#and how i think maybe im glad i didnt come out (or even realize i was gay) in high school

[rubywithecat]

Tokyo revengers boys when you ignore them after one night stand (pt.1)

Mikey

-he almost doesnt recognize you

-when he senses the familiar scent when you passed through him, he couldnt help but turned his head

-"Hey wait" he called out. "do i know you?"

-U frozed. "I dont know you..." u lied. He walked to face you and looked you carefully. U broke the eye contact and excused yourself.

-he grabbed your hand which made your body gravitated toward his chest

-"your a bad liar" his lips nearly toucing yours. "plz dont ignore me. ive been searching u everywhere"

Ran Haitani

-He thought he would just forget you as like he does for many women who he had slept with

-But something about u made him craving u more, maybe cuz of ur innocence (u were a virgin)

- U were going to ur class when u heard a smiliar voice, u quickly hide when u caught a glimpse of him

-he was on his phone and he seemed to like noticed that u hide, he smirked

-"Rindou, I will call u back" he closed his phone and walked toward where u were

-ur heart was beating so fast and u just prayed he would passed through and closed ur eyes

-"Found ya" he whispered, loud enough for u to hear. "U who snaked away from me after i gave u ur first best night ever. Don’t u think it’s a lil bit unfair to me?” he grabbed ur waist as if he could read ur mind about escaping

-"u cant run away from me second time, Miss"

Chifuyu Matsuno

-He tried to forget about what happened that night and didnt even think he could meet u again

-when he saw u at the mall, he was about to call u out but he saw u with a kid, he thought its ur kid

-he didnt try to talk with u anymore cuz he doesnt wanna be a threat to ur marriage or smth

-u also saw him but u were too nervous to go and talk cuz u liked that guy so much “what if he doesn’t remember me? I would just embarrass myself” u whispered to urself

-as u guys parted, u were sad and hopeless

-"hey (kid name), i need to use toilet. dont go anywhere before i come back,okay?' u bent down to the kids height and smiled.

-"Yes” he replied cutely. "Good boy." u told him and go to toilet quickly.

-just a hen u come back, u saw him talking to a guy so u rushed quickly.

-"how old r u?" u could hear slightly. "i am 8" ur nephew answered.

-"what did i tell u (kid name)?Dont talk to random--' u scolded him before realizing that guy

-"he just saved me from some bad guys who tried to steal our shopping bags" ur nephew answered.

"Oh god" u sighed and turned back to him, but dont dare to look at him. "Umm... thank u for saving my nephew..." u said awkwardly.

-He was stunned but he felt relieved and glad that he wasn’t ur son

-U were about to walk away when he started to talk, "Im sure we met before, right?"

-U looked back at him and he was smiling at u and it was not a question. He remembered u and will not let u go anymore

Hanma Shuji

-From the moment he saw u, he couldn’t lie to himself that he fell in love with u

-Whenever he fcks someone he always think about u

-He was pissed that u left him after s*x without even leaving ur number

-He tried his best to forget u

-u didnt expect to meet a one night stand u met last year at the club u work

-Ur not like a stripper or anything like that. U work as a waitress there as u have no choice to pay for ur collage

-U quickly covered ur face as he walked passed through

-"maybe he wont even remember me at all. It was long time ago" u relieved. But then he stopped.

-"Hey" he called u. "Wtf- plz don’t remember me" u mumbled. U dont wanna invlove in gang things so its best to stay away

-"Do u know where are vip rooms?" he asked u

-"Uh— it’s at ur left, sir" U didnt dare to look back and just answered nervously, hoping he doesn’t see ur face

-U stared at u from behind for a sec and then walked away, smoking.

-“U see that girl over there? Bring her to my room” he ordered the waiter

-“Sir, I’m afraid she’s just a waitress and doesn’t do that kind of thing ya know…” the waiter answered, afraid “I- could suggest u the best beautiful stripper in our club. I’m sure u will be satis—“ before he could finish his word, he was punched to the ground.

-“Useless shits” he mumbled as he looked down and wiped the blood strain on his ring “Bring her to me” he said and left as he threw sone cash to the waiter face.

-U entered the dim light room, written “VIP” cuz ur coworker begged u so u empathized him

-“Were u searching for me?” U said impatiently and faked to be confident when u were trembling inside. “Look, just to be clear, im not interested in sleeping with u. I just come to tell u that so plz leave me alone and my coworkers, sir”

-Hanma just laughed helplessly as he finds that cute and as u were about to leave, he tightly hugged u from behind and kissed ur neck, leaving a mark

-“Who said I care whether ur intreated or not?” he smirked. “U were already mine. Don’t u dare run away from me… please?” His voice changed. It was the first time he begged for someone and u also feel that part of u just can’t resist him

—

A/N: Hi! Welcome back y’all! <3 So, I have been disappearing for a long time cuz of final exam and now it’s over so I can finally write back and have a lot of ideas that I wanna share with u guys. <3

Sorry for not being able to respond the requests but now that I’m free, I will be open to ur requests again! :*

And I hope u guys like this one and any supports are very much appreciated, loves <33

—

[bingusbongu]

you write for so many characters that I absolutely adore oml.

Could you write some kind of Alastor x new-to-hell reader? (I feel like this would be really interesting :3)

Also since I'm likely gonna be putting in a lot of reqs I'm claiming an Emoji (🖋 <- this one) so you know which anon this is teehee

-🖋

♡A/N: RAAAAAAA HELLO I KNOW YOU GFYFGG im glad you found my blog!!! I also made sure to make this on this specific day for you,,, ♡

Masterlist

Rules

Alastor x New Sinner Reader!

Tw: mentions of death and murder, and of stalking

• okay, the fact you manage to catch the eye of NONE OTHER than the famous and feared Radio Demon is beyond believable

• your new, you must have done something to become his intrest. I dont think he will just pluck you out of the streets as soon as you spawned because he wanted to

• maybe you found yourself in the middle of a turf war or spawned while he and some other demon were in a battle. Maybe you killed another demon on pure accident. And maybe, due to him working with Charlie, maybe he decided not to kill you instantly and offered you the hotel. Since you are new, perhapse you wanted redemption? Hell knows that charlie would be ecstatic to have a new member!

• so, you go with Alastor to the hotel! Meeting an overjoyed Charlie and the rest of the crew!

• though, Alastor kept his eyes on you. Your new, he couldnt have a new member of the hotel accidently step into a war of some sorts and have yourself killed the moment he looks away.

• so, you being as clueless as you are, Alastor reluctantly decided he was going to teach you what to do and not to do in hell! Charlie thought it was a wonderful idea, finding it unbelievable that Alastor was the one to come up with the idea AND go along with it

• so, Alastor would take you out of the hotel and teach you certain things, like how to categorize lower level demons and higher ranking demons, how to protect yourself while walking the street from others who want to harm you

• "no no, you go for the heart, thats the liver"

• after you manage to learn alot from Alastor! Suprisingly, he is quiet a good teacher! But, instead of leaving you to yourself, he would be found occasionally hanging around you

• others would take notice how they always were able to find Alastor wherever you are, and when confronted about it, he would completely shoot down their question and change the subject

• Alastor thought you needed more protection. Though he did teach yoi how to take care of yourself, he still found a need to watch over you, to protect you. A worm of worry that wiggled in his chest when he cant spot you in the hotel.

• Alastor dosnt bring you along to his meetings, to keep his reputation and to protect you from certain eyes. If you are with the Radio Demon, then you have a bigger target on your head

• though, he does sometimes take you to his visits with Rosie!

• she adores you, finding you the cutest little thing. She sure was suprise to find a new sinner with Alastor, and one Alastor was so protective over, but she left it be, finding you precious and telling you stores from her time while sharing tea.

• though, a few of the staff of the hotel were,,, concerned for you. Husk especially. Having the Radio Demon on your back was certainly something new and worrying to him. Maybe he got you under contract, too. When he asked you about it, you shrugged it off and smiled like you hadnt even noticed! It baffled him, and how your mood didnt seem to dim when Alastor came around to check up on you.

• Vox, well, lets just say he may or may not have been the first overlord to actually notice you and your presence with Alastor. He has camaras everywhere, especially hidden outside of the hotel, he dosnt miss anything. So when he realized that the Radio demon was being friendly with a someone new he was not a happy camper

• he ended up confronting Alastor about it during their next meeting. And the way he quickly shut up apon noticing Alastors mood shift when you were mentioned had him traumatized. Velvet had to help him fix his screen after that

• Alastor is quite protective over you, even if you dont realize it, he has one of his little weird minions keeping an eye on you at all times when he isnt there, just to make sure you dont do something stupid.

-EXTRA-

• if you, instead of being a weak newcomer, started making a name for yourself withoit wasting any time, maybe killing off demons left and right or taking down a few overlords, you definitely have his attention

• you remind him of his old new sinner self, so he happily makes his presence known to you, and openly offers to guide you to make a name for yourself like he did

• he would show you how to take down even the most powerful overlords, collect souls to feed your power, and even how to keep your clothes from getting messy after killing so many!

• you are much like his apprentice. Following him wherever he goes and listening to him teach you about something.

• if you become powerful like him, you two become a quick and good duo! Both pf you being feared!

• though, he still makes sure you dont hurt yourself. No matter how powerful you have become, he makes sure you dont slip up and hurt yourself, or let someone hurt you. <3

[miuszn]

HII!! i love your writing sm, so i wanted to send in a request. I KNOW THIS IS SO CLICHÉ AND OVERDONE 😭😭 BUT could you possibly write a seven minutes in heaven scenario with ellie or abby. maybe reader n ellie/abby don’t really like each other, or they have tension ?? idk

seven minutes

SETTING : college / modern au

WC : 3120

WARNINGS : not beta read , fingering , cunnilingus ( r!recieving both ) , kinda vanilla again ( sorry ) , top!ellie , one-sided rivalry , intentional lowercase , this might kinda seem like dubcon but it’s not reader is just shy , english isn’t my first language and i’m not perfectly fluent so there might be mistakes ( lmk if there’s any )

A / N : hii everyone !! aaa im so glad i finally finished this 😭😭 i love these corny cliche scenarios soooo much but only when it’s w women otherwise it’s just so bleh . women do everything better so true !! anywhooo i hope u guys enjoy this and tysm for requesting this bc i wanted to write something like this but didnt think anyone would want it .. ALSO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ABBY WHEN I STARTED WRITING BC I SAVED THE ASK TO DRAFTS TO KEEP IT THERE N ONLY NOTICED NOW JFJDHDKDJ pls forgive me .. ill include ellie & abby tension over reader in the future i promise 🙏🙏

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dina, i’m not going.”

you had no idea how many times you told her this, but you weren’t planning on changing your mind. you had gone to a few parties here and there, sure, but it wasn’t really your thing. you enjoyed going to them every once in a while to go out and loosen up, get your mind off of stress, but that was it. you weren't particularly crazy about it at the same level of other people your age, not even as much as dina, who’s considered a more casual partygoer. you had given her some excuse about having a project to work on, but the truth was, that wasn’t your concern. in fact, you didn’t have a project to work on at all. you made it all up. you even considered going to that party when dina first told you about it, but a few days later you overheard some classmates talk about how ellie williams out of all people would be going.

ellie ellie ellie. she drive you nuts for all the wrong reasons. you could tell she disliked you from the start, which that in itself made you dislike her as well. you wondered what you could’ve possibly done to anger her. but your dislike for her only grew when you realized just how irresponsible she was. she slept in, often came hungover to class, and yet she still scored the highest. even higher than you. and that really set you off. you had been an overachiever all your life, and all of a sudden some loser who doesn’t even put any effort into anything is beating you at everything. but most of all, it intrigued you a little more than it did anger you. you wished you could take a peek into her brain and see how the hell she managed to do it. your first thought was she copied answers off of people. seemed the most logical, right? but she was scoring the highest. how the hell could she score higher than anyone that she could even copy off of? hell, she even answered open-ended questions more detailed and well-written than you did. it didn’t make any sense. that’s the worst part of it all. you couldn’t even come up with a logical explanation as to how she could even do this.

little did you know, though, she was completely aware of your one-sided rivalry, and she found it adorable. she never tried to compete with you, but she thought it was hilarious watching you try so hard to compete with her. the first time she saw you, she was immediately drawn to you. your spotless image, valedictorian from your high school who had a perfect gpa and perfect test scores. you were perfect. but she wanted to see you crack. she wanted to see what was under all those layers (both figuratively and literally) and see what you were truly like. she knew you seeing her put in no effort into school yet still doing better than you would anger you. that’s exactly what she wanted. sure, she was in a way getting you to hate her, but it was a risk she was willing to take just to get a reaction out of you. and little did you know, you were attracted to her. and she was aware.

“come on, i don’t know why you’re acting like this all of a sudden,” dina whined. “you said you’d come along when i first told you about it.”

“i said i’d think about it,” you corrected her. “i’m just not really feeling it. besides i already told you i have this project to work on.”

“what’s it for?”

“it’s, uh..” you tried to come up with a lie on the spot. “it’s for calculus.”

“no way, we have a project in that class?” she asked, surprised, “i can’t believe i had no idea! when is it due?”

shit. you forgot you had that class with her.

“it’s for tomorrow, i think..” you kept going along with your lie.

“bullshit,” she laughed, “if we really had a project due tomorrow you would already have it done. and there’s no way i’d miss a project for that class!”

“fine,” you sighed, “i just needed an excuse so you’d leave me alone. but i really don’t want to go.”

“nope, because you lied you have to come.”

“why?!”

“because it’s fair!” she said, “besides, you definitely owe me one for going to that stupid concert with you the other day.”

you rolled your eyes. “you said you enjoyed it.”

“yeah, well, i lied. do you seriously think i’d ever like-“

“alright that’s enough!” you sighed. “i’ll go. but we are leaving early that night”

“deal.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“dinaaa, hurry up!” you knocked on the bathroom door. the main downside of sharing an apartment with your best friend was the fact she took forever to get out of the bathroom. you both decided it would be a good idea, you found a nice complex near campus and the rent was almost the same as a dorm room, so it was a no-brainer.

“five minutes!” she yelled back. five minutes my ass, you thought. at least this time you thought ahead of time and got in there before her. your outfit wasn’t anything fancy, of course, but you still wanted to dress cute. you had a black tube mini-skirt and white baby tee, just something you threw on that was comfortable but still looked alright. you had struggled a little to decide what to wear, you didn’t want to stand out too much but you still for some reason wanted to impress ellie deep down. you just brushed this off as an unwanted thought and ignored it, but it continued to linger in your mind. why do i even care what she thinks of me? you asked yourself.

about fifteen minutes later, dina finally came out of the bathroom.

“you said five”

“well, i still look good, don’t i?” she jokingly posed.

“yeah, yeah, whatever. let’s get going.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

if there was one thing you could absolutely not stand about house parties, it was the stench inside the house. god was it awful. half of these people were frat boys who didn’t know what deodorant was and had been sweaty all night, and all this mixed with the smell of alcohol just made matters worse. most of the people were inside the house enjoying the music and the drinks, but you simply hung outside with dina chatting while drinking out of those cliche red cups you see in movies. you really couldn’t wait to get out of there, but yet again, that little voice in the back of your head made you think about ellie. you thought it was good you didn’t see her, but at the same time, you wanted to see her. it was a strange feeling. you couldn’t tell if it was curiosity, intrusive thoughts, or attraction. whatever it was, there was no way it was the last option.

about an hour passed and you were starting to get bored. just as you were about to suggest to dina you leave, a group of 8-ish people came out of the house to the backyard. among them was ellie. the moment you saw her you realized just how attractive she is. you had never looked at her enough to tell, but now it was evident. now you were even more confused. but you simply told yourself you can think she’s attractive and not be attracted to her.

you were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize one of the guys was talking to you and dina had to hit you on the shoulder to get your attention.

“is this chick high or something?” one of them laughed.

“uh- no- sorry. just kinda pensive.” you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact with ellie, and luckily this time you managed to do so. it just would’ve made things way more awkward.

“anyway-“ one of the guys started. “we were thinking since none of us wanna be with those people inside the house, we could just do something else to have fun.”

“what’re you thinking?” dina asked.

“7 minutes in heaven.”

you and dina were both a little stunned. you would’ve thought about some other thing, but you decided to go along with it anyway. not like anything could go wrong.

you all sat in a circle, and one of them began explaining the rules.

“simple, you spin the bottle, whoever it lands on, you have to go in the shed for 7 minutes and do any romantic or sexual act. kissing, making out, having sex even. but there has to be some proof you did something. if you didn’t do anything in the 7 minutes or refused to do anything in the first place, you take a shot. everyone got it?”

everyone nodded, and the game began. most people took a shot, about half an hour of the game went by and not a single person had gone into the shed. you landed on a few of the guys and vice versa, and while most of them were totally down to go in the shed with you, you most definitely weren’t. you weren’t sure if it was just you imagining things, but you felt you saw the slightest bit of anger and jealousy in ellie’s eyes anytime the bottle landed on you and the guys wanted to go in the shed with you, and she was relieved any time you took a shot. you found it strange. why did it matter to her? but you were sure you were just making things up.

you were starting to feel more and more tipsy from the drinks, standing on the line between drunk and sober. you were self-aware enough to tell yourself to not have any more drinks. one more spin, you told yourself. that was it. you spun the bottle, and surprise surprise, it landed on none other than ellie herself.

there was an awkward silence for a moment. you didn’t know what to do. it would be super awkward if either one of you accepted and the other declined.

one of the guys broke the silence first. “sooo.. are y’all going in the shed or not?”

“depends on her.” ellie smirked.

your face got a little hot. a soft red tinted your cheeks and you nodded, accepting in the heat of the moment. you were sure it was just your drunk mind making the decisions for you, but it wasn’t. you were very aware of the decision you had just made. but it hadn’t hit you yet. not until she walked behind you into the shed and shut the door.

“didn’t think you were into me like that,” ellie broke the silence. “i always thought you hated me or somethin’.”

you didn’t really know what to say. you mumbled some nonsense trying to come up with something fast.

“do i make you nervous?” she asked.

“sort of..” you were able to respond.

“ohh, i see,” she interrupted. “you just pretended to hate me for whatever reason.”

“no!” you protested. “i wasn’t pretending- i mean, i don’t hate you, it’s just. ugh.”

you gave up on trying to explain yourself when you realized just how childish and irrational you acted. seriously, disliking someone for outperforming you at your big age? the more you thought about it, the more embarassed you were about it. was it the alcohol doing this to you? it was all so confusing.

“why’d you accept to come into the shed with me?”

you didn’t respond, just shrugged. you didn’t know. you must’ve woken up on the wrong side of bed or something. you were acting very irrational today, and it’s like someone else was making decisions for you.

you didn’t realize she had pretty much backed you against one of the walls of the small room until now. this feeling, that you couldn’t quite put a name on, was so sudden and so foreign. did you have feelings for her that you had just been pushing away all this time because of jealousy? if not, what the hell was it?

her hand wandered up your skirt, stopping right before reaching your cunt. she looked up at you as if asking for approval, and although you hesitated for a moment, it’s as if your body made the decision for you and you nodded.

she didn’t waste any time and dipped her hand in your panties, rubbing circles on your clit to tease you, causing you to whimper and moan softly.

“so classy and put together whenever i see you, but look at you right now,” she teased. “no one would ever think you’d be whimpering for me like this.”

you blushed and looked away in embarrassment. you didn’t get why that made you blush. so many thoughts were racing through your head, so many conflicting feelings. yet you didn’t try to pull away, even though you had many opportunities to do so.

her touches weren’t enough and you were starting to get desperate, causing you to lightly buck your hips back and forth trying to feel her more.

“oh? someone’s desperate,” she chuckled. “alright, princess, i’ll give you what you want.”

you weren’t sure what she meant by that or what she was planning to do, but, for whatever reason, you trusted her.

she pulled her hand out of your panties, making you whine at the lack of contact.

“don’t worry, baby,” she said, getting down on her knees, her face at the level of your cunt. “i’ll take care of you real good.”

she started pulling down your panties and threw them somewhere on the floor, motioning you to put your leg on her shoulder. you seemed hesitant, thinking your leg might be kind of heavy for her to support on her shoulder. but she assured you it’d be fine.

her mouth was now millimeters away from your cunt. “if it’s too much, tell me to stop.” she looked up at you. you nodded, a little scared, but you still wanted to trust her.

she gave a long lick along your slit to tease you, making you gasp from the contact. she started mercilessly licking and sucking on your clit a little more intensely than you’d like her to, but at the same time, you liked it. you couldn’t tell her to stop. whimpers and moans came out of your mouth, being all that could be heard inside the small room aside from the wet sounds of ellie’s mouth on your cunt. you struggled more and more each second to stand as your legs wobbled and trembled from the sensation. she slid a finger inside you with ease, thrusting it in and out of you at a rapid pace which made you struggle to contain your moans that you started trying so hard to conceal since they only kept getting louder and louder. you had only been in that shed for about 6 minutes, but you were already about to reach your climax. and ellie was aware of this. she sped up her pace a little more, slurping up your juices like it was nothing.

after a moment, she lifted your leg from her shoulder and held your arm while getting up to make sure you could stabilize your footing.

“you okay?”

you nodded, and suddenly you realized what had just happened. ellie williams ate you out. you let the girl you swore you hated so bad eat you out, and you enjoyed it. you didn’t know what was the most shocking; that she didn’t hate you too, that she was even attracted to you, that she wanted to eat you out, or that you just let her. you weren’t sure wether you regretted it or not.

“what, you’re surprised you liked it or something?” she laughed, as if she had read your mind.

you felt your cheeks tint a slight red, and looked away in embarrassment, confirming she was right.

“shut up.” you rolled your eyes, turning to leave, but she grabbed your arm and stopped you.

“listen,” she looked into your eyes. “if you want, we can just forget about this. we don’t have to tell ‘em what happened.”

you nodded, and you both awkwardly walked back to the circle.

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

when you sat back down, dina looked you up and down and giggled.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you whispered to her.

“you think we’re dumb?” she giggled. “there’s a reason neither of you had to take a shot. like for example, your messy hair.”

you realized it was obvious, and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole right there. you had a lot of different feelings about what just happened, but the main one was embarrassment. it would’ve been one thing if it happened and you didn’t like it, but the fact that you enjoyed it was humiliating. not only did you like it, but you wanted more. you started to take a liking to her, and you hated that.

after about 15 more minutes, everyone got tired of the game and decided to end it. you and dina decided to just go home now, although it was a little early, since you hadn’t been enjoying yourselves much.

as you waited on the front lawn of the house for your uber to get there, you heard a voice calling from behind.

“dina!”

you both turned around and surprise surprise, it was ellie.

“what is it?”

“can i talk to your friend real quick?”

you and dina looked at each other, and you sighed and decided to talk to her. you thought it’ll be quick, and if anything, when the uber arrives you can use it as your get out of jail free card.

you walked over to her and she seemed to be abnormally tense.

“i just, uh. i wanted to ask if you were fine after all that.” she mumbled with a genuine expression on her face.

“ellie, it’s fine.” you sighed.

“are you sure?”

“yes, don’t worry about it. seriously.”

you thought that was it, but she clearly had something else on her mind.

“ellie, spit it out.”

“well, also,” she looked up at you, “i wanted to ask you for your number. i don’t think i’ve ever actually talked to you aside from today.”

you chuckled in disbelief at the audacity this girl had. clearly she knew you’d say no, and just wanted to rile you up. but you wouldn't give her that satisfaction, so you dropped the expression immediately and instead had a calm look on your face.

“maybe some other time, babe”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

A / N : u guys know i don’t rlly like adding notes at the end of my fics but i felt i must clarify the last sentence isn’t reader having a complete 180 change of personality all of a sudden rather just acting different than she was right before leaving to sort of leave ellie stunned if that makes sense but i didn’t know how to end it and clarify that eheh also i might make a part 2 of this after i finish my next fic and the part 2 to my other fic if u guys want it <3 also ONCE AGAIN english is not my first language i’m not completely fluent yet and i write as a way to practice ++ i don’t have a beta reader sooo if u guys find mistakes PLEASE let me know !! thx for reading <33

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[angy-grrr]

okay help im getting nervous dnksndjasndjndkad this week is going to be a long one IM GOING TO FAINT WHILE WAITING FOR THE CHAPTER ADKAJDKAJDK

explanation under the cut? im just venting kind of about the interpretation of Izuku-Shigaraki and Ochako-Himiko as the "same"

People keep saying they should bond like that in chapter 429 because they both are sad over failing in saving their villains, and feel the same way about them, and I just dont know.

Am I really seeing Ochako and Himiko's interactions as more than what was intended?

They are just so different from Izuku's and Shigaraki's; these have a touching moment like when they bumped heads as children, which was so sad and adorable before AFO decided to get involved, but its just... not the same, right? He didnt cry for him, he wasn't sad because he wanted a world with him in it specifically, but because this isnt what he wanted to do. He feels guilt, and has conflictive emotions over being considered an admirable hero when he killed someone; Spinner's eyes, judging and full of hatred for him, flashing in his mind while being told he inspired someone to move. From my point of view it does affect him of course, but its about their society around them -he asks about how things could be different and tries to be responsible, he acts in order to do what he thinks is right.

Ochako's feeling guilty? Is that really what it is? Is that wound a reminder of her own perceived failure as a hero? Im sure she does feel also guilt, but its that it? Himiko motivated her to go against what was considered right in the script of heroes and villains and went out of her way just to tell her "your smile is cute, I rejected you because I didnt understand how you could look so happy and free to do so, and I envy it". Did Deku ever had something like that with Tomura? I can see how he changed him, yeah, but did he even like him? He didnt know him, not like Ochako did with Himiko, right?

This is why he isn't crying over his death, or was desperate over the idea of him ending like that -he tried his best with what he had, and just like he told Ochako maybe a battle was inevitable but he also wanted to reach out to that inner child; he accepts the battle and is willing to attack as we clearly saw, and at the same time he wanted to stop the pain somehow.

Ochako wasn't willing to hurt her, didnt try even if she hurt her or her friends. They both arent killers and prefer to protect the people around them, but Izuku does hurt him multiple times and doesnt doubt about doing it -his regrets come from being too late, so he wonders if there are ways to intervene before and avoid this much pain from forming. Ochako and Himiko do have a feeling of what could have happened if I just met you before, Toga directly wonders about it. Am I reading it wrong if I see them as different? Their relationship is just more personal and emotional to me, so Ochako here is crying and was crying over losing Himiko. When she remembers in that moment the cliff scene and Izuku's words about maybe a battle being inevitable but not ignoring what he saw deep inside him... shes not glad or happy about reaching to Himiko's sadness, because it led to her disappearing and willing to die for her. She starts crying and I just see it as her realizing this doesnt make anything better, she wants her to be alive. She got into her heart, and its not enough if she dies.

She preferred to die, before letting Himiko to sacrifice herself for her.

Are Izuku and Ochako truly feeling the same for the villains? So many people think they share this guilt, and just handle it differently. That this is about failing in saving them, and wanting to be a different type of hero.

Am I just reading it all wrong?

[thegoober010]

HELLO! PAW PRINT ANON IS BACK!

I ABSOLUTELY ADORED THE ONESHOT!!! IM GOING INSANE ITS SO GOOD!!!

I have a bit of a different request this time! (It’s not Mettaton, I know, shocking.)

Could you do some Sans x reader headcanons? Preferably hurt/comfort if thats alright :33

IF IM SENDING TOO MANY REQUESTS PLEASEEE DO SAY SO!! I DONT WANNA OVERWORK YOU!!!

-🐾

AAAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <333!!!

AND ITS TOTALLY FINE PAW PRINT ANON MWEHEHHE DW I LOVE DOING REQUESTS <333!!! AND OMG ITS NOTR METTATON RELATED!!!?!??!? shocking!!! absolutely BAFFLING!!

JKJK LMAO OFC I CAN DO THIS :)!! IT WOULD BE HELPFUL FOR NESXT TIME BTW LIKE WHAT TYPE OF HURT LIKE IF THE READER GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH THEM OR MAYBE THEY NEED COMFORT AFTER A BREAKUP OR IF THEY NEED COMFORT AFTER RELAPSING, AN ED, OR SUM THATD BE HELPFUL FOR NEXT TIME BTW <33!! IMA JUST DO IT THAT THEY HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK TODAY THE READER WORKS AT LIKE GRILBYS OR SUM TEEHEE

SANS X READER HERE WE GOOO 🗣🗣🗣

TW/CW -> None really- Just a depressed reader!

word count -> 1k/1164! I didnt write as much on this post sorry!! im pretty tired rn its 1:15 am where im at rn LMAOOO

"Are you alright?"

Fuck your life, you just came back to the house after a long, grueling, shitty shift. You were so tired you almost collapsed onto the snow before you even made it home. You just wished it was peaceful for once, that you didn't feel burnt out, overwhelmed all the time, you just wanted to sleep and never wake up, maybe then you wouldn't feel so tired. As you opened the door you placed your bag on the couch and made your way to San's room, who was not only your best friend but your boyfriend as well. He always helped you, even though you didn't particularly enjoy talking about your feelings to him especially on nights like this he was always there for you, always making sure you were okay and took care of yourself and had a good rest after these long days. You mumbled to yourself as you opened the door to his room until you realized. "Fuck he's not here." You grumbled. You rubbed your temple as you sat on his bed, you were stressed and you needed him. Why can't he just be there for you? Why does he always have to be off somewhere else and then appear late whenever you need him. It pissed you off even more, you knew you were thinking irrationally, he was always there for you it's only a few times where he can't be and is busy, you were just too stressed to think properly though, too stressed to even think about anything else besides how badly you just need someone to help you out right now. You crawled on top of his bed, covering yourself with the blanket. The shift was honestly terrible, many customers were overly rude at Grilby's today, mostly newcomers, and it was so damn busy you couldn't really do much about those people/monsters, you were so frustrated by all the orders and all the insults thrown your way, in fact you got way less tips than usual which caused you to be even more upset, money wasn't much of a problem but come on! Tears swelled up in your eyes from all the built up frustration from not just this shift, but all the past shifts that were almost the exact same situation, you hated working on those days and how underemployed that place was because you had to work twice as hard due to that as well.

After a good 10 minutes of you laying on the bed, muttering to yourself about all the stuff that happened and about how much you just needed someone for once and crying silently, you heard the door creak open. You wiped away your tears quickly with the blanket, shifting slightly and pretending to fall asleep. You knew it was sans and if he sees you like this he'd ask, and you don't want to bother him with any of your problems. "I know you're not asleep." Sans said walking up to you, he sat on the bed near you. "What happened?" he asked. You let out a sigh as you hugged the blanket tighter. "I don't want to talk about it." You grumbled, your tone annoyed with a hint of sadness. Sans stared at you for a bit before fixing your hair. "Are you sure? I mean you've been coming home more upset than usual, is work alright? Anything happening?" Sans questioned, his tone of voice growing more concerned. You furrowed your brows as you could feel the corners of your eyes sweet up with tears once more. You covered yourself with the blanket, not even daring to look at Sans. "Stop it, just STOP. I told you I'm fine! You don't have to pry into every little detail of my life I just want you here with me I don't want you digging into this I told you I'm fine, I just wanted you here with me, fuck." you yelled at first, calming your voice down as to not wake up Papyrus and to try to calm yourself down. Your voice cracks, you didn't really mean to come off as rude, you're just tired, you don't want him to get worried or to try and fix your problems, you just want him there with you, to give you a hug or just give you comforting words, you don't want him prying too much into this, you don't want him getting worried.

Sans seemed taken aback by your remark. He stayed quiet for a bit before nodding, he understood how you felt. Everyone has different ways they deal with this situation and how they want others to react, some want others to pry into their life and try to help solve their problems, others just want them to be there with them during this but not get too involved in the situation and many other things, everyone reacts differently to this much stress. Of course he was a bit shocked and to be honest a little hurt by your words but he knows you're just stressed and don't mean to be rude. He truly does understand, he knows how you feel, so he will be there for you. "You're obviously not fine, but I understand you don't want me to be involved in the situation, you just want me to be there for you, I understand." Sans replied, he gave you a comforting pat on the shoulder before laying with you on the bed. He let out a long sigh as he crossed his arms behind his head. "Take some deep breathes, that usually helps with stress, and make sure to sleep well." Sans said, you nodded. "Come on, let's take a few deep breathes." Sans said, you rolled your eyes but it does usually help. You did as he said and took a few small and quick deep breathes, trying to make the tension in your body disappear and just try to relax. "Feeling any better?" Sans asked, you shook your head no which caused him to chuckle a bit. "Yeah I kinda thought so. Deep breathes won't immediately make you feel bette but it helps with tension, for now just rest, cry if you want, I'm here for you alright... I won't judge you for being emotional okay. I love you too much for that." Sans said giving a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You nodded, you turned your head to face him and give him a small smile. "I appreciate that.." you muttered, he gives you a quick nod. "No need to do that, just rest, I'm here for you. No matter what happens remember that okay, I'll always be here for you." Sans replied, he wrapped an arms around you, pulling you closer. You let out a soft sigh as you moved closer to him, you closed your tired eyes and felt yourself slowly start to fall asleep in his arms. He kept his arm wrapped around you and watched you slowly fall asleep.

"Sleep well, I'm here, okay."

[imaginespazzi]

Thank you 😊 As long as I survive the night out on the town in DC the evening before should be great ha. (Manifesting a good performance already Washington..). I just hope that the squad is mostly healthy at that point.

Yes for the love of God Indy please start pulling off some wins. Lots of season to go, hoping for the best 🤞. (Also hey Liberty are my other team! 🙌)

Ok, Full Court Press highlight thoughts:

I always just love little behind the scenes looks! Seeing insight to NIL stuff was cool. And I get they dont really have to, but it always slays me that these athletes cant really cook!And I thought it was a really good mix of players with them all being prominent but very different individuals. CC bias was predictable but also logical given Iowa had another run to the title game. I was mostly bothered by the amount of time we had her bf on screen. Like I get thats a significant other, but why are we hearing from this dude constantly? He just didnt really offer anything for the audience as a narrator imo. Also the others just may not be in relationships, but it seemed an odd choice given that just family members were featured otherwise for everyone. Cardoso's journey was really interesting to me. I wasnt aware of all of her tough family circumstances back home. Makes me feel good for her success. And Kiki.. honestly kinda just blindsided by how attractive she is and realization of who her aunt was! (Really brought home the fact that I dont get to watch enough west coast bball lol)

Oh and from your other recent asks - I sincerely hope, as someone who is half Irish, that no one here has ever thought Im British! (Kidding everyone, Ive got a total soft spot for the English and who doesnt adore a pub)

Died laughing at your last tag replying to my ask btw. Not wrong 😅

Best - ☕️

LMAO here's to you having a memorable (in the best way possible) night babe!

AHHH TWIN! The Liberty (please don't embarrass me against the Sky again) and Sun are my two main teams this season so tbh I very much was not rooting for Indiana at all but now? We are Fever fans on this page (that hurt to write actually).

Yes I love the BTS we got and seeing them in their day to day lives out of the court was really refreshing, like they're all so much more than just players and I think we forget that sometimes.

Ugh in general I don't understand why CC's boyfriend gets the attention he does like who the hell is that man even? Literally as plain as toast and just bad vibes all around tbh.

I think Kamilla's part was my favorite tbh. I knew a little bit about her background but really getting into the BTS of it made me feel so much for her. Her reunion with her family was everything and she deserves the whole world.

Kiki really is beautiful. I'm really glad they chose to do UCLA who honestly maybe didn't get the coverage they deserved last year. And getting a little into the Betts stuff, damn.

I'm really hoping we get Paige, Juju and Flau'jae next year, that'll feed families for years to come!

I cackled a little bit writing that tag so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[anxiously-sidequesting]

[Ambrose (derogatory)] anon here (rofl I'm glad you liked that)

I think it's also up to interpretation a bit how old YW is. I mean it's assumed (because of the target demographic) they're like elementary/middle school age ofc. But at Merle's age anything under 50 could be 'young' imo (and they have to call them something, so 🤷).

Do I think YW is in their mid-40s? Probably not lol but they could at least be a young adult (unless there's some canon confirmation I'm forgetting. Which I totally could be XD)

Are there some more capable adults he could get to help? Probably. But that actually leads me to another Thought which is the book of secrets. Clearly it says something about YW being destined to save the spiral yada yada so maybe by default Ambrose trusts and relies on them even when they're not the best equipped - but maybe that's literally WHY the book of secrets says that, because it knows he's gonna put all his eggs in one basket and not bother to get support from anyone else. So it ends up that. Yeah. YW is the one who goes through all this. Thanks for the trauma bro /j

Anyway I do like the idea of the protagonist jumping in and wanting to be the hero (and also being ready to throw down with anybody) because I feel like it fits with the generally helpful but also somewhat chaotic and morally dubious image they've cultivated over their journey. If Ambrose seemed less like he didn't give a fuck (not just about YW but all death students, etc) it'd be a much better dynamic

but we were robbed

(here's hoping some fic writer revamps his character to the wise and supportive headmaster the students deserve)

FIRST OFF YAY IM GLAD I DIDNT SCARE YOU OFF

And that's definitely a good point with how the Wizard's age comes into play! I think the most heinous thing that stands out about canon is that the Wizard is assumed to be a child - probably because the game is geared towards younger kids and most of the fandom by that time WERE young kids, AND the Wizard was essentially supposed to be YOU or an insert that represented you. Also even canon, up until arc 2 or 3, even comments on how young the Wizard is constantly. So it's the fact that an adult person is taking advantage of and using a CHILD and putting them in dangerous situations. For the greater good? Yeah!!! But that's still a little kid. That's the part that kinda stands out when it comes to Ambrose's treatment of the Wizard. A child has no autonomy in a situation when pitted against an adult, a child doesn't know any better to realize what's happening, the child isn't mature enough to have the words or know the actions to stand up for themselves. Combined with the fact that the child is in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar stranger telling them to do things, the child is the completely vulnerable party in this scenario.

If the Wizard was a young adult by the time they were recruited by Ambrose, most of that would be gone. There would still be a power imbalance (Ambrose being the Headmaster and unofficial mentor of the Wizard, who has power and influence over the City guard vs. the Wizard who is just an apprentice with no societal standing or knowledge of the aspiral yet) but AT LEAST an adult would (hopefully) be better equipped to handle themselves. An adult would most likely recognize what's really going on, what the situation is, and is able to rationalize and plan accordingly.

AND YEAH GOOD QUESTION ABOUT THE OTHER CAPABLE ADULTS because yes. Yes there are. There are infinite other choices Ambrose could have chosen before the Young Wizard. At least, for a lot of other issues that don't include saving the Spiral. Like you said Ambrose likes putting all his eggs in a basket and if he can kill multiple birds with one stone, he will. Since the Wizard is already here and the BOS said they were the chosen savior, there's no need to worry about the Other Guys!

Although imo the only way this eager Wizard AU could work in Ambrose's favor if he was like, actually shown to care about the Young Wizard's wellbeing despite his inability to help. It wouldn't be enough for Ambrose to just sit back and do nothing even in his old age when The Wizard is still essentially in danger (despite being eager to put themselves in that position in the first place), I would actually have to see Ambrose take whatever action he could in order for this dynamic to feel more equal and wholesome. Does Ambrose send other companions to help the Wizard out? Does Ambrose sit the Wizard down and gently explain although he appreciates the help, he expects the Wizard to be careful? Does Ambrose use his position of power to help take the load off the Wizard's shoulders every now and then? Does Ambrose take time out of his day to simply have tea with the Wizard and check in on them outside of any Spiral business?

Even if Ambrose was too old to do things himself, he still could do other things to make sure the Wizard was safe, especially if the Wizard was exhibiting some self-destructive behavior. It isn't enough that he's just too old; taking actions to ensure the Wizard's safety and little acts of service that ensures the Wizard KNOWS that they are cared for and loved - THAT'S my ideal Ambrose and Wizard relationship. A bond that feels true and a relationship that's equal where it's less "old man uses child" and "two partners who are in this together". The last part of your ask PERFECTLY captures this that Ambrose needs to SHOW his love and care and protection for the Wizard, not just to say it every once in a while. This is a genius ask and a genius AU you've come up with anon

[formula-fun]

my love. today I read your venom au finally (idk why I was putting it off, probs bc I wanted to enjoy as much of it as possible before I go into venom!max brain rot). RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ABSOLUTELY AMAZING FIC!!!!!!! DETHRONED YOUR OWN ABO FIC FROM MY LIST OF ALL TIME FAVESSSSSSSSS

in all seriousness tho, I loved it so much, max is so silly there:] he's just a big goopy lad who's obsessed with his human and I have to respect it (me too, mate, me too).

now my love, I have a question that burns me which I'm afraid I have to ask: how upset is max that he can't get his human pregnant? and does he make his indignation with charles' biology known? alternatively: mpreg? 🤲🏻? venom style mpreg? 🤲🏻🤲🏻? for me? 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻? lestappen with a lil goop baby that wrecks havoc and who lives in charles' pockets? 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻?

thank u for the fic mwah mwah kissing you loving you all that shabam

my LOVE! thank you sm i'm glad you liked it!! <3333 dethroning if i had words is CRAZY my evil little goo fic has come so far hashasahsah no i have so much fun writing them being silly and bullying each other in charles' brain, it's a good time!!

and im gonna write under the cut because i love this question, i have many many many thoughts. this is also gonna show how little regard i have for the source material unfortunately. but im having FUN

so i wrote a snippet a little while ago abt max's reproductive cycle because apparently this au wasnt weird enough, and basically long story short HE can get pregnant and has in the past, but symbiote babies are very vicious and hungry and their first act in life is usually either to eat their parent or be eaten. so max's parenting instincts are pretty nonexistent. they also reproduce asexually, so his mating instincts are similarly nonexistent. sort of. for a while

max is in love with everything about earth though. he loves that so many creatures instinctively care for the young of even other species, he loves that reproduction is a decision between two parties, he loves that humans devote so much of themselves to raising their young. he finds it all kind of sweet, but the weight of it didnt really click until charles found out max could have babies but was disappointed to learn they couldnt raise them and love them like humans do. its like he hadnt really considered that could even be possible for them, but once he learns there might be a way he goes all warm and soft and max is like ??

cause then max realizes all at once, like. he wants to make something with me. he wants to do the things that humans do when they raise their young, he wants to be with me forever and ever, he wants me because his oldest most ancient instinct thinks i would make a good mate and i would take good care of his babies. he wants to have sex because it feels good and he wants it to be me because he loves me, but maybe also he wants it to be me because he wants me to help him make something thats a little bit of both of us?? and welcome 2 earth alien blob max w a breeding kink

and i dont know, i would like to say they find a way around the problem eventually. maybe there's some way it works out? maybe it's some sort of nature vs nurture situation where max's babies end up being super chill because they were raised in a loving environment, or maybe symbiotes arent driven by a base urge to consume, it's just a product of their hive mind which has been silent since the civil war started. maybe any babies max has end up taking on a lot of charles' characteristics simply because charles was hosting him when they were created. it's possible they find a way around it and get a lil goo ball to call their own. maybe max almost does eat it until he feels how anguished charles is abt it, and then he looks down and registers that their baby is the same soft pink as charles' palms and eyelids and the tips of his ears, and all at once he just can't do it

but yeah definitely a lot of room here for exploration and discovery to say the least dfjskfjsdf

[penumbrialhexandroga]

I put this in a discord chat im in but i wanted to put it here too. Today i got diagnosed by my therapist with c-ptsd.

Hhhh today is a day of surthriving. Had therapy this morning and was rough, but i was able to communicate some of my frustrations well. Got some clarification on stuff. Like he said forget about any of the schizophrenia stuff, i dont have it, so thats a relief. He said for a clinical dx i do have CPTSD. And that my episode that id had before when i started seeing him was a dissocaitive episode. So it was nice to get clarification on that i was thinking it was like a psychotic or manic or something but dissociative makes sense with what all went on. Ugh gah but then talked with a real young part and stuff coming up and just ugh fuck i hate. People. Just very heavy. Having things validated. But im so grateful for the coping mechanisms ive developed. Hhhhhhh fuck its just hard. Heavy heavy heavy. Just trying so hard to keep every thing contained so i can get through work. Thank god for Work Mode 🙏. Id been dxed with ptsd already but i did suspect it was cptsd but man having that validated by a therapist ugh i just feel like ive been taking punches and punching brick walls >.< idk i just wanted to express this all somewhere. "Put it out there"

Thats what i put in the chat earlier.

Idk i wanted to write about it i guess. He was saying too how like a diagnosis yknow its fluid it can change. Which im fully on board with i know it can only really be a snapshot of your current whatever experiences. But one thing i really appreciate about getting that dx and that validation and assurance is that it supplies me the language to tell my story. I realized that that was one issue that i had with how generally non-pathologizing my therapist is. Its also something i appreciate about him though, but i just felt like i couldnt really. Like not even tell my story but know my story. I felt lost and confused and uncertain about what my experience was and how i fit in with the world and people around me.

Who really am i? What defines me as an individual? It helps me answer these questions more fully. Not to say my diagnoses are all that i am or can capture the complexity of me as a being.

Its incredibly validating to do this work. I feel alive and autonomous in a way i never really have before. Some of the parts i work with are so so young. If i wasnt doing this work with a therapist i dont think i would really be able to do it. So im very grateful for my circumstances that allow me that. Although i can tell my therapist wants to do more frequent sessions, but it is expensive and insurance sucks so. Idk. Is what it is.

Ugh but this work also fucking sucks and makes things so so hard. But i know im better for it. Gahhahahshbsgdgdgdhd.

Oh man im also really glad too he labeled what that episode was. I was thinking it was a psychotic or manic and maybe i had bipolar, bc some of my family has been dxed with that. But no he said it was CPTSD. and a dissociative episode. Which man even just writing that out again its just. I cant even really identify how it makes me feel its just this kinda hmmm pressure?? Electrical flux? Along the back of my head.

Im grateful for being able to communicate better with my parts too. I was able to get across some things today that i havent been able to for a while and im glad things went well, even if it got tough. Really friggin tough. I know im moving in the right direction.

Id already been diagnosed with ptsd but that was through my psych who specialized in autism and idk it didnt really sink in. Its different now getting diagnosed by someone who knows me very well, ive been seeing him for like over two years now, so i have a lot of trust in his oppinion. But gosh so many raw nerves. Plus its c -ptsd which like, doesnt mean its worse than ptsd or anything lol some people seem to think that but thats more what i was suspecting. It just made more sense to me than standard ptsd with all the dissociation. But i feel really validated and seen and heard and hmm self assured even! Which is so rare for me. I feel like there was a lot of movement and change today. So this post is really just to commemorate it all. Getting diagnosed with cptsd tho, for me its very different than it was getting diagnosed with autism. Maybe thats because of meeting with that part right after tho :/

[grumpy-zane]

'The Party' - Scruffshipping

'Get me the hell out of here...' Ronin thinks as his weaving became more frantic.

So maybe it wasnt the smartest idea to sneak into a fancy party right next door to the place he 'aquired an item' from, it seemed so at the time but by now the police were around combing through. Thankfully the building was big, it would buy him enough time to plot out an escape route... if the authorities didnt already have REX surrounded.

"Hell," Ronin glanced out of a passing window as he climbed up the stairs to the second floor. "No quick way out, no REX," he pushed a large door closed behind him and hid out into a suit closet, "why did I do this in the first place."

And it was then he realized the buzzing in his pocket. It was Dareth, informing him that he would be late to the date, typical. This time Ronin was glad for it at least, although it was a reminder that this fiasco he was in was because he wanted to *get* Dareth something.

He didn't even *know* if the man wore earrings or not, and these ones were heavy in his pocket.

'I'll be late too.' Ronin replied, siking down into the clothes.

The meatballs popped up on the screen almost immediately. 'r u OK'

'Yeah just caught up'

'should i can it?'

Can it? That was the last thing he wanted to do, but it seemed inevitable... unless...

'Dareth I need an out im hiding at a party and i need a distraction'

'WHAT' Ronin could practically hear his exasperated tone. 'R U STEALING RN'

'Will talk later pls pick me up for our date XOXO ;)' Ronin sent him a location ping before stuffing his phone back in his pocket. Hiding in a closet wasnt exactly ideal, what he needed to do was blend in until Dareth showed up- it couldn't be that hard right?

And thankfully the room was dark and unoccupied, closed off for the party. The first thing he put on was a hat that clashed with his off green suit. It was the only thing he wanted to put on, but he would have to do better than that.

The door closed behind him again as the dark teal boots stamped their way down the wooden landing. They matched the teal coat he wore, and the copper bowtie around the neck. He really should have gone with black, but the colour wasnt that pronounced as he stood on his own.

In a sea of people, however, he felt like a sore thumb.

"Drink, sir?" One of the catering waitors offered a platter.

"Ah, no thanks." No use doing that right now.

A woman approached him, "why Ive never seen you before- care to dance?"

"Err, sure," Ronin smiled and let her take him. The two stepped about and twirrled to the waltz, something he was glad Dareth taught him how to do. Who knew it would come in handy?

"Tell me about yourself, your eye." She offered, "you look like a man with a lot of stories."

He caught a glimpse of a guest speaking to an officer, who pointed towards his general direction. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't," he pulled her around towards the back of the dancing bodies, "would you believe me if I said I'm in the middle of one now?"

She laughed, "oh? And what role do you play?"

"The one who got away," he spun her close before spinning her out and letting go.

She gave him an odd look before suddenly looking apologetic and stepping back into the dance. He watched her, confused, before turning around and nearly running into another woman.

This one stood taller than him, especially in heals, and narrowed her eyes as she read him. She was espcially sparkly in her tight red dress and star-shaped earrings, the faux feather scarf framing her neck and face. "Um-" Ronin started but was abruptly hushed. She walked her two nails up his nose while her other hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the crowd.

'This was getting weird, where's Dareth?' Ronin asked himself as he looked around. As he did so, he noted that they were being followed- closed in on. The woman's footsteps became faster until she was practically draggign him behind like a ragdoll. Ronin stumbled and was pushed aside to the left by her. He scrambled and wound up by the enterance, below the eye-line of anyone looking over.

The woman turned around and Glared at the officer that approached her, standing taller than him and staring him down. Whatever the officer was telling her, she wasn't having any of it.

Ronin slipped through the door and spotted the brown and gold motorcycle parked between a few cars, a helmet just waiting to cover his face. He smiled and fitted it on, taking out his phone to text Dareth that he was outside, but was stopped by a familiar set of nails.

Ronin slowly looked up at her, frozen.

"Hey," an offputting and familiar masculine voice escaped her smile, "nice suit, colours look good."

"Dareth!?" Ronin shouted, "I didn't know you- since when did you-"

"Mama's pride," he kissed the feather scarf and started up the bike, "never lets me down. Come on Roni, lets go get Dinner."

[tylerdashart]

(spoilers for TDP season 4)

OKAY. so i dont really do these kinda posts but id like to say a few things about season 4 cus ive seen some things and the fandom making theories, i just like to write about my own thoughts. ive watched s4 only one time due to not having netflix so i dont really remember many scenes.

"season 5 when?" are you good?? the season 4 just dropped 3 days ago! Im serious when i say ive seen multiple people already posting this question mostly on YT comments or Insta. also the fact that they're not artists OR a fic author makes sense honestly. they have no idea how animation works.

"rayla's acting weird" this is what frustrats me the most. NO she's not... ok maybe a little. but like. come the fuck on, she was gone for 2 years. ofc she's not the same person we saw in season 3. people change. plus, personally, i dont see any difference on her except this one time when callum asked her to...kill him. yes rayla acted a lot calm in that scene- not just that scene really. she was so calm most of the time, but i can see why? she's trying to get callum warm up to her, she's giving him space, she's being gentle as much as she can cus she knows how much she hurt him. she's grown up, she's not the same hot-headed, irritated elf anymore. and we all know how she hides her feelings. Im pretty sure she's gotten used to it, or managed to cope her feelings well so that she can stay calm. lastly about rayla, all i have to say is people change, so does rayla. and no she's not fake at all.

firstly, if rayla's acting weird, what about Viren being supportive with Terry? isnt that weirder? he didnt even treat his own son better, but he's supporting a trans fella? sus.... secondly, what about opeli being so chill about Ez going with Zubia. in that case most of the characters in s4 were out of character. and that's okay cus it's been 2 fucking years!

personally i think the "Zubia in Katolis" scene was a bit rushed. they couldve done it better but Im not saying it was bad at all tho! i loved the scene with the whole callum doing magic thing and the dragon sized jelly tart? xD

"why is rayla back?" why not really. she realized it was useless to find viren and came back home? she realized she wanted to see her mage? "we had something so special. but I became so obsessed with revenge, i.. risked losing the best thing ive ever had... you" she CLEARLY missed him yall. ofc she came back.

"where's the rayllum kiss" Im glad we didnt get a rayllum kiss. I know this is a cartoon show but at least the animators made it similar to how an in-real-life relationship works. people dont just go "you were gone for two years but its okay, i forgive you, lets kiss". Callum needs time to get used to being around rayla again. he's happy but also angry, he needs to see how hard rayla's trying to win callum's trust back. it was so clear that callum got a bit comfortable with rayla again in the last few episodes, especially the last one. That hug was enough sign for us to know they're gonna be okay and that they're still deeply in love.

Stella isNT EVIL YALL. leave my poor baby girl alone >:c

the fart joke was......nuhuh. idk if it's just me but it was gross. i dont wanna remember how much i cringed.

claudia was a bit- no fuck it- she was too much this season. especially in that scene where she tricked rayla with pebbles. god that hurt so much.

Lastly, Season 4 was amazing!! i loved season 4, and all the new things we saw. the arc is building up, it's so interesting, im so excited for season 5.

[thegeminisage]

SEARCH FOR SPOCK breakdown

i watched THIS movie three days ago and im still not over it. incoherent phone liveblogs translated to normal human language below:

firstly, this movie is extraordinarily quiet. even with my computer and browser volume and 100% i still couldn't hear it. we had such trouble finding a copy that was both loud and subtitled i had to download my own - even actually starting a free paranmount plus trial didn't work because their website is GARBAGE and refused to load the movie for me on any browser. which meant losing one day. and then the second day i was out of town. i had to wait SO LONG to start searching for spock. i basically forgot the first 12 minutes of the film bc of those two lost days

uhura was very hot in this movie. i love how she had stuff to do. idk how she keeps getting hotter every movie but she's the most beautiful woman in the world i think. her telling that little ensign to get into the closet while calling him a good boy was maybe the sexiest thing she's ever done. i wish she had gotten to go with them the whole time!

the absolute screaming that ensued when kirk found bones sitting in a pitch black room with spock's voice coming out of his mouth. like i said i knew vaguely about this but i did not expect him to be FUCKING POSSESSED??? i need to find time to read 4000 spones fics about this specifically if anyone has recs i am soliciting them

everything was so good. the comment about poison in a bar not being logical. the failed nerve pinch. him being able to suddenly act as first officer. mwah

i like the snowy cacti on genesis even though most of those sections lagged for me personally. not like computer lag but like. psychologically. and baby spock was so cute!! teenage spock did not need to be fucking his former student who is now way older than him tho. that was wack. sorry saavik

the entire section of busting bones out of prison and stealing the enterprise is one of my favorite trek scenes from everything i've seen so far, actually. it's exciting, it's funny, it's heartwarming, the chemistry is off the charts, and they all truly feel like a family.......cathy said it best but this is what aos was missing tbh

ALSO I TOTALLY RECOGNIZED LEONARD NIMOY'S VOICE IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT. am i faceblind maybe a little bit but my ear never fails me

very shocked to see christopher lloyd in this movie. his makeup was um questionable. but he did a great job

we went back and forth for awhile on whether or not bones realized he was possessed. i guess "you're suffering from a mind meld" wasn't specific enough. like did he know spock was IN THERE. but we didnt know for sure until jim was like "how are we doing" and bones was like "WE are doing just fine thank you but i'd rather he have just taken a kidney" which was fucking hilarious. third best best line after "i've got all his marbles" and "THAT GREEN BLOODED SON OF A BITCH THIS IS REVENGE FOR ALL THE ARGUMENTS HE LOST" he's so iconic. like it wasn't actually just revenge for the stunt he pulled in the empath.

deeply mourning the enterprise. i knew there were different enterprises and that they had to blow her up eventually bc spoilers but this is the one and only first ever enterprise TO ME. watching her go down in flames was almost as painful as watching spock die. rest in peace queen :(

absolutely FLOORED they fridged david. i didn't expect them to do that ever but i'm SO glad they did bc 1. cry bitch and 2. i didn't actually care about him. despite them finding spock on genesis those parts of the movie felt slowest to me because spock wasn't able to like, Be Spock and i just did not care about david. i like saavik but i liked her better when she wasn't fucking spock. so. perfect choice

final fight was good. i was like I DONT CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW ME SPOCK but then i gasped every time one of them almost bit it. rip christopher lloyd's character he did a great job

did i burst into tears when kirk held spock and pointed a gun at people? yeah

however what we missed was the bit where bones goes to hold him instead when kirk has to put him down. truly the mcspirk movie of all time.

bones going "i choose the danger" HE IS SO IMPORTANT i love him so much

having absolute kittens in the section where i had to wait to find out if they put spock's katra back. like obviously they were gonna. did i start crying again when spock started talking? YEAH. i knew he was gonna have amnesia but i forgot so i got to be surprised anyway. and then also cried through the credits too bc ofc i did. spock is so important. bones tapping his temple at the end was everything though

idk why everyone says the odd ones are all bad! 1 was bad and i know everybody hated 5 but 3 was REALLY GOOD. i liked it even better than wrath of khan - aside from, again, the pon farr thing. there was more interpersonal stuff than in 2 but it didn't lack action and momentum the way that 1 did. it was perfect. there's no way 4 can be better than this. no way. sincerely hoping i eat my words <3

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

What happenes if/when allura shiro and lance meet in the shrödinger reality au? Theres do many ways this meeting could go wrong..........

Also shiro having a brother in this au is such an interesting plot point.. Shiro is slowly descending into madness by his memories halucinations and stuffing severed limbs into potted plants pots and kuro is like 'im so glad my brother has a new hobby:) hes been so passionate about gardening recently! I wonder what fertilizer is he using to make them grow this well.. also why is the floor do slippery nowadays'

and the answer turns out to be maybe-propably-not-real severed body parts

The way i see it (and i am basing this on vibes), that they didnt even notice or remembered. The way Lance's Thing works is that he 1) goes usually unnoticed, like pebbles on a road 2) even if you notice him, or talk to him, or he talks to you as long as you are not the one he's targetting (which rarely ever happens) they dont usually 'recognize' him. It is like how some animals dont recognize their own reflection, maybe some people would feel off about him, some people would be curious about him and some people would be able to notice and remember him (like that one doctor) but ultimately they wont be able to pinpoint what exactly is wrong just a constant feeling of wrongness. 3) they usually wont remember him. They might feel like they are forgetting something, or something is missing but usually they will forget about him.

However again the pebbles on road metaphor applies here. If you dont notice him, you just dont notice him, if you had one passing glance, you'll forget about him instantly, if you noticed him, talked to him, examined him, you are more likely to notice some details meaning you would realize that Something is Wrong, meaning you will remember him for a bit longer.

Which is how i feel Lance's first meeting with Shiro and Allura is going to go. They wont notice him, or recognize him, or remember him. I imagine there's some serial killer case both Allura and Shiro got dragged into with Allura was a witness (she was trying to understand wth us going on and trying to understand this world and oh shit that person just attacked someone) and Shiro kinda being a suspect cause he's being odd according to his friends, and Lance who has decided that he can do a better detective job than the cops (and he's 100% right) and also he thinks said serial killer is the one who 'killed' him. They do meet Lance and because they do remember or have dreamt Lance from their vld timeline, they are able to notice something is off about that guy, but they lose track of him and they kinda forget about him but do keep getting this nagging feeling that they forgot something important

Allura and Shiro do not get along at first. Allura who remembers Everything is like "Shiro? Shiro! Shiro it is you!! It's me Allura!! Oh thank voltron and guardian i found you this world is so strange and a total fake" and Shiro who has been trying to suppress his dreams for past few months is like- "Who tf are you??? I dont know who are you or what this voltron is but please stay away from me" (<=lying). And like Allura who was so desperate to have traces of her old life back, started to pretty much like trying to reach out to him (aka pester him). Eventually Allura is able to convince him that, yeah she indeed is both girl in his dreams but also real and Real af, and while he does Not believe her, he is also just so tired of the paranormal bs he is dealing with and if this Weird stalker lady can help him than on god he's taking that help.

And yep (in my mind his brother is Kuron) and while he doesnt show it, he is Very worried about Shiro. He reasons that he is just coping with his accident and dealing with loss of his arm and dream job and the Trauma™ (and technically he isnt wrong) but he can also tell this is something beyond That. However he has decided that he'll give Shiro space, let him come to him on his own, be supportive and strong and smiley for him. But yeah he's glad that Shiro is getting into a new hobbies, even if he is too into it sometimes.

[neuroticboyfriend]

Hi, I hope you don't mind this ask, I just kind of- wanted a space to verbalize some of my thoughts on my complicated feelings about my own disability. And, idk, maybe this could resonate with some other people too.

Basically, I've sort of considered myself disabled for a little while, because, well. A disability is something that impacts your ability to function and carry out tasks and activities, and my abilities to do those things is certainly impacted. But I always felt guilty for thinking of myself like that, because most of my struggles felt like they only impacted the things I did for leisure, and it felt like I was being overdramatic. Even now, it still feels weird to call myself disabled, like I'm doing something wrong.

I say all of this because it's set-up to the fact that I recently realized that I have a lot less functioning than I thought I did. I am in school, and I have good grades, which is a large part of why I was dismissing everything. But I realized that I still only take four classes, and they're all decently easy work (as in, the intellectual work I have to put into them isn't particularly high), and yet I still rarely go to a full week of classes and can't do much outside of school once I get home from a school day. I do eat regularly, but that's mostly because I'm lucky enough to still live with my very nice father who's willing to cook for me, and when he's not around, I essentially don't eat food that takes any preparation beyond "open a container".

And. It was a very strange experience to come to this realization, and instead of being saddened by it, feeling happy and lifted up. Instead of being crushed by the weight of things I couldn't do, it felt refreshing to newly recognize how surprisingly short my limits are.

Now that I think on it, I believe I know why I felt that joy. On some level, I'd already known my limits, and loathed everything they kept me from doing, but I'd never really made the mental connection that those limits were due to my disability. In addition, it felt legitimizing to my struggles to realize that there was a deeper reason than I'd thought as to why I struggle despite having an easy life. (Of course, disability isn't the only legitimate reason why someone can struggle, but it's hard to apply things you logically know to your own emotions sometimes)

So. If anyone else is still reading this, I guess what I want to say is that it's okay to be glad that you're disabled, or for your first reaction to realizing that you're disabled/more severely disabled than you'd thought to be joy. It can bring you a sense of validation to finally feel like you have a reason for struggling with things most other people seem to find easy. It isn't selfish, and it isn't just "having an excuse to be lazy" or "invading the space of real disabled people".

thank you for sharing your experience; i relate to this, too. and this kinda reminds me of how i felt about being fat. for the longest time, i felt like i was too fat, and didnt deserve to take up so much space. it lead to me having a really distorted, hateful view of my body.

but once i encountered fat liberationists, many of whom were actually bigger than me, things changed. i saw them be happy and fight back. they taught me to stop blaming myself. the fategories allowed me to see myself in relation to other fat people, instead of skinny people through BMI.

im between small-mid fat, but BMI says im morbidly obese. for a while i thought i was just comforted by the idea that i wasnt as fat as I thought i was, but that felt fatphobic to me. until i realized, it was that i realized i wasn't too much, because none of us (fat people) are. all bodies are different, and that includes size, too.

the comfort ultimately came from finally being able to look at my body and see *me* - not the skinny person i was "supposed to be." i was humanized, as who i really am. in both cases - disability and fatness - its recognizing the reality of our existence that affirms us.

[floosies]

" run around just so i dont have to think about thinking. the silent sense of content that everyone gets just disappears soon as the sun sets."

he had the same routine every morning. even on his days off he had a routine. since the first demagorgon he's needed it. he's relied on it heavily. when his parents were home it was easier to forget about the nightmares and worries.

but it never lasted, because to them he was a well behaved boy who needed independence to grow into a responsible man. so after a couple of months at home they'd pack up and head out again. another month or so alone.

it was worse without robin. he would wake up screaming for someone to help him, to save him only to be met with the silence from the empty house. its why he avoided being alone like the plague, why he didnt mind if dustin wanted to have sleepovers or constantly ask for rides to the arcade.

sure he hated scoops ahoy but it meant he wouldnt be left alone with his thoughts. he saw the way dustin and robin enjoyed silence, like a prize after a long day. he wished he could feel the same, but when he sat alone in the silence his mind wandered to every possible way he could have prevented things, questioning if he was really alive, wondering why robin stuck around, if dustin would realize he wasnt worth idolizing.

they didnt know, he didnt want them to know the way his mind had changed so much since the first attack. he just wanted to protect them.

it worsened when he started working at family video. then he really wouldnt let up, every moment was planned, robin was constantly around him, and he went to sleep with the tv on high. on bad nights he even went to bed with his walkman blasting music from the headphones as loud as he could get it. sleep was never the same after everything. they all had that problem, they all knew they felt safer near each other but they also knew it was better to try not to depend on each other too much.

steve's condition, his new dilemma had become so engrained in his every day he slowly started to view it as normal.

(im not leaving it at that. he deserves some love and peace, so keep reading please ♥)

when she got to know him, really know him, she picked up on how he hated ending the day, how he would try and make people stay longer. she had nowhere really to be and would often find herself being the last person at his place.

they'd critize a celebrity on a late night show or the news stories they'd watch on the local news station. he'd bring up random facts that robin or dustin told him.

slowly she would start to stay over. they'd fall asleep with arms entangled tightly. she'd unintentionally end up meeting his parents on a few occassions, but they didnt mind, their minds were elsewhere, never really with their son. but her mind was always with him. she felt for him, she liked him, maybe even more.

it was gradual, but she came to ask him about it, about the nightmares and fears he had. he admitted to feeling selfish for not denying her staying over all the time or constantly calling her. she was robin's friend first, but she made it clear it made her happy to know he saw her as his safety net.

robin had mentioned he'd been through a lot and she was just glad he thought of her as a person he could trust. but by the time they'd had this conversation everyone else had already been miles ahead and knew they shared something more than friendship.

he moved out of his parents home a month or so after and moved in with her. the apartment wasnt big but it felt safe. her home felt like his home, it was welcoming, it was as warm as her. she was his peace, the one he had found hard to come by. he held her just as tightly as he had the first night they slept beside each other, he loved her. she loved him, and the silence in the night was easier, lighter, and sometimes filled with whispers against lips.