#and i just literally do not have time to do schoolwork so im failing like two weeks into the semester

[kinemortophobian]

-

[pjsk-writin]

hi amia it’s nearly half past two in teh morninf and i stayed true to my word and have been readjng fics this entire time😋😋

i am so unbelievably sleepy so im gonna finally go to bed, but how can i ever do that without requesting something from my fav writer themself??🫣

may i simply request akito and rui with an s/o that sleeps for really long periods of time and still wakes up sleepy? like, they can say “i’m gonna go take a quick nap” and then wake up 8 hours later and start whining about how sleepy they are in class 😨 literally me fr like, wasn’t the length of ur nap equivalent to a literal nights sleep..??

now that’s that, im now sadly gonna sign off becausue im dosinf off as i type this😞😞

have a good rest of ur day, ily!! /p

- A , ur always sleepy anon <3

( omg that’s what i’m gonna call myself now )

BESTIE OMGS...... and WAA that is such an honor <3 and THAT'S SO ME FR HEL....but have a good day, i love yall/p and i hope you like this!! <3

♡ SLEEPY - Akito Shinonome and Rui Kamishiro x Reader

Akito:

Akito cares about you a lot, which also means that he cares about your health. So, he obviously notices how sleepy you are, and tells you to rest up more

You can imagine his absolute disbelief when you come to him the next day looking like you didn't sleep at all

"Hey, didn't I tell you to sleep?" "I did...for 8 hours." "You what?"

He's bewildered that not only did you manage to properly sleep, but you were still tired?

After just staring at you for a bit, he just sighs, taking off his jacket before placing it over your shoulders

"Go to sleep, I'll cover for ya." By covering for you, he means shielding you from the teacher and asking someone else for the notes

He doesn't do this every time you come to class sleepy, but it happens often enough for him to hand you his jacket on instinct <3

Rui:

Rui also cares about you, don't get him wrong! He just prefers to tease you on how sleepy you get <3

He did challenge you to sleep better though, but he was still a bit confused when you came in looking tired

"Hmm, did someone not take my challenge seriously?" "I did, I did! I slept for 8 hours..."

At first, he wouldn't believe you. Nobody sleeps for that long and is still that tired

...Nobody except you, apparently. You were still dozing off and he had to keep waking you up. Eventually he just shakes his head at you in disbelief

"You never fail to fascinate me." "...Is that a good or bad thing?" He just smiles at you before going back to his schoolwork

He doesn't interfere with your sleepiness because he thinks it's cute, but know that in the back of his mind, he's trying to find ways to help you feel more refreshed after your naps <3

[psychesetra]

why tf do parents go "but who will take care of you???" when u say u dont want kids

like wtf??

NO

i dont want to burden my kid like that wtf

every time my parents ask me if im gonna take care of them im incredibly close to saying no bc of all the shit they do

but i say yes bc they guilt me into itdo they just,,, want me to do that???

to my kid??

like

EW

no im gonna let my kid be independent and not have to take care of me i will not burden them

also i hate how society is collapsing on itself to the point where little children are incredibly compelled to male a change

and parents are lik "why tf ur grades a B+" SORRY MOM. SORRY IM TRYING TO DO MY BEST WITHOUT YOUR HELP SO THAT YOU GUYS STOP GUILTING ME ABOUT BEING TIRED????

and then they go "oh but the adults are taking care of it" EXCUSE ME??? WHAT ADULTS??? I KNOW MORE ABOUT THE DAMN ISR-PAL CONFLICT THAN YOU DO

i have so many funds in my blog but my parents don't know what the hell is going on

they BARELY understood the ch-ph conflcit even AFTER i explained it to them

its as if we're the adults now school is essentially the same as office work with the depression a lot of us have and then we have to deal with the political stuff our parents are too busy to think of and ACTUALLY HELP

as kids we CANNOT DO ANYTHING

WE'RE UNABLE TO BE INDEPENDENT HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DONATE TO FUNDS IF WE DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY

parents smh

our parents only have three MAIN issues imo: work, family and money

kids on the otherhand, TEENAGERS AND CHILDREN are thinking of family, parent's finances, parents, their own schoolwork, their parent's work, and political shiz

i used to calculate my parent's money to help them

smh why are we making kids do things we can do why are adults allowed to laze around in the house in the excuse of teaching kids chores

DO IT WITH US MORONS

MAYBE THEN WE'LL LEARN

actually the simple fact we as children can understand all these societal problems is terrifying

parents literally tel us "when i was your age i was playing outside lang" EXACTLYYOU DIDNT WORRY AVOUT IF YOUR DAMN COUTNRY WAS GOING TO SUFFER WAR

OR IF ANOTHER WAS GOING TO BE WIPED OFF THE MAP

parents complain and complain abt their kids but they fail to see the incredibly big picture that their kids are doing more for the world than they are AT THE AGES OF 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, WHATEVER DAMN AGE IT IS THEYRE DOING A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN THE 40 YR OLDS STUCK IN THEIR OFFICES WHINING AND WHINING

sorry i just needed to stop choking on that

idk what to tag but pls reblog if you see this

[queerwhohatesithere]

hey guys. what do you do when you actually want to kill yourself. pls don’t report this post or anything, im okay or will be

my biggest support right now is my cat. my apartment is deteriorating and i’m moving soon. i can barely muster the energy to eat, and i can’t afford food so i’m relying on whatever i already have and food banks. i had to ask for money in discords i’m in and i’m humiliated. and SA tw, i was raped last saturday. despite knowing that people always say, “it’s not your fault” it fucking feels like it. one of my biggest supports didn’t believe me that last time i was assaulted (long story) and it WRECKED me. she believes me on this. she always believes me. just had/has a blind spot for that one person. it hurts. it hurts so fucking bad. i have chronic fatigue and chronic pain so i never feel rested and my muscles are aching asf. i haven’t had the motivation to brush my teeth and can tell i have cavities i can’t afford to fix. if i want to get into the college i want i’ll have to do school full time in the fall and work less. i’m already struggling financially. i don’t know how i’m going to do it, and i have so much school ahead of me. this is my first semester and it’s already killing me. i’m trying to cope. i’m trying to check the facts. going to my DBT group. but it takes everything out of me to go to work, to barely get my schoolwork done and not have the motivation most nights to work on it. to feed my cat. and i share my dog with my ex and haven’t had him the last week but when i do have him, it takes everything in me to take him outside. all my money is going to lyft and uber bc the buses are unreliable. on the weeks i have my dog i can’t take the bus home even if i wanted to bc i’ll be home later and he’ll have been crated for too long. even this new fucking taylor album just feels dull. it feels like nothing can make me happy anymore. i feel utterly devoid, broken, and unwanted. i have too much going on and too much to do but can’t shed any of my responsibilities. i just. want to shrivel up into a ball and die. but what’s worse is knowing i don’t actually want to die, i want to live. i just feel like i can’t go on like this. and it sucks. the one form of sweet release i could have i can’t have. i’m disillusioned by anything i could try that wouldn’t permanently disfigure me if i fail. so i know that even if i DO make another attempt, i’ll end up right back in that hospital. and no one will visit me.

just. anything! anyone reading this! i feel like i’m shouting into the void! please. give me anything, any semblance of hope, any reason to keep going, any coping skills you have. i’m grasping at straws but i’m desperate. i’m trying SO hard to survive but i’m losing weight again and being hungry all the time makes me tired and cranky. i feel like im losing my mind, and im so scared, all the time.

how you deal with the person you loved most in the world leaving you? and literally thinking you’re crazy, saying that to your face.

with having memory issues to where i can’t even remember when she apologized.

with being in pain. all the time. all the fucking time.

how? how do i deal? how do i cope? how do i LIVE?

[vaugarde]

.

[mothbeasts]

Feeling so bad but also if I take a nap now it'll ruin my sleep schedule again and I JUST got it fixed

[hprse]

Anyways literally if you are a teacher and assign classwork with a specific due date and after that point no matter WHAT refuse to unlock it i hope you get punched like legit.

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

[chuuyrr]

Hello!! I was wondering if you could do bb scarlet reader when she’s grown up and her and the boy from the park are dating now and gojos just like really clingy and whiny cause he’s not the only boy anymore thank you 😊‼️

scarlet witch! fushiguro! reader with a clingy! dad! gojo

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): none, just some dad! gojo being clingy and whiny

we've all seen a clingy scarlet bb fushiguro before, it's time to turn the tables >:) thank you so much for requesting and for being patient, happy reading anon <3

(p.s. this is a continuation of this. do check it out and my other works :D likes + reblogs are always and highly appreciated!! sadly, i didn't proofread this so um, expect typos and possibly shitty grammars, sorry im really sleepy because it's nighttime already D: goodnight wjsjhwhdks)

fast forward to several years later, you were no longer a baby but a grown up. though you never moved out of gojo's roof, you were always busy. not just from schoolwork and part-time, but ever since you had a boyfriend you were barely home because you were now dating your first and childhood crush; the same boy you met at the park.

gojo was starting to regret allowing you date that boy. he should have really meant what he said when he told you're supposed to wait until your thirty years old. he missed having you around and spending with time with you because ever since you dated that boy from the park, you'd go straight to bed once you got home—saying you were exhausted after a long day and when he's about to ask you if you want to go out and eat, or go to the movies, you'd dismiss his offer saying you're seeing your boyfriend.

it was always boyfriend this and boyfriend that, so it didn't take long for gojo to become clingy and whiny towards you. he finally understood how you exactly felt when he failed to give you attention due to his busyness and god did it hit hard. was this karma?

you didn't notice it first until it became a routine. when you're about to leave, may it be a date or just going out, gojo started embracing you longer which confused you because these embraces were usually quick.

"uh, hey dad?"

"yeah, kikufuku?"

"you've been hugging me for ten minutes now.. i need to go.."

"one more minute."

from longer hugs, it became to gojo clinging onto you. like, he started to follow wherever you go when you're not with your boyfriend as if he were a lost puppy and it got to the point that you're about to stand up from the couch, he latches onto your arm which confuses you even more.

"dad! what are you doing?!" you asked, trying to pull your arm from gojo's grasp.

"[name], don't leave meee." the limitless sorcerer whined childishly, holding your arm with both of his hands.

"but i need to go to the bathroom!" you exclaimed.

"we're not watching a horror movie, dad. even if we are, you never get scared. you will live!"

gojo is so shameless that even when you two are out in public or around his students, he'll continue to be clingy and whiny, and everyone is shocked because for one—gojo isn't the type to act like that at all. in fact, he was the opposite? like, he was either cocky, laidback or playful but not in such a way he is acting right now.

so, to see gojo acting childishly towards you was both funny and amusing, and completely out of character.

"hey, my boyfriend's here! i'll be going now guys."

you stood up from your seat, politely asking to be excused when gojo literally throws himself onto you, arms encasing you tightly.

"dad?!" "gojo-sensei?!"

you, megumi, yuji and nobara all had the same shocked and exasperated expression on your faces.

"don't go!" gojo whines as you attempted to push him away. embarrassment rising from you as your face started to match the color of your wiggly-woos.

"what the hell are you doing to [name]?" megumi raises a brow at the white haired man while yuji and nobara sweatdrops.

"dad! people are staring at us and my boyfriend is going to see you like this!" you say, eyes hardening into an annoyed glare.

having grown tired of your father's antics that were embarrassing you to the core especially in public, you finally decided to confront him about it because it was getting out of hand. you couldn't even leave the house anymore without having to use your wiggly-woos to restrain him.

"dad, what is up with you?"

you folded your arms across your chest, quirking a brow at him.

"nothing.." gojo sheepishly smiles at you and laughs.

"i'm serious, you're never this clingy and whiny. what's gotten into you?" you continued to pry, this time you spoke in a much calmer voice. "you always act like this when i'm about to leave or go do something with my boyfriend."

"it's just not fair, okay!?" gojo suddenly raised his voice, prompting you to step back for a second with your eyes widened.

"huh?" you muttered.

"you're always with that boy! it's not fair, alright? when you were little, i was the only boy in your life and now that you're all grown-up, you barely have time for me!" a childish pout broke through gojo's face.

you blinked profusely, a smile tugging on the ends of your lips. "so.. you're jealous?"

"no! yes—maybe, well kinda." you watched your father turn his face away from you, feeling embarrassed at his own confession.

"oh, dad! come here!" you burst out giggling, sauntering towards gojo. you wrapped your arms around him which he instantly returned. "you could just told me, you know."

"i just miss you.." gojo sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head. "so, so much kikufuku. it just feels like you don't need me anymore either."

"i do need you and i still love you—i always will because you're my dad!" you tightened your embrace around him, pressing your ear against his heartbeat. "you're also my first love! the first person who took me in and cared for me when toji died and left me and gumi-nii behind."

"i love you too, kikufuku." gojo's voice was now muffled as he pressed his face into your hair, feeling emotional. "i'm sorry for being clingy, i just couldn't help myself.."

"i'm sorry for making you feel like that too, i didn't mean to. i'll make it up to you." you say with a smile. "how does zoomies in the park sound?"

"aren't you a little too old for that?" gojo raised a brow at you, this time he was the one confused.

"what happened to "i will always be your baby'?" you pretended to act hurt and dramatically placed a hand on your chest.

both you and gojo ended up bursting into fits of laughter. with your father-daughter relationship rekindled, you two went to the park just like old times to do zoomies and you balanced your time more properly after this whole incident of gojo being clingy and whiny, so you'd also have time for him and not just your boyfriend because just like you said, you love your dad and it wasn't really your intention to make him feel unwanted or ignored.

gojo was still a bit clingy, but not as much as anymore since then because you kept your word and really made time for him, it made his heart incredibly happy <3

[azucanela]

17. 2AM CALLS | TODOROKI SHOUTO

1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: When Y/N can’t sleep, she decides, what better to do than call Shouto Todoroki himself. Of course, she didn’t actually expect him to pick up, seeing as it was 2AM. But when he does pick up, Y/N can’t help but feel comforted by his presence. 

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

WARNINGS:  brief mentions of nightmares, brief mentions of endeavor[yes he has a warning], 

A/N: as you can see im in the mood to write for bnha folks atm anyways its a lil short but like shouto os

If Shouto was honest, he hated structure. He hated the idea of a daily routine he had to follow, and it was probably because he’d been following a schedule since his childhood. He’d had the time he woke up, ate, trained, and slept all dictated for him, to ensure he was prepared for his future— more accurately the future his father wanted him to have.

Maybe that made him sound a little bit like an anarchist but Shouto didn’t particularly care. Now, that he was in the UA dorms, he’d never had so much freedom. He chose when he woke up, ate, went to bed, trained, everything was his choice. 

And his choice was to stay awake until 2AM because it’s the weekend and he can do what he wants. Of course, Shouto was being mildly productive, doing his homework ahead of time for not just his sake but also Y/N’s, full well knowing that she hasn’t even started yet and he’s going to have to explain it to her.

He’s putting his things away when his phone begin to vibrate on the desk, causing his brows to furrow. Shouto was fairly sure that nobody he knew was awake at this time, so he couldn’t help but wonder who was calling him as his eyes fell on the profile picture that had filled his entire phone screen. He’d taken it while they were out at some coffee shop she liked, Y/N had been staring out the window while she talked about a book she’d recently read, coffee in hand. Shouto thought she looked nice and snapped a picture, not that Y/N noticed as she was too engrossed in her rant. 

Why was Y/N awake right now?

He’d noticed her fatigue in class and asked if she’d been sleeping well. She’d answered yes, but that didn’t really soothe his worries, nor did this call. Shouto quickly realized that if he didn’t pick up soon she’d be forced to voicemail, and propped the phone up against the wall before hitting accept for the call. He couldn’t hear much except a small gasp, and her forehead was visible only for a moment before she directed her camera to aim towards the ceiling. 

“Y/N?”

The face of the girl in question appeared the screen, albeit only the side of her face was visible due to the poor positioning of her phone. “Hi, Sho.” She mumbles, face buried into her pillow, turning so that only half of her face is pressed against the pillow as she continues, “why are you up?

She sounds tired, and looks tired— something Shouto had learned was not to be mentioned— which left Shouto wondering just why exactly she hadn’t gone to bed. “I was finishing up some schoolwork.” Comes his reply, “and you?”

A small smile comes onto Y/N’s face as she hums in reply, inhaling deeply, Shouto notices that she’s wearing a shirt he recognized as his own. He finds himself thankful that she’s struggling to stay awake, failing to notice that a blush had dusted his cheeks as she replies, “bad dream.”

His brows furrowed at these words, though they were vague, Shouto had a feeling it hadn’t been the first night Y/N had been plagued by ‘bad dreams’ and made a silent note to himself to ask about it in the morning as he asked, “and why did you call me?” His face remained rather apathetic but Y/N seemed to notice the worry in his tone. 

“Just wanted to talk to you.” Y/N says, eyes finally flickering over to her phone screen, “you make me feel safe Sho.” 

Shouto’s mouth gaped open slightly at her words, he found himself at a loss as he stared. Though the entire career path that he was pursuing involved making others safe, Shouto felt his chest tighten at the fact that she felt safe around him, and they weren’t even in the same room. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as he spoke, “I see.”

Y/N laughed at his choice words, pulling her blanket up over her chin as she mumbled, “could you just stay on call for me?” Y/N rolled over, arms stretching above her head before one of them comes to rest over her eyes, “you don’t have to talk or anything just— just stay on the phone for a little bit. Please?” 

“Of course.” The words leave him almost instantly, and a small smile graces Y/N’s face as she shuts her eyes. “I will always keep you safe, Y/N. So, rest.” The girl’s eyes open, and for the first time since she’d called him, Y/N looks awake as she opens her mouth to reply, only for Shouto to continue, “besides. Your dorm isn’t too far from here, if you were attacked, surely I would know. Also, any villain foolish enough to attack a school of future Pro Heroes and actual Pro—” 

A laugh escapes her once more as she rolls back over to her side, now facing the phone, “always so literal, Shouto.” Silence follows her words for only a moment, “but... thank you. Really.”

Shouto doesn’t know how to respond, so he simply offers her a small smile accompanied by a nod of reassurance—an awkward nod, but a nod nonetheless. But the silence that followed didn’t feel all the awkward, if Shouto was honest it was a rather comfortable one that came between them, the sound of Shouto typing away at his now open computer while Y/N laid on her bed. He doesn’t know exactly how long the call went on, but it wasn’t long til Shouto realized that her questionable late night ramblings had ceased, his eyes returning to his phone screen once more to see her asleep. Chest rising and falling slowly with each breath, Shouto couldn’t help but be captivated by the sight of her.

He murmurs her name quietly, a test to see if she’s awake, and Y/N stirs with a small hum in response. “You should go to bed, Y/N.”

“You should too.” She grumbles, eyes still shut as she presses her head into the pillow. “I’m not the only one who needs sleep.”

“Then we both go to sleep, alright?”

She nods slowly, shifting slightly in the bed as her eyes opened slightly. “Goodnight Shouto—” Y/N yawned, and Shouto could see her finger move towards the phone, “love you, bye.”

Maybe it meant nothing to her. Just another passing moment, something completely accidental caused by a mix of sleep deprivation and stress. But those words had meant everything to him. Leaving Shouto to sit in his room, shock flooding as he stares at his phone, the end call screen flashing on phone. 

Shouto finds himself typing.

Shouto <3 Goodnight Y/N. I love you, too. [2:01AM]

TAGS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via asks or replies]

@shawkneecaps​

@shigarakis-fifth-hand​

@beifongsss​

[honxedew]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well. I was wondering if I could get a haikyuu matchup please?? I prefer to be matched with boys but any gender works out completely fine with me! I’ll put my description down below for ya!

So… my names Olivia and I’m 17. I go by she/her pronouns and I am straight! My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest). I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes. I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! Some of my favorite songs rn are Lay It Down - Steelix, Georgia Peach - Manwolves, Bag of Bones - MItski, Best Friend, and 2023 - Blue Rain Boots. I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. If I were to hang out with a friend I don't really mind what we do, but I like going to the movies or even just staying at home and watching tv. My perfect date would literally be anything! Like I was saying before, I really like movie dates so I think seeing a scary movie and then going for bubble tea would be fun! I also LOVE arcade/fair dates. So fun!! I think I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol. I can never decide on my favorite food but rn I really like rainbow sherbert and orange glazed chicken rn!! My favorite drink has to be bubble tea (I haven’t had any in forever but I really like Coconut Milk Tea with tapioca or Grapefruit Tea with Yogurt Popping Boba!!). To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1. I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this!

Im doing quite well thank you!~

@olivia-is-confused

I match you with kenma!💤

×You and kenma hit it off instantly when you ran into him while getting some boba, Him peaking an interest when he saw the horror t-shirt you were wearing.

×You both sitting and chatting about different slasher movies and him slipping in a few words about his latest favorite video games here and there.

×You both exchange phone numbers, since you both clicked instantly.

×He would defiantly put your name as 'Horror girl💀❤'

×Long night phone calls and staying up with him as you hear the vigorous tapping of his controller and bursts of excitement when he was able to beat a boss in his game.

×You cheering him on and telling him your proud of him, Always managed to make a smile plaster onto his face.

×When he soon found out about your severe anxiety and depression, it brought him down and made him feel terrible. He made a habit of checking in on you, asking how your day was or even putting small daily questions. Wanting to know if you wanted to see him play some volleyball matches.

×You eagerly agreed and found yourself going to every match of his, and if you were to ever happen to miss one you'd make it up to him by asking him if he wanted to get boba.

×You two started dating about 7 months after meeting, Him being the one to confess after a match you came to.

×He walked you home while he asked you about your day, making sure you were doing okay and watching your reddish brown hair glaze in the setting sun.

× It wasn't until you both made it to do the door that he leaned down to press his lips onto yours. It was a very quick peck but it didn't fail to make you become embarrassed and flustered.

×Lots of sleepovers and ordering take out, he would play a movie on his computer and spoon you while having his hands nuzzled around your body just from habit.

×his favorite place to kiss you would be the forehead or even cheek, if he was about to head out and play a match he would lean down and kiss your cheek. Kuroo waving to you and teasing kenma who playfully smacked him in return.

×To say the least he was amazingly happy to meet you or if even more.

Ps.Hope you enjoyed!

[yoonglie]

Double Trouble | jjk.

⤞ pairing: jungkook x reader

⤞ genre: university!au, cursed!au, tutor!au, fluff fluff, angst, smut

⤞ summary: jeon jungkook isn’t who he says he is, and all you want to do is help.

⤞ word count: 13k

⤞ warning: smut, cursing, attempted sexual harassment (not from main characters)

a/n: this is inspired by the otome Cinderella Phenomenon, which revolves around fairytale curses (10/10 would recomMend), and this tiktok by @/taestyfeed (which is REALLY hot btw). Also it’s been a while since I wrote something omg im very rusty. 

“Ugh Jimin I just don’t understand!” You dramatically threw your hands up, flinging your pen and slamming your face on the book in front of you. It was a good thing you both decided to hang out in the learning commons as opposed to the library, you were then able to groan your frustrations freely without being shushed so often. 

Jimin laughed and patted your head “What even are you studying for?”

“Art appreciation” You grumbled as you lifted your head and propped it against your palm.

Jimin laughed even harder “Isn’t that supposed to be pretty easy?” He asked.

You snorted. “It isn’t as easy as easy as I though it was.” 

“Well I’m sure you’ll get it soon. It’s getting pretty late and I’m sorry to be leaving you like this but I have to go, I fortunately don’t have any schoolwork going on and I’d rather spend the rest of my time watching netflix than listening to you groan your ass” He stuck his tongue out and you did as well.

You were thankful to have a best friend like Jimin but he really did suck sometimes. Sighing as you gave a small wave as he was nearing the exit, he sent a flying kiss your way. You just rolled your eyes. 

Okay I can do this

You cracked your knuckles in an attempt to hype yourself and got down to work, jotting down some points along the way. You didn’t realize you were so into your work that you were mumbling audibly the topic you were reviewing on. It was a voice that made you stop.

“That’s wrong” 

You look up and see a man across across the table to the left, holding a book. He has soft features and neatly swept straight hair. He looked really clean and presentable and the crisp white button up he was wearing really wrapped his whole look up. In short, he was cute... really cute. 

You didn’t notice you were slightly staring until he tilted his head, lips pressed in a thin line but with curious doe eyes. 

“Excuse me but what was wrong?” You asked. 

“It was André Derain and Henri Matisse who were the leaders of the fauvism movement” He said simply and went right back to his book. You looked your notes and he was indeed right, you wrote down wrong names. 

It was as if a light bulb shone above your head and as much as you didn’t want to do it, desperate times need... desperate measures. 

You stood up and propped your elbows on the desk. You honestly couldn’t care how stupid or desperate you looked, you needed this.

“Are you good at this subject? art appreciation?” You hurriedly said. 

The guy stared for a bit, noticeably taken aback and scratched the back of his neck “Uh, I guess?”

“Oh my god can you please please tutor me! I’ll uhh ah! I’ll tutor you too on any subject you like given that I took the class as well. Please, I’m not usually this dumb it’s just I took this class this semester thinking it was easy and did not pay attention this semester at all! I ended up flunking most my exams and I had to beg the professor not to fail me for the whole subject and so I ended up with a one-on-one presentation due in 3 weeks summarizing literally the whole semester so far! I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me” You beg, eyes even slightly watering. You weren’t usually this emotional but the stress and fatigue has definitely caught up to you.

You both were just looking at each other, you praying a silent prayer over in your mind. “Well... I am struggling with psychology a bit” He said sheepishly.

“Psychology? Great! I swear I am above average in terms of other subjects, it’s just this one subject that bit me in the ass. You don’t have to worry about me teaching you weird things.”

“It’s okay” He said.

You stuck out your hand to him “I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

He clasped his to yours a small smile gracing his face “I’m Jeon Jungkook, but please call me Kook” 

———

“Wait wait, Jungkook as in THE Jeon Jungkook” Jimin asked while you both were eating lunch at the cafeteria.

“He prefers being called Kook but yes, what about him?” You said while sipping on your favorite strawberry drink.

Jimin leans forward a bit and with a hushed voice he said “Honestly Y/N be careful, I heard some weird things about him”

“Like what?” You said in an equally hushed voice.

“Despite his quiet demeanor he’s actually a beast after night, a real party goer” He said.

You let out a breath you were holding, slightly terrified you might have had a creep as a tutor but was relieved “That’s it? I mean what’s wrong with that? Being the life of a party doesn’t mean you have to be one at uni too, must be tiring”

He placed a hand under his chin “Hmm you may be right but I don’t know man, people didn’t really word it the nicest way so...” He clapped his hand once. “That’s it. I’m gonna meet this guy and make sure he’s not some sort of perv or something” 

“I don’t need a babysitter” You said, rolling your eyes.

“Too bad, now let’s go. He might already be waiting” He pulled you up and you both went to the learning commons. True to what Jimin said he was there, with a book in hand.

“Hi I’m Park Jimin and I hope you take care of Y/-” You elbowed him in the stomach. 

“Okay you had your introductions, please leave” You push Jimin out while Kook was sitting there dumbfounded at the two of you.

“Hey I wasn’t even finishe-” 

“Out” You pushed him away.

Finally getting rid of him, you turned to Kook “I’m sorry about that”

“Seems like your boyfriend was a bit protective” He said with a shy smile.

You laughed a bit too loudly and wiped fake tears out of yours eyes “He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just an annoying little friend” 

You noticed Kook slightly perking up at that but paid no mind. 

“I see, anyway I can’t stay longer than 6pm so we better get started” He said as he started laying down learning materials for you. He came prepared as his station was littered with papers full of highlights and sticky notes. 

Kook looked up to you who was mesmerized by all the materials he had... you looked kinda cute. 

———

Kook started warming up to you three sessions in and since then you guys hit off pretty well. You realized how much of a gentleman he is, trying to explain the topics in a way that was digestible and easily remembered, knowing your time constraint. He was always motivating you and correcting you calmly even if you’ve said the wrong thing more than twice. 

“No, the Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss was by-” He started saying

“Wait wait! don’t tell me yet. It was by Johann Zoffany” You said proudly, confident that you got it right this time.

Kook chuckled slightly and you swear it was like ambrosia for your ears. “No it was by Antonio Canova” 

“Oh” You said dejectedly, sipping on your strawberry drink and propping your head up on the table while sighing. You were never good at names. 

He noticed how disappointed you looked and, throwing away all caution, reached for your free hand, squeezing it.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it” He said. You managed a weak smile.

You didn’t forget your end of the deal though. As payment for tutoring you, you were also tutoring him. He was a good student who listened intently to what you have to say, often asking relevant questions and picking up topics quickly. You really wondered why he needed help on this subject until he one day came a little late, an unusual thing for him, with a crestfallen look. Still, he tried to give you a small smile. 

You both got to the usual routine of teaching you but noticed he was a bit off so you stopped him. “Hold on” You said.

“Sorry, was I too fast? Are you not getting anything?” He asked with a confused look.

“Yeah, you, I don’t get it” You said with a concerned look. He didn’t say anything which urged you to ask “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

He leaned back on his chair and gave a deep sigh “I received my paper but I had a low mark. I thought I really did good this time. I’m sorry to disappoint you” He didn’t spare a minute telling you what was wrong. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder “Hey that’s okay, I’m not disappointed at all. I’m proud of you for doing your best” You offered a smile to which he returned.

“Thanks” He held the hand that was placed on his shoulder, sending tingles down your spine. Skinship was usual now for the two of you but you don’t seem to be getting used to it, electricity racking your body with every touch. 

“We’ll take the day off then” You said, removing your hand from him. 

“What?” He asked.

“You clearly aren’t in the mood and that’s okay! You don’t have to force yourself to do anything you know” You started “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” He said. His heart filled with gratitude.

You both even started sitting beside each other in class, so much that your usual seat mate for the class pouts whenever they don’t get to sit beside you anymore (although not minding after a while). The same goes with Kook’s friend Taehyung. 

He arrived class early one time and spotted Kook with an empty seat beside him.

“Hey man” Taehyung was already putting his bag down when Kook blocked him.

“This seat’s taken” He quickly said, placing his own bag down.

“Since when do you reserve seats for others” Taehyung raised an eyebrow, Kook never acted like this.

“Since I realized you were too noisy” Kook rolled his eyes.

“Hey!” Taehyung pouted and got the seat in front of him instead

You got to the room and your eyes immediately tried to scan for Kook, seeing him on the side, you gave a slight wave and bounded over to him.

“Hey is this seat taken?” You asked

“Nope” He said. 

Taehyung’s ears perked at the unfamiliar female sound conversing with his friend and looked. When he spotted them having a conversation he then realized Oh I get it.

“Hey, my name’s Kim Taehyung but you can call me Tae for short. I’m Kook’s friend” He said, surprising the two of you, beaming a boxy smile with arms stretched to shake your hand. 

You shook it and smiled “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

You, Kook and Tae became really good friends. You decided to introduce them to Jimin and he and Tae hit off really quickly, instantly becoming best friends while you and Kook, well, you don’t know how you feel about him. It’s true that you feel fluttering at the pit of your stomach whenever he touches or looks at you fondly, but you didn’t know if he felt the same so you tried suppressing the feelings. 

But it doesn’t help when he constantly makes your heart jump at every chance he gets. 

Head in between pages you groaned, not getting this bit of topic you were working on currently. Kook was very patient in trying to explain but you still weren’t get it and you were growing frustrated, especially since the presentation was nearing. 

Kook had just came back from a so called toilet break when suddenly a strawberry drink was laid in front of you.

You perked up and sipped on the drink, sighing in slight content.

“What’s this for?” You asked him, the giver of this precious gift.

You see his ears that were tinted pink as he scratched the back of his neck “Well you looked really frustrated and I wanted to give you that as some stress reliever. I noticed you keep buying the same drink and deduced it was your favorite”

“It is! Thank you, you really didn’t have to” You said, beaming and heart warming at the kind gesture. 

He dropped his shy demeanor after seeing how much you liked it and chuckled himself “Anything for you, angel”

You sputtered your drink and faced him “W-what? Angel?”

He placed a hand under his chin “Don’t like that? How about pumpkin? sweetie? munchkin?”

Your face reddened at every nickname and waved your hands in front of your face saying no the whole time

Kook laughed that beautiful laughed and pinched your cheek “I was just messing with you. Are in out of your head now? Best you get back to work”

You rubbed your sore cheek and looked down, trying to fight the grin that was itching its way to your face. 

———

“Jimin, I absolutely CANNOT go to a party” You huffed at him across the table at lunch.

“But your presentation is still next week and it’s a friday night” He said pouting.

“Exactly! All the more I should focus” You scolded.

“But it’s Seokjin who’s throwing the party, the senior, and you know his parties are the bomb” He said whilst gripping your arm and mustering the cutest puppy beg face.  

Seokjin did throw the wildest parties, you’ve seen it firsthand. You weren’t an avid party-goer like Jimin but you also didn’t avoid it, finding it fun, but you had priorities. 

“I really can’t you know” You pinched your nose bridge, slightly annoyed he wasn’t letting this go.

“Tae will be there and I bet so will Kook”

That made you stop in your tracks. You forgot about the word that got around about Kook being a nice quiet boy in school but a beast at night, the life of the party. You haven’t really asked anything related to it, too engrossed in your study, but now it piqued your interest. How different will he be from the quiet gentleman who offers you a strawberry drink because you’re stressed? How will he be dressed? Does he entertain ladies who throw themselves to him? Surely there would be a few, he is a handsome fellow. That thought made your heart twinge.

“I see that got your attention” Jimin smirked “I guess I’ll see you tonight” Flicking you in the forehead, he got all his things and headed out.

You groaned and placed your hands to your face. One little party won’t hurt

You walked to the party, Jimin in tow, with your head a little bit high. You always dolled yourself up for these kinds of events but tonight you glammed yourself extra special, not because you wanted to get a certain someone’s attention no. You were looking for a certain someone when suddenly Taehyung came into view

“Jimin! Hey Y/N you came!” Tae said, sporting his beaming smile “Jimin was dead set in trying to get you to come and I’m glad he did cause you look hot” He grabbed your hand and placed it above your head, twirling you all while you were laughing. 

It was then that you spot him. Kook was chatting with a bunch of seniors at a counter and he looks absolutely STUNNING. He was clad in all black, silver accessories adorning his ears, neck and fingers, with his hair long and wavy. He was dripping with confidence, from the way he stands to the way he talks, the people clearly interested in what he has to say. You notice upperclassmen Namjoon and Hoseok that seemed closest to him. 

It was Tae’s voice that snapped you out of your thoughts “I know you want to talk to him but it’s better that you do later on or just back in uni” He cautiously said.

Respecting his privacy and time with friends, you nodded. 

“I got the booze!” Jimin said, handing you a cup as Tae already had one. You didn’t even notice him leave.

A few drinks later, you were buzzed and confident, ready to take on whatever comes at you.... literally. You bumped into Kook and looked up at him. He tilted his head to the side in confusion but a smirk eventually etched itself to his face. Your heart started beating loudly, in rhythm with the pounding of your head.

“I see” Those were the words that he said as he left.

You blinked once then twice, hurt at the fact that he didn’t even acknowledge you. Then grabbing him by the arm, you made him face you to which earned you a glare as he ripped his arm from your grasp, looking at you disgustingly. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. 

“You” You pointed at his face “Have been ignoring me the whole night” 

He towered over you in an attempt to make you cower in fear but it didn’t have an effect on you, annoyance fueling your system. “Ignoring you? Sweetheart I don’t even know you” The way he says your newfound nickname was sweet, sickeningly sweet that it was unlike the way he usually talks to you, with bite lacing each word. 

You backed away slightly with hurt. He doesn’t know you? Was he pretending he didn’t know you so he wasn’t going to be embarrassed in front of his friends? You honestly didn’t know why he was acting like this.

“Did you forget about my existence? Why are you acting like a dick so suddenly?” You huffed, looking away and getting more pissed at every second. Alcohol not really helping your temper.

He grabbed your chin a little too harshly and tilted it up so that your eyes would meet. He had a small smile on his face but nothing about it was sincere “I don’t know you and you don’t know me. My name’s JK, darling and I don’t owe you any explanations. Now I suggest you go and never approach me again to save yourself from being an embarrassment” He winked and backed away from you, eventually leaving. 

It’s like you’ve been doused with cold water, immediately sobering up though your head was anything but clear. You were hurt and angry and confused. Tae and Jimin found you, but you said nothing and left. 

Monday rolled around and you were actively avoiding Kook. You didn’t sit beside him in class anymore and though he was slightly sad about it, it got worse when you suddenly came up to him just before your supposed tutoring session would start.

“I’m gonna learn by myself from now on, thank you for your effort but I don’t need it anymore” You huffed and Kook became confused

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, his heart slightly twinging and hands clammy. 

“So you just suddenly remember my existence now but you’re embarrassed to be seen with me in front of your friends?” You said, lips pressed in a tight line.

You saw Kook clench his hands, his face darkening. It’s as if he remembered something horrible, but he did not say a word. You sighed and walked away. Kook didn’t know why he didn’t stop you but he was livid. It was as if his body remembers what to do in situations like these and he hated it, he hated that monster. 

You thought it would be better now that you’re ignoring each other, you could get more focus, but you were anything but focused. Kook’s strange behavior definitely plagued your mind but you weren’t going to do anything about it until he apologizes. You gave him a chance but was met with disappointment. Tae and Jimin definitely noticed the drift between the two of you, not hanging with them as often as you all did. You told them it was because you were prioritizing the presentation but saw through your bullshit excuses which caused them to pester you until you told them what happened. Tae honestly couldn’t stand the tension, wanting the best for the both of them, especially Kook. It’s been a while since Kook acted like this, and he can definitely tell he cares about her a lot. Throwing all caution aside he thought This is for the best, I’m sorry Kook.

Tae called you and Jimin at the lunch table, relieved Kook wasn’t with them “What’s this super important meeting for?” Jimin asked.

“It’s about Kook” He started, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and continued “Just hear me out... it’s just, I can explain why he acted that way” Despite being still angry, you leaned forward in curiosity.

“He was actually born with a curse, a curse that caused him to have two alter egos, two entities, though both of them are still him. The one that fronts in the day is Kook but the one that fronts at night is JK, the one you met” Tae said. You were shocked. Two alters? That explains the rude behavior at the party. That actually wasn’t Kook.

“So the one that everyone has been calling a beast at night is actually this JK dude?” Jimin asked and Tae nodded.

“Yeah, he loves partying but I don’t like him. He’s.... a handful” 

You placed both your hands to your face “Oh my god I feel like shit. He should’ve told me!” You exasperated.

“He doesn’t wan’t a lot of people knowing his secret, both of them don’t” Tae smiled sheepishly

“Well thank you for telling me anyway. Now... do you know where he is?” You asked, determined to apologize. 

“He’s always at the learning commons after school, kind of hoping you’d come back if i’m honest” You groaned at that and headed out.

Kook sighed and looked at the clock, thinking whether he would go home or continue to wait for you, though you said you weren’t going to study with him anymore. He suddenly saw you burst through the door and he stood up, with you tackling him in a bear hug.

“I’m so so sorry Kook! Tae told me about it all and I’m so sorry” You said as you pressed your face against the crook of his neck. 

Kook’s ears burned red as your sweet smell enveloped him. Your warmth made him feel safe and though it’s only been a few days, he missed this, he missed you. He thought that this was worth Tae telling them so he wasn’t going to get mad at him.

“Hey it’s okay” Was what he said after you broke the hug and proceeded to sit down. 

"Our parents apparently angered a spirit back when my mom was pregnant but really didn't pay attention to it. When we were born they noticed something was wrong quickly and took us to get examined only to find out we were cursed. I front in the day most times, while he does at night. We can’t really be out for so long because our bodies get tired easily, leading for the other body to take over. We had a difficult childhood but eventually got into a routine. Doesn't mean I like him though, he's a real pain in the ass" Kook explained, ruffling his hair.

"Are both going to be like this forever? Can the curse be broken?" You asked with caution.

"I heard them say something along the lines of 'when the sun and moon meet' but I don't know what that means. Despite sharing the same consciousness, I don't really get to meet this guy. It's impossible" He exasperated, frustration bubbling in his gut although it went quickly as it came, already accepting this fate throughout the years. 

“Have you tried sending notes to each other?” You asked.

He hummed in agreement “Yes, voice messages too. Nothing worked”  

He sighed although he felt relieved that the secret is finally out but slightly worried what you might think of him. The worry washed away though as you reached your hand to grab his, a radiant smile he so loved along the way. Wait loved?

“Anyway!” He sprung up, clapping his hands. A twinge of pink dusted across his cheeks “We gotta get you ready for the presentation tomorrow”

“I’m fine you know-” You started.

“Nope, all focus on you now, we gotta get you ready” He said with determination.

“Alright, thank you” You chuckled and you both got started on the preparation.

You were pacing around, bouncing on your toes. Fingers quickly going through the flashcard in your hands, mumbling the topics under your breath.  

“You know you’re gonna get more nervous if you keep doing that” Tae stated but you heard nothing, fully immersed in your almost literal last minute review.

Jimin grabbed both your shoulders to make you stop “Hey, quit pacing around. You’re gonna do fine”

“I’m just so nervous Chim” You said, still slightly swaying to alleviate the uneasiness.

“We know you are babe, but if you keep doing that, you’re going to get more nervous” Jimin explained.

You took a deep breath to try to steady your heart and looked at them “Okay I’m going in. Wish me luck”

Tae and Jimin gave you a thumbs up while Kook suddenly patted your head. Leaning in close to your ear, you could feel his breath tickle your cheek. Your ears warmed and your breath hitched at your throat. “You can do it, angel” He said and pulled away.

You finished the presentation with ease. The weeks worth of tutoring with Kook definitely paid off. The professor mentioned how he will announce the fate of your grade in the following weeks so you were still slightly nervous but nonetheless, you feel a great weight being lifted off your shoulders. Because of that, you actually found yourself thinking more about Kook, with the newfound information actually sinking in. 

When the sun and moon meet you thought. The phrase repeating over and over in your mind. You felt the pain Kook went through because of mere misunderstanding and you don't want that. You want him to be happy, you want them both to be happy, even if the other him can be kind of rude. So you gathered and told them about your plan. 

“Okay okay let me get this straight, YOU want to try and break their curse by doing... exactly what??” Jimin asked, dumbfounded. They were shocked about your sudden want to help but it just made you more frustrated knowing that there was a way out and no one tried to help. 

“Well” You started "I don't know exactly what i'll do but it's better if I knew more about him first right?" You asked

"He's not really someone you'd like to know personally. Like what you experienced, he can be very overbearing and hard to deal with" Tae warned "I had some instances with the guy too and it was not pretty"

A hand gripped yours "But if it's something you'd like to do then who are we to stop you. I'm grateful that you're willing to do this for me... for us" Kook said, squeezing your hand. You smiled at him.

"Well if you wanna know his whereabouts, it's better to ask Namjoon and Hoseok" Tae said.

"The upperclassmen?" Jimin asked.

Tae nodded "Yeah, they're closest to JK and are usual party buddies. They know about the curse too. I've talked to them a couple times and they're actually pretty nice." He explained. You placed a hand under your chin and nodded as well

"Alright then, let me pay them a visit"

You bounced on your toes, pretty nervous about meeting them. You had no problem talking to upperclassmen but something about being JK's friends put you on edge, like you have to be of certain standard to them. Finally you saw them walking in the hallway, laughing. You went to them and introduced yourself.

"Hey! I'm sorry to be disturbing. My name's Y/N and I don't know if JK told you about me or not but if he did then-"

"Oh you're the girl who was clinging on to him the whole night" The guy, who you assumed was Hoseok based on the description Tae gave you, exclaimed. He had a wide grin on his face and his voice had a bubbly tone to it. Way different from what you expected from JK's friends. 

"Oh right yeah that's me" You said sheepishly, scratching your neck."Don't worry about it, it's not like you're the first to do that. We apologize on his behalf if he was being pissy about it" Namjoon said, sighing.

"Right, well, I have a favor to ask" You said to which earned you a raise of eyebrows."I know about their curse and I personally want to help. Would you be kind enough to tell me if you guys have plans and where it would be? I kind of wanna make amends and start over with him" You explained.

The two of them looked at each other in shock and to you with curiosity. A smirk etched on Namjoon's face.

"Sure" Namjoon said. They didn't hesitate to give you the address to the downtown club they were going to tonight.

"See you tonight, nice girl!" Hoseok exclaimed as he waved goodbye, a big smile still adorning his face.

Alright, I can do this.

Walking to the club they invited you tonight, you gulped. They sounded like nice people and was pretty sure they didn't send you to the wrong location but you were still kind of doubtful, looks can be deceiving anyway.  

The doubt washed away when you finally spot JK. Still in an all black ensemble, which you can only guess was his favorite shade, hair a wavy mess at the same time still look put together. You took a deep breath and bounded over to him. He caught your gaze to which he returned with a glare. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked, clearly annoyed as he crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry to be so sudden but I know about the curse" You said the last part in a volume you know he'd be the only one to hear 

"And I just want to apologize for my actions the last time we met" You said. 

His face contorts even more and you were sure he hated you right at the moment "Looks like you're here to observe me then. Is it fascinating to you, sweetheart? Finding someone like us who's so different from everyone else? Should I set you up with a private zoo show?" 

Your eyes went wide as saucers "No! no absolutely not! I just- I wanted to just introduce myself" You held a hand out for him to shake "My name's Y/L/N Y/N" You exclaimed, praying you guys wouldn't have misunderstandings anymore. You offered him a smile to show him you were sincere.

There was something about that smile. JK didn't like trusting people anymore but there was something about that smile that felt so warm and familiar. Of course she was familiar, she's probably with Kook. He got annoyed and looked away.

He avoided your gaze for a long time but noted how his features softened for a second before. He clicked his tongue, rubbing his nose bridge before leaving without saying another word. Your hand still raised in the air.

Anger bubbled but you pushed them down, taking a swig of alcohol. You sighed and began to question your decisions until two people stood in each of your side. You realized it was Namjoon and Hoseok as they offered you their glasses to clink with.

"Cheers for a rough night?" Namjoon asked and you snorted as you took another sip.

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore" You told them, dejection evident in your demeanor. 

"We're sorry that you're dealing with this but... I hope you don't give up on him easily" Hoseok pleaded "It's not everyday someone comes up to us and tells us they want to help the them" 

"Have you?" You ask them.

"We tried but he would never tell us how we could be of help. He also told us to stay away from Kook and his friends or else he wouldn't be friends with us anymore" Namjoon explained "We didn't want to lose the friendship we fought hard to build. We see how lonely he is sometimes and we didn't really want to contribute to that. Plus he's nice if he wants to" He chuckled.

Your heart twisted, guilty for even thinking of giving up. The both of them have been hurting in their own way and it's unfair to give special treatment to just one.

"Do you know where he goes when you guys don't have any party plans?" You ask with newfound determination. They felt grateful as they beamed at you."He goes to a book cafe near here. Since he doesn't go to school in the day, he misses out on the lessons. Though he still gets the information absorbed by Kook, it just isn't as sharp. He makes up for it by reading a lot" Namjoon explained and your heart swelled. 

You took a swig of your bottle and placed it down loudly on the table "Alright then" You exclaimed as you wiped a bit if liquid staining around your mouth.

"Atta girl, I guess we'll see you around then" Hoseok chuckled.

The next night you trekked to the said book cafe. It was very quaint inside, the smell of coffee that hit your nose instantly calming you. The ambience was very tranquil as soft music played in the background. You noticed how there weren't many people in the cafe so it was easy to spot him this time. He was sitting at the very far corner, a book in hand. You were amused at how he very much looks like Kook when we waits for you but you but had to remind yourself that this is a very different person. His black clothes contrasting the white that Kook loves to wear. As you came closer, the difference became more evident as his wavy hair came into view. When he looked up from his book, he grimaced.

"Okay are you fucking stalking me?" He exasperated as he nearly slammed his book down and crossed his arms, a repeat of what happened in the party. 

You stare at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before you broke the silence 

"I really didn't expect to find you in a place like this" What?

"Oh cause you think I party every night, do drugs and bring girls home right?" His glare challenging and menacing, a look that clearly says 'get away from me'. your eyes widened as it dawned unto you what you said because truth to be told, you were kind of thinking that about him. It made you sick.

"I'm really sorry! I just want to apologize for my behavior and for um creeping you out. If you want me to stop then I will but can I at least share a bit of your time now?" You asked, pleading with your eyes. You want to be as sincere as you can to him and you really hope he'd let you in.

JK was confused. It should've been easy to to just say no. One word and she'd be on her merry way.... then why on earth was he not able to say it? fuck

"Fine, you can stay" was what he said instead. You perked up and took a seat across from him. He rolled his eyes.

"Let me introduce myself properly for the second time then. I'm y/l/n y/n and I'm Ko-"

"I know who you are. I don't know what your relationship is exactly with Kook but I know you're on his mind a lot. Are you his girlfriend or something? How did you meet?" He expected a blush or some sort of shy reaction. He knows the effect Kook had on people, he hates him but he's not ignorant. 

So he was surprised when he was met with you shaking your head instead "No and I'm not really here to talk about Kook. I'm here because... I want to be friends with you, nothing in return for me. I just want to get to know you" 

You looked serious enough that he knew you weren't kidding but he was flabbergasted. No one really wanted to know him like that. All the people he's met either wanted a trophy friend or a trophy fuck. Having a pretty well off background didn't really help. For once, he commended Kook on having such an interesting plaything.

"What's the catch?" He asked, arms still crossed.

"Catch? Nothing. I just want to get to know you so that i'll be able to help. I know how the curse can be broken and although I don't exactly know what to do, maybe I can start by being friends with you" You explained

Ah, he gets it "I see, you're doing this for your beloved Kook then" He said, suddenly taking an interest in the table. 

"I'm doing this for the both of you" You said.

Whatever, it's been a while since something spiced up his life anyway. Maybe you'll last long enough. 

"Okay" He simply said.

You were surprised "Okay? I mean alright! Okay, that's great" You chuckled in relief "I'll see you tomorrow night then?" You asked, hopeful.

"I have plans" He said and you deflated a bit. He saw and sighed. "I'm free saturday afternoon" He said after a short while.

You perked up "Oh! I didn't know you front in the day?" You tilted your head.

"Am I a vampire or something? Of course I do. I'm out during weekends" He scoffed. 

———

"I really feel like I'm getting somewhere guys!" You tell them over lunch

"That's great y/n. I hope you sort this out quickly though. Kookie here has been moping around ever since your attention has been divided" Tae playfully teased.

Kook kicked him from under the table to which Tae grunted "I do not!" He exclaimed with red cheeks. You only chuckled.

"So what are your plans then?" Jimin asked.

"Well, I did alot of thinking but I hope this really helps him" You excitedly said.

True to agreement, you and JK met up during the weekend at the same cafe, with books at hand.

"Oh sweetheart I really thought you were different but you're as boring as the others" He said, an elbow propped to the table as he lazily sipped on his iced coffee.

You tilted your head at him, still sorting the books "What do you mean?"

"I half expected you to bring me somewhere exciting but as I expected, I am disappointed" He sighed.

"Oh shut up" You said as you flicked his forehead. He jumped slightly in surprise, glaring at you.

"What's all this, a tutoring session?" He snorted.You beamed and clasped your hands together 

"Exactly" You said with a mischievous smile "I heard that you don't really grasp school concepts as vivid as Kook's so I'm here to help you" You smiled at him. 

Although he looks as stoic as ever, you knew from the slight twinge of red on his ears that you've elicited some sort of reaction from him.

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms "How do I know you're not bullshitting me? For all I know you have straight D's in your card" He said. 

You fake gasped and placed a hand to your chest "Excuse me, if you notice yourself getting better at psychology it's because of me, mister" You pointed out. 

He scoffed while absentmindedly flipping through the books you laid out in front of him. 

"Then prove it to me" He looked at you with challenge in his eyes and oh boy you were definitely gonna give it to him.

A few subjects later and JK called for a break. A sarcastic remark is dancing at the tip of your tongue but opted to let it show through your eyes instead. He rolled his as he took a sip from his iced coffee. 

"I still doubt half the things you taught me were correct" He said, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"Oh they were definitely correct" You slumped on your chair, pretty tired yourself as you sipped on your own drink.

Silence hung over the two of you and unlike earlier, it was way more comfortable and tolerable now. You were lightly tapping your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the soft music playing in the background while he was flipping through the pages of the books, not really reading the content inside. This is it, this was your chance to bond, to talk about something other than  academics. You were thinking of a question to ask... anything. Racking your brain of something to say you said "How long does it take to style your hair everyday?" You were slightly embarrassed by such a trivial question but it was better than nothing. 

He chuckled slightly, a sound you notice is darker than Kook's light airy laugh "Darling, I'm all natural" He said, a smirk etched in his face "This curse make it look like we're sharing a body but it's all different too. When I front, my hair naturally becomes wavy. When he fronts, it goes straight again. Same goes with wounds too, unless they're pretty deep. When I get a small graze, he usually doesn't get it" He explained.

"I see" You said. You get what he's talking about, that's the reason why he even looked off the minute you saw him. Not only was he not Kook, he physically isn't Kook as well. Kook has softer and rounder features while JK has the slightest edges to his face, cheeks and jawline more prominent. 

"You staring at me, sweetheart?" His smirk never fading "But I get it, must be tiring to look at someone so ugly all the time" 

You snorted "You do know you guys share most facial features right" You said.

"Oh? Then how about I let your discover what's different about our bodie-"

"Let's get back to learning shall we!" You squeaked as your cheeks reddened. He only chuckled.

You were glad you had some sort of progress with him but it slightly frustrates you that you only gathered minimal information throughout the weeks, though you've gotten more comfortable with each other now, throwing banter here and there. But it’s okay, you’ve just got to be more patient.

“Clearly my answer is correct” He argued.

You rolled your eyes “No you are most definitely wrong” crossing your arms in annoyance.

“Okay i’ll gather people who will support my claim then” He huffed.

“Do you realize you talk too much?” You squinted at him, more annoyed now.

“And do you realize you’re being a big prissy?” He countered.

“Am not!” You exclaimed. If you can drill holes with your stare then you would have by now

“Okay then, if you’re right you can ask me to buy anything for you” He offered

“And if you’re right?” You asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

He tapped a finger under his chin as if to think “How about I get one date with you” He said with confidence and your cheeks flared up.

“Absolutely not!” You exasperated, hurriedly cleaning up the materials laid out on the desk. 

“Why? scared i’ll be right?” He chortled while sticking out his tongue. You flicked him on the way out.

He was way more stubborn than Kook that’s for sure, always questioning and challenging you. Despite all that, he is very bright. He picks up topics as easily as he could challenge you, which doesn’t come as a surprise as you can tell he’s an avid reader. When you both started warming up to each other was when you notice how much of a nice person he is behind the hard exterior.

He placed a strawberry drink in front of you. You felt the strongest deja vu and realized Kook did the same thing for you. 

You looked at the drink fondly and then up at him. “What? Kook did the same for you too huh?” He huffed and sat down, looking the slightest bit dejected. He absolutely saw through you.

You then realized how much you were thinking about Kook and it felt unfair. Maybe it’s because you feel a slight swarm in your stomach ready to flutter whenever JK calls you that nickname that used to disgust you but now have grown accustomed to it, or the way his eyes bore into yours, a slight smirk on his lips whenever you explain a topic thoroughly to which he calls you a nerd afterwards. Maybe it’s because he’s been endearing lately and you don’t want to have to choose, opting to direct all your feelings to Kook instead. But that seemed wrong. 

Shaking your head out of the trance, you offered a small smile to him “No he didn’t, thank you” You lied.

He didn’t say anything afterwards and that prompted you to slip a small tease “I didn’t know you can be so nice” You said, sipping on your drink, waiting for a response.

“Oh darling I can be bad, if you’d let me show you” He said in a sultry voice, wiggling his eyebrows. You only rolled your eyes and smacked him slightly on his arm.

———

You were checking your emails until you stumbled upon an email from your art professor. Your heart started beating loudly. You completely forgot about the announcement. Your cursor hovered over the email, silently praying for a passing grade.

Please please please

The word passed came out in bold and you squealed. All the hard work with Kook did not go to waste and you were extremely elated. You checked your clock which read 8:43. Kook must be gone by now and you’d have to wait until next week to tell him, but you were impatient. Getting dressed, you went out in search for JK. 

Opening the doors to the book cafe you’ve gotten used to, you spotted JK in his usual corner, your usual corner now as well. 

“Well you’re early. I thought we wouldn’t have another session till tomorrow” He said, confused.

“I passed art appreciation oh my god!” You squeaked excitedly, bouncing on your toes. 

“Isn’t that shit easy?” He asked, tilting his head. 

Your cheeks puffed as you pouted “Hey! I was having a hard time okay” You crossed your arms “Anyway, can I borrow Kook tomorrow? I promise we’ll get right back next week. I just need to thank him for helping me out on this one” You explained.

JK’s face darkened “Why? You see him nearly everyday and you’re gonna start seeing him on weekends too?” 

You were surprised at the sudden bite that laced his words “It’s only for a day plus I don’t get to see him the way I do with you in uni” You explained.

“Fine whatever” was what he said before going back to the book that he was reading. He doesn’t care- he shouldn’t care.

Shrugging your shoulders, you walked out of the cafe, excitement filling you up again. What you didn’t notice was JK staring at you, a big frown on his face, as you left. 

The next day, you invited Kook over at your apartment, delicious food ready on the table. You only ever had Jimin at your place before and although you should feel nervous, you were quite calm. 

“What’s the celebration for?” Kook asked, eyeing the food

“Well” You started “I passed art appreciation!” You announced, a big smile on your face.

His eyes widened as his face broke into a grin as well. He suddenly tackled you in a big hug and spun you around, the both of you laughing. “I knew you can do it, angel! I’m really proud of you” He said as he set you down. 

Red dusted both of your cheeks at the contact and you dragged him over to the living room “I know it’s not much but I wanna thank you for the help by treating you to good food and a good movie marathon” You sheepishly said, not making eye contact.

He placed a hand to your shoulder “It’s amazing, Y/N. I love it” He truly was grateful.

A full tummy and a few movies later you were both knocked out, not really paying attention to the movie anymore, though it was still playing. It was getting dark meaning Kook would probably have to leave as JK would front sooner or later, probably still annoyed he didn’t get to front in the day when it was the weekend. You didn’t want him to go though.

“I have a question” You said lazily. He hummed in acknowledgement as you continued “Do you guys share memories?” You asked.

 “Sometimes we do, only in fragments though. We mostly share emotions, usually only when they’re strong. Other than that, I completely do not know what is happening in that guy’s life” He explained.

You nodded as you understood and yawned. You scooted closer to him, finding solace in his warmth and he welcomed you, placing his arms around your shoulder to pull you closer. You placed your head on his chest and let the steady thump of his heartbeat calm you. 

Kook felt like he was gonna combust, with you all curled up against him, your warmth filling his senses, he didn’t know how to think. He watched as your body slightly rose and fell from breathing and mimicked the tempo. He subconsciously ran his hand through your hair to which earned him a small moan, almost inaudible but it still reached his ears. He stopped in his tracks.

“Y/N” He said in a small voice. You looked up and was met with an unreadable expression.

Placing a gentle hand at the back of your neck, he pressed his forehead against yours. You both were staring at each other, not moving as to not break the trance. Slowly, he placed his lips on yours in a feather-like kiss. Seeing how you didn’t feel repulsed by the action prompted him to land his lips on yours again. Your hands reached for his hair to deepen the kiss as his other hand roamed your back, tingles running down your spine with each touch. But before anything can get truly heated, he pulled away.

“I better get going, JK is going to kill me for being out too much” Kook said in almost a whisper of a voice. He chuckled when he saw you pouting and placed a hand on your cheek. “I’ll see you soon, angel” He said as he leaned forward to press his lips against the other cheek. 

You couldn’t really sleep that night. The kiss with Kook still replaying on your mind. Your thoughts drifted to JK, when the erratic beating of your heart calmed down, and you somehow got anxious about the thought of meeting him. Would he get mad you spent the weekend with Kook instead of him? He probably is.

You didn’t have to think too hard because you were tapping your fingers on the table of your usual spot, JK nowhere in sight. It was already dark and you’d hoped for too long he was only running late but no- he totally stood you up. Getting irked, you gathered your things and went out the door. You were standing outside the cafe when you thought about what you should do. Should you just go home or find him? One thing you absolutely hated was getting stood up and your anger would probably dissipate by the time next weekend rolls around so why not just release out now? 

Fishing for the phone in your pocket, you silently thank yourself for getting Namjoon’s number. You texted if he knew where JK was and rang him once to alert him. You were getting more impatient by the minute. Fortunately Namjoon texted back fairly quickly, giving you the address of the club they were in. 

“That little shit” You said to yourself as you stormed to where they would be in a fit of rage.

Coming to a club wearing casual clothes and a tote bag full of books didn’t really help blend you in. You were a goldfish in a school of betta fishes. The initial adrenaline was starting to come down as you were frantically looking for familiar faces. This club was more packed than the ones you go to and it was getting harder to breathe by the minute, the stench of alcohol and drugs making your head hurt. You were starting to notice the stares you got from people as you occasionally bump into one and you were getting more insecure. The blaring music and flashing lights made your head pound even more. You were trying to find the phone you slipped in your bag when you suddenly felt it... a hand on your ass.

Flicking your head to where the hand was coming from, you were met with a very intoxicated man, eyes roaming your body. You pushed his hand away, quaking in fear but he only grabbed your wrist.

“Let me go” You pleaded as you struggled out of his grasp. 

The hand was quickly ripped off when an arm snaked around your waist to push you behind their back.Your whole body trembled but you got the courage to look up to find out who your savior was.

JK’s eyes were filled with absolute fury as he was sizing up the guy “She said let go” He said through gritted teeth.

The man scoffs. “Your bitch has some nerve going here” He mocked.

Something snaps in JK as he lands the first punch square to his nose. The guy stumbles backward, holding his face. He spits blood as he threw a punch to JK as well, the rings he was wearing scratching his face. Soon enough it became a full on brawl, punches and kicks thrown everywhere as they moved around, occasionally breaking something along the way. The bouncers finally came and pulled them off each other, hauling them by the collar of their shirts outside. Someone tapped your shoulder and you flinched.

“Sorry” A voice you recognize as Hoseok rang through your eyes as relief washed over your body. You looked at both Hoseok and Namjoon with concern as JK was still being escorted out.

“Take care of him will you?” Namjoon asked as you nodded, still not finding the strength to speak after what happened.

You followed JK out the door and found him wiping the blood off of his cheek, anger still littered his eyes. He was avoiding your gaze but looked when you softly held his hand. 

“You... come on” You dragged him until you reached your apartment, not uttering a word the whole way.

You were met with the dark empty space, JK still silent as he took in his surroundings, occasionally wiping the blood off his face. You took him to the bathroom and made him sit on the toilet while you find a first aid kit.

“I’ll be right back” You told him. He only looked at you with a blank face but his eyes trailed over to you as you went away. 

When you got back, a wet towel in hand, you loomed over him to get a better look. He had a busted lip and gashes from where the rings hit his cheek, thankful that it wasn’t deep enough that it would need stitches. You gently placed a hand under his chin to tilt his face slightly as you started dabbing the wet cloth over his wounds. His eyes bore into yours as he sported a pained look

“Suck it up you big baby, that’s what you get for picking a fight” You scolded, as you continued to wipe the blood off his face and treating the wounds with antiseptic.

“A thank you would be nice you know” He croaked, now averting his eyes from your gaze.

You stopped whatever you were doing and looked at him. “Thank you, but I’m still mad at you for standing me up today” You said as you starting dabbing on his face again, this time on the corner of his mouth. “God Kook’s going to kill you for messing up your faces”

He grabbed your wrist and placed it down, making you drop the towel in your hand. “Can you for one second shut up about Kook”

He stood up and snaked an arm around your waist as the other laid at the back of your neck. He pinned you against the tiled wall as he slammed his lips against yours. Your cheeks flared up as you subconsciously raised a hand to his head and fisted his hair, to which elicited a groan from him. The hand on your waist was strong as he gripped you hard, a bruise sure to mark wherever his hand touched, but you didn’t mind. He moved back as he sat on the toilet, you being brought along with him all while not breaking the heated kiss. His hands roamed up and down your body as you were basically straddling him, trailing his kisses down south to your neck. You moaned and shifted your weight to a better position but soon realized the effect it had on him, a growing tent from right under your core. He kissed you back on the lips before pulling back, the both of you breathing heavily. 

He was still dangerously close to your face, his breath tickling your cheeks. “Do you know how annoying it is to have Kook’s pesky feelings practically take over mine too? You both are annoying little shits” 

Your eyes widened as you hurriedly got off of him. He dusted himself off before making his way out of the bathroom. Noticing your balcony, he wasted no time going there, needing a breather.

You pressed your back against the wall as you put a hand over your chest, feeling the heavy thumping of your heart. You were still breathing heavily as you tried to process what just happened. You felt slightly guilty for being unfair to Kook but you both haven’t talked about the kiss after it happened so it wasn’t like you were his girlfriend. Meanwhile, JK’s touches were like fire. You note the growing wetness on your core thinking about how he slid his hands up and down your thigh, coming dangerously close every time he slid it up. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself from such thoughts.

You figured he needed to cool and down and you gave him just that. Taking a break yourself, you finally calmed down. You took a water bottle from the fridge and headed to the balcony. You saw him looking at the view, moon illuminating his features as both his elbows were propped up on the railing, despite his slightly messed up face, he was gorgeous. 

Oddly calm and unembarrassed despite what transpired moments ago, you tapped the water bottle on his arm. “Here” You said as he took the bottle and had a sip. You both were just looking at the view, not speaking a word until you decided to break the silence “Can I ask?” You said.

He looked at you from the side, eyebrow arching but nodded which prompted you to continue “Why do you hate Kook so much?” You asked.

He turned over to you and gave a deep sigh. He stared at you in silence for a few seconds before speaking. “I had to hide because of him. I was always pretty mischievous and I guess my parents wanted a prim and proper child- an obedient one. Kook was everything I’m not” He looked at his shoes, pain evident in his eyes “They thought I was a menace to Kook’s perfect life and treated me as if I wasn’t their child. I was forced to stay in the dark, literally, ever since I was a kid. It was so fucking lonely, Y/N. Everyone was either tired or asleep at night, I had no one to play with or talk to. When I got a bit older, I found out about clubs that were open all through the night and basically got addicted to partying since then” He said, raw emotion dripping in his voice. 

“Not to be rude but, were you not physically able to front at daytime?” You cautiously asked.

“I wanted to impress my parents. I wanted to prove to them that I can be as obedient as anyone else, so when they told me to only come out at night, I followed. After a while it basically became a routine, so much that my body just naturally comes out at night and was tired in the early morning. Because of that, I never really got to bond with my parents, and they never really got to know me” He sighed before he furrowed his eyebrows in anger, hands clasped in fists. “I fucking hate Kook”

You reached out for his first and uncurled it, lacing your fingers around it instead. “You’re strong for being able to withstand all that” You said as you cupped his cheek, his expression softening at your touch. “I’m here if you need me” You told him. He offered you the smallest of smiles as you pulled away. 

“I gotta go” He said as the both of you made your way to the door. He was about to go before he stopped in his tracks. He swiveled around to face you before placing a hand behind your head and pulling you in for another kiss, his teeth catching your bottom lip in a small bite “I’m sorry I stood you up, sweetheart” He said, the sickeningly sweet tone back again as he closed the door. Your heart was pounding again as thoughts danced around in your head.

Ugh I need sleep

But you couldn’t sleep. You thought about JK and what he had to go through and figured that it’s best to let Kook know about this, maybe it’s a step closer to breaking the curse. Filled with determination, you finally let sleep take over you.

———

You examined the bruises he left on on your hip, frowning as you traced the deep purple marks. You got dressed and set out to look for Kook.

He met you in the learning commons, fond memories lacing this place. There weren’t many people here yet, which you thought was perfect. Kook finally arrived at he set his things down and sat beside you.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asked, head tilted to the side.

“Well” You started, fidgeting your thumbs. Taking a deep breath, you looked at him “So I had a talk with JK lately”

Kook’s eyebrows furrowed “And?” He edged you on.

You explained what went on in his life, particularly his childhood. You told him how he felt lonely and sad and that he was mistreated by their parents. Kook seemed to understand as he was nodding but he wasn’t looking at you with gleeful eyes anymore. Instead, he had a blank expression on his face, his eyes completely lifeless as he listened to you speak. For a moment you thought it was JK who you were talking to until you took in his appearance again. No this is definitely Kook.

“So I just think... that you should go easy on him. Yes you’ve been hurt but so is he. It would be better if you’d understood each other’s pains” You explained.

Then, something else burned in his eyes, it was something you were completely not used to, something menacing. He slumped back on his chair, arms crossed and you gulped.

“And what about my pain? Do you know anything of it?” He said, sporting the blank look that hid the pain his voice was threatening to spill. “I was dubbed a monster at night and did I want that? I wasn’t able to make friends properly because of that you know” He then leaned forward, elbows propped up on his thighs. “I tried to help him, I left notes, messages, anything. I wanted to let him in the daylight for once, but he didn’t listen and even flat out refused saying that he liked his nightlife. I believed him.” He sat up straight now, his eyes burning with anger “And what did he do? Toy with my life. He sabotaged all of my relationships and that fucker had the nerve to be happy with my frustrations. My friends hated me and as much as I wanted to apologize, what can I say? That it wasn’t me who told them all those things? They’d think i’m either an amnesiac or a psycho. He even tried to ruin my relationship with Taehyung, thankfully he figured out something was wrong and asked me personally, so I told him the truth. He’s been the only friend I had ever since... all because of who? Because of your precious JK. Just wait, when he’s completely obliterated whatever we have, he’ll stop toying around with you too.” He spat out, disgust evident in his face.

He quickly gathered his things and left you dumbfounded. You didn’t notice the tears pooled around your eyes and how much you were holding your breath. Your chest started to hurt at the revelation as you were feeling torn, completely emotionally drained. You slumped back to your seat as you thought about what to do. Now that you heard both their sides, it was best that they knew about it all. So once again, you waited until sundown to talk to JK.

You dragged yourself to the cafe, completely worn out at this point. You spotted JK at the usual spot and ushered for him to talk to you outside. 

“Miss me already, sweetheart?” He smirked and you only sighed.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. You were completely done tiptoeing around.

“Do what?” He asked, mirroring your growing frustration. He was always ill tempered.

“Sabotage Kook’s relationships? He wanted to help but you kept refusing him?” You said, your voice slightly raising.

“Help? From him?” He scoffed “Why would I need help from the one who’s ruined it all?”

“How about you just try to work with your problems rather than avoid it completely? Ruining people’s relationships is a completely immature way of handling this situation” You scolded. You were both sizing each other up, the other not backing down. 

“Oh I see, you just love to side with Kook huh? It’s okay, everyone does. I will always just be in the backseat worshipping the feet of the holy other me” He said in a mocking tone, pacing side to side.

You were getting angrier by the minute, cartoon smoke probably coming out of your ears by now “I’m not siding with anyone! God!” You shouted, raising your hand in the air in frustration “You know what, I’m done. I’m done being the both of you guys’s emotional punching bag. I only tried to help but you both think I’m siding with the other” You placed a hand on your forehead, mock laughing “Ha, and to think we actually had something going on. You were probably going to discard me after you’re done playing with another one of Kook’s relationships right?” You asked him, menace in your eyes. “Am I wrong?” 

He only stared at you, expression growing softer but you were only hurt by his response, or lack thereof.

“Thought so” You said. “You probably haven’t gotten rid of me yet because apparently Kook’s feelings latched unto you. That was the only reason you liked me anyways” 

“No that’s not it” He reached out for you but you only backed away “It’s true that his feelings somewhat caught unto mine but it was strengthened by me. My feelings for you are purely mine and they are genuine” He pleaded.

You came up close to his face, eyes squinting “You know what?” You started “I don’t care. I’m tired. Tell Kook I don’t want to see the both of you until you settled matters in your own hands” You said walked away, leaving him dumbfounded and frustrated. 

Your tears completely spilled all over once you hit your mattress. You were oh so tired. Your hand found your phone, dialing Jimin’s number. After a few rings he picked up.

“Y/N? Where are you? Is something wrong” He asked from the other line.

You were ugly sobbing as you spoke to the phone “I-I’m home but J-Jimin can you come o-over? I need someone” 

“I’ll be right there, Y/N”  

You spent the night bawling to Jimin about how emotionally tired you are whilst eating takeout and playing movies in the background, a common instance for the both of you when one is feeling a bit let down. People have always asked when you were going to date but you never thought of each other that way. He’s always been like a brother to you and you were thankful for the friendship.

He was stroking your hair while you continued to rack sobs, calming down with every second. “You’ve always been such a compassionate soul but you got to take care of yourself too” Jimin said as he lifted your chin up “You’re not obligated to fix anyone. If you’ve done all that you think you can then that’s as far as you can go, at least you’ve done your part" He wiped the remaining tears away from your face. “It doesn’t make you a bad person if you’re unable help everyone because you’re emotionally unavailable, always remember that”

You sniffed and hugged him tightly “Oh what am I going to do without you?” 

“Probably wallow in more boy drama” He jokingly said. “Chin up, they’ll come around when they’re ready”

“Yeah” You said with a small smile, your heart less turbulent now. 

As per your wish, the both of them ignored you throughout uni and in the weekends. You had to admit that it was a bit boring not having them in your life, completely not used to their lack of presence but Jimin and Tae made up for it, Namjoon and Hoseok also coming to hang out with you guys more. 

“You know Kook is very beat about all this” Tae mentioned one time at the lunch table.

“Yeah JK too, he’s absolutely devastated” Hoseok added. “You really had them both wrapped around your finger” He joked as he took a bite out of his sandwich. 

“Guys I really don’t wanna hear about the both of them right now” You said, rubbing your temple. They both squeaked apologies as you all continued eating. 

Slowly, your energy was coming back. You refreshed yourself with friendship and knowledge, often coming to the library to read for leisure with Namjoon when you found out about his extensive knowledge in books. You also hung out with Hoseok in the uni’s dance room, always dragging you along to one of his dance practices for what he claimed as needing moral support. He also introduced you to his friend Yoongi who sometimes makes the music he dances to. But it was Jimin and Taehyung who was with you the most, gluing themselves to your hip. You didn’t really mind, they were like peas in a pod and being with them is entertaining. They often came by your apartment, bringing various food and games to play with. 

“You know you guys don’t have to come here every time, it’s not like I went through a massive breakup” You roll your eyes at them as they set down large tubs of ice cream on your kitchen counter

“You might as well have, with the way you cried over them” Jimin snickered.

“Hey!” You smacked his arm, puffing your cheeks.

“We get to help a friend out as well as have an excuse to eat all this junk. I’d say it’s a win win” Tae said as he slung an arm around your shoulders, laughing. You laughed with them, thankful.

They left earlier than they usually do and you were sat alone eating the tub of ice cream in your living room, watching whatever. You suddenly heard a knock on your door as you set the food down to check whoever it was. 

You were shocked as you opened the door, your mouth agape as you took in his appearance. “Kook? err JK?” You said hesitantly, completely not distinguishing who it was. He held out the flowers he brought to you as you took it in your hands. 

He smiled sheepishly, red dusting his cheeks “I’m both of them now” He said and your eyes widened. That is why you couldn’t tell them apart. His hair wasn’t pin straight like Kook’s nor as wavy as JK’s. His expression also isn’t as soft nor as cold. 

 “And I want to apologize for what I did, I’m truly sorry Y/N. We finally had something in common that we were willing to compromise for and that’s you” He stepped forward and tentatively reached out to cup my cheek. When he realized that his action didn’t make you uncomfortable, he continued “We couldn’t risk losing you and that anchored us more to each other until we just fully fused. I have both their memories but I want us to start over so we can make fresh memories together, me being one entity this time” He chuckled softly. “Thank you for breaking the curse” 

Your heart jumped out of your chest as you pulled him in your apartment. You truly missed him. You set the flowers down as you jumped up to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. “I forgive you and I’m sorry too” You nuzzled your head closer to the crook of his neck.

He cradled your face when you both pulled away, but still staying as close. “Now we can truly start over” He smiled.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt as you pressed your lips against him in an instant heated makeout. His hand found your hips as he gripped you closer to him “Well this is not what I had in mind but I’m definitely not complaining” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes as you found his lips again, taking his jacket off in the process. You dragged him to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes and taking your shirt off. His touches were like fire as his hands roamed your back, coming dangerously close to the clasp of your bra. He suddenly gripped the back of your thighs as he hoisted you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist you felt something hard pressed against your core. You grinded against him as he grunted against your mouth, biting your lower lip. 

“You naughty girl” His voice was dark and sultry and it shot through your sex, wetness growing by the minute. He threw you on your bed as he climbed on top of you, nearly straddling your waist. He took his shirt off and you took in his appearance. He was very toned, abs lining up his stomach as you gently traced over it. “Like what you see?” He teased.

He started peppering kisses all over your neck as he gripped your thigh, occasionally sliding his hand up your shorts which gave you shivers as you moaned. He brought his kisses lower, stopping at the crevice between your breast as brought his hand under you to unclasp your bra, biting it with his teeth to take it off you. He looked at you hungrily, you looked like sex on a platter.

You blushed under his intense gaze and looked away. He noticed your shyness and his expression softened as he kissed your forehead “You’re beautiful, princess” He said. “We can stop whenever you want, just say the word” 

You shook your head “No, it’s okay. Also i’m on birth control” You said as he peppered kisses all over your face.

“Then... would you let me make you feel good, princess?” He asked and you shyly nodded. 

His expression then changed into that of a big bad wolf “Don’t worry, princess you’re in good hands” You were surprised at how a simple nickname can change from something sweet to dirty in a second but you weren’t complaining.

He took your right breast in his mouth, sucking on your nipple. You arched back in pleasure as he did the same with your left. He then kissed your abdomen until he reached the waistband of your shorts. Pulling both your shorts and underwear off, you were left naked underneath him.

He licked his lips as he started sucking on your core “Hahh- keep doing that, ugh” You moaned as he kept lapping at your clit. The sounds you were making didn’t help the growing tent in his pants as he kept sucking and roaming your thighs with his hands. 

“I-I I’m gonna” You said, rolling your head back as you fisted his hair. Just when you were going to climax, he pulled his mouth away from you in a smirk “Don’t think i’m going to let you off that easy, princess” He said as he took his pants and underwear off.

He was big, really big. Veiny and thick and you just couldn’t wait. You sat up and pushed him back, making him sit. You got on all fours, taking him in your hands as he moaned. He was already really hard and you gave him a few good pumps before putting his aching cock in your mouth. His head rolled back as he breathed heavily “Fuck, Y/N” 

Satisfied by his sounds, you bobbed your head up and down faster, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. Before he could cum, you removed yourself from him and wiped your mouth. You straddled him and aligned his cock to your core as you slid down. “Hahhh, oh god” You said in pleasure.

He gripped your ass and guided your bounce on his dick. “Fuck you feel so good baby, wrapped around me like that” Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as he was deep into you, the sound of skin slapping and moaning filling the room. 

He the lifted you up and laid you down, still inside you, as he placed your legs over his shoulders. With a smirk he then pounded into you, taking in the bouncing of your breasts. 

“Oh god oh god don’t stop oh fuck. Just cum inside me” You moaned as your core tightened, reaching your climax. A few more thrusts and his movements started staggering, soon he reached his high as well, completely stopping as he spilled inside you. Pulling out, he grabbed the tissue you kept on your desk as he cleaned the juices that were leaking out of you. 

He then came up and placed a tender kiss to your lips as he stroked your hair “You did great, princess. You were so good” He said sweetly.

He spent the night at your place, completely tired. When morning came you were the first to wake. You trace his features and took in the difference. His features weren’t as soft but weren’t as sharp as well, it was a good balance. You also note how he was both sweet and cocky last night, his performance smack right in the middle. Gliding your hands over his jaw, his nose and lastly his lips, he suddenly opened his eyes. 

“Are you observing me?” He asked sleepily. You giggled at his cute demeanor as placed your head on his bare chest, the both of you not having strength to put clothes back on last night. 

You tilted your head back up to look at him “I just realized” You started.

He cocked his head to the side as he brushed a hair out of your face “Realize what?”

“What should I call you now?” You asked.

“Jungkook” He said as he placed a tender kiss on your lips.

[cadykeus-clay]

10, 29 + 30 💕

thank you so much for sending one in!!! 29. What’s the most devastating PC death/defeat? oh boy .......... i’m gonna have to go with scanlan’s second death to raishan, both because of the effects that it had literally lasting to the end of the campaign, but also just for the emotional TOLL of everything that happened in the direct aftermath.  “Fix Him”, Percy getting to come back but Pike failing Scanlan’s check, Keyleth going just BONKERS trying to find Kima and Allura in the ocean because she refused to lose another, “I think I miss a whole lot of people”

it wasn’t the death that made me cry the most, but I think it’s the one that brought the least sense of ... a satisfying ending, i guess. 

30. What’s your favorite CR romantic/sexual relationship?

I’m horrible at picking favorites, so you’re not getting just one sorry .... CR2 - fjorclay i think edges out on top bc i cannot pick one favorite jester ship without feeling guilt over not picking another, because simply everyone in is love with her CR1 - if i’m not allowed to just say polymachina, then percahlia. i genuinely love pretty much any ship involving any of the half elves, but percahlia holds a special place in my heart bc they got their happy ending dammit and you just LOVE to see it

NPCS - KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA KIMALLURA 10. Have you ever spotted a fellow critter in the wild?  Saved this one for last because oh boy is it a doozy. So, imagine yourself in a college dorm room, and it’s like 11:48pm, all your roommates are either in their beds or officially out for the night, and you’re just chilling doing some homework with youtube in the background (I’ll be real, 95% chance it was critical role, they’re very good for me to have as “noise I know I’ll enjoy but isn’t super distracting” when doing schoolwork).  And then someone starts banging supremely hard on your suite door, and that really weirds you out, bc the RA doesn’t do random checks, no one’s expecting any visitors, and whoever’s at the door isn’t also yelling “HEY IM LOCKED OUT LEMME IN PLEASE”.  You ignore it for a bit, but it doesn’t go away, and they’re knocking like, really loud, so you go to answer the door, and you say “who is it” and you get back “CAMPUS POLICE OPEN UP!”  So you ask what’s wrong and they tell you, “we got an alert that one of the rooms almost set off a smoke detector, so we have to check and see what the problem is”. (first of all ???? hello????? why do they monitor that, and also why is it campus police’s job, whatever). And you ask what room, and they give you the room number, and its your friend who was deffo hotboxing their space like 30 minutes ago and might still be smoking right now, so you tell the police “I think they’re asleep, I’ll go wake them up for you” and they say “sure” and wait outside the door for you to go wake your friend up.

So you run to their door and knock and say “Hey Are You Awake And Dressed Campus Police Need To Check A Smoke Alarm In There hideyourweedherei’llhelpyouholdstuff” and you toss the bag of weed through another friend’s open door and the suitemate follows you out like a minute later in a bathrobe, pretending to be groggy but really just blazed out of their mind, and says “Oh sorry I fell asleep with a candle on, must’ve been the smoke, there’s nothing wrong though”

And the police say “we still have to check, it’s policy” and one of them goes back to the room and the other is just standing in the living room with you.  And then. 

He points at the giant critical role poster on your living room wall and the matching critical role poster visible through your friends open doorway and says “you know, it really warms my heart seeing all the critical role stuff you guys have up, i’m a huge fan myself.”

And so you go “.............................. COOL” And the cop says “Who’s your favorite character?”

And you, still filled with panic that your friends about to get caught with weed, and tiredness from being up fairly late still doing homework, go, hey, you know, maybe if I soften this guy up he won’t murder my friend if they find weed, and you tell him “Oh, you know, it’s super hard to pick, but I’m partial to vox machina, cause I just finished campaign one last night” (This is a true statement).

And the cop goes “Oh gosh, yeah, I feel you, I watched that live, and I thought I was gonna make it through without crying, but Matt’s message at the very end really got me.”

And you go, “yeah, haha, it was really sad” And the cop goes “Yeah, I don’t know, something about hearing him talk about how much he loves the community just had me bawling.” And the other cop comes back out of the room and says they’re fine to go, and they leave, and the first cop waves a really friendly goodbye to you, and you feel like your eyes are going to fall out a little bit but at least this interaction is over.

And you turn around. And you realize, this entire time, you have been standing just below the image of sexy shirtless caleb from the critical role pinup calendar with a giant post it next to it that says THIS MAN INVENTED DUNEMANCY AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. And you go back to your room and you keep doing your math homework because that’s literally the only thing your brain can handle anymore. And that, friends, is the story of the Crit Role Candle Cop. 

[semiconducting]

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical. 

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class. 

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other. 

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh). 

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else. 

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove. 

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around. 

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was. 

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

[un-beel-ievable]

Congrats on getting to 100! May I please have a normal match up? I’m a INFP, Gryffindor art student. I’m also a tattoo apprentice and freelance illustrator! My hobbies include embroidery anime and games. I’m pretty shy at first but won’t shut up once I’m comfortable with someone lol. Im very very passionate and dedicated to what I love, to the point where I often forget to eat or sleep to finish my projects, but I can otherwise be quite lazy (1/3) ~candy

My tattoos mean everything to me, I wouldn’t be myself without them. I have 4 traditional Japanese tattoos, and they’re all lucky charms. I also have burgundy hair and stretched ears. Fashion is also very important, since it helps me express myself when words fail. I often dress in pastel colors, but from time to time I’ll dress like my good ol’ emo days haha. I also really love animals (real and stuffed ones lol)! I’m pretty childish most times and a bit of a cry baby. (2/3)~candy

Im literally always listening to music. Im still learning how to make proper meals but I’m unexpectedly good at baking sweets and pastries. I struggle with my confidence a lot but I think I’m overall pretty kind and hardworking. I love helping and pleasing others! From a fellow art student to another, take all the time you need to finish these requests, don’t overwork yourself and remember to drink lots of water! Love you and your blog~ 💕 (3/3) ~candy

_____

I love you too, candy anon! All the best for your projects too T^T

Beelzebub 🍔!! (MY BEST BOI 😍😍😍)

He’s kinda concerned about your food intake. He understands how important your projects are to you and admires your dedication, but he can’t for the life of him understand how you manage to focus so hard that you ignore your body’s call for  f o o d . (He’s the exact opposite, he focuses so hard on eating that he sometimes forgets that he’s supposed to be working on his homework while he’s snacking.)

You guys help each other!! You give him gentle reminders from time to time that he’s supposed to be working on his project while he snacks, or maybe you even use snacks as a motivation for him to do his schoolwork! (”Beel, if you manage to annotate your notes to this paragraph, I’ll let you have another hamburger.” “Deal.”) In return, he regularly brings you snacks and drinks while you’re studying and reminds you that taking breaks (to cuddle with him) is important too!!

He makes you a deal: he’ll make you all the normal meals you want if you’ll just bake for him at least once. Please? (Can anyone resist his puppy dog eyes? I know I can’t.) His birthday is coming up after all; you don’t have to get him anything but it’d be nice if he could try your sweets on such a special day...it’d make his day even more special!

He’s not really into fashion (that’s Asmo’s speciality, not his.), but he’ll tell you that you look good in anything that you wear and he’ll support you if you ever want to try new fashion styles!! And if you ever want to help him update his closet, he’s happy to let you take over...all he ever wears is T-shirts and jeans. He thinks it’ll be fun to wear something new if you’re the one picking it out for him :3

When he finds out you like stuffed animals, He gets you a stuffed animal for every occasion...and I mean every occasion. New Year’s Eve, Lunar New Year, Valentine’s Day, White Day, Halloween, Christmas, anniversaries, your birthday, his birthday...he even gives you one on Lucifer’s birthday while simultaneously forgetting to get something for Lucifer.

He’s such a soft boi I love him T^T

[lothalite]

Dating Peter Maximoff Would Include...

IF YOU LIKE SOFT AND FLUFFY PETER MAXIMOFF CONTENT THIS IS FOR YOU

THERE’S LITERALLY 100+ BULLETS I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY MAKING THESE FOR MY FRIEND AS A SURPRISE I HOPE YOU LOVE THEM

the best piggy back rides (not in bullet time obviously because you’d get “w-h-i-p-laaaaash”)

during school days at the institute he’ll zoom to your location, kiss you, then zoom away

he taps his foot at light speed in class because he’s SO ANXIOUS to see you

he loves carrying you for some reason ??

peter always treats you like royalty

his favorite pet name for you is “princess”

whether you’re a girl or boy, it doesn’t matter.  you’re peter maximoff’s princess

he’s the kind of guy that would buy you pads and tampons with no question or backlash

this boy can give the best massages given that he can vibrate his entire body

you’re feeling stressed about school ? family life ? peter is there in a second

he’s the little spoon when you cuddle

his preferred sleeping spot is directly on top of you

he says you’re the one that made him “slow down and enjoy life more”

his little sister adores you

“peter, will s/he get to be my big sister/brother?”

peter will shyly smile at her

“i sure hope so, sis.”

his mom cherishes you and everything you’ve done for peter

“please marry him i don’t know what i would do without you you’ve made peter such a better person and he actually attends classes now im—“

whenever peter has a rough training session with the xmen he goes to find you and takes a nap on top of you

it literally does not matter one bit to him where you are or what you’re doing

studying in the library?

cool now you have a peter on your lap sleeping

he’s clingy, but not the bad or unhealthy kind

like he’ll gladly give you space when you ask for it but other than that he’s snuggled up to you

peter’s the kind to get jealous easily

he’s not possessive, just insecure about himself sometimes

he’s so precious don’t you ever hurt him

there are things he doesn’t like about his appearance

his silver hair, average height, nose, and his lil tummy

^dont fucking fight me on the last one

you always make a point to shower him with love, affection, and reassurance

he CRIES

peter, crying: “*sniff* i love you s-so much, princess”

peter’s got the nicest ass

he gets so flustered and blushy whenever you give it a smack as you walk by him

it’s the cutest butt ever you can’t help yourself

peter fucking LOVES when you play with his hair

you lower his crime rate by a huge 7%

if he’s struggling with schoolwork (which is almost all the time) you always help him

he tends to get “distracted” during your tutoring sessions and starts kissing down your neck

you’ll swat him away and he whines

“but princesssssssss!”

and so you came up with a system

“every time you get a question right, you get a kiss”

now peter has straight A’s

but sometimes he purposely starts to fail a class just for Study Reward Kisses

peter’s a cocky bastard as we know

he loves to tease and make suggestive comments to you

but if YOU tease him and make suggestive comments?

he gets so fucking flustered and stutters

peter’s a whole ass virgin

but he’s your whole ass virgin ;))

have i mentioned peter is very sensitive

he lowkey gets sad and cries a lot

at first he’s really bad about it and he doesn’t share his feelings with you

but one day you find him sitting on your bed, rubbing his eyes trying to make the tears go away before you see him

you practically hurl yourself onto the bed and pull him into your embrace and ask him what’s wrong

there’s nothing you hate more than seeing your baby upset and not knowing why

now he tends to be much more vocal about his problems and will lay his head on your shoulder as he explains them to you

peter has literally no idea what he would do if you weren’t there in his life

sometimes he cries because he’s thinking about how much you love and care for him

you guys have movie nights all the time

there’s so much candy that you lawfully paid for

ping pong tournaments in his basement (he finally has someone else to play with !!)

his sister is your ultimate cheerleader

if you like makeup and like experimenting with it, peter will let you use him as a model

peter has some BOMB ASS eyebrows now thanks to you

if you put eyeliner on him he’ll purposely smudge it and walk around in black calling himself a “goth” for the rest of the day

if peter is having daddy issues over erik you help him with it

charles loves you for keeping peter in check

all the professors do tbh

peter honestly wouldn’t be able to function without you

you remind him to eat, drink water, sleep, exercise (even though he probably doesn’t need the reminder), do his homework, and anything else on his agenda that has now become yours

ARCADE DATES

MALL DATES

MOVIE DATES

ALL THE FUN DATES

peter isn’t one for going out to fancy restaurants or anything like that

he tried once, to be the cliche romantic like in the movies, but you could easily tell he was uncomfortable

so instead, you sat on the roof of the institute and played uno while occasionally making out

also pink floyd was playing

this boy goes ALL OUT for valentines day

he’s never had a real “valentine” before and he was so excited

he bought so many chocolates (you let him eat half of them), a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers

he’s a sucker for sappy romance :,)

there’s almost no fights in your relationship

there’s so much loyalty and love between the two of you

if you did get in a fight it was probably about whether pac man or galaga was better

all the young mutant kids think your relationship is adorable

you joke around with it and kiss him aw

they do the typical kid thing

“eewww!”

so of course peter kisses you again

charles has to lower the volume of thoughts in his mind because all he can hear is peter’s amplified thoughts about how much he loves you

charles tells you

“That boy loves you more than anything in this world, Y/N. Don’t lose him.”

“don’t worry, professor.  i could never dream of a life without him.”

peter overhears and nyooms in, kissing you on the cheek and wrapping his arms around you from behind

“that’s my princess.” :,,)

christmas is peter’s favorite holiday to spend with you

it’s the first time he ever said “I love you”

you were cuddled up on the couch in your fluffy christmas pajamas

there was a blanket draped over both of you, and you were running your fingers through peter’s hair which makes him extra sleepy

as he started to drift off to sleep, he mumbled it into your neck

“mmm... i love you, princess..”

you stopped what you were doing for a second to process what he had said

you leaned down and kissed his temple

“I love you too, peter.”

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did making them!!  Feedback is welcomed ~

for more soft peter maximoff headcanons, look here: x