#and im a 'this fic needs to be published all in one shot' kind of gal

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

Flings this at you, the first fic is finally published after 5.5 months

(AO3 link here)

[bratbby333]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [ blog update ! ] ࿐ྂ

+ some housekeeping and info on new writing

hello my loves !! i wanted to give y'all some insight on what's been going on in my mind palace lately. there's a lot...so...cmon, take a walk w me...and maybe bring some snacks.

ੈ♡˳ first and foremost ! my work has received a lot more attention recently and i am so excited. with actual tears in my eyes, im happy to report that i surpassed 1,000 followers the other day. i am at a loss for words...just...stuck in a perma-state of disbelief.

im sending out the biggest thank you to everyone who has supported me, who's interacted with my work, to the lovely friends ive made though this account and to the heartbreakingly beautiful anime that brought me here in the first place. i am genuinely in awe...overwhelmed, even...i didn't expect any of this to happen when i started this blog and i am forever indebted to all of you for getting me here. im actively fighting off the inevitable surge of imposter syndrome as i type this out...i just love y'all so fucking much. this community means the world to me and i wanna scream at the top of my lungs in order to demonstrate my deepest appreciation for each and every one of y'all.

ੈ♡˳ secondly ! a message for my little angel babies, my day one followers; thank you for taking a chance on me. for watching me grow. for sticking around as i worked to get better at writing. im sure a lot of you started following me for my gamer!bf sukuna series...trust me, i love him and i know y'all do too. but i feel like my writing is heading in a different direction...and with a heavy heart, i'm absolutely gutted when i say that i am taking a pause on that series. i am forever grateful for the support and may return to him soon, though i cannot promise that. i owe so much of what my account is now to that series and i will never forget that.

for everyone who joined me as i delved into dark/dead dove content, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me a safe space to explore different forms of story-telling. my choso fic was the first stepping stone and then i skipped every other stone on the path and jumped head first into the deep end with my dead dove gojo fic...i deeply appreciate all the positive feedback i received on both of those. after posting them, i realized that i am very into writing dark content. i know that taboo themes/dark content/dead dove subject matter isn't for everyone and i understand people's apprehension in regards to it. but with that being said, i will be moving forward with publishing darker content.

ੈ♡˳ so here's the writing update !

i did a poll asking y'all what kind of content you enjoy. a good chunk of people said long form fics (which is great, cause i do too !! mommy needs plot). so, i am migrating away from one shot writing. both because i've been thinking about it for awhile and because y'all are into longer stories, as well. but fear not, i will still write shorter stuff along with headcannons, drabbles, etc...it just won't be the main focus of my blog anymore.

ੈ♡˳ now, time for the big reveal ! perhaps it's a bit anticlimactic, but bear with me...

im so excited to announce that i have two new series coming ! it will be a dark, modern!au featuring choso (with a few other special guests) and a dead dove sukuna series.

i'm almost finished with the outlines, and have fully completed the theme layout + mood boards for both works. i hope to get the first few chapters wrapped up in the next couple weeks. if you want to be tagged in either of these (or both), just leave a comment or send me a message !

(also !! i may or may not be cooking up a dark medieval au series in collaboration with another writer on here...so be on the lookout for that hehe)

while i take breaks from writing my two series, i'll be working through my requests ! so if you've sent one in, i promise i will get to it, unless i literally cannot think of a good way to write it (im only human, im so sorry). also, im sure we already knew this, but im a slowww writer. i wish i could churn content out quick as fuck but i am too hypercritical of myself…it's both a blessing and a curse, honestly.

if you made it all the way to the end of this nightmare of a brain dump, i love you. if you've been with me for a while, i love you. if you're just now joining me, i love you. everyone who’s supported me in any way, shape, or form, i love you.

i present you with the sloppiest kiss with tongue (only if you want it, of course. i can also give you the tightest hug, the gentlest head pat, or my social security number...access to all my bank accounts? a mansion in the hills? my passport? hand in marriage? my first born child? literally whatever you want, babe).

okay !! i think that's all for the updates. feeling: very ambitious and motivated but also overwhelmed and mildly stressed but overall super excited for what's to come. im looking forward to this new adventure and i hope y'all come along with me ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

thank you again…for literally everything. yall hold a special place in my heart and always will. so, here we go !

see you on the other side, my loves.

— jade 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

[compacflt]

pre-publishing notes for extras part one (coming tomorrow i pray 🙏🏽 if not tmr than next saturday 🥺) for those interested

i am incredibly busy this wk so the final final edit of my fics isn’t gonna come till later, like next Wednesday or the weds after that or something.

but do not worry i am not changing anything major, unlike in previous edits. It’s just fixing little stuff (hyphenation, some grammar, places where AO3 fucked my italics, changing “chief naval officer” to chief of naval operations [i literally have no clue how that error happened as i got it right in some places and wrong in a bunch of other places like wtaf], removing brand names that show idk what the fuck im talking about, etc.). The most substantial edit is I’m adding one sentence to the slider one-shot where ice tries to convince slider that he and maverick are only tying the knot for financial purposes, and “so the govt doesn’t fuck one of us when the other dies for real.” that sentence was in my original draft and idk why it got removed.

i will not be editing the hangman one shot (besides fixing the proposal date), the airplane one shot, or the wingmen one shot because i do not really care for them and they have been overwritten by other sections of my fics. the bradley one shot is also pretty much going untouched

ONTO THE EXTRAS. Unlike some of my other fics which are M-rated & therefore kind of implicit, these extras are a littol bit edgy & explicit. Not beating around the bush anymore. I am warning for possible triggers, mostly related to disordered eating and, like, a BUNCH of casual suicidal ideation/discussion of suicide. Also it’s E-rated.

however that isn’t to say it’s not mostly fluff lol. there’s SOME sex but u know me.. it is sex as symbol not sex as sex... (You know what they say, $20 is $20 and writing practice is writing practice) I wanted to expand the scope of my original fics—more politics, more complications, more backstory, so that’s mostly what it is. Not everything revolves around goose anymore. It’s also about the rest of the world

parts of it will also obviously just be me dicking around, a disclaimer

not every scene that I’ve posted in a wip wednesday made the cut. I got rid of a bunch of them that were boring/repetitive. (so, my apologies to the anon who told me they liked the sickfic excerpt, for instance—the one where mav sprains his wrist is basically the same thing, we don’t really need to rehash the “taking care of each other” motif twice)

prolly download these somewhere else because it really is just 70k of a wall of text with no chapter breaks and we all know how ao3 is

thanks for reading! as always! ❤️❤️almost at the finish line here! part 2 (post TGM mission) hopefully next Saturday :)))

[maaxverstappen]

I’ve been asking ppl cus im nosy. What’s your writing process like if any? Do u have a preferred place or time. Preferred device. Do u write rough drafts then edit or is it much more considered. How do u decide that an idea is worth fleshing out or pursuing if it looks like it’s plotty. Pls yap at length if u so wish — wiz

i love this question!! and would love to know other answers so if you want to reblog them i shall be on the lookout 👀.

i answered partly here so will just like build on that!!

the process is that i’ll have an idea and depending on how large it is write out some sort of outline. my preference for all planning in life is on paper so i have a little journal that ill write out some ideas in. kind of brainstorm / mind map style of just jotting down random ideas that come to mind.

however, with longer fics like my current post-as-i-go wip i have to do it digital bc so much changes and it’s too long (see pics in previous ask). that one i actually started planning in my notes app on a plane bc the idea had to come out of me someway and i was really excited about it. i then transferred it to a google doc and added onto my chapter per chapter outline (1st pic in previous ask). i felt like that was a bit overwhelming for understanding the overall plot so then i went and made a simple overview of the key plot points per chapter (the 2nd pic in previous ask) just so i felt like i had a better understanding of the goal per chapter.

now when i sit down to write a chapter ill get both the detailed notes and the main plot points and just write whatever i feel like in order to get to the goal of the chapter.

for shorter one shot fics i’ll either have no full outline or a one page idea list kind of thing. for instance, for worth the trouble i knew that it would start and end in the present time and then everything in between would be a flashback, but i didn’t know the flashbacks would be non chronological until i was writing it. same for the chewing gum aspect that ends up being quite an important part of the symbolism and that almost weaves the parts together, that wasn’t a *thing* until i was almost finished with the rough draft and i then went to add it in to previous scenes.

for my long fic i have to be a bit more calculated with the hidden messages/foreshadowing as i can’t go back and edit published chapters lmao so that is a little more thought out + i keep track of loose ends to tie together at some point.

editing is a bit of a harder one. for my long fic my overal editing is per chapter, but i do tend to go back and edit per section too. like right now I’m writing a texting scene and first i wrote the plain texting dialogue, then i went back to add the bits in between from characters’ pov. then i’ll read over it fully and edit where needed. finally when the whole chapter is done ill read over it and edit again, but at that point it’s mainly grammar and punctuation.

my main writing issues i’ve noticed so far is that i tend to switch tenses without realising so that’s something i look out for when editing. i also am always worried they don’t *do* enough so i like to think “hmm what action can i add in here to make them more human” when editing.

so far only worth the trouble has been beta read, the rest i do myself. if I’m stuck i will talk through a lot of it with my partner who will give me some ideas and just like help lmao (she’s also the one that beta read wtt!). but she’s not in the f1 fandom so it’s a little hard to have her beta read for characterisation and specific plot points so i do that myself. like when she beta read wtt she gave a few points of feedback that weren’t too relevant bc the average f1 fic reader would understand (like the significance of spa21, there is no need to explain it).

I’m a baby fic writer so a lot of my process will be redefined and refined as i go I’m sure.

as for deciding what to write, it’s really whatever captures my attention. the prompt for help me hold onto you is one i really liked and a trope i love reading myself. i was also ready to challenge myself to a longer plot fic and i was really excited about the idea so i just went for it! my main consideration is really just how excited i am for it.

i will say that i am currently really struggling with perfectionism / imposter syndrome. I’m having a hard time getting the words onto paper bc it feels like it’ll never be as good as my favourite authors anyway so what’s the point. (which is now also impacting the way i read fics bc it makes me sad that ill never write anything as good as what I’m reading lol)

i generally write on my laptop! in a google doc with grammarly activated and the word count on screen (which pisses me off bc i have to turn it back on after every refresh). i wrote my latest crafty!oscar on my phone (bc i was too excited to wait till i got to my laptop) but wouldn’t ever do that for anything much longer or plot-ier than that.

i fear this has gotten very long. i know u said yap away but …. i perhaps have yapped too close to the sun.

[astrobei]

Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

[vaderwcn]

My Question: ( to get to know you better 😁)

1. Since when are you writing what got you into writing fanfiction?

2. What are your favorite fics or books to read?

3. Favorite movie, series and food? (because it's important to know)

4. Any writing tips for starters whats something you would have liked to know when you first started?

5.Do you play music while you write, if so, what’s your favorite kind of music ?

Oh this is FUN!!!!!!

Wow. So, I've been writing fanfic for over 10 years now. First fic i ever published was Star Trek (ha!) and then the MCU/Marvel fandom really got a hold on me and I wrote a variety of things and I haven't looked back since (I have taken breaks while somewhat in between fandoms and ideas).

For fanfic, I love a good slow burn. Yes, I need these fuckers mutually pining for 50k words. I love angst and whump. For books, I love horror. I love thrillers. I have a special 10th anniversary edition of "Gone Girl" if that tells you anything. The Exorcist is actually one of my favorite horror books of all time.

Oh this is hard......... my favorite movie is probably The Social Network (2010) because I'm a fincher girl. By series I'm assuming you mean Tv? (I don't read a lot of series...mostly standalone). But my favorite show is "The Americans" for a serious answer. For non serious it's Gossip Girl. favorite food......cliche but I love a good steak.

It will take time to develop a style (im still working on it), you won't be great at first. Writing something is better than nothing. Write something you like and not something that you think will be popular (still working on this one). Also, if you ever finish writing a one-shot/chapter/etc don't edit the same day. let it rest.

I actually do not listen to anything when i write! I find it distracting. If I did, it'd be instrumental. Soft classical.

[sankttealeaf]

Hello there - I was wondering when did you first start liking durgetash? How did you get the inspo for your story? ps Im a huge fan ❤

hi anon!! thank u!! <3

the thing that dragged me headfirst into the depths of durgetash hell was the prayer for forgiveness! i went into the dark urge playthrough knowing very little! (started rue's run in early september but only got around to actually playing her in early october! (act 3 was lagging so bad on my first playthrough i needed to jump ship to simpler times)

seeing other peoples interpretations of their durge & gortash got me thinking a little more about rue & gortash and what they couldve been like! i went into rue's playthrough knowing i was going to romance gale and went woah, theres some similarities between the two there. rue has a type!

(fun fact: my first tav playthrough & the beginnings of my durgetash era overlapped so when i got to meet gortash as my tav, cassiopeia, i was only slightly taken in by him. did not trust him at all, though. stupid man)

i think i love the tragedy of it all. no matter what relationship your durge has with gortash, its still one of closeness. and to have someone you worked hard with ripped from you, only to return now wanting to destroy everything youve made? thats gotta hurt.

as for my fic it kind of started as a series of one shots i started writing, never really with the intent to publish them! i wanted to work out how rue acted before the tadpoling and how different she was then!

the original plan was just a collection of moments shared between rue and gortash throughout their time together. back then rue was still called rue, i hadnt given her another name to further separate her life before & after being tadpoled. i also really wanted to make little letters and notes that you find in the game to go along with the writing. however i only ever made gortash's initial request for a meeting.

(as u can see below. i thought it was a cool concept. no idea how i wouldve fully executed it though)

then it sort of spiralled from there! what if rue and enver were friends as kids? what if they keep finding each other over and over again? what if they always fall to the same fate? i love tragic romances, friendships that are doomed to fail, relationships that can only end one way, so it was very fun to explore all this with them!!

the title was originally a title from a one shot i started writing about them. i think the phrase "let sleeping dogs lie" is very them - after all, why disturb what is a peaceful alliance? why ruin it by admitting feelings or saying words they shouldnt? also dog imagery & rue go hand in hand (despite me saying she's cat coded)

i had key events planned from the start that i wanted to happen, the main thing being how rue lets down her guard over the course of their friendship & how that becomes her downfall!

i also wanted to use this as a way to not only explore rue and gortash, but rue and orin, too!! it meant i could write in their povs, get into their brains and work out why they do what they do! i love villainous characters and finding out the root cause behind their actions (im currently running a curse of strahd dnd game and did the exact thing for strahd - writing up his motivations and intentions to give me better access into his headspace & why he acts like he does!)

at the start i never really intented to publish it on ao3. i added the little prologue after writing the second chapter, and then i decided to bite the bullet and post it! i made this account to share my writing, why not do that!!

im still a little in shock at how many people have enjoyed reading it & especially how many people love rue. ive never written any oc x canon before so it was a little scary putting her out there for the world to see!! sometimes i get that little voice in my head that goes "gr. youre being cringe" and i have to bap it away before it can rot my brain. im allowed to have silly characters and make them kiss other characters - no one can stop me!!

this got a little longer than i intended, but thanks anon!! <3 i hope this has been a lil insightful about the behind the scene of my very chaotic brain behind this fic! its all ive been thinking about for 6ish months now (oh gods)

[idiotsonlyevent]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ i hope 2024 is kind to you and that if any difficulties do arise, they can be resolved quickly and easily!!!!!

some thoughts about my 2023 + 2024 are under the cut for personal reference but feel free to read if youd like

OUGH so many things happened this year. it was. a lot. some bad. but also lots of good!!

things i've done in 2023:

- played p3+p4: some of my favorite games of all time!!! i love you persona!!!!!

- started writing fics: ive published more than 30k words since i started, and have AT LEAST 5k scattered across various wips/ufos. which is!! thats a lot of writing for someone who only did academic stuff for the last couple of years!!!! and it feels especially good since i haven't been able to draw or make music so im glad i was able to find another creative outlet and build new(/different?) writing skills :)

- lost my job :(( but found a better COOLER job!!!

- played ghost trick: GO PLAY GHOST TRICK RIGHT NOW!!! please 🥺 best game of all time i will shill it forever

- one piece: i would kill for monkey d. luffy. that is all. haha just kidding i love you one piece thank you for the joy and whimsy youve brought into my life lets keep it up 💪💪💪 lets stay silly and work to overthrow corrupt systems and stop injustices in our world 🔥🔥

- got a surgery ive been planning on for a long time and it!! went well?? which!! yay!!! ill be officially out of recovery in a few days and its :^) nice

- also i graduated therapy for the first time ever!!! it was nice actually having closure and 'ending' the relationship on a positive note, not just being thrown to the dogs in the middle of treatment

things it would be cool to do in 2024:

- travel, even if its just a day trip. literally i've only traveled to visit my family since covid started in 2020. i need to see the ocean soon or ill die

- try revisiting the p2 duology !!! i miss my kids 😔😔 and the music 😔😔 and persona in general and since im abstaining from p3re id like to do something to 'make up for it'

- start playing bass again!!!!

- maybe start up art again?? idk :// as much as i want to get back into it, i have so much difficulty transferring what i see in my mind to the page that a lot of times it more frustrating than anything but it might be worth a shot

- read dungeon meshi

- read dandandan (+ watch the anime if i like it!!)

- write more fics!!!! hopefully i will finish my vinsmoke-centric series!!! id say finish my law series too but that might never happen since i cant shut up abt this guy lmao. and i still want to write more persona!!! so many ideas AND so much time!!!!! no need to rush!! just gotta keep chipping away!!! and trying new things!!!!!

- WATCH STOCEAN. BC I STILL HAVENT < fake jojos fan 🤡

- play the zero escape series

- play twewy/neotwewy > if theres time !!!

- probably more!!! idk!!!

[mapsareforbraindeads]

the cold hard truth

late-night confessions

a game of lying monsters - the final remarks of the great detective L

just two bisexuals writing in their silly little notebooks

look me in the eyes and call me your love

you know what? fuck you *amnesias your light*

im asking abt ALLL of these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn ok /pos

this is going under a cut because i’m providing a description AND excerpt for each fic which is. a lot

the cold hard truth is the only one i need to keep quiet about. it’s a one shot that’s going to be published after true successor is over. it spoils the entire fic so i can’t talk much about it but i WILL say this: it’s L’s pov :)

L shot the pen into the pile of junk as his vision blurred. Is this what his mother had seen all those years ago? That bright, beautiful light? The bells. Those bells that cried out death and despair. The bells he could almost hear now.

“No…”

late-night confessions is the fic i write whenever i want to write but am too drained/sick to think about actually writing. it’s basically a post-yotsuba arc story where light confesses his love to L. original.

“I dreamt that I killed you.”

“This isn’t helping your innocence, Light.”

“I don’t think that you understand,” Light growled, “I dreamt that I walked into this room as you slept and stabbed you thirty-seven times in the heart as your blood soaked through my skin. You didn’t even scream as the color drained from your face. Do you know how terrifying that is to think about?”

a game of lying monsters is… interesting. it’s written kind of like LABB, but instead of mello talking about beyond, it’s L talking about light.

The monster that I am is cunning. He stalks his prey meticulously before making his moves. He poses as a friend in an attempt to lower their guard. I am the world’s greediest, most despicable monster. Worse than Beyond Birthday, murderer of men and children alike. Worse than my dearest father, who left my mother and I for dead without warning. And most definitely worse than Kira, the world’s “just” killer of inmates and criminals. My mind is a house to evils beyond imagination. And yet, I still declare myself to be righteous.

the next fic is my kira!lawmane au. it has a name but i think the current title is funnier. anyways it’s a pretty basic premise

“Ah, my apologies, Amane-san. Your clothing and personal items were confiscated due to your confinement,” A beat, “Please forgive me, it was necessary for our cover.”

Misa smiled, “Don’t worry about it! And please, just call me Misa!” Misa grabbed onto L’s hand, causing his face to be dusted in a faint pink.

“R…Right,” L stuttered, “Of course, Misa-chan.”

“Ooh!~” Ryuk sing-songed, “She’s ‘Misa-chan’, huh?”

look me in the eyes and call me your love is a bit experimental. it’s basically a second person story where the reader is light going through his execution. the issue? L is the one escorting him there. i haven’t written L’s part yet though whooops

You’ve grown used to the cuffs wrapped around your wrists and ankles; grown used to the yellowed walls surrounding you and those metal bars keeping you from the outside world.

You’ve been here before, of your own will. You thought you’d never end up here again. But alas, you have once again fallen under the watchful eye of the camera placed in front of you.

finally, my amnesiac!light au. this one actually doesn’t have a name lol. anyways, you may be thinking “but vari, light already loses his memory!” haha! you fool!

What were they going to do to him?

The voice spoke again. “Light, this is a terrible act and horribly unlike you. Are you alright?”

He looked up at the camera, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s Light?”

[chena-h]

Man, it's been raining so much lately. On the one hand it's nice but oof, I do not like driving in rainy weather. Way too stressful.

So, I've been in a reflective mood lately. Sure it comes with the time of year. Creatively speaking, I feel like 2022 was pretty good for me. Im feeling more confident about things I create or ideas I get than I have in the past. I'm kinda happy about that.

Definitely focused more on writing than drawing. While I didn't publish much, I did feel great about the things I did managed to complete. Started taking more notes and being ok with wips. I feel like that's helped a lot. Head feels a little less cluttered and I'm relieved to know that I have a place where I can revisit my ideas when the time is right.

Didn't sketch or draw as much as I wanted to. It's hard because I have so many pencils and pens now (my brother even got me a set of pastels I'm excited about using). I'm not one for resolutions but I'd like to make some time to practice drawing more things. More practice in colored pencil for sure and trying to get through all my pens. At some point, I would like to venture into painting with inkwashes. Watercolors seem super intimidating to me. I've only painted with acrylics a few times and I don't really have the space for it. Maybe someday.

But yeah, this year, I want to try and work on my sense of organization when it comes to my creative projects. Art wise, I tend to be scatter brained ;w; I don't know what that will look like yet, but basically I want to balance time for writing and art projects.

Art wise, I still have that thing I was mentioning last year that I want to finish. I'm about a little over a quarter of the way there, I think? Just need to practice sketching some pieces out more before I draw the final versions. After that, I have a similar project I kind of want to do as well as a short series of portraits feat. one of my blorbos. At first, I wanted it to just be one drawing but I like all the ideas too much to choose just one orz. I also am undecided on which medium(s) to use. I'll see.

Writing wise...lol, I have so many wips now! Which is good. I do feel like I'll return to the Akira manga au series at some point. I've got more scenes from that AU (and I figured out how to end it)! There's also some one shots and a shorter series I hope to finish, but I'm very particular about the order in which I publish fics so idk when that'll be. Right now, though, the bnha fics are what I'm drawn to the most so I'll likely be focusing on those. Want to finish the first part of the series I posted, continue with the Villain AU, and maybe (maybe?) get the first chapter of the other series posted??? Gonna shoot for February for that one, but no guarantees there. There's also that highly ambitious AU fic that I want to write and publish this year, but there's still kinks for me to iron out with that one.

I think this is the longest time I've focused on fanart more than anything original, which is new for me. There are some projects related to my OCs that I have kicking around. Maybe I'll get to those later in the year. I've been debating whether to post original fics to AO3. I went on a deep dive the other night looking for fics tagged as QPR because I was curious and found way more original works than I expected. I know AO3 isn't technically for that, but I generally prefer to have one dedicated place to share stuff. I do have a RoyalRoad account though, so maybe I could use that instead.

Trying to stay positive about this year.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

7! 20! 39!

bestie! andie! <3

send me an ask from this little game

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics?

lol, i know, i know this is going to sound strange, considering...what I've published. but i actually prefer short. i love one shots. 10 chapters or less? ideal, great. anything that's over 25 is actually really hard for me to stay engaged in, unless the writer is really really good. it's kind of like when a tv series goes on for a bit longer than i think it needed to? again-- this is NO SHADE to ANY WRITERS EVER WHO WRITE THESE BIG FICS!!! I've read a few that i adore!!! Love!!! will recommend!!! But if i look at a fic before starting and the chapter count is in the 50's I'll...keep...scrolling.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

i love when characters just to get sit and talk. i love writing dialogue, i love writing flirting (and uh...i think i'm pretty adept at it too). like one of my favorite things about james and sirius in no matter the wreckage was how LITTLE they needed to move to keep the scene propelling forward and those boys could just sit and talk.

i love when im writing and i finally just...get to have characters talk to each other and banter and...yeah. that's the best part. also romantic banter. yes. i love romance. so any opportunity i have to make anyone say anything charming i will take it. usually one Sirius Orion Black and occasionally a James Fleamont Elizabeth Potter

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

oh. you know what. I--(below the cut because LONG)

so i actually used to think this was a weakness, because i thought it meant i didn't...understand...how writing worked. BUT, i actually quite like it now.

but i think i have a....unique ability to make the every day special. and that's not something i see a lot in fics. my fics are not plot heavy at all, in fact very little happens in all my fics other than the essential "two people meet and fall in love", and it's just...sewn together with little things that matter (i was just talking to you actually about how remus fell in love on a Wednesday in a cafe; like nothing SPECIAL even happened, it was just a day. but it was....everything) and that's not...something a lot of writers can do (I've realized through...existing on here) and it's not something a lot of writers can do successfully even when they try. there was a line i wrote in ten reasons :

There’s an empty drawer in my mind, in my heart just for you. For your sweaters and your dry sense of humor; for the gap between your teeth, and I’ll make compartments for every single one of your freckles. My toothbrush holder has an empty space, and I can’t help but think yours should be there--mines dark blue, what’s yours? 

about a toothbrush and its so fucking mundane. it's so normal. it's so beyond trivial, but that's like....the heart of it you know? and somehow in a lot of my fics, I've made things like toothbrushes and day planners, and post-cards and recipes and normal, boring, every day things so fucking special. and i think that's....really something i can hang my hat on and be proud of.

[andypantsx3]

hello!!! tysm for the fic advice, it really really helped!! im in the process of tryna fix up my blog layout and such, may i ask what your first fic was? or what was your first published work and how was it? the feedback, how'd u feel & stuff? i have multiple fics/ideas written down already and i just fr need to post them atp 😭

IM SO SORRY IF THIS FEELS LIKE AN INTERVIEW!! i promise i don't wanna intrude, and you definitely don't need to answer at all!!

Not at all, I’m happy to answer!!

The first thing I ever posted was my fic savvy, which is an aged-up fic about a reader in the UA business course trying to wrangle Bakugou into cooperating on a senior project, and falling in love along the way lol. I only had an ao3 for maybe the first 6 months of my fanfic writing career, so I think at least my first 7 fics were published there exclusively, before I eventually backfllled them here when I finally made a tumblr.

I can say that on ao3, everyone was very kind to me. I would get like one to two very nice comments and a handful of kudos per chapter at the beginning. It's so addicting, realizing people like your work, even if I knew it was unpolished. I would save people's comments in my inbox and read them over and over throughout the day (still do lol. If you're nice to me, I will hold onto your words literally forever). I cannot even properly describe how heady the feeling of appreciation from other people is. It really stays with you forever and ever, and makes you want to grow and learn and be better and keep delivering for those people who were kind to you.

I really like the variety of comments people give on ao3--they range from compliments, to theories about the next chapter, to personal anecdotes about aspects of the chapter, to pages-long analysis of your writing, to strings of emojis, to clarification questions, to well-wishes for your health and safety. It always makes it fun to log back onto ao3 and not be able to anticipate what kind of conversation people will be having with you.

The "negative" experiences I've had on ao3 were mostly invited by my own errors--writing my fic cover shot which is kind of exclusive of readers with darker skin tones, which I was rightly called out for failing to note. And also failing to properly note threats of violence in the first chapter of my fic statistically significant, and accidentally triggering one of my readers, which I still think about and deeply regret to this day.

I also asked for constructive feedback, which I might actually advise against for the first little bit that you are writing. Actually almost none of the concrit that I have received has been actual concrit.

In general, concrit is supposed to recognize the goal of your writing and help you achieve it. But most of the concrit that I have received has been people suggesting their own plotlines and character interpretations, and sometimes that has been phrased as, "Bakugou would never do [X thing you made him do]" or "I don't like that you made them say I love you to each other after just a couple months of knowing each other"--because while I'm sure those comments come from a place of wanting to be helpful, they're super subjective, and don't actually help me write the fic I want to write. And also they can make you feel like an idiot who doesn't understand characters or love or life as well as the next person might.

In general, though, people were very lovely and said that they thought my first few fics were good for first works, and that gave me the encouragement to keep writing!!

I don't know what it might have been like to post my works on tumblr at the same time too, although people have been generally very nice on tumblr as well. I really enjoy the community aspect of tumblr beyond anything, the opportunity to follow and get to know the sorts of people who read my fics!!

I think the one thing that you have to be prepared for when you post on tumblr is salty anons. While asking for no concrit on ao3 should be enough to ward off any more "negative" feedback, I've found tumblr to be just a liiiiiittle bit more hostile in recent months. I think this year especially, people are meaner than ever on the internet lol. I've answered 3 or 4 mean anons publicly in the last 8 months alone, but there are several more I've just chosen to block and delete.

There is almost no way for you to anticipate what kind of thing you will write or say that will upset someone on here, so if I had any advice for you (or past me) it's that you have to anticipate some bad with the good. Tumblr is just a different audience and a different kind of social media where you're judged a little bit more as a person than a writer. But know that the good is totally worth the bad!! The opportunity to really get to know people and make friends on here is the absolute best thing about the fandom.

Anyway I hope this helps and I hope this didn't scare you off!! Being a fic author has been the absolute best thing these past couple years and I totally want you to have the same experience too!!

[senlinyu]

Thanks for the tag @simplifiedemotions

How many works do you have on AO3?

47

What’s your total AO3 word count?

994094. I feel like I've been edging a million words for like a year, and then writing nothing but minifics and one-shots.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just two three. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Edit: And Avatar: The Last Airbender.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Manacled

2. All You Want

3. The Seduction

4. Love and Other Misfortunes.

5. Height

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I don't. When I started posting on ao3 I didn't realize it was a thing, and thought that if I replied that people would think I was doing it to inflate my comment count, and then by the time I realized that it was the polite thing to do, I was in really deep and had overcommitted myself with update schedules. And replying to comments gives me really bad anxiety for some reason, I feel really bad if my replies are repetitive, or like one person gets a longer response than someone else, and so then I start mentally spiralling and stressing about it, so I've just made it a rule that I don't need to reply to comments and prioritize chapter updates as a way of making it up to my readers. But I do read them all.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Manacled, that's the one that has hurt the most people I'd say.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. I find worldbuilding in one universe gives me enough stress without adding on a second one.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Quite a bit of during the last year in particular. I have resigned myself that it's the inevitable consequence of having stories recommended outside of their intended audience, they start finding their way to people who are going to hate them. And I've never prioritized widespread appeal or catered to a particular readership, so it's not surprising, but still it does get to be a bit much somedays when it feels like I can't go anywhere without running into it. But I'm coming to terms with it... and I just stay off social media and keep my social circles small on the days when I don't feel like I can.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have been known to. I don't even know what kind I write. I've done all sorts at this point. I've found that I don't tend to like writing particularly explicit sex in longer fics because I feel like it tends to distract from the focus of the story, but I enjoy writing smutty one-shots and shorter fics where I can give my kinks a full workout.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes... a couple times now. But so far its been something that's been pretty easily resolved.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I've been meaning to make a spreadsheet for translations because I've been trying to get more organised about fandom stuff.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Dramione is what I always come back to in the end.

Whats a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Too many, tbh. I have so many projects that I've started and now they're languishing in my files and I just haven't found them compelling enough to finish or had the motivation to rework into something better.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know. I think my use of language is fairly vivid, visually/physically/emotionally. That's probably my main strength.

What are your writing weaknesses?

My sentences lean towards being too short and choppy all the time. I can't write first person that I don't despise. I get overwhelmed by large casts. And I can get too easily caught up in overanalyzing my plots and picking them apart and thereby never finishing them.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I enjoy it when there's a plot point to it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ugh. Hard to say. I have a lot of fond feelings for Manacled since I am pretty proud of it and I kind of... grew up as a writer in the process of writing it. But that also makes it a kind of painful fic to reread because it's hard for me to see the story people love because I just see all the technical issues and things I could have done better.

A lot of my other fics are based at younger ages like Eighth Year (now I'm currently writing a 6th Year fic) where the framework and perspective of the characters is narrowed by their age, and so even though I like them and really enjoyed writing them, they have less of a sense of resonance for me personally. I have a really complicated fic that I've been developing for over a year now that has probably my most interesting Draco and a very complicated Hermione, and if I can swing it, it'll probably be my favourite because it kind of hits a lot of my sweet spots story-wise. But god knows when I'll get around to publishing it.

Tagging: @bourbonrain, @lovesbitca8, @monsterleadmehome, @im-a-monster-fucking-princess @akashathekitty @wordsmithmusings265 @katsitting @littlemulattokitten @jmilzwrites

[mostlymaudlin]

happy to help. here's some asks: 11, 13, 31, U

thanks friend!!

11. Ever used the 'inspired by' ao3 function?

ha, yes i have thanks 2 u, queen of remixes!! ive written three -- two for remixfest/madness, and one just because im obsessed with @fatalfangirl hahaha

playing for keeps is a simon POV remix of part of @fatalfangirl 's football au playing the field

signs is a baz POV remix of @snowybank's fun watford get-together spider

approximately to infinity is a sci fi remix of @tea-brigade's football au always, almost. apparently i love to remix a football au lol

13. Most productive year (stats - years -wordcount)?

I started writing fanfic in earnest about a year ago, almost to the day (i'd published two random 1k one shots before then). since then, i've published a little over 200,000 words and written tons more. i hadn't realized that -- it's really cool to see :)

31. Beta or no beta? What do you ask betas to look for?

okay i go back and forth here!! i think i had a period where i was really nervous to post something without someone else's eyes on it, but the past few months i have not rly been doing betas. i often get my friends to read a google doc when i finish a first draft of something but mostly so they can pump me up hahaha.

my background in writing before fic was largely professional -- and to get better at that ive learned to love a scathing edit. but one thing im getting used to about fanfic is that i dont rly need to get better. nobody is measuring my performance except me. on the flip side, sometimes theres certain things i want to get better at -- right now im trying to get better at adding more of a sense of like ... ~mystery~/suspense to a story for the reader. (shoutout to @whatevertheweather, because her time loop au the space in between was a master class in this. and it made me be like: i want to be able to do this!!!). so @sillyunicorn is beta-ing a longer wip for me that im working on where im trying to do that, so that we can make sure it hits. but yes! my answer to this question is kind of in transition.

U) Check out author's pages or go back to tag search after reading a good fic?

im so chaotic about reading fics lol. i dont really do tag search! i operate mostly on recs people send me/i find in servers. but if i really really love an author i'll usually save the links to all their fics -- but i try not to binge author pages, because i like having new-to-me fics that i know i can get excited about.

from this ask meme

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

8, 13, 16, 17

ty for the ask!! :D

8. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi chaptered stories?

oh DEFINITELY multi chaptered stories, oneshots are SO difficult for me sdkhfglf everything i write wants to turn into a novel. which i guess makes sense bc i learned to write by writing novels (i was a weird kid lol, and i was homeschooled by two writers, so). but yeah longfic comes much much much much much more easily to me than oneshots do.

13. When did you start writing fanfic?

ooooh. i first published fanfic in 2020, and it was close to being the first fanfic i wrote. i did not have a lot of access to the internet as a kid, so i didn’t really have the opportunity to get deeply involved in fandom or publish fic or anything before i was 18, and from 18-19 i didn’t have a specific fandom that interested me enough to write fic for, and then after i found sanders sides it took a little while to get interested enough to write fic. so that was almost my first fanfic. however, i did write a very cringey awful thing that i thankfully never finished or published when i was maybe 16ish, where i was like “what if star wars was exactly the same but han solo was a cis woman instead.” it. was not good. to say the least sdhfdklhgs i am thankful i did not have an opportunity to publish it dear god.

16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for?

personally not a huge fan of soulmates; if i have a reason to, or think of something interesting to do with the trope, i’ll do it—like, i’ve got one fic (that i still need to finish shdhfkd i swear i have the entire story plotted out i just have to write it) that is a soulmate au, which is because it was for a secret santa and my giftee requested that. but without a specific reason to, i wouldn’t write soulmates. i read it semi-often bc there are a ton of soulmate fics out there in this fandom, but less likely to write it. similarly, would definitely not write hanahaki, and only read it if i know i like the author’s work in general.

i also just don’t love high school aus in most cases. i’ve outgrown them, i think—it mainly just feels weird to me, bc i’m kind of like “those are kids???” but usually the purpose of a high school au is to include ships, and this is probably at least partly my aro & ace self not understanding allo experiences bc i understand it’s realistic for many teens to be figuring out attraction at those ages but,,, idk. it just feels weird and i probably wouldn’t write it. there are a couple of specific cases i might make an exception for (i think moxiety or intruality as high schoolers just figuring out how crushes and relationships work would be very wholesome, although i’m not currently interested in actually writing that), but in most cases i don’t even read high school aus. i much prefer college aus lol.

not really a fan of “there was only one bed” either. i’ll read it on occasion but probably wouldn’t write it, at least not without a specific reason to. (im kind of going through the list of “would not like to write” in my head and going “oh wow like 70% of these are bc im not allo” lol.)

17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for?

ohohohohoho yessss excellent question.

definitely college aus are a favorite for me. they’re just so fun—depending on how you set them up, you can have the sides as very young adults who still have a ton of immaturity to work through, which sets up all kinds of fun story conflict very easily, or you can have them a little more matured and starting to figure out adulthood, depending on what the story needs. it’s really fun to figure out majors for each side in a given au too. and just. i like college aus a lot. there’s so much you can do with them.

any sort of found family will definitely do the trick for me. also i love love love love love to write sibling relationships where they just love each other so much, whether their relationship is good or really really messy. also any side being a good parent. domestic fluff in general is just very chef’s kiss for me.

i also often write something along the lines of “they both like each other but both stubbornly refuse to confess” lol. it’s very entertaining to me

[ask me about writing fanfic!]

[wordstrings]

of sleep-warm skin and love requited

Written and submitted by @delicategoblin:

OK IM OFFICIALLY TERRIFIED BUT IVE EDITED THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF THIS AND I CANT FIND ANYTHING ELSE TO CHANGE SO UHHHHH HERE WE GO. uhhhh you don’t need to anonymize it I’m g with having my actual blog on here i’m just ,,, f r e a k i n g o u t . thank you again for this opportunity though cause i never would have done this otherwise,,,,also it’s kinda cringe i know but i’m fragile ok i needed the Bois being soft

Publisher’s note: The first official fic of I Fixed/Fic’d It: A Supernatural Fluffsgiving Event! I absolutely love this and it’s exactly what my heart needed.

Words: 1,700

—

of sleep-warm skin and love requited

Soft puffs of warm air blew onto his chest, it blew the fine hairs that grew there against their follicles. It was an annoying, tickling sensation that made it feel like there was a bug crawling on him. He didn’t move, though, or adjust the sleeping hunter in his arms. It served as a grounding sensation, a reminder that the warm body lying next to him was just that; warm, breathing, alive.

“I c’n feel you look’n at me weird.” Dean’s sleepy voice cut through the gentle silence that hung around them. One sleepy green eye cracked open and he shifted, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s bare torso tighter and burying his nose into his sternum.

“I was admiring you,” Castiel protested indignantly and smiled at the muffled embarrassed noise Dean made against him.

“Less admiring, more sleeping.” He grumbled, and pressed a placating kiss to Cas’s throat. Castiel let out a contented hum and let his fingers glide up Dean’s muscled back, feather-light, and up to the nape of his neck.

“Quit it.” Dean shuddered and fell back onto the mattress with a bleary-eyed glare. Castiel shifted onto his side and smoothed his thumb over the crease in Dean’s forehead that resulted from his affronted expression. Dean didn’t comply with his silent request, and it was Cas’s turn to frown. He leaned down and pressed a tiny chaste kiss to the wrinkle, Dean just shied away and huffed.

“Dean,” Castiel squinted at the stubborn man beside him, who stuck his tongue out and made a point to draw his eyebrows even further - the crease became more prominent. Cas could almost laugh, but this was a challenge. A challenge he didn’t intend to back down from.

“Cas,” He mocked, pulling a face.

Oh, so that’s how it was.

Gears in Castiel’s head were turning, but before they could even quite slot into place, he was on top of Dean, pinning him to the mattress with his weight. Dean’s eyes widened, no longer half-shut with the remnants of sleep, and he sucked in a breath. Pupils blown wide, and Castiel grinned. Dean had a very wrong idea of what was about to happen.

“Dean, you’re very stubborn.”

Dean smirked and waggled his eyebrows, before quickly returning to his previous expression, complete with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

Castiel hummed as if he were deep in thought, tracing his index finger from Dean’s collarbone to his sternum. Dean cringed and pushed himself back into the mattress.

“Me? Well, I’m going to knock you down a peg or two, in a manner of speaking.” Castiel purred, resting all ten of his fingertips on his ribs, a salacious grin on his face.

“You, on the other hand,” He continued, gliding his hands down to rest at Dean’s sides. “You’re going to smile for me.”

Dean barely had time to swallow nervously before his senses were set alight by tingling, buzzing electricity. He bit his lip and squirmed, grappling with Castiel’s flitting hands.

“C-Cas, c-c’moHAH. Nonono, c’mohon man, this shit’s for kIDS.” His voice raised an octave when the ex-angel who was enjoying this way too much dug his infuriatingly skilled fingers into his tummy.

It took less than three minutes for Dean to be lost to laughter, punctured by the occasional ‘No!’ or ‘Cas!’ and things that were definitely not shrieks when his attacker got to a bad spot.

Cas, the bastard, was watching him with a big stupid smile on his face. It was so wide and genuine Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad when he caught glimpses of his face amidst his thrashing.

“Cas! Cas, it’s like 4 am, stoho- nahaha CAHAHAS NOT THERE, YOUSONUVABIHIHITCH.” Dean cackled and threw his head back with laughter as Castiel’s hands shot into his armpits, he convulsed and clamped his arms down as hard as he could. Nothing could deter Cas’s determined digits.

When Dean’s breathing started sounding labored, Castiel retreated his hands and took to scritching at Dean’s lower belly. Tickling there, just above his waist-band, was the closest thing to giggling he thought Dean Winchester was capable of. His other hand, bored and itching to roam the squirming body beneath him, cupped Dean’s other side and stroked the skin there. There was another layer of squirming away added to Dean’s half-hearted struggle.

“Caaaas, quihihit playing with my chubby spots.” He whined through bubbling laughter. It was innocent enough, but Castiel knew this man well enough to tell the difference between a joke and genuine insecurity.

Castiel pursed his lips and abandoned his tickling, leaning forward to kiss the panting, red-faced mess. Dean was enthusiastic, cupping the back of Castiel’s head, meeting his kiss sloppily with an open mouth and obscene smacking sounds.

When Castiel pulled away, Dean’s hand kept him there; their faces just inches apart, noses brushing.

“You’re the single most beautiful creature in all of creation, Dean Winchester. Inside and out.” Castiel said firmly, cupping Dean’s jaw reverently and looking into his lover’s wide eyes. A faint blush dusted Dean’s cheeks and he dropped his gaze, shrugging, and grumbling. Cas used his hand to nudge Dean’s face back up and pressed kiss after kiss to Dean’s face. His forehead, each eyelid, his nose, his top, and bottom lip, and his chin.

“I’ve seen stars born,” Castiel murmured against his jaw, pressing another kiss to the stubbled skin.

“Galaxies formed,” Another kiss, this time to his neck, then his collarbone, then his sternum.

“Supernovas,” His chest, right over his heart.

“I witnessed the creation of the very first life forms,” His ribs.

“I’m older than time, older than this world, than the universe.” His diaphragm, his stomach, his hip.

“It’s you, Dean. Nothing I’ve ever seen, ever experienced, could ever hold a candle to you. I just wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

Dean sat completely still, watching Cas with twinkling eyes, he swallowed thickly and made to sit up, Cas climbed off him and Dean leaned forward, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder.

“You mean that?” He whispered, taking Castiel’s hand and fiddling with his fingers. Castiel smiled and pressed a kiss to the crown of Dean’s head, nodding.

“Yes, Dean. I mean it.”

Castiel could hear the quiver in his breath when Dean inhaled deeply.

“That’s pretty gay, man.” He said shakily, pulling away from Castiel with a wobbly smile on his face.

“That it is. I’d venture to say what I’m about to say is gayer, though; I think your smile is especially beautiful. And your laugh.” Castiel added with a sly smile. Dean was quicker on the uptake, though, and before Cas could follow through on his plan, he found himself pinned to the mattress. Staring down a disgruntled Dean, who wasted no time in reaching behind him and kneading Castiel’s thighs.

He howled with laughter and grabbed blindly at Dean’s arms.

“DEAN! DEAN, STOHOHOP!” He bucked underneath the grinning man.

“You started it! And you were about to ambush me again.” He feigned offense, his words spoken around a laugh. His hands converged on Cas’s ribs and dug into the giggle-shriek-inducing spots between each bone.

Expertly, Dean took Castiel apart. Fingers seasoned with years of big-brother experience. His goal was to just tire Cas out to the point he wouldn’t be able to re-retaliate. Ten fingers scribbled across his belly and Cas was lost to giggles that Dean would never tire of hearing.

“Deheheannn, nahaha I’m sohOHORY!” He barely managed around an honest to god squeal that left his mouth when one of Dean’s curious fingers wiggled into his bellybutton.

“See, I just don’t think that’s true.” Dean tutted.

He could have continued on forever, sweet laughter and adorable attempts at an escape or a plea. But, now that Cas was human and oxygen was kind of a necessity, he made the mature decision (what can he say, falling in love changed him) to stop. He pulled away with a parting raspberry to the side of Cas’s neck, which made him shriek and jackknife under him.

“I didn’t bring you back from super hell just so you could tickle the shit out of me, you know,” Dean said, poking his hip. Cas flinched and rubbed a hand over his face, residual giggles still tumbling out of his mouth. He sighed and parted his fingers, peering up at Dean.

“Why did you bring me back, then?” He challenged. Dean glared down at him, but his gaze held no heat. Maybe some exasperation.

“You know why.”

Castiel pulled his hands away from his face and shrugged innocently.

“I don’t, actually.”

“I told you,” Dean huffed. Don’t ask why he was allowing himself to be swept up into Cas’s little game - maybe he liked it. Or maybe he felt guilty still.

“You told me lots of things - through wailing sobs, so it was hard to understand at times. Here; I’ll even make it easy for you. I love you…”

“I know,” Dean replied in a mocking, honeyed tone as he flopped back onto the mattress, pointedly shutting his eyes. Castiel let out a long-suffering sigh and lay back next to him, body curved around Dean’s; a perfect fit, like pieces of a puzzle slotting together. It was a shame Dean was being too much of a man-baby for Castiel to properly enjoy their compatibility and closeness at the moment.

“You’re impossible,” Cas murmured into the skin of Dean’s shoulder, reaching over to pinch at Dean’s waist. He curled away with a squeak that made Cas’s heart swell and grabbed his hands.

“No more tickling,” He pouted. The other man smiled fondly and pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple.

“No more tickling.” He agreed, nodding solemnly.

Then it was quiet again, peaceful. The soft sounds of Dean’s breaths were in sync with his own - the feeling of his heart beating was still alien to him, even though it wasn’t something he noted often.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean said quietly, fingering a mindless pattern on Castiel’s bicep, “I do. Love you, I mean.”

Castiel smiled and pressed his thumb gently into the give of Dean’s thigh, reveling in the softness, the warmth.

“I know.”