#and i can't come down because i've been crying for an hour straight and the last thing i want is to ruin my mom's mood

[luveline]

hi jade! would you be open to doing a hurt/comfort Eddie fix where the readers dealing with some personal stuff at home and starts distancing herself from him, they fight about it but makeup after a couple of days or something and it's a fluffy happy ending? love your writing and hope your doing well xx

hey!!! tysm for ur request tw unspecified family drama ♡♡♡ fem!reader

You've thought about nothing besides your fight with Eddie for days now.

Arguments can feel so transient. One second you're golden, the next you've argued, and ten minutes later you can't remember half of what you said or what Eddie said, and you're listening to him drive away with shaky hands.

The shaking comes and goes. It's a fucking gnawing anxiety. As if things weren't bad enough, now your boyfriend's mad at you (for good reason) and it's the only thing you can think about.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he'd asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't do that. Don't pretend there's nothing wrong."

Eddie's good at that, slicing down to the core of the problem without dawdling. You are pretending nothing is wrong, because you don't want to think about everything that's wrong, or even admit to it, not with Eddie. It's all messy and stupid and you shouldn't feel so much shame about the things you can't control, but you do.

The phone on your nightstand starts to ring. You lift your teary face off of a damp pillow and squint at it.

"Listen," Eddie says as soon as you pick up, no time for greetings, "I just wanna see you, okay? No more fighting, I promise."

You blink in surprise. The already high emotion, the snap of relief. Tears well in your eyes and you sound full of them as you say, "Okay."

"Aw, baby," he says under his breath. "Can I come over?"

You tilt your head and listens for the noise downstairs. "Can I come to you?" you ask.

"Of course you can... Uh-" There's a lot of sound from the other line. "Don't cry, sweetheart, okay? I'll come and pick you up, how's that? Please don't cry."

His sweetness and his not wanting you to cry is exactly what makes it unmanageable. You stifle a gasp with the back of your hand and close your eyes, feeling silly for reacting so strongly. You've really missed him. Really needed him.

"Are you- I'm gonna come and get you," he repeats, sounding not quite frantic but definitely worried.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. We'll talk about it."

You hang up and get dressed into something that doesn't look like it's been cried in for two days straight. You wait until you see his headlights from the bedroom window and slink out of the house on pins, heart spinning like a top as you approach his van.

It's dark. Your breath forms a cloud in front of you, and you hesitate with your fingers curled around the door handle.

Don't cry, you think.

You bite your tongue and pull open the door. Eddie's already looking at you with a careful smile.

"Hey," he says, offering his hand to help you up the short step as he always does. You take it not because you've ever needed it, but because you really want to hold his hand, and you don't let go once the doors closed. Eddie makes no effort to take it back.

You look down at his hand in yours. You know it well. The thickness and length of each finger, the single ring on his middle finger, the teeny tiny mole on his marriage finger.

"Can I give you a kiss?" His voice is rougher than usual, low.

You nod but still can't look at him — if you look at him you'll definitely cry. Your chest races in wait for him to lean across the gap and kiss you. It's a relief when he does, his lips warm and insistent. One kiss, a second.

"I'm keeping this," he says, pulling your hand toward his thigh.

You laugh quietly. He squeezes your hand in response and starts back on the road.

"I'm sorry for..." He cringes. "For getting so angry with you."

"It's okay."

"Is it? I've been thinking about it for hours and it just doesn't feel like you to stop talking to me. And I got so angry I pushed you back into a corner, and it didn't fix anything and it just made me miss you."

"You didn't push me into a corner," you say.

He turns the wheel in one hand, the other tight but never, ever cruel where it stays squeezing your own.

"I was quick to jump at you. I hate that. I don't want to be like that."

"Everybody fights," you murmur, trying to rub at the back of his hand. He has such a secure grip that's its difficult, but you try.

"I feel like an asshole, okay? Let me apologise, please." The first sentence said with self-deprecating bravado, the second with genuine remorse.

"You were right, though. I haven't been talking to you. It's just- there's just stuff, Eddie, that's all, and I didn't want you to know. It's," — a lazy tear runs down your cheek and you bring your shoulder up to wipe it — "my stupid- stupid family." You stop abruptly, embarrassed by how much you've said and the upset way you've said it.

"I want to know, though."

There's a really long gap. You and Eddie are good at this, at communicating, at knowing when there's as much need for love as there is for conversation. But you're also both flawed. Eddie's insecure, and he doesn't like feeling vulnerable. It makes sense that he'd assume your pulling away was something to do with him. In a way, it was. And you're embarrassed and quick to hide how you feel, so afraid of leaning on him for support that you end up looking as though you don't trust him.

And obviously there's the lingering anger of a fight, of wanting to be right. You wish there wasn't. How much easier would it feel on your heart to decide Eddie was entirely to blame, that he'd misread the signs and made a big deal out of nothing?

It would be easy. But. It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be love.

"Love you," you murmur, worried he won't say it back.

He pulls your hand up quick to his lips and kisses your knuckles. "I love you."

Which, despite everything, is what heals the rift. There's obviously more talking to be done. You need to tell Eddie about what's going on, and you will.

"Wanna table it?" he asks.

"Yes," you say tearfully, your relief palpable.

"Only for tonight."

"Yeah. Please."

His headlights splash across tarmac and up the brick side of Benny's diner. He's quiet as he puts the van in park, loosening his grip on your hand to push down the handbrake.

"Here," he says, pulling a sleeve over his palm, "gotta wipe those cute cheeks," — you laugh because it's awful — "or all the guys'll think I'm treating you wrong." He wipes your cheeks tenderly, lip pulled between his teeth for a short second. "Guess maybe I have been."

"No, you haven't," you say softly.

Your eyes close as he cleans up under your lashline with his thumbnail. You can't bear to open them as he takes your newly cleaned face into both hands, warm palms and the thick of his rings against your cool cheeks.

He kisses the tip of your nose.

"Dork," you say.

There's no way to describe it other than fondness in his hands, his fingers as they move slowly downward. He cradles your face from the jawline, thumbs pushing quarter circles.

"Open your eyes," he demands in a funny voice.

You open your eyes. Bloodshot, achey. Glad to see him. He's really pretty, handsome, everything. Brown eyes big and wide in the dark, pupils and irises merged into one.

"Let me get some food into you." He frowns some more, then takes on a light, almost blasé expression. "Heard Benny's got a new milkshake machine. Won't let me get you one, will you?"

"Do I really have a choice?" you ask. As soon as you smile Eddie pins it in place, beaming beaming beaming. He's like the sun.

"Sure you do. You can choose the flavour."

You lean heavily into one of his hands. Whether you can stomach it or not, if Eddie wants to buy you a milkshake, how can you deny him?

[russo-woso]

My clingy girl | Chloe Kelly

"Baby, i'm so sorry. I wish I could be there. I really wish I could but I've still got roughly two months left." You apologised to Chloe over the phone.

You had been deployed in South Sudan for just over 9 months.

You had gotten used to being deployed for such long periods but there wasn't a day that went by that you wished you was at home with Chloe, going to her matches to support her.

Your job in the British army was so rewarding, but so demanding and sometimes heartbreaking at times.

This deployment was harder than any before though.

The last time you were in England, you had just been let go from being deployed for 7 months. That was in early July of 2022. This meant that you were able to watch Chloe in the euros. Including the final.

You were in the family and friends section with her family during the final. To this day, you still can't explain how proud you are of chloe. Not only for scoring the winning goal, but just for everything she's achieved.

Once the final whistle blew, Chloe ran straight over to you, engulfing you into a hug before pulling you in for a bruising kiss.

Once the celebrations were over on the pitch, and the trophy lifting ceremony was over, Chloe came over to us once again, but this time you got down on one knee.

That day will always be one of the best days of your life. You got to watch your girlfriend become a European champion, and then afterwards, you managed to make her your fiancé and soon to be wife.

The very next day, you got a phone call saying you had 48 hours before you was being deployed again.

You and Chloe were both sad that you had to say goodbye to each other but Chloe took it the hardest.

As the flashbacks of Chloe's face when you left played, a familiar voice was heard over the phone, bringing you out of the trance you were in.

"Y/N, I know you'd be there if you could. Don't be sorry, babe." Chloe said, her voice breaking as she said it.

The lionesses had a big match against Brazil. It was a one match tournament called the finalissima and with Chloe's top notch performances at the minute, there was no way she wasn't going to play.

"Listen Chlo, I only have thirty seconds left on the phone. I love you so much, baby. So so much. You're going to smash it during--" You began but the sound of beeps indicated that your time on the phone had run out.

You put the phone down before returning to your set up bed which currently had a framed picture of you and chloe on it.

The picture had just been taken when you had proposed to her.

You gently kissed the glass covering the photo as a tear ran down your face.

"Corporal Y/L/N, we need to talk."

————————

That conversation is what lead you to here, on your way to Wembley.

You had been let go from deployment for a month.

You hadn't told Chloe, you wanted it to be a surprise for her.

God, you couldn't wait to see her again. To hold her again, to feel her lips on yours.

You had spoken to Leah and she had managed to make sure you had a seat.

On the way back to England, she had messaged you explaining that to get you a spare ticket, she had to inform UEFA you'd be coming and they wanted you to help give out the medals.

You figured it made sense agreeing to it because it would be the perfect way to surprise chloe.

The main thing on your mind though, was chloe. Your Chloe.

————————

You had arrived at Wembley, in your full uniform, and made your way to the family and friends box.

Chloe's family spotted you straight away, gasping and immediately jumping up to hug you.

You sat down and watched the match.

Tears welled in your eyes when you saw Chloe.

She wasn't in the starting 11, but you saw her sitting on the bench, waiting for her turn to shine on the pitch.

With a goal from Ella Toone in the 23', we had stayed in the lead all throughout the game.

Chloe had come on in the 74', which ultimately made you cry again.

Somehow, 3 minutes into injury time, Brazil managed to find an equalizer meaning the game would go into extra time.

Everyone was sat on the edges of their seats all throughout the extra thirty minutes.

A loud sigh was visibly heard when the final whistle blew, indicating that the game would go to penalties.

Georgia was the first to take the penalty, which she successfully did, The Brazilian player doing exactly the same.

Ella missed the following penalty, but the Brazilian player did too.

It was when Rachel scored her pen, and the Brazilian player didn't, that a surge of hope ran through you.

Alex followed next, scoring her penalty.

Once the Brazilian player had scored a penalty for Brazil, Chloe stepped forward to take one.

She placed the ball down onto the penalty spot and took a few steps back.

The ref blew her whistle and Chlo took her iconic leap before smashing the ball into the back of the net.

You jumped up, hugging Chloe family before focusing my attention onto the pitch again.

You saw Chloe running into the corner before saluting.

It had become her new celebration, she had explained over the phone that it was dedicated to you. 

You started making yourway down to the tunnel because the trophy ceremony would be soon.

As you waited in the tunnel to be announced, you placed my cap on your head, making sure it was straight.

"And to award the medals and the trophy, please welcome Colonel Y/N Y/L/N." The announcement was made and you made your way onto the pitch.

Your eyes landed straight on Chloe, who looked as though she was about to fall to the ground.

A massive smile grew on your face as she started running towards you.

She jumped into your arms, her legs wrapping round your hips, your hands supporting her up.

"Hi, baby." You croaked, your voice breaking, as she buried her head into your neck.

"Are you really here?" She managed to get out through the tear as you nodded your head. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, my love. More than you'll ever know."

Chloe then took her head out of your neck and placed both hands on your cheeks, her thumbs rubbing over them.

She then leant in and you made the final movement to connect your lips.

"I've waited to do that for nine months." She admitted and you put her down on the floor, pressing your lips on hers once more.

"I know. And we've got a whole month to make up for times we couldn't." You tell her, resting your hands on her hips, holding her close to you.

"We can plan our wedding now, we can go out for walks at night like we used to do, I can show you the best cafe in town. It's just opened but it has the best coffee and every time I go in there it just reminds me of you. Oh, and I can show you—" Chloe rambled on and on but you just looked at her in awe.

"Baby, I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you." You told her and bought her in for a kiss

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, babe, but as much as I don't want to let you go, I've got to give your teammates their medals." You pointed out to her, pointing at her teammates who were all watching the interaction between you and Chloe.

"I don't want to let you go." Chloe whispered in your ear.

"How about you stand next to me whilst I give out the medals and then I'll give you yours at the end. That way you don't have to leave me." You chuckled at her clinginess and intertwined your fingers with hers, taking off your cap and putting it on her head. “My clingy girl.”

[pastelminx]

My Best Friends Sister (Pt. 2)

I closed the door and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Connor turns to me, serious concern all over his face. I put my finger to my lips, motioning him to follow me out to his balcony.

"What's going on, is she okay?! You were in there forever!" He shouts, clearly concerned.

"Calm down, she is okay. There's a lot to tell you so just get comfortable." I tell him as we sit down. I run through almost everything and make him agree to listen and respect her wishes. Reluctantly, he agrees and I know he'll stick to it. I think he only agreed because I'm allowed to take care of her and he knows I'll fill him in when needed.

"I sent her to bed early because she was so stressed so I'm just going to check and make sure she listened." I tell him as I stand and he nods.

"You've always been really good for her. She respects you and so do I. You have my permission to do anything it takes to help her through this." He tells me and I nod knowingly.

I slowly crack the door to check on her, not wanting to wake her if she's sleeping, but unfortunately that's not possible. I swing the door open and startle her. She snuck into my room and took her laptop back.

"Well, well, well. Looks like you just landed yourself in big trouble, Sugar. Save your work and hand it over, now." I bark. She knows I'm pissed and listens quickly.

I put the laptop down and drag her by the arm to the way we were sitting for our talk earlier. Except this time, I grab her face so she can't avoid looking at me. "Was I not clear earlier? This was for your own good and you couldn't even manage to follow a simple instruction? You're smarter than that, Katie. You know what comes next. Since your bedwetting problem is back, so are your childhood punishments. Bring me your hair brush, little girl." I ordered, and she jumped up from the sheer force of my tone.

“Please, Jace, we don’t need to do this. I’ll go to bed.” She pleads.

"You disobeyed a simple bedtime and it was very important, I can't let this slide. You're almost an hour after you were supposed to be, you're getting 30 strokes on the back of your thighs. Right under your now wet diaper. Come on, over my knee." I grabbed her arm to guide her over. She started crying and begging.

"Please, please, Jacey, I'm too old for spankings. Please don't do this, your spankings hurt. I'm so sorry, I promise I'll listen! I'll go straight to bed." She sobbed.

She used to call me Jacey as a little girl and act just like this. This all hits a lot different now. The annoyance I used to get from her bad behavior isn’t the same. I loved hearing my nickname come out of her mouth again.

"You're never too old for spankings from me, especially when you're back in diapers. I know you're sorry and you will be at the end of your spanking too. Now come on over my knee. Don't waste more of my time." I said as I pulled her towards my lap again. This time she let me. I was glad she was wearing a diaper. I think it hid how much this was turning me on. I tried to make it quick for us. She was full on bawling when I was done, just like when she was younger. I pulled her up in my lap to hug her and held her until she calmed down. I shushed her and praised her for taking her spanking so well and then I started patting her bottom. She seemed to love that, she burrowed into my neck and quieted right down. This was all very interesting; I didn't know how to take it honestly. I've always loved Katie and felt a pull towards her but this feels like something new unlocked. Maybe it's just temporary. I kept patting her bottom and she relaxed so much she was falling asleep on me. As much as I'd love to stay just like this, I had to move. I stood up, carrying her over to bed. She wouldn't let go of me and started whining "no no no no".

"What is it, Sugar? Jacey is just putting you to bed, you're okay." I soothed, using the old nickname. She reluctantly let go of me and I felt bad leaving, I waited until she was falling back asleep to leave. Again, Connor was there looking at me like I was freaking insane. "Did you just give my sister a spanking?" He asked, stunned.

"Uh... yep. Yeah, I did that. She disobeyed a direct order and well she's back in diapers now so it seemed fitting." I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Good, she needs that sometimes. You're the only one who can pull that off. Thanks for taking care of her." He said, slapping my back and heading towards his room.

"Yeah man, no problem." I said, a little shocked myself.

[scientia-rex]

Read some more of Toxic Parents tonight and wow!!!! the amount of anger I have!!! and the incredible unwillingness I have to actually remember my childhood and feel associated feelings!!!!! Like, there are events I keep telling over like talismans, because these are the events that prove I'm not crazy. These are things that happened that should never have happened. The time Dad kicked the door in is the biggest one. The time I spent twelve straight hours cowering in the far back of our station wagon with my fingers jammed in my ears so I wouldn't hear my father screaming at my mother and my mother sobbing as we drove to a different state. The time I told my mother I had gotten accepted to graduate school and her first words were, "How are you going to pay for it?" instead of "Congratulations" or "I'm proud of you."

But these aren't all of it. They're so far from all of it. One memory I have is not of the presence of abuse, but the sudden, bewildering absence of it: my sister drove me to the nearest town with a mall, an hour and a half away. We were stopping to pick up snacks for the drive back, I think at a Safeway. I picked up a box of Golden Grahams cereal and nervously asked my sister if I could have it. She said, "Of course you can, you know what you want." In the limbus of a childhood spent being told I was picking the wrong soda for myself when I gave my order at fast food restaurants, suddenly being told I could have what I wanted T-boned me emotionally. It was like running into a wall I hadn't known was there. What? I can just want things? I can just get things and have them because I want them? I don't have to justify it, or lie, or hide what I want? No one is going to tell me I'm stupid for wanting something or that I'll regret it?

Just an incessant drip-drip-drip of emotional abuse, sometimes punctuated by a flash flood. "If I leave your mother, how do you think you're going to eat? You're going to end up on the street."

And now, reading the section on how children end up feeling about the passive parents who enable abuse, I just think, oh, there's me! There's me. I hated her and pitied her and loved her and wanted more for her. I didn't have the adult emotional capacity to understand how much of her life she was complicit in, but damningly, I did vaguely, tangentially understand that she was constantly making excuses for Dad--coming to my bedroom to sit on my bed and tell me, while crying, that he was sorry, while he never apologized. Making it my job to comfort her. I said to her once that I remember, "If he was really sorry, he'd stop doing this," and she just looked at me with something that looked like sorrow but I could tell was rage--she was angry at me for not forgiving him and letting us snap right back into the "good" phase between angry outbursts, where we could, for however long it lasted, pretend to be a normal family.

And how she always resented me. She resented that I was separate from her, she resented that I could do and see and understand things she couldn't, she was angry when I went into Psychology, even angrier when I went into medicine. She's been throttling down her anger at Dad for as long as I've been alive, pretending to be malleable, having vague health complaints and maladies mixed in among the real ones, forever retiring to her bed with a washcloth over her eyes instead of interacting with me.

And now that I'm an adult, and not just an adult but a middle-aged doctor, why don't I call? Why do I insist on bringing up the past? Why do I expect Dad to apologize? I'm hurting his feelings, after all.

The past. Sure. When I graduated from medical school, he named the worst doctor we ever met and said, "He went to medical school, too. Don't get a big head."

And when we were talking, once, not long ago, maybe two years or so, about how he used to stand there and yell at us--I can't remember any of the words anymore, just the way he looked, the tone of his voice, the experience like being buffeted by a strong wind--he said, "At least your sister fought back. You just stood there and took it."

I can't imagine a clearer illustration that he doesn't actually regret his behavior. He doesn't regret his actions. He still feels justified. We were disappointments, we were failures, we weren't him, we weren't what he wanted for us, and more than that, we were convenient targets for his rage. You can do almost anything to your children and get away with it. And he didn't hit us, so it was okay, and the fact that we were hurt by the actions he took with the intent to hurt us means that we were weak. And it's okay to hurt the weak.

Christ! This is the man who, in a fit of sullen self-pity, when I gave him a mug that said "World's #1 Dad" for Father's Day when I was probably eight or nine, talked about how we both know that's not true. As if a child is your therapist. As if it were my responsibility to reassure him.

My mother has read Toxic Parents. My mother has read Why Does He Do That? She has a bachelor's and most of a master's in psychology. She has an IQ of 150. She is a bad mother. It feels like the worst judgment you can make, a bad mother. It feels worse than calling someone a bad father. Because we expect less from fathers. But a bad mother is unnatural.

But lots and lots and lots of mothers are bad at being mothers. And I love mine and I hate her, and I'm angry and I'll always be angry, and I'll die angry, and I have to try to carve what happiness I can from a world I entered into under false pretenses. I was always told I was wanted. I knew I wasn't. I may have been intentional, but I wasn't wanted.

My mother's mother just died last week. I didn't know her. She chose not to know us. I hadn't seen her since I was twenty-two and graduated from college. My mother is struggling with her relationship with her mother. She often tells me her mother was a narcissist. I want to ask her what she thinks she is. She's not a narcissist, but she's an enabler, she's a doormat, she's a classic case of codependency, and I don't think she sees it that way. I always got the sense she was just waiting for us to grow up and go away so she and Dad could go back to being happily miserable alone together.

I asked her, this last year, if she'd read Why Does He Do That? and she said she had, and she asked me carefully why I was thinking about it, waiting for me to confess to her that my husband of ten years was abusive. She's been gunning for this relationship since the beginning--I'd been with him for maybe a year when she mailed me a copy of He's Just Not That Into You (or maybe it was the sequel, It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken) along with an article on how to date as a single older woman. I was 23. She was flabbergasted when I said I thought Dad was abusive. Denied it immediately. I listed examples and she didn't even say words, just made simultaneously pained and exasperated noises.

She wants me to be single and a career failure and pathetic so she can feel good about herself in comparison. Dad thinks he wants me to be like him, but if I actually behaved like he does, I think he finally would belt me.

I had to hide everything good in me from them so they wouldn't deliberately ruin it. I couldn't tell them about my writing. The first time I finished writing a novel I told Mom and she didn't even acknowledge it, just told me to do the dishes. I was sixteen. I can't tell them what I love about my husband because it would be like speaking to them in a foreign language. They think it's a performance, like their performance, and they're always waiting for me to slip up and reveal the misery they're sure is lurking just underneath.

I've done well. They don't own me. I wish I had real parents, but I'm going to try not to shop for oranges at the hardware store anymore.

[hutchersonsgurl]

We're just friends - Clapton Davis Part 1

Paring x fem reader and Clapton Davis

Warnings:, pre-established relationship, SMUT. characters are 18+ and MINORS DNI. This contains depictions of fingering, oral (m receiving). (No use YN)

Summary: You and Clapton have been dating secretly because you were the school nerd, and Clapton didn't want to ruin his "cool" status. But you have had enough of being a secret girlfriend so you changed your image.

Noah's POV:

It was a bright and sunny morning, and the birds chirped happily outside my window I smashed the pillow into my head not wanting to get up not wanting to deal with school today who wants to spend their 18th birthday in school all day? not me but I have to look at my phone and see that I got a text message from the school's mean girl Brooke it said "Check your email you'll want to see this I put down my phone I walk over to my desk and click on the link on the email thinking it was some dumb video she sends everyone making out with her boyfriend but no this was way worse as I press the video I see Clapton and Brooke sitting together at the party last night in the video Brooke " since your little girlfriend isn't here tonight how about we send her a video" she says with an evil smile "wait what? Noah and aren't dating but we all know she has a huge crush on me but I'd never date a loser like her, I mean come on I'm Clapton and she's the biggest nerd in our school" He says

I feel tears well up in my eyes as I realize the boy who I've been dating in secret for over a year now who told me we'd go public tonight doesn't give a damn about me he cares about his popularity more than me.

I pick up my phone and start to call Jade the phone starts ringing and I hear a pickup

"Hey what's up?" she asks

I couldn't help it I just started crying

"wait hold up did Clapton's dumbass do something? I swear to god if he did I'll beat some ass" she says

"he called me a loser in front of everyone..." I say in between sobs

I explained everything that has happened up to now to Jade and she's pissed off

"Okay so don't bother getting ready for school," Jade says

"why?" I asked

"because it's time for a makeover bitch meet at the mall in 20," she says and hangs up

20 mins later

I met Jade at the salon and it feels like hours at this point but after 2 hours I turn around to see myself in the mirror my hair is straight and dark Black and My makeup is smoky black eyes and nude lipstick

" Holy shit I can't even recognize myself, " I say in shock

" Nah I still only see you your outer bitch is on the outside," now come on I'll pay since it's your birthday girl, and let's go tonight cute dress for tonight," Jade says paying and then dragging me to the clothing store we go into a chic boutique that always had stylish and unique pieces I try on a few dresses and really don't like them until Jade comes in with the most beautiful black dress on I try it on and I love the way it hugs my curves and I spin around in it and take a few pictures in this dress after I take a few pics I get a bunch of text messages from Clapton

TEXT MESSAGES

Clapton: babe where r u?

Clapton: u missed the first period is everything okay?

Clapton: fuck I heard you saw the video I didn't mean any of it u know I love u please talk to me

Clapton: Baby please answer me

Clapton: I'll see you at your party tonight and we'll talk then

I exit out of the text messages and put my phone in my purse and get dressed Jade and I walk up to buy the dress and we walk out of the store

"you know Clapton is going to eat his heart out tonight and speaking of eating let's go get something to eat," Jade says as she drags me to the ice cream shop

we walk up to the counter and we see a really cute guy at the counter

"hey, what can I get you guys today?' Gabriel asks

" I'll have a hot fudge sundae and she'll have an Oreo frosty" I answered

"Hey, I know you your the new kid Gabriel what are you doing here shouldn't you be at school?" Jade questions

"I could ask you two the same thing" he responds with a chuckle

I notice that he's tall and tan and has beautiful black curls in his hair

"Are you doing anything tonight? because if not it's my birthday today and you should come tonight" I asked

" uh yeah sure cool I'll be there see you soon" Gabriel answers

we pay and we leave heading back to my house

as we got to my house I could see my mom putting up decorations for the party

"Hi, honey how was school today?" Mom asked

"oh actually didn't go...." I answer waiting for a yelling

" you are so lucky today is your birthday young lady we will continue this talk tomorrow" Mom replies

part 2 coming sooon

Not edited will fix soon

[brotherwtf]

Hi hi hi!! Love ur writing so much lovey!! ^^

Can I request a freaky clegan age gap!au drabble? I was thinking something like John is doing some paper work or something at home in his office, and Gale is just like SO NEEDY. Like this man is going feral for John, literally on all fours.

Gale keeps trying to subtly hint to John how he’s feeling and what he wants, and John is just so focused on his work and completely oblivious to gale’s now aching arousal.

Gale is like on the verge of tears at this point, just needing John’s touch and praise ect. Eventually he just can’t take it anymore and snaps, barging into John’s office and straddling his lap, kissing him desperately and that leads to…yk what 😏

Thank you sm hun!! >< 💝💝

thank you so much!! I really appreciate the kind words 💕💕

freaky age gap clegan aus are always welcome, in fact they are encouraged keep sending some ideas for those freaks!!

it's a good thing that Gale is at school and John works that they don't get a lot of down time together except on weekends, because those assholes would be in bed 24/7 if they could

thinking maybe they got snowed in or something, they can't leave the house so they both have to stay in and just be around each other

and Gale is feeling so fucking horny, couldn't even place what was doing this to him, but he wants to be fucked SO BAD, and it's not helping that John is RIGHT THERE. AND HES NOT DOING ANYTHING

he starts by wearing a cropped sweatshirt he got to match with Marge, walks in front of John's office, brings him water or lunch so that maybe John will notice him, but John's busy signing important papers (tm) to notice Gale's flaunting his waist around

so Gale tries again, puts on a pair of shorts that shows the curve of his ass perfectly, bends over obnoxiously when John comes into the kitchen to put his dishes away, but John just gives him a kiss on the cheek and goes back to his office and Gale wants to scream, he's been so fucking hard all morning and just wants John to help him

the last straw is when Gale calls John "daddy", something that always works, but either John's so locked in or straight up didn't hear him that he doesn't respond, gives Gale a chaste kiss and returns back to work

Gale's gonna throw hands at this point, is so close to just throwing the pieces of paper away, but he has one final defense: putting himself between John and his work

so he straddles John's hips, grinding his ass back against John's cock and shoves his face into John's hair, whining and making pretty noises to get John's attention away from him

it works a little bit, John's definitely distracted, can't exactly do paperwork around Gale's body, so he puts his hands on Gales waist and kisses him, asks him how he's doing

and Gale just fucking snaps "I've been so fucking horny all day, you look so damn hot and fuckable when you're all serious and doing your paperwork and I've been trying to get you to come fuck me for the past three hours but you're too fucking dense to see how desperate I am for it" and Johns jaw just goes slack

and finally, FINALLY, John picks Gale up with his hands under his thighs, pushes the papers to the side and drops Gale on the desk, kissing and marking up his neck instantly

he'll finger Gale until he's crying and sensitive, will kiss him through it until Gale can hardly breathe, and then will fuck a second orgasm out of him until his thighs are trembling and he can hardly hold himself up with his arms, moans echoing throughout the office

anyway, I don't think John will go that long without noticing again

[anarcoqueer1994]

Fix it fic for this part 1

Eddie ripped the bandage off first. He seen the way Steve was acting shy and embarrassed after he came. Eddie had seen that before. It was the same anxious look every "straight" guy had given him after ever hook up he has ever had. He knew going into it that Steve couldn't see him as a real relationship. He knew Steve was just horny and he could help. He was used to this, so why did it hurt so bad when Steve left.

He tried to assure Steve(and himself) that nothing had to change, and Steve said the same. But then Steve left, and he knew he fucked up his friendship with the best guy he has ever met. Steve couldn't look at him the same. He was obviously uncomfortable.

Maybe it hurts so badly because Eddie let his feelings get in the way. He knew he was in love with Steve and still did this stupid shit. He had loved the way Steve felt beneath him, the way the other man's body melted under his touch, but it wasn't worth losing one of his closest friends.

He needs a distraction, anything not to think of Steve. Maybe after a while it won't be weird anymore. For now he'll try to keep some distance.

He decides to call up some fling he had in the back of a club in Indy. The guy was a few years older than him, but he had been fun; he was in a metal head, liked DnD, was obsessed with horror. Honestly, he was perfect for Eddie. He had told him to call him up if Eddie was ever in the area.

He gets ahold of him, setting up a date with him the following night. He really hopes this will be enough to get rid of the giant Steve shaped hole in his heart, only made bigger by this ill-advised hookup.

~~

"Steve..." Robin says softly as they are cuddling on his couch. She is running her fingers through his hair as he lays his head in her lap.

"Yea?" He whimpers, having been crying for the better part of an hour, not that he would let anyone other than Robin see.

"You should call him tomorrow..."

"Ugh, " Steve practically whines. "What for?"

"To talk about this. I know I'm not crazy, I've seen the way Eddie looks at you. This has to be some crazy misunderstanding." She insists.

"If you knew he "liked me," he sniffles. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because I was hoping you two dinguses would figure it out on your own terms and shit, like me and Vickie. But obviously you both are too dense even after having your tongue down each other’s throats." She smirks.

"Ew, gross dude." He says, even if he has a little smile. "Do you really think he likes me like that, even though he said that stuff?"

"Yea, why wouldn't he, Stevie?" She assures him.

This gives him hope. Maybe Eddie was the one for him. After all, he wasn't blind. He had seen Eddie staring at him before, but he had tried not to read too much into it. But maybe he can read into it. Maybe Eddie was just confused, and he does want Steve as much as Steve wants him. "Ill think about calling him." Steve says, not hiding the smile in his voice as he does.

After that, they fall asleep watching some dumb movie.

Steve wakes up first. He decides to listen to Robin, give Eddie a call. He really wants to talk to him in person, though.

It's early, he knows he will probably be waking up Eddie, but he just can't wait. His conversation with Robin last night, really gave him hope that maybe he is overreacting. Maybe Eddie does want him, does want to love him, be with him.

He dials the phone and waits until Eddie sleepily answers, "Hello?"

"Uh, hi Eds..." Steve says shyly.

Eddie feels his chest tighten, anxiety from last night comes flooding in. He tries to push it down. "Oh, hey Steve. What's um up?"

"Ah. Um, nothing, really. I was just wondering, or I mean, I wanted to ask, do you want to maybe come over tonight?" And like hang out and talk?" Steve sounds nervous.

Eddie’s heart sinks. He knows Steve is a nice guy and probably wants to talk about last night and let him down easy. Or maybe he is trying just ignore what happened and show Eddie that nothing has to change. But he can't handle that right now. So he chokes out as confidently as he can. "Sorry, man. I got a date tonight. Maybe some other time?"

"Oh, a date. Um, cool. Yea that's fine. Another time" Steve replies, hiding the crushing feeling of getting his heartbroken again. There is a silence between them, so he quickly adds. "Well talk to you later." And hangs up.

Robin was wrong. Last night didn't mean a God damn thing to Eddie. He had some date tonight to prove it. He knows Eddie is not his, but it still hurts so much that there was someone Eddie wanted to date, not just fuck like Steve.

Steve hurts. He hurts worse than when Nancy called his love bullshit. This really was proof that another person he thought he may have connected with doesn't want his love either. He isn't worth it. He drags himself back to bed. Robin was up when he got back to his room. She was getting ready to leave, had the opening shift at the store. She sees the heartbreak on Steve's face.

"Are you still upset about last night. I thought we talked about this, Steve. Just call Eddie. It has to be a misunderstanding."

Steve's head is already buried in the pillow as he mumbles, "I did..."

"What?" She can barely hear him.

He lifts his head. "I said, I did. I called him, asked to hang out tonight so we can talk, and he has a date." He says shortly.

"What do you mean he has a date?" She says, confused on why Eddie would have a date after what he did last night. She had been sure for months that these idiots loved each other.

"I mean, he has a date with someone else. Someone better." Steve's voice cracks, tear welling in his eyes.

Was she wrong about what she thought she saw between them? And if she was, did Eddie know he is breaking Steve's heart? Was he leading her best friend on. For a moment, she sees red, face only softening when she meets Steve sad eyes. She sits back on the edge of the bed, "How about I call off, and we just sit around eating ice cream?" She pets his hair.

"No, Robs." He sniffles. "I think I wanna be alone. Go to work, okay?

She doesn't try to argue. she just nods her head. Steve is stubborn. "Okay...I'll be by later, okay?" Besides, Vickie is outside waiting to drive her.

"Yeah, okay." He manages to push out before burying his head again, content to lay in bed and sulk all day.

And Robin goes to work. But when she gets off, she does not go straight to Steve's.

~~

Eddie is running around the trailer, trying to get ready for this date. If he is going to make it to Indy, he has to leave soon. He wants to look perfect; he hopes this guy will be a long-term thing for him, someone who wants him completely. He tries not to think of Steve; tries not to be upset that Steve doesn't want him, tries to remember that at least Steve is his friend.

He is looking in the mirror, trying to fix his hair when he is drawn out of his thoughts by a pound at the door. Wayne is at Claudia's for the weekend, and he was not expecting anyone, so he doesn't know who it can be. When he doesn't answer right away, there is another pound and then a voice. "I know you're in there, Munson. The van is here." It's Robin...and she sounds angry? He is confused why as he answers the door.

"Calm down, Buckley. I was coming." He says as he flings open the door.

Without warning, she is pushing past him, making her way in.

"Yea, sure come on in. " He mumbles as she passes. "What are you doing here? I'm kind of busy getting ready." He says louder so she can hear.

"That's why I'm here, dingus!" She looks annoyed as she stands in his living room. "Why are you doing this to Steve?!"

"Doing what?" Eddie asks dumbly. How can he be doing anything to Steve. He was the one here with the heartache.

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, trying not to lose her temper. "You really hurt him."

"I know. I shouldn't have put him that position last night, and..."

"No, you don't know." She cuts him off. "Steve really likes you, and you shut him down. But I convinced him to call you, and then I find out you are going on a date? So what, Eddie? Did you use his feelings just to screw around? Or are you really that blind?"

Eddie doesn't know how to process any of this. He is confused, Robin’s words racing through his head. "Steve likes me?"

"Oh my god!" She sounds exasperated. "Why the hell would he let you jack him off?!"

"Oh God, he told you that?" He isn't surprised, honestly. He should gave known Steve would tell Robin. "I thought he just wanted to mess around, Robs. That's how every other straight guy I have hooked up with was. I didn't want to make him feel weird."

"Oh, so you are that blind? Steve isn't just some "straight guy." I mean he doesn't really hide that he is into dudes with us." She rolls her eyes. "But that's not the point. Do you really think Steve is the kind of guy that would just use his friends like that? Has he ever given you any reason to think he would do that to you, Eds?" Her voice is softer, realizing her friends really are just oblivious idiots.

Eddie’s face drops. "No... he hasn't." He drops on the couch, putting his face in his hands. "Fuck." He sighs. "I fucked up, didn't I? I hurt Steve."

"Yea, you did." She agrees bluntly, before sitting next to him. "But, I think you can fix it."

~~

Steve eventually made his way out of bed, not bothering to get dressed in anything other than sweatpants and an old t-shirt, still in his glasses. He tries to ignore his feelings, trying to distract himself with TV. He feels almost numb, accepting that he doesn't get a happy ending. He was delusional to think otherwise.

He hears a car pull up outside and assumes it's Vickie dropping Robin off. He does not bother to get up, she has a key to his house. But suddenly he can hear music blasting from the outside. As he listens more he can almost make out the lyrics to "Burning for Love" by Bon Jovi, one of his favorite songs. The music keeps playing, and he can't figure out why they are just sitting out their blasting music.

He decides to get up and see what's going on, a little annoyed at Robin for sitting out their so long with the music glaring. But when he makes it to the window by the door, it's not Robin out there, it's Eddie. The music is coming from his van, as he awkwardly fidgets in front of the door, trying to decide if he should knock. He doesn't notice Steve staring, but Steve can't help it. There Eddie was with a few shiny stones in his hands and bouquet, hair tied up in a messy bun, and he is wearing an honest to god button-down shirt. He looks adorable.

But Steve's even more confused than before. Why was Eddie there? Shouldn't he be on his way to his date? Against his better judgment, he finds himself walking to and opening his front door before Eddie has a chance to knock.

Eddie looks like deer in headlights when the door opens. "Eddie, what are you doing here?"

"Uh, um. Here." He shoves the bouquet of pretty pink roses to Steve's chest, along with the shiny rocks, and Steve swears Eddie is blushing.

Steve takes the flower, tries to keep a straight face, tries to avoid getting his hopes up. "I...I don't understand." He admits.

"I..." Eddie lets out a sigh. "Listen, I am an idiot, okay? I messed up really bad last night."

"Eds," Steve tries to say.

"No, Stevie. Please let me finish." Eddie looks at Steve, hoping he will give him a chance. Steve just nods.

"I don't want things not to change. I lo...like you so much." He stops short of love, knowing it may be too soon for that. "And I ws just scared that you wouldn't want me like that, I mean, why would you? You're Steve Harrington. But I was just scared and I didn't want to freak you out and...." Eddie is rambling, nervously fidgeting with his hands.

As Eddie talks, Steve feels his heart swell. Robin was right, this was all a dumb misunderstanding. Eddie wants him and wants to be with him. As the song playing in the background comes to an end, and Steve can see Eddie drowning in his own ramblings, he uses his free hand to grab Eddie's shirt, making him go quiet as Steve pulls him into a kiss.

It takes Eddie’s brain a few seconds to catch up before he is kissing back, letting his hands fall to Steve's waist.

When they finally pull apart, Steve smiles "I lo...like you too.,"

Thanks for reading and thank you for those who asked to be tagged. I know it's rough. Sorry if I forgot anyone <3.

@steve-the-hairrington @starlight-archer @plyerice27 @notsopretty-notsopink @anaibis @thing-a-ling @bjtremike @lololol-1234 @newtstabber @vampireinthesun @super-cosmic-library @mentalcyborg @plumchaos @alyelf @sofadofax @kissaphobic-kas @koyislosinghismind @starman-jpg @just-a-tiny-void @zelpharnorlee @deadontheinside20 @bejeweledbaby @bat-outta-hel

[nikkisixxsmissingpick]

Just a unfortunate dream

==============================

Warnings: nightmares, mentions of death, Gerard cries, pet names

written by someone who's first language is NOT english

==============================

Gerard is the best partner you anyone could ever wish for. They were caring, they were gentle, not to mention absolutely stunning.

You couldn't be happier.

Every weekend you both would alternate sleeping in each other's places, because you felt as if being with him during college wasn't enough. Today was the turn to sleep at yours.

When it was around 6 pm Gerard knocked at your door, the only thing he he brought with him being the shirt he borrowed from you last month

"hi sweetheart"

you greet them with a little peck as they enter trough the door, handling you your Metallica shirt back

"I've missed you..."

They mumble looking down, as if a bit ashamed. He was always a bit shy around you, no matter how much time you guys have been together

"but, Gee, I've seen you earlier today to grab the movie and I called, like... Three minutes before you left home"

You say with a chuckle, hugging their waist to keep them close. He buried his face on your neck, breathing you in

"I know, but I still missed you!"

You smiled, kissing their cheek and walking with him towards your room. Both of you enter the poster-filled bedroom

Gerard sits down on your bed, taking out his shoes as you put your "a night at the opera" Queen vinyl to play, lowering to volume to let it be just a background noise.

==============================

3 hours later

==============================

You both are cuddled up on your bed by the time the "the shining" credits roll on the tv screen. You look down at your lover to see them sleeping soundly, griping slightly on your shirt.

You grab the controller and turn off the tv, covering both of you with the blanket as you slip down on the bed some more, wrapping your arms around Gerard's waist gently.

Slowly you also drift to sleep

==============================

Not even thirty minutes later Gerard starts to move around in bed, little "no"'s and "please stay"'s leaving his lips every now and then.

Gerard jolts awake, startled. They look around the room, their breath irregular and fat hot tears rolling down his cheeks

You slowly wake up at the faint sound of crying coming from your side

"sweetheart?"

You call, a bit groggy from sleep. When you sit up straight you bring a hand to cup his cheek, wiping away their tears with your thumb

"what happened, love?"

Gerard leans in your touch, but guilt starts to accumulate on his chest and he shakes his head

"it's stupid... I'm sorry for waking you up..."

He sniffs a bit and you frown, a small curve on your eyebrows as you look at them

"sweetheart, if you're sobbing then it can't be that stupid... And the last person to judge you would be me.."

You reassure, running your hand on his greasy black hair. Gerard just breaks down then and there, slowly resting his head on your shoulder as he sobs

You hold him close, rubbing his back soothingly

"i-i had a dream... You died... All because of me"

They say in between sobs and hiccups, his hands grabbing on your shirt tightly as to be sure you're really there

"and I didn't tell you, but I've been having this kind of dream over and over again... I can't take it anymore... I want to make it stop..."

He continues, all while you play with the ends of his hair and rub his back gently

"sweetheart... First of all, I'm very, very proud of you for having the courage to tell me... And the other thing is that I don't have a magic recipe to make the nightmares stop, but if you want I can be with you every night... I wouldn't mind a bit hold you every night if you think it might help in a way"

Gerard looks at you with wide eyes, as if they can't believe you

"you would?"

He asks in a whisper, looking at you in the eyes

"mhm, every night if you need"

You reassure with nothing but love resembling on your face

"I don't deserve you"

He says, a small smile tugging at their lips in the middle of tears

"yes you do... It was just a unfortunate dream, okay? I'm here... I'll always be"

You say, pressing a tender kiss to their forehead. For that night Gerard didn't have anymore nightmares.

==============================

This is shit, but I wanted to write something. I accept criticism

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter three: unexpected

authors note: finally able to post this chapter! it was a struggle for me to finish and this isn't even all that i've written, i've wrote so much that what i had originally planned for chapter three is going to be chapter four. however, even in the struggle, i'm excited for what i have planned for this series <3 as always please enjoy and feedback is appreciated! this is also entirely in naomi's pov :)

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 8.4k (another doozy)

cw: ~kissing~, lots of angst (your chest might hurt), sexual content (phone sex lol), feelings realization, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Living in a van for a week was not all it was cracked up to be. This week included being crammed in a tiny space for days on end, getting to know her friends in more personal ways than she ever dreamed of, learning how to sleep sitting straight up and being comfortable, and eating more fast food than she ever had in life. Though, as her mind drifts off to her flight later this evening, she can't help but already miss it.

Yeah, it sounds fucking awful, especially being the only girl in the crew, but there was something about it that Mimi loved. She got to spend a whole week with some of her favorite people in the entire world, and the thought of going back home makes her sick. She’s never liked goodbyes. They've always left her feeling sad, almost empty. Depending on who it is she often feels like something is missing when leaving them, or when they leave her.

It was hard when Noah and Nicholas moved to Los Angeles. She was happy that they were chasing their dreams and doing what they wanted, but she couldn't deny the sadness that crept into her every time Noah brought up their move. The day they left was hard, but the first night was even harder. She truly felt like there were pieces of her missing. 

It’s starting to feel a lot like that right now.

She feels Noah squeeze her hand and looks up at him, but the boy is looking out the window, lips turned down into a frown. She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder. This morning had been... quiet. They all knew what was coming but no one dared to say anything. Even Folio was quieter than normal, giving her a sad smile when she greeted him that morning.

Noah has barely said a word to anyone today, and he hasn’t left her side for one second. He’s not usually this clingy, brief touches here and there at most, but ever since last night he’s been glued to her. He even helped her at the merch table with Nicholas, and when they weren’t busy, he had his hands on her. In retrospect it was nice, but she knew deep down the clinginess is coming from a place of sadness.

Before she knows it, Jolly’s pulling into the airport parking garage. She told them they didn’t have to park and follow her inside, just dropping her off at the door was fine, but they all insisted. It’s quiet when they make their way inside, Nicholas insisting that he carries her things while Noah’s hand clutches her own.

They waited until the last moment to drop her off, per Naomi’s request, because she wanted to spend every last moment with them. She had about an hour before her planed started boarding, and by time she got through TSA, she’d probably only have enough time to get a quick snack and get ready for boarding.

Jolly and Nick said their goodbyes first, pulling Naomi into their arms. She tries not to cry, swallowing down her tears when she lets them know she’ll miss them. They were good friends before her arrival, but after spending an entire week with them, she knows their friendship has strengthened. Jolly even kisses her forehead before he lets her go, giving her a gentle smile before pushing her towards Nicholas who was next.

She turns to meet Nicholas' gaze and she thought she could hold it in like she did with Jolly and Nick, but the second his lips turn into a sad smile she feels herself breaking.

“Come here.” 

She rushes into his arms, slipping hers around his waist as she pressed herself against him. She doesn’t stop the tears and instead lets them flow as she buries her face against his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, just tucks his face against the crook of her neck and squeezes her to him.

“I’m gonna miss you.” She manages to get out, voice muffled by Nicholas’ jacket. He laughs, but it falls short.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Mimi.”

She pulls away from him to finally get a good look at his face, eyes scanning his features. This time feels different, good or bad she’s not sure, but she’s trying to savor every second she has left with her best friend.

Nicholas leans forward and brushes his lips against her forehead before whispering, “No more tears. We’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

Naomi sniffles before giving him a tiny nod and he smiles, but she doesn’t miss the way his eyes gloss over in his own tears. He pulls her back against him to give her one last hug.

“Take care of him.” She whispers, just low enough for Nicholas to hear. He stills in her hold. “You always do anyways, but I feel like I just needed to say it.”

“I will. I promise.” He whispers, voice sounding strained, and it almost sends her over the edge.

They hold each other for a few more moments before she finally pulls away, dreading to turn around to Noah. She already knows he’s trying to hold it together for her, but with how he’s acted the last 24 hours, she can already guess how hard that’s becoming. Nicholas gives her one last smile before she turns to Noah, her heart immediately crumbling beneath her chest.

He looks… well, fucking miserable. Eyes rimmed red and glossy, but no tears have yet to fall. He’s trying so fucking hard, she knows, and Naomi doesn’t stop herself from rushing towards him. He lets out a whine the second her arms around wrapped around his waist, a pitiful sound, and she feels fresh new tears slip from her eyes.

Leaving Noah was always hard, even when they were just friends, but now it was different. They were together. After her conversation with Nicholas in the van, she went to Noah the next morning and they both finally decided what this was. Noah was hers and she was his and thinking about going back to Virginia and her tiny little apartment she once called home without him has her feeling like her chest is about to rip into a million fucking pieces.

“Can I just come with you?” She hears Noah say from above her, voice muffled from the way his face is buried in her hair. She laughs, sad and wet, and presses herself closer to him.

“They’d kick my ass if I stole their lead singer.” She eventually gets out, swallowing down the sob that wants to escape. She pulls back to look up at Noah and catches the moment a single tear slips from his eyes. She’s quick to reach up and wipe it away, hands cupping his face. “Only a few more weeks and then we’ll figure it out. Okay? I’ll come to you, you can come to me, whatever you want.”

Noah nods and he sucks in a shaky breath, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

She smiles up at him and leans up, lips brushing against his briefly. “I love you.”

An announcement over the airport speakers has them breaking from their moment, and Naomi pulls back to check her phone, seeing she had about 45 minutes until boarding starts.

“Text me when you get home.” Noah mumbles sadly, pulling her back against his chest. “Right when you land, right when you get to your car, right when you walk into your apartment…”

She laughs, a real one, and lets herself relax in his hold for a few more moments.

“Okay, dad.”

Noah rolls his eyes but laughs along with her anyways, and with one last kiss, she’s making her way towards the security line. They stay until she’s made it to the front, and she sends them a sad wave. She gets through TSA a lot quicker than she expected, which was a plus, and had enough time to get a few snacks and a drink to keep her satisfied on the plane.

The plane ride home wasn’t bad at all. She ended up eating her snacks and falling asleep halfway through, which was nice, because she had barely gotten any sleep the night before, but it was barely enough to satisfy her. She wakes up groggy and walks through the airport almost like a zombie, half asleep trying to find which way she needs to go. She forgets to text Noah when she lands, when she gets to her car, but doesn’t forget when she steps into her apartment. She fishes her phone out from her bag, thumbs dancing across the screen.

i’m home and am missing you already. facetime later? :(

Her thumb hovered over the screen, eyes staring down at her opened messages. Nicholas' name stares at her and without thinking she opens it, thumbs working over the screen.

wanted to let you know that i'm home❤️

Mimi isn't sure why she sent it and why she felt the need to even let him know because Noah would end up telling him, but her fingers move faster than her mind. She locks her phone and takes a deep breath, her eyes scanning over her apartment. Before this trip it had felt like home, and she made sure of it with all the clutter she's added to make it really feel like hers. Now, a deep ache is settling itself into her chest, these four walls feeling foreign to her.

She's starting to think that maybe home isn't a place, but a person.

Or maybe… people. 

…

Life went on how it had before, Naomi waking herself up every day to head off to work, maybe hang out with a few friends after she got off, and then settle herself onto her couch after a long day with one of her shows. Most nights she'd FaceTime with Noah, and sometimes with Nicholas when he would answer, and it was nice, but the ache in her chest grew each time they said goodbye.

Tonight was no different, her phone propped up in her hand as she curled up on the couch, Noah's name flashing across the screen. She smiled to herself before answering, waiting for the connection to kick in so she could see his face. It felt like she hadn't seen him in months, even though she had spoken to him the night before while getting ready for bed. 

"There she is."

Noah's voice instantly brings a smile to her face.

"Hi baby," She hums happily, shifting into a more comfortable position. "What's up?"

Naomi caught his eye through the screen, and he smiled, wide and bright, and leaned back against the couch he was sitting on, holding his phone up.

"Just chillin'." Noah says with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "We just finished setting up for tonight and now everyone's just... doing their own thing, I guess."

"Are you by yourself?" She can't help but frown.

"Nicky was here a second ago, but I have no idea where he went."

Just the mention of Nicholas has her chest feeling heavy, the thought of the boy plaguing her mind. It's not like she hasn't spoken to him since she's been home, actually FaceTimed him the other night when she couldn't sleep, and he just so happened to be awake. But it wasn't... like it normally was. Their conversations were short, Nicholas not saying much while Naomi told him about her day. Even his texts seem to be shorter. It feels almost as if he's pulling away from her, for what reason she's not sure. She thought whatever that was wrong with him the week she joined them on tour was over with, but it only seemed to get worse once she left.

"What's that face for?"

Noah's voice snaps her out of her thoughts, and she blinks at the screen, head tilting.

"What?"

"Your face." Noah squints at her through the screen, his own lips dipping into a frown. "You're pouting, and your foreheads doing that thing where you get lines when you think too hard."

"No, it's not." Naomi says, growing immensely defensive. She tries to relax her face, but Nicholas crosses her mind once again, and her frown returns.

"You're doing it again." Noah's tone softens. "What's up?"

“Is Nicky okay?” She blurts out after another moment of silence, worrying her bottom lip. 

Noah pauses. 

“What do you mean?”

Naomi shrugs, looking anywhere but the screen. “I don’t know, just.” Another pause. “He’s been a little weird with me recently.”

“Weird?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. We just don’t talk as often and when we do it’s… something’s off and I don't like it.”

Noah pauses again and she watches him chew on his bottom lip, brows furrowing. 

"Well, now that you mention it," Noah begins, shoulders deflating. "He has been acting a little weird. He..." His eyes shift to the side in thought. "It kinda seems like he's in his head a lot more recently? Like he's just... not here."

Naomi frowns once again. "Present but not present?"

Noah snaps his fingers, head nodding as his eyes focus back on his phone screen.

"Yes! Sometimes when I talk to him it's like he's not even there, but he's nodding along to whatever I say." It's Noah's turn to frown, and Naomi hates the way her heart drops, settling into her stomach with a heavy feeling. "You know, I didn't even realize it until you brought it up..."

His voice trails off, the sadness seeping through, and Naomi knows exactly what he's thinking.

"Don't feel bad." She's quick to add, head already shaking. "I didn't notice until a few days ago."

"But I do feel bad." Noah murmured. "He's my best friend, I'm supposed to know when he's going through something."

"Only if he tells you." Naomi says gently, the protective feeling she always gets when it came to Noah filling her veins. She squirms around on the couch to get comfortable again, fingers gripping her phone. "Nicky's a big boy, I'm sure he'll tell us what's wrong soon." 

"I guess..." His voice trails off again, unconvinced, and Naomi chews on her bottom lip again. 

She goes to say something else, not really sure what it could be, before Noah's head is snapping to the right, and she hears the door opening and muffled voices in the background - Jolly and Folio. No Nicholas. Her heart drops again, and she tries to swallow the lump in her throat that's been forming this entire phone call. 

"You hungry?" She hears Folio before she sees him. "Me and Jolly found a Denny's. Like a five-minute walk from here."

Noah's once sad demeanor changes in an instant at the mention of Denny's and she can't help but laugh, the worry slowly releasing itself from her body. She'll just tuck it in the back of her mind for now, bring it up again another time. Maybe she could even talk to Nicholas sometime this week and ask him what the fuck was up and finally put an end to whatever this was.

She just wanted her best friend back.

"Oh, fuck yes." Noah exhales happily before his gaze moves back to Mimi. "Do you know how long it's been since we had Denny's?"

"I'm guessing a while?"

"Too damn long." Folio's face finally comes into view, now sitting beside Noah on the couch. "Hey, Mimi. Is it okay if we steal your boy for dinner?"

"Hi, Nick. Of course, it's okay. I need to get up and eat, anyways."

"If you're awake, can I call you tonight?" Noah questions, staring at her with soft brown doe eyes. Mimi smiles.

"Sure. I'll turn on an alarm just in case I do fall asleep."

"Okay, cool. I'll text you." Noah smiles sweetly at the phone and her heart clenches beneath her chest, warmth spreading throughout her body. "Love you."

"Love you too." 

They exchange their goodbyes and Naomi lays against the couch for a moment, her phone laying on her chest. Her mind goes back to Nicholas and she wonders what he's doing. She reaches for her phone again and sorts through her messages, scrolling to find Nicholas' name. She frowns at the last conversation between the two of them, from a few days ago, and the one word replies from Nicholas staring back at her.

She sighs, thumbs sliding over the screen.

miss you and hope you're alright. talk soon? 

Not even thirty seconds later, the read receipt on her message appears and the texting bubble pops up. Her heart races as she waits, but a minute passes, and then another, and the bubble soon disappears, and her heart sinks.

…

A few days after her conversation with Noah, Naomi decided to call Nicholas. She waited a few days because they had back-to-back shows and didn't want to be annoying. It was just bothering her. What had she done? They were fine one day and then somehow the next they weren't. 

She's tried not to think too hard about it, but with how sad Noah had seemed upon his realization, she couldn't help it. Naomi has known Nicholas for over three years now. She knew him like the back of her goddamn hand, and she knew something was wrong. There's a reason why he was so distant, why he was pulling away. Not only from her but from Noah. 

The thought makes her sick, stomach twisting in a way that it's almost painful, and she has to swallow down whatever lump has decided to form in her throat. Naomi missed Nicholas - her Nicholas. The one she could talk to about whatever, the one she could call whenever, and he'd pick up. The one that didn't hide things from her. 

Naomi chewed on her thumb as she waited for her call to go through, hearing it ring three times before Nicholas picked up.

"Mimi?"

"Hi Nicky." She hummed softly. "Just checking in. Haven't heard from you in a few days."

"Oh, sorry. You know how it gets." He responds, almost sounding distracted. She frowns. "Everything's good, though. I'm sure Noah's told you."

"Well, yeah. He's told me." She grumbles. "But it would've been nice to hear from you every once in a while."

He pauses. "We literally talked like... four days ago."

"And it was a hi and bye at best." Naomi can't stop the sigh that slips from her. "We've barely spoken since I left. That's not like us, Nicky."

"I've been busy."

"Right. Yet Noah has enough time to talk to me… Hell, I’ve even heard from Jolly more than you.” She shifts in her seat, eyes narrowing at the wall ahead of her. “If there was something wrong, you’d tell me, right?”

“Of course.” His response comes quick, almost too quick, and Naomi nods to herself.

“Then why haven’t you told me there’s something obviously wrong?”

Nicholas is silent on the other end.

"Exactly.” Mimi spits out, annoyance already eating at her. "You've barely spoken to me. It's like I've done something to you and now you're avoiding me – you literally ignored my text the other day."

She doesn't hold back voicing her thoughts. She's never had to with Nicholas, he always being able to be someone she could always talk freely to, and even though they're in a weird spot she won't stop now. Another round of silence fills her ears, so quiet that all she can hear is Nicholas breathing on the other end. 

"Just..." Naomi sighs, bringing her free hand up to rub at her forehead. "If I did something to upset you then tell me, Nicky. I can't read your fucking mind. Especially when you're a hundred miles away."

"I'm not asking you to." His voice is sharp, and she can't help but flinch, even though she was just as sharp with him moments before. "I'm fine. Nothing happened. Tour is just a lot right now, promise."

"Remember when you said you could tell when I was lying?” He doesn’t respond. “Well, guess what? I can tell when you are too, Ruffilo."

"I'm not lying-"

"Nicholas." She cuts him off, an annoyed groan leaving her. "Can you please cut the bullshit? It's just the two of us. You can be honest and tell me what's got you so pissy."

"I'd rather not talk about it because it doesn't fucking matter, Naomi." Nicholas stops himself from continuing and he sighs. Mimi can already picture him running a frustrated hand through his hair and the image alone has something in her turning. "I know you didn’t call me just to argue so drop it, okay?”  

"No." She holds her ground, grinding her teeth together. "You're going to tell me what's wrong so we can fix this, alright?"

"Why are you so dead set on this?"

"Because you're my best friend!" She says exasperatedly, throwing her head back against the couch. "If there's something wrong, and something I may have caused, I would really like to fix it."

"Well, you can't." He laughs, and her stomach drops at how tired he sounds. Her lips dip into a frown. "I just need to suck it up and get over it."

It's Naomi's turn to be silent, chewing on her bottom lip as she racked her brain. Her mind goes back to the week she had spent on tour with the band and remembers the day Nicholas' whole demeanor changed one day, but she can't really pinpoint the exact reason why. He was fine one second and then not the next. 

What could have changed?

"I can literally hear your brain turning," Nicholas says softly. "I promise I'm fine, well, I'll be fine. I just need some time to sulk, think it over, and then I'll be good as new."

"I just wish I knew what was wrong so I could help." She mumbles, the sadness trickling through her voice. "I hate seeing you like this. I just want to take all that sadness away for you, Nicky."

He swallows. "I wish you could, too."

For some reason she feels nauseous. She hates that she can't help him when he needs someone, and she has to sit on the sidelines and watch while he suffers. Why can’t he just let her help?

"Can you at least let Noah know what’s going on? He's worried too."

"I know." A pause. "I'll talk to him."

"Thank you." She hums softly, and her gaze flicks towards the small clock she had on the wall. "I should probably go. It's late. You have a show tomorrow."

"That I do." He sounds tired and Mimi's chest twists with sadness.

"I'm sorry for being so upset." She quickly gets out before he could hang up. "I just... I care about you a lot."

"I know." Nicholas hums. "I care about you a lot, too. And Noah."

"We know."

Another moment of silence.

"Call me tomorrow?" Nicholas asks softly, hopeful. Naomi nods.

"Of course, as long as you answer.” She teases.

"Oh, fuck off.” There’s no malice behind his voice, and she can almost hear the smile in it. “Goodnight Mimi.”

"Goodnight Nicky."

That night as she laid in bed, trying to sleep, she did her best to ignore the heaviness in her heart as her mind drifted back to Nicholas.

...

The tension from her shoulders fell the second she stepped inside her apartment. A pleased noise escapes her, a sigh most likely, as she slipped her shoes off and left them by the door, padding her way through the apartment. It had been a long day filled with work at the new office, and an even longer night when her coworkers turned friends convinced her to go out with them. One drink turned into two, two drinks turned into three, and three drinks turned into her having to have someone drive her home.

Naomi didn't feel as drunk anymore, maybe a step above tipsy, and all she really wanted right now was to wash this makeup off and slip into something comfier. She'd been daydreaming about the oversized shirt in her closet on the ride home, almost being able to feel the soft fabric wrap itself around her body. She couldn't remember whose it was - maybe one she had bought, maybe one she stole from Noah, or maybe one she stole from Nicholas. Who knows, because she sure as hell doesn’t.

Her body falls into a routine the second she steps into her bathroom, comfy clothes on, and she pulls her curls up into a loose bun, diving straight into her skincare. She couldn't be bothered to do the whole step-by-step routine she liked to do, just a double cleanse to rinse the makeup and dirt from her face and then some moisturizer. 

Her phone ringing in her room has her pausing mid-cleanse, heart picking up from the surprise. 

"It's two in the fucking morning..." She grumbles to herself, rushing into her room to retrieve her phone.

Her heart rate slows down at the sight of Noah's name flashing across her screen, and she instantly relaxes. She forgot he had promised to call her after their show that night, but it might be later than usual. One of the headlining bands promised to take some of them out and treat them to some drinks. 

for being so fucking awesome🤘🏻, Noah had texted her earlier. 

She carefully picks the phone up and answers, immediately switching it to speaker phone.

"Hello?"

"Baby." 

Noah's voice fills her bathroom and the tone in which he used has a shiver running up her spine. She shakes it off, leaving it to the alcohol still coursing through her veins, and lays her phone down on the counter to finally wash off the cleanser still on her face.

"Hi, my love." She hums.

"What're you doing? You sound far away." There's a whine to his voice and she can't help but chuckle, smiling at herself through the mirror.

"You're on speaker phone, I'm taking my makeup off."

"Did you just get home?"

"Mhm." She bends over the sink, splashing water over her face before reaching for a washcloth, gently wiping her makeup off. "What're you doing? Did you guys end up going out?"

"Yeah." Noah hums in response. "I went out for a little bit, they're all still at the bar. I came back like five minutes ago."

She does another cleanse of her skin, just to make sure everything was completely off before dabbing a towel over her face. 

"Why'd you leave so early?"

"Missed you," Noah mumbled into the receiver, and she can hear the pout in his voice. She smiles to herself. "Wanted to hear your voice."

"Missed you too, sweetheart. How many more weeks of tour left?" She asks as if she didn't already know, counting down the damn days as they pass.

"Three weeks." He sounds relieved. "It's been incredible, but I miss my fucking bed. And you. I really fucking miss you."

Naomi laughs, a bit too loud for two in the morning, but she doesn't care. Hopefully her neighbors don't mind too much.

"These three weeks will fly by so quick, babe. I promise." 

Noah hums something in response but she doesn't quite catch it, only hearing the whine in his voice and the slight slur to his words. 

"What was that? I can’t hear you and your drunk rambling,” She teases with a laugh.

" ‘m not drunk. A little buzzed," She hears shifting on the other end and a shaky breath leaving Noah before he continues, "and maybe a little tired, but nothing too crazy. Are you drunk?"

"No. Just a little buzzed and tired like you."

"Can we switch to FaceTime? I wanna see you." There's a slight lilt to Noah's voice, a little more breathy than normal, and Naomi's skin prickles at the sound. 

"Of course, baby. Give me a second." She mumbles, quickly applying some moisturizer to her skin. 

She picks her phone up and presses the FaceTime option, watching her screen load. She props her phone up against the mirror in front of her and reaches for her toothbrush when she hears Noah let out a pleased sigh.

"Mimi." 

That breathy tone he used again has her pausing, fingers gripping around her brush as her eyes flickered back towards her phone.

“Oh.”

The look in Noah’s eyes has Mimi tensing, shoulders squaring as she stared at her phone screen. She knows that look – she’s seen it before, remembers it clearly. The way Noah stared down at her with his wide brown eyes, bottom lip pulled in between his teeth as he tried to hold in his noises in some empty venue hallway while her mouth moved along his cock, heavy and wet on her tongue. Her thighs press together at the memory.

"How long until they come back?" Is the first thing she asks, eyes narrowing at Noah through the screen. He pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"They won't be back for a few more hours."  

There's shifting on the other side of the screen, and she sees Noah's face scrunch up, eyes squeeze shut for a moment. His mouth parts, a shaky breath leaving him. Her thighs pressed together again and heat pools in her stomach at the realization of what he's doing. The only thing she could see on the screen was his face, but she knew that if it was angled just a bit lower... Naomi has to take a deep breath to calm herself.

"What do you need from me, baby?" She keeps her voice soft, light, and she lays her toothbrush down on the counter. Noah makes a noise, almost like something got caught in his throat.

"Talk to me." He breathes out, a slight whine in his voice. "Tell me what to do, I don't know. I just like hearing your voice."

She feels her cheeks flush at the compliment, and also at the fact that in intimate moments like this all Noah wants is to hear her. She smiles to herself before reaching for her phone and quickly making her way back to her bedroom, crawling onto her bed.

"What's got you so worked up, pretty boy?" She questions while getting comfortable, pulling her blankets over her body. She's thankful she likes to keep her room cool, because she knows her body will surely be heating up soon.

He keens at her words. "Couldn't stop thinking about you, or that picture you sent me the other day."

She flushes at the memory of the… risqué picture she had sent him earlier that week. She was adorned in one of his shirts he had gave her before she left the tour, a band shirt she had been stealing from him for years, and a pair a red lace underwear. The shirt was bunched up, barely covering her breasts, and really the only thing you could see were the lace – which was a favorite of Noah’s.  

Nothing too crazy, but it was just enough to drive Noah mad and that’s why she sent it.

“Yeah?” She breathes out, the heat in her tummy already swirling. “I knew you’d like it.”

Noah whines at that, and she sees the muscles in his arms tense as he moves again, and her mouth waters just at the thought his hand – long, tattooed fingers – wrapped around his aching cock. She squirms, wishing nothing more for it to be her hand, or even her mouth.

“I fucking loved it.”

“Can I see what you’re doing, baby?” She questions, keeping her voice as level as she could.

Noah nods as another whine slipped from his parted lips and she watched as he shifted on the bed, bringing his phone lower. She couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of his cock – red, swollen tip on full display. His chest rose and fell as he gave the base a firm squeeze. She could only see the bottom half of his face but watched as he licked at his lips before biting down on his bottom lip roughly. He’s already almost to the edge and trying to hold himself together, just for her. Her thighs press together again. They’re still learning each other and figuring out what works, but she was quick to find out that Noah loved when she was direct with him, telling him what to do. He’d listen, no questions asked. Noah was someone that typically liked to be in control of almost every aspect of his life, not usually leaving it in the hands of someone else, and the fact he trusted her enough to do this made warmth spread throughout her chest.

“Oh, you poor thing… It looks like you don’t even need my help at all, baby.” She teases, lips tugging into a smirk. “How long have you been like this?”

“Since this morning.” He gasps out, squeezing his cock with every stroke. “I just – oh, fuck. I really couldn’t stop thinking about you. I fucking,” Noah whimpers, hips rolling into his fist. “I fucking can’t wait to touch you again.”

Naomi’s eyes flutter shut at his words, biting down on her bottom lip to try and keep her own noises at bay. She’s not even touching herself and yet his words have her going crazy already, warmth pooling into the pit of her stomach, and she knows there’s a wet patch in her underwear now. She squirms.

“God, I can’t wait.” She breathes out, eyes opening to stare at Noah. “Is that what you want? To touch me?”

“Yes.” He whimpers. “So bad.”

“You can soon enough, baby, just not right now.”

He whines at her words, and he tilts his phone up to where his full face is shown, and she tries her hardest to not gasp at the fucked-out expression on his face. He opens his mouth to speak, probably to say something about touching her, she just knows it, but she shushes him before he could even utter a word. His mouth clamps shut immediately.

“Soon.”

He nods, another whine ripping from deep in his chest and she watches his glossed over eyes focus on her, brows furrowing.

"Is... is that Nicky's shirt?" He pants out, staring at the screen with blown out eyes. Naomi freezes before quickly glancing down at her shirt and then back at the screen.

"Yeah. I think so." 

Something inside of her stirs, the admission raising some kind of panic in her, but Noah doesn't look angry. No, he looks far from angry. The flush in his cheeks deepens and her shoulders relax, releasing the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. He liked it – a lot.

"...You look really good in it."

His hand speeds up, working himself closer to the edge and the small, barely there gasping moans he’s letting out has Naomi’s thighs pressing together, cunt clenching around nothing. She wanted nothing more than to slide her hands down her sleep shorts, press against her aching clit and rub one out, but she stayed still. Her focus was solely on Noah and Noah alone, she’ll help herself out later.

“Thank you.” She hums out, her own cheeks slightly flushed. “You close, sweetheart?”

He nods before his head lolls to the side, another moan ripping out from him, from deep within his chest. She watches as his hips roll and stutter in his hand, chest rising and falling. It doesn’t take long until he’s choking out her name, followed by a high-pitched moan, spilling all over his hand and stomach. Naomi bites her lip to once again keep her own noises down, fingers twitching because she could easily slip two fingers into herself now with how wet she was, but she doesn’t. Instead, she waits for Noah to come down, the rise and fall of his chest slowing down. He blinks when he brings the phone back up to his face, eyes glossed over and her chest twists because she’d do anything to be there right now, but the best she could do is give him a gentle smile.

“Hi, baby.” The corners of his lips quirk up and her smile only grows. “You did so good, my love.”

Noah makes a noise, almost like a whine, and his eyes flutter shut. “Yeah?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She rolls onto her back now, ignoring the wetness in her sleep shorts. “You’ll need to get up and clean yourself up, okay?”

Noah groans in response and it takes her a few more minutes of convincing him before he’s pushing himself up and off the bed, going to the bathroom to clean himself off. He takes the phone with him and she knows it’s only to know she’s still there while he’s getting ready for bed, because he doesn’t even say a word. He usually didn’t after he’s came down, brain fuzzy and tired, and the ache in Naomi’s chest on tightens even more.

She misses him so, so much.

Her own eyes are fluttering by the time he makes it back it back to bed, snuggling deep into his pillows. She does the same, curling her blanket close to her as she brought her phone closer to her face, seeing Noah’s eyes barely open.

“You should sleep.” She whispers, a yawn following her words.

“Will you stay on here with me?” He asks quietly, peaking one eye open at the phone before letting it slip shut again. “Until I fall asleep.”

“Baby, I’m not that far behind you. I’m one second away from falling asleep with this damn phone in my hand.”

Huffing out a sleepy laugh, he opens both eyes finally, “That’s fine. Just stay on here. It’ll be like I fell asleep next to you.”

She doesn’t stop the slight dip of her lips at his words, heart dropping to her stomach. Sure, the illusion is there, but Noah isn’t. Absentmindedly she stretches her hand out, fingers running over empty sheets.

“I miss you.”

Noah notices the frown, his own lips pursing into a pout. “I miss you, too. I’ll be home soon.”

“I know,” She mumbles, trying to swallow down the lump that’s found its way in her throat. “Just… miss you a lot.”

Noah doesn’t say anything, just gives her another pout before his eyes fall shut again. Silence washes over them and that stupid lump is still lodged somewhere deep in her throat, but she tries to will it away, settling her phone against the pillow beside her and shutting her eyes.

The last thing she remembers before falling asleep is Noah’s gentle voice whispering, “I love you.”

…

"What the fuck are you guys doing?"

Naomi can't help but laugh as both Noah and Nicholas give her a goofy grin from the other side of the screen. She can see Jolly in the back who just rolls his eyes, but his lips are curled so she knows he's not that annoyed by their antics. 

"We missed you." Noah says, laying his cheek against his arm. He's stretched out on his shared bed with Nicholas, laying on his front, and resting his phone on the pillows.

They're in some bum-fuck state in the middle of nowhere, Naomi can't be bothered to really remember where. They had a day off tomorrow, she remembers from a text Noah sent her earlier that morning, and she suspects they went out after the show and had only a few drinks with the other bands. At least, that's what Nicholas told her about an hour ago. She suspects Jolly may have had only a few, but with the Folio is knocked the fuck out on the other bed, and the dopey grins on both Nicholas and Noah's faces, she's gonna say they had more than a few.

"Yeah?" She hums, snuggling into her blanket. Nicholas nods, climbing his way on top of Noah.

The younger boy doesn't even budge as Nicholas practically clings to his back, his chin resting on Noah's shoulder.

"Of course." Nicholas' bottom lip juts out. "We always miss you."

She can't help but flush at that, her skin heating up at Nicholas' words. We always miss you. Such a simple statement has her tummy doing flips, and it should be concerning due to the fact it wasn't her boyfriend who said that. It was her best friend, and she should unpack that, but she won't. At least not now. 

"Cute." She mumbles, bringing her blanket up to hide her burning cheeks. "I always miss you guys, too. It's lonely without y'all here."

"One more week!" Noah exclaims and it's followed by a yelp, a pillow flying at him from the side of the screen.

"Shut the fuck up." She doesn't miss the groggy and very grumpy tone of Folio, and she covers her mouth to stifle her laughter when both Noah and Nicholas look at the screen with wide eyes.

"Sorry," Noah sheepishly says, grunting when he tries to scoot closer to the phone but Nicholas on top of him makes it hard, so he opts for grabbing it instead and whispering, "One more week. I can't wait to see you."

Even in his drunken state she can hear the sincerity in his tone, and her heart swells beneath her chest. One more week and she'll be with her boy again. She's been antsy for the last few days, knowing that soon enough Noah will be with her. He's staying for a week before he has to fly back out to Los Angeles, their upcoming debut album drop date slowly approaching. She hasn't told him yet, but there might be a plane ticket that's sitting in her mailbox that's departing from RIC to LAX during the second week of August. 

She'll sit on that for a few more weeks before surprising him with it. 

"I can't wait to see you too, baby." Her gaze softens at the smile Noah gives her and her eyes move from him to Nicholas. "And you, too. You're staying a few weeks, right?"

Nicholas nods, shifting a bit on top of Noah which causes the boy under him to groan. "Mhm. A few old clients hit me up, so I'm gonna be home for a while."

Home. Just the words falling from his lips has her grinning from ear to ear, chest fluttering with some sort of feeling that she can't explain, and her tummy doing those stupid flips again. Seriously, she should unpack whatever she keeps feeling whenever Nicholas looks at her, whenever he mentions coming home because she knows that it means he's coming back to her. She just missed him a lot, right? She just missed the comfort of not having both of her boys with her, always having one of them at her side. That's all this was. She had just grown used to the feeling of her best friend always being a call away, and since this is his first time back home in months, she's just excited. Right? That's all this is.

The growing pit in her stomach says otherwise, but she can't even dwell on the thought before she's speaking again.

"Think you got time to give me another tattoo? I've been itching for another one."

The words fall from her lips without much of a second thought and the look Nicholas gives her through the screen has her breath hitching. She had gotten a few other tattoos after the one Nicholas gave her, but the peonies on her thigh was the only one he did himself. Memories of that night in the shop fill her mind, and she knows Nicholas is thinking about it too, and she squirms against her bed.

"Of course," He clears his throat, as if he was shaking himself out of whatever trance he was just in before giving her a smile that doesn't quite meet his eyes. "I always have time for you."

She blushes.

"We should all get matching tattoos." Noah says suddenly, snapping both her and Nicholas out of whatever trance they were in. "When we get home."

"You wanna get matching tattoos?" She questions and Noah nods.

"Well, yeah." Noah shrugs - or well, tries to, because Nicholas is still draped over his back - and gives her a smile. "We all got matching band tattoos a few weeks ago, so it makes sense that we would get one, too."

Naomi feels warm all over, Noah's words making something clench beneath her chest. It shouldn't be too surprising, her and Noah are dating, and all three of them have been friends for so long. It was always the three of them, their tiny trio. 

"I'd like to get something to remember the two most important people in my life." Noah continues after a few beats of silence.

Nicholas hums. "I think we should. We could get Vince to do them for us." 

"See! We are so doing this when we get home."

"What would we even get?" Naomi asks, laughing quietly at her boyfriend's excitement.

"Now might be the wrong time to ask us that, Mimi." Nicholas mumbles, leaning his head against Noah's. "Asking two drunk people what they should get tattooed is just asking for trouble."

"What do you mean? My best ideas come to me when I'm drunk." Noah jokes, his laughter mixing with Nicholas'.

"Yeah... I'm sure they do.”

Both her and Nicholas are smiling, and she notices how fond the boy looks, eyes dropping to Noah before flicking to the screen to look at her. Her breath hitches the second their eyes meet but Nicholas' smile only widens, eyes crinkling at the ends. She clears her throat, gaze moving back towards Noah.

"We'll figure it out when y'all get home, okay?"

Both boys nod, agreeing with her that they should think on it and agree whenever they come back to Richmond. Mimi reaches up to cover her mouth with her hand, stifling the yawn that's been threatening to escape for the last few minutes.

"What time is it there?" Noah asks softly. He yawns just seconds later, and Nicholas laughs above him.

"Around 1." She mumbles, snuggling further into her bed. They were about an hour or two behind her, she thinks, maybe more.

"You should go to bed." Nicholas says to her. "We didn't mean to keep you up."

"Oh, hush." She huffs out a quiet laugh. "You didn't keep me up, I wanted to talk to you guys. I miss you."

Both boys flush at her words, sheepish grins tugging at her lips and she has to stop herself from cooing. 

"We miss you so much." Noah hums, trying to keep his voice low. Nicholas nods at his words, head knocking against Noah's. "And we can't wait to see you. One more week."

"One more week." She says back, lips curling. 

"Text me when you wake up?" Noah asks while Nicholas slowly rolls off of him, instead snuggling next to him. He throws an arm over Noah's back and Naomi doesn't miss the way Noah sinks into the feeling of Nicholas pressed against him.

"I always do, babe."

"I know," He whines, pouting at her through the screen. "Just felt like I should ask."

"You shouldn't have to ask." She hums, giving Noah a gentle smile. "I'll text you first thing in the morning, okay?"

Noah nods, cheeks stained red, and her gentle smile only widens as a comfortable silence falls over them. Naomi stifles yet another yawn, eyes fluttering closed, and when she opens them both Noah and Nicholas are already staring at her, softness swirling around their eyes. She brings the blanket up to hide part of her face.

"We love you." Noah murmurs, voice soft and quiet, like he only wanted her and Nicholas to hear.

Something shifts the exact moment her eyes met Nicholas' across the screen, her breath hitching.

She knew there was still something there for Nicholas, something that she pushed so far deep inside of her that she thought she could ignore. It's starting to surface again, her throat tightening up as if it's going to come up that way, and she swallows it down as Nicholas kept his gaze on her through the screen. Even in his drunken haze there's still a softness in his eyes that she knows is just for her... and Noah. He gives her a smile, a dopey one similar to Noah's, and then he's looking back down at the boy. His expression doesn't change, and she has to take a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart, biting down on her lip to try and stop it from trembling.

"I love you," She manages to get out, saying it to no one in particular. Her eyes moved from Nicholas' back to Noah's, and she somehow was able to muster up a smile. "So much. I can't wait for you guys to come home."

They both smile, wide and bright and so fucking beautiful, Naomi feels like she can't breathe. it was starting to become overwhelming, this feeling itching farther and farther up into her chest and almost like she was being suffocated. They eventually say their goodbyes, and she even manages to say goodbye to Jolly, who she's forgotten was even there, hair wet from the shower he must've taken while her, Noah, and Nicholas fucked around on FaceTime.

"Goodnight Mimi." He smiles as Noah turns the camera towards him. "I'll make sure your boys are alright."

Your boys. She clears her throat, giving him a tight-lipped smile that he notices almost right away, brows furrowing. 

"You always take care of them for me. Thanks Jolly."

A few more goodbyes from Nicholas and Noah, who seem to not want to let her go yet before Jolly has to physically take the phone away from them and end the call himself, Naomi is met with silence. She lets her phone fall to lay beside her as she rolls over on her back, eyes glued to the ceiling.

That feeling she felt earlier? The one she couldn't explain? The same one she got whenever she looked at both Noah and Nicholas? It's clear as day to her now, slowly inching its way through her. It's in her bloodstream, flowing throughout her body. She can feel it in her toes, to the tips of her fingers, all the way to the top of her fucking head. 

There's no doubt in her mind she loves Noah - she has always loved him. From the second they met she knew it was him. But there was no denying the feelings that she had for Nicholas. They were always there too, and maybe in the beginning it wasn't as intense, but now... Now it feels like there's a ten-ton brick weighing on her chest because she knows that it's serious. 

Naomi was in love with Nicholas Ruffilo, and maybe she always had been, and it scared the absolute shit out of her.

[bakudeku4444]

*none of the art in this post is mine. All love goes to the artists who created them. I'm not sure who the artists are.*

🔞 NO MINORS! MINORS DNI!

CHEATING.

Kiba x F!reader

Kakashi x F!reader

Warnings: cheating, jealousy, angst, smut, lactation kink, labor.

Word count: 6.3k

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You were surprised when you opened the door to find the 6th hokage at your doorstep. He was here to inform you that your husband will be on his mission for a couple extra days. Which was a weird lie, and you could tell he was lying. Nonetheless, you invited him in for wine and to talk about why he would be gone for a few extra days. 

He claimed that Kiba and Akamaru were having a hard time tracking the scent of Orochimaru. You raised a brow at this. That just wasn't possible. They both had an impeccable sense of smell. You didn't understand what the point was of this visit and the lies. 

Next thing you knew, he kissed you with such need that it made you dizzy. He pushed you down against the floor. He caged you in with his arms. You moaned into the kiss, only slightly pushing away. 

You had been lonely since Kiba had been going on a lot of missions lately. He was hardly home. Kakashi was stripping you down in seconds. His hands were everywhere. He picked you up as if you weighed nothing. 

"Where's the bed?" He asked as he kissed your neck. 

You pointed, and he walked towards it. He laid you down on the bed and stripped out his own clothes. He kissed your nipples and down your body. He started lapping at you pussy, until you were wet enough to take him. 

"Ah!~ Kashi! Please! I can't take it!~" You cry out as your moans escape from your lips. 

  "You tell no one. I just... I need this. I've been watching you. I hate seeing you with him. I've been wanting you for a year. I want to feel what he gets to feel. You know why I've been sending him out so much. It's because I have been waiting for you to be so needy that you won't fight me." He says as he lines himself up with your dripping wet hole. 

He pushes into you with a long moan and stuttering breath. Your pussy clenching around him as he bottoms out. He knew you two hadn't had a chance to fuck. The most Kiba had time for was to come home, shower, and sleep a couple hours because he was sent out on another mission as soon as Kakashi could come up with one. 

Your moans were falling from your lips like a symphony to Kakashi's ears as he snapped his hips into your sweet tight pussy. You felt like you were untouched because of how long it had been since you and Kiba last had sex. 

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Kiba was back in the village earlier than expected. His feet were dragging. Akamaru was exhausted. They both just wanted to sleep. He didn't even have the energy to shower. He walked towards you and his home without even lifting his head to greet anyone. His body was aching; he had bruises and new cuts covering his arms and a couple on his face.

All he could think about was being in bed with you, inhaling your scent, and relaxing until the next mission since Kakashi was always coming up with new ones fast. He thought he was only being sent out because he was recognized as good as what he did. 

As he got within 50 feet of his home. He could smell you. Your arousal. It was so strong, he had only smelt it that strong when the two of you were fucking. Then, he got a bit closer and smelt male sweat. He growled. He was pissed, heartbroken. His nose never failed him. He knew you were cheating before he even opened the door. 

Your moans were so loud he heard them through the front door. He also heard grunts of a male. He walked into the house, and straight to the room with claws out, ready to kill the man fucking his wife. When he saw the man on top of you with a mask down around his throat he was shocked. He ran towards him, and was about to throw him to the ground but was thrown back. 

Kakashi wasn't letting anything or anyone stop him from having you the way he has always wanted. When you saw Kiba you froze at first before you started pushing Kakashi away. 

"Tsk tsk. No, no, sweetheart. You were so willing until your mutt showed up." His hips were relentless as he grunted and moaned in your ear. You weren't strong enough to throw him off of you. 

Kakashi was sucking and biting your neck. He started rubbing your clit. He knew you were close, and so was he. You tried to hold in your orgasm you really did, but you couldn't. Your back arches, a loud moan escaped you, your eyes rolled back, and you squirted. 

"Oh fuck yeah baby.. that's it, baby... cum all over my cock~... show your mutt how good I'm making you feel!... ah!~ fuck! Cuuuuumming!" He says it loud and a bit dramatic. He wanted to hurt Kiba. He wanted him to leave you. 

You started crying as she was coming down from your high. "No! No! No! Not inside! I don't want this! You! You manipulated me! You knew he was coming home, didn't you!" 

"You were willing. You invited me in for wine. You pointed to the room when I asked where it was. You didn't say no until now. You were begging while I was eating that sweet pussy. You ... ah! Haaaahhhh ahh! Fuu-uckkk!~" He was cut off as he at the very least pulled out, and came all over your stomach. 

Kiba was standing there, jaw clenched, claws digging into the flesh of his palms. He couldn't kill the hokage no matter how badly he wanted to. He couldn't believe you squirted for Kakashi. He hated everything about this. He hated that he felt like he was frozen in one spot. He watched as kakashi came on your stomach. He watched as he put his clothes back on and left with a smirk.

He watched as you used tissues from the nightstand to clean the cum off. He watched as you covered up to your ears with a blanket trying to cover up the evidence of Kakashi's  marks even though Kiba was standing there watching it happen. He watched as you couldn't even look him in the eyes. 

He finally spoke after staring at you like he was disgusted with you. "I want a divorce. I don't want anything to do with you. I want you out of my house. I don't care where you end up. I loved you, and I come home to you fucking Kakashi! Kakashi of all people! The fucking rrrrrrrah!" 

He turned around, punching a hole in the wall, making you jump. "You know you're pregnant, right? I know it. I can smell the change in your hormones. You're a month and a half." He chuckled darkly. "The thing is... at this point I don't even know if it's fucking mine! How many other men have you fucked on our bed while I've been out on missions?" 

You were shocked to find out you were pregnant, but you knew you needed to say something to save your marriage.  "I.. I... I didn't... I don't.. Please, Kiba, listen to me. I've never cheated on you... this... this... He manipulated me! I didn't mean to. He was doing this on purpose! He said he was sending you out on missions as much as he could just to get to me." You tried to explain. You didn't want Kiba to leave you. You didn't want a divorce. You and Kiba had been inseparable since you were little kids. You didn't know what to do without him. 

"Oh? it was just really convenient for him to come over, and fuck you the same day that I'm coming home! Fuck! I can't even look at you right now. I'm not sleeping here. I want you out by the time I come back tomorrow." With that he walked out slamming the door so hard it caused a crack down the middle of it. 

You curled up in a ball, staring at the door with tears streaming down your cheeks as you hoped Kiba would come back... You wish this was all a nightmare. You wish you wouldn't have invited Kakashi in for wine. You didn't think anything of it at first. You thought it was the polite thing to do, to invite the hokage. You didn't know his intentions... You didn't exactly put up a fight to stop him either...

You sobbed until you passed out. You woke up in the morning and didn't leave. 

He walked the streets until he ended up at Shino's house. Shino let him sleep on the couch. Kiba didn't say anything about what happened. He didn't want anyone to know. 

He was numb, and he hardly talked. He just tried to act like nothing was wrong, even though every time he closed his eyes, he saw you falling apart under Kakashi instead of him. He didn't really sleep. He woke up crying by 4 am. Then, he was at a shushu-ya open. He was downing sake like it was water. He wanted so badly to get the image out of his head. 

He stumbled home at about 8. He could smell that you were still there. He stumbled through the door to see three of you on the couch. He couldn't tell which one was actually you or the blur of his drunkenness. "Oh, look! It's my whore wife! Kakashi here again? Should I leave you two to fuck on my fucking couch?!" 

He stumbled towards the kitchen and fell. He crawled towards the fridge, pulling out a bottle of sake. He started chugging it. "Didn't I fuckin tell you to get out of my house?! D-d-did you thunk I'd change my fuckin mind?" 

"Kiba... you're drunk... let me help you to the bed." You start walking towards him, but Akamaru pulls you back lightly with his mouth on your hand. You look down at him with sad eyes. He had never done that before. You knew it was better to listen to Akamaru, but you wanted to fix this. 

"Bed!? You mean the one you cheated on me in! Your on fucking drugs or something aren't you?!" He drank more of the sake. 

"Ok, ok... I shouldn't have suggested the bed. We can get a new bed. Let me help you to the couch... please Kiba..  I don't want our marriage to go in the garbage because of my mistake... I love you, Kiba... I'm sorry..." You started crying as you pulled your hand out of Akamaru's mouth. You walked towards your husband on the floor. 

You reached your hand out to help him up, but he swatted it away. "Don't fuckin touch me!" 

You sit down on the floor in front of him. "Kiba... please don't do this. I know I fucked up, but at least let me help you..."

Kiba chugged the bottle. "I don't need you. I don't need your help. I can do it, my Goddamn self. Leave." 

"Kib..."

He cut you off. "I SAID... GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT! get the fuck out..." He started sobbing. Akamaru came and laid over his legs protectively, growling at you. 

You started crying, too, but you forced yourself to get up and walk away. You didn't leave, though. You went to the room and stripped the bed. You put all the bed sheets and blankets in a garbage bag. You pulled out fresh ones. You spray the bed and remake it. 

You cleaned the room and reorganized. You went to the bathroom with his laundry and started washing them in the bathtub. You tried to just do as you normally would and more. You refused to leave. 

You knew you fucked up, but you loved Kiba more than anything. You went to the kitchen after a couple of hours when you were done. You saw Kiba passed out on the floor with Akamaru laying on top of him. 

"Akamaru... can you take him to the bed?" You tilted your head. You knew he understood you. You have been around Kiba since before Akamaru came into his life. You both could communicate with him.

He growled but did what you said. You helped pull Kiba onto his back, and he took him to the room, carefully hopping on the bed with him on his back. 

You started preparing to cook. You made all of Kiba's favorite foods. Things he couldn't resist. She made the special food for Akamaru that Kiba taught her how to make.

Akamaru smelt it and couldn't resist. He left a sleeping Kiba to go see what you were doing. He walked out suspicious of what you were up to. He was stressed by how tense the house felt, by not being at home last night, by everything that was happening. You look over and smile at Akamaru. 

"Hungry?" You ask as you mix the food. You walk over, placing it on the floor in front of him. "It's your favorite... I'm sorry for everything. I love you.. you're such a good boy." You scratch the behind of his ear and kiss the top of his head. 

You get back to making food, waiting for Kiba's clothes to dry. You mop and sweep the floor after Akamaru gets done eating and goes back in the room with Kiba. 

After everything looks spotless, you sit down and write him a 10 page front and back apology letter. You explain how much you love him. You mention precious memories that make you happy when you are sad. You tell him that you have never cheated on him before. You tell him the baby is his. You swear there's no way it couldn't be his. You tell him everything you love about him. You beg for forgiveness. Tear drops staining the pages.

Even after your hand had long since given out. You still didn't think it was enough. You thought he would never forgive you. You just hoped that after he sobered up that you could have a conversation with him without him yelling at you to leave. 

You curled up in his hoodie on the couch. You cried more. You couldn't stop crying. You cried so much it made you nauseous. You got up and ran to the bathroom. That was what woke Kiba up after sleeping for 6 hours. 

He heard you puking. His instinct was to check on you, hold your hair back for you, but he was irritated that you hadn't left yet. He then smelt the food you had made. He walked right past the bathroom that you were puking into the kitchen. 

He opened the containers, taking a bite from one of the foods you made. He knew what you were trying to do... apologize. He just couldn't. He couldn't get the image out of his head. The whole time he slept, he saw you under Kakashi. He dreamt of killing him. 

He noticed how clean everything was. After he warmed up his food, he noticed the thick letter on the table. He didn't want to open it. He didn't want to listen or read what you had to say. 

You came out after brushing your teeth and washing your face. You had your hands holding onto the inside of his long sleeves because his hoodie was big on you. You look at him eating the food you made. Your heart pounds in your chest. You didn't know what to do or say. You walked into the kitchen with your head down. You poured him a glass of water and brought him some pain killers cause you were sure he had a hangover. 

You set them down beside him. "It.. it should help with the headache you get every time you drink. If it helps, I.. i.. didn't put you to bed. I asked A-a-akamaru to. I-i-i also changed everything on the bed before he put you in it... I just didn't want you sleeping on the floor..." 

He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at you. He took the pills and drank the water. He continues eating. 

You nod slightly, knowing he's not going to respond. You take a clothes basket and go outside. You pull his clothes down from the clips and go back inside with your head down. You fold his clothes and put them away. 

Kiba picks up the letter while you're folding the clothes in the bedroom. He reads it, and let's silent tears drop. He doesn't actually want a divorce. He feels like the baby is his. He knows he's been gone a lot. He believed you when you wrote that that was the only time you cheated. He never had any suspicions before, and surely he would've smelt it on you or in the house if you did. 

He finishes the food and reads the letter. He walks into the room as you're putting the clothes away and grabs you from behind. You freeze at first, but then start crying.

You tremble in his arms. "P-please, Kiba. Don't make me leave. I-I love you... I don't know what to do without you. Y-you're my best friend. Love of my life. I know I made a mistake... just... just let me make it up to you. You don't have to forgive me... just please don't leave me." You sob. 

His hand goes to your stomach. He turns you around and lifts your head with his fingertip under your chin. He looks deep into your red, puffy, teary eyes. "I'm not gonna make you leave." He presses his head to yours. "It's just going to take me a while to get over this, ok?" 

You nod and sniffle. 

"I wanted to kill him... hell... I wanted to hurt you. You don't understand how crazed I felt. Think about it, y/n... if you were going on constant missions... you thought you could come home to cuddle with me and get some rest, but you find me with another woman in our bed. What would you do?.." He had tears streaming down his cheeks. 

You didn't know what you would do. You knew you would be beyond broken, crushed. You probably would've wanted him to leave, too. You probably would've wanted to hurt them. "I-I would've been acting the same as you... maybe worse..." 

"Yeah, exactly. I'll tell you what... let's take this slow. I'm not ready to be around you. Or in this room. I don't think I can sleep in this room ever again... we need to start over, ok?" Kiba sniffles. 

You nodded in agreement. He kissed your forehead and was about to walk away, but Akamaru had other ideas. He stood behind him and nudged Kiba back towards you. 

He rolled his eyes at Akamaru's meddling to push you two together, but Kiba knew he didn't like you two fighting. Kiba kissed you softly. You kissed him back. He felt like it was one tiny step in the right direction. 

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7 and half months later...

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Kiba bought a new house. It was as far away from the hokage as possible. He still went on missions, but he didn't want his pregnant wife anywhere near that son of a bitch. He refused to do constant missions. Kakashi allowed it because Kiba threatened to tell everyone what he did. 

Kiba was home a lot more. He went to every appointment. He tried to be there for everything. This was his child growing inside you. He wasn't just going to leave. 

Kiba laid on the couch with you next to him. He laid his head on your stomach as the baby kicked and made his head bounce. He wouldn't let you get up unless you absolutely needed something. The feeling of the baby kicking him lulled him to sleep. 

You, on the other hand, had been on punishment, basically. You haven't gotten any sex. You were purposely interrupted from touching yourself every single time. He or Akamaru would go in the room and ignore what you were trying to do. Instead, they would just bug you until you gave up trying to get off. 

You could barely take it anymore. Even having him this close to you was making you wet, and he could smell it as he was starting to wake up. You tried to reach down and touch yourself, but his hand grabbed your wrist so fast that you barely made it an inch towards your aching cunt. 

"P-please, I can't... I can't take it anymore." You stuttered as you wanted to cry. You were 8 months along and suffering. Not only were you pregnant, exhausted, feet swollen, unable to roll in bed without Kiba's help, everything was a chore. On top of being horny as fuck most of the time. It was ten times worse when Kiba was home, which was a lot more than before. "I... I need you, or if you don't want to at least let me do it myself. P-please, Kiba." You whined. 

"Tsk tsk... you know I really want to punish you longer, y/n... but also deep down, I feel like I'm torturing myself... just the smell of your arousal is making me so fucking hard right now." He said in a low growl. 

His hard on was pressed against your leg. He started shallow thrusts against your leg. He was fast to get mad because it wasn't enough. He wanted to be inside you. He hadn't been inside you in 7 months, and it was driving him mad. 

He picked you up and ran to your new bedroom with a bigger bed. He laid you down on it, ripping your clothes off you. He hit his lip. "Fuuuuck, I'm gonna get you pregnant again after you have this one.~ pregnancy looks so fucking hot on you..." He cups his hand on your sore breasts. "I mean fuckin look at these! They are so swollen, and full of milk... I wanna taste..~" He latches on to your nipple, sucking hard. He was surprised when your milk sprayed into his mouth, and let out a low moan.It was so sweet he couldn't get enough. He wanted to fuck you while he drank from you. 

You watched as milk dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. You bit your lip moaning. He pulled his pants off and ripped his shirt off down the middle because he didn't want to stop sucking on your addictive milk. 

He started fingering you while he sucked. He found all your sweet spots just like before. He stuck a pinky in your ass and curled his two middle fingers up just right to hit your g-spot. His thumb massages circles on your clit. You immediately were moaning uncontrollably because of the amount of pleasure you were getting after months of punishment. 

He had you cumming in a matter of 4 minutes. He knew your body inside and out. That made him smirk against your breast. 'Kakashi didnt know jackshit about what you liked. That bitch boy just wanted to fuck you.' He thought to himself. 

He wasted no time lining his throbbing cock up with your entrance, and slamming into you as he switched breasts. He moaned and growled as he snapped his hips into yours. All that could be heard were your moans and the wet squelching and slapping of your wet pussy and his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. 

He was in heaven right now, milk dripping down his chin while balls deep in your pussy. He couldn't think of anything better. 

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After hours of him fucking you in different positions, making you cum over and over again. You were so full of his cum it was becoming a puddle of your's and his cum mixed on the bed beneath you. 

This round felt different, though. It started with a small ach that you just chopped up to how much sex you guys have been having, mixed with how far along you were and the lack of sex before this point. You ignored the pain until it became more intense. You were both about to cum. 

He could sense something was wrong as he emptied his cum inside you again. He was about to ask what was wrong until there was a gush down his balls and legs from you. It didn't smell like when you came, and he immediately pulled out of you, started panicking. It was 4am. He was exhausted, and so were you. 

There was a long cramp that lasted about a minute. They were 5 minutes apart. You gripped his arms so hard that your nails made him bleed. "Kiba! Something is wrong!" You cried. 

"Shhh! Sh! Sh! Baby, breath! I think your water just broke." He ran to get sweats on and pulled an oversized nightgown on you. "I got you. I got you, baby." He cooed as you cried in pain. He didn't know what to do. You guys lived quite far from the village hospital. He didn't think he could get you there in time. 

"AKAMARU!" Kiba yelled, and Akamaru immediately busted down the door. "Go find someone to help! Anyone! Bring them here!" Akamaru was gone in under a sec, searching for anyone nearby at 4 am. He found someone and barked at them. He was frantic. The person was a bit confused as to why Akamaru approached them, but it seemed urgent. So, they followed him back to yours and Kiba's home. 

You were already pushing at this point. Kiba was trying his best to comfort you. He had a cold towel over your forehead, a towel underneath you. He had a suction bulb on the bed along with scissors to cut the cord. He had never seen someone give birth; he only knew some things from a book he skimmed through to be prepared for what to expect when you go into labor. 

He was panicking as he was on his knees between your legs, trying to hold them open. "KIBA! I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! I FEEL LIKE IM BEING RIPPED APART! AAAAAAHHHHHH! FUCK!" You screamed as you pushed through another contraction. You couldn't see as your vision was blurred by tears. You saw a tall figure walk into the room.

"Baby, shhh... you gotta focus on your breathing. Breath me. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to get through this..." His head turned to see who Akamaru brought and was immediately pissed the fuck off. "No! Fuck no! You are not going anywhere near my wife or her pussy again." 

"I don't think you have a choice. I've delivered a baby twice, and you have no idea what you're doing. If you wanna do this by yourself, and risk losing your child and your wife... then be my guest, but I highly doubt you want that. You don't have anyone else with experience to help you. So, the choice is yours, Kiba." Kakashi was smug about this. He knew that Kiba had no choice but to let Kakashi help him deliver his baby. 

Kiba didn't have a lot of time to think about it as you started screaming at the top of your lungs when another contraction hit you. "Fine! Fuck! Just. Just tell me what to do!" Kiba growled at Kakashi. 

"First, would you rather help pull him or her out, or would you like to cut the cord? You can't do both. I'm not handing an idiot like you a pair of scissors while you're holding a baby. Also, you can't hold her legs open and be ready to pull and catch your baby. I am going to have to touch her in some way whether you like it or not." Kakashi stood beside Kiba. He could see that you were crowning or what some women call the ring of fire. You were crying and screaming and then panting during the short breaks between contractions. 

Kiba growled at him and stood up. "I swear to God if you fuck something up, and she dies. I'm gonna fucking kill you!" He pushed you forward enough for him to sit with you between his legs.  

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Says the man who has no idea what he's doing and was about to do it alone." Kakashi pushed your legs up towards Kiba, who grabbed them to hold them up and open. 

Kakashi was too close to your vagina for Kiba's liking, but just tried to focus on you. "Breath with me, baby. You gotta breathe, or you're going to pass out. Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... Breathe out..." He was trying to talk you through it.

"The baby's head is out. You gotta push for me just two more times, Y/N. You can do it. I know you can." Kakashi had his hands cradling the baby's head, ready to assist in getting the shoulders out.  

Kiba's jaw clenched at how Kakashi said that to you. He whispered in your ear. "Push for me, baby. Just two more times, and we'll have our baby..." 

You push again, screaming...

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After 2 hours of pussy ripping labor, your's and Kiba's baby was born. Kakashi held the baby up, using the suction bulb to pull the amniotic fluid from his lungs. You finally heard him cry, and it made you cry tears of joy. Kiba cried as he cut the cord. 

Kakashi had to make due with a sewing kit he saw in the cabinet. He stitched the rip up. "You two will need to abstain from sex for 6 weeks, Kiba." He grabbed the baby blanket from the crib, taking the baby from your arms and wrapped the baby in it. He had noticed that you had passed out holding your new baby and handed the baby to Kiba after he crawled out from behind you. 

"I will go get one of the village doctors to make sure everything is ok with her and your daughter, and bring him here. I don't think she will be waking up anytime soon. She's exhausted. So, let her sleep. Keep the baby warm." He turned to leave. 

"Thank you... I still hate you, but thank you for helping.. I don't think I could've done it on my own..." Kiba spoke but didn't really look up. He couldn't take his eyes off his beautiful daughter, who had stopped crying, and was staring up at him. 

Kakashi nodded. He may have given Kiba a choice to accept his help or not, but really, he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He knew Kiba wouldn't be able to do this on his own. Plus, a part of him hoped it was his, but that hair she came out with, and those tiny upside down red triangles on her cheeks let him know right away. 

Kakashi left and came back with a doctor. While Kiba didn't move at all. He sat beside your sleeping form with his daughter in his arms. 

The doctor looked at you and the baby over. Everything was fine besides the stitches. They wouldn't absorb like medical stitches. They would have to be removed after you were healed enough. The doctor told Kiba everything he needed to do to take care of you and the baby. Then, when to bring the baby and you in to have a check up. The doctor left, leaving Kakashi, who wanted to say something. 

"I... I know I never apologized for what I did. What I did was wrong. I apologize. It wasn't her fault... I did indeed manipulate things like your schedule and her needs for you in my favor. I should've had more respect and self-control. I fell for her and her kindness and acted on an impulsive want. Anyways... I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused, and I hope the two of you have a very happy life from now and years to come." Kakashi hadn't planned to apologize at all, ever. But being here, watching how much Kiba cared for you that he was going to attempt to help you deliver the baby himself... he knew that Kiba truly loved you. 

Kiba sighed. He knew what Kakashi meant. You really were too kind and beautiful... You were too good for this world. Kiba thought you were too good for him, too. "I get it... had the roles been reversed. I probably would've tried to do that same. Y/N is the best, most beautiful woman I've ever met. We've been friends since we were in diapers... you know that. We were inseparable. If she ended up with anyone other than me, I wouldn't have been able to accept it..." 

"Yeahh.. I know. You guys have always been attached at the hip. I promise never to do that again. No missions for 12 weeks. She's going to need you to be here. I will find someone else to substitute on your team for the time being. Don't worry about being late on bills. Consider this my apology, and congratulations to you two. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. You have my number." Kakashi gave a smile through his mask and left Kiba to be alone with his daughter. 

Kiba laid on the floor, letting you have the entire bed. He also didn't want to risk passing out and dropping the baby. He finally had time to think. He remembered the name you picked if the baby were to be a girl, Hajime. He laid Hajime beside him as Akamaru walked over slowly, sniffing. He laid down near Hajime with his nose close to her shoulder, but not too close.

*I hope you guys enjoyed my story if you made it this far. Hopefully, there weren't too many mistakes. I plan to write more fanfics. Feel free to give me ideas. I do Naruto, My Hero Academia. I might do others soon. No pedophilia, incest, and pee or poop or puke.*

[loop-hole-319]

The Way He Fell

When Damian cut Tim's line he wasn't able to save himself.

Inspired by every time I read a fic where Damian cuts Tim's line and I have to go watch the gymnastics scene death from Final Destination.

Every... single... time

"Red Robin. Come in Red Robin."

Barbara had been trying to contact Tim for the last 45. About an hour ago, everyone had finished their patrols and returned to the Batcave. Everyone except Tim that is, who had left Robin to make his way back to the cave by himself. Damian seemed pretty upset about it too. He hadn't said a word since he got back and was kind of zoned out.

So forgive her for sounding a little harsh but she was exhausted and the two bird's petty bickering was driving everyone up the wall. She was really banking on Bruce making them patrol together tonight, would force them to bond. But here she was up an hour later than she planned because someone didn't want to even try to be a good big brother.

Finally she heard the soft crackling of Tim's com channel open.

"RED! Where the hell have you been! I've been trying to contact you for almost an hour! And you ditched Robin! How could you be so irresponsible!" She shouted into the mic.

"I know you two don't get along but you can't just leave him to fend for himself! You were supposed to watch him! Show him the ropes!" She sighed disappointably putting her hand up to her forehead

"I'm sorry" A voice that was discernibly not Tim's spoke from the other end of the line.

"Hello?" She questioned

"I'm sorry" The person was crying and sounded out of breath.

"Sir, are you okay? Why do you have Red Robin's com link?"

"I swear I didn't do it. I was just taking out the garbage." He whispered into the com his voice wobbly from crying.

"Sir, is Red Robin with you?"

The man on the line paused. Something was wrong.

"Yes"

"Sir can you please the com link to Red Robin." Barbara kept her voice steady, trying to ignore the cold pit forming at the bottom of her stomach.

"No" She tensed.

"Sir why can't you give the com link to Red Robin?"

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm -"

For a moment there was only soft choked sobs from the other side of the line, then heavy breathing of trying to get themselves under control. Her entire body was tense, there was something very, very wrong.

"Sir?"

"He's dead."

Ice shot through Barbara's veins

"What?"

"He's DEAD!" The man practically screamed into the mic.

She pulled up Tim's location and sure enough, he hadn't moved from that alley for an hour.

Babs had called Jason at ass o'clock in the morning, gave him some coordinates and told him to go check on replacement. Under normal circumstances he would have bitched and whined at her for waking him up. But something in her voice, maybe it was the poorly hidden fear in her voice that got his ass moving. She had called him because he was the closest and they needed someone at the scene while she woke the others.He only got the alert that Dickwing and Bruce were on their way when he rounded the corner heading into the alleyway.

A young man who couldn't have been more than 25 was sitting up against the wall resting his forehead on his knees. He barely makes out a soft sniff from the guy when he detected the faint stent of blood. Hood bent down, resting a kneepad on the wet street to get closer to the guy. "Hey buddy. You okay?" The kid shot his head up and stared at him, tears still flowing down his face from whenever he had contacted Babs.

How the hell did he contact Babs?

The kid squeezed his legs and looked away. " I'm sorry."

Jason took a moment to take a calming breath. "What are you sorry for kid?"

"He fell."

"Who fell?"

The kid stared straight ahead at the other alley wall for a second, before slowly lifting his left arm and pointing deeper into the alley.

There was a massive puddle of blood and sitting in the center was a familiar cape covering something. Ice flooded Jason's veins at the site of the black fabric. It was a very familiar cape sitting there surrounded by a puddle of blood. Jason up and closed his eyes forcibly pushing down the oncoming panic to allow himself to deal with the civilian.

" All right buddy." He pulled the kid up to his feet and patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you for telling Oracle, you should probably get out of here. You don't want to be here when the rest of the bats show up."

"So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go home and you're not going to tell anybody about this. You were never here, got it?"

The kid stared at him blankly for a second before slowly nodding his head and stepping back out of his grip. Normally he would walk such a shaken up civilian home, but not tonight. Tonight another Robin may have fallen.

He stood over the lump of fabric and lifted the cape. Tim's torso had been folded in half. His spine jutted out for his stomach having torn through his organs and flesh. Shards of his ribs were piercing out his sides and back. Tim lay lifelessly on the floor in front of him folded in half in a grotesque mockery of Dick's acrobatics.

Jason forced himself in a dissociative state as he reached for his com and spoke out the words he promised himself he'd never hear.

"A Fledging has fallen."

If Tim survived this, he was going to blame it on the shock. Not the shock of yet another of his 'brothers' attempted murderers. No, that had become expectation at this point. If anything, he was shocked at how sudden it was and how blatant this attempt was. Although based on the velocity and angle at which he was headed towards the concrete floor of an alley, he was not entirely confident that he could label this an attempt.

He had managed to grab on to a rusted pole that jutted out from the side of the building. It did little to slow his momentum only succeeding at rotating him mid-fall and tossing him further into the alley. He was sure he could have made it if the bar had not snapped at the height of his swing. If he wasn't going to land upside down. If he wasn't going so fast. If damien had not cut his line.

Wind brushed against his face, but this time it wasn't the soft. It didn't feel freeing like flying on a grapple. More like the wind was biting at his face. He never liked doing acrobatics, the thought of Dicks fancy flips had always scared him. Especially now as he's somersaulted through the air hurdling towards the concrete below him while upside down.

His manubrium took the brunt of the force. He could hear the crunch of his ribs as the force of impact slammed his sternum into the ground. Horrific pain shot through his side and chest. He was certain that his entire rib cage had just been crushed. His lungs were most definitely punctured.

His hips, unfortunately still had momentum and were coming down hard. With a sickening crunch his lumbar had been folded in half definitely breaking through the skin of his stomach. His knees slotted over his shoulders and his heels slammed down on either side of his head. Not that he could feel their impact on the cement. He couldn't feel anything from the waist down.

The sound of his spine snapping echoed off the empty alley walls. A horrible gargling sound came from his throat as his lungs automatically stretched open. Trying to pull an oxygen but only taking in blood, creating a horrible gurgling sound.

He could see his fingers twitching from muscle spasms behind his foot. He could feel his blood seeping through his lips and pooling on the ground and the only thing he could do was stare straight ahead. His brain couldn't even send the signal to his eyes to begin crying.

A hot numbness seeped out from the burning sensation at the core of his chest. He couldn't move, most likely paralyzed. Frozen still, forced to watch the pool of blood beneath him grow in size.

He couldn't tell where it was coming from. Although he predicted that a portion of his spine as well as his ribs were jutting out from his back and sides. His throat began to tighten and his lungs burned as they could do nothing but become saturated in his blood and his vision fade to black.

[transparent-peach]

bad days

School started like three weeks ago and i got into a flap. I have lot to do but i overly enjoy writing (it’s a safe place for me) so there is some comforting stuff to all my anxious and a bit lost human beings. Lots of love to you all. Hope ypu are doing well!

It’s a bit messed up i know. It is past midnight and i have to wake up at 5 a.m. Yeah, school sucks. :D

I'm here for y'all!🩷

First-person singular

James McAvoy x Reader

speak no evil era

words: 1066

————

I have a lot to do. If my head wasn't attached to my body i would lost it too in the mess of life i am having lately.

James is out there, pretending he's alright and smiling like there is no problem in this world. At least he is okay with his own life, his new movie just came out and he's happy he is busy again with these things. He loves the vibrant type of life and he enjoys every moment of the spotlight.

It's been like a month since we last acted like a couple because of the movie. The interviews, the talk shows. I had enough of them, and i was beyond proud of him, i was more excited than ever but i missed him. I missed our late night talking and our secret dates out there and the bunch of other things that a normal loving couple would do.

He came home late at night. It was a messy tuesday night and i had enough. I was exhausted and i felt like i could cry for eighteen hours straight. Everything was messed up, i had to face the fact that nothing is working out like the way i would want to.

– Love, i'm home! – I heard his voice downstairs as he put down his keys.

– Hey! – I swallowed my tears. He came up to me. His eyes were bloody red from the tiredness. He was quite weak and all he did was sit on the bed next to me. I sighed as i put my head onto his shoulder and i felt the rush of happiness mixed with dreariness inside of my chest.

A few drops of tears came out of my eyes and i couldn't help but hugged his arm like a little girl. I was shaking from anxiety.

– What is wrong, love? – His voice filled with surprise, more like a caring tone.

– I... – My voice cracked like a broken glass and i gasped for air. My lungs were filled with air but i couldn't breathe. I was afraid to admit that i had been in such a bad situation.

– Fuck, darling. Why are you crying? What's wrong? What happened? – He scooped up my cheeks as he turned to me.

– I feel so alone. I feel like a failure and i... – He listened carefully. He looked deeply into my eyes and he was concerned about my feelings.

– Yes, i am here. Please, continue!

– I miss you and i know i can't make you stay here when you have a lot of things going on. More valuable things than anything that i do but i... I am nearly 30 and you are doing so fine at fourty-something and i am feeling miserable...

He almost chuckled at my last sentence. I didn't even know what was happening in my head. I was just piffle around. I had so many information in my head. They all wanted to come out all in one.

– Y/N, don't. You have a lot to do too, just because you are not in this industry it doesn't mean you are not as important as any other working person. As any other person. – He took a deep breath. He caressed my cheeks with his thumb and moved closer towards me. – You are a woman. You have been through hell and back. You are the most amazing, strong, hardworking, caring woman i've ever met. Don't underestimate yourself. You are more than enough.

– Okay, but...

– No, no, no. Not a single "but". Come here.

He opened his arms and hugged me.

– I love you. – I whispered into the nothingness. My heartbeat slowly dropped down to normal, and i felt the cosy warmth in my body.

– I love you too, darling. – He placed a kiss on my head. His hug tightened around me. I felt his presence. I was finally able to feel him again. I was more than relaxed and relieved. I was listening to his heartbeat as we laid down. We were still cuddling as he placed a blanket on our tired bodies.

– I would enjoy a nice breakfast tomorrow. At our favourite place. I hope you would like it too. – He put his hand on my back and he caressed my lower back. He said those things with a nice low tone.

– I'd love that. – I was trying to hide my excitement.

– Okay love. We should get a good sleep before that. – He whispered into my ears and gave me a long kiss before i could say anything.

The morning after i got up with such an enthusiastic smile. I tapped his side of the bed and i felt terrible again when i found out he was missing.

– Oh god... – I mumbled to myself.

I heard a big clashing noise coming from the kitchen downstairs. I felt some kind of relief and places my head back on the pillow.

He opened the door with his leg, and i noticed a cup of coffee in his hand.

– I know, we are heading out for breakfast but i also know you wouldn't leave the house without one. – He talked like he is a genius and handed me the mug.

– Thank you! – I smiled in joy as i smelled the double espresso.

– Your bad habit, ma'am. How could i forget. – He placed a cigarette inside my mouth and lighted for me. I couldn’t help but smile as he put the lighter into his pocket.

– What a gentleman. – I laughed at his words and i put the cigarette down in the ashtray as i sipped my coffee. His admiration was so strong that i could sense it from miles. His eyes were sparkling and he let out a kind chuckle. He sat down on the couch and watched me enjoying my first "meal" of the day.

– You know i will always be here for you, love.

His comforting presence gave me a wholesome feeling. His words were pure and genuine as he looked deeply into my eyes.

– I know. I will always be there for you too.

[greenlotusleaf]

The witch isn't done with me.

"This pregnancy is making someone a bit fat," she says cheerfully. Of course, she isn't referring to herself. She's painfully svelte and attractive. Her hand kneads the bare curve of my belly. She loves every new widening inch of me. I can't respond. The other stuffs another donut in my mouth. I'm blushing and grateful.

I swallow it and groan. My belly is bloated. The stretchmarks are creeping into view, stretching across more of me.

"Sounds like the twins could use another," the witch says. "They want their mommy really fat and comfy." She's practically using me as a mattress. Her long straight blond hair spreads across my vastness.

They don't need another. I don't need another. I'm enormous. I don't have a choice, neither the witch nor my pregnancy cravings would be satisfied unless I was packed to bursting. Another glazed donut is shoved in my mouth. I hate it and love it at the same time. I eat slowly, but I'm not savoring it. I dread and anticipate what it'll do my waistline.

When the last donut is finally inside me, I release a heavy sigh. There's a snap. My underwear have snapped. I want to cry. Pregnancy hormones.

"Come on," the witch says. "Let's get you up." She has to lift my own arms for me. Her skinny fingers grip my chubby hands. I'm exhausted from the 10 hour marathon meal the witch and my body conspire to subject me to everyday.

I'm embarrassed. My vulnerability embarrasses me because I've never been so vulnerable and dependent in my life. I don't know how to process it.

She strains, smiles, and says, "I think you've put on a few." But with effort we get my body upright. I groan. We leave the broken pair of underwear, the tattered remains of my old self, on the sofa.

My body protests against gravity. I can feel each new wobbling pound of me with each waddling step. I have breasts now. Real knockers. Udders. They swell up a little more every day. They sit on my vast swollen middle. I can't seen anything over the horizon of my girth. It's as though my entire existence has become about my belly. How much the twins have grown. How much food need to eat. My thighs rub against each other. My hip brushes the wall.

It all used to be so easy. I took moving for granted. With my slender figure I was able to move easily, like a feather on the wind. The witch holds my side for me while I steady myself against the wall. In a month, there might not be room for both of us in the hall.

I groan with each step. "I know," she says softly. "I know, but you're doing great."

She helps me remove the tent-like dress that drapes over my curves. I don't recognize myself. There's nothing left of me. Tears well up, but I resist them. This is what I wanted.

She doesn't let go of my hand as she helps my bulky mass into the tub. My the flesh of hips press against the sides. I didn't have hips before all of this either. "I think I'm going to have to widen the tub again with the way you've been eating," the witch says. She's already widened it twice for my mass.

With a flick of her hand, warm water envelops me. There isn't enough. My belly can't be contained. It emerges from the water like an island. My breasts too. Still, it feels good to have some of the weight off my muscles. I'm a whale.

The witch works in silence. She cups water in her hands and lets it tumble down my mass from my tight belly button all the back to the tub. She anoints my stretchmarks with oil from roses. Finally, she tells me, "You were meant to be a mommy. Under that slim little figure, I knew there was a mother who could nourish life waiting to widen at the chance. You're taking to it beautifully."

I let the tears take me. This is what I wanted.

.

[cherrycola27]

Last Hurrah

Warnings: GUYS this is a heavy fic. I'm serious Minors DNI, 18+. Language, drinking. Mentions of head injury. Trigger Warning! Suicidal thoughts and actions

Pairing Rooster x Reader (Call Sign Juliet)

...................................................................................................

Part 1: In fair Fightertown where we lay our scene

For most people, when their life comes crashing down, they never saw it coming. They are the lucky ones. But for me, the whole thing played out infront of me in a series of scenes straight out a Shakespearean tragedy. How ironic really.

The first act came when watched my fiancée Rooster Bradshaw eject from his plane before it crashed into the side of a mountain.

The second came with the news that he had a head injury.

And the third, the final nail in my coffin, the dagger through the heart, was that when he woke up, he had no memory of who I was or our relationship over the past eighteen months. How very Nicholas Sparks.

All that happened six months and seventeen days ago. And for those six months and seventeen days, I, as well as every other member of the Dagger Squad family had been desperately trying to get him to remember me, to remember us, to remember the love we had, but nothing worked.

About a month ago I realized that there was little chance of Rooster ever remembering who I was, so I started making calls.

Do you know what it's like to have to explain to a baker, a venue owner, a photographer, a wedding coordinator, as well as sixty of you closest friends and family that you had to cancel your wedding because partner doesn't remember who you are? Because I do, and let me tell you, it sucks.

What might be worse is that for the past six months and seventeen days I have spent every night, crying myself to sleep, alone in the bed that we once shared.

For the past half a year I've felt as if I'm watching my life go by in slow motion. The world is moving forward without me. Rooster has gotten better for the most part, but he still doesn't know who I am. It kills me to see him happy, smiling, laughing, living without me.

And every time I see a girl flirt with him, the knife pushes futher into my chest. It isn't fair. I should be happy for him, happy that he is alive. But I'm not. Maybe it's horrible of me to think that way, but it's cruel that he is living carefree and smiling, while I'm a shell of the woman I once was.

Everyone has tried to help, but they know it's useless. Rooster and I are... friends... at best. But how can you be just friends with the person who six months ago promised you forever.

He is the one who almost died, yet I'm the one who did.

I'm not really living anymore, I'm just going through the motions. I get up, go to work, fly my plane, get a drink at the Hard Deck, go home, cry myself to sleep, and do it all again the next day.

It wasn't supposed to go like this. Rooster was the Romeo to my Juliet... a running joke with my call sign after we started dating.

Maybe it's karma for having Juliet as a call sign or maybe God has a sick sense of humor. Either way... I'm starting to think she was right... if you can't have the person you love in your life, is it really worth living?

"Hi there." A male voice snaps me out of my spiral. "You're Juliet right? I'm Dodger. I've seen you here a couple times, and I noticed you're glass is empty. Can I get you another drink?" He asks. I look him over. Dodger, I've seen him a few times. He is a bit younger than me and I probably out rank him. He is bad to look at, but he isn't Rooster. He hasn't been around long enough to know our history, and it's not like I wore your engagement ring anymore.

It felt wrong having a man give you attention, but Rooster got plenty from the girls...

I spent about an hour talking to Dodger. He flirted with me relentlessly, and honestly it felt good to have someone pay me attention, then before I even realized it, I had invited him home.

I made it as far as the couch before I stopped him. It felt wrong to let another man touch me, kiss me, let alone try to fuck me on the very couch Rooster had taken meu many times.

I mentally kicked myself that night after he left. I wasn't doing anything wrong— or was I? Everything seemed so unclear. I hadn't slept with anyone since Rooster's accident, I wondered if he had.

As the days drug on you found yourself slipping away more. You were short, angry, mean, bitter to those around you. You spent your days going through the motions and your nights crying or drinking away the pain.

And then, one Wednesday morning for no reason in particular the perfect plan hit you. That morning, you were asked to come in Friday night for some test flights. And that's when the realization hit you.

You were much happier the rest of the day. Thursday you smiled for the first time in ages, and we Friday came around, you were more than excited to go out.

Everyone commented how you seemed like your old self again.

You had a couple drinks at the Hard Deck but not too many because you did have to fly later that evening. You sang karaoke with Phoenix, danced without a care in the world, and even beat Hangman in a game of darts.

After a while you got hot and decided to step out on the deck for some air. You smiled knowing your friends would have a happy moment to remember you by.

You must have been out there longer than you thought because Jake came to check on you.

"Hey Jules, you okay?" He asked.

"I'm great Jake. You know I've been so lucky to have had you and everyone as friends. Rooster has been too. Make sure you watch out for him for me." You smiled as you hugged him.

"Well, I'm off to do a test flight. Goodbye Jake." You smiled with a tear in your eye.

You said your goodbyes to everyone else, save for Rooster. It hurt too much. Then you made your way to your car. You looked back at the Hard Deck one final time before putting it in gear and driving away.

You were gone for maybe five minutes before the wheels turned in Jake's head. He quickly found Phoenix. "Nat, I know I sound crazy but I think Juliet is going to hurt herself." He told her.

"What do you mean? She was fine when she left." Nat looked confused.

"That's the thing. She was a mess two days ago then all of a sudden she flips. They say that happens a lot when people decide to— and when were on deck she said she was lucky to have had us as friends and she asked me to watch out for Rooster for her. I know I sound crazy but Nat, I'm worried about her... she's supposed to do some test flying tonight... what if she..." Jake trailed off.

"You don't think she would? Do you?" Phoenix asked stunned.

"Phoenix her whole life fell apart. The person she is in love with doesn't know who she is. That's enough go make even the most sane person do something crazy." Jake said.

"Oh my God we have to do something." Phoenix said.

She and Jake quickly gathered everyone and explained the situation. Jake desperately tried to literally smack the memories back into Rooster with no success. Leaving them no other options the crew piled into the Bronco and Coyote's Jeep and raced to the air field.

Juliet took her time with her preflight checks, if it was going to be her last, she wanted to savor it.

Once she deemed everything perfect she placed her helmet on her head and climbed in the cockpit ready for take off.

"Mav you have to stop the training Juliet is going to hurt herself or worse!" Bob screamed into the phone while Jake drove. Phoenix was still trying to explain to Rooster what was going on but he was clueless.

There is no telling how many traffic laws Jake broke as he drove, but he didn't care.

Without warning, he hit a pot whole and a photo fell from the visor into Rooster's lap, and like lightning, every came back to him.

"Jake, where's Juliet, and why are you driving my car?" He asked.

"You know who Juliet is?" Phoenix asked leaning forward.

"Yes why wouldn't I?" Rooster asked. There was a collective sigh of relief, but then panic set in. Phoenix and Bob explained to him what happened and Rooster was in a panic.

Minutes later they pulled into base and jumped from the car, running to range control.

Mav had informed them that he couldn't get ahold of them. It was a race against the clock.

Juliet took a deep breath as she flew, she admired the sunset over the mountain peaks.

She took in the beautiful colors all around her, up here her problems seemed so small. She looked on her dash at the photo of her and Rooster. She grabbed her chain that held her dog tags and her engagement ring. She gripped them tight in her hand as she pulled the nose of her plane into a steep climb. Her goal was to send herself into GLOC so she wouldn't feel any pain.

She ignored the calls of the range control officers telling her to level out. She didn't hear the sounds of her friends bursting in the room yelling for her.

She tried to keep her breath even as she felt the g-forces pressing on her body, and then right before the blackness took over, she heard Rooster's voice calling out to her.

"JULIET!" He screamed over the comms. "Juliet, it's me Rooster, it's Bradley, please come in." He and the other range officers desperately tried to reach her, but there was no response.

The group looked out the tower window to see if the could spot her in the fleeting evening light.

They looked out just in time to see the ball of fire erupt from her plane as it collided with the side of the mountain.

Tag List: @dreamingathighaltitude @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mak-32 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @rosiahills22 @thedroneranger @roosterforme

Let me know if you want to be tagged in any other parts

[magefeathers]

My full video of the Tampa Ritual \o/ Yes, I'm insane for recording the whole thing, but also I couldn't really see through the head of the guy in front of me so I'm glad I held my phone over my head for an hour and a half. Audio quality is better than the video quality as I was quite zoomed in, but it sure is the whole show.

Show highlights, in my opinion:

it's very silly, but Vessel, iii, and iv all standing with their backs to the crowd at the end of TNDNBTG was just very cool, to me. cool guys don't look back at the explosions etc etc

also silly, but watching Adam run around stage taking pictures was fun

just. the way the crowd screams when iii and iv (but especially iii) come out onto the stage, and every time they come back out. iii sure is the master of crowd control and the crowd adores him for it

Vessel's barking during The Offering, because me too bestie it's a fun verbal stim (also all I can think of is the Letterkenny bit about DMX barking)

Vessel's screams in general, I'm not typically a fan of harsh vocals but he sounds soooo fucking good live

ii raising/holding out his arms, gesturing at the audience, making what looked like prayer hands, etc. I've seen videos of him doing that but never realized how much he did it, he's so interactive back there and I feel like a lot of the time he isn't paid attention to and/or can't be seen behind the kit

I feel like iv was doing a lot of spinning!! again it might just be bc people usually seem to focus their videoing on Vessel and iii but I wasn't expecting iv to spin as much as he did, and it was fun to watch!

iv was also hanging out on the little stand the keyboard was on for a lot of the time, it was very cute when him and Vessel were playing together up there

Atlantic. Jesus Christ. I was tearing up not only from the song but from the amount of blue lights in the audience, which the video does NOT do justice (I realize in hindsight, it's because I was so zoomed in, I wasn't capturing the full view of the stands)

watching the Espera grooving, especially during the beginning of Hypnosis and the breakdown in The Summoning, they looked like they were loving it as much as the crowd was

The beginning of Alkaline, good god. The camera drifts because I was so entranced by Vessel's stage presence that I wasn't looking at my phone for a while. The way he pulls the mic away from his face and kinda hisses on the end of desire.... I am unwell. I can't tell if you can actually see his fucking grin in this video or if it's just the lights on his face, but if you haven't seen the closeup vid someone else posted of this moment, please track it down. I've been compromised.

Missing Limbs. Fuck. I was crying. Everyone was crying. The way he sings the "without you lying next to me" and "like I've got missing limbs" broke my fucking heart. I adore this man. (bonus: you can hear me saying hell yeah at the beginning bc my bestie @/vacationbiblestudy came back from the merch booth with a shirt for me! he's the one that says "it's pretty" lol)

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda rolled my eyes at the INSANELY noticeable increase in crowd response at the beginning of Chokehold, and then again at the beginning of every TMBTE song, but honestly? The TMBTE portion of the show was genuinely my favorite. All of the songs went so fucking hard. Vessel's voice just got better and better as the show went on, idk how the hell he does it. He started the show amazing and ended the show phenomenal. Witchcraft.

The Summoning. Everything about the Summoning. It wasn't my favorite when I first heard it, but it grew on me, and god it fucks SO severely live. It's incredible. Vessel's voice, his screaming, the Espera dancing, Vessel squatting down to examine iii's playing (and the way he stands up stock straight afterward?? lmao), the DRUM SOLO!!!! and the way everyone waits for Vessel to do the damn Will Smith pose by ii and just screams for him on command, the way Vessel carried the "bad" in "make a good girl bad" god damn, everything.

iii got a mosh pit during Granite, maybe one day he'll get a real wall of death, but at least he got something lmao

the rain sound effects during Rain are really amped up live, and combined with the lights it's just so atmospheric and beautiful

Ascensionism live ALSO fucks severely. I'm surprised the camera wasn't a lot more shaky with how much I was straight up throwing ass. And the lights looking like stars against the ceiling of the stadium was so pretty, even though it didn't translate well in video. And I know I already mentioned ii's hand motions, but especially during Ascensionism, from "my redemption, eternal ascension" until the drums kick back in, ii was FEELING IT back there and I was having so much fun watching him

The bucket hat situation during TMBTE lmao I need to get a clip of just that bit and post it separately. Someone threw the hat on iii's side of the stage while the lights were down and iii was over on iv's side of the stage, and when iii came back he just picked the hat up and immediately put it on. He wore it for a while, then put it on Vessel, who also wore it for a while before just. throwing it on the fucking ground LMAO and then he proceeded to, essentially, dance around it until the song ended and a crew member threw it back out into the crowd

EUCLID!!!!!!!! GOD. GOD. I was getting teary eyed and then the way Vessel sang "do you remember me" just broke the dam and had me sobbing. iii getting the crowd clapping and then stopping them because they weren't on rhythm, and making them start again, iii wearing Sleep Token Mickey ears???? THE NIGHT BELONGS TO YOU!!!! and Vessel literally on his fucking knees for the whole end of the song 😭😭😭😭 and again, Adam in the bg taking pictures (god I hope they get posted at some point)

THIS GOT A LOT LONGER THAN EXPECTED............... THE WHOLE SHOW WAS A HIGHLIGHT. The fact that you can't hear me singing along, or screaming, is a highlight, because I absolutely fucking was. The whole show was fucking incredible, 100000/10, would recommend until I'm blue in the face, worth every goddamn penny I spent and ounce of financial stress the trip put me in. I will never fucking forget it. Especially since I have video evidence lmao

[bunchacrunchcake]

Dave Chapelle wrote the best trans joke I've ever heard. I say this as a trans author. He says for a trans woman (which I am,) no matter how much I augment my genitalia, it will never be a real vagina, even though it might look and feel just like the real thing. Then he says "Impossible pussy!" and slaps his knees. The camera cuts to a woman in the front row visibly upset and crying.

It's the perfect joke, its long, detailed, has cliff hangers, an edgy set up, and a really creative punch line that delivers social commentary both on trans vaginas and fake meat. It's masterful.

Chapelle says his one trans fan likes his jokes, so it's okay.

He says all oppression is not the same. He says he had to chew out a white women for letting her oppression take precedent over his as a black man in America.

The Black Panthers created the rainbow coalition specifically to guard against these divide and conquer tactics. The rainbow coalition spread to many countries, many races, creeds, religions, and genders. They aremed themselves because they knew the fight would be real, and dangerous. Black power, the Black Panther movement was about global unity and a drastic change in global power structures. Through COINTEL PRO and other efforts, the US Government played a large part in the assassination of leaders, downfall, and ultimate evisceration of the Black Panther Party which are now known as the Crips and Bloods.

They say you stop maturing the year you get famous. Chapelle I'm assuming stopped in his 20s because he seems, as a black person, to have missed the core message of BLM which is that our struggles are united and that if we don't shout BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER from the rooftops and FREE PALESTINE during religious services, we are complicit in the racist system that Chappelle himself spent an entire hour on Inside the Actors Studio complaining about.

Black trans women are murdered at a higher rate than almost any part of the US population. Trans and queer people all across the globe are systematically murdered. Being trans and queer is illegal and punishable by death or prison in many countries. Women, white and non-white, are often preyed upon and trafficked for sex globally as well.

BLM is a critical part of global history as it allows us to unentangle the deep roots of the prison industrial complex as well as things like redlining, and white capitalism so that we can start the very, very long and arduous process of in some way equalizing the playing field for a group of people that had horrific things done to them for centuries at the hands of powerful leaders.

It is built into BLM that liberation for black people is liberation for all. Not that it comes at the cost of everyone's freedom. It is a revitalization of the Black Panther Party.

Dave did 3 specials about trans people. James Acaster says "Edgy comedians, no one tells them what they can and can't say. They walk on stage, do 10 solid minutes, slagging off transgender people. Straight out the gate, making fun of transgender people. If people get upset about it, they say "Bad luck! That's my job! I'm a stand up comedian! I like to challenge people! If you don't like being challenged! Don't come to my shows! What's the matter guys? Too challenging for ya?!" He rants and repeats that for a little while. And then he says "Oh yeah, you know who's been long overdue a challenge? The trans community. They've had their guard down for too long if you ask me. They'll be checking their privileged on the way home now thanks to you, you brave little cis boy. I used to say the name of that comedian and it made things really awkward. 2019, people still happy to laugh at trans people, not as comfortable laughing at, I've learned, Ricky Gervais."

Dave Chappelle, found his one trans fan (not even friend), and wasn't given, but TOOK our equivalent of the n-word pass from her.

N-word passes are not real. It's a joke you play on dumb white people. Basically you give a white kid "the pass" to see if they're dumb enough to say the n-word in front of other black people. Then you get to sit back and laugh as the entire room goes ballistic on them. "OH MY GOD REBECCA WALKED INTO CHEMISTRY AND SAID WHATS UP MY N****S TO THE WHOLE CLASS!"

One random person does not speak for the whole planet.

I have also heard many well crafted racist black, asian, and latino jokes. I do not tell them. Not because they're not funny. But because they are based off of stereotypes that don't actually represent the vastly diverse group of people in those communities. They also are usually an oppressive person's opinion of someone who is opressed. It is the literal definition of bullying.

Retelling prejudiced jokes actively causes harm to those people. It supports the propaganda surrounding those communities that let police justify extrajudicial murder, and it keeps the people thinking that when a cop shoots a black man for going for his wallet, it was because he was scary, not because the cop was racist.

That's why I don't tell racist jokes, even if they are "really good."

Also, stand up comedy can literally be about ANYTHING. Pete Davidson did a whole bit about deciding whether to fuck his mom. It wasn't funny. But here's the thing, it could have been.

He could have said "Well... I already stuck my head through it."

For every one lifetime trans fan Dave keeps, he loses thousands. We are shouting at you from the rooftops that you are harmful to our community and you are furthering racism, because you are assigning hierarchy to oppression and deciding who is and isn't allowed to be oppressed. Rich, white men are at the top of that power structure.

I laughed out loud when I heard that joke. And then I slowly realized that I couldn't ethically stomach watching Chapelle any more. I didn't even know I was trans then, but just as a human being I couldn't do it. People that lean into hate I just don't let into my circle anymore. Yes even masters of their craft.