#and he flinched

[happyandticklish]

Me: *thinking I was gonna be super shy about tickling in a relationship*

Also me: *dumps bag of tickle tools out on the bed that I've financed, with matching bondage*

*explains in detail my exact ticklish spots (and has grown comfortable saying the word "tickle" outloud)*

*demonstrates on my (not as ticklish, so he's fine) boyfriend the various ways that you can tickle someone and what works best*

*debriefs for forever afterward about what tickled and what didn't and how to get everything to be as ticklish as possible*

*will confidently ask for sessions if I know there's a chance for us to be completely alone at his place*

Also also me: *can't ask for him to tickle me if we're just chilling to save my life*

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.

Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.

Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.

Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.

I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.

After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.

To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)

He can't be upset about this.

He shouldn't be upset about this.

This is his reward.

This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.

It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.

Look... look where that got her.

He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.

And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.

And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.

Kristen was promised to Helio, too.

And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.

He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.

I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'

(There's a part 2 now that the next ep is out >:3)

[catsharky]

The Joker comic I talked about is finally here!

I can't lie, I was pretty disappointed with how the reunion with Joker went in ME2. Out of all the characters, his should have been the most emotionally impactful (he saw Shepard die!!) yet all we got was "Sup?" as though Joker wouldn't have spent the 2 years dealing with insane survivor's guilt. Well to that I say pthhbt. My Shepard would have been beside herself seeing him again for the first time, so he's getting hugged whether he likes it or not.

Also while this is technically part of my ongoing Shakarian comic, please feel free to interpret this as romantic as well as platonic.

Part 1 • Previous Part • Interim Comic 2

[bellamysgriffin]

ULTIMATE SHIPS CHALLENGE - First Kisses [5/7]

[justaz]

thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”

[dxdfish]

what happened to him

[pixlokita]

Page 31 🐻✨

We got 80´s Tylenol in this house!

Previous - next - first

[ohtendril]

There was something heartbreaking in the way she was gazing at him, as if she might die if he didn’t kiss her. Not from heartbreak, not from embarrassment—it was almost as if she needed him for nourishment, to feed her soul, to fill her heart.

[uppoompat]

You're hitting on Fang? Right! We're already dating.

WE ARE (2024)

[ashiyn]

undefined

im sorry we got a what now

[fujii-draws]

Fear

[firehose118]

thinking about how tommy is uniquely positioned to help eddie in s8

under the watchful eye of catholicism, eddie would have been raised to believe in the nuclear family. this is the schema of family eddie has been trying to impose on himself and chris, at least in part because he feels like it's his fault that chris doesn't have a mother. he feels like their family is incomplete without a mother

whether eddie is actually straight or not, it's clear that he's chafing within the confines of this unexamined, prescribed, idealistic kind of heterosexuality. ryan guzman has said as much: eddie is trying to force the kinds of relationships with women that he feels like he's supposed to have, rather than ones that would actually make him happy

tommy spent decades in the closet; hiding both from himself and from the outside world. he had to come to terms with the reality of his desires and with the fact that he was not sexually or romantically attracted to women, no matter how hard he tried to force himself to be

tommy had to accept that the life that he grew up believing he would have—the one that he was told over and over again was the only acceptable way for him to live—was not a life that could ever make him happy. he is not what he thought he was supposed to be, but there's nothing wrong with that

now it's eddie's turn to learn this. he is trying with increasingly disastrous results to recreate 1:1 what he and chris had with shannon without remembering that it fell apart the first time—without allowing himself to remember how miserable he and shannon both were. eddie thinks he can force these relationships to work because he's done it before and he was happy. but he didn't, and he wasn't

maybe eddie is gay. maybe he's bi, maybe he's ace. maybe he really is straight and he just has a lot more work to do to disentangle his ideas of romantic partner and mother of my child from each other—to see a relationship as a partnership for himself rather than as payment for a debt he feels he owes to his son

eddie needs to stop getting into relationships based on guilt—based on obligation and what he thinks is the right or even the only thing to do—and start figuring out what he actually wants out of a relationship for himself

regardless of what, exactly, the writers decide eddie's core denial is going to be, tommy is the most qualified person to help him through it right now. tommy has been there. tommy knows how hard it is to date a woman who is perfectly lovely on paper and to just not be able to love her the way she deserves—because of him

tommy knows what it's like to feel broken because of this. and tommy knows what it's like to fight his way to the understanding that he is not

there was nothing wrong with tommy: he was just trying to force himself to be someone he is not because that's what was expected of him

there is nothing wrong with eddie: he is just trying to force himself to be someone he is not because he thinks that's what is expected of him

tommy can help eddie get there

[lunarcrown]

DUDEEEE UR MARTYN DESIGN?? HES SO PRETTY.

Pretty……TRAUMATIZED!!!! :D!!!!

(But also THANK UUU!)

[isan0rt]

Dedue's gameplay strengths and visual design centering around full-body plate armor and impenetrable defense as a metaphor for his guarded heart and repression of his emotional landscape to avoid further pain after his own unbearable losses; visual motifs of perfect physical defense representing his desire to seem equally impervious to the hatred and vitriol hurled at him everywhere he goes and to not show the haters that it affects him any more than the physical blows on the battlefield can penetrate his defense, is this anything.

[nowritingonthewall]

I’m sorry 🥺

[winterkov]

hey first actual post on this blog

it’s super fast and there’s a lot more going on so it’s hard to notice but. shoutout to simon gripping onto winter kings arm for support i thought it was cute