#and if i have a full gauge and still drop in the middle of a fight then thats on me

[cinnabeat]

like one of the main complaints i see for ddd is that the drop guage sucks and makes you drop in the middle of boss fights and its like. idk have you considered that you just suck?

[sshadowritestoriess]

Hi, I love your writing!! Is there any chance you could write something regarding hate sex between Cassidy or Ramattra and a reader who’s apart of Overwatch?

Hope you’re doing well!

Ohohoh, anon you are speaking my language. Here we go :]

Hate Sex with Cassidy

The pseudo-cowboy had very reluctantly recruited you into Overwatch when you so kindly interrupted his interception of some feral omnics that were tweaking out in a plaza, nearly singeing his beard with an explosive that you gave little-to-no warning about

You apologized, but apparently he had been having a very poor day already, because he decidedly felt it was appropriate to raise his voice and call you stupid. Then still had the audacity to ask for your help.

Thus blossomed the start of a rocky relationship that definitely got off on the wrong start.

But give or take a couple months of petty banter, including a couple back-and-forth attempts to sabotage one another on missions you should not have been putting at risk, came quite the ‘therapeutic’ encounter where you both had run into each other in the training bay at a very late hour

“Came out here to finally jump me?” Cassidy snorted, keeping his side to you as he wraps his fist in medical bandage tape

“Keep talking to me and I might.” You huff from your teeth as you dropped a duffel bag by a bench nearest the wall. You pull down your sweatpants to reveal spandex shorts, shooting him a weird look when you caught him staring

“That best be a promise.” He snickers through a scowl, “I been waitin’ for a reason to whoop yer sorry ass for a while.”

“You really wanna try me, cowboy?” You pull your weapon of choice off the selection wall, and he finally turns his full front toward you daringly

“Ain’t nothin’ I wanna try more.”

And so you’d made the first move, engaging in all-out combat and holding nothing back. You had no intent to actually kill one another, but neither of you were pulling your punches either

You manage to disarm him, and he’s quick to do the same to you now that you were in much closer quarters, and whatever anger you had before blossomed into a tunnel of red rage when the butt of his palm slams into your chin

One thing leads to another, you’re more than certain you have cracked ribs that you earned for breaking his nose, and he eventually has you pinned to the ground with his hands on your throat

He’s not choking you, but the pressure he pushes into your skin lets you know he has every reason and potential to. Instead, while he’s sat between your legs and your hands uselessly try and pry his fingers off your neck, you both end up pausing to gauge the position you’re in

You’re both panting heavily, your bottom lip is split and bleeding a little— though far less than Cassidy’s nose was. His cheek is swollen red where you’d punched him, and by god did it hurt to breathe in too much from where he’d slammed his elbow into your ribs

Your eyes are roaming him, and you can see he’s checking you out as well. But as your eyes meet again, there’s a long pause that wrings the air out of you

“Damn it all…” he growls with some hesitation, but you’re quick to nod, and his lips come crashing down on yours

His palms meet the mat below you, and your hands quickly shuffle your shorts down as he slips his tongue in your mouth

He groans, soon pulling from your face to start biting against your neck. You make quick work to finger and tease yourself before he tugs down the waistband of his joggers and pull out his erection

But as he presses himself against you, you’re quick to wrap your legs around his middle and flip you both over. As if you would be on bottom with Cassidy.

Lowering yourself onto him, you would take the cowboy for a ride right there in the training bay. He’d grasp onto your waist and try to meet your rolling hips with short thrusts, one eye shut as sweat dripped from his brow and stung the red of his cheek.

“Ain’t givin’ me the time of day, h-huh?” He’d be breathing harder already

You’d have to keep your hands firm on his shoulders to cease his attempts to flip you over again. He grows irritated at this and goes to say something, but you shove a couple fingers into his mouth, to which he flinched in some surprise but proceeds to bite down on your knuckles as he groans

His metal hand felt nice and cool on your side, so you’d remove your fingers and coax his human hand to stroke at you while you ride him. He’s happy to try, if not a bit distracted with the buzz of pleasure making him forget to use his words

Neither of you last very long, already worn out from fighting and highly aroused by the state of each other. Your legs quickly tire, but you manage to make him finish before you roll off him and take care of yourself with a couple quick jerks of your hand.

Cassidy watches you make yourself orgasm, and a chuckle finds him— somewhat embarrassed, but wholly enjoying the view. “I coulda done that for ya…”

“Next time.” You hiss between heaved breaths as you try to catch some air.

“Next time, huh?” He’d echo, “Don’t reckon that goin’ fer seconds makes us friends.”

“It doesn’t. Now go clean up your face, you look gross.” You didn’t mean it, but you needed justification for having looked him in the eyes for so long just now. He seemed to have known, offering another bright grin and a laugh as he stands, kicking your shorts over to you.

“Til another time then, sugar.” He’d turn to leave.

“Don’t even start with the pet names.”

Hate Sex with Ramattra

Naturally, you were his enemy in more than one means. You were affiliated with Overwatch, you were human, and you just loved to make sure he knew you were in his way. Whether that be in direct combat or your other neat tricks

He would find masses of his damaged war units tagged with custom stickers, spray paint on the sides of buildings with your name in claim you had been there, and encrypted signatures hidden in his UI whenever you were near

Loser, Ramattra would see the block text shaking in the corner of his vision, or U Suck— cheap taunts that could quickly be directed toward his system the second he’d have his back turned. It was…. Irritating.

Until there came a day where the Null Sector made a successful push, forcing his opponents to retreat— and he spotted you attempting to make an escape through a damaged building

He cast his vortex upon you, purple ribbons binding around your ankles for just a moment, sparing him enough time to slam you against the wall with his hands

He knows with every part of his fabricated soul and being that he hates you, and yet holding you against the wall by your wrists he hesitated to kill you. There was something enticing about finally having you at his mercy that made him pause

“You gonna kiss me or something…?” You try to joke after several seconds, nervous before the hesitating ravager. He was leaned in pretty close to your face, afterall

“You horrible, infuriating human. You would jest at death’s doorstep, over begging for your life?”

“Do you want me to beg?” You’d asked, why not just kill me? He couldn’t tell if the sultry tone was intentional or not, or if you were just scared. Dilated pupils, somewhat baited breath— he felt intimidated by not knowing for certain, or how to proceed. Why couldn’t he just kill you?

“…Uh, big guy,” you huff when Ramattra failed to answer, wrists becoming increasingly uncomfortable, “is there something you want?”

He’s not so certain what happened next, just that it had happened. He barely said a word. Your hands were somehow free, there were delicate palms sliding up the sides of his waist and making him shake, and soon after that his hips were flush with your bare ass while you held onto the wall

He’s got a bruising grip on one of your thighs— lifted flush against his chest— his other hand also grasping the wall as he thrusts into you

He absolutely hated how well you made him feel, squeezed tight around him, making his processor struggle to form coherent thought.

Your hand would occasionally sneak back and slip between the panels of his exterior, pulling at wires and pressing into nodes that made him jerk and sputter

“Wretched… beast,” he snarls between feigned breaths over you, “look at what you’ve reduced me to.”

Ramattra was harsh in his movements, though mindful of the difference between sturdy machine and human fragility. He wished to make you ache, not to break you… for now

You would continue to taunt him, even now. While lacking concentration and access to your devices, you could still tell him through gritted teeth that he could do better. He would slam harder against you at that, eliciting slight pain but making excitement flare in your abdomen

His hand would leave the wall and hook around your throat, fingers grasping at your chin. He continued to scold and blame you for his behavior, as well as yours, and you’d spit retorts back that this was all his own doing

His vocalizer would stutter now and again as his systems overheated: “C-Curious, you certainly take a lot of pleasure in becoming a toy to be utilized for someone else’s gain.”

“You sure I’m not the one using you?” You bite back, then he’d growl, hand on your leg certain to leave purple marks in the shape of his entire handprint.

And once he’s finished using you, shuddering with a sigh, his fans come to a stop and swap to a release function with steam hissing from his back and shoulders, removing himself to give you a gentle shove against the wall— then he chuckles as you teeter and catch your wavering balance

He was careful to disguise his own trembling, reattaching his pelvic plate. “I will not be showing you the same mercy next time. I advise you learn to run when you are losing.”

“Sure you won’t,” He watches your lip become glossy when it slips beneath a pink tongue, “You’ll be back for more.”

Needless to say, you were very right about that. For the next several occasions, he made absolutely certain you’d struggle to rejoin your allies on sore and shaking legs.

[mysticalgalaxysstuff]

ethan’s reaction to marissa getting up in the middle of the night to get water or something & then coming back & giving him a lil smooch on his forehead thinking he’s asleep? what about if it was the other way around? im in a fluffy sappy mood lol 💖

Mal bestie<3 I love you sm! Thank you for sending such a brilliant of an ask. You inspired me to write this! ❤

IN YOUR ARMS (ETHAN x MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Marissa Sanders)

Book: Open Heart (Beyond)

Word Count: 642 words

Rating: Fluff

Warning(s): Few lines alluding to suggestive themes.

A/N: A bit late but inspiration struck and I couldn't stop myself from writing this! I hope you guys will enjoy this! Thank you ❤

~~~~

The outside world was still wrapped in a deep slumber, the night sky glowing with bright city lights from beneath, adorned with the pale crescent moon and endless vast of luminous stars from above. Its luminescence impenetrable through the spectacular ceiling-to-floor windows of his lavish apartment, unexpectedly, begrudgingly awakens his girlfriend during the fathomless night.

Two hours before his prompted alarm goes off, Marissa, still swathed in a dreamlike state, mindlessly searches for her phone on the nightstand to grasp the unruly time. 

2:47 A.M.

She silently drops the phone on the stand, splaying her right hand across the stand in search of the glass she keeps beside her, only to find an empty one.

Marissa releases a defeated sigh, mentally preparing herself to rouse out of the bed, and paddle across the bedroom to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water to quench her unrelenting thirst.

She throws on his shirt over her petite frame, carrying his intoxicating scent with her — the one mindlessly abandoned on the floor just a few hours ago, before they purely lost themselves into each other for an endless hour and hours of sweet pleasure, bodies moving in an ecstatic rhythm.

After a few minutes, that seemed hours to her, she returned to their room, fully sated, only to be transfixed by the vision in front of her.

Ethan peacefully laid asleep on their bed. One leg prompted up majestically; his facial features — calm and relaxed. The comforter barely clad on his glorious naked body. Marissa approached him with deliberate steps to avoid waking him up. 

She gently caressed his face, tracing the faint frown lines, going on a journey with her slender fingers, smiling to herself.

There are some things one can not describe why they do. What takes over them to do things having little to no effect.

Just pure and simple. 

Maybe they do have an effect, but Ethan wasn't in the state to gauge the simple effect.

She leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, her touch full of love and tenderness, before returning and making herself comfortable on her side of bed.

When suddenly, she feels him. His strong arm drapes across her lean body, pulling her close towards him. Ethan nuzzles her neckline eliciting a shiver down her spine.

“All this time, you were awake?” She inquired, chuckling, her laughter music to his ears.

“Mmmmh,” he hummed pleasantly as a yes, eyes still closed. “Perhaps it's instinct, but I'm able to sense whenever you are away in my sleep, and I seem to miss your presence whenever you leave my side, even for a minute,” he said, his voice reverberating a sense of vulnerability.

Marissa turned around to face him as Ethan opened his eyes. Blazing blues meeting her beautiful browns, creating the same scenery as it was behind their closed doors.

“You're drunk on sleep,” she jested. “Careful, Dr. Ramsey. To me that sounds evidence enough for the basis of being soulmates.”

An even beautiful smile broke out on his face.

“Jury's still out,” he quipped.

She gives him an aghast look before playfully hitting him on the shoulder as Ethan's laughter reverberates around the room.

“You're my righteous path when I'm lost, Marissa.”

That catches her off-guard at his sudden somber tone, his revelation. She closes her eyes, drinking in his words, her features softening and melting into complete adoration and love.

“Ohhh Ethan…” 

Ethan leaned towards her, kissing her forehead before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, leaving her heart fluttering.

“I love you.”

He said as he kissed the inside of her wrist, where 'I IV III' that meant the three words he just uttered in Roman numerals was tattooed. 

“I love you too, Ethan. So much.”

His heart soared at the mere words, the feeling igniting as she cuddled close to him, his arms always welcoming and comforting to her.

Soulmates. Maybe there was a biological basis to that.

Tagging in reblog

[decadentpandawasteland]

It's been a bit, but I've been working on a few different things. I am currently doing a reread of one of my favorite series called Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Diniman, which opened me up to the LitRPG genre as a whole, which I quickly came to love and adore. I've been working on building a world with an RPG style premise, and this is the test piece I've come up with. I was getting antsy in setting up in the world rules, classes, races, leveling system, etc. So, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to let me know! As always, thanks for reading :)

---------------------------------------------------

Flames whipped by my face as I just barely dodged in time. I eyed my attacker just as they threw out another volley of flames, these were more globular than the last. I dodged it, but the glob of heat hit the burned wall behind me, splashing my back with little dabs of gooey heat. I watched my health drop from around 60% to a little above 50%. 

“Definitely a magic build. Either Half-Fey or full,” I thought as I gauged the damage. Even through my fire resistance, that ate through more than I was comfortable with. I decided I needed to end this fast. Ducking behind cover, I tossed out a smoke bomb. Digging through inventory was a pain in the middle of a fight when seconds can matter. 

“Shit, shit, where is it?” I thought, scrambling to find it. There it is. I unslotted my smoke bombs and put the Potion of Fire Resistance in my hotlist. I'd have preferred to save it for a later fight, but it wouldn't do me any good if I was dead. The thing had been a pain to find the right crafting materials for, requiring legendary level ingredients. Still, after reading the description, it was definitely worth it. 

Potion of Fire Resistance - Legendary

Grants the user Fire Nullification for 120 seconds. Grants user Fire Damage Reduction by 25% for 120 seconds following Nullification. This is a single-use item. 

Following the description was some flavor text in red font that I didn't have time to read. I used the potion and felt as frost grew around my armor, encasing me entirely before vanishing. A single red orb began orbiting me from my right shoulder to left hip. I passed my sword through it with nothing happening to either. 

“Well that's neat,” I thought before I readied my weapon. My smokescreen still had a few seconds before fading and I had to be ready to strike as soon as it did. 

“Blink Strike to close the distance and follow up with Skyward Slash. Juggle if I can-” I didn't have time to finish the thought. Another Firebolt ripped through my remaining smokescreen. It missed by a few inches, but it created a trail right to the caster. Gripping the sword in both hands, I leveled it to my shoulder, the tip pointing straight through the dissipating swirl of smoke. Taking a step, I activated the skill. 

Rushing forward in a blur, I landed a hit directly on the Fey's shoulder. The blade landed deep and I watched her health bar drop to a little above 25%. Her left hand readied another glob of molten fire that she threw directly onto me. Thankfully, I still had my FireNull for 100 seconds still. My hovering red orb took the hit, splattering the molten fire on me. 

With my sword still in her shoulder, I bent my knees and jumped, activating Skyward Slash, rocketing the two of us into the air. “Now comes the hard part,” I thought, dropping back down slightly before her. Her health was deep in the red, maybe 10% left. 

I crouched and turned my weapon to the flat of the blade. It made for an awkward upswing, but after trial and error with tons of mobs, I had found this easier than either using the blade itself or trying to switch to a bludgeoning weapon. I swung upward, connecting and bounced the Fey back up in the air. Skyward Slash may not deal much damage, but its cooldown is only 10 seconds. That meant if I kept this up for a swing or two more, I could finish the fight. 

She was dropping again, but this time she threw out another ball of molten fire splashing more both on and around me. My potion still had 80ish seconds before I'd start taking damage. I repeated my previous steps, juggling her back into the air. I readied and jumped again, activating Skyward Slash. That's when two arrows shot through the air hitting both of us just as my hit connected. 

The Fey's health dropped to zero as she hit the floor shattering into a thousand pieces. I landed and noticed an indicator by my health bar. It was a grouping of three purple spheres. Poison. 

“Goddammit,” I said. Poison Arrows usually meant a sniper type class or even worse, a sniper type class specializing in assassination. I pulled the arrow out and it revealed a serrated edge in the tip. A new icon sprang into existence beside my poisoned icon, a red blood drop. Now I had both poison and a bleed effect, which my Potion of Fire Resistance did absolutely nothing against. I watched in horror as my slowly draining health picked up even more speed. 50% then 45% then 40. I had to admit these two ailments stacked together really well, as frustrating as it is to fight against. 

Assassination type snipers will use status ailments to either drain away health or mana from a safe spot before going in for the kill. It seems like an easy choice when picking a class, but the trade off is the insane amount of grinding required to level it up. Most mobs are resistant to at least half of the ailments meaning their level grinding can take almost twice as long as anyone else. It's just easier to pick up a sword or cast a spell instead of using trial and error to figure out what works against them and what doesn't. 

I looked around for where the shot had come and couldn't find where it had come from. There were two raised platforms to the right and one to the left. I decided to check the higher on the right first, high ground would mean if I was wrong at least I'd see them before they'd see me. 

A movement trick I had picked up was jumping, then right as I began falling down I'd activate Skyward Slash. I was basically jerry-rigging a double jump at the cost of a 10 second cooldown skill. My FireNull Orb blinked away and I felt the invisible ice surrounding me begin to slowly melt as I completed the maneuver. I landed heavily as the poison faded away, leaving me at 20% with the bleed still going for another 10 seconds. As I turned, wind rushed passed me and I felt the sting of a blade cut through my stomach. 

My health dropped to around 5% but my bleed had been refreshed and I knew this was it. I turned to face my attacker, my health ticking down. It was an elf, her longbow was so big it almost touched the ground from her back. Above her head, her ID read as Kali. My vision faded into blackness. 

A moment later, my vision filled with big red letters. YOU'VE DIED. After a second the words faded into the blackness. A headshot of my character came into view. 

Ryo. Level 55 Human. Class: Fighter, Subclass: Blade Master. 

Stats -

Strength: 20 (+3 Ring of Strength) (+5 Battle Hardened Short Sword) 

Dexterity: 18 (+1 Chloranthy Ring) 

Constitution: 25 (+2 Shield of Battle Hungry Berserker) 

Intelligence: 7 

Wisdom: 5

Placement in Uncommon Battle Tournament: 31 out of 150. Good luck next tournament.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Rabbit Hunt

Both Big Brother and Dr. Clef agree, my evasion skills need work. I have to admit... they have a point. So, today the student suggests a new lesson. After all, rabbits are forest and field creatures, why not go on a Rabbit Hunt? After all, what better way to test my skills than running from two of the most dangerous men on site? The boys have about 2 hours to catch me, or... no rabbit stew. Kidding, they still get fed.

After my performance review, it turns out I'm not as invisible as I thought. Last time trying a stealth run with Abel, he caught me in under an hour. I've been working on my skills off the clock, I'm not Sam Fisher sneaky, but I'm improving. Still, always a good idea to stay on the grind in this job, at least to a reasonable degree. I propose a test: basically Abel, Clef, and a MTF chase after me in the woods. They have full equipment, but I only get a stun knife and compass. If I'm not found in two hours, I pass. I get caught, I have to make dinner for the test team. As technically I'm anomalous, no abilities to keep it fair to the hunters. And! It's a capture not kill mission. That last one was more for Clef, he's a bit trigger happy. Agent West suggests a new wrinkle I hadn't mentioned, if I catch the hunters, I can tie them to a tree. Clef gives West a weird look, especially from him.

"Yanno, West... if you want a pretty lady to tie you up, I'm sure we can find other ways to make it happen." West turns tomato soup red. The MTF is on his case. And Abel is even dropping him knowing smirks.

"Hey, I'm not going to deny it, Rabbit is fine. But this isn't a kink thing, more like getting into a good habit in real scenarios. Besides, Boss... not like you to be so... protective of your interns. We've all se-" Agent Nakatoshi slaps a hand over West's mouth in an attempt to keep her squadmate alive. Clef looks like he's about to prescribe West two barrels of 4 gauge. Great. First year as an agent, and I'm about to inadvertently cause a friendly fire incident already.

"Okay, we know the rules?" Nods. "We all agree, then. Good. Five minutes from now, catch me if you can folks!" I dash into the misty woodlands. Five minutes after, and the hunt begins. Let's see who slips up first. Hopefully not me, and not to West. Dude's scummy in all the wrong ways. Rustling leaves behind me, but a good strong tree beside me. I shimmy up, letting the hunter run by. Huh. It's Big Brother, but he runs by, not even looking up. Okay, he's not hunting me for now. Probably going after either West or Clef, then. I stay put for a moment, just in case. Once I'm sure I'm clear, I climb down. Abel was headed due East, I head west, then north.

What I saw in the middle of an oak grove almost had me give myself up laughing, but I stopped myself. Agent Nakatoshi had West tied to a tree, a dirty sock stuffed in his mouth, and delivering a dressing down Dr. Gears would be impressed by. Once again, in the trees. Kinda want to stick around, but I'd be easier to find if I did. I press on, smirking. Must remember to send Ami some mochi.

For a while, I'm alone. I can get down from the trees in relative safety. Or, I could just chill on a branch and see if anyone notices. I decide to take a short break. Unfortunately, so does the limb I was sitting on. I fall down, but manage to not hurt myself for once. I brush myself off, and leg it. My left arm is a bit sore, but... I'm not being chased. Nope, my dumb ass nearly runs right into Clef. I weave right before he can grab me. He's on my tail, I can't shake him. But, maybe I can throw him off. I duck down behind some rocks, and grab a loose stone.

"Come out, Rabbit. I promise I'm not trying to catch you, honey. I just... want to talk." Uh huh. And suddenly O5 is going to let every anomaly out of Containment and it'll all be sunshine and rainbows. I get ready to throw and run. I lob the rock, it bounces off a tree 12 feet to the south. I run east. Upside: I lost Clef, it seems. Downside: I'm now lost. But... lucky me... I hear Big Brother nearby. He seems... a bit angrier than usual. And... he found West. He's dangling the dumb bastard over a ledge.

"Keep your (untranslatable) eyes off my sister, lest I carve yours out and shove them up your (untranslatable) so you can watch me kick the excrement from your perverted body. She. Has. Someone. You are not him. Leave her alone. Get out of my sight." Abel tosses him into the trees, and West runs. Gotta admit, having Abel as my big brother has advantages. Like weeding out creeps.

I feel a hand grab my wrist, and I jump. I spin around, and... it's Clef. He's got an unnerving grin on his face.

"Gotcha. And... over 90 minutes this time. Well done, Most Favored Intern! I think you've earned a reward." Without warning, Clef pulls me into his arms. Next thing I know, he's pressing his lips to my forehead. "You remind me so much of someone I knew, in a lot of ways. If I had gotten to know my daughter better, I'd like to think you two would become sisters. But, 343 knows there's a lot of things I wish I could do over. Point is, Papa Clef is proud of you, Bunny. Tell you what, we'll call it a pass, and I'll handle dinner."

"So... ordering out, then? I could murder a pizza. So could Abel."

[hazbincalifornia]

Padding

Chapter 47: Turns out that falling asleep in a fertility demon's house has some side effects.

Ao3 link

Blitzo jolted awake, scrambling back on the bed (that was too big and too soft, it wasn’t his and it wasn’t Stolas’s, where was he-) before the events of the last few hours sank in. He was… in a room at Aamon’s palace. He’d fallen asleep soon after Stolas had returned and they’d tossed around name ideas. Currently, Stolas was snuggled up next to him, a serene smile on his face as Blitzo’s momentary freakout apparently hadn’t disturbed him. There was a fire in the fireplace across the room, and the gentle flickers cast soft light across Stolas’s face, sparks dancing across gently curved white. Blitzo was mesmerized, reaching a hand across his chest to trace the patterns on Stolas’s cheek, before his arm caught something.

Two somethings, actually.

“What in the goddamn fuck?” Blitzo shrieked at the top of his lungs. It immediately yanked Stolas out of that peaceful sleep, the owl shooting straight up, but at the moment Blitzo was more concerned with himself as he fumbled to yank his shirt over his head, popping the top button off in the process.

“Blitzy, Blitzy, what’s-”

“Why do I have tits?”

“Why do you what?” Stolas’s eyes widened as Blitzo finally got the shirt off. Sure enough, there were two definite pads of fat that hadn’t been there the day prior. “What the fuck?”

“That’s what I said!” Blitzo cupped them both in his hands. They weren’t huge or anything, maybe on the bigger end of B-cup at best, but they were still there, and when he ran his thumb over the somewhat sore left nipple it sent a jolt straight to his crotch. “Is this your friend’s idea of a joke?”

“I- I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for- oh!” Stolas’s hand dropped down to Blitzo’s middle. “Did she get bigger again?”

Blitzo blinked, pressing his arm over his chest to try and compress them a little before mentally trying to tally how large his stomach had been before. “Oh, for fuck’s sake- this is like the fourth growth spurt!”

“She’s going to be nice and strong when she’s born.”

“Yeah, and she’s going to crack my fucking pelvis in half,” Blitzo said, sliding out of the bed and waddling over to a nearby mirror. Luckily, it was a full-size one so he could get a good view, and what a fucking view it was. A bit of the fat from his chest squished under his arms, his stomach was definitely bigger, and now that he was looking, he could see that his ass was even tighter in his pants. He was kind of afraid if he took them off he wouldn’t be able to get them back on again. “This is really fucking weird.”

“It is…” Stolas said, eyes wide. “Are you alright? Did it put any kind of… strain on your body?”

“Just because it doesn’t hurt doesn’t mean it isn’t weird as fuck,” Blitzo said, turning a bit on his feet to try and get a rough gauge of all the changes. The tits were definitely the most obvious, but it looked like his hips and stomach had both bulked up a bit. The hips weren’t necessarily an unwelcome change since it might help feeling like he was going to topple over if he walked for more than ten minutes at a time, but it was still fucking bizarre looking in the mirror and realizing that it was all him as he pinched a bit of his side with a grimace.

“Ugh. We just went shopping, and some of that shit is already going to be tight.” Fan-fucking-tastic.

“We can probably return the ones you didn’t wear yet,” Stolas said, voice airy and distant, and Blitzo spun around.

“What’s with- oh, come on!” Blitzo groaned- Stolas’s entire face was bright red, and it didn’t take a genius to put that together with ‘had been staring at Blitzo’s ass’. “Let me guess.” He smacked his butt, feeling the way the hand sunk into the cheek slightly in the process, and Stolas’s face somehow dialed closer to roughly Millie-shade as Blitzo’s eyebrow rose, tail snapping the air with a whipcrack. “You like this, huh?”

“I- well, you see, if it’s already happened-”

“Yeah, yeah, save it.” Blitzo reached over to his shirt. He’d leave the top few buttons off so he could hopefully not assassinate any more of their brethren. “I’m going to have a chat with Aamon.”

________________

The bird of the hour was located in his study, going over some papers that may or may not have been related to him, but at the moment, Blitzo couldn’t really care less as he stormed in with Stolas close behind.

“Oh, hello! Did you sleep well?” Aamon spun around.

“Cut the shit, edgar allan hoe.” Blitzo thrust his chest forward, squeezing the side of his left tit between his thumb and index finger. “What the fuck is this about?”

Aamon’s eyes widened as he slid off his chair, kneeling down in front of Blitzo and twisting his head to the side, midnight feathers fluffing up slightly. “Oh! That’s… unexpected.”

“What, are you telling me you didn’t know you were gonna give me-”

“It wasn’t intentional, at any rate.” Aamon adjusted his glasses. “There is a spell that permeates the palace that helps to encourage bodies to be slightly more well-suited to pregnancy if they’re currently with child that can be concentrated differently if they’re trying, but it normally reacts to magic, so I didn’t really think it would affect you.”

“Don’t you have your glowy eye shit?” Blitzo raised an eyebrow, and Aamon clicked his tongue.

“I only see the paths that I check. The important part was whether or not you chose to keep the child. Trying to go too far on specific scenarios or timelines without intent to see something specific just makes things go fuzzy.”

“Well, that sucks shit. Can you reverse it?”

Aamon nodded, shifting his weight from one knee to the other. “I could, but are you sure? If the spell worked on you, it may make the next month or so easier, especially considering you’re… on the smaller end for how big the child is.”

Blitzo growled, jabbing Aamon in the chest with his index finger. “Fuck you, I’m not being called a manlet by a guy who looks like he whacks it to step-sibling hentai in his free time.”

Aamon just laughed at that. “Oh, my taste is more refined than that! But I mean the fact that you’re an imp, plain and simple- the child is only going to grow larger in the next few weeks, and if you want to keep much mobility, it’s not a bad idea for the stability.” He gestured to Blitzo’s chest. “As for those, they aren’t really going to help with balance or anything like that, but they’ll be cheaper than formula.”

Blitzo blinked a few times. “Wait. Wait, are you telling me they’re gonna actually have milk?”

“Mhm, they should. I know milk is fairly rare on male-leaning imps who don’t already have more breast tissue, but if the spell affected you, it should come in a bit before the birth. I understand if you wouldn’t want that, though, and I could remove them if you’d like?”

Blitzo’s eyes dropped down to his chest, which still pressed loosely against the inside of his half-buttoned shirt. Yeah, the kid was going to have a beak, so it was probably a stupid idea, but wasn’t boob-milk supposed to be healthier or something? “So it wouldn’t be, like… weird magic milk that causes her to explode or some shit, right?”

Aamon shook his head, beak twitching on the edge. “No, it should be normal. I’m fairly sure I would be out of a job if I exploded the babies I helped to make.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Blitzo squeezed the left one again. “Are they gonna go away afterward?” At that, Aamon shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I could help remove them if they don’t, it’s not very difficult if they were formed from one of my spells.”

“And I could change my mind later, right?”

“You could, yes. As I said, it’s not a very difficult spell to counteract, it will just bring you back to the state your assets were in before it affected you. It shouldn’t reverse progress on the baby any.”

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that as an option.” Blitzo considered for a few seconds. “So it’s not gonna fuck up the kid any?”

“No. If anything, it might make her a bit healthier, that’s the whole point.”

“Hmm.” He drummed his fingers on top of his stomach, and Stolas cleared his throat.

“If I may cut in-”

“Oh, you just like me having a bigger ass, you don’t get a say in this.”

“It’s not that!” Stolas protested. “I was just going to say that if it helps you retain your mobility, that seems like a good thing. You didn’t enjoy it when you weren’t allowed to work anymore, so I can’t imagine it would be much better if you were bedbound.”

“...” That was… a good point. The milk thing could be pretty easily solved by formula that Stolas could help with if he decided against it, but having to be made completely helpless if the kid got even bigger over the next few weeks… yeah, no fucking thanks.

“Alright, I’ll leave it, but you’re still a fucking dick for not telling me this was a possibility,” Blitzo said, narrowing his eyes at Aamon, who stood back up.

“I apologize. It won’t cause any harm to you, I promise- the child was probably hungry for magic, considering how quickly the changes took place and the fact that you aren’t naturally inclined to it. It might not be a bad idea to spend more time with Stolas or other magic users if you know any.”

“Right.” That wouldn’t be a problem, he was probably going to be seeing a lot more of Stolas over the next month anyway. “Any other advice, considering this is your whole schtick?”

“I know you have a lot of planning left to do, but try and relax.” Aamon squeezed his shoulders, and Blitzo would have jerked away except they were weirdly, comfortingly warm. “You’ll do fine. Allow your friends and family- and Stolas- to help you. She’ll be alright.”

“Pssh, I could have gotten that from one of those cheap magazines with the ink that rubs off on your fingers.” Still, when he shrugged Aamon’s hands off his shoulders, it was with a slight smile. “So, any suggestions for actual practical shit?”

“Oh, yes!” He turned around, rummaging for a moment before handing Blitzo a stack of magazines and books that he nearly dropped from sheer weight. “I do expect the books back, just give them to Stolas, but these may be helpful. The magazines are ones that I’ve found have particularly good quality equipment- cribs, changing tables, that sort of thing. Many royal couples have someone to do that sort of thing for them, so I’m glad I can help you directly!”

Blitzo blinked. “Uh, thanks.” Aamon’s eyes had brightened and his smile had widened, scaly tail wagging. “I’ll take a look.” More likely Moxxie would with the books, but he’d skim them, probably. “Anything else?”

“I’m here for questions. You’re technically a client now, just route them through Stolas since he knows how to get in contact with me.”

“I don’t have to pay for this, do I?”

Aamon shook his head. “No, I don’t get paid for my work, it’s just part of my job. I’ve never gotten to see the particular mix of a Goetian and an imp, though, especially not in the pregnancy stage, so it’ll be interesting. Do tell me when she’s born, and I’ll send a gift basket!” He bounced slightly on his clawed feet, still grinning.

“Eh, I’ll keep it in mind.”

“We certainly will if there’s anything that comes up.” Stolas reached forward, clasping Aamon’s hand. “Thank you again.”

“Always a pleasure to help a friend. Give Octavia my regards,” Aamon said, nodding his head at Stolas. “And that advice goes for you as well. Don’t take everything on yourself. I know we can’t let anyone know yet, that will be up to you, but you have your… your…” He glanced down at Blitzo, who shrugged.

“Fuck if we know.”

“Your partner, and anyone he has on his side.” Aamon squeezed Stolas’s hand back. “I wish you both the best of luck.”

Partner. Blitzo wasn’t sure how to feel about how official that sounded, but Stolas had only barely muffled an excited little hoot from how his feathers had fluffed, and Blitzo took a step towards him, setting a hand on his hip and tugging him closer.

“Thanks. We’re gonna need it.”

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Church (Choi San) Rated

Pairing: Choi San × Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, College AU, Friends to Enemies(?), Enemies to Lovers (?)

Summary: He used to be her best friend until he abandoned not only his childhood beliefs, but her in the process. One night, he decides to show her a glimpse of what she's been missing out on. Inspired by Chase Atlantic's Church .

Word Count: 6.3+K

Warnings: Mentions of religious beliefs, brazen college parties, allusions to alcohol/nicotine intake, body insecurity (reader has small breasts), oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, body worship/praise, slight cumplay, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (always use protection), slight corruption kink, inexperienced reader, experienced San. (Probably forgot something)

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @yunhoiseyecandy @yunhofingers @galaxteez @brie02 @deja-vux @a-soft-hornytiny @multidreams-and-desires @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie

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The infamous rebel let out a pernicious snicker when he saw the serene and usually proper former acquaintance walk in his direction.

"Are my eyes deceiving me or is that really the pastor's prissy little daughter out past her bedtime in a college party?" He found the situation much too amusing that he just had to point it out.

"I have a name you know." The female he was referring to halted in her steps to turn her head and give him an unkind and unfriendly look.

"You have several, actually. There's goody two shoes, priss, prude, prig-"

"Oh shut the fuck up Choi San." She scoffed as she began walking away from him, already feeling annoyed by his presence.

The man trailed after her, his face donning a shocked expression as he flailed his arms around in a dramatic way.

"Guys it's happening! The apocalypse is really here if L/N Y/N has not only attended a wild party full of debauchery, but her mouth has actually uttered out cursed words!" He shouted out, the other attendants either joining in laughing at her or ignoring him in favor of the bottles or sticks in their fingers.

"I'm surprised you even know what that word means." She turned to look at him with a mocking smile, arms crossed over her chest.

"Please, I know a lot more than you have ever pretended to know." He clicked his tongue, elbow coming up to rest on the wall next to him.

"Is that why you turnt corrupt and abandoned everything you believe in?" She couldn't help but spat back at him.

"Hey at least I was honest and didn't hide it like you people who lead double lives. Preaching one thing but living the total opposite. You're all nothing but a bunch of hypocrites." The venom in his voice was unmistakable, nose scrunching up in disgust as he remembered gross sins he had more often than not had witnessed from people who claimed to be pure and holy.

"I do not lead a double life." She remarked.

"Oh really? Then why the hell are you here in a college party? Full of alcohol, drugs and walking STDs? Riddle me that princess." His foot tapped against the floor, patiently awaiting an answer from her.

Y/N swallowed the non existent lump in her throat and turned her gaze to the floor in embarrassment.

"I just wanted to see what it was like. Just once." She admitted begrudgingly, the man in front of her chuckling lowly.

"Well you sure are going to have a lot to confess on Sunday to your dad. Silly girl, walking into the lion's pit like this." He jeered at her.

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just because I came here doesn't mean I've done anything morally wrong." She counteracted his words to which he only snorted.

"Yet."

Tired of his overly obnoxious attitude, Y/N spun on her heel to get away from him, but she spun so carelessly and fast that she ended up bumping into another classmate who unfortunately was holding a full cup of beer that ended up being doused all over her white blouse.

"Oops! Sorry, my bad." He excused himself, looking completely unapologetic about the situation.

Meanwhile Y/N looked absolutely horrified as she took in the drenched state of her shirt that now had the stench of alcohol on it. The fact San was bursting out in giggles only served to make her even more mad.

"Now tell me how do you plan on explaining that to dear old-"

"Can it San or I swear I'll gauge your eyes out." She threatened him as she stormed out the building, not caring that she bumped into a few figures on her way out.

Feeling just a bit of empathy for his old friend, San sighed softly before following after her. Upon catching up to her, he took hold of her wrist and started dragging her in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Get your filthy hands off me! I will not hesitate to scream!" She tried tugging her arm away.

"Calm down I'm not planning on kidnapping or anything like that sweetheart. I'm taking you back to my car."

She let out a dry laugh at that.

"But that's not kidnapping?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I have a spare shirt in the backseat that you can change into. Unless you wanna go home smelling like PBR." He looked back to see the mess one more time, lips curling up into a smirk.

Against her better judgment, she allowed him to take her all the way where his car was parked, standing there quietly as San rummaged through the backseat before taking out a clean plain white tshirt and held it out to her.

"Here. Put it on."

She looked at him with a face that asked if he was stupid.

"Well what?" He asked.

"Oh yes..I'm totally going to strip in a middle of the street and let anyone passing by see." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh for fuck's sake, there's nobody here, nobody is going to see and frankly I don't think anyone cares about seeing your non existent boobs." He scorned at her as he gestured to her chest.

"Ok rude and uncalled for." She felt slightly hurt by his comment, having always been somewhat insecure about the size of her chest.

"Don't look." She warned him.

"Not like I want to." He jeered at her as he turned away to not only give her privacy, but to also serve as a lookout for anyone that might accidentally show up and see the scene. He could hear her behind him tearing off her clothes and then slipping it back on.

"Ok there. I'm done." Y/N announced as she stuffed the soiled shirt into her bag.

"Not even a thank you?" San pouted slightly, to which Y/N gave a feigned smile.

"Thanks."

With that said and done, she brushed past him and started walking away, absolutely done with the night.

"Careful not to get caught sneaking back inside your house." She heard San say from behind.

"For your information I'm not living with them anymore. I moved into the dorms 2 months ago." She stated in a matter of factly, a proud look on her face.

"Well in that case....want to ride back with me?" He offered.

"Yeah no, I'd rather take my chances at being kidnapped and then butchered up. Besides, I wouldn't want to cut your wild night short." She declined the offer.

"Stop being so negative Nancy and accept my generosity. Geez."

Running over to her, he quickly snatched her up and threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her shocked exclaims and protests.

"Now this is really kidnapping!" She declared.

"Yeah I know, now shut up before I duct tape that bratty mouth of yours." San grinned mischievously as he tossed her into the backseat and shut the door before striding over to get on the driver's seat.

"Oh come on. Stop looking at me like I'm a criminal. Just because I indulge in a few sins every now and then, doesn't make me into a bad person." He stated when he saw the dirty look she gave him.

"Whatever." She muttered as she locked in her seatbelt.

San opted for just driving back to the dorms and get Y/N tucked in her bed since it was clear to him she needed it.

╬╬═════════════╬╬

"You're lucky my roommate is on vacation, otherwise I would have left your ass back there." Y/N spewed out as she threw her keys onto her dresser.

"Thanks Y/N, I always said you were the nicest and most giving person in the planet." San complimented her as he felt he should given she was letting him stay the night in her dorm after a little tiny incident with his keys dropping inside one of the manholes surrounding the university. And the administration office wouldn't be open til the morning, meaning he was screwed unless his roommate showed up to let him in, but that was a definite no since San knew Seonghwa would definitely end up in someone else's bed and come back til the next day, hickeys plastered all over his neck and chest.

"No, you always said I was the most stuck up-"

San shushed her by pressing a hand over her mouth.

"You dwell so much on the present image of me you drew up in your head that you completely erased the friend you had all those years ago." He slid his hand off her mouth, shoulders slumping down as he turned away from her to crouch on the floor.

"That friend doesn't exist anymore, that is if he even existed in the first place. If I recall, my friend wasn't into parties, booze, vaping, tattoos, piercings and fucking around with every whore in the school."

San didn't say anything as he heard her ramble, he just let her talk away as she started pulling out spare blankets and pillows for him to use.

"My Sannie was sweet, cute, adorable, always ready to lend people help and respectful to others." She reminisced with a sad look. Pulling her expression straight, she laid out the blankets and started arranging them neatly on the floor.

"I still am."

San's voice was so quiet that she barely registered that he even opened his mouth in the first place, but she heard him.

"Maybe if you weren't so puffed up with pride and didn't cut me off after I cut ties with the church, you'd see that I'm still the way I was. You think I changed completely because of ink and metal on my body? Because I wanted to try certain substances and yes, satisfy some perfectly normal and humane needs?"

Y/N averted her gaze from him and continued the task she was in. San let out a despondent scoff.

"Of course you do. And yet didn't I just demonstrate to you back there that I haven't changed? Giving you my shirt, giving you a ride, yeah I know, it's not much and no big deal, but wasn't those the types of things I'd do even back then?"

Y/N's tongue poked against her cheek as she knew she couldn't deny that was San said was absolutely true. He did nothing different back at the party as he used to do years ago. Helping old ladies with grocery bags, giving away some of his clothes to less fortunate kids, he was always known as being such a giving and kind person.....

No wonder so many were devastated when it was announced he had resigned as a member of the church. Y/N herself was hurt and even indignated by his decision. And after that she adamantly refused to see him or talk to him, and of course San respected her decision and avoided contacting her so as to not make her uncomfortable. He understood that their friendship was broken and he wasn't going to overstep boundaries just to try and fix it when the other party didn't want it. So he just decided to live his life as he thought was right without his conscience bothering him. And he was much happier now, he felt free, something that he had never felt before. Perhaps he was so chained down by formality, discipline, strict regulations and even fear that he didn't realize that he was miserable all that time until his eyes were fully open and he found he didn't like what he saw, especially after seeing the dark and ugly side of what was supposed to be a safe and pure sanctuary. He was let down severely and he suffered in the process. But now that was behind him and he had no regrets......

Except Y/N. He truly missed her and her company. As he laid on the makeshift bed on the floor, he found himself unable to sleep as he recalled all those fond times spent with her. The trips to the lake, hiking, first day of school, their first accident after he had gotten his driver's license. He let out an involuntary smile at that memory. Unbeknownst to him, the girl on her bed was equally reminiscing on the old days filled with her best friend. She had been so alone ever since she distanced herself from him, the world now feeling empty and cold without him. Shifting around in her bed, she whined into her pillow as she desperate tried to sleep.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?" Her question startled San momentarily.

"Are you that sleep deprived that you're suddenly asking me to confess my worst sins?" He chuckled amusedly.

"Maybe it'll help me get actual sleep, I don't know. And.... I'm just curious." She clutched one of her plushies and started messing around with it.

"Curiosity killed the cat and I don't think your virgin mind will be able to handle my confession." He asserted confidently.

"I'm not a virgin, but oh well. Just tell me, what's the worst?" Her casual response made San flip out. He sat upright and kneeled at the front of her bed with an incredulous look.

"What do you mean you're not a virgin? When did you-?" He was so flabbergasted he wouldn't even finish his sentence.

Rolling over to where he was, Y/N smirked at him.

"Uh uh. I asked you a question first and you have to answer it before I can answer any you want."

Knowing he had no alternative, San placed his chin on the top of her mattress.

"Had a threesome with 2 of our professors." He laughed when he saw how shocked Y/N looked.

"What?! No way!" She refused to believe him.

"It's true. I won't tell you who they were since you won't be able to look at them the same way if I did...... I'll just dish this: they both got really huge tits and it's a shame they're married." He admitted with a smug expression.

"I can't believe you." She fanned her face which she was sure was now a deep crimson color.

"Ok now your turn. When did this happen? Who was it with?"

Y/N didn't even mind that San got up and crawled into her bed to lay down next to her. His face was rested on his hands as he looked at her with intense inquisitiveness. Knowing she'd have to talk about it sooner or later, she thought it would be best if San was the one to know since he would never tell anyone else and he'd understand since he was tainted as well.

"Remember when that group of missionaries came to stay over at our city for a while back in high school?"

San nodded, vividly remembering everything. Y/N blushed and smiled shyly.

"Do you remember that there was a family with a son our age? Chase?"

San widened his eyes and flopped over on his back as his hands came to hide his face.

"Oh dear lord, please don't tell me it was that Canadian boy." He groaned in pain.

"Yeah....yeah it was."

San couldn't stop cringing at the thought of his friend doing such a thing.

"How even did that happen?" He was so lost.

"I don't know! It just did ok? It happened while we were out in that camping trip. Somewhere there, we were left alone and we started talking about everything and nothing til it spiraled into talking about sex and us being virgins decided to see what was the big deal....." She bit her lower lip as the memory flashed in her mind. Looking over at San, she knew he was judging her as she expected. A tiny snort escaped his lips.

"That must have been the worst 45 seconds of your life." He joked, earning him a slap on his chest by Y/N's hand.

"It was not 45 seconds!............. it was 2 minutes."

San only laughed harder at that, nearly crying from how funny it was to him. He composed himself though when he saw how embarrassed Y/N looked about it. Feeling bad for laughing at her expense, he cleared his throat and patted her head.

"It's ok. First times are always awkward and uncomfortable. The problem was you weren't prepared and you were both inexperienced. He just didn't know how to please you."

Y/N couldn't help herself as she asked:

"And I suppose you can?"

Flipping onto his stomach, San cupped her chin with his hand and ran his thumb across her lower lip.

"Don't tread on dangerous territory little angel lest you want an evil demon to corrupt you." He warned her, and although he wouldn't actually follow through on it, he did want to tease her a little. But he wasn't expecting for Y/N to play along to his teasing, only she was not joking at all as she brought her face closer to his.

"Maybe I want you to corrupt me, show me what I've been missing out on." She brushed her lips against his, tongue daring to poke out and press on his slit briefly, leaving him stunned.

"You have no idea what you're asking for princess." San mused as he held himself back from touching her.

"I know what I'm asking for Choi San and what I'm asking for....is you." She responded with confidence.

Escaping from underneath the blanket that covered her, Y/N reclined back on the mattress, her head laying on her soft pillow as she gestured for San to come over to her, which he promptly did. Parting her legs so he could fit his body between them, he smirked softly down at her eagerness, fingers brushing against the soft skin on her thighs.

"You're serious about this?" He wanted to make sure it wouldn't be something she'd regret.

"I already messed up once, what's one more time gonna do?" She pulled him down against her, not caring when he lost balance and accidentally crushed her under him with his muscular body.

"Besides...." Wanting to further entice him, Y/N brushed her lips against his ear.

"Look at me and tell me you don't want to fuck me. That you don't want to stuff that hard cock of yours into my tight and inexperienced pussy. Bet you're itching to tear into me until I'm crying under you. Don't you want that?"

San let out a moan at hearing such filthy and depraved talk from her. It only fueled his appetite and hunger for indulging in carnal desires.

"Yes... I want that.... I want you."

Closing space between them, San molded his lips over hers, encasing them in a sloppy and wet kiss. Y/N could faintly make out the leftover scent of alcohol and nicotine as she let him taste her mouth, but she didn't mind or felt grossed out by it. She just kept her lips parted and allowed him to move his tongue freely inside her. Cupping her cheeks, San continued to roll his tongue over hers, massaging it gently with both deep yet gentle strokes. When he pulled away, he made sure to tuck her bottom lip between his teeth, pulling it towards him as Y/N let out a moan that was like music to his ears. Pausing briefly, their lips were barely touching as they breathed in each other's air. San was the first one to break into a smile, the one that had Y/N melting since it displayed his dimples to the fullest.

"Never thought I'd hear that sound come out of your pretty mouth." He teased her.

"S-shut up." She frowned, hand reaching up to smack his chest.

"It's not a bad thing. I like it. Now let's see if I can make sure you keep them up."

Stuffing his face into her neck, San ghosted his lips across her skin, tongue subtly poking out solely to hear her breath hitch slightly. Dipping his tongue into her collarbone, his lips opened up so they could firmly latch and spread wet kisses across her neck. Y/N gasped when she felt teeth sink down, head tilting back to give San more room which he took advantage of. Focusing on particular spots that he knew she was sensitive in, he sucked her skin into his mouth. Each time he pulled away, he reveled when he saw the finished mark that was now painted on her skin.

"I would love to see your parent's reaction to my love bites." He brushed a fingers across the newest spot he just embedded in her body, hand then reaching up to suddenly clasp around her neck. Y/N shuddered when his grip got tighter, her oxygen intake getting cut and making her feel hazy, but it was nonetheless enjoyable. Snaking a hand under her shirt, or more like his shirt, San swiped his tongue over his bottom lip as he started to pull the material up.

"How about I make some matching ones all across your pretty chest?"

Before he could lift the shirt any further, Y/N's hand clasped around his wrist, preventing him from moving any further.

"Don't." She begged him.

San retracted his hands away from her, fearing he made her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." He immediately apologized and began to move away from her, but Y/N's hands raked against his thighs to keep him in place.

"No, it's not you. It's just..... if we're going to do this, can I keep the shirt on? I don't...." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she admitted an insecurity of hers.

"I don't like my chest. My boobs are too small, it's unflattering and I'd rather you not see them." She slowly opened her eyes to see his reaction. San had a sad look on his face, bottom lip poking out as his fingers came up to brush against her cheek. Remembering what he had previously said back in the parking loyal, he felt terrible for saying that ill intended joke about her body. He probably hurt her and he didn't realize it.

"Y/N don't say that. Your chest size doesn't matter. You're beautiful the way you are and I bet underneath that layer is clothing there is the cutest and most adorable set of boobs in the world." She let out an involuntary giggle at his words, letting him run his hand down her clothed sternum.

"But if that's what you want, I'll respect it. Either way, my tshirt looks amazing on you." He acknowledged rather cockily.

Shifting further back, San took hold of the top of her shorts, making sure to look at her.

"Are you ok with these coming off?"

Y/N resisted the temptation to slap the top of his head.

"If you don't take them off, how are you going to fuck me genius?" She retorted.

"You'd be surprised at what I've learned." He uttered, mostly to himself than at her.

Like an expert, he practically tore her shorts down her legs, panties falling to the floor along with them. Y/N let out a soft squeal when he took hold of her thighs and brought her down so his face was at eye level with her most intimate part. San took a few seconds to admire her bare mound, lips parted and threatening to start drooling all over her thighs. Pressing both thumbs against each one is her lips, San pried her folds open, staring intently as he now clearly saw all of her.

"Oh fuck. I'm gonna need to prep you real good. I can tell you're going to be really tight."

She wanted to ask him what he meant by prep, but her words got caught in her throat when she felt his tongue delve into her core. She had never felt someone's mouth anywhere near her folds and she regretted not having experienced it before. Her eyes shut tight as she marveled at the sensation of San's tongue lapping at her bud, his lips making sure to enclose all around the flesh surrounding it before giving it gentle suckles. Shaky breaths blew out from her mouth, her legs wanting to close themselves around San's head but his firm grip on her thighs kept it from happening. He kept her knees pinned to the bed as his mouth continued to ravish at her taste, sloppily consuming her heat fervently. Her mind was so occupied in what he was doing that she didn't register the hand that slowly crept away from her thigh until she felt something poke at her entrance.

"Oh-" She gasped, opening her eyes to see what was going on.

"Relax princess. It's just my finger.....for now." He momentarily pulled off her heat to let her know what was happening before diving back in to continue his task of eating her out.

His finger inside her felt a little weird at first, sliding in slowly before pulling out only to plunge itself back into her. During one of those times where she expected him to slide back in, she was surprised when she felt herself being stretched out as San curled a second finger inside her. Keeping them lodged there, he began scissoring them alternatively so he could further spread her walls apart. During one of those movements, his fingertips brushed along her hood, making her hips slightly jolt up into San's face, who smiled against her folds as he now knew exactly where to angle his hips for later. Using this new knowledge, that was probably unbeknownst to Y/N, he slipped his fingers deeper into her, knuckles deep as he moved his tips rhythmically on the the spot he found. Y/N's mouth fell wide open into an 'O' as whiny gasps and airy moans poured out of it. San's mouth latched to her clit and his fingers working deep in her hole was producing a stirring in the lower pit of her stomach that she couldn't quite make out. But it felt good, especially since it continued to grow more and more, almost as if it was a cord about to snap.

"San- wait. I feel, I feel-" She couldn't finish her sentence as her body trembled slightly, a flood of overwhelming pleasure washing over her that was prolonged by San drinking up the juices that spilled forth out of her body. He didn't pull away until he made sure to swallow every drop she had to give.

"Aren't you grossed out?" She asked him, always having wondered about that.

"Nope. I love licking girl's pussies, especially if they're as sweet as yours." He affirmed while pulling his shirt off his body.

Y/N turned her flustered face away from him, keeping her gaze locked on the wall to her right, which was decorated with several polaroids of her with her family, friends and members of her church, some of them even had San in them, back when they were inseparable. Before she could become nostalgic, a strong set of hands clutched her chin and teared her gaze away from the pictures, forcing her to stare at the now naked man in front of her.

"Forget about that for now. Right now I want your full attention on me and what we're about to do. After we're done, that image of a good girl you have will gone." His words seemed to almost taunt her.

Although she tried not to look, Y/N's eyes fell in between San's legs, filled with astonishment when she glimpsed for the very first time at her former friend's member, fully erect and leaking at the tip as it awaited to be hugged by her warm walls.

"Like it? Maybe later I'll let you play with it." San giggled when her eyes shot up at him in surprise.

Placing himself to hover above her, he hummed lowly as he slowly stuffed himself inside her, working her open until he was fully nestled inside her warmth. Although she felt a light burn scraping against her inner walls, it wasn't unpleasant or painful like her first time. She could tell San knew exactly what he was doing as he began rolling his hips. Perfectly recalling exactly where to aim at, he made sure to angle his thrusts accordingly so each time he pushed back in, he'd hit her pleasure spot.

"Oh God-" Y/N exclaimed when he continued to brushed against the hood of her core.

"Really think it's a good idea to call out the good lord's name when I'm balls deep inside your pussy?" He asked with a malicious smirk plastered across his face.

"No baby. Tonight your only lord is me."

Pinning her wrists above her head, San continued pushing his cock deeper into her. The harsh pounding of his hips against hers was becoming louder, their bodies starting to get heated and producing sweat. Y/N couldn't do anything but whimper and wrap her legs around San's waist, keeping him firmly locked to her body. She closed her eyes once more as she felt the same familiar feeling from before start piling up, only it felt more intense and stronger probably due to the fact that she was getting railed to her bed by her ex best friend, whom she still cared about deeply. She was definitely not planning on making up with him this way, but holy hell, she couldn't deny that he was making her feel so many emotions at once. Pleasure, lust, satisfaction, happiness, euphoria, love? Perhaps that last one was definitely a stretch, but she blamed her confused thoughts on how well his cock was abusing her hole. She felt unable to focus on anything except him.

"Clenching so hard around me babygirl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock?"

Slipping one hand in between their bodies, San pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it back and forth so it would serve as an extra push to tip her over the edge. Y/N splayed her hands on San's lower back, nails raking against his skin, causing him to hiss.

"Fuck- am I seriously making you feel that good babygirl?" He knew for a fact he was feeling absolutely amazing, her tight warmth gripping along his shaft, making it hard for him to hold back much longer.

"Mmm yeah." She shamelessly moaned.

"Am I better than your first?" Although he already knew the answer, he still wanted to feed his ego and hear her say it.

"So much better! It feels so fucking good." She inhaled sharply when that she began to feel the sensation from before. With even louder cries from before, her body shook underneath San's, blood rushing to her head as an even greater orgasm coursed through her body. She was left speechless, a full on panting mess even after San had pulled out of her after helping her ride out her high.

"Oh geez. Shit." San's voice rasped out as he jerked himself off, his cum painting her thighs white, not stopping until he had finished coating them with everything he had to give.

Looking down at the mess, Y/N couldn't suppress a tiny giggle, one of her hands clasping over her mouth while the other picked up some of his cum and spread it between her fingers.

"Having fun there?" San grinned, finding her fascinated gaze to be completely adorable to him.

"Yeah.." She said as sat up to get a better look at the cum around her thighs.

"Well I was going to clean it off you, but seeing as you're so entertained by it, I'll just leave you with it."

Not forgetting that he was merely a guest, San slid himself off her bed and plopped his tired body onto the blankets on the floor. Closing his eyes, he was thinking he would finally be able to sleep, but he found his plans thwarted when he felt a pair of hands graze across his chest. Looking up, he found Y/N straddling his lap, biting down on her lower lip as she grinded her wet folds along his softened dick which was now becoming hard again thanks to her.

"What in the world are you doing you crazy girl?" He sucked in a breath, not expecting her to suddenly pounce on him.

"I wanna try that again." She pleaded, grinding her hips harder on him.

"Oh my- did I accidentally turn you into a nymphomaniac?" She chuckled at his joke and although he groaned as if he was frustrated, he obliged to her wishes and sat up.

Clasping her waist with his hands, he lifted her up and guided her so she could easily sink herself down on his length. Not letting go, he slowly rolled his hips up, burying himself deep in her body once more. Since they were both still riled up from their previous session, it didn't take long for both of them to start spewing out a clutter of moans and grunts as they once again get lost in a mist of lust that clouded their minds. San drunk up every expression on Y/N's face. Every twitch of her facial muscles, every shuddering breath she exhaled, each time her eyelids shut close, he marveled at seeing her enjoy the experience. He loved seeing her indulge in such an intimate practice with him, more so given how special she was to him, one of the most important people in his life aside from his family. Looking down at her torso, his fingers brushed along the hem of her shirt.

"Please...." His urging caught her attention.

"Please let me see all of you. I want to admire every inch of you and your beautiful body. I promise I won't laugh or judge. I just want to worship you."

Y/N hesitated briefly, still afraid to let him see what was hidden under the shirt.

"It's ok if you don't want to. I won't force you." He shot a kind smile at her as he focused back on making sure to drive his cock up into her.

Feeling safe and knowing she could trust her lifelong friend whom she thought of as a soulmate at one point, Y/N reached for the bottom of her shirt and peeled it off her body. Coming face to face with her bare chest, San groaned in ecstasy as he slid his hands up her body.

"Just as I predicted, you have very cute breasts."

Pulling her chest to his face, he opened his mouth and took one of her nipples in it, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. Y/N's fingers raked themselves through his hair, harshly tugging them when she felt his teeth sink themselves into her flesh.

"Aren't they too small?" She inquired.

Letting go of her breast with an audible pop, San cupped her chin.

"No baby, they're absolutely perfect. They're gorgeous, just like every other part of your body. You're gorgeous, absolutely stunning and holy fuck, you're driving me insane honestly." He confessed, his mouth diving into her other breast so it wouldn't feel left out from being tenderly kissed and sucked on.

His words sunk deep in Y/N's heart. He really did found her beautiful, attractive and it spurred something in her. Feeling a newfound passion, Y/N unconsciously began taking over their movements. Pushing against his thrusts, she began to set her own pace, rutting herself on top of his dick. San of course took notice and was happy about it.

"Oh wanna take over now baby? Well go ahead."

Laying back down on the floor, his eyes stared up at her with lust.

"Fuck yourself on me darling."

Encouraged by him, Y/N began bouncing herself on his cock. Finding an angle that she liked, she sunk down on his length over and over, her head thrown back as she used his body to push her down another spiral of immense pleasure. San just relaxed and admired the way she lost herself and gave into her deepest desires. He loved the way she rode his cock, and he loved feeling her walls tighten once more around his shaft.

"Oh shit- Sannie." She cried out his name as she quivered on top of him, her juices spilling out onto his cock once more.

Knowing fully well she was probably aching between her thighs, San gripped her hips and helped her ride out her climax so the feeling she was going through wouldn't go away just yet. He made sure to be gentle, easing her up and down his cock with absolute tenderness. Once he knew she was satisfied, he pulled her of him and set her down on the floor before sitting up above her body. Just like before, he took hold of his cock and began pumping his cum out of his body, plastering it all across her inner thighs and even splattering some on her stomach. Looking up, Y/N had the same giggly expression as before.

"Does my cum really make you burst into a fit of giggles?" He questioned her.

"I can't help it. It's just... I don't know. Maybe it's the fact it's so dirty and wrong, and then to have you spread it all over my body." She explained, which made San chuckle.

"Maybe I should baptize your thighs with my cum more often." Although he was joking, Y/N was more than willing to take him up on that offer.

"Will you?" She looked up at him with puppy eyes.

San studied her for a moment, before a wicked idea popped in his brain.

"How about you let me baptize and stain that pretty face of yours?"

Getting a hint of what he meant, Y/N got up on her knees while San stood up right in front of her, cock in hand as he brought it up to her lips.

"I hope you weren't planning on going to morning services tomorrow because I'm going to keep you up til morning until your knees hurt."

[stiltonbasket]

how does lqr deal with the jgy problem?

(author’s note: please reblog, since that’s how we get prompts for future ficlets!)

When one of Wang Sisi’s clients decided to take her on as a concubine, she was not quite as overjoyed as another woman might have been in her position.

Sisi is thirty-two years old, and she entered the Yunping brothel when she was barely twenty. In the twelve years since, she has heard all kinds of broken promises and witnessed innumerable cruelties, and she knows enough about the life of a minor wife to know that she doesn’t have it too badly in comparison. Sisi has never caught the wasting illnesses that make their rounds in brothels often, or had to entertain a violent client, and she has never had a child; but after entering Merchant Yao’s household, any one of those things might end up happening to her.

Yao-daren would keep frequenting brothels, and unlike when she was a prostitute, she wouldn’t be able to refuse him. She would have no way to defend herself if he beat her, and if he ever discovered the tinctures she drinks to prevent pregnancy, he would have every right to take them from her.

Those miserable truths accompanied her all the way down the alley she was dragged into five minutes ago, and echoed in her head like drumbeats as the thugs blocking her escape—hired by Yao-daren’s wife, no doubt—announced their intention to beat her to a pulp.

Merchant Yao will have nothing to do with me after this, she thinks, as the men raise their wooden clubs over her head.

And then, briefly: Good.

Sisi closes her eyes, having clawed and fought and struggled against them to the very last of her strength. But then someone’s hand is on her arm, yanking her up out of the mud as four still figures drop neatly to the ground by her feet, unconscious. One is bleeding from a deep wound to the shoulder, and Sisi snatches her toes back before the blood can stain her silk slippers.

She stares.

What in the world…?

“Gongzi?” she asks, as the—boy? man? who saved her wipes his sword and resheathes it. “What are you—”

“Fiends,” the white-clad cultivator sneers. “No matter, I’ll deal with them later. Lady, where were you going? I will escort you there, if that would not inconvenience you.”

“I was going to the cosmetics shop two streets away,” Sisi answers. Madam Yun's emporium is in full view of Yunping’s main square, which means that she will be relatively safe even if this bloodthirsty cultivator tries anything on the way. “After I finish my business there, I will be returning home.”

The cultivator frowns, staring deep into her eyes as if he recognized her from somewhere. But Sisi has known hundreds of handsome men in her day, and this one is far too gorgeous to forget, even if she had only seen him in passing.

“Where is home, guniang?”

“Guniang? Can’t you see how old I am?” Sisi says tartly. “I live at the Chrysanthemum House in the middle of town, xiao-gongzi. Now, either see me to the rouge shop or go away.”

“Chrysanthemum House, eh?” the cultivator grumbles. “It’s just as I thought. Your lover’s wife sent those thugs to scar your face, didn’t she?”

“I guess so. It happens often, when a man decides he wants another woman in his house.”

“Mm. By any chance, would you happen to know a lady called Meng Shi?”

“A-Shi?” Sisi looks over the man's rich robes and the mutton-fat yaopei hanging from his waist; she can gauge the quality of most jade pieces at a glance, and this yaopei is made of the finest jade Sisi has ever seen. The cultivator is even wearing white jade in his hair, set into a bright silver comb that glints under the afternoon sun like a mirror, and her spirits sink even further as she realizes who this man must be.

A-Shi always said her A-Yao's father was a wealthy cultivator, and it seems that she hadn't been taken for a fool after all.

"You've come to buy A-Shi's freedom, then?" she demands, trying not to sound too grim about it. "Meng Shi? You're sure?"

"En, Meng Shi. If her son is bound here as a servant, I will buy his freedom as well. Will you show me the way, Lady?"

Sisi does, with her heart in her mouth, praying to every god she knows to keep Meng Shi safe.

____

“I want to buy this woman's freedom," Lan Qiren declared, the moment Sisi led him to the Chrysanthemum House. "Where are the contracts for Meng Shi and Madam Sisi? If anyone else has offered to buy them out, I will match the price tenfold."

"Qiren!" his brother shrieked, bursting through the open door on Yinshui. "Didi, what are you—"

He stared at the gold pieces in Lan Qiren's palm, and grabbed the nearest cabinet for support.

"A-Ren?" Lan Haijing wheezed. "Did—did you just—"

"En. Once matters are settled here, I will bring them back to the Cloud Recesses."

"What?" Sisi screamed. "I don't even know this young master!"

"No," Meng Shi wailed. "He's not A-Yao's father, and if I leave now—"

Lan Qiren handed the money over.

The madam stamped the two women's contracts and passed them to Sisi.

Qingheng-jun fainted.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

I Love You Too, Love

Bang Chan x reader; just some good ol' tooth-rotting fluff

A/N: My first attempt at writing a real scenario lmao. Do lmk how it was❤Also, it's funny how I'm an anti-romantic to the core, but it all goes out the window when it's Chan

Coming back home at night after a long day at uni/work, you wanted nothing more than to cuddle and watch a nice movie with Chan. Your best friend had been on tour with his group, Stray Kids, for the past three months, and the daily messages and FaceTime calls were not nearly enough to stop you from missing him like crazy. The teeny tiny (or so you insisted) crush that you had on him, didn't help either. You missed his voice, his tight hugs, the way he would always listen to rant about your day, the way he would always know what to say, the way his smile would light up your day, everything. While he did try to fill the gap by still listening to your rants on a daily basis on FaceTime, it just wasn't the same without him being there in person.

Sighing, you unlock your door, expecting to be met with pitch darkness. Instead, what you saw made you drop your bag to the floor, as tears welled up in your eyes. There, standing in the middle of your living room, was Chan, your best friend, who was supposed to be away for yet another month. Not able to believe your eyes, you pinch yourself, only to realize that he is indeed there, in the flesh, smiling at you as if you mean the world to him (unbeknownst to you, you most certainly do).

"Missed me?," he asks, and you suddenly find yourself running towards him at full speed, crashing into his chest and wrapping your arms around him in the tightest hug ever. This causes Chan to slightly lose his balance, and makes him laugh heartily before placing a gentle kiss atop your head. "I missed you too, love. So so so much."

After staying like that for a solid two minutes, you finally break free, glaring up at him playfully. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?," You ask, trying your best to suppress your smile and appear angry. This causes him to chuckle before cheekily saying, "If I had told you, I wouldn't have been able to seen your true happiness at seeing me. If you already knew, you would probably have acted as if you're disgusted that I'm back, and we didn't want that now, did we?"

You shove his chest slightly, before finally turning your head towards the dining table, only to be met with the sight and aroma of all your favourite dishes, that Chan had apparently spent all evening trying to make. "You must be hungry. Freshen up and let's dig in, I'm starving," He says, pushing you lightly towards the bathroom. While getting changed, you finally register the fact that your heart is hammering in your chest, reminding you that the man standing in your living room means so much more to you than just your best friend.

Being away from Chan for months has made you realize that what you feel for him is much more than just a crush. You may very well be in love with him, but you're too scared to admit it because neither do you want to face rejection, nor can you bring yourself to put his career at risk. With these thoughts in mind, you finally exit the bathroom, sighing deeply to yourself.

You don't, however, notice that Chan too, is in a dilemma of his own. Before going on tour, he too, knew that he liked you. But being away from you made him realize that you are his home, and that he would much rather be with you than with anyone else. He has been planning to confess today, and has been trying to gauge your feelings ever since you came back home. Your sigh doesn't escape him, and, full of concern, he asks, "What's wrong, love? Got something on your mind? You know you can always tell me." Truth be told, he's worried and scared that you already know about his feelings, and don't reciprocate them. He fails to see your knees going week and a blush creeping up your cheeks at the nickname, and instead, all he notices is you giving him a small smile and saying, "Not at all Channie, I'm completely fine. Now let's eat up before the food goes cold."

Once you guys get a couple bites in, the awkward atmosphere starts easing once again. Chan tells you all about the tour and all the places he saw. "London was the best, but I wish you were there. You would have enjoyed the London Eye." "Well then, you'll have to take me there one day." You tell him about how life has been back in Seoul, ranting about your annoying professor/boss, and he tells you about all the small trinkets that he saw at souvenir shops that reminded him of you. "That charm bracelet was so you, I just had to buy it." "You didn't have to Chan. I don't need any gifts, having you back home is enough."

After dessert, you ask him if he'd stay the night, and he says that since he has the week off, the boys don't expect him to back at dorms until the following morning. "So.....you're staying?," You ask with a small smile tugging at your lips. He smiles back at you lovingly, and ruffles your hair before saying, "Yes love, I'm staying. Now let's watch a movie."

After picking the movie, you come back to sit on the couch next to Chan, throwing your legs across his lap. Now it's his turn to blush, but unlike him, you're not oblivious to his reddening cheeks. "Awww, is Channie blushing? Why? This isn't the first time I've thrown my legs over your lap," You chuckle, causing him to hide his face in his hands. "Yeah but, I've really missed this being away from you all this while," He smiles warmly.

The first half of the movie goes by with the both of you making random comments about it. At one particular scene where the characters are having nachos, Chan suddenly exclaims, "Salsa reminds me, the boys and I learnt a little Salsa during our time in Italy, and I really wanted to teach you some of the moves." "Me?," You ask, bewildered, causing Chan to become shy and start stuttering. "I-I m-mean if you w-want to. It's o-okay if y-you don't."

You're having a hard time trying not to melt into a puddle at his cuteness, as you force your mouth to open, and say, "No Chan, I'd love to." "Really?," He returns to his giggly self, as he gets up off the couch and extends his hand out for your to take. You smile and take his hand, and he brings you to the center of the room. "Just one sec," He says, pausing to pick the music on his phone. Once he's done, he places his phone on the table, and starts guiding you through the dance, one step at a time, with the movie being nothing more than a long-forgotten background noise. "Left foot forward, right foot backward. That's right, now dip, and come back. Now place your leg on my waist....," You both freeze at this, realizing what he just said. It's only then that you notice just how close you are to him, and the familiar feeling of your heart racing comes back. You both stare at each other, hypnotized, before your eyes flick to his lips and back up to his eyes. When he does the same, you timidly ask, "Can I kiss you?"

That's all it takes to break Chan out of his trance, as he crashes his lips onto yours, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You don't even notice that he is backing you up, until you feel your back hit the wall. His lips taste sweet and a little spicy, which you attribute to the food you had earlier. The kiss is soft but full of emotions, and even though it does seem a bit cliche, you can feel fireworks fly. The butterflies in your stomach every time you see Chan seem to have been replaced by a whole zoo, and you can't help but smile into the kiss. This causes Chan to break into a smile as well, before he gently lets go.

"I really want to keep kissing you because God have I been waiting to do that for years, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest first," He says, shy once again. "I like you, a hell lot. Actually no, screw that, I think I'm already in love with you. I've known this for a long time, but I was just scared to admit it. Being away from you during the tour made me realize that I want to be more than just 'best friends' with you. I want to call you 'mine,' and I want to be yours." "Oh Channie, you don't know how much I have wanted to hear you say that you love me too, this distance has been a wake-up call for me too, but I was just so scared of jeopardizing either our friendship, or your career. And I can't have either of those two." "Don't worry about my career, we'll find a way out love. Just say the word, say that you love me." To this, you gawk at him, before saying, "I gave you a speech on that just now, didn't I? Of course I love you." "Yeah but you didn't explicitly say that you love me, idiot. But now that you've said the right words, I legit feel like the happiest man on earth." You shove him slightly before wrapping your arms around his torso. "So, now that we've got our feelings sorted, what does that mean for us?" "Well, for starters, I think it means that my nickname for you just took on a literal meaning," Chan smirks. You pout at this, but then say, "I love you Channie." He places his chin in your head, and says, "I love you too, love."

[donald4spiderman]

Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!

no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.

I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.

also sorry this is a long

TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing

WC: 1.5k

-

You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.

You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.

Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.

You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?

You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.

Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.

It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.

“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.

“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”

“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”

You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”

Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.

“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.

You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”

Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.

“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”

You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”

“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”

-

Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.

Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.

“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.

But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.

“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”

Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”

He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.

“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.

“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”

Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”

Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.

“I need all of your guys’ help.”

-

There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?

You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.

“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”

“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.

“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.

But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.

“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.

You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.

“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”

After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.

“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.

“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.

You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.

Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.

“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”

His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”

Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.

“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.

You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.

Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.

“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”

He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”

“Okay...”

“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”

You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.

Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.

“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.

He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.

“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.

“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.

“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”

The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.

“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.

“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.

Nothing’s ever felt so right.

[albedoswifehusband]

Since you said requests are open, can you do an Albedox!Shy!Virgin!Reader smut where it's the Windblume Festival and they have their first time?

I went with afab for the body type I hope that's okay!  I think this is one of the softest smuts i’ve ever written. Also this turned out WAY longer than I planned on it being (its now the longest smut piece I've ever written) so it took me a long time to finish ;-; Also it ended up being mostly buildup rather than full smut. Under a cut!

---

"Would you like to come inside and stay a while?" Y/N nervously fiddles with their hands after asking Albedo such a question. The two currently stand just outside Y/N's apartment where their boyfriend was dropping them off after a long day of celebrating the windbloom festival in town together.

Albedo accepts his significant other's invitation and steps into their home after them. Keeping a respectable distance, he tries his best not to think about the implications of being invited into his date's home, alone. Y/N looks around the room nervously and steps closer to the man shyly asking if they can kiss the alchemist while he's here.

He smiles at them and takes a hand in his own, pulling them closer until their lips meet tenderly. His eyes close while feeling the sweet affection. Albedo’s free hand snakes around to press gently against the area in between Y/N’s shoulder blades and he slowly deepens the kiss. He tentatively opens his lips slightly to brush his tongue against his lover’s lips and when they open in response he carefully adds his tongue into their mouth to test the waters. He opens his eyes to gauge their reaction and is surprised to find them blinking fast while flustered. Albedo pulls back quickly and runs a soothing thumb over their hand,

“I’m sorry! Was that too much? We can slow down if you’re uncomfortable at all, Y/N.”

Y/N shakes their head and lets out a soft no while avoiding his gaze. They're taking a second to steel their nerves before they bring their free hand to envelop the other side of his hand he's holding their occupied one with. Looking only at his hand sandwiched between their own, they try their best to calm their flustered demeanor and ramble out,

"Actually, it's- it's not that at all! I just. Ahh um- I. I'd like to go further…. If that's okay? I just- I don't have any experience and I feel like I'm…. I'm going to make an absolute fool of myself in front of you!"

Albedo is surprised at this. Y/N is still looking down at their 3 hands joined together nervously. Their lover slowly brings them up to his lips where he presses gentle kisses to Y/N's knuckles in reassurance,

"You could never make a fool of yourself in my eyes, Y/N."

There's a slight blush covering the man's face as they finally look back up and meet his eyes with their own, his lips still pressed to their skin. They both pull away from each other and Y/N leads Albedo to their bedroom and leaves him for a moment alone where he gingerly sits on their bed and looks at his surroundings. His lover is back quickly, holding a packet in their hands that Albedo recognizes to be a condom. He breathes a sigh of relief since he hadn't been carrying one himself, not expecting this to be happening. Y/N grows more flustered than before when their lover grasps the item in his hands gratefully and places it on the bedside table for when the time comes.

Y/N can't feel their own face with how flustered they've gotten and they find themself avoiding Albedo's gaze again and fidgeting with their hands. He patiently waits for them to calm down enough to initiate things themself since he doesn't want to move too fast for their comfort. 

Albedo is pleasantly surprised when they bring their lips to his so soon for more kisses. He scoots further back onto the bed and tugs them forward to hover above him. Shuffling together awkwardly, clothing is taken off until Y/N sits exposed in front of Albedo, awkwardly covering themself with a corner of their bedding and flusteredly looking away.

"Y/N, would it be alright if I start touching you more… intimately?" The alchemist licks his lips nervously as he poses the question.

Y/N nods and replies yes. Their lover closes the gap and starts kissing the expanse of their neck, his hands taking the bedding from their grasp to uncover their body fully. Those hands come to rest on their waist and soon Albedo is finding a spot on their neck that makes them gasp and whimper with want. One hand makes its way upwards to palm at Y/N's chest, fingers ghosting over their nipple in a way that makes them shudder further into his touch. 

His other hand slowly makes its way lower until his fingers meet the top of their leg. Rubbing circles for a moment, he moves to drag his middle finger along their slit. It's a shock to them both just how wet it is already, perfect for what is about to happen. He circles his fingertip around their clit lightly for a few moments until they're holding onto his shoulders tightly from the pleasant feeling. 

Albedo brings his head lower to latch onto their free unoccupied nipple as he sinks the first finger into them. He's able to pump in and out easy and keeps up at these things together until his lover starts shaking and breathing harder against him. He mentally takes note of every reaction they give him and he slips in a second finger to start scissoring them open comfortably.

The moaning and needy gasps coming from above him just spur him on further to make them feel as good as possible. Y/N has played with themself alone before but it's never felt this good. Having someone else pleasure you really is something. They feel themself starting to come undone as he pumps to a specific spot inside them and they moan out louder than they'd thought they would,

"I- I'm gonna cum."

Albedo hums around their breast in acknowledgement and starts methodically playing their body to their peak. As soon as they're unravelling around his fingers he's kissing back upwards to their mouth before pulling back to watch them and slowly fucking his fingers into them to ride out their high.

"Bedo- hahh- I…. Can I…." They trail off, winded and embarrassed.

Albedo perks up as he removes his fingers from their soaked pussy and moves to wipe his hand on his discarded clothing, "What was that? Tell me what you want, please."

They take a moment to calm down again and lean forward to mumble at him,

"Will you please…. Put your. Uh- Please put your cock in me? I want to know what it feels like..." Y/N can't even look up at him into his eyes at this, too embarrassed at the words, and their eyes too caught on his dick straining, leaking precum between where they kneel facing each other.

Albedo gulps and nods, blushing profusely as he removes himself from the bed briefly to grab the condom they'd set aside to put it on himself. Y/N takes initiative to adjust their position so they're laying down now, pressing their legs together needily until Albedo is prepped and back by their side.

He climbs back onto the bed and grabs their legs to gently hook them over his shoulders. The look he gives them before speaking is fascinated,

"Are you ready?"

Y/N nods enthusiastically and says yes, trying to relax their muscles for the stretch they know will happen in a moment.

Albedo carefully pushes past their entrance and sheathes himself fully in a gentle single motion. The light burn is surprising, he's thicker than they'd expected and they're grateful he'd scissored them so carefully with his fingers first. 

He stays still inside them and reaches to hold their hands, soothingly rubbing his thumbs over their skin until they adjust fully and give him the go-ahead to start moving. Each movement gives a surprising feeling, different from playing with themself alone like normal. One particular thrust hits a spot that makes them involuntarily call out gasping in pleasure, and their lover takes special care to try and pull that pleased reaction out of them again. Y/N is soon cumming around him, walls tightening as he gasps and moans louder himself and falls forward briefly, his lover's legs slipping off of their perch awkwardly at the movement. 

Albedo’s hips stutter and sloppily buck into Y/N’s as he cums. Pulling out, he brings their hands to his face and kisses them sweetly. His eyes on them are entranced by how they look in the aftermath and All he can say for now is,

“Let me clean us up. You look amazing...”

Taking off the condom and tying it, he looks around briefly before turning his gaze back to his lover and asking,

“Two questions… Where is your bathroom, and where do you keep any soft rags?”

[wornoutmouse]

Last one I promise to stop bothering you ahhhhh . Can we plz get a Iida Tenya (pro hero age) smut (I love this guy) like maybe you reader catching him jerking off can you imagine prim and proper tenya doing dirty things? And things get crazy after:) thank you for listening to the rambles of a crazy woman

Your wish is my command

We all know Iida has a big dick right?

And yes i looked up black hairstyles cause i just started doing my own hair leave me alone 🤚🏿

Dubious Consent, blackmail, squirting

Working for the Iida family was honest but harsh work. They strived for professionalism and didn’t allow mistakes, no matter how small. With each member holding a leading title in almost every section of Japan, it was a no-brainer that you would choose to work with them. The only problem was, your socially oblivious boss.

One would think that as the new Ingenium’s sidekick, you would have an insider’s look into his personality and lifestyle, but that was farthest from the truth. For the 2 years that you’ve worked alongside him, you had been kept at a distance and forced mainly to handle the paperwork.

According to him, until he was sure you could handle yourself on the field, you needed to stay away from danger. In hindsight, you would have understood that choice and would have been completely fine with it. However the fact you couldn't m could never learn to handle yourself in the feels if you were never allowed on the feels was a glowing contradiction

Spending time with your boss was informative yet draining. He always set an example of a good business deal and would always explain things you didn’t understand.

The downside however, was his obsession with the non-existent dress code. Since you don’t do any outside work lately, you never put on your hero costume. So i you were always dressed in normal clothes, and every last one of them he had something to critique about.

“Here’s your coffee Mr. Iida.” The bluenette man hummed his appreciation and you turn to sit back at your corner desk.“Miss L/n….”

You tense, preparing yourself as the sound of his chair scraping against the hardwood floors announced his incoming presence. His heavy footsteps loomed closer until he stopped just barely behind you.

Your legs are kicked apart and you find your boss kneeling below you with a measuring tape. “I am appalled, your skirt is 4 centimeters away from the recommended 5 inches above the knee, we do not run a brothel here, please respect the code Miss L/n!”

You sighed, it was best to just go along with his antics. “Yes, Mr. Iida, I’m sorry for my ignorance.” As you bowed you faintly heard a small choking sound and Iida’s hands grabbed your shoulders to raise you back up. “I’ll have none of that bowing, it was a simple mistake.” He pushed up his glasses before stiffly walking back to his desk.

When he came back into view, his face was slightly flushed from what you assumed to be the heat, “I am printing something in the room below, do you mind getting it for me?” You nod and headed out the door. It may have been your imagination but you could have sworn you heard a faint curse word coming from your boss’s mouth.

Reaching the lower room was quick and effortless so you sat and waited for the presumed paperwork Iida was printing. Many of your coworkers passed you with pitying looks that you did your best to ignore. You knew that this life was not one strived for by an aspiring hero but you couldn’t just up and leave.

Your head began to itch slightly. Why is it taking so long to print? While you pondered the situation, you watched a short woman walk up to the copy machine and begin copying her own set of work. You felt your eye twitch, there wasn’t anything even programmed to print.

You stood up and quickly made your way back to your office. Stepping inside, you look blandly at your enclosed room. The memory of your boss's large windowed room flashes through your mind and you decide to work out there instead.

As you walked to the door that connected your office to his, you tilt your head curiously as a loud muffled growl comes from inside. "F-Fuck yes, suck that cock!"

His voice was guttural, and the words were something you would never dream of him saying. But what stuck out to you more was where it was all happening. I know this man ain't screwing at work!!

Without thinking you barge into the room and your jaw drops at the sight.

Sitting in your chair, was your boss, Tenya Iida. His hair was disheveled and his suit was reduced to nothing but his white shirt and open slacks. He was flushed from the neck up and sweat had accumulated in his brow.

Held tightly in his right hand was his dick and it was just as dodged as him. It was also bigger than you imagined

….not that you even imagined it in the first place.

Angry blue eyes dart up to look at you through low hanging bangs and you realised you had been staring. "This is uh… Sorry!" You internally cringe at the fact you stuttered.

As you turn around to leave, you are restricted by Iida's voice. "Stop." Almost as if in a horror movie, you turn back to him slowly and it takes all your willpower not to look down as he had shamefully left his manhood out.

You press yourself against the door as you watched Iida remove his glasses and place them on your desk. "It's rude not to knock Miss L/n." You swallow shallowly when he raises a finger to motion you forward and for a moment you lose all rational as you soon found yourself standing in front of him.

His legs were spread wide open and his dick looked like it was ready to bust any moment. The tip had become an even darker red hue, contrasting ironically with the trimmed layer of dark blue curls nestled at the base.

Despite the situation, the man before you sat looking rather relaxed. He slowly rolled up his sleeves and you caught sight of swirling tattoo sleeves wrapping around each bicep. "Come closer Y/n, I promise not to bite very hard."

He had never used your first name before and that seemed to compel you to move closer, allowing him to use your wrist to place you in-between his legs. "There is a very important rule that I have yet to teach you in the world of business."

The trained look he had focused on you left no room for argument as one of his large hands easily wrapped around your upper thigh. A shiver runs up your spine as his thumb strokes your skin slightly under your skirt. "When one has even an ounce of blackmail against you…"

Iida grabs the front of your blouse and uses it as leverage to tug you to the ground. Down there, fingers gingerly comb through your freshly dyed Nubian Twists, "... you need to blackmail them as well, fair trade and all that."

The grip in your scalp tightens and you feel your eyes slightly water at the sharp sting. The other hand still holding his cock, positions it towards your full lips as a silent order. Salty precum covers your mouth and your tongue darts out to lick it off. The sight was porn worthy.

Before you got too carried away, you decided to see how far you could push him. You bring your hands to softly wrap around his member as you gauged his response. "If I agree to this arrangement, what will I get in return?"

Iida sighed as you licked his dick starting from the balls to just below the top, "What do you want, a raise?" You shake your head and kiss a thick vein traveling along his shaft. "I want to work out there, as your official sidekick."

You could tell his patience was running thin as his hips twitched so you wrapped your mouth around the top, pressing the flat of your tongue against the slit. Iida looked down at you, teeth nibbling roughly on his bottom lip. "Why...ah~ why should I let you work anywhere near me after this!?"

In a bout of anger, you accidently let your teeth drag down the sensitive skin. Iida's eyes roll to the back of his head in such a way that you couldn't pinpoint it as a result of pain or pleasure. "I can easily report your victimizing and unprofessional behavior to HR."

Iida's eyebrows furrowed and he yanked you off of his cock. You stand up shakily before being slammed against his glass table. "You got a lot of nerve, making demands yet you're the reason I was being so unprofessional."

Iida slides down to his knees and raises your skirt over your plump ass. You internally groan as you remember the matching baby blue lingerie you were wearing, that was not going to help your case. Iida slaps your right asscheek nice and hard making you moan softly. "Who is this for?"

You decide to play into it, you sway your hips a little and stick your butt out closer to his face. "It's for me, myself, and I." Iida pulls at your panty strap before letting it snap back. You had to admit it stung. Giving attention to your other cheek, a tan hand takes hold of it and squeezes hard.

"And if I let you work with me, what is my reward?" Iida uses his teeth to pull the fabric of your underwear away from your hidden prize. You hummed as if in thought, "Good karma?"

Lips wrap around your clit and suck hard, "Sorry that's not good enough for me." You grind back on his face and relax on his table more. His hot tongue massaged and prodded your lips and clit, but never got close to being inside of you.

"Working as a pro hero is karma filling in itself, but it is stressful. Not enough time for personal focus."

Iida sucked on two of his fingers before siding them up and down your slit, taking extra time to teasingly delve past your opening before retreating just as fast. You groan, "What do you want me to do, suck your dick under the table on weekends?!"

Iida hums as he joins his mouth along with his fingers. You sigh as his large middle finger finally breaches you and sends soothing sparks throughout your body as it rubs against your walls. The combined stimulation of his hot tongue against your clit, and his even warmer fingers barely grazing against your g-spot had you in pure ecstasy.

"As convenient as that sounds, if someone were to find out we'd be in a lot of trouble." At this point you're bouncing back on his fingers giving Iida a show as your pussy squelches around his fingers. Your mouth hands open in soft pants, fogging up the clear glass below you.

Iida stand up as he continues to finger fuck you in the same rythm as he pumps his cock. "How about dinner and we see how that goes? Let's be professional." You side your clenched fists down your sides as Iida removes his fingers and replaces them with his dick.

You wait in anticipation for him to fuck you but he stands completely still, and you then realise that he was waiting for an answer. "You don't think it's a little too late, dinner comes first you know?!"

As much as Iida loved your banter, his dick was so fucking hard that your joke only agitated him.

Leaning over you, he places one hand on the glass table while the other takes hold of your hair, jerking it back. You hiss as your scalp burns for a moment, but that small pain was replaced with a greater one as teeth sank into your shoulder. "If your going to be sidekick material, that attitude is going to have to be worked on now stop testing me before I fuck it out of you."

You roll your eyes and grind down on his dick making him moan, "Fine sergeant dick, I'll be your little trophy wife, in return let me work for once, I didn't go to school for nothing damnit."

Your hair is released so much quicker than you expected that you almost hit your head on the table. Iida chuckles darkly, "Wife? Trophy slut would be a better word for it." Another harsh smack was delivered to your burning bottom, but he was satisfied after long last.

His hips finally press firmly against you as the full length of him is accepted with your pulsating core.You try to talk through the discomfort, "My ring better be huge after this."

Iida laughed sympathetically as he kissed the dark bruise forming from where he bit you. "The biggest money can buy."

The stretch began to feel pleasurable as his thrusts got faster. As a result of course you could feel yourself getting louder as well. "Faster!" Iida grunted as he held your waist to balance himself. Underneath the sound of the wobbling desk, your low groans are heard as the slapping of skin soon becomes more incessant.

"I've been waiting to fuck this lewd bottom for months! Parading around in all them damn form during outfits!"

The feeling of your bosses cock pumping in and out of you was overwhelming as he was ruthless when it came to chasing his own pleasure. Your legs trembled themselves closed, as you received another harsh slap to your ass. By the time this was over, you were sure you were going to be unable to sit.

On the other end, Iida was deeply pleasured by the sight of your ebony skin shaking from the force of each thrust. That's why it was unsurprising when a high pitched moan that most definitely wasn't yours fills the room.

"Ah, yes, I'm going to cum so deep inside of you, I can right? Pretty please!?" The man was practically whimpering as his cock twitched inside of you. If you were honest, you couldn't even answer as you feel his cum fill your insides. Even so, you felt your toes curl as he kept going.

"Come for me Miss L/n!" The shakiness that seeped from his voice as he fucked himself into an overstimulated mess was adorably pathetic. You do your best to reach in between your legs and stimulate your clit.

As you get closer, your cute hole tightens like a vice around Iida's cock and he finds himself coming again in quick spurts just like before. He was unable to take anymore stimulation and weakly pulled out of you before pumping the fingers in your wet heat. "Come on, cum on my fingers Miss. L/n."

You while loudly as you rub your clit faster and like a large wave, an orgasm crashes down on your body making s clear liquid spew from your cunt, wetting the floor.

[thetaoofzoe]

Fic: Midnight in the Desert 1/1

Title: Midnight in the Desert

Summary: Coffee + tiny bladder + long motorcycle ride = the best sex of your life

Rating: Smut, fluff, fun sexy times. My usual fare, you know what’s up. 

Pairing: Captain ‘Sy’ Syverson x YOU (AU)

Companion piece to The Road to Paloma  

‘I have to pee!’ 

You leaned against Syverson’s broad back and shouted at him above the roar of the bike’s engine. 

He turned his cheek against the wind. 

‘What?!’ he shouted back. ‘Again?? We just stopped an hour ago.’ 

‘I got a tiny bladder!’ you laughed as he decreased the bike speed. 

It was easier to talk now that the warm night air had stopped whipping away your words. You nuzzled fondly against his shoulder and eased your hands down over his belt buckle. 

‘There ain’t a place for miles,’ he said and lay his hand over your hands. ‘Can you hold it?’

You thought a moment and although that second cup of truckstop hazelnut coffee was a surprising delight to the senses, it was a mistake currently wreaking havoc on your bladder. 

‘I cannot. Nope, not in the least,’ you replied and left it up to your problem solving husband to figure it out.  

Up ahead on that long black stretch of barren backcountry Arizona road stood a high-mast sodium light which cast a broad oval of yellowy illumination across the road.  Syverson slowed the bike even more and drew close to the tall wood pole. You peered up at the ring of industrial bulbs and then down at the shadowy dirt area just at the rim of bright light. 

When he shut off the engine the world plunged into a kind of silence that only an evening on an empty road in the middle of a desert could create. Nothing but crickets, and the occasional nocturnal animal cry. You liked it. 

Syverson kicked the bike onto the stand and let the machine ease to one side. He got off it and turned to face you as he thumbed through his mobile. 

‘No signal,’ he grumped and then pointed to the saddle bag near your thigh. ‘Get out the map. Let’s take a look.’ 

You did as you were told. He always kept a big book of state maps in the bag for when the online maps failed. You paged through it, landed on the appropriate state and after a quick skimming search, you put a finger on a thin jagged red line. 

‘Highway 373,’ he said, looking down the length of your finger and rubbing his hand over his beard. ‘Yeah, see? Town’s at least another 60 miles.’

With your finger still on the map, you looked up at him and pouted. Syverson smiled fondly and used the tip of his index finger to push up your helmet visor so that he could see your eyes. He stroked the edge of his thumb back and forth against your cheek. 

‘Sure you can’t hold it?’ he asked in a tone that said come on baby you can do it.

But you shook your head and unstrapped your helmet. He removed his own in response. Might as well get comfortable.  

Handing yours to him, you rummaged about in your rucksack and made a noise of triumph when your fingers closed about a small plastic baggie. You pulled it out and held it up. 

One of the most valuable tips that you learned from women who were constantly on the road was that a ‘fuddy’ or a female urination device was a godsend and a life saver.  

Yours was pink. 

‘Looks like your girl is gonna have to make do,’ you said and groaned as your bladder protested the exertion when he helped you climb off of the bike. 

‘Awright,’ he said.  ‘Don’t accidentally piss on anything that I’m gonna have to fight, okay?’

‘Always my knight in shining armour, Sy,’ you called over your shoulder walking to the edge where the darkness met the light. 

He laughed and sat with his rear against the seat, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

‘Just do it where I can see you,’ he said. 

You stepped across that hard bright line and into the pale darkness.  

It seemed cooler there for some reason and you strained to look into the distance. The moon had gone in behind grey streaky clouds and backlit the jagged mountain range in the distance. You glanced back at the man leaning against the bike. He was still aware and watching and that comforted you. 

Always your protector.

Unzipping your loose heavy canvas trousers, you pressed the rubbery funnel into place and relieved yourself into the dirt. 

As the pressure subsided, your mood lifted and the thought of maybe another coffee didn’t sound so bad. Drying yourself and the funnel with a little bogroll, you tucked everything back into the baggie, righted your clothes and returned to the bike. 

Syverson’s keen gaze skimmed over you. 

‘Better?’ he teased.

You stored your bag into the rucksack  and stood back to look fully at him. 

‘You’re turning into a grizzly, you know that?’ you asked fondly, reaching up to run your fingers over his beard and then up over his jaw and to the back of his neck. 

‘I thought you liked me like this,’ he replied in his easy joking manner. 

He caught his thick facial hair between his thumb and forefinger and gave himself  a thoughtful stroke. You smiled and reached up to gently caress the back of his well shaped head with both hands. His eyes softened immediately and a knowing look crept into his warm gaze. 

‘What are you tryin’ to do?’ he asked. 

There was that soft, gentle laughter in his voice that you loved so much. It was the sound that had come to mean that he was settling in to play your game.  

You caught the corner of your lower lip between your teeth and looking away you lifted one shoulder in a shrug. 

‘What?’ you asked innocently, ‘I’m not doing anything.’ 

Syverson hooked his thumbs into the side belt loops of your trousers. He drew you closer but when you resisted he shot you a quizzical expression.

No play? asked that expression. 

He looked nearly betrayed that you would deny him access to the trouble he so dearly wanted to get into. He wanted to get into you.  

You moved a few steps away and when you held his full and undivided attention, you unzipped your trousers. With an insolent pause to gauge his reaction, which was immediate and intense, you shimmied, let them drop and then stepped out of them.  You wore his long tee shirt, and when the trousers dropped, the hem of it fell against your bare upper thighs, covering you. 

Syverson made a low, greedy noise in his throat. He grabbed you by the waist and in a smooth motion, he straddled the bike’s seat, and swung you effortlessly into the air before planting you firmly astride his lap with a solid thump.

You felt him move against you as he shifted in the seat and the tough material stretched taut across his muscular thighs scraped along the tender flesh of your inner thighs. A pleasurable shiver rushed through you and you put your hands flat on his heaving chest. Sy wet his lips and looked up at you. There was want and heat and desire in his blue eyes and your lips curved into a delighted smirk. 

This man, this beast of a man was yours and yours alone to do with whatever you pleased. 

‘I’ve never met a woman who was so exciting,’ he groaned, voice quiet, as if he didn’t want to break the spell you’d woven over him. 

You took the compliment in stride. Leaning in, you opened his mouth with your tongue and slid your hand down to his belt buckle. When you drew back, he looked down the length of torso and watched in breathless panting silence as you unbuckled his trousers and eased out his stiffening cock. You glanced at him, noting the colour rising high in his cheeks as he shuddered, put his head back and moaned. 

He slid up the lower edge of your tee shirt and massaged your bottom rhythmically, eagerly as you stroked him once, then again, curving your fingers around his thick girth and teasing his glistening head with your thumb. 

‘Yeah, baby. Good girl. Just like that,’ he groaned. ‘Oh, yeah, you know what I like.’ 

You warmed with the pleasure at being praised by him.

And gleefully, you twisted your slick fist and he arched, and tightened his grip on your hips. 

‘C’mon baby, c’mon… you’re teasing me.’ 

I love to tease you baby, I love how you respond to me. 

With his big hands supporting you,  you rose to your knees opening yourself to him and you whispered his name when he undulated and pushed up into your sweet quivering heat. 

As usual, you were unprepared for him, unprepared for the size of him. But you relaxed, closed your eyes, and clenched when his cock slowly stretched you to fit him. 

Between his competent, loving hands, Syverson held you still and lifted his face so that you could kiss him, softly, gently, as if the two of you were hidden away in your bedroom, and not fucking like unrestrained lusty beasts by the side of a silent desert highway. 

Sy thrust up hard into you, laying claim to you from the inside and an unnamed feral fire seared through you. You arched, sucked in a breath and your intentions of keeping quiet were obliterated. The throaty cry that erupted from you started but did not shame you. 

A roll of your hips elicited the same response from him and you hissed with pain when he dug his fingers into your vulnerable flesh. But he soothed you with warm honeyed kisses and the promise of ever increasing delights. You clenched your thighs about him and Sy encouraged you to ride him harder and faster until you couldn’t withstand the plunging shudder that rocked you. Safe in the strength of his embrace, you surrendered to him, clutched at him and shuddered through the white-hot scalding gush of lust and molten fire through your veins. 

Syverson held you against him until you finally stilled and draped yourself over him to cover his face with kisses. 

After cleaning up and dressing, you settled yourself behind him again, wrapped your arms about his waist and rested your cheek against his shoulder. You gasped when the engine roared to life as the sudden vibrations shook you intimately and the sensations made you smile. 

‘You ready?’ he asked, breaking you out of your muse. 

You squeezed him. 

‘Ready.’

A hotel room, a hot shower and another round were in order along with some downtime to rest. There was a secondary reason why you had to pee so much. Your husband was going to be a father.

-the end, you naughty little things. I love you ;D

Tag list:  @lightsidecalling​  @omgkatinka​ @igotkatiepowers​ @the-soot-sprite​  @harrysthiccthighss​ @little-green-love​ @foxyjwls007​  @angreav​ @maizyistrash @liquorlaughslove @supernaturallymarvellous​ @whiskey-cokenstuff @laketaj24​ @october505​ @inlovewithhisblueeyes​ @foodieforthoughts​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @singeramg​ @sapphirescrolls​  @emyearns​ @brandycranby​ @zealoushound​ @eldarwen333​ @beck07990​ @lunedelorient​ @henrythickcavill​ @kalesrebellion​​ @angrythingstarlight​​ @lavitabella87

[hhjs]

forget me not.

♡ based on — "During times of war. I want to say: I only love you, And I cling you, Like the peel clings to a pomegranate, Like the tear clings to the eye, Like the knife clings to the wound." and the song nightlife by daydream masi.

♡ summary  —   Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

wherein, putting your heart on the line for the sake of doing favours isn’t a frequent component in your schedule. But what happens when this favour is asked for by the boy you may or may not have fancied for far too long?

 You accept it. 

 For a very embarrassing reason, really, which is — you think Hwang Hyunjin needs you.

♡ pairing— hwang hyunjin x reader

♡ word count— 8.8k whoopsies

♡ genre and alternate universe — angst, fluff + hanahaki au.

♡ author's note— this was supposed to be a drabble and then i sort of lost my fucking mind ehe...also this is easily the worst thing i have ever written im so sorry aaa but this is a lil present from my end hahaha

♡ warnings— suggestive content, vomiting, mention of blood. allusions to depression and heartbreak.

Amongst other things, you're extremely bad at saying 'no'. You don't mean the word per se...but the underlying connotation of this very monosyllable which may come at the expense of letting another person down.

It's sort of stupid, you understand, your friends have constantly voiced their worries for your extremely complacent nature more often than you'd think actually. But it all goes over your head. See — old habits really do die hard.

When you're eight, this very defect takes you to dreadful saxophone lessons your mum spoke so highly of. When you're 15, it gets you called to the principal's office for flashing Jeongin trigonometric functions in Mister Choi's pop quiz, when you're older, things are definitely no different.

The passenger seat is occupied, Hyunjin's holding a tangled muffler to his suede jacket clad chest. At 21, he's become someone you used to know. A friend of a friend, Felix's to be very specific. But the man in question, who was supposed to be his ride, passes off this duty for kegstands and you just happen to be the designated driver for the night, shuffling Jisung beside Changbin and Chan, who claims to be 'sober' even though he's half asleep.

Hyunjin is uncharacteristically quiet.

There's a polite smile on rendered your way as your eyes meet. A small curvature along his plump bottom lip, tighter around the edges. Still this simple formality is so beautiful that you feel something inside you come alive.

When Jisung starts snoring, you flip on the radio and Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here comes on.

Your fingers feel numb when they come to tap out a rhythm to the track. It's nice. Tingling guitar riffs swelling, David Gilmour's gruffy voice pours in from faulty speakers. The more the song progresses, the more you find yourself attempting to think about anything that will distract you from the boy beside you, in the flesh no less.

So late at night, the main road is eerily silent. Cobblestones reflecting the sound of tires thumping against its layout, streetlights blinking at you from their drooping heads. Across the street, a baker is tucking away leftover bread and buskers are packing up their beat up guitars, a man in his late 50's pulling his blanket to his nose as he rests a head full of gray hair on the cold pavement.

You glance at Hyunjin from the corner of your eye and find that his staggering smile has completely disappeared. Now there's a distant glaze in his eyes. It's like he's here, in this moment, with you, but at the same time, he's somewhere else.

Under the impression you've done something wrong, you immediately begin to panic. But the thing is, you don't actually know if you should ask. Would it constitute as crossing a line if you had anyway?

Hyunjin covers his mouth with a sleeve, muffled retching building beyond fabric.

The reasonable assumption is obvious. It's not abnormal to be nauseous when you've got one too many drinks in you. He motions for you to pull over, incoherent sentences practically melding together, words forming and dissipating between choking fits.

You scramble to dig out a bottle of mineral water you habitually deposit in the glove compartment, offering him the tissue first. Ears perking up in satisfaction when a garbled thanks escapes his parted lips. But then... something weird happens.

As your eyes flicker to unintentionally glance at the contents discarded on the pitch grey sidewalk, you freeze in your seat.

You were never a big believer of superstition, not someone who buys into myths only meant for the fiction genre. Sure, you can be gullible sometimes...but what's happening falls no way under the realistic category.

The lethal Hanahaki disease, only inherited by some unlucky descendants, every moment in your head prior to this one, was something that's obviously non existent.

Yet... there's so much blood, too much blood attesting to your blatant ignorance. The petals are of a white rose, smudging together in swirls of grotesque crimson in mimicry of a sheen of red sticking to the inner corners of his lips. It has happened before, you can tell, from just how unsurprised he looks.

Hyunjin's stare flits to commit every detail of your to memory, in what only seems a quick study of gauging your forthcoming reaction, though even before you can produce a coherent thought, he says,

"You can't tell anyone." His voice drops a few octaves as though he's afraid your snoring friends in the back might've noticed. "Please."

Hyunjin's face softens by the slightest, contrary to his firm demand, there lies a desperation you couldn't overlook.

In retrospect, what you're about to tell is ultimately a promise that'd come back to bite you in due time. However, see now, you're extremely bad at saying no. Somehow you're even worse when it comes to Hyunjin. So you blink, turn the radio off and say,

"Okay."

—

The pool is preheated. For that you're most thankful.

Frankly, you couldn't imagine what it'd be like being pushed into a chilly body of water mid winter. Not that it's pleasant otherwise, you can't swim.

Well at 15, you hadn't quite learned to. The other kids have scurried inside to hog freshly baked Snowman biscuits Seungmin's mum is renowned for.

Then and you think you'll never quite forget it, Hyunjin's wearing an orange power ranger t shirt, it's darker now that it's wet, his glasses are marked with uneven splatters. His face scrunches up at the sudden splash of wetness engulfing his body. He wasn't planning to get in the water.

"Hold on tight." He says, wounding your arms around his neck, your calves tighter to his sides to support your shivering body. Back then Hyunjin's hair was black, cropped short and swept to the side, he smells like fabric softener and skittles. A water donut is discarded in the middle of the pool.

Everybody you know and don't know, from the birth of superheroes stuck in comic books to valiant protagonists behind fuzzy television screens, has this inherent desire to be saved. From the world, from themselves. No, no, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, swooping them off of their feet from the grasp of surly men in dark alleys, sometimes it's really just simple. Sometimes people save you in the most ordinary way there is.

The weight of your form on his bright pink water donut while he stood on his toes to merely rest his elbows so the item wouldn't flip, a small act, certified this very claim, had not the nimble touch of his cold fingers, brushing away wet hair from your face, to anxiously ask if you're okay met the purpose. He talks to you like the sound of his voice has the power to injure you.

You nod slowly. Like this, it feels like you're going to be.

Hyunjin pouts, looking perfectly unconvinced. He paddles the pair of you to steel stairs spiraling into the pool, so he can stand without just his nose peeking out of the water, he looks at you once again, a wrinkle between his dark, arched eyebrows and says solemnly, "Jisung's such an idiot sometimes, isn’t he?"

But isn't he your friend? You want to ask. Something stops you though —his tone tells you you aren't the only one to fall victim to Jisung's practical jokes. Not that they were offensive or anything. Han Jisung, the same person who twiddles his thumbs when he wants the last chicken nugget and cries every time you watch Howl's Moving Castle together, genuinely doesn't mean any harm. It's just that...when he's comfortable with people, who aren't many, he tends to do a lot of dumb things. Dumb, endearing things that Minho will kill him for someday.

"A little bit," You mumble under your breath. Heat rising to your face at the possibility of Hyunjin being concerned for you. He sounds almost angry. "Thanks by the way."

It's rather pitiful to remember. Because with time, Hyunjin's world becomes so big that your interaction stands to be too insignificant to not forget. Before you know it, he's the shooting guard of your school's basketball team, just a handsome face who dates better girls, makes better friends. It's superficial and a little sad.

No, no, a little sad is an understatement actually.

To see someone you understood intimately, a boy who always described details too much just to stray from the main story, a boy with too many emotions bubbling to an awfully animated surface; someone who was passionate, sensitive and so nauseatingly big hearted...change into a man who is indubitably untouchable...is tragic. At least.

Yet funnily enough — you can't quite imagine a world without Hwang Hyunjin. His ringing laughter rippling through loud ambiences, his distant humming of Christmas carols whilst he absently skimmed through spines of children's novels and his eyes glimmering in adoration whenever he spoke of something he loved — Without him, you imagine, there would be a massive deficiency in your world, in the world. Like if birthday cakes came with the biggest slice carved out.

Hyunjin grins, a big sort of candid grin that turns his eyes into upturned crescents. His previous temperament long forgotten. Suddenly, this utterly atrocious happening seems to not be so bad. Suddenly you don't mind that Jisung is an idiot sometimes.

"Of course."

—

Hyunjin is not perfect. Hyunjin is no prince charming.

People don't know this. They don't understand this.

He ends up paying for dinner when he's out with a big crowd even though they were supposed to split the bill, he ends up crying when he gets angry and he is an abysmal liar, in every sense of the phrase. Hardly ever succeeding to hide his emotions when he should. When he was a kid his parents reminded him that it's a good thing to be unapologetically himself, that being honest is a good thing.

But as your eyes meet from across an ocean of people quagmired by crunchy leaves, sticky remnants of rain and his ex girlfriend who he now claims to be okay with being friends with, on her toes to poke his cheek whilst Chan's arm wraps around her waist, the soft white roses ornamented on a bow she loves wearing all the time, he thinks it's far from an agreeable trait to have.

Actually whilst you balance a newspaper under your arm and bring your coffee to your lips, it's like you're looking through him, past his skin, his flesh, something secret inscribed on his bones, embedded into his soul. You know everything, you know everything, you know everything.

The thought itself... surprisingly enough, doesn't appal him.

Hyunjin raises his palm in the air, feeling the autumn prickling against his skin. He waves at you.

—

Working at a library can be taxing. But it sure has its perks.

You can just about turn the place upside down and put it all back together without getting in trouble. Albeit another reason, besides your profession could be that Minho owns the place. Frankly, he may or may not have been the only cause behind your employment. It's hard to tell now that your co-workers really do recognise you've a knack for arranging things.

But to you, your job is very personal. A precious thing which relieves you from various worldly tensions. Velvety spines under your roughened fingertips, the burst of minted pages hitting your face every time you walk in, your love for reading, for a world of stories is so immense that you think you wouldn't have traded it even if your life depended on it.

For a disease that's not very well known, it's ironic how an entire section of mythology is dedicated to it. Past closing hours, amongst many novels mounted on your desk, you fixate on the one that made most sense. There's a few things you've picked up in common from all of them though — the hanahaki disease is extremely rare, it doesn't affect all those who suffer from the qualms of unrequited love.

Possible remedy according to findings entail

growths can be surgically removed, if the patient consents to eradication of memories of their loved ones.

Clanking of keys alerts incoming and you pause your tapping pen to look up.

"Burning the midnight oil, are we?"

Minho leans against the doorframe, he's half yawning, half talking and fully concerned for you.

"Yeah, looks like I'm gonna be a while." Your monotonous tone provides that you are not paying a lot of attention. You blurt without looking up. "Are you leaving?"

"No, still haven't finished archiving for that Pfizer project...But I'm going to get a bite to eat..." His inky eyes remain on you as his tone falters, "You want anything?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"Wow you're like...really uh invested." He tilts his head in thought, "You seeing someone again?"

You know Minho long enough to know he has a teasing side to him, from diaper days to play dates ending in pillow fights because he kept offering you his last Pringle just to pop it into his stupid smirking mouth — but you have no idea where he's going with this.

So you look up, finally. Furrowing your brows.

"No. What does that have to do with anything?"

He shrugs, "I haven't seen you concentrate so hard since you dumped Jeongin."

Your right eye twitches. Because you know exactly what he's referring to, and simultaneously, for the sake of your well-being, you much prefer being in denial. "What?"

"C'mon. Remember how you always ended up doing his homework?" He reminds you. "It's like when you like someone, you go out of your way to do charitable stuff for them. But...this? Too much. Even for you."

You ignore Minho's comment. To the world, Hwang Hyunjin's place in your life is not significant. After all this is the most natural undulation in the vicissitudes of life — for someone who once was your friend to eventually drift apart, to become a has been. It's too hard to explain why you care. After all this time.

"I was just being nice." You narrow your eyes, unimpressed. "Clearly this concept is lost on some people."

"Sure you are, bud. If being 'nice' is synonymous with whipped." Of course, there's a smug grin gracing his pouted lips that tempts you to fling something at him. Not that you can though. Seeing as Minho breaks out into a full fledged sprint, his singsongy voice a thinning echo bouncing off of shelves and windows and doors.

Still somehow his footsteps manage to travel through walls, permeating into your office with such great amplitude that you could be bamboozled into thinking he hasn't left at all. Or maybe you've stopped paying attention, your eyes zoom in on any other helpful detail you can put to use in wrapping your head around what you have witnessed firsthand.

At the same time, you can't really ignore how hungry you're feeling just from the mention of a bite to eat. So when Minho's shadow forms again on the page you've been 'reading' for the last few seconds you sense a gigantic wave of relief washing over you.

"You know what I changed my—" slamming the book shut, you blink against scanty provision of light, with raise your head and a bleary vision, recognise him in an instant. Except...it isn't Minho. "mind..."

The only source of brightness is a small emerald lamp perched on the corner of your desk, light green catches onto one of the ornamented corners and speckles of golden caress his supple skin gently. You hadn't realised how cold it might've been outside until you see how heavily dressed Hyunjin was, a long overcoat worn over woollen sweater, a Santa hat and muffler pulled to his chin. It's no one other than your boss himself who has given him directions to your office, you know this, Hyunjin has never been inside before.

So when he marvels absently, you sense yourself feeling a little self conscious about not cleaning up. All around you, a comforter and love seat pushed against the window, cigarette butts discarded in ashtray and then...the books strewn before you tell him you practically live here.

For some reason, Hyunjin only seems to loosen up at the spectacle.

"Hi." He says finally.

"Hi..." you arrange the reading materials quickly to one side so you can rest your elbows. A small (successful) attempt made to hide your research. "Something up?" You say, but what you really mean is, what are you doing here?!

Did he suspect you were going to tell on him? Right that's it, that must be it, you tell yourself, believing, knowing, of all the years Hwang Hyunjin has known of you he has never been one to care about your whereabouts.

"I just...um," He starts, forwarding his mitten clad hands. It's the back of a crumpled coffee cup on which straight handwriting reads a bucket list...of sorts. You immediately understand that his coming is an act of impulse. Urgency of living every moment like it's slipping through it's fingers, that he just needed to tell the only person who knows, be it by accident.

Hyunjin clears his throat. "I wanna do all this before I die."

In lieu of giving an instant response, baffled, you gawp at him. Despite knowing, hearing Hyunjin say it out loud somehow makes everything...too real.

It's as though someone's reached inside your throat, pulled your heart out and crushed it with their bare hands. Hyunjin, the boy who smelled like fabric softener and skittles and wore power ranger shirts, the boy with the fantastic smile and cold fingers, is dying. You won't let him. You can't let him.

You thumb along the numbers scribbled in hasty penmanship, look up and blink rapidly, "Okay," you say, a small whisper, barely there words. "That's okay."

Even with the hat covering tips of ears, you could tell the same faint blush coating his cheeks had rushed to that particular area. His eyes drift off to the sight of pens discarded inside a wooden holder because he can feel your gaze on him. "and I...I need your help."

"Alright."

Hyunjin's eyes widen to a great degree, he sits straighter, as if he hadn't expected you to comply so quickly.

And honestly? Neither had you.

It's quiet. Awkward.

"You know it's not like I haven't thought about dying. I just figured I'd get to grow old first, settle down, have kids and all that," A wry laugh escapes his parted lips. "Everything's happening too fast."

You hesitate, thinking he's making a mistake. Frankly he shouldn't feel obligated to give you an explanation.

"You...you don't have to tell me."

"No—I mean...can I?" He gives you a sheepish look, disliking his own whimsical tone, somehow endearing still. You find yourself wondering how long he had to keep his burdens to himself, not just pertaining to his illness, but everything. His dreams, his hopes, his fears. Anything which requires a certain amount of depth. And you almost ask him, the question sitting at the tip of your tongue, yet the realisation rather simple, stops you. Maybe you've mistranslated 21 year old Hyunjin all along — moulding himself into someone who's convenient around people who only liked him for who he appeared to be, maybe even with all that popularity, parties and glamour, he's just...lonely.

You push your reading glasses into your hair, press your knuckles under your chin and hum in consent.

He shifts in his seat, "Have you ever... been in love?"

You release an amused huff. Let your eyes linger on him for a long minute.

"Once."

Hyunjin half expects you to laugh. Poke fun at him for his melodramatic backstory. That's the sole reason why he doesn't tell his friends (funny, for people he considers close, they seem to know not much about him or care to know, that is. ). But you... you look at him with something in your eyes that tells him the rubbish reasons he posited makes all the sense in the world. Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

—

 Midnight rendezvous.

As someone who has lived a fairly extraordinary life, Hwang Hyunjin's bucket list is bafflingly ordinary. He's more of a finding joy in small things kind of a person, punctilious at best.

Things change. People notice. They hesitate, whisper about you and last night while you were out on last minute cheap wine run, the grocerer, a girl who looks around sixteen asks you if you're dating Hyunjin. Underneath the thinly veiled curiousity, there's something like anger dripping from her words.

You furrow your eyebrows in simple insinuation that it's weird for a stranger to take interest in your life. Maybe it was written on your face, the fact that you're a dying man's beck and call is for reasons far more complicated than it looks.

You go to his parties. Greet him as a friend would and not just for the sake of maintaining formalities. He comes to the library more times than he does, waits for you to get off work so you can check something off the list at least. People notice. People understand. Hyunjin's different around you. He's bright, talkative when he forgets to contain himself. You sense your heart swelling with pride just at the understanding that he can be himself around you.

You drive to the beach, sit in your trunk and drink straight out of the bottle.

Hyunjin laughs a little. Suspends his feet in the air. With time, he's gotten paler, exhausted. "Rough day?"

You hum.

"Very. Our children's collection is usually low in stock around the weekends."

Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest. Curious.

"And?"

"And if I say I got yelled at by a toddler would you believe me?"

Hyunjin feigns contemplation, even with the realisation that his body is becoming less and less cooperative, he manages to remain perfectly cheerful.

"I can actually," he grins, "At that age, I was a real pain in the ass."

"Were?"

Your smile is just a slight curl against the bottle's mouth as he grumbles under his breath about your 'insensitive' remark.

You think of your life after Hyunjin, think of his absence like a gaping hole you'll never be able to fill out. It makes you sick to your stomach.

—

Bake something from scratch.

Hyunjin's face twists in apparent thought, eyebrows rising. A pink tongue poked against his cheek, whilst he chews carefully, trying really hard not to flash an accidental reaction whilst you clasp your butter and oat flour soiled hands together, some of the batter on your cheek, neck to anticipate his answer like your will to live depends on it.

You ask yourself how it got to this. Why you didn't care that you were awake so early on a Sunday morning with flour powdering every kitchen appliance in sight in spite of being awfully restrictive about who you let into your kitchen. But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter because it's nice like this.

Hyunjin has his hair pulled away from his bare face, a mole under his eye, a small birthmark on the back of his ear.

When you first met, you thought he was a kind of handsome that couldn't be real. Something formidable about it. Only destined to exist behind fuzzy television screens and flashy magazines.

But in retrospect, you realise, that that's not true at all. 

If you look close enough, if you really pay attention, there's a softness underneath, something goofy, something warm, the sharp jut of his nose circling into a soft button, his eyes are big, black and his mouth jutted out into a natural pout, he looks innocent, like he doesn't quite realise the extent of his charms.

"It's..." His soft voice pulls you out of your reverie, and you look up to find his eyes glimmering jovially. Every time it surprises you, the lack of regret in them and the abundance of nonchalance. You wonder what it means to love someone like that, to love someone to the point of martyrdom. It shouldn't be like this. "perfect,"

"This is like, the only batch we didn't burn, right?"

You snort, "Yeah." Fully turn to him, "You know what they say, fifth time's the charm."

Hyunjin's laugh, you think, is so contagious that it makes it an imperative to smile in return. In shaky compartments the sound comes, like being 8, laying wide-eyed in a paddling pool and staring up at a crayon blue sky, raindrop rippling beyond all that noiseless water. His eyes curve to upturned crescents, an unconscious hand covering up the seams of his lips whilst he shakes his head. You don't even notice when he starts speaking again.

"Huh?"

"I said you got a little...something..."

You almost lose a fraction of your sanity when his nimble fingers come to wrap around your wrist while you hold onto the spatula employed into the whole snickerdoodle batter mixing business, a liberated hand coming up to gently wipe your cheek. It means everything to you. And nothing to him.

Later, when you're alone at night, really alone, you put your palm to your chest and feel the unsteady beat of your heart. A warning, a reminder. I can't. I can't. I can't.

—

You hold Hyunjin's hair up. His hands resting on the cold toilet seat, he's whimpering and bleeding. It happens every time he sees Haseul, or something which reminds him of her. Like the song.

This time she's drunk. And it's because she impulsively rises to her toes and presses a tender kiss to Chan's lips.

Hyunjin's just a feet away, across students and solo cups and streaks of neon falling irregularly through his line of sight.

He can never confess, not to her. The last thing Hyunjin wants is for her to feel bad for him. To say she feels the same as an act of service. He tells you. You understand. Somehow... you always understand.

They met in college, Hyunjin and she. And Chan was an upperclassman who seemed to be good at...well everything. At first, he couldn't figure out why it never occured to him before, the fact they were getting together maybe before, after or during the length of their relationship.

Though the answer is simple.

Hyunjin thinks the pillar to good relationships is trust. Call him a sappy romantic or whatever but he had seen true love manifest from it through generations before him and his parents and their parents. To think a different fate was woven for him...used to be unimaginable.

How ironic is that?

Hyunjin presses his cheek against your chest because he doesn't want you to look at him when he cries.

Then for the first time....he tells you he's scared. He's scared of what will happen to him. Of what is happening to him.

He's falling apart.

You cradle him, press him closer to your body like you're trying to put him together. People can't fix each other. Not really. But sometimes... they're worth the try.

"Hey...hey...it's alright," You shush him, run your fingers through his hair. Your voice almost breaking, faltering. Still this, this you mean it with every fibre of your being. "It's okay to be scared."

—

Self bleach hair.

It's Christmas and you're late for a late night dinner he's putting together. (As reluctant as he was about getting along with Hyunjin, he seems all too eager to make invite him whenever a get together takes effect.)

His apartment smells like floor cleaner. There's a queen sized bed pushed against an electric blue wall, a Fleetwood Mac poster taped to his door, small reading desk where Canon EOS New Kiss rests, polaroids of things checked off the list littered all its wooden surface.

You pick up the only photo he hasn't labelled, it reminds you that your friendship isn't just based off a pursuit. This is natural. Pizza box discarded between you two, on your roof top. It's a little too dark, you're holding a cigarette between your fingers, you're laughing and Hyunjin looks like he's going to complain the minute he's done taking the picture. (And he does.)

You smile, pressing your fingers against it like the touch could transport you to a simpler time.

"Ready to go?"

Hyunjin rakes a tentative hand through his newly dyed hair, grey (a suitable colour he says.). You can tell he's put a lot of effort into cleaning up, his usual hoodies and sweats alternated with a red satin shirt tucked into dark dress pants and a coat of the same colour.  Hyunjin is beautiful. Perhaps even more like this. In fact, the extent of this quality is so Goliath-like that it obliges dolled up attendees to marvel up in awe.  While you fully agree with their unsaid ponderings, you really do, you find yourself missing a less sophisticated version of him. 

"Yeah, but first..." you fish out a wrapped squarish material from the depths of your pocket. Hyunjin's eyes widen, two bunny-like teeth showing for the extent of his grin.

"You got me a present!" He all but rips it out of your hand, shaking the material eagerly. He’s a Christmas person, a supreme holiday enthusiast if you will. The sheer excitement in him projects itself in every physical aspect possible. Slight jumping on the balls of his feet. "It's a cassette...?"

You speak too much, nervous he doesn't like it. "It’s a Christmas mix. I thought...since you like carols. I know it's a little old school, I'm sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for—"

Hyunjin pulls you into a big hug, wrapping his entire body it feels like; his arms around your waist, he squeezes you tighter against him, "Thank you." He whispers into your hair, it's not just about the cassette, you can tell. 

There's a small light bulb dangling from his ceiling, he hasn't fixed it since the first time you pointed it out. You can tell with your eyes closed, you've begun to know more intimately than your own home. It's safe here. A place that deludes you into thinking that he's not running out of time, that even in his absence in the world, whenever you should walk into this room, it would be an imperative to find Hyunjin lazying about in its confines. Familiarity can be quite tricky, can't it?

His gratitude is not unknown to you. It's in the guilty smile that threatens to show every now and then, it's in this and it's in that. In many ways, it is not something you're a stranger to.

And yet the words manage to tears your heart at the seams. Just a little.

—

 Make a snow angel.

From above, he imagines, he may appear to look like a chunk of cookie dough in an ice cream pint.

The snow is not as comfortable as it appears, its frigid temperature seeps into Hyunjin's clothes (and what feels like his internal organs, if that's even possible). He waves his hands and legs inward, outward.

Your head tilts towards him. Face twisted in annoyance. "You're getting on my wing!" You say. "Have you no respect for personal space?!"

Hyunjin narrows his eyes jovially. And people tell him he's the one with a penchant for theatrics. He leans closer in rebuttal, waving his leg around your design with more purpose.  You give up. Sit on your knees, fumble with the snow. He’s still in the same position. Smug as ever...

"This is what happens when you disrespect your elders." He fake-warns. "Oka—"

What he doesn't anticipate, however, is the snowball you launch on his stupid grinning face. Now it's your turn to laugh. You clutch your stomach and point at him whilst he glares at you having barely managed to blow the snow off of his mouth.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now!"

You let out an animalistic screech, Hyunjin’s already trapped you under his weight, his thighs wound around your waist, hamstringing your plan to escape, now you're merely squirming. His fingers come down to attack your sides, digging into the flesh so mercilessly to the point you’re not sure if you’re laughing or crying. It's like there's a wildfire inside your lungs.

For a moment you forget, you let yourself forget what's to come.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry!” you press your palms against his chest in an attempt to push him off, Hyunjin has a dumb smile on his face that seems to give the impression of a hanger  stuck inside his mouth. But... there's something behind his entertainment as the sound of his laugh dies down, chest heaving with exercise. His smile drops.

You can count each lash, each freckle and line on his face. The dark in his eyes. The pink of his lips. Your sweater's ridden to your ribs. And the warmth of his fingers shifting against your bare skin hits you with an earthshattering force.

Hyunjin kisses you. For a fleeting second, you freeze. Rigid with shock. Then it passes as soon as it comes.

 You let out a noise of content,indubitably grateful that your neighbours forgot to put on their porch light for the night.  See it’s like this, the act of kissing is not as special as is the person himself, you muse, you can kiss anyone, you can touch and be touched by anyone. But none of that truly compares to this. Not when they aren't him.

You’d be lying if you said you never thought about it. Just like you’ve thought about a lot of things. But just the realisation that the boy you’ve harboured in your heart for more complicated reasons than you disclose, to yourself even, touches you with so, so much care...it’s tearing you apart. 

It’s too good to be real.

You suddenly push him away. The tugging and pulling at your heart too much to handle. For the fact remains — Hyunjin doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. You never expected him to. Actually, you've never felt what you feel with that condition in mind either.

See when the feeling of having everything you could ever want is cradled between your palms...it ought to be hard to let go. (Maybe he’s just doing this because he feels bad for you, the little voice in your head says. You listen.)

Hyunjin speaks up first.

“I love Haseul.”  he tells you, but it sounds more like he’s telling himself. “That’s why...that’s why, all this...I love her.” Not you.

You swallow, “I know.” Your hands come up to dust your pants. Hyunjin’s still on his knees, as if the answer to his conflicts are deposited under all the snow. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have done—”

Now you hear it, the hint of pity in his voice. You don’t mean to sound as bitter as you do. Seeing as you’re usually very good at keeping calm , breaking that very reputed front frustrates you even more.

“Look just forget about it, okay? We don’t have to talk about this.”

Hyunjin looks like he didn’t expect this side of you to exist. At least, you think, at least it got him to stop talking.

—

Learn to skate.

"If I fall, I'm taking you with me."

"You say it like I have a choice."

Hyunjin shoots you a warning glare even though you can't see. His choppy skidding steps supported by the vice grip he has on your arms. You haven't skated since you were in highschool. But when you're pretty good at it still, the smooth blade of your beaten skates gliding through ice with much dexterity, it's like floating, freeing, the wind hitting your faces, snow catching in your lashes. It's peaceful, you try not to think about the warmth of Hyunjin's arm circling around body, the vague rhythm of his heartbeat against your back. His laboured breaths on your neck. It's torturous. But spending so much time with him has taught you to hide your feelings better.

The park welcomes a large crowd around holiday season, children with toothless grins, tugging onto their mum's coats, small chin resting onto a parents' head, teenagers moving in together in school uniforms. It's the happiest time of the year. When you move past an elderly couple, they smile and tell you make a wonderful couple.

You're just about to make a correction. This puts you in an awkward position... doesn't it?

But then Hyunjin grins toothily and says, Thank you, like it's the most amusing thing in the world. You ignore the wrenching inside your chest.

Hyunjin leans forward, his plump lips brushing against your ear. "Where did you learn to skate so well?!" There's something like excitement in his kiddish laugh aside from admiration. It's not much of a question as it is an exclamation.

"I am pretty good, aren't I?"

He laughs, doesn't let you go. "Yes, yes...really good."

Out of breath, you slow down, move your feet steadily, careful not to lose balance.

"Oh my God! It is you!"

You raise your head, blink against flakes hindering your vision. Jeongin's voice used to be thinner before. As far as you remember. Now it has a weight to it.

You let out a nervous laugh.

"And it's you..."

Jeongin's eyes travel to the arms around your waist, to the stiffened figure behind you and you immediately liberate yourself. Moving to let Hyunjin use your arm as purchase, you don't fail to notice the pinch in his forehead, a frown on his mouth.

"This is my friend Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Jeongin—"

"We used to go out." Jeongin smiles, forwarding his hand, which is returned with an unenthused shake and a demure reply. Hyunjin never speaks to anyone this way, not even people he claims to hate.

The former male looks to you again, "I was, uh... wondering if you'd like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime."

Things between you and him ended amicably at the event of his departure for further studies, which deprives you of awkward tension which is expected when exes meet.

Besides, a cup of coffee never hurt anyone.

Right?

Without thinking, you nod slowly, "Yeah that sounds good,"

"Text me anytime."

"Sure."

 “I'll be out of your hair then," he beams. "It was very nice meeting you too, Hyunjin."

"Right."

Hyunjin, you realise, has released your arm. He leans on barricades fencing along the skating area, smiling briefly. You know it’s wrong...yet you sense that you almost need him to be upset.

Then he tilts his head back towards you, "He seems like a really nice guy," he whispers, genuinely meaning every word. Your heart sinks. "I see the appeal." Underneath the lurid glare of fairy lights brandished overhead, Hyunjin's ash hair glints like it's threaded out of silver. You wonder what he's thinking.

—

 Watch every Disney movie ever made.

You never end up texting Jeongin back. Just stalling for when you're ready, you tell yourself. Even though that's not true at all.

"This brings back so many memories. My parents used to belt out A Whole New World with me, like every time we watched Aladdin."

Hyunjin wipes his face with the back of his hand, technically you’re not very sure what he’s saying exactly because he’s mumbling into a paper napkin you've  passed over for the umpteenth time. You find yourself picturing a small but happy family of three, of Hyunjin in Scooby Doo pajamas and gap between his teeth. (Contrary to your previous convictions, he hasn't changed all at much, save for the teeth bit. ) It's cute.

He looks to you expectantly. Can't be the only one telling embarrassing stories.

You shrug, "I had a thing for Simba. Let's just say my mum and dad were nice enough to indulge me."

Hyunjin reaches for the remote and pauses the ending credits of Lady and the Tramp. He turns to you fully now, gives you a judgemental stare. "Simba...?" He says, "Like the...lion?"

"What? It's normal to crush on fictional characters, okay?!"

"Okay,sure," Hyunjin snorts, putting a pillow between you and him so you can't kill him. "furry."

A part of you is tempted, obviously. But the much bigger part is more invested in how he looks happier, healthier. You want to think that means something.

—

Hyunjin invites you over for movie night. It's getting colder and you keep poking him with your cold feet. There's an extra set of blankets in his cupboard, he informs you, he isn't sharing his with you — and that's when you see it.

The deflated pink donut folded to the side, his and yours sharpie inscribed initials on one side. 

"Found it yet?"

You don't even notice when he comes to stand behind you. So the question effectively makes you jump out of your skin. Hyunjin has a bowl of popcorn pressed to his chest, there's a pink hair band holding his hair away from his forehead. For the lack of a answer he takes it on himself to find the source of your silence. As if you've been caught red handed.

You think this is where he'll ask you to leave, that or he'll least scold you or something. You prepare for the worst.

Hyunjin just smiles, it's a big smile that succeeds in bringing out the small dimple indented on the side of his cheek. You've never noticed before. It's kinda weird. Because when it comes to him, your attention hardly ever falters.

"You probably don't remember. That’s from Seungmin's 15th birthday,"

You want to scoff under your breath. All this time you had told yourself that you were the only one to be affected by your estranged friendship growing up. Now...the same logic colours you every bit of ridiculous. 

You blink away, swallowing. Voice solemn.

"I remember." Hyunjin's gaze is heavy on your shoulders. An emotion you can't quite put a finger on crosses his delicate features. It's something between surprise and relief... something else too. You don’t understand it. 

—

It's disconcerting that he can’t remember the last time he got sick. Not the usual discomfort inside his chest, not the blood, not the thorns or petals. Hyunjin's just gotten so used to it, you know? What if he gets his hopes up for no good reason? What if it just comes back?

There's no possible explanation, he explains over a hasty 3 A.M message he had to leave on your answering machine because he's freaking out.

Then Haseul texts Hyunjin, tells him she misses him. Everything's adding up. Everything's falling into place. This is what he wanted, isn't it? She loves him, she finally loves him back. That must be it. He doesn't know what to say. 

But he tells you, and when he does, it sounds a lot like an apology.

— 

Kiss underneath a mistletoe. 

“Chan and I broke up.” She says it like it’s something he should be happy about. So when he remains quiet, it only prompts her to speak more, fill up the big mighty silences. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Look Jinnie, I know I made a mistake, but...can’t you give a second chance? Just this once?”

Hyunjin has thought about this particular moment a lot. Kissing her instead of producing a response, pulling her off of her feet and mumbling of course, of course, of course. Back then, there were little doubts in his head pertaining to her, back then he believed that she was the only one for him. The love of his life at the wrong time, in the wrong place.

Now...something doesn’t feel right. 

The thing about wounds, sometimes, of the heart in particular, is when they close up, it’s hard to make head or tails of the kind of person you become in their wake. Hard to adjust. Like when he suddenly shot up 7 inches in ninth grade, a late bloomer at that, and the weight of his new sneakers felt..odd.

He glances at her and also understands what it’s like to be lonely, the constant need to compensate for it by grasping at the last straw. He used to be in her shoes too. This isn’t any different.  Albeit, he isn’t exactly taken by her presence. Just that he doesn’t know if what he’s doing is right. He looks over your table a few feet away from where he’s standing. Having gone out to take a call. You notice his absence and then from your seat, do your best to locate him. (he thinks of kissing you on a bed of snow, thinks of the sizzle of your skates against ice, thinks of his list on a coffee cup and his pink water donut and it’s okay to be scared. Why did it have to be you of all people, through everything? It’s not really a work of coincidence. Not at all actually.

  Maybe he just wanted it to be you.)

When your eyes do lock...seeing him with his hands in his pockets, her standing beyond the barrier as she tries to say something, you smile, even if it’s a little sad. Hyunjin thinks to the conversation some nights before. Thinks of you reminding him that there's nothing to lose at this point, that he should do what his heart tells him. That it’ll be alright, if he just takes a leap of faith. Hyunjin smiles back. Through the glassy exterior and mini water fountains running down its slanted form. The realisation is not as dramatic as he thought. It’s just late.

 He tears off the false mistletoe decoration glued along the periphery of an arch.

And like always.

He takes your advice.

— 

Cohorts of guests pour into the colossal hotel, heads turning in quiet admiration for bejeweled arches breaking out against buttery white architecture, the roof is impossibly naked, translucent glass baring a starlit sky to your watchful eyes. Showing little mercy to a frail chute held over your head,costumed characters wade through oceans of gossamer, twinkling silver and swaying movements to slow jazz. You prop a heeled foot up on the bar platform, which strangely resembles a pedestal, in a futile attempt to catch your breath, with clammy digits settled atop the risky surface of a marbled counter. A soft voice speaks over the ambience, uttering your name with much care. You lift your head. And there he is.

Jisung is scouring through the Spotify playlist you’ve put together for New Year’s Eve. He’s complaining about the lack of Beyoncé while your friends go around the buffet table. When he calls you, you’re sipping your drink, laughing at something Changbin is saying, his eyes brighten just at the sound of your laugh.  Hyunjin isn’t surprised to see his friend taking a liking of you even though he hardly knows you. That’s just the effect you have on people.

Excusing yourself, you allow him to walk you to a less densely populated area where a stone pillar faces expensive paintings of nameless painters. With the effect of alcohol settling in and your inhibitions effectively lowered, your steps sway a little. You lean against the massive build rising from tiled floor. “So what’s up?” you murmur, the lump in your throat thickening just at the thought of him speaking the good news into existence. “I take it went well?”

 Hyunjin doesn't answer. He looks distracted for a bit. Then in an instant he snaps out of his daze. “What did you mean when you said ‘once’?”

Your brows come together in inquiry.

“What?”

"When I asked you if you have ever been in love, you said ‘once’." He persists, his fingers come up to your shoulder, grazing slightly as if they’re trying to carve out words against the skin. "You weren’t talking about Jeongin.”

He knows. He’s always known. Hyunjin can’t believe he’s been so stupid.

“Took you long enough.” You let out a sardonic laugh.“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

"It matters to me..." Hyunjin sounds offended, you gather, but he manages to quell his temper for the sake of coaxing your confession. Is he purposely embarrassing you?  "I don’t think...I love Haseul anymore...I didn’t realise...I haven’t for a long time."  

A big chandelier beams over withering plants pushed against the ceiling, in this poor supply of light, you can tell exactly how he looks, eyes glimmering adoringly, you've spent something-teen years of your life wondering what it's supposed to mean. And it still manages to confuse you.

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask, albeit you already know.  Because funnily enough, before he got his braces removed and dyed his hair a scandalous blonde, before bucket lists and heartbreak, he was just the boy who told you he liked your stupid reindeer sweater even though it had officially made you the 7th grade laughing stock. You remember being fifteen and in love with Hyunjin. And you've never actually stopped. You need to hear it to believe it.

It drives you crazy. The way Hyunjin brushes his fingers against your cheek, shifting strands away from your eyes. But you can't help it, you've always wanted this. You lean into the caress, peering up at him as his large hand cups your jaw, thumb traversing from your tilted chin to your glossy lips like he's trying to smooth out all the creases. His voice is small, a whisper.

"Because I need you to know I think I’m falling in love with you.” he says. His palm opens and there’s a plastic mistletoe nestled between his fingers. You’re smiling and sniffling whilst his forehead comes to press against yours. Hyunjin grins. “And there’s still one last item on my list.”

“Are you seriously asking me to land one on you now?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

— 

"Move."

You press your fingers against the slick, sweaty skin.

In rebuttal, Hyunjin grumbles under his breath. Only half awake, half aware that he was mumbling in his sleep. His naked chest seems to be, if it’s even possible, glued to your bare front as he sprawls out like a starfish over your body, using his gangly arms to accommodate the strange position.

Though and you know he knows it too — it’s anything but uncomfortable.

See by now, you aren't exactly a stranger to Hyunjin's sleeping habits. Or really, any habits of his.

All the windows are cracked open, moonlight percolating through a thin sheet of curtains in rendering evidence that it’s still night time. You can make out the faint sound of  honking in the distance, a few stray dogs here and there, probably producing strings of complaints about the blatantly unbearable heat.

The strong stench of sweat and an aftermath of what happened before is a quick reminder of where you are, what you’re doing and that your arm’s going cold for a lack of circulation under his weight. Beads of sweat collected against his skin and trickle down the side of your face, the crook of your neck, which only prompts you to apply more force to the pads of your index and pointer — albeit it did nothing to move him, "Gross." You groan. "You're sweating like a pig!"

This comment, of all the things you've tried to get him to sleep on his side, succeeds in making Hyunjin raise his head, his grey hair matted down, a few rogue strands pushed out to fall over the unamused look in his eyes.

In an unprecedented minute of absolute clarity, something inside your stomach started to churn at the shocking sight. You’re impossibly, absolutely and nauseatingly in love with Hwang Hyunjin and the funny thing is, you don’t have to think twice to know he is too.

"Gross?" Hyunjin lowers his face to brush his pouted lips along your jaw, grinning when you let out a shaky but involuntary breath and as if he is looking to make a point with his digits traversing from your bare stomach, just along the hem of your underwear,   "After all that?"

"I hate you." You say — but more like, stutter. The sound of his giggles eliciting a strange sensation in you, reverberating against your chest, knocking against his ribs and your skin, like it’s trying to reach out to you, like your bodies insist on melding into one.

"I don’t think you’re being honest, baby." He laughs, squeezing your side, coming up to plant a warm palm to your butt to repeat the action, which in turn, drew a mewl from you. “Because you looove me.” Hyunjin smirks, his finger thumbing along your throat to your chin. You think this is what all those great poets meant in endless litanies of lovers torn apart by time and war woven together in a simple caress, like a longing, like a secret. Guarded from prying eyes, greedy hands, and you keep it, you keep it. For him. With him.

[purecantarella]

Reunited

belated happy Dahyun day! 💓🍞 so this is a tad overdue but here it is HAHAHAH the fic is hella long, over 2k words but i honestly have no clue how it happened?? guess i got carried away. anyway enjoy! disclaimer : this is a three genred fic, so fluff, angst, and smut. viewers discretion is advised, if you're below 18, please find something fluffier or angstier things to read.

Dahyun was incredibly upset with you, and she didn’t want to be, especially not now. It was the eve before her birthday when you told her that you had to miss your date with her to rehearse for your group’s latest comeback. While she didn’t want to be petty, especially since she understood the lifestyle you lead, she was still sad that you weren’t going to be around on her special day for the first time since you got together years ago.

“Are you sure you can’t just escape?” The pale girl asked rhetorically as she lay in the bed, staring at your image on her phone screen. Biting your lip as you stared at her sympathetically gave her all the answers she needed. Your girlfriend sighed sadly, leaning back into the bed. “I know it sucks, sunshine.” A prominent pout appearing on her lips, making you chuckle softly.

You looked around before whispering into you device, “I just want to be with you right now…” Seeing your fellow idol’s pout begin to crack, you continued to flatter her. “Doing everything I want to do to you…” You paused, gauging her reaction. Dahyun had given you her full attention, a sly smirk gracing her lips.

“What would that be, L/n?” She questioned, propping her phone up on her pillow, her hand holding up her chin. Dark chocolate orbs trained intently on you making you grin playfully. “Why cuddle, of course! What else, Kim?” You retorted making her groan out before laughing softly. A satisfied smile finds its way onto your lips.

“There’s my Dahyunie.” You said, making her cheeks tint to a cute pink hue. “I just wanted to see you smile, sunshine. I hate seeing you so upset, especially if I’m the cause.” Dahyun, feeling guilty, stroked your grainy face through her phone. She placed a gentle kiss over the screen, making you chuckle softly, trying to expel the sinking feeling in your chest. As she was close to the screen, she whispered like a prayer, “It’s not your fault.”

Before you could get another word in, your bandmates called out to you, making you cringe and sigh heavily. As she could sense your disappointment, she hushed you and offered you the smile that you fell in love with. “Go! I want to see you do well during your comeback!” Flashing a sad smile, you nodded before getting up and walking over to your bag to put your phone back in your bag. “I love you, Dubu. I’ll talk to you soon, my sunshine.”

The moment the line died, Dahyun fell onto her side feeling bad about herself. She ran a hand through her hair trying to hold back her irrational tears. It’d been months since she last saw you, and it was becoming harder and harder to not miss your soft voice, the way you held her when you cradled her at night, the sweet way you smelled. Just you. The pale Korean simply closed her eyes and dreaded another moment without you in it.

On the other side of Seoul, you stared down at your phone, your beloved ray of sunshine as your lockscreen. You bit the inner layer of your cheek softly before nonchalantly tossing your phone into the piles of bags, swinging your arms back and forth frustrated. When your leader saw you, they couldn’t help but laugh at your expression. You glared at them as you began stretching again.

“Shove off. It’s hard enough that I haven’t seen her in months, makes it worse that I can’t be with her on her birthday.” You breathed out before pushing your hair out of your face. The other idols around you chuckled in their own accord before one said, “She’s turning 23, Y/n. I’m sure she can handle one without you.” You sighed sadly and nodded slowly before proceeding to practice your dance moved to yourself as your other members looked at you, a guilty feeling resonating with them.

After the practice, your members piled over you. You’d been distraught the whole time and it was about time that they did something for you and Dahyun. As you slung your bag over your shoulder, prepared to go home, all of them stopped you. You raised a brow at them, your tired features making them feel worse than they already did.

“Y/n, we’re sorry that you can’t see Dahyun right now—” You cut them off with a tired sigh, the frustration in your chest building more with the explicit reminder. “Yeah, I get it. I’ll get over it.” The group’s leader cut you off hastily by saying, “No, no, we’re legitimately sorry for belittling your problems, and we want to help.”

A small smile began to etch its way onto your lips as you heard what they said. “Help how exactly?” The other members looked at each other, small grins on each of their faces. “You’ll see, N/n-unnie!” Your maknae said dragging you along making you laugh.

The next day, Dahyun rose from her bed tired and managing a slight headache from both the tears and tossing around in bed the night before. Releasing a heavy sigh as she looked down at her phone. With the multiple greetings from her family, her friends, and the Onces, a genuine smile befell her with the sense of sadness that not a single text or post from you came up.

Sana was the first one in the room, a big, happy smile on her face as she ran up to her member and friend excitedly, tackling Dahyun to the bed. Both of them laughed as she wrapped her arms around the Japanese woman.

“Happy Birthday, Dahyun!” She cried out loudly, catching the attention of the other girls as they all began to pile into the room. They all burst out singing, off-tune and loud, causing the celebrant to laugh and clap for them, dancing along to the out of harmony singing. For a moment, the rapper felt truly happy.

“Okay, so after practice today, Dubu…” Jihyo paused briefly, to build up the suspense of the night. “We’re going to dinner, Nayeon-unnie and Momo-unnie are going to buy drinks and we’ll come home and have some fun of our own. How does that sound?” The vocalist offered with her signature gummy smile. Dahyun nodded, looking at the girls around her, feeling grateful for the people here yet she still held hopes that you would find a way to get to you.

Somehow.

But as the day drew on, with no call, no message, no random gift from you, she didn’t feel too hopeful and her morale was obviously low. From getting choreography wrong to not being in the mood to goof off with her other members. Her birthday was turning up to be one of the worst to date.

Dahyun wasn’t hopeful for the dinner but she it’s not like she could skip it. She got ready despite the disappointment that continued to eat at her mood. The rapper got up to see her members who waited patiently outside for her. As she excited her dorm room, the girls cheered and showered her with compliments making the pale skin of her cheeks turning to a bright red, the familiar big smile gracing her face.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late, pretty girl.” Chaeyoung said taking her hand and dragging her out of the dorm, filling the group up with laughter and talking about other things they’d seen or done throughout the day.

At the restaurant, the girls were all giddy while Dahyun couldn’t bring herself to feel the entire party, still sulkily sipping at the spiked iced tea they had ordered. Nayeon, who’d been next to younger girl, nudged her gently. “Cheer up, it’s your special day, Dahyunie.” The bunny-toothed woman gave her a smile, making Dahyun smile gently.

“I’m sorry everyone, I just…I wanted to at least talk to Y/n and she hasn’t—” Before the younger woman could finish her thought, the almost empty establishment sprung to life with a group of seemingly familiar faces in zip-up hoodies, caps, and shades. There were about seven of the unknown people and Dahyun was becoming increasingly nervous.

A single figure stood in the middle, turned around, more hidden from the rest.

“I hope you’re ready for a show, darlings…” The figure turned tossing the hat and the mask to the side. When the speakers burst to life with the voice that Dahyun knew like the back of her hand, she became speechless. Once she got a good look at the performer’s face, the bright smile returned to her face and you returned it.

“To my love, my girl, my sunshine. Happy Birthday.” You smiled and tossed jacket that you were clad in in the direction of your girlfriend, who caught it and held it close to her chest, swooning. Your group began to perform their regular numbers, filled with energy and TWICE began hyping them up. Once the group had burned through two of their songs, ones that you had specifically written for Dahyun.

Then, your band members tossed you a handy guitar. Before you began strumming it, you paced close to the rapper, a fond smile on your face. “When we met, I was a trainee with nothing to my name but a guitar and a passion. You took the time to get to know me and who knew that I would fall madly in love with one of…” You paused to smile at Chaeyoung and your group’s rapper before continuing. “The best rappers in South Korea. That I’d be willing to do the dumbest things and say the cheesiest things because I need you in my life. I love you, Dahyunie.” You were right in front of their table, a smile on your face as Dahyun held back soft tears.

From across the table that was flushed against the back of the restaurant, you took her delicate hand, placing a kiss over the back of her hand. You continued to strum the guitar, for a solo, acoustic cover of ‘What is Love’, making the girls both cringe at you singing their own song but still finding the gesture sweet. After the song ended, Dahyun couldn’t sit patiently anymore. Jumping out of her seat, though with great difficulty, to get to you.

Finally, after months, you dropped the guitar and took her in your arms happily, carrying her and taking in the scent you’d missed so dearly. You placed a kiss softly on her cheek, so happy to be by her side again. “My girl, my precious girl.” You whispered against her ear, pulling her impossibly closer. Dahyun on the other hand, choked back the satisfied sob.

You pushed her away, looking into her eyes and stroking her cheek lovingly. “Happy Birthday, my ray of sunshine.”

Once you were both reunited, the entire dinner Dahyun couldn’t be helped but be latched onto you. While the girls talked to your members, you two were stuck in your own world. Talking about the things you’d missed out on, spoilers for your latest comeback, and of course, just how much you both missed each other.

She hid herself in your neck and left little kisses here and there while your hand busied itself on her thigh, dangerously close to her center. When she knew no one was listening in to both of you, she bit your ear gently. You smirked down at her as an embarrassed flush fell over her face. While Dahyun was the good Catholic girl, she knew what she wanted, and that was long awaited alone time with her girlfriend.

“It’s clear one of us wants it more than the other.” You teased in her ear as you lay another kiss gently on her cheek. Sure, she wasn’t the only one who wanted some, but you weren’t going to let her down that easy. The rapper pouted up at you as you giggled softly as you took her lower lip between yours. It took all your restraint not to pull her onto your lap and take her there and then.

"Wanna get out of here?" You whispered suddenly, you breath tickling her neck. Usually, you’d try to stick it out and Dahyun was the same, not wanting to cause a scene but after months of being apart…you both very much needed some alone time. Without hesitation and with just a wave to all the people present, both of you got up from the overcrowded booth, whispering things to each other while both your groups looked on in horror.

“Love is gross.” Tzuyu said poking her food around.

"And we just lost our ride home." Your group's leader commented.

The moment you left, neither of you could keep your hands off of each other. Getting out of the parking lot alone was an uphill battle all on its own. Your body was tense, her gaze was locked on your perfectly colored lips, and the air around you was so deathly thick.

You couldn’t get to your dorm fast enough.

Upon entering, knowing you were both completely alone, she pushed herself onto you. Pinning you against the wall beside the dorm door. The rapper’s hand trailing to the back of your neck as your lips met in a fiery passion. A desperate moan ripped violently from Dahyun’s chest from your tongue meeting hers. You smirked at the sound as you pulled away leaving kisses to her ear, hands already working on the back of her shirt to unhook her bra.

“Fuck I missed you, princess.” You groaned, moving to kiss her again. Her hand trailed up to thread her fingers into your hair, tugging slightly wordlessly asking for more urgency on your part. Taking the hint, you leaned down to give more attention to the nubs that had now become rather firm because of the cold air. “And these, holy shit they still look good.” You note before your tongue greets them through the fabric.

Dahyun groans at the sudden contact, running her other hand through her hair. “Y-Y/n…” She stammered out as you looked up, mouth still religiously suckling on the nipple. “Please.” Her voice shaky as she begged for her pleasure. Standing up once again, your lips collide with her pink ones as she desperately ground her hips towards yours, looking for any kind of friction.

You pulled away before taking her shoulders in your hands as you pressed her against the wall.

Admiring her features in the moonlight, a fond smile found its way to your lips. Seeing her face so needy for you; her eyebrows contorting, her lower lip under her teeth to suppress the embarrassingly obscene noises. “So gorgeous, Dahyunie…” You whispered, you hand dancing its way lower and lower until you reach the top of her bottoms, slithering your way into her underwear. Feeling the patch of arousal that has now ruined the underwear, you smirk again.

Your other hand on her breast once again, twisting the nipple making her groan out. “My girl missed me so much that she’s ruined herself…” You experimentally played with the erected bundle of nerves. “Oh God…Y/n…More, please. More.” She begged as her lips looked for yours. The smirk on your face growing tenfold as your finger moved further down to her center, pushing your finger into her, making her cry out.

“Ooh, princess, you’re just so fucking tight aren’t you? So tight for me.” You teased, pumping your finger into her before adding a second one, stretching her out in the most delicious way possible. Moans and gasps fell past her lips, begging you for more as your finger worked tirelessly against her. “Did your pussy miss me, Dahyunie?”

With no response, you slowed your movements making her groan loudly, grinding up against your fingers. A stern expression falling over your face as you twisted her nipple again, pushing your lips against hers forcefully, repressing her cries. You pressed her sweaty forehead against yours, forcing her to look at you. “I asked you a question, baby.” You simply said as you began pumping your slick fingers between her core again.

“Yes! Fuck yes! I missed you. My pussy ached for you…You looked so fucking hot during your last few stages, it was so hard not to call you to have you take me in every way possible, N/n.” She panted out, desperate for her release. Pulling your fingers out of her, you carried her to your room. Her whines driving you further.

Once in your room, you placed her on your bed gently before kissing her lips again. Teeth now ramming into each other from the raw need Dahyun’s hand cradling your face, nails scratching your jaw slowly making your body tremble with want. Reluctantly, you pulled away from her lips as you kissed your way down, marking her chest, so it wasn’t visible to the public, down to her center.

Seeing the wet cavern, you couldn’t help but lick your lips hungrily seeing the sexy beast that was your girlfriend. You hooked your arms under her thighs as you stared into her dilated and dark eyes. Teasingly, you blew a huff of air into the exposed pussy, chuckling softly as she shook under your touch.

“Y/n…Please.” She pleaded through lidded eyes.

“What my princess wants, she gets.” You whispered before diving into the sopping wet core. A loud cry echoed through the empty room as her head shot back, back arching in pleasure of your tongue digging into her pussy in ways that she could only long for late at night when she missed you. You ravenously licked and sucked at her clit as your fingers found their way back into her doubling the intense feeling of the knot beginning to tighten in her stomach. Her hand pulling at your hair once again, begging you to work harder to bring her to her climax.

“Holy God, Y/n. More, fuck you feel so good!” She cried out as her legs began to shake around your head, closing from the pressure that was building. “I’m gonna cum, baby. Just a little more. Please! Oh shit, yes!” Dahyun moaned out, her essence coating your chin like a painting as her body convulsed.

You offered small kitten licks to help her ride out her orgasm while also getting a taste of your favorite flavor. Once she tapped your head, signaling you that she was too sensitive at this point, you made your way back up. Small kissed littered across her now pink skin. You lay beside her panting form, as you pecked her lips gently.

“What abou—” You cut her off with another kiss, making her smile dazed at you. “Don’t say it. You need rest and can wait.” The rapper smiled up at you before wrapping her arms around your still clothed midsection pulling you closer. “I can get you a shirt you know, sunshine.” You offered seeing as she was still naked.

Dahyun shook her head before pushing her head into your neck, savoring the smell she missed so much the past few months. “That can wait as well. I still want to cuddle.” You chuckled softly before pulling her onto your chest as she looked at you again sleepily.

“You are not staying away from me for that long again, N/n.” The pale woman said before yawning and cuddling into your chest. You nodded along and kissed the top of her head. “I promise.”

Before she could fall asleep completely, she whispered, “I love you.”

Your smile grew wider as you pulled her closer to you, nuzzling into her hair. “I love you too, Dahyun.”

yeah, i'm going to hell for a lotta things and that last part is on the long list i would say HAAHAHAHAH this has to be my longest fic yet 🤔anyway, remember that requests are open on any group and i will get to them as soon as i can and comments or criticism is always welcomed! 😊 alsoooo happy pride month everyone! love is love always! keep safe always and i will see you all very very soon! 💕 taglist: @labrachrosite

[thefanficmonster]

Take That!

Corpse Husband & Reader (Female) ft. Streamer Gang

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Suppressed Sadness, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: What is a friend? Your smile through the tears. The umbrella over your head when it starts raining. The ointment to your wound. But if you wanna put it in a more literal manner, a friend is something that doesn’t have a concrete definition. It can be the person you sit next to in class or the person who’s hundreds of miles away from you and you’re connected to through a Discord call.

Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your request, sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read if you happen to come across the fic. Love, Vy ❤

There are those days when I wake up excited for a new day. There are also those days when the thought of playing Among Us with my friends is all that gets me out of bed. And then there are those days when not even that can get me to budge. Today is one of those days.

I’d still be in bed right now had I not needed to use the bathroom. On my way back to hide under my covers, I heard my cat’s meow from the kitchen, reminding me she needed to be fed. After tending to that task I just sort of lost will to return to bed either. Speaking truthfully, today is a will-less day. The type of day where I have no idea what to do with myself because I feel so odd and uncomfortable: heavy and bustling head, motivation below zero no matter whether I have zero tasks to tend to or a mountain high pile of work. It’s a laying on the floor and letting my mind eat away at me type of day and I can’t say I appreciate it.

The only thing I have to look forward to is the game of Among Us Corpse invited me to yesterday. Had I known I’d wake up feeling like absolute shit, I wouldn’t have accepted. I just know I’ll be a downer the whole time because I suck at covering up how I feel - my smiling masks and faux happiness don’t cut it but staying quiet is even worse because I’m typically and energetic and bubbly person, always having something to say or a comment to add to the conversation. Always looking to make people laugh.

Well, it’s hard to make people laugh when you feel like a deflated balloon.

I can’t describe the feeling any better than that - I feel empty, maybe a little sad somewhere in the mix, unmotivated. I keep these feelings to myself cause whenever I bring them up people just blow me off, saying I’m describing laziness but more dramatically. Either that or burnout which is sometimes the case, but I’m more than sure that it’s not the culprit for today. You can only blame burnout so many times.

Anyway, I make a mental note, promising myself I’m not gonna bail on my friends regardless of whether my mood gets better or worse. Who knows, maybe a gaming session with them is exactly what I need.

                                                              *  *  *

Not much has changed with my emotional state - I’ve spent a good chunk of the day surfing through TV channels and my socials with nothing else to occupy my mind but the overwhelming knowledge that I’m not feeling ok and that hyperawareness of a void that I feel but cannot describe. At one point, Corpse sent me a text to confirm I’d be participating in the gaming session and I was this close to saying no. This close to coming up with some bullshit excuse and bailing but I didn’t, thankfully. 

Here’s the thing about this drop in mood of mine - I know it’s gonna be gone by morning. It bullies me, beats and batters me for only twenty four hours - never more, never less. Like clockwork and as precise as a Swiss watch. And so fucking annoying. No matter what I do, I can’t end it prematurely and I can never wake up feeling down and unmotivated the next morning - there’s always a surge of motivation coursing through me and it drives me to be super productive as if making up for what I didn’t do the previous day when I was in the dumps.

It’s a twisted way of it showing me I’m powerless and at the mercy of a force that, despite being mine and existing within me, I’m completely unfamiliar with. It’s so fucking unfair, it’s disheartening.

“Hi everyone! Sorry I’m late.“ I greet the five people who have already gathered in the Discord call and the Among Us lobby.

Yeah, sorry I’m late, I was contemplating not showing up at all last minute

“Don’t worry about it, many people are running late as you can see.“ Rae replies reassuringly, “How’s your day? Anything spectacular happen?“

I can’t help but scoff, “Yeah sure, a TON of spectacularism in my life on the daily. From the large stack of papers I couldn’t bring myself to touch, to the dusty surfaces all over my apartment I didn’t convince myself to clean - it’s all fabulous over here.”

Fuck, that was too real

“Whoa, where’d all this sarcasm come from?“ Rae asks, sounding genuinely baffled rather than teasing, “It’s never been your strong suit.“

“Neither has unproductivity.“ Corpse, my best friend, chimes in, “Everything ok?“

Well, I admit, I should’ve known better than to have an outburst like that in front of people who have known me for a while now and can probably gauge my emotions even without me admitting to them. I truly don’t know where it came from. Hell, I didn’t even see it coming.

“Nah, it’s ok. I’m just being lazy, I guess.” I’m quick to withdraw and brush off any suspicion. The last thing I want is to worry my friends or, even worse, receive the same response from them: that I’m being dramatic, that I’m attention-seeking, that I’m just lazy and unmotivated as are most people of my generation.

“You know, what people often self-diagnose as ‘laziness’ often turns out to be something more serious. I don’t mean to scare you, but it could be depression.“ Corpse says after a brief moment of silence in the call, his voice soft and cautious as if explaining a complex problem to a kid who’s bound to be hurt by what it’s told.

I can’t help but chuckle. He has no idea how much he’s relieved me by saying that. I always ‘don’t want to talk about it’ and ‘want to change the subject’ while what I truly need happens to be the complete opposite. I need someone to hear me out, I need someone who will not brush me and my concerns off like we don’t matter. I need someone who’ll understand. And if these people who have openly struggled with anxiety or depression don’t get me, who will?

“Yeah, I genuinely thought I thought of myself as a lowlife while I was in college cause I started losing motivation for everything and started fearing what was to come. I began avoiding going out and talking to people cause I felt like I was the sore thumb in the friend group I had - the only one without any specific goal or a dream.“ Leslie says out of the blue, “Turns out I suffered through a burnout so bad it turned into an anxiety/depression combo that I just blamed on being a lazy college student.“

“Same here!“ Toast pipes in, “I was bedridden for a while during the first days of my streaming career, for a very ridiculous reason - I believed I didn’t deserve the attention I was getting and I wasn’t doing as well as people gave me credit for. So that had me crippled with self-doubt for a long while.“

“I still don’t believe I’m doing as well as I get credit for, but oh well.“ Leslie laughs, “I already told you all about my dumpster-fire of a brain, so I’m instead gonna say: what you need is an appointment with a therapist. Also - you need to stop underestimating your struggles. Invalidating yourself and what you’re going through is gonna make things only worse for you. You need to love yourself.“

“And you need us!“ Rae exclaims, “You need the best support you can get and, lucky for you, we’re the best in the business. Count on us always being there for you, Y/N. Cause we always will be.“

“You’re never alone. We’re all just a call or a text away. Especially me.“ Corpse adds, “I’m basically at your service 24/7, just like you’ve always been for me. What are best friends for if not sharing mental struggles and lifting each other up afterwards?“

I don’t know when this smile made its home on my face but it seems to be rather happy with where it is and wants to stay. Something tells me that thanks to these guys, it will indeed stay there for quite some time. And every time it tries to slip away, they’ll be there to bring it back.

“Then let’s lift each other up, shall we? I mean, what better way to do it other than killing each other and getting away with it?“ I attempt a giggle, hiding my emotions behind it like my life depends on it. Chances are they heard all I’m feeling in my voice, but I can only hope they’re not gonna mention it.

“Y/N, hun, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but....you never get away with it.“ Corpse wheezes, causing me to narrow my eyes and frown.

“Oh, you’re so gonna get it now!“ I exclaim, cracking my knuckles before getting my hands on my keyboard, “Start the game! I have a point to prove!“

And just like that, in what felt like the blink of an eye, the clouds have shuffled aside to make path for the sunshine to grace my brain with positivity I was not expecting to feel until tomorrow morning. I can’t give myself the credit for that though - it all goes to these amazing people I have the honor of calling friends.

I may have no power over it on my own, but with the gang’s help, I can take full control of it. And as a middle finger to the melancholy, I’ll do it all with a bright smile on my face.

Take that, brain!

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