#and i have it easy too; being canadian. i feel so bad for the more remote countries; or even just eu ones | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myjunkisyuzuruhanyu · 8 months

Note

I have heard Canadian commentators say a few times that Patrick is a better skater than Yuzuru and Shoma. In GPF 2014, Kurt Browning praised Yuzuru so much, but in the end he ended up saying Patrick is a bigger skater than Yuzuru. And in Skate Canada 2017, Tracy Wilson said that Shoma does not fill the ice like Patrick does. However, I found their comments one-sided and I think Patrick is not as amazing as they claimed. Especially compared to Shoma's artistry, I find Patrick a bit boring. Of course he is a good skater and his edges are spectacular, but neither Shoma nor Yuzuru are below his level for me. Of course, too many years have passed, but I compare their skills based on the years when these comments were made. What do you think about these statements? Do you think Patrick was better in terms of artistry and do you think the commentators really thought Patrick is better or was it because they are all Canadians that they felt the need to say that?

Well...I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This "x being better than y" I am not sure it's that easy. Every skater has their strengths and weaknesses. Patrick's strength has always been his skating skills. I think a lot is based on taste especially in the artistry department. I mean there are ppl who will find Yuzu and Shoma boring.

Nowadays I would not agree about Patrick being a better skater than Yuzu and Shoma, but I do think both commentators had a point at that time the comments were made:

In 2014 Patrick was the skater with 3 world titles and the only skater to constantly break the 9s in the PCS category, so overall the view on Patrick was generally speaking that Patrick was a better skater than Yuzu. And Yuzu himself said in his Aoi Hono autobiography that Patrick is better at PCS especially skating skills. Patrick was the main inspiration for Yuzu to work on his component scores. So at that time Patrick really used more of the rink (ice coverage), had better edges (he maybe still has the best edges as a single skater) and more complex programs than Yuzu had. So in a way Patrick skated "bigger" than Yuzu. Yuzu has developed a lot also back in 2014 but Yuzu's skills back then and now are not comparable, he just got this much better. Nowadays also Patrick Chan himself said about Yuzu that he may be the Greatest skater of all time and while Patrick first was sad about missing the Olympic title 2014 he didn't feel he was worthy of that title back then. Imo Yuzu had a lot rough edges back in 2014 and bc of his raw energy you could see him panting very heavily after his skates (also bc of his asthma ofc but he couldn't control the energy that well, he learned that later). I think he lacked the precision that Patrick had back when. But we have to see the age difference. Patrick had been on the Worlds podium since 2009 and had been even longer in the sport, Yuzu was only 17 years old when he won his first Worlds medal in 2012, it's only natural that Yuzu still needed time to grow and my goodness Yuzu's growth in this sport is not comparable to anyone's. Yuzu is the master, but if we would need to name one person that made Yuzu hyped up to improve his skating it was Patrick.

As for Shoma back in 2017 the comment of Tracy is true. It's not about artistry (bc that's taste) but about ice coverage and Shoma back when was fast and had good skating skills already but Patrick was years in the business and his ice coverage and skating skills were unmatched (the only one who ever matched his skills was Yuzu). Patrick had one foot skating at that point that went from one side of the rink to the other. It doesn't mean Shoma was bad, but Patrick is really extraordinary in that area. This is not about artistry it's about the technical aspect of handling the skates. Patrick being boring? Well that's also taste but I also think Patrick back in 2017 was not as motivated as when he came back in 2016 and I think that showed in a way. I am not sure if you're aware but soon after SC 2017 Patrick hung up his skates and didn't skate for 6+ weeks and it needed his teammates to bring him back for his last Olympics. So I'd say Shoma and Patrick at that point were lightyears away from each other in terms of motivation and wanting to perform.

Do I think Patrick was more artistic than Shoma back in 2017? I dunno...I liked Shoma better. If you would ask someone else you'd get a different opinion. I think in the end it comes down to taste. And just saying "artistry" is not part of the judging. Someone can be a great performer and still have "bad" skating skills and poor ice coverage for example look at Donovan Carillo, his performance skills and artistry is superb, yet he lacks in the technical basic aspects in skating apart from just jumps. There is a reason "artistry" is not part of the scoring. Artistry is just hella subjective. (Not saying the PCS or judging in general is objective bc it has lots of problems but just looking at the rules themselves there is a certain objectivity wanted that makes it a sport. Or it would not be a sport)

I think Canadian commentators vary in taste and opinion too. Ofc if a skater is Canadian and you're a Canadian commentator that may have a certain influence too. Yet I don't see the Canadian commentators as especially biased contrary to the US (nbc) or Russian commentators (when you read the translations). But tbf as I tend to listen mostly to German commentators I also didn't hear much English commentary outside the National championships.

#figure skating #shoma uno #yuzuru hanyu #patrick chan #replies

17 notes · View notes

variousqueerthings · 5 days

Text

OK we finished the episode

idk if it's better to do this before watching the final episode, because i assume it'll contain REAP-RRRR-CUSHNS but I'm gonna do it now

um. idk. bro i think you misread trauma bonding and guilt as love? literally gets triggered into seeing snow falling when he thinks about her 🤪😩

ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS:

why was she there? TO FUCK HIS SHIT UP THAT'S WHAT (woo). Ok, no seriously, she is there to have her cake (frame fraser and get her revenge) and eat it too (keep that sweet canadian cutie with her). she's a fucked up lil gal and I do like that (but i will get into some of the bits that made me hmmmm) (her fucking shit up is great tho!)

why was she so quick to fall into his arms after he put her away?see above. she genuinely did want to get him. the other pertinent question is "how does this work with the ways in which i read fraser's state of mind and how she uses that against him GIRL TRIED TO KILL DIEFENBAKER??? FRASER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

what is she hoping to get out of him in part 2, considering how part 1 ended? bonnie and clyde situation. actually most of my Stuff with this episode doesn't have to do with her writing (except for the last scene, i was a bit eh on that, tbc)

will we get more context for their emotional connection outside of the story about the snowstorm? no. it really is that. i should add actually that there is also the guilt of him giving her up afterwards and that sets up a lot of her both Wanting him (he's a fucking specimen + mythical being wrapped up in a cutie-patootie overly earnest packaging) and Hating him (he put her in jail/he's also just... fun to poke at) so will leave it there for a second, because that is Her... now what is up with Him?

THE OTHER QUESTIONS:

how do i feel about the pacing? so episode one improves with episode two, and there are hints in there that things are Off, but mainly. MAINLY I'm talking about the sex scene (ofc i am). so a lot of this is related to fraser-Thoughts about how he feels OOC (unless he doesn't 👀 because she's fucking with him and his feelings and manipulating him into feeling real bad about everything), but it's the difficulty in establishing a real bond between these two that feels real, and while it was obviously important for her to be in his apartment, i think they fell for a classic tv-laziness of "if we just tell the audience + show a little easy montage of them idk. watching tv and play some sexy feely 90s music to do the shortcut" and it's not that I'm against a sex-scene per se (i read asexual aromanticism into waaaay flimsier texts, this one is still pretty darn solid) if she'd come in and been vulnerable and they'd made dinner and she'd given the sob story and he'd fallen asleep and then she'd washed her prints and left and in episode two, when she's at her most "fragile" (or so he thinks) she pushed that into sex.. I think that would have been stronger. played more into her manipulative plan, the ways she has him on a string, the mixed up feelings of trauma and guilt and naivety and hope he has also it would have evened out the episode lengths

how do i feel about how this interacts with previous text vis a vis fraser's emotional internality? ha so, i hmmm... on the one hand the OOC'ness feels like it wasn't totally intentional -- that is the writing also wanted the whole cake + eating it situation, in that it wanted to explore him being used and manipulated by this woman in a way that also kind of wants the whole thing to have an air of "pure love" to it that doesn't gel entirely with the actual text. that is, there could have been more ambiguity to some of it and it wouldn't have weakened anything, it may have been more obviously an abusive/manipulative Thing, but... it kind of already is on the other hand that's what's really fun to read into this dynamic. she really genuinely wants this man, but entirely on her terms. and meanwhile fraser is totally turned around and doesn't know what he wants, so she calls the shots, which is why she's in control of the narrative for so long. she fucks with him by appearing over and over and disappearing in order to stir up all those old memories, that shit is targeted to get to him (and the snow! the snow OH MY GOODNESS that was FASCINATING - bro that reads like a fucking trigger, not love) and to add to that, there's the speech to his dad (which again, part two being what ties it all together) about how his dad never knew his mother and how that ties to love, and I've gotta rewatch that scene, because I think that's what ties it together. his dad asks if it's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I've connected the dots, but I'm not 100% sure if it's all the dots intended but. I have a bias duh) (the dots are that fraser and sex still don't mesh, and fraser was never in love with her) (we'll get to The Train)

how do i feel that this progresses the wider story thematically? I actually cannot answer this until the next episode at least

what do i take from the victoria and fraser relationship? see all of above points, but mainly: I like it. there are a lot of ways one can take it, but mainly I was very happy about her being genuinely quite a nasty person. she tried to kill diefenbaker, she was willing to put ray in prison, she wanted to take everything away from fraser in order to make him totally dependent on her. that's exactly what i wanted -- do I think they reneged on that a bit at the end with the train and made it kind of... try Not to be the fucked up thing that it is, but more of a tragic doomed love. that shit is only doomed and tragic because this woman is a terrible terrible person + manipulative bastard (which is based) (and also because fraser is aroace) (theres a dark!fic in there where she somehow gets fraser with her -- maybe he does get on the train and ray misses and she just. completely destroy him. because that's what she likes to do with him) (it kind of speaks to "the wild bunch" -- if that was civilisation trying to destroy his soul, this was a literal person trying to do the same. and he has so little idea of his own internal self that he has no idea how to stop her or even to stop her. ray was right to try and shoot her)

best parts - fraser confronting his dad. actually all the fraser and his dad scenes, also when he cries - ray. everything ray. ray forever. ray feeling sad and abandoned. ray threatening to kill her. ray putting everything on the line for fraser. ray in part two never doubting fraser for a second. ray knows fraser dammit!!! your own thesis about knowing and love is right there (ok i'm chill) RAY SHOOTING HIM!!!!! ARGH!!!!!! - the story fraser tells the priest. that was all soooo the Dynamic i wanted. the fear and conviction that they were going to die, the kinkiness of putting the hands in the mouth to keep her warm, the guilt that they had this intense moment and he still gave her up, the half-remembered poetry he'd mentioned before, the way he feels kind of crazy thinking about her (because she's out to drive him crazy), i definitely want to listen to that again - the whole bit when she's talking to him through the peep show window up to her kicking him out of the car, everything ramping up is Great and it really solidifies her and her relation to fraser and how she uses him

weakest parts - sex scene just a bit silly and not quite believable in terms of structuring - i just don't buy that ray's reaction to fraser missing work because of a woman would be elation, not because of queer reads, but because it's so blatantly out of character for fraser that it should have provoked a bigger reaction of disbelief, either for positive or for negative. we do get a bit more of that in the second part (when he threatens her), but yeah, it just feels a bit too much like it's playing into the heteronormative shorthand that having sex (with a woman) -- no matter how abnormal for a specific individual -- is the normal thing to aspire to/has created a normalised state of affairs, even though it... obviously hasn't, as witnessed by the whole rest of the episode (and the fact that he didn't go to work is a red flag that something is wrong) - there is some wishy-washy stuff the whole way through in terms of failure to Commit to just how fucked up everything is, as witnessed by ray's initial reaction. at heart, the show does think that sex/romance is normal, and so, fraser has been abnormal the whole time and it wants to create some kind of core of explaining that through a True Tragic Love, while also wanting to play around with some quite fun "what if the villain is into the hero, but is still, inherently, the villain" which we also saw done very well in shows like elementary (not quite like, say, x-men, where magneto believes in a cause, I mean a villain who Is Just Bad) - this mostly evidenced by the train at the end, it's just a bit weak. either she's trying to manipulate him by returning to "sweet and vulnerable" which i truly just don't think he should've fallen for again, (that's the "normalisation" part of it all, it really is love, blablabla) or like. she should've tried to force him on somehow. or a mix of the two, depicting her honest desperation, and also her ruthlessness to play with his feelings in order to get what she wants, because like. she shot diefenbaker. she framed ray. she almost destroyed fraser's whole reason for being

CONCLUSION: I'll wait and see where the next episode goes, but there's a lot to play with in this

i will obvs still be reading him as aroace. now he's just super super traumatised about it, oh well. that's so sad, i need to read/write fic about it

#due south #im watching due south #im watching tv #did i edit any of this? no. unfiltered thoughts only lets go

2 notes · View notes

localgardenweed · 4 months

Text

Looking off into the sunset feeling my soul shatter as I think of my Hetalia KND AU

I think Sector G8/G9 (i cant decide) constantly bicker for some sort of control (Minus Feliciano he is fine just being there hes there for the fun) while the rest are trying to get to leader position for one reason or another. Arthur is FIGHTING to keep that Team Leader role

My idea with Alfred and Matt are that they’re like fightor pilots together, their gag is Alfred cant do shit and always fucks up but Matt always comes in to save the day while Alfred takes all the credit and Matt just has to suck it up and hold back his rage, everyone always forgets he’s there since he’s so quiet but occasionally they’ll notice him when they ran out of maple syrup for pancake day and he sighs and goes down the block to his place to grab a bottle cause his family gets the good shit and he just has to sit there and feel ignored the rest of the time untill they want timbits ot smth hand has to do it all over again. I wanna say they’re half brothers like same dad different moms too, explains why they dont live together and why one kid is violently American and the other Canadian. Or maybe twins and parents got divorced when they were like super young and got remarried and one lived in America and the other Canada. We may never know. Matts older though in both scenarios.

Kiku and Alfred always haul in videogame consoles, they frequently play Super Smash Bros together and like shit gets INTENSE IN THAT TREEHOUSE THERE WILL BE BLOOD, Alfred always loses and he never knows why but secretly Kiku always gives him the bad controller. He is secretly ruthless when it comes to shit like this. Kiku also likes training cadets at Arctic Base from time to time, he can be a little scary. On the flip side he likes to help Feliciano with his homework alongside Ludwig as they try to explain to him how to do long division as Feli just watches and spaces out again. They gave up and thought teaching him to cheat would be easier but no it was just as hard. Kiku likes to bring in ramune sodas and so many poppin cookings like i think its all the kids eat half the time HE ALWAYS BRINGS MORE THEY NEVER SEEM TO RUN OUT. He whips out a waffle one for Alfred for breakfast and watches him lick the cranberry sauce clean off the plastic. He also brings other cool candies cause its kinda one of his only flexes. That and also all the anime he brings, mostly dvd but they’re also only in Japanese so he’s mostly watching them all by himself cause like no one else knows it.

Yao is always off training by himself in his room, beating the shit out of his dummies and having to head down to the shop to buy new ones cause he always ends up wacking their heads and stuffing off. He eats a bunch of candy too to keep his energy up, it is a miracle his teeth haven’t rotted. He likes to go bother Ivan and try to get him to train with him but Ivan just sits in the corner playing with his toy trucks reenacting car crashes and stuff and Yao just says “….lol weirdo, im bringing over leftovers tomorrow for our dinner here at the tree house, do you want those little candies my grandma brought from home?” “Yes please” as he whisper screams acting as the drivers who got into the crash and die. Yao also is also the most athletic of the group, very flexible too.

As you can see Ivan is a little fucked up but he’s kinda just a loner. He feel he doesn’t fit in and Yao kinda hangs out with him but him and Alfred are surely a interesting duo. Arthur makes him work with Alfred sometimes on missions and they kinda cant stand each other but are they ever gonna say that? No. But he also weirdly likes Alfred like “wow he’s so cool…how does he have it so easy?” Thinking he’s the absolute shit when in reality the rest of the sector kinda cant stand him. He mostly just keeps to himself and does what he’s told, but ofc is absolutely fucking terrifying when provoked. But also kinda a little whiney bitch when he gets comfortable.

Francis and Arthur switch on and off to adult busting besties to “I HATE YOU EVEN MORE WHATEVA MAJOR LOSER” with the hand signals and everything. They train alot together and use their angry time as good training time. They fence and sword fight together and also tend to alot of chores around the treehouse. They weirdly respect eachother but also want to see eachother dead. Francis has a pony he keeps in its own stable in the treehouse, he pampers the shit outta it too. He takes it for walks around town and puts it in competitions and DOMINATES competition

Arthur has a whole ass battle ship. He begged Ludwig (2x4 Tech Officer) to build him one and they spent a couple months on it alone to make it perfect (aka Arthur kept adding shit to his list of wants and he went crazy trying to fit it all) but it got done eventually. He breaks for tea time and it’s RELIGIOUS he does not skip a beat to rush over for tea time. He really is a little British boy. I like to think though he does it so no one tries to steal his scones cause he goes out to buy the good ones. Everyone stopped stealing though when he started making copycat scones and they obviously sucked but he didn’t know that he thought his security measures were just so good!! (He put a single trip wire to make you fall forward. Thats it thats the trap) He also gets all his cool outfits commissioned by Taiwan (I dont have a human name for yet </3) who works at global command and makes all the super cool outfits for everyone. He has multiple jackets and like some of these outfits are OUT THERE he pays alot of candy for these things like some got whole ass gems and Egyptian cotton like okaaayyy

No one knows why Feliciano is still here, he doesn’t do shit and super dumb but like he brings good leftovers from his place so ig he can stay. He was a boy scout with Ludwig till he was like “Lets join KND” and he just said “Ok!”. He helps Ludwig the best he can by mostly just handing him shit but he makes himself useful somehow.

Ludwig is a absolute nerd, and also kinda a suck up like its actually so weird to think he’s in the KND cause he seems like super like “we must respect adults at all times!!” But no he has a fire in him, he cant stand them, he puts up with them but he cant stand em really. They did smth he can never forgive…anyway he’s always making new 2x4 tech for his sector and goes to alot of conventions. He’s kinda just a nerd like i said but he does et loose. He loves to play with trains and cars, has a whole model train set he made himself and also kinda a minecraft gamer. Ok so my timeline js weird cause idk if im making this in early 2000’s like the og show or in the modern day but ehhhhh whatever. Anyway when Kiku and Alfred are done playing Smash Bros and throwing hands he plops down to load up Minecraft, he loves to do redstone and also just play survival and ya know, tough it out. He plays with Feliciano but he sucks but he still lets him play. He actually plays alot with Francis but he likes more PVP and exploring than mining and building like Ludwig. Alfred also gets in on it but likes to troll so they usually kick him iut after he drops lava on Ludwigs cow pen.

Will i talk more about them? Yes ofc duh. Tune in next time for my awesome video essay on why this is my best au yet /j

5 notes · View notes

stargazer-sims · 1 year

Text

Journal Entry #55 (part one)

Journal Entry #54 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Let me tell you, I think I've had enough stress for this week.

Okay, so I know it's only been a few days since my last update, but stuff has happened. A lot of stuff, actually, and I need to unpack all of it somewhere, so here we are.

Exactly as I predicted, and probably to no one's surprise, Yuri did end up in the hospital again.

A healthy and fit person might be able to go a week or more without food, but somebody whose health is as fragile as Yuri's can't. His body has practically zero reserves, and after a handful of days without eating, it was obvious he was getting weaker and more unwell.

Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to get some nourishment into him, but he wasn't having it. I was getting really worried, and when he woke up the day before yesterday with a fever, it might not be overstating it to say I panicked. I suggested that we should go back to the hospital because I didn't know what else I could do for him, and what really scared me was that he agreed without a debate.

At the urgent care clinic, the doctor who saw him was the same one who'd taken care of him last time, Dr. Shibazaki. She remembered him, and after taking one look at his medical records on the computer, decided on the spot that she'd admit him.

By some weird coincidence, his room turned out to be the same one he'd occupied during his previous stay. It wasn't bad, as far as hospital rooms go. The colour of the walls reminded me of a clear September sky, and there was a window so we could look out at the real sky if we wanted to. During Yuri's last stay, we'd kept the curtain closed most of the time, but I opened it this time to let some sunlight in.

"I'm glad I'm in this room again," Yuri commented as he sat on the bed and changed into pyjamas. "Not really glad, but... you know. I like familiarity."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I'd rather you didn't need to be here, but it is a comfortable room."

"As comfortable as hospital rooms get," he said. "Sorry I'm being so much trouble. Again."

I wanted to tell him he didn't need to apologize, but instead I just said, "Never mind. You're worth the trouble."

I did my best to tuck him into bed with my one good arm, and then I climbed up to snuggle with him. That, at least, was a vast improvement from before. He'd been connected to too much stuff and I'd had both arms encased in Fiberglas, so awkward hospital bed cuddles had been totally off the agenda.

Yuri had only been settled in his room for about half an hour when his specialist turned up. I'm sure we've mentioned her before, but just in case you don't recall, her name is Espérance Kasongo and she's a Canadian like me, but I don't think Canada is her country of origin. Her first language is French, so she has an interesting accent when she speaks Japanese. She speaks English too, though, and that's the language she seems to prefer using with Yuri and me.

Dr. Kasongo is a gastroenterologist — a digestive system doctor, for those of you who don't like big words — and she's been seeing Yuri for about five years now. He likes her a lot more than he liked his previous gastroenterologist, probably because she's gentle with him and treats him with empathy, like a whole person instead of just a vessel for a diseased body part.

Dr. Kasongo is usually gentle with me as well, but at the hospital the other day, I wasn't feeling it. The empathy was still there, but I recognize tough love when I see it, and she definitely wasn't going easy on me.

To be fair to her, she wasn't wrong. She made valid points, and I have no problem acknowledging I needed her to draw my attention to some things. I mean, most of what she said was stuff I already knew but didn't put into perspective until somebody else said it aloud.

After examining Yuri and reviewing the notes Dr. Shibazaki had made, Dr. Kasongo's conclusion was that he was showing all the signs of malnutrition. That didn't really shock me at all. I'm not a medical professional yet, but I'd kinda suspected it for a while.

The doctor said she was going to request bloodwork and some other tests. Yuri didn't seem thrilled about it, but he didn't comment on it like he usually does. He just nodded and said it was fine. I think that worried me more than anything, as strange as it may sound.

Once she'd finished poking and prodding him, Dr. Kasongo sat us both down for a serious talk. She didn't ease into it, either

She led with, "This is very concerning, Yuri. I discharged you on the understanding that you were going to follow the food plan the nutritionist gave you. Now, here you are, back again."

"Here I am," Yuri echoed lamely.

"Can you tell me about what you've been eating?"

He glanced at me, and his expression was one of desperation. Taking pity on him, I said, "We started off okay, but the food plan was a lot, and—"

"Excuse me." The doctor cut me off with a stern look. "I have questions later for you. Right now, I'm asking Yuri."

"I... haven't really been eating much," Yuri told her. "Water. Soy milk. I think I had grape juice yesterday or the day before."

She shook her head. "That is not eating. When was the last time you had solid food?"

"Maybe four days ago?"

"And what was it?"

"Rice."

"Were you having trouble keeping food down?" she asked. "Or was it something else?"

"Something else," Yuri said.

"Do you think you can tell me about it?"

"One of our friends was helping us," he said. "He kept making me feed myself."

The doctor made a noncommittal humming sound. "I see."

"It was stressful," Yuri went on. "I told him I couldn't do it, that it was giving me a lot of anxiety. I don't like eating. I don't like touching food, and sometimes I don't even like looking at food. Having to feed myself while somebody sat there watching to make sure I did it was too much."

"I see," she said again. "If your friend was encouraging you to feed yourself, am I to infer that you were not feeding yourself before?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Somebody else was feeding you?"

"Yes.”

Dr. Kasongo shifted her attention to me. "Victor, were you feeding him?"

"Yeah," I confessed. "I mean, not too much lately, because of my arms, but..." I gestured vaguely with the hand that still had a cast on it. "But... yeah. Me and his parents. It's just easier for everyone that way."

"And how is it easier?" she inquired.

"Because he needs to eat, and it's too hard to watch him struggle with it, especially when he's really sick,"

"So, I'm hearing that it's easier for you if you feed him."

"I... guess so?" I said. "But, it's easier for him too."

"Is it?" she asked. "Yuri, how do you feel when someone feeds you? Does that make it easier for you to eat?"

Yuri fidgeted with the edge of his blanket and looked as though he was attempting to decide on the best way to answer. After several seconds, he ventured, "I suppose it does, in a way. There's less to think about if I don't have to handle the utensils myself, but I still don't like eating."

"Does it produce less anxiety when someone feeds you?" the doctor inquired.

"Anxiety about eating? Yes, a little less, but then I’m anxious about creating too much work for Victor or my mother."

"So, clearly that is not the solution." Dr. Kasongo leaned back in her chair, and seemed to ponder for a moment before she continued. "I may have a better one. Yuri, how would you feel about doing something called nutrition rehabilitation?"

"What's that?" I hadn't meant to speak before Yuri got the chance to answer, but the phrase itself intrigued me and I was immediately curious.

"It's a kind of therapy," the doctor said. "Patients work closely with their doctor and a nutritionist and sometimes a psychologist or psychiarist to develop better nutrition and eating strategies, and to help them have a healthier relationship with food. We use it a lot with patients who have eating disorders, mental health concerns that affect their eating, and of course patients with long-term and chronic illnesses."

Yuri didn't seem happy about this suggestion. "You want me to see a therapist?"

"I want to get you back to where you were last summer," she told him. "I'd like to see you at a healthy weight, with a proper sleep schedule and meal routine, and with enough energy to exercise and work and enjoy your life."

"That'd be great, wouldn't it?" I added. "We had a lot of fun last summer. Remember the rock climbing?"

"Yeah," Yuri said.

“What was your favourite thing about last summer?”

“Going to the Festival of Snow with your mother,” he said. “We were out all day.”

“Ideally, I would like to see you be able to have full days out this summer as well,” said the doctor. "Is that a goal you'd be willing to work toward? Eating independently and stabilizing your routine, and getting back some stamina?"

"I suppose so," he said.

I recalled the conversation between Yuri and his mother. She'd talked about goals too. Yuri hadn't been particularly amenable to goal-setting that day, but now it seemed he might be coming around to it.

"You will have to participate too, Victor," Dr. Kasongo said. "I recognize that you want to help, and I know you've already established some good habits, but there are more changes needed."

“Like what?” I asked.

She looked me straight in the eyes. "No more feeding, for a start. I'm quite serious about that. There can be no exceptions. It may be a difficult adjustment for you, but I think you can see that it isn't helpful to Yuri's recovery."

"Yes, I think I'm seeing that now," I said.

"And no more empty carbohydrates. I take it you are the one who prepares the meals?"

"Yeah."

"You know grape juice is not a meal."

"I know," I said.

"Protein. Healthy fats. Low-fibre fruit and vegetables. Good carbohydrates. I know you know about all those things," she said. "We need to get back on track, and you'll play an important role in that."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

"Excellent," said the doctor. "I think it would also be a good idea for you to attend some sessions with the nutritionist along with Yuri. With your background, you may be more well-informed about health and nutrition than most caregivers, but there's still quite a lot you can learn about the topic in general and, I dare say, about Yuri's needs in particular."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Yuri, you will need to be accountable for yourself as well," she continued. "Just because Victor has the responsibility of planning and preparing meals, that doesn't mean you can let him manage everything. The nutritionist will work with you and teach you how to make good decisions about eating, and I expect you to participate in the meal planning and take control of your own food intake at some point."

"Are you going to check up on me?" Yuri asked, and it was difficult to determine from his tone if he wanted her to or if he didn't. It could've been, 'I'm scared I'll mess it up without support' or it could have been, 'I won't be able to get away with anything if you're monitoring me'. I couldn't tell. I hoped it was the first one, but I feared it was the second.

"Of course I'll be checking on you," she said. "And I've already referred you to an excellent colleague of mine, Dr. Daniel Kim at Willow Creek Regional Hospital. So, after you move, there'll be someone to check your progress straight away when you get there."

I hadn't realized she'd already made a referral. I hadn't told her we were moving, so I had to assume Yuri's parents had told her during his previous hospital stay. It was a good thing somebody had mentioned it, because I'll admit I'd been too preoccupied to think of lining up new doctors for Yuri back home.

"I didn't know international referrals were even a thing," I said.

"I'm not sure they are," said Dr. Kasongo. "Daniel and I were in medical school together, and we both chose the same specialty. We've been great friends for a long time and naturally we keep in touch. I asked him for a favour, and fortunately for you, he was glad to do it." She gave me a conspiratorial little grin. "Something for a fellow resident of the Creek."

I stared for a second. "You're from Willow Creek?"

"Not originally, but when my family immigrated to Canada and settled there, I was too young to remember living anywhere else before that. I always say I had my humble beginnings in the Willow Creek Trailer Park. Not doing so bad for myself now, am I?"

"If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been in Japan?"

"About fifteen years," she said. "A few more than you, I think."

"I've been here for two, but it's time to go home."

"I understand. You must follow the path that's right for you." She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, but quickly got back to business. "Do you have any questions about what we've discussed so far?"

"I do have one," I said. "I agree with the plan. It sounds like a good idea to me, but how long do you think it'll take? Like, this isn't an immediate solution to the problem of Yuri not being able to eat."

"How long it takes will depend largely on Yuri, and also on you," she replied. "You will need to support him throughout the process, regardless of how difficult it is or how long it may take. And Yuri, I want you to understand that no one expects you to get better within days or even a few weeks. If you make quick progress, that's good, but slow, steady progress is equally good, and no one will judge you for setbacks. This may not be a strictly linear process, and I want you both to be prepared for that."

"I understand," Yuri said. "But, I don't think you really answered Victor's question."

"About an immediate solution?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "What are we supposed to do until this nutrition rehabilitation therapy kicks in and we start seeing results? Like, he's literally starving right now, and... yeah. Sorry. You don't need me to point that out, but..." I trailed off, stopping just short of telling her how freaked out I was about the way-too-real possibility of Yuri starving himself to death.

Yuri put a hand to his mouth, as if he were feeling nauseous. His voice came out slightly strained. "Please don't say meal replacement drinks."

"No meal replacement drinks today," the doctor assured him. "Because of your overall health at the moment, I think we should begin a nutrient infusion today, and once I have all the results from the tests we're going to do, we might discuss some form of enteral nutrition after that."

I felt my heart sink at hearing her words. "You mean a feeding tube."

That was the thing I'd hoped we could avoid. I know Yuri's parents were not entirely in favour of it either, and thought it was a drastic measure.

"Yes," she said. "Yuri, unless you're willing to start drinking meal replacements or eating some soft foods within the next few days, then that would be my recommendation."

Yuri shook his head. "I... I can't. Putting anything in my mouth right now is... I just can't."

"All right," Dr. Kasongo conceded. "Perhaps you'll feel differently about it tomorrow."

"I don't think so," Yuri said.

"I'll ask you in the morning," she told him. "For now, we'll get started with your bloodwork and antibody tests, and I'll do my best to arrange an imaging test for you for this afternoon so we can see what's going on inside you. Once we have all that, we can talk about next steps. Does that sound acceptable?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Victor?"

I could barely breathe around the lump that'd suddenly formed in my throat, but somehow I got out a strained, "Uh… yeah."

There wasn't any other suitable response I could give anyway.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #victor and yuri #tw hospital #tw chronic illness #tw starvation #stargazersims

13 notes · View notes

momoemarias · 1 year

Text

So I rewatched one of my fave cartoons ever recently

eene is so far in the rearview mirror for me now that I forget a lot of what it was initially like when the show was airing on tv. Like I couldn’t remember why some people thought s4 was a step down from s3 (even though I agree s3 is my fave). But I read someone’s review of a twist of ed that jogged my memory. Basically the reviewer was disappointed that they missed the opportunity to change the status quo at the end. And it hit me that there are s4 eps that are waaay more enjoyable knowing that we get s5 and the movie later. They aren’t BAD they’d just be kind of a bummer if s4 really was the end. I really disliked take this ed and shove it because it felt like such a grim note to end on. So while I do like s4 this realization made me remember why it left some people sour. That being said I wish s4 got way more credit for its silly goofy eps! It definitely wasn’t all bitter.

Here’s a possibly hot take: if anything s5 PROVES their friendship is still strong. Like Edd has every reason to be busy with school things and still chooses to be attached to the hip with slackers like Ed and Eddy? It feels unfair to me that this season gets blamed for being this dysfunctional era of the show. There are iffy moments here and there sure, but there are way more positives imo. I’m a s5 defender. It does commit a few crimes (a couple eps feel boring and they do more gross jokes?) but it’s pretty great. My least fave season is s1 (it’s just a little undercooked sorry).

I kind of wish the line in Edd’s character bible re: always being ready for action was more popular with fans. He’s a stick in the mud in a funny way not in a stops the plot in its tracks way! He’s open to silly stuff even in the later seasons! He just has to complain and be annoying (affectionate) first. I remember some of those more hypocritical writing moments confusing me as a kid (like do you want to be here?? lol) but in hindsight it just doesn’t feel that serious anymore. Edd is there because those are his friends, he likes doing the scams, there’s no ‘guilty by association’ and he wouldn’t be better off with the other kids since people love to forget he’s an outcast too.

I wish I could remember more of what it was like pre-movie. It’s so easy to handwave away some interpretations now that there’s a legit conclusion.

It feels like the abusive households theory is more prevalent than the (lame tbh) purgatory theory these days. The only thing I disagree with is that I don’t think any of the Eds’ parents are like. hellspawn or anything. I think there is neglect in both Ed and Edd’s households but they don’t hate their kids they’re just imperfect. Less malicious intent and more… they could do a lot better lol. I think Eddy’s parents are pretty good (comparatively?).

Admittedly though Ed’s home life is super hard to pin down bc the iconic WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STAIRS moment is taken so seriously. But Kevin’s parents put chains around the tv and cookie jar when he gets grounded so like!! what is real and what is cartoony exaggeration in this universe!!

On that note I actually think Ed’s bedroom being in the basement is… really cool? It would be concerning if there’s a lot of mold down there, but I always thought a teen (pre-teen in this case) boy would love having a cool spacious lair for a bedroom. He has his own tv even! I’m willing to bet the boys spend the most time in Ed’s bedroom than anyone else’s (which is so weird considering Eddy’s is on ground level AND has its own door. like hello that should be the hangout spot).

I could talk more but this has been in my drafts long enough. Sometimes a 20yo Canadian cartoon can be so personal.

#eene #ed edd n eddy #basically a thought dump lol

9 notes · View notes

kulliare · 1 year

Text

tagged by @pretty-thief, thank you

1. Were you named after anyone?

no, my real name is based off how easy it would've been for my grandma to say, who doesn't speak english. my parents kind of failed on that basis haha (there are 2 pronunciations of my name and i prefer one rather than the other!) but my name's alright

2. When was the last time you cried?

december 2022/january 2023 was my big cry era but i probably shed like one tear after that over something like film / tv / animal video that was too cute etc

3. Do you have kids?

no. i don't think i'll ever want to but idk what me 10 years down the road will say lol

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

...yes, kind of accidentally? i think i just use it for emphasis rather than like the ~sarcasm is my only language~ type. irl my voice and tone is very blunt/firm/dry so a lot of people think i'm being sarcastic when i'm serious/just talking etc!!! and i have no control over it!!!

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

i played badminton as a kid. i did ultimate before i realized that would be too much running and now i do spikeball, which is excellent for people who hate sports. but i seriously do love spikeball because as someone who doesn't really Sport it's not too hard (minimal amount of running, focus on hand eye coordination and reflexes) so it's accessible to people who aren't athletic (me)

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

i don't know. vibes? if i think i would like them? i'm wary of people at first so it's probably vibes. ngl i'm the type to be very self focused so i'm usually just focused on introducing myself and getting them into the Group so they don't feel uncomfortable

7. Eye color?

brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings 24/7/365 i can't do depressed shit man

9. Any special talents?

i mean there is probably something but i don't have an icebreaker answer to this i'm sorry

10. Where were you born?

this is like a security question man i can't answer this one. i am canadian is the most i'll offer.

11. What are your hobbies?

drawing / posting on tumblr.com about carmy / spikeball / video games are probably my main 4 right now. i keep thinking about getting more hobbies but i go out for spikeball a lot and it's eating up my life lol

12. Do you have any pets?

no! i desperately want a cat though. a russian blue is probably like the ideal cat for me but i don't have my own place and it's doubtful i'll get one anytime soon! i'm also open to other hypoallergenic cats but i don't know how much better they'll be in comp to a russian blue bc i met one before and my allergies weren't as bad-- unrelated but i am seeing a cat today everyone plz cheer for me. i really hope that cat likes me but i will respect his personal space bc apparently he's shy

13. How tall are you?

like 5'0-5'2... i'm never sure haha!! wish i was taller

14. Favorite subject in school?

english!!! to my great detriment!!! but i loved her then and i would never take that back from my hs self

15. Dream job?

rotting! but not really because i would probably get stressed. uhm. i'm at the point where i don't know what i would want. i strangely feel like editing for a tv show/film would work very well for me because i hate drafting stories out but i love refining shit that's already there and i imagine being able to edit stuff has a similar feel. if i was good at it i would write for a tv show or whatever but writing for fiction is incredibly difficult for me and i'm aware that i'm not the best at it

tagging @halfagod @scoundrels-in-love @bartonbones @haydenchrlstensen @egirlgarak @sweetmilkbread

#the voice question reminded me of those voice like tag games....#kind of want to do one.#it's strange because my voice is nasally i think like a nerd's but i don't know anymore???????#people just tell me things #thanks for the ask again was a fun distraction

6 notes · View notes

out-and-aboot-eh · 29 days

Text

Day 8 - Clear Water Lake Canoeing

If we had to pick any one to share our tent with, picking someone who describes themselves as ‘fun sized’ is the way to go. Especially when they don’t snore, don’t move and are a heavy sleeper! Before going to bed someone said there would be 3cm of rain and it sounded like it throughout the night. One of the downsides of camping is trying to keep things dry/getting them dry once they’re wet if it’s not sunny. But we knew this before we signed up! There was some debate about what to wear, as we were already wet and only going to get wetter due to a forecast of rain all day, but there was also some hiking in between part of our first activity of the day, canoeing! We had breakfast, packed our lunches and snacks and away we went in the minibus aka the hotel for Cat and Megan the previous night!

Clear Water Lake was our heading, which was just a short drive down the road from the ranch. Our guide for the day was a local chap called Asaf, who provided us with life jackets and wet bags once we’d signed our lives away on yet another waiver where the company takes absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens to it’s customers. I can see why Canadians are so good at skiing with their damn slopey shoulders! He gave a bit of an overview about how the next few hours would go including a short health and safety speech, he seemed pretty chilled and not too concerned about things going wrong. After a 5 minute trip up the road in old trusty we reached our starting point, where the canoes were stored and we could get in to the water.

Asaf covered off the health and safety bits, followed by the best way to paddle, steer and most importantly, how to stay in the boat - keep the weight down that central line! Naturally Georgie and I went together, even though some of our previous aquatic adventures hadn’t been the smoothest! There were two roles to play once in the canoe, the front is the engine and the back the rudder aka the captain. As my captaincy with a paddle hasn’t always been the best, I suggested G give it a go on the way to the island that we would be heading to, however I did feel slightly better when Asaf confirmed my theory that canoes/kayaks etc will go off course every few strokes! We managed to hoof our canoe to the lake, drop it in and get in it with out any dramas, which was a strong start in my book! Once everyone had done the same we made our way to the island.

The lake was large, but smooth so paddling wasn’t too taxing and despite it being a first for some of our group, everyone kept up. There were woods either side of the water, but not a huge amount of wildlife to be seen other than a few birds and the water was warm compared to some of the other lakes we’ve taken a dip in. The island was about a 45 minute canoe away and we all kept up pretty well considering the size of our group. Eliza had to go full Pocahontas as captain, due to Daisy’s back being in a bad way. Georgie was an excellent captain as it turns out and expertly manoeuvred us to shore. Once we stepped foot on the island most of us cracked open our lunches. Maybe paddling was a bit more taxing than first thought as we don’t normally have lunch at 11:10am! Once refuelled we took a guided stroll in to the woods, guided by Asaf. Of all the places we’ve been so far, this definitely felt like one that was more in the wilderness. Even with the picnic benches and drop toilet! The island has a plethora of trees, plants and animals, including bears and porcupines, the closest of which we’ve seen to either of those was some porcupine poo! Asaf was a fountain of knowledge regarding the inhabitants on the island, in particular the plants, how they could be used and which ones to avoid. As we made our way deeper in to the forest, away from the lake, it was clear to see how easy it would be to get lost!

We made our way back to the canoes and set off on the return journey, only this time I was the captain. I was more Captain Jack Sparrow than Robin Crusoe with rum like charges off course, but we did manage to dock without falling out, so that’s a bonus! And better still we were able to leave most of the canoes there for the next group (the other G adventures guys) instead of hoofing them back up the hill. As it had been raining the entire time we were pretty wet and some of us, very cold. So the heat was cranked up as we made our way to a few locations before heading back to the ranch. The first was a real highlight of the trip thus far as it involved some wildlife (of which we’ve seen very little!) and it’s something you’d only see in certain locations. The salmon run. We went to see them in a little spot called Bailey Chute, which was a wide stretch of river with a heavy downstream flow and big rocks to overcome. We found ourselves cheering on the salmon that managed to leap over the worst of it and presumably carry on up stream (you couldn’t tell once they were back in the water) and letting out disappointed groans for those that were beaten back by the rapids.

From there we went onto Helmcklen Falls and Dawson Falls, our numbers dwindling with each stop due to the wet and cold. Every stop (usually with a waterfall) has been beautiful in its own way, but I’ll be damned if I remember the differences/names without checking the photos as a point of reference! As we made our way back to the ranch the hot topic was hot showers. Apparently the power at the ranch is sketchy at the best of times, let alone when there are storms, so we were delighted when the showers were running and hot, for most of us at least! Once warm and clean it was off to the rickety bench for some drinks and dinner. Turns out not only is it rickety, but also unbalanced as when Iain joined the side I was sat on we almost tipped it, even with some of the girls sat on the other side, Chief has been feeding us up too much!

Chilli was on the menu, which is just what was needed to warm the cockles after a day on the lake. As it was an early dinner, we were able to get our cowboy boots on and head to the saloon, as we didn’t quite make it the first time. It was a quaint spot, which looked shocked to see a dozen of us pile in at once. I clocked the juke box in the corner early doors and went over to it, only to be informed by our happy host that it didn’t work, but I could give him the money. I resisted suggesting if he gave me a smile I’d think about it. We had a good laugh as a group whilst sinking a few pints before heading back at 9pm as that’s when it closes! We finished off the evening with a couple of Werewolf games, where the villains clawed back a couple of points!

Georgie’s highlight of the day: Seeing the salmons swim up stream!

1 note · View note

three-o-clock-things · 3 months

Note

not an anon but for the ask game thing 6, 8, 10, 16, 18 (if youre comfy you can say no !!!), 20, 21, 23, 24, 32, 33, 36 ,37 (if youre comfy again), 39 and 44 :DD

(its a lot lol sorry)

anyway hope your morning is going well!!! love you !!

oh jeebus chreebust that’s a lot

question list

putting these under a read more to not clog the feed 👍

6. already answered here!

8. Want any tattoos?

YES actually a friend and i were talking about getting tattoos after exams are over so that might be a thing happening soon,,,

10. Want any piercings?

Not really? I had my ears pierced growing up but since i dont wear earrings theyre not anymore but itd be really easy to just open the holes again so like. Im good im fine

16. I’ll love you if…

You give me mike n ikes. It’s that simple

18. Most traumatic experience

Weirdly enough it’s nothing that’s ever happened to *me* directly (but im not talking about that shit on the internet lol)

20. What i hate most about myself

Ough. Um,, my inability to get shit done until the last possible second

21. What i love most about myself

Don’t ask me that lmao (genuine answer: im not sure, there are things i like about myself but idk what i like most)

23. My relationship with my sibling

My brother and i are honestly really close! I think being 4 years apart kept us from having the years of constant arguing that I’ve seen most of my friends have with their siblings. My brother is very swag 👍

24. My relationship with my parents

It’s not bad by any means but. Idk could be better?

32. What words upset me the most

Any sort of insinuation that im stupid i think

33. What words make me feel the best about myself

I’m not really sure honestly

36. Where I would like to live

NOT HERE THATS FOR SURE (somewhere warm pls Canadian winters actually murder me)

39. My favourite ice cream flavour

Any of the fruity sherbet ones and also the shitty grocery store smarties one

44. A random fact about anything

I am way too tired for random facts sorry man 😓

#i hate all the capitalization here but im too tired to fight iPad autocaps especially in a post this long #ty for asking indie!#ask game #three o clock speaks

1 note · View note

cattatonically · 1 year

Photo

A Change of View - Freya Barker (Northern Lights, book 2)

Synopsis

What if one morning you look in the mirror and no longer recognize the person looking back?

When Leelo can no longer identify herself by the roles that once defined her, it’s both terrifying and liberating. Oh, she feels the loss, the grief, and then the anger, but when she inherits property up north, she jumps at the promise of freedom and independence.

Yet not everyone in her new community is what they seem, starting with the surly mountain man down the road.

As owner of the local fishing lodge, Roar is content with his everyday life. And the older he gets, the less he appreciates change. So when a blue-haired, tattooed ‘city girl’ moves into the old motel, shaking up his daily routine, he’s none too pleased.

Still, something about the woman’s easy smile and almost reckless grit has him step up as her keeper.

My Thoughts

I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought would, and most of that has so much to do with the nostalgia factor.

I was absolutely, thoroughly surprised to read this story take place new Wawa, which is so very close to my own hometown. (Anyone who’s familiar with that area of Northern Ontario knows just how close a lot of those communities are.) It was honestly a bit of a blast from the past to realize I recognized a lot of the names of the roads, the surrounding area, and even some of the local businesses in Wawa! And honestly, that’s probably a large reason why Leelo and Roar appealed to me so much.

Roar is exactly the kind of rough and gruff sort of man that I remember growing up with. He’s good with his hands, extremely handy, and extremely loyal to those who are near and dear to his heart. Leelo, on the other hand, is a no-nonsense city girl who takes no prisoners.

I loved watching their interactions. Fresh off a bad divorce (cannot relate at all, nope, not even a little [cue sarcasm]), Leelo gives absolutely zero shits. And watching her mouth off, stand her ground, and put men in their place was exquisite for me to read. I adored watching Leelo come into her own, and really take hold of her own life, and her own future.

Honestly, this book felt like a fresh new beginning, which is exactly what I’m in the market for in my own life right now. Being able to live vicariously through Leelo, even just for a little while, was empowering to me. And having this story hit close to home (literally) was a really nice bonus.

I’m really enjoying reading these stories take place in areas that I’m familiar with. I can’t wait to see which Canadian love story comes next.

#Book review #A Change of View #Freya Barker #Northern Lights trilogy #Catt reads #Catt's life in books

0 notes

steelcityreviews · 2 years

Text

INTERVIEW with Michael Kras, Playwright

Above: Michael Kras - photo by Megan Kras

The world premiere of No Big Deal, produced by Roseneath Theatre and presented by Tottering Biped Theatre, will be touring in Hamilton for an extremely limited run October 21st to 23rd in the Robinson Memorial Theatre at McMaster University. No Big Deal is the newest work by local playwright Michael Kras, a recent recipient of the Voaden Prize for his hit play The Team.

Kras' work centres on new-generational characters navigating their lives in present day Canada. His provocative, witty and accessible plays have been breaking out of Hamilton with some now featured in play publications and school program productions across Canada.

I had the pleasure of a virtual interview with Michael to discuss his playwriting journey and the anticipation of No Big Deal being staged.

SCG: Describe your inspiration for your latest work No Big Deal and what encouraged you to write this piece.

MK: In 2019, after finishing a sold-out run of my play The Team in Hamilton – which is a play that features five young women – I wanted to jump into a new project that allowed for a more direct kind of introspection.

The ways in which toxic masculinity permeate our culture, especially in ways that feel innocuous or have been normalized, were interesting to me as a playwright; so I decided to dive in on a play about male friendship and two young men coming of age with extremely divergent ideas of what “being a man” means to them.

With this basic idea in mind, I approached Toronto’s Roseneath Theatre – one of Canada’s leading companies for Theatre for Young Audiences – and pitched them the idea. As it turns out, the topic of toxic masculinity has been an in-demand one for schools across the province, so Roseneath was all for it and I soon jumped into a role as their OAC Playwright-in-Residence through 2020 to work on the play. I’m so proud that this play will be making its world premiere with Roseneath as their first in-person production since the pandemic began.

SCG: What is your perception on taking a risk regarding writing new pieces of theatre?

MK: Good question! I view risk as a playwright as the bravery to present challenging ideas without letting the work itself take a clear side. As an artist, I can live in a safe place by using the play to tell the audience how I feel about my characters and their actions, but I think it’s much more interesting to present them as they are – the good and the bad and the grey – without judgement. That, for me, is where the discussion lives.

That’s what I love about No Big Deal; its lens on toxic masculinity is often subtle, and the gender politics that inform so much of the conflict in the play can be deeply complicated. I have zero interest in easy answers; if I did, I probably wouldn’t be a playwright.

SCG: Hamilton theatre has an increasing interest from younger audiences and many community theatre companies encourage their involvement as participants in community productions. How do you approach this as a playwright and why do you believe your work speaks to younger audiences?

MK: I can’t speak too much to what that’s like in community theatre, but I will say that I think any theatre – community or professional – will see no downside to programming, creating, and developing new work that’s about and for new-generation audiences and artists.

So often in Canadian theatre we put theatre for adults and theatre for young audiences into two separate silos, but I believe that theatre for young audiences can tell stimulating, challenging, powerful, exciting stories that impact a much broader range of audiences than just young people. One of my favourite examples was during a talkback of my play The Team – another play I wrote about and for young people – where one of the most visibly moved people in the audience was a white man in his 50s.

I think that universal resonance happens when we as artists treat young people and their experiences with weight, complexity, and nuance. At the end of the day, young people are doing the same thing all of us are doing; trying to find our place in an increasingly uncertain world.

SCG: What have been some challenges in writing and workshopping No Big Deal and how have you overcome them?

MK: No Big Deal is one of the hardest times I’ve ever had writing a play. A big part of that was absolutely the fact that I began developing it right at the start of the pandemic, and trying to write a play was the very last thing on my mind while the world around me was going through this terrifying and unprecedented event.

But beyond that, I think it’s more difficult and vulnerable to write a play like this that’s so closely tied to my own lived experience. My play The Team, for instance, came out of me really quickly because the subject matter afforded me a degree of personal distance. No Big Deal was a direct confrontation of the ways I navigate the world as a young, white, cisgender, able-bodied man. It’s not remotely autobiographical, but this play taught me a lot about myself.

SCG: How will this play speak to Hamilton audiences or audiences in general?

MK: I will consider No Big Deal a success if audiences in Hamilton and beyond walk away with completely different takes on the events that occur in the play. I think people in the audience will get different reads on certain situations and moments based on their own lived experiences, and that excites me so much.

I’m very proud of this play; I think it’s extremely funny, humane, moving, and challenging, and the team bringing it to life at Roseneath Theatre is very special. But above all, I think No Big Deal is going to prompt some incredibly important discussions; and not just for younger generations.

Thank you Michael for your engaging insights on playwriting and bringing another intriguing work to the stage. Please see details below for more information.

Artwork by Claudia Davila

WHERE: McMaster University’s Robinson Memorial Theatre (in the Chester New Hall building)

WHEN: October 21, 22 at 8:00 p.m. and 23 at 2:00 p.m. ONLY

FOR TICKETS AND MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE VISIT: No Big Deal Ticket Sales

PLOT SYNOPSIS: Best friends Ariel and Grayson work at a horrible theme park for the summer to save up for college. Their plan is to be roommates and take their first steps into adulthood together. But tensions created by their increasingly different ideas of growing into manhood might be enough to threaten their friendship. Tackling themes of contemporary masculinity, bro culture, and consent, No Big Deal is a complex, funny, and humane new play that’s sure to provoke urgent discussion.

#Hamiltontheatre newplays ontour theatreproductions playwriting

1 note · View note

wildermouse · 2 years

Text

so basically i am pretty sure i’m autistic and i’ve suspected this for years now, but i am constantly talking myself down from it, saying it’s actually just bad social anxiety and i’m not autistic and i’m just grasping at straws or whatever the fuck. looking for something other than ‘just anxiety’ to blame all my issues on.

now there are definitely reasons i think i’m autistic that have nothing to do with social anxiety and that’s why i question it so much. major sensory issues with food and smells and sounds for example, being a human encyclopedia and vessel for lots and lots of facts i spew at random times. there are many more (..pages more) but this isn’t the point rn.

autistic issues with socialization are primarily not picking up on social cues, too little or too much eye contact, lack of empathy (this is bullshit tho). like basically being oblivious to how nts communicate i guess - not picking up on facial/body expressions, tones in voice like sarcasm and hinting at things.

but i’m sometimes that but mostly the opposite, which would be the main symptoms of social anxiety. i feel i’m hypersensitive to peoples tones and expressions, though i don’t often look at peoples faces. i’m aware if they take a step away from me or sound disinterested in what i say, and my head runs wild with anxiety at the tiniest thing thinking i’m annoying and a burden and should spare everyone having to socialize with me.

and because of that, i keep talking myself out of thinking i’m autistic. but then i also wonder- if i can read social cues but can’t actually portray them properly myself, is that a social anxiety trait as well or an autistic trait? i really don’t know. and i don’t really know how i socialize bc i kinda black out during it most of the time lol, but i do know it’s nearly always painfully awkward because of me. i’ve been called rude when i was not trying to be and didn’t think i was being, ive been told people didn’t think i liked them bc of how i interacted with them, which wasn’t the case. i’ve been told i’m weird or cute bc of my social awkwardness.

anyway my main point of this post is: what exactly are some examples of social cues you often miss as an autistic person? the more specific the better.

because i wonder if i think i can understand them but in reality actually don’t. i sometimes have a hard time knowing what specifically people mean by certain things so i’m wondering if i just have the wrong idea of social cues in general? also being raised by who i was raised by would probably have an impact, no? because i was basically raised by sarcasm. my family doesn’t know how to be serious and i’ve become hyper aware of sarcasm (especially my dad’s) to avoid embarrassment and come up with witty comebacks. same with passive aggression. my dad has always been passive aggressive and it’s also just a very canadian way to deal with things and i hate it but i grew up with it so it’s easy to detect for me. it’s all learning right?

i could go on, and on, ….and on, but i’m gonna leave it at that for now.

#autism #autistic #audhd #actually austistic #asd

114 notes · View notes

coeurdastronaute · 2 years

Text

Winter Olympics, Ch. 4

Previously on Winter Olympics

The cheering of the crowd didn’t really come in over the whooshing of the air through her helmet, not until she slowed. The wind was generous at her back so she felt like she was flying even more. The thick, grey clouds felt like they were nearly within her grasp sometimes.

There was a rhythm to half pipe, to her routine, one that she’d memorized to highlight her mastery, one that was so much fun, she couldn’t believe she got to compete with it, one that she did better than anyone else, and with a few surprises thrown in. When she hit the final trick, she pumped her fist and tossed her hands up, happy with the entirety of it, more than she ever thought possible.

Nearly out of breath, Clarke stopped near the fences where her coach and parents waited to congratulate her. She knew before she looked up that it was going to be a good score. She felt it. It was one of the most flawless runs she’d ever had. It was like dancing to her. If she’d been a pianist, she would have hit every note with just the right amount, at just the right time-- a symphony from her board.

When the score was announced, she heard Bellamy above the rest, screaming for her, earning a hug from him quickly before her mother swallowed her and Kane patted her back with a half hug around her.

Grinning madly, Clarke tossed her head back and closed her eyes. 92.8. She’d qualify first. It was tough mark to beat, not that Anya couldn’t. Clarke just had to hope the Canadian was a little less capable today. The Australians went wild as Clarke walked past, allowing them to swallow her as well. Her cheeks were going to break, she was certain as she entered the waiting area after a quick interview.

“You’re an asshole,” Anya punched her shoulder and then hugged her tightly. “That was amazing. Seriously. I’m going to go DQ just so I don’t have to feel bad about myself.”

“Shut up. You’ve already qualified,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

She shoved her helmet and goggles into her bag, making sure her board was stacked before pushing the sweaty tendrils out of her eyes.

“Yeah, well now I have to up my game,” she shrugged. “First Aden gets the first goal. Now Lexa with a hat trick. I swear you’re going to make me look bad in front of my grandparents. Of course they couldn’t be here for my early run.”

“I promise to do worse next time your grandparents are coming.”

Clarke filed the news away about Lexa, outrageously happy to hear that she’d performed well. She assumed a hat trick in hockey was the same as in soccer, and if so, that was impressive as hell. Sexy too.

“Did they win their games?”

“What?”

“Your cousins. You know, the more talented ones in your genetic pool.”

“Aden is heading to a shoot out, so not sure yet. Lex…” Anya picked up her phone, rereading a text. “Lexa won 5-0.”

“Wow, that’s… that’s like the spanking I just put on you.”

“You’re seriously an asshole,” Anya growled, earning a smile. “My grandparents got to see both of them kick ass, and I already qualified.”

“So you’re not going to go put on a show?”

Clarke did her best to tame her hair and prepare for media questions in the press room. She imagined there’d be a few after a run like that.

“Safety run for me, coaches orders.”

“Put a little something on it for them at least,” Clarke shrugged.

Anya debated it before nodding and deciding something right there. It was easy to talk like that, almost like teammates. Even though they were on teams, it was a very lonely sport, one that was sometimes hard to make friends in. Clarke valued being friends with her competitor. They made the other better. Anya was the reason she’d just put on the run she had.

“Didn’t hear from Lexa last night. You found her place okay?”

“Yeah, thanks,” she blushed a bit, preparing to change out of her boots, not looking up. But Anya didn’t press, just stood there and nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, if she’s your lucky charm, I really fucked myself, didn’t I?”

The pair shared a chuckle before the Canadian heard her name called to get up to the start. Clarke held her breath though, hoping that was it. It was a tacit acknowledgement, but it was loud enough, she thought. Lexa was camaraderie and a bit of an escape in the middle of the most stressful two weeks of her life. That was it. It didn’t need to be dissected. Clarke found a bit of reprieve, and she wouldn’t think about it too much. She certainly didn’t want to get a talk from an overprotective family member. Not for a crush, which was all this was.

“Go put on a show, Jansen,” Clarke called. “Tomorrow we’ll start over and fight for gold.”

“Won’t be much of a fight,” Anya tossed over her shoulder as she tugged on her helmet and walked out of the tent.

Left to herself, she heard the crowd roaring for whatever the next competitor was doing. Clarke took the moment though, and basked in her most perfect run ever. It was a feeling that nothing could ruin. She marinated in that moment and smiled as she finally caught her breath.

Maybe it was a lucky charm.

XXXXXXXXXX

Dinner was entirely too nice. Clarke hadn’t expected to feel so good, or to have her parents be so excited for her. Maybe it was the arena, that they could see and hear and understand what it all meant to her. Maybe it was just figuring out that she didn’t have to put all of her hopes and dreams before them for their approval. Maybe it was just a hell of a run, and even they could understand something like that.

“You did so good. It’s still a little terrifying watching, but wow,” her mother grinned as they found the restaurant Kane had googled and added to an itinerary. “You did great. I liked your double alley oop. The announcer said it doesn’t get done ever.”

“Yeah, Bellamy wasn’t sure about adding it, but I thought it looked good in practice. My first score was good enough, but I wanted to really set the bar, and with Anya attempting the 1080...”

“An Olympic finalist,” Kane shook his head and smiled. “If I would have known this was waiting the first time you fell on your butt when I took you down the bunny slope… I just wouldn't have believed it.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile as they sat at their table. It felt a little good to make them proud. It felt even better that they made the effort. It felt like a compromise had been reached somehow.

“What are you guys going to get up to tomorrow before the finals? I’ll be able to hang out more after. Big Air isn’t for a week.”

“I got invited to go see an old friend, Dr. Jaha. Do you remember him?” Abby said as she perused the wine list. “He left to take a position out here when you were… Maybe six or so.”

“Vaguely.”

“We’re getting a tour of UBC’s research labs,” Kane explained. “I think it’s a bit of an undercover sales pitch to your mother, but what do I know?”

“They don’t have the budget for both of us,” she shook her head. “And I’m happy at my lab.”

“Would you take it if they did?” Clarke wondered.

Abby looked to Kane who just looked back and offered a small smile and a shrug. Clarke liked their language. She liked that she had a shit father, and a great dad who supported her as best he could. Marcus Kane bought her the first snowboard she ever owned when she turned eight. He also built her mother a house.

In the dim light of the restaurant, Clarke finally let out a breath, that she was happy they were there, and for a moment, she didn’t feel like the fuck up that couldn’t talk to them about life. She felt vaguely like an adult. Her parents might debate it given that she played in the snow for a living, but after the performance she just gave and the fact that she made the finals with a shot at a medal. It proved something.

“Maybe?” Abby shrugged again, something she wasn’t known to do, giggling slightly. “You’re always in Colorado or Idaho anyway training. I might see you more if we lived on the same continent.”

“I still train in the summer back home.”

“Maybe four months,” her mother reminded her. “If you’re not competing.”

“You don’t have to uproot your life for me, seriously.”

“We’re putting the wagon way before the horse,” Abby reminded the pair. “We’re getting a tour and having dinner with a dear old friend. Nothing more.”

“He’s sending a car,” Kane leaned closer with a grin, spilling it all to Clarke. “A folder of information was delivered to the suite about an our ago.”

“Sounds a little less friendly and a little more showboating,” Clarke agreed.

“Yes, can you bring a bottle,” Abby asked the waiter, ignoring them. “Champagne. My daughter just qualified for an Olympic final tomorrow. Yeah, her,” she nodded as the waiter politely smiled at Clarke. “We’re going to celebrate.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and adjusted the napkin in her lap.

“Just one glass. I do have to get up and, you know, compete.”

“We’re celebrating you accomplishing all you have,” Kane shook his head. “And tomorrow, we’ll celebrate your medal.”

“Don’t jinx me.”

“You kicked ass today. You’re going to do the same tomorrow.”

“I know we haven’t always understood, or thought this was a good idea, but you’ve…” her mother smiled warmly at her across the table. “You’ve really done something amazing and important, Clarke. You can still get a degree, but I want you to kick ass tomorrow.”

“I’m going to try, that’s for sure,” Clarke agreed as the bottle was delivered. “But I think we should drink to Mom’s woo-ing and maybe getting a better funded lab.”

“We can drink to it all,” Abby shook her head as Kane poured. “To being at the Olympics, with our daughter, the Olympian.”

Unsure of where the change in their attitudes was coming from, Clarke didn’t question it too much. It felt good, to have their support. It felt good, for them to acknowledge that they saw the hard work she’d put in. So she took her glass and clinked it with theirs.

“To being here,” she echoed before taking a sip. It tingled her throat and she hopped into debating what to get for dinner with her parents, warm and bubbly all over.

XXXXXXXXX

It wasn’t that late, as her parents dropped her off at the Village before returning to their hotel for the night. Clarke checked her watch again and sighed as she stood in the middle of the small, wintery town that had popped up, picturesque and full of athletes and trainers mingling and walking through the brisk cold, puffs of their breath disappearing into the crisp, clear night sky.

With a heavy sigh, she squinted and looked up at her building before shoving her hands in her pockets and checking the time again, though it hadn’t changed since the minute ago when she looked.

It wasn’t that late, only after nine. Her competition wasn’t until six in the evening the following day, despite knowing full well that she’d be preparing in the hours before. And she kind of wanted to know what was going to happen next to Luke and Leia and Han. Mostly the movie, she told herself as she set her jaw and made a hard right, veering toward the other side of the Village.

When she got off of the elevator on Lexa’s floor, Clarke heard the noise and grew a little nervous. Naturally, she’d celebrate with her team. She should have left. She could have backed right into the elevator had she any sense at all. But the doors closed and her back hit the metal and Clarke realized she was there, now.

“Oh my, oh my,” some cheered as Clarke walked through the hall, dodging bodies toasting to their success, all manner of red, white, and blue on display. “We have a visitor!”

Clarke recognized a face or two from when she’d looked through Lexa’s Instagram. She gave the gaggle that sprawled on the floor and bed in one room a small wave and smile. One climbed up and approached the doorway, tape still on her legs, hair in a messy, wet bun.

“Hey, you’re… the snowboarder, right?” she grinned. “From Australia?”

“Yeah, that’s… I’m one of them, at least.”

“The one who had a great run today?”

“It was alright,” she shrugged.

“We watched the video. Pretty sick.”

“Thanks. Felt good. I should congratulate you all. Impressive win. A shut out, if that’s what you call that.”

“All me,” she beamed proudly as the rest of the team hooted and clapped. “I’m Em. Goalie. Thanks for hosting that welcome party the other night. We all had a blast.”

“That was you?” a few called from the floor.

There was music playing quietly, or at least what seemed quietly because they were all feeling quite excited and loud, recounting and celebrating. It was a little disorienting, to see so many women in sports bras and shorts, just walking around with abs and muscles. It was like being trapped on Themyscira. And Clarke didn’t know where to really look, except that Lexa wasn’t there.

“I heard there’s going to be one on the sixth floor tomorrow, celebrating the first round of medals. Some French speed skaters.”

The team got excited again, drowning out any more suggestions, agreeing that they had to go, which made Clarke feel a little accomplished at least. But the goalie was still standing there, eyeing her a little more carefully than the others, less easily distracted.

“You’re here to see our fearless captain then?”

“I, uh,” Clarke furrowed, racking her brain to figure out if Lexa was the captain or not. “If she’s the one who had the hat trick, then yes.”

The goalie nodded and leaned against the door as she crossed her arms. It didn’t really seem right that everyone in the room had biceps. And traps. The traps were…

“She’s at a family dinner still. It was a pretty decent day at work for the Woods clan, despite you kicking Anya’s ass.”

“I wouldn’t call her third place finish in qualifiers a huge loss.”

“You must not know them that well,” she snickered to herself.

“I think it’s a bit different for Anya.”

“Maybe. But still, a lot to celebrate. Do you want to wait? You can hang out with us. We aren’t that scary.”

A loud argument broke out followed by shrieks of laughter.

“I might head back. Try to keep calm tonight and prepare, I guess,” Clarke decided. “If you… could you let her know I stopped by?”

“Have you maybe considered giving her your number?”

“I kind of like keeping it… casual? That’s not the right word. Low-tech.”

“I’ll let her know a beautiful Australian was looking for her. I’m sure it’ll tickle her after the day she’s had. A hat trick in her first Olympic game and a babe making house calls.”

“Aw, you think I’m a babe?” Clarke teased.

“Not my type. Just thinking about what Lex might call you.��

Clarke chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“I appreciate it. Thanks. And congrats again.”

“Yeah, you too,” she called as Clarke made her way back down the hall.

Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe Clarke didn’t need to see a complete stranger, three nights in a row. It was probably safer that way. Less of a risk of getting attached. Clarke pressed the button and left the women to celebrate their victory. She didn’t think about the looks Lexa’s friend had given her. She didn’t think about the tiny prickling disappoint that she didn’t get to see her. Clarke walked back to her own room and watched the highlights of Lexa’s game on her phone as she trudged through the cold.

XXXXXXXXXX

In just over an hour, Clarke did all of the work she could. She’s returned emails, something she was never keen on doing. She checked her schedule her publicist sent over. She posted a few pictures from the events, and commented on others, putting in her activity time. In a very dumb turn of events, she checked Lexa’s social media. Lexa being pummeled by her teammates in the locker room was featured. Followed by the her knocking gloves after a goal, shouting her joy. The last picture was Lexa at a table in a restaurant similar to the one Clarke had just found herself at with her parents, dimly lit and full of amazing food. She smiled and let an older gentleman Clarke assumed was her grandfather put an arm around her, her cousin on the other side. Clarke recognized Aden from the cafeteria and a smaller woman tucked against his side. Coach sat at the head of it while Lexa hugged her grandmother tightly.

It made Clarke smile, to see it.

She liked it, as if by reflex, as if it was normal to like the picture of a girl she’d slept beside twice and kissed and been disappointed in not seeing.

So convinced was she, that when there was a knock on her door, she assumed it was Bellamy who had taken to incessantly bothering her to come hang out with the rest of the team. But it was nearing eleven, and she couldn’t do it.

But then there was Lexa Woods, standing at her door, no longer trapped as just a picture on her phone.

“You,” Clarke murmured, surprised and relieved.

“Me,” Lexa smiled, bigger than ever before. “You.”

Clarke didn’t say anything, just shifted slightly so the hockey player could pass. She closed the door and watched her aimlessly walk around, hands in her back pockets, stupid smile firmly on her lips.

“Anya was singing your praises tonight. Apparently even she can’t do a double alley oop. At least not yet, she reminded me.”

“I might not have shown her that one yet. Thought she’d like the surprise.”

Lexa nodded and toed the ground, her shoulders moving as she took a deep breath.

“You kicked ass today. I couldn’t make it in time to watch, but I was watching with my dad during Aden’s shoot out.”

“Heard you did alright yourself,” Clarke shrugged. The smile got dopier, if it were possible. It was incredibly endearing. Too much. “I was impressed. I only asked for two goals.”

“I’m a bit of an overachiever. It’s been a curse, really,” Lexa shrugged, carefully taking her coat off. The sweater below clung to her broad shoulders as she flexed and folded it over a chair. “I was given a message by secretary slash goalie that, and this is a quote from her, not my words at all: ‘a smoking hot Australian snowboarder showed up to celebrate with me,’ and that I was an idiot for not giving you my number.”

Lexa had taken the few steps that separated them while Clarke remained rooted against the door. They were nearly toe to toe. Clarke thought she could feel the words wafting across her neck.

“I quite like her.”

“Is it true then?”

“That you’re an idiot? Probably,” Clarke grinned. Hands moved to her hips and she jutted them out slightly.

This Lexa… this Lexa was different than the girl from the hallway and the girl who watched Star Wars in bed. This Lexa was not the Lexa that flopped around in the bed, refusing to get out. This Lexa had a smirk to her. This Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hips and dug her fingers in a little more firm than before. This Lexa was brimming with confidence and sureness that was, as Clarke had feared, downright lethal.

“That you wanted to celebrate with me.”

“I’m actually very invested in Leia,” Clarke decided, looping her arms around Lexa’s neck. “I was promised another movie, and I figured you might need to wind down after your day.”

“I could go for that. But what about you? Wound up at all? “

Her lips were hovering right there, but Clarke didn’t lean forward an inch. They danced, around each other slightly, until their noses touched, until Lexa closed the distance.

“A little,” Clarke swallowed roughly.

When Lexa dipped down to kiss her, finally, Clarke sighed against her mouth before tugging her arms tighter. It was not like the first kiss. It wasn’t even like when they were nearly naked in her bed just a day ago. This kiss was… This was the kiss. She didn’t have time to dwell on what the kiss meant, just that it was the kiss. The defining kiss. The important kiss.

Lips moved to her neck as she rooted her hands in Lexa’s hair. Hands held her still, tugging her closer.

“I’m not distracting you, right?” Lexa whispered against her ear. But Clarke was in a fog, and she shook her head, finding lips again and biting.

When Lexa tried to pull herself away to make sure, Clarke didn’t let her.

“No, you’re not, I promise,” she murmured.

“You have finals tomorrow.”

“Yup.”

Clarke tugged at the sweater until Lexa stood a little straight and finally let her go enough to tug it over her head. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were dilated behind those glasses, now slightly askew on her face. Clarke pulled them off of Lexa’s face before carefully folding them and placing them on a counter behind her. She reached back forward and tugged Lexa’s shirt until she was pressed against the door once more, the hockey player’s entire body pinning her there, hands rooted on either side of her head.

“This is okay?” Lexa asked one final time, holding herself just in Clarke’s focus.

She hadn’t lost her confidence, her smirk, as she ran a hand along Clarke’s neck and tapped her thumb along the collarbone there.

“Yes. I promise.” The hockey player searched her face, squinting slightly, wagering if it was. “Call time isn’t until two, and frankly I have a lot of nervous energy after my performance today and expectations and my parents… so yeah. This is very okay. Very needed. Celebrate all over me, if you want.”

With a burst of laughter, Lexa nodded and debated before turning her sights back to the task at hand. They grinned at each other for a moment before Lexa leaned down again, putting her hands back on Clarke’s hips before slipping them around her.

In an instant she was wrapping her legs around Lexa’s waist and clinging to her neck even tighter than before.

“Don’t hurt yourself. I can’t be the reason for the demise of the US National Women’s Hockey Team captain before she’s out of prelims,” Clarke teased.

“Let me show off a little,” Lexa shrugged. “I might have some energy I need to burn off.”

“So you’re going to bench me?”

“Would you like that?”

It was oddly appealing in a way Clarke hadn’t considered before. Before she could put too much mental effort into the image though, Lexa knelt in her bed and slowly lowered her, hovering them there while kissing her neck.

“Please fuck me,” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s lips as she was pressed into the pillow.

Lexa moaned at the polite request and bit her neck as she scratched at her scalp. Clarke filed away the fact that dirty talk and scratching seemed to do the trick.

In a matter of a minute, she’d been stripped down completely as Lexa knelt between her legs and surveyed her. Clarke watched her face, and she saw her chest heaving, as if she were nearly out of breath. Lexa pushed her hair away from her face before deciding on a hair tie from her wrist to hold it back.

“You,” Clarke nudged her chin.

Lexa knew. She tugged off her shirt and bra and Clarke took her turn appreciating. She touched the tiny little maple leaf tattoo on Lexa’s hip, not noticing it before.

“What if I told you that you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen,” Lexa asked, finally holding Clarke’s gaze.

“I think we’re past the chatting up portion. You did good.”

“I still needed you to hear it.”

A hand was pressed against her chest, then slid down her torso before moving back up again. Clarke watched Lexa focus on her hand before adding the other, touching all that she could. It made her back arch up to help.

“Have you decided the answer to my favorite question?”

“What’s that?”

“Whose bed?” Clarke grinned as hands grabbed her hips again and pressed them into the mattress to keep her rooted.

“Is this an invitation?”

“I swear to God, if you don’t--”

Clarke choked on the words as Lexa leaned down and settled between her thighs. They knew which bed.

A really good, very tiny distraction, she chanted to herself as her eyes bolted shut and her head tossed back. She rooted her hands in Lexa’s hair again and gave in.

100 notes · View notes

unhealthyfanobsession · 3 years

Note

For the Olympics AU:

A picture of Nesta and Cassian talking (more like arguing tbh) gets leaked to the press and people start shipping them very very hard. And because of it they are asked to do interviews together and Nesta despises the whole situation but Cassian adores it.

Love your blog 💕

LOVE this prompt! This one will carry through future snippets I think because it also ties Mor in with the press angle.

Winter Olympics Snippet 6

Nesta was being punished by her own poor blood circulation. It was a genetic issue. Which meant that like many other things, this was her father’s fault.

It was his fault that she ended up shivering on an all too romantic looking balcony. In an all too perfect position for a photographer to point a zoom lens just when an all too handsome Italian snowboarder came up behind her and settled his all too warm jacket around her shoulders.

Even Nesta had to admit the photo was good. Her surprise at Cassian’s presence made her look all wide eyed and starstruck. Cassian’s casual smirk paired with his gentle touch made him look roguish and enthralled at the same time.

And it all happened the day after she had so vehemently denied any involvement with Eris. Which lead to easy speculation that she was trying to make sure Cassian didn’t get jealous.

Oh that poor man, the teenagers went on in their Instagram comments, having to watch everyone asking about Nesta and Eris while he is cast to the sidelines (right, like Cassian had ever been cast to a sideline in his LIFE.)

No, went on other moon eyed children, poor Eris. The pining partner and best friend, cast aside for a foreign, rugged bad boy.

It was quite the romantic drama the internet had concocted in a single night and from a single photo.

And she was the main character.

“Is it so much to ask,” Nesta slammed her tray down next to Emerie’s, “for people to focus on my skating instead of all the men I am not fucking.”

“Why aren’t you fucking them?” Was Emerie’s full-mouthed response. Nesta only stared at her. “Ok, why aren’t you fucking the Italian one.”

Nesta sighed, “Et tu, Emerie?”

“Oh come on, it’s half the fun of the Olympics.”

Nesta sighed, “I’m not here for fun. I just want to keep my head in the game and never speak to that stupid blonde interviewer again.”

“Want me to sleep with her so she’s distracted?” Emerie’s wiggled her eyebrows.

Nesta scoffed, then narrowed her eyes. “You already slept with her, didn’t you?”

“A lady never tells.” Emerie grinned, “So obviously I will tell all. Yes. Right after your interview.”

Nesta groaned.

“What is wrong, amore mia?” Nesta groaned even louder at the smug, teasing, deeply accented voice behind her.

“You can’t sit here!” She shrieked when he went to set his tray down across from her.

“Why ever not?” He made a show of getting comfortable in the chair. Leaning back, stretching out his ridiculously long legs until one of them brushed against hers .

Nesta glared. “People are talking. As you well know.”

“People will always be talking about people like us,” he shrugged.

“Oh.” Emerie broke in, nose wrinkled up in distaste, “Now I get why you aren’t actually sleeping with him.”

Nesta almost choked on her food holding back her laugh. She did love Emerie.

Emerie turned to Cassian, “You could’ve had a wing man if you weren’t so arrogant.”

Cassian grinned. Wide and sunny and genuine.“Canadians consider it arrogant to tell the truth?” Nesta rolled her eyes. “This explains a lot.” He looked at Nesta, appearing to genuinely contemplate the new piece of information he fancied he had gleaned. “I speak with the same confidence about my faults.”

“I’m surprised you think you have any.”

“Oh I have many faults,” Cassian smiled, brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. “Perhaps we could discuss them over-”

“No, thank you.” Nesta said quickly. Too quickly. Then sighed, because something about his admission made him seem more human. Human enough that the pain in his eyes actually made her feel something. Gross. “I’m not… I can’t… do that. Not with all this scrutiny. Not when everyone already thinks…” Nesta looked up, met his gaze head on, “When I win a gold medal, I won’t have the headlines put a man’s name before my own. I won’t let my story be told in relation to a man.”

“What about Eris?”

“Him too.” Nesta kept her head high. “We will win together, but I will be damned if the reporters ever describe me as some man’s girlfriend. I deserve my own name. My own description.”

“Yes,” Cassian nodded his head once, an unsettlingly intent look in his eye, “you certainly do.”

#nessian #nessian fanfiction #nesta archeron #cassian #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #nesta and cassian #sarah j maas #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #acotar #emerie #emorie

56 notes · View notes

puppypeter · 3 years

Text

✨ All fics are complete! ✨

He Loves Me Cause I’m Cute, He Thinks I’m Pretty Funny | 2588 words 📱

He watches it back one more time after it posts, checking for typos in his subtitles and captions, and has to laugh again.

Steve fucking Rogers? His brain thought he could pull Captain America, literal superhero and America’s favorite sweetheart?

“Hello I’m a 35 year old amputee living in New York and I think that I could get Steve Rogers.”

the one where bucky posts a tiktok and steve is utterly smitten.

Summer Slipped Us Underneath Her Tongue | 10712 words 🧳

Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk.

Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown.

The rest is, as they say, history.

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet | 3853 words 🧑🏼‍🍳

“I made soda bread.” Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.” The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

Ollie Meets Bagel | 5517 words 🥯

He was a skater boy, Steve said let's get bagels, boy.

Steve wants to start doing this twenty-first century thing properly. He gets help in the form of skateboarding, skateboarders, bagels, and Sam Wilson.

Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

#stucky #steve rogers/bucky barnes #bucky barnes/steve rogers #stucky fics #stucky fic #stucky fic rec #stucky fic recs #stucky fics rec #stucky fics recs #stucky fan fiction #stucky fiction #stucky ao3 #stucky complete #stucky au #adorable stucky fics

380 notes · View notes