

Your peeking around him as best you can, but it’s hard when he’s constantly shifting his weight in time with you; you still manage to get a glimpse though, and wowza he’s fine (♥‿♥)

That sandy blonde hair

Those gorgeous bright eyes

A whole snacc sis

You smile at him while Minnie’s placing your order, and he catches your shy little wave, sending a flawless wink back at ya

 (/❛o❛)/❤,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~ o(~_^)o

OOF

MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

HE GOT YOU

ONE HIT KO

AHHHHHH <3

If love at first sight is a thing

This may very well be it

He’s. So. Cute~ 乂❤‿❤乂

At least you think so

Seungmin, on the other hand…

…

Not so much :))

In fact

The way he’s looking at this guy

You may not know what he’s thinking

But you can tell

He’s trying really hard to put up a normal/average front

His aura is…

Well

It’s not pleasant that’s for sure

When you two stand off to the side, waiting for your order

You tug at his sleeve and ask him if he’s alright

“Hm?” He snaps out of glaring daggers to peer down at you, smiling softly. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

You highly doubt that, but you aren’t about to open any doors that should remain locked

“Okay…”

Just then your order is being called, by the cute blonde by that recently stole your heart

You instantly light up like a Christmas tree, and before Seungmin can make a move you dash over to the counter to pick it up

Leaving Minnie in your dust

“……”

He doesn’t say a word

Meanwhile, back at the food stand, you’re taking the bag of goods from…

You’re squinting at his nametag…

Only to notice he isn’t wearing one. Now you feel kind of dumb.

“It’s Jaemin,” he laughs, dropping some extra napkins in the bag. But also…

Why is winking at you like that?

“Maybe I’ll be hearing from you sometime?”

What…

You look down into the bag

Sure enough, there’s a phone number scribbled out in pen over the top napkin

...Wow. He’s not even trying to be sneaky about it. He’s letting you know what’s up.

But doesn’t he think that…?

You look at him earnestly. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but um…”

His eyes grow soft, and looks disappointed all of a sudden. But he seems to be taking whatever he thinks is going on respectfully. “Oh, so you are in a relationship. I’m sorry, I thought that-- well, Jeno told me you two weren’t anything serious, so I thought that--”

“Jeno?” You look over his shoulder, and sure enough there’s Jeno, school jock, meeting your stare and giving you a quick “what up” nod before he hustles back to work

Jaemin sighs, making himself look busy by swiping down the counter. “Sorry, again. That was really rude of me, you can just ignore--”

“No!” you cut in.

He’s looking back up at you, a bit surprised, and you clear your throat. “I mean uh...he’s right. Jeno’s right. I’m not...seeing anyone right now. I mean, I’m not in a relationship or...anything like that. Seungmin and I are just really good friends. He’s like a brother, almost.”

Jaemin’s surprise quickly spreads into a smile that travels from ear to ear, and chuckles mostly to himself, giving himself a nod as well. “Okay. Sounds great. Maybe I really will be hearing from you then.”

Hnnnnn your insides are turning to goo, and you nod a little too ecstatically, having to contain the excited squeal threatening to erupt from the butterflies in your stomach as you hurry back over to Seungmin’s side

He’s right where you left him, and he looks…

He looks like a kicked puppy

There’s no way he could have heard what just happened

But you knew he saw the whole thing

...That didn’t matter though, right?

Cause it’s not like you guys are dating

He doesn’t even like you like that

Just friends

Just friends, (y/n)

So it’s fine

You don’t even care if he sees the phone number napkin

Which he’s looking at right now; actually glaring intensely would be a better word

And now he’s

Oh

He’s reaching inside the bag

He’s taking it out

He’s glaring at it

He’s debating something

He doesn’t look very happy

Brave (Y/n) tries to reach for the phone number

Her attack missed

Minnie’s power level is too strong

It’s over 9,000

Now he’s walking away and…

You gulp as he waits to get Jaemin’s attention

exchanging some words with him

Oh dear stars

What are they saying?

What’s going on?

You’re not sure why, but your legs won’t move

There’s some kind of...barrier...there’s this aura emitting off of Seungmin. It’s the same as earlier when he first caught you smiling at Jaemin. 

But now it’s stronger, more powerful. Clearly you aren’t the only one who feels it either, because the customers and employees around him are taking a few steps back and sending curious glances as well...when he comes back, he’s empty handed. And he looks…

Calmly pleased with himself. “Sorry about that, (y/n). He won’t be bothering you anymore.”

You frown. “He wasn’t bothering me, Minnie. In fact--”

You don’t get to finish that thought, because he’s ushering you off like a shepherd herding a lost sheep away from a pack of wolves...

Except you’re starting to suspect that he may be a wolf in sheep’s...well, shepherd's clothing

You sit down to eat, and it’s like nothing happened. Minus the twitch in his face every time you so much as look toward the Cinnabon shop.

~~~

The next day you’re sitting in your chosen science course, Environmental Systems. It was either that or Quantum Physics...and let’s face it, you hate math, so ES won ten to none

You’re sitting at your lab table totally zoning out...you can’t stop thinking about Minnie’s behavior the other day. What the heck had gotten into him? Why was he acting so strangely? So rudely?

He’d gotten better after he started hanging out with you. He’d stop skipping classes, started taking his classwork seriously

It turns out Minnie is actually really smart; like, really smart. His IQ has gotta be in the 150 range. It was just a matter of applying himself and actually giving a hoot; and for some reason, he’d listen to you. Most of the time, anyway.

 So you’re sitting there all slumped over in your stool, elbows on the table with your head propped up in both hands. Your eyes are locked in an internal battle with the clock on the far wall; each second that ticks by is a second lost, a second wasted, a second longer that you STILL can’t figure out what’s wrong with--

...Say, why is this bothering you so much anyway?

You two ain’t dating

You’re just friends

But you still care about him and are worried for him...as a close friend, right? That’s normal, isn’t it? You’re like a fretting sister worried about her brother’s strange behavior

Yeah yeah that’s all it is

Also what was up with that aura coming off of him?

You’re pretty sure even the Fire Nation would have turned and run with their tails between their legs

Wonder what it was he said to Jaemin…

...Aw man

Jaemin

So much for that romance waiting to be written (“=3=)

You feel a hand on your shoulder

“Ahh!” 

You whirl around to see Seu--

…

Lucas?

He gives you a tender smile, slinging his backpack to the floor beside the table. “Hey. You okay?”

“Oh…” You sigh, shaking your head to clear it. “Yeah. Yeah I’m...fine.” ...Not fine, but it’s okay.

New character introduction! → This is your lab partner, Lucas. He’s sat beside you all year, but you normally don’t speak much beyond idle chitchat and classwork. 

But today is different

Because today is the day he’s finally getting up the courage to…

...No, not confess his undying love for you. He just wants to talk more. He’s seen you around with Seungmin a lot; in fact the two of them share a class together, and let’s just say you’re not the only one who’s noticed some odd behavior. Lucas is a caring guy, and he’s worried about you… He thinks you’re a good person. And to him, good people are precious treasures that must be protected!! (/oAo)/

He takes a seat in his stool beside you, the one next to the window, and looks at you with concern in his eyes. “So, listen...I know we don’t talk a lot, but…is it okay if I ask you something?”

“? Sure, go ahead.”

“You and Kim...what’s your relationship like?”

You frown. “We don’t have a relationship. I mean, I’m not romantically involved with him...we met in middle school. We’ve been friends ever since.”

“...Are you sure about that?”

...what?

“What do you mean?”

“Well...not to sound out of line or anything, but I’m a bit surprised...well, I have a hard time believing...erm, seeing a person like you hanging out with a person like him. And it’s not just me, either. Anyone who knows either of you feels the same way.”

(• ε •) ? Why tho

You’re looking to him for the answer, but he doesn’t give you one. Instead he’s changing the subject.

“...Not to be nosy, but Jaemin told me what happened the other day. Uh…” He rubs the back of his neck, glaring down at the table. “He wanted me to apologize to you again, in his place. But you really should have told him if you were--”

“I’m not in a relationship with him!”

You’d slammed your hands on the table, jumping out of your seat. The rest of your classmates all silence their chatter or last minute scribbling of unfinished homework assignments, staring at the far left corner of the room where your table is.

Oops

You uh

You hadn’t meant to do that

Muttering an apology you sink back down into your seat, head bowed to allow your hair to hide your face like a curtain. Showtime’s over, folks. No encores, please.

Lucas hesitates, but after a moment he places a hand against your back. Something wet rolls down your cheeks...sheesh, when did you become such a crybaby? Are you seriously crying about this right now? But why…?

 You hear him swallow, and next thing you know he’s asking you for your side of the story, and you tell him everything. About Seungmin flipping like a light switch. About his scary aura you’d never noticed before. That you had no idea he was gonna react like that.

“I see…” Lucas is quiet for a moment. Then he holds out his hand to you. “Give me your phone for a sec.”

??? Okay…

You give him your phone, and he smiles a bit at the phone charms of things you stan clinking together as it’s being passed over to him. He grabs your wrist for a second (lightly) to unlock it, making you chuckle, then he’s opening the contacts app. He slides it back over not but a few moments later with the friendliest smile he’s ever given you; a smile letting you know that everything’s going to be alright.

“Text me anytime. I gave you Jaemin’s number as well. You should call him. I know he seems kind of like...a womanizer, but he’s really not. That’s just a dumb rumor going around from the popular crowd ‘cause he turned one of the cheerleaders down. He’s really a nice guy, and he talks about you a lot.”

……

QAQ <3

LUCAS I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW

OmgoshomgoshomgOSH \(^.^)/ 

GO LUCAS YEEHAW

You do hug him at least

You can’t help yourself

You feel like a weight has been lifted

Like you can breathe a little easier

Lucas just laughs half awkwardly, half genuine, and pats your back before the teacher walks in and makes a comment about PDA, and you both roll your eyes and take your seats

You spend the whole class chatting and catching up like two good friends that hadn’t seen each other in a long time, really hitting it off even though you’ve been lab partners the whole semester 

Your teacher doesn’t mind as long as you get your work done; today is a relaxed, catch up on late assignments kind of day

You’re so engrossed in a debate about which flavor of ice cream is superior that you scarcely hear the bell ring; you notice it but it leaves your mind after five seconds because this hoe over here is trying to convince you that vanilla is better than chocolate

CHOCOLATE IS SUPERIOR OKAY?!? (Author Note: if you feel otherwise, just pretend the roles are switched✌️)

 You’re going into heavy detail about how your flavor is just melts-in-your-mouth kind of good, being a river of pure joy when you notice Lucas staring towards the door with a troubled look on his face...is he trying to tell you he needs to go?

Probably. Well shoot, is it pretty rude to keep someone from getting where they need to go…

You’re about to apologize and turn to get your things and uh

Seungmin is there

At the door

Just watching you two

He’s wearing the same resting b*tch face he wore during the Jaemin fiasco

Uh-oh.

He doesn’t approach you like you fear he will, though. He simply waits patiently, one eye on you, the other on Lucas.

The moment you get your things together you bow your head to Lucas, being overly respectful in a state of minor panic before scurrying for the door. Seungmin flips his attitude again to be all smiles and sunshine, taking your hand a bit too forcefully and sending a look over his shoulder before hauling you off. 

“What was that all about?”

He may be smiling, but his tone is the complete opposite, making you frown

He’s not gonna freak out again like yesterday, is he??

Uh uh uh

Wait you don’t have anything to hide

You have the right to have friends

You know what

YOU KNOW WHAT

You’re about to tell this guy

This whole thing is dumb, you’re probably making it out to be way worse than it actually is

It’s surely nothing

Guys are just weird and testy

...But when you open your mouth to let him know how you feel

Aka the truth

Nothing comes out

Not a dang thing

You close your mouth; open, close, open

N o t h i n g

Then something finally does come:

“Lucas is my lab partner. We were just talking about--”

He cuts you off, squeezing your hand a little tighter. Ow. “No, not that. I meant before class.”

Be--

Before class?!

“I saw you handing your phone to him. What happened?”

Uh

Sis what

He saw that? He was there?!

WHERE?!?

He always walks you to and from class, but you were sure you saw him leave after he dropped you off! He...He had to be hiding somewhere…

Normally you’d think it was a bit cute because “oh he’s just a helicopter brother” or laugh ‘cause he’d be trying to pull a prank on you but

Given what happened yesterday

It freaks you out.

He’s squeezing your hand tighter. It’s really starting to hurt.

“Um...it was nothing! It was part of a warmup assignment!”

“Warm-up assignment?”

“Yeah! We were comparing the current temperatures around the world, and his phone wasn’t working, so I let him borrow mine!”

The lie comes tumbling out of your mouth like a rolling stone

You can’t very well give him the truth

Not if he can’t handle the truth

Plus you need time to sort out what’s really going on with him

But does he buy it?

Well let’s see

He stops and looks you in the eyes

His gaze is cutting through you again

Just like it did when you met him some four or five years ago

It’s more than a little unsettling, but you refuse to crack

Please buy it please but it please buy it…

He sighs and studies you, more gently this time, before pressing his lips together and giving a few small nods. “Okay. I guess that’s okay.”

He uh

He what now?

He guesses that’s okay…?

……

“...Listen, Seungmin. I think we need to talk later.”

“I do too. I have something for you.”

He um

He has something...for you?

Another present?

“What is it?”

His grin is almost too excited. Yet it also seems so pure and innocent. His eyes are smoldering… At least that’s how your brain interprets it, but surely he’s just trying to scare you as is his hobby 24/7. “But you’ll have to wait ‘til tomorrow to open it.”

~~~

Tomorrow comes sooner than you know it

It’s Valentine’s Day

Flowers and chocolate and greeting cards are all over the place

Ribbons and lace and delicious cakes

Hey that kinda rhymed B)) You’re the new Shakespeare

Okay anyway

You’re at your locker; for once Seungmin isn’t around between periods, he’s being held up with a board meeting

Oh yeah, that’s right...forgot to mention, he’s on the Student Council

Told you he was smart tho

But that also made him a lot more...worrisome, given his recent outburst and weird personality flips

The Student Council had a lot of influence at your school

They practically ran the whole circus here

For example, you knew it wasn’t a coincidence that you no longer shared Statistics class with Jeno, Jaemin’s buddy.

… sigh

This whole thing was just one giant me--

UM

What is all this?? (o.o)

You open your locker, right

And well

There’s a huge mess of roses

And chocolates

And greeting cards

And ribbons and lace and delicious cakes; word 😎

You have to grab a few bouquets and boxes before they spill all over the floor

How is it that...since when did you have so many admirers?

No offense to you or anything

You were a very nice girl

Cute, smart, sophisticated, good sense of humor

But you were also rather quiet and shy

Mostly because Seungmin took up all your free time

He kept it that way

Once you survive shoving everything back into the locker in a way that won’t result in them burying you alive, you open one of the greeting cards while a janitor and a few students give you looks at the mess of petals all over the floor

(𝑌/𝑛),  𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝐷𝑎𝑦! (\(^-^)/) 𝑊𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝘩𝑢𝑔? 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑦 𝑣𝑖𝑟𝑢𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 ;𝑃 -- 𝑆𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑚𝑖𝑛

You open another:

𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑉𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒, 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑'𝑠 𝑒𝑦𝑒 𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤

??? Okay then…

You’re noticing that all the cards and boxes are labeled “Seungmin” or “Minnie” or “you know who” as you’re shuffling through the garden that has become of your locker

You find the tulips near the back next to some daffodils and classic red roses, having to use half your strength just to wrestle them out

Oi vey

You peer inside from “a bird’s eye view”

…

But you don’t see anything

Wait a second yes you do

There’s something dark and boxy buried inside the bouquet

You dig inside...fish it out

It’s a lovely black box, long and rectangular, with a beautifully elegant ice-blue ribbon tied around it

Wow this thing looks pretty pricey...how much did he spend on you exactly?

Seungmin had always been a little extra when it came to you but this year was overkill big time

There’s a note sticking to the back of the box; it says: 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑒

Wow he may as well just attached all the notes he gave you into a novel

But okay you read it

You like reading anyway

𝑂𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑐𝘩𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑝.𝑠. - 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑠 <𝟥

...Huh??

You examine the flowers before you…

Your eyes instantly land on the one in the center, which looks slightly different from the others

Because it’s fake...

~~~

Minnie helps you carry your things home after school. He handles your bags and chocolates and most of the flowers, but he insists that you carry the tulips

Why not roses? →  Tulips were your favorite flower

But even if they hadn’t been, he’d bought you one of every kind of flower on the freaking planet anyway, as well as every good chocolate combination in existence

He’d even gotten you that cute plushie you’d been eyeing in the window of a toy shop in the mall

“Did you like everything?”

“Yeah...it’s great. You didn’t have to, though.”

His face gets a little...resting b*tch again. “Nonsense. I wanted to. You deserve it.”

M’kay…

“...Thanks, Minnie.”

“I mean it. You deserve this and more.”

“No, no. This is plenty. Wayyy more than enough.”

You laugh at first, but the moment you notice Seungmin’s not laughing, you stop.

There’s an uncomfortable silence in the air for the rest of the walk, that is until you reach your house.

“Listen, (y/n)--”

“Welp thanks for everything today!!”

You rush inside, dumping the load in your arms by the front door. When you run back outside to get the rest of what Seungmin is carrying, he tries speaking to you again.

“(Y/n)--”

“Geez it’s awfully cold out! Winter sure is a bummer huh? But I do love curling up inside and um...oh wow I’ve got a lot of homework to do--”

“(Y/n)!!”

You wince at the harsh tone in his voice; if you were an animal you’d have your ears flat against your head right now. “...Y-Yeah?”

Something...uh...uh-oh

His cheeks are turning the color of the roses in his arms.

This can’t be good

But when his lips part to say what he needs to say, nothing comes out

Cause here comes Lucas riding his bike down the street

And there’s a red rose gripped against the handle

Oh dear stars what fresh hell is this

You’re lost for words

Maybe he’d just passing by on his way to give some other girl a--

Nope he’s putting on the break in front of your house

He’s wheeling his bike over to you

Seungmin’s going into resting b*tch mode again

Why does karma hate you??

“(Y/n),” Lucas chuckles. “Don’t get too excited or anything. This isn’t from me. Jaemin asked me to give it to you. He’s been swamped by girls all day and hasn’t had a moment to himself to come find you. He’s got practice after school so...well I owe him a favor after losing a bet last week, so here I am. Haha...ha.”

Oh man, karma really does hate you

You look over to Seungmin, slowly, careful that any sudden movements will set him off (if Lucas’s words haven’t)

…

……

Wow he’s actually pretty calm right now

Hey maybe he’s okay

Wait no he’s not

He’s crushing those roses and chocolates in his arms pretty tightly

He looks really stiff and rigid

You’re surprised there isn’t a vein throbbing out of his forehead right now

And that scary aura is leaking back into the air again…

“Uh, th-thanks Lucas…” You can’t stop stuttering as you reach for the flower

You take it and after exchanging a few lame jokes and chatter, he waves and gives Seungmin a Bro Nod before riding off

...I mean

That could have gone way worse

You honestly thought Seungmin was going to try and stop you

Or say something

And truth be told the author did plan that

BUT

Then she got another idea okay back to you (y/n)

Gee thanks >->

Okay now

You’re watching Lucas ride off into the sunset (not romantically or anything, just seeing him off and secretly cursing him for choosing such a poor time to pull a stunt like that) when Seungmin blocks you view and is standing...really close to you. 

Why is he so close?

He’s...looking down at you intently. Watching you closely.

Huh who what

Why

This is weird

He just keeps getting weirder and weirder

Making less and less sense

And then he says:

“(Y/n)...listen for a second. Please?”

Um okay

Kinda scared to but sure

“Okay…”

“About what happened yesterday...I’m sorry.”

Oh! He’s apologizing!

He’s not crazy after all (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

I’m fine you’re fine everybody’s fine

You smile in relief, feeling your muscles relax and all the tension leave the air. You’re seeing the old Minnie you became friends with in those sparkling eyes, that kind lopsided goofy smile, those soft lips, that...that uh…

……

Soft lips?

Sis I

*internally shaking your head*

Girl you gotta get your butt inside RN

You quickly tell Minnie that it’s alright and sweep the whole thing under the rug, giving him a FRIENDLY kiss on the cheek that he may or may not have taken the wrong way

And you get your crushed flowers and broken chocolates and scramble up the sidewalk leading to your doorstep.

…

You fail to notice how long Seungmin is glaring after you with the purest, yet most lecherous, smile on his face

~~~

The moment you yeet yer ass back into the house

It’s like a reminder notification goes off in your head

And you remember about the tulips

Luckily your parents are out having a romantic dinner at some four-star restaurant, so you gather up all the stuff Seungmin had bought you and make three or four trips getting everything securely into the closet of your room

Plushie goes on the bed

You put the tulips in a vase, pondering curiously at what to make of the whole “last flower dying” business

But that can also wait

Because you have a gift to unwrap

You crack open a box of broken chocolates first (hey they’re still good even if they are a little messy and no longer visibly attractive), then you set the box down before you on your desk and just...stare at it for a minute

Admiring how pretty and fancy it is

It’s after school now, sooo…

You tear into that bad boy ヽ(⌐■◡■)ノ♪♬

…

……

………

It’s

It’s a

   ᴵᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵏᶰᶤᶠᵉ

Seungmin

He

He got you a--

Holy cow uh

Holy shiz

What

What are you supposed to make of this?? 

……………………

There’s another note inside the box, beneath where the knife was

You carefully set down the weapon, you don’t know if it’s a switchblade or what and the last thing you need is this thing popping out at you

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑

……………………………………..

*takes a breath*

Okayyyyyyyy

You take it back

There’s a sinking feeling in your gut right now

You have an idea of what this could mean

But you don’t want to

…

You peek outside your window

No one is there

You stick your head out into the hallway; no one’s home either

Normally you’d hope Mom and Dad would bring you home some leftovers

But tonight you’ve lost your appetite

You don’t even know why you’re stuffing your face with chocolate right now

Stress eating you guess…

…...

You close your door again with a small shiver, reaching down to examine the knife he gave you

Once you manage to get it open anyway

You let out a little yelp the first time, but after practicing a few times it becomes easier and less scary, your confidence in not cutting yourself or losing an eye growing

You turn the blade in the sunlight

It was really freaking pretty

Like 

Really really pretty

It’s shiny af

So so shiny

And let’s face it you love shiny things

You were probably a seagull in a past life with how attracted you were to sparkly objects 

S o s p a r k l y ✨💕

The colors blended so beautifully too, one spectrum flawlessly cascading into the other, then the next

The whole thing was very elegant and feminine

But also cool and kind of retro-looking

A rainbow-stained blade with a black chrome handle

It had a little pocket clip on one side, in case you wanna clip it to your jeans or attach it to something

The design on the handle is pretty

It honestly looks like a butterfly knife, but it’s not

Just a basic spring-assist

You only know this because Minnie catches you examining it again the next day and tells you 

Why did you bring a knife to school, you ask?

Well…

What if your mom decided to do cleaning? Was your whole thought process; she always gets a little nosy after Valentine’s Day and likes to tease you about all the stuff Seungmin usually busy

Wait til she gets a load of Butterfly Gardens in the closet

You’re looking over at Seungmin now, who’s all peaches and cream, looking cute as a button for someone who just gave you a deadly weapon the other day

He looks really excited and pleased with himself 

And then he asks you

“Are you gonna keep it?”

...

Well let’s see

You’re pretty sure if you bring a knife home

As in, your parents see you walking through the front door and actually find out about it

Even if you are just about a legal adult now

Your mom is gonna freak

Your dad won’t be having any part of it either

“yOU’ll shOOt yOUr EyE OUt!1!1!”

“Mom it’s not a gun and this isn’t A Christmas Story!!”

“You’LL STaB YouR eYe ouT1!1!”

Ugh yeah it’d be a no go sis

Plus with that poem he wrote you…

And everything else…

Even if you are friends and all…

Or whatever the heck your connection to him was

It’s all too much

You’re about to respectfully and politely decline when you look at Seungmin’s face and

...

He’s staring at you

Hard

Really hard

Like he looks a little pissed

It’s almost like he read your whole thought process just now

Like he knows you’re about to say no and hand it back to him

Holy shiz

Uh okay bro chill out haha...ha

“Well?”

Dang he don’t sound very pleased either 

Uh uh uh

You smile to cover up the weird feeling in your gut, gripping the blade close to your chest (closed, ofc): “It’s great! So pretty! I love it!”

...That’s not a total lie, anyway.

It is really pretty

And you do like it

Even if it does creep you out a little a lot

But you getting grounded and swamped by Angry Mom™?

Not so great no

Seungmin is suddenly all smiles again, back to his usual goofy/cheerful self. “That’s great, I knew you’d like it. It suits you perfectly. It’s colorful and charming...just like you.”

He swipes a stray hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear tenderly. The whole action is oozing with love and affection...but you’re not sure if it’s the good kind. It’s light on the outside, but it’s got some weight to it. It’s got a...it’s just...

The final bell rings, signaling that All Students Must Yeet Themselves Off The Premises Because Teachers Wanna Go Home Too

Seungmin places a hand against the small of your back, leading you off campus

Once you turn the corner off official school grounds that hand snakes it’s way around your waist, resting on your hip

U m

You’re uh

You’re honestly too scared to say anything

A chill runs up your spine that doesn’t disappear until after he’s dropped you off at home

The next day goes by in a flash, mostly because for the first time ever you stayed up horribly late way past your usual bedtime to stare at what Seungmin had given you, other than a recent case of the heebie-jeebies (> ︿ <”) 

You’d managed to keep the blade hidden from your parents; the moment Minnie dropped you off you’d rushed inside before he could invite himself over (since you could tell it was heading that way and uh...well he was starting to get a bit more handsy) and stormed straight up the stairs to your room, shutting the door and stashing the deadly weapon in a drawer

Seriously, what the heck was going on?! Why was he acting like this? >:((

...

It was on your mind the rest of the evening, while you were doing homework, when you were having dinner

Not even a few episodes of Sailor Moon or your favorite sitcoms were helping

Not even Studio Ghibli

Your mind was present for all of five seconds of Arrietty before you came back to reality and the credits were rolling

Preferably that one part where the dad goes, “sometimes it’s best not to go looking for danger...”

S i g h

Tell me about it, Papa Borrower

You’re trying but it’s like danger won’t stop looking for you

Danger by the name of Kim Seungmin...

...

Was he really dangerous, though?

Kim Seungmin? Dangerous?

He was such a sweet boy

A former delinquent, yes, but the worst he’d done was skip class to do...whatever it was he did. He’d never hurt a fly— at least, not that you knew of

He’s was a Chaotic Shy boy with a kind face that loved photography and flowers and being a sarcastic ass half the time

So what if he had a thing for knives?

It’s normal for teenage boys to be into all that stuff

And maybe he didn’t even have a thing at all

He probably just wanted to catch you off guard to fool you

He wanted to freak you out on purpose

It was all a joke

Yeah!

That’s it!

A dumb prank

Finally you could get some shut eye…

“Would you like to answer this one, (y/n)?”

Your head snaps up, and a few giggles circle round the classroom. Your face flushes in slight embarrassment. 

“Um...yes Mrs. Hwang, of course”

Okay you’ll get some shut eye as soon as school is over

You got the answer wrong, btw

Stupid Seungmin 😞😒 you’d let him have it for giving you a scare like that later

That poem was a nice touch too, the bastard

And as soon as later rolls around, you’re ready to pass it over, boys

Here comes the thunder

It’s your free period, and while you thought about taking a nap and telling a friend to wake you a few minutes before Environmental Systems (that friend being Lucas), you were too upset to sleep

You had to give this jerk a what for 

A good slap upside the head outta do the trick

Yeah!!

He should be in Woodshop right now, if your sleep deprived brain was remembering correctly

Get ready you jerk 😤 cause here comes the—

...

Your froze in the doorway

Wanna know why?

It’s because your eyes instantly find Seungmin

But the moment they do they can’t help but travel downwards to the project he’s working on in his hands

It’s a statue of you

Like okay hear me out

You ain’t tryna be vain or nothin

Because while the carving is really beautiful and all

It’s totally you

There’s no mistaking it

It’s really freaking detailed

And you see yourself in the mirror at least twice a day

So you should be able to recognize yourself when you see her

And bish that is most certainly, without a doubt, a wood carving of you

......

What are you supposed to do now?

What were you doing here again??

Um uh uh

Sh*t bro

This ain’t good

Normally one would be flattered, right?

But you don’t know

You don’t know what to think

You haven’t known what to think since the incident involving Jaemin

You really aren’t sure how you feel about this sudden new development 

You’re just standing there two steps into the room with a fist raised when the boy next to him, your friend Felix (but mainly his), looks over his shoulder and smiles to you, not even questioning why you’re frozen like that. 

“Hey, (y/n)! How’s it going?”

Crap.

Seungmin immediately looks up, and his whole demeanor goes from zero to sixty, calm and focused to chaotic and delighted

If only you could say the same about yourself

“(Y/n)...I wasn’t expecting you to come find me.” He smiles. He does that a lot so long as there isn’t another guy around. (Felix and Changbin not included). “Is everything okay?”

“Um…” Say it, (y/n). Say it! 

You put on a brave face, trying to look as stern as possible. But that idol of you staring you down from across the room is weakening your stature like kryptonite. “Actually...no, it’s not. It’s really not. I need to talk to you--”

“Then let’s go someplace quiet.”

Wait

Right now?

Apparently so

He’s pulling you out into the hall, yelling at Felix to “cover for him.”

The last thing you see is the freckled boy giving him a thumbs up before you’re dragged off to the Student Council office

It’s empty and dark when you get there; the door is locked

Seungmin must have known it would be

He pulls out a key and unlocks the door, sliding it open and sweeping you inside.

He closes the door but

He doesn’t turn the lights on

So you reach and try to feel your way along the walls for the switch, but your fingers find his instead

Causing him to intertwine them with his

He pulls you right up against him…

And he kisses you

Softly

It’s very gentle, very tender

And you find yourself melting into it, even though just a second ago you were ready to klonk his brains out

But then…

Then he shoves you into a wall

No, he’s not passionately throwing you up against it

He’s slamming you into it

Hard

It honestly knocks the wind out of you for a second

And the first thing you see now that your sight has adjusted are his eyes; they’re boiling, dark, violent

He’s definitely not a happy camper

His grip on you is tight; like he’s trying to make you pop or something

It hurts bro

It really, really hurts

You suck in a sharp breath of air, but he silences you by getting the first word in

“Why the hell are you so difficult?”

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUh

You, difficult?! He’s one to talk!

“Wh-What are you--”

“Shut up! I’m not finished talking yet!”

He’s totally cutting off your blood circulation

You feel your arms starting to go numb, then your hands. He continues yelling at you in hushed tones.

“Why did you let me kiss you just now? Why did you kiss me back? Why are you...and them…”

...Them?

Is he talking about...Jaemin? And Lucas? And all the other guys you’ve so much as smiled to?

“...I can’t do this anymore, (y/n)...not if you’re not going to listen to me or do as I say. It’s driving me crazy. Don’t you get it? Don’t you f***ing see how I feel about you? Have you really been so dense this whole f***ing time?!?”

You

You don’t know what to say

But that’s okay because he’s not finished yet anyway

“The other day...on Valentine’s Day...when you told me...you said it was too much…...even if you were just joking…”

He loosens his grip on you for all but two seconds before squeezing you again tenfold

You no longer have it in you to meme the situation or find any part of anything remotely ironic or lighthearted

You let out a whimper of pain and he shoots a hand over your mouth to stifle it...then he’s cupping your face with both hands, using his thumbs to brush away the tears

You’d run

But you’re too scared to move again

Seungmin is much stronger than you

Taller

Faster

And now that you think about it

You’re pretty sure you heard him lock the door while you were fumbling around for the light switch

“......”

“......”

You hiccup and bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying so he’ll give you the space you need right now

This isn’t driving you crazy anymore

It’s scaring you

He’s scaring you

You want the old Seungmin back

The one that wasn’t bipolar and insane

Cause it was all starting to come to you now

The dots were finally connecting

How could you be so blind…?

…

Blind…

Blind.

The poem

What did it say again?

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑

……

You just got an eerie feeling in your chest

Seungmin is still looking at you like a puzzle he can’t seem to piece together. You’re sure you’re looking at him the same way.

“(Y/n). I need to know...tell me, do you…” You can feel his cheeks getting hot inches away from your own. “...Do you feel the same way?”

Crazy? No.

Scared? Upset? Yes.

“...I……” You end on a little sigh, a hesitant puff of air. You can’t get your voice box to work properly.

Unfortunately for you, Seungmin takes this the wrong way; slamming you back into the wall again, he reaches into his pocket, cursing while punching in a number you can’t see. Probably because you’re sinking down the wall with fresh tears in your eyes. You seriously want to go back five years ago and reverse such a terrible mistake...or at least be at home.

You think he’s calling someone, but for some reason he only holds the phone to his ear for all of five seconds before hanging up and putting it away. Guess whoever he was trying to reach wasn’t around.

“......”

And then you see something slowly cross over his face. Like watching a sunrise of realization. Like waking up from a horrible dream, a bad nightmare. 

And then you see that he’s crying.

The tears are silent and steady

And he angles his body quickly to gape at you with a look of pure horror on his face. 

“(Y-Y/n)...”

He drops down to his knees, reaching for you again

But you squeal in panic and flinch away, and he retracts his hands, gripping them close and hanging his head in shame. He’s shaking all over...staring at his hands in disbelief

“......I...I’m so sorry, I...I just...wanted to protect you, (y/n).”

“......”

“Th-Those guys you hang out with. They aren’t good for you. I wanted you to see that...”

“......”

“I’m the only one, (y/n). I’m the only one that understands you. But when you toy with my heart like this--”

“Toy with your heart?!”

You found your voice again. And she ain’t happy.

“...” he swallows, tilting his face up to look you in the eye. Still crying, softly. “...Yes. I--”

“I’ve never toyed with your heart once in my life! I can’t get a word in because you scare the heck out of me! Ever since I met Jaemin at the mall and started talking to Lucas you’ve been acting totally crazy! It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore…!”

………

And then it’s silent for quite some time

“......” he swallows again, turning his head away and muttering curse after curse to himself while he heads to door.

He locks it behind him.

~~~

Well you found the light switch, but turns out it doesn’t work for some dumbass reason

You’re sure you’re doomed

Your phone is in your bag with the rest of your belongings

You’re confused

And sore

You don’t know what to think anymore, for real this time

You could try calling for help? But…

The Student Council hall is located in a more isolated part of the school that rarely anyone uses

Then Seungmin comes back

And he’s got a first aid kit with him

As well as that kicked puppy expression on his face

Nothing really happens, thankfully

He just patches you up (even though you don’t really need it, since it’s just a few bruises and minor scratch marks)

……

And he leaves you alone

School is long over, so you grab your things from where you left them in your cubby--

…

Wait where’s your stuff

Your bag is gone

Your phone was in there

All your textbooks and homework

Gone

...This day just keeps getting better and better doesn’t it?

Then you turn around

And Lucas is standing there

He’s looking pretty worried with his bag slung over his shoulder, yours in the opposite hand

“Where were you today? You just up and vanished all of a sudden. It’s not like you to skip out on class like that.”

“......”

“Some girls in your class told me you didn’t show up for Statistics either.”

“......”

“Or English.”

“......”

“...” Lucas sighs...then his eyes travel down to your arms, catching on a bit too late, and he gapes at you. “...What happened…?”

“......” You can’t help it. Maybe it was the traumatic experience you just had. Maybe you were about to start your time of the month. But (y/n).exe shut down and fell apart.

Lucas drops everything as you run to him, and he stands there and holds you while you sob into his chest, just letting everything spill out: tears, secrets, all of it.

“(y/n)...”

You gasp for another breath, looking up at him. 

“...” His face is twisted with pain, letting you know you’re not gonna like what he’s about to say. “...I think you should stop hanging around him. In fact, I think you need to get a restraining order. I’m not kidding. You don’t know this, but...the way he acts when you’re not around...it’s very different than when he’s with you. He’s very hostile and closed off. He rarely speaks a word to anyone unless he absolutely has to. He’s civil at first, but he gets short pretty easily...he gets hot under the collar the moment anyone, especially a guy, so much as mentions your name...and then today, with you…” He squares his shoulders, standing straight and tall as he’s looking down at you. “Why don’t I walk you to my house? You’re parents went out of town today, didn’t they? I don’t think it’s safe for you to be alone if he knows where you live…”

…

It was true

You’d practically forgotten

Your parents would be out of town for the evening on a short overnight business trip

……

You really don’t want to be alone right now, and you’ve never gotten a bad vibe from Lucas before. You’d grown closer to him since the two of you exchanged numbers as well, so…

You nod your head, and he gives you a kind, sympathetic smile as he leads you away with an arm wrapped carefully and lightly around your shoulders.

~~~

The moment you get to Lucas’s house

You call your mom to let her know you won’t be home

In case she tries calling the house phone and you don’t answer

You can’t tell her you’re staying at a boy’s house that she’s never officially met before, because even if you do trust him she won’t go for it; and because you don’t want to tell her about the Seungmin fiasco either, you mean to tell her you’re staying at a galpals place

But unfortunately for you you don’t have any you can recall off the bat, and because Seungmin is still on your mind his name is the first one that rolls out of your mouth

And you have to go with it

Your mom is a little unsure at first, buuuuut...well okay, Seungmin is a nice boy, he’s over all the time and you’ve known him forever. Just be careful and don’t stay up too late!

Honestly you thought she’d yell at you even if it was Seungmin, so you’re a bit surprised but 

Oh well

At least she won’t call or worry now

You ask if you can at least stop by your house to get a change of clothes and your toothbrush, but Lucas doesn’t think it’s a good idea; instead he buys you a new one from the convenience store and let’s you wear his clothes

The t-shirt nearly swallows you and you have to tighten the drawstring pants all the way to keep them up but

It works out okay ^_^

You’re still a little shaken up over everything, but Lucas is a really good friend; he makes up a space on the floor just for you (he insisted a million times you take his bed; he’d changed the sheets and everything) but you didn’t wanna put him out since it was all such short notice, and he finally caves but makes a tent for you that’s as comfortable as possible

The two of you actually have a lot of fun making a pillow fort.

He orders delivery and the two of you curl up in the tent together watching some old Disney movies on a small box TV he hauls out of his closet

Wow this dude is vintage af with his VHS tapes

But it’s nice

The two of you sipping noodles and laughing at Toy Story and Finding Nemo

You started drifting off halfway through Emperor’s New Groove when he decided it was time for lights out and cleaned up everything

He tucked you in and made sure you were nice and comfortable before closing the tent and turning out the lights

Big Brother of the Year award goes to: Lucas Wong. *applause*

But, well…

M e a n w h i l e

At a certain Dandy Boy™ house

Something was rotten in the state of…[enter town name here]

It started with a phone call he’d just gotten from a little someone called (Y/n)’s Mom

Or as he referred to her, Mrs. (L/n).

“Mrs. (L/n)?”

“Hey, Minnie! I was just calling to check on (y/n) and remind her to bring the mail in before she gets too comfortable. She’s not answering her phone and well...you know how scatterbrained my daughter can be sometimes. I’m sure she’s just got it buried in her purse again or forgot to turn it off of Silent mode.”

“...I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Is (y/n) not home right now?”

“...Well no...is she not with you? She called about...oh, three hours ago? Said she was spending the night at your house.”

“......”

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅.

[bigskydreaming]

I just read that after Tarantulla raped Dick they were going to marry?! WTF DC THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPP is this true?

Yeah, in the issues following Blockbuster’s death and the rape, Dick was a total and complete mess, and Tarantula pretty much spent the next several issues taking advantage of his emotional state. She encouraged him to get drunk to feel better, and tried to use his more vulnerable drunken state to do a number of things which included targeting villains like Copperhead for the sake of her own personal agenda and almost getting married at a chapel. I believe she’d gotten a marriage certificate and everything, and the only thing that kept that from happening is right before it did, Dick got a call from Bruce summoning him back to Gotham to help with the War Games storyline, and the city-wide gang war that had erupted. 

(I honestly can’t remember if it was outright stated or textualized in the issues, but it was heavily implied that there was sexual interaction between Dick and Tarantula during this period…..I don’t want to call it them having sex, because Dick wasn’t in a coherent state of mind to be making the choice to have sex based on his normal priorities. My personal interpretation has always been that Dick let Tarantula drag him along from place to place during this time and ‘consented’ to having sex with her because he was kinda trying to….retroactively reframe what she’d done to him on the roof in issue #93, if that makes sense? Like, my take is that Dick was heavily in denial at this stage, and was kinda trying to convince himself that if he made the ‘choice’ here and NOW to have sex with Tarantula, then he could from there kinda convince himself that what had happened on the roof wasn’t any different. Like ‘well maybe I didn’t technically consent at the time, but see, I’m having sex with her now, and that means I probably would have anyway if my head had just been a little clearer.’ Make no mistake - I’m DEFINITELY not suggesting that this in any way makes what happened in #93 any less of actual rape, and there’s no interpretation IMO of the later scenes between them where Dick was making full use of his own agency rather than just unhealthily trying to cope with something he was still trying to process as him having been victimized by rather than a willing party too. It was all just messy as fuck, is what I’m saying. And Tarantula, whatever she thought she was doing, was very much manipulating the fuck out of Dick at his most vulnerable moments through all of this).

Tarantula went to Gotham with him, and even ‘helped’ the Batfam due to the fact that Bruce kinda just….took the fact that she was accompanying Dick and he wasn’t protesting it as a sign of him vouching for her, instead of like….the fact that Dick wasn’t remotely in the right state of mind of to be making healthy decisions, and was pretty obviously on a path to self-destruction. He was extremely reckless throughout the War Games storyline, getting shot in the leg by cops without it even phasing him, heedlessly risking his own life in order to go after Firefly (who just a couple weeks earlier had been hired by Blockbuster to burn down Haly’s Circus), and he basically gave the impression that he didn’t really care if he got both of them shot by the cops while he was going after Firefly - to the extent that it freaked Firefly out and he was yelling wtf are you doing, you Bats aren’t supposed to act like this. 

In the immediate aftermath of the War Games storyline, while still recovering from a gunshot wound in his leg, Dick left Gotham again without a word to anyone, just leaving his Nightwing costume abandoned in the Cave. He went back to Bludhaven, with Tarantula following him, and there he turned both himself and Catalina in for the murder of Blockbuster. (He turned himself in as Officer Dick Grayson, who’d been fired from the force before Blockbuster’s death, and basically presented himself as a cop who’d gone rogue rather than implicating himself as Nightwing, so as not to draw any heat back towards the rest of the Batfam by association). He was in jail for like a day or two, but then his former partner and now the captain of the precinct, Amy Rohrbach, had him released and said she refused to let him throw his life away out of guilt for something he didn’t even do. 

(She’d known his identity for some time, and its the reason he quit being a cop, she told him he had to choose and it was a conflict of interest….BUT the very night Blockbuster died, she came to him, knowing what Blockbuster had been doing and how he’d been targeting everyone Dick loved in his civilian life, and she offered to give him his gun and badge back so he’d be ‘covered’ if he had to shoot to kill Blockbuster in their inevitable confrontation. Dick refused to take them though.)

But anyway, when Amy made it clear that she wasn’t going to sit back and let Dick throw himself on his sword out of misplaced guilt for a murder he hadn’t actually committed, and was willing to drag herself down with him if he pushed it, Dick was released and he continued to spiral….and this is when he came up with his plan to infiltrate the mob and then from there the Society of Supervillains as Renegade. He first worked as an enforcer for the mob, nicknamed “Crutches” for the fact that he was still on crutches due to his leg injury, but this didn’t stop him from being effective….and then once he got what he’d wanted out of that he progressed to developing the Renegade persona and working for the Society and with Deathstroke. Basically, all of this was part of a plan he’d come up with to ensure Bludhaven’s safety in the longterm, without his presence….he was explicitly counting on not being around to protect Bludhaven himself, mostly because he didn’t deserve to be in his eyes, and it was heavily implied that he was at least passively suicidal at this time and was enacting this plan as kinda a form of ‘getting his affairs in order.’ 

Basically, the idea was he used his infiltrations to get leverage over the various mobs and make deals with supervillains notorious enough to ensure other villains obeyed a decree to stay out of Bludhaven….and ultimately his plan was to have Bludhaven become a kinda ‘no-fly zone’ for supervillains, the mob and superheroes alike, a city that was left alone for its citizens to live without outside interference. He’d gotten the leverage he needed to keep the mobs from operating in Bludhaven and had a supposed agreement with Deathstroke to keep the villains out….when Slade went back on his word and cooperated with the rest of the Society to drop the nuclear supervillain Chemo on Bludhaven and destroy the city just before Dick managed to bring his months long plans to fruition.

So, this is why if you’ve seen me post about the Blockbuster stuff before, I tend to say I hate how its been boiled down and reduced to just the rape on the rooftop by Tarantula. Yes that was bad enough on its own, but there was SO MUCH SHIT being thrown at Dick from EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE, simultaneously, with no reprieve. Everything he was working towards was systematically thwarted and dismantled in both his civilian and superhero lives and nothing was going his way, and nobody anywhere was showing up to help him, and he truly was at rock bottom, and I hate hate hate people thinking he only has one or two major traumas in his life because that was like….a good year long exercise in misery for him. He canonically spent months undercover working within the mobs and the Society to try and make his plans happen, months surrounding himself by the worst of the worst and convincing himself all the while that he BELONGED among them. That was part of why he was doing what he was doing, make no mistake…..he fully believed at the time that he’d become no better than them.

And its why I loathe Bruce’s ultimate ‘pep talk’ to him, when Dick was finally recovering in the Batcave after Superman flew him out of radioactive, destroyed Bludhaven, where Dick had RUN BACK INTO in an attempt to save as many people as he could. “I can forgive you for Blockbuster’s death, if you really need me to, but I can’t and won’t forgive you for losing sight of the value of your own life.” REALLY, Bruce? Like, what the fuck is that? First off, why the fuck would you make that conditional like “if you really need me to”….if you think your son needs to feel you’ve forgiven him for something that wasn’t even his fault, just SAY THAT, without qualifiers. But…how the hell do you expect him to keep sight of the value of his own life if YOU’RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND WHEN HE MOST NEEDS SOMEONE ELSE TO REMIND HIM HIS LIFE HAS VALUE???

Ugh.

So eternally annoyed with the non-resolution to all of that.

Oh, and also keep in mind that in comic book time, relatively speaking, all of this is not that long after Dick killed the Joker and Bruce like….walked off and said Dick needed to figure out how to live with that on his own. With them pretty much never actually resolving this, or addressing how freaking much of the fallout from Blockbuster’s death and his bystander role in it was probably Dick overcompensating for still feeling like he’d disappointed Bruce and betrayed his ideals by killing the Joker, and that Bruce hadn’t and wouldn’t forgive him for that.

He thought he was responsible for Blockbuster’s murder because he was already convinced he was a murderer, because nobody after Last Laugh just went to him and said “Look, who the fuck cares what Bruce thinks, it was the fucking Joker, he murdered your brother and was trying to murder your other brother, anyone who says you were wrong to kill the fucker can fuck off.”

But I mean, hey maybe that’s just me. LOLOL.

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Raising Hell

So, uh, basically I have no idea why anything in this episode happens or what its point is supposed to be. Having looked up who wrote it somewhere in the middle, I am completely lacking in surprise.

I mean, the first bit pretty much sets the tone.  Chatty Corpsy spouts exposition a mile a minute, then gets killed, and the ghost stands over her and spells disembowel.  Is that actually supposed to be scary?  Funny?  Anything but an absolutely bizarre waste of my time?

A bunch of dudes with basically nothing but FBI jackets and a bullshit story to back themselves up with convince an entire town to camp out in the local high school for two days without anybody figuring out they're full of shit.  You know, what with smartphones existing and all.  Plausible!

Furthermore, I have become convinced that everyone in this writer's room genuinely believes there is nothing scarier than a bunch of random antagonists standing around in a room pontificating at each other.  It's all demons do anymore. It's all angels do anymore.  Oh, fucking look, here's a bunch of goddamn ghosts doing it, too!  A fucking thrill a minute, I tell you.

Also, you know how the episode with H.H. Holmes was actually scary?  Whether or not you think it's in questionable taste for them to use real life serial killers at all, the reason they included him was because the whole murder castle deal and semi-mythical legends about him made for a scary premise they actually used in the episode.  I ignored the thing with it being Gacy before in Lebanon because there was more important stuff going on, but contrast the current writers' choices with him and this Jack the Ripper guy with the use of Holmes.  Here they're just throwing out the names of real life murderers to try and make their villains scary in the cheapest, fastest way possible.  Just like bringing back “Bloody Mary” that just kills whoever, this loudmouthed windbag has nothing to do with the name they're stealing to try and make him scary.

Also, the spell demon guy did is keeping the ghosts in, right?  Sure, it's going to fail, but at the moment, it's supposed to be an impassible barrier, yes?  So why, exactly, is it necessary for Sam to call in his goon squad to join the four of them in wandering into the danger zone to shoot at 'em? Seriously, why?  Shooting them dissipates them for a few seconds, maybe minutes.  They’re not laying out additional salt or iron lines or doing anything that might genuinely help contain the ghosts, they’re just putting themselves in danger because ...?  The mooks could also be better spent guarding the major entrance points to the town and/or the townies and/or doing research back at the bunker into what they're going to try next after the barrier fails.  But those things would actually make sense and prevent the shambling zombie that is the writers’ pathetic attempt at a plot in this episode being pushed into something vaguely resembling action. 

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Rowena is now suddenly unable to do something with her powers that she did before.  Hey, remember when she stole that page out of the damned book to make herself more powerful to unseal her full powers (even though they touted her as the most powerful witch ever to begin with) and that was in season 13, well after the ghost-crystal-bomb thing?  But LOL, now she's even weaker?  This is exactly why nothing matters anymore.  Things that worked previously (angel powers, witch powers, the Colt, whatever) suddenly and randomly don't work to do the exact same jobs for … reasons.  The thing that makes it even dumber is they could have said that the ghost containing spell and crystal ghost sucking spell interfered with each other somehow.  Still at a bullshit level of convenience, but it doesn't involve making everyone and everything's powers completely arbitrary just because fuck continuity, that’s why!

Then Ketch shows up to save the Winchesters from their sudden attack of brain damage.  The show has provided an entire. fucking. town. full of angry ghosts straight from hell.  But actually bother to write a scene of Sam and Dean legit getting over their heads in a believable way?  Why fucking bother when you can just make them astoundingly incompetent.  It is literally unbelievable that Sam and Dean would not recognize those people as possessed fucking immediately.  Yet they stand there with rock salt filled shotguns doing sweet fuckall confronted by three fucking ghosts so Ketch can make a big entrance.  Is there a rule on a board somewhere in the writer's room that Sam and Dean have to be made to look incompetent at least once an episode?  Is this some kind of revenge for having to still write the main characters they're so clearly bored with?  Are these idiots just so fucking stupid they don't realize how insulting this is?  Did they run out of money for extras and the stunt coordinator?  

Also, someone explain to me how tiny flakes of metal are going to be less harmful to a human body than rock salt.  I'll wait.  They just really really wanted Ketch as one of the BMoL guys to have some kind of specialized gadget but couldn’t give him something actually potentially useful for the situation at hand.

Again, these writers really want to be writing a bad soap opera with occasional supernatural elements.  So despite that it's the final fucking season, we have time for Rowena and Ketch flirting.  Not to mention that they also give the only major female character even more relationship drama with the Jack the Ripper guy later.  If it's not questionably skeevy, it's not Bucklemming! 

Also, Castiel is not good at inspirational speeches, just like he’s frustratingly almost never good at anything else these days (those healing powers that were working last week? ha! forget it!).  Anyway, why do they keep having him make them?  Are we as the audience supposed to find them convincing though they never work on the target?  Are we supposed to feel bad for all the ~*feelings*~ Castiel supposedly has despite being an angel who isn’t supposed to have emotions the same way humans do?  I guess this particular one is to further show that Dean’s still mad (which I am absolutely 100% behind) but eh, whatever.  Though I guess that still ranks it above most of the episode sitting at a solid WTF, no really, WTF?!

Now we get to the part where they bring Kevin back for no fucking reason beyond that he's a “fan favorite”.  None of it makes a single tiny speck of sense.  Let's skip right past the fundamental absurdity of how Chuck apparently did this for literally no reason just to be a dick when he was actively trying to pretend not to be a dick.  Kevin has a “bad boy” reputation (come the fuck on) because God Himself cast him down - so him being in hell would have to be fairly common knowledge, for it to result in him having a reputation.  Except literally no demon Sam & Dean ran into between 11.21 and now taunted them with it?  Crowley, who was still alive and fucking King of Hell through season 12 never noticed and either told the Winchesters or tried to trade on it?  BULL and SHIT.  This is pretty close to the same scale of insult to continuity and the audience’s intelligence as these two fuckwits suddenly writing Lucifer as the older brother. 

Then in typical fashion, Sam & Dean discuss their plans to totes send Kevin to heaven in front of demon guy just so they can be told OH NOES!  He totally can't go to heaven!  So sad!  The poor widdle woobie!  Fuck off with this shit, show.  Not even to mention that they take the word of a demon as gospel truth when there is no time crunch or clear lack of better options.  It's all those many many hits to the head, I guess.  That I do actually find quite sad.  I mean, I don't actually want Kevin hanging around like a bad smell while they divert from actually important shit to try and get him to heaven where it makes no sense for him not to already be.  But at the end they don't even arrange some way to keep in touch just in case the fucking demon might be (gasp) lying?

Hey, I did actually like the exchange between Dean and Sam over Chuck poking his corresponding wound.  Oh, look, it's Sam's “I'm totally lying” face, followed by Dean's “I totally know you're lying but I'll let it go for now, Sam” face.  It was a great moment that required very little dialogue to work quite well.  It's such a shame nobody's making a show about these two characters!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The absurdity keeps on coming, too.  In the whole two days they've been wasting time in Sunshine Daylightville they never discussed how long the spell would last?  Oh, right, they were too busy wandering into the ghost zone to shoot at 'em for shits and giggles to care about that, I guess.  Not to mention the whole “just cast it again!” is remarkably blasé about it requiring a 'fresher the better!' human heart.

More ghosts blathering at each other.  Yay.  This supposed Jack the Ripper guy is just always in the right place at the right time to hear all the gossip, knows every random thing he could possibly need to, and already has the power to intimidate and attack other ghosts. He's basically ghost!Asmodeus, who also steals AU!Michael's original idea of how to get through the barrier, because we really needed time spent discussing the world's most obvious plan.  Also, we've seen ghosts able to attack and absorb the power of other ghosts, but it was because they had already been doing it for a while.  This guy is just as fresh out of hell as everybody else, but he's more powerful and knowledgeable and totes threatening!!!  Well, I'm convinced and not on the verge of napping from boredom.

Naturally for reasons, Rowena goes into town entirely by herself without protection with their only real hope of containing the ghosts before the barrier breaks down instead of anybody insisting on her going with backup.  That's what anybody with a brain would do!  

Of course no one asks where Ketch has been the whole time.  Or even thinks of trying to test him after he was last seen literally knocked unconscious in the middle of ghost central where we know there are plenty of ghosts angry enough to be capable of possession.  Nope, why would anyone even think to do that?  Everything in this “plot” that happens requires all of the characters to be completely fucking stupid.

I'm going to assume by “you” Ketch meant “you Winchesters” because Mary wasn't there.  It probably didn't, because Bucklemming, but fuck it.  It's the least egregious stupidity in this episode that's a cornucopia of choices for the worst.

I … actually like the scenes with Chuck and Amara?  So, you know, that's something!  

Then the episode ends with the guys looking at all the ghosties still shooting up from hell and wring their hands about what they're going to do and maybe they should get on that!  Again, if Sam's flunkies aren't all dead, why aren't their worthless asses already researching this shit over the past two days?  It's not like it's new news that there was a big open hole to hell at the center of the problem and there was honestly nothing but wrangling some cranky civilians to interfere with trying to think ahead to that.

In summary, this episode is a constant showcase of the problems that result when you set incompetent morons who don't recognize their own inadequacy to write characters who are actually supposed to be intelligent experts at their work.  It's a joke – except not at all funny.

[smeemyselfandi]

1. Marriage Story- Never seen a film that did marriage and divorce so well.

2. Avengers Endgame- A almost perfect climax to a great saga.

3. JoJo Rabbit- Such a charming film especially considering the topic.

4. The Last Black Man in San Francisco- A underrated gem with great performances on a unique story.

5. 1917- The gimmick was needed to let you feel what it's like to go through war and how it never feels like it ends.

6. Uncut Gems- This movie is stressful. Also while I think Sandler was very good I don't think he should have won a Oscar for this but maybe nominated.

7. The Irishman- A great reminder of great actors and a great director. Might be the last time we see them this great.

8. Spider-Man: Far From Home- Didn't expect it to be as good as it was. Mainly cause of the great villian.

9. Toy Story 4- This was probably the funniest of the Toy Story series but probably the one with the least amount of emotion.

10. Shazam- One of the best family films of the year.

11. Rocketman- A wonderful music video tribute to one of the best!

12. Parasite- A good message for a crazy story that you don't know where it's going.

13. Us- Wonderful performance by Lupita makes this Twlight Zone episode worth watching.

14. The Lighthouse- Great performances and good atmosphere. Felt like I would have liked it more if it wasn't for the hype.

15. Midsommar- A bit disappointing considering how much I loved Hereditary but still good even though the story was predictable.

16. Missing Link- Underrated with its beatufiul animation and cute story.

17. Knives Out- The story is kind of a mess but the actors are having fun and it's a pretty fun movie for the most part.

18. John Wick 3- Feels similar to the first two but hooks you in the more you watch making it one of the best action trilogies.

19. Little Woman- A good story and film but I'm not so sure it needed to be told again.

20. Honey Boy- Can we all admit that Shia can act now?

21. Steven Universe The Movie- The show is better but the villian in this is sooo good.

22. Captain Marvel- Fun superhero story that people was too harsh to.

23. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood- Feel like Quentin ego and foot fetish hurts it but still a fun movie.

24. Bombshell- A important topic with good performances but felt it could have been done better.

25. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part- It's not as good as the first but still fun and worth watching.

26. Joker- I mean Joaquin did do a great performance but he has done better and the story was a bit ehh. Possibly the most overrated movie of the year.

27. How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World: Beatufiul animation but the story and villian are lackluster.

28. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood- Worth it for Tom Hanks performance but the cliche story almost ruined it.

29. Fyre Fraud- A good story to tell that was told the right way.

30. Judy- Felt this could have been done way better if they focused on her childhood more but Renee is still good.

31. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark- Kind of underrated but had a disappointing ending and some bad CGI.

32. Always Be My Maybe- Has one of the best cameos ever.

33. Doctor Sleep- Two scenes save this from being okay or bad but the rest of it is ehhhhhh.

34. Fighting With My Family- A cute story but feel like it could have been better if they told the real story instead of making up 40% of it.

35. Batman Hush- I think it's better than people say and didn't mind the change of the original but still kind of forgettable.

36. Detective Pikachu- Cuteness makes this one of the best video game movies of all time which doesn't say much.

37. Booksmart- Felt this should have been better but used the same tropes as most coming of age films do.

38. Yesterday- A cute story done in a unique way but nothing groundbreaking.

39. Wicked Shockingly Evil and Vile- The performance of Zach doesn't save it cause the story seems misdirected on what it wants to tell.

40. Glass- It's dumb and Bruce Willis is barely acting in this but still fun and a nice end even though some of it doesn't make sense.

41. Alita: Battle Angel: A good life action anime with a terrible love story in it.

42. Lion King- Was it pointless and way worse than the original? Yes but it was still pretty impressive to look at.

43. Childs Play- A unique way to tell the story but not sure it needed to be retold.

44. It Chapter Two- Wasn't really scary and kind of dumb except the birth mark part. But Bill Hader is sooo good in this!

45. Frozen 2- Probably the most disappointing film of the year. The story was a mess and borderline insulting to the original.

46. Dark Phoenix- The last action scene almost saved it but everything else was pretty bad.

47. Justice League vs. The Fatal Five- Everything is fine with this film except the Fatal Five. They were pretty boring.

48. Aladdin- Will Smith and Mena had good chemistry but still a pointless remake of a great film.

49. Beach Bum- Matthew does a fine performance but his character does something so bad and the film just treats it like whatever.

50. Pet Sematary- A pointless reboot of a great story. This takes everything great about it and makes it bland.

51. Culture Shock- A cliche Twlight Zone wannabe that had potenial but was disappointing.

52. Godzilla: King of the Monsters- The human characters were soooo bad but hey the monster fights were kind of fun

53. Wonder Woman Bloodlines- The beginning is pretty awful considering how they rushed it but the villian at the end nearly saves it.

54. Brightburn- How do you make such a lazy cliche film on such a interesting topic?

55. Dumbo- Dumbo was cute but everything else was pretty bad. WTF happened to you Tim Burton?

56. Reign Of Superman- Just as dumb as the comic.

57. Escape Room- Just as dumb as it sounds and predictable.

58. Happy Death Day 2U- Just because you're self aware how dumb this is doesn't make it any less dumb.

[timeisacephalopod]

Ive seen endgame! Spoilers under the cut and I’m not tagging this as spoilers because I’m literally telling you now its spoilers.

1- what the fuck was the point of Tony’s kid? We had more than 10 years with this character, he doesn’t need a kid for emotional impact when he died and now I’m kind of pissed they threw this fucking random kid in there only to orphan the poor thing and make Pepper a single mother. What fucking bullshit. Never should have been a storyline.

2- Pepper in the suit yaaaaaas.

3- Wanda. Fucking loved her moments. And Thanos’ “I don’t even know who you are” was fucking iconic lmao. I mean her “you will” was okay but holy fucking damn that was the funniest shit from Thanos.

4- they killed viz permanently lmao yeah I didn’t give 2 tits and a snare drum about him anyway so I don’t care.

5- Steve. What the fucking fuck did they do to him? Don’t get me wrong, I like Peggy, and I liked him and Peggy in FA. They were cute. But it was a 4 month fling in the middle of of a war. Not that it can’t be important, but after 15+ years you are telling me a 4 month fling from Steve’s youth is more important to him than everything else? And what of Bucky? He leaves him to HYDRA and after all the shit he went through in WS and CW you’re seriously telling me he’d just LEAVE him there like that? I don’t mean to be a dick to Peggy because I do like her, but narratively speaking Bucky has always played more importance to her except when they want to make Steve feel nostalgic. I’m sorry, I’m fucking over that plot line.

More than that though she moved on in her show, she had a life after Steve and he went back and took that from her. And I don’t see why aside from no one let him grow as a character while also having him grow as a character. He went through a huge character shift in WS and then we saw nothing of it. Aside from his motivations in CW, which make sense given the context of WS however much I disagree, we see none of that development and I’m fucking tired of watching him lament over a relationship that lasted for a shorter time than a high school semester. To any normal person, and even to Steve given his non normal stance, he would have moved the fuck on. Also he made out with her niece that one time!! How is he living with this!

Also Sam says they never had a Captain America but Steve was still big when he danced with Peggy, which means he got the serum, which means he still can’t age right, which begs the question of how the tits long did he live? And again, what does this mean for everything else considering getting the serum implies he was, at some point, Cap even if he was never the Cap they knew. What the fuck! I’m actually the most mad about this because Steve, post WS, probably would have been one of my favorite characters given his extreme narrative shift and just how interesting that could have been if anyone ever fucking let him move on with his fucking self but no. Instead we end with him in the same spot he started in! I watched ten years of this shit for him to do NOTHING? All that development (that the narratives never really let him go through in totality because he narratively never shifted out of his War and Peggy Phase even while his character, on an individual level, moved out of that several times) and I watch him end in the same place he started?

Honestly I’m pretty pissed about that. Especially with all the did with Bucky. I seriously can’t believe Steve fucking left him there, ignored every piece of information he had, ruined Peggy’s original happy ending, and then didn’t even grow as a character. I like that he got a happy ending, I think he’s earned that, but I simply cannot believe a 4 month fucking fling meant so much he’d ignore his best friend, HYDRA, Peggy’s original marriage, the fact that he made out with her niece that one time, and everything else to end up exactly where he started. Which is why I don’t really care for him to begin with- because the narrative always leaves him right at the beginning and I don’t know how to invest in a character that grows but never grows. If he narratively was allowed to grow he would have been so. Much. Better. It is so fucking frustrating to me that he never moved the fuck on. You have no idea.

6- “I can do this all day” “Yeah I know”

7- “You look like melted ice cream”

8- Hated almost everything they did with Thor. Fat jokes? Yikes. Though I did love that ice cream line. Loved the bit with Frigga. And like. Thor being devastated and traumatized is ok. I think that’s realistic enough even if I wonder how someone that’s been alive for well over 1000 years doesn’t know how to handle himself with slightly more grace. I would have liked to see him crack differently.

9- Cap picking up Thor’s hammer and Thor being happy about it? 10 000 times better than the garbage Whedon wrote. Loved that.

10- Nebula. N E B U L A. NEEEEEBBBUUUUULLLLAAAA. Start to finish fucking loved her. She was amazing. 2 questions though- how did she not kill herself when she killed herself? Which in itself is a fucky question to ask. And also the second contention point I have with the movie beyond time travel bullshit is why NO ONE asked where she was post Nat (that in a minute). I know they were sad about Nat obviously but Rhodey is a full bird colonel, he keeps track of thousands of people for his job, plus all of his involvement in Tony’s antics, plus the Avengers and you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone even with Nat? And Tony, you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone? He was the one who bonded with her the most and he didn’t notice that he’s now technically lost two people he was close to? And Rocket? He didn’t notice? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that was bullshit.

Even if, by chance, Rhodey somehow didn’t notice his partner in crime was missing (”I wasn't always like this” “Neither was I”- new BroTP yo!) when I think his military experience alone would have made him the second most likely to notice after Rocket (because he knows her the best) then Rocket should have. And if for some reason Rocket didn’t notice despite her being all that’s left of his found family, making him extra invested in her whereabouts, over Nat, whom I think he’d care about but not like Nebula, then Tony, who spent all that time with her in space, would have noticed.

Fucking someone would have noticed her gone. And the whole second half relies on no one noticing this moment and I call absolute bullshit on that. Someone. Would. Have. Noticed. Rhodey if for no other reason than experience of keeping track of people in war zones, Rocket if for no other reason than her being his last remaining connection to his family, and Tony if for no other reason than Nebula being a large part of the reason he’s alive. I was completely thrown from the story here. I simply can’t see how they could over look that even considering Natasha.

11- Natasha. Are you fucking kidding me? You killed her over Clint? I fucking hate MCU Clint. He’s boring, he’s nothing like the comics, he’s a fucking prick, and I don’t give a fuck about his family or anything to do with him. I liked him best when he was going to kill himself for Natasha. That is the only moment, as Marie Kondo would say, sparked joy for me. Otherwise throw the whole thing out. Fucking Natasha over Clint. Fuck you. That was an insult to the viewers. I don’t give a fuck about Clint, I don’t give a fuck about his kids aside from thinking they didn’t deserve the snap, and I don’t give a fuck about his story.

My mom said he was a plain Timbit (donut hole for the US readers) in a donut world and I honestly think that’s insulting to the plain Timbit, which is something we give to dogs as treats in Canada. Clint isn’t even a dog treat to me and they killed Black Widow over him. Fucking pissed.

12- “That suit does nothing for your ass” “No one was asking you to look, Tony!” “That’s America’s ass!” .... “That is America’s ass”

13- I actually really liked what they did with Bruce. I was excited to see all the benefits of the Hulk and Banner in one! That was pretty cool!

14- Strange’s reappearance was pretty badass. And Wong! I was excited to see him there! Was a bit surprised by Tilda Swinton’s appearance but okay. I didn’t hate it. Loved when she punched Bruce out of the Hulk lmfao that was so funny. I do like that she apparently does that to everyone lmao. I should write a fic where she punches Wong’s soul out of his body when the meet just because I think it’d be funny. And I’d love to see more Wong.

15- Steve vs Steve was really cool, I liked that. And fucking Hail HYDRA holy fucking shit I almost lost my ass. Couldn’t fucking believe he said that (and knowing that he just leaves that all for Peggy, his 4 month fling? Find this wildly out of character for him). Then he fucks right off with the tesseract omg.

16- Scott had some iconic one-liners. “That’s America’s ass!” “Okay I'm going to go inside you” omg. Ant Man was a joy to watch in this. I find Endgame used his character right.

17- I know I said it but Pepper Potts in the fucking suit y’all! I don’t know who was watching Morgan but also Pepper Potts in the fucking suit!!

18- That time travel shit made things entirely way too fucky. I knew that’s what they were going to do because that’s all that made sense, but I thought it was fucking stupid. And can Thanos even snap the stones out of existence? Because Tilda Swinton’s speech implied if he did something like that timelines would essentially do the funky chicken and die. She removed the time stone and shit was supposed to get weird, remove all 5 and what happens? Wtf? He fucking hid those stones. Did like Thor’s bit there though, killing Thanos. I think Nebula earned it more than him but I also think it was a good moment for Thor before his character became a fucking joke. 

19- narratively I understand why they started with Clint’s family dusting but I don’t give a fuck about Clint or his dusted family. I would have preferred watching a civilian lose his shit.

20- Steve you need therapy, stop leading therapy sessions. Especially when your advice is ‘move on’ and you literally go fucking nowhere in your life even after you went all over hell’s creations. Get this man a proper therapist he needs like 15!

21- lmfao Russos talking about gay representation and it was a guy talking about a date. I shit you the fuck not that was it. Gay. It was barely even there. Only straight men would ever assume that could possibly count as representation holy fuck. Like thanks for the blink you miss it shout out I guess. You remembered gays exist, wow!

22- Strange’s one finger thing, I liked that a lot actually. I think it functioned both as a great call to action and a nice reference to Stephen’s power.

23- Quick question, why was Tilda Swinton in New York? Because they went back too far for Strange- at first I when they mentioned 3 stones in NY I was like wait, when’s Strange’s story supposed to happen? After WS right? He can’t be in NY with the stone? But then Tilda showed up and I was like... why isn’t she in Nepal at the teaching sanctum? Because apparently the NY one isn’t a teaching sanctum and as far as I knew she was training Mordo and Wong there at this time so wtf? And it can’t be explained with ‘she knew she needed to be there’ because she punched Bruce out of hulk and he had to grovel to her to get the fucking thing from her and only managed because she knew Stephen gave up the stone willingly and would never do so without good reason because he’s the best fo the best. So like. Why was she there aside from plot convenience? That was a little too easy. Frankly, the whole plot was a touch too easy but still.

24- tired of aliens we’re supposed to relate to looking like humans but in pink while aliens we’re supposed to dislike are animalistic and non human looking. That’s a garbage trope.

25- The black woman in the elevator who made Tony and Steve is 100% Fury’s mother no one can convince me otherwise. I think the timeline matches up but I don’t care if it doesn’t she’s his mom now. He gets it all from his mama.

Bonus: stop trying to make Howard happen, Marvel, its not going to. I fucking hated that scene with Tony and Howard. What kind of bullshit abuse apology was that? Howard then, sure, he didn’t suck quite yet and seems to be aware of his own shortcomings. Howard in the future? Sorry, irredeemable crap. Narratively interesting irredeemable crap but irredeemable nonetheless. Tony panicking and saying his last name was Potts was great though lol. I’ll take it as evidence he took Pepper’s last name when they got married.

Bonus Bonus: I cried when Sam held the shield. I’ve been gunning for Sam to take over as Cap since we met him and everyone told me it’d be Bucky. I argued that we’ve already seen the story of a super soldier as Cap, it would be more interesting to watch Sam as a relatively normal guy take over as Cap. And I like Bucky traumatized and Winter Solider-y. I think he’s more interesting that way. Seriously though, Sam as Cap will be amazing and I didn’t expect to cry at that of all things but I did. I’m so excited to see him in that role!

Bonus Bonus Bonus for any sorry fucking soul who’s made it this far in I think I might update the Tony, T’Challa, and Their Gaggle of Children verse to include Morgan (but older) finding Tony only she’s his actual assed kid and no one believes it even though they have a striking resemblance. Which annoys them both because he got the media to buy all his other fake kids with easy to track down parents but not his actual kid. Ending with Nebula showing up and him claiming she’s his kid and everyone buying it.

[johnnymundano]

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

Directed by Lexi Alexander

Screenplay by Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Nick Santora

The Punisher created by Gerry Conway, Ross Andru and John Romita Snr.

Music by Michael Wandmacher

Country: United States

Running Time: 103 minutes

CAST

Ray Stevenson as Frank Castle/The Punisher

Wayne Knight as Linus Lieberman/Microchip

Colin Salmon as Paul Budiansky

Doug Hutchison as James Russoti/Loony Bin Jim (LBJ)

Dominic West as Billy Russoti/Jigsaw

Dash Mihok as Martin Soap

Romano Orzari as Nicky Donatelli

Julie Benz as Angela Donatelli

Stephanie Janusauskas as Grace Donatelli

Larry Day as Agent Miller

Ron Lea as Captain Ross

T.J. Storm as Maginty

Mark Camacho as Pittsy

Keram Malicki-Sánchez as Ink

Carlos Gonzalez-vlo as Carlos Cruz

David Vadim as Cristu Bulat

Aubert Pallascio as Tiberiu Bulat

Bjanka Murgel as Arm Candy

(Guilt Belch: I took the images from The Internet. But everything everywhere is  ©®™ Marvel©®™.)

The Punisher©®™ is Marvel©®™’s greatest and most lovable mass murder. He’s an utter nutter. No two ways about it, Frank Castle is no hero. A 1974 comic book knock-off of other vigilante figures in other media, back when New York was doing a good impression of both Sodom and Gomorrah, that’s The Punisher©®™. Basically. Over the years the need to shift units to children meant he developed into a sympathetic character, but one whose stories, once childhood faded, were really only worth reading for the art; and then only some of them (I liked the ones drawn by Joe Kubert, John Romita Jnr and Klaus Janson).  With the exception of  about six Mike Baron scripted issues in 1987 and, for sheer WTF?!?, that time in 1991 where The Punisher©®™ turned into a black man, they were forgettable stuff. It wasn’t until Garth Ennis started writing them that The Punisher©®™ comics were wholly decent comics. Garth Ennis being Garth Ennis there was an initial emphasis on unfunny playground humour, but his later Punisher Max©®™ series burned this out and concentrated on Frank Castle as Soulless Monster. Which was nice. Punisher: War Zone©®™, a belated sequel to the forgettable 2009 The Punisher©®™, takes its cue from both sets of Ennis’ Punisher©®™ comics, and is as good as neither.

Obviously I am openly a pinko limp-wristed snowflake who believes in rehabilitation and (shhhhh!) not descending to the level of your enemy; basically I’m temperamentally pretty much the complete opposite of The Punisher©®™. But I can afford to think like that; after all, I haven’t had my whole family gunned down in Central Park while picnicking between two rival criminal factions. (Frank Castle is as good at picking picnicking spots as Thomas Wayne is at choosing shortcuts.) Had I cradled the bloody corpses of my family amongst the pulped tuna sandwiches, crushed crisps and spilled soft drinks of a murderously truncated picnic, perhaps I too would be waging a war on crime from my lair under the New York subway, aided only by that hefty fella from Jurassic Park (1993) and some cops on the down-low. I’m not sure I’d find time to spray paint a skull on my chest armour, but I’d definitely have a big comfy chair to brood in like Frank has. Mine would have a cup holder though, perhaps an antimacassar if I was feeling bold.

From that simple premise Punisher War Zone©®™ manages to make an intermittently entertaining, occasionally fantastically violent, movie suitable for viewing with your teenage son. If anyone involved had any higher ambitions then I would say they failed. In the post-John Wick world in which we dazedly find ourselves it is readily apparent that much of the problem with Punisher: War Zone©®™ is too much plot. There’s just too much faffing about trying to get reasons to have Frank kill people. If John Wick has taught us anything, it’s that we really don’t need much of a reason for the killing, but that killing better be spectacular stuff. Such a simple lesson would not be learned until 2014, alas. So here, back in 2008, there is much huffing and puffing about Frank accidentally killing an FBI Agent, feeling bad about it and killing lots of cartoonishly bad people. Killing lots of people remains a remarkably efficacious solution to all the problems presented in Punisher: War Zone©®™. Which is entirely as it should be in a Punisher©®™ movie (but I feel the need to stress that in real life it’s less effective).

Lexi Alexander directs in that rapid-fire music video style popular at the time, and has a marked penchant for lighting scenes in one key colour. I enjoyed this latter aspec,t but less so the kind of blurred out approach to detail in longshots; mostly because I don’t need a sneak preview of what cataracts will be like, thanks. Oh, it’s probably worth noting for fans of Marvel©®™ movies that Punisher: War Zone©®™ dates from before Marvel©®™ brought things in-house, so there’s no cameo from Iron Man©®™ being insufferably smug or an after credits scene of Fin Fang Foom©®™ playing blackjack in the bath. There is, though, an actor who looks a lot like comics’ most overrated writer Brian Michael Bendis, so you could pretend that’s a cameo if you’re really desperate.

Unusually for a comic book movie most of the actors in Punisher: War Zone©®™ act like they believe they are actually in a comic. Nuance is not on the agenda in Punisher: War Zone©®™, and I can’t say it is missed. Dominic West as vain goombah Billy Russoti is hilariously extreme in his foghorning Bronxness; so focused in his accent is his bombastic hammery that his lips seem a separate entity entirely. This, uh, interesting acting choice is soon explained when his face gets gorily mangled and he is reborn as Jigsaw©®™ . Wearing a big false head proves no impediment to a performance of such, er, force. Everybody else kind of fades into the background, mostly because they haven’t much to do, and also because giving them a name from an issue from the comic is as far as characterisation goes. But, again, it’s not On Golden Pond (1981) is it now? Essentially 99.9% of the cast exist to get killed. There’s an Urban Freeflow gang, for example, who exist purely so that Frank can shoot one of them in mid-air with a rocket launcher. Again, appropriate enough stuff for a Punisher©®™ movie.

Ray Stevenson gets top billing as everyone’s favourite homicidal loon, and he is very good value as The Punisher©®™ when The Punisher©®™  is cutting through hoods like a hunting knife through unset jelly. There’s a real sense of the implacable to his murderous movements.  He’s less successful, however, when Frank has to emote.  It’s not so much Ray Stevenson’s acting that’s the issue, there’s nothing wrong with his emoting; it’s the fact emoting is called for at all. Literally nobody who wants to see a Punisher©®™ movie wants to see The Punisher©®™ bond with a small child, certainly not to the extent that he does a little wave back at her with his wee handy pandy hesitantly raised. Literally everybody who wants to see a Punisher©®™ movie wants to see The Punisher©®™ nonchalantly shoot a hood’s face right off as a cop is reading him his rights. Both these things exist in Punisher: War Zone©®™. But only one should. As a Punisher©®™ movie Punisher: War Zone©®™ is sporadically successful, and as an action movie it’s okay if you want to bond with your teenage son. Ultimately though, as entertainment, it’s creakily obsolescent in a post-John Wick world. But then so much action cinema is.

[westcoastbroadway1443]

Be More Notes: my very long ramblings on BMC as I finally listen to the whole thing

Ok!  I’m finally doing it!  Now that the cast album is out I’m going to really give all of Be More Chill a listen, try to put the things that annoy me about the show aside, and give it a fair chance.  And have decided to do running commentary here for the nobody who gives a shit lol.  Going in I wanna say I’ve heard 4 full songs and random bits of other songs from the original soundtrack.  And I’ll be listening now to the OBC album plus watching a b**tlg, I’m not totally sure when it took place I just know Will Roland is in it so at the very least New York.  Keep in mind whatever I think of this show, if I end up hating it, if you like it you’re right.  My opinion in no way invalidated anybody else’s or is above anyone else’s in my eyes, frankly I don’t enjoy not liking things, it just means I don’t get to come to the party and that’s not fun.  So I might be poking fun at the show sometimes but if this speaks to you, that is fucking awesome!  Also I’m old now and I guess no longer the target audience for stuff like this.  

Spoilers for those who haven’t watched the show and don’t want to know stage stuff because I’ll be commenting on that.  This ended up being really long, eh.  

More Than Survive -ok this song I’ve heard before, and it both turned me off the show and also made me respect the hell out of it, because much like I give a salute to Black Mirror having the balls to make pig sex their pilot, I salute a musical that starts with jerking off -So far like Roland a little more than the previous guy.  From what I’ve gathered from clips, while that dude is hella talented and cute as a button I kind of buy Roland as a terrified, desperate, frustrated high school kid more   -Man I really do dig the hell out of the score and there is no denying this is catchy but some of these lyrics are so cringe -WHY IS A TEEN IN 2019 REFERENCING JOE PESCI?! -Ok I love the idea of a short bully calling somebody “tall ass” -I do like Jeremy’s body language better in this one. Also does he vocally remind anyone else of Max from Goofy Movie?  Maybe this song just reminds me  of “After Today” for no reason. -“super pimp” “mac daddy game”....OK!  I’m going to try not to list every time I cringe.  I just have questions -You don’t  want to be Clooney...high school child in 2019 is Clooney really your reference for cool?  Sorry I just struggle with this stuff because I keep hearing how this show is so in touch with kids these days but I just see:

-lol Michael came on and people went apseshit in the audience.  All my nitpicks aside I bet this room probably has some great energy. -..Michael the clerk at 7/11 doesn’t pour your slushie, it’s self serve.  Are you trying to seem cool to Jeremy right now? -Aah the boyfriend backpacks.  I know of this ship -Yeah Christine brings the flutes!!!  I was a flute player, we never get love -HAHA when Christine is doing her weird ass dance, in the recording I’m watching somebody right in front of the person recording just went “I don’t get this show”.  Like me too darlin, but you got 2 hours left so suck it up -Oh but sir, check the playbill.  The story is indeed about you -in summation this song kind of encapsulates everything I feel about this show, good performances and catchy as fuck and musically interesting and a lot of me asking “why”.

Play Rehearsal   -Well Christine is adorable -wow wait what?  wtf was that weird self harm comment???  Are we just gonna skip that??? -Ok I was a band kid in HS so I guess I don’t get this level of extra.  Band rehearsal is just tuning and then fucking around until somebody makes you play Bach -...is Christine ok??? -Ok I think at least for now I may hate her.  But I like that Jeremy likes her, likes her passion and such.  I approve of her conceptually!  I just don’t wanna be around her -I thought play rehearsal was gay, Rich?!  WHAT YOU DOIN AT PLAY REHEARSAL RICH?! -...I mean I’ve seen Romeo and Juliet as a zombie wasteland movie, I would watch Midsummer zombies

More Than Survive Reprise -”least I didn’t have a breakdown and have to go the nurse” Ok fair, I can relate to that high school experience -this set is kind of working for me, basic but fun and the floor is neat -I know high school bullies are a thing I guess? But I always just saw them in movies?  Now Middle School bullies were legit and terrible and I got the shit kicked out of me, but by HS I feel like everybody was too into their own shit to care much about anyone else??  Maybe that was just my school -Will Roland’s body language is real good in this show

The Squip Song -Oh!  Surprise Rich lisp. Creative way to show how this thing alters you -..ok now we know about Rich’s dick size.  I mean hon your short, maybe your penis is just proportionate?   -DO I DETECT SOME THEREMIN IN THIS ORCHESTRATION?!   Gimme all the theremin!   -Ok so the squip made him be an asshole?  Does he secretly want to be buddies with Jeremy? -Ok what the fuck are the people in the background doing here?!? -I know people ship Michael and Jeremy but I feel like Rich kinda wants to jump that tall ass??

Two Player Game -Ok the little sign for the game that came up was cute -These guys are kinda cute, even if I wish they’d tone down Michael’s “I’M QUIRKY!!  YOU GET IT?!?” shtick -That is accurate!  Y’all will be cool in college and I don’t see that brought up often -This is the first time I’ve found the choreography fun   -...why is this dad allergic to pants?? -ah.  Depression=no pants.  And now I get why Jeremy’s so desperate not to stay as he is.  Well points for making it not just about the girl -awww Michael is his bae -bro I’ve heard Loser Geek Whatever, you’re tellin lies right now to your buddy -LOL!  WTF IS THIS WINDOWS SCREENSAVER OF A VIDEO GAME?!? -oh wow dancin went off the rails here at the end

Squip Enters -Mountain Dew?  Well, better than Surge I guess.   -Ok the Ecto Cooler line legit made me laugh.  And I guess I could come down on the show for making Michael psyched about a drink that came out before he was born, but I have a pretty intense Crystal Pepsi obsession and that shit came out when I was maybe 4?  So I get it Michael, you go enjoy your liquid ghosts -well that squip thing doesn’t look fun -Oooooh Ok Keanu is like factory setting, alright I’ll accept this.  Though I will say this show would be 35% better if he was dressed like Keanu from Bill and Ted

Be More Chill Prt 1 -Hey stop shitting on Jeremy.  I think I kinda like him -wow Keanu, I didn’t think you’d be so mean -I mean everyone chanting “everything about you sucks” is just how peeps with anxiety feel constantly.  Eminem shirt ain’t gonna fix that -”Jerry-me” ok Will Roland is kind of making this work for me.   -Him repeating everything the squip said is a fun little sequence.  Like I dig this conceptually, scifi musicals are rare and can be neat - Lol the hate who they hate thing is pretty accurate

Do You Wanna Ride? -hey Jeremy what about Christiiiiine

Be More Chill Part 2 -the beginning of this song broke me a little.  Hey!  I’m feelin a thing! -this song is pretty fun!  It works!   -though the cast of like 10 people that just keep putting on different wigs make it feel like a high school play or a starkid production

Sync Up -ok so now I know I’m watching previews?  Because sync up isn’t here -I do think this song is a really good addition.  I mean it’s not like a stand out fantastic song but it does a good job getting across the themes and drives home the whole “everybody has problems” thing too which I like -Ok..dairy line was weird.  

A Guy I Could Kinda Be Into -Ok the weird girl fighting stuff about Jake is unpleasant and sort of unnecessary -a squip gives you a deep voice and the ability to kinda do accents.  Cool -ooo this is catchy, this is gonna make the spotify playlist -the goofy background hearts are cute.  I still don’t know why she’s into Jake or why she’s friends with Jeremy or if they should be together since legit the only thing she thinks they have in common is theater which he doesn’t care about..but this song is still cute -lol squips understand friend zone

Upgrade -DID THIS SHOW JUST KILL EMINEM?! -How did the squip know that?!  Does Eminem have a squip??  I mean it kinda makes sense.. -Don’t you see Jerbear?! The key to popularity is in this girl’s vagina!  Happy they cut the “I’ll tenderly guide you just take me inside you” thing, little creepy -Why did Jake make a kicking motion to illustrate cricket?  I’m like 85% sure Jake doesn’t know what cricket is... -the “feel all the feels” like is a little goofy but I really like the rewrite for this song, showing some depth of character.  Good job, show!  And I’m seeing some chemistry between these two, but I don’t know if I’m meant to? -Oh no!  The whole “you looked at me” thing from Brooke was so sweet and sad.  And the player two thing.  Yeah this OG version of this song can go fuck off, the rewrite is a really good tune.  I’ll admit the original maybe built up the horror a little, the squip sounds more threatening coming in at the end but I like where there going making this about everyone and not just Jeremy

Loser Geek Whatever -Squip blocked Michael??  You’re a dick, Keanu Reeves -I didn’t love this song when I first heard the single but hearing the version on the album and the stripped down piano version, I really really like it.  Gives me some of those old geek feels from back in the day -sort of surprise by how little is happening on stage though?  I sort of assumed something was happening as the song built?  But nope, just Will rocking his wee heart out -LOL!  What is Squip’s new outfit???

Halloween -Ah, it’s this show Big Fun.  This is a lot catchier than Big Fun though -I went to exactly one of these kinds of parties in HS, just replace Halloween with punks after a rock show and add a lot more drugs.  I didn’t hide in a bathroom but I did hide next to the stairs until my mom came and got me.  Memories!!  You know what this show is succeeding I suppose, it’s making me have HS feels -...is Jake dressed as Thomas Jefferson? -Jenna you’re too cute for that costume.  You should get to wear something sexy too!  Unless you just dig clowns in which case enjoy yourself hon -Ooooooh Prince, I get it -this is not this show’s fault at all but I struggle with dancing in shows.  I mean the title of my blog is The Girl Who Used to Hate Musicals because I did, and while I love them now extended dancing sequences still take me out of a show real fast.  I know I’m in the minority here -...what the fuck is that weird fuzzy thing with the big teeth -Hot damn!  Go Rich!  Dancin fool

Do You Wanna Hang? -I don’t like any part of this plot line... -Ok!  Didn’t realized she was dressed like a “sexy baby” so the diaper line sort of horrified me.  I mean it still does!  I just understand it now

Michael in the Bathroom -hey the bathtub!  Ok I know enough to know what happens now -Jeremy why you gotta be so mean -I mean what is there to say, great song.  I wondered if they’d change anything for the new recording and I dig the arrangement, especially the stripped down acoustic guitar and piano parts!! Also as a lady who maybe once or twice since discovering this song has gotten tipsy and sung it karaoke-like, appreciate the slower and the higher.  It’s not a lot, just a bit, but makes it less of a struggle to match.  Thanks bro!

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Reprise) -Finally!  They’re both giant doofs but I see some connection!  And I mean my roommate and I have noises we always make at each other like a call and response, so I gets it -He asked it!  So proud.  Rejected but proud of the boy, and rejected for good reasons

The Smartphone Hour -Heard part of this song before.  Really like this Jenna more than original Jenna, her performance was a little much for me -This is one of those songs where I really do feel like I’m watching a HS original production..but a good one?  Maybe cause I haven’t seen something like this on Broadway, but that’s a good thing.  Always good to see new kinds of things on Broadway -lol what is the middle of this song?!  I feel like I’m suddenly watching a cheer squad or like a John Waters inspired musical, which from what little I know of Joe Iconis I think he’d be cool with that comparison

The Pants Song -Jeremy don’t be mean to your dad! -Yipes is this the Break in a Glove or Dead Gay Son of BMC?? -....yeah it totally is -”Do you love him??” Has Jeremy’s dad finally given up on finding a girl in Jeremy’s room? -Ok ok I’m gettin the ship

The Pitiful Children -So squip just looks like this now, I thought maybe he was just being fancy for Halloween -Hot damn Jenna!  Why were we savin that voice?! -I feel like I’m missing something with these weird hand motions the squip is always, do they actually mean something? -goosestepping...alright.  Oh no Jeremy did the hand motions, I think that means a thing

The Play -Jeremy is being so creepy but he means well?  I guess?   -lol using the play to spread the squips is pretty clever -wtf red mountain dew?  Really?  You know what fuck it, discontinued drinks for the win.  Maybe my saved bottles of Crystal Pepsi will stop an apocalypse one day! -Michael’s entrance was cute, and hey he just happens to have code red.  I wish ecto cooler was what shut it off. -The glitching voice is crazy when Jeremy is fighting Michael and I love the way Jeremy is sort of bobbing up and down in fighting stance like a video game character,  Fun touch -squip is making Jeremy go all Idle Hands! -I prefer the recording version of the guys making up, the whole “I just wanted to be liked” “I just wanted to be seen” thing -the squip has to be so extra even in death

Voices in My Head -hey lispy Rich is back!  And bi now I guess? -Oh is that why people think Michael/Jeremy are a thing?  The squip blocked Rich’s bi thoughts from him and it blocked Michael from Jeremy’s vision?  I mean it would be an interesting story, I’d take it. -This might be my favorite song and I don’t really know why, I don’t super love that Jeremy still gets Christine in the end but I just love how this song sounds -I’ve never heard a character wearing pants get an applause? -improved lyrics in the Broadway version, and since it got more into the popular kids as people you can kinda see why they’d still stay friend with Jeremy -”I’ll throw you a rope home slice if you need some dope advice” like is this parody?  What is this??  Well..still my fav song despite this line.  A line they liked so much it’s the one original popular kid line they kept in the new version??? -don’t know if I see much future for these two, but Jeremy’s reaction to the kiss was cute -”Of the voices in my head the loudest one is mine” is my favorite line of the show -lol Rich’s little sneak hug.  I feel like Rich always wanted to be friends with Jeremy?  Or had a crush on him and that’s why his squip made him beat Jeremy up?  Is this pairing a thing?

Final thoughts:  This was so stupid long, nobody read this but that’s ok!  It was fun to take notes anyway.  Listening to it all, I liked it more than I thought I would, especially with the lyric changes.  I don’t know if I would like it as much if it wasn’t Will Roland, the dude just really made this character likable when he could very easily not be.  Some of the lines still bug me, there’s still a lot of cringe here but there’s also a lot of good stuff.  This show introduced me to Joe Iconis and I’m slowly falling in love with him from his other work and CANNOT WAIT for Broadway Bounty Hunter because that sounds so like my jam.  Overall I do get why people like this show, especially younger people because you can relate to the characters but maybe you want something a little peppier than DEH.   I don’t think this is a soundtrack I’m going to ever listen to all the way through, but I’m for sure grabbing a handful of songs and sticking them on my musical play list.  And when this thing goes on tour and ends up in LA, I think it would probably be worth checking out if I can, looks like a fun watch.  Though with all the young fans and internet fans if they’re smart they’re gonna record this bitch.

[faejilly]

i am for you (7/?)

holy shit you guys, it’s Friday? When did that happen. Like. I finished and then almost forgot to post. It’s been. idk. a week. the working title of this chapter was “my fic needs more ladies” and is also a return to epistolary. (hopefully second-hand brunch is still entertaining. I love Cat.) 

series tag / ao3

[cat]: you two have the worst timing

[dot]: what? are you? IT'S TOO EARLY

[tessa]: why are you yelling at us? Shouldn't you be on your way to brunch?

[cat]: I need reinforcements! Company!

[tessa]: well you can talk to the ALA about their conference schedules then, not us

[cat]: but some sanity would be nice

[dot]: are the boys being especially *boys* at you?

[cat]: yes [cat]: also Magnus is overly infatuated with someone, even for him [cat]: and he only met the guy last night! Sort of? I think [cat]: I'm freaking out, but Ragnor is being very calm about it all, which is weird and not helping

[tessa]: Ragnor's always been a hopeless romantic, of course he's happy for Magnus.

[cat]: but he USUALLY thinks Magnus has terrible taste and no self-preservation instinct

[dot]: I am almost personally offended by that first part considering how I met the rest of you, but he's not wrong on that second part so I suppose I'll let it be

[cat]: Magnus was so nervous I went with him to get a mani/pedi to help him calm down and he was practically vibrating in his chair, they had the hardest time getting his nails finished.

[tessa]: Magnus was nervous before he met the guy? That's... unusual.

[cat]: they'd been chatting via email, and it was their first in person thing. I have no idea what I should expect, or what I should say at brunch [cat]: because I'm going to have to ask, right?

[tessa]: you won't have to ask, you'll know how it went as soon as you see him

[cat]: you would think that, but Raphael's already preparing to murder the guy just in case, and Ragnor's being *mysterious* and I need back-up and you two are in the wrong time zone

[tessa]: sorry?

[cat]: are you though?

[dot]: I am, I want to watch! It will either be horrifyingly entertaining, or it'll be actual good news and Magnus being happy

[tessa]: which is always nice to see

[cat]: maybe I'll bring some extra asti. Either for celebrating or commiserating?

[dot]: now I really wish I was there

[tessa]: so do I. Keep us updated.

[dot]: take pictures! Lots of pictures.

*** ***

[cat]: I hope they get married [cat]: possibly tomorrow [cat]: no wait, we have to wait for you to get back [cat]: next weekend?

[dot]: wtf cat

[tessa]: kl;'/.

[dot]: I'll have you know Tessa just choked on her tea and is a really improbable shade of red right now

[cat]: sorry [cat]: not about that, but I don't have any pictures [cat]: Magnus' boy was embarrassed enough when we got there because they'd clearly lost track of time and he had to find his shirt after we walked in and he blushed half way down his chest

[dot]: oh my 😅 [dot]: where was his shirt?

[cat]: half off the footstool by the couch, pretty sure it got thrown over someone's shoulder last night

[dot]: did Magnus look sad when he put it back on?

[cat]: I was too sad when he put it back on to tell

[dot]: Tessa just choked again. I think you broke her. She doesn't know how to drink anymore.

[cat]: Raphael responded to the shirt fiasco via That Glare™

[dot]: I am so glad I don't get That Glare™ anymore

[cat]: I could tell he was thinking this guy was just using Magnus for a good time last night and trying to decide how thoroughly to murder him. [cat]: But the boy glared back, and I think they had some sort of secret conversation via scowling eyebrows and rolled eyes? Because afterwards they were perfectly civil to each other.

[dot]: what. how.

[tessa]: stop I can't breathe

[dot]: don't stop I wanna see if she turns any other silly colors

[cat]: oh, I can't stop. I am nowhere near being able to stop

[dot]: yay!

[cat]: Ragnor said "it was nice to see him again" and didn't tease him about the shirt thing and actually engaged in small talk about someone they both knew for like five minutes

[tessa]: Ragnor can be nice for Magnus' sake. Occasionally. With a little prodding.

[cat]: He did it on his own! He started the conversation!

[tessa]: no

[cat]: apparently a friend of Alec's (that's the boy, sorry, I am going all out of order aren't I? Magnus calls him *Alexander* but he introduced himself to us as Alec so I'm pretty sure no one else is ever going to get to call him that) [cat]: where was I?

[dot]: I have no idea but don't ever stop

[tessa]: there's a panel starting in fifteen minutes so you'll have to stop eventually but not quite yet

[dot]: whatever, this is better than a panel

[tessa]: not when I'm IN IT

[dot]: I suppose?

[tessa]: not all of us are just here for the shopping and networking

[cat]: ANYWAY [cat]: Friend! Of Alec's! Who apparently needed a leave of absence for a semester but she was past the cut-off date and Alec was personally going to all her professors to get exceptions for her? And Ragnor helped? So he was asking Alec how she was doing now. He remembered her name and everything, he didn't just go by her hair color or a paper she wrote, he used her NAME. Bri? Brand—no. Something with a B at least.

[tessa]: sounds like the friend's pretty remarkable too if Ragnor remembered them both

[cat]: and he's apparently hired Alec for the summer work-study the Classics department does FOUR YEARS IN A ROW, even though he's not even an undergrad anymore so Ragnor had to fill out extra paperwork FROM THE DEAN'S OFFICE

[tessa]: Ragnor voluntarily subjected himself to more Aldertree? Isn't the summer program mostly for putting a student between him and the Dean so he has *less* Aldertree?

[dot]: I know you're generally very honest, and if for some reason you aren't, you're a better liar than this [dot]: but I'm still having trouble believing you

[cat]: I was there and I almost don't believe me

[tessa]: So Ragnor already liked him. And has known him for over four years. At some point Magnus is going to be very upset that he never introduced them.

[cat]: Magnus started to do that wide-eyed hiss thing that he does right before he verbally eviscerates you, you know the thing

[dot]: ouch.

[tessa]: How much blood was shed?

[cat]: None. [cat]: Alec leaned in and said something stupidly sappy like, *but we've met now* and Magnus just... smiled and leaned against his shoulder? That was it.

[dot]: he's a Magnus-Whisperer!

[tessa]: how much did you all drink for Magnus to be that relaxed at a meet-the-boyfriend thing?

[cat]: not a drop. We were all too busy being shocked to even open anything

[dot]: but. Brunch! Mimosas!

[cat]: Gorgeous boy over six feet tall who blushes!

[tessa]: wow [tessa]: I am really really sad about the lack of pictures now. Not as sad as Dot, but still sad

[cat]: And then! He left before we did because he had to go home and change before a thing at a bookstore this afternoon [cat]: like a volunteering thing, not even getting paid, he's just *helping*

[dot]: which bookstore?

[cat]: uh. The one with the name that's actually some names rather than a book pun of some sort, makes it sound all classy? Starts with ffff... fuck it I can't remember.

[dot]: Fray & Garroway? That makes sense... they hire a lot of short-term students and have like twenty children who all show up at events

[cat]: Magnus did mention something about an improbable number of siblings

[dot]: probably one of them, then

[tessa]: how do you know so much about a random bookstore?

[dot]: Elliot used to go to estate sales with Jocelyn Fray before she died. [dot]: He's got a couple pictures of them in his office, grinning over some find or another. He said she had a knack, you know? Always spotted the best stuff. She was mostly going for stuff for herself or fixtures rather than stuff to sell, but they clearly had a good time hunting together. [dot]: He still refers people over there if they're looking for books beyond what we've currently got in stock, or if they're fine with later editions, since we usually just keep firsts or seconds. Luke sends people our way periodically too.

[tessa]: Jocelyn, I haven't thought about her in ages, that must have been what, over ten years ago?

[dot]: must be. Hell, her daughter Clary's probably old enough to drink now. That's a weird thought.

[tessa]: because we're so ancient in comparison? 🙄 [tessa]: regardless, I do have to get going, and put my phone in silent. Don't go too crazy without me

[dot]: too late!

[cat]: nah, I think that's most of it [cat]: for now, at least. I cannot wait until you two meet him next week

[dot]: if you think I'm going to wait until next week to find out more you do not know me as well as I thought you did

[cat]: good luck 😉

[dot]: I don't need luck, kitty cat, you know that

[cat]: you're much more impetuously curious than I am, why am I the kitty cat?

[dot]: you have a much nicer purr?

[cat]: you are ridiculous

[dot]: and proud of it. If you find anything else out, do let us know.

[cat]: I think I'm afraid of what you'd do with it... you could always try Ragnor?

[dot]: you know that's useless, he enjoys knowing shit no one else does WAY too much to share [dot]: he's going to be lording his Alec knowledge over us for ages

[cat]: not too long. He enjoys sharing exasperated looks about Magnus even more

[dot]: ha. True. [dot]: But that won't help me before I get back

[cat]: you're back TOMORROW

[dot]: late tomorrow! That's two whole days! At least!

[cat]: you're exhausting

[dot]: 😘

[cat]: well it's not like I could slow you down, much less stop you. Have fun investigating?

[dot]: will do.