#and i’ve never really wanted snapchat

[thebeautifulfantastic]

i am *this* close to downloading snapchat just so i can keep an eye on my youngest cousin

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil, not a GO thing so I know you won’t probably see this/want to reply but I need to vent and maybe cross my fingers get help, so thanks for being available to type to. So sorry for any inconvenience.

I got asked out over Snapchat tonight (we first met in person) but a) he’s not really my type and b) I’m possibly aegoromantic. However he’s being so nice and patient about it and the aegoromantic thing so I feel really bad because whenever I imagine myself giving an answer it’s a no and I feel terrible. I’ve never been called pretty or gorgeous before and I doubt it’s going to happen again anytime soon but once I sat down with my feelings and got over the ego boost I just feel dread because it’s most likely going to go nowhere. I 👏 like 👏 fictional 👏 romance 👏 100% more than I like the idea of holding hands IRL romantically.

I don’t know what to do I’m making him wait a full day for a response because I’m so busy and need to talk to my mother so badly 😭 what should I do

Take all the time you need, and talk to your mother.

No is a fine answer. Wait is a fine answer. Thank you for asking but I'm not ready at this time is a fine answer. Just because you are asked doesn't mean you have to say yes.

And good luck.

[strawberrysturniolo]

i love the whole ‘best friends who ‘accidentally’ had sex’ type of concept and it really fits chris 😭 like imagine attending the end of the summer cookout marylou and jimmy have every year, you and chris decide to have wine coolers because why not?

next thing you know….

never grow up // chris sturniolo

summary: you and your childhood best friend reunite after months apart. after a couple of drinks, secrets start spilling, leading to lust that has been put on the back burner for years part 2

Chris and I have been inseparable since the day we met. With us living on the same street growing up, we were always together. If there was a picture taken of one of us as a kid, chances are the other one was in the background trying to photobomb. 

Watching Chris and his brothers make the move to LA was hard. I sat back and supported my best friend, but it sucked knowing that our fault routine of being together after school and having sleepovers was coming to an end.

It all happened so fast. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone. 

The love I have for Chris is unlike anything else in the world. I love Nick, and I adore Matt, but it’s different with Chris. We connect in different ways. We trust each other differently. I’ve never had a friendship like it, and I don’t think I ever will. We always joked about being in each other's weddings. He wanted me to stand with all the groomsmen, and I told him he could stand with the girls. 

We had our lives planned together, and I never thought I’d have to see us fade away from each other. 

We try to talk as much as possible, but with his ridiculous sleep schedule mixed with his work life and time zones, it’s mostly scattered snapchats that keep us from forgetting what the other person looks like. 

A tradition growing up was going to his house for the end of the year cookout. When we were little we would play in the pool, seeing who could collect the most shark toys and torpedoes that we launched into the bottom, and as we got older it turned into chicken fights, then us floating around the pool, asking each other questions about life. 

“Do you ever think about what would happen if your husband didn’t like me?” he had asked me on a sunny day in Massachusetts when we were 16. 

“Yeah,” I said, dragging my hand through the water to cool myself down. “I’d tell him to fuck himself, and if he doesn’t love my best friend like a brother, then I want no part of him. You’ll always come first.”

He gave me that classic, cheesy grin of his and then splashed a wave of water against me, knocking me from my float. 

He’s not coming this year. He’s busy at work in LA. I can feel him drifting away. 

As I help his parents set up some of the food trays, I hear their side door open by the kitchen. I don’t bother looking up, knowing guests have been coming and going all day. It isn’t until two arms wrap around me from behind that my eyes shoot open. 

“Miss me?”

Chris. 

I spin around, staring at him with my jaw dropped. I can see his mom out of the corner of my eye, smiling at us. She must have known about this. I’m sure he told his mom. 

“Oh my god,” is all I can bring myself to say. My eyes start to well with tears. I haven’t seen him since last Christmas. I missed his birthday. He missed me. Our times were always off. 

He squeezed me as our bodies clung to each other. “Don’t cry, you’ll make me cry, Sunny.”

Sunny. The nickname he gave me when we were little, which came from Sunshine. We were 8, swinging on a playground. He had a bad day. We played together after school and he told me whenever he feels sad, his day always gets sunnier with me around. He always was able to make me feel loved and appreciated as his friend, and as we got older, that only grew. 

I know he loves me. He just needed to chase his dream. That doesn’t mean he loves me any less than he ever did. 

“I missed you so much,” he says, holding me even tighter than before. 

“I missed your voice.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I need to make an effort to call you more. I’m just so-“

“Busy,” I finish for him. “I know.”

His face falls. “Yeah.”

I don’t want him to feel bad for what he’s doing. He deserves something so amazing. He’s worked so hard for it. 

“You’re here now though,” I smile. “Can we just pretend like you’ve been here and you never left?”

He smiles softly, nodding. “Yeah.”

I sit by his side for hours, smiling at him as he fills everyone in on what’s he’s been up to. He’s the talk of the town. Everyone is amazed to see him and his brothers do such big things. 

Everyone erupts into laughter when Chris tells his stories, and when Matt and Nick add on more anecdotes, the house is filled with pure joy and love for these boys we watched grow up. 

“I’m gonna get a drink,” Chris says, excusing himself. “You want anything?” he points to me. 

“Whatever you get for yourself is fine,” I nod, adding on a thank you before he leaves. 

He comes back with two Pepsi cans. I notice they’re already opened, but I don’t think anything of it. Knowing Chris, I fully expect him to have drank some of mine, and that’s him trying to be funny. 

My face puckers at the taste of wine in my can. 

He emptied the Pepsi out and poured wine in it instead. 

He smiles next to me, trying not to laugh. 

A memory of us from when we were 14 comes back to me, and I know that’s what he’s trying not to laugh about. 

“Chris! We can’t take their wine!”

“My parents have like 20 bottles. They never drink. These are all Christmas gifts from other people. I promise they won’t notice,” he assured me. 

I watched as he poured the glasses half full. It seemed like far too much. 

“Try it,” he said, nudging a glass to me. “It’s disgusting.”

I took a hesitant sip. This was fucking awful, but I found myself drinking more at the idea of the thrill. We were doing something we weren’t supposed to, which made the alcohol taste even better. 

A half hour later we were both stumbling up to his bedroom, and I managed to make it to the bathroom before throwing up, almost missing his toilet. 

He held my hair back and apologized for giving me alcohol. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone we drank. And he never did. 

“Doesn’t taste as bad now, huh?” he asks, snapping me out of my memory. 

I roll my eyes and take another sip. He’s right. 

Once everyone leaves for the night, my family stays back to help Chris’ parents clean up, and my parents were offered a plethora of leftovers.

When Chris showed up, it was a no-brainer that I would be staying here tonight, so he led me upstairs while everyone else said their goodbyes. 

“Shhh,” he hushed me as my giggles flooded the hallway. I’m definitely tipsy, but I’m completely coherent. I think most of my giggles come from the fact that he’s back in Boston. I’m just giddy and happy. 

“Sorry!” I apologize anyway, even though he’s not bothered by the sound of my laughter. He smiles at it. He loves it. 

He lays out a pair of pajamas for me like he always used to. It’s an old shirt from our high school with his lacrosse number on it, and a pair of his boxers. 

I find myself thinking about the girls he had been with that were jealous of what I had with him. Me and Chris had never even kissed, so to think he would be accused of so much more with me was ridiculous. He never failed to stand up for me though. He could have the number one girl, someone perfect for him, and he’d say goodbye to him if they said one bad thing about me. 

We will always be rooting for each other no matter what. 

“Tomorrow we should actually do some stuff around town,” he says as he changes into something to sleep in. “I’ve been traveling all day and I’m so fucking tired. I just want to lay in bed.” He finishes his statement and flops down on the bed, laying his head next to my thighs.

“I really missed you, Chris. A lot,” I respond, ignoring his suggestion. 

He sits up next to me, looking down at me in his clothing. “I know, Sunshine. I missed you just as much. More, probably.” 

I felt safe with him again, a feeling that had been lost as we spent months and months apart. I craved moments like these, where we would stay up together and laugh. 

The mood in his room shifts when he says, “What ever happened with you and Aaron?”

He knows what happened. I told him before I told anyone else. 

He broke up with me with no explanation, and I was left heartbroken and confused. I wanted nothing more than a hug from Chris, but 3,000 miles kept that from happening. 

“We’re not talking anymore,” I remind him. I really don’t want to be talking about boys right now, but it seems that’s the topic of conversation that is interesting to him most. “Any girls that have your attention in LA?”

He shrugs. “Not really. They’re cool, some are cute, but I don’t know. I don’t think I wanna do anything with any of them.”

Chris has always been very anti-relationships, but that never stopped him from having his fair share of fun. He always made sure they were on the same page that it was just benefits, sometimes not even friends. I am curious what turns him away from exploring with girls in LA. “Why not?” 

“They just don’t have what I’m looking for. I want someone who understands me and what I want, but only a few people get that,” he explains. “I don’t know. I don’t want to waste my time with someone if I know from the jump that it feels like a waste. And I think about you, and how we are, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that close with anyone else. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to think about someone ever taking your place.”

“You can set limits,” I suggest. “But don’t keep yourself from meeting people because you’re worried about me feeling replaced. I won’t ever feel that way. I just want you to be happy.”

“Well, that’s not the only reason you’re a problem in it.”

There’s an ache in my chest at the thought of me being a part of a problem in his life. 

“What?”

“I just– There have been issues before… in the past… where girls have felt threatened by you,” he says, looking down at his fingers, where he picks at the dead skin nervously. “That’s not your fault by the way. It’s dumb. I just… I don’t know.”

I pull his hands away from him. “I love you, Chris.”

He smiles at me and says, “I love you too.”

Somehow, his feels different. 

I check the time on my phone, putting in beside me and announcing to him, “I’m gonna go to bed.”

Just like we always did, innocently of course, I placed the softest and quickest peck to his cheek closest to me. 

I did this as a kid, mostly because Chris would freak out if his mom didn’t give him a kiss goodnight. He insisted that it kept the bad dreams away, and he would ask me to do the same for him when he spent the night at my house. 

So I kissed his cheek like always. 

I tried to.

But Chris moved his head.

His lips graze mine. There isn’t much contact, but there’s enough for me to know that we just kissed, barely. 

He knows exactly what he just did, yet he’s looking at me like he’s shocked. 

I’m not drunk, but maybe this is acting as liquid courage. That’s what I tell myself when I fully grab my best friend’s cheeks and press my lips to his. He lets out a deep breath against me, holding the back of my neck and fisting a handful of my hair. 

What are we doing? I’m kissing my best fucking friend. My best friend of 15 years. 

I’m lost in my own head, completely out of it until I feel him lay on top of me, pinning my arms over my head with one hand as he kisses down my neck with the other. 

I lift my chin, giving him more room to kiss me.

He finishes placing wet kisses to my skin, then puts his lips back on mine. His full lips overtake mine, but we form a rhythm that has my chest tightening. He kisses me slowly, but the more tongue we add to the mix, the louder it sounds. 

We make out for some time. I lose all track of it. I don’t even know if I’m in reality anymore. My hips aimlessly lift up to try to find something to create friction against. I almost forgot who I was kissing until he pulled back and said, “We’re entering dangerous territory here, Sunshine.”

“What do you want to do then?”

He falls silent, and I fully expect him to lay down next to me and pretend this never happened.

He does the opposite. 

“I would never be doing this if it wasn’t something I had thought about for years.”

My heart feels like it’s pounding out of my chest. 

Everyone who watched us grow up together is in this house. 

And he’s pinning me down to the bed kissing me in the same room we used to play in. 

“Then do something about it,” I taunt.

He loves this invitation.

Going zero to one hundred, Chris sits up, pulling his shirt off and tossing it beside me. I’ve seen him shirtless a million times. Hell, I’ve seen his bare ass. This is different though. So much different. 

He puts his lips back on mine as his hands slide to the bare skin under my shirt. Without a second thought, I remove it, completely forgetting that I don’t have a bra on. 

His eyes focus on my body, his jaw slacked and his cheeks turning red. 

“Holy shit.”

I instinctively try to cover myself somehow. He grabs my arms and pulls them back down. 

“No no,” he shakes his head. “Let me admire you, pretty girl.”

He kisses me softly down my chest, flicking his tongue over my nipples before sucking them into his mouth, all while he’s rubbing his hand on my inner thigh.

I shift my hips, positioning his hand right over where I need him the most. He stares up at me in awe as I give him this sign of approval, and without wasting any time, he dives his hand into the boxers around me. His underwear. I mimic his movements, dropping my hand through the waistband of his shorts and swiping my thumb over the tip of his hardened cock. He winces at my touch, gasping out of desperation. 

“Please,” he whines. “Don’t start something you can’t finish. I’m begging you.”

I yank his shorts down, having the same reaction to his dick that he did to my boobs. I lay below him in shock, mostly baffled by the fact that he’s hung, but also the fact that we’re in this situation. 

When he gets nervous from my staring, he places soft kisses to my lips again, like he’s trying to put my attention elsewhere. 

“Sunshine,” he pants. “I can’t… If we’re gonna do this… I can’t wait,” he breathes out. “I need you now.”

I stroke him slowly, watching his stomach heave. “Have me then.”

In an instant he has my boxers and underwear on the floor in one fluid motion, spreading my legs and laying between them.

“Can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me,” he whispers. He touches my dripping folds carefully, then licks his finger clean. “Fuck, you’re perfect. Always have been.”

I’m in my most vulnerable state. Not only am I naked in front of a man, but this is the guy who has watched me grow up. He has seen me through every stage of life, and now he’s about to be touching me, fucking me. 

“Chris,” I say his name quickly, urgently, like I’m running out of time to say anything.

He looks down at me, pausing from where he was lining himself up between my legs. 

I love you.

He smiles and says, “I know,” before putting my legs over his shoulders and pushing himself inside of me. 

My fist clenches a nearby pillow as my body adjusts to him stretching me out. Chris gasps out in pleasure and shock from this entire experience. He drops his face into my neck, letting me hear his soft moans as he feels me clenching, throbbing around him. 

When I give him the okay, he starts thrusting into me slowly, both of us silent, letting the sound of our skin finding each other ring in our ears. 

I’m having sex with my best friend. 

He places a kiss on my thigh, where it rests next to his face. Then, he pushes one of my legs out, spreading me open more.

“Fuck!” I cry out, the sound quickly masked by Chris’ mouth, where he places his lips over mine again to shut me up. 

“Gotta be quiet, Sunny,” he warns me. I nod, and he puts his hand over my mouth, making sure I keep the volume down. 

His dick hits every spot perfectly. His body clings to mine as our orgasms are in sight. I find myself begging for him, moaning his name, something I never would have expected from us. 

Chris sits up on his knees, pressing my knees to my chest as he pounds into me, his face staring down with a dominant gaze, watching his dick fill me as my cum drips around him.

“Fuckkk,” he groans. “Such a dirty girl.”

All self control leaves me when I don’t bother hesitating as I respond with, “Yours.”

He nods, speeding up his pace. His thrusts become sloppier, much sloppier. “All fucking mine,” he reminds me, then pulls himself out of my pussy and strokes himself through his orgasm, letting himself finish on my lower stomach.

He quickly gets a towel and cleans me up before he places his head on my boobs. My hands dig into his hair, running my hands through his loose curls. 

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Sunshine, you know that?”

I smile to myself, but I also know that we completely fucked up us ever having a normal friendship after this. 

My best friend and I fucked. 

And he doesn’t do relationships. 

“You’re my favorite,” I whisper back. 

He places a kiss to my stomach, and I can feel the smile on his face when he does so.

I don’t smile. I know that with our decision tonight, we lost one side of our relationship. 

We either become romantic and it gets fucked up and we lose a friendship too, or our friendship becomes awkward and crumbles because of this. 

Neither of us thought about that before we got ourselves tangled up in each other, and I’m doing everything I can to forget about that fear and focus on the boy I’ve been in love with for years laying on my chest. 

tag list: @secret-sturniolo @chrisloyalgf @strnilo @draculaura123 @jellybeanbby @qwertytit @55sturn @sleepysturnss @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturnvvz @swaggygirlboss123 @angelworldspost @patscorner @ducksturniolo @mattitties @luv4kozume @mbbsgf @freshloveforthefit @ripmattitude @gamermattsgf @strniololoverr @urmom2bitch @sturnitup @luvmila444 @st7rnioioss @sturniolosreads @pepsiskiess @alorsxsturn @sturniolopepsi @sturnsgasoline @sturns-posts@sstvrnioloo @strawberrymilk4k @ratatioulle @kiibichio @nickmillersn1gf @milesfordays11 @l9vesick @mattsturnzzz09 @mattnchrisworld

[rosie-writings]

Collapse Into Me

Request: anon— A honeymoon fic of Colby bringing his wife to Wales like he mentioned on Snapchat during their Europe trip

Summary: Wedding planning polarized you and your family, but it made you realize that Colby’s family is the one you were meant to be in.

Warnings: Colby x Reader smut, Dom/Sub dynamic, Bondage, Overstimulation, Unprotected Sex, and all the warm fluffy feelings

Words: 9k

No Y/N Used

Title is from ‘Telomeres’ by Sleep Token

My hands were shaking, trembling to the bone, and I couldn’t tell if it was due to the cold in the air or that shrill in her voice.

“And so you think it’s a good idea, now?” My eyebrows pushed together at the sight of hers raising. “Of all times, now?”

”I mean, technically not-not now. In February.”

”February?” I didn’t think her voice reached that pitch, but of course it was me who could draw it out of her. “You’re giving yourself four months to plan a wedding? You’re so stupid.”

”Tell me why I’m stupid about this. You haven’t given me a valid reason; you’ve given me ridiculous reasons for why you think I’m stupid about other things, but not this.”

”Because,” she sighed with a twinge in her voice. My eyes grazed the stringy amber brown streaked blonde directionless curls at the end of her wavy hair. The last three inches of them should have been cut off months ago. “You of all people should know that it’s dumb behavior to have a ring on your finger three months into even entertaining the idea of being-of being stuck to someone.” My eyes fell flat.

I never liked the fact that I was five inches shorter than my cousin, but at this moment, I realized that she swung her height clunkily with those heels that used to be in my bedroom. My mom left them on my bed for me when she accidentally bought two sizes too big for herself. Of course I left them in my cousin’s car accidentally on purpose because why would a clan of near-six-foot-tall women leave a size ten shoe for the one who barely hit five foot four. 

“Okay,” my voice shook. “That kind of hurt actually.”

”Yeah; truth hurts. That’s how you know that this is the truth.” If that was the case, I could hurt her a lot right now. I would start with the fact that her eye color never really matched her beloved blue mascara, but that was neither here nor there.

”Well… I’d rather be stuck to him for the rest of my life than you guys.” I looked away and shoved down the burning in my throat. I continued the blame before she could gasp her pitiful response. “I mean, it’s true for you I suppose.”

”It’s true for anyone!”

”You-You hardly know what I want.” The scoff of her thick lips made mine push in a tight line.

”I’ve seen you under the sun enough to know that you’ve daydreamed about your honeymoon being at the beach.” Or maybe I simply day dreamed about a summer vacation without your squeaky voice cutting through the soothing sound of waves—

“I mean, you’re probably just projecting,” I sighed. “At least your skin keeps a tan. It’s just too much work for me to prioritize staying dark.”

“Yeah I know,” she said and I bit my tongue to conceal the roll of my eyes as if my eyes and tongue were connected. “Maybe I should just convince your mom to talk sense into you.”

”I mean, I’ve told her already and you’re the only one who’s given me this amount of shit about it.” Her eyes widened; they yielded a confrontation I wasn’t ready for. 

“Hm,” she sighed. Her eyes scanned me and it felt nice for her to be speechless if even for a second. “Well I still don’t like it.”

”And not everything’s about you.” This time her eyes rolled.

“Where are you even getting married? He has enough money to take you wherever you want and have it done.”

”Pf,” I scoffed because my stomach turned at the sound of her already expecting something from him. “Perhaps, but you damn well know I have enough money to bring all of us anywhere I want to go.” Her eyebrow rose. Only one of them.

”So you’re telling me he’s making you pay?”

”I don’t remember your opinion mattering when it comes to issues between a husband and wife, but go off I guess.” She audibly gasped.

”I’m telling your mom you said that.”

”Do it,” I challenged without blinking. She rolled her eyes. Her stupid car keys flicked over her hand. No one ever told her that the weight of all the senseless chains between far and few keys on the ring could ruin her ignition. She probably pumped her own gas once.

”I will.” She spun on her heel and walked over the edge of the curb. Her hand settled on the handle of that pristine Audi she bought last autumn. Well, she didn’t buy it; follow the money up the chain and it would come from YouTube into my bank account. “Also, I could never see you getting married in the dead of winter. You’d blend in with the snow and dead trees.”

I rolled my eyes because she didn’t know that it made me cry at night when my skin reddened from the unrelenting summer sun.

It didn’t even snow in Southern California.

”Hey,” he said, and the door of the car hardly opened all the way when the sweet sound hit my ears. Despite the tension in my throat, I stifled a wide smile.

”Hi,” I said as I sat down and closed the door. A flick of a millisecond long expression from him told me that I held my breath for too long when I said my greeting. 

“I’m guessing it went…”

”Yeah no,” I sighed as I released the tension in my throat. My fingers etched into the thick leather of his car. His hand found my thigh. My eyes still peeled out the window. “She’s an idiot. They all are.” He was quiet for a moment. Before a smile broke. God, I couldn’t look away from him even if I only drowned on half of his appearance. His eyes were on the road. 

“Sorry, but I anticipated that.” I shook my head.

It was September, and Colby and I got engaged almost a month ago. I waited to tell any of my family until now so that we could breathe and be excited by taking a break at work and partying with friends more than necessary. I knew that it would put yet another ringer between my women dominated family who each had expectations much higher than I did.

Well, my expectation of the actual person I was going to marry clearly was higher than theirs. Their primary focus was the wedding and who their bridesmaids were going to be and where the bachelorette parties would be and where the honeymoon—

Jesus Christ.

Maybe I was the second out of eleven of us getting married—I had three sisters and four first and three second cousins; all of us girls—because I wanted to get it over with. Maybe it sounded sad, and I kind of was, but this sadness was rooted in the stigma they inadvertently forced in me when I was young. I knew I didn’t meet their expectations when it came to the kind of dresses I liked.

Don’t get me wrong; I was no less materialistic than they were. I just liked making my own money and giving myself clothes and dresses devoid of color when I wanted to, unlike the ones their mothers and fathers threw at them in between whiny complaints. They dressed me up one time when I was sixteen; that was when the oldest was married at 25. I wasn’t a bridesmaid because there were too many of us, especially when combined with her two best friends. 

And I wasn’t the flower girl either because I wasn’t the youngest. But if she had asked me to be the flower girl, I would have dressed in a floor length black dress out of spite towards the embarrassment. 

The first time I would be in a wedding would be my own, and I was thoroughly happy about it.

I liked the way—that when Colby’s fingertips dragged up my leg to find my hand, and once found—his own rings clashed with the one he gave me. I also liked the fact that the first ring I ever accepted from someone was his, and also the fact that the first ring to be placed on his ring finger would be the one I would get him. Despite the dozens of rings that adorned his fingers at every second of the day, I knew he deliberately made vacant his ring finger, even if he never explicitly mentioned it. I noticed.

So now we were on the way back to his house. I suspected Sam was back from his morning responsibility and as were other friends considering the amount of food in the backseat. Colby must have picked it up right as he picked me up from the cafe I met my sisters at that morning.

We talked about the engagement at first, and I was smart enough to tell them in public so they couldn’t make too large of a scene. It was my sister who was the happiest. She was two years older than me; the oldest of us four. Two of the three cousins who decided to spend their time on me had to warm to the idea. It was my second oldest sister and the third cousin who stayed later after everyone else left to chew me out about it. 

I was saved by God herself when my sister said she was going to be late for work and left. My cousin didn’t get the memo and didn’t leave in her car until Colby’s had been sitting on the side of the road, since all the parking spaces were taken, for a solid minute. 

It felt like I could breathe everytime I stepped foot in their house. 

Once everything was settled, anyway.

Colby told me the night we were engaged, after the party and after we had been alone for two hours, that he would have proposed to me in the spring, but it took all those months to convince Sam that it was a good idea.

”I never expected you to be the one to convince Sam that marriage could be good; I thought it would be the other way around,” I told Colby when my thumb still twisted the engagement ring on my finger. He laughed.

”I don’t think it would have mattered who was getting married between us; the other one was bound to take months to come to terms with it.”

And I knew it had nothing to do with me. I love their friendship wholeheartedly; I had no complaints about it at all. 

“I really don’t hold any of that-that mess against you, you know?” I shook my head in faux annoyance.

”You don’t have to tell me that everytime I had a standoff with them about you,” I snapped. “I know you don’t. If you did, I wouldn’t be here.” 

“That’s a little much—“

”I mean, even though I fucking hate them sometimes—most of the time—I still couldn’t marry someone who seriously hates them. That’s for me and me only.”

”You take the brunt of them too much.”

”Yeah well,” I sighed as we got to the house, and thanked God for it. “Someone has to and at least I have the patience to not tear their family apart unlike our mothers.” He smiled, and I knew it had nothing to do with what I meant.

Their family, as in, I was already founded by another.

Wedding planning was nice when I was secluded with my friends and when I was with Colby; the anxiety of being without the rest of my family was forgotten. I knew I was different from them, but I didn’t realize how much I was until my own wedding planning turned into a mirror. I also couldn’t stop thinking about my oldest cousin’s wedding; maybe it was a blessing more than a curse that I didn’t have to wear one of those coral bridesmaid dresses that looked stuck in a 2015 Instagram feed.

I really didn’t look good in coral. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t chosen. Or maybe it was the fact that if I chose a dress that would cover my tattoos, it wouldn’t match her aesthetic.

It didn’t matter to me. None of them would be in my wedding.

I take that back; one would, and that was the one who cried when I FaceTimed her two weeks ago. Colby, even, invited her to a party of recent to which she declined but was thankful still for including her. She was a month younger than me. I threatened her to not tell the rest of our family. The fact that I told her was enough; I knew she wouldn’t. 

Maybe there was a certain decibel of venom on my tongue when I talked about my family to the boys, but I was too lethargic to say it to their faces. My family would expect yelling, arguing, and receipts, and at this point, I simply didn’t care enough.

I decided to save the energy for the week the world learned about who was in my ring of bridesmaids. 

“Good thing you only have a few months left of it,” Colby said a bit too happily. I smiled as we grabbed the food and walked into their full house. 

And a few months it was.

I dizzied at the sight of the makeup on my face. To be completely transparent, I tried this look on myself before and I thought I looked decent until a professional artist, obviously, made my version of the look more similar to a newborn digging through its mother’s makeup bag. Two days. Just two more days and it would be over. It guilted me that that was how I felt about wedding planning, but I just wanted to be alone. 

Alone with Colby; how was that different than being alone at this point?

Somehow, the weather caved as if it knew and obeyed the spite in my heart. Thick winterous clouds rolled in last night, and I couldn’t help but smile at them. No longer did I imagine a piercing blue sky over us in our wedding photos. I didn’t fully understand why it made me ecstatic to know that the weather would traditionally be not ideal for a wedding.

Maybe it was the fact that the earth gave me what I wanted.

My mother, three cousins, and one sister complained about how gross it was outside and how they wished the sky would clear up. I silently prayed it wouldn’t. I could have sworn the clouds turned grayer. I knew I wouldn’t get snow in Los Angeles, but my family was right about the fact that I wouldn’t have been able to handle the chill.

And I thought that fluke cool front in September was cold.

“What do you think?” I asked as my best friend walked in the room upon the makeup artist’s request.

”Stop,” she gasped and she smiled ear to ear until the burning I ever so hated coiled in my throat. “I fear I’m going to have to be a bitch to you tomorrow so that we won’t get all sentimental and cry it all off.”

”Good,” I snorted. “Because if I cry I’m punching you in the throat.” I held the mirror and looked at myself. It was the first time I wore makeup that mended with my skin tone. It didn’t look like I stole mud from the earth and rubbed in on my cool skin. I looked more alive and healthy than I did when my sister did my make up, and my heart sped at the idea that each of them would scowl at the eyeliner that might have been a millimeter thicker than the average wedding liner. I don’t know what it was; I didn’t do things out of spite all the time.

It simply looked like spite when I did things for myself.

I saved putting my dress on for tomorrow.

But when tomorrow came, my best friend tied it up for me. Or zipped it. Both, actually. 

The photographer snapped our intimate moments in the women’s getting ready room. My two other friends, my sister, and Colby’s sister including our moms who stopped by for no more than ten minutes accompanied. The silence was a blessing even though we were the furthest from actually staying quiet. I didn’t think I liked other human voices until I met my closest friends.

It ended before I convinced myself it started.

My stomach was in knots until I saw Colby that day, and then I remembered the rest. I blacked out when I was with him, always, and could only remember the things we kept between us. The rest of it didn’t matter. The morning mattered, but the nerves gnawed at them, and when we were together, who cared about the cousin gossiping rows away?

I heard his footsteps before his voice. He took his time, and I didn’t move.

I stood in the room that my bridesmaids and I readied ourselves in nearly an hour ago. 

My lips still buzzed from the feeling of his. We kissed far too many times to count, but it felt like this one counted more than the rest. 

He took more steps towards me.

I noticed my breath as my eyes still peeled out the window. The heavy winter clouds still hung low, and the trees around the venue were almost colorless aside from the nearly black bark that hung on through the stress of winter. The decorations took the place of snow, and I appreciated my best friend’s idea of having black and white be the colors for our wedding, because I couldn’t look away. The red roses displaced here and there warmed the ornate black iron chairs facing the altar, and I imagined what the semi outdoor and indoor reception space appeared like now that people and music filled it. 

He didn’t say anything by the time he stood behind me. His hands found my waist. I still didn’t move.

I knew he came to find me, primarily, but also prepared me for entering the reception hand in hand. I assumed all that was forgotten when he found me here, alone. I didn’t intend on being alone. After photos, my bridesmaids and I came up here to freshen up and they then went off to arrange our entrance. Colby did the same with his groomsmen.

“Fuck off; go find your wife we have business to attend to,” I read Sam’s lips. Colby laughed and didn’t question when a handful of them raced by with cans and markers in their hands. I watched them down below on the porch; butterflies filled me when Colby walked in the front door.

A breath dragged quickly between my teeth when Colby left a trail of slow kisses from my neck to my shoulder. The white lace of my sleeves hardly clung on my shoulder giving him much room. He didn’t take advantage of it for the sake of photos, but I knew he wanted to. I leaned back into his touch, but didn’t take my eyes off the window. 

The ceremony space was fully empty now; the last few guests made it to the reception space.

“As much as I’m contemplating taking you here and fucking you on every surface of this room, I’m not sure you would appreciate me messing up your makeup before we go to the reception.”

My face burned, oh it burned, I didn’t look at him or else his pestering smile would make it worse.

”Bring me downstairs then,” I laughed and turned to him finally. I hardly looked at him before his lips were on mine. My arms wrapped around his neck, ever pulling him tighter. I breathed him in as he tasted me.

Maybe my wine red lipstick was transfer proofed on purpose, but a tiny part of me wished it wasn’t because his new ring wouldn’t be the only symbol of claim on him.

”Come on,” he said, and his hand slipped in mine. 

I tasted him through the reception.

Through pictures, dances, cake, and conversations; I didn’t think a mouth could be so memorable.

”What?” I gasped when I butted in the boys’ conversation at the end. Sam looked at me with wide drunken eyes that buzzed from the thrill of the night.

”Uh—We were reminding Colby to just chill out and take a breath before seeing his car and probably have it washed before you do anything else or else he’d have to get a new paint job tomorrow.”

”Jesus Christ,” Colby laughed. 

And after we left the venue, we did just that. I didn’t know that shaving cream could eat away at car paint but there we were.

My ears rang after the car doors were shut, and my breathing caught in my chest.

We were alone. 

We had been alone and spent many nights sleepless and breathless, but none of them amounted to that night, that moment. I couldn’t pinpoint why, I just knew.

He didn’t say anything in the minutes it took to reach the freeway. My palm burned against his. His fingertips raced up my palm and invaded the lace that started at my wrist. Chills electrified up my arm from where his fingertips touched, and I didn’t move away from them. 

My head spun with every step, and before I knew it, we walked into the hotel suite booked if only for a handful of hours. Until our flight. I walked in, my breathing definitely not under control, and he haphazardly set our bags down. I felt his eyes on me, and before I could turn around, I heard his quick steps. I broke into a smile when his hands reached me, and he spun me around harshly for himself.

His hand held my face, and no longer was his touch filled with care for my appearance. No, it was filled with a vengeance to touch, to please, to get near. He licked into my mouth and I gave and gave, his hands didn’t leave any part of my body untouched, even as we stood there.

And then he fell to his knees.

My breath left me as he looked up darkly from where he descended. As I drew a breath to ask what he was doing, hands slowly snaked up my legs. 

“Colby,” I hummed his name. There wasn’t much of a skirt to my dress; it was more a-line than anything, but the thin layers of fabric were soft, durable. My skin crawled at the sound of it brushing against the sleeve of his thick jacket. He still hadn’t changed a thing about his appearance since the ceremony. Maybe his jacket came off at some point while dancing, but we could see our breaths in the air outside.

”Oh—“ I couldn’t contain my hums, moans, and noises as his fingertips trailed up my skin, and when he dove under my dress and used his mouth on me instead, I saw stars.

I couldn’t remember another word other than his name. I felt it too; the hum of his own moans against my thighs. What on earth took him so long? I was torn in two. A part of me needed to feel every part of him now, but the other wanted to stay here forever and let him touch and kiss every cell of my body.

The muscles in my stomach tensed the moment his fingers grabbed the top of one of the garters around my thigh and he snapped it back. My hand reflexively pushed his head and he laughed. I thought he would take it off, but no. His retaliation was shoving me by the hips to sit on the edge of the bed behind me. 

Instead, his lips and tongue dove right where I ached for him.

With a gasp, I tried to handle what I felt, but I couldn’t. He didn’t even move to take off the lace that was probably ruined with my arousal and had been for hours now. Then a few fingertips dipped behind the side of it and I preened at the feeling of his cool fingerprints in my unbearable heat.

“Colby—“ I gasped yet again, but he didn’t wait up. Two fingers dove into me. He knew how ready I was; he probably knew from the look in my eyes alone. Then he whispered something against me that I couldn’t make out. He shoved the lingerie out of his way, and I gasped at the tough stretch of the lace in my inner hip. His tongue was on me, his mouth worked me and sucked me sweetly as his fingers slowly moved in and out.

My head hit the bed as I gave up any power I had. 

Then he gasped and breathed heavily as he pushed my skirt up higher. It pooled across my hips, and I rose to my elbows so I could finally see his pretty face. It was flushed, and his eyes were dark and hazy.

Those hands grabbed my thighs, and the pressure fueled my lust must have left bruises in their wake. I yelled his name as he dove back down into me, and I finally was able to string my fingers through his messy hair. 

I chanted his name like a prayer and I felt moans and words in between my legs again. No part of me could find the mess he made of his mouth, my heat, repulsive in any way even though I know I would scrub us clean in a handful of time.

”Oh my god, I’ll come already,” I gasped. Of course this fueled his movements. My voice broke into higher whines, and he didn’t complain if I yanked on the roots of his hair too tightly.

He licked me through my orgasm even as I shook through violent aftershocks. 

He shot to his feet.

”Please—“ I gasped. His eyes didn’t come off mine as he unbuckled his belt. I did, though, I took my eyes off his eyes, and I launched forward. Even though it may have taken more time than if he did it, he allowed my excitement to fumble with the button and zipper of his pants. I felt his gaze on top of me, and his hand stroked in alignment with the currents of my hair. It was pinned behind me loosely where rivers of strands wound elegantly.

My heart raced at the feeling of his rough, and respectfully gentle hand warmly brushing and leading me without messing up my hair. I wanted him to, though. God, I wanted him to ruin my hair.

Ruin my makeup. 

I pulled him from his pants, and a river of uneven breaths flowed from him. He hummed my name when I took him in my mouth.

”Just-Just want inside you,” he whispered. I ignored him and laced my gaze with his as I went down on him over and over. His eyes rolled back and my body surged deeper around him when pleasure overcame him. I might have gone faster, might have gotten ahead of myself— “Alright, alright,” he gasped. He grabbed himself and pulled me by the hair. I gasped when I came off of him.

He shoved me down to the bed. 

I looked up at him, and he didn’t move us. He didn’t take another article of clothing off us.

I couldn’t speak, and from the look in his eyes, he clearly couldn’t either. His heart raced; I could tell by the way his breath escaped him in and out unevenly. He shoved my lingerie to the side again.

Like every time his body mended with mine, he filled me to the brim. 

“Love you—“ He gasped so lowly I hardly heard him. “Mine, you’re all mine.”

”And you’re mine,” I whined when he thrusted harshly. We didn’t leave room for teasing. He didn’t want to waste another second—not that any of the many seconds of the day were wasted—but what else was each glance we sent each other on this day other than teasing, foreplay.

God, I undressed him with my eyes dozens of times today alone.

His hands raced down my legs, pushed them back and spread them further apart. Eyes tore me to shreds. His face strained with pleasure, and I had to hold onto the duvet tightly since I couldn’t read what I wished to.

”God—fucking—in the way—“ He cut himself off with a tear.

He didn’t want to take off any of my clothes, no, he wanted to savor the sight of this day on my skin, so he tore the side lace of the lingerie slightly so that he didn’t catch on the tightness of it. I gasped some tension released, and he was able to find better leverage.

”I love you, I love you—holy shit—you’re mine.” This time he leaned forward with one of my legs hooked over his arm.

”I’m yours,” I repeated.

”I’m going to cum in you and you’re going to stay filled with it until the morning,” he said. I thought his hand wrapped around my throat, but that was just my visceral reaction. 

“Colby,” I gasped his name breathlessly. “Need you in me forever.”

It was quick, and I didn’t realize until later how calculated it was.

After he filled me, he recovered me with the tight white lingerie—albeit slightly ripped now—and his release couldn’t slip out. My body trembled under his touch, his gaze, and he kissed me like he meant it at the altar. He always did.

”Sit up,” he gasped. I obeyed and looked up at him for the next direction. Instead of making a command, he walked over and sat behind me on the bed. His hands were hot and sweaty, his breath still quick. 

Then, his hands started working on the laces and zipper of my dress. It took him a second, but he learned and released me from the dress slowly. A part of me wanted to rush him, but this was it. The first and the last time he would take this dress off of me. When it was undone, his fingers uncovered my shoulders; fingers grazing my inked skin behind the falling lace.

Colby stood in front of me as I too raised to my feet and he pushed down my dress. I stepped out of it. When he went to worship the rest of my body that he neglected, I cut him off. I grabbed his face and kissed him. I savored his moans against my tongue before I licked into his mouth. His hands were on me. They fell down my bare sides, ran over the roughness of the lace lingerie over my hips, and raced back up over my shoulders, my chest.

I pulled away. 

Without looking away from the eyes I swam in every day, I loosened his tie and pulled it off. Then his jacket. 

My fingers worked and unclasped the buttons of his button up. With each one I unbuttoned, I kissed down his skin. I felt the way he shuddered under my breath, my lips, and I was reminded all over again the real effect I had on him. His heart beat erratically, his breath wavered.

I kissed all the way down his body until I was on my knees. The shirt slipped from his shoulders. He pulled from his shoes and pushed them away. Then I pulled his pants off fully; obviously they were already unbuckled.

He moaned my name, and somehow this was more intimate than him putting his cum in me.

”Come here,” he said before I could take his underwear off. I stood. He kissed me again, but he pulled me. His lips pulled me, his hands.

I followed him into the bathroom.

Looking back on it, every decision he made was calculated. He always allowed me my fun, but he never skipped a step or a plan. 

Colby flicked the light in the bathroom on and he pulled the stool at the wide granite sink away for me. I sat and looked at myself in the mirror. 

A flush matched my messy makeup and painted my skin. For as dressed as my hair and face were, my body sat completely bare. Naturally I considered cowering away, but he would never allow that. I froze as he stood behind me and ever so gently, began pulling the hair pins from my hair and setting them on the sink.

Pretty sure I melted then and there as if nothing that had just happened, happened.

I watched his face as he focused. With every pin, a strand of hair cascaded down my skin. Goosebumps spread over the touches. He kept the hair down my back and didn’t allow it in front of me. I knew that was on purpose; I would have covered my nipples with the strands.

When my hair was completely free, he left the bathroom.

”Colb—“ He immediately returned with my bag. He opened it. He grabbed the smaller bag inside of it knowing my brush and makeup remover were in it.

I could have been shaking from the chill in the bathroom, but I think it was from the warmth that pooled in between my legs in my underwear. I knew my eyes were darkened with thoughts. I looked up at him in the mirror as he brushed my hair. 

The fact that his cum pooled in my underwear while he did the sweetest, gentlest thing he had ever done for me turned this into the filthiest memory I had.

He must have known that this memory would get me on his knees for him every day for the rest of our lives.

“Stop that,” he finally broke the very long silence. I don’t think we ever sat in such a long silence without one of us sleeping.

”Stop what?” My voice caught. We ignored it.

”Staring at me like you’re going to eat me or something.” I laughed.

”Obviously,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes away. He laughed at the heated blush on my face.

”God, you’re so beautiful. Insane in my hands.” He left the brush on the counter. “Take off your makeup and we’ll go lay down, okay?”

”Okay,” I nodded.

I knew he wanted to shower, but he wanted me to sleep with his cum in me more.

After I was finished cleaning my face, he shoved me back down on the stool. I gasped when he got on his knees in between my thighs. Darkly, his eyes glanced up at me for a moment and then he looked at my skin where he touched me.

As his fingers drenched the skin of my legs, he tugged the garter on my thigh off with his teeth. His breath left hot chills trailed behind.

When the early sun woke me up, I realized he purposely didn’t draw the curtains so we could wake up without an alarm but still on time. We woke up very much so on time; we didn’t need to leave for the airport for another three hours. It was six am. I opened my eyes and rolled to him. His body was on fire, and my skin writhed at the feeling of his hard he was against me already. Before he choked out his first word, I straddled him. 

“Baby,” he moaned, hands rested on my hips. I still wore my underwear like he wanted. His eyes fell down my body and landed on my underwear. “Off. Need these off now,” he demanded as he played with the frayed edges of the tear he caused. I raised my hips and pulled them down. His refreshed eyes didn’t miss a second of my body that was revealed from under the white fabric.

”Holy shit—“ he gasped, and that was how I realized we mixed—our fluids mixed—in between my legs and still connected my underwear to me. He didn’t spend another word. He threw the lingerie aimlessly and grabbed my hips with a force, a dominance, he didn’t use last night. I squealed as he yanked me back down on his lap. 

My eyes rolled back when we both thrusted my hips across him; up and down.

And when he filled me, when he shoved me down on him, I rode him until we both neared tears and more of his cum stuffed inside of me. The sun had barely awakened the city.

He washed my hair and my body in the shower that morning, and I was glad I woke us up so early so that our third round in seven hours was under that hot shower rain. It was less the rain that washed clean our mess between my legs and more his tongue. More within this night had he fallen to his knees for me than I could remember. So, naturally, I fell on my knees for him after.

We stood at the wide mirror and talked as we got ready.

Our flight to Wales was in an hour and a half.

And my stomach was in knots.

It was difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that this was the true start of the rest of our lives together, and not only that, we were on our way to an entirely different country alone to stay alone for a week without distractions. We’ve traveled together before, but I knew that nothing was about to compare to this.

Only through TSA did he pull his hand away from mine.

I didn’t even think about it.

Not even a millisecond of time was spent worrying about anyone else. Not our families, our friends, or our work took up a second of space in my head. I was torn apart for choosing the honeymoon location. While discussing it with Colby, we realized that we both already wanted to come here. He had been here with Sam before once while on their Europe trip. This country was simply romanticized in my head by the books I enjoyed.

The grass was infinitely greener than I anticipated considering the chilling weather. When I touched the grasses and blades of bristles that show from the soft earth, they weren’t soft or warm, and I snapped my hand back with a smile. 

The room was blue, I think; more windows spanned the walls of the bedroom than an actual expanse of drywall. The spindles of the bed were high and came together only a hair from the ceiling with white satin draped past the plush duvet. My fingers grazed the stitches in the duvet cover. He was behind me. 

I figured we would get accustomed to this house in a few hours. 

We would get accustomed to each others’ bodies again in the meantime.

First, his hands raised to my waist like they did so often.

Then he spun me around violently; that same gentleness must have run thin from our hours of travel. The sun set behind the horizon already and orange bands through the winter clouds were the only light in the dim room.

He kissed me again and without being able to see, my sense of touch was heightened to the max.

My back hit the bed and my pants slid down; I wasn’t sure which came first. The next thing I knew, he was over me, and his hand supported himself next to my head. I only made out his silhouette as my hands touched every part of it. 

“Oh fuck—“ he gasped when my hands harshly invaded the top of his pants before he could remove them himself. I couldn’t not say his name; at this point it was a habitual moan for me.

He kissed my neck and shoved my arms to the bed on either side of me. I didn’t even try to stop the embarrassing sounds that poured from me when he harshly fucked his hips into me at the same time that his teeth hooked on my skin. Now he could leave his mark. I knew he suffered the past month not being able to leave his love marks all over my body for people to see for the sake of photos. I yanked his shirt off forcefully before he dove back into tasting my skin.

He needed to make it up to me. There was a month of aggression, possession and need to touch, to claim. 

“Fuck me,” I demanded. His breath hitched in his throat and the pressure from his hips doubled. “Fuck me so hard, Colby. I swear to God—“

I screamed when he suddenly pushed into me and didn’t give me a second to process.

”No need to beg, baby,” he hummed; his voice darkly quiet in my hair. I didn’t remember when he pulled himself from his underwear or when he moved mine. It was all too fast. He fucked the moans out of me. I thought my vision went blurry.

He raised to his feet and I realized that this was the second time we hardly made it to the bed since being married. 

“Feel so good,” I whispered with moans broken by his thrusts.  

“Get up,” he demanded. I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. It was all too much. “Get up,” Colby spat and his hand linked around my neck and he yanked me up. I gasped and open mouthed kisses shared between our panting breaths. I rolled my hips into him and his eyes shut tightly.

”Turn over.”

Shaking gasps poured from me from the fire lit butterflies that those simply words shoved down my throat. I turned over. My knees almost fell to the floor, but he hoisted me up and shoved back into me.

”Oh my god, Colby!” And a loud lengthen moan streamed from him. I balled the blankets in my fists when he raised one of my knees onto the edge of the bed for a better angle. 

I didn’t just see blurry, stars and colors swirled behind my eyes as well.

”Holy shit, my pretty wife, taking me so well.” I could have passed out from his words alone. Then his fingers grabbed me by the roots of my hair.

He yanked. My back bent backwards and I felt him push kisses and moans against my head, my neck. God, it was so rough too. It had only been a month since the last time he fucked me with that desperation of wanting to leave a piece of him inside, but it felt like the first. His other hand left bruises and purple crescent moons in my hips, my ass.

”Fucking hell—Get up, lay on the bed,” he finally broke and pulled out of me. So of course I scrambled to lay my head on the pillows naturally if it meant he wouldn’t be inside of me again until I obeyed. I watched as he grabbed things from his bag. “Will you give me your wrists?”

”Fuck,” I gasped and my hands shot above my head. “Yes, yes, yes.” And he laughed at my enthusiasm. He tugged my shirt off. 

A gasp sucked through his teeth fast enough that I knew they burned from the chill.

Even in the dark, his eyes devoured the way my fair skin contrasted with the dark lingerie that laced over my chest. He yanked my pants off the rest of the way and his eyes fell lower.

”You wore this all day?” He gasped.

”I put it on when I went to the bathroom in the airport.” A deep breath slowly left him. Then he leaned over and clicked on the lamp that sat on the table next to the bed.

The orange glow drenched my body, and I writhed under his intense gaze. I knew he ripped the thick lace apart in his mind. I waited and waited for him to actually do it.

Instead, he grabbed something he laid on the bed a second ago. The world stopped spinning when he lifted his wine red tie and wrapped it around my hands and a portion of the frame of the bed below the headboard. My heart was in my throat; the same tie he wore when he sealed our marriage with a kiss in front of our closest friends and family was now the fabric that tied me down to his bed. Our bed. It didn’t matter what physical bed we were in; it was ours.

”Pull, baby,” he sighed. The way his voice was smooth like he talked me to sleep as if he wasn’t tying me down thinking of all the ways he could rip my clothes off. I tested the makeshift cuffs but we knew it didn’t matter; he was entirely proficient in tying me down.

Fingers started at my throat and they painfully slowly dragged down my skin. Chills waved down my cold skin in their wake, and he rounded my heat and followed the band of lace that dipped an inch lower down my rib cage. The strap of matching lace around my waist that hooked onto my matching underwear were what his eyes drowned on next. He tugged on one of the stretchy bands that connected them and snapped it back. I winced.

”You’re going to kill me,” he simply said. I nodded like that’s what I intended. 

I held my breath when he picked up my vibrator from the bed.

”Colby—“

”Sh,” he said with finality. The vibrator hummed to life. “You’re not about to tell me what to do, right?” I shook my head furiously.

He shoved it against me over the lace.

I gasped and my back arched. His hand held my side; thumb stroked across the lace.

”So fucking hot, holy shit,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

”Why-Why are you holding back?” I moaned.

”You don’t want me to? I won’t be nice.”

”Tear me apart, Colby.” His eyes darkened, unblinking. “Do you not want to use me? Claim your wife?” His nails jutted into my skin and I gasped a moan.

He turned the vibrator onto the highest setting.

I screamed. My eyes rolled to black as the pleasure washed over me—more so drowned me under tons of ocean weight—and he firmly held my hips down and pressed it tighter against me.

”You want me to use you?” My skin crawled. His voice still hardly trespassed a whisper. “How could I expect anything else from my slutty wife, hm? Tied to my bed, dressed like a whore, and begging for me and teasing me with that filthy mouth?” 

“Colby—“ I gasped with a shaking seriousness.

”What? Realizing you bit off more than you could chew?”

”Colby—“ I warned him, loudly this time.

”Cum,” he demanded. “You wanna act like my slut? Then cum for me.” 

That’s what I warned him about; I was too glad that he demanded from me what I couldn’t control.

My climax blinded me and the pleasure only lasted for a breath before overstimulation stung me. He didn’t budge though. Not as I writhed, kicked, and tried to twist away from him.

”You fucking kick me again and I’m tying your legs down too.” I couldn’t even respond to that jeer. His voice picked up now and a sick part of me couldn’t get enough of it.

“Please,” I begged. “Can’t breathe—“

”You know our safe word,” he teased. My mouth closed. He scoffed. “What I fucking thought. Just a dumb slut who wants me to ruin her.”

“I’ll be so-be so good for you, please! Your fingers—Give me your fingers, please!”

”God you sound so pretty crying for me to fill you,” he sighed as his head lulled to the side. Completely enthralled; his eyes only blinked as much as necessary.

Moving my underwear to the side just enough for his fingers, Colby’s lips parted as he teased my slick entrance.

”Plea—“ He pushed three inside of me. “Oh shit,” I gasped. “Oh shit, yes, yes please.”

”You love it, hm? Love it when I fill you? Fuck you senseless?”

”Yes! I love it, I love it so much.” I tightened around him when the waves of pleasure built again. He shook his head quickly before the words even started.

”Don’t cum.”

”What?” I gasped. “Col—“

“No, I said don’t cum. You told me you wanted me to fill you and fuck you, so how about you take it first? Then maybe I’ll be nice if you cry hard enough.”

He wasn’t wrong. Tears already flooded my eyes.

Colby leaned over me. His lips hovered just out of reach. They parted as if he breathed too heavily to contain himself, and a parted smile shined down at me when I couldn’t gather myself. I whined when I couldn’t kiss him or touch him or reach him. I could only feel him the way he wanted me to.

”Please,” I gasped quietly.

”Please what?” His soft voice whispered. My eyes shut tightly, a tear fell. I wouldn’t be able to see that cute smile and listen to that gentle tone without imagining his fingers fucking me harshly and his other hand pinning a violent vibrator against me.

”Let me cum.”

”You’re not demanding me to let you cum, are you?” He asked as his eyebrows furrowed with question.

”N-No, please, Colby, please let me cum on your fingers, please.”

“Aw you sound so sweet, baby, trying to sound like my good girl?” The teasing made it unbearable. Yes, the vibrator made me lose my sense of self, but that venomous teasing gave it to Colby. Everything that I am was in his hands, his control.

“Yes! Been so good for you let me-let me cum already I can’t-I can’t control it—“

”Good thing you’re not supposed to,” he said. “I’m the one who tells you when to cum, okay?”

”Yes-Yes Sir, you-you—Please! I’m so good for you, wait-wait for you—“ I lost control of my voice.

The pain from the overstimulation dissipated.

My hands didn’t pull on the restraint anymore.

Colby kissed me sweetly. His lips and tongue left soft kisses down my neck.

”Yeah, that’s right, good girl,” he whispered calmly. He moaned and looked down in between us before he rose to his knees again. “You’re so good for me, so beautiful, so perfect. Fucking cum—oh my god—cum for me, baby,” he finally told me. And I let go.

I moaned his name and I fully relaxed into it, into the pain and the pleasure, and everything he gave me. I knew I drenched him. I added to our mess. I couldn’t tell if he lost control of himself or if I blacked out, but the next thing I knew, he finally filled me again.

”Holy shit—Colby—“ I cried. Finally his moans met my ears, and I almost crashed into that pool of pleasure all over again.

He fucked me as harshly as his fingers just had, and I watched his sweaty face twist in pleasure through blurry tears. 

His free hand moved to my throat; his forearm rested on my chest for support. I whispered his name. Another warning.

”You going to cum one more time for me, my love?” He gasped breathlessly. “I’m so close, will you cum with me?” I nodded quickly even though I didn’t want this to end. I lost track of time when his body made itself home in mine. ”Oh shit!” He finally broke and raised himself to his knees. 

I watched as he raced a hand through his hair; fingers tugging at the roots as his eyes watched where he entered me.

”Cumming—“ I cried and his eyes flicked to mine for a moment.

The height of my orgasm hit me then he pulled out. I rode it out on the vibrator as his moans became music in my ears. He finished himself off; painted me with his release.

It took work for me to hold my eyes open. Between the pleasure and the way he looked painting me with his cum, I couldn’t really believe there was a heaven better than this one.

And he turned the vibrator off.

He sat on his knees in between my useless legs and panted. 

I didn’t object when he grabbed his phone from his pants pocket and took a flashed photo high enough to capture his chest down to my ruined body and my hands tied up to the bed. I opened my eyes when the flash was over and he fell over me; hand supported him next to my head. He showed me the photo with bated breath.

My throat coiled in on itself at the disgusting filth he captured. He was still enticingly hard, flushed pink, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from the sight of his cum ruining my lingerie. My mouth watered at the pearly streaks of white that contrasted on the black lace and black ink on my fair skin under the lingerie. The red of his tie only enhanced the flush over my skin. Thin faintly black tears raced down my face.

I was a mess.

A disgusting mess that somehow made my knees weak all over again.

”You’re such a good artist, husband.” The phone fell to the blanket under us as he burst out laughing.

His thumb linked under my chin when he kissed the life out of me.

”Needed to at least put my signature on my work, yeah?” I laughed back at him and he planted more kisses on me. Then he untied my hands. 

They fell to the bed and my eyes widened. I still hadn’t gained much control over my body.

”It’s okay,” he whispered and brushed my hair, my sides.

”I know,” I sighed as I rose from my subspace. 

“I’m right here, love. Always right here.” He kissed my skin as I came to.

”Is it gross that I don’t really want to shower?” Colby laughed again.

”I’m not sure,” he teased and sat back to his knees to look at my body again. “I mean, if you take a shower with me I’ll wash you for you.”

”Yeah, with your tongue like you did this morning?” A fond smile.

”I’ll wash you, I’ll touch you, and I’ll make you feel good however you want, my wife.” I smiled. We both couldn’t get used to—get over—the titles.

”Fine, then carry me to the bathroom, my husband.” 

✧˖*°࿐

Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

[d3arapril]

modern!abby headcanons

a sfw ver because i can’t get over the fact that abby isn’t real. Goodnight

⭐️ safe for all audiences. my inbox is open! any feedback, ideas or general chat is welcome <3

abby loves loving and she loves to be loved.

she loves her friends, her family and she loves you the most. she even thinks she loves the old, kind man that ran the small bookstore she’d been visiting since she was young

having lots of people around her is super important to her, she has a big heart and even though she looks like a lion she’s really just a little baby house cat that wants to make people happy <3

she’s a bit of a people pleaser sometimes. like she goes our of her way to do things for people even if she really doesn’t want to but she’s working on it 💪🏽

loves being around you but also loves time to herself to work out, read and drool on her pillow during a particularly deep sleep without being mocked by you every morning

ABBY SLEEPS LIKE A LOG. this bitch does not move during her sleep, like you could literally scream bloody murder and she’d barely flinch. she also sleeps on her front sometimes and has her face in the pillow ??? you often wonder if she’s even alive and breathing (she is) (she has little to no trauma and jerry is alive in my world so she doesn’t get nightmares etc. i want the best for her &lt;;3)

i think she’s very particular about looking after herself/keeping clean etc and it’s a super big thing for her. although she’s fairly masc presenting don’t be fooled, shes a lil girly girl deep deep down

her hair is long and healthy because she never uses heat and uses hair masks, she looks after her skin and uses the ordinary products (they work for her ok!), she exfoliates and shaves her legs frequently bc she feels like they look more muscular when they’re smooth and she enjoys feeling like a dolphin

she’s always got her hair in that damn braid and you try convince her to do other styles but she basically refuses

“you don’t like it?” she’s whining, faking it of course - she knows you like it. “no abs i love it, just wish you’d wear your hair down more. suits you”

“well that’s reserved for only you, babe” the soft kiss she presses to your temple and the brush of her hands against your hips makes you want to braid her hair forever until your fingers seize up

i feel like abby doesn’t have much of a dress sense lmao like girl just wears plain clothes and calls it a day. basically how she dresses in game but just less dirty and more kind of.. modern and put together. not the ugly brown boots tho ❌

she wears doc marten boots and adidas sambas. has 3 different pairs of sambas actually

prefers alcohol over drugs. she likes to get drunk in moderation and she can sink so much tequila (she blames manny and nora and says they are bad influences… abby is the one pouring the shots🙄) and she becomes a lot louder and clingy when she’s drunk and thinks she can dance. she can’t.

i kind of mentioned this in my nsfw hc’s but abby probably has an old like iphone 5c or something cos she doesn’t really care about upgrading it

girl hates video games so she probably isn’t big on tech in general. as long as she can call and text she doesn’t care too much

“you may as well just get a nokia, abby..” “what am i? a drug dealer? 🙄”

sticking to the theme, abby doesn’t really use social media that much. she refused to download tiktok because she didn’t want to fall into the trap of endless scrolling (she fell into said trap approx 20 minutes after downloading the app. now it’s “babe have you seen what i sent you yet?” every 10 minutes)

doesn’t care about/keep up with trends etc, confused when u ask her about the roman empire

“i mean, i’ve read about it? what kind of question is that??”

does have a burner instagram acc that she follows u and a few of her closest friends on (not mel)

also uses snapchat every so often to send u gym pics and u get excited thinking it’ll be a mirror pic of her flexing or something but instead it’s just an extreme close up of her sweaty ass red face with the caption ‘Help 🫠’

has an album in her photos called ‘Progress’ where she tracks her gains 🥰 its ur fav and u ask to look at the pics all the time 🥰 shes ur big muscly baby 🥰

abs can get a lil bit hot headed and irate sometimes so u argue every now and then but it’s never anything major, and she always buys u flowers and grovels until you’ve made up anyways

she usually just goes to the gym if she’s feeling some type of way and works out until she’s on the verge of passing out to make her feel better (you told her that she should deal with her anger better. she told you that she know’s what she’s doing…)

calls you babe but that’s kinda it, also likes to be called babe

likes to give u massages and run you a bath… and then gets in the bath with u and takes up basically all of the space

when u went on ur first holiday together she had to use the sicky bag on the plane bc of her fear of heights :(

she’s getting better now tho, just squeezes her eyes shut and holds your hand until the bones almost break… she then falls asleep for basically the entire flight and drools onto her neck pillow lol

refuses to watch anything but american dad at bedtime bc she really enjoys it for some reason

she looks after you with all she has and would go to the end of the earth for you if she could. there’s no one else like her

[che444]

Things I’ve Manifested Recently ♡

Hey baby dolls, I haven’t written in a little bit cause I’ve been focused on honing in my conscious manifestation skills and really listening to myself, reading, and honestly getting some sleep.

I’d like to share some things I’ve manifested while I was away!

1. My SPs texting me whenever I think of them

2. Manifested a toxic friendship out of my life

3. Manifested LOTS of new friends!

4. Lots of money

5. My favorite foods

6. New crazy adventures

7. New SPs, I see them and I like them, I decide that they want me, next thing I know they ask for my Snapchat, recently it happened in the matter of 3 minutes.

8. Magnetism and extreme popularity - everywhere I go, people tell me how much they want to be my friend or how cool they think I am

9. Hanging out with my friends a lot more and doing fun things such as a Harry Potter themed night!

10. Shifted to my fame DR!!!

I hope you all continue to work on yourselves and build the life you deserve, never stop. I am so proud of you, and I am cheering you on daily, even if I can’t make it to every dm or ask, I am so proud of you. Be proud of yourself in your continuous learning, be proud of your small accomplishments, be proud of yourself in the days you struggle to understand, because you are growing, and that is all you must do. Continue to grow like the flowers you are.

Until next time,

Luv che 🌷

[justangelheree]

escapism-matt sturniolo (18+)

masterlist

warnings: drinking, cursing, kissing, break up, partying, drugs, use of pet names, choking, creampie, unprotected sex (please wrap it before u tap it), oral(f receiving), confession?, little bit of soft dom matt not proofread like always🙉

summary: reader gets broken up with, after a little drinking she ends up at matt’s door. will he give in to her thoughts?

i wake up with tear stained cheeks and my hair all messed up. i get out of bed looking at myself in the mirror. god i look a mess over some guy. i sigh as i get up texting my friends we’re doing out tonight and they all agreed.

as i got into the shower i was just thinking was i upset that he broke up with me or that i wouldn’t have a boyfriend anymore? i laughed as i got out. i was still hurt but it is what it is. i needed to get forget about him and move on.

as i got ready i put on my favorite black dress that my ex would never let me wear. felt so good to do whatever i want and god did i look good. it was strapless so my boobs were pushed up and my figure looked amazing.

i sat down at my vanity putting on my makeup and doing my hair. i just have forgot how much of a bad bitch i was because damn i look good. i facetimed one of my best friend nala telling her i was ready to go and ill be on my way to her house.

as i hopped in my car connecting my phone to aux playing the hills by the weekend turning the radio up. i got to my friends house getting out the car an walking in i didn’t need to knock. she gave me a hug “girl im sorry his ass broke up with you he was an asshole anyway. moving on to bigger and better things” she spoke.

“and i hope bigger dicks too” i replied giggling. “you ready to go!” she said excitedly. i nodded as she ordered the uber. as the uber arrived she locked her door and we walked outside into the uber. “everyone should already be on there way” i said looking up from my phone. she nodding sliding some pill on her tongue i’ve never seen before. i shook my head smiling at her knowing she was in for a ride tonight.

about an hour later im a couple shots deep since my group of friends kept ordering them an who was i to say no. my body was now almost numb but in a good way, a freeing way.

on the dance floor me and nalas bodies pressed together as we danced to music in the background. nala grabbed my phone from my pocket going to snapchat and recording me bending down and twerking on her. she posted it to my story giggling giving me my phone back.

i giggle back singing along to whatever song was playing as i walked to the bar. i got another drink sitting on a stool scrolling through instagram when a certain someone’s post came up. matt sturniolo a guy i used to flirt and hook up with before i got a boyfriend and man did he look extra fucking fine.

all of a sudden i got hot and sweaty as a wet patch grew in between my thighs thinking about our past experiences. i started to get needy for something i didn’t even know. i needed to go see him. he wouldn’t even be shocked if i pulled up to his house because we used to always show up out of nowhere just to fuck. god was i really this drunk?

i called nala over to me and said i was gonna leave and she gave me a hug goodbye before sliding a bag of pills and a condom into my purse i laughed at her as she walked back to our friends.

matt.

matt

matt.

was all that rung through my head. i hoped into my uber debating it i should take the pills but then i realized girl wtf no. it was hard to not move around to create friction being drunk and horny.

the uber parked right outside his apartment i opened the door as i grabbed my bag and walked to the door. i knocked on the door hope his brothers weren’t home. the boy i’ve been needy for half the night answers the door.

“princess what are you doing here?” matt spoke rubbing his eyes. i could melt just from his words. “i just came from the club and i need you matty” i said quietly. he nodded as he moved out the doorway so i could walk in. he shut the door turning me around to face him.

“need me to help you baby” he softly said. i nodded my head as i whined. “come on mattys here to help” he whispered as he took me to his room. he shut the door behind him locking it.

as he stepped closer to me he wrapped he’s hand around my throat connecting our lips. i walked back letting myself fall onto his mattress not breaking the kiss. his arms were on the sides of me keeping himself up. his lips found my neck lightly sucking as i moan feeling super sensitive from the alcohol.

“gonna make you feel good” matt spoke as he reached his hands to the bottom of my dress lifting it over my head. he groaned as my body was on display infront of him realizing i only had underwear on.

his fingers touched my folds through my underwear “already wet baby, you been thinking about me doing this?” he questioned. “fuck.. yes matt been needing you to touch me all night” i answered.

he slide my panties down my leg as i lifted my hips up to help him. “been missing this pussy so bad. too bad your shitty boyfriend had to take it from me” he spoke rubbing my clit in circles i moaned out at his actions. “i’m not with him anymore matt.. he broke up with me” i struggled to get out.

“im sorry princess i don’t know why he would ever part from this pussy” he said dipping his head down connecting his month to my pussy. i slide my hand to his head lightly gripping his hair. he moans against me send vibrations threw me.

i rock my hips against his face as a euphoric feeling rising in my stomach. he pushes my torso down so i’m stuck in place as he just devours me. “fuck.. matt keep going” i moan out back arching against the bed.

his hand reached reached up to grab my boobs kneading them. the overstimulation of my body sent the pit of my stomach out on to his tongue. he pulled away licking his lips. “best pussy i’ve ever tasted” i smiled as i pulled him back up kissing his now swollen lips.

i reached my hands underneath his shirt pulling it above his head taking him in. “god am i drunk or did you get finer?” i question giggling. he laughed shaking his head reaching down to take his pants off.

it felt like he was taking ages to get undressed so u spoke up. “matt please..” he aligned himself infront of me. “please what princess?” he gently spoke. “i don’t want to feel how i did last night so matt just take this pain away!” i raised my voice slighty at him.

“ill give you what you want but dont raise your voice at me. every. again.” he stated wrapping his hand around my throat before pushing himself into me. only response i had was a pornagrapic moan coming out my mouth.

“such a good fucking girl” he said as i clenched around him. my hands find his neck bringing him close to my face sharing breaths. his thumb slid onto my bottom lip as i open my mouth and let his finger slip into my lips on my light sucking his finger and swirling my tongue around it.

he groaned as he kept his finger into my mouth holding my jaw bucking his hips deeper into me. my moan vibrating his thumb that rested on my tongue. his mouth taking the place where his thumb once was. “fuck matt give me it all.. please” i said digging my nails into his skin.

he obeys putting all of his dick in me i whine out from his actions. “you got it. take it like a good girl.” he spoke throwing his head back. “fuck.. fuck.. matt!” before i could say anything pleasure rushed over me as i dragged my nails down matt’s back.

he moaned against my neck thrusting into me gripping my hips. “i’m almost there baby doing so well for me.” he whispered as i whined from being overstimulated. a few more thrust and a warm liquid was now filling me up. his moans were being covered by my neck, i reached up to rub his face as he came down from his high.

“can we just stay like this for now?” i spoke softly. “anything you want baby” he whispered back. “one thing i will let you know is that im never letting you or this pussy go ever.” he said wrapping my legs around him as he reposition us. i smiled as i cuddle into him getting sleepy.

if you want to be tagged lmk!

tags: @lustfulslxt @oversturn @ilovemattsturn @oliviasturniolo21 @wh0szjoanna @flowerxbunnie

a/n: so sorry if i forgot to tag people some of my posts i can’t see comments but i hoped you enjoyed! also sorry it took me forever i am school and im still in the process of unpacking but two new smuts will be out soon. as always i🤍u

[storiesoflilies]

school bus love (4)

synopsis: a series of successes, but it can’t always be sunshine and rainbows, can it?

pairing: teen!toji fushiguro x teen!f!reader.

warnings: none.

a/n: i’m done with my exams and i’m freeee! to celebrate, i’ve dropped more lily lore hehe. apologies if this isn’t the best, i’m so so tired, but i really wanted to post today! enjoy my darlings xo

drabble series // part 3 // part 5

toji fushiguro was an exceptionally hard nut to crack.

throughout the past two months, they had sent each other daily streaks. as per usual, she sent her usual quirky streaks to try and pique his interest. to her credit, it worked quite a number of times, as they’d had quite a few conversations over snapchat. they hadn’t been flirting, but it was still progress, and she was absolutely ecstatic every time she managed to crack toji’s enigmatic shell and draw him in.

however, they never spoke in person on the bus.

“you’re both bizarre,” her bus buddy had commented in private, rolling her eyes. “how can you snap each other every day and then not even speak actual words?”

she bit her lip nervously, swinging her heavy backpack higher onto her shoulder. “i don’t know! i’m too shy, maybe he is too?”

her bus buddy sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, clawing for her revision notes from somewhere inside her tote bag. exam season was in full swing, and having any sort of distraction was far from ideal. she was studying hard, but with thoughts of toji rippling in the back of her mind like a tantalizing fruit swinging high up on a tree, just out of reach.

she noticed that he often deflected the conversation back to her whenever she asked him slightly more personal questions. toji seemed to more interested in hearing about her old life back home, about the way of life and culture. while it was nice that he took an interest, his deflections and apparent unwillingness to reveal much about himself made her seriously doubt if toji had any sort of feelings for her.

chasing after him was maddening, and still so very addictive.

however, she had to decide when it was time to go cold turkey and cut her losses, but that time wasn’t just yet.

a movie was playing in the background as she peacefully lounged in the living room after a particularly long day at school. the rain hammered down outside, creating a pleasant hum of droplets hitting the roof, and she snuggled up further into the couch with her steaming mug of tea.

“so, how’s the handsome boy doing?” her mom suddenly perked up, sipping a glass of fizzy water. “the one at the bus stop.”

“oh, toji? we’re still talking.”

“you’re still just talking? he hasn’t asked you on a date yet?”

“mom, don’t. it’s exam time, i’m not thinking about that right now, and i bet he isn’t either.”

“alright, alright! i’m just saying, maybe you should take the initiative instead of waiting for him.”

she contemplated that with a finger placed thoughtfully on her lip. she’d always wanted to be asked on her first date, not the other way around, and it was a sentiment she wanted to hold on to for as long as possible. moreover, she wasn’t even totally sure that toji liked her back.

the plan had to shift; she had to step it up just a notch.

that night, after sending a picture of her midnight snack of avocado on toast and successfully attracting toji’s attention, she laid out the bare bones of a subtle plan. a plan that involved an indirect suggestion that should hopefully end with him asking her to see the latest avengers movie with him.

haha, so true. have you seen endgame yet?

toji fushiguro: nah not yet, wbu?

nah, not yet. i rlly want to tho 🙃

toji fushiguro: ah yeha, me and my friends are going on tuesday

well… fuck.

oh nice!! haha no spoilers though

toji fushiguro: hmm oh well now you mention it

toji fushiguro: nah, dw i wont i’m not that much of a dick haha

yeah lol, well hopefully i can see it before i go back home

that was a good nudge, right? it wasn’t too subtle. if he liked her, then surely he would take the initiative now.

toji fushiguro: oh when r you goin back?

a week after my last exam, can’t wait lol

toji fushiguro: i bet, it’ll be so much better than here

ah it’s not so bad here haha, wbu? what’s your plans for the summer?

toji fushiguro: so how hot does it get over there in summer?

she felt deflated, like a giant hot air balloon loosing all its shape and spluttering into a mess as it hurtled to the ground. why was toji so reluctant to answer such simple questions? it wasn’t like she was asking him to reveal the deepest, dirtiest secrets about himself. her heart was only half in the conversation after that, and she indulged his questions for a while before it fizzled out, like a sizzling party sparklers doused in an ice-cold splash of reality.

would this crush soon fizzle out in the same way too?

general taglist: @tadabzzzbee @wannapizzamymindposts @stromynight

school bus love taglist: @badbyeyoongi

side note: i told my boyfriend i was writing this little drabble series about us, and his exact response was, “ew, why?” he doesn’t like to admit that we were cute. he’s a big grump, but i love him very much lol.

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[aworldinsideaperson]

Candy Cane Kisses

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Plus Size!AFAB!Reader

Summary: Candy Cane Kisses takes us to a Texas ranch on Christmas night, Jake “Hangman” Seresin is watching his sister’s best friend from across the room as he nurses the bottle of beer in his hand. His Bambi is somehow more beautiful than she’d been when they met three years prior, the last time they’d seen each other until only two nights before and he wonders if she can still taste him like that candy cane between her lips. 

Warnings: 18+, No use of Y/N (Reader is nicknamed Bambi), No happy ending (for now). There is talk of food, relatively explicit talk of sex as well as some pretty graphic foreplay/kissing with the reader being described with vaginal anatomy but the actual smut happens behind closed doors. 

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N:

First: This is part of @sailor-aviator’s Christmas Writing Challenge but it is also a companion piece to a longer story/series I’m working on so while there is no happy ending in this piece the overall story, once completed, will have a happy ending. But once again, THIS PIECE DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING so read at your own risk. 

Second: The smut was supposed to be in the story but I felt like it didn’t need it but if people want to read it separately I might consider finishing it and posting it.

Third and probably most important: Anything you’d like me to tag as warning or in a description or anything please let me know. I haven’t really posted anything longer than a couple hundred words since like 2016 so it’s been a while and I know fandom and fanfiction has changed quite a bit since I’ve been an active member of it so please bear with me while I get my bearings. 

Sailor-Aviator’s Christmas Writing Challenge

December 23rd, 2013

Sometimes he replayed that kiss in his head. Sometimes he berated himself for not giving more. Sometimes he imagines pressing his lips to parts of her that he’d never seen. He knew She was older now, they both were, he’d seen the pictures on instagram and facebook, the occasional snapchat with drunk hazy eyes and the same smile she’d had the very first time he’d met her. It’d been more than three years since they’d seen each other in person but even from across a crowded bar with Christmas music blasting and chatter at an all time high, Jake could still hear her laugh and when his eyes shot in the direction of what had once been his favorite sound he knew then and there he was a goner. Even as he makes his way across the room to stand beside her at the bar he knows it’s a mistake but he’s thought about her for three years, and how much hurt could a conversation really do.

“Bambi.” A simple word, a nickname given to her that very first day as she watched the movie for the very first time with tears in her eyes. At the sound her eyes drifted closed, tension leaving her shoulders as she let out a breath before looking over to him with a smile. 

A conversation. That’s what he’d told himself. What harm could it do to just say hello, just ask how she was doing, just talk like the old friends they were. It wasn’t until an hour later when he stood inside her bedroom with his hand in her hair and his cock down her throat that he realized maybe his first instinct had been right. Maybe he shouldn’t have followed the sound of her voice, maybe he should have left the bar the second he heard a laugh that made his heart skip, maybe he shouldn’t have come back home at all.

December 24th, 2013

Jake sat on the arm of the couch, his cousin Isaac standing over him gesturing wildly with his unoccupied hand as he recounted a story Jake assumed would be interesting if he could pay attention to anything other than the sound of that laugh from across the room. The cold bottle swung between his fingers nearly empty. If he finished it he’d have to get another, if he went to get another he’d have to walk past her, if he walked past her he was sure she’d smell of that sweet gingerbread lotion she’d slathered on her hands, the same as the night before. He’d have to come face to face with her and that candy cane between her soft lips. He tried not to think about those lips, tried to listen to Isaac talk about the latest ponzi scheme he’d gotten himself involved with, tried not to remember the way her lips felt wrapped around his- 

“Dude I’m serious this would be a great investment opportunity! And I know you’ve got some capital, what with that military salary and all.” 

Isaac’s eyes were wide with excitement  but Jake’s face was contorted in pity as he sighed. “I don’t know Isaac.”

With that his face fell. “Why not man?”

Opening his mouth to give the older man an answer he really didn’t have, except to say that some guy name Brad has Isaac by the balls, Jake was saved by the voice of his mother as she quickly approached the pair.

“Jacob,” She started, laying a hand on his shoulder and looking softly at him, usually a sign she was about to ask for physical labor. “Do you think you could help Bambi bring the rest of the cookies from the basement? We’re running low up here and you know if someone doesn’t go down with her she’s gonna try to carry them all up by herself.”

He sighed but he didn’t argue. “Sure thing Mama,” He stood and clapped his cousin on the shoulder as he walked away. “I’ll catch up with you later Isaac.”

“Okay but seriously think about what I was tellin’ ya.”

With his back turned Jake nodded as he rolled his eyes. “Absolutely.” He knew would absolutely not be thinking about it as he took a few long strides towards the basement door and made his way down the steps.

The Seresin’s basement had never been a place to fear. Finished long before even their first child arrived Jake had always known it as a playroom, a game room, a movie room, whatever his family had needed it to be. He could hear his nieces and nephews to the right of the stairs, no doubt playing with the collection of toys new and old that lived in the too big toy chest in the corner of what could have been a third living room. To his left he could hear the rustling of plastic and clanging of aluminum in what was originally intended to be a second full bar for his dad but his mother had taken over as christmas cookie and bulk grocery storage. Once fully down the steps he could see her then, his back to him as she tried to stack two trays of his mother’s treats on top of one another and he smirked, that was just like her.  “I know you’re not trying to carry all those containers up by yourself.” He made his way toward the woman maneuvering the stack to goodies to get the best angle, gently laying his hand on her lower back. 

Relaxing at his touch Bambi looked up at Jake with a smile of her own. “I’m an independent woman who only takes one trip, especially with stairs involved.”

“Well as independent as I know you are imagine the hell mama would give me if she knew I let you carry them all up yourself. So will you spare me the wrath?”

Bambi rolled her eyes, replying with a sarcastic chuckle. “Well I suppose I could take pity on you given how well you ate pussy last night.”

The man’s shoulders dropped, “About last night,” He started, the room becoming thick with silence. “It was-“ He couldn’t finish, taking his hand off of Bambi and placing both of them on the counter as he turned from her slightly. He didn’t even know what he should say, didn’t know what the truth was, didn’t know if he should tell the truth even if he knew it.

Bambi nodded and sighed, back straightening as she toyed with the edge of the wrapped cookie trays. “A one time thing, yeah, nothing, I get it and I don’t plan on telling anyone. Not even Mary. She’ll lose her mind if she found out we almost fucked.” 

‘Fucked’ the word didn’t feel right. She’d never felt anything like what she felt the night before, memories of his hands and lips trailing over every inch of her body, every square of skin an erogenous zone with his touch. Fucked was something that happened after heated arguments and on couches in frat houses and in the back of cars. She wondered if last night, even though he’d never been inside her, she wondered if that’s what sex was supposed to be like, still making her feel a need for him almost 24 hours after the fact.

“Good. I mean. I just didn’t want to give you the impression that it was more than it was.” He felt sick at his own words. ‘More than what it was’ what was it exactly? Two people who once knew each other, who’d once been friends, giving each other pleasure? No feelings? As if he didn’t still think about her once a day from sharing one single kiss three years prior. 

The silence feels heavy around them but continuing to plaster a smile on her face Bambi looks up at her best friend’s brother. “I get it.” She starts. “I’m not a teenager with a crush anymore. You may have been the first person I loved but there have been others since. Other kisses, other blow jobs, other sex partners. There will be others after you too.” 

Every muscle in his body was tight as he nodded. “Okay then. It’s all sorted then.” Jake’s stomach churned as he tried not to think of her underneath, on top of, in front of, with other men. He wasn’t neive, he knew last night that the blow job she’d given him had been too good to be the first time she’d done it, someone had instructed her in the past. She knew where she wanted to be kissed and touched and she hadn’t been afraid to move his hands or his mouth or ask for more or less. He knew those things came from experiences. He just hated hearing her say it. Or maybe he hated the thought of after, that there was now an after him. That someone else would touch her and be touched by her and she’d instruct them on how to make her feel the way he had. Make her feel the way he had when he knew no one would ever make him feel the same way she did.

“Yeah, now let’s get these treats up there before people start nibbling on your mom’s gingerbread houses.” With a smile on her face Bambi grabbed the top tray and quickly turned her back to Jake and made her way back upstairs.

She was trapped. Completely and totally trapped. There was no possible way out of the conversation with the man in front of her. She’d tried everything, giving uncomfortable responses, not responding at all, she’d even tried walking away and he’d just followed her. Bambi had met Billy Seresin a few times. He was always too loud and too touchy, he smelled like he smoked 3 packs a day and he never ever shut up. All she had done was give him a polite smile as she was walking past him and into the sitting room, intent on cornering Mary-Ann to pester her about the man who’d shown up to the party as her boyfriend and left 30 minutes prior seemingly losing the title. That had been her plan but of course things hardly seemed to work out the way she expected these last few days especially and nearly 45 minutes later Bambi was sure that if Billy Seresin laid so much as a finger on her again she was going to vomit. But as he raised his hand another slide along her lower back and pulled her closer to him.

“Hey Bill, I’m gonna steal the pretty girl away, hope you don’t mind.” And without waiting for a response Jake led Bambi to the front door, his hand still resting gently on her back.

As they passed the threshold out to the porch her shoulders relaxed as she took in the borderline cold night air. “You are a real hero Jake, if the navy thing doesn’t work out I could whip you up a cape and some spandex, you could go around saving the world from conversations with creeps.” Bambi chuckled as the two settled beside each other on the porch swing, Jake pulling a large blanket from the basket beside them and wrapping it around Bambi’s shoulders.

“Well I’m contractually obligated to the Navy for another few years but afterwards we’ll team up.” His hand rubbed up and down her blanket covered arm a few times before leaning into the back of the swing, his body turned completely towards the woman beside him. “Besides, how was I supposed to let him keep eye fucking you right in front of me.”

“He was not eye fucking me.” Bambi voiced with a roll of her eyes.

“He was,” Jake argued. “I can tell since I’ve done it.”

Turning lifting one knee onto the seat of the swing she turned to completely face Jake. “He’s married to Sarah who’s a fucking dream, no way he’s trying to fuck that up.”

Propping his elbow on the back to their seat, Jake smirked, resting his head on his hand. “You’re way hotter than Sarah.”

“Oh now that’s just a flat lie.” She replied, throwing her head back in laughter.

Lifting his head, Jake let his fingers reach out to slide over a piece of her hair. “I disagree. You’re the hottest woman in any room.” He smirked, giving Bambi an exaggerated wink.

Lulling her head to the side she said his name with a mildly warning tone.

He sighed, throwing his hands up in defense. “Fine I’ll stop saying it. But you can’t make me stop thinking it.” A full genuine smile spread across his face, all the way up to his eyes.

“Sometimes I think you’re too much of a flirt for your own good.” She gave him a gentle shove and her exaggeratedly leaned backwards before sitting up with a laugh.

As the sound of laughter faded Jake admired the woman before him, he’d always thought she was beautiful but the glow of the twinkle lights surrounding the porch made her look ethereal. Even three years later, he’s never gotten over the way he feels around her. For several moments the silence surrounded them, nothing but the light creak of the swing chains and nature. The peacefulness he didn’t expect to be surrounded by was somehow terrifying to him So he filled it. “How’ve you been?”

“Good.” She started, looking at her hands in her lap as she began to pick at the polish. “Mom has been seeing this guy Randy and he’s really nice to her. They’re talking about getting married and moving in together. And Mary bought this new camera and we’re setting up a studio space in the third bedroom of the loft. She’s not sure if she’s going to go back to college with me next fall but I still have plenty of time to convince her.” A soft smile turned up the corners of her lips her eyes still trained toward the fiddling fingers in her lap.

Jake reached out, rubbing his hand slowly over the blanket covering her shoulder. “That’s all great Bam but I asked about you.”

She sighed and then nodded. “Oh, well yeah, yeah. I’m good. I’m good.”

‘You sound unsure.” He pushed.

She reached out her hand to place it on his knee. “No, I'm good. Really.” She assured. “Just not totally used to thinking about it I guess.”

Reaching down to take her hand between both of his, stroking his thumb along her skin. “When’s the last time someone ask how you’ve been doing?”

“About 30 seconds ago.”

Jake looked at her with a warning glare. “Before that, smartass.”

Bambi rolled her head and smiled, her thumb sliding back and forth over Jake’s own calloused knuckles.“You’re the one in the Navy, doing big important things, shouldn’t I be the one asking you how you’re doing?”

Squeezing her hand tightly he gave Bambi a serious look. “You can ask but how you’re doing is no less important than how I’m doing. I’m of the opinion that it’s more important. How can I be okay if I know you’re not?” His question was met with silence and so with a sigh he continued. “I’ve been really good. Made some friends, made some non friends, and I love flying. Have pretty much everything I could ever want. Now you.”

Bambi smiled, giving Jake’s hands a squeeze of her own as she kept her eyes trained on their connected fingers. “I’m good, really. I’m getting my degrees in social work and criminal justice. Victim advocacy is the goal, helping people in similar situations to what Mom and I went through. Things are stressful and I’m scared I’m gonna fail like all the time but I want to help people so badly.” Finally she looked up, tears began to surface in her waterline as she willed them not to fall. “Somewhere out there is a child or a spouse who is going through some of the worst pain of their life and I think about how it felt to be helpless like that and I know I can’t give up.” 

Again, Jake reached out to her, one hand still holding tightly to hers, the other gently brushing a fallen drop from her cheek. “You amaze me Bamb, stronger than me that’s for sure.” A comfortable feeling fell over them as he continued the questioning.“You still in therapy?”

With a smile she nodded, her hand still gripped tightly in Jakes. “Yeah but I’ve been in a pretty good place for a while now so we’ve cut back to once or twice a month with the option for more when I need it. It really helped me to work through a lot of the guilt and anger and sadness. And I can think about it now without wanting to throw up. I still have nightmares but nothing like it used to be.”

Jake grinned at that. “That’s really great. I’m proud of you for sticking with it, I know you were really nervous to be starting it in the first place.”

“Thank you for encouraging me back then, I don’t know if I could have done it without that extra push.” 3 years ago she’d been a girl often afraid of her own shadow. She’d thought she needed to be saved back then but Jake hadn’t been the one to do it. Instead he’d loved her and broken her heart and pushed her to help herself. 

“Of course Bamb I’ve always cared about you, always wanted what’s best for my Bambi.” His hand cupped her cheek, eyes unable to break from hers.

“Jake-“

“I know, I know what we said I just,” He sighed, thumbs gliding softly over the skin of her hand and of her cheek. “I just really miss you.”

“Miss me?”

“Yeah,” Again, silence surrounded them, Jakes eyes dropping to her lips as he continued. “Bambi, about earlier I didn’t-“

“There you are!” Mary-Ann’s interruption pulled the two apart, hands now cold and cheeks warm. “Jake, I told you to interrupt my conversation with Isaac after 3 minutes. I was stuck there forever listening to him talk about whatever bullshit he’s on now. I swear that guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” Mary plopped down in the rocker closest to the swing.

Jake now sat with his feet planted firmly on the porch. “Says the girl about the drop out of college.” He teased.

Mary gasped, turing to her best friend who still had yet to stop reeling. “You told him!?” She exclaimed.

Bambi replied with a soft shrug. “I didn’t know it was a secret.”

With the most sincere puppy dog look she could manage Mary-Ann turned to her brother. “Please don’t tell daddy, he’d be so disappointed in me.”

Jake dropped his shoulders and stood up, placing a hand on his sister’s shoulder.“Oh don’t worry Mary-Ann, he’s already disappointed in you.”

From then on the conversation was nothing but a fit of giggles and insults between the siblings, Bambi still swinging back and forth in a fog as she wondered what he’d been about to say.

The night had slowed, most of his extended family had been long gone before it reached ten and parents retiring upstairs not long after. The house was quiet, the only light coming from the twinkling bulbs strung from corner to corner in every room in the house. Jake sat at the dining room table, his chair cocked slightly in the direction of his companion. He’d had more to drink since earlier in the night, giving his mind a soft haze. At least he thought it was the alcohol, could just as easily be the woman sitting beside him in her red dress, glowing in the soft light. He’d convinced her to have one last drink with him before she walked to Mary-Ann’s apartment over the garage. It’d been nearly an hour ago and the clock was ticking closer to midnight as the two each prolonged the last sip of their drinks.

Bambi reached over, gently patting his hand. “It’s good to have you home Jake. I worry about you a lot.”

Turning his head to look at the table Jake nodded. “I worry about you a lot too.”

“Me?” She chuckled and just like the night before he forgets how to breathe. “I’m not the one spending my days in a flying metal death trap.”

“I still worry about you. We should keep in touch more.” He traces his finger around the opening of his bottle, trying not to make eye contact as she continues to barely laugh at a memory.

“What, my occasional snapchat not enough for you?” She asks.

“Not when I want to hear from you every day.” It then when he finally looks back at her, if he didn’t know her so well he’d think maybe that smile was real and not the fake one she plastered on to keep others at a distance.

“Every day?”

He sighs and nods his head as he once again looks away from the woman beside him. “Yeah. I think about you every day.” He thinks he must be drunk, there is no other way he’d admit something so agonizing, not to himself and certainly not to her.

The silence is palpable as she throws back the last sip of her drink as she stood. “Well I should probably head out.” Her voice is quiet, if he hadn’t been standing beside her so closely he might not have heard it.

“Bambi,” Jake lifted his hand to her cheek, gently stroking her with his thumb as her eyes closed. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Opening her eyes she watches him through her lashes as she turns and presses her lips to his palm. “How’s that?”

“Not really what I had in mind.”

She smirked, “Disappointed?” She asked, thinking back to the very first kiss they’d shared so long ago, her first.

“Just thinking maybe you don’t know how to kiss, someone should really teach you.” He lifted his other hand, steadying her face to look up at him.

“I seem to recall my first teacher being awfully strict about what kisses he could and could not give me.”

His right hand lifted to brush the stray hairs for her face and he nodded. “Let me make that up to you?”

“I thought that’s what last night was supposed to be.”

One side of his mouth twisted up into a smirk, his hand now moving to caress the side of her neck. “I don’t remember finishing the job.”

“You made me cum, your job is done.” The memory of his lips and tongue making her knees weak.

“But it was only once.” He argued.

She was staring at his lips now, heart pounding with anticipation. “Once is more than most.” It was a true statement. She knew too many people lying about orgasms for it not to be.

His thumb stroked between her jaw and ear, eyes watching her as her eyes moved from his lips to his own chartreuse orbs. “I’m not most.” 

Voice hardly above a whisper  “Jake?”

“Yes?”

“Just fucking kiss me.”

Four words. Four fucking words and Jake’s mind had gone blank of all thought. All except one. ‘Bambi’. Slowly he dipped his head, gently pressing his lips to her, the familiar taste of candy cane still on her lips from his mother’s christmas cocoa cocktail. He almost pulled away; almost did the exact thing he’d done three years prior, sparing both of them the heartbreak but as she sighed and he felt her melt into his touch he needed just a little more. 

Their lips moved together, slotting her bottom lips between his and gently sliding the tip of his tongue across it. Her hands reached up to tangle in his hair, the velvet locks sliding through her fingers as he began to pepper kisses first at the corner of her mouth before moving down over her jaw and down her neck causing her to moan at the feeling of his lips against her bare skin.

He smiled as he continued to kiss and lick and gently nip at her neck. Bending slightly at the knee he wrapped his arms about Bambi and lifted her to rest on the dining room table where only hours earlier his family had been gathered. She gasped and her high heels dropped to the floor and her arms now draped over his shoulders. Jake’s smile grew as he dropped his lips to hers once again, slotting himself between her thighs and pulling her to the edge allowing her to feel his length pressed between their bodies. “Do you feel that baby? Do you wanna feel it inside you?” Arrogance heavy in his voice, his lips barely brushing over hers.

Bamni’s face contorted and she whined. “Yes. Jake please please please.”

“No need to beg Bambi, whatever you want, it’s yours.” He spoke with a slight chuckle in his voice though the sound of her begging made him twitch. Again his lips trailed over the skin of her neck then to her shoulder, his hands sliding up her thighs under the red dress he’d spent the night imagining on the floor. His fingers traced over the nylon, attempting to feel every bump and curve and dimple of the flesh underneath.

”I want you to touch me.” Her tone is still begging with his lips trailing over her collar bone. Smirking Jake pulled his mouth from her skin and licked his lips, moving the fingers of his right hand to her core, touching her gently through the layers.

“Oh fuck.” He groaned, feeling her slick against the tips of his fingers. “You are so wet I can feel you through your panties and stockings.” Again he pressed his lips to hers, swallowing the moans the escaped from her lips at even his light and obstructed touch. “Stay the night with me?” He asked, lips still brushing against hers.

With an eggar nod and jagged breath she responded with a simple yes that had Jake’s heart pounding as he pulled her from the table and kissed her deeply before quietly leading her up the stairs and down the hall. He pressed her against the door of his bedroom, his thigh between her legs and her lips against his throat. “Come on baby,” He whispered. “Let me make you feel good.” And with that he pushed his door open and the two stumbled into his childhood bedroom and with a click, locked the door behind them.

It was nearly 5:30 in the morning as the lovers laid in each other's arms, fingers trace patterns over the other’s skin. Jake’s mom would be getting up soon to start Christmas breakfast. His mind reeled with thoughts, a carousel of anxiety, of leaving Bambi, of breaking her heart, breaking his own. Thoughts of his mother’s smirk if his sister’s best friend bound down the stairs with his hand in hers still smelling of sex. His mind filled with thoughts of run, and run, and run. So he ran.

Pulling his arm from around Bambi Jake moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to her. “You should probably get going before everyone gets up.”

She sighed before throwing the covers off and throwing her own legs over the side of the bed. “Yeah, I’d hate to have Mama Seresin see me do the walk of shame. She’d probably start planning the wedding before I made it to the end of the driveway.” She laughed as she gathered her dress and undergarments from the night before, slipping them on with little effort. She felt lighter, tension gone from her shoulders and a permanent smile plastered to her face.

“Bambi, last night, it-“ Jake started but Bambi cut him off, leaning in close for a kiss.

“Was great? I sure thought so.” She said, attempting to finish the sentence in a way he hadn’t meant to.

Jake pulled away, his eyes trained directly to his feet as he spoke. “It shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.”

Silence again filled the space between them, the inches beginning to feel like a cavern as she pulled further away from him. She didn’t recognize her movements as she walked to his door, her fingers wrapping around the cool metel of the handle. With a deep breath she let the truth fall into the chasm between them. “I lied last night, when I told you it didn’t mean anything? It meant everything.” 

She stood there, hand on the knob hoping her words had changed something but Jake didn’t even move “I’m sorry Bambi. I wish-“ He sighed and his head dropped into his hands. “You deserve more than this, more than a single night.”

Bambi nodded and turned the handle. “Merry Christmas Jake.” 

Her words were quick though even with the speed he could hear the crack in her voice. His door was shut tight before he responded. “Merry Christmas Bambi.” And only when he heard the front door shut and the turning over of her car did he reveal his own truth.

 “I love you.”

[itsbackwoodsbby]

Locker Room Sex

Stephen Curry x Black Fem Reader

A/N: I wrote this for my pleasure. I AM TWENTY, so there is an age difference. I am sorry if you don't like the age gap, but I still am obsessed with this FINE ASS man so don't judge me, judge ya mammy.

Warning: Age Gap! Dirty Talk! Cheating! Swearing! Unprotected Sex!

Summary: You were messaging Steph Curry for a while and then eventually he ghosts you. You were desperately in need to talk to him. For reasons. For answers, on what exactly is going on. You sneak in the Golden State locker room and you definitely get more than answers.

You greeted and told the guys goodbye and goodnight as they left the locker room. He was the only one left in the locker room taking a shower. He turned the shower off and came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. You look at his body. He was very toned for a 35 year old. You bite your lips and start imagining him with the towel dropped.

“Uh… can I help you?” He asks you kind of sternly. You look at him nervously. “Uh yeah. May I get an interview?” He looks at you, “You’re not an actual interviewer.” Reading right through your bullshit. “I’ve heard of ABC, ESPN, and Ballislife. Never have I heard of Big Balls Entertainment.” He reads your fake ass badge your best friend made you.

You swallow hard and you try to come up with a new lie, but you can't. Honestly, you only here to talk to Stephen Curry and possibly even fuck him. But you obviously know the plan is blown, so you walk out. He grabs your arm.

“You know fans can’t be back here either. You can go to jail.” He tells you. You sigh. “I just wanted to see you. You stopped replying to my messages.” He looks at you, “Wait, you’re the girl that I was snapping.” You bite your lips and shake your head before you look down. “And when you stopped texting me, I had to find a way to see you and talk to you.” He starts examining your body as you are talking. “Aye my eyes are up here.” You say sternly. He chuckles, “My bad.” He clears his throat. “Look. I have a wife. I have three kids. I can’t be doing this with you.” You look at him and nod you head. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.” You say as you get up to leave the locker room.

You don’t know why you thought your plan was going to work. You two are 15 years apart. He has a family. You just want him back though. You guys were only talking and sending nudes through Snapchat. It shouldn’t have got this deep as in you sneaking into the Golden State locker room.

A voice comes back to the locker room. It’s Klay. Steph and you run to the shower room and you hide in there as Steph puts on some clean boxers and goes back into the locker room. You listen to their conversation until Klay says he has to go home to see his doggie son, Rocco. He leaves and it’s just you and Steph. You were about to leave and he grabs your arm again.

“Nah. Wait a minute. You can’t leave yet.” He says. You look at him confused, “Maybe we can hook up one time.” He says before caressing your body. “You just said you don’t want to be caught up with me.” You say biting your lip as he squeezes your boobs.

Steph wanted you now. It’s only because he remembered his wife was going for two weeks for a cooking show. The kids were with his parents. So you could be his little cum eater while his wife was away. It wasn’t like Ayesha would care. He can just dispose of you when he got done.

You strip down and go inside the shower room taking your clothes with you. You wanted shower sex and he wanted the same. He smiles at your naked body before you disappear and follows you. He takes his boxers off and pushes you down on your knees.

“You said if you were to see me, you’d suck it.” He smirks. “Do it.”

You start with his tip and slowly lower down an inch. His dick is really big and thick. It’s kind of hard to swallow. You’re a big girl though, so you push through. Eventually you’re damn near eating his dick up.

“My balls need love too.” He says and pushes your head down. You bite your lip before you start sucking on his balls. He smiles and groans even more. You smile knowing you're doing a good job. “Fuck, I’m going to cum.” You go back to sucking and stroking his dick with one hand and massaging his balls with the other and he rolls his eyes in the back of his head. “Fuck, you’re a good at giving head.” He says. “Young ass eater.” He chuckles.

He starts fucking your throat. You start gagging at how rough he is getting with you, but it only motivates him to be rougher with your throat. He hits the back of your throat once and he starts nutting in your throat. You swallow it all. Eventually, he pulls out to see if you did. You smile and stick out your tongue. He smiles.

“Good girl.” He says. You stand up and he admires your wet body. He sucks on your neck and lowers to your nipples. He starts rubbing your clit and he smiles. “You want me to return the favor now or later.” You bite your lips, “Later. I need that dick.” You say.

He picks you up and slides you down his dick. You gasp and hang your mouth open, moaning a sweet note in his ear. He starts thrusting in and out of you. He proceeds to go faster and choke you a bit.

“You take this dick so good, baby girl.” He says groaning in your ear. “And your pussy is so fucking wet.” You whimper. “Ooh shit. You’re so deep. You’re so deep.” He smirks and goes harder. Your legs begin to shake. You’re on the verge of climax already. “Steph. Chill. I’m going to cum.” He chuckles, “Nah. Take it.” He says and goes harder. You try to grip the wall. “Mm, fuck daddy.”

He turns the shower off and heads back to the bench. The steam from the water was making it kind of hard to see. He lays you down with his dick still inside you. He pulls out and starts eating your creamy pussy. You start moaning and gripping the edges. His head game was vicious, it almost made you cum. Then he rams his dick back in roughly. You scream out. He chokes you.

“Chill the fuck out. You can’t be too loud, ma,” He says. You bite your lips. He begins to pound your shit in. “Ooh. Ooh Steph! I told you to chill. I’m going to cum.” He smacks your boobs and goes deeper. “Nah. Say my name.” He groans. “Oh daddy.” You say low. “Loud ma.” He says. “Fuck! Daddy! I’m coming.” You say louder. He chuckles and starts back pounding you. You let out a long moan before creaming his dick up. He looks down, “Yeah. That’s right. Paint this dick.” You cover your face as he starts going deeper. You try to push him away but he just pins your hands above your head.

Suddenly, he starts going faster and faster then you feel his warm liquid fill inside you. He groans in your ear as he does it. He pulls out and watches you leak out both of your juices. He looks down at you as you look at him. The two of you laugh at each other. You sigh and get up.

“Now, I got to shower.” You say and run to the shower. He joins you and you two just shower. You two get dressed and walk out to the parking garage together. He kisses you and rubs all over your body. He practically didn’t want to let go of you. You very slowly break the kiss and giggle. “Chill.” You smile. “You should come with me tonight.” He says. You think about it. You don’t mind but you would rather lay in your own bed tonight. “Nah. I’m going home. Maybe if you need me again, I can stay over.” He smiles, “Ight, lil ma.” You blush and get in your car and he gets in his. He honks his horn as a goodbye and you go to your house.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Read It and Weep- Part 2

Pairing: NFL!Player!Rafe Cameron x Journalist!Reader

Summary: After a week of chaos, the Reader goes to interview their team during practice, chatting with them all about their win and their hopes for the next few Playoff games. But when the team sees how Rafe and Y/n interact, they decide to mess around a bit.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Violence, swearing, flirting, sexual tension.

Song: 'Bubbly' by Colbie Caillat

A/n: I'm so excited for this part. I love their interaction and I love writing their flirty moments. It's gonna get steamier from here on in so hold on! @tee-swizzle, here's your babydaddy.

I got so many messages following Sunday’s game.

Instagram, snapchat, twitter, my email was even blowing up along with text messages rumbling in from nearly every single person that I know along with people that I had never met before. 

There was this sudden interest in my life. People who really never wanted anything to do with me in high school now want everything to do with me, tickets to games, behind the scenes info, all the things that I would give them if we were actually friends but we’re not. Old family members that I didn’t talk to anymore except for birthdays and holidays were suddenly so interested in my job, wanting to read everything I’ve ever published. 

There were even tweets left by other football players on my most recent tweet that I posted, addressing the loads of questions about my state and about whether I’m okay or not. I just simply stated that I’m okay and don’t need any medical interventions and that Rafe was a gentleman for helping me up. I only made the post in the first place because half of the people that commented or reached out were concerned that Rafe had actually hurt me when he took me down when indeed, it was just my pride. Had I known that by posting that, I’d be getting interaction from every football player out there, I wouldn’t have posted it to begin with, especially with the incessant jokes they’ve left on my page- jokes that have attracted news stations in our area along with NFL commentators.

Rafe Cameron’s new woman?

Was the run in between sports journalist Y/n Y/L/N and Rafe Cameron planned to act as  a sort of ‘hard launch’?

Does Y/L/N have it out for Rafe Cameron’s wide receiver paycheck? 

The jokes started with Rafe’s own team, the team who’s known me as their faithful journalist, all turning against me to make jokes at my expense about how I ‘fell for Cameron’ and even made jokes about making our ‘ship name’ on shirts and hats for the whole team to wear. 

Given their track record, I assumed that they’d do it. 

But it did bother me, to see people all of a sudden equate my worth to one incident with a person that I barely know, chalking up our ten minutes of conversation into this huge love story where I’m the desperate damsel and he’s this loverboy giving me the chance of a lifetime, a chance to ‘be with him’, even though neither him nor I have talked to each other since the whole incident.

I got people asking me for interviews left and right, newscasters begging me to come on their shows and podcasts to speak about my opinion of the Rafe Cameron. I even got a call from my own manager asking if I would write a piece on Rafe and I almost agreed but then I wondered how weird it would be for him to read an article written by the girl that he flirted with during a whole entire conference and also toppled over when winning one of the most important games of the season. 

I came up with the alternative that I would go and interview all of the players as a whole during their at home practice before we all hop on a plane and go to Boston for a playoff game. My boss was on board and claimed it would bring in enough publicity, especially since half the country is looking forward to hearing Rafe and I interact, pining after us like we’re some fictional romance or as if I’m a contestant on a TLC dating show. 

My heels click against the concrete of the tunnel and my stomach only hurts more and more the closer I get to the literal light at the end of the tunnel. I can hear the men yelling and running around and I can already picture the bright smiles on all of their faces, knowing how excited they get for interviews. They’ll do anything for a break. 

I’m going to be honest, the amount of effort that went into my outfit, make up and hair was probably a little bit excessive but there’s a part of me that wants to do what everyone’s been talking about all over social media; knock Rafe off his feet. It was such a confidence boost to see Rafe completely and utterly enthralled in my very presence at the conference and I’d be stupid to ignore the follow request in my instagram right now, from him. 

When I stepped out into the sun, I’m immediately caught off guard by a bunch of whistles sung into the air, my neck craning to look at the bench with a teasing look, watching the huge men lining the bench wave sweetly at me with feigned affection. I give them an awkward wave in return as they all begin to shout individually; 

“Hey Cameron! Your girlfriends here!”

“Rafe, your girl’s here to see you.”

“Your baby mama's here, Rafe!”

“Baby mama- what?” I giggle breathlessly and under my breath, watching Rafe slip his helmet off and he jogs towards me. Before he can reach me, I take a step back, holding a teasing hand up to his chest, feeling his heart pound beneath my fingers. “Don’t want you taking me down again.” He looks shocked for a moment before he laughs sheepishly, eyes rolling at my obvious taunting and he takes a step back with his arms raised in surrender. 

“Jesus, it was one time.” He scoffs, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck, a gentle blush sweeping across his cheeks cutely. “I’m never gonna get past that am I?” My head shakes rapidly at him with a huge, proud grin, reaching out to pat his shoulder, feeling sparks beneath my fingers. 

“Never, nope. Not when the whole internet is talking about it.” A look of realization passes across his face and I can see the images of the tweets and articles pass through his eyes and I imagine the same, picturing all of the snapshots that the cameramen managed to take of us and, to be honest, it took everything in me to not save them to my phone and send them to my dad who still refuses to believe that Rafe and I actually talked, even after hearing the post-conference conversation and the actual tackle in the first place. 

“Correction, talking about us.” He grins, swaying gently on his feet while pointing a finger between the two of us and I tilt my head at him with a dumb smile.

“What us?”

“Ouch Cameron, she’s got you wrapped around her little, talented finger.” Greg approaches us quickly and without warning, swooping an arm around Rafe’s shoulder as he gives me a handsome smile and a wink. Rafe’s soft expression drops almost immediately and it doesn’t go without noticing the way his shoulders tense the minute Greg appears, his hungry eyes staring at me like a predator would look at its prey.

“Hi Greg.” I smile politely, ignoring the way that Rafe takes a step closer to me, glazing over at me as I pull my notepad out, prepared to give Greg my typical interview questions but he speaks before I can ask any questions.

“Hey, sweetcheeks. Are you here to interview us? Coach said something about it.” Greg asks, turning to look at Rafe with a shit eating grin and Rafe sighs, shoving his friend away from him and taking another protective step towards me, arm brushing against mine and it sends goosebumps down my spine.

“Yeah, I wanted to chat with some of you during practice, get some lines about the playoffs and winning last week's game.”

“Oh you mean the game where you won a buddy-boy's heart?” Greg winks at Rafe and Rafe clears his throat awkwardly, looking down at his feet with a tired smile. I pick up on the tension that’s between them, as if something’s happened in the last week that I’ve seen them. They’ve been fine all season, all buddy-buddy, a cute bromance, but today I can see the discomfort practically oozing out of Rafe as he stands so closely beside me. 

“Get the fuck out of here, Greg. You’re the fucking quarterback, you need practice more than any of us.” Rafe shoves him away and turns to me, ignoring the questioning look that his friend gives him and I make a mental note to write down the ‘tension’ that appears to be wracking through the team as the playoffs come and go.

“Ouch, baby needs a nap.” Greg sends me a wink and a pervish smile, shoving Rafe towards me as he stumbles and I reach out to steady him, hands gripping his strong shoulders. 

“Sorry about him. He’s a pain.” Rafe mutters, returning to his normal position across from me, still standing closer than before but keeping an honest distance between us, something my mom would call ‘leaving room for Jesus’ and, I’ll be honest, the closeness, the protectiveness, is extremely attractive and refreshing to see, especially from Rafe who’s already so strong and protective as is. And incredibly hot if I might add, not much room for Jesus here.

“Oh really? Couldn’t tell.” I laugh, reaching out to pat his shoulder in an attempt to console him and his shoulders roll in an attempt to loosen up a bit, jaw slacking. He laughs sheepishly at me with a soft smile, hooded eyes sweeping to look down at the ground and I can just make out the blush on his cheeks as he turns to look back at the team that’s still practicing.

“You’re funny. And stunning. You look different than your typical get-up.” His eyes shift to look over me once more, this time ten times more obvious than he did when he first approached me but not nearly as obvious as Greg’s eyes on my boobs.

“You know what my typical getup is?” I ask with an honest tilt of my head, teasing him but at the same time, it makes me wonder if he’s truly been paying attention to me longer than last week. The thought makes me think back to every single outfit I’ve ever worn in front of him, remembering the one time I wore a pretty embarrassing spongebob shirt to practice one day after I had woken up, completely and utterly hungover.

“I pay attention.” He shrugs with a coy smile.

“To a random journalist?”

“To a random beautiful woman? Yes.” His flirting is incessant but I have to give him credit because he is possibly one of the most sweet talking, charming people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He seems to know just what I want to hear and just what will have my heart racing. “Most distracting thing on the field.” He bumps me with his shoulder and I grin vividly, hands reaching up to rest on my cheeks to conceal the heat coming from them. “Did you get my follow request?”

“We should talk about the game.” I laugh awkwardly, suddenly feeling so comfortably claustrophobic in his shadow and I’m so close to him that I could just lean into him and fit my body into his. I bet his body would fit against mine like Cinderella's slipper. 

Isn’t that what they’re calling us? A match made in heaven?

“Fine, fine. I’ll reel it in a bit.” 

We fall into a comfortable silence, both of us turning to watch the players on the field, tossing the ball back and forth and running drills- but what gets my attention is the noises coming from the bench and I turn my head to see four of the players making faces at Rafe and I and clutching their chests in cute affection.

“Don’t look now but they’re making kissy faces at us.” I whisper to Rafe and he scoffs, giving them a simple look out of the corner of his eyes before he leans down to me, whispering against the shell of my ear and it has me gulping in breaths of air.

“Ignore them. They’re pussy-sober which makes them sad and stupid.” I giggle, shoving him away from me with wide, playful eyes.

“Oh and you’re not?” His lips part in a look of shock but a pleasant shock as his dropped jaw slowly turns into a bright smile, his head once more lulling forward as he avoids looking at me out of pure embarrassment. 

“Ouch, Y/l/n.” He whispers, reaching up to pat his chest with a pout. “You wound me.”

“And you literally wounded me.” Folding my arms across my chest he pouts with furrowed brows, hands reaching out to rest on my shoulders as he gives me another once over, almost as if he’s looking for injuries though I think the real reason is to just have another reason to look at me.

“Fuck, I asked if you were hurt, you said you were fine. Are you okay? Do you need to get checked out, I’ll pay-” He starts but I reach up to place a hand on his chest, cutting his words off and instead he’s now tuned in on the fact that I’m touching him, his heart rate speeding up beneath my touch.

“Rafe, it’s a big bruise on my hip. I’ll live.”  

The coach calls Rafe over almost immediately before Rafe can ask to see the wound on my hip and I’m glad that he did because the last thing I wanted was for him to see how big the bruise is and how big of a baby I actually am. How he was already so ready to take care of me, help me pay for medical care- I’m beginning to wonder if he’s just like this or if he’s just like this with me.

It’s fun to watch him play, watch him sprint across the field and catch the ball effortlessly, nine times out of ten falling dramatically to the ground after catching it and looking back at me with wide, excited eyes, almost asking ‘did you see that?’ It makes me appreciate his roots, the fact that at one time, he was just a little boy playing flag football and winning high school games and now he’s with the big boys, making all of his dreams come true. It’s quite the tearjerker. 

“Hey, Y/n!” Rafe calls out suddenly, startling me from my note taking and I spot him running towards me with a ball. “Wanna learn how to throw?” He asks, tossing me the ball and I grin down at it, feeling the worn leather beneath my hands as Rafe’s pupils dilate a bit watching me, his hands moving to grip at the neckline of his jersey.

“Is this a part of the interview?” I ask teasingly, tossing the ball back in his direction and he rolls his eyes dramatically. “You don’t throw the ball, Rafe-”

 “You can just say ‘I was shown exactly how Rafe and Greg do what they do and look great while doing it.” He winks and I scoff at him, turning my head just to hide the shit eating grin on my lips that seems to be a permanent thing around him. “C’mon.” He reaches out to take my hand gently in his as he begins to walk backwards, taking me further onto the field with every step I take. “Please?” He pleads, thumb brushing against my hand as I ponder for a moment, weighing the pros and cons but when I come up with nothing, I give him a simple shrug, taking the ball from him with a grin. 

“Why not?”

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Series Tags: @onedayatatime6 @hysteriahall @littlefirefly08 @hanniebee33 @imsorare @acatwriteshere

[sugurus-fave-monkey]

Okay, so I’ve never actually put one of these out there. But I went on a little kick of how I think JJK men would fuck, and I really liked both of my Geto Drabbles . It’s kinda just thoughts, but I might make an actual thing with like plot. I’m honestly just copying and pasting them from Snapchat, so apologies for formatting, spelling etc. Feedback is appreciated, as well as if you think something else should be added to the CW please let me know. Anyways, smut under the cut.

Cw/Tw: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut. Degradation. Spit. Choking. Name calling. DubCon(???), Voyeurism, Exhibitionism ( Geto uses you in front of his cult), oral (both), vaginal sex, arrogant Geto.

Geto: oh god since he’s currently my obsession (what is with cult leaders) number one: in front of his cult. Geto could fuck whoever he wishes to, but when it comes to showing off for his followers, you were always it. It was humiliating the first time, but you had become used to it. You knew the routine by now, get on the stage, sit on his lap, and let him start to touch you over your clothes. He knew just where you were sensitive, and it doesn’t take him long until your grinding on him, trying to relieve the sensation in your crotch. He smirks at you and addresses the crowd. “See how she begs for me? Truly I must be a god. And if so, then she is a goddess.” The crowd watches how he has utter control over you. He slowly strips you down, and starts touching your bare skin, making you whine, and grind against nothing. He finally touches you, slowly tracing his finger around your opening, before roughly inserting and curling two fingers. The sensation is enough to have you close. “Ah ah not yet, pretty. Wait til I tell you to.” Your mind is reeling. You want to explode on his hand but you know if you can’t hold out, there’s going to be trouble. Finally he gets on his knees and adds his tongue into the mix. You grasp a fistful of his hair, and practically scream. “G-Geto, please!” Geto pulls away, a string of your juices still connected to his lips. He smirks again. “Should I let her cum?” The crowd nods. “Very well then, go ahead.” And finally you let it out, and he doesnt stop, not until you’ve cum three times. Once that happens he grabs a fistful of your hair, forces you on your knees, and facefucks you. He wouldn’t allow his followers to see that part of him, nor would he allow you to have his dick inside you. When he finishes, he busts on your face, and kicks you off his stage.

Geto scenario two: Geto has so much anger and you’re his release. “Strip and get on your knees.” He commands, you do so. “Good girl. Open your mouth.” You do so and he bends down and spits in your mouth. He pushes your mouth closed, so you can swallow his spit, and open it again, this time it’s his dick that’s going in there. He sticks it in soft, and holds your head in place as it gets hard. He smirks at you as you struggle to take it all, eventually he eases up knowing you’re not going to be able to swallow all of him. He lazily pulls your hair, at a pace he likes, allowing you to breathe every so often. At one point he finally figures you’re good to go then rams his entire length down your throat, and chokes you while slowly face fucking you, and you feel like you’re going to pass out when he finally pulls out. “You’ve gotten better at taking me.” When you don’t respond he tells you to get on your hands and knees. You comply, and SMACK, he brings a hand down on your ass, it stings, and your face gets hot. “What are you supposed to say when I give you a compliment?” SMACK. “Th-thank you Geto.” SMACK. “Thank you Geto.” Another few rounds of that and then he’s flipping you over onto your back. He finally disrobes, and strokes himself a couple times. He uses a thumb to rub at your folds. “Pathetic, you’re already dripping for me?” You feel shame, because it’s true, just his gaze is enough to have you soaked. He shoves two fingers inside of you, probing you like an expert. He uses his other hand to rub your clit, and the pressure builds. You orgasm, and you end up squirting. “Thank you Geto!” You manage to squeak out. “Disgusting.” He wraps his fingers around your neck, and slams his dick into you. He fucks you with such hatred, and it feels so good. He flips you onto your hands and knees, and takes his nails down your back. “T-thank you Geto.” His response is to pull your hair and fuck you even harder. He toys with your clit again, and you orgasm again. “Such a filthy monkey. It’s that easy to make you cum huh?” He pulls out of you, and pushes you onto the table, he has better leverage this way, and it really stretches you out. You’re incoherent, you’re overstimulated, and all you can see are those hate filled eyes, staring daggers at you, as his tips away your dignity. He sounds almost animalistic the way he’s grunting and groaning. He finishes inside you, and he notices it spilling out of you when he pulls out. He pulls your hair and shoves your face in it. “Clean up your mess.” Afterwards: who knows. He leaves, probably to go kill some random ass people.

ETA, I expanded on the second Drabble. Part one is here

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for Blocking a Guy After Giving Mixed Signals?

I (28M) reconnected with a dude I knew from high school and college (24M) last year through Snapchat. Someone we both knew from college told me that he really wanted to talk to me wanted to apologize for putting me through hell in college so I decided to friend him. I was never the best of friends with this guy and had issues with him in the past but when he started messaging and talking to me it seemed like he really wanted to make amends so I decided to give friendship a chance.

For some background information, I didn’t spend much time with him in high school. I hardly knew the guy, he seemed a little bit strange, but harmless. Sometimes we played basketball together. He said a couple of weird things that I didn’t realize the significance of the time.

I ran into him again back when we were in college. I thought it was slightly strange how we ended up ay the same one but dismissed it. At the time I just thought it was cool that someone from my high school was there and also attended the paranormal club. Then I found that he had undergone a huge personality change since I saw him last, and definitely for the worst.

He started spreading rumors about people in the group, turning them against each other because he thought it was funny. I lost a couple of my friends this way. Some of the rumors he spread about me in particular resulted in campuswide harassment. I also was briefly under investigation by campus security because he started a rumor that I sold dope (I don’t). He harassed me in other ways as well, calling me names, and knocking me over when I was on my bike. He also vandalized it by ripping the air tubes out of the tires. Of course, I wanted nothing more to do with the guy.

Flashback over, back to the present day. At this point, we have been talking for a few weeks when he revealed that he had feelings for me since high school and had apparently been trying to hit on me. I would have rejected the guy on the spot because even though I’m bi the age difference was too big. I was nearly 18, he was 14, hell no.

He told me that in college, he started the rumors to get my attention. He said he felt like there was no other way to get me to pay attention to him other than being a complete and total asshole. He also said that he intentionally ruined my reputation because he felt like I was so popular, he never would’ve gotten the chance to approach me otherwise. Never once have, I been a popular guy, I don’t know where he gets this bullshit. However, he apologized and sounded sincere at the time. I decided to try to forgive him.

He told me that he still had feelings for me. At the time I wasn’t really even considering relationships. However, considering that I’ve been through the ringer with people who have commitment issues, and this guy managed to maintain interest for practically a decade, I told him that I would think about it when he asked me on a date.

Then, however, he started acting really weird. When we did a video chat he started saying certain things that made me uncomfortable and kept on with it even after I told him to knock it off. Kept pestering me for nudes (I said no). Also kept calling me a girl (I’m a trans guy and commenting on how feminine my body was. He also said that if I didn’t go out with him, he’d make sure I paid for it later. That scared the shit out of me.

After that, I distanced myself from him. I no longer answered his calls or texts. Because I am not familiar with how Snapchat works, I did not block him, because I didn’t know how. However, I ignored his messages for months. I read them. Pretty messed up stuff. He told me that he would keep messaging me until I said yes.

Fast forward several months and I am in a healthy relationship with another trans guy. But then it occurs to me that the dude in the paragraph above would probably find a way to mess it up because that’s what he did with my friendships in college as well as anyone who showed romantic interest in me so we kept it very hush-hush. I decided to tie up loose ends today and tell him that I was Already in a relationship. He told me he didn’t care. He kept trying to push a friends with benefits thing. I told him no. He told me he wasn’t going to give up, no matter what I said, or did. At that point, I lost my temper and blocked him.

The reason I think I’m the asshole is because for a moment I did consider going out with him before he started acting creepy. I feel like I’m the asshole because by doing that, I technically lead him on and I should have told him right off the bat that his behavior was freaking me out, and I was no longer interested, but I chose to just disappear instead.

What are these acronyms?

[chelseachilly]

king of my heart - pt 3

sometimes i wonder when you sleep are you ever dreaming of me? sometimes when i look into your eyes i pretend you’re mine, all the damn time

pairings: reader x ben chilwell chapter summary: things between you and ben begin to escalate, especially when he invites you to a match for the first time warnings: implied smut but mostly fluff in this one :) word count: 3k

a/n: and i’m back! i really like this chapter and hope you do too :) i’ve also opened my asks and am taking requests for ben and mason if anyone has any!

see my masterlist for previous chapters

The next six weeks are pretty incredible. You spend every free night you have at Ben’s, having dinner and making out on the couch, which inevitably leads to more.

One day, when you’re particularly stressed from work, you jump him the moment he opens the door, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing him firmly. He gets the hint and carries you upstairs to his bedroom, your dinner long forgotten.

In some ways, it feels like a real relationship. You spend a ton of time together, basically all the time your busy schedules will permit. You spend nights at his place. You text constantly throughout the day.

However, there are some unspoken rules you’ve put in place.

For one thing, you always leave before breakfast in the morning, as that feels a bit too coupley of an activity. You never go on dates outside his house, not wanting to get photographed together.

And, most importantly, you try very hard not to get too attached to him. You know that the sex is good and that you enjoy each other’s company, but you also know that he has his pick of women and this could end at any moment.

You’ll just have to enjoy it while it lasts.

While you’re busy working one Thursday afternoon, your phone lights up with a Snapchat from Ben, and you immediately grin as you go to open it.

You think about it for a moment. You definitely want to see him tonight, but the thought of going all the way to your flat to change and shower and then all the way back to his sounds exhausting at the moment.

Ben messages back immediately.

Ben No problem, sounds like a plan 😊 see ya soon!

Suddenly feeling a boost of energy at the thought of seeing him, you finish up your work for the day and head back to your flat to clean up a bit. You can’t bring yourself to put on more than joggers and a t-shirt, though at this point you know he really doesn’t care what you wear in front of him.

Ben shows up at seven, a bag of takeaway in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.

“What are these for?” you ask as you let him in and he passes you the gorgeous tulips.

“Oh, you mentioned you had a long day, thought they might cheer you up,” he says nonchalantly.

“That’s so sweet,” you say, trying to calm your racing heart as you go to the kitchen to find a vase. “Thank you, Ben.”

“No big deal,” he says with a wave, walking further into your place. “Nice flat.”

You roll your eyes as you turn back to look at him.

“It’s like a closet compared to your place.”

“Nah, it’s great,” he says sincerely, walking over to the wall of photos you and Charlotte set up next to the couch. You can tell he’s looking at the one of you and your dad - your favourite photo of the two of you at Stamford Bridge when you were a kid. “That’s a really nice photo, Y/N.”

You walk over to where he’s standing and glance at the photo yourself, remembering the day it was taken with both fondness and sadness.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “that was a great match. Lampard scored the winning goal in the 92nd minute.”

Ben smiles and wraps his arm around your waist, providing you with comfort you didn’t even realize you were craving. You can’t help but lean into his warmth for a minute before you come to your senses.

“Let’s eat, yeah?”

Charlotte is out for the night at a work event, so you make the most of having the flat to yourselves for the evening.

By the end of the night, you’re both so tired from your days and several rounds of sex that you both pass out in your bed, curled tightly around each other. It’s crazy how quickly you’ve gotten used to sleeping in Ben’s arms, listening to the beating of his heart as you drift off.

When you wake in the morning to Ben kissing your neck softly, your day is already off to a good start.

However, one glance at your phone tells you that it’s nearly eight, which means you both have to be out the door to head to work within the next hour or so.

“You’re going to be late for training,” you mumble as Ben kisses your jaw and cheeks, making you smile. “It’ll take forever to get to yours and then to Cobham in the morning traffic.”

“I left everything I need for training in the car,” Ben explains. “I kinda figured I might end up staying here.”

“How presumptuous of you, Chilwell,” you tease as he continues to kiss down your stomach. “As much as I would love to continue this, I’m gonna be late if I’m not on the tube by quarter to nine.”

“I’ll drop you at the office,” Ben offers before placing his head between your legs, and you really can’t argue with that.

Some rules - in this case, your unspoken breakfast rule - are meant to be broken, after all.

After you’ve both showered (together) and gotten dressed for the day, you go out to the kitchen to make coffee. To your surprise, there is already a full pot.

Even more surprisingly, Mason Mount is sitting at your kitchen table in his underwear.

“Oh!” You exclaim. “Uh, hey there, Mason.”

Ben, right behind you, is equally shocked to see his teammate and best mate sitting here in your flat.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ben asks.

“I spent the night with Charlotte,” Mason shrugs.

As if on cue, Charlotte comes out of the bathroom brushing her hair and bursts out laughing when she sees the three of you standing there.

“Sorry, Y/N, I assumed you’d be at Ben’s,” she chuckles, glancing at Mason. “Mason, babe, you wanna put on some clothes?”

“We’re literally going to be in a changing room together in, like, an hour,” Mason points out, looking to Ben. “So, this is the mystery girl you won’t stop smiling about.”

Both you and Ben blush at this comment. Although it makes you feel giddy to think about him smiling at training because of you, it does sting slightly as you realize he hasn’t even told his best friend about you.

“I didn’t know anything was still going on with you guys,” you say quickly to Charlotte, changing the subject.

“It wasn’t til last night,” Charlotte giggles, sitting next to Mason at the table. “Guess we had a full house, then.”

You groan and go to pour yourself a coffee, and Ben follows. After you put a couple slices of bread in the toaster, you take a long sip of your coffee - you’re in desperate need of some caffeine.

“Sorry,” you say in a quiet voice so only he hears. “I’ve only told Charlotte what’s going on with us, but if you wanted to keep it a secret-“

“No, it’s not that,” Ben says softly, placing a hand on yours where it rests on the countertop. “Mase is one of my best mates, he’s not going to leak a story to the press or anything. I just didn’t tell anyone because I wasn’t sure you would be comfortable with it. That’s all.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling a bit relieved. “That’s considerate of you. Um, you can mention it to your friends if you want. Not that there’s anything to mention, really.”

“Right,” Ben agrees, and you try not read into the way his face seems to fall a bit for a moment.

“So, Y/N, are you coming to the match tomorrow?” Mason asks from the other room.

“Oh, um…” You trail off, staring at your coffee mug.

Neither you nor Ben have broached the topic of you going to one of his matches. He knows you have a complicated relationship with the club due to everything with your dad, and you still aren’t completely sure you’re ready to go back to Stamford Bridge without him.

“You should come,” Ben says softly, surprising you a bit. His eyes are wide and sincere. “It’s up to you, of course, but it would be nice to have you there.”

You’re not sure you could say no to that even if you wanted to - and all of a sudden, you don’t want to say no. You want to go watch them play for the first time since your dad passed. Moreover, you want to watch Ben play.

“Yeah, alright,” you say with a small smile. “I figure you can swing me a good seat?”

“I might know a guy,” Ben jokes, a twinkle in his eye.

You suddenly feel the urge to wrap your arms around him and kiss him - not to initiate sex, just to kiss him - and you’re grateful for Charlotte and Mason’s presence to deter you from that.

Kissing in the kitchen in the morning while eating breakfast is definitely not friends with benefits material.

After Mason leaves and Ben goes to your bedroom to gather his things, you and Charlotte are left sitting at the table.

“I know you said this wasn’t going anywhere,” she says, smugly eating her cereal, “but the way Ben looks at you says otherwise.”

“I don’t want a relationship,” you protest, though you can feel yourself losing conviction every time you say those words. “Besides, I doubt he actually sees me that way. We’re just having fun.”

“You’re going to a Chelsea match for him, Y/N,” Charlotte points out. “That’s a big deal, babe.”

-

Ben calls you that night to make arrangements for tomorrow’s match. You know he’ll be going to bed early tonight, as he always does the night before a match, and that you likely won’t see him before kick-off, but he makes you promise to meet him afterward.

You don’t have any of your old Chelsea shirts, as they’re tucked away in your closet at your mum’s, so you settle on a blue t-shirt and jeans with a light jacket.

Charlotte has to work, so you’re flying solo, the only real instruction you have from Ben to go to the VIP entrance and give your name.

A nice woman in a Chelsea jacket comes to escort you to your seat, which is in a very nice box where you’re offered snacks and drinks. You gratefully accept a pint to calm your nerves.

It’s strange being back here. You have so many childhood memories of driving into London to go to games and cheering in the stands with your father, him lifting you up and spinning you around with glee when they scored.

Now, for the first time, you’re here alone - an adult woman, here supporting not only your team but your…friend? Fuckbuddy? You’re not sure what to call Ben at this point.

You text him before the match, wishing him luck.

Y/N - 2:44 PM Good luck out there! You got this 😊

You know he likely won’t respond until afterward as he’s starting, but you kind of hope he sees it anyways.

As the match begins, you still feel a bit nervous and out of place, especially in this fancy box filled with likely very important people, but that all fades away quickly.

The moment you spot Ben on the pitch, deftly passing the ball to his teammates and defending his side, you feel sucked right back into the sport in a way you haven’t in years.

You get lost in the game, gasping and cheering along with the other fans as Chelsea dominates on possession. Right before half-time, Havertz scores, leaving them up 1-0 against Leeds.

The second half is a bit more stressful, with Leeds creating some chances. At one point, one of their midfielders has the ball and is moving quickly toward the goal. You’re on the edge of your seat, praying that Kepa manages to save it, when Ben miraculously catches up to his opponent and makes an impressive tackle.

You cheer loudly for him, along with the rest of the supporters, admiring the way his face lights up with joy as Chelsea once again regain possession.

It’s still 1-0 at full time, Chelsea winning the match, and you jump up in your seat to applaud.

As per Ben’s instructions, you wait in your seat for about ten minutes until he texts you.

Ben Chilwell - 5:01 PM Meet me in the tunnels? 😊

You figure the VIP badge the staff member gave you must grant you clearance, so you head down to the tunnels, following signs for the changing rooms. It’s surreal to be back here, especially right after a match. You pass several of the players and their girlfriends or families, your eyes scanning for Ben.

Eventually, you find him talking to Mason, both of them freshly showered and in their club joggers and zip-up hoodies.

The moment Ben sees you, his eyes light up and he jogs over to you. You can’t resist jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly, overcome by the excitement of the win. When you realize how many people might be watching, you attempt to pull away, but Ben only holds you tighter.

“How did you enjoy your first time back at the Bridge?” he mumbles in your hair, sending shivers down your spine.

“It was incredible,” you admit, pulling back just to look at his face. “You were incredible.”

“I think you might be my good luck charm,” Ben grins. “Gonna need you to come to every match now.”

You feel yourself blushing like crazy, but you try to play it cool nonetheless.

“Well, if it’s for the good of the club.”

Ben reaches to pull you into another hug, which you happily reciprocate, loving the joy radiating off him at the moment.

Then, over his shoulder, you see Frank Lampard coming out of the changing room. Ben must feel your body tense, because he quickly pulls back.

“You alright, love?”

You blush again when he calls you love, a nickname usually reserved for during and right after sex. Still, you can’t help but stare at your childhood hero just across the room.

“Yeah, just a bit starstruck by Lampard,” you admit.

It was one thing meeting Mason and Ben and everyone else at that party at Mason’s, but Frank is different. He was Chelsea’s main man from as far back as you can remember. You and your dad wore his kit to every game, even after he retired. Even more importantly, he was your dad’s favourite player of all time.

You’ve told Ben all of this during one of your many long chats, so he understands the significance of this for you.

“You want me to introduce you?” Ben offers softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “He’s actually a nice guy. He’d be happy to chat.”

“Are you sure?” you ask. “You don’t have to-“

Before you can insist that you don’t want to be a bother, Ben is calling his manager over, and before you know it, you’re face to face with Chelsea’s all-time top scorer.

“Coach, this is Y/N,” Ben says with a smile. “She’s a born and raised Chelsea fan.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Frank says, extending a hand for you to shake.

Holy shit, you’re shaking Frank Lampard’s hand. If you knowing Ben wouldn’t have blown your dad’s mind, this certainly would.

“I remember watching you score the winning goal against Bolton to win the title in ‘05, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen,” you blurt out. “I was only six at the time, to be fair, but it was incredible.”

“Wow, Y/N, I don’t get to relive that one every day,” Frank laughs and claps Ben on the shoulder. “You’ve got a great girl here, Chilly. Don’t screw it up, yeah?”

As Lampard politely excuses himself to talk to one of the other players, you feel a slight awkwardness creep in between you and Ben. It’s fair enough that people would assume you’re his girlfriend, as the rest of the women down here seem to be with one of the players.

But you’re not. You can’t be.

Thankfully, Mason and Christian Pulisic walk up and begin chatting with you, dissolving any tension fairly quickly as Mason talks excitedly about the match. It’s nice seeing the genuine friendship between Ben and his teammates, bonds that clearly transcend the pitch or the game.

After a few minutes, Ben leans over and whispers to you.

“You feel like coming back to mine?”

You can’t help yourself from immediately nodding, and Ben quickly excuses you both and leads you by the hand toward the car park.

The moment you’re sitting in his obscenely expensive car, he pauses before turning on the engine and looks at you for a moment.

“What is it?” you ask, finding yourself getting lost in his eyes already as you hold the eye contact.

“It was just really nice having you here today,” he says quietly. “It hasn’t been the best season, but seeing your text before the match and knowing you were here, seeing how passionate you were talking to Frank - it just reminded me of why I love this game.”

You’re speechless, your heart swelling with affection. Ben leans in to kiss you, cupping your cheek in his hand, and it’s by far the softest kiss you’ve shared.

You sitting here in his car, kissing him after a win, feels so perfect and natural. It’s like you were meant to be here.

When he pulls back, a wide smile on his face and his beautiful eyes looking right into your soul, you know one thing for certain.

You are falling for him, and you’re falling hard.

thanks for reading!!

next chapter 💙

[demigoddessqueens]

Imagine playing with alucards fangs-

I love this idea because there’s so much to unpack emotionally!!

If this was a monster x modern au, I can see him sending a SnapChat like “I showed you my fangs, pls respond!!”

He had been pouring over one of the books he wanted to show you. The excitement on his face was endearing to you, given how he rarely smiled, but that’s not what caught your attention. You knew he talked low to not flash them as much, something he didn’t want to draw attention to that made him “other” in your eyes.

But you didn’t care. You were so infatuated with them because it was a part of Alucard, and you adored the aspects of him. He noticed your far-off stare as his voice broke you out of your revelry. “Is everything alright, love? You seem a bit distant.”

“Oh I’m alright, just thinking about something. And may or may not have noticed your fangs.” The dhamphir perked up at your words with a surprised look in his eyes as a hand strayed to his face. “Oh…what exactly about my fangs? Are-are they a distraction or-?”

“No, Adrian, love. What I’m saying is that I like them. They’re a part of you.” A slight shoulder slump told you this was a sensitive topic for him. “That’s—that’s a first I’ve really heard about them.” You reassuringly cupped his face to get him to focus on you. “I wish you wouldn’t hide them from me. It’s you. I trust you.”

The sad smile seized your heart. “If I do this—if WE do this—can you, um, can you promise me not..to…flinch when I show you.” You nodded solemnly as you inches closer towards him, hands never leaving his face. He couldn’t handle such a rejection, especially if it was coming from you.

It started off as a slow smile from him before Alucard parted his mouth ever so slightly. You noted the elongated fangs, eyes widening in fascination. He watched your reaction carefully for any sign of disdain until he felt your finger slowly drag along one of them.

“Beautiful. Perfection.”

[mangoposts]

i just stumbled upon this reddit thread talking about how matts losing weight, seems more depressed and down and angry, snaps easily, looks dissociated 99% of the time, how chris and nick are constantly on him abt shit and how he keeps getting interrupted, how he wasn’t on the live where nick and chris announced the christmas content, and how he should seek psychological help(a crazy thing to say btw),,, a lotta ppl even said he looks like he’s on something bc of how pale and sickly he looks, now me personally i think they’re being dramatic but i wanna know what u think!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/LAinfluencersnark/s/CQRnGrbdGV

Now this is just .. ridiculous

I’ve noticed that a lot of people in this fandom seem to treat Matt like a baby, like he can’t speak up for himself or he doesn’t know how to handle situations. Which simply isn’t true. He has a voice and he knows how to use it

Matt is a grown man, and he makes videos with his brothers whom he’s known all his life. If Matt is ever dealing with any kind of stress, anxiety or sadness, it’s never going to be because of his siblings. Do people really think his own triplet brothers wouldn’t notice if he was feeling anxious or depressed? 😭 They wouldn’t force Matt to be in videos if he actually felt this way. They’re obviously going to prioritize their own relationship before anything

This whole thing is just a little dramatic, all the boys sleep late. Nick posts snapchats at 5 in the morning saying he never slept. If Matt has trouble sleeping that’s why he seems tired and has bags under his eyes. I have them too it’s normal 😭 He’s not losing weight, if anything he used to be thinner. And he’s always been pale?

We know that Matt hasn’t been as happy go lucky the way he used to be, that’s obviously where the whole tough guy joke came from. But people change? Matt isn’t 17 anymore he’s obviously not going to act the same way and look the same. He’s growing up, he probably gets tired more often and doesn’t want to be bothered with youtube as much and this is only normal 😭 It doesn’t mean he’s depressed. Matt seems to be very happy these days anyway, idk i ignore stupid shit like this bc if it was a problem they wouldn’t push themselves

They’re also all working on solo projects, they’ve been busy asl and working nonstop. They’re bound to catch an attitude with one another and get irritated Lmfaoooo