#and i should be receiving that one lot of merch soon

[moeatsushi]

updated board! charm courtesy of @akumanorobin

[hurpdurpburps]

Otherside Picnic Manga Yuri Club Special Story 1 English Translation

It has recently come to my attention that Japanese animanga merch store Gamers (ゲーマーズ)'s Yuri Club (百合部) benefits programme's publication of the OP manga series come with an exclusive bonus short story for every volume (not the same as the Kozakura POV shorts).

Since I haven't come across any English translations of these bonus stories online, and they seem unlikely to receive official English licensing, I've decided to translate them myself and share them with the internet.

You can check out the official Yuri Club website if you wish to find out more (Japanese-only).

-

SPOILER WARNING: Takes place immediately before the events of File 3 - Station February in Vol 1 of the novels.

Written by: Miyazawa Iori

Translated by: @hurpdurpburps

-

Chapter 1: Shinjuku, The First Meet-Up

As it was my first time meeting up with someone in Shinjuku, I asked about where we should meet.

A message saying "I don't know, I'm not very familiar with Shinjuku," returned in response.

What an unreliable woman. You’re the one who insisted on having an afterparty…

I was glaring at the screen of my smartphone when the next message appeared along with a goofy pop-up sound effect. "You can pick a spot, Sorawo."

You’re not supposed to say "You can pick a spot". Shouldn’t you be saying "Could you pick a spot, please?" [1]

Oh, whatever. She helped me out when we encountered Hasshaku-sama the other day, so I'll pick a meeting place as a way of returning the favour…

After consulting the internet, I decided for us to meet at 4.30pm in front of an installation called "The Eye of Shinjuku". From there, we would make our way to the commercial district along the West Exit of the station and pick a restaurant at random.

It's going to be early Friday evening, so it shouldn't get too crowded yet… Is that too optimistic of me? No, I'm sure it'll be fine. This is Tokyo, there are lots of shops, I’m sure it’ll work out somehow.

With excessive trust in Tokyo's crowd capacity that was typical of someone from the countryside, I informed Toriko of the meeting place.

The next evening. The station's layout was more complicated than I thought, so I got a little lost. I cut through the underground hurriedly and finally arrived at my destination five minutes late. Toriko, who was leaning against “The Eye of Shinjuku' - a shining eye-shaped object against a black stone wall, waved as soon as she saw me.

Toriko stood out, so she'd caught my eye before `"The Eye of Shinjuku" did, which was supposed to have been the focal point of attention. Perhaps we might have been able to catch each other anyway if I’d gotten Toriko to stand at a random location.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"No, it's okay. I just got here." [2]

"When did you actually arrive?"

"About fifteen minutes ago, I think."

"… That's a little early?"

"I was looking forward to it!"

Toriko was in a good mood despite having been kept waiting, and looked like she was about to start hopping around.

"Let's hurry up. I haven't eaten anything since I woke up, so I'm really hungry."

"Fine, fine. Well, um… I guess it’s this way."

Together with Toriko, I started walking towards the West Exit.

"By the way, why did you choose this side of the station? Isn't the East Exit side more bustling?"

"Well, that side seems a little scary… Isn't Kabukicho or whatever over there?"

"Yeah. Haven't you been there?"

"Absolutely not. Isn't it scary?"

"No it’s not. There’s lots of stuff over there, like a movie theatre. It's annoying when people call out to you when you're alone, though."

"It's scary after all."

"It'll be fine, I’m with you. Wanna head over there now?"

"Nope, I’m good. Maybe next time if I feel like it." [3]

As we engaged in frivolous conversation, I was suddenly struck by a strange feeling. Meeting up with a friend to go drinking made me feel like an ordinary college student. I wasn’t planning on going to the Otherside today, had a surplus of cash in my pocket, and I didn't have my gun with me either.

So even I can do something like that…

As I indulged myself in the sentiment, I walked side-by-side with Toriko through the streets of Shinjuku, where bars were starting to open for business.

TL Notes

General note: I adopted a more 'literary' prose style to match the tone of the novels. Hence, the translation in this series will be significantly more liberal than my usual analytical posts. Feel free to ask me anything. Feedback regarding translation accuracy is also welcome.

[1] The original Japanese here says 決めていいよじゃないよ。決めていただけませんか、じゃないの？

TLDR Sorawo is just being petty and griping about Toriko's not using formal/polite language for what was essentially a request/favour while not having the 'moral high ground' so to speak.

[2] More of a cultural note than a translation one. These two lines are something of a standard greeting for scenes depicting a (new-ish) couple going on a date.

And also throwback!!!! To their conversation at Shosen Grande when Sorawo was waiting for Toriko before their second trip to the Otherside in Vol 1 (File 2 - Hasshaku-sama survival).

“Did I keep you waiting?” “Fifteen minutes.” “Isn’t this where you’re supposed to say, ‘I just got here’?” “Did you think this was a date or something?” I said curtly, heading outside without listening to her response.

Gotta love how Sorawo just punched through social niceties and interrogated Toriko about the truth. But more importantly she didn't call out Toriko again on the date-ish line lol.

[3] Vol 5 foreshadowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said.

List of Yuri Club's Otherside Picnic Short Stories [my translations]:

1. Shinjuku, The First Meet-Up (新宿、初めての待ち合わせ)

2. Hasshaku-sama Epilogue (八尺様エピローグ)

3. Ochanomizu, The First Afterparty (お茶の水、初めての打ち上げ)

4. Ikebukuro, Cafe Meal For One (池袋、ひとりカフェ飯)

5. Naha, After The Big Job (那覇、大仕事の後)

6. Ishigaki Island, A Dazed Vacation (石垣島、呆然のリゾート)

7. Mercedes AMG, The Backseat (メルセデスAMG、後部座席)

8. Otherworldly Elevator, On The Way Back (異世界エレベーター、帰路)

9. Kozakura Mansion, Pizza Party (小桜屋敷、ピザパーティー)

10. TBD

11. TBD

[yuikomorii]

Is it just me or is Diabolik Lovers losing the popularity it once had?…

// Uhm… that depends. Even if there are still some enthusiasts who would purchase any merch released by Rejet and support the franchise, the volume is obviously lower than in previous years. Nevertheless, they’re not doing that bad for now.

Most people found out about DL when they were still quite young, whether they were from the West or Japan. Teenagers often have more free time, which allows them to engage in whatever they want and create content as a result. But as you get older, your schedule will fill up faster. Many DL fans have begun attending college, landing jobs, or even starting families, making it difficult to maintain a fan account in these circumstances. After all, that isn't intended to be a top priority.

The year 2015 saw the peak of DL's popularity; it received a lot of love and fan support. However, after the release of LE, everything changed. That game got so many negative reactions to the point that fans started boycotting it. I’m sure not everyone meant that in an intentional way but due to the critics, which weren’t just “this game is bad” but rather “this game makes me feel sick/dizzy/too sad etc.”, a lot of people didn’t buy the game and were influenced to dislike it. It became the lowest ranked DL game ever and yeah, they lost plenty of fans with it. Rejet published CL in 2019, but although being more well-liked than LE, it didn't generate as much excitement as previous DL games did because a big number of fans still hadn’t returned.

Moreover, preferences change, opinions change and, most importantly, people change. Only because they liked something 10 years ago, there is no guarantee that they still like it 10 years later and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Otome games became more popular than in the past, therefore a bunch of new ones were released, which piqued the audience's curiosity. Otomate seems to lead with their games, since most of their characters are extremely loved and talked about both in Japan and the West right now and that honestly makes sense because people will undoubtedly be more interested in newer things.

Something seems to happen to Rejet because they got a lot of complaints from fans for: mixing up merchandise packaging, selling merchandise with flaws, delaying a number of things, messing up the voices in various CD dramas, and other things. They did, however, apologize, but I do agree that going through all of that must definitely be a bad experience.

And last but not least, maybe some people are just not active right now. It’s still summer for most of us, so a lot of individuals will most likely choose to enjoy it rather than spend all of their time online. Many of my friends have temporarily stepped away from Tumblr, but they will return as soon as they feel like it. Remember guys: fan accounts should be just for fun and leisure, not something that forces you not to have a social life.

[happyheidi]

Happyheidi’s drawing contest! ♡

~ CANCELLED ~

Get your supplies ready! Object: moffe 🐕

As a celebration of 100k followers I want to have a drawing contest! My dream is to have my little moffe 🐕 drawn by you amazing artists of tumblr! You can use whatever medium you like, digital, paint, draw, chalk, etc. whatever you want. You can also use whatever picture as a reference or just go freestyle. - Some references here and here.

How to do it:

When you’re done just submit your art by using the “submit a post” option.

This is a way for you to show your art! I will post every submission with a link to your page.

~ On top of getting their art featured here, the winner will receive Moffe. lol jk. You will get a goodie bag that’ll include, among other things, some awesome cute moomin merch, a handmade bracelet, some precious trinkets that I’ve put a lot of love into, a note and more! And I’ll ship to anywhere in the world <3

The contest is canceled

I’ve decided to do a general giveaway instead and find an artist I like and commission a piece privately. I’ll post the giveaway soon, so stay tuned my lovelies ❤️ you amazing artists deserves to be paid for your work! My thoughts was that it could be like a quid pro quo in a way. That you get your art seen by more ppl and I get to see how you would draw the one I love most in this world. But this can and should happen another way. I felt something was a little “of” with this whole thing from the beginning and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but after a anon asked me to “stop begging for art” i got it. SO a giveaway for everyone - not a contest in any way - will be happening soon 🥰

[loturazine]

Merch, Merch & More Merch!

It’s been a hot minute since the last update, but boy is there some stuff to cover!  As of today, all merch has been received, as well as the NSFW books!  Everything for the zines is in! 

I am waiting on packaging materials to arrive - and assuming I have measured correctly and everything will fit, packing of boxes (and then the shipping) should be on the horizon very soon.  We’ll update again once we start shipping boxes, too, so you will know when to start looking for emails.

Q. Will we get tracking information? A: Yes - as the packages are packed and shipped, tracking information will be added to the orders, which folks should be notified of via email. Q.  I don’t have tracking info! A:  Don’t worry - there will be a lot of orders. This shipping part is a one-mod operation, so I’ll be doing them in manageable batches.  I might not have gotten to you yet.  We’ll do a final update once everything has been shipped; if you STILL don’t see a shipping notification by that point, check in with us.  Maybe there was a typo on the email address or something.  We’ll get you sorted.

Q. I want to know about leftover merch.  What’s the numbers - will there be any? A: There are some.  For the standees and charms, there are both regular leftovers and some B-grade leftovers.  We’ll do the latter at a discount.  We will also have leftovers of the pins, washi tape, sticker sheets and both books. The B-grades have very, very minimal damage, such as a slight dink in the corner - but we’ll be transparent about what to expect with these once those orders go up.

Q. Will this arrive by Christmas!? A: Tentatively I am aiming to get these boxes into folks hands by the holidays.  Domestically, I think that is doable, short of an unforeseen delay.  International orders - I don’t know, and given that once it hits the post, it’s out of my hands entirely, I wouldn’t want to make promises this close to the holidays on either front.  But - I am hoping, yes.

Q: What carrier will you be using? A: As of now, doing preliminary pricing, we’ve found the best rates via USPS, and will be using that for most, if not all orders.  All orders will include tracking information - this is both for my sanity and your anxiety.

Q: Okay - so.  Got any pics? I wanna see the goods! A: You got it - here’s some images from my holiday packaging bonanza - enjoy!

So!  I definitely have my work cut out for me getting everything wrapped up - and then once he shipping boxes arrive we should be ready to move forward.  Updates will follow!  

Thank you to everyone who has been so kind and patient as we pulled this large project together - and big thank you to the generous artists and authors who have donated their labor and love to make this possible!

-Mod Crystal

[redfurrycat]

🦎🦾🛫🦿Incorrect Quotes/Drabbles Top Gun & Pacific Rim AU - Series🦿🛫🦾🦎

Reuben Payback Fitch is in his private quarters at the Miramar Shatterdome, reading the latest report on the updates added to the Jaeger he’s co-piloting with Mickey Fanboy Garcia. They’re supposed to have another test later before their WagerTrek Jaeger is to officially launch an attack against the Kaiju.

His boyfriend was supposed to be in charge of the snacks for their much-deserved break. It’s been several minutes since he left. The Miramar kitchen isn’t that far from their quarters, so Payback is wondering what Fanboy is up to now.

He’s also feeling a bit nervous. Yesterday he received the engagement ring he asked to be engraved, and he’s wondering when to propose…

He’s thinking about different scenarios, toying with the ring, when the door of his quarters is suddenly opened, and his soon-to-be fiancé –hopefully– comes in with a huge smile!

Fanboy: ‘SUP, BABE?!

Payback, startled and moved frantically to hide the ring in his pillow: Yo, Mickey-boo. Why are you so late?

Fanboy: I was busy putting an end to our sufrimiento. ¡Tu boyfriend es un héroe!

Payback: What did you do? What suffering?

Fanboy: The kind que impieza con una J y una B.

Payback: J and B…Jake and Bradley? What about them? I thought they were currently avoiding each other because of another bullshit reason. Bullshit reason that is in fact an epic failed attempt at flirting that both sides somehow took offence from…

Fanboy: Let me explain what I did. So, do you remember my collection of action figures that nobody –but you– knows about?

[The collection Fanboy is talking about is an action-figures-of-every-Daggers-Jaeger-Pilot-in-their-PPDC-uniform-with-extra-accessories type of collection. It’s all part of the commercial aspect of the Jaeger-Kaiju War. Even though the Apocalypse is coming closer, some try to make a profit out of it, because there are a lot of groupies who like to spend their money to buy figurines of their heroes and the giant Godzilla-like monsters. Fanboy is one of the groupies, although he gets discounts and the Merchandise Team loves him – he gives them so many good ideas, like the Fanboy he is.]

Payback: Yeah. So?

Fanboy: Well, I asked the Merch Team to do me a favour and create two unique action figures.

[The first one is a Bradley Rooster Bradshaw action figure. The Rooster doll wears his Ranger & PPDC-issued uniform with a leather jacket portraying his Kaiju kills; however, he doesn’t have his usual accessories, he gets a Stetson, a wooden comb, and a toothpick box instead. Meanwhile the other action figure is a Jake Hangman Seresin doll wearing a mustache, a colourful Hawaiian-shirt and jorts with extra accessories such as a Bronco and a French bulldog figurine.]

Payback, speechless: For real, man?

Fanboy, excited: Yup. Then I put the Bradley doll in Jake’s room, and the Jake doll in Bradley’s. It should melt their pissy moods, perhaps they’re too chicken shit to face their feelings, but I’m hoping they’re far too gone on one another to throw the doll away…

Payback: I know you enough to tell there’s another step to that plan…

Fanboy, Aw. You know me too well, babe. There is!

Payback: ‘Kay, Mickey-Mouse, tell you what. I have five attempts to guess your plan. You win, I’m doing your part of the report about the test we’re conducting with WagerTrek. I win, I want my OWN customised doll and shit! ‘Cause this is so cool!

Fanboy: Deal, mi amor!

Payback; with a giant grin: Sweet, baby! Oh, and you’ve forgotten our snacks! ☹

Fanboy: ¡Joder! be right back!

[Fanboy runs to the kitchen to fetch their snacks while Payback put his ring away, a plan finally forming in his head. By the way, Fanboy also has a plan to propose to his boyfriend with an action figure!]

[The sequel of Fanboy’s plan to be set in another post.]

[This third post is in the same timeframe than the first one. And I’ve figured out what Bradley and Natasha’s Jaeger name is going to be. The FeatheredFlame!]

[I got the idea for this post once I saw @babyrooster’s post about Barbie!Rooster. It sparked something in my head! :D]

(Original Ring Picture source: x)

_3_

[Pinned post with other stuff, related and unrelated to this AU.]

[Follow this tag 🦎🦾PR/TG🛫🦿 for more!]

[wakanawill]

Bro i need to ask- where did you learn to felt? When did that show up as a hobby? It seems like such a hard thing to just pick up some day and it's had me wondering if there was a reason or if it was a spur of the mill decision that has clearly payed off greatly.

-sinsly

oh boi those will be hard to answer cuz my memory is bad

Where did I learn to felt - Internet! I dont remember where exaclty I found felting but I saw it and some needle felted stuff and I was like "OH THAT'S THE SAME THING I SAW NAPSTABLOOK MADE IN THAT ONE MINIATURE HOUSE VIDEO" and I got super interested and I watched a bunch of stuff and I ordered the wool and needles for felting and I started doing it. It was about 3 years ago now

When did that show up as a hobby - tbh I am not sure what this question means. may he cuz I'm not sure what exacly a hobby is. But after getting the wool I was felting on and off when I felt like it. I had phases when I felted a lot and when I didnt felt at all. (I used to have only so much wool that I could put it in my fav bag. Now at it I have all the other stuff for felting and dolls except the wool. I have so much wool). I remeber that in the first year of needle felting I was moslty doing small not dolk stuff. I started felting somewhere in fall and I tried to make a first doll in summer I think. I found some cool photos and was like "I can do that!" also I could not find how people make them for the love of primes. But I made them anyway cuz how hard it can be really. So I did. I mean the doll wasnt perfect but ite moslty how I still do them with some changes but the base is all there. in the second year I did a lot more dolls. I have a bag of them. maybe 10 tops? somehow dolls in that period I managed to do in 4-5 hours which is like HOW? I mean they are simpler and dont have as much stuff on them and the hair wasnt curled up and the clothes weren't seperate things but HOW THE FLIP. some time later after my main phase for making dolls calmed down I made lego monkie kind Monkey king doll (I'm still proud of this one tbh) and Timothy Lawrence doll from BL3. And at the end this summer I think I was just watching some dsmp stuff and for whatever reason I thought that I could make dolls of dsmp. cuz like... I can make dolls of my fav characters so why not! it's not like there is any merch on any way similar to dolls that I could buy. I mean there are plushies I guess but that still pretty far. also just making them is cheaper for me. And then I thought that maybe other people would like to have dolls like this too. and that maybe I could earn myself some money on it. Cuz like any work I could do without education (I'm at uni rn) is something I could not do mentally and my mom is all the time that I should try to earn some money myself. so I was like let's try to make those dolls! But as you see I still didnt sell any cuz I'm kinda very scared of doing stuff I dont know and like selling somebody's else merch is kinda not exaclty legal (but I dont think ranboo and other streamer will try to sue me for selling dolls of them on etsy?) and also selling anything without proper tax stuff is kinda not exaclty legal also? Idk law is so weird I dont get it. Every time I try to figure out how it theoretically should be done in legal way i just panic xd. also I'm afraid of post offices cuz last time I tried to send something to somebody as far as I know they didnt receive it (they did have incentive to not tell me that it arrived I guess so like idk) but soon I'll be sending something to somebody and hopefully my mom will help me with operating the post office! and hopefully it'll give me enaght of a kick if it works out that I'll actually try to make that flipping etsy shop.

Cuz I really like making those dolls dont get me wrong. and seing people like them it really nice too (finally some good fucking serotonin). But I'm trying to make those dolls in many difrent cool and better ways (like tommy was first doll to get curly hair and ranboo has sewed clothes instead of felted ones and George ot first doll to not have clothes complelty felted onto his body) but BOIIII IT COSTS MONEY. It costs a lot of money. I recently bought alpaka fleece and I cleaned it and I'm gonna use it for doll hair so they actually can have some longer hair but BOI it was expensive and cleaning it took ages. So yea mom will figuratively eat me if I at least dont try to sell those XDDD (also having so many family members being like "Did you sold any?" or "when will you sell them?" or "you should sell them" is annoying and then after being told how much I would charge for them they are like "em nobody's gonna buy those" like Oh please stop)

That... that's is a really long replay that doesnt even exaclty replay to what you asked but tells my needle felting origin story i guess. I'm sorry xdd tell me if I forgot to answer to something

tl:dr

I was needle felting on the internet once got interested and decided to try out. felted on and off and one day I realized that i can do dolls of my fav characters and then i realized that probably some people would be willing to buy them if i sold them so is started making dsmp dolls that you can see on my tumblr but I'm soo anxious to try to make an etsy shop (I will make one someday. I WILL) So here I am.

I still didnt post eret doll shit

[lordeemailarchive]

meet you by the piano?

(25/04/2022) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 13) (From Minneapolis)

Hello hello hello. Writing this backstage after soundcheck in Minneapolis. Am firmly entrenched in the rhythms of tour life— wake up at 11am, do some work or drink a tea in bed or go to the gym, then drift in to soundcheck in another beautiful venue with columns and gilt and a cloud-painted ceiling. Sit alone for a while after that, steam voice, do some skincare, embroider or read, soon start to feel show night momentum build all around. Walkie-talkies buzzing to each other, house music going on, Remi’s set wafting up the stairs. Sitting in glam, being transformed somehow from someone with eye bags and active acne to… something shiny. In to the band to sing, then to the stage, in the wings, that feeling of waiting in the wings so imprinted from childhood, always the same open feeling, giving oneself over to what’s about to happen. Which always feels like it’s over in a second, blink and I’m running back down the hall to my room, where I’ll leave the gears on the floor in a pile, and head to the bathroom to wash the glittery paint from my face.

Since I last wrote, we’ve played two shows in Boston, two in New York, one in Philadelphia, and two in Chicago. I’m sorry about Uncasville and D.C. Felt the throat thing start to scratch and then open out to a full searing burn, heard notes that were easy to sing the night before disappear. Was reminded of the Sylvia Plath poem — “And now you try / Your handful of notes; / The clear vowels rise like balloons.” If only. But we’ll come to you in August, and you know now we’re gonna make those shows psychotically special to say thankyou for your patience. Now I’m feeling tip top good, there are eight shows left on this crazy run, I’m gonna be a sad girl when it ends. Some recent Lauren pictures I love: (NB: PUT SOME RADIO CITY PICS ON INSTAGRAM TOO)

Especially loving her pictures of you guys.

Other things… Eating a lot of Fishwife sardines (much to the chagrin of my entire tour bus), ordering expensive underwear in the middle of the night, sending txts with invisible ink, trying to resist microtrends but looking up miniskirts, feeling my body getting tour strong, feeling comfortable under the lights. Listening to new Empress Of and Chelsea Jade and this amazing Pa Salieu song that I missed somehow in 2020. Read Sea of Tranquility and Time Is A Mother and now rereading a favourite Lucia Berlin collection that made me realise I really gotta go to New Mexico. Dying to see this. Staying up til 3am writing a maybe amazing early Drake style monologue in the hotel room in Toronto, adding new songs to the setlist on the fly, putting stuff in the calendar for six months from now. Plotting, scheming. Loving you.

Music, by Antonina Leonardovna Rzhevskaya

1:01am in the bus leaving Chicago

Beautiful letter by C. Getting annihilated by your letters to me. I’m thinking I should put a box at the merch desk or something to collect your notes??? I fully treasure each one and hate to think of missing any…

Daily routine of a setlist deviator

Your little rat in custom Prada, can you believe it, it’s all too much.

E xxxxxxo

(source: received this email)

[obeymeluv]

The Bros as Dads

PSA: The boys would be very attractive dads (emotionally and physically). That is all.

Note: the headcanon also includes genders for the kids. I can see some of them having sons, and others having daughters. And, obviously, everyone is older (20′s-ish).

Lucifer

Takes a while to process the news. It’s kind of a big thing. His love life was something of a roller coaster (or nonexistent) until you. The ‘L’ word was a hurdle, now there’s a B word and a P word?!

When his brain realizes what you’ve said or if you show him some proof, the pride takes over FULL SWING (you can feel it explode in him, like his aura) and he purrs

You are truly his stars, his moon, and the heavens he so dearly misses

There’s this raw, vulnerable love in Lucifer’s eyes and it pretty much awes everyone because he’s usually so proper and reserved

The memories are old and dusty but Lucifer’s parenting instincts are strong

A type-A, fussy person. You may have 7 months left before you give birth, but the house will be spotless and perfectly proofed before you hit bed rest

Piles of parenting books suddenly sprout around the house. No one’s sure where they came from or how there’s even that many WRITTEN about parenting.

You and the child become his world. You’re his kryptonite, the only thing to convince him away from long hours or break him out of sour moods

Lucifer is very stressed, more than he thought he’d be, because you’re carrying his child and he worries for your health.

He’s with you every step of the way, from appointments to birth

He’d absolutely drop everything to tend to your needs, or appoint one of the brothers if he couldn’t.

Likes to busy himself with making a nursery and is actually good at themes/interior decorating

Has a tiny desk built in his study. The child won’t be able to join him for a while, but the idea of his tiny joy working on something beside him warms his heart

Hunts down obscure herbs and items from folklore that are supposed to bless pregnancies or benefit the unborn. Turns out he’s really nervous and superstitious.

Lucifer is the worst when it comes to shopping because his pride outweighs his logical restraint. If he convinces himself IN THE SLIGHTEST that his child would look good in something or the nursery could really use an item, it’s coming to the House of Lamentation

He ugly cries when he realizes you’re having a girl because he feels like Lilith has been given back to him.

Refuses to name his child Lilith because of everything that happened. Can’t settle for anything close to her name or any nicknames they gave her.

Makes you a sleeping space in his study. Loves to take breaks to watch you sleep. Unintentionally takes a break to kiss your stomach and talk to the baby.

Firm believer in ‘in the belly’ enrichment so you’ll have music playing and Lucifer will read to them all the time.

If the baby’s not with you, she’s with him. Lucifer has definitely shown up to a meeting with Lord Diavolo with his baby in a chest carrier. The meeting went flat because Diavolo wanted to play with the baby.

He’s the type of dad that demands total silence when the baby’s sleeping. Might have tied up some of his brothers to achieve it.

He’s not a total hard-ass (this kid has made a sucker out of him, okay?) but his kid will definitely have manners and knows to help clean up.

The type to take naps with his kid. He’ll get up at 2 in the morning and climb into their crib if they’re fussy.

Lucifer spent so much of his life being the primary caretaker for his bros that he forgets he’s not alone this time. When you push him back down so he can sleep, and tend to your daughter, his heart almost bursts with love.

On the fence about another child. The kid’s going to have pride in spades and he thinks a sibling will humble them (and make them less lonely). He’s also afraid of that prideful wrath and doesn’t want two prideful little demons always fighting

Isn’t the best with dressing up his kid but likes to give them fancy shoes. The shoes are always on point even if the rest of the outfit is a disaster.

Is 100% ready to receive any and everything “#1 Dad” because he IS, DAMN IT. He’ll use it regularly, too.

Mammon

He’s freaking out hardcore (”You sure? Really, really sure? Maybe you just have gas or something. Y-yeah!”)

Doesn’t believe it until he sees a test. Promptly faints. Dead-ass faints as soon as he sees it.

Kind of remembers it when he wakes up, and you have to remind him again.

This time he’s pretty excited because THE GREAT MAMMON will be having a child. WHAT A GIFT, RIGHT? THE BEST GIFT!

All the magazines are snapping up this gossip and, for once in his life, he puts the earnings away. Kid has a nice fund going before they’re even born.

His schedule is 50% work, 50% family because YOUR MAIN MAN HAS TO BE THERE. Work just pays the bills and pads the nursery account, okay?

The Devildom has something similar to a baby shower and Mammon puts all KINDS of high-dollar shit on there. His baby’s going to be stylin’, okay?

Some crying in front of others, but an entirely different kind of crying behind closed doors. Vulnerable, grateful crying about being loved and having a tiny someone who will love him, too

Pays someone to explain baby stuff to him. How to change them, feed them, what type of breathing you should be doing. It surprised his bros because Lucifer could just give him that info. The fact that Mammon paid for it means he’s pretty serious about learning.

Gets tons of free maternity photos because all his magazines want the scoop. He gets to pamper you and see you all dressed up and beautiful and EVERY magazine has a shot of him crying like a proud sap.

Mammon hoards all of those pictures. Has a pile of them in his room, totally separate from everything else.

Has a lot of nervous energy and can get frustrated with all the baby books, so he distracts himself with scrap-booking. Surprisingly good at it.

Mammon thinks you’re just the most beautiful thing ever. He loves taking pictures of you. Wants the kid to have no doubts about how much he loves them and their parent.

He’s so lovesick. When you sleep or hug your belly or just touch it he melts.

Stacks Grimm on your belly when you sleep. Thinks it’s fun. Likes to record how big the towers get.

Not the best at getting up for your random-hour cravings and has definitely made you cry with his bluntness. When he’s more awake he’ll apologize and you guys will work it out.

When he finds out he’s having a little boy, the bros throw a party. Mammon gets semi-drunk and has a huge, ass-chewing lecture about how the bros made him feel for centuries and how they better not say ANYTHING like that to his kid.

You shot down any and all attempts to name the kid anything money related.

Almost passed out when you had the baby.

Cried when he first held him. Calls him Mamm-mini.

Totally planning the baby’s first photo shoot. Has people on standby to make matching outfits.

He now has a partner in crime and the kid can charm the pants off of anyone!

Mammon is 100% devoted to this kid and he secretly hopes he’s the favorite parent.

Lives for any second of bonding he can get. NEEDS IT TO LIVE. 100% a sappy dad.

The most supportive dad, always saying nice things because he knows people didn’t always say nice things about him.

Levi

Brain stops working. You almost think you’ve given him a heart attack

Levi feels you take the controller from his hand and instantly has to fill it with something else, taking yours. He looks at you and asks you again if you’re sure.

He can see it in your eyes and he just crows. He doesn’t know if he’s excited or scared but he made the noise.

Worries A LOT about the idea of becoming a father. Can gross otakus be good fathers? How does he dad?

Gets pre-stressed about social interactions. Kids have to go to school and have play-dates and Levi’s going to have to talk to people...ugh! Gross!

Definitely has a few break-downs (feelings of inadequacy, etc.) before Lucifer or Satan comfort him. He’s better than he thinks, just insecure. Everyone learns as they go. They have classes (”They’re like cheat codes, Levi.”) and it makes him feel better

His gaming friends send their congratulations and he gets lots of themed blankets and onesies.

Wants you to have a water birth because the water is his child’s calling. Really attached to the idea.

He’s constantly looking up guides to baby-proofing, double- and triple-checking safety specs of anything before buying it.

Spends HOURS scouring Akuzon, comparing brands, and reading reviews for everything.

Akuzon noticed he was buying lots of baby books and looking at baby-related things so they sent him a onesie.

You get a lovely beach/water-themed maternity shoot and Levi is so love-struck he gets a nosebleed. Once he’s cleaned up it makes a darling photo shoot.  

Has already made lists of anime for the kid to watch. Some are his favorite, some are for the lessons and moments that stuck with him

Asmo messaged TSL on the down-low and Levi got some quality kid-sized merch.

Tries to get you to name the baby Henry if it’s a boy. When he finds out it’s a girl, he pushes for Henrietta.

Reads TSL to the baby and plays ocean sounds.

As you get further along in your pregnancy, he buys a fridge for his room and stocks it with your favorite cold stuff. Any snack foods are just added to his stash.

You are absolutely worshipped. Craving something? Akuzon has it and the fastest pig is on it’s way. Your feet hurt? Try a water bath!

You’re his Player 2 now and forever (always have been), and he’s keeping you in perfect health.

Probably keeps a video journal for the kid or of the two of you during your pregnancy. Big on preserving stuff digitally.

Probably makes a game for his kid just because. They’ll be able to play it when they’re older.

Bought a ton of Magical Girl-style hairbows and things for when their hair grows in. His daughter’s a fucking princess, okay?

Belphegor bought the baby a goldfish onesie and Levi loves it to pieces.

Bought the baby a seashell bassinet and rocks them to sleep with his tail.

Levi has a bad sleep schedule and wakes easily, so he’s usually the first one to get up and handle the baby.

He has this complex about being a good dad. People can call him a weird, gross otaku but they’re ALSO going to mention how good of a dad he is!

Super affectionate with his kid in a quiet, whispering, mumbling way. Just thinks they’re the best thing.

Having a daughter really makes him rethink some of the ways he viewed anime characters and made him super critical. If his daughter ends up liking anime he’ll make it very clear what he thinks and how she shouldn’t let other people treat her like an object. 

His demon form gets triggered REALLY EASILY if his bros hold her for too long. THAT’S HIS BABY, THANK YOU!

Satan

Secretly hoped to be a father one day. Wanted to prove so badly that he could be one, and move past the constant fear of his temper looming over him. He didn’t want wrath to be his only legacy.

Can’t manage more than a genuine smile and a lilting laugh when you tell him, but he’s literally almost sick with joy. He’s just not the type to jump from the rooftops or anything

Asmodeus and Mammon convince him into drinking because he needs to let loose and really show it!

Satan ends up drunk-stumbling to Lucifer and plunking his head into his chest and crying. He’s crying because he’s happy and mumbling something about ‘granddad’. When his tears dry he’s happy as can be, smugly calls Lucifer an ‘old fuck’ and promptly throws up.

They’re past most of their bad blood but even Lucifer wasn’t surprised Satan never got EVERYTHING out of his system. A lot of his childhood memories are tainted with pure wrath instead of coming into his cardinal sin through some other mean. Or naturally, like puberty.

Between his personal research and Lucifer’s expertise, the baby-proofing is totally covered.

His book binges are strictly about pregnancies, suspicions, rituals, parenting, and anything he can think of that has to do with kids.

He’s big on teas and brews that are supposed to help with pregnancies and pains. Uses his many connections to get ingredients for said teas

Reads the classics and big epics to his unborn child.

Buys you some Hellcats for protection. They’re fiercely loyal, so he’ll know you’re safe.

He’d be the type to nag you about your diet, but not to be mean. He’d support it with this absolute WALL of evidence that turns into a lecture that could last for hours.

Has to fight the Hellcats to sit next to you or touch your belly a lot more than he thought he would. He’d never say it out loud, but he’s starting to hate the cats (he doesn’t mean it though).

Starts cleaning up his book piles a lot more. The baby would get hurt if the stacks fell on them. His room becomes virtually spotless.

You pick books to read together. You end up reading Satan to sleep, too. He keeps a hand on your belly.

Gets nervous about you wanting to go out, and basically tries to keep you in the House of Lamentation. Relents a little because hormones make you scary. He was basically afraid of nothing because the walks were fine.

You like to sit in the Devildom gardens and he thinks you look picturesque and wonderful. It takes his breath away.

Asmodeus is your personal photographer because Satan doesn’t think anyone else will do you justice.

Finds out you’re having boy-girl twins and totally shuts down. What does he say? How does he respond? BELPHIE OR BEEL WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWINS! WHY HIM?!

Lucifer is BEYOND amused. This is definitely payback for everything Satan did in his childhood (so the saying goes).

It doesn’t bother him as much when he starts buying smart little cardigans, button-ups, ribbons, and bowties. He’s actually quite happy.

The Hellcats act weird and tip him off to your contractions before your water breaks. Satan gets you to the hospital and helps you give birth. The twins grow to look more like him than you, but if someone mistakes you for the nanny or says something derogatory, he’s pulling two ferocious kids off an idiot

Satan was afraid he’d be a short fuse, but he becomes the parent that explains everything to death (for better or worse). The kids will get a lecture when they’re bad, when the ask ‘why’ to something, he’ll explain why he gave the punishment he did, and be very clear with anything.

Asmodeus

Quickly falls in love with the idea of you being pregnant. It’s the best! Proof of his truest love, the thing that makes his heart beat!

He loved you to pieces before you were pregnant, and loves you even more now (if that’s possible).

Always wants to be with you, smothering your belly with kisses and touches and looking at it like it’s the next greatest love of his life

Takes names very seriously. “My child is a gift unto this world. People will know their name, so it has to be a good one!”

Gets really wrapped up in decor and aesthetic. He’d be a one-man force for all of it if you didn’t tell him to stop and breathe! Asmodeus just has lots of ideas, okay?

Has a really hard time understanding the value of baby-proofing until Satan smushes a few of his lipsticks in his hand and knocks around some finishing powder (”Now imagine that. All the time. With anything you love.”). 

Hires someone to baby-proof the room because that’s just not his thing. He’ll handle securing the valuables, okay?

Constantly reading about beauty rituals and things to do for his pregnant wife. She’s doing something really hard and deserves to be pampered!

You’ll constantly be pampered or trying ‘this and that’ because he read it was good for the baby. Good for beauty, good for health, etc.

Has a pretty decent diet, himself, and keeps you on yours.

You definitely have pregnancy sex a few times. Anything he can do to help you out, you know?

Asmodeus ADORES watching you grow round with his child and LIVES for helping you take care of yourself. He’ll let you lounge in his fantastic tub and has no issues sitting on the floor and doing your toes

Picks out all your outfits. Wants you to look your best! Don’t worry, you’ll be comfy!

When he finds out you’re having a girl he cries. A lot.

SO MANY BABY UPDATE BROADCASTS ON DEVILGRAM! There is an official ‘baby watch’. It’s trending more than you thought it would.

Takes TONS of videos.

His baby is easily the most fashionable child in all of Devildom.

Takes really candid, private photos that have a lot of sentimental value. A lot of your pregnancy photos are you looking comfy in bed or sitting at a vanity in breezy clothes as he does your makeup.

The type of dad to sit down in the middle of the store to play with toys (are they good enough for his kid? Like, really?). Must feel everything before he buys it. If he doesn’t like how it feels, he won’t buy it.

You end up giving birth earlier than planned and Asmo almost throws up because birth doesn’t look like he thought it would

Super nervous during your pregnancy because you’re in pain and there’s lots of noises.

Busies himself doing your makeup because that’s the only way he can handle the situation. You’re holding his tail and he SWEARS you’re going to break it off!

The bros help deliver his little angel and Asmo is SMITTEN. ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN.

Holding his baby 24/7.

Loses sleep just because he watches them sleep. Sometimes he loses sleep for real because DAMN, babies don’t sleep a lot, do they?

It’s really hard to adjust to and he’s surprised his skin isn’t god-awful.

Doesn’t regret a thing, fawning over their tiny nails and little curls, and OMG EVERYTHING! Cries a lot because they’re just perfect

His wardrobe reflects his dad status but he still looks like a DILF. You can give him the most classic dad attire and it just looks good on him.

Beelzebub

He’s excited about your pregnancy. Boy honestly tried for it, you know? Studied positions and everything.

Beelzebub has so much love and the idea of holding a tiny someone just warms his heart

Everything kid-related is totally foreign to him except for how to act with them. He and Belphie were the youngest so he was used to being taken care of until he got old enough to climb and eat on his own.

The type of guy to need explicit, step-by-step instructions on EVERYTHING. He doesn’t have a brain for it like Satan or Lucifer, so he needs help

Seriously. Give him a checklist for baby-proofing and he’ll get it done.

Gets pretty down about not being able to cuddle and snuggle like normal, but he’ll look into safe ways to do so.

Has special snuggles with the baby. Kisses your belly and rubs it. Talks to your baby like the little demon it is (even if it doesn’t have a name yet).

Lives for the times you talk to the baby, talk yourself out of bed, or how you absently talk to your belly throughout the day.

Works out to deal with stress and nerves, but also because he wants to be a good, strong dad

The doctors give him a list of exercises you can do and he does them with you

Can’t really take the nutrition advice seriously. He eats pretty much everything and you probably will, too.

When people ask him about your pregnancy, he uses very inclusive language (”We’re expecting, etc.”)

You make mini-dates out of your late-night cravings. Beel is totally in love with it.

Beelzebub becomes your food finder. There’s been times where you look at him so cutely, so imploringly, and all you can manage is ‘spicy and crunchy’. He’ll find you something, don’t worry! He’s an expert!

Big on massages and cuddling. Likes to cup his hands over your belly and trace it.

The type of dad to gain weight with you as your pregnancy moves along. Becomes soft, strong dad.

Finds out you’re having twin boys and has the happiest crying session ever. Belphie is the first to know and all Beel can say is ‘Just like us!’ as he nearly crushes his twin to death.

Likes to dress them in cute and comfy clothes. Animal onesies? Yes!

At some point yours twins are going to look like hotdogs and hamburgers. There’s no shortage of food costumes thanks to Levi, Asmo, and Beel.

Suspicious about baby food, bugs Satan about how nutritious it is, and tries all of it just to be sure.

Some of their teething toys look like real food. Beelzebub ate one on accident.

Is a perfect gentle giant. Afraid of hurting them, for they are tiny and precious, but gets over that pretty quickly.

Always wants to cuddle and hold them. You have to make him leave them alone to sleep. Gets kind of sad when they’re napping because he can’t make faces at them or hear them laugh. Right back to his usual self when they wake up, though.

You best believe they learn their alphabet by studying food. Beelzebub will stand in the kitchen and dig through the pantry until he finds things that match the letters of the alphabet 

Belphegor

He’s kind of surprised you ended up pregnant because the sex is usually lazy and casual. Yes, he has the moments where it’s pretty hardcore, but...wow. For some reason, he just didn’t see you getting pregnant.

Secretly hopes you have more than one kid. Something in him would just be happy if there’s more than one kid. You think it comes from the time he spent alone in the attic but never say it.

Sleeps a lot more. Not out of avoidance or anything, but because naps will be rare in the future. He likes to think he’s stockpiling sleep.

Makes sure you’re comfy at all times.

Would love for you to sleep and be cozy but apparently that’s not healthy for humans, so he takes easy walks around the house and keeps you semi-active.

He’ll give you his cow pillow to use as a back pillow. It’s his way of letting the baby use it until he can share it with them.

Listens to a lot of audiotapes about parenting. Looks at books, too, but does better with audio. 

Reads a new bedtime story to your kid every night.

Sometimes you guys sleep in the star room so he can talk to them about constellations. They can’t see anything, of course, but he still goes into detail.

Isn’t much of a picture person and doesn’t see the point in taking maternity pictures. It’s actually because Belphie has a photographic memory so he remembers everything.

The bros force him into taking maternity pictures.

The type to journal everything. He writes a big-ass, super-detailed diary for the baby.

Is kind of worried about his temperament, so he’ll take some classes on how to handle stress and stuff before the babies arrive

Becomes King of Lists. There’s lists for everything. Lists help. Lists are good.

When he finds out you’re having triplets (a boy and two girls), he doesn’t know how to react. You saw him smile though. It doesn’t sink in until you’re hugging him. “I’m never sleeping again,” he realizes with absolute terror.

Beelzebub is super excited. “That’s twins plus a bonus!”

Very snobby about the nursery decor. Also very tactile like Asmodeus. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not going in the nursery.

Wants a barn-themed nursery (to include as many cow-related things as possible)

You get the comfiest PJs.

With three kids, he lives by embroidery. He has to have a way to tell them apart, after all (the girls, at least).

Can’t hoard the babies but wants to. Hates that he doesn’t have enough arms to hold them all at the same time.

Is very interested by their tendency to hold each other and nap together. Finds it super adorable.

Makes a super-sized crib he can climb in and sleep with them. It’s basically a Belphie-sized bed with little attachments his kids sleep in. Separates them all just enough so he doesn’t worry about hurting them, but there’s still contact

Thanks whatever god exists that they mostly stay on a schedule together. Makes it stressful for changing diapers, but very fun to feed them.

Almost dies laughing when Lucifer holds them for the first time because one vomited on him, the other sneezed in his face, and one pooped so much it got on his pants leg.

Lulls them to sleep with his happy purr, and gets woken up from a dead sleep by pure love when they make the sound back. Suddenly there’s three chirpy purrs rolling against him and he’s in love.

Proud they love their mama so much (to the point of being TOTAL mama’s kids), but also kind of relieved he can breathe.

The three trade off occasionally when they realize he’s free real estate and come to him for snuggles. They all love him so he doesn’t mind.

This house supports cuddle piles! Belphie got them hooked on group naps for a young age and they sleep together now. 

Hope you liked it :)

[crystalwillow]

Dear Pixelberry Studios (@playchoices),

Let's talk Choices: Stories You Play.

I have contemplated this for a while because I am really starting to feel like you don't value all of your players words like you say you do, nor do I feel like you appreciate them all in general. There are so many recent examples of this that it's sad. There should be nothing I can use to back up this claim but there is.

Cancelling sequels that have been promised and expected for MONTHS only for you to turn around and throw them away.

Writing a really good book but then giving it a rushed last chapter so you can tick it off as being done.

Promising new books for everyone to be able to play then putting the new ones behind the paywall of VIP

Ruining entire series because you seemingly aren't invested in action packed and meaningful storylines anymore and are chasing lust filled storylines.

Having anything you percieve as negative removed off your social media's so it looks like everyone who plays, enjoys what you put out. When we don't.

The truth is, a lot of us are miserable. We can't afford VIP and we don't want lust filled storylines. But despite the amount of times this is stressed to you by us you don't listen. Our words fall on deaf ears and nothing is done to make the app BETTER, it's just made WORSE.

A lot of us have Tumblr blogs and pages on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram because we started playing choices and wanted to share our love for the app/game.

But now so many of us are leaving because you dropped sequels for Most Wanted, Hero, Ride-or-Die and It Lives Anthology, which is what they were waiting for.

Nightbound, Platinum, Distant Shores, Desire & Decorum and The Elementalists could all have had one more book each, they were even requested but those requests where ignored with no real explanation as to why you wouldn't do more for these books/series. You just finished them with potential to go a little further/loads of plot holes or once again cancelled the series.

There's still loads of us who would LOVE to post Choices related content on the blogs and pages we made for your app, but we just can't anymore.

Personally as a fanfiction writer, since about September last year I've been finding it hard to gain the motivation to finish works I have in progress or start new ones that I had planned because the app is taking such a negative turn for so many that many of the fanfiction I wrote/wanted to write, is dying or practically dead. People don't want to read it because the book or series was partly ruined for them through the app with the actions you decided to take.

I would so LOVE to produce more fanfiction for the stories you write for us, to give others what they wish could have happened but didn't. And I can't. I can't because it's no longer received well because people, your players, ARE LOSING INTEREST in the app.

Promising new books then putting them behind a paywall, cancelling beloved series with no true explanation as to why, not giving standalones that are written with ending that could go into a sequel, that sequel.

These are all really, really (and excuse my language here, but...) shitty ass moves.

Time and time again I see posts that sum up what to thunk about doing/what to do, if you wish to draw players in and keep them. But again, they are ALL SEEMINGLY IGNORED.

If this pattern continues I do see the company going under. No matter how much merch you sell, how expensive you make VIP, diamonds and keys to try and make money to keep the lights on and make great artwork for the app. Eventually everyone will grow tired of this pattern and pixelberry studios will die out.

I've spoken on this myself 2 or 3 times now, maybe 4. And I'll keep speaking on it as and when I feel compelled to or like I need to, but what's been happening over the past year and a half/two years, has GOT to stop really soon, or I don't see pixelberry going beyond 15-20 years.

[adorethedistance]

British. Handsome. Charming. - Harry Styles x Reader Retail!AU

Sorta requested.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive situations, I say titties like once

Words: 2108

Summary: When your coworker calls out and leaves you alone for a graveyard shift, you unintentionally enlist the help of a certain British, handsome, and charming retail employee from next door.

A/N: Hello this is my piece for @meetmeinfleetwood​ ‘s “to lovers” fic challenge! I put my ‘to lovers’ trope as Coworkers Harry and Y/n but I’m kind of riffing off of that trope because I wanted to do employees at different stores in the same section of the mall.

“So, Ziva just called out...” I hear my manager Kelly break the news from behind me. A groan threatens to escape my lungs but I fight the urge as best as possible to save face in front of customers. This is the third time Ziva’s called out of her graveyard shift in the past two weeks. Tonight, we were supposed to unpack the new shipment of holiday tees, gag gifts, and decorations. On a normal night, I can handle floor set by myself, but the added challenge of holiday items and displays is a different story.

“If I take another lunch right now, I can stay and help with the floor set.”

“No,” I wave her off, already dreading the exhaustion that is bound to set in, “Go home. You’ve already done your full eight, I can fly solo for tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go before I regret letting you!” Kelly smiles with the tip of her tongue peaking through her teeth. She thanks me for freeing her and I finish straightening the last of the yellow champion hoodies on the rack in front of me.

“The boxes are on the left side in the backroom.” Backroom… got it.

Working at Tilly’s was supposed to be my high school job. At the end of Junior year, I opted for a minimum wage position to earn some extra spending money. If I’d known I would be attending the most local university in this godforsaken town, I would’ve picked a better gig; one that pays more. Or at least one that doesn’t schedule me from 7:30PM to 3AM.

The store closes at ten but the other four ish hours are for rearranging the entire floor layout. I have to redistribute the table full of graphic tees strategically around the store to make room for the holiday items we just received. With someone else’s help I could expect to be finished by 12:30. Maybe 1. Ziva calling out wasn’t part of the plan however, so I don’t expect to be finished early at all. If anything, I might have to rush to finish before my shift ends.

Not to mention I have a prose analysis final draft due tomorrow by midnight. Ziva better have some damn good excuses when she gets back.

Readjusting the waistband of my favorite jeans against my body, I head to the dressing rooms to double check for any stragglers. Upon finding myself alone, I go lock the front doors and flick off the glowing “open” sign in the front window. Hopefully time will fly faster than it has since I got here. I should’ve asked Kelly to grab me a coffee or a coke to get me through the rest of the shift. Maybe I should do some coke to get me through the rest of the shift.

Okay. What did Kelly say?

Backroom... Was that all? I hesitantly prop the storeroom’s door with the small, tan, rubber wedge before trying to take in the overwhelming mess of the backroom. The room has painfully bright overhead LED lights illuminating my path; the brightness is mirrored off the polished concrete floors under my feet. Considering there’s no holiday bullshit directly in front of me, Kelly must have given me more directions than just ‘backroom’. Graphic tees, sunglasses, jewelry. Nothing.

In my most goddamn genius idea yet, I search the top of the self of the storeroom to see the holiday boxes sealed and intact. Lovely. I can graze the surface of the top shelf with my fingertips just enough to get them dusty, but not enough to pull down any boxes.

Fuck.

This is what we have a ladder for, but we lent it out to the Zara next door. I don’t know what time they close but intuition tells me it's soon. Figuring I have nothing to lose, I dash out of the back room and unlock the front door to round the corner into Zara. Right as I exit the store, I run into someone hard enough to lose my balance, but not hard enough to take the other person down, thank god.

“Woahhh, you alright there?” British.

I look up to the face of the person I collided with. Handsome.

“I’m so sorry, I need to get to Zara.”

“I’m afraid you’re too late for that.” The handsome stranger’s statement catches me off guard and the fog of my rushed mindset disappears. Charming.

“What?”

“Jus’ locked up, I’m afraid.” I look at the completely dark storefront, and then back at the stranger. His gleaming green eyes catch mine and, cliché-ly, I’m rendered breathless by the exquisite nature of his face. Employee.

“You work at Zara,” I state dumbly.

“That, I do. And you work…?” Dropping my eyes to my worn work shoes, I’m suddenly overwhelmingly shy about working at Tilly’s.

“Tilly’s, next door. We lent you guys our step ladder and I need it back.”

“Shit,” the man smiles softly, nervously scratching the back of his neck. “I have the key to the store, but I don’t have the key to the supply closet where we kept it.”

“Dammit.” When I pull out my phone to check the time, I groan at the loss of another ten minutes. “By any chance do you guys conveniently have a step ladder that isn’t in an inaccessible closet?” The beautiful man laughs at my question and shakes his head no.

“We don’t, but I am pretty tall, maybe I could help?”

“You’re not that tall.”

“Taller than you.” My teasing is cut short by the man’s quip and I lead him into the store with conviction.

“Basically, I’m supposed to reconfigure the entire floor layout around the table for all the holiday merch, and the shipment came in but someone brilliantly placed them on the top shelf of the back room.”

“Which is why you need the step ladder from the closet that I can’t open. Gotcha.”

“If you could just get those three boxes from the top shelf right there that’d be wonderful.” After clocking the boxes in question, he nods wordlessly, and slips off his nice coat, no doubt a piece from the store next door. Underneath, he’s wearing a grey button up of which he begins rolling up the sleeves to. The action made me stop breathing for a second. His forearms are littered with tattoos of various drawings, one in particular catching my eye.

It’s a two dimensional mermaid figure with no seashell-bra, her skin transitioning into scales only after exposing her pubic bone. In the fluorescent lighting of the store, it’s clear as day that this is quite possibly the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. What’s he doing working at an outlet mall?

Zoning back in, I see he’s already hard at work. With a box no doubt full of gag gifts on his shoulder, he speaks again.

“I’m Harry by the way.”

I return the gesture and he smiles when he hears my name.

“Pretty.”

Returning his attention to the second box, he reaches up to slide the box closer to the edge of the shelf. When he does so, the hem of his grey shirt rides up to reveal a tiny strip of his toned abdomen, where two mirrored stems of fern leaves are tattooed in strikingly black ink.

I blink quickly a few times to redirect my focus, and divert my attention to the floor where he’s set the first box. This leads me to notice the brown suede chelsea boots he’s wearing. Black coat, grey shirt, brown shoes. Interesting.

“Oh shit!” I hear him mutter in a hushed voice. Looking up to the top of the shelf, I see that the last box has already been opened. Harry is balancing it between both limbs, his shoulder, and his head, but any movement would cause the contents of the box to fall out.

I rush forward to help. Moving the flaps of the box back over the top, I reach across Harry’s body to move them. Then, to keep them shut I place one palm on top of the seam, and use the other hand to support the bottom of the box. It isn’t until I stop moving that I notice the position I’ve put us in. I’m reaching up as far as I can to secure the top of the box which has placed the entire front side of my body to the back of his. I’m painfully aware of how my hips are pressed against his ass, and he must be painfully aware of the way my titties are pressed against his upper back.

“I’m gonna move backwards so it’s off the shelf. Just hold the top in place until I have it right side up again, yea?” I nod dumbly in response before realizing he can’t see me.

“Yeah, got it.” And with that he begins to back up little by little, moving at a pace slow enough for me to consistently adjust. The box is almost intact, but I’ve run out of space from standing behind Harry, and I have to maneuver myself around him whilst keeping the box shut. I cringe before doing what I have to do, and shuffling around the side of Harry’s body, my frontside pressed against him the entire time.

Finally, it’s over and we can set the box down on top of the other two. Harry stands up straight again and dusts off his hands. He adjusts his jeans, pulling them back up his hips, and I have to keep myself from staring once more.

“Anythin’ else I can do for you?”

“I don’t think so? That’s pretty much all the heavy lifting I have to do tonight.” He nods understandingly and… dare I say disappointed? I’m probably just projecting.

“Are you alone tonight?”

“Yeah, my coworker called out, but it’s fine. My boss Kelly got most of the work done earlier when she unpacked a lot of the boxes and folded the shirts into piles, so…”

“I could help.”

“You don’t need to do that. You’re already off and I’m sure you’re exhausted and-”

“I want to.” I guess I wasn’t projecting.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. That way you can go home earlier.” His smile is soft and lopsided until we connect eyes, in which case it brightens to reveal his pearly teeth. I fall shy under his gaze and avert my eyes to the concrete floor below us. My cheeks are radiating at about 1000° and I hope he doesn’t notice.

“Thank you,” I say, more flustered than I would have liked. Why am I getting so nervous? He’s just a retail employee at Zara.

A gorgeous employee at Zara.

“I don’t mind staying back... Spending more time with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Since I already know what you do for a living, what are your hobbies?” He ignores my question.

“I don’t have much time for hobbies. I’m only part-time while I’m in uni.”

“No way, what are you studying?”

I proceed to tell Harry all about my major and my career aspirations post-graduation and post-retail. I enjoy telling people about my dreams and yet, Harry’s the first person I’ve met in a long time that’s shown any interest in me and my dreams. The way he nods attentively despite having to fold misconstrued t-shirts and holiday sweaters, ignites a fire in my stomach that warms my heart. They way he asks hyper specific, prompting questions to learn more about my plans contrasts the fire inside me by sending chills down my spine.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are your dreams?” Harry stops folding for a moment and exhales a conflicted sigh.

“I’m not too sure at the moment. I’m content at Zara for the moment, and I haven’t decided what’s next. I do write music though.”

“You do?”

“A bit, yeah.”

“What kind of music?” He stops to think again, a bit less conflicted than before.

“It’s like, indie-folk-pop-rock ish.”

“Indie-folk-pop-rock ish?” I can’t contain the laughter spilling from my lips over the mountain of folded t-shirts.

“Yeah. A good bit of variety, really.”

“Well, it’s nice you have something to be passionate about.”

“Judging by how you talked about your dreams for an hour, I wouldn’t say I’m as passionate as you are about your studies.”

“Passion isn’t a competition. It’s what moves you forward as an individual.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh at me.

“Okay, Gandhi.”

“Hush! I’m allowed to be philosophical.” His laugh draws into a closed-mouth smile, from humor to an adoration of sorts.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” I unintentionally mirror his affectionate smile.

“Promise?”

***

A/N: This was absolutely one of those fics that, the longer I stared at it, the more I hated it and cut it down so here’s what’s remaining before I destroyed the whole thing. It’s def a puff piece and not an in depth fic but nuance is not my friend right now so, sorry about it :(

Taglist: @curlybrownhairedboys​ @meetmeinfleetwood​

[1ddotdhq]

🍌Wed 2 Dec ‘20💚

Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo Rumors by Making EVEN MORE Banana Innuendos part TWO

Good morning/evening/night to Harry’s post and Harry’s post ONLY! (Okay that’s not true but it was definitely a highlight of my day). In case people haven’t seen it yet, it’s Harry in a light blue custom made suit putting a penis banana in his mouth. The picture is captioned “Bring Back Manly Men” so take a suck on THAT Candace Owens! It was only one of many great pictures in his variety shoot (including another, um, fruity picture of him biting into a pomegranate okay Persephone we get it), but Harry did indeed choose That One to post on This, the day after banana necklace dickscourse, BLESS. Harry’s interview was a little more in depth than they have been in the past, touching upon his feelings on race (“Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music. There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change”), as well as his tattoos (the only time he regrets them is in the DWD makeup chair), his love of reading, fashion and art, his exercise routine (Kid Harpoon couldn’t keep up!),  and his feelings on success and acclaim (“It’s never why I do anything...it's always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff...Fans are the best A&R”). 

The problems arose - as they so often do - when One Direction was mentioned. The article said that “The proof [of the band’s benefits] is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members- Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles- each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond”. Leaving aside the bad math (that's 4 people!) one name, of course, is notably missing: Louis has in fact enjoyed quite a lot of success both with Walls (remember when his album went #1 on iTunes in the UK AND the US literally 2 months ago?) and his pre-Walls singles like “Back To You” and “Just Hold On”. It got worse because the author tried to back up her claim with Harry’s quote, “When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band...but we loved being in the band...I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it”. By linking her own words with Harry's quote she made it seem as though Harry said it to agree with her biased take, which we'd know he didn't even if we hadn't heard him say this exact quote without that slant multiple times before. Fans were quick to point out both to the author and to Variety that they were wrong (to describe the reaction mildly), and the author rather than fixing the mistake, doubled down and began blocking fans. Plenty of people were quick to say that of course HSHQ and Harry had approved this content, despite more knowledgeable fans trying to be heard protesting that that is not how it works. (Remember how just recently Vogue got Harry’s whole ass FAMILY situation wrong and it was not corrected until after print, for example?) In fact, even the magazine didn't really proofread this- the print version of the article is different and says, “The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members - Styles, Malik and Horan”, effectively erasing both Louis AND Liam. It's an annoying take either way, but it's one the author more than likely picked up by doing her research on harrie twitter, not on orders from Jeff.

And because we DO NOT STAND FOR LILO ERASURE ON THIS BLOG, let’s talk about Liam’s Web Summit panel! It was 25 minutes of Liam and Marian Dicus (VP of Spotify) being interviewed about the current and future state of the music industry. Both of them, of course, noted that things had changed very quickly in their careers back at the beginning of lockdown, and how it had seemed surreal, at first, but that Liam had found that the way he was operating now (with Veeps and Tik Tok and Instagram lives) had made his platform a two way interaction with his fans. “For a long time I've been living in a dream world where I thought I was speaking with my fans but really I was just talking at them whereas we as artists ask a lot of rhetorical questions... I wanted to start a conversation”. Marian discussed how engaging fans differently WAS one of the most difficult things to puzzle out at the beginning, but that as months have passed, it seems artists like Liam have found a viable virtual future in the music industry (Liam tells us that he's been doing “stadium size shows” on Veeps which is an exciting clue about the mystery of how many tickets they're selling). They also went into the way music trends change as a response to social and political occurrences, how comfort songs gave way to protest songs this summer. Liam said, “People want their artists to have an opinion nowadays it's not that we can stay out of the conversation anymore-- and nor do we feel that we should in many places-- but for me it's a fine line because I realize what I do for people is an escape, people don't want things rammed down their throats every day and news messages from me about things that they don't want to hear about if they've come to listen to music, so its a real fine line that we kind of teeter on”. And about his opening acts, he acknowledges that his fanbase are mostly young women (based on the data breakdowns he gets from his team), and so he feels a responsibility to mentor young female artists in the industry so that more people like his fans have a voice. In an interview full of really fascinating music and technical discussions, this remained my favorite moment from Liam. Just like we won’t erase HIM, he refuses to erase US! And let's not forget our Liam alarm of the day-- it starts out absolutely adorable (“good moooorning!”), is hilarious in that apparently he just rambled completely unscripted and then they awkwardly cut it into 25 parts, but today's installment is frankly not relaxing! “only 23 sleeps til christmas have you done your shopping are you prepared” excuse me Liam YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT. The promised relaxing sleep story affirmations are still 'coming soon'-- hurry up please I need them to decompress after that alarm!

Now for a lightning round of epic proportions: DWD darling pictures and vids keep comin’ and Harry and Florence are both looking GORGEOUS as Jack and Alice,  after the Variety shoot dropped ‘THE CAPTION’, ‘BRING BACK MANLY MEN’, and ‘LOUIS IS SUCCESSFUL’ trended worldwide on twitter, Tan France said “yes please” to Harry's banana post, Harry reiterated that London was home and he didn’t want to be in LA for longer than he needed to,Variety has its virtual show tomorrow at 5 pm PST so see you there! Veeps is sending out emails promoting Louis’ show to people who bought LP show tickets, fans have already started to receive their Louis Tomlinson Live From London merch, Trinity College in Dublin’s Law society presented Niall with an award for, uh, his Irishness, I guess? (Just kidding, it’s for “his incredible talent and work ethics which is famously underscored by a distinct humility despite unthinkable success”). It looks like he will be giving a talk when he’s presented with it, and I’m honestly really interested to see what it’s all about - is he...gonna be talking to law students? Idk but tune in on December 7th at 12 pm GMT to find out!

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 9th of June 2021

This is speculation only

Cards drawn 9th of June, 2021

Question: What is Meghan planning to do about the negative reaction to her baby name?

Interpretation: Meghan is desperately looking for a way out of the situation.

Card One: The Eight of Swords. This is a card of being very stressed, and this is what Meghan is feeling right now. The card shows Orestes trapped in a circle of swords, with the Furies on one side and Apollo on the other, and he does not know what to do to escape. Meghan is in the same position as Orestes. She is trapped by her own vindictive action, with public opinion (the Furies) on one side, voicing their disapproval of her actions, and the BRF (Apollo) on the other, saying that the palace will not let her get away with her lies about them giving permission for the use of the name.

Meghan can not escape the fury of public opinion. Everything she has tried (Lili is a tribute to Doria via my nickname Flower, I had permission to use the name) has failed, becoming one more sword to pin her in place under the merciless gaze of the public backlash. Even worse, the palace has spoken out against her, informing people that despite her claims she did not have permission to use the name 'Lilibet'. She is trapped in a situation of her own making, with every action she tries to make herself look better backfiring on her. She is very stressed and acting out of desperation, trying to escape the consequences of her actions.

Card Two: The King of Cups. This is the card of a water sign person, particularly a Scorpio, and here it is coming across as Prince Charles. The card is behind the figure of Apollo on the Eight of Swords card, so I think the rebuttal by the palace might have been the work of Prince Charles. Whether it was or not, Meghan will be blaming Prince Charles for this public outing of her as a liar, and she may take aim at him in her subsequent actions as a result of this belief.

Card Three: The Two of Pentacles. This card shows Daedalus starting out on his role as a craftsman. He has a few projects on his bench and is holding two more. He has to decide what to do next, where to invest his time and effort for the most reward. The Two of Pentacles is a card of balance, of deciding where to invest your time, energy and resources. You have to look at your goals and priorities and decide if all areas of your life are in balance, or if you need to spend more or less time on one area.

Meghan has not done this. She is out of balance. She has let her cruelty dominate her actions, and as a result the dominant topic with respect to the birth is her vindictive choice of name. She has shot down all her 'we are still close to the BRF' PR and put holes in her innocent victim PR, as she has shown that she is not a victim but rather an antagonist. She has put her time and energy into 'clapping back' at the BRF, and now she is facing the result of her investment.

The card is also showing that Meghan's perspective is out of balance. She is seeing this in a way that is out of proportion to the action and the results. Instead of taking a step back, taking a deep breath, and viewing this from a practical perspective (what can I do to calm the situation down), she has invested herself in the perspective that she is right and with the right PR the public will applaud her decision (as per her 'Lili=Flower=tribute to Doria' PR, to try and put her decision on the right side of public opinion).

The Two of Pentacles can also be a card of being over-committed, in some or all of the areas of time, energy, and money. I am wondering if Meghan has over-committed herself in some way and now can not meet her debts and/or do what she has promised.

Card Four: The Seven of Wands. This card shows fighting between the followers of Jason and the followers of his uncle, the usurper king who wants Jason dead. This represents conflict between Meghan and her supporters (the usurper king) and the supporters of HM the Queen and the BRF (Jason, the rightful king).

Instead of bringing things back into balance, as per the Two of Pentacles card, Meghan is going to create even more conflict. She is not going to let this go, she is going to double down and create as much noise and anger as she can in her attempts to prove that she is right. Wands can be the suit of PR, and this battle will be fought through PR via media articles, twitter bots, celebrity statements etc as well as more subtle means, such as how an article is written, what is stated and what is implied, and so on.

Clarifier One: The Ace of Cups. The conflict is going to be over her pregnancy/birth/baby

Clarifier Two: The Three of Pentacles. This is a card of working with others to achieve a goal. Meghan is going to get people to help her in stirring up conflict. I don't know if the people will say yes, but she is going to try and get other powerful people on her side.

Clarifier Three: The Hierophant. This card represents institutions, and here it stands for the BRF. Meghan is going to attack the BRF over this issue, either covertly or overtly.

Card Five: The Seven of Pentacles. This card shows Daedalus, who is working for King Minos, being approached by Queen Pasiphae and offered money to enable an act that will be a betrayal of her husband. Daedalus has to decide whether he will continue to work on his current project, or betray his employer and take on the new project.

This is a card of taking the long view and deciding what would best suit your final goal. Should you continue investing time and energy into your current path/project, or would a new one serve you better? In this deck it can also be about dodgy acts - do you continue on with your current work, or do you take on a project that enables betrayal and unfaithfulness?

Coming after the Seven of Wands, this tells me that Meghan is invested in creating conflict and she is not above using underhanded mean to do so. She is going to put her resources into stirring up conflict and she will not see much return from it. The return on her investment will be poor. People will not believe the PR.

Underlying Energy One: The Ace of Pentacles. This can be a new baby, or it can be a financial opportunity, or it can mean you will receive some money. Here it stand for both the new baby and for money. The name Meghan has given her new baby is the reason why the public has turned against her, but that reaction also has implications for her plans to merch her baby. I think some offers may have dropped away after the baby name was announced. This card is sitting directly under the King of Cups, so Meghan may have asked for more money from Prince Charles because of the new baby (if so, I think she was refused).

Underlying Energy Two: The Three of Swords. This card shows Queen Clytemnestra and her lover killing her husband, King Agamemnon. It is a card of heartbreak, of a painful situation coming to a painful conclusion. Taken with the card after it, it is referring to a death of some sort, and taken with the card before it, it is referring to the death of the baby. Meghan knows that this news will release a tide of sympathy in her favour. She is waiting to use it at the best possible moment for her aims. Underneath all her actions is the thought 'they will be sorry when I release this news!'.

Underlying Energy Three: Death. This continues the energy of the second card, the Three of Swords. Death can be a metaphorical death, the natural end of a cycle, or a physical death. Here it refers to the physical death of a baby (the Ace of Pentacles). Either the baby has died, or it is sick and is going to die. The heartbreak of the Three of swords card is going to result in a death.

Conclusion: Meghan is currently very stressed. Nothing she is doing is turning the tide of negative PR. She blames Prince Charles for the palace rebuttal, and is completely out of balance - she is not seeing things in proportion at all. Instead of doing something to regain balance, she has decided to go all out to create conflict with the BRF and she is not above using underhanded means to do so.

Underlying all this is her child. She knows that her child is either dead or may die soon, and she is keeping this knowledge to use as a final blow to the BRF, one that will show her as the victim and them as the villain for fighting with a new mother with a sick baby. She is also keeping it as a final blow that will erase negative public opinion and give her lots of sympathy.

Edit: For those wondering if it is HMTQ that passes instead of Lili - HMTQ may die in the middle of this conflict, as I have seen her passing sometime in June or July, but with the Ace of Pentacles followed by the other two cards, the death and heartbreak are connected to the Ace of Pentacles, and that is coming through as the baby. We are probably looking at two deaths in the next two months - one of HMTQ, and one of the baby (although I hope the baby is just sick and recovers, and I don't want HMTQ to die either).

[thebeeduo]

Ranboo: That's fine. That was on the ground by the way

Tubbo: I copped (the merch)

Ranboo: Wow, look at this. That is incredibly

Tubbo: I copped the merch! I'm not on brand

Ranboo: You too can cop the merch September 5th! *thumbs up*

Tubbo: *thumbs up*

Ranboo: That was good. That was a good transition

Tubbo: *laughs*

Ranboo: That was a good (transition)

[Lag]

Tubbo: (I did) I fixed it..

Ranboo: You fixed it? Ok, that's good

Tubbo: ..when I was inside. It does this weird thing where it goes grey..

Ranboo: Yeah?

Tubbo: ..every now and then

Ranboo: Okay..

Tubbo: That's because that thing got wet once and now it just keeps going grey randomly

Ranboo: Well, we hate it so.. *mouth fart noise* Maybe it was the tree demon

Tubbo: We don't hate me. That cost me a lot of money!

Ranboo: Maybe it was the tree demon the whole time

Tubbo: The tree demon is messing with the stream?

Ranboo: People are saying that the camera is still glitching. Are they just straight up lying?

Tubbo: That's cringe!

Ranboo: Are they just straight up lying?

Tubbo: I'll go see.. Um..

Ranboo: "It's Lani"? Lani is actually sitting right there so..

Tubbo: Uh.. Shake your hands around lots

Ranboo: *waves at camera* Greetings! I don't know what wrong with the camera

Tubbo: It's fine!

Ranboo: It's fine?

Tubbo: Yeah

Ranboo: You sure?

Tubbo: Yeah

Ranboo: Alright. Alright, "We're good now"? "It's fine now"? That's good. That's good. Alright. Subscribe for- Ok, whatever. Alright, mkay. What are- Ok, wait wait wait. We can use the ghost hunting app

Tubbo: I don't want to do ghost hunting

Ranboo: No let's see what words we can get. Let's see what words we can get with this

Tubbo: Ahh.. Can I talk to it?

Ranboo: I mean that's not the talking one

Tubbo: Hello Ranboo phone!

Tubbo and Ranboo: "Designate"

Ranboo: It actually changed as soon as it got to your hands

Tubbo: What am I designating bro?

Ranboo: What are you designating? It just gave us the words "designate" and I just don't know what that means

Tubbo: "Designated driver"? Am I the designated driver?

Ranboo: You cannot drive

Tubbo: Is this because I don't drink?

Ranboo: You just cannot drive

Tubbo: Yo, how ghosty are you? *puts phone to Ranboo's neck*

Tubbo: *Ranboo receives a notification* Oh. Well..

Ranboo: You got a notification as soon as you did that. So pretty ghosty I think. Alright, what's my ghost word?

Tubbo: Maybe if I just flip it upside down

Ranboo: No no no no, what's my ghost word? Let's put it, like, on me. What's my ghost word?

Tubbo: I'm designated *thumbs up*

Ranboo: Give me my ghost word. Give it to me

Tubbo: I'm designated

Ranboo: Give me my ghost word. It's not giving me my ghost word. You suck!

Tubbo: You're just not as cool as I am

Ranboo: You suck! and I hate you!

Ghost app: *growling/whispering noises*

Tubbo: *scared* Why did it just roar and why did it just get windy?

Ranboo: "Along"

Tubbo: You're "along", I'm "designate"

Ranboo: "Designate along". What does that mean?

Tubbo: Designate along..

Ranboo: At first I thought it said "among" and I was about to lose my mind. I was so excited for a second there

Tubbo: I really want to go inside now. Can we stop playing now?

Ranboo: No no no no no! Ok, here, let's use the radio one, alright? Let's use the radio one. Oh, I immediately get a negative.. sign

Tubbo: No, that's because I flipped off the ghost

Ranboo: Flip off the ghost some more, I wanna see what happens

Tubbo: Noo, no I don't want to. I feel like I've got spiders all over me. Ow

Ranboo: Come on! I want to be the one who got possessed, why is it you! Gosh darn it!

Tubbo: I'm not possessed

Ranboo: You sure? You're feeling spiders on yourself. That's kinda.. you know..

Tubbo: Maybe there's just spiders in your dress

Ranboo: I don't know! Let's start another seance thing. Let's do that, ok? Let's do it

Tubbo: *whining*

Ranboo: What is your name or are you here, answer one of those, I do not know.. Let us see

Ranboo: Are you here? Why are there so many bugs on the pentagram. There's like an unearthly amount of- There's actually so many.. Get the bugs off the [unintelligible]

Tubbo: Because bugs are attracted to light

Ranboo: Are you here?

Ranboo: I don't- It's just not moving anymore. You have angered it a lot

Tubbo: Nooo, I'm sorry

Ranboo: You realise as soon as you said it, it, like, turned it off

Ranboo: Do something! Please! Alright, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take some recommendations from chat on what shall we do. Let take some recommendations on chat, alright?

Tubbo: I don't want to..

Ranboo: "Among us". "Tubbo is possessed let's go"

Tubbo: I'd better not- If I'm possessed dude, I'm kicking you out of my house. Go somewhere else. Go get a hotel, I don't care

Ranboo: Dude, if you get possessed, that gives me ever more reason to stay because that means I get to live with a possessed person which is awesome!

Tubbo: Noo. If I get possessed, I wanna be left alone! I wanna be left alone!

Ranboo: Which is awesome. Alright, "Say goodbye to the demon"? No, I want the demon here. I wanna fight it. I wanna fight the demon. "Tell the demon to buy merch". So true, I love the VIPs in my chat.

Tubbo: I.. am.. unhappy

Ranboo: "Put salt"? *gasp* We should put salt on him.. and see what happens

Tubbo: No

Ranboo: Hmm... Hmm... "Ever since it counted down it stopped working". That is true, you did kinda..

Tubbo: I broke it

Ranboo: You did kinda- "Ask it to scratch one of you". Scratch one of us! Scratch me! Scratch me! That would be awesome

Tubbo: *punches Ranboo*

Ranboo: That was just a punch and that hurt!

Tubbo: Good. I'm not having a good time

Ranboo: Ow! O-Ow... That a-Ow.. wow

Tubbo: I mean, to be fair, it hurt me more than you. I punched with my thumb on the inside of my hand

Ranboo: Oh that was just your fault

Tubbo: Ow.. Yeah

Ranboo: Scratch me! Scratch me! Fight me, actually! Punch me, perhaps. But not like that *points at Tubbo* You notice how as soon as I asked the demon to harm me, you punched me? *staring at Tubbo* You know w- *camera glitches and cuts off audio*

Tubbo: I don't wanna be possessed

Ranboo: "Get a professional"? I am a professional. Right? Right?

Tubbo: I need holy water

Ranboo: *audio cuts off* What do you want me to do?

Tubbo: *laughs* Boil the hell out of some water *camera and audio glitch again*

Ranboo: What do you want me to do? People are saying "lag" *stream lag*

Ranboo: Ok, that worked. That actually worked as soon as I said that. I am so powerful. Ahh man

Tubbo: I don't wanna be a demon!

Ranboo: Well.. kinda too late for me at least

Tubbo: I don't wanna be a demon!

Ranboo: How do you think I became so popular on content creation in such little time?

Tubbo: By using the- No I can't- I'm under an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) I can't say..

Ranboo: Stop saying that I'm an industry plant and just say-

Tubbo: You're an industry plant!

Ranboo: I would rather be called a demon than an industry plant

Tubbo: You're an industry plant

Ranboo: I'm not an industry plant. That is not true. That is not true

Tubbo: Oh grey screen is back

Ranboo: It went grey again? I'm gonna- Ok we're fine

Tubbo: It only does it for like two seconds. Relax, holy crap

Ranboo: But the thing is though, like-

Tubbo: What's that Harry Styles song about the watermelon? *starts dancing*

Ranboo: What does that have anything- I'm explaining to you how I'm a demon

Tubbo: Maybe the demon likes songs. Wait, I wanna play a song to the demon

Ranboo: Oh wait! Yeah let's play a song to the demon

Tubbo: Wait, no, let me pick! I wanna pick one

Ranboo: Let's play a song to the demon

Tubbo: Um.. Ok! Does the demon like "Airplane Mode" *jamming*

Ranboo: I have something. Now, here, ok. You've got yours. Now let me play my song to the demon. *white noise*

Tubbo: *starts singing Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas* When the beat drops, gotta get that that that that. Boom boom boom, gotta get that. Boom boom boom gotta get that *dancing*

Ranboo: So how come you enjoy this? Why do you suddenly enjoy this when I'm playing the music that's meant for the demon?

Tubbo: Stooop! I was just joking

Ranboo: The evidence is piling up, ladies and gentlemen. Tubbo is possessed, I think

Tubbo: I am not!

Ranboo: The evidence is kinda piling up quite a bit actually

Tubbo: Leave me alone! I'm not possessed!

Ranboo: Quite a good amount!

Tubbo: Stop saying I'm possessed

Ranboo: So how come you keep doing things that the demon- that I'm asking the demon to do

Tubbo: I literally just did a TikTok dance

Ranboo: Yeah, 'cause I said that the demon would like the music

Tubbo: The demon wouldn't have done that. The demon would've not "hit the woah" or the weird Q&A thing (ref: The "Questions I get Asked" TikTok dance)

Ranboo: Who do you think- Who do you think invented those things? Demons on TikTok

Tubbo: *gasp* What?!

Ranboo: Yeah, that's right. TikTok is run by demons

Tubbo: TikTok demons? Tik-emons?

Ranboo: TikTok is run by demons

Tubbo: I'm not possessed dude. They're all saying that I'm possessed

Ranboo: You might be.. You could be

Tubbo: I'm not possessed

Ranboo: No, out of either of us, honestly, I would be the one to be possessed.. Honestly.. I already am *stares at camera*

Tubbo: Heeughh.. I'm sus!

Ranboo: *does hands gestures* Yeah

Tubbo: This is comfy!

Ranboo: I mean, the thing- Wow so you're saying that my merch that comes out on September 5th is quite comfortable? Wow, what a great review from Tubbo himself!

Tubbo: Oh *facepalms* It also smells of sweat

Ranboo: No, it does not! I know it doesn't

Tubbo: *sniffs Ranboo's hoodie*

Ranboo: It does not

Tubbo: How sweaty are you? *keeps sniffing*

Ranboo: I'm not at all! He's just trying to slander me!

Tubbo: *intensely sniffing hoodie* It does smell like you though. Everything that you touch gets that "you" smell. It's kinda weird..

Ranboo: That's really really weird actually

Tubbo: Like..

Ranboo: I think you may be possessed honestly

Tubbo: No!

Ranboo: How do you have a sense of smell that does-

Tubbo: No, I'm not even kidding! Where you sit on my sofa, you make the area of my sofa where you slept smell like you, and I'm like *sniffs hoodie* Eugh!

Ranboo: *silent*

Tubbo: *pats Ranboo* No, you don't smell that bad. It's ok! There there

Ranboo: *moves arms away and stares at Tubbo*

Tubbo: I'm not a demon!

Ranboo: No, I'm not doing that because I think you're a demon. I'm doing that just because it's.. weird. Just incredibly weird

Tubbo: What? No.. Sympathy pats?

Ranboo: No sympathy pats

Tubbo: Oh..

Ranboo: No more

Tubbo: Oh I just got a text message from TommyInnit. All will be ok

Ranboo: That was in a group chat

Tubbo: Wait, who the hell is this?

Ranboo: That was in a group chat so..

Tubbo: Wait..

Ranboo: That was in a group chat.. That's kinda sad that you said you got a text from TommyInnit but it was just in a group chat. So that's kinda sad..

Tubbo: Do you know that number?

Ranboo: Nope!

Tubbo: Uh oh..

Ranboo: Anyway.. "Ask the demon if he likes the Dream SMP"? Will do. Do you like Dream SMP?

Tubbo: How big is your willy?

Ranboo: It said yes!

Tubbo: Did it actually?

Ranboo: The tree demon is a Dream SMP enjoyer! Woo! Welp, and now it's just spelling out words. "S" "T" "O" "P" "W" "H". "Stop while".. "Stop while you".. "Stop while you can"!

Tubbo: I.. really hate-

Ranboo: You would like that, wouldn't you? You wimp! You wimp!

Tubbo: *takes Ranboo's phone and throws it away* Knock that off! I hate this!

Ranboo: My phone... my phone!

Tubbo: Have my phone

Ranboo: You don't have demon apps on your phone!

Tubbo: I don't like it! It's being creepy!

Ranboo: What do you mean it's "being creepy"! I told y-

Tubbo and Ranboo: *stare at demon Ouija app's planchette moving on its own in fear*

Tubbo: *scared* Why is it going on its own?

Ranboo: It's going on its own

Tubbo: I just wanna leave. Can- I'm going to bed dude, it's past my bedtime. I'm honestly- I'm gonna go-

Ranboo: Can you at least grab me my phone?

Tubbo: Yeah.. I'm done

Ranboo: You're done? What do you mean you're done?

Tubbo: Why did it just say "No"? It said "no", I'm not done *scared*. I am done! Leave me alone!

Ranboo: You're not done. You're never done

[bitchesgetriches]

Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

Merch is back online

If you visited our Etsy shop in the last few months, you might’ve noticed the physical merch—tee shirts and coffee mugs and tote bags and such—wasn’t listed anymore. Basically, when lockdowns started, it caused a lot of disruption and delays on orders. Not wanting people to be stuck waiting for stuff, we decided to take it all offline, and only offer digital merch.

As of today, we’ve reactivated everything! But please keep in mind that there may still be delays, depending on what’s happening in the world! We appreciate your patience, if patience is indeed called for.

Visit Our Etsy Shop

Season one transcripts

Next, we wanted to let you guys know that we now have transcripts available for season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

We’re committed to making BGR as accessible as we possibly can. We know that some people can’t hear, or struggle to absorb information aurally, so transcripts were something we’ve always wanted to offer.

… But, you know, at the end of the day, we’re just two people! Transcribing and editing audio is time- and labor-intensive work, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it along with the fifteen million other things we have to do.

We were able to offer season one transcripts thanks entirely to A Purple Life, a peerlessly talented and wonderful fellow blogger who selflessly made it happen. (If you don’t already read her stuff, you’ve already disobeyed us, as we commanded you to in 10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now. And for that, we’re strongly considering smiting you.)

We’re incredibly thankful to Purple for her hard work on this. But we also feel strongly that this DESERVES to be paid work! So the release of season two transcripts is dependent on getting more Patreon donors to offset funding it.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

Season 1, Episode 7: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Season 1, Episode 10: “I Want a Pedigreed Dog. She Wants a Rescue Mutt. It Turned into a Fight… and the Fight Got Ugly.”

Season 1, Episode 11: “I Feel Cornered by a Friend Who Keeps Asking to Borrow Money.”

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

For transcripts, scroll to the bottom of each episode and click “episode transcript.” Or read them directly in the podcast player of your choice!

Podcast reviews

We also super wanted to thank all the people who’ve etched their names in blood upon the dusty pages of our dark grimoire written reviews for the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and other places!

We are beyond flattered by the kind things you guys have said about us. Like MoonPetalLily, who described us as “the snarky older sisters [they] wish [they] had.”

FunshineKelly said our “advice helped [them] land a $20k raise and a signing bonus without crying even a little bit.” GOOD! We don’t support tears in the workplace! Not even in the sanctity of your car parked way in the corner of the parking lot. Keep it together!

And God bless MelHubbs, who said, and I quote:

They’re prepared, and still relaxed; informative, and still light-hearted; comforting, and still sexual. It’s everything you could ever want in a podcast, in an internet personality, in your sisters-in-arms against the terrible war between capitalism and what humans actually need to survive & thrive. One of my favorite things about them is that they don’t have any corporate sponsors or ads, so you know what they’re saying is what they mean, not what their advertisers want them to say. If you’re able, support them on Patreon! If you’re not, listen to their podcast, take their advice to heart, reflect on your options, make your moves, then, with your newfound financial independence, become a patreon!

MelHubbs, you joyful sonnet!

Your review is so good that it reads suspiciously like something we paid you to write! But we’re too cheap for that—IT REAL!

Bitches Get Riches at the crossroads

All right. Time to level with you guys.

In keeping with 2020’s overarching theme (“everything is pure shit”), this year has become a real “shit or get off the pot” moment for the two of us.

Although I’m comfortable and doing fine, Piggy is still unemployed. And last week she received the last unemployment check she’s entitled to. It sucks. And it’s scary.

Being a partnership is awesome in almost every way. But one way that it sucks is that we have to earn double the amount of money to be truly profitable! (And no, before you ask, it’s not possible for us to only pay Piggy. Believe me, that was our original plan—but it turns out that’s not allowed in a 50/50 legal partnership. We must pay ourselves equally, or Uncle Sam will spank us. And he doesn’t do it in the sexy way—only the traumatic way!)

Piggy is doing okay for now. She has freelancing work, and an intact emergency fund. But understandably, anxiety and worry take their toll. She’s pushing through it, but it’s hard. Creativity and passion can’t thrive for long without some measure of safety and stability.

During these scary times, our Patreon community has been a lifeline. As more and more of you have joined us, it’s slowly crept up from grocery money to grocery and utility bill money! So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to those who’ve stepped up and joined.

But we’re kind of at a crossroads. Because of Piggy’s situation, we really need it to become “paying the mortgage” money. And it’s gotta get there pretty fast. Otherwise, it’s just not fair to ask Piggy to invest so much of her time in Bitches Get Riches, when she could be taking on higher paying freelancing work to keep herself afloat.

And trust me, you do not want a BGR that’s too Kitty-heavy. I am longwinded af, slowly losing my abilities to think and spell, and take every possible detour to inject disgusting sexual comments wherever they are least germane (although idk maybe you’re here for that).

Our new goal for ourselves, and you

With all of that in mind, we have a new goal: to produce season three of our podcast, we need 500 total Patreon donors.

Today we have… 294. So that’s, uhhhhh… a really ambitious goal!

It’s probably too ambitious. We’re probably gonna fail. Who cares, it’s 2020! The planet is on fire and god is already dead, so we have no reason not to give it our all!

We are leaving this in your hands. We—Piggy and I—believe that the world would be a better place if people could hear reliable, relatable financial wisdom funded by regular people, untainted by corporate sponsors with deep pockets who want us to push their capitalist crap upon you. And 294 of you have already demonstrated that you believe that too. Thank you, thank you, infinity thank yous to all of you who are already a part of our Patreon community. You are shining stars that smell faintly of vanilla.

For the rest of you: if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, please show us that you believe in it too. You can do that by joining us at the Bitches Get Riches Patreon.

We hope to be back soon for a third season. Until then, stay safe, stay sane, wear your masks, triple-check that you’re registered to vote, and save room for dessert. (What’s for dessert? So glad you asked—it’s the rich!)

For now, Bitches OUUUTTTTT!

Join the Bitches on Patreon

Join the Bitches on Patreon

[summonerscenarios]

Can I ask for a scenario where MC finds and takes care of a stray cat and brings it around with him causing some of the other feline transients(tezcatlipoca, macan, nomad, and sitri) to become jealous because the cat is possessive of MC and is getting attention. On another note thank you for creating this blog, it really is nice for you to continue doing something like this for others to enjoy and i hope you are enjoying it as well. (P.S, agyo probably glares at the cat from behind the couch)

I WAS SO WORRIED THAT I’D LOST THIS BECAUSE I SWEAR I ALMOST COULDN’T FIND IT BUT HERE IT IS!!! Thank you so much for liking my blog I’m having so much fun with it!! And I hope other people are having as much with it as well~! 

-----------

Tezcatlipoca

Honestly, you’re starting to get pretty fed up with how many times Tez tries breaking into your dorm through the window when you’ve got a perfectly good door to use (especially because you gave him a key, dammit). It’s something about ‘stealth’ or ‘a surprise attack’ but it’s seriously starting to grate on your nerves; so when you decide to bring the stray who you’ve been feeding and taking care of for the past few months home with you, you decide that the jaguar can find out about the new arrival the next time he tries to make an ‘impromptu visit’ in the middle of the night.

And sure enough that’s exactly how he gets to meet your cat. Usually the loud declaration he makes as he bursts through your (thankfully open) window is what wakes you up from your slumber, but this time it’s the sound of your cat hissing up a storm as it leaps from your bed to confront the ‘intruder’ while he’s half-way through the window. It’s enough of a surprise to Tez that the therian slides right off of the frame and hits the floor loud enough that you feel bad for the person living on the first floor. However, he’s quick to recover, and by the time you’re out of bed you’re standing between the two trying to get Tez to at least lower his voice before he wakes the neighbors as he glares over your shoulder at the protective feline, the latter of which purrs and rubs against your legs vying for your attention.

That should have been your first sign that things were going to be tense between the two, but you didn’t actually think that Tezcatlipoca would get jealous of your new kitty just because it was a tiny bit attached to you. Little do you know from that point forward what ensues is a full out war between the therian and your cat. Perhaps its due to the fact you’re so doting, or just because you feed it and give it a place to sleep, but your cat is ridiculously attached to you, but Tezcatlipoca isn’t about to let a possessive stray take up the space at his brother’s side that Tez had waiting so long to reclaim - if it’s a battle for you that this little kit wants, then he is more than prepared to show it who your true favorite is. Tez gets increasingly more petty in his attempts to lure your attention away from the cat, and considering that he’s pretty adept with tactics you’d imagine this would be fairly easy but it isn’t.

Tez tries to get a moment alone with you by closing the door behind him before the cat can enter, and not two minutes later it’s pawing at the door and meowing so loud that you hurry over to the door to let it in and warn Tez to check next time. He also attempts to pawn the cat off onto his subordinates for a few hours under the guise of a play-date and to get the cat used to company; and yet that plan backfires spectacularly when you start getting pictures of its ‘playdate’. Group photos of the Luchadores all fawning over your cat and giving it treats alongside videos of them jumping around and letting it leap between them as they perform - it’s clear that the feline has successfully won them over just as it had with you, and you’re soon distracted cooing over the messages much to the therian’s growing frustration.

The lightbulb finally goes off when you catch Tez glaring at the cat when he thinks you’re not looking like he’s trying to convey the words he can’t say to the little feline due to your presence. You’re laying with your back on the floor as the kitty drapes across your chest, hands running through its fur and rubbing its ears as you coo and shower the cat in affection and praises. Your cat is absolutely loving the affection, purring hard enough that it’s practically rumbling as it stretches out and pads at your face with its paws; Tez on the other hand is staring the cat down like it’s going to claw your face off and he’s just waiting for the moment to jump in and intervene. When you tilt your head back to look at him you catch his expression before he notices you’ve spotted him; you ask him what’s got him so miffed, but in the split second it takes for him to look in the opposite direction and insist nothing’s amiss you look between him, the cat, then him, then the cat again.

Then it clicks.

“Tez, you’re not...jealous are you?”

His reaction is just too good - the lack of verbal response makes you lift the cat off of you so that you can safely roll over and look directly at him, taking in the lowered ears and ruffled feathers as he looks away from you. Assuming that he’s just feeling left out with the attention you shuffle over to where he’s sitting and apologize for not giving him some time too in a cooing hum that’s pretty similar to the tone you use when you’re coddling the cat. He goes to complain, but the moment you lean over to start scritching a spot right behind his ears he chokes on the words, expression tensing for the brief moment it takes him to realize what you’re doing to him. 

Tezcatlipoca grumbles about underhanded tactics and how he won’t fall for them so easily even as he tilts his head up with a noise akin to a deep purr when you move your free hand to scratch just under his chin. At the forefront of your affection Tez almost has to laugh in triumph - of course you may lavish the little fluffy kit you’ve taken in with affection and praise, but you’ll always end up pouring your attention back onto him when it really counts. You’re pretty sure you catch his tail flickering languidly out of the corner of your eye as you pet him, but you don’t bring it up when it brushes up against your legs as you shuffle around to get a better angle to fuss him with. If the cat doesn’t try to make too much of a fuss and he keeps receiving your undivided attention like this, then Tez supposes that he can allow this kind of arrangement…

That is until the moment is interrupted when your cat promptly shoves itself between the two of you and turns it’s back to Tez so that you have to pull your hands away to look down at it. And just like that it’s back to square one, with Tez glaring daggers as the feline has the audacity to use his leg as height leverage to nuzzle its way into your arms, effectively regaining your attention as you turn back to fussing the cat - completely oblivious to the pointed stare-down the pair share when you’re not looking.

Macan

Taking in a stray for the first time you’d worried a lot about it wandering off or losing interest if it went outside, and the stories you had heard only heightened the worries you had about owning a cat. Turns out you didn’t have to worry at all, as the feline sticks to your side everywhere you go, even following you to school and sneaking its way into your classes even when you were sure you closed your dorm door - it was a running gag that where you went your new fluffy buddy was sure to follow, and it significantly eased your concerns as you gained a little more confident about taking it out with you. It even came with you when you went out to see friends, dropping by on the Berserker’s guild to catch up with your allies with your fuzzy companion in tow. Granted, it did in fact wander off from time to time, but rarely ever out of your direct line of sight. However, this time when you pull yourself away from a conversation with Andvari about merch revenue to check on your cat who’d been perched on the counter, only to find it missing from its spot and not in direct sight, you begin to panic. The main floor is thankfully empty of most of the visitors, with most people in the arena watching one of the fights and leaving the space mostly clear, but you still end up running circles around the room looking for the cat in question. Eventually, a familiar mewl catches your attention, followed by a sharp hiss and a growl that you recognize and you slide around the corner the moment you hear it.

Then you spot your cat, latched onto the Macan’s snout with both bearing their teeth and you nearly scream as you bolt over to pry the two felines away from each other. It takes a while to separate your cat and Macan, and you’re honestly flabbergasted that your kitty had such a wild reaction when up until this point you’d never had any of these problems before. Macan at least doesn’t seem entirely fussed about the sudden outburst - if anything he seems a bit entertained that your cat had the guts enough to try anything - but you still make a point to make sure his nose is okay, checking for any lasting claw marks as you apologize over and over.

From that point forward, it doesn’t take a genius to piece together that Macan and your kitty don’t entirely get along...well, that’s not exactly true. In the times where you’re doing your own thing and not focusing on the two of them, you notice that your cat has little qualms with sidling up to the bulky tiger therian and lounging all over him, and Macan doesn’t even shrug it off or push it away whenever the furball trots up to him looking for attention. It’s bizarre seeking the two of them actually getting along with each other, though you do have to laugh at how easily Macan’s able to pull your cat away when it starts getting too playful with his tail - it almost makes you wish you had a camera so that you could save these snippets. 

However, those moments only last about as long as it takes for either of them to notice that you’re paying attention; then your cat’s racing me over to your side kicking up a fuss until you relent and give the feline some well deserved pets. You honestly don’t know who’s more attached to you - as when your cat comes to curl up on your lap, meowing and pawing for your attention, chances are Macan’s right there alongside it, leaning up against your back and resting his head atop yours nosing in on whatever you’re doing. It’s cute, but frustrating when this happens right as you’re in the middle of doing something important - and yet you don’t have the heart to get either of the cats to budge.  (not that either of them actually would - you’ve now got two stubborn felines to deal with in your life, hope you’re ready.)

Nomad

Taking in a stray wasn’t your initial plan, but you definitely don’t regret it. You always came across the same cat on your way to and from school, and while you’d only stop for the occasional fuss and to give it some treats if you carried some with you, it didn’t take long before it started travelling with you as you made the walk. And then one day you got back to your home and the cat just...stuck around - and needless to say you just didn’t have the heart at that point to not take the cat in; how could you not? The fluffy feline needed a place to stay, and you were more than happy to have a new roommate in the form of the tiny cat. It takes a lot of trial and error to ease your new pet into its new life, taking your time to get it used to being around some of your friends so that it feels more comfortable coming over - and honestly, things go a lot better than you expected. Your cat warms up to just about everyone you’ve introduced easily, going in for pets or at least giving them a curious sniff before deciding whether it likes them or not; seeing how well it gets along with everybody you’ve introduced so far, you thought it was high time to introduce it to your favorite tiger detective - after all, you’re sure they’d get along just fine, right?

Your way of ‘introducing’ Nomad to your new kitty isn’t so much an introduction as it is you quite literally plopping the cat right into his lap the moment he sits down, looking up at him with an excitable smile and kneeling down beside him as you present the small cat to the exceptionally bigger cat. Your cat and him share a look, and you just about melt watching it purr and nuzzle up against Nomad’s jacket like you’ve seen it do with some of your other friends before - it looks like it’s taken a shine to him, which is honestly incredibly relieving after the initial worry that this introduction wasn't going to go as well as you’d hoped. What makes you even happier is that Nomad doesn’t seem to mind the cat either, leaning a hand down to give the kitty headpats as it preens and purrs under the action.

But then you turn away for a moment to check something on your phone, being pulled away by a message, and in that split second that you shift around to check your cat does a complete 180, just about hitting him square in the chest as it whips around and hops off of his lap to trot over to your side, meowing all the way until you turn around and focus your attention back onto him. What seals the deal is the warning noise that your cat makes as it turns back to face him, slinking into your lap with a pointedly sharp stare before it turns its attention back to you.

It’s not exactly jealousy, per se, because Nomad’s been around the block long enough to not get hung up over you doting over your cat and giving it a lot of your attention - though at the same time he gets pretty embarrassed realizing that what he does get hung up on is the fact that most of your attention is pulled away from him when you are together. When he realizes that’s what’s got him upset, the therian wants to just about kick himself for sounding like a damn kid about it, and he’s not about to go around admitting it out loud, so you’re gonna have to figure that out on your own.

What’s more, Nomad’s fully prepared to just cut his losses and accept that him and the cat just aren’t gonna get along, and he would if it wasn’t for the fact that this same cat was so damn affectionate when you weren’t around. Without fail, whenever you go out to run errands and he’s stuck with the cat it’ll come plodding up to him and flop down into his lap demanding pets and attention. And he falls for it every single time. You can practically see the frustration rolling off of him when you return, and the cat just about claws his head off trying to get to you as soon as possible, leaving Nomad nursing more than a few nicks thanks to the sheer protectiveness the little fluffball possesses when it comes to you.

Sitri

When you’d first brought the stray you’d adopted home it was a learning experience for you. Figuring out what toys to get and what kind of food and bedding to go and buy were just some of the things you needed to get and asap, and you’d been so focused on making sure the little guy was settling in okay and comfy that by the time everything was sorted out you’d pretty much neglected to let everybody know that you were a cat parent now. Once things have calmed down however, you’re eager to show off the fluffy feline to just about everyone and everyone, and who better to show that Sitri? You were planning to meet up with him after school anyways, and you figured if the kitty was going to warm up to anyone, he’d be a pretty good start, right? 

Though perhaps you should have actually let him know that the cat was home when he’d stopped by your dorm room to see if you were ready to go, as while you’re mid-way through tossing a jacket on and grabbing your bag you hear a yelp and Sitri nearly barrels into your back. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but as you spin around you spot your cat dart across the room, and you have to catch the little fluff ball mid-pounce as it aims directly for the poor therian’s tail. Turns out, while you’d been getting ready, the cat had spotted Sitri at the door and had slipped past your feet to investigate the newcomer, only to latch onto Sitri’s tail the moment the flickering had peaked the feline’s interest. A slew of apologies wasn’t how you’d intended to introduce Sitri to your cat, but you really can’t stay mad at the kitty for long when it sticks you with the wide eyes and cuddles into your arms mid-apology, gently butting your jaw with its head.

You just about melt at the action, especially because this is still in the early stages of your cat settling into your home, and the apology quickly filters off into you cooing over the feline as you hold it up for Sitri to see. For a split second Sitri swears that the cat’s glaring at him as it wriggles free and drops back down to your side to curl around your legs, but surely he’s just imagining it, right? Wrong. That cat spends just about every second that he’s there curled protectively right beside you, sticking Sitri with a stare and swatted paw if his shoulder so much as touches yours. It even kicks up a fuss and follows the pair of you out of the door, which ends up with you asking if you can bring it along, which of course he’s not going to say no to. This quickly becomes a regular occurrence, where almost every time the two of you get to hang out your cat comes with you, and it must know it’s damn cute because every time it tags along you and just about everyone else comes over to pet it and give the cat attention.

Sitri absolutely refuses to admit that he’s even a tiny bit jealous of your cat - getting jealous over a cat is super dumb, and Sitri’s not the kind of cool cat who gets hung up watching you fuss and fawn over the cat every single time you’re together...okay, maybe he’s a tiny bit jealous, but it’s not like he’s going to tell you that he is. Instead, he stews with the thoughts for a while, and just kind of puts up with the presence of the cat in favor of hanging out with you, and he’s sure the cat knows because boy does it push the limits of what it can get away with. There was even one instance where Sitri had made the mistake of having his wings out around your cat, and the little ball of fluff just about ripped a few feathers free the moment it caught sight of those bright orange wings. That at least got your attention focused back on him as you’d worried over his wings and checked that he was okay, but Sitri really doesn’t wanna go through something like that just to keep your attention - he’s pretty sure he’d end up losing all of his feathers if he did that.

With that being said this is Sitri, and you’ve known him long enough that you can tell when something’s starting to bug him, and clearly something has been bothering him for a while. You don’t make the connection for a little while, after all while he does get a bit frustrated watching your cat nuzzle into your hands and curl up on your lap, so you’re blissfully unaware. However, after a while you start to realize just how little attention you pay to Sitri when you guys are together, having your attention pulled away by the cat, and you start to think that maybe he’s feeling miffed that you’ve been leaving him out as a result. You can’t say for sure though until you decide to bring the topic up with him, curious to figure out what’s got him so ruffled.

Once you put two and two together he gets notably embarrassed, and you don’t even have to voice your thoughts aloud before Sitri blurts out that he’s 'not jealous!’ automatically jumping in to deny it before you’ve said a word. Seconds later he realizes what he just said and his hands fly to his mouth as though hoping to stuff the words back in but it’s too late. Your jaw drops, but just as quickly you spin around and exclaim “You’re jealous!?”, watching as he flushes. Sitri tries to deny it again, but it’s significantly less convincing when even the tips of his ears are starting to turn pink; soon enough the moment dissolves into you repeating that he’s jealous, sounding more and more amused each time he tries to argue that he swears he’s not. After a while of this though you make sure to assure him that you’re not making fun of him, ruffling his hair as you assure him that as much as you coddle and fuss the fluffy feline you’ll always have time for him - after all you’d be a fool not to remind your friend he’s the number one cool cat, right~? At your words he goes from flustered to groaning at the cheesy remark, but you can tell he’s feeling a bit better about the whole thing, if not still a bit embarrassed over being seen through so easily.