#and i don't feel it's necessary for me to have to share that info honestly

[lachrymimosaa]

can't tell if a behavior is generally considered controlling or if i'm just so private a person that it's merely rubbing me as controlling

[deerspherestudios]

How do you organise the process of creating a character? like, to me its too confusing, i dont know what i do first because there are TOO MANY THINGS TO DO, like backstory, personality, looks, what they like, so what would be the “steps” to make them?

(Since @isabellaswork asked the same thing recently I'm tagging you here, hope that's okay!) Omg I'm flattered I'm the person you'd wanna ask such a big question ;v;!!? Honestly the process is different for everyone, but I'll give it a go <3 This is how my process usually goes:

Personality first, backstory later. Flesh out the concept of the character before deciding their origin story if that makes sense.

Build a moodboard for your character! The more ideas the better!

Time for visuals! Sketch out multiple iterations, looking at the moodboard for inspiration. Colors go last.

Finalize! Once you've got your final sketch + colors, draw a proper illustration and see if you vibe with the design. Repeat previous steps if necessary <3

Extra: Since you've got the design and story down, add some fun facts. This is where interests, likes and dislikes go!

I'll use my VN characters as examples below in case someone wants it in more detail! Mychael (Mushroom Oasis) and Alma (Lift Your Spirits spoilers!! + horror imagery) process ideation under cut:

Usually I start with personality first. Because for me, when you first meet someone, you see what they're like in the present; their past doesn't matter as much until you get to know them. I can decide the backstory later so it doesn't limit the personalities I'm playing around with. Of course I must have gotten the idea from somewhere so these two things work in tandem most of the time.

Then it's just a matter of how they look!

After deciding on personality traits, I start by collecting references from everywhere, even the smallest of things. I think of how I want them to look plus how they would dress. Anything goes at this stage, so just go buck-wild gathering ideas!

Here's a moodboard for Mychael:

This one was for Alma, from their normal self to their monstrous self:

Then it's time for drawing and doodles. As I sketch, I look back at the moodboard I've made and pick out things I like, while drawing things really loose. Copy paste if I need to!

I've shared the ones for Mychael here, here and here! Here's some sketches for Alma from last year:

This part takes the longest but is always the most fun! Don't feel limited by what you had initially, just test out ideas! Here are the final designs!

Mychael(s):

Alma(s):

Then once I'm happy with the design I can flesh out the backstory as much as I like!!! so long as it fits the presentation of the character in current time. Of course this process can differ when you already have a story in mind and need characters to carry out the plot, but I'm definitely not big-brain enough to make an all-out story like that </3 I just enjoy designing characters visually haha

Oh and just for fun, I like to sprinkle in some extra (but kinda unnecessary) background info. It can be the most mundane thing but it gives them more life (to me at least!) Maybe they drink flat orange soda, or enjoy riding trains at night, or hate the smell of french fries, or think apples are disgusting etcetcetc.

Of course there's like, tips for professional character designing like silhouette, shapes, proportions but I assume this ask was for a more casual approach <3 That's all I could think of if I were to describe my process,,, I hope that answers your question!

To recap:

Start with personality traits and decide backstory later. Or work them together as one. It's more concept than visuals at this stage.

Assemble a moodboard for inspiration. The more ideas the better! Look up anything that might relate to your character if it helps.

Sketch, sketch and sketch again! Keep things loose and free. I usually start from the face, to clothes to accessories. Colors go last.

Finalize! Put everything together in one rendered drawing, and see if you vibe with it. You can always go back to previous steps if you're still not happy with it.

And you're done! :-)

[girlfromthecrypt]

i don't mind the rambles, don't worry. but yeah, honestly trans people even when we're not shown in media as specifically unattractive, we're not like. depicted as attractive either. we don't get to be like objects of attraction if that makes sense? we get to be like side characters and shit. and top surgery or any surgical scars are generally pretty damn taboo because ooOOOOoooo we're mutilating something or other or whatever the fuck it is. even irl, we're generally considered a stereotypically unattractive group. when trans people are rarely represented, we don't get to be like objects of attraction. we're usually "and here's the lesson! don't be mean!" one off characters or best friend characters (assuming we're not horrible stereotypes). plus a lot of medias arent eager to add us in in general in fear of losing their more conservative audiences.

it's totally fine when you rant, I do it too (as demonstrated by the above), I've had quite a few VN/IF creators apologize to me about like rambling about their games and like, I'm asking questions because i love the media. I get the feeling, cause I get that about other stuff. but seriously, info-dumping about something you've created that people love is awesome for fans (not to speak for all of us, but generally it seems to be)

Ngl I'm blind to a lot of that media portrayal bc I'm not entrenched in a lot of media anymore. I "conceived" Basil as trans from the start (he was a LI/supporting character in a nosleep story [horror writing subreddit over on Reddit] I never ended up posting), and in my mind, he was just always "him" and always pretty cute. I was comfortable enough writing a trans character bc one of my oldest friends is a trans man, and he let me ask him just about anything I wanted to know. Ofc I researched most of the necessary info on my own, but having him around was still helpful and very reassuring. (In hindsight, this is also making me kinda sad bc that friend and I have kinda drifted apart since...)

I was kinda hesitant about sharing though bc I was afraid of getting things wrong, but hey, if what you're saying about the mainstream portrayal of trans folk is anything to go off of, I'm probably doing okay (nervous laughter).

Actually, have an excerpt from the original story Basil appeared in! [Note: he's WAYYY dorkier and socially awkward in this than in Such Happy Campers. He's also a landlord in this, so the vanlife stuff and spiritualism is part of his overhaul for SHC. But original Basil makes the same amount of horrible jokes.] [more below]

I was prepared to camp outside that house. That turned out not to be necessary, as right at that moment, a peculiar-looking youngish man appeared in the doorway. Pieces of striped tapestry clung to his threadbare tracksuit and glue coated a good portion of his hair.

I asked him if he’d just been in a fight, and he assured me he’d merely been putting up new wallpapers in one of the apartments. When I asked whether he had something for me to rent on short notice, he was surprisingly cooperative. He introduced himself to me as Basil, and enthusiastically welcomed me to the house and the neighborhood. When we shook hands, our palms stuck together. 

“Sorry… I had an accident with the glue,” he explained, grimacing awkwardly. “Don’t worry, I got something to wash it off. You’d best come in.”

With a glance at our entwined fingers, I told him I obviously had nowhere else to go, to which he replied that one could say my hands were tied.

Been meaning to share this snippet for a while and this seems a good opportunity. This was how he "looked" at the time/how the main character describes him:

I admittedly always considered him very attractive, albeit goofy-looking with his fluffy blond mustache and mullet. Something about his appearance inspired trust and openness, and the warmth he exuded was more than welcome.

So yeah, that's some of Basil's history. In this old version, he was actually kind of insecure about his surgery scars (which were fresher at the time, and he hated a lot of his looks in general), which I ended up discarding because I much prefer him with astronomic levels of smugness. Like, I want him to be fully aware of how good he looks.

I'm very happy with the current version of Basil, and I'm glad I "saved" his character for this IF project instead of posting his story back then. I just realized (while I was writing the nosleep story at the time) that I LOVED writing him and wanted to have him there in a bigger project, which ended up being SHC.

Okay yeah I'm about to be one of those IF authors you mentioned bc now I need to apologize as well. I went on a huge tangent here. Hope this particular infodump was at least somewhat interesting to you! Either way, thanks so much for the talk.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello!

This might have already been answered in a previous post. However, tumblr on mobile hates me and doesn’t want to work half of the time so I’m having trouble locating stuff.

I’m working on a second draft of my manuscript and am trying multiple POVs along with having each chapter either be a different day or different character. For example: chapter one is date ‘xx’ with ‘character A’, while chapter two is date ‘xy’ with ‘character B’. (My story takes place over eight months with four distinct POVs). One of the very early chapters doesn’t have many plot points, but has a major one in it, as the major plot point leads to the kick off the inciting incident. (I usually do 5-6 basic points/events I want to hit in a chapter). But I’m only coming up with 1-2 for this specific chapter.

Would it be a better idea to combine this chapter with the next chapter? Or should I rework this chapter to have more substance? I could leave it as is however, I feel as if the chapter wouldn’t hit the mini word count I set for myself or highlight what I’m trying to show. Would it be a good idea to flesh out the world and this specific character more— or would it seem to info-dump-y?

Thanks so much! Also sorry if my question makes barely any sense.

Hitting 5-6 Plot Points/Events Per Chapter

First: tumblr on mobile hates everyone, so no worries there.

I'm curious about this idea of hitting 5 to 6 plot points or events per chapter... this isn't structural method I've ever encountered before, and honestly, it sound like a lot to cram into a single chapter. Most chapters would revolve around a single plot point or event, with maybe a few minor ones where necessary.

I mean, the bottom line is if it's working for your story, don't change it. If you feel like the chapters are solid and not too busy, keep doing what you're doing. But I definitely wouldn't worry about chapters that aren't overflowing with plot points and events. Just the 1 to 2 plot points/events should be enough for that chapter. If you're worried that not enough is happening, it might be a good place to illustrate something important about the world or characters, but you don't want to do it as an info dump. For example... let's say you realize this chapter could be a good place to explore the POV character's internal conflict. Rather than doing an info dump, you can find another event that would illustrate that conflict. Like, perhaps this character is dealing with a confidence issue related to a past event, so you can find a way to showcase that issue by showing how their confidence is impacted.

Ultimately, as nice as symmetry is, you generally don't want to make story decisions based on symmetry rather than what is best for the story. :)

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[judgedarts]

hi!! proud owner of i think 5 atp jojo chibi charms and VERY new artist alley vendor here and i was just wondering, how do you budget/manage costs for non local cons that might have high transportation costs or more expensive tables? do you usually make back what you spent on transport + table/tickets + merch production/ordering + etc at the con or is there a slight loss? this is mainly for my own reference asking someone successful so ty for answering!!!

hey! congratulations on becoming an AA vendor :,) im very honored that you've bought from me before and that you consider me a 'successful' vendor haha!

i'm really passionate when it comes to talking about AA stuff so I'll be putting my answer in the read more since it's pretty long lol!

to be honest, I'm in a very lucky position to be able to travel to conventions beyond the east coast because it can really get expensive T_T i think the most honest answer i can give you is that your first couple of cons most likely are going to be a slight loss for you income wise if you are planning on traveling for a convention - tbh, i generally don't recommend doing a convention out of your state/out of your means if you're very new to tabling. my very first conventions were in driving/public transport distance (i love you new york and new jersey!!!) so i never spent money other than the table cost and ordering product. so if you're starting out and live in a state that has local cons, id HIGHLY recommend doing local events to get experience and cutting down costs as much as you can so you can get the most out of it! if you do intend on doing out-of-state cons because your state doesn't have many small local cons, i totally get it, but again, just try to keep your costs as low as possible. here are some suggestions and things to keep in mind:

1.split costs with a friend

split the table, split hotel fees, split ubers, etc! if you have family/friends in that state, consider crashing at their place for the weekend! maybe treat them to dinner haha

2. save up funds

honestly, there's really no getting around it - you might have to get income from somewhere else besides selling merch @ cons! i worked a part-time job throughout college, did commissions/freelance, and had my store open to save up for cons.

3. remember to deduct all expenses for your business

keep in mind that table fees/travel and hotel fees/products/meals are all deductible. these are considered investments for your business and they're completely necessary for you to run said business so when it comes tax time, you'll be able to breathe a little easier haha.

4. know your limits and be cautious

unfortunately, not all cons are going to be successful or will go your way no matter how much money you pour into it. if you know a convention is going to be out of your means, you can always apply the following year. I've had plenty of cons i couldn't go to because i simply couldn't afford it at the time, but the more money you save up, the more experience you get, and the more connections you make, you'll be able to afford to go and be successful! i'd also do plenty of research about the convention (especially the attendance #s, how previous vendors feel about the con, etc) before you decide to go. 5. have fun!

even though the upfront price can be intimidating, you are still paying the price to travel, visit a city you've never been to, meet new people, fans, your friends, and make connections! not to mention the really inspiring and motivating atmosphere that artist alley can be. i hope that regardless of the money you make you take the time to enjoy the experience to the fullest and appreciate that you are sharing your awesome art with others :,)! i try to make the best out of a con even if i barely make even, and make new friends and connections because trust me, they are so meaningful ^^<3!

besides all that, i highly recommend joining the Artist Alley Network discord if you haven't already - there's a plethora of info, advice, etc that you can take away from there. https://discord.gg/artistalleynetwork i hope this was helpful! if you have any more specific questions I'm more than happy to answer them for you. if they're too specific or i don't feel comfortable answering, i hope you can understand too! good luck with all your AA endeavors - i believe in you and i really hope we will table at the same con soon!

[thestupidhelmet]

Hey there! First of all - I can't begin to say how amazing your work on here is. Your metas, fanfic, comics - as a relatively new 70s fan, it's been so great to peruse. I started watching the show in the autumn last year, and grew up in the 2000s so it still feels nostalgic to me.

It might be a bit of a weird question, but basically I've really been interested in researching the original screenplays, especially the 'scrapped' s7 ending (Aka the original finale) before it was renewed for season 8. I've had no luck so far, and I was wondering if you have had any experience looking for these before? If you have, would it be possible to ask for any pointers on where to start on my journey?

Thanks so much for everything you do, honestly it's amazing to read!!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm happy you're enjoying my T7S works. 😊♥️

Unfortunately, unless you got a hold of the T7S writers' own copies of their original drafts (if they -- or the producers -- still have them), they don't exist online anywhere.

The information I have about them is from the That '70s Show message board at Fan Forum. It was active from the time the earliest seasons first aired until my co-mod and I shut it down this year. The archives are still available to read at Fan Forum.

Before I was part of the board, it was a known quantity to people at That '70s Show. For instance, Wilmer Valderrama posted there a few times.

People who ran T7S fansites (which were a thing before social media sites like Facebook and Tumblr existed) often had connections to the show, and they shared insider info with people on the board, including about the S7 rewrites once S8 was greenlit. One specific example is that Jackie and Hyde were not supposed to reconcile until after Jackie's job offer in Chicago / ultimatum -- in other words, the series finale.

Because the series finale turned into a season finale, Jackie and Hyde's happy endgame was scrapped to give a ready-made story-arc to S8. That also led the showrunners to reconcile J/H temporary to give them a little more time together as a couple, allowing for the cliffhanger of the now-season finale.

J/H's reconciliation episode in S7 is badly written. Probably quickly written, and it shows. It contains no depth, no acknowledgement of their two-and-half years of show time as a couple. It defaults to their status in "Going to California" (5x01) and misinterprets and retcons it to boot.

(Reminds me of how T7S writer and T9S showrunner Gregg Mettler admitted he used Wikipedia to remind himself of the T7S characters' basic characterization and storylines instead of actually watching the show again for the most accuracy.)

When I became co-mod of the T7S board, I read through over fifteen years of posts (did my due diligence so I could be as knowledgeable as possible about T7S, behind-the-scenes info, and the fandom. The number of posts I read is staggering (we're talking close to 100,000), not just from my board but every T7S-related boarding on Fan Forum.

I also followed links to the fansites, using the Internet Wayback Machine when necessary. Found interviews with cast members and producers (transcribed, early podcasts, and filmed). Read through the Live Journal fandom and any other T7S message boards I found. I was beyond thorough. I treated my new post like getting a PhD in T7S.

Talk about hyperfixation (but I had my reasons 😅). My memory for this kind of info is scary. I might not remember how the contents of my dresser drawer have been arranged for over a decade, but I'm the person who naturally memorized her most interesting college classes and could recite their entirety to people (who were interested) for years after I graduated.

So it was with the T7S info I learned. Spoilers from taping reports with alternate takes and scenes ultimately cut from the aired episodes. The words I read while in a grocery store checkout line of the S8 showrunners from a TV Guide (I believe) interview and how unhappy I was upon learning they hated J/H's relationship and were reverting it back to their season-1 dynamic (as they [mis]understood it).

By repeating all this info for a decade to people who asked, it remained with me. I shared some of my findings on this blog with links. But to get the full picture, one would have to read all the posts and fansites, etc., which is a ridiculous task. So I do my best to provide what what specifics I can.

When I was a co-mod of the T7S board, we still had people visit who interacted with T7S creators. One person, for instance, had interviewed Mark Brazill (the man who came up with the major concepts of T7S) for his own site and posted the transcript for us.

I'm sorry that I can't help you find the actual original scripts (I'd love to read them myself), but if one watches T7S's latter half, original parts are still evident -- as are where stories were spliced and rewritten.

[greensagephase]

OKAY I CAN PUR MY WORDS INTO ESSAYS

Let me begin. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHHYYHHYHHHHSHXGJ THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING RVER. I WAS GIGGLING BLUSHING KICKING MY FEET AS I WAS READING!!! reader and miguel thinking of each other first for everything has me sobbing. like he literally wants us?? i love me a gentleman. men who do anything for you? men who don’t let you lift a finger? that’s miguel. GOD. HE WAS SO CUTE ANS SWEET. HE COOKED FOOD FOR READER!!!! A WHOLE FEAST!! TOOK HER BAGS. SERVED. HER. PLATE. it’s over. i want him.

second oh em gee the part where lyla pokes fun at miguel for looking at reader and getting caught smiling is so funny. miguel you’re so close yet so far. no one looks at their friends like that. (sike i do but still) gonna draw that and have it out likely by tomorrow!! :DD (me when i should be studying for finals)

the physical touch part got me GOOD. the fact that he took notice of that just speaks to me. like…say you wanna hug reader rn. say you wanna kiss rn. 🙄. HEHEH SORRY BUT AHHHHH it’s so cute !!! i love that reader is more open to physical touch as well because so am i haha and if i’m sitting next to a friend? boom. arm wrapped around theirs and my head on their shoulder immediately. it’s so comfortable.

ANYWAYS gonna go study for finals cause i’m a medical student and erm i haven’t even started 😁😁😁😁😁😁 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!!! CANT WAIT FRO PRT 11

You and me both were giggling and kicking our feet - seriously, I bet I look crazy sometimes when I'm writing these parts between Miguel and reader and just giggling to myself but what can I say? This man has me in my feelings all the time!!! 🥲BUT MIGUEL BEING A GENTLEMAN? FACTUAL. I KNOW HE IS. Don't ask me how I know but it's true! Him cooking a whole meal (let's not forget this man bought the ingredients ahead of time, too !!), him asking to take her bag - and serving her a plate - I was getting all the feels!!

Omg Lyla teasing Miguel for smiling and staring at reader had me giggling like AHHH!! He doesn't even know it yet and Lyla is just there like "let's see how long it takes him to figure it out!" but OMG YES, MORE FANART FROM YOU, THANK YOU!! 😭😭 and it's going to be that part!! I need it now but also no pressure and please study for your finals, which by the way, good luck!!!! I know you got this!!!!❤️❤️

The physical touch part 🤭 in my head he wished he was Peter B. in that moment!!! I genuinely can't wait for them to have full on physical touch without it being accidental or like necessary, like when reader was looking after him and having to touch him to take care of his wounds, you know? But to comfort each other, I can't wait! It's coming soon! And I'm the same way!! Physical touch is my love language and sadly everyone around me doesn't like it much, especially because my body is always cold to the touch 😭 but it really is just so comfortable!!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the drabble, I honestly didn't think you guys were going to like it that much!! It makes me very happy that I wrote it, haha! I also can't wait to see the fanart but again, please study, friend!! I imagine it's a lot of medical terminology and/or anatomy based info, so take your time!! Have a great night and take care!!! ❤️❤️❤️

-Alondra

[party-in-eldarya]

hola gatitos, let's start episode 8. Last time wedanced with our LI (or not, depeding of choices) and we could move with them in right direction. 7th episode was quite packed with interactions, let's see what they will do this time.

Erika wakes up late and starts thinking about the ball. She managed to talk to Leiftan, aksed him to dance and it wasn't awkward, they were sharing feelings, there was some good chemistry, she decided she wants to be very close to him. Nice, nice:

...oh.

I hate to be that person, but usually, when you are in intimate relationship with person you love (and during TO we were told that we love our LIs, it's ANE that makes all our dates seem only physical), anyway, Erika was sleeping with Leiftan a lot and you know. Surely, there should be moments when they were close also emotionally? At least on Leifta's route them discovering that special bond makes this sentence make some sense but on others... You know what? I will just leave you with some pearls of wisdom from Erika:

Erika is right, she is not ready for any relationship- but not because she changed so much, it's because she is a cold, self-centered child overestimating herself. She asks him to join her at the ball- right when he wants to leave the Crystal room discreetly, she dances with him the first dance (after HH told everyone it's meant for someone SPECIAL to us), she was having v warm and heady thoughts about Leiftan and she allowed him to feel them- without any protest. And now she wonders if things will get weird between them.

Gaaa! If it's true that Eldarya has many writers, then they should give each of them a route to write, because I feel like those lines were written by different person. Last time she was hopeful they will reconcile, today she decided she has changed so much.

Beemoov, Beemoov. I see what you are doing here, and you failed. Wanted to make all routes go head to head, so that every player would stop complain? Well, it's quite impossible, you see, you picked old routes- with chance of "continuing" our romance and new ones, that need time spent together to bloom. Instead of Leiftan (in love with Erika since episode 1 of TO) getting cold feet you should focus on Erika and Leiftan regaining their trust. I love this character, but he has nothing in common with canon Erika.

...but now that she did, she almost feel guilty. Because??? It makes sense if Erika (Imogene) was on Ezarel/Valkyon's route, but... why is she feeling guilty? Add some lines, you are laready wasting my maana, add one sentence WHY IS SHE FEELING GUILTY!!! That she is falling in love while Eldarya is heading to it's doom? That she is flirting with traitor? WHY?

Erika decides to avoid him because. Children, do not do it. You are allowed some me-time, but never ghost someone. Explain that you need some time to clear your thoughts etc etc. Our task for now is to go and eat something. And, I got it- lines like "I woke up the next morning", "I was hungry, I had to go to eat smth", "We left for a mission" are necessary. They help to glue narration. You cannot write a game (or novel, ff whatever) without any of those... mundane, simple sentences. BUT Beemoov tends to overwrite them because maana TM, and sometimes it feels like I am in a very typical fanfiction. "I woke up, did make up, dress up in top with cleavage and go to the kitchen".

Pffffff. Everyone woke up earlier and went for a training and preparing for a war but our Erika. Who didn't even know that such things are planned. Erika "I can be an important person here".

CHOICE.

We can thank her, ask a v decent question why nobody told us, or stress over being late and noticed by everyone. Honestly, I don't know which choose. The wrong one is most logical. Ewelein is in Light Guard and it's a valid problem if such info is not given to everyone. But I guess she will get offended, right? Ewelein is a rare guest on my route, so I will thank her- although it's not like she wanted to tell us, it was just an accident. Well, role-playing, my Imogene would thank her for telling. And yess, everyone was already there, training. Why nobody told Erika?

Leiftan is here, he is v sweet, but that idiot also called our MC is sooo nervous and doesn't want to be near him because. Reasons. This could be a perfect moment of saying "I need some time to think about us Leiftan". Sure, HE would understand?

You are simply horrible, Erika. Your LI just admitted that thanks to you he decided to face his fears and come back to society and you only think about yourself. Trash.

This is a face of man, who realized he wasted half his life on a trash.

Shut up, Erika. I have all Leiftan's illus from TO and I know you spent most of the time with him horizontally. No one asks you to shag him during training, but a normal conversation would be natural. Proof that ANE Erika is 19 yo at most. No way she was studying, spending time with people, socializing. CHOICE- we can pat ourselves on a back because "we were not ready for this shit" or admit that this was a shitty move. Guess which one I picked?

What, you asked? A writer who never had a conversation with human being.

I must admit Koori is right.

I know- you would have more maana. Converstation was ok, but whole concept of grand training right after the party, when everyone is tired is laughable. AND NOONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE TRAINING!!!

...which is funny, Erika observes that guardsmen are fighting rather... slugishly.

Erika is tired, and contrary to you, she is not a faerie. All she got are her aengel powers that come and go. The most she can do atm is shield. She doesn't have great regeneration, strength, agility, nothing. Again, what was the point of doing training right after whole-night long party?

But we have to have this High School moment. And Leif arrives, and that little bugbed, Erika:

This is a difference between adult woman (Koori) and immature teen (Erika). You can act normally and be civil, even if you are not ready for The Talk. Read and weep.

Koori and Leiftan spar. Beemoov, care to explain why Leiftan, the best warrior of Eel in TO is exhausted after short training with Koori (who surrended btw)? I understand that he is reluctant when fighting with her, but why is he tired? Unlike Erika he has all advantages of being pure blood aengel... (lol at Karenn saying "here comes the other last of the aengels").

I mean, we know why. Half of his life forces wasted on Erika. She really sends mixed signals, you know?

Fun fact. Huang Chu asks Koori for some help with creating portals, but no one asks Erika (IMPORTANT PERSON MIND YOU). Who, on my playthrough is in Absinth. Perhaps Nevra is not the only person with whom Ezarel exchange letters. Erika decides she will have a picnic with Karenn and is already nervous that vampiress will ask her about love life, Leiftan and stuff. OMG OMG, so embarassing OMG. Nope.

LIIIMIT.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi. I'd really appreciate your help with typing me. I'm pretty sure I use Ne and Si but I can't decide on whether I'm a Fi or a Ti user.

Some info:

- I've always struggled with my emotions. They always had more power over me than I had over them. I'm specifically talking about sadness and anxiety. However, it takes a lot to make me express anger and to lash out at people (I can't recall when I last did that).

- If I could I'd sit all day and think. Real world and physical experiences don't mean much to me. I feel really uncomfortable using Se for example.

- I struggle to form strong opinions on anything and I'm pretty indecisive. I'm not afraid to honestly share my point of view though.

- I was and am very self aware. I used to think that other people must be very, very stupid and I'm definitely better because I present myself as smart (now I think that this was a really bad way of seeing things and I've definitely matured).

- I think a lot. I love systematizing and cathegorizing things like social circles, people and new information I learn. I also have a great desire to make sense of everything I stumble upon. I have a lot of theories about pretty much everything.

- I can be very harsh and negative sometimes. Often I forget that my words do affect other people and I feel bad for it.

- I think I understand other people pretty well but I do catch myself on a) listening to people only to feel better about myself and b) understanding them through my own experiences.

- It takes a lot for me to decide I dislike someone. I'm not very judgmental about people and I try to understand their point of view. I think that everyone is different and they shouldn't be judged for it.

- Self expression is hard for me (I rewrote this ask countless times) and I struggle to communicate clearly sometimes.

- I'm not too much of a leader. Managing people is hard and I don't feel comfortable enforcing anything on anyone.

After writing that I think that Fi is more obvious but I'm not sure.

Hi anon! I actually think you are an INTP and don't have Fi.

Based on your general preference to thinking over action and not feeling very tied to the physical world, coupled with indecision, high Ne seems very likely. From the description here, you sound fairly introverted as well.

A lot of this can either be attributed to general behaviors for anyone, might be specific to you but not MBTI-specific (eg: anxiety, being negative sometimes); or is a bit too subjective to type (unless someone actively demonstrates self-awareness I can corroborate, it's really hard to judge someone's own self-assessment), but the following, to me, indicate Ti over Fi:

Difficulty forming strong opinions. Fi doms can be indecisive over action but they often have fairly strong ideas of what they like and dislike. They also tend to develop judgments of other people fairly easily; while many Fi users are quite open-minded, they also tend to have strong boundaries and "live and let live" doesn't mean they don't have their deeply felt preferences.

Arrogance specifically tied to seeing one's self as smarter is something far more common in immature thinkers (note: not tied to whether they're ACTUALLY smarter; it's just that doing this is something I see more in high Ti and Te users, myself included).

Systemizing, categorizing, and theorizing to understand everything whether or not it's necessary is usually considered one of the hallmarks/most common themes among high Ti users.

Feelers are often much more comfortable with self-expression.

So: my guess is you're an INTP, but perhaps a 6 or 9 eneagram rather than a 5 and therefore may not have fit some of the more aggressively 5 enneatype descriptions.

[atmymercy]

Hi, how are you? I would like join your tarot especial!

Quote that reminds me of you:

Mostly because you generally give me the vibes of someone who does her best to look at the brighter side of situations and to keep going regardless of fear. Let me know how you feel about it tho lol I personally loved this quote and is often a great motivator for me :)

My question: what should I expect for my love life in the next 3 months?

Thank you so much for your attention, time and energy!

hello gsp! i'm pretty great! how about you?? and of course, you can! woot! let's do this!

awww thank you, honey! i really do try because honestly, i used to look into the darkness way too much! lolol but hell, it's right there! it's a bit hard to ignore, right?? lol plus we all have a dark side and i think when we neglect that darkness, it can become overwhelming. finding sweetness in all shades has really brought me a lot of triumphs! "i had to go through hell" lol thank you, spirit! yes! so yes! i think you got me good, honey! lol might as well grab what we can now because this moment shall never return! love it!

for you, i got the knight of cups (reversed), death (reversed) & the sun.

so your spirit guides are saying you will have some success in love within three months but only after you make some necessary changes, regarding yourself and how you view love. it would seem you are not acting in the most mature way when it comes to love. i'm hearing spirit is trying to send you options and love matches but you disregard them for sometimes petty reasons. or for reasons that of being immature when you are also showing some of these same shades. aka you don't like who we are sending you? well they're only sending those options become you continue to stay on this emotional maturity level rather than leveling up! you're ready to level up but you also know how much hard work it is! so you kind of want to drag your feet about it but your spirit guides are saying that all the "good men" have already been through these lessons too! so time to join them over there! lol your spirit guides are blunt right now!

hope you enjoyed it! please give feedback or buy me a coffee when you can! if you want to explore this further, please consider a private read as well. also thank you for sharing with me!♡

love & light!

-tea

as always, my rules & info are in my pinned post if you're interested in a reading of your own!

[fraks]

i hate making posts like this, but i am honestly at a loss as to what to do, and maybe someone here has an idea. for the record: i live in germany, so solutions that might work in the united states probably won't work for me.

i'm the child of a mentally ill mother and a neglectful father. growing up, i was systematically abused, both psychologically and emotionally, by my father's girlfriend while he stood and watched, and still to this day denies it ever happened. i developed c-ptsd and social anxiety disorder as a result. i had two rounds of cbt years ago, which, while good for me, didn't "cure" me, and all the meds i tried didn't help either.

that's not even the problem though, only necessary background info. in august of 2020, my partner of 13 years suddenly up and left me for someone else. unable to sleep or eat, i was put on sick leave for a few months, which cost me my job and, subsequently, my apartment. with the housing market being what it is, plus the covid situation, i wasn't able to find a new place and have been officially homeless since march 2021. i stayed with my little brother for a bit, but my "family" eventually abandoned me, too, when i didn't get better fast enough, and threw me out.

none of my "friends" were able or willing to help, either, until i reconnected with an old internet buddy on the other side of the country who, without any hesitation, offered me her guest room for however long i needed it. i hate having to rely on near-strangers (we hadn't been in contact for years), but i was in no position to refuse. so i am currently staying in said guest room. the problem? my friend and her husband are ultra-religious evangelical nutjobs. as in, if they knew i was queer, i would be thrown out immediately. and as in, they hit their toddler when she doesn't obey them because proverbs say it's okay to hit your kids. and of course my friend isn't vaccinated, just to complete the picture.

i don't know how much longer i can survive being here. my friend lives in a tiny village (population of 720), so there's no public transport and i'm stuck inside this house (and mainly this one room) nearly 24/7. my social anxiety disorder makes it impossible for me to just apply for unemployment benefits—i'm trying, but the system isn't meant for people who are unemployed and homeless at the same time, and i'm falling through the cracks. i need to get back to my hometown of berlin (so i can finish my engineering degree), but to get an apartment there, i need to prove i have an income, and to get an income, i need a proper place to stay. i also need to prove i've paid my rent for the past three months, but as i haven't lived in a rental place of my own since march, i don't have that proof, which means my application for apartments automatically gets thrown out for being incomplete.

and amidst all this chaos, my brain has decided now is the perfect time to relive all the childhood trauma and i get at least one major panic attack per day. i don't remember when i last spent a day without crying. and ofc i can't see a therapist because i need to know where i'll be staying for a few months before i can be put on any therapist's waiting list. oh and i'm about to lose my health insurance cause unless i get unemployment benefits or find a new full-time job, i'd have to pay nearly 300€ a month, which i simply do not have, especially given that i'm already paying 500€+ a month from my meagre savings for a storage unit that has all my stuff in it.

until now, i've survived by talking to online buddies like @justplainsalty and @leliesblou and @cminerva and others in the mfmm+leverage fandoms in particular, and reading posts by @wilwheaton and @furiousgoldfish on abuse and trauma to reaffirm i'm not crazy, but i am so profoundly lonely in this place, and i honestly don't see myself surviving long beyond the new year.

so if anyone has any ideas or advice on what to do, please reach out, and feel free to reblog or share in other ways if you know anyone who might be able to help.

[akookminsupporter]

So I am pretty new to the kpop world but I just wanted to know, is it a normal thing for companies to share their artists’ sensitive health info and diagnoses like that? I mean, I understand the Covid news because we’re in a pandemic and thats a matter of public health, even though I still feel like that’s something they should let the artist disclose themselves if they wish to, but sharing artists’ symptoms, diagnoses and treatment feels a bit like crossing the line to me. I mean, It’s nice to know that jimin’s procedure was successful and to be able to send him positive thoughts and prayers, but I would have done just as well hearing about his medical issues from HIM whenever he was ready to share it himself. I would have been also completely fine never knowing about it at all. As someone who works in healthcare its alarming that they just put people’s health info out there like that. I know they wish to keep fans informed but they could have just as easily said “jimin had a health issue and is seeking treatment and is currently doing well” or something to that effect, maintaining his privacy while still keeping fans in the know. I was similarly alarmed a couple weeks aback to see that the company of Taemin from Shinee shared his mental health diagnoses in a public statement. I guess in kpop it’s part of the artists’ contract to give their companies the authority to share their medical info shared like that?? Idk it just doesn’t seem right to me. Anyway, wishing jimin a speedy recovery and hope he’s back on his feet soon.

I'm going to chalk what you said up to the fact that you are new to the bts world. The relationship between bts and its fans is different and closer, more honest but with many limitations too.

Your ask basically reminds me of the stereotype, which in many cases is true, that idols are controlled by their agencies, that everything about them is controlled by their agencies without taking into account the artist's opinion or wishes. But I honestly believe that is not the case with bts. And it's something they have proven for many years now.

I'm pretty sure that the information BigHit shared about Jimin's health status was done with his permission. From what to say and what not to say.

BigHit usually never shares more than necessary with the public about the lives of their artists, including their health status. They usually release a statement with general information without going into too much detail. They usually don't make updates after that first statement and wait until the end to say: The artist is fine.

When Yoongi decided to have his surgery there were rumours in the Korean press, a day later BigHit confirmed it and after that, we didn't hear anything else, until Yoongi himself told us more about the surgery, recovery and therapy. I wouldn't be surprised if something similar happened now. The same thing happened recently when Tae hurt his foot and the same thing happened when Jin, Joon and Yoongi contracted Covid.

I imagine what happened with Taemin is similar. His struggle with depression and anxiety is real, it must be even more real for those who have to do compulsory military service in Korea, sharing that information will most likely help many people and also shows the reality or consequences of that obligation. Probably that was one of the motivations for Taemin to authorise the agency to publish this information. But I can't say much about this because I don't know anything about Taemin and his relationship with his agency.

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[confused-beany]

Iron Widow review: 4/5

Spoiler and rant alert

.

.

I really really want to give it a 5 out of 5. But I have a reason.

Perspective.

Iron Widow is a story told from the pov of a very angry girl going absolutely feral and getting worse. I love that for her but it doesn't leave much room for the world.

XJZ did really good work at showing first person pov and the limitations because of it. I get what Zetian thinks and her thought process and feelings. But little to no context on HOW she has that thought process because that backstory is probably traumatic or just not relevant enough to think in too much detail for Zetian.

(I can make assumptions that Zetian started noticing the discrimination and differences in treatment properly when she met Yizhi and he introduced her to a ~whole new world~ . And her sister's death probably pushed her off the edge, from where she kept digging till she was holding the heart of her ruined world in her hands only it was so rotten that even crushing it would not bring anything but more misery.... but in the end, they're assumptions. I'll never know. That's not where the story starts)

I couldn't get much info on how much Zetian's big sister meant to her and how that effected and shaped her as a person. So I, personally couldn't really get into Zetian's extreme thirst for revenge even when I was cheering her on. Similarly, because it's all seen from Zetian's perspective and kind of in a vague sense in the mind share thingy, she has to be TOLD about Li Shimin's backstory and I couldn't really care about that. (I love that boy but I was kinda meh about that entire reveal tbh). A few things like this were just Told, when they would've been better showed. I had to take at face value and I don't like that kind of storytelling so it kind of dampened the experience for me.

On top of that, because it's all background and probably irrelevant information for Zetian I didn't find out much about the world system and how it really works, which is something I really love about stories and I always look forward to the most. Or the Hunduns, who Zetian doesn't care for at all. It works in favor of the shock I got at the end (WHAT THE FUCK???) but I have so many questions that are going to go unanswered.

Also we see Zetian doing all these frankly mind blogging things but because we don't really have any perspective, it doesn't have much impact besides personal satisfaction. I wanted to see an impact, the BOOM that happened everytime Zetian did something insane and how that kept effecting even when she walked out of the room.

And the last thing that really didn't do anything for me... the relationship. Everyone's gonna get angry at me but, I wasn't really feeling it with these three? I'm very happy for them but I also do not care at all that they got together? Which was one of the selling points for me at first, so the getting together bit was kind of disappointing when I read it. It felt a little bit rushed and impersonal, how they just did that with like two conversations.

This is most likely because I'm ruined by slow burn and agony in romance and mtxt's ridiculously long but satisfying stories tho. So it's probably just me. But... ehhhhh?

Aside from these things tho I LOVED IT.

The setup and the concepts, Pacific Rim meets Handmaiden's Tale *chef's kiss*. The transforming robots, the five elements and qi cultivation, the wall, the descriptions, the absolute mad feralness sparks immense joy.

I like how unhinged Wu Zetian is and she doesn't "get better" like most ya protagonist do. She just keeps getting angrier and more op. And I'm all for it. She's angry and she owns it. Some might say it's edgy and how all of her terrible acts are framed to make her look cool, well she IS cool AND you're seeing everything from her perspective. Of course her everything is justified go her. And honestly, Wu Zetian did nothing wrong ever. I'll die on that hill.

I love love love Li Shimin. Big soft nerd who'd kill if necessary but also feel bad about it is honestly one of my favourite character tropes. When he did that thing with the chain I totally felt what Zetian felt. I would want that too.

And Yizhi... everyone knows I'm all for sweet characters who are absolutely bonkers on the inside and support their gremlins. He did everything right and I love him.

So, I loved the main characters and how, despite their differences, they'll fight to the death for everything they believe in. The side characters did their part good at making me hate, doubt, be tentatively hopeful about and absolutely loathe at the end (y'all know who I'm talking about). And I loved the plot twist where we find out how the girls are discriminated against.

In conclusion

GO READ IRON WIDOW!!

[c-ptsdrecovery]

I have a question. As someone who has been living with a narcissistic parent for most of my life, I find it hard to get them to support me in anything I do. I understand that this is something that may not happen, so do you have any advice for me personally so I don't end up having an anxiety attack everytime I have a conversation with said parent about my career choice.

Here’s the thing: you’re probably not going to be able to get them to support you. You can’t make people have the reactions you want, and you DEFINITELY can’t get a narcissist to treat you right just by asking. I tried for years to get my narcissistic parent to approve of me, and it never really worked.

So the problem needs a reframe.  Instead of getting the narcissistic parent to support you, you need to find a way to be okay with the fact that they’re not supporting you.

That’s hella difficult at first, especially if you’re young, still living with your parents, or still at least partially financially dependent on them. Nonetheless, it can be done, and it gets easier and easier as you get more and more physical and emotional distance from them. I definitely recommend working with a trauma therapist, and also looking for healthy friendships and getting your emotional support from them, instead.

Meanwhile, you need a whole new way to interact with your narcissistic parent, a technique that cuts down on the amount they’re able to hurt you. The best technique I’ve found is called Grey Rock. Basically, you don’t give the narcissist any information to work with. Does discussing your career with your parent lead to them triggering you? Discuss it with them as little as possible. Does sharing your feelings with your parent lead to them triggering you? Don’t share your feelings with them. Answer questions with as little information as possible, and as dispassionately as possible. Reduce eye contact and reduce time spent with them. Keep interactions as short as possible. And don’t TELL them you’re going to do these things; just do them. More info at the link. (There are lots of articles about this technique online!)

I’ve used this technique myself, both while living with my parents and now, while still in necessary contact with them, and I was surprised at how well it worked. My parents had conditioned me to bring everything that was troubling me to them, and I realized that and just... stopped doing it. I took my problems to my online friends or my therapist or took a deep breath and told myself I could handle it on my own, because my own judgment was perfectly fine: I didn’t need their approval. I stopped showing my mom my art projects. I stopped telling her about my day or asking her advice. I spent as much time in my room with the door shut as possible and stopped participating in most of the dinnertime conversation. 

One key to this is that being a grey rock doesn’t mean being rude. You don’t want to antagonize them. That would also be giving them material to work with. So now that I’m living with friends and really only having contact with my parents through messenger, I try not to show how much I wish they would leave me alone. Example of a recent exchange with my mother:

Mom:  Happy birthday, Sweetie! Treat yourself and the girls to some special takeout for dinner tonight and put it on the credit card. <3 I love you and I miss you like crazy!

Me: love you too! [I feel icky having to say that to my parents, but I look on it as a meaningless politeness phrase, which helps. Not saying it back would cause a kerfuffle, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, so I just say it when it’s conversationally necessary]

Mom: I wished I could have taken you along when I ordered my new glasses. I’m not good at picking frames. Tell me what you honestly think... and yes, they are purplish pinkish burgundy. [photo]

Me: i think they look ok

Mom: Different! They came with magnetic clip-on sunglasses.

Me: neat!

Mom: I didn’t really like my photo-greys. These were in my price range, so why not?

Me: yep

I keep it as brief and noncommittal as possible, no unnecessary information, no personal information about me, nothing she can really build a conversation on.

Another example is that my dad is always sending me cartoons he finds online. I have no interest in reading them, so usually I just send back “lol” and that’s that.

I’m sorry; I wish I could say, “You wave a magic wand and suddenly your parents are everything you ever needed them to be!” But having spent years looking for that wand in my own case, I’m afraid it isn’t there to be found. However, if you work on your own recovery and reorient yourself toward independence and healthy friendships for your emotional support, you can live a happy life without your parents’ support! It hurts at first, but it’s worth it in the end.

[memoriesofthecircularroom]

I'm gonna info dump for a sec about AVH because its a bit broader a symptom than most people think(note AVH is a symptom not a disorder). Firstly AVH are very common in all sort of psychotic disorders but do more rarely occur in healthy(or atleast non psychotic individuals). AVH can present as either belonging to no one in particular(often several people talking) or as belonging to specific entities(also possibly several people). These entities can be anything really but tend to skew toward spiritual entities, religious or mythological figures, public figures, and people the effected know well. These voices almost invariably are reported as being outside the control of the effected but generally cannot act outside of just talking.  AVH's can "sound" like they originate from within your head or outside of it and some people have a hard time telling the difference and others don't. Despite auditory being in the name they can manifest as communicating via other or multiple sensory modes(sight, touch, smell, ect) or as "unvoiced" messages(that's a whole other can of worms, but its relevant as one of our members communicates primarily through touch and "unvoiced" messages as she cant talk). Its also a symptom that is highly influenced by culture with individuals from parts of the world where its more socially acceptable being more likely to report positive emotional valence and helpful interactions from their voices. Also the DSM has exceptions for culturally significant possessions and spirits exactly because AVH's are so culturally influenced. Anyway we wanted to talk about it because it very much does kinda describe what we have going on but also it doesn't. On one hand our members are definitely not JUST the result of AVH as we can and do switch when necessary. but, also we experience transient spirits that are not members and definitely AVH and have no control of the body? but also we used to switch a lot more often but stopped needing to as much and got a lot more control over it after we learned to start working together. We prefer to operate simultaneously with one another when we can now and rarely switch as we all can comfortable share front most of the time? also I think at least one member developed out of AVH as a command hallucination authority? its all very confusing and making this hangover brutal. This is turning into word barf yikes. Knowing a bunch about AVH has not helped me figure out at all what we "really" have going on. But its very interesting reading and does help us contextualize our situation. Honestly at least for us just treating our members as real and worthy of mutual respect did more to help us than actually knowing or trying to figure out what to call our situation. Thanks for listening! I think I have links to papers on the topic somewhere if you are the kind of folks that likes reading dry science papers.

The Science part of my brain is hypothesizing about how much of the plural community might qualify as experiencing AVH, and how it relates to non disordered systems given the fact that AVH can and does occur in non pathological adults. I get the feeling there is some kind of venn diagram situation here even if we(royal we) are the only one in the overlap. This would definitely be a question for actual qualified professionals tho and actual studies but we are all free to hypothesize :p

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Thank you for your submission!! This is all very very interesting information :)