#ugh anyways whatever trying to manage this shit is fucking exhausting and i can’t be bothered sometimes

[gregmarriage]

having my ‘normal’ be constant dizzy spells and motion sickness and mobility issues that range from moderate to severe, and then being gaslighted into thinking that’s actually normal. like, everybody experiences that, when i know they don’t. because i’ve experienced having a normal body and after nearly four years with a non normal one, i’d like to say: this shit fucking sucks

[manicplank]

The Color Pink (Part 15)

Aaaaa sorry this took so long. This piece has been written for a while so I decided to post it since I've been too busy to write more. Sorry if it sucks.

Theodore awoke in the morning to see that his room was spotless. All the laundry was put away, and his army of half empty water bottles was gone. He tried to sit up, but it was too painful. He never picked up his painkillers from the pharmacy, so he had no means of relief. He groaned as his shoulder throbbed. Hazel appeared in the doorway almost instantly. “Theo,” she spoke calmly even though she was very worried. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he mumbled. “I can’t get up. It hurts too much.”

“Oh, okay, um…” She walked over to him in a hurry. She took the pillows out from underneath his right side. He winced in pain. “Sorry!” She was a little unsure of what to do. She went over to his other side and placed her hands underneath his neck and back. She slowly pulled up, but this only rolled him over. He cried out in pain again. She began to stress. She went to the foot of the bed. “Give me your hand.” She reached out and grabbed his left hand. “I’m gonna pull you up, and you’re gonna try and sit up at the same time, okay?”

“Mhm…”

“Okay, on three. One… Two… Three!” She strained as she pulled him up. He winced again, but he was sitting upward, so their mission was accomplished. She went over to him and held his face. “You okay?”

“No. I’m in pain.”

“Um… Okay, uh… I don’t know what to do.”

“They sent a script for painkillers over to the pharmacy. They should be ready by now. We need to go pick them up.”

“Oh, right! Good idea. Do you need help getting dressed?”

“No. I’ll just go like this.” He was dressed in sweatpants and an NTV t-shirt.

Hazel put her hands on her hips. “Really? Just like that?”

“Dude, I’m in too much pain to give a shit right now. I’m not walking down a red carpet. I was gonna send you to get them, anyways.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah. I was gonna wait here… Is that okay?”

“Isn’t your wallet still on set?”

“Shit, that’s right. Fuck, okay, um…” He sighed, “Ugh, I guess I’ll have to go with.”

“Plus, I need to pack a bag with some clothes. I’m going to stay here for a couple days to help you out.”

“Hazel, you don’t have to-”

She repeated herself in a firmer, more assertive tone, “I am going to stay here for a couple of days to help you out.”

He huffed. “Fine.”

“You don’t have to pity me, Theodore. I’m helping you because you need it. I’m helping you because I want to.” She went up to him and gently cupped his face in her hands. “Okay?”

He smiled. “Okay.”

She gave him a gentle peck on the lips. “You sure you don’t want to put any better pants on?”

“I’m sure. I’m comfortable.”

“Okay,” she rolled her eyes playfully, “whatever you say.” She stuck her hand out. “Come on, I’ll help you up.”

As she helped him to his feet, there was a knock at the door. He sighed, “Stay here, I’ll get it.” He dragged his feet as he walked. The entire right side of his body was stiff and sore. An ache radiated through his body with each step. The door knocked again. “SHUT UP!” He screamed in frustration as he walked up to the door. He opened it up; it was Dougie.

Theodore inhaled deeply and huffed with frustration. “What do you want?”

“Hi, boss. I have your keys and your wallet.” Dougie handed them to him.

“Oh… Cool… Thanks…”

“The set manager wants you to call him.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “What does he want?”

“He wants to know how you’re doing. We all do.”

“I’m in pain. Shout it through a megaphone and make sure everybody hears.”

“Yeah, but-”

Theo slammed the door in Dougie’s face. Hazel had come down the stairs to see that Noise had his wallet and keys in hand.

“Who was that?” She asked.

“It was Dougie. He dropped off my stuff.”

“Oh, okay, good. That’s one less stop we have to make.”

“Yep. Let’s go, I’m in a lot of pain and I want to go back to bed.”

Theo waddled behind Hazel as they headed out.

-

After everything was said and done, Theodore was completely exhausted. He had dozed off on the way back. He picked his head up once the car stopped. Hazel helped him up and out of his seat. She grabbed his hips from behind and guided him to the door.

“I’m not drunk,” he said, “you don’t have to lead me.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You don’t have to baby me.”

“Shush. Let’s just get you inside so you can take a painkiller and go to bed. You need all the rest you can get.”

Theodore rolled his eyes and walked up to the door. Hazel unlocked and opened it for him. He dragged his feet as he walked in, holding the door for her to walk in behind him. He plopped onto the couch and kicked his legs up. His body was too tired to move anymore. Hazel hurriedly grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and gave him the painkiller. He swallowed it without hesitation. She twiddled her fingers together as he laid his head down.

“Do you want me to take you up to your room?” She asked.

“Mmph,” he mumbled. “No. I’ll stay down here. That way if I need anything, I can just get it myself. I won’t have to go up and down the stairs a million times.”

“Hmm… Oh! Hold on, stay here.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere anyways.”

She rushed up to his room and grabbed a pillow as well as his fuzzy pink “blankie”. She came back down to see him already dozing off. “Here,” she tucked the pillow under his head and spread the blanket across him. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and he smiled. “Will you be okay if I leave?”

“You’re leaving?” He whined.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, but I have to go home eventually.”

He chuckled softly. “I’m just teasing you.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. She ran her fingers through his hair. “I’ll be back. I have to pack some clothes and such.”

“Okay.”

“Call me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay.”

She cuffed his cheek and pecked him on the lips as goodbye.

-

She had to go through The Slum as she headed home. While she did, she was stopped by someone calling to her. She turned around to see The Vigilante running up to her as fast as possible. He looked incredibly disheveled as if he had seen the devil. “Hazel,” he shouted in a huff. “Hazel, you’re alive!” He stopped hard enough to leave skid marks from his boots. He huffed and puffed as he tried to catch his breath.

“Oh, hi Vigi,” she greeted.

“Where…” He sighed. “Where have you been?! Is everything okay?!”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I haven’t seen you in a couple days, and your cafe has been closed. I was worried sick!”

“Sorry. I should���ve left a note on the door or something. I ended up closing early once I was done with the NTV order the other day. Something came up.”

“What happened?”

“Well, um… I don’t think it’s any of your business, but… The Noise got injured at work. He needs some help taking care of himself.”

The Vigilante rolled his eyes. “Oh, sure, big celebrity man can’t take care of himself.”

“No, seriously! His shoulder is all messed up. It’s his right shoulder, and he’s right handed. He can’t do much.”

The Vigilante still looked doubtful. “Well,” he sighed disgruntledly. “I suppose your cafe will be closed for a while…”

“Hm… I never thought about that. That’s going to be an issue… I’m already a little behind on my rent.”

“Yeah, well, you know how Pizzaface is about money.”

Her shoulders tensed up as she imagined the giant floating pizza being angry at her. He was quite intimidating naturally. She didn’t want to know what he was like when he was angry. Closing the cafe to take care of The Noise was going to cost her in the long run, but he had no one else to depend on. She chewed on the tips of her fingers nervously. How was she going to make this work? She was worried about Theodore, but she was also worried about losing her career. Regardless, she wanted to take care of him. The Vigilante was snapping in her face as she came to.

“Hazel? You okay?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment.” She chuckled nervously.

“You look like a deer in headlights.”

“I’m fine. I have to go.” She turned around and rushed off.

“Hazel, wait-” The Vigilante tried to catch her attention again, but she was already gone.

-

Once she got home, she was stuck. She was torn between taking care of The Noise or taking care of her cafe. She shook her head and went into her room to start packing clothes and accessories. She figured she would take care of him for one more night as she thought about how she could work things out. She tried to keep it out of her mind. She wanted to get back to Noise as soon as possible. Knowing him, she was afraid he might do something stupid. Once she was all packed up, she hustled back over to The Noise’s. She couldn’t shake off her anxiety, and she wanted to get there as soon as possible so she could talk to him about it.

-

Hazel used the spare key to go through the backdoor of Theodore’s home. She walked into the living room to see him still zonked out on the couch. Those painkillers knocked him out, she thought. She slowly walked up to him and gently nudged his arm. “Theo?” He was out cold. For a moment, she feared that he was dead, even though she knew how irrational that thought was. She nudged him a little harder. His eyes slowly peeled open.

“Oh,” he muttered, “you’re back.”

“Yeah, hey, um…” She spoke frantically.

He let out a groan as he stretched then picked his head up. “Are you okay? You seem… upset.”

“Yeah. I mean, no. Well, kind of.”

He slowly sat up on his own. “Come here, sit.”

Hazel sat on the couch and twiddled with her thumbs. “So, um… I have to talk to you about something.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh… So… I gave it some thought and-”

Theodore’s heart sank. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen. He was worried she had gotten overwhelmed and was going to leave him.

“- I’m not quite sure I’ll be able to take care of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t take care of you and run the cafe at the same time.”

He shrugged. His worry suddenly faded. “Then take care of the cafe.”

“But you can’t take care of yourself.”

“Right…”

They sat in silence for a moment. Hazel felt insanely guilty.

“Hey,” Theo broke the silence, “I have an idea.”

“Hm?” Hazel looked at him with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“What if, and hear me out here,” he put his free hand on her shoulder. “What if I took care of you, too?”

“What… What are you talking about?”

“What if I helped you out financially while you help me? Like, what if I paid you for taking care of me?”

“What?! Theodore, no! I’d feel so guilty!”

“Please. Let me help you.”

They made eye contact for a moment. Hazel took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Theo smiled and gave her a quick smooch. “Relax. We can make this work. Everything will be okay. Anything you need, I will take care of. Okay?”

“Okay.” Hazel’s eyes were glazed over with tears. She wasn’t expecting him to react in such a way.

“You look like you’re going to cry.”

Hazel’s lower lip quivered as she nodded.

“No,” he pulled her in for a gentle hug. He wrapped his left arm around her as tight as he could. “No tears.” He kissed her cheek as she whined and shed a few tears into his chest. She sat up and wiped her tears away with her sleeve.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m just stressed.”

“I know. It’s okay. You can stay here as long as you need to.”

“Okay. I mean, I’ll have to grab more clothes and things. I only packed enough for a couple days.”

“That’s fine. Everything’s fine, okay? Stop worrying.”

“Okay.”

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N and Peter have always hated each other but when Y/N discovers an element that can make people fall in love, her whole relationship flips upside down. 

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: I’m still working on the last part to thin ice but I’ve had the idea of a love potion series for Peter and since we’re in quarantine, I said fuck it. I’m such a sucker for an enemy to love type thing so this is great cause technically it’s a slowburn but not at the same time! Also Y/N is ADOPTED cause duh of course she is. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Warnings: Mild language, mean peter 

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

You grew up with always hearing the saying that the heart wants what it wants. When your heart longed for a family, you found yourself among the Avengers who helped raised you into the woman you were meant to be. Deep down, you loved them more than you could possibly imagine and your heart felt full knowing they would always have your back. 

You weren’t sure how much room was left in your heart but you knew a person who you definitely didn’t make space for. Peter Parker. 

Your dad recruited him into the Avengers years ago but ever since the two of you met, you had always butted heads. 

There was a whole list of reasons why you hated him; the smirk he always had whenever he would see you and the way he said your name as if it was like venom in his mouth. 

There were times where Peter would leave smoke bombs in your room after you had just cleaned it or trap you in your room with his webbing when you were late for the movies. You always managed to get him back whether it was you throwing out all of his clothes into the courtyard when he needed to get ready for school or you hacking into his phone whenever he had an important call. 

Most of the time, it didn’t matter. You both knew you were smarter and wittier than he would ever be but the one thing he always had above you was that he had powers. It didn’t matter that you had grown up with superheroes or that your dad was the Tony Stark, Peter would always be an Avenger. 

Everyone in the complex knew the feud the two of you had but that didn’t stop them from stirring the pot now and then to witness it. 

You sat down on the couch as you continued to work on your paper quietly since you needed a change of scenery.  Bucky watched over your shoulder as he made breakfast in the kitchen. 

“ Homework?” 

“ Mhm. It’s about how the U.S could have avoided World War II if our president wasn’t so dumb,” You said as you kept your eyes glued to your screen,” I’ll let you read it once I finish it.”

Bucky smiled and turned his attention back to the stove,” Sounds good kiddo.” 

You had about thirty minutes before your paper was due and you felt like you were on a roll. You had enough time to knock out another page but as soon as you shifted to the next paragraph, loud music started to play from one of the rooms close by. 

You didn’t even have to look up to know that it was Peter. You turned around and looked sympathetically at Bucky for help but he shook his head when his eyes met yours. 

“ Don’t look at me, I’m making breakfast.”

You looked down at your laptop as if you were considering to ignore the music before getting up from the couch anyway and stomped over to Peter’s room. You could feel the vibration of the music underneath your feet as you knocked on the door violently,” Shut up Parker!” 

Not even a second later, the door swung open and revealed Peter who was only wearing sweatpants and a small smirk. 

“ What did you say? I can’t hear you,” Peter shouted over the music as he tried to close the door on you. 

You pushed the door open and slid through, heading straight for his phone that was attached to the room’s speaker. You grabbed it before he could reach you and you swiped your thumb over his phone screen to turn the music off,” You’re making my brain hurt and I can’t even hear myself think!”

“ Wait,” Peter gasped as he acted surprised,” you have a brain? I’m so sorry I didn’t even realize!” 

Peter tried to reach for his phone but you yanked it back and held your hand up,” You can get this back after I finish my paper. I’m serious Parker if I fail because of your dumbass music I’ll kill you.” 

You walked out of his room and back into the living room where Peter trailed behind you. At this point, Bucky, Sam, and Natasha were all in the kitchen as they silently watched the madness that unfolded right in front of them. 

You plopped back down on the couch but before you could place your laptop back into your lap, Peter grabbed it away from you and closed the screen harshly. 

“ Peter! I didn’t save it!”

“ Relax, you have google docs,” Peter said as he reached out his hand,” now give me my phone.”

You stood up as you tried to grab your laptop back but Peter casually held it over his head. 

You didn’t want to embarrass yourself even further so you didn’t even attempt to leap up and grab it out of his sneaky hands,“ Ugh, fine. Will you at least stop playing your shitty music so loudly?” 

Peter tilted his head to the side for a moment,” Do you really want this back?”

You knew Peter was playing a trick on you but you were so frustrated, you took the bait anyway. 

“ Yes, I would like my laptop back,” You sighed as Peter smiled cheekily back at you. 

Peter nodded and shrugged,” Okay, now ask me nicely. Didn’t your dad teach you manners?” 

You fumed silently as you tried to keep your temper down,” May I please have my laptop back...you little shit!” 

Peter clicked his tongue and shook his head,” That’s kinda mean Y/N but for you I’ll give it back...if you beg for it.” 

Your face grew hot and before you knew it, you lunged at Peter. Both you and Peter hit the floor as the two of you wrestled to try and grab your belongings back. Once you grabbed your laptop, you scrambled back up before glaring back at Peter. 

“ You idiot! You could’ve broken my-” As you opened your laptop, you saw your screen completely cracked. If you squinted, you could barely make out any words that were on your page. 

Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach as you could feel how close you were to crying. You had been working on this paper for days and you knew you still had so much to work on. 

Peter watched your face as he visibly gulped,” Y/N-”

“ Forget it!” You snapped back as you gather the rest of your notes and pushed past him,” fucking asshole.” 

You pressed your laptop and your notebooks against your chest as you figured you could find an empty computer up in the labs. Peter hesitantly watched as you walked away and into one of the glass elevators.

“ I’m sorry!” He shouted as the elevator started to go up. 

You looked down at Peter and made eye contact with him before sticking up your middle finger. Peter shook his head as stuffed his hands into his pocket and mumbled underneath his breath. 

“You’re terrible with women,” Sam sighed as Peter turned his attention towards the kitchen. 

Peter pointed back at himself and towards the elevator,” Me? She’s being the difficult one!” 

Natasha shook her head as she grabbed her coffee mug and walked towards Peter,” Take my advice kid, if you like a girl, I would refrain from...whatever you just did. Ever heard of flowers or a card?” 

“ I don’t like her, how many times do I have to tell you guys!” Peter huffed as his face grew bright red. 

“ Even if you don’t like her, you need to at least apologize, it’s the right thing to do,” Natasha said as she patted his shoulder and walked off, leaving Peter to feel guilty. 

Once you got to the labs, you found a vacant computer in the hallway and started to work on your paper. At this point, you were just bullshitting it and after a few minutes of angrily typing, you decided you would just submit it since you were exhausted. 

As you wheeled your chair back away from the desk, you spotted Banner in one of the main labs by himself. His body hunched over the desk as he looked directly into a microscope.

Even from your position, you could see that whatever he was looking at was glowing bright pink. You rested your knee against the desk as you leaned back in your chair, attempting to try and get a better look. 

You had never seen anything in science ever give off such a vibrant color before and you were intrigued, to say the least. As cool as it was living in the Avengers complex with superheroes, you were more fascinated on what went down in the labs than on the battlefield. 

As you stretched back, you felt the wheel underneath your chair slip from underneath you and a second later, you fell to the ground with a hard thud. You clasped your hand over your mouth as you listened to hear footsteps coming closer.

The door to the lab chamber opened up to a whirring sound as cold air whipped past you, you had been caught.

“ Y/N? What are you doing down there?” Banner asked as he helped you up to your feet. 

Without missing a beat you looked over his shoulder and pointed to the glowing object,” What is that? Can I look at it with you?” 

Banner followed your line of sight to where his microscope was positioned and then back at you. 

“ Um, I’m not sure your dad would want you-”

“ Please? Just for a second, I promise,” You whined while Banner sighed as if he knew he was defeated. 

Out of all the Avengers, Banner was always the one to go easy on you and you knew he would fall for your puppy dog eyes. 

“ Fine, but just for a second but don’t touch anything,” You followed Banner into the lab as the cold air sterilized you and your clothes,” put these on.”

You put on your lab coat and gloves as you followed closely behind him. He motioned his hand to the microscope as you gladly accepted the offer. 

You peeked into the microscope as you examined the slide. It was hard to see anything besides the pink glow but after looking at it closer, you could make out small, powdery rocks as small as a grain of rice. 

“Okay well, this definitely isn’t a bunch of pop rocks so what is it?” You asked, turning back to Banner,” this has ‘space stuff’ written all over it.”

Banner nodded as you stepped away from the microscope to rest your eyes,“It’s a form of moondust that works as a highly addictive psychostimulant that directly affects the hypothalamus. Thor brought it back for the lab so I could try and make a type of vaccine since it has really bad side effects.” 

“ What do you mean it has bad side effects- is that why my eyes hurt?” You asked nervously as Banner calmed you down.

“ Relax, it’s relatively safe as long as it doesn’t come in contact with water. You know what oxytocin is right? It’s called the love hormone and when this powder makes contact with human skin-”

“ Oxytocin-So, like a love potion?” You questioned as Banner stopped for a moment before nodding,” You have to let me help you, please let me help you. School is so easy right now, I need something challenging so my brain cells don’t deteriorate!” 

You could tell that Banner was hesitant about allowing a seventeen-year-old girl to help him find a cure for a space element that was highly addictive but in the name of science, he budged.

                                                              ----

“ I think we should call it a day. We’ve been working on this for hours and we still haven’t found anything that stands out,” Dr. Banner said as he stepped away from the lab table and stretched his neck out,” I heard your dad is making dinner for everyone tonight and I want front row seats to that trainwreck.”

You checked the time and saw that it had been hours since you’ve eaten or even saw the light of day. As hungry and tired as you were, you knew that if it was a big dinner, Peter would be joining in. 

For the first time in hours, you remembered everything that had gone down earlier in the day and it just made you mad all over again. 

You backed up from the microscope and nodded as you felt how sore your neck was starting to feel,” I’ll probably head down later. I just want to be sure we’re not missing anything.” 

“ I wanted to thank you again for your help with all of this. I know it’s not your department but I’m glad to see you in the lab,” Banner said as some of the other scientists in the lab started to leave,” it’s really great to see young people interested in science.” 

“ Well, it helps when you have a great teacher,” You smiled as Banner grinned back. 

Once he left the lab, you turned your attention back to what you and Banner called “ Lovedust”. As you looked at the powder, you felt a wave of sadness wash over you. 

You weren’t sure if it was from the powder or how long you’ve been working on a serum but looking at the Lovedust made you feel helpless.

 You had been in relationships in the past that were never the healthiest but if you had known back then that an actual love potion existed, maybe it could’ve saved you a few heartaches.  

You were so deep in thought that you didn’t hear the sterilization door open as Peter stepped in quietly, watching you from afar. 

He crept up behind you to where he was a mere centimeters away from his chin touching your shoulder. 

“ Whatcha got there?” Peter asked loudly as you jumped up from your seat, shrieking. 

You hit the table with your knee hard as you whipped around, completely flustered, to see Peter leaning against one of the lab tables laughing. 

“ Very funny idiot!” You said as you smacked the back of his head,” you can’t sneak up on someone like that- especially in a laboratory!” 

Peter pushed your hand away as his gaze fell on the Lovedust that was now sprawled over the table. 

He pointed over to the powder as he kneeled in front of it,” Woah, what is this stuff?”

Your eyes grew wide as you grabbed Peter’s hand and pulled him away from the table. If Peter were to come into contact with it, who knows what trouble he could stir up. 

“ Promise me that you will not touch it! I need a sweepy thingy!” You shouted as you scrambled around the room to find a dustpan. 

Peter only rolled his eyes as he pulled up a chair so he could get a better look at the glowing dust. Peter whistled low as you finally found the dustpan that was underneath one of the lab tables. 

“ Were you hiding up here this whole time staring at this thing?” Peter asked as you stopped in front of the table and shooed him to the side,” are you going to tell me what this is or am I going to have to touch it to get your attention?” 

You set a deadly gaze to Peter before turning your attention to the mess he had caused. Banner said it was relatively harmless as long as it didn’t touch water and as you looked around the room, you noticed there wasn’t a sink or beaker close by. 

You sighed as you turned to Peter,” It’s moondust they found on Thor’s planet. Just don’t spit on it or lick it cause if it comes in contact with water, it gets super reactive.” 

Peter looked up curiously at you as he raised his eyebrow,” How reactive?”

You mimicked an explosion noise with your mouth as your hands spread out into jazz fingers which made Peter laugh. 

“ Okay, got it, no water,” Peter said before he backed up from the table and started looking around the lab. Peter watched as you tried your best to sweep up the remaining dust carefully as he leaned against one of the bunsen burners. 

“ Why are you here? Cause if it’s an apology, I don’t want to hear it,” You said finally as Peter straightened up his back,” I’m tired of your lame excuses.”

While his whole plan was to come up and apologize, he felt all that motivation and guilt fade away since you had said it in a snarky tone.  

“ Why would I apologize?” Peter responded as you shook your head, laughing dryly,” for the laptop? You were the one who lunged at me!”

It all made sense to you, Peter would never own up to his mistakes and now, his mistake had cost you another laptop. 

You kept your focus to the table but you clicked your tongue,” You know what Peter, I’m not saying you have to treat me like the Queen of England, but I’ll be damned if you don’t respect me. I think you need to remember who you’re talking to, I’m a Stark.” 

Peter moved away from the table and stood next to you with his arms crossed against his chest. 

“ You think you can intimidate me? Y/N, we’re not friends, I don’t owe you anything.”

You turned to face Peter as you felt pure rage growing inside your chest,” You’re right, you don’t owe me anything. But that suit you run around in and that room you sleep in every night is thanks to my dad. Before my dad showed up you were nothing. Humble yourself Spiderboy.”

Peter’s face looked visibly hurt for a second before glaring right back at you,” I need to humble myself? All you ever do is go around saying how smart you are just because your dad is Tony Stark. You’re almost eighteen and yeah you got a full ride to Columbia and you’re valedictorian but you wasted your whole high school years on never accomplishing anything! You never went to a single party, you never passed your driver’s test, and you’ve never even had a boyfriend before.” 

“ Newsflash Parker, I’ve had boyfriends before but unlike you, my relationships don’t dictate whether or not I’ve accomplished something!” You snapped back as you took a step towards Peter,” and at least my boyfriend’s dads don’t end up in jail.” 

Peter didn’t even hesitate as the words slipped right out of his mouth,” And at least my girlfriends actually loved me back.”

Immediately, nausea swirled in your empty stomach as your mind started to feel swarmed with old memories of every relationship you had. The room felt still and you thought that if you let a tear out, it would make noise once it hit the floor. 

Peter immediately regretted his words once again as he watched your stern face fall into a somber one. Before he could reach out to you, he felt the hair on his arm raise up at the same time. 

“ Wow, low blow Parker-” You turned around and when you looked at the table behind you, half of your notes and papers were lit up in flames. 

Before you could even let out a gasp, the sprinkler system came on as water sprayed every inch of the room, including the Lovedust. 

“ No no no!” You yelled as you scrambled over to the other side of the room to shut the water off,” Peter help me!” 

Peter carefully tried to run through the slippery floor without falling but once he saw you slip on the way to the button, he almost sprinted towards you. When he felt his foot slip from underneath him, he jolted his arm out to catch himself on the table. 

He could feel the Lovedust crunch underneath his palm as his blood ran cold. You had never told him what the powder was except that it would explode so Peter desperately tried rubbing the powder onto his pants. 

You picked yourself up from the ground and used all of your weight to press the button and stopped the sprinkler system. Within seconds, the sprinkler system halted as you looked back at Peter, who was completely drenched in water. 

“ Nice going- hey, are you okay?” You asked as you moved your wet hair out of your face before stopping in the middle of your step. 

Peter’s left hand and his whole left side of his jeans were covered in glowing pink dust that was turning redder by the second. 

“ I need to sit down,” Peter said softly before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his feet crumbled underneath him. 

Once Peter hit the ground, you screamed for help as you slid across the wet floor, kneeling close to Peter. 

You did your best to avoid touching his whole left side as you lifted the upper half of his body and propped his head up against the leg of the table. You cupped your hands around his face as you moved a few strands of wet hair so you could see better. 

“ Peter? Damn it, Peter!” You shook him harshly as you felt your heart sink to your stomach,” Wake up! Wake up!” 

Your hands trembled as you checked his head to make sure he didn’t bust it open. Every ounce of angry you held towards him quickly faded once you thought that Peter was seriously injured. 

After shaking him for a moment, Peter’s eyes slowly opened. The first thing he could feel was warmth spreading across his whole body like nothing he had ever felt before. His heart permanently felt like it was skipping a beat every few seconds and his chest felt extremely tight. 

His breathing was uneven as if he had just ran a marathon but once his vision started coming back, every ounce of breath was taken from his lungs. As you stared back at Peter with a worried expression, his heart sped up even faster as he found himself getting lost into the deep color of your eyes. 

“ Peter? Can you hear me?” You asked as you snapped your fingers close to his ear but Peter barely flinched. 

He nodded, hanging onto every word as if it was words on a page and he felt immediate comfort in hearing your sweet voice. He managed to pull his gaze away from your eyes but next, he focused on your lips and made details of the way you said his name. 

“ Oh thank god, don’t worry, help is coming. Just stay awake for me okay?” You sighed as you nervously pushed another strand of wet hair behind your ear, which made Peter sigh deeply. 

He wanted nothing more than to reach out to you and tuck a strand of hair away from your face but he was too distracted by how you looked in front of him. Even though you were soaking wet from head to toe, Peter couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. 

“ I’m so glad you’re okay,” You admitted as you smiled before pulling your hands away from his face. 

Everything besides his heartbeat seemed to stop once you smiled and that’s when Peter deep down knew something was wrong but he didn’t care. The way your lips lifted upward into a smile filled with complete relief made his heart beat even faster. 

Peter swallowed hard before looking up at you as his face flushed a deep shade of red,” I don’t know what’s happening to me...but I’ve never loved you more than right now. I can’t help it, I love you, I’ve always loved you Y/N.” 

Your smile dropped as you looked down at Peter’s whole left side. The Lovedust was completely gone and you knew in that moment that his skin must’ve absorbed the remainder of it.

In a matter of seconds, a boy who wanted nothing to do with you and claimed no boy had ever loved you was now professing his undying love for you. 

“ You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

[nat-20s]

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad. 

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show  applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of  a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon:  No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true.  Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look. 

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Don’t Feed The Flames - Bucky Barnes x (f)reader, Natasha x platonic (f) reader

Summary: Bucky has made you angry after a tough mission with the crew, why you ask? Apparently he thinks it’s totally fine to run inside a burning building to help you complete the mission in question. 

Warning: bit of angst, mostly a good time with the team, Bucky fluff shoved in ur welcome

-reader has fire powers btw, I don’t wanna confuse anyone lol

Masterlist

The mission was difficult to say the least, successful in its own right, but tough for everyone involved. All the Avengers were needed for this clusterfuck of a mission, minus Bruce and Thor who are elsewhere in the universe, lucky them.

All the team needed to do was infiltrated one of the last highly armed Hydra bases left in existence, get rid of the artillery and boom, slither right on in. Objective? Snatch valuable intel as to where the other bases are hiding, and surprise surprise, you and Wanda had to take care of some very pissed off experimentees who were unfortunately brainwashed beyond the point of helping them recover.

Ending the night in everyone quickly evacuating the premise with the essentials while you stayed back to blow up the base to nothing more then bricks and ash. Although during this, Bucky stayed back to shoot some freelancers who tried to take you the fuck out, with what would you know it; flame throwers.

Apparently Hydra is greatly lacking in weapons and functioning brain cells, among other things. Granted, you understood Bucky’s concern for your well-being when he ran into the fire. But oh dear lord were you not happy with him one goddamn bit.

Luckily Sam was able to pluck him out before anything fell on your idiot boyfriend while you were producing mass destruction in the giant airplane storage area. In the aftermath, you came out unharmed but covered in smudge marks and burnt off cloves yet again.

Bucky? Well he came away with a pissed off girlfriend and his life to say the least. And let’s just say the long four hour ride back was a tad bit awkward, even if you were too damn exhausted to show your irritation with Bucky. The team sure as hell knew he wasn’t going to be spared of your wrath when the jet landed.

It took approximately ten seconds for your man to shuffle out of your line of sight, using Steve as a shield to hide behind while they walked out. You had been distracted when Natasha asked for something picked up, then suddenly your mind was on Bucky. A moment later you stomped out of the Quinjet in pursuit of the one and only James Buchanan Barnes as he awaited your fury.

“James!” You growl fiercely, “You are the most fucking reckless person I’ve ever fucking met and I’m literally friends with Tony!” You snap while the rest of your teammates go about their business, trying to listen yet smartly staying out of everything.

“I know.” Mutters Bucky like a kicked puppy suffering his mother’s wrath, blue eyes looking at you with regret clearly visible on his handsome face.

“You know! You know!? Then why the fuck would you just run into the flames like that!” You shout while throwing your arms into the air in frustration, “You’re not fire proof Bucky!”

“Y/N...”

“Do you have a goddamn death wish!?” You interrupt, giving him a dumbfounded look as he glances from Steve to the floor then back to you again, trying to find something or someone with enough pity to help him. 

He finds none, “Well....no.” Your brows raise yet again at his short and annoyingly blunt answers to make up for his stupidly daring boldness. 

“Then why-ugh, whatever never mind.” You dismiss with a wave of your hand before quickly turning on your heels to walk for the metal doors into the main part of the facility, while the others keep their distance from your heated state.

“Wait Y/N, come back I’m sorry!” Exclaims Bucky desperately while you continue to ignore your reckless man, “You’re right I shouldn’t have....ugh...come on babe....shit...” Mutters Bucky as he watches you leave him in such a heated state.

“Dude just let her cool off, oh uh well....no pun intended.” Jokes Sam with a shrug as Bucky watches you stomp away in frustration, your body almost sizzling with actual flame.

“I didn’t mean to....well...ugh, shit I guess I kind of did.” Admits Bucky with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as you slam the door shut with a loud thud, “Sometimes I forget fire can’t hurt her. I should have just let her handle the burning building herself instead of going inside when she uh, told me not to.”

Steve walks out of the Quinjet with a bag in hand to greet the two, “Y/N seemed a bit...”

“Pissed off.” Adds Sam with a light chuckle as Bucky frowns at the giant glass window.

“Yeah.” Mutters Steve awkwardly as he side eyes Bucky, “Well ugh, see you guys at dinner, I think Wanda and Vision are getting takeout from somewhere.”

“See ya Steve.”

“Bye.”

Sam and Bucky watch as Steve heads for the metal doors, soon he’s gone and the two are the only Avengers left in the giant parking garage of sorts.

“She’s going to hate me for the rest of the day I know it.” Sadly mutters Bucky, already missing your beautiful face no matter what state your in.

“I wouldn’t say it’s hate.”

“She’s going to be very disappointed in me then.”

“Yeah probably.”

Bucky gives him an offended look, “You’re supposed to say something uplifting or positive.”

“Man don’t look at me for relationship advice. This is Y/N we’re talking about, just give her a couple hours she’ll simmer down.” Inquirers Sam with a friendly pat on the back before he starts walking away for the door, as casually and unbothered as ever.

Bucky keeps silent for a moment while his mind swims with what to do next, suddenly he looks up at his retreating friend, “Hey Sam!” Shouts Bucky just as Sam opens up the door, causing him to stop and give his friend a quizzical look.

“What?!”

“Fuck you!”

Sam immediately snorts, “You brought this upon yourself brother!” And with that he shuts the door leaving Bucky alone and full of regret for putting himself in danger today when you specifically told him you could handle yourself.

Why is caring for someone so hard, wonders Bucky.

——

After taking a greatly needed shower and putting on a fresh new pair of comfortable clothing for the evening, you slipped past your friends rooms and away from where Bucky may be hiding.

Until at last you made it to Natasha’s door without being caught by anyone in the hallway and stopped for a needless conversation. Soon enough you slip into Nat’s room and saunter around for a bit as you wait for her to end her shower.

“Oh shit!” Gasps Natasha as soon as she opens the door and notices you poking around her stuff, “Jesus Y/N how’d you get in here!?”

“I opened the door.”

“I thought I locked it?”

“You did.”

Natasha gives you a puzzled look as you wander over to her nightstand, nonchalantly minding your business while picking up her current novel as she watches you curiously, “So uh, how’s it going?” She asks cautiously, well aware of your irritation with Bucky earlier that day.

Flipping through the pages you answer her honestly, “I’m fine now.”

Natasha nods before turning around to search through her drawers for an outfit, “I figured that much, considering if you were still pissed you’d be throwing fireballs into the cement wall downstairs.” She quips with her usual smirk as you gently close the book and set it back in its rightful place.

“That is.....true.” You agree with a shrug, “I’m just sending a message at this point.”

“Oh really?” Laughs Natasha while slipping on a shirt, “Poor Bucky then.”

“Yeah well he was being an idiot tough guy so....it’s what I’m doing.” You add with a lopsided smug grin, “Serves him right for being reckless with no regard for his physical safety. I love him but at what cost?”

“Someone needs to tell Steve that.” Mutters Natasha as she pulls on some sweatpants.

You chuckle, “What? That someone needs to tell Steve they love him? Not a bad idea.”

“That too.” Points Natasha, “I seriously don’t know how he’s not dead yet.”

Your brows furrow in thought for a moment, “He’s built like a stone sentinel with a will greater then many, he fears nothing.” You deadpan, face stoic and serious.

“Just about.” Laughs Natasha as you begin to cackle right along with her, in the middle of your laughing fit does the door suddenly burst open to reveal...

“Hello ladies.” Chirps Tony with an award winning smile, usual old T-shirt on and hair a bit of a mess though somehow managing to keep his Stark charm.

“I really need to get an automatic lock on that thing.” Mutters Nat to no one in particular.

“What’s up Stark.” You add with an acknowledging tilt of your head, “You here to bother us or tell us something interesting?”

“Everything I say is interesting my dear sparky.” Quips Tony with a brow wiggle.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Right, anyways. Foods here.” Chides Tony as he sets a hand on his hip, “Unless you’re both too cool for movie night. More for us then, I’ll have Vision drop off our half eaten tacos.”

“We have tacos?” You ask with an intrigued raise of your brow, just wanting to confirm and make sure he’s not bluffing, you fucking love taco night.

“Yep.”

“How long have they been here?”

“Wanda and Vis just arrived so you’re the first two I found.” Oh, fuck yeah!

Turning your head to a smirking Natasha you smile back before bolting for the door, “Move Stark!” You snap before shoving him to the side and cackling as you and Natasha book it down the hall with Tony trying to keep up in the background. What can you say, Natasha always makes it a competition and its taco night. Sometimes you gotta play dirty.

Soon you and your assassin best friend who you tripped up before reaching the door finally skid into the Avengers giant lounging area. The room is relatively empty with the exception of Wanda and Vision who are seated at the large metal table near the kitchen where all the various paper bags of tacos are seated. And ripe for the taking.

Smelling absolutely delicious all tucked snug in their wrapping and filled with the most divine ingredients, you could just about die of happiness. With a beaming smile upon your face and the surprised expressions from your two friends you belt out loudly, “Tacos FUCK YEAH!” Before racing for the bags and getting tripped by Natasha.

Whipping your head up to watch her snatch a bag you growl half angrily, “You bitch.” While she happily smiles back down at you, taco in hand.

“What are you doing on the floor? Foods here.” She jokes as you quickly walk over to the counter with all the bags.

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious now give me that.”

After about ten minutes of eating and shooting the breeze with Natasha, Wanda, Vision, and Tony; you’re ears immediately catch the sounds of thundered running down the hallway and other muffled curses from two familiar individuals.

“Fun’s arrived.” Whispers Natasha with a friendly nudge to your arm as it lays on the flat surface of the table while you absentmindedly crumple up a wrapper.

Biting your lip you anticipate the impending commotion, “Fantastic.” And this whole evening could be more enjoyable if your hundred year old boyfriend would have used some common sense.

A second later the door swings open to reveal a panting Sam before Bucky slides in after him, equally as flustered, those two idiots. As they stand there collecting their breaths, Steve casually steps into the room, walking past them and over to the bags of tacos, “Aw sweet, taco night.” He confirms excitedly, hungrily eyeing up a particular bag.

Rolling your eyes, you slouch carelessly into your expensive swivel chair before turning to Wanda who’s seated across from you, “Hey, Red Riding Hood, you’re up.” She turns her attention away from Vision and nods before giving you a sly smirk and using her power to send a balled up piece of taco wrapping straight for your head.

In one calculably swift motion do you incinerate the paper material before its able to reach your face, “Y/N you’re going to set the fire detectors off.” Laughs Tony as he crumbles up a new ball.

“Eh, we could afford a renovation.”

Tony fake scoffs, “Rude.”

“Well Y/N, I thought you did great.” Applauds Wanda with a chuckle as the three other men walk around to the far end where no one is seated, “Alright Tony you next.”

You refrain from making any eye contact with Bucky who steals a few longing glances at your smiling face, instead he follows Sam and Steve to the opposite end and watches as you quickly turn another balled up paper to ash. The sounds of your laughter and the rest of the tables almost enough to drive him insane.

Yet he refrains, Bucky knows he’s essentially in time out, reason for almost getting himself killed today; and you’re not breaking anytime soon, or so he thinks.

Ignoring the three boys hungrily attacking their poor tacos away from the main groups theatrics, Vision suddenly gains your attention, “Well I suppose I should participate with this game or fear feeling left out....uh, what is the objective? Or perhaps the name?”

“They throw wrappers at me and I set them on fire before it hits myself or the ground.” You reply while crumbling up another piece, leaving Vision to process the possible deeper meaning to your brief explanation, though there really isn’t one. It’s just for fun.

“By the way I’ve been able to get her exactly once.” Brags Tony with a shit eating grin, causing you to scoff at that memory. 

“Oh fuck all the way off you flicked water into my face and then threw the paper.”

“And it was very much worth it.” He confirms as you roll your eyes at his cheating from last taco night.

The rest of your friends fill the room with snickers and some louder laughter coming from Sam down at the far end, with a raised brow you snap your head in that direction and stand, “Something funny bird boy?” You quip in a half threatening manner.

Sam’s smirk immediately drops from his face as his expression appears nonchalant, “What nooo. That was Steve.” He mutters before taking another bite out of his taco.

“Y/N that was definitely not me.”

“Uh huh.”

“Maybe it was Bucky.” Jokes Sam as you shift your fiery attention over to a fearful Bucky who quickly shakes his head before smacking Sam on the arm.

“No.” You confirm with a knowing smirk, “He doesn’t have a death wish.”

“Well neither do I please have mercy.” Pleads Sam with hands raised in defeat, “I would like to finish my taco.”

You stare down at them for a brief tension filled moment before casually shrugging, “Yeah alright.” Before sitting back down again.

——

Opening up the trash can you quickly shove down three giant paper bags from dinner with a bit of effort considering how full it is. Natasha and Vision are cleaning up in various areas nearby while Sam, Bucky, Natasha, Steve, and Tony sit in the lounging area discussing if it was necessary that Dobby was killed off in the Deathly Hallows. You know, normal things you discuss with your superpowered friends.

Well Bucky is mostly just listening and stealing glances over to you every couple of minutes, really wishing you would just walk over to him and let him show you how sorry he was with the biggest hug he could possibly muster. Probably never letting you go again, though you wouldn’t mind.

Ignoring your own longing to be cuddled up next to Bucky, you instead fight with the damn trash can to fucking shut its dumb lid already. With one hand forcefully shoving down bags, paper plates, and banana peels you start to think if volunteering for clean up was even worth it.

A blue flame suddenly erupts from your palm and makes a big black hole through the paper bags and plates, your eyes go wide in surprise as you immediately retract your hand from the trash and shut the lid just as quickly.

Taking a single step back you let out a breath before turning your head to find Bucky watching your whole ordeal go down with a drink in hand, guess he must have gotten up to get some juice and stayed for your one on one brawl with the trash can. Rolling your eyes, you wave it off, “Completely under control.” You mutter as he slowly nods.

Well this is awkward.

Shifting your gaze from Bucky to your friends and back to Bucky again, he finally speaks, “Is that why the lid has smoke coming from under it?”

“What?” You wonder in puzzlement before looking back down at the trash can to find smoke indeed rising, “Oh fuck!” Ripping the lid off you’re kindly greeted with a burst of flame and smoke. Well, shit.

“Uh, Y/N?” Asks Bucky with an uncertain chuckle, “You’re positive everything is under control?” Quips your smartass boyfriend.

With more flames rising to an almost alarming level, though not quit yet, you glance at your oblivious friends before racing for the sink, “Yes! Everything is fucking fine!” Wanda skips to the side as you snatch a cup of something from the counter by the sink.

Running back you skid in your tracks and dump the clear liquid onto the flames which causes them to rise even higher and gain the attentions of everyone sitting down and relaxing, “Why is my trash can on fire?” Asks Tony as casually as ever.

“I don’t know maybe it looks better this way?!” You sass before giving the glass a double take, “The hell? What the fuck was in this!” You shout, holding up the glass while fire burns in the trash from behind you.

“Oh that had some Quinjet fuel in it, why do you ask?” Replies Tony, he’s gotta be fucking with you.

Squinting at him in bewilderment, you shake the empty glass in frustration, “Why the fuck would there be a random glass of fuel sitting in a clear unlabeled glass on the fucking sink of all places!”

“What did you think it was?”

“Oh I don’t know!? Water?!” You snap causing the fire to roar even higher at your outburst.

Looking almost like a demon princess standing there with flames rising from behind you, your fists ball up with blue flame, something that you don’t even realize is happening as you give Tony a (what the fuck are you actually stupid) face.

Sensing your obvious irritation and rising anger, Bucky comes to the rescue with a whole bowl full of actual water and promptly dumbs it onto the flames which causes the unless materials to sizzle and whine. Soon the oranges and reds are gone, leaving the contents turned to ash and nothing more then wet soot.

Distinguishing your own flames, you hang your head low, revealing a tired heavy sigh as you mumble, “Shit.” Suddenly you feel admittedly quit drained and annoyed from the events of the day, even if they weren’t all bad.

Your friends keep silent for a moment before Steve quickly stands, “Movie night anyone?” Gaining the attention of everyone in an instant; you bless the blonde for his intuitive ways of helping you out in the smallest of moments. He truly is a great friend.

“Yeah I could watch something.” Adds Sam with a shrug, “I’m thinking Deathly Hallows Part 2.”

“Yeah it’s pretty good I’ll join.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah I’m in.”

Everyone get up and begins walking for the door as you stay standing in your spot near the wet and ash covered metal trash can, everyone exiting for the home theater except for Bucky who’s back is to you while he tells Sam you’ll be there in a minute.

Folding your arms, you suddenly feel like it’s the first time you and Bucky have ever talked one on one with each other, you’re typically a pretty damn confident and fiery person to begin with, it’s just. Being mad at your favorite human in the whole entire world and then embarrassing yourself with accidentally setting the trash can on fire can take its toll.

Also not to mention the mission many hours ago was admittedly hectic and stress inducing and then, Bucky....perhaps a moment to calm down would have been smart if taken earlier. God your life moves to damn fast.

“You are so intense sometimes.”

Breaking out of your self reflective trance, your eyes quickly dart up to see Bucky who’s giving you a soft smile, “If you wanted my attention you could have just asked.”

“Very funny.” You scoff, “I was actually too busy being mad at you.”

“Ah, right.” Nods Bucky as he mirrors your defensive positioning, deciding to cross his arms and make a pouty face like yourself, “So I guess we’ll just stay here and brood then?”

“I’m trying to make a point.” You mutter, you’re not gonna crack, you’re not gonna do it.

“I’m trying to get my girlfriend to watch a movie with me.” Admits Bucky with an affectionate head tilt as you frown, “I know they’re not going to wait for us so....uh....okay let me start over.....I’m sorry for being reckless and almost dying. And I mean it too, with all of my heart. I love you Y/N.”

Although you’d like to throw his dumb reckless ass some sass and strut away leaving him guessing and begging for more, you just can’t find it in you at this point. He looks at you with those big beautiful blue eyes full of love and adoration for you and only you, how could you possibly resist them?

You know with every ounce of your soul that he means every single word, and you also know that he’s missed you since the second you yelled at him and slammed the facility door, leaving him alone and regretting his past decisions that could have potentially ended him then and there.

“Sometimes James, sometimes.” You mutter, shaking your head in disapproval before a small smirk pulls at your lips and in that moment he knows you’re his, “Come here.”

Heeding to your wonderful command that he’s been waiting to hear all day, he swiftly makes the short distance to gather your smaller body into a giant Bucky bear hug, his strong arms wrap protectively around your back as his head falls into the side of your neck as he quickly steals a small kiss.

You pull him in even tighter and fully enjoy the sensation of himself flush against you, metal arm squeezing your rip cage and long dark hair that falls into your eyes; god you love him so much.

Giving you one last little squeeze of affection, Bucky slowly pulls away and presses his head against yours, “I gotta be honest, I have no idea what this movie is about.” Reveals Bucky as he continues to holds you close.

Chuckling you press a kiss to his lips, “I’ll tell you what’s happening. Let’s go before we miss anything else.”

Nodding, he tilts your head up to press a sweet kiss to your lips one last time before letting you go, so that the two of you can begin walking for the door. Opening up the metal and glass door for you like the gentleman that he is, Bucky quickly jogs over to your side.

“So Sam told me these guys are wizards or something? Like they can teleport and fly I think?” States Bucky in question while walking in step with you.

Looking over at him you smile at how cute he’s being right now, giving him an agreeable nod, “Yeah they can do cool stuff like change form and set things on fire.”

Bucky suddenly starts laughing much to your confusion, “Y/N does that make you a wizard?”

Shoving him to the side you snort as he keeps laughing, “Shut up.” You mutter humorously as he stumbles from your friendly push.

Making quick steps to catch up with you, Bucky pulls you into his side, “Forgive me I didn’t mean it...” Snickers your adorable idiot, “I bet you’d be the best wizard, pointy hat and all.”

Shaking your head you can’t help the smirk that tugs against your better wishes, “I’m gonna set you on fire.” You jokingly threaten him with as he affectionately squeezes your side, causing you to be pressed even closer against him.

“Wizard.” Muses Bucky as he plants a kiss to your cheek as you try and push him away.

“Bucky, shut the fuck up.”

“But, I love you.”

[sadistgalore]

Chapter 3: Welcome to Hell

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Whump alert everyone! (Quick note: my last post blew up yesterday so thank you to everybody who reblogged, liked, and gave me a follow! I'm so grateful for all of you :) Like seriously, the fact that you guys took time to actually read my writing and wrote such nice things made my day.) This is the first stop on the torture train, so I'm trying my best to write as much as I can for you guys. But alas, I have exams and college stuff I need to focus on this month, so posts might be slow. But anyways, enjoy!

CW: Kidnapping, panic attacks, isolation, starvation, exhaustion, defiant whumpee, lady whumpee, male whumper, creepy/intimate whumper, intimidation

Harper grunted as she was thrown into a small, cement wall room none too kindly. The door slammed behind her as she was getting up, and she heard a lock.

“Fucking...hell…” she muttered to herself, groaning at the sudden pain in her back when it impacted with the ground.

She managed to get herself up and fully take time to navigate her surroundings, seeing the cell she was trapped in. As she realized there were no windows, just a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling, that’s when reality sank in.

Oh god, oh no, fuck.

Take deep breaths. You’re fine you’re okay you’re gonna be-

Harper screams cut off her thoughts as a rat brushed up against her leg, causing her to jump up and scurry back to the wall as the rat scurried to an open crack.

Harper’s lips were trembling and a lump was starting to form in her throat. She tried her best to clutch the wall, looking for any form of leverage to calm her down.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen I’m supposed to be at the station why am so not at the station oh my god oh my god.

“Breathe,” she whispered. “Freaking out will only freak you out, just breathe.”

The girl took shallow, shaking breaths until she calmed herself into deep, steady ones. Taking in her predicament, she took the time to mentally prepare herself for whatever was about to happen to her.

Alright. I’m captured by the enemy, likely going to be tortured interrogated for information. I need to remain calm and not break however they hurt me, I must not betray my team.

Harper looked up, surveyed the room once more, and moved away from the wall. She stood in front of the door, and prepared for whatever came her way.

“Come get me, you bastards.”

She stood there for five minutes, then ten, then thirty. Her legs were tired by the first hour, and she finally gave in by the third. She opted to sit on the floor facing the wall, and remained there until she grew tired around the eighth hour.

Don’t fall asleep. You need to keep your guard up.

Harper yawned just as her stomach growled. She was starving; she hadn’t eaten since this morning. She was just so exhausted.

God, you’re exhausted? All you’ve been doing is standing in a room for hours. Toughen up.

Harper shook her head and tried to regain her focus. “Stay,” she yawned. “Awake...Harper.”

She stood at the door for a few more moments, then next thing she knew she fell asleep.

She woke up the next morning (or at least she thought it was morning, there were no windows) laying on her side on the cold floor.

Fuck, I fell asleep.

She quickly checked over herself to see if anything changed on her person, change of clothes, blood, but everything was kept the same. So was her empty stomach which had only gotten worse throughout the night.

Harper shut her eyes and gripped her stomach, the pain starting to become unbearable as she wasn’t used to not eating three meals a day.

“Hey!” She yelled to no one. “You have a prisoner in here!”

No one responded.

“Hello? I’m starving in here!” Some part of her told her that she shouldn't be communicating and expressing her weakness to the enemy, but she didn’t care.

She rolled her eyes and walked up to the door. She loudly banged and screamed, “Does anyone know I’m here?! Let me out!”

She continued banging her arms against the door and even tried kicking it a few times for about twenty minutes until she tired herself out. She slowly walked back to the wall and slumped to the floor, swallowing down a whimper as her stomach growled once more.

She spent the day falling in and out of naps and growing more distressed at her hunger but still, no one came into her cell. That routine continued into the next day, and the next.

She barely managed a sob as she was curled up in a corner on the fourth day, the starvation she was experiencing was absolutely horrible. She couldn’t help but think how she got here, her stupid decision might have cost her her life.

“I have to go.”

“Harper-”

Harper walked back into the supply room, sneaking in just as Alpha team was preparing to leave. She geared up and not even thinking about the consequences as she headed to her squadron car, preparing to follow the team and meet them at the crime scene.

“I don't care what they say,” she muttered to herself. “This is my life, this is my story, this is my fucking case. I am going to be the one to bring this ‘Dark’ in, and I’m going to find my brother and bring my father’s killer to justice. I don’t care what that stupid chief says, I don’t care what Nic or Beth think, they don’t know what I’ve fucking gone through.”

“Oh, your poor soul,” a voice said from behind her and the detective quickly turned around to see just the man she was going after.

“You…” she whispered.

“You,” he said back in a much more seductive tone than hers.

But the first word she said was all that Harper could manage. She couldn’t believe that she was standing in front of the man that had ruined her life but yet, she couldn’t do anything but just stand there.

He stepped closer. “You grow more beautiful with age, Harper.”

She remained standing, struggling to get words out. “W-what?”

The man, Dark, chuckled. “You know, I’ve been watching you for a long time, ever since I saw you in that circus show.”

He continued slowly walking towards her. “You were only 14 but damn, you were the most beautiful soul I had ever met. And now,”

He laughed again as he noticed her slight trembling once he was right in front of her. “Well, you’re just fucking perfect.”

“I-I don’t understand?-”

“You don’t need to. All you need to know that the wait is over, and you’re mine.”

With that, Harper snapped out of her trance, and slowly reached for her combat knife behind her back. “The only person I belong to is me,” she said defiantly.

“No anymore, sweetheart,” he said, looking down where her hand was reaching.

Harper glared for just a second longer than threw her arm at him with the knife in hand, but Dark swiftly caught her wrist, stopping just a few inches from his own face. Harper then went to give him a right hook, to which he twisted the knife holding arm behind her back, maneuvering her body around until both arms were locked behind her.

“Let...me...go! You..ugh-bastard!” She grunted as she threw herself off of him before quickly turning back around to meet face to face with the man’s gun.

“I’m not playing, little dove. Stand down.”

Harper nodded and raised her hands defeated. Dark smiled at her loss, then nodded his head to the two men standing at a separate spot in the garage, now walking towards the couple.

“You won’t get away with this,” the girl promised as her arms were handcuffed behind her back.

“Oh trust me,” he chuckled again, then leaning right into her face he said, “I will.”

The next thing Harper knew was her struggle to breathe as a cloth was tightly pressed against her mouth and nose, and then she blacked out.

Now Harper was leaning back against the way and she loudly groaned, “Fuuuuck.”

Great job, Harp! You just HAD to go off on your own and try to be a hero, huh? Now you’re at the mercy of a freaking pervert!

“Damn it!” She yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. She angrily got up and walked over to the door.

“Hey, asshole! You can’t do this, I’m not your fucking property! And I swear you’re going to pay for what you did to my family!”

She yelled curses for about ten minutes until she grew exhausted again. She couldn’t go another day without any food.

So again she laid on the floor, but something else was making her stomach hurt other than the hunger.

When she woke up on the fifth day, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please, someone bring me food.” She waited a few moments, but still no one came.

“Please!” She yelled louder. “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t yell, I won’t curse, but please someone just give me food!”

She was almost in hysterics and still, no one came.

“Please,” she went back to whispering. “Please, I’ll be good. I d-don’t wanna die, please.”

Just as she was about to pass out, the cell door unlocked and a man walked in. He walked over to the wall, kneeled down, and gently lifted up her face with his hand.

“Good girl,” he said as he snapped his fingers, which brought a guard in carrying a tray of food.

Dark lifted her up and leaned back against the wall, with her weight on top of his chest. Though Harper’s daze, she could tell the food looked and smelled like shit, but she made no protest as her captor brought a spoonful to her lips.

Almost as if he read her mind, he spoke up. “I know the food isn’t your first choice right now, but it’s what you deserve. If you were quiet and cooperative like this on the first day, I would’ve brought you some spaghetti and meatballs. I know it’s your favorite.”

It was.

“See, this is how things are going to work here, little dove,” he started as he continued spoon feeding her while caressing his hand through her hair. “If you behave and do what I tell you to do, you’ll be rewarded. But if you keep up this defiant streak,”

He put the spoon down and roughly grabbed her hair, forcing her to look up at him. “You’ll see my not so nice side. Understand?”

Harper slowly nodded, fearing if she didn’t she wouldn’t get any more food.

Dark didn’t look satisfied as he dropped her head back down. “We’ll have to work on how you address me. Can’t say I blame you, your training begins tomorrow after all.”

With that, the man got up, carrying the plate of food with him. Harper whimpered as she wasn’t yet satisfied with her meal.

Dark turned back around when he heard her, and gave her a mock pout. “Aw, it’s okay. You just need to learn, little dove.”

“Everything you get here is what you deserve. Everything that happens to you is your fault. Next time, don’t give me such a fucking attitude, got it?

He didn’t care what her response was as he walked back out, locking the door behind him.

Harper just stared at the door in shock, not really processing what had just happened.

“Training?”

[dastardlydandelion]

Please post the sickfic prompt turned corpse disposal. 😂

sure! that one’s p bloodless, i can post that one. 

ao3 link 

content warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced spousal abuse, minimally described fresh dead body, illness description 

Billy isn’t sick.

Billy doesn’t get sick. He really doesn’t. Hasn’t had so much as a cold in years, albeit he’s claimed one as cover here and there whenever coke overuse made him maybe sorta sniffly and Neil started to eye him up like he might be suspicious.

Billy isn’t sick.

If he’s feeling achy, well, he’s just sore because Neil laid the belt on him pretty hard two days ago after he got sent home from school midday Monday, written up and suspended. If he’s coughing, well, it’s just because he’s been smoking more than usual. Neil’s been stressed out lately, so that means Billy’s stressed out too.

“No,” his father says sharply when Billy takes a seat at the breakfast table.

And Billy blinks at him, confused but careful.

“You’re not going to sit with us and cough all over the food like a human biohazard. I raised you to show more courtesy than that.” Neil gives him a stern look. “Go back to bed.”

“I’m not even—“

“Go back to bed, Billy.”

Billy hears the warning heighten in his father’s tone. He doesn’t argue. He hauls himself back to his bedroom and it’s whatever. He wasn’t really hungry anyway.

* * * 

Okay, so Billy is sick.

He got himself suspended because he felt something coming on. He knows his body. He was feeling off kilter and sluggish, uncomfortable in the chest when he inhaled too deeply. So he put his boots on the desk in history class and flipped the teacher the bird when she asked him to sit properly. Even went the extra mile and sneered, told her to blow him when her jaw hit the floor.

He figured it’d buy him enough time to recover without having to call in sick, or get in trouble for skipping class. A suspension was one indiscretion and only likely to invoke one punishment. Skipping multiple days would’ve been multiple indiscretions and more likely to invoke multiple punishments.

In retrospect he should’ve just called in sick because the whole point of avoiding that route was avoiding having to admit it, but he can’t really hide it. Whatever he’s got came on hard and fast, doubled-down by Monday evening. It hasn’t gotten any better. Billy feels bad all over, the cough is near constant, and he’s shaking with chills. Puts his leather jacket on before he buries himself under the blankets and still can’t get warm.

And the coughing, ugh, the fucking coughing. Billy knows he’s being loud. He tries to hold it in but he just can’t. Spasm after spasm squeezes his lungs until they’re aching for air. His chest feels like it’s full of swamp muck and all he can do is ride it out, clutch at his ribs until he makes it to the oxygen on the other side.

Billy should get up. He should make himself get off his ass, go buy some cough drops or at least refill his glass of water. He’s going to make it happen. He’s definitely going to make it happen…just maybe not yet.

He never really gets around to it. Spends most of the afternoon slogging through coughs and trying to get comfortable even though it doesn’t really matter which way he tosses or turns, he’s still cold to the bone, chest stabbing with every burdened breath. The day drags and Billy catches snippets of the other members of the household moving about, knows it’s evening when Neil sticks his head in.

“I dug this out of the cabinet for you,” he announces, holding up a blue container. “Vapor rub. It’ll calm your cough down. Help you sleep.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

His father pads across the carpet, sets the container down on Billy’s nightstand, right within reach. He hovers uncertainly, eyes narrowed. Opens his mouth to say something and maybe he does, but Billy doesn’t catch it, snapping upright to bury another flurry of coughs into his closed fist. It’s a forceful fit and before he knows it, his father’s thumping him on the back. He’s probably trying to help but the heel of his hand connects with one of the bruises the belt buckle left and Billy can’t stop himself before he flinches.

Neil retracts his hand, leaves without another word. Billy rakes in breath at the coda of the coughs, air scraping against his roughshod throat. He goes as deep as he can even though it hurts, snatches the container of vapor rub.

Billy begins to unscrew the lid and notices some of the ointment is crusted under the lid. It flakes off. This stuff looks old. Billy checks the date on the label. Sure enough, it’s been expired for close to a year.

He throws it across the room in frustration, watches it bounce off the wall. Lies back down and pulls the covers up to his chin.

At some point Neil bangs on his door and demands he cut out the racket, probably thinking Billy rebuffed his generosity. Billy’s too exhausted to bother explaining the shit’s expired. Instead he turns his face into the pillow and smothers his fits into the fabric, hoping it muffles the sounds.

* * * 

Sometime later Thursday morning, Susan knocks on his door. Billy contemplates pretending to be asleep. Really, he wishes he was. He’s feeling pretty rundown but he can’t seem to get more than a wink before he wakes up coughing.

But if he doesn’t answer it now, she’ll probably just bother him later. So Billy plods to the door and pulls it open.

“What?”

“Um,” Susan begins eloquently, blinking at him as she fiddles with the thin object in her hands. A thermometer.

“Neil tell you to do this?”

“N-No, but, uh. It’s probably a good idea to check your temperature. No offense, Billy, but you don’t sound so good and you’re awfully flush…”

“If I cared, I’d check myself,” he snorts irritably. “Try to stick that under my tongue and I’ll break it in half. Save your mother hen shit for Max.”

With that, he slams the door in her face. They’ve no love for each other. On infrequent occasions Susan will forget this and make some half-assed attempt to get closer to him. Billy’s always quick to remind her where they stand. It doesn’t take much.

Afternoon rolls around without Susan bugging him anymore. Billy isn’t a big reader but he doesn’t feel up to much else between increasingly productive coughing bouts that leave him hacking up gross, greenish globs into his small wire mesh trashcan. So he flips through some music magazines and the book he’s supposed to read for english class until he gathers enough energy to kick himself into gear.

He didn’t bother changing out of his clothes yesterday so he doesn’t need to change now. Just sprays himself with some cologne, figures he probably smells because he’s sweating nonstop. Discomforting drenching cold sweats like getting caught outside in icy rains, an experience Billy was blissfully unfamiliar with until Neil decided to leave sunny California behind.

He browses the small medical selection at Melvald’s, grabs a couple bags of cherry flavored lozenges  and a bottle of cough syrup. Covers a couple fits with the crook of his elbow on the way to the counter. He swallows the gunk that comes up because there’s nowhere to spit it into and scrunches his nose in disgust, feels like freaking slime sliding down his throat.

It’s the town cuckoo who rings him up. Or that’s her reputation anyway but she doesn’t seem particularly nutty to Billy. Hell, seems less weird than Susan does when she’s doing shit like talking to the spiders she takes outside.

“Time to go, Little Creepy Crawly,” she’d singsonged last week, shaking a daddy longlegs out of her tissue on the front porch. “Go be free.”

“You need fucking friends,” Billy had told her after the fact. Sound advice, he’d thought. Susan only ducked her head and disappeared into the next room.

Town Cuckoo gives the amount. Billy digs through his wallet and comes up two dollars short. Ugh. Fucking brandname linctuses. Shit’s a ripoff but there was no generic equivalent on the shelf.

She tells Billy it’s on the house, forehead crinkling just a bit as she studies him, eyes all melty with sympathy. Screw that shit. Billy isn’t anybody’s charity case. He gives her a pointed glower as he stamps a five down on the counter, takes the two bags of lozenges, and leaves.

He eats through half of the first bag until his throat tingles with menthol and artificial sweetness, and actually manages to sleep for a few solid hours. He knows it’s been hours because when he wakes himself coughing, it’s dark out. Nighttime.

Billy curls inward with the spasms, tries to catch his breath between stabbing pains. This sucks so much. He’s hacking up more gunk. Attempts to rub some of the discomfort from his heavy, congestion leaden chest to no avail.

He just keeps coughing and coughing and he knows before long, Neil’s going to get in his shit about the noise so he forces himself to throw off the covers. His bruises are still healing. He doesn’t need any more.

Billy crams his feet in his boots and drags himself down the hall. To his surprise, Susan’s sitting at the kitchen table. She’s crying. The sobs wrack her whole body the way the coughs wrack his and her cheeks are blotched cherry red just like his lozenges, tear tracks shining under the kitchen light. It throws him, really. He’s lived with Susan for years and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her cry. She just. Doesn’t show much emotion at all, let alone displays like this.  

Billy watches it the way he’d watch a car crash. Susan doesn’t even notice him until he’s coughing again. He curls his fist around his mouth, muffles them as best he can. Fumbles for his car keys when he’s made it through to the other side.

“Where could you possibly be going?” Susan asks, her voice thick, like there’s a bubble in her throat.

Maybe Neil hit her. Billy’s seen it so he knows it happens sometimes even though he’s pretty sure it’s not often. Not like how Neil hits him. Or hit his own mother. Susan is probably Neil’s favorite, obedient like a well trained dressage horse following all of his cues. Isn’t anything like his own mom who defied Neil like a wild mustang he couldn’t tame, who went braless and smoked hash with the hippies, screamed her lungs out at Neil in furious harpy volumes and called him names no matter how mad it made him. Who did her best to give back as good as she got even outmatched, even if it made him madder, throwing things or fists or swinging Billy’s Little League bat.

Susan is submissively behaved and tepid tempered, always wears her bra under the clothes Neil buys her in the fashions he prefers her in. Susan speaks softly and sweetly, never stays out unscheduled and doesn’t smoke anything at all, always smells like floral perfumes and lotions, never ever, ever like cigarettes or marijuana or other men’s cologne. When Neil hits Susan she goes slack and sloth and silent, and does not lift a finger to fight. It is the only thing she and Billy have in common.

“Nowhere,” he answers. “Gonna sleep in the car before Neil gets on me about making noise.”

“Billy, it’s too cold for that…besides, Neil isn’t going to wake up yet.”

“How do you know?”

What, does Susan think she’s a fucking fortune teller now?

Sure enough, she doesn’t have a straight answer for him. She stumbles over syllables that don’t shape into sentences and the last thing Billy feels like doing is indulging her.

“Pfft. That’s what I thought. By the way, you’re ugly when you cry.” Billy glares at her until she turns away, timid, bowing her head. He heads out to the Camaro, gets in the driver’s seat and pulls it back.

Yeah, it’s cold out but he can’t get warm inside under the blankets anyway. Neil’s already in a bad mood. He’d only barked about the racket last night but his father’s bite is worse than his bark and Billy knows better than to expect a second warning.

* * * 

Friday morning, the frosty air scrapes Billy’s throat raw and makes him cough so, so hard. He’s beyond done with this shit, fuck everything. He takes shallow breaths to avoid the pangs of going too deep. The coughing still brings up gunk he spits out and he can feel the congestion crackling in his chest like thick, goopy molasses drowning his lungs, sticking between every rung of his ribcage.

It’s actually. Kind of. Beginning to concern him.

Is being sick normally like this?

Billy hasn’t been sick in so long, he seriously doesn’t know. But it’s been days and he’s not feeling any better. He feels worse. He really does. Breathing has become a grueling travail. Even to his own ears, his exhales sound wet and ratty. The coughing was a nuisance when it first came on but now it’s just downright exhausting.

But.

Well. He’s gotta be okay. He’s too young to be like, seriously sick. It’s probably just one of those things where it’s going to get worse before it gets better. A lot of things are like that, right?

Everything gets worse before it gets better. He’s fine. He’s definitely fine.

Billy goes inside. Everyone’s at the breakfast table and he doesn’t take a seat because he’s a biohazard and Neil already looks dour. Susan’s pouring him coffee. Max nibbles at a piece of toast. She has a cut on her cheek that wasn’t there when Billy saw her yesterday. Doesn’t look bad, just a simple scratch stretched under her eye, but when he peers closer is that…is that a bruise?

Yes. It’s pretty small. Faint. He would’ve missed it entirely if the thin red thread of her cut wasn’t so stark against Max’s pasty skin.

He’s smart enough not to ask in front of Neil. He doesn’t say anything. Gets the juice from the fridge and pours himself a glass. He’s two sips in before he has to set it aside, covering his mouth as another fit takes hold.

Neil is glaring when he makes it through. Right. Don’t cough around the food. Billy isn’t even sitting with them but whatever. He’s not gonna poke the bear. Heads off to Max’s room and waits.

Eventually she comes in to get her backpack, frowning at his presence. “What’re you doing in here?”

“What happened to your face?”

“Geez, Billy, you sound terrible.” Her nose crinkles.

“I asked you a question, Max.” Billy impatiently twirls his finger, slightly annoyed. He already knows he sounds bad, doesn’t need to be reminded.

Max turns away from him with a shrug, starts stuffing her textbooks into the bag. “I fell on the pond yesterday when I was playing with my friends. Where I fell…the ice wasn’t smooth. It was rough and it scratched.”

Billy narrows his eyes and measures her up. It isn’t a particularly unlikely story. But he wants to be sure.

“You’d tell me if it was Neil, right?”

“…of course I’d tell you if it Neil.” Max looks up from messing with her stuff and faces him with clear resolution in her gaze. “Neil hits you all the time so if he hit me, you’d be the first person I’d tell.”

Billy keeps his eyes on her as he goes over what she said. She doesn’t look like she’s lying. She doesn’t sound like she’s lying. Besides, Neil’s striking hand probably would’ve left a bigger bruise and he can’t place anything on it that would’ve scratched her skin like that. Neil’s fingernails are short and blunt, smoother than Billy’s, which get jagged when he bites. He doesn’t wear rings beyond his wedding band, and his is smooth silver, no shiny rock cut in the middle like Susan’s.

“Alright,” he concedes, turns to leave.

The coughing fit hits heavy, like a wrecking ball to the chest. Billy hangs onto the doorframe with one hand, covers his mouth with the other. It’ll pass. It’ll pass. It’ll pass.

Christ, he’s sick of being sick.

It passes. Billy keeps his grip on the doorframe as he works on drawing in air.

“You okay?” Max asks from behind.

And he can’t actually answer that just yet, still catching his breath.

“You sound really gross, like you’re literally dying.”

“I’m not…I’m fine…even run you to school, if you want.” Billy relaxes his grip on the doorframe and turns back to her.

“Oh.” Max perks up at that, eyes bright. “Yeah, can you?”

She lowers her voice as she adds, “I’m mad at my mom. I don’t really wanna ride with her.”

Billy doesn’t ask what for. It’s probably something stupid. Susan getting after her for not zipping up her coat or touching yellow snow or some other dumb shit. He’s too tired to care, really.

“Sure I can, s’what I just said, isn’t it? Finish getting your stuff together, bus leaves in five.”

* * *

Billy does’t go home for a long time. After dropping Max off, he just sits in the parking lot for awhile, rests his head against the steering wheel while the heat blasts from the vents. He’s got it all the way up and he’s so sweaty his hair’s plastered to the back of his neck, but he’s still freaking cold.

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve this.

Or.

Okay, maybe he does.

Eventually he pulls out of the parking lot, drives around listening to music just to be doing something. Winds up in another lot, an empty lot, where the rumor is they’re going to build a mall next year. Billy hopes so. Hawkins is mind-numbingly boring. Sometimes he just wants to scream about it, set fire to the fucking cornfields and scream at the top of his lungs.

His lungs aren’t really up to screaming right now though. Neither is his throat, really, tender from coughing spasm after coughing spasm tearing it up. Billy doesn’t know if he’s even been this sick.

He’s even considering bringing it up to his dad, maybe even. Asking Dad for help. And that.

That means he’s either desperate or delirious, and neither is a particularly reassuring thought.

Fuck.

Billy despises the fact it even crossed his mind. He can’t go to Neil. He won’t. That’s stupid. Neil would probably just dig him out some more expired vapor rub. Definitely wouldn’t take him to a doctor, at least not until the bruises heal. Maybe he’d compromise and get him the cough syrup Billy didn’t have enough cash for…

Between musings, Billy finds himself squeezed in another fit that pummels his chest like invisible fists. It’s so bad he’s left battling for just a breath of air, so forceful for one very scary second he’s even worried he won’t get it. That the coughing will go on and on, and he’ll never take another breath again. That they’ll find his body right here in the empty lot where maybe the mall will be one day.

Except the coughing eventually does subside and Billy does manage to get some air. But the fit spooks him a little. Takes enough out of Billy that he decides he’s probably going to have to go to Neil. Shit.

He puts it off as long as he can. Doesn’t even go home until he knows everyone is done with dinner. To his surprise, Neil isn’t watching tv. Billy heads down the hall. The light is on under Max’s door. The light is on under the master bedroom door too. Billy hesitates before knocking.

Does he really need to go to Neil?

Maybe he was exaggerating when he was worried earlier. Billy’s hand retracts from the door. It's promptly clamped around his mouth for what must be the hundredth time. He’s hacking hard into his palm, chest throbbing.

He doesn’t actually mean to open the door. But he grabs the knob for support and jerks when the metal is shockingly cold under his fingers. The next thing Billy knows, he’s stumbling over the threshold.

Susan whips toward him, eyes as wide as dinner plates and mouth frozen open in horror. At first Billy thinks it’s him. She’s so disgusted she’s horrified by him and his biohazard germs and any second Neil’s going to pick his head up from the bed and bark at Billy for intruding without so much as a knock, and then—

Then his eyes fall to the long bloodied baiting needle in Susan’s suddenly trembling hands.

“S-Self d-defense,” she quavers, backing away, that needle outward in her shaky, shaky hands almost like she thinks Billy’s going to advance on her. “It was s-self defense, B-Billy, I had to.”

Because Neil’s still motionless, facedown on the bed even though his son’s still coughing, making a racket and expelling biohazard bacteria in his very bedroom. He’s still coughing, fuck, his eyes are watering, but they aren’t so watery he can’t see what’s right in front of him. Billy plants a hand down against the dresser and tries to breathe.

“Self defense,” he rasps at the end of the fit, blinking at the acupuncture kit open inches away from his hand on the dresser.

“S-Slightly preemptive self defense,” Susan amends, swallowing. “Make no m-mistake, I had to. I had to, he— he was right on the verge of a b-blowup. You know your father, Billy.”

That is true. Billy knows his father well. He doesn’t speak to Susan as he shuffles up to the bed. Gulps down some of the gunk in his throat, grazes his father’s cheek with his fingertips. There’s blood welled up in a hole at the base of his skull but he’s warm, kinda, so maybe Susan didn’t kill him after all. He moves his fingers to feel for a pulse.

It isn’t there. Neil’s dead? Neil’s really dead?

“Dad?” he tries. It comes out a hoarse squeak. He clears his throat and tries again. “Dad? Dad, c’mon.”

Billy jostles his father’s shoulder. It yields no response. The bare skin is still warm, deceptively so. There’s not so much as a flicker of life beneath it.

“Holy shit,” Billy gasps.

Susan presses back against the wall, eyes still very wide, clutching that baiting needle so tight her knuckles are blanched. Her hands shake and shake.

“What are you going to do?” she asks in a whisper.

“What am I going to go?” Billy echoes. “I— I don’t know! What are you going to do? Call the cops?”

Because even if her self defense was preemptive, to use her description, maybe it’d still fly. Billy has bruises. Maybe Susan has some too hidden under that deep cranberry dress.

“Cops?” Susan’s mouth tightens as her head gives a firm shake. “Of course not. Don’t you know what police are like? Your father would’ve fit right in.”

Billy considers this as he coughs, stuffing them into the sleeve of his leather jacket. He can’t say his own experience with the law has ever been positive. And Neil was a security guard. What’s a security guard if not a wannabe cop?

“You planned this,” Billy heaves out when he’s done coughing.

“I’m….I mean, y-yes, but I—“

“What was your plan?” Billy interrupts. “Where were you going to go from here?”

“I didn’t expect you to show up,” Susan says, soft and frowning.

“I live here,” Billy points out and he laughs. Strange, strained laughter peals out of him until it triggers another bout of coughing because. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“Oh, Billy…do you want some water? Maybe you should sit down.”

“Where?” he rasps between coughs. “Next to my dead dad?!”

“Keep your voice down,” Susan urges, waving the needle like a conductor’s baton. “Max is still awake.”

Billy wipes the perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand. Stares at Susan as he does his best to take even breaths.

“You’re wheezing.”

“You’re deflecting,” he fires back. “What are you going to do?”

“Um, uh…chop him up,” Susan admits quietly. “I’d p-planned to chop him up.”

“That’ll make a mess,” Billy blurts out, blunt.

“Messy, yes, but it’s the easiest way. I can’t exactly carry him.”

Billy touches the small of Neil’s bare back, skims his fingertips between hair thin acupuncture needles. He probes at the small of his own back, winces when dull pain pulses through the bruise. His throat is thick with something other than phlegm and his heart is racing rabbity fast. In this moment, Billy makes a decision.

“Not by yourself.”

Susan gapes.

“Where we taking him?” Billy asks.

“I…I honestly didn’t have an exact location mind, but farther away. Not here in Hawkins, the town is too small.” Susan swallows again and tugs at her sleeve. “I planned to bag his parts in pieces and drive a few hours out and spend the night disposing of the bags in different areas.”

That makes sense, he thinks.

“Sometimes I go to this gay bar about two hours away. Pretty big dumpster in the back.”

Billy tries to hit it at least once a month, if he can save up enough of his allowance for gas. Sometimes he collects enough chump change from idiots at school who forget to close their lockers, and isn’t above duping people outta their dough by turning on the charm, either. His interest in girls isn’t exclusive, he finds a helluva lotta guys interesting too. It’s just nice to get out of fucking Nowheresville even on the nights he doesn’t end up fooling around with anybody.

Susan looks absolutely bewildered.

“Gay bar,” he repeats slowly. “You know. Pride pub, homo hub?”

“I know what a gay bar is, Billy. Why on earth are you going to one?”

“Gee, I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m secretly a drag queen bingo champion,” Billy scoffs in annoyance and it turns into a cough. The one sets off a fit.

“Billy, um…I don’t, um. I’m not judging your preference in partners or your private life, but you’re too young to be going to the bar. Any bar. It’s not legal, you’re a teenager.”

Jesus, he can hardly breathe. He feels like he’s going to fall over. Maybe he actually should’ve sat down next to his dead dad.

“Oh dear. I’m— I’m going to get you some water.”

Billy doesn’t fall over. He has good stamina. He’s hard to knock over, prides himself on that fact. He makes it through the fit upright. His chest is sore from the stabbing and he’s a little dizzy, perhaps from fatigue or breathlessness, but he’s steadfast.

Billy accepts the glass Susan holds out to him upon her return. Her fingers feel like icicles as they brush his and he suppresses a shiver. Takes slow sips and finds a little relief. Eventually sets the glass down on the dresser when he’s done.

“Technically, it’s not me who goes to the bar. You’re right, I’m not twenty-one yet. But Jason Scott on the other hand, well, he’s twenty-five.” Billy fishes his wallet out and frees his fake ID from its fold. “Looks pretty legit, right?”

Susan silently studies the piece of plastic and worries her lip between her teeth.

“But we don’t actually have to go into the bar to put my dad’s body in the dumpster anyway. I mean, going inside would really be a pretty bad idea…”

“Indeed it would, but I’m glad you showed this to me. It wouldn’t be smart to put Neil anywhere you or I associate with at all. But if you’re not actually associated, it’s an option.”

“It’d take less time than the way you were gonna go about it. Cleaner too.”

Susan nods her agreement. “However, I still might…mm, Billy. I’m not sure if you’re going to like this. But in order to prevent him from being identified, I think I’m going to chop off his head…and his hands. Well, perhaps those I’ll just burn with the clothes iron, um. Either way, his fingerprints need to be destroyed.”

Billy’s gut lurches as he soaks it in. It sounds logical. He can’t deny that, but something about the idea of his dad’s decapitation doesn’t sit. Kinda gives him the heebie-jeebies. And that’s weird. That’s really weird because he’s okay with everything else.

Well.

Okay, maybe he’s not okay with it, but. He understands it. It’s Neil. Of course he understands the bruises she may or may not be hiding, the fear in her heart regardless.

“Do you have to chop his head off? Can’t you just smash his face in?”

“I considered that,” Susan says, nodding again. “Those cast iron lion bookends on the shelf are nine pounds each. I weighed them this morning.”

Billy likes the sound of that better. Neil is going to be dead and disfigured either way. He’s not sure why it makes a difference. Maybe it doesn’t, really. He thinks he might have a fever. Maybe the fever’s just getting to him, making him a little loopy and pulling his thoughts in less than rational directions.

“I could do that part,” he offers. It’d probably take him less time to bash Neil’s face in than it’d take Susan. He has more physical prowess, after all, more power to put behind the blows.

“Are you up for that?” she asks, eyeing him skeptically.

“Yes,” he snaps, somewhat defensive. He’s sick but he’s not helpless.

Billy’s claim isn’t undermined by the brief bout of coughing that overtakes him. He halts the reflex to clutch his ribs. Not now, not in front of her. Especially not with what they have to do.

“There’s two bookends,” Susan points out, seems a little nervous as she watches him cough. “We could take turns.”

With that, she disappears from view. Billy hacks some more gross globs into his hand and for convenience’s sake, just wipes it off on his jeans. When Susan comes back, she has one of those big black contractor trash bags. Spreads it out on the bed beside Neil’s form.

They roll him together and Billy doesn’t know what to make of what he feels when he actually sees his father’s face, features devoid and dead. Very, very dead. Tears do not sting his eyes. They just well up watery because he’s coughing again, battling for breath again, so, so wrung and exhausted, lungs like sodden sponges sopped with sputum.

Then he’s holding the bookend, cast iron artistically sculpted, the maned king of the jungle bearing his teeth in a roar. Billy looks at his father’s dead face and hesitates for only a heartbeat. When he brings the heavy object down, he puts all the force he can muster behind it and it makes an utterly atrocious noise Billy will never forget, but—

Some part of him has always wanted to do this. For that part of him, it is the only thing he’s ever truly wanted. And when Susan takes her turn Billy watches her face and realizes, oh, going slack and sloth and silent with the taste of Neil Hargrove’s hand isn’t the only thing they share at all.

* * * 

They wait until late to don gloves and roll Neil up in the shower liner. They stuff him in the bed of his own truck for transport. Billy takes the torso end because it’s heavier, Susan hefts him under the legs. Billy drives because he knows the way even though it’s the last thing he feels like doing.

It goes mostly okay. He only has a paroxysm bad enough to make him pull over once.

Susan reaches across the seats and rubs his shoulder. Billy’s too busy getting his breath to shrug her off.

“I’m sure you’re not going to love this idea, but I think it’s time to see a doctor. This could be bronchitis, Billy, or even pneumonia.”

“Pneumonia isn’t real,” Billy grouses tiredly. “It’s like the boogeyman. Just some story old people made up so their grandkids wouldn’t play in the rain and track mud all over the house.”

“Uh…um.” She blinks owlishly, forehead creasing. “No, that’s not quite accurate…”

“I’m screwing with you, Susan.” Because that’s easier than conceding to her.

It would’ve been one thing with Neil. As fucked up as things were, Neil was his dad. Neil was supposed to take care of him.

But Susan. Susan is different. Susan is mostly Max’s weird mom who displays about as much emotion as a mannequin whenever she isn’t (wasn’t) dancing on Neil’s puppet strings or talking to the spiders as she shakes them free from soft tissues. Albeit tonight is a game changer. They’re very literally partners in crime now.

“We could even go to the ER after this,” she suggests uncertainly, wary edge to her tone.

“That’s for emergencies. I can wait.”

“If you’re sure.” Susan hums in her throat and draws her hand away.

They have good timing. The bar’s been closed for almost an hour by the time they get there and all the cars have cleared out. Billy backs up to the dumpster so he and Susan can stand on the bed and lift Neil in that way, rather than having to drag his deadweight out and struggle to raise his cumbersome bulk up over the side.

He doesn’t want to be out here any longer than he has to. Whole thing gives him the heebie-jeebies. He feels like a cop is about to pull up any second now and frankly, it’s cold as fuck. He’s cold as fuck.

Not as cold as the unearthly chill that seems to pierce through the plastic liner when Billy lifts his father’s trunk for the second time tonight.

“Do you feel that?” he irresistibly asks Susan, watching her adjust her grip on Neil’s legs and searching her face for the eeriness he’s feeling.

“Feel what?” Susan asks, frowning.

Death itself? Billy doesn’t know.

“Nothing, it’s…just cold, I guess.”

“Oh, Billy, I think you have the chills.”

And he knows he does but it’s not the same thing. He doesn’t comment any more on it. Together they get Neil up on the metal rim of the open dumpster, push him over. Garbage crunches and crinkles beneath his deadweight. Billy feels another coughing fit coming on and manages to suppress it until he gets back inside the truck.

“Do you want me to drive home?” Susan asks.

“No. I know the way better, it’s easier if I do it.”

“You could, um. I mean, you could direct me if I get a little turned around. You’re looking pretty tuckered out.” It’s dark but Billy can hear the frown in her voice.

“Alright,” he sighs out. “Fine.”

Because she’s not wrong. He’s drained at this point. Shoving his dad’s body in the dumpster spent the last store of energy he had. He and Susan swap places. She doesn’t have much trouble once she actually gets back on the main road.

“Thank you,” she murmurs eventually. “If I had to do this myself, I’d still be in the middle of it.”

“Yeah…sure thing, I guess.” She killed his dad. No big deal. Billy blinks, isn’t sure what else to say.

“…so, um…you like the fellas, huh?” she asks, voice light and not a bit unkind.

“Uh-huh." He shrugs. "Guys, girls, I mean, I'm not that picky. A hole’s a hole, a mouth’s a mouth, fingers are fingers.”

Susan chokes on a scandalized gasp and Billy gets a chuckle out of it, even as it turns into a cough.

“That’s, uh. T-That’s certainly crude.”

And it’s funny really, that Susan seems more creeped out by a boorish comment than she did by holding his dead dad’s corpse legs.

By the time they get home, Billy’s so beyond spent he knows he can’t even make it to his room. Doesn’t bother to try. Collapses on the couch cushions without attempting to take his boots off. Smothers what has to be the goddamn millionth round of coughs into the throw pillow.

When he picks his head up, Susan’s standing there, fiddling with the thermometer again, fretful expression on her features. Oh, fuck it. Fine. Billy bites the bullet and takes it from her, begrudgingly jamming the thing under his tongue.

[leviskokoro]

Mari in Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Heartslabyul

Chapter 1

Mari had her first prophetic dream and she’s like owo whats this

It was about Alice seeing the Card soldiers paint the white roses red and shit. 

But then, she was awoken by a loud knocking and wonders who it could possibly be at this hour. 

Grim and her decided to go down. Though, she tried finding a weapon first, just in case the person turns out to be some murderer or whatever. Manages to find a knife

They went downstairs to the front door and opened it to see who it was. Turns out that it was Ace. 

She relaxes and lets her guard down.

Ace: Is that a knife?!

Mari: Yeah, what if you were a murderer? 

Grim: Hah! I would’ve taken care of it myself, puny human— Huh?! You got a collar on!

“I ate a tart,” Ace replied, crossing his arms with a scowl on his features. 

Mari tilted her head in confusion and curiosity. “A tart?” 

He nodded. “I was hungry when I got back to the dorm and I found some tarts inside the fridge. Three whole tarts! So I ate one and it was really good. Then the dorm leader found me eating his tart and was all like “Tart theft is unforgivable! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and that’s how I got this collar… The end.” He used a shrill and high-pitched voice to imitate his dorm leader’s words. 

She couldn’t help but stand in silence at that story, squinting. 

“Both of you are in the wrong,” Grim simply remarked with an unamused look on his face. To which the girl nodded in agreement. 

“Isn’t sealing away my magic for stealing a tart a bit too far?!” Ace cried out. “For a wizard, it’s like having your arms and legs chained up. And there were three whole tarts, it’s not like he could eat all of them by himself. There’s got to be a limit to how narrow-minded you could be!” 

“Which is why you’re both in the wrong,” Mari retorted, “You should’ve asked permission first, but he also shouldn’t be so harsh.” 

All he could do was groan at her reply. 

Grim’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms. “What if the tarts were for a party? Someone’s birthday, or something. Heh, I’m a genius.” He grinned, sharp teeth glinted in the moonlight. 

“Birthday?” Ace asked, placing his hand on the back of his head. 

“That might explain why he was so angry,” Mari said, deciding to clean up a little more since she was awake. The two just watched as she did this, not helping because they were little shits.

He huffed, narrowing his eyes at her. “I thought you were gonna say he was being tyrannical, prefect.” 

She shrugged. “He was certainly being unreasonable, but it’s wrong to steal,” she replied as she took a broom and sweeped the dusty floor. 

Grim glared at him, placing his paws on his hips. “You’re at fault for stealing his tart in the first place.” 

“There’s a chance he’ll forgive you if you apologised tomorrow,” the brunette girl advised him as she threw away the dust that she swept up. The wood under her feet creaked as she returned. 

“Grudges over food are the worst,” her partner remarked, an unamused expression on his face. His bright blue eyes widened in realisation. “Wait! I never got those tuna cans from the Headmaster!” 

“Fine. Whatever. All I gotta do is apologise, right?” Ace sighed. He looked at her with a glare. “This is your idea, so you better come with me.” 

All she did was nod. She was going with him regardless anyway. 

“So, where do I sleep tonight?” He asked, an inquisitive look in his eye. 

“You’re actually staying the night?” Grim crossed his arms. “Every room aside from ours is still a mess. Clean a room for yourself.” 

He made a face. “Bleh, I don’t wanna.” Then, he turned to Mari with a smile. “Prefect~ Let me sleep in your room. I’m slim, so I won’t take a lot of space.” 

“Aight.” 

Grim’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at her lax response. “Ffgnaa?! You’re just going to say yes?!” 

“I’m used to sharing beds with people.” Mari proceeded to have a flashback to every time the Demon brothers invited themselves to her room and stayed there without really giving her a choice in the matter, as well as every time she had to sleep in the same room as them. Honestly, at least Ace had the decency to ask first. 

“Sweet! Thanks, Mari.” Ace flashed her a grin. 

After that, they all went to their rooms to sleep. The boy was right, he didn’t take up much space. Plus, the bed was big enough for the two of them. Unfortunately, Ace hogged the sheets. The bastard. 

When morning came, so did the loud knocking. This time it was Deuce and he scolded Ace for getting collared. 

While heading to class, Grim teased Ace about his collar and not being able to use magic. 

Ace will remember that.

They went to the Heartslabyul dorm and Mari is like -surprised pikachu- 

She loves it a lot. The hearts and roses were gorgeous. If only she had magic, then she would’ve been sorted into a nice dorm. Ugh. 

No matter. She’d just have to work hard to make the Ramshackle dorm shine. 

Then they met the e-boy-- I mean, Cater and he was painting the white roses red. 

Mari proceeds to have flashbacks to her dream earlier. Huh. Maybe it was just a coincidence. 

Dude recognises them as the notorious first years that broke the 10,000,000 madol chandelier so he takes a selfie with them. 

He has them paint the roses with him. Grim accidentally sets the roses on fire, Deuce accidentally turns them blue. Turns out it’s a bad idea to ask freshmen that are inexperienced with magic to do your chores. 

Ace complained and asked why they’re painting them red. He said that they look pretty as white roses. Mari agreed and expressed that she felt that the natural colors of the roses were fine. 

Cater explained that it’s tradition for roses to be red for Unbirthday parties. And that they use flamingos in seven different colors for croquet with hedgehogs as the balls. 

Mari wondered if that was safe or ethical. Either way, this dorm was proving to be quite strange for her. 

Ace remembered that he was supposed to apologise. Cater asked if he had a tart of apology and he said no. 

Cater told him that he can’t let him in the dorm then. The first years tried fighting him but lost and got kicked out. 

The bell rang and they had to really rush to Potions class. 

Crewel appeared and Mari had a “Oh no he’s hot!” moment. She paid extra close attention to him during class. 

Then it was History class. Mari mostly looked at Lucius more than Trein but was also fascinated with learning the history of Twisted Wonderland.

 Then PE came around. Mari saw Vargas and was like “Damn he got some tiddies lmao” Then she dies.

Jk. But the 20 laps and 100 pushups were exhausting for her. 

It was break time. Ace and Deuce talked about the classes not being too different from regular school. Mari agreed that they were somewhat similar to the classes she had at RAD. 

Then they noticed Grim was trying to skip class. 

Ace made fun of Mari for losing him and told her that if she wanted his help, then she should buy him a chocolate croissant. Deuce wanted an iced latte. 

All it really took for Mari was to give Deuce her best puppy eyes until he agreed to help. Then she said she didn’t want Ace’s help since he didn’t have his magic anyway. This aggravated him into helping her. Heh, suckers. 

Turns out she didn’t really need their help anyway since she just scolded Grim into going with her, saying he won’t become a great wizard if he didn’t put effort into his studies. 

It was lunchtime and Grim got into trouble with delinquent upperclassmen over food since he bumped into them and the egg broke. One of them said that breaking the egg is the best part about eating carbonara. 

Which confused Mari greatly because she loves eating carbonara and has never ever heard of eating egg on it. Perhaps it was normal in Twisted Wonderland too. Heartslabyul was already strange enough. 

They got into a fight but won this time and the delinquents ran off, yelling about pasta again. 

The first year group started eating and Grim asked what the other dorms are like. Cater popped up next to them, surprising the four of them. Turns out Trey was with him as well. 

Cater basically just tried to get all buddy buddy and exchanged numbers. 

Mari told him she didn’t have a phone and he offered to go phone shopping with her and called it a date

She was just like “bro im fucking POOR” 

Trey told him to chill and they went back on track. Cater started a conversation about the seven dorms.

Time for Mari’s reactions to the other dorms

Heartslabyul - Ew. She doesn’t like overly strict people or environments. 

Savanaclaw - Haha, furry jock dorm. Probably found Jack hot since she’s into the strong silent types. 

Octavinelle - Sea Witch’s dorm, huh? Does that mean they’re business guys? Oh look, it’s that weird guy from the entrance ceremony that “wanted Riddle’s collar” 

Scarabia - The smart ones, according to Trey. There’s the guy who got his butt set on fire during the entrance ceremony and there’s… a really hot guy that’s exactly her type. His hair looked so long and silky and his eyes were mysterious. 

Pomefiore - 

Grim: there’s a super cute girl over there! 

Deuce: A girl besides Mari in an all-boys’ school?!

 Mari: Nah that’s a dude 

Ace: Eh? How do you know? 

Mari: I can see his adam’s apple 

Mari, internally: Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur-- 

So apparently Pomefiore is the “Beauty” dorm and the dorm leader has like five million followers on Magicam. That’s cool, but she’s more interested in their poisons. 

Ignihyde - Cater called the students of that dorm introverts. Trey said that they were good with technology. They seemed real neat. 

Diasomnia - Powerful and considered celebrities, as well as having an aura that makes them hard to approach. Though, Mari lowkey thought that about everyone except that one guy that got his butt set on fire. He seemed very friendly. Maybe it was her social anxiety talking, maybe they were actually just intimidating. Anyway, Lilia popped up from above and scared them. He basically just said that he’s not a child and that Diasomnia welcomes students from other dorms. So there’s that, at least. Though, this doesn’t do anything to extinguish the intimidating aura from the rest of their students. Then the strange dude left. 

Ace started talking shit about Riddle while Mari blankly stared at Riddle who was right behind him. Boi he ded

Riddle then went on with his spiel about rulebreakers. Honestly, Mari pretty much spaced out during this in order not to roll her eyes at him. 

Then he left to get two sugars for his lemon tea that the rules state that he’s supposed to drink after a meal.

Trey tries to explain that Riddle’s intentions aren’t bad and that he’s just trying to make the dorm better. 

To which Mari replies: “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. If you’re clearly making the people around you unhappy and uncomfortable without actual regard for how they feel, then that’s that.” 

And Grim said: “Someone with good intentions doesn’t randomly collar people!” 

They laughed, but one could easily tell that it wasn’t genuine. 

Then bam, more exposition comes and Cater explains what unique magics are. 

Then they start talking about tarts. Mari offered to help make one with Trey and Ace while Deuce and Grim wanted out. They only wanted to help after Trey said they could eat some tart if they helped out. 

They started chestnut picking and met Leona who was a fucking bitch because she accidentally stepped on his tail. 

Jk. He drinks his respect women juice so he’s not as mean and leaves her with only a warning for the most part. 

She and Grim got back to Ace and Deuce, they picked the chestnuts and got back to the Heartslabyul dorm to make that tart. 

Trey made his whole joke with the oyster sauce but Mari just looked at him with pure disbelief in her eyes. Then Trey realized he needed more ingredients since they brought too much chestnuts and Deuce and Mari volunteered to buy them from the shop. Grim also said he wanted to come since he was tired of mixing flour. 

So they go to the Mystery Shop and get the shit. Mari wonders for a moment if Sam has got anything that could possibly help her get home but then shakes her head, saying she’ll see about that later. They head back to the Heartslabyul dorm but run into trouble, then came the reveal of Deuce’s “Bad Boy” personality. Mari was like -surprised pikachu- while he beat the shit out of the delinquents, silently cheering him on. After that, he got upset because his “honor student” persona was gone. It’s especially bad since he felt that he scared Mari. 

Achievement unlocked: Deuce’s Backstory 

Grim asked if being an honor student meant that he should just grin and bear everything. Mari agreed and reassured that being an honor student didn’t necessarily mean that he should be a pushover. Then she broke it to him that the eggs were unfertilised and would never hatch. Now it was his turn on the surprised pikachu face. 

They bought another set of eggs and went back to the Heartslabyul dorm safe and sound. The tart was finished. Hooray! Though, Deuce was still shocked about the chicks so Mari had to pat his back. They started eating some tarts after Cater came by to check on them. He then brought up Trey’s unique magic.

Trey revealed his unique magic and explained it to them. They were impressed. But once they were done, he told Ace he can’t sleep in Heartslabyul and gave him and Deuce permission to sleep in the Ramshackle Dorm so they did. 

Next day. They got to the Unbirthday Party and Ace gave the tart to Riddle. 

Riddle is like “Fuck you. The Law of the Queen of Hearts says one must never bring a mont blanc tart to an Unbirthday Party! REEEEEEE” And then Mari wonders how many rules there are. He answers with 810 and that he memorized them since he’s dorm leader. She’s like “Dude, he’s a freshman, he can’t possibly memorize every rule.” To which Riddle countered with “I memorized them on my first day in NRC! If I can do it, then he should be able to as well.”

“Not everyone has to be like you!” She proceeds to have flashbacks to her narcissistic grandmother who always believed that she was right and demanded that everyone be like her. This causes her to dislike him. 

“As the dorm leader of Heartslabyul, out of respect to the strictness of the Queen of Hearts, I can’t ignore this violation. Throw the mont blanc and these rulebreakers out!” 

Ace started arguing with him as well and the two third years tried to help. Riddle goes on about how he has the highest grades and is the most powerful, which makes him the most correct. This makes Mari’s stomach churn more because of how much he reminds her of her grandmother. Grim says he’s a selfish tyrant who wastes food and ends up getting himself and Deuce collared as well. 

Then they get thrown out by the third years and meet Chenya, who gives them a tip to talk to Trey and unlock Riddle’s tragic backstory. 

And they did. Because it’s always a good idea to listen to the advice of a strange guy who pops into conversations head-first, literally. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 1 

Mari’s reaction was that she sympathised with him and understood, considering that her grandmother was somewhat similar. However-- 

“His past is not an excuse for him to be a tyrant. Perhaps that’s harsh of me to say, but I still stand by it. He believes he’s right all the time and fails to notice how miserable the rest of Heartslabyul is.”

Ace put in his two cents and said it was Trey’s fault that he’s like this, dropping a truth bomb on him. Mari agreed and said “Friends help each other to become better people, not allow them to grow worse and worse.” Then he called Trey lame for being afraid of getting his head chopped off. 

Crowley pops up like “STFU THIS IS THE LIBRARY YOU LIL SHITS” and they said he was the loudest so he started whispering “stfu you lil shits”

They explained the situation and he suggested moving dorms but Ace was like “but thats a pussy move” so he suggested fighting Riddle to the death for the position of dorm leader. But without the “to the death” part. Ace and Deuce agreed to challenge Riddle. Grim wanted to go too but Crowley said other people from different dorms can’t so he got sad. 

Timeskip to the match and it was over in less than 5 seconds. Mari told Riddle that he was wrong but then he started mocking her and her family for barely being able to use magic and having a bad education and then called her completely inadequate. She just looked at him blankly considering that she didn’t particularly care about him insulting her or her parents. 

But then Ace punched him for saying that. And Mari was internally like, “I have decided that I love this guy”. Then he went onto this speech about how kids aren’t their parents’ trophies and that it was Riddle’s fault for not making a friend scold him for being a tyrant. He also calls him a baby. But not like the “uwu baby” kinda way, the kind of immature brat kinda way. 

Shit hits the fan and Trey finally had enough and used his unique magic to overwrite Riddle’s to remove the magic-sealing collars. Then Riddle fucking overblots. 

Mari is definitely surprised. Then noticed the creature behind him to look similar to the beast she and the shared brain cell trio fought in the Dwarves’ Mines. So, she steeled herself and ordered the trio to attack Riddle, especially once Crowley said that he’d lose his life if this went for too long. The third years came to help as well while their Headmaster evacuated the other students.

And they beat the shit out of Riddle. Then Mari kinda spaces out again and has this vision of Riddle’s past. This wasn’t the first time she has seen a vision of someone else’s past, but it still confused her. She wasn’t in the Devildom anymore, and she didn’t have magic. 

Achievement Unlocked: Riddle’s Backstory Part 2 

Then she’s shaken back to earth by Ace and he’s like “Oi, don’t space out now, dumbass.” “Did you see that?” “See that Riddle overblotted? How could I not?!” “Nevermind” 

Riddle is crying and she feels bad so she rubs his back. Her motherly instincts get the better of her at this point. He’s surprised at how she’s treating him, considering the only female figure he had in his life was his mother who was strict and harsh. When Ace started yelling at him, she scolded him and told him to yell at him later. 

“Ace, cut him some slack. You can yell at him when he’s recovered. He almost died ffs” “SO DID WE” 

Then he told Riddle to do the Revenge Unbirthday Party. Riddle agreed before Mari and Crowley decided to take him to the infirmary. Since she was gone, Grim got to eat the black rock again. 

While Riddle was recovering from blot, Mari took it upon herself to help him out. He appreciated it a lot. 

After the Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari thought about her experience so far. The strange dreams, the overblot, the vision. 

Then she remembered something. Before leaving the Devildom, Barbatos pulled her aside and had a talk with her. He held her hand and a faint glow emitted from it before he let her go. “A fragment of my power,” he said. But she didn’t understand what he meant. 

When she slept that night, she saw Belphie and nearly cried because she missed him. Then she explained what happened to her and that she was in Twisted Wonderland. He told her that he’ll inform the others so that they can find a way to get her back, and that she should hang on in the meantime. 

And so she did, unaware that her adventure just begun.

[leechonspeeddial]

Midnight Shift: The Serpent at Burger King - A Seduction of Kevins Summary: The Devil comes disguised as everything you want, Alice Cullen comes with fondue fountains and Bugattis. wc: 1.7k Read on ao3

There was one simple lesson I learned from a young age and quickly internalized while living as a Cullen.

Never play chess with a psychic.

You think a mind reader is a problem? No, you just have to add on geographical distance and then you're back on an equal playing field; as long as you keep apart, you can use your best strategies and winning is still possible. A psychic though, there is no distance you can go to be hidden from their sight. Once they get their teeth in you, your odds at winning are – for a lack of a better word – shit. So, as I held Alice's gaze at our local Burger King, I reminded myself this one very important rule.

Never play chess with a psychic.

Too late.

If you did find yourself playing chess with a psychic, the best course of action would be to become irrational and flip the board. You might not win, but neither would they and you'd save yourself the effort. I took a deep breath and assessed the situation. There were currently five humans with ten pairs of working human eyes at the restaurant; flipping the board would be disastrous, either people would die or they'd bear witness to vampiric activity. So that's out of the question, next strat.

Though Alice had gotten used to reading around the blind spots caused by me, she hadn't totally mastered it yet. My best choice was to act without thinking and take over the conversation as much as possible. That, well, that I could manage no problem.

"Well, well, well. What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Assistant Manager?" I addressed Gay Kevin, hoping to also neutralize Jasper. Mr. Emotional Roofie was another obstacle here, trying to goad my coworkers so that they emotionally overwhelm him was my best shot. "Showing up two hours late to your shift with no warning?"

Gay Kevin looked exhausted.

"Please, not in front of the customers," he sounded embarrassed. Not Kevin snorted and took the interruption as an opportunity to make Milkshake boy his drink and get away from Alice. Meanwhile, Straight Kevin hopped over the counter and directly headed towards the old fries – if we didn't do our duty to eat them, they would be thrown out.

I also took notice of the guy that came in with the Kevins; he was shorter than Gay Kevin but slightly taller than Straight Kevin, he had thick black hair, but more importantly, he carried a video camera with him. He observed us, brown eyes full of amusement, and I sincerely hoped he was a vlogger.

"They aren't customers," I chirped with a predatory smile.

"I am a one though," Milkshake boy frowned. I waved him off.

"You're Not Kevin adjacent. You don't count," Gay Kevin looked increasingly irritated despite Jasper's attempt at giving chill vibes. He crossed his arms.

"So, what's this? You decide to throw a party while I was gone?"

I was about to retort when Alice interrupted me. I glared.

"There IS a party involved, but not here and not right now. Alice Cullen, nice to meet you, I'm –"

"Resentment's sister," Alice scrunched up her nose but nodded.

"Yup! And I came here to personally invite you, other Kevin, and Not Kevin to Nessie's party"

"You said you were born on 9/11," Straight Kevin's said accusingly with a mouth full of fries.

"It's not a birthday party," Alice tried to clarify, only to be drowned out by Not Kevin.

"You were born on 9/11?" I turned to address him and realized he was making Milkshake boy a chocolate shake, ruining all the hard work I put into my performance. Today was definitely not my day.

"I mean, yeah, but not like 9/11 9/11. I'm only 16," Not Kevin nodded but then his eyes widened as a realization seemed to hit him.

"Oh fuck. I forgot that was 20 years ago…"

"I wasn't even born 20 years ago," Straight Kevin added and it seemed to act as a punch to Not Kevin's gut.

"God, you guys are babies. I remember my parents picking me up from kindergarten early and being glued to the news for the rest of the day," Gay Kevin's statement also appeared to have a negative effect on Not Kevin, making him look even more miserable. Camera man looked like there was no place he rather be. Alice, well, she looked endlessly irritated.

"I feel so old" Not Kevin whispered, shell-shocked.

"You are old. What are you, like 50?" Not Kevin glared at me.

"What's 9/11?"

I blinked. Everyone went quiet and stared at Milkshake boy, who looked very confused. No one spoke for a full beat.

"Jack's 19 and, uh, Canadian," Not Kevin shrugged helplessly and said as if that explained everything. He handed the kid his milkshake.

"Hey, I thought there weren't any Oreos –"

"ANYWAY," Alice said loudly and we all looked at her, "it's not a birthday party. It's more like a celebration of Nessie's first job. Our family would love to have all of you for dinner"

"She means that we'd love to have you at the event. Not that we want to eat you for dinner," Jasper added unnecessarily and made me want to face palm. So, I did.

"I wasn't worried about possible cannibalism when she said it, but now I am," Straight Kevin took a wary step away from Jasper. Alice rolled her eyes.

"There will be plenty of free food and you can take as many leftovers as you want with you," Straight Kevin seemed to seriously consider this.

"I'm in," Alice handed him a pink envelope and smiled. Fuck.

Improvise.

"Speaking of customers. We have one right now," I pointed at Camera man, "so we can't deal with you right now," I tried to push Alice out the store but she held her ground.

"I'm also not a customer," he shrugged, "I came for the rats"

Shit.

"Tài…don't do this" Gay Kevin pleaded.

"My hands are tied. I promised my audience," so he was some sort of vlogger. This was admittedly the only good thing that has happened today.

"See, he's not a customer. I can stay," I groaned at Alice's smug tone.

"Technically, you're both loitering. So, neither of you should stay"

"I agree with the Assistant Manager"

Alice and I stared down at each other while Camera man and Gay Kevin had a silent conversation with their eyes. For the next while, the only sounds that could be heard in the restaurant were Straight Kevin loudly chewing, Milkshake boy slurping, and Olivia Rodrigo's drivers license playing on the speakers.

Suddenly, Not Kevin snapped his fingers, drawing our attention to him.

"You know, it occurs to me that since both Kevins are finally here, I can take my break. Come on Jack, I'm taking you home," he quickly made his way around the counter and grabbed Milkshake boy. "I'll make sure to call if I'm somehow two hours late," I smirked at Alice as her eyes narrowed. I greatly encouraged any action that made her look like that.

Milkshake boy tilted his head and didn't let himself be dragged out of the joint. I had half a mind to help Not Kevin.

"But dad said to –"

"Your dad will be ok with this as long as you don't set the house on fire. Again" Milkshake boy frowned.

"It happened once. I said I was sorry"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on bud, time's ticking"

Finally, that seemed to get Milkshake boy moving and heading to the door.

"Don't forget your invite!" Alice called out.

"We're good," Not Kevin responded with a hand on the door and the other pulling the teen along.

"Did I mention there will be a fondue fountain?"

Not Kevin hesitated by the door and I could only feel horror as my stomach dropped. Not Kevin was weak for cheese and cheese related by-products.

"Chocolate or cheese?"

"Both," I held my breath. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fucking fair.

"Shame, I'm on a diet"

"You aren't –"

And they were both gone before Milkshake boy could finish calling out Not Kevin's blatant lie. I fist bumped the air and stuck my tongue out at Alice, fully intending to gloat over this minor victory.

That is, until I saw Alice smiling.

Fucking psychics.

"What's got you so smug," I snarked, hoping to get a hint of whatever vision she just had. She smirked and I could tell she could see right through me. So much for not playing chess with psychic.

"I had a sudden revelation that everything will be alright," her eyes twinkled with mischief and, not for the first time, I was very jealous of Edward. Why the fuck did he get the mind reading powers? Tactile thought projection was so stupid and useless the majority of the time.

"You're so fucking annoying"

"I prefer the term persistent," I'd prefer if she was set on fire. "Which reminds me, hey boys"

Camera man and Gay Kevin stopped doing whatever the hell they were doing and paid attention to Alice, who was holding up one her dumb little pink envelopes.

"What do you say, a chance to eat fancy rich people food and see some fancy rich people cars," Camera man turned to Gay Kevin.

"Babe"

"Is this like, appropriate. Professionally speaking," Gay Kevin scrunched up his nose trying to figure out the etiquette of this weird ass situation.

"I'm more than happy to take you guys on a spin in my brand-new Bugatti"

"Babe"

"Why does this feel like bribery?" Gay Kevin narrowed his eyes at Alice, he seemed incredibly suspicious.

"Because it is," I growled and attempted to set Alice on fire with my stare.

"And I fully admit it. I just want to throw a good party, and guest are a very important part," she stretched out her hand towards Camera man, "think about it, that's all I ask"

Camera man and Gay Kevin shared a look, and Camera man grabbed the envelope. Ugh.

"Wonderful! Remember to R.S.V.P., we'll leave you to it," she waved and grabbed Confederate hubby.

They walked away and I could hear Alice speak, her voice far too low for human ears, but just the right volume for me.

"There's been a change of plans, we're meeting up Esme"

I scowled. I knew it was bait, I knew Alice wanted me to hear her, and it was driving me insane. Why would they need to see Esme? Why would Alice want me to know this?

I fucking hated my life.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 08 + 09.11.20 lbs

08.11.20

lmaoooooooo i really love the ice cold way siya operates in. truly a raisinghania sib!

“siya chal sakti hai!!!” behen, iss ghar mein tumhare dimaag ki alaava sab kuch chalta hai.

dadi trying to cheer raja band baja hua beta up with his favt. chole bhature. he doesn't seem like the kind who'd eat that kinda food, but ok.

CHOLE BHATURE ARE NOT CHEERING HIM UP. MATLAB MAAMLA SERIOUS HAIIIIII.

lmao he's literally twisting and turning in place like kids do when they have a tantrum. i mean, i like it. it shows a more human side to the character, ki just how much anguish and helplessness he's feeling.

dadi like babe, you can't control everything in life, stop being such a bloody control freak ki things not going your way turn you like this.

blah blah anguished rant on how he lost something so important to him.

dadi giving cliche ~~~if it's meant to be yours, it'll come back to you~~~ advice. which is kinda working on him. huh. all kindsa out of sorts behaviour.

“jab tuney kisi ke saath galat nahi kiya hai, toh tere saath galat kyun hoga?” uh okkkkkkkkkkk, that's not how life works. bad shit happens to good ppl all the time. also, he's done lotsa galat shit ok. what did riddhima do for this fucker to paralyse her huh?????? YEH SAB USSI KA NATEEJA HAI. BHUGAT AB.

carbs therapy. BEST HAI. ALWAYS WORKS. IT'S SCIENCE, BITCHES.

dadi saying why don't you talk to riddhima about your issues, and lol he's whining about she dgaf about him coz she left him alone last night when he asked her not to.

dadi left praying ki hey bhagwaan these two fucks’ relationship is in your hands now, this is beyond human interference.

kabir being informed of new developments and accusation of kidnapping ragini is being heaped on siya. BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE YOU STUPID TWIT??????? THAT SHE CAN WALK??????? SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

“mujhe usse vansh ke aage expose karna hoga.” LMAO BITCH EXPOSE YOURSELF FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

“tum kya mujhe expose karogi? expose toh main tumhe karungi!” YES SIYAAAAAAAAA FUCK  HER UPPPPPPPPPP

NOICE. WE LOVE A FIERCEASS SISTER WHO’S READY TO KILL FOR HER SIBLINGS. ESP. WHEN IT’S THE SCARY BIG BROTHER WHO’S EVERYONE’S PROTECTOR.

siya saying she just miraculously got cured a few days ago, and was waiting to surprise everyone. sounds sus, but whatever.

but also what kinda terrribleasssssss physiotherapist is riddhima that she didn’t even identify her patient’s progress?????

LMAO SIYA POL KHOLING OF VANSH BHAIYYA SAYING HE MADE HER DO ALL THE SHADY MASK SHIT. “TO KEEP RIDDHIMA SAFE”. haaaan behen, khooooob safe rakha tumne, baar baar behosh karke. pehle se hi iska dimaag nahi chalta, now you’ve managed to give her some kinda degenerative brain disease.

i love how vansh didn’t bother to ask siya how she stopped riddhima’s plans and knocked her out multiple times if she’s in a wheelchair. there’s literally only one person in a wheelchair in this house?!?!?!!!!!! wouldn’t riddhima KNOW who the person in the mask is???? god vansh. you’re such a dumbass.

lellllllllllllllllllllllllll i am livingggggggggg for siya reading riddhima to filth with a knife in her hand THIS IS THE BEST SCENE OF THIS SHOW YET. esp in her small, child-like voice, it’s fucking amazing.

riddhima admitted to being a spy, AND SIYA RECORDED IT ALSO. OMFG SHE’S MY NEW FAVE CHARACTER I LOVE HER THE MOST.

i wish vansh was the person he is to siya, instead of the fucker he actually is. she literally thinks the worldddddddddddd of him. ugh, i am so soft for this relationshippppppp.

but i also wanna know what the ishani/siya relationship is like? we hardlyyyyyy see them interact. like, we even see aryan push her wheelchair around sometimes, but ishani neverrrrrrr interacts with siya. why????

ugh riddhima managed to convince her that she really cares for vansh and is trying to do the right thing. she’s literally asking her to kill her rn if she doesn’t trust her. baby sis you’re farrrrrrrrr too trusting.

“mera dimaag tumpe trust karne se rok raha hai, riddhima, par jiss dil ne tumhe bhaabi bola haina, woh tumhe ek mauka dena chahta hai. ek aakhri mauka. iss baar mera bharosa mat todna. 24 ghante hai tumhare paas. apni taqdeer badal sako toh badal lo warna yeh audio main vansh bhaiyya ko suna doongi.” SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE THEY HIDING THIS MOST SAYAANI CHARACTER OF THE SHOW TILLLLLL NOW????????!

riddhima has a condition for siya too. i think i know what it is.

omg vansh IS COLLAR PAKADKE YELLING AT ANGRE IN THE WORST WAYYYYYYY POSSIBLE. god vansh, you’re honestly the fucking worstttttttttttttttttttt. angre you need to take up work with someone else, istg, you don’t deserve this shit. kabir treats his sidekick so much better. yet another point in the kitty for kabir >>>>>> vansh.

seriously, why would you wanna blindfold this dude when he’s in THIS mood????? save it for the bedroom, sis.

empty wheelchair dekh ke he’s yelling at everrrrrrrryone ki how could they leave siya alone somewhere. god. i can’t imagine having to live with such a toxic personality.

everyone in the house is soooooo happy for siya. like, aryan’s not beaming as much as the others, but he does look kinda pleased. BECAUSE SIYA IS BEST CHARACTERRRRRRR OF THIS SHOW EVERYONE LOVESSSS HERRRRR.

oh my heart, i am so softttttttt for sibling shit like this. he’s hugging her with suchhhhhhhhhhhh fierceeee affection, i’m crying happy tearsssssss.

heart eyes for riddhima who supposedly cured her. pls. she did nothing. jo bhi karna tha, siya ne khud kiya hai. iss ridhimma manhoos ko jasoosi se kab fursat mili to do PT with siya and cure her???

siya being gracious and giving credit though. ugh, honestly, this show and this family don’t deserve siya.

lmao she’s saying vansh brought riddhima in though, so actually allll the credit goes to bhaiyya for intimidating this poor woman into treating his sister against her will.

THE AFFECTION. THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF HIS LOVE FOR HERRRR. I CRIEEE. THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS TO ME IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SHOW.

anupriya giving some fakeass congrats. i hope siya tells vansh that she was the one who pushed her down the stairs a while back. aur kuch nahi toh just for that vansh is gonna kill her dead.

riddhima and vansh still all tense and sad about the ragini thing. OUFF JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT YOU FUCKS.

I LOVE HER. I FUCKING LOVE HER. BEST RAISINGHANIA HAI YEH.

———————————————————————

09.11.20

riddhima back at kabir’s to try and find ragini. ughhhhhhhhh i’m just so done with this nonsense. we already KNOW that kabir and anupriya still have her based on the precap from like 2, 3 days ago.

lol kabir is so pissed at riddhima and her dimaag chalaana. a mood we ALL share.

kabir trying to turn riddhima against siya and riddhima’s like NOOOO SHE COULD NEVER, “USKI AANKHEIN USKI AWAAAZ SAAF SAAF KEH RAHI THI KI WOH SACH BOL RAHI HAI!” uh huh, yeah, like kabir’s are rn????? and vansh’s were before he paralysed you? just a suggestion i’m throwing out there: is it possible that perhaps, just maybe, you’re just very fucking stupid, riddhima, and tend to trust people too easily????

OUFF I’M SO BORED WITH THIS SCENE. we already know from the precap that ragini will knock down a vase but riddhima will never find out what caused it and kabir will make some lame excuse she’ll believe. FWDING TO NEXT.

JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTT, SIYA IS JUST WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE RANDOMLY LISTENING TO THAT AUDIO CLIP OF RIDDHIMA’S CONFESSION. AND SHE WALKS RIGHT INTO VANSH, WHO’S LIKE HUH, WHAT’S THAT RIDDHIMA IS SAYING?????

siya brushes it off saying its exercise stuff for her PT. sure. uh huh.

OH MY HEART HE GOT HER HEEEEEEELS, WHICH SHE’S ALWAYSSSSSSS WANTED. THIS BHAIYYA-BABY RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN GODDAMNITTTT. ITNE DIN BAAAAAAAAAAAD ITNI ACHCHI SIBLING FEELS MILI HAI ITV SEEEEEEE.

bhaiyya knows baby enough ki she’s hiding something from himmm. oh noeeeeeeeeeee.

damn, siya a real one. didn’t give out riddhima’s secret coz she wants to give her a fair chance. again, this show does not deserve this character. she’s too good for it.

she says she just believes in him and knows he’ll find whoever murdered mom. 

SOFT. SO SOFT. MY HEART IS SO FULL WHENEVER THESE TWO SHOW LOVE TO EACH OTHERRRRR.

idhar ragini ki marammat shuru. y’all are just exhausting me with this bs. isse maarna hai toh maaro already. ainvayi mein time waste.

oh dangggggggg, ragini batting for riddhima. saying i know she’ll fuck y’all up. dang, we love the sisterhood feels of this episode!

“aap ke liye SPECIAL INTEZAAM kiya hai maine.” said with the most polite customer service obsequiousness. I LOVE THIS PSYCHOPATH THE MOSTTTTTTTTTT.

ragini warning them that once vansh finds out everything, they’re as good as dead. wow, spunky!!!! dude i like her as a female lead better than stupid fucking riddhima. 

“hmmmmmm, you’re right. lekin usse batayega kaun???” honestly, why do i love his deranged ass so much????

anyway mishra has been delegated the task of stashing her somewhere else i guess. so it’s settled that mishra knows he’s not working for the CBI or whatever and is just a hired goon.

dadi is organizing YET ANOTHER POOJA. lordddddd.

this riddhima and her dumbass mandir jaana excuse that she uses constantly.

“bhagwaan tum jaisi bahu sab ko de!” OMFG DADI PLS, GOD FORBID. ISSE ACHCHA AAPKE BETE KUNWAARE MARR JAAYE!

ugh dadi your bloody pota needs a fucking therapist, it isn’t in riddhima’s hands to fix his 1001 mental issues.

great, mangalsutra almost broke. foreshadowing.

ughhhhh mummy managed to steal the memory card from aryan. FUCKING IDIOT I THOUGHT YOU HAD PUT IT IN THE BLOODY BANK ALREADY, BUT NO. HE WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT LOUDDDDDDDDLY ON THE PHONE. jesusssss, why he so fuckinggggg stupid????

oh now vansh is exclaiming GREATTTTTTT JOB ANGREEEE as if he didn’t tell him to GTFO, THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU DISGUSTS ME yesterday. fuck, i really hate vansh as anything but a brother to siya.

aaaaaaand riddhima was standing behind him and he turned around and in a veryyyyyyy contrived move got his watch caught in her mangalsutra and broke it.

sis freaking about THE APSHAGUN!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s like arre nahi achcha shagun hai, angre got the cctv footage now i’ll know who kidnapped ragini! and sis is like OH GOD NO THE BAD LUCK IS STARTING ALREADY I’M SO DEADDDDDDD

“toh main tumhe kho dungi.”

lmao his face. literally the white guy blinking meme.

god she’s having a freakout about how their shaadi and rishta is in khatra. BITCH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MS AND INSTEAD THE MOUNTAIN OF LIES YOU ARE SITTING ON AND YOUR EK DARJAN KE INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES AS INDIVIDUALS.

”tum jaanti ho riddhima, tumahra ek ek aansoon mere liye kitna keemti hain? aisa lagta hai jaise mere dil ke ek tukde ko tod ke alag kar diya ho.”

OH YEAH????? DIDN’T FEEL ANYTHINGGGGG WHEN YOU PARALYSED HER HUH????????? IT’S GONNA BE A LONGASSSSS TIME BEFORE I GET OVER THAT, BITCH BOY.

yeah yeah ok this is a nice moment and all. WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS DUDE, HUH?????? WHY’D YOU HAVE TO RUIN ALLLLLLLLLL THE GOOD WILL YOU BUILT UP BY KARWA CHAUTH IN ONEEEEEEE MOMENTTTTTTT?????? fuck, i hate you tellywood men and the shit they put my stupid heart through.

only bappa ki aarti shall fix things now. based on the promo and BTS i’ve seen, things about to get reallllllly realllllllly bad but............ lol let’s wait and watch.

ragini managed to sneak mishra’s phone outta his pocket. SEE????? SO ENTERPRISING!!!!!! I LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN RIDDHIMA. GOD VANSH, THIS IS THE GIRL YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. SHE’S REALLY THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

she’s callllllllllling vanshhhh. BUT AARTI KI WAJAAH SE HE CAN’T HEAR THE PHONEEEEEE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

here, have some dhaarmik #couple goals to take the edge off the anxiety till the next episode.

———————————————————————

precap: omfg ragini got through to riddhima and she almost told her that kabir is behind kidnapping her, but kabir got to her and attacked her from the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE OMFG SIYA OVERHEARD MUMMY ON THE PHONE BRAGGING ABOUT KILLING THEIR MOM AND CALLS VANSH TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!!!! LIKE SHE TOLD HIM THE NAME ALL CLEARLY AND THAT SHE HEARD IT FIRSTHAND!!!!!!!! VANSH SEEMS TO BE GIVING NO REACTION THO????????????

TELL ME THAT BOTH THESE PHONE CALLS WERE NOT MADE ON SOME FUCKING GHATIYA NETWORK LIKE IDEA AND THE REQUIRED PPL HEAR EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO!!!!!!!! (high hopes, i know. 😔😔😔)

[moonlit-jeno]

Love Sick

Chapter 3- Jeno

pairing: nct dream ‘00 line + reader

chapter warnings: very brief mentions of gore

words: 2.7k

summary:

“I just kinda thought you were joking around, y’know? But then my parents really didn’t come home, and the phone lines really aren’t back up.”

notes: this is kind of filler but also kind of necessary to determine oc’s relationship w the boys??

masterlist | prev | next

You’ve been listening attentively to Jaemin and Renjun for the past twenty minutes, your gaze darting from boy to boy as they explain the story as bluntly as possible. Jeno winces when Jaemin describes the things they’ve seen- he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the brains splattering over his windshield- but you don’t even flinch. Honestly, Jeno can’t tell if you believe them or not.

“-and now we’re here. Sorry for breaking in and stuff, we did try to knock.” Jaemin finishes, running his hand through his hair anxiously. It’s silent for a bit as they wait for you to respond.

“So you saw the girl start seizing,” You finally say, eyes piercing straight into Jaemin’s soul. “And you just magically knew what was happening and bolted.” Jaemin nods slowly. Jeno can tell by the tone of your voice that you definitely don’t believe them. You stand up, walking over to where the food is spread out across the floor. A can of peas rolls towards them when you nudge it with your foot. “This seems like a lot of emergency food. Were you really shopping for peas?” Frustration builds up in Jeno’s gut, curling under his skin. You don’t believe them, and he can’t even blame you. It sounds insane. But it’s real, and it’s happening, and the worst part is that it’s not like they can prove it to you without going outside and showing you a real… well, whatever those things are.

“Well, no, but I was near the aisle with all that stuff in it and I just kind of grabbed it as I went.” Jaemin explains. “I wanted to be prepared.” “I dunno, man. I’ve seen a lot of weird shit, and my first thought has never been ‘whelp, guess it’s the zombie apocalypse’.” Your eyebrows are raised, head tilted to the side.

Jeno’s had enough. He’s tired, he’s scared, and he’s reached his breaking point. “Look, I don’t care what kind of weird shit you’ve seen. Have you ever seen someone bite a man’s nose clean off? Have you ever seen someone run full speed at a moving car and proceed to consciously bash their own head in? Hmm? You ever driven with blood and brains splattered across your windshield?” Donghyuck reaches out to tug on his hand and it’s only then that he realizes he’s standing. He keeps his eyes on you as he sits back down, forcing himself to relax. “I know it sounds stupid, but we aren’t fucking lying. I don’t know how else to prove it to you, unless you want to run outside and find a zombie.” His words hang in the air for a minute and he’s worried that he’s been too mean, has let his temper get the best of him. But then he realizes that the look in your eyes is calculating, and the way your eyes are roaming over him isn’t because you’re scared. You’re sizing him up.

“No, I don’t want to do that.” You say softly, picking up a box of cake mix. “But I do think that we should organize our food. Seems like we’re going to be here a while.” 

Jeno is utterly, completely confused. You have just pulled a complete one-eighty, going from disbelieving to fully supporting their story. All four of the boys exchange wide eyed glances, not sure what to do. Renjun eventually shrugs, standing up. “Good idea. Be careful what you give Donghyuck, though. He’ll probably eat it.”

Donghyuck whines in protest, swatting at Renjun’s thigh and missing by a foot He gets a bag of tortillas thrown at him, the same ones he had squashed in the cart. You move to the fridge, pulling everything out, only raising an eyebrow when you notice Jeno watching. 

“Gonna help? Or are you too worried about your nose?” It’s teasing, mocking his words from earlier. His jaw clicks and he feels his fists clenching, has to put conscious effort into calming himself down.

“My nose is fine.” He grumbles, taking a carton of strawberries from you and slamming them down much too aggressively. The plastic dents. You smirk.

Organizing everything only takes about thirty minutes, but Jeno is absolutely exhausted by the end of it. He lets himself melt into the softness of the mattress, limbs heavy. You’d given them a house tour- Jeno had argued that they’d already seen the house and you had just told him that they had, quite frankly, done a shit job of searching- and let them steal your brothers room for a bit. “Just until they come back.” You’d said, throwing them some clothes. “Also, you kind of reek.” Jeno had to bite back a snotty remark of “they’re not coming back”, because that’d be too mean even if he doesn’t like you. Also, he doesn’t know if they’re coming back or not, doesn’t really know much of anything. The so called ‘apocalypse’ could be over within days and he would have no clue.

His head is on Jaemin’s chest, and he’s forever thankful for the younger. Jeno’s been ranting for way too long about you, but the younger’s let him go on interrupted, playing with his hair to soothe him.

“Even the way she fucking looks at me is so- ugh, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like she thinks she’s better than us, like she knows something we don’t.” Jaemin, apparently, has had enough of Jeno’s bitching. “Jen, I know you’re scared and frustrated right now, but I think you’re reading too much into it. We did just break into her house, and a zombie apocalypse isn’t exactly a believable story. She’s probably just humoring us.”

“No, Jaem, you didn’t see the way she looks at me. It was so much more condescending than she looked at anyone else.” You’re actually nice to the rest of the boys, giggling at their jokes, not mocking and teasing them. You’d even gone as far as trading conspiracy theories with Renjun, not once laughing at him cruelly.

“She looks at you the same as everybody else, Jen.” Jaemin sounds exasperated. “I think you’re just looking for an outlet, here. You’re seeing your own frustrations in her.” Jeno’s quiet for a bit as he processes it. Jaemin’s probably right, but it’s easier to ignore it right now. Admitting that he’s wrong isn’t going to make him feel better. “She’s also like, strangely calm about everything. Like she was so skeptical and then she completely pulled a 180 on us. Doesn’t make sense.”

Jaemin shrugs and the motion of his chest moves Jeno’s head with it. “People process things differently. Also, she hasn’t seen anything that we have.”

He doesn’t respond to that.

Only three days pass and Jeno’s already managed to break something . The vase was kind of ugly, in his defense, but also, it was definitely expensive. He tries to say that he did her a favor but Jaemin smacks him on the back of the head and points out that it still belongs to you. With a roll of his eyes, Jeno sets off to find you.

Jeno doesn’t get a response when he calls your name, and you’re not in your bedroom when he checks. You’re not with Renjun and Donghyuck, either, and Jeno starts to mildly panic. Maybe you’d gone outside because you didn’t believe them and got eaten by zombies. Maybe the zombies broke in and they’re next. 

He’s saved from descending into full blown panic when he hears a noise coming from the bathroom. There’s still no response when he calls your name, but he’s at least pretty sure that you’re not dead. Preoccupied with figuring out how to tell you that he broke your expensive (ugly) vase, he doesn’t bother knocking. 

His mouth is open, words on the tip of his tongue, when he stops short. You’re crying, like full on sobbing, and Jeno definitely was not prepared to handle this.

Your forehead is pressed to the mirror, condensation forming on the glass and fogging your reflection. There’s quiet sobs leaving your mouth, your shoulders shaking with the force of them, and Jeno feels his heart drop to his stomach. His mouth feels dry and there are hot tears forming behind his eyes.

Jeno feels frozen, wanting to help but afraid to. He turns to leave but you spot him and he stiffens, caught. You freeze for a moment before wiping your eyes with the back of your hands and sniffing almost violently in a frantic attempt to compose yourself. You smile but it’s lopsided and looks more like a grimace.

“Are you alright?” You’re not, it’s obvious that you’re not, but he finds himself asking anyways because he just doesn’t know what to say.

You nod but the movement’s jerky. “Yeah. Yeah! No, I’m fine. Are you?” The first word comes out as a croak and you clear your throat before trying again.

A tear slips down your right eye and you wipe at it quickly, almost angrily, as if it’s betraying you by showing how sad you are. Jeno raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s fine if you’re not.”

Another tear slips out as you try to smile, followed by another, until there’s too many for you to try to wipe away. You try to nod but give up halfway through and end up shaking your head, breaking down completely. Jeno moves forward on instinct, arms held open, and you cling to him as if he’s your lifeline.

“I’m scared.” You sob, the words broken and small. “I’m so, so scared.”

Jeno feels so unbelievably guilty as he holds your shaking figure, feeling his shirt become damp with your tears. The sound of your sobs drill holes into his heart. He feels sick as he thinks about how quick to hate you he was, how quick he was to talk shit about you when he didn’t know anything about you.

He rubs your back soothingly, dropping his face down until your hair tickles his nose. There are tears pricking the back of his eyes, too, and he wills them not to fall. 

There’s a voice in the back of his head that sounds vaguely like Jaemin’s telling him that the bathroom is not the best place to have a breakdown. Jeno keeps his arms around you as he steps back, pulling you with him and successfully managing to usher you into your room. He lets go of you when he sits down, fully expecting you to sit down next to him. Nothing prepares him for you to climb into his lap and curl up against him. He pats your back gently and bounces his knee anxiously. All he can do is whisper that it’s going to be alright, that he’s got you. The words taste bitter on his tongue because he knows they’re probably lies.

You wear out eventually, the full body sobs simmering down to occasional hiccups. Your breathing evens out eventually, your head heavy against his chest. Jeno peaks down at you and finds your eyes closed.

He carefully moves you onto the bed, trying his damn hardest not to wake you up. You make a noise just as he’s pulling the covers over you and he freezes, relaxing when you don’t move again. Jeno finds himself lingering even though there’s no reason for him to be there anymore, not when you’re asleep. But he finds himself mesmerised by how peaceful and innocent you look right now. There are tear tracks on your cheek and he wipes at them with his thumb, hesitating for only a moment before pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

A hand reaches out to him just as he’s leaving, grazing the side of his leg. He turns to see you looking at him with bleary eyes, a pout on your face. Panic runs through him and he prays that you didn’t feel the kiss. He doesn’t even know why he did it.

“Stay?” It’s just one word, and he’s not even sure if it’s a question or a command, but he finds himself walking back to the bed. His plan is to sit on the edge and maybe let you hold his hand, but you frown at him before pushing him to lay down. You only seem to hesitate for a moment before laying back down next to him, tugging one of his arms around you. “Cuddle me.” Jeno huffs a laugh at your bossiness, complying with you because hey, you’ve been crying and yeah, it’s nice to hold someone. He doesn’t mean to fall asleep with his face pressed against the nape of your neck, but that’s just what happens.

He sure as hell doesn’t mean to make it a habit, but again, that’s just what happens. Jeno finds himself in your bed every night for the next week, his arms wrapped tightly around you, your body pressed tightly against his. It’s weird for sure, considering he’s A) never shared a bed with a girl before and B) neither of you discuss it, even though it’s definitely supposed to be weird to share a bed with a stranger. 

You don’t question it when Jeno shows up the next night, sitting hesitantly on the edge of your bed as he asks if you’re feeling better. He wonders if you can see through the thinly veiled excuse for him to hopefully hold you in his arms again. Sure, he definitely could have asked you when he saw you in the morning, or during lunch, or at any other part of the day. So sue him, he feels a little protective of you now, and it feels nice to share a bed with someone.

“Yeah, sorry you had to see that.” You try to laugh it off but it sounds hollow. “I just kinda thought you were joking around, y’know? But then my parents really didn’t come home, and the phone lines really aren’t back up, and it kinda just hit me at once. Um.” You laugh again but it sounds broken and your eyes are looking a little glassy. Jeno offers you a hug and you don’t hesitate before crawling into his arms, burying your head in his chest before pushing him to lay down. 

And he doesn’t question it when you tug him into your room the next night, an extra pair of clothes sitting on the desk. A feeling of satisfaction rises up in his chest that you chose him over the other three boys, but he tries to tamp it down.

Even Renjun didn’t say anything when he saw them one night, though he definitely gave Jeno a ‘what the fuck’ type of look. It’s the same look that all of the boys give him when they’re all huddled around the TV watching some movie from the 90s that you’d found the disk for. 

Hyuck, Renjun, and Jaemin are sprawled out on the couch. Donghyuck puts his head on Renjun’s lap and the elder attempts to choke him, laughing and stroking his hair when all Hyuck does is fake a moan. You and Jeno are curled together on the reclining chair, your head on his chest and his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. Jaemin had shot Jeno a curious glance earlier but didn’t say anything.

Jeno’s battling the urge to press another kiss to your forehead- this time when you’re wide awake and have the chance of feeling it- when Jaemin saves him. He’s off the couch- probably bored with the movie- and looking through one of the windows.

“Hey, you’ve got a pretty big backyard.” Jaemin points out, turning to call it over your shoulder. You hum. “What’s that big building out there?”

Your face is smashed into Jeno’s chest and he feels the vibrations when you speak. The words are muffled and barely comprehensible even to him, who’s the closest in proximity to you.

“What?”

“She said it’s a greenhouse.” Jeno responds. Jaemin raises his eyebrows again- seriously, twice in one day is too much- and Jeno shrugs in response.

Renjun pipes up this time. “You didn’t want to tell us earlier?”

You actually lift your head this time. “No? It’s not that interesting?”

Renjun stares at you like you’re dumb. Jeno’s been on the receiving end of it many times. “You’re right. It’s not like it’s a source of food or anything. Y’know, the thing that we’re probably gonna run out of soon. That thing that we kind of need to live?”

Your eyes widen in realization.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

can you meet me tonight in detention? (Iida Tenya X Reader)

I’s been wanting to write for Iida for a while... and so I did! My best... I love this boy he’s so underrated compared to Deku, Bakugo and Todoroki and he’s so nice... uptight... but nice...

Summary: Even the hardest workers get stressed out and exhausted, but sometimes stressed out just snap...

Warning: The reader is not going to be very kind in this story because well... while I have my limits on how mean a reader can be, I also thought it’d be neat to feature a mean-ish kind of reader in a story. But... if you don’t really like, I don't recommend this.

I also wrote this because I’m so stressed out I wish I could scream at someone since the people I’m around IRL either don’t notice or just don’t give a shit. 

Also angst, mentions of stress and anxiety, but with a happy ending. 

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vw9k5HWGwI

I'm not a bad guy So don't treat me bad if I'm feeling sad, alright? Please don't be mad if I don't smile back, alright? If I fuck up my words, don't think I'm absurd, alright? Alright?

“Are you serious…?” You said outloud as you sat on your bed, looking at your phone and reading up on certain pages and wikis that interested you as a means to distract yourself from the fact that you had a shit-ton of homework due at the end of the week, as well as like 3 different tests.

Thankfully, Iida was already kind enough to actually help you study for the test that was today in class, and even helped you in the other subjects and yet for some reason your brain still felt empty. He was so nice, he really did help you but you envied how he could easily retain this information. Clearly, he knew you were struggling, but you had a feeling he didn’t entirely get just how much you were struggling both emotionally and physically.

You wanted to tell him, you did but at the same time it wasn’t any of his business. Iida was too sweet to put up with your bullshit and you weren’t going to do that to him. So to you it just felt like it made more sense to bottle all of this up rather than be upfront with your stress. And anything else you might have felt for him…

When did school get so hard? And when did it catch up to you all so fast? Did you procrastinate worse than you thought? Or were the teachers just being extra cruel?

At this point you had no idea, but all that mattered was that you were in your dorm room and could only partially relax before those fucking tests. You just wanted to sleep for the rest of your life or at least sleep all the way through your school-life until you get somewhere you want.

The worst part? 

The second you blinked you realized that you had already somehow fallen asleep and the clock on your phone read 8 am. God... you couldn’t...

You couldn’t get yourself out of bed yet, you had to just lie down for another 5 minutes before those motherfucking tests.

“(Y/N). Are you okay?” However, a soft knock and a soft voice broke you from your thoughts but it was only Uraraka and you sighed in relief. She was okay, you didn’t mind hearing from her. “Uh huh I’m good Ochako.” You replied neutrally and you didn’t have to see her face to know she was smiling.

“Oh good! Breakfast will be ready soon okay?”

You smiled a little bit and gave another relieved sigh, “Okay… awesome I’ll be there shortly.” Good, you could stress eat at breakfast and try to not freak out or throw it back up when you start your tests.

Once you made it to the kitchen to eat with everyone, keeping to yourself and managing to somehow eat enough to satisfy your hunger for a little bit. Although you didn’t seem to notice that some of your friends, namely Uraraka, Midoriya and Iida had noticed how little you’ve been eating lately.

You barely had much breakfast at all...

However, you didn’t want to bother anyone at all until everything was taken care of so you quickly hid away once breakfast was over so you could relax in the commons for a little while longer until class starts and then you had to do all those blasted tests.

Once your ass hit the soft couch, you immediately put your ear buds in to play the first song that came to mind to block out the rest of the world for at least 3 minutes.

“Find a cure Find a cure for her life Put a price Put a price on her soul.”

“Oh my god Oh you think I'm in control Oh my god Oh you think it's all for fun.”

“Oh my God…” You mouth the lyrics and bobbed your head to the lyrics with your eyes closed, completely ignoring the reality around you as you sang this beautifully angry song that sounded just like your life right now.

“(L/N).”

And you had no idea that someone was trying to get your attention as you just kept mouthing the lyrics and dancing in seat to the rhythm. 

“(L/N).”

Nope, you couldn’t hear anything, you were too busy rocking out and listening to the screaming and the cries for help that you made you wanna scream too. Yeah! You were going to do it!

“(L/N)!”

Except you didn’t shout, it was someone else who had raised their voice and tapped your shoulder as you opened your eyes in shock and looked up at the offender with wide (E/C) eyes. It was Iida, and he didn’t look too happy with the fact that you had your earphones on full blast and didn’t hear him. But your shocked look just turned into a look of annoyance as you reluctantly put your music on pause.

“Please take off your headphones.” He started by politely requesting that you take the buds out of your ears and God you were so annoyed but did it anyway, “Ugh…” What did he want now? You were NOT in the mood.

“What Iida?” That came off a lot ruder than you intended to but at this point you were starting to care less and less.

“You really shouldn’t listen to your music at such high volume, it might actually worsen your hearing overtime.” He just HAD to give you a little mini-lecture about how listening to music too loud was going to make your hearing worse as you get older.

Why did you have a crush on him? Dammit, you wanted to focus on the fact that he was so handsome because he was. He was so handsome and such a good guy, and you adored him, but right now you weren’t in lovey-dovey mode, you were in hella-stressed mode and thus in a bad place to be lectured.

Hella-stressed mode brought out a less than pleasant side of you, where you just saw all the flaws in people and sometimes you did things you often regretted afterward. Right now you were holding it all back though, for Iida’s sake…

I'm physically exhausted Tired of my knuckles beating I'm chewing gum to pass this time Sadness, can't you see it? You're too busy seeking self-pleasures Look at how I'm feeling You write me up and say it's love And I can't believe it...

“Whatever, I’m going to the bathroom to wash my face or something... I’m exhausted.” Standing up, you tried to exit but he stopped you before you got the chance to take even a step forward. “I’m sorry (L/N) but could you please stay where you are? There’s something you and I need to discuss because I think it’s very important regarding your exhaustion.”

“Ugh.” You replied in annoyance, completely missing the concerned look on his face turn mildly offended, but at least he didn’t call you out on it. “I know you’re quite busy, but as of late you haven’t been eating very well. I’ve noticed it. I recommend that you start to monitor yourself because skipping even one meal can impact your moods and affect your health. Look at yourself, you’re out of it and that makes me wonder if you’ve been getting enough sleep.” He was telling you this like you didn’t already know that.

“Mm-hmm.” You nodded and hummed as you tried not to express ALL the annoyance you had right now.

“You’ve been falling behind a little bit too, I think it might be because of this decline in eating well. So please start taking better care of yourself okay? I can help you though if you-.” You had to stop him right there.

“I’m well aware of that Iida. Why do you think I’ve been working so hard? I know I’m falling behind… that’s why I’ve been working my ass off lately.” Keeping your cool (but barely) you explained yourself and hoped that it would make him see from your point of you, but he didn’t seem to entirely get your plight.

“And I commend you for that, but I’m also talking about your health here. Not taking care of yourself is going to make your grades suffer, it’s why you’re struggling right now.” Iida meant well, he really did, but he just did not understand…

“Is that really why I’m struggling? Is it?” So you lost some of your patience with him but didn’t raise your voice. Although he was a bit surprised at how you were biting back.

“Yes I believe so, that’s why I’m suggesting that you eat better so you don’t struggle like you currently are right now, and furthermore I recommend procrastinating less, I’m aware that you’re prone to that, which may also be why you’re struggling.” Twitching your eyebrow, you lost the ability to look at him because the more he spoke, the more it felt like he was just calling you out.

“Not everyone can be as on top of it as you okay?” Maybe this time he’d get the message to leave you alone, because right now you wanted him to just go and not remind you of how much you were sucking and how much stress you were in as your heart started to race...

And this wasn’t one of those crush heartbeating things, no, you were trembling because of everything that was starting to crawl into your skin as you resisted the urge to pace and run away or do something else undesirable...

Iida was even more surprised, but he still tried to be sympathetic because he was, he really was to your plight even though he wasn’t completely aware of how you were feeling. “(L/N) please… I’m not trying to put myself above you or offend you, I’m trying to help you because I’m worried about you and I want you to-“

That’s it…

“Dammit will you just SHUT YOUR TRAP AND LET ME HAVE THE LAST WORD FOR ONCE?!” There was nothing you saw other than red as you suddenly just screamed at the class rep and ignored how your shout had alarmed some of your classmates as they somewhat awkwardly arrived at the source of the shouting. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. You simply couldn’t have someone trying to talk you down and ignore the fact that you were so pissed off and stressed out. And you REALLY didn’t need someone to kick you while you’re down. Whether they intended to do that or not, you didn’t need it and you didn’t want it.

Iida was visibly horrified, his eyes went wide at your sudden outburst but he couldn’t just let you get away with talking to him like that when he was just trying to help you. “(L/N)! Watch your language and please don’t use that tone with me when I’m trying to help you!” Voice slightly raised, he still tried to retain a sense of professionalism and not just snap at you like you were doing as you gave him a look. Who the hell was he your dad?

“You may not be feeling well, I can sympathize with that but that’s why I-.” He really wanted to help you, and it was actually kind of hurting him that you didn’t seem to want it. But he had to help you, maybe he should have been helping you more. Because right now…

You couldn’t with him. You literally could not.

You could not pretend that everything was all right anymore, and Iida was unlucky enough to be around you while you were definitely not all right.

Hey, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension Let me crawl up into your mind, did I mention? Pretending everything's alright is detention...

“No you know what? Just stop! I am SICK to death of you always droning ON AND ON about shit I could care less about, because the truth is dude-” You were ready to just go on and on but to your shock, Iida was still trying to talk over you as a means to put an end to this. He hated the fact that he was even arguing with you about this, he never wanted to argue with any of his dear classmates.

“Enough already (L/N)! I won’t be spoken to in such a manner when I’m looking out for you! Please just let me-.” He cut you off, so you immediately did the same.

“No! Be quiet! That’s your problem! You’re like talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, YAP! Blah blah blah, on and on over and over again!” You made a mocking voice as you used both your hands to do the ‘blah blah’ gesture much to Iida’s slight horror at the way you just went off on him and weren’t stopping...

He tried very hard to try and get his word in as he stammered and every time he tried to speak you raised your voice and made yourself louder, meaner...

“Like oh my GOD I can’t believe how ANNOYING I didn’t realize you were until now! What kind of taste do I have?! I mean oh my GOD! You’re grating, you’re an uptight ass, you bitch, you nag, you’re privileged and don’t even know it, you’re an oblivious snob, you stick your nose in everyone’s business and you strut around acting like some kind of God Mode Mr. Goody Goody Two shoes, well cut it the fuck out! I’m tired of it man! I’m tired as hell, and I don’t need you up in my business and bothering the hell out of me you annoying priss! And I especially don’t need some privileged rich boy telling me that I need to take care of myself, when I don’t have the fucking advantages that you have!” As you let out quite a furious tangent and listed off all the things you disliked about your class rep with your fingers, you were so furious and making all these hand gestures you didn’t see the appalled look on his face. 

You DID see small glints of tears threatening to well in his eyes though. Oh he’s going to cry now? Typical. Apparently, he couldn’t handle the truth, could he? Classic rich boy move.

“(L/N)! N-Now you’re just being rude!” Iida was so lost for words at your barrage of insults and apparently how you really felt about him that there was little he could say to defend himself. Never in his life has anyone told him things like that.

And he looked even more distraught when he saw you laughing, “Oh! You’re gonna cry now? WOOOOOW… so you can dish it by being on people’s ass but you can’t even take it? I don’t feel sorry for you... Did I hurt your feelings? Did I hurt the rich boy's feelings~?”

“Stop it…!” His voice cracked ever so slightly and he hated himself for it as you relentlessly went in to drive the final knife into the fresh wound.

“Well then how about YOU stop fucking up my school life and leave me the hell alone already you four-eyed, made-in-the-shade jerk?!” You were standing big as you shouted at him with exhausted eyes that he couldn’t see through his tearful ones.

“Y-You’re going to detention after classes are over!” Iida quickly snapped back. He wasn’t certain if he had that authority but he needed to do something, anything to reassert himself, even though his quivering lip and the tears in his eyes hardly made him intimidating for you as you scoffed and threw your hands up in the air.  

“Great! I’m gonna love it there! You wanna know why? Cuz I get to be away from you!”

The fact that you were in trouble and definitely going to detention didn’t seem to deter you as the taller male hitched his breath, forcing back the rest of his tears and threw an arm to cover his eyes when the traitorous tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn’t let his classmates see him like this, he couldn’t let you see him like this so he could only do what his available part of his brain told him to do, the part based on emotion, and so he quickly dashed off away from his classmates as Uraraka and Midoriya tried to call him back while you just huffed and watched him run off with slightly wide eyes…

De-detention De-detention Pretending everything's all right is detention...

“Oh my… (L/N)… please, I understand you’re upset but… please let’s all just calm down…” However, because the other could tell you were still mad, Yaoyorozu tried to fill in for Iida in getting you calm down, but unfortunately she underestimated your anger at the moment.

“Ohhh like it’s SO easy… you’re just as bad as him Yaoyorozu! What’s the rich girl got to worry about huh? You can calm down easily since you can afford EEEEEEVERYTHING in the world…” You were still pissed and reacting purely on anger without even thinking of what you were saying, and poor Yaoyorozu walked into the lion’s den not knowing that the lion was awake and pissed.

You were the lion.

“W-What?! B-But I-.”

“But NOTHING. Calm down?! That’s easy for you to say! You’re SO fucking smart and I bet everything Asshole-sensei gives you is like no fucking problem, what are you even doing here Yaoyorozu?!” You couldn’t take it anymore, what were all the rich kids doing at this school when they could do whatever they wanted? While people like you, Uraraka and Kirishima were working your asses off because you had to actually work for it.

It wasn’t Iida’s fault, and it wasn’t Yaoyorozu’s fault either and you knew it, but you were so pissed off and at an all-time stress high you thought the tears welling in her eyes were innocuous and just another way to get sympathy from the others. Of course, the princess wanted sympathy because she wouldn’t and couldn’t understand real world struggles. And you were certain that the princess was going to get what she wanted because you had no doubt that she always got what she wanted.

“I-I…” Oh now SHE was crying,  wow...

“I-I’m here to be a hero like everyone else is! Just like you!” She exclaimed and covered her mouth when the tears were coming and she couldn’t stop them, but you had no sympathy for her right now. She could do anything she wanted, and she wanted to be a hero? So why didn’t she just buy her way into an agency?

“Oh! You’re crying now! HA! Classic princess move, can’t handle any kind of real world truth because you’re SOOOOO sheltered and happy in your big fancy castle and people like me are stuck in little shitholes barely making ends meet, well go cry home to your rich mommy and daddy sweetheart don’t cry here. If you can’t handle real-world shit, go cry home to mommy and daddy and maybe think about how great you have it and how you have never struggled a goddamn day in your life, while people like me got shit and have to deal with everything by ourselves using what WE got every goddamn day...” Your display of aggression and downright callousness shocked everyone, but Jirou didn’t hesitate to step in to defend Yaoyorozu when she burst into tears and ran over to a worried Ashido and Uraraka.

“Okay that’s it! You better leave her alone (L/N)! And chill the hell out! She didn’t do anything to you!”

Wrong choice of words…

“I need to chill the hell out?!”

“Yeah!”

Girl vs girl, Mineta was much too scared to enjoy the concept of a catfight as you and Jirou got up in each other’s faces, but it didn’t last long when your anger took the reigns, “How about you shut the fuck up so I don’t have to listen to your condescending smart-ass comments?! Ain’t nobody asked for your imput!”

“I’m serious (L/N)! Cut it out or-“

“Or what?! I can kick your ass easily Jirou, don’t even try me right now, cuz I am HELLA stressed out and my telekinesis can fuck anything up cuz of the headache I’ve had for the last two weeks. I already beat up several people in the Sports Fest and another edgy chick at the USJ. But if you wanna try to pick a fight with me go ahead, it’ll end badly I guarantee it…”

Your threat actually intimidated her because she’s seen you use your telekinesis quirk in battle and you got good with your quirk, but didn’t have COMPLETE control over it especially when your emotions got the better of you and you were in the WORST possible mood. Jirou reluctantly backed off as you scoffed.

“Good.” You could have beaten her in a battle, but that was the last thing you wanted since you were tired and mad as hell. You were going to feel horrible about it later but right now you were stuck on anger, and your concerned classmates just wanted to help you.

“(L/N)… being angry is not a pretty feeling…”

“Yeah, c’mon now just… try and-“

Not wanting to anger you any further, kind souls like Aoyama and Ojiro attempted to try and get you to calm down, but it didn’t work…

“Try and what?! I don’t need you guys to tell me what to do either! What can you dolts even do?!” You shouted at them too, and already the two blondes were scared as hell and trembling at the volume you were using.

“Aoyama! You’re a joke and I have NO idea how you even got into this class!” You pointed at the taller blonde who’s eyes widened and he backed away slightly, and then you turned your finger over to Ojiro.

“Ojiro you’re even worse! You’re weak-willed, boring and your so-called costume is the definition of a fashion faux-pas!” Suddenly you shouted that last word a little bit louder as he, like Aoyama, backed away slightly when your words straight up attacked them…

Quietly Aoyama gasped when the words hit him, it was a tad bit dramatic but genuine as your words sincerely did hurt as the tears instantly sprung to his eyes while Ojiro felt an uncomfortable swell of hurt in his chest as he couldn’t fight his own tears at how much that stung and how you just kept yelling.

“What kinda advice do two of the most frivolous students in our class have for me? Hmm?! Go on, lemme hear it!”

“N-Nevermind… s-sorry for bothering you…” Ojiro tried and failed to hold back the tears in his eyes, and it wasn’t just him, Aoyama was on the verge of tears as he hiccuped, “O-Oui… w-we didn’t mean to… upset you…”

They both timidly apologized, before they both dashed away from you, crying as they covered their eyes. in an attempt to hide their tears On any normal day you would have felt horrible, but not right now, not yet…

“(L/N)!”

Your next victim in the making? You turned with a frenzied look in your eye to see a very nervous looking Midoriya as he was trembling where he stood. He KNEW he was in trouble just for daring to speak up and you could tell he was AFRAID. “P-Please… s-stop this…? I-I know that you’re mad but…”

“Well, well, well, well, wellllll~!” Cutting him off you threw your hands in the air, “The famous Deku, always, ALLLLLLWAYS gotta play the motherfuckin’ hero, well… NOT TODAY DEKU!” You went from 5 to 10 just like that as Izuku shrunk and yelped a bit.

“I’m not in the mood to be hearing nothing from your goody goody two-shoes ass cuz I got shit on my mind you couldn’t even begin to understand cuz you’re SOOOOO smart, so when I say ‘Shut the fuck up’ I mean SHUT THE FUCK UP!” God you were being so mean and a part of you felt horrible when Izuku was trembling with fearful tears in his eyes, but you were still angry and your anger was still in control as you saw the green-haired boy back away…

“Right choice… now… does anybody else have anything that they wanna share or ask me?” You asked everyone else, outright warning them all as Bakugo snickered a bit at how angry you were. Was it wrong that he found this kind of awesome? Way to tell off the privileged ones and the losers and ESPECIALLY Deku…

I wanna go home and you say, "Now is not the time" Fuck being all alone in back of the classroom, ah Stop calling up my phone, trying to say that I've been out of line When all I ever asked was to go to the bathroom...

“Why did Iida, Ojiro and Aoyama just run off crying?”

Aizawa’s voice broke you out of the rage you were in as he entered the room. Even though you turned to face him with the same exhausted and irritated look on your face. He wasn’t having it, but neither were you. However, you knew better than to shout at this asshole that was your teacher and you didn’t need to be in anymore trouble than you already were.

He knew you were pissed off and stressed out, but he saw three of his students run off in tears, and then Yaoyorozu and Midoriya were crying too. Classic stress-induced meltdown…

“I made them cry sir.” You muttered and raised your hand as you didn’t look any less annoyed. Yeah you made them cry, so what? Dammit… you made them cry… for some reason that didn’t feel very good when you actually said it outloud.

“Why?” He asked you in a plain, simple tone as you tried not to look anymore annoyed. “Iida told me things I didn’t want to hear. So I yelled at him. Ojiro and Aoyama tried to get me to calm down, but I didn’t wanna hear that neither, so I yelled at them too. Yaoyorozu and Midoriya too.” You had to reluctantly admit what you had done, and to your shock Aizawa didn’t seem TOO annoyed.

“Iida said I have detention because I was rude to him. I don’t really care that I was but I will be in detention.” Sighing, you at least had enough balls to admit that you weren’t going to skip detention, which mildly surprised Aizawa as he sighed.

These kids…

“Very well. Make sure to apologize to everyone when you’re done.” He wasn’t good at the whole comforting and making kids make up, so he just expected you to apologize because he knew that you would start feeling bad soon. You weren’t normally like this, it was just stress and he understood that, but he wasn’t going to straight-up tell you to relax. And you didn’t expect him to either since he knew his students knew better. 

Aizawa cared about his students, and you knew that, and you were actually glad that he didn’t punish you any further and instead just made sure you remembered to go to detention.

A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER…

You did it. 

You finished all the fucking tests and you were freaking the fuck out. You had no idea how you did, but at the same time you really didn’t give a shit. They were done, and that’s all that mattered to you right now.

Yet, why didn’t you feel as good as you wanted to? After a test you normally felt SOME relaxation and proceeded to treat yourself or just go to sleep after everything was done. Except, treating yourself felt impossible…

For one, you had detention to go to after school. Second, once tests were finished you became aware of how HELLA awkward everything was in class after your meltdown. Iida refused to look at you the entire time as he quickly averted you and avoided you every time you were in the vicinity. Every time you even looked at him, he ignored you. Which actually really stung...

Then Midoriya and Jirou almost seemed nervous when you were close too, as they looked away from you out of fear that you’d say something mean again. Then Yaoyorozu, Ojiro and Aoyama practically teared up when you looked over at them.

Clearly… they were all still feeling hurt over your words and how you behaved. Did you feel bad? Yes…

“Are you okay (Y/N)?” Thank God Uraraka at least wasn’t treating you like some kind of monster as she seemed the most concerned for you.

You shook your head and sighed, “I was SO stressed out Ochako… I just… snapped… I know it’s no excuse for what I said to Iida and the others but… god… I was SO stressed out… and I took everything out on them… I needed to, I mean I shouldn’t have but I just… felt like I had to…” You could be honest with Uraraka, and although she didn’t approve, she understood.

“I know… it’s okay… I wasn’t feeling very good either because of the tests either... it’s stressful, it really is... But… you can still apologize to them… when you’re ready. They’ll understand, after all… Iida… Deku, Jirou, Yaoyorozu, Ojiro and Aoyama are nice. I know that they’ll forgive you and understand why you were upset and know that you really didn’t mean any of it. They know you (Y/N).” She gave you a soft smile in hopes that it would reassure you, and it did a little bit as you gave her a little smile in return.

“I sure hope so…” 

Even though she could tell you were nervous, Uraraka had faith in you. She knew you could do it, and she knew that you would win them back because after all they were in this together right? Everyone stressed out when it came to trying to be good at what you’re doing.

You thought so too. You were sad, that’s all, you were stressed out, that’s all. It wasn’t an excuse, but still. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

And you really didn’t mean to hurt Iida...

Hey, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension Let me crawl up into your mind, did I mention? Pretending everything's alright is detention 

What have you done?

Being in detention with Present Mic made you realize that you screwed up. Albeit because he tried to do The Breakfast Club thing by making you and the other students in detention just write why you thought you were here. In English.

You didn’t really have a problem with English but thinking about why you were in detention and writing about why you thought you were in detention made you realize EXACTLY why you were in here. You snapped at your innocent classmates, threatened one classmate, and made some of your classmates’ cry, even when they were trying to help you, you made them cry…

You made Ojiro cry. You made Aoyama cry. You made Midoriya and Yaoyorozu cry.

You made Iida cry…

You made the boy you’ve been crushing on for quite some time cry. He wanted to help you and you said all of those horrible things to him and made him feel lower than he’s probably ever felt. And Iida really was a sweet guy. Yes… he was uptight, yes he came off as a bit of a snob, but dammit, he only bothered you because he cared about you, he helped you because he cared about you, and you yelled at him and hurt his feelings.

The thought made you want to cry as a tear dripped down your cheek and onto the paper you were writing on to confess your crimes.

“Hey… it’s okay now (L/N)…” Present Mic was kind enough to offer you some sympathy though because he and Eraser knew that you were just under a lot of stress and meant none of the nastier things you might have said to your classmates. “It’s okay… the worst part is over for now doncha think? It’s time to move on! And squeeze in some downtime afterwards yeah~! Maybe relax yourself now that you have a little time to breath!” He was still as excitable as ever, and it actually made you smile as you wiped your tears away.

“Yeah... yeah you’re right sir...” 

No more negativity. Not right now.

You wanted positivity, and show that kind positivity to your classmates from now on. As soon as you were finished with your paper and handed it to Mic, you were rushing out the door. “You got this!!” He made sure to give you that support too, because he knew a stressed-out student when he saw one and that’s the only reason you got upset in the first place. They needed to do something about students and mental health…

Tonight I can feel your blood pressure rise Let me crawl up into your mind Pretending everything's alright Is detention...

To be continued...

[thebestestboyo]

How Remus Started Working For Patton: Part 5

Masterpost

Tw: Remus being Remus/Swearing/Drug Mention/Drinking Coffee

While it took some getting used to, Remus was immensely pleased at his newfound membership to the Anacondas.

Not ONLY did he have another person to annoy the shit out of daily (this position was held by Dee and Virgil exclusively, as well as his brother), but he also was able to pop by and bring Pat on his adventures so he could feel that fuzzy sensation in his chest.

Ree still couldn't determine why he felt that way, but he supposed it was because Pat would listen to him ramble without telling him that it was stupid.

Or maybe it was because he was pretty? He was remarkably attractive, whether in a skirt or in a pair of jeans, and his hair seemed softer than even that dead rabbit Virgil dared him to touch once. Whether that was because the rabbit was dead or because Patton was Patton, it didn't matter. But even then, Remus had met plenty of attractive people! And he didn't usually have this reaction, at least, not one this soft.

Maybe it was the danger? Pat was part of a crime organization. Remus always did like the danger of doing things most people saw as dangerous or scandalous, but it didn't feel particularly high stakes yet. The most risky encounter they had was that damned seagull chasing after them. (Remus was going to kill that bird one of these days...)

He supposed he'd have to ask his brother. Grosssssss. Remus hated asking his brother for advice, it always was some fairytale crap or something similar. But, as Virgil wasn't home, and he was NOT going to ask Patton (that would be embarrassing), Dee (they're brothers) or Logan (he's not too good at emotions), he had no other choice.

So that's why he was standing on the balcony of Roman's apartment, hair full of leaves, sighing for what seemed like the twentieth time as Roman continued to not notice him.

"Oh brother dorkest!~ It is me, your evil twin! Get your gay ass out here!"

That seemed to do the trick, well, to some degree. It at least made Roman jump, turning his head to look through the window at him.

Not too long after, it also caused him to finally open the window! Spectacular.

"Remus you know I have a front door."

"Oh but it's just so much more fun to see your reaction when I use unconventional means! Remember when I used your vent system?"

"Yeah, and you nearly fell through it. To what do I owe the displeasure of a meeting with you?" Despite his words, Roman was clearly biting back a smile.

Hopping through the open frame, Remus began to pace around the apartment, leaving a trail of leaves in his wake. It had been windy outside, he couldn't help it!

"I am facing an emotional dilemma!"

"Dilemma? Who taught you these fancy words? Where is my real brother???" Roman crossed his arms where he stood, leaning up against the wall in amusement.

"Oh shut your butt. Seriously though, I am facing problems and all my other friends are unable to help at this time."

"That's a first."

Remus ran a hand through his hair, wishing he had put a braid in it or something. Normally he'd be fine with it full of leaves, he'd had worse, but right now he was on edge and he'd prefer if there wasn't the crinkly sound every time he moved. "Its with this guy dipshit! This guy that for whatever reason I cannot understand why he enjoys my presence."

With that statement, Roman's demeanor changed drastically. Making his way over to his brother, he sat him down on the couch. "This seems like a problem in which we'll need some coffee. You still like yours the same?"

Ree simply nodded, still stewing over his emotions.

His brother came back holding two mugs, one that was coffee only in name, and the other that was some amalgamation of cream cheese, sriracha sauce, and hot fudge.

He handed the abomination to Remus, sipping his own. "Ok spill."

"So a few weeks back, I met this guy. And I thought it would be like all my other flings ya know? Chill, not much expectations, and ending after about a week. But this guy is just, pure sunshine. He and I flirt a bit, and he's pretty cuddly but as far as I can tell he sees me as a friend. But I don't know how I see him, because whenever I'm around him I get this dizzy feeling and it's like being drunk and taking hallucinogenics at the same time??"

"Ah so you're in love with him!!!"

Remus nearly spit out his drink at how sudden it was. "Excuse me??"

"You're in love!!!"

"That's ridiculous! I don't do that! The most I have is a one night stand! A fling if I'm particularly bored! I don't do 'in love' my dearest bother." Making air quotes with his free hand, he continued sipping his drink, if you could call it that.

Seriously. What was even in it??? It looked disgusting! But for some reason Remus kept drinking it??? What a madman.

"Well, tell me about this guy then."

"What???"

"For curiosity's sake! It's been so long since I've had a relationship so I'm projecting to yours."

"Haven't gotten laid recently?" Remus wiggled his eyebrows, knocking elbows with him to see if he'd spill his drink.

"Ugh!! Vulgar, he'd at least have to buy me dinner first." Ro swiped his mug away before the mountain of whipped cream was disturbed, frowning. "But seriously! What's this guy like?"

"If you want the basic description, he's cute as fuck. If you want the less basic description, he's quite possibly the only guy who I would want to slow dance with since...collage at least."

"Wow, slow dancing??"

"I KNOW right??? He's got these pretty-ass eyes and whenever I look into them I just melt and he's so soft that when he hugs me I'm just a puddle of blood and guts on the floor and I'd let him tear the heart from my chest if he asked."

"Wow. That's...that is a crush. That my dear brother, is a crush!"

"Ugh shut up. So what's up with your life right now? Make any new musicals?"

Roman's face lit up, and then dimmed almost immediately after. He didn't meet Ree's eyes as he spoke, slowly stirring his drink. "Well..."

"Well what?"

"I did, but it was rejected again."

"That's bullshit! Your scripts are amazing! Even if they lack the blood and gore, they're some of the best pieces I've ever read! That cock of a publishing company should be begging for your works!"

"It's really not that big of a deal...they were unpolished anyways."

"I'm going to commit arson soon enough."

"Remus no! I'll just try some of the other publishers. I'll have to work twice as hard, but maybe one of them will like it..."

As Remus looked at his brother, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how his body curled into itself, as if it was barely staying together.

"Dipshit...you haven't been sleeping well huh?"

A shake of his head was all Remus needed to set both of their mugs down on the coffee table, lifting up his brother. "You need a break. I don't trust you not to work yourself to death."

"Remus no, I have to get working on the next-"

"Nope! I'm taking you to my pal's place. He'll watch after you. I'm going to work soon, so I'd do it myself, but he's second best."

"Please tell me you aren't leaving me at a bar."

"Nope! Logan doesn't drink. Says it messes with his brain's 'structural integrity' or something."

Roman, used to his antics, simply wrapped his arms around Remus, leaning into him as he grumbled something he couldn't hear.

"Don't worry, I'll grab your keys so you can get back in. He's nice I swear!"

"If I end up dead in an alley I'm haunting you."

"Virgil would hate that. He already thinks we have ghosts in our apartment, you'd be the final straw before he buys an ouija board."

They talked quietly as Remus grabbed some of Roman's important stuff, then heading out. Thankfully, no one bothered them on the walk over, and Remus didn't have much problem knocking on the stained door of Logan's place, which, in his words, 'serves as my workplace as well as my domicile so Remus kindly stop bothering my cat.'

"Hey Locoooooooooo!"

There was banging from inside as his only answer unfortunately, so Remus assumed that he was in his lab.

Time to let himself in! Roman had fallen asleep on his shoulder by now, so he couldn't set him down to crawl through a window. Crap. Might as well use the keys then.

Maneuvering his grip, he managed to grab them from his pocket, stepping in. Entropy, who was sitting on her cat tower, merely blinked at him before hopping off, most likely to go find Logan.

"Lo-comotive!"

"Remus I swear if your roommate threw you out again because you messed with a skunk-"

Ah! There he was. He must have been working with one of his machines again, when he came out to greet him, he was wearing his metal-working mask. "Hi Logie!~"

"Hello Remus. Why does it appear as if you're carrying a dead body?"

"This is my brother! I told you about him before. He needs someone to watch after him so he actually rests for once in his goddamned life."

Roman, who had awoken by now from all the noise, struggled to get out of Remus's arms. "I'm not a child-"

"I can't watch him right now since I have to go work at Hell Incorporated-" He made a face, disgusted at even the mention of his office job, "-so I thought you could?"

Logan turned up his mask, looking closer at Roman, his face...red? Wait what? It was probably because the machine tended to get hot. Or...

"Remus, you want me to nanny your twin brother?"

"Yep! He's an incorrigible little menace that won't sleep unless you force him to or he passes out from exhaustion."

"This is a grown man we are discussing?"

Piping up from his struggle to get down, Roman turned to look at Logan. "Exactl-"

His intended speech cut off as he locked eyes, exhaling a little bit at the sight. "oh."

Glancing between the two of them, Remus noticed the redness on both of their cheeks, and wanting to see none of whatever stirred up his brother, simply pushed him into Logan's twig arms. "I'll be back soon!"

Both turned to look at him, startled looks on both their faces.

"Remus!"

He was already out the door, snickering.

[fuckinuchihas]

KONOHAMARU X READER

NOT RATED-WILL PROBABLY END UP EXPLICIT

PART ONE

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Injury to Reader, Embarrassed Reader, Uzumaki relation implied of Reader, more to be added later I’m sure.

If I’ve forgotten anything be sure to let me know!

You don’t want to use it, you haven’t in years...it’s hidden for a reason and only members of or around the Uzumaki clan have mastered it. 

It will give too much away and yet…

You will die, Konohamaru will die if you don’t.

Giving your own life for a mission is one thing, but you won’t let his light fade out so quickly.

“Adamantine Sealing Chains!!” you shout, the last threads of your chakra sear out from your chest. You feel your heart pound in your ears, it’s so loud you can’t hear or focus on anything else. Not until it slows to a stuttering rhythm and you manage to lift your eyelids one more time.

You got the bastard. He made it clear that he was hell bent on bringing down the leaf and then moving on to the entire land of fire plus he had the power to back it up.

You feel faint but force your eyes to stay open until you’re really sure he’s no longer a threat and finally, the dark, cold chakra that you’re pulling from him ebbs out. You sigh in relief as your body starts to fall, you barely feel the soft landing before everything slips into the darkness.

~~~~~!!~~~~~

“Hey, don’t you think it’s time to get up now?” he says, though the normal playfulness is forced. You can tell even after only knowing him for a few days. The jonin apprentice to the hokage has actually been quite useful, much to your surprise.

You’d heard rumors that Lord Seventh had taken the kid under his wing back when he was a genin himself and you considered the possibility that maybe it was just a brotherly fondness for the boy. However their relationship must have matured alongside their incredible ninja powers because other than the one time you were lucky enough to catch the end of a battle starring Hatake Kakashi, the copy ninja; before he became the sixth hokage, you’d never seen anyone so...so...badass.

It was hot.

You didn’t wanna wake up from the nice dream you were having, reliving the moment your own badass skills saved the people of the village hidden in the leaves. They might not be your own clan, but with an Uzumaki in charge it felt more like home than anywhere else.

“Mmm home,” you say, mumbling in your sleep.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible just yet. You need to eat something so you can regain your strength,’ he says, though you’re not lucid enough to really process the words.

You float in that in between sleep and rest stage just a little longer before the pains of battle bring you crashing back to reality. You grunt as you attempt to sit up, but he puts a gentle hand on your shoulder and quickly keeps you from elevating too much.

“Easy, you’re still in pretty bad shape and I did a rush job on wrapping that leg, you need to be careful,” Konohamaru says, but he is a solid weight at your back and helps you sit up just enough to comfortably drink the soup broth he made for you.

You look skeptically at the dish, “I have some food pills in my pack…” you say, but he vetoes it quickly with a shake of his head.

“You need the protein, it’s not bad I promise,” he says, offering a spoonful.

“Not bad, how reassuring…” you answer sarcastically, but you sip the broth all the same. It has a weird salty taste like he showed absolutely no restraint to seasoning but you’ve certainly had worse so you keep quiet and let him feed you.

And here you were hoping to escape this with your dignity intact. So much for plans A-F for fuck my life.

Once you’ve eaten enough to suit him and your stomach, you do start to feel mildly better which really only makes you feel worse. The numbness and emotional distance from the fight have disappeared bringing your pain and injuries to the forefront of your mind.

“So can I ask you something?” he says, and you sigh. You expected this was coming.

“If I say no, will you give up?” you reply, clouding your eyes and flattening yourself back against the mat.

“If you don’t want to answer I’ll understand and try not to bother you but obviously after that...I can’t help but be curious.”

It’s fair, it definitely wasn’t something you wanted to reveal but now he’s seen more of you than anyone has in a long time and somehow that makes you feel like he deserves a few answers. You swallow and breathe out a long exhale. “You can have three questions, and if you tell anyone, you’re dead.”

You expect him to just come out with a bunch of nonsense because as much as he’s nurtured some damn fine jutsu, he’s kind of like an excitable puppy at the best of times. Instead he nods and starts to think on it. Fuck...it means his questions will be more pointed, but you made a deal so you resign yourself to whatever that might mean for your future.

He stays quiet a lot longer than you expect, you nearly drift back off to sleep before the smooth baritone of his voice filters back in the small space between you.

“Where did you come from? he asks carefully. You can tell he’s trying to make it more conversational than a tactical assault of questions, but you also can’t help but snort at the idea that it’s anything else.

“I grew up in a small village outside the land hidden in the waterfalls,” you answer, “Though my father said we came from Uzushiogakure but that one day the village hidden in the leaves would be my home and I never questioned it...still don’t.”

He mulls that over, seeming to take it in before speaking again.

“Are you-I mean does Naruto know?” Konohamaru asks, this time not nearly as confident when he speaks.

“Pretty sure he knows the leaf village is my home, yeah…” You try but he gives you a wry grin and you can’t just let it be no matter how much you might want to. “No, at least I don't think he does.”

He seems to understand the weight of what you said and those big deep grey eyes stare back at you with something that makes you feel a little queasy.

“That’s two, the other one can wait...I need to rest,” you lie, well it’s hardly a lie but it’s the best escape plan you can come up with so you’ll take it. Thankfully he lets it go and doesn’t push further.

It feels like a hollow victory.

~~~~~!!~~~~~

He wakes you up again a few hours later, the hottest part of the day has finally passed and you feel exhausted still but thankfully you’re not in quite as much pain. This time when you reluctantly start to stir, he’s there at your side in an instant but instead of pushing you back down he just supports your back as you try to sit up fully, or at least mostly upright.

“Here,” he says, pushing a bowl of soup with some actual meat in it and your stomach grumbles happily in return. You feel your face heat up just a bit at how loud it was, but you ignore it in favor of actually tasting the soup. It’s not any better the second time but the fish has been properly treated and cooked so when you get a bite of it past your lips you actually moan in pleasure.

“This is really good…the fish,” you specify, because the salt in the brine is even heavier with the added meat.

“Thank you, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to catch anything, I didn’t want to leave you alone too long… but I managed to get us a few catfish before I had to come back,” he says, and you feel a vicious flare of heat rising up in your belly at the mention of you being incapacitated, a burden...something you swore to yourself that you’d never be.

The fish doesn’t taste nearly as good for the consecutive bites but it will help rebuild your chakra so you eat it all the same, determined to pay back his efforts ten fold.

Once you’ve finished, you remind him that he has another question to ask but he waves you off and says there’s time for that later as he cleans up the campsite. 

You feel the debt grow heavier on your shoulders.

You’ve been putting it off as long as possible because you are the master of your own body but eventually it rebels and you know you’re not going to be able to ignore it any longer. Enough of your chakra has replenished so that you don’t feel woozy at the thought of moving but the injury on your leg is still very much a hindrance and the last thing you want, is to ask for help.

You wait until his back is turned and using the tree behind you, you brace yourself against it and slowly pull the rest of your body up until you’re standing. You’re a little light headed and you can feel the bloody scratches on your back because your jonin vest wasn’t there to protect you, but you’re upright so...progress.

You stumble forward, feeling your dinner threaten to come back up as the leaves rustle around your feet.

Well shit.

“Fu-what do you think you’re doing?” Konohamaru says, rushing to your side so fast you can barely tell he wasn’t there the whole time.

“I’m getting some privacy!” you say, it comes out as more of a squeak than you’d like.

“I could have left if you’d just asked-”

“I can’t-ugh,” you say in frustration. Eventually you give up what little care for modesty you once had and bite the bullet. “I can’t take a piss where we camp!”

That turns the tables for a moment, Konohamaru blushes a bit and stutters away only to rush back when your balance starts to waiver. “Here just-just let me help you get there...then you can-do whatever you need to do,” he says, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, sure…” you say, because really you don’t have any options at the moment. Fuck your fucking leg, anyway.

He leaves you in a cluster of trees and you sigh in relief when your persistent bladder finally empties. As much as you hate to admit it, you do actually feel less grumpy once that’s dealt with. It’s not easy managing with your leg the way it is but you come out of it as clean as can be expected and only wistfully dreaming of hot springs.

When you’ve finally made it far enough away from the drop zone to call him back over he’s quickly at your side and helping you back to the camp as if it was his solemn duty.

You both love and hate it.

~~~~~!!~~~~~

You growl at him because you don’t like feeling weak but he just pats your head, laughs, and gently lays you back down on your bedroll that seems much fuller than usual.

It takes awhile for you to calm yourself back down but eventually you turn to him and say a soft, “Thank you, Konohamaru...I-y’know, I appreciate everything you’ve had to do.”

“It’s the least I could do, really…” he says, like he believes it, like he doesn’t see it as a burden. It’s pretty convincing but you know the truth and you won’t let yourself be swayed.

“I’ll pay you back...somehow,” you reply quietly but either he doesn’t hear you or he pretends not to because he doesn’t respond.

When it gets dark you can see him start to droop a little. He’s still alert, but you can tell he’s exhausted too, he probably hasn’t slept since the fight because it’s all you seemed to have done.

“I can stay up, keep watch...wake you if anything happens,” you say, but he waves you off.

“Look, I get the fact that I’m injured and not in top form but my vision hasn’t been affected and neither has my ability to speak or set barriers. I can keep an eye out on everything while you sleep for a little while,” you say, stubbornly humphing and crossing your arms over your chest.

You almost miss the way his gaze drops down for a second but he quickly brings it back to your eyes so you’re not entirely sure it was what you think it was.

Ugh men, even when they’re sleep deprived and probably half brain dead, they still have the time and ability to check out your rack.

“Alright, he says...but waits until you’ve put up a barrier seal before actually trying to sleep.

It doesn’t take him long to drift off.

Thankfully he doesn’t snore. He almost looks kind of peaceful, soft in his sleep. It’s...cute.

You hate that you think it but you can’t really stop yourself. He probably should have left you on your own and headed back to the leaf to give a report but he won’t, he’s stubborn and too much of the Nanadaime’s philosophy has seeped in over the years, you guess.

He absolutely refuses to leave you behind.

You had brought it up several times the first day in your short stages of lucidity.

He was pretty offended the first few times. He got over that quickly and just moved straight onto exasperation.

The firelight flickers down a bit as time passes, you keep your guard up though, even if you don’t think you’re in any danger of unexpected company.

The road you’d been on in the first place was nothing but dust and withered plants. You’re doubtful anyone has used it in quite some time. The only reason you were there was because of him. Mori Michi, of Takigakure; the place that was once your home too. The black beast tsunami, he’d been called. Even now, knowing he’s sealed away, you shiver at the memory of bloodlust held in his eyes.

You scoot a little closer to the fire but it’s slowly dying and you don’t really have the energy or will to sustain it. Konohamaru isn’t going to freeze to death and neither are you so you watch it die out, slowly.

He wakes up, a few different times. He’s restless, but you notice he doesn’t check to see if you’re still awake or if the wards are still intact, because he trusts you and that’s at least somewhat reassuring.

~~~~~!!~~~~~

When the sun starts to show over the horizon he wakes up again, this time he rolls out of his bedding and says a soft, sleep rough, “Morning.”

It’s almost impossible not to find it adorable.

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” you say with a grin.

He blinks back at you for a minute as he tries to get his bearings. “Nothing bigger than a bunny rabbit got close to the barrier last night so we’re safe. After breakfast I’d like to go to the river and wash up-,” You start but his head snaps over to you as if he’s imagining having to help you with that, but you rush to finish your thoughts. “I should be able to manage that on my own, my leg is much better today.”

As if to prove your point you point toward the now roaring fire that is roasting a skinned rabbit and smile, “That one is yours,” you say, feeling quite happy with yourself when his eyes widen ever so slightly.

“Oh you didn’t have to-thanks,” he says, and it’s cute that he seems impressed by you. You like making him feel as rattled as you are when you’re around him.

“It’s not a problem, you say. “There’s some robin eggs a few paces south if you want to gather them I’ll cook them for you, but tree climbing isn’t really something I can do at the moment.”

“Nah this is fine, this should be more than enough actually,” he says, some of the roughness of sleep finally waning from his voice.

You kinda miss it, but you certainly don’t mention that aloud.

He digs in and before he gets through the first full bite he turns to you and grins, “This is really good!”

“It’s not too bad,” you agree, because you tasted your own rabbit and it was quite nice, especially when you didn’t have to choke down a bucket of Konohamaru’s salty sea brine with it.

He finishes his breakfast with gusto and you feel a little butterfly of warmth skirting around in your belly. It’s problematic at best but you push it away, you’re a kunoichi, a warrior, you don’t get stupid things like butterflies in your belly. Only chakra, memories of a home you’ve never seen, and the will of fire can exist there.

~~~~~!!~~~~~

The water feels cool against your skin as you dip into the lake. It’s refreshing and you let out a happy sigh when you get to a deeper part that will allow for your feet to graze the bottom while you float freely. You loosen the braid in your hair, letting it fall down before following with your head. The cool water around your ears is a bit of a rush as your skin adjusts to the temperature.

Everything is gorgeous, the lake, the warm sun that pops out behind a cloud every now and again. It’s hard to want to leave but you do so, reluctantly.

You swim back to the shore letting your feet touch down when you get closer, wincing when you feel weight on your injured leg again.

“Fuck,” you say, forgetting how that felt for awhile was nice. Now you weigh even more with the additional water and your leg is not enjoying it’s newfound responsibility either. You grit your teeth and move through the pain until you’re on land but before you can make it that far something in the water shifts, moves, and your foot is skidded backwards hard, fast, and into something that is sharp and metal.

You cry out in pain and before you can muffle the sound, Konohamaru comes running toward you.

You are still almost completely naked…

You sputter a bit but he lifts you up like he’s a romantic lead in a movie and you squawk indignantly.

He doesn’t seem to notice, it’s as if his instincts are overriding the most obvious things.

You’re never going to live this down, not in your own head at least.

Once your bleeding foot is treated, he begins to fall out of his ‘serious’ mode and back into normal Konohamaru. Of course, that also means he’s realized you’re half naked and then blushes like a ripe tomato before turning his head...is that blood on the ground beside him? Oh well, it’s probably from your foot. Though you’re not quite sure how it would have made it that far but you don’t question it further, mostly because you’re just struggling to grab clothes from your pack so you can redress.

It takes little thought to pull out the long yellow summer dress that was folded neatly at the bottom. It will allow for more movement than your uniform and it will make things much easier when it comes time to re-wrap your wounds. Not to mention it’s so much faster to put on than your gi.

“I’m um, I have clothes on…” you say, clearing your throat as you turn your head away. You don’t want to see him turn back around, it was embarrassing for you both. Not only did he see you at your most indecent, but it wasn’t even a good angle. You are proud of your muscle and you don’t mind the spare pounds for the most part, but what girl in their right mind wouldn’t be a little self conscious in your situation.

“I uh, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have screamed and worried you,” you say, not really knowing how to get past the moment without addressing it. Even if it's uncomfortable you need to get it out of your system so you can get back to as close to normal as humanly possible.

“Oh no it’s okay...you were hurt. I uh, I’m sorry I uh touched you while you were…” he stops, and it seems like he’s remembering your naked body in his arms and you kind of want to scream at him but you just blush because now you’re thinking about his strong arms wrapped around you while you were naked, or mostly that way.

“It’s fine, it’s no different than a swimsuit really,” you say, and it’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told because while he was just being logical and carrying you back to camp so that he could tend to your wound, your thoughts during that moment were far from professionally distant.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says, chucking a bit as he rubs the back of his neck.

You’ve finally gathered the courage to look over at him and his cheeks are still a little red but he mostly looks unaffected.

For some reason you find yourself disappointed. You thought when his eyes drifted before...well it doesn’t matter what you thought. He’s clearly not feeling anything but camaraderie when it comes to you.

Sigh.

Oh well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time and you doubt it will be the last.

‘Time to move on,’ you say to yourself, you’re a firm believer in not letting things linger. Cut out the parts of you that want him for more than a friend and you’ll be fine.

“Huh?” he asks.

“I said it’s time to move on, we need to get closer to Konoha and once my hair dries a bit, I’ll put it back up and we can be on our way. At my current pace it will still take us a few days to get back but staying here isn’t going to make my injuries heal any faster,” you respond, “And you refuse to leave without me so..”

He sighs, as if he’s told you this a million times. “You’re right, I won’t...we started this mission together and we’re going to return home together.”

“Whatever you say,” you answer, and then slowly start brushing your hair to allow the wind to blow through it more easily. You really need to get back to the leaf village; being out here, with him... it makes forgetting him much more difficult.

PART TWO

[waywardmoeyy]

I’ll Be Fine

Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 1,133

Warnings: insomnia, mention of medical issues (specifically a migraine), anxiety and fear associated with medical issues, fluff.

A/N: I have been going through a lot medically lately, so this is inspired by that.

Wayward Moeyy’s Master List

You pressed your pillow against the side of your head, hoping it would dull the pain just a little. You had downed three pain relievers in the last four hours, but nothing was even touching the rhythmic throbbing in your temple. It was only on one side, just like always. And, lately, the migraines were getting more and more frequent.

But, no matter how hard you tried to living normally, your efforts were in vain. You had to bail on the most recent job, leaving Dean, Sam, and Cas to figure out whatever was going on in Phoenix by themselves. They had been gone for five days, and probably wouldn’t be back for at least another two or three.

So, you were in the bunker alone to battle another nearly week-long headache.

“Fuck,” you groaned as you lifted the pillow. Light from your small bedside table lamp beamed into your gaze. Your stomach rumbled, but you were so nauseated that you didn’t even want to think about food. Plus, with your horrible balance lately, it would be too much of a risk to walk out there anyway. You had eaten dinner the night before, the winner’s meal of instant ramen and some leftover chicken nuggets. That was over eighteen hours ago.

A door in the distance slammed, causing your head to throb even more. Shit, you hoped it was the boys. You did not want to meet your match alone in the bunker, especially feeling the way you did. With your luck, that would be your fate.

“I don’t care if it’s not real cheese, Sam! It’s delicious!” you could hear Dean scream from down the hall. Oh, thank god.

“It’s called ‘processed cheese product’ for a reason, Dean. It’s not actually cheese. I don’t evevn think half of the ingredients are actually food.” You giggled, which caused your head to throb again. Ugh.

“Well, no one’s saying that youneed to eat it, right Cas?” You could perfectly imagine the look on Cas’ face. Your poor boyfriend was always caught in the middle of the Winchester’s bickering.

“I can’t taste it either way, Dean. However, I don’t think it would be sold in grocery stores if it were dangerous to consume.” Ah, typical Cas.

“Um, they sell many things in grocery stores that people shouldn’t be eating,” Sam murmured.

It sounded like they were headed towards your room, which immediately sent you in a panic. You hadn’t showered in nearly three days, mainly because the ancient bunker lighting was too much for your straining eyes to take. The only time you left the bunker was four days ago, to take yourself to the doctor’s office. The room was a mess, and you probably looked like you were possessed, or the walking dead.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed from the other side of the door. Damn,did he need to be so loud? “Y/N, are you in there?” You couldn’t respond. Your vision was starting to blur as your head suddenly felt like it was in a vice.

“Y/N?” you heard Castiel ask softly. “That’s odd. If the door is shut, she is usually inside.” The doorknob jiggled, then the door slowly creaked open. “Y/N, are you in here?”

“Hmm?” you managed to groan from under your blanket. You squeezed your eyes closed as Cas approached, his footsteps echoing in your ears.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cas asked softly. “Did we wake you?” A hand curled around your blanket and gently lifted it from your face. Cas’ blue gaze locked on yours just as you opened your eyes.

“Cas,” you gasped. He tilted his head, then turned to Dean, who planted himself right next to him.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?” He rested down on the side of your bed, inspecting your face thoroughly.

“My head,” you answered in a breath. Your eyes lifted up to Sam, who towered over Dean. Cas just nodded, then turned to the brothers.

“Can you give is some space, please?” he whispered to Dean, who nodded.

“Of course,” Sam replied, giving you a sweet smile before turning for the door.

Once the door was closed, Cas reached over and dimmed your bedside table light. Oh, bless that angel.

“Y/N, how long has this one lasted?” Cas asked. There was a hint of panic in his whisper. He offered to heal you several times. But, since the fall, he wasn’t quite at his full power, and you didn’t want him wasting it on you. So, instead, he helped you find comfort in any way he could.

“Since the day before you left.” You knew he was going to be mad that you didn’t mention it, using another excuse to stay behind.

Cas furrowed his brow and took your hand in his. “Y/N, that’s almost a week. You need to see a—”

“I went to a doctor a few days ago. He—he ordered an MRI.” You sucked in a breath as the pain nearly cut you off. “I went straight to the imaging center, and they did it on the spot.” Cas nodded to himself.

“Do they have results?” he asked, lowering his voice even more.

“N-No. He said it will take a few days.” You sighed as the pain eased just lightly. “I’m just glad that I might finally get some answers.” Cas nodded, listening intently as he watched you. “Four years of this is far too long.”

“When was the last time you slept?” Cas inquired. You pursed your lips as closed your eyes again.

“I think I slept for an hour or so last night. And, the night before, I got a few hours in.” You held back tears, opening your right eye. “It just hurts so much, Cas.” He nodded and rested his head on your cheek. The moment his rough fingers touched your skin, the pain eased significantly.

“You need to rest,” Cas whispered. He leaned over and rested himself beside you. His head joined yours on your pillow.

“D-Did you just use your powers on me?” You didn’t want to get angry. It would only risk your head hurting again.

“I just eased the pain. It didn’t take much effort, I promise.” Cas wrapped his arm around you. “Now get some sleep.”

“If you weren’t an angel, I’d think you were lying to me.” You leaned up and kissed him softly, then snuggled into his warmth.

“That’s it, Y/N,” he whispered into your ear as he rubbed your back. “You’re going to be fine. Whatever is going on, you’re going to be fine.” He pulled you closer. “I’ll be right here.”

You closed your eyes and sighed, trying to relax your mind. “I know.” You repeated his words in your head as you let your exhaustion consume you. “I’ll be fine.”

Feedback is always appreciated and motivates my writing. If you would like to be added to a tag list, please send me an ask or message. Thanks!

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[dvp95]

step into the light

pairing: dan howell/phil lester rating: teen & up tags: uni au, sort of? they're both in uni but this is not about uni, it's about two idiots meeting in the middle of the night at a corner shop where one of them works, and also heelies are involved, fluff, humour, meet-cute word count: 1.4k summary: Dan works the night shift at a corner store and Phil needs a sugar fix.

this was written for @cactilads in october, but i kept it on my back burner in case i wanted to come back to it and make it a whole Story. i've decided that i like it the way it is and i don’t want it on my shoulders like a gargoyle anymore. vivi drew GORGEOUS art for it already, which you can see and reblog here!

read on ao3 or here!

Dan doesn't mind the night shift. It's eons better than when he started his Asda shifts at five in the fucking morning - that was basically actual torture. Sure, it kind of sucks to go to classes at regular times throughout the week when his sleep schedule is swapped for work, but he'd be lying if he said he'd be asleep on Friday and Saturday nights anyway.

It's just boring, most of the time. The owner, a no-nonsense Indian woman a little older than Dan's parents, doesn't give a shit if Dan plays on his DS all night, as long as he doesn't nod off or let anyone break anything. He's been expressly forbidden from dealing with shoplifters in any way but to call the police, which works just fine for Dan. He wouldn't know what to do, anyway, always feels a little tongue-tied and awkward when he sees people shove candy bars and sodas into their jackets. He never calls the police, because, well, it's a fucking Mars bar.

There are a few moments of interest, usually in the form of drunk students livening up the place or exhausted parents stood in front of the baby food for so long that Dan worries they've fallen asleep, but for the most part his weekend shifts go by in quiet Pokémon battles and half-assed studying.

Tonight, though, Dan gets his favourite distraction. He's folded up on his chair in a way that increases his chances of tumbling off it and struggling not to fall asleep on his property law textbook.

Dan glances up as the door of his shoddy little corner shop dings. It's nearing three, which means he's either dealing with someone drunk, high, or very tired.

The guy who comes in is none of the three - at least, not obviously so. He gives Dan a jaunty, familiar sort of wave before he makes a beeline towards the slushie machine. Dan is sufficiently distracted, because this guy is the most bewildering part of his nights.

He doesn't come in every night that Dan's working, but it's often enough that Dan has developed a kind of fixation. Why does he always need an extra large slushie between the hours of two and four in the goddamn morning? Why does he mix all the flavours together and act like it's good (Dan has tried it, many times, and it's awful)? Nothing about him makes any sense at all.

Dan likes a good mystery, especially when it distracts him from property law, so he sits up a little straighter and lets his eyes follow the guy around the store.

And - okay. Okay. Maybe the guy is cute, in addition to being bemusing. He's always got glasses on and his dark hair shoved haphazardly off his forehead, a smile that reaches his sparkling eyes, long legs that always end up catching Dan's gaze.

He's looking at them now, actually, half wishing Hot Slushie Guy could be wearing his usual grey sweats, because the Star Wars pyjamas just aren't doing his thighs justice, when Dan notices the shoes at the end of the nice legs.

At first he just thinks, huh. Weird of a guy who looks uni age to be wearing light-up sneakers, but whatever. He's seen much, much weirder in this corner shop alone. Hell, he's seen weirder from this guy alone, since there was that one night that he'd come in wearing animal slippers of some kind or the other time he'd come with a beret on his head at 4:15 in the morning or the time - the point is, the sneakers themselves don't really give Dan any kind of pause.

Not until the guy goes to get a straw, and instead of walking like a regular person, he shifts onto his heels and glides over.

Dan is dumbfounded. Heelies still exist? What the fuck? He has not thought about them in literal years, not since people collectively decided they were mildly dangerous and very uncool.

This guy doesn't seem to have gotten the memo. He glides back over to his slushie and Dan has a moment of total certainty that he's about to eat shit before he does so, smashing into a rack of magazines with a small yelp and knocking it all to the floor. He manages to stay upright, but just barely.

Dan sighs. At least he didn't spill his stupid drink everywhere.

"Alright, mate?" Dan calls over, coming out from behind the counter. He knows that this doesn't count as letting someone break things, but he still wants to clean it up before Ms. Gujar magically appears behind his shoulder and scolds him.

"Uh," the guy says, his eyes wide and apologetic. He crouches down to start picking up the mess of magazines and Dan, not wanting to look like he's slacking off, joins him. "Yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay," says Dan. He shrugs a bit, stacking the mags into neat piles. "I've had people do stupider shit."

The guy's voice is much brighter when he asks, "Really?"

He's just grabbing magazines at random. Dan has to reach out and take them from him before he puts the Good Housekeeping beside the Cosmo.

"Really," Dan assures him. "I have a spray bottle for breaking up chav fights."

The joke makes the guy grin at him, wide and sparkling and so contagious that Dan has to duck his head to hide his own.

"Well, it doesn't look like much of value was lost," the guy says, holding up a magazine by the corner with his finger and thumb like he doesn't want to touch it. Dan can't stop the embarrassing bark of a laugh that comes out of his mouth when he gets a good look at the cover.

"Bikinis don't really do it for you, huh?" he asks, taking the magazine and shoving it at the back where it belongs. He stands and, after a beat, thinks to offer his hand to help the guy up as well.

His hand is a little smaller than Dan's and soft, like he actually moisturizes. He squeezes Dan's hand before he stands up and again before he lets go. Dan wonders, a little ridiculously, if he's trying to communicate in Morse code or something.

"No, Dan, they don't," the guy laughs, reaching for his slushie like he hadn't almost broken his neck for it.

"How," Dan starts, and then looks down at himself as he remembers that he's got a name tag on. "Oh. Well, that's not very fair. I don't know your name."

The guy takes a long drink of his slushie and then winces. "Ugh, brain freeze. I know your name, but you know that girls in bikinis are boring to me," he laughs, "so I think we're even on the personal information front."

That's not fair. Dan wants to know, wants to stop calling him Hot Slushie Guy in his own mind, wants to find out what he's always doing here to get early morning sugar rushes. Dan feels his mouth twist into a sulk before he can think too much about how uncool that makes him look.

"Well," says Dan, putting his hands on his hips in a way he hopes looks casual and not awkward. "I'm not big on girls in bikinis, either."

He swears he sees those blue-green eyes sparkle. "No?"

"So now we're uneven," Dan says. "And you should tell me your name. Also, why you get a disgusting drink almost every weekend at a time most humans are asleep. Also, also, why you have heelies."

"Wow, that's a lot of questions," the guy says, but he doesn't seem bothered by it. He's still grinning. "You're gonna owe me some stuff, too, y'know. To even it back out. So why don't I pay for this, and I'll keep you company for a bit."

Alright. Dan can work with that.

"As long as you don't use those anymore," he says with a gesture down at the light-up sneakers. "I don't want you destroying the place."

"That's fair. I'm Phil, and I do tend to destroy places when left to my own devices." Now Dan just has to focus on actually calling him that and not just accidentally saying Hot Slushie Guy out loud.

"Nice to meet you, Phil," he says. "You should teach me how to make all the flavours taste good together."

Phil grins around his straw. "It's a science."

"We've got all night," says Dan, a little more hope in his voice than he really wants there to be. Phil grins even wider and grabs for an empty slushie cup.