#and got even more angry. her anger; from assuming EVERYONE hated her even her own parents; got a point where she couldnt pay attention

[malkaviian]

infodump in the tags about charlotte since she has been appearing more frequently in my thoughts

[theholypeanut]

Satsuki Momoi x Enemies to Lovers

Peanut’s Wheel of Fortune Event

Cw: fem!reader, wlw, fluff, harassment (not by Momoi or reader),I’m sorry to all the rats, rats are better than that (you will know), 1.1k words

Plot: Momoi cannot stand you, the Seirin manager, but what she cannot stand more is seeing guys flirting with you or making you uncomfortable

Event Masterlist

Satsuki Momoi rarely hated anyone in her life. I mean why would she? She had nothing to be jealous of really, she was beautiful, smart, kind, and was a part of Generation of Miracles in her own way. So why did she hate you so much, Seirin’s manager?

At first, she thought it was because you are in Seirin, with Tetsu, and she is stuck with the laziest, the most perverted best friend she got (by her own choice, but still). Why do you go to school with the love of her life? Satsuki was spiteful towards you since she first saw you - not teasingly mean like to Riko, she just always behaved like she straight-up hated you. And you had no idea why, but if she can treat you this way, why you should be the bigger person? After months passed by, no one knew the reason, but for the greater good just preferred not to put you together in the same room.

Momoi couldn’t explain why she didn’t want to see you and couldn’t stand to be away from you at the same time. Every time she saw you just laughing with anyone from Seirin’s team made her so angry she couldn’t breathe, especially with Kagami. Everyone in Generation of Miracles just assumes the disgust she had towards „New Light” was purely because Kuroko found his new best friend and left everyone behind, including Aomine. But only Kise noticed that the moment Mom would get the most furious was when Kuroko wasn’t even in the room (or was… who knows?).  But the moment that threw her over the edge was during the Inter-High, when some disgusting guy tried to flirt with you, making you uncomfortable. „Hey Princess, I was thinking maybe after this all will be over, we could get out of here…” he said with the most despicable expression. 

„I’m not interested” you mumbled trying to walk away, or at least find any of the familiar uniforms in the crowd. „Don’t be like that, I think we can have a lot of fun” he grabbed your wrist.

„And who the hell do you think you are, to even dream of having any chances with her?” You heard a familiar high voice. You never saw Memo’s face so full of pure anger, and you were sure you saw it all. Guy took one look at the pink-haired girl and just by the way he swallowed his saliva with excitement you felt the shiver of pure disgust on your spine. Guys usually objectified Momoi as she was some dessert without caring if they were obvious or not. This one was one of the worst cases. 

„Oh hey, actually…” he couldn’t stop staring at her cleavage, and before Momoi had a chance to add anything else, without thinking, you snatched your hand and smacked him in the face. 

„You are seriously delusional to think you’d have a chance with her either, you rat” 

You saw the guy snapping out of his trance and he even swung his hand to hit you back when he looked at something behind you and stopped. He sent you an angry glare and mumbled „ugly bitch” before walking away. You and Satsuki both just stood there in shock, not sure what just happened. You looked behind you but you didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, except just a crowd of players, but no one was standing out or even looking at you. You turned to Momoi, and you noticed she had a tiny blush on her cheeks.

„Thank you” you broke the silence. „I was a little frozen when he was just…” but before you finished, Too’s manager just gently grabbed your hand. 

„Is your wrist okay? Did he hurt you? I swear I know which school he is from I’m gonna tell Aomine to…” you never saw Momoi getting so worried over you. She looked… adorable. You smiled at her warmly. „It’s fine. If he plays against either of our schools he will be destroyed anyway”

She sent you a weak smile, and as you noticed, she still didn’t let go of your hand. 

„I’m sorry for… being so mean to you” she said not looking at you. Her face was still flushed. „I don’t have any good excuse I just…” 

„We should spend more time together.” You stopped her. You felt your face getting hot. „Just two of us. Or” you clear your throat awkwardly. „Or with Riko! Obviously!”

She looked at you stunned, her face getting more red, but her eyes sparkling. „Just the two of us!” She repeated excitedly. She grabbed your hand tighter. „Y-yes!” You smiled and heard the familiar voice of the coach yelling your name. Reluctantly you took the hand away and rubbed the back of your neck embarrassed. 

„So… see you around, Momoi” and you walked away in the direction of the rest of the team. 

As you turned away you couldn’t see that Satsuki was still standing there, looking at your back all blushed, and she just couldn’t stop thinking about your soft hand and how much she would want to hold it again. 

*bonus: The Rat Guy saw the most scary face Kise is able to make. He decided to retrieve after that, and Kise was spying on his favourite gays from behind the pillar like a proud dad

Bonus:

[derangederensimp]

Jujutsu Kaisen One Shot Kinktober

#12 Hate (Angry) Fucking / Exhibitism x Fem Reader

CW: Plot, Mean Dom Naoya, Hickeys, Biting, Pet Names, degradation, humiliation exhibitionism, Creampie. Naoya is his own warning. Yes yes the relationship isn’t healthy. This will probably be adapted into a mini series 🧍‍♀️.

Art at the end belongs to @nanichi0 🖤 show some love to their twitter.

-

“Oh wife, do you really hate me that much? How pathetic you are to crumble at my feet every night beg for more. What is it woman? Do you hate me or do you just like it when I toss you around?”

Naoya said, holding your cheeks in his hand, squeezing your face gently. The tears welling up in your eyes made him chuckle. “I-I do hate you. I wish I never married you” you spat at him. Your words seemingly did not affect him but inside a flame was burning in him. One that desired your love and devotion dearly. “Ah as if you had a choice really with all your family debt, I picked you and you became mine and you will be mine till the day you die”

What even got you into this mess was your shitty attitude, if you would’ve been the picture perfect wife Naobito told you to act like, Naoya wouldn’t have had to pull you aside into a different room. Naobito was worse than Naoya and believe it or not he loved you no matter how sexist and misogynistic he acted.

To him you were like fresh air, someone he could act himself around but he often found himself cowering away like a child afraid of your reaction, afraid he father would hear him and take his title away for not being what a “man should be”

You heard of the Zen’in clan and wished you’d never cross them but your family left you in such a predicament that you had gone to estate where a line of women stood. Naoya came out with Naobito and looked over each and everyone of you, his eye immediately catching you. He tried to act interested in the women Naobito complimented and discussed but he stared at you the entire time, your eyes never left his glare not backing down to his dominance.

From then on he knew you would be the one. “Father enough of this, I want her” He said standing in front of you. Your eyes grew wide and your heart sank, you should’ve been excited right? You thought to yourself, “debt would be paid off” you said but the thoughts lingering in your mind the rumors of how horrible Zen’in men treated their wives you wondered if being alone and having no place to go was more worth it than this.

But something was different, Naoya once alone would hold your hand intently. A soft smile on his face but as soon as the door creaked to open he let go, his face falling back into a straight face. You noticed this happened quite often as later that night instead of consummating your marriage he just held you in his arms asking questions about you to try and get to know the women he was spending the rest of his life with.

The next few months went well as well as you assumed it would go. He was always so gentle but at times when you’d beg him to be rough he would be. He wasn’t concerned about getting you pregnant as he wanted to spend time with you just as his wife. But one day this stopped, he became cold, distant, and told you that his father wasn’t happy with how things have been going and he’d find him a more obedient wife.

“Is that what you want” you asked. “As if I have a say in what I want. Just do what you're supposed to wife” Naoya seethed. Weeks passing you got annoyed with his on and off affection so you became distant but despite that you always found your way back into his grip.

“Hey, i'm talking to you” Naoya said again, letting go of your cheeks slightly to pull you back to reality. “I hate you” you said again looking at him.

The flame in his stomach exploded, he stepped closer to you. His hands resting on the side of your face he pulled you into a kiss. Your anger only slightly dying on his tongue. Your arms were the first to wraps around his neck continuing the kiss. A smirk growing on Naoya’s face knowing he had you right where he wanted. Pulling his head away a string of saliva still remained before he wiped it away. “Thought you hated me hmm? Then why is it that you are pulling me in for me?”

Naoya said, lifting you up and placing you on the desk. Being in his arms like that again made the heat between your legs swell. A gasp leaving your lips when he reached under your dress and yanked off your damped panties. “I’m taking these” he cooed into your ear shoving them into his pocket. “Now will you be a good girl and behave for me?” Naoya asked, placing his thumb in your chin and making you look at him.

“No” you taunted him, a smirk growing across your lips. Pulling you back into a kiss you kept mumbling how much you hated him which only made him keep kissing you, hoping his tongue would silence you. Taking his mouth off yours he slipped his fingers between your cunt “Hate me so much yet your cunt is so wet for me y/n? Seems a bit conflicting no? Want me to stop?”

“N-no” you said, your face growing red. Turning away from his gaze. Pulling your face back to look at him “So you can be obedient when you wanna” Naoya cooed into your ear, putting his thumb against your clit and circling it. His other hand freed your breasts from untying the front of your dress. Taking one into his hand playing with your nipple pinching at it to gain a whine from you.

Obedient the word pissing you off more and more each time he said it but not wanting the pleasure to end you just ignored it the best you could, you count be mad at him later. “And you can stop being a prick when you want to” you said. “Me a prick? Would a prick make you cum whenever you wanted?”

Removing his fingers, your body was angry from the sudden pause as you glared at him.

“Awe look how angry you look” he said. Just as you were about to speak up he lifted you into his arms, your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist “not ganna drop you” he cooed into your ear before biting at your neck and leaving hickeys behind, he liked the way you’d moan out softly each time he’d cause you a bit of pain.

“I bet you I’ll make you scream out my name. Everyone out there will know how well we get along huh y/n”

You felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, twitching against your lips. He lowered you slowly at first before slamming you against his body. A loud groan coming from him as you bit your lip to try and hold in your sounds. Naoya looked at you with hooded eyes, continuously fucking himself into you from below.

Your cunt telling him how good he felt by how you squeezed him so tightly. “S-shit. So tight. I could stay like this all night” He said between breaths.

He was eager to get you to scream his name, holding your back with one arm leaning you back and his thumb found your clit again rubbing circles. A dragged out moan came from your throat, his cock splitting you in two going deeper and deeper from the changed angle.

“A-ah Fuck-k I hate you N-naoya” you said, screaming out his name as your nails dug into his back.

He hissed from the pain but it burned into pleasure as your cunt clenched around his cock so beautifully. He huffed out air, keeping his pace he hit your g-spot making your walls spasm around him. “There you go y/n. Cum on my dick”. Your body responding to his command. Your thighs twitched as you bit down on his collarbone leaving a mark behind when you let go.

Naoya taking it to be a sign to be tougher with you and finish. Walking over to the desk he laid you down onto it, grabbing your legs and forcing them to hit your chest. You wheezed out air your eyes wide as you stared at him. “N-Naoya” you moaned when your cunt felt empty before he shoved himself back in with one quick hard thrust. Fucking himself into you faster and faster your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you reached closer to your second orgasm. Throwing his head back his nails dug into your thighs “Feels so good. you did this on purpose. You just wanted me to fuck you didn’t you?” He said in between breaths.

“You could never really hate me” he grunted. His hand reaching up to grab your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. “I-I do” you moaned. His hips rutting against yours a few more times before he quickly spoke “gotta cum. Inside. Ok?”

The wind was being knocked out of you but you were able to groan out “yes”. Your orgasm taking over your cunt squeezed his cock one finale time making hot ropes of cum full you up. He rested his head on your forehead as he caught his breath.

Pulling out he cleaned himself up with your panties, wiping the cum leaking out of your cunt before shoving them back into his pocket. “Now come on, we have to get back to the banquet. You better behave” Naoya said, winking at you. Once you got your dress fixed he took your hand into his and headed for the door. Pushing it open, a crowd of people dispersing in opposite directions.

Naoya chuckled to himself as you looked to the ground with embarrassment.

Can we talk about how amazing @nanichi0 draws Naoya?!? He looks so fucking good 😩

-

Don’t forget to leave a note! Or a comment 🖤

Kinktober Masterlist

Taglist: @yellooaaa , @immindingmyown , @dovas-world , @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn , @ilovestevelacy2228 , @nothisispatrick300 , @chrrybl0ss0m

[doll-elvis]

I don’t get the ginger hate. She was only 20 or so when she was with Elvis and they weren’t even together that long. It’s not her fault he died! Her book about him is pretty nice.

I have gotten tons of asks this past week or so, and im currently trying to answer all of them so I apologize if I crowd your dashboard with these 😭

thank you so much for the ask and I honestly think her book might be in my top five because it proves so much of what people have assumed about Elvis wrong. Particularly about the last year of his life because prior to reading her book I had thought Elvis was completely desolate and couldn’t find any joy in living and after reading her book I was heartbroken because I realized he had so much he still wanted to do, so much to live for, he wanted to grow old and be there for Lisa Marie more than anything, he just didn’t get the chance.

and I have talked about this before, but I really like Ginger as a person (give her a chance and watch one interview, I promise you will like her😩) and I truly feel bad for her as she has been the target of so much unnecessary hate for decades by both fans and others that knew Elvis, and what is sad is that I believe most of the hate from those knew Elvis came from jealousy…

Like Ginger Alden said in an interview that the reason there was so much friction in the group was because of all the inner jealousy

People were quick to anger when Elvis gave attention or spent money on someone that wasn’t them. I mean Elvis literally punched Charlie Hodge in the face and made him bleed after he got angry he didn’t get a new car when Elvis had bought Kathy Westmoreland one 😭

Elvis spent a good chunk of the last year of his life around Ginger and her family, even sleeping over in her bedroom on some nights, and of course he spoiled them with gifts like he did for everyone, and the group did not like that

But to be completely honest I was once a very avid “ginger hater” myself, and if you are currently someone who doesn’t like her I’m sure you have your reasons and I don’t judge you for any opinion you may hold

however if one of the reasons you hate her is because you believe she called the enquirer the day that Elvis passed away I strongly strongly encourage you take a look at this article and read it with an open mind because it debunks that rumor

now I’m not saying that she was elvis’ soulmate or that they were the perfect match. They were incompatable on many levels (I think Ginger especially had trouble showing physical intimacy and Elvis was someone who need tons and tons of it) and like many have said I believe Elvis became fixated on her because of what she represented and reminded him of. He expressed on many occasions that he knew he was getting old and he was worried he wouldn’t ever find “the one” so when Ginger came into his life I think he clung to her because he believed he wouldn’t find anyone closer to what he wanted

Like you said Ginger met Elvis when she had just turned 20 years old and I find it crazy that people expected her to be able to adapt and learn his ways when no one ever prepared her for that lifestyle

people can just be really unsympathetic to the women in his life- I know we all love Elvis but could you imagine having to get on a plane with a bunch of people you don’t know, leave your family behind, and be thrown into the very crazy and fast world of Elvis while also having to know how to take care of him when you never have had to take care of someone before?

also I have seen some mention that she deserves hate because her mother sued the estate and while I don’t defend that, I also don’t see anyone mention that Linda Thompson was considering suing because the estate was going to take back the house owned by her parents that Elvis paid for 🤧 I think it’s unfair to hold Ginger to standards if you aren’t going to hold everyone else to them also

[beeejayy]

KAMI ALBARN MY BELOATHED. SHE'S BASICALLY AN OC FOR ME

🏳️‍🌈 a sexuality hc- bisexual, but more female leaning. If you asked her though she'd be disgusted and offended that you had to ask and not assume that she's straight.

🏳️‍⚧️ a gender hc- trans. She's TRANS AND TRANSPHOBIC!!!! she will DENY being trans, she got her operation on one of her travels she has scrubbed away anything of her previous identity and anything but she's also super judgy to anyone who did/does the same. When she and Spirit would fight she'd call him a girl and stuff. Not funn.

😇 a religion/ lack thereof- she doesn't care about that. In her worst moments she'd probably pray but that's about it.

🧸 a hc about their childhood- Kami had a baby sibling before she went to the academy. Her parents would only pay attention to the kid, Kami gets jealous easily.

👻 a hc about what scares them- her past. She really does want to stay missing and under everyone's radar.

🎶 a hc about music- she likes rap, or anything that's popular

👽 a hc about a weird quirk of theirs- she'll tap her nail quickly when she's thinking.

💤 a hc about their sleep- Kami likes to be against the wall in her sleep

🦾 a disability hc-uhh no I have none sorry

💝 a hc about their love language-sex, that's not a love language I know but Kami is bad with her words and she can't handle hold holding for long, she really can show her interest and love for people by sex

🫂 a friendship hc- L no friends

💔 an angsty hc- Kami didn't care about Maka, she envies her actually. The whole reason she wanted custody was to "win" the battle with spirit. That's it. Kami also has cut contact from everyone but spirit, she doesn't talk to him unless his calls while drunk or calls about maka and she usually hangs up immediately or ignores the call.

🪢a hc about their family- Kami's family are half supportive half not. They actually are the reason she liked traveling so much, they'd always vacation and go around the world. One day they stopped at Nevada and she felt so curious about the place that she didn't want to leave at the time, her parents left her there but let her stay in contact and such so she could still travel and pay for things.

📓 a hc about their hobbies- I guess her hobby wouuuld be traveling?? She likes to see the world, she has a genuine interest in it all.

👗 a hc about their clothes-she likes to dress nice!! She cares about her appearance A LOT, it's very important how people view her.

🔪 a hc related to fighting/violence- she can throw a punch!!! She can only put her all in one go though, anything after won't do much.

🌟 a hc about their desires/wishes- she wishes she never had maka and never married spirit. She also wishes she could be with a certain blonde ex weapon partner of hers.

🏅 a hc about what they're best at- lord death, in the anime at least always talks about how incredible she was, she CREATED a weapon technique. Honestly even if she is a shitty person she's a really good meister.

🍫 a hc about food- she hates tomatoes. This is based on a REALLY good fanfic I read once.

🎭 a hc about what they lie about- she lies about her identity and feelings.

❤️‍🔥 a romantic hc-she plays big game she wants to be DOMINANT she wants CONTROL in every relationship she has she tries to get it.

💄 an appearance hc- when she was younger, maka's age she looked EXACTLY like Maka. Now though, she does look like her own person just with Maka's big features.

🖕 a hc relating to anger- Kami can get angry fast at the littlest of things, she'll yell and shout. When she is angry but looks calm it's genuinely scary.

🐱 an animal related hc- she hates cats.

😭 a hc about the worst thing that happened to them- when she found out they were gonna have a baby it was the most she ever cried. She genuinely didn't want to be held down, her relationship with spirit was already strained then so a whole person that she may have had taken care of or to have looked up to her scared her.

😶 a random hc- Marie is THE most attractive person she's met

[allisoooon]

It sort of angers me that people assume anyone who hates on Allison in season 3 is racist or mysoginist because they don't judge other characters with the same standards, people usually are very impartial with how they judge fictional characters but it's usually because of other reason two characters might do equally bad stuff but people will defend the one who is more likeable and relatable to them regardless of racial or gender related prejudices. Now there is a possibility that some of the people who hate on her are like that but until they make a clearly racist or mysoginistic comment there is no proof, and accusing people of something like that without proof is wrong imo.

Another thing, something i really didn't like about how she was written in season 3 was how little of regret or empathy she showed, i know she was caught in her anger but it looked like she only loved Ray and Claire and not her sibilings, not even once she regretted hurting them and Luther for example was never responsible for her pain unlike Viktor, she should have felt sorry for taking advantage of him, it felt out of character. I love Allison's character and a negative arc was what i wanted from her but i'm still not sure if i liked how it was done or not

One of the basic skills people are supposed to be taught in school is metacognition. Thinking about how you think. What part of my thoughts about this come from the author? What internal biases am I bringing into this? What am I extrapolating from the text explicitly and what am I extrapolating from my own life experience?

100% of people on this planet, without exception, have implicit biases. People who are harsher on Allison because of her race aren't usually aware that that's one of the reasons they have a double standard with her. They're not white supremacists. Most of them aren't even bad people. Implicit bias isn't something you don't have if you're a good enough person--being a good person means checking yourself to see if your perception is being changed by your biases.

So on the one hand, yes, it's a far more widespread problem than I think you're giving it credit for. On the other, people absolutely overreact, both to witnessing bias and to being called out for it. If you're subconsciously judging a black character more than a white character and someone catches you on the internet, you're likely to be called a Nazi even if you don't know you're doing it. That will make anyone scared of the accusation. But then when you're called out for it, you're afraid that this would make you a terrible person if it were true, so you push back and deny it. This shuts down the vital conversation white people in particular need to be having with each other about implicit bias. Or, to put it more succinctly, everyone's a little bit racist sometimes.

Now, here's the thing about expecting Allison to show regret and empathy immediately after getting angry: it's not realistic to expect of someone IRL, either. They will take more than two days to get around to that. And that's how little time it has been for Allison.

Moreover, regret and empathy have been her reactions to things so prominently so far that it has become downright unhealthy for her. Regret and empathy were her reactions to having her throat slit by Viktor. She woke up from nightmares often enough for Ray to know exactly how to talk her down from her panic attack over losing her voice (and trust me, nocturnal panic attacks are a fucking trip). She suffered so many psychological consequences from what Viktor did to her, all while insisting Viktor should suffer none. It's about damn time she got angry on her own behalf. Not that she should stay there forever, obviously.

See, people who have been traumatized go through the stages of grief. Allison was in denial for the first two seasons. Now, she's in the anger phase. This is actually a healthy development for her because she is finally moving forward. Expecting her to shake off her anger and have regret and empathy again is, at this point, asking for her to backslide. She does not have the psychological resources to lift up both herself and her siblings right now. She needs to focus on her own recovery. The faster she does that, the faster she can move forward and get to a place where she can have healthy relationships with her siblings again.

Being in the anger phase can look like deterioration from the outside, but really, it's just admitting that something should not have happened to you and letting yourself react to it emotionally. We didn’t see these stages in Five or Klaus because they were already progressed beyond that by the time canon picked up.  No, it's not fun to be helping a loved one through it. No, she should not have done some of the things she did. But also, PTSD is basically a brain injury. She's not going to act normal. This is not her true self. This is just the reality of how messy and unpretty the consequences of trauma really are.

[gnattyplayssims]

1946 Pt1 - Sofia's Escape

"Everyone out of the way, crazy man with a chair coming through!!"

Stefan laughed as his dad wheeled him through the estate as fast as his arms could carry them. They rolled past Lizbeth who yelled out when they almost knocked the early morning drink from her hand.

"Alright bud, it's almost time for school let's go get breakfast."

"Ugh! Can I ride your back into the kitchen?"

"Okay hop on. Easy now."

"Dad how'd you get this scar?"

"I'll tell you that story when you're older."

"Awe man, why?"

"Cause right now you need to get to school."

The kids headed to school and Hezekiah settled into his spot in the living room. "Now what?"

"Why do you just assume there's something wrong?"

"If there's nothing wrong, then we have no reason to talk."

"You seriously can't even look at me?"

"Looking is too painful, Anabelle."

"I noticed Sofia feeling a bit left out when you were giving Stefan rides this morning"

He felt anger fill him as he looked up at her. "Are you seriously accusing me of not having a relationship with the daughter YOU kept from me?"

"Forget it. I just thought you'd care to know"

No matter how angry he was at Anabelle, Hezekiah hated the thought of either of his children feeling like he didn't love them. "I noticed you enjoy books. Would you like me to read you a story?"

"Sure." Sofia had never had a book read to her. It felt awkward to just listen.

Hezekiah read with all the appropriate emotion and Sofia liked the sound of his voice. It made her wonder what it might have been like to grow up like this. If only her existence hadn't ruined everything.

Kye watched her snoring softly and smiled. "Good night, Dandelion."

"Everything okay?"

"Oh um...yes. I was just thinking"

"About what. Wait let me guess, you picked up a new novel." Sofia laughed nervously and he put his arm around her, pulling her closer and planting a barely perceptible kiss on her temple. "I'm teasing. Seriously, what's up?"

They left the community garden and continued down the street. Nikolas pulled away and took her hand. "Come on, you know you can trust me."

"Let's sit for a bit. I'm tired." He led her to a nearby tree and they settled in underneath it. "I ran away, Nik. It's awful there."

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"She wasn't in her bed when I woke up this morning I checked the garden, the swings, even Lizzie's room...she's not here."

"How does an 11 year old just disappear."

"She must have snuck past me. You were the one who put her to bed."

"So what, you're saying I did something last night that made her run away? We read a bedtime story how is that threatening?"

"Right I forgot, everything is my fault now. Cause nothing bad could have possibly happened if you'd been in her life."

"Just find her Anabelle! Please."

He could feel himself shattering as she stood. Sofia was missing! He should be the one scouring the neighborhood to find her. That's what dad's were supposed to do when their daughters were in trouble. But he was only half a man. He couldn't even protect his own daughter.

"Is it really that bad?"

"I mean I guess it could be worse. The house is really big and there's a garden and I have cousins. Three of them."

"So what's the problem."

"My parent's fight all the time and it's always about me. I thought famlies were supposed to love each other."

"Not all families do. I mean you saw what kinds of kids were in Canal Corner, I don't think many of them could vouche for good families."

"Kyler would."

"Don't get me started. If I hear one more comment from him about the 'perfect woman' I'm jumping in the harbor."

"Maybe I'm the problem."

"What?"

"I mean they got along before I showed up and I'm the one they fight about. Maybe if I was really gone..."

Nik lay down in her lap and looked up at her. "You're not the problem, Sof. If they can't see that, then it's their loss."

Nikolas sat up and pulled her into a hug. "You know I'll always have your back whatever you decide."

"Will you help me get a train ticket?"

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know. I took some money from my mom's drawer. Wherever's cheapest."

He took her hand, "Cheapest it is."

They walked to the station hand-in-hand and he told her about the family that had taken him in after the fire. "They're nothing like yours. The dad gets drunk all the time, like your aunt Lizbeth but he gets violent. I usually have to go hide under the bed till he cools down."

They came to the station and Nik pulled her into a hug. "I'm gonna miss you Sof. I hope we find each other again someday." She pulled back but he pulled her back toward him, pressing his lips against hers. "Something to remember me by."

"Silly. I wouldn't forget."

"Sofia!" Anabelle was racing towards them.

"Mom?"

"Thank the Watcher I found you! What are you doing out here all alone."

"I'm not alone...er Nikolas was here. I think you scared him. I was getting on the train."

"The train? Why?"

"I want you and dad to be happy again."

"Sweetheart, leaving wouldn't change anything. I know it's hard to understand but we would have broken up even if I hadn't brought you home."

"I just wanted to have a real family but ours is all broken"

"I know sweetheart. But broken families can still be fixed. Ours can be too"

Kye hadn't bothered dressing. He leaned on the bed, watching the clock on the dresser ticking off the seconds. His body had become a prison. A cage his daughter would never know him without. Experiences they could never get back. Anabelle had stolen all that. He'd never forget.

1946 Pt2 - Finding Forgiveness

[kyrodo]

I saw enemies where there were none. The way Kay responded to me when I made a post during the protests that infuriated her. Pointing out the video where an old white man was knocked over by a line of marching riot police was from what I saw, to be expected. Ideally yes, they should've moved him out of the way instead of shoving him to the ground as a show of force.

And some other points people brought up is "does it matter that the person knocked over was white or not?" or "it's the same protest." right. I noticed that it was gaining more traction than the videos of police brutality where they were firing into crowds at black people and I felt those videos should've been taking more interest because they show exactly what this protest is about. But the white guy that got knocked over walking straight into a line of marching police by himself was getting more views, likely because the view counts were from non-minorities and it affected them which in turn made them more concerned than everything else. Defunding the police and supporting black lives matter are similar causes, but one appeals to a wider audience. And that was what I thought.

So Kay's angry reaction was unexpected to say the least. And her responses were one sided and she clearly wasn't in the mood to listen to anything I had to say. And this struck a nerve. A nerve that I couldn't turn off. So during our move to utah, I expressed this anger constantly with images and reposts, at first just to be edgy I suppose, but it grew into a constant feeling that I couldn't turn off. And I felt like I was being mislabeled. Like I was taking the fall for a crime I didn't commit. All because Kay wouldn't listen to me. She was content in her own first impression judgments of what I said that she would not listen. And that deeply affected me. I saw enemies in my timeline.

Every little thing I read that was meant to be general I took personally, and during the protests angry posts were a dime a dozen. The entire internet was on fire and I was not in a mental or emotional state to handle it. Every little thing that either could be taken personally or was meant for someone else I would get offended by. There were so many posts that directed hate at someone, and sometime I'd get mad at them even when they weren't even remotely pointed at me. The fact that someone wouldn't know whether I was their enemy or not is why. The fact that people knew nothing about me but my username is why. So I felt judged constantly. I felt like everybody was on a witch hunt for something. And I had a few things (the "content' I'm into) that some people would be concerned about and had 0 tolerance no matter how far it goes.

So I expressed constant aggressiveness towards my followers in response. My counterplay was premature aggressiveness. So no matter what people learn about me I would already be ahead of the game. And I tried so hard to be upfront about all the worst parts about me even before we started to interact. So anyone who would turn hostile because of it would get it over with and fuck off. I was on the warpath against my own timeline and it all started because of Kay, what would've been in most circumstances a simple argument I should've just been able to get over and move on.

And so comes you. Who eventually turned into the main focus of my rants. The sea of hostile posts on my timeline was vicious enough I started blocking people one by one that I couldn't mentally handle anymore. And I stopped at you mainly because you were a mutual who would be on late at night like I was a lot. And recognized as a fellow furry who was mutuals during back when me and Red played overwatch. I of course didn't think you were a console player. I didn't normally run into the issue of someone having console over pc for a game since Kitsunary was the person I normally played with. I assumed everyone got games on steam.

I made that mistake when I got dbd. So I had to get the game again on Playstation since I didn't know it could crossplay. But I didn't have a tv yet to even play the playstation on, and Kitsunary leant her old ps4 to me back when we moved to San Jose, which was the last place we were at before Utah for a year or two. I didn't use the ps4 during the entire time we were there because we had no place to hook it up to. The addition of my computer desktop to the room we stayed in took up all the outlets in addition to the google home stuff that was there, and there was nowhere to put the tv plug, which I would've used to play. And it was a small room where our futon took up the entire walkable floor save the short walkway in front of the door and my desk as well. So there was nowhere to put the ps4 either save the mattress or carpet which also made it not viable.

And the main reason is that I heavily prefer my pc over the console in most cases. I have easy access to discord and the twitter browser, and have the comfort of typing with a keyboard. So it's easier for me, especially when typing my thoughts on twitter was so chronic. I wanted to be able to post easily while playing. I didn't have a laptop to make that easier. Steam games are better for me cause I still have the choice of using a controller regardless of if I'm on console or not. The only time console is better is for exclusives and standard hardware that reduces the occurence of compatibility issues and crashes. And graphical issues if any would at least be the same across devices, and developers design around that. I'm also just used to alt tabbing a lot.

The ps4 I got from Kitsunary was the one she had for a good long while, before she replaced it with a different edition ps4. So it had seen a good deal of use before I got it. And when I finally decided to try it, trying to play a disc game on it failed, with wierd clicking noises as it tried to load the disc. I didn't know at the time I could just buy games digitally on it. I'd done it with the switch but not the ps4.

I was hopeful when we got the tv that I could get it to work, but things didn't turn out the way I'd hoped. But I suppose at this point that's already been cleared up and it's a non-issue now. Though a non-issue that may have stopped everything else that happened.

And that is why I'm really happy I got into vrchat. I no longer have to worry about just being text on a screen. People can hear me, hear my background noise, etc., and all those doubts that may have generated distrust against me back then disappear, even when I'm a rando. And such situations will never happen to me again. I can't be friends with someone who doesn't trust me or won't even give it a chance. I won't allow anyone to ever treat me the same way you once treated me. Especially with Red being a mortal voice instead of an account with a lock symbol on it on twitter. People understand he very much exists and still exists so people would be discouraged heavily from trying anything if it came down to it.

When I'm angry I make angry posts on tumblr or twitter or something, or I'll type angrily on stepmania or a similar game. When Red's angry, he will find a way to turn that anger into action and he doesn't pull his punches. He is a respectable responsible tact-minded being almost to a fault, moreso than most people you'll meet. But he makes it a point not to piss him off, and nothing pisses him off more than someone actively inflicting harm on me.

I've said a lot of things. Out of confusion. Out of passive aggressive disbelief that people would act as ambiguous as you did for that long. Out of desperation because of my heart. Out of anger because of the Kay thing leaving a lasting wound under my skin. Or out of not knowing what to do with my feelings whether or not you were for me or not. Out of fear wondering if the path I was taking would lead me to losing Red. But nothing I did deserved what I was dealt.

[dudeuncle]

1. My mother makes me watch her take a bath every evening because she is afraid of falling (she is able bodied, this is not a real concern)

2. My mother does not let me go to my aunt’s house (even though I have a car) because she claims I do not love her any more. 

3. My mother considers my part time job “not a real job” even though it’s in the field I studied and even though the market is shitty and this is the only job available. 

4. My mother wants me to train her dog, and gets mad if she has to train it. 

5. My mother makes comments about how at her age she wore a size 00 (I am almost eight inches taller and a size 16) and how I should lose weight, and then always says it’s a reflection on herself and not me. 

6. My mother has raised my sister to yell at me the way she yells at me, and discourages any real relationship between the two of us. 

7. My mother takes my phone away when she gets mad at me by ripping it out of my hands. 

8. My mother has given me CPTSD yet pity posts on Facebook about how she suffers from the same ailment and is growing from it. 

9. My mother twists stories in her head until I look like the bad guy. My phone (a phone that is three years old and once was hers) is not working unless it’s on wifi and even after I showed it to her, she claimed that I was lying and just didn’t want to spend time with her. 

10. My mother claims I have bedbugs in my room because it is a mess. (It is a mess because she ripped the doors off my closet in a anger fueled rage and then told me it was my responsibility to fix them)

11. My mother only ever wants to talk about her workday, and when I try to talk about mine she gets angry. 

12. My mother claims everyone must walk on eggshells around me even though I sit quietly in my room and do nothing most of the time because she judges me if I go anywhere. 

13. My mother has admitted to trying to replace me with a student she favors because “I don’t love her anymore” 

14. My mother has made the holidays (once my favorite thing) unbearable as she spews all her anger on me.

15.  My mother has BPD and has pushed all her friends away and is now using those tactics on me. 

16. My mother claims that I no longer wish to hand out with her unless she is spending money on me even though I have been paying for my own incidental purchases for three years now. 

17. My mother gets mad at me for writing on my computer/phone/journals because she claims, “I was an English major and never get to write in my free time, so why should you?” 

18. My mother hijacked a trip my friends and I were taking into the city and came along with us, turning it into my “graduation present”. While I did have fun with her that day, I know I would have had fun with my friends too. 

19. My mother told me that my act of “teenage rebellion” was watching Doctor Who from the ages of 15-17 because she hated that show because her older brother watched it. I only watched it because I found it interesting, and now no longer tell her about anything I watch on television/movies.

20. In regards to that, my mother gets mad when I finally express my interests because she says that I do not share them with her ever. 

21. My mother assumes my father and I are “in love” and that I am his “second wife/real wife” because he is not paralyzed to talk to me and we have a good relationship .

22. In regards to that, my mother does not know that my father and I have been hanging out every Friday. 

23. My mother claims I am addicted to my phone because I use it to; stream tv, listen to music, listen to podcasts, read, write, work, answer emails, catch up with my friends, play games, and text even though she sits on her ass from 3pm to 11pm and watches the same four shows in reruns. 

24. My mother got mad at me when my phone bluetooth plays my text message sounds because I should know better. ( I do not control when people text me)

25. My mother claims that she would love me “if I was gay” while saying/acting homophobic. She does not know that I am in fact bisexual.

26. My mother gives my sister all the love she used to give me, and it pains me to see her act kindly towards her but nastily towards me. 

27. My mother is still the only person I feel like I can cry too, but even that is straining. 

[alienstargirl1111]

i refuse to suffer at the hands of unevolved men anymore

every time i evaluate my relationship too deeply, all that i see are the parallels that exist from my mother to me. i call her to talk and she cries to me about the fear she is experiencing about going to couples therapy with my father. i allow myself to let the fact that the relationship she is telling me about is parental to me dissolve into the hot acid of my mind. and i detach as much as i can for a water moon with a fourth house stellium. i want to ask her to do this for me. do it to show me better and to show me different. do it so i can really know that i don't exist for others and that my needs do matter and that i value myself. show me how to do it right so i don't end up here too. and what kills me is that i see it in everything. i see it in my brother’s unwillingness to dance and passive aggressive comments. I see it in my own unwillingness to dance and explosive anger. and i see it in how i know it happens, i see very clearly how we are hurt at this ripe age when everything is changing and we are changing too. we are like goddamned play dough being poked and scratched and shoved into the ideas that those around us hold over our heads. and when we are not protected and you can't protect yourself, the easiest thing to do is please those around you because you convince yourself that you must not deserve to be protected and everyone else has something you're missing or else you wouldn't be forced into a life that feels like this. it sometimes feels as though everyone got to focus on themselves and live their life on their own accordance, except for you. and that is how people are put into those lives where they don't accomplish their hearts intentions. you assume that you are here as a support beam. and you let your life, your relationships, your love and your hate, your anger, your fire, your realist, truest, dirtiest, most authentic identity slip into the sludge that you are building inside you- not to mention the sludge your consuming trying to cope with what is essentially the death of yourself. and it is an ego death, stronger than what any psychedelics can achieve. trust me, ie experienced that too. but when it’s like this, you’re gone and it leaves you raw and exposed. you let yourself get away and now you have to rebuild who you were from the very deepest pits of your stomach and fingernails and become human again. and do you think my grasp on these feelings is as equally confusing as it is clear because i didn't have to experience it as generational trauma and the need for a man as a form of protection and self destruction? do you even know what i just said? i both unconscientiously and subconsciously found these situations and walked into them only knowing what i had seen in front of me without even really knowing what was in front of me. it was normal, and it got so bad, so fast. and that was still normal. i was so clearly not okay. i needed someone to notice and help me.  i used to be so angry that i ever let that happen to me, that i ever folded into a neat little napkin as to not ever anger a man. and what's sad is it’s happened more often than not in my relationships with men. the first, of course, being my father, and then every man that came after him. i have to be the one to end this and do the scary thing because I'm afraid my mom won't. but i don't even ask her to do it for me because i don't want her to feel guilty when she can't leave and it doesn’t get better. putting that weight on her shoulders will leave her in crippling guilt, or be the shove that she needs. but who the fuck am i to tell? how unfair is it that i assigned this role to myself to have to make that decision for my parent’s marriage. maybe i have to do it for her and show her what the path looks like. men have hurt me. and i have been big and small and crazy and mean and nurturing, and ultimately, malleable for them. so it might be my fault, or it might be the fault of every single woman that existed before me. or every single man that existed before me. or how we cannot see eye to eye in a patriarchal society, we are simply not allowed to. i am done doing anything for men. i need to be alone i need room ands space. i need to leave and go to space. maybe sit on saturns rings and feel my physical body be torn away from me in an explosion so i (my mind) can be left to float around aimlessly forever, completely untethered and never having to be attached to anything ever again. men have shown me very little that I've ever needed to know. i exist peacefully without them and it heals me to do so. i think i want to ask my mom to do it for me because i know i would, and will do it for the women that come after me. i know i will do it for her. and none of this is to say i am happy about my parents possibly getting a divorce. it’s the meaning behind it all. it’s what that signifies to me. and my dad is a good man. he has to know this isn't against him personally, but  that it means much more. it means i don't allow men to hurt me anymore and i am brave enough to be alone. it means healing. it means change. like summer into fall. that's all it really means. and my lover is sweet and tender. watching me when my eyes are closed, looking at me in awe that i exist in front if his face. he puts my toes in his mouth. he tucks my hair behind my ear when we kiss and he rubs my back and makes me peanut butter and jellies. he is kind and open minded, and he slaps me sometimes. and he accuses me of lying and twists my words then tells me to shut the fuck up. he leaves without helping me make the bed. and i sometimes wonder if i even like him anymore or if i just like that he is a boy who likes me most of the time. the faeries tell me that they will help me get rid of him from the inside out and i will let them when it is time, but until then, all i do is build up this resentment towards him for being a man and treating me like a women. will i miss him? of course i will. 

[artzee-bee]

Not going anywhere | Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Request:” Hi i have request for you ,Lucifer and the reader have a big fight they are married, and this fight it's lucifer fault The reader leaves home and Lucifer decides to give her space After a few days, he goes to the reader and realizes that she has been missing for a few days,When the person behind all this claims that the reader is dead and gives them a her body . Everyone thinks that the reader is dead and Lucifer He gets depressed and thinks it's all his fault , and after a few days, the thieves release the singer and the reader goes to Lucifer.Lucifer first thinks it is an imagination and then apologizes to the reader Thank you so much”

Genre: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: kidnapping, death

~~~

Your intention had never been to start a fight. All you wanted an explanation (preferably one that also made sense) and an apology, but apparently that was too much to ask, because as soon as you voiced your opinion, Lucifer went up in flames

“Don’t start this again!”

“I dislike it just as much as you do but what I hate more is being cancelled on, AGAIN, through a text message no less!”

“It was an emergency!”

“It’s always an emergency Lucifer! It’s starting to sound a lot like work means more to you than I do!” “The detective needs me, damn it!” your husband yelled

“And she has you! Every day of every week! All I ask for is one date night and for the past month you’ve done nothing but avoid committing to one or backing out at the last second! I’m tired of being your second choice Lucifer! I’m your wife and you are my husband, I love you to the ends of the world, I just wish you'd say no to Decker from time to time...”

“I’m saving people’s lives Y/N. So if you’re not on your deathbed, other people are and they need me now!” as he said this, Lucifer walked right past you and into your bedroom, seemingly ignorant to the painful words he’d just said. You looked around the living room, vision blurry with tears, your chest heavy with anger and disgust. You rushed towards the elevator.

“When you find time in your busy schedule and feel like being my spouse again, let me know!” the elevator door closed before Lucifer could say anything

~~~

When Lucifer woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, he didn’t think much of it.Truthfully, he was still kind of pissed at the attitude you had given him a day before, so he got dressed as usual and went to the precinct, assuming you’ll be home by nightfall.

Except when he got home that night, he stopped by Lux first, which ended up like it always does: with him sucked into an endless cycle of booze and dancing, that lasted until well into the night. When he did enter the penthouse eventually, he found it empty. Exactly the way he had left it in the morning. Even the tie he had left on the floor, after deciding last minute that it didn’t go with his suit, was untouched. Now this was curious, but still, Lucifer felt like you must be playing hard to get. He sent you one text message, before going to bed

“Call me when you can!”

The day after that, he figured his part was done! By reaching out first, he had already made a big compromise, so now it was your turn! To reach out, come home! But that didn’t happen that day, or the day after that.

Three days after the text message,Lucifer was getting worried. He was looking at his phone every other minute. Always making sure he hadn’t accidently put it on silent or missed any texts. He sent more messages, telling you he was sorry and that he wanted you to come home. That he would listen and spend more time with you, promising luxurious dates and weekend trips, if only you forgave him. You didn’t even open the messages.

“Lucifer are you listening?” Decker was insanely annoyed at her partner’s lack of concentration

“Sorry detective. I’ve...I’ve got a lot on my mind”

“Well, better get it out of the way now, so that we can move on to our case!” she said, cleaning out her desk quickly, before resting back into her chair “Talk to me!”

“It’s Y/N. I’m worried about her!”

“Why?” “We...had a fight a couple days ago and she left. She hasn’t come back since”

“Have you heard from her at all?”

“No…” Lucifer said, embarrassed at his own lack of care for you. He should have called you earlier, reached out more! He should have tried harder!

“How long had she been missing for?”

“4...maybe 5 days…”

“Lucifer, are you sane? And you’re only telling me now?!” Chloe jumped from her seat, turning on her computer

“I thought she needed space! I thought she was avoiding me intentionally cause she was angry! I didn’t know…” Lucifer choked back a sob, not wanting to break down in tears in the middle of the precinct

“Lucifer!” Chloe caught hold of his hand “I’m gonna find her! I promise you!” A few days later, she did. Well, more like Y/n came to her, in the shape of a pretty little gift box left on Decker's doorstep.

“A lil too late on your case detective” read the note attached to it. 

Inside were Y/N’s clothes, all of them stained with dark, dried blood. Y/N was declared dead that day and the case was closed. At her funeral, only her closests friends were present. Lucifer wanted it to be as intimate as possible.

That day was also the first time anyone had seen Lucifer, since the news. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes almost matched the black suit he was wearing. Throughout the ceremony he kept twisting his wedding band, a habit he’d picked up on since you went missing. He chose not to do a speech, but once the crowd disappeared, and he was left face to face with your grave, he pulled out a little piece of paper from his pocket and sat down on the grass.

“In hell, everyone feared me. There, I was nothing but another server of the universe, ruling over an empire I never really wanted, because I never had a choice. So eventually I left, thinking anywhere will be better than what I had, and I came to earth.

I ran into you about 2 weeks later, before I really even knew how to behave myself. Before I knew anything about who I really was besides ‘the devil’. I longed to know, grow and discovers different sides of me, where I could be something new, and you gave it to me. You made me who I never thought I could possibly be. You made me a lover. I never thought of myself as capable to love anyone, in any degree, but your light shone everywhere you went and your kindness touched me and everyone around you. It became impossible to not get infatuated with your person. I allowed you to see and feel around every dark corner of my soul and being and every time I thought it was the end. Everytime I would take in your touch as if it was the last, I would prepare myself for abandonment, but it never came. Through everything you stood by my side and when I felt my darkest, you gave me a fistful of your light and that was enough to keep me going. You married a broken man and called him perfect, despite everyone telling you how much of a foul you were. Even then, you shooed them away. Even then you chose me. I wasn’t worthy of your love or your trust and our last night together proved it.

You’re not here anymore to hear my apologies and I’ll never forgive myself for it. You’ve gone now somewhere I can not follow, but I know you are well taken care of there. I hope, someway, somehow, you’ll hear these words: I am sorry. I loved you with my entire soul. Not listening to you was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ll never forgive myself. I choose however, to remember you as you were, because I know that’s what you’d want. I’ll remember you and your laugh.I’ll remember our date nights and shopping sprees. Nights in Lux or on the penthouse balcony. I’ll remember all the meals you prepared for me and the flirtatious remarks you used to make, because you thought they were so silly. I’ll remember the little frown on your face whenever you worked on an important project for work and I’ll remember every evening walk around the block you’d make me accompany you on. I know I always complained about them, but they were always fun. Everything I ever did with you was always fun.

I loved you. I still do. You are my everything Y/N. Thank you for devoting yourself to me in all the ways that you did. I’ll forever live on in my heart.“

~~~

It had been months since your disappearance. After all this time, you finally managed to escape your kidnappers and report them to the New York police station, since that’s where you had been held hostage for so long. As soon as the paperwork was done and you were sure that the people who ruined you were getting the punishment they deserved, you jumped on a train and headed straight back home. Straight to Lucifer.

Lux looked exactly the same as you had left it. You were washed over by a wave of comfort that almost brought you to tears. Home. You never thought you’d get to step in here again. Overwhelmed, you took a seat on one of the couches, allowing your head to rest back on it, as you took in every detail of your surroundings: the feel of the leather on your fingertips, the cool breeze of the air conditioning, the warm lights. Everything was still here.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound

“Hi love…” your voice broke as you said those words. Words you never thought you would be able to mutter again. The sight of your husband, messy as he was, made you weak in the knees. He was standing at the top of the staircase, dressed in nothing but his robe, tied carelessly around his waist. He had probably just woken up. You wanted to say something again, but before you could, he laughed

“Nope” he said simply, before making his way down the stairs and to the bar “I’m not doing this. Not today, not ever!” Lucifer filled his glass to the top with bourbon, before turning around and trying to leave back to where he came from

“Lucifer, it's me!”

“Sure you are, except you’re not real! Nice of dad, taking my ability to stay endlessly sober, getting me drunk, forcing visions of my dead wife onto me to teach me another lesson about managing my emotions. Real clever, except this is too much! So I’m going to enter that elevator and I expect to never have to see you again, hum? Right, well, au revoir now!” he continued on his way, but before he could get far, you were clutching on the silk tie of his robe. Lucifer felt the tug around his waist and turned around slowly to look at you, this time a little more unsure. As if he was trying to figure you out

“Lucifer, I’m Y/N. I escaped”

“Escaped? But that’s impossible, she died! I saw it-”

“What you saw was a bloody shirt!” he looked up to meet your gaze, tears already forming “They lied to you Lucifer”

Finally, it seemed like he had connected all of the pieces of the puzzle. The glass of alcohol fell to the ground and your husband wrapped you in a big hug for the first time in months. He nuzzled his head in your hair and took in your scent, your figure, your warmth. Hell, you were even more perfect that he remembered! Silent tears fell down both of your cheeks as you collapsed to the ground, still holding onto each other for dear life

“I’m so sorry” Lucifer sobbed in your hair “I’m so so sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault Luci”

“If I hadn’t been a jerk you wouldn’t have left! If I would have simply listened to you, they wouldn’t have gotten to you! You would’ve stayed here, where you belong! You would have stayed with me but instead I was too busy with my stupid job and the stupid cases and I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” he continued crying on your shoulder as you rubbed small circles on his back

“I’m here now my love” you whispered, kissing his cheek “And I’m not going anywhere”

[mercy-burning]

Affection

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Spencer and Y/N decidedly hate each other. But when a near-death experience puts one of them in a coma, their mutual hatred might have to take a backseat— Or will it? Category: Angst / Happy Ending! + Humor and a lil bit of Fluff Content: Strong language, Reader is in a coma, mentions of injury, kissing Word Count: 2.6k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: This one’s for Pom’s ( @imagining-in-the-margins ) September Writing Challenge, Enemies To Lovers! I have another one coming up as well, but this idea wouldn’t get out of my head ever since I watched The Abyss with my dad and I had to get it out 😅 I hope you like it!!

———

I swear to fucking God, if this motherfucker really thinks he—

That was the last thing Y/N thought before she was knocked out cold.

With her line of work, it was natural to assume that she was thinking about the unsub, but unfortunately the criminal she and her team were tracking down was the farthest thing on her mind. Spencer would have chastised her for it— letting something else cloud her thoughts while she was in a dark alley, alone, and with a serial killer on the loose.

"You should be smarter than that!" she could hear him say in that high pitch he always carried when he was upset— especially with her. "If you don't get yourself killed one of these days, then it'll be the rest of us!"

Thinking about it made her blood boil.

"It's your fault," she wanted to tell him. "I had to blow off some steam because you were pissing me off!"

The only thing was... She couldn't tell him.

Well... She could.

He just couldn't hear her, because no one could.

It was like some stupid, cliché movie, where you found yourself standing over your dying body and having to choose whether to live or not. It seemed like the obvious choice, to fucking live, but... Y/N found herself wandering around her hospital room, yelling into the void and attempting to jump back into her own body.

Nothing was working.

And when Spencer showed up, his face red and his hair and clothes all messed up, she wanted to scream at him.

"Hey!"

Nothing. He was practically lifeless as he drifted to the chair next to her bed and sat down. It was nearly impossible to read from his expression and body language how he was feeling, and that alone was enough to make her angry again. (Not that the anger had really gone away since waking up next to her comatose body, of course.)

"Hey! Dumbass!"

Still nothing.

As Spencer just blankly stared down at Y/N's bed, she decided she'd had enough.

"SPENCER FUCKING REID, IF YOU DON'T HELP ME RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL HAUNT YOUR ASS UNTIL THE END OF ETERNITY, AND I'M GONNA LAY FAT, STINKIN' GHOST SHITS IN YOUR SHOES, DO YOU HEAR ME? AND—"

"I hate you."

It was a bold enough statement to stop Y/N in her tracks, no matter how quietly he'd mumbled it. She knew for sure that he didn't like her, after years of constant bickering and dirty glares and whatever else, but... The word 'hate' was like a knife that sliced through her joking rage and stopped the whole world around her.

If she wasn't already out of her own body, she just knew she would have felt her soul leave.

Spencer didn't hate anyone. Not that she was aware of, anyway. He found nearly everyone delightful, and vice versa... But for some reason, he hated Y/N.

She scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah, well... Feeling's mutual, I guess..."

"You're stupid, and reckless, and you don't think. And you're a goddamn nightmare to work with... You know what— You're a stone-cold bitch."

His words made her physically step backwards, and it felt like if she were a cartoon, there might have been steam coming out of her ears.

"Yeah, well jokes on you, you make it easy," she seethed. "Fuck you!"

"How... How dare you..." he continued, anger reddening his face.

Y/N watched as he balled his fists and leaned in a little closer to her body, his voice tight and strained. "How dare you walk into my life and boss me around and make it impossible to breathe... From the moment I met you, you've brought out this... this fire in me that I can't put out no matter how hard I try, and it's insufferable—You're insufferable, and I hate you, how dare—"

Whatever he was going to say next was cut off by a shortness of breath. Spencer breathed in, loud and choked, and the next breath he let out was nothing short of a sob. His eyes squeezed shut, tears rolling down them and his hands clutched the bedsheets with a vigor and rage that Y/N had never seen from him, even in all the years she'd spent visibly getting on his last nerves.

"N—No," she choked out, feeling her throat tighten. "Don't... Don't turn into a sappy mess on me now, do you hear me, Reid? You hate me, don't... Don't..."

"I don't hate you," he whispered, wiping his eyes and reaching out to grab her lifeless hand. "I hate that you make me feel this way, but... I could never hate you..."

She wanted nothing more than to be able to squeeze his hand back, to tell him, not even necessarily with words but with a simple gesture, that she was right there and wasn't going to go anywhere.

She just... had to figure out how to make that true.

Still, Spencer kept going, a small laugh bubbling up through tears and phlegm. "But I will hate you if you die, because I just know you're gonna come back and haunt me for eternity... Probably... shit in my shoes or something."

Y/N barked a laugh that was true and pure... Happy, even.

The genius may have acted like he hated her, but it turns out he knew her pretty well, perhaps even fondly in one way or another.

To think— All those years she spent seeing him sneer at her, feeling his glare burn into her soul, the amount of times she caught him making faces or inappropriate gestures behind her back, all of it... And the whole time, he was probably doing it with a little flicker of fondness deep within the confines of his heart, which he swore to fill with nothing but hatred for her.

The thought made the little flicker in her own heart burn brighter.

As she wandered closer to her bed, beside Spencer and in front of her own body, she reached her hand out to see if she could touch his face, to give him something...

Even though she had no luck, something shifted when he spoke.

"Just... Come back to me, please? I know I'm not good at apologizing, but if it means I get you back... I swear that I will make up every horrible thing I've ever done or said to you. Just... Please don't leave me."

He laid his head down in his hands and tried not to cry again, every said horrible thing replaying on a loop in his brain like some kind of taunt. He wished more than anything for a chance to make it up to Y/N, and now he might not ever be able to.

"You think I'd leave this mortal earth without getting the chance to kick your ass?"

Everything was so fuzzy and light and brimming with these high emotions that Y/N almost didn't realize she was saying these words and Spencer was hearing them. She almost didn't feel the warmth of her bloodstream beneath layers of skin, the beat of her heart slowly coming back to life at the sounds and smells of the hospital room.

She almost didn't realize that Spencer was grabbing her now, his warm hands covering her cold ones and bringing them back to life as well.

"Screw you," he breathed with absolutely no malice to be detected in his voice.

They shared a smile so bright, no one would have been able to guess that they never got along.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Not only was she stuck at home doing nothing while on suspension (Yes, it turns out that storming off into an alley and not paying attention while on the job, just because a co-worker pissed you off, can get you suspended by Chief Strauss), but Y/N was also being visited by a daily rotation of her co-workers and friends and family, and her house was nearly covered in flower bouquets and baked goods.

It was a nightmare.

The sentiment was nice, sure, but if she had to move one more vase, she was going to start throwing them.

God, maybe Spencer was right, I am a stone-cold bitch...

Thinking of him also put a little damper on her mood.

He hadn't been to visit her once... And she figured that after their nice little moment at the hospital, he'd at least stop by with flowers or an "I'm glad you're not dead!" call, but there was nothing on his end. Not even a text message or a letter.

But for all she knew, their small moment of kindness could have been a figment of her concussed imagination.

Please, she thought, if I brought it up to him he'd probably just laugh in my face.

Rather than a laugh, Y/N heard the bright sound of her doorbell, which normally would have meant a fun unexpected visit or a date she was getting ready for, but by now it only meant another vase of flowers or a pie from a neighbor she still didn't remember the last name to.

Either way, she answered the door with as polite a smile as she could muster, and instead of finding a vaguely familiar neighbor or acquaintance, she found Spencer.

Though, to be fair, he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Well, this is a surprise," Y/N drawled, crossing her arms. "I don't even think you've ever been to my house."

She was surprised to see him nervous around her, rather than irritated. And she would have found it endearing had they not been practically mortal enemies from the moment they met... She was suspicious.

"O—Oh, yeah... I know, I just thought... I wanted to come see how you were doing... These are for you."

He held out the flowers, which were truthfully the pretties set she'd received, and it irked her. Because of course he of all people would be the one to tell which kinds of flowers she'd prefer.

"Thanks," she said, taking them from him and allowing him the space to come inside. "Watch out, it's a maze in here..."

While she looked for somewhere to put the flowers on display, she could feel Spencer looking around her space, probably profiling what he could behind a sea of flowers.

"Hm."

Y/N sighed. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just... I'm surprised this many people actually like you."

Despite the nature of his observation, she found it comforting. That level of playful contempt was what she was used to, and it brought a sparkle to her eye as she turned to face him. "Ha... I'm not a complete bitch, you know."

"Sure."

Between the growing grin on his face and the smirk forming on her own, Spencer and Y/N found themselves falling back into a familiar rhythm. And yet, something about it was still... different.

So much so that Y/N felt honest-to-God butterflies in her stomach when he approached, hands retreating from his pockets and head tilting off to the side. His expression held that look he got when he was trying to figure someone out, usually an unsub. She hated to admit it to herself, but a little part of her always found that side of him extremely attractive.

And now that it was right in front of her?

She didn't know what to make of it.

"What?" she snapped, looking for an excuse to hide any and all attraction she was feeling.

Spencer stepped back a little, breaking away from whatever trance he'd just been in. "God, why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"You push away every single show of affection! Any time I'm trying to be nice, you just act like it's some big inconvenience to you!"

Y/N laughed. "Ha! That's what that was? Just now? When you insulted me, and then started stalking towards me with that look you get when you're interrogating an unsub? That's what you call affection?"

"That's not... That's not what that was!"

"Oh really? Then what was it?"

"It was part of the routine! Banter! Y—You know, that's our thing! We insult each other, and we act like we hate each other but we... We don't, really..."

The longer he went on, the faster her heart raced. This was the moment in the movie where he inevitably blurted out that he loved her, and in turn she would either kiss him or slap him, or slap him and then kiss him...

But Y/N was still feeling rather playful despite the swarm of butterflies in her stomach begging for some relief.

"Oh?" she prompted, taking a slow step closer to him. "We don't?"

Spencer seemed to get red immediately, and he avoided her eyes. "U—Uh... Well I... I thought... Maybe I read it all wrong, a—and I'm sorry if I did..."

She'd been getting closer meanwhile, and now they were practically toe-to-toe. He did his best to ignore her, taking a few steps back until she cornered him against the front door. And with the way he wasn't doing anything to get out of his predicament, she took that as his acceptance and took another leap.

"What..." she cooed, crawling her fingers up the front of his chest like a spider. "You like me? Hmm?"

When he finally looked down at her, she allowed herself to smile, albeit slowly and with calculation.

In a flash Spencer went from nervous to fed-up, weight seeming to visibly lift from his chest as he sank against the door. "You're messing with me..."

"It's so fun."

"You know what, screw you."

"Is that a promise?"

"Maybe it is. What are you gonna do ab—"

She didn't let him finish.

In an instant, Y/N lunged forward and pulled him down for a kiss.

Even though she thought he might have tried to take control of the situation, he ended up surprising her with a wanton moan as his hands clutched at her sides, holding on for dear life. Their bodies and tongues collided in a mess of years worth of pent-up tension, chaotic and wild and fiercely beautiful in a way that put even the greatest first kisses to shame.

And of course, Spencer had to go and ruin it.

He pushed her away and looked almost panicked. "W—Wait, are you even cleared to do this?"

Y/N rolled her eyes, reaching out for him again. "I'm fine."

"Y/N, you were in the hospital! I thought... I thought you were..."

She appreciated the sentiment, but with her entire body on fire from his touch, she decided she needed more of it. "Yeah, but I'm not... I'm very much alive, and you know what?"

He blinked back at her, watching carefully as she leaned in close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's because of you. You make me feel... more alive than I've ever been."

"And... You're not messing with me this time?"

With a laugh,  Y/N shook her head and leaned up to brush her nose with his. "Nuh-uh... But if you'd like to, I'd love to mess with you in a more fun way. And maybe I'll even let you do it back..."

Spencer hummed, feeling himself gravitate towards her more with every passing second. "Deal."

He barely got the word out all the way before she was dragging him through the maze of flora and contained food and into her bedroom, where piece by piece, their hatred and fondness for one another combined to create the most exquisite of nights.

———

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[firebirdsdaughter]

Well…

… Still very tired, but still have Encanto thoughts.

Bruno’s excitement about Mirabel hugging Isabella. How badly has he wanted to hug his own sisters for years only he convinces himself he’ll never be able to.

While it ultimately may have helped in shocking her to awareness, Bruno ghosting probably did a number on Alma as well??? She watches her husband die, then years later not only does it look like their safety net is faltering, but then her son vanishes the same night. She doesn’t know where he is or if he’s even alive. That must have weighed on her extra and made her even more desperate to keep things the same.

Pepa, too. It might be me projecting, but I feel like Bruno’s the type to assume someone hates him forever after one fight and just never tries to fix it. I’m sure Pepa got mad about the wedding thing, and he responded by running away and avoiding her. Meanwhile, she’s got her own anxiety and the whole mood effecting the weather stuff to deal w/. Maybe after simmering for a while, she tried to rethink and bridge the gap, but Bruno was too convinced he’d ruined them forever to accept. Meanwhile, Pepa starts having kids, she’s also under pressure from their mother. Maybe she thought he didn’t want anything to do w/ her anymore. Then, he disappears. And for a woman who clearly has intense emotions, stress, and mood swings, and those moods cause actual physical damage/weather effects, who has young children, trying to manage her own family, also under pressure… What’s easier? Dealing w/ the overwhelming pain and fear of her younger twin brother having disappeared, not knowing where he is or if he’s even alive, w/ perhaps even the creeping guilt that it might be her fault for getting mad at him that time… Or simplifying the situation down to ‘well he ruined my wedding and caused bad things to happen.’ Was she upset about the wedding? Probably. But that in no way means she’d stop loving him. But considering the way her emotions cause storms, insisting even to herself that she’s more angry at him than terrified for/grieving him is easier. Less lingering. Less painful. That’s why, when he comes back, that fight doesn’t matter anymore. Bc in reality, it stopped mattering probably not terribly long after it happened, they were both just too socially awkward and stressed out by other things to fully communicate that. But after he disappeared, the anger was probably the only thing that helped her counter missing him or blaming herself. Provides a simple answer for the kids about why she gets so upset about hearing his name. Helps her keep it together enough to raise her children, deal w/ her mother. That’s why it’s her go to answer. Bc if she thinks about the good stuff, she might lose control.

On a lighter note, Felix’s face right at the start of that song. That its the face of a man who knows his wife is about to start talking. He’s already in position while she’s still shushing Mirabel. Also I just love Felix, his design and animations are a delight and his voice acting is perfect.

Mirabel singing about a ‘new foundation’ in the finale… She’s the new foundation. She’s Alma’s successor. Again, I understand why no one made the connection in universe, esp when the door vanished, but Alma doesn’t have any powers. And that makes sense, that the ‘pillar’ of the family wouldn’t have any, bc when you have magic, it’s consuming. Like that’s the whole point. She’s very different from Alma, yes. But we also see Alma getting involved w/ the work in the village, gift or not gift, she’s the one they turn to in concern. She’s basically the mayor, for lack of a better comparison. Everyone just got so focused on the magic powers, they forgot that. Mirabel’s connection to Casita just further convinces me of it. The house even tries to help her hide the vision that’s supposedly of its destruction.

Mirabel and Dolores having that stare down across the dinner table. Family energy.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Can you do a reader x Damon salvatore where everyone thinks the only reason they are together is because damon sired her, but she gets angry and tells them the truth that she always had feelings and didn't say anything because she knew he liked Elena...

Sire Or No Sire

damon Salvatore x reader / masterlist

summary; it is easily perceived why you look at Damon the way that you do, though most people think that is an affect of him having turned you to save your life. And that is the last straw of you realising that they know nothing / warnings; mentions of Damon x Elena, mentions of Damon x Caroline, jealousy, angst, mentions of the sire bond, mentions of sex, swearing, angst, breakup, toxic friendships

Their voices, their aloud opinions, brought you nothing but pain, the tragedy seeping into your vervain allergic veins, as you shook your head. It was as though they thought that you were unable to hear their chatter, but you knew that they would be wrong with assuming so. You were no longer weak, with human senses flooding your every whim, you were a vampire.

An immortal. It felt strange to think that you would no longer age in physical layers, instead, your mind would be the only participant within your body to forever grow with the various memories that you would be collecting through the next decades. Though, you weren’t the only one, Caroline was in that room, reprimanding Damon for saving your life.

You could hear her words loud and clear, as the Salvatores and the rest of your friends stood by, some agreeing with her, such as Elena, whereas others remained silence, such as the vampire that had turned you in the first place. The viscous tone hissing out of the blonde’s mouth scathed you emotionally, and ended with you thudding back against Damon’s bedroom door, before entering the room, and ensuring that it was locked behind you.

“The two of you are only together because of the sire bond. You turning her, had become nothing more an excuse to fuck and put a label on it!”

Did she think that she was defending you? Because to you, it didn’t sound like it, but that was Caroline for you, always insistent of her opinion, though, you two did get along. The pair of you understood what it was like to be on the sidelines, whilst perfect Elena played the victim every time, and got any guy she wanted, even her friends were swayed with the young gentlemen first.

Elena Gilbert was the epiphany of perfect; she was the damsel in distress, giving the opportunity to whomever she sought after to come and save her. You weren’t her, dissimilar to the whiny brunette, you were prepared to fight the monsters that threatened your life, human or not. And that included Damon long ago, before you saw how sweet the over century old man was.

One thing that you had never done though, was date someone and bluntly flirt with their brother. That was crossing a line, you appreciated honesty, especially in this lifestyle, and Caroline had declared her thoughts. She spoke truthfully, believing her own words, though they were far from facts.

They needed to know that you weren’t invested in a relationship with Damon because of him turning you, it was something you had never asked for, nor dreamed about. But it had happened, and whilst it brought the pair of you closer, there was no maker bond, instead, there had already been a flirtatious brewing between the pair of you whilst you were still human.

You becoming like him gave the two of you more time together as he trained you to breathe idly in and calm your bloodlust. Or how in the middle of the night, he would come by your house, and awake you from a terror, afterwards taking you for an innocent stroll through the woods.

Without him, you’d have been on a path to nowhere, lost and unable to find a route to continue on, wading through the life after death with no direction, nor set course to keep you in line. Surely, you’d have murdered many a man or woman, if you were dependant with surviving with her bewitched curse of immortality, digging into their inviting throats with your dagger canine teeth, that pulsed to be fed.

“That’s a load of- you know what, think what you want to think, you have a history of jealousy filled, toxic and werewolf involved relationships, you are not exactly the best person here to judge me on my healthy and loving romantic partnership with y/n!”

Damon half yelled at the vampiric blonde, however, another tone was fast to respond to his defensive outburst and cause the both of you a disgruntled pair of expressions. “She was turned by you brother, that runs the risk of a sore bond appropriating her feelings.”

Oh, noble Stefan. He had caused you to snap, thrusting the door open to his brother’s bedroom open, making its hinges weaken, as you whisked through the halls in seconds, joining the compendium of mystic falls in the living space, all eyes turned to you, well aware that you had heard all their smart mouthed and toxic opinions.

The sire bond wasn’t something that was too uncommon, however it affected nothing in your life. It was just for them to pick at something that was good, they could never allow something that was actually decent to revel in existence. They had to be the ones with the perfect prissy lives, not others.

“Shut your mouth, ripper!” Yes, you pulled at that string of his life, dangling it degradingly before his eyes, watching as his eyes that were focalised into you turned sour. “I love your brother, and just because you loved the love triangles the pair of you would be involved in with bitchy Gilbert over there, or bloody Katherine, does not make any other people that he or you are with invalid!”

Elena stepped forwards, her doe eyes boring with contained anger towards you. Though instead of speaking to you, her words were directed at her ex, and she wanted to gouge your reaction. “You promised me that we were going to last forever, are you going to do the same to her?”

“No, because I don’t need a time span to appreciate her presence in. I don’t need to tell her lies nor make selfish promises, because with her I am a better man.” Damon sneered at her, coming to stand beside you, protectively wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“It’s the sire bond.” Elena stated furiously, hating the fact that she was not getting her way. In turn, you laughed, shaking your head at her incessant denial of allowing Damon to move on.

“Shut the fuck up, if you had maybe given a shit about me in the past, you’d have realised that I would stare at you enviously when you were at his side. But maybe you knew, and you just wanted to brag, but I can prove that there is no bond other than the one we already built together.”

“Yeah, and how are you going to do that?” She pestered, and with a sorrowful glance directed at Damon, you dropped your head, anything but proud with what you were about to do. Swiftly you turned, watching as Damon’s eyes widened.

“I’m going to leave.” Whence you began to walk, a hand grasped your wrist, keeping your feet locked where they were. Caroline’s voice broke through the air, her eyes were filled with regret, from all the things that she had said, and all the opinions that she had formed.

“You’re not serious! You’re gonna break up with him because of us?” Stiffly you nodded, watching as Damon felt a taken back. He gaped his mouth open, in shock.

“I’d do anything for my friends, despite the circumstances not being reciprocated. I’m not even allowed to be in a relationship with the man that I love because you are all endorsed with the idea that it’s some stupid bond. Yes, we have a bond, but it’s not a sire one.”

“Baby, don’t.” Damon practically begged, watching as you yourself were torn and conflicted in regards to the situation. A sad smile monitored your face, as you slipped out of his grasp.

“We might have to wait another lifetime until we’re allowed to be together without resorts of undermining and people that don’t really care about us. Some people want there to be a whole ass agility course to separate us, but maybe if we wait, we can prove how wrong they are, if they’re not dead by then.”

Caroline felt terrible, once again Stefan had taken his brother’s life from him, and Elena, well she felt accomplished. She went to reach for Damon’s arm, but he threw her consoling manner and herself across the room, heading straight after you, with a bottle of bourbon.

If you could leave them to prove a point, so could be; he loved you. That was enough, especially for him, he could leave those doses of poison behind, if he would grant himself permission without asking, a peaceful life with you.

[kkusuka]

CONGRATULATIONS FOR 3K!!!! i am really happy for you! i love your writing and i believe you deserve each of your followers.

please, headcanons for jujutsu kaisen! i'd like king of curses sukuna, where he marries the reader, which is a princess from another continent to expand his territories (we all know that if sukuna wants territories he would just take them by force, he is the king after all, but that's just a detail) — unaware that he would find a tough woman, who does not like the idea of ​​marriage and hates him. it would be funny to have some dynamics queen x king. like hate sex; an important dinner with the court and they start throwing food at each other; the reader doesn't like the idea of concubines and send them away; how would he react? how did they fall in love? you don't have to write about everything i said, choose tree of them by the rules, but just seeing this idea here would be incredible! oh, and she/her pronouns please. thank you so much!!!

<3

a/n:  I……….. love this. I really hope I did the ask justice!

Well firstly, he probably takes a wife because he needs someone to clean the temple, and he’s sick of the town’s sacrifices. And what better for him than taking more land! That’s where you come in, lovely princess Y/n of the northern continent!

He was sure you would be some frail, shy little lamb that would do anything he says. Like a little maid for him to order around.

So his first opinion of you was that you were going to be a bore. And, in his defense, you gave him no reason to think otherwise. The first day you were there, you didn’t say a single word… to anyone. Not even a maid. So he really thought he would just kill you and tell everyone that you went missing.

He tried, on the sending night in the mansion he invited you to a diner with him. (aw, your first dinner as a married couple!) well- that’s if you had bothered to show up. For an hour, 12 minutes, and 17 seconds he waited for you to arrive in the dining hall. He was just fed up. How dare you? Did you know who he was? What he could do in a split second?

He was at your room door within seconds--- since you both refused to sleep in the same room-- and you opened the door like you hadn’t done a thing.

“Where the fuck were you?” -- he was already barging his way into your room, you calmly closed the door and waltzed back to your couch. Where he assumed you had spent your time before he came. “When I invitee you to dinner, you will be there”

“And if I don't want to?”

“Excuse me?” He was shocked. Angered. Deadly. Turned on? He really didn’t know but he was truly infuriated you even spoke back to him, never mind questioned his authority.

“I said,” you sighed. sling over the arm of the couch, tilting your head to the Demon before you, “what if I don't want to? I had no intention to entertain you over dinner this evening, nor do I any other time. So if you are here to berate me or spout about your authority, I suggest you take your leave.”

Spoiler alert (not really, just the expression) - you guys fucked until the sun came up, all over the same couch.

Somehow this became a common occurrence. Him doing something o annoy you, you doing something back, then taking your anger out on the other in a night full of moans and the sound of skin slapping.

And you held your word too, you didn’t show up to anything. But you did start sending people to tell him you wouldn’t be coming and repeatedly told him how disgusting you thought he was and how you hated him. Eventually, he was just fed up, he didn’t care what you thought of him and if you were only going to fuck him when you were angry, he would just firn another lady to fuck.

And, lord knows you hate him, but you were fucking married. And if you really hated one thing, it was infidelity. Your father had multiple concubines and you saw what it did to your mother and you would be damned if you let the same happen to you.

“Who the fuck is this, Sukuna?’ you were livid. The bastard looked so proud of himself, having some random commoner on his lap.

“This is Yui. I plan to make her a concubine this coming Sunday.” in all honesty, you should have expected this. A true heartless monster he was. You knew all about his womanizing way and how many women he went through, and you couldn’t exactly say he couldn’t have a concubine.

You really were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Reminded of your mother, you take the action you wish she did, “Fine, but if I see her- in any sense- I will have her head.”  his laugh echoed down the hallway until you reached your wing.

And true to your word, only two months later, she was seated in your seat at the dinner table. Unfortunately for her she never got to see the rest of the meal- a new lesson was learned, your warnings were not to be ignored.

Now, there was one event, not even you could evade; the monthly council dinner party. The most annoying party either of you had ever been to.

It was boring and was clearly just a hoax for nobles to get in your good graces. But, somehow, you both bonded over how much you hated it. You spent the whole time making fun of people’s outfits and how fancy all the food was- small portions really are the worst.

“Who let her walk out of the house like that?” you laughed into your wine glass. Sukuna doing the same, eyes darting to a woman fake laughing somewhere in the corner of the room. Clad in all brown the woman was an eyesore at best.

“The same person who allowed Dutchess Haruknuka out in that hat.”

You guys really just spent the night fooling around and talking shit. It was also the time you started playing games with him, predicting who would finish their food first, seeing who could catch more cheese cubes in their mouth, how much wine you could down in one go.

You still held a strong resentment against him, but he was becoming more and more tolerable.

So, falling in love wasn’t really falling. It was more like a crash through a glass store window into a china shop.

It didn’t happen often, but the mansion gets attacked by some “heroic” people trying to save the people from the demon king.

But this was the first time they had directly attacked your wing of the mansion. It was late before he heard a word about the attack, rushing over to protect his queen- when he began to call you that he didn’t know. The sight that greeted him was you fighting off grown men- covered I their blood, with barely a scratch, though he knew you beginning to be fatigued.

Just as you struck another man down, you let your guard down and was open to a blow to the back of your head, if he hadn’t stepped in the shielded you with his own body- the man falling dead at your feet.

Something in your eyes told him that protecting you with his life would become a pretty common occurrence.

A tiny little headcanon bonus:

Your first baby was a son and when he first learned to walk Sukuna would push him down every time he stood up near him and the only way you could get him to stop was by throwing baby toys at him.

tags: @diamond-3 @rinsangel @heyheyitsne @angelalje @monisi @crystal-lilac

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

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“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.