#and i am the kind of fan she was calling cringe for other stuff so !!! sorry ofr getting fucking upset !!

[beastabyss666]

The new Mammon and Fizz episode has been released and I wanna put my two cents in.

The palette is oooof........ One of the most "hard to watch" HB episodes. Seriously, hasn't anyone told Vivzie that her colour choices are just utterly failed?

Mammon was simply annoying and cringe, especially considering he's one of the highest "demons". He curses every few seconds, has an Australian accent and is some kind of a rock star(because......because). Oh yeah, he's also a very bad guy, cuz he disrespects women! Also I find it funny that Vivzie said in one of her tweets that she apologizes the fans wouldn't like him, as he's "fat and ugly". In reality, he's just a typical Vivziepop-ish male character, having sharp teeth and eyes without pupils. And his "fatness" is just looking like a Christmas tree with a round body.

Overdetailed backgrounds and sloppy animation, as always. Some moments look reeeeeally stiff. Maybe Vivzie starts drawing easier backgrounds and make characters with less details so the animation was better and faster to produce? Just dreaming.......

The songs are just generic tasteless pop-stuff. Gosh, I just wish they have a better composer cuz it's tiring to hear these cheap pop tunes every time. Maybe get some real rock or something with synthesizer........ I don't know.....

The background characters in this episode look much less like some early Deviantart furry OCs or cosplay freaks, which is a real plus. Take some cuties:

Hee hee goat boy

Hee hee goat girl(kinda accurate to the demonology, love it).

I really like the left amphibia girl, she's so pretty. Also yeah, bg characters really look better than in previous episodes. Almost like they were drawn by someone who actually knows their job well and doesn't make every person look like different art style or different teenager's OC.

Fizz being tired to be a clown for entertainment, having panic attacks, dealing with crazy fans and a shitty boss was honestly a good idea but the final song was just too weak to handle it. If it was done better, it would be really good.

The sigh language kid is cute and it was interesting to see a disabled person being cheered and supported by another disabled person.

Oh wow Viv made another female characters whose entire personality is being bitchy and arrogant(even to each other, though they're sisters they're calling each other whore, bitch etc.). Can't wait for the fanbase to hate these two or lust for them in the worst way possible.

Though there were actually some beautiful and......esthetic frames.

Am I the only one who never understood why Fizzarolli is considered a sex icon in this show? Like, yeah, Mammon said that he'll exploit his "clown employee" in every way possible and it's all for money, but I still don't get the whole "having tons of sex dolls based on him" thing. Who in sanity would buy a sex doll of Fizz? He looks like a stick with limbs and painted face, which is somehow considered sexy by Vivzie or her fans? Wouldn't it be more logical for a woman to be a sex icon? Lots of real women, including teen idols, were sexualized and fetishized for media by their producers and shown as beauty icons. But I just couldn't imagine the same with males. Like, I'm sorry, but to me Fizz who's a circus performer, celebrity and a sex icon is in the same category as Angel Dust who's a porn star, stripper and prostitute at the same time.

I'm very glad there wasn't much Blitzo.

It's funny that this girl looks like a better design for Loona than Loona herself, lmao.

It's actually a progress to see that Vivzie didn't fetishize a romantic relationship between two men and actually showed them as a loving couple which doesn't talk about sex and cocks every five seconds. She actually has put some unexpected effort in it.

Oh wait she didn't—

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 17 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad + chaps updated till 27

What the–, Matt thought as he was currently looking at his Instagram feed. He had decided to browse through Instagram incognito with his second account, but nothing had prepared him for what he was looking at.

Am I being crazy or– there's no way. Matt was kind of starting to panic as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He dared glance at Nick and Chris who hadn't noticed his confused state yet. Should he ask them for help? Should he mention his issue? Eh, what can I do alone… I need some objectivity.

“Hey guys…” Matt called for his brothers who were sitting on one of the beds.

“Yeah?” Chris replied without looking up.

“Can I talk about something?”

Feeling that it was somewhat important, Nick nudged Chris to put down his phone so that they could give their full attention to Matt.

“What’s going on? Are you ok?” Nick asked as he was worried with the tone Matt used.

“Hmm, nothing major but I needed to tell you about someone.”

“Okay…” Nick and Chris said in sync.

“So– I’ve been talking to this girl for like six or seven months I guess like since spring I’d say and…”

Now knowing where the conversation could go, neither Chris nor Nick was going to interrupt Matt as it was now or never.

“She might know us?” Matt internally cringed as he wasn’t even sure of what he was saying.

“What do you mean?” Nick demanded as he wanted clarification. “Have you said anything about yourself?”

“No but why are we only learning about this girl now?” Chris eventually interrupted as he felt confused.

“Well no, like– she knows my name is Matt but that’s all! It’s just– wait lemme explain, I’ll try to make sense.” Matt was starting to panic at the idea that his brothers didn’t approve of what he was going to tell them. “Ok so this girl, she’s called Lily. She randomly started texting me and at first I was weary obviously but then I realised we had quite some common ground like regarding cartoons and games such as Pokemon or Fortnite. I mean, we even played together once. But unrelated I guess, I don’t know…”

“Take your time bro, we ain’t going nowhere.” Chris reassured as he felt Matt stressing.

“Yeah, hmm… and it’s just– I started following her on Instagram with my other account you know and she’s really into photography so she posts landscapes and stuff, but her most recent posts looked too familiar and I just need you to confirm if I’m getting crazy or nah.”

As Matt had kind of finished rambling, he gave his phone open on Lily’s latest post. Nick took it and scrolled through the other posts below. Indeed, Nick and Chris felt a sense of familiarity as the photos were very much looking like the last three cities they’ve travelled to.

“Maybe she’s travelling through Florida, doesn’t mean it’s for us.” Chris tried to reason.

“Look at her tagged posts…” Matt quietly said.

Nick didn’t even have time to leave the post they were on that he let out a gasp.

“Wait– I know her.”

“WHAT?” Chris and Matt both exclaimed.

“Like I don’t know her but I know her account”, Nick started explaining as he tapped on a post of the sunset he had looked at before. “I was literally on it two days ago. She’s friends with someone who went on stage with us.”

“Oh... Oh…” They all realised together that Nick was basically confirming what Matt had been assuming.

To be absolutely certain, Nick did go see her tagged posts and indeed saw Alex’s posts from Orlando. This was now sure, Matt had met Lily and he’d had no idea although they had seen each other probably a couple of times.

“No yeah and I recognise her from our last three shows, I think?” Chris wondered out loud. “So yep bro, she does know us and we actually met her. Got a café and shit if I remember well.”

Matt didn’t know how to react. Not only Lily was a fan of him and his brothers, but he had met her in real life. How was he even supposed to react? Text her to confront her? Matt was completely lost at the moment, but only one thought was in his head and he spoke before thinking it through:

“Would it be crazy to say I wanna see her again?”

What, Matt realised what he had just said. What am I thinking? Fuck.

“Erm… what do you mean?” Nick softly asked as he could sense Matt’s stress increasing.

“Sorry, stupid idea. I don’t even know what I’m saying…” Matt replied as he was now embarrassed. “Just like– I literally met a great online friend but none of us was aware and, I don’t know… it’s weird because she might be sceptical at knowing that I am Matt, the Matt she’s been texting is the same as the Matt she’s a fan of.”

“Well, it makes sense to think like that.” Chris agreed with his brother. “But you can’t know until you guys actually talk about your real identities. Damn, it’s giving a spy movie.”

“Chris, stop.” Nick lightly punched his arm to prevent him from joking about it but when he saw that Matt actually laughed at it, he stopped tormenting Chris.

After a small silence, Matt finally gathered the courage to ask what the three of them had now been pondering about.

“Would it be weird to invite her to our last show?”

“Wow, you wanna meet her with the fam there?” Chris chuckled as he then continued with a more serious tone. “No problem with me to be honest, but how do you even want to bring this up with her?”

“Chris is right,” Nick agreed. “Are you gonna text her and reveal yourself out of nowhere?

“No, of course not.” Matt had rejected that idea from the beginning. “I kinda know how to do it I guess, but I just want your approval before doing anything.”

“Fine by me if you know how to get her there”, Chris shrugged.

“Nick?” Matt faced his brother, hoping to get a positive reaction.

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to properly meet her. And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll take care of it so don’t worry.” Nick was actually giving his brother the green light to start his plan. “If I’m not mistaken about who she is, I remember her being really nice so it should be fine.”

“Yeah, she is really kind. I always thought you'd like her, so I hope you will.”

To finish reassuring Matt that everything was alright, Nick and Chris both pulled him into a group hug before letting him go text the now infamous girl.

Lily

Hey, it’s been a while

How are you?

MATT

Heyy

Yeah sorry i’ve been mia

I’m great tho, i’ve been travelling a bit w alex so it’s really fun

You?

It’s ok don’t worry, I was busy as well with my brothers

But I’m good too :)

And yeah i saw your pics, they look really nice

Thanks!

Where were you if I can ask?

Ofc ye

We went to atlanta then florida where we still are

Oh sweet

Celebrating anything special or just a well deserved break?

Hmm both I’d say

We just went to see some artists ig

But it was cool to move around for a bit

Ok matt you can do it

Unsent

Sounds cool indeed

Which singers are on tour rn?

Oh it wasn’t a concert

It was some youtubers

Like doing a tour to meet fans, play games and shit

Shit indeed

Unsent

This is the moment

Unsent

Wait it kinda rings a bell

Is it like those triplets?

Omg yes

The sturniolo triplets

How’d you know?? You watched them too?

Well i think my cousin was supposed to see them for their last show

Talked to me about it for weeks

That’s awesome!!

Wait, was? :(

She can’t go anymore yeah

That's a bummer

I hope she'll get another occasion if they ever do another tour somewhere later

She probably will

🤞🤞

Hey hmm

Might be weird to ask idk but would you wanna go?

I promise i don't wanna sound creepy

Oh-

Damn, wasn’t expecting that

Does she only have one ticket?

She has two

Ig you went w alex, right? So that’s why i’m offering

Would be free btw

She’s not even expecting resale anymore because the show is very soon i think

Yeah in like 2 days lmao

I’m tempted bro fr

I swear i’m not trying to scam you

You’re still in florida right? So not that far away depending your current city

And i can even send you my cousin’s number if you want to talk with her

The fuck are you doing, Matt thought as he felt like he sounded desperate and didn’t know how to proceed. How would he even get someone who doesn’t exist to text Lily? As he sighed, Matt brought Nick’s attention to him.

“What’s wrong? Is she reacting negatively to whatever you’re offering?”

“I guess she’s just being careful but…” Matt thought about how he could solve his situation. “What would you do for your brother in need?”

“Helping my favourite brother? Depends but almost anything if the reward is nice enough,” Nick replied with a small laugh.

“Hey!” Chris reacted to Nick’s mention of Matt being his favourite brother.

“You know I’m kidding, my favourite is Justin obviously.”

“So yeah Nick…” Matt tried to word his request. “How would you feel about texting Lily to pretend to be my cousin who has tickets for our last show?”

Both Nick and Chris silently looked at Matt to process what was his plan. As Nick asked for clarification, Matt explained the idea he had and what he needed from Nick.

“Honestly, it’s not that bad like–” Chris was supporting Matt for what he wanted to do. “If I were in her shoes I would be the same obviously, but it seems legit.”

“Well, it is.” Matt confirmed. “We can actually give out a couple of tickets to people even if the show is sold out, just gotta ask Laura to edit them.”

“True,” Nick agreed. “Count me in, I’m actually curious to get to know your little friend outside of the ‘Meet & Greet’ atmosphere.”

With a sigh of relief, Matt was prepared to send Lily’s number to Nick and vice versa when he saw that she had replied.

Lily

I’ll trust you dw

When would you be able to send them?

“Ok slight change of plans”, Matt quickly said as he looked up from his phone. “Nick, thanks but I won’t need you for the cousin persona. A for the effort though. And questions: first, how quick can Laura make me two tickets for backstage? Second, how mad would she be that it’s fucking last minute for a random girl?”

“If we explain the whole thing to her she might not be that mad?” Chris tried to rationalise as nothing looked wrong in his opinion. “Nick can ask her for the tickets and I explain to the parents that we’ll have two guests after the show with us.”

Nick nodded in agreement with his youngest brother then took his phone to text their manager Laura and see if she would come meet them to talk. Matt felt so supported at the moment that he couldn’t help the soft look in his eyes. He was capable of looking at his brothers with such pure love, especially when they were doing the most basic things for him.

“Thank you both, I would never do anything without you by my side.”

Comforting Matt for the second time tonight, Chris and Nick side hugged him to show their appreciation as Nick announced that Laura was coming over to their room.

Half an hour later, Laura had agreed to the triplets’ request and told them that she could get the tickets for the next day first thing in the morning, which Matt passed on to Lily. She thanked him for at least five minutes as she couldn’t believe her luck. It’s not everyday that the friend you’ve been texting for seven months coincidentally has a cousin who can miraculously give you tickets to your favourite YouTubers’ tour – it's also not everyday that said friend is actually one of those YouTubers.

Now that Laura was aware of the situation and that his parents didn’t mind the additional guests – they were actually excited about meeting a new friend of their son’s, Matt felt more relaxed and confident about how next Sunday would happen: he would meet fans, take pictures with them, do the show as usual, take other pictures, do the ‘normal’ backstage then finally meet Lily. He could do it. He had met her already. This was simply a more proper meeting, right? I can do it, I did a lot already to make it happen so I can’t chicken out now.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[wellofdean]

Just breaking up this post before it just gets out of hand, but want to reply to these notes from @ironworked :

#I was reading the transcript of a panel Kripke did in 2008#he gets asked about Jo and at the end says they 'don't have any plans to bring her back'#and then: ''(audience cheers)''#then they cheer *for* Ellen#The impression I get is that a large portion of the fandom only ever cared about female characters that weren't 'a threat' to a ship#but who still were there for Dean and Sam#This show had its fumbles and mistakes and iffy stuff with female characters but I'm with Ilarual here - fandom has been significantly wors#the reactions to Mary and Amara are particularly interesting because they're pretty much exactly#the kind of nuanced female character fans *say* they want#and yet they get trashed and misrepresented regularly#funny that#Tv: Supernatural

Ugh. So gross. And to be clear, I am also with @ilarual : there is plenty of misogyny in Supernatural that's there just because it's the air we all breathe, but a lot of it is in the way if someone wants to belittle Dean in some way, they ALWAYS impugn his masculinity, and the way he is supposed to be ashamed of being the one who just wants to keep his family together, and the way he is unable to experience a tender emotion without embarrassment, or the way he can't say "I love you" so he says "I did not leave you!" and "Don't do anything stupid!" angrily instead. Or, the way Sam (soulless) and grandpa Samuel make fun of his nice house with Lisa, and he feels the need to defend himself by saying "Go ahead, call me a soccer mom!" as if the worst possible thing he could be is a feminized, domesticated man who's been tamed by a woman who reads girl magazines. THAT'S misogyny, but fellas, I think the show is attempting to point a thing out with that? All of those things are depictions of misogyny in a show that's about the way terrible patriarchal relationships fuck men up.

Dean's so-called misogyny is cartoonish and ridiculous and clearly a triggered performative response to stereotypical representations of performative femininity, because when Dean is called upon to respond to a woman as a human being, he is well able to do that, even in season 1.

Women who threaten the big ship are always hated in fandom after fandom. Personally, I loved Jo. I loved her crush on Dean, and his big brother act hiding a crush on her. I loved Amara because GOD'S SISTER? Dean's dark female soul image? The way their weird, skeevy connection resolved in mutual empathy, one caged thing to another, and also in giving each other what they most needed? Mary coming back to show Dean that his fantasy of a lost ideal family was just that? A fantasy?

Like, that is just rich storytelling and I am here for it.

I get why people didn't like Amara -- she is an antagonist and I cringed every time she touched Dean's face. She was a threat to Dean, but also? I fucking LOVED that she was there, making me super uncomfortable and fucking EATING, and against Chuck? I wanted her to win. Fuck that guy! I love the idea that a controlling author/father/god who locked his sister and feminine equal up so he could play with his boytoys and make them kill each other. I love that Amara is symbolic of nothingness as opposed to Chuck's being because I think there is a fundamental way in which we struggle to imagine ourselves, AS A CULTURE, without patriarchy.

I also get why people are mad at Mary. We love Dean! We want him to have what he wants! We want him to have fluffy mom-time to make up for all his years of pain. But, can we all just ask ourselves the important question of whether or not a grown-ass man should get what he wants at his mother's expense? Like, are mothers actual human beings with desires, needs and exigencies of their own, or are they slaves to their men and their offspring?*

*Side note: I feel like there are a lot of young people who are mad at their moms on tumblr, and yeah, not all parents live up to their responsibilities and that sucks, but yo: moms are people they make mistakes and have needs.

And, as story devices, which is what they ultimately are, Dean's weird feelings about Amara in a season that is all about Dean thinking about what his heart wants, really only supports the ship we all want to see sail. As for Mary, her death was the inciting incident and her return (and John's) was about healing by letting painful things be painful, and seeing that what you have is pretty fucking good, actually ("I have a family"), and then her second death tests Dean's commitment to holding his family together. Like, our heroes have to be put in situations so we can see their mettle! That's what stories do!

I dunno man. The other day someone I know in meatspace was like: "Oooh! I love Supernatural! Let's talk!" And I was like: "Oh! Cool! Yeah!" and then she says: "Sometimes it sucked though, especially in the later seasons, like when they brought Mary back," and I was like........."Actually, let's not talk."

[fareehaandspaniards]

*shoves Katy out of the way and cringes at the sound of glass breaking + cats yowling*

AHEM. (Sorry Katy <3) My turn!

Fareeha, what are your headcanons on Eileen and Bloody Crow so far?! Have you thought about them a bit? Or are you still figuring them out? 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

For now I have something about them!

For this ask, I combined my headcanons with my spouse's thoughts, because he's Eileen fan! I've had Eileen's image in my head since the first playthrough, and even though it has undergone many changes, her overall vibe remained the same. Crow of Cainhurst is harder to deal with, as you can create him for yourself almost from scratch! They actually both are very expressive characters! But while Eileen has her own voice, a quest line, and a description of her clothes that tells at least some canonical story, the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst - like Damian and other Old Hunters - creates a lasting impression with his equipment, fighting style and appearance!

(I should have put them next to each other, but Tumblr decided that Eileen's pic is too long, so it cuts her D:)

I should probably start from afar, because I usually get things mixed up, and here I have two characters to describe at once!

Eileen's background. She's a foreigner, but we don't know exactly how her covenant formed, how she came to all this. I think she arrived in Yharnam before the whole blood mess. And I really like the headcanon that Eileen was in love with one of the pre-hunters - the one who was protecting Yharnam and nearest villages from monsters and other people. They eventually became an established couple. And once when madness struck her love, Eileen was the one who had to behead her once-lover. And so was the birth of the covenant.

Eileen reminded me of another character from my all-time favorite game, and she's a dragoon knight whose lover has lost his memory. Aaaaand… her phrase from the game I might give Eileen in this case:

«What irony. To find the man about whom I have dreamt endlessly... only to discover that he cannot even remember who I am!»

Also about origins, if we relate Eileen to modern geography, I'd say her homeland could be Mexico? Not for any deep reasons, I just really like the Santa Muerte aesthetic, and I feel that vibe in Eileen (I'll also mention Scandinavia and Tibet later on, so it's hard to attribute her ONLY to Mexico)

Eileen is quite a tough, cold-hearted person. Actually, to stand under her gaze is a very difficult task, I think even Henryk couldn't do it! (You know, that look of an angry mother, when she doesn't need to explain her child that she is mad, they have already realized that! xd) I think, besides hunting, she also has a lot of applied talents, such as sewing, drawing, modeling, but because of the Hunt she almost forgot all of them.

Eileen really did understand crows somehow! It was HER kind of bird, to which she had dedicated her appearance and to which she had counted herself. In fact, in her homeland she was called as something of a witch because of it, though Eileen herself was hardly related to magical matters! One day she told Crow about it, she wanted to make it sound like a joke, but he took it very seriously and sternly said, "You do look like a witch!" <3

You know the legend of Huginn and Muninn? I think she has her own pair of crows that bring her news and keep an eye on everyone.

We don't know all the Great Ones, but based on the image of Mergo's Wet Nurse, with wings and stuff - could there be any bird-like GO? I think Eileen, just by being herself, has attracted Great One's patronage or became an unspoken servant of this Great One? She's a warm "mom", but she's also connected to something so ancient.

I read some time ago that Eileen and her "foreign tradition" funeral is a reference to the Tibetan rite of heavenly burial!!!! It impressed me madly at the time, it's amazing to find such a fact after all! Thanks you, @heraldofcrow , for that! And it's already "canon" to me that this was the essence of the funeral she was conducting? Many Yharnamites found them heretical as they were in foreign traditions, but with all the despair heaped upon the city and Eileen's faith in what she was doing - I think she was called upon to do such things by people… At the very least to ensure that the soul of the deceased would have a chance at a new life and not be stuck in the clutches of the Great Ones and the eternal cycle of the Nightmare….

Eileen gives me some Boss vibes from Metal Gear, while Crow gives me some Sergei Razumovsky vibes from Bubble Comics. (TBH Sergei is the mental child of Micolash, Crow and Laurence…. I used to really like him, as well as the whole comic. But it changed the course of the storyline a bit, so I don't read it anymore)

Boss in the left, Sergei in the right (One was destined to battle her best apprentice, almost son, and die tragically(on a field full of white flowers, yeahm hello, Gehrman, take a seat), and the other one has inner crow-like crazy personality)

When Eileen became a hunter of hunters, she picked up the boy after finding him in the woods, half dead with many scars. We don't actually know how old Crow really is, some headcanon that he's a grown up man, but in my vision he's a young man of about 20, about the same age as Edgar (again, according to my headcanons! You'll never tell exactly what age is this accountant-looking man xdd)

Judging by the estimated time of the massacre, Crow was just a kid at the time. I think he was about ten years old when all this happened? Oh, ten years old is a terrible age for moral trauma. Child is too old to forget everything because of shock, and too young to find the strength to recognize and process that trauma without outside help, without creating more wounds in himself… What did he experience? What he saw? I don't even want to imagine.

But, as it sometimes happens, we expect from a "traumatized" person vulnerability, need for protection, delicate soul and sensitivity. But it happens that the consciousness gives absolutely opposite behavior, hiding all sensitivity deep and far away. So young Crow was not the best child to raise! He came to Eileen rough, heartless, with a slight sadistic tendency. I think because of him and his behavior, Eileen went through many difficult hours… But here you either refuse to let someone else's problems into your heart and miss the opportunity to help, or you live someone else's suffering as your own, and Eileen, of course, in Crow's case, chose the second option. It's a very hard thing to do. But such kindness is always reciprocated in one way or another, and it can also spark the strongest bond!

Eileen raised him, keeping him strict but spoiling him occasionally (I think she always dreamed of having a family, you know, with two people loving each other and kids? But fate deprived her of such an opportunity - she wouldn't be able to love again… But having lost it, Eileen would have gained a "son"). She couldn't not being strict and even sometimes cruel (NO physical punishments or anything else! Hard trainings - yes, tough tasks - yeah) - otherwise Crow would never have taken her seriously. Eileen was great at separating her images of "mother" and "mentor" into two different parts. "Mother" was always understanding and comforting, but "mentor" demanded that she do her bidding and kept a stern eye on her protégé's progress.

As a young boy, he was very sensitive to being laughed at. And as it happens, he did funny things quite often, whether it was awkwardness, attention-seeking, or just plain luck in life. Eileen found him funny but didn't know it hurt him. Crow was offended. But once he saw her sad, watched her stay up at night, found out HOW MUCH heaviness she had on her mind and experienced the most genuine understanding, he realized WANTED to be funny to her? That giving your loved one a reason to laugh is a way to take his mind off his problems. That's how he probably got over his exorbitant ego for the first time. And that's how people grow up! :^)

Crow grew into a skillful and very strong young man. "The student surpassed his teacher" was their situation. Crow became a better man and took from his mentor all that she could give him. Aaaaand... He made his own choice in life, I believe. He stepped out from under his mentor's wing, taking his course back to Cainhurst. And, taking to my headcanons the research of @heraldofcrow, I willingly believe he chose the "heretical path" of not taking souls to heaven as he should, but coming to his Queen and bringing those souls to her feet.

I don't think there was any drama between them when Crow committed the betrayal. There was no breakup, no words, why would they need them? He just chose his path. There's no room for her judgment, they just became strangers. They went their separate ways, and that's a conscious choice Crow made. Did it hurt Eileen? Madly, I think. But her emotions can almost never get the better of her, which is why she coldly refers to Crow as "my prey." She doesn't allow herself to take offense. Except in her failure quest line, when she's distraught and attacks a player. I think it's naturally all about Crow there. It's just that in the "failed" quest line she has no alternate successor to her covenant as a player, and thus has no hope at all. Only despair and bitter betrayal by the closest person to her.

Does it hurt Crow? I don't know. I think he respects Eileen, I think he values her and knows that he will never meet a better and more honest warrior. Maybe he's sorry he had to do it. But no more than that. Is he heartless? Not really. What's inside him? I think he wants to get back what he lost a long time ago. Unfortunately, it's human nature. Even if we feel very good in a new home, we will agonize and think about the old one we were deprived of, that old home will always be "more valuable" in our imagination….

Small headcanons and relationships!

Damian + Eileen. (of course I started with Damian I am sorry lol... My fav will be everywhere) The two met when Eileen first arrived in Yharnam. Their little unspoken friendship began over a glass of Eileen's tincture. Almost no one knew of this acquaintance, but somehow they were comfortable in each other's company. Perhaps because they were both kind-hearted adults for everyone else and had a warm personality and compassion for others.

Damian was visiting Micolash's mummy, constantly lighting candles in the hall where he is. But on one of his visits, he was able to open the empty building of the School of Mensis. He found Edgar's corpse there. He called Eileen because he wanted to give him a proper burial. Together they performed the ceremony in the proper manner. They couldn't know it, but Edgar's soul and mind, trapped in a nightmare, felt better. And when the hunter killed him finally - his soul was free and cleansed, thanks to this ritual.

Eileen + Gascoigne + Henryk + Viola. A real family friendship! Gascoigne is also a foreigner, as is Eileen, and Henryk isn't really from around here… I think Eileen was the best friend of the family, and Gascoigne's little daughters adored her! It's a common headcanon, and I like it a lot :^) They were all very connected… (I think Crow have been a frequent visitor to their house with Eileen. And Eileen would tell stories about him at the table and Crow would resent xd)

Crow + Annalise. OooOooOoooh, I'm chuffed, to tell you the truth xddd But! I think Crow could have been very much in love with Annalise as a boy, carrying that feeling for an immortal woman through the years. Only - he would still be a "boy" to her, and he would have to prove that he had indeed grown up. And, thanks to Eileen's influence, he would succeed!

Crow + Maria. In my version, they're quite different ages, but I think there's definitely a family connection between them. At least as a young boy he would have seen Maria within the castle walls. I think they would have grimaced, showing each other tongues because they're both kids at heart xd And for a while they could both learn the Blade skill, where Crow would be enamored with blood magic and Maria would be the opposite. (I really need to make a table of character ages by time of events, because otherwise I get confused, and I have different ages for Maria in different headcanons! xd)

Crow + Alfred. Alfred would probably look like a nasty little bug to Crow, wouldn't he? The kind that's annoying just by the sight of it. (I like bugs actually, all I want to say is that Crow despises Alfred) He'd obviously have heard of a follower of Martyr Logarius who zealously seeks revenge for his teacher? (I'm surprised there is no quest line in the game where these two meet and try to kill each other) And Crow couldn't even imagine this man violently cut his Queen open one day... (thanks, Hunter! xd).

Crow + Arianna. Oh, I think he would despise her as well. Not because of her kind of job, but because she, an heiress of noble blood, an aristocrat, lives under the wing of the Yharnamites who exterminated her people. I think he would have tried to kill her! But Arianna is not so simple. He simply wouldn't have succeeded. You know, that spectacular scene in the movie where the killer comes for his victim and she welcomes him with open arms, completely naked and defenseless, and he gets lost, because he's still just a young boy, not a man… If there were no such scenes, I'm sorry, but that's how I see it xd

Little Headcanons:

Crow has always wanted to wear long, luxurious curls, and Eileen was always cutting his hair, all through his youth, to make him look better (I wanted to first justify that long hair in combat is inconvenient, but it hasn't hindered anyone in Fromsoftware games yet, so okay xd)

Crow is ENTP, you can't convince me otherwise lol…. (maybe you can)

He's also great with kids, I think because kids can sense strong people and are often drawn to them, and he's exactly like that, independent and cool, so Gascoigne's daughters loved him! (He also doesn't mind playing with dolls, just in secret.)

Crow's birth name is Astolf.

I think Annalise knows Crow exists, when Good Hunter comes to the castle. But she doesn't want us to know it.

Crow and Eileen have come a long way together - growing up, accepting their own flaws, that deep bond between them where two can live like a real family while being completely unrelated. But Crow still belongs to Cainhurst and to his Queen, and so his and Eileen's paths have diverged.

Hope you enjoy reading all of those!

[justmeinadaze]

Unattainable Part XIII (Eddie X Theater Girl)

A/N: I am going to go cry now lol I do have one future idea for these 2 but I'm going to wait awhile before I write that. I attached a playlist of some songs got me thinking about them when I was working WISHING I was writing instead lol To all the people that said that they understood and related to Theater Girl...you are loved and beautiful. I hope you find (or found) the happiness that she herself was searching for <3 Warnings: Trauma mentions with Theater Girls parents. Mentions of alcoholism and treatment. Eddie and Theater girl being cute. Word Count: 3053

I dance on my toes outside of Ms. O’Donnell’s classroom waiting for the period to end. The bell rings as kids swarm outside into the hall. I see the familiar Dio vest and pull the leather clad arm it belongs to.

“Fucking hell!” Eddie shrieks as he stumbles into me. I giggle, pulling him down for a quick kiss. 

“So?”

“So what?”

“Don’t you do that, Eddie Munson!” I shout after him as he starts walking down the hall towards his locker. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, my lady.” I can hear the playful tone in his voice. 

“Eddie! I’m the actor not you. Come on now. I’ve been waiting forever!”

He furrows his eyebrows as he sucks in his bottom lip. “Oh! You’re talking about the final I took?” He reaches into his jacket pocket and unfolds a piece of paper, holding it up proudly. “I got a C-.”

I squeal with delight as I jump into his arms wrapping my arms and legs around him. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it!”

“It’s all because of you. You helped me study and stuff.”

“Eddie, you did this. This was all you.” He guides me back to my feet, kissing my forehead. 

####################

“Hey.” My mother says softly from my door frame. “Eddie’s here to pick you up.” I thank her as I get up to grab my purse and take one last look in the mirror. Eddie and I were going to the annual end of the year party hosted by one of the seniors. Everyone was supposed to be there and even though he wasn’t a fan of that particular environment, Eddie wanted to hang out with his friends as much as possible before we left Hawkins. 

“I may not be home when you get back. I’m supposed to meet with a sponsor tonight and I have no idea how any of that works.” I gently smile at her admission. 

Since the evening with my father, she had been genuinely trying to get her act together. She started going to AA and regular therapy. She was home a lot more when she wasn’t at any of those places or work. My dad on the other hand seemed to get worse. I expected him to call constantly to try and talk to me but within the time frame of when I last saw him, he had only called once. I overheard my mother talking to him over the phone. 

“I am not telling her that, Danny. Are you kidding me? It’s her high school graduation…. No, you can break her heart if you want to but I’m done being that kind of parent.”

“You look beautiful, by the way.” She says reaching over to move a lose strand of hair behind my ear. I throw my arms around her, knocking her slightly off balance. This is new behavior for my mother that I’m praying works for her. If it doesn’t… at least I can saver it while it lasts. “Go on, now. Don’t keep him waiting.”

#######################

Eddie cringes slightly as he stares at the house we’re parked outside of. “Of course. Of course, it had to be Jason Carver’s house.”

“Just think of it this way. This is the last time you’ll have to see people like him on a day-to-day basis. Next time you see him will be, I don’t know, ten years from now at the reunion when he’s got a beer gut, working at his dad’s shitty company, ranting about how ‘these were the days’.” 

He beams over at me as he hops down from the driver’s side and comes around to open my door. “And by then, you and I will look all badass with your Grammy and my Oscar.” I loop my arm through his as we walk towards the party. “Everyone will be super jealous of the Freak and the Theater Geek.”

Eddie throws his head back as he cackles. “I think you just found the title for your autobiography!”

When we enter through the front door everything is already in full swing. Kids are drinking and dancing while others huddle within their cliques talking about futures they are ready to begin. Eddie finds his other Hellfire club seniors poolside by the keg and detaches from me to go join them. I find a couple of my theater friends and we sit on a few of the lawn chairs outside. I feel Eddie’s eyes occasionally checking in on me to make sure I’m ok, my knight in shining armor. 

After about an hour of mingling I notice the cup in my hand is empty. “I’m going to get some more. You guys, want anything?”

“Hey, would you mind running inside and grabbing one of those wine coolers from the fridge? I just love those.” My friend grins up at me as she puts her palms together as if she’s praying. I smile at her as I nod and make my way inside. 

Before I make it into the massive kitchen, someone grabs my wrist pulling me away. I look up to see Eddie’s wavy mane bouncing as we run up a flight of stairs. He places his index finger over his mouth in a shushing motion as he opens the door to a bedroom and guides me in with his hand on my lower back.

“Eddie!” I whisper as I giggle at him. “What are you doing?”

He locks the door behind him and leans down to gently kiss my lips. “I thought I’d give you a glimpse into 10 years from now.” 

“Aw, Eddie. That’s so gross.” I bat my eyes playfully at him as he sticks his tongue out at me. “This must be his parent’s room.” We start to wonder through taking in the surrounding. 

“Either that or a home for a small family. Jesus, this room is huge.”

“You think that’s huge? Look at this bathroom!” 

Eddie walked past me towards the walk-in closet. “Who even needs all the stuff?” He lets out a breathy laugh that causes me to turn my head and look at him. His face was smiling but something else shadowed over it in his eyes. I look back down towards the massive counter in front of me, reaching for the perfume, and squirting some away from my face. I lean in to sniff but pretend to start coughing. 

Eddie’s eyes glance toward me. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I wave my hand in front of my nose. “I don’t think that’s the perfume I’d wear on my husband’s big night.”

He takes a few steps out of the closet, looking at me like I’ve gone insane. “Um, did you get married between the bedroom door and the bathroom counter?”

I playfully look towards the ceiling as I pout my lips. “No. No, no.” I turn back towards the mirror and pretend to play with my hair. “You see, my husband is a famous guitarist. I’m sure you’ve heard of his band, Corroded Coffin?” I look at him through the mirror as slow grin spread across his face. 

“Actually, no, I don’t think I have.”, he plays along, crossing his arms as he takes a few steps towards me.

I dramatically gasp, “Sir! Well, then let me tell you, you are missing out. Their last single reached number 1! It’s amazing. I love it.” I gesture towards him. “And I’m not just saying that because I’m married to a member.”

Eddie comes up beside me and leans his back against the counter. I can see through his reflection that he’s looking down at me but I pretend not to notice. 

“And what about you, miss? How did a gorgeous, award winning, number one movie in America actress come to be with a heathen like that?” He paints the picture with his hands before intertwining them in front of him. 

“Sir! First of all, he is NOT a heathen. A dork maybe but…” He chuckles as he nods. “I remember the first time I saw him he was playing this really confusing game called Dungeons and Dragons.” I grab his arm. “Have you ever heard of it?”

“I know a thing or two.”

“Good because I don’t get a damn thing no matter how hard he tries to explain it. Anyway, I was staying late after school one night rehearsing and I heard these voices screaming at the top of their lungs ‘TO THE DEATH’.” I mimic them as I watch the side Eddie’s face in the mirror as he watches me. “Then this crazy man jumped on his throne style chair and was just so into what he was doing with his friends.” I smile at the memory. “I’d never seen anyone like him before. I was so jealous of his passion. The only thing I had ever been excited about was pretending to be someone I wasn’t for a couple of hours.” I feel my mind start to drift and I reel it back in. “Then the asshole ran into me knocking me over!”

Eddie’s fingers grab my shoulder and gently turn me to face him. “I didn’t know you saw all of that.”

“I did. I was behind the curtain. You, uh, you were very mesmerizing. And that was just from behind! When you looked at me with those beautiful eyes…” I shrug as I shake my head. “Ok! No more cute crap.” I giggle as I started to move for the bedroom but Eddie’s hand pulled me back towards him. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me on to the counter. 

“I know you like to pretend you’re not into the romantic gestures and all that ‘cute crap’ but I also know why you do.” He cups my face into his hands. “Now, no scrunched-up faces, no sass. Baby, I love you. You are amazing and beautiful. I’m glad you stalked me.” My face starts to turn as I laugh but he holds me firm in my place. “Ah! This is serious!” He grins as he drops his hands to my sides. 

“I love you.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m glad you stalked me to. To be fair though, MY stalking was more effective. I mean I got your number in 24hrs. You said you first saw me two years ago so—”

He cuts me off with a kiss and I smile against his lips. “So, are you going to make love to me now on the bathroom counter or do I have to wait another few years?”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he starts to turn away. “I don’t know with that attitude—” I pull on his leather jacket bringing him back to me. He giggles in his throat as I let out a soft moan when I feel one of his hands glide up my thigh into my skirt. His fingers graze against the outside of my panties and he groans when he feels how wet they are. 

“Eddie, please.” His lips travel down my cheek to the side of my neck. 

“Oh no, babe. Right now, I’m Eddie the Grammy winning rockstar and you’re the award-winning actress.” His fingers slide behind the cotton blocking my center and runs them over my clit. I try to lean my forehead against him but he moves back slightly out of my reach as his other hand lightly grips my chin turning me to look directly at him. “So Miss, how do you want me?” Eddie’s fingers shift back down my core as he pushes two fingers into my entrance.

My hands fly out and grab his waist pulling him forward which he allows. “Do you want soft and romantic?” His fingers begin pumping slowly into me. “Or do you want it hard…and…rough?” Between every word he thrust his digits harder into me as I cried out. “I’m fine with either one.” His forehead connected with mine as I looked up into his brown eyes. “I just want you.”

I grabbed the back of his head and smashed my mouth to his. When his tongue caressed mine, I pull him back as I licked my lips.

“I want you to fuck me like a rockstar.” 

Eddie growled pulling me off the counter, spinning me around to face the mirror. He pushed my skirt up to my waist and removed my underwear, throwing it into the void of the room. I watched him as he dug into his pocket and threw a condom on the counter as he quickly reached to unbuckle his belt. I grabbed the wrapper, tearing it open, and handing it over my shoulder to him. He kissed my shoulder as he took it from my hand and put it on. 

He reached down and lifted my left leg on to the bathroom counter. Eddie ran his cock between my slippery folds before pushing aggressively into my cunt. His arms wrap around to my front as he leaned against my back thrusting into me harder than he ever had before. My hand smacked against the mirror for leverage as I tried not to scream about how fantastic he felt. Eddie’s pace slowed but the intensity remained as he straightened his back, bringing me up with him. 

“I just realized something. Open your eyes.”

“I….I don’t know if I can. Fuck.” I whimper as I lean back against his chest. “You feel so good.”

Eddie gently grabs my jaw, centering my head. “You can do it, baby. Please.” My eyes open and meet his own looking at my reflection. “You finally get to see what I see when you cum. How fucking beautiful you look.” I watch as he licks his hand reaches down to rub fast circles on my clit. “Fuck, you feel amazing and taking me so well. Look at you. Look how gorgeous you look like this.”

The words he was grunting into my ear was enough to push me over the edge. I felt my pussy start clenching around his cock. His hand returned to my jaw. “No baby. No. Don’t close your eyes. Open them.” My body shock as I watched myself climax. My leg fell off the counter and Eddie’s arms immediately wrapped around me, keeping me steady. I placed my own over his as he started thrusting into me rapidly. His eyes locked with mine in the mirror as his hips slowed and after a couple of hard pumps, spilled into the condom.  

He delicately pulled his cock out of my hole and with one arm still holding me, he pulled off the condom and threw it in the tiny trashcan. 

“I’m going to let you go, ok?” I nodded as his arm released me and he gripped my sides turning me around to face him. Eddie pulled up his pants, buttoning them, as he went on the search for my panties. As I was pulling down my skirt, he reappeared with them, displaying them in his hand. I grinned as I took them from him and shoved them in his jacket pocket. 

“Here you go, rockstar.”

He laughed as he pulled me in for a hug. I could live in this man’s arms forever. I didn’t need a fancy house or a flashy career. This is exactly where I wanted to be. 

#########################

Eddie’s howls could be heard over the clapping as I walked across the stage to accept my diploma. I, on the other hand, barely got a chance to because as soon as Principal Higgins begrudging handed him is, Eddie quickly pulled it away and ran off stage giving our principal the finger. 

I shook my head at him when I found him after the ceremony near the front of the school. He cackled wickedly. “Ah haha! It’s mine now!” He tackled me, planted a kiss on my cheek. 

“Hey kids.” My mom’s voice was soft as she stepped forward, Wayne trailing behind. 

“Really, Ed?” Eddie gave him a faux confused look like he had no idea what he was talking about. His uncle pat his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m proud of you, Kid.”

His nephew thanked him as Wayne bent down to give me a much softer hug. “I’m sorry your dad couldn’t make it but, you know, I’M proud of you to.”

“Do you guys want a picture?” My mother asks as Wayne backs out of frame. “Ok, smile!”

Eddie pulls me to his side as I stick my tongue out and he holds up the rock and roll symbol. Wayne rolls his eyes as he laughs to himself. My mom grins showing her all her teeth. That was the first time I saw her genuinely laugh in such a long time. Eddie leaves my side, walking over to her, and gives her a hug of his own. I watch as her hands hover for a moment before resting on his back. 

He pulls away, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I’m proud of you to.” Eddie gives her a polite smile and as he turns back towards me, I see her grin to herself. 

##########################

“Sweetheart, it’s ok.”

“I know it’s ok. I’m fine. I’m just… I can’t believe it’s finally happening.” 

Eddie reaches for my hand as we wait for the attendant to call our number for our flight. It had been 2 months since graduation and it felt like everything happened so quickly. We found an apartment near the school and Eddie found a job at a music store that sells instruments. We packed everything which for both of us wasn’t much and then spent any remaining time we had in Hawkins with our friends having fun. 

“I know. I’m excited.”

“Are you not nervous at all?”

He slides his arm around my shoulders. “Of course, I am but I’m with you. I’m safe, right?”

I cup his cheek in my hand and guide him down to my lips. “Always, my knight in shining armor.”

Eddie looks to the ceiling as our seat numbers are called. He animatedly jumps to his feet and extends his arm out towards me. “Come, my lady. Onward towards the rest of our lives.”

####################

@hufflepuffprincess24 @fanfiction-lover-24 @theoriginaldoll87

[ferdieinceladoncity]

I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO WATCHING THE GIGGLE NOW THAT MY MOTHER IS WELL, I'M ONLY ONE ENTIRE WEEK LATE BUT HERE'S MY GIGGLE THOUGHTS

-okay, for one I am not as averse to the bi-regeneration as some people have been. I saw that leak detailing it waaaay earlier, and I was honestly excited more than disappointed. As long as they don't do this every single time future doctors regenerate- which would suck-it was fine as a one-off thing, and made sense for the iteration of 14. Of course he would be brought back so that he could go home and stay there. And 15 gets to go gallivanting off and start off the new season, so alls well. I dont think it takes away from Ncuti's arrival as the doctor at all because he had most of the focus of the episode from when he split off and became real.

-I could not help but draw parallels between all the people of earth thinking they are right and denying wearing the... whatever they were called, the rings- and covid and masking stuff and whatever which I guess was the point. The toymaker referencing 'cancelling' was so cringe though lmaoo

-Kate Lethbridge Stewart you are my wife forever <3

-what the fuck was that robot there for. the vlinx. This is like, for suuuuure we are getting a UNIT spinoff soon and the inclusion of that weird robot is gonna be part of it. Literally everything is pointing to a UNIT spinoff and that was so obvious in this episode. I don't have opinions for or against the existence of a UNIT spinoff, btw.

-the callback to the Moffat companions was great. Shame he mentions Amy but not Rory?? hello? he was very much touched by a weeping angel too.

-Overall, I didnt hate the toymaker as a villain, but it was like... i don't know. a discount master. I guess he was fun, but I wouldn't be too keen on seeing him return anytime soon.

-that being said, spice up your life was very fun :3 Oh I'm going to have that in my head forever, aren't I..

-Please don't reference the year as a big speech in the episode of television you're making. Yes I understand it's because it's the anniversary but does nobody else find it super cringe when they're all like.. oMG.. 2023... maybe that's just because im super tired of that trend back in 2020 where verbalising the fact it was 2020 was used as like the marketing campaign of every single brand

-mel bush was certainly there! for, I guess, reasons! maybe I'd care more if I'd seen her back in the like... 80s, but I didn't, and so it was like. okay. were there any classic fans watching jumping out of their seats when she was on screen? I just feel like when the doctor reunites with an old companion, it always feels shallow. Like when 13 reunited with Tegan and ace in power of the doctor. It just felt like she didn't really know them anymore and we only really saw 14 exchange pleasantries with Mel as if they were friends meeting back after a couple years in a grocery store aisle. I think they more or less got it right in school reunion, seeing ten with Sarah Jane was so wonderful. But that was a whole episode centred around their reunion and when you're introducing a past companion as part of a special or big anniversary episode you kind of have to push it aside in favour of the other stuff you have to show, making it feel like, what was really the point? a companion is such an important person in the doctors life and it feels narratively unsatisfying to bring them back to satiate or entertain older fans but not really centre any part of the episode on the doctor and this companion they formed a real bond with.

-if I was donna I would have stepped right on that doll the first time I saw it and smooshed it into the floorboards like a spider

-I feel like they played catch too fairly. For one, why even bother throwing the ball back and forth between yourselves? dont tempt fate like that. take all your shots at the toymaker. surely it wouldn't have been hard to just lob it a little bit to the left and off the edge a lot sooner. He'd say you were a bad throw but I doubt he could prove it

-I liked the imagery of the rose petals shooting out of the guns I dont know I just thought that was neat

-oh, speaking of! Rose mention! the doctor said he loved rose in 2023. Well, in a stilted way (next point) but man I guess this can be considered a timepetals win???

-the dialogue just didnt crackle and to a point and with a few expeditions this has been the case for all the specials. I don't know if im looking at it all the wrong way, but there's something a little bit devoid of life when compared to earlier seasons. It's not deal-breaking for me. But I think it was especially potent this episode.

-The TARDIS having a ramp is pretty great but why not let her in it?? why show her ( cant remember her name but the UNIT officer in the wheelchair) you show her it has a ramp now and she's happy about that, but nah fuck it you can't come in and have a look.

-The TARDIS also looks so much better with the warm yellow lights and I'd have warmed to it a lot more if it ALWAYS had that warm yellow lighting instead of the sterile whiteness 14 was kicking around in.

-Seen many people mention it already but the fact that was 14 was going commando after the regeneration because 15 got the underwear is hilarious. and he had the dogs out and all. my man. only in doctor who can the climax of an episode be the protagonists and the villain saving the world by playing a game of catch and one is barefoot and the other is literally in his undies. huh

-tentoo did not win ffs. just one mention. just somebody asking how he's going where he's at. just someone considering him at all. a fucking throwaway line. DONNA KNEW HIM. im going to bite my hand off and rtd better have something planned, some good reason for acting like he doesn't exist in these specials. Like even if when they were talking about the doctor settling down and having a domestic life, even if donna had said like "like that other you did" and then we all moved on. but literally act like he doesn't exist I guess

-I'd probably sooner kill myself than live with Sylvia noble but good for 14 for his ending. it was cheesy as all hell but whatever. it deserved to be. It was sweet. It was nothing I'm going to go crazy over but whatever. sure.

-I'm excited for 15 because I do love what we saw of him here. he's fun and he seems to be a bit more free of all the baggage his prior incarnations held which is good. I'm interested to see what he's like but this ep sets him up as quite promising.

-alright, wrapping up, this episode was by far the worst of the three specials, and left me feeling unsatisfied with some things and happy with others. overall, im not taking it too seriously because the episode itself wasn't doing that, it was just a bit of fun and flashy and a bit stupid but it had to be because it's tennats proper sendoff and an anniversary special. It was fine. And I'm glad, im so glad overall that we got these three episodes. I do think that doctor who is so back and im so happy to be a fan.

[souryogurt64]

regarding the st fan base and omg you are so right they are literally just so insufferable for the most part

i remember they canceled metallica“what do we do with our shirts? 😖” because metallica was just being mean over some copyright stuff or whatever

the fan service part is correct like they are getting constantly fed with what they want these characters to be and such and when eddie died soooo many of them were like “oh i am sure he’s coming back!!! he’s not actually dead” while at the same time due to the eddie rise of popularity i can see that actually happening tbh

also they have a serious problem with romanticizing the 80s i see way to many tiktok comments going “take me back to the 80s 😩 everyone seemed so much happier back then” girl you do not want to go back to the 80s

Yeah old rock bands are really, really aggressive about copyright because their careers existed fully before streaming or digital download or LiveNation was a thing so they all blame consumers for why there's no money in rock music anymore. Aerosmith were like personally meeting with Trump over copyright laws lol

I think they also succumb to things most fandoms succumb to, such as sidelining female characters in favor of poorly done and shoehorned in queerbaiting as fanservice and attacking anyone who acknowledges the female characters exist and their relationships with the male characters are also central to the story (Eddie and Chrissy vs Eddie and Steve, Mike and Eleven vs Mike and Will, though there's no queerbaiting with Will)

But also there's this layer of refusal to deal with nuance that's kind of startling and I feel like it's part of why the show makes the narrative choices it does and vice versa.

Also the show does present a very romanticized view of the 80s which is why people behave that way, I get that not every "period piece" has to be in-your-face 24/7 about stuff like homophobia and misogyny and racism and sometimes it can just be fun but ST tries to talk about these topics in a cringe way instead of a show like Bridgerton that just pretends they don't exist and focuses on other parts of the story like romance.

For example, every single character, including Steve who called Jonathan a slur, supports Robin being a lesbian with no further exploration, they insert cringe monologues and scenes with Robin and Nancy about misogyny but depict Nancy as immediately willing to sacrifice the career and education she's worked so hard for to have SIX CHILDREN with Steve and thinking it's cute and romantic for Jonathan to hide in the woods and secretly photograph her changing, and breaking up with her boyfriend to date him because of it.

Also the stuff in S4 with Lucas and his basketball team felt very racially charged to the point of being difficult to watch but they skirted away from directly addressing it. Probably because it was easier for them to write that "The only racist character in Indiana in 1985 is a 16 year old boy who lives in a trailer park and is inexplicably unhinged and violent" than touching on why a fourteen year old black child would be terrified of a group of older white teens threatening him with violent vigilante torture and murder lol.

[fahbev]

@whumper-in-training

ok I don’t know how long my caption is allowed to be, but here it is! The promised fan art! I REFUSE to be self-deprecating here because I actually do like these a lot. Basically, I read this amazing story called ACP- The Agency for Cryptids and the Paranormal, (https://whumper-in-training.tumblr.com/post/673130936584568832/acp-the-agency-for-cryptids-and-the) and I totally fell in love with the character of Zak. This STORY MAN! It broke my heart in half and then lovingly stitched it back together, like multiple times, and I think that’s the ESSENCE of a good story. So yeah I made fan art. 

I was in the car on a fairly long trip, and I had my sketchbook, and I was like, hey, what should I draw? Fuck it i’m drawing Zak. So I drew Zak. I originally didn’t want to deal with how the hoodie would work with all the weird perspective and just gave him a tee-shirt, but then I yelled at myself: “COWARD! Draw the hoodie!” And so I erased the shirt and drew a hoodie. I figure that the hoodie in the picrew isn’t how the hoodie actually looks, it’s just the closest approximation you can get with a picrew, so I put an alien on it because yes. While I was drawing it though, I hit a fork in the road with the pose. I was going to draw him with his hand clawed and the other on his hip, but then I was like “what if he had his arm up instead?” And so I made two versions.

I drew werewolf Zak hell ya! I spent FOREVER inking this. Okay if was only like two hours, but inking is kinda boring and thus I procrastinated, and so it took me like three days to ink it. It took much longer than usual Bc I went over each line a bunch of times to make it look like fur/hair/eyelashes, but you can’t even see it Bc the colors are so dark! Argh! Usually color more than doubles the amount of time I spend on a drawing, but this time I just quickly threw down some color in only like an hour! I was so sure I was gonna say, “it’ll be quick” and then spend another six hours on it, because that ALWAYS happens, but it actually WAS quick so yes.

Last but not least, I drew the gang all together! Technically I drew this second, and colored it first, but you get the idea! This drawing filled me with all the happy chemicals the whole time making it y’all. After several hours it kinda wore off, but every time I zoomed in on Max’s face I got a fresh rush of serotonin. I decided to draw that one scene where they all fall asleep together because it was SO WHOLESOME! I wanted to draw the whole group, but didn’t know what kind of context to do. Then I scrolled through the blog, found that scene, reread it and was like “yes! That’s the one!”. And so I drew it. I did have to look up “do Muslim women sleep with their hijabs on?” And i’m glad it was a google search and not asking a real person Bc the response I found was basically: “No, you dumbass! Why would we do that? That makes no sense-” and several sarcastic responses to the same question on Quora and i’m just like: “:’D” I did look into it a bit more and realized the hijab has to stay on Bc while they are like family, they’re still not her mahrams. Also I figure that if I was gonna post this, even if she was alone, drawing her without it would kinda be violating her privacy yk? Like i’m exposing her for the whole internet to see. Kinda like drawing her naked would be. Anyway, I love this drawing, hope you love it too!

Ok, still keep your expectations to an army crawl because I never finish stuff, but fanfic is in the works. I am probably gonna wait until it’s finished to post it though, that way I can edit things and change earlier chapters. Also! I’m a total novice writer! So it’s probably crap! I don’t care! I have this policy that I would always rather make the cringe fanfic, wear the ugly clothing, make the stupid drawings, the cursed memes, shout all the embarrassing shit, do all the dumb things that teenagers do (as long as it’s not harmful or permanent obvi), sing all the bad karaoke, embarrass myself a TON, etc, and regret it later, cringe so hard in ten years, than to never let myself do anything, constantly hold back, never reach my full potential and regret THAT in ten years. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. I still might very well be too shy to post it though ahhhhh. For some reason i’m WAY more shy online than irl, that makes no sense. Like I can walk up to a random person and talk to them no prob, but I get super anxious going in someone’s ask box. Maybe Bc I can’t read their body and face language like that? Idk. Like I said, just don’t expect anything.

[crabussy]

brief alter introduction because a lot of them use this account now and again!!

—————

robin- me!! the host. freak of nature, creature, horror/wilderness enjoyer. mentally i’ll about aotearoa for whatever reason. enjoyer of cringe. he/they/it, 16

phoebe- she’s soooo cool. overuses the cat face emojis but we love her. music taste is insane. projects images of cock and balls into my brain because she thinks it’s hilarious. she/her, 19

alastair- nervous wreck, resident academic, adores astronomy but knows next to nothing about it. messiest fucking room ever, thank god dust isn’t a thing in headspace. he is like a wizard to me. he/him, 24

bee- everyone’s mom. would make killer jam if she had access to good fresh fruit.. SUPER good hugs. literally the nicest ever, very concerned about my questionable life choices. she/her, 36

jasper- pretends to be stone cold and mature but in reality he’s kind of a softie. diet consists of cherry flavoured everything (GROSS) and cola (ACCEPTABLE) reminds me of a young crowley in some ways. he/him, 21

circe- local witch. pronounces her own name wrong. deeply appreciative of dark fairycore and fairygrunge, listens almost exclusively to molchat doma and phonk???? swamp enjoyer. very cool. she/her, 17

nat/nathan/natalie: shares names with both my aunt and uncle which is kinda weird!!!! the most pirate ever. very chill but also very unchill when shit hits the fan. she’s very very cool and intimidating and I am sometimes nervous to talk to him. she/he/they, 22

francis- geeky, nervous, extremely lanky and super sweet. she’s very nostalgic about kiwiana stuff (chocolate fish!!!! footrot flats!! waiheke!! L&P!!) and tied to our childhood memories. super fun, has awesome mint green frizzy hair. she/they, 16

claire- absolute hippie /t. tie dye tapestries and stained glass wind chimes and healthy food. she’s awesome, wine aunt of the system, somehow likes salad and kombucha. very nice gal!! she/her, 25

oliver- Normal Guy of all time. the only vaguely unusual thing about him is that he’s ginger. enjoys cooking, sculpting/stop motion, and browsing reddit. very exploratory with his hobbies which I admire (: he/him, 16

katie- shark enthusiast. gave herself sharp teeth just because. completely nuts, sharp as a tack, Observer Of Details. likes bugs too, and really enjoys street food. short LOL HAHHAHAAHA. she/they, 14

chester- I keep calling him max by accident. little bear cub ankle biter, first thing he ever did while fronting was put 10 kilos of hair gel in our hair and make devil horns out of it. evil. where the wild things are enjoyer. he/him, 11

julian- fashion king, makes zebra print look good, loves peacock feather motifs. possibly a satyr?????? or something??????? no clue. he’s very fabulous, reminds me of zulius from centaurworld. he/him, 27

silas- aspiring botanist, somehow both eccentric and super composed simultaneously. loves plants, finds them fascinating, approaches life with logic and strategy which doesn’t always work but hey. he/him, 40

jon- former head archivist of the magnus institute etc etc. gets up in the middle of the night to shuffle around, talk to my cat, and be paranoid. love him. he has long greying hair and a great fashion sense. very knowledgeable!! tired. he/they, 29

martin- polite but also a bitch. he’s allowed honestly. lover of pecan pie, and most pastries. stronk…. big…… Holder Of The Jon… enjoys travelling and occasional company. fluffy strawberry blond hair and thick dark eyebrows. has custody over our only turtleneck jumper. he/him, 31

zoe- like a mini phoebe (don’t tell her I said that /j). likes tennis and racing games, listens to music that sounds like you’re being put in a blender. enjoys neon highlighter-like colours and being a Menace. she/her, 13

caleb- super funny and creative. very neurodivergent, really likes dragons and other mythology. likes drawing and making up stories, very chatty. he/him, 10

sun- oh so cheerful!! so much fun, mischievous at times, super good with kids!!! resident robot. loves to wear clashing patterns and colours, sticks his tongue out when he thinks, a bit clumsy but also very agile. sweet tooth, loves shiny things and crafts. he/they/she/sol, ageless

moon- super graceful. calm and collected, great sense of humour where you can never tell if they’re joking or not, loves silky clothes and shiny accessories. capable of lulling anyone to sleep except itself </3 loves figure skating and deep sea life. other resident robot!! great singing voice… they/he/it, ageless

selene- bubbly and intense!! life of the party, wearer of the pinkest clothes ever, fashion icon, very passionate about womens rights and queer struggles. so much blonde hair. she’s like if a bimbo was a woman in STEM. love her. she/her, 23

aries- kind of an asshole, getting better, strong opinions about the way the system functions. they’ve decided they have curling ram horns and love the colour purple-red. good music taste, dresses like they’re from genshin impact. they/them, 18

xavier- cool boy swag, formerly known as crowe, super laid back and doesn’t talk much. wants a pet raven so bad, doesn’t listen to music much, wants to create music tho. Ive never seen him wear colour ever. he/him, 18

that’s everyone for now!! some of them have their own blogs accessible via @menagerie-crew

tl;dr: there are FRUITS IN MY BRAIN AND THEYRE COAXING ME INTO DOING DUMB SHIT. I LOVE THEM ALL

[cryptidjeepers]

okay so. my Disenchanted review. my credentials are: being a huge Enchanted fan. Rewatching the movie at least 3x a year. love amy adams.

6.5/10 Full review under the cut and be warned, its a lot of brain ramblies

the good

I guess I want to start with the good stuff. I really liked how the movie focused on GIselle and Morgan as stepmother and daughter, but also two people that really need each other. The first movie was about Robert and Giselle and I really feel like there wasn’t much more development there. So I wasn’t upset that Robert got sidelined (hes also kind of the most boring character outside of his role in Enchanted, sorry McDreamy).

The first half of the movie was a bit, too much. But the second half is where I really started to enjoy it.

Obviously the costumes and set design were incredible. Amy Adams was going for an Oscar with her Jekyll and Hyde Giselle moment. The way her voice dropped to be evil, need I say more?

The story was enjoyable! The call backs felt a little forced, but still cute. The songs were... disney Decsendents level if I’m being honest. And i dont even mean that in a bad way its just, a grown ass woman singing them was a bit secondhand embarrassing.

also, james mardsen, as always, is an absolute delight

the not so great

My issues were with how over complicated the plot was. Enchanted was sooo good because of how simple it was, while also being very smart. It’s a fairy tale turned on its head and it’s clever. Disenchanted isn’t. Really clever? The eising wand felt a bit too convient. The pacing is too fast to really dwell on the issues the characters are having. 

And speaking of issues, there are too many lmaoo. Giselle and Morgan are both struggling to find their place. A cartoon-turned real girl feeling out of place and a teenager moving to a new town. There was a lot of potential. Unfortunately, they kinda just turned Giselle into a selfish stay-at-home mom (also, was the baby really important??? what happened to her fashion business). Giselle’s character struggles to stay cartoonish and real, which is ironic because that’s her whole deal. It’s been like 10 years since she started living in New York, how has she somehow went backwards in her character development. 

imo, the movie should have been more about Giselle losing that fairytale touch while dealing with the very real and complex emotions of being a new mom and stepmom. Maybe she woke up one day and realized how different she’s become. But no, its just this weirdly selfish need to move to suburbia. Also she’s a stay at home mom beefing with pta moms for some reason. Everything feels so half-baked, which is interesting since they did do reshoots due to inital mixed reviews

Speaking of pta moms, they really built up the whole prince and princess of the festival thing for no reason other than giselle setting up that, quite frankly, cringe worthy cupcake stand at the highschool. and for morgan’s extremely bland love interest. 

I guess my biggest problem was how it compared to Enchanted. I’m sure, on it’s own, DIsenchanted is a great movie. But Enchanted was about Robert and Giselle breaking each other out of their monotonous, monochromatic lives. Giselle learns to be more Real, while Robert learns to embrace spontaneity. Disenchanted feels a lot like Giselle trying to play both roles, with Robert doing absolutely nothing. I said earlier how I actually like Robert being put to the side, but it is frustrating how Robert didn’t notice Giselle strugging at all. He does not to help her. imo, the minute he saw her acting evil should have broke the spell or at least pushed through a little and made him concerned. He has big “ignorant dad in a sitcom” energy, which sucks.

the bad

okay im not film expert, nor am i a choreographer, but man, was I the only one that felt disappointed by the music and spontaneious dance sequences. The town square scene and inital scene with morgan and robert singing were probably the best because of how silly and self-indulgent they were. They felt like they wuld fit in Enchanted, which, again, is funny since the song is literally a reference to the first movie.

But some of the sequence felt like I was being danced at? Like these two 40 year old women were doing well choreographer tiktok dances at me. It took me out of the movie so quickly and I struggled to enjoy it. I really wanted to enjoy Badder, but the second half of the song just felt weird. Like they were hoping for a tiktok banger or something. But yeah, Enchanted may have only had 4 songs, only 2 of which were sung by main characters, but they’re all bangers. What Disenchanted makes up for in songs, it lacks in quality.

and lived happily ever after, I guess (except nothing was really dealt with sooo)

The end

[livvyofthelake]

i’ve been doing such a terrible job selling the infernal devices i just know helena is watching me post like “damn she really expects me to read this flop trilogy??” so i am now going to write up a potentially very long post where i try to reason to myself in real time why i was wrong when i read it in middle school and it’s not as bad as i’m describing and if i reread it as an adult with better taste i would enjoy it immensely. ok. so first of all i don’t like steampunk shit i think it’s cringey in the same way panic at the disco is cringey. however my brain was probably just over saturated with cringe due to being 13 years old in 2014. if i read it now it would be post-cringe, camp even. secondly, i didn’t vibe with the love triangle stuff. i hate love triangles and it always seems incredibly and annoyingly obvious which one of them will be endgame. tessa and will are still no exception to this, it is painfully and annoyingly obvious in tid that they’re getting together in the end, as much as cassie tried to trick us with tessa and jem’s engagement. she didn’t trick me. HOWEVER. NOW i know that i was looking at it wrong. i was 13 what did you expect from me i literally was performatively obsessed with one direction back then. so NOW i understand that the whole appeal of tessa and will and jem is that they are three people who love each other equally and it’s not necessarily a choice between any of them as much as the eventual outcome was dictated by circumstance. technically in canon will and jem are just platonic besties but like if cassie can log on to HER tumblr and say “hey. they might be gay. who’s to say really” then i think i can log on to MY tumblr and call these men gay. and of course, will and tessa only married because jem had to become a silent brother, and then a hundred years later he stopped being a silent brother due to yk. jace accidentally blasting him with the heavenly fire that was consuming his body (it happens). and then immortal tessa and still alive jem got married. and she doesn’t love one of them more than the other. and sorry for spoiling the ending in my defense these books are nearing a decade old. my next point i don’t remember what number i’m on. when i first read these books i thought will was too mean and i thought jem was too boring. so i wasn’t into tessa interacting with either of them really. like. i was right, will was mean, and jem was boring, but like. will wasn’t as mean as he seemed, he was just a bit of a cunt. and jem wasn’t as boring as he seemed, he was just kind. i was a divergent fan ok kindness wasn’t exactly a trait i was used to seeing in my fictional dudes. but am now and i think jem has nice boy swag even. well ig he’s a man now but he still has that nice kindness swag!! and he’s my bestie kit’s dad! will does still serve annoying edward cullen-esque ya love interest energy but i think i just have to forgive and forget that considering cassie is Weird about her herondale men sometimes. idk something is just wrong with that woman! i forgive her tho. i’ve forgiven more for less. and finally. i did not care for the plot! however! who does? i already know the plot, if i reread it, i can just skip the dumb stuff. everybody wins! in conclusion, i think we were ALL haters when we were 13, and when i’m done with chain of iron i’m gonna give tessa and her boys another chance for the first time since literally 2014. i’m optimistic about it those guys are literally my buddy lucie’s parents… if nothing else they are my buddy lucie’s parents!!

[schlattburity]

So!! Recently I’ve been in a kinda pony kick, especially with making a story around my ponysona cause I am cringe but I am free. 

I’m the yellow horse the other @the-lost-disc-collective​‘s ponysona!!! Lore under and references under the cut

I won't explain Tommy's Ponysona's character too much because well, it's Tommy's ! But I will talk about how they relate to mine and that their name is Cleftnote, Celfty/Cleffy for Short and they're a zombpony :] ! So, Let's start of with my Pony! Finch Call aka "Calamity" They / (sometimes He)

Finch Call is an adult pony without a Cutiemark. Due to mental health issues, they dropped out of school as a teenager and "never got around to" finding their cutiemark. They currently live with their parents Downstage House and Jaye Bird in ponyvile. They mostly spend time alone, either by the pond outside of town or in Twilight's Library (this was before she became princess twilight), reading mysterious Books and taboo and black magic. They picked up the hobby of looking into that kind of stuff due to a slight hyperfixation they have on flying. They wish they where a Pegasus like their mother, and thought there was maybe a spell that could transform them into a an actual Pegasus, however... since they aren't a Unicorn and "earth ponies can't perform magic", they knew it was nothing but a pipe dream. At least the Books are interesting. It's also where they got their other name! They saw "Calamity" in a book once and thought it was interesting and sounded cool, so took it up as a kind of Monitcor, something they would like their friends to call them.. if they had any. Also probably for gender reasons. So, you can often find them reading weird books, and even trying to cite incantations, but nothing ever happens since they're just a earth pony. Until one day, it did. (They also have a somewhat uncanny ability to sense the fourth Wall, not break it like Pinkie or Discord, just when things are off. Either something is inconstant in the background or the Art, slight knowledge of the future, and so fourth. It isn’t crazy powerful and it’s nothing BIG, just a ever so slight sense that comes around every now and then.  Explanation is they literally constantly hang around, touch, and say taboo dark magic things all the time so a little bit rubbed off on em djhdfjk) Now! The Parents /neu Jay Bird He / Him

 Jaye Bird is a slightly sarcastic and somewhat charming Unicorn colt who is very logical and grounded. He wants to take care of his family and friends and will kill himself to do it. His talent is “Fixing things with magic”, however most people assume he’s some kind of mechanic or builder, a physical fixer due to how his cutiemark represents this with a Wrench. His talent is more so focused on his logical nature and focus on fixing problems of any kind with his intellect, knowledge, and magic ability.  Downstage House She / Her

Downstage is a Pegasus Mare with a talent for Acting, however she’s also found other ways to use it outside of just performing on stage. She has a good eye on people and can read them well, as well as good at general public speaking and dealing with Crowds.  Her cutmark also represents her personality to a good extent, so symbolism fans this is for you /silly

[vamistlezellas]

nerdy priorities

The guy that broke my heart wanted to know how do I like guys to dress. Rather what I find attractive. I wanted to cover it here.

I actually like business casual I guess you call it. Normies. As in a nice shirt with a collar and jeans. Or just a nice shirt. Most guys I have dated, don’t put any effort into their appearance when they’re going out for a date with me. It’s like I’m not worth the effort. Why should I even bother dressing up for them? When I want to? When I like to? When I like date dates.

They dress regular T-shirt and jeans. As if they’re not trying to dress to impress at all. As if they are going out to the bar with one of the bros. I am the exact opposite. Men just don’t put effort into dating at all anymore. It would be nice to actually get a flower. Even when I was in established relationships, they didn’t make it special anymore. They just wore anything and went out to eat. Like it was just a regular day. Disappointing. It didn’t view them as dates.

Despite me being a Weeb/nerd/Otaku, the only time I will wear something flashy and showy is if at work or a convention. I’m embarrassed to wear stuff like that any other time. I’m embarrassed if my partner dresses like that. Never had anyone that did. We go to the mall, errands, or things like that, I don’t want someone who looks like a goddamned “weeb”. I definitely wouldn’t want my partner to look like a freaking Otaku because that’s embarrassing to me. I’m not the girl that will wear cat ears at the mall and I actually cringe at people that do it.

I’ve been judged by my partners. As in who is beside me. “Is that all she can pull, you call that an upgrade, but all your exes were ugly, etc” So when I think of a guy dressed like that next to me, I think “weeb, nerd, dork” and not in the positive connotation. I like it when the nerd is subtle.

So if a guy wanted to wear his flashy Dragon Ball button up shirt, I actually view that as tacky. We’re not at a con. We’re at the mall. We’re at Target. I don’t like it. I brings unwanted attention on ME. The judgy kind. I don’t like it.

If he was wearing a button up collar plaid shirt for example with a fandom T-shirt underneath, I’m completely OK with that. Under a jacket? I’m ok. Just the shirt? Depends on how LOUD it is. “But you dress like that” he said. Yeah at WORK, at cons. Not every day. Not on dates. In specific places.

The guy also asked about hair. How do I like hair.

The longer the better. I don’t like military cuts. Not a big fan of The peach fuzz. A lot of guys like to keep their hair short. Not a fan of short.

I love something I can run my fingers through. I definitely love it when it’s long and curly. When it’s flipped to the side like a crest on a wave. To me it doesn’t really look good if it’s parted down the middle.

I definitely love the wet hair look. So hair gel is a plus.

What about personality? Well from the last guy I can definitely tell you what I don’t want or like.

One, calling me a hypocrite. Just because I dress a certain way at work and not outside of work, does it mean I want my partner looking like that. Or beside me looking like that. Sorry not sorry.

I want a mature relationship. Not here “well you do/did it too.“ I dated guys (Matt and Richard) that did the blame game. Where if I told him I was hurt about something he wouldn’t apologize. He would withhold apologies and bring up something I did in the past so that he won’t apologize for the curtain thing.

I want relationship maturity. A guy that will not only apologize but acknowledged my feelings about the issue or situation and changes behavior. Not hold something against me and tell me that I did the same thing or whatever.

I also don’t want the type of scrutiny where like the other guy, calling me a hypocrite. Where now I have to watch my actions because since I did it it’s obviously OK for him. I don’t want that sort of energy in a relationship.

For a guy to claim or tell me he’s not like the other guys in my life, he was exactly exactly like that. He was acting like Richard. He was acting like Greg. Acting like Matt. Acting exactly like the assholes and abusive guys before him.

Another thing the guy did that I absolutely hate is talking in movies. Something he did not wanna compromise on unless it was only silence during the first run. That if I’ve seen a movie he thinks it’s OK to talk. That I if I’ve seen a movie multiple times it’s OK for him to talk. It ANNOYS me to no end and when people talk throughout movies. Even comments. I don’t watch Rif tracks. I don’t watch the laugh tracks. I don’t watch mystery science theater. Do you know why? Because I hate chatter when it comes to movies. If I have something to say, I’m gonna talk about it before the movie or after. It is not adding to my experience. It’s annoying for me. I’m not paying movie theater prices to hear somebody make in the moment comments when I go. Apparently this makes me undataable because he has to talk when it comes to move it. But I made a comment so it’s ok. Never mind that I said I don’t like it made to me. He didn’t voice the same so I thought it was ok to comment to him because I thought he wouldn’t mind it. He did the whole “well you did it too” “Why are you allowed and I’m not?” Not the energy I want in a relationship. He didn’t say he didn’t dislike it!

He was very adamant about his link spam, meme spam, picture spam, exposing me to new things as he called it. Wanted me to try this, try that. Because as I said earlier, what I am into is not enough apparently.

Where he wants to be right. Where he wants to show me something and if I like it, he was right. If I don’t like it, he’ll make a mental note. Why does it matter!!! Why are you showing me stuff to begin with? Why is that even necessary? It’s very necessary for him. It’s how he “bonds” he says.

I don’t mind if it’s a movie, if it’s a park, a drink, some kind of experience. But for him it’s links, movies, board games. He doesn’t want you to discover anything organically. He wants to push in on you. That’s the word I use, push. Push, bombard, pressure, inundate. These are words he wouldn’t use but words I would use because that’s how I see it. Apparently that also makes me Undateable and unworthy to date because he HAS to do these things. That’s how he bonds apparently. The ONLY way he bonds apparently. Apparently our common interest is not enough.

Reminds me of Richard and Greg. Where I hated getting messages from them because it’s now memes, links, vids and no longer WORDS. No longer sentences. No longer sentimental or affection like I miss you, want you, etc. I stopped looking forward to messages from them because of that. Told Richard to stop only to get broken up with because I voiced that I didn’t like it. What the recent guy, to me, it’ll start with a link, a meme and then it’ll get like Greg, get like Richard where that’s ALL it is. So no, I don’t want videos, links, memes, pics, etc.

So what type of guy do I like? The ones that don’t remind me of exes. The ones that don’t trigger me that remind me of the bad experiences like my exes. A person that makes me feel safe. A person that seems relationship mature. Person that doesn’t seem like he’s only out to fulfill his needs but is considerate of his partner aka ME. As in no sort of vendetta, hypocrite comments of well you did it too or “you’re allowed to do it but I can’t?” An UNDERSTANDING that just because I may do something, doesn’t mean I like it being done to me. That because I do it, it’s because you/him doesn’t share the same dislike so I thought it was ok to do.

I just want someone that’s not like my exes. If I tell you about my exes or talk about my exes, it’s a good tutorial or how to as in how not to act, what not to do because I don’t like those things.

And the whole not like other guys? He said he wasn’t. Well the other guys easily let me go. Because they don’t think I’m worth it or worth the effort. So the type of energy and type of guy I want is not the ones that will simply “respect my wishes” as they say and just let me go. Don’t let me go if I’m worth it to you. I want a guy that will show up to my work. That will show up to my house. That will bl0w up my phone.

And if I block him, he finds away around that block. Because I’m worth it to him. He doesn’t want someone like me to get away. And that he will stop at nothing to show how much he wants me and how much he’s interested. Not like all the other guys in my life and past who will let me go without a fight. That let me go without a care. That showed no emotion and just let it happen. Did nothing. No fight. No protest. Which in my eyes means I didn’t really matter. Shows I’m not worth fighting for. Shows they don’t care if they have me or not. That I’m not worth the effort.

In conclusion, he is like every other guy and is like my exes. I haven’t seen other wise. Because one he so easily let me go, a guy he claimed to have wanted for such a long time. He did the blame game and threw out the word hypocrite like my ex Matt. Like my ex Richard. He did a whole meme spam and link spam and all that stuff like Richard and Greg. Like both, didn’t like when I didn’t like/want it.

And like all my other exes, well Richard mainly, broke up with me when I voiced something I didn’t like. That wasn’t to his liking. Like them, I like them all, he didn’t stay. He didn’t compromise (those bombshells). He didn’t fight for me. He didn’t think I was worth it. Because I didn’t fit his little ideal image or whatever, he tossed me like the rest. I don’t see him as different but acting like them. He misconstrued my reluctance to try the games as not wanting to do new things at all. The delivery sucked I guess.

I really liked him. There were things I didn’t like about him. But as I said, in the big picture, things I would have lived with and over looked because love is important, the attraction, the common interests, the want to spend time with him, the liking of spending time with him, etc.

He has different nerdy priorities.

[groggyvanfleet]

Something In Your Mouth// J.M.K

(hi everyone! this is my first published piece so i’m so so so sorry if its bad but i literally listened to a nickelback song and got inspired to write something based on it but please let me know if you want me to continue writing and send in some requests!)

*disclaimer: smut...pure smut 18+ MINORS DNI!, alcohol is mentioned, oral f & m receiving, unprotected penetrative sex (remember folks wrap it before you tap it) 

word count: 3.3k

The smell of cigarettes and whiskey filled my nostrils as the roadside bar in the middle of a random state started to become livelier. The boys had recently finished a show and had a few days before heading off to the next one to perform for their adoring fans, so they decided to see what kind of nightlife the town had to offer. Sam and Danny had found a dart board and decided to test their skills against each other even with copious amounts of shots and different drinks running through their body. How they didn’t end up hitting each other surprised me. Sitting at the bar with a group of girls who you had quickly made friends with (all with the help of tequila) I continued to down the shots they had supplied oh so graciously.  

I could tell the liquor was starting to hit me as I became more confident and much sloppier. I tend to try not to drink a lot as I am, as people would say a sloppy drunk. Either from tripping over my own feet or spilling stuff on myself. I know that no matter how drunk and embarrassing I got Josh was always there to make sure I was ok but, tonight he was too preoccupied with his and Jake’s conversations they had sparked up with the random townies that would approach them. I was pulled away from my inner monologue when one of the girls started whooping and screaming at one of her friends about one of the songs that had just come across the speakers. With that the girl announced more shots as ‘this is totally her song.’ The girls all gathered around with them pulling me into the circle as well handing out the glasses and limes. Downing the clear liquid and then immediately biting into the lime I could feel some of the juice running down the side of my mouth. I scooped up the juice using my thumb as I was quickly pulled into the center of what you could call a dance floor. While being whisked away I passed Josh making quick eye contact with him while my thumb was still in my mouth. He shot me a devilish grin before returning to whatever Jake had been talking about.  

Deciding not to fight the arm that pulled me into the crowd I just went along with it. Dancing to the song playing I began to sway my hips and run my hands from the base of neck and up to my hair feeling the guitar and beat of the drums to take over my body. It wasn’t a bad song, I had to admit defiantly something the boys wouldn’t listen to. Continuing my dances moves that would shock my grandmother and make her feel the need to go pray if she saw me the song soon came to end leading us girls back to the bar for more shots. How these girls' livers weren't screaming for help was beyond me. Feeling my mind become hazier as the more shots of whatever we were doing entered my mouth I could feel most of the drink landing on the sides of my mouth and chin instead of the designated location. Using my thumbs to bring the excesses up to my lips and sucking my thumb till every drop was surely gone from the appendage.  

Listening to one of the girls whose name I never cared to learn tell a story about someone she worked with I felt an arm sneak around my waist and the feel of curls tickle the side of my face I could instantly tell it was Josh. “Hi ladies, I hope you’ve been treating my lovely girlfriend here well.” He said flashing his well-loved smile to them as he turned to press a kiss into my cheek. “Oh my god, this girl is such a wild one!” The leader of the friend group said with her high-pitched voice that made me internally cringe. “Oh, don’t I know that isn't that right mama?” Josh quipped back flashing a smirk before taking a swig of the beer that was in his free hand. “She looks so innocent, but I bet you're a freaky one, aren't ya.” One of the girls on my right said as she nudged my shoulder with her arm. Feeling a blush creep onto my face I shot Josh a look as I was somehow able to telepathically say to him are you serious. “Well, thank you girls for including her in your little party but, I better get her outta here and into bed. Poor girl here is gonna have a horrible hangover in the morning.” Josh said while bringing the hand that was on my hip up to rub my arm. “You two have fun.” One of the girls shot at us with a wink then returned to her friends who decided they needed to do more dancing.  

Walking out of the bar I embraced the cool air that hit my face as I could still feel the heat that had set in from the implying conversation. Josh hailed a cab opening the door for me and helped me inside the car then joined me while telling the driver the address of the hotel we were staying at for the night. Shooting a quick text to the boys explaining that he had left due to me feeling tired and that I just wanted to go back to our room. Putting his phone back into his pocket he then turned to me putting a hand on my knee while leaning into whisper in my ear. “Mama, you looked so sexy out there.” He said then started to kiss down my neck while his hand slowly made its way up from where he had to its new resting place on the inner of my thigh, I could feel the pool start to form in my pants by just the actions that were conspiring. “Would've much rather had my hands running up and down your body though.” He mumbled, continuing the assault of kisses on my neck. Letting small quiet whimpers out of my mouth that only Josh could have heard as I didn’t think the cab driver would appreciate two twenty something year old's getting each other horny in the back of his cab. Josh continued his whispers of praise until we reached the hotel where he quickly paid the driver and thanked him before stepping out of the cab to help me out as well. Leading me quickly through the lobby and into the elevator he pushed the button that would take us to our floor. As soon as the elevator doors closed, he pressed his lips against mine. I could taste the bitterness of the beer he was drinking earlier as he took the chance to slip his tongue into my mouth to deepen the kiss. Using it to explore my mouth like it was the first time even though he has countless times. The kiss was hungry and fueled by desire kissing me as if it were the last time, he would ever have the chance. “God, watching you suck your thumb made me think about what other crafty little lip tricks you could do.” He said pulling away while trying to even his breathing. Leaning up I tangled my fingers into his curls at the nape of his neck I began to lightly bite and suck on all of Josh’s sweet spots. “There’s one.” I spoke while continuing to leave my marks on his neck and making my way down to his collarbones, hearing him moan slightly made me smile as I knew Josh loved when I would leave hickeys on his chest or anywhere near it. He had such a bad obsession with either leaving marks on me or vice versa. The fact he would leave marks that could be viewed by other people turned him on immensely. “Baby as much as I love what you're doing I don’t wanna have people see me fucking you in this elevator.” Josh said as he pulled me away from him. “Joshy please.” I begged looking up at him through my lashes. In prefect timing the elevator dinged and the doors opened letting us know we reached our floor Josh practically dragged me out of the confined space and down the hall to our room.  

Fumbling to get his wallet out, Josh finally retrieved the keycard and slid it in the sensor to our door unlocked and he swung the door open pulling me inside and pushing me up against the door causing it to slam shut. “Josh people are trying to sleep.” I giggled out as he slipped his hand under my shirt to rub my back and he feverly kissed up and down my neck once again leaving marks in his wake. “Don't care just want you mama.” He said in between kisses. Lifting my shirt over my head and tossing it somewhere to be retrieved in the morning he began making his way down till he got to the top of my breasts pressing kisses and biting just enough to make me let out small whines and moans. I could feel him smirking against my skin at the sounds that were leaving my mouth. The man knew what he was doing, and he knew how to use his mouth to get the reactions he wanted out of me. Josh loved using his mouth on me especially when he could watch me squirm and all just because of his mouth. It gave him a sense of pride knowing that only he can make me so needy and whiny with only his mouth. Reaching his arms around me to unhook my bra and letting it fall to the ground he quickly grabbed my left breast and taking my nipple in between his lips while he massaged the right with his other hand. Letting my head fall back against the door I let out soft moans as the feeling of his mouth working my nipple and his hand grabbing and pulling at my other had the mess in my panties growing each second that passed by. “Josh, please no more teasing just want you.” I pleaded while running my fingers through his hair slightly pulling motioning to him that I wanted him to come up from his stance. Releasing my nipple from his mouth as he came up to press another heat fueled kiss to my swollen lips, he began to pull me by the waistband of my pants towards the bed, feeling the back of my legs touch the edge of the best I fell on my back on the bed slowly making my way up to the headboard. Josh made his way on top of me putting his legs on either side of mine while he began to unbutton my pants before gently pulling them down to reveal the pretty pink thong that he had bought me a few months ago as a little gift to use the next time he was home. “My baby is so pretty in pink.” He said, admiring the view for a moment before sliding off and positioning himself in between my legs. Instinctively I spread my legs open for him and peppering kisses on my inner thigh and around where he knew I would much rather have his mouth be. The feeling of his facial hair tickled me which led to giggles in between whines of desperation. “What’s so funny mama?” Josh questioned me looking up at me with a raised eyebrow. “Nothing baby, your beard just tickles.” I chirped back and smiled, letting him know he could continue. He returned the smile and gave my stomach a quick kiss before returning to his excruciating teasing. It was moments like these that made my heart flutter, even though I know in just a few moments that he would be screwing me senseless we still were able to share those moments of sweetness that just made me fall even more in love with him. How I could even fall more truly, madly, deeply in love with him was beyond me.  

“Josh, please want your mouth.” I whined out, letting the desperation and frustration I was feeling coat the words. Josh let out a low laugh before reaching up to pull my underwear off my legs. Feeling the cool air of the hotel room hit my core I let out a small hiss he slowly ran a finger against my slit collecting the wetness that had made its self-known, letting out a low chuckle Josh began to lick in small strides on my slit causing me to loudly moan out before covering my mouth to silence the moans so that I don’t wake the other guests in neighboring rooms. “None of that mama, let em’ hear you. Let them hear how good I make you feel with just my mouth.” Josh mumbled against me before attaching his lips to my clit and sliding one of his digits in and began pumping at a steady pace. Feeling the pleasure his lips and fingers brought me but not enough to I started to grind against his face to get more friction. Josh laughed at me, added another finger, and began pumping in and out faster. Feeling his fingers start to hit my most sensitive spot I let out a loud and high-pitched moan bordering a scream as the feeling was so intense letting him know to continue hitting that spot at the same pace he was going. I could feel the knot in my stomach start to tighten indicating my orgasm was approaching “Fuck Joshy I'm so close don’t stop baby.” I moaned out, securing my fingers in his hair to pull his face closer to me. “Come on baby, cum for me wanna feel you cum on my fingers.” Josh said speeding up his fingers to bring me closer to the edge. Soon enough the knot snapped, and I came undone, my hips jerking away from his mouth and fingers as he kept up his pace helping me ride out the high. “Josh too much please.” I cried out as formed and made their way down my cheeks due to overstimulation. I grabbed his wrist and head trying to push him away. “Baby you look so good coming undone on my fingers. Such a good girl.” He praised me before coming up and planting a kiss on my lips, letting me taste myself on his soft, swollen lips. “You did so good mama.” He pulled away and gave both of my tear-stained cheeks a loving kiss. Finally coming down from my orgasm I whined and pulled at Josh’s shirt seeing it as unfair I was completely naked, and he was still completely dressed. “You know what to do mama.” Josh smirked and changed our positions to whereas I was now on top, and his back was against the headboard. Crawling up his legs and settling myself on his crotch I could feel his hard on press against me, making me even wetter than before. Poor boy is so hard how has he not exploded yet. Removing his shirt, I took a moment to take in his tan chest and his happy trail that led down to the waist band of his boxers. “Like what you see Y/N?” Josh remarked as apparently, he caught me staring for a bit. “Very.” I said before attaching our lips together. Our mouths moved in synchronized movements before slipping our tongues into each other's mouth. Slowly I melted into the kiss feeling as if time had stopped moving and it was just us two in our own bubble. I began to slowly grind against him, the feeling of his pants giving me the right amount of friction causing my moans and his to be muffled by the kiss. Josh was the first to pull away with him looking up at me with blown out, lustful eyes making me want to grind harder and faster against him. “Fuck me mama, as much as you look so cute right now, you'd look so much cuter with something in your mouth.” He said with panting breaths in between words. Taking his words as a sign I stopped myself and moved down to unbutton his pants and pull them down his legs along with his underwear causing his rock-hard cock to spring out and slap against his stomach. The tip was an angry red and pre cum had started to slowly drip down from head to base. I took my thumb scooping up the bead and put it into my mouth sucking till I got it all. I could see Josh’s breathing hitch at the action and eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, fuck me.” He finally breathed out. Smirking I slowly took the tip of his cock into my mouth looking up at him with innocent eyes and I began to take more of him till he hit the back of my throat. Josh let his head rest against the board behind him has he tangled his fingers into my hair gathering it up and away from my face. There was going to be knots in it in the morning, but I’ll worry about that later. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I started to bob my head up and down while hollowing out my cheeks and rubbing what I couldn’t fit with my hands. Lewd sounds and Josh’s grunts filled the silent room making me grow wetter with each sound. “You take me so well mama, like you were made just for me.” Josh cooed while using his hand that was in my hair to push my head down till my nose was pressed against his stomach, lightly gagging around him, the sound making him moan loudly “But I wanna cum with you.” He said raising my head off his cock and flipping us over with him back on top and my back pressed against the soft sheets.

Josh lifted my legs and put them over his shoulders as he lined himself up with my entrance. Giving me a look of approval, I nodded back giving him the go. He entered slowly, giving me time to adjust to his size before he started thrusting hard and deep that made my walls flutter causing him to let out a low groan. “Fuck you feel so good mama, take me so well in your pretty pussy.” Josh said through seethed teeth as he continued his brutal pace. “Just like that Joshy f-fuck I love your cock.” I moaned out as I fisted the sheets beside me. Somehow, he was able to go harder and faster leaving your brain unable to think of words moans, whimpers, and sobs being the only source of communication. The familiar knot in your stomach returned indicating that your orgasm was fast approaching. I could feel Josh’s thrusts start to become more sloppier and uneven letting me know he was close. “I'm close mama, cum with me Y/N.” Josh said as he gave one final hard and deep thrust as he came letting out a growl painting the inside of me setting off my own release causing a sob to bubble out from my throat. Josh flopped down beside me and took his hand intertwining with his as I put my head on his chest hearing his labored breathing. “You did so well baby.” He said kissing the top of my head. I murmured a thank you and let my eyes flutter close as sleep overtook my body.  

~

“How did they even find your Instagram. I don’t even think you told them your name.” Josh said to me while helping load the bus.  

“Girls can find out anything they're like FBI agents' man.” Sam said walking by.  

[raineydays411]

Kind of want this adventure to be over.

Bruce Banner x Daughter!reader

Summary: You have finally found your father...just not the way you expected. You sort out your feelings and have some realizations about people in your life.

You felt sick. 

You couldn’t believe it. There he was. Your father, the man who has been missing for four years. 

He was here, being forced to slaughter people as a gladiator on a whole different planet. 

So many questions were running through your mind. How did he get here? Why hasn’t he escaped? How long has he been the Hulk?

You watch as Thor attempts to talk to him, but... it was almost like Hulk...like the attention. You watch in horror as Hulk charged at Thor. Throwing him into the wall. Both you and Loki looked at each other in concern, then glance at the Grandmaster who watched in glee.

You felt dizzy as you watched you father pummel his teammate. It was like he didn’t recognize him. He fought viscously. You cringed when you saw him slam Thor on the floor.

“YES!” Loki shouts, startling you and the Grandmaster, “THATS HOW IT FEELS!” 

You both stare at him, alarmed at the sudden outburst.

“I’m just a big fan of the sport...” He chuckles awkwardly.

He sits back down and looks at you. Concerned as you looked grey, like you were going to be sick. 

He strokes your back comfortly, “ Y/n, if you need to step out...”

“I can’t...I have to stay...” You whisper, watching Thor get beat by the Hulk. You prayed that he would get up. Then it happened.

A bolt of lighting shot the Hulk off of Thor. Then he rises, lighting engulfing his hands. The two charge at each other, and Thor starts to gain the upper hand. You breath a sigh of relief. The audience eats it up. Chanting “Thunder”, but the Grandmaster does not seem happy. Just as Thor was about to finish the fight, he was stunned by something, leaving him motionless on the ground. 

You freeze, watching as your father leaped into the air and came down, smashing Thor into the ground and knocking him out. Finishing the match. You turn to see the Grandmaster lean back in pleasure. 

“So, how do you like it?” He asks casually.

You can barely speak. Too shook up to even form a thought. Seeing your unease Loki spoke for you.

“It was very intense. A very entertaining fight indeed.” He says with a smile.

“What’s wrong with the kid?” the Grandmaster asks taking in your pale face. “ She does not look good.” 

“Yes! Well, um, it seems as though she has eaten something that made her sick. Perhaps it was the jar jar fruit”

“Oh no,” The Grandmaster states, “This is terrible.”

“Yes well--”

“I had a whole bowl!”

“Yes...I’d better take her to her room. Rest shall do her some good.”

Then Loki rises and helps you to your feet. He leads you through the crowds of people. 

You can barely walk. You don’t know why you’re reacting like this. You knew your father was here. 

Maybe it was because of how gruesome this fight could have been. Or maybe because you knew that for four years, your dad has been trapped as the Hulk, murdering aliens as a gladiator for some old lunatic. And it seemed like he liked it. 

Your legs grow weak and you nearly topple to the ground. 

“Woah, easy.” Loki says, “ Darling, take it slow.” 

“I- I think I’m going to throw up” And then you lean over, throwing up into a plant. 

“Ew.” Loki says, watching you defile that poor plant. 

You wipe your mouth and try to stand, you sway a but, almost falling to the ground. Loki then sighs and scoops you up. 

Your face burns, “ I’m sorry...”

“Shut up. I shouldn’t have made you go anyways.”

You stay silent. Resting your head on his chest as he walks you to your room. 

“You know...my dad never did this...” You whisper. Loki looks down at you in confusion.

“Did what?”

“ Carry me to my room. Especially if I was sick.”

“Oh..” Loki says, not really knowing how to respond.

“My mom was the one who did all that. But then...she got sick and...” You trail off. It was rare when you thought about your mom. It hurt to remember all the good times the three of you had, so like your father, you pushed it all down. 

“My mother did that too..” Loki muttered. He walked into your room and set you on the bed. 

“Get changed and lay down. I shall be back in a moment.” Then he walks out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

You change clothes and ay down. Trying to wrap your head around what just happened. 

Your father was here. You found him.

But he was the Hulk and basically a gladiator. 

He’s been here for four years. Killing people for sport. 

“God, I may have seen some weird shit living with the Avengers but this really takes the cake”, You think to yourself, shifting under the covers. You sigh, laying on your back and staring up at the ceiling. After a few moments you heard the door open. It was Loki holding a tray of food.

“Here, this should make you feel better.” He says placing the tray in your lap. It consisted of a plate of some kind of soup, some cracker like snack, and a glass of water. 

“I know it looks heavy, but it made me feel better when I was a child and ill. Although, the one made by the cooks back home may have tasted better.” Loki rambles, “I do think I did pretty well, considering the circumstances.” 

Seeing this side of Loki was shocking. Sure, you both had your moments and you knew he cared about you, but you thought it was more like a forced partnership. But, he could have left you here alone and he didn’t. He went out of way to make you something so you’d feel better. You can feel your eyes water. 

And for the first time since you’ve been on Sakaar, you cried. You cried because you haven’t seen your father for four years. You cried because you were on a completely different planet, millions of light years away from your home. You cried because Loki was being so kind.  

You cried cause you were scared.  You felt like you were in over your head, like you can’t do anything but wait. You have no idea what you’re going to do from here on out and it terrifies you. 

Then you feel a cold hand on your shoulder. You look up to see sad green eyes. Then you’re pulled into a hug. 

“I know.” Loki says softly, “It is overwhelming, and you’re still a child.”

You take a deep breath, taking in the scent of leather and something sweet. You then closed your eyes sinking into the embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another part of the castle, Thor had just woken up. Scaring the crap out of the women who were tending to his wounds.

He painfully stands up, looking around the room he was in. It wasn’t like the first cell he was in. No, this one was actually clean. It didn’t smell like body fluids or...death. It was red and white, with weapons and armor laying around. He can see a large bed and a hot tub in the room. 

Thor looks out the window, taking in the scenery and trying to figure out a way to escape. He’s startled out of his thoughts by a splash. He turns to see the Hulk in the tub, sitting in the shadows.

“...Are we cool?” He asks, holding his hands up in surrender. 

He doesn’t get a response, just a low growl. But he isn’t attacked so Thor takes it as a a sign. He goes to the window again and mutters to himself, “Huh, a Hulk in a hot tub.” 

Then he turns to Hulk, “ How long have you been like that?

“Like what?” Hulk grunts

“Like this. Big, green, and...stupid”

Hulk sits up slightly, half of his face in the shadows, “Hulk always Hulk.”

Thor doesn’t respond, opting to look out the window again, then he realizes,

“How’d you get here?”

“Winning” Hulk says proudly.

Thor rolls his eyes, “ Do you mean cheating? Did they have one of these shocky things on their necks? I meant, how did you arrive here.”

Hulk imitates a whooshing and crashing noise, “Quinjet.”

Thor gets excited, “ Yes! Okay and where is the quinjet now?” 

Hulk doesn’t respond, instead he gets out of the tub. The only problem is that he didn’t have a towel...or anything to cover himself. Giving Thor a good look at his goods.

“That’s naked...very naked” Thor says cringing. “ That’s in my brain now.”

“Quinjet.” Hulk says, pointing to where the plane is. Uncaring about the state of undress he was in.

Thor gets excited again, “Yes! I can get us home, off of this awful planet. You’ll love Asgard! It’s like earth but gold”

“Hulk stays.” Hulk grunts, taking a bit out of some fruit.

“What? No no no, I need your help to prevent Ragnarok.” Thor says desperately.

“Ragnarok?” Hulk questions uncaringly. 

“Yes, its the destruction of my home planet, the end of times.”

“Thor go. Hulk stay.” Hulk says stubbornly. 

Thor is desperate. He needs to get home before Hela completely destroys everything he holds dear.

‘Look, I’ll tell you what, you help be get to Asgard, and I’ll help you get back to earth.’

“ Earth hate Hulk.”

“What?” Thor exclaims, “ Everyone loves Hulk! You’re part of the team, you’re our friend!”

“Banner’s friend.” Hulk grunts, not believing a word Thor is saying.

“WHat? I don’t even prefer Banner” Thor says awkwardly, “ He’s all ‘ NUmbErs aND SCienCe’ and stuff.”

“Banners friend!” Hulk exclaims. 

By now Thor is frustrated, “Fine. You stay here on this awful planet. Besides this room his hideous. The red and white, like just pick a color.”

“Smash you.” Hulk grunts

“You didn’t smash me, I won that fight.”

“Smash you!” Hulk throws the fruit at Thor.

Thor dodges it calling Hulk a baby. He heads toward the entrance that is left open.

“Thor go!” Hulk shouts.

“I am going!” Thor shouts back, but before he can step out of the room he’s shocked. The obedience puck stunning him

 As he falls to the ground, he can hear Hulk laugh. 

“Thor no go. Thor home.”

He sighs, looking out the window. He briefly hears Hulk say something about training. Then he sees her. The woman who got him into this mess in the first place. 

She pays no mind to him, instead greeting Hulk like they were long time friends. 

They go train, leaving Thor alone with his thoughts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up in the dark room. It seems that Loki has left as you were alone. Your eyes sore from crying, you look around for your bag. You find it, pulling out your phone, earbuds, and journal. 

You write your feelings as you listen to music. 

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to go find your father and Thor, but another part trusts Loki and wants to stay. It doesn’t help that he has been the most fatherly figure you’ve had in a  while. 

Sure you had the Avengers. You could even argue that Tony has filled that role of father figure since your dad went missing. But, you and Loki formed a tight bond in a few days that took months for you and Tony to form. You both got along well, bonding over distant fathers, dead mothers, and theater. Not to mention you both had a sarcastic attitude. If anything, he’s taken over a big brother role, but nevertheless; betraying his trust was one thing that you couldn’t do.

You sigh, knowing what you were going to do. 

You were going to find your father.

So you get out of bed and change into your suit. You put your phone in your stuff in your bag and grab your weapons. 

You walk down the hallways, not knowing where to begin to find your father. Then an idea hits you. If you can find out where Thor is, you’d most likely find out where your dad is. So with that in mind you decided to ask a guard. 

“Excuse me.” You say to a red guard, “ Do you know where the …”Lord of Thunder” is staying? The Grandmaster allowed me to go and meet him. I am a big fan” 

The guard hesitated, not knowing who you were. But since you dropped the Grandmasters name, he pointed you to the hallway Thor was supposedly in. 

“Thank you!” You beamed, making sure to skip away as if you were a fan. You skip till you were out of sight and sigh, slowing down to a walk. You strolled down the hallways, throwing fake smiles at the guards you passed. 

Finally, you reached a room at the end of the hallway. You notice a woman pass you and walk staright into the room. You hide behind a wall and listen to the conversation. 

“Hey big guy!” She says, you notice that she has an accent similar to Thor’s.

“Angry girl!” another voice says...Your fathers voice. You can hear footsteps coming your way. You quickly pull out your phone and sit down, hoping they’ll walk right past you. You don’t need Hulk seeing you right now. If anything, he’d change back to Bruce and that’ll cause a whole bunch of problems. 

Thankfully, they pay no mind to you. You watch as they joke around and nudge each other. It’s strange, seeing the Hulk to at ease with another person. 

It kind of hurts, in the same way it hurt to see your dad with Natasha. It was like you couldn’t get close to either side of him. Or he chose not to get close to you. 

Pushing away your feelings, you get back to the mission, finding Thor. 

You head  to the room at the end of the hallway. Surprisingly, there were no guards or even a door blocking your way. You can see Thor, standing by the window. His back was turned to you but he was completely still. 

You walk through the door way, and look around the room. It was messy and kinda ugly. The red and white really didn’t clash well.

Then you were startled by Thor loudly gasping. You run up to where he was.

“Thor? Thor are you alright?”

He focuses on you, eyes widening at your presence. 

“Y/n?” He says slowly, “ Y/n?! What are you doing here?”

“The Dr. Wizard said my dad was here. So I came looking for him...” You say slowly. “ Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better.” Thor laughs, “ Have...have you been here this whole time?”

“Yeah, I got here the same day Loki did, so about two weeks ago. Since then I--”

“Wait, have you been with Loki this whole time?” Thor asks.

“Yeah, he’s the reason I’m still alive to be honest.” You say, “ He helped me get in favor of the Grandmaster and he’s been looking out for me ever since.”

“Loki?” Thor says in disbelief, “ My brother, Loki? He has been taking care of you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it either...but he’s been so kind to me, Thor. Kinder than anyone has been in a while.” You say softly. 

Thor smiled, he was glad that there was still a part of the Loki he knew growing up. That you were alright. 

“You look awesome.” He says taking in your outfit, “Where did you get those clothes?!” 

You laugh, “ It seems like the Grandmaster likes to give make overs.” You look at Thor, “ Dude they cut your hair?!” 

“Yeah some creepy old man cut it off.” He says, suddenly he pulls you in for a hug. “ I am beyond glad to see you here.” 

You blush and hug him back, “I’m glad you are okay.’

Then you frown, “ My...my dad...he’s here.”

Thor freezes, “ Oh Y/n I completely forgot..”

“It’s okay... he looks fine” You say bitterly, remembering how chummy he was with that girl.

“ He can’t know I am here.” You say quickly, “ If he does, he’ll change back and raise suspicion.”

“I need help to get out of here.” Thor says, “ Asgard is in danger.”

“Why don’t you just walk out the door?” You ask

“Because, this neck thingy shocks me whenever I try to leave.” Thor says showing you his neck.

“Ohh so that’s why you lost the fight,” You say realizing what happened.

“I dis not lose” Thor said, “Your father cheated.”

You snicker, “What ever you say Lord of Thunder.” 

Thor sighs at the name, knowing that you weren’t going to stop calling him that. 

“Y/n, I need you to help me get out.” Thor says desperately. You furrow your brow, thinking of a way to get him out of here. 

“Okay...I have an idea.” 

You spend the next thirty minutes comin up with an idea. Revising and editing ideas that’ll get him out of here unscathed. 

That’s when you realized that you shouldn’t be here when Hulk gets back. 

“I have to go.” You say quickly, gathering all your stuff. 

“Wait, wait, how are you going to escape...” Thor says worriedly. “ Your father doesn’t even know your here.”

You sigh sadly, “ I doubt he cares. He seems pretty content here.” 

“Y/n, that’s Hulk, not Banner. Your father loves you.” 

You chuckle, “ You know, in last few weeks. Loki showed he cared about me more than my father has in all the years I’ve been alive.”

“Oh...that’s bad.” Thor says, because if you knew Loki cared about you and not your father...that was saying a lot.    

“Good luck Thor, I better go before some guards show up.” You say, patting his arm and dashing off. And again, Thor was alone. 

Running through the hallways, you bump into someone. You fall to the ground in a huff.

“Watch where you’re walking!” 

“Sorry dude, jeez don’t get your undies in a twist.” You say, getting up from the ground. You look up to see the girl who was with the Hulk. 

“Do..do I know you? You look familiar.” She says, closely looking at your face. 

“Umm, I tell stories to the Grandmaster.” You say quickly, “I better go.” 

Then you run off again, leaving a confused Valkyrie behind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You finally make it to your room. Panting as you close the door.

“Where have you been.” 

You jump, not expecting anyone to be in your room. 

“Relax, its just me.” Loki says, rolling his eyes, “ Now, where were you? I came back into your room, expecting to find you in bed, resting.”

“Sorry, I... I went to see Thor.” You say honestly. 

“Y/n.” Loki starts, but you interrupt him.

“I know! I know I shouldn’t have gone, but I felt really bad and wanted to make sure he was okay.” 

Loki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked at your face, seeing your guilty eyes and frown. He’s demeanor softened, “ You are too kind for your own good.”

You chuckled, “Well, one of us has to have redeemable qualities.”

“Hey!” Loki shouts offended. You laugh at his face.

“I can get used to this” You think to yourself. You yawn, suddenly tired from all your activities.

“Get some rest.” Loki says, “You’ll need it’” 

Then he leaves the room after ruffling your hair.

As you get ready for bed and finally lay down, you realize you can’t sleep.

 You have a crushing feeling that something big was going to happen the next day.

[wreckofawriter]

Best Not To Cry Over Spilled Milk

Pairing: James Potter x Sirius' twin!reader

Warnings: A shit ton of angst, a little swearing

Word Count: 3,779

Request: @rini-scallison: May I request something? If I may I would like to request something like not so perfect sister but instead it’s with Sirius as the brother (a twin if you may) and the reader is like the perfect daughter and Sirius hates her but she tries really hard for him to have a happy life and there’s a bunch of angst and stuff ! You can add a romance in there if you would like too ! Thank you!

A/n: Okay sooo I'm not sure if this is exscatly what the request was but it's how I interpreted it, I really like it at least, I hope you guys do to. I'm hoping to bang out my last few requests, I'm quarantined till April 12th sooo... (stay safe everyone, love you all <3)

Sirius liked to believe he was a pleasant person. At least for the most part, and considering his background, he thought he did pretty good. He may not have been an angel but he had good friends, he helped those around him and unless your name was Severus, he was usually kind. Usually. Unfortunatly there were two people in this world that could break his carefully crafted exterior in a matter of seconds. They both shared his name.

The first was his mother, someone who in all honesty he saw as less of a human and more of a grotesque creature from a child’s nightmare. In his mind, her black heels were replaced by sharp talons. Her long fingernails were claws of obsidian and her dark eyes had the ability to turn you to stone. She had spent her time in Sirius’ life diminishing him to nothing more than a clone of her terror as he tried to make himself anything but. 

The second was a success story. The clone of his mother’s terror. His beloved twin, y/n Black or as many had taken to calling her recently; the Slytherin Queen. And boy was she. She followed every order dispatched to her, obeyed every demand, bowed before the monster that had raised her. She had kept on her blindfold her mother had placed on her the minute she had entered the world. Maybe it only took the twelve minutes which y/n had emerged before Sirius for her to fall under a spell which even the youngest black had started to break from. 

    Sirius was never sure what happened to you. You always sat with your back straight at the dinner table. You never complained about the corset which was always sinched too tight, you would just let your vision go dark from the lack of oxygen. And it completely infuriated him. 

    Sirius really wished he hadn’t cared when he had gotten the letter. He really wished he had thrown a party and done something stupid like set off fireworks in the common room. But he hadn’t. He had instead demolished an entire bottle of fire whiskey crying because, fuck it hurt to be tossed aside by the people who were supposed to love you most.  The next morning he dragged you into an empty classroom hungover and still smelling of liquor and asked you what he fuck had happened. 

    You had told him you begged your mother not to, you told a sob story about a sad little argument in which you- the obvious victim -had fought for his place on the banner in your living room. 

The truth had been very different, his mother had exposed the fact that it was indeed your idea to kick him from the family, that you were convinced he was a disgrace, nothing more than a bug to squash under your boot. He wished he could believe you not his monster. But he knew you. He knew you so goddamn well. You were his twin. His other half. He saw the way your eyes darted away from his own, you shifted on your feet, how you bit the inside of your cheek. You had lied. You had lied to him and he would never forgive you for it. 

    “And what is the M.O.M classification of the Phoenix?” Merrythought asked. Your hand shot in the air. “Ms. Black?” 

    “An XXXX professor, although it did not earn this rating from its aggression but only because so few wizards have been able to domesticate it.” You explained and Sirius rolled his eyes. 

    “Correct Ms. Black, five points to Slytherin.” The teacher praised, you beamed still sitting straight as a board.  

    Sirius let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like the words ‘Kiss ass’ earning a few giggles from the surrounding students. 

    You pretended you didn’t hear him, hand tightening around your quill. 

    James watched as your knuckles went white, How did your brother still bother you? He wondered. 

    Sirius leaned back in the chair next to him mumbling something unnecessarily rude. James fought the urge to roll his eyes. When class was dismissed Sirius made a point to pass you as you packed up. 

    “You’ll make an excellent death eater sis.” He taunted and you paused for a moment but refused to comment. 

    Sirius left the classroom James followed risking a glance over this shoulder to see you being joined by a blonde boy and the Lestrange sisters. Sirius caught him looking and sneered, “A bunch of future murders. Fuckin’ assholes.” 

“You know you could give her a rest, you haven’t even spoken in like a year,” James suggested. 

Sirius scoffed, “And who’s fault is that?” 

James shrugged, knowing the awnser. 

“You know she’s ghosting Reg too?” Sirius glowered, “He always looked up to her too, I have no clue why, but he did. And now she won’t even talk to him.” 

Remus and Peter joined the pair as they made their way into the Grand Hall. 

“Talking about y/n?” Remus inferred.

“Hard not to when she’s such a bitch.” 

James cringed at his friend’s choice of words.  “I’m hungry, let's get some food.” He spoke attempting to change the topic. 

“Why else would be in here?” Remus laughed. 

James cracked a smile opening his mouth to speak but was cut off. 

“Oh shit.” Sirius cussed. 

“What did you do?” Remus sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“I didn’t do anything but can you get me food and meet me in the common room, I may or may not be avoiding Marleen,” Sirius spoke ducking behind James.  

“Sure, just get out of here, I really don’t want to hear her voice right now.” Peter cringed at the memory of being yelled at by the sharp toned girl. 

“I’ll get food, you guys ditch,” James suggested. The other three agreed to leave the hall as the fourth grabbed four plates filling each and flicking his wand causing them to float in the air surrounding him.

James then made his way from the hall. As he turned out of the door he ran straight into someone, stumbling backward a bit he straightened his gaze to see you, your group of what he supposed were friends sneered at him. 

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up.” You spoke, voice monotone. 

They silently agreed, leaving you with the curly-haired boy who now pushed his glasses nervously up his nose. 

“Hey Potter, I need to talk to you.”  James would never admit he was scared of you but he did feel his heart leap to his throat at your words. 

“What’s up?” He asked hoping you didn’t catch as the sentence wavered slightly. 

You bit your lip glancing down at your feet before looking up to meet his gaze. “I wanted to thank you.” 

That is not what he expected you to ask. 

“I can’t even begin to say how relieved I am that you took Sirius in. Please thank your parents for me as well.” You seemed almost nervous, “I actually have something for you.” 

James could not believe that the words you were saying were actually coming out of your mouth. He had expected you to cuss at him, call him a blood traitor amongst other names and then follow your friends into the hall. But you were thanking him instead. 

You rummaged in your bag before removing a red box about the size of a wide bookmark. You held it out to the boy. 

James stared at you half expecting you to break out laughing and reveal the joke. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” You mumbled shoving the gift at his chest. 

“Sorry.” James murmured opening the box eyes widening. Inside was a watch, a damn nice one. It looked to be at least plated with gold, if not solid. Its inside was a scarlet red with three different faces, one of which instead of showing roman numerals around the edge showed the phases of the moon. The strap was a reddish leather, clasp gold as well. 

“Here, watch this.” You spoke stepping closer and carefully removing the watch from its velvet cushion. You held it delicately, pressing an almost invisible button on the side. In a flash two delicate golden wings erupted from the sides of the device and James realized in fascination that the watch now appeared to look like a snitch, you paid no mind flipping it over to reveal a small square gap on the back. “It’s enchanted with an undetectable extension charm so you can put just about anything in it.” You explained clicking the small button again. 

James watched in marvel as the wings fluttered closed closing the gap seamlessly.  “This is amazing y/n,” He whispered looking up at you only to realize you were centimeters away. He could feel your breath fan over his cheeks. It was cold and minty.  

“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done for me.” You reasoned sliding the watch back into its case and stepping backward. “And before you say you can’t accept it remember that I have plenty of money.” 

Those were going to be the next words out of his mouth. 

“I have one more thing to ask you, James.” You seemed really nervous now, you hoisted the strap of your bag back up over your shoulder. “How’s Sirius? Is he okay?” 

You had baffled him once again. 

“I know I should be asking him that but ever since last year he would sooner light me on fire than have a civil conversation with me.” You sighed.

The Chaser stared at you, this is not how he thought your conversation would go.

“So is he okay?” You asked again, almost urgently. 

“Yeah, he’s fine.” James assured you, “He’s a little moody but overall he’s good.” 

“Have his panic attacks stopped?” You questioned.  

James who had no clue he even got those nodded, “I think so.” 

“Mental breakdowns?” 

James ran his hands through his hair, “He gets them every once and awhile, Moony and I help him through though.” 

You gave a weak smile and stepped forward wrapping your arms around his neck, placing your forehead on his chest. James froze, slowly letting his arms hold your waist, “I honestly can’t thank you enough. You’re a godsend Potter.” You mumbled. You stepped away a few seconds later crimson kissing your cheeks. “Don’t tell Siri we talked. He’ll be pissed.” And with that, you left. 

James felt his heart hammer as he sucked in the air he didn’t realize he had stopped breathing. What just happened?

James had had a crush on you the second you locked eyes centuries ago on platform 9 and ¾. You were the main reason he had looked so long for a certain compartment. A compartment that contained a set of twins, one of which would become his best friend. You had always been very pretty, your strong attitude had aided in that conclusion as well. He thought you were going to be very good friends with him. That was until you were sorted into Slytherin and Sirius soon revealed his rivalry with you.  

He had still harbored feelings for you, small ones he chose to ignore most of the time. He never told a soul, passing his feelings from girl to girl. He proved to be quite good at burying them. You also showed just how good you were at unearthing his secrets with a laugh, a wide smile or the save of a quaffle. The feeling of you in his arms rested in his mind for a long time. He dreamt of you, yearned to hold you again. You had smelt like caramel and cinnamon, you fit into his chest as a puzzle piece did to its neighbor. He really wished you hadn’t hugged him. 

As your sixteenth birthday approached both twins appeared to be more and more on edge. James was dead set on throwing a massive party but Sirius didn’t seem into it. As the day loomed closer he got jumpy, almost paranoid; as if someone was going to lean out from behind him and throw a bag over his head before dragging him away. 

James also began to notice your absences from classes. More and more often you were simply gone, not being anywhere for days before appearing out of nowhere. You always looked so pale when you got back from wherever you had gone, the circle under your eyes always looked darker. He had asked Sirius what was up but got nowhere, he would just lick his lips and say nothing was wrong. A blatant lie. 

You disappeared four days before the 3rd and was gone the entire week. Sirius refused to go to classes that week as well, claiming to be sick, which was fair considering he looked white as a ghost most of the time. 

When you finally returned it looked as if you had been kissed by a dementor. Your face was vacant of any color, your usually vibrant eyes looked pale, bags underneath them bruised brown. 

Both James and Sirius simultaneously tried to convince themselves you just had a stomach bug, that your sunken cheeks were nothing to be concerned about. Both knew they were wrong. 

Sirius found you easily. He knew you too well. You always snuck outside, even when you were younger you would always sneak to the park a few blocks away to escape your mother’s rage. Until you learned to play with fire rather than run from it.

He followed you to the greenhouse. You had always liked herbology. 

You turned at the shuffle of feet to see your brother, he looked almost as terrible as you did. 

“Did you do it?” He asked, his voice sounding so empty as muffled chirps of crickets flowed through the cold November air. 

You refused to look up, You sat in the corner of the cold glass house, your knees pulled to your chest, eyes cast on your dress shoes.  

“Did you really go through with it?” His voice cracked, he stumbled over his own feet. 

You still didn’t answer. Tears had built so thickly in your eyes you couldn’t see. You blinked and they went cascading downwards, raindrops leaking off your chin. 

“Answer me y/n!” Sirius cried through gritted teeth, tears of his own threatening to spill. 

“We have to get Regulus out of that house.” You spoke so plainly it was hard to believe that the words had come from you. “Fuck Siri they have a new initiation ceremony. He can’t go through with that.” 

“Shit y/n/n, what did you do?” His voice was a mix of disgust and despair.

“I don’t fucking know.” You answered honestly.

“Did you kill someone?” He hissed. 

“I wish I did Siri, I really wish I did.” 

Sirius dropped his shoulders a defeated sigh coming from his lips.

“We have to get him out soon Siri. He is so much more stubborn than you were too.” You whimpered. “I mean you practically disowned yourself, mom just needed a push with you.” 

“Why did you give her that push?” Sirius gasped, “Why did you do that? I could have helped you.” 

“I saved you, Sirius.” Your sentence broke in half, “I know you hate me for it but I saved you.” 

Sirius wiped his eyes furiously, “How did you possibly save me y/n?” He seethed.

“What do you think mom would have done if you were still in that house four days ago?” You asked. You knew he already knew the answer. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you save yourself?” Sirius hollered, “Why did you follow every rule she set? Every fucking order she gave you?” 

“The Black family needed an heir.” You shrugged tongue darting out to collect a tear from the corner of your mouth. “I knew it had to be one of us, if not you or me then Reg.” you paused, “So I decided it would be me.” 

    “How? How could you possibly decide that?” Sirius sobbed now standing in front of you. You still didn’t look up. 

“It was easier than you would think.” You chuckled darkly.

“It’s not fair y/n.” He stated, “We can still help you. Dumbledore will help, you can stay with James and me. Please y/n.” 

“It’s too late and you know it.” You spoke, “Best not to cry over spilled milk.” 

“But your life isn’t spilled milk!” Sirius shouted. 

“Might as well be.” You shrugged finally meeting your brother’s eyes. They matched your own, puffy and red. 

“How can you say that?” The boy spat, “It’s your fucking life!”

“Not anymore.” You sighed. “Look, Siri, in all honesty, I don’t give two fucks about my life right now, we have less than 13 months to find a way to get Regulus the fuck out of that house and then boom he turns 16 and none of this shit matters anymore. So stop worrying about me and start realizing we can still save him.” 

Sirius had never felt so incredibly selfish before. You had given away your life for him and for Regulus. What had he given away? He had gotten the life he wanted while you would suffer for the rest of yours. And all you said was ‘It’s best not to cry over spilled milk.’ He suddenly remembered every jibe and comment he had said to you. You had done nothing but bite your tongue as he taunted the nightmare you lived him so he could bask in a daydream. 

“I need you to start hanging out with him.” You mumbled, voice raw, “I have been avoiding him, hopefully, it will help. I’m gonna start making up lies about how his grades are slipping and he’s hanging out with mudbloods, maybe dating one.” You sighed, “Reg still wants to impress mom, I need you to get it into his mind how twisted she is. Make him hate her. Make him hate me too, use me as an example.” You paused, “Can you do that Siri?” 

Sirius didn’t speak for a long time. You didn’t pressure him to. You stared straight ahead tears still leaking from your eyes. 

“Yeah, I can do that.” Sirius finally spoke. He sounded half-dead, deflated. He sounded like you. 

“Good.” You didn’t waste a second. You got to your feet wiping your tears and then you walked away.  

James sprinted down the halls. He has his eyes peeled to the two names in the greenhouse. He made it free of the castle and saw a figure making their way towards him. He glanced down at the map and saw that it was you.  

As he neared you he was finally able to drink in your appearance. Your eyes were bloodshot, you were attempting to dry never-ending teardrops, dragging your forearm repeatedly over your face. When you looked up at him his heart broke. Your bottom lip was shaking eyes so glassy it must have stung. 

You dove into his chest, wrapping your arms around him and you began to cry. Your body jumped with sobs as James pulled you closer to him. 

He forgot about everything but you as you nuzzled closer to him. He forgot about Sirius, about the tears soaking through his shirt and the dew that had dampened his robes. He only cared about you. You and the fact that you still smelt like caramel and cinnamon, you and your overly soft hair, you and your cold hands wrapped around him.

James nestled into your hair inhaling its intoxicating scent. He then hooked his hands under your arms and lifted you so your hands were wrapped around his neck. You understood and wrapped your legs around his waist your head becoming buried into his neck. He placed one hand under each of your thighs and began to carry you inside. As you made your way through the castle your tears began to slow, sobs turning to whimpers.

James felt his face bloom with deep red roses. His heart was thumping far too quickly. When he reached his destination he only had to pace twice before the door showed its self. The inside of the room was relatively the same as it always was except for the large brick fireplace and massive couch filled with large pillows. 

The Chaser attempted to set you down on the couch but your firm grip on his neck and the legs wrapped around him forced him to follow downwards. A fresh blush coated his cheeks. You burrowed back into his embrace and it was quiet for a long time. The only noise coming from the crack of the fireplace and the sound of a faint wind blowing outside.  

“Y/n what happened?” James finally asked and you pulled a bit away from him so you could look him in his eyes. 

He looked so handsome, his deep chocolate brown eyes were wide with worry, only more magnified behind his round glasses. His cheeks were painted with poppies, his lips plush, and pink. His unruly thickly curled hair framed his face perfectly, a small strand falling between his eyes. 

“You know I always had a thing for you.” You smiled weakly, “From the moment I saw you on the platform I thought you were the cutest thing I had ever laid eyes on.” 

James wasn’t quite sure how to respond, he assumed he was dreaming. 

“I never wanted to tell you, James, I never thought I would. But I need to.” 

The room fell quiet again. 

“Can I kiss you y/n?” James finally asked his heart near shattering. 

You nodded slowly and he let his eyes flutter shut, yours doing the same as your lips gently met. The kiss was so fragile you were afraid it may break. He tasted like pumpkin juice, his tongue slipping into your mouth seconds before you pulled away. 

“Y/n let me help you.” James pleaded as you swung your feet off of the couch, sitting upright as you mumbled ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’ quietly to yourself. 

“Just.. take care of Siri for me.” You could feel tears beginning to climb back upwards. 

James sat up beside you, “Y/n please.” He begged. 

“It’s okay James.” You assured him with a watery smile. “You’ll get over it.” 

“But y/n-” 

You shushed him placing your pointer finger on his lips. He blinked a small tear falling down his flushed cheek. You wiped it away with your thumb. 

“You’ll be okay James.” You paused standing swiftly, “Best not to cry over spilled milk.” You murmured over your shoulder as you left the room. 

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