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wangxianficfinder · 29 days

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Fic Finder

Apr 12th

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1. For the ficfinder: In the last "In the mood for", no 8 reminded me of a fic but I cant recall the one. Wwx is travelling by himself, writing letters to LZ, he stays in a town and it ends up cursed. LZ and the juniors arrive to solve the case. Wwx is acting weird and hides his letters. The juniors read the letters and find out wwx is angry and full of resentment about how he's been treated. They find out the curse resonates from him. They talk it out to resolve matters. It was written really well. Any idea? @kesterling

FOUND! i found it myself, it kept bugging me. The fic is sadly deleted but on the wayback machine: Dock of the Bay by Haysel.

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2. Hi! This is for Fic Finder. All I remember is the ending, where Yu Ziyuan had her arms cut off, and that there was a part that mentioned that this was punishment enough as she would have to live her life with no pride. Also, she had an affair with Jin Guangshan, and Jiang Cheng was his child, and she had to become his concubine, I think. Hope someone knows which fic this is!

FOUND? sounds like the deleted "OOC!" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's avaiable on the wayback machine.

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3. Hi, once again.

I’m looking for a fic that I seriously can’t find, at all.

So it would really be a great help if you could.

Wwx was brought to cloud recesses for healing after madam yu had whipped him so bloody he couldn’t move and wa sin active danger of dying.

The disciples who brought him there did so on a donkey I think?

Anyway they asked LZ to please befriend Wwx.

The healers weren’t sure if Wwx would survive. He does.

And joins the lan, befriending LZ oh and he can’t fight with his sword anymore because of the damage and something about his heart having been weakened.

That is all I remember.

Have a nice day/night. @ravenwithwings

NOT FOUND!🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

FOUND! 🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

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4. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic I can't remember the name of, a modern AU, possibly set in the UK where lwj is part of some sort of anarchist/ community activist group and wwx joins. Most people in the group already know wwx and are reallly good friends with him but lwj is super skeptical about him. Also at some point I think wwx goes missing and lwj is super worried??? I can't remember anything else... thank you in advance🙏🙏🙏 @kavlobebeki

FOUND? now to begin the road by detectorist (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Light Angst, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Activism, Politics, Rooftop Conversations)

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5. Hi, I'm wondering if anyone else remembers a fic similar to leading tone by silencemostofall, and pastel by antebunny, but that's set in the canon era while they're at Cloud Recesses? A few details I remember was that the coloured mark that indicated Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship started to fade, and that Jiang Cheng was allowed home to celebrate his birthday, while Wei Wuxian's was completely ignored by the Jiang Sect and so he spent it drinking and was caught by Lan Wangji. Apologies that I don't have more! @flaxenhairedsamurai

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6. There was this fic on ao3 I don't remember, much, but it had this part, where lwj refused to go near his child(/children??) Because when wwx was pregnant he slowly grew ill or I dunno I think there was some complications (?) and when it was finally the time of delivery, wwx fell into coma I think. And lxc was angry with lwj for not even looking at his child / children when both wc were so excited for the baby.

There is a similar wx comic on Twitter. Can you please find both of them? The ao3 fic and the Twitter comic too please?

FOUND? I don’t know the Ao3 but I do know the comic similar to the description which made by AlasseTassir in twitter and they post it on their pixiv.

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7. A while back I found and lost 😥 a fic where WangXian, I think, were smuggling Wen Ning (and probably Wen Qing) across a border somewhere and they put a fake mustache on one of the two and people kept complimenting them on how nice it looked. I think people even copied the mustache after that? Maybe even the bad Wens? That's literally all I can remember about it. I've tried every tag I can think of and haven't been able to find it. Hopefully someone will know. TIA! @lilyinthesnow

FOUND! Bloom where you are planted by luckymoonly (M, 44k wangxian, MM/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix It, courting, Mpreg, Sunshot Campaign, Fluff, Happy Ending, getting together early, Romance, WWX giving birth in the middle of the war? Most likely than you think!, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Smut, Drama, Blood and Violence, Minor Character Death, There Is Only One Bed, No Fall of Lotus Pier, Crossdressing, Shotgun Wedding, Mention of miscarriage (not WWX), wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, Giving Birth, Soft granduncle LQR)

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8. hii i need help finding a fic. I remember it is ongoing it is a time travel one where wei ying travels back to the past decides not to join the jiang sect but to be rouge i remember he stole gold from the sects which made the economy go to shit the emperor got involved and disbanded the wen sect wei ying is now rich he is studying to pass some exams he has a nice house with a mini farm meets lan zhan and they fall in love and we find out from lan qiren that wei ying is a royal bc his father was a prince but he ran away to be a servant to the jiang sect and sometime near the last chapters the emperor gives permission to wangxian to marry and to take with him some princes and princesses to raise away from the palace. @wangxian4evermdzs

FOUND? Starting Over by SplitGirl28 (M, 69k, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Back to Childhood, Change his life, Different lifestyle, But WWX is still gifted genius, Unrestrained WWX, Living his ideal life)

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9. Hi all! 👋 I am so sorry to bother you if you’ve already found this fic but I’ve scoured across the internet all day and decided to go ahead and ask anyway! I’m looking for a fic that has Wei Ying being adopted into the Lan clan as a child, he was scared to be kicked out and became rather solemn and a perfect lan clan member, on the other hand Lan Zhan has grown to be shameless and flirts with Wei Ying every chance he gets. There’s also some Jiang Bashing, OCs, and maybe some time travel? Help🥹

FOUND? could be the deleted "Uno Reverse" by A_flower_in_the_snow. It's on the wayback machine.

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10. Hello!! I swear I just read it and now I can't find this fic- but it's supposed to be an AU where wwx stayed behind during Lotus Pier's attack and Madam Yu and JC escaped but wwx stayed to fight, and lwj heard wwx was missing and he rushes to help wwx and he runs in JC and JY also trying to save wwx? Thank you in advance!

FOUND? for as long as he will let me by RavenclawLoki (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt WWX, Love Confessions, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, BAMF JYL, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

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11. Hi, thanks so much for all your efforts!!

I’ve been looking for a fic and hope it hasn’t been deleted. Wei Ying, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli were mermaids but were also semi-amphibious? They could go on land for short periods and they helped fight the Wens during the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Ying is married off to Lan Zhan and he lives in the Cloud Recesses. Most of the story is centered around Wei Ying adjusting to his life on the surface amongst humans and navigating the relationship with his new husband.

FOUND? you’re a bird in the water / i’m a fish on the ground by plonk (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Merpeople, Canon Era)

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12. Hi, can you help me find a fic . The story goes somewhat like Lan Wangji was in a nighthunt and had taken shelter in an inn . There was a storm, and Wei Ying came to that inn seeking shelter with a few orphan kids . Those kids and Wei Ying were both from the same, and they escaped from being sold ? I think Wangji was a bit older than Wei Ying. Also, Wei Ying could use his cultivation powers without any medium like swords or instruments. 🙏

FOUND? ❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)

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13. Helppp! looking for a fic I read awhile ago and it just wont leave my mind, So basically Wangxian had an age gap LWJ was like 16 or 17 and WWX in his 20's but like "the cloud recesses" is some sort of mansion and the lotus siblings visit them in cloud recesses. I think it was tagged E if that helps

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14. Hi! For Fic Finder. Thank you very much for your help. There’s a fic I thought I bookmarked but can no longer find.

The first fic is a dark Lans fic set during the Cloud Recesses arc. WWX and JC are betrothed in this universe. But LWJ and WWX fall in love. LWJ manipulates the environment and JCs insecurities to break them up. I believe it’s in a two part series.

Thank you!

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15. Story of Yanxi Palace based fic. WY is the empress/consort who hides in a box from Sizhui. LZ knows he's inside the box, and as a prank/punishment, he uses the box to play a boardgames with Sizhui

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16. Hi! I really am looking for this story in AO3 and still can't find it. It was about Wei Wuxian who got married to Wen Chao but Lan Zhan couldn't take it so he plans to take Wei Wuxian back by claiming Wei Wuxian each time he got (even in the wedding night of WWX and WC) and destroying the company of the Wens. As they (LWJ & WWX) continued the deed, WWX ended up pregnant and LWJ is more than determined to take WWX back. I do hope you can help me find this story. Thank you in advance!😘 @gegegeeee

FOUND? 姻緣 | this marriage was always predestinedby saccharinings (E, 43k, wangxian, Cheating, Infidelity, not between wangxian, WWX is married and LWJ persuades him to cheat on his husband with him, Dark LWJ, A/B/O, Feminizing Language, Exhibitionism, Size Difference, WagnXian Have a Breeding Kink, Stomach Bulge, Possessive LWJ, Manipulation, WWX Wears Lingerie, Rape/Non-con Elements, for one part, Hair-pulling Kink, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mirror Sex, Vibrators, Phone Sex, Rimming, Edgeplay, slight choking kink, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, LJY’s Big Fat Crush on Milfxian, Pregnant WWX, WangXian Endgame, Spanish Translation)

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17. I'm looking for this fic that's basically a bunch of drabbles in one. Each chapter title is one word and serves as the theme for that chapter. I remember it having quite a lot of chapters, but I only remember one titled "kneeling" where Wuxian kneeled before Wangji (if you need a better picture, imagine that one scene in CQL where Wuxian kneeled and put his head on Yanli's lap in that one episode) @mindaneacc

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18. Hey, I'm looking for a fic where LZ and WY are already married and living in Gusu. But they get separated from each other due to an illness/curse going through the Wen Sect, so LZ leaves to give medical aid. In the process, he ends up adopting Wen Yuan. There is a sweet connection between WY and Lan Qiren. But most importantly Wen Qing managed to assassinate Wen Ruohan. @mother-of-pigeons

I remember 18, though I can't find it either. The sickness/curse in question made people burn from the inside; it was contagious from breathing in the ashes of the people dying. There was a honestly touching scene with Wen Chao dying while Wen Ning kept him company. Wen Qing assassinated WRH because she was treating him for the illness, for which they'd finally found the cure, and he announced that he therefore would use it as a weapon against the other sects, by deliberately infecting them and holding the cure hostage. The only ones they'd allow to have the cure are the Lans, because they're the only ones who came to help. He also intended to marry WQ, as he'd lost both his sons and needed new ones. I think it might have been part of a series, with the first part showing how WangXian got together.

FOUND!🔒Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by Titans_R_Us (T, 11k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Mutual Pining, Temporary Separation, BAMF WQ)

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19. Hello!! Here I am again looking for a wangxian fic. It's one that I read through here but never found again, anyway, the things I remember from the fic are: the sects transform into animals, being shapeshifters, the Lan are dragons like WWX, I also remember that the transfer of core occurred but the core has a mind of its own and it goes back to WWX's body, WWX faints and Wanji makes a soulmate connection... Those are the only things I remember!!

Note: I think Ao3 should have category filtering in our subscriptions, because I think I subscribed to the story but I already looked and couldn't find it... @sweettiebah

FOUND? sounds like "Revealed Truths Against Dragon's Fire" by Preludian_Staves. It's hidden on AO3 but avaiable on the waback machine.

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20. Hi! I'm looking for a fic with a red string of fate au where wwx jumps off the cliff, but has a moment of weakness when he looks at lwj and end up tying himself to lwj before dying... And when he wakes up he discovers lwj kept the string bc when he wakes up as mxy he can see it connecting him to lwj. He flees and tries to put as much distance as he can between them but lwj still finds him at dafan mountain... It's a multi chapter (I think) with a happy ending. Help please? 🥺

FOUND? 💖 a trail of blood to find your way back home by blackelement7 (T, 19k, wangxian, JC & WWX, what if a soulmate string au, but without the soulmates aspect of it, a reflection on the nature of marriage, WWX is full of regrets, so is LWJ, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, JC & WWX Reconciliation, JC is trying his best but words are hard and his brother is stupid, Siblings, Canonical Character Death, but it’s just WWX, accidental 3zun feels, WWX as the most unreliable of narrators)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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crying-fantasies · 7 months

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Terraformer Special Unit family

The terraformers squad Sunset is part of is practically a combination of the group of cadets on Top Gun: Maverick and the Mitchell family, in a few words: a horrible disaster in the making soon to auto combust, Sunset sadly inherited his dad's bad luck magnet genes and more times than not they are all into a life or death missions even when it wasn't supposed to be like that and try to survive with whatever they do, they end up going full MacGyver more times than not, if you ask, Mariah and Cloudjolt are the ones who have swiss army knifes.

Windblade gets such a headache and a attack to the spark when Sunset dials and tells her the details of the mission: "Infected?! By the cosmic rust?! How?! You were supposed to just look out the perimeter! What do you mean there are zombies?!" Chromia has to make her take a seat and let her ventilation system act before Windblade or any member of the Senate pops a circuit, and then take her axe while Ironhide charges his blaster to bring the kids and their Capitan back home.

No one says a word to Eminence, because she could start a war for her friends using every detail or omission in the intergalactic law, and she could win, but they don't have time or resources for new surrendered planets or more population, they are at their minds end.

So, Sunset is the leader, Blood Horn, little and intrepid murder machine, is second in command and Chainbreaker is the third in command before he goes to earth, later on Mayhem takes his place.

Who is in charge of this intrepid, and constantly in the verge of dying, squad? Well, let's say Astrotrain is busy keeping them alive, he is the Maverick of this group and also a very bad mouthed Rick Mitchell that is just so done with his situation and constantly asking himself what kind of spawn of a glitch put younglings on his care, why not call Springer? If he can with the Wreckers then he can also manage these kids (In the background Sabersky is laughing like a mad scientist with a explosion behind, the whole group screaming in pain or annoyance, oh ,the screams of the innocent passerbys).

There is so much he can take especially with Sunset being a magnet of bad luck and simping for his second in command ("How come that you're alive?!" "Natural talent?"), Blood Horn trying to fight beings twice her size with her bare servos ("Don't even think about it" "But-" "I said no"), Mayhem and his constant necessity to eat organic things ("Five seconds rule" "...You're so gross, kid..."), Mariah and her snob bullshit ("My designation is Black Mariah now" "It's the God-damned same thing!"), Cloudjolt trying to play and carry little things even when he is scaring aliens away with his sheer size ("Can I keep it?" "Let it go in this instance, that's this planet's king!"), even Sabersky, his old friend Blitzwing's sparkling, gets on his circuits everytime the son of a glitch tries to bug him on how he can change faster than him ("C'mon, old bot!" "You really are your sire's spawn")

Astrotrain does understand how the autobots got to "reproduce" with humans, frag, Soundwave has always been popular with human femmes and some males, but is still beyond his understanding how the Insecticons' original hive (he thinks Cloudjolt is Shrapnel's at least) and Blitzwing got their spikes wet and valves used with humans with all their shit, and he says it because he thought humans had basic standards, and one of those is apparently come and see their sparklings from time to time, Astrotrain still has to make a double take when Cloudjolt's human carrier comes to visit him with a horde of sparkmates that call themselves Cloudjolt's sires or when Rodimus (and his whole crew) come to see Sunset, it's not his fault Rodimus' doomed CNA got Sunset in the mess his life is and he tells the former Prime so when Sunset has a new injury, Bumblebee isn't thrilled to see Astrotrain be his little femme's teacher or whatever, no surprise there, and at least Jazz and his conjunx are decent (how did they get such a pain in the aft of a kid?), Soundwave still gives him the creeps when he is only there, standing, not saying a word but somehow communicating with Mayhem when they get a mission on earth and Mayhem's human creator only smiles while giving everyone energon goodies to share, Blitzwing laughs at his misery and Astrotrain can't understand what the human saw in his friend to sparkbond with Blitzwing and even giving him a sparkling.

Humans are strange creatures.

Astrotrain misses Chainbreaker, even with those organic creppy things the kid created creeping around the spaceship and the whole fact the kid was Prowl's at least he was the most sane and decent of the whole group.

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pavooko · 2 months

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— Farewell, oh Narmer…

So, I’d say it’s a may-I-present-to-you-my-post-narmer-au-ballas artwork

When The Man in The Wall appeared in front of the three figures on the platform of the mothership neither Lotus nor Tenno would be bothered by a sudden disappearance of the unconsciously lying body of The Golden Lord of Lies. That’s it. He was no more. Or wasn’t he?

Technically, The Golden Lord was truly no more. However, there was another one. Not “the” Ballas this world has known, but “a” Ballas.

Finding himself in the debris of the Plains of Eidolon after encountering the Void anomaly the Orokin manages to finally take off the veil. He was able to do it not due to his own power of will or some sort of other mind-strengthening things but because the veil simply didn’t show him anything. Just pure black darkness.

One can be influenced by the Narmer Veil as soon as it gets access to their memories, but what’s the sense of it when there are no particular memories in a head? Just some blurry images of the past of long-long times ago and some basic stuff as, for example, that fish cannot live without water or that The Man in The Wall is now well aware of his existence and the fact that he KNOWS the knife is held in the right hand and the fork goes to the left one.

This AU takes place not much later after the new war ending, when the threat of Narmer has already been suppressed but it is still possible to witness all the terrible aftermaths of this war and at the same time right after the Tenno’s mission with The Cavia on Deimos.

For them it was still such a strange thing to realize that Lotus didn’t remember even a tiny detail about the mysterious “Wally”. It could at least help them in some way.

Seeking for alternative ways of dealing with the eldritch abomination they soon find themselves on The Earth’s orbit looking at the blue-blue planet through the round porthole of their Orbiter. It was time to get down and look for some handy resources on the familiar plains and so Tenno decided not to waste their time and visit The Earth for another time.

That’s it. The Plains of Eidolon, a perfect place to find some abandoned and partially destroyed fragments of alien technologies which they liked a lot. The New War left its print on the Cetus’ surroundings as for now they were full of wrecked ships, weapons and war machines.

The only thing in that landscape was out. Something house-like on the top of another half-blown hill. Tenno, guided by curiosity, then comes closer, interested in what could be hidden behind the improvised fabric-made doors.

Their gun ready but there’s no one inside. Just some… more improvised interior furniture… pots, rare plants, looking poorly watered and half-dead because of the owner’s lack of knowledge in such an area as gardening. Oh, and yes, a pile of various technological pieces, gadgets and guns, taken straight away from the plains

And a Narmer Veil. The disgusting, bucket-like headpiece lying in the corner near something that could be a bed.

— Who of sound mind would even like to keep this thing like that…

Whispered Tenno, already planning to leave the house they were not invited in

— But of course exceptions exist anywhere! Even when it comes to keeping this funky thing undamaged. I heard locals hate these ones horrendously.

How reckless of Tenno it was not paying attention to the things happening around… panicking, they raised a gun with their trembling arms. Trembling from pure, firing fury.

— And you say i am difficult to get rid off-

They hiss in anger but only meet a shocked gaze of the pair of different-looking eyes. An illusion, another anomaly, could be… but the sensors show no alarm…

— I’m sorry, do we know each other?

Another strange question from a person, who, as Tenno thought, could answer any question existing with ease. How could that even be…?

— I think… just mixed up with a wrong person, i guess.

— Well then, let us get acquainted. Name’s Ballas.

He stretches out his ridiculously long arm, patiently waiting for a handshake as if nothing happened. Or maybe for him, the present him, nothing has happened indeed.

— Tenno.

Quickly answers the operator right before running out on the fresh air. They definitely need a few hours of free time to think and some cool wind to calm their aroused mind. All of these and not a handshake from a man who nearly destroyed everything they have ever loved for one more time. Even if he is not who he used to be. The handshake… yes, it will definitely wait. As well as that tall perplexed silhouette, whose strangely-looking sentient-like legs were still seen through the half-opened veil-door, tapping out some uncomplicated thuds as the un(known) man was still greatly confused about what had just happened

#warframe #warframe ballas #ballas #warframe fanart #warframe art #post narmer au

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wordsinhaled · 8 months

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so i was thinking more about the crowley/aziraphale pacific rim AU and i couldn't figure a way to stick them right in the middle of the action but i think that's okay because one of the best things about crowley and aziraphale is their "just some person"-ness anyway

i ended up with "if they just had a meetcute in the pacific rim universe what would that be like?" which. is not quite what i was imagining initially. but nevertheless? now this exists in my brain so y'all can be privy to this exceedingly handwavey scifi fluff

like, i don’t think aziraphale would ever step foot in a jaeger (can you imagine? i can't). but i think he could, in this AU, still own a bookshop, and have somewhat of a committed interest in cryptozoology. such that a.z. fell & co becomes sort of regionally renowned for its extensive cryptozoology section even before the kaiju wars. at first it's like a cult landmark but once the attacks begin it becomes something of a hotspot for information (much to aziraphale's dismay, because he still hates selling books)

crowley... i’m thinking. maybe he starts out in school studying astronomy. he's stoked about earthlike exoplanets. he gets to studying the conditions that permit life on earth, which leads him down the separate avenue of horticulture. he gets a rad little greenhouse going; propagating plants and all that.

(i don't know why plant nerd!crowley is just an natural arrow right to kaiju nerd!crowley to me but… something about it just makes sense in my brain. i mean, you know if humanity ever went off into space, crowley'd be the one responsible for preserving the seed library. but i digress.) the kaiju wars start, and crowley has a lightbulb moment, like, ohhh. they’re… fascinating? massive bloody efficient death machines, sure, but they’re cool, in the same way that carnivorous pitcher plants are cool. he's like, what questions can i ask about them??? answer: ask all the questions. and this leads him to aziraphale’s bookshop, of course

aziraphale’s got a sign up at this point, pointing out the cryptozoology section. he has a ton of people coming in asking about the topic, so he figured he’d make it easier for them to find, and subsequently be bothered less.

but no one else is as much of a regular. aziraphale learns, after the first few times he comes in, that his name is crowley—anthony crowley. it's because he asks if aziraphale can order increasingly specific books in, and he writes his name and phone number on a catalogue card so that he can call him when the books come in (...and if it's a ploy to give aziraphale his info… who's going to know?). aziraphale, for his part, wonders why crowley doesn't just use his university library, because anthony crowley is a graduate student. he's tall and rakish and bespectacled, with fiery hair and a serpent tattoo coiled around his wrist (aziraphale has no idea how far it goes after it disappears up his jacket sleeve, but the head of the serpent peeks out of his shirt collar sometimes, so aziraphale assumes it goes across his shoulder). he saunters about like he hasn't got a solid bone in his body. he has, apparently, a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the cosmos (which aziraphale is impressed by though he tries to be prim and reserved about it). occasionally, aziraphale hears crowley humming "flash" or "seven seas of rhye" from across the shop, and smiles to himself.

aziraphale doesn't know if crowley falls outside of his usual type, or if he's simply never come across anyone quite like him before, but he's finding himself becoming oddly attached. he tells his friend muriel about it over tea. "aziraphale," they tell him, "i think from what i've heard you're experiencing what they call a crush." (air quotes included.) "don't be ridiculous," aziraphale says. "i don't get crushes." (it's true, he's never had what one might traditionally call a crush. but so what? maybe he has one now)

crowley camps out in the stacks and writes notebooks full of spidery notes. once, he stays until past closing time, accidentally, and the next day he brings aziraphale a cup of english breakfast from the coffeeshop nearby, and a little pot of african violets as an apology. with a slightly sheepish grin, he says he grew the flowers himself. there's a little care card stuck into the soil, with more of his handwriting on it.

the violets bloom beautifully on the windowsill next to aziraphale's desk.

fast forward some indeterminate amount of time and now they actually spend time together.

maybe a kaiju came up the thames (i mean... listen. it could happen! if only just because it would be logistically fucking unhinged and the imagery of a kaiju rearing up out of the river while people are sitting on the london eye in the background is kind of great.) anyway, aziraphale had to impromptu barricade his bookshop and crowley was there too so they’re just. shut up in there with a handful of other customers until it’s safe to come out again. someone’s watching the live news coverage on their phone. crowley and aziraphale are sitting on the floor together between bookcases. a bit apart from everyone else, and passing crowley’s little flask of whisky back and forth. for fortitude, or whatever (fortitude against the kaiju threat, and not because they’re sitting next to someone they’re pining for, of course)

“y’ever thought about joining up?” crowley asks him eventually. aziraphale gives him a blank look. “you know.” there’s a metallic crash outside as if to prove crowley’s point. “the defense corps.”

“oh, heavens no. me, in a jaeger?”

“yeah—i suppose—nah, couldn’t see you doing it, now i think of it.”

“most certainly not.” the mouth of the flask is warm from crowley’s lips or maybe aziraphale’s imagining it. in any case he passes it back quickly. “you?”

“well… i’ve thought of it, sure. ‘course, it’d be k-science for me.”

“naturally.”

“oi! i could pilot a jaeger. if i wanted.” a pause. “what!”

“it’s only… well, it’d be a bit too slinky, wouldn’t it, with you piloting.”

“slinky!” mock indignation, giving way to curiosity, and circling back around to delight. “mister fell! have you been looking at my h—”

aziraphale steamrolls over the end of that sentence loudly. “it takes two, anyway, darling, as you well know. who would be your co-pilot?”

he resolutely doesn't contemplate crowley drifting with someone who isn't him. in this hypothetical scenario, which is never going to actually happen—

“you. obviously.”

(was it obvious?)

“but i would never—”

“yes, yeah, sure, mm-hmm. we’ve established that, aziraphale. i just figured we'd probably be... y'know. right?" they stare at each other for a moment before crowley barrels on. "anyway. just being silly, me. doesn't matter."

and why does crowley sound so tetchy and maudlin all of a sudden?

(narrator voice: crowley sounded tetchy because he had just been about to confess his feelings to aziraphale in the most roundabout way possible.)

anyway

maybe after this event crowley doesn't show his face in the bookshop again. aziraphale tries calling his number but his line's been disconnected. tries his level best not to pine for him and the next he hears of him is like, five years later when he's reading the newspaper one morning and sees an article on the oceanic monitoring operations going on in the pitcairn islands, and there's a photo of crowley grinning, dressed in a black turtleneck with the k-science logo on the chest, and he's quoted in the article, saying something about how he'd never have joined k-science if it hadn't been for a conversation he'd had with someone very important to him in a bookshop thousands of miles away what feels like a lifetime ago...

so aziraphale (madlad that he is, in any universe) is all, THIS. IS A SIGN and books himself a flight that very day

okay, and imagine their faces when aziraphale shows up on premises and crowley is all WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE (basically—picture his disbelieving grin, the one he wears every time aziraphale surprises him) and aziraphale is all "well, i saw you in the morning paper, didn't i?" and he's, staring at crowley, who's got his sleeves rolled up and gloves on and he's up to his forearms in radioactive-looking bioluminescent goo, and he's all "hang on, let me get these gloves off, this stuff'll eat straight through your clothes and i remember how much you love that waistcoat—" "you remember?" "...'course i remember."

*insert soppy looks here*

anyway, then they go on a dinner date, sushi and chilled sake, and crowley rambles on at aziraphale about kaiju gut microbiomes and how they harness radioactive phytoplankton to power their digestive system through nuclear fission (or whatever), and aziraphale tries very hard to focus more on his food than on crowley's wildly gesticulating hands

i could go on but essentially it's just... pining and fluff. fluff and pining. and enormous sea monsters from another dimension of course

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable pacific rim AU

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mentaly-british-biologist · 6 months

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TF2 PLAYABLE CAHARCTER LORE:

Okay, so just some context. Mann Co is a business organisation that runs most other companies in the world. Everything was shared equally between two brothers/heirs to the corporations power and money, apart from one thing in particular. A gravel pit.These two brothers, known as Redmond and Blutard Mann wanted to overachive and be better than one another, so decided to hire mercenaries to fight for this land. This original team, founded between 1800-1850's was comprised of Billy the Kid, Stonewall Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Alfred Nobel, John Henry, Nikola Tesla, Sigmund Freud, Davy Crockett, and Fu Manchu. They would take the roles of the mercinaries like so:

Scout: Billy the Kid (1859 - 1881)

Soldier: Stonewall Jackson (1824 - 1863)

Pyro: Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Demoman: Alfred Nobel (1833 - 1896)

Heavy: John Henry (Folk Hero)

Engineer: Nikola Tesla (1856 - 1943)

Medic: Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

Sniper: Davy Crockett (1786 - 1836)

Spy: Fu Manchu (Fictional Villain)

These people would battle with others with similar weapons, stature, and power until they would eventually get too old to fight.After this, the two brothers soon realised that they may die prematurely before the battle could end, so asked for personal commissioned machinery designed to keep them alive for longer. [[This will be elaborated in the plot later, this stuff is kinda important.]]Okay, now the old team is dead. Time for the new ones. 1930's mercs were probably the most advanced out of all of the mercs, with the 1850 mercenaries looking like they've been pulled off the streets to fight, and the 1970 mercs looking like a mix of the two old teams designs. Everyone has some sort of camo on them apart from their engineer, who possibly be Fred Conagher, the father of the Engineer we know and love. Fred Conhager, in particular, may be the same man who created the machines keeping the Mann brothers alive, but we are currently unsure. The next generation, and the one we know today is the 1970's team. This consists of:

Scout- Jeremy

Soldier- Jane Doe

Pyro- Unknown

Demoman- Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Heavy- Mikhail

Engineer- Dell Conagher

Medic- Mr. Ludwig

Sniper- Mick Mundy (Adoptive name)

Spy- Unknown

Along side them is Ms.Pauling and The Administrator. I'll list out characters as shown, one by one.

**SCOUT**

Full name is unknown, so we'll stick to Jeremy. He was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. He is the youngest of eight children, and so constantly looks for attention. Can't read, but can run extremely fast. Seems that a specific brand of fizzy drink, known as Atomic Bonk can make him much faster. Dies in the comics and goes to heaven, whete he is told he was God's gift to all women, and was sent back to earth to 'get laid' [[This is the comics words, not mine]]

Has a tattoo of tom jones with the words 'S€X BOM' on it [Told you he couldn't read] and is canonically Spy's son. Has a crush on Ms. Pauling.

**SOLDIER**

His name may not even be Jane Doe. Because those are USA and UK placeholder names for unidentifiable corpses. [[Jane Doe as a woman]] Is a God-fearing patriotic Midwest American. Despite his role in the team, he has not once been in a war situation. He just got to the frontlines in WW2 and started blowing up Germans. He has lead poisoning, although we're not sure if that's why he's like this, he is extremely aggressive and has a special move called 'rocket jumping' where he can fire a rocket at his feet, shooting him into the air. It doesn't hurt him however, because he doesn't think it will [[So stupid he bends nature's laws at will??!?!?]] He was also roommates with a wisard called Merasmus. Merasmus kicked him out, and tom jones became his new roommate.

Soldier kills tom jones. For no reason. Soldier is also in love with Heavy's sister, Zhanna.

**PYRO**

Whoo boy, this is a confusing one. We do not know Pyro's gender, where they're from, or even if they are a person. We do know that many characters refer to Pyro as he/him, but Soldier does have a suspicion that they might be a woman. He may be schizophrenic, or it could be their optical mask, but he sees the battle as a fluffy arena filled with unicorns and lollipops. However, they do have the capacity to be very much enraged, and cut off Soldier's hand once when in a car with Demoman and Ms. Pauling.

**DEMOMAN**

Drunk. Born in Ullapool, Scottland. His parents were Tilly DeGroot and her husband who we don't know , whom both are blind. Demoman was put up for adoption by them after being bad at blowing things up. He would eventually find a book called 'The Bomonicon' [[I hope i wrote that right]] with a mischievous spirit inside. Once he had opened the book, the spirit inside made it's way to his eye, haunting his eyesocket, and making him lose said eye. He then blows up his adoptive parents while trying to hunt for the loch ness monster, then gets taken back by his original parents. His mother keeps asking him to get a job, even though he makes 3 million+ a year. Loves alcohol. Like, really loves alcohol, so much so, that when he eats normal food, his body thinks it's been poisoned. After an extensive time away from alcohol, his body turns his stomach into a makeshift distillery, fermenting bone marrow into alcohol. This alcohol in particular is so strong, it gives blood-sucking robots [[Don't ask]] alcohol poisoning. Can also do something similar to Soldier by 'Stickybomb jumping' that also takes no damage, due to him being too drunk.

**HEAVY**

Heavy was born in Russia sometime around WW1. His father was an anti-revolutionary who opposed the Communist uprising, so he was executed and Heavy's family put in the gulag for three months before it was burnt down in 1941 and all the guards tortured to death. Yeah, you heard me right, the gulag. He has three sisters called Zhanna, Yana and Bronislava. His mothers name is currently unknown to us. His weight is the same as his HP: 300. He is quite a nice guy when it comes to his teammates and gives even more affection to his guns, who of one he has a case at the end of his bed for. This gun in particular is named Sasha, of which he is very possessive and which weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom-tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. He also reveals that it costs $400,000 to fire his weapon for 12 seconds. Heavy has named all of his primary weapons, basic Minigun being Sasha, Tomislav being Svetlana, Brass Beast being Oksana and Huo Long Heater being Sheila. He was also the first in the team to have the experimental ubercharge operation and survive, making him bulletproof. Also sandvich.

**ENGINEER**

Known as Dell Conagher, this man has eleven PhD's. Yes, you read that right. ELEVEN. He was born in Bee Cave, Texas, USA, and may or may not be related to one of the previous mercinaries in the classic team. Apart from this, he has created machines like teleporters [[Don't put bread in them]], sentries, and dispensers that he can place around the battlefield to help his team. He is friends with Pyro, and seems to understand them, despite their speech being muffled. One of the only few to help The Administrator with her Australium-Age related problem, and answered the phone for her when she died once.

**MEDIC**

Okay, this will be too long if I go into detail. This is quickfire. Mr. Ludwig was born in Stuttgart, Germany and has little regard for the Hippocratic Oath. He is insane. He loves doves, especially his most beloved one, Archimedes. Managed to get into contact with the devil and made a deal that would cost his soul. We do not know what he had sold his soul for, but the chances it was for his medical 'discoveries' is quite high. Managed to steal an entire skeleton and got away. Lost his medical licence soon after this. While giving his teammates surgeries, stole all of their souls and surgically added them to his own soul. During a Halloween party, he was caught off gaurd by a mugger. After knocking him out, he then put the muggers brain in a pumpkin.This would later help him out. Re-hired to aid the 1930 Classic team for a new leader, *Grey Mann*. When sniper was shot down by the classic's heavy, he brought him back to life an hour later with the help of a blue whale's pineal gland directly into his brain stem. The entire surgery cost about 1.3 billion dollars. Classic heavy, after seeing this, crushes his favourite dove, Archimedes. He also brings his bird back to life. After this, classic heavy and Medic get into a fight. Heavy shows up, only for classic heavy to shoot Ludwig twice in the chest. After quickly swindling the devil by giving him another soul for a pen, he comes back to life, and then pretends it is an inducer that would make classic heavy give birth to three healthy baby baboons, due to the three baboon uterus's he had placed inside him during a surgery [[I'm confused too, don't worry]] Classic heavy belives the bluff, giving Heavy enough time to take him down. after that, he takes out the real inducer and claims that the human body could only generate two at the most.

**SNIPER**

He is Australian.

Except, he isn't. He's a New Zealander.

New Zealand is Atlantis btw.

His adoptive name is Mick Mundy, although his real first name is Mun-dee, like his real mother and father, Bil-Bel and Lar-nah, making his real name Mun-dee Mundy. New Zealand is underwater due to the fact that the geniuses wanted to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. After being shot out of the country in a Krypton-Superman-Spacepod style fashion, he is adopted by Jonathan Mundy and his wife Mrs. Mundy in Australia. He then becomes skilled in shooting from afar. In the most previous comic, he dies. Medic brings him back to life, and he immediately attacks him, asking why he was the last person he saw before bleeding out. Yeah, he also pees in a jar and throws it at people as a weapon, so... yeah. Also, golf trophy.

**SPY**

Not much is really known about his past but all that is known is that he was born in France in an unknown region. It's a mystery on how he became a master spy and a master of disguise as no one knows if someone trained him or he rather he trained himself. We do know however, that he is Scout's father. He seems to hate everyone and everything, and may or may not have lung cancer due to how many cigarettes he smokes. He is snarky, witty, and cocky, some of these traits are shared with Scout also. He got shot in the kneecaps when a plan in the latest comic, and Sniper saved him by shooting the guy who did it. He also disguised as Tom Jones when Scout was dying, and for the first time, directly called him son. He wears a custom tailored Louis Crabbermaché suit, is valued at $10,000, and has his own smoking room within the base.

I made this all in the Undertale server. Don't ask.

This took me three days to do.

#team fortress two #tf2 #tf2 lore #tf2 pyro #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 sniper #tf2 soldier #THIS TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO WRITE DOWN GIVE ME LIKES OR ELSE

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theputterer · 8 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

tagged by my friend @fortysevenswrites

this order is somewhat loose, it changes depending on my Mood.

gray areas

Gray, in all its varieties, serves as a perfect understanding of who Cassian Andor is. Gray gives Cassian Andor’s life meaning. It colors it, entirely. The life of Cassian Andor, from the ice-covered mountains of Fest, to the white sand beaches of Scarif, and all the gray areas in between.

to the surprise of absolutely fucking no one, gray areas continues to be my beloved, the first fic I posted and the OG Nonsense. while I don't think the prose is particularly noteworthy (some of it is quite good but you can also tell I was Possessed and just banging out the chapters like a machine), I'm still very proud of the plot and themes I managed to drag out of it. I am obsessed with the idea of the narrative explicitly telling you what is going to happen even while the character(s) don't know, and that happens a lot in this. (there is no way to change the ending). I think the original characters in this are also interesting, particularly Asori, Nerezza, and Taraja; and Zeferino, who many readers were stunningly fond of, lol. when I wrote it in 2016/2017 it was still in line with the "canon" backstory, something I did put some effort in. Andor has absolutely shut the door on that one but I think the story still holds up as an alternate take on what Cassian Andor's backstory could have been.

2. to meet beyond shadows

Five years after the Battle of Crait, the Resistance wages a fierce war against the First Order. Jedi Master Ben Organa-Solo guides the New Jedi Order in the war, and their fight against Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and his Knights. But there are evils waiting to be awakened. Words that must be said. Myths that must be realized. Brothers that must be confronted. The end is near. [Or: Ben Solo is not the one who becomes Kylo Ren, in this full TROS AU/rewrite.]

I return to this series a lot, my Sequel Trilogy AU in which Leia and Han had identical twin sons, expanding on the twin themes present thru Star Wars (literal twins but also metaphorical twins, good and evil, light and dark etc). one of them goes the Kylo Ren route while the other does not. my take on Kylo in the Sequel Trilogy is that he never had a chance with the uniqueness he couldn't help, and that he inherited all the worst traits of the Skywalkers, so it was fun to explore what might have happened if he had a brother who was his mirror, a brother who was the best of the Skywalkers yet loved him unconditionally still. I wrote a lot about brothers on opposite sides who still loved each other so desperately in the Nonsense, and this series built on that foundation. (Local Woman Who Is Not A Brother Constantly Writes About Brothers). Ben has a really great arc in this series that's one of the finest character arcs I've ever done, if not THE finest. and I so treasured the way multiple readers came to sympathize and understand Bail/Kylo and his ultimate ending, a character who was never interested in redemption but sort of stumbled into it anyway. this last story in the series is the biggest departure from the Sequel Trilogy as a whole (the other two mostly followed TFA and TLJ) and I think it's very good. I love the plot, the Old EU lore I borrowed from, the tragedy and the euphoria, seeing the end coming and being powerless to stop it, and the ultimate messages it shared. **chef's kiss** [my gravestone will probably read something like "here lies theputterer who died as she lived; trying to get people to read her Sequel Trilogy AU"] [honestly this fic might be the best I've ever written, at least Technically speaking]

3. death trembles to take us

Jyn has walked the Earth for over four thousand years, leading a team of warriors. They’ve fought in hundreds of battles, and died hundreds of times, returning to take up their weapons and fight again. They choose to fight for what they believe in, as the world turns and changes around them. But in Juba, they encounter an existential threat, one they have never seen before. And meanwhile, on the other side of the world, an assassin dies on a city street, only to rise again. [A THE OLD GUARD au]

the little story that could! a very self-indulgent AU that got such a lovely and gratifying response from the fandom(s). (special shoutout to the SEVERAL readers who gave this fic a shot even tho they'd never seen The Old Guard and/or didn't care for it lol). I am quite proud of it. it was fun to explore history and come up with backstories for the Rogue One gang that still meshed with what we know of them in canon. I like the themes and messages the story delivered. I would also be deeply remiss in not Once Again thanking @rifle-yes for the support and enthusiasm. at least half of the readers of this fic were drawn to it thanks to their efforts. I also don't think I would have attempted my Fringe AU without the readers of this story.

4. Lady Lazarus

A woman dies in Venice. That’s how the story goes. It’s very important they follow where the story goes. Where it’s supposed to go.

listen. I was also very surprised. I watched the Mission: Impossible movies for the first time this summer and totally fell in love with Ilsa Faust, this very cool and interesting spy with somewhat fluid loyalties. also the movies fucking rule. go see Dead Reckoning: Part One while it's still in theaters. as a known connoisseur of the Tragic Love Story, I ate that shit up and wrote a speculative story/ character study exploring Ilsa in the movie. prayer circle it becomes correct. I like the flow of this fic and the prose of it is quite nice and also all the resurrection bits. Rebecca Ferguson forever!!!

5. a ghost story

He looked at Fima. “The shadow; the man. What did he look like?” Fima swallowed, and Cassian did not like the way his son was looking at him, with something akin to wariness, something close to fear. “Like you.” [Or: a ghost story about fathers, sons, and the trauma of abandonment.]

I think all of my little short stories in the Nonsense Expanded Universe are nice and so this last spot could be interchangeable. but I am very fond of a ghost story, in that it is sweet and tragic and allows Cassian a bit of understanding with who Gabriel was, something he desperately needed and was very much paling in comparison to all he came to know about Serafima. also ghosts/hauntings are very fun.

tagging: @rifle-yes, @callioope @vaderkat @alecjmarsh and anyone else who wants to give it a shot!

#writing #my writing #my fic #personal #it remains very funny how i will go to bat for my fics any day of the week #but getting me to praise or even look at my original stories sends me into the ocean

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the-lady-general · 11 months

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Strange New World's Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Warhammer 40,000, the musical [audio not found].

This is from a lovely and very, very thinky Discord conversation. Thank you, guys! There's more thoughts I need to get out of my head, specifically because I've hit my personal limit of what I think the Federation can get away with as a utopia, and also because I didn't want to bore a server full of trekkies with my 40k thoughts.

TLDR: I've often said that when the fridge logic hits, ENT becomes better than what the writers intended. I think SNW has the opposite problem: When the fridge logic hits, it hits me with a spiky baseball bat. Everything I didn't like is under the cut, don't go there if you want to avoid it.

Here's the intro to the Eisenhorn omnibus, the oldest Black Library book I could reach on my shelf. I'll quickly transcribe the parts I've highlighted, explain what I love about it, and then I'll get right back to what it has to do with Strange New Worlds.

===

"For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. [...] He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die. [...] But for all their multitudes, [the vast armies of the Imperium] are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants -- and worse. To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruellest and most bloody regime imaginable. [...] Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war."

===

Fun Fact: This is where "grimdark" in speculative fiction comes from! Thanks, The General Situation of Northern England in the mid-80s!

So, it all starts with a soul-eating machine. The soul-eating machine kills ~ 1,000 people per day. It is the only way in which humans get to go faster than light, because the not-quite-corpse and soul-eating machine arrangement is basically a lighthouse for hyperspace.

The Imperium is living in the shadow of a great, bright, and optimistic past. It came out of an advanced civilisation that had gone through many destructive wars on Earth. The Emperor was a man of science and reason and wanted humanity to live in prosperity, unhindered by wars or prejudice. He abolished religion in favour of humanism. He wanted to build a utopia for all mankind. Absolute dogshit parent though.

Ultimately, he built the soul-eating machine to justify the utopia, and when he wasn't in a position to object, his successors strapped him in and slapped the go button. Utopia postponed, blame those damn heretics/mutants/aliens.

That was the decision that led to the grim dark future without escape. Do you dare *not* fed the soul-eating machine? Do you dare unplug the not-quite-corpse? It's how it has always been. It could be worse. It's every single wrong one human could possibly inflict on another for everyone, for ever. It could be worse. It'll never get better. It steadily gets worse. It could be worse. It's always two minutes to midnight and no sacrifice ever stopped the clock from ticking. It could be so much worse without the soul-eating machine.

It is unbearably bad.

By contrast, here is an excerpt from the Charter of the United Federation of Planets, as seen on Voyager (or Memory Alpha in my case):

===

"We the lifeforms of the United Federation of Planets determined to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, and to reaffirm faith in the fundamental rights of sentient beings, in the dignity and worth of all lifeforms, in the equal rights of members of planetary systems large and small, …"

===

So Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow had a Starfleet security officer who was ready to sacrifice her career only two episodes ago in order to reunite a little girl with her parents. She goes back in time to stop an unknown event that leads to the destruction of Earth. She is confronted with baby Hitler who lives in a vague yet menacing government(?) bunker in Toronto and tells him he is *exactly* where he needs to be.

*record scratch* Sorry. That was a bit flippant. So again, from the top:

La'an travels back in time, with Sam Kirk's brother from a different timeline. She is reluctant to open up to him because of her family trauma (separate & discrete from her childhood trauma), but notorious charmer James T. Kirk (from the USS Iowa, not to be confused with James T. Kirk from Iowa, US) helps her out of her shell. They realise that someone is trying to prevent the Eugenics Wars, having already successfully delayed them until 2023. Deciding that the Eugenics Wars were the one and only factor that led to the United Federation of Planets, La'an and Kirk then decide that they must make sure the Eugenics Wars happen at any cost.

(They do not know that the one and only factor leading to the formation of the United Federation of Planets were the Vulcans witnessing humanity's first FTL flight, nor that Zefram Cochrane was motivated by greed to build the warp 1 engine.)

They find Khan Noonien-Singh in the secret Toronto bunker of the Noonien-Singh Institute, a vague yet menacing organisition with unspecified goals. Khan expects La'an to kill him, but instead she hugs him, tells him he is exactly where he needs to be and leaves him alone in his bunker slash prison question mark.

*record scratch* I mean, La'an goes through quite some emotional distress once she realises that the fate of humanity and all Federation members rests on her shoulders, and that restoring the Iowa, US timeline means killing Kirk from the USS Iowa timeline (and, presumably, everyone else from that timeline, but we're not worried about them).

(They're not aware that there is already an alternate timeline in which James T. Kirk was born on a spaceship that is happily co-existing with the Iowa, US timeline).

La'an is even further distressed when she is faced with the choice of killing Khan and preventing the Eugenics Wars and WWIII, but realises that she can absolutely not kill an innocent child. She tells the innocent child he is exactly where he is supposed to be before leaving him with a loaded gun in a top secret, vague yet menacing bunker in a room that would be declared unfit as a human habitat BY THE UK because it doesn't even have a window.

*record scratch* I mean, La'an saves baby Hitler, gives him a weapon and a justification for starting the bloodiest and most destructive wars in Earth history, and she is expressly forbidden from seeing a counsellor about this at the end of the episode.

*record scratch* I mean, a Starfleet security officer leaves seven children too young to make their own healthcare decisions to be genetically manipulated by a vague yet menacing government(?) organisation. The fact that this is to bring about the bloodiest wars in Earth history makes this better, somehow.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow says that the only way in which the United Federation of Planets can exist is by soul-eating machine. It postulates that suffering must act as the catalyst for the utopia. I find that horrifying. I already found it horrifying when Gerne it.

But this is the second time SNW has strapped a child into the soul-eating machine. Except this time, were strapping *seven* children into the soul-eating machine, and we're not even asking them for consent, let alone informed consent.

This is framed as utterly vital.

It is unbearably bad.

If the Federation can *only* exist if its defenders are ready (if unwilling) to feed children into the soul-eating machine, then it cannot be worth it. If the condition for utopia is the suffering and deaths of millions it *cannot* be worth it. It'll endlessly retread what it has always done, it'll swing from one sacrifice to the next, it'll keep shifting who constitues an acceptable sacrifice, and 10,000 years down the line they'll look at their not-quite-corpse steering a soul-eating machine and wonder where it all went wrong.

The Federation is about the dignity and worth of all sentient life. Everything else must be in service to that.

Don't we already live in a utopian world that builds it's utopia for a few billionaires on the suffering of the many? Does the story about the post-scarcity utopia really have to haggle the ratio in favour of the many instead of going balls to the wall UTOPIA FOR EVERYONE YES EVEN THOSE PEOPLE? Star Trek is the setting that *should* save everybody! Even those people!

Fuck the soul-eating Federation. It's dignity and respect for ALL life or it's self-righteous garbage.

#the lady general rambles #this is very much a don't like don't read situation #snw spoilers #this is one thing in an otherwise entertaining episode i got really hung up on #it's so minor in what the episode sets out to do but it's an absolute deal breaker for me #fuck the eugenics wars. trek doesn't need some cosmic balance. people can just decide *i want to live on a utopia. let's build it*#that's when trek is at its most hopeful for me: *you can do good things without a reason & the world will be better for it*

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iiyanadesu · 1 month

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I just watched Gundam Seed Freedom! This is a movie full of cringe and fun(ny) moments lmao.

If you need tiny spoilers (which is kinda big too but eh): The movie is set in C.E. 73, i.e. about a year or two after events in Gundam Seed Destiny. A new group called the Foundation tries to pursue the Destiny Plan made by late PLANT Chairman Gilbert Dullindal. Shenanigans ensue.

Major spoil points and rants under cut.

Being a former fan of Gundam Seed, who is more into the people than the machines, I find this movie delightful. And cringe. And fun. Basic plot is still about war, destroying lives whether soldiers or civilians, groups protecting their loved ones, etc. Back then I was a fujoshi (maybe I still am) so the interactions I love the most are between main character Kira Yamato (first name last name basis) and his best friend Athrun Zala.

I was Athrun's fan.

For those who are curious, Gundam Seed series is about war between 2 factions of humanity: one is genetically-enhanced human beings called the Coordinators based in space (the base is called PLANT, the military is called ZAFT), and the other is non-genetically-enhanced Naturals based on Earth (military is called... Earth-something, I forgot). At first the war is just between these two factions, and Kira and Athrun were on opposite sides despite both being Coordinators (Kira was with Earth military, Athrun was with ZAFT), but as time goes they end up defecting from their military groups to form a third party wanting peace between both races.

SEED is a special trait that some Coordinators have; they become basically invincible in battles. It's like The Zone. SEED mode.

Enough for the introduction. Let's go!

1. The movie is set in C.E. 73 (C.E. means Cosmic Era). Like I said earlier, a group called the Foundation is trying to follow the Destiny Plan made by late Gilbert Dullindal.

2. What is Destiny Plan? Destiny Plan is a... idk, doctrine? Not sure. An order to assign each and every person in the world different jobs based on their genetics. But it's one-sided; Coordinators are genetically enhanced in everything (looks, intelligence, battle prowess) so they will surely get good jobs while Naturals may or may not get good ones. So battle-powerful Kira and Athrun, and their politically-powerful girlfriends Lacus Clyne and Cagalli Yula Athha, join forces to stop that plan.

3. A year later, Lacus is appointed Chairman of PLANT. Cagalli is the Prime Minister of Orb Nation. Together with a few other countries, they form an alliance called... I forgot lol

4. A new nation called Foundation ruled by Queen Aura wants to join forces with the alliance. However it's a trap; they wanted to lure Lacus away from the alliance. Their plan caused the relationship between Kira and Lacus to waver.

5. Add to it a lil b*tch called Agnes also likes Kira, and since Kira is a non-confrontational person Agnes attacks him with words, saying Lacus is not suited with him. This b*tch knows nothing, but maybe because Kira hasn't really said "I love you" to Lacus that he's kinda... shaken? What

6. Ok there's a former enemy-turned-follower named Shinn Asuka and his girlfriend(?) Lunamaria Hawke. They are both ZAFT soldiers. Shinn used to hate Kira so much because he thought Kira killed his ex-girlfriend Stellar Loussier (an Earth soldier). Turned out Kira was trying to stop Stellar from rampaging; her death was unintentional. This info is important later on.

7. The Foundation has a battle team called the Black.. Uh, whatever and know Agnes the... uh, Moonlight Valkyrie (err...). They tried to engage in swordfight with Kira, but Kira isn't very proficient in swordfight (he was a civilian thrown into war because of his mecha programming skills). So Shinn (a trained soldier) offers to do it on Kira's stead, and lasts for a while before defeated.

8. The Foundation's Prime Minister, whose full name I already forgot, only remembering Tao, kinda fell for Lacus. So this Tao guy somehow managed to insert himself into Lacus' memories, saying that he's more fitting with her instead of Kira. Drama ensues. It was super cringe I went 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Turned out that Tao has some ulterior motives with Lacus. Apparently Lacus and Tao are both created by Queen Aura. They are a race more superior than the Coordinator: the Honda Accordion 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Ok, they call themselves the Accords.

10. The Accords have the ability to hack into a Coordinator's mind and control them. They can also use telepathy. So they managed to hack Kira's mind, causing him to stray from his supposed mission, leading to the Black Ops thingy to launch nuclear missiles against civilians and the entire alliance's battleforce in an attempt to frame Kira of massacre.

11. Oh, I didn't mention before, but the alliance's battleforce consists of Kira and Athrun's friends. They're called the Archangel based on the ship they work on, but the Archangel is damaged from the chaos.

12. Kira is almost killed by the Black Ops before a saviour arrives: Athrun! I was squealing happily when he appeared lmao Athrun rescued Kira.

13. Lacus boarded the Foundation's ship, so when she heard Kira went rampage she did not believe. Tao wanted Kira dead. When they heard the alliance got obliterated in the nuclear missile attack, Lacus passed out. Meanwhile, b*tch was picked up by the Black Ops; Kira's rejection was too much for her to handle that she defected. Damn b*tch.

14. Kira was all gloomy and told his team he was entirely at fault for not being strong enough, and rambled on and on (it was cringe to hear it really, I was already wishing for Athrun to slap some sense into him) and Athrun went and punched him. lmaoooooo gj Athrun 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Athrun was super annoyed - just tell us what you want, we can help you out, you're not fighting alone damn it! Kira said he wanted to talk to Lacus.

15. With most of their machines destroyed, Team Archangel had to resort to stealing ZAFT's ship the Millennium. But not only the Millennium's captain is super cool with it, they also provided Gundams! Shinn is happy to get his Destiny back (it was damaged in the battle against Kira in the last war), Kira gets his Strike Freedom Gundam repaired, Lunamaria gets Impulse, while the war-seasoned Athrun gets... a red Zaku. (Athrun is infamous for having destroyed all his Gundams - Saviour, Justice, Infinite Justice... 😂🤣😂🤣)

16. But even then they deploy a trap. Athrun uses Strike Freedom to bait the Foundation into thinking it's Kira. Kira uses a machine with transparent ability to sneak in. (After Kira successfully retrieved Lacus, they swapped places.)

17. Ok lalala, battle ensues. One of the Black Ops member Sh.. forgot his name, let's call him Shalala engaged against Athrun and tries to hack into his mind, but Athrun imagined Cagalli naked, trying to kiss him 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 Apparently Shalala has no love experience and was caught off-guard lmao (Meanwhile, Cagalli who is remote-controlling Athrun's Zaku be like "wtf Athrun??? ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄")

18. One of the other Black Ops members tried to hack into Shinn's mind, but Shinn's mind was protected by Stellar's spirit, who turned into a monster 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 The Black Ops were like, "omg this kid's darkness is so intense!" But Shinn is like, "???" Stay that way, Shinn.

19. After taking Lacus back into Millennium, Lacus asks Captain Murrue to let her send Strike Freedom's METEOR set to Kira personally. But. Her suit was too skintight unlike other girls who have some kind of paddings; you can practically see her boobs and butt cleavages wtf is with that design. Who designed that suit? It's cringe af.

20. Strike Freedom with METEOR controlled by both Kira and Lacus in SEED mode is freaking OP. Enough said. Befitting of Kira's nickname J*sus-kun.

21. Not said before, but now I'm saying it: the whole war is the Millennium team trying to stop the Foundation from attacking Orb Nation using the all-powerful, formerly ZAFT's super cannon, the Requiem.

22. T.M. Revolution's METEOR plays during the entire Strike Freedom + METEOR entrance. Nostalgic. I forgot part of the lyrics, but I still sang along.

23. Once war ended, Kira and Lacus strip themselves naked standing on the beach, holding hands and kissing. I was like, "What the hey?? Yameteeeeee" (at them being stark naked) These kids are not afraid of getting sand onto their bodies and genitals I guess ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

24. There are no mid or post-credit scenes.

25. And yeah the ending is that the entire Foundation team dies, Team Millennium and Orb Nation won, Kira and Lacus both frolicking stark naked at the beach. Oh yeah, b*tch was disarmed by Lunamaria for insulting Shinn. The end lmao

26. Bonus: Kira still loves belts.

27. Bonus 2: Athrun is in serious need of a fashion coordinator. He can pull off uniforms, but casual clothes... err...

28. There's a cameo of this one-eyed guy from Gundam Seed. I forgot his name, but what I do remember is that he used to have a girlfriend named Aisha. Why I remember non-plot details but can't even remember the main enemies' names is beyond me lol

30. Missing info: At one point Tao was pissed because he wanted Lacus but Lacus loves Kira, so he almost SA'd her. (Pushed her onto bed and slid hand trying to rip her dress.) Luckily Tao was distracted with the news that Kira is still alive and is coming at him, so Tao stopped and went to stop Kira from approaching base.

#gundam seed freedom spoilers #gundam seed freedom #gundam seed #gundam seed spoilers

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debunkingtherightwing · 3 months

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The profound laziness of Dave Rubin

No, but you posting a video about it for clicks is. (source: Rubin Report on YouTube)

Dave Rubin is a pretty regular source of truly insane and stupid takes and today is no exception. This was the episode he put out on January 31st and as usual it breaks new ground in the realm of stupidity. Lets get into it.

Dave starts off by declaring the theme of todays episode, or lack thereof.

01:24, Dave Rubin: "The theme of todays show is there's an awful lot happening in the world right now. This WW3 situation seems like it's ramping up a bit. I'm gonna try to cool the jets as everyone loves talking about 'Oh my god WW3 is happening and oh my god the civil war is happening and oh my god the alien invasion is happening.' Sometimes, maybe we can have some calmer heads prevail so we'll do a little bit of that. But what I wanted to start with that'll kind of prime everything is that Jon Stewart-"

Brief pause, so what's the theme? If the theme is WW3 related stuff, how on earth is Jon Stewart even remotely related to that?

01:51, Dave Rubin: "Jon Stewart, I guess former comedian. I don't know what we call him at this point, he's basically a progressive activist now."

"Yeah, imagine being a former comedian who became a political activist. Man, I can't even imagine. That's so sick."

First of all, the sheer lack of self awareness is stunning. Second of all, watch that video in full if you want to get an idea of the sheer lack of talent that Dave brings to the table. It's three minutes of Dave being a complete moron constantly trying to do crowd work and getting absolutely no laughs out of anyone.

02:18, Dave Rubin: "Jon Stewart left the Daily Show, what was it? About six years or so ago. Ends up bringing a new show, The Problem With Jon Stewart onto Apple TV and he just goes all in on the crazy leftism."

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily Show for a limited time and Dave Rubin isn't gonna take it! He's only hosting on Monday nights to cover things related to the election cycle.

Jon Stewart was always a pretty big leftist. Here's him absolutely demolishing fellow blog favorite Tucker Carlson all the way back in 2004. I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy in Dave's coverage of Jon. Jon also stood up for his free speech, something that Dave should love, by walking away from his show on Apple TV when they told him he couldn't talk about AI and China.

Dave doesn't even understand the most basic facts about this story...like the fact that Jon isn't the only person hosting the Daily Show or the fact that they are making more than the Monday episode.

02:30, Dave Rubin: "But the machine is bringing him back now, putting him back at the Daily Show at the chair on a weekly show not a daily show. So the Daily Show's going to weekly, alright they're going to struggle with that."

Here's what happened, Dave read some headline somewhere about Jon Stewart returning to the Daily Show and instead of trying to learn the facts about the story that he's trying to cover, he just barged in and started talking about it on his show.

If Dave actually read about what he's trying to talk about the subject he's talking about, he'd know that Jon is only hosting on Monday’s and that other people are hosting the show on all the other days of the week. It's also only for the election cycle.

Dave plays some clips of CBS for him to react to.

03:36, Dave Rubin: "We're doing PR, we're owned by the same people and we have to tell you he's really great. Yeah, ok! So you guys get how the whole machine works, right? There's no reason for CBS News to be covering that on their nightly news program."

At the end of the clip he plays, the reporter discloses that CBS and Comedy Central are both owned by Paramount, in short disclosing the conflict of interest. Should they have maybe not covered this? Yeah, I wouldn't have because it's a conflict of interest. But they did disclose it.

03:51, Dave Rubin: "And the damn shame about Jon Stewart and we'll illustrate this in just a moment is that at least for the first couple of years at the Daily Show he was doing something kind of new and poking and prodding at the media the way I kinda do on this show."

Dave Rubin and Jon Stewart have one key difference; Jon is funny and insightful and Dave is well....Dave.

04:07, Dave Rubin: "He's sort of gone off the deep end, or I don't even need to qualify that, he has completely gone off the deep end when it comes to progressive politics and I would say become everything that he probably once despised."

Just to recap some of Dave's career; Dave started off at the Young Turks, a progressive news outlet, and ended up starting a conservative news show after leaving the Young Turks. His sudden pivot to conservativism coincidentally dovetailed with receiving money from the Koch Brothers.

So who has became everything they once despised here?

Dave plays a clip of Jon confronting a Republican attorney general about gender affirming care for minors. If I were Dave I really wouldn't have played that clip as Jon does a really good job dismantling the Attorney Generals arguments. Dave does cut the clip and this was his takeaway.

06:51, Dave Rubin: "And it goes on and on, what an absolutely smug unlikeable person he became for the cool one million plus per episode he was making on that now defunct show."

More of Dave describing himself. Seriously, take some time to watch a Dave Rubin episode if you have time. He talks in this really slow and condescending way that's near unbearable to listen to.

07:10, Dave Rubin: "Jon Stewart, if you are watching this you might want to read Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier, thank you, who wrote an incredible book about how so much of what's happening to our children is a social contagion. Particularly when it comes to young girls thinking they can transition and become young boys."

Abigail Shrier is one of those right-wing grifters who has made a cottage industry of spreading misinformation about transgender youth. Blog favorite and professional sociopath Matt Walsh is another example of that. Shriers book is filled with massive amounts of misinformation and outright falsehoods.

Also, the idea of Jon Stewart even knowing of Dave Rubin's existence is laughable. You just know if Jon stepped foot on Dave's set, Dave would be tripping over himself to get Jon a beer and a pillow for his feet.

08:04, Dave Rubin: "No you cannot take a boy and actually make them a girl, that's just not reality."

Say it with me; absolutely nobody is giving transgender surgeries to small children. Dave's entire framework is simply denying the existence of transgender people.

I've said this before but I find the fact that Dave is a member of the LGBTQ community and still has hopped onto the right-wing transphobia bandwagon really infuriating. Years ago his ilk would be trying to make his marriage illegal and guess what? They still want that! It's so frustrating to watch this guy run defense for guys who hate who he is.

And talk about "smug and unlikeable". Dave hasn't even bothered to meet up with the families of trans youth like Jon has and is handwaving legitimate medical treatments because "my billionaire sponsors don't like it".

Anyway, lets move on before my head explodes. Dave plays another Jon Stewart clip, this time him interviewing Gavin Newsom. Dave then plays some clips from the Daily Show when Trevor Noah was hosting it. Dave proceeds to call a transwoman a "creature" and I want to throw my laptop out the window. I'll elaborate on this in the conclusion, but I'm starting to realize that Dave Rubin is a profoundly lazy content creator.

14:22, Dave Rubin: "Now the reason I'm showing you all this and starting the show with this Jon Stewart thing and everything else is because the Daily Show became this cultural touchpoint. 'More young people get their news from the Daily Show than anywhere else.' So when you wonder how did this all happen? That so many kids are confused about their gender. How did it happen that being not racist made you racist? It's because this is the crap that Hollywood pushes on us."

"The Daily Show is turning people trans" is an argument that I never thought I would hear and yet here we are. The median viewership age of the Daily Show in 2024 is 63 years old by the way so this argument makes even less sense in this day and age.

Dave plays another Daily Show clip. This time it's one of the guest hosts talking about migrants.

15:54, Dave Rubin: "Illegal people are here illegally. Even if there are jobs for them then what you do is you have them come legally and you figure it out."

Except that the pathways to legal immigration are borderline impossible to fulfill. If Dave is saying that we should loosen those pathways, I agree. But that's not what he's saying so this is just him being an obtuse idiot.

Dave does an ad for Tax Network USA and then he expands on his broader point.

18:10, Dave Rubin: "What I'm trying to lay out to you, and that's all well and good, is that all the ideas that we just talked about there are the things that get into the culture and you wonder why everything is wrong, why our politicians suck, why we don't know up is down and up is up and down is down and all these things."

Dave Rubin: Master Orator strikes again.

"Up is down and up is up and down is down", truly profound stuff right there. Seriously, who the hell watches this unironically?! How does this guy have 2.14M subscribers?! At least guys like Ben Shapiro have certain airs around them that make them seem like intellectuals to people who don't know any better.

18:25, Dave Rubin: "But now I want to drive this a little further into the cultural piece of this because Law & Order where a white woman is raped by a black man but doesn't want him to go to jail. Take a look at this."

Dave then plays the clip from Law & Order. Again, this a ridiculously stupid thing to talk about, especially since Dick Wolf seems like a pretty conservative guy from what I can tell.

19:40, Dave Rubin: "Could we do a road trip after the show? Would you guys be interested in doing a road trip after the show? Drive cross-country, go to Hollywood, bomb the place?"

Law & Order has been filmed in New York for a million years.

Also, the episode ends with the rape victim testifying against the rapist so this whole story is a complete load of nothing even if we follow the parameters that Dave laid out.

20:11, Dave Rubin: "The messaging that they are sending to the brains of young people and I guess middle age people who watch Law & Order, everything is freaking backwards. They have taken art and made it activism."

Does....does Dave not realize that art and film has been a form of activism since its inception. Also, I love how he realized in the middle of his sentence that young people tend not to watch Law & Order and threw that "middle aged people" in there at the last second. Nice save.

Dave talks about the Disney Snow White remake. This is such an insanely old story. Ben Shapiro even announced a "competitor" version that will be hosted on the Daily Wire what feels like a century ago. Old news and an immediate skip.

21:21, Dave Rubin: "I do wanna back up for just a second. I don't condone or call for terrorism in Hollywood or anywhere else. I didn't mean bomb the place, I meant like glitterbomb it, you know what I mean? Just go there and pour glitter all over these people, that is what I meant. Lets be clear about that because Media Matters I'm sure is watching every moment of this 'Rubin just called to bomb Hollywood.'"

I've got bad news for Dave, he's not even important enough to get clipped by Media Matters. He's been mentioned by them in passing but the last time he got clipped was February of 2023. Really the only people criticizing him are a Twitter account called "Dave Rubin Clips" on Twitter, his own subreddit, and me.

Dave plays a clip from SNL. He does an ad for the Wellness Company, it's the same company that makes those emergency kits that Charlie Kirk was hawking in our last episode.

Now, its time to get serious. Dave wants to talk about the news...it involves playing more stupid freaking clips. He plays an MSNBC clip and here are his thoughts.

26:11, Dave Rubin: "Ok, I'm only showing you that because these people that they put on there, they just offer them the red meat. And of course their kind of brain damaged progressive audience eats it up."

"And then I play a clip of it so that my audience can eat up my commentary on it"

Also, the brain damaged comment was stupid as all hell. Anyway, Trump lost the defamation suit against E. Jean Carroll and Dave comments on it the only way he can...by commenting on a clip he plays from The View.

28:13, Dave Rubin: "It really, it's so horrible. And watching the women applaud. If they all felt like this woman really got raped, again rape is pretty bad, they wouldn't be celebrating today, right? Like, it wouldn't be a day of celebration. It would be kind of a somber like, 'Oh there was a verdict in the defamation thing related to the rape and Donald Trumps gonna have to pay up.' But they know it's all bullshit, it's all a show."

"Woah, a rape victim celebrating finally getting justice?! That makes no sense!"

This argument makes absolutely zero sense. Imagine if you got raped and the court forces your rapist to pay you millions of dollars. You'd be pretty damn happy. Does Dave think that after you get raped you are incapable of feeling anything outside of sadness?! And what's more, if you manage to score a win against your rapist you are still going to be sad.

Lets play a game. Do you think that Dave is going to;

A): Offer insightful and nuanced commentary on the verdict that considers the evidence and leads to an informed conclusion.

B): Play another stupid clip and then say something stupid.

The answer is A....just kidding! This is Dave Rubin we're talking about, of course it's going to be B! Dave rolls a CNN clip and mumbles about some stupid shit.

30:20, Dave Rubin: "If she got raped, which Donald Trump was not convicted of, would you want to make a show of all of this?"

The guy was extremely wealthy and that was before he became president. She's celebrating getting a form of justice against an extremely powerful adversary.

Also, Trump was found liable of sexually abusing Carroll which is commonly understood as rape. So he didn't even get that part right. Again, laziness.

Dave comments on a joke Carroll made to Rachel Maddow that she would "buy her a penthouse". It was a joke and apparently Dave is pissed about it. Whatever. Dave plays more clips of Carroll and then plays a Megyn Kelly clip. Again, letting others make his arguments for him.

35:16, Dave Rubin: "This is why Megyn is just so consistently great. I don't know what happened, you don't know what happened, Megyn Kelly doesn't know what happened."

So the bar for trusting a rape victim is if you know for sure what happened? That's ridiculous! Plus the evidence was clearly compelling enough that Trump was found liable for sexual abuse.

Also, wasn't the theme for today supposed to be about WW3? "Cooler heads shall prevail" and all that?

37:03, Dave Rubin: "But now I wanna connect that to something that's happening in the world and show you Trump at his absolute best. Because these are the moments that we could use a real leader in this country and I think he has an interesting opportunity. And as I've been telling you for the last two weeks, I wanna nudge him to be the best Donald Trump if possible."

Oh yeah, that's gonna happen. I can just see Trump now;

"I was gonna make this decision but Dave Rubin said that would be a bad idea! Guess I'm not gonna do that!"

Anyway, Dave's next story is about the drone-strike in Jordan that took the lives of 3 US soldiers. He reads some stuff from the Daily Wires website (and here I thought he was going to play a clip of Ben Shapiro, he's evolving!) and then launches into his take;

38:44, Dave Rubin: "So now you might be wondering 'Dave, what does this have to do with the E. Jean Carroll thing?' Well, Donald Trump issued a statement on this and I think he nailed it."

Dave reads out a Donald Trump post that he very clearly didn't write (not enough random all caps). Again, Dave can't really make content of his own capably and just relies on everybody else to do the heavy lifting. Also, I love how quickly he switched over from being a Ronnie D simp to being a MAGA moron. Those boots need a lickin'!

40:20, Dave Rubin: "Look, I don't know if Donald Trump wrote that himself. It's obviously irrelevant, they have speechwriters and everything else."

It's relevant when you spent the past four minutes hyping this post up as "the Trump we need" and "Trump at his absolute best". If Trump didn't write it then it isn't Trump. Unless you are saying that Trump is at his best when he isn't in control, in which case me and Dave might have more common ground than I thought.

40:26, Dave Rubin: "But the clarity, the moral clarity, 'peace through strength'. The reality of the fact that three, four years ago, when Donald Trump was still president, especially pre-COVID, that the world was peaceful and Middle East peace deals were being signed left and right. The Iranians were doing absolutely nothing."

It may have seemed more peaceful compared to right now but it's important to remember that the conflict between Israel and Palestine has been going on for way longer than October 7th. The Abraham Accords, which I assume is what Dave is talking about when he mentions about peace deals, was brokered between countries that weren't engaged in conflict and did nothing to impact Israel and Palestine. Also, nothing happened with Iran? Remember the assassination of General Suleimani that nearly pushed the US and Iran to the brink of war? That certainly didn't help peace in Iran.

41:30, Dave Rubin: "The first thing that Donald Trump did when he got into office was drop the mother of all bombs, the MOAB, the mother of all bombs, dropped it. People didn't even know why he dropped it but it made it seem like he was kinda crazy so don't mess with this guy."

So Dave's brilliant foreign policy strategy is acting like a complete lunatic?

41:43, Dave Rubin: "He killed Suleimani, right? And everyone was like 'this is gonna start World War Three', actually it caused Iran to not do much of anything while he was president."

The reason we are seeing so much action from Iran is because of Israel/Palestine, a conflict which finally boiled over after decades. Blaming Irans increased action on Biden is stupid.

Again, I don't think Biden is faultless. His continued funding of the genocide in Palestine is awful and I fundamentally disagree with it. But criticizing him for stupid made up reasons is well...stupid.

Conclusion:

Ok, so Dave playing a lot of clips and not adding a lot of original ideas to his commentary took me off guard the last time that I talked about him but this time I was ready for it. This episode didn't break a lot of new ground but I felt that it would be a good opportunity to talk about something about Dave that needs to be said and it's that his content is so deeply lazy.

Think about it. Your average Dave Rubin episode is just him playing television clips completely out of context and then saying a two second conservative culture war related soundbite after it. Dave Rubin basically gets mad at TV for a living.

Even when he's trying to make an argument, he just mumbles something that doesn't really make any sense and then lets someone more articulate like Megyn Kelly pick up the pieces. It's to the point where I would be willing to wager that a good 50% of his show is just clips of other people talking.

This is because Dave Rubin is a grifter who doesn't really bring any new ideas to the table outside of "I'm gay and I'm also conservative". I feel like a big part of him realizes that when he talks for long periods of time he usually ends up making a fool of himself.

And it's not just the clips either, he barely researches what he's talking about. Take for example, the Daily Show coverage. With a five second Google search I knew more about the story than Dave did and as a result was able to point out his inaccuracies and make him look like a complete idiot. Same thing with him not realizing that Trump was found liable for sexual abuse. This is basic shit that you need to know when you are trying to act like the authority on a subject. But Dave doesn't even look into it because he's too busy clipping NBC and being deeply lazy.

Anyway, cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

#right wing bullshit #politics #conservative bullshit #fact checking #journalism #bad takes #conservatives #disinformation #debunking #dave rubin #right wing disinformation #right wing stupidity #fuck transphobes

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 2 years

Note

top 10 unsolved crimes

1. Piedmont Avenue – an unsolved murder committed in Berkeley in 1971 that was the impetus behind the creation of the Mystery Machine in The Mystery Machine. No motive for the murder is known.

2. Lurking Man in Plain Sight – this is the Tomb of the Unknown Interrogator, located at the National Military Academy, in West Point, New York. It is estimated that there are a few thousand people in the world who have actually entered this tomb. Very few know it exists, and it is very difficult to get out of, for various reasons.

3. Death By Love – there is an apartment in a New York building where the apartment's previous occupants have been killed off one at a time since 1970. No motive is known, and the killings seem to have no regularity.

4. Molasses in My Coffee – when coffee maker George H. P. Arnold left his apartment on September 29, 1900, he left behind a note that said: "Please send me Molasses in My Coffee." He was never seen again. A man who lives in Berkeley now claims to be George H. P. Arnold.

5. The Golden Gimp – since the early 1960s, there has been a giant teddy bear in a tree overlooking the town of South Dakota, US, called "The Golden Gimp." Despite repeated attempts to get a close look at it, nobody knows what the Golden Gimp is. There have been several attempts to kill the Golden Gimp in retaliation, but none are confirmed. (This was one of the major motivating forces behind the first World War.)

6. The Man Who Lives At the End of the Universe – there is a universe at the end of the universe where life doesn't make sense. It has an Earth-like surface where the Earth does not exist, but everything else is the same. The Man Who Lives At the End of the Universe is one of the universe's inhabitants, and has no explanation for his own existence.

7. The Case of the Raccoon-Skin Pillow – several members of the University of Chicago Mystery Club have been murdered. Some say it is the work of the Raccoon-Skin Pillow Man, who lives on the University of Chicago campus.

8. Bread of Death – there have been several reports that there are underground graves full of food that is actually poison for the people who eat it. The food is kept in the caves by an evil entity called the BREAD of DEATH Man. No source could be found for these reports, and they are now widely believed to be hoaxes. However, there is a cave where the BREAD of Death Man keeps his supplies, and it is located in California.

9. The Man Who Wakes Up In the Morning and Decides When He Goes To Sleep – in the world of Lore, every morning there is a man who gets out of bed and decides how much sleep he is going to have that day. If he decides to go to bed at night, he will never get to do so, but if he decides to stay awake, the universe will keep him that way until he decides to go to bed. The only source of this information is the man himself.

10. The Mothman of Point Pleasant – the Mothman is a cryptid which some people have said exists, and some people have said does not. It has been observed many times, but never caught on film. Its origin is also unclear.

#moths-in-the-window

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over-the-time-flow · 9 months

Text

Super Robot Rollcall: The Preventers

Garrod Ran

"I won't let you repeat our mistakes!!!"

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Age: 15

Height: 161 cm

Voice Actor: Wataru Takagi

The Blazing Mobile Suit Pilot himself (self-entitled), Garrod's a determined young man who, throughout his travels, realizes just how much of the world around him is built upon (or, in the case of the actual source material, atop the ruins of) the past generation's mistakes, traumas, and baggage. Throughout it all, his dedication to the taciturn young Tiffa Adill serves as motivation to never turn back, regardless of how much cruelty or foolishness he has to deal with.

I like him a lot :)

Garrod won't wow you, but he's certainly not bad either. High Evasion, high Skill, and high Accuracy are all rather nice to have, but his offensive stats are underwhelming.

However, as the game goes on, his Spirit Command list will prove to have basically everything you could want him to have, except for the all-important Spirit (気合, raises user's Will by 10), which would make firing the Gundam X's signature move a lot easier. Speaking of, said signature move more than makes up for Garrod's lack of innate firepower.

Garrod will become better throughout the game, but it does hurt him that all but one of his "upgrades" are more on the machine side than the pilot side, since you could just stick anybody else on his machine(s). Still, the one that IS a direct upgrade for him is rather strong, even if it's technically a secret.

Fun Fact: Garrod is responsible for the single longest-range sniping feat in the history of Gundam, landing a shot from 15~20 thousand kilometers away. Though it should be mentioned, the target in question wasn't exactly small...

Gundam X

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Model Number: GX-9900

Height: 17.1 meters

Real World Designer: Kunio Okawara

The Earth Federation's trump card, and one of the most powerful Newtype-use weapons ever made. Armed with multiple superweapons and a dedicated support unit that never saw live battle during the old war, even with the relatively small number of deployed units, it made one hell of an impression on the battlefield, and gave Jamil Neate PTSD even though he was the one piloting it.

Today, Garrod Ran pilots it, though he doesn't know the full extent of the machine's history, nor of its capabilities...

Average mobility, average range, average firepower, but man it's got one hell of a trump card up its...

...Huh? Where's its trump card?

...In any case, once it's here, it's a big reason why this is one hell of a machine. I'd honestly say it's better than its upgraded counterpart in quite a few circumstances.

Fun Fact: Kunio Okawara has said that the GX was designed with the motif of the famous samurai Sasaki Kojiro in mind; the diagonal way in which the cannon rests on its back, alongside the way the hilt of the beam saber is pulled from its base, are meant to be evocative of Kojiro's famously long katana, the Monohoshizao (Clothespole).

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Jamil Neate

"Don't think, just run!"

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Age: 30

Height: 180 cm

Voice Actor: Ken'yu Horiuchi

A former newtype ace, Jamil now makes his living by leading the Frieden crew. Due to the PTSD the war gave him, he finds himself unable to get back in a Mobile Suit's cockpit, and prefers to lead from the Frieden's bridge instead.

Despite no longer being at the forefront, Jamil is far from a coward, and will go to extreme lengths to protect other newtypes from the same fate he now grapples with. He believes in a future where newtypes are no longer used as weapons of war, and this resolution is exactly what makes people trust him so fiercely.

Jamil boasts the singular strongest Ranged stat out of all battleship commanders in the game (and by a LONG shot), and despite claiming to no longer have Newtype powers, he still has one level of the skill to boot, making him easily the most accurate out of the whole bunch. On top of that, his Evasion is good enough that, coupled with his Newtype abilities, he's capable of making the damn thing dodge sometimes.

If you had to find something to complain about with him, it'd be that his Spirits list really isn't all that good for battleship captain duty, being more suited to a Real Robot pilot.

Also, there's a secret in this game involving him; by a certain chapter, we want him to have 20 kills. Considering how far off said chapter is, it's really not that tall of a task provided you know about it, and i'm sure some people have even managed to get it while not knowing about it. Still, we'd best not forget to feed him every once in a while.

Fun Fact: Flashbacks aside, we never see Jamil without his sunglasses until he takes them off during the final episode, after which point he never puts them back on again.

Frieden

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Length: 130 meters

A modified version of an old Federation Alps-class land battleship.

It's certainly a battleship. It's got thin armor coupled with no barrier, but it's got large reserves of HP as with all battleships, so it's not exactly easy to take down. Plus, by being a landship, it's got the distinct advantage of being able to get terrain bonuses, something the other battleships can't really do.

In case you were thinking of being silly with it and trying to upgrade its mobility to fit Jamil, don't bother. That'd be incredibly expensive for very little returns, and said upgrades will carry over to later ships that are even less fit for dodging. Even equipping it with mobility raising parts doesn't seem worth it, as it only has a measly two Parts slots, much better dedicated for consumable items for you to cast on nearby allies.

Fun Fact: The german word "Frieden" means peace.

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Roybea Loy

"I wonder if there's a Heaven?"

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Height: 184 cm

Voice Actor: Takumi Yamazaki

The Frieden crew's resident playboy. In the original show, his playboy behavior was rationalized as being a way to spread more love than hatred in the desolate world of the After War timeline, but in SRW R's world, i suppose he's just like that innately.

Also, his cut-in art in R is ATROCIOUS, they did him so fucking dirty.

Roybea is alright. He's got average stats all around. Using Garrod as a measuring stick, Roybea hovers slightly below Garrod in most regards, except for being exactly 1 point better in both offensive stats, and being a whopping 10 points behind in Evasion.

Still, he makes up for this with a fairly stellar Spirit command lineup, with an early Daunt (脱力, lowers target enemy's Will by 10) being stellar for boss-slaying, and later getting Assault (突撃, can use any weapon after moving, except for MAP attacks), which can make him a serious candidate for the GX (and its upgrade) in playthroughs where you don't get the big Gundam X secret. On top of all that, he even has 2 levels of Support Attack.

Gundam Leopard

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Model Number: GT-9600

Height: 16.8 meters

A heavy-weapons machine from the same war as the Gundam X, the Leopard was also originally a Newtype-use machine, though the one Roybea uses has been heavily modified, and no longer has the Flash System.

Below average Mobility, below average Movement Range, below average firepower. This thing's not great. It has a MAP attack, but it's weak enough that it won't be very useful for much more than weakening multiple grunt enemies at a time (though it IS nice that it doesn't have a Will requirement). It'll get a couple upgrades later down the line, but even then, there's better options, even within the constraints of Gundam X MSs.

Fun Fact: In the Gundam X timeline, this was the first Gundam ever made, and was once ridden by the very first newtype.

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Witz Sou

"Please... Protect the Frieden!"

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Height: 175 cm

Voice Actor: Kazuya Nakai

A hot-blooded, impulsive young man who's often the butt of jokes on the Frieden. He starts off abrasive, but as the crew gets to know him better, he can't help but get attached. He's been trying to get money to help his family back home, but when he returns home after a long while and things have seriously changed, he has a hard time coping with it.

His backstory doesn't really fit with the complicated setting of SRW R, and the large cast in R doesn't really offer Witz the found family vibes that the Frieden crew thawed him with, so here he's just an asshole for no reason and is often designated for scenes where the script clearly just needed someone to be a dick and/or a contrarian. Poor Witz :(

He hovers around Roybea's statline on every metric except Melee, which is REALLY low, but that doesn't really matter when no Gundam X machines really suffer from the pilot having low Melee.

Spirit Commands wise, he's less impressive than Roybea. He's not really missing anything particularly important, but he doesn't have any real standouts other than maybe Accel, which coupled with his Airmaster, let him be wherever he wants to be, whenever he wants to be.

Fun Fact: Witz was Kazuya Nakai's first role, fresh off of giving up the salaryman lifestyle to try and break into the VA business. Judging from certain interviews, it seems he's rather attached to the role because of this.

Gundam Airmaster

Source Material: After War Gundam X

Model Number: GW-9800

Height: 17.2 meters

A high-mobility newtype-use machine from the same war as the Leopard and the Gundam X. Much like the Leopard, this machine seems to have been modified, and no longer has the Newtype-use Flash System.

High base mobility, and BONKERS Movement Range. It does suffer from not having an attack with longer range than 5 tiles, but that issue is somewhat alleviated by the fact that said 5-range attack is post-movement on top of this thing's turbo speeds.

A more genuine issue with it, however, is its lack of firepower. Still, you can do a lot worse than this one.

Fun Fact: Kazuya Nakai has a model kit of this machine, but refuses to actually build it out of sentimentality. I've always found this story really sweet.

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Fa Yuiry

"Humans are emotional animals!"

Source Material: Mobile Suit Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

Birthday: October 9th

Age: 17

Voice Actress: Miyuki Matsuoka

A determined and kind young woman who ended up involved with the AEUG during the Gryps Conflict. Though not as impulsive as some of her compatriots, she too has a strong sense of justice, and held deep resentment for the Titans.

In SRW R, the Gryps Conflict has already concluded (though evidently in a very different manner from how the TV show concluded), and now she searches for Kamille's whereabouts.

There's no sugarcoating it, Fa's terrible. If you must find any positive quirks of her, she gets Blocking up to level 5, which is really high, and she gets three levels of Support Defense. Couple this with her being a Newtype, and i guess you could try and make her a Support Defense battery? Obviously this would be a terrible use of a deploy slot, but if you absolutely MUST deploy her because you are madly in love with her, that'd be the move. Here's some rot13'd paragraphs with future unit spoilers if you're someone who MUST use Fa and find this non-negotiable.

if you're wondering why i even bothered with this, it's because i really really like theorycrafting and will take any excuse to do it

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Fnmnov Gur gnaxvrfg HP znpuvar, naq vg qbrf unir gur shyy Fjbeq/Tha/Fuvryq ybnqbhg. Gbb onq vg qbrfa'g unir na V-Svryq yvxr gur Ah.

Methuss

Source Material: Mobile Suit Z Gundam: Char’s Counterattack

Model Number: MSA-005

Height: 26 meters

Power Source: Nuclear Fusion Reactor

Real World Designer: Mamoru Nagano

An experimental mobile suit created as a testbed for the Zeta Gundam's transforming mechanism.

It's also one of my favorite Mobile Suits, period!

It's terrible. Its only saving grace is its ability to Repair, which is admittedly rare in R, but... it's really not worldchanging enough to justify how bad this thing is.

They even gave it a B rank in space. This thing spent most of its time in space in the damn show, man, what the hell

Fun Fact: Despite prominently serving as a fuel tank for the Hyaku Shiki's big beam cannon (official name, trust me), the Methuss has never had the ability to Resupply by default in SRW games, only recently acquiring as a Full Upgrade Bonus (or Half Upgrade Bonus).

This is a great injustice.

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Lucrezia Noin

"Zechs... it's been 1 year and 22 days..."

Source Material: New Mobile Report Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz

Age: 19

Voice Actor: Chisa Yokoyama

A smart and level-headed woman, Noin graduated from military academy with top marks. She did her best to revive the Sanc Kingdom, which her stalking target lover old friend Zechs hailed from, alongside his younger sister Relena. Even after the kingdom fell once more, she and Relena continued to steadfastly expouse and protect the virtues of total pacifism, the ideal on which the Sanc Kingdom was built. In the Preventers, she goes by the codename "Fire".

In SRW games featuring Endless Waltz, she's usually the first or one of the first Preventers to join you.

Noin's stats are all middling to bad, with the one standout being, weirdly enough, rather high Defense.

If you use her at all, it's for her rather good support-oriented Spirit Commands, but her machine isn't particularly fit for support duty, so she just feels aimless. If only we could put her in the Methuss...

Fun Fact: She's often overshadowed by Zechs both in the source material and in all of their countless SRW appearances, but in-universe, she's shown herself to be a lot more competent than him on various occasions.

Taurus

Source Material: New Mobile Report Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz

Model Number: SK-12 SMS

Height: 16.8 meters

Real World Designer: Jun'ya Ishigaki

Imagine if the Airmaster didn't have its cracked Movement Range, nor its great base Mobility. Now imagine Witz was pilot-locked to it.

Yeah, i'd advocate for total pacifism too if this hunk of junk was the best i could get my hands on.

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Whew, that sure turned out to be one LONG rollcall.

With that, happy birthday to me, and i'll be seeing you all on monday!

#Youtube

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emmym1 · 9 months

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My thoughts on... (Part 2) Spider-Gwen 2015B (#24-29) "Gwenom"

So Rhino gets real scared now that he knows there is a big target on his back by a hero that has turned into something completely different now. Murdock takes advantage of Gwen's anger and sets up a trap. He no longer will protect Rhino and leave him to his fate, even more he lets Gwen know where he is all while calling the cops to let them know where Spider-Woman/Gwenom will be. Gwenom confronts Rhino and she's ready to full on kill him and get her revenge. The cops turn to the scene and you start reading the inner monologue of someone, at first you could think it might be Gwen as she usually is the only one that gets her inner monologue presented but after a few dialogue lines you think it might be Rhino. Only for it to turn out to be Frank Castle aka The Punisher who finally realized that the real enemy isn't Spider-Woman but Murdock, who's been puppeteering everything and is pulling the strings on both sides of the law. Frank actually kills Rhino with a stark tech gauntlet he had from his days back in the war machine program. Gwen is furious about this because he stole her only shot at revenge. And she even talks how she wanted to be the one to kill him and how it was more than anything she's ever wanted. After this she realized how much the symbiote has consumed her and her mind and acknowledges that she has to get rid of it. So she goes to see Reed Richards to find a way to get inside the SHIELD bunker where they hold Cindy Moon of earth-65, the one responsible for Gwen's powers and taking them away. They find a way in and as she makes her way through the guards you continue to see how different Gwenom is from Spider-Woman. What's interesting is that she doesn't ask Cindy how to get rid of the symbiote or how to get her powers back without it but instead she asks, Why? Here we get some really really cool extra backstory for Cindy. Originally we knew she was supposed to be the one bitten with the radioactive spider but that it was prevented on the last second. After this she spent her life trying to make sense of her fate & trying to recapture the moment that passed by her. So she recreates the spider who was supposed to give her her powers. Before this we just knew that she set it out in the wild to give a middle finger to the web of fate. But there was a big question of "Why didn't she let the spider bite her so she could fullfil her original fate?", turns out she was scared. What if it didn't work? or what if it did? then what? So instead she decided to let fate do its work and releases the spider into the wild After this she confronts Gwen and says there is no magic way out of this for her. And that her dark thoughts, fears and anger are her own and not something that's being caused by some alien force. They're her own. It's a pretty important moment for Gwen as she slowly comes to learn that all of this is her responsibility and hers alone. She's responsible for the actions she takes. Cindy tells her that revenge will not set her free and that the more she hates murdock the smaller she becomes and the more murdock can control her. Her advice? Walk away and never think about it again, don't give into what murdock wants but instead just move on. After all, she has nothing left to fear anymore. Although Gwen isn't sure if she can do that. While trying to leave the building she comes across Black Cat's cell. Wondering why she's here. Last time she saw her was at a concert fighting Murdock. she tells her this is what happens when you take a shot at Murdock and miss. Seeing Black Cat in that cell made Gwen realize just how much of the justice system Matt controls.

After that Gwen kinda starts to think that Matt might have been right. Maybe this never was about wanting to be Spider-Woman, wanting to make a difference, making it mean something. Maybe in the end it simply was all about power and nothing else. And she slowly starts to lean more into that thought and convinces herself that might be it. After this The Punisher shows up and offers to team up to bring down Murdock. Gwenom absolutely loses it. The guy responsible for this entire mess, the one indirectly responsible for her dad being in jail and all the problems that came after it wants to team up with her. She loses it and starts to violently destroy everything arround her. It's here you see how much the symbiote and her own thoughts have consumed her very well. Ultimately she doesn't say no. After all that she decides to something very interesting. She reveals her identity to not only ben & may parker but also to the mary janes. She finally reaches out to the people she's been shutting off. Finally she gets to hear a voice other than the one inside of her. It's here we learn something very interesting and hard hitting. We knew that Gwen was neglecting her life as Gwen and moreso living it as Spider-Woman. But she finally admits why. She had to many responsibilities and expectations. She was changing as a person and became something different due to her powers and she was scared that they'd never accept it, let her change, let her grow. To them she'd always be Gwen, so she thought it was better to pretend nothing changed. To let this version of Gwen be someone they could understand and accept. She split her lives into two halves and is scared to admit that neither of them were never really whole. But for the fight that lies ahead of her she has to be whole. And even though she doesn't want to admit that she's still affraid. She is affraid that in order to win the part of her that makes up Gwen Stacy will have to die, that she will have to let go forever of who she once was.

#spider gwen #comics

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nerdsworld · 10 months

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🛑🛑 WGA-SAG-AFTRA 🛑🛑

I'm all for this strike and anyone who feels they are not getting, what they are worth.

But,it's interesting that these "elites","executives" were the same ones telling their employees,to get 💉 and than their employees turned around and were telling us to get them too.

The ones who chose NOT to take part in the government's experiment,lost their livelihood,their houses, apartments and did not (seem) receive any support from their fellow workers.

Now,that SAME machine has turned on them,wagging their crooked finger in their face and basically telling them,you too are replaceable (A.I).

A.I Will Replace You.......

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Interesting how this worked out,eh?

All of you should have stuck together in the beginning 💉💉💉💉 and said NO!!!!!

Bob Iger is blaming everyone,from the actors,writers and the fans/movie goers.

"Hey,how we get in this?"~Movie Enthusiast 🤔

He blames us for NOT going to any of the phase three,four,etc movies,for low ratings for Disney+.

Amazing,since we were the same ones for TEN years straight, that went to every Marvel movie on opening night, Friday, weekends,some going two or three times to see the same damn movie.

But,somehow the next phase of the Marvel/Star Wars/Indiana Jones legacy has face planted and it's our fault?

Ron Perlman turns it up a notch🔥

He digs deep and finds his Sons Of Anarchy old character and goes full scorched earth.

Sunday

07.16.2023

L.George

#wga #sag strike #sag #sag aftra #writersstrike #actors strike #ron perlman #sons of anarchy #scorchedearth #Youtube

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autisticsupervillain · 2 years

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It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

Gordon Freeman vs Ethan Winters!

Conditions:

Speed Equalized. Both have their entire arsenals.

Scenario:

The G-Man wishes to obtain a biological weapon for his employers and sends Gordon Freeman out to capture Ethan Winters so he may reverse engineer one from Ethan's biology. The G-Man makes a point of stressing that Ethan need not necessarily be alive, he just requires some part of his body to study.

Analysis: Gordon

Many shooter heroes have gone up against impossible odds. Conquered incomprehensible threats from beyond the stars and bested physical gods. And yet, the greatest of all these heroes isn't an uber space marine or a super masculine macho man. No, Gordon Freeman is simply an ordinary scientist with a crowbar.

Gordon Freeman was once a diligent theoretical physicist working at the top secret lab known as Black Mesa. However, one of Gordon's experiments accidentally punched a hole into another universe, causing an alien invasion. Gordon is forced to fight for his life and fend off the invaders, making him the savior off Earth. Unfortunately, this puts him on the G-Man's radar, forcing him to serve the mysterious being and his employers for the rest of his days... until Half-Life 3 comes out... assuming it will.

Luckily, G-Man mostly seems to want Gordon to kick alien ass and Freeman's got plenty of tools for the job. For starters, he never goes into battle with his trusty HEV suit. The Hazardous EnVironment Suit comes with a whole bunch of nifty features, boosting his otherwise normal human stats to superhuman levels. With it, he's durable enough to tank military air strikes with 134 megajoules of force behind them and survive hits from lasers that do this to solid steel walls.

Source:

The suit also has a built in radiation detector and an ai voice that informs him of any grievous injuries. Upon sustaining an injury, he's pumped full of painkillers potent enough to let him shrug off bullet wounds. Similarly, the suits antitoxins are strong enough to reverse the effects of headcrab poison, which leaves him on the brink of death with just a touch, in seconds. Hell, he can even tank hits from antimatter weapons, endure extreme heat and cold, and shrug off high voltage electricity. Even morso, the suit can be upgraded, allowing him to leap several Kilometers when using the long jump module.

He also carries a large array of guns. While Gordon has the typical shotgun, AK, and RPG ensemble you would expect from a shooter protagonist, he also has some unique guns. He carries two crossbows, one shoots tranquilizer darts while the other shoots bars of molten metal. He carries the Gluon Gun, which shoots unstable Gluon particles so powerful that they make people explode, the Tau canon, which shoots Tau particles, and the hive hand, which shoots alien bugs at people like a wasp machine gun. His Pulse Rifle shoots energy projectiles and, when charged up, shoots a ball of antimatter that bounces around everywhere erases everyone it touches on contact. His most iconic gun, however, is the gravity gun, which manipulates gravity to allow him to throw anyone and anything that gets in his grasp around like a ragdoll, even erasing people with its antimatter energy should he grab them with it.

With these powerful weapons, Gordon has fought off impossible odds with ease. He stopped an alien invasion within the span of a week at most and turned the tide of a hopelessly one sided war against a galactic empire in the span of two days. He curb stomped his way through the US Military and has even impressed the reality warping G-Man with his abilities.

Having said that, he has a few weaknesses. For one thing, his suit's durability relies on its battery, so he'll frequently have to recharge it if he gets hit too often. He also doesn't wear a helmet, which leaves his squishy human head exposed for his superhuman enemies to crush.

Despite that though, Gordon Freeman is universally beloved as the savior of mankind and is dreaded even by godlike, reality warping aliens. That says a lot about a man who used to just be a pimply scientist.

Analysis: Ethan

How well do you think you would survive a zombie outbreak? Do you picture yourself being able to blast apart swarms of zombies with a single shotgun blast or being able to cut apart giant monsters with a massive chainsaw? Well, Ethan Winters is living proof that the average man can survive those horrific circumstances, provided he's given a superhuman healing factor and a fuck ton of guns.

Ethan Winters is what happens when James Sunderland gets the wrong address and finds himself in the middle of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film. Ethan Winters gets a message from his wife, whose supposedly been dead for years, telling him to drive out all alone to a rural location to pick her up. However, while James Sunderland gets psychologically tortured by an eldritch abomination pretending to be a town, Ethan Winters gets a hand chainsawed off.

As it turns out, the whole thing had been a trap set by Resident Evil's latest Bioweapon of the week and Ethan must now rescue his wife from a clan of unkillable rednecks. Luckily, he's got plenty of tools to get the job done with, starting with sharing the same fungal infection.

Ethan has blatantly superhuman regenerative properties that he weirdly never thinks to question. These abilities are so strong that they allow him to reattach limbs and regenerate from having his head stomped in by an infected Jack Baker. This infection is presumably the source of his superhuman abilities, which is likely while he can physically hurt someone who can shrug off getting hit by a car like it's nothing. And to top it off, he's the only infectee who can actively resist getting controlled by the hive mind's leader, effectively granting him all the boons of being an undead fungus in the shape of a man without the major drawback of having no free will.

Even ignoring his state of living death, Ethan has numerous weapons to back him up. On top of the standard handguns, shotguns, and machine guns, Ethan has numerous explosive weapons, ranging from grenades to trigger bombs and landmines. He has a flame thrower to deal with anything that gets in close that his chainsaws and knives can't handle, as well as a grenade launcher to deal with the building sized monstrosities the Baker family transforms into. His most powerful weapon, however, is the Albert-01 handgun.

This monstrosity of a hand canon is powerful enough to kill building sized monsters in only a handful of shots, including those who can shrug off his grenade launcher. It does this by actively nullifying the fungus's regenerative properties, which is useful when being used to kill people who can heal from their entire top halves exploding into showers of gore.

On top of that, Ethan also carries several herbs on him at all times. Not only do they boost his regeneration, but they also actively cure poisons and toxins from T-Virus enhanced monsters, like giant moths and spiders.

Ethan Winters is unique among Resident Evil protagonists in that he was once just an ordinary man. Despite that, he's no less well equipped to take down hordes of undead monstrosities. Similarly, his x-ray glasses and psychostimulants let him see important items through walls, such as ammo and crafting materials.

Throwdown Mashup:

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Throwdown Breakdown:

These two survivors have quite a bit that they can throw at each other, so let's see how well they can take. Both of these characters have ways of taking hits well above their weight class, as Gordon's armor is far more durable then what most of Ethan's guns can pierce, while Ethan's regeneration is similarly capable of negating what damage Gordon's regular guns can dish out. However, neither is a perfect no-sell. Gordon's armor has a finite battery and no helmet, meaning a clean headshot can still kill him dead, while Ethan's regeneration simply wouldn't stand up against getting vaporized or atomized by Gordon's sci-fi weaponry.

I'd give Ethan the edge in a sniping duel. Not only does his sniping rifle have more range than Gordon's crossbows, but it's also more lethal. If Ethan gets headshot, he'd just regenerate it, while his herbs can cure the tranquilizer poison. Gordon has no such respite. Short range is a bit of a different story. While their shotguns and pistols mostly match, Ethan does have better better melee weapons. A chainsaw beats a crowbar any day, but despite that clear edge, Ethan's flame thrower would get edged out considerably by Gordon's gravity gun. Which brings me to Gordon's biggest advantage.

Ethan has no way of expecting or match Gordon's sci-fi equipment head on. The gravity gun would vaporize Ethan up close, as well as ensure that even if they both run out of ammo, Gordon would still have a means of ranged combat. The Gluon Gun and other laser guns would be similarly lethal due to the sheer raw power they possess, while the Hive Hand is just so strange that Ethan wouldn't really expect it. Charged up Pulse Rifle shots would also erase Ethan completely, rendering his regeneration moot, while the long jump module ensures that Ethan will never hold the range advantage fir long.

However, a lot of this is countered out by Ethan's biggest advantage: stealth. Ethan only needs one clean headshot to win and, even failing that, his more powerful guns should still be enough to hurt Gordon even through his armor. Gordon has never really had to sneak past someone before (aside from a giant blind tentacle monster), nor has he fought someone who could do the same, whereas Ethan spends a good chunk of his games running and hiding from enemies far stronger than he is.

An initial exchange of gun fire would quickly inform both that they need to use their best options quickly, as Ethan's regenerative properties and Gordon's alien weaponry would quickly make them stand out as a threat who needed to be dealth with quickly, creating something of an impasse.

What breaks the tie for me is experience. Gordon can not only make short work of members of the US Military, but fight through the Combine Army, who took over the entire planet on only Seven Hours. That's a caliber of skill that Ethan can't really stand up to. Ultimately, I believe that Gordon's more bizarre and lethal weaponry, combined with a vast gulf in skill, would overwhelm Ethan before he can play his best cards.

If the fight ends quickly, it's Gordon's game. If it goes on for awhile, Ethan takes it. But, Mr. Winters just doesn't have the right skill set to hold on that long.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Gordon Freeman!

#fictional throwdown fridays #gordon freeman #half life #resident evil #ethan winters #Youtube

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