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marengogo · 1 year

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Silver Lining - What If #6: FOR(ever) ↔️ YOU(ng) - Jikook the Musical

Good Morning - by Verbal Jint [10 Years of Misinterpretation Part I]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Dear Ladies, Gentlemen and Distinguished Enbies, welcome to a one day only “showing” of FOR(ever) ↔️ YOU(ng) - Jikook the Musical. Tonight I shall try my best to narrate a cute little story, which has various songs as centre plot developers; hence a “musical”. Taken individually, all these events may seem absolutely disconnected, and with no relevance to each other. However, as I started to collect them, they turned out to compose quite the neat little story about two boys their love for music and perhaps each other? So grab a snack, and a thin hat everyone, sit, relax and enjoy the show.

SCENE 1: FOR YOU

This story brings us all the way back to almost 8 years ago, to be precise, the year is 2015, the date is August 18 and during BTS’ Japan Official Fan Meeting Undercover Mission in Osaka (this fan meet went on from the 13th to the 20th of August), while playing a game, JM suddenly loses consciousness and falls off stage. He is taken to a hospital immediately and as soon they are explained the situation, Big Hit Entertainment tweets the following:

TRANSLATION:

The same day, JM himself goes ahead and posts the following

TRANSLATION:

Fans panicked. Obviously VERY LUCKILY FOR ME: I WASN’T AROUND AT THE TIME. As for his members, I am sure they were worried out of their minds, so much so that one particular member would express his relief perhaps at having JM safe and sound back with them, right on their very stage. This member was JK, whom two days later (August 20), on the last day of this event, as they performed "For You", walked right by JM and stopped for a couple of seconds, looking at him while he was singing part of the song’s first verse. For the rest of the song, it would become quite visible how JM couldn’t help but smile (cutely).

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SCENE 2: I KNOW

So, even though we do not have an elaborated tale of what all the members must have felt exactly, it is safe to say that JM’s accident had a bit of an effect on JK’s mind. So much so that, a couple of months later, while he was playing around as Romeo & Juliet with JM, on the shoot-set of Season Greetings 2016, JK suddenly “refused” to play with JM because, and I quote:

Let’s fast forward to June 2016, this time we are in Paris, and the boys decide to start a VLIVE just before performing at KCON and, at the beginning of the live, we only have VMIN in sight. They start to talk about RM & JK’s new song “I Know” and, as the two are actually in the room but off camera, Tae asks bribes JK to sing a bit of the song. We still can’t see JK, but, while Tae looks away JM looks straight into JK’s direction as the latter proceeds to sing

🎶Know you love me, boy

So that I love you🎵

… The expression on JM’s face is priceless the things I’d give to know how JK sang this to JM. ANYWAYS, RM eventually also joins into a funny rendition of the song and when they are done, VMIN resumes talking to ARMY and though we will never know for sure what caused it, perhaps JK’s expression, or the lyrics, or the fact that it was JK or all things together, or none of the above, BUT JM did stumble his way through trying to describe the song, in the words of Tae, JM suddenly seemed to be a bit “nervous” almost as if someone had suddenly serenaded him out of nowhere.

Another example at JM being flustered actually happened a month earlier to the Paris trip, at the ISAC where the Tannies needed to sing a song called Hand in Hand and while they are practising (at minute 0:57) I believe that JK might have change the lyrics to “promise me” but don’t quote me on that!, which made JM react in that way Joon and Hobi on the other hand; LOOOL 😬.

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Basically, 10 months had effectively passed since the “For You Incident-Serenade” and it feels as if JK might have caught on to the fact that the easiest way to get a flustered reaction from JM is to sing to him. Perhaps he had to sing at him a couple more times off camera, in order to confirm this theory AS ALWAYS; WE WILL NEVER KNOW but from this moment on, whenever he’d find a chance to, it would seem like JK would take the topic at hand and find a way to romantically sing it at JM.

SCENE 3: A DAY LONG AGO

It is finally February 2017, and love isn’t the only thing in the air, in fact, on paper actually, on February 7, JK graduates high school. He is visibly hella excited, and though he goes to the ceremony alone, all his members show up, and afterwards, on their way to the restaurant, VMINKOOK share a ride. For the most part jikook are doing most of the talking and at a point in which JM is talking a very eager looking JK suddenly starts singing, at JM, the beginning lyrics from A day Long Ago (오래전 그날) by Yoon Jong Shin.

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AND, For the very first time on-camera, JM does his very best not to react. We can still see the slight hint of a smile, but for the most part, he’s successfully brushed it off and he is very quick at keeping the topic of discussion on track.

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This might have thrown off someone like your-truly, but JK? No, the boy likes a good challenge. JK nor was discouraged, nor did he try to force JM to listen to him, he just went along with JM. We are talking about an almost 20 year old boy who, for the greater part of 2016 (that is when he turned 19, which is the age you become an adult in Korea) has been trying his mighty best to have his hyungs, and JM in particular, understand that he is now an adult and that he has been for quite some time. But hyungs gonna hyung, immaright? Sorry JK…

SCENE 4: BEST OF ME

Now, I don’t know what happened in the months between JK’s graduation and the 1st of October (2017), but there seems to be no on-camera attempt of JK even attempting to sing at JM, in fact, if anything, JK has been trying to appeal in different ways. For example, JM-Encyclopedia JK makes an appearance, or I’d rather not call you hyung makes a strong comeback. Regardless, for the first time, at the Fan Meet in Goyang (1st October, 2017) JM is singing at JK lyrics from the “Best of Me” where he substitutes the word heaven (cheonkook) with Jungkook (he would do it again on episode 28 of RUN BTS, which would be broadcasted on November 7, 2017, but telling from the hairstyles it was probably filmed around the same period as the Goyang Fan Meet).

We are now halfway through the movie, and though our heroes have gone through a series of back-and-forths, they haven’t really encountered any “conflicts” per say; namean? Sure, JM is the one doing the singing now, because maybe he is trying to get JK’s attention. Had he lost said attention? Had something happened between the two of them? Or had their relationship evolved to a point in which he was just trying to return some of the musical energy he’d received thus far? WE WILL NEVER KNOW unless they tell us that is. But what we know is that a good 30 days after this, JK would take JM on what we now know to be, thanks to Beyond The Story, a healing trip to Tokyo, which would give birth to the first and most famous gcf: GCF in TOKYO.

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SCENE 5: BOY WITH LUV

Upon returning from Japan the two of them feel closer. It looks like they had the time of their life and they can’t seem to be able to talk about anything else. Basically they appear to be quite smitten with this shared experience, and perhaps, with each other? In addition, while still being the maknae, JK is sort of shifting into being more of a protective entity for JM and though JM tries his best to keep him in that designated maknae-slot, he also can’t help but indulge in the “offered protection”.

They are now spending a lot more time together and this fact is not lost on some people in their environment, regardless of whether said people want to admit it or not. Particularly in 2018 (where, before even getting to the infamous Nampyeon-Namchin December )

we are in Hamilton, September 22nd, on their Love Yourself Tour. As they perform Attack on Titan, during the song’s break, JK pulls a For You Serenade-typa thing, but this is not 2015 and JK is no longer 17. This time, he focuses on JM for the whole part, hair pushed back and all, and for the first time in a while JM is visibly flustered, he silently giggles, turns towards ARMY, and also pushes his hair back. JK’s satisfied expression as he got JM’s attention says it all.

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Yeah, this is not the same JK. He is not a boy who is relieved to see his bandmate's being well and alive, or trying to use the situation to his advantage in an awkwards manner. NO. This is a 21 year old, who’s just come back from the trip of a lifetime, this right here, seems to me, to be a boy with luv.

Speaking of which, fast-forward a couple of months, May 21, 2019, they are in California, and as they are getting ready to perform on The Voice, Memories 2019 will show us how, for the first time JK substitutes words of a song while singing at JM. He substitutes the word “Love is” with “Jimin” while singing Boy With Luv at JM, who acts like he is ignoring him completely but actually proceeds to sing along. Who knew there was an art in serenading and beginning serenaded? Jikook circa 2015 🤡

Indeed, there is nothing stronger than a boy with luv, let’s not forget that a couple of weeks prior to this (May 5th to be exact) Rose Bowl-gate did happen. Well, up to this point, all seems very flowery and very peachy; what could go wrong, right?.

SCENE 6: THE TRUTH UNTOLD

AND, here we are, the part right before the end of the “musical”. We all know some sort of “big conflict is coming” and at this point some might just turn off the movie and leave it at a happy place but the majority will probably just brave it through to this day I start watching Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet and stop the movie right before the part whenthey take the fake poison, nobody dies in my Romeo + Juliet, thank you, bye! . Let’s brave it through.

Things are going quite well in Jikook world. The Tannies were given a break for the first time ever and thought JM left to go explore the world, he made sure to travel all the way back to Seoul to spend JK’s birthday with him, just to then travel off again; dedication. BTS then takes off to go and shoot Bon Voyage 4, and amongst the many things JK goes up a mountain and comes down with snow for JM; devotion. The two of them are living life, all while diligently performing touring as well.

Thus comes the end of the Speak Yourself tour, Seoul, October 26, 2019. The vocal line performs The Truth Untold and it happens, not only do JK and JM turn to face each other as they sing the last part of the song, but they also change “And” to “But”.

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Jikookers who notice are left speechless, but jikookers weren’t the only people who noticed. That and a series of “jikook moments” throughout 26th-29th of October, made October 30, 2019 quickly roll by and the following happens:

I can’t even imagine what it must have felt to have experienced THAT. To be honest I don’t even want to think about it, but then actually is more like “I can’t believe they actually fucking did that…”. BUT, guess who won the IDGAF war?:

JIKOOK

I bet many thought jikook would perhaps “tone it down”, but they kept being themselves. They kept being as affectionate, annoying, close and “flirty” as per usual, I mean some time in 2020 we got 👇🏾

So yeah, I suppose, love will always win.

SCENE 7: GOOD MORNING

It’s now 2023. All the boys are getting ready to go to MS, as a result, they are giving it their all working on solo projects. Jikook has finally managed to become a bit more private, and this isn’t as a consequence to what happened in 2019 (if not we wouldn’t have had that hickey-incident). A lot has happened since then, but I believe that, perhaps, as things got more serious, and as they got older, their relationship naturally progressed into something more mature, personal and deeper in significance. For example JM associating JK with the song Young Forever

*The writing in the shoe where JM is sticking his tongue out says Jeon Jungkook.

a song that holds a very special place in JM’s heart; tattoo-worthy special.

There is that, the adult side … Aaaand then there is also JK & JM quietly spending 4 days together in NYC/CT, in the midst of JK’s debut (perhaps getting content ready?) and there is also JK half naked in bed trying to bait JM into doing a live with him and starting off the bat with singing at JM the initial lyrics from Good Morning by Verbal Jint.

🎶Good morning – that’s what I texted you

I think I’m into you, it’s dangerous 🎵

… I suppose old habits die hard.

THE END

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾

Marengo.

DELETED SCENES:

THROUGH THE NIGHT by IU

MAKE IT RIGHT by BTS

DAY vers.

NIGHT vers.

ROLLIN’ by BRAVE GIRLS:

#Spotify #Youtube #SoundCloud #Marengo's Silver World #jikook #jikook the Musical

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movedto-bunny-lovers · 11 months

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Any unanswered questions for Mirko to answer? 😃

Hope you have a wonderful weekend & thank you for the ask! 😊

American Beauty/American Psycho - do you tend to fall in love quickly and spontaneously, or is it more of a slow burn for you? how long did it take for you to realize that you were in love with S/I?

"I tend to fall in love quickly. It took me about an hour and a half to fall in love with her."

The Run and Go - how do you comfort S/I when they're feeling upset? and how would you say they comfort you?

"I comfort her by holding her in my arms while telling how much I love her and how important I am to her. She comforts me by holding me in her arms, uses her sweet words and brings me one of my comfort foods."

Air Catcher - did you have any sort of issues being vulnerable with S/I at first, or did you feel completely safe with them the moment you met them?

"I felt completely safe with her the moment I met her."

Lonely Hearts Club - were you nervous at all when you realized your feelings for S/I? did you feel like they wouldn't like you back, or were you confident that they felt the same?

"No, I wasn't nervous at all and I was confident that she felt the same."

Little Talks - did you and S/I meet when you were younger? if so, how would you say that the two of you have changed since then? if not, have you ever told each other about how you were when you were younger?

"No, but we did talked about how when we were younger."

The Overpass - do you keep any of S/I's shirts/sweaters/etc. around for when they're not with you? and, do you let S/I keep any of your clothes?

"Yes and yes!"

Sweet Talk - have you ever completely misinterpreted something that S/I said to you? what was it that they were actually trying to say, and what did you think they meant?

"No, she didn't."

Bad Enough For You - do you act differently around S/I compared to everyone else? how so?

"Yes, I get soft when I'm with her."

Buddy Holly - which of you tends to be more protective - you or S/I? how do you feel about that fact?

"I'm the one who is more protective and I don't mind it at all since I'm very strong."

Buttercup - what are your favorite pet names/nicknames for S/I? and do you like the pet names/nicknames that S/I uses for you?

"My favorite pet names for her would be bunny, sweetie and babe. Yes, I love the pet names that she uses for me."

In a Dream - do you ever have dreams about S/I? if you can remember any, describe one!

"Yes, we were hiking on a hot day. We were wearing sleeveless shirts, carrying our water bottles and she had her hand on my biceps as we were walking. We both looked at each other, she gave me a kiss on my temple."

Wine Red - if you had to pick a color or two to describe S/I, which would you pick and why?

"Yellow, because of how bright she is."

#otp: rabbit hero and her bunny #self shipping #self shipping community #selfship community #self ship community #f/ovember #f/o takeover #romantic f/o #ask #long post #long post cw

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eatnightmares · 2 months

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1.6 oh boy this is a big one. promised bride! carpenter and faulkner at 18! VAUGHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how it begins count: 1

it always begins at dusk...carpenter finding faulkner's body at dusk...

sick "i used to dream of cataclysmic events like these" sunday reference

no but fr long white dress........faulk....she has nowhere else to go...carp....

GOD SO MUCH GOING ON HERE OK. "i cannot be bound into this life that they have planned for me" so very very carpenter but also a little s3 faulkner...

trawlerman i hate you but "why should their outcomes be natural and mine obscene" straight fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but also carpenter choosing to go back to the faith rather than stay in her dead end job with no loved ones. choosing the thing that eats you.

"either way i become a vessel" "you are a vessel; to be anything else would be in excess of your own nature" chewing this one...again there is never a clean escape never a third option...s3 faulkner as a reflection of the trawlerman...

"bear me a gift" snapping killing destroying at this choice of words but then "i shall leave you something in return" it's just words it's just stories it's all the same it's still sacrifice it's all transactional

AND THE FAULKNERISMS IN THE GROOM. both of them having parallels to the promised bride but only faulkner to the groom... (<- utena guy when the. when. when the when.)

and the church bells... "the river fills every inch of him. and when it's done it passes on"....

this is how it begins count: 2

"MY FRIEND VAUGHAN" I'M GONNA THROW UP VAUGHAN MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND VAUGHAN. i'll get into it more in the next ep but it's fucking insane they never bring them up again after that. they deliver the thesis statement of the show and are the beating heart of both paige and carpenter's stories. and they died. and that was it.

carpenter's whole thing about the future... :(

"they have no idea how long i'll keep turning that phrase over in my mind. we each get to choose the thing that eats us." I'M GONNA THROW UP I'M SERIOUSLY NOT GONNA MAKE IT

"at least then i spend those 8 months feeling like i'll have some place to go" "everyone needs that" CARPENTERRRRRR

carpenter you're the only person on this son of a bitch earth who understands me. (although. transactions...)

I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK. NANA GLASS IN HER HEAD TELLING HER SHE CAN'T ESCAPE THE CHANGES COMING FOR HER. SHE SO BADLY NEEDS SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND HER AND /CHOOSE/ HER. I WILL NEVER TELL VAUGHAN THIS. NEVER KNOWING THEY WERE SACRIFICED. SHE NEEDS TO GO BACK TO THE GULCH AND TELL HER BROTHER SHE LOVES HIM.

she didn't even tell them it was her birthday.............

:((((((((((((

christ The Thing In The Branches story...this was love, of a kind, in the only language i was capable of speaking...if i could've sung like a bird, flown up to join it in the darkness, i would've done that instead...fully admitting if it came back for him he'd forsake the trawlerman...

how fundamentally humans and gods can't communicate or understand each other and only speak through violence.

I HATE IT HEREEEEEEE THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IS A STORY IS WORDS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IS OPENING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. IF ONLY ALL HUMAN TRANSACTIONS WERE SO SIMPLE. if violence is the only acceptable method of communication, if relationships can only be transactional, and all carpenter wants is someone to open up to who won't hurt her for it...

"change comes as change must" KILLING MYSELF

RAAAUUAUUSGAOGJGHGHGHG CARPENTERRRR

this is how it begins count: 3 (bringing people together...carpfaulk...paige...)

KILLING MYSELF KILLING MYSELF "BECAUSE I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE NEVER EVEN WANTED THIS SHE JUST WANTED SOMETHING!!!!!!!!

"that'll do, to begin with" count 4? 3.5?

faulkner "to begin with" count 5!

man it is fucked up that faulkner's dad straight up left but he's such an unreliable ass narrator there's this lingering feeling he's misinterpreting something especially with his refusal to read the letter...i forget if anything comes of that...

BRO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PSYCHOANALYZE ALL THIS (is going to anyway)

the sfx as he literally claws at the floorboards...oh my mentally ill guy... "a purpose so powerful and single minded it flings people from me" wishing he could tell himself he wants people to run from him but he can't quite convince himself...

jon ware: and we'll use chocolate as a tasteful way of recalling this specific scene where faulkner leaves his family behind for good and feels abandon, invoking a sort of childish and nostalgic feeling

me: if carpenter had chocolate in her pocket the whole time she could've saved him. pss pss pss

sorry i keep relating everything back to the finale but i'd rather abandon this place than be abandon i won't be left to live out a life unseen.........desperately trying to convince himself he made carpenter leave first refusing to go with her into her humbler story...

the entire bit about leaving the drowning song marks...nobody should get to succeed where we failed so very badly to be a family...carp's tired acceptance of how her family fell apart vs how bitter faulk is...

MAN (but also the pollutant masks and brown mists and whispers...were they near the polluted lands? i really gotta pin down how the map of the peninsula looks hrkshgmk)

GOOOOOOOD I COMPLETELY FORGET HOW HIS CALL W EDDIE GOES LATER IN THE SEASON BUT JUST KNOWING IT HAPPENS IS GONNA. RAAAAHHHUUGGHHH.

HE WAS OUT THERE FOR 6 MONTHS....

this is the place count 1

again between the chocolate and the comic books it's like. gahhhhh that's just some teenagerrrrr

MAN...HE JUST NEEDS PEOPLE TOO...THAT'S WHAT TELLING THESE STORIES SIDE BY SIDE IS ALL ABOUT RIGHT...THEY BOTH CAME INTO THE FAITH AT THE SAME AGE, BOTH HORRIBLY LOST AND LONELY AND VULNERABLE...

MAN THEY REALLY ARE USING "THIS IS THE PLACE" A LOT HUH. AND IT IS ISN'T IT. MAYBE IF HE'D COMMIT TO CALLING EDDIE HE COULD'VE HAD A CHANCE. BUT HE WALKED INTO THE JAWS AND WAITED PATIENTLY FOR THEM TO CLOSE. THIS IS THE PLACE. THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PLACE.

dusk again too...

this is how it begins count 6...

something about how badly faulkner wants to Understand but never being sainted...

this is how it begins count 7!! whew!!!!!

#venus speaks #tsv relisten

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missing-wires · 1 year

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See what you made me do? I did this for you!! The pizza, the characters: it’s all oven preparation. Everything is connected!! This is foreplay at its finest. I got more accents than a TJ whorehouse. I wasn’t born to do these things, my feelings for you propelled me to this moment.

Like we haven’t even seen each other in person yet. Imagine the things I could do if I held your hand! One touch and I could be POTUS. How would you like to be the youngest and prettiest First Lady this beautiful nation has ever seen? Doesn’t the thought pre-heat the oven a little? Was or was not the pizza delicious? You ate it, remember? It’s all connected!!

There’s no turning back now. The pizza has been digested. The ship has sailed, as it were. You’ve been red-pepperonied. You must see this through and none of your teen FB dweeb friends can save you. Like you’re putting me in a weird position. Don’t talk to baby face minors about me and use them as little, child human shields. They didn’t eat the pizza, you did.

I changed my mind about House Mouse, he’s okay, but stop talking to teenagers, that’s creepy!! Like you’re really gonna long con some 15 year old into using his daddy’s credit card to subscribe to your OnlyFans? Is that the business model? Or maybe you’re just gonna gold dig Frankie Muniz?

I just can’t figure out why you intentionally misspelled his name. You know damn well he was in that movie with Lizzie McGuire:

That’s supposed to be me, isn’t it? Like I’m some secret agent snooping on your shit, like it’s sooo hard to find!! You’re not half as sneaky as you think you are.

Before you revealed that you actually meant “Frankie Muniz” with zero acknowledgement or apology for error, by the way, I tried googling but couldn’t find any “Freddie”s racing this weekend in any kind of vehicle. Then I thought, well maybe she meant “Freddy” — that is a more common spelling variant, after all. But no dice! Then I thought, well maybe “racing” is zoomer slang for getting high or maybe it’s code for my “spiraling” — as in what what happens after a succession of racy thoughts. Like what in the fuck is she trying to say because I know my girl and she’s not dumb! I thought to myself, “Hmm… maybe she’s trying to say I’m Freddy Kruger and that I’m coming to her house this weekend.” Where you live, after all, is nominally connected to the movie. Then I thought, “Oh, great, now she’s misinterpreting my shit, because she prefers playing ascii emoji circle jerk with minors to asking ‘hey, what did you mean by that’.”

And don’t even get me started on that picture you posted. But as for the swimming: pics or didn’t happen. 🌞🍑👙💦🍉

#more flashback #saturday morning vibes #Spotify

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hellosarabrinasarab · 2 years

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Let's talk about love

Before we go to the main topic, let me make an official apology to my future husband or the one that I'll love all of my heart, for writing this. I hope you understand that your sweety pumpkin girl is a sloppy girl, who has an idea of writing a love story after witnessing her two friends become a 'bucin' on instagram. And also much much bigger apology, that instead of stopping her mind from writing anything publicly, she still decides to do it, not knowing that she will marry you at last. (P.S. but you still the one that I love forever)

okay, shall we?

there's this one guy, who I met since elementary school. He was one of the most handsome guy in the class, and we were classmate from grade 1 until we graduated. All of my classmate were a mix from 2 different kindergarten, so I already knew half of them and still clueless about the rest. So at the beginning, I didn't really know him, but we were keep going to the same class so I finally know a little bit of him by the time we were in grade 2.

When I was waiting for the bus coming, after school, he and our friends walked pass me. He said hello, it didn't feels like he forcing it, it just naturally being like that. But our friend teased him, jokingly, said that he liked me, by the time they already walked through me. Even if it's from the distance, I still heard it. But I pretend that I didn't heard it. From that moment, everything was different.

The next day at class, and also the other couples of day after that, I kept caught him looking at me. We rarely talked, but I just had this feeling that he always watching me. I don't know if he truly watching me or was it just me that misinterpret. After that, we talked. Through our notes.

At grade 3, he sat behind me. We want to continually speaking to each other, but at grade 3, the relationship between boys and girls, were starting to get sensitive. Because we were started to get attracted to each other, and it is forbidden to have a romantic relationship by our school law, so we teased anyone who get contact to the opposite sex. It made it difficult to talked to him, especially when our classmate were looking on us.

So me and him couldn't conversed freely, but we decide to changing notes. So instead of talked, we would write.

Everyday at school, we exchanged notes via our book, that we bought especially just to chat. While our friend kept teasing us for liking each other, in reality we'd never be seen standing besides each other or speaking blatantly. But then, one of my friends were not comfortable with us exchanging notes, and reported us to our teacher. We got asked to meet our teacher separately and I denied all of the allegations. After that, I felt traumatized and avoid meeting those teacher.

I thought that I should kept my distance from him, but I felt that he just ignored the fact to we being reported and instead just keep watching me. We stopped sending messages through the book. I forget what exactly happened, but after that, we were allowed to had our own cellphone and we grew more closer by texting almost everyday.

Because I met him everyday in the class, there's no chance for me to totally forget about him. One or two event always happened here and there. He promised to go to our friend's house if I'm coming too. He was the one who shouted first when our teacher told the class, that I won in a competition. And as we got in higher grade, even our teacher joined the club to teased us for liking each other. (Just for clear, we never officially dating each other). All that moment were special to me and me fluttered.

We texted each other soooo much, that I found myself know him soo much better that I know everybody else in the class. We grew closer through our phone, but I never had the courage to actually face him, even if he asked me to meet him alone.

Then it's time for us to chose our next journey and moved to new school.

....

Let's end here for now, I will get back in another time and continue the story.

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haikyuu-sins · 3 years

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Hiiii sweetie I love your Law writings so much! Oh this sounds like your others are bad, no I didn't mean to say that! I'm sure your others are good too, I just didn't read them yet because I'm Law obsessed lately. Anyways, could I request something? It's actually my first time to request something so I hope I did it right??? I'm sorry if I didn't. Coming back to the request, could you do something like Law x reader (preferably female but gn would be okay too though so everyone can relate!) being kinda close to each other and always teasing each other (she is a Strawhat member) and he is deeply in love with her but his heart breaks seeing her hugging a guy of her crew? Like he knows she's a cutiepie and loves hugging her friends but he just gets so jealous seeing her with Zoro or whoever and his mood changes and he distances himself from her, leaving her all confused because he thinks it's impossible for her to like him when it's so much more likely and also practical to date someone of her crew. But then she asks him about him being so weird and cold lately and he kind of let's everything out and confesses? I'm so sorry if this is too long or complicated, ignore it if that's the case! Sending lots of love to you from Germany! <3

Oh my freaking goodness you’re so sweet! I’m glad you enjoy all of my Law writings as much as I love writing for him! Don’t even worry, you don’t have to read my other’s if you don’t want to, if it’s just Law you wanna read the go right ahead! :) GERMANY?! I have people reading my works in GERMANY?! It always baffles me when I get asks that say they’re from another country because I forget that not everyone is going to live near me. Thank you for all the love all the way from Germany! ❤️

Warnings: None, other than some swearing here and there, not proofread in the slightest.

****Law x Strawhat!Reader

He hated it. There was nothing more that Law hated right now was seeing you draped over Zoro’s back while you watched something over his shoulder. He was stupid to think that you wouldn’t have a close relationship with them, of course you would. Law could only grit his teeth and endure it. It wasn’t like the two of you were in a relationship, he couldn’t tell you to stop.

Law actually could think of something he hated more. It was the fact that Zoro didn’t seem to mind, not in the slightest. It was like this was a daily occurrence for him and it was something he was used to. Part of him wanted to see the marimo push you off and act annoyed. But something told him that even then, you wouldn’t care and would simply do it again.

“Hey Law! Come look at what Usopp made-!” you slid off of Zoro’s back and turned around with a smile, hoping to see the other swordsman you had seen just a moment ago. Your sweet smile turned into a frown, then a pout when you realized he wasn’t there anymore. ‘Where did he go?’ You thought to yourself as you looked around the deck.

You knew that the other captain was a bit more reclusive than you’d like since you enjoyed being around him and it never seemed like he wanted to be around the rest of the crew-probably because most of the crew was so boisturious and loud and Law was, well...the opposite of boisturious and loud.

It didn’t take you long to find him. “You left us!” you say to him, playfully feigning like you were upset as you crossed your arms. “How rude!”

“And for a reason.” he simply responded back, not even looking at you while he did.

“Sorry, were we being too loud?” you chuckled and smiled. “You’re gonna have to get used to that on this ship while you’re here with us.”

Am I going to have to get used to seeing you all over your crew as well? Law kept his thoughts to himself while he opted not to give you another response.

“Um...I’ll just…” you pointed back to Zoro and the others, leaving him to be by himself since that’s what you thought he wanted. It was the opposite. He wanted to be around you, but he just couldn’t stand seeing you so close to them as well. As much as he wished that was him, he’d never say it aloud.

It was something that you had been noticing the past few days. The two of you got along great when you were on Punk Hazard together, so what was different now? You felt more comfortable since you were on your own ship and maybe that was it. There weren't any battles happening and everyone was quite lax...so shouldn’t it be the opposite? Shouldn’t he be more relaxed now that he knew he was safe? Or was that even it? You weren’t sure.

It took you a few days to finally approach him about it. You noticed that every time you he was around you and then when you went over to your crew mates, he’d be gone before you even turned back around.

The crew was inside eating and Law had finished first, opting to go outside in the quiet after he was done. You soon followed after you were done and left the loud dining room to find him. It wasn’t difficult since there was only a limited area outside on the deck.

“Don’t like how loud it is in there?” you chuckled as you walked up to the railing next to him. “I’m not sure how long you’ll stay with us, but you get used to it, you actually tend to enjoy it after a while and when it’s quiet, you feel a little weird.”

“I don’t think I’ll be getting used to Mugiwara-ya anytime soon and I don’t know how you deal with…” Luffy’s loud shriek was heard in the distance and Law’s face scrunched up, “that.”

You only laugh at the other captain, “I take it your crew isn’t like this then?”

He rolled his eyes and almost cringed at the thought. “No. They are. I just choose to ignore it most of the time.”

“And does that work?”

He answered almost immediately, “Never.”

You laughed again and Law felt like his breath almost caught in his throat. It was something he would be able to listen to over and over again and never get sick of-unlike your captain.

“I wanted to ask you something too…” your fingers tapped the railing and traced the design of the wood. “Are you okay? Or did I do something wrong? I thought we were getting along really well and lately it feels like you’ve been more distant for some reason. I just...I like talking to you and I thought you did too. We’ll be in the middle of a conversation and I’ll turn to talk to someone and then when I turn back to talk to you again, you’re gone. But maybe I just misinterpreted it and you didn’t want to talk to me in the first place.” you let out an almost pitiful sounding laugh, along with a sad smile.

Fuck...That wasn’t the reason in the slightest and he hated that he made you think that it was your fault he was just a little jealous of your crew mates that you live with.

“No.. that’s not it…” he sighed to himself, feeling guilty that he had made you feel that way. He was fighting with himself internally. Do I say something to them or not? He knew that there wouldn’t be much of a relationship since the two of you were on separate crews. Pair that with the fact that he doesn’t even know if he’ll survive this attack on Doflamingo.

Law wouldn’t want to get your hopes up about anything if you felt the same way about him. At the same time, this could possibly be one of his only chances to tell you how he felt. All he could think about was embarrassing himself. From the first time he saw you on Sabaody, he knew that there was something about you because of the way you never left his mind since then.

It was a stroke of luck that you managed to see him again on Punk Hazard. Since you were relatively new to the crew at that time, you still hadn’t bonded with anyone in particular so he never saw you acting like you do now with them.

You raised your brow in an attempt to get him to continue with what he was trying to say. “Then what is it?” you ask him slowly. “If you don’t want to say anything, that’s fine I guess. As long as I’m not doing anything to make you mad or hate me.”

“I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you either.” he paused for a moment, gritting his teeth together. Law couldn’t believe that he was even doing this to himself. “Quite the opposite actually…”

Your brow raised again in slight confusion. “Oh?” you hesitated, the thought registering in your head about what he meant. You knew he wasn’t exactly the person who would let his feelings gush out. A small smile slipped out and you tried your best not to smirk.. “Ooh~ I see.” you drug your words out slowly.

As Law went to open his mouth, whether to object to what you were saying-even though he wasn’t-or let you know that you were right, he didn’t get to say anything before your Captain burst onto the deck.

“Y/N-chaaan!!! Come play with us!!” and you couldn’t even object or tell Luffy that you would be there in a minute when a long arm stretched out to grab you. It wrapped around your waist and you before it was able to yank you away from Law, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and planted your lips firmly on his.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me~” you grin as you pull away, not because you want to but because you’re being forced away by Luffy.

Law could feel his cheeks heat up from the sudden kiss and all he wanted to do was grab his hat and pull it over his face. But then he would’ve missed seeing your smile as you notice just how flustered you made him. He wouldn’t mind being a little embarrassed if he gets to see your smile every time.

#one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar-law-x-reader #law-x-reader #trafalgar law scenario #trafalgar law fic #law op #trafalgar law op #trafalgar law imagine #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #op

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”

#Anakin Skywalker #Mace Windu #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Jedha #Jedi #Phoenix Posts #Anakin and the Jedi Babies

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

Text

Secret’s Out

Father of Mine – Part 1 and Part 2

Bruce was looking at his emails when Y/N arrived at the table.

She was breathing heavily and her hair was a bit messy, just further proving she had rushed to get there.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she huffed embarrassingly. “My shoot ran over and every one was moving so slowly.”

Bruce smiled. “Y/N. Relax.”

Then he stood up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

The two of them hadn’t seen each other in over a month. Y/N had been traveling for work constantly. And between the vigilante life and Wayne Enterprises, Bruce was running on 2 hours of sleep on the daily.

“I need a drink,” Y/N finally sighed after she got situated.

As if on cue, their waitress dropped Y/N’s favorite drink in front of her.

Y/N eyed Bruce with surprise.

He just shrugged.

Sometimes Y/N forgot how much her father noticed literally everything.

“Thank you,” she told the waitress.

“You’re overworking yourself,” Bruce said with a disapproving look.

She rolled her eyes. “Really? You’re not one to talk, Bruce.”

“You deserve a vacation. I’ll pay for it. Pick wherever you want. Bring Jason. Or some friends.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Bruce…”

It was a warning.

From the very start of their unconventional father-daughter relationship, Y/N had made it clear that she could not be bought. And Bruce spoiling her made her extremely uncomfortable. Even now, she still tried to at least split restaurant checks with him. Bruce always won those battles though.

“I’ll take a vacation when you do,” she finally countered.

That sure shut him up.

“Hey, I actually brought you something,” Y/N changed the subject as she reached for her bag.

A moment later, she lightly placed a manila folder onto the table.

Bruce’s brow furrowed as he reached for it.

As soon as he opened it, he froze.

“I had to clean out some stuff and put things into storage,” Y/N explained. “I found all my mom’s photos. I figured I could make copies of some childhood photos for you.”

Bruce’s silence made Y/N nervous.

“If you don’t want them, that’s totally fine.” She started to reach for the folder out of Bruce’s grip with awkward embarrassment. “It was stupid–”

But Bruce quickly pulled the folder closer to him and stopped her from taking the photos from him.

“Thank you,” he announced.

It made Y/N quickly sit back in her chair, caught off guard by his sincere reaction and how he’d immediately become protective of the photos.

Bruce awkwardly cleared his throat. “Thank you, Y/N.”

He repeated to make sure she understood how thankful he truly was. And Y/N suspected the throat clearing was to hide his emotions.

Now she watched as Bruce slowly went through every picture. He took in every detail with a soft smile.

These weren’t just photos. These were all of Y/N’s memories that Bruce missed, that he could never get back. And he was savoring all of them.

Then Bruce paused and was fully smiling now.

“What?” Y/N asked.

She didn’t know why all of this made her so nervous.

Bruce didn’t say anything as he lifted a photo and flipped it to show her.

It wasn’t from her childhood.

It was a black and white photo of Jason. A candid from when he had escorted her around the slums of Gotham for her most recent gallery show.

After months of thinking about it, Y/N finally had decided she wanted to frame it and hang it somewhere in her apartment.

Y/N’s jaw dropped with embarrassment and she ripped it from his hands.

“I was developing some photos at the same time as I was making the copies. Must’ve gotten mixed up in those,” Y/N explained too quickly, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.

It made Bruce happy to know that Y/N didn’t have the same inability to love someone and let people in like he did. It was a relief that she didn’t isolate herself from it like he had. If her mother was still alive, Bruce would thank her for it. But if Y/N’s mother were alive, he would’ve never known about Y/N in the first place.

Their entire dinner was spent with Bruce looking at the old photos. He had at least two questions for each one. Some of them Y/N didn’t remember being taken. But most of them came with stories or a loving memory.

Y/N talked for most of the meal. But that’s exactly what Bruce wanted.

Furthermore, Bruce had nothing of value to update her on. Batman business had consumed his life as of lately, and he had made a promise to never involve Y/N in any of it. And Jason seemed to be on the same page when it came to his other life as Red Hood.

Both men seemed determined to keep her safe and away from it all.

Two hours later, Bruce was paying the check and helping Y/N into her coat.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he muttered as they started walking out.

Y/N had learned by now to give up on those small battles. Jason was the same way when it came to making sure she got home safely.

As they made their way to the exit, Y/N caught a few stares from other patrons who were still eating.

“Do you ever get used to it?” She asked her father in a low voice.

“Get used to what?” He asked, genuinely unaware of what she was getting at.

“People gawking at you.”

Bruce glanced around and unintentionally glared at anyone who was staring at Y/N.

“It’s good that I’m seen in public…for obvious reason,” he hinted in a quiet voice, obviously talking about needing the cover to continue his life as a masked vigilante.

Once they were outside, Alfred was already waiting at the curb with the Rolls-Royce. He greeted Y/N with a hug and a kiss to her cheek before opening the door for her and Bruce.

When they got to Y/N’s apartment building, she said her goodbyes to Alfred. And Bruce walked Y/N all the way up to her door.

Even though Y/N insisted it was overkill and she could get up the stairs on her own just fine, Bruce had seen too many terrible things in this forsaken city. He could think of thousands of things that could happen to Y/N between the car and her front door.

Once Y/N realized that Bruce’s paranoia came from experience, she stopped trying to stop his chivalry and overprotective ways. She finally understood that Bruce had seen things that would prevent her from ever sleeping again. So if walking Y/N to her door gave him a little peace of mind, she wasn’t going to take that away from him.

Y/N turned to Bruce when they reached her door. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“Of course. I’m glad we could spend some time together. Thank you again for the photos.”

Y/N didn’t realize that Bruce was about to hang every single one around Wayne Manor.

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Get home safe.”

——————

Y/N woke up wrapped strong arms, her body overheating slightly.

When she had come home from dinner last night, Jason had already left for patrol.

He hadn’t woken her up when he got back home, just proving how exhausted Y/N had been these past few weeks.

But it was the continuous buzzing vibrations of her phone that woke her up. When she brightened the screen, she saw that she had dozens of text messages and three missed called from Bruce.

“What the fuck,” Y/N whispered as she started opening them.

But they were all about the same thing.

Everyone had sent her similar articles from various gossip websites or news outlets.

BRUCE WAYNE’S NEW GIRLFRIEND IS FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER Y/F/N Y/L/N

BRUCE WAYNE’S FLAVOR OF THE WEEK

IS Y/F/N Y/L/N USING THE PRINCE OF GOTHAM TO FURTHER HER CAREER?

All of the headlines were joined with photos of Bruce and Y/N having dinner last night. Apparently other customers at the restaurant had snuck photos of Bruce greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Y/N could see how it would be misinterpreted as romantic and not familial or platonic. But it still made her sick to see the photos twisted in such a way.

Then there were paparazzi photos of them getting in a car together. Of course there were none of Bruce dropping her off and them going their separate ways. That would be just too convenient for the two of them.

Y/N’s stomach dropped with panic.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she gasped without realizing it.

Jason immediately woke up. “What is it?”

Y/N ignored him and called Bruce.

“I’m handling it,” was how Bruce answered her call.

“Handling it? How exactly?” She challenged. “We can deny the rumors all we want. But everyone is going to keep tabs on us now, and they’re going to see us together again.”

Jason grabbed his own phone.

One of his brothers must’ve sent him a similar article because he rubbed his face in annoyance, finally understanding the situation.

Nothing like your girlfriend being rumored to have a relationship with her father, who was also your mentor and adoptive father.

“Y/N, it will blow over. It always does,” Bruce tried to calm her down.

“So what happens when I get photographed with Jason? Huh? They’re going to just say I’m cheating on both of you with each other or some fucked up shit like that.”

Bruce was silent, because they both knew she was right.

Y/N glanced at Jason, who was already waiting for her gaze.

She took in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe we should…Maybe we should just tell the truth.”

“You’ve never wanted that, Y/N.” Bruce tried to argue.

And he was right.

Y/N was terrified of being associated with the Wayne family. People would start believing she secretly built her career off of nepotism that no one was aware of. She also didn’t want that type of attention from the media and the upperclass of Gotham.

“I don’t think we have any other choice,” Y/N finally answered.

Jason reached for thigh and gripped it, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.

“Y/N, are you sure about this?” Bruce asked slowly.

“No. Not at all. But I’d rather not have the public think I’m dating my biological father.”

“OK,” Bruce sighed. “I’ll talk to my publicist today.”

“OK.” She bit her lip before adding. “Just…tell them the whole story.”

“Y/N, if you’re worried how it will make me look, don’t.”

“But I am worried about it, Bruce. They’re going to drag you for being an absent father. And none of that is true. They’re not gonna understand.”

“I’ll call you later with an update,” he told her softly before hanging up.

Y/N tossed her phone to the foot of the bed in frustration.

Jason watched as she buried her face in her hands.

“You OK?” He asked as he rubbed her back.

“No,” she answered honestly.

“Come here.” Jason pulled her into his chest.

There was no fight from her as he cuddled her tightly.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” she groaned into his shoulder.

“I know. But maybe it’s for the best,” he tried to reason with her.

“And what happens when they catch wind that I’m dating my father’s adoptive son? Huh?”

“We’re not actually related, Y/N.”

She pulled her face back so she could glare at him. “Yeah! We know that! But you do understand that people are going to see it that way, right? Like we’re gonna look like some fucked up incestual couple to them.”

“I don’t really care,” Jason finally told her.

“You don’t care?” She scoffed.

“No,” his answer and confidence didn’t waver. “I don’t give a fuck what people say about us, Y/N. If exposing the truth means we don’t have to think twice about going to events or even just going out to dinner, then I’m all for it. I’m sick of hiding our relationship.”

Y/N blinked. She never considered that their subtle relationship bothered him in any way. She was always a strangely private person, so it felt normal to her. But clearly Jason had been wanting to be a bit more public with their relationship.

“What if this changes everything?” Y/N whispered, not meeting his eyes.

Jason smirked at that and gripped her chin, lifting it up so she would look at him. “Some paparazzi and trash tabloids aren’t going to change how I feel about you, Y/N.”

Y/N laughed lightly at that.

“Maybe we should leave Gotham for a bit,” she offered. “Bruce won’t shut up about paying for a vacation for us.”

Jason nodded. “I think that sounds like a good idea. You’ve needed a break for awhile now.”

“Well…where do you wanna go?” Y/N asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me. As long as you’re there.”

She rolled her eyes and hit Jason in the face with a pillow. “God, you really are a sap.”

Y/N appreciated Jason always being able to make her feel better and feel supported.

But even he couldn’t stop her from wondering...

What would life be like as a Wayne?

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Father of Mine – Bonus Content

#father of mine bonus content #father of mine #bruce wayne x daughter #bruce wayne x daughter!reader #father!bruce wayne #dad!bruce wayne #dad!batman #batdad #jason todd x reader #jason todd reader insert #red hood reader insert #red hood x reader #batfam #batboys

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lov3nerdstuff · 3 years

Text

Virtual Strangers {Part 2}

*Tom Hiddleston x reader*

Parts: 2/10

Words: 6.3k

Summary: When you first replied to a stray text message that was accidentally sent to you from an unknown number, you couldn't have known who the virtual stanger on the other end was, or would be. You couldn't have known that he was soon to become your very best friend and steady companion. You couldn't have known that you would fall for him quite as deeply as you did. You couldn't have known. After all, you had never even seen a glimpse of each other, nor heard the other's voice. You only ever conversed through text messages, even if you did so every day and every night. You couldn't have known that you would fall for a stranger, who you knew even better than yourself. Even if you did not know his name. Yet there is another question that remains unspoken: If you really are best friends and even live in the same city, why does he not want to meet you in person?

~virtual strangers to friends to lovers~

A.N.: What exactly are you getting from this story, you ask? An online friendship-turned-romance? Check. Flirting via texts? Check. Annoyed yet overly supportive publicist and friend Luke? Check. Literary references to classical literature and plays? Check. Bobby being adorable and a valid character in the story? Check. Just the right twinge of angst? Check. Humour? Check. Fluff? Check. Super long chapters because I just can't be bothered to keep it short? Hell yeah.

Find Part 1 here! All Parts can be found on my Masterlist!

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When you woke up to the blaring sound of your alarm, you couldn't help inwardly cursing yourself for always staying up so bloody late. When you grabbed your phone from the nightstand to turn the annoying sound off however, your barely open eyes fell upon the little icon telling you that you had received a new message, and your mind finally caught up again with the reason for your staying up late. The texts exchanged with T, the discussion about Shakespeare… The best conversation you'd had in forever. Blinking, you felt more awake in an instant as you sat up in your bed, rubbing your tired eyes before you finally opened the messaging app with a smile on your face.

T: 'I am very glad to have made your bad day a little bit better; that might just be my only true accomplishment of the day. Or the only one that matters, at least. Believe it or not, I was also not having the best night before I happened upon you, and I would be a fool to deny that our conversation has thoroughly turned my week around. I am very inclined to keep on talking, or rather writing to you, Y/n. After all, we haven't even started on the Sonnets yet ;) But for now, indeed, let that be goodnight.'

Your smile turned just a tad brighter while you read the message a second time, just to make sure your sleep fogged brain hadn't misinterpreted anything. But no, the meaning was still the same: T had enjoyed your conversation quite as much as you had, and he wasn't opposed to keeping on texting about sundry and the world. Well, about Shakespeare and literature. But that was what you had connected over after all, and the prospect of actually having someone to share your thoughts on the matter with was exciting enough to keep the smile on your face even as you crawled out of the comfort of your bed to get ready for the day.

It was only when you stuffed your laptop back into your work bag and put on your coat and shoes that the smile was slowly replaced by a frown. Would you come off as a creep if you texted back right away? As desperate or annoyingly clingy perhaps? Should you wait until tonight, or even worse, until another day before sending another message? Gods, those were questions people would usually ask themselves when it came to dating, not casual intellectual encounters with virtual strangers. But you couldn't help feeling torn about what to do, and that didn't change even in the slightest during your hasty commute to work. Hadn't T said he wasn't much of a texting person anyway? Just because he wanted to keep talking to you didn't automatically mean he would want to keep constantly talking to you, like you had done last night. But you really didn't want to wait half a week to say the exact same things you would much rather just say right away. So it was either suppressing the surprisingly strong impulse to talk to him now to be safe in terms of social standards, or to go for it and possibly upset him. Ugh… You didn't know what to do. Only five minutes prior to your seminar, you finally got a grip on yourself and decided to test the waters of the new day with something short and innocuous.

Y: 'I'm glad to hear that I made your evening a bit better as well! I hope you've still managed to reach out to the guy you originally meant to text nonetheless, by now. I'll just assume he didn't want to talk Sonnets with you then, seeing as that honour's been left to me ;) have a nice day!'

That was inconspicuous, yet prompting enough to allow a conversation to start into either direction, should T fancy to pick it up from here. This would have to do, for now. Right? Or should you make it clearer that you would enjoy his virtual company even on a more… constant basis? Geez, you were just being too much again. Like always. But you still felt somewhat proud of yourself for being clingy with your new acquaintance without sounding clingy, and in the contentment of that knowledge you slipped your phone into your bag for the time being and finally started your class.

… … …

Tom woke up to the seemingly incessant sound of his phone vibrating on his wooden nightstand, ringing harshly in his ears like a chainsaw in the process of demolishing his entire bedroom. A low growl started somewhere deep in his chest long before he was able to phrase any actual words of vain protest, and when thought became a possibility at last, he wondered who on earth would wake him up this bloody early. He usually was an early riser by nature, so if something or someone woke him up before his time, it logically had to be at a crazy hour still. Only that he'd made those calculations under the premise that he went to bed at a reasonable hour, and since last night had been anything but reasonable, the glimpse at the time he got when he unlocked his phone all but woke him up the remaining bit. Ten o'clock and counting… well, fuck.

With a groan he dropped his phone onto his bed and removed himself from the very piece of furniture simultaneously, hurrying first to the bathroom, then the wardrobe and finally down the stairs into the open hallway where Bobby was already waiting by the door with a reproachful glance up at his master.

"I know I know, I'm sorry!" Tom sighed defeatedly while he tried to somehow put on his shoes and clasp the leather leash onto his impatient companion's collar at once. Half a minute later they were out the door and on their way to the park, all as ever, only a good two hours later than was usual for off-work days. What a great start to the day… Tom scoffed quietly and shook his head to himself. At least Bobby seemed to have forgiven him for the delay as soon as they'd been outside, but his own mind was still on edge nevertheless. Did he have any meetings or tasks scheduled for today? No, nothing that he knew of. That was something, at least. He would have to check his phone that was still buried deeply somewhere under his sheets once he returned home nonetheless, in case Luke had called, but otherwise he would have the day off.

Speaking of his phone… now that he had the time to think about it, he wondered whether you had sent him a new message already, or if perhaps you weren't that kind of person at all. The kind who grew instantly and overly attached to the few select people who had managed to catch your interest, to the point of wanting to give them an infinite amount of attention and hoping for much the same in return. The kind he knew himself to be. Would you be like that as well? Or were you someone who texted casually with some dozen people at once, replying to some messages and to others not, always a couple of days in between? Tom found himself hoping for the former, but feared that it would rather end up being the latter.

Oh well… At least he wasn't so far gone in the haze of fame that he expected everyone and anyone to reply to him immediately all the time just because he supposedly was someone. No, he knew enough people who acted like that, and he never ceased to be repelled by such behaviour. For him, it was more of a deeply rooted wish to be thought of, to not be forgotten. To mean something to someone, not to be someone to others. So if you hadn't replied by the time he got home, he would force himself to accept that and adapt to your pace of conversation instead. He didn't know a thing about texting, after all… Perhaps it would be a good thing to let you take the lead.

That in return gave him all the more reason to smile when he finally did check his phone upon his arrival at home, to find not one, but two new messages from you. (And he also found the inevitable text from Dave that there was no news on the script yet, but in the light of hearing from you again, Tom found himself almost alright with the lack of progress at the work front for once.) Thus smiling to himself, he now made his way into the kitchen for some much needed tea and breakfast, and finally opened the messaging app.

Tom let out a huff in amusement at the thought of talking Shakespeare with Dave… what a crazy idea. But he found it remarkable that you even cared about whether or not he had still gotten a hold of the right person after all. That, much like your first few replies last night, spoke of at least some kind of interest in his person beyond just his opinion on old tomes, right? Tom found himself oddly excited by that possibility, as if it was some kind of admirable achievement to be of interest to someone just by being his own silly self, not because he was who he was in public. He shook the thought out of his head for now and made himself go on to read the second message you had sent. That one was only from half an hour ago, and he instantly felt guilty for failing to reply to your first message sooner than that.

Y: 'I mean, we don't have to talk about Sonnets, if you'd rather not… Even though you suggested it yourself, so why wouldn't you want to talk about them, right…? Gah, I'm sorry, I'm just awkward when I'm not sure what to do. I really want to talk to you more, but I also really don't want to annoy you by sending you random messages like this one right here without being asked to or having any reason other than simply wanting to. You'd think someone close to a PhD would know how to handle that, but I realize that I just sound absolutely stupid at the moment, so I'll just shut up now. Sorry.'

While your text made Tom chuckle in amusement, he also couldn't deny that he'd had some of the very same thoughts on his walk with Bobby just before, and that hearing these concerns from you now was oddly relieving in return. Perhaps you were just like him after all… the kind of person who poured themselves into their choices way too quickly, and way too thoroughly. For common standards, at least. Before overthinking things again, he quickly went to type a reply at long last.

T: 'Good morning, Y/n. Or rather, almost good noon! I apologise for not replying any sooner, my morning turned out to be unexpectedly stressful. I really didn't mean to give you the impression that you were annoying me, not at all. On the contrary, I was having very much the same concerns about possibly bothering you if I just texted you out of every whim or fancy I have as you apparently did. People have been telling me for ages that I tend to be too much when I'm not careful to hold back, that intensity and depth of character aren't socially acceptable, that my interest and attention are perceived as exhausting and overwhelming. Perhaps some of the same things have been said to you before as well? I wouldn't know, and you certainly don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But perhaps we can settle this uncertainty on either end by saying that neither will annoy the other by being intense, or random, or truthfully ourselves. Isn't that why we ended up talking quite so deeply and passionately about literature last night in the first place, because neither of us can be like that elsewhere, with anyone else? Perhaps we can allow ourselves to be like that with each other. Would that be alright?'

When Tom read over his message another time before sending it, he realized that it had gotten both quite a bit longer and quite a bit more personal than intended. But it still felt just right like that, ridiculously right even to be himself and forward with his own thoughts for once, and changing anything about the message would only defy the meaning and purpose of everything he had just typed out in the first place. Being truthful without precautions. So he got over his insecurity and hit send in the same determination he had reasoned himself into last night already; with you, he would be himself. He would be T, and the prospect of that alone made him smile to himself yet again. This whole thing was only difficult if he made it to be. And for once, he wouldn't. In that knowledge he dropped his phone on the counter, and finally went to prepare an early lunch instead of breakfast. After all, he could have his tea with that as well.

… … …

You had just talked yourself out of your repeated pattern of reminding yourself that you had made a complete tart out of yourself with your messages to T, when finally your phone's noisy ping made both you and the professor whose office you shared jump out of your seats. The elderly man shot you a mean glare from across the room before returning to his work, while you however just released a low breath and set your phone on mute as quickly as possible. Thank the gods that your colleague had already condemned you anyway, right from the moment he'd been told you would be sharing his office, but that way you at least didn't have to worry about keeping up a reputation with him now.

Your train of thoughts came to a sudden halt when you finally opened the messaging app to read the message T had just sent, and with every word you took in your smile broadened and your day brightened in return. How could coincidences be crazy like that, to let you meet someone who was saying exactly what you were thinking? What were the odds that you would encounter the first and only person to have no problem with your truthful self at all, through a wrong bloody phone number?! It didn't matter… You just felt relieved, and excited about the prospect of being able to speak (or write) your mind whenever you felt like it now. Somehow, you had an inkling that you wouldn't just be talking about Shakespeare after all… Not when you obviously had quite a bit more in common than just your interest for literature. With the lingering smile on your face, you went to reply.

Y: 'That would be more than just alright, T. I'm very happy about this, you should see my stupidly excited face! I've never met someone who also has been told these things, to stop being passionate about matters and instead sit down quietly like a good girl (or boy, I guess). It's both relieving and sad to know that you have gone through that as well. We shouldn't have to hide like that… But I guess we can just let it all out on each other now ;) That sounds great, to be honest. And as far as a stressful morning goes, I do absolutely understand and I'm very much with you on that. I've had an hour-long debate with the printer and the WiFi, and then the bloody coffee maker died on me just out of solidarity with them. By now I believe technology has declared war on me today.'

This time around, it only took him roughly five minutes to answer you, and you had your phone on hand again in an instant.

T: 'I've heard numerous stories of both good people and good printers losing their fight to the unconquerable entity of the mighty WiFi. And your coffee maker sounds like an arse just for betraying you; perhaps try with tea next time, it is said to be a rather loyal companion in dark times.'

You let out an unintentional snort, unable to keep from grinning to yourself even as you felt a fair of eyes mustering you in annoyance from the other end of the room. Shaking your head to yourself, you let work be work and focused on texting back for now instead.

Y: 'You sound terribly British even for a Brit (which I will just assume you are), you know that? I bet you're having your baked beans and eggs on toast with your Earl Grey as a proper early luncheon right now. Probably reading the morning paper all the while?'

T: 'How did you know that? Am I that predictable to you already? ;)'

With the text, he had sent a picture of a wooden table set with precisely the foods and items you had previously described, all neatly arranged to make a rather pretty ensemble. Your lips parted in amusement, and you let out half of a laugh while you replied right away.

Y: 'I believe you’ve just made my day yet again, T… That's actually hilarious, impeccable timing, beautifully set and all. Should I better get used to odd coincidences when it comes to you?'

T: 'Actually, my life is usually rather void of unpredictable circumstances and thus severely lacking any coincidences. Must be entirely your doing, my dear.'

Y: 'There's always more than one party involved in coincidences, and that in return makes for the unpredictable circumstances ;) Haven't you learned about models of communication in whatever degree it is you have quite obviously studied?!'

T: 'I have a degree in classics, actually. Hardly any communication involved in that ;)'

Y: '...A classics degree literally is the study of old languages and cultures, T! I know that as well as you obviously do, seeing as I can spot your sarcasm from miles away right now, and probably also because I sit across the hall from the guys in our own classics department every day.'

T: 'You do?'

Y: 'Yes, well… Classics and English Lit are basically hallmates here at uni. I work for the literature department at one of the colleges while writing my dissertation. Gotta pay for the bloody thing after all, and somehow also stay on top of the bills. You'll already know that, but London really isn't the cheapest place to be living. At least I'm almost done with my doctorate.'

T: 'So that's why you have such an extensive knowledge about literature! I had a vague idea after last night that you might actually be an expert in the field after all ;) I assume you teach as well then, besides doing your research?'

Y: 'Yep… Just undergrad level classes though, which honestly aren't the greatest joy to go through. Usually, there are subzero chances to have a proper discussion about anything other than people's grades.'

T: 'Well, I will do my utmost to be an acceptable surrogate for that vacancy then :) I haven't studied literature in such a scientific regard for too long myself, but I believe we made do with my own, different perspective just fine yesterday.'

Y: 'You aren't just any surrogate, T! If I wanted to hear a scientific opinion I could go two doors down the hall from where I sit and bore myself to death with my colleagues who have read roughly the same texts I have. It would be clinical and technical and without any passion, and more about the work for work's sake than about the subject for its own value. I believe you know what I mean. So you will also have to believe me that I appreciate your specific take and perception way more than any other, scientific or not. On my end we're equals: either both experts, or both idiots. That's your choice ;)'

T: 'I think we have sufficiently proven by now that we can be both at once, and that is something I find rather brilliant. It's a quality I see far too rarely in people. Being an adult these days means being expected to be intelligent, competent and polite in a variety of settings, but for a great deal of people that translates to being restrained, shallow and passionless, or straight out boring in all regards of life. There's nothing wrong with being silly sometimes, or with taking chances just because they might end up being worth it.'

Y: 'Chances like replying to a stray text from a stranger out of an impulse, only to end up finding out that you have more in common with them than with any of your other acquaintances?'

T: 'Yes, that makes for a perfect example ;) And just out of curiosity, do you have many acquaintances to keep up with? I need to know how much of your time I may monopolise, after all ;)'

Y: 'Very funny, T… And no, I don't, actually. I have a few colleagues I sometimes (rarely) tag along with when invited, but otherwise I am best acquainted with my work. It's a vicious circle, really… I work too much because I don't have any friends, and I have no friends because I work too much. So do feel free to monopolise as much of my time as you fancy, it will be most appreciated. How about you?'

T: 'Much the same for me, I'm afraid. I usually am rather busy with work, there's no telling around it… But I do tend to push it to the limits as well, simply because I have little else to do. My acquaintances are usually colleagues in one way or another, and even though I do have a couple hundred of those, I would consider very few of them my friends.'

Before you could reply that you knew the feeling, or wonder how someone could have a couple hundred acquaintances, he sent a second message right after to follow up the first.

T: 'There is someone very special in my life though; my darling and best friend, the reason I get up in the morning and the cause of my delight and despair at once. Someone you will inevitably have to share me with, because he tries incessantly and as hard as he can to monopolise my time indeed.'

You frowned to yourself at the text, feeling both confused and desperately curious just by the way he had phrased that statement. But most of all you found yourself surprised by the fact that you hadn't even considered if T was in a relationship or not. Perhaps even married, with a kid or two! Who knew, after all… And obviously, that special someone in his life was a he as well. Not that you minded in the least, but you still felt like you had missed a crucial detail to see the whole picture, because somehow it didn't make sense. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you decided to just go for it and ask.

Y: 'So… you're gay? Or you have a flatmate you're very fond of? Living with a brother, or a son, perhaps?'

T: 'No, yes, and not quite ;)'

With that text and before you could further wonder about its crypticism, he sent you a picture of a dark brown Cocker Spaniel who looked up into the camera with curious eyes while lolling around the leg of the same wooden table you'd seen in the picture before. You instantly started smiling down at your phone with heart eyes, and couldn't help the 'aww' on your lips even though you still weren't alone in the office. You didn't even care as you kept on smiling at the picture; what a cutie!

T: 'This is him, the best friend I have ;) But I think he wouldn't be opposed to some competition from you when it comes to monopolising my time.'

You let out a snort, then shook your head to yourself. So T had a dog… and he wasn't gay. You could work with that information; it fit the puzzle a whole lot better than the other options you had briefly considered.

Y: 'Aahh he is adorable! I have a great fondness for dogs, if they are friendly to me as well :) What's his name? Or can you not tell me that either?'

T: 'Well, if I'm T, then he's B. Can you live with that without being too disappointed by my continuing secrecy?'

Y: 'It's alright… He's adorable after all, so I'll let it slip for his sake ;) Tell B my sincerest thanks, then, for allowing me to steal some of your time from him.'

T: 'Will do. His preferred method of payment is either doggy treats or belly rubs, both to be supplied in sufficient amounts of course. I will compensate him in your stead, if you fancy.'

Y: 'Very much so, I would hate for your best friend to be cross with me after all. And I'm used to having to pay for attention and affection, so that is quite alright.'

The moment you hit send, you realized how terribly wrong what you had written might sound to some minds, and you quickly sent a second message with a roll of your eyes directed at yourself, while the inevitable heat crept up your neck in an instant.

Y: 'Obviously I didn't mean LITERALLY paying for affection, in the way some certain people do, in some certain places… That all came out so wrong, oh god. Aaaaand I'm positively mortified.'

T: 'Please don't be, dear. I didn't believe you were implying anything like that, don't worry ;) But what exactly are you trying to say?'

Y: 'Well, I just meant that it isn't news to me that I have to compensate people somehow for the attention and kindness they show me. Like… When an acquaintance sits with me during lunch, I do some of their work for them later. When they have a longer chat with me at the pub, I pay for their drinks. When they invite me along to go out, I watch over their stuff while they dance. Things like that. You know, the usual. But I was just joking when applying it to B just now, I trust him not to make me pay for you being nice to me.'

T: 'Hold on, I'm confused… Do you really do all these things, and do you do them because you want to be kind, or because you think they are expected of you?'

Y: 'What an odd question… in an interesting way, I mean. Yes, I really do those things for the few acquaintances I have. But let's start with the first part: Of course I want to be kind, and I try to be whenever I can. I think it is important to repay kindness with kindness, because you want to preserve it. Like watering a plant instead of plucking its flowers. Now for the second part: I know for a fact that these things are expected of me. Whenever an acquaintance of mine spends some time with me outside of the mandatory work talk, I will find some of their work to be done on my desk later, or they will hand me the bill at the end of the evening, or I'm told to watch over their things because I don't dance anyway (even though I do dance… They just never asked me to.) So really, kindness has nothing much to do with it, it's just a simple trade. Don't you do that with your acquaintances as well?'

T: 'Working from the bottom up: No, I don't. Usually I know even the most rudimentary acquaintanceships to work based on kindness and mutual interest or respect for each other rather than paid trading. I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through such trades to get someone to spend time with you; I can only hope to assure you that it had nothing to do with you as a person. You are absolutely lovely just as you are, and I can indeed say that because as little as I might yet know about you, I still am getting a pretty good idea of WHO YOU ARE just by having talked to you for a few hours now. And I think they make you pay for their time and attention, simply because you let them. You are kind, and willing to be kind to them to a degree they clearly don't deserve. I'm admittedly not a fan of Freud and his theories (should you be familiar, which I am very sure you are, you will know why), but I think he might've been onto something when he said that the average person will take advantage of their neighbours if given the chance to justify it to themselves. And your willingness to trade kindness for their time and attention obviously was a good enough justification for them to make it a trade. I assume that this isn't what you originally meant when you said to repay kindness with kindness though, is it?'

Y: 'Not really, no. But I do think you're right about my acquaintances, and why they do what they do… They likely don't deserve my kindness, and I certainly shouldn't trade it for their attention. It has just become a habit by now, one I was only vaguely aware of until I just put it into words for you. I guess I better shall try to break with it, if you can already spot it after a few minutes of hearing me babble. But then again, I also think that being kind to someone who doesn't deserve or warrant your kindness at all is the greatest act of strength a person can deliver. Though I have to admit that while sometimes I'm strong by that definition, other times I'm clearly not. In that sense I both admire and pity those poor people who live a public life, like politicians, celebrities, athletes and so on. They have no choice but to either be incessantly kind to everyone all the time, or to be shunned by the world for being human like the rest of us.'

T: 'You would be surprised by how many famous people are kind simply and only because it is expected of them, and only while they are standing in front of the cameras and audiences. But even those who seem honestly kind and caring by nature reach a point where it's all nothing more than smoke and mirrors, no matter how much they would want to be sincere in it. In a way, they also pay for attention with kindness, now that I think about it. A habit as well. It's kind of disappointing, isn't it? To be disillusioned like that.'

Y: 'Why would it be? Not even the kindest person on earth could possibly be kind to everyone all the time, and they shouldn't be either.'

T: 'What makes you think that?'

Y: 'If you are trying to always be kind to everyone, you ultimately forget to be kind to the most important person of them all, namely yourself. Being kind means giving, and even if occasionally you are given a little kindness in return, you can only keep on giving for so long without running empty. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to be kind to yourself, and to protect yourself by not giving all you have. To not let yourself run empty.'

T: 'But what if you gain more from the act of giving than what you lost through it in the first place?'

Y: 'But is it still kindness then that makes you give, or isn't it much rather love?'

T: 'That… is an incredibly fascinating thought. So much so that I don't quite know what to say. I agree, I assume… I know I do, for I know that I want to. Perhaps kindness IS a way of loving, in the end, or at least they come together in their selflessness.'

Y: 'In Blake's words, your argument stands… ›Love seeketh not itself to please, / Nor for itself hath any care, / But for another gives its ease, / And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.‹ … and in Blake's words, your argument falls. ›Love seeketh only self to please, / To bind another to its delight, / Joys in another's loss of ease, / And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite.‹'

T: 'Yet, isn't that quite the ambivalence we have been talking about this entire time? An impossible balance of two sides that are still of the one same essence. The same thing, changed to opposites by disposition… One is bred of innocence, one of experience; both important themes for Blake, as you probably know. He applies it to love right here, but we might just say the same thing for kindness. Innocence, to be taken as selflessness, is which makes of kindness the act of strength; its goal only to be found in itself. Experience, therefore to be taken as selfishness, makes of kindness a tool to achieve one's end through bargain or deceit. The difference lies not in the outcome for the other, but in the strength it takes to stay innocent in the self.'

Y: 'Now YOU are the one who renders me speechless, T… That is an incredibly clever line of argumentation! And you even backed up my previous argument with it, so thank you for that ;)'

T: '...I did? How so?'

Y: 'Hehe… You thought it disappointing and disillusioning that people (regardless of who they are) eventually cease to be kind out of sincerity, and go over to pretense. But your entire line of argument just proved that it's a deeply human flaw, and one of circumstance rather than of character: if your strength runs out, you lose your innocence, and you thereby lose the sincerity in your kindness. And if you scroll back up a bit, you will find my elaboration on running empty eventually if you give too much of your kindness to others without getting enough back. Equal up kindness and strength, and you have just proven my argument ;)'

T: 'Oh dear… I didn't even notice I had come around to your side. You are too clever for me, Y/n.'

Y: '...says the guy who used Blake's thematic categories to build a flawless line of argumentation while I merely stated my opinion…'

T: 'You started with Blake.'

Y: 'I only quoted Blake, you started with the interpretation of his themes. Now stop talking yourself out of this and accept that you are really quite brilliant, T! You can't hide that from me, you know ;)'

T: 'Ehehe… Coming from you, I will take that as a sincere compliment. Thank you.'

Y: 'Of course it's a sincere compliment, you nut! I'm not spilling my life's flaws in detail to you only to then lie to you in empty phrases. Besides, I could be way more creative than that if I intended to be insincere.'

T: 'I have no doubt about that. And I have no doubt about your sincerity either, which is a most welcome change for me. It's never that easy, especially not with the job I do. Speaking of work, I'm not keeping you from yours, right? I am having a rare day off for once, as you might have guessed from the luncheon, and that has rather led me to forget that you actually might still have to attend to your work nonetheless.'

Y: 'It's perfectly fine, I'm in no hurry to be doing anything specific today, I'm weeks ahead of what I ought to do… That's the advantage of doing little besides working all day, every day. You get quite far ahead. Besides, even if I end up being busy at times, feel free to talk to me nonetheless if you feel like it. I'll reply when I can ;)'

T: 'I will remember that and most likely make use of it before I can help myself :) Please, feel free and welcome to do the same. (Just don't be surprised, I am sometimes kept busy and without a cellphone for many hours on end. It comes with the job, which can be both a curse and blessing.) Do you have classes to give today?'

Y: 'Yeah, I had one at eight and will have another at two.'

T: 'Two in the afternoon? Today…?'

Y: 'Yes?'

T: 'I don't mean to impose, but that's in five minutes. Have you lost track of time? (I really can't blame you; I can't quite believe that it's already gotten so late myself.)'

Y: 'Ahh fuck, no no no… Alright, I got to go. Run, actually. I'll talk to you later! Go give B some attention ;)'

T: 'Will do. He will be delighted to go for another stroll in the rain, I'm sure. You enjoy your class, and if I don't drown in the meantime, I will talk to you later indeed.'

______________________________

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@cosmicsoulsandstardust @lucywrites02 @karushinekomiya @hockeysweaterweather @felicityofbakerstreet @sergeantbuckybarnes @ravennight41 @eprilin @livvpl107 @mirrorelm2944 @aestheticallyholland @elaisa-greens

General Tags:

@wegingerangelica @dreary-skies-stuff @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929 @iamverity @leahs-reading-nook @akk4rin @whitewolfandthefox @stuckupstucky @delightfulheartdream @hayalee8 @lemonmochitea @thelittlepug @beenthroughalot

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x y/n #loki #loki fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel actors #virtual strangers #tom hiddleston fandom #marvel

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stormblessed95 · 3 years

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Hi,Storm! Sorry to bother, but I really have something that’s been on my mind about jikook for some time. You know, I’be been an army for more then two years, and a jikooker as well. I’m not an adult( almost 15) but I like to think of myself as someone who has an open mind. Now, since I know Jikook for a long time, I have come across multiple people, videos, opinions, proof or not etc.etc. The thing is, sometimes I get in kind of head space we’re I’m thinking “And if they are not real? Then what?” (Please don’t misinterpret this. I don’t stan BTS because of Jikook or will stop doing so if they are a real couple.) And the thing is, when I think about this, and maybe this will sound selfish, I get sad... i don’t know why, but they became such a normal, day to day, ‘real’ thing to me, that imagining them not being together somehow breaks my heart. And then I think, “Stop being so selfish, it’s not that deep” and I constantly scold myself for felling sad. The thing that I actually wanted to ask you is, when you see certain moments(like when they were younger, in an interview, they were asked who would they introduce their little sister if they had one too, and jungkook said jimin, cause he think he will act good with his girlfriend) that maybe make you question their ‘reality’, or if you actually have certain moments that make you feel that way. Also, I will like your thoughts on how do you cope with the thought that they might not be true.. I’m sorry if I sound delulu or mean..but I really feel sad when I think about them not being together, and then I feel bad because of that feeling. Again, I would never become a hater just because my ship doesn’t come out real, but I want to know your opinion! Hope you see this and thank you!😊

Hello! I've been seeing you pop up in my notifications all the time working your way through my masterlist. So glad to see you in my inbox now 💜

1. You don't sound delulu or mean. You sound sincere in your worries and your question. Thank you for that 😊

2. No, I haven't really had any moments that made me go "this definitely makes me think they aren't a couple." For your example, JK for one, doesn't actually have a sister. Lol but regardless, they were asked a very heteronormitive question in a very conservative country. Was he supposed to say "not Jimin because he is gay," because I don't think that would have gone over well. Lol and he was basically just saying that Jimin would be a really good boyfriend, would treat his future girl (or partner) right and be good to them. And not to mention, JK himself was a minor during that time period and I don't think they were anything more than friends at that time either anyway.

3. It's fair to be sad if it turns out they are not a couple. Your feelings are your own and are valid. What it comes down to is WHY you feel the way that you do. Something to consider. Perhaps we are too invested and need to take some steps back? Perhaps we need to just remind ourselves of boundaries needed as a fan, that we aren't their friends. That we only see such a small part of their lives. It's important to remember that we love them for who they are, and if they are happy, no matter who it's with, that's all that should really matter. Also if they aren't boyfriends, I won't lie, I would be.... very confused. Lol but not my life, not my business is what it basically comes down to. And if they are just friends, well that wouldn't change how much I love them as people and how much I love their bond together. It wouldn't make their moments fake or no longer valid and there. Their friendship and the love they clearly have for each other would still be something to be admired and enjoyed. 🥰

4. *hides at the reminder of minors on my blog* I promise I keep it in mind but it's always a shock when one of you reminds me of it 😅 thank you for being here and for your question! I wish I could do or say more to help, but hopefully this answered you at least a little bit! Hope you have a wonderful day! 💜

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aquilaofarkham · 3 years

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title: the little death rating: T+ word count: 2,409 summary: Two years after his fight with Death, Trevor’s injuries start catching up to him while Alucard realizes that humans are more fragile than he thought.

For @trevorsmellmont ❤️ Thank you so much for commissioning me!

READ HERE

There’s a sharp pain pooling beneath his right arm, coursing through his ribcage. Trevor ignores it just as he’s ignored all the other aches, jabs, and stings over the past two years. Two years of building something better, something sustainable to last far longer than its young, admittedly green founders. Countless days, weeks, and months erecting homes, gardens, and pens for those dumb gentle animals who think the entire townscape is their personal pasture. Not another mistake of allowing them to wander aimlessly straight into the castle. As if heifers need to learn how to craft medicine or conduct what’s being referred to as “electricity”.

The work will never be finished. Even on days like this when the sun burns hotter than any circle in hell. A few drops of warm salt-ridden sweat crawl past Trevor’s pressed lips and into his dry mouth. Pain and thick heat were never enough to stop him before—he tells himself this, barely certain of his own supportive thoughts (a new concept taking root in his mind). Take it slow, don’t push yourself, idiot. This cabin made from the earth will get built eventually. Another family will receive their forever home to fill with lots of babies. Old wounds beg to differ as Trevor’s arms begin to weaken, each movement slower than the last, struggling to keep up with Greta’s superior pace. She’s always known her way around a mallet.

Another bead of sweat gets caught in Trevor’s lashes, sparing his eyes from temporary discomfort. Though it wouldn’t have mattered as they’re already past any sort of respite. He looks for distraction but can only see the blurred shapes coming from a huddle of bodies, despite being a short distance from them. He knows it’s only Sypha and Alucard with the village children, which gives Trevor some relief.

There’s more comfort to be felt when he remembers that one of those little monsters is his own, nestled in Sypha’s lap then placed in Alucard’s gentle arms. She has a name far too long for any toddler to pronounce—Elizabeta Belnades Tepes Belmont—so what rolls off her developing tongue instead is simply “Liza”. She’s innocent now but once she leaves this little man-made paradise and ventures into a harsher world, she will take more after her mother and father. Grabbing whatever life offers with both fists, clawing and biting her way through every obstacle until her teeth are reddened with bloody meat. For the time being, they relish Liza’s soft cheeks, wispy hair, and the way she throws herself at whichever adult happens to be in her nearest vicinity. The other children are helping her socialize by playing games and embracing frivolity; a tactic Trevor remembers from his own upbringing, though with less games and even less frivolity.

“Think you can handle one or two more?”

Greta’s voice manages to cut through Trevor’s mental fog. Funny how she asks if he can “think” about anything especially at this suffocating moment. She must have noticed the way his lips curl into a happy doped up grin while observing his family and couldn’t help but inquire. As any close, loved and valued friend would.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“What’s wrong with looking a bit further into the future? Now that we all have one.”

“Looking is one thing, but seriously suggesting is something else completely. My… performance in certain areas isn’t as up to snuff as it used to be.”

As Trevor says this, things deteriorate and get a bit fuzzier from his eyesight down to his chest. Out of focus. Painful. He keeps talking, keeps ignoring the inevitable. Always ignoring what his own body screams for.

Greta wrinkles her nose at his statement. “There are children present, Belmont.”

“What? I’m referring to the house. I barely managed to get one wall up while you’re already on the fucking roof.”

“So dramatic. You three really do deserve each other. And you’re still young.”

“On the outside, maybe.”

She laughs at his lie, misinterpreting it as another piece of mild self-deprecatory banter he might never be able to live without. Greta says something else, perhaps her own personal jest to counter his, but Trevor cannot hear. Breath grows heavier, forcing out a raspy “it’s fine. It’s just my chest”. Barely able to tell if Greta actually said anything about his sudden condition. Or rather, not so sudden. No, this has been building over quite some time now. His muscles and bones screaming, begging for relief or death, and end to everything—whichever comes first. Feelings that only worsened over the years.

Trevor loses control over his legs, now practically boneless. The collision between his head and the ground is nothing compared to the inner war over his heart. Whether it will finally succumb. Greta immediately calls for help—he thinks without confidence, once again. Trevor can still hear voices, but not their exact words. Not Sypha when she demands to know what happened. Not Alucard when he begs for him to stay conscious. Not even Liza as she cries for her papa.

Then all the chaos in the world fades into slow darkness.

Alucard stands outside the closed bedchamber door, contemplating how often he’s touched Trevor’s body. Lithe fingertips have memorized every crevice, scar, soft and rough spots alike. Not just as a lover with wandering hands underneath blankets in the dead of night. Or a friend who holds him steady on both feet when he needs it. But as this family’s self-appointed physician.

Perhaps the prince of two worlds took after his father after all. “Polymath” is what Alucard used to describe Dracula and the very same word others have referred to him as, mostly in the realm of medicine. He knows more than anyone, little offence given towards the herb dispensers and leech farmers (only to be polite for his own townsfolk). Thus, through the anxieties and trembling hands, Alucard gave Trevor his diagnosis: heat exhaustion along with a muscle somewhere in his chest that decided to go rogue and strain itself.

The son of Tepes, the only local doctor worth trusting, and arguably the co-leader of their little prospering hamlet paces across the hall like Trevor did the day Liza was born. He’s on the other side of that closed door, resting. Bedridden from heat exhaustion and a fucking pulled muscle. It bothers Alucard. This shouldn’t have happened to someone who stood up to the personification of Death and pissed in his eye. A stupidly common and easily treatable inconvenience to the human body shouldn’t be the end of a fucking Belmont.

It shouldn’t—unless Trevor’s scars have anything to say about it. The ones on the inside and outside. Inside, unseen, and untreatable. There’s a harsh revelation to be found there; one which the prince has been purposefully avoiding up to this moment. Alucard can try as he wants, use the tools left behind by his father and mother as though it were their final death wish, but he might never tend to what pains Trevor on the inside. He’s a Belmont, undeniably so, but Belmonts are human despite the many recurring signs pointing to the contrary. Then there’s Sypha with her magic, but she’s human as well. Greta and Liza are still human. Humans are more susceptible to dying easy, little deaths even when they follow world-saving victories.

Where does this leave Alucard? Thoughts spiral down, down towards darker places the longer he nervously hovers outside the bedroom. He’s been known to awkwardly stumble into deflection, insisting he’s only half human whenever certain someones bring up this topic of necessary conversation. Meaning he might as well not be human at all. Not when the bodies of those he loves change so rapidly while his remains petrified. It’s only been two years, filled to the brim with countless hours he wouldn’t ever want to trade for the entire world. But the thought of one night as they nestle themselves into bed and Alucard touches either Trevor or Sypha’s chest only to feel an anomaly within their hearts. The earliest sign that time and age will eventually betray them as it does for all mortals—it could be the one thing to break him.

Alucard stops himself at the opportune moment, right before he starts thinking about his mother and father. Did Dracula ever contemplate Lisa’s mortality? Was the decision to never turn her easy or the hardest thing he forced upon his unstable, immortal conscience? Arms crossed over his chest like a protective cage, fingernails digging into the fabric of his shirt until it hurts, Alucard swallows a bitter glob of spit and reaches for the doorknob. Sypha will have to accept the fact that he couldn’t wait for her. He quietly thanks her for the lessons she taught him. If he needs to talk about something—truly talk, no sarcastic wit or banter, just the raw emotions—Alucard no longer hesitates. He won’t, not as he enters the room and immediately sees Trevor still in bed, not quite altogether there. At least he can manage a decent smile and wave of his hand.

“Evening.”

“How does your chest feel?”

“Still a bit tight, but I’ve been taking deep breaths like the doctor ordered.”

The amount of strain heard in Trevor’s voice worries Alucard. Hopefully the Belmont has learned something from the recent past, so he won’t be stupid and suggest anything having to do with leaving bed or getting back to work.

“I think I should get up.”

“I think that’s a poor decision.”

“Are you saying that as my physician or because you’re letting that pretty little blonde head of yours get too worked up?”

No. Yes. Both? If only Trevor didn’t look up at him with those glassy eyes (can he still see him?) the colour of stained glass windows erected in cathedrals he felt so unwelcome inside. If only that smile, somehow both soft and shit-eating, wasn’t in place of a more serious expression. Then maybe Alucard could voice his concerns without being accused of acting overbearing—an accusation grounded in solid evidence but he’s not ready to admit that yet. Not out loud.

“Normal, healthy adults do not become bedridden after pulling a small muscle in their chest.”

“Belmonts aren’t normal… or healthy in my case.”

Alucard’s brow furrows. “I want to think you’re healthy—” I need to. “—that you’ll live long enough to see the children of this village have little ones of their own. Liza included.”

“God’s sake, she’s only two years old. You and Greta, always talking about looking one step too far into the future. Let her be a child before adulthood rears its ugly maw.”

“Try not to change the subject.”

Trevor lifts his head off the indent pressed into his sweat drenched pillow. “Alright. Fine. I feel much better. I won’t push myself and give my heart some more time to recover.”

No response coupled with broken eye contact; sure signs of Alucard’s reluctance to accept his rather weak assurance. The Belmont has no other choice.

“Come here. Sit.”

Another moment’s hesitation before Alucard complies. Feeling his weight upon the mattress, Trevor blindly reaches for his wrist until calloused fingers grip cool, unblemished skin.

“Now lie down. No, no. Not like that. Place your head right here.” He pats his chest and with a fleeting amount of guidance, Alucard’s cheek fits perfectly between his breasts. Two hands smooth over the dhampir’s curves before one before one rests on his silk smooth head and the other against the small of his back. Alucard lied about one thing: his own body can change in small yet noticeable ways. Without the need to fight for the lives of others, whether today or tomorrow, sharp edges turn softer. Trevor and Sypha have finally let themselves breathe as well, let go, and enjoy all of life’s pleasures.

“Hear that?” He asks Alucard.

“... It’s slow.”

“Slow and strong like it should be.”

Alucard wishes he could bottle up that heartbeat or place it in a box. Preferably a music box to listen to its soothing melody long after its original body and soul are both eventually gone from this world. Who knows? It might make things hurt a little bit less like when he redrew his parent’s portrait or built a much larger nursery where his own used to be. Not a lot, but Alucard could possibly live with just “a little”.

“Speaking of Greta…” The baritone of Trevor’s voice sends deep vibrations through his broad chest, tickling Alucard’s cheek. “She said something about more children.”

“More orphans joining us?”

“No, even though I know how much you love those damn orphans. She asked if we could handle one or two more.”

“What did you say?”

“I implied that she was taking after Sypha’s influence by being wonderfully insane.”

Alucard chuckles in agreement. That sounds like Greta. “You never know. It might be good for Liza if she has a younger sibling.”

With the sound of Sypha’s well timed arrival, he’s mercifully saved from Trevor’s lengthy speech about how patience is apparently a virtue and tirades about his “performance” or lack thereof. Greta reveals herself shortly afterwards with a still crying Liza in tow. So many bodies gathered around one inebriated individual, here for him and him alone. Trevor’s consoled yet exasperated expression directed at Greta in particular says “isn’t there someone more important you could be helping right now?”

Sypha is the first to voice her gratitude after fussing over her exhausting loved one. “I will never be able to thank you enough, Alucard.”

“I think the bed did most of the heavy lifting, love.”

Trevor is given an affectionate, somewhat caring glare in response but his focus is demanded elsewhere once he suddenly notices Liza jumping onto the bed. She snuggles herself between him and Alucard, wetting their shirts with her tears.

“Easy there, you little monster. Papa’s still a bit tender.” Not that she can understand or care.

There’s an aura of relief felt amongst everyone in the room—less with Alucard who smiles bittersweetly. It’s a truth he knew he had to acknowledge before it tore his heart open. Trevor and Sypha will die one day and he will have to bury them. He’ll bury Greta, he might even bury Liza. Not today thank all the gods, or tomorrow, not for the next few decades if fate is kind enough.

But the day will come. And it will be Alucard’s own little death.

#castlevania #castlevania spoilers #castlevania fanfiction #trevor belmont #alucard #alucard castlevania #sypha belnades #greta danesti #trephacard #trevorcard #my writing #*cvfic

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seesgood · 3 years

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can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick? not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the disclaimer here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change. think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves.

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with.

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind.

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person.

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad.

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care.

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense.

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people.

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see.

#ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴛᴀʟᴋ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʀᴜʟᴇs ⸺ psa.#/ long post cw.#when i say long i mean LONG #i could do an entire dissertation on this #i could do a ted talk #but ys know #if anyone wanted to do some ahem non-light reading this morning #*jazz hands*#( if you want to reblog this monstrosity you definitely can )

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

Red Hood and the lost art of telling Joker to shup up.

Okay, I know that I talked about Jason and Joker in a recent post but this is something different, I promise.

I really want to talk about how different Jason has been written since UtRH when it comes to him confronting Joker. Jason hasn’t been put in that position a lot but the times that he has, he lets Joker talk for far too long and actually pays attention to whatever he has to say.

The Jason vs Joker thing is basic in on itself and letting Joker talk isn’t exactly the problem here, the real problem is Jason letting Joker’s thoughts shape his future thoughts and decisions, I do understand that that’s exactly what writers want though, they want to build the problematic of: “Jason is just like Joker and the fact that he uses the name Red Hood only proves that Joker made who Jason is now”.

But the thing is that THAT problem is overdone at this point and the only time it worked was the first time it was brought up and it worked because Jason shut the Joker down.

Let’s see all the times (that I remember) the Joker and Jason have had a little chat and/or the times Joker’s words actually influence Jason’s thinking and decision making.

Under the Red Hood – Batman (1940) #649

This is the first real confrontation we get to see between Jason and Joker after Jason’s death and it is beautiful. It's absolutely amazingly written, Joker goes on and on forever about how he killed Jason about how Jason is just as bad as him but that he is also just like Batman because he hasn’t killed him yet.

“You let me live after everything I did, you couldn’t pop my balloon. You just couldn’t. The apple doesn’t tumble too far from the paterfamilias. You are just like daddy-kins”

Jason lets him talk, yes. But he absolutely destroys Joker with what he tells him next.

“You couldn’t be more wrong about me. If right were a country on earth you’d be circling on the edge of the milky way. Yeah, I let you live but like always, every damned minute of your addled, posturing, psychopathic life, you think this is about you. You’re a worm. I’ve pitched you on a hook and dropped you into the brine. And I will beat the hell out of you Pagliacci because it was too much fun not to.”

“Listen to me Joker, I’m not you. I´m nothing like you. I know what I do and I know why I do it. You, you are, clinically speaking, a whack-job. But I know a secret, a good one.”

“You are not nearly as crazy as you would like us all to believe or even as crazy as you would like to believe. It just makes it easier to justify every sick monstrous thing you’ve ever done when you play the part of the mad clown. You are crazy, bubba, but you ain’t that crazy. Look at that. I wiped a smile off of Joker’s face. I have been waiting a long time for that.”

Everything about this is perfect, Jason gives Joker no room to mess with him. Whatever the Joker had planned on saying he had to eat because Jason wasn’t playing games and he was ready for any kind of lie the Joker had ready to tell. This is Jason Todd. He won’t let the Joker get under his skin because he knows the Joker and he, also, knows better.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #15

Here Jason comes across Joker during the “Death of the Family” event. In this issue the Joker has information about all of the members of the “Batfamily” and he uses that to mess around with each one of them, in Jason’s case he insinuates that he was present in very specific moments of his life when Jason’s father got shot, when his mother overdosed and when he was on his own before joining Batman.

Jason doesn’t quite believe that Joker was there but as the reader, we can see this sort of sense of doubt in Jason. He hesitates a few times before resolving that the Joker is playing with him.

But as far as this issue goes let’s just say that what the Joker says doesn’t get to Jason, this changes though in the issue that follows up this story.

Teen Titans (2011) #16

This is where that story continues and where Jason starts to buy the story that Joker is selling.

Joker convinces Jason that he has his father and Tim’s father and that the only way for Jason (or Tim) to save their dads is by killing the other (Jason or Tim). Tim doesn’t believe it but Jason is ready to shoot Tim almost immediately.

However, Jason changes his mind about killing Tim just as Tim comes up with a plan for them to not actually have to kill each other. Here is where Lobdell’s writing shows all of its flaws, Lobdell is so desperate to show that Jason and Tim are besties that he forgets that Jason had no reason to stop trying to kill Tim to save his shit father because it is later revealed that Jason truly believed that Joker had found his father and had him captive. It wasn’t until Tim explained his thought process as to why those men weren’t their dads that Jason just goes “you realize, of course, the only reason I didn’t kill you right off is that I knew your big brain will figure out some way out of this” HA, nice save Lobdell but I see right through your bullshit.

Jason bought what the Joker was selling and that is the beginning of Jason’s downgrade when it comes to not playing Joker’s games.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #17

Well, in this issue Lobdell goes back to Jason kinda not believing what Joker told him, and Jason asks Bruce of all people if he thinks the Joker truly “made him or not”. Bruce says that he doesn’t believe that and that he didn’t have anything to do with the man that Jason has become either. For some reason, Jason is actually happy with what Bruce said and for a couple of moments, Jason goes back to being sure that the Joker knows nothing and that he is his own man.

It doesn’t last long though. At the very end of the issue, the trap that Joker had set up in Jason’s helmet triggers and Jason gets his face fucked up with acid or something.

But that’s not all because a hologram of Joker has something to say: “you were supposed to be my masterpiece from start to finish. But you were too stubborn to stay dead. So here is what we are going to do… You’re so determined to be your own man? Fine, let’s start with a clean slate”.

Basically, the Joker insinuates once more that he had something to do with who Jason was supposed to become and that Jason isn’t truly “his own man”, This is all a setup for a very dense storyline that will be continued in this run later.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #18

In this issue, Jason is in a coma after he is dosed with that gas in the previous issue. The Joker isn’t really present in this issue but he does make an appearance as part of Jason’s “nightmare” while he is unconscious.

That’s not all though, Jason has an illusion of Ducra (someone that he appreciates a lot), telling him that “after you left the All-Castle after you went back to the world you continued to let your life be defined by the actions of that man. You became a killer, lashing out at people who may or may not have deserved it. Eventually, you will hurt all those you have cared for. In that way, how are you any different from the Joker?”.

In this statement, there is a lot of wrongs that can come from two places, either bad writing on Lobdell’s part or just Ducra telling lies as a plot point.

“Let your life be defined by the actions of that man” is a sentence that horribly simplifies Jason’s thinking during the events of UtRH, because while he did resent the Joker, his real problem was with Bruce who had not avenged his death by killing the Joker himself. Also, Jason was doing other things back then, like being a pain in the ass for Black Mask and disrupting the drug trade in Gotham as well as trying to control the drug dealing to children. So that little sentence is just a gross misinterpretation of the true events which means that Ducra was wrong, and “she” continues to be wrong when she says that there might be no difference between Jason and Joker.

Luckily Jason thinks the same because he tells “Ducra”: “…don’t you dare compare me to that monster Ducra. I am nothing like the Joker! Nothing!”

Once again please don’t be fooled by Jason’s thinking because in the next issue it turns around really fast and really bad.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #19

Just a heads up this issue has a change of writer, Lobdell isn’t writing this arc, the writer that gives us this hellish story arc is James Tynion IV.

All that talk about Jason not being affected or not believing what the Joker told him is yeeted out of the window and it’s not a fun ride.

In this issue, Roy and Kory find a Jason that doesn’t know who they are or who he, himself, is. This is because S’aru that little floaty little shit took his memories away after Jason asked him to do so, well Jason asked S’aru to erase every memory that darkness has touched (Joker) and he does that. But him doing that is apparently erasing everything which, holy shit, how messed up is that?

But let’s take a look at what Jason says before he gets his memories taken away: “Not only did the Joker almost take my face, but he tells me he might have manipulated my entire life from the beginning! Even the good is tainted by him now. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t have that kind of doubt. If you take it away, I can go on living. I can keep fighting”. So, yeah that was a pretty emo speech. But the thing here is that if Jason is asking this dude to erase every memory that has been tainted by the Joker and he erases all of them then we might be facing one of two situations, either Joker has been messing up with Jason’s life from the beginning or S’aru is just a little bitch.

We will later find out in #20 that S’aru and Ducra planned the whole thing, meaning that they took all of his memories for ulterior motives not because the Joker had actually tainted all of them.

For many issues Jason has no memories and now that I am revisiting these issues, I now remember the twisted and completely insane plot they came up with for the “League of Assassins” and Jason being the “Chosen One”, everything was happening in this run, my god, it's like they wanted Jason to be the center of every single trope in writing history.

It’s in issue #26 that Jason asks for his memories back but the Joker having tainted his memories or not isn’t important anymore to anyone, including the writer (because he is too focused on telling this messy story), Jason (because he has enough problems at the moment) and the reader (because this book makes zero sense and it changes the story and motivations every single issue).

But there is another truth to be revealed in the next issue.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #27

Jason has planned along Ducra and S’aru to give up all of his memories to be cleansed so he could defeat Ra’s Al Ghul. But (there is always a but) Ducra says this: “Your greatest enemy returned and nearly took your face away from you. And in the process, shook your sense of identity to the core” “The final battle here will take place in the Well of Sins, and with all the doubt and fear clouding your mind, it would eat you whole”.

So yeah, now we have confirmation from Ducra that Jason had indeed let what the Joker told him cloud his sense of self and made him doubt who he was and if he really was in control.

All that back and forth for these many issues just to say, yes, Jason let Joker’s words affect him.

So here it is, let Joker get in Jason’s head to build the plot of a story, fantastic, the story was a mess because it had so much information, the mischaracterizations of Roy and Kory were at their maximum potential, and in this particular story arc not only are the events of Red Hood: The Lost Days officially erased from Jason’s canon but something quite out there is added to Jason’s canon from before he was even Robin (that’s a whole different story that I won’t be talking about here).

What an insane ride this arc was. Definitely not the kind of story I enjoy in a Red Hood book but that’s just my preference.

*This whole arc was written by James Tynion IV.

Red Hood/Arsenal #11

Joker is dead during the events of this run but the person who has something to say to Jason about how the Joker made the person that he is now is Duela Dent (“Joker’s daughter”, she isn’t his daughter she just found Joker’s face somewhere and she puts it on and “becomes” crazy, she is an incredibly weird character).

She says this, “You’re a lot like dad in that way” to which Jason says “He is not my father. He’s not even your father” but Duela continues by saying. “You’re kidding yourself if you genuinely believe that. Yeah, he took your life but look what you got in its place, you ingrate. You got your freedom. You were reborn.”

Jason doesn’t fall for it or anything of the sort but once again writers are bringing up the Joker as the maker of the Red Hood and “suggesting” that what Jason has been doing and who he has become is all thanks to Joker. The idea of Jason having no free will is still present in this narrative, even when Jason doesn’t believe it.

Red Hood/Arsenal #12

I talked too soon because in this issue Jason is having some weird thoughts.

“Funny, isn’t it, so easy to call Duela “crazy” because she wears a dead man’s face. Because isn’t that what I’m doing? Before he was the Joker, he was the Red Hood. So maybe the line between men and the Joker’s daughter is a lot thinner than I’d like to admit.”

Here he is comparing himself to Duela and to the Joker to an extent, writers often bring up the fact that Jason uses the code name that his killer once had and they have people or Jason himself questioning why he uses that name.

Personally, I don’t think there is much to build from it (at least not from the perspective of Lost Days and UtRH), it was just a joke, a morbid one if you will. He wears the mantle of the person that destroys Gotham and fills its people with fear while he is trying to control the city’s drug trade and trying to keep the people safe in his own way. And the way he wanted to do it is almost the complete opposite of the way that Batman does things.

I just think that he is being ironic and acidic about the whole thing. He has obviously moved on from the fact that Joker killed him but he has issues with the fact that Batman has yet another child working with him while the Joker is still alive. And Jason really wanted to make Bruce suffer, so him taking the name and a similar appearance to how the joker used to look is also done to get a reaction from Bruce.

I really don’t think there is any sort of connection to make between Jason and Joker beyond that, much like there is no connection between the name Nightwing and the Court of Owls. Even though Lincoln March tried to convince Dick Grayson that he chose the name Nightwing because Owls fly at night and that meant that he was supposed to become a Talon and all that Dick still didn’t believe it because he knew why he chose that name and no one can twist his reason.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #10

Finally, I can stop re-reading New 52 books, I don’t enjoy it but I have to do it if I want to talk/complain about stuff.

This one is a little different because while Jason does talk with the Joker, the Joker isn’t really there he is just part of Jason’s imagination just like the Robin Jason that he is also seeing.

In this story, Jason is helping Artemis discover who she is but he gets captured in Qurac, yup that place, and worst of all from where he is being held, he can see the place where he died. All of that is helping Jason have some very vivid memories/illusions. He does actively hold a conversation with the imaginary Joker and Robin Jason though, and he is also having a lot of thoughts that let us know how the Joker affects Jason.

“This is why it was stupid of me to come back to Qurac. Even to help Artemis, even if I thought I could handle it. Physically, I am alone, but in my head? I’m drowning in memories of the worst day of what was my very short life. The day I was murdered.”

That’s what Jason is thinking but what I write next is what Jason’s saying as he talks to the imaginary Joker.

“Not interested in replaying this over again, like I have every night of my life since it happened Joker”

So, we are told that Jason thinks about that day very often, the Joker might not be involved much in Jason’s books but he definitely has a bigger role inside of Jason’s head. They chat for a bit up until Jason decides to “kill” the Joker, he knows, of course, that it is not real but it does give him satisfaction. (If only they would have let Jason actually kill the clown for real, or at the very least chase him just to show the reader that Jason does actually want to finish the job since the Bat won’t do it himself).

Having said all that, Joker’s imaginary death doesn’t last long because Jason is trapped in his mind and the Joker is basically functioning on a loop inside of it.

That is where the problem lies in this issue because Jason is letting us know that he is still heavily influenced by what happened that day and that he hasn’t been able to walk away from it. But once more that’s not the worst thing, because all of these thoughts have led Jason to think that he (in the present and as a fifteen-year-old) is the one to blame for having ended up dead. Yeah, it is messed up.

This is what Jason says to imaginary Robin Jason, “He is never going to die, Jason. Not here. Not in my mind, not if at some point I don’t stand up and walk away from my memories. From you.”

This is a major downgrade, from the Jason that we had in UtRH because that Jason had moved on from the fact that he had been killed what he was looking for was for Batman to avenge his death. He had other things in mind as well, like I said before in this post Jason had a lot of things going on, killing Joker wasn’t his only plan.

And this situation (written by Lobdell) is also very different from what was going on in New 52 where Jason being influenced by the Joker was used to build a plot. This is just a writer letting us know that this “new version” of Jason hasn’t worked out his problems when it comes to his death and his killer. That means that we are going backward.

After he realizes that he was unconscious all that time and that he was being tortured he does get his shit together in order to get out of captivity and go help Artemis.

The Joker and that whole thing that happened in his mind aren’t mentioned again, it was just for the reader to know that Rebirth Jason has unsolved issues with his death.

Batman: Three Jokers #1

Oh yes, here we are, we have arrived to that dreaded book, awful writing gorgeous art. In this book, the “Joker made Jason as he is now” trope is at its full potential; Johns drives this hellish truck of a book at full speed into our homes and then ends it by giving us one of the worst takes on Jason Todd’s characterization ever.

But first, let’s talk about the Joker and Jason interaction in the first issue. As Jason and Barbara are left alone with the Joker that they came across moments ago the Joker begins talking because that’s what he does.

He says this, “I’m the loop-de-loop, the hamster-wheel-of-doom. The cycle of pain each one of you is trapped in. Take “Red Hood” here, for example. Have you ever wondered why he uses my former moniker? Who in their right mind would take on the identity of their killer? Am I right?”

He is obviously being a little shit on purpose and is waiting to see if somebody will take the bait. Jason is the first to talk and he says this: “I took it because I’m owning what you did to me. You made me into this. I will be your destruction”.

Congratulations Jason, you took the bait, and now Barbara will fight with you over it.

Jason raises his gun to “break the cycle” and Barbara is like “please don’t do it” and boy is Joker having the time of his life! Both of these idiots are playing his game, Johns really did both Jason and Barbara dirty with this.

Here is where THE problem with letting the Joker talk is. This Joker got under Jason’s skin in seconds and Barbara did nothing while it happened.

This is what the Joker had to say. “Let’s look at the facts here bat-people. I bashed this boy’s skull in. I killed this Robin” to which Jason says “You didn’t kill me, you only made me stronger” which is weird because the Joker did kill him so I don’t know what kinda comeback that was supposed to be but Joker wasn’t done because he continues by saying “Yes, you crawled from the shallow grave I left you in. You lived on to fight another day. Hurrah! You survived because of your tenacity! Or maybe… maybe I beat you to a bloody mess… I took you right to the edge… because I wanted to leave you alive.”

Great that’s where the clown is going, just fantastic, more of the “I made you” but that’s not all because the Joker tells Jason that him having hurt Jason wasn’t because he didn’t like Jason, it was all about Batman, Jason doesn’t matter.

But that’s not the worse thing that was written in this awful book, Geoff Johns seems to have felt that the trauma that Jason went through in the original “Death in the Family” story wasn’t enough because he decided to add something new.

That’s why the Joker says this next, “Do you recall what you said to me while I was breaking your head in with that crowbar? As your blood streamed into your eyes and your skull cracked? Because I cherish those words. I’ll always cherish them. ‘Please stop! Please! If you let me live, I’ll do anything you say. I’ll be your Robin’” “And look at you now my little “Red Hood” shooting up people and making Batman’s life miserable! You are my Robin!”

What a nightmare Johns decided to put Jason and Jason Nation through huh? I hate this, this is the worst thing that has ever been written in a Jason Todd story (although I can say that about many things that were written in this three-issue book).

Jason kills the Joker after he says all that, Barbara does (for some reason) try to stop him from doing it but luckily, she can’t stop Jason.

But here is the thing, Jason killing the Joker doesn’t make me feel as satisfied as I would have liked, and it doesn’t feel that way because Jason let Joker talk for far too long and what Joker said ended up getting in Jason’s head and messing with him.

Batman: Three Jokers #2

Yeah, there is no rest for us, Jason Nation, in this issue Jason goes looking for another Joker to kill and he finds one but he gets captured. Johns really had to get Jason naked for Joker to torture him mentally and physically? Johns is, himself, a major red flag but that’s not what I am here to talk about.

In this issue the Joker that captures Jason has the same things to say as the other one, DC writers really have no imagination when it comes to building conflict between Joker and Jason, huh?

Anyway, Joker says this, “tell me something. Why would you put on that helmet and call yourself Red Hood after what we did?” Jason of course replies “Come on, is every one of you copycats gonna ask me the same thing? It’s a joke” the answer isn’t enough for Joker (the two of them that are here with Jason) so he continues talking. “A joke? We left you with brain damage and permanent nerve pain. Physical and emotional trauma so severe that the only relief you ever find is when you inflict pain on others. You and me, boy, we’re more alike than you’d care to admit. But you know that already. You nearly died and you blame the Batman. You hate him for it. Me too. You hate him most of all don’t you?”

Now, here is the thing, that whole thing is bullshit, none of it makes sense. From Jason having permanent nerve pain to Jason hating Batman the most, everything is a lie. And my confusion here is that I don’t know if I have to feel like Joker is doing it on purpose to be a little bitch or if Geoff Johns was on crack when he wrote this and he had actually never heard of Jason Todd in his life before.

The whole thing is a mess, it feels like he is writing Jason from an origin and story that we never read. I don’t know how to explain it, but the whole thing feels cheap, it’s a cheap trope and it’s a cheap take on who Jason Todd is, was, and will be.

The nightmare doesn’t end Jason Nation because these two Jokers have something else in mind, you see, if they said that they made the Red Hood when they killed Jason the first time, maybe if they kill him this time then he could possibly come back as the Joker. Yeah, this book did nothing for Jason.

Let’s make something clear, Jason does NOT hate Batman/Bruce for not being able to save him, he hates the fact that Batman/Bruce didn’t kill the Joker to avenge him. That simple thing doesn’t exist in Three Jokers and that’s why things like the ones that happen next are allowed to happen in this story.

Bruce and Barbara find Jason and when Bruce asks if he is okay Jason just goes berserk, he says: “Am I all right? What do you think Bruce?! You did this to me. You put me on this path. And I do hate you for it. For leaving me in the dirt. Replacing me one Robin after another without a thought.”

This, everybody is what you get when you mix bad writing with Jason being mentally manipulated by the Joker.

It's a shame that Jason is being treated this way at this point in time, in a book that came out in 2020 when Jason was able to shut the clown up with a knife and a couple of words back in 2005. What a downgrade.

At the end of this issue, Jason is safe and recovering but he still is in the same mindset, he says, “What the Joker said about how I’ve been on the path to being like them for years… they are not wrong. I don’t want to be like them though. I really don’t.”

It’s like a never-ending wheel of pain with this book. Jason is talking to Barbara when he says that and he is trying to look for comfort in her. And here is where the Jason/Barbara subplot begins and I only bring this up because something that happens in the next issue is based on the kiss that Barbara gave Jason but then was like “that doesn’t mean anything, I was just trying to comfort you”. Johns shouldn’t be allowed to write Barbara and Jason ever again.

Batman: Three Jokers #3

It’s in this issue that we find out the big subplot that Johns has prepared for Jason, are you ready for it? Yup, Jason should stop being the Red Hood because if he keeps it up, he will eventually become the Joker.

I know, I know! Jason would never stop being Red Hood, he is not on a path to become the Joker, that’s crazy! Jason’s Red Hood is a character on its own and he is amazing and just because he has different morals from Batman doesn’t mean that he is a bad guy! Right?...

“I’ll give up being Red Hood for us. I can be something else. Or I can be just Jason.”

To this day I cannot believe that those words supposedly were written by Jason Todd to Barbara Gordon after Barbara rejected him three times. The level of “what the fuck is this” is incredibly high with this one…

This whole book was a mess and I am so glad that it didn’t last longer.

Anyway, that’s it. In conclusion, Jason didn’t let the Joker get under his skin the first time they interacted after he came back from the dead but later when DC decided that UtRH was just too good of a book they came up with stories where Joker does get under Jason’s skin and Jason becomes convinced that he has no free will (or at the very least he doubts his free will) when it comes to him becoming his own man.

As I have said before, that for Jason Todd is a major downgrade. And it's one of the many things that hurts Jason’s characterization in current comics.

#jason todd #Jason Todd #red hood #Red Hood #red hood and the outlaws #red hood outlaw #three jokers #batman under the red hood #dc comics

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houseboatisland · 3 years

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I'm rather curious for your own takes on Thom Thom~✨💙

Edit credit to @/ComradeOpThomas from Twitter, this is my ideal Thomas!

(Season 5 Thomas is the best Thomas, I don’t make the rules)

I started this hoping for it not to become a whole biography, but it just kept pouring out of me, so here's a very, very long post indeed lol

Thomas is NOT an L.B.S.C.R. E2 Class. He’s actually a unique design born to the North Western Railway in its earliest days… and in remarkably sad circumstances.

When the Railway Executive Committee first took over in August 1914, they were repulsed at the state of the Sudrian railways. Here were several argumentative companies operating in isolation from one another, with geriatric engines and stock, and one of them hadn't even run a train or maintained its permanent way since the start of the century. A key agenda item of the R.E.C.'s was a continuous, efficient railway system to quickly move men and materiel to the Island's eastern coast were Ireland to side with Kaiser Bill against John Bull. The existing standard gauge railways would have to be more or less torn up and rebuilt from scratch, and several new miles of track laid in to make for a single fluid network.

This required, among other things, many new engines. Several came over the Channel as and when could be spared by the Mainland, but as it became increasingly clear that the war would not be over "by Christmas," this wasn't an ideal long-term solution. The R.E.C. was especially upset that it had to put so many of its tender engines onto construction trains when their strength could be better used on other work. Two tank engines off the former Wellsworth and Suddery Railway, No. 1 "Short" and No. 2 "Stumpy" were by now nearing fifty years old, and exhausted mechanically.

The R.E.C., out to keep costs down and use resources to the fullest, ordered the N.W.R. to scrap these two engines and use the best parts of each to create one new engine. Measurements were taken, plans were hastily drawn up, and Short and Stumpy were quietly cut up in January 1915. Several fittings were made new for what odds and ends neither engine could contribute a usable part. The resulting new engine was "Thomas," who was put to work fresh off the shop floor.

Thomas at this point became the N.W.R.’s No. 1 quite by accident. He was the first engine to be built at Crovan’s Gate, and the REC misinterpreted this on his builder’s plates as an intention by the N.W.R. TO make him No. 1. So when Thomas gained his number, the R.E.C. and the N.W.R. both assumed this was deliberate by one another. And it was just too much of a hassle and too unimportant to change, so No. 1 he stayed.

As for his name, Thomas is named after Thomas Reginald Payne, the North Western Railway's first Chief Mechanical Engineer. Payne had made Thomas' construction a reality, from drawing up his blueprints to supervising his piecing together. Payne, who was CME from 1914 to his death in 1951, never forgot this connection to "his" engine, and often wanted to be on the shop floor whenever Thomas was in for repairs.

Thomas’ “infancy” was in a word, harsh. He was working around the clock, surrounded by engines who came and went, and did little if any socializing. Foremen were ordering him about at every turn. His first friend ever was the new N.W.R. No. 2, Edward, the former Wellsworth and Suddery Railway’s No. 5 and only tender engine, who knew his old crewmates were chopped up to make Thomas. Thankfully, Edward knew better than to let Thomas in on this, lest he give him some sort of existential crisis, and he made quick work of making himself a mentor to the little engine.

In these conditions, Thomas’ “cheeky” and anti-authoritarian streak took shape. His whole life thus far had been work and taking lumps from his superiors, most of whom were English and not Sudrian. This morphed into a disrespect for big engines, who wanted him to be their errand boy as construction work began to ebb and focus shifted to running trains. Ever the contrarian, Thomas only doubles down on his disrespect for tender engines when he finds out that that’s “the traditional order of things.” Edward is of course exempt from this attitude, but in his tensest moments Thomas can even lose patience with HIM momentarily.

The war finally ends. January 1919 sees the N.W.R. out to make an identity for itself as peacetime takes hold and Parliament quietly rumbles about Grouping or outright Nationalization. Thomas is the first engine to wear "Hatt Blue with Red Stripes," the company's planned standard livery. This isn't unique to him for long, however, and Thomas' new line of work from hereon is Station Pilot for Vicarstown. Needless to say this is upsetting to him. He's not moving up and down the Island like he was when building the railway. He's still rushed off his wheels. He's expected to be answerable to tender engines as he makes up their trains. Most importantly, he's still having as much difficulty as before to make time to make friends. This new job is in every respect everything Thomas could have wanted to avoid, and there's no telling if he'll ever even get out of it. January 1919 is thus where "Wants to See the World" Thomas begins.

Thomas still gets to see Edward regularly, and he is for a pinch joined by two other tank engines shunting at Vicarstown. They're also ex-Wellsworth and Suddery Railway, Nos. 3 and 4 "Edwin" and "Victor." Thomas befriends Victor, who is a friendly old joker, but dislikes Edwin who has become cranky in his old and as a 2-4-0T has a tendency to slip and not be of much help. They leave him too, in 1922, when The Fat Director relocates them to run other branchlines on the Island. So, 1922 onward, we meet Thomas as the sole pilot, thoroughly busy and thoroughly lonely.

This seems more or less canon, but The Fat Director probably sent Thomas to Wellsworth after his runaway with Edward's trucks in anticipation of giving him the Ffarquhar Branch once he was a matured engine. He didn't give Thomas the line just because he rescued James in fine style, that was really what made his mind up.

Thomas looks kindly enough on Henry as a big engine at this time, he and Edward as mentioned aren't necessarily the kinds of "Big Engines" he dislikes. He'll occasionally give him a tease or two, or lose patience with his health, (something he now deeply regrets years later,) but there's no real malice in it. Think of him as the little brother poking fun at his bigger brother for having one arm in a cast, but altogether still feeling sorry for him and accommodating him how he can. Henry for his part appreciates Thomas, but takes his teasing very seriously considering how sensitive and implicating it is to, you know, his whole existence.

My idea of Thomas' relationship with Gordon is heavily inspired by @/mean-scarlet-deceiver's: Thomas is initially awed by Gordon's arrival and finally confident the N.W.R. can survive, but quickly resents him when he shows his true colors as a "big engine" through and through. I wouldn't even call Gordon and Thomas "friendly" until their alliance at Toryreck Mine. From 1923 all the way up to then, depending on when you place it, they... legitimately dislike each other. There's no affection beneath all the ribbing and jibes, they ACTUALLY disliked each other that whole period of time.

I'm still hashing out my headcanon of 98462 and 87546, (just know that those aren't actually their numbers,) but it's safe to say Thomas hates their guts, and '62 and '46 hate his guts in return as a servant willing to speak up for himself.

Thomas and James were a couple from 1924 to 1933, when they broke up amid the Big Engine Strike. I'd really rather reserve this for a post of its own at a later date.

Thomas and Percy are good friends, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them "best friends" like the TVS has so often hammered in. They clearly come to blows whenever the tension's too much. I like to explain that away as a shift in Thomas' character. With him doing more passenger work as Percy and Toby handle the stone trains, and his increasing fame, Thomas begins looking down on Percy, not long after he transferred to Ffarquhar in 1955 in fact. This might also have to do with unresolved feelings between them both. (Hey, remember that little green engine you kissed once just to try it over twenty years ago? He's your roommate now, probably forever. Play nice!)

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teresa-moyocoyotzin · 3 years

Text

QOTS 5.09 “I Love You” Scenes Meta

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 5.09 OF QUEEN OF THE SOUTH ABOUND

Okay this is basically just me trying to place James and Teresa’s ILY scenes within the larger context of their relationship and other kisses, and analyzing their respective reactions!

(Also just a disclaimer that obviously this is just one fan’s interpretation, there’s no right or wrong here! This is just how I see it and hopefully it’ll connect w some of y’alls insight too!)

Oh boy okay so I’m just gonna do this in the style of my old Bolivia visions meta b/c I think the best in bullet point form, so we’re just gonna go thru the scenes like super in depth, w/ way more detail than necessary. Think of it as a close reading, but instead of a piece of writing, it’s a tv show, and it has no sources except My Opinions lol

I’m still planning to actually write out my reactions to the whole episode when I re-watch it, but I can’t stop picking apart the I Love You scenes b/c honestly there’s so much going on there! Come on y’all this has been building since the second episode of this show there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m mostly focusing on how these kisses are vastly different from any of their other kisses IMO and how that affects the love confessions!

THIS IS GONNA BE UNNECESSARILY LONG AND NOT VERY ORGANIZED, BE WARNED

Let’s start when James says “You wouldn’t let me do it, so why should I let you?” shall we? B/c THIS MOMENT

SO as others have pointed out, this line really feels like a love confession in and of itself, and I’m sure if they hadn’t confessed their feelings in the same scene we would all be obsessing about it. I low-key am anyways..

Sure they’ve acknowledged that they do things to protect each other etc. etc. but this is really James making sure that she knows that he knows that SHE knows that they both feel the same way, and he’s not dancing around it anymore, not when she’s throwing herself into danger yet again. Teresa doesn’t have an answer, but it does make something click in her brain. No matter what moral code she’s following these days, if James was walking into a death trap like that she wouldn’t want him to go and would try to stop him. And right now, he’s feeling the same thing for her, he knows that she cares as much about him as he cares about her and that it’s a LOT, and he’s telling it straight to her face.

When she kisses him, I think it’s an acknowledgment of that, as well as her sort of trying to return the sentiment. And also, she doesn’t have a good answer to his question and wants to kiss him so she does!! James is clearly surprised by the kiss, as evident by his posture and slowly relaxing into the kiss. But THEN

After James’ brain catches up, he kisses her again, and even tho it’s short it looks to me like a pretty powerful, strong kiss!!?? (hard to tell b/c as usual…. they filmed it in a black hole..) and to me, it reads like he really let all his true feelings come through in that kiss POSSIBLY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

Now, lemme explain. Their first kiss in 3.05 was undeniably full of feelings and emotions, and I’m sure that night was super passionate and full of love! However, knowing what we know now about how everything plays out, I don’t think they were really at the point of saying ILY yet. Even if they did both love each other then, and I think they did, they had a lot of trust issues and abandonment issues to work through first. And as we all know, after that night everything goes to shit and they go about 12 steps backwards. My main point here is that I think both James and Teresa are still feeling generally unsure about each other’s feelings during their first kiss. This is also true for.. literally all of their kisses? Until now. Because in 3.09, they’re just super horny from taking over Phoenix but Teresa is just barely getting over Guero’s death in that episode.. I think that kiss was more about them feeling like the King and Queen of phoenix and less about their Actual Feelings (just imo obviously). And then they kiss after Teresa gets back form Bolivia but Teresa is suspecting him then and he’s certainly feeling her hesitation so no big feelings in that kiss either. Then of course there’s the goodbye kiss at the end of s3, and yes in that one I do think they were both letting their true feelings show in their kiss but they were both misinterpreting the other’s feelings and both were in a way lying to the other in that scene. James about his reason for leaving, and Teresa about her true reasons for wanting him to stay. And THEN, the kiss at the beginning of s5 is very much a “I’m happy you’re back, I want to be with you, but we can’t” kind of kiss, and again, there were feelings there but they were both still holding something back, and still not on the same page about what they wanted and were working towards. But in this kiss, they are on the same page , working toward the same thing, which is to get themselves OUT, together. Ever since they made that decision, there is an implicit agreement between them that they’re getting out together, and I think they both know that they want to be together if they make it out. And they both are desperate to have the other know their feelings before any potential deaths. However, they don’t really KNOW that they’re on the same page until that KISS.

SO ALL THIS TO SAY that in my eyes, the main reason Teresa’s so shocked is that this is the first time that James didn’t hold ANY of his love for her back when he kissed her, and she FELT IT babeyy. Teresa initiates this kiss to show him her true feelings, which takes him bit by surprise, but then he returns the feelings Full Force which takes Teresa totally by surprise.

I mean just look at her face after they part, before he says ILY. She looks shocked and confused, almost a little angry? I don’t think it’s really anger though, so much as it is being taken aback by the emotions that James is laying all out on the table for her to clearly see. Her face here is actually what drove me to write this meta, because at first I was so confused as to why she looked so shook up after the first kiss, cuz like girl U INITIATED IT?? I think part of it is that Teresa was a bit taken aback by the strength of her own feelings in that moments and the urge to kiss him despite them not being out of the business yet. She’s realized that if she’s gonna die tomorrow, she wants to kiss James first, and she wants that like, really bad. And also she loves him and was overcome w the urge to show him. But mainly, I really don’t think she expected to be met w/ such strong love from James’ kiss, because all the other times, he had been holding back his feelings.

James’ face after the kiss totally plays into this theory for me - he looks like he just got CAUGHT. She’s looking at him like what the Fuck was that!!! And he’s like oh SHit now I just gotta say it. The way he looks at her and shakes his head a little like, wow I’m really about to say it. I think it’s been on the tip of his tongue all episode, but he realized he just totally showed his hand with that kiss and there’s no going back now.

But omg you guys his face when he says it just SENDS ME TO THE FLOOR his little smile???? Like he’s thinking “how did we end up here? am I really about to tell Teresa I love her? YEP”

I don’t think she had any intention of telling him her feelings so outright yet, to me it totally makes sense that he tells her first. At the beginning of the season, Teresa made it clear that she does want to be with James, but she felt restricted by their life. So, James has spent the past season coming to terms with a) that Teresa still wants to be with him if they can get out of the business, b) that she’s changed a lot and no longer follows her old moral code, and c) that he still loves her even if she’s not entirely the same person he fell in love with originally.

Meanwhile Teresa came to terms w/ the fact that she wanted to be w/ him early in the season but pushed that Right down after indulging in 1 kiss (which I think was also meant to be a reassurance that she did want to be with him) but spent the rest of the season trying to grow her business, which in her mind would forever keep her from being able to be with James. So even if she acknowledged her feelings, she was not letting herself dwell on them. James, however… oh boy has he been dwelling. Especially since Dumas so kindly pointed his feelings out to him lol. So I think Teresa’s strong feelings for James have been building under the surface but she wasn’t allowing herself to acknowledge them at all, and therefore I think she kind of surprised herself a bit by kissing him, was then even more surprised by how strongly her feelings were showing, and then James hits her with a Big Feelings kiss and then an I Love You??? Oh boy

Taking this into account it totally makes sense that she looks super shocked after James tells her, even if they both have ~known~ for a long time. Y’know?

Okay so then there’s the sex scene which I LOVED omg, like absolutely zero complaints, super hot, exactly what they and we deserved. I’m not gonna get into it b/c I think it speaks for itself, but like, would happily read a meta about it if someone wrote it 👀

Anyways I think the morning after, when Teresa is laying in bed admiring James, is when Teresa is really digesting all of these feelings and the fact of them being out in the open, and she’s deciding that she needs to tell James she loves him, like ASAP. She is also at the same time having to accept that she’s going on a super dangerous mission today that she night not come back from, and if she does come back from it, they’re gonna have to still find a way Out. All in all, safe to say she’s got a lot going on in her mind, but it’s clear by her gazing at him that James is a big factor in all of it.

I love the next scene so much omg

They’ve gotten ready for the day and James is once again pulling tricks out of his bag to ensure her safety, and she’s just.. staring at him. My personal headcanon here is that Teresa’s intuition was telling her that a) the phonegun was gonna be irrelevant, and b) that she had about 30 seconds before her phone rang and she had to leave for potential death. Therefore it just blocked out literally everything but James and needing to tell him that she loved him. The moment I love the most is actually when James says “Here, try it” and he steps closer and she sort of jolts like they’re physically connected. The first time I saw the scene I literally gasped from that one step he takes because they just had this electric pull between them that was so obvious that I literally felt it. The chemistry!!!!

She’s just so focused on him in that moment and that whole scene, and the way she whispers “I love you” likes she just HAS to say it, she has to make sure he KNOWS she loves him before she runs off to risk her life. And the fact that it happens while James is actively trying to set her up for protection??? POETIC CINEMA I tell you. Kudos to Alice for that because apparently it was her idea and it’s my FAVE

Another thing that I really don’t know how to interpret but I find interesting from a cinematic point of view: James and Teresa are literally left in the dark during James’ love confession. It’s at night, and there is NO DAMN LIGHT AT ALL ON THEIR FACES (I bet the gif makers really appreciated that one huh…) so we can’t even see their reactions very well. Meanwhile, when Teresa confesses her feelings, it’s super brightly lit, in a white room, she’s wearing white, we can see all of the emotions on their faces. IDK what this is meant to symbolize exactly, so if anyone has thoughts PLEASE share them.

James seems a little in shock after, I think he really didn’t expect her to say it, even if he assumed she felt the same. And I think he was okay w/ that and had accepted it, knowing it would be really hard for her to say. After all, once she acknowledges it, it’s that much more painful if they have to say goodbye…

I think the way she says it perfectly captures how hard it is for her to get the words out, even if she feels an overwhelming urge to say them and make sure he knows. She seems very sure of her feelings, and I don’t think she hesitated to tell him at all, but it’s still a big step, and presumably the last person she said ILY to, in this context, was Guero. And his death destroyed her, so ofc she’s be scared to admit that she’s in love and put herself at the risk of losing it again. God Alice did such a good job w/ that line it really gets me every time. So sure, and soft, but with no room for doubt. Like she knows he doesn’t expect her to say it, but she can’t bear to let him think she doesn’t love him back. And it’s so simple too, like she’s saying “of COURSE I love you, how could you think I don’t?” AHHHH

And just the way she stares at him the whole time like she’s just waiting for him to stop talking so she can say it, and while she waits she’s perfectly happy to ignore the situation at hand and think about how she loves him and he loves her and also probably how good he FUCKS cuz like……………y’all saw his hand goin’ down there after he flips her over right 👀 okay ANYWAYS

So she finally tells him!!!!!! That she loves him!!! And kisses him!! Just to really drive the point home. And because, again, I think something was telling Teresa to kiss her man and tell him she loves him because she was about to get a call from Kostya’s men any second.

I really think James’ sort of blank look after she tells him is just him being in shock that she actually said it. I would have loved to know what he would have said after that, but alas.

That final shot before the phone rings though ❤️ their foreheads together, her hand on his heart and his hand on her hand, also the way that visually her arm (clothed in white) is across his body (clothed in black/gray) and vice versa w/ his arm is across her body, sort of continuing the sort of yin-yang theme they have going this season, I just think is a cool touch on the behalf of whoever choreographed/directed the scene.

I also interpret it as a very grounding moment for both of them, rooted in physical touch but not sexual in any way, just comforting. They finally can completely take comfort in each other because their feelings are out in the open and they’re completely connected. AGH they really have me in a chokehold lol

Anyways this is so fucking long and rambly, I don’t know if it makes sense but I did my best to proofread, I’m so sorry but thank you for reading if you’ve made it all the way here, or like even if you made it thru 1/16 of it lol I APPRECIATE YOU

I’m not sure what the main point is here, but anyways I think the actors, writers, directors, etc. did an amazing job w/ their I Love You scenes and I’m personally feeling v satisfied w/ it!

#i have no idea if i'm even saying anything new here but somehow i could not rest until i wrote it down lol so here ya go #qots meta #queen of the south meta #queen of the south #qots #jeresa #jeresa meta #qots spoilers #queen of the south spoilers #jeresa spoilers

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