#and feeling guilty or stupid for literally being a person with emotions

[gregmarriage]

having my ‘normal’ be constant dizzy spells and motion sickness and mobility issues that range from moderate to severe, and then being gaslighted into thinking that’s actually normal. like, everybody experiences that, when i know they don’t. because i’ve experienced having a normal body and after nearly four years with a non normal one, i’d like to say: this shit fucking sucks

[widevibratobitch]

.

[shalscumbunny]

For what reasons would members of the Gen'ei Ryodan impregnate their S/O?

TW: Mentions of forced relationship, forced pregnancy, gestation, breeding kink, body changes, parenthood, children, possible threat to children

Phinks:

It is the type of couple that is extremely overprotective, at the same time that it is extremely dominant, there is no better way of dominance than to impregnate your beloved, leave her plump and unable to do anything, so that she does not do anything stupid, nothing bad happens to her and there is no doubt that he is your absolute owner because you are carrying HIS child, and the idea of fucking you pregnant isn't something he's going to refuse either, he likes the idea, I'll just say that and of course he will love his child, I feel that he is the type of man to whom being a father comes naturally.

Feitan:

I don't feel that Feitan understands that concept of "family" and "parenting" and he doesn't care much either and if you're not very interested in the subject, pregnacy is not something that is going to happen, BUT, if we go to his sickest and most twisted side, especially the sadistic one and mixing it with a yandere or quite sick theme, if he sees that the idea of getting pregnant from him terrifies you as he is your captor, he is going to impregnate you with desire and on purpose, just to fuck you, torture you and well, in the process he will mark territory, by fucking you he will torture with the idea, if he achieves his goal now he only has the same thing left, making you feel bad, making you feel guilty, but he will probably still take care of you since in the end you are valuable to him.

Uvogin:

He barely fell in love with you, he knew that you were going to be the mother of his 78 children, Uvogin is the stereotype of a man who wants to get you pregnant 24/7, it won't even be two months after you have given birth before you are already pregnant again, he simply likes it because it is a way to keep you by his side, dominate you and take ownership of you. He has a fairly activated reproductive instinct due to his barbaric and somewhat animal nature. He's excited about getting you pregnant, he's excited about having you pregnant, he's excited about being able to fuck you when you're swollen with his babies. Added to that he may be a horrible person, a thief, a murderer and many other things, but it comes naturally to him to be a father, he loves his children, all of them.

Nobunaga:

The truth is that I feel that Nobunaga is one of these characters with the authentic desire to one day have children, he likes the idea of ​​raising little swordsmen who run from one place to another simulating an epic and legendary duel and there is no better way to join the love of your life than forming a family (That's what he thinks) It doesn't matter much if you agree, it will still happen.

He is going to get you pregnant, he is going to take care of you and he will do everything humanly possible to be with you, of course I also emphasize that probably doing it with you even if you are pregnant, it is quite exciting for him.

Franklin:

I wouldn't know how to interpret him very well in fact, I feel that he is not someone who is dying to be a father but he also does not hate the idea and if you ask him he will listen to you, he will take great care of you and his little ones. (I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT FRANKLIN, FORGIVE ME FRANKLIN FANS!)

Illumi:

The same as with Uvogin, but somewhat different. He would say that he has a fairly marked kink breeding because in his family he has seen it as common and necessary to have many children (he literally has 4 siblings). When he fell in love with you the next thing in his brain was to imagine the family he would have with you as soon as possible. Once you are together (Whether by marriage or kidnapping) Illumi will probably have locked himself in the room with you until he makes sure that you are pregnant, Illumi never shows his emotions, but when he is fucking you and has you tightly grabbed, his body trembles of the emotion and excitement of being able to get you pregnant. Once you are very pregnant and swollen, he won't stop fucking you either (As long as your child is safe), he can simply become more obsessed with you now that you are carrying his baby. If everything goes well, I estimate at least 7 pregnancies, furthermore, all these pregnancies are going to be followed, as soon as you give birth, it will be a matter of time before he impregnates you again.

Hisoka:

I don't find any logical reason, he likes the idea of ​​having a partner, but not forming a "family." The only reason I can find is that in his moments of madness and revenge.

Especially if he has already left the Gen'ei Ryodan and wants revenge, if you are a partner of one of them, he will impregnate you with hatred and desire but only for revenge.

Shalnark:

I think we have already talked about this in this profile multiple times but we will do it again.

Shalnark doesn't want kids, he hates kids, he hates kids grabbing his things, he hates not being the focus of your attention and everything related to pregnancy and having kids.

BUT

It is an idea that he can consider in the same way, if he consider that you have problems in the relationship, he will consider an alternative to soften you and tie you down.

In other situation, if you mention it to him, obviously you have to beg him if you are the one who wants to have children, but if you are convincing, you will have your child.

But Shalnark is cruel and twisted in nature, I don't think he is someone who loves his children in a paternal way, he probably sees them as a pet and will appreciate them (Also as something to blackmail and threaten you with).

Chrollo:

Chrollo is a being of curious, selfish and greedy nature, a being rejected by the world. I think he has that desire to form a family and ABOVE ALL, have a child, it is something that will finally be authentically HIS.

It's not that he KILLS to get you pregnant or it's a mortal necessity (Like Uvogin to Illumi) but it's a recurring thought.

It doesn't matter if you agree or not, he's still going to get you pregnant when he can. He is going to push hard into your pussy and he is going to cling to your body telling you how beautiful mother you are going to be and how he is not going to stop until you are all swollen and pretty, that you will be his queen and that he will do everything for you.

Simply love your pregnancy, love hugging your belly, talking to it and planting soft kisses on it.

Thanks for reading this shit 🤍

[dummiprxncess]

Living with BPD Living with BPD feels like being stuck in a never-ending emotional storm that I can’t control. One minute, everything seems okay, and the next, it’s like my whole world is crashing down around me, and I have no idea why. It’s like there’s no middle ground—I’m either feeling everything so intensely that I can’t handle it, or I’m completely numb, just trying to get through the day. Relationships are so freaking hard. I want to be close to people, to have friends and feel like I belong, but it’s like my brain won’t let me. I’m always scared that they’ll leave me, that I’ll say something wrong or do something stupid, and they’ll decide I’m not worth it. So, sometimes I push them away first, just to protect myself from getting hurt, even though that’s the opposite of what I actually want. It’s like I’m sabotaging my own happiness, and I hate myself for it, but I don’t know how to stop. And the self-hate? It’s brutal. I can’t even look in the mirror without picking myself apart, mentally listing all the reasons why I’m not good enough. It’s like this voice in my head that never shuts up, constantly reminding me that I’m broken, that I’m not worth anyone’s time. No matter how hard I try to be positive or listen when people tell me they care, it’s like I can’t believe them. I just keep thinking, “If they really knew me, they’d leave too.” I overthink everything. Like, literally everything. I replay conversations in my head, wondering if I said the wrong thing, if I came off too clingy or too distant. It’s exhausting, always second-guessing myself and feeling like I’m messing everything up. And when something does go wrong, I blame myself completely, even if it wasn’t entirely my fault. I just feel like I’m always screwing things up, and I can’t seem to do anything right. The guilt is suffocating. I feel guilty for being like this, for not being able to just “get over it” or be normal. I hate that I’m so emotional, so needy, so afraid of being abandoned. I hate that I can’t just chill and let things be. Instead, I’m always worried, always on edge, always feeling like I’m a burden to everyone around me. And that makes it even harder to reach out when I need help because I don’t want to be “that person” who’s always dragging others down. Living with BPD feels like being on a roller coaster I never asked to ride. The highs can be great, but they never last, and the lows are so low that I can’t see a way out. It’s not just being sad—it’s like this deep, overwhelming despair that makes everything seem pointless. Even when things are going okay, there’s this constant anxiety in the back of my mind, like I’m just waiting for it all to fall apart. It’s hard to feel safe when my own brain is my biggest enemy, always telling me that disaster is just around the corner. I just want some peace, some stability, but it feels like that’s impossible. I’ve tried so many things—therapy, meds, self-care stuff—but nothing seems to really work for long. I keep hoping that maybe the next thing will help, that maybe I’ll finally find a way to manage all this chaos in my head. But honestly? It’s hard to hold onto that hope when everyday feels like a struggle just to get by. It’s hard to believe that things will ever really get better when it feels like I’ve been stuck in this cycle forever. I wish I could turn off my brain, even just for a little while. I wish I could stop feeling so much all the time, stop being so scared and anxious and guilty. I wish I could trust myself, trust others, and believe that everything’s going to be okay. But I don’t. All I can do is keep going, keep trying, even when it feels like I’m barely holding on. I want to believe that there’s a way out of this, that there’s a future where I’m not always fighting against myself. But right now, it’s hard to see that future. Right now, it just feels like I’m stuck in this storm, trying to survive.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for distancing myself from my partner?

I, (17NB) and my partner (17NB) had a rough year. Thier family is super religious, and so is the place we live in, and we've had many fears about being outed. My family is less religious and I mostly raise myself so admittedly he's a lot more paranoid, and rightfully so I'd say. But ever since we've started dating I've had to ask them multiple times to improve thier communication.

To start off, I wish they were upfront, or atleast more firm about us breaking up, atleast in the first year. That wouldve solved a lot of heartbreak if they didn't want to be with me.

They dodged the question of physical intimacy of literally anything more than holding hands or cuddling multiple times, and yet mentioned they were ace offhandedly to a friend instead of giving me a straight answer (which I wouldve been fine with, I just wish they told me.) They tend to get angry quite easily and resort to snappish/ short answers, and, especially since them having a conversation with thier mom questioning thier sexuality, tend to abhor the smallest inkling of physical contact or sign that we're together, even if we're around friends who know, or alone.

After the conversation with thier mom, they asked to break up, but i basically pleaded for another chance and they agreed. I know it's my own fault at some point for beating a dead horse, but I recently had a conversation that kind of snapped the rose-tinted glasses right off.

We were discussing our futures, and there's a somber agreement neither of us will see each other again after school. Thats not what I'm upset about. They described having kids in a hetero marriage and joking to thier kids about the "wild" stuff they got up to in highschool like experimenting in a queer relationship, basically saying our entire 3 years of dating was a fluke or joke or experiment.

I realised this was the straw that broke the camel's back, they didn't really initiate or seem as eager as me about the sparse times we could go out alone together, they gave me a half finished craft I had to sew myself while I gave a painting for valentine's day, and various examples of bad communication. They're a good friend, I'm not so sure about partner.

So, I'm kinda trying to stop this year. I stopped frantically calling in school and rearranging lessons to be with them, I didnt spam text or think about making any gifts so far, I asked to have a..spicy experience with a friend or two (that my partner agreed with me doing). In my head I guess I told myself that we might call ourselves partners but the word just lost its meaning for us both.

So far, it's okay. It hurts, because it seems more like we're just friends instead of dating, but I want to focus on myself and my studies to get out of our really conservative area. Still, I feel guilty and a little resentful. I know I should've just accepted breaking up, but we're kinda codependant. They and I both know we can't be without each other.

They love me so much, I know that. They've done so so much for me and dragged me out of a horrible place pretty much single-handedly, they're just not great at communicating or emotional maturity. Also, they seem to think queer people go to hell in some self-imposed notion of religious guilt, and when I express resentment towards religions that push homophobia on thier followers they seem weirdly defensive of it.

For context, I have BPD (my partner has, for a long time being my 'favourite person') and what I'm reluctant to call "severe" trauma but it's been described as that. I'm genuinly curious to know if this is a result of some upbringing-induced overreaction or if its okay to just kinda give up on my own relationship. Yes, I'm aware that the best thing would be to break up but I dont think I could ever leave them, for some stupid reason.

What are these acronyms?

[tangledbea]

Sorry if someone already asked this, but for all the fandom content about Rapunzel, I rarely see people delve into what the majority of her life was like, raised in a tower and believing Gothel to be her actual mother (and loving her). Do you have any headcanons on what her upbringing was like, and how it would affect her new role as princess (apart from stuff we see in the show like the barely touched on etiquette lessons)

Rapunzel has literally no idea how people or society work. She's never interacted with another human outside of Gothel until Eugene showed up, and she was raised to be afraid of all outsiders. However, her adventure in the movie showed her that most of the people in the outside world were on her side. Therefore, I think Rapunzel would swing too hard in the other direction and trust literally everyone blindly at first, until she learned a little bit of discernment. (And even then, she's the queen of second chances, and that part stays.)

Gothel also doted on her, to keep her complacent, and regularly told her how clever she was because of her insights into charting stars and figuring out sewing patterns, physics, etc (while simultaneously belittling it as nothing important). So now, Rapunzel feels extremely stupid when she doesn't understand something right away. She's supposed to be clever, so why can't she get it?

Gothel made Rapunzel feel like everything she did wrong was a big deal and was done on purpose to hurt her (Gothel), so now Rapunzel has a guilty conscience, and blames herself when thing go wrong.

Gothel played the "I love you, I love you more, I love you most," game, and always insisted on being the one who said "most," so now Rapunzel feels like people don't understand how much she loves and respects them, because obviously she's not being clear enough about the strength of her affections.

Gothel never wanted to see or hear Rapunzel's negative emotions (sadness, anger, etc), and so now when Rapunzel's upset, she needs to be alone to process it. She doesn't feel like she can display those emotions publicly, or else she'll be annoying those she's around.

Gothel wasn't around a lot of the time, and so Rapunzel gets overstimulated easily in big crowds. When this happens, she feels the need to hide away, and usually goes up as high into her room as she can, or out on the roof where the crowd and sound can't get to her.

And for quite a while after leaving the tower, Rapunzel has a sneaking suspicion that you can tell a bad person by how pointy their teeth are. Even though she knows it's not true, she falls back on old habits when drawing her feelings, and someone she's scared of in any capacity gets pointy teeth.

[lordarsonizzzzt]

Hey! I see requests are open so i thought id leave an ask. Idk id you would write this type of thing but how about Clef and other SCP doctors with a reader that ends up being their "work child" in a way

SCP STAFF WITH A 'WORK CHILD'

CHARACTERS: ALTO CLEF, CHARLES GEARS.

DR CLEF

✮ You were new, a junior researcher and rather young. Clef was going to give you a 'welcome' by causing a breach.

✮ But when you crossed him in the halls you were surprise that he had an ukelele? He was taken aback at first, then you started talking about how much you love music and he felt a little bad when he though about what he wanted to do.

✮ So he started being nice to you, which was weird to literally everyone else.

✮ He would search for you to show you the new hawaiian shirt he bought (stole) and would give you his old one.

✮ If you actually wear them he's going to be happy.

✮ He would be protective of you, but you don't need to know that. Some other researcher is flirting with you?? He will have a little talk with them.

✮ Would call you kiddo a lot, sometimes when talking to other people about you he may let a 'my kid' slip, he would instantly regret it.

✮ Kinda feels guilty because he wishes he could give 166 the same attention he gives you, he thinks you two would be the best siblings.

✮ Would never tell you about his past, but he will talk about Meri.

DR GEARS

⌛︎ HE SCREAMS DAD MATERIAL.

⌛︎ But absent dad if you don't work at the foundation.

⌛︎ You were kind of new and young, but very smart.

⌛︎ You were assigned to help Iceberg and Gears around, you two didn't talk too much, Iceberg did tho and god someone shut this asshole up.

⌛︎ You two started getting close when he saw you were a workaholic,, like him.

⌛︎ Specifically after one incident happened, you came into work and were sick, you had a high temperature and were sneezing and coughing every few seconds.

⌛︎ He was confused as to why would you come in when sick, Iceberg was making fun of you asking if you were stupid or something.

⌛︎ He made you some tea and told you you could leave at anytime, he would prefer have you off work for a week to have you sick for a month.

⌛︎ You stayed anyways and that's when his dad instincts kind off kicked in, he told you to follow him and led you to his in site room, telling you to rest.

⌛︎ He then would drive you to your home and do a little grocery shop, mainly soups and some ibuprofen.

⌛︎ He took care of you until you weren't sick anymore.

⌛︎ Since then he started seeing you as his child kind of, maybe more of someone he should take care of.

⌛︎ He is always going to tell you how proud he is off you, whatever you do or decide to do.

⌛︎ Not the best at emotions, so he would ask Iceberg to what to do if you feel bad because, i don't know, you had a bad breakup.

⌛︎ Iceberg would tell him to buy you candies and he would take care of that person, whatever he means with that.

⌛︎ If you manage to get Gears to see you as his child, then Iceberg is most likely going to be some parental figure too.

[mrntta]

When are mfs going to realize that literally these three are horrible people? I keep seeing comments on the og comic where they are trying to put the blame on one single person as if the three of them didn't make decitions that quite literally fucked everyone else.

On Undyne's part, the responsibility of being a queen was clearly way too out of her control, while YES, she wanted the best for everyone else, let's remember when Sans offered his plan of dismantling and re-fixing the CORE, and instead of trying to think coldly, she instantly went ax-crazy and tried to forcefully take his eye, showing that, while she was desperate, she has no control over her emotions, but unlike Sans, I actually feel bad for her since like I said, there were monster DUSTING FROM STARVATION, so of course she desperatly wanted to find a solution as soon as possible, although, she is now a full blown tyranical dictator by what she seems like in the future.

Alphys is probably the LEAST bad of them, as just like Undyne, she desperatly wanted to find a solution to fix the CORE, was choosing Sans eye as a solution in a "maybe" scenario was a good choice? certainly not, but fuck man, she had the entire weight of "saving the Underground" on her shoulders (plus her relationship with Undyne starting to crumble) and honestly, out of the three, she had the worst fate, wich honestly seems WAAAAYY too far for what she did.

Sans...whew, I love him, but he's undeniably a piece of shit, ESPECIALLY after the CORE incident. Wanting revenge for getting his eye forcefully ripped off is SLIGHTLY understandable, but lobotomizing Alphys, destroying the CORE, lying to people on Snowdin that Undyne ordered to eat the fallen humans, and manipulating his brother into eating human flesh without Papyru's knowledge were certainly a choice, and the worst is that he did all of that out of pure spite, like, damn, was dooming the entire underground worth it Sans? by the looks of it, it seems like it wasn't, and frankly, it feels bizarre whenever I see people trying to defend him or making atwork of him as a stupid dog who can't think of his own (reminder that he quite literally manipulated everyone in Snowdin and Papyrus into eating human flesh, there's a reason he never ate anything during 8 years, he is NOT dumb).

So basically, Undyne is a tyranical Queen, Sans is a control freak, and Alphys was just...impractical (bc imagine if Sans's eye didn't work out, she would have sacrificed his "friend" for nothing).

Anyway, sorry for the sudden rant lol, but I wanted to express myself out since I keep seeing people justifying one of them (Especially Sans) as if only one was guilty and the other two were innocent.

[boba-at-323]

Punisher

Note: So uh... kyuzu x therapy when? I literally wrote this after crying for nearly 2 hours|| No this is not smut || Yes I cannot come up with titles <3 || Please ignore any mistakes!

The autumn leaves turned brown and wilted to nothingness because summer had already bid its farewell. The sky painted itself grey when September wrapped up its role in the year. The air blew silent as well, as if too afraid to speak.

The small stone bridge you leaned against displayed in front of itself a small clear lake, covered by the fog which came with the seasons changing. The ducks and their ducklings, which usually inhabited the lake, had probably migrated to somewhere warm too. It seemed like the universe was mimicking the emotions you felt and hoped to escape.

You could hear Phoebe Bridgers singing Punisher through your earphones but her voice had faded into the background because you weren’t really listening to the song. The earphones were just an escape from reality, an attempt to loosen the knot you felt in your chest.

The tears brimming in your eyes went unnoticed by you and were soon rolling down your face ever-so-gently. A defeated sigh escaped your lips when you figured that your “try” to sort out your thoughts all by yourself had ended up being an even more tangled mess than before.

Why couldn’t everything just be fine for once?

In the middle of your numb thoughts, you felt someone’s sudden presence beside you. A hand shot up to quickly wipe away the stains the tears had left when they made their way down your face without your consent. You felt embarrassed as you thought of the awkwardness you might have planted between you and whoever the person was beside you. However, once you lifted your head to catch a glimpse of what the poor person looked like, a rush of heavy guilt ran down your whole body.  

“Hi”, the boy's voice came out silent.

“H-hi…” your voice followed even quieter. Once you paused the song which was playing, you felt that the silence which followed was loud enough to deafen anyone and the atmosphere heavy enough to crush a rock.

Renjun decided it wasn’t the best time to speak, you on the other hand felt too guilty to speak. He didn’t want to trigger you any further, and you felt stupid for letting him see you this way.

“I didn’t want to worry you…” you broke the silence with a quiet mutter, head hung and eyes never leaving the lake under the bridge, too afraid to meet his gaze.

He wasn’t looking at you though, he instead chose to look directly ahead at the same oblivion you were staring into before. Another period of silence took over.

“Are you mad at me?” you questioned unknowingly, chewing your lip as you awaited any reaction from him hoping your speculation was everything but right.  

“You know I can never be mad at you, right?” He said nonchalantly as if he hadn’t just walked on you amidst a mental breakdown.

“I’m sorry…” the whisper broke off before you could say anything further.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, my love.” Renjun’s hand reached out for yours which rested on the cold metal of the bridge’s railing, “If you want to talk, I’m listening…and if you don’t want to talk, we won’t. I’m right here with you.”

Something about how calm and reassuring his words sounded in the moment made you want to burst into tears right at the spot. Your feelings were rootless, and you hated how these random, unpleasant emotions took over the best of you even on the days when everything seemed to be going fine. The victims of your annoyed state were usually your family, who would in return snap at you, leaving you even more miserable. It seemed like this cycle of never-ending negative emotions was never going to meet its end, pushing you further into self-hatred.

But the only ray of light in all this darkness had been Renjun; an angel sent from heaven to save you from the misery you were in, or at least make it more bearable. Since the day he entered your life, he showed you the colours of the world and ever since you started dating, he proved to be the most wonderful boyfriend anyone could have ever dreamed of. His presence played a great role in your life, helping you stay sane and making you look forward to all the days you got to spend with him.

Without a thought, you threw your arms around him, burying yourself in his comforting embrace. Renjun’s hug felt like a warm beverage on a night when the grounds were covered with heavy snow. He smelt like lavenders which had just showered in the rain and now danced in the warm sunlight. He always calmed your senses, giving you hope that everything would be all right as long as he was there for you, by your side, holding you just like this.

He held you tight, secretly wishing he was helping you feel better even by the slightest of his actions. Seeing you in pain was the worst of feelings he had ever felt, oh how he would do anything just to see that beautiful smile on your face again and know that he was the reason behind it. But for now, a hug would do.

“Feel any better?” his calm voice blessed your ears again, and you nodded against his chest in reply.

“Good.” His hand tangled itself into your hair, gently combing through it.

It was a nice feeling. Your eyes fluttered close as your mind tried to focus on everything he was doing at the moment. From his touch to his voice, you wanted to capture everything just as it was, so that on days when he wasn’t there with you, these memories would help you find peace.

“Thank you…” you whispered against his chest, still not moving a single muscle.

“No need, I’m glad I could help.” Renjun smiled to himself.

September might have been a cruel month, but having Renjun by your side made even the unkindest of times the best ones.

Title : Punisher || Word count: 1k || Genre: Angst, Comfort, somewhat fluff || Pairing: bf! Renjun x implied Fem!Reader

Tagging : @armysantiny @mosviqu @jaehunnyy @riikiblr

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

The Cullens as song's // HC

Song's I think the Cullens would be, based off of their personalities and their backstories. I couldn't find a song to fit Emmett, I've been searching for the last hour :/ Sorry to all Emmett lovers, he shall not be in this little HC. I hope you enjoy reading the rest though, please do let me know what you think the Cullen's would be as songs <3

MASTERLIST CULLENS

Rosalie - Black Dahlia // Hollywood Undead

I think this song fits Rose the best because of everything she went through prior to being turned.

Like the apparent love of her life, future husband, using and manipulating her ??

He took everything from her, let others do things to her.

He's a lil bitch :)

The lyrics "and I've been abused, I feel so used because of you."

"The future that we both drew and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew."

Really sound's like something Edward would hear Rose think to herself whenever he would listen to her thoughts.

Her revenge was worth it though, she finally got to take something from him, like he had done to her.

"You just lay without a sound, seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest."

Major 'Lol I killed my stupid husband' vibes

Edward - Parasite Eve // Bring Me The Horizon

Okay not to be one of those people, but considering Eddie boy over here was around during the Spanish influenza and almost dying from it; I kinda found this song fitting ??

'Parasite Eve' is about Covid, and both illnesses are similar; too similar in fact.

The lyrics "I've got a fever, don't breathe on me." and "Leave your flowers and grieve." Really scream Edward for me ??

We were all scared of big man Covid but imagine how terrified he must've been when he had the Spanish influenza.

Like he's just vibing one minute and then, boom, he's literally lying on his death bed.

Edward would probably really relate to this song, even if he's into classical; 'Parasite Eve' would be an exception.

Jasper - Forest // Twenty One Pilots

Okay, I know what you're thinking but hear me out.

Lyrics "I don't know why I feed on emotion, there's a stomach inside my brain."

Signifies Jasper's gift of empathy and control of emotions.

"My brain has given up, white flags are hoisted."

White Flags were used during the Civil War to end it, a way to show they have surrendered.

Not only does those lyrics signify the Civil War, it could also be a metaphor for Jasper; he's given up that part of his life.

He doesn't want to let it corrupt him any further because he's guilty for playing a part in taking so many lives.

So, in turn, he's put up white flags to surrender and hope to start over; become a better person, vampire.

Alice - Can You Feel My Heart // Bring Me The Horizon

Sweet little fairy.

Didn't deserve to be locked away in an asylum.

I think, in some way, this song is fitting for Alice.

Lyrics "Forgive me father, I love you Mother."

Make me feel like she would've said this a lot, thinking she was a disappointment to her parents for her gift.

"I'm scared to get close, and I hate being alone."

Definitely was something Alice had felt prior and post-vampirism, scared if she got too close to someone she could predict their fate.

But also being scared she would end up alone because people would be so weirded out by her gift.

Carlisle - Put Your Head On My Shoulder // Paul Anka

Absolute sweetheart !

This song is just Carlisle to Esme, 100%

He's such a gentleman, even though his father was like a BIG priest dude who killed the supernatural and he caused Carlisle to turn ??

He's just full of love, no one can tell me different !!

Secretly, Carlisle is Paul Anka and wrote this song for Esme

So sorry it's short, Dr. Cullen is just an angel and didn't really have much corruption in his life ngl.

Esme - Brick By Boring Brick // Paramore

For some reason I feel like this song definitely reminds me of Esme because of the meaning behind the song.

"The song Brick by Boring Brick is a story about a girl who escaped reality through pictures and fairy tales and anything that wasn’t the real story. This way, she’d look perfect to everyone else and we’d all think that she’s got it together. But being that it was all for show, it couldn’t last"

"Esme was born in 1895 in Columbus, Ohio, where she was treated at the age of 16 by Carlisle after breaking her leg when climbing a tree. She married Charles Evenson, but he abused her. After finding out she was pregnant, she ran away and gave birth to a son, who subsequently died a few days later."

Brick By Boring Brick resembles Esme's tough life from a young age, she was still only a child when she was to be married to Evenson, she didn't want to continue with the abuse she suffered.

So, she ran, she created a life where she would be happy, even though; if you looked a bit closer, there were cracks in her reality.

All she wanted was to be happy, but she also ended up losing her son in the process of freeing herself from the shackles of her abusive husband.

The lyrics "Well, you built up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic." Truly speaks on so many different levels how Esme presents herself to the world and everyone around, even though how she want's to be perceived is fake and in reality Esme has suffered a lot.

Not only with losing her baby but also she will never be able to have those years of her life back, it'll forever remind her of how badly she was treated. Just like Rose.

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp finds out what happened on wci and feels incredibly hurt and heart broken by it but also wants to comfort him after finding out about his family treatment twords him.

He feels so conflicted because he knows why he did what he did. Marry pudding protecting them from big mom but at the same time what about him? Did he even think about him when proposing to pudding? was he just content with leaving him without an explanation? He was just going to have to find out in the newspapers 'vensmokes and big mom alliance. Prince marries the daughter big mom'

He never confronted him about it. He did it to keep him and the rest of the crew safe, that's a good enough reason. His personal feelings went unchecked, repressed and shoved down like usual as he goes back into their normal routine as a couple. tho he thinks about it a lot especially in bed whether sanji is falling asleep first or he is getting up first it's even worse when they're intimate. He just stares wondering what would have happened if he did marry another and left him.

I am actually currently writing a fic in which they talk about WCI, but it's more Sanji-focused and I personally love Usopp's POV in this situation. Leaving my fic aside, another idea I've thought about thanks to your ask is like,, Sanji talks to Usopp right after Wano. Not that they have time to do so when they get there after WCI, and Sanji isn't really in the best place mentally. So they talk once Wano is saved, etc etc etc. And,, Usopp takes it well because, how else is he going to take it? It's not really Sanji's fault and he was the one suffering the most. Usopp has this uncontrollable rage toward the Vinsmokes now too. He hates Big Mom even more now. He even feels guilty now for telling Sanji to wear the Raid suit and complimenting it when it was hurting him so much. Sanji is literally in pieces right now. He needs comfort after what he's been through, not to feel more guilty. So Usopp doesn't mention the fact that he's a bit, tiny angry at Sanji for acting on his own. It's not like he has any right to be offended. He didn't even go to WCI to save him because he was scared to see what he might find there and Nami told him that being so overwhelmed with emotions wouldn't help either. But he didn't go save him, and that kills him with guilt. So he doesn't mention how jealous he is of this random girl. He doesn't mention how unfair it is that Sanji decided to marry somebody else without even taking him into consideration. He doesn't mention how scared he is of losing Sanji again, because he's willing to sacrifice himself at any given moment, and that means he never thinks about how much that would kill Usopp. Sanji's stupid and Usopp knows this because the cook doesn't see how much he means to him, so he will go and pull shit like this. And he can't have him doing that again, but if he starts talking about this instead of only comforting it, he's scared he might say something stupid like "Did you ever think about me when you were with her?" because if Sanji says no, Usopp literally dies. And also, he finds it selfish because Sanji has already gone through hell and back for them. He doesn't need another burden to carry.

But Sanji notices, of course. Sanji notices the changes in Usopp once he tells him about WCI and what happened in Wano. And it's,,, It's not bad, per se, it's actually really sweet. Instead of pushing him away, Usopp is even tenderer with him. His caresses are longer. His kisses linger more time in his body. His hands are more careful with Sanji. Usopp stays up to watch him fall asleep while he holds him close. And- And it should be okay, right? It's comforting and nice and Usopp has never been more of a gentleman with him. And Sanji needs this now. Somebody who loves him. But Sanji notices it in the way Usopp looks at him, not in the way he holds him, that something is wrong. That his eyes speak words his body won't say. So he confronts Usopp about it one day. Careful not to overstep. Trying not to hurt him more than he already has. He asks what's wrong, and Usopp tries to play it off like it's nothing. Because "it's nothing, really, Sanji. Don't worry!" but Sanji does worry. And after some back and forth, he manages to make him talk.

I'm gonna skip all the previous conversation because I think you already know how it goes. Usopp starts slow and sweet and says that it's okay. That he understands why Sanji did what he did, but it was unfair for him to get married without telling him. Even if he was doing it to save them. That he didn't think about his feelings. Sanji tries to fix it, but he only gets defensive and keeps saying that it was the right thing to do. Usopp, on the other hand, is starting to get mad too because:

Usopp: The right thing for who?! For me?! Don't you dare say you did it for me because- Sanji: Yes, I did. I did it for you! For all of you! I couldn't have the Vinsmok- Usopp: I think we've been through enough for you to stop trusting us so quickly, Sanji. Sanji: What do you mean? Usopp: I mean I- I mean you think so little of yourself you're willing to give your life away without thinking about me! I mean- Us! Us. The crew. Fuck. You know, you could've trusted us. We could've- Sanji: We?! You weren't even there! Usopp: Oh, sorry for not wanting to see my boyfriend get married to some random, rich, spoiled brat! Sanji: Don't talk about Pudding like that. Usopp: So she's one of your specialest girls now. I see. Sanji: What the fuck are you talking about? She's just- She's just not like that. Usopp: Well, you were willing to marry her pretty fucking quick. That's what I know. Sanji: I was protecting you- Usopp: Or giving up. You were giving up. And it just- It just makes me wonder if you ever,, Sanji: What? Usopp: If you ever thought about me while you were there with her? It's stupid. I- Look, jealousy isn't my thing. This doesn't sit right with me either. I'm- God, I'm sorry, okay? I get that you did this because- Sanji: Are you dumb? Usopp: What?! Sanji: Why am I asking? Of course you are. Because if you weren't so damn stupid you'd know I was thinking about you the whole fucking time. Do you really think I wanted to get married to somebody else, pretty girl or not, I- She wasn't you. I didn't- I don't love her. I didn't want to marry her. Usopp: But you were going to do it- Sanji: Okay! Whatever! Yes! I was going to do it and I felt like shit every fucking second because she wasn't you! Do you really think I want to get married to somebody that isn't you, moron? Usopp: Wait, what? Sanji: I- Usopp: You want to marry me?? Sanji: ... No. Usopp: Say it again. Sanji: Usopp, please-

Yadda yadda yadda, I think you know what happens after this. I think they should and would get married right away. Well, not right away because Sanji needs his cute little wedding with the Strawhats but,, Yeah. They're engaged. And they're even more annoying than when they were just boyfriends.

[itsclydebitches]

When Trent asks about writing the book and everyone is frantically getting Ted to say no literally behind Trent's back, do you think Trent knew what they were doing?

I do! On both a textual and a "realistic" level.

Meaning, if this were an irl scenario their reactions would be pretty hard to miss. Not only are Rebecca, Higgins, and Keeley saying 'No' with gestures grand enough to draw any eye, but Ted keeps shooting them very obvious "I'm uncomfortable with what they're doing over there" looks. As much as the Tedependent lizard part of my brain likes to read Trent's stare in this moment as heart eyes and heart eyes alone—why would he want to look at anything other than Ted??—I think, under the circumstances, it reads more like him deliberately staring to give Ted as much agency as he can in the moment. If Trent catches the others in their lies + insulting "Get him out of here" display, that puts him in the position of the victim, for lack of a better word. Ted then feels super guilty and he says "Yes" to Trent as a way to try and smooth things over. Trent doesn't want that. He wants to be here because Ted wants him here and though he can't control the others potentially influencing him, he can control his own reaction to the events: keep calm, open expression, non-judgmental, don't beg for it... just let Ted decide on his own.

However, to get back to the point about realistic scenarios, this is a comedy-drama where the characters often don't engage in realistic reactions. Emotions and responses are often deliberately exaggerated for the sake of comedic effect, so they definitely could have made Trent an Oblivious™ character who somehow misses the three people losing their minds right beside him and isn't that funny to watch? But I personally don't think Trent is that character. The show has never shied away from acknowledging what an ass he's been (see: his entire relationship with Roy) and Trent is more than aware of that reputation. He's cultivated it. There's really no version of these circumstances in which a very intelligent, emotionally aware Trent Crimm goes, "Hmm. I'm going to try and write a book about Richmond, the team made up of footballers who have avoided and cursed me out for years, a gaffer I threw to the proverbial wolves, and an owner who once hired me BECAUSE she knew I tear people to shreds in print. Besides, everyone loves having the press dog their steps for a season and then judge them in a permanent medium! Everyone's gonna be thrilled about this offer." Uh huh. Trent knows. He's not stupid. He's actually lucky that Rebecca went the polite route and passed the responsibility onto Ted Forgiveness Lasso. Ted's superhuman optimism was the very opening Trent needed.

Plus, I think Trent's knowledge of how he's really being received is shown throughout his first few weeks there. It's telling that Trent engages in a reversal of what's just been done to him, wherein he calls Rebecca out on why she really wants Zava: he can tell when she's lying and he knows when others in the room—this time Keeley, Higgins, and Ted—are trying to sway someone. Trent is already nervous when he walks into the changing room (you can see his fingers fluttering in his pocket) and he's a little shocked, but not surprised when Roy puts a ban on anyone speaking to him. We have that running joke of people going, "Don't put that in the book," the first instance of which is in Rebecca's office right after he's hired, yet again, there's no surprise along the lines of, "You're concerned about what I'm including? This is making you nervous, Rebecca? Why? I thought you wanted me here and the only thing keeping you from saying yes on the spot was respect for Ted and a belief that he should have the final call? 🤔" This girl was under NO delusions about how everyone was really receiving him. This is the face of a man who is very deliberately NOT looking behind him.

[systembug]

I don't particularly like venting online but I feel like it will make me feel better this time so uhh.. tw vent

T_T I really have to cut off another tabletop group for not respecting my boundaries, huh. Why are people like that... At least it wasn't on purpose I guess. Nobody just. Remembered. That I have things that will upset me for several days. Jesus fucking crist...

I discussed this when I joined. I have triggers. I don't want anything sexual toward my character ever. I would like to not be present during graphic scenes. No mentions of SA near me, ever. They made me feel guilty when they had to skip or reschedule sex scenes when I was present. Then forgot I asked not to mention things around me.

Two weeks ago they all forgot again. The thing wasn't severe or anything tho, its just that I joked about it being a jumpscare. One of them just HAD to ask stupid questions. "Ohh but how are going to live like that, this stuff is everywhere" "oooh don't go to public saunas/bathouses then lol". I kinda blew up at them. I told them that I infact cannot go to those places because I will have a breakdown. I told them that I don't fucking know how I am going to live like that. I thought they understood...

And yet... Just... Fucking. Christ. T_T

Literally yesterday I got triggered pretty bad cuz DM forgot and fucked up a bit with my character. I managed not to cry. At least he properly apologized immediately and after the game. But the Same Fucking Person..... Asked me... Why I reacted like that.....

Why are people like this. Why can I remember others traumas and be respectful!?

Bloody hell, I am so used to ppl forgetting this about me and overstepping that I got emotional when someone online was genuinely caring and respectful about my hangup. And if someone could be decent to me, then others can too. I should just fucking stop tolerating people that don't care to.

The worst thing is that getting triggered will make me hypervigilant even with things I am normally fine with. I hate that T_T

[multifandombullshitbabes]

It rly annoys me when ppl call rossi a racist for (checks notes) being forced by a group of bullies when he was 9 to pee on a black boy who was also being bullied. In fact, in the episode itself, rossi is shown clearly regretting n feeling guilty abt what happened, even tho he was literally 9 yrs old and also a victim in his own way.

Am i saying that rossi has never ever even thought of anything racist ever? Of course not. Ffs, even today many ppl, including me, will catch themselves thinking in ways that actively oppress many many people, but especially people of color, and especially black people. Its systemic. Its in everything, its almost ridiculous.

Let's think logically. Yes, rossi has a reputation; and after he left the bau, he reallyyyyy lived by it. But do y'all really think he could've been that good of a profiler, been respected by his peers and others that came after him, by gideon and hotch themselves, if he was a racist piece of shit? Do you? Do yall really think if he was racist he could be objective when necessary? And if he wasn't, dont u think it would be noticeable? Yes, he might still be respected as a great agent, but not as a good person, certainly not by hotch or gideon who obviously liked him before n after he left the bau.

Then again, he had a reputation to uphold. This suave cocky guy, works alone, thinks hes better than everyone, rich as fuck, etc etc. And thats what we and the team see when he first comes in. He's not there to be part of the team, hes there on his own mission. He doesn't need nobody.

So what does he do? Makes sure that he is useful ofc, but not likeable or attachable. He makes morgan n jj go to that bar knowing that they would lose respect for him afterwards, n he keeps picking on Derek, the next tough guy next to hotch, since hotch knows him n would see right through him. He makes no effort to understand Garcia at first, n he does everything to show that he comes from another time, he did things differently, n he doesn't care if they dont like it because, at first, he also does not care.

But morgan saw through him, cuz hes nothing if not smart n sharp and, importantly, a people's person kind of guy. He understands emotions (even tho sometimes he doesn't want to inspect his own n might lash out when hurt and frustrated, especially if those that hurt n frustrate him are the very very few he trusts), and so he understands rossi, cuz hes not stupid. And after that, the team just naturally grows on rossi, as they ought to do.

I dont think rossi is racist. I think he knows how he comes across n uses it to self isolate at the start, but then he drops it when he realises thats not rly what he wants, especially when he realises that the team can help him find who hes looking for.

[drdemonprince]

Any advice on managing a boss that is very rude and condescending who ALSO thinks that you’re “friends” and expects a sort of familiarity? And making them comfortable is imperative to your job safety?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Workplaces like this are so emotionally coercive and exhausting.

My recommendation would be that you do a modified, more smiley version of grey rocking. Grey rocking, for those who don't know, is a strategy for coping with abuse when you can not full get away from the person who is leveraging their power over you. When you have to be around them, you turn into a "grey rock" -- emoting very little, sharing only bare minimum of personal information (only answer what is asked, specifically), not reacting to their nonsense or letting them get the satisfaction of having gotten a rise out of you, agreeing to go along with their ideas in only the most passive of ways, and just generally being maximally boring and unsatisfying to be around, but without doing anything they can point to that is a problem. You're being compliant, agreeable, and totally dull. This often extinguishes the worst of a lot of abusive and attention-seeking behavior. Grey rocking of this kind is especially useful for abusive parents you're stuck living with for a while.

Since you are dealing with an emotionally coercive workplace environment with a boss who has bad boundaries, you want to do a slightly cheerier, oblivious version of grey rocking. I think it's Brene Brown who calls this being "happy and stupid". Plaster a very mild smile on your face and nod along with things and make very mild, brief agreeable comments when forced to -- nothing high energy or intense, which would be far more draining to you to perform, and far more satisfying to the person manipulating you, which you want to avoid. Do not attempt to mind read and only do literally what you are told explicitly to do. If a request is implied, don't try to pick up on it, and just act clueless, but smiley, forcing your shitty boss to articulate the weird performance or action she is trying to exact out of you. Don't apologize or act guilty, just smile and do the minimum while making it seem like youre blandly enjoying it and that it's your best.

Basically, you want to give your boss nothing negative they can point out about you. You do what is asked, you agree, you smile, you don't pull focus, you don't have much to say, you dont create problems, you dont have an attitude and you're a little spacey, but gosh, you sure mean well. Ideally this will make them have warm feelings toward you, but also generally kind of forget you exist, and find interacting with you pleasant but boring, so they can't target you for abuse as much. When you become invisible but liked you can get away with a lot.

Combining an overall mildly pleasant and agreeable demeanor with apparent slight ditziness/obliviousness/literal mindedness means that people will expect less intellectual and emotional heavy lifting from you, hopefully, and lower their standards without having any failing or disagreeableness they can point to as a problem. Don't talk shit at work (except for things like private, secure conversations toward unionizing or collective bargaining or the like), don't get emotionally invested in any outcome, kind of shrug and smile your way through all that you can.

[bambistan]

Remember me?

psa: pls ignore the fact that they are literally standing in the middle of a battlefield throughout this and forget what would happen in reality if you stopped moving in the middle of a war. (which is death btw lmaoo)

Background: James was kidnapped by the Dark Lord and tortured so many times he forgot who he was and became a deatheater.

~-~

Storm clouds drited across the sky above them as they fought. Spells were cast and deflected, screams of pain and horror and terror were so loud that they could be heard above the nearing thunder.

James was angry, though he couldn't remember why. He knew something bad happened to him, he wasn't sure who was at fault but it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

He was unlike himself, a mere shell of person. An idea that was pulled from the Dark Lords wicked mind and transferred into his own. He only remembers the pain, the suffering. Images of loved ones flash through his mind, their faces scratched out and their voices distorted.

He has all but one purpose; to kill.

He shouted out countless Unforgivables like it was the only words he knew. He didn't care who they were, if they had friends or family. He used to have that too, he knows that, but he's too far gone to worry about them.

The only image stuck in his brain that he's sure of, is this beautiful strange boy. He looks so familiar, yet James can't figure it out.

He cast the killing curse toward an unsuspecting redhead. Unluckily, she dodged it, and James scoffed before moving to throw another.

"Watch your left!" Someone on his side warned. He got a glimpse of pale skin and black hair before he had to turn to his left and defend himself. An unknown feeling rose up in him, it was warm and tingly, but almost painfully so.

He continued fighting anyways, whatever it was didn't matter to him. He was a different person now. He couldn't risk dying to figure out what some stupid feeling meant.

He raised his wand to counter-attack the person who tried to curse him. It's almot laughable to him that these "good" people have cast just as many Unforgivables as him, and he's the bad guy? It's pathetic.

Just as the curse leaves his wand, he hears someone call his name. The voice is familiar, and his head snaps to the direction of it.

There, in all the chaos, stands that same strange boy. His expression is full of shock, his eyes wide and his mouth parted as his bottom lip quivers.

James does not move. He watches the boy watch him as curses narrowly dodge the both of them. The screams seem distant and muffled when the boy takes a step toward him.

His first instinct is to raise his wand, but his movement stops half way when he sees the other boy drop his.

It's started to rain now. Enough to drench everyone but not enough to wipe the blood from his hands. He doesn't know why, but he feels guilty, like a child being scolded by their mother.

"James," he says again. Questions flood his mind as he wonders who this person standing in front of him is. He is as familiar as James' own refletion, but just as unrecognisable as it.

He takes another step, James sees his legs shaking and growing weak. The need to pick him up and tell him he'll never have to walk again arises in James' chest, but he pushes the feeling away.

Although he is still steps away from James, he lifts his hand like he's cupping his face from a distance. Then he speaks.

"Oh, my love," his face turns pained, "What have they done to you," he whispers, and the question isn't a question. Because he can see what James has become, he can see the monster hiding beneath his skin and impersonating him. And that thought annoys James so much that he curses someone. They might've been on his side, or the other, but it doesn't matter, as long it keeps his emotions at bay, it's worth it.

When his eyes meet the other boys again, he looks hurt, as if James had cursed him instead of who he actually did. He has to forciby stop himself from hurting the boy out of spite.

"Who are you?" James spits out, anger rising in his chest for no reason.

He doesn't speak, he only continues staring with that some hurt face. It hurts James to see him this way, and he immediately softens his expression.

"Jamie," He takes a few steps closer and James flinches back. He's scared of his past, he hates who he is now but he knows he can't change. If this person was a friend or family, James doesn't think he could handle the pain. He's so tired of feeling the pain.

"Jamie," He whispers again, and the words flow from his mouth straight into James' ears, and for once, James is safe. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel.

He feels warm, from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair, and he feels . . . He feels someone touch him, they gently caress his cheek. The feeling spreads like wildfire in the forest that is his body. He sees colours dance in the darkness of his eyelids and when he opens them everything stills. And he looks at the boy in front of him, they boy whose water-coloured eyes ignite him with his stare.

And he remembers.

He remembers this boy - Regulus. He remembers the late night talks in the astronomy tower. He remembers drunkenly dancing with him in the Slytherin common room.

He remembers how miserable their first date in Hogsmeade was, because James had dragged the poor boy to Zonkos, but all was forgiven when he took him to the bookstore just down the street.

He remembers laughing while rolling around in his bed with him and he-

"Regulus?" he whispers in disbelief. Holding the hand that holds his face so gently.

"Remember me, love?" Regulus laughs sadly, but in James' opinion, the sound could top angels singing.

"Yeah," James laughs to as tears brim in his eyes. "Yeah," he repeats falling forward into the arms of his was, is and always will be lover.

And he forgets the pain, the anger and the hate. Because none of it matters anymore. He has Regulus, and for now, that's all he needs.